#who is also abandoned and lonely. but who cultivates love and hope

[mokutone]

somewhere a switch flipped. suddenly you want to like people. you want to be liked. you want to be of use to these people who are becoming precious to you, not just for your own survival, but for their happiness

[ohmypreciousgirl]

Xicheng Rec List

I compiled my favorite fics for @waterandsilver after they posted they were finally seeing the appeal of Xicheng. I volunteered to give them good fics to help them understand better the appeal of our ship! So, here we go!

Post-Canon Fics

A Bit of Ruthlessness 110,111 When Jiang Cheng hears that Lan Xichen went into seclusion following Jin Guangyao’s death, it’s almost as if he can see the grabby hands of a restless ghost, reaching out for something to keep him company. For something warm and living and devastated. And as history has proven time and time again, the Lans are perfect victims when it comes to giving in to ghosts.

Yeah, no. Not on Jiang Cheng’s fucking watch.

Moments of Clarity 5,201 Snapshots of Lan Huan's road to recovery with a helping hand from Sandu Shengshou. Companion piece from Jiang Cheng’s POV: A Present so Promising 

Faith 8,109 [Part 1 of the The Provenance of Hope series] Lan Huan isn’t sure he’s ready for this. (or, Lan Huan and Jiang Cheng meet on a night hunt.)

Visiting Cloud Recesses 7,566 [Part 1 of the Visiting Cloud Recesses series]   Since the sunshot campaign they haven't interacted a lot outside of sect business, but Jiang Cheng has always found the First Jade of Lan gracious and pleasant to be around. Especially in comparison to his younger brother, who would never smile at Jiang Cheng the way Lan Xichen is right now, as if he's genuinely happy to see him.

It's easier to let go (let me hold you) 24,464 Five times someone noticed something was wrong and the one time someone did something about it.

Carried on the wind 1,129 [Part 1 of the The courtship of Jiang Wanyin & Lan Xichen series] Lan Xichen’s voice is very soft when he says: “Today is the day our mother died.”

Overgrown 1,408 [Part 1 of the Coming home to you series] Jiang Cheng has better things to do than follow Lan Xichen around Lotus Pier, and yet here he is.

Regret 2,290 Lan Xichen is left standing in his garden, his garden of regret and shame and all the bad things Lan Xichen hates about himself, and suddenly he can’t stand it for one second longer.

A lovely name 3,146 [Part 1 of the Paws for thought series] Jiang Cheng doesn’t like the feeling of a curse sinking through his skin at the best of times, and now he’s a fucking cat, because Wei Wuxian thinks he’s hilarious. Well, he won’t find it so hilarious when Jiang Cheng changes back and breaks his legs.

Breaking Anew 20,389 There are different ways a person can break. It is a lesson Jiang Cheng will spend his life learning.

Under The Morning Sun  22,739 Jiang Cheng returns to Cloud Recesses to find peace and stability. Instead, he finds an unexpected romance with Lan Xichen. Sequel: Strength of Your Love 

(nothing special) (something special) 4,950 Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen both have jagged edges. But perhaps their broken pieces can fit together into something new. Sequel: won't you say you love me later

Come to Decide 2,381 [Part 1 of the Little Talks series] “This is why I lose sleep over you,” Jiang Cheng murmured. “You might think I’m pining for your touch or your voice or your gaze, but no - I’m just worrying about you being an idiot.”

Don't stop being rude 2,582 “The Hanshi,” Lan Jingyi suddenly says, effectively jolting Jiang Cheng out of his thoughts, and bowing again. 

“Please talk some sense into Zewu-Jun.”

“Oh, that I will,” Jiang Cheng promises and when a tiny spark of fear enters Lan Jingyi’s eyes, he gives him his sweetest smile before he walks off.

“Oh gods, what have I done,” he hears Lan Jingyi mutter behind him, but he doesn’t try to stop him.

Clever boy.

Don't let him win 1,685 “What are you doing?” Jiang Cheng asks him, voice much softer now, and he’s quick to carefully rub some warmth back into Lan Xichen’s hands.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Lan Xichen whispers, the same thing he always says when Jiang Cheng forces his way into Lan Xichen’s seclusion, but Jiang Cheng couldn’t give less of a fuck about this.

“Well, neither should you,” he gives back, a well-rehearsed dance by now, and Lan Xichen’s mouth twists in that all too familiar way.

Good things about Yunmeng 3,343 Or, the one where Jiang Cheng attempts the impossible.

Love Is For Other People 3,704 It wasn’t that Jiang Cheng never thought about it. About love, that was.

Listless 1,787 When Jiang Cheng came up with his list, he knew that everyone else's would be different from his. It just hurts to find out again and again that he would never be the first.

And then there's Xichen.

twinkle of a bell 7,821 Jiang Cheng and Lan Huan meet at the abandoned village, looking for at least a glimpse of a new life.

Tread 1,647 “I’m going to take him with me,” Jiang Cheng says and even though Lan Xichen can’t see them, he can feel the tension in the air.

“No,” comes Wangji’s almost immediate answer, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Not that it ever stopped Jiang Cheng before.

these tears flowing down aren't a waste 2,002 “How do I confess my love to someone?” Jin Ling asks.

“Do I look like someone who has been in love?” Jiang Cheng questions back.

Through a Storm that Never Goes Away 32,948 For all of that, for his inherent complicitness in Jin Guangyao’s crimes, for trying to maintain impartiality until he had enough evidence, Lan Xichen could understand wanting him dead.

He could even understand if there were those who still felt the need to take some revenge for what Jin Guangyao did and were dissatisfied that he was dead. Lan Xichen might look like an acceptable target.

But to target Wangji as well...

I am cursed to love you (to the grave) 39,410 Jiang Cheng can't sleep.

The Comfort of You 24,904 [Part 1 of the The Belonging series] On the eve of Jin Ling's 20th birthday, Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen take a step forward into a life that will forever be changed.

(Three years after the events of Guanyin Temple Lan Xichen asks a pivotal question of the man he's been falling in love with for the past year. Jiang Cheng has never really felt what he feels for Lan Xichen and falls apart in his hands. And that's okay.)

I Put You First 7,178 Lan Xichen gets a little jealous when the Other Boys thirst over Sect Leader Jiang. Luckily, Jiang Cheng only has eyes for one man.

Canon Era Fics

A Small Measure of Peace 122,790 With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.

There's Hope for the Hopeless 11,791 Part of being Sect Leader means going to weddings, both those important to him and those that he is convinced to attend.

5 times Jiang Cheng went to a wedding + his own.

A good night's rest 1,795 [Part 1 of the Sing for me series] Jiang Cheng is standing at the end of the pier, clad in simple sleeping robes, and he’s walking up and down, bouncing a sniffling Jin Ling on his arm. And he is singing to the boy, his voice soft and low, but clear enough to ring out over the water and carry.

Lan Xichen stops dead in his tracks and keeps still, not wanting to disturb Jiang Cheng or upset Jin Ling again. The boy is clearly fighting sleep, but the steady movement of Jiang Cheng and his lullaby are doing wonders in dragging him to sleep anyway.

Beside You 6,624 [Part 1 of the Lan Furen series]

Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier behind him, giving up his position, his family and his home to start a new life as a rogue cultivator. He can't quite make himself leave Yunmeng completely though, not just yet, and as he loiters on the outskirts he comes across Lan Xichen, evidently on the run.

Together, they fret for themselves, their loved ones and each other as the Wens and impending danger draws closer.

The Desperate Search Began 2,361 [Part 1 of the Some Day I'm Gonna Make You Mine series] It starts with a fight, Jin Zixun and Jiang Wanyin bumping heads over a battle plan. The Sunshot campaign will not slow for one brush of ego, but Jin Zixun has found himself outranked by a boy that he feels of no consequence compared to a member of the shining Jin sect.

When Nie Mingjue is present, or even Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixun keeps his counsel. He does not push. Sadly, the bruise to his ego will not appear to have forgotten that while he is a valued member of their war council, Jiang Wanyin is a sect leader now. The fact that he’s a boy younger than even Jin Zixuan, rankles.

Add that they are only witnessed by Lan Xichen and Jin Zixun becomes a discredit to Lanling Jin.

remember these words i say 4,133 “Please, allow me to fix this.” Lan Xichen finds himself asking, begging. It is for his own peace of mind, but it is also for Jiang Cheng and for Jin Ling, for the people of Lotus Pier who have watched their home burn and fought hard to build it back.

“I do not know how you could.” Jiang Cheng points out.

Lan Xichen nods in agreement. “I do not know either, now, but –” Wangji isn’t the only stubborn one in the family, “I will find a way.” He promises, determined.

fill the cracks in (with your light) 2,947 [Part 1 of the moments through the years series] Lan Xichen's voice doesn't have the usual light note in it when he asks, “What are we doing, Jiang Wanyin?”

Waxing Moon 1,925 [Part 1 of Soft] After Wei Wuxian was sent home from Cloud Recesses, Jiang Cheng realizes it's pretty lonely without him. Luckily, sulking on a rooftop leads to a new friendship.

Tipsy at best 2,458 Jiang Cheng tugs Nie Huaisang along, and they are stumbling more than walking, but in their inebriated state even that is funny.

They are snickering still when they suddenly see a figure in white appear at the end of the path.

“Uh-oh,” Jiang Cheng says, and it’s entirely too loud, but he’s still too drunk to care about that right now.

Nie Huaisang, on the other hand, seems to have sobered up, because his eyes take on a calculating glint behind his fan.

“Say, Jiang Cheng, what were your requirements for a partner again?” Nie Huaisang asks and it’s enough to make Jiang Cheng stop.

it all passes someday 13,638 A week before the anniversary of Wei Wuxian’s death, there was a commotion outside Lan Wangji’s house.

Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji over the years.

Punishment 5,415 [Part 1 of the The Rules of Living series] “33 lashes,” one of the Elders suddenly coldly says and Lan Xichen’s stomach turns over. “20 for his brother and 13 for daring to defy us,” he goes on and Lan Xichen bows his head in acceptance.

The same punishment Lan Wangji endured. Lan Xichen can do it, too.

And he manages, without a sound, like Lan Wangji, if only just barely.

[trikruismybitch]

@trikruismybitch

Dialgue Prompt List

“Oh this is nothing”

“I’ve had worse”

“Have you ever loved someone that didn’t love you back?”

“I wish I knew how to quit you.”

“I’m also just a girl standing in-front of you, asking you to love her.”

“And the last thing you will ever see will be me because I love you.”

“Because that’s what you are, that’s what you’ll always be.”

“You have to let me go. You have to let me, let you go. I need you to do that for me.”

“There’s all of this pressure to be all of these things to be fucking perfect but I’m not. I’m not fucking perfect.”

“I’ll always love you cus’ we grew up together and you helped make me who I am. I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always and I’m grateful for that.”

“I will not be the person you settle for just because you can’t have her.”

“I used to think you were the best thing that happened, but now I think you might maybe be the worst thing.”

“I told you my story and you judged me?”

“Most of the time, most days I feel nothing. I don’t feel anything. It is so boring, I wake up and I think, again? Really? I have to do this again?”

“I don’t know that I find myself anywhere.”

“You can rest now.”

“You have your mothers eyes.”

“Well I am fine, I will be fine, really.”

“(Name)? (Name) come on, you got to get up.”

“All I’ve ever wanted to be is loved.”

“Take her to the moon for me.”

“I would rather die tomorrow, then live a hundred years without you.”

“I don’t want to survive. I want to live.”

“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

“I love her. She breaks my heart again and again, but I love her.”

“I love every broken bone in your body.”

“I miss you. I miss not touching each other. Not seeing each other, not breathing in each other. I want you all the time—no one else.”

“You never loved me. You just loved how much I loved you.”

“You don't have any idea what I have or haven't done to get to where I am.”

“I keep thinking about all the things I never said because I was so sure, there would be other days to say them.”

“What happened to us?”

“You abandoned me”

“I needed you”

“So that’s it then? Your writing me off?”

“I can’t wait around every time to pick up the pieces, every time you freak out!”

“Don’t this, ok? Don’t leave me again.”

“We are done, ok? No more surprises. No more excuses. No more chances, we’re done.”

“I think you should go. You see I love you so much I just want you to be happy, even if that happiness no longer includes me.”

“One day you’re going to have to stop pretending everything’s okay.”

“I don’t want to face my future without you.”

“All I needed was for you to tell me you felt something…and you didn’t.”

“You don’t know what I look like, when I’m not in love with you.”

“Truth is I’ve tried to stop thinking about you. But I can’t.”

“If you lay even a finger on her I swear I will make you suffer in ways even your evil mind can't imagine.”

“Deal with your jealousy. Deal with your shortcomings. Don’t put your crap on me.”

“I want so much for you. For both of us. So much more than this. More then being stuck with someone who feels stuck. I want you to feel free.”

“Don’t look at me like that. Like I’m damaged goods. I’m still me. I’m still here.”

“Tell me it isn’t true. Please. Tell me I heard wrong.”

“Please tell me your joking.”

“If you push me away I promise you, you won’t find me where you left me. My hearts big but not big enough to deal with people, who only decide to love me when it’s convenient.”

“My heart shattered in pieces when I see the way you look at them-the way you used to look at me.”

“Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.”

“My dream? My dream wouldn’t be complete without you in it.”

“Because I want you! All of you. forever.”

“I’ve realized that I don’t care if (name) is the most perfect (gender) in the world. Their not you.”

“Please don’t give up on me. Promise. Promise me you won’t.”

“When I had no one else you accepted me....and you showed me what it was like to be loved.”

“You’re my person”

“I didn’t fall in love with you because I was lost and lonely. I fell in love with you because when I bonded with you, I had finally found my home where I felt safe.”

“I love everything about you. Even the things I don’t like, I love. And I want you with me. I love you and I think you love me too. Do you?”

“You came back” “I always come back”

“If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it out loud and you go from there.”

“You know I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. You’re just the most amazing beautiful girl I ever met, and I don’t know, somehow you chose me....but how I loved you then, it’s nothing compared to how I love you now. I love you with everything inside of me.”

“I don’t care where we are. I just care that we’re together, you’re my home.”

*“And honestly when I’m with her, I completely forget what I’ve done.”

“If you walk away, it’s for you because I know what I want. I want you (name), I love you.”

“I’m still mad at you because being around you drives me nuts and not being around you drives me nuts.”

“I believe that when you love someone and that person loves you in return, you’re uniquely vulnerable. They have a power to hurt you like nothing else.”

“Anybody capable of love is capable of being saved.”

“It’s not a crime to love what you cannot explain.”

“You were by my side when I needed a friend. You made me laugh. You made me dance. You told me that I would find love again… And, I understand if I have to wait for you, and I will. I’ll wait. And when you’re ready for me, I will be ready for you.”

“Love’s always going to require a huge leap of faith. A big, scary leap over a hot pit of lava. And, you might end up heartbroken, but you might be the happiest person on the face of the earth.”

“Through all of this, you’re the one thing that kept me from giving up.”

“I don’t pretend to be anything when I’m with (name), that’s the whole point. I get to be myself.”

“I would rather spend every moment in agony than erase the memory of you.”

“When it’s real you can’t walk away.”

“If it’d were my choice I’d be with you forever.”

“I’d tell you to have hope because sometimes that’s all that keeps me going.”

“They was your first love. I intend to be your last. However long it takes."

“I don't know who I am without you, but I know that as long as I'm with you, time will stand still."

“I’m not going anywhere. I’d rather burn alive than abandon you.”

“To me you’re the whole damn world.”

“You don't marry the person you can live with—you marry the person you can't live without."

"I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow."

"A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you."

"My love for you is a journey, starting at forever and ending at never."

"You're something between a dream and a miracle."

"I look at you and see the rest of my life in front of my eyes."

“When I look at you, I see everything I've ever wanted."

“You are every lovely word I could think of."

"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever."

"For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you."

"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

“You have made a place in my heart where I thought there was no room for anything else. You have made flowers grow where I cultivated dust and stones."

"You make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way."

"I've come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is, and always will be, yours."

"What I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, I like you, very much. Just as you are."

“It's like in that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together."

“You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.”

"You want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. I’ll get you the moon.”

"I love you. You complete me."

"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met."

“You make me want to be better.”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time. I have terrible judgment.”

“I’m surrounded be idiots.”

“It’s not my fault you dated a bunch of losers till you met me.”

“Badges? We ain’t got no badges? We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!”

“It’s just a flesh wound”

“Your bleeding out!”

"If I wasn't terrified of heights, I'd like this. But, I'm terrified of heights, so I don't like this."

“That's it, Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!"

“That’s like a big misconception. I’m not shy! I just don’t speak if I don’t have anything to say.”

“It’s not bragging if it’s true.”

“She is more like “girl with dragon tattoo" than “the girl next door”

“I will slap the taste out of your mouth.”

“Give me a mountain, I’ll climb it. Give me a Katy Perry song, I’ll sing it.”

“There is no such thing as bad ideas. Just poorly executed awesome ideas.”

“I was ambushed. I was shot. Now, I’m vengeful.”

“Kiss me or kill me. We both know you’re only capable of one.”

“I know I called you bro, but I lowkey wanna marry you.”

“If I was meant to be controlled I would’ve come with a remote.”

“I know looks aren’t everything but I have them just in case.”

“You think I’m crying about you? No I’m crying about all the time I wasted on you.”

“Do I regret it, yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

“If you were my wife I’d put poison in your coffee.” “If you were my mine I’d drink it.”

“if you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”

“No I checked my receipt, I didn’t buy any of your bullshit.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

[sincerelystranger]

Author: This is kind of a spoiler for my fic, Linger by the Door (I’ve Always Been Yours). It’s basically Lan Qiren acquiescing and giving his blessing of LZ and WWX’s relationship. 

-----

“Before the Twin Jades of Gusu, there was the Jade Dragon,” Lan Qiren says slowly, looking at the boy – man – who has ruined his life.

Wei Wuxian.

What does Wangji see in him? He wonders. What about this boy could possibly be worth abandoning his sect? His path of cultivation?

Wei Wuxian does not move or speak – he just stares at Lan Qiren, something in his eyes unsettlingly understanding. Waiting for him to continue.

“My brother was hailed as the most prodigious cultivator in 100 years,” he continues, his chest aching. He’s never spoken this to anyone – would never have imagined telling it to Wei Wuxian of all people. “He was talented and handsome and kind… and I was proud to be his brother.”

Wei Wuxian nods then, just a slight tilt of his head, as if he understands. Could he understand? This evil boy with no respect for traditions or values. Could he understand the type of pride that came from family? What could this demon know of loving someone so much that their accomplishments felt like yours?

Lan Qiren remembers then, the soft way Jiang Fengmian had spoken about Wei Wuxian. The pride and fondness that thrummed beneath his words. He remembers how Wei Wuxian fought for his sister’s honor, how he suffered happily in her stead.

“It was difficult – is difficult – for me to understand how someone like my brother could he felled by a single woman, but he was.” He has to stop then, the ache in his chest creeping up into his throat. It’s strange how the pain never ebbs. How many times did he watch his brother die, he wonders.

Death in seclusion.

Lan Qiren thinks a part of him also died when his brother chose to hide himself away from the world. His brother, who had shone brighter than anyone, living in shame... because of a woman. Because of love. Qiren couldn’t understand it then -- can only barely understand it now.

And then, dying by slow degrees – heart broken by the death of that woman. Wasting away day by day, unable to take his own life, but also unable to face a world without her.

And finally, dying for his sect.

Strong and courageous till the very end. 

(In secret, Lan Qiren wonders whether his brother meant to survive the Wens at all. Did he ever plan on making it out alive?)

“Wangji is very much like my brother,” he says, taking a sip of his tea to loosen the ache in his throat. “From the beginning, he was impossibly talented… and kind. Xichen, of course, was talented and kind as well… but from the beginning, Xichen was more like me. I could understand Xichen much better than Wangji.”

Lan Qiren remembers the quiet child all those years ago. So steadfast and resolved – so much like his brother. Xichen had always been flexible – understanding of Qiren’s strictness and accepting of his role within the sect. 

Wangji had not understood… but he had listened because he loved his uncle. Qiren had always known that – had always known that Wangji’s obedience did not come from understanding but from love – and it had scared him.

Love.

Love ruined you. Qiren had seen it firsthand. Had experienced it himself. He had loved his brother and watching his brother destroy himself had been torture.

“I was strict with Wangji – much stricter than I needed to be. You have to understand…” he feels embarrassed suddenly, admitting all this to Wei Wuxian – the bane of his existence, “… I watched my brother suffer because of… emotion… and I wanted to do everything in my power so that Wangji would not suffer the same fate.”

Wei Wuxian still does not speak. He just keeps watching Lan Qiren, his eyes still unnervingly kind. He loves Wangji as well, Lan Qiren realizes. Wei Wuxian walked willingly into a place that he knows doesn’t want him because he loves Wangji.

Lan Qiren wishes he didn’t know that. He wishes Wei Wuxian was less brave. It would be easier to hate him. Because Lan Qiren wishes, more than anything, that he could hate Wei Wuxian.

(But he finds it’s difficult to hate someone who loves Wangji so selflessly)

“I realize now that Wangji was suffering,” he admits, shame creeping up his spine, “the 16 years you were gone… he was suffering, and I chose to ignore it. He was dying by slow degrees and I ignored it because – because I thought it was better that he suffer than him have any association with you.”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t flinch at Lan Qiren’s words. Doesn’t look away, doesn’t make a sound. It’s infuriating. All those instances that Lan Qiren asked silence of him and he chooses now of all times to listen. Maybe he finds some sort of perverse pleasure in watching Lan Qiren rip himself open this way.

“What I mean to say,” and embarrassment is hot in his stomach at what he’s about to admit, “is that everything I’ve done up until now is so that I would not lose Wangji.”

Wei Wuxian nods then, as if he understands. As if he knew all along.

How infuriating.

“But the truth is that I lost him 16 years ago,” he sighs, looking away from Wei Wuxian, unable to endure the kindness of his gaze. “I was lying to myself -- that Wangji was recovering from your loss, that Wangji had been momentarily led astray by your wicked ways – but that wasn’t it at all, was it?”

Lan Qiren can be honest with himself now. He can remember the deadness of Wangji’s eyes, the listlessness of his actions. How he went day by day as if he was just passing time. Desiring death but brave enough to endure life.

It’s a stark difference to how Wangji is now. It’s as if Wei Wuxian brought Wangji along as he came back to life.

“Wangji has only come back to us recently,” he says slowly, “and I am loathe to lose him again.”

That’s the truth, at the end of the day. As much as Lan Qiren had tried to teach emotion out of his nephews, he had never known how to do it himself. He never learned how to stop hurting, how to stop loving. How foolish had he been to expect that from his nephews.

“If keeping Wangji means acknowledging you – acknowledging that you will be his cultivation partner… then I will do that.”

It’s his loss again, he thinks sardonically. Cangse Sanren had always bested him when they were students and even in death, here she was besting him again. How irritating.

“Thank you,” Wei Wuxian says finally, “Thank you.”

It’s irritating – Lan Qiren doesn’t want to be thanked. This is the most painful decision of his life. It goes against all he’s ever taught – putting emotion in front of sense. Emotion in front of tradition, in front of rules, in front of right. His ancestors are probably rolling in their graves.

But it’s unbearable, the thought of losing Lan Wangji. The thought of him roaming the world, sect-less, with only this demonic cultivator next to him.

“You should know,” Wei Wuxian continues, “If I could make Lan Zhan love anyone else – I would.”

Lan Qiren wants to tell Wei Wuxian to be silent. He doesn’t want to hear goodness – kindness – come out of his mouth. Lan Qiren wants to hate him, doesn’t Wei Wuxian understand that?

“I know I’m not deserving,” Wei Wuxian says, a small, self-deprecating smile on his lips, “but Lan Zhan has loved me for 16 lonely years – he loves me now – and I will not leave him to love alone any longer.”

Silence, Lan Qiren thinks desperately, his chest heavy. He remembers now, the loneliness that Wangji wore like a shroud. How he had seemed miles away at all times. His nephew had been suffering – dying in front of his eyes – and Lan Qiren had ignored him.

He had been waiting for his obedient nephew to come back, he realized. He had done nothing but wait.

“I cannot promise that I will be able to follow all 3,000 rules – and I’m sure I’ll do many things that you find distasteful, because, at the end of the day, I cannot change who I am,” Wei Wuxian says, “but I love Lan Zhan – no matter what you think of me, please be assured of that. I love him more than my own life and I will love him for as long as he will have me and beyond that.”

The way Wei Wuxian says that does not sit well with Lan Qiren. “Does that mean that you expect that there will be a day that my nephew will no longer have you?” he asks, curious.

Wei Wuxian huffs a small laugh at that, scratching his nose in embarrassment. “I can only hope,” he says softly. He smiles at Lan Qiren, his eyes warm, and Lan Qiren finds that maybe he can understand, at least a little, what Wangji sees in this demon.

“I know you may not believe this, but I want the same things for Lan Zhan as you do,” Wei Wuxian says, “I want him to be happy – I wish that he would walk an easier path.”

“It seems you are not entirely without sense,” Lan Qiren says, “You recognize that him choosing you has opened him to the world’s derision.”

“Of course,” Wei Wuxian nods.

“But you still intend to become his cultivation partner?”

“I’ve never been able to deny Lan Zhan anything,” Wei Wuxian replies easily, “The only thing I can do now is make sure that he does not face the world alone.”

Foolish boy, Lan Qiren thinks. Foolish, brave boy.

“Wangji has never been one to change his mind,” Lan Qiren admits quietly, “Now that he’s chosen to be by your side, I’m quite sure there will never come a day that he does not choose you.”

“I will not shame him,” Wei Wuxian says resolutely, his gaze firm and unyielding. “Whatever Lan Zhan chooses, now and for the rest of his life, I will honor it.”

In that moment, Lan Qiren is reminded that the man in front of him is the man who declared war on the world and might as well have won.

Perhaps… perhaps, Wangji can be entrusted to him.

“Treat Wangji with the utmost respect, you evil boy,” Lan Qiren says, “I will never forgive you if you treat Wangji with any less… love than he deserves.”

Wei Wuxian nods seriously, and moves to get up, sensing that their conversation is over.

He bows when he stands.

“Thank you,” he says, “Thank you for taking good care of Lan Zhan – I humbly ask that you continue that care. I will also be in your care from now on.”

What a evil boy, Lan Qiren thinks furiously, blinking the sudden wetness from his eyes. An evil boy, always full of surprises.

“Leave!” he scowls, his throat aching.

Thank you for taking good care of Lan Zhan.

He’s done his best, hasn’t he?

Later he will visit Xichen. Tell him the news.

And later… much later, he will visit his brother.

He will tell his brother that Wangji is still very much like him, except that he’s braver -- braver than his brother or himself could ever imagine being. 

Also, Cloud Recesses will be a much louder place from now on. 

But for now, he will finish his tea, repeat Wei Wuxian’s words over and over again in his head, and hope that he can swallow down the ache in his throat.

Thank you for taking good care of Lan Zhan.

[linkspooky]

Frankenstein and the Monster

So there is loads of speculation on a connection between Dabi and Frankenstein’s monster. There are several people who have already commented on it, here, here, and even here. (These are all the ones I could dig up recently). Frankenstein is a novel that can be read in many ways, but I believe the themes of the novel parallels and helps illustrate the relationship between Ujiko, Endeavor and Dabi.

1. Endeavor and Victor Frankenstein

To very briefly touch upon the novel for those who haven’t read it, there are several differences between Boris Karloff’s movie depiction and the original novel. In the novel the creature is intelligent, well spoken, and a reflection of the Doctor Frankenstein himself. To summarize quickly, Frankenstein a very dramatic undergrad student discovers the secret to reviving the dead, uses that to create a monster, then upon seeing how ugly it is flees. The monster grows up in isolation, is spurned by every human he comes across, and then returns to his master and says he will kill everyone the Doctor Loves unless he creates him a mate. Frankenstein destroys the mate, and then the monster destroys his wife to be on the night of their wedding then they chase each other around in the arctic until both of them die. If that wasn’t a sufficient enough summary, this crash course video is a good writeup of the book and it’s themes. 

Frankenstein has a lot to say about science and treading in god’s domain, but it’s also written by a woman who was a teenager at the time (Mary Shelley) who existed in a soical circle of adult men who were much older than her. Just as much as it’s a novel about mad science gone wrong, there are strong themes of feminism, parenthood, and abuse intertwined in the novel. 

Another popular reading is to interpret “Frankenstein” autobigraophically, a reading that was encouraged via 1970s feminist criticism of the novel. Earlier readings along those lines centered Frankenstein as a tale of monstrous birth and look to Mary Shelley’s own experiences with birth, which were pretty terrible.

Mary Shelley’s mother died when giving birth to her, and Mary and Shelley’s own first child, a daughter, died when she was just a few weeks old. And in her journal Mary recounted an incredibly sad dream about this daughter. “Dream that my little baby came to life again; that it had only been cold and that we rubbed it before the fire and lived.”  [Crash Course: Frankenstein]

This is just some background information to add context to your reading. Percey Shelley first met Mary when she was 14, and eloped with her when she was 16 and already pregnant with his child (he was around 24 at the time). Not only that but Percey was married at the time when he eloped with Mary, and his wirst wife did not take it well. 

Harriet (Westbrook) Shelley was Percy Shelley's first wife. While he was still married to her, he ran off with Mary Shelley, leaving Harriet pregnant and alone with their first child. She committed suicide on November 9, 1816 by drowning herself in Serpentine. [x]

As I said these details are all to add context to Mary Shelley’s life while she was writing Frankenstein. A book in which most of the female characters are severely mistreated and harmed. 

There are some pretty feminist critiques to Frankenstein. For instance, the novel clearly shows what harm comes to women (and family and relationships) when men pursue single-minded goals. In fact thanks to Victor’s lack of work life balance pretty much all of the women in this novel die. Victor’s creation of the monster leads to the hanging of the servant Justine the murder of Victor’s bride Elizabeth on their wedding night. [Crash Course: Frankenstein]

To put it as frankly as possible (Haha, get it because frankenstein) there are several points in the novel in which both Victor and Frankenstein act like fuckboys. 

You could easily read the story as one of male entitlement. Victor in the first place, deliberately refers to his bride to be Elizabeth as a possession and says it as a term of affection. 

And when, on the morrow, she presented Elizabeth to me as her promised gift, I, with childish seriousness, interpreted her words literally and looked upon Elizabeth as mine—mine to protect, love, and cherish. All praises bestowed on her I received as made to a possession of my own. We called each other familiarly by the name of cousin. No word, no expression could body forth the kind of relation in which she stood to me—my more than sister, since till death she was to be mine only.

His actions towards Elizabeth in the novel are also, extremely neglectful. Elizabeth spends the novel passively waiting for him to return and marry her, but Victor has a habit of disappearing from her life for long periods at a time with no contact at all in pursuit of his endeavors. (Get it because I’m comparing Victor to Endeavor). 

Elizabeth is someone he feels entitled to own, and entitled to her love (he literally thinks his parents gave him to her) and yet Victor never takes responsibility for Elizabeth and her feelings too wrapped up in his own. When Elizabeth is grieving for the losses of her family, Victor has a tendency to leave her alone to go off to sulk on his own. Elizabeth even pleads multiple times for Victor to come home, to offer some support for the rest of the family with his mere presence and Victor delays these returns home as long as possible. 

“Get well—and return to us. You will find a happy, cheerful home and friends who love you dearly. Your father’s health is vigorous, and he asks but to see you, but to be assured that you are well; and not a care will ever cloud his benevolent countenance.

This treatment also extends to the rest of Victor’s family, who are people he seriously neglects throughout the novel, and also people who are the direct sufferers of the consequences of his actions. His youngest brother is killed, the maid is framed for the murder, Elizabeth dies on the wedding night, Clerval his closest friend is killed, and his father dies soon afterwards of old age / implied grief. 

The monster who Victor creates is also a reflection of him. After knowing the suffering it is to be created as a creature with no family, and no place of belonging he then instructs Victor to make him a woman. A woman that will have no choice but to love him because they will be the only two alone in the world. The monster, also feels entitled to feminine love because he is lonely, with no thought to whether or not the second monster might have feelings, opinions or her own, or might not even like him. 

“You must create a female for me, with whom I can live in the interchange of those sympathies necessary for my being.  This you alone can do; and I demand it of you as a right which you must not refuse.” 

The recurring theme is this: a sense of male entitlement, without a sense of responsibility. What do I mean by Male Entitlement? 

Male entitlement is a product of traditional societal norms. It is cultivated in men as they join a society which usually favors them over the other genders in their careers, relationships, character-standing, and more.   There’s more on it here, and the role of male entitlement in abuse. 

Male entitlement is an attitude where men believe they are entitled to power over others, and/ or ownership of the women and children in their lives. Victor calls Elizabeth a possession given to him, and neglects her throughout most of the book. The monster believes he deserves to have a woman to love him. It’s not masculinity. Masculinity is just masculinity. It’s the belief that they are entitled to power or ownership over others simply because they are men born in a society that favors men. Male entitlement can show up in say, a father who believes he is entitled to the love of his children despite never doing any of the actual work of childrearing and pushing it all on the mother. Believing they deserved to be loved simply for being a father, while being absolutely absent for their lives. GUESS WHAT HAPPENS IN FRANKENSTEIN. 

So, a lot of people interpret Frankenstein as a story of ambition gone wrong, but that interpretation feels like it’s missing something if you don’t include the feminist angle. Frankenstein when doing his mad scientist undergrad bit speculates how he would be a father of a new species. It is specifically, fatherhood accomplished without a mother. That this new species would owe him love. 

A new species would bless me as its creator and source; many happy and excellent natures would owe their being to me. 

An undeniable part of Victor’s motivation is that as the sole creator the child would owe him all of their love. I mean to once again connect this to abuse narratives how many real life parents believe their children have to love them no matter how poorly they treat them? 

No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as I should deserve theirs. 

Victor in the novel wants not only fatherhood, but also motherhood. He wants to create life which in victorian society at the time is the role of the woman. And yet at the same time, he doesn’t want to do any of the actual work of motherhood and the roles typically described to women. 

We can read the novel as an exploration of what happens when men fear, distrust, or devalue women so much that they attempt to reeproduce without them. In some ways Victor is trying to bypass the feminine altogether. He’s creating life without recourse to egg or womb.  [Crash Course: Frankenstein] 

Victor creates, and then proceeds to take no responsibility for his creation. He abandons the child for the most shallow of reasons (because it was ugly and looked scary), then leaves a sentient, thinking creature with no idea who it was, or why it was alive in the middle of the mountains hoping it starves to death on his own so he doesn’t have to deal with it. 

but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart. Unable to endure the aspect of the being I had created, I rushed out of the room and continued a long time traversing my bed-chamber.

Victor is the creatures parent, but takes no responsibility as a parent for raising the creature. In fact the child is punished when they are still an innocent, just for not turning out the way their creator intended. 

Frankenstein is a novel which portrays consistently men who aspire to greatness as described in their society (scientific invention, and in the framing device arctic exploration) but who consistently fail everyone in their lives at the most basic levels. In other words as Lizzo said, “Why men great, till they gotta be great.” 

This is where the fire comes in. The original post talks about dichotomy of fire as something that both helps and harms. Fire is a symbol in this book that can be read two different ways, and I think special context should be given to the subtitle of the story. “The Modern Prometheus”, a story which in classical times is a story of hubris where Prometheus steals fire from the heavens and is punished for it. Hubris in the classical greek sense means that a human acting like they know better than the gods. However, the story has a different interpretation in the Romantic / Enlightenment era where Prometheus is seen as a heroic figure stealing fire away from the gods to give knowledge to mankind. 

Fire in the book represents both. Victor is someone who has hubris, he assumes he’s a father who deserves the love of a child and sole responsbility for the creation of another being (effectively making him god), but abandons the creature literally five minutes after finishing him and makes no real attempt to take any effort in raising what is effectively his child. It’s also a story about Victor having ambitions to be great, and to do what no man has done before him. I don’t think the story emphasizes that ambitions are bad, but rather the dual nature of ambition as something like fire, something that can either warm or harm. 

He came upon a fire “which had been left” by humans (Vol. II, Ch. III), so a human tool left in nature. He was “overcome with delight” and joy, but touching it brought him pain. “How strange, [he thinks], that the same cause could produce such opposite effects!” He has learned the dichotomy of flame – to save and to hurt. [x]

Okay, now that we’re done witht hat extremely long essay on an english novel let’s actually talk about the manga where a goth stuck in his rebellious teenage phase tries to light his dad on fire. 

I’m going to be comparing the novel to Dabi and Endeavor in two aspects. 

Male entitlement, believing you deserve the love of a child without acting responsibly as a father. 

Fire, ambition as something that both helps and burns. 

Victor and Endeavor both are characters that decide to create children for very self serving reasons, and treat their families for the majority of their lives as tools to their own ambition. Endeavor wants a child that will carry out his ambitions for him, that he can live vicariously through. It’s not even an interpretation it’s directly stated text. 

Endeavor’s mad science also literally has him treat the woman in his life as tools to use for his own amibition. He fores a marriage on a woman to use her as an unwilling accessory to his eugenics project. 

It is not specifically a story of ambition got wrong, it’s also a story of neglect and abuse of all the women in his life. Endeavor’s ambitions all center around personal greatness for him. Shoto will prove his worth as a hero, as a mentor to him, as a great father. The fact that his motives are entirely selfish, (Endeavor is not focused on being the best hero he can be, but rather his own desire to be the strongest) is something that has an affect on his family and children. 

Fuyumi, Touya, and Natsuo are literally afterthoughts to Endeavor despite being just as much his children as Shoto. He literally only thinks of Rei in the context of “I needed her to give me a family.” Not only that but he’s also an extremely bad father to the one child that he does take an active role in trying to parent, acting extremely controlling towards Shoto and getting extremely angry whenever Shoto did anything that was outside of Endeavor’s wishes for Shoto to fulfill his ambitions. 

Endeavor just like Victor, inspires to greatness as a man and wants the signifiers of that as held up by society, accomplishment (Endeavor wants to be the number one rank even though he technically has far more resolved cases than All Might and the rank is literally just a number), family, and recognition despite having done none of the work. Once again why men great till they gotta be great. At the start of his arc, Endeavor feels entitled to Shoto’s love and obedience, and a role in his life, despite the fact that he’s hideously abused him for most of his life. 

Endeavor like Victor, also abandons several children for failing to meet his expectations. 

Part of Natsuo’s problem with Endeavor has exactly to do this sense of entitlement, Endeavor practically abandons his kids until they’re in their  early twenties to the point where he wasn’t involved in their lives at all (and also separated them from their mother). Remember another point of the book is that Victor wants sole parenthood, to create life without involvement of a woman. 

Endeavor does the exact same thing. He separates the children from their mother. Then while he is the only parent left in the household and effectively responsible for all of his children, he neglects most of them and completely fails to raise them. 

It’s implied besides trying to teach Shoto to use his quirk, he’s literally pushed all of the housework, and actual parenting you know, labor that is involved in raising a child onto Fuyumi. Fuyumi has cooked most of Shoto’s meals, it’s Fuyumi who attends his school conference in the novels. Endeavor has effectively committed the same crime as Victor, creating life and then running away from it by failing to act in any way as the father to his own children. His sense of entitlement shows in his actions and the way he treats the people around him in his life, he uses them for his own ambitions and they get burned. 

Endeavor is someone who has used all of the women in his life for his ambitions. Think Fuyumi, she grew up desperately wanting a family while having effectively no father and all contact cut off from her mother, and also had to take care of household chores and responsibility for both of her younger brothers. Think Rei, who has literally been institutionalized for ten years, and trauma from her experiences that haunts her to this day. Natsuo is someone who has no father, almost no relationship with his younger brother, and is still mourning his other dead brother. Shoto evens tates directly, he views Endeavor as someone to learn how to use his quirk from but hasn’t viewed him once as a father. Endeavor’s never been present as a father in Shoto’s life, despite controlling most of it and giving him all of the attention. He had ambition to pass his quirk from father to son, but never actually acted as a father. 

Endeavor’s treatment of his family, and his reflection for his past actions is also shown using this metaphor for fire. All Might’s ambition to become the strongest hero for the sake of a more peaceful society, is also represented by fire. Especially a flame that he passes from one person to the next, that Nana passed to him, and he passed to Deku.  

Endeavor is almost always associated with the more violent aspect of fire, when he thinks of the harm he’s done to his family it’s always juxtaposed to the fire on his face. 

(The right side fire, the left side Rei’s suffering face.)

Whereas the more gentle associations with fire are almost made with Shoto. Once again the novel of Frankenstein doesn’t decry ambition, it merely explores the consequences of ambitions that were extremely self-interested from the start. Endeavor only wanted to be strong for his own sake. Shoto who wanted to become a hero like All Might who would never make his mother cry, and All Might who wanted to create a safer society are people with strong ambitions that are associated with gentler flames. 

2. Dabi and Frankenstein’s Monster

Sins of the Father or Sins of the Fathers derives from biblical references primarily in the books Exodus, Deuteronomy, and Numbers to the sins or iniquities of one generation passing to another. Basically what it means is its a narrative trope where children are punished or suffer consequences for the action of their fathers. It can also mean that children inevitably reflect what their fathers have done to them, and even resemble their fathers. 

Everything the monster does is a reflection of Frankentstein’s actions. Everything Dabi does is both a consequence and a reflection of Endeavor’s actions. They are both written as sons to be narrative foils to their creator. If anything Dabi is even more of a frankenstein’s monster than Shoto, because a key element to the narrative is that Frankenstein was abandoned for not being perfect according to his creator’s wishes, he was punished for a defect. 

Touya just like frankenstein is a defective creation. One who suffers all of the consequences for what are his father’s sins. Endeavor deliberately took risks with his eugenics experiment that the child might have a quirk not compatible with their body, but it’s the child and not the parent who suffers all of the consequences. Toya literally died - whether he faked his death or not has yet to be revealed but he lost his home and family at a young age, spent most of his life homeless, and has to continually make use of a quirk that burns his entire body. Whether he wants them or not, his father’s sins are pushed onto Dabi. 

The flame that Endeavor is so keen on passing to his children, has literally permanently disabled Dabi, and will negatively effect him for the rest of his life. Consequences that Endeavor ought to suffer are passed onto Dabi instead. Dabi is burned by Endeavor’s actions towards him. 

This is once again something deliberately brought up by the book Frankenstein. The doctor creates life, takes absolutely no responsibility and leaves his creature to starve to death in the wilderness, and then the first time they meet again calls upon his creation to die. 

“I expected this reception,” said the dæmon. “All men hate the wretched; how, then, must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things! Yet you, my creator, detest and spurn me, thy creature, to whom thou art bound by ties only dissoluble by the annihilation of one of us. You purpose to kill me. How dare you sport thus with life?

The decision to create life irresponsibly was Victor’s, but the  person who suffers the brunt end of the consequences is not Victor, but rather the creature itself who just like Dabi has no home, and is constistently hurt by the environment around him. 

Dabi is also a symbol of the worst possible aspects of Endeavor’s ambitions. 

To compare Victor and the monster briefly. Victor

Has family / friends 

Home / Money / Wealth

Arrogant / Well Educated 

Self-Destructive 

A tool

The Monster

Abandoned

Ignorant (at first)

Homeless

A tool, but a more sympathetic one.

As you can see they are societally complete opposites. This can be said for Endeavor as well, he still gets to keep his family, his place in society despite what he’s done, he’s wealthy, succesful and well-liked in his community. Dabi is permanently disabled because of something his father did, is legally dead, homeless, separated from his family, and is a villain. 

While they are completely opposite in status, the monster and Victor are eerily similiar. They are both highly intelligent people who carry a strong ambition within them. The Monster basically learns speech, and reading all on his own, and as soon as he can be becomes as well-read as possible. 

Fortunately the books were written in the language, the elements of which I had acquired at the cottage; they consisted of Paradise Lost, a volume of Plutarch’s Lives, and the Sorrows of Werter. The possession of these treasures gave me extreme delight; I now continually studied and exercised my mind upon these histories, whilst my friends were employed in their ordinary occupations.

The monster also shares several of his father’s sin. He repeats the sins that have been done on to him, in the name of vengeance. Frankenstein’s claim is that he was hurt when he was still an innocent, punished before he had done anything wrong, but he also does the exact same thing to VIctor’s youngest brother killing him when he was just a child. 

Victor’s worst sin by far is selfish entitlement, forgetting to consider the feelings of his creation. Yet, the monster knowing how much he suffered by just being created in a world where there’s no one else like him also demands Victor create another creature. This is out of his own personal sense of entitlement, he believes he’s entitled to have someone love him, and if he had this he would be a good person again. 

He believes quite literally he deserves an Eve to share his loneliness in. His own personal feelings of grief and hurt matter more than those of: one the people he kills, and two a potential woman who would be created only to love him. 

But it was all a dream; no Eve soothed my sorrows nor shared my thoughts; I was alone. I remembered Adam’s supplication to his Creator. But where was mine? He had abandoned me, and in the bitterness of my heart I cursed him.

The monster also feels entitled to punish Frankenstein, but in this reccuring sins of the fathers he punishes people who are completely innocent of the crime that Frankenstein did to him and have nothing to do with his creation, just to get back at Frankenstein. Including, an innocent boy, a maid who he framed for murder, Frankenstein’s friend, and also Elizabeth. 

Dabi inevitably reflects his father and the environment he was raised in, and resembles him. Dabi who was raised by a quirk supremacist and thrown out because his quirk wasn’t good enough, kills people he doesn’t find worthy. Dabi’s methods are almost entirely based around his his individual strength because he was raised to believe that was the only good part of him. The same way Dabi was thrown out like burnable trash for failing to live up to his standards, Dabi will enact harsh vigilante justice and kill minor crimminals and heroes who fail to live up to his justice. 

Just like for the monster’s actions in punishing Victor, Dabi is called to consider the feelings of family’s of the people he kills. He is also punishing people completely unrelated to what happened to him, in his efforts to hold his father accountable. 

Dabi reflects his father, and quirk society the same things that burned him. He continually believes he has to be the strongest individually, accomplish everything on his own, and spurn others around him. Even those who try to make genuine connections with him like the league of villains. Dabi believes that the world has to be changed with the strength of ambitions of a single person, and his ambitions are far more important than the sense of family within the league. 

Dabi effectively distances himself from two families, the found family of the league, and also his original biological family. Think about how much it might save Natsuo to lean that his brother is still alive. Shoto at least, doesn’t want to see his father roasted alive on live television. 

Dabi’s ambitions are as self destructive as his fathers, as he only knows how to fight by completely burning his body up. He harms himself over and over again by using his quirk to try to change things. 

3. Endeavor and Ujiko

The book ultimately poses the question who is responsible for the actions of the monster, Frankenstein or the Monster itself. However, I think an element missed in a lot of analysis is that the mosnter accepts that most of what he has done is wrong, he just wants people to be held equally accountable for their actions. 

“You, who call Frankenstein your friend, seem to have a knowledge of my crimes and his misfortunes. But in the detail which he gave you of them he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured wasting in impotent passions. For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires. They were for ever ardent and craving; still I desired love and fellowship, and I was still spurned. Was there no injustice in this? Am I to be thought the only criminal, when all humankind sinned against me? Why do you not hate Felix, who drove his friend from his door with contumely? Why do you not execrate the rustic who sought to destroy the saviour of his child? 

The monster’s problem is not that he shouldn’t be held accountable for his actions, but rather that he’s the only one whose ever held accountable for his actions. The Monster also spends most of the narrative being treated as a monster, whereas Frankenstein faces no real consequences for what he’s done from the people around him, never loses his standing in society, never is cast out for his wrongs. Frankenstein continually avoids any and all responsibility towards the monster up until his death, and only takes responsibility in violently trying to kill his creation. 

There are also oppurtunities for Frankenstein to take responsibility, which he chooses not to do anything. An innocent maid is about to be executed for a crime that Frankenstein knows she did not commit, and instead of trying to help her by explaining to everyone his creation of the creature, and also that the creature is likely responsible for the murder he says nothing. While not responsible for the women’s death, he is culpable in that he could have taken action to save her but didn’t. 

Franketnstein’s actions are again and again always to run away from the monster and avoid responsibility. From the beginning he runs away from the monster due to it simply being ugly. Both the monster (and also Toya) were punished when they were innocent children who had not committed any kind of crime, by the person who was responsible for raising them, educating them, and giving them everything they needed to become happy adults. 

“Remember that I am thy creature; I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed. Everywhere I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded. I was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous.”

While Frankenstein and the Monster both entitled, their reasons for entitlement come from entirely different places. Frankenstein’s comes from his own arrogance, believing that he’s destined to do great things, and be a man of status and accomplishment. Why men great till they gotta be great. 

The monster believes he’s entitled to a family, because his father abandoned him, and he’s been homeless most of his life. The monster is violent, but only after he’s endured violence from people several times over. The monster is ultimately a victim of circumstance, and Frankenstein is the one who created that circumstance. 

Considering Frankenstein and the monster are foils, there’s a reason that Frankenstein fears and abhors the monster before it’s even awake. It’s because the monster reflects the ugliness of his own actions. The ugliness in himself that he is completely unable to face. He is a negative character foil in a character sense, and a shadow created by Frankenstein’s actions. 

The monster shows Victor what he is, selfish, entitled, and violent. Victor can’t ever confront the monster, because he can never confront those flaws within himself. 

Dabi is a reflection of Endeavor’s violent, abusive nature. He is also the direct consequence of all of Endeavor’s actions. So the question is, has Endeavor confronted the monstrous side of his actions? The answer is most likely no, because despite doing things as bad as any villain in the story he still views himself as the hero.

Shoto even tells us directly. Endeavor the hero and Endeavor the father are so different they’re almost like two different people. Endeavor continuing to be a hero on the television and coming home to his family is not taking repsonsibility for his actions, not truly, because he still hasn’t accepted the worst of what he’s done. 

In the narrative Endeavor currently feels guilt, and also a desire to atone but we’re also told again and again that atoning means taking responsibility and carrying everything. No building a house where his family doesn’t have to be around him and taking steps to distance himself isn’t taking full resposnibility because Dabi is still running around. Dabi is the embodiment of the absolute worst of Endeavor’s actions, the toxic environment that literally killed Toya, burned Shoto, and hospitalized Rei. I would say Endeavor still hans’t seen the worst of his actions because he still views himself as the hero, just the hero who has made mistakes. We’re shown this in foiling, the same way Fankenstein rejects the monster, Endeavor doesn’t recognize Dabi even though he is literally his own son. 

The strongest evidence of this is Endeavor and Ujiko’s foiling. They are two characters who have a lot in common, they both used children as experiments in their attempts to create stronger quirks including their own family members (Ujiko experimented on his own nephew). 

They’re both men of incredible wealth and status in society, who have deliberately used their status to cover up their cimes. Endeavor used his status to hospitalize his wife for years, he used his status to marry her in the first place, Ujiko uses all of his money and resources to find people to experiment on, and deliberately takes advantage of people in need by using his orphanage and hospitals to farm for materials to make his Nomus with. 

They’re both motivated by their own personal ambitions. They also feel entitled, Ujiko’s specific issue is that the scientific community failed to give him the respect and funding for his research that he thought he was owed. 

The source of Endeavor’s pain is that no matter how hard he works he’ll never become the strongest. The source of Ujiko’s pain is that nobody recognizes his work and achievements in his scientific community. They both want their hard work to turn into achievement, for their efforts to pay off, which again is not a bad thing until they get angry when they’re not given what they think they’re owed. 

Ujiko and Endeavor both become so desperate to accomplish their ambitions that they manipulate people to become tools to fulfill their ambitions for them. Shoto has to carry on his legacy, and learn to use his flame side like Endeavor always wanted. They both create children that they are technically the parent of, but don’t act as fathers. Endeavor is responsible for Fuyumi, Natsuo, Touya, and Todoroki but fails to live up to that responsibility. Ujiko creates the Nomu, which just like the monster in Frankenstein are new life created from the corpses of other people, and then just uses them and disposes them as tools. 

Ujiko even utters a line that is incredibly similiar to Endeavor in the regards to the way they treat Shigaraki and Shoto. 

However how does Endeavor react to Ujiko? Does he understand the harm that he’s done in a new light? No, he falls back on his hero narrative. I am the hero, and Ujiko is the utlimate evil. 

Endeavor so far, like Frankenstein, fails to truly confront the monster. Even when he finally realizes the destructive nature of his desire to be stronger than anyone else when he fights the Nomu, his response is to burn it alive. What is Endeavor’s response? To play hero, and defeat a villain. 

The thing about jungian shadow arcs is that you don’t destroy your shadow, you reintegrated it.  Endeavor can’t symbolically murder his past self because that won’t make his past actions go away, he can only accept them. The question now is: will he do the same thing to Dabi? 

When confronted with who Dabi is and his role in creating Dabi, what will Endeavor’s choice be? Is he going to play the hero, and destroy the villain he sees in front of him. The same way he did with the Nomu, the same way he did with Ujiko, the same way he’s trying to do with Shigaraki (who is, you know a heavy parallel to his own son Toya, and another abused child).

Will Endeavor act as a hero, or the remorseful father he also is? That choice is utlimately what Endeavor’s entire character is written around, does he want to finally be a father or does he want to keep being endeavor the hero? What is more important to him his own ambitions as a hero, or the people he’s harmed? 

Just like Victor, Endeavor’s entire arc revolves around Dabi. He is a hero directly responsible for the creation of a villain. Dabi would not exist if it were not for Endeavor’s direct actions. Not only that but his future will be determined by how he chooses to interact with Dabi once he knows the truth. Endeavor cannot truly take responsibility until he takes responsibility for Dabi.

[stormxblooded]

⤷ ( essie. gmt. 26. she/her. ) the courts offer bread and salt to cassandra seaworth, nee baratheon of house baratheon. many say that the twenty seven year old ruling lady of cape wrath is known to be determined and lively, though ill tongues whisper that she is stubborn and tempestuous. when her is uttered , one is reminded of a lone figure standing on the side of a cliff as waves crash below, dark eyes dancing with mirth, a sudden strike of lightening illuminating the sky, a discarded box of jewels left abandoned and untouched . may she be blessed and protected in this war of crowns. ( fc: sophie cookson )

Hi All !! I’m Essie, and I’m so excited to be writing with you all. Below the cut is some information on my little hell-raiser Cassandra, as well as wanted connections. I’m going to pop a plotting call on the D*scord when I get in, but if you would rather I messaged you here, please send me an IM! 

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: Cassandra Seaworth, Formerly Cassandra Baratheon before her marriage.  Nicknames: Cassie (a childhood nickname), Sandy (by her friends) Age: 27 Occupation: Ruling Lady of Cape Wrath (Formerly a lady of Storm’s End) Religion: Faith of the Seven Character Tropes: Dating What Daddy Hates, The Fashionista, Jerk With a Heart of Gold, Almighty Mom, Deadpan Snarker Character Inspiration: Ariel (The Little Mermaid), Princess Margaret (The Crown), Lydia Bennett (Pride and Prejudice), Molly Weasley (Harry Potter) Personality Type: ESFP Alignment: Chaotic Good Enneagram: Type 8 - The Challenger  Deadly Sin: Wrath Heavenly Virtue: Diligence

FAMILY

Spouse: Sir Seaworth, a landed knight and wanted connection, married for seven years  Sons: Devan Seaworth (aged 7), Steffon Seaworth (Aged 4) Daughters: Marya Seaworth (aged 4), Lucinda Seaworth (3 months) Father: Steffon Baratheon  Step-Mother: Araela Baratheon Siblings: Katherynne Baratheon, Marina Baratheon, TBD Baratheons

BACKGROUND

tw for mentions of pregnancy and childbirth

Born a Baratheon, high expectations were placed on Cassandra almost from birth. A healthy pregnancy and a remarkably easy birth resulted in a sweet babe with a head full of dark hair. For the first few years of her life, Cassandra was a merry, happy-go-lucky child, though her natural inquisitiveness forced more attentive supervision than most. As she grew older, her penchant for trouble, cultivated by a stubborn refusal to do anything she didn’t want to do and determination to behave how she pleased, emerged in full force. 

Cassandra’s trouble making was a concern for the Baratheons, who hoped to make an advantageous marriage for their daughter. They worked hard to try and turn her into a respectable lady, to stop playing pranks on the servants, to bite her tongue and choke back the cheeky remarks she often spat. All attempts were fruitless, though, and all they could do was pray to The Seven that she would grow out of it. They had more success with her education. Whilst she had no skill at needlework or singing, deeming them a waste of her time, Cassandra was bright, and excelled in academics. She has a talent for numbers, able to do complicated sums in her mind, and a photographic memory, allowing her to recall the history of Westeros, a particular interest of hers, in great detail.

As she came of age, The Baratheons began to try and arrange a match for their daughter. By this time, her personality had developed into something far more forceful. Acid-tongued when she felt like it, and dryly sarcastic always, she seldom smiled. Despite this, the Baratheons were hopeful. Cassandra was beautiful and talented, a gifted dancer, and could, when she put her mind to it, be incredibly witty and charming. A number of noble houses were approached, with the Great Houses given precedence. 

Cassandra had no intentions of following through with her families plans. Aged 20, before any wedding could take place, she eloped with her current husband. The Seaworths were not lords, but landed knights, and the marriage was way below her station. However, she was deeply in love, and a few months pregnant, when they wed, and for her, there was no other option. 

Since her marriage, Cassandra has kept her distance from the Baratheons. She misses them, but the scandal of her actions still follows her, and for the love of her siblings, she stays away, visiting rarely. It pains her - she wants her children to know their aunt and uncles, but she also wants to protect them from feeling less-than. She’s a mother of four, now - her eldest, Devan, twins Steffon and Marya, and the newborn Lucinda, and is heavily involved in her children’s upbringing. She fed them at her own breast, even the twins, and carries out most of their education herself. 

Under her watch, Cape Wrath has grown prosperous in a way it never has been before. She’s proud of what she’s done, and feels that it vindicates her choices somewhat, but as much as she loves her life, she can’t help but feel a tinge of regret. She loves her family, and doesn’t regret giving up everything for love, but there are times where she wishes she could have given her children more.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Former Betrothed: Before she married, Cassandra was engaged to this character. Her elopement effectively ended that. If not a Great House, this character would have to be from a house that is quite rich and powerful. At no point was there any love between them, and the marriage was entirely arranged by their families. There are two ways I can see this playing out. The first is that they were blindsided by her running away, and angry at the embarrassment it caused. For the second, the two of them have a good relationship and remain friends to this day. He was as against the match as she was, and actually helped her make her escape and wished her luck on the way. 

Childhood Friends: What it says on the tin tbh, childhood friends who grew up with Cassandra. Since her wedding, they may have drifted apart or intentionally decided to keep their distance due to the scandal it caused, resulting in a bit of an estrangement between the two, or else they may be a fierce defender of her choices. 

Enemies: Cassandra leans towards sarcasm, but at times can be harshly blunt and downright insulting. This character has been on the receiving end of her less pleasant personality traits, and the two clash madly and cannot stand each other. 

Trade Partners: Under Cassandra’s watch, the Seaworths have risen to prominence, using their skill at sailing to deliver goods all around Westeros. She has an extensive network of trade partners that she utilises to help build a legacy for her children. 

Misc. Friendships: I honestly just love all kinds of friendship connections! Especially F/F connections, competitive friends, unlikely friends where opposites attract, friends who don’t really like each other all that much but pretend they do while making little jibes at each other, or platonic M/F friendships would all be very much welcomed and adored! 

[flusteredmountainman]

Muriel and wanting things

I’m just gonna get on my soap box and analyse a little the specific paid scene where Muriel talks about wanting things. A lot of people I saw reacting went straight for a rather lusty interpretation (which i lowkey hate lol) But I think there’s So much evidence in other character’s routes for how Muriel Needs this slow place and why he feels the way he does about himself and his own desires. 

Beyond the fact that we already know Muriel is traumatised and flinches even at gentle touch, in pretty much every other route that we’ve seen so far Muriel largely has what he wants and ultimately needs ignored in favour of other people’s desires.

The first and biggest thing that happened in all routes (because it’s BP - before prologue) is what we found out in one of his last chapters - that the deal Asra made to bring MC back from the dead at the masquerade required all of the other arcana representations to make deals. Granted, Lucio would have likely forced people to be part of it anyway - but we know it didn’t really work for Lucio because not all representations of the arcana were present. Nadia’s sisters and other family weren’t at the previous masq. - so the ritual was incomplete. We see in a flashback during the prologue a small scene in which Muriel asks Asra not to go to the palace - even this early in the piece Asra was researching how to bring MC back (and Muriel knew this) - and Asra ignored his concerns/needs, prioritising his own desires to bring his love back from the dead. 

We can then assume that the only reason Muriel came to the ritual was because he was worried about Asra (as is usually his motivation for doing most things). Again, he has to make a deal on Asra’s behalf and effectively sacrifices future chances at happiness so that Asra can be happy. He convinces himself that it’s a gift because really he felt he had no choice in the matter - if he actually had his wishes taken into account and was listened to, then he never would have been forced into the position where he needed to make the deal in the first place. It’s easier to bear the consequences of an action if you feel you made the decision - not that you were helpless in how things eventuated. 

This is why he doesn’t like MC when he meets them in any route - as I’ve mentioned in previous posts - he can’t blame Asra for not considering his needs because Asra is the only person in his life. It’s easier to blame, dislike, and even hate other people (MC, Julian) for making Asra and by extension himself unhappy than to confront Asra about the ways he ignores what Muriel wants and needs - and it’s not something that Muriel could ever bring himself to do because to acknowledge that he’s a person with wants/needs is to acknowledge the injustice and pain he’s experienced - which is too large to bear alone.

We also see this in some of the LI’s routes (as a heads up I’m not up to date with Portia or Lucio so tell me if I’m talking shit lol). In Asra’s route he becomes fixated on the MC again - the object of his adoration, and his relationship with Muriel largely falls by the wayside. Muriel puts himself in a situation of extreme emotional stress by reliving his trauma to save Asra - because again, he’d do anything for Asra - and when he flees the Colosseum, Asra only sends Faust after him. Again, as someone who’d known Muriel for so many years, Asra should have known that Muriel needed comfort, but he’s more concerned with how MC is feeling.Even if he wants comfort, affection and love - he could never ask for it - and he’s learned it’s best not to feel those things and get his hopes up. People can’t disappoint you if you have no expectations for them. Muriel stays lonely in this route, and occasionally talks to Asra/MC but it very much separate from their lives.  

Julian’s route is the worst for our poor Muriel - who is only seen in the hermit chapter and in his reversed ending briefly - Asra becomes part of the found family you’ve cultivated with Julian - and again Muriel’s needs take a back seat.

Listen I adore Asra but so many times in alternate routes I just wanna yell because Muriel only has Asra in his life, and if the one person who cares about him as much as he cares about them is not treating him as well as he deserves, then he has nothing.    

Nadia’s route is the best so far - she is patient and loving, encouraging him to come out of his shell and connect with other people even in a small way. Asra stops fixating on MC and pays attention to Muriel’s needs, and the two of them end up together. 

Even looking back to the way Muriel grew up - living on the streets is a hard life, and beyond the trauma he experienced in the arena, poverty affords individuals little choice. He was “abandoned” by his parents, he was forced into his trauma, and then forced into his deal. Muriel is someone who feels (for good reason) that he’s had pretty much no choice or control over the direction his life has gone in - when he does try and be less passive, it goes ignored and he ends up more hurt than he would be if he’d stayed silent. He doesn’t feel like he’s *allowed* to want things because the universe seems to tell him over and over again that he’s not deserving of love and happiness, that he only exists to be used and discarded and that he should just turn off his feelings to avoid the worst of the pain. 

None of that is undone overnight. If we’ve seen him only just being able to tolerate and begin initiating intimacy after several weeks - that’s the pace we can expect him to move at. He’s endured a lifetime of trauma and at this point even if he Did want to bone MC it would be a long, long time off. He still hates the way he looks and doesn’t know how to handle pretty much any comment on his appearance (which like are pretty frequent because he Is a handsome man), so being comfortable enough to be in a sheer robe in front of MC is a huge step - but that doesn’t mean it’s inherently going to be erotic from the get-go. 

[huanwanchens]

XiCheng Fic Recs

Fic recs featuring XiCheng with some side pairings. I decided to do this list so I can keep track. Basically, these fics are extra long coz the bitch in me doesn’t like to read short fics lol. All are complete works though. I hope this helps my fellow XiCheng shippers! I am a bitch for XiCheng and I am proud? LOL

Little Lotus by RennieOnIceCream (XiCheng mentions of WangXian)

Summary: If one asked Lan Xichen about having children a few years ago, he would’ve said the idea of a family was nice, but it was entirely impossible for him.

Having the leader of the Jiang Sect for a partner, he should’ve known -- impossibilities were always achievable.

Mpreg XiCheng fic that is light and fluffy! This is more like the journey of pregnancy featuring XiCheng.

Wish That You Were Here by Achromos (XiCheng, JingYi)

Summary: Ever since he was young, Jingyi knew that he was missing a parent. The thing that bothered him the most about this was that his a-die was clearly suffering and lonely. At first, he had to settle for stories of his fuqin - the First Jade of Lan, a beautiful and powerful cultivator. But then he was sent to study in the Cloud Recesses, where he met the other side of his family. He was determined to find out why his parents won't speak to each other; what happened fifteen years ago. How he can perhaps mend the rift between them.

A fic where Jingyi is XiCheng’s love child. So much angst and it hurts.

Broken Mirror by akanezora (XiCheng AU side WangXian)

Summary: When Jiang Cheng left Lan Xichen life, he brought a secret with him. Years later, Lan Xichen caught up with that secret. (Jingyi as Xicheng Lovechild)

A fic where Jingyi is XiCheng’s love child in Modern AU. This is just so cute with a little bit of angst on both sides also, WangXian is a side pair here.

Being An Uncle Is Anything But Easy by TheWildJoker (XiCheng)

Summary: Jiang Wanyin, Jiang Cheng, Sandu Shengshou, uncle of Jin Ling, brother of Jiang Yanli. He held many titles, and worked with many different hats, but the thing in his life that was missing most was someone to assist him in his struggle at raising a barely month old, orphaned child. Cue the entrance of the eldest jade of Lan, prim, proper, and loved by all. When first met with the worn out Jiang Cheng his inability to leave others alone while they're struggling most kicked in, and leads to a lot of confusion, bad decisions, and then finally a chance for the both of them to be healed from wounds of their past.

Aaah, I love this fic so much. Basically, it started when Jiang Cheng was landed with the responsibility of raising A-Ling because he just refused or rather, he just didn’t trust Jin Guangyao with the upbringing of Jin Ling. Also, some cute A-Yuan and A-Ling interaction for those who love ZhuiLing innocence.

Never Had I Ever by Kicchin (XiCheng side WangXian/NieYao)

Summary: Nie Mingjue is almost certain that Jin Guangyao has an ulterior motive for dating his best friend, Lan Xichen. However despite voicing his concerns, his best friend seems unconvinced and Lan Xichen continues to date the said man. Unable to give up just yet, Nie Mingjue tries a different tactic--convincing his best friend the man is not the right person for him by setting him up. Fortunately for him, Wei Wuxian's youngest brother is very much single and seems to be just the kind of person his best friend needs. Can Jiang Cheng truly change Lan Xichen's mind, or will Nie Mingjue's plan is a disaster from the beginning?

A Modern AU - University style fic wherein Jiang Cheng is a freshman and Xichen is just a dork who falls in love with unsuspecting Jiang Cheng lol. This is funny but it has that tooth-decaying element XD Also, drunk Xichen is always chaotic but can be so sweet.

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by messenger18 (XiCheng side WangXian)

Summary: Jiang Cheng is jaded, bitter and miserable. Lan Xichen isn't sure he can ever trust anyone again. They've always been at the periphery of each other's lives, perpetually visible but never touching, and it seems it's going to stay that way. Then Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui fall in love, and everything changes.

Thrown together as the only single men in a family full of couples, neither is exactly happy about their situation. But when two lonely people find each other, sometimes they can be a little less lonely together.

A slow burn fic that involves awkward meetings, building friendship, humor and fluff that you don’t have any choice but to read more lol. But I strongly recommend this one for XiCheng fans!

葬花/Zàng huā by CrystallizedPen (XiCheng Mpreg)

Summary: One day, Sect Leader Lan just disappeared, no one knew where he went, nor why he left, not even the people closest to him knew. He left behind his sword, his token, and his forehead ribbon. He left behind everything except the silver bell that was given to him by a person that he loved, and whom he thought would love him too. Their love was beautiful like a blooming flower. But, apparently he was wrong. He should have buried this love deep inside his heart, like burying a flower that was never meant to bloom.

Heavy angst XiCheng fic that expanded for 10 years of waiting coz of some intervention. I just love angsty elements in this and Xichen is well characterized in this fic! Strongly recommended!

Monotone by seredemia (WangXian and XiCheng)

Summary: Wei Wuxian died. Wei Wuxian died and he never came back, not after thirteen years, or a hundred, or a thousand. The year is 2019 and Lan Wangji is still here, having reached the highest point of cultivation that has gifted him with immortality. It's supposed to be a gift, an honour, yet to him it's nothing but a curse. Wei Wuxian is dead, and life is colourless. Lan Wangji ghosts through time, simply living each day in monotone.That is, until he meets a man who has the same face, same name, same smile as Wei Wuxian. Suddenly, there's colour and hope back in his life—but it's not long until he realises Wei Wuxian in this timeline has not escaped the sorrow that plagued his past self.Maybe history really does repeat itself after all.

THIS IS THE GREATEST. Immortal Xichen and Wangji in search of happiness. I certainly love the dynamics and interaction of XiCheng pair in here. Contains heavy angst, self-harm and hurt and you’d get a lot of emotional rollercoaster on this one! READ THIS GUYS, YOU WON’T REGRET IT! Unfortunately, the writer took down her work in A03 for personal reasons but she provided alternative links where you can read this. (Thank goodness for that.)

The Misadventures of Secretary Jiang by rollo (XiCheng mentions of WangXian)

Summary: When the competent Secretary Jiang gave his two weeks notice all of a sudden, CEO Lan XiChen is forced to switch up his long game.

Will Secretary Jiang ever notice that he’s not just the CEO’s Secretary?

This fic is hilarious as fuck. Full of humor and mishaps between XiCheng pair. Wanna see a different side of Xichen? Like the clingy, pouty ones - well this one is for you! I’ve just recently started the series called What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim and thank goodness, the author didn’t make Xichen as vain and narcissistic as the original character but all in all, if you want a light, honest to goodness fic, then I recommend this one for you!

I’ll Bind You To Me by yunkarin (XiCheng mentions of Married WangXian)

Summary: Jiang Cheng is the president of Yunmeng Cosmetics. Lan Xichen is the president of Gusu Pharmaceuticals. He and Lan Xichen have a complicated relationship, where they separate business and pleasure. How far are you willing to go to bind me to you?

A very sexy XiCheng fic with lots of sexy time. Insatiable Xichen is hot btw. If you want some kinks and smut filled read, well this one is for you!

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWonderingHeart (XiCheng)

Summary: Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach. It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)

Oh goodness, I love this one so much with innocent Jiang Cheng with the human world but still has a potty mouth lol. Mermaid AU wherein they met as children and continued their friendship until they turn into lovers. This is so sweet with angst, of course. Strongly-recommended!

My own fics (If you guys want lol shameless promotion)

Jin Ling’s Dating Guides for His Stupid Uncles (XiCheng/WangXian)

A work-in-progress wherein Jin Ling tries to matchmake his uncles to his best friend’s parents - the Lan brothers. However, danger is looming upon their family and they must solve it before it gets out of hand.

a way to his heart is through his stomach (XiCheng side WangXian)

A feisty cook joins the team by request. How far can he go without falling for the charm of the restaurant's assistant manager, Lan Xichen? And what’s this? They’re roommates too? Oh, fun.

Follow the journey of the gang as they go on with their lives as interns in the hospitality world for a year - the chaotic life of living

Another work-in-progress wherein the boys are in the hospitality industry.

I will add more works on this list as I go on reading. I better thank the quarantine that I can binge read yummy XiCheng fics. lol

[chershare]

Snippet from Discord 29

On Ao3

Fluttering his fan as he stood shoulder to shoulder - well, nearly - with his father, Huaisang watched with amusement as children studied each other.

Lan Xichen was wide eyed and sweet with the scowling Nie Mingjue. Lan Wangji was wide eyed and stunned with chatty little Nie Huaisang.

Both of his little Lan looked to be tentatively enjoying themselves after the flight over on one of Huaisang's fans. The array work on that aspect had been tricky, but he'd managed the enlargement and carrying these two wasn't that hard on his golden core.

Oh, they were having fun, and both lonely sets of brother's were blossoming.

Adorable.

"Your suitors are here," rumbled Nie Qiuheng from above. "And they seem quite ruffled."

"Let them stew," he said sweetly in answer. "At least Lan Qiren hurt the boys' feelings, and Wen Ruohan was no help."

"Mm. As you say."

Nie Qiuheng looked entirely too amused at this, and Huaisang couldn't remember ever seeing him like this as a child. The difference treatment for Qi Deviation made was astounding, and he was grateful for it. Even before that once future Wen Ruohan had shattered Hekai, his father had been fading.

It was a relief to know that neither thing would come to pass now, that the Nie didn't need to live short, too fast lives.

"Fenrong is bringing them over."

Oh, that sneaky little bastard!

Nie Xun, courtesy Fenrong, was his older cousin twice removed on his father's side. He liked to cause problems on purpose for people he liked, because he found their flailing amusing and cute. Much of his remembered childhood involved the man picking on him to rile him up, and teaching Mingjue.

He'd died not long after his father in the original timeline, all of nineteen and missing an eye that had gone septic.

The young man's amber eyes - both - glinted in brief amusement before he saluted briskly and left the two outsider cultivators standing awkwardly staring at Nie Huaisang. Indeed, they were disheveled and rushed looking, and Huaisang felt a flash if worry for the redness of Lan Qiren's eyes.

Had he been crying?

Fluttering his fan faster, he regarded the men who stood silent, awkward before his assessing gaze. His father pressed a large hand to his shoulder in comfort before descending to speak to the children.

For a man that Huaisang barely remembered, Nie Qiuheng was very good at reassurance.

Also, Wangji liked to hang off of his arm, now that little Huaisang had introduced him to the game.

As seemed to be the pattern with his would be lovers, Wen Ruohan took the lead.

"Nie Huaisang," he paused for a moment before closing intense eyes and stepping forward to slide to his knees before him. "Please forgive us - I did not know the full extent of the history and Qiren," he paused glancing at the pale Lan almost helplessly. "He was too close to the situation."

Meeting tired gold eyes, he took in the fragility behind the stoic mien, took in the sharp pinch to normally pretty Lan lips. He looked at the ever so slightly tucked chin and the long fingered hand folded over each other with white knuckles and split cuticles above red chapped fingertips.

How long had he played the guqin, for that to have happened? How hard had he tried to calm himself with Lan music?

Folding his fan, he stepped passed Wen Ruohan at his feet to tilt that elegantly cut jawline up with soft fingertips. He looked into slightly bruised and reddened eyes, into the weariness there, and felt sorrow.

"He went back, didn't he?" Huaisang asked quietly, already knowing the answer. "The second you turned from him, he went back into seclusion."

The tight hold on his expression broke, sweet lips trembling and brows furrowing as the Lan struggled against his emotions. As he tries to fight what he thought was weakness and not simple human grief.

"Yes," he rasped, blinking rapidly, leaning down slightly towards Huaisang like a drooping flower towards water. "He... Left."

As if saying the words had broken some final string, Lan Qiren lifted a hand to shield his eyes. Ashamed of the heartbreak he felt at the abandonment of his older brother.

"This is not the Cloud Recesses," tucking his fan into his sash, he cradled the man's face in his hands, not uncaring of the tears that stained him. "And we do not shame the shedding of tears and the burdens of emotions in Qinghe."

"Qiren," Wen Ruohan looked somewhat lost but also determined, eyes burning with love and delicate hope. "Qiren let go, please."

"Uncle?"

Small, familiar voices tainted with hesitant hope were what broke the final too tight cutting string that held Lan Qiren together. His knees buckled like he's lost all strength and he pressed his face into Huaisang's stomach, hiding in silks and clawing wounded hands into his back.

He trembled, silent, but his Qi was full of lament, of grief and hurt long repressed by stern rules he'd used to hide from himself.

Huaisang wondered in the back of his mind, if the reason he had always enforced the rules of Gusu Lan so stringently was because of the hurt his brother and once lover had caused him. To be honest, at this point in time he didn't care.

He just wanted to give him solace.

"Uncle!" cried two little voices in alarm, but the low indistinguishable rumble of Nie Qiuheng held them back.

Sliding his fingers into silky dark hair while carefully avoiding that hair ribbon, he shared a pained look with Wen Ruohan.

"I just want my brother back," the man rasped out, voice watery. "I just wanted him back. I didn't mean to scare the children, to hurt them."

"I know," he soothed. "I know. You love those two like your own, and that's what makes you afraid and push them away. You don't want to be left behind again, to be forgotten. So you push them away first, as if it would make it hurt less."

Tipping Lan Qiren's head back, he smiled with remembered, familiar pain.

"But you hurt more than yourself doing these things, Lan Qiren. Those boys don't know their father, they know their Uncle. If you stumble, afraid, don't regress, don't fall back on order and rules," bending down, Huaisang pressed his forehead to the Lan's crown. "Children are more than books and paper and duty. Set it aside if you can, and if you can't..." 

Looking up, he met Wen Ruohan's gaze.

"I will help you, Qiren," the man said, shifting to his lover's side. "We will help you."

"It's alright," Huaisang murmured, just as he did with his little Lan. "It's alright. I'm here. We're here."

They had all the time in the world to learn now, and Huaisang knew the paths not to take.

It'd be alright. They might stumble and fall, perhaps hurt one another, but they would persevere.

He'd make sure of it.

[wcrthmeltingfor]

╰ ✧ ˔ ⭒ magic is in the air ! oh wait - that’s just my old friend, ANNA ARENDELLE, the TWENTY year old FLORIST. they’ve lived in rome pines for ages, so everyone knows that they’re LOYAL and NAIVE, just like ANNA from FROZEN. they may not have any magic in them, but the neighborhood sure knows them from their SUNFLOWERS AND SWEET TOOTH . apparently, they are EXCITED about meeting these magical citizens from pastoral city, so let’s just hope they will get along with their new neighbors…⭒˔ ╮

S T O R Y

(tw: parental death)

Born on the 21st day of February, Anna Sophia Arendelle is the second and youngest child of Agnaar and Iduna, a prominent couple. From the moment Anna was born, it became clear she was born to bring joy to the world, but mostly to her own household. In her first days, her lips already curled upwards in small grins, which only grew as the weeks went by. Even as a baby, Anna showed to be trusting, never complaining as she was held by different people.

Once you met Anna, you could easily draw two conclusions: 1. She was way too trusting for her own good - the girl would believe anything anyone would tell her, which would often get her in trouble; and 2. Above everyone, she would trust her sister. The young girl had a deep love for her whole family, but Elsa, in Anna’s eyes, was the perfect role model. From a very young age Anna learned that, unlike her sister, she didn’t have any sort of magic. This, however, never affected her - Anna always felt protected near her big sister and that was all that really mattered for the red-haired girl.

The girls lived a normal and  healthy childhood. They had all the love and support from their parents and each other. In their home, doors were always open. Her mother loved flowers, so she’d cultivate them in every window, turning their house into a colorful and warm place. Anna would spend countless hours learning from her mom their names and how to watch over them.

Everything changed after the accident. It was late at night, way past their bedtime, and the girls snuck out of bed to play in one of the many rooms. To this day, she doesn’t have no memories of that night past the moment they left their beds - for what she could gather, she tripped and, in an attempt to protect her sister, Elsa’s magic hit the younger girl right in the head. Anna, five years old at the time, nearly lost her life. Even though she made a quick and full recovery, the dynamics of the house were not the same anymore. Windows were closed - her mother didn’t care for the flowers anymore. Elsa, consumed by her guilt, and supported by her parents concern, decided to isolate from Anna, rather abruptly.

Anna was too young to understand what was going on and felt deeply her sister’s abandonment. They’d see each other in rare occasions and when Anna would try to get closer, she’d be pushed away. She’d insist on knocking on the older girl’s door, asking her to come out and play with her, being rejected time after time.

Years went by. Anna grew up. The little girl became a teenager and, even though her sunshiny and gentle personality remained, she felt the mark Elsa’s absense left on her. Even as a social butterfly, she felt very lonely. Due to her trusting nature, she ended up envolved with boys who would treat her less than kindly. 

Two months before she turned eighteen, the sisters had to face tragedy: their parents, who had planned a business trip right before Christmas, had passed away. Anna felt like she was truthfully alone. After the funeral, Anna tried once more knocking on Elsa’s door, feeling her heart filled with grief. This time, the usual lack of response , she decided not to knock anymore.

It took her almost a year but living on her parents house took its toll. The girl felt sufocated. As worried as she was about Elsa, she just couldn’t stay there anymore. She decided it was time to move out, on her own. She packed only her necessary belongings and wrote a long letter to her sister - that she quietly slipped late at night under the door she knocked on for so long. And then, she left.

N O W A D A Y S. . . 

Anna struggled for a while. She left home very impulsevely, without really knowing where to go. She walked for hours, late at night, trying to find a place where she could stay with the little money she had. She ended up checking in on a dirty little motel. She promised herself she’d only stay there for a couple of days. She ended up living there for almost two months. 

A while latter, she found a room to rent on a little house, on a not-so-bad part of the town. The place was relatively small, but it was comfy enough,  and the price was right. 

At first, Anna got a job as a waitress. The payment was less than she deserved for the long hours she actually worked, but it kept her from having to live on the streets, so she did her best to keep going. Only problem is: Anna had always been way too clumsy, so after a dozen of broken plates and cups, she was fired. The girl tried everything, but she kept jumping from job to job, struggling to make enough money month after month. 

Her luck started to turn when, in one of her rare free days, she decided to take a walk to a nearby park. Sitting in a bench, Anna considered how exhausted she felt, when a familiar odor hit her nostrils and a small smile formed in her lips. The red-haired woman followed the smell to a little flower shop, owned by a old lady. They talked for hours, about their lives, the plants and everything. Anna left with one sunflower to place on her window and the promise she’d return very soon. 

After three weekends, the owner offered Anna a job. It was like a dream come true. It wasn’t much money but it was enough to allow her to rent her own place, a little house near that same park, and the job was pleasant. Anna can be seen working there, with a huge grin in her lips, as she waters and cares for the flowers.

P E R S O N A L I T Y:

Anna is still one of the warmest people you’ll ever meet. She’s gentle, kind, and very clumsy. She gets distracted easily, but is fiercily loyal to the ones she considers her friends - but also very easily manipulated, due to the fact of being naive. As she feels alone in the world, she has a deep desire to please everyone she meets. 

W A N T E D   C O N N E C 1T I O N S:

FRIENDS - AS MANY AS POSSIBLE! Anna loves people and she’d do anything for her friends.

LOVE CONNECTIONS - Good and bad. Anna had always been a romantic girl, dreaming of love. She believes in finding “the one” for her, but for being too trusting, she would believe anyone could be the one - as long as they convinced her of it. 

SIBLINGS FIGURES - “Losing” Elsa hurt Anna more than she could admit. She misses having someone to trust more than anything, someone she could feel safe with.

[naysaltysalmon]

Shoutout to @tiburme for tagging me~!

Rules: Name 10 favorite characters from 10 different things and then tag 10 people.

Oh, massive spoilers below btw.

1. Gon Freecss from Hunter x Hunter: My favorite shounen protagonist by far. At first you think he’s your typical happy-go-lucky bouncy boye :D who definitely doesn’t have abandonment issues or self-destructive tendencies that literally actually almost kill him later on, and then, uwu... The amount of complexity that Gon has as a protagonist who hardly ever has stand-alone development is nothing short of astounding. How during the Chimera Ant Art his characterization totally dips off to the side to become an unknowable entity even to the audience, while still retaining amazing character development regardless -- not to mention how brilliantly daring his decision to threaten Komugi is that nearly every other author with such a happy-go-lucky protagonist would shy away from in cowardice -- is absolutely surreal to me. The more I think and write about Gon, the more I fall in love with him. If I ever meet his father, and by that I mean his real father, the creator, Togashi, I have nothing else to say but,,, well done, sir.

2. Tanjirou Kamado from Demon Slayer: I’m really hoping the Demon Slayer movie comes out soon because I absolutely love this boy and how charming he is. Unlike most protagonists, not just of shounen anime but of seemingly macho story lines that involve power-ups and training in general, Tanjirou never lets go of his kind heart. (Welp, except maybe in some cases when he’s facing the Upper Moons later on -- I haven’t caught up yet -- but WE’RE GONNA IGNORE THAT for now.) From the beginning, Tanjirou’s kindness isn’t an obstacle holding back his power, though other characters pose it that way, but rather he cultivates his empathy to grant peace to the demons he faces. He smiles in the face of anyone who treats him poorly because of his cluelessness, and that’s just so heartwarming to see, and dare I say subversive to the hardened, calculating, and cocky male protagonists we so often get. Good job, Gotouge.

3. Joseph Joestar from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Giorno Giovanna was a close second, but I gotta go with Joseph. He’s the one who made me fall in love with the series, and with the later parts too. Unlike Jonathan Joestar, who was chivalrous and manly, Joseph was a riot: colorful, arrogant, funny, but also extremely clever. I absolutely loved his, “Next you’ll say...!” because at first I expected it to just be him being an overconfident asshole and eventually he’d be proven wrong at the ~Dai Pinchi Moment~ (please excuse my weeb speech, I legit didn’t know what else to call it), but then he hit the mark every time and eventually I was just waiting for when he’d pull that out and it was so hype. Also I surely can’t forget his transformation as an old dude in Part 3 -- him screaming “OOHHHH MY GAAAWDDDA!” and “HOLY SHIIIT!” murdered me every time. And of course, last but not least, the raw fucking emotion when Caeser died -- the dude actually gave a shit and wasn’t made entirely of wit and absurdity, but heart too. Joseph set the tone for what JJBA was as a whole for me (fuck off with that “but Part 3/Part 4 is the best Part” bullshit, Part 2 will always be top tier for me because of Joseph Joestar’s brilliant, bright, and beautiful absurdity -- but Part 5 was really good too). Araki really is a genius.

4. Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess: My love for this series is a bit older than the series I’ve already mentioned, and TLoZ: TP was actually probably the first time I got seriously obsessed with a fandom. I love all the Links in their own ways, but Twilight Princess really drove home the “lone wolf chosen by the gods, fighting against the world” narrative for me. It made me feel important and strong at a time when no one cared about me. Seeing Link struggle silently through his quest with villagers who meant well but did nothing for him, and Midna who started out as a reluctant acquaintance and eventually became so much more, meant so much to me at the time I played the game. I will always love Twilight Princess the most because of what it did for me at one of the darkest times in my life, and because I felt completely and utterly immersed in every part of the story and gameplay through Link’s character, who was, and in many ways, still is, so relatable to me: Silent courage really is what I use to get through every day.

5. Greedling from Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood): For once I’m not naming the protagonist of a series! Lissen, I still smile whenever I see the slightest reference to Edward Elric, but now he’s more of my childhood love. He’s just a part of my personality already? LOL. Anyway, FMA(B) has so many good characters that choosing just one doesn’t feel right (I mean, same with HxH tho). I say Greedling because that encompasses both Ling and Greed though, two of my favorite characters from the series! Ling’s apparent childishness in constantly running away from fights, making other people pay for his food, and failing to grasp the seriousness of the situation (until Lan Fan’s arm gets cut off lol oops) is so adorable and entertaining. He’s the best kind of idiot asshole, and I especially love how he teases Ed. After him and Greed fuse, Ling’s stout heart becomes even more apparent, as he constantly eggs Greed on to remember his past life, his friends, and become someone outside of Father/the Dwarf in the Flask. Conversely, Greed’s nonchalance and (of course) avarice are nothing short of entertaining and heartbreaking. Greed’s realization at the end, when he finally admitted to himself that what he wanted all along were “friends like these,” completely crushed me the first few times I watched FMAB. And when he’s screaming in the tunnels under Central after having killed Bido, remembering his friends, and he doesn’t understand why, and later attacks Wrath/King Bradley... that shit was so entertaining and cathartic to watch. None of his development feels like forced redemption, nor like it was too little development, since it mostly happens in the background and away from the “validating eyes” of the protagonists other than Ling. And at the end, when Ling and Greed work together to take down Bradley and all the soldiers invading Central HQ... it’s so beautiful. Many have said this before but I’ll say it again: Hiromu Arakawa wrote the perfect series.

6. Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler: Another protagonist! And another older obsession of mine. Ciel remains in my mind to this day mainly for his heartlessness in relation to his age, and the fluidity with which Toboso tells his story. Normally when authors write younger characters into their serious stories, they make��“child adults” of sorts, but Ciel feels totally realistic to the extent that he is both childish and adult to me. Obviously, Ciel is responsible and (normally) level-headed due to being the head of the Phantomhive household, but also from trauma. Yet, his cruelty at times is what sticks in my mind the most: You really feel that he’s someone who feels he’s been abandoned by the entire world, given his experiences, and that makes him disregard or use others sometimes in order to reach his own ends. Normally, authors would be too cowardly to let their protagonists, let alone child protagonists, go to such lengths to avenge their family, or carry out their duty as the dog of the military (looking at you, Arakawa -- she’s still a goddess tho). But Ciel is unforgiving. He lies to Snake and tells him his troupe is still alive. He murders the entire troupe because he’s triggered -- a childish decision, but driven with adult-like power due to trauma. It’s devastatingly riveting, and I cannot forget his unrelenting, contained rage to this day.

7. Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars: The Clone Wars: This one may come as a shock to most of you, because I hardly ever post Star Wars let alone Ahsoka content on here -- but it’s true. Other than the blatant, half-assedly inserted heteroromantic partner they gave Ahsoka in, like, idk season 3??, Ahsoka is a fucking goddess. From her origin as a wee baby in the earlier seasons who didn’t really know what she was doing and was a bit of a cocky brat, to how she matures and becomes wise, resourceful, and fierce in the later seasons, I just love Ahsoka’s design and character to this day. The episodes that stick in my mind aside from the obvious are when she’s possessed by the Dark Side of the Force on that Force balance planet and her arrogance becomes so exaggerated that she threatens and attacks Anakin, her teacher. It was so fucking cathartic. Normally female characters, let alone young protagonist female characters, are never allowed to show the ugly sides of themselves in fiction, since women are always portrayed as perfect beautiful majestic angels or some bullshit like that. (Or they’re cocky/sexy/slutty villain women. ‘Kay then.) Seeing Ahsoka devolve into her basal desires and come out of it like hardly anything happened and she’s still a perfectly valid character was so amazing to see on a meta level; it wasn’t about her learning a lesson or anything, it was a thing that happened like any other character and then they moved the fuck on. I also distinctly remember the episode where she was trapped on that island/planet and she had to take out the aliens that were after her all by herself. That was so fucking empowering to watch and god fucking dammit I need to rewatch this series now. And of course, let us not forget the fact that the entire time, we were all expecting Ahsoka to just be another domino in Anakin’s downfall -- and she was, but not through the refrigerator -- but through walking away from it all. That was so powerful and moving -- and heartbreaking. By the end of TCW, her character carried weight and agency in the narrative, and god, I only wish whoever wrote her could write more female characters in the future.

8. Tigress from Kung Fu Panda: Maybe another surprise, but I think she deserves this spot. Tigress is a female character who starts out as kind of an antagonist, given how she outright tells Po to leave the kung fu temple within the first day of him arriving. She’s even jealous of the fact that he’s chosen as the Dragon Warrior rather than her -- but that’s due to the backwash of years of trying to live up to the memory of Tai Lung in order to please Shifu (which means “master” in Chinese but ok I’ll shut up now), her master and mentor over the years. She never says this out loud in the movie, which is what makes her character more believable. Others even joke about how stoic she is (and not in bad taste). Her character development is definitely present for those who are looking -- but I put her on this list because I’m so happy the movie doesn’t make it some huge dramatic emotional thing, because so often in media women are depicted as being overly-emotional and here Tigress is just a hurt child trying to make her mentor happy. But, she gets over it, her and Po become allies, even friends to each other -- she and Po talk like equals in the second and third movies, and she even tells him to back out of the fight with Lord Shen and he listens (I mean he doesn’t stay put but he doesn’t undermine her opinion either lol, like most jokesy protagonists of Western media would -- looking at you, Marvel). I like Tigress because she’s an antagonist without being a bitch, she’s powerful without being overpowered, and she’s not sexualized despite being a well-trained, at times jealous, and even emotionally awkward kung fu master. And I almost forgot to mention the best part: There is never an indication of romance between her and Po, or any other character, for that matter. She’s perfectly capable, complex, and lovely on her own terms. And that’s that on THAT.

9. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit: I wanted to include at least one character protagonist from a live-action movie/book, lol. I feel like Bilbo’s pretty self-explanatory. He doesn’t wanna go on an adventure because he likes his doilies and warm sheets, but then Gandalf seduces him with the call to the outside world and possible death (LOL), and he fucking goes for it, grumbling the entire time. Isn’t that what any of us would do if given such a proposition? I like to think so. Bilbo obviously has his own gradual, evil transformation with the One Ring, becomes murderous and uses it to disappear, and grows a strong bromance with the King Under the Mountain (which happens in both the movie and the book), but I think what I like about him is that he really feels... down-to-earth? Like even though the adventure changes him, it never feels like he’s been stretched in a way that makes his core character traits of grumbling and bluntness disappear. He gets better at the whole adventuring thing, for sure, but he remains Bilbo, at least, to me, throughout the journey. It was heartwrenching watching him try to save Thorin in The Battle of Five Armies, honestly, but Bilbo’s the kind of character that I feel like has his own story and mythology aside from The Hobbit, and maybe that’s just the result of J.R.R. Tolkien writing the lore for every aspect of his universe, but My Point Still Stands. He feels like his own man apart from the series he’s in, yet he’s still so much fun in his series.

10. Barley Lightfoot from Onward: And last, this one is because I saw Onward yesterday and was pleasantly surprised by the characterization in it -- and anyone who thinks differently can kiss my *ss. :) I was not expecting the movie to take the twist of fleshing out the “annoying” (more like adorable) overconfident nerdy big brother. Normally those characters are swiped to the side because God Forbid The Comic Relief Have Any Sadness In Them. I was expecting the movie to focus on Ian’s journey to meet his fatha and that the movie would pull something stupid at the end like “oh actually there’s another phoenix gem underneath the school” or “actually since only his legs appeared then you still have 24 hours with him” or some shit like that, but I guess this isn’t an anime so those absurdist explanations wouldn’t hold water anyway. But still, for a kid’s movie, I was NOT expecting this movie to go so hard with the characterization. For once, the main character doesn’t get what he wants at the end, and instead realizes it’s his big brother, Barley, who’s been looking out for him his entire life. Meeting his dad would betray that reality. What happens instead is that the lovable big brother never actually said goodbye to their dad before he died, because when their dad got sick, said brother ran away from the hospital room in fear of all the life-sustaining equipment. (Is this some meta thing about Chris Pratt and Guardians of the Galaxy? Off topic and call me stupid, but I didn’t realize Chris Pratt plays him until I saw everyone freaking out about it afterward on Tumblr laksjdflak.) So instead, the lovable big brother talks to the dad at the end, and unconfident younger brother grows confidence and thanks big bro for being with him his entire life. It was so touching, dude. I cry. But the moment that sticks in my mind the most was when Ian was crossing the invisible bridge... Ian needed to have confidence in himself to be able to cross over a chasm in their path, and Barley knew that if Ian didn’t believe in himself, he would fall and die. They tie a rope around Ian for good measure, and Barley encourages him the entire way, but halfway over, the rope comes loose and slips off. Barley sees this and starts panicking, but of course continues to encourage Ian so that Ian will get to the other side. What got to me wasn’t the fact that he faked it for Ian, but that there are actual tears running down his face as he’s encouraging Ian to get to the other side, because he knows otherwise Ian wouldn’t have the confidence and would fall to his death. Like dude, that raw, complex emotion in a kid’s movie?! DUDE?! I was fucking surprised. The clear anxiety and grief in Barley’s face as Ian’s totally clueless and even dancing around in the air was just too much, omfg. Of course, then it’s played off for laughs, but... I guess that makes sense for the annoying overconfident nerdy big bro character. :’)

Okay these are way longer than I anticipated and I’m sorry, but also I’m really not. Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on my favs!

Seems I don’t talk to that many people on here anymore: @stupidbluejay @mirycactusito @chronicstarlight

[acarrow]

        “ what separates the wolf from the sheep is not a matter of good or evil.              we all have teeth   —   but only some of us are willing to use them. ”

( danielle rose russell, twenty, cis-female ) my goodness, is ALECTO CARROWback? it’s been a while since the PUREBLOOD has been around the castle, but i’d recognize HER anywhere. rumor has it the SEVENTH YEAR spent the year aligned with the DEATH EATERS. but I hear they’re still POISED & SHARP and OVER-CAUTIOUS & DESIROUS. and the RAVENCLAW still reminds me of jeweled daggers tucked into frothy skirts like a secret; gilt edged pages on old books; perfume pressed to pulse points like a shield; the cool, lonely whisper of dead leaves on marble steps. well, then, I guess some things never change.  ( zoe, 21, cst, she/her )

WARNINGS:  discussions of war, parental neglect, familial death; alcohol mention, weapon mention, manipulation  ADDITIONAL MATERIALS:   alecto’s playlist, stats page, & pinterest board    

i.

the carrow family had amycus, so it wasn’t a total let down when alecto ilse carrow was born and was born a girl. but if everyone was being honest, there wasn’t any real thrill there for her either. they loved her in a rote way and cared for her in a rote way and their distance and cool removal from her life spoke more than anything they ever did for her.

they would tell strangers, of course we love our daughter. but alecto herself couldn’t recall ever hearing them tell her they loved her, not to her face.

the carrows, historically, were not the most refined when it came to the most sacred. sure, they were one of the best families  ---  but their machinations never seemed to be the sort that won the hearts of a people; their plans, never the ones put to action. they had wealth and connections enough, bloodlines going as far back as any of the other twenty-eight’s; but they were not half so perfect.

alecto didn’t like people not expecting perfection from her. her parents saw so little when they looked at her, and it grated to see the same from the people they were surrounded by. so she made changing that expectation her mission at, in all honesty, too young an age. 

they thought carrows weren’t the ones to beat. fine. wasn’t she one to beat all on her own? wasn’t she enough to change the tides of her family’s reputation?

her parents, they were amused; let her try, for soon she’d realize that she was a girl, and would always, always fall short of expectations. she’d decided this at a precocious eight years old after a particularly disastrous dinner party; at the time, this mission of hers started with presenting a flawless front to anyone looking at her expecting another carrow wildcard. she’d always been precocious; she knew what game they were all playing and just how to play it.

( didn’t they all know how easy it was? to become like them? )

ii.

around the same time she reached this decision, for the path she’d tackle the rest of her life, her aunt dulcinea died and crushed alecto’s heart.

aunt dulcinea and uncle anatole were distant carrow relatives and in alecto’s weaker, punishable, childish moments   —   she’d wished they’d been her parents. she wished it stupidly, in place of wishing for her own parents to love her.

at the reading of her aunt’s will, alecto received dulcinea’s wand (  12 ¼", griffin feather and aspen, quite flexible and carved with a loving hand ). and though she wasn’t of an age yet to use magic, her uncle practiced dueling with her using sticks found in the gardens on the carrow estate. even before she could legally utter a single spell, alecto was a skilled duelist. she tucked this into her back pocket like a secret; would let out shining peals of false, childish laughter if ever anyone asked about those dueling lessons. her, dueling? no, no, no. she was itty, bitty, and ladylike, faint at the very idea of fighting. her uncle anatole had simply been indulging her silly games of make - believe.

iii.

she made friends greedily as a child; ostensibly so she could have the connections, the network, that was so vital to the lives of adults in pureblood society. but the small truth was that alecto just fed on human connection. she loathed how much liked people to like her and resented that she needed people at all. but it was true, and it could be useful.  

she tried, at times, unthinkingly, to imitate the distance her parents had with her. she loved talking and hated talking all at once, but she did pride herself on being able to fill hours of conversation with no substance at all. and it better cemented the idea that she didn’t actually desire the friends or acquaintances she had   ---   if every interaction was hollow, what could prove she thrived on them? how would anyone know much she relished the meandering words?

she could be very cruel to those around her   —   not necessarily on purpose, but also not not on purpose. there was a threshold, where acquaintances shifted into someone alecto would trust with her life. at that threshold she tended to turn mean, to turn people away, and it was a horrible habit and one she wouldn’t break.

but all the feigned distance in the world couldn’t keep her from finding actual friends, and she would kill for those she cared for. reckless all or nothing thinking like that was just the carrow way. true, 

fierce friendship was an earned thing, but a warm-looking smile from dear alecto cost her nothing at all.

iv.

she was sorted into ravenclaw; perhaps it would have disappointed her family, if they’d had expectations high enough to disappoint in the first place. when alecto was eleven, and wrote home with news of the sorting, she knew she’d lost any chance of being the favorite   ---   slim as the chance had ever been. oh, her parents had indulged her goal of making a name for herself. she was their daughter; clever enough, pretty enough, to indulge. but they’d never seen that indulgence yielding anything, and her sorting only confirmed it for them.

( she suspected they wrote to her brother more, while at school. no, of course she never asked him. she was a ravenclaw, smart enough to know that some doors need not be opened. )

imagine: a little carrow in ravenclaw tower, all alone amongst peers of all blood statuses and backgrounds. she thrived there, much though she hid that fact from her parents. they certainly never imagined her thriving. she had her aunt’s wand and her uncle’s scattered owls, friends she made cautiously and recklessly in equal measure, a feeling of total abandonment gifted to her by her parents’ abandonment. it was heady, and dangerous.

she kissed people her parents would have been scandalized to know she knew at all, linked arms with girls from families her father had long disparaged over breakfast. joined the quidditch team and shared sportsman-like handshakes with any opposing player she could hunt down after matches.

her grins were sharp and wicked and her laughter soft and surprised and she knew   ---   she knew!   ---   that the home she felt in the castle could never last once outside of it.

it was a home, and that word just didn’t mean anything for girls like her. 

alecto was just a girl, darling little thing. the carrow daughter with a whip-sharp mind   ---   that she made sure to only show in carefully curated fields, that was a problem all the same. she would bring no heirs, and the thought of the mind on her made it hard for the family to imagine setting up an enviable match for her. she would never find it easy, being a trophy hanging off someone’s arm. they may not have cared for her any more than they had to, but they knew her better than she ever thought they did. she did not bend or bow to anyone, and that would make her life harder than her parents thought it had to be.

the lives of pureblood daughters could be easier than breathing, in the new world they had hopes of cultivating. if only alecto would let things be easy.

v.

her parents might have thought she had an allergy to the simple route. and maybe she did; maybe they were right, and she was wired all wrong. her mind was a tricky place   ---   all those forbidden books in her common room, all six and a half years, they had an impact. perhaps on a stronger carrow they’d have been nothing when compared to the things her family had told her all her life. but she acted like they were no stronger carrows, and pretended like the act didn’t cost a thing.

when her parents and their cohort went and got her home blown up, alecto learned to pretend like lots of things cost her nothing at all. 

see, the pretending was easy: she just had to strap her knives and wand to her thigh with pretty little garters, the better to flash the steel beneath silk skirts and lace robes. the beauty of the muggle weapons caught her eye and held it   ---   she heard someone whisper it was a sign of her cruelty, that she could imagine wielding something so primitive. heard someone else whisper she was pretty as one of her daggers, and twice as sharp.

oh, how she hadn’t missed full immersion in pureblood society. at night, she dreamed of ravenclaw tower. 

in her years away from school, she learned to enjoy the refined burn of shots worth more galleons than some could ever see. she learned to love glittering adornments, and tossing her hair, and beguiling with a single flash of her pearly-white fangs. she was good. except when she was bad. and loathe though she was to admit it, she could still find enough ancient carrow in her to be very, very bad  ...  when she so chose.

badness could very easily be written off as youth, except by those who shared alecto’s youth with her. to them, well, it was her typical carrow tendencies coming out to play. it was her growing tired of the never ending act she’d started years and years ago. it was her doing very reckless things, perhaps unknowingly   ---   or perhaps awaiting the mess she’d leave in her wake. she’d have to fix the mess, of course, and in that fixing would lie the cool reminder that while she looked like any of the rest of them, she would always be a carrow. and carrows are too sharp, too much, and so alecto is, too.

( the secret was she was too much alecto to be anything, really )

vi.

she didn’t even like pureblood society that much; up close, it didn’t glitter like she’d imagined as a child, on the outside looking in.

she resented the idea that she’d have to marry some man eventually, who she likely wouldn’t care about and who likely wouldn’t appreciate her for all that she was. but if she wanted to be more than a wife or mother she knew she’d have to show her hand   ---   reveal that she had a mind for strategy, that she knew a thousand wicked things. sign herself away to the war for a side she doesn’t believe in. it would surprise no one to learn that both action and inaction held steep consequences.

but alecto didn’t want to fight; and in the meantime, no one was asking her to, not really. without her n.e.w.t.s, she was in a limbo. her parents and their ilk suspected how useful she could be, but had no final grades to prove it. it wasn’t worth the embarrassment, bringing a girl to the dark lord with no way of showing she had use. so she took up an easy job at some publishing house in diagon alley, something that required little wandwork. nothing flashy enough to catch the attention of someone who’d ask why she wasn’t putting that wand of hers to use. but something that let her escape her family estate and the stifling meetings conducted there. 

( she attended one here and there, when roped into it; the carrow girl on the sidelines, showing how much loyalty her father inspired in those around him. a less skilled actor than alecto might’ve gagged on the falsehoods and prejudice clouding the air. )

her family continued ignoring her, most of the time; neglecting to see any real usefulness. and there was safety in that   ---   she might yet make it to a disappointing marriage without any blood on her hands.

in a perfect world she could lay down in neutral ground and not move a muscle for either side. not have to enter some loveless future, either. but what would that make of her family loyalty? the last thing she wants is more disappointment from her parents. more proof that she’s never been what they wanted. for all that she despises them, she can’t help but want her parents to love her; and deserting their side of the war will not inspire love. 

this was, of course, no perfect world. alecto was not the sort of girl who lived in happy endings. so while she didn’t want to join the war, had no desire to loan her mind to the death eaters   ---   she knew she would. she would have to. she was a carrow, and so of course she’d join the fight. the plain and simple fact of the matter was that there was no possible path for her that didn’t beat her heart into bloody submission. so that life, that planned future, was better than nothing at all. right? 

vii.

alecto couldn’t be paid to give two shits about blood status. she knew her family fought tooth and nail along with all their peers for the glory and triumph of blood purity   ---   and regrettable as it was to dwell on, it was background noise she would ignore because she could afford to ignore it. just because she could care for, or befriend, a muggleborn with no internal struggle didn’t mean she'd ever actively do anything to help them; not with things as they were now. things had been different in school, and this damned war had ripped that from her too soon. 

she didn’t have much exposure to people of other blood statuses as a child and that’s when she set her heart on winning at life in pureblood circles. sometimes goals like that were hard to let go of. so while her stomach curls at the lack of intelligence she sees as inherit in blood purist ideologies she doesn’t actually  ...  fight the fact that pureblood circles are run on purist ideologies. for as much as she hates being tied to her parents, she’s loyal to the carrow name. if they’re not jumping ship, then she can’t either. she won’t be the only carrow stupid enough to leave.

she’d rather break her heart and throw herself into a cause liable to kill her than become her own person separate from the life she’s wasted years building.

viii.

no one needed to know she hated this; softness was worse than wildness, in alecto’s eyes. her wildness couldn’t be helped, but she’d die before anyone saw her weak. let them see a ruthless game-player with a heart carved from crystalline ice. let them see a wicked woman with a cold interest in the ways people could hurt. let them see a girl, damnably neutral while she still could be, cards always held close to the chest.

hogwarts opened back up and alecto was desperate for the chance to return  ---  and desperately happy that she’d retained her neutrality while outside its walls. damnable it might’ve been, but alecto hardly cared. her family and their pureblood peers could all assume she was on their side; assume that though ( tiny slip of a girl that she was ) she’d never taken up arms, she agreed with them. who the fuck cared? 

she was going back to her one true home, if only for one more year.

she could put off proving those assumptions true for a little while longer. 

she can pretend she won’t prove them true; it’s a kind thing to pretend. but a kind mask is still a mask. and alecto knew masks, could pluck one from her shelves and put it on in her sleep. it was easier, after all, to not think; some part of alecto has always known this, long learned how to turn off her racing thoughts, her conscience, her heart, in order to do what needed to be done. she hated it. but she did it. at least for one more year, she’d be turning off her racing thoughts, and her conscience, and her heart, for kind and selfish reasons. she so seldom did things selfishly, and there were worst last hurrahs. 

sooner or later alecto would give in  ---  in a way that could never be undone. or, perhaps, she’d come to hate feeling her family’s belated pride resting on her head like poisoned laurels. prove even herself wrong and desert them and their pitied crowns.

( she prays for the former and hopes for the latter, with her wicked, traitorous heart. )

[otonymous]

Our Little Secret (Ikesen Mitsuhide - NSFW)

Description: Once you’re caught in the fox’s trap, you’ll never want to leave. Warnings: NSFW/18+: Explicit/graphic language — reader discretion is advised Word Count: 1809 (~9 minutes of fluff & smut) AO3: Read here Author’s Notes:  Yet another milestone!  This is the first time I’ve written anything for Ikesen and also my first time responding to a request, which happens to be from @pristinehaven, who wrote:

“Can I ask for a scenario for Ikesen Mitsuhide’s wedding day. Like who would attend it and who would be his best man and how everything would go. Nsfw at the end (wedding night) with a fem s/o?”

Apparently, I have issues with reading comprehension, so instead of a short and sweet scenario I wrote an entire story.  I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not that familiar with Mitsuhide’s character in this game, so I apologize in advance if this seems OOC.  That being said, hope you all enjoy it!

Tagging: @oh-my-otome: for your incredibly extensive analysis on everyone’s favourite snek, without which this story would not have happened. Also tagging other lovely readers: @dear-mrs-otome, @saizoswifey, @pseudofaux, @all-my-cuffs-have-buttons, @artemira-sengoku, @fieryanmitsu, @belxsar, @suzi-q-uinn, @otomediary, @kitty-kat-ty, @friedchikyorice All characters & Ikemen Sengoku owned by Cybird.

Mitsuhide’s index finger traces along the dividing lines of your palm, mouth lifted in a smirk as amber eyes flicker upwards to hold your gaze, his tone dropping an octave as he says,

“According to the way this one is curving up, your love life should prove quite fruitful.”

Playing along with the kitsune’s offer to read your palm, your brows lift as you feign surprise.

“Is that right, Mitsuhide?  I’m not so sure.  I think I’ll need more proof than just the fact that we’ve spent the entire morning making love in this abandoned field of wildflowers.”

Gently pressing a kiss to your hand before setting it down on your bared chest, Mitsuhide yawns as he sits up to stretch his muscular arms towards a cloudless blue expanse.  The sun hung high in the sky, warming your bodies as you lay among disheveled kimonos and delicate flowers that dotted the tall grasses like multicoloured jewels.  Strands of his silver hair catch the light as they momentarily obscure the eyes you love to drown in, and you smile to think on how the intensity of his all-knowing gaze used to unnerve you.

“If the Princess of the Oda demands proof, then proof she must have.”

Draping his white kimono over his broad shoulders, you hear the rustling of fabric as he unwraps the furoshiki he surreptitiously tucked under his arm when you left Azuchi this morning.  And when the wisteria-purple silk you had silently coveted for months but couldn’t dream of affording unfurled before your eyes, you are once again dumbfounded by the preternatural resourcefulness of the man who knew everyone’s secrets but revealed so few of his own.  Well, at least to anyone who wasn’t you.

For since the time you became lovers, Mitsuhide slowly unveiled more and more of himself, the armour he donned to keep everyone at arm’s length gradually peeling back like the layers of an onion.  Your patience had paid off when your suspicions proved correct in the end: beneath the merciless teasing and façade of ice, that lonely, beautiful man had a heart of gold, ready to sacrifice himself in any which way for his lord’s cause, and now, for your happiness.  You held this realization dear, forever thankful for the treasure he entrusted you with: the gift of truly knowing who Akechi Mitsuhide was.  

Upon closer inspection of the fabric in his hands, you realize it was actually fashioned into an exquisite kimono, which your lover now lay over your naked body.  Mitsuhide nods as his vulpine eyes caress you, smiling in satisfaction that he had given the castle seamstress the correct dimensions, as if his hands could ever forget the lines and curves of your body.

“Mitsuhide, how did you…this kimono is absolutely gorgeous!  But what’s the occasion for such an extravagant gift?”  

You jump to your feet in excitement, immediately wrapping yourself within the luxurious silk as he looks on, infinitely entertained by your unabashed display of joy.

“Weren’t you the one who asked for proof that your love life would come to beautiful fruition?”  At your questioning look, he continues, “Take a look inside.”

Your heart starts to race when your shaking fingers trace the line of gold embroidery until the ends meet in the shape of a bellflower, identical to the ones proudly displayed on Mitsuhide’s kimono.  And when you finally find the courage to look up again, he is on his knees before you.

“Will you be my wife and take on my family crest for your own?”

The depths of his golden eyes are suffused with an uncharacteristic mixture of hope and uncertainty as he awaits your response with bated breath.  Mitsuhide knew he didn’t possess Hideyoshi’s reputation with women, Nobunaga’s overwhelming charisma or Masamune’s wild charm, but what he did have he was more than willing to surrender completely to you.

He doesn’t have the opportunity to ponder for much longer before the force of your embrace knocks him to the ground, your lips alternating between pressing heated kisses to his own and breathlessly whispering over and over again, “Yes!  A million times, yes!”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sake swirled about in the red lacquered cup as you settled yourself onto Mitsuhide’s lap, face flushed and grinning as you pressed your forehead to his.  Raising the cup in a third toast, you each take the requisite three sips before you feel a strong arm encircle your waist to steady you from the alcohol that already started going to your head after the second helping.  

“Little mouse, you’d think you would’ve learned how to tolerate your sake by now.”

“Leave me alone, Mitsuhide.  This is a special occasion.  After all, it’s not every day you get to pledge the rest of your life to the man you love.”

The fire that burns in his eyes turn amber into molten gold, igniting your desire anew, as if you hadn’t touched him in years as opposed to that very morning.

Dressed in the kimono he gave you earlier that day, the pair of you had made for the nearest inn, so intent on becoming man and wife that neither of you had the patience to wait for a proper ceremony amongst the rest of the Oda.  You laughed as you thought on how befitting the circumstances of your wedding was for Mitsuhide’s character: such a public display of affection was completely contrary to the smoke-and-mirrors persona he had worked so hard to cultivate.  

In the end, you both agreed to keep your marriage from everyone else for as long as possible, a secret held close to your hearts like the hidden bellflowers nestled snugly against your chest.  After all, Mitsuhide’s penchant for intrigue and espionage garnered him many enemies, and Kennyo was still at large.  Having made your personal safety his foremost priority, your husband refused to put you in a situation where you could be manipulated into acting as a bargaining chip.  And the fewer people who knew of your status as his wife, the less likely the knowledge would leak.

“How do you think they will react when they find out?  Can you imagine the look on Hideyoshi’s face?!”  You sputter, linking your arms around Mitsuhide’s neck to stop yourself from falling over in a fit of drunken laughter.

“You must be really inebriated to be talking about other men with your husband on your wedding day.”  His eyes darken momentarily, then his lips pull up into their trademark smirk as he says, “I, however, am in the mood to be drunk off something else entirely.”

The look on Mitsuhide’s face cuts through your sake-induced haze in an instant, the anticipation of pleasures to come so powerfully sobering the laughter dies on your lips and you swallow hard to fight the sudden onslaught of an unquenchable thirst.  

In a series of motions as smooth as the kitsune himself, your lover has you reclined on the futon in the rented room, hakama down and kimono slipping off one shoulder as he approaches you, twirling the bottle of sake teasingly in one hand.

Laying back to enjoy the show, you savour the cool brush of your husband’s long, elegant fingers across your heated skin as he undresses you slowly, as if unwrapping a fragile gift.  And just when the excruciating wait has you arching wantonly into his touch, the final layers are shed and you gasp to feel a stream of liquid hitting your collarbones, pooling into the hollow spaces above them until it overflows and trails down towards your core.  

Through eyes half-lidded in ecstasy, you glimpse a flash of silver as Mitsuhide drops his head between your legs, his hot tongue sensually lapping up your body to catch the rivulets of sake streaming down your trembling curves.  You cannot help but cry out when he sucks hungrily at the supple flesh of your breasts, his wicked tongue teasing your puckered nipples until your hips are lifting from the floor in a desperate bid to feel the slide of his growing erection against your wetness.

Bringing his lips close to your ear, he says,  “Shhh, my love.  As much as I want to hear you scream for me, we don’t want to wake everyone else in this inn from their slumber, hm?”

“You know I can’t control myself when it comes to you, Mitsuhide.”

Rising to his knees to offer you a full view of the intimidating length and hardness of his thick cock, he mockingly affects a solemn expression as he ponders your dilemma.  Then, his eyes glint as if hitting upon a solution when he asks,

“Shall I give you something to occupy your mouth with?”

The vibrations of your muffled moans almost drive Mitsuhide over the edge, so much so that the rhythm of his tongue drawing insistent circles about your clit is punctuated by the panting of his hot breath at your entrance.  The grip of his strong hands on your ass encourage you to rest even more of your weight on his face, and your mental faculties are swept clean away at the moist sensation of his lips gathering yours between his own to gently suck.  With nothing else left to do but tremor under his manipulation, you focus instead on counting every twitch of his cock in your mouth.

You can only imagine how lewd you must’ve looked to him, your cheeks burning and thighs spread wide and without a care, inviting him to feast his eyes on the glistening mess your arousal and his saliva made of the space in between.  And when he finally slides in to fill you to capacity, you marvel at how incredibly addicting this man was.  Every stroke sent the blood racing through your veins, the sweat dripping off his body doing nothing to cool the incandescent heat that burned throughout your core.  At that moment, you lived solely for the press of his hard body against your skin and the slippery friction between your legs.

When you finally feel yourself surrendering to the powerful spasms spreading through your body, you can sense that Mitsuhide’s release is close as well.  But nothing could’ve prepared you for the feral way he threw your legs over his shoulders, pounding into you with such force and intensity that you could feel yourself breathlessly sliding off the bedding from the onslaught.  

Eyes tightly shut from exertion, Mitsuhide gives one final thrust before you feel the heat of his release coat you from deep within.  And as you card your fingers through his fine silvery hair, feeling the vibrations of his thundering heart resound throughout the cavity of your own chest, you have never been happier to have fallen so deeply into this fox’s trap.  

Thanks for reading!  More stories available here! 💕

[cxrleonis]

3, 18, 26, 39 for jackie, cory, and isabel

not accepting | @cyniceds

3. How do they position themselves in a group? Do they like to be the center of attention, or do they hang back at the edges of a crowd?

jackie: jackie can inadvertently become the center of attention in a group, but it isn’t something she actively seeks out. she definitely doesn’t hang back in a group, but she likes to make people feel included, so she’s not one to hog all the attention to herself.

cory: initially, cory will try to form a part of the prominent part of the group, but she more often than not ends up lingering in the back. she tends to shine more one-on-one than in groups.

isabel: isabel isn’t interested in being the center of attention. if she’s trying to prove herself or if it’s a situation where a leader is needed, she WILL step up, but otherwise, she’s indifferent to it.

18. What kind of person could they become in the future? What are some developmental paths that they could take, (best, worst, most likely?) what would cause them to come to pass, and what consequences might they have? What paths would you especially like to see, and why?

jackie: damn damn damn um, i feel like, mentally and emotionally, jackie is mostly at her best right now? especially compared to how she was doing before. she’s sober, she has a positive father figure in her life, and she’s a pretty optimistic and determined person. what’s next for her at this point are her career-oriented goals. so a few years of her and her band-mates busting their asses and playing gig after gig and initially gaining a small following before they either get noticed by a record label representative OR they actively seek out record labels to sign them. 

as her band starts getting more and more famous, i can imagine her going down a darker path (getting back into drugs, maybe neglecting some of her relationships, as we kinda saw a glimpse of with the whole teddy situation) if she doesn’t have the right support system, or if they go down the same dark path. but as long as she has the right people around her to stop her when she gets TOO ambitious, TOO in over her head, then i think she’ll be okay.

worst case? other than gaining fame but falling into the dark toxic abyss of the music industry, something catastrophic that would make her revert back to old bad habits. she would need to feel hopeless for that to happen– her band breaking up, her friendships lessening, her father figure (robert the mVP) dying. a succession of horrible shit that makes her turn to drugs again, that makes her less lively, less genuine, more manipulative, more cynical. that part of her life was such a DARK moment for her, that regressing back to that would just destroy her.

cory: best case scenario, ok– therapy will help her deal with a lot of her inner conflicts that she hasn’t addressed: finding value within herself instead of latching onto other people to give her some sense of value, deep insecurities that play into her lack of self-esteem, and abandonment issues she developed over time in the foster care system. also, family therapy will help her create a better relationship with her adoptive mom, who she’s always felt uncomfortable around bc she always feels like she needs to impress her and like she’s constantly failing. cory at her best is a cory that’s comfortable with herself, a cory that’s CONFIDENT– she knows her worth, she stands up for herself more, she’s less hesitant. she’ll learn that she’s actually a real go-getter; when she knows what she wants and doesn’t second-guess herself, she’ll do what she needs to do to get to that point (like her “maybe this time” broadway verse– this girl GOES HARD FOR THE THINGS SHE WANTS).

worst case scenario, she falls out of love with most things. her insecurities consume her entirely until her life becomes trying to be enough for others and never feeling like she’s enough for herself. she becomes less social and it gets harder for her to form meaningful relationships with people because of it. she loses hope more easily. she basically loses most of the things that make her a ball of sunshine so we will not speak of this alternate universe bc it is not necessary.

isabel: the main difference between isabel’s best and worst case scenarios, i think, is how she creates balance in her life. in both instances, i can see her becoming a really successful and well regarded news or investigative journalist, because she has the drive to get her there. in her best case scenario, she finds a balance between her work life and her social/personal life, which is one of the things i feel like she struggles with the most. she’s ambitious, but she can let that ambition drive her for too long to where she can begin to isolate herself.

in her worst case scenario, she lets her drive overtake her, she starts isolating herself, and she just distances herself from people, maybe even her family at some point. she’d become lonely and selfish, and it would have a big impact on her mental and emotional state that she would try to deny. 

26. How do they view and feel about relationships, and how might this manifest in how they handle them, if it does?

jackie: when jackie was much younger, her view on relationships was very much based on convenience. if you could offer her a place to sleep, could give her food, money, clothes, you were her friend; she would be there for you, she’d be a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on. it was survival in exchange for friendship. she didn’t know how to value relationships, and it made her a toxic person to be around sometimes.

however, after meeting robert and going to church and getting back on her feet, there is a strong sense of community and loyalty that jackie applies to relationships. they are still symbiotic in nature, but it’s now a constant back-and-forth learning and growing with each other rather than a transaction that is made between two people until it can’t be made anymore. she values relationships, more than she ever did before, and she treats them with care, tries to cultivate them into something that can last a long while.

cory: cory values relationships A LOT. she finds creating connections with people and loving others and forming these life-long bonds incredibly important, but because of her abandonment issues, there is also a lot of fear associated with creating these bonds. she is incredibly open and receptive to relationships, but her fear of having people leave her also makes her cling onto people. so she is an extremely loyal and caring person who cares about developing loving relationships and doesn’t give up easily, but she is also susceptible to holding onto people even if it isn’t good for her in the long run, because she can’t bear being let behind. 

isabel: isabel has never been good with relationships. whether it’s friends or romantic partners, it’s always been difficult for her to maintain relationships because she has always been so hyper-fixated on herself and her own goals. it’s not that she doesn’t value relationships at all; her family is one of the most important things in her life, and she will fight for them until the very end, but that’s sort of where it starts and ends for her. there’s also the added worry that, by getting involved in relationships (this mostly applies to romantic relationships), it’ll take away from her own goals and will make her less likely to accomplish them. so that’s why she will generally come off as cold and distant and uninterested. she is able to form relationships, but it’ll take some time.

39. What sort of questions or thoughts recur in their lives, either specifically or as a theme? Why are these never answered, or answered permanently to their satisfaction? 

jackie: a thought that pops in every now and then is what if’s about her life: what if she had never fled from the foster care system, what would have happened then, where would she have ended up? and a bit too general, but she’s obviously VERY OFTEN thinking about music, whether it’s themes to incorporate into songs, sounds or melodies that could be interesting to play with, stuff like that.

cory: questions related to her own value as a person, unfortunately. it’s still something she struggles with a lot, so it’s usually her questioning if she’s good enough for someone/something, worrying if someone who will leave her behind, etc etc. these questions are never fully answered bc it’s this constant battle between her trying optimism and the negative ways in which she views herself. this also sort of goes attached to recurring thoughts about her birth parents– she has no idea who they are and why they left her, and the chances of her finding them are slim to none, so all she can really do is wonder about them.

isabel: she thinks about her family a lot, just generally wondering how they are. she is also constantly thinking about her work, about what she could be doing better, what more she could be doing, because she is never fully satisfied with herself. and every now and then, she wonders at what moment (if the moment will ever exist) will she be comfortable with letting people in easily without feeling like it’ll somehow be a detriment to her own life and her own goals.

[robot-unicorn-attack]

☽ FLOWER, 25

“ I said that I am a fairy and they prefer to dance and fly as a butterfly but they made me talk and walk, and I hate walking and talking. ” —Sasha Pivovarova ( like something out of the RISE script for “Flower” ) 

Real Name: AURA PHILYRA  Agency: 𝑅 𝐼 𝒮 𝐸 (Sky World) FC: Ming Xi Unicorn Name: PAGEANT PRINCESS Place of Birth: Moon City    

Appearance: While Aura has not permanently altered her looks in any way, “Flower”’s image can fluctuate because of the “holo-veil” the RISE team insists she wear over her face in public, and of course, while racing. It’s essentially an undetectable face-mask that plays off of and digitally alters Aura’s features to give her an exaggerated doll face- ranging from the intentionally synthetic-looking (ex. large doll-ish eyes), complete glitter/tattooed face or even a face-scramble that confuses camera lenses to keep people from taking images of Aura without the agency’s authorisation while she’s out and about. Her naked face is hardly ever seen.

Wardrobe: Whatever fits within what the RISE image consultants call “Pixie-bot” which verges on creepy, fake-y “living doll” territory but with a fantasy element given her pretty steed is a Pegasus model. They were considering “Loli-bot” for Aura early on- because of her age they were sure she could pull it off. Aura would have stomached the aesthetic, too, just to get paid. Thankfully, however, the “Pixie-bot” idea was floated due to Pageant Princess’ particular winged model. 

[She’s definitely not against the pretty clothes and costumes- it’s the personality they want to go along with it that she dislikes.]

Places most likely to be found: Aura is either at the RISE training track with Pageant (practising or watching someone practise), asleep (snoring) in her teeny RISE apartment (the more important, the bigger the apartment- if that tells you anything), or since she’s promoting herself as Flower, RISE has her going out to club events on Unicorn City most nights.. and management says she isn’t allowed to drink anymore given her last indelicate drinking debacle. 

People mostly likely to be with: On the training track, she’s most likely to be with RISE’s training team (mostly techies who might as well be speaking a whole other language to her when they go on about Pageant’s internal mechanics), but she doesn’t really care for them. She also sees her teammates- Supernova and Sunbeam- there a lot, but.. they don’t really care for her. Otherwise, Aura’s out in the City’s nightlife with strangers and the occasional RISE babysitter dragging her around by the arm to make sure she sees and talks to everyone she should be (and avoids everyone she should be). She really can’t even make a friend that way, much less a love connection, so.. Aura’s pretty much a loner, but not by choice. 

Strongest character trait: of Flower: Sweet / of Aura: Obstinate 

Public Image: Aura plays The Long-Legged Bimbo to Supernova’s polished Heroine and Sunbeam’s beloved Sky-Daughter personas. [And- those really creepy “robot” ig models that are really just like cgi ? That’s the vibe- that level of weird perfection, and just as superficial and ditz-y. If you’re going to “Twilight” a racer- might as well go all the way with it.] Her “role” among her RISE companions makes her feel like a complete joke, but she’s determined to be taken seriously by making herself into a winner. 

Racing Strengths: Truthfully, there aren’t many by way of skill- just determination (and many years of tears of frustration). Dressage is a forte, with a big lean on Pageant who’s perfectly suited to the required elegance. 

Racing Weaknesses: All of it. Everything. Slow, but.. still coming for you. 

Personality: In reality, Aura is much more strong-willed and uses biting sarcasm with abandon. “Flower”, however, is the giggly, disarming costume that Aura dons publicly. Flower is confused easily, but fun-loving and excited to be where she is at any given time. She says “Oh !” in dreamy realisation a lot and smiles prettily even when she loses. But Aura, in private, feels a bit deflated, tired- maybe a little ashamed at what she has to do in order to stay relevant in the racing industry. Lately, she’s felt awfully lonely- because no one around her really knows her- but she tries to let it be enough that darling (though dumb) “Flower” is never alone and always surrounded by fans and icons. 

Biography: 

The eldest of five children, Aura grew up in the overcrowded rookeries of a little-known moon- whenever she talks about where she’s from, no one ever seems to know what or where "Moon City” is. So, to avoid long-winded (and perhaps embarrassing) explanations, she generally tells anyone who asks that she’s originally from Ice World. 

Aura was “scouted” by a RISE recruiter at the age of sixteen while on a trip to Unicorn City with friends to catch a race- the first she had ever seen ! Apparently, the recruiter liked her looks, but that was just about all the “talent” she had to give at the time as she had never even touched a mechanical horse, let alone ridden one- forget raced ! But, desperate to leave the slums of Moon City behind her for good, Aura quickly signed with RISE and was almost immediately thrown into the deep-end with her horse- Pageant Princess- only to embarrass herself in her first televised race by dropping in dead-last. Aura hadn’t expected to win or anything, yet it was still disappointing, and her management decided to set her aside for a few seasons- to train her, fix her image, cultivate a fan-base for her through a commercial campaign for uv beauty products, and within the last year, little promos that depict her as living in a little virtual fairy cottage on Sky World that she only leaves to dominate the track with the winged Pageant Princess and to attend various high-society Unicorn City bacchanals brimming with beautiful, glowing people. So far, it’s been a successful campaign and her fan-base is rapidly growing. RISE fully expects Aura to be ready to race in this new season- and more than just compete, but actually win. And, really, that’s all Aura wants- to win and cement herself as a serious racer among her fellows...and make the big money to share with her family back home on Moon City.

Though the inability to live as her normal self has taken a toll on Aura over the past years, she has at least been able to comfort herself with the knowledge that she is helping her family- that she is making them proud by working herself to exhaustion to become better- the best ! She means to win this season, no matter what it takes. 

Relationships:

Snow - Racer crush, actual crush. A much-needed ally on the horizon. Aura knows of Snow (who doesn’t ?), and has bumped into her at glamour events from time to time. They’ve only raced together once- years ago in Aura’s very first race (when she was a baby ((16)) !)- and naturally, Snow beat Aura...thoroughly. But that was to be expected. Aura’s followed Snow closely since Snow’s return to racing and looks forward to their next head-to-head.

Sky - 

Ice -

Supernova - RISE “Teammate”. Aura idolises Supernova and has for years, but she worries (and would be so mortified to know) that her hero really thinks of her as a fool who’s only good for getting sad drunk (once !) at company promotional events...where Aura may have vomited in front of her... Aura hopes that winning more races will convince Supernova that she is the real deal ! (Her ultimate dream would be to have Supernova mentor her !)  

Sunbeam - RISE “Teammate”. Okay, so Aura’s a little jealous of her because she’s the pride and joy of RISE and she seems to have the respect of Supernova ! And she’s pretty and talented ( unmatched technique~ ) and allowed to have her own personality- it’s too much for Aura to stomach sometimes. She really likes to avoid Sunbeam socially if possible.

Flame -

Nyx - **danger by taemin plays** Sol and “Flower” have met before, while Flower was relevant for a second as a teenager ( - they danced at a club the night before she finished dead-last in her first race ), but it’s been a while since their paths have crossed- though Aura is well-aware of Nyx’ success. Now that Flower’s back in the game, they’re sure to see each other more and more.  

Widowmaker - Aura is sensitive to ~vibes~, and she knows there’s something with Eleni. “Just look at the way she looks at me...” And, you know what, consider Aura intimidated. But even though there is some miscommunication between the two of them (most of which Aura is not aware of), Aura isn’t confused about the sort of racer Widow is- and she knows Eleni’s not to be approached lightly...but also, like- “What did I do~ to catch that death stare ?” It does bother her.

Playlist: 

sit still, look pretty by daya

favriel by grimes

alone by halsey

medieval warfare by grimes

i am the best by 2ne1

heavy metal and reflective by azealia banks

nightmare by halsey 

**sweet dreams (are made of this) by emily browning 

nightmusic by grimes, ft. majical cloudz

**from the ‘sucker punch’ soundtrack

Headcanons:

Owns Snow/S.C. merch- if Snow ever discovers the holo keychain, Aura will literally die of embarrassment. #aurivana 

Her salary is meager- but that’s because she earns almost solely for RISE at the moment with promos and brand deals. Everything she owns- the high-end couture and jewellry and even the holo-veil- aren’t really hers- they’re on loan from RISE. And whatever coin she does manage to earn goes straight to her family on Moon City, so.. she’s almost always skint. 

Aura’s RISE apartment is.. like a mouse’s hole, spatially. The bed is lofted above the kitchen area, and the bathroom is the only room with a door. A glass door- but it’s still a door. But the lighting is always an ambient, calming violet-to-indigo that reminds her of home. 

If she were a vine she would be the one with the child staring down the barrel of a squirt gun and he just says “shoot me”.

Aura’s RISE handlers- it’s usually a big guy named J.J. who is really just a strong-arm type (which confuses Aura- like, do they think she needs a bodyguard or are they afraid that she might run away if left unsupervised ? It’s unclear to her.)- do not let her drink at parties anymore. Not only has she nearly vomited on an industry icon (and personal idol), but she’s also broken character (a big no-no) to tell off the son of some CEO that apparently wanted to work with RISE on a future endeavour (oops). 

Yeah. She’s almost been fired a couple of times, but at this point, RISE has sunk so much money into Aura that, actually, the only fiscally smart thing to do is keep her around and train her up. 

*Daydreams about Marivana*  #secretsecrets

[thewickling]

Make it happy pls! XiYao forbidden marriage?

Oops, this was longer than I intended. Also going to tag @sarah-yyy because I feel like she would like this.

“You cannot marry him!” Lan Qiren shouted. “Do you wish to antagonize the cultivation world?” 

His face was a shade of red Lan Xichen had only ever seen on his uncle in the presence of Wei Wuxian. In this study, he could not count the number of times his uncle had vented his anger. His heart dropped to his stomache. He could not recall a single time this anger had been pointed at him. 

Lowering his head, Xichen knelt. He placed his hands in front of him and pressed his head into them. Channeling all of his sincerity into his prostration, he steeled his heart once more. He reminded himself, This is for A-Yao.

“We have already knelt to the Heavens and the Earth,” he said, lacing his words with determination. “He is my husband. If anyone wishes to—”

“Quiet!” His uncle’s voice twisted. “Raise your head.” 

Straightening, he made a soft sound. He swallowed his surprise. His uncle had not silenced him. 

“Xiong,” he said. 

His tone was so light that Xichen questioned if he had intended to speak that aloud. A thousand words were captured in that one slip of the tongue. His hand formed a tight fist above his desk, trembling with emotion. Lan Qiren stared both at Lan Xichen and past him. His gaze refocused. 

“Lan Xichen.”

Xichen lowered his gaze and nodded.

“You have brought trouble to our sect,” he scolded. “He may never be grateful for it.”

“I know.”

A growl infused with each phrase. “You may have saved him from death, but he is a proud man. You cannot save his soul. This is a worse fate than death to someone with pride.”

“I know.” Xichen bit his lip. He knew better than anyone how proud his third sworn brother was.

“Confining him here—” His tone harded. Disappointment joined the frustration— “Will never make him love you. You will be husband and wife only in name. The time he spends in the Cloud Recesses will only feed his resentment.”

“I know.”

He blinked. The image of his mother overlapping with his memory of Jin Guangyao. A shroud covered his vision. Tears did not gather in his eyes but an emotion that clenched his head. Something unnamed but unignorable. 

Smacking the table, his uncle ordered, “Raise your head!”

“Do you love him?”

“I do.” 

He sighed. All the years of his life raced in to fill his absent fury. In seconds, his uncle aged decades. His brow furrowed but not with disappointment or anger. The tight mouth, slumped shoulders, and half-clenched fist expressed something subtle that Xichen could not place. 

“Lan Xichen,” Qiren said, “Do not continue in your father’s footsteps. I cannot protect our Gusu Lan alone for much longer.”

He frowned. “I understand.”

“Go.”   

Lan Xichen lowered—

He hissed, “Raise your head.”

Sadness pulled on Lan Qiren’s eyes. A thousand emotions weighed down his words. He repeated softer, in an almost plead. “Raise your head, child.”

Xichen stood. Confusion cut through his movements. Watching his uncle like a hawk, he once more saw the expression that peered through the present and into the past.

As he left, his ears picked up half-muttered words.

“How can I bear to see…brother, they really are your children.”

Everything snapped into focus. The tone he heard was resignment. Xichen’s throat tightened as his heart dropped. Disappointment and anger he expected but resignment. The man who raised him speaking with resignment. 

Xichen closed his eyes. Gathering himself, he walked to the house that once held his mother and now held his husband. The clear skies contrasted with the heaviness of his steps. He froze hundreds of meters away. 

What right did he have to visit A-Yao? None. He gazed at the isolated house. Nothing moved inside. His heart slowed. A part of him prayed for A-Yao to open a window, to give him a glance before he went into closed cultivation. 

A minute pasted and Xichen continued on deep into the mountains. 

-

The silence gave him too much time to think, to play every moment he shared with A-Yao over and over. Each time he parsed his memories. His disappointment in himself grew. If he had only stood up to Nie Mingjue or supported Jin Guangyao better perhaps things would not have turned out like this. If he had a little more of his father’s hubris or his didi’s determination, it would have never come to this. 

A small voice whispered, And A-Yao would not have exchanged vows with you. 

A-Yao had made him discover this unpleasant child in him. A child who was greedy would turn over the heavens for what it desired and it desired Jin Guangyao. 

He could not bear to harm Jin Guangyao the moment he had seen A-Yao’s pleading eyes in the temple: how his lips quivered, how he could barely stand under his own strength, and how he begged Xichen to believe he had not moved to harm him. He must have loved the man long before that for love to crash into him like a tsunami. 

It was the journey back to the Cloud Recesses that he had stumbled onto this realization: he loved a man on the death block and could not bear to let him die. He recalled his father’s hubris and had Wei Wuxian witness them complete their three bows in front of his parents' graves.

His seclusion gave him too much time to determine the moment he had noticed Jin Guangyao when was still Meng Yao. 

Escaping from his sect with all the books he could carry, he made it to Yunmeng before his steps faltered. The Wen sect would capture him soon but he could better cling to the alley’s walls of he lunged forward, step by step. 

Turning the corner, a boy, his brother’s age, jumped back in shock. In coarse clothes, the teenager scanned Lan Xichen, taking in all the blood and injuries. He declared, “Daozhang follow me.” 

“No. It is dangerous,” he said; his hoarse protest cracked at the edges.

He smiled, grasping Xichen’s wrist lightly, “Come with me. I know this city like the back of my hand. The Wen Dogs won’t find you.”

Too exhausted deny the help, he leaned half his weight on the teen as they crept down the alley. In a careful voice, he introduced himself as Meng Yao.

Xichen immediately understood why Meng Yao had helped. Everyone heard how harshly Jin Guangshan had rejected this illegitimate child. Meng Yao must yearn to be connected with their immortal world. 

Shouts and clatter chased them down the alley way. They twisted and turned to voice people but he picked up more and more steps corralling them. 

“G—”

Meng Yao’s clever eyes darted around the buildings. Yanking on Xichen’s headband, he tore it off. His hands pushed his robe from his shoulders. Surprise allowed cultivationless teen to push Xichen into a wall. 

He shifted his own clothes off. Pulling Xichen’s head down, he wrapped his legs around Xichen’s waist.

Footsteps paused. Xichen felt a pair of eyes slicing past them before the steps picked up. A curse lingered: “shameless cut-sleeves”.

Minutes passed without a single sound. 

Meng Yao stepped back, holding up Xichen’s headband gingerly. “I apologize for any disrespect Daozhang. I couldn’t think of another way…”

He held up his hands. “Thank you.” 

Meng Yao grinned; his smile overtaking his face. 

It had to be then that A-Yao had captured his attention. He had seen Xichen at his worst and saved him. How could he not save Jin Guangyao in return. 

-

He walked the path down the mountain. His uncle having grown tired of his self-flagellation, demanded he return. His feet carried him past Guangyao’s house.

A breeze drew his gaze to the lonely house and to A-Yao’s face.

“Second Brother, come inside,” he said, from the porch. He walked inside, leaving the door open.

Xichen followed. His steps ghosted the planks of wood. A-Yao had rearranged the space. Nothing was were it had been when his mother lived here.

“I hope Second Brother does not mind the changes I made,” Guangyao paused, twisting his lips. “Or do I no longer have the right to call you my second brother.”

An arrow pierced his heart.  “You may refer to me as you wish.”

He bit down on a term of endearment; after all what right did he have to call Guangyao A-Yao. 

His clever gaze dissected Xichen. Each sweep of the eye was heavy. His mouth formed a tight line. 

“Did you believe me?” He asked finally. 

“Pardon?”

He stepped closer. “Why didn’t you believe Sect Leader Nie that day?”

“I did.” He had. If his hands had not been weighed down by weariness or he had turned any slower, he would have not captured Jin Guangyao’s shocked expression. 

“Lan Xichen,” he nearly shouted. “You married me to humiliate me, didn’t you? From sect leader to abandoned mistress? You! You don’t deserve to be called a gentleman.”

Xichen stood straight, frowning. Anything he said would not comfort A-Yao, but that did not stop the desire to embrace him from bubbling in Xichen’s chest. 

“Why aren’t you defending yourself?” He jabbed at his chest.

“I imprisoned you here. It is only proper that I allow you to vent your frustrations.”

“Why didn’t you kill me that day?!”

Nie Huangsang’s shout echoed in his ears. “I saw your expression.”

“Why did you hesitate?” He took another step forward. He analyzed Xichen from head to toe. 

Smiling bitterly, he declared, “Who can easily pierce one's heart?”

Confusion marked Guangyao’s mouth and bursted into shock. His mouth hung open and his hands formed a cage around Xichen’s shoulders.

“You heart?”

“Mn.”

“I knew you are too good a man to do something like marrying someone to humiliate them.” All the steam escaped from his body.

“Why, why would you force me to marry you.” He released and circled Xichen.  “I turned it over and over in my head for the past three years. I nearly went mad trying to understand what I had missed. How could you forgive me for what I did to our First Brother?” 

“I haven’t,” he confessed. The betrayal wasn’t fresh but it was there. Lan Xichen doubted he would ever forgive Jin Guangyao for that in this lifetime, but he loved him more than the pain. 

“Good. Or you would be too foolish to be my husband,” he laughed. The sound was low and self-deprecating. His gaze turned into slants. 

“Do you see me as your mistress?” he asked suddenly.

“No!” he shouted. 

“Then, we should share a house. If you have a wedding ceremony,” he said softly. “We’ll put the past behind us and live as husband and wife. As for why we had our ceremony so late, we can claim that you were recovering from an injury.”

He peered up at Xichen. His eyes glittered and his expression was sweeter than candied hawthorn. 

“Excuse me?” Xichen whispered.

“Marry me, properly.”

“Don’t you hate me?” 

Jin Guangyao shook his head.  

“I wanted to hate you.” He rubbed his face, tiredly. “I tried so hard but three years is enough time for my misplaced resentment to fade.” 

“Do you love me?” he asked. He could barely hear his own voice. The sound was timid and even lighter than leaf on the wind. 

“You are the only person who stayed beside me. I would be a fool not to care for you.” His smile was fragile. “If you would still have me, if there are still good feelings in your heart, I —”

Xichen closed the space between them. He kissed A-Yao like the air was poison and all the air was in Meng Yao’s mouth. A warm, buttery feeling erupted in his chest.