#who needs plans when my uncomfort streamer is streaming

[razorblade180]

Streamer AU 6

Number 5 <-

Weiss:*rolls into view*….I’ve returned.

Yang:The bitch is back.

Weiss:Wow! Okay, rude. It’s not like I really left. I was in your streams all the time. I just don’t feel like doing my own after missions.

Yang:And yet somehow you still have more subscribers than me.

Photo Bunny gifted 30 subs

Weiss:Oh my gods! Velvet, thank you so much!

Yang:And the rich get richer!!!

Weiss:She says, knowing I’m not rich anymore.

Yang:And yet the money still pours in. Chat, make her play a horror game for being gone for so long.

“Yes!”

“PLEASE!”

“Alien Isolation.”

Weiss:Absolutely not. We have plans already. I’m just waiting for my co-host.

Yang:What am I then?

Weiss:A person who saw me hit the “live” button and immediately hopped into call to call me a bitch.

Yang:It’s in all in good love.

The Reaper: “Ayo! Look who’s back!”

Yang:Ruby, call Weiss a bitch.

Weiss:I’ll un-mod you. I’ve learned to do that recently.

Ruby: *enters call* Oh gods, chat, she’s learning computers. Tech savvy Weiss is dangerous. Who taught her such power?

Weiss:Your girlfriend.

Ruby:Oh, sorry chat. My girl can do no wrong.

Protector of Friendship: “💚”

Ruby:What’s the gameplan today? “Just chatting?” We can play Uno again.

Weiss:You hate teamwork. I swear you do.

Yang:Sends us on a life threatening mission where trust is needed, just to ruin it a day later.

Thunder Thighs: “How was mission? Everyone okay?”

Weiss:It was just bandits. Lots and lots of them. Unfortunately they ruined a village so most of the expenses went to rebuilding the town.

Yang:Chat, this woman is only on camera right now because her power bill is scaring her. This cute face has a price tag.

Weiss:Hey! I actually missed gaming. It’s oddly relaxing when I don’t listen to Ruby’s suggestions. Or Blake’s.

Ninja of Love: “League actually isn’t that bad.”

Ruby:That’s what I’m saaaaaying!

Yang:Don’t listen to them. They’re ill and can’t be cured.

Weiss:*looks at scroll*…Oh, I’ll be right back. Yang, you’re in charge. *gets up*

Ruby:Why not me?

Weiss:Because Yang doesn’t play League!

Ruby:You two lack vision. The four of us could be our own team! We could grab a few more friends and train for tournaments.

Ren: *enters call* Ruby, you are way too toxic for that. *leaves call*

Yang:Hahahahaha!

Ruby:You can’t just show up to say that!?

Weiss walks back into view rolling a second chair next to her. She’s then handed a coffee cup she gladly sips as she sits back down, all nice and cozy. Sitting next to her is Jaune, chilling in her merch hoodie as he waves.

Jaune:Hello…

“Whaaaat?”

“Oh it’s the guy.”

“Hi Jaaaaaaune!”

“Nerd alert”

“Co-host?”

Yang:I can’t believe you chose the other blonde over me. How cruel. What does he have I don’t?

Jaune:*holds up Kingdom Hearts*

Ninjas of Love: “FINALLY!”

Yang:..I would’ve bought it.

Ruby:Alright, maybe you chose better than Uno.

Weiss:Okay everyone, you can guess tonight’s game. It’s not like it hasn’t won several polls.

Ruby:Oh! Oh! Weiss, sub goal idea! 80 subs and you have to do a cover of the opening!

Weiss:I haven’t even heard it yet!

Jaune:You might like it more than the song from FFX.

Weiss:….

Yang:She’s setting you up for success.

Weiss:…We will circle back to that. Speaking of FFX, same rules apply. I don’t need back-seating from chat. My wonderful co-host here will help manage the stream and aid me with anything I ask.

Blake: *enters call* Jaune, what version is that?

Jaune:It’s from the 1.5 collection, so final mix. Post the patch.

Blake:You’re a good man.

Weiss:Do you want the camera on you or is that uncomfortable?

Jaune:I’m okay. This setup is nice.

Ruby:Questions like these wouldn’t be an issue if you got a VTube model. Penny could hook you up.

Weiss:I only recently learned how to fix normal PC problems. Don’t put that burden on me.

Yang:What does OBS stand for?

Weiss:I saved your life yesterday. What’s your damage with me?

Big Bags & Miniguns: “Is this the mystery boyfriend we’ve been searching for?”

Weiss:Cocoa, you’ve known Jaune forever. He’s always been around as a mod.

Thunder Thighs: “That wasn’t a no.”

Jaune:I literally showed my copy of the game. You all know why I’m here.

Cardinal Pride: “As if she’d date someone as lame as-

Message Deleted

Photo Bunny: “Please remember the chat guidelines before typing”

Ruby:I would’ve blocked him.

Weiss:He gets one more chance. I’m in a good mood.

Jaune:That’s the Kingdom Hearts spirit. *puts disc in*

Weiss:This won’t make me cry like Final Fantasy did, will it?

Blake:Oh….sweetie….

Weiss:*inhales* Great.

Yang:I already made a crude layout for the singing goal. I swear graphic designers should be thankful I like cars and fighting Grimm more.

Jaune:Don’t have any lower goals?

Weiss:I’m 20 away from having to cosplay a character from a game I’ve played. They also get to vote on an emote.

BB&MG: “How many subs for a boyfriend reveal?”

Weiss:…*rubs chin*

Ruby:You’re thinking about it!?

Weiss:I mean I’d have to talk it over with him to see if he’s comfortable with others knowing, but also that goal has to be high enough for Cocoa to be scared.

Jaune:….This game isn’t terribly long, and you have new followers. Personally I’d shoot for no less than 300.

The Monkey King: “Bleed her dry. 350”

BB&MG: “I thought we were friends Sun?”

Weiss:350 it is! After I discuss it of course.

“You’re on!”

“You underestimate our power!”

“I swear if it’s Neptune.”

“Just wait until payday!”

Yang:Like I said, the rich get richer.

[outcaststars]

I've been streaming on twitch for over 4 years. I've made a great community and a wonderful group of friends but I've also had to deal with a lot of aweful people. Recently I've been feeling particularly upset about it all so I'm going to air all my grievances here. TW this mentions bullying, grooming, self harm and abuse. If anyone mentioned in this post trys to comment im just gonna delete it, i also dont care if your fav streamers is here, this is my authentic experience. Also dont go attacking anyone i mention here, the whole point of this is to be better then them.

Rat_emoji

The first streamer I ever had an issue with was Rat_emoji. It all started when I tuned into one of their DbD streams only to find him streaming another, younger, streamers live content.

He had just died to this kid playing Myers, he had TTV in his name and Rat was so mad about what had happened he streamed this kids twitch live to his viewers, all the while making fun of his appearance and stream quality.

A day later I would go back and screen record this whole interaction so I can share that if you want to see it. It felt so disgusting to watch this happen live, he has 100 viewers in chat and they were all being nasty. The only person who told him to stop was drag streamer Suttonfister (i think, 90% sure) who was in the same game and discord call at he time. the whole scene was aweful to witness, it felt like such an abuse of power. Rat didnt directly say anything mean but they made a lot of mean girl comments and didnt moderate anything cruel their chat said, it was obviously intentional.

After this I blocked Rat, it would have been easy to avoid him if he didn't found the stream team "Aussie pride", he got a lot of attention for that and a lot of praise and all of it made me sick. Funnily enough I heard that Aussie Pride was an aweful team to be in. The creators didn't care about the smaller members, planned no events and then disbanded the team with the release of Hogwarts legacy because they didn't want to take a stance on JK Rowling. Honestly it seems like the whole thing was a vanity project. That's why I don't like Rat_emoji.

Dcypherpup

DCpup was the first streamer I tried to network with. He hired me to make some art for him. He wanted me to work on merch for his channel, I declined, saying that I wasnt comfortable with the idea of someone else selling my art. I counter offered to just make him a profile icon, this way we could see how my style suited him and i could work out how to tackle the idea of eventually doing merch.

When the icon was done I sent him the high res file, he asked for my signature (my artist tag, a very small "outcaststars" in the corner) to be removed. When I asked why, he told me he needed it gone in order to upload it as merch.

Naturally I was upset. I explained that we had already made a deal not to do merch yet and I also explained that I was uncomfortable with the idea of removing my tag. I went on to explain why visibility was so important for artists. At the time I was a much smaller content creator and DCpup platform was much bigger.

He apologized and said he would give me a cut of the sales. I said don't bother and reluctantly let him do what he wanted. At the time I was too scared to make enemies so I fell into people pleasing.

I took more work from DCpup because I needed the money and I hoped it would be good for my channel growth. He would upload my work to his store and wouldn't credit me. I was frustrated.

The tipping point was after the final comm I took from him. An animated ending screen. During this process DCpup would message me everyday asking for updates which was annoying. When I delivered the final product he once again asked for my tiny, half transparent signature to be removed. I was so upset and defeated, I told myself I'd fight it but I didn't. I removed my sign from every layer, reanimated the whole thing and vowed not to take work from him.

After the piece was done he wanted to commission me again. I left him on read, then I found out what he was saying about me to other people. A good friend of mine showed me a message he had sent in his stream, telling him not to bother commission me, because I would be too busy doing work for him. I was furious.

Another week later I got raided by someone and told the new viewers to check out my work, it broke my heart when someone who looked at my insta, told me he had no idea I made all of DCpups stuff. Why would he? Dcypherpup went to ridiculous lengths to hide my credit. He was telling people not to contact me and not tagging any comm work with my name. One day he came into my live stream and I was so mad I banned him on the spot .

I wish I had done more to be assertive, live and learn. Funnily enough I found out he posted a big rant, telling people off for supporting JK Rowling when Hogwarts legacy released. Only to be called out for buying it and playing it on his steam, which he had forgotten to make private. He deleted the tweet. What a cunt.

Undertheredmoon and Greenypika

Redmoon is furry streamer that I use to really like. They were funny, had great energy and I would even go as far to say that they were a friend.

All this came to a grinding hault the day he invited furry artist and accused child groomer Daveoverlord to join us on Monster hunter rise live on stream.

Dave wasn't in voice chat and I wasn't reading Redmoons twitch chat at the time, so although I was aware of who Dave was, I didn't realize it was them. When someone messaged me about it a few days later I was mortified, I assumed Redmoon didn't know and I messaged them immediately.

I asked Red if he knew who Dave was and what he had done and the kind of artists he was friends with (cub artists). Redmoon ghosted me, left me on read for a week. I messaged again asking why he wasn't talking to me. He said he was too stressed to deal with this "drama" and didn't care to get involved. He mentioned that if Dave was guilty cops probably would have gotten involved and said he just wanted to focus on his own work.

When I asked Redmoon where he stood on cub porn, he stopped replying. We haven't spoken since.

The same person who told me about Dave joining stream also pointed out that Greenypika was inviting Dave onto his stream. They dm'd greeny and asked them if they knew and greeny said he had no idea and that he'd look into it. Greeny hadn't responded for a few months so I dm'd him with the same message and got the same copy paste reply. TLDR greeny knew and was just lying about it so I blocked him too.

Daveoverlord

Dudes a fucking groomer and now he streams. Blocked.

Cidermarten

Cider and I got into an argument once, the topic of which is no one's business.

His bf weyland got mad at me for it and vague tweeted about it so I decided to start a group chat with them to sort it out. And we did.

I apologised for what I did and cider took some time away from interacting with me. Everyone in this situation wanted what was best. And weyland is now one of my best friends.

Cider and I aren't as close as we could be but that's my fault. They're honestly a wonderful person and I appreciate their friendship. There inclusion in this list is to prove a point later but they're also the only person here who I think deserves success.

Stripeydragon and Break trail.

This one is complicated because it involves someone who ment a lot to me.

Back when the exclusive stream team Break Trail formed, my good friend Marsh joined the team. Being an artist he did a lot of the teams promo art of all it's members. Marsh had a lot of anxieties about the team because he was one of its smallest members and often told me he felt underappreciated or out of place. This feeling for worse when artist/streamer and fellow team member Stripeydragon decided he was going to do a redraw of all of marsh's promo work.

I didn't see Marsh much at the time but when this began he spent the better part of a week in my mod chat expressing how upset he was about it. It didn't help he was already anxious but he felt stripydragon was replacing him and even mentioned a time when he tried to give feedback on stripys work only for him to disregard it. Marsh was really fucking upset.

After stripeydragon posted the work my moderator, Ibn, who had been listening and consoling marsh for a week, decided to comment on the art publically. He said he didn't think stripyes version of the art was better and criticized him of slimming down the fater characters.

I wanna pause this to say I don't condone what Ibn did. He ment well but it wasn't his fight and he shouldn't have commented a critique on something no one asked him to judge. Don't do this. Anyway...

Stripeydragon fucking hated this. Not only did he respond to every tweet, he went into the break trail discord and rallied everyone to defend him and attack Ibn, a lot of break trail members also rushed to the comments to defend stripey and attack ibn. He also posted ibns comment in his own discord to encourage others to dog pile on. This shit got out of hand super fucking fast. Ibn was crying and marsh was pissed. It was betray of trust on Ibns part, but the way stripey responded was downright scary.

Shit was at its peak by the time I woke up (Australian timezone) and I immediately went into damage control. I gave Ibn a huge lecture, I was mad af and told him to apologize. I dm'd breaktrails stream team manager Mari, and tried my best to defuse the situation so that both parties could stop. Everyone deleted their tweets. Ibn apologised a dozen times and Marsh told everyone that ibn was just an asshole.

So the story everyone believes now is that marsh actually loves stripydragons work and Ibn is just a weird jerk. There where no consequences for stripydragons weaponizing a stream team and their fan base against someone on twitter. They're still a member of break trail but the team has been dead for a long time. I understand that Ibn was in the wrong and marsh should have just talked about his issues with his team. But this is another case of someone with a big platform and bigger ego not hesitating to use that to attack others.

Starkymorph

this one is fucked up.

Starky mods for a bunch of break trail members, so he had an inside look into the whole stripeydragon thing. Keep that in mind.

About a year after the stripey incident, I woke up to a message from starky. I had recently finished a commission for starky but apart from that we didn't know each other well.

He claimed that ibn had harassed him on stream by bringing up controversial topics and that because he was my mod he wasn't going to support me any more. I was pretty angry, Ibn was causing trouble again. I dm'd ibn and told him I didn't want to hear what he had to say and instead I just wanted the timestamp on Starkeys VOD so I could see what he did myself.

I watched the VOD and what I saw didn't line up with anything starky had said. He made the whole thing up.

What really happened was, starky decided to bring up "cancel culture" and went on a rant about how it was inherently bad and that anyone who participates in it only does it for "self-aggrandizing reasons". A lot of the shit he said was very thinly veiled right wing bullshit dog whistles.

Ibn asked him to elaborate and said something to the likes of "what about people who cancel pedos and rapists" and starky banned ibn and ended the convo.

Ibn didn't start the controversial topic and he didn't harass anyone. But starky was mad and wanted to attack him, he knew Ibn had a history of starting shit so he came to me with a bullshit story thinking I'd believe him and Ibn would lose his friends. And it almost worked.

I tried to talk some sense into starky, I pointed out that his original message was dishonest. Starky doubled down and made up more lies. He continued to claim that things happened during the stream that aren't in the VOD. He even bought up weylandshere and claimed he was harassing him too, out of nowhere! which if you watch the VOD is also completely made up. He said some ablist shit about "high functioning autism" aswell, its all really incoherent. Non of this is true and I downloaded the VOD so he couldn't hide the evidence.

Starky tried to use my argument with cider and Ibns argument with stripy as evidence that we were bad people. I found this really sinister, because my initial reaction to Starkys story, was that i believed him, pretty much everyone reacted this way. It upsets me that i was almost convinced to distance myself from my best friend because of a lie.

A ton of people didn't watch the VOD and took Starkeys word. Starky blocked me and started asking all his followers and mutuals to do the same. A whole bunch of people sub tweeted about ibn being an abuser and me being an enabler. It was fucking aweful. It went on for days.

This only stopped when Kyziethewolf stepped in and defended me. Even tho starky was one of his best friends, he had watched the VOD and told everyone he was lying. Starky doesn't talk to kyzie now and it really broke his heart.

A lot of people still believe starky and I lost a bunch of mutual streamers support because of this. It's one of the worst attacks I've suffered on twitter/twitch to date.

I found out a few months later he's added "outcast is racist" to the narrative he tells people and there's nothing I can do about that

This also basically ended my friendship with Marsh. I've known marsh for 7 years and hes a friend of Starkeys too. During this whole ordeal he never spoke up, it was only kyzie. I was really upset about this because i feel that Marsh could have made a significant change to how this played out if he had of just stepped in.

When he dm'd me a few weeks after asking if I'm make some free art for his project I told him no. I told him I was hurt. He said he just didn't want to get involved in drama. i think its really harmful to reduce harassment to just "drama". We've stopped talking.

Jayedskier

I met jayed though my friend weyland. I needed a 3D artists and he needed work.

Jayed had recently lost a lot of friends because during COVID he tweeted that people not social distancing at a furcon where putting disabled, high risk, people's lives in danger. Totally righteous imo.

He however also tweeted that anyone who doesn't where a mask should kill themselves and deservingly got a lot of hate and backlash. Lost a lot of friends. Since then he was pretty unwilling to comment on any political shit. Publically that is.

The first fight I got into with jayed was when Ibn reposted a Tumblr thread about the YouTuber keffals, and some of the problematic things she'd done. Jayed loves keffals so he dm'd Ibn about it and started a huge fight defending his favourite YouTuber. I stepped in to try and resolve the fight but no one was really happy.

This argument made jayed realise that he didn't have the same values as the friend group he was in. He liked keffals, he thought it was ok to say the R slur and he felt people should be allowed to support JK Rowling.

He left my discord and I contacted him trying to smooth things over. We talked for a long time and I settled on agree to dissagree the hopes to change his mind on some of these issues.

That didn't happen. Jayed kept starting fights about woke shit, even though he's a self proclaimed "leftist" and it slowly drove a wedge between us. He stopped talking to everyone in our friend group, unfollowed us all on socials.

Artists/streamer and friend Ixu had drawn a big group shot of all of us together. Weyland (who is in this friend group) was pretty angry about the whole ordeal so he asked Ixu for a version without jayed edited out. When he posted this jayed got super pissed about it.

Jayed tweeted about how unwelcoming my community was. Screen caped some DM's and changed the context. I was so angry, I had spent months continuing to offer my friend ship and trying to change his mind. One of the last fights we got into he said he was mad that "people" expected him to show support for Palestine and thats kind of the end of it.

This one hurt because it felt like a betrayal. Jayed you can get fucked dude.

Socksthewolf

This one is super recent and is basically why I decided to write this.

I can't remember how I met socks. They work in the games industry and they have a LOT of money/connections. He gives away a lot of stuff, Donates to people a lot. He very affectionate and Everyone loves him. I even accepted a bunch of charity/gifts from him and in return drew a bunch of gift art.

Socks success made a few mutuals of mine uncomfortable. He had a lot of money to put into stream so his channel grew insanely fast. I'm also told he made comments to some mutuals, comparing channel growth that made them feel bad. He ran multiple giveaways and got partner almost a year after starting stream.

There was some drama between socks and one of his mods. I tried my hardest not to get involved. Socks employs a lot of parasocial strategies in order to retain an audience so he flirts a lot and also has a persona of "I'm you dad" on stream. Idk if this counts as love bombing, but it feels similar.

I heard that one of his mods developed a crush on him and when rejected, he drank himself into the hospital. He almost died.

I spoke with this ex mod about it. He doesn't blame socks for what happened even tho he feels the rejection was harsh. I still feel that socks takes advantage of people with his gifts and parasocial friendship. This is a result of that going unchecked.

One of our mutuals found out about this and was really upset. They tweeted about it and tried to hold socks accountable. Nothing came of it.

I grew distant from socks when he started hanging out with Redmoon a lot. Because I felt close to them at the time I messaged him a about Redmoon and what happened between us. He never replied.

This story takes a dark turn when jayedskier, friend of socks, decided to make that tweet mentioned in his section. Socks also went in on someone jayed had mentioned.

This is about my good friend Weyland. Weyland had had someone very close to them pass away recently. Socks complied some tweets and chat screen caps, and made up a story of weyland threatening to kill themselves.

Some of the messages were about weylands dead friend. Socks knowingly changed the context and lied to make weyland look bad.

I honestly think this is the worst thing on this post. To use the death of someone and the personal anguish of someone and ammo for you bullshit story about them is fucking horrifying.

I replied to socks tweet about weyland, I told him what he was doing was wrong. He told me that he feels bad I'm surrounded by toxic people and that he hopes they get better.

After seeing the way socks treats his audience and the way he lied about another streamer, I genuinely believe hes some kind of abuser. Idk the vibe is REALLY off with this one. This feels worse then bullying, there's an ego about it. I've blocked socks on everything. Frankly they scare me.

Final notes

Anyway that's been my aweful experience with aweful twitch streamers. The whole thing has left me bitter and sad and I no longer want to interact with anyone. idk where to go from here.

Twitch TOS doesn't care what people say or do on other platforms. And with other streamers/mutuals so unwilling to get involved or show support I just feel alone.

I do feel compelled to speak up when I see or experience something I think isn't right. I think a lot of neurodivegant people, like myself, feel that way. But I think it's been terrible for my career. I hate the feeling that I'd be so much more successful if I'd shut my mouth and looked away. Maybe even be partner by now. I know a lot of this comes across as just "furry drama" but i think its reductive to label it as that. Content creators who engage in these kind of harmful behaviors need to be held accountable if we want to see any positive change. And im not saying that means "CANCEL" them. some (not all) of these content creators can still learn and grow and be better. Negative attitudes and dismissive statements of "its just drama" create a space for bullies to thrive

Finally, please PLEASE do NOT under any circumstances harass anyone involved in this post. This is not an attempt to rally the masses to lynch some people, im just telling my story so that next time you see someone come forward with claims about a content creator you like you'll see the situation differently.

If you made it this far, wow. Thank you. Dunno if I'll post the vids/screencap evidence. I don't know if I care enough.

[physicsfox7]

Teehee.

Another late night post. I wrenched my back reaching for my phone charger, and now I think I might sleep on the couch so I dont exacerbate it.

So I'm watching the McElroy brothers play Super Mario World, have a heating pad pushing on my ouchies. And with Christmas coming up, lets do a teensy thought bubble.

This year has been absolutely crazy. A year ago I was negotiating a ridiculous raise at my last company, as everything fell apart around us because they had just demoted the obly other project manager. Meanwhile, my boss and the owner of the company was in South America because he doesn't like cold weather.

Now I'm unemployed, Kenna has a job, and I've spent most of the year playing video games and napping. No job prospects as of now, but who knows what this week holds.

We used our tax return money to fund a dream trip to Japan. We got a whole house to ourselves, finally got passports, registered for the train pass, and planned so many things.

We skipped the trip because I couldn't hold my anxiety in check after opening up the Pandora's box of emotional mess that is me. And neither of us regrets it. We haven't complained that we missed out. Other than the loss of money (almost the whole fucking trip sadly) were good with it.

Now onto my all time favorite subject. My friends.

This year, I reaffirmed my love for many old friends, and got closer with a few. I lost a couple to differences of opinions, and I just can't bring myself to be broken hearted. They have hate in their heart, I just can't. Finally, I met people who changed my whole world.

Last year, I got to attend a friends wedding and meet him for the first time, and I thought I was going to die. We had a wonderful time, and the warmth of the hugs I got changed me forever.

Earlier this year, I befriended my beloved Oat. I have a friend that I can bullshit with, who can somehow get me talling about the deepest stuff, who makes me feel heard and felt. She helped me with so much, including my mental health, relationship help, self confidence, and my streaming. Oat, I think you'll see this. I need you on my stream again soon, I miss you! Forehead kisses!

Then in August, while streaming some batshit crazy stuff (encouraged as always by Oat! < 3) I got raided. I figured cool, another Zelda streamer, maybe we can help each other out. Tch, to underestimate something so drastically. Not only did she inspire me to up my streaming game, Rachine collabs with me, has brought me tons of followers, workshops streams and tech issues with me (sometimes live on air) and most importantly, become one of my closest, dearest friends. She pushed me to play some of her favorite games, and brought me back to FFXIV. She encourages me and inspires me to try new things. (And yes, you're always right).

She also let me join her FC, and opened up a whole new world of friends. I have befriended some of the warmest, kindest people who went out of their way to make me feel welcome. They run dungeons, they answered questions, they carried my ass.

Finally, Jengo (who is not online other than streaming. Purest of us.) Who is part of Rachine's FC. She was the first one to essentially insist I run a dungeon with her, she made time for me to walk me through my combos, has mentored my climbing skills, answers more questions than anyone.

All of them also sit in VC with me when I'm having anxiety or breakdowns, support me when I doubt, encourage me. They are my family and I just...

Look, I know I dont shut up about them. This isn't a grab for brownie points, it's not attention. Its me workshopping how to express my deep love and gratitude to them without making them uncomfortable or laying it on too thick. Maybe they never read this, maybe they never have to put up with it for the fifth time this week. How do you properly express it to them? Telling someone you love them only gets me so far. Even with Kenna. After 17 years, saying I love you doesnt feel like the proper way to tell her shes my world.

As I regularly talk about, I am not a brief person. I am almost pathologically incapable of keeping any kind of explanation short. After a certain point, a 60 paragraph diatribe on how important someone is gets tired. I love my friends.

Its been an up and down year, but I have to say I wouldnt trade it for anything. I need those people in my life, because I am a gigantic baby and the alternative is I have internet access and no friends. That would be worse than what you have to read now.

To my friends: thank you. I love you. Happy holidays. Thank you.

[tilehopper]

Re-Alignment [EN Version]

Hey, it's me your local anime dummyhead Rizki Salminen.

This isn't fandom post but since I have this place as a blog anyway, might as well use it for official announcement / longform thoughts.

No, this isn't a vtuber graduate or hiatus announcement, but I want to share my thoughts about the future of me, Rizki Salminen, moving forward in 2023-2024 and I want to explain it in a longform post to everyone and to my community.

This tweet from Theo about funneling past through my timeline recently, and it got me thinking about my path forward as a Virtual Youtuber. So think of this as like, the patch notes for 2023.

Before we get started, here are key objectives that I want to achieve in 2023-2024

Extend runaway until February 2024 (when Indonesia Presidential Election takes place)

Start building presence in Tiktok and Instagram

Increase VOD content (gameplay highlights, stream highlights, editorial commentary)

To achieve these 3 goals, there will be changes to content format moving forward.

Less Game Streams I'll just be honest with you all, the metrics for my gaming streams compared to Spicy Talk is extremely abysmal and after reviewing all the VODs for the past year or so, I realized that I am not exactly an entertaining streamer to watch when I play video games. So moving forward in 2023, there will be significantly less gaming streams. For the ones that have been planned for long term such as Grounded and Destiny 2 streams, those will still continue. And I am committed to continue hosting Halo Infinite Customs Fiesta with other vtubers and streamers across Southeast Asia at least once or twice a month. And I will still appear in other people's stream or collabs when they invite me to play on-stream, I just won't open my POVs

New Content: Spicy Bites @ Tiktok I've noticed from my followers that a lot of you prefers Tiktok as your go-to destinations for content. I am a boomer, and I still don't understand Tiktok and I have been struggling to make my stream highlights for Tiktok. So, I've decided to just make a dedicated content for Tiktok on Tiktok. Spicy Bites will be basically Spicy Talk you know and love in shorter format (like 2-5 minutes) that will be available on Tiktok and Instagram Reels. If I somehow made an even shorter one, I will post in on Youtube Shorts.

New Content: Spicy Meals @ Youtube (Tentative) And if I can make Spicy Bites routinely and consistently, I will develop it further into longform video on Youtube. The format could be editorial + stream highlights, it could be full editorial commentary. Who knows, we'll see how Spicy Bites goes first.

New Content: Spicy Talk Highlights! I know not a lot of you can watch Spicy Talk LIVE, so moving forward there will be edits of Spicy Talk that is more digestable and easier to watch on Youtube for those who missed it or want to save their data plans. I am preparing the final budget calculations for a part time editors, and I already have two candidates who are interested to do edits. I just need to write it down in contract (but I keep forgetting to do that) Moving forward, there will be a seperate channels for stream archive too.

And yes, that's my plan for 2023. Although can I talk about something deep from heart? (CW: Suicidal Ideations, you can skip this part if it makes you uncomfortable)

2022 was my darkest and brightest years. I was jobless for 5 months, struggling financially and I was frustrated that after I sent 120+ CVs nothing went through until recently. I feel like a burden for my family and on February 2022, I was this close of buying Ricinus communis seeds to kill myself. I already prepared letters and letters of will too.

But that didn't went through after I saw light in the end of the tunnel. And what was the light?

You. All of you. Whether you are just a follower of me, member of the Salmonheads, my IRL friends, and my vtuber friends, or even just mutuals online...you guys made me realize that if I'm gone, there will be people who feel hurt and miss me.

Because for the longest time, I always thought people would celebrate if I'm gone. People would be happy if I die or kill myself. No more Rizki Salminen who has been a burden and trouble for the family since he was a kid, no more the son of a mother who wishes he were never born.

So, thank you. To all of you. You have proven that what my family said were wrong, you have proven what I thought wrong.

I have found my 'voice' as a Virtual Youtuber thanks to all of you, and it is now my responsibility to hone and sharpen it so my "voice" can reach more people. I know this will sound parasocial as-shit but I love you guys because you loved me.

So yea...that's all I gotta say.

Thank you and have a great Christmas and New Year! I'll see you guys in 2023 wherever you hang out online.

With love, Rizki Salminen

[thissortofsorcery]

I posted 814 times in 2022

That's 814 more posts than 2021!

32 posts created (4%)

782 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shieldofiron

@heartbuckley

@ariesbilly

@imsodishy

@vhagar-apologist

I tagged 129 of my posts in 2022

#harringrove - 35 posts

#billy hargrove - 25 posts

#billy x steve - 9 posts

#mine - 7 posts

#billy antis dni - 5 posts

#sorcery says - 5 posts

#steve harrington - 4 posts

#personal - 4 posts

#max mayfield - 3 posts

#so cute - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#i’m not sure what the rules are for interacting with minors in fandom are but let it be known i’m 27 if that makes anyone uncomfortable

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Harringrove social media AU (in a season 2 setting because that is my paradise land) where Billy makes surfing TikToks as a teenager, with a really good following and a promising career as a pro surfer. Until Neil moves the entire family to a landlocked state, and Billy knows it's to punish him.

There could be several reasons for this:

-Billy is becoming too independent from Neil;

-Someone questioned a bruise Billy didn't cover up well enough and now it's all over the internet;

-Billy was caught with a guy he was seeing;

-Billy's mom saw his TikToks and tried to get in touch, Neil had been keeping him from her;

And now Billy's in a town in the middle of nowhere, Indiana, two months into the school year, and everybody expects him to, what, be chill about it? Not care that Neil can just ruin his life and his career on a whim, and there's nothing he can do about it? Billy's raging, Billy's seething, Billy's hurt, and no one wants to or can help him. Susan won't lift a finger or say anything against Neil, looks down every time his dad raises his voice or his hand to hit Billy. And Max- Max is furious with him, blames him for the move like he was the one who decided to pack everything, like he was the one who sold his board and packed the cars and bought the ugly house on Cherry Lane.

What the hell is Billy supposed to do now? He's a senior and he had no plans of going to college, hasn't even thought of applying anywhere. His account is going to die out if he doesn't post anything, and who can guarantee he can raise it from the dead in a year if he makes it back to California once he's eighteen? He needs the TikTok money to make it back to California anyway. He's screwed. He's so screwed.

On the other side of this, is Steve. Steve is a gaming streamer and youtuber, or was- is. He's trying, okay? But ever since- everything, he can't play horror games anymore. He used to stream horror games pretty much exclusively, had whole events for it, charity streams, sponsorships, and then the whole Upside Down thing happened, and he knows his role in it was minor, okay, he knows he was there just for the tail end of it, but a seven-feet tall monster with a flower for a face coming out of the ceiling of the Byers house was both his starting and breaking point, apparently.

His channel was pretty good. Pretty stable. Then he tried to stream Blair Witch about a week after everything and had a panic attack on stream. Things didn't get better after that.

Nancy got him into Animal Crossing, because it's soothing, so he streams that now. And The Sims. Needless to say, his channel took a pretty big hit, as did his reputation. Like Tommy H. says, he turned bitch.

But it's fine, everything's fine. He's got Nancy, he's got a loyal online community that stayed after everything, even if it's small and no one's anywhere near Hawkins. He's got his SAD (Steve After Dark) Streams for when he can't sleep. Halloween is coming up and he's maybe sad he's not doing Spooktober this year, but. Maybe on the last week. Maybe on Halloween Day. If Nancy doesn't want to go to Tina's party.

Billy and Steve collide pretty much the same way. Steve is on edge and Billy is on edge, then the world's ugliest dogs are let out, and Maxine sneaks out, and Billy finds her in a house full of boys and an 18 year old washed out streamer who lies to him about it. Next thing Billy knows he's waking up in a half-destroyed kitchen with an empty syringe two feet from him, car gone, and not a single person in sight.

On Monday, Harrington's face looks bad. It's been a while since Billy's felt this guilty about putting a bruise on someone's face, but he knows he lost it a little, that night. Went too far. He doesn't remember most of it, and Billy doesn't know if that's from whatever drugs Maxine shot him with or from just- anger. Remorse just clogs his throat and he can't breathe. He decides to stay the fuck away from Harrington.

And then Tommy H. just has to take pictures of them, make a damn video, post it to Instagram and TikTok and tag them both. Of course it goes viral.

Billy spends a full week in a state of panic. He fully expects Harrington to press charges now. 

(Steve, similarly, is panicking. He streams family friendly content now. He can't just get into fights. He can't stream until his face heals as it is.)

Billy feels even more like shit when his follower count goes up and his account sees more activity than it has since the move. Like it's a reward for beating up Harrington, or something. It's not right. 

(The same happens to Steve.)

So Billy has an idea. He wants to apologize to Harrington. Wants to make it up to him. Maybe he can help him get his popularity back, get his channel to how it used to be, somehow. And if it keeps his own account alive, well. 

It takes a little convincing, but Steve agrees. Dustin is trying to get him into his nerdy games, but Steve isn't sure he likes them. Steve's been having a hard time, since the second round with the Upside Down. He can't sleep, can't focus, Nancy went off with Jonathan. So maybe he wants a distraction, okay? Maybe he wants something that isn't life or death.

So Billy and Steve start a partnership of sorts. Steve films a couple of youtube videos playing co-op games with Billy. Branches out to TikTok, maybe. Starts bringing Billy to his streams, at first just to hang out and then to take over and play some stuff. Billy manages to burn down Steve's entire 9th generation legacy mansion on The Sims in 30 minutes. Billy and Steve play Dead By Daylight together, and Steve feels increasingly comfortable playing horror games with Billy around. 

It's working so well for Steve, he decides he wants to pay it back. So he teaches Billy to ice skate so they can make content for Billy's TikTok. Steve takes Billy sledding when it snows. Billy films Steve falling asleep in unlikely places during the day and not waking up when Billy piles things on him. 

Steve hunts down and finds Billy's old surfing board that Neil sold and buys it back.

At some point, Steve becomes Billy's best friend. If he could- If they could, Billy would- They could be more, Billy thinks. But they're all over the internet, and Billy doesn't think Neil watches their content, but word can get back to him really easily. People like to speculate as it is. It's a small fucking town. 

The climax would be, of course, getting Billy out of Neil's house. Getting Neil arrested. So Billy can be free.

(Feel free to explore and play with this AU as you like!!)

225 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

#4

Billy tried not to, is the thing. But it’s like his body has a mind of its own. It’s often like that when it comes to Harrington.

It was an accident at first. Harrington tripped just as Billy had been walking by, and his chest had crashed straight into Billy’s. The surprise of it had nearly sent them both to the ground, but Billy had managed to hold them both up somehow, grip tight on Harrington’s elbows.

He was so warm.

Billy had shoved him off, barked out a “Watch it, Harrington!” and walked away.

A month later, Billy can’t call it an accident anymore.

If Billy times it just right, he’s walking back from the nook where the vending machines are hidden just as Harrington’s walking towards them. More often than not, Harrington will trip on the uneven tile or be distracted with conversation. More often than not, he’ll bump into Billy.

Billy’s started to count down the minutes to this accidental touch everyday. He tries not to. But when the hands of the clock start inching closer to their lunch period he starts remembering it: the warmth of Harrington’s skin through his clothes. The hair on his arms when his sleeves are rolled up. The hardness of his bicep when Billy grips it to hold them both up. If he’s lucky, Steve might steady himself with a hand on Billy’s chest, right where his buttons are undone.

Billy shifts in his seat.

He didn’t use to be like this, during basketball season. Now that that’s over he finds himself looking for Harrington everywhere, hungry for a glimpse of his mop of brown hair, craving accidental touches.

Not so accidental, on Billy’s part.

Ms. Garret’s still talking about homework, at the front of the class. The clock hands are ticking, always closer to lunch, but never fast enough.

Billy’s leg bounces under his desk. The teacher’s going on about exercise sheets Billy’s not gonna turn in. He leans back in his chair, looks out the window. Casual. He’s not antsy. He’s not.

The bell rings.

Billy’s out of his seat like a shot. Harrington’s classroom is closer to the cafeteria. Billy takes large strides to the cafeteria, doesn’t stop by his locker on the way.

When he crosses the wide cafeteria doors, he slows. Tries to pinpoint where Harrington is. Like a sixth sense, he sees him a few feet behind him out the corner of his eye.

Harrington’s wearing the red sweater today, sleeves rolled up. His hair looks extra floppy. He’s talking to Wheeler, pointing to the vending machines.

Billy sets off.

It’s quick work. Shove coins in. Get soda. Watch out the corner of his eye for Harrington.

Here he comes.

Billy turns around.

One step. Two. Harrington’s sneaker catches on the broken tile of the cafeteria floor, and he crashes into Billy, a quiet “shit” murmured under his breath. Billy grabs onto him, one hand on a lean bicep, the other on a hairy forearm. Harrington gets his feet under him, but they’re still pressed close, hips nearly touching. Harrington’s hand is splayed on his chest, fingers wide, nudging under his open shirt.

“Watch it, Harrington,” Billy says. Not barks, not yells. Just says. His voice is rough, like he gargled glass. Their faces are close.

“Sorry,” Harrington mumbles, face going pink. He’s just an inch or two taller than Billy, but it feels like nothing. They’re so close. Harrington’s eyes flicker to Billy’s mouth, so quickly Billy might’ve missed it if he hadn’t been watching Harrington’s face so intently.

Without his permission, his thumb strokes Harrington’s forearm. Steve breathes in sharply.

Somewhere beyond them, someone drops their lunch tray, and the clatter lurches them apart. Like they’d never touched at all, Billy heads to the cafeteria doors, Steve continues to the vending machines.

At the threshold, Billy glances over his shoulder. He can’t help it.

Harrington’s heading back to Wheeler, Coke in hand. He sidesteps the broken tile expertly.

When Billy looks up at Harrington’s face, he’s looking back at him, with a little smirk on his face. It can’t be- Can it?

Billy shakes his head. Nah. No way Harrington would go out of his way just to bump into Billy.

He goes to his car to smoke it off.

272 notes - Posted December 13, 2022

#3

It takes a while for Billy to notice, but there’s something to the warm feeling that spreads across his chest whenever he sees Steve.

He knows he can’t get enough of Steve. Can’t get enough of how he looks at Billy from under his lashes when he’s flirting, of how he tosses his head back when he laughs, of the long line of his neck, of his moles.

But there’s something else to how their eyes meet across a room, a light to Steve’s eyes when they land on Billy, like-

It takes Billy a while to put his finger on it. It’s been a long time since someone’s looked happy to see him.

Every time Steve looks at him, it’s there. That glint in his eyes like, hey, there you are. It’s different than looking at Billy like he’s hot, Billy knows he’s smoking, but Steve looks at him like… Like his presence is something good. Like he wants him there.

Billy’s not used to that.

Steve’s sitting with Robin and Dustin in the corner booth at the diner when Billy comes in with Max, and he’s laughing at something they’re saying, but when his eyes land on Billy his whole face changes. His smile looks like it… grows, somehow.

He leans his whole body towards Billy and says,

“Billy, hey!” In that bright voice he gets when he’s happy, Steve’s happy.

Happy to see Billy walk in the door.

Billy’s sure his face is doing the goofiest, sappiest expression, looking back at Steve. Just grinning at each other like fools in the middle of the diner.

Just happy to be there, where the other is.

290 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

#2

Billy’s just put his jacket back on. His boots go on next. His earring dangles in his ear with the movement, and his back and ass ache when he rises back up. Sore.

It’s dark in the entryway of Harrington’s house at three in the morning, quiet and still hours before the sun rises. Billy hadn’t meant to fall asleep. But Steve had barely rolled off of him, one leg tangled between his, nose in his hair, and Billy was so warm and comfortable- He hadn’t meant to. It was a mistake.

He shouldn’t be there when Harrington wakes up, Steve would regret it for sure.

Steve wouldn’t want anything serious with a guy. With Billy.

He’s got his keys out of his jacket pocket when he hears it,

“Where are you going?” Steve’s voice comes from the stairs, hoarse with sleep, making Billy jump.

Steve’s in the middle of the steps with only his underwear on, the line of hickeys down his chest and halfway to his stomach that Billy put there fully exposed, a grumpy confused frown on his face. Arms crossed like he’s cold.

“I’m just heading out,” Billy says softly, unwilling to break the cover of the dark. It feels like they’re inside a dome, here in the entryway, close together but far apart.

Steve comes down the steps slowly, and his feet barely make any noise on the carpet. Billy doesn’t look away from his eyes. They’re not clouded with sleep, anymore, and they’re honed in on Billy like lasers.

“It’s the middle of the night, man,” He says, like Billy hasn’t left in the dead of night countless times before. Like they’re not used to hookups in their cars.

“Yeah,” Billy steps back, because Steve just keeps coming closer. “I’ll get out of your hair, princess. Go back to bed.”

He means to say it mean, but it comes out- soft. Like a whisper.

“Billy,” Steve says, and he’s smiling. Why is he smiling.

Steve’s hand touches his chest where Billy didn’t bother to button his shirt, his pinky nudges a nipple on purpose. Billy’s breath hitches.

Billy knows his eyes are wide, his mouth is open. He looks up from Steve’s hand to his face, and Steve looks so fond, so- He’s looking from Billy’s eyes to his mouth like he wants to kiss him.

He does kiss him.

Billy drops his keys. The need to get his hands on Steve’s face is sudden, urgent, like he has to hold on to him or he’ll fade away, or change his mind. He needs to hold Steve’s face to his or he’ll lose the press of Steve’s soft lips, lose the tongue pressing in to curl against his own.

Steve’s hands are clutching at his jacket tightly, pulling Billy in at the same time his body wants to press Billy into the door. It takes Billy a minute to realize Steve is trying to yank off his jacket, pulling roughly at his shoulders. He has to let go of Steve’s face to take it off, but he does it one hand at a time, and he trades it for pressing biting kisses into Steve’s mouth at the same time. He’ll hold on with his teeth if he has to.

Distantly, he hears his keys jangle against the floor, like they’ve been kicked away.

“Stay,” Steve pulls back to pant into his mouth. His eyes look right into Billy’s. There’s a look to them, half-scared, half-shy. Steve’s hands are tight on Billy’s waist. “Stay with me.”

He presses a kiss to the corner of Billy’s mouth, licks between his lips. Billy surges up, catches his bottom lip in his teeth, bruises a kiss on his mouth so intense Steve’s head moves with his nod.

“Yeah,” He says, and rests his forehead on Steve’s. Their noses brush together. “Okay.”

333 notes - Posted December 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Billy doesn’t know it yet, but a lot of things in his life change because of Steve Harrington.

Billy’s hiding in the library when he overhears it. He’s ditching calculus because he can’t stand Mr. Hermann’s voice on a good day, the way the old man talks like he’s shouting, and Billy’s head is still ringing from where Neil hit it on a shelf last night because he was late getting Maxine home for dinner.

Billy would normally spend his voluntary free period smoking outside, but it’s fucking snowing today- just one more thing to be grateful about December in goddamn Hawkins, Indiana.

That’s why he’s sitting at a table that’s kind of out of the way in the library, hidden behind the biology section. He yanked out a book about the ocean to look at the pictures to distract himself until next period.

That’s when he hears them talking. Harrington and Wheeler.

“Mike says Dustin’s driving him crazy,” Wheeler’s saying softly, from across the shelves hiding Billy. “He won’t shut up about you.”

“We’ve been hanging out,” Harrington says, just as quietly, and his voice sounds like it’s coming out through a smile. Billy tries not to picture it in his mind. “He’s cool, you know, for a middle schooler.”

Harrington says it like he’s annoyed, but his tone can’t be anything but fond. It’s ridiculous. Billy’s seen Harrington driving around the dweebs Maxine’s friends with, has seen them at the arcade and at the diner, so he knows Harrington’s been hanging around them like an overgrown mother hen. Billy can’t make sense of it.

“You seem better,” Wheeler says, after a moment of silence, and there’s something hesitant about it. “Lately, I mean. Lighter.”

Harrington doesn’t answer, and Billy wishes he could see what his face looks like. He’d noticed Harrington had been looking rough since November, even after the bruising had faded, with bags under his eyes and hollow cheeks. A blank stare, like he was somewhere else in his head.

“Dustin’s a great kid,” Harrington repeats, kind of distantly. Then in a rush he says, like the words will disappear if he doesn’t get them out, “He’s been calling me in the walkie some nights. He can’t sleep either.”

“Oh, Steve…”

“So we talk a lot. About, you know… Being there for him, it helps.”

They go silent. It’s clear something happened to the kid, and to Harrington, and Billy doesn’t care- except something happened to Max, too. She’s been quiet, and spooked, since That Night. Billy wonders if whatever happened to them happened then, after they left him drugged on the floor.

“I always wanted a little brother,” Harrington cuts through the silence. Wheeler makes a soft noise like she’s listening. “I hated being alone all the time. I thought it would be like having a friend for life, you know. Then I got older, and my dad… I don’t think… I think that if I had a brother, my dad would make us resent each other,” He says, like a confession, and it sits like a stone in Billy’s stomach.

“You can’t know that, Steve…” Wheeler says softly.

“No, I know. It’s just a feeling,” Billy hears Harrington shift, then the shelf wobbles, like he’s leaning on it. “You know what my dad’s like, with me. I keep thinking, if I had a brother… He’d be comparing us all the time. Pitting us against each other. Makes us tell on each other. To make sure we were alone. I don’t know,” He huffs, and mocks himself with a little laugh. “Like you said, it’s stupid.”

Billy has to swallow past a lump in his throat. His hands are clenched into fists. It sounds a little too familiar, Harrington’s feelings about his father. Neil knows how to be an asshole too, especially about Maxine, and being a good big brother. Makes a point of disciplining Billy about it. Except all it does is make him hate Max.

“Maybe it’s not,” Wheeler says, and her voice is firm this time. Maybe she’s holding Harrington’s hand, even. “He really is an asshole.”

Harrington snorts, but it’s still a little sad, “Thanks, Nance.”

Billy sinks lower in his seat, careful not to make noise. He feels suddenly exhausted. The ringing in his head feels worse than ever.

“This is better, with Dustin,” Harrington says. “He’s awesome. And the other kids too.”

And my dad can’t touch him, he doesn’t say, but Billy hears it all the same.

Eventually, Harrington and Wheeler leave and Billy’s alone again behind his bookshelves, with the marine biology book he hasn’t looked at in half an hour. Harrington’s words don’t leave him though.

Billy knows his resentment of Max mostly comes from how his dad treats her, he’s aware enough of that. He hates that she never suffers the consequences of the shit the does, that she can do no wrong in Neil’s eyes, that she and Susan make up Neil’s idea of a perfect family and Billy doesn’t.

It hadn’t occurred to Billy that Neil could be doing all of it deliberately. This whole time he thought his dad wanted him to like Max - wanted him to be a good big brother. He never thought it could be all a part of a different game, to make him hate Max and make Max hate him.

What was it that Harrington said? To make sure we were alone.

Easy to control.

That’s what Neil likes, isn’t it.

Billy ends up ditching the rest of the day. He can’t stomach the thought of sitting in a classroom listening to teachers droning on about shit while his head’s buzzing with memories trying to reorganize themselves. This can’t be right. He can’t have gotten it this wrong. Billy’s too old to be this dumb, to fall for this shit.

See the full post

418 notes - Posted December 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[keefwho]

May 15 - 2024 Wednesday

10:26pm

4/10

This morning I woke up and used the bathroom. I was messaging TK about her new job and told her about some stuff I've been going through. She offered to call and talk about it which we did and it was a big help. All I really needed was to talk. During that I fixed the wifi connection on my sister's laptop, I don't know what was wrong but I got it. TK and I talked for over an hour which left me late to shower and breakfast. I took a quick one and threw a can of spaghettios in the microwave for a quick meal. I decided not to stream today and spent time with BR and JG while they were available instead. BR was gone for most of it so JG and I had a nice chat together. I didn't expect that, he's nice. I skipped my warmups today and worked on GZ's comic commission for only 90 minutes on and off. As usual, not streaming took a toll on my focus. I regret it, I feel like I didn't try hard enough. I tuned into Henry's stream to relax and then I wrote about my abandonment fears. I finished that in time for lunch but instead of cooking, I chopped the peppers and sausage I had in the fridge so I could freeze it all. I wasn't hungry and didn't have much time left for lunch so I made a pack of soup, a different brand than usual. It was 2 months past it's sell by date but that was okay, I made it and it was good.

Running off the regret of earlier, I buckled down to get today's request done and worked on an AI redraw of princess celestia. I was pretty rough at drawing today so I didn't make much progress but I did put in the time at least. Then I worked on my pony avatar and added visemes and experimented with how I'll make the eyes. I had joined TK, NJ, and MK in called for work and for awhile afterwards when it was chill time. I vacantly played KSP while they talked and at some point NJ started looking at the just chatting section on Twitch, largely looking to judge female streamers. It was a sort of joke at first but he made me legitimately uncomfortable with what he was doing. Basically calling every single girl either dumb or a whore based on their appearance/voice. And of course the classic ranking of their bodies. I admit I don't like their content in general either but I wouldn't shit on them for it. I got the impression this guy REALLY hates women and I started to call him out for it. So was TK, in a joking sort of way but I think she was serious too. I was legitimately disgusted this evening and if this kind of behavior keeps up (and if they keep saying the N word on occasion) then I'm not going to be attending that VC anymore. I'll just have to hit up TK one on one. After that fiasco, they started watching an anime about monsters and hunters and the lamest hunter ever or something. It was kind of interesting but VERY generic to me. It also made me uneasy with how much horrible death there was in the second episode and how pitiful the main character is. It definitely appeals to people who think that are actually the lamest people on earth, hoping they will experience a miracle that makes THEM special like they always wanted to be. I left when DS was in bed but they were all about to disband anyways. DS brought up how her weekend sleep schedule has to change which I was aware of, it was perfectly reasonable. I feel embarrassed that I was so worried before about things, it highlighted just how bad my trust and security issues can be. I had a lot to think about today. We did our puzzles and caught up on yesterdays. She also told me all about this furry character in charge of some events abusing his power and doing some shady shit. Then it was sleepy time. While she slept I played KSP and made a moon lander for Iota. It went great. Then I did my dishes, brushed my teeth, and I plan to watch Burke play this new WWII game while I'm in bed.

Things were really hard today in general. I've been doing a lot of beating myself up. I've been feeling sort of hopeless and lack motivation in general. Such a big part of me SCREAMS that things are falling apart and that I can't count on anyone in my life to stick around for any length of time. They are illogical feelings but feelings usually are. I just don't have the mental energy to do what I think I need to do. I'm exhausted.

I had a lofty idea though. Im thinking about reserving maybe 4 days where I'll get into VRchat nonstop aside from showering, cooking, and sleep. But I'll be completely alone the whole time. I'd turn off discord and only go to invite only worlds. The point would be to do something sort of like when people go into the desert to find themselves. But I'd be in a virtual world. I don't know if this would defeat the purpose but I could stream it on Twitch too, just with no chat and with my mic off. This is something I think I want to do when I get the spare days. I think if I can commit to that much alone time, I should realize some important things and hopefully come out much better because of it.

[em-allay]

Wilbur: starts streaming

Me: welp there goes all my plans

[etherrreal]

“the things you do for charity”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff Summary: kenma's always been a private person, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his partner off his streams while you live together; so, he decided to join his two loves together for a 24-hour charity stream extravaganza. Word Count: 3,408 Warnings: some swearing, i suppose there are some spoilers from the manga about adult kenma's job? A/N: i'd give my left tit to play some minecraft or mario kart with kenma tbh -Luna

Kenma's career as a popular streamer was one of the many facets of him that shocked you when you’d started dating two years ago. The two of you had first met in an Animal Crossing discord for your city meant for trading and making friends.

After you had gone over to his island to adopt Raymond from him, he let you keep all of your Nook Mile Tickets with the stipulation that you kept in contact with him to "give him updates" about how the cat villager was doing in his new home. His dorky way of trying to flirt with you was what made you pursue him in the first place, and somehow it had led to a very fulfilling relationship.

It was revealed early on that he was a streamer, but he never expanded on it regarding the actual numbers. Curiosity got the best of you one night, and you decided to google him. Besides also learning that he was a YouTuber, you found yourself in awe at the numbers he managed to accumulate across all of his social media.

And if that wasn’t enough, he was also apparently the CEO of his own business.

Once you moved in together around the one-year mark of your relationship, you got to properly witness the amount of work put into streaming and maintaining a social media presence. This also meant that you got to read the wild comments that were left on all of his platforms–and see the occasional surprise nude picture whenever he opened up his DMs around you.

Because of this, Kenma sat you down to have a conversation about your potential appearance on his social media. You both decided by the end of it that his audience would get to know that he was in a committed relationship, but you agreed it would be best to not show your face or reveal any identifying information of yours.

It had been a year since having that conversation, and you’d both stuck to the agreement closely. The most his audience had ever seen of you was your hand whenever you refilled his water bottle for him.

Of course, it was hard sometimes, especially when you had to remain extra quiet around the house and refrain from yelling out a 'baaaabe' whenever you needed something from him, but since he had his own soundproof office, it lessened the room for any accidental error.

Overall, you were content with never showing your face to his audience for the rest of his career. You knew how nasty the internet could get because of their parasocial relationships with influencers and streamers alike, especially when they discovered those influencers and streamers had a partner who wasn't them, even if they knew they never had a chance. You weren't sure your skin was thick enough to deal with rabid angry stans.

Which is why it was so shocking when Kenma decided one day to nix the agreement.

You were in your shared bedroom answering some emails when he came in. He was dressed in a baggy hoodie, sweats, and tied-up hair; his typical look for a stream.

After some time, you noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, not saying anything. When you glanced up at him, you found him awkwardly toying with the strands of hair that had fallen out of his bun, looking down at the ground like he was just waiting for you to notice him.

"Is there something you need, baby?" you asked. "You're just standing there all adorably shy."

"Yeah, so, um, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend to raise money for charity."

"Oh, really? Cool! I guess that means I'll be going to bed alone that night," you joked.

"Yeah, I guess. Um..." He started before scrunching up his face like he was uncomfortable with what he planned to say next.

"What is it? Do you need me to stock up on snacks and energy drinks? Just send me a list. I can pick  them up tomorrow."

"No, that's not it. I was thinking of making a stretch goal be you coming on stream so we can play Minecraft or Mario Kart or something...I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable. I could always replace it with something else. I know they've been wanting to see me dye my hair a bright color and dress up like an e-boy, so--"

"Really!?" you nearly yelled.

"What? That they want me to dress like an e-boy? Yeah, Kuroo said it would–"

"No, I mean..." You tried to fight the confused expression that was growing on your face, but your squinted eyes gave you away. "You really want me on your stream? Like face and all?"

"....Yeah, I really want to be able to share this with you. But don't feel like you have to do it just to make me happy."

It was a large ask when looking at the full picture. Kenma had his fair share of fans and "stans" who lacked boundaries, as seen from a select few who visited your home several times this year, or the handful that found you on social media already just from seeing a glimpse of your college ring on the hand wrapped around Kenma's water bottle.

There could be a chance you could receive direct hate on your social media just because you were a person who dated a popular streamer. You would then be in the public eye with little privacy and have a magnifying glass on all of your actions and words. Anything you did would then reflect on Kenma.

What if you messed something up and then Kenma lost viewers? Would they try to cancel you or him for it?

You backed away from all the negative thoughts before you could spiral and looked at the metaphorical 'pro' column.

If you agreed to appear on his stream, you would no longer have to sneak around your house in fear of being heard or showing up in his face cam. You both wouldn't have to feel guilty playing games off-camera with each other because you knew Kenma could be streaming it instead.

And who knew? Maybe his fans would like you. You had to admit, it would be a nice ego boost knowing that you were accepted by so many people.

And, most importantly: you could physically ask him in person what he wanted for dinner instead of texting him and waiting an hour for a break so he could respond, while you sat in the next room, starving, stuck in an endless cycle of wondering whether you should make a snack or if you should just hold off for dinner.

Maybe this was a good idea.

"Okay,” you decided, “I'll do it."

"Oh... alright. Cool." Kenma was trying his hardest not to show how excited he was that you agreed. When he saw the contemplative look on your face, he was sure you would decide that it'd just be too much work and say no. But hearing you agree made him giddier than he would ever admit to.

Despite the cool and collected façade he thought he was putting on, you saw the smile that threatened to break through and the red tips of his ears. You wondered if he felt the same weight being lifted off his shoulders as you did, knowing that, after this weekend, you'd both be finally out as an official couple to the world.

And, of course, the nausea of having to do all of it live in front of thousands of people. No biggie.

Saturday afternoon came and at 12pm sharp, Kenma began his grueling 24-hour charity stream. The bar had an overall goal of $150,000, and it began filling up at a constant pace right from the start. Donations ranging from $5 to $500 were flowing in rapidly, and you were trying your best not to feel nervous.

You both agreed that if he reached $50,000 within 5 hours, you would join him for an hour or two of Minecraft later that night. Part of you hoped that the donations would slow down and plateau for a bit, but when you saw Kuroo had donated $1000, specifically with the message that he hoped to see you on stream soon, you realized that it was a pipe dream.

So, you had to be your own hype person for now, to get prepared to show your face to thousands of people and not disappoint Kenma.

Whether it was the promise of your face reveal or the people who genuinely adored charity, it took only four hours for Kenma to break $50,000.

When he saw the number update live on stream, the viewers witnessed the most amount of expression Kenma had ever shown: eyes wide as saucers, mouth slightly agape, body frozen. You could see the gears struggling inside his head struggling to turn and comprehend what they all managed to do so early on in the stream.

"Thanks so much, everyone, for being so generous today... I guess this means we'll be having my partner on later tonight," he announced. You watched his chat explode with excitement, his special emotes flying in the chat.

You picked up your phone to shoot Kenma a quick text.

[you]:: hope you're ready to put our minecraft beds together in front of thousands of people 😏

Unsurprisingly, he left you on read. But dating him for this long meant you weren't even a little bit afraid of double or triple texting.

[you]:: maybe we can kiss under the light of an exploding creeper 😫

[you]:: or have a romantic walk through our rainbow sheep while a phantom looms overhead 🥰

It was after the third text when you finally saw him pick up his phone to text you back. You eagerly awaited his response, only to cackle when you read it.

[my sugar daddy]:: im going to replace you with hinata as my partner if you dont stop

Instead of annoying him any further, you set your phone to charge on your nightstand and went into the bathroom to get ready for the stream later.

Once you emerged, you picked up your phone to check the percentage and noticed a text from Kenma stating that he'd have you on at 8pm. You decided to spend the time until then cooking up some dinner for the both of you.

It seemed like time flew by because by the time you were done eating your food, it was 7:45pm. Only fifteen more minutes before you were live in front of all of Kenma's supporters. You refilled your water bottle and sat on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. as you practically dissociated from reality until Kenma came out of his office to retrieve you.

You noticed that he looked just as nervous as you did, despite his face not showing it the way yours did. His shoulders were up to his ears with tension, and his hoodie drawstring was pulled almost all the way through due to him fiddling with it.

He turned briefly to you after he brought you into his office, gesturing to make sure you knew to wait until he gave you the cue. He sat down, unmuted himself, and took down the 'away' screen he had for his audience.

This was it. Everything was going to change in literally ten seconds.

"Well, everyone...please welcome my partner, (Y/N)."

You walked cautiously around his large gaming chair and sat next to him in your modest desk chair that he had rolled into the room for the occasion.

Okay, you thought to yourself, now don't fuck this up.

"Hi, everyone."

Nailed it.

There was a painful moment of silence before the stream finally caught up, and you both heaved a sigh of relief when you saw nothing but declarations of excitement. Amongst the 'AHHHs' and spam of emotes were sweet comments about your appearance and how cute you two looked as a couple. You peeked over at Kenma and saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, elated to know that he was just as relieved as you were.

"Okay, let's start with the gameplay while we answer some questions," he said.

The questions and gameplay started out mild; when did you both start dating, how did you meet, who asked the other out first. They even asked a few simple questions about you specifically, like your favorite anime and your star sign. And while you did see a few bans in the chat after some inappropriate questions –no, you will not tell them the color of your underwear– most were easy and simple enough to answer.

Then they started to get a bit spicier.

"Bokutoslefttit donated $69.69 and asked, 'what is your main pet peeve with Kenma?'" he read, muttering a 'wow' under his breath at the username.

"Ooh, how can I be polite when exposing you?" you pondered while beating a cow to death with your sword. "It's probably how loud he gets whenever he's playing games with his good headphones on."

"I don't get loud," he defended.

"Oh yeah, you do. I've had to come in here several times to tell you to shut up like I'm your mother. I did it literally two days ago when you were playing with Lev."

"... Next question."

You rolled your eyes at his lack of comment but glanced over at the chat to pull up a new question. You stifled a laugh when you read, "Girlboss420 asked 'who has a fatter ass, Kuroo or (Y/N)?'"

"I'm not answering that."

"Come oooon, this is a Q&A. Can't have the Q’s without the A’s."

"Nope."

You were about to start reprimanding him for implying that Kuroo's ass was fatter than yours when you noticed he ran past you with a group of pillagers following closely behind. You turned to head into the house but when you opened the door, you noticed it was blocked off by obsidian.

"You are the absolute worst!" you exclaimed.

You made a break for it, sprinting past the shooting pillagers and around to the front of the house. You made it inside with only 2 hearts to spare. You turned, in real life, to Kenma to see him tight-lipped to avoid smiling about his betrayal.

"I'm moving my bed downstairs for the rest of the stream."

You both carried on with the stream without another incident, turning to the chat every now and again to answer some questions. Kenma even apologized to you by bringing home a horse that was named "I'm sorry."

It was about an hour and a half after you sat down when Kenma decided that he needed a bathroom break. Your heart fell to your ass when you realized that you'd be all alone to entertain his chat. You considered saying that you needed to pee as well, if it meant not having the spotlight on you.

Instead, when he got up to pee, you smiled and asked him to bring you back a snack and a refill. Oh, how the turns have tabled.

In the meantime, you decided to scroll through the chat and some of the donations to pick out another question to answer since Kenma was gone. You were initially looking for a funny or vulgar comment when you saw one that had a completely different vibe.

"Kermithateblog donated $25.00 and asked, 'what's your favorite part about being with Kenma?' Wow, that's a really sweet question. Let me think for a moment."

You paused to reflect on your relationship with Kenma over the two years you’d been together. You'd had your fair share of highs and lows like any other couple, but, in the end, you both learned how to work things out so you were both equally as happy in the relationship.

"So, as you guys know, he's a busy boy with streaming, creating content for YouTube, and also being a CEO of his own company, which all takes up the majority of his time," you began. "But when he finally can shut off his screens and crawls into bed late at night, I know that he's 100% there with me at that moment. He is able to give me his undivided attention and make me feel like his love for me comes above his love for gaming."

You gave a pause, trying not to get too emotional. You rarely got the chance to gush about Kenma because you knew how much he hated having attention on him, so if this was going to be your only opportunity to do so for a while, then you were going to take it.

"What y'all don't know is that he is the biggest baby when it comes to cuddling," you laughed. "He is absolutely the little spoon most of the time, and he loves when I stroke his hair and love on him all night. In a weird way, it makes me feel special and loved knowing that he trusts me enough to be vulnerable with me. I cherish the amount of time we have together because of that."

What you didn't know was that he had come back from refilling your water bottle rather quickly and stood outside the doorway to hear your speech. His heart almost burst when he heard your tender words describing how he made you feel. He knew that you rarely got to hear how much those quiet moments at night meant to him because he was guarded with his feelings.

Which is why he started into the room on a mission.

You smiled as soon as you saw him. "Welcome back, babe, we were just talking about--"

He approached you swiftly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You hardly even got to bask in the moment before he was pulling away, setting down your water bottle as he sat back down with his controller in hand like he didn't just expose to his audience how much of a softy he really was.

It was in that moment when you realized how glad you were that you’d decided to appear on stream because you'd be able to look back at that clip over and over again to relive the intimate moment.

Noon on Sunday came at last. Kenma would finally be free from the prison of his office. Not to mention he could finally get off his ass and stretch.

Between your official appearance on stream and the sign-off, you popped in a few more times to say hello to the chat when you brought him some snacks and drinks. You stayed up through most of the night, although you accidentally napped for a few hours during the dead of night which gave you a little boost in energy.

In the end, the stream was a monumental success. Kenma had even managed to blow past his goal of $150k and make it to over $200k, which meant that he'd be getting the full e-body makeover for his next week of streams.

By the time Kenma came into your bedroom after freshening up and having a small snack, you were already dead asleep with your laptop propped open to show his now offline stream.

He tip-toed around the bed quietly, closed your laptop, pulled the covers up and over your curled-up body, and slipped in himself. As he settled, he felt you shift and grab at his worn t-shirt, opening your eyes slightly just to confirm that it's him.

He pulled you against his chest tightly, his body finally able to relax. He was sure it wouldn't be too long before he completely fell out.

"That was more fun than I thought it'd be," he heard you utter quietly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." His fingers gently danced across your shoulder blades as you mushed your face into his clean shirt. "I can't believe we raised so much today so quickly."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You worked so hard on this."

"I also donated $2000 anonymously to speed up the process," he mumbled sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head in hopes to lessen the blow of his secret.

It was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if he’d genuinely pissed you off before he felt the vibrations from your laugh against his chest.

"...I can't wait to ruin your hair, e-boy."

Written by: Luna

[technowoah]

could you pls do a karl jacobs x reader with 9 & 11 from the fluff prompt list? fem or gn pronouns are fine!! <3

Crush Culture

karl jacobs x reader blurb!

Thanks for the request!! I hope you like it 💓

9) "Dumb ass I love you" "That was aggressive-"

32) "Oh shit you're Jealous?!"

(They changed the number from 11 to 32 btw)

⚠︎ swearing, jealousy, angst, fluff at the end, not that much dialouge, unrequited love, I didn't proofread..sorry

Masterlist!

Karl was such a sweet and caring soul. He would do anything for anyone, but sometimes that got in the way of your plans.

You and Karl lived in the same area, well you both found out you two lived in the same after planning to do a streamer meetup to show both of your fans. He had thought you lived further away, so when you both showed up at the selected place at the same time you both realized you live in the same state.

Ever since then you two hung out more and more, fans thought you two were dating because of how many times you showed up on Karl's streams instead of your own. You both debunked the idea multiple times but fans still insisted that you two were lying, jokingly saying that you were replacing Sapnap.

After a months of hanging out, having sleepovers, listening to his laugh, looking into his eyes, you started to slowly fall for the man. Especially with all the time he's willingly spending with you. He invited you to shoots with the Mr. Beast crew and after that you both went to Taco Bell, and that became a regular thing for you two.

The falling point for you is when Karl started to get touchy. He started hugging you from behind at random times, draping his arm over your shoulder, jokingly tries to kiss you during streams. At some point in the day Karl had to have a hand on you shoulder or at least two hugs. It made you want those hugs more often, and it slightly bothered you that he gave those out to anyone.

It was selfish of you to think like this, but isnt that human nature? It was a new thing for you to want to be with someone this much. It felt like you had to go all out to get Karl to notice you wanted to be with him. You started reciprocating his hugs and small touches, started making plans more often, sending little hearts after text messages. You could've told him your feelings toward him, but that wasnt your forté. At least right now.

Karl didn't notice the change in your attitude. Maybe he thought that his actions were rubbing off on you. You were so close to straight up saying "I love you" to him at this point. Looking back, you thought that your advances werent good enough, so right now you didnt try that much. You really wanted to be with Karl, but it seemer like it wasn't the time right now.

When you made up your mind that you wouldn't confess, Karl seemed to find someone. Her name to you was "candle girl", she was a girl who worked at a candle store that Karl had a crush on. He talked about her with a smile, the smile that you loved. He told you how she looked, and how sweet she was and how he went out of his comfort zone to talk to her.

Karl talked about her so highly you seemed like a second thought to him. He talked about her on stream while you were there too and you had to act like you were happy for him when in reality, when you wanted Karl to talk about you with the same gleam in his eyes like he talked about "candle girl".

It was one particular stream where you finally blew a fuse.

"Okay so me and y/n are going to head out. This stream was fun! Thank you all for joining." Karl exclaimed.

The chat went fast as Karl tried to pick out comments. You were swaying back in forth in your chair just wanting to get to Taco Bell before they closed. The stream ran longer than usual and the only thing you two ate where popcorn and Monsters.

"Where are you going? We're going to Taco Bell as always." You answered the question that someone commented.

"It's a tradition we have!" Karl added on.

"Y/N is replacing Sapnap? Yes I am hopefully." You said jokingly, knowing that would get clipped.

There was a pause, Karl was about to end his live until a question came up about if he has a crush on someone. You knew the rant about the candle girl was coming soon so you braced for the heartache you were inevitably about to face.

"My crush? There's this girl that works at like a Bath and Body Works you know? And I really like her. I actually got het number!" Karl turned to you when he said that last part.

"You did?" You asked stunned.

He laughed like he was surprised at himself.

"Yeah! Aren't you proud? Im a man now!" Karl joked around.

You mumbled an incoherent sentence, clearly not wanting to hear what he had to say about the girl. It was selfish of you to be jealous that he wasnt talking about you that way. Karl finally ended the stream and closed everything on his computer before the two of you headed out to his car.

You sat in the passenger side and he climbed into the drivers seat. He turned the car in and you both sat in the car not talking only with the radio playing softly in the background. It was a comfortable silence, but you wanted to say something, anything, but it wasnt coming out of your mouth. Seemingly the universe was for you because the text message on Karl's phone finally made you speak up.

"Oh!" Karl exclaimed as he opened his phone.

"Whos the text from?" You asked.

Karl laughed, "How'd you know?"

"Im a genius aren't I?" You smiled.

"Yeah you are. Its the girl! She texted me." Karl said while typing on his phone, clearly focused.

He kept doing so while smiling at the textx sent back and forth. It was uncomfortable for you while Karl and the girl texted quickly.

"I was actually anxious if she was gonna text me back or not. She's actually a fast typer-"

"Can we just go to Taco Bell." You interrupted Karl.

"What's wrong?" Karl put his phone down, but the notifications were still glowing in his screen in the dark car.

"I dont know. Just drive."

"No Y/N tell me."

"Karl I'm hungry lets go, please?"

"Not until you look at me and tell me whats the matter!" Karl pressed on.

"I said it's-

"Y/N!"

"Okay! Dumb ass I like you!" You shouted finally fed up with his pressure.

"That was aggressive-" Karl laughed after that.

You shouldn't have said that. His eyes widened at your sudden, agressive, confessions. It was embarrassing. You were about to get out of the car, your eyes kept staring at your lap or anywhere else, but Karl's way. Karl placed a hand on your shoulder while his phone was still blowing up from text messages.

Karl suddenly gasped and started laughing.

"Oh shit, You're Jealous?!"

You immediately looked towards him with confusion in your eyes. "Yeah I am! You're talking about this girl you like, you have this glow in your eyes when you talk about her, and I know it's selfish, but I want that."

Karl leaned over the armrest and kissed you on the cheek while you stared out of the front windshield.

"There's no need to be jealous!" Karl said as you both stared at eachother.

"I like you Karl. If you haven't figured it out yet." You laughed slightly.

"I like you too." Karl smiled wide and you matched his smile.

"Wait!" You started again. "What about the other girl?"

"Oh yeah about her." Karl started to laugh. "Its just a small crush. The real crush I have is you. I get so giddy when we spend time together and when I get a small text from you. Everything."

You both were leaning against the arm rest, Karl leaned his head on your shoulder as your hand rested in his hair. It was an akward position, but that didn't matter right now. Taco Bell could wait

"Maybe I was trying to make you jealous." Karl spoke up.

"Really?!"

"No!" Karl laughed. "I'm not that smart."

"Well everything worked out in our favor." You spoke up.

"Yeah. I love you, but you knew that already." Karl sat up and gave you a smile.

"I love you too Karl Jacobs."

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Saved | Dream

Requested? Nah 

Warnings? Stalker/creepy dude in a target, catcalling? 

Summary: Dream saves you when you get hit on by a creepy guy at target 

Word Count: 1,695

You hated running errands alone. 

It wasn’t for any specific reason, mostly you didn’t like doing the mundane tasks without any entertainment. Normally, you’d call your best friend and the two of you would head out together, grabbing groceries, clothes, little necessities, practically anything just to get the task done. 

But today she was busy, and you desperately needed to grab things at the store. 

So, you head out, a list ready on your phone and a hopeful plan on your mind. You decide to head straight to target in hopes you can find everything you need. The one thing you hated more than running errands alone was having to go to multiple stores alone. 

Once at target, you head towards the clothes first, needing to grab new t-shirts, look at pants, and possibly grab new flats. As you look around a guy a bit older than you catches your eye. He’s wandering the aisles near you, seemingly keeping an eye on you as you see him glance over every once in a while. 

You try not to think much of it, turning your attention back to the t-shirts you were looking over. However, as you move over to a rack of sweatpants, you notice he moves a bit closer and his eyes flicker over to you just as he looks up. 

Your stomach drops, nerves taking over you as continue walking through the clothing racks, praying that you’re just imagining things. 

You walk out of the clothes, heading towards the back of the store, mindlessly heading towards the books. You subconsciously swivel your head around, checking to see if the man is still following you and your heartbeat speeds up seeing him only a foot or so away from you. 

You turn into an aisle, stopping in front of the books and trying to take a deep breath and run over your options. Before you can decide what to do, the guy enters the aisle and you’re paralyzed as he walks closer. 

“Hello beautiful,” he greets you and you cross your arms over your chest, anxiously gripping your arms. 

“Uhm hi,” you respond not wanting to possibly anger the man. 

“Now what’s a gorgeous girl like you doing here by yourself?” he asks stepping closer to you. 

You turn away, trying to create as much distance as you can and hoping he backs off a bit. 

“Come on baby, you should come with me,” he says reaching out and running a hand down your shoulder making you shiver. 

Dream really didn’t want to get out of bed today. He didn’t have any streams planned, no uploads to keep track of, nothing to do. So, when he realized he needed things from the store he extremely reluctantly got up and headed out. 

He goes to the target not five minutes from his house, knowing the workers there probably have memorized who he is by now. He walks in, realizing it’s nice to be out of the house for a little bit, and decides to stroll around the store, taking his time to grab the items he needs. 

Just as he passes the books, he sees a young girl standing dead still. His head tilts, confused until he sees the man next to her. The man slides a hand down her back, whispering something to her and she visibly tenses up. 

Dream watches for another minute, unsure of what to do about the situation. His mind races, heart hurting for the girl in the uncomfortable situation. As the man inches closer Dream knows he can’t stand there any longer. 

His hand now trails from your shoulder to your back and you fight the urge to either run away or scream at the top of your lungs. You know for a fact if you do anything it could make everything worse. 

“Come on honey,” the guy whispers. 

Just as you try to say something, out of the corner of your eye another boy enters the aisle. Your eyes shoot to his, pleading silently for help. You pray you’re not imagining it as his head nods slightly. 

“(y/n)?” the boy asks walking by but stopping just behind you and the man. 

“Hey! it’s me Clay!” he continues and your face practically floods with relief. 

You move to his side, offering him a light hug and the boy takes the opportunity to wrap his arms tightly around you. 

“Thank you so much,” you whisper into his ear. 

“I’ve got you don’t worry,” he promises back just as quickly. 

He lets you go, casting a warning glance to the man behind you and you immediately know as long as the boy in front of you stays you’ll be okay. 

“I was just grabbing some stuff wanna come with? We can catch up,” he says and you instantly start to nod. 

He gives you a look, one that says it’s gonna be okay and he slips his hand into yours. He leads you away, overlooking his shoulder every once in a while to make sure that you’re away from the creepy man. Once, far enough away, the boy stops. 

“I’m so sorry,” he apologizes and you shake your head. 

“Thank you so fucking much,” you reply your voice shaking still. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up.” 

“Of course. That guy was a creep. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” 

You offer a half-smile at the boy, still shaken up at the whole interaction. You try to take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that at least you had someone with you now. 

“My name’s (y/n) by the way,” you tell him after a while. 

“Clay. But everyone calls me Dream,” he responds and you smile. 

You finally get a good look at the boy, he’s clad in a black hoodie, dark blue jeans, and vans. His hair is messy underneath the hood he wears, falling over his shiny blue eyes. You’ve never met him but you trusted him already, something you never did often. 

“Do you want me to stay with you while you shop?” he asks and your shy smile widens. 

“I’d appreciate it.” 

After another deep breath, you head out of the aisle, telling Dream you needed to grab some groceries, and the boy nods in agreement. 

“So, why do they call you Dream?” you ask as you reach for a bag of chips. 

“I don’t know, just a nickname I guess?” he says as you move to where the Redbull is. 

You nod mindlessly, grabbing the peach-flavored Redbull and throwing a bunch into your cart. Dream starts to giggle quietly next to you and you cast him a confused look. 

“What?” you ask, offering a half-smile. 

“Nothing, you just remind me of a friend.” 

You smile wide, moving to the next aisle, and both you and Dream start to grab things. As you each grab what you came for, you continue to talk, learning the basics you wish you learned first before everything else happened. 

“What do you do for a living?” you ask as you head towards the beauty section. 

“Uh, that’s complicated,” he admits and you tilt your head to the side. 

“I’m a YouTuber and Twitch streamer?” he continues and now you’re even more confused. 

“And?” 

“And I’ve never shown my face to my audience,” he admits and you stop dead in your tracks. 

“Oh so you have to kill me now,” you joke and Dream laughs loudly. 

“No, but I’d appreciate it-“

“If I didn’t run off and tell everyone what you look like?” you finish and Dream nods, releasing a breath of relief. 

“I’d never don’t worry.” 

You move along the aisles, a sense of security settled in this brand new friendship. Just as you get to the body wash, you spot yours sitting at the back of the top shelf and roll your eyes in frustration. 

“Motherfucker,” you curse and Dream laughs behind you as you climb onto the bottom shelf, reaching up high to try and grab the body wash but with no luck.

“Here,” he says, moving next to you where he reaches up, grabbing the body wash with ease before sliding it into your hands, your fingertips brushing slightly. 

“Tall bitch,” you joke, and Dream is really cackling now. 

Your heart is light as his laugh lights up the entire store it feels like. You can’t help but look over his features as he doubles over in laughter. His eyes shine with laughter, a broad smile illuminating his features. Your heart picks up realizing you want to keep hearing him laugh. 

“Ready to go?” he asks. 

You nod and the two of you both head towards self-checkout. You ring out one at a time, making sure Dream still stays next to you just in case. Once you’re done checking out, you two head for your car, pointing it out in the parking lot as you walk. 

“Thank you again,” you tell Dream as you shut your trunk and turn towards him. 

“No problem,” he responds and you two sit in silence. 

You can’t help but think that you definitely don’t want this to be the first and last time you ever saw Dream. Your mind races, when it clicks. You rummage through your purse for a moment digging out a pen. You lightly grab Dreams arm, pulling it towards you. 

He gives you a confused look, but you scribble your number across his arm with your name and a smiley face underneath. When you’re done, you look up and Dream is smiling down at your number. 

“Call me some time okay?” you say and Dream nods. 

Feeling brave, you lean forward pressing a kiss to his cheek and you watch his face flood red. You smile before hopping into your car and making sure Dream isn’t in your way before pulling out and heading home. 

When you get home and put everything away, you finally check your phone. Your face lights up, a giggle escaping your lips as you see Dream’s message. 

“Thanks for letting me be a hero today,” he writes. 

“Always, my knight in shining armor.”

[multiplefandomsblog]

Streaming Relationship HCS w/ Chiaki

request(s); omg ur requests are open???? AAAJDJAKFHW ok so this might sound weird but like- relationship hcs with chiaki and a s/o who stream together, like on twitch or some shit BAHAHDJAH

sorry if that’s really specific i just think it’s a really cute idea LMAO have an amazing day ily guys <333

paring(s); streamer! Chiaki x streamer! S/o, special appearance of Hajime x Komaeda (Platonic or romantic, depends on how you perceive it)

warnings(s); light cussing, unedited, tackling???? but not like in a fight or anything, smash bros if that’s a trigger- idrk how streams work and what type of games they play — but i tried watching one and it was pretty cool :000 am still confused if i wrote this right though;;; probably more relationship gaming hcs than streaming :’) but i tried!!!! anyway back to warnings, gender-neutral reader, teeth-rotting fluff, mention of chloroform(it’s not how you think i used it for tho, no one gets drugged dw), silent treatment, sugar rushes, simps lmfao wtf-

note; WEEEEE OKAY SO I INITIALLY THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE HARD CONSIDERING IVE NEVER WATCHED A TWITCH STREAM IN MY LIFE AND IDK WHAT IT IS BUT ASDHBSDKFHJBFAS AFTER SOME ‘RESEARCH’ I TOTALLY JUST WENT HAM AND IDEAS JUST FLOWED LIKE AN ANIMAL CROSSING RIVER — anyway, hope you enjoy!!! AA

- mod chia

◊ Okay so, I think that during streams, Chiaki probably wouldn’t talk that much; and when she did, it was usually just small quiet, cute and questionable things that make you take a minute — and then die(of laughter).

The whole quiet thing is just a façade, isn’t it!? >:0

◊ If she ever loses a game, or loses some inventory, she won’t have that big of a reaction, but she’ll abruptly stop and tense. Her first instinct however, to calm herself down, is, well, you. So she’ll take a deep breath — only it’s in your chest,,, and she can’t breathe. She will just lean over to you, stuff her face in your chest and then- *SNIFFFF* 

◊ She’ll probably stay there for a while and just kind of… forget her loss, as well as forget she was on a stream(oops). 

◊ “Yeah, just give me a mmmm- minute… or more… I think.” Her voice would be muffled from the material of your shirt, and slightly drowsy — your scent is intoxicating, it’s almost like chloroform for her. One inhale, and she’s —

◊ “Chiaki...? Chiaki? W- we’re on a stream-” HAH Good luck waking her up, she’s out like a light — not only that, she will whine if you wake her up, better yet, she’ll climb further onto you until you almost fall off your gaming chair, or bean bag... bean bags are dope. *wait, i just got an idea- hol’ up

◊ It’s awkward as shit on the stream; especially when there’s people simping for your gamer girlfriend. 

◊ Right after Chiaki feels you give up on trying to rouse her, she’ll immediately take your moment of vulnerability to climb into our lap and bury her nose in your shoulder, getting comfortable before the soft snores start again. It’s so abrupt and on cue, that it makes you wonder if she was just faking her sleep, or if it was just pure muscle memory.

◊ Yes, muscle memory. 

◊ She’s done this so many times out of streams, and in, that it’s literally become instinct.

◊ You cannot start a stream without Chiaki knowing, she has your notifications on, so the moment you go live, you will hear a very silent, but full-of-emotion gasp in the other room — or even the other side of the planet depending on where you guys are located. 

◊ If you start a stream without her, she will give you the silent treatment for one hour. That’s right, one whole hour. So don’t betray her trust, one hour is longer than you think it is — you’d learn that the hard way.

◊ She may cave in after one hour, but she will definitely bring it up in a passive-aggressive way.

— “Chiaki? Are you going to order some food?” “Are you going to invite me to your next stream?” It’d be quiet, a near whisper, but you can still hear how whiny- furious she is. 

◊ If you two were streamers, it’d definitely be Chiaki who introduced you to it first, and invited you to her stream first too. Your relationship known to everyone else is kind of like,, Chiaki is player 1, and you’re player 2; if that makes sense...?

◊ Point is, everyone knows Chiaki better than you — but after some time, you two kind of become a team instead. And this was always her plan too! She always wanted to be a gaming team with you, so if you ever streamed or gamed without her, she will get mad. 

◊ — doesn’t mean she won’t play against you, however. 

◊ If you did get her mad, she will destroy you at street fighter. And at a shit ton of other games too; less merciful than usual. You swear you can see an almost terrifying fierceness in her eye as she jabs at the buttons loudly — everyone on the stream are just, nervously sweating for you.

◊ You guys probably have a cute, pastel themed gaming room with bean bags, and just shelves and shelves of imported snacks and instant noodles. The keyboard is pastel coloured, the computer, the bean bags*, everything is pastel themed and coloured; extremely soft to the eye, especially after gaming, it’s just very nice and soft for when your eyes get sore :)

◊ As mentioned earlier, you two are an unseparable team. Whenever you two are playing 2v2 against Komaeda and Hajime, you always end up in the same time — whether if it’s because you two chose to do so, or the game spinner chose for you.

◊ You suspect it’s probably because of Komaeda’s luck — but it’s nice to think that the universe ships you both together, right? 

◊ Chiaki definitely carries you, but she really doesn’t mind; it’s easy for her. And honestly, she’s just glad you’re playing with her. You being there is a huge supreme factor to her winning most of the games too. The motivation to win for her super hot partner, and to be the hero is very active when you’re sitting knee-to-knee to her.

◊ So yeah, she obliterates Hajime and Komaeda at Smash Bros because she wants to see you praise her and be impressed <33

◊ Praise her though. Seriously.

◊ Give her head pats, hug her(the favoured option), or cheer for her; all that really matters, is that she knows you’re proud of her — even if it’s live, and millions are watching, just shamelessly praise her. Your opinion matters a lot to her, so make sure to take care of that fact, take care of her.

◊ She’d definitely do the same for you!! >:000

◊ If she drank a lot of soda from the mini fridge(yes, you two have a mini fridge), and she’s super energetic from the sugar/caffeine rush, you will bet your sore ass(from sitting, get your mind out of the gutter), that she will tackle you to the ground and start squishing her forehead against yours as she stares you uncomfortably in the eye, “How did you do that!?” she’d be so proud of you, but mostly — she needed to know. How the hell. You did that.

◊ She’ll probably be vibrating from the energy, and when she gets up, she literally starts talking to everyone on the stream at a volume that may be too loud — but she doesn’t care so — “You guys saw that right...?!” through slurred speech and energy that had slowly been draining within each second, she’ll probably last on that sugar rush for a couple more seconds before clinging onto you and just. Sleeping.

[voooorhees]

Could you write headcanons of: Billy and Stu being streamers and having a crush on another streamer, who also has a podcast .Like the boys say flirty things to the reader and simp, sometimes they even say things like 'why haven't you invited me to your podcast yet?'

Sorry for requesting so much!!!

ok if billy and stu would be streamers i would 110% watch them, it would be hella fun

Billy and Stu streamers x gender neutral Streamer crush!

cw: stab wounds and stab scars mentioned

• It all started when you made a small comment in chat, it was a simple movie reference but it caught the boys eyes immediately

• after they were done streaming they just had to find out more about this mysterious commenter, so they did what they did best and stalked you down and found your account and podcast! which to their delight was about horror movie breakdowns and reviews!!

• Stu was super curious about your podcasts and so he would play them while him and Billy were planning things or just doing schoolwork, but it eventually evolved to listening to your voice as they both fell asleep

• Billy would be really intrigued by your streams, you wore a mask and had this entrancing air about you

• Oh yeah Billy had to know more about this masked streamer who also had a horror movie podcast? yeah he needed to know more

• One day after school had let out, Billy yelled at Stu that you were about to stream! The boys immediately joined and started to watch you play

• Stu was way too eager to start commenting things, and they caught your interest

“well someone is quite talkative in chat today!”

• they both fangirl over this, both madly blushing and giggling like idiots

• this keeps on until the boys develop a friendship with you, but little comments would be thrown in

“your outfit looks nice today y/n, why can’t we see your face?”

• you and the boys would chat one on one (or one on two?) and spend hours picking apart each other’s favorite movies

• One day on your podcast, you decide to switch it up and talk about the local murders that have been happening in your town

“So for today’s topic, i want to talk about the murders in my town! Yeah i know it’s not a movie but-“

•immediately peaks their interest in you and they’re both dying to know

“So it all started with this chick named Casey Becker, i kinda knew of her, i mean we did- well used to go to the same school”

• oh yeah the boys would be either shocked in silence that you’re covering their murders or they would be jumping around and yelling in excitement (“y/n goes to our school??”)

• you cover in depth about how this girl’s mom was killed and then her dad went crazy and killed some high schoolers at a party, then he killed his daughter in a fit of emotion and then himself

“oh and you see, not everyone was killed during the party, this random kid named Randy survived and then these two boys were stabbed but tried to stop the man! How brave of them!”

• you briefly mentioned that you would like to interview the boys but you also wouldn’t want to bring up that traumatic experience

• Stu was all red and Billy had a dumbass grin on his face

“Billy! they want to interview us!”

• so after listening to you explain more about the murders and the motives they texted you

“so i heard your podcast about the woodsboro murders, why haven’t you invited me on your podcast sooner?”

• you had no clue this new friendship you made was with the two survivors of the murders? and you had been watching them stream for years??

• Billy and Stu would totally stream their interview with you for your podcast on their channel

• since you’d be on camera you kept your mask on (much to the boy’s disappointment)

• you asked questions about what it was like to be stabbed while trying to stop a mad man from killing your best friend

“Well Stu here was stabbed first cause he’s a dumbass and walked up on the man, but I got stabbed trying to get the man off of Stu”

Stu scoffed at Billy’s claims, “well i got stabbed cause i was going to help sidney! you were just standing around all drunk!”

•they bicker back and forth for a bit before you asked to see their stab scars

“you want to see the scars?” Billy would ask lowkey excited because he would have to lift his shirt

• Stu would be the quicker one to show you (Billy’s still kinda processing it)

•He lifts his shirt up so you can see the scar, it’s long and jagged going down the side of his stomach

• Bill’s would be more intense but it doesn’t look as deep as Stu’s

• Both of their dumbasses would be blushing

You decided to run your fingers over them and both shivered

“Do they hurt?” you asked as you lifted your hand off of them

“not really” They would both stutter out

•wow you could tell they had a crush, it was so obvious with how they looked at you

•after you guys ended the streams, you watched a movie together, it was easy to pick since you all liked the same things

•since you’re still wearing your mask (you realized who billy and stu were when they walked up to your door, and you knew them from school) it was kinda uncomfortable

• “fuck it” you decided as you took off the mask

• They boys both gasped when they saw who you really were

“oh shit y/n! i knew you sounded familiar!”

•turns out you had a math class with them

•when it came time for them to leave, you decided to do something a little bold

“hey billy, stu, hold on i have something to give you!”

•you stood up and gave both boy a smooch on the cheek and wished them well

“see you at school tomorrow!”

•they both stood there, shocked and hearts beating quick

“did y/n just kiss us?”

“i think so?”

•both of them would be grinning like clowns the whole way home

oh yeah they were very excited to see you tomorrow >:)

/sorry this is super long i got carried away :)

[cutiepisenpai]

Part 1 of 3.   Part 2   Part 3

Kenma X F!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Implied Sex

Kenma is a well known and extremely successful video game streamer. He has millions of followers who would show up day after day and watch his hours-long streams. His followers of course know very little about his life outside of gaming. The shy streamer shared nothing of his personal life and his fans searched for any miniscule amount of information they could find. They all knew about his best friend Kuroo who would show up in his streams from time to time. They also knew he has a long time girlfriend, they heard you talking to him on a few streams before but you never come into view of the camera. The few times that they had heard her she was checking in on him. His followers have asked many times if he would ever reveal her and he always says no. He likes his private life to stay private, but little did they know that there is another reason other than privacy that he didn’t show his girlfriend in videos is because you are a very popular vlogger and cosplayer. Back when you were in high school he was in a few of your videos that are now private, long before either of you rose to popularity becoming the big names you are known as now. Some older viewers of yours know about your relationship and thankfully have kept that secret for you as well. But there are still people who just want to know anything they can.

Right now you are doing a live Q and A and can’t count how many times, ‘Who are you dating?’ has shown up in the chat. 

“Alright guys the Q and A can’t just be you asking me about my relationship. So for the final time no you don’t get to know his name or see what he looks like.” You say, before continuing on answering questions about upcoming conventions and cosplays you are working on.

“Okay guys it’s about time to bring this to its end…” At that moment Kenma peeks his head in and you look up over the camera. “Hey, I was just signing, off I’ll be there in a minute.” Kenma nods leaving the room.

“Ok I am out until next time.” You say ending the live.

Sitting back into your chair giving a little stretch before getting up and walking out of the room. You find your way to Kenma who is lounging on the couch switch in hand. You sit down next to him leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Sup, puddin’?” 

He shrugs, “Nothing, your stream went well. Except for all the people asking about me.” 

Another thing no one knows is that you moderate each other's chats while streaming. 

“They just want your beautiful face to grace their screens.” You joke. 

“Do you want them to know?” He asks.

“Nah, I prefer to keep you all to myself but I would be glad to stop all the questions.”

“That wouldn’t stop the questions. They will ask hundreds more after finding out.” He says.

“True. If we ever decide to tell them then I can finally convince you to dress up at a con with me.”

“Not a chance.” He shuts you down.

“Oh, come on.”

Your regular day could be hectic; you usually filmed early in the morning while Kenma was still sleeping before editing or working on your cosplay. Today you are filming several videos consecutively because you were going to a gaming expo with Kenma and you can’t film or stream while there together. You also needed to pack later for the both of you for the trip. Kenma could pack for himself but it's easier on both of you if you just do it. While you are busy getting everything you need to do done, Kenma sleeps on peacefully.

You may have thought that Kenma was asleep when you got out of the bed, but he hadn’t slept at all that night. He had big plans that you are unaware of. He talked with Kuroo and Hinata but neither helped calm his nerves. He lays awake in the bed exhausted, he can hear you filming in the next room. The sounds of your cheerful laughter makes him smile. He has been so exhausted trying to keep his plans a secret from you and soon it will all come to a close. He takes a deep breath before sitting up and dragging himself out of the bed. He pulls his suitcase out of the closet and starts packing. 

Once you are done filming you walk back to the bedroom to find Kenma has already packed his bad and started on yours. He is currently looking into your underwear drawer confused. 

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“Packing.” He says bluntly and you roll your eyes.

“I see that, I meant why?”

“We’re going on a trip.” This guy can’t be serious.

“I am also aware of that...”

“Why do you own so many different types of underwear.” He asks cutting you off.

“What?” 

“They’re organized in pairs, but why are there just so many?”

“Pairs?” 

“Tops and bottoms.” He hasn’t turned to face you looking at the drawers offendedly. 

“I was going to pack.”

“I couldn’t sleep so I just did it.”

“Did I wake you?” You ask. He shakes his head in response. “Okay, well thank you for packing, but I can take it from here.” 

Kenma makes no effort to move, giving the drawer one last glance before picking up a sheer mesh bra and panty set. “You should bring these.” He says, before kissing your forehead and walking away. 

A few hours later and your bag is packed you set it and Kenma’s next to the front door stopping  by his stream room to check in on him. You peek inside waiting to catch his attention. 

“I’m not streaming right now.” He says.

You walk over sitting in his lap and draping your hands over his shoulders. 

“What are you doing?”   

“Just editing some clips for while we are gone.”

“Ah, I need to go edit my videos too.” 

“You should probably go and get that done.” He says. 

“Trying to get rid of me.” You feign being hurt.

“No but I don’t want you to be stressed about it tomorrow while we are traveling.” 

You share a quick kiss before you are on your way out. Once he is sure you’ve gone to work on your own stuff he pulls the video program back up that he had been working in. It was a video he had already edited several times trying to assure it was perfect. 

The next morning bright and early, much to Kenma’s dismay, you were off heading to the convention. The first night would be a preview night, but that didn’t mean you could walk around as a couple. You actually avoided each other a bit so that no one would become suspicious. He hung with other game streamers while you met up with some vloggers you know, occasionally coming together your close friends always asked if it was difficult to do these events together when you had to pretend to not be a couple. And of course it could be difficult but you were both used to it at this point. During these events Kenma wished that everyone knew about your relationship already so that he could have you next time while he dealt with the hordes of people he encountered. By the end of the first night you are both completely exhausted and after your showers you fall asleep quickly. Kenma wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. He looks over to you sleeping peacefully and decides to go into the other room. He opens his laptop playing an RPG game, but he can’t focus and dies repeatedly. He grows frustrated until you plop down on the couch beside him startling him.

“You should be asleep.” He says.

“You’re one to talk. Why are you in here?”

“Can’t sleep.”

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

“Nothing.”

“I know you better than that. Something has been bothering you. I thought you were stressed about the trip but now I know I’m not sure.”

Kenma is quiet, he is normally quiet but this is a telling silence. 

“I’m just worried about tomorrow.” He sighs.

“What’s tomorrow? The tournament?”

“Yeah.” He lies. 

“You shouldn’t worry about something as silly as that you’ll be great.” You say to reassure him. 

Seeing you smile believing so wholeheartedly in him, helped relieve the immense amount of stress he had been feeling. 

“Ready to go back to bed.” You ask.

“Yeah.” 

Kenma finally got to sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks. The next morning trying to wake Kenma up requires effort and patience.

“Come on Puddin’. You have to get up.” 

“Don’t want to.” He mumbles. 

“We’ve got to get downstairs.” You say and receive no response. 

“I’ll give you kisses.”

“You’ll do that anyways.” You hear muffled from under the covers. 

“You are right, Okay what do I have to do to get you out of bed.”

“Nothing I’m not getting up.”

“I’m not going to keep playing nice with you.” No response. “Okay.”

You pull the covers off of him climbing over him and straddling his hips. He cracks an eye open looking up at you and moves his hands to your hips. 

“What is your plan?” 

“Get up.” You say adamantly. 

“You don’t scare me.” 

“I have an incriminating photo of you.”

“You would never post that.”

“You’re right I wouldn’t, I have a better plan. I will send it in the group text to the team.”

He opens both of his eyes wide, “You wouldn’t”

You pull your phone out, “Try me.”

“You’re mean but fine.” He pouts sitting up and coming face to face with you. 

You smile at him, “See that wasn’t so hard.”

He kisses your forehead and taps your legs for you to get up. Down at the expo today Kenma is busy meeting his fans, you watch from a distance and even from where you are standing you can see how uncomfortable he is. You want nothing more to go over and comfort him but you know you can’t. You send him a text instead, 

To Puddin’:

You’ve got this just take a deep breath. 👍

He opens the message and smiles, the crowd notices and breaks out in questions and you are glad you weren’t over there. Later on that same day you meet up before the tournament starts.

“This is so exhausting. How do you do this so often?” He asks 

“Mmm, I’m much more of a people person that you. But I think I just got used to it.” You look at the clock nearby, “Alright it looks like it’s time to head over for the tournament.” 

He hums in agreement getting up and heading out of the door before you. You wait a few minutes after he leaves before leaving yourself and going to take your seat watching the tournament begin. Kuroo shows up taking the seat next to you, “Hey, what’s up?” Kuroo says.

“What are you doing here?” You ask him.

“Wow you hurt me and I thought we were friends.” Kuroo says clutching his hands close to his chest.

“I’m happy to see you. I'm just surprised. Shouldn’t you be at work.”

“I got out of it.” He says proudly. 

You raise an eyebrow at him, “Oh yea do they know you’re at a gaming expo?”

“You don’t tell my secret and I won’t tell yours.”

“I don’t have any secrets.”

“So your millions of followers know about Kenma now.”

“Shut up.”

The announcer comes out and introduces the gamers playing in the tournament. You and Kuroo cheer loudly and embarrass Kenma just a bit. The tournament has been going well, everyone making quiet conversation, Kenma has gotten into a groove playing intensely. Suddenly the power goes out. You feel Kurro’s hand grip your wrist, people murmur around you. ‘Sorry for the interruption everyone. We will fix the power and be back momentarily.’ The announcer says. 

“Are you afraid of the dark?” You ask Kuroo.

“No, are you?”

“No but I am also not holding onto you.”

“I’m keeping you safe.”

“From what exactly.”

“Creeps.” 

You laugh knowing he is completely serious. The screen on the stage flickers before lighting up and everyone's attention is directed towards it. A video begins to play, “Hey, it’s Kenma.” You say to no one in particular. He looks nervous almost fidgeting before he takes a breath and starts talking, “Hi everyone I am Kozuken if you didn’t know I am a pro - gamer.” You stand and watch trying to figure out what this video is, “I am not good at this, but I made this video for something important. My followers have always asked about my girlfriend and for privacy reasons I never show her in my videos. But she is the.. I don’t…  there aren’t words to describe her.. But this video is for her.” There are a series of awws heard all around. The video shows a montage consisting of photos and video clips in chronological order, starting from when they first met in middle school to high school with the volleyball team, graduation from high school. When they lived together in college and the moments of their life until now. You are so engrossed in the video you don’t see everything moving around you. As the montage ends Kenma is back on the screen. “She is my heart and soul and I can’t imagine my life without her and so if she would just turn around I have something to ask her.” The video ends and when you turn around Kenma is behind you down on one knee ring in hand. 

“Will you marry me?”  

You stand there in shock because you hadn’t suspected it at all but you can see him starting to panic from your silence. 

“Yes, of course I will.”

You had forgotten you were at a public event surrounded by thousands of people until the crowd cheers startling the both of you. He stands sliding the ring on your finger giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. There are cameras flashing and people cheering all around. You are ushered out by the event coordinators helping you back to your room. Once inside with the doors closed you are finally able to take a deep breath and take in what happened. You feel a rush of excitement and jump wrapping your arms around him. 

You let out a high pitched squeal, “Oh my god. I can’t believe that just happened. I had no idea…” You begin to ramble. 

Kenma just looks at you in awe smiling. He listens to your rambling just happy he was finally able to get that done and even happier that you said yes. You two stop when you hear a knock followed by the door promptly opening.

“Hey lovebirds, please tell me you’re decent. Wouldn’t want to see that again.” Kuroo says walking into the room.

“If you would stop walking in without anyone prompting you that wouldn’t have happened the first time.” Kenma says as your face heats up at the thought of that incident. 

“Ah, just yell out before I can see anything.” He smirks, “You know to let me know. But I guess that could be confused with the other kind of yelling out.”

“Okay, what do you want?” You ask before he can say anything else. 

“To celebrate with you of course. I’ve seen this from the very beginning now let’s break out the champagne and celebrate since you know pudding head finally decided to announce his love for you to the world.”

“To the world?” You ask. 

“Oh yeah that whole thing was live streamed on both of your channels.” Kuroo says.

You look to Kenma who is avoiding eye contact, “Is that true?” 

“Yea, sorry I didn’t ask it would’ve ruined the surprise.”

“It’s okay I’m just surprised and a little scared to check my phone now.” 

“Do that later after you’re completely blitzed.” Kuroo cheers popping the cork on the champagne. 

You spend the rest of the afternoon cuddled next to Kenma drinking way more than you should and talking with Kuroo. Late into the evening Kuroo says his goodbyes before heading for his own hotel room. You and Kenma are lying in bed and you can see your phone flicker every few seconds with a new notification. The ringer had been turned off long ago. You turn over in bed to face Kenma gently moving the strands of hair from blocking his eyes. He grabs a hold of your hand bringing it to his lips and kissing it. 

“Tomorrow is going to be a very long day.” You say.

“It is .” Kenma nods in agreement.

“At least I can stick close to you. Since everyone knows now.”

“Yea that will be good.”

You have a big smile plastered on your face. “What?” Kenma asks.

“I’m just happy.”

“Go to sleep.”

The next day things are eventful normally the final day of any event would be calm and this was anything but that. Fans are still buzzing over the news of you two and the engagement surprise offering the congratulations. The day is overwhelming for both of you and by the time it is over you are ready to be back in your own peaceful and quiet home. When you finally decide to check social media you are bombarded by thousands of photos, videos, clips and mentions. Most are positive but there are a few critical tweets here and there. It is just too much and you decide it can be avoided for a little while longer. It can’t be avoided forever. Both of your careers require you to react eventually and it will come sooner rather than later since you have filming and lives planned. At the house you want to collapse on your bed, you slowly change waiting for Kenma to come in but he doesn’t. When you find him he is in his streaming room staring at the three monitors. 

“Couldn’t wait to play.”

“”Hmm, I’m not playing.” He says turning slowly to face you but looking back at the screen. As you approach him and the screen comes into view you see that he is in fact scrolling through twitter, something that he never does. He opens his arms up a gesture you have come to know as him asking you to sit in his lap. You do just that sitting between his legs leaning your back against his chest. 

“So why are you scrolling through twitter?” You ask.

“It’s faster on my pc than my phone.” 

“Understandable, the question is still the same.”

“I had a lot of notifications.” 

“Well when you decide to abruptly make your private relationship with another well known creator public that happens.” You say.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yes.”

“Well so long as I am with you I am always happy.” He says hooking his chin over your shoulder.

“You should probably stop scrolling. It’s not good.” You say and he hums in agreement. “We can take a bath together and cuddle while playing an easy game.” 

The next week was hectic, you two tried to continue as usual. But during Kenma’s first stream back his chat was spammed with question upon question about you and your relationship. Why weren’t you on his stream, after three hours he ended his stream early out of frustration. You had a little better control in your own live for the most part, you started your live by saying you would not be discussing your personal life regardless of them knowing about the two of you now. You thanked everyone who sent their congratulations but still you had to remind them that you and Kenma still valued your privacy and not to go over to his channel and bother him. 

“We’re going to have to do a Q and A aren’t we.” Kenma says over dinner. 

“We don’t have to do anything, everything that we do is our own choice and our own decision.” 

“Do you think they will ever stop asking?”

“It may die down after a few weeks but there will always be questions.” 

You two end up announcing a joint live Q and A after too many of Kenma’s streams kept getting spammed with questions. 

“Hello everyone and welcome to our first and probably only ever joint Q and A.” You announce. 

You can feel the nervousness seeping out of Kenma, he was barely comfortable answering questions during his streams and then he had a buffer. Most of his focus on the game. It was strange to be here with Kenma if anyone had ever said when you started dating that one day he would propose to you with nearly a million people watching you would have thought it was a lie. Hell if someone had mentioned that something like this would happen even a month ago you wouldn’t believe it.

“I hope you all don’t mind listening to me talk because getting a lot out of this one is practically impossible.” You say gesturing to Kenma. “So we have a list of pre submitted questions we will be going through and after we will answer questions from the chat.” 

You hold up a notecard with a question for Kenma to read, “ ‘Where did you meet?’, Seriously that’s boring.”

“Okay so we actually met way back as first years in middle school. I was an exchange student and Kenma was my first friend in Japan.” Kenma nods along not feeling the need to add more.

“ ‘What was your first impression of me?’ Oh that’s a good one.” You read.

“You were quiet and shy. I don’t know where that went.”

“I got more comfortable around you. Is this your way of telling me to be more quiet?”

“No.”

“ ‘How long have you been dating?’ ” He reads, “Since high school.” 

“We have been dating for seven years since our first year of high school.” You say. 

There are comments in the chat talking about you being high school sweethearts and of course none of them would have ever had a chance with either of you since you have been together so long. You two have finally gotten into a groove answering questions, laughing and telling stories. Kenma loosens up after a while almost forgetting you are being watched live. You had gone through cards you had prepared and are now taking questions from the chat. 

“ ‘When are you going to get married?’ ” Kenma reads.

“Well since we’ve been engaged for less than two weeks no idea. Seriously take a guess and maybe you’ll be right. We probably won’t mention it publicly anyway. We love you guys but don’t want any wedding crashers.”

“ ‘What do you argue about the most?’ ” You read.

“Sleep probably?” Kenma says looking at you. 

“Yeah neither of us have the best sleep schedules and we argue telling the other that they need to sleep.” 

“ ‘Who wears the pants in the relationship?’ ”

“We like it best when neither of us are wearing pants.”

“ ‘Who said I love you first?’ ” 

“Well we were friends for a long time before we started dating So I love you was just a pretty normal thing to say like hello or goodbye by the time our relationship became romantic.” You say. 

“She did.” Kenma answers.

“Care to elaborate.”

“No”

“C’mon, you obviously remember and I don’t so it’s only fair that you share.” 

With a huff, “The first time you said it was when you were leaving to visit your home over the summer break. You hugged me and said I love you and that I would be the first person you saw when you got back.”

You are left speechless that he remembers that so vividly. The chat of course is filled with hearts and everyone talking about how cute it is that he remembered. 

“Okay everyone this is where we are ending this tonight because nothing else could top that. We hope that you are having a good morning, afternoon, or evening wherever you are in the world. Until next time.” You say ending the live. “Oh my god were you trying to make me cry on live.” 

“No.”

“Well I almost did. You do realize you are so cute and anyone who was not simping for you before that definitely is now.” 

“Why all I did was say what happened.” 

You give him a kiss, “Yea and that is exactly why.”

“That makes no sense.”

[innittowinit]

Can you pick me up? my uni burnt down (Chapt. 2)

Relationships: Sleepy bois inc (all fics i write are platonic)

Summary: 

 In which Techno goes to England for University, his building catches fire in the night, and he isn't prepared for the difference in climate between England and California. SBI fluff ensues

Chapter summary: 

After waking up, Wilbur has the great idea that they should do a sleepy boys stream. Tommy doesn't get told about this id

Words: 1785

Language: English

AO3 Chapt. 1

Listen, waking up on a sofa, with a thin blanket shared with 3 men was never going to be the best morning. His back hurt and his legs were numb from Wilbur having sprawled out over the three of them as he slept. 

Stretching his arms back, he recounted the events of last night. God, it really was only a few hours ago, he was so tired. Had this been last year, he would have been able to stay up for days on end and then just crash for an entire weekend. It wasn’t last year though and Techno had gotten himself into a fairly healthy routine, he couldn’t exactly be sleeping through his uni classes anyway. 

“Alright you two” Hearing Philza’s voice, he propped his head up, “Get up, you can’t lay around all day”

A groan came from the mass of blankets and cushions that happened to be Wilbur, who was curled up in the centre of it,

“Phil it's so early and we went to bed so late. It’s fine to sleep in”

“Okay” he chuckled, humouring his tired friend “It’s midday Wil, im taking the blankets away now”

Techno thought it was much too early too, as he tugged the sleeves of Wilbur’s hoodie down a little further so they could act like gloves. 

“Do you mind if I use your PC to try and find out what’s going on with my classes at some point? They'll probably send me an email or something” He grumbled, standing up so he could stretch his back out properly, following Phil slowly to the kitchen.

“That’s fine, it's up in my room, do what you need”

Breakfast was nice, it had been a while since Techno had had time for it honestly, and even longer since he had been able to eat with people he cared about. He had a couple slices of buttered toast and a bowl of some british cereal which he didn’t really like but he didn’t want to be rude so he ate it anyway. 

“You wanna stream together later?” Wil asked through a mouth full of food, earning a snort from Phil. This was nice. 

“Yeah maybe, you use face cam though, I’m not like against showing them my face but y'know, it is what it is” he shrugged, spooning another mouthful of his breakfast into his mouth, he had to admit it was very bland, he much preferred the sweeter ones that were more popular in America. 

“Well think about it, if you decide you don't want them to see you, you can always just sit off to the side and I'll turn my monitor so you can still see it. My office is big enough for it anyway, it’ll be like where Niki was during that one MCC remember?”

Techno nodded and carried on eating, they really were 3 very sleepy boys right now. Maybe he’d take a nap once he found out what was going on with his classes. 

------------------

------------------

Streaming without any gameplay to comment about and with facecam on? Techno wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. That just didn’t really sound like something he was going to enjoy.

It was nerve wracking and he always seemed to glance at the camera too much when it was pointed at him. He knew the fans would be disappointed if he didn’t do it though, When Wilbur tweeted out saying that he and Phil would join him in a ‘you laugh you lose’ he watched as the replies freaked out. 

You could say he was just a bit camera shy, he wasn’t incredibly insecure, sure there were things he didn’t like that much but everyone had things like that, it just made him nervous to know that people were looking at him. 

He’d be okay with his friend’s though, he trusted that they’d never put him in an uncomfortable situation. He knew if he got overwhelmed he could sit outside the frame. 

It would be okay. 

“Hey hey chat” Wilbur mumbled into the mic, making it loud enough so that everyone could hear but it still sounded like he was whispering. 

“We’ve got the blade here, bet you weren’t expecting that huh chat? Or maybe you were, maybe you read the title of the stream, bet there’s someone watching who didn't think he’d be here though” he finally turned the music off and switched from his ‘starting soon’ screen to his regular camera. 

Wil went through the rules, it was the normal stuff, he added in some jokes here and there, prodding Techno and Phil to talk at times. They’d already agreed that this wouldn’t be for youtube, since that seemed to add a bit too much pressure for Techno, but hey, he still had to welcome his chat. 

“Okay!! First media share! Lets go”  

After a series of videos, some funnier than others, Techno had started to loosen up a bit. He was getting more comfortable with the camera and while he’d probably cringe while looking back at the footage, at least he was having fun right now.

He had a warm feeling in his chest that wasn’t usually there when he was streaming alone, sure it was usually fun but nothing was better than being with his friends while doing it, there was really only one person who was missing. 

As if on queue, chat started spamming Tommy’s name, for a moment Techno thought he had been mumbling his thoughts out loud, before he looked between Phil and Wilbur, who both seemed equally confused. Moving Wilbur’s mouse over the chat to pause it, Techno tried to read some of the messages. 

“Oh he tweeted something” he mumbled, pulling his phone out of his pocket without a care. Maybe some irl streamers would have used the computer but knowing Wilbur’s history, he doubted it could run Chrome and streamlabs at the same time. 

Looking at the tweet he felt a little pang of guilt. It was lighthearted and jokey but he knew there’d be a little truth to it. He nudged the other two and read it aloud to them. 

‘Damn guess I’m not a sleepy boy after all’

The air felt a little thick after that, they hadn’t meant to exclude Tommy; all of the excitement of Techno coming to stay had just made it a little hard to arrange to have Tommy here after all. 

Still, they probably should have still told him though. They were supposed to be each other's family.  

“Hey chat I think we’re gonna have to end stream early.” Wilbur finally piped up, deciding it wouldn't be right to carry on when they had hurt their friend, not that chat needed to know that though, he didn’t want to embarrass Tommy. 

“I feel kinda sick and I don't think you all wanna watch me vomit right? Yeah so it’s best we end it now” 

Techno sniggered to himself at that, in games Wilbur always seemed to be very cunning but he supposed he wasn’t very good at lying when it was about something he actually cared about. Said something being Tommy.  

After raiding Fundy, the trio hopped straight onto discord. 

Tommy didn't answer the first time he was called. 

Or the second. 

Finally, after three calls, Tommy decided he’d talk to them. 

“You are all a bunch of dick heads, you know that? What the hell! Why wasn’t I invited to the sleepy boy’s stream! Wilbur you bitch!” Through all the vulgar language and the constant yelling, it was clear that Tommy was genuinely upset. 

He had every right to be, as far as Techno was concerned. From his point of view his friend’s had just gone off and hung out without him. He just hoped he’d calm down once they explained everything.  

“You know I thought we were friends! I thought we were brothers! But if you don’t wanna hang out with a ‘kid’ you can just tell me and i’ll- i'll go!” He was still yelling, as usual, it was clear he was trying to make this into a joke where he could overreact but Techno noticed the small sniffles and the quiver in his voice. 

By the looks on Phil’s and Wilbur’s faces, they recognised it too.  

“Listen, Tommy” 

Wil was the first to talk, it made sense, it seemed that Tommy trusted him the most at times. Sometimes Techno could be a bit too cold and sometimes Phil could get a bit too overbearing.

Techno understood this, he didn’t take it personally, he knew it was only natural that you have people you trust with your emotions more than others. It didn’t mean Tommy didn’t love them just as much, just that they weren’t his ‘go-to’ when he felt down. 

Techno felt the same way sometimes. Feeling’s got complicated and personally he thought Phil was the best to talk to about that, the fact that he was older and had his life sorted out gave him a sense of comfort, like he could trust him because he knew what he was talking about. 

“We didn’t plan a meetup, it just sorta happened. Phil was at my place, helping me record, and then Techno’s Uni had a fire and he needed a place to stay while they’re making it safe again” Wilbur sighed as he heard Tommy moving on the other side of his mic. Techno wondered what he was doing. 

“We would have invited you, had we known that we’d all be in the same place Toms” 

Phil took over, giving Wilbur a little sympathetic smile. The brunette so obviously felt guilty about the situation. 

“But when we got the call from Tech’ it was past 3 in the morning and it was tipping it down with snow, as soon as we got home we all slept. We decided to do a stream this morning but never once did we intend to try and make you feel like you aren’t welcome with us” 

Finally it was Techno’s turn to talk...Fuck.

He wasn’t exactly the most sentimental guy, he struggled to show his emotions and he just assumed everyone he cared for just knew that he cared for them. He rarely had to say it out loud. God okay. He just had to swallow his pride and go for it. 

“Tommy you are a sleepy boy and you are our brother. We did kind of a dick move today and if I was you I’d probably be upset too. I know I didn't like seeing you guys playing without me during MCC and that wasn’t even any of our decisions. We should have called you or something. I know I kinda tease you a lot but that’s just how I show I like people. Listen Tommy if I didn’t care about you I wouldn’t be comfortable enough to make those kinds of jokes with you. It’s not funny if it’s hurting you though..”

Techno bit his lip, this wasn’t as hard as he had anticipated but it was coming out like word vomit. 

“You’re young Tommy but you’re so talented. We love you”

There was some more rustling, it sounded like Tommy was wiping his eyes. Maybe the boy had expected a yelling match, only for it to turn out to be very emotional. 

“I love you guys too.. If you ever exclude me ever again though I’m getting my vlog knife out”

[monochromemedic]

Ok but what if Fallon was a twitch streamer

Fallon tapped away at his computer, adjusting his large expensive camera that was pointed at his face, and checked his soundboard for quick commands. He didn’t have any plans for today. He didn’t usually, unless a game came out.  Sometimes he’d talk, sometimes he’d do something crazy and unusual for the stream but most of the time, it was games. He took a quick look at himself in the camera one last time, slid on his sunglasses and started the stream, sending out notifications and a wait screen for people to gather. Of course it didn’t take long. Some people knew Fallon’s schedule like it was integrated in their soul. Others were just quick on the notifications he supposed. As soon as he saw a few people get in he tapped his pencil and began to view possible things from the list of things he had written down. A few minutes later and the chat was bumping. Inside memes, emotes flying, general talk and talk about Fallon himself was rampant. It only flew by faster as he unmuted his mic. “Hey guys, welcome. How’s it going?” He gave a little laugh when chat blew up, and only made people spam an emote he had that was used when Fallon was usually astonished or flustered by chat. He would always give a laugh when people responded so quick and fast. He was amazed at the following he had. “Good? Have a nice meal? Nice weather? Oh what’s that? That a link to- to my face on a ice cream and chat eating it that’s great, won’t give me nightmares.” He chattered before stretching and switching the camera to his face. “Hey. So I’ll be honest. Haven’t a clue what to do today. BUT. Isn’t that how most of our best streams go?” He raised his hands a little before putting them behind his head, swerving a bit in his gamer chair. “So what do we do. Any suggestions? Maybe we’ll just talk and have a bunch of mini things to do.” He looked a chat, swarming with suggestions, some he remembered that he promised to do, mostly joke ones, and some that alot of people were doing. “No taking shoes off, no... you gotta pay for my premium- not even Onlyfans, it’s Onlystans, Onlysimps. It’s like a cult you gotta make a blood sacrifice to get in. There’s like... only 3 other people on the site but you know what the managers there, real sweet.” He chuckled a bit at the reaction of the chat before sliding back up to the computer and starting up a few things people suggested. “Alright how about some shitty games. We’re doing that today, just the absolute bottom of the barrel. See how long it takes to tear our eyes out. Actually you know what.” He sat back in the chair again, hand on his chin. “I’ve seen... alot of shitty games. That just reuse the same assist. Cause you know their pumping this shit out trying to get a quick buck so how about this. We play a few crappy games, and then we go into a certain subgenre. Some real popular thing right now, like a FNAF. And we get some of those and we see how much is recycled and we get a drinking game out of it. Hell we’re look at a few to look at together make a bingo sheet of drinks!” He proclaimed Chat seemed to like that with the amount of pogchamps in the chat. Other people told him that he’d be dead in 10 minutes. “Hey if I get drunk, I get drunk! I don’t anything to do today, do you? I mean if you do maybe get a orange juice or something don’t get plastered. I get paid to get plastered. I get to be the dancing monkey.”  He went to a site and told chat to begin choosing a few and making stuff to go on the bingo card while he got some beers. And soon they had a list of games and a complete bingo card. Some of the games were pretty good in all honesty. Well considering they were trash. Although there was always something in them that made chat go mad with laughter.  A glitch, a funky texture, and later on the reoccurring assets. Soon he was plastered, his face red and sweaty, hair a mess as he tried not to lose his mind over the shitty model of a monster that slid across the ground. People were clipping it, making fun of him for laughing and saying how he was gonna piss his pants with how much he was laughing. It was only when someone in chat called him cute did he  pull his hoodie over a part of his face and paused the game. “No don’t call me cute, I got like... snot runnin down my face and like... i’m on the edge of just barfing.” A few people in the chat agreed, sending him hearts while others teasingly insulted him with jokes like how big of a chin and nose he had, and how ratty his hair was. He was in the middle of laughing and blushing as he waved  at the camera, people calling him handsome and cute. “Nah we gotta... we gotta look at this bear man this ain’t about me i mean look at the funny bear! I mean look at the funny fucking bear.” He sat back up and turned switched the camera to another wait screen, one with a little pair of sunglasses being wiped down that he used when he needed to take his glasses off, and began to wipe his eyes from the tears.  As he wiped down his glasses that were covered in sweat and tears he saw something out of the corner of his eyes in chat. ‘i’m new here, what’s with this guy and the sunglasses?’ A mod sent a command to a bot that spewed out a message, and he realized he hadn’t talked about it in a while. Well uh, as far as he could remember in his little haze. “I saw... someone in chat ask about the glasses.” He began, forgetting to turn his camera on before quickly changing it back, glasses back on his face. “I mean it’s in the description but... I haven’t said it in a while and like maybe I should just for... people who don’t read.” He said with a little snort. A few people in chat started to explain while others just gave a ‘they don’t know’ and a custom emote of Fallon with his glasses down and question marks for eyes. “Um... so. God I shouldn’t explain things while drunk. Uh. I know I put in the description don’t ask, and if you keep bugging me about it I ban or silence you for a while, and i know that’s a bitch move on my part. But i’ll give you some... Fallon lore. I know I might have said this a looong time ago but i’ll just say it again. Realsies, no jokes. Um...” He checked chat again, who were now slowing down, a bit quiet waiting for him to talk. “I uh... I got some problem with eye contact? Like I mention that too in the descripty... but like it’s real... real bad. It’s not like uncomfortable I know that’s what you all think I just get uncomfortable but it’s nooott.... that. I... freak the fuck out. Don’t know why. Just feel like shit when I do, hate being stared at without my glasses, hate looking at people back without em. So I wear sunglasses, the really dark ones, so I can see you, and you can see me, but we don’t like... see each other ya... know? Uh it feels like, the world is looking down at me, and I feel like shit and garbage, and just like... the worst disappointment so yeah-” He gave a little laugh and watched the chat who were spamming hearts and understanding messages. He probably would appreciate it more if he wasn’t plastered but he did stare at the chat for a while just watching the messages fly by. He had to take a second before shaking his head and blinking, before looking back at the game. “Won’t lie, I just stared into like the 6th dimension there. Sorry. Uh... thank you for the nice messages this is... stupidly nice. For ... what’s on the screen right now. You’re all super kind. Honestly this is why I do dumb shit like this and I talk to you about this stuff because you guys aren’t... assholes. You under- well... maybe not understand me at times but you at least put up with my bullshit and like me and you know if I can give even a little bit of love and appreciation back in some form. With dumb jokes and playing shit games it’s ... it’s the least I can do.” He slurred, before sliding back into his seat and taking a swig of water. “Alright let’s get back to the game, I bet some of you aren’t as plastered as you could be. If I don’t see one of you message me, and be like ‘Fallon, I just saw god when I went to go take a piss, i’m suing your ass’ I’m... i’ll be disappointed I don’t know about you guys. He continued to play for a some time, switching to water so he didn’t pass out and eventually ending the stream on a rather sweet note, with a few people saying how they couldn’t wait for the next stream. With the stream off he watched the chat die down into nothing, wiping his brow and smiling before shutting it all down.  His family might have given up on him, and seeing how he lived probably would make them upset. But he honestly didn’t care, he knew that at least he was good in a few peoples eyes.  And that’s all that mattered to him.

[exhoe-imagines]

the green room → jww

summary → watching wonwoo’s twitch streams had always been something you’d enjoyed, but never in a million years did you think you’d run into him so casually at his daytime job

word count → ~2k

genre/warnings → gamer/streamer!au, florist!au, gn!reader who is oblivious to flowers and their meanings, random overwatch references that i had to guess on bc im clueless djfkdsjfsd

a/n → SO @gamerwoo did not think i could attack her,, hence this fic was born !! i pray it will wound her the way i am hoping for !! also any references to overwatch were made from the content i see about it on her blog/faq so thank u rocket for unknowingly educating a dumb bitch like me 😪

“Anyway, I’ll see you guys tomorrow at the same time.” The boy smiled into his webcam, giving a shy wave to the screen. His brown eyes were hidden behind his round glasses, but they did little to cover up the flustered blush that covered his cheeks. It was obvious, as usual, that ending a stream proved to be difficult for him -- the awkward void of noise from his game commentary or the sound effects coming from his computer speakers leaving him in uncomfortable silence as he said goodbye.

You giggled softly as the stream turned black, before his offline screen popped up, displaying his social media and schedule links in a thin blue font. There was no need to click on them, at least for you, since you’d memorized his handles and stream times months prior.

To call you a fan of gamerwoo_96’s twitch would have been a bit of an understatement, one could say. You were quite picky with who you spent your free time watching, especially when it came to hour long streams. Besides Wonwoo, which was his real name, only a few other lucky gamers had you regularly on their accounts -- notably, yutodagames and pcy92, but your casual viewing on their channel was nothing compared to your dedication to Wonwoo.

There was something about how natural he was at playing, that you and his other couple hundred regular followers greatly appreciated. He didn’t seem dedicated to becoming big on Twitch, even showing signs of embarrassment when a large number of people tuned in for his streams. However, no one, not even himself, could deny his channel grew rather quickly.

You’d stumbled across his account one Saturday while looking for Overwatch players, and you’d been hooked ever since. He wasn’t as loud or annoying as other guys his age on Twitch, but he wasn’t too quiet either, where it made it uncomfortable. He commented on things every now and then but stayed focused and would go silent every few moments. It was a nice balance, allowing you to concentrate on the gameplay, but also get to hear his thoughts, and very deep voice whenever he voiced his opinion on something.

Of course, you’d be lying if you didn’t say his looks kept you on his channel as well. He was cute, that much was obvious. His loose white shirts and tousled hair always gave him a laidback look, that contradicted the focus he’d put into his gameplay. Wonwoo’s nose would scrunch, his eyes squinting behind his gold glasses. It was downright adorable, and completely uncalled for considering he was already the prettiest gamer boy you’d ever seen.

Months later, you were still tuning in for his morning Saturday stream -- a perfect way to start your weekend if anyone asked you.

You clicked out of Twitch and closed your laptop before rolling on your back, letting out a deep sigh as you sunk into your bed. You had a list of errands to run, but you’d been putting them off, deeming Wonwoo’s stream more important. However, now that it ended, you had no excuse for putting off your tasks.

Begrudgingly, you got out of bed a few minutes later, trudging to your bathroom to get ready.

Mentally, you’d already planned your schedule for the day. Grocery shopping and getting gas were first, then gift shopping, and lastly, meeting your friend later in the afternoon to celebrate her birthday.

As expected, the first two errands were nothing special, and you got them done rather quickly. However, the next one was not as simple. Your friend had always loved flowers, and you wanted to get her a big bouquet when you greeted her. The only problem was, florists in your area were rare, which meant you had to drive out of town to find one.

“Thank god I don’t have any cold groceries,” you mumbled, before setting off on your detour.

When you finally pulled up to The Green Room, you were pleased with what you saw. It certainly seemed worth the drive, beautiful baskets and arrays of flowers decorating the outside of the small white shop.

Making sure you had your keys, wallet, and phone on you, you made your way to the entrance, noticing it seemed to be empty from your view through the large windows. Shrugging it off, you pushed the door open, a little bell sounding your arrival.

“Good morning,” a smooth voice from behind the counter greeted you. For a second, a slight feeling of recognition passed through you, and when you turned to face the cashier, you understood why.

Wonwoo stood there, a white apron tied around his waist, and a polite smile on his lips. Your eyes widened and your voice was caught in your throat, something he noticed quickly.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” he asked, probably viewing your silence as confusion.

You had to be seeing things.

You shook your head quickly, squeaking out a response. “I-I don’t think so.”

Wonwoo nodded, looking back down at the book on the counter he had open. It was almost finished, and you swooned internally.

A bookworm too? you thought, how perfect is this boy?

Not wanting to stare too long, you scurried towards the back of the shop, trying to make yourself look busy as you racked your brain for an explanation as to why Wonwoo was running the one flower shop by your house. He’d never mentioned where he lived or where he worked, obviously, but never in your life did you imagine that out of everywhere in the world, he was a mere hour from your apartment complex.

What kind of fucking coincidence is this? you screamed internally, barely paying attention to the flowers as you passed them. Speaking of, you couldn’t wait to tell your friend -- she’d gotten sick of hearing you fangirl over your “little gamer boy” as she liked to call him. She was truly in for a treat now, as you’d probably never stop talking about the fact that you met him.

There was nothing you wanted more than to go back up to the counter and talk to him, but you had to get the flowers you’d come for.

The only problem was, you had no idea what to buy.

Your friend had told you all her favorite flowers, but there were so many, and with the thought of Wonwoo at the front of your mind, there was no way you were going to be able to remember them all, let alone know what they looked like.

Letting out a sigh, you decided to pick out a few flowers that looked pretty, and would maybe look nice together. It was the best you could do, and you only hoped your friend would appreciate the effort.

Sadly, it must have been pretty easy to spot how clueless you were, since, after a few minutes of picking different flowers, footsteps sounded near you.

“Who are you shopping for?” Wonwoo asked, as he stood next to you. His proximity and the natural warmth radiating off his form had you stuck in place, unable to escape.

“M-my friend.”

He hummed. “Special occasion?”

You nodded. “Her birthday.”

At that, Wonwoo visibly held back a wince. His eyes darted to the flowers in your hands before he looked back at you. “Maybe white lilies wouldn’t be the best choice then.” His voice was reserved, like he was worried about criticizing your choice. “They’re usually meant for funerals,” he awkwardly explained, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Oh god,” you groaned, “I really have no idea what I’m doing here.”

Wonwoo chuckled at that, visibly loosening up at your response. “It’s alright, it’s more common than you think.” He held out his hand, sending you a smile. “I can go put those back if you want me to help you make a new bunch.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “That’d be great, thank you.”

Wonwoo nodded, taking the flowers from your hand, his fingers long and warm as they brushed against your palm.

Hearing him ramble about flower types a few moments later was one of the greatest things your ears had ever been blessed with. You’d always liked his voice, but hearing him explain the different flowers and their meanings was the most you’d ever heard him talk at once, and it was amazing. Clearly, the shop was a huge passion of his, which you thought fit his personality perfectly.

“A couple of these alstroemerias, for friendship. Some yellow and orange gerberas too, maybe.” He was clearly mumbling to himself by then, plucking different flowers from around the shop and fitting them between each other. His skill was visible immediately, the bouquet effortlessly beautiful as he crafted it without a second thought.

By the time he was done, you were in awe. He sent you a sheepish smile as he led you back to the front counter, setting the flowers down as he moved behind the cash register.

“Thank you so much,” you said, pulling out your wallet as he told you the price. It seemed unusually low, compared to the price tags plastered across the store. You brushed it off, assuming a sale was happening or something.

“You’re really good at this,” you mentioned, as you picked up the bouquet, careful not to mess up all his work. “I wouldn’t have expected that.” You said the words before you could catch yourself, eyes widening as you looked up at Wonwoo.

His eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

You internally cursed yourself. There was no going back now. “I um, I’m used to seeing you on Twitch.”

You waited for the awkward response that would make you feel like a creep, but Wonwoo just smiled bashfully. “Really? I’ve never had someone recognize me, besides some friends and family, of course.”

You looked at him slightly in shock. “Are you serious? I watch your streams all the time,” you admitted, feeling some heat spread to your cheeks.

“What’s your username?” he asked curiously.

You told him, expecting he would just nod, but instead his eyes widened in recognition.

“You have the D.Va icon right?”

You tried not to openly gape, but the shock was too strong. Wonwoo, your favorite streamer, remembered you?

“Y-yeah I do.”

He smiled, glad he’d recognized you correctly.

“Well, maybe I’ll see you at the next stream then?” his tone was hopeful, and you nodded almost immediately.

“Of course.”

He nodded, and his usual awkwardness when it came to saying goodbye became apparent.

“Here um, take this, on me.” He grabbed a flower from one of the baskets behind the counter, and handed it to you with a blush.

You took it, mirroring his flustered expression. “T-thank you.” You smiled shyly before picking up your bouquet and waving him goodbye with your free hand. He tilted his head in response, and you quickly left the shop before he could notice how hard you were crushing on him.

You were able to hold back your scream of excitement until you made it to your car, when you slammed your hands against the steering wheel with a squeal.

However, nothing compared to your excitement when your friend noticed the flower Wonwoo gave you, a knowing smirk spreading across her face.

“Wonwoo gave you that?” she asked, grin growing as you nodded. “Did he tell you the meaning?”

You shook your head, and her expression brightened.

“Well,” she sing-songed, “if that ranunculus means what I think it does, it seems like a certain gamer boy finds you very attractive.”