#why do i always end up rambling in the tags jeez

[jeagerhearts]

Hey bestie, quick question,,,,,, favorite color?😃🤝

HEY BESTIEE😁 hmmm i’d probably have to say pink or green😋😋 whats yours😼

[ashestospace-fics]

Gross Otaku

Character: Leviathan from Obey me

Reader: Male

G: NSFW

Word count: 3,797

Masterlist

-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-

Tags: degrading, humiliation, topReader, BottomLevi, teasing, slight FootJob, swearing, reader kinda of a ass

It wasn't rare for you to always find your way back into Levi's room. Most of the time you two ended up either playing video games or just watching a new series he was gushing over. You liked spending time with him, even though dealing with any of the demon brothers might be a pain, you had the same interests as the 3rd born Otaku, so it was easy for you two just to get along when he realizes you aren't just some normie trying to pretend to like his same interest. Might be one of the reasons he fell for you so easily from the start. You like the same things he did, and actually, we're into rambling about your shows with him.

But one of the things he didn't expect from you while playing online or any competitive game was to go full-on sailor on anyone who would start shit. Sure he already used to lobbies with people insulting each other and swearing, but it just hit different when it was you. A human full-on destroying other demons who would start insulting other players unprovoked. It was almost terrifying how you drag the filth into some of these guys with a few phrases and just roast them alive. Levi found it arousing, even though you were insulting and being a dig without mercy, sometimes he wanted to degrade him to the point of killing him with humiliation. But oh no, that will be way worse for him. What would his dearest friend think if they found out he was actually turned on by something like that?

A dirty Otaku who gets turned on by being called filth? Oh, he could never live past the day if it were to come. You for sure will never talk to him ever again and go for one of his brothers instead! That would be so unfair, Levi quickly brushes those thoughts away. Now wasn't the time to indulge in his fantasies, you were gonna be coming soon and he was almost done setting the table for your nightly gaming session. This time making sure that extra sodas and sweets were around as he sat up from the coshing on the floor. His computer place opposite to where yours was gonna be.

Levi was a sucker for this setup, both of you got matching PC covers and set and he just loves that you weren't far from his reach if he was to accidentally stretch his hands on the desk or his foot to brush against yours, it would be by the distance and he wouldn't get caught being weird. It was just so perfect in his little head. Already multiple scenarios were starting to reach upon his head to hear you knocking on the door. If you were to tease him or push him around, his mind always wonders about that somehow.

You quirk a brow as you open up the door. Levi standing in front of the table staring down on the light-up screen fail to notice you approach behind up. You notice the light blush on his cheeks as you stood behind him.

"watcha thinking about that got your face all pink like that?" You spoke, Levi screech as he jumps slightly at the sound of your voice. Face going Pinker as he lifted his arm up in a normal fashion to cover his face.

"Oi! W-what are you doing sneaking up to me like that?! Learn how to knock!" He blurted out as he steps back a bit. His leg hitting the table, you scoff back in return as you went around to put your PC down.

"I did, Maybe you would have heard me if you weren't spacing out like a dork" you flop down on the cushion on the floor. A groan passing your lips as you use your arms as support to look up at him.

"Oh..." He mumbled out, the pink on his face slowly calming.

"Yeah, Oh's right, Now come on and sit down I'm hype to start!" You motion a hand towards him.

He just sighs in response as he sat down. Levi's eyes glance up to you putting on your headphones as you got everything ready. You two already had planned before what games you will play and order, so far all of this was like normally scheduled game night. But still, a part of him felt embarrassed that you caught him spacing out while thinking about you. That just so uncool, Levi groans again as he started the match. Maybe he can just play this off and get in the zone when you two start playing. Ignore all about his stupid crush on you and about how close you are and how it will only take a bit for him to move his hand and- darn it Levi concentrate! He can let his fantasies of being with you ruin your relationship now.

Regardless of Leviathans inner monologue to fight back his thought, you on the other hand already notice he was shifting in his spot. You caught on time to time on this, but just brush it off as one of his anxieties tics so you put not much thought into it. Now as you two play a few rounds, everything seemed to go as normal. A few normal lobby encounters here and there. Until the last round of your match, there was this one guy just shit-talking for no reason and everyone was starting to get annoyed at this point. Levi could see your eye twitching from his spot the more this guy kept talking. Just a few more minutes and it would be over and you'll two will move on to the next game.

"You guys suck, what the fuck even is that shot dude? Crappy aim and a shit load of fuc-"

"Man shut up already, I get it, you don't have any friends and no one likes you at home. Your mom gotta deal with her shitty unemployed son living in her basement who doesn't shower. No one wants to hear how fucking pathetic your life is under all those big words buddy so how about you shut your pipe already?" You spat venom in each word as you kept on playing. Levi's eyes darted back up at you, face flushing pink quickly at your words. The guy got caught up in his words at your sudden outburst.

"man you shut the fuck up-"

"see? There you go only using curse words because your vocabulary is so limited. God you're so... pathetic, why don't you do us all a favor and stuff your mouth with one of those overuse sex toys in your room since you clearly never touch anyone before in your life" you said in a mocking tone, it was so clear against Levi's ears, he finds it unfair that you were saying all those things to some random dude and not him, his practically all those things you just said. He bit down on his lip as he shifted on his spot.

The people in the lobby commented their "ooh" and "damn" a few admitted how weirdly sexy your voice was while insulting the guy who was just mumbling cusses at you now.

"awe what's wrong? To shame to admit you're a gross stuck up who hides behind that overly big mouth of yours?" You let out a chuckle as you took the last kill of the game. "Fucking weirdo" you blurted out as you lean back while stretching your arms. Levi stares intensely at his screen. God, it was so so unfair that you talk like that right in front of him. He completely froze in his place as his eyes tried not to look down at the tent in his sweat pants.

Dammit

"jeez, could you believe that guy Levi? What a pain in the ass...huh your score went down in the last few minutes" you mumble out as you took a sip from your soda. Eyes trying to look over at the Demon whose head was looking down at the screen.

"hmm-hmm" he hummed back a response. His mind was going crazy as he prayed you didn't notice. Maybe if he just didn't move you'll just ignore him or he'll turn invisible by pure luck! Yeah Levi that's a great idea. You squinted your eyes at the top of his head. Shifting in place you stretch your leg under the table to push him slightly.

"Oi, Levi you gonna talk back to me-wow!" you pull your foot back as soon as you felt the hard tent between your sock. Eyes shotting open as Levi let out a surprise screech/moan as he jolted from his spot at your sudden actions.

Both of you froze as his eyes finally met yours, his face flush bright red as you stare in disbelief as you realize what you just felt by accident. You didn't mean it though, you were just gonna push him by the leg not shove your whole foot between his legs.

" w-wait y/n I c-can ex-explain! This so uncool, it's yo-your fault I didn't I mean I was-" Levi became a stuttering mess as he got caught. Your face going blank as you glance down the table to see that he was hard. You press your lips together in a thin line. Your expression on readable made it worse for the Otaku trying to make up any poor excuse on the spot. A hummed left your throat as your foot made contact with his hard-on again, just that this time you put full pressure as his hands flew down to grab your ankle as he let out a choked whine at your sudden action.

"W-what are you doing?!" He exclaims, humiliation washing over him as he made little effort to push your foot away as he didn't dare look back up at your penetrating gaze.

"My fault? You said it was my fault? How are you popping a Boner while in the middle of our game my fault Levi?" You scoff as you place a hand under your cheek as your elbow resting on the table. Levi panted as he tried to make a fail attempt to push his foot away. Face burning with embarrassment at two heavy his breath got against his chest.

The friction was about to be his guilty pleasure as you rubbed your foot up and down. A small pathetic whine leaving Levi's mouth as you press forward into his shaft. The sound of your chuckle made his whole body shake as you took another sip of your drink.

"wow, you really are enjoying this huh? Even though you're a demon and you could easily push me off, you just letting me step on your hard-on just like that?" Your eyes glance down, his feet reaching your side of your thighs as Levi legs feet and stretch. Your hands took a hold of his ankles and pull him closer as your feet press dangerous painful against his pants. Another scoff passing your lips as you watch his back arch at your sudden action. A shaky moan passing his lips as he finally looked up to you.

"so tell me, Levi, what was it that got you like this? You thinking about your anime girls or...." He quickly averted his eyes, a hand flying over to cover his face as he shook slightly, your previous motions stopping as you figure out.

"you got turn-on by me insulting that loser?" You let out a laugh as he tried squirming away. A quiet "n-no" reaching your ears as you retreat your foot and stood up. Making your way over to tower, Levi, as you looked down at him with your hands on your pockets.

"well?" You asked quietly, your voice dropping as you could see the corner of his eyes tear up as he refuses to look at you.

"i-I'm sorry I know I'm gross, I'm just a gross Otaku-" oh there he was, his normal phrase. You crouch down his height as looked at him. He quickly shut up, he was embarrassed to a godly extent but he would be lying that this wasn't making him hornier. I mean this practically one of the many ways he imagines you would take him. Humiliating him just like this, but the fact that you just touch him was already enough to make his mind start to go hazy.

"Yeah you're right, you are a gross Otaku, one that got turn-on by me insulting some guy, or were you just imagining that would be you? Hhm Levi?" You took a hold of his chin to make him look at you, his face felt warm against your fingertip as he bites down on his lip. It was hard for you not to strip him down and take him with that look on his face. But self-control is key in this current situation, and you were determined to see how far you could get.

"y-...yes.." he whispers out. A smile grew on your face as you pulled him closer.

"you know... you're really fun to tease, I wonder how far you letting me get away with this, look how pathetic your acting for a demon..." you breathe out, your lips barely grazing his as one of your hands rubs his thigh, legs close instantly as your palm press against his boner and your fingers dig down into his covered hole. A loud whimper passing his lips as you brought him for an eager kiss.

The hand holding his chin now on the back of his head as you pulled him closer. Teeth clashing between the heated kiss as Levi's hands hold onto your shoulders. Moans passing freely from his throat as his eyes shoot open wide. Body becoming warm as your hand-kept teasing and rubbing his covered cock. He felt already weak with what was going on, everything felt like was going on so fast and rough but was crabbing more and more by the second. The taste of the sweet you were eating prior still lingers in your mouth as you lick again his lips. His jaw going slack as he opens his mouth for you. Another breathy moan left his lips as he felt your hot tongue enter his mouth. This was what Levi was dreaming about and even more.

He gripped on your shoulder as you pulled away. Now both hands stopping your assault as you force him to lay down on the cushions scatter around the floor. Moving both his legs to straddle yours as you started taking off your shirt. If it was even possible Levi's face went redder as he stares at your torso in awe, a smirk rose to your lips as you grip the edge of his shirt and jacket.

"what? Enjoying the show you gross Otaku?" This time it was your turn to let out a groan as you grinded against his groin. You were already hard with all this foreplay, your breathing was starting to hitch against your throat. Levi whined at your words, his slender fingers fumbling around to get desperately rid of his clothes. Your teasing and words already had him in state at this point and you enjoyed how easily he was crumbling to them.

A low sigh passes your lips, your hips rocking against him slowly as your eyes trail up his chest, he was slim but still fit. Both your hands trailing up his bare skin until reaching his already hardening nipples. You lean down and kiss between his chest as you grinded harder against him. Quiet moans passing his lips as he covers his face as he still peeks over to look at your actions. Embarrassment written all over his cute flustered face had you smiling slightly before trailing higher as you left a trail of kisses. A shaky moan passes his throat as you licked up, your lips meeting their way up to his earlobe and nibbling it.

"you like it when I tease you, Levi?" You asked quietly, a moan In a response made you stop grinding. You wanted to hear him say it, god you needed him to be a good boy and admit that he's gross for being turn on like this. Levi shooked his head as he gripped your shoulders, he feels the outline of your cock against his sweat pants and he felt like he was melting on the spot with how close it.

"y-yes.." he whispers out, he tried grinding his hips pathetically to make you continue.

"you like it when I call gross? Hmm? You wanted this whole time to point out how nasty you are for being an Otaku who's choices to gets stuck at home?" Your tongue swirls the back of his ear before biting it.

He arches his back as his grinding became desperate. A loud cry left him as hold into you. He couldn't control how hot his body was feeling, he felt like he was gonna burst if you didn't keep touching him.

"y-yes! I like it, I love it when you call me gross, and I r-really need you to fuck me and put me in my place now! Please d-don't stop Y/n!" He kicks his legs as he shouted. Your eyes winded as you pulled back to look at him, tears falling down his face as his breathing became a mess. Your thumb brushing it off as you lean down to kiss all over his cheek gently as your free hand pulls his waist up to get rid of his sweats and underwear in one go. A sigh of relief passing Levi's lips as his length press against his lower stomach.

"Jeez, your so needy for my cock is makes you look pathetic Baby" you chuckled, truth be told that your heart was beating against your chest widely. You pulled down your pants, the cold air hitting your dick made you shiver slightly as you kick the clothes out of the way. Levi's hands flying over to cover his mouth as you spread his legs apart even wider.

You swallow hard, the view almost made you dizzy as his hole clench around nothing as it glistens with his wetness. A brow crock up as you press a finger inside of him slowly, it sucked you in eagerly as Levi moan loudly.

"How are you this dripping wet down here? You look like a bitch in heat or is that something Demons go through?" You bite your lip as you push another finger in with ease, pumping them fast with how eager he was taking your hand.

"h-hm, oh f-fuck, um uh ye-yes?" Levi squeaks out the answer as he holds into the cushion under him. Your fingers felt so good, he for sure felt like he was on cloud 9, he was craving so much more than your fingers but even with them, he was falling apart.

"hmm, that should be interesting when it comes heh" you press your fingers upwards, hitting his prostate with so much ease it almost amazes you how loud he screams just by that, as he threw his head back. You let out a whistle as you pulled your fingers away from his aching hole. Another whine left him at the absence of your digits, he almost came just by that.

"quit whining, If you wanted me to fuck you" you hiss out, your cock press against his dripping hole was making it twitch. Levi looked back down, eyes glossy as he lifted his legs to his chest as he holds them for you. One of your hands made it to his waist as the other hold your cock, slapping it against him before thrusting yourself halfway in without warning.

Both of you groan loudly as you stood still, he was tight no matter how much he was leaking. He was clenching down on you hard, Levi could feel his mouth water as you push the rest of your cock in his tight hole. He could feel every vein pulsating inside of him, that pre-cum was leaking out his tip. He curses loudly as you pulled back and thrust back into him. Starting with a fast speed as your hips snap against him every time.

"f-fuck your tight, you practically sucking me in" you groan loudly as you grip on his waist, the smacking sound of both your flesh hitting against each other vibrating against the whole room as Levi said your name like a mantra. It felt so good, he felt like he was going to pass out with how good you were fucking him. He didn't want anything but your cock to stuff him full.

"w-what's wrong? You little anime waifu can't fuck you as good as my cock?" You hiss out. "M-mh a-ah fuck n-no! I only want your cock, fuck I only want you to stuff me like this all the time" Levi screamed as he panted between each thrust, you were not slowing down at all. Each time thrusting into the bundle of nerves that was about to make him snap and tip over. His mouth hanging open as drool fell down and his eyes cross, God you thought it was the hottest shit ever.

"Good, good little Otaku, Be good and cum all over yourself like the gross nerd you are- fuck" you moan as you fell on top of him, you never been this riled up. Your hips never stopping once as you kept thrusting harder into his aching hole. Levi's hand made their way up to your face and kiss you roughly. Drowning each other moans as you kept abusing his poor prostate until he came over you and his stomach. A loud cry left his lips as you kept thrusting into him trying to reach climax. Your lips silencing his cries as you gave one final thrust, pressing deep into him as you cover his inside white.

Both of you panted loudly as you regain your breaths. You pulled away slowly, both of you hissing at the feeling as you rolled over next to him. Now staring into the ceiling as your brains process your previous actions as your panting quiet down. You sat up, whipping your forehead as you looked back at him. His face still flushed as you brought your hand to push his bangs off his face.

"you look gross and sweaty, let's take a shower" you blurt out leaning down to kiss his cheek before standing up. Levi covers his face once again as he rolled over.

"This...is so unfair" he breathed out.

"yeah yeah I love you too, but like seriously, we need to shower you made a mess".

[sebsbrokentoe]

Supply Closet

masterlist

warnings: nothing, pure fluff, nosy Sam but we love him, nothing else i could think of. all mistakes are mine.

please like and reblog

word count: 1696

“What are you doing?” Sam eyed you curiously at the way you were hiding behind him, seeing as you were the same height as him, it was like a giraffe hiding behind another giraffe. 

“I’m looking for my dignity, can’t you see” You sarcastically replied to him as if it wasn’t obvious you were trying to hide from Bucky. 

You didn’t realise when you had a crush on Bucky, it just developed over the moments you had with each other. You both had gotten close over a few months. It started just as small glances when you passed each other in the hallway but then it became sneaking off in the kitchen talking about anything. Then it became more, you knew he had nightmares, which is why he came at any hour of the night to see you. You, on the other hand, just couldn’t sleep at night, you didn’t have nightmares or anything, you just couldn’t so instead you started to bake or cook whenever you couldn’t sleep. Tony had an unlimited amount of supplies so why not use them. You rarely shared your treats with anyone, so when you started offering them to Bucky and eventually making what he liked, you, along with the rest of the team put the pieces together, well everyone except Bucky. 

You tried to make your flirting obvious but every time you tried to flirt, you’d just make a fool of yourself and he’d laugh. Normally your flirting came naturally, especially with Bucky but you didn’t think he saw it that way. You were fine with things that way, you didn’t want to tell Bucky about your feelings in case you ruined your friendship, so you hid your feelings, horribly.

This time you decided to hide from Bucky because in your idiotic mind if you didn’t see him you wouldn’t have feelings for him. You swore you were smarter than that but not when it comes to Bucky. So now here you are, trying to hide behind Sam and doing a horrible amazing job. 

“Why the hell are you hiding from Barnes?” Sam stopped in the midst of his walk to turn around to talk to you.

“Don’t move he’ll see me, just keep moving and stop looking suspicious” You squatted behind him in case Bucky turned this way. 

“He’ll see us when we walk past him anyway and answer my question, why are you ignoring him?”  Seeing as your disguise wasn’t working, you quickly pulled Sam away in the opposite direction of Bucky, but he saw both of you and quickly misinterpreted the situation.

 Seeing as every time you ignored Bucky you would go to Sam, Bucky thought of the two of you becoming more than friends and he didn’t like how he felt about it. He was just bad at saying what he felt, especially when it came to his feelings for you. Normally he could talk about anything with you but he always felt flustered when it became about what he felt for you because you were special to him. When you came on the team and saw him around the compound, you didn’t hide from him and you weren’t scared of him either. You always greeted him with a smile on your face and since then instead of glaring at everyone who would give him a second glance he would give them a small smile as if your joy rubbed off on him. 

He didn’t even second guess himself when he started to talk to you about his nightmares. Every night, when he couldn’t sleep, he knew he would find you in the kitchen making something and just the sight of you standing in the kitchen with flour all over you was enough for him to calm down from whatever woke him up. So your conversations came naturally, there was no push to talk about anything and if it got awkward, you would quickly talk about something else, while Bucky listened to you. Bucky for the first time in a long time felt peace. Of course, he had Steve, but you were different, you didn’t know anything about him yet it felt like you knew each other for your entire lives. 

So when Bucky saw you heading off with Sam, he didn’t like what he felt. He didn’t want to come to conclusions but you’ve been acting weird lately. You haven’t been baking when he came into the kitchen at night, he never saw you around the common room anymore. He didn’t want to let anyone know, but he was worried, he was worried that he was losing you and he didn’t want to but he wasn’t one for a confrontation so he thought he’d try to forget about it for now. 

You successfully pulled Sam away from anywhere near Bucky and steered him towards a closet, not completely closing the door. To anyone else, it may seem like you were more than friends about to have a hot moment in the supply closet, but it wasn’t anything like that.

“Okay, you need to listen to me and don't interrupt me and I swear to God you better not tell anyone about this, got it?” Maybe you were overreacting but you’d rather not die of humiliation if everyone finds out that you have a crush on Bucky. It didn’t matter if they probably figured it out but both you and Bucky brushed the rumours, with the excuse that you were just friends and for a while you believed it, thinking that Bucky didn’t need to get in a relationship right now, so you never thought of it. But now, after all the time you two spent together, getting closer than others in the compound and the fact that he trusted you to talk about anything, you cherished that and part of you didn’t want to ruin the wonderful friendship you had. 

“Jeez woman alright, I won’t tell a soul that you’re in love with Barnes' “. That smirky ass held his hand up like he was being sworn in, almost laughing at you, but hiding it with a cough. 

“I’m not in love with him” You scoffed at that, even though he was right, but you didn’t want him to be right, because if he is, then if this got out to Bucky, you’ll be screwed and not in a good way.

He raised an eyebrow at your confession, not believing a word you said, but urges you to continue. 

“Okay, maybe I have feelings for him, but I can't let anyone know, especially Bucky. I don’t need my heart broken because I couldn't keep my mouth shut.”. You started to ramble not seeing what signals Sam was giving you, trying to ignore his distractions to continue your rant. 

“Hey um, maybe we should talk another time-” You interrupted him again, not understanding what he was h trying to do. 

“Stop interrupting me, I need to talk to someone about this and while you’re not my first choice, you’re here so shut up and listen” Before Sam could say anything, the door opened wider, with the last person you wanted to see behind it. Staring at Bucky with your mouth slightly opened, not saying a word, Sam slipped out between the two of you, not needed anymore. 

You tried to move but of course, you were having a dumb moment, which you had a lot around Bucky, but usually, you hid it better. Before you could say anything, Bucky closed the door behind him and walked closer to you and suddenly, the room seemed a hell of a lot smaller and jeez was it harm in there. He stopped right in front of you, which made it easy for him to hear your shaky breaths. 

“Why have you been ignoring me?” You were surprised, thinking Bucky would ask right away about what he heard between you and Sam, but you knew he wouldn’t understand your stupidity. So instead of beating around the bush, you decided to get to the point.

“I’m sorry, I just-, I was just being immature. I thought that I should stay away from you because I thought my feelings would get in the way and make you uncomfortable. I know you don’t like me like that so I didn’t want to tell you to mess up our friendship and I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you recently and I’m-”

Suddenly you were cut off by warm lips and you felt every emotion from that kiss. It was better than you could’ve ever imagined. He pulled back way too soon, showing that special smile that only a few have had the pleasure of seeing. You smiled back, the small curve on your lips turning into a full-on grin. 

“Do you need an explanation for that or do I need to do it again?” He said cheekily while holding your face with his large hands, both of you now laughing at his statement. 

“I don't think I quite got that, you may need to do it a few more times” You giggled again, linking your arms around his waist, pulling him closer to kiss him again, only this time being interrupted by cheering behind the door.

“Fucking finally” You knew that had to be Sam, who probably brought everyone else to see what was going to end up happening. 

“Shut up dickhead” Bucky yelled from your embrace, trying to sound stern, but you saw the small smile on his lips. 

I think we could finish this in the bedroom, don’t you think, I may still need help understanding what you meant” before you could even finish your sentence, you were lifted in the air, your legs latching around his waist, while he tried to get through the herd of ‘supporters’ outside the supply closet. Both of you were laughing, trying to get to the bedroom before someone followed you, knowing that someone definitely would.

“Remind me to tell F.R.I.D.A.Y not to let Sam near our room” You giggled in his neck, nodding slightly as he gripped your thighs more, leaving a small kiss on your temple. 

tags: @especially-obsessed​ | @leyannrae​ | @becca-e-barnes​ 

[missskzbiased]

Betting Big

Summary: As the one and only Seo Changbin, you would never think that you would be willing to pay for someone to go out with you. At least not until you met her. To be honest, not even after you met her but here you were now… Agreeing with splitting the money from a bet that you never made… And all this for what? Just to get a chance to make her fall for you

WC: 1,5 K

Genre: Romance, Fluff

AUs: High School, Fake Bet

Pairing: Seo Changbin X Fem! Reader X ???

Rebloggable Masterlist    //   Main Masterlist   // Tag List

Warnings: none

Notes: This is in “Changbin’s POV” although written as Self-insert

This is going to be a miniseries, I guess. I’m not sure how many chapters I want to make. I’d like if you guys could vote on this:

Minho as BFF to lovers for the Triangle

Han as Friends to lovers for the Triangle

No Love Triangle at all

                                                        ///

     Everyone but you wanted to be the popular guy.

     Not because you were above things like wanting to fit on the wild battlefield that high school was or because you didn’t need people’s approval to feel like a whole person, and even less because you hated being under everyone’s eyes… No. You were petty enough to admit that you loved the attention. The reason why you weren’t like everybody else was that you were the popular guy that everyone wanted to be. That’s right… You were what every single one of those kids wanted to become and you didn’t need to do anything to have your way.

     At least, that was what you believed exactly thirty seconds ago.

     The silent pause following your invitation wasn’t expected, and neither was the way her judgmental eyes scanned you from head to toes. There was this foreign feeling of being embarrassed, and that sudden urge to shrink and hide from the crowd that you didn’t allow to show on the surface. You were too cool for this. So you settled for clearing your throat, leaning on her table in what you hoped to be a flirty way, and glanced at your friends’ table in search of some sort of silent moral support that you were so in need of right now.

     You could say that you weren’t the most subtle human being in the world or else her eyes wouldn’t have snapped right to where you were looking at. As the bunch of overly stealthy people that you definitely were used to be with popularity clogging your better judgment, the four of your friends stared right into her eyes; the expression of a deer caught in headlights plastered over their face. If you had any hopes of not humiliating yourself to that strange girl in the corner ─ who you happened to have a big, fat crush on for at least one year now ─, they were immediately crushed by your own best friends.

     Very well.

     At least, it couldn’t get any worse than this, right?

     Then you learned the valuable lesson of not speaking too soon.

     “You want to go out with me?” That wasn’t the kind of incredulous tone that was meant to hide one’s excitement… It was more like that bewildered contempt that one cannot hide at all.

    She couldn’t even process the fact that you were bold enough to believe that the mere thought of dating you could ever have crossed her mind… And once more, the humiliation hit you like cold water coming directly from an angry, merciless waterfall. Was that how normal people felt in their daily lives? Jeez… It was so much better to be popular! How do those kids even handle that? Definitely not the life for you.  

     Your internal rambling had you missing the slow shift on her expression; rejection dissolving to give way to some kind of resigned interest: “How much?” She spoke up in curious confidence, and you must have been too lost on your thoughts because you had no idea of what she was talking about.

     “Excuse me?” You blurted out ever so eloquently.

     “How much is into this bet?” She asked as if it was the most reasonable thing in this world, and the lack of response had her scoffing, to further prove your point, “Really? You expect me to believe that the most popular guy in school would come all the way to my table, conveniently under his friends’ eyes, just to ask me out on a date with no second intention?” She raised her brows amusedly, chuckling at what seemed to be the best joke she had ever told anyone “Right” She huffed, crossing her arms and tilting her head to take a better look at you.

     That was the moment of the truth.

      You could either tell her that she misunderstood everything and explain how much you really liked her ─ which would put everything at risk because she clearly didn’t believe you could like someone like her ─ or you could play along with it and score a chance to win her heart on a date.

     The answer seemed to be pretty obvious to you.

     “Yeah, right” You laughed dismissively, pulling out the chair so you could sit down beside her. There was no sign of resistance in her face; moreover, there was a shimmering curiosity dancing in her expectant eyes, “You totally caught me…” You admitted grudgingly, shrugging to show her how much you didn’t care about it. Fun Fact: You actually did! And you would very much appreciate her to know that… Damn it! What the hell were you getting yourself into?! “So… Should we split it?” You suggested nonchalantly ─ just like the smooth son of a bitch you were.

     “What about fifty-fifty?” She proposed shamelessly; face twisting in a funny expression that tried to say that she didn’t care about it either but giving it away that she did, “How much is in for me? Like… A hundred bucks or something?” She leaned back on her chair before shrugging, not willing to admit that she was interested in this.

     “You’re good” You chuckled while nodding in agreement; mimicking her as you leaned back on your chair, “Sounds great, right? Getting a hundred bucks to date this hot stuff here?” You grinned as you gestured at yourself, getting nothing but an unimpressed look from her.

     “Look, Changbin…” She began hesitantly “If we’re going to make this work, it might be better for you to let me do the talking, okay?” She smiled sarcastically, looking at you with a mix of… You weren’t even sure what. Was constipation considered a feeling? If so, she looked constipated by your existence, “I’m not gonna lie… I want the money, and as long as we don’t have to do anything stupid like kissing or having sex, I think I’m in” She simply agreed while looking into your eyes.

      She had such pretty eyes… The most beautiful eyes you have ever seen… The type of eyes to hold so many emotions that you couldn’t help but wonder if those would ever be directed at you. Right now, you could see they were. However, the usually captivating trait wasn’t that heartwarming now… Not when there was nothing but pained resignation in them… Not when they made so damn obvious that she didn’t like you back… Not when they shift to sheer excitement to the sound of someone else’s voice.

     “Hey” Was the single word that brought her to such a state of happiness; eyes twinkling and a genuine smile cracking on her face as she looked to the guy talking to her “What’s this?” He asked while gesturing to the both of you before squinting his eyes in suspicion “This table has always been our, shortie, fuck off” He scoffed; sitting down as if it didn’t even cross his mind that you could stand up against him.

     “Short—?!”

     “Shut up, Minho” She rolled her eyes, even though you could see the amusement in them, “He’s here to ask me out on a date” She clarified nonchalantly; eyes attentive to his reaction.

     “Of course he is” He snorted, shaking his head in disbelief while poking his food.

     “I am” You stated seriously while boldly offering him The Look, “Is that a problem?” You arched your brow in a silent challenge.

     “I don’t know…” He dropped his fork; eyes connecting to yours with such a murderer intention that for a second you considered just playing it off as a joke “Is that a problem?” He asked back, studying your face.

     Thank Lord you were a proud Leo or else the “No, Sir” on the tip of your tongue would have slipped just like that from your mouth. Instead, you just returned his glare, choosing to be silent so you would not show him how much he scared the shit out of you. The silent battle was promptly cut off by the damsel in distress herself, a not-so-subtle kick under the table that had Minho wincing on his seat.

     “No, that’s not a problem” She stated firmly enough to end the discussion “I’m going out with him” Even though you were aware of that, it still made your stomach flutter.

     “Okay” He said bitterly; lips twitching slightly “So that’s not a problem” He forced a smile, picking his fork and scrambling his food mindlessly.

     “Great!” You offered her a bright smile, too excited to hide your true feelings.

     “Great” She stated monotonously “So… See you later?” She arched her brows as if to say that it was time for you to walk away.

      “Of course” You agreed promptly “I can walk you home later… So… We can arrange the details” You suggested hopefully, and she seemed to embrace the idea.

      “Sounds like a date” She smiled.

     “Yeah” You chuckled; rubbing your arm before waving at her and heading to your friends’ table.

     Well… Getting a date: Checked.

     Having your feelings reciprocicated: Hm… On progress?

     First confession meeting any of your expectations: Hell no...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rebloggable Masterlist    //   Main Masterlist   // Tag List

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[emletish-fish]

20 questions: Writer’s edition

thanks for the tag @botherkupo

How many works do you have on AO3?

8

What’s your total AO3 word count?

embarrassingly large. 

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Avatar: The Last Airbender, Pixar’s Coco, and Cobra Kai

What are your top five fics by kudos?

1: The worst prisoner (book 1)

2: The worst prisoner (book 2)

3: The worst prisoner (book 3)

4: Re-animated (No Zombies)

5: Stalking Zuko

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

This one honestly depends on my headspace, platform and where I’m at with the story. I never replied on ff.net, not because I didn’t want to, but because their reply/interaction user experience was very un-user friendly and I found it a little daunting. It’s easier on Ao3. I’d say I probably reply more on my current cobra kai fic, because I’ve stopped doing super long rambly authors notes (including link research!!) in every chapter, so when someone hits on something, or picks up on foreshadowing, I’m instantly like ‘gold sticker for you!!’ and I still have so much to say about stuff. I think previously, I ranted too much in my notes and kinda got it out of my system. 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I love happy endings, so I don’t really do this. I guess it would be a toss up between Worst Prisoner Book 2 - where I ended it on a cliff-hanger with the gaang all seperated, or No Zombies, where Hector was finally allowed to return to the land of the dead, which is happy, but obviously his family still mourn him. 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I plan on the ending for Good Boy to be so sweet it puts honey to shame.

Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

Nope.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

My lovelies, I wrote Zutara, so of course I did. (Jeez, The ATLA fandom was wild back in the day!) I did my best to stay in my lane, and tagged everything clearly to avoid drama with certain ships, but some people are just Drama Llamas. I learned too ignore it. (but it does suck - don’t do it kids). 

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve tried, but it’s really not my thing. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!! - And thank you so much glorious translators!! It is such a gift that you would take the time and effort to do that!

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Also nope. I’m an unreliable writing partner, as it’s either nothing at all or a 20k caffeine induced word dump. 

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Always, Zuko and Katara.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m confident I’ll finish good boy and worst prisoner. 

What’s your writing strengths?

Found family dynamics, and being ‘fair’ to characters. I generally only write for fandoms where I like all the characters, even if I don’t like their choices, and I think that comes across in my writing. I try to bring to the surface what makes each character fun/entertaining/great/still a good person etc. So odds are, if you see them in my fic, I like them.  I’ve been told I’m funny.  I’ve also been told I am a stomper of hearts.  So you get both with me. 

What’s your writing weaknesses?

So many words. I can’t find a way to say it more succinctly, and no, I like it all and I won’t cut anything out. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I generally avoid it, unless it is also going to be directly translated in the next line of dialogue or is abundantly obvious. It’s needlessly confusing otherwise. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

ATLA

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I don’t really have one. I love them all.  Currently Good Boy is using up all my creative energy (because Robby Keene is a good boy and he deserves so much better!)  So I’m re-reading that, to make sure everything jives with what I’ve written before. But I also love my ATLA fics and No Zombies.  Stalking Zuko will always have a special place in my heart though. It was my first ‘big fic’ and it was an unending delight to write. 

[aomine-ryo]

Hello🤍 in love with ur works 😍 can I request a scenario with Kise where his gf (who is one of the top students of school) is a fan of anime, fantasy (like hp, the lord of the rings, the Witcher, got and etc) and sometimes gets obsessed with characters or actors. So then one day he finds out that she is reading some nsfw with one of the actors, gets a bit jealous and decides to remind her again who is the best lover here😂 sorry if it’s a bit complicated😅

Aww I’m so glad you like my work!! Also this request hit so close to home omg if only I had a Kise 😔 Anyways, hope you enjoy!! xx

Scenario: Kise walking in on his s/o reading smut

Kise was very well aware about how much you enjoyed anime and other fantasy books and movies. Whilst he wasn’t one to enjoy reading, he was definitely always more than happy to cuddle up with you and watch movies and anime with you together. Even though it was the hundredth time that you watched the same The Lord Of The Rings movies all over again, Kise never complained. In fact, he found himself enjoying them almost as much as you did. That’s what he thought so at least, but he didn’t realise the extent to which you liked these characters and shows.

You’d often find yourself getting attached to many of the characters in the shows and movies you watched. Kise knew this because you’d often end up talking about them endlessly. However, he found it quite adorable how passionate you were towards it, so he’d always listen intently, sometimes even voicing his own opinions on the characters if he was familiar enough with them.

One day, Kise was hanging out at your house, not doing much other than just spending some time with you. You initially planned to help him out with some homework, but that surprisingly ended quickly so you guys just relaxed after that. The two of you got a bit hungry so Kise decided to head out to get some food. Meanwhile, you found yourself scrolling through Tumblr, going through the tags of one of your favourite characters from Harry Potter. As you did so, you saw a post that recommended this fan fiction. Curious about the plot, you clicked on it and began reading.

You soon came to realise that it was an nsfw fic, but you kept reading because it was quite well written and interesting. As you did so, you didn’t realise that Kise had returned from his food run because the music you played through your headphones was rather loud. When Kise entered your room and saw you hunched over your laptop, he decided to creep up behind you and check out what had gotten you to be so invested in your screen that you didn’t even notice him.

Kise’s eyes skimmed through the words on the screen in silence. Needless to say, he was shocked by how you could read something like this so casually. For some strange reason, Kise had a feeling of jealousy stir up within him. “I’m hotter than that character, Y/N-cchi should be this interested in me,” Kise thought to himself.

So being the needy attention-whore he is, Kise pulled your headphones out and leaned in close to your ear. “You know, I can do that stuff to you if you want,” he whispered, startling you.

“Jeez! Ryouta! You scared me!” you jumped, your hand reaching to your chest to make sure your heart didn’t stop beating.

Kise grinned, “What’re you reading there Y/N-cchi? I didn’t know you thought of Malfoy like that.”

You quickly shut your laptop as colour began to rise in your cheeks. “Huh? W-What are you talking about?” you stuttered, pretending like you didn’t know what he was talking about because you didn’t know how long he’d been standing over your shoulder.

“Don’t act dumb,” he pouted as he crossed his arms. “Do you find that stuff hot?”

You stared at him blankly, “No? Yes? I don’t know how to answer that. I just read it for fun,” you rambled, flustered as ever.

“Well, I’m quite sure that I can be 100 times better than whatever is written there,” Kise said smugly, making you giggle— though it was partly because you were still embarrassed.

“Oh really?” you challenged.

“Of course, Y/N-cchi! You should know that better than anyone by now,” Kise huffed before composing himself and coolly leaning back in towards your ear. “But I don’t mind reminding you,” he whispered, sending tingles throughout your entire body.

His lips began to leave kisses on your neck, causing your breath to hitch. “I didn’t know you got jealous this easily, Ryouta,” you joked, a smile spread across your face.

“Well, I just want to make sure you know that no one can make you feel as good as I do,” he said, voice low and raspy, making you go absolutely feral.

You pressed your lips against his desperately, and you could feel his grin against you. Next thing you knew, Kise was hovering over you on your bed, shirtless with his toned body on full display.

“You know,” you breathed, “I’m aware that no one can make me feel as good as you do.”

“Is that so?” he smirked.

“Yes, but why don’t you show me again?” you replied softly.

God, you drove Kise absolutely crazy. “With pleasure, my love.”

[amiwritesthings]

Fic Writer Questions

thanks to @venhedish for the tag, this actually got me thinking on a few things lmao

1 ) How many works do you have on AO3?

currently 17, will probably add no 18 tonight. there’s also a bunch only published on ff.net (from when i wasn’t on AO3 yet) and yet another motherload of self-indulgent shit rotting on my hard drive.

2 ) What’s your total AO3 word count?

80781 words, about 60k of that from this year alone. i took a major break from writing 2010ish and really just got back into it during quarantine last year.

3 ) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

7 on AO3. Supernatural, The Last Ship, Walker 2021, Men’s Hockey RPF, TVD, Graceland, Chicago Fire. for purposes of saving myself the embarrassment, we’ll limit this answer to just the AO3 stuff. 😂

4 ) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

ooooh boy, maybe a little embarrassment after all.

A Trip to the South (TVD)

hey lookie, my incest glorifying days did not actually start with SPN lol. Salvatore brothers feeding together, blood sharing and enjoying it. I blame this being at the top solely on the fact that it’s been up since 2013 because it’s really nothing special.

when i dream (I’m doing you all night) (SPN)

Collection of (mostly smutty) deanjohn Tumblr prompts, i can blame most of those on other people lmao

Holding on (until it’s over) (Graceland)

Episode Tag to 1x10, Johnny/Briggs because even then i was obsessed with manny montana and i refuse to apologize for it.

11:59 (Men’s Hockey RPF)

Sean Avery/Henrik Lundqvist Hooker!AU, and yeah that’s pretty much it.

even whiskey can’t do (what you do when you kiss me that way)

OG Stanford Era deanjohn first time smut, my first foray into SPN fics.

5 ) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

YES, i try to respond to all comments. sometimes RL gets in the way but as a rule i try to always respond. i love getting comments so i feel like appreciating the time the commenter took to bring me this joy. ♥️

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

boy, this is a hard one. I’m not all that good with writing angst but i guess if I had to pick something i’d say don’t give up now (there’s already so much at stake), mostly because of the character’s frame of mind in general and the impending threat of invading a foreign country to overthrow a dictator the next day while being mentally wrecked.

7 ) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i’m not against it but i’ve never actually done it.

8 ) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that I recall. but i guess it wouldn’t be the worst thing, i struggle way more with getting no feedback at all.

9 ) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

do i? DO I? yeah, i do. usually the kind the story requires which can range from soft to awkward to plain filthy. also whatever kind the kinky anons drop in my inbox, i’m trying to keep an open mind.

10 ) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i’m aware of. I don’t really operate in the super popular corners of the fandoms i’m in so i don’t think anyone feels the need to. it’d be pretty obvious to all the 10-20 people who are into that shit anyway lol

11 ) Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, not really running in the popular corners of fandom (rare pairs ftw) so imma say no. I could probably translate them myself but writing in my first language is fuckin awkward so no thank you.

12 ) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I’m a pretty solitary writer. I do love to come play in other writer’s ‘verses though if they don’t mind. i have written a few things in @vintagedean ‘s married!vibes for example (thanks for letting me play, dude!)

13 ) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

jeez, i don’t know. i’ve never really stuck with just one fandom, i’m a notorious multi-fandom multi-shipper. i’m the kind of person who watches eps of 4 different shows in one day and yells at the tv about all of them.

14 ) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

we make a long way from easy lovin‘ look good, baby. i was honestly so invested in this project but then they completely torpedoed this pairing in canon in the worst possible way and i kinda lost the drive to keep writing. i have posted it to my graveyard collection of unfinished stuff for now but i don’t think i will finish it, sadly.

15 ) What are your writing strengths?

creating emotions, hitting you in the feels, or so I’ve been told. i like to think that (given that English is not my first language) just reaching the kind of level i’m at now can be considered a strength.

16 ) What are your writing weaknesses?

run-on sentences, endless run-on sentences. they serve a purpose SOMETIMES but mostly it’s just me and my rambly writing style. and repetition. i have actually started searching my writing docs for specific phrases while editing to catch most of them and rephrase. not being able to include just a bit of angst without it turning into an existential crisis for the character and me. and the worst thing I keep doing that i’m not able to stop is writing shit out of order. i start with the beginning, then some idea for the middle pops up, then I write the end and then I have to somehow weave it all together, it’s so inconvenient and annoying.

17 ) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i speak a few languages (or you know, at least can understand/write/read them) so as long as i’m sure that it’s correct and it fits the story, I’m all for it!! language kink ftw.

18 ) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

it was either music or hockey rpf, i’m not even sure anymore at this point, that was like 20 years ago. nothing that ever got published anywhere lol

19 ) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

my name engraved on your heart, hands down. that is my beloved, my baby, the project nearest and dearest to my heart. i can actually read this and enjoy it without nitpicking my own writing at every turn and i’m just so happy with the overall vibe of it. it’s like a niche in a niche of a fandom thing though, so i get that it doesn’t resonate as strongly with others as it does with me but it is my favorite of favorites.

honorable mention to the house don’t fall (when the bones are good), though, because it’s what got me back into writing and it was my biggest (published) project and that fix-it needed to be written.

i think all my fellow fic writer mutuals have already been tagged in this, so i'm not gonna add y'all again but feel free to steal if this strikes your fancy.

[lightsupinthenorth]

Would you just say something?

Tags: smut, dirty talk, riding, fuck buddies to lovers, bottom Billy

Read on AO3

Billy is into dirty talk. Like, really into it. He discovers it when Harrington and he start fucking on the regular.

The first time it happens, they’re both fired up: somehow, they are fighting, as always, but they end up working their anger out through sex. There’s a lot of panting, and grunting, and neither of them say much of anything.

But then, it happens again, and again, and Billy starts talking. Because he can never shut up for too long.

He mostly talks to goad Steve into fucking him harder. Rough words said in a rougher voice. Like “are you gonna split me in half with your huge dick or what, Harrington?” or “is that all you’ve got, Pretty boy?”. It’s teasing, and kind of mean, sometimes, but it works. Harrington fucks him as hard as Billy asks. The act of spewing all that filth also gets Billy going, which makes a nice bonus.

He wishes Harrington would join in. He fantasies about it, even. About Harrington calling him a slut, telling him his pussy feels good around him, that it’s tight, and hot, and wet. When he’s really far gone, Billy imagines Steve calling him a good boy – or a good girl, telling him he’s pretty.

Steve doesn’t talk during sex, though. He never does. In fact, he barely makes any noise, and it drives Billy crazy. It takes a lot of effort to get a mere moan out of him. And, Billy would rather die than admit to it, but it’s disheartening really. Because it shows Steve is not as into the sex as Billy is, that he’s not as into Billy as Billy is into him.

He is planning on keeping it to himself, but he can’t help bringing it up one night, while they’re coming down from their high.

“It’s almost creepy how quiet you are when we’re fucking, you know that?”

Steve props himself up on his elbows and stares at Billy with wide eyes, his usually fluffy hair damp with the sweat he worked up because of how hard he dicked down Billy.

“Really? Does it… bother you?”

Even then, in the afterglow, Steve’s voice is low.

“Nah… I don’t care.” Billy lies. “It just wouldn’t hurt if you said something once in a while…”

“Like… talking dirty you mean?” Steve looks away as he says it.

“Yeah, like talking dirty, princess. I kinda like that, in case you hadn’t noticed.” Billy rolls his eyes.

Steve has a reputation of being clueless, but Billy knows he isn’t THAT clueless.

“Yeah”, Steve clears his throat. “I did notice. It’s just… I’m not very good at that, sorry.”

“Look, it’s fine. I don’t mind… It’s just… sometimes it feels like you’re not really enjoying yourself, is all.” Billy is mumbling, now. There’s no other word for it. And it’s a disgrace.

Steve is honest to God bewildered. How can Billy not know Steve is having the time of his life when they’re together? He’s actually creepily silent because he has to consciously restrain himself from making any noise. The thing is, Steve has no mouth to brain filter when he’s having good sex, so he’s terrified that, if he starts talking, he won’t be able to stop and will spill his guts to Billy. And there’s a lot to spill. Far too much, in fact.

If he tries to talk dirty, it will probably turn into whispering sweet nothings in Billy’s ear, or worse, confessing the feelings he caught even though they have a ‘no string attached’ arrangement. That sure isn’t the kind of talk Billy is into when Steve is balls deep inside him (or ever, certainly). It would kill the mood faster than their bed catching on fire could, probably.

“Oh, I’m enjoying myself, believe me. I didn’t think there was any doubt possible about that.”

The fact Steve can come four times in a single night spent with Billy, as he did tonight, should be proof enough that the sex is more than satisfactory. He used to take forever to come, and then he couldn’t get it up again for hours afterwards, but it is a whole other story with Billy.

“Oh, is that so?” Billy asks in a sultry tone.

“Yeah…” Steve sighs as Billy’s lips latch onto the skin above his collarbone.

He’s going to leave another hickey on Steve’s body, which is already covered in various marks, and Steve is living for it. He loves seeing the reminders in the morning, when he looks at himself in his bathroom mirror.  

“You think you can go for one more round?”

Steve wants to say yes. He does want another round, but he’s not positive his body can follow.

“I can try.”

He put his hand on the back of Billy’s head and thread his fingers in his blond curls. A whine escapes him: that small movement made him realize how sore his muscles are. Nonetheless, he can feel his cock harden under Billy’s wandering hand.

“Fuck” Steve groans, “I can barely move.”

“You don’t have to, pretty boy. Stay right there and let me do all the hard work.”

Billy straddles his hips.

“I’m gonna ride you so good, pretty boy. I’m still so wet and open from how hard you fucked me for hours, you’re gonna slide right in.”

As Billy guides Steve’s dick to his hole and takes him inside in one swift move, Steve can’t hold in a moan. The usually tight control he has over himself during sex is slipping. And can Steve really be blamed?  He’s on his way to a fifth orgasm and he’s all soft and pliant from the onslaught of pleasure. Billy’s mouth is as filthy as ever, but Steve can see he’s exhausted too. His whole body is covered in a sheen of sweat, his breathing is ragged, and his thighs are quivering around Steve’s hips.

That’s the hottest thing Steve’s ever seen. He risks going delirious any second, now.

“God, Billy, I swear you’re going to kill me.” Steve’s voice is strained, which is probably a sign he shouldn’t be talking. However, now that he’s started, he can’t bring himself to stop. He curses.

“Don’t die on me, Stevie, I’m not done with you.” Billy assures as he raises his hips before slamming back down, making Steve ignore his achy muscles and arch his back.

“Fuck, baby…” Steve’s already slipping up, calling Billy baby. It’s going to be a catastrophe, but there’s nothing Steve can do to prevent the train wreck from happening when the train is already going full speed.

“That’s it… talk to me, tell me how you feel.”

Steve is in no fit state to deny Billy anything, and he starts full on babbling.

“So good, Billy, feel so good. You always feel so good around me, so hot… Fuck, you look so beautiful, you always do. You’re perfect.”

Billy bites his lower lip and moans, his pace faltering. He stops for a second, with his ass flush against Steve’s pelvis.

Steve is afraid he came on too strong, but then Billy is bending down to kiss him, open-mouthed and sloppy, and starting a slow grinding motion. It effectively puts Steve’s worries to sleep.  

When Billy quickens the pace once again, Steve loses pretty much all coherent thought. He’s reduced to holding onto Billy’s thick sweaty thighs for dear life and mumbling curses under his breath.

However, there was apparently enough coherence left in him to formulate a declaration, and not enough restraint and self-preservation instinct to not blurb it out. Just as he’s about to come, Steve says: “I love you.”

And what a cliché, really, to blurt this during a bout of particularly passionate sex. Steve would be disappointed in himself if he weren’t overtaken by sheer panic.

He expects Billy to freeze, to pull away, to yell at him, asking him what he just said, but none of that happens. Instead, Billy gasps and comes untouched, all over Steve’s stomach. It sends Steve over the edge almost instantly. That, and the intense relief brought by Billy’s reaction.  

“Jeez, pretty boy, give a guy a warning.” Billy says, out of breath, as he slides off of Steve and lays down next to him.

“What was I supposed to do? Send you a letter?” Steve replies defensively.

It makes Billy cackle. “No, but I mean, maybe don’t make important statements while I’m riding you into next week.”

“I’ll keep that in mind… And I’m sorry for springing that on you… I know we had agreed to keep this casual… but my feelings don’t have to get in the way…” Steve starts rambling, but Billy interrupts him.

“What if I do want them to get in the way?”

“You… do?” Steve asks, rolling on his side to look at Billy.

“I do.”

Billy offers an uncharacteristically sweet smile. And it feels like a declaration.

“Good.”

Steve pecks Billy’s upturned lips.

“We should probably shower.”

Steve whines. “But I’m so tired.”

“I know, but you’re going to bitch about how gross and sticky you feel when you wake up and I don’t want to go through that, so move your ass, princess.”

Steve pouts and wonders why he’s in love with this jackass, but he still follows him to the bathroom, no matter how hard his legs scream at him to stay in bed. When Billy ends up washing Steve’s hair and massaging his back in the shower, Steve is reminded of why he feels that way for him. After all, Billy is not that bad.

*

Thanks for reading, and thank you to the mutuals who encouraged me to write this ;) 

[heartofether]

Bonus Episode #3 - Leave a Message TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

VAL

Hey there! Val here with a couple of special announcements before our third bonus episode. First off, our season two release date has been set and will soon be announced. Before then, however, we have an abundance of teasers and bonus content coming your way. Be sure to follow us on Twitter and Tumblr to keep up with all of our new releases.

Second, do you want to talk to other Heart of Ether fans, either about the show or whatever else your heart desires? We now have an official Discord server! We have automatic roles, specialized channels, daily quotes and question of the day, and in the future, we may use it to host special events. The invite link is on our socials and our Carrd, and we would love it if you joined us!

Last but certainly not least: we all like tea, right? What about podcast-themed tea? That’s right, you can now buy The Heart of Ether-themed tea with the help of Adagio Teas! (not sponsored, just using the service) A portion of the proceeds will go to The Trevor Project, which helps provide crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ youth. The link to browse our tea collection will be in the description of this episode, or on our socials if you want to look there.

Right, I’m done with my rambling. Here’s another bonus fluff episode—and this time I at least 90% mean it! Talk to you soon!

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS.]

[THE DIALOGUE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE EPISODE IS SLIGHTLY MUFFLED, AS IF THEY ARE SPEAKING OVER THE PHONE.]

ROSE

Hi! This is Rosemary Quinn. Unfortunately, I’m not able to return your call right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a lovely day!

[PHONE BEEP.]

IRENE

Hey, it’s Irene. I just wanted to check and see when you’d be coming over? Text me and let me know if you have an estimate.

Oh, and my dad is going to the store, so I know you mentioned wanting to make brownies? Did you mean, like, from scratch or is just a box mix fine? ‘Cause I’m good with whatever. Just text me what you need, and I’ll ask him to pick it up. See you later! Bye!

[PHONE BEEP.]

IRENE

Hey. It’s Irene. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you. Thanks.

[PHONE BEEP.]

ROSE

Hi, Irene! I’m sorry to call, but you said you were having some issues with your texts, so I thought this would be a safer bet. Are you available after school today? If you don’t mind, I could really use some help with the chemistry homework. You seemed to at least kind of understand it, or maybe you were just pretending like the rest of us were. [SHE GIGGLES.]

I also just am not super fond of Mr. Morrison. Nobody is. I mean, I try to be nice to him, nicer than most other students, and I think he likes me for that. It doesn’t mean he’s actually willing to be helpful, though. I think he sees me as some sort of air-headed bimbo, which is both misogynistic and presumptuous. Olivia told me he might be retiring, though, so fingers crossed?

Anyways, would we be able to meet up and work on it together? I’ll buy you a coffee for your time. Just let me know! Oh, and no need to call me back, we’ll see each other at school most likely. I just thought I’d call and ask before I forgot. I’ll talk to you later, bye!

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

IRENE

Hey, are you still at the school? I try to have school spirit—sometimes—but events really aren’t my thing. Maddy seemed to be into it, though, so I figured you might still be hanging out with her.

Anyways, if you decide you’re done with it, I was thinking about going to Sonic and it’d be great if you tagged along? It’s not the same when I go by myself. I’ll pay, obviously, since I’m the one inviting you. Call me back if you’re interested, and we can work something out. Alright, bye.

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

[THERE IS THE SOUND OF DISTANT CONVERSATION AS ROSE TALKS]

ROSE

Hi there, Maddy just wanted me to tell you that when you get here, make sure you go through the back door so you don’t disturb her grandparents. They’re not in a great mood tonight. You’ll have to hop the fence, but if you need help, I can go down there. I’m excited to see you! Bye!

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

[THERE IS A SLIGHT BREEZE HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

Hey there, I just wanted to apologize for leaving in such a rush. It was just a lot, and I didn’t really, well. I honestly didn’t feel super welcome there? That’s not your fault, though. It was everyone else.

It just—I don’t want to sound rude, but it doesn’t feel like our “group” actually cares about me a lot? I mean, maybe it’s because of my interests, or because I don’t dress or act like stereotypical straight girls do. I’ve known them all since freshman year, but honestly? You’re the only one I’ve ever really clicked with.

They like you, though. Everyone does. I don’t mean that in a snarky or jealous way. Just in the way that…well, you’re Rosemary Quinn. Everyone wants to be your friend, I guess. You just have that aura.

[A BEAT, THEN, EMBARRASSED] God, I’m sorry, that’s such a weird thing to say. I’m really not good at this whole friends thing, huh? I’m surprised you’ve stuck around for this long. I called you to apologize—now for multiple things it appears—but also to tell you that if you’re looking for me, I went to the park. It’s like a five-minute walk from Maddy’s house, and I have my board with me, so that helped.

I’m sure you’re not looking for me. You’re probably having fun at Maddy’s birthday party. You texted me to ask if I was okay, though, so I guess that’s why I called. You always do. You’re the one person who’s consistently cared, who’s always checked in on me when my social anxiety kicks in and I decide to leave early. Is that how you are with everyone, or…?

Jeez, I’m sorry, I’m rambling. Just, sorry for running off, I’m at the park sitting on the swings if you need me. Bye.

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

IRENE

[SOMEWHAT DESPERATE] Hey, it’s Irene. Please call me back. I— [SHE HUFFS.] I really think we need to talk.

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

IRENE

[DEFEATED] This is my third time trying to call you. At this point, I’m pretty certain you’re actually ignoring me.

I’m not mad, Rose. I promise I’m not. It was—it was nice! I liked it. Really liked it, actually, um. But you ran off to go home before we could really talk about it, and now it really feels like you. Well. Like you didn’t mean to, and now you regret it.

[SHE GROANS.] I’m not saying that to guilt trip you. I mean, maybe I’ve got it completely wrong. Maybe you’re scared that I didn’t like it, which isn’t true. Which would mean that we’re just walking in circles around each other, worried about what the other thinks. It would be funny if I wasn’t so worried about you.

[A BEAT, THEN] Do you wanna know the truth, Rose? I’ll tell you.

[SOFTER] Do you remember when we were building snowmen back in December, outside of the school? You made one named—god, I don’t remember. Was it Queen of the Valley? Some sort of royalty. You always come up with such extravagant names for things, it’s…

Anyways, you said what would make it perfect is if it had a crown to wear. By some absolutely absurd coincidence, I had a paper crown in my locker. I had learned to make them during study hall when I got bored. The school was still open, so I ran back inside through the empty hallways to go grab it.

When I came back outside, you grinned, your cheeks rosy and your hair still a mess from the wind that had only just died down. You took the crown from me, and you looked me in the eyes, giggling. You said, “I could kiss you right now.” Then you ran to give her majesty the crown.

And I didn’t say it. Of course I didn’t. I was too scared of that feeling I felt. I felt so warm, even with a blizzard on the horizon, and that terrified me. I wanted you to kiss me, though. I wished so badly that you had, it physically ached.

I gazed at you there, as you placed the paper crown upon the Queen’s head, Maddy rolling her eyes, but still smiling. In the moment, though, I hardly processed she was even there. I didn’t even process the groundskeeper glaring at us, or the cars driving past as teachers left for the day. As I stared at you, it was like you were the only thing I had ever known, and all I remember thinking was, “This is what will destroy me. This will be my downfall.”

[A PAUSE, THEN, HOPEFUL] But maybe it doesn’t have to be. Because you did kiss me, in the end. I’m glad you did.

Call me back, please?

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

[THERE IS BACKGROUND NOISE HEARD AS ROSE STANDS OUTSIDE OF HER HOUSE.]

ROSE

[SINKING INTO DISAPPOINTMENT] Hi, Irene! Just, um…just making sure we’re still going to the dance together. I’m outside my house waiting. My mom’s starting to get pretty upset with me for not being gone already, and just uh…standing here like an idiot. Won’t let me come back inside, though, because she thinks that if I’m not out here, you’ll—actually, I won’t try to understand her reasoning. I haven’t been able to for the past sixteen years.

But, um…please let me know? I’ll be waiting. Goodbye.

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

[IRENE IS HEARD DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET HER SHOES ON AND GET OUT THE DOOR.]

IRENE

Rose, I am so, so, so sorry I’m late. I promise, I’m on my way, I’m literally—

[HER DAD CALLS OUT, MUFFLED BY THE DOOR, AND SHE CALLS BACK]

IRENE

Yeah, I’m coming!

[THEN, AS SHE'S HEARD RACING ACROSS THE CARPET] I don’t wear makeup very often and I kept messing up my eyeliner and by the time I looked at the clock—I’m sorry. I have no idea how I’m supposed to make this up to you, but I’ll be there as fast as I can, okay?

[MUTTERING, CURSING HERSELF AS SHE PACKS HER BAG] First dance I get with you and it’s the only one I’m late to. Of course it is.

[SHE'S HEARD WALKING OUT OF HER ROOM, THE DOOR OPENING.]

IRENE

Okay, I’m going outside now. I love you. See you soon.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[THIS TAKES PLACE SECONDS AFTER THE LAST ONE.]

IRENE

[SLOWLY] So. I just told you I love you. I didn't mean to, but if you feel that way, too, then great. If not, then just pretend it was a slip of the tongue and we can spend the rest of the night pretending it never happened! Yeah. Um. Yeah. See you soon.

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

[THERE IS AMBIANCE OF THE CAFE AND PASSERBYS AS ROSE TALKS.]

ROSE

Hi, I’m outside of the cafe now! I haven’t ordered yet, so we can go in together.

[A BEAT, THEN, SOFTER] I brought something for you. Early this morning, when dawn was just barely teasing the sky, I couldn’t fall back asleep. I have no idea why I woke up in the first place. Maybe my muscles knew something I didn’t. I decided to slip out through my bedroom window, though.

If my mom noticed, she hasn’t told me yet. She knew I was going out today, but I’m sure I’ll still come home to her sitting on the couch intently, giving me that look she always does. I don’t care. She can do whatever she wants.

I got on my bike and I rode out to the park—not the one we usually go to. This one is in the opposite direction. It’s much vaster, less playset and more nature. There were flowers that had just started blooming. I picked some with the gentlest hand I could manage. I wish I had thought to bring scissors, but I hope the flowers will forgive me for my carelessness.

I thought long and hard before picking each one, making sure the colors matched just right, that the sweet scent they produced was in perfect harmony. I tied them with a ribbon I had around my wrist, and sealed it with a kiss, just for you. It took me all morning.

[A BEAT, THEN, SHE GIGGLES] Oh, wait, I think I just saw you pull in. Okay, I’ll talk to you in a second—

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

IRENE

Hey. Just wanted to make sure you got home safe. I love you. Call me back when you hear this, okay?

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

ROSE

[LAUGHING] God, I must have just missed you. Yes, I got home safe. Thank you for checking, dear. Sir Griffin the Third says hello!

[TO SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD] Hey, look, it’s Irene. Say hello!

[IRENE SHIFTS. SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD IS HEARD PURRING. HE GIVES A SMALL MEOW.]

ROSE

[GIGGLING] I’ll talk to you later, I love you!

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

IRENE

[HER VOICE CRACKING] Hey, I just saw your texts about your mom. Are you okay? Do you need me to come pick you up? You’re more than welcome to spend the night at my place. My dad said you can stay as long as you need, so don’t worry about that, okay?

I wish I could do more to help. I wish I could make her stop. Have you told your aunts about some of the stuff she’s done? They sound like good people, from what you’ve told me. I know they live far away, but still, they might be able to do something.

Right, um, just let me know if you need me to come get you. I love you. Bye.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[THERE IS RUSTLING AS ROSE LOOKS THROUGH HER BAG.]

ROSE

Hi, I’m sorry to bother you. I just wanted to check, did I lose my bracelet at your house? I can’t find it anywhere. It’s the one you gave me, and I really, really don’t want to lose it. It’s like a good charm for me. Please text me if you find it. If not, it’s okay. It might just be somewhere I haven’t checked yet. Thank you, honey. I love you. Goodbye.

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

[THERE IS THE SOUND OF HER CAR ENGINE, ALONG WITH SOFT GUITAR PLAYING OVER THE SPEAKER.]

IRENE

Hey, I’m parked outside! It’s okay if you’re not done yet, I can wait. I know you like to take your time getting ready for dances, and it definitely pays off. You’re gonna look beautiful regardless, though, so just come out when you’re ready. Love you!

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

ROSE

[TIRED] Hi. I’m sorry to call you so late. To be frank, I didn’t expect you to pick up at all, but I know you’ll hear this in the morning. I hope you’re sleeping well, by the way. I— [SHE YAWNS.] I can’t sleep. That’s not unusual, but I’ve just been thinking a lot.

Do you remember when you fell in the creek? It was late autumn, and even though I pulled you out just seconds after, your teeth were already clattering. I wanted to cry, you looked so miserable, but you acted like it was hardly a big deal.

That one coffee shop was the closest warm building, so I had to take you there. One of the baristas brought out some towels for you, and even gave you a free hot coffee. I should visit them again one day, if they still work there. Maybe bring them a thank-you gift.

Anyways, I gave you my jacket, which you almost refused because you didn’t want me to be cold, but I honestly didn’t even notice it. Once we were almost certain you weren’t going to catch frostbite, we went back to your car and drove back to your house.

On the way there, while we were at a stoplight, you looked at me and said, “I’m just happy it wasn’t you.”

I laughed and said, “Well, it feels like I was in there with you. I got chills just looking at you.”

You said, “Is that how relationships work? We feel each other’s pain?”

And I said, “What happens when one of us dies, then? Will the other die, too?”

And you said, “I hope so. I can’t imagine life without you.”

“But what if you could just live your life for me?” I said. “If one of us dies early, the other should have to live double the life to make up for it.”

You hummed, and then said something I’ll never forget: “I may continue living, but that doesn’t mean I’ll like it. Life is so wonderful when you’re in the world.”

And I should have told you, then, that whatever wonder I bring is only because of you. Every time you smile, or say something stupid, or brush your hair out of your face, there’s a bit more color in the world. I think our colors bleed together, then. You are a universe in my hands and I love you more than both of our lifetimes could ever contain.

And I didn’t have the words to describe it all until right this moment. I couldn’t afford to forget.

So, I love you. In this life and the next. Goodnight, dear.

[TWO PHONE BEEPS.]

[IRENE'S DAD IS HEARD TALKING ON THE PHONE IN ANOTHER ROOM. ON THE MIC, IRENE IS HEARD QUIETLY CRYING. THERE ARE FOOTSTEPS OUT IN THE HALL. THE DOOR OPENS.]

DETECTIVE

[DISTANT] Ms. Gray, could I please speak to you?

[A PAUSE AS IRENE SOBS.]

IRENE

[QUIET, SHAKILY] Please pick up.

[PHONE BEEP.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: “Foul smell of the things that we do to escape There is no glamour in this. No rock and roll. This is just endings. This is just grief.”

Kate Tempest in Hold Your Own, 2014.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

[narcissasdaffodil]

Thank you so much for the tag @kiki-the-creator also tagging @ravenadottir

As usual, slight ramble below, but you should know what you’re in for by now, there’s a slight running commentary appearing occasionally. I’m not sure if anyone else tagged me in one of these though!

1) Name/Nickname? - Iris. My real name isn’t half as interesting, I’ve only told a selection of people that though.

2) Gender? - Female

3) Star sign? - Pisces sun, Aquarius moon, Virgo rising.

4) Height? - 5′7

5) Time? - 8:27pm

6) Birthday? - 22nd February 2001

7) Favorite bands? - ABBA, Arctic Monkeys, Vampire Weekend, The Fray, The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, Fleetwood Mac, TOTO (my taste in music is so random, jeez)

8) Favorite solo artists? - Hailee Steinfeld, Sabrina Carpenter, Lorde, Taylor Swift, Mat Kearney, Shawn Mendes, Mitski, Paul Simon, Dodie (yup, again, I’m a mishmash, but at the same time, I struggle picking favourites and shit, so had to hunt through my Spotify.)

9) Song stuck in your head? - Currently, alternates between Sweet Child O’Mine, Lily the Pink, Bright and a lot more! I went through a phase of replaying certain songs so I’ve memorised a lot.

10) Last movie? - All The Bright Places, yet again need complete silence to watch stuff and need to be focused enough. Both criteria are rarely met.

11) Last show? - Santa Clarita Diet, yes it was the same the last time I did one of these, problem? I’m in a really sarcastic mood currently and think I’m so funny, so yeah. But short answer, attention span is very messed up, most of the time can’t focus without floating off, so most of the time can’t be bothered watching stuff, and need subtitles on all TV, can’t always pick stuff up if there’s background music/extra noise or other people. Need complete silence to watch stuff, which is so rare that I just don’t, or look up spoilers so I know what’s happening.

12) When did you create this blog? - 19th Oct 2018 (That’s probably when I started being more active, did make it before then, but lurked for quite a bit x)

13) What do you post? - LITG, positivity and whatever the heck else I want to dump into the void.

14) Last thing you googled? - Anya Taylor-Joy fansite is my most recent Google.

15) Other blogs? - N/A

16) Do you get asks? - Yep, it’s mostly @kiki-the-creator @oneflewoverthecuckoos and @hyperspacial along with a couple of others. I don’t get many anons, and asks themselves are usually pretty rare if they’re not from my core group of askers!

17) Why you chose your url? - I had a Lauren Orlando fan account on Instagram in 2017, which went through a lot of name changes. That ended up being lovely.Laurennoelle, then bubblelaureno eventually. Then made another Instagram the same year, called that ultravxlet, then changed to laurelcstillo, then needed another switch, so bubblelaureno it was! Then I just changed nearly all my accs to the same user so I could keep track. Bubble came from the trend at the time of making all users something laureno in the fandom, so I thought of bubblelaureno.

18) Following? - 3362 (Yep, it’s a ridiculous amount, I know, nope I don’t keep up with everything!)

19) Followers? - 231, which is so much more than I expected, what the heck!

20) Average hours of sleep? - Eh. That varies between 4-8/9. Depending on depressive/anxious spirals, then my sleep amount rockets up.

21) Lucky number? - 22

22) Instruments? - Nope. Can’t even play the recorder, my fingers aren’t engineered for instruments, not having straight fingers means that’s not possible. I’ve tried it, but nope.

23) What are you wearing? - Lemon T-shirt, black jumper, black jeans. I’m pretty much the princess of darkness, or that’s the aesthetic I’m going for.

24) Dream job? - Librarian, or copy editor.

25) Dream trip? - Slightly stereotypical, but New York or Paris. I’ve also always wanted to go to Canada too.

26) Nationality? - Welsh

27) Favorite song? - Oh dear. I hate picking favourites, so have a few:

Heather: Conan Gray, Washing Machine Heart: Mitski, Long Story Short: Taylor Swift.

28) Last book read? - Exciting Times, got it for Christmas.

29) Top three fictional universes you‘d like to live in? - Harry Potter will always be a major one, can’t think of others at present.

30) Tagging? - @lucas-koh @bubblybabynailpolish @charlie-in-a-beanie @venueska

[anony-mony-moose]

Let’s Stay Together - Izzy Stradlin x Reader (Part 2)

Y/N starts her new job, agrees that Izzy’s water is hot, and narrowly dodges an interrogation from Duff

warnings for swearing, mentions of drug use, and very mild Duff abuse (specifically his toe)

also on ao3 :)

------------------------------------------------

“First off, you gotta be able to clean dishes.”

“Oh don’t worry about that.” I delivered my most charming smile. “I’m a dab hand when it comes to soap and water, Angus.”

Izzy huffed quietly in amusement as he set down a chopping board, and I had to work to keep the pleasant expression on my face.

“I don’t doubt it, Y/N/N.” Angus replied jovially, eyes twinkling under his undulating brow. “Only other condition is I have to like you enough to be around you five days a week.”

I bit my lip and sighed dramatically. “Shit, well if it’s not meant to be... Where’s my coat?”

He belted out a laugh and strode further into the kitchen, slapping my back (and politely ignoring the way I jumped about a foot in the air).

“Come on, we gotta get you set up before the orders start. It’ll get real busy soon. You wouldn’t think so, on a Thursday afternoon...” He continued as he led me to the sinks at the back, marching past Izzy who shot me a wink and laughed silently at the mock-bewildered face I pulled.

There isn’t much you can explain about washing up, further than pointing to a sink and then some dishes, but Angus gave it a shot anyway, doling out helpful tips like, “This one’s the cold tap, that one’s hot. Be careful, alright? The hot water is pretty damn hot.” Eventually, mercifully, his commentary ran dry and he bustled over to dice veg with Izzy at one of the counters. A few hours passed with me scrubbing my way through various pots and pans, occasionally enjoying Angus’ happy chatter about this and that whenever service calmed down. He had something to say about just about everything, that man.

Although you wouldn’t know it from the way he spoke, Angus Walker was only in his early thirties. Smoking one too many packs a day for about ten too many years had reduced his voice to a low scratchy rumble, and it matched perfectly with the strange little rambling tales he liked to share. His funniest kitchen war stories usually centred around his time starting out in Chicago. They were also evidently his favourites to tell - he’d get properly invested, slipping into thickly accented voices for each character. The way he reminisced, you’d think he was referring to things that took place fifty years ago.

Although not especially close, we’d been familiar since I first arrived in LA. Of course, since Izzy got the job doing food prep for him at Andrea’s, we bumped into quite regularly - it was usually Angus who answered the back door, and he was very generous with Izzy’s smoke breaks whenever I came calling. Weirdly enough though, Duff had also previously worked for him at a bakery, which was conveniently only ten minutes up the road from the call centre I was temping at at the time (another job which bit the dust pretty fast). I used to pop by everyday over my lunch hour to chat with all the staff in the break room. Duff made a habit of stuffing my pockets on my way out with all the goods that didn’t survive the ovens, constantly trying to feed me up, and even back then Angus would always turn a blind eye.

All round, he was just a really nice bloke. Didn’t half harp on though, I mused, tuning in to follow the end of a lengthy discussion about the guy I’d replaced.

“Damn sight better to have you on the team, anyway.” He concluded, pottering away to rummage around for something in the walk-in. I turned and caught a knowing smirk from Izzy.

“Comin’ out for a smoke?” He asked, jerking his head towards the door.

I nodded and swivelled round to check with Angus.

“Sure honey, take all the time you need! I’ll hold down the fort over here!” He hollered in reply and I stifled a small laugh. I had a feeling he was just grateful for a new, even marginally more responsive ear to chew off as he worked - Izzy could be an absolute brick wall when he set his mind to it.

We stepped outside into a light drizzle and the man in question burst into laughter, ducking with a delighted grin as I clouted him round the back of the head.

“You are a such a fuckin’ flirt!” He wheezed, only spurred on by my unsuccessful attempts to look unamused. His shoulders shook as he plucked a crumpled pack of Marlboro’s from his back pocket, still chuckling as he passed one to me.

“Angus doesn’t mind.” I mumbled, glancing away to hide my smirk. 

He cackled again. “No, he fuckin’ doesn’t.”

Our elbows knocked together, a short fit of giggles escaped me before I could properly stamp it down. My voice trembled when I replied, “My skills really are wasted on this shit, huh?”

All it took was a glance and we both devolved into hysterics again.

You could probably forgive us for feeling a bit crazed that afternoon. Neither of us had got even a glimpse of sleep, having been kept up all night by Slash and a steady supply of pills from his various pockets; the man really did have everything stashed away in there. The day had broken and morning was well on it’s way to noon when Slash finally left to restock, Izzy and I tagging along just for something to do. I didn’t have much memory of our bleary walk around town to find a dealer, apart from a single clear image of the cold, grey sunlight dancing over Izzy’s face. A little weird, granted, but I figured that could be easily blamed on the pills.

It was a bit of a miracle that we actually to made it to Andrea’s on time. It was even more of a miracle that we weren’t just turned away in our bedraggled state. Getting a good look now we were outside, Izzy still looked objectively awful, with big red rings shadowing his eyes and a slightly twitchy quality to all his movements. An unruly part of my brain helpfully reminded me that despite this, he was still extremely attractive. Another, more unruly part suggested that, yes, I definitely still wanted to shag him like this, and hey presto, now I was imagining him pinning me against that metal door and fucking those hangover jitters out of me. Christ.

No sleep, an ever-intensifying comedown, and an incorrigible imagination – the real miracle would be surviving to the end of this shift.

*****

“Sheena is-“ The words garbled as I dunked my head back under the showerhead to rinse. “A punk rocker, no-o-o-o-ow!” My feet slipped a little, stumbling over an empty beer can which floated above the drain, and I splashed my face to wash off the soapy water, still singing cheerily. “She’s a punk, punk,” I climbed out of the tub to snatch up the towel from the floor, (“A punk rocker!”) giving myself a quick once over  (“Punk, punk-“) before hitching it up around me. (“A punk rocker-er!”) I shook my hair out enthusiastically and immediately winced as that stubborn hungover headache clattered around my skull again like an enraged bull, battering away at my temples. I could hardly wait to meet the guys and get a drink inside me, if only to get rid of the incessant pounding in my head.

I plugged on determinedly with the song, neatly bringing the chorus to an end as I left the bathroom (spoiler: she is still definitely a punk rocker). A wry grin was leering at me from the other side of the door.

“Is she now?”

I hid a smile and squeezed some more water out of my hair as I pushed past to search out some clothes.

“Yeah, weren’t you listenin’? I thought me and Joey made it pretty clear.”

A loud thunk sounded from the window. He brushed behind me to answer it, hand flitting over my bare shoulder briefly, and I swallowed as I sifted haphazardly through the accumulated rubbish on the floor for my skirt. I sighed, standing up to ask Izzy if he remembered where we’d lobbed it before, and the unkempt stranger outside jeered suddenly. How he had the energy, I had no idea. The sheen of sweat on his forehead hinted at a pretty nasty case of dopesickness – after all, that was why he’d come knocking.

“Shit, Stradlin, what else you got hidin’ in there?” My nose scrunched up in irritation, any sympathy vanishing instantly, but Izzy beat me to it.

“Fuck off.” He hissed and reached out to give him a harsh shove, and the man stumbled backwards, startled.

“Jeez, man, I was j-“ The window slammed shut in his face and he gawked through the dirty glass for a second before dashing off into the alley, probably remembering the fresh dose of smack in his hand. Izzy lingered, glowering at his retreating back. On second thoughts, maybe it was the glower that sent him running.

“Um, have you seen-“ I began as he turned and said, “I should’ve beat his fuckin’ ass for that. Sorry.”

I blinked, taken aback by the ferocity in his tone. “It’s fine, Iz.” He eyed me dubiously. “Really. I would’ve said the same thing, I mean-“ I flounced a hand across my body, adopting a terrible imitation of a Californian drawl, “Have you seen this bod?”

He snorted and produced my lost mini-skirt from somewhere in his unmade bed, offering it to me as he changed the subject abruptly.

“How was my shower?”

“Uh... Functional?” That was… An oddly pointed question. “I’m clean as a whistle now, so…” I yanked a pair of tights up over my arse and stepped into the skirt.

“Hot enough for you?”

So that was what he was getting at. I smirked drily and rolled my eyes as I clipped up my bra. “Put Nicky’s to shame.”

“Good to hear.” He handed me a dark blue shirt and watched me slip it on with a smirk to match mine. “You ready to head out?”

I glanced up, pausing my buttoning, to raise an eyebrow. “Feelin’ impatient, Izzy?”

His hands covered mine to fasten the last few buttons up to my chest, surely feeling the way my heartbeat revved up a little in anticipation. He dipped his head, just enough to lock eyes with me, that wicked smirk still firmly in place, and practically purred, “Always.”

*****

“Y/L/N!”

Duff waved me down as he left his apartment block, leaping out into the road and racing over to meet me outside Izzy’s building, barely avoiding a motorbike as it whizzed past.

“Hey, man.” His grin was infectious, bright even in the persistent spitting rain, and it managed to take some of the bite from my grumbling reply.

“You’re a bit chipper for this time in the afternoon, aren’t you?”

“You left very early last night.” No time to waste on small talk, apparently.

I started walking purposefully in the direction of the Strip, not sparing him a glance as he plodded along beside me. I didn’t have to see his face to know that there was still a teasing grin plastered all over it.

“You weren’t the only one.”

“I wasn’t?”

He raised his eyebrows, almost managing to keep a serious expression.

I bit down a giddy smile (Jesus, where was that coming from?) and dug my hands into the pockets of Izzy’s coat. “Piss off, Duff.”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

I narrowed my eyes at him pointedly, (yep, there was the grin) and stopped to help shield him from the wind as he lit a cigarette. He repeated it and passed one to me.

“Cheers.” We strode on, my hair whipping and snapping around me like a whirlwind. I huddled further into the leather, firmly ignoring the unmistakeably Izzy scent that was ingrained in the collar, and the heat it sparked inside me.

“Gee, that’s a nice jacket you’re wearing.” Duff continued gleefully, a generous helping of sarcasm injected into his voice. I sighed and shook my head in exasperation. “Now where have I seen it before?”

I shot him an amused look. “What’s up, McKagan?”

“Who, me? Ohhh, nothin’ at all, zilch. Just makin’ a couple of observations, that’s all.”

“Sure about that?”

“Totally.” He paused as I dodged a frenzied woman in a pantsuit. “So many different things to observe, don’t you think?”

I snorted. “I don’t know, Duff, but I bet you’re gonna tell me.”

“You and Izzy disappear together last night, now you’re wearin’ his clothes this morning,” I checked, a little alarmed to find that I actually was wearing his shirt again today, while Duff threw his hands up in the air. “God, what could it all mean?”

I spluttered, laughing, and ducked under the awning of the liquor store to take one last drag of smoke before heading in. Of course, he followed me.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” The change rattled in my hand as I scoured the shelf in front of me, hardly paying attention to Duff swanning around on the side of the aisle.

“I’m just sayin’,” He called, “If I didn’t know better I’d say you two were gettin’ pretty cosy.”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed another cheap bottle of rum, sidling past him to deposit everything at the checkout.

“Hey Al, how’s it goin’?” I sighed, counting out the last of my quarters on the tabletop.

“He givin’ you trouble, sweetheart?” He nodded gruffly over my head at the giant blonde softie behind me, currently inspecting the label of a bottle of red wine.

I laughed, trying to imagine what Duff might look like to an untrained eye. He could be pretty scary when he needed to, after all. “No, he’s fine.”

“What’s goin’ on?” Duff’s hands landed on my shoulders and I flinched a little despite myself.

“If you’re sure.” Al muttered under his breath, patiently divvying up my assortment of coins and dollar bills. “You got another fifty cents, honey?”

I winced. That was all the cash I had. Duff’s touch disappeared from my shoulders to delve into his jean pockets, rooting around hastily.

“Sorry man, that’s all I got. I’ll leave the-“

“No, no, don’t be silly. Owe me it, alright?”

“But hey, I have-“ I silenced Duff with a light stomp on his toe.

“Thanks mate, I really appreciate it.” I gathered up the bottles under my arm, promising to be back with the remainder soon.

“Hey, forget it Y/N. Tell you what, keep that fifty. Buy some fuckin’ breakfast next time, okay?”

I snickered and waved as we turned to leave. “Will do! See you later!”

The bell above the door jingled chirpily as we left and Duff paused to spark another couple of cigarettes for us before stepping back out into the street. I frowned as he continued back the way we’d just come. He hadn’t really just left his apartment to follow me to the shop, had he?

“Are you goin’ home?”

“Nah, I’m late for work.” He said, looking remarkably unfazed.

“Shouldn’t you be walkin’ the other way, then?”

“I’ll walk you back first.” I opened my mouth to protest but he forged ahead before I could. “Didn’t get to the bottom of my observations yet.”

I sighed and waited for him to continue, but he stayed quiet instead, even when Izzy’s building came back into sight.

“What do you want me to say?” I said finally. “I thought everybody knew already, we fuck now and then. It’s not exactly big news.”

We stopped outside the door and I puffed away the last few tokes of my cigarette as I waited for him to reply. He was smiling fondly at me, and I found it infuriating for some reason.

“And you’re sure it’s just sex?”

“Uh, yeah.” I frowned. “Is that not what I said?” 

He was still smiling and appearing quite entertained by my confusion, and I shook him off, wrinkling my nose, when he reached down to ruffle my hair. 

“You know, you’re a real dumbass, Y/N/N.”

I scowled. “Yes, thanks, I did know that.”

He rocked back on his heels to fix me with a calculating stare.

“What does Izzy think?” He said carefully. Huh? 

“What the fuck d’you mean, what does-”

“Shit!” Duff blurted, eyes widening comically. “I gotta get to work!” He turned on his heel and started sprinting back into town, shouldering through the midday stragglers and throwing out frantic apologies as he barged past people. In the space of about ten seconds, he was gone, flying out of view round the corner with a final shout of “Come see me when you get your head outta your ass!”

I stood there, dumbfounded. What the hell did he mean by that?

Curiously enough, he wasn’t the only one who’d suggested… Well, whatever it was he’d been trying to suggest. Axl had pulled me aside when we were out the night before last, bellowing in my ear that he was happy for me and Iz, of all things. If that wasn’t unsettling enough, him and Slash had taken to calling Izzy’s apartment ‘the love nest’ since I’d started hanging around there constantly, bedding down with Izzy every single night this week - as if I needed a reminder. I spent more time there than I did anywhere else at the moment, and it was getting a bit ridiculous. I’d been offered a roof to crash under for one night, and here I was, a week later, making myself a permanent fixture. He hadn’t mentioned it yet though, which seemed kind of unusual for someone normally so blunt.

I was still lost in thought as I twisted the cap off one of the bottles and gulped down a bolstering mouthful of whisky, trudging into the hallway to rap on Izzy’s door. The whole thing was very weird, I decided, screwing the cap back on. Very weird, indeed. And here I was, returning again. Bloody hell, what a disaster.

But then the door swung open, and I was greeted with a greedy kiss, emitting a pleased (if a little surprised) moan. Izzy was just as gloriously naked as I’d left him, with keen hands pulling me inside and pushing me up against the back of the door to kiss the breath out of me, already stripping me of his jacket and depositing it in a heap on the floor next to the booze.

“You were gone a long time.” He gasped, somehow still managing an air of nonchalance, even as he tore my (his) shirt up over my head. I wriggled out of it and launched myself back into his embrace, pressing up for another filthy kiss. His hands carded through my damp hair, and he broke away panting, confused. “It’s rainin’?”

I huffed, laughing a little, and dragged him with me towards the bed. “You wanna talk about the weather right now?”

His mouth stretched out to form a grin, and crashed back into mine - and all thoughts of Duff and his oddly foreboding questions swiftly evaporated.

[staticscreenwriting]

All you have to be is here - Part 11

Synopsis: Billy has fucked up and has to do 60 days of community service at a home for troubled kids and youth. Working with the kids there makes him learn a lot about himself. Also there’s a girl there his age who has a phenomenal smile and who is way too nice to him.

I guess I should mention there’s a lot of angst in this. Talk of substance abuse later on, physical abuse, emotional abuse. All that kind of gnarly real life stuff. It deals with kids and teens struggling with a a shitty family life so be aware of that.

Part 11 of ?

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 //

Please help a girl out by reblogging. Thank you ♥

Attention ! If you wanna be tagged pls send me a message or an ask it’s easier and faster for me than going through the tags of each part every time. Thank you :)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

I never really ever felt so adored before Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable Don’t have to hide, don’t have to fear All you have to be is here Never really ever felt so adored before And I said I wanna feel like this forever Even if forever’s just for now We’re on fire, let us burn As the outside world, it turns We are here and alive In our corner of time Forevermore

“ I’m excited”  Billy admits, as his eyes wander around the room trying to focus on anything but the words that have just left his mouth. It’s a weird situation, talking about his feelings to someone who’s basically a stranger. It starts to feel good though, right.

“ I don’t think I’ve been this excited in a long time. It’s uh — it feels good. “ 

Dr. K moves his glasses up his nose and looks at Billy in a way that feels familiar, comfortable. Sure, Billy is well aware that Dr. K gets paid to listen to him, but yet it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like he actually cares and that makes one hell of a difference.

“ Yeah ? That’s good. Why do you think that is ? What makes you so excited about this ? “ 

He’s been asking himself this question ever since he first caught himself smiling at the thought of going back to California. Honestly, there’s no one answer to this. No answer that would put it all into words properly. 

“ Honestly ? “ 

“ Please. “ 

“ I don’t know. I mean, it’s home and I’m excited to go back. I have happy memories there, you know ? That’s a place I used to be happy. The idea of taking (Y/N) there makes me excited. It’s like bringing the two things together that mean something to me. “

Again, doctor K smiles. It’s one of those warm, understanding smiles that let you know your rambling makes sense even when it doesn’t feel like it. 

“ What about your mom ? “ Dr. K asks, “ have you decided whether or not you want to go see her ? “ 

“ I mean, that’s the best case scenario. I want to I just — it scares me. “ 

“ What about it scares you ? “ 

Billy bites his lip in uncertainty “ Look, from the moment she left I’ve been wondering why. Coming up with reasons and scenarios and what-ifs. Why did she leave ? What will happen if we ever meet again ? I came up with so many different ideas of how that could go. I’m scared it’s gonna be the bad scenarios that will end up coming true. Like, at this point I can still make myself believe in whatever I want to. Once I go see her and know the truth, I’ll have to live with it. Whether I like the outcome or not. “ 

“ Closure is good, Billy. I know it can be scary and that it might hurt to face an uncomfortable truth. But closure is good. It helps us leave behind the past and move onto a future free from the weight of it all. I think what you’re doing is the right thing. “ 

It feels good to hear those words, to have someone validate his choices. Someone who cares. Someone whose opinion Billy cares about. 

“ You think ? “ 

Dr. K nods. “ Listen, Billy. I know you still have a hard time opening up to me and that’s completely fine. I just want you to know that I see the effort you put into making a positive change for yourself. I am proud of you, Billy. While you’re away, I want you to remember this and if there’s ever a situation that you feel overwhelms you. When you just need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to contact me. “ 

“ You sure they’re paying you enough for that ? “ Billy jokes, but really it’s just a way to not let on how much those words affect him. “ Call me if you need me” is not something he’s heard often in his life.

“ Contrary to what you believe I didn’t choose this career for the financial aspects of it. I care about everyone who comes to me for help. I think asking for help and accepting it, takes a great deal of bravery. Just call me if you need help, okay ? “ 

Billy nodds “ yeah, okay. “ and then adds a very quiet “thanks. “

Dr. K is right, accepting help is terrifying and takes a great deal of effort from Billy. But maybe, Billy thinks, maybe sometimes it’s worth it in the end.

                          It’s rainy and gloomy and gray as Billy steps out of the door of the therapist's office and into the chilly Hawkins’ air. 

God, Billy can not wait to get away from here. To get back into the warmth and feel the California sun burning on his skin. There’s nothing quite like it. Hawkins’ summers can’t compare. They don’t even come close to it. 

California sun comes with a warmth that seeps right into your bones, your veins, your heart. It gives you a warmth like nothing else does. And maybe, Billy thinks, maybe his memories of the sun are tainted by childhood nostalgia and images of a part where happy moments came plenty. But whatever it is, he doesn't really care. California sun is magical and he can’t wait to share it with his own personal ray of sunshine. 

When his eyes fall onto the figure leaning against the Camaro, her bright pink uniform shining through the gray like a beacon of light and hope and joy, Billy thinks it’s like god or whatever higher power people chose to believe in, has heard his thoughts just then. 

(Y/N) looks gorgeous, hair messy and apron hanging slightly lopsided around her waist. Billy’s very own denim jacket wrapped around her shoulders like a shield from the slowly approaching winds of an ever looming fall. 

She’s here and, like every time he catches sight if her, his heart does a little jump. He hopes this feeling never goes away. That she will always be able to make his heart beat faster and his fingertips tingle, just by being there. He hopes he makes her feel this way too. Forever.

Jeez, we’re thinking about forever now, huh ? 

It’s scary. So scary.

But oh so exciting.

She’s here but she’s not supposed to be. Not yet. She’s supposed to be at work. Billy’s supposed to pick her up. He’s supposed to come by a bit early and eat a piece of that delicious cherry pie they sell at the diner. Her cherry pie. Despite being a horrible cook, she’s actually quite the decent baker. Her pies are phenomenal.

As he gets closer he can make out the red hue around her eyes, the wet stains on her cheeks, can hear the sniffles.

“ Hey you. “ she says and manages to conjure up a tiny smile. It’s not reaching her eyes, not even close. Billy can tell it takes effort. He never wants her to have to put effort into her smiles. They should come naturally. He wants to put them on her face every single moment he possibly can. 

“ Hey. What’s up with you ? “ 

“ Nothing. “ 

“ Yeah okay, try again. I can see you’ve been crying. “ 

For a moment she just looks at Billy with her big, sad eyes. He’s never really cared about another person’s emotions. Except for maybe his mom’s but that was a long time ago. Seeing (Y/N) sad, hurting, it makes his heart construct in painful ways right inside his chest. 

If only he could take it all from her and put it on himself, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

“ Can we just drive around for a bit. I need to calm down before I tell you. “ 

“ Sure.” Billy agrees then reaches out to hold her in place as she turns to get into the car “ Hey. Sad girl. Whatever it is, It’ll be alright. I’ll fix it. “ he says then places a soft, gentle kiss on her lips then another on her forehead.

And he means it. He’ll fix this, whatever it is. She’s help him fix so many things about himself without ever giving him the feeling that there was anything to be fixed in the first place. She never makes him feel broken and yet she puts him back together. If he can do even half as much for her he’s good with that. 

Driving around with nowhere to go feels weirdly liberating. Nothing matters then but them and the road and the music softly playing from the car radio. It’s as if for a moment all fears and problems melt away.

Of course life doesn’t stop then but it feels like it. It feels like it all slows down and gives you time to breathe. Time to sort your thoughts. Time to calm down and let life consume you with it’s open roads and beautiful songs and the touch of your lover’s hand on yours.

“ So — “ Billy starts, eyes still fixated on the road. There’s something about car rides that make it easier to have meaningful conversations. He hopes she’s comfortable enough to talk to him now. He wants to give her all the time she needs but it’s hard to sit here and know she’s hurting and not being able to help.

“ I uh — I got fired. “ 

“ Wait, what ? “ 

(Y/N) nods and bites her lower lip in anxiety “ yup. That’s why I was able to come meet you at the doctor’s office. “ 

“ Why the fuck would they fire you ? “ 

It makes no sense in Billy’s mind, why they would ever fire her. She’s dedicated and sweet and way too kind to more of the assholes coming by the diner.

“ Well, apparently asking for a day off on your birthday is reason enough to kick someone out. “ 

“ That’s bullshit “ 

“ Mmmh. The diner also belongs to Keith’s parents so — “ 

“ Ah fuck those guys. The Kinsellas are a bunch of assholes. You want me to go punch him in the face ? Because I will, dude’s been begging for it. “ 

(Y/N) places a hand gently on his. Her touch is warm and familiar and comfortable and it’s ridiculous to Billy how she’s the one comforting him. That’s his job right now. 

“ Nope, I don’t want you to do that because you’re already on thin ice with authorities and I can’t have them lock you up. Not before our trip. “

It’s nice to hear her laugh, even if it’s a joke at his expense. If it only makes her laugh she can make fun of him all she wants. 24-7.

“ It just sucks, you know ?! I need to pay rent. I mean I still have some savings that’ll keep me afloat for the next month and pretty sure it’s also enough for our California trip. But after than I’m broke. I need to find a new job asap. Otherwise they’ll make me move back into my grandparents’ place and I’m really not feeling that. I love ‘em but — I just don’t want that. “ 

“ I can throw in some cash. I mean I basically live with you most of the time anyway so — “ 

“ No. Absolutely not. I don’t want you to do that. “ 

The tone in her voice leaves no room to disagree. She means those words down to every letter and syllable. There’s no arguing here because the way her eyes look at him let him know he’s gonna lose anyway.

“ Okay. Okay fine. I’m gonna find a way to fix it though. I promise. “

“ You do that, pretty boy. You always do. “

She says it with a hopeful spark in her words. Like it’s not just something she’s saying to make him drop the topic. She really believes it.

She really believes in him.

“ Hey, how about a little detour ? “ 

“ What are you thinking ? “ (Y/N) asks, eyebrow raised in confusion.

“ Ah you’ll see. We’ll have to stop by a 7/11 on our way though. “

“ The way you’re saying this makes me think we shouldn’t be doing this. “ 

“ Oh babe, you have no idea. “ 

                          “ I can’t believe you’re making me do this “ (Y/N) says, a laugh lacing her words. It’s almost hidden but Billy can just about make it out.

They’re leaning against his camaro, a carton of eggs resting on the roof of the car. Night slowly creeps up on the two as the stand facing the pristine white house of one Jenna Richardson. 

There’s a shiny black porsche parked at the side of the road in front of her driveway. Too shiny. That’s gonna change.

“ I’m not making you do anything, “ Billy starts then takes an egg and places it in (Y/N)’s hand. “ but he deserves this. For cheating on you, for treating you like shit at that party. For making his parents fire you because his ego was cracked. Egg his car, babe. It’s gonna feel so good. “ 

She moves the egg around in her hand for a moment, contemplating her next moves. If there’s something Billy knows for sure, it’s that sometimes you need to break things, or at least mess them up a little, to calm your anger and frustrations.

(Y/N) glances up at him, before a smirk spreads on her lips. “ You really think I should do this ? “

“ Babe. Keith’s in there probably giving unsatisfactory head to a girl he cheated on you with just a few hours after his parents fired you. If anyone deserves to get their car egged it’s him. “ 

“ As if Keith goes down on a girl. “ 

“ No ? “ 

“ No. Told you, you were the first. But damn right he deserves those eggs “ and with that she throws the first one, watching it shatter against the car with a satisfying smash. The yolk and egg white drip down the side and it’s quite disgusting. (Y/N) loves it.

“ This feels good. “ 

“ Right ? I told you. “ 

They proceed to throw more eggs and in the matter of minutes the whole car is covered. Just how Billy has envisioned it. Just how Keith deserves. 

“ Hey, Billy. Guess what we are now ? “ (Y/N) asks between her laughs.

“ What are we ? “ 

“ Partners in crime “ 

Her joke isn’t half as funny as she makes it out to be but he’ll keep that to himself. Hearing her laugh is worth listening to all the horrible jokes.

“ Alright, little criminal. Let me take you home. You need to pack. “ 

“ That’s right. Pack for California. “ 

God, he can’t wait to take his girl to experience a California sunrise. 

                          Billy genuinely considers throwing himself out the dining room window that evening as they all sit down for dinner. It’s Susan’s birthday and Susan’s birthday is always an awkward affair. 

(Y/N) is at her place, packing her suitcase and probably singing along to the radio. What Billy wouldn’t give to be there with her right now.

Instead he’s sitting by the dining room table, dry meatloaf on his plate. While Neil pretends to be so deeply in love with this woman, showering her in compliments and gifts. Billy wants to throw up at the sheer hypocrisy of it all. As if they hadn’t spent the whole of yesterday yelling at each other.

Moments like these are what Billy hates the most. They’re so goddamn fake and it makes no sense. All the people sitting around the dinner table know the truth. They’re living it every single day. Where’s the need to pretend ? They all share the burden of knowing the truth. Knowing that gifts and compliments aren’t a usual part of the Hargrove-Mayfield household.

Max sends him a look over the edge of her mug. There’s no words needed. It’s a silent understanding. A quiet reassurance that she too is pissed off at this situation. He almost smiles at that. Almost.

Billy lets the conversation move along, only listening with one ear. He’s no active part of this family and there’s no reasons to get involved in any dialogue here. He does listen though, he always does.

Listening is mandatory in a household where everything that you don’t hear can be used against you in painful ways. So you listen and you absorb and at night you try to filter out the important information and hope for the best.

His ears only perk up when Susan places a small cheesecake on the table and starts talking about the specific bakery she’s got it from. It belongs to one of her friends and it’s new in town. An inheritance of sorts. 

“ Can you believe she did this all on her own ? “ Susan asks a very uninterested Neil “ she really needs to hire some more employees. “ 

Neil sends her a fake smile her way, nods, then goes back to his food and his newspapers. It’s a rinse and repeat kind of ordeal. He doesn’t give a shit about anything Susan says. Sometimes Billy wonders why the two of them got married in the first place. There’s never really been any love and all the empty compliments and gifts that he shoves at her this one day in a year surely can’t be enough to make up for how he treats her the rest of the year.

No, Neil doesn’t care. Billy does though. Not because he particularly gives a shit about what Susan has to say. But this one specific information could be just the thing he needs to fix things for (Y/N). 

So he waits. Max is the first to finish dinner and leave the table, she throws him a confused glance as she passes him. Usually Billy gulps down his food and leaves as soon as he possibly can. Every moment spent with this fake image of what a family is supposed to be, sickens him. Today he’s got ulterior motives though. Motives so important he even asks for another serving of dry meatloaf in order to gain some time.

It’s 20 minutes later that Neil finally drops his fork onto the plate with a loud clunk and moves from the dining room towards the living room in big thundering steps. There’s a certain aura about his dad, Billy thinks, it’s been there ever since he can remember. He’s not excessively tall or burly but there’s something about him that demands respect. He’s mean and he doesn’t leave any doubts about it. 

Billy’s always felt this way about his dad. He knows that isn’t how it should be but it is and he’s come to terms with it a while ago.

“ Hey, Susan ? “ Billy asks as she hurries around the kitchen collecting the dishes. It’s then Billy realizes that Neil never puts his plates in the sink. Never. And, until recently, Billy didn’t either. Living with (Y/N) has changed him. It’s little things she expects from him that seep into his everyday life. He cleans up his messes. People should just clean up their own fucking messes.

“ I uh — yes, Billy ? “ 

Susan regards him with this look in her eyes that makes a jolt surge through his system right to his bones. It shivers him because he’s seen it so many times only it’s usually when she looks at Neil. It’s laced with fear. The fear of doing something wrong. Of messing up. Of having to face the consequences.

Susan is scared of him and he hates this. Sure he’s been mean to her before and obviously she’s not his favorite person. That doesn’t mean he wants her to fear him. He’s not his father and he never ever wants anyone to mistake him for being even slightly similar to Neil. Especially not someone who has to suffer under the aforementioned.

“ Um, well. Earlier when you talked about your friend at the bakery looking for people to hire, did you mean that or was it just a — “ 

“ You listened ! “ It’s not accusatory but it’s something. Surprise mostly. Shock. Gratitude.

“ Uh yeah. “

I always listen. He wants to say. He doesn’t though. That only asks for unnecessary conversation he doesn't want to have. Not with Susan at least.

“ Well, yes. She’s looking for help. Why ? Did you get fired ? “ 

He wants to be angry, his entire system tells him to be. Of course that’s where her thoughts go immediately. Billy fucked up again. Billy’s got fired. 

He wants to be angry but really, he’s so used to it by now. He just takes it and moves on. What the hell does Susan know anyway.

“ No. My friend (Y/N) did. She’s been working at a diner for quite a long time but it belongs to her ex boyfriends parents and he’s an asshole and so are his parents so they kicked her out and I — I kinda feel like it’s because they don’t like the fact that she’s my — friend. So I feel responsible and I was thinking since your friend needs someone and (Y/N) needs a job maybe you could, I don’t know, put in a good word. She’s sweet and dedicated and she makes great pies. “ 

Susan says nothing for a while, just looks at him as if trying to find something in his face, his eyes. She seems to find it eventually because a smile pulls at the corner of her lips. It would seem almost motherly if it didn’t come from Susan.

“ Of course I can do that. Of course. (Y/N), she’s the girl you’re going to California with. Right ? “ 

It should come as no surprise to Billy, the fact that Susan listens too. In the same way he does. Susan too is caught in a house where everything and anything can be used against you. Where listening is essential to your survival. 

“ Yeah, she is. She’s uh — she’s my girlfriend. “ 

“ That’s wonderful. Look, Billy. I know that your dad isn’t convinced about you going to see your mom but I think it’s a good idea. I think it’s something you should be doing for yourself. “ 

It’s nice. The sentiment. In fact, it’s good to know someone in this house is on his side in this debate. The fact is though, that Susan would never repeat those words in Neil’s presence. Never. She’s got the backbone of a jellyfish.

“ Thanks, Susan. “ 

“ I’ll talk to Colette first thing in the morning. If (Y/N) is as sweet and dedicated as you say, I don’t think there’s any reason not to hire her. “ 

That’s all he wants really. He can just imagine his girl in a cute little apron, making pies and serving coffee. Can imagine cuddling into her after they’re both home from work and burying his face into her hair that smells like freshly baked bread and warmth.

It’s a stupid little fantasy but it’s so dometic and homely and it’s all he wants, really. 

“ I appreciate it. “ 

He really does. Susan has no reason to help him, to help (Y/N). She does anyway. And if it is because she actually cares or because it’s a way for her to try and easy her guilty conscience, it doesn’t matter in this moment. 

Billy takes a can of beer from the fridge and is about to move towards his room, when Susan speaks up again.

“ Billy. I’m glad you came to me about this. I — I want us to be able to talk about stuff. I want to to confide in me. To trust me. We’re family. “ 

He doesn’t trust her. He will never fully trust her. Not even if she’s part of his family. Family don’t mean shit in this household anyway, does it ?! Billy will never truly trust this woman, no matter how nice she’s being right now. This is the same woman that stands by and watches when Neil unleashes his wrath on Billy. The same woman putting up with it every day. The same woman who knowingly and willingly brought her own daughter into this environment. 

He doesn’t say any of this though, just nods and moves on. He thinks she knows it anyway.

                          Through the windows of the bakery, a golden glow shines  out into the dark Hawins’ evening. There’s a window decal telling people that this is Colette’s bakery and it’s selling homemade baked goods. 

Billy catches a glimpse of (Y/N) standing behind the counter, slightly swaying to the music that is undoubtedly playing in the background. There’s a smile on her face. One of those rare, unbothered smiles that come when she’s effortlessly happy. He’s glad to see her smile again. Glad to know her first day here is going well.

As he enters the shop, the smell of pies and cakes and warm croissants hit him. It smells homely and comfortable and he can’t wait to try a piece of cherry pie. 

“ Hey baby. Come sit down, I’m about to close the shop for tonight. Let me give you a piece of pie real quick. “ 

She serves him with a smile, wipes the counters with a smile. It’s like it’s permanently etched there. Billy almost forgets to eat, he’s that transfixed by her. Just her. (Y/N) being her normal happy self. 

Other people’s happiness is not something Billy cared about before he met (Y/N). But the world has shifted in weird un inexplicable ways. Maybe sometimes it just takes the right person to make a change in you. To make you want to change.

“ Hey, pretty boy ? “ (Y/N) approaches him after locking the front door, and softly takes his face in between her hands.

“ Hmm ? “ 

“ Thank you. For finding me this job. I have so much fun here. I genuinely love it. “ 

“ I’m glad you do. “ 

“ No, Billy. I don’t think you are aware just how thankful I am. If I didn’t get this job, the California trip really would’ve been on thin ice for me. I wasn’t sure I could actually afford to go. Now I definitely can. I am so excited. I can not wait. I can’t wait to see you happy. “ 

He doesn’t say the words out loud, mainly because it’s hard for him to admit it even to himself. But in order to be happy, Billy doesn’t need California anymore. All he needs is her.

That night he stays at her place and he cuddles into her on the couch and buries his face in her hair. She smells like freshly baked bread and warmth. And for the first time in his entire life, Billy thinks that if his forever looks like this very moment, he’s one happy guy.

                          taglist:

@babygal-babygal / @anxiousamandapanda / @imjusthereforsupernatural / @chhhcherybomb / @tomarisela / @noodlenerd101 / @xxcxrolinexx / @bippity-boppity-boopa / @mcrmarvelloki / @silver-winter-wolf / @thecrowclubsmanager / @theroyalbrownbarbie / @salemlysi / @asheseiler / @stra-vage/ @ssstutteringbbbill / @biliyonce / @addictofsupernatural / @angelophany / @charmed-asylum / @xxemoluverxx / @killer-queen-xo / @1lluminaticonfirmed / @rebel-broken-angel / @ayybtch / @dean-jace-doctor / @sarai-ibn-la-ahad / @amesishappy

[team-iron-wannabe-man]

Rambling

Title: Rambling

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2504

Summary: With Bucky trying to lay low, Steve sets him up to hide out at your house.

Warnings: Smidge of angst, but a whole lot of Fluff!

A/N: Another Bucky fic! I’ve already have so many WIPs that I’m having a hard time finishing one, because another idea always seems to pop up! But I’ve finally manage to get one done! I really hope you like it! Feedback would be appreciated, and please reblog and signal boost! This is a new side blog, so I’m still trying to get the word around :) I’d appreciate it! Also, I want to dedicate this to @pinknerdpanda because she’s the first and the only one who asked to be tagged in my Bucky fics, and that made me happy. Thanks Manda!!

Disclaimer: Gif Not Mine.

Bucky was at his wits end. You were relentless and pushing him closer and closer to the edge. Why couldn’t you just leave him alone? All he wanted was to be alone, but no. Everywhere he went, everywhere he turned, there you were. And when he thought he could finally have some peace and quiet, you came skipping through with something to talk about. You were suffocating. He’d have to remind himself later to kill Steve for making him hideout at your place, which by the way too bright. White walls, large windows, and plants everywhere!

“Hey Bucky, you hungry? I’m thinking Mac and Cheese tonight. Have you ever had it? It’s really good. I make mines from scratch. Unless you want something else for dinner. I’m a pretty good cook, if I do say so myself…”

Bucky’s head was beginning to pound against his temple. There you go again, rambling on and on about nothing. Your multi-talents include: Able to talk for hours, holding your breath to do said talking, being annoying, giving him migraines, testing his patience, being insufferable, did he mention talking? If he already did, then he wants to emphasize that fact once more.

“What do you think? I could add bacon to it. Did you have bacon back in yours and Steve’s time? It’s so delicious. Maybe I can make bacon tomorrow for breakfast—”

“Jeez, do you ever shut up?!” Bucky finally snapped. “Your voice alone gives me migraines. Would you just shut your trap for five minutes?! I barely even have enough time to think!”

You were a little taken aback. Now that he mentions it, you have been rambling on and on quite a bit, but that was because you were nervous around him. He’s just so handsome and mysterious, and you didn’t really do well when it came to men. When you were set up on a blind date with Steve, thanks to Sam, he had been really sweet to you despite your nervous tendencies, and was able to go about it in a really sensitive manner. The only difference between then and right now, being here with the Winter Soldier, was that you weren’t attracted to Steve. Not then, not now, and not in between.

“S-Sorry,” you stuttered, not wanting to say more in case you made him even more angry.

When you turned and disappeared into the kitchen, Bucky felt an air of relief. You didn’t say anything more, and you didn’t pop up later. It had gotten late when his stomach began to growl. He was sure that you were cooking, the smell had his mouth watering, but did it really take that long to make Mac and Cheese?

He entered the kitchen to see a ceramic pot with a glass covering, but no signs of you. Shrugging, he opened the pot and was blasted with the thick savory aroma of cheesy goodness. His stomach growled louder, making him groan in discomfort. Next to the dish was a plate with a note on it.

“Eat as much as you want. I promise to give you more space and to not talk so much. Enjoy the meal and the rest of your night. I’m sorry.  – Y/N”

Bucky smirked, pleased with the promise of a little bit of peace and quiet. That’s all he ever really wanted.

Scooping up generous amounts of the cheesy pasta, he practically inhaled it, that’s how good it was. Now he only wished you were around so he could thank you in person and praise to you how delicious it was. He knew you’d appreciate the compliments. Steve did mention that you loved when people ate your food.

The next morning, Bucky made his way down to the kitchen where he’d usually find you preparing breakfast however, this time you were no where to be seen. The cute Iron Man apron was still hanging on it’s hook, the kitchen seemed to be spotless, but on the center of the table sat a plate of bacon, eggs with a sprinkle of melted cheese and scallions, toast, and a pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice, most likely from the orange tree in your yard. He frowned. Everyday since he’s been with you, you had always joined him for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but then again, he couldn’t complain. He wanted silence, and he wanted space. You were simply respecting his request.

Throughout the day, he’s only caught glimpses of you. It almost felt like you were trying to avoid him, but he shrugged the idea off. You weren’t that kind of person. Steve had said that you were really friendly, inclusive, a little quirky, and that you loved having guests to entertain, all of which were true for the first two weeks up until now, but Bucky figured it was just to give him some space.

It was almost lunch time. Bucky was standing in the kitchen, looking out the window to see you hanging the linen on the line to air dry. It was a particularly windy day, and he couldn’t help the amused smile on his lips when he saw you slightly struggling to hang the sheets. Your hair kept getting in your face, and the gusts must have been strong considering you had almost fallen over a few times. Yeah, you were a little quirky.

By the time you hung the last pillow case, the basket went flying away, and you took off after it. He could hear you yelling through the glass, and this time he couldn’t help but laugh out loud to himself. Watching you was like watching the old sitcoms he used to binge late at night back in his time. Some comic relief from a long day’s work.

After catching your basket, you came stumbling into the kitchen, hair a mess, cheeks flush from your little chase, and panting breathlessly. Your eyes met his but was quickly averted. “I’ll start lunch,” you stated before vanishing into the other room.

Bucky sat at the dining table, eyes boring onto your back as you whipped up something quick, your Iron Man apron draped over you. He noticed the left over bacon beside you, some lettuce, tomatoes, mayo, and bread, all spread out through the kitchen counter. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know you were making a sandwich.

Feeling a little bored, he stood from the chair, the legs screeching against the floorboard as he made his way next to you. “Need some help?” He asked, but you didn’t reply, at least not with words. You shook your head. “Are you sure? I don’t mind.” You shook your head again, and this time Bucky couldn’t help but frown, his lower lip jutting out. “Alright, just let me know if you do,” he stated before heading back to the table, reclaiming the chair he was previously sitting on. Once you were done, you set his plated sandwich in front of him, along with a handful of chips next to it. “Where’s yours?” He asked, noticing you’d only made one.

“I’m not that hungry,” you muttered, before gallivanting off.

The rest of the day, he hadn’t seen you or heard from you, but he could definitely hear the sound of the television in your room whenever he’d pass it. He was starting to think you were purposefully trying to avoid him.

Dinner time came around again, and there you were, mixing something that smelled delicious, in a pot over the gas stove. You were humming a tune he didn’t recognize, but the evenness of your tone was quite appeasing. Almost like a mom singing their child to sleep. A random thought popped into his head: You’d make a great mother. His cheeks went red at the contemplation, not knowing why exactly his mind had brought him there.

“It smells amazing,” Bucky complimented. You jumped, letting out a squeak. You whipped around, eyes wide and hand over your thrumming heart as you looked at him. Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s fine,” was all you said before returning to your task.

Two words. That all you said. Two words was unsettling. Bucky hated to admit it, but he missed having you around all the time. He missed your stories. He didn’t want you to avoid him, he just wanted you to tone it down a bit.

Bucky took a seat at the dining table, a hand tucked under his chin as he watched your back, getting lost in his own thoughts.

“Jeez, do you ever shut up?”

“Your voice alone gives me migraines.”

“Would you just shut your trap for five minutes?!”

“I barely even have enough time to think!”

Bucky flinched as the words he’d said last night resurfaced. At the time he didn’t even realize how harsh his words were. Now it all made sense – the way that you were acting… he was such a jerk to you. The right thing to do would be to apologize, but he had no clue how to start. What would he say? What could he do to make it up to you? How, how, how? Eventually, Bucky was swept away by his thoughts again.

“Bucky? Bucky? Hello? Anybody home?” you were calling him, his eyes seemed to look passed you. Checking over your shoulder, there was nothing there that you thought could hold his attention for so long, unless he enjoyed staring at blank walls… or… unless… he could see something that you couldn’t. Suddenly overwhelmed with paranoia, you shrieked, jumping behind him, but that brought him out of his trance.

Jumping out of his seat, Bucky stood in alertness, instinctively pushing you behind him. “What is it? What’s wrong?” He asked frantically.

“I-I don’t know. Did you see a ghost or something?” Your question baffled him as he looked back at you over his shoulder.

“A-a ghost?” He questioned, more than a little confused.

“Yeah. Can you see ghosts or something? I’ve been trying to get your attention but you kept staring at the wall, and so… I—umm…” Your face started to glow red as you began to listen to yourself talk. You sounded ridiculous. “I thought you could see ghosts and it kind of got paranoid…” you admitted sheepishly.

Bucky’s demeanor loosened, as his body relaxed. He looked down at you incredulously. It wasn’t until you looked up at him under your lashes, looking all innocent and embarrassed, that he could no longer contain himself. He started to laugh – hard. His whole body shooting back in a blundering chortle.

“Y-you thought – you thought I could s-see gh—ghosts!” he managed to say, cracking up. Your face turning crimson.

“I—I don’t know!” You shot back, thoroughly humiliated. “Stop laughing at me!” You demanded, punching him on the shoulder of his flesh arm.

Bucky looked down at you again, having felt the tap on his shoulder and noting the fist you were sporting. “D-did you just punch me?” He began to laugh louder because the impact didn’t hurt at all. “You’re so weak,” he spat, no longer having the strength to stand, plopping himself on the chair.

As much as you wanted to be mad at him, seeing him unraveling before you was more than amusing. It made your heart flutter and made your insides all warm. It was nice. Bucky was laughing so hard, and the whole exchange was so silly that you couldn’t help yourself in joining Bucky in his conniption.

By the time the laughter died down, you stomach, sides, and back hurt. It had been a while since you’ve laughed to hard, and you were sure it had been much longer for Bucky.

You noticed him staring at you with a smile, making you nervous… “What are you smiling at? Stop being so weird. I don’t like it when people stare, it makes me all nervous, and when I’m nervous, I talk too much. Ugh. I’m doing it right now, aren’t I? Oh god, please tell me to stop! Am I giving you a migraine? I am so sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this or why it happens… God, if you think about it, I’d be a terrible liar, and because of that, I’d make a bad Avenger, wouldn’t I?”

Once again, Bucky summersaults into another fit of giggles.

“Y/N, shut it would ya?” he wheezed, instantly shutting you up. Your confession was like an epiphany.

All the talking, all the smothering, it was just you being nervous. Now that he thinks about it, he’s sure that Steve had mentioned it, but he isn’t too sure. He zoned out during parts of Steve’s briefing.

“Sorry, it’s a thing I do. When I get nervous I–” she paused as Bucky pulled her closer by the hips, now standing between his legs. “I—uh—”

“Tongue tied?” He teased, smirking up at you.

“W-what? No. I never. You obviously don’t know who I am. I never get tongue tied. It’s the opposite really—” Another pause as Bucky pulls you onto his lap, your legs on either side of his hips… you gulp.

“What were you trying to say?” Bucky questioned, a tone of amusement and lighthearted torment in his gravely voice.

“I—I… what were we talking about again?” You breathed, eyes scanning over his face. He was so close, even more handsome with the new proximity. God, are you even breathing? Y/N, breathe! You gasped, catching your breath, causing Bucky to chuckle.

“Tongue tied, much? Or should I say, I’ve taken your breath away?” Bucky felt the lightest he’s ever been since running from Hydra and the other Avengers. He almost felt like he was himself again, the person he used to be way back when.

“Don’t be ridiculous! What are you even talking about? I’m breathing just fine, and like I said, I don’t get tongue tied. I never did and I never will. You’re just making up all sorts of assumptions—”

“You’re rambling again,” he grins smugly.

“Mr. Sergeant Barnes, if you don’t—” he chuckles.

“Did you just call me Mr. Sergeant?”

“S-stop changing the subject! You keep distracting me. Maybe you should be the one to shut your trap this time around and stop interrupting me. Don’t you know that’s rude—” you were cut off once again, this time with your eyes wide and lips pressed against Bucky’s.

“You’re really cute, you know that?” He muttered against your lips before pulling away slightly. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk yesterday. I was out of line. I took my frustrations out on you and it wasn’t right.”

Through his whole apology, your clouded eyes never left his perfectly, soft and wet, pink lips. Bucky watched as your tongue traced your bottom lip before they stretched into a smile, in turn triggering his own mouth to do the same.

“Kiss me again, and you’re forgiven,” you told him.

“Gladly,” he chuckled before pressing his lips to yours.

--

A/N: What did you think? Please leave some feedback in my ASK box! Also, please reblog and share with your friends. This is a new side blog and I’d appreciate spreading the word around. Thanks for reading, and thanks for existing! xx

[keen2meecha]

Novel Prep Tag: gifted

Thanks for tagging me, @aziz-writes! You’re a gem as always!

Note: I’m talkative, so most of my side comments are crossed out don’t mind me

First Look

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

After nearly failing the application test, a young girl rejected by a superpowered society for not having a superpower* of her own is accepted into Falks, a school that teaches kids how to be superheroes. But after an attack on the school nearly kills her and her classmates, she must learn to work with her new friends before one of her oldest friends is lost forever. 

(*’superpowers’ in this universe are called Gifts, and those who have them are called Gifted. The minority who don’t have Gifts are called Ungifted. The title is ironic and also a reference to a running joke Sofia has with herself)

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Novella, single book, book series, etc.)

It’s the first book in a series! Right now I have four books, but since I’m a chronic overwriter, that may or may not have to be extended to five books.

3. What’s your novel’s aesthetic?

Honestly? Aesthetics aren’t really my thing, so I’m not sure. Maybe soft warm colors, that surprised flutter in your chest when someone gives you a thoughtful present, the ache after yet another workout, that scratchy feeling in your throat when your right on the edge of crying but no one else can tell? This started out as a lighthearted superhero story I swear-

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

If you’re an anime fan, you’ll probably look at the general premise of this and some of the basic details of some of the characters and go “Wait a second, that’s a lot like My Hero Academia” and listen. I know. It’s not the same plot though, I promise! Really, at this point, I’d like to think that it’s undergone so many changes that the two are pretty decently removed, but *shrugs*. I’m not as pressed about it anymore. 

I was also loosely inspired by Harry Potter, simply because my book also takes place throughout a school year, so I’m using Harry Potter as a frame of reference for pacing (theoretically). That being said, trans rights and fuck JK Rowling am I right?

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for the novel

For the sake of saving space, I’ll not do that this go around. But imagine fireworks, a freshly brewed cup of tea, and an overwhelmingly expensive weight room and you’ve got a pretty good image of three important things in this book.

Main Characters

6. Who is your protagonist?

Sofia Smith! The Ungifted girl with a chip on her shoulder! Also an utter jock who usually wears athleisurewear and trust me, I’m as thrilled as you are about that. I don’t work out! I don’t even know what a healthy workout routine looks like! What have I done-

7. Who is their closest ally?

I’d say it’s a toss-up between Leona Kita, a girl she meets during the application tests who quickly becomes her new best friend and is not all that she seems, and Romilly Quirke, a teacher at Falks with whom she develops a close mentorship and is not all that she seems

8. Who is their enemy?

In the beginning, it’s Kyran ‘Kruze’ Cinege, Sofia’s childhood friend-turned-enemy. However, the turning point of the novel is when it’s revealed that while she and Kruze are always fighting (physically or not), there’s someone out there who’s actively trying to kill her and that person might be a more pressing threat than Kruze.

You may also see me occasionally mention The Prophet’s Daughter, who, like all of the important antagonists in this series, hilariously still doesn’t have an actual name. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

9. What do they want more than anything?

To become the top Hero it’s not bnha you weeb

10. Why can’t they have it?

She’s Ungifted, so no one believes she can do it. Not only that, but also every single other person in her class at Falks is highly qualified - they’re the most promising kids in the country, after all - and also highly motivated to do the same, so she’s got... a lot of competition.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

That she can hold up the weight of the world on her own - worse, that she has to hold up the weight of the world on her own. Among other things

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Not an artist, but I can freely say that Sofia’s face claim is Amandla Stenberg (especially Hunger Games era Amandla Stenberg because, you know, high school).

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

She’s desperately lonely, but to admit she needs other people is to admit weakness, and to admit weakness is to admit defeat - something she absolutely cannot do. I mean, not really and it’s okay to ask for help, but she doesn’t know that. We’re working on it.

14. What is the external conflict?

Sofia is fighting the entire world to become a Hero and also someone is trying to kill her and her classmates. 

Oh and each book revolves around her relationship (platonic or otherwise) with one of what I call the ‘core five’ changing and developing in a radically game-changing way. In this book, it’s her and Kruze struggling to come to terms with elements of their past and maybe overcome their conflict to become friends again...? Except their both stubborn assholes and have been fighting for so long they can’t remember how to exist in the same room without one of them blowing up eventually (literally, in Kruze’s case) (I’ll probably talk more about the core five in a different post tbh)

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

Oof. Well. If someone died on her watch, that’d be pretty bad for her. Good thing that’ll never happen though! Haha...ha...hm.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

Of this story? Shit maybe they weren’t after me after all. The story as a whole? Wait, you’re my what?

17. Do you know how it ends?

I actually have the epilogue of the last book already planned out! I will cry when I actually write it. But the end of the main plotline? Eh... I know who all is involved, and what all of the characters have evolved into at that point. But how Sofia and co. actually defeat the BBEG? I am... less sure.

18. What is the theme?

In this book specifically: it’s okay to step back and ask for help when you’re struggling - just because you can’t do it on your own doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be where you are.

In the overall series: something something found family something the power of friendship.

19. What is a recurring symbol?

Oh damn, this is a really good question. In fact, since I’m still in first draft mode (although I did write maybe a good quarter or so of a zero draft) I don’t think any have really emerged that I’ve noticed yet? But I guess I’ll come back and update this if I think of anything.

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

It’s set in a very fancy, very modern private school that’s on the edge of a city somewhere near Washington D.C. I’m... not great at describing environments/settings, though, so that’s all you get haha

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

Oh yeah, plenty. I have this whole book outlined, actually, on a chapter-by-chapter level! I got excited and also bored during my three-hour-interim between classes, and there was a whiteboard just asking to be filled... I even have some disconnected scenes from future books floating around in my mind - some incredibly emotional and poignant, some glorified shitposts. Ah, writing. It’s such a magnificent hobby.

22. What excited you about this story?

The characters! No joke, there are sixteen kids in the Falks class including Sofia, and every single one of them has their own complex backstories, motivations, and character arcs - not to mention I’ve spent a significant portion of time outlining each of their Gifts and figuring out how exactly they work. I could ramble about any of them for hours.

And that’s not even mentioning Sofia’s family, the villains, the teachers... I just really love every single character in this book!

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

Step one: watch or read something. Anything. A movie, another book, a commercial, a music video, a tiktok, I’m not kidding just about anything will do. Step two: think ‘oh, I could do that better’. Step three: jot down some early lines or general ideas. Step four: leave it to stew for a little while as you think ‘oh jeez maybe I can’t do it as well as I thought’. Step five: get suddenly inspired on it and feverishly carve out several rough chapters. Step six: let it stew some more. Step seven: get newly inspired, realize how much has changed in your mind about that earlier draft, call that the zero draft, and actually do an outline this time. Step eight: ...Write it for realsies this time!

Whew, that was a doozie! Super fun though! So, according to the rules, you’re supposed to tag the same number of people as questions you answered. So there are 23 questions, and it turns out I’ve got exactly 23 people who (I don’t think) aren’t opposed to tag games, so here, have something besides a last line tag for once! Enjoy!

REMEMBER! You are under no obligation to do this - especially since this one can seem overwhelming. I’ll be thrilled if you do it, but I won’t be disappointed or upset if you pass.

Anyways, tagging: @alcego-writes, @alanwrites, @ajbrooks-writes, @evergrcen, @jewellsfrommaruss, @brookswriting, @signedjordan, @writhoelogy, @the-violet-writer, @dustylovelyrun, @linarious, @cookiecutterwrites, @honeyprincerising, @acaptainandhisrunaway, @angelolytle, @dogwrites, @mxxnwishes, @magicalwriting, @bisexual-in-progress, @writerfae, @ocmaker, @fullydevoted, @hanboggsbooks

[side-shawty]

Burn II (Stark!Reader)

II: Elastic Heart

Fandom: Marvel (MCU)

Type: series (?)

Prompt/Summary: Tony Stark’s daughter gets cheated on

Pairing(s): Tony Stark x daughter!reader, Avengers X Reader

Requested? Yes

I was listening to In My Life by The Beatles when I wrote a lot of this. Hope you guys enjoy it!

PREVIOUS CHAPTER 

•

Y/N spent two full hours releasing everything she had been holding in since that phone call with Harley. Her father received a temperature alert from FRIDAY while he was in the lab and waited until Y/N cooled down before he went in.

On his way there he passed the Avengers sitting solemnly in the common room.

“This is bullshit,” he heard Bucky exclaim from now slightly down the hallway, “I say we go teach the kid a lesson,” despite the situation Tony felt the smallest of smiles tug as his lips. Much to his dismay you and Bucky had gotten rather close because you had been assigned to lead the upgrades on the super soldier's arm.

The Avengers all loved and looked out for you. None of them had ever seen you like this. So … broken. You were a light in the tower, both literally and figuratively. They hated seeing you in a state that they didn’t know how to fix.

The door was unlocked when he got to the room. He approached his daughter dressed in his black fireproof suit. The girl's body was still glowing a faint red. Better safe than sorry, he thought.

Tony ignored the ashes surrounding her — he knew exactly what they were from — and sat down next to his daughter, tugging her curled up form into his arms. They sat there in silence for a few moments, Anyone Who Knows What Love Is by Irma Thomas was playing quietly. It was Tony and Y/N’s feel-good song when either of them was sad.

Y/N remembered when she first got her powers and she used to have nightmares. She thought she was dangerous and that she would hurt the people she loved. Her father would come in and sing it to her each and every time and she would always feel better. She had asked her father why he picked that song that night and he told her that was all he could think of.

The two of them had no idea how long they sat there but Y/N was no longer glowing and Tony let his helmet retract into his suit. Y/N let her legs stretch out straight in front of her, turned her body, and held her father’s middle for dear life.

“Is it my fault?” Y/N asked, her voice slightly hoarse, she only cried since she had been in here.

Tony felt his blood boil and had a fleeting thought that maybe he did have something to do with his daughter’s abilities.

“Absolutely not. You did everything you could. But things were … limited for you guys. I’m not saying the kid made the right decision and the last thing he should have done was cheat on you.”

Y/N only nodded before asking, “Will it always hurt this much?”

“No, sweetheart, but the first heartbreak is always the worst. And yours is still fresh,” Tony said and placed a kiss on her head.

“Now how about we get you cleaned up and fed, and we can watch a movie or something, yeah?”

Y/N nodded and Tony stood before helping her up and they walked to her room.

•••

It took another few days of quiet family time with Tony, Pepper, and an occasional appearance by Rhodey and Happy before Y/N left her room. The Avengers were family too but they kept their distance. Each of them did visit at least once, though. Meanwhile, she did she spend a lot of her time in her private lab.

Something she didn’t do before.

Y/N liked to be around people when she worked, always said it made her creativity flow. Her father’s lab was the biggest and became the main lab for her, Tony, and Bruce. Bruce also had his own lab but had come to really enjoy working with the father-daughter duo.

Y/N was on her tenth straight hour in her lab when she got an unexpected visit.

“Mr. Parker is on his way in Miss Stark,” FRIDAY said but Y/N barely registered what the AI had said until the automatic door opened and Peter walked in.

“Hey Y/N,” Peter said walking up to the lab table she was working at. She quickly shut down all of her monitors and holograms and turned around to look at him.

“Hey Peter,” Y/N replied, moving to give him a friendly hug. He had clearly just come from school, he still had a bag from Mr. Delmar’s place in his hand.

When they pulled back Peter shook off the odd feeling he got from her turning off the monitors so fast. It wasn’t his business but that didn’t mean he wasn’t concerned and curious.

“How long have you been in here?” He asked setting the bag down.

“What time is it?”

Peter looked at his phone, “Like 3,” he told her.

Y/N sighed and rubbed at her eyes with the sleeve of her Guns ’n Roses sweatshirt, “Coming up on hour eleven,” she said and sat down.

“I brought your favorites,” Peter said pushing the bag towards her. 

When she looked inside it was filled with assorted Swedish Fish and Sour Patch Kids, “You’re an angel,” She told him.

The blush that dusted his cheeks was drowned out by look Peter was giving her, one she had become accustomed to since the article released. It was poorly masked pity. But unlike the others Peter’s didn’t stay, he shook it off in an instant.

“What are you working on?” Peter asked, b-lining into a new conversation.

“Little things and an adjustment to my suit. I’m thinking of changing the color, maybe orange or hot rod red like my dad’s first suit. But I found some nice blues, a few that match pretty well for when my fire goes blue. But then there’s this—“

“Y/N you’re rambling,” Peter cut her off.

“Sorry,” she said and looked down, playing with her fingers.

“Don’t apologize, Y/N, and don’t feel like you have to be strong around me or something. We’re friends, and it’s barely been a week since everything happened,” Peter touched her shoulder and she looked up at him, she looked into his eyes instead of just glancing at them for what felt like the first time in years.

They were silent for a moment. That was all it took for every single one of her carefully built walls to fall.

“Peter I don’t know what to do,” Y/N told him, her voice laced with emotion. “My parents, the team, they tell me it’ll get better but every time I look at my phone and open any kind of social media. I see him…I see them,” She hadn’t even been this honest with her dad. But there was always something about Peter that made her feel like she could tell him anything and he would never pity her the way her family did.

“Give me your phone,” Peter said, holding out his hand.

“Why?” Y/N asked, genuinely confused but unlocks it and puts it in his awaiting palm anyway.

“It’s time for some revenge posts,” he says and Y/N quickly stands up.

“No. The internet already knows more than enough about me. No need to tell them he broke my heart too,” Y/N says and attempts to reach for it but Peter holds it out of her reach.

“This isn’t about them. This is about showing him what he lost,” Peter said scrolling through her pictures, jeez did she take a lot of selfies. He was fending her off with one hand now.

“Peter, no. Bad idea, there’s no reason for all that,” She said, trying to move the hand on her abdomen that was forcing her away.

“Yes, there is. You didn’t block him on anything, right?” Peter asked and shifted in the blink of an eye. Removing his hand but shooting a web at one of her feet.Y/N would’ve fallen forward if not for her reflexes. He smugly walked away with her phone in his hand, still scrolling.

“No, Peter get your stupid web off of me,” Y/N said struggling to release her sneaker-clad foot.

“Perfect. So he’ll see it directly and not through one of his friends. And it’s almost 4, so I know he’s not busy.” Peter was still walking around her lab, tinkering with things with one hand while messing with Y/N’s phone with the other.

“Peter!” She called.

“Y/N, you take a lot of pictures. Nice ones too,” he said, ignoring her. She felt her cheeks heat up ever so slightly at the compliment.

“Take this off of me, I like these shoes. I don’t wanna burn them,” she said.

“I’m almost done, just gotta add a caption.”

“Ugh,” Y/N exclaimed and decided to give up. She pushed her seat over and laid on the lab floor.

Peter walked back over, “Don’t move,” he said, “This is perfect for Snapchat.”

Y/N covered her face frustrated with her hands and heard the camera click.

“All done,” he said and shot something from his wrist. The webs dissolved.

He laid down on the floor next to Y/N and she held her hand out for the phone.

She sighed, “Let me see the damage.”

He rolled his eyes and handed it over, “You’re being dramatic.”

“Mhm,” Y/N hummed as she opened up Instagram.

The first post was from about two months ago. The sun was shining through her window perfectly and Y/N couldn’t resist a quick selfie, the caption was simply “Sunkissed” with a little sun emoji.

“Gosh you’re cheesy,” She told him with a light laugh, smiling slightly.

“That’s a great caption,” he laughed with her.

“Sure, sure,” Y/N said before looking to the second post. It was of the two of them on some random day they had in the city, a candid that Steve took. They were walking down an abnormally empty street and decided to mess around. Y/N had her hands above her head, laughing, while Peter did a handstand in the middle of the road. 

It was lovely but she never posted it because, though he never said it, Harley didn’t particularly like “cute” photos of her and Peter together. The caption for this read “If the Captain ever quit his day job he could be a photographer.” Peter, of course, tagged himself and gave photo credits to Steve.

“Nice shout out Spider-Boy,” Y/N said with an eye roll before opening up Snapchat.

There were also two posts on there, the first was from her camera roll, a picture that Nat took of her laughing in the common room at one of Rhodey’s awful standard dad jokes that uncles end up using. She had a soft spot for bad jokes, this one had no caption but her happiness in that photo was palpable.

The second was her on the floor, hands covering her face and a blue heart over her webbed foot, her hair sprawled out nicely. The caption said, “Genius. Billionaire. Scientist. Area Rug?” And Y/N had no idea why this made her laugh so hard but it did.

Peter joined in on her laughing fit and as they laid on the lab floor Y/N finally felt like everything would be okay. This was the start of feeling like herself again.

When their laughter finally died down they looked at each other. Their shoulders were touching and Y/N thought that Peter had the most stunning brown eyes she had ever seen. Unbeknownst to the girl, he was thinking the same thing about her Y/E/C ones.

“Thank you, Peter,” Y/N said quietly.

“There’s no need to thank me, Y/N. We’re friends,” he says and immediately regrets it because something flashed in her eyes that he didn’t like. It sent a pang through his heart.

“Yeah,” she said and blindly grabbed his hand to give it a warm squeeze before turning her gaze up to the ceiling, but he kept his eyes on her.

They stayed there talking about nothing and everything. She told him a bit more about how she felt about everything with Harley. He told her about the Millennium Falcon that he and Ned were building out of Legos.

“So you’re saying that Nat would beat Clint in a fight even if he had his arrows?” Peter asked.

“I’m saying that she has. They never told you the Budapest story?” Y/N asked.

“I didn’t know there was a Budapest story,” he said, curiosity increasing by the second.

“Well—“Y/N began but was cut off by the alarm alerting all of the Avengers to suit up and head to the briefing room.

“Another time,” Peter said as the two of them shot up.

•

 NEXT CHAPTER 

[keensers]

1, 4, 15, 18, 20! for the fic writing meme

you delight me, anon! (from here) this got... hmm, pretty long, so most of it’s going under a cut!

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

back in december, after being wildly disappointed by tros, i thought to myself: none of this bullshit would have happened if they’d just let ahsoka and her irritating ghostly older brothers show up and train finn, who is in fact a [last name redacted] for reasons.

then i started actually plotting it out, realized my 50k concept (“Finn wakes up with a massive headache and, apparently, the ability to see dead people. Then the dead people in question start talking to him.”) needs approximately 300k of background to fully be what i want to be (an anthology love letter to the star wars universe, if it was nicer to my faves), opened a nice fresh word doc and started plotting the whole damn thing. it is called “ahsoka tano’s rules for rebels, rogues, and renegades.” in my head i call it atr4, and my tag for it is “death shall have no dominion” because, ghosts. it is very dear to me right now because i get to invent assorted relationships out of wholecloth between my favorite characters who never met in canon, which is my favorite thing to do.

so, i have two (2) actually in-progress WIPs in that universe:

the actual “Ahsoka trains Finn” headliner fic of this ‘verse, which is currently 6000 words of disconnected scenes i have typed in intermittent fugue states over the last six months

the “Obi-Wan is sad in the desert, but maybe not as sad as in canon, because, well, You Know” fic which is also the “wtf happened to Cody in this ‘verse” fic which is currently 1600 words of imperial!cody Suffering

and a list of ten (10) more that i swear are all connected. i swear it! (highlights from the list include “four almost-padawans of ahsoka tano + one who was” and “rex earns his jaig eyes at least twelve times over during the empire, and another five after.”)

the other (star wars) fic i have on my roster for codywan week (if i can swing it in time) is going to be shorter (why do i feel like i just cursed myself with that word) and the working summary (which has existed only in my head up until now) is: “fives, on the lam from the coruscant guard, the chancellor, and, worst of all, anakin skywalker, runs into cody and an unfamiliar trooper on his way to the meeting point. this has galactic consequences.” who is the unfamiliar trooper/Person In Clone Armor? 3 guesses and the first two don’t count. what are the consequences? well… we’ll see!

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

i first wrote this as a jocasta nu line in her cameo in hear me through the hum, but i liked it so much that i’ve incorporated it into atr4: “And besides, the Jedi are not made up of lightsabers and holocrons, are we? We are made up of the strength in our hearts, the deeds of our hands, and the Light which we follow.”

i think this is maybe the best way i've found of phrasing my own personal view of the jedi (not my own view of the jedi order, but my view of the jedi), which is that they’ve got access to this immense power but what actually makes you a jedi is what you do with it. it’s not the trinkets or the ancient wisdom or the code or whatever, it’s taking the power that lives in you and using it to do good even when the world is dark and the work is thankless. you can be a jedi without the order, but you can’t be a jedi if you aren’t striving for the light.

on a lighter (?) note, i’m also quite proud of the whole “obi-wan keeps trying to talk about the mission report while he’s slowly bleeding out. cody is losing his fucking mind” scene in there, because ah… that’s love, babe!

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

aw jeez. titles, since i'm usually picking from a list of 10 lines from songs or poems (or, veeery occasionally, making one up) and a lot of the time the line that is my working title isn’t the line that ends up being the final title!  

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

to be completely and honestly tbh, not… really? especially with characterization, i tend to write about characters who i have Very Firm ideas about who they are and how they would act in whatever given situation. this is good for writing (because i usually know exactly what a character would do, facing a particular choice) but sometimes bad for reading (because sometimes i'll read something and think, “that character would never do that!” even though, of course, that’s just like, my opinion, man).

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

a difficult question! because there’s so much. i include tons and tons of references in everything but for the sake of (relative) brevity i’ll say that especially in atr4 where i’ve got 2500 words JUST OF NOTES FOR THE ‘VERSE i am constantly thinking about the way everything is connected. for example, because of the comparisons i’m aiming to draw there, i currently have most of a duel between ahsoka, kylie renner, and finn written which is a close parallel of the qui-gon, maul, and obi-wan duel. (except, spoilers, ahsoka won’t get killed by a punk bitch like kyle, because reasons.)

part of this is that i love some aspects of the cyclical themes in star wars (“same eyes in different people,” legacy lightsabers, death-yet-the-force) and hate other aspects (i loathe that every sw movie is like “blood isn’t important, anyone can be a hero!” but then every freakin time it turns out that in fact, blood is important, and maybe the most important). so i tend to want to emphasize the ones i like and toss the ones i don’t.

plus, after years of writing, i have realized that there are a few well-worn themes i always circle back to, and one of those is the notion that family doesn’t define you, that it is more than blood, that you have agency over what you do and who you are and who you choose to surround yourself with. i believe in free will and have trouble with characters who think certain outcomes are Destined, but it’s a lot of fun to mess around with the concept of fate, especially in sw where it’s so ingrained in canon. screw destiny! write your own story! said every story i ever wrote.