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lesbian-deadpool · 5 years

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I’ll Be Home For Christmas

Part two of ‘We Were On A Break!’

Natasha Romanoff X reader

Words: 2,286

Warnings: Loneliness? Longing, insecurities, slight adult themes, but mainly just fluff. A kinda shit ending.

Request: Yes. You guys wanted a part 2 and here it is!

Summary: You never stopped waiting.

A/N: You may ask me if I combined both the Pentatonix version and Micheal Buble’s version. And I would have to say, yes. Yes, I did.

(Not My GIF)

***

I'll be home for Christmas

You can count on me

Please have snow and mistletoe

And presents by the tree

06:43 PM. Christmas Eve.

Touching down at the snow-coated JFK Airport made Natasha more anxious than she had expected. But this was a form of anxiety unlike any that she had felt before. This one was filled with excitement, at what waited at home.

You.

In all your wonderful glory.

Oh, how she had missed you.

Natasha had had a lot of time to think while she was away on the God-forsaken mission. One she wished Nick would have given to someone else. Maybe some rookie who was just growing into their boots, and had only been on a few missions before. God knows it was easy enough for them, it was just long. That perhaps was why Nick wanted her to do it. But that didn’t stop Natasha from hating his decision. That was one of the things that frequently flew into her busy mind.

The mission, of course, was still on her mind most of the time. Albeit more so thinking of ways to make the darn thing go faster.

Which it did not.

The mission had lasted for six years.

Six fucking years.

But hey! You know what they say? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. That saying sure was true for Natasha. She just hoped, with everything she had, that it had been true for you, too. And that her fear of you getting sick of waiting, moving on with your life with someone else by your side, was only a sick little thought that her mind dreamt up.

Seventy-four months.

Three-hundred and twenty-five weeks.

Two-thousand, Two-hundred and seventy-seven days.

Fifty-four-thousand, six-hundred and sixty-one hours.

Three million, two-hundred and seventy-nine- thousand, seven-hundred and seven minutes.

To the dot.

Like I said. She had a lot of time to think.

Natasha would lay in bed at night, counting the days, hours, minutes, hell even seconds, that she was away from you. She didn't know when she was returning to you and your hopefully awaiting arms. So, this was the next “best” thing. And when that was done, her mind would fill with you.

What you were doing. Who you were doing it with. The things that had changed. The things that didn’t. Memories of the things you've done together. And daydreams of the things you haven't. The very same things that Natasha planned on experiencing with you the moment she got back.

That’s all that ran through her mind during those six years.

And now she was back. And holy fuck was she excited.

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

I'll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams

“Y/N. Y/N, wake up.”

You felt a pressure on your chest, pushing you up and down on the mattress, in excitement. Not unlike how a child would.

You grunted out, turning your face to cuddle more into your soft pillow.

“Y/N,” the voice said, full of laughter. With hand’s tugging at your shirt, to try and get you up. Only making you huff out in annoyance, every time you were tugged up an inch or two, “Baby, please wake up.”

The body above you was now content to lay upon you, brushing their thumb over your lips, stopping every now and then to place a quick peck on them.

“Natasha, what do you want?” you groaned sleepily.

“I want you to get up.”

“What time is it?” You peaked an eye open to look upon you red-headed girlfriends beautiful face. Her hair was a mess, and her eyes were still tired. And yet. To you, she still looked like the most beautiful person in the world.

“It’s six twenty-two.”

You groaned again, flinging your head back. “Why won't you just let me sleep?!”

“Because it’s Christmas day.” Natasha smiled excitedly, which caused your heart to swoon. Knowing how much she loved the holidays because she never celebrated them as a child, or even when she was older. Once she had met Clint, her love slowly started to grow. Then she joined the Avengers, which only accelerated it more. But once she had met you. It was like every ounce of excitement she was deprived of, came flooding out of her.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

“Is it?” Natasha nodded happily.

You sighed, “Well, then I best get up, huh?”

Natasha grinned at you, before leaning down and pressing a heavy kiss upon your lips.

Your eyes widened when she pulled away, jumping from the bed, to make her way out of the room, calling over her shoulder, “C’mon, I’m cooking breakfast.”

“No!!” You jolted up. “Don’t you dare go near that kitchen!”

I'll be home for Christmas

You can count on me

Please have snow and mistletoe

And presents by the tree

The first Christmas without Natasha hurt, just like you expected it too.

It had only been three months since she had left for the mission, you had missed her more and more every day. And as soon as the holidays came around, it was almost unbearable how much you missed her.

But you weren’t completely alone.

All of the Avengers had their own plans around Christmas, but they always thought about you. Knowing you would end up spending it all alone if they did nothing about it. But, lucky for you, you had some of the best, most caring friends in the world.

Throughout the whole holiday season, they would invite you drag you along with them to join in on their festivities.

You spent Thanksgiving with Sam’s family. You remember smiling so brightly at all the young children, who looked at you like you were one of the greatest people in the world, just because you were an Avenger. Sam got jealous real quick, stating, “I’m your family. Why don't you act like this with me?” to which they said something along the lines of, “We’re used to you.” and, “But you’re a nerd.”

That was a fun day.

Wanda would drag you to a quaint and quiet coffee shop, hidden from most of New York, and have a warm drink and some cookies there, before going for a walk around Central Park.

You along with Bucky, helped Steve decorate his apartment. It took longer than you would have liked. But as a ‘thank you’ Steve bought you all food, and you ate it while talking to them about their Christmas’s, back in the olden days.

Thor didn’t really understand Christmas. But he still knew how much you had been missing Natasha this time of year, so he did what he thought best. Went to Bruce for help. That turned out to be a very good idea. Because you spent a full weekend with the men. Watching Christmas movies. And chuckling at how invested Thor was, in every single one of them.

Christmas day was the busiest, by far. But that's exactly what you needed.

First, you would wake up at Tony’s place. After spending Christmas Eve at the cabin with him and his family. Then you would have Christmas dinner with Clint and his family, before giving the kids the gifts you bought them. Before finally returning home, and having Carol force her way into your apartment with her space cat, dropping her off to “keep you company”, or so she said. You just think she got tired of Goose eating the leftovers, so piled the ginger onto you, then flying off back home after a long hug.

Goose wasn't all that bad.

You spent Christmas night with her on your chest, as you reminisced about your holidays with Natasha.

And that’s where you lay now, on the couch, a holiday movie playing in the background, as the cat purred away on your chest. Your hand idly stroking through her soft fur, eyes closed, remembering.

Six years later.

Still waiting.

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

I'll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams

Laughter flowed throughout the room.

Your laughter to be exact.

There Natasha stood, in the doorway of your shared bedroom, a short as all hell Santa costume clinging to her body, capturing every single one of her curves. Her hair was let down in waves, with a Santa hat sat atop, as to finish off the look.

“Stop laughing at me!”

“I’m sorry. It’s just, that I never expected to see you, dressed up like this.”

“Do you not like it?” Natasha asked, suddenly self-conscious. As she rolled her shoulders and tugged the skirt of the dress down some, altho it did nothing to hide her body, before wrapping her arms around herself.

At this, you jumped up from where you lay on the bed, moving over to Natasha and holding her arms in your hands, rubbing soothing circles into the flesh there.

“Now I did not say that.” A kiss to her cheek. “I think you look amazing.”

“So, you do like it?” Natasha asked, as her arms moved to circle around your neck.

“Does a bear shit on the woods?”

Natasha had to close her eyes because she rolled them so hard, shaking her head at you.

“You just had to say the least sexy thing ever, didn't you?”

Humming, you moved to pepper kisses down Natasha’s neck. “Don't worry. I can easily bring it back.”

“I know you can,” Natasha groaned. Walking you back to the bed and pushing you onto it, before straddling you. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas.” You smirked.

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

I'll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams

07:22 PM. Christmas Eve.

The walk towards your green painted apartment door, had Natasha growing more and more anxious.

Of course, she couldn't wait to see you, hold you again, to have you wrap your arms around her body. To have you by her side.

Natasha had missed the bones of you, and she wasn't going to let you go again. Not for anything this world, or any other, would throw her way.

But there were still those lingering thoughts in the back of her head, the ones that made dread tingle up and down her spine. What if you had moved on with your life? What if you didn’t live there no more? What if you met someone else, and when she walked in, she would see stuff that she didn’t recognise as hers? What if-? What if-? What if-?

Before she knew it, Natasha was stood in front of your door. Hoping her key would work as she pushed it in, she turned it.

It works.

A bright smile lit up on Natasha’s face. Giving her some hope, that she knew she didn’t need.

The door swung open, showing the homely apartment to her. Her belongings adorned with yours, filled the rooms.

Oh, thank, God!

The pictures with you two together still adorned the place.

And then she knew. She knew you were still hers, and she was still yours.

Taking a hesitant step into the home, Natasha listened to the Christmas film playing from the tv in the living room. She carefully placed her duffel, which held all of her belongings from the past six years inside, down beside the door, sliding her boots off beside it. Continuing her way into the apartment, nothing but you on her mind.

Then she found you.

Natasha stopped in her tracks, seeing you once again startling her slightly, in the best way possible. Tears pooled in her eyes as she watched you doze on the couch, with a ginger cat, Carol’s cat, sprawled out on your chest.

She couldn't take it anymore. She had to touch you. Hold you. Kiss you. Anything! As long as she was next to you.

The cat gave a sweet, but slightly annoyed, little ‘mrrp’ when she was placed onto the chair next to the couch.

“Sorry, Goose,” Natasha whispered to the cat, that now glared her way.

Laying herself atop you lightly, Natasha began peppering your neck and face with slow kisses, whispering your name between each one. After a little while of this, your eyes slowly opened, only for your vision to be filled with Natasha's stunning face.

“Natasha?!” you yelped, sitting up quickly, almost causing said red-head to fall off your lap. But luckily, she wrapped her arms around your shoulders before she could.

“Hey, baby,” Natasha cooed.

Your eyes, as well as hers, filled with tears once again, continuing to flow down your cheeks.

Starting forward, you clasped your lips over hers, kissing her for all the kisses you missed, thanks to your time away from one another. Feeling the same intensity flow from her.

“Am I dreaming?” you mumbled against Natasha’s full lips.

Ouch!

She pinched you. She really pinched you.

You playfully glared at a smirking Natasha, as you rubbed your arm.

“Does that answer your question?”

You didn’t grace her with an answer. Only pulling her back in for another forceful kiss. Natasha muttering promises, that she was never going to leave you again, this is what she wanted. You. And nothing else.

And you believed her. Why wouldn't you?

From now on. You would have Natasha back by your side. Just like you had dreamed of, for the past six years.

The rest of the night was spent doing nothing but holding the other, kissing, touching. Just being together.

And tomorrow? You didn’t know what you would do.

But none of that mattered.

You had Natasha back.

And she had you.

Finally.

And she was never leaving again.

If only in my dreams

#original work #original fanfiction #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff #marvel #MCU

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castlevania-afterdark-imagines · 5 years

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Christmas Special: Characters spending Christmas with their S/O

HAPPY HOE-LIDAYS!!!

Christmas morning is happening all around the world, but no matter what you do or don’t celebrate, or how you do or don’t celebrate it, we here at Afterdark hope y’all have a wonderful time!

The holidays are hard (pun not intended), but please know that if you’ve ever enjoyed a post on this blog, we love you, we appreciate you, and wish you all the best in the world.

Here’s your present!

Trevor

AINT NO CHRISTMAS LIKE A BELMONT FAMILY CHRISTMAS!

Lights, food, music, more lights!

His whole extended family gets together for this, so expect to be dragged along to many many events throughout the month.

No pressure about the gift buying though, they're all very practical people and contributing to the food pile is a perfectly acceptable offering.

You never would have guessed the size if his personal ugly sweater hoard.

And you are less surprised to find his mistletoe belt buckle.

It's not so much he gets jolly as he and his family honor the traditional route of drinking and feasting.

He's very shy about his few gifts he gets you though, when you both get to have Christmas Day to yourselves.

He gets a few necessities, like the soaps you like and socks to replace all the holey ones he tossed behind your back. (The man can have holey underwear but is weirdly specific about socks being intact)

But among them he'll get a cheesy sentimental thing, like a locket his nan thought you'd like or a card with a better poem than he has any right to be able to write.

With the rest of the month having been crazy, this day he wants to spend with you, in pjs, nibbling on leftovers and watching movies.

Begs you not to get sexy santa lingerie because he really doesn't need to be reminded of his family while fucking you that night.

Adrian

He can enjoy the sentimentality of the season, but you can see him roll his eyes at gaudy Christmas displays.

He sees mistletoe in doorways less as an opportunity for a grand romantic gesture and more of a game.

How many seconds does it take him to go from noticing to smooching your face?

You have the suspicion he might also be so quick about it because he wants to make sure there's no window of opportunity for anyone else to come in.

He offers to spend the holiday with your family if you prefer, his parents aren't sticklers about the exact day you visit.

He uses the cold weather as an excuse to be ten times more cuddly than normal. Obviously he just doesn't want you to catch a cold. Obviously…

Kid damn near forgets to buy gifts.

He's just so used to getting things as you need them he forgot to actually hold anything back to the holiday.

He does get cheeky with them though, adding things like "Christmas Edition" naughty dice next to your favorite candy.

Hey, the point of the holidays is to have fun, right?

Sypha

Caroling, caroling, caroling- Sypha it is literally December 1st.

Expect there to be music playing through the house 24/7 of a wide range of genres.

While her family has always spent extra care to teach each other about the variety of celebrations during the winter months they would settle on Christmas as the day to actually get together. Work schedules and all.

Has much more fun with Christmas activities than gifts or food. Sledding, building snowmen, watching movies, quality time is huge for her.

Her family has such a variety of ways to spend the holiday she has to ask you exactly what your family might expect of her if you visit.

Very much a getter of "us" gifts. Fancy coffee for us to try, a new toaster for us to use, spa passes for us to go to tomorrow.

When things boil down she's a bit glum, knowing most people will go back to being less kind without the holidays and a looming hint to be nice.

But she can't stay sad for long with you to be with her until next Christmas.

Hector

December always sneaks up on him, you can tell by the eye rolling when he hears the music in the stores change overnight.

Not digging the cold much, but he will risk freezing to avoid the gaudy Xmas sweaters.

Snowflakes are fine, he draws the line at lights and tinsel.

You can tell he gets a little salty about a lot of people only acting nice during this month but he can't stay sour when he sees you glow under the lights strung up between street lights.

Spends extra time at the animal shelters, helping them bring critters in from the cold and he donates all the blankets and pillows he can grab from second hand stores.

He's not a huge gift giver, but if there's something specific you've been eyeing he'll go out of his way to make sure you don't get it for yourself.

Is the YouTube boyfriend who gets you the puppy/kitten you've been looking at online, minus actually filming it.

He also loves making a big Christmas Eve meal, even if it's just the two of you, and then having delicious leftovers for days after.

Isaac

Probably the one who needs the most persuading to be…"jolly".

No Christmas sweaters, no Christmas music, any carolers are getting a door shut in their face.

He finds it the biggest spit in the face for people to think being jolly for 25 days undoes all of the cruelties of the world.

But you discover he has a soft spot for decorations, especially the lights.

He likes the handcrafted ornaments and the reflection of people's personalities in how they arrange their homes.

But of course he won't discourage you from enjoying the season, he just has trouble doing it himself.

When it comes to gifts he's very simple, minimal wrapping, but he does make a little game of it.

Why put everything under a tree when you can find small tokens of his affection by the coffee mugs, on your nightstand, maybe in the pantry?

He cuts off the baking early in the month though once he notices the slightest tightness to his belt.

He can't say no to your cooking, clearly this isn't his fault!

Dracula

Is he a scrooge? Not… exactly.

He gets testy about the hypocrisy of a celebrity holiday turned commercial and the religious overtones and the worst version of "Santa Baby" to be released in his lifetime which he always thought was a garbage song in the first place-

But for you he can suck it up.

He always gets confused at how people with wish him a Merry Christmas for things like holding doors during December, even though he does that year round.

To be honest he'll follow your leads, not carrying many traditions with him.

You like big family gatherings? Sure, he can bring the roast beef or honey ham for the crowd. You want to hide away and drink peppermint schnapps in hot chocolate watching horror movies? Strange approach but whatever makes you happy.

He won't buy a ton of gifts, but the one thing he has a weakness for is holiday lingerie. It is perhaps the one thing he could argue that pays tribute to the original holiday practices, fucking.

It's gaudy and can be ripped apart easily but replacing it is what next Christmas is for.

Lisa

You can guess by the boxes upon boxes labeled "XMAS" living in the attic that there's some serious decorating that's gonna happen December 1st.

Lights everywhere, giving a little ray of hope and magic. At least that's how she will describe the effect she wants her elaborate display to have.

No religious symbols, since she wants the feelings of goodwill to be broader in scope.

She'll drag you outside to browse other people's displays, squeezing your hand and pulling you close and she gets lost in the glittering lights.

She doesn't push much for the family get togethers, she likes to keep things intimate and personal with you.

Movies, going ice skating, just taking the time to appreciate being together.

Which means she's a hell of an accurate gift giver, always finding the exact thing you need without you having to ask for it.

She also does a loooot of baking. She does donate a lot of it, and will give it to carolers if they come by, but you might need to step in to tell her that you have no more room in the fridge or pantry for all of the goodies.

Godbrand

The whole of December was quiet...too quiet.

Sure he was up to his usual hijinks, but not really feeding into the holiday theme.

Aside from the stash of eggnog in the fridge and gigantic bottle of rum to go with it.

You would've thought he'd completely ignored the tree aside from a few baubles that got rearranged.

Then Christmas Eve rolls around and he's full ugly sweater, glitter and lights in his beard, sack of gifts over his shoulder, "Ho ho ho Merry FUCKING Christmas!"

Apparently he doesn't think much of wasting the whole month being half assed when he can go balls to the walls in one night.

Spoils the fuck out of any kids in either of your families.

Once your home alone, expect the whole ribbon on his dick, sexy Santa ready to "cum down your chimney" bit.

Is it gaudy and ridiculous as fuck? Yes.

But he'd rather be over the top for you than make you think he just hadn't cared at all.

-Mod Soviet

#trevor belmont #adrian tepes #Sypha Belnades #Vlad Dracula Tepes #Hector #isaac #Godbrand #Lisa Tepes #gender neutral reader #mod soviet #modern au #holiday imagines #winter holidays #imagines #Castlevania

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faunahudson · 4 years

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santa baby - sauna

WHO: Sawyer Hudson and Fauna Hudson - @sawyer-hudson

WHEN: 25th December 2020

WHERE: The Flanagan Household, Belfast, Northern Ireland

WHAT: Sawyer and Fauna do some Christmas themed.

WARNINGS: Smut, Santa/Regina George, light degradation

Sometimes roleplaying was slightly hit and miss. That was the conclusion Sawyer came to when staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, donned in the costume Fauna had picked out for him. Santa's suit hug him maybe slightly too tightly, and there was no vest under it, his bare chest peaking out from under the red velvet, the matching trousers only coming up to rest on his hips, which he had no doubt in mind was the intention. He had spent a good couple of minute messing with the Santa hat, and when he deemed it was acceptable, dashed down the corridor from the bathroom back to Fauna's bedroom before either her parents, brothers, or his sister could see them. "Hey," He said, swiftly closing the door behind him, "When you told me you had a sexy Christmas surprise, I imagined there'd be a certain present I'd get to unwrap, not that I'd be the one, uh, distributing the gifts." Fauna smoothed down her skirt in the mirror, very satisfied with the Regina look for today. Her red lipstick tying in perfectly with the red velvet look that she was rocking. She heard the bathroom door open and carefully reclined across her childhood bed, having changed the sheets into red ones she had Mary pick up under the pretence of festiveness. When Sawyer entered the room she pouted a little at his first words. “Excuse me Hudson. If you want to unwrap your gift then you’d better play along properly. Enter as Santa and then maybe I’ll tell you what this is all about.” The blonde demanded, gesturing her hand towards the door without a hint of a joke. It should have been obvious the moment Sawyer walked in and noticed the blonde wig, that he should have kept his mouth shut and continued with the act. However, he took a moment to stare at Fauna -- well, Regina -- firstly incredously at how she spoke to him, eyes lingering a little too long on her get up. A part of him wanted to lecture her about speaking to him like this, but another part of him was extremely curious about this evening's plans. "Regina, I didn't know you'd be joining me this evening." He said, voice more tightly than if he was speaking to just Fauna. "One second." Promptly exiting the room, he took a deep breath, praying the other five members of the household didn't have the sudden urge to walk down the corridor, before pulling open the door ocne more. "Ho! Ho! Ho!" He announced, "Merry Christmas! Have you been naughty or nice, little girl?" As Regina Fauna found herself ever more confident in drinking in the attention that she got from Sawyer. Watching his eyes drag across her body. “You didn’t think I was going to go a whole holiday season without giving you a gift?” She was glad when he did as he was told and entered again. “It’s funny that you should ask that Santa Baby... because that’s what this is all about. I want to know if I made your nice or naughty list.. and if I’m on the naughty list I was hoping we could come to some kind of arrangement about getting back onto the nice list.” She purred, slipping off the bed and heading over to him. Regina never wasted time, as she pressed her body close to his. It was important to Fauna to take this scene seriously, and therefore important to Sawyer, although Regina as an added extra to this type of scenario was indeed more of a challenge. "Well," Sawyer-as-Santa said, eyeing her carefully, trying not to groan at the feeling of their bodies pressed together, not wanting to give her the satisfaction. He instead stepped back, holding his hands on her waist firmly to stop her from moving closer. "Why don't we get comfortable, little girl, come sit on my lap, and I'll check my list." They moved to the bed, him spreading his legs slightly wider than usual, pulling her down onto his lap. "What's your name?" Regina watched him eyeing her and saw how he put his hand on her waist to keep her from doing what she had been intending and rubbing herself up against him. “Sure Santy Claus.” She purred, trying not to let out any kind of a squeal as he pulled her down onto his lap. With a slightly devilish smile the blonde began to shift in his lap a little, as if she were trying to get comfortable but in reality she was simply grinding down on him. “Regina George.” She responded in a voice that was perhaps the must innocent that Regina could muster. He refrained from groaning as she shifted around on his lap, his cock twitching in the tight Santa pants. He didn't want to give Regina the satisfaction, not just yet. Sawyer-Santa, Sawnta he dubbed in his head , lips flinching amusedly for a moment, before focusing on the scene at play. "Regina George...yes yes...we know all about you at my workshop," He said, "The naughtiest girl, right on top of the list." He raised an eyebrow, "And why do you think you've been so naughty this year, Regina?" Regina almost pouted when he gave no reaction to her shifting and instead threaded her arms around his neck. If she’d been doing the scene as herself she would have paused to find out where his smile had come from. But as Regina she simply sighed with indignation that she was the naughtiest girl on the list. “Ugh! That is so unfair. Is this because I’ve put that Cady Heron girl in her place, and been sleeping with Hudson even though he has that simpering little submissive?” She asked in a temper. “Surely you can’t be mad at me about that? Hudson likes it when I’m mean to him.” It was fun, to have the occasional scenes where Fauna -- Regina -- was more of a brat. Sawyer didn't like to be a hard-ass, and he never really needed to be, but he felt like a different version of himself when dealing with Fauna's alter-ego, and he guessed as Santa he was a different person altogether. The benevolent leader of Christmas, the one who decided who was good and to be rewarded, and who was bad and needed to be punished. His eyes flicked up and down Regina for a moment, and he decided that she definitely needed to be punished."I don't thnk it's very unfair at all, those seem like very valid reasons for you to be on the naughty list," He said, "And I don't think he likes it, he's had to punish you quite a bit, hasn't he, Regina? I think maybe you secretly enjoy it." He raised an eyebrow, as if daring for her to challenge him. Fauna loved playing this role, because she could mirror every early 2000’s bitch she had ever loved without actually hurting anyone. She made a little ‘hmph’ sound when he claimed that they were all valid reasons for her to be on the naughty list. Face pulled down in annoyed pout when he said she deserved to be on the naughty list. “I think maybe he’s the one who enjoys it.” She protested, folding her arms, eyes glinting as she returned his challenge. Regina never backed down quickly unlike Fauna herself who usually almost immediately backed off. Sawyer recognised the counter-challenge Regina was putting on the table, and decided to rise to it. That was the whole point of her meeting up with him, to pay her dues for being on the naughty list, after all, wasn't it? "I believe he does, but because he gets to punish naughty girls like you, he gets to be on top of the nice list. All you need to do, Regina, to get what you want for Christmas this year, is to admit you're a bad girl and accept a spanking. But," He smirked, taking in a moment to appreciate how well Fauna played entitled bratty characters, a far cry from who she was, "I think that's what you wanted for Christmas all along, right?" Him saying the word spanking was usually enough to make her stir a little, and sure enough she shifted a bit on his lap with excitement at the idea. “Hudson gets to be top of the nice list because he smacks my ass?” Regina huffed though she wanted it, she wanted the spanking very badly but she wasn’t willing to just completely bend she would have to do it on her own terms. “I mean I definitely asked for a pink Porsche for Christmas.. and a new set of FENTY underwear.. however.. I suppose if it’s what will get me back on the nice list then..” The blonde leaned in close. “I’ve been a very naughty girl... and I need a spanking to set me right.” He couldn’t help the very un-Santalike smirk that plastered on his face when he felt Regina shift. “He’s just being Santa’s little helper.” He observed, knowing she was close to giving in, his hand snaking around her waist, resting on her lower back, stroking a teasing pattern into the skin. “Thank you for admitting that Regina, maybe you’ll get what you wished for after all, now stand, hike up that skirt and expose that ass for me, and then bend over my lap.” He ordered, enjoying the idea of her being on Santa’s lap in an entirely different way. Her mouth twitched at his comment about her being Santa’s little helper, but she quickly rearranged it into Reginas snooty expression again. She shifted herself against when he put his hand on her back, her heart fluttering a little when he asked her to bend over his lap. “Alright..” She tutted, standing up and turning away from him so that she could make a show of flipping up her skirt and slowly dragging her panties down before she leaned over his lap. She might not want to tell him so, but she was more than excited for her punishment. He appreciated the show Regina did for him, and once she was positioned over his lap as told, he began to caress her naked cheek. “Good girl,” Sawyer purred, almost sarcastically. “See was that so hard to be good for me?” He teased, before lifting his hand up and spanking her firmly on the cheek he just stroked. Firm, but not too hard, but definitely with enough force to leave a delicious red mark on her pale skin. “And what do we say after every spanking, Miss George?” He prompted. Regina tried hard not to show how aroused she was by the situation. Though she knew that the small sharp breaths that left her body betrayed her. “Being good for you is not a requirement.” She responded slightly bitterly, though she knew that it was. The blonde couldn’t help but moan just a little as his hand came down on her ass. Hips shifting just a little with arousal. “Thank you Sir.” She said without really thinking about it. “Or something like that.” Sawyer chuckled, pausing the next spank, hand lingering in anticipation, hovering in the air. "I think you'll find, little girl, it's the only requirement." He corrected her, smirking at the moan, and the little shift of her hips, as if trying to gather some friction. "Sounds perfect to me," He said, before spanking her again, "Now tell me, Miss George, what do you want for Christmas? Aside from the lingerie and car? What, in this moment right now, do you want?" The blonde waited for the next strike and found herself almost holding her breath anticipating his hand. Where he couldn’t see her face she licked her lips, Sawyer was always so hot when he was in control like this. She couldn’t help but let out another little noise of surprise when his hand came down again. “Thank you Sir.” She responded curtly. “I want.. to get this over and done with so you can fuck me. Because let’s face it.. everyone wants to fuck me.” She declared without shame, Regina George was never shy. Not even when it came to the all seeing, all knowing Father Christmas. He chuckled, tempted to deny her for the way she had answered his question, but stopped himself because she had only followed orders. Sawyer never said how nicely she had to tell him, just to tell him what she wanted. "Keep making demands like that, young lady, and I'll drag this on until you're sobbing for release." He warned, as another smack landed on her cheek, "But I don't think everyone wants to fuck you, not without a bit of begging from your own end." Sawyer smirked, biting his lip at the thought of it all. "Beg." He ordered, with another smack to punctuate it. "Off my lap and on your knees and beg for me to fuck you." The blonde couldn’t help but let her mouth fall open when he threatened to make her sob for release. Her thighs squeezing together slightly with arousal. “Thank you Sir.” She remembered as his hand came down again. Had she been playing herself she would have perhaps teased him about all Dominants being secretly evil. But Regina was just slightly shocked that she was being forced to beg, this early, before arousal had truly penetrated her bravado. In a very unlike Regina manner her cheeks flushed red. She slid off his lap and onto her knees, chin jutting up with her own pride. “Please..” She swallowed. “I really want you to fuck me.” Her tone was flatter than really begging, but Regina could never quite give in properly right away. Sawyer knew the usual Regina routine like the back of his hand by this point, but he thought since they were shaking things up with this specific roleplay in mind, he might as well try and catch her out when he could. Try and see how much of Fauna's natural good girl instincts would jump out to contradict with Regina's more bratty side. All he could do at her version of begging to fuck her was raise his eyebrow unimpressed, pretending to check the time on the imaginary watch on his wrist. "You know, Miss George, I have plenty of other naughty girls to get on the good list before Christmas Eve. If you're not gonna take it seriously, I'm just going to have to go." Regina pouted a little when he seemed unimpressed with her display of begging, but as her eyes traced his abs peaking through the outfit and the strong line of his jaw, she confirmed how much she actually did want this. "No.. please Sir." She responded, changing her posture from grumpy to seductive, leaning forward on her knees to put her hands on his thighs. "Please, I want you so badly. I want you to fuck me, not any of those other naughty girls.. I want you to fuck me like the bad little girl that I am. Please, please fuck me. I'm desperate for it, all you've done is put me in my place and I'm already so wet for you. Do you want to feel how wet I am for you?" It was so easy how much he could make Regina work for it, and he focused on her words as she begged, the change in her body language, how she placed herself for the sole purpose for Sawyer to look at her. To get him as desperate as she sounded, and honestly it was working. His cock twitched against the soft velvet of the Santa pants, and he bit his lip as he thought about his next move. “Since you’ve proved to me you can do what you told, I’ll let you have a little treat,” He decided. “Do I make you suck me off whilst you’re already conveniently on your knees for me, put that mouth you run to good use to get me nice and hard to fuck you with, or do I let you back on my lap, to finger fuck you, inspect how wet you claim to be?” He asked, curious in which direction she’d want to take it. Reginas entire body language had shifted now that she was in seduction mode, and she continued to run her fingers lightly over his leg. Cheating just a little because she knew that it turned him on. Licking her lips she leaned in closer. “Why don’t you let me show you what a good little girl I can be and suck you off and then see how wet it makes me.” The blonde was hedging her bets, she wanted his fingers inside her but she didn’t want to admit it in case he teased her by taking the opportunity away. Plus the Fauna part of her brain was always a little desperate to bring Sawyer pleasure. Sawyer tried not to shift at the sensation of her running her fingers down his leg, sometimes as equally stubborn to show his enjoyment as much as Regina was. Truthfully the suggestion was delicious and as much as he wanted to enthusiastically agree, he had to pace himself, pretend he was mulling it over. "You can try," He eventually said, "Show me how much of a good girl Regina George can be." Sawyer leaned over from where he was sat, hand placing over the back of her neck, to angle her head to look at him properly in the eyes. "I don't want you breaking eye contact from me the entire time, I want to see how much you enjoy being a good little girl." Internally Fauna had to bite her lip to stop herself from visually melting just a little when she challenged her. Regina however quirked an eyebrow when he set down his terms. She was beyond aroused, but she wasn’t sure she wanted him to know that. It wouldn’t do if people thought she enjoyed being a good little girl for anyone. However she nodded as much as she could without breaking eye contact. “I can do that for you Sir.. though don’t be afraid to tell me how much you like it.” She purred as she went for the waist band of his pants, tugging them down. She ran one hand over his length as she leaned in to swipe her tongue over the head of his cock. Sawyer had to steady his breathing, not wanting to show just how desperate he was for this. Fauna was an amazing, talented person in many ways, and that included her mouth. Mixed in with Regina’s sassiness, it was hot and almost overstimulating. “Only if I’m enjoying it,” He managed to say, reminding her who’s in charge, gulping thickly as she pulled his trousers down, freeing his cock, her tongue making contact with his sensitive head. “Oh....fuck...” He gasped out. Regina liked watching him a lot as she slowly slid her mouth down his length pressing her tongue to the underside of his cock as she did so. It always made her feel powerful to see how she could break him down just a little with what she considered to be such a small notion. She continued until she had taken him all the way in, before pulling back just as slow. You should always start with a tease, was her personal motto. Once she’d pulled her mouth back, she gave him a little wink before she began to bob her head with a little more speed. Sawyer let out a shaky breath as she began to work over on his cock, eyes slipping shut as he felt his length hit the back of her throat, letting out a groan. "Shit," He moaned, "Guess your mouth is good for something other than talking back." Sure, the Dominant had stammered out the sentence, but he couldn't help but flutter open his eyes and smirk down, rolling his eyes at the wink, another moan falling from his lips as she increased the speed. "Don't...stop..." She watched his eyes fall shut with satisfaction, glad that she already had him starting to fall apart just a little for her as she continued to work her mouth over him. She stopped for a moment again when she had him all the way to the back of her throat, and as she pulled back she hummed around his length to create a slight vibration to further stimulate him. Doing a few ministrations like that before returning to her regular rhythm. The familiar twist low in his belly only increased in pressure when Fauna hummd around his cock, and he let out a groan. He was so close already, but he didn't want to come like this, he wanted to drag it out for the both of them. "Fuck, Kitten," He murmured, momentarily forgetting the roleplay aspect of the scene for a moment. When it popped back into his head, he snapped his eyes back open from where they had fallen shut, glancing down at her, reaching out to hold a tuft of her hair. "That's enough, Miss George," The Dominant panted out, "You've proven yourself to be a good girl for me so far, why don't you come back on Santa's lap, and we can check how wet you are for me, and see if you're deserving for an early Christmas present?" Fauna almost smiled when he said her special little name instead of Reginas, because she loved to make him lose control like that. But she didn't say anything because she was more than enjoying herself. She whined as he pulled at the wig stilling her movement almost wishing that it was her real hair that he was tugging on, shifting her hips a little with arousal at the husky quality of his voice. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself Sir, I did say that I was very good with my mouth." Carefully she rose from her knees and laid herself across his lap. "I really am hoping for that early Christmas present." Sawyer had to remind himself not to be too rough with Fauna’s hair, that it was a wig she had probably spent ages laying just right. He didn’t want to ruin the mood of the scene, or accidentally catch it and hurt her. “Well guess we’ll see, won’t we?” He mused to her, shifting to make sure she was comfortable on her lap. He moved his hand onto her thigh, slowly tracing the sensitive skin as he moved further up in between her legs. “Tell me again how badly you want me.” He ordered, murmuring in her ear. Regina waited patiently while he shifted them, smug in the knowledge that she’d done a good enough job to get him a little flustered. Before suddenly his hand was moving up her thigh and the smugness was replaced by a little pant of excitement. “I want you so badly Sir, I want your fingers in my cunt... I need you to feel not just hear how badly I want you, I’m so wet for you Sir. I don’t act like this for just anyone you know.” She responded in a low purr, trying to make sure that despite the fact that she was begging that she still sounded somewhat in control. If he had his way, he'd listen to her beg for him all day, cock twitching at the desperate ache of want in her voice, a pleasurable pain all too familiar to Sawyer. And though he wanted to keep teasing, keep her begging, have her practically sobbing under his control, he didn't know how much patience he had left himself. "Good girl," He rewarded her, hands snaking up her sensitive skin, fingers teasing her lips, letting out a groan at the wet warmth he was greeted with, biting his lip in anticipation. "I'm impressed you weren't lying," He murmured, fingers running up and down her lips, thumb circling at her clit,"You are fucking soaked for me." Her breath hitched again as he ran his hand up her thigh, waiting with anticipation until he finally began to touch her where she wanted him the most. The blonde let out an uncharacteristically desperate moan as he teased her. Hips shifting on his lap a little as she searched for friction. “Lie? Me? Never.” Regina lied, though the words were lost to a loud needy moan as his thumb finally found her clit. “So wet for you.” She promised. “Only for you.” The blonde encouraged, not wanting him to take away the pleasure now that she had it. Something about the way the Regina character mixed in with Fauna's own clear desperation really did something to Sawyer, and her began nipping at her throat, fingers sliding in easily into her wet core, curling upwards, before he began to slowly finger-fuck her in teasing motions, wanting to her her beg for it before he filled her with his cock. "God so desperate and needy," He groaned, breath hot against her ear, "What do you want for Christmas?" He repeated, smirking because he had a feeling he knew the answer, and he was more than ready to give it to her, "What does my good little girl want fro me this Christmastime?" The little submissive couldn't help but let out an eager whine from the combination of his fingers pushing inside her and the nips to her neck. Unable to stop herself from grinding back against him as his fingers teasingly pulled in and out of her, desperate for him to give her a little more, to fuck her a little faster. "I want you." She said forgetting her character for a moment, her words clouded by lust before she corrected herself. "I want you to fuck me hard." She corrected in her Regina voice, though it was way harder to keep thinking about Regina when he was calling her his good little girl. "I want you to fill me up, and make me see fucking stars." He couldn't help the chuckle that left him, vibrating against her neck from where he nipped at the skin with his teeth. "You're so pretty when you beg," He commented, the speed of his fingers inside her increasing. "I want to fucking ruin you, I never want you to feel pleasure with anyone else like you do with me." Sawyer's voice was low and husky, and he had an almost dangerous glint in his eye as he removed his fingers, using the hand that was holding her to lift her chin so she had no choice but to look him in the eye, as he sucked the juices of his fingers. "Fuck you taste delicious, guess there was a sweet side to you after all, Regina." He teased, before shifting, where she was sat on his lap, giving his exposed, hard cock a few strokes, before both hands reached to grip her hips, and he slowly began to push inside her. Regina let out a little annoyed huff at his words as if she was somehow above being a pretty beggar, but it came off somewhat pathetic due to the fact that she was panting desperately with excitement, hips pushing back against his hand as he fucked her. "I-" She began to form some kind of sassy remark but it died before it begun, he had her entranced. So all she could do was watch with lust filled eyes as he brought his fingers to his lips, letting out a soft whine as she reached to put her hands on his shoulders nails digging in just a little as she watched him. "I've told you before Sir, I have a pussy to die for." She managed, before she let out another needy whimper as he began to push inside her. "Fuck.. yes.." The blonde mewled, head tilting back. Sawyer chuckled in a way that was more dirty and mischevious than Santa-friendly. "Cat got your tongue?" He teased with his words, as he was teasing her with his hands, feeling a rare type of smugness wash over him that he could do this to her with a few well-placed touches and words. She seemed to have found her persona again just before entered her, and he playfully rolled his eyes at how quickly the biting words turned into a whimper, because it was obvious Regina was losing her hold, and he wasn't afraid to tell her so. "Well it seems like I have a cock you're absolutely desperate for," He groaned as he began to thrust, slowly and almost painfully, burying his head into his shoulder as his own desperation began to sink in. Sawyer didn't know how long he'd be able to tease her as it was already not doing himself any favours. He was so attractive to her when he was smug like this, and she had to hold back from telling him so. Because Regina George didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. Even though she was desperate for him right now and she knew it was written all over her face, pushing her body as close to him as she could as he pushed slowly inside her. The blonde let out another needy noise that was akin to a sob as he teased her. “Please fuck me Sir. Please I need you to fuck me hard.” She begged in his ear, unable to hold back. “Ruin me.. make it so I can only ever think about your cock from now on.” She dug her nails into his shoulders as she ground her hips down on top of his length. leather daddy17/02/2021 Sawyer couldn't hold back anymore, her sobbing out of desperation only tipping him further over the edge, and with his teeth grazing the skin of her neck, he began to fuck her hard and fast, letting out his frustration in the best way he could. "I want you to think of me, and only me, no matter what." He instructed in a low grunt, finger nails digging into her hips to hold her in place as his thrusts deepened. "When you're whoring yourself out for jocks on the football team, when you're touching yourself late at night. You only think of me." The blonde gasped as his teeth scraped over the skin of her neck, and let out another soblike noise of relief as he began to fuck her hard and fast. Her nails digging in even harder into his shoulders as she rocked her hips against him. “I will Sir, no matter what. I’ll only think of you fucking me, how good you feel inside me.” She promised breathlessly.”When I’m using my fingers to get myself off I’ll be wishing it was you instead.” Fauna added beyond turned on at this point, she took a hand from his shoulders snaking it down her own body. “Can I?” She asked referring to touching herself. Every single noise that left Fauna's mouth urged Sawyer on, and he didn't stop, only trying to go as hard as fast as they both craved in this moment, as evidenced by his hard grip on her waist, surely causing bruises, and her sharp nails digging into the skin of his shoulder blades, making him hiss every so often in pleasurable pain. "Good girl, I don't want you ever getting off unless it's because of me." He growled in her ear, eyes following where her hands moved from his shoulders to inbetween her legs. "Yes, yes," He groaned out, not even caring he was supposed to act more Dom-like, to berate her for her lack of manners. They were both too far gone now, no longer caring about the pleasantries of the scene they had created, only caring about the end result. "Fuck, Kitten," He groaned, "I'm so close." Fauna couldn’t barely think now that he was giving her exactly what she wanted, little moans and whines leaving her lips with every thrust. “I won’t.. I swear.. only you Sir. There’s only ever you.” Regina was basically gone now, Fauna was just telling him the truth. He was it for her forever, the only one that she would ever think of or let touch her. Before the words of approval were even fully out of his mouth she was rubbing at her clit. Fingers moving quickly to try to keep up with the punishing rhythm that their hips had created. Leaning her forehead against his shoulder for support as she did so. Knowing that he would support her. “Me too Sir... can I cum?” She choked out against his skin, the pleasure radiating through her body almost too much to handle. Sawyer didn’t know when Regina had completely evaporated from Fauna but he was grateful to have his Kitten back when they were like this, pushing each other over the edge, enjoying the everythingness of each other. “Yes, yes,” He moaned, not only answer to her question but as a proclamation on how he himself was feeling. “I...fuck,” And with that he came, realising with a groan, steady rhythm growing sloppy. “Come for me, Kitten,” Sawyer commanded, softly urging her to finish too. Despite the ridiculousness of the original set up there was a kind of intimacy that had settled over the two of them in this final moment of being together in this way that was so special to Fauna. She whined as she felt him release inside of her, pressing her mouth against his shoulder half as a kiss and half as moan. "Love you so much Sir." She choked out as she came hard, clenching around his length. Before she felt herself go boneless against him. "So good." She panted. The need for release gone, the cloud of lust in his head slowly evaporating, Sawyer couldn't help but laugh once they were both sated, remembering the original premise for this scene. He laughed against her, trying not to exert himself. "God I love you so much," He murmured, giving himself a moment to breathe before he pulled out of her with a hiss. "Let's get us cleaned up and ready for bed?" Sawyer then suggested, tucking some stray hair of the blonde wig behind Fauna's ear, no longer seeing her as Regina. When Sawyer laughed Fauna laughed too, peaking her head up from where it had been buried in her shoulder. She leaned in to delicately kiss his forehead. “Merry Christmas Sir.” The submissive giggled and then nodded. “You might have to carry me though because I think that you’ve broken my legs for now.” She informed him with a little shrug, completely content

#(( adventures with sawyer ))

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jq37 · 5 years

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May we have a recap, please? :)

**spoilers for panic at the art show and home for the holidays**

OK people. I actually don’t have a ton of commentary on these two so I’m gonna try and keep it (relatively) short and sweet [Edit from Future Me: Failed Step 1].

Also, iirc, this is the week Dropout starts streaming new Fantasy High eps on Wednesdays which is very dope and I am very excited for. I probably won’t do full on recaps like I do for normal eps because, lbr, I don’t strictly have the time to be recapping these eps at all and it’s pure stubbornness that keeps me from making wiser time management decisions. But, rest assured, if I have an Opinion, you will hear it whether you want to or not.

Anyway, on with the show.

Last recap, I mentioned that this ep was giving me Aelwen house party vibes and now it reminds me of that ep in another way: Everyone rolled like TRASH almost the entire ep. It was so frustrating! They barely got any hits in until like halfway through the ep.

(Aw man, I just realized I’m gonna have to remember which spelling of Aelwen is correct again now that FH is coming back.)

I love how Murph is immediately like, “I need to make sure my wife doesn’t die during this fight avenging her fictional husband.”

Isabella also has Aelwen’s trick of poofing around the battlefield which is annoying as hell (ha) for the group.

Siobhan hilariously casts fear on Priya just to be spiteful. I thought she was doing it to help the evac process but no. It was a purely spiteful action. Bless.

When Kug turns into an ape he, of course, turns into *the* NY ape, King Kong.

“I roll a nat 20 on an epic shit.”

When Brennan was describing Kingston’s spectral New Yorker Guardians I was already thinking about that one part of Spiderman 2 (the OG Toby Mac version) and then he straight up said, “You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us,” and I lost it.

“Deny the stairs the pleasure of my feet.” Emily is a poet.

I want to know what makes a pigeon spicy more than anything.

The fact that Brennan killed Ox AGAIN and then immediately looked into the camera and let the audience know the dog was fine because he clearly Oracle stared into the future between eps and saw the entire internet sharpening their pitchforks was so funny.

About midway through the ep, Pete tries and fails to send Isabella back to hell and Isabella starts monologing about her plans and connection with Robert Moses (she stole the list from Santa and is/was gonna marry Moses apparently). I wonder if Brennan was like, “These players are for sure gonna murder her without getting any useful info out of her unless she goes full Bond Villain right now.”

And, proving my point, Emily immediately does 56 points of damage, royally f-ing Isabella up.

This is a really civilian heavy fight which feels weird in a way the FH fights never did. Like, these aren’t even civilians who live in an adventuring town in a fantasy world. These are just normal ass civilians in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Pete fails a wild magic roll after failing to teleport into the building and then gets a choice of getting really strong (which prob would have let him bust down the door) or to teleport in (which is what he does and exactly what he wanted). Very clutch when the dice rolls play into the story like that.

Kingston lightning bolts Isabella’s hair off which is just malicious but also totally called for.

On her next turn, Sophie gets hurt on purpose to get low enough to activate her ring, lets her hair burn for long enough to shorten it to a cute bob, insults Isabella, then knocks her tf out.

I love that Emily took one of her teeth (a seemingly crazy move) and when called out by Lou was like, “It’s a link to Robert Moses” (a completely reasonable answer). That’s the Axford one-two punch.

I didn’t mention it before but, Willie the golem is here, first immobile but then brought back by Misty. Post fight, he says he was somehow brought here by one of the evil factions of the city and says they’ll talk about it later. Also, Misty makes out with him (DON’T KINKSHAME HER).

With a high insight roll, Kingston is able to deduce that the group was ambushed (though not by Priya) and that their victory was a really important one for the fate of the city.

(Sidenote: The amount that Pete is Over Priya in this ep is so funny.)

Back at Wally’s (which is where Kug is now staying) Wally has gotten Kug a dog bed to sleep in and fancy charcuterie cheese because he and Ricky are the only pure-hearted people in NYC.

At the same time, Pete and Kingston have a very sweet heart to heart and then settle down at Kingston’s place to chill and listen to jazz. Idk how else we expected this to resolve, considering this is a Brennan Lee Mulligan DM’d show where the sacred pillars are Teamwork, Friendship, Communication, and Making up an NPC on the Fly Because One of Your PC’s Decided to do an Insane Thing.

Next up is the Christmas ep and Brennan, Emily, and Zac are in sweaters for the occasion.

Well,actually it’s the 21st and Emily immediately clocks that that’s the solstice.

Are cookies the good carb?/Absolutely not. But have fun with your life. (I love Ricky’s soft jock energy.)

“I run deliveries,” Pete says to Kingston’s parents, not technically lying but also not being completely truthful. Misty would be proud.

Going over to Misty, it seems pretty clear at this point (and it’s confirmed in the promo for next ep) that Misty’s fairy business is some kind of de-aging/reincarnation for herself. I wonder how many of these she’s done so far. She said she’s been around for, what? 200, 300 years? Assuming she’s been doing then reincarnations at about 65-70 years old and she reincarnates to around 25? Maybe 6 times? Idk. Just spitballing.

Saucer of milk to keep the faeries from stealing her (non-existing) children. Faerie lore is wild y'all.

Did you take another level of warlock?/Yeah bitch.

The fact that since Sophie has joined a monastery, she’s only taken Warlock levels and no Monk levels is very funny from a story perspective. It’s like, she finally comes to this sacred place to be trained to her full potential and she’s just spending what should be her sparring time playing with her cat in exchange for spells. Wild.

Emily’s cat-like, self-satisfied grin when Brennan is like, “So you just jerry-rigged yourself clairvoyance powers, huh?” is so good.

And she did it on the fly because Emily Axford is winning D&D. There are no points but she’s winning.

So, uh, Emily does, two things, very in character right after the other:

Thing number one: She send her unseen servant to spy on her family. Her dad seems hardline, “F, Dale. Whatever. Family first. She needs to get over it.” On the other side of the spectrum is her mom who is very upset about the whole affair with her siblings falling in the middle.

The second thing she does, very casually I might add, is have her unseen servant BURN DOWN HER HOUSE SO SHE CAN COMMIT INSURANCE FRAUD.

EMILY

Everyone loses their minds and rightfully so. What a wild-ass swing that no one could have seen coming. I love it.

“I look in my backpack which is now my home[…]"

I almost forgot that Ricky was a fire fighter who would not abide that nonsense until Brennan decided to cut to him.

Ricky just dolphin swims across the Hudson in 2.5 mins to go put out the fire that Sophie set. Amazing.

Ally mocking Emily/Sophie: Truthfully, I don’t know what happened.

"I love John McClane, because he loves his wife.” WALLY

Wally: Oh we’re gonna tell a lie on Christmas.

“This is what winning looks like.”

I would really like to know what trace stuff what on the drugs Pete got from 7 but Ally rolled too low to figure it out.

“I disassociate fully."

Well it took him a long ass time but glad to have Pete on the selling drugs to kids is bad train. Choo-choo, dude.

7 saying you can hack in real life in reference to his AK-47 has the same energy as Hardison using the word hack in literally any semi-weird episode of Leverage.

SOCIAL MEDIA IS VOLUNTARY PANOPTICON

So Kug goes with Wally to David’s house disguised as a dog and, despite that, blurts out that he’s his dad immediately. Well, he tries to. The Umbral Arcana stops him, unfortunately.

"I lick my son’s face.” KUUUUG.

Sophie showing up with a raw goose and hellish rebuking it is so metal and it’s a shame no one got to appreciate it.

Me when Sophie’s Mom changes into black top in solidarity for Sophie’s mourning: F EVERY OTHER NON-SOPHIE BICICLETA. I RESPECT YOU.

Kingston is hustling very hard to get his man Pete a job which is a very Kingston move. That’s how guys like that show affection.

Didn’t mention it before but Kingston’s parents and Mom specifically adopting Pete is very cute.

Sidenote: Idk what 7 was talking about Pete trying to stay low profile. He wears a cowboy hat (now a ZEBRA STRIPED one, courtesy of Kingston). I think the subtlety train has sailed my guy.

Esther shows up at the firehouse, carrying presents for her mom and grandma and looking for Ricky. The says that she’s kinda dealing with something and it feels good to be around him (beat) magically speaking. Sure. I’m gonna keep my Hercules soundtrack on hand just in case anyway.

I think Ricky is the only person who, with no pretense, could give his crush a sexy calendar featuring him.

Anyway, turns out Esther’s mom and grandma are the furies of Tompkins Square and she’s fated to join them or something.

Esther causally: I defy you, I defy the prophecy.

The fury thing would explain why Esther’s mom would have cursed Kug. They are famously magical punishers.

Ricky is a magically certified Good Boy but we been knew.

Zac’s restraint to respect Esther’s personal boundaries in lieu of getting a lore drop to stay true to Ricky’s character is amazing. Mad props.

So we slide over to Misty’s Christmas party which Stephen Sondhein is attending and him having a character card kinda killed me.

There’s a post on tumblr somewhere about playing faerie incapability for impoliteness against a vampires need to be invited in and that’s what I thought about when Moses and his vamp friends showed up at Misty’s house.

Robert tries to talk Misty into striking a deal with him for protection from Titania. She’s very much not having it.

“You know Robert, I love a comedy and I love a farce. I’d like to remind you of who it is that started this and it’s not me and it’s not my friends but I can assure you Robert Moses that we will be the ones to end it if you do not. Do you understand me?” Damn. That’s a mic drop from Misty.

[As I’m editing this, I’m realizing I somehow lost a BIG chunk of text. I’m not gonna write it all up again but the Cliffnotes are as follows:

Between the Solstice and Christmas, the gang goes Grand Central Station to see the clockwork gnomes that live there because trouble is apparently afoot. Some size changing nonsense happens and Pete shoots a dog (with mini bullets, the dog is fine). Lou is enchanted even though Kingston is not (a common theme with him). Ally and Emily are on the same nonsense wavelength (as usual).

There are dope magical dragon trains under Grand Central Station that go to the shadow realm which is a place I’d like to know about. Kingston has never seen these trains before even though you’d really think he would have.

Murph says Gnome Rights which is wild if you know what Naddpod is like.

Anyway, the high priestess of the gnomes passed out the other day and they figure out it was due to pixie magic which is suspicious. They also know they pixies have access to a “time stone” which leads me to believe that it’s Brennan and not Aguefort who thinks that Chronomancy is the most powerful magic of all.

Sophie and Jackson go to Dale’s grave on Christmas. Jackson explains that the Order of the Concrete Fist is basically a literal school of hard knocks. A counterbalance to all the reach for the stars dreaminess that comes with NYC.

Dale was their chosen one who was supposed to stop the monastery from falling when some unspecified badness crossed over to this side, but when he went to the place where he was supposed to get guidance, there was no one there (clearly tying in to what Dale said to Sophie last time they talked. I wonder what she needs to get to the top of? Empire State maybe?).

Watching Murph watching Emily, his real life spouse, play at grief for her fictional husband and do some truly insane things is so funny because you can clearly see him thinking, “I am married to this woman,” which, in fairness, is probably the main thing he’s thinking when he’s playing D&D with Emily.

I’m probably missing something but that’s all I remember. Back to post-Christmas!]

So it’s opening night at Misty’s show and, somehow, Ricky’s first show ever.

I love that Don Confetti is there because of Siobhan’s offhanded comment for a handful of eps ago about him being a supporter of the arts.

Anyway, everything is going great until the second act when Titania busts in through the mirror which is *not* is storage as Misty requested but on stage. It’s a theater fight, y'all! And not the West Side Story kind although if that doesn’t come up I will be very surprised.

“Let’s kill Titania!” –Misty in the promo

Just going straight to 11, huh Misty?

See y'all then!

#dimension 20 #the unsleeping city #d20 #asks #kickmuncher3

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isthisthingeven0n · 6 years

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arising suspicions : d.d

this was 100% adorable and is 100% fluff. I combined this request from earlier today with one from a few days ago, so I hope you enjoy :) (ya’ll wanted more david as a dad, so you got what you wished for)

Sitting on the toilet seat I stare directly at the stick in complete shock. “Fuck.” I mumble to myself as the results tell me what I had anticipated all along. I’m pregnant.

I hear a small knock on the door and David pops his head through the wooden panels. “Are you alright?” He nervously asks as he licks his lips before kneeling down in front of me, just about keeping the results out of his view. “Well?” A small smile forms on his face that eases my nerves.

Sighing I close my eyes as I turn it around, showing it to him and hearing the room fall silent. “I’m pregnant.” I state with little emotion as they all swirl around my brain, all lost in the sea of what is happening.

Hesitantly I lift my head up and open my eyes. As I see his face, a bright smile across his face I let out a watery laugh, covering my mouth before I choke a sob. David shuffles closer and takes the pregnancy test in his fingertips. “We’re pregnant, hi baby.” He places his hand on my stomach, rubbing circles delicately on my skin. “Oh my god.” He sniffs and wipes his eyes. “We’re going to be parents.” He half laughs as we both sit there in complete shock and awe of what the future will hold.

It’s been a few weeks since we found out I’m pregnant, but we don’t want anyone finding out just yet. We know what’ll happen if they find out, plus David will want to make it into some elaborate video like Josh did. Not that I can blame him, this is pretty big news.

“So, what’re you thinking of for today?” Scott asks all of us as we all sit around.

I glance over to David who brings me closer to him as I lie on my back, the pregnancy symptoms have already been getting progressively worse.

Shrugging my shoulders the others start suggesting ideas. “How about we use the paintball gun and play some game?” Zane suggests as he reaches down and picks it up.

He spins it around, pointing it at all of us and David defensively stands up and blocks Zane from my view. “Outside only guys.” David sternly states and I catch Carly and Kristen share a look.

“Since when?” Jonah chimes in and I reach out and pull David’s sleeve and shake my head.

“No worries guys. David’s not been sleeping great.” I explain as I try to get off of the sofa effortlessly despite the aching in my back. “Come on Zane, you can have your fun outside.” I pat his back as I take the gun from his grip and we all walk outside.

Everyone starts filming for their vlogs as Scott suggests a Christmas themed version of a game they played ages ago. This time they’d be dressed as Elves whilst David would be Santa. The Elves would have to get items into the bucket and once they did Santa would stop gifting the Elves their ‘presents.’

I sat outside with Carly and Erin whilst they got ready. “How come you’re not being our sexy Mrs Claus, eh?” Erin nudges me and I laugh lightly.

“Trust me I’m not feeling that sexy these days.” I state, my mind casting back to violently vomiting most mornings whilst David rubs my back and force feeds me crackers to help.

The doors open and we see the boys all filing out. I hold up David’s camera, knowing he’ll appreciate these clips for some slow mo action shots later when it comes to editing.

All of them follow behind David who holds the paintball gun up high. For now Scott, Todd, Jonah and Zane keep their heads up high as they carry Santa sacks full of random objects.

“You ready boys?” Carly calls out as they all take their positions around the garden.

They make some nervous noises as David stands in the middle of the garden with a blindfold around the top of his head. “You might wanna go inside baby.” He mumbles to me and I shake my head.

“I’ll stand right next to you, or behind you. I won’t be in the firing line that way.” I say, trying not to cause any alarm as to why I’m not around. “Everythings fine.” I whisper to him as I see the concern arising in his eyes.

Shrugging his shoulders he lowers the blindfold and I tighten it for him before standing directly behind him.

And then the madness commences.

A mixture of screams and swears sound from the four of them as their Elf outfits slowly become spotted with orange and regret from willingly signing up for the game.

Zane pushes Toddy towards the pool as he quickly runs up the bucket and drops in a Dildo before lifting his arms up proudly. “I did it baby!” He shouts and David quickly turns, firing directly at him. “Fuck you David!” He screams out in pain before heading inside and standing behind the glass.

Soon after the others slowly file out or find a hiding spot, and the game comes to a close.

David lifts the blindfold up and has a bright smile on his face. “How’d I do?” He excitedly asks as the guys all emerge and stand in a line. “Holy shit.” David comments as the guys reveal the puncture wounds and forming bruises on their skin.

“You know David if I were pregnant a shot here would’ve killed the baby.” Toddy comments and I feel a shiver go through my spine.

I glance down and see David’s fists clenching, and I quickly intervene. “Best get outta the elf costumes if you hope to return them or get the paint out?” I suggest and they all murmur in agreement.

David drops the gun and turns to face me. “Imagine if that was you though? I don’t think it’s safe for you to be around whilst these kind of pranks are happening, Y/n.” He takes me in his arms and hugs me tightly.

Closing my eyes I sigh. “I can fend for myself Dav-”

Over the top of my voice, I hear a loud laugh coming from towards the back door. “Oh revenge is sweet, Dobrik.”

Quickly I turn my head and suddenly I feel an intense pain spreading through my left thigh. “MOTHERFUCKER!” I scream loudly as David grips onto me as I yell. “Zane?!” I glare over to him and sit down on the ground, seeing a large splatter of Orange drip down my leg.

As I lift my head up I see David storming over to Zane, his fists clenched tightly. “Zane what the fuck?” David angrily states as he shoves Zane and he drops the paintball gun.

I force myself to stand and Scotty runs over, helping me to my feet. “David! I’m fine.” I yell, but I can tell he’s not listening.

“Come on dude, I didn’t mean to hit Y/n, I was aiming for you.” Zane says, a nervous laugh sounding from him as he looks around at all of us, wondering if this is some prank.

“No, I don’t think it’s funny dude. Get the fuck out of here. She could’ve been seriously hurt!” He shouts right in Zane’s face and I run over, pulling him away from Zane.

“Dave,” I take a hold of his face, resting my hands on his cheeks. “we’re fine.” I say in a hushed tone and his fists ease as does his jaw. “We’re all okay, it was an accident.” I tell him and he weakly nods.

“Wait, we’re fine?” Kristen calls out and I silently swear to myself. “Wait, no.” She starts, unable to finish her sentence.

Turning around I look at all of them. Kristen and Scott share a look and his mouth drops open. “Holy fuck.” He laughs. “You’re pregnant?” He states and the others all look at me blankly.

“No she’s not.” Toddy states and looks at the two of us. “No, you can’t be.”

I glance up at David who looks down at me. “Yeah, we’re having a baby.” He says sweetly as he rests his hand on my stomach. “And no, none of you get dibs on being Godparents or having them named after you!”

I quietly laugh as they all start bombarding us with questions, giving name suggestions and planning ahead. “Guess this is it now?” I ask David who nods, a big grin on his face.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

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selfcallednowhere · 5 years

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March 6, 2018, Eugene, OR

Pictures

This was my first time going to a show at this venue, which is to be expected since it was my first time being in Eugene at all. It was all right--smallish, which can be nice.

The initial banter when they first came on stage was also about the venue. Flans said that because they've been touring for 30+ years he always has trepidation when saying they've never played somewhere before, but he was pretty sure they'd never played here before. He said they had played in Eugene before, but the last time they did they were touring in an Econoline van. He said they did a college show and were "doing eightballs of cocaine and heroin."

They once again opened with "Pencil Rain," followed by "I Palindrome I," both of which were cool to see again. Then John picked up the contra-alto clarinet, and Flans said they wanted to remind people that the show was going to be featuring it. John: "'Remind' is a strong word. Notify." Then Flans informed us that it was not the contra-alto clarinet that could be seen on signs put up by the local high school saying one was missing.

JF: We don't even know that custodian! JL: I did take one of the pull-tabs with the phone number to say that I don't know where it went.

Then Flans said the thing again about how they'd be playing two sets, and we should treat them like an opener and hold our applause till the second set. "Talk to your friends about how we're like They Might Be Giants but not as good."

Then he said the thing he also keeps saying that makes me so sad about how they'd be playing new songs and we should just pretend we like them. Then he said Joe Franklin had told them "It's all about sincerity, and if you can fake that, you can do anything." Then they played "All Time What" and then "Damn Good Times" (both fantastic as per usual).

Then they were starting to play "James K. Polk," and John was talking during the intro. He said that on the album he mispronounced the name of this state. "But I'm here to make amends. That's why we're here." He pronounced it correctly as he sang (like he normally does, so it was only notable because of him calling attention to it) and people cheered. Afterwards Flans said, "Well played. They were buying it." John said again that he said it wrong on the album, and then said it the incorrect way, and people booed. "Yes, let's let the dirty laundry air." Flans said that when people ask them how to get to Houston St. (pronouncing it like the name of my hometown and not the name of the street in Manhattan) they just tell them where it is, and John said they give them directions to Texas. Then Flans said that's a New York joke that doesn't really work here.

Flans asked John how his day was, and he said he went to a coffee shop that he couldn't remember the name of. Flans said he went to a bagel shop where the wifi password was "bagelbagelbagel," and John said he would've guessed only two "bagel"s. Then Flans said he'd tried to go to some shoe store called Shoeaholic but he got there just as they were closing, and that he'd wanted to beg them to let him in by telling them "I've hit my rock bottom." John: "I think you've bought enough shoes, John Flansburgh."

Then Flans said they were about to play two songs from their new album, and that before the show they'd been "doing shots of truth serum" and so he could tell us that it's "so much better than it has to be." Then he said this is their 20th album, and when they were making their 18th they'd looked at the list of other bands' 18th albums on Wikipedia and found a surprising number of good ones, but he thinks this one stand alone as the only quality 20th album.

The two new songs they played were "Mrs. Bluebeard" and "I Left My Body," both of which were great (I suppose at this point I don't even need to note the fact that John did mess up the lyrics on the former though).

After "Your Racist Friend," Flans said that he wants to "dedicate my performance to the people standing directly next to my amp. I have a lot of dreams, and one of my dreams is to never have to stand directly next to my amp. I don't want to leave a permanent memory on your left ear. And I noticed you were having a conversation, which seems impossible. I'm making a dedication to long-term hearing loss."

Then Flans was introducing Curt, who was standing at the back of the stage. John said it makes him feel self-conscious when people are standing behind him, cos it feels like they're looking at his hands as he plays his keyboard. "Am I folding my thumb under the right way? Is my total ignorance of technique that obvious? The answer is yes." (Awwwww John, I'm sure you're fine darling!)

Next they played "Turn Around," YES YES YES. There was some quality JL spazziness adding to the usual amazingness of the song.

Next they did "Spy." During the part where they were just playing the song normally (before the improv section I mean) John kept lifting one arm up into the air after he played something--I'm not really sure why, but it was cool. He played the "Here Comes Santa Claus" sample during the improv part when he was conducting again.

Afterwards, Flans was complimenting how well we did the part of the song where he directed us to cheer. "That was nimble. Sometimes it's like directing a dinosaur in hospice. That was delicious."

Flans introduced "When the Lights Come On" by saying it's "relentless," which is a good description. He also reminded us that "Dan Miller's fingers never leave his hands." The song was rockin' and terrific as usual.

Afterwards, people were smoking pot (annoying me as it always does, not because I have any problem with pot in itself but I just hate the smell). Flans: "The pot smell begins. And once the pot smell begins it will never end." He said it smelled like cheap pot, and "this is the HiFi. There are standards." Then he told that one story that's immortalized in the one TMBG Unlimited recording, about how there was a time when they kept smelling cheap pot at their shows but then one member of their crew left and they suddenly stopped smelling it.

Then he said that it reminded him of the next song, and he wanted John to introduce it. He asked John something about making a Laugh-In reference and John said he didn't want to. Then he said that they're older than the rest of the band and they've gotten into fights with them about whether Laugh-In was funny, and that it's like being a parent and defending something you don't really believe. Flans said that it was like saying George W. Bush wasn't really that bad, and that he was, it was just easy to forget, like a scar on your hand is easy to forget. Then John said that he did remember the Laugh-In reference he was supposed to make. Flans: "Jesus christ! Show business professional!" John said he was just confused from all the pot smoke, and he was struggling to find oxygen molecules. Then he said the next song was from a TV show that was on before Laugh-In. The song was "The Mesopotamians" (as expected, since I'd seen him do this joke before).

Before they played "This Microphone," Flans was talking about the percussion thing Marty plays during it that looks like an orange. He said that it was a real orange, and Marty had lanced it with a drumstick and replaced the pulp with magic beads.

Afterwards Flans said that for being a sold-out show in a small venue it was surprisingly comfortable, and that usually at this point in such a show they were puddles on the floor begging for the A/C. John said some people want to see that, and Flans said they were trying to change their reputation of just being puddles.

They once again closed out the first set with "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal" into "Birdhouse in Your Soul." TOO MUCH ROCKIN'. I CAN'T HANDLE IT. No seriously it is an amazing way for them to end the set, but I'm not kidding about all the excited boppin' around and really really enthusiastic singing along I can't stop myself from doing on both those songs having an intense physical effect on me. I guess I should just be grateful I then got the whole between-sets break to recover.

So then after the break they came back for the Quiet Storm, opening with the contra-alto version of "Older" as per usual. Afterwards, Flans said that even though this was an acoustic set Marty had "opted in with the limitless noise potential of the electronic drums." Then he made him play whatever that bit of that Phil Collins song he keeps making him play is.

After that they played "I Like Fun," then Flans started to introduce "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too." He said the hostility of the song is "comforting," because it means people being that way now isn't new, and that things suck right now, but they will get better.

Before "Shoehorn with Teeth," Flans said that Marty was "abandoning his electronic drums manifesto of the last five minutes and returning to his vaudeville roots." He also said that the bell Marty was playing came from the same high school that had put up the signs for the missing contra-alto clarinet.

Then something really funny happened. Flans said John should move over cos he wasn't in the light enough (which he wasn't). John said it's hard to light him when he has his accordion on, because it creates shadows on him. Flans: "The accordion is like Dracula." Then some girl (not me, I swear!) yelled "IT'S SEXY" and John said "No it isn't," which was the part that amused the hell out of me because of course he was DEAD WRONG. Then he said "But thank you for saying that" but did not exactly seem sincere--I think he was rather uncomfortable honestly so that made me feel bad for him, but yeh I was still really amused. But I did also have this feeling of wishing it hadn't happened at a show I was at because I figured anyone who knew about it and knew I was there would figure it was me and I would never do that (I had the same feeling a time I was at a different show and some girl threw her bra at him).

So then they played "A Self Called Nowhere" and y'know, the usual--really really intense and emotional for me, the best part of the show, etc etc.

Flans introduced "How Can I Sing Like a Girl?" by saying it was "about being in chorus."

Next they did "Istanbul." During the crazy jam part at the end, John spent some time playing (using the word "playing" loosely here) his keyboard with both his fists and also with both his hands entirely vertical.

Flans introduced "Bills, Bills, Bills" by explaining how the AV Club Undercover thing works. He said that they'd given them a list of songs "that should never be recorded or even talked about again." He said they'd first done "Tubthumping" but they weren't going to play that tonight. "It's too exciting. It's too exciting for our crew. It makes them burst into tears." Then he said after that they'd covered a Destiny's Child song, which forced them to grapple with the fact that Destiny's Child is a much more popular band than they are. He said they'd considered becoming a band whose entire act was just performing this one single Destiny's Child cover. Then he said they were going to keep performing this song both cos they'd taken the trouble to memorize it and cos it always spreads joy.

So they played that one and then "Particle Man." Then:

JL: We spent our formative years in the greater Boston area. JF: I don't know if you've ever played lacrosse. I've had lacrosse played at me. JL: You've been played by lacrosse. JF: Lacrosse is like it's the end of days and civilization has broken down, and there's still an organized way of killing people. That's basically what lacrosse is like. JL: That's basically what the greater Boston area is like.

So then they of course played "Wicked Little Critta" [insert swooning over all the video closeups of John's hands on the Kaoss Pad and his keyboard here], then "New York City." Afterwards, some guy yelled "THEY MUST BE GIANTS!" Flans was amused--he repeated it and thanked him for saying it. Then he said that sometimes when shows are ending they're getting ready to leave and they'll hear the owner of the club come over the PA and ask everyone to give another hand for "Ain't They Giants," and they realize he cares less than anyone else there.

They closed the main set with a run of familiar but still always very fun songs: "Number Three," "Twisting," and "Doctor Worm."

When they came back for the first encore, John said they'd come back sooner than it had taken them this time. Then he said that next they were going to play a quiet song, and it was "inappropriate because everyone is all hopped up." The song they played was "Dead," which I was most certainly not going to complain about seeing, quiet or not!

I was hoping they were going to play "Don't Let's Start" next since that was the second encore song for almost all the shows I'd seen so far, but instead it was "Fingertips," which I know is always a big hit live, I've just seen it many, many more times than I've seen "Don't Let's Start" so yeh not as exciting for me at this point.

They closed the show with "The Guitar," which is definitely one of the all-time best show closers!

So yeh great show overall, and I had some personal excitement afterwards too--Marty gave me a setlist!!! This was my first time managing to snag one in an exceptionally long time. I also managed to get the show poster that had been hanging in the venue's front window, which also rarely happens and featured one of the new promo pictures I'm quite fond of, so that was also thrilling!

The all-important JL wardrobe report: For the first set he was wearing the same black long-sleeved shirt he wore the previous two nights (he always wears the same things over and over, but the same shirt three nights in a row is a bit much even for him), and then for the second set he was wearing that red-and-blue stripey t-shirt he really loves, which made me happy because I really love it too and think it looks fantastic on him.

#tmbg #show reviews

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

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Superman: Year One: Book Two

John Romita Jr finally giving up and sending this cover as finished: "Maybe all the fucking teeth will distract from Superman's leg."

No razor made by humans can cut Superman's hair! I bet he had to will his hair to fall out as they attempted to cut it.

The Navy officers pick Clark to train as a sniper because Clark doesn't know how to not be perfect at everything he does. I guess when Pa told him not to show off or to stand out, Clark wasn't really listening. But now that he's in the Navy, I guess he's contractually obligated to kill loads and loads of non-Americans with his super abilities. I don't get this whole "Clark Kent joins the Navy" story arc. At first, I thought it was a way for Clark to meet Aquaman. Now I just think it's a way for Miller to showcase his weird sea-fucking kink.

If you've ever been to the ocean with Frank Miller, you've swam in his jizz.

I could never find the ocean sexy. The most terrifying experience I've ever had was getting caught on a boogie board out past the breakers of the Pacific after the sun went down. I had to constantly stop myself considering what might be lurking under the black mirrored surface of the ocean as I tried to keep calm and paddle back towards the lights of Santa Cruz. I was out there with my buddy Larry who killed himself earlier this year. My theory is that he never could get that nightmare experience out of his head. Or maybe it was depression. Sure, you're probably putting your money on depression. That's exactly something somebody who never floated on the ocean in the darkness of night would do. Clark notices mermaids swimming out in the ocean and one of his officers is all, "Yeah, boy. Mermaids! Sometimes guys try to fuck 'em but then they drown and we report them lost at sea and nobody asks no questions. You got me?!" And Clark is all, "Yes, sir! Don't try to fuck the mermaids, sir!" Clark decides that since he isn't allowed to fuck the mermaids, he should head into town and start a bar brawl. Clark meets a woman who's working on publishing a story about Navy guys who hang out in bars and defend women from civilians who get too handsy with female reporters. Clark once again finds himself overwhelmingly horny. Oh, not for the woman! But for the idea of being a reporter! He's just too young to realize that he's not into woman; he's into bylines and columns and exposés. But before he can fuck a newspaper, Clark blocks a punch some jerk throws at him, breaking the guy's arm (just like that fight he got in high school! Is this good writing where we see echoes of the character's past history or bad writing where the writer just can't think of new plot points? Who can tell?!), and starting an all out brawl. He walks the reporter home afterward, dreaming about that black ink coming off on his cock and balls. The next day, the training officer threatens to shoot him for causing trouble. Seems like an appropriate response. I guess Clark is learning that the military doesn't keep anybody safe. It's just a violent place where young people with no real hope of succeeding in civilian life go to gain instant meaning and heroic praise from others. That's like the opposite of journalism where young people with lofty ideals about changing the world by exposing truth and justice go to never actually do that and instead just parrot the lies told them by politicians because they don't understand the difference between being impartial and simply being a loudspeaker for misinformation. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. Frank Miller has me so confused. I mean, Clark Kent is in the Navy! What the fuck is going on in Superman's First Year?! Wait. This is all happening in just one year? It's because Superman grows super fast under a yellow sun, right? After being treated like shit by his commanding officer, Clark decides to go fuck some mermaids. That'll show him!

Just another reason why Aquaman is a redundant piece of Justice League shit.

Why did DC decide to call this comic book "Superman: Year One"? I would have called it "Frank Miller's Stupid Version of Superman by Frank Miller." Underwater, Clark Kent meets Lori Lemaris. She leads him back to Atlantis where an experimental submarine has crashed into the city. Also, I don't know if this will soon be an important plot point but Clark Kent is suddenly wearing a huge watch on his left wrist. Up until the moment he dives in the ocean, Clark has never worn a watch in this series. How else is he going to be dealing with Atlantis's problems when he'll suddenly look at his wrist and say, "Jeezly crow! I've got to get back to base! I'll be back tomorrow night to fuck more mermaids! And help rebuild if I'm not too sleepy afterward"?

"The smell of fish poontang washes across Clark's senses, threatening to remove him from Atlantis and plop him down in Boner City."

What kind of an editor takes a look at the previous panel and doesn't ask, "Why, out of nowhere, are you discussing Clark's ability to stifle his sense of smell to keep from being distracted in a panel that depicts Lori Lemaris's ass?" It's a fair question. Clark looks at his watch and thinks, "Jeezly Crow! I've only got a few hours before bugle! I guess I can help rebuild Atlantis before then!" Once again, Clark's reward for saving a woman in trouble is sex with that woman. This might be a problematic message. Clark saves Lana from violent men. Clark bangs Lana. Clark saves the reporter from violent men. Clark bangs the reporter. Clark saves Lori Lemaris's ruined city from violent men and their submarines. Clark bangs Lori. I always suspected that sex was an expected reward for acting chivalrous! Thanks, Frank Miller, for justifying all the times I called a woman a bitch because she wouldn't sleep with me after I saved her by beating up a guy that had just called her a bitch! This is the Internet so I should probably explain that the previous sentence was a satirical critique of Miller's problematic message. I mean, sure, impressing a potential sexual partner is a good way to get that person interested in becoming your sexual partner! So the Lori Lemaris plea for Clark to fuck her hard after he helps isn't the worst depiction of a relationship. But having two other women saved by Clark from brutes who are threatening non-consensual sex reward Clark with sex is the worst depiction of a relationship. Also, the story doesn't explicitly state that Clark and the journalist from the bar have sex. But I can read between the panel breaks! A critical review aside: Frank Miller's narration in this series is confusing. Sometimes it's in third person and then it flips over to first person without the current narrative thought changing at all. It reads as sloppy, probably because it is sloppy. Clark and his fellow Navy SEAL recruits go on an emergency mission to kill some pirates. Clark watches a bunch of pirates get shot in the head but he doesn't pull the trigger so nobody can accuse him of having killed a man. In fact, he saves a bunch of men by holding a grenade in his hands as it blows. But because he refused to kill on command, he's discharged from the Navy. I guess the American military doesn't have time for people who won't follow an order to murder. Before Clark leaves the Navy, his commanding officer decides to give him some good advice about using his talents to help put fires out instead of causing more. Odd advice coming from a guy so hell bent on threatening to kill Clark and screaming at Clark to kill everybody he meets. I guess he's a complex character! After Clark leaves the Navy, he walks into the ocean to battle Poseidon for the hand of his daughter, Lori. Poseidon doesn't want Clark fucking his daughter because he wants to fuck his daughter. That's not something I made up the way I make up so many other things. Frank Miller made that bit up. I don't know why. Couldn't Poseidon have just not wanted his daughter marrying a non-Atlantean instead of making it about Poseidon wanting to be the only person fucking his daughter? Luckily Clark defeats Poseidon's Krakens so no father fucks their own daughter in this series, no matter how much I bet Frank Miller's original script read, "Poseidon fucks his daughter. A lot. Over and over. Oh boy! What a hit this comic is going to be!" In the end, Poseidon leaves the throne to pout and plot his revenge against Clark and the entire surface world. Clark and Lori settle down to rule Atlantis for as long as it takes me to read the third and final issue where, I'm certain, Clark will leave Lori to pursue his true love: writing opinion pieces about Superman for the Daily Planet. Superman: Year One: Book Two Rating: The first issue wasn't so bad that I didn't not want to read the second issue. But this issue was so terrible that I'm not sure I'll have the patience to write about the third issue. If I never post a review of the Book Three, it's because I just couldn't bare to think more than superficially about Frank Miller's writing. Also I might have simply thrown myself off of a building because John Romita Jr's art was so fucking terrible.

#Superman #Year One #John Romita Jr #Frank Miller #Black Label #DC Comics #dc black label

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sharperthewriter · 5 years

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How the Rockwaller Stole Christmas (1/2)

"How the Rockwaller Stole Christmas" For the first of the two winter poems That you're reading away or at your home Just to let everyone know, the entire selection (including the intro) is in rhyme This is to save everyone, especially Whitem, a whole lot of time It is for his 10th Winter Writing Contest, so it'll be brief I promise that I won't take any Fannies awards for this, or else I'd be a thief It features Bonnie in such a grumpy Grinchy feeling But Junior gives her an idea that is worth...how should I say...stealing Let's see how it goes Will they get away scot-free or get caught? Who knows. The poem is rated T As you can see For some minor swear words (but including a gesture that is obscene) So it is why is it suitable for those over the age of 13. And humor that is crude And for the snark in Bonnie's 'Queen B' attitude Kim Possible is created by Schooley and McCorkle and (c) by Disney This is to (hopefully) prevent the Mouse's lawyers from getting all in a suing tizzy. And as for the Seuss Estate, there will be no feelings of ill will or resentment. For this very poem is parody and satire, and fair use, covered by the First Amendment. So without further ado, Here is this treat of a poem, especially for the reader...which is you.

"How the Rockwaller Stole Christmas" (PART I)

This is the time of year A time of happiness and joy Where there is the spreading of good and cheer For almost every Middletonian girl and boy

As stated before, almost every young citizen Down in Middleton Liked Christmas a lot. But Bonnie Rockwaller, who lived just next door to the Possibles, did NOT!!

She hated how the Possibles celebrated Christmas in their house Giving a low growl that would even frighten a small mouse Every single day of the accursed Christmas season. If you are wondering to try To ask the question of why She does have her reasons.

And no, it wasn't because her head wasn't screwed on right Or that her Country Club Banana boots were too tight Or that a probable main reason of all Could be that her heart was three sizes too small

No, all she had to do was go back years past Of how past Christmases at the Rockwallers sucked when she was a young lass. From the hand-me-downs of her sisters to the infamous photo of her crying in Santa's lap Those winter "memories", she knew, would be crap The only bright spot of her Christmases, if it even would bother Would be the gifts given to her from Donald Rockwaller aka her father But, alas, this year, her dad's gift would be proven fruitless, of course For the Rockwallers are (currently) going through a very tough divorce.

And then there was the part where, a few years ago if one can gleam Bonnie starred as an angel in a Nativity scene They sang songs such as "Silent Night", "Joy to the World" and similar sounds Only problem was that said Nativity scene was played on courthouse grounds Some politically-correct people in the audience pointed out, if they can relate, That this was a blatant violation of the separation of church and state. The Queen, who had enjoyed this, flew in a rage On the Nativity scene stage She shocked the audience, her parents, and her fellow singers, By giving the politically-correct people two middle fingers

So she stared there on Christmas Eve from her bedroom window, Hating the Possibles all the while Middleton was covered in record-setting snow. From the lighted windows of their house, Kim was hanging a mistletoe wreath, Just in case Ron came, she can kiss him from beneath.

Bonnie couldn't believe That today was indeed Christmas Eve She continued to growl, her fingers continued drumming "I MUST find a way to prevent the Possible Christmas from coming!" She stood there, brooding and stewed

For tomorrow, she knew... (PART II) All the Possible girls and boys Yes, this includes Ron and Rufus They would all rush for their gadgets and toys. Including, as Bonnie called him, the blonde-haired doofus. She would be rattled and awakened by all the NOISE, NOISE, NOISE!!! All the NOISE!!! NOISE!!! NOISE!!! That was one thing she hated while trying to sleep in her bed On every single Christmas Day The continuing screaming sounds of video games being played repeatedly in her head Unfortunately for her, it had always been this way.

She'll (that being Kim) call and beep Wade on the new Kimmunicator The Tweebs would fly around with their drone, armed with an incinerator Joss would buck around with her large mechanical horse, making bucking sounds Cousin Larry would do roleplay while playing the latest version of Everlot, a quest to be found Kim will also blare the rare $50 Britina CD on her CD player as if she captured the Holy Grail Bonnie had been demanding said CD from her mother all month long...but to no avail. And as of Ron and Rufus, he will play noisy games to get that high score. Like the latest installment of the M-rated gorefest known as Zombie Mayhem IV. Oh...the Queen hated that that noise a plenty When Ron plays it for hours on end on his PSX720.

To her, this was no fair. The comparison of gifts really almost made her tear out her brunette hair. She even tried to get her dad, whom was the chief of police, to stop the squeaks and squeals While the Possibles raced around on ATVs with 4 wheels. Alas, it was no use for her to stop this noise torture from Hell. Bonnie felt as if her house was one big jail cell.

As if this were another reason for her to hate on the Possible's holiday moods, to be quite frank There was Ron turning up the volume, watching "The Six Tasks of Snowman Hank" Oh, if only the Queen had earplugs A type that would drown out the warm clink of Possible cocoa-moo mugs

And then the Possibles, young and old Will then all sit down to a feast And they all feast, feast, FEAST!!! The food from their cabinets and fridge flowed like never-ending gold They devour a large Christmas turkey, which was about as big as a 10-pound Beast Oh, a Christmas Turkey Beast is a feast Bonnie couldn't stand in the very least. In the sweets department, there were the famous lemon squares by her Nana But all Bonnie got was after the Rockwaller Xmas Dinner was a rotten banana.

And then, the Possibles do something that the Queen hated most of all Every Possible in the Possible house, the tall and small. Will stand close hand in hand With Christmas Bells on their phone apps constantly ringing And the Possibles, standing on their property land... ...they start SINGING!!! And they'll SING, SING, SING!!!!!! That is what will make her the most feral When the Possibles sing their Christmas carols.

And the more Bonnie thought of the Possible-Christmas sing.... ...The more the Queen thought!

She must stop this whole entire thing. "Why, for five years, I've put up with it now!"

"I HAVE to stop the Possible's Christmas from coming....but how?"

(PART III) As she continued to stare outside Bonnie then heard two taps on her door The figure came from the hallway, not making an attempt to hide It was only her rich boyfriend, Senor Senior Junior, nothing more. Junior had come to his first Rockwaller Christmas, being that he was in town This was an attempt by Veronica to try to turn her daughter's frown upside-down Like Bonnie, his heart was three sizes too small. But it was his brain that was tiny, most of all.

"Oh hey, my rich hottie. Wonder why you're doing here in my place!"

Bonnie said with a slight smile on her face. She waited on what her dim BF was trying to say "Hey, my love." Junior replied, "I came here for the food and any games that you usually play."

Bonnie scoffed, "Junior, I know that this is your first time, and you're trying But I suspect that you may be a be a bit...lying.

And I like that," she continued with a salacious grin. For she knew Junior was loaded, a fact she knew he was an instant win. Junior said, "My love, I can bring you anything this year, a fact that my father had taught I can even buy you a multi-million-dollar yacht."

Bonnie sighed, fading away from her smile "Junior, that is all well and good, and I can see..." She continued to stare outside the window for a little while "...but I got issues with the Possibles' Christmas continuing to mock me."

"Today is Christmas Eve, in case if you're wondering Come tumi, I will constantly be irritated by their noises, and that wannabe, I am still trying to think on what to do...in this case...pondering... I guarantee you, Junior, that she will flaunt her gifts for all the world to see."

Junior then suggested something vile "Why not have me dressed as Santa? Like with the coat and hat" Replied the oft-complaining man-child "I can guarantee you that you can steal their Christmas in a snap."

Then the Queen got an idea. An awful idea. The Queen got a wonderful, awful idea. (PART IV)

"Junior, I think I know a way."

Bonnie replied with the salacious grin "Hear me out on what I have to say!" She knew her plan would be as dirty as sin.

"A month ago, my dad arrested a drunk Santa at a mall He confiscated the belt, fake beard, hat, boots and all." She laughed in her throat. But Junior asked "Did he also get the coat?" "Oh yes, he did get that well..." Bonnie remembered. For she saw that incident in late-November.

Junior still questioned "But where can we get that suit in such short time?" "And will it fit this sexy booty of mine?" Bonnie said with a wide grin, "Junior, the suit's a perfect fit for you. It's in the basement by the way under boxes of old shoes."

"But I don't wanna go down the basement!" Junior whined for a while. That was the least of his problems for the overgrown man-child. Unlike his dad, he wasn't used to doing a life of crime Bonnie scoffed at him, "I'll go first and you'll follow behind." Junior whimpered "I hope that I don't look fat in that coat at all."

While his girlfriend held on to her baggy bib-down overall.

So about 30 minutes later, the evil couple found the Santa clothes Junior took a deep breath and said, "Let's see how this goes." To his amazement, they fit perfectly. Right down to the coat, which covered up his muscular belly. Bonnie grinned, "What a great and vile trick.

With this coat, fake beard, and hat, you look exactly like St. Nick.

Junior rightly pointed out. "Now that I am dressed as a Santa and that's all glad, ..." "...how can we destroy Kim Possible's Christmas so that we can make her sad."

"The solution to that problem is simple." Bonnie said, tenting her fingers "We are going to steal them in the middle of the night, and let nothing linger." "Contractor style trash bags and sacks are the best method to use "They are perfect to take on any trashy weight of abuse. "Once we steal all of the Possibles' gifts "We're going to jam them into a car, 'borrowed' from Cruella De Vil, for a lift."

"And then once we get outside the city limits where the elevation is higher. "We will then burn all their gifts and food in one great big fire."

Junior gasped at the audacity of this crime It would put their relationship to the test If they got caught by Team Possible, it surely would result in their arrest. Then again, he has some added muscle from HenchCo so he had one less thing to whine

"My love, I am ready to do the stealing with you, In case we win, I even reserved a romantic spot on the island for two! Just say the word and I can call upon some strong henchmen It would make our job easier, with me and you times ten."

"Now all I need to complete the look of fear Is that of a reindeer."

Bonnie looked outside her house for any of them, if that is so Unfortunately, a reindeer's habitat did not include Colorado Just as it so happens, her Pit Bull, Queenie, made his way down the stairs He began to drool everywhere His look was so fierce and full of hate Why the Queen named a male dog a female name, shouldn't be for debate But did this stop her? Not at all. She also stared at one of the bucks her father killed, mounted on the basement wall Bonnie simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

She instructed Junior to take a saw, duct tape, and some strong thread And tied a couple of big horns to Queenie's head. Junior asked "So when would be the stealing? What would be a perfect time to enter the Possible's main den?" Bonnie replied "I got a feeling..."

....That we will strike at ten!" "I know of a back alleyway That connects to their house But we have to be quiet, nothing more to say Nothing above the squeak of a mouse.

Agreeing to the plan set, Junior and Bonnie called up HenchCo To send in their stealthiest henchmen for at least ten in tow.

__________________________________________________________________________ (PART V) It was now 10pm as Bonnie, Junior and the henchmen started down Toward the Possible house, whose inhabitants lay snoring within town.

Despite the fact that they were sleeping, they thought they were protected By an exquisite alarm system that would blare a loud sound When an intruder would be found And he/or she would be detected

Their windows were also dark and the doors were locked They made sure an intruder's way out would be blocked All the Possibles, especially Kim, were dreaming without a single care When the villains came to their house on Middleton Square

The whole evil team snuck to the den at exactly 10 o'clock In order to undergo their villainous vice Ooooh....stealing Christmas from the Possibles will be quite nice.... ....That is, if they can get through the lock.

"We need to get through this door without causing the plan any harm... ...If we go in, it would surely set off that alarm. "Miss Rockwaller..." the lead henchman said, "...if it may say to suffice"

"This looks like a job for the HenchCo Automatic Disarming Alarm Device!"

The HADAD did it job It cracked the code for the alarm, rendering it useless But now came the issue of the door, still locked at its knob. "Lucky for me, I brought out my hairpin! Surely, it would let us in."

Unfortunately for her, the pin broke as a makeshift key Grunting, but not deterred, the Queen has a plan B She took out Junior's solid-gold limitless credit card Junior then whispered, as if he were doing a Sonnet from the Immortal Bard "Be careful, my love! That is my rarest card of all It's supposed to be used for the World's Richest Mall!"

This time, though, the hack card did work (Oh, if she only could invent the dance known as the twerk) The villainous team entered quietly into the room To begin Operation Villainous Christmas of Doom Bonnie gave a wide open smirk, so evil and so blatant That it rivaled that of the Prince of Darkness, Satan. She then saw all of the Possible stockings hung in a row. "Their stockings..." she grinned, "...are the first things to go!"

She instructed her dim BF to use a magnet for her first method of attack It loosened the nails and the stockings immediately fell in the sack

#kim possible #ron stoppable #bonnie rockwaller #fanfiction #poetry #satire #parody #christmas

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theythemsam · 5 years

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spn 14x09, liveblog, collected posts (all 20 of them) or as i like to call it: the woman Michael is possessing is very hot and I am very gay and that’s all I remember from this episode, even though I just watched it.

Very Bad Santa: the supernatural version

#the mistletoe is very funny #as is the way the vampire dude cradles the dudes face #so… intimate

Leave Garth alone!

Michael and that other lady there are deffo having victory sexy times when they win

#asdgh uffff??? #like the way they smirked at each other??

Jack having a Forbidden Midnight Snack

#i love my rebellious son!

Don’t sacrifice Garth… Pls.

Ketch is such a braggy bastard, but I love him

#ah yes smol child let me sip by tea pretentiously and then tell you all about my very true only slightly exaggerated acts of heroism

I love how Dean just points after Cas like “Look at this Ketch. You made Cas sad. You bastard.”

Please, can they stop referencing fortnite? That’s all I want… pls…

#its so embarrassing…

We’re finally getting some Sam & Jack time again? Yee haw!

Dean is very much on the revenge train…

#also yikes @ the fact that he does bring up that he now finally understands possession but no word of Gadreel

Jack is so proud to be able to show Sam that he can be a useful hunter and pick a lock

#Sam is so happy too!

And Sam gets knocked in the head. Again.

#can yall stop doing this to my boy

Michael is so hot

#me big lesbian #i know hes terrible but the vessel hes using rn is so good and the actress is amazingggggg

The boy! The special boy!

#thats how I feel about Jack too

Can Michael stop being so scary and hot?

#its a lesbophobia hate crime ive decided

Sam just loves killing I guess?

#also of course he didn’t listen to Dean and Cas… idiot man

Aaand of course the level up isn’t very healthy

Asdfgh they are playing “Freude schöner Götterfunken” (i.e. the hymn of Europe) while TFW 2.0 gets ready to kill Michael and while I guess the song slaps a bit, it just does not fit at all

#the slow mo walk with that song is just the worst

Dean, don’t play with him, kill him!

Ohhhhhhhhh! Oh hell no! Dean is still/again possessed? Yikes.

#uffff I don’t think this makes a lot of sense for possession and the way its been said to work #but hey it sure is buck wild #like seriously if angels can keep a backdoor open then why did Jimmy have to say yes again? Why did Gadreels vessel? Why did Sam? #id have liked another forced yes a lot more #angst time!!! #instead they should have gone with a ‘michael just pretended to be gone’ plot twist

#spn 14x09 #collections #i have a fever and i decided to increase my suffering by binging supernatural #but to my surprise most of those episodes are not that bad?#although idk how much of my enjoyment comes from the fact that i immediately forget what just happened #yicketh #sam liveblogs

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Druck season 2, episode 5 reaction

Sorry this is late! You can blame it partly on the ~polar vortex~ and partly on fatigue.

anyway, who’s ready to solve the great mystery of the ages, Whose Dick Is That

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Hotel Hardenberg

The doorbell is ringing. Mia wakes up in utter contentment, love that little shot of her foot stirring. The apartment seems to have been tidied up and Alexander’s bed on the floor put away.

Alexander has left her Post-Its as a parting gesture, there’s one on her phone with a heart. Charming move! He comments that she snores. Also charming from a certain perspective (that perspective is Mia is adorable). His other Post-Its in the apartment indicate that he’s made her rosehip tea and thank her for staying at Hotel Hardenberg, what a dork.

Mia gets up to go but then strips the bed. A sign of her compulsive neatness and need for order, especially after that order has been broken by staying at Alexander’s? Or just her wanting to be a thoughtful house guest? Or her wanting to erase the evidence of her presence? All three?

On the way out the door, Mia runs into Björn, who describes himself as a friend of Alex. So, probably not his brother. He’d tell her if he were his brother, right? Saying “I’m Alex’s brother” seems more trustworthy for most people than “I’m Alex’s friend.” And he gave his real name, we know that Alex is referring to a Björn in his text messages with Sam, so Björn can’t have been worried about Alex telling Mia about him and Mia knowing who he is.

Björn says he’s here to get something. I sure bet Alex doesn’t know about that! Something shady is happening! He asks her name and Mia gives it to him. Ohhh, dear girl, you don’t know it but that was probably not a good move. (The biggest plot twist would be if Björn was some totally harmless guy that Alexander had wronged, so Björn was trying to avoid him at all costs and Alexander was trying to find him and apologize.) (I 100% do not believe that is the case but damn it would be a trip.)

The clip started with the doorbell ringing so that must have been Björn. Was he trying to see if Alex was home so he could sneak in while the place was empty? Because evidently Björn got into the building fine, and usually there’s better security in those places, and he’s the one who opens the apartment door, not Mia, so he must have had a key. My guess is that Björn is like the sister’s boyfriend/ex/friend who would have had access to the apartment before Alex moved in.

Alexander sent her a text that he’s in London, doing business/real estate stuff for a few days. #ishereallythatrich - Heh, but what are the odds he’s doing something else?

So I bet that’ll come back eventually, that Mia saw Björn entering the apartment, and she didn’t tell Alex right away. But damn, imagine if Mia hadn’t woken up with the doorbell and Björn walked in on her while she was sleeping. Or if she hadn’t left yet and caught him rummaging around through Alexander’s shit.

Clip 2 - Linn the apartment ghost

One week later due to the hiatus, Mia and Alex are texting. When he asks her how she’s doing, she starts to type out a friendly reply but then stops herself, but unfortunately Alex can see when she’s typing

He asks her to go out for a drink, she says she has to study. They have some “banter” and I know they are flirting but it just makes me tired that part of their dynamic is “I won’t go out with you” followed by “Are you sure?” It’s an issue that extends beyond Winterberg, Noorhelm, or any other version of this pairing - men are socialized not to take no for an answer from women, and it’s too prevalent in real life to really get over it in fiction. Like this texting could’ve been about anything else, more banter about them snoring (Mia says he also snores) or her playing the piano or his Post-Its or literally anything other that this no-yes-no dynamic.

It’s exacerbated because it is a case of “Well, she doesn’t really mean no, she does actually like him.” Mia almost seems disappointed when Alex stops texting back. And again, one of my big problems with how Noorhelm and all its equivalents have been portrayed is that we don’t need more stories where a girl keeps saying no when it turns out she kind of means yes. You can’t separate this individual story from the larger cultural trend.

LMAO, Linn announces her presence by loudly slurping on a drink behind Mia She just wanted to see what’s up with Mia and has been standing there a while. This moment is played for laughs but I think it’s also meant to be a reminder that hey, Mia and Alex aren’t in their own little bubble, other people exist and are eventually going to find out that something’s happening with them. It’s almost like Mia has been caught.

New shot during the end titles of Mia in a hoodie looking dramatic. So far we haven’t seen any of these little end scenes in action. Are these just for promo? I think it’s more likely that they’ll happen in a later episode, I just find it interesting that none of them have taken place yet.

Clip 3 - Dicks in the air

Photocopies of boobs and blurred out dick drift by like tumbleweeds with nipples as Mia heads into the school. A girl hands her a boob picture for some reason, as if Mia needed one for personal use.

When she steps into the school, there’s boobs and ass and dick and the middle finger everywhere. We can hear a literal buzz as people observe. Accompanied is graffiti that says Abi Chaker Clan 2019 - 12 Years Family! Lmao, is that a teacher frantically trying to gather up copies on the stairs? You try your hardest, sister.

Kiki steps up and observes, takes a picture of the display. Where have you been, Kiki? Last we saw you, you were breaking Carlos’ heart.

Kiki thinks she recognizes Alex’s penis in the pictures, and Mia is like “get that picture out of my face plz.” Kiki hands it to Mia as she walks away, and Mia can’t resist a glimpse of the dick, which is blurred out for us viewers, by the way. I’m just laughing at the thought of Kiki the dick detective solving this whodunnit. Remember on New Year’s where Mia was kinda “???” about Kiki’s future profession and ended up with influencer? I would say Kiki’s true calling is solving phallic-related crimes and picking dicks out of a lineup except, as we learn later in the episode, she ain’t that great at it after all.

Hanna shows up in an echo of Kiki’s entrance and is like, WTF, we’re in trouble. They see Alexander and Jonas hugging it out in the distance and are like, when did they become friends? So I’m guessing this graduation prank is taking the place of the Yakuza fight, and it’s Alex and Jonas who have the suspicious friendship rather than P-Chris and Isak. I APPROVE. The Yakuza thing has always been out of place IMO, tonally, and I didn’t like how the fight ended up leading to excuses against William smashing a bottle on a dude’s head. This prank is something that’s serious but not so serious that I’d consider it a red flag/dealbreaker against Alexander. It’s also a lot closer to Mia personally, and affects her and basically all the characters - the Yakuza thing felt weirdly disconnected from Noora and the girl squad, only something that involved them because they happened to witness that one fight and some of their friends/boyfriends were involved.

It’s also a replacement for the Penetrators trashing the cabin, and I fully realize that this is hypocritical but I also prefer this somehow even though it’s functionally the same thing, destruction of property. Maybe because again, it’s more connected to the rest of the characters as a plot point.

There’s this rather extravagant shot of someone throwing a bunch of the copies over the banister and they float down around Mia, just a ton of boobs and butts and dick wafting like snowflakes, and it’s so ridiculous that I love it.

Clip 4 - Mia keeps some interesting things in her bag

Leonie’s leading a meeting, again. This time it looks like more of the graduating class, not just the committee. She explains that somebody, probably several people, broke into the school Saturday night and made copies of their …. She trails off and Carlos helpfully supplies the displayed body parts with anatomical precision.

Someone give Leonie’s actress an award for that brief look of disdain at Carlos after he says “You’re welcome” and before she turns away.

Because someone sprayed the Abi Motto on the wall, the school thinks someone from our year did it. Carlos and Jonas call it bullshit, fake news. Just as an aside, I’ve seen the term “fake news” pop up as a joke in SO many films and TV shows recently, including that Kurt Russell sexy Santa movie, and like ... I certainly understand why and I’m not opposed to “ironic” usage, I’m also just aghast that we’re at a point where it’s mainstream, you know? 2019, man.

Anyway, one of the new and expensive copy machines broke from the prank and “copy orgy”. Sam whispers to Amira that they didn’t just make copies - so was there a literal orgy on the copy machine? Or just the weight of people’s asses broke the machine?

Kiki says she thinks it was Alexander, and I thought it was extremely fishy for Kiki to be so quick to blame Alexander, and that maybe she was involved in the prank or even trying to frame him, but obviously that turned out to not be the case. So I think she just wanted him to be guilty so he could get in trouble. And she’s telling Mia, who she thinks will be an ally in blaming Alex.

So now they owe 4500 euros to the school. Either who did it owns up and settles it with their insurance, or the school takes it out of the Abi account. Leonie gives the culprits a chance to reveal themselves. Man, what if Leonie was involved? The perfect crime, the least likely suspect…

Alex smiles over at Mia but that expression fades, Sara waggles some xeroxed breasts at him and he smirks. So those are her boobs, right? She seems pretty proud.

No one confesses to the crime, so Leonie says they have to raise the money again, thanks for nothing. Lmao, Leonie is such a hall monitor type that she’s really growing on me.

There’s some tense music as Mia is exiting the room, and of course Alexander is waiting for her. She walks right by him, to the door. On second thought, she turns around, pretends to rummage in her bag (we see she still has the dick pic so I guess the possibility that it’s Alexander’s is enough for her to keep it around) and then pulls out what she was looking for - a middle finger. That’s so petty, I’m in love with her. She goes out the door and Alexander does not seem pleased.

I mean, to be fair to him, Mia did jump to conclusions right away. (Conclusions that happened to be right, although not about the dick pic.) And I think this was in a way about re-establishing the natural order of things, getting back to “Alexander’s a selfish asshole” territory rather than her liking him, in addition to the whole class being punished. To be fair to her, too ... it’s only recently that he’s shown some decency, and he has a history of doing crappy things.

Alex was texting Mia on Saturday, though, right? About wanting to go out and get a drink with friends? So maybe that will be used to exonerate him, he was busy with other people. (EDIT from the future: Lol, nah, his “drink with friends” turned into the prank, I guess.)

Clip 5 - Team Michi

Mia has handed over the dick pic to Hans for his opinion, I guess? Hans seems to be a penis connoisseur so I understand the sentiment. And his opinion is that it was a “heavy petting orgy” at least. He asks Michi for his opinion. Good, Michi is there! I think it’s nice if Hans is getting a little romance of his own, although he better be treating Michi right and not taking him for granted.

Hans teases Mia about why she wants to know so badly about what happened at the school on Saturday night, and if she isn’t a bit jealous. She says curiosity isn’t the same as jealousy. Sure, but the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Mia goes to ask Linn for her opinion (Linn is sleeping already) and Michi feeds Hans. They have a little couple moment. Aww. HANS, TREAT MICHI RIGHT. He’s cute and he makes food for you.

I’m wondering if the whole Hans/Michi thing is going to be a parallel to Mia and Alex, where a relationship that didn’t seem feasible at first becomes something real, and maybe they’ll have some relationship difficulty when Mia and Alex do. Though in the beginning of the season Hans and Michi seemed to parallel Alex and Kiki quite clearly, or at least Mia was making that connection, so who knows.

Clip 6 - Always look before crossing

Mia is leaving for school in the morning, and who should be there but Alex with two drinks in his hands. Rosehip tea or cocoa if he’s feeling sentimental.

We don’t hear what he’s saying because Mia has her earbuds in, so it’s just the faintest sound of his voice over the music. She ignores him and goes to unlock her bike, he keeps talking, she points to her earbuds to indicate that she’s not listening. We see him mouth “please” and she finally takes out her earbuds and accepts the drink. Which I would too, because I’m shameless and thirsty and I wouldn’t turn down a free warm beverage in the morning.

There’s a little editing blip because in the clip, the music doesn’t cut out right as she takes out the earbuds, it’s a moment or two later when she puts them in her pockets. They fixed it in the full episode, though, and it cuts out when she takes out the earbuds.

Alex clearly sees Mia taking the drink as a victory and smiles. They walk along side by side by a moment until Mia calls him out for being spoiled and doing whatever he wants and not owning up to it. He says they were drunk. Wait, so he DID do it???? And he says she’s blowing it way out of proportion?? I’m surprised because I thought we’d learn that Alex didn’t do it after all. It seemed too obvious, Kiki was so eager to blame him that it seemed like a misdirect. And I mean, I don’t think it’s right that he and the others are making the entire graduating class reap the consequences, but I don’t think the prank is an unforgivable thing he did in itself.

They argue a little and she’s about to bike across the road when Alex grabs her and pulls her back just as a car goes by, honking. She’s like … this doesn’t change anything. Alex is like, well it kinda does. “I saved your life, Mia Winter!” Well, she was distracted by him in the first place, so consider it even? (I binge-watched Russian Doll on Netflix this weekend so I can’t help but think this moment could have taken a drastically different turn.)

Mia bikes away but is smiling, which is awfully chipper for someone who just had a brush with death. I would be in the fetal position the rest of the day.

Alex stares after her and walks in the other direction. Errr … away from the school? I assume he was going back to his car, parked closer to Mia’s place.

So that mystery was done solved pretty quickly and anti-climatically. Kinda disappointing because I think it’d be fun to drag it out just a teensy tiny bit more - the mystery element of Skam is something that’s really underrated, when you think about it, even though it’s a large part of what kept people watching in real time.

Clip 7 - Sam just drops a bomb

We get a closeup of Sam blowing a bubble with her gum and then popping it. Like how she’s about to burst that bubble about Mia and Alex?

The girls are discussing the prank and that Alexander was in on it. Kiki is like, I knew it. Damn, she really wants him to go down. I don’t blame her, though.

When Amira asks how Mia knows, Sam says Alexander probably told her. WHOA HOLD THE PHONE. Druck is throwing curveballs everywhere this episode. I did not expect to see Sam reveal this information so quickly and casually; I thought she’d save it for a more dramatic moment later on, after Mia and Alex definitely were a thing. Sam says Mia is always talking to him, and Mia rushes to explain that it was all because of Kiki (lies) and she told him what she thought of him (well, that part is true) and that Leonie told her about Alexander (another lie - not looking good for Mia).

All the girls get a text at the same time. Sam says her battery sucks so we conveniently get Hanna reading the text out loud for us viewers. Alexander has arranged a benefit concert to make up for the damage so no one has to pay extra. BOY SAM WILL BE PERFORMING, and there will be a surprise musical act, too. I’m just glad to see the toilet man again.

The girls are excited and Hanna’s like, TIME TO STOP STUDYING. I don’t think she needs much of an excuse, really.

Alex texts Mia to say if she doesn’t come tomorrow, he’ll cancel everything 😊 GODDAMMIT. I realize Alexander is supposed to be a dickhead, but do we really have to keep this manipulative crap? Can he not just be like … arrogant and jerkish without that element?

Kiki looks at Mia getting another text, and you can see the suspicion all over her face. Sam’s comment struck a match.

Clip 8 - Mia crosses that bridge, y’all

I love when we get a long-ass Friday clip, thanks, Druck!

Mia shows up to the benefit concert by herself, and Toilet Sam is rapping onstage. Hello again! She runs into Kiki and says she’ll join the group in a minute. Does she need to talk to Alexander first?

We see Mia putting on that bright red lipstick in the mirror. I am sure she’s doing it just because she likes the color and not because there are any Alexander-related motivations that she would never admit.

Mia notices Alex skulking across the club and staring at her like some kind of Edward Cullen wannabe. It’s only episode 5, I guess they still have time to pull off a sudden vampire twist. (And I mean ... Alexander did just pull Mia out of the path of a car ... a Twilight parallel if I ever saw one.)

Of course Alex sends her a text telling her she looks gorgeous. It looks like he wants her to drink with him; however, Sarah comes up to him and gives him a hug and kisses him on the cheek and talks to him. He doesn’t look very enthused, but Mia smirks and shakes her head at him. That Alexander, up to his old tricks! Between that and the copy orgy I’m sure she’s thinking Alexander and Sarah have a thing.

People dance and drink to Toilet Sam’s performance. We see Jonas getting really wasted, and Matteo seems kinda done with it, so it’s Hanna who pulls drunk Jonas off the dance floor, and he tries to kiss her. MY HEART. But she pushes him back and asks what’s up with him. He says, you’re what’s up with me. THE ANGST. I said this last season, but Anselm Bresgott is a great actor. He’s able to convey a lot of vulnerability with his eyes.

When this happened I thought that maybe instead of drunk Eva/Vilde makeouts we would get sad intoxicated Jonas trying to kiss Matteo in this clip, and I was all for THE ANGST that would bring. Either that or Jonas was gonna make out with Toilet Sam.

(He did not make out with either of them - yet - but it’s OK because there turned out to be enough of THE ANGST as it was.)

Alexander comes onstage and Toilet Sam gives him a shout-out for organizing, and that they beat their goal (by almost half, awesome). They’re giving the rest of the money to plant trees on campus, to make up for all the dead ones they spent showcasing students’ genitalia. How noble!

Sarah is the surprise performance of the night! So her contact with Alexander was not necessarily about them hooking up, but perhaps her thanking him for giving her the opportunity? Sarah sings idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish.

After some more eye contact with Alexander, Mia leaves the room and goes upstairs. But Alexander stands in her path and won’t let her go to the bathroom. Come on, dude. You’ve been doing some things right but this episode you’re doing all these little entitled things.

He’s like, Mia, what do you want. He fixed everything? Everyone’s happy, so what’s her problem? LMAO again at this entitled attitude. She owes him nothing! The thing is - even if she really really likes him and wants to kiss him and be with him - she still owes him nothing! She’s allowed not to act on her feelings because she feels it’s a bad idea! Get out of here with this attitude that Mia is doing him wrong because she likes him but won’t give in and be with him.

He lets down his hood and rakes his hand through his hair in a strangely vampire-ish way, and says there’s something between them. He likes her a lot, but he’s tired of these games. Dude, you’re the one starting many of these games now. Yeah, Mia is definitely responsible for much of what happened earlier in the season, and she could certainly be better about not contacting him, but he’s also the one showing up at her place with a drink and telling her he’ll call everything off if she doesn’t show up to the benefit. He gives her the lines about if she doesn’t like him, say it to his face and he’ll leave her alone forever. Just as he says that, Kiki comes out of the bathroom, and there’s some heavy eye contact between her and Mia, and oh right, that’s what Mia doesn’t like him, that’s why Mia can’t be with him.

Heh, he put down his hoodie to confess to her, because he was being open about his feelings, and then when she’s rejected him, he puts it back up. He’s ~putting up his wall again.

Mia then goes into the bathroom and has a mini-breakdown, as the song switches from the cover to the original. She’s teary, she’s wiping off her lipstick. Props again to Milena because she’s really selling this season. She looks for some toilet paper, but there’s only the cardboard for the roll. So she goes in her purse for something and comes up with the Post-It Alex left her about Hotel Hardenberg. Ahhhh, now that’s a nice little detail. I’m one of those people who just ... does not clean out her purse until she buys a new purse, lmao, so I can imagine Mia shoved it in there and forgot about it, without being very sentimental about it at the time. But I like that it came back at this crucial moment.

Mia grabs her coat and runs out of the club after him. When she catches up to him, they’re on opposite sides of a bridge, so we know what’s gonna happen. Someone’s gotta cross, or they have to meet in the middle.

She says it’s cold, he offers her a beanie, she comes forward and shows her own beanie, they both put on beanies at the same time. It’s a big beanie fest. What’s important that Mia crossed the bridge and closed the gap. The symbolism is obvious, but ... well, it’s there.

She says that she likes him, but doesn’t want to like him. He’s an egocentric prick, but then he was clever and funny and nice that one Friday, but then he disappears for a week and pulls that stunt copying his dick and plastering it around the school. Alex is like, who said that was my dick? Mia is like, well whose dick was it? Alex nods over her shoulder and we see Jonas stumbling around drunk as fuck. LMAO. Mia had Jonas’ dick pic in her backpack. She was going around thinking she got a glimpse of Alexander’s junk, showing it off to her roommate, and it was Jonas’ all along! And Hanna didn’t notice it was Jonas’ dick???

I mean, now I get why Alexander and Jonas bonded so quickly. They’re dick twins, if Kiki can mistake one for the other. I’m sure there’s some situation where that would come in handy (no pun intended?)

Are the two of you going to help out this completely drunk Jonas who’s by himself and who’s wandering into the street before he gets hit by a car or something...

Alex is like, do I look like someone who whips out his dick when he’s drunk? (I mean...) His penis needs to stay an enigma. Okay, goddammit, that’s funny. But Mia correctly points out that every other girl at school knows his penis, so it’s not an enigma.

When Alex is like, now what, Mia looks past him and says, “Fuck,” and when he turns back to her she’s kissing him. Damn, she’s so smooth. They dramatically kiss and he doinks his forehead against hers, it’s quite sweet. Then Alex goes off into the night, probably to find a few necks to drain. He rummages around in his coat for a moment, making quite a show, and of course it’s his middle finger he finds and flashes at Mia. Flipping each other off becoming their romantic couples’ gesture? I’m here for it.

He also does a little skip hop as he goes. Mia looks after him, smiling. Oh, Mia. Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

So that shot during the end credits, of her looking outside at something, is not her in the first kiss scene! When will any of these moments happen?

Social Media/General Comments

The week long hiatus was explained in-universe as an “insta detox” among the girls. Matteo did not let that stop him from posting his regularly scheduled memes, though. #fuckinstadetox

Hanna texts Matteo about why Jonas and Alex are acting all buddy-buddy, which we see in the clips, too. Matteo says he doesn’t know. I thought it was meant to be a red herring and that Alex was probably not directly involved in the prank, but Jonas probably was, and maybe Jonas decided to bro it up with Alex since he liked his motto. Except then Alex turned out to have participated in the prank. I guess their friendship escalated when Jonas had his dick out on the copy machine.

But I like seeing a William have friendly interactions with other characters. That was something I thought was kind of lacking with him in Skam, that we didn’t get a ton of insight into his other friendships. He didn’t seem to care much about Noora’s friends, and he was close with P-Chris obviously, but there wasn’t a ton of detail there as to why or what their relationship was like outside of girl drama. I understand that not every character has to be extroverted and buddy-buddy with others, but it makes me think a lot more of Alex as a person when we see him forming bonds with people who he does not want to bone.

Matteo then texted Jonas about the thing between him and Alex, and Jonas jokes that he couldn’t resist Alex’s face. Matteo is jealous! But totally not really jealous, you know, JOKING jealous. Totally. And when Jonas teases him about it, he says there’s no reason to be, Matteo is the only little bitch in his life. I legit want to pass out. And I think Matteo did too, because he sent back a heart emoji. Six minutes later. What happened in those six minutes? Was Matteo just sitting there staring at his phone, wondering how the hell to respond to that? Getting butterflies and heart palpitations in his skinny stoner body?

There are pictures of the benefit with the girl squad sans Mia ... after she left to run after Alex, maybe? ~Foreshadowing?

I’m Mia right now. I was so annoyed with little things Alexander did in this episode, and I’m still pissed at some of his past behavior, and yet I am charmed by him despite it all. It’s heavily due to the performance. I can’t believe Alexander was one of my least favorite Williams across the remakes based on the first season, and he’s skyrocketing here just by virtue of having a personality.

I also can’t believe I had doubts about Mia in the first season. She has my whole heart now, fuckups and all.

Girl Sam and boy Sam were rapping together at benefit, according to IG. What if boy Sam replaced Kasper and made out with girl Sam in the finale, since it’s unlikely Manfred will fill that role (or at least I hope to God not)? I mean, if Kiki’s ultimately gonna be chill about Mia and Alexander, Hanna being chill about Sam and Sam wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.

In an alternate universe, this season turned into the German remake of American Vandal from here on out and we spent the next five episodes trying to figure out who covered the school in dicks.

I’m not German so please feel free to correct me/clarify stuff!

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#druck reactions

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perdrixforelle · 6 years

Note

I'm your secret santa! Would you like to tell me a little bit more about your ideas/favorite headcanons for demon!Shane (why he's here, what he looks like, etc.)? My demon knowledge is currently kinda limited to Christian mythology but I am happy to do research. Also, you didn't mention it in your prompt, but would you like there to be a slight winter/holiday theme? Looking forward to writing for you - Ho Ho Ho

Omigosh hiiii welcome!First of all, I didn’t specify winter/holiday theme but if you feel inspired by the idea of incorporating it into you piece go ahead!As for my headcanons for Demon!Shane, let’s see… they are not that elaborate since the concept alone + the ghoul boys’ dynamic makes for great things already. But I’m going to try and flesh things out a little.

- I like him to be the Shane we know, like, not “evil” or specifically seeking to harm. He’s just having a human life as Shane to have a good time. He could be super-duper ancient and thoroughly bored with all demonic activities, hence the job at Buzzfeed. OR he could be some fresh young demon that is just not into hurting people nor causing the apocalypse because man, there’s no way he’s going to contribute to a world without Mission Impossible, Red Dead Redemption and most of all popcorn. He’s in it for the fun, possibly to get people on the internet angry (that’s a headcanon I’ve read and I quite like, internet anger could generate sweet negative energy for demons to consume) and along the way he happens to meet a funky little ghost hunter he can’t say no to.

- What does he look like? I like the idea that when his human disguise slips, he looks like himself but just… off? Like, an uncanny valley sort of effect, just unsettling to see. Like a glitching human form. When he is not wearing a disguise? honestly, you could go wild because I don’t mind him looking truly like a monster. Also I must admit I don’t know much about demons even from Christian Mythology. Maybe (I just came up with this idea) his form depends on who is looking at him? Ryan would see a sexy version of him with both monster traits and characteristics from his human form because he’s in love. Like, something shifting depending on how Shane is feeling, the powers he’s displaying, something like that.I mean, I know the real form of angels is supposed to be impossible to handle for humans. Why shouldn’t demons have funky forms too?

This is all to give you ideas ofc, not rules or anything, I just hope I get your inspiration going with my suggestions.

I am very excited! Don’t hesitate if you want to ask more ;)

#asks #shyan secret santa #demon!shane #headcanons

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shirewalker · 6 years

Note

for the ship headcanons: lara jean x peter, katniss x peeta, snow x charming :D

Covinsky:

Who starts putting up decorations in October? Lara Jean. She has a HUGE box of decorations she’s collected throughout the years and as soon as she can she will take it out and go wild.

Who buys the advent calendars? Peter, cuz Lara Jean can’t decide and loves all of them so Peter steps up and picks one.

Who places mistletoe all around the house? Ah, but this is actually Kitty’s doing. She’s the one that places it all over the house.

Who wraps the presents for other people? Lara Jean. She is the best in town at it, ok??

Who puts the final star/angel on the top of the Christmas tree? Peter and only because he’s tall enough to do it so he snatches it from either Lara Jean or Kitty’s hands and does the thing.

Who’s the one that hates eggnog? Neither. I think they like it very much.

Who’s the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests? Lara Jean, no one but Lara Jean the Master of Baking.

Who sends out the Christmas cards? Lara Jean makes them but Peter offers to send/deliver them.

Who knows all the words to twelve days of Christmas? Both, their duets make the Christmas dinners all the better. (usually the duet is not planned, they’re just enjoying the night and start singing and suddenly everyone’s clapping)

Who’s the better snowman builder? Peter. Lara Jean sucks at it, but she still helps.

Who starts snowball fights? Both. It’s like a Tag thing. One time it’s Peter, the next it’s Lara Jean, and so on and so on.

Who’s the one that wakes the other on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loudly? Peter calls her pretty early in the morning and she has a christmas song for her ringtone so yeah.

Who has the ugliest Christmas sweater? Lara Jean, she has a collection of them. And she disagrees on them being ugly.

Who still writes from Santa on the gifts? Lara Jean’s dad. No contest.

Everlark:

Who starts putting up decorations in October? Peeta, Katniss barely realises it’s November until she walks in on him tangled in fairy lights.

Who buys the advent calendars? Katniss, she will buy the most affordable but pretty one. No use spending money on something that is too expensive and pretends to look good and you end up throwing away after the 25th.

Who places mistletoe all around the house? Haymitch. Somehow, he manages to put them up without either Peeta or Katniss even SEEING him.

Who wraps the presents for other people? Katniss is surprisingly good at it so every year she takes care of this task. Every time she gets better and more creative.

Who puts the final star/angel on the top of the Christmas tree? Peeta, it’s a little something he made a while ago to deal with nightmares.

Who’s the one that hates eggnog? Katniss cannot even bear the smell of it!

Who’s the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests? Peeta, ofc. He bakes for them, for their guests, for their friends and for the whole street.

Who sends out the Christmas cards? They don’t really have that tradition but they do trade cards during Christmas dinner.

Who knows all the words to twelve days of Christmas? Katniss, and Peeta loves hearing her sing it.

Who’s the better snowman builder? Peeta, they’re all so cute.

Who starts snowball fights? Katniss! :D it’s relaxing AND fun.

Who’s the one that wakes the other on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loudly? Neither, they both enjoy sleeping in on Christmas morning.

Who has the ugliest Christmas sweater? Peeta, it’s a cute thing with lots of bread loafs and christmas stuff.

Who still writes from Santa on the gifts? Effie, actually.

Snowing:

Who starts putting up decorations in October? Snow, boy she’s a sucker for Christmas. David is just... hearteyes all the time.

Who buys the advent calendars? David, Snow puts him in charge of that.

Who places mistletoe all around the house? Snow, she loves those mistletoe kisses mhmm

Who wraps the presents for other people? Snow again. Putting to use those curse-acquired arts and crafts skills.

Who puts the final star/angel on the top of the Christmas tree? David and he does so with pride.

Who’s the one that hates eggnog? They LOVE it, actually.

Who’s the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests? Both, which is why they end up covered in flour ;)

Who sends out the Christmas cards? Snow, because David always gets distracted with catching up with their friends.

Who knows all the words to twelve days of Christmas? Snow. She sings it all day long throughout the entirety of December.

Who’s the better snowman builder? David, although he isn’t THAT good. He’s just a tiny bit better than Snow.

Who starts snowball fights? Snow ohohoho she LOVES snowball fights :D

Who’s the one that wakes the other on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loudly? These two also sleep in on Christmas morning so no one is woken up by loud music. They do spend the day with the volume super loud but yeah.

Who has the ugliest Christmas sweater? Tough one... I think they have matching sweaters, but they look so cute they’re not even accepted in the ugliest sweater contest. Too Cute™.

Who still writes from Santa on the gifts? Snow, she even puts up cookies and milk and all the Santa stuff mhmm.

send me a ship for some xmas headcanons

#the silverstarling #covinsky #snowing #everlark #kestrel of herran #thanks!! :D #the hunger games #ouat #tatbilb #shippy headcanons #Questions #this was a tough one because it's been a while since I've been super active in snowing and everlark stuff so I had to take time to remember #how they'd react to stuff #as for covinsky it was hard because I wasn't sure if I'd do it as Older And Living Together or at their books!ages #I went with books!ages

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okay-klepto · 6 years

Text

How about a sexy calendar?

This was way back when Kerberos was in its infant stages, still just sort of an idea floating around

Well, some members of staff are trying to get people more hyped about missions

Maybe there was a change in management or some failed trials and experiments, but morale had been on the decline for a while, and the people on the Kerberos team needed to rally others’ support for this soon-to-be project

It takes some real thought as to how to get other members of staff around the Garrison on board for upcoming projects and eventually Kerberos

Maybe they could also do something to raise a bit of cash for small things

So what idea gets thrown against the wall and sticks?

A Kerberos Crew Sexy Pin-Up Calendar

Obviously

Bc the Galaxy Garrison is also a school and there are certain regulations that need to be followed (and they’re adults with common sense), there can’t be any actual nudity

But shirts are optional

So it’s more like a “Sexy” Kerberos Calendar

A sensual calendar

A suggestive calendar

Some of the people working on the beginnings of Kerberos volunteer to be models, and of course the members of the flight crew need to pose for this as well

They throw out a bunch of ridiculous and risque ideas, ranging from scenes to poses to outfits

They get twelve planned out for the different months, then throw in some extras as bonus content

bc why not?

And, like girls, they just want to have fun

Matt goes FULL California Gurls Candy Land with glitter Daisy Dukes and lollipop pasties, maybe even some crazy shoes and neon/pastel wigs

They make a little psychedelic candy land for him and he poses with the candy and on the cotton candy clouds

He’s smearing whipped cream all over himself and deep-throating lollipops

And choking right after

Matt hooks his leg around one of the candy cane trees and gives it a long, full-tongue lick while giving bedroom eyes to the camera

He regrets it immediately after

Sam Holt plays the classic role of the Sexy Science Teacher, wearing just a lab coat and pants while doing experiments in a classroom

He also does Sexy Santa for the December page

There are bikini scenes with the lady volunteers, most of the photos being them sensually lounging around the pool or at the beach

Then there are some of them splashing each other or throwing water balloons or just sitting eating ice creams or going way to hard at volleyball

The middle-aged male engineers (who have been at the Garrison since like the beginning of time) throw on women’s “sexy version” costumes while the female engineers wear the regular counterparts for the October page

It’s just a good, light-hearted time all around

People are posing in their underwear with puppies and kittens

Others have on aprons and are doing sexy cooking and housework

Movie themed scenes (me: *thinks about young Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones) and holidays and some people posing on motorcycles or next to muscle cars

It’s amazing since everyone pretty much has a plain, unimpressive body but they just throw that aside to have a good time

But then there’s Shiro

Takashi “God Among Men” Shirogane

I mean

It’s no secret that Shiro is in great shape

Everyone knows he’s just outstandingly handsome and ridiculously muscular

But there’s just something - something - about putting him in old-school basketball short-shorts, oiling him up, and giving him a weightlifting scene to pose for

He’s just all glistening skin as he benches hundreds of pounds, juicy ass threatening to tear his shorts as he dips low for squats

He gives the camera bedroom eyes as he sits with his legs wide and leans on his knee to do bicep curls

He flicks the hair out of his eyes as he runs on the treadmill, exposing a sweat-covered neck

Everyone is in shock, but Shiro is nervous and embarrassed as hell before, during, and after the entire shoot

He thinks he’s should be wearing a little bit more and that his nipples are sticking out and that he’s being just too much

(He shouldn’t be, they are but who cares, and he’s not)

(Thank you Matt for encouraging him)

They also give him the page for February (bc it’s his birth month), and he’s dressed up in a well-fitted three-piece suit in a candle-lit dining room scene with a bottle of wine in his hand for Valentine’s Day

It was really just supposed to be him posing like he’s eating dinner with someone special, having chocolates and wine

But then someone (Matt) suggests something in the bedroom...

And then Shiro is completely topless, sprawled out on a silk-sheet and rose-petal covered bed with a rose in his mouth, looking up at the camera with his eyes half-lidded

They also somehow manage to get him to pose in jean booty shorts and a white tank top for a sexy car washing scene as the cover of the calendar

That is a favorite

(bc Shiro would TOTALLY win a wet t-shirt contest if the opportunity arose)

(And those booty shorts only covered like half his ass)

They also have whole group shoots

One is Baywatch themed

(Shiro somehow ended up being the only one in a speedo)

And the other is Sexy Santa with Sexy Elves

They even manage to get Iverson to be in one of the photos, though he’s not doing much sexy posing

But hey, it’s still funny

When the calendar comes out, it’s a BIG HIT

Almost everyone on staff buys one just bc they think it’s funny

And there’s one in nearly every teachers’ lounge at the Garrison

Some students try to get their hands on a copy or two or try to sneak into a teachers’ lounge to see the photos

Bc the calendars are not for students and they should not be seeing some of their teachers in such attire or in such poses

It’s mainly Shiro people want to see

So even though it wasn’t really on brand with the Garrison and they didn’t take it super seriously, the calendar turns out to be a very effective way to get people excited about new programs and projects

Thank you for coming to my Tedx Talk

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winterinpanem · 7 years

Text

Not Your Mama's Hallmark Christmas part 3/3

This chapter is rated M for sexual content.

A big Thank You to my friend and Beta @Javistg

Breakfast with Peeta’s entire family is something else. Some are nursing hangovers.

Peeta and Rye sit next to each other and play fight with their elbows.

“These are grown men, folks!” Lila announces with amusement.

“Hey, can I butter your biscuit?” Peeta says again with a wink.

I just roll my eyes at him.

“Do you need me to wet your waffle, Lila?” Rye adds, greatly amusing his brother.

I reach for my coffee, Peeta looks at me and says. “Too hot? Maybe you should blow it?”

I shut my eyes and stifle my laugh.

Rye follows with, “Lila really likes sausage for breakfast.” Placing a few on Lila’s plate.

We all groan.

This leads to Rye and Peeta going back and forth with innuendos as we eat.

“Do you want a package to come for Christmas, Katniss?”

“I’ll do you a favor, if Santa doesn't come, well…”

Finnick and Peeta could do this all day. It's hilarious to hear Peeta and his brother go back and forth. Lila pretends they aren't that funny, but eventually breaks down and cracks up with the rest of us. We're just lucky the pretentious matriarch is seated at the dining table and not with us in the breakfast nook.

It’s Christmas Day, I don't know what is happening, but today things are different. The hand holding seems second nature. The way we reach for each other is more genuine. Our touches seem to be more than just for appearances. Even the way he says my name sounds, well, different.

Peeta needed my attention for a conversation with his aunt and the way “Katniss” rolled off his tongue sent a shiver through me, a good shiver.

I know many erotic novels will describe a predicament where the female protagonist is so turned on she “soaked her panties” at an awkward time in an embarrassing setting, but they never cover how one were to remedy the situation. Damnit!

Peeta and I are surrounded. SURROUNDED by all kinds of his relatives and I just have to awkwardly shift and pretend I'm not uncomfortable until I can attempt some sort of “pat down” in the bathroom.

What did he do to provoke such a reaction? I'm not even sure. Was it his blinding smile? His deep, contagious laugh? The time when he squeezed my thigh to get my attention? Or when he brushed my hair to the side to whisper an inside joke from years ago in my ear? Maybe it was when he looked intently into my eyes as we grinned and laughed about the joke reference? I can no longer deny this thing between us. It’s electric. It feels...real.

After I stack my plate with cookies, Peeta grabs a bottle of red wine and we sneak away to a less crowded room, laughing all the way.

It was such a gradual shift. No real conscious decision was made, it just seemed natural. The touching. The hand wondering.

I don't know when it happened, but Peeta and I are up in my room, and I'm straddling his lap as we make out, rather intensely, might I add.

This feels really real.

And really intense.

The only coherent thought I can make is “why did it take so long for us to get here?”

I've been living this long without his soft pillow lips, how perfectly they fit and hug my own.

This intensity is what made every other kisser so mundane, forgettable.

He pulls me tighter as my head begins to spin. I feel drunk on this feeling, on fire, out of control. I feel a hunger within.

With a sexy husky voice, he whispers magical words that cause a shiver down my spine, “I just want to get you naked.”

After what felt like hours of roving hands and hungry kisses, clothing in a pile on the floor, I try to catch my breath but, with every touch, Peeta ignites a fire. As his fingers finally reach where I want want him, I'm nearly begging.

Almost as a reflex, my hand finds its way to make Peeta moan. Hearing his sexy guttural noises has me nearly losing my mind. Hot lips travel down neck, my eyes roll back as my whole body is bathed in waves of euphoria. I hear Peeta stifling similar noises of pleasure in the crook of my neck.

As we catch our breaths, I find myself giggling.

“Oh that was sooo goood.” I pant with a tired, sated voice. My eyes are heavy.

“Mmmhmm.” Peeta smiles like he just learned a secret. He pecks me on the cheek and finds something to clean up with, then dives back in bed.

The intense look in Peeta's eyes makes my stomach flip. As if he just can't help himself, he leans in, peppering me with sweet kisses that travel to my lips.

“Thank you,” Peeta says between lingering kisses.

“No. Thank. You,” I answer back kissing him too. My lips don't disconnect from Peeta's sweet delicious ones until I can't keep my eyes open and Peeta seems to be nodding off.

As we drift off to sleep on Christmas Day, the only thought I have is that I don't know if I've ever been so happy in someone's arms before.

In a half awake state I felt some warmth leave my arms, it's replaced by blankets, and a sweet kiss to my lips, which I return, before going back to my slumber.

When I wake for the day I'm greeted with a message from Gale.

The message, sent last night, says:

Gale: She said yes!!!

There's a picture of Gale and Madge sporting huge smiles, she’s holding up her left hand up baring the glimmering diamond.

He popped the question on Christmas Day.

Another text has a question:

Gale: Madge and I fought over you a little, but will you be my Best Woman?

Me: Absolutely! Congratulations!!

Then sent Madge the same kind words.

Madge's reply being: I'll tell you everything when you get back!! xoxo

I thought for a little bit, then decided to get my best friend’s thoughts.

Me: What do you think about Peeta and I, if we were really dating? Please don't tell Madge until I've talked with Peeta?

Gale: You're a pragmatic thinker Katniss, you're never going to choose something serious with someone you ‘can live with.’ The question is if you can't live without him? Does he help you be a better you? This could be really good for you Catnip. ;)

Me: Solid advice. I'll let you know.

After I'm showered and dressed, hair woven in my trademark braid, I head downstairs. Since I slept late, only a few family members are still in the kitchen. I decide to look for Peeta before I eat.

Clara is spoon feeding the chubby babbling baby that sits in the high chair.

“He's in the kids’ room,” she answers with amusement in her smile.

What I find is Peeta dancing with his two nieces. The girls are in glittery dress-up clothes, while Peeta has a tulle skirt stretched tight around his waist. All 3 are enthusiastically singing “Let it GO…” as the movie plays on screen. Peeta knows all the words? I would tease him, but I'm just really impressed!

They didn't see me come in so I quietly sneak back to the kitchen unnoticed. I don't want to ruin the moment.

I can't wipe away the grin on my face after what I found. Uncle of the year!

Peeta would make a great dad someday.

Clara and I share a knowing smile as I prepare my breakfast plate.

The blue eyed baby with tousled curls babbles to his mom while I allow myself to daydream about what Peeta would be like as a father.

I didn't realize I was smiling to myself until a hungover Rye sat next to me with a plate of breakfast.

“I really want to mock you about the love struck look on your face, but it's so damn cute. Should I start calling you Sis, now?” Rye nudges me with his elbow, mischief in his eyes, which seems to be a standard Rye Mellark trait.

“What do you mean?” I try to frown, but fail.

Rye laughs. “I mean, I've never seen my baby bro so happy and crazy about someone. You’re just as gaga over him and, from what I've seen, it's a perfect match. I'm guessing a ring isn't too far from Peeta's thoughts. What do ya, say, Sis?” This is the most serious I've ever seen Rye, the last sentence he adds playfully.

“Uh, I, uh?” I really don't know what to say.

“Don't sweat it, Katniss, just let it happen,” Rye says with a hand on my shoulder.

He must have read the fear in my eyes.I make eye contact and pay closer attention to what he's about to say.

“Lila and I were friends first. Lila will tell a much more fluffy magical version, but you seem more practical so, I'll give it to you straight. All couples are different. For us it was a slow natural progression. We were in love before either of us realized it. I didn't know marriage was for me until it just was because it was her. Marrying her was the most natural and necessary decision I've ever made. My whole life is better with Lila. I love her, I want her, and I need her. For the rest of my life. Always,” Rye states so matter of factly we could be talking about the color of snow. It's just fact.

I'm deeply moved. Somehow this makes more sense than anything I've ever heard about such a commitment.

“You won't break his heart. He's it for you too. It's in all the little things you're not saying.” And with that Peeta's brother leaves me to my treacherous thoughts, walking upstairs to join his wife and boys.

I'm also left wondering… so many things.

There's a knock on the door so, after looking around, I see Clara is busy, I might as well answer it.

There stands Cashmere De Young, Peeta's horrible ex-girlfriend, standing at the door.

Cashmere came from old money and was absolutely spoiled. Peeta loved her, he doted on her, was immune to her air of elite, and judgmental nature. I blame his mother.

I always wondered if it had something to do with his mother's constant disapproval, gaining the approval of someone so exclusionary.

They dated 4 years, Peeta was talking about marriage, and she left him. This was a year ago, just before his family’s party. Peeta told us of his humiliation at their party and of his mother's constant backhanded comments on the following weeks.

Despite all this, Peeta went to great lengths to try to win Cashmere back for months. She shut down every attempt. He was quite heartbroken.

Like kicking a kitten who just wants to be held and cuddled.

Devil woman.

Now this woman is back? At his parent’s home.

“Is Peeta here?” Cashmere studies me, a look of confusion on her face.

Then I remember the look on Peeta's face when this bitch tore his heart out. Suddenly I’m filled with anger.

Her parents were at the party. They probably saw Peeta looking happy and she wanted to come in here to toy with him?

This woman who is so used to getting everything she wants.

Not on my watch!

“Who do you think you are coming here, Cashmere?” I cross my arms, a scowl on my face.

“I just want to talk to Peeta!” she answers.

“You've had plenty of time to talk to Peeta! An entire year, to be specific!” My words come out as more of a snarl.

She looks surprised that I know that.

“Well, I didn't--,” Cashmere tries, but I interrupt.

“Well, you didn't? You didn't think of his feelings when you left him? You didn't care about anyone else but yourself?!” I cross my arms in challenge.

“That's NOT what happened!!” she insists.

“Get the HELL OUT OF HERE. I'll tell him you stopped by, it's his choice what he wants to do with that information. But you are NOT going to hurt him EVER AGAIN if I can help it! I DON'T want to see your face again!!”

Her jaw dropped. “Who the hell do you think you are?!”

“Peeta's GIRLFRIEND!!” I leave her with that and slam the door in her face.

I feel like I'm floating on air, I can't believe I was able to tell off Cashmere de Young!

“Kat? Come over by us!” Two small hands yank my hand and pull me into the living room where Peeta is coloring with a preschool aged nephew. I'm still shaky on their names and parentage. They look so alike.

“Let's show Peeta that game we played?” a smirk on his lips, mischief in his blue eyes. This one must be Rye’s?

“Do you mean THIS game?” I tickle both boys with one hand each as they laugh and squirm.

“Ooor THIS game?” I pick their sides as the laughs become infectious.

“Or THIS game?” I wrap an arm around each boy and swing them in a circle, plopping them in the couch, gently, but in an exaggerated manner.

Peeta and I tackle, tickle, and rough house and giggle with our nephews...

I mean his nephews, until it's time for them to head home with their parents.

After, goodbyes and hugs are exchanged. I'm surprised to find the ache in my stomach when the kids “can't wait to see me again.”

The sincerity of Dane and Clara’s open invitation for dinner.

Rye whispers, “looking forward to a ring.” Which I know has a double meaning.

I really feel like I fit in this family. It kind of scares me.

Peeta and I find ourselves sitting on the couch by the fire watching the snow fall outside as we sip hot chocolate.

He places our cups on the coffee table and pulls me into his arms, longing lengthwise our legs entwined. My head just under his chin where I can hear his heartbeat.

The calm I feel in his embrace seeps through my veins. I heart his heart beat slow and find a rhythmic pattern. It seems to be a mutual calming effect, wrapped up in each other.

I'm mesmerized as the fire crackles and flames dance in the fireplace. The gentle rise and fall of Peeta's chest beneath me almost makes my eyelids feel heavy.

“Katniss I--”

Peeta's words are interrupted as his phone starts blowing up with text messages.

“We need to go the the hospital, it's dad!” Peeta says, panic written all over his face.

CH 6

The beauty that comes with the winter season brings with it new dangers.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that about 1 million Americans are injured, and 17,000 people die, as a result of slip-and-fall injuries every year. Studies show slip-and-fall injury rates increase significantly as temperatures decline, with most injuries resulting from contact with outside services.

Peeta and I rush through the hospital doors hand in hand.

“Which room is William Mellark in?” We find Rye asking at the front desk, his voice full of concern.

Loretta is seated in chair outside Bill’s hospital room. She's trying to hold all her emotions in, but the fear is gripping her.

Dane is seated next to his mom. He offers his hand, which she clutches for dear life.

Peeta's dad took a nasty fall when he slipped on ice. Will Mellark has a fractured knee that will require surgery. He has a sprained wrist, and they will be keeping him for a few days due to his head injury.

I heard Peeta talking to his mom about staying past the New Year to help with his dad. I wonder if I should stay with him?

Loretta keeps muttering how young her husband is, how fit and healthy. Before long, she’s blaming herself.

The brothers share a look and exchange a few whispered words, with a few head nods they set a plan in motion.

Peeta and I picked up dinner for the 5 of us while Rye and Dane stayed with mama Mellark.

After much convincing, Dane took his mom home to sleep while Peeta and I stayed at the hospital to ease Loretta’s fears of being away from her husband.

The nurses brought us a cot. Peeta and I found comfort snuggled into one another. I fell asleep to his heartbeat under my ear, his solid chest under my fingertips and his fingers in my hair.

My dreams were less than innocent, twice I woke up too warm and kissing Peeta. I had to calm my thoughts and still my actions. Take deep breaths. We were in a hospital, after all. It's kind of embarrassing how much I want him. In my defense, he didn't seem to mind.

In the morning, the sight of Peeta's tousled hair and bright eyes make my heart flutter.

“Good morning, beautiful!” he greets me handing me a crushed cup of coffee. He must have risen hours ago.

“Thank you.” I smile and accept his gift of caffeine.

“No, thank you so much for being here with me!”

I shrug my shoulders.

“That's just what we do, Peeta,” I state simply. His smiling reply makes something inside my chest grow so huge, almost 3 times in size.

I rub my chest unconsciously.

As we wait in Will’s hospital room, we've been told Peeta's dad may wake up soon.

There's a stirring as Peeta softly talks to his dad.

“I'm going to call mom. She's going to want to be here once he wakes up,” Peeta tells me before he leaves the room.

I nod.

This might be a good time for me to call Johanna.

“Hey! It's me! How's the beach?” I ask my roommate.

“Amazing! It's warm and beautiful, and so many guys and gals to take back to my hotel! How are Mellark’s cinnabuns for Christmas?” Jo teases.

“It's been great, actually. Really great!” I answer her, vague but honestly.

“Mmmhmm,” I can almost hear the smirk on her face.

“Are you going to keep him?” she asks so simply, like it's not complicated at all to start a relationship with one of my best friends who has been my pretend boyfriend for the last 5 days.

“That depends,” I answer just as simply.

“Let me guess, you're doing that thing again where you just don't talk. Have you learned nothing?

“When that picture in college surfaced, you both talked about anything and everything except your undying attraction. People only teased you because they figured that you would get together with Peeta-bread, --you two were so hot for each other-- but it was only obvious to everyone else,” Johanna explains.

I take deep breaths and fight the feelings bubbling up inside me.

“Okay, I won't let the opportunity pass this time. I think, I think he's it for me, Johanna.”

“I think so too.” Her voice velvety with affection.

I swallow and explain, “Up until yesterday, everything had been perfect. But his dad had an accident, and we're here at the hospital. If he needs me, I'm going to stay over New Year's. I can't tell him yet, it's too selfish.”

I hear a door latch so I try wrap up my call.

“I have to be there for him as his FRIEND. That's it. That's all I am, Peeta's friend.” I explain.

“Well, tell him you're crazy about him the second you have the chance,” Johanna insists.

“I will. Thanks, Jo, bye.” I end the call.

It seems the odds are never in my favor, in life and in love. I thought this week may be the exception.

I turn to find Peeta looking down, closed off body language. Maybe he's taking his dad's accident harder than I thought?

“My mom is on her way over,” he tells me.

I step closer, hoping to calm his concerns, but his response is still closed off.

“Hey, Peeta, I was thinking, I want to stay in town with you as long as you're here. If you need me?” I offer. Here it is, the precursor to bearing my soul.

I can't meet his eyes yet, I feel too vulnerable.

“Why? Because I need a friend?” Peeta asks, with a biting tone.

“I-I just want to be here, for you, with you. I want to be with you, Peeta.” I try not to say it so monotone, but my fears get the best of me.

I don't know why I imagined him wrapping me in an embrace at these words. When I find a pained expression on Peeta's face I realize I was very wrong to force myself on him, in the hospital with his injured dad.

Peeta mutters, “Conceal, don't feel, put on a show…”

“What?” I ask. He looks embarrassed, like he didn't mean to say it out loud.

“Nothing, uh, something I learned from my... nieces.” He shrugs and rubs the back of his neck.

I step back and take deep breaths.

“You don't want me? You don't want me to stay with you?” I try to ask with the least amount of emotion possible.

“No.” Is his only answer. He looks angry.

Then we hear Will Mellark moan. Peeta rushes to his dad's side.

Suddenly, I feel like I'm intruding. This is a family time. I shouldn't be here. I don't belong.

“I'll give you some privacy,” I tell Peeta. He responds with a nod.

I wait outside the room for what feels like an eternity.

Peeta and his dad are still lost in their own little world as I peek through the windows of the hospital room.

If he doesn't need me to stay over New Year, why wait?

I'll just get a cab outside the hospital and disappear. There's no way I'm going to stick around while my heart rips apart.

So THIS is what a broken heart feels like?

Peeta and I never talked about our feelings, but they became very real to me.

I did his favor, and even though we hadn't planned on my leaving for a few more days, he doesn't need me anymore, I don't need to stay.

I should have known.

No. I knew.

I knew I could never deserve Peeta Mellark.

I packed up all my things and called a cab for the train station, then turned my phone off.

Waiting at the train station, I can't help realizing how lonely I feel. How incredibly empty my heart feels without Peeta. I will myself not to cry, but I'm left with a burning lump in my throat for hours.

I think I was falling for him.

I didn't even admit it to myself before I had lost him.

Why did I let him slip through my fingers? Everything hurts right now.

After failed attempts to compartmentalize my feelings for Peeta, and trying to convince myself that I'm strong enough to be alone, I doze off in the train.

The chill the wind gust brings only reminds me that being alone has never felt so bitterly cold.

I tighten my jacket, but it's no use.

Instead of unpacking when I arrive home, I curled up on the couch with National Lampoon's Christmas, a bottle of wine, and Ice Cream.

I decided to call Madge the next morning.

“Hey Madge, I'm back in town. Let's talk New Year's Eve. What's the plan?”

Madge answers “New Year's Gala for the Mayor at 7pm. It's a masquerade, black tie. Gale will be relieved to have you as an ally.”

“Okay, I'll call if I need help with what to wear, but I think my bridesmaid dress from Annie’s wedding could work.” I share my thoughts.

“Yes, you look so good in red! If Peeta saw you in it…” Madge pauses, “I thought you said you were staying after Uncle Will’s fall? Any reason in particular that you're back early, Kat?”

“Peeta said he doesn't need me, so I left.” I answer, refusing to elaborate.

“My cousin is so dense.” Madge huffs. “See you in a few days!!”

“See you then! Don't blind anyone with that new ring of yours!” I tease.

Madge laughs. “I can't help it if I do! See ya.”

I make plans with Rue and shut my phone off again.

Rue and I meet up at the indoor rock wall, we try to do this once a month. It's a great work out and we both really like to climb, a hobby I haven't been able to share with anyone else.

“Katniss, I'm just so surprised that you'll fight for everyone else you love but, when it comes to your own desires, you give up so easily.”

“I don't know, Rue. What do I know about what I want anyway?” I shrug and climb on.

“You know you want to make it up the top before I do!” Rue says playfully as she gains the lead up the rock wall.

We laugh and continue vertically. Rue makes it to the top with a grin.

“All right! Lunch is on me next month,” I tell Rue as we're lowered to the ground by rope and harness.

After Rue and I have stretched out, rehydrated, talked and laughed, we part ways and I head back to my apartment. I find Annie and Joanna deep in conversation.

“Katniss, we need to talk about you and Peeta.” Annie says seriously.

I shrug and take a deeper breath. Then I find a spot in the chair facing two if my closest friends.

“I think I have an idea of what happened, but will you fill us in?” Joanna asks me.

I scowl and nod.

“I told him I wanted to stay with him, that I wanted to be with him.” I take another shaky breath, chew my lip.

I'm met with surprised and confused expressions on my friends’ faces.

“Wow, you did?” Jo asks.

I nod.

“I'm proud of you, for one, that must have been hard,” my roommate commends me.

“But then, why are you here?” Annie asks.

“It wasn't real for him. He-he-he told me he didn't want me to stay over New Year's. That he didn't want me.” It all tumbles out, the lump in my throat grows and I take deep breaths trying to keep my emotions inside.

“Katniss, he's been talking to Finnick. He’s acting wounded, as if you two broke up. I don't know why he pushed you away. You need to talk to Peeta,” Annie states.

I shake my head no. “He already made a choice, what good would it do?” I ask Annie.

“Maybe he didn't hear right, Brainless. You said yourself that his emotions were high after his dad's accident. I don't blame you for bolting, but at least open the lines of communication?” Johanna points to my phone that remains shut off.

“Look, you may have been faking in the beginning, but what I saw at the Mellark party was very real, for both of you,” Annie insists.

There's a knock on the door. I look at Jo, wondering if she's invited anyone. She frowns and shrugs. Annie replies with a similar shrug.

I'm greeted at the door with deep blue eyes and a tousled mop of blonde hair.

Peeta.

CH 7

With a tired, weary look on his face, Peeta hands me a bouquet of wildflowers and a paper bag. “Hi, can we talk?”

I bite my lip and nod.

Annie and Joanna mumble something about being hungry and they head out quickly.

I try to keep my nerves from showing, but I don't want to scowl either so I decide a distraction might be best.

I place the flowers in a vase.

Out of the bag, Peeta pulls out wine and cookies for us. I pour each of us a glass of wine and place them on the coffee table.

I can't help the smile the spreads on my face.

Peeta brought over things that are just “us.”

Finally we're seated for a conversation.

“How's your dad?” I ask.

“Better. Much better.” He pauses and takes a nervous breath before asking, “Katniss, why did you leave early?”

I make eye contact with Peeta then, looking at my glass, I down the whole thing and pour myself another.

Okay, now I'm ready for this conversation.

“It was real for me, Peeta, and you rejected me. I just needed a little time to bounce back. Don't look at me like that, you don't need to soften the blow okay?” I take another sip.

“WHAT?!” Peeta looks confused.

“I don't know when it happened, but it became real for me. I wasn't pretending. I thought it was changing for you too. Christmas was just. Wow.” I sigh, then shake my head to clear my thoughts.

“It hurt to be rejected. Why are you surprised by this?” I ask, drawing even more confusion between us.

He reaches for my hand and pulls me closer. I flinch, but I can't escape his gaze, or that look in his eyes. It's mesmerizing.

“When I hear your phone call, I thought... Well, I heard you say we were ‘just friends, that's it.’ I didn't really listen to anything else after that.” He's looking down now, sorrowful.

I remember saying that to Johanna, out of context that sounds cold.

His hand clasps mine tighter.

“So, when I said ‘I want to be with you?” I ask, sceptical.

“It didn't even register. God, Katniss, when you left, I just felt a hole in my heart. Then my dad told me what he heard. Your whole phone call. I didn't realize… I just didn't...” Peeta rubs his face and tries to organize his thoughts.

“First of all, you met my parents? I didn't have the greatest example of a fulfilling relationship growing up. I didn't know it could be that great. Dating you, having you as mine, even just for pretend was the greatest relationship I've ever had. You're smart, funny, sexy as hell, and we work so well together. I didn't think I deserved you. I didn't think I could have such a great match for me. Rye talked some sense into me. He explained that it was us together that made this amazing. That we're two pieces of a puzzle that fit together.” Peeta explains.

I'm listening very intently with every word, until he mentions puzzle pieces and my thoughts turn less innocent. Focus.

He smirks and leans in to whisper. “That I was an idiot, and I was denying both of us something amazing, but being stubborn and wounded wasn't doing either of us any good.”

I just stare, unable to speak.

Peeta brushes some hair out of my eyes and smiles. “I think I knew after our very first kiss. I was scared to fall so hard, tried to bury my feelings. I thought you were better off with someone else. I didn't know what it meant for you. When I saw you in college at Gale’s party I thought maybe that was my second chance, you know? After the pictures of us were floating around, I saw the look on your face, embarrassment. I thought I really screwed up, so I gave you space. Being your friend was safer.”

Peeta pulls me closer with a serious look on his face. “But now,” he continues with a lower raspy voice, “I can't let this, us, go. Not this time. I think I'm in love with you, Katniss Everdeen,” Peeta whispers.

Then, as if he can't hold back any longer, he leans in to take my breath away in a fiery kiss.

I lean in for another.

Peeta pulls away and looks scared. He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “I want always, Katniss. I want a future with you. You're it for me. If you don't think... If you don't feel the same… It might destroy me.” He looks down and sighs.

The past week flashes in my mind. The look in his eyes while we were ice skating. Hugging shirtless Peeta after the cocoa spilled. The longing for his kiss I felt after our snowball fight. Peeta's hand in mine as he gripped it for strength at the party. The way he held me after I broke down crying after missing my father. All our laughter. All the games. The antics. The longing I felt for Peeta Mellark when I thought I had lost him.

Rye’s words echo “I love her, I want her, and I need her. For the rest of my life. Always.” And “It’s in all the little things you aren't saying.”

Am I already there?

“Take some time to think about it?” He asks.

I nod.

Peeta stands and walks away.

For one heartbreaking instant, I think he's going to leave, but instead he walks to the brown bag he brought.

“In the meantime, grab your swimsuit, Everdeen.” Peeta gives me a mischievous look, before pulling two super soakers and swim trunks out of the bag.

“I checked, the pool is open. We're going swimming!” He grins and pushes me to the bedroom, and heads to my bathroom to change.

In my head, I replay every teenage fantasy of Peeta I ever had as I rifle through my clothes.

“There it is!” I say to myself.

I step out of my bedroom wearing my hunter green bikini, a different one than what I wore in my youth, but the sentiment remains. I barely have the door shut before Peeta pins me to the door and kisses me with such intensity that I'm dizzy.

Then, he hands me a super soaker and links our hands as if he didn't just blow my mind.

The grin on my face can't be contained.

As we walk through the hall to the pool, towels and his own super soaker in his other hand, Peeta asks “So would this be our second or third date?” Smiling at me, eyes twinkling.

I try minimize the blush on my face.

“Well, if ice skating was our first date, then would the party be our second date?” I ask, squinting at him.

“Hmm, seems lousy. What about Christmas, was that a date?” He says, kind of proud of himself.

“Well, with how the evening went, it kind of felt like a date.” I wink at him with a grin.

“So, this could be considered our third date then? Interesting.” Peeta says wiggling his raised eyebrows, as he playfully bumps my hip. We've reached the pool yet Peeta's eyes rove up and down my suit.

I can't hold back my laughter.

“Cool it lover boy.” I turn my water gun on him and squirt him square in the chest.

Peeta unleashes his own super soaker and it’s war. We laugh and chase, and dodge. I drop the water gun and attempt to wrestle Peeta into the pool, but he's a worthy opponent. Peeta has me wet in under a minute.

When we come up for air, my arms are wrapped around his neck. I can't take my eyes off this beautiful man.

I rest my forehead on his. Peeta plays with the end of my braid as we wade in the shallow end.

I'm brought back to the first time we found each other like this; dazed teenagers in Madge's pool.

“You might think I'm pushing this too fast, but we've known each other since we were kids. I think I fell for you that summer before College. Imagining my future without you, Katniss, is devastating.”

He paused thoughtfully, stroking my back gently. “You're going to see that a long term committed relationship is exactly what you want, and that we're better together. Once you realize that, I'm never letting you go and I'm going to marry the shi--,” I cover his mouth with my fingers.

“Shhhh. Peeta, I think I'm already there.” I stop Peeta's rambling. He nips at my fingers playfully, then his eyes widen and his jaw drops.

“It was Rye, actually. Hell, we need to give him a gift basket or something… Anyway, I was talking to your favorite brother and he told me about his own decision to marry Lila. How the look on my face said everything. He was right. Peeta, I'm in love with you. I-I never thought I wanted those things, but I want always with you.” I look at him seriously cupping his cheeks in my hands.

Peeta just stares back in disbelief, smiling as if I've given him the very sun.

When he kisses me I hope he never stops.

Somehow, we've made it to my bedroom. I'm dizzy with the hum of my body’s response to Peeta's kisses.

“When I first saw you in a swimsuit I wanted to touch you like this,” I murmur my confession.

I can't keep my hands from roving over every inch of his broad chest, muscular sculpted back, rippling abs. This gorgeous man is in a swimsuit in my bedroom.

“You have no idea how many fantasies I had of you like this in that bikini in my bed,” Peeta pants in my ear. The low husky tone his voice has taken does delicious things below my swimsuit bottoms. His hands are exploring me also, but some of it doesn't register.

I'm so excited by every inch of Peeta I can see. My fingers inch their way down his rippling abs, past the V of is torso to the waistband of his swimsuit and I tease the sensitive skin just inside while I suck Peeta's neck. I'm following this happy trail.

Hearing him sigh and pant in anticipation drives me wild.

I find his lips because I just crave his mouth on mine. Tongues collide and dance.

Peeta turns us over and his kisses trail down my neck and collarbone. I'm so delirious with the sensation I don’t realize my top being untied until I feel lips trailing to suck my nipple.

“Ah, they're perfect, Katniss!” Peeta whispers against my skin.

The panting and moaning that follow the sensation are so involuntary they don’t even sound like me. I didn't know I could make such a guttural noise. I am deliciously turned on and aware of every movement of Peeta's body on mine. My legs wrap around his waist in search of friction, more of… something.

I can't get enough of Peeta. I'm starving for him.

My hands find his muscular round legs and wander upward. He's so manly and chiseled.

Normally, I'm much more vulnerable and self conscious with my body, but I'm so overcome with wanting Peeta that it doesn't even concern me.

Finally, I can't handle how much I want him. I rip down his swim trunks. Little peeta springs fourth and he is glorious. The sight of Peeta naked takes my breath away. Clearly I had been drinking too much on Christmas to appreciate this masterpiece before me. My mouth waters.

I think I startle him with my aggression, because he's looking at me with raised eyebrows, jaw hanging, as I rid him of his suit.

I tease and kiss a trail up each thigh until I just can't take the anticipation of making Peeta moan. With the first swip of my tongue all the way up, Peeta’s breath hitches. I make eye contact as I continue to lick and suck. His eyes wide and dilated. Deep blue pools of desire. This man is SO sexy. I speed up my ministrations.

Peeta is panting and moaning something like my name. He pulls one of my legs, spinning me in a circle. I squeak and readjust. I realize the purpose of this when I feel Peeta’s magical hands trailing up my legs to my hot core, rubbing my slick folds and teasing me until hot kisses roam up my legs.

I stop my movements to catch my breath only to have it stolen away by Peeta's tongue lapping up my folds before plunging into my center. I moan and hum deep in my throat, my mouth waters, I suck and bob, teasing and “giggling his bells.”

Continuing my mission of blowing Peeta's... mind.

“Ooooooh, Katniss!” Might be the sweetest words of pleasure, stirring me to the very core. I'm shaking.

This isn't going to take much longer for either or us. The pressure Peeta adds, along with his moaning, sends me over the edge, reeling with waves of pleasure. I swallow as Peeta shouts. With the stars behind my eyelids, Peeta's blinding smile and blue eyes flash. Tears come to my eyes as I sing Peeta's name.

He lifts me into his arms and holds me tight while I catch my breath. Gentle kisses on my neck are accompanied with words of affection and adoration.

Our eyes meet, and I see the most intense look of love reflected in Peeta's eyes. As if to confirm that what I'm reading in his eyes is true, he kisses me passionately, pouring out the love he feels with a pressure and intensity that leave me dizzy.

His hands and eyes continue to explore and study my every curve and dip.

“God, I didn't know I could feel like this. Katniss, you're amazing!” Peeta whispers.

“Takes two to tango. Do you know how sexy you are?” My voice comes out more raspy then I expected. I smile and play with his hair.

He shakes his head and grins, eyes twinkling, like a boy who just opened his Christmas presents.

His hands are wondering between my legs again. When my breath hitches, he studies my face. Asking permission. “We can stop here if you want.” he whispers, trailing kisses down my neck.

I smile and shake my had no, I don't want to stop. With a mischievous look, I do my best imitation of his own smirk, I tell Peeta “The only sleigh I'll be riding is--,”

I'm cut off by his lips. We're laughing between kisses.

A brief contraception conversation settles it.

Our other encounters have been rushed and lustful. This is more meaningful and vulnerable. I bite my lower lip, our eyes connect and say all the little things we mean to each other without words. This is love.

Peeta leans up to capture my lips. Electric surges through my whole body from where our lips connect. His eyes widen. He felt it too. I settle myself over him and spread my legs. Peeta gets that smoldering look. The crackle in the air is electric. Anticipation.

As if something has snapped, Peeta is all over me. Igniting me. With every touch, every caress, it's as if sparks fly. A smoldering fire builds. I fist Peeta, aline us and slink down. With our first connection my breath is taken away. Peeta's deep voice moaning my name sends a buzz through me that makes me dizzy. Our movements build. It's a blur of rhythmic rocking, waves of ecstasy, moans and sighs. I can't even focus on just one sensation.

The things Peeta's body can do!

Our loving making is passionate and consuming. Evoking deeper feelings of love I didn't know I had buried within me. Peeta rocks my world again, buried deep inside me. The connection felt something like introducing my other half. Feeling a wholeness I can't even describe, leaving me enlightened. The world as I know it has changed.

“I love you.” Peeta whispers in my ear.

After 3 rounds of the best sex of my life, maybe the best the world has ever seen? Peeta and I are emotionally and physically drained. We curl into each other's arms and fall fast asleep.

“Woah, Katniss. Are you doing this in your sleep?” Peeta whispers, amazed and amused.

I open my eyes to find I've been dry humping the man in my bed. Emulating the dream I was having of making love to Peeta.

“Uh, yeah.” I answer, embarrassed as I pull into a more innocent cuddle in Peeta's arms, trying to keep the heat flowing through my body under control.

Peeta seems thrilled. He kisses my cheek and sighs. “Oh no, don't be embarrassed! You're a wild one, Everdeen. I thought I was dreaming.”

We slip back into a blissful sleep.

I wasn't ready to elope like Peeta wanted to, but I understand after everything he went through with Cashmere, and our fake relationship, why Peeta wanted a long term commitment.

On New Year’s Eve, Peeta took me for hot chocolate in town, and we strolled through the displays of ice sculptures carved by local artists. I stopped at a more plain looking one. It was a question, written in cursive on an ice block. Four words.

I smiled. “Peeta look! Someone's going to…”

I turn and find my blue-eyed Peeta, down on one knee, holding his grandmother's pearl ring meant for a very important finger.

With tears in his eyes, he poured out his heart out to me, beautiful words of love, memories and laughter together, words of a future, of always.

I realized he probably already had my heart. From our very first kiss, I was a goner for Peeta Mellark.

Words are Peeta's thing, not mine so, as he waxed poetic, my answer was: “You had me at cookies and super soakers.”

He looked confused, then laughed.

“Is that your way of saying yes?” Peeta’s words are teasing but his eyes are full of hope and apprehension.

I ruined his sweet romantic moment, I had better bring it back. I sigh and pull back the mask of humor I wear as armor.

“I want forever with you Peeta,” I answer surprising myself.

We embraced and kissed passionately.

As Peeta placed the ring on my finger, the crowd I didn't realize had gathered around us started cheering. I tried to ignore a few flashes of cameras --one turned out to be Peeta's that he had Thresh take.

I turn to face the crowd and I’m met with familiar faces. Thresh, Rue and Prim’s smiles first as they were in on the plan. Then my best friend and his beaming new fiance, standing next to my roommate, elbowing Annie who's wiping tears out of her eyes while Peeta's best friend gives a thumbs up with a mile wide grin.

My family is all here to celebrate. We all agree to go to the Hob down the street for soup and sandwiches.

Peeta laces our fingers together and strokes the pearl with the thumb of his other hand. Then, he looks up at me with a smile that makes me go weak in the knees.

The entire world fades away as I'm taken captive by his blue eyes that speak depths of love and years of adventures ahead.

The End. Happy Holidays!

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