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casually-slips-into-coma · 4 months

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spoilers for iwtv s2e4

my thoughts after a rewatch:

i know claudia hates the baby loves window play but she ate up that little song

the lulu role really is so humiliating :(

louis’ expressions whenever he watches these plays always kills me lmao he hates theater kids

louis and armand talking over each other to daniel

armands theater notes lol

claudia no eyebrow big eyeliner look is kinda cunty ngl

im a fan of sam the irish vampire

making claudia be lulu all the time oooh armand i hate u so bad

almost threw up watching louis and armand give different answers to the companion question IN FRONT OF THE COVEN that shit was so embarrassing

i wouldve kms if i was armand

vamp catfight

armand stuck in this situationship dont worry king we’ve all been there😔

literally telling each other i love you and still having the what are we conversation

“do you notice how hot the room gets when you two talk about the secret” plsssss

louis only able to use the fire gift when hes angry👀👀 gee i wonder if thats gonna come back👀👀👀👀👀

louis going🤨🤨 to the schizophrenia question like it came out of nowhere

armands face while louis talked about dreamstat why not just shoot me in the head

loving these dutch angles whenever daniel dissociates and gets an armand memory

santiago looks so good in the gold suit? robe thing??

claudia santiago friendship is killing me santiago i know what u are

claudia killing the guy singing baby lu

i like that you can tell claudias french has gotten better. nice small detail

i love scenes of louis and claudia just talking about non vampire things

santiago mimicking louis was pretty cool

buffoon sighting!!!

whole dinner scene bangs

the guy saying theres smth “fragile” about armand in the photo louis took and louis saying “no he’s anything but” and then the guy saying “you’ve captured the soul he hides” 🤌🤌

louis would never survive a 4 hour art school critique

daniel telling a girl he’d only do her if she had a paper bag over her head??????

claudeline truthers how are we feeling

context for the eating paper clip in the trailer

romeo!!

armand is so down bad its sick

madeline tailoring a yellow dress for claudia😟😟

the whole claudeline interaction was great

amadeo☹️🔫

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!

the way armand talks about marius

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF x2!!!!!!

“no one has painted me in 400 years” fuck

madeline period blood moment. theres so much here about femininity and maturing might make a separate post about this scene

armand pinning claudia against a wall armand i hate you so bad

we already know that armand is powerful but seeing him choke and manhandle santiago really solidified that i think

picked another one over me!!

delainey is ACTINGGGGG

louis not believing claudia about armand ooooh louis i hate you so bad

love makes you stupid clock it

louis still referring to claudia as his daughter in his head (thru dreamstat)

louis just actively talking to himself girl do that in your head

park bench moment <3

“wanker” i giggled sorry

that suit is his favorite on him :(

“im a little wet” and armand instantly pulling out an umbrella, armand lighting his cigarette, armand calling him maitre

louis calling him arun and armand calling him maitre and then louis throwing away the lighter this fucking scene is cinematic art

the other coven members calling santiago maitre

i kinda like that daniel can hear them arguing from another room. i feel like its a very human experience? really domestic? even given the circumstances

armands eyes were never brown!!!

san francisco flashback episode might kill me im not kidding

insane way to end the episode

ok this was much longer than i thought it would be but this episode has a lot in it. each episode gets better and better and this is definitely my favorite of the season so far.

i am LOVING louis and armands relationship and also both of their story arcs and characterizations. their dynamic is kind of the opposite of what i, and i think a lot of other people, expected but it still makes total sense and im enjoying it a lot

god i love this show

#iwtv spoilers #interview with the vampire #vampterview #louis de pointe du lac #the vampire armand #loumand #iwtv s2e4

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socialoutsiderwritings · 1 year

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Always, Only. You 29.2

Talia had taken Y/N in to her pack after your parents and their pack were brutally murdered. For years she trained and learned under Talia alongside Derek , Laura and Cora. One night Talia tells you along with Derek that you two have to imprint on each other , to become each other’s mates. Your connection to Derek has always been stronger than his to you. So after the fire it killed you to be away from him , but you had to do it for your own survival. 7 years after the fact , you return home. Back to Beacon Hills. But the Derek you return to is not the same Derek you know. Will Y/N ever get Derek to accept the fact they are meant to be together?

Penthouse

"You live here?" Brett asked as you three walked into Deucalion's penthouse. "Alone?"

"No," you answered, closing the door behind you. "My place is too small. Deucalion left me the keys, lease is under my name and he's paid for the rest of the year so." You shrugged. "It's home for now."

Lori, Brett's sister turned around with a grin on her face. "Thank you for letting us stay with you." She thanked you for the hundredth time again.

"Dont thank me yet. Thank me when you're safely back with your pack."

Lori glanced at Brett almost disappointed. You decided not to acknowledge it. It would be safer for them in the long run if they didn't attach themselves to you.

"Anyway, there are two extra bedrooms in the back. Take your pick and, uh, don't worry about what was left behind. The owners wont miss it at all."

********

You stood under the shower head, allowing the cold water to cascade down your skin. Although you were exhausted, you had barely gotten any rest last night. You were up all night thinking about everything. Hunters, Stiles, Oni, Nogitsune, and the uneasy feeling something big was coming.

What worried you more was your newfound status. You were always part of a pack, never the one leading one. Even though this was only temporary, it would be a matter of time before more came. And then you'd have to step up. You just wished you didn't have to do it alone.

“Good morning.” Lori greeted you. She was at the stove placing the food on a plate. “I hope you dont mind. We helped ourselves.”

“Good morning.” You greeted back. Brett was at the table already eating. "Morning," you greeted him. You turned your attention back to Lori, "not at all. Help yourselves to whatever." You walked over to the counter to begin preparing your cup of coffee.

“Shouldn’t you two be leaving for school soon?”

"Devenford Prep is holding lacrosse tryouts today." Brett answered. He got up to put his plate in the sink and then leaned back against the breakfast counter to look at you with his arms crossed.

You glanced at him over your shoulder, "Ok? What does that have to do with school?"

"Everything." He stated plainly.

You frowned as you finished preparing your coffee. You turned around now to face the two teenagers. You looked over at Lori first. She gave you an apologetic look before standing up and walking over to put her own plate in the sink.

“Uhm, ok?” You sighed. “You can take my car. Just be careful, ok.”

"You know Devenford Prep is on the other side of town, right? I dont know how to drive." He stated matter of factly.

You sighed, growing annoyed. "Devenford is a private school, right? Why are they holding open tryouts?"

"They need lacrosse players." He explained. "I can get in on scholarship."

"Using your werewolf abilities? Thats cheating."

"Not if I worked hard." He stood up straight and uncrossed his arms. "Four months ago I didn't know anything about lacrosse. I know I can get in on skill alone."

You smirked as you looked at Lori. You had to admit, you admired his confidence a little bit. She nodded at you, as if agreeing with her brother. "Ok. Let's go then."

*****

The car ride to Devenford Prep was awkward, to say the least. You could still sense a bit of hostility from Brett. Lori, on the other hand, tried to ask you more about yourself. But whenever the conversation started to get a little too comfortable for Brett's liking he would butt in to change the subject or just look at Lori to get her to stop talking.

Out of the two, you figured Lori was the best to talk to. You had already agreed to take them in for the time being. But you wanted-- needed to know why Deucalion put so much effort in convincing them to come to you and not Scott.

You and Lori sat side by side on the bleachers, watching as the coach spoke to the teenage boys. You were a little nervous for him for some reason. You could tell the other students had an issue with him trying out as well. As the boys broke the huddle and moved further away from you, you decided now was your chance to find out.

"So, what sparked his sudden interest in lacrosse?" You casually ask Lori.

She shrugged, "boredom, I guess. He watched a game once and started practicing the next day."

"Why play for Devenford? Does your school not have a lacrosse team?"

"We do. But Brett says this school would be better."

"Oh." You stated. "Whats wrong with your school?"

"I don't know. Brett's pretty popular."

"What about you? Are you…pretty popular?"

Lori shrugged. "Not...really. But its ok. I have my brother...well had my brother. I know he's going to get in." She smiled.

"It doesn't bother you? At all?"

"No. Why would it?"

"I don't know." You answered, questioningly. "If he gets in...where does that leave you?"

"Brett's always watching out for me. So in a way, I think he might be doing this for me, too."

"Really?" You asked now curiously. "What about your parents?"

"Our parents died in a fire a long time ago." She spoke slowly as she looked down at her hands, already fidgeting with her fingers. "Satomi took us in when she found us. She's great, but Brett has always been the one taking care of me. We're all we have left, you know." She finally looked at you.

"Yeah," you nodded sympathetically. For a moment you pictured Derek's face. "I know exactly what you mean."

You turned your attention back to the tryouts. You spotted Brett on the right side of the field, alone. Across from him you noticed four boys glance at each other. The coach hasn't blown the whistle yet and the four boys rushed at Brett knocking him back a few feet.

"Oh shit." You whispered.

The coach blew the whistle and ran towards the boys. You watched worriedly as Brett removed his helmet and then quickly got up to face the four boys. The biggest of the boys took off his helmet laughing and high-fived the other boys. Brett slowly walked towards him.

"Oh no. He's not gonna wolf out, is he?"

"He's mad but he wont fight." She stated. "He doesn't believe in violence, unless he really needs to."

Brett laughed at the four boys and put his helmet back on. You watched the boys get back in to position for their play. You were now eager to see what he was going to do. The coach blew the whistle again and this time Brett took off. He easily avoided each of the boys as they rushed him, trying to stop him from reaching the goal. The bigger of the boys stood his ground in front of the goal. Brett picked up his pace, used the side of his body knock the kid on his back and scored.

The rest of the tryouts, Brett had the other boys out of breath and tripping over their own feet.

********

Brett walked out in to the living room as he dried his hair with a towel. You noticed him as you shut the dishwasher door. "It was really generous of them to give Lori a scholarship." You said out loud to get his attention.

He only glanced at you but didn't say a word. He looked over at the sofa and then around the living room in confusion.

"I took your uniform to the dry cleaners." You told him. "And thats for you." You gestured to the new lacrosse gear. "A gift.. for making it on to the team."

He looked at you a bit taken aback. "Thanks.." he replied. He then grabbed the lacrosse stick to examine it.

"Is she the reason you learned how to play?" You walked out of the kitchen towards the living room.

"She was having trouble making friends at our old school." He answered. "They were bullies. I didn't want her to keep going through that." He set the lacrosse stick down and grabbed the helmet.

"Really? You never thought of, you know, doing something to stop them? Why go through all the trouble of learning a sport you were never interested and trying out for a different school?"

Brett set down his lacrosse helmet and stared at you. "It wasn't trouble." He told you. "I did it because I wanted to do it for the both of us. Teaching those losers a lesson would have been too easy. They aren't worth it. Trust me." He was a little angry now.

"Oh-ok." You hold your hands up to mean no harm. "I was just curious. I mean it must've made you upset when you first found out. I hear you two are pretty close."

"Yeah."

"How did you deal with it? You've got quite a hot head on you, I noticed."

"Me?" He scoffed with a smirk. "You want to know what makes your scent strong? Your anger."

"Ok, fine." You crossed your arms. "I'm asking for advice here, kid. Watching you during the tryouts, kind of had me thinking maybe Deucalion had another reason of sending you to me. Besides us having a few things in common."

"Like what?"

You sighed. You weren't sure if this kid was actually oblivious or if he enjoyed having you practically beg him for help. "Control. Without using anger. Better yet, controlling my anger."

"Satomi taught us how to meditate. We use a mantra."

"Can you teach me?"

Brett looked stunned at first and then nodded at you. He gestured for you to help him move the furniture to create a big enough space in the center of the room.

"Why do you want to learn how to do this?" He asked you. "Do you really think that's why he convinced us to come find you?"

"I've developed a bit of an anger issue." You halfheartedly joke. "I don't know, it's just a guess really." You finished moving around the furniture and sat in the center of the room across from Brett.

"I was taught anger is the best emotion for control. It's easier. So you could imagine how many angry individuals i've been around growing up." You chuckle softly. "I cant run away from what I am. No matter how much I would like to.” you admitted.

"Beacon Hills is really going to need more than one protector. So if I'm going to embrace what I am.. I want to do it my way. Not out of other people's fears."

Brett nodded in acknowledgment. "It took Lori and I months to master it. So don't feel discouraged."

You giggled slightly. "You sound like you've taught this before."

"No," he shook his head, "never. I just remember how I felt when I started. I was easily frustrated. I really tried to fight it; fighting it just made it worse." He then inhaled a breath and closed his eyes. "Start with a clear mind."

You copied him. He took another set of deep breaths and then, "what three things cannot long be hidden?" He asked quietly. You weren't sure if you had to answer at first until Brett answered himself, "the sun, the moon, the truth." A deep breath.

"The sun, the moon, the truth." you repeated.

"Slower." He instructed. "What three things cannot long be hidden?"

"The sun," you answered this time, slowly, "the moon, the truth." A deep breath. Brett got quiet but you could still hear him taking his breaths. So you did the same. It took a while but you felt your body relax, as if you were melting away.

"Now think about the things that have made you angry. Triggers." he spoke softly. "Spark your anger and then use the mantra to calm yourself." He spoke calmly.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" You kept your eyes closed. You were worried now, but somehow your body remained relaxed.

"I trust you."

You inhaled a deep breath. Then you thought back, on every occasion you have gotten angry. The fire, Talia and Deaton, Deucalion, Jennifer, Kali and Ennis. You inhaled another deep breath. Your heart began to beat faster. "The sun, the moon, the truth." You chanted quietly. "The sun," a breath, "the moon," another breath, "the truth."

Then your mind drifted to Derek. You thought about earlier, before you shifted. Somehow, remembering the incident now, it didn’t make you angry. Instead, it hurt. It made you sad. You repeated the mantra in your head again.

Then more memories with Derek flashed in your mind. Special ones. You inhaled a shaky breath. You imagined Derek's hands all over you, you were practically starting to feel them. The warmth of his palms gently caressing up your arms, to softly graze down your back. The way he'd squeeze you gently just to feel you closer to him.

"The sun," you mumbled, your breathing getting heavier as you remembered the feeling of Derek on top of you, "the moon. The truth."

You were startled out of your daze by big hands grabbing your shoulders. You opened your eyes to see Brett staring at you, awkwardly. Your eyes trailed from his eyes, down to his lips, to his neck then back up to his eyes. Realizing what you were feeling, you closed your mouth and gently pushed him away from you.

"I think that's enough for today."

Brett chuckled and helped you up to your feet. "Sounds like someone needs a cold shower."

You glared at the young man. "I'm going to pick up your uniforms."

**********

The voice in your head was screaming, begging you to turn back. But your body had a mind of its own. Before you realized where you were going, you were already in the elevator going up to his floor.

You stepped out of the elevator, made your way to his door and knocked. After a minute or so there was no answer, so you knocked again. The door slid open. You heart was pumping, eager to see Derek.

"Peter." you were surprised to see him.

"Y/N." He was just as surprised as you were. Without a warning, Peter grabbed you and embraced you in a tight hug.

You froze at first, then Peter's scent filled your nostrils. Your eyes fluttered closed and your hands felt up his back and you grabbed his shoulders. You turned your face inwards to the crook of Peter's neck and inhaled his scent again. His scent was intoxicating, it was making you feel warm inside, you accidentally let out a low whimper as indulged in Peter’s scent.

Peter noticed and he leaned away a bit to look at you. Your faces were so close you could feel his breath fanning your face. You gripped tighter at his shirt, pulling him closer to you. He brought one hand up to caress your cheek, then to the temples of your sunglasses.

You immediately turned away as you felt him pull the sunglasses from your face. "Uhm," you gently pushed him back as you stepped away from him and pressed the sunglasses back up the bridge of your nose, "is Derek here?"

Peter cleared his throat. "yeah," he answered. He gestured you to enter the loft. He didn't say anything else as he slid the loft door shut behind you.

"Peter," You heard Derek's voice first and then he appeared descending the spiral staircase. "who was at the door?" He froze when he saw you descending the stairs towards the center of the loft.

You looked around the room, "is Cora here?" You already knew the answer though. You began stripping yourself of your jacket as you approached Derek.

"She's out with Erica and Isaac. They're actually looking for you," he spoke slowly, watching you carefully. "Is everything ok?"

You were already in front of him. "Fine." You all but whispered, you wrapped your arms around his neck, instinctively Derek placed his hands on either side of your waist. Derek's scent was different from Peter's. It wasn't intoxicating. It was fresh, nostalgic; almost like home.

You slowly leaned in, Derek noticed and grabbed your waist to pull you in and kissed you. The tiny hairs on your body stood up as if your body had been ignited with electricity as soon as your lips met. Without removing himself from you, Derek guided you towards the bed. When he hit the edge of his bed he spun around, still holding your waist, and laid you down on his bed.

You moved your hands down his chest to the hem of his shirt, to pull it over his head. Derek put his hands over yours to stop you and pulled back a bit.

"What?" you breathed.

Derek didn't say a word, instead, he grabbed the sunglasses and slowly removed them from your eyes. You allowed him but you kept your eyes closed. "Open them." he gently instructed.

"No."

"Y/N," he kept his soft, "open your eyes. Please."

You exhaled a deep breath and slowly opened your eyes. Derek stared down at you, one his hands cupping your face as he rubbed his thumb against your cheek. "I'm sorry."

You removed his hand from your face, went to gently grab him by the neck and pushed him to the side so you could straddle him on the bed. You removed your shirt and tossed it behind you.

"I didn't come here for sorry." You reached behind your back for your bra strap, undid it, and then slowly and teasingly pulled it off your body and dropped it next to you on the bed.

Derek swallowed dryly, as he lustfully looked at you and down your chest. He sat up a bit and removed his own shirt. He stayed here, hands reaching up your back as he pulled you in closer to kiss you.

You whimpered out when you felt him softly drag his nails down your back. "Fuck," you moaned, "Derek." Your hands found the button of his jeans, and you hastily worked on unbuttoning them

Derek wasted no time and did the same. He spun to lay you down on the bed again. In one quick motion he got his and your jeans and undergarments off and settled himself between your legs.

You breathed heavily as you watched him. He hooked his arms behind your knees and pulled you closer to the edge of the bed.

"Are you just going to stare?" You asked, losing patience. Derek softly chuckled. He leaned down, simultaneously slowly inserting himself as he kissed you. You let out a sigh of relief and wrapped your arms around his neck.

He thrusted himself in and out of you slowly. He moved one of his hands to the side of your head and gripped the sheets tightly and he buried his face in the crook of your neck. Your hand found it's way to the top of Derek's head and you gently pulled and tugged on his short hair, earning a soft(sexy) moan from him.

"Faster." you moaned. "Fuck, Derek. Faster."

He did as you told. He could feel you getting closer and he pulled back to look down at you. He watched you, listened, made sure he was giving you exactly what you wanted.

"Oh fuck," you whimpered. Yo stared up at Derek, his eyes glowed blue a moment as he rode out his climax with you.

He laid down beside you to catch his breath. He kissed your cheek, and pulled you in closer to him.

You turned you head to look at him, softly caressing his cheek. "I have to go." You whispered.

Derek blinked lazily. "Stay." He whispered. "Please," he breathed, "stay with me." Derek's eyes slowly closed, and you watched him quickly fall asleep.

You untangled yourself out of his grip and grabbed your clothes to get dressed. You searched his pants for his phone and typed your new number into his phone. You looked back at Derek sleeping on his bed. You deleted your number in his phone and put it back where you had found it. You looked back at Derek one last time before leaving and sliding the loft door closed behind you.

#derek hale #derek hale teen wolf #derek hale x reader #derek hale x reader imagine #derek hale x reader fanfiction #teen wolf #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf fan fiction #teen wolf fandom #peter hale x reader fanfic #peter hale teen wolf #stile stilinski teen wolf #stiles stilinski #scott mccall teen wolf #scott mccall #teen wolf masterlist #teen wolf fic

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plushipaws · 6 months

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I don't think im meant to host. Once our system found alastor (and kinda rebuilt him from the three alters he split into) he has been fronting most of the time and it felt natrual. I became his advisor the way other alters are usually mine. A lot of childhood memories are his. Sometimes hosts do just change over time but as soon as he started doing it again it was like. Oh thank god this is how it was meant to be.

I do think I have existed a long time and fronted even as a child but I think it was mostly him and I would advise him from the back seat the way many alters have done to me later. I think I was created for the advisor role and just had to become the host bc Alastor has very strong NPD and BPD traits (so i beleive whole system is NPD and BPD) that I was good at masking and we had to mask it. I think thats why plushi especially is kinda entirely preoccupied with being cute, non threatening, friendly, and not having needs of its own and existing to always be happy. Creature is focused on being a empathetic listener, helpful and solve peoples problems, and holding depression. We always felt like... kind of empty like, something missing, we should have more personality. I think we are smaller fragments and more specific role focused than we thought, oriented to survive abuse situations. We felt missing a person who we should be, and I think that was us subconsciously missing Alastor hosting.

Trauma caused Alastor him to split into more alters (he still is not a fusion of everyone he was but I think the others are ok being seperate and he likes how he is now) so we couldnt really find him until healing allow him to come together again, and the situation is safe enough I dont need to protect him anymore. We also accept our NPD and BPD and know how to cope with it enough to let him out and allow him to express symptoms in healthy ways.

Im still an active alter and will be around, though the two alters I am (i am a subsystem) switch who is awake more and my personality shifts depending on that, and its not been super plushi lately so it feels weird having this be our main, lol. But plushi will definitely be back, it was a lot of fun being paw and I know paw is still here. Just weird to go from plushi hosting to. There hasnt been a plushi around these parts in 30 days :0

We hope our friends and mutuals will like Alastor too since he will be fronting mostly and we will be around less as we switch to him hosting. He doesn't act quite like me though since I exist basically to hide him so if you don't we understand; he is a lot more openly narcissistic and low empathy which we know not everyone vibes with. (Hes also very openly flirty and kinky which may also put folks off but he understands boundaries and is Normal about them). Though we think we will be a prominent alter and still avalible often, but we don't want to host anymore. We did it for years and we weren't supposed to have to.

Don't worry we aren't going anywhere! We still front often but it used to be like... us usually and then maybe for 3 days tops another alter comes before defaulting to us, and now we may come for three days tops and default to Alastor. And my system members can post and talk online when awake even if not fronting. But Alastor's blog is definitely the most active hub for us rn.

Alastor is @radiostaticsmile

Thanks for reading

#serious post #save #plushi paws #tagging that so i can find this again and no talky tag #system things #plural system #alterhuman #host switching #personal

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hostilemuppet · 7 months

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ok so i didn't know who the rabbit was and went through the ragemption (?) tag and i LOVED IT. alexandrite is my favorite!!! but cpuld you explain a bit more about the please 🥺???

i would love to talk about regem it is my beloved brainchild 😈

regemption is the story ive been working on for several years (it turns 5 this june, which is scary to think about!) using a bastardised aesthetisised pop culture interpretation of christian mythology to talk about a lot of things, like morality and the concept of purity. i want to make it a webcomic some day, and it will be split into 5 "books", and an intermission story spread throughout

book 1: current title "heart and soul": follows jonah calinao, a 23 y/o depressed deadbeat who suffers a heart attack and goes to hell. somehow, they bounce back, because modern medicine is amazing, but this is the first time a human has ever seen the stony deep before being revived. satan (mostly referred to as "boss") sends one of her lackeys to "take care of them" and bring them back and thus maintain the natural order. she picks jade (representative of envy, middle of the road when it comes to sinners) who, upon seeing earth for the first time, isnt exactly that keen on going back. so jade makes a deal with jonah: she wont kill them if they at least TRY and get their shit together. which is a pretty cushy deal, all things considered! except jades situationship from hell (in the most literal context) isnt happy that her best-friend-slash-longtime-crush is mingling with the humans. especially when zircon decides that jade and jonah have gotten pretty close 🤔

book 2: "blood and bone": follows isaac bonner, a 25 y/o rich kid dissatisfied with life. when his on-again-off-again (mostly off) girlfriend dies, he considers ending it all, but is interrupted by what he considers divine intervention. it is, of course, from the other place. bloodstone convinces him that killing himself would be such a waste, he should just hand over his soul instead, and let someone with a will to go on take the wheel. initially unconvinced, she shows him all of her plans, why shes on earth and what she plans to do, and it might just be the adrenaline rush he needs to keep on living

book 3: "hope and pray": follows mary santoro, 24 y/o, jonahs ex-roommate (roommate through the first half of book 1. dont worry about it), nicest person youll ever meet. shes always had a passion for music, but passion rarely pays the bills, which she has a lot of. during one of her many dayjobs, she meets a few very odd individuals who are, for some reason, adamant that she has to join their band. even though its not the type of music she likes, they wear her down, and she agrees to at least check em out, but she soon realises that theyre not human, but they need her help. and one thing about mary is she can never turn someone down, no matter how much she wants to

book 4: "flesh and blood": follows jacob bonner (isaacs younger brother) and his best friend levi abraham as they uncover just what isaac had gotten up to the past few months. and why their cellar is suddenly locked up tight, with no key in sight. or why jacob frequently wakes up to screaming, only sometimes his own. or why their "new friend" looks so familiar, and whether levis right not to trust her

book 5: "survive and thrive": everything comes together. the culmination of the previous four books, with an epilogue to deal with anything that wasnt tied up in a neat little bow

intermissions: follow ruby and zebra jasper as they seek violent, glittery revenge on the one who wronged them, aided by pyrite, who jasper just cant seem to convince ruby is bad news

alexandrite is a minor character in book 1 (even though demons dont have families the way we do, alex and jade consider themselves as close to sisters as they can get), a supporting character in book 2, and should be a major character in book 5.

#ask #regemption

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kael-writ · 1 year

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CW: sexual violence and medical trauma

yknow, I wanted so badly to be able to entirely blame myself for bolting from the gyny yesterday. If it was just a problem with me, I can have total control of it.

but I dont think the way they handled it was ok. I had a crying panic attack about a vaginal exam and said "well it seems like I dont have a choice". They also knew I hadnt been to a gyny in 20 years. I barely looked at them. I hugged my body. It was really obvious I was very uncomfortable and scared and upset.

I think it would have helped a lot if they had done things to help me trust them - like say it was my choice, I could take breaks if I needed, and talked more about the procedure. Talked to me more about making me comfortable.

Also, I dont know that this procedure even WAS necessary when they were just "seeing for themselves" what the ER had already found.

Instead they just kinda said, we need to do this, and not much else- and then with two complete strangers staring at me, ordered me to undress from the waist down. Just like that, right there in front of them. They couldnt offer me a gown, to undress in private, or something? My last gyny was that long ago but I swear that's what she did then.

I panicked and bolted. And yes, I could have acted differently. Im not saying I dont have ANY responsibility or way to make the situation better. Im just saying, I think gynys ought to change how they deal with people who may be severely uncomfortable.

After talking to two female friends, BOTH of them mentioned feeling panic of the gyny. I bet this is really common, especially with young people.

When I was in the ER, and at Planned Parenthood, they did a lot more to make me comfortable and feel safe. I refused a pelvic at PP, and the lady did just kinda assume I was having a pelvic instead of asking, but they didnt push me to do it.

In the ER they presented it as my choice, they talked about taking breaks, they talked me through it, they offered breaks, they offered aftercare when I was crying and working on my breathing to prevent a panic attack. I felt safe, understood, and respected.

I was supposed to get my surgery from that hospital, where I had built trust, that week, and then insurance got declined. And that made me have to start all over. And this is hard.

It hurt to have to feel like I am not allowed access to a great care team because Im too poor, and being poor in part because of medical disabilities that include mental and physical chronic illness. What a sick joke. American healthcare.

I didnt even really go through any major sexual trauma, nothing that happened to me in terms of actual sex was even entirely non-consensual, just kinda not having my full consent fully respected the whole time and stuff like that. And stuff like getting groped at parties or whatever, frankly really normal stuff. I also do have some history of being mistreated by medical people in the past, mostly due to being queer and mentally ill. but nothing really major. I cant imagine what this would be like for someone who had survived something much more extreme.

The last person I trusted with my body I knew for a year, and he scared me very badly (trigger warning for this, but - he expressed a fantasy of killing me, during sex, out of nowhere. /TW). So why should I trust a woman I JUST met?

I want to survive, I dont want to suffer, I dont wanna get more disabled, I dont wanna lose my job. I am worried and scared, sad, exhausted, ashamed, lots of big feelings, I need help and support, and it falls on me to do this. I have therapy in a few hours, and I will come up with a plan. but I would like to not be the only one who learns from my experience. I would like some doctor somewhere to hear my story some day and learn.

#medical #ob-gyn #Planned Parenthood #patient care #TW SA #PTSD #chronic illness #healthcare is a right #medicaid #TW medical trauma #mental health #mental illness #obstetrics and gynecology #gynecology #DV #IPV

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solomonish · 3 years

Text

Dork Solomon Agenda

You say sexy shady sorcerer I say nerd and love of my life

Solomon is a sad lonely little man why just wants a genuine connection us that so much to ask???

No but seriously like. It's totally fine if you hc Solomon as this man-turned-lowkey-sex-god with a million succubi and more at his whim whenever he wants and would be a tough one to put the ol' ball and chain on like to each their own for sure! But that's not MY hc

(Thats not to say my hc means he doesn't ever engage in casual sex like that and wanting a genuine long term relationship at some point [or finding out thats what you want when you meet someone] are not mutually exclusive yknow)

So like Solomon isn't the type to be short with you or keep you at an arm's length (i mean...u get what I mean. Once you're close enough and all that jazz) or get annoyed by you wanting to be affectionate?? Hello??

He LOVES the little things you do (some on accident tbh). You feeling affectionate today and give him a kiss or three on his face before you leave to go to your separate classes? Adorable, he's fallen in love again. You do that thing where you like.. forget how to walk straight and just accidentally bump into him? No come back he likes being close to you :( He doesn't SAY these things but there's a light, airy laugh he has that gives him away.

If you're ever facetiming he will say "boo!" when you connect instead of just. Greeting you like a normal person.

His fuckin. His devilgram name is monSOLO. My mans is a star wars fan!!! I dont know any of The Discourse bc I'm not super into star wars myself but he has IN DEPTH opinions about the movies. Seriously rivals Levi in this aspect. Please make time for movie nights where you watch the movies together 🥺 especially if you haven't seen them before he'd love to convert you 🥺

Didn't Solomon also have a thing for TSL??? Or am I just imagining it??

I feel like his ideal date would be exploring something new, whether its this new spooky forest or "hey have we been down this alley before? Let's check it out!" but ideal date number TWO is movie night. Even if it isn't Star Wars. He likes to sit on opposite ends of the couch throwing popcorn into each other's mouths (and big candies like peanut m&ms where you both have almost choked before) and maybe a footsie war if he's feeling real devious. Then at some point you grab a blanket and snuggle up to him and you both fall asleep on the couch

Simeon yells at him when you leave because there's popcorn EVERYWHERE

LOVES when you laugh super loud. Idk man he just thinks its great when you have such unbridled joy and then he laughs too 😊 not as loud though he's more of a quiet chuckle kind of guy (most of the time).

Is friends with Asmo so is extremely great at slumber party gossip. Catch him in his pajamas, cross-legged on the floor while clutching a pillow to his chest and listening intently to you rant about the brothers.

"Come here I have a secret to tell you" (blows air in your ear) "okay okay I'm sorry but come here again" (blows air on your neck) "okay okay last time! I actually have something to tell you. Please? Its important...." (kisses ur cheek) "like u a lil bit xo"

Never the type to send "good morning beautiful" or "good night 💞" texts. Instead he'll send you something at 4 am like "the infinite cosmos will eventually swallow whole all familiarity and life as it is now presently known and despite the adaptations humans or demons or angels could make i will still have to adapt and face the world as an alien in the realm I love so dearly. Funny how the strongest of beings bow to the whim of space and time. But sometimes my eternal journey doesn't seem so daunting when I realize that with my everlasting life will be the memory of you no matter how distant and the survival of the vessel you loved...."

And then at lunch that day when the brothers pull you away he'll send you a picture of the lasagna they're serving with "this kinda looks like you? Don't worry I'd still hit it" and then two minutes later "you not the pasta"

Is the type to think randomly "oh damn I love you so much" but has an impressive filter about it. Or he thinks he does until Luke grumbles "ugh get a room thats the fifth time you've seen that since monday" ok, sometimes he has a good filter about it

He can't help it! Sometimes you just say something really smart (or something SPECTACULARLY dumb) or you do something cute like lean on him or smile a specific way or-

Sir.....you're head over heels sir :/

The type who would go to a playground at night with you and just swing on the swings talking about life

Wants to have a secret handshake with you!!

If you're ever on a road trip with just the two of you, you can get him to join in on the terrible singing but he'll be a lot quieter than you

Also will only join in if he isn't driving. If he is and you aren't talking, he's just humming underneath his breath. Will drum on the steering wheel though

Cooking

(Yes, it gets its own section because MAYBE I'm obsessed with the idea of MC teaching Solomon to cook and the food still turning out terrible but at least it isn't a void when MC is helping)

The type to flick water at you every time he washes his hands. Will chase you down just to do it.

"Hey, tilt your head back and open your mouth MC" (proceeds to dump too big a handful of shredded cheese in your mouth)

100% the type to lean over you just to hinder your cooking abilities. Who cares if the sauce splashes he's tiiiired.... you'd let belphie do it :(

Puts a hand on your lower back when he passes behind you. Hopes you'll lean into it/step back and offer him a kiss 🥺

Believes in always having a proper table setting. Prepare for whatever juice they have (or water) in wine glasses if you're having a nice-er meal

Under the assumption that a spell ruined his sense of taste (and not that he's just bad at cooking) he hates spicy food. He can feel the burn but he gets none of the flavor??? Wack. Don't hurt him like that MC. If you do because its hilarious to watch him try to be cool about it he will pout

Gets cheesy aprons. He just likes them.

Will hit you on the top of your head with a whisk to hear the noise it makes

Will buy every kitchen hack tool there is. A ketchup dispenser that looks like a gun? He's got it. A fish that helps you squeeze out the egg yolks? Yes! A dinosaur soup ladle? You bet! Pizza scissors? A tool that makes hard boiled eggs into cubes? Something that's gotta be like 200 years old and no discernable purpose? Absolutely! He wants a hot dog toaster. Do they even have hot dogs in the devildom?

Will sneak bites just because it bothers you

Overall

Look at him. He hasn't had friends in centuries. He's playful!

Look at his DEVILGRAM NAME

His funky little WAND

This is a man who is a huge nerd, thrives off of cliches and just wants to have a good time. So let him! Its mentally exhausting having those pretenses up all the time.

#solomon #obey me #solomon fluff #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #swd obey me #obey me solomon #solomon x reader #solomon hcs #mine #swd solomon #long post #??? i think it is #mobile formatting SUCKS

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toxicbubblegum212 · 3 years

Text

Maze runner boys ~When they need you most ~

Minho: “I hate this place...I shucking hate it. We’re all just here getting comfortable living with a bunch of lies.” You look over at Minho shocked “Minho...whats wrong?” you place a hand softly on his shoulder as your eye brows frown. “You don’t get it Y/n...you don’t get what it feels like running throughout that maze everyday. To run straight through hell then just have it appear right back in front of you...the glade is just as bad as the maze its self.”

“Minho..what has gotten into you!” your taken back at this point. Minho has never been like this not once. He was always so fun loving and positive. “The Glade is not the heavenly place it’s made out to be...the Glade is just to torment you, to abuse your own sanity. Ever since the moment all of us had appeared in that box we were already doomed.”

“NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME MINHO!” you stand up straight in front of him. “Why are you living in the past, why are you thinking about the future...enjoy the present. Where you have me..newt..chuck..thomas and everyone else in the glade. Why torture yourself with polluted fantasies. Focus on whats happening now Minho. Because Now is what matters.”

Minho looks up into you eyes. Minho had never seen you look more beautiful than in this very moment. You looked strong, determined and confident. You stood tall and proud. Your eyes glistens with hunger and desire, Minho never told you this but he looked up to you quite a lot. Your good with words, a smart thinker and an excellent leader. Minho loved you for that...even in the darkest of times you still lead and he would still follow. Till one day with you by his side..he will take your hand and lead the way. The way to a place more precious than the word itself..the way to your heart.

Newt: “Im done Y/n...im infected. Im sorry...” Newt’s peer’s down into your eyes. There glossy and are threatening to spill at any moment. “Why are you apologising?” you coo softly, bringing your hand up to his cheek. Newt’s tears start to slide “Because i failed..i failed you” Newt chokes out. He engulfs you in a hug, his hands gripping on your back tightly. Newt starts sobbing into your shoulder, you run your hand through his messy blond hair. “You haven’t failed me love...i never had any expectations. I just wanted you to be you...the person that i want to love. Being a crank won’t change that..” Newt pulls back surprised, he looks in your eyes and he see’s hope. “What are you saying love..” he says softly.

“How do you think i survived all those years alone..” you pupils dilated, your skin started to go pail and veins slowly creeped in. “Who said that it had to be the end...why not make it your own new begging...make it yours...and TAKE IT!” you look sternly into Newts eyes. There were no longer any tears. Newt wasn’t scared anymore, he knew everything was going to be ok.

Newt raised his hand to your sickly pail cheek, your once red roses lips now dark and faded. “You know love you still look just as beautiful as the day i first met you...even if you are a crank.”

“I don’t see problem in it love? Do you” you smirk up at him.

“Not at all..” Newt pulls you close hoping that this moment never end.

Timeskip

Newt eventually became a crank but there’s was still hope. You stuck by his side through thick and thin. Endured all of his pain and anger and now your both out there in a world thats gone to shit. Still just as in love with each other as you where before. Newt is happy and healthy again, you taught him how not to succumb too is rage and the virus itself. Your love created hope and it will continue to create hope...for a new world. Where there is no need for a cure where the flair doesn’t matter. Where both cranks and humans can live as one. You both look forward to seeing Thomas again some day.

Thomas: “You know maybe their right it is all my fault....” Thomas said looking down at the floor as he sat on the bed. You slowly walk over to him you raise your hand brushing it under his chin, lifting it up. “Whats wrong” you whisper, you know Thomas is in a lot of pain right now. “I miss him Y/n, i miss all of them...why do i have to go around and ruin everything. We could have stayed at the glade and been happy..and not lose anybody.” He cries into his hands, Thomas uncontrollably sobs, you wrap your arms around his shoulders as he cuddles into your chest. You push his head more to your chest as your arms rub his back and stroke his hair. “Don’t stop dreaming Thomas...dreams aren’t just fantasies..there what we want to be. You fought for freedom, equality, peoples hopes, dreams, love , passion...everything. Your the reason why now is a better place. Not just for us but for our future..our children there children and it goes on. You took on the world..did the impossible. So live it up...for Newt..Alby..Chuck and Gally. They don’t have this chance but we do.” you finish whispering. Thomas looks up at you with is cute dreamy eyes, you push some strands out of his face. Before kissing his forehead.

Gally: Minho and Thomas are seen dragging you back into the maze after being abducted by the Grievers. They were sure that you were dead..but clearly no.

They rush you to the med jack, carefully placing you down. You were unconscious, you had no injures at all not even a scratch. They decided to leave you alone and wait till you wake up. As they exit the hut Gally quickly enters...he had been so worried.

He gazes over at your limp body. You face was so still, calm and perfect like a porcelain doll, the light highlighted all your features. You plum lips, long lashes and messy hair. He proceeded to come closer laying a hand on your head as he softly caressed your hair. “What did they do to you?” he says out of the blue.

You groan opening you eyes “...im...im sorry but-t...i dont think i know you.” you say staring up at him a bit confused. Gally’s face dropped, his hearted ached..this could not be happening. “It’s me Y/n...this isn’t funny.” Gally said looking deep into your eyes. “Im sorry sir but i really have no clue..” Gally’s eyes watered, the tears soon started escaping. The most beautiful. person be valued above everything else was gone. All he has now is a shell of the girl he once had . A Girl that could kick is his ass in a brawl, the girl that would challenge him in ever way, the girl that drove him crazy and the only one who ever put him in his place. “Did i do something wrong..im sorry if i made you cry sir.” you picked up a cloth and began wipping Gally’s cheeks. He smiled a genuine smile, even though you have forgotten everything about him, you still treated him the same. You still looked at him with care in your eyes. Gally is determined to get you back and he’s gonna do what ever it take. His Y/n i still in there, he just has to go find her.

#the maze runner x you #the maze runner x reader #maze runner fluff #tmr #tmr chuck #tmr newt #tmr thomas #tmr minho #tmr gally #tmr alby #fluffy #sweet

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corpsentry · 4 years

Text

january: an art retrospective

i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)

so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.

at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.

january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.

january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:

on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests

the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th

this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.

january 11th. applied sketch

january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i

bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes

i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.

sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start

january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit

more applied studies

on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real

january 19th. i’m working on it.

january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.

january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud

january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned

26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies

january 1st. january 31st

The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)

ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings

FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????

here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.

the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)

take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.

or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?

so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.

this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.

here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages

and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.

this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.

this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.

thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end

#my stuff

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blookmallow · 3 years

Text

ok FINALLY heres the last. pile of stuff from deltarune sdgjgfg

sad

YES

oh my GOD im so glad they’re ok and apparently got back into my pocket again somehow

rouxls thou art an absoluteth liar

god i wish that were me

thanks ralsei for your wisdom

MAYBE NOT

i hate this thing but also the fact that i was given no say in whether to take it or not and it’s Here Now And There’s Not A Goddamn Thing I Can Do About It probably means kris either wanted it or wanted it to spite me or both and either way, well played, good for them lmfao

ive been waiting the entire chapter for this

gaslight gatekeep girldad

anyway i cant BELIEVE she isn’t actually lancer’s mom. maybe she is and is just being a brat about it but it doesn’t seem like it. why does she look SO MUCH like him and his dad. lancer acts like he takes after her already. like why would she NOT be his mom, toby, answer me this

though i did see someone’s theory somewhere that queen divorced lancer’s dad before lancer was. born. or. made. or whatever he is and wherever he came from. and she keeps, to this day, taking things in the divorce, long after the divorce. she took the kid in the divorce years after said divorce and it’s not even her kid sdgsdg

i definitely love that her immediate response to seeing lancer was just “alright ive just decided: im your mother now”

what the fuck is this about i need to KNOW

noelle’s dad just delivering an absolute one hit KO on his daughter here

MOM HOLY FUCK

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

THERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!! THERE THEY A R E

i was so fucking hype about napstablook i didnt even notice all the prisoners are the dogs from the walk up to snowdin fsdjgdsg

imprisoned for dog crimes

i dont remember what happened here that caused them all to get loose but i didnt get a chance to interact with them. oops. next time

i wont. for you, my beloved

i really like that somehow in this bizarre alternate world where even bratty and catty aren’t friends... somehow... napstablook still inexplicably became besties with undyne anyway

mixed messages here

deputy napstablook...................

napstablook and undyne buddy cop comedy when

i missed the shots of it apparently but thank you toby for allowing us a small scrap of alphyne as well

well, well, WELL, if it isn’t sans undertale

he won’t sell you anything unless you put it in a basket and the baskets are stacked so high its impossible to get them. this is a terrible store. i missed you so much

napstablook back... alphyne hints... sans running a ridiculous store again... soriel flirting... nature is healing

asgore oh my fucking god NO

i wonder why they divorced in this universe though since the whole. thing with the. y’know. human sacrifice. didn’t happen, presumably

i guess that probably means they were fundamentally noncompatible in some other respect even outside of that context/were never meant to be even in an alternate life

proud of you buddy but also deeply terrified of whatever’s going on behind the counter there

[slumps sadly against the door] please, i know you’re in there

I’m right out here for you, just let me iiiinnnnnn

my heart hurts im so worried about mettaton

like. presumably if he never met alphys. and. won’t come out. he’s probably still a ghost and never got his dream body. so he’s just hiding in there. please... honey darling sweetie gravy let me help you let me hold you

he said something like “show me something entertaining tomorrow” so im hoping with my entire heart that means we’ll be able to do something for him in the next chapter

im still really scared but toriel is still an icon

o K A Y

does this mean the next dark world is going to be made from toriel’s house. chariel is going to be a character now im calling it right here

anyway uh i have no fucking idea what’s going on still but this chapter was really good and even better than the last one and im finally like, proper invested in this

what is HAPPENING though like. its becoming pretty clear that the player is the Soul and is controlling kris, a separate being entirely, against their will. that’s why when they rip it out we can no longer control them or see where they go or what they do. but it clearly hurts them severely to tear it out and they can barely survive without it. and if we can assume kris was the one who slashed toriel’s tires... why?? that doesn’t make sense as something they would break our control over them to do

#lucy plays deltarune

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partangel · 3 years

Text

OK so i was here sitting, thinking about post apocalyptic settings and anyone who has ever been in contact with me for more than some minutes knows that i adore the concept of the land reclaiming whats hers in a sort of *conceited voice* eco brutalistic way. ill literally walk anywhere and see a building torn down with moss growing and ill waver behind it and say "that reminds me so much of nier". which is, in my humble opinion, a beautiful, beautiful game with incredible imagery and a gripping story. i think nier perfectly represents hope as something malleable and manipulated into existing. and it portrays a world in which humanity's life remnants are so profoundly embedded into the worlds last living... well, lets say, man made consciousness that it is impossible to have hope in the survival of earth if you do not believe humanity is still alive. i dont think im literate enough to ever jot down clearly and wisely what grips me into the nier automata universe, but it was the medium that made me understand my particular niche of what i do find engrossing in post apocalyptic fiction - when humanity is not present, but its absence does not equal to disappearence. its a lot more substantial than that... its absence as something significant and structured and that takes up space in what is left of the world. i do not find the survival of few capable humans a compelling or gripping tale.

BUT i reiterate, because recently i found something that actually engrossed me just as much as nier did, except it wasnt anything particular - it was imagery of a scene of a movie i actually found dauntingly plain and horrid. for some context in january i was looking for a good old sunday movie... and it was playing on tv the maze runner (1) so i invited my boyfriend and my little sister and we saw it together. i had seen the maze runner previously as a 14 year old or something so i did not find anything striking in the first one. no. but then next sunday came and i couldnt find anything to watch so i watched the second which was even worse with the exception: it had a party. an end of the world, drug frenzied party. the scene itself was barely 5 minutes but it stroke me as exactly what would happen if the world did end. if theres no hope, if theres no future, if theres nothing else for us and surely no future generation, its only feasible that humanity would crumble in and on itself into a hopeless cycle of indulgence. and i mean, its as everyone says, things only grip you if you can envision them happening. i can surely confirm that id be the first to put my feet into a post apocalyptic party whose main motto can be simplified as: its the end of the world, why not pop EVERY pill? i dont know what it is but the motifs... all the music and the ambiance and the people being so moody and hopeless and dying. i was instantly enamored with it.

but i also self analyzed a bit and i think this is also a warning to my own fractured self that can only envision humanity either falling into hopeless vices or disappearing completely. which is very worrying but alas im not particularly optimistic myself!

#if anyone knows media with these kind of themes... which are very specific... and probably for the second one itd be impossible to #conceptualize into anything bigger than that 4 mins scene.... well... id be thankful what can i say

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earth-to-taz · 3 years

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do you write drabbles n stuff? if so can you do a wolfstar one?

brooo i literally just saw this i'm so sorry but yeah i can do that. sorry if it sucks ass LOLZ

Sirius smoked. Everybody knew that. Some even said it added to his charm. Sirius just said that he needed a couple cigarettes if he was going to even survive with his shitshow of a family. If he didn’t, Sirius very well might have actually exploded out of stress and rage and hate and that was not something Sirius had an intention of doing. Because one, it didn't seem like very much fun, and two, he’s probably miss Remus too much. Which is stupid to even think about because he was in so deep it was embarrassing.

Suddenly, every little thing about Remus became unbearable. Everytime Remus took one of his jumpers off and his shirt rode up a little bit, Sirius had to brutally stomp the urge to press his lips to the sliver of skin that showed. Everytime Remus’s tongue darted over his bottom lip Sirius had to stop himself from doing the very same thing to Remus with his own tongue. Everytime Remus got so involved in something that his hand talked with him and his eyes shone brighter Sirius had to remind himself not to reach over to across from him and kissed Remus until his lips were red, until they both were breathing hard, until their eyes were lidded and they couldn’t help but kiss again. But Remus was straight almost definitely because he went out with that pretty Ravenclaw girl the other day, the same day Sirius tried very hard not to be jealous and failed spectacularly. But then again, as far as Remus knew, Sirius was straight too. Sirius rubbed his knuckles into his eyes and let out a sigh. Jesus. He needed a smoke.

He moved over to the window and propped it open with one of Wormtail's books. Sirius dug his hands into his trousers, searching for a lighter. He lit the cigarette, holding it almost reverently as to not let any wind blow the small flame out. He scoffed at how he could hold something so gently, and then use the same hands to punch and pull at hair and flip off. How ironic. Sirius inhaled on the cigarette and went back to thinking about Remus, because why wouldn’t he? Thinking about Remus is always a good idea. Pretty, pretty, Remus with his oversized jumpers, and chocolate stains on everything, and the way he always seemed to smell like old books and parchment. Remus and his pretty, pretty, face; his wide eyes and blinding smile, and his mouth that always had something to say. It’s a very nice mouth, that Sirius would drop everything for if he could kiss it just once. Sirius exhaled. And then the universe, as if it hadn’t had its fill of laughing at Sirius's life, decided to have Remus come back from the library at the exact time that Sirius is thinking of Remus's lips. Any conversion Remus would try to have with him would be futile because Sirius would be too busy staring at said lips for him to even say anything. It would be incredibly embarrassing.

“Hey,” Remus said and Sirius took him in. He looked more exhausted than usual, but that was probably due to the full moon coming within the next couple of days. Still, there was a weariness about him that Sirius couldn't place. He inhaled, and then decided to go for a grunt as a way of greeting. He was tired too, tired of acting like he wasn’t halfway in love with one of the best friends he’s ever had. It got exhausting. He exhaled.

“D’you think we could share that?” Remus asked, gesturing to the cigarette, “I've got a lot on my mind and could use a break.” Sirius's brows furrowed. Remus smoked? Then they furrowed more and he probably looked stupid. Remus had a lot on his mind? What’s going on?

Sirius handed the cigarette to Remus. “I didn't know you smoked, Rems. And you have a lot on your mind? Why? What happened?”

“I don’t, I mean I try not to. But I'm just,” Remus sighed. “So tired. And it’s so simple, y’know? You don't have to think about anything.” He inhaled and closed his eyes. Remus kept the smoke in his lungs long enough that there was probably a burn, then he exhaled. And Sirius, seeing him there, pink lips around the cigarette, watching a weight come off his shoulders with each exhale, really, really wanted to kiss him. He guessed he would, because technically it was an indirect kiss and suddenly this was a terrible idea.

They smoked in silence together, each taking turns at holding the smoke in their lungs for almost too long before letting it out. It was nice how he could just be with Remus without having to worry about anything. For what seemed like years, Sirius's heart beat too fast, and every touch between them felt scalding, and Remus looked so perfect Sirius could cry. Not a new thing.

Remus passed him the cigarette. Their fingers brushed and Sirius had to stop himself from taking Remus's hand in his own and never letting go. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

Remus gave him a look. “Dont play dumb.”

“I’m not. You said you had stuff on your mind. What was it?” It was a cheap job at deflecting, but Remus pretended not to notice. Sirius inhaled.

“I dunno Sirius, it’s just that…” Remus screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. “Idontthinkimasstraightasithought.” Sirius sputtered on his exhale.

“W-What?”

“Gimme that,” Remus said and he snatched the cigarette out of Sirius’s hands.

“Y-You’re not straight? But didnt you go on a date with that girl the other day?”

“Yeah, and I hated it Sirius. It was awful. I’d rather date a Wormtail than do that again.”

“Oh, wow. So you’re..” he trailed off, as to let Remus finish.

“Gay. Probably. I think. All I know is that I'm not straight.”

Since Remus came out to him, he only thought it courtesy to repay the favor.

“Cool. Me too.” this time, Remus sputtered on the exhale then passed the cigarette to sirius. They were almost at the filter, now.

“O-Oh, ok. Ok. nice. So what are you, then?”

“Bi.” Sirius inhaled, and it left his eyes watering. Exhale. Sirius put out the cigarette, and he could feel eyes boring into his head. A quick glance to his left and he caught Remus staring. Interesting.

“What, did you want another one? I can get you one if you want.” Remus's gaze dropped a tad bit lower, and oh god. Remus was staring at his lips. Like he wanted to kiss them. What the fuck.

“No, it’s fine,” Remus said, still staring at his lips. “Have you ever kissed a guy?” Remus asked, and he sounded almost breathless. Sirius nodded. “A couple. Why?” Remus finally, finally, met Sirius's eyes. “D’you think you could kiss me?” Sirius's eyes buggered out of his head, and Remus did damage control. “I mean you don’t have to if you don't want to, of course, it’s just that I’ve never kissed a guy before and I wanted to at least try it so that i could know for sure if-” Sirius cut remus off with a kiss, and it was everything he hoped for and more. Remus’s lips were soft and warm against his, if not a little chapped, and he tasted like cigarette smoke and the fancy chocolate that he liked, and it was perfect. Remus’s hands were in his hair while Sirius's hands were on his hips rubbing circles onto his stomach. Eventually, when they had to come up for air, Remus looked just like he did in his daydreams, with labored breathing and lidded eyes.

Sirius offered him a smile and got one in return.

“So, are you sure that you’re gay now?”

Remus’s smile turned flirtatious. “Y’know, I'm really not all that sure. Maybe you should kiss me again so that I can be.”

And kiss him again Sirius did.

#HAHAHAHAHAH #i speedran this #hope you like it?????#ok bye tumblr #wolfstar #sirius x remus #harry potter

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jung-koook · 3 years

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Hello sky!! This is the monbebe anon, I am here to reply to the anon who asked about how did we survive changkyun and his piercing haha. Hmm I want to say the first like two months everyone was going ajdjakdjaj *passes out* after that we got used to it but that didn't mean we didn't fanboy or fangirl over the sight each time we saw it. Alas it only lasted a year so Eyebrow piercing you will be missed, never forgotten. (As to why, I sadly don't know as I don't believe he answered this? And if yes I am sorry, I sadly am not too deep within the fandom, it is hard to be an army, monbebe, and many other at the same time haha.) I believe it also was a fake one or we all assumed it was fake until we saw a selfie and cue chaos in the fandom.

But you think that was the END of chaos from this man? Oh no, then came some tattoos in between (he has a few? I want to say like 4 if memory is correct. One on his wrist and the rest are on his back) , him posting without a shirt in photoshoots, his rap lines making us go KO (he legit confirmed he likes making fans go crazy over his lyrics so make that with what you will) oh and his long hair. (He cut it recently so it will be missed as well). All while giving us a lovely first mixtape as well! So all in all, it is like the meme where it is a dog sitting in fire saying 'everything is fine' what's funny to me is both jungkook and changkyun are the youngest for both of their groups? XD so like is this like a maknae thing? Lolol

Also to finish up this ask because it is getting long, again jungkook and his piercing is real. The bar proves that but as I said, I think due to how he placed it and his Eyebrow shape might make things look a bit weird for some people. Even if it is true, let's not pressure him to talk about it. If he wants too, he can or if not then that is also alright ya know? Also, also, thank you to the anon and also you sky for like, not slapping me with a fish for mentioning somone that isn't bts. I know it can be annoying but I only brought it up as an example of another idol that I knew who had an Eyebrow piercing and was a bit worried some would think I'm doing this for drama or something. So again thank you for being all chill, I am sending you all cookies for being awesome sauce! Have a nice day or night as well

changkyun still have long hair? i was breathless after i saw his gifset with long hair ALSKASKAS i can imagine how much his stan suffered when they saw him with long hair for the first time 😆 yes, we can already imagine how the comments will be on the next live solo he do right :/ and please, dont worry ok! its okay to mention another artist or group like you did. you just wanted to show an example. theres nothing wrong with it ♡ you're so adorable askllkasl thank you sweetheart. and you too please ♡

#reply #anonymous

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fairycosmos · 4 years

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I dont know why but I wanted to ask you, do you ever have this kind of feeling like you are not the protagonist of your own life? Like you are a side character in everyone else life or somethinh? Lately I've feeling like this and idk it makes me feel really sad

yeah i’ve felt that way a lot in my life :( you’re not alone. i think a lot of ppl do. like maybe some of us are here to just balance out the craziness by living silent, forgettable lives. let the ppl who really live see it all while the rest of us just kind of exist and fade out. even earlier today i had this random thought: maybe not everyone gets a proper love story. i don’t know where it came from. perhaps a lot of this has to do with being raised on books n tv to the point where we daydream so strongly that we think real life has to be some sort of chronological, crazy adventure with clear lessons and a neat beginning/middle/ending in order to be worth while. and another part of it may be that we view everyone around us in a very one dimensional way. we only see what they want us to see, and that’s usually only the good stuff. so maybe they seem like a better fit for the role of the protagonist to you, based on how you perceive them from the outside. when we compare their bright facades with the messy, embarrassing complexity of our own inner worlds it can feel pretty mortifying and isolating. but i am willing to bet we’re all secretly just as lost and just as boring as each other. living monotonous lives to survive with no clue what the future really holds for any of us. i kind of feel like everyone is simultaneously better and worse than they seem. anyway, i would try to refrain from seeing life through this movie-like lens, though i know it’s hard. because really it’s just people having lived experiences, nothing more and nothing less. comparing yours to other people’s doesn’t make yours less impactful on your own life. it doesn’t change what you have to live with every day. try to focus on what’s actually in your hands. though it’s always good to remember that for all intents and purposes, if we’re looking at it this way, you ARE the main character of your own existence. i mean quite literally. the only persons choices you have (relatively) complete control over are your own, you know your own backstory through and through, the only perspective you will ever consciously experience is this one (as far as we know) which is entirely unique to who you are and everything you’ve been through up until now. excuse the disney channel sentiment, but nobody else has lived a life exactly like yours and that really is a super power. no matter how average you think you are. it’s normal to get a little sad about this sort of thing at times, it’s ok to sit with that feeling even if it hurts. but i hope that instead of letting it overwhelm you, you can ground yourself in the reminder that you matter and you’re doing just fine as you are. life has these ebbs and flows, where nothing happens for years and suddenly everything happens at once, and vice versa. but it’s all just a part of the person you’re endlessly becoming, or the story you’re telling if you like that pov. some people live an action movie, others live an indie flick, most of us live through multiple different genres ig. side note, it’s nice to think about how deeply everything affects everything, too. truly. all the parts of your daily routine, or even of your life so far, that seem insignificant to you have created an endless domino effect in the universe. in other people’s scripts. if it’s not playing on the big screen it’s playing on the small screen. you change things you’ll never even know of every day by being here. all the roles we play are interwoven. to others we’re extras, to ourselves we make up the whole narrative. we’re both, simultaneously. you’re going to have a million main character worthy moments because you’re experiencing it all first hand through your own incredibly specific mind. i promise. just because it’s not happening right this moment doesn’t mean it never will. but anyway i’m just rambling now LOL i just wanted you to know i totally feel you and i honestly think the majority of us worry about something along these lines. but there’s no audience judging whether or not you’re worthy of piloting your own life. you already do, regardless of how you feel about it ! sending love ur way x

#anon #main character is a state of mind ig everyone is n thats why the worlds so chaotic lol

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