#why has being able to have MY OWN BLOG open to be able to edit posts and see how things look been deemed LESS IMPORTANT than a fucking

[fingertipsmp3]

Oh fuck I have the update

[juniperskye]

Stick to What You Know.

Sneak peek: Reader is asked to join the BAU by none other than Director Cruz himself. She is a child psychologist and Cruz thought she would make a great asset; it would seem though that Agent Hotchner doesn’t agree.

Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader

Angst

Word count: 3134

Guys...I feel like this is shit, I wrote it in like 3 hours soo…. it’s not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, implied age gap, some language, one use of y/n I think, Hotch is a DICK in this for a minute (SORRY), reader has children, talk of dissociative identity disorder (in reference to a case), canon case talk/info, mention of murder (in reference to a case), Reader in a child psychologist, reader is friends with Director Mateo Cruz, implied death of Haley. I think that’s all, let me know if I missed anything!!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

You were so late. You were thanking the lord that you knew Mateo well from having previously worked with him, otherwise your lateness would probably come across as a lack of seriousness or appreciation for the strings he had pulled to get you here. And of course, being lost in thought while simultaneously rushing through an unfamiliar building had you barreling into a handsome stranger…or maybe a handsome acquaintance.

“I am so sorry!” You’d hurried out.

His large hands steadied you with a gentle but firm grasp on your arms. Your eyes glance upward to meet his.

“No worries, are you alright?” He offered.

“I’m good thank you. Wait, you’re Aaron Hotchner, I’ve sat in on a few of your lectures at the university.”

“I am, and thank you, I hope you were able to take something from them.”  He blushed.

“I did, oh shoot sorry! I have to go; I am so late!” You said, speed walking away from him.

Aaron couldn’t help but watch as you walked away from him. And you couldn’t help but think to yourself that he was far more handsome up close.

After explaining your tardiness to Mateo, he led you to the sixth floor to officially meet your new team. The rest of them anyway.

“Mat, you told them I was joining right? I ran into Agent Hotchner, and he didn’t show any signs of recognition. And I told you I didn’t want to join a team who wasn’t ready and willing to have me.” You ranted.

“Yes I told him, you have nothing to worry about.” He lied. “You head down into the bullpen and meet the agents; I will go up and talk to Agent Hotchner.”

You nodded in agreement and made your way to Emily and Spencer.  You exchanged greetings, and Emily took you around to meet everyone else.

“Director Cruz, what can I do for you?” Hotch asked.

“I have a new recruit for you. She will be starting today.” Mateo gestured toward the window.

Aaron glanced out, finding the beautiful woman from this morning standing amongst his team. Morgan must’ve tried to charm her because she threw her head back in laughter with the most beautiful smile. Why her? Why did she have to be joining his team?

“Why didn’t I receive her file?”

“Truthfully Aaron, I didn’t have it together. She and I have worked together on some classified cases. But I have a file here with some of her info.  She specializes in child psychology which is something your team is lacking, I figured that she could work with your team on all of your child related cases, but then can occasionally consult with other teams should they need her expertise.” Mateo explained.

“Okay.”

It had been three months since then, and things had not been going well. You had gone on all but one case with the BAU since you’d started. Every single time, Aaron kept you at the local precincts, not allowing you out on any real field work – this was hindering your ability to do your job effectively. You needed to observe the unsub’s home and belongings and dumpsites etc. but he was denying you the opportunity.

The rest of the team had been nothing but welcoming, inviting you into their little family with open arms. None of them could have predicted that Hotch would ice you out the way he was.

Every time you offered a theory or statistic or any sort of information, Hotch shut you down. He would belittle you, constantly making you feel small, and he purposely called you agent instead of referring to you as doctor and well, why should today be any different.

You had been called out on a case and based on all the information the team had acquired so far, you had a pretty good working theory.

JJ, Spencer, and you had been sitting in the room the local precinct had designated as yours for the duration of the case.

“I have an idea…it’s a little out there but hear me out,” You started, your gaze shifting to JJ and Spencer, who both encouraged you to continue. “Okay, so some of the details in this case match, while others are all over the place, like the MO is essentially the same but some of the victims’ injuries show signs of hesitation where others show none, I know hotch mentioned multiple unsubs, but what if it is one unsub, with multiple personalities.”

“Like dissociative identity disorder. You know that would make a lot of sense considering people with DID tend to have highly varying alters or identities. They can range in race, gender, age which would explain why the murders have been so different, it would also explain why the comfort zone is so small.” Spencer validated you.

“See that’s what I was thinking too, they would want to stay close to home in the case that perhaps there was a switch in alter, that way they would be somewhere familiar and be able to return home…”

“That’s enough Agent!” Hotch’s voice boomed through the small room. “I have put up with this for far too long. You came in here unannounced and have continued to provide absolutely ridiculous theories that do nothing but waste our time and resources…”

“Hotch” JJ tried to calm him.

He lifted his hand to silence her before continuing, “You have continued to get in the way of my investigations again and again and I won’t have it anymore. Cruz spoke so highly of you and frankly I don’t see it. I’m sorry if I’m the first one to tell you this agent, but perhaps you should stick to what you know.” Hotch finished.

There was no way in hell that you were going to let yourself cry in front of this asshole. You refused to let him win in this moment.

“You know what Agent Hotchner, I have done nothing but work my ass off for this team and I have provided valuable feedback and information that has led to the capture of multiple unsubs over the last few months. But if you want to sit up there on your high horse and act all delusional, go ahead. I don’t want to be a part of a team who is led by someone so pompous and misogynistic. And one last thing, if you are going to sit there and berate me then you will address me properly. It’s Doctor, not agent…I know that may be hard to remember since it’s a title you don’t hold. Goodnight.” With that you grabbed your jacket and bag and made your way outside.

You ordered an uber and made your way back to the hotel. The nerve Hotch seemed to have filled you with rage, but you wouldn’t stick around to entertain his outburst any longer, you had a call to make.

“Hello?”

“Mat, I need a flight home.” You said, the tears finally beginning to fall.

“Is everything okay? What happened?” Mateo questioned.

“It’s fine, I just have a personal emergency and I need to get home as soon as possible.”

“Sure thing, I am booking your flight now, can you be at the airport in two hours?” He asked.

“Yes, that’s perfect. Thank you.”

With that you hung up the phone, packed your bag, ordered another uber and made your way outside. You were purposely ignoring the texts coming in from Spencer and JJ. You made sure to slide a note under Spence’s door before leaving.

“Has anyone seen y/n this morning?” Dave asked.

“She left.” Spencer confirmed, holding up the note.

“What why? Is she okay?” Emily asked, concern laced in her tone.

“I can’t blame her. You guys should have seen it, Hotch yelled at her. And I mean full on yelled. I’ve never heard him speak that way to anyone before.” JJ chimed in.

“What are you talking about? He yelled at her. About what?” Morgan questioned.

“He completely flew off the handle. She and Spence were going over a theory about the unsub and he just started yelling, telling her that she was wasting our time and resources.”

The team was in disbelief, Hotch wasn’t mean or condescending, so why was he acting this way now? How could he treat arguably the sweetest member of the team so disrespectfully?

Dave shook his head; he was pretty sure he knew exactly why Aaron was acting out this way. He just couldn’t believe that Aaron had said such harsh things to the girl. His heart broke for her knowing that someone she idolized had been so awful to her, and for all the wrong reasons.

The team had wrapped up that case fairly quickly, you had been right, and the unsub turned out to be a nineteen-year-old male who had been struggling with dissociative identity disorder. Hotch had felt uneasy knowing that he had questioned your intelligence, despite you being an excellent agent.

Upon returning to the BAU, Dave was sure to confront Aaron about his inappropriate behavior.  Telling him that he couldn’t treat you terribly just because he couldn’t wrap his brain around the feelings for you he was refusing to acknowledge. Aaron had scoffed at him and told him that he didn’t have feelings for you, but Dave knew he was lying.

You had quite a different experience since returning. The first thing you did was cry, you let yourself release all the pent-up frustration you’d been holding onto since you had started at the BAU. Then, you texted Mat, letting him know that you needed to meet with him.

He was curious and waiting for answers, but he ultimately agreed and waited to ask all his questions until you were face to face.

“So, what’s up? This meeting request was so formal.” Mat laughed.

“I know and I am sorry I have been so vague about everything, but I am here to resign.”

Mat’s smile fell from his face immediately.

“What happened? Did something happen, because I promise you I have looked into the complaints filed against Agent Morgan and Ms. Garcia and I can assure you, they just have a strange friendship.” Mateo tried to explain.

“Mat, slow down! It isn’t like that. I just don’t think it is a good fit, there’s just too many differences between how I work and how the team operates. It’s okay really.” You tried to smile to really sell your lie.

“Well, I can’t help but be disappointed, I really thought that you would be a perfect fit for this team.” Mateo trailed off.

“I know and I am so sorry. I know you had to pull a ton of strings to get me here and I don’t want it to seem like I am not grateful because I can assure you, I am!”

“I know, and it’s alright! If it’s not a good fit then it’s not a good fit.” Mateo flashed you a sad smile.

A few weeks had passed since you had left the BAU, and truly, you had been doing well! You had spent some much-needed time with your family. You had reached out to a good friend of yours and inquired about a job teaching at the local university, which you were truly looking forward to. It had also meant that you would have a free summer to spend some quality time with your kids.

Tonight, you had one of your best friends over, your kids had grown up together and so you liked to do these big “family” dinners together at least once a month, that however meant chaos in the house. Kids yelling, teenagers gossiping, dinner burning…I guess that means you’ll be ordering a pizza.

Your friend and you had been talking about your new job and the excitement you were feeling for it, a movie long forgotten playing in the background, the kids were playing some card game you didn’t recognize when the doorbell rang.

“Oh, I bet that’s the pizza!” You said, making your way to the door.

“I left the cash on the table there!” Your friend shouted.

“Hi…Oh. What the hell are you doing here?” Shock painted its way across your face. Standing at your door was not the pizza delivery guy, but Aaron Hotchner.

“I uh, I came here to talk to you. I know that I do not deserve your time, but I am truly hoping you’ll allow me a few minutes to explain myself.”

“Dude, do you need help or…oh, shit. Sorry! Did you guys need a minute?” Your friend interrupted.

“Um” your gaze shifted from Aaron to your friend. “Agent Hotchner, why don’t we go to the back. Can you keep an eye out for the pizza?” You suggested.

“Of course! You go.” She replied.

Aaron and you made your way to the backyard, in doing so he took note of all the children sitting in the living room, sprawled out across the floor and couches.

“I didn’t know you had children.” Aaron started.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me. Is that why you came here agent Hotchner? To see my home and profile me?” You questioned him.

“No of course not! I was making an observation. I’m sorry. Like I said, I am here to explain my behavior, none of which will excuse how I acted but I am hoping it might help you to understand some of it.” His gaze shifted around your face. “From the moment I first laid my eyes on you, I knew I was ruined. You were breathtaking, even when you plowed right into me in your rush to the director’s office. You bumped into me and God, then you looked up at me with those big, beautiful eyes and I was a goner. But then you said something to me, and I knew I was done for. Do you remember what you said?”

“I apologized and then I told you I’d gone to some of your lectures. Hold on Agent Hotchner are you saying you were horrible to me because you had a crush on me? What are we? Seven-year-olds on the playground! That is such bullshi….” He didn’t let you finish.

“Hold on. You did mention that you had been to my lectures, but it was what you said as you walked away that had me hooked…you said, “he’s far more handsome up close” and I don’t think you meant to say it out loud, but at that moment I told myself that I was ready. I was ready to move on and I was going to ask you out later that day, but then you walked into the bullpen and Cruz said you’d be a part of the BAU, and I knew it wouldn’t be possible. I couldn’t date my subordinate and I didn’t know what to do, you had called me handsome and I…”

“Now wait a minute! I didn’t mean to say that out loud and this still isn’t…”

“I’m not finished. You had some sort of attraction for me even if it was just an appreciation for my looks. I already had it bad for you, and to top it all off, you came in and just had to be the sweetest, most loving person in the BAU and I couldn’t have you. It wouldn’t be appropriate. I figured the easiest thing to do would be to make you hate me, then I’d be able to shake these feelings for you, but no. You continued to be kind to me, even if I was awful to you and I couldn’t take it. My breaking point was the look on your face after I yelled at you on that last case. I felt sick with myself. I couldn’t leave things like that; I needed you to know that I don’t think those things. You are an incredible agent and an even better person and I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” Aaron finished, looking down at his shoes.

You were speechless. While it felt amazing that the man you had harbored feelings for, returned your feelings. It also felt terrible that he wasn’t mature enough to just be upfront with you from the beginning. Instead, he felt the need to play some arduous game with you. It would be so easy to just throw yourself into his embrace and kiss him and call it all forgotten, but what if this is some insight into his communication skills, or lack thereof?

Your mind and heart were battling one another like an angel and devil on your shoulder. It was a back-and-forth quarrel that seemingly had no correct response, both had the same potential outcomes; you getting your heart broken, regret, potential happiness. What were you meant to do?

“I um, I don’t know what to say. You said some horrible things to me and that doesn’t just go away. Agent Hotchner, we’re adults.”

“Please call me Aaron, or at least Hotch.”

“Aaron we are adults and you acted like a child. Am I meant to just forgive and forget the way you made me feel?”

“No, I would never expect that. I do hope that one day you can forgive me, and if you give me the chance, I would truly love to make it up to you.” He explained.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He questioned.

“Okay, you can make it up to me. And maybe, just maybe I will forgive you. It’s not going to be easy though.” You said.

“I wouldn’t want it to be easy.” He smiled.

“Alright well you can start tomorrow. I’d invite you to stay but this is a family dinner and with all the kids it might be a bit chaotic.” You told him.

“That’s fair.”

You could see the wheels turning in his head, he’s trying to figure out the dynamics of your little family, and maybe you could spare him a little bit of leeway.

“Her and I combined have nine kids. I have five and she has four. And before you ask, only two are biologically mine. A close friend of ours passed and I was listed as the personal guardian for her kids. That’s also how I have a teenager.” You explained. “That’s all you get for now.” You teased.

“I will take what I can get. Thank you, for giving me this chance.” Aaron smiled at you.

You smiled back and led him to the door, not missing the shit-eating grin your friend was wearing on her face. You bid him goodnight with a promise to text him to make some sort of plan. You didn’t know what would come of this, or if you’d end up together, but for now, you didn’t need to know. For now, you’d take it one day at a time.

[precious-plushies]

I enjoy how your post about my message completely glossed over the fact that I said the proportions of the plush being sexualised is what is so utterly disgusting. That cat plush is supposed to invoke a baby. How can you not see that in the proportions?

You even doubled down and reposted it! I really don't understand how you can see that it's okay to sexualise that specific plush!

Also, I am a plushophile myself. I am not insulting the kink, nor the affinity we all have for plushies.

I am simply disturbed by finding a blog which is sexualising plushies which are made to look like children. Not even children- babies!

You can deflect all you like and claim that "I must be the pedo if that is my first thought" but.. my first thought when seeing that plushie is a baby. The proportions of a human baby. And seeing a blog gleefully sexualise it made me sick to my stomach.

Plain and simple, i did not recall that part of the original DM. To address this new DM, im going to say i do not see the "proportions of a baby" in this particular stuffed animal. It has the proportion of a regular stuffed animal to me. If you'd like to elaborate on where, or how specifically it mimics a baby, im open to seeing how i may be wrong about it.

The reason why i reposted and edited the orignal post, and pinned it, is so my followers are able to see and make their own assumptions about this situation, and, in the case multiple people find me in the wrong, i can rectify this error on my part publicly and form a proper response. I will not take the post down out of shame so nobody knows what I'm talking about while I address the situation.

Futhermore, the post was not insulting you for not understanding or partaking in this subset of kink, but informing others on how the mindset of a plushophile might work, and the thought process behind the selection of my posts; including the one you flagged as inappropriate and immoral.

Accusing someone of something as serious as pedophilia on a post about plushies is a really harsh, and rude accusation and should not be hurled left and right with ease. I appreciate you coming to my DM to voice your discomfort, but do not insult me again. I apologize myself for insulting YOU back, and stooping to that level.

Now, about the proportion, THIS is what I see when I look at the cat, proportion wise:

Large feet, rounded hands, like this generic teddy bear here.

I do NOT see a baby. Is it the underwear that evokes that emotion for you??

Demonstrated here, using a generic baby doll, i do not see the proportion aligning with a real human baby??

Curious.

[Edit:] Forgot to say, but you do not have to ask anonymously, either. I am not going to eat you. Come, and have a formal discussion like two disagreeing adults would.

[bosskie]

Molluck Study Night

Man, I don't remember when was the last time I managed to draw this many sketches in a day... Last night I studied Molluck's anatomy, so the rest of the sketches here will be about naked Molluck. But this was the last one I did since I also wanted to just practice drawing his face. I had no idea how to draw him but then I just looked at those cutscenes and wanted to draw this one because he is just so cute when he is pondering after looking at the blimps in the first part of the good ending! This wasn't easy one to draw and I actually fixed this a bit digitally since I realized my mistakes while editing the photo of this... It just feels like I still have so much to learn how to draw this Gluk... I feel like I lack of something, making me unable to ever be professional in art, but maybe I just haven't been doing enough art, studies etc...

But currently, I do am trying to improve my art since I feel like I'm just stuck and haven't really improved in a decade... So, here's some random Molluck anatomy studies, being in order I made them:

These are actually quickly made sketches, so that's how I was actually able to draw this much in one night... Though, I finished that portrait after waking up since I become too sleepy to finish it. I personally feel like these sketches only show how poor my anatomy skills are, so I wasn't even sure if I post these or not but well, still wanted to be brave and show my poor skills bare naked, just like Molluck is... This is just how I feel about these sketches... They show my real skill level and I don't think that it's good... Well, gotta just keep drawing. Though, I do still sketch a lot poorer stuff when I try to figure out how to realize my drawing ideas... Well, I guess that I could give you a look at these actually awful sketches:

All of these are made for a sketch/drawing I have posted here. (Yes, I tend to sketch stuff using Paint.) Frankly, this is how I tend to see my skills, how I feel when I look at my stuff... I know that it's not nice to see an artist calling their art bad but I just wanna be honest, like brutally honest about how I see my stuff, so here's kinda like a visualisation of how I see my stuff, at least during my worst moments... There do are moments when I do feel like I can actually draw but they seem to be just little moments and I'm soon back to thinking about that I cannot draw a thing. It's depressing and it makes me feel kinda depressed when I look at the stuff on this post but well, this blog has also kinda been about the journey I have been doing with my Molluck art/stuff, in many ways.

I'm sorry but I just cannot pretend that I loved my art... I love Molluck so much but at the same time, I just hate myself so much... I don't even know why but I just feel like my life is already a failure... Just feel like how this stuff shows how I cannot truly draw... How me being skilled is just a lie... Man, I just have so bad impostor syndrome... I feel the best when I forget myself but when I think about myself, it only depresses me... I just tend to think that every energy/time/etc. spent on me is wasted...

Even looking at the stuff on this post makes me feel worse, I still wanna post this bad art. I just don't feel like that the portrait looks great either but I tried my best and that's the main thing. I just feel so bad about myself... It feels like I'm only able to practice self-love thru Molluck, making him being kind to me while I tell myself the worst possible things... This is one of the reasons why he is so important to me... He is the one that tells me inside my head not to do it, not to end it all... Frankly, like I said some time ago, it's actually like a mundane thing for me to think about suicidal things, just nothing special anymore, it's been so long like this, over a decade... This also kinda one reason why I'm so open about my own situation, I'm getting so tired of this... To describe how awful my mind is, I can say that it has just laughed at me when I have been reading about how seriously suicidal thoughts should be taken, said how I'm not worth saving but all the others are...

But I'm still trying to fight, even I have felt like life is pointless for over a decade... The cycle of life has just felt so odd: born, grow up, (breed,) die... Like, what's the point of this all? Why to live, why to survive... Thinking this stuff was the reason why I got depressed, just don't understand the point of living, doing anything in life... Maybe it's my personality that just makes me unable to enjoy life, stop caring about this... But like I have said, I do still feel like I'm a failure, so I'll never really be anything... This is how I just feel and I don't know how to stop feeling like this... Just everything I have 'achieved' feels like mere luck or 'lucky mistakes'... I just feel like I'm a living lie, my impostor syndrome is this bad...

I don't wanna depress anyone else but my blog has kinda become like this, that I also write how I'm doing with my mind since it affects my stuff a lot and Molluck kinda just keeps my mental health 'in place'. I really had some positive things in mind to write here but I just cannot when I feel like my 'art' looks so bad right now... Well, another time then. I'm sorry but I'm just fighting for my own life with my mind... Since I more like hate my creations, I'm only able to show my stuff related to Molluck since this Gluk is just the love of my life... This was also the reason why I didn't take part in that OWI's fan celebration thing they just held, just have no mood for making my stuff more visible, show it around but here. Like I have said many times, I felt like deleting my submission to that SoulStorm tattoo contest I won, it just looked so bad in my opinion... I only wish I was able to see what the people who enjoy my stuff see... Why is my mind just trying to kill me, but there somewhere I still know that I'm not so awful as my ill mind tells me, that I do have hope, that I shouldn't take my own life... Man, brains are so odd too...

I don't wish that I end this all because of all the bad things I tell myself. I more like wish that me being open about this can help the others like me. That's why I'm also working on a game related to mental health issues like mine. Thinking about publishing/showing it makes me feel nervous though but I'm trying my best with being able to show my stuff since my life kinda depends on it... Man, why it's so difficult to feel anything positive about myself... I seriously don't know why I hate myself so much... Why I have so high expectations for myself... Why I feel like I can do nothing in reality...

[literatureatthebowofnails]

A/N: I love you like Dr. Strange loves being right

Created for the 14 Days of Valentines community project, hosted by @muddyorbsblr

Series masterlist

Pairing: Loki x fem!reader

Includes: Angst

Summary: Loki seeks council when he fears he's crossed a line

The Bewitched theme tinkles from your pocket as you leave the cafe. Chrysa wiggles her eyebrows, waving goodbye. She's been making hushed comments about how "fucked out" you look since she walked through the door.

You gave up telling her it was just a dream. A very satisfying, very realistic dream, but still a dream.

"Hey Wanda," you answer the call. "What's up?"

"Is Loki with you?"

"No," you frown at the concern in her voice. "I just left work. Why?"

"Steve's angry. Really angry. He said 'damn' under his breath, and he never swears.

"Loki's supposed to leave for a mission in an hour and none of us can find him."

"Have you asked Thor?"

"Thor's at the market. He refused to take his phone because he 'can't afford any more distractions from the new generation of boxed delight.'"

"He's getting an iphone?"

"No," she snickers. "Pop-Tarts released a limited-edition flavor. He's worried everywhere will be sold out because he didn't make it to the store this morning.

"Aaaanyway, do you know where your boy-toy might be? Bruce heard 'HE'S NOT MY FATHER!' coming from Thor's room before breakfast, but no one's seen Loki since.

"He likes to be snarky on coms, but he's never ditched a mission before. Did he say anything last night?"

"Not really. He said he didn't want to get 'too familiar,' but nothing about going somewhere. Luckily, he wasn't so refined it in my dream," you giggle.

"You're so naughty! What did he do?"

"Haha, we gotta meet up if you want the dirty details. I'm not telling the whole train about it."

"Come down to the tower then. Most of the team is leaving. We'll make pineapple upside down cake, and you can tell me everything. And if Loki comes back, you'll get to see him."

"Twist my arm why don't you."

☕

On your ride up, a feminine tone speaks in the elevator. "Welcome back to Avengers' Tower, I'm FRIDAY. Putting Mr. Stark through now."

"Hey, I'm trying to find Rock of Ages," says the unmistakable voice of Tony Stark. "Any idea where he is?"

You look around for a camera or microphone and say "Hi. Um, sorry? I don't know where Loki is. Can't you track his phone or something?"

The doors open, revealing the genius himself as he takes off his Bluetooth to address you directly. "No can do, princess. He's somewhere even FRIDAY can't reach. Next stop is Bleaker St. There's a wizard down there who likes to keep tabs on potential threats. Might be able to give us a lead."

"You don't think he's...?"

"What? Leading another alien army to attack the city? Probably not, but we can't be too careful. Either way, if we don't find him Cap's gonna have an aneurysm and he's too old to survive that." Chuckling at his own joke, Stark gives your shoulder a squeeze and gets on the elevator. "Don't worry, we'll bring your boyfriend back in one piece."

"We've only been on one..." you sigh as the doors close.

"Hey," Wanda comes up behind you. "There you are. I hope Stark wasn't giving you a hard time. He's still jumpy about planetary security. Wants some sort of forcefield, but after the Ultron mess..." she looks guilty. "No one else will agree to it."

You chew your lip, following her to the kitchen. "Should I be worried?"

"Worried?" she looks up. "I don't think so. Steve's just upset because he has to replan the mission. I'm sure Loki isn't in trouble or doing something wrong.

"From what Banner said, it's probably just a family issue."

You nod, but something doesn't feel right. You haven't known the god for long, but you know he wouldn't go to his parents unless he had to.

A/N: Thanks for reading!

Taglist: @peaches1958, @javagirl328, @loopsisloops, @goblingirlsarah, @buttercupcookies-blog, @lovelysizzlingbluebird, @cakesandtom, @ladymischief11, @km-ffluv

Main masterlist

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the list.

Next part

[rainbowsky]

About the Video

I have gotten so many asks (and messages from antis 🙄) about this video. Rather than turn my blog into a "video Q & A", I'll just give my thoughts on it here in one post.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

I'm going to start by saying that the very best response to negative buzz or attacks on GG and/or DD (which this video definitely is), is always to simply ignore, keep quiet and let it blow over. The more engaged we get with the subject, the more buzz we are helping to build around it. In situations like this, it is not in GGDD's best interests for people to freak out. Often the entire purpose of an attack like this is to upset people and stoke up fan wars.

I say this all the time and you'll hear me repeating it again and again and again - block and ignore (and report when appropriate).

If something comes up and you don't see me talking about it, this is why. I don't like giving more oxygen to garbage like this.

THE ROAD IS LONG

Being a (happy) turtle requires critical thinking, media literacy skills and a high degree of fortitude. This is all basic self-care and intellectual self-defense. I've been saying this kind of thing a lot and hopefully it's getting through to some people. If you have a heart of glass, if you are gullible and easily swayed, if you are easily thrown into fits of anxiety and self-doubt, and if you aren't willing to change your self-destructive social media habits, this might not be the right fandom for you.

As turtles we are often outnumbered by enemies who are trying to harm us, debunk our CPN, harm GG and DD, stoke up fan wars, push their own heterocentric agendas, spew homophobia, fandom-phobia and RP/CP-phobia, spread hate against one or both of the boys, make BXG cry, etc. etc. etc.

This fandom is not for the faint of heart.

Heteronormativity plays a key role, here

We've seen countless interactions and sweet moments between GG and DD that make this idiotic video look like a passerby patting a stray dog in the street, and yet there are STILL turtles who are shaken by it.

We have seen a ton of evidence of BJYXSZD, and candies and CPN coming at a regular pace, yet turtles freak out over a 2 year old sibling-ish video clip that has clearly been maliciously edited.

If this video makes you feel shaken about GG and DD it might be time to self-reflect on your attitude toward queer relationships.

Heteronormativity and 'burden of proof' is a huge part of how things get skewed in the fandom. The (often unconscious) assumption among most people is that heterosexuality is the default, and queer relationships don't happen. People need a PHD thesis and a grand jury to believe that GG and DD's relationship is even remotely possible, yet they need nothing more than a rumor and a badly edited video to believe GG or DD is dating a woman. It's insane.

GG and DD could have their tongues down each other's throats and people will still scratch their heads and hmm and haw about them, but the second either of them talks to or interacts with a woman, the immediate assumption is that they're going to marry her.

This is just the way everyone is socialized in our homophobic world, and it plays somewhat of a protective role for GGDD. They wouldn't be able to be as open about their relationship as they are if they were a heterosexual couple. Heteronormativity means that evidence of their being a couple is easily dismissed by most people and they're able to fly under the radar this way.

But as turtles we should know better. We should be able to recognize this dynamic at work and not be thrown by it.

This is not a 'cute moment'

If you are viewing this incident as 'the leaking of a cute moment between friends', or if you are worried about the implications for GG and DD's relationship, you are missing the entire point of the video.

This video has nothing to do with GG and DD. It has nothing to do with friendship. Quite the contrary. It's a targeted attack.

Make no mistake about it - the filming of this video was not an accident. The release of this video was not an accident. The timing of both the filming and the release of it were not accidents. The editing and removal of context were not accidents. This was an intentional attack on GG, aimed at hurting him.

I'm not going to go into all the details of it here. It's an unsavory topic that is best kept private. But if you see something causing a negative stir around either GG or DD, that's probably the entire intent of the situation. To cause a negative stir, stoke up fan wars, and ultimately to harm them.

Context is everything

I want to remind everyone of the context here. GG had earlier that night just enjoyed a major 'comeback' moment after 2/27, when his fans greeted him with a sea of red. If you weren't around back then, you might not understand the significance of what happened.

We had just spent several months watching GG get trashed and attacked and negatively discussed in the media. He had been lying low for months and months. Many of us wondered whether he'd ever recover. As we all know - in C-ent, artists are routinely canceled and blacklisted, often for apparently minor 'infractions'. We had no reason to believe GG would be able to bounce back.

Then Tencent Starlight Awards comes along, and here's GG on the red carpet and then onstage, singing in front of a huge audience, and there was a sea of red light banners that fans had smuggled in to show their love and support. And GG was clearly deeply moved by it all, to where he got choked up toward the end.

I don't think I was the only person bawling my eyes out at that moment. I STILL can't watch that video without getting choked up. It was such an important moment in GG's career.

And GG was visibly relieved. I can only imagine how elated he must have been after the event, to see that his career was going to survive.

I have no doubt he went to that party in high spirits, happy to be able to go out and enjoy an evening celebrating among other stars. His guard would have been down in this closed 'backstage' environment where cameras were not supposed to be. And some utter dirtbag decides to film his interactions, with their own agenda in mind.

The filming and editing and release of this clip, the timing of it, the hot search, everything about it is intended to harm GG and benefit others. This isn't the first time such an incident has happened, and GG isn't the first victim (and likely won't be the last).

It was an egregious violation of his privacy and of his trust, and as people who love him we should be addressing it for what it is instead of having our own self-serving anxiety about what it means for GGDD. You know what it means for GGDD?

Sweet FA.

It means less than nothing. Anyone who thinks DD is jealous about this moment has their head in a moist, dark place. Let me guarantee you, DD is as pissed as I am about what was done to GG, and isn't harboring some ridiculous insecurity about GG's interactions. DD knows GG's real feelings.

Any doubts turtles feel are their own, and have absolutely nothing to do with GG and DD.

Anyone who knows GG knows he's casual and affectionate with others. He had shared a stage with the other subject earlier in the evening, so it's not surprising he had a friendly exchange with her. He is that way with co-stars, with colleagues and with anyone he works with. He's a genuine, down-to-earth, funny, sweet guy.

Those tendencies in him were taken advantage of in some pretty unforgivable ways, here, and THAT'S the real story. Someone is attempting to benefit at his expense, and that's the real story.

This will blow over. Let it. Let's all stop giving this BS story oxygen, and instead focus on loving and supporting GG and DD.

EDIT: More on this here.

[utilitycaster]

Has your work with the wiki informed how you interact with the fandom? Scrutinizing the source material so closely and all.

Oh definitely, and this is a great question.

I think, without getting too deep into weeds or bitterness, that my attitude towards aggressively non-canonical (or, frankly, anti-canonical) interpretations of ships or characters has shifted both because of my negative experiences with the Fandom wiki and because I effectively have to go over the happenings of each episode two or three times. Additionally, my deep dislike and distrust of conspiracy theories long pre-dates my work on wikis or even involvement with fandom, but now that I spend a decent amount of "fandom time" looking up citations, I have even less patience for it. There are so many wonderful sources beyond just the wiki! We have a transcript search! We have Dani's recaps! We have so many sourcebooks! We have a talkback/commentary show! Please, while I'd love for people to use and add to the wiki, at the very least, if you don't have time to watch or rewatch episodes in full, use these wonderful resources instead of relying on like, someone's personal silly little clip compilations to shape your understanding.

In terms of far more positive things, I think because wiki pages are changing, living documents, going back to them has given me a lot of insight that I might have forgotten. To give an example - just now, in summarizing the party's trip towards Yios, I ran across the fact that Imogen was asked if she wanted to give up her powers - if there were a cure, whether she'd take it - and she responded that while once she felt that way, she no longer does. I think Imogen's relationship with power is fascinating, and I think this puts her in contrast with Liliana in a new and interesting way that I'd love to explore further once we return to more direct conflict. This small moment says so much, but I'd forgotten it in the several months since it aired, and probably wouldn't have accessed again if I were not a wiki editor. I've also been doing a lot of work on editing out plagiarism, or fleshing out largely overlooked details, and it's a delight to get to revisit prior campaigns and see how everything fits together. I get both a very high level view of the world, and also get to zero in on tiny moments, like Veth shooting Caleb in the Vellum Steeple library, and I'm so grateful I get to relive that, and often my meta is informed by what I'm working on and what details I'm immersed in and the connections they spark.

Finally - while I'm obviously super opinionated here, on Tumblr, I think it's a really good and important exercise that I also spend time in a place where I need to consciously prioritize a neutral voice and give attention even to things I dislike. This is an entirely separate post so I won't derail myself but I think part of why I sometimes get extremely bizarre anons/responses is that I'm both someone who talks about CR on the whole, but also am open about my preferences (rather than running a blog that's highly focused on one character/ship nor being a true generalist blog that primarily reblogs art). Anyway, working on the wiki means that, for example, even if I'm really frustrated with an episode or a character or a relationship, I need to spend time and stop and ask myself what is actually happening, outside of my own feelings. I think this is a really good practice to have with fiction! I think you need to be able to do both and compartmentalize and switch between them; to say "what is the author/creator trying to say and how are they saying it and what is literally occurring" and also "how do I, an individual with my own unique perspective, feel about what's happening." Or at the very least, if you can't do this, you can still enjoy yourself, but you will always be preaching to the choir.

[makuzume]

Genshin Characters and their Gender

🔸Liyue men edition🔸

Note: Personal opinion! I respect everyone else's opinion as to what they think the characters' gender are. I do not claim these to be facts or the only acceptable gender. For fun only! (since there are no official genders stated by Hoyo

Other blogs: [Masterlist] [Liyue Women Gender]

💙Xingqiu - Gay

Gay - man attracted to man, sometimes referred to as one being attracted to the same sex.

He is a closeted gay.

Based on those bits of interactions Hoyo gave, I have a personal assumption that he likes Chongyun, and even if that is not the case, I find their dynamic as a ship quite itneresting.

Xingqiu probably has had a crush on Chongyun for a while- however, there's Chongyun who probably has no idea and just sees him as a friend.

Xingqiu seems to be quite closeted about his gender, especially since his family/prents seems like they might be very strict towards him (who are big and important people involved in big businesses/have a well known family name in Liyue).

🩵Chongyun - Straight/Heteroflexible

Heteroflexible - mostly straight- but not fully.

Growing up, all his crushes would have been girls (as well as his present crushes) However, I feel like he is actually, possibly, a little open to having feelings for guys, deep down (without him fully knowing it.)

Chongyun identified as straight for his whole life, and he hasn't been attracted to any other guy, so with that as his reference, he is completely straight.

BUT if there were one person to make him bi or attracted to guys that would be up to his guy best friend. (ehem Xingqiu) though, it would take him quite a while to realize it, if ever he caught feelings.

But if it's not his best friend that he gains feelings for, then he would be mostly straight for his whole life.

🧡Childe/Tartaglia - Straight

(I know Tartaglia x Zhongli fanbase is massive and I still respect it! this is just my own opinion ^-^)

The vibe I have for him is giving straight/heterosexual vibes. Not much thoughts on as to why honestly, but if I had to guess one, I'd say straight.

An additional influence to my opinion might be the Tartaglia x Lumine content I see (which I personally ended up shipping)

💚Xiao - Demi-panromantic, Demi-pansexual

Demi - Establishing an emotional bond before forming any attraction; Panromantic/Pansexual - Romantic and sexual attraction to any sex or gender identity.

Xiao is an adeptus, and adepti come and go in all sorts of forms, so it doesn't matter who would he potentially be attracted to since adepti can choose their own form: be it man, woman, adeptus creature, spirit, etc. He would be more focused on who they are regardless of form.

Xiao would be more like to experience the romantic feelings first only after getting to know them. For Xiao, the bond is first, then the romantic attraction, then later on: the physical attraction.

It's towards someone who first understands him, brings him comfort, who he is comfortable around, and who is able to give him the love he had been needing.

Xiao is deep down a soft boy with repressed emotions, it's when he finally feels comfort in being loved (which he avoids due to his fear of tainting others with his karmic debt) does he eventually fall romantically or allow himself to fall, so it's regardless of 'what' gender and more of 'who, why, and how'.

🧡Zhongli - Demi-panromantic, Pansexual

Demi - Establishing an emotional bond before forming any attraction; Panromantic/pansexual - Romantic/sexual attraction to any sex or gender identity.

Just like other adepti, Rex Lapis (Zhongli) can take on many forms, so it doesn't matter what form or being he can get attracted to since Rex Lapis himself can change his form.

He's also come across thousands and thousands of beings, so he is used to meeting all sorts of people. So if ever he were to meet a potential love interest, the two of them would need to have established a little bit of a bond (or even just a bit of familiarity/getting to know them) before he could have such feelings for them.

Though he wouldn't be as uptight about it, unlike Xiao who would be more reserved for such feelings, Zhongli wouldn't take as long to fall either, and he know right away if he ever started having feelings for someone, romantic or sexual (He would only show his interest if he feels like the timing and their circumstances in life is just right for both of them.)

His romantic feelings would be harder to reach than his sexual feelings, he can have physical desires casually but seldom act upon it.

As an Archon, he seldom would even experience the need for these feelings, but it wouldn't be impossible for him now to gain romantic attraction out of the thousands and thousands of years of his existence (especially that now he lives as mortal Zhongli, not as the previous Archon Rex Lapis.)

💚Baizhu - ???

I honestly thought real long and hard about this- (since he was the only male left and I didn't want to exclude him) but I honestly can't think of anything T^T

This man makes me feel like he can say anything and I'd agree (straight? Gay? Demi? Pan? Aro? Etc.) I'd say I'd just let the media tell me what he could be, what do you guys think?

Let me know your gender headcannons in the comments! :)

[variousqueerthings]

Asking this genuinely in good faith but: im confused about what you mean when you say sex is a construct like gender? obviously like. The social and societal expectations around sex/gender are a construct. But I dont see how actual biology is? Obviously there needs to be greater understanding of the nuances of differences in sexes, and its not a binary like how a lot of people talk about it. But the difference in chromosomes, anatomy, hormones, etc. between different sexes is real, and it’s scientifically relevant to distinguish between them when performing clinical studies etc. so i guess i just wonder if you could elaborate on what you mean exactly when you say that? Thanks!

hiya, hope all is well in wherever you are anon. EDIT: well this got long

I assume you mean the post I reblogged about acknowledging that sex is also a construct that shifts depending on the agenda of the person speaking about it

first things first, gonna acknowledge, this is not my expert topic. a big reason why I reblogged this post (and a few other similarly ones over the years, reminding me that my tagging is a mess and I need to clean that up) is my allyship for intersex people - I want to listen to what they're saying, so my first big shout-out is to read up on what intersex people are saying about their lived realities and politics

also as a recommendation I've been enjoying a lot of what @genderqueerdykes have been writing (I believe I rb'd that post from there), which is a general widespread queer intersex-gender-and-aromantic-fuckery-based positivity, that is good for my all over the place soul (also I am currently unemployed, but if someone has a bit of cash to spare there's a continuous fund to help support through homelessness at the top of that blog)

secondly to second, I agree with you --it is important to be able to distinguish various characteristics in human bodies (for example, say, the ability to give birth, let's go with a big one there, not everyone can do that one) so that we can effectively support people medically, do important clinical studies, and also, for sure, speak about elements of bodies that are gatekept, monitored, denied agency, and otherwise become elements of a society that is white supremacist, colonialist, patriarchal, ableist, queerphobic, transphobic and -- returning to aforementioned under-discussed elephant in the room -- intersexist

so to clarify on the idea of the post you're referring to, whilst also going into why I've just listed out some of the violating institutions of our society, the way we decide what defines sex, is changeable, and comes from our cultural norms, it's 100% what you said "The social and societal expectations around sex/gender are a construct" <- you're very much understanding the post with this sentence

take sports. sports is currently one of the biggest spaces we're seeing this out in the open. the notion of what defines a Woman (sex-and/or-gender-malleable-depending-on-the-speakers-agenda) is changeable depending on skin colour, country of origin, "masculine" features (also white supremacist in function, who can forget that tweet where three cis non-white women were "called out" for being trans women -- I've seen similar many times), being intersex (whether or not the person knew about it beforehand, and in Caster Semenya's case, she was tricked into giving up that information, so that's a big non-consensual medical violation amongst all the others), and of course, the patriarchal idea that women just must be weaker all the time, and if they won't be it on their own dime, then we'll change the rules and force/coerce them to do things to their bodies that they did not consent to. gender roles enforcing sex as social construct

I note that since the 20s and all through today, women have had to undergo various humiliating checks to "prove" that they were real enough women to play sports. which coincidentally is what people have been saying girls are risking having to do now in America if things continue the way they have been

as a sidenote, I was watching a neat little documentary interviewing various trans people in sports called "Game On, Queer Disruptions in Sport," which included a story by a Bulgarian ex-rower who back in the day was ousted from professional rowing for being tested positive as intersex. in their story they talked about how actually over half the team were, but it was only because they told their coach and it became public that it was a problem. where does sex end and gender begin in all of this? whose agenda does it prop up when not talking about something "allows" some people to be women and others not to be (to be clear, they no longer ID as a woman, but if memory serves as intersex as their gender so that adds a whole nother dimension, but boy oh boy this is getting long)

sex -- in the sense that people are born with different chromosomes, levels of hormones, developmental Stuff that hijinks how those hormones interact with the body, and a million other facets that affect what we call sexual characteristics -- is real, in the same way that height differences are real (here's a video by philosophytube, which from memory is very trans-skewed, which, understandable, she was going head-on with the terfs and transphobes at the time, but I do think less overall on intersex people -- but yeah, she did the height example there, I'm borrowing it)

how we decide to enforce gender through sex, what sex counts as Enough to be allowed access to [insert gender], what sexual characteristics are allowed without censure and/or other forms of violation of body and (you guessed it) how that overlaps with ideas about gendered characteristics, how we create the gender roles based on our assumptions about sex, and then how we enforce those gender roles onto sexual characteristics like a depressing game of ping-pong, in which each reinforces the rights of the other part of the "argument" to say "well, we need to constantly remain vigilant in order for the world to be neatly divided into two, easily distinguishable categories, otherwise Chaos will ensue! how can we know what a Man and a Woman is if it's not clear cut somehow!" (deep breath)

we're.... sort of on the path of going "well alright non-binary is a thing, as long as we assert that this is purely Gender, the Thing Going On In Your Head Ya Weirdos, perhaps we can just about allow something that's a catch-all third gender type thing in a few countries (although, notably to meeeee, not in the UK)," but we haven't yet truly begun to deal with the fact that whatever is going on with the human body is so much more complicated than that and people are absolutely suffering because of this

and the more one thinks about the sheer rabbit hole of this reality, the more one realises just how damaging we're being, first and foremost to intersex people, and then spiralling, hitting every bigoted institution branch in the book on the way down, because well, okay, gender we'll juuust about accept can be fluid and changeable, but we'll not actually... interact with how bodies are fluid and changeable, because of genes, geography, medical intervention, illness, or idk, a hundred things I havent thought about

so in conclusion: how do we decide to define sex-and-gender? what is our agenda with discussing sex/when we bring it up in our politics (and I mean this not just as a hypothetical for frothing at the mouth rightwing bastards, us, who I believe to be well-meaning, too)? is it to end surgery on intersex babies, is it to make sure transmasc people can access pregnancy support, is it to allow girls and women (any and all girls and women) access to healthy outlets in sports, etcetcetc? is it to be able to more effectively discuss the ways bigoted institutions interact with one another to enforce their ideas onto bodies? or is it to rigidly enforce the divide and insist that while we'll allow the gender thing (again, just about, with caveats, heavy disclaimers, etc) there are two sexes, and never shall the twain intersect, interact, overlap, or indeed have anything to do with gender, for they are immutable objective realities that are not at all affected by our politics and ideals...

it's a sad, unsexy state of affairs

I hope this gave a little introductionary Thing and curiosity to poke at it further. potentially somewhere where someone has much more detail on the actual Philosophy of all of this, because I'd think that's cool, and also for this is like. pokes here pokes there, and also can you tell I'm actually jock from the focus I decided to take there? no? whew still in the closet on that one

[gilly-laughs]

Poker Face Ep 1-4 Review

I have watched all four episodes of Rian Johnson's new crime mystery show Poker Face. In my previous blog post I questioned why four episodes had been dropped all at once. I'm still not sure but I wanted to share some of my thoughts on these episodes. Mild spoilers to follow.

The first episode has the unenviable job of introducing the main character, her circumstances, her personality, and the hook for the rest of the season. It does this while also having it’s own crime mystery for Charlie to solve. The opening is very Colombo showing off the entire crime before rewinding a bit and shifting to Charlie’s perspective. Seeing the time of the crime from her pov without cutting to the crime really grounds the audience in the character. We know what really happened but we get to see Charlie poke at the pieces she sees.

The aesthetics of the show are perfect for the “seventies/eighties weekly crime mystery show” style they’re going for. Frost Jr’s suits are perfect and the casino also has slightly outdated look. Natalie and Charlie’s cars are older models that invoke that past time period. And the Mother of Pearl handle gun is just chef’s kiss. Despite the older aesthetic, smart phones and tablets do show up in the episode and are smartly integrated into the plot. The villain is smart enough to erase evidence from a phone and even check that he isn’t being recorded at one point but slips up in other ways.

The ending of the first episode is strong. Charlie solves the murder of her friend and gets back at the men who killed her. Her victory is short lived after Frost Jr kills himself in disgrace, which puts her on Mr. Frost’s short list. Thus the premise of the show, Charlie Cade, human lie detector, on the run from Mr. Frost’s men, is established.

Watched the second episode and I loved it. It’s very Incredible Hulk or The Fugitive with the main character wandering from town to town getting mixed up in the local crime of the week. I really like that the show isn’t afraid to spend time (17 minutes this episode) setting up the crime before Charlie shows up in the episode at all. The one thing I’m missing is a short intro explaining the premise; not because the show needs it but because it would fit with the style of the show and be fun.

Something like, “Charlie Cade is a human lie detector. Her best friend was murdered by the men who run Las Vegas. She uncovered the truth and now she’s on the run from Mr. Frost and his right hand man Cliff. They will stop at nothing to find and kill her.”

I like the recurring bit with Charlie not being able to remember a word. They did it a couple of times in first episode and once in the second. It’s a fun audience participation moment; the grownup version of a Muppet asking you to sound out the word on the screen.

Charlie’s lie detector skill is used but it isn’t the crux of the show. She does plenty of boots on the ground information gathering and investigation; mostly using her skill to ferret out contradictions (in a very Colomboesque manner).

The episode’s ending is a little week because Charlie has to run before seeing Jed getting arrested. The fact that we do see the police pulling up, lights and sirens blasting, lets us know he doesn’t get away with it after all.

Episode three is the first episode not directed by show creator Rian Johnson who wrote the first episode and directed the first and second episodes. The show’s style is so well defined that I did not see a noticeable difference. Plus it can be hard to say what differences are from directing, writing, or editing.

I was sad about the dog until it turned out to be a “MAGA dog”. It’s a funny bit and lessens to blow of the dog’s apparent death (spoiler the dog lives but is still racist). I thought the dog was going to stick around as Charlie’s “sidekick” but thankfully it gets a home at the local radio station.

The music cues while Charlie was tasting the different woods was a very interesting way to convey that information. Later when she first smells the cinnamon floss we hear an air horn which calls back to George calling it an air horn at the symphony which Charlie literally calls back to in the scene a minute later. And then later the lack of a sound becomes instrumental in unraveling the murder conspiracy.

It’s a little funny that this show, that streams on Peacock, would include Okja, which was a Netflix movie, as a plot point.

In this episode unlike the last one, Charlie gets to stay on the scene until the police show up giving her and us closure before she fades away. Overall I think I liked this episode a little bit more than the second but all three episodes so far have been very good. On to the next episode.

The fourth episode feels like the weakest episode so far. It’s still good but lacking some of the complexity of previous episodes. The murder is fairly straightforward and so Charlie’s investigation doesn’t have many twists to uncover.

I expected Ruby to deny Gavin wrote the song and for that to lead to a gotcha moment but it didn’t because she just admitted it. She checks out the amp and sees that it has the three prongs. So it should have been safe, which again felt like it should have lead to a gotcha moment but also just goes no where. And when Charlie realizes the whole band was in on the murder not just the one guy, that felt like it should have raised the stakes but she just accuses the whole band and gets kicked out.

Cliff showing up also was kind of anticlimactic. The villain’s right hand man catches up to her and she easily evades him and escapes.

The ending, where the song’s melody is revealed to be copied from the sitcom Gavin was watching and having the whole murder plot exposed by a true crime podcaster, was the best part of the episode. Still an enjoyable episode and if I wasn’t writing this review I probably wouldn’t have thought to much about it.

So, did Poker Face need a four episode drop? No, I don’t think so. The first episode is outstanding and has a strong story hook to bring back the audience in the following weeks. If they had wanted to play it safe, dropping the second episode as well to give a taste of the weekly format wouldn’t hurt. I just don’t know what is gained by dropping almost half the season, four out of ten episodes, on the first day. I’m not complaining to hard because the show is great and I plan to keep watching it in the upcoming weeks.

[snowdice]

Little Kestrel (Part 51) [Birds of Different Feathers Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan & Patton & Virgil (future Virgil/Patton but not in this story)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton, Virgil

Appear: Thomas

Mentioned: Janus

Summary:

It was supposed to be a quick job either way. Either Virgil would assassinate King Thomas of Prijaznia or he’d be caught and get executed. Yet, when Virgil gets the wrong bedroom and gets caught by Prince Logan and his future royal advisor, Patton, the job ends up getting way more complicated for the 14-year-old. He also ends up sleeping in a (actually pretty comfortable) closet for a few weeks…

Notes: Implied/referenced child abuse, assassination attempt, knives, torture mentioned, captivity, teenagers being really dumb, sexual coercion of minors implied, a minor offering sexual favors

This is a prequel to Kill Dear. I wrote it 100 words at a time on my blog, but this is the edited version. If you want to see how it was crafted (and possibly some future content), look at the tag proofread stories.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50

“I see you wore out Patton,” Logan said to Virgil. Patton glared at him from where he’d collapsed on Logan’s bedroom floor.

Logan had been accosted as soon as he’d gotten out of a meeting earlier in the day by Patton and Virgil as, apparently, they’d slipped up in front of Mr. Deknis. Luckily, the conversation had not been nearly as dire as they’d feared.

True, most people in Prijaznia wouldn’t question the rights of multrums anymore, but racism was still prevalent in some smaller pockets near the kingdom’s boarders. It was easy enough to explain that Virgil was from an area where prejudice against multrums was prevalent (not a lie) and that Patton, with his sensibilities would panic not wanting Mr. Deknis to realize Virgil’s internalized prejudices and would take him away to explain (also not a lie).

It had been easy enough to provide this explanation to Mr. Deknis and for the man to accept Virgil’s apology for his accidental offensiveness. There’d been a bit of lingering suspicion from the gardener, but nothing that wouldn’t fade with time.

They’d fled back to Logan’s room after that to get a chance to breathe away from adult supervision which is when Patton had dramatically fallen to the floor in exaggerated agony.

Patton had become Virgil’s newest victim of training. He currently had bruises and scrapes from attempting to scale the wall of the dovecote. When Virgil hadn’t been able to get him up that way, they’d taken an alternate route which explained the feathers and… other unpleasant messes now stuck to both of them. That’s why Patton was on the floor and not the furniture.

“Patton has a lot to work on,” Virgil said gravely. His eyes flickered to Logan, “but at least he’s willing to work on it.”

Logan shot him a tight-lipped glare. “Go take a shower, Virgil,” he said. “You’re dirty.”

Virgil stuck his tongue out at him in response but did turn and disappear into the next room to take a show.

“And what about you?” Logan asked the figure on the floor. “Are you going to go shower?”

There was a long pause. “I’ a min’te,” he yawned, not opening his eyes.

“Whatever you want,” Logan said. Though, he did sacrifice one pillow from his bed, making Patton lift his head so Logan could slip the pillow under it.

He sat on his bed with a book while waiting for Virgil to get out of the shower. He was pretty sure Patton had fallen asleep on the floor by the time the door to the bathroom opened once again. Virgil was in one of the sweaters Logan had given him when he’d first come here despite now having new fitted clothes of his own for every occasion. It still hung off his frame a bit, but not as much as it once had. He yawned softly, a sweater paw coming up to cover his mouth.

“Tired from your long day of being a menace?” Logan asked idly.

Virgil stopped mid yawn to glare at him.

Logan just smiled back and patted the bed next to him. Virgil seemed to forgive him for his teasing easily enough. He came to sit next to Logan on the bed, curling his legs underneath him.

Logan glanced down at the boy on the floor. “Patton, you can go take a shower in my bathroom if you don’t want to go all the way downstairs.”

There was no response.

Logan tsked. “What have you done to him?” Logan asked Virgil. He used to think Patton was the energetic one.

“He’s fine,” Virgil claimed.

“He’s filthy and unconscious on the floor,” Logan argued back.

Virgil just shrugged and leaned over to rest his chin on Logan’s shoulder. Clearly, he was a bit tired as well even if he wasn’t as much as Patton. “What are you reading?” he asked.

“Just starting a new book on code breaking,” Logan said.

Virgil hummed, but his fingers twitched on his lap a bit.

“Did you need something?” Logan asked.

“When you’re done reading that, could you help me read something?”

“Of course,” Logan said. “I’m at a stopping point, so we can do it now if you wish.”

Virgil nodded and went scrambling over the bed. Logan flinched as he was jostled from his position by the movement.

He opened a drawer in the nightstand that Logan had emptied out from him a while back. It’s where he kept the first protection charm he’d made when not carrying it and a picture Patton had drawn him once. He was also, apparently, keeping a book there.

He plopped said book down on Logan’s lap. It was a book about different species of orchids.

“Mr. Deknis gave me this book and I think I’ve narrowed it down to a few flowers I like by the pictures, but most of the words are really hard in this book,” he explained. “Could you read a few passages to me.”

“Of course,” Logan replied, taking the book from him. The book was on the larger size, though not nearly as large as many books Logan read and was covered with hand-drawn flowers, in particular, orchids. There were small pieces of colorful paper sticking out of the top, marking certain pages. “Are these indicating the pages you’d like me to read to you?” Logan asked.

Virgil nodded, moving closer to once again settle his chin on Logan’s shoulder. He peered down at the book in Logan’s lap intently.

Logan smiled softly as he cracked open the book to the first marked page.

Virgil listened with rapt attention as Logan went through the description of the flowers on each page. Each of the flowers had a short blurb about them along with a table that explained things like how much water and shade each needed. There were 6 flowers in total marked, and Virgil did not interrupt Logan once as he read through them.

Logan glanced at Virgil as he finished reading the last bit of text and Virgil reached out to take the book back. Logan closed it and handed it to him.

Virgil frowned down at the book in contemplation for a long moment.

Then, he opened the book to the fourth marked page. “I like this one,” he said, looking up at Logan, seemingly for approval.

Logan nodded. “It’s very nice, Virgil.”

“How do you say the name again?” he asked.

“Zygopetalum maculatum,” Logan told him.

Virgil’s eyes squinted a bit, and he didn’t attempt to say it. He just nodded.

“We can practice pronouncing it if you’d like,” Logan offered.

He nodded sheepishly and closed the book. “Maybe tomorrow,” he suggested as he stashed the book back in his drawer and curled up on his side of the bed.

“Tired?” Logan asked.

Virgil closed his eyes and nodded, cheek scraping over his pillow.

“Want me to read more of Into the Mist?” Logan asked.

Virgil nodded again, and Logan reached over to the nightstand, his hand passing over the code book he’d been reading earlier to the novel he was reading with Virgil.

Logan didn’t even get a full chapter in until Virgil was softly snoring. They’d probably have to read everything again with Virgil more awake next time.

Eventually, he managed to poke Patton awake long enough for him to rinse off in Logan’s shower, but not enough for him to retire to his own bedroom. Instead, he flopped onto the foot of the bed and promptly fell unconscious again. Logan’s bed was crowded that night.

Want to read more? Click below!

Birds of Different Feathers Master Post

My Masterpost

[juniperskye]

Silence is Louder than Words.

Sneak peek: Joel and Ellie return to Jackson, Tommy gets them set up in a home on the outskirts of the community (per Joel’s request). Joel notices they have a neighbor and takes an interest in her. Tommy lets him know that they don’t know much about you other than you had been through some serious shit, but that you haven’t spoken a word since you’d arrived in Jackson. Tommy asks Joel to keep an eye on you…and in doing so, Joel may just be able to break through your defenses.

Joel Miller x (Fem) Reader

Fluff/Angst

Word count: 3512

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited, I did my best (ngl I had so much more planned for this but it didn't seem like it would work in this part of the story...so maybe more to come. IDK) - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! My blog is 18+, minors DNI, minimal use of y/n (there were parts it just couldn’t be avoided), No description of reader other than she/her pronouns and her sister was similar to Ellie (could be perceived as personality), implied age gap (kinda?), explicit language, reader has selective mutism due to trauma, Canon typical violence, PTSD, panic attacks, nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, mention of r*pe (past trauma, not detailed), mention of pregnancy (past, not detailed), mention of child murder (past, some detail), mention of murder. IF THESE ARE TRIGGERS FOR YOU, DO NOT READ!!!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

“Joel, it’s really good to have you guys back here…safe.” Tommy said, pulling away from Joel.

“We’re glad to be back.” Joel grunted.

“Well, I have you guys situated in a house on the outermost part of the community. I figured you’d prefer it that way.” Tommy explained.

“Thanks Tommy.” Joel nodded.

Tommy led Ellie and Joel over to a house that was quite literally on the outskirts of the Jackson compound. Joel took note of the lack of neighbors as they walked further and further and it put his mind at ease, knowing he’d have some privacy. As they neared the house, it was Ellie who noticed the small white house just off to the left of their own.

“Who lives there?” Ellie questioned.

“Oh, that’s Y/N’s house. She’s real quiet, y’all won’t have to worry about her stirring up any trouble.” Tommy informed.

“I thought you said no neighbors?” Joel gruffed.

“Joel, she’s quiet. You don’t have to worry about that. Honestly, I was kind of hoping you’d keep an eye on her, just make sure she’s okay.” Tommy pleaded.

“Tommy, I’m not gonna play babysitter for a grown ass woman.”

“That’s not what I’m askin’ and you know it. She just – she’s been through it. She keeps to herself mostly and Maria and I worry about her.” Tommy explained.

“Fine. I’ll keep an eye on her. But I’m not gonna go and chit chat with her.” Joel rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t expect that.” Tommy began. “From either of you.” He mumbled. “Why don’t y’all head in and get settled, you can meet Maria and me for dinner. Sound good?”

“We will be there!” Ellie replied, pulling Joel inside by the sleeve before he could decline.

Joel couldn’t help but wonder why Tommy was so worried about you. Tommy had boasted about how the people of Jackson were all strong and each held their own. They wouldn’t be here otherwise. So, what was your deal? He’d mentioned that you had gone through some tough shit, but what was it? He had to say, he was intrigued.

His interest only grew once he saw you for the first time. It was about a week after his and Ellie’s arrival back in Jackson. You had been walking around the mess hall with a basket full of homemade goods, passing them around to people. He’d seen you pass out a few bottles of what he assumed to be some sort of toiletries as well as some clothing items to various people.

Joel waited until Ellie had run off to sit with some of her new friends to ask about you.

“So, what’s her deal?” Joel inquired.

“Who? Y/N…I thought you weren’t playing babysitter?” Tommy teased.

“I’m not. I just want to know why you think she needs looking after.” Joel replied.

“Honestly Joel, we don’t know much about her. She hasn’t said a single word in the four years she’s lived here.” Maria informed.

“Bullshit. She’s said somethin’ at some point.” Joel scoffed.

“No, Joel she really hasn’t. She knows some sign, but she mostly writes stuff down if she really needs to communicate.” Tommy said.

“Damn. Well, what’s her role around here since she doesn’t talk?” Joel couldn’t help but be confused.

“She makes all sorts of stuff for the people of our community. She’s figured out how to make shampoo, soap, lotion, sunblock, toothpaste…I mean the list goes on. She also repairs clothing when necessary, she’s the best seamstress in town.” Maria smiled at how wonderful you’d been since your arrival, jumping right in to contribute.

Joel was taken aback at how much you clearly brought to the community. Despite your silence, you’d made yourself known. Joel could see how you were well liked based on the greetings you’d received from those you were delivering to. He found it very odd that you’d keep to yourself despite Jackson’s fondness for you.

Joel had always been a loner, but it had been due to his stubbornness, sarcasm, potty mouth and overall negative attitude. His mother had always said “Joel, ever the pessimist” when he’d say something even remotely negative in his youth.

Learning all this about you had only transformed Joel’s intrigue into a need to know you. He couldn’t help how he was drawn to you, he wondered if it was because, perhaps, you were kindred spirits.

Joel woke with a gasp, his body covered in a cold sweat. Another nightmare, it had been the same recurring dream night after night since he’d found Ellie. Every time he made it through the hospital, and he’d gotten to the operating room, only this time he barges in to see the doctor holding her brain in his hands.

He woke up the same way too. Startled awake, laying in a pool of his own sweat. Joel tried to get back to sleep, but it was no use. He thought about it and decided to take a walk to clear his mind, now that he and Ellie were in the safe confines of Jackson, he was able to do so.

Joel didn’t want to stray too far in the case that Ellie needed him, so he was more so pacing from the front of their house, over to the front of yours. It was a warm and humid evening; Jackson had been nearing Autumn and Joel was looking forward to the break in the weather.

A muffled shout pulled Joel’s attention from smacking the mosquito that had surely bitten him by now. He glanced back toward his house to see if Ellie’s light had been turned on – nothing. He shook his head, ready to brush away the thought when he heard a louder scream, only it was coming from your home.

Joel rushed to the door listening just to be sure and when he heard you scream again he was quick to open the door. He was surprised to find it unlocked, although the people of Jackson seemed at ease in their community.

He swiftly surveyed the room, desperate to find you and ensure your safety. Joel found you thrashing around on your couch, screaming, begging for help. He made his way over to where you were laying and gently placed his hand on your shoulder. He shook you a few times to rouse you, but when you woke, you hadn’t reacted how Joel would have expected.

“What? What are you doing here? GET OUT!” You shouted, pushing Joel away from you.

Joel shot up, mostly in shock at hearing you speak for the first time, but also to follow your request. He made his leave, not wanting to upset you any further.

You couldn’t believe it. Joel had come into your home and woken you up. What was he thinking? Why had he been there? Had your nightmare haunted you so badly that your screams could be heard from his home? You were horrified and humiliated. You had done so well, hiding your demons, shoving them down so far that no one could see, and in a single night they’d all come out and bore themselves to none other than Joel miller.

The next few days were horrible. You had done everything in your power to avoid Joel, who seemed to be seeking you out. On top of that, your insomnia had made a wonderful return. Your mind refusing respite in fear of Joel finding you in another traumatic night terror.

You weren’t sure what had even caused your nightmare that night. You hadn’t had one in nearly a year, but thinking about it, there were a few potential triggers that came to mind. The first possibility was Maria being far enough along in her pregnancy to be showing, the second being Ellie’s striking similarities to your sister, and the last being Tommy’s mention of them finding and taking care of some raiders on his patrol that day.

Hell, it was probably a combination of all those things that had you reliving some of the worst moments of your life. You hoped that the feelings would soon pass so you could get some sleep.

“Tommy, I need you to be straight with me. What happened to Y/N before she got here? Like what do you know about her?” Joel pushed.

“Joel, I already told you we don’t know much.” Tommy huffed.

“But you know something!”

“Okay listen, she arrived here alone. She had a small pack with her and that was it. Maria and I sat with her and asked her dozens of questions, and we didn’t get a single word out of her. I stepped out to deal with something and when I got back, she had been writing her responses to Maria. I know that she had previously been with a group but none of them survived. And based on what I saw, I’d say whatever happened wasn’t pretty.” Tommy explained.

Joel just nodded, content with learning more about you. But still so curious to know what was haunting you. He couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to protect you. Of wanting to find what was causing you harm and making it so it could never hurt you again. He’s trying desperately to figure out this need to hold you and make everything okay, why he was so drawn to you.

“Look Joel, Maria told you how much she does for the community, and you’ve seen for yourself that she sticks to herself, she’s quiet, and she doesn’t cause trouble. So, we don’t push her to know more. The last thing I will say is that whatever she went through…she is a damn good shot. Do with that information what you will.” Tommy patted Joel on the shoulder and walked off.

Joel sat with the information for a bit. Had you been forced to kill your way to Jackson, is that what was haunting you? That is something that is justified, those things, they aren’t people anymore and raiders well if you didn’t kill them, then they surely would kill you so again justified. It had to have been something far worse if you refused to speak.

Joel decided he’d observe you, and he’d be there when you had another nightmare. Since losing Sarah, Joel hadn’t really wanted to be around anyone. Tess was stubborn, more so than Joel, so she was able to force herself in – and even then he didn’t open up much. And well, Ellie, she was his second chance at being a dad. But you, you had come in and taken up residency in Joel’s mind and it was because of that feeling, one he hadn’t experienced in a long time, that he knew he needed to break down your walls.

And that is how Joel found himself trying to comfort you through another nightmare. Joel had been out walking late at night again, the nights had started to finally cool off and he’d found it helped clear his head to take walks like this one.

It was nearing two in the morning when he heard it, your cries for help. He made his way up your porch steps and carefully tried the handle, saying a silent cheer when the handle turned, and the door gave way.

This had been different than the last time, as he approached you, he noticed the tear tracks lining your cheeks and he could hear your quiet whimpers. He knew he had to do this right if he was going to get you to let him in.

“Sweetheart? Wake up, you’re safe. I’m here and you are okay.” He gently shook you.

You woke up, startled once again to find Joel Miller is the one waking you. This man had a lot of nerve letting himself into your house, yet again, and while you’d love to give him an earful right now, the pain of what your nightmare had brought forth in your mind was crippling.

So, you threw yourself into Joel’s arms. He wrapped himself around you and repositioned himself, so he was sat on the couch, and you were in his lap. Your face was buried in his neck and his arms were tight around your waist. He ran his fingers gently through your hair and whispered reassurances in your ear.

He held you until you fell asleep and when you woke up at sunrise, he released you and saw himself out. He knew he had to gain your trust, and it would take time. This is how it would need to be done, he would have to keep quiet and leave when the morning came.

A few hours later, after he and Ellie had breakfast, she was heading out to school. Joel was expecting her to leave like usual, so he was pretty confused when she returned to the kitchen carrying a small wicker basket.

“This was on the porch, I gotta head to class or I’ll be late!” She waved and headed out.

“Thanks kiddo. Have a good day.” Joel said goodbye.

He slowly pulled the items from the basket and a small smile graced his features. He brought them out one-by-one, a bottle of sunscreen, a bar of soap, some solid deodorant and a new flannel shirt. Beneath everything was a small note.

"Joel, I wanted to give you these as a sort of thank you and apology. Sorry for yelling at you that first night and thank you for last night. I figured you and Ellie could use some hygiene products that weren’t pre-apocalyptic. I also noticed how torn up your flannel had been and wanted you to have one that wasn’t threadbare.                                                                                                 -Y/N”

Joel’s smile grew, this was just the beginning of his mission to break down your walls and it was off to a successful start.

You proceeded to have nightmares at least twice a week for the next three months. Joel was with you for every single one. Each time he’d gently wake you and he’d shush you, assuring that you were okay. The only thing that had changed was that more recently, Joel would carry you off of the couch and to your room, where he’d hold you close until you fell asleep.

In the last week the nightmares had come every night, and while Joel so badly wanted to ask why, he knew that he had to let you come to him. You had spoken to him in two-to-three-word responses in the last few weeks and Joel was so glad that you’d been able to open up to him even that much.

What he didn’t know was that the reason your nightmares had become more frequent was because Maria had finally given birth. Seeing her with her baby had been killing you, it had brought back so many awful memories and you knew that you’d need to tell Joel. You’d wanted to tell him days ago why you had been having such a hard time, but you were also terrified of it changing the dynamic between you.

Something was different tonight; you had slipped Joel a note during dinner at the mess hall, inviting him to come by your place a bit earlier. When he arrived you couldn’t help but be nervous, you felt so unsure of everything, but you were starting to trust Joel and some part of you knew that he would understand everything.

You had decided it was now or never. He had been with you every night of the week and he never pushed you to share. He told you about what he had been through and some of the things he had done to get here and had let you meet him with silence. You supposed now was your turn to share.

“Joel?”

“Yeah sweetheart?” He tried to hide his surprise at your initiation.

“I want to tell you what happened…is that okay?”

“Of course, sweet girl. Only share what you’re comfortable with okay? I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” Joel pressed a light kiss to your temple.

“So, it started with my sister and I, she was younger than me, Ellie reminds me a lot of her. She and I well, we got caught up with these raiders. Well, they, they uh…” You choked.

“It’s okay honey, take your time.” Joel rubbed a soothing hand down your spine.

“They forced themselves on us and left us both beaten and bloody. After that, my sister was in a bad way Joel. She uh, she was reckless and careless, and she got herself killed. And well, I ended up pregnant. I found my way to this small group of people that were headed here to Jackson. I guess they had heard it was a community and it was safe. We lost people along the way and sometimes we’d stop and stay somewhere for a month or so if we found it suitable. Anyway, by this time there’s only four of us left and I had my baby…” Tears started freely flowing down your face and Joel gently wiped them away.

“Sweetheart you really don’t have to…” Joel could tell where this was going.

“I need to say it. I’ve never said this out loud and I need to. My son was born, and he was beautiful. But he had colic and so he cried all the time. I did everything I could to keep him quiet as we went but it was putting us in danger, and I knew it. I offered to let them go on without me, I told them that he and I would come when he’d grown out of it. But a little while later I’d woken up to find him dead.” You sobbed. “They had suffocated him, claiming that we’d never get anywhere with him crying all the time and that they didn’t want to leave me behind. I killed them all Joel. I didn’t even hesitate. I pulled my gun out and I shot all three of them and then I left and never turned back.”

Everything came together, it had all started to make perfect sense. You’d held onto this guilt for the last four to five years. Survivors guilt over the loss of your sister, guilt of not being there for your child – something Joel knew all too well, and the guilt of killing people that you once cared about. He completely understood, he too would’ve stayed silent had he been through all that you had. What is there to say when you’ve lost everyone.

Joel held you tighter, allowing you to cry softly into his chest. He wanted to give you a few moments to calm yourself down before he said anything to you. He knew how delicate this situation was, and he needed to do things right.

“Sweetheart, I want to start by saying how sorry I am. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. I also want you to know that you can’t feel guilty, and I know that it’s easier said than done but darlin’ you did everything you needed to in order to survive. You wouldn’t be here any other way baby girl.” Joel pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Thank you Joel. For being here and for – for listening to me. I can’t quite explain it, but I trust you and so, I don’t know, I just wanted to tell you. Having you around has made me feel better honestly and it’s sort of the only way I can sleep anymore.” You explained.

“I trust you too baby, and you’re not the only one. I sleep better with you here too, having you in my arms these last few months, it’s been amazing. Besides Tommy and Ellie, I think you’re about the only person I trust.” Joel smiled down at you.

From then on, things had changed between Joel and you. He was the only person you talked to, you shared everything with him. Joel and you spent every night together some nights at your place and more recently, some nights at his. Initially, you’d expressed your worries in doing so, you told him you didn’t want the entire town to know, and you were worried about running into Ellie in the hallway.

Joel had told you that there was no need for some public spectacle and that there was no need for worries that it would get out amongst the townies. He also reassured you that Ellie was a good kid, and she could keep a secret.

So, little by little you opened up to Joel, Ellie, and soon enough Maria and Tommy too. The five of you had become a family, you’d found that you fit into it almost too well, so much so that it was beginning to scare you.

Despite your fears, you allowed yourself to fall. Joel had proven to you time and time again that he was there for you and that he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d also gotten you living by the philosophy that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and you needed to take this life while you had it.

So, you did.

[hermit-god-au-pog]

Welcome to the blog and the AU!

As a little intro before the actual intro story to this au, since this will be pinned, A few things to mention!

I'll occasionally edit this post to update the master list/add links or info. And keep in mind, these are all the characters, nothing here is really related to the CCs themselves.

But a small very quick rundown. This will take place around the beginning of season 9, still in their starter-base era. This au is purely fiction and probably not that accurate to any true storyline hermits had haha. 

If anyone has any questions, comments, etc my asks and dm’s are open! Do I know where im going with this au? No not really, it's really an ‘As I Go’ kind of thing.

And if you were here since the start/when I had a bunch of other stuff going on, a lot of that info is deleted for now and will be worked back into the story later on. This blog will be a mix of stories and art, cause I like to do both.

One more thing, I will have the characters of SweetestHoneybee, Mjlor, and DoctorSiren in this au! As well as DoctorSiren's Jumbro's headcanon(which is basically Jimmy and Mumbo are brothers). If any of them have become uncomfortable with this overtime ill respect any boundaries they have <3

But enough intro from me, enjoy this little story and hope you enjoy the blog 07

Once upon a time, Deities ruled separately. Each having their own realm or home to their lonesome or to just them and their worshipers. Back in these days, it was a lonely time to be called a diety.

But in a late Beta build, a Diety has come to be. At first, their purpose was unknown to them, wandering around and making friends with others, heck even joining a realm under a fake persona to try and find their purpose. And was this the best choice they made.

This person? They went by the name Xisuma, their chosen name for non-diety purposes. And in this server, Xisuma found around 5 other deities, all doing a similar thing to him, hiding their identities to find out who they want to be, or be someone different from who they thought they were. This was also the year the Watchers mysteriously appeared, the Listeners not too far being either. These strange beings claim to be alive since the beginning of time but never announced themself till now. And whether you were to believe it or not, their powers rivaled deities. Hell, they even took down a few corrupt deities and harnessed their powers for themselves, or so it seemed.

But looking back at Xisuma and his newfound friends, it seemed their ‘season’ was coming to an end. And not wanting this new wonderful experience to end, and maybe a bit of a deeper feeling in his gut telling him not to let go of this server just yet, he offered to keep the world going. Offered to take responsibility and keep it up to date and watch over it. And after a few meetings and long nights, the decision was made.

The world was reset sometime later. Some left, and a lot more joined. The number of secret deities bumped up to 11. A few had heard about this place on their own, and a few heard it from another deity or friend within the group. 

And seeing this new growth, Xisuma decided to start a secret club of sorts for them all. It was sweet and harmless, mostly. Just, them able to talk and express themselves in godly ways they couldn't ever do before with anyone else. It was really helpful to a lot of them, if not all of them.

Everything went as smoothly as it could go that season, and heck, next season all but 13 in this season were now deities. It was looking up for this little community of deities forming here.

Around a fourth through the season, Xisuma announced an idea to the other deities. They were in the majority here, and they all trusted their fellow members, so why not reveal their secrets? The question had to be sat on for a while for some people.

But, in the end, later into the server, a few non-deity players had already left,  and this group of all-powerful being gathered everyone else. 11 were left to tell their secret too.

And thank the gods, they all took it well. One was a bit, overwhelmed, and had already planned of leaving soon. They promised to keep their secret and keep all of them in a good place in their heart but did leave the server a few days later.

For the rest, they were all rightfully surprised, but what was also shocking was there were a few immortal or semi-immortal beings alongside them as well, three specifically purely immortal.

Next season, it seems a lot more deities were catching onto this new, ‘hangout’ spot that's been created. Heck, a lot of them had smaller meetings with other deities and they just did their jobs together instead of alone. As the season went on, more of the mortal members left. All on good terms, not being pushed out in any way, but they all had their reasons.

By season 5 however, it seemed all mortals had left, and it was time for a new set of rules, a new order. Hermitcraft was now no longer an ordinary server, it has gotten stricter locks and codes, and its vaults and data were harder to breach. This server? Was now a home of deities. Of course, on the outside, no one knew that, they just assume they'd gotten more strict on joining for whatever reason. But on the inside, everyone was immortal in some way, everyone trusted one another, and they were here to help one another. No longer were they alone and fending for themselves, they all now had a place to truly call home.

And whether they decided to stay or go, whether new deities or immortals were added later on, once a hermit, Hermitcraft will always be your home to come back to. Overtime teams are formed to make everyone's lives a bit easier and to bring some “mortal” normal-ness back into hermitcraft.

With 3 teams, Ambassador’s and advertisers, and then teams of just Ambassador’s or just Advertisers; The hermits make a way to connect back with the mortal world besides just doing their jobs. Heck, most if not all hermits even start up some ‘vlogging’ of their builds, life, and shenanigans and start growing a fanbase that way. While not directly leaning into their deities' powers and gifts, for most it feels nice to have a fanbase like that again.

Now, are their darker secrets left unanswered and swept under the rug? Maybe they just haven't been seen yet? Of course there are! But deities can only do so much still, they can't be looking into every odd dark crack all the time. And with a server as protected as theirs, why should they have constant stress and paranoia over it? Everything’s gonna be fine, they travel worlds all the time. Even if there was danger, they can just lose it by going to another world.

Their deities, after all, nothing would be stupid enough to fuck with 20+ of them, right?

[theblackcubeofdarkness]

I posted 1,075 times in 2022

That's 1,075 more posts than 2021!

293 posts created (27%)

782 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@parables-for-days

@ask-msd-6678

@biggitybugs

@adventuresofcandymareinvrchat

@a-spoonful-o-generosity

I tagged 779 of my posts in 2022

Only 28% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 260 posts

#the black cube of darkness - 143 posts

#rp - 137 posts

#ooc - 100 posts

#joke post - 92 posts

#ask blog - 90 posts

#parables for days - 46 posts

#askmsd6678 - 30 posts

#hand drawn art - 24 posts

#n1ghtw1ng scp - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#his d̵̼̞͍̲̅̚ȉ̶̤̝͓m̶̛̩̟̑̓ȩ̸̨̜̹̔́̕͘n̸̥̣͚͔̐̎̽͘ţ̴̯͚̀̔͠ͅi̴̧̼̺̠͌̐ǫ̸͈̭̣͒͠ṇ̶̾̕ ̸̡̰͍̬͌̑b̸̯͇̄u̶̬̟͐r̷̘̫̋̄͘͜n̴͎̖̪̫͆̕e̸̢̗̻̪̎́͊d̴̨̫̤̜͗̏͝

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

make the cube french

SHOOT I MADE THAT ALREADY!!! WHY DID I THINK AHEAD?

20 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

#4

The Ask Box is Open!

This is a WOY AU RP and Ask blog ALL CROSS OVERS ARE ACCEPTED because im insane! My time zone is PST (Pacific Standard Time)

If you want to send an ask to start an RP feel free to!

Charectors:

-The Black Cube! (Character is owned by Disney)

-Phillip the Snom!

-Robby Lobster!

(If you notice that I made and inappropriate comment or action PLS LET ME KNOW!!! Im dumb alot and dont see the obvious! it would be appreciated thanks!)

(Edited: 12/6/2022 Ok here are the rules!

SOMETHING

No god-modding

Expect the cube to defy the universal laws

If you go insane due to this blog I am not legally responsible

I'm out of ideas.

Side RP Blogs

@snakefruitpolitics - Cooke Run RP account (I know I never played it before just thought id be fun)

@thewizardanon - What I use to cast spells on other blogs!

20 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

#3

The Cube is bored

After the cube was thrown into a void he has been bored and gone through the 6 stages of grief... now he is bored

( @theblindfoldedprince has won the achievement Bore the Cube! )

21 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

#2

"We don't talk about that here..... "

32 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A Thankful Cube Message

I'm grateful for being able to start this blog and encounter SUCH AMAZING AND NICE BLOGS THANK YOU TO ALL THE BLOGS I HAVE ENCOUNTERD AND HAVE A NICE DAY CYCLE!!!

A Thanks To (thanks for being so kind)

@ask-msd-6678 : FOR BEING SUPER KIND AND UNDERSTANDING!

@ask-red-velvet-cookie : For somehow withstanding my chaos that I cause... How? AND BEING SUPER KIND! (Seriously thank you!)

@parables-for-days : For being so nice and king despite my chaos!

@vaderssolace : For also being kind and nice despite my chaos (and for drawing me (: )

@painttasticpony : For being INCREDIBLY NICE AS WELL and including me in some of her projects!

@xabby09 : For helping me start off my blog with a promo!

@askbananapie : FOR BEING SO AMAZING TO ALL BLOGS THAT START WHAT YOU DO IS AMAZING AND SO KING ( Also banana in trouble go support him! )

@a-spoonful-o-generosity @ : Does this need any explanation? THANK YOU YOU HELPED IN SO MANY WAYS AND BEIGN SUPER KIND!

@askgermanv1nce : For being Probably one of the nicest people on this site!

@therealcelestia : For being a funny blog!

@fractiouslemonofficial and his wife : FOR BEING SO DARN AMAZING AND KING AND ALSO BRINGING JOY INTO ARE LIVES!!!

@ask-light-rain-and-buds : For being very kind and inclusive to so many blogs.

@watchdogsworld : for helping me learn the rope of the jungle of tumblr (and being very kind)

And Since I'm getting al little tired here's a quick list of blogs that I am also thankful for but without the repetitive dialogue from my part!

@adventuresofcandymareinvrchat , @nox-lunarwing , @a-bunch-of-small-aliens , @asktwilighteclipse , @katsuko-rp-blog , @her-faithfulstudent , @rainbow-dash-the-ultimate , @askdrunktwilight , @wanderfan2000 , @janetthecrazyplanet , @thelittlestflyingdoe @askthoughtformfluttershy , @n1ghtw1ng-scp , @asktwilighteclipse (probably going to add more today)

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHERS I WANT TO THANK AS WELL SO HERES A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERY SINGLE BLOG I HAVE ENCOUNTERED ON THIS WONDERFULL SITE SO THANK YOU YET AGAIN! (my fourth update wow im forgetting A LOT of stuff)

42 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[esmerulia-chantelle]

The Best Thing That Ever Happened and His Greatest Gift

Azul Ashengrotto x GN!Reader

Summary: It was Azul's birthday and you decided to take him to the beach. He later proposes a deal. Whoever loses has to do what the winner wishes for. Do you accept?

Notes: Established relationship. Azul calls you sweetheart. Reader wears a dress. Mentions of reader not being able to swim in the deep.

A/N: A birthday special for Azul. I know his birthday is over but I still want to repost this because.. just because. 🥹🥹🥹

A repost from my old blog @escha-evenstar. Edited.

It was a beautiful afternoon. The sun was shining down as the gentle breeze fluttered by. There was the calm push and pull of the waves giving the atmosphere a sense of serenity and two pairs of bare feet that touched the fine sand, leaving behind a trail of footprints.

You and Azul were walking along the shore, hand in hand. His birthday party wrapped up earlier today so he could spend some more time alone with you. Azul had a planned out date for the two of you but upon your insistence to first take a walk at the beach and watch the sunset, he easily relented. After all, how could he say no to you?

So there he was with you. His sash, coat, and vest were discarded along with his socks and shoes. The white dress shirt he was wearing was slightly unbuttoned from the top, revealing more of the collar bone area. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up and his silver half-rim glasses were also removed, giving him a more casual appearance. You, on the other hand, wore a white dress that complimented Azul's outfit. Your sash and heels were left behind together with his things as the two of you walked barefoot on the seashore.

"Sweetheart, as much as I always enjoy being with you, I am rather curious as to why you were insistent in bringing me here. I believe you haven't told me yet your reason," Azul said to you, squeezing your hand lightly.

You stopped walking and turned your eyes to gaze at his ocean blue ones. There was a certain gleam in your bright eyes as you looked at him.

"I just wanted to spend some time here with you," you said while smiling. "That, and I wanted to take a swim. Hehe. So, let's go!"

You suddenly pulled at his hand, dragging him to the open waters.

"Wait! We're not wearing any swimwear. Our clothes will get wet!" Said Azul worriedly.

You assured him that it was fine and although Azul could have easily stopped you with his strength, he didn't. Instead, he let himself be carried away with your whims. The water level was past your chest, almost reaching your chin, when you stopped dragging him further into the sea.

"This is our stop! Because.. you know," you said while looking at him. "I can't swim in the deep part."

You chuckled to yourself before looking at the horizon, basking in the gorgeous light of the sunset.

"It's beautiful," you said, eyes completely admiring the view.

Azul watched the sun slowly set. The mix of red, orange, and yellow painted the sky as the sun came down, touching the sea with an ethereal glow. He then drifted his eyes to your face and found himself completely stunned. The way your eyes glimmered with the soft rays of the sun. The way your skin glowed against the orange hues. The way your soft lips curved into that beautiful smile. At this moment, to Azul, you were more than just beautiful. You were absolutely—

"Breathtaking."

Your eyes widened in surprise before turning your head to look at him.

"What?"

Azul blushed, realizing he spoke his thoughts out loud. He averted his gaze from you as the pink blush on his cheeks remained.

"I said you were breathtaking," he mumbled.

You felt your own cheeks start to get warm from his words as you cupped your cheeks shyly. Your eyes darted to and from his face but upon doing so, you couldn't help but admire the way he looked. How the pretty shade of his blue eyes reflected the sunbeam. How his silver-gray hair blended with the golden light. How his skin flushed as his lips pouted slightly.

"Azul?" You called his name softly as you stepped closer to him. "You're breathtaking."

You grabbed his arm and pulled him down to leave a gentle kiss on his cheek. Azul blushed even more, earning him a giggle from you.

"Oh! Before I forget.." you trailed off.

"What—"

Azul flinched as you splashed him directly on the face. He closed his eyes from your continuous splashing and he could hear the amusement in your voice as you laughed. You stopped after a while to check on him.

"Are you okay?" You asked while still giggling.

Azul wiped the seawater from his eyes and when he opened them, you could see the mischievous glint in them as he smirked.

"Very funny, sweetheart. I believe it's my turn now to make a move." He grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him, your chest now in direct contact with his.

"Let's make a deal. If you could reach the shore before the sun completely sets, I'll give you a fine reward."

"And what is this fine reward you speak of?"

"Anything that you want."

"Ooh~ Really? Sounds interesting. Okay then! And if I fail?"

"Then it is you who'll be giving me a fine reward."

"Anything that you want too?"

"But of course. I need to make things fair, don't I?"

You mused over his proposal carefully. The sun was already setting, but then again, it's not like the shore was that far away.

"So? Have we got a deal?" His thumb made circles against your hip slowly, as if coaxing you to agree.

"Hmmm.. you'll just stay here? You won't swim and pull me back?" You asked.

He hummed in response. "Mhm. I'll just stay here. I won't swim and pull you back."

"Deal!" You said with a mirthful expression. You were about to start walking back to shore, but Azul still has his hold on you.

"Ah ah~ Not yet, sweetheart. I know we don't do written contracts, but I'm going to need something as a.. token of our deal."

He changed the way he held your body, instead wrapping a single arm around your waist but still pulling you in close. He tilted your head upwards with his fingers as his thumb grazed lightly on your lower lip. The moment he leaned his head downwards, you knew exactly what he meant. You wrapped your arms around his neck and met his lips in a sweet, loving kiss.

Azul hugged you closer and now cradled the back of your head with his hand as he kissed you. Again. And again. And again. With each kiss, it grew more heated and fervent and you felt yourself melting against him.

And although you loved sharing a kiss with Azul, you needed to get away. You needed to pull yourself away and get back to the shore for that reward! But every time you did so, Azul just brought you closer and kissed you more passionately than before.

"Mmh.. Zul~" you moaned softly. "Let.. go.. please.."

"Don't.. want to," he said in between kisses. "I'm not.. letting you.. go.."

Azul kissed you like there was no tomorrow.

Before you knew it, the sun had already set. The bright orange glow had morphed into a dark black and blue as the stars twinkled in the night sky. When you pulled apart, you could see the deviousness in his face.

"Looks like I win, sweetheart," he said while smirking.

"That's cheating! But I guess I'll let you have your win since it is your birthday." You chuckled at him and playfully hit him on the chest. "So, what does the birthday boy wish for?"

The certain gleam in his eyes was replaced with a soft look of yearning.

"Please be mine. Always and forever."

You could see the immense and true love Azul has for you in his pretty blue eyes, mixed with a slight hint of anxiety. A fear that one day, you'll end up leaving him.

"I'm already yours, Azul. Always and forever."

You cupped his face, gently stroking his cheeks.

"Do you know why? Because I love you. I love how hardworking you are. How you always give your best in everything that you do. I love how you're so confident when doing things. I love how you're so smart and skillful. You always amaze."

Azul felt his heart flutter from each word that came out of your lips.

"I love your voice. I love it when you play the piano and sing for me, even though I always get flustered. Hehe. You just have a very beautiful voice. I love your sweet and charming side. You always make me feel loved and cared for when you spoil me with your gifts and affection."

He felt the blush on his face again but his eyes didn't shy away from yours.

"I also love how you trust me enough to show your vulnerable side, and especially when you show me your merform. You're a beautiful being, Azul. Beautiful, handsome, attractive, everything!"

Azul's eyes were becoming glossy.

"I could say a lot more, but my list just goes on and on," you giggled. "The point is: I love you, and everything about you Azul. I am happy I came here and met you. I am happy you were born."

Your thumb gently wiped a single tear from the corner of his eye.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Azul. I'll devote myself to always loving you and forever making you feel happy, as you do with me. And that's why I'm all yours."

Azul has never felt this much loved and special, not until he met you. He felt like all three of his hearts were about to pop out from the sheer amount of affection he was receiving from you.

"I love you so much, Y/N. You are my world. You are my everything. I'll always love you, and I'll do my best to forever make you feel loved and happy."

"I love you too, Azul. Happy birthday."

You and Azul shared one more passionate kiss. The serene waves of the ocean danced around, the stars glittered the dark sky, and the moon reflected its white light, cascading a heavenly radiance on the two of you.

"Thank you for the gift," Azul said while smiling.

"Mm? But I haven't given it yet," you said, looking confused.

"My gift was already given, sweetheart." He chuckled as he cupped your cheek tenderly, gazing at your eyes lovingly.

"You're the greatest gift I could ever ask for."

Masterlist here!

If you enjoyed this: likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. Thank you for reading!

[wroteonedad]

7100AD Yambe Tam

I think I've learnt a lot about myself since I started to begin writing up this blog. I've learnt about the types of works I enjoy the most, the type of music I am most drawn to, the endless list of movies I have missed out on being on the spectrum and being young. I have learned about others, the types of things they like too.

Not long after the launch of starting up my blog on here, I wondered to myself how I could reach a wider audience on different parts of the internet and it soon occurred to me that Instagram would be a fantastic tool for me. It wasn't all sunshine and flowers though, as it turns out writing posts about artists and exhibitions appears to be a small niche and the only people I see speak about it are verified institutions and already famous artists. Taking a jump further into the digital world meant that I would also have to make things for different audiences which is why I also make pieces that just go on that part of the Internet rather than on here. However, it has also made me ask myself how I can connect with others all over the giant endless parts of the internet and where we can take ourselves in the future, which leads me to VR.

To me, VR feels like it came about 10 years ago, but it turns out it started to hit the mainstream scene between 1990-2000. Different gaming companies began to produce VR headsets for use with their consoles and their games, some affordable and others not so much. It peaked again about 5 years ago when everyone on YouTube began to play remastered editions of their games they already owned, only while wearing a VR headset while they did it, to create a brand new feel to the game and fast forward a little bit more to artists creating open spaces in the land of VR. Open world games about biodiversity and the land of animals whom don't exist, these are the works of Yambe Tam.

The pieces in which she creates are experimental video games that feature both sculptures and ambient music to immerse people into these futuristic realities. Most of these realities are of things that human beings are most likely never going to be able to reach, the deepest darkest parts of the ocean to a post extinct Earth. Tam typically works with scientific researchers and sound designers to create these video game VR experiences into something that can be understood by humans.

As directly quoted from Tam's website, the description of 7100AD, a project which has been ongoing since 2019 states that it is a; 'posthistoric Earth meditative video game' which goes through the natural world through the body of a non-human species and this goes across three realms. 'A wild bee on a newly-formed desert island, a marine plankton, and an underground mycelial network. 7100AD illuminates unexpected links between humans and non-human species and how these are changing in the face of Anthropocene extinction.' The entire project encapsulates and tackles the modern day problems that society and large factories need to address more, and fast. Climate change, pollution, industrial agriculture. You work as a bee in the first segment of this game as you are pushed into a post human world and becoming acquainted with plants to create and support a new biodiverse ecosystem. You literally see the world from the perspective of this bee, as in what their sight is really like. It is a very interesting way for a human to immerse themselves into the perspective of a different living creature.

Part of this want to be able to create such a surreal piece of artwork is based around how Tam came from the last generation to grow up without the Internet. This meant that as a child she spent most of her time exploring the outdoor environment, being creative, having more of a sense of freedom in comparison to now where we all heavily rely on the Internet to fill the time in our day. In terms of discussion on how she creates work, it is described as having three different pathways from the bottom of the mountain. The way in which they all curve around with different obstacles, but ultimately lead to the same blended ending. Perhaps this is because some of the game feels like a reach, trying to create a game that is based around life without humans can be difficult to predict. Impossible to predict actually. We have no idea what the world will be like in a time post humans, aside from that the Earth will more than likely move on and live again. The way in which Mother Nature always comes back, she grows all over the damage to create luscious greenery and life elsewhere once more. We've all seen the images of Chernobyl and how the greenery is beginning to wrap itself around all of the buildings in the area.

So how does the overall VR game work and what comes with 7100AD aside from the game itself?

The game itself is placed within a sculptured room. The little rooms resembles a cocoon or a nest pod. You are given a sound-vibrational vest which gives haptic feedback to the game and a VR set which is designed as a bee from the future. You are then left to navigate the British Isles, feeding on flowers and watching them as they diversify and multiply throughout the area. It's a piece of work which mixes many forms of art media with sculpture, sound, senses and VR all at the same time. In other gallery spaces, the overall installation feels more like walking into a listening room. The type of room you go into where you sit on the sofa surrounded by expensive hi-fi equipment to find out what type of gear would be better suited for your home. The type of room that feels comfortable and that you can fully immerse yourself into, like this installation view featured in the image below.

I like the emptiness of this installation view, I feel as though this is the perfect gallery size in order to have the full experience from the exhibition as well as the VR game. It feels warm and welcoming, without being empty to the point that it feels cold.

I feel I have really become drawn to all types of different artworks that feature digital and technologic features and I feel that this is a perfect example of art in the future. I love artists who are able to tackle and adapt into the ever changing technologic world to create something that is fresh and interesting to the eye. I want to see more art like this when used in the correct context. 7100AD is a powerful example of using the future through the physical end project and mixing the concept of the future through the work and the game itself as well.