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kaissauce · 3 years

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okay, phucker, do it

ok let's do this @rolli-zolli @ninikins

Horrortale: technically an alternate timeline instead of au. after a neutral run where undyne's queen the core malfunctions and food becomes scarce and people resort to eating humans because sans suggested it. Aliza is the protag. latest thing that happened in the ongoing comic was Aliza agreeing to go with Papyrus to solve his last puzzle. as for the appearance of sans he has a HUGE hole on his head and a red eye. he got the hole from undyne when she got his magic eye which was going to be used to power the core. sans didnt die tho and killed the guards holding him down and just took whatever eye was on the ground and used it as a replacement for his magic eye that's powering the core. i quote first words he said after putting the eye in his socket "who the fuck took my phone?". then the magic eye went apeshit and broke the core again. oh and also he made alphys braindead by quite literally scrambling her brain. yeah this au is rough sans hasn't really eaten anything since the core was destroyed since he decided not to eat any humans.

Dusttale: i think this was originally a korean au? basic rundown: too many genocide runs sans goes apeshit and tries to get his Lv up by killing monsters himself man went fuckin insane kills his brother blah blah blah edgy angsty au the ghost of papyrus haunts him n stuff. sans literally just looks the same except he has his hood on and sometimes artists draw him with papyrus's scarf. the cool artists draw him with his hood on and has the hood completely cover his face so u can only see his glowing pupils. although people call him dust sans he's actually named murder sans

Killer: so frickin similar to dusttale except sans goes apeshit because of the human being like "join me lmao". three different outcomes come from this. i think it was 1 sans joins human 2 sans joins human kills human later on 3 kills human or something. friends with color sans who is basically his impulse control. pretty sure his soul's fucked up and Color sans tries to make his soul un-fucked but Nightmare comes in and fucks up the progress. he has white shorts, his eye sockets are constantly pitch black and leaking tar or something also has a weird target thingy on his chest. OH YEAH ALSO HE HAS BEEF WITH UNDERSWAP SANS ALMOST FORGOT. basically swap sans tried to make killer good and then they had a fight, swap sans lost and was on the verge of dying thankfully swap papyrus was able to save him in time i think

Dreamtale: Dream isn't in the drawing but his brother, Nightmare is. Sooo he used to not look all goooy and have tentacles n stuff but then he ate a couple hundred apples and yeah. he's six years old apparently. Nightmare and Dream are supposed to be guardians of a tree that has 500 golden apples and 500 black n goopy apples. the golden aples are positive and the goop ones are negative. you're not supposed to eat either of them cus bad shit happens. Dream and Nightmare live in a village and for whatever reason they're all dicks to Nightmare because ooughh he's the guardian of negativity that's not baller. he also goes apeshit (do u see a pattern here) and eats a goopy apple n then becomes the goop man he is today. he fuckin eats 999 apples jesus christ. and the last one is eaten by Dream because if u eat all 1000 apples u become unstoppable and immortal. so that would be a bad thing if nightmare got the last one. wop wop wop these dude aren't sanses they only have the body of one if that makes sanse.

Error: manlet. he's literally an error and that's why he's like that. also he's technically not a sans now, the redesign for him was so that he could be in the creator's webcomic named Lucidia. Error sans, aka the destroyer of aus, finds aus to be mistakes so he tries to get rid of them. his process of doing this is simple: get the human soul to the void so that they can't reset, destroy the au. he primarily attacks using his strings which can wrap around one's soul and control them. he like some aus like outertale because of how open and empty it is. he likes to be alone and has haphephobia. if u touch him he'll glitch out and possibly crash. he crashes whenever gets overwhelmed. said crashing causes him to shut down and reboot and he's powerless while doing so. he's actually pretty easy to beat if you know how to push his buttons the right way. in the og ask error blog made by his creator Loverofpiggies he kidnaps Swap sans who tries to help Error become a better person. this ends horribly as error leaves Swap sans in the void who then becomes an error aswell due to being alone in the void too long. Error actually regrets doing that to swap sans

Aftertale: OK FUN FACT THE SANS OF THIS AU, WHO'S NICKNAMED "Geno" IS ERROR. aftertale is a comic made by LoverofPiggies it's been SOOOO long since i last read it so i cant really give a good summary. but anyways Geno is trapped in the loading screen with the human and will die if he leaves the loading screen. eventually from being in the loading screen for too long after the events of aftertale he becomes Error.

OOF WOWIE THERE'S SO MUCH TO GO

Underfresh: he's not even a sans either. "Fresh" is a parasite inhabiting a skeleton. his birthday is on 4/20 which is ironic cus he doesn't like drugs. he censors swears. he speaks 90's lingo and dresses like a neon sign. for some reason he has eyebrows and a gold tooth. the glasses he has can change text but normally defaults to "YOLO". he can't feel anything since he has no soul of his own and just latches onto the host's. instead he learns how to act from the people around him. not being able to feel actually bothers him a LOT

Echotale: Aka Gaster sans. uhhh this one was also a comic if i remember correctly. basically Frisk and G!Sans are the only ones in the au and they're trying to find the core to fix the fucked up timeline that they're in but the core keeps changing positions so that sucks.

Swapfell: originally made by Khhoppang who left social media. Started out as an Alphys x Undyne au so only those two were designed but Kh was planning to design more of the characters. before they could people had a field day with the idea of mashing two aus together and SO many people came up with their own designs for sans and papyrus. Khhoppang left social media because they got overwhelmed with all the art reposters and stuff, pretty sad. the appearance of the sans in that au is the purple one with a scythe (i dont think he has a scythe in the og design).

Swapfell Red: so basically this is the swapfell made by people that isn't Khhoppang. community made per se. Sans's appearance changes constantly because as said before many people made many different designs. typically he just looks like Swap sans but with red high heel boots and his color scheme fits underfell

Fellswap (gold): Au made by blackggggum. so swapfell is underswap turned fell, fell swap is underfell swapped it takes a bit to understand that. his appearance is somewhat similar to Swapfell red. He's kind to his friends but if ur his enemy he'll fucking deck you. he's blind in his left eye, the leader of the royal guard, and secretly into dressmaking. fun fact in this au Papyrus has autism

Xtale: uuuuhhhh so Cross is a complicated one. he's part of the royal guard along with papyrus. has beef with xgaster. responsible for the downfall of his au and then Underverse happens and Ink is all "oh cool someone to mess with" and they became friends for a bit then shit hit the fan

Underfell: OOOOO YES UNIRONICALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITES. So Underfell sans is actually a very powerful mf and constantly has his magic eye activated because he has so much magic. This au is also technically an alternate timeline where monsters "lost their humanity" as the creator put it. so basically trust in the underground is scarce. Sans and papyrus, contrary to many interpretations i fucking hate, are actually on good terms (and no sans doesn't call papyrus "boss" the creator said if he does he'd do it ironically and papyrus would hate it). Fun facts he pays Grillby in socks (grillby accepts the socks as payment and wears them), if u make grillby laugh he gives u a jacket that looks like his and it's heavily implied that sans made him laugh because their jackets are similar

Underswap: ah yes another classic that i love as well. originally made by PopcornPr1nce who fled social media because they hated how the majority fandom treated Underswap (Blueberry and Carrot were popular names for the fanon swap papyrus and sans). Swap sans is constantly infantilized by the community which sucks and i hate it so i draw my own very super cool version of him whom i kin because i am also very super cool.

Outertale: mainly an aesthetic au pretty sure there's no comic of it. basically, instead of underground they in space. outer sans dies in underverse after like minutes of screentime lmao

Epictale: a comic made by Yugogeer. the og comic was retconned and the creator loathes the original version and made a reboot that's much better. Sans actually dies very early in it because Yugo hates how Sans is almost always focused on in aus. also the creator hates how meme-y their sans has become (like him saying bruh every single sentence, using a rubber chicken as a weapon, cookies, etc.) he's friends with Cross but not in canon. He has a purple magic eye that makes him immortal and i think only epic gaster could remove it which is how sans was able to be killed when he fought gaster.

Temmietale: it's undertale but everyone is temmie, don't question it

Trainertale: it's undertale but it's Pokemon, don't question it

Dancetale: it's undertale but you dance instead of fight, don't

Mobtale/Mafiatale: im unsure if mobtale and mafiatale are separate or not but they are very similar. basically undertale but mafia it's self explanatory

Undertale: no clue which au is this one, nope not at all/j

Bittytale or whatever idk: so take sans, make him small. boom. never understood this au

THAT BASTARD INK: HOOO BOY SAVED THE WORST FOR LAST. FUCK THIS GUY/j. THIS DUDE. IS THE REASON IM STILL INTO UNDERTALE AUS. I LOVE EM SO MUCH. also technically not a sans. He comes from an unfinished au and ripped his own soul to escape said au and became an outcode. for so long he was just a soulless husk until someone drew him and he got splashed with paint which let him feel. soon he learned to keep the paint in vials so that he can be able to feel 24/7. And then he learned how to create things with a paintbrush and the paint and spent time alone drawing up his own world until a portal appeared and took him to the multiverse. now he encourages artists to keep creating aus. he's the protector of aus in the sense that he keeps other outcodes from disrupting the script of the au, so if it's pacifist and an outcode tries to kill people he'd stop them, if it's genocide and an outcode tried to help them he'd stop them. no matter what he wants the au to stay on script. fun fact the creator of ink and the creator of error never had them interact with each other in canon, that was all the fandom's doing. Contrary to popular belief he's not really considered "good" his alignment is officially "Chaotic neutral". I personally interpret him a lot more chaotic than in canon because it's fun but he's a pretty chill guy actually. he can just be a bit of an ass sometimes. According to the creator of Ink (who is Comyet) his interpretation in Underverse is not canon compliant. one of the biggest canon things that underverse contradicts is Ink deliberately not taking his vials. if he were to do that in canon he'd become a husk again which is the equivalent of him "dying". he was described as a walking corpse by Comyet, without the vials he can't function anymore. Like Error he's pretty easy to beat if you know his weaknesses. also he has fears of empty spaces and being alone

off topic kinda but i very much love how Error and Ink are opposites yet parallel even though they were completely written without the other in mind. Error believes getting rid of aus is getting rid of anomalies. Ink believes people interfering with aus are anomalies. Error loves emptiness, Ink hates emptiness. list goes on it's funky fresh.

also uhhh sanses missing from that drawing that i can name from the top of my head

Seraphim sans, Insans, Dusttrust, He who shall not be named because he's from an 18+ au, Swapswap (yes. that exists), Storyshift, Inverted Fate (very good au i suggest checking it out), Negatale, Oceantale, Template, Pale, Mafiafell, Farmtale

my phone is at 9% y'all are spared from me going on

#long post #ask #ninikins #rolli zolli

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raziroo · 4 years

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3. Demon Child (Pt. II) - Remus Lupin

Pairing : Remus Lupin x Reader

Genre : Angst all the way. Hint of fluff.

Warnings : Abusive home conditions, mentions of death, graphic descriptions of death, descriptions of torture, mentions of sexual activity.

Word count : 7,200

~~~~~

"What?" I asked Potter and company.

"N-nothing, just, you know..."

"You think me kissing your best friend is strange."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Well... Because you seem to hate humans in general, and it physically pains you to smile?" Potter asked, sarcastically. "Oh, and also because you're incapable of feeling emotions," Black chided.

"Is 'ugh' an emotion? Because I feel that all the time," I retorted, then turned to Lupin. "I don't feel 'ugh' now, I feel actually happy, but that's an occurrence that's rarer than a Parseltongue, so..." I shrugged.

"It's OK," he replied.

After a painfully awkward moment, I exclaimed, "Well! I... Guess I should get going, uh, I need to... get fired," I said, removing my hands from Lupin's shoulders.

"Fired? Why would you get fired?" he questioned, furrowing his brows, looking adorable.

"Oh, Moony! Why are you surprised? Miss I-only-wear-black-and-it-physically-pains-me-to-smile scared her boss, so now she's about to get fired," Black commented. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well, Mr. It-is-my-mission-to-get-in-bed-with-every-breathing-organism-in-existence, I am about to get fired because I was on "holiday" for two whole weeks, and because I bunked my five minute break to come visit your best friend who you're practically married to, and because my boss is a-!" and that was the moment, witches and wizards, when the Golden students of Gryffindor had the fortune of hearing my artistically colorful vocabulary. "Oh, and also," I added, "I don't wear just black. I wear inky black, metallic black, leather black, jet black, jade black, obsidian black, onyx black, charcoal black, midnight black, coal, and raven. And also, grey, burgundy, violet, blue, and green." I flashed a smile at Black's bewildered face, and with a kiss to Lupin's cheek, apparated out.

•••••

Ever since the kiss, that had occurred two weeks ago, Lupin frequently visited me. He often brought me food, and coffee, and we would sit and talk about anything and everything for literal hours. Things had become comfortable between us, we had even discussed about the kiss, and what it meant. I had made it clear that, now that he finally knew what I felt towards him, he was in no way forced to return the feeling, and that it was alright with me if he ever felt uncomfortable or forced to reciprocate my feelings.

Of course, he had always replied with a remark that assured me that he wasn't feeling forced, and it was all fine. I, of course, wanted to believe him; it wasn't my fault that I couldn't. Because even though I knew Remus Lupin was a good person, one who'd never lie to me, I was also aware of the fact that I wasn't typical crush material, and people would have no problem leaving me, even if they were scared of me, quite like my father.

And so, strictly out of the fear of being left alone, a quite rational fear of being left alone, I asked him the question that had been bugging me for days now. Or at least tried to.

"Gryffindor," I said, to the person sitting opposite me, who was sipping coffee in the secluded corner of the coffee shop.

"Hm?"

"I... wanted to ask you... something," my hesitance abundant in my voice. Perhaps my unusual reluctance was the reason that led Lupin to look up at me.

"What is it?"

"I... Have been thinking..."

"Hm, go on," he urged.

"I just... " I couldn't do it, it was way too difficult. So I twisted my words around, in order to make the Gryffindor aware of what I meant to say, without actually saying it. "Look... As a kid, I didn't have the greatest childhood. I- I had one of the worst... possible scenarios you could possibly call a childhood. I was a... Mistake, as my parents kept reminding me every other day; they had me when they were teenagers, you see," I raised my eyebrows a bit, but not meeting the man's intense gaze.

"So, my father didn't... he wasn't very- keen on the idea of supporting a family, and neither was my mother. She did, however, take care of me as a child, if you could call feeding a person regularly taking care. My father, he dropped around to our apartment... from time to time, and that was also just a formality. I mean, until I was seven, he did say "Hello" to me, called me a name I hated, but it was a pet name nonetheless; after that... he just stopped caring. Kept having affairs, would get involved with problematic people, ignored me and my mother. Mum, obviously, had slipped into depression. I, as an eleven year old, had to witness my own mother transition into a drunkard, and my father didn't care," I sighed.

"After I received my Hogwarts letter, however, I had to leave, and so... my father left as well. Because, well, why should you care for your dying wife? Your mistake of a kid will now be fed; she wont have to arrange food herself, and that's all a father's role is, isn't it?" I looked up to a face filled with sympathy and pain.

"After my second year, though, I knew that my mother's condition was worsening; she'd gotten into drugs, she seriously needed a rehab. I visited my dad a few times, asked him to get my mother treatment. He just called me by that nasty pet name, gave me a cookie, and sent me on my way. My mum's condition kept worsening and worsening and worsening, she even resorted to hitting me and stuff; I had to lock her in her room. I... just think about it. I had to lock my own mother in a room, and listen to her sobbing- a- and banging on the door, begging me to open the door. But I couldn't, because well, self-survival was a thing."

One day, I returned home from my muggle job, and I called out to my mother; check if she needed food, or- or if I could read her a story. I pulled out a card from... my bag, because it was her birthday. And I go inside, hoping to see my mother in a better... mood than usual; she hadn't been locked up in her room, so." I chuckled, as I tried to blink my tears away.

"And then, I go into her room, and you know what I see? My... my mother's bod-" I sucked in a breath. "She was laying... on the ground, and her eyes, they had no life in them, she- my mother had died. I got her admitted in the nearest muggle hospital, and, a few days later, in her postmortem report, it said that she died because of a... drug overdose. I, was obviously so confused, because I made it sure that I always threw all the- the drugs and alcohol out, I destroyed it. That... Was the reason she was able to live on her own in the first place, obviously. And all the abuse, mental, and... And physical... That wasn't because she was drunk. It was because I wasn't giving her the alcohol. She had so many attacks, and even a couple seizures, but a visit to the hospital, and she would always be able to survive. So when, after my fifth year, I see my mother dead, it was devastating. I wasn't able to find out who really gave her the drugs; I had to suffer jail time. Got out because my father bailed me out after the first three days."

And then, in her funeral, he didn't even make an appearance. I was alone, at her funeral. And then, one month later, a few days before school started, he makes an appearance, with his newest girlfriend," I sniffed.

"An he's like, 'Hey, kid,' and at that moment, I hated my father. I truly hated my father at that moment, because I knew that he had really stopped caring. He didn't even call me that nickname, didn't even call me... 'Demon Child', didn't taunt me for being magical like my mother. He didn't try to even show his loathing for me, and that's when I knew he really stopped caring. Because if you hate someone, you dislike someone, you care about them. But..." I swallowed the lump in my throat, not wanting to let the first sob out.

"Everyone, Gryffindor, every single one of the people who I cared about, they left. My mother, my father, Cynthia. And, I know it's not even been that long, but I like you, Gryffindor, a lot. More than I feel comfortable with, this is uncharted territory for me. And I just, I don't want you to go, or leave, because I don't know how much longer I can go around with this bitchy persona, because it hurts. It hurts to kn- know that I don't deserve getting cared about. And I-" I couldn't even say what I had to, I burst in tears. Lupin didn't waste even a fraction of a second to envelope me in a hug, allowing me to cry my sorrows away.

I had truly never felt more cared about, and safe, than I did in that moment.

•••••

Honestly, my life could have been a teen drama. Four months, four very hectic and possessed months later, after I officially became Remus Lupin's girlfriend, the Dark Lord and his goons found out about it.

And purely because of my knowledge and intellect on dark magic, the Death Eaters had sworn to forever follow me, and give me zero privacy. They often turned into ordinary civilians, I could just tell that they weren't ordinary people going about their ordinary routines; these people were Death Eaters.

So one day, while I was in the old Coffee shop, alone, after a long period of time, my irritatingly impulsive self confronted one such Death Eater in disguise, who just so happened to be one who could not-so-easily overpower me. Yep, you guessed it, none other than Bellatrix LeStrange.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked Bellatrix, who was in disguise of a frail woman with curly ginger hair and big blue eyes.

"Me?" she asked, sounding surprised, and very fake.

"Yes," I replied. "Bellatrix, yes, you," she looked surprised. I don't know what for, though, because her acting was pathetic, and the way her eyes had been trained on me throughout my visit to the cafe was hostile and creepy enough for any normal person to suspect danger.

"I don't know why you and your Death Eaters are stalking me, but I don't like it. So if you could please leave me alone, and let me live my life, it would be heavily appreciated."

The woman, however, only sneered at me, and before I could even snatch my wand out, I had been apparated away.

•••••

Being back at Malfoy Manor was certainly not a pleasant experience; the dungeons of the manor stunk badly, and the fact that there were now more prisoners in it wasn't exactly homely. On top of that, Voldemort seemed adamant on making me one of his Death Eaters.

And he had been successful.

Staying in the same rotten cellar, with its putrid stench and disgusting puddles for an entire twelve days, as far as I'd managed to count, was a tedious task on its own. But when I received torture sessions from Bellatrix LeStrange everyday, where my body would end up feeling sore until the next day, when I had to get tortured again, the twelve days felt to be as long as a century.

Whenever I asked the Death Eaters why they were doing this they would just chortle and leave. So one particular day- or it could have been night, as far as I was concerned - I said something that I would have never, ever said in such a situation, because in all honesty, I wasn't keen on dying. How, or why those words spewed from my mouth, I was unaware, but the damage had already been done, and the Dark Lord had taken offense personally. And so the situation had spiralled out of my control.

"Why doesn't your Dark Lord come here to greet me personally, huh? Why does he send his minions to deal with an innocent prisoner?"

Bella scowled. "It's because the Lord doesn't wish to spend time on half-breed filth such as you; he expects us to take care of people of your likes, and I would be damned if I don't."

"Ha," I laughed, a spiteful, emotionless laugh. "He doesn't want to spend time on half-breed filth like me? Well, tell him I'm not going to subject to his torture. He can hurt me all he wants; I will never become a Death Eater," I sneered at Bellatrix.

She spat at my face. I moved it out of the way. "Well, thank you then. The Dark Lord will be pleased to know that you have already surrendered," and she strutted off, before I could even think to question the meaning of her sadistic grin and the cackle she let out on her way.

••••

Why do I have to be so damn dumb?

I should have let them torture me, hurt me. But no, little miss bad bitch had to go ahead and question the Dark Lord's intentions. And now, I had messed up. Bad. Real bad.

Why? Oh, because this was the question the Dark Lord had posed when he'd come to check my cellar late that same night.

"If you do not wish to be a Death Eater, a devoted follower, then that is fine. But know, that I do have other methods... Forceful methods to get you to submit to me," the Dark Lord had said, in his ominous, whisper voice. "If you are confused as to why the Darkest Wizard of all time is so determined to have you under his wing, then, you may not be as clever and cunning as I expect of you," he'd snarled, his vicious eyes on me.

"I know why, I'm not...," I had sighed, because I had been dumb. "You want me to become a Death Eater because of your brother's soul that resides within me. Maybe... Because I'm into darker forms of magic as well," I had said, straining my voice.

"Hmm, you do, indeed, possess sense. I thought you didn't, for you had very easily given into Bellatrix, a trap... Of sorts... But then again, I expected you to. You may be cunning, but you do not know the full extent of my command and power on people... You couldn't possibly have expected to be aware of your ...relations, with the half breed."

That was when my head had jerked up, looking at the Lord with wide eyes; he didn't even glimpse in my direction.

"I do know, I know... Lord Voldemort knows all... If you do not submit to my will, then, unfortunately, I will have to... attend to the werewolf personally. I will make him feel homely, but yet I assume you wouldn't want me to keep your little lover as a guest..." he'd trailed off, finally stopping his pacing and looking at me, staring down, at my fearful eyes, panic-stricken face, and shaking body.

"You, you- you can't-"

"I can, foolish child, you know that as well... It would be best, then, if you bid your alliegance to me, to the cause... To the Greater Good... Or we can always pay the werewolf a visit..."

"I-" I had looked up at the Dark Lord's merciless slits-for-eyes, and then instantaneously looked down, closing my eyes, but shedding no tears.

"Fine..." I had barely managed to whisper, shaking my head. I had known this was selfish; I should have been fine with sacrificing the Gryffindor for a better world; I would have certainly sacrificed either, or both, of my parents if I had to. But even though I'd met the Gryffindor only about half a year ago, I suddenly realized that I cared about him more than I could've ever imagined. I didn't just love the Gryffindor anymore, no, I was in love with him. And that realization alone was so startling that I had missed hearing the Dark Lord give me instructions on how to dress and when to appear in the Malfoy living room for the ceremony.

For my Death Eater initiation.

•••••

I was currently situated in the centre of the Malfoy Manor's living room, dressed in my usual color, black. Though this time, I was dressed in clothing belonging to Bellatrix LeStrange. My left arm was stretched out, forearm bare, as the Dark Lord approached me, his wand in hand, ready to carve in the ugly stain that would forever bind my alliance with him.

"Hmm... My dear followers," the Dark Lord said, addressing all the Death Eaters that were surrounding us; most of them looking nervous and having a sense of nostalgia to them - not-so-pleasant nostalgia. A few others, and I mean really few others, such as Bella, were grinning. Charming.

"Today is the day... The day when I initiate a Death Eater who's only reason to become a Death Eater, is love, " The Dark Lord taunted and laughed, and his followers chuckled too. "Love for a werewolf, at that... But fear not! She will not betray us... Won't even think about it. Why, might you ask... Because she has the soul of Richard Riddle in her... The soul, of my deceased brother." Although the Dark Lord paused, his followers didn't laugh. "And she's aware that I just have to greet him to cause immeasurable pain to her... She's smart... But above that, she knows that her werewolf will be in danger if she betrays me... But then again, she may go behind my back without me noticing. Like I mentioned earlier, she has great levels of intellect... So, after the Death Eater initiation, I will bind her in an Unbreakable Vow."

What?!

"Don't look surprised... It was expected... Even if the scarcest bit," he said, words aimed towards me. "But first, you will be initiated. And to be initiated, you have to kill someone..." I wasn't aware of that.

"Bring her in!" the Dark Lord said in a higher voice, and soon the lump body of a girl was levitated inside the room. The girl, brunette and with blue eyes, looked painfully familiar, but due to all the panic and dread swirling around my gut, I just couldn't place it. It was the kind of feeling you got when there was a word, right on the tip of your tongue, but you still couldn't place it.

As the spells were removed from the female's body, she fell to the ground, her hands supporting her fall, hair messily framing her face. She could be clearly heard sobbing. I watched, scared, as I pondered on how I was going to kill the poor girl. Said girl looked up and around, and when her eyes fell on Voldemort, she started sobbing even louder, pleading to anyone and everyone.

Her cries and pleas were blatantly ignored, however, as the Dark Lord turned to me. He didn't need to say anything, I knew what I was supposed to do. And so, knowing that there was no way out, I raised my wand at the girl, who screamed when she saw me go through the motions. She shook her head, crawling over and grabbing me legs, howling, wailing, begging for me to spare her.

I knew that maybe, maybe I wouldn't have to murder anyone in the end, if the spell fell short. It obviously was a tricky spell, the Avada Kedavra, so I might be spared of murdering someone.

So I raised my wand, fully confident that it wouldn't work, and meeting the girl's eyes, muttered the spell. Except my fantasies didn't come true. Perhaps, it was because of the other, very powerful soul that inhabited my body, alongside my own soul, but it worked.

The spell worked.

The Avada Kedavra worked. I had just committed a murder.

And just as the gravity and guilt of that situation fell upon my shoulder, I realized something else as well.

Those striking blue eyes, they could belong to only one person. And that was Crystal Hollander. The face shape, the body, the eyes, everything was same except the hair. I had not just murdered someone, I had murdered Crystal Hollander's sister.

But I wasn't given time to hate myself, though. The Dark Lord let out a low chuckle, swished his wand, and the dead body disappeared. I looked up. "Killing someone for the first time can be traumatic; more so when you do it against your will. But we'll, it does not do well do dwell on the past. Bring out your arm." I did.

The Dark Lord wandlessly cast a spell, and the skin on my left forearm begun to burn, and not just tingling burn. My skin was getting scarred, and then it was being cut through, albeit in the shape of the Dark Mark. I bled, and finally, an inky black hue covered my scarred and bleeding skin, and when it cleared, only smooth skin and the Dark Mark was left behind. The pain hadn't stopped, though.

The Death Eaters all remained silent. The Dark Lord then held out his left arm, and looked up at me, right in the eyes. It felt like he was piercing through my soul, and considering who we were talking about, he probably could. At first, I just stared right back at him, confused as to what his want was. But then it clicked, and so I joined hands with him. He then ordered Rudolphus LeStrange to come forward and carry out the vow.

After the Dark Lord turned to Rudolphus and conveyed the vows to Rudolphus through his, what I could only assume, mind, using legilimency, Rudolphus nodded out of his daze and started speaking, whilst casting the spell.

"Do you forever vow your services, as well as allegiance, to the Dark Lord?" he asked.

Nervously, and after taking a breath, I replied, "Yes." A thin golden tendril of magic came out of his wand and wrapped around our joined hands.

"Do you vow to never break the Dark Lord's trust?"

"Yes." Another tendril came and wrapped it around us.

"And finally, do you vow to swear on your life, that you will always bear the Dark Mark, and to serve your Lord, die for him?"

I swallowed. "Y-yes."

The golden tendril burst into sparkles, and then someone spoke. It was the Dark Lord this time.

"Well, welcome... To the ranks of a Death Eater."

.....

3 more months had passed since that initiation, and I was miserable. I had constantly been asked to carry out Death Eater-esque tasks; taking part in attacks, killing and torturing people, the likes. I was also being trained. And I wasn't aware why I'd been surprised in the first place, because it was painfully obvious that such tasks were part of being a Death Eater.

My relationship with the Gryffindor, if you could still even call it that, was going as strong as ever. We still hung out all the time, read books together, and visited the quaint little Cafe.

It had been one month since I'd confronted Lupin about his furry little secret, and he had looked as scared as I could've possibly thought. I'd quickly calmed him down, though, but still he wouldn't listen. He'd apparated away. I'd followed. We had both ended up in different places; knowing Lupin's address, I'd apparated there later, and found said man messing his room up.

Sparing the details, one thing led to another, and we both had ended up taking each other's clothes off, and me telling the man that I loved him; my feelings were reciprocated. Thank Salazar I'd been using a cosmetic spell to cover up my Mark, or things would've gotten messy. Little did I know, they were soon about to.

Sooner than I was comfortable with.

.....

I was sat in the Gryffindor's bed, inside his apartment. Said Gryffindor was currently preparing tea in the kitchen, while I was engrossed in a book about lethal magical creatures.

I had arrived about an hour ago; Lupin had invited me yesterday, but I couldn't come due to a Death Eater attack that I'd been involved in. My injuries and bruises had all been covered up by cosmetic spells and my usual form of clothing: long sleeves. However, I hadn't covered my Mark, because there there was a gash going through it, and there was a bandage wrapped around it; I simply had been too lazy too use a cosmetic spell, even though parts of my Mark were still visible.

I was just about to reach the end of the Vampire chapter, when I heard a distant crack, and the opening of a door. My eyebrows furrowed as I closed my book without even marking the page; who would separate here, at this time? It was probably the Gryffindor's friends, Black and Potter and Pettigrew, but Lupin had said that he'd informed them he was busy today.

Ignoring all the questions in my mind, I swung my legs around the bed, and walked to the living room.

"Lupin, who is it?" Only I needn't ask, because the golden-blonde hair and the Boston dress was enough proof. Crystal Hollander.

I immediately grew nervous; even though she didn't know I killed her sister, I still had an uneasy knot in my stomach.

"Hollander? What ar-"

The girl whipped her head around, looking livid. Lupin peered at me from behind her.

"You!" she exclaimed, pointing one of her sharp nails at me, nostrils flaring. "You filthy Death Eater!"

I tried not to show my surprise, but still my eyes widened a bit, and my brows raised. It was often that people mistook me for a Death Eater, courtesy of my interests in Dark Magic and fashion sense, but I had never ever felt as queasy as I did at that moment.

"What?"

Lupin and I asked at the same time.

"Don't 'what?' me!" Hollander exclaimed. "You know exactly what I'm talking about! You were there, present at the Death Eater attack yesterday!"

"I... Know that," I said. "I was present at the Death Eater attack yesterday. That's why there's all this," I pointed at my split lip and the light bruise on my cheekbone, "on my face."

Hollander let out a frustrated groan/scream at the same time. "Could you stop being so irritating and ju-" the girl's eyes fell on my left forearm. Oh no. "Show me your arm."

"What? Why?"

"Because that's where the Mark is, isn't it? Huh? That's why you're so-"

I let out a typical forced breath of mine, and rolling my eyes, said, "Look, Hollander. I understand that being the reason for my friend's very gruesome death, you're traumatised, and probably have PTSD-"

"What's PTSD?"

"-but that doesn't give you a right to harass me. I know that you want to reduce your guilt, even though I'm pretty sure you don't even have a guilt complex. But I won't have it. Get out," and with that and a sharp glare, I turned on my heel, all ready to walk away, when a voice stopped me.

"Stop..." I turned around at the Gryffindor's voice, looking at him incredulously. "Just show the arm to her... and me," he said, looking stern.

I opened my mouth, trying to say something, but nothing would come out. I probably looked like a fish.

Clenching my jaw, hard, I put a hand on the sleeve of my left arm, ready to lift it. I already was ready to take out my wand.

Closing my eyes, I pulled up my sleeve, and as soon as i was done, I whipped out my wand. It was the right time, too, as Hollander pointed her wand at me at the same time. However, before she could do anything, I Petrificus Totalus-ed her.

My head then swiveled towards Lupin, who was now staring at me with a blank expression. But even though his expression was blank, I knew he was broken inside. His eyes said it all.

"Remus, I can explain, plea-"

"Stupefy! " I took a step to the side, but instead, Lupin got hit.

"Remus!"

"Gryffindor!" hearing the other call of his name, I turned around, meeting the furious eyes of Black, Evans and Potter. Apparently, through all this drama, those three had also made it here. How, I didn't know, because I was sure Lupin had asked them not to. But that didn't matter. They were livid.

Before I could even breathe, they were shooting spells at me, and I was shooting spells at them.

I did the only thing I could possibly do. Which was also incredibly stupid. I pressed on my Mark, and called the other Death Eaters. I was so dumb.

After a long and complicated duel, I finally mustered the courage to cast a spell that I was never able to carry out before. "Prorsus Defixit!" it was just a stronger version of the petrifying spell.

Thankfully, maybe due to the adrenalin in my body, the spell worked, and all three Gryffindors fell to the floor, rigid.

I then turned to look at Lupin and Hollander, who were both also passed out. Well, that was great, but what was I to do about the Death Eater situation? I had acted foolishly, and in a panic, invited Death Eaters here; I guess my reflexes acted out - I had just grown used to calling other Death Eaters when I was in a tight situa-

Crack!

I was too late.

They were already here.

.....

I hoped the Gryffindors were doing well in the Malfoys' dungeons.

It was yesterday when the Death Eaters came and abducted them, and since then they'd been chained up in the cellars.

I hadn't been allowed to visit them, though. Not yet. The Dark Lord though it'd be better for me to be part of a few 'missions'. Why he thought so, I was unaware.

But one thing was clear. I had landed myself in deep shit.

I had been the reason for four people to be held prisoner, out of which three were Order members, one was out for revenge on me, and one was the man I loved.

Wonderful.

.....

Two days later, I was asked to visit my... those Gryffindors.

I was nerve wracked, and rightfully so, too. It wasn't everyday you got to visit your captive boyfriend.

As I made my way through the ominous hallways and staircases of the Malfoy Manor, I thought. The Dark Lord had said that he wanted me to be part of his ranks due to my cunning and cleverness, and knowledge; he'd said a contributing factor was the fact that I was possessed by the soul of his deceased brother. But that was the thing though, he hadn't really even conversed with his brother after I was turned a Death Eater, only a couple times at most. Even then, the pain hadn't lasted that long. And about the intelligence part, he hadn't really tested my wit, or cunning.

It was all so strange. It felt so... normal, now. It always had, even though it never should've. I was literally demonically possessed, but that issue felt so insignificant amidst all my other issues. For example, the fact that the person I'd become a Death Eater for was now hostage, that too because of me. And then, what Dumbledore said. Richard Riddle's soul would never really leave my body; not until the Dark Lord had really died. As in, even his soul was no more. But Dumbledore had said that that wouldn't be possible; not until all parts of his soul were destroyed. Not until the horcruxes were destroyed. And that was near to impossible.

I had asked Dumbledore why the soul just took home in me, why it didn't really possess me, as in control me. He'd said it was because Richard's soul was too weak. He just had one horcrux.

I didn't even realize when I reached the dungeon. I had almost barged into Magnus Fawley; thankfully, I caught myself.

He smirked at me.

I glared at him.

We went our separate ways - me into the cellar, him out of the dungeons.

As I walked in, I noticed that the people chained were all huddled close together. It wasn't really a very important detail, just a mere observation.

My footsteps indicated the prisoners of my arrival, and they looked up. Black, Potter and Hollander glared. Evans seemed as though she was trying to glare, but she couldn't because she was weak. And lupin - oh, his reaction broke my heart - he didn't even have a reaction; he was blank, not meeting my eyes.

I met all of their eyes, and masking my hurt, sat opposite them.

Hollander was already at it.

"You! You Death Eater scum! You're the reason we're all here! What did you lot do to my sist-?"

I groaned. "Hollander," I looked her dead in the eye. "Shut. Up. "

"You can't ask me to shut up! What did you do with my sister, huh? I always knew you were shady, reading those nasty books! You killed her, did you? I'm sure you did! Had fun doing it too, I reckon," she spat at me, her eyes seeing red, nose breathing fire. "And then- then you betray Remus! You loved him, didn't you? Bet it was all a plot, a, a grand scheme! " Her nostrils flared.

Before the Blondie could start again, I Silencio-ed her. She looked comedic.

"Why'd you do that, huh? Death Eater? "

That hurt.

I then mustered up all the self control and braveness I had, and spoke up. "Black, what do you take me for-?"

"-A death Eater, perhaps?"

"-,I'm not just going to sit here and let her blame me for something I very clearly did," I rolled my eyes. Lupin looked up, but looked down again almost instantaneously.

"So... You did kill Hollander's sister?"

"No, I didnt-"

"Oh, don't be modest. You did," Rabastan drawled, smirking, as he strolled in. I snapped my head at him, glaring venomously. Hollander's jaw dropped.

"She looked disgusted with herself; should be, too. Considering the Dark Lord had her in his ranks just because his dea-"

"If you don't shut up now, LeStarnge, I will castrate you."

"Oh, does little miss halfblood even know the spell for that?"

"You wanna see? Don't try me." I raised my brow at him, as his smirk faltered. He then drawled out monotonously, "The Dark Lord needs you to take care of our guests."

"I already am."

"You need to torture them," my jaw clenched. "Bellatrix will help you," and with a devious smirk, he sauntered out.

Although i didn't wish to, I really didn't, I knew the Dark Lord would do it himself and make me watch if I didn't do it. So standing up, I walked to the prisoners, standing in front of them.

"You really are-"

"Filthy? Scum? A git? A prat? A backstabbing cockroach? Thanks so much," I said uninterestedly to Black. "now, who would like to go first?"

"Look, you can't torture Lily."

"And why is it so, Potter?" I looked down at him.

"She... She's pregnant."

My eyes widened and brows raised. "You both thought it would be a good idea to bring a new life to this world during such times? You had sex with your wife in the midst of a war, and got her pregnant? How did you even have time for that?" I looked at him incredulously. He was turning scarlet, while his wife was too tired to even notice.

"You should always use protection." and with that, I pointed my wand at Evans, casting a spell. It wasn't Crucio, though, even I wasn't that heartless. It was imperio, and I forced the woman to writhe and thrash and scream, looking expressionless, all while the others, even Lupin, shouted and cursed at me. Soon, I was done with her and moved onto Black.

Him, though, I used cruciatus. I couldn't afford being caught.

I was done with him after a good ten minutes, and then as I moved to Lupin, Bellatrix entered, cackling.

She immediately went for Evans; she was the mudblood.

"I'm done with the mud blood, you attend to Hollander and Potter."

She went to Hollander first, and tortured her. Tortured her so badly, it was difficult to even look at. Even worse, she'd been cackling through it all. As I moved to Potter, I asked her to stop. She didn't. I asked again.

"Stop it, Bellatrix, that's enough." no response.

"Stop it, Bella." Nope.

"Bellatrix, please, you're going to hurt her more than necessary," My pleas rang out between all the Gryffindors'.

"Enough, Bellatrix!" I exclaimed. I just knew that Richard had taken over; that was clear by the looks everyone was giving me. "Thats... Enough. Just, go out, please."

And she did. Without a question.

.....

It had been after 4 days of the Gryffindprs as our prisoners, when there was a break in at the Manor, obviously by the Order.

I rushed to the dungeons; however on the final stair, collided with the Gryffindors. Immediately casting a shield spell around myself, I took a step back.

I then removed the spell.

"You can go," they looked suspicious, so I dropped my wand. "I... Go. Just be careful, Potter. Prophecies... " I decided not to tell them too much, as even I wasn't fully sure of what was happening.

"Be careful." and with that, I stepped back, making way for them.

As the group walked past me, wands aimed, still suspicious, I called after them. Also, could you, maybe... Make me pass out?"

.....

It had been fifteen years. Fifteen years since I let those Gryffindors elope, most of whom had dreadful fates. Fifteen years since I'd seen Lupin.

You see, maybe it was just destiny being cruel, but up until Voldemort's (yes, I call him that now, I'm brave) downfall, me and Lupin had never crossed paths. After the Potters' deaths, I'd left the country, becoming a wanderer. I changed my name and past each time; sometimes I was a hippie, sometimes a businesswoman, sometimes a struggling artist.

But now, as I set foot inside Grimmauld Place, my nerves wracked again. I would see Lupin, and maybe he wouldn't even remember me.

But I, however, was still nervous. I was about to meet the boy who lived. I was about to meet Black. I was about to meet all those Order members I said I didn't trust. And I was going to be helping them.

The papers in my hands were quite important.

I knocked on the door. A chubby woman opened the door; that was probably Molly Weasley.

Her face fell. "You're here... The meeting got over-"

"I'm aware. I was... A bit busy," I held up the papers. "Could you please...?" I motioned inside, and Molly moved aside. I walked in, following the path I knew led to the dining room.

"Dear, they're having-"

"Dinner? That won't be a problem." I smiled at Molly as I turned the knob of the dining room's door, and all eyes turned to me. Among them was a pair of light greenish-blue eyes that I'd craved to see, bit I couldn't meet.

I raised an eyebrow. "Well, isn't this a pretty sight." I smiled a sickeningly sweet smile and entered, everyone still gazing at me. Black was clutching his fork so hard his knuckles were going white, while. molly still looked troubled.

"Greetings," I scanned the crowd, "Gryffindors." my eyebrows jumped. I dropped the papers right in front of Black.

"Here is your information. You're welcome. I now must leave, because I have work to att-"

"Who are you?"

"-end. You should never interrupt," I said, looking pointedly at Potter Jr. "Even if you are the boy who lived."

"I-" Potter was cut off by Black.

"He asked something, why don't you answer him?" Ugh. And they say Slytherins are evil.

I thought a bit. Then, "I'm the reason you even got the chance to be born." The Potter boy looked confused, but before he could ask, someone spoke up. Go to hell, Black.

"How so?"

"Could you not interrupt in between? That's what I just told the boy, but then again, you are excruciatingly dumb."

"I'm not dumb. I just pointed something out. And you're one to say; Miss-I'm-So-Edgy."

"Oh well, Mister-I'm-an-adult-but-still-a-child, you could maybe not have interrupted in between of a conversation?"

"You're so difficult."

"You're dense, and a literal man-child."

"You're evil, and nutty."

"You're annoying, and a pathetic drama queen. I'm a hundred percent sure that when you met your Godson, who thought you were a murderer, and confronted that rat, you said something along the lines of," I cleared my throat, " 'Only one shall die tonight.' and then went off behaving immature."

Judging by the look on his face, I was right.

I smirked, and then, to Potter, said, "Potter Jr., there was once a time when your parents, along with a few dear friends were locked up in the dungeons of the Malfoy Manor, and I was tasked with taking care-torturing them, if you will," I raised an eyebrow, "And your father had been dumb enough to have se-"

"Stop-"

"-Could you please not interrupt me, Black?" I said, frustrated.

"Well, you were about to-"

"-Tell the boy that his parents had sex? Well, Black, he has to be really thick to not know about that-"

"-He's just 15-!"

"-just 15?" I scoffed. "You had bedded half the Hogwarts population by the age of fifteen, Black, and then some." That made him shut up. I smirked again. He narrowed his eyes.

"so, mini Potter, your mum was dumb enough to have sex and get pregnant amidst a war, and she was pregnant in the Malfoy dungeons. And do you know what? If I'd tortured your mum, you would have lost your life in her womb. There would be no 'The Boy Who Lived', and Voldemort would've reigned. But I didn't. Because there were prophecies involved, and spirits, too."

I knew that was way too vague and cryptic, but that was all I said.

And as I turned and left the room to apparate away I could faintly hear the conversations inside.

"Who was she?"

Lupin sighed. "My ex-girlfriend."

I smiled, and then was engulfed in smoke as I apparated away.

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letsallcheck · 5 years

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10 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Never Get A Tattoo

Tattoos are a lot of things besides trendy. They can show the planet the items you care about the foremost because you’ve immortalized them on your skin. They can memorialize loved ones or bear inspirational messages with you usually. But that doesn’t mean that you simply shouldn’t take them seriously, or consider all the pros and cons before deciding whether or to not get one.

Whatever your considerations for getting inked, confine mind these 10 reasons why a tattoo won't be right for you.

You’re looking for a job

Not all employers look down on tattoos, but there are some industries, especially in the business and legal sectors, where a visible tattoo is a big no-no, especially if it’s on your neck, hands, face, or any other place you can’t readily cover-up. If you have one on your arm you may need to wear a long-sleeved shirt every day. Unfortunately, though they’re seemingly common, tattoos are considered as unwelcome as weird hairstyles, multiple piercings, or other forms of body art. You don’t know exactly what you want

If you just want a tattoo to have one, that may not be the best reason. Remember you’re basically stuck with it for life. Do you really want to explain to your grandchildren why you have a meme on your leg and what it means? Pop culture is fleeting, but tattoos are permanent. Don’t rush into a decision. If you’re female, consider the pregnancy problem Tattoos may be permanent but they’re also changeable. As you age, the skin around the tattoo behaves differently and therefore the ink fades or blurs a touch. But if you’re pregnant, any tattoos you've got may stretch and shrink alongside you. And stretch marks will mar the looks of tattoos already thereon. And it goes without saying that you simply should never get a tattoo while you’re pregnant, because… There’s a risk of infection or worse

Applying a tattoo is literally stabbing your skin to place ink through underneath it. Because it punctures the skin, if the needle isn't sterile it can introduce infection or diseases like hepatitis C or maybe HIV. Even if the needle is correctly sterilized and every one precautions taken, there’s no guarantee you won’t have a reaction to the ink itself. You could have an allergy, or the ink could dissipate into your system leaving you with scarred skin that might be got to be inked once again. If you’re at risk for skin cancer If you’ve had it or have a case history of melanoma, there’s a little chance you'll activate cancer from the location of tattoo ink. This only applies if you have a risk of skin cancer; it does not mean that tattoos cause cancer. But by introducing metals and dyes into your system through the ink, there’s an opportunity that your immune system’s reaction will cause the formation of unhealthy cells. What you don’t know about your artist and their work

The sad thing is that unless you research your artist well you'll find yourself with a terrible tattoo. The internet is filled with pictures of poorly executed art and it’s mostly due to the inexperience of the artist. No matter how cool their sample art looks on the wall, you don’t know if they really drew them. And drawing on paper and tattooing on the skin isn't an equivalent. And of course, there are no erasing tattoos from the skin, at least not to the point of looking new again. Because… Tattoo removal is not easy There are only four real choices when it comes to an unwanted tattoo: you can cover it up with makeup, you can have a coverup tattoo placed over it, or you can go the laser surgery route. Tattoo removal is not like a giant eraser, however; it will lighten the ink but it will never fully destroy all the ink particles in your skin. The fourth choice is surgical removal, which is the most extreme choice and should be the absolute last resort. Tattoos cost money

Of course, they cost money, it’s an industry. But confine mind the quantity of cash involved. And if your tattoo is complex or needs quite one session to finish, tattoos can run into the hundreds if not thousands of dollars. It’s a major cash investment, just like people who buy art to put it on their walls. But you'll always take the art down off the wall and put something else up instead. With your skin, you don’t have that option. If you want someone’s name, think again Even when they’re done beautifully, having a tattoo together with your ex’s name thereon is simply opening up hurt whenever you check out it. Numerous celebrities have been documented with regretful tattoo choices when the love of their life suddenly decides to skip out. Memorial portraits are also really tricky because realistic drawing on the skin is extremely difficult to get right. You could get stuck with an unintentionally funny face. Social considerations

There are social consequences to tattoos. People can and will judge you for them, especially if they’re ironic, edgy, or controversial. The trend may become unpopular again; it’s only in the past 30 years that tattoos gained some acceptability. You yourself might change to the extent that the tattoos do not represent who you're as an individual.

There are many reasons to not get a tattoo. It’s all a matter of risk versus reward. Make the choice with all the knowledge so if you select to take a seat therein tattoo parlor chair, you are doing it with a transparent understanding of what you’re getting yourself into.

#tatto #tattoos #tattoed girls #tattodesign

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armsdealing · 5 years

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* on janus’ godhood, and what it meant for his humanity and his relationship with the earth.

“i come from wartime. how it burned me. / i was born aflame, i believe. a sun / so intentional. a sun in repose, a sun / in continuous sunset, sinking into the ground.” (1)

though janus came from the union between a great old god and a human woman, janus does not consider himself a demigod/semideus, even if it’s the most accurate word for what he is. perhaps at the beginning, when he was still figuring himself out, he took more warmly to the idea, but as his skills developed, his ambition grew, and his aspiration to become a proper god was born. not wanting to live in anyone’s shadow (regardless of whether the shadow existed or not) janus set out to become god pure or for the most part, independent from any other deity including his father, and he was determined to achieve this, even if meant dissociating himself from humanity and the aspects that made him “human”.

“you used to be alive, now you’re almost mythic.” (2)

this was a partially conscious, partially unconscious decision. it all started as a light disregard that, over the span of centuries, amplified into full blown contempt toward mankind. it was no doubts connected to deeply-rooted feelings of social isolation (that existed well before he even became aware of his divine background) and the growing distance he felt toward mortals due to their (as he perceived it) willing ignorance. in other words, as janus grew more secure in his otherness, he began to hate the arrogance of humans, their bloodlust, and the sheer self-absorption that pushed them into killing in general, but in particular that made them kill enlightenment, and how information itself was weaponized or even completely discarded in favor of deliberate lies.

it was around this time that janus found himself shaped into the harshest version of himself, yet, a punitive being that set fire to whole libraries (alongside with their invaders) in response to unmeasured conflict (as it happened in alexandria), and a callous deity who pushed humanity back hundreds of years more than once as means of retribution. when he didn’t manage to do this before humans got to it (like it happened with the siege of Baghdad), he took to unleashing calamities upon them. being already the god of knowledge and patron of artists and scientists, janus became also the protector of rebels, of rogues, and agitators and intellectual revolutionaries. he became the thief god, that would destine you to a life of (economic and intellectual) ruin if you did something he disapproved of. if he didn’t outright kill you or drive you mad, that is.

he was also less patient in his artifact finding efforts in other worlds. though he still preferred to outwit other gods and monsters, he was also quicker to kill them if he found them to be too uncooperative.

i am a drop of gold–i am molten matter returned from the core of the earth to tell you interior things— (3)

as a god, he set out to demand blood. if you aspired to a higher understanding of the world and the things in it, you had to give up parts of yourself. like odin gouging out his own eye, janus demanded fingers, tongues, and even whole limbs and yes, eyes, and when he wasn’t satisfied enough with carnal sacrifices, he demanded bits of people’s minds, too. similar exchanges happened over wealth. making pacts with him was not unlike making deals with the “devil” or fae, because they came at a great cost. he became known as a god of truth, an ironic thing since he wasn’t able to discern lies/truth outright, and instead happened to often know more than his adversaries (be it mortals or other gods and monsters), which helped him detect attempts at deceiving him. eventually, since he was rumored to be able to know when you lied to him (even though he couldn’t), the fear of lying to him made people be overly honest with him, which retroactively (for a “brief” period of time) gave him the ability to discern the truth from the lie, all thanks to Belief. if it’s twisty and confusing, that’s because it is.*

also interesting to note that he very rarely used his human shape during this period. as a way to further elevate himself, and set himself apart, he took to his animal shape and it’s why many people that believe in him from this period only see him as a in an animalistic, tiger-like shape (a shape which is associated with deities that initially began as interpretations of him, like caishen and huye, and that later retroactively became their own independent myths).

“i was born in a forest. / i don’t know my name. / i was born on a mountain but changed / my mind. i was born / in the desert.” (1)

“who defined me? my culture, a culture of mercy, a living codex. i am a unique culture of one, from everywhere -- i am everyone in the story; I am the story.” (4)

another thing janus did to separate himself from his human background was burying it. no one knows janus’ human name. no one knows exactly when or where he was born, though they can guess it to be somewhere before the birth of christ, in the territory of current taiwan. no one knows what came to be of his mother, though it is true that despite everything he loved her far more than he could ever feel anything toward his father (whom he’s never met, to this day). he took the name of janus, a forgotten roman god, as his go-to identification, but he actually possesses many, many other names that come up depending on the time period or even the universe he inhabits, and it has earned him the title of thousand-named god. he’s operated under the names of other deities, like hermes/mercury, caerus, and apollo, and he’s earned names in other realms of existence, like zhaogd'endir (which is the closest thing to his real cosmic name), iuxuixurh, and l'iach. he still answers to each, and every one of these names, though he’s taken to going by janus unless he needs to further identify himself.

ultimately, despite everything he’s done to set himself apart from mortals and the earth itself, he remains a god defined by his very human origin, and his very human motivations. his desire to build the library of babel, for one, was an escalation from his desire for keeping his mother’s artworks, which were threatened to be destroyed during a regime change/hostile takeover of the city they lived in. this desire, with time, expanded into becoming the main purpose of his existence. with time, he came to understand that he couldn’t actually stop humans (and other lesser beings, for that matter) from doing the things they did (and the times he has experimented with doing, so have backfired), but he can save these items, and he can keep them in a place where they can’t ever be destroyed or misused. from this simple, personal wish, came a cosmic-scale effort that continues on to this day.

indeed, as he grew older, he became much more patient and understanding, and thus less cruel. it took a couple of epiphanies, but the more he ruminated on the things he truly appreciated about humans, the more he deemed his past actions as juvenile acting out. his experiences turned him wise, and he developed a more blithesome and whimsical temperament as a result. he’s warmer now; softer and more open towards things like forgiveness.

it’s important to note he’s still not exactly wholesome: although in hindsight he dislikes how he used to be, he doesn’t regret any of the more questionable things he’s done and bodies he’s burned, and while he will go for more pacifist problem-solving techniques, he can and he will resort for more drastic MO’s if necessary.

tldr: janus used to be a real dick when he was a younger god. and he’s still a dick but not as much.

*basically in the nulliverse, Belief can actively attribute powers to gods they might not otherwise have (it requires believers honestly thinking their gods capable of these feats). Belief can also be used to confere powers to mortals, to a lesser extent. (1) genealogy by camille rankine. (2) songs and stories of the ghouls by alice notley (3) autobiography of red by anne carson (4) culture of one by alice notley

#ive been working on this for days #granted just a bit of time each day bc im exhausted every day #* janus.#hc.#long post.

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thosewhoruleegypt · 6 years

Text

The Cost of Kingship (Chapter 6)

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Characters/Ships: Thief King Bakura; Zorc Necrophades; Diabound Rating: T (WARNINGS for violence and descriptions of starvation) Length: Chapter 6 / 6; 3300 words

Summary:

If I can figure out how to use these cards, I’ll never be starving again. The thought appeared out of nowhere, as if it wasn’t even his own. Bakura sat there in the darkness, contemplating the implications and running the worn, bony pads of his fingers over the edges of the rare cards he had unwittingly stolen: “Dark Master - Zorc” and “Contract with the Dark Master.”

The Rise of the Thief King. Alternative backstory for TKBakura, in the Ancient Egyptian AU-verse of the series Those who Rule Egypt. Can be read separately.

Read on AO3 Main Story Begins Here! Previous Chapter – Next Chapter

Chapter Six: Bakura, King of Thieves

The Shadow Realm vibrated with energy around him, and Thief King Bakura shivered.

Thief King... Thief King... I am... the Thief King. He kept repeating it to himself.

"It was worth it, wasn't it, child?" Zorc chuckled, from where he crouched several meters away. "For the power to call yourself the Thief King?"

"That's right..." Bakura murmured. "I am the Thief King. The unnamed Thief King... Thief King Bakura... King of the Thieves..."

Shadow Bakura was busily shuffling his deck on the other side of a flat expanse of sand; he seemed genuinely excited, and Bakura wondered how much of his Shadow Self was, indeed, his own soul.

"Let's stay out of each other's thoughts, to have a fair duel of it," the Thief King called, and the Shadow nodded.

"Of course! I don't need resort to things like that to beat you."

Bakura looked down at two cards—held them out. "Why don't you use the Dark Master? I've never fought against him, and I'd like to, at least once."

"I'd be honored, of course!" Shadow Bakura replied, with a grin. They met halfway across the impromptu battlefield, and Zorc's card changed hands. The Dark Master faded out if existence, where he had been crouched, presumably vanishing into his card.

I don't know if this will do what I hope it will... but... Bakura swallowed; licked his lips, and tasted strong wine there. Hunger and thirst didn't exist in the Shadow Realm—it was unnatural, he thought, and swallowed again.

Diabound... fight beside me, old friend, just this one last time...

"The loser will have to forfeit, of course," Shadow Bakura said. "Are you okay with that, Host? Losing all your life points in a duel means dying, here. We wouldn't want either of us to actually die, now would we?"

"Of course not..." Bakura murmured; moved to one side of the field, as his effigy walked to the other. "Loser surrenders willingly, of course."

"You go first, Host!" Shadow Bakura called invitingly. "Let's have a good time of it!"

"Let's have a good duel..." the Thief King agreed, and drew his hand. Well, then... maybe just one god in this whole hopeless world does like me, just a little bit... "I summon Souls of the Forgotten, to defend, and end my turn."

"I know your strategies, Thief King! I know our strategies!" Shadow Bakura jeered. "I hope you've thought up some new moves, or this will be an awfully boring duel!" He drew a card; announced, "I summon Souls of the Forgotten, to attack! I end my turn."

To attack...? For a moment, Bakura forgot completely about the larger situation as he tried to figure out why his Shadow Self had made such a move. He drew a card; narrowed his eyes slightly, and said, "Have it your way, Shadow Me. I summon Abaki, to attack! Go, my servant—attack his Souls of the Forgotten!"

The demented little field loped across the field; smashed Souls of the Forgotten with its club. Shadow Bakura winced, but kept smiling.

"Your move!" Bakura called out, as Abaki scampered back to his side of the field.

Shadow Bakura nodded; drew a card, and smiled. "My card is Portrait's Secret, and I summon it to attack! Then I end my turn."

To attack, again...? Bakura blinked. Sending cards intentionally to the graveyard was a strategy he employed, so that didn't seem odd. But it's just stupid to put them in position to attack... you lose way too many life points, that way...!

"What's the matter?" Shadow Bakura called. "Weren't you looking forward to this duel? I'm having fun already!"

Unsettled, Thief King Bakura drew a card. This is... "I play the equip spell Bashing Shield! It ups Abaki's attack to 2700! Then, I summon Dark Artist, to attack! Go, Abaki—attack his Portrait's Secret! Dark Artist, attack him directly!"

Shadow Bakura seemed genuinely alarmed, for an instant, as his monster was obliterated. Dark Artist struck him directly, then, and his Life dropped from 3200 to 1700 to 1100.

"You know I like to equip Bashing Shield to Abaki," Bakura said, with a trace of annoyance in his voice. "You had to have seen that coming."

Shadow Bakura chuckled; didn't reply, and drew a card. "I summon Earthbound Spirit, to defend. I end my turn."

Bakura grit his teeth. What in Ammit's belly is going on...? What is he doing? Was I wrong? Does he know exactly what I'm planning to do, during this duel? Is this his idea of thwarting my plans?

"Let's make this a little more interesting, Host," Shadow Bakura called out. "Let's make a bet, between just you and I, now that Master Zorc isn't listening."

Zorc... isn't listening...? Thief King Bakura leaned forward slightly. "A wager? You really are a part of me, then."

Shadow Bakura laughed. "We're the same, Host."

"What do you want to bet, Other Me?"

"If you win, I'll let you survive, inside of me. Powerless, trapped, but still able to think independently. You want that, don't you?"

The Thief King's mouth went dry. "I don't know. That sorta sounds like hell."

"And if I win, you won't damage our body, like you're planning to."

"You know about that?"

"We share a mind and a body, Other Me. I know everything."

Except you don't, really... Thief King Bakura thought. If you did, you'd know that was only my backup plan, and something I made sure to dwell on, to distract you from my real plan. No, I managed to keep my actual plan from you, somehow. And even now, you don't realize what I'm about to do.

"Alright," the Thief King said, with a shaky grin. "It's a bet." Reassured, he drew a card. "I set one card, then tribute Dark Artist to summon Diabound Kernel to my field! Abaki, attack his servant! Diabound, attack him directly!"

Diabound, much to Bakura's visceral relief, materialized unmarred by corrosive disease, as grand and imposing as it had ever been. The white serpent opened it's jaws wide; bore it's fangs and hissed at Shadow Bakura, then lunged as Abaki smashed through Earthbound Spirit. The defending monster shattered, but Shadow Bakura didn't flinch. As Diabound flew at him, he held up the cards in his hands as if to hide his eyes.

Thief King Bakura watched in astonishment as Diabound's attack faltered; as a monster of some sort materialized on Shadow Bakura's side of the field. Diabound withdrew.

"Battle Fader summons itself from my hand when I control no monsters and you declare a direct attack," Shadow Bakura announced. "It ends your battle phase! Now..." he drew a card with a flourish; grinned, "prepare yourself, Other Me! First, I play the spell card The Dark Door—only one monster may attack, during each battle phase! Then, I banish Portrait's Secret, Earthbound Spirit, and Souls of the Forgotten, to summon Dark Necrofear to the field! Come, my servant!"

Thief King Bakura took a step back as the ghoulish monster took form, the doll in its arms chattering. He felt himself begin to smile, and thought it might be a monster he'd love to steal, under different circumstances. Good... Good, Shadow Me... give me a fight worth this plan of mine... Let's have a fun duel, you and I...

"I set two cards, and end my turn!" Shadow Bakura announced, and then folded his arms.

It seems odd that he didn't attack with Dark Necrofear, but he's shown that everything he does is to an end... Thief King Bakura drew a card and examined his hand. I have Souls of the Forgotten defending, Diabound, and Abaki with Bashing Shield... multiple monsters don't do me much good, though, thanks to his Dark Door...

"Very well, Shadow Me!" he called. "I don't know what you're planning, but I'll take your bait! I select Abaki to attack, this turn! Go, Abaki—destroy his Dark Necrofear!"

"I activate my trap card, Dark Spirit of the Silent!" Shadow Bakura countered, and Abaki skittered to a halt halfway across the field, seeming confused. "Abaki's attack is negated, and I select Souls of the Forgotten to attack, instead!"

Bakura watched in astonishment as Souls of the Forgotten changed itself into attack position; surged forward, and was destroyed effortlessly by Dark Necrofear. He shivered, physically chilled, as his life points dropped to 2700.

"Ready to surrender?" Shadow Bakura called over.

"When I'm having such fun?" the Thief King replied, with an honest laugh. "This duel's just begun!"

"Just be sure you don't accidentally take a fatal blow!" the effigy replied, chuckling. "I'd hate to have to call off my own attack, at the last minute. I'd be quite an anticlimactic end."

"More anticlimactic than a forfeit?" Bakura asked. "We're already playing a bit of a bloodless game."

Shadow Bakura laughed again. "Wouldn't do to tear each other apart like a couple of feral things, now would it?"

"Wouldn't do at all."

Shadow Bakura drew a card; called over, "Are you ready, Other Me? I'll show you that surrender if your only option!"

"I'm ready, Other Me." ... I don't want this duel to end... Bakura shivered; ran his fingers along the cards in his hand and admired the graceful sway of Diabound Kernel, awaiting his instruction on the field. I don’t want it to end. "Do your worst."

"Very well!" Shadow Bakura called. "First, I activate my set trap, Just Desserts! Since you control two monsters, it deals you 1000 points of direct damage!"

Thief King Bakura shivered as his life points fled him, leaving him with just 1700, and he felt for a moment he might collapse. But he was smiling, swaying slightly; his eyes remained fixed on Dark Necrofear, with it's 2200 attack points.

Come—attack me!

But Shadow Bakura didn't declare an attack. Instead, he said, "I'll show you the true terror of fighting against fate!" and held up a card. "Contract with the Dark Master! I tribute Dark Necrofear and Battle Fader to summon the Dark Master to my field! Come, Dark Master - Zorc! Grant our host one more wish, in fighting against you just this once!"

Bakura's breath caught as a torrential wind picked up, on the duel field, and the Dark Master began to take shape. Diabound hissed, though the sound of it was snatched away by the tumultuous summon. In the monstrous figure that took shape, within the violet-hued vortex sand, the King of Thieves saw a future he wanted nothing to do with; a master he wished to disavow, passionately, with his final breath.

I don't want this duel to end, though...

Bakura's hand shook, and he closed his eyes. Diabound... my friend... The massive serpent on the field turned; sensed something, and opened its jaws with a questioning tilt of its head. "Diabound... my pride..."

"The Dark Master attacks Diabound Kernel!" Shadow Bakura shrieked, his voice so much like the Thief King's own. Bakura raised his hand—still shaking—and opened his eyes; looked not at his opponent, the effigy, and not at the raging Dark Master. He kept his eyes fixed on Diabound Kernel.

The rest is up to you, my friend.

"My set card is Astral Barrier! The Dark Master's attack becomes a direct attack; I sacrifice what's left of my Life for Diabound Kernel!"

Zorc's roaring changed pitch—from victorious to alarmed. But it was too late to stop the move that Shadow Bakura had declared, and Thief King Bakura felt the attack slam into his body. He tried, for a moment, to bite back the exclamation of pain; failed, and screamed with the sensation of his Life burning away, rising like smoke from his own mortal body. Shadow Bakura, too, began to wheeze; clutched at his chest as the Thief King's body convulsed. Bakura's knees struck the ground.

"Each monster would have its own ritual for release. Sacrifice—symbolic and-or literal—would most likely be part of any one." That was what the priest had said. And, in the Shadow Realm, all spells and traps manifested literally—one's life points were one's own Life, in the Shadow Realm, and loosing meant—

Thief King Bakura hit the ground; hadn't the strength to even turn his face away from the dust, and lost consciousness.

... ... ...

Scales wrapped around the Thief King, in his slumber. He expected to meet Osiris, in the darkness, but instead met his Shadow Self.

"Thief King, ay?" the effigy chortled, spreading his arms. He sat cross-legged on the ground, so Bakura was looking down at him. "Thief King enough to steal your soul back from the Dark Master, is that what you think?"

"No," the Thief King answered honestly. "At least Thief King enough to at least steal away his victory, though."

"Come—come here." Shadow Bakura motioned, and the Thief King stretched out one hand. He couldn't see the limb—it didn't exist, or so it seemed, in the darkness. But Shadow Bakura still took hold of it, and Thief King Bakura felt the effigy's hands fold around his own invisible one. "It was a good duel. We should do it again, some time."

Bakura sunk down into a crouch. His Shadow Self was smiling in an entirely strange way—eerily resigned, but happily so. "We can't. I'm going to die."

"You already are dead. But you should know by now that that's a fixable thing, if you cast the right spell."

... ... ...

Bakura woke to dirt clogging his nose and mouth, and began immediately to cough. He spluttered, pushing himself frantically upright and hacking up a mouthful of bloody sand. As his senses returned to him, slowly, he became aware of a sloppy, wet chopping sound a short distance from him. At first, he kept his head lowered; tried to catch his breath before he looked up, and saw the mutilated form of the Dark Master lying several yards away. Zorc's blood—maroon and sticky; too thick—gathered in the sand, turning it to sludge-like mud, as Diabound hacked determinedly away at the body with its fangs. Though no good for gnawing, they were excellent for slashing and gouging and otherwise separating body parts from one another. The rest of the surrounding area was empty, without any trace of Shadow Bakura.

The white serpent turned; slithered toward the Thief King, leaving behind the mangled body of the Dark Master, and Bakura pushed himself up to meet it. Diabound butted its brow against his chest, knocking the already-scarce breath from him, and nuzzled into his stomach with a blood-slicked muzzle. Bakura laughed faintly, letting his arms drape over the ridge of its neck.

"Did it... work...?" he asked—perhaps of himself; perhaps of Diabound. The monster offered no understandable reply, but hummed—a pleasant sound. Its tail whisked across the dirt. Bakura scratched absently at the hind ridge of the snake's skull, and the humming intensified. He did a mental sweep for Zorc, seeking out any trace of the Dark Master within his own mind; found nothing. "Did that... actually work...?"

Beside him sat a spell card: Monster Reborn.

"Did you do that, Dia...?" he asked the snake faintly, when he noticed it. Diabound pushed its muzzle more insistently into the soft flesh below his rib cage. "Oof... okay, okay... yeah, I get it... you're happy, hmm?"

Once again, the monster's response was inarticulate, but unmistakably pleased. Bakura let his hands drop, and picked up the card.

"Well... alive again, it seems..." he murmured, and Diabound drew back slightly; watched him with keen, intelligent eyes. "Did it work, though? Are you free from your card? And is Zorc sealed in his?" Bakura swore he saw the snake nod, a slight bobbing of its elongated head. "Well... one way to find out, I suppose. Trap, Destiny Board: deactivate."

A familiar, sweeping white enveloped Thief King Bakura, and he found himself suddenly in his own room at his hideout. He gave a stifled shout of surprise as the huge serpent materialized with him—far too large for the space, its tail immediately sweeping a shelf-full of treasures to the ground with a clatter. Bakura himself was knocked rather violently back by its head, but was laughing as he landed heavily on his back.

"It worked... gods alive, it worked!"

Diabound, above him, resumed its insistent nuzzling of him, and he wrapped his arms around its head; almost began to cry, with the sheer relief of it. He was vaguely aware of his other cards scattered about the floor, but didn't bother to gather them until Diabound had calmed a bit; withdrawn enough for him to sit up.

When he found Zorc's card, the King of Thieves paused; looked down at it.

Dark Master - Zorc...

He remembered, vividly, looking down at that card as a small child, half-feral and desperately hungry. He remembered that it had driven him mad—that Zorc had driven him temporarily mad, in the hopes of making a malleable servant of him. It had nearly worked.

"It nearly worked, didn't it, Diabound...?" Bakura breathed, and the snake nudged his arm; bumped his elbow more insistently until Zorc's card was jarred from his grasp. He chuckled. "Yeah, you're right. Doesn't matter now, does it? He doesn't matter."

"Thief King?"

Bakura glanced up to see one of his juniors standing in the doorway. He scrambled for some sort of explanation as to his current company, and then realized that Diabound had vanished; that where Zorc's card had been knocked away, a moment before, Diabound Kernel's rested in his hand. He felt himself smile.

"Yeah? What is it?"

The thief shifted, obviously nervous. "We... heard a ruckus..."

"Did you roll dice, to see who'd come up and investigate?"

The man chuckled faintly. "I... well, we... drew cards, yes..."

Bakura laughed—overjoyed that there was no nagging desire to kill the man, no whispered voice in the back of his mind that didn't belong to him. "Nothing to worry about. Though, since you went to the trouble, bring me up some supper. Something good. And wine, the best we have."

The thief, looking earnestly relieved, darted from the room. Bakura sat still for a moment, then raised one hand; pressed it to his own chest.

Other me... Shadow Me... you're back where you belong now, aren't you? Back where you came from, as a part of my soul...

He received no response, but perceived the truth of it. Zorc no longer dwelt inside him, and again he found himself laughing again with relief. He laid back on the floor, on the expensive rug that wasn't stained with blood, and gazed up at the ceiling. Even with all the sacrifices in the world, Zorc couldn't resurrect without that piece of human soul, given in exchange for a wish. To be King of Thieves...

But what now...? Gods... what now...

A sudden, yawning sense of purposelessness opened up, where the hole in his soul had just recently been filled—this one much deeper and more profound, for it's lack of immediate remedy. He glanced over when his underling returned, but didn't bother to sit up.

"Leave it," he said, not gruffly but with finality. The thief obeyed; left the roast meat and wine on a table, bowed, and then vanished. It was the scent of the food, as much as anything, that eventually coaxed Bakura to rise.

"What now...?" he asked aloud, and received no response. For an odd, confusing moment, he missed Zorc's voice in his head, if only for the impossibility of loneliness that it had lent. "Damn..."

He sat down heavily; looked around the hushed room, filled with such treasures as to rival the Pharaoh's wealth. They lent him no joy, in their sparkling. But he tucked into his meal, a resolution to keep living despite the odd sense of despair and loss. He ate, with relish, and wondered why he made such a deliberate secret of his name. No longer Bakura... but simply the King. The King of Thieves. Perhaps, he thought, forgetting his own name would rid him of nagging human things like a longing for purpose. The King of Thieves would not succumb to things that tormented the man Bakura. He drank, and thought about how his life would proceed.

The King of Thieves... my pride, Diabound, as my only companion...

Pride flickered, then, in his chest—battered back the darkness, for a moment, with it's light. And he smiled; ate, and leaned back when he'd finished his meal; began to hum quietly to himself, a commoner's lullaby he'd almost forgotten.

I'll live... yes. He thought it with certainty, as if it had been in question until that point. I'll keep living, as the King of Thieves... nothing more, and nothing less. I'll live.

#thief king bakura #tk bakura #yu-gi-oh!#yugioh #diabound #zorc necrophades #tkb #fanfiction #fanfic #TwRE #those who rule egypt #TCoK #the cost of kingship

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propheticfire · 7 years

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Was tagged by @deepseacritter! Thanks! Time to learn about me, lol.

Nicknames: Phire, Kiwi

Gender/Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: Virgo/Libra

Height: 6′

Time: 10:00pm

Birthday: September 21st

Favorite Bands: Imagine Dragons? Is that a band? I dunno popular music anymore. Florence & the Machine?

Favorite Solo Artist: I don’t know? Uhhh lately I’ve been really enjoying Rafferty and Tay Salem. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Song stuck in your head: Well now that I mentioned Tay Salem it’s Threads.

Last Movie you watched: Return of the Jedi

Last Show you watched: Round Planet

Why did you create your blog?: I wanted to follow/get involved with the Deep Dish Nine AU subfandom of Star Trek’s Deep Space Nine

What do you post?: Actually posting, it’s mostly just thoughts and complaints and pictures of my action figures. But I reblog a lot of Clone Wars content, and Star Wars/Star Trek stuff, and just a lot of random shit.

Last thing you googled: “does the Force run in families?”

Other Blogs: I have an aesthetic blog! neversettledalwayssearching

AO3: propheticfire

Do you get asks?: Lol what are those?

How did you get the idea for your URL?: It started out as my fanfiction.net username, and I needed something cool and unique and nothing else I was thinking of was available, so I just used that.

Followers: 394, currently. I’ve tried to weed out as many porn bots as I can, but I’m sure there’s some non-real-people blogs following me.

Average hours of sleep?: 8 or 9, but I also don’t currently have a job or any obligations to get up for, so I’m thankfully able to sleep until I wake up naturally. For once in my life.

Lucky Number: I don’t think I have one.

Instruments: I don’t even feel like I should list any, since it’s been so long since I’ve touched any of them, but I used to actually play alto sax, oboe, wooden flute, and Irish whistle, and I was at one point trying to learn to play clarinet, ukulele, bass guitar, and piano. I also have a Chinese reed flute, an ocarina, and a pan flute that I have no idea how to play, lol. I am also a classically trained singer, so opera/operetta/choir, but I don’t sing anymore either.

What are you wearing?: Sweatpants from my college, pajama top, hoodie from a resort on Lake Superior, and slipper socks with little pom-poms on them.

Dream job?: I used to want to be an actress. Was actively pursuing that, until life fell apart. Now, I don’t even know. Something that doesn’t destroy my body, doesn’t trigger my depression or anxiety, and pays enough for me to move out on my own again, with a little left over so I can buy clone trooper merchandise.

Dream trip?: New Zealand and the Pacific islands

Favorite food: Indian food? Does that count?

Significant other: Do not have

Last book you read: Working my way through Star Wars in the Public Square: The Clone Wars as Political Dialogue

Top three fictional universes: This is highly subject to my mood and my current interests, so there’s never an overarching top three. Currently, I guess I’d say Star Wars, Star Trek, and...I don’t even know; what mood am I in? I’ll say Stargate this time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#Prophetic thoughts #tag meme #get to know me meme #uhhh do it if you want to?#I dun' wanna tag anybody

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todaystoriesclub · 5 years

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10 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Never Get A Tattoo

Tattoos are a lot of things besides trendy. They can show the world the things you care about the most because you’ve immortalized them on your skin. They can memorialize loved ones or bear inspirational messages with you always. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take them seriously, or consider all the pros and cons before deciding whether or not to get one. Whatever your considerations for getting inked, keep in mind these 10 reasons why a tattoo might not be right for you.

You’re looking for a job

You don’t know exactly what you want

If you just want a tattoo to have one, that may not be the best reason. Remember you’re stuck with it for life. Do you want to explain to your grandchildren why you have a meme on your leg and what it means? Pop culture is fleeting, but tattoos are permanent. Don’t rush into a decision.

If you’re female, consider the pregnancy problem

Tattoos may be permanent but they’re also changeable. As you age, the skin around the tattoo behaves differently and the ink fades or blurs a bit. But if you’re pregnant, any tattoos you have may stretch and shrink along with you. And stretch marks will mar the appearance of tattoos already on it. And you should never get a tattoo while you’re pregnant, because…

There’s a risk of infection or worse

Applying a tattoo is stabbing your skin to put ink through underneath it. Because it punctures the skin, if the needle is not sterile it can introduce infection or diseases like Hepatitis C or even HIV. Even if the needle is properly sterilized and all precautions are taken, there’s no guarantee you won’t react to the ink itself. You could have an allergic reaction, or the ink could dissipate into your system leaving you with scarred skin that would need to be inked over again.

If you’re at risk for skin cancer

If you’ve had it or have a family history of melanoma, there’s a small chance you could activate cancer from the placement of tattoo ink. This only applies if you have a risk of skin cancer; it does not mean that tattoos cause cancer. But by introducing metals and dyes into your system through the ink, there’s a chance that your immune system’s reaction will lead to the formation of unhealthy cells.

What you don’t know about your artist and their work

The sad thing is that unless you research your artist well you may end up with a terrible tattoo. The internet is full of pictures of poorly executed art and it’s mostly because of the inexperience of the artist. No matter how cool their sample art looks on the wall, you don’t know if they drew them. And drawing on paper and tattooing on the skin are not the same. And of course, there are no erasing tattoos from the skin, at least not to the point of looking new again. Because…

Tattoo removal is not easy

There are only four real choices when it comes to an unwanted tattoo: you can cover it up with makeup, you can have a coverup tattoo placed over it, or you can go the laser surgery route. Tattoo removal is not like a giant eraser, however; it will lighten the ink but it will never fully destroy all the ink particles in your skin. The fourth choice is surgical removal, which is the most extreme choice and should be the absolute last resort.

Tattoos cost money

Of course, they cost money, it’s an industry. But keep in mind the amount of money involved. And if your tattoo is complex or needs more than one session to complete, tattoos can run into the hundreds if not thousands of dollars. It’s a major cash investment, just like people who buy art to put it on their walls. But you can always take the art down off the wall and put something else up instead. With your skin, you don’t have that option.

If you want someone’s name, think again

Even when they’re done beautifully, having a tattoo with your ex’s name on it is just opening up hurt every time you look at it. Numerous celebrities have been documented with regretful tattoo choices when the love of their life suddenly decides to skip out. Memorial portraits are also really tricky because realistic drawing on the skin is extremely difficult to get right. You could get stuck with an unintentionally funny face.

Social considerations

There are social consequences to tattoos. People can and will judge you for them, especially if they’re ironic, edgy, or controversial. The trend may become unpopular again; it’s only in the past 30 years that tattoos gained some acceptability. You might change to the extent that the tattoos no longer represent who you are as a person.

There are many reasons not to get a tattoo. It’s all a matter of risk versus reward. Decide with all the information so if you choose to sit in that tattoo parlor chair, you do it with a clear understanding of what you’re getting yourself into.

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iliassfan-blog · 5 years

Text

10 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Never Get A Tattoo

Tattoos are a lot of things besides trendy. They can show the world the things you care about the most, because you’ve immortalized them on your skin. They can memorialize loved ones or bear inspirational messages with you always. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take them seriously, or consider all the pros and cons before deciding whether or not to get one. Whatever your considerations for getting inked, keep in mind these 10 reasons why a tattoo might not be right for you.

You’re looking for a job

Not all employers look down on tattoos, but there are some industries, especially in the business and legal sectors, where a visible tattoo is a big no-no, especially if it’s on your neck, hands, face, or any other place you can’t readily cover up. If you have one on your arm you may need to wear a long-sleeved shirt every day. Unfortunately though they’re seemingly common, tattoos are considered as unwelcome as weird hairstyles, multiple piercings, or other forms of body art.

You don’t know exactly what you want

If you’re female, consider the pregnancy problem

Tattoos may be permanent but they’re also changeable. As you age, the skin around the tattoo behaves differently and the ink fades or blurs a bit. But if you’re pregnant, any tattoos you have may stretch and shrink along with you. And stretch marks will mar the appearance of tattoos already on it. And it goes without saying that you should never get a tattoo while you’re pregnant, because…

There’s a risk of infection or worse

Applying a tattoo is literally stabbing your skin to put ink through underneath it. Because it punctures the skin, if the needle is not sterile it can introduce infection or diseases like Hepatitis C or even HIV. Even if the needle is properly sterilized and all precautions taken, there’s no guarantee you won’t have a reaction to the ink itself. You could have an allergic reaction, or the ink could dissipate into your system leaving you with scarred skin that would need to be inked over again.

If you’re at risk for skin cancer

If you’ve had it or have a family history of melanoma, there’s a small chance you could activate the cancer from the placement of tattoo ink. This only applies if you have a risk of skin cancer; it does not mean that tattoos cause cancer. But by introducing metals and dyes into your system through the ink, there’s a chance that your immune system’s reaction will lead to the formation of unhealthy cells.

What you don’t know about your artist and their work

The sad thing is that unless you research your artist well you may end up with a terrible tattoo. The internet is full of pictures of poorly executed art and it’s mostly because of the inexperience of the artist. No matter how cool their sample art looks on the wall, you don’t know if they actually drew them. And drawing on paper and tattooing on skin are not the same. And of course, there is no erasing tattoos from skin, at least not to the point of looking new again. Because…

Tattoo removal is not easy

Tattoos cost money

Of course they cost money, it’s an industry. But keep in mind the amount of money involved. And if your tattoo is complex or needs more than one session to complete, tattoos can run into the hundreds if not thousands of dollars. It’s a major cash investment, just like people who buy art to put it on their walls. But you can always take the art down off the wall and put something else up instead. With your skin, you don’t have that option.

If you want someone’s name, think again

Even when they’re done beautifully, having a tattoo with your ex’s name on it is just opening up hurt every time you look at it. Numerous celebrities have been documented with regretful tattoo choices when the love of their life suddenly decides to skip out. Memorial portraits are also really tricky, because realistic drawing on skin is extremely difficult to get right. You could get stuck with an unintentionally funny face.

Social considerations

There are many reasons not to get a tattoo. It’s all a matter of risk versus reward. Make the decision with all the information so if you choose to sit in that tattoo parlor chair, you do it with a clear understanding of what you’re getting yourself into.

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scifihorroradventure · 7 years

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FRANKENSTEIN UNBOUND (1990)

The year is 2031. Completing his work on a new particle beam weapon for the government, scientist Joe Buchanan (John Hurt) assures that the atmospheric "time slips" appearing in the skies are harmless and totally reversible. Unfortunately, as he returns home that day, a time slip appears above his house and sucks him in, sending him through time and space to Geneva in 1817. As he attempts to piece the situation together, Joe encounters none other than Doctor Victor Frankenstein (Raul Julia). An innocent girl (Catherine Corman) is currently on trial for the death of Victor's brother William, but Joe soon discovers that the culprit is none other than Victor's own Monster (Nick Brimble). Despite Joe's pleading for Victor to come forth with the truth, the girl is executed for the murder. Having met her at the girl's trial, Joe spends time with Mary Shelley (Bridget Fonda), the author of the "Frankenstein" novel, though at this point she has yet to write it. When Victor refuses to give in to the Monster's demands to create a mate for him, the Monster lashes out and kills Victor's fiance Elizabeth (Catherine Rabett). Desperate, Victor forces Joe into helping resurrect her as a second monster. Realizing he has to stop Victor and the Monster before they cause any more harm, Joe uses a newly constructed version of his particle beam to teleport them all into a frozen wasteland of a future. Victor and Elizabeth are killed and Joe hunts the Monster down to finish him once and for all.

A downright bizarre film, Frankenstein Unbound is an oddly captivating experience. Its premise is completely insane and yet somehow it works far better than it has any right to. Based on Brian Aldiss' novel of the same name, Unbound was the first film Roger Corman had directed in nearly twenty years (the last one being Von Richthofen and Brown in 1971). Part of why the film works so well is that, despite all the time travel and dystopian framework, once Joe ends up in 1817, the movie mostly forgets about all that and turns into a pretty decent Frankenstein movie. The relationship between Victor and the Monster is portrayed rather well, with the latter much more humanized than most incarnations. Wisely, the film skips the more well known parts of the Frankenstein story - Victor creating the Monster - picking up well after the Monster has escaped out into the world, allowing the story to venture into new territory right off the bat (or at least new territory for most film adaptations). The movie looks very nice, filmed in some very pretty sets and locations. The special effects in the future at the start of the film are serviceable, most notably the purple space-like time slip that opens and absorbs Joe throughout the movie, which is a really striking visual.

What really makes the film work, though, is its cast. John Hurt makes for a great lead as Joe Buchanan, a well-meaning man who is nonetheless blind to his own creation's side effects, even as giant portals begin to open in the sky. Luckily, Joe proves to be a likeable hero who lets common sense prevail more often than not when he could've easily been a jackass know-it-all type. If there's anything about Joe that could be legitimately complained about, it's that there are times where it doesn't feel like he has very much to do other than stand around and watch the story of Frankenstein unfold around him. This, of course, changes by the explosive finale, where he takes a very active role in things. But while John Hurt may be the hero of the story, Raul Julia steals the show as the infamous Dr. Victor Frankenstein. Julia is such an odd casting choice for the doctor, but like the over the top premise of the movie, somehow it just works. Julia's Victor is a clearly unstable man, having reached a peak of frustration and fury with the Monster, not caring for much else. While he views the Monster as a threat that must be destroyed, he otherwise sees nothing wrong with what he's done, even letting innocent Justine hang so that he can be allowed to carry on with his work. By the time Elizabeth is killed, he has completely lost it, vowing to not let her pay for his mistakes even as he turns her into an even more hideous creature than the Monster. Bridget Fonda plays Mary Shelley and honestly doesn't have very much to do. She acts mainly as a love interest for Joe, but all she really accomplishes is muddling the line between fiction and reality for no real reason. This is supposed to be "real life," yet Victor and the Monster actually exist, and nothing is really said about it either way, not even by Joe. Later, Joe shows Mary a completed version of "Frankenstein," but apparently isn't worried about what possible effect this will have on history. While Fonda plays the character well enough, she's an overall strange addition that doesn't really do anything but raise several questions that otherwise wouldn't have been there.

As the titular Monster, Nick Brimble plays the character less like a hulking beast and more as the lost and confused being that he is in the original story, resorting to violence when his anger with Victor reaches its peak - which is frequent. Brimble is far more talkative and coherent than most screen incarnations of the Monster, though he still has trouble comprehending concepts such as what murder truly means, even after killing Victor's brother William. He also can't seem to understand that Victor didn't make everyone else in the world (he asks Victor why he didn't "make William stronger" and later asks Joe if Victor made him or not), which is odd considering the whole "I am all alone and I want you to make me a mate so I can no longer be alone" thing. While not one of the most iconic incarnations of the Frankenstein Monster, Brimble makes for a good one, his stretched out face prostheses effectively grotesque yet striking in a way completely different from the traditional look most people associate the Monster with. If there's one oddity about the Monster's role in the film, it's not because of Brimble, but rather the film itself. Throughout the film, the Monster is portrayed as an admittedly violent, but still ultimately sympathetic, misunderstood, and tragic character, as he usually is. Which is why it's so disturbing when the film goes full on Jason Voorhees on him during the climactic fight with Joe in the futuristic laboratory. We have to watch him get shot multiple times, impaled, his arm torn off, and then finally slowly, slowly burned to death, screaming in agony and confusion all the while. Yes, the Monster had to be dealt with by the end of the film, but the way they went about it was just so drawn out and needlessly cruel, it's rather uncomfortable to watch.

Upon first glance, one might be inclined to dismiss Frankenstein Unbound. Roger Corman's involvement, the initially odd casting of Raul Julia, the futuristic, dystopian, and time travel elements, when all rolled together, might make one think that this will be a bad, over the top film that does no justice to the Frankenstein story. And while it certainly is over the top and cheesy, it's done in such a serious manner that one can't help but find themselves drawn in by it. At the very least, the performances by the cast alone make this movie worth a watch.

Rating: ★★★★

Cast: John Hurt ... Dr. Joe Buchanan Raul Julia ... Dr. Victor Frankenstein Nick Brimble ... The Monster Bridget Fonda ... Mary Shelley Catherine Rabett ... Elizabeth Terri Treas ... Computer Voice Jason Patric ... Lord Byron Michael Hutchence ... Percy Shelley Catherine Corman ... Justine Moritz

Director: Roger Corman. Producer: Jay Cassidy (associate producer), Roger Corman, Kobi Jaeger, Laura J. Medina (associate producer), and Thom Mount. Writer: Brian Aldiss (original "Frankenstein Unbound" novel), Roger Corman (screenplay), F.X. Feeney (screenplay), and Mary Shelley (original "Frankenstein" novel). Music: Carl Davis. Special Effects: Nick Dudman (special makeup effects), Suzy Evans (prosthetic makeup assistant), Suzanne Reynolds (prosthetic makeup), Renato Agostini (set special effects), Reza Karim (foam latex supervisor), Betzy Bromberg (optical supervisor), Syd Dutton (matte artist), Bruno George (optical effects), Rhonda C. Gunner (computer animation and displays), Richard E. Hollander (computer animation and displays), John Huneck (visual effects camera), Adam Kowalski (special rigging), Lynn Ledgerwood (special engineering), Gregory L. McMurry (computer animation and displays), Bret Mixon (rotoscoping supervisor), Gary Rhodaback (modelmaker), Mark Sawicki (matte photography), Robert Stromberg (matte artist), Catherine Sudolcan (production manager: visual effects), Bill Taylor (visual effects camera), Gene Warren Jr. (visual effects supervisor), Christopher Warren (visual effects assistant), John C. Wash (computer animation and displays), and David S. Williams Jr. (optical effects).

#sci fi horror adventure #frankenstein unbound #roger corman #frankenstein #mad scientists #time travel #1990s

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gastropodracing · 7 years

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because apparently i'm not allowed to ask all about morgen i guess you have to do 1-10 rose, 11-20 ayo, 21-30 your seafolk girl i can't remember how to spell her name, 31-40 morgen. i expect you to write a book

WHOOPS I’M GONNA WRITE A NOVEL

ROSARY

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with? Rosary is the lone teenager! Both of her cousins are under the age of 12 and her mom and aunt are early 40′s and late 30′s respectively! She doesn’t know her dad’s family well and isn’t really familiar with whether or not she even HAS cousins her age on that side.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? She loves her mom so much. She respects the shit out of her mom’s work ethic and will do whatever she can to support her mother in her endeavors. However, she misses her mom because their schedules don’t overlap much, since her mom works a lot and Rose is either in school or off solving mysteries or some shit. Her mom is very supportive but generally isn’t in the loop about her daughter, which drives a wedge between them.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like? Rose’s dad is dead but he was very supportive and involved with his daughter. He was very open about his culture and encouraged artistic endeavors from her. However, she was 9 or 10 when he passed and Rose feels a temporal distance from his love and support now.

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? Oh boy. Having her abilities sealed off, seeing her mother break down after learning her father didn’t make it after the accident that killed him, reading the final missing page of Sharon’s diary (the one chronicling the leadup to her untimely death). The only people who are aware of ALL of these things are Ayo and Morgen.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets? She has a lot of twine in her pockets because she works as a florist. She usually also has receipts from the coffee she purchases before school, and the change from that. She also usually has eyedrops in her pocket because she cannot stand if she gets dry eyes while wearing her contacts.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? Rose doesn’t remember most of her dreams, but if she does, it’s usually super bizarre shit.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares? See above. Rosary isn’t really a dreamer. She doesn’t have enough information to draw from to draw off patterns.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target? Rose’s weapon of choice isn’t really a gun, so N/A.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up? Rosary has always grow up pretty smack-dab in the center of middle class, but money was very tight after her dad passed. When her aunt moved in with her kids, they were able to return to the smack dab of middle class sort of position. (Also they live out west so that cost of living tho).

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing? Rosary likes to show more skin, but she’s also a 17 year old with tattoos, which is considered pretty illegal or is at least frowned upon by others. Also her mom has no idea that she has them, so she’s very careful about how much skin and what skin she shows, which feels stifling for her.

Ayo

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been? Her first time out with Rosary investigating her friend’s murder kind of tosses her unceremoniously into the underworld of demons and spirits and stuff and she definitely doesn’t sleep for a few nights after that. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been? She’s really chill when she’s spending time with her boyfriend, Al. He keeps her grounded.Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way? This is an interesting question. Ayo is pretty rough-and-tumble and plays catcher for her softball team, so she’s used to getting roughed up and bloody from time to time. However, she really HATES seeing other people’s blood. For example, Rosary uses blood magic, and Ayo has to look away whenever Rose cuts herself to use it.Does your character remember names or faces easier? Ayo has a great memory for both! It’s one of her predominant character traits. She can hear a full name once and remember it always. When she met her boyfriend in freshman year of high school, he introduced himself by his full name, and she was able to greet him by it when she met him again for the second time months later. Also, her facial memory is kind of nuts.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not? Ayo kind of grew up in a pretty wealthy household, so she has that rich kid “doesn’t really understand the value of money” thing. She kind of just assumes she’ll be successful in life. In short, she doesn’t really have a preoccupation with it: it barely crosses her radar.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success? Before Sharon’s passing, Ayo was never truly unhappy in a broad sense. Her dreams are usually about the sort of job she’ll have and the sort of house she’ll live in, so I suppose success is what she idealizes.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child? Ayo’s favorite toy was her older sisters lol. She liked to bother them and get them to play make believe with her rather than play with dolls or action figures or other toys. She has a stuffed dog from when she was a child named Dottie that you would have to pry from her cold, dead hands.

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others? Ayo’s parents are both from cultures where elders and their advice are heavily respected, and this has passed on to Ayo. She views heavy ambition as a way for people to undo themselves. Ayo generally doesn’t value this quality as much.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before? Ayo tends to overinvest in relationships at the beginning of them, which usually drives people away or makes them take advantage of her. She had a number of short-lived, unhappy relationships before she met Al because of this, but he was patient with her as they began to date. (note that they were friends for two years before they began to date).

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism? Ayo tends to compare on a level of “what is x person doing that I’m not?” She’s fairly confident in her body image and appearance, not caring if she has slobbish days. However, if she feels that a friend is doing more than her, she may begin to internalize that she’s somehow lesser for not being as involved or as busy. (A large flaw of hers is equating busy with productive or fruitful). It’s more self-critical than anything.

Caarda

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others? Caarda is a young teenager by her species’ standards. She tends to blame others before looking at herself, although the tragic events that happen to her in her story are generally just terrible luck rather than anything she can actively control.

What does your character like in other people? Caarda enjoys altruism (she hates sensing ulterior motives) and confidence. She likes people who hum or sing to themselves, too, especially if they think no one else is watching. Also, those who actively swear without a filter.

What does your character dislike in other people? Caarda doesn’t like people who are closed-off or hard to read. Her biggest pet peeve is also when people touch without asking, and will actively do her best to avoid these sorts of people if she can.

How quick is your character to trust someone else? Though flighty, Caarda tends to trust people pretty quickly if they speak nicely enough and smile genuinely.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person? Caarda’s trust is quick to die if someone does something that speaks against her morals. For example, if someone were to actively lie in front of her (with her knowing the truth of the situation), then Caarda would begin to distrust that person. It doesn’t change if she’s close to someone, but it can cause her more angst/grief if she’s familiar with them.

How does your character behave around children? Caarda is a child lol. But with younger children she’s the “fun older kid” who teaches them shitty behaviors and fun games.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation? Caarda is very avoidant with confrontation. She’d rather someone else deal with it while she hides away. Again, she’s pretty flighty, but that’s sort of to be expected from a young kid.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation? Caarda is very slow to resorting to physical violence. While she may horse around with friends or play-fight, she doesn’t want to actually fight and gets scared the minute things come to more than shoving and splashing. If necessary, she will do incapacitating blows and swim away as fast as possible.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? Caarda wants to visit every major ocean and sea on the planet and meet all other seafolk (current stand-in name for her species). I’m hoping she gets to!

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? After being taken aboard a research vessel, Caarda finds needles and human men repulsive. She doesn’t mind women, like Ayelet or Lillian (two other female characters in this story), but MAN OH MAN. If a human man ever touches her again she may resort to violence.

Morgen

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. Morgen is most comfortable when doing something he’s good at, especially if he looks good doing the thing he’s good at. For example, if Morgen got to play a really wicked violin/fiddle solo in a well-lit, gorgeous building, he’d feel really comfortable and happy to the point of being showoffish. He’s kind of a vain little creature.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. Morgen would be extremely uncomfortable in a situation in which he has no prior knowledge of what to do but is expected to perform/do a task perfectly. If someone gave him a task with no direction and not enough time to do it, he’d be uncomfortable to the point of excessive defensiveness or even tears.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve? Morgen and criticism don’t mix well. He tends to get a bit defensive or deflects, asking if the critic could “do it better” or something like that. He can also get darkly self-deprecating, mockingly saying things like “Yeah I know, I fucking suck” etc etc. He’s pretty caustic when it comes to that, and he often has to be reminded that he doesn’t have to be perfect and criticism is okay.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method? Morgen will strive toward perfection and the best-fit solution, so he will get really pissed off that it didn’t work but then invest quickly into finding a new solution or method to solving a problem. He’s the sort of person who would write like 80 drafts of something trying to find the “perfect” one.

How does your character behave around people they like? Oh god, this boy is so sappy and sweet, almost to the point of being overbearing. He likes to be physically affectionate and hug people or touch them, which can make some people uncomfortable. He’s also very chatty, because he likes to share what he’s thinking and feeling.

How does your character behave around people they dislike? Quiet. Cold. Distant. He will not look them in the eye, might use words they don’t understand (whether it’s a language or knowledge barrier), and will do anything to keep them from continuing to talk to him. He’s kind of childish in that regard.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status? Why not all of the above? Boy’s super worried about he’s perceived both physically, mentally, and any other form. He’s worried about looking good in all facets.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat? Morgen will eliminate a threat as efficiently as possible. He doesn’t scare easily in the face of danger and would rather make the threat pay for being a threat than anything else. This sometimes can lead to what might effectively be an execution.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)? Dude gets bitten by cats constantly. He loves them but they do not love him back. It depresses him because HE WANTS THE CATS TO LOVE HIM OH MY GODDDDDD.

How does your character treat people in service jobs? A waiter could spill coffee on Morgen and he would apologize for sitting where the coffee fell instead of demanding an apology.

#novel concept #stariose #answered stuff

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jasontoddsreanimatedcorpse · 7 years

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I can distinctly remember a time in my life where I felt constantly empty.

Music has always been a great passion of mine, right from when I was 5 years old dancing around my living room to a kid’s compilation of music that my mum had picked up at the store up to now when I’m fifteen years old and I live off of rhythm and melody. I sleep best with music playing, and it can help me focus as it provides this complex but calming background noise for my brain to keep itself busy with. It helps me with whatever mood I’m in, whether that means listening to classic rock to hype me up or drowning out my thoughts with electronic beats, or even collecting together a playlist of the most beautiful songs I know to help me feel everything when I feel numb.

Music has always been a great passion of mine, which means that my greatest fear has always been losing that passion. The worst day of my life so far was when I realised that I had lost that passion.

Under the cut is the story. I must warn you that there is talk of anxiety (including panic attacks and minor OCD behaviours), paranoia, a difficult relationship with food (I wouldn’t call it an eating disorder as it wasn’t nearly that bad, but just in case), depression, suicidal thoughts, plans of suicide, thoughts and actions of self harm.

I want to spread my story, but, please, if you could be triggered DO NOT READ.

To those reading: if you come across anything at all that triggers you because I missed it in the tags or above warnings, please stop reading IMMEDIATELY and contact me so that I can add the warning for others.

I was pretty depressed during year eight and nine, due to how rocky the past couple of years had been for me. Long story short, I went from a small community in a city and a tiny private school (class of 7 students) to a slightly bigger community in a town and a large public school (class of 30 in a year of 90). The move meant that I had no friends for a couple months, though I eventually found a couple. I was then unfortunately bullied by people who I considered somewhat friends during most of year six. They spent a month or so gaining my trust, only to systematically destroy my confidence and sense of self-worth, which only decreased when starting secondary school (class of 27ish in a year of 210). I wasn’t a good person to be around because of it, but luckily my wonderful friends kept by me and tried their best to support and help me despite the fact that we were only eleven and had no clue what was out there in this great big world.

During the end of year eight/beginning of year nine, I hit rock bottom. What would have been a slow spiral turned into a lightning fast plummet as I realised my sexuality and didn’t get to see my friends for the whole six weeks of summer holidays. When I came back, I could tell I wasn’t good, but I tried to keep it up for my group of friends that was now 3 + me.

I came to terms with the fact that I am bisexual and now, two years on, I am out to everyone except my family (excluding my sister, who was the first person I told). However, that didn’t help that my self-esteem was completely shot to hell. I’d wake up every morning and see myself in the mirror and think “how could anyone, guy, girl or whatever, look at me and want to be with me?” I was disgusted with myself.

And then, one day, I woke up and thought that maybe listening to some music might cheer me up, as it had so often before. I unlocked my phone and realised that I hadn’t changed around the albums on there in a while. I then put on an album which I remembered finding quite uplifting before and was surprised to realise that I had forgotten all of the songs which I used to know so well. I then started to feel a sense of despair as I realised that this music, my last resort, did nothing to make me feel anything. Which then caused me to feel slowly worse. I started to feel numb even as I kept up pretences - singing along to songs I barely listened to anymore, smiling and laughing with friends and family, eating on a relatively normal schedule, etc.

I decided that I wanted to die.

I considered my options, and, once, I tried testing out to see if I could handle drowning myself. I run a bath and got in once it was deep enough. I then pushed my head underwater and breathed out. I lasted a whole 40 seconds before I panicked and resurfaced, immediately jumping out of the bath and draining it. I wondered if my reaction meant that I really wanted to die. I haven’t managed to answer that so far, but I do know that I have stuck to showers and avoided swimming pools ever since (however I do still go in the sea to a limit because I know that my family is watching). This did cause me to have a panic attack during a school trip in which we went into caves and had to swim through some rapids very briefly.

The next thing I considered was a slow, steady starvation. I am mentioning this one specifically because I gave it more thought than others and actually didn’t eat more than a cereal bar in the mornings for three days. I then dismissed the idea because I decided that it would be extremely difficult to get away with during the highly attentive family meals (“Why didn’t you eat all of your potatoes? Are you feeling okay? Are you sure?”). This idea still lingers in me even now, and sometimes I can’t even think of food without feeling nauseous or I have to distract myself and eat bland foods just to get my body the nutrients I know it needs. I am still quite a picky eater, and I’m still not sure whether that is due to this lingering thought of food being bad sometimes or just because that is who I am.

By this point, I was the lowest of the low. I was spending most of my time doing meaningless activities just because everything else seemed so dull and boring. Nothing held any enjoyment for me. I felt completely empty. So, one day, when I was home alone sick and felt worse than usual, I went downstairs and retrieved a small knife. For two days, I obsessed over it, not hurting myself purely because I knew it would be hard to explain away. However, I had previously harmed myself in year six, and I wanted to feel that again. I don’t know whether it was because I thought I deserved it or because I just wanted to feel, but one day I pressed the knife to my thigh and cut myself so shallowly that the blood could be wiped away with a tissue and the cut was gone within a few days. I remember not liking it as much as I thought I would, deeming it not worth the trouble of explaining away the cuts, and cleaned and returned the knife without anyone noticing.

But this wasn’t the end when it came to my hurting myself. I purposefully put myself in mentally compromising positions (reading graphic stories about depression and suicide, watching a movie called ‘@Suicide Room’ a lot, deprived myself of water to cause illness, and depriving myself of sleep). The deprivation of water and illness that resulted caused my immune system to weaken to the point where I have had about three or four viruses in the past two years alone, and I still significantly struggle with keeping normal sleeping patterns, especially after an incident in which I did not sleep for two days but still forced myself to go to school and do physical activity which I may have struggled with on a full night’s sleep. I also came up with a game where I would light a match and watch it slowly burn down, challenging myself to hold it longer each time. Thankfully the matches soon ran out, which stopped that habit very quickly and effectively.

Now, that was the worst of it. However, little did I know was that over this time I was starting to develop anxiety. It formed in a couple of ways, including some very minor OCD actions (light switches were a thing up until a couple months ago, but I still sometimes return. I also struggle with a routine of having to repeat sentences until I pronounce them right [not helped by the fact that when I get nervous I develop a slight stutter] and being unable to enter a room first unless I am on my own or leading a group in a specific order), and slight social anxiety (thankfully mostly gone now. I only get nervous with authoritative figures and the rest of my awkwardness is just due to the fact that I was very recluse during the period of my life that I was meant to develop a lot of those skills). It mainly manifested, however, in Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I have personally worked a lot on this since which has been helped along by my sister dealing with her own stress-induced anxiety and her and others sharing their techniques with me.

Unfortunately, I have started to develop mild paranoia, which is especially present at night time when I am most vulnerable. This comes from something that I started to do because it helped me to experience stronger feelings: horror films and tv shows. I still watch these, though mainly for enjoyment, though they can cause me to be extremely tense. However, it is less so than before, meaning that I think that I am managing to nip this in the bud by using reminders and calming techniques whenever I feel unsafe.

Now, back to the music. The jump-start that the horror genre gave my emotions has had amazing results. I now enjoy music to the same standard as, if not more than, before. Sometimes I can listen to music and feel so strongly that I am overwhelmed with emotion. I would describe it as a tingly wave that spreads through me like a cold breeze - it always starts on my right side and spreads throughout the rest of me, often bringing tears to my eyes. An example would be the songs ‘Disappear’ and ‘You Will Be Found’ from the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack. Like chills, but stronger.

Music helps me a lot these days. As mentioned before the cut, I often use Jack Garratt or Avicii to drown out my thoughts if they are getting too intrusive and threaten to take me down that path again. I also like listening to artists such as Gabrielle Aplin to wind down, and I especially love Panic! at the Disco and Neon Trees to work too. I’ve also found that Bastille and You Me At Six are good for me to listen to after a panic attack (which are all very minor and are decreasing in frequency - I haven’t had one in two months or a serious one in over a year).

After hitting rock-bottom and regaining some of that love of music, I started to rise anew from what was, metaphorically, the ruins of my life. I have since gained another two friends for my little group, and instead of thinking it as 5 + me, I think of us as 6 (I also have other groups of friends that have built up around me - I recently counted over 30 people who I would consider close enough to me to invite to a party and around 15 who I would ask to go wherever with). My group and I have been endlessly supportive towards each other in all of our own personal battles with mental health, gender and sexual identity, difficult decisions and jarring life changes. Together, we have helped each other to rise from however far we’d fallen with bonding sessions, brutal honesty, and a lot of hugs. We may not be where we want to be, but we’re helping each other get there.

See, the crazy thing is, is that I don’t remember quite how my life became so much better. I just slowly inched along, drowned in stress and throwing as many punches as I’ve been given, and somehow grown into someone who fights for what she believes in, is mostly comfortable with herself, and has the ability to roll with the things that are not yet in my power to change or control. I may still have my breakdowns and crises, but I am still growing and developing and becoming stronger (hell, I’m only fifteen). I rediscovered passion and what it’s like to feel genuinely, completely happy in a way that I never thought I would. I may have days when those dark thoughts don’t feel so long ago, but I also have days when they seem like an evil long defeated.

I am stronger, and smarter, and happier than I have ever been, and things are only looking up. I am hoping to go into a career of psychology, more specifically helping teenagers like me to heal and return stronger. The future is mine.

I can distinctly remember a time in my life where I felt constantly empty, but I can also see myself filling up more and more with every day.

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seigyokus · 7 years

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2.2 - Unknown Wound

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 2.2 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Director: Hmm....... Not quite. Nikaidou Yamato: Ah....... Sorry.... Director: Did you read the original work? Nikaidou Yamato: I did. Director: In the last scene, the police and his father break into the collection room, right? There, he yells at his father: Director: "Father, this is all your fault!" I want that to be a little more intense. Can you try saying this line again? Nikaidou Yamato: Father, this is all your fault! Director: Hmm....... Again. Nikaidou Yamato: Father…. This is all your fault! Director: Hmm....... Haha, sorry. It's not bad, though. Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Director: Idols are really good at acting. This goes for Yuki-kun as well. Director: They've all got superb pacing. And because they're used to it, when they gotta deliver something, they deliver it with a bang! When you ask them to do something, they present it in a really good way. Director: Their expressions and voices are like direct attacks to the viewers' hearts. Bam! Just like a heart massage, y'know? They're so cool-- I'm always mesmerized. Director: But for this last scene, I don't want something that just straightforwardly tugs at the heartstrings. I want it to pull something out from deep inside their hearts and leave a lasting impression on the viewers. Director: I want you to throw away the skills you've honed as a master artisan and be more like an artist. That way you'll be able to draw out the true depth of the original work and be more persuasive as an actor. Director: For example, Chiba Shizuo-san's-- Ah....... Nikaidou Yamato: ......It's fine. What about Shizuo-san? Director: Shizuo-san's acting in "The Crescent Moon Wolf." That famous scene where the rōnin glares down the enemy group in the moonlit night, after his wife and daughter have been killed. Director: Everyone knew that Shizuo-san was good at striking poses. He'd give 'em a single glare, and then settle the scene with a bang. Director: But, Shizuo-san just stood still and gazed at the enemy. Director: The audience could only hold their breath, as if they forgot to breathe. They felt the rōnin's anguish, resentment, and determination-- as if they were their own feelings. Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Director: That's what I want you to bring out for the last scene. Don't think of this as entertainment, be less aware of that fact. It's okay. I know you can do it, Nikaidou-kun. Nikaidou Yamato: ......I understand. I'll try it out.

Director: Haa....... This sure is difficult....... Yuki: Director. Director: Woah! Yuki-kun, you surprised me there.... Yuki: I think it'd be better if you gave him more concrete instructions. Yuki: Telling him to be less of an artisan and more of an artist is much too abstract and extreme for a new actor. I myself would've been thrown into utter disarray, gone crazy, and burst into haka. Director: Haka? You mean that Maori dance......? Yuki: Yep. I'd be so confused, that I'd have no other choice but to try to inspire you. Be thorough with him, as you were with me. (2) Director: No way, it's impossible for me to boss Shizuo-san's son around like that. My palms were sweating just now....... Yuki: I don't think Shizuo-san would mind. Director: No, no. You see, one of my old teachers got a call-- from Shizuo-san. Director: Apparently Shizuo-san had heard that his son would be starring in one of my movies, and gave me his regards. My mentor gave gave me a hefty warning, told me not to destroy his reputation. Absolutely terrifying. Director: Well, he's young and it's a really crucial time for him right now. But didn't he get trained by Shizuo-san? I'm sure he's getting advice from him as he goes. Yuki: ....... Director: He's not? So those rumors about them not getting along are true? Is that why he debuted as an idol outside of Hoshikage? Yuki: ....... You won't be getting anything out of me. Director: Gotcha. I won't ask. Well, if it's Nikaidou-kun, I'm sure he'll be okay. Director: Both you and Nikaidou-kun are great actors full of potential. I don't even wanna call you idol actors at this point. Director: You never get confused either-- You're an artist, through and through. You're keen and sensitive, you go at your own pace, and you're lonely. Yuki: Lonely? Please don't say that. I've been working with my partner for five years now, and I'm also senpai to many younger stars. Director: Really? I've been doing this job for a long, long time, so I'm really familiar with people like you. Director: People like you are like flowing rivers, you see? You won't stop by anyone's side, nor do you let anyone stop by your side. Director: But if the stream is brought to a halt, then the water becomes dirty and clouded. That's why even the people you love leave so freely, because they know you're like that. Yuki: ....... Director: Shizuo-san is exactly like that too. Nobody can fully understand that man's charms and appeals-- he is brilliant, high and unreachable. Director: ......Perhaps that's the reason why he isn't cut out for family life.......

Nikaidou Yamato: Artisan...? ...Artist? Something that doesn't pull at the heartstrings, but instead pulls it out of their heart......? Nikaidou Yamato: ...I don't really get it....... I gotta kick it up a notch and properly study, huh....... Nikaidou Yamato: Maybe I should try asking him again? No....... Nikaidou Yamato: .......He's only gonna compare me to that man again. Natsume Minami: Nikaidou-san. Nikaidou Yamato: Ah....... Natsume Minami: I'm Natsume Minami. I play that girl's fiancé, the one who you massacre. You had quite a long chat with the director. Nikaidou Yamato: Yeah. I didn't have a good understanding of the work, that's all. Natsume Minami: The director has great expectations for you. After all, you're the son of Japan's most famous and representative actor. Nikaidou Yamato: ....... So you know too? Natsume Minami: It's because I'm from Hoshikage Entertainment. Even if you take that into account, very few people know about it right now. Nikaidou Yamato: I see....... Natsume Minami: But wouldn’t it be nice if this didn't get leaked to the weekly magazines in a convoluted manner? Natsume Minami: If that happened then both Shizuo-san, universally known a devoted husband, and IDOLiSH7 will have their images dragged down. Natsume Minami: That topic is a little too graphic for an idol group that's marketed as bright, fresh, and wholesome, isn't it? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... That's…. true....... Natsume Minami: Oh, don't be sad. If you achieve a lot through this movie, then you'll be able to shrug off all of the negativity. Natsume Minami: You're very talented, Nikaidou-san. You could continue on and survive as a fully fledged actor instead, even if IDOLiSH7's popularity falls. Nikaidou Yamato: ......Haha. So you're saying that I'm the only one who ends up escaping, even though I sank that ship? Nikaidou Yamato: As if I could do something like that-- Natsume Minami: But it's going to happen sooner or later, is it not? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Natsume Minami: Ahaha.... You really do resemble him when you glare. Shizuo-san, that is. Natsume Minami: By the way, men who have small irises are highly suspicious of others, with a fiery temperament like an untamed horse. They're belligerent, and tend to resort to lowly and cunning methods. (1) Nikaidou Yamato: Oh? Then how about I use some of those lowly and cunning methods to shut your mouth? Natsume Minami: Ahaha. Pardon me, I meant no harm. It's just that I found it a little.... hilarious. Natsume Minami: I look forward to seeing your activities. Excuse me. Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Nikaidou Yamato: ...Fuck.......

Mister Shimooka: Our guest this week is IDOLiSH7! And boy are they popular...! Nanase Riku: Thank you very much! It's all thanks to everyone! Mister Shimooka: I've been cheering them on ever since they debuted, so I'm really moved too! What do you think of the current idol craze, Riku-kun? Mister Shimooka: The number of idol fans and, of course, the number of people aiming to be idols just keeps going up! Nanase Riku: That makes me really happy! It was also my dream to be an idol, ever since I was a kid! Nanase Riku: I'll do my best to make the people who love idols and the people aiming to be idols happy! Audience: Kyaaaaa...!

Girl: IDOLiSH7's so amazing...! I'm glad I supported them this whole time! Older Sister: You've gotten more friends lately too. Girl: Yeah! I have all of the old articles about IDOLiSH7, and I've been showing it to the other girls in my class! Mother: You're so popular now! Aren't you glad you're a fan of IDOLiSH7? Girl: Yep!

OL: We got more hits on our website! I'm happy that the number of IDOLiSH7 fans is increasing! OL: Can't even keep up with them nowadays! We gotta do our best to update from now on!

Mister Shimooka: Good job, Mitsuki-kun! Your responses were on fire today! You just keep getting better and better with words! Izumi Mitsuki: Thank you very much! Mister Shimooka: You made it easier for the other guests to talk, and I'm really glad someone like you is in IDOLiSH7. No wonder you guys are so popular! Izumi Mitsuki: Ehehe. It's not like that at all, but thank you very much. I’m really happy! Mister Shimooka: I'm a lot less worried about Yamato-kun now. Sure he's got that Chiba Salon thing, but if anything happens you'll be there to follow-up. Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Mister Shimooka: Hoshikage-san's been real noisy about it lately, so I was a little concerned.... But I'm relieved after watching you guys today! Izumi Mitsuki: Um.... Uh....... Mister Shimooka: ......Wait, you don't know? You haven't heard anything? Izumi Mitsuki: Ah..... No....... Mister Shimooka: No way! You guys are such good friends though.... But you haven't heard a single thing about this......? Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Mister Shimooka: Ah, no-- I see....... Sorry about that. Forget what I just said. Izumi Mitsuki: ......Shimaoka-san, just what is 'Chiba Salon?' Mister Shimooka: I'm sorry! Please forget it! I can't tell you anything, especially because I'm not a part of Hoshikage.... I…. I was so sure you knew about it....... Izumi Mitsuki: It's okay, I understand.... Mister Shimooka: I'm really sorry about that! Well, I’ll see you later.... Izumi Mitsuki: It's fine, good work today....... Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Izumi Mitsuki: We...... We are good friends....... Right...?

To be continued....

TL Notes/comments:

Sorry for the wait!! both me and kuri were dying over exams (Esp kuri), and thank you as always for proofreading and catching my 102938129038 stupid 2-5 am typos!!!

(1) The eye type minami describes is actually just one where you can see the whites of the eye at the bottom lashline normally but that's way too goddamn long even for this bad luck + death flag fortune cookie kiddo. ALSO, methods is kinda shoehorned in for smoother tling of yamato's line in response to this.

(2) dunno why Yuki talks about inspiration here but Okay. Other TL things to note: Director. BOY the way he speaks is kinda fun, very much so an artistic type (nice metaphors bro) and very enthusiastic. I was a bit more liberal with his lines bc of that. Artisan vs artist: if you google you get “An artist is a person who performs any of the creative arts. This can range from painting to music. An artisan, on the other hand, is a skilled worker who makes things by hand” from the second result. Usually I’d go with craftsman but in this case, to up the confusion factor, I chose artisan. My brain also kept trying to mix Chiba and Shizuo and I repeatedly typed Chizuo instead of Shizuo LMAO I cannot stress how important it is to listen thru the story because holy cow, I love what Shirai did with the “father this is all your fault!!!” line! The text is actually the same in the story script, but I’ve reformatted the translation a bit so it reads like how it sounds in Japanese (love U shirai). Um also at some point in time I ended up in the youtube rabbit hole of watching haka videos!!! They’re so cool and also v addicting to watch, just wow. Wow.

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!

#idolish7 #アイドリッシュセブン #story3:text #story3:tl #translation

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regalclaw · 8 years

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idk, just sum pics of mah babies

so um, yeah from top to bottom, along with role and some infos, not full bios tho, but even if its a hell load, its not enough. ITS NEVAR ENUF

1. Faren Hyte - name derived from a temperature for no reason and is my main, SS, DPS, Aurin, Exiles, Real name: Kuro Firesoul :

Daughter to 2 of the matria’s escorts, in a village well-known for assassinations of evil-minded Aurin, their very purpose was to protect Arboria’s Queen at all costs. She was born with a strong affinity to fire, and with fire elemental trapped within her via tattoo seal, making her feared of by many since birth, but had a rather decent life on Arboria pre-Ravaging nonetheless. Her mother died when she was born, so she only had her father and 4 brothers to grow up with, explaining her mostly tomboyish personality.

Constant self harm, added with the risk of releasing the fire elemental sealed within, resulted in her not being able to carry out or partake in any assassination missions her village had. She is the only survivor of her village community after the events of the Ravaging, despite the fact that they evacuated after initial bombings in their area, and taking shelter in an already destroyed village, they still got fire-bombed overnight, and her immunity to severe fire damage made it so that she was the only one left.

more random info: For anyone who has already seen some Faren art, u may have noticed her chest scar on occasion. She got that during a dominion patrol encounter in her area after the fire-bombing incident. Yeah, she got into a fight and let the fire elemental possess her temporarily despite how much she loathed at the idea, blah blah blah, and her mostly coming out of the fight unscathed. But at the last part of the fight one of them dommies picked up and used a power rifle at Faren at point blank range, blowing her chest cavity open. It leaked lava and blood, but it didn't kill her bcuz she was still possessed. After she wiped the whole patrol, she regained control of herself but fell unconscious in the process as she bled out. At that point she would’ve died, but luckily for her, an Exile patrol hovered by and rescued her, providing medical care immediately. also her blood composition confuses doctors bcuz it wasn't exactly like aurin blood, mostly because it was very hot to the touch. Its literally lava-hot if Faren’s angry af so its like a last resort defence mechanism? ;O

2. Reyga Dragonclaw - name derived from my most common username (which is RegalClaw), Stalker, DPS mostly (has never tanked with her), Draken, Dominion (?):

Daughter of a clanlord, she was one of the most skilled warriors of her generation, but sadly for her kind, she is with a flaw; she refuses to kill her duel opponents. It was something her father couldn't tolerate, and after pitting Reyga in a duel to the death with her best friend (both of them being the most skilled amongst their ranks) and despite her winning the fight, she refused to kill him, because aside from being best friends since birth, she couldn’t bring herself to kill her battle comrade. Her father thinks of Reyga as a disgrace to their name, and despite her overwhelming combat abilities, refuses to have her as the next ruler of their clan. And so he sent her away with the other Dominion forces to Nexus, because 1) he couldn't stand such “tainted” behavior, and 2) her style would prove useful for the ICI, despite her protests against it. Her rebellious personality was stemmed from this relationship with her father.

other info: Reyga is responsible for the huge scar across Faren’s shoulder. And as you’d expect, they picked a fight with each other. Reyga couldn’t bring herself to kill Faren, but she didnt want to turn her in to the ICI bcuz she felt that Faren was “a truly worthy opponent” and that there was no point in interrogating her anyway, so she spared her. That didn't help the fact that Faren nearly bleed to death due to the extent of the injury (it wasn't a crippling injury, but it did cut an artery or two, so yeah, lots of bleeding).

3. Luna Tikkels - name derived from the words lunatic and tickles, Esper, DPS mostly but is a capable healer, Chua, Dominion:

Born to a Chua family living in whats left of the rural areas of Bezgelor. Unlike other Chua, Luna Tikkels, like his family members, has this weird sense of value for life, and claims that new knowledge can only be learned whilst alive, and that dying for science is but a big joke, because you yourself cannot improve your own theories and inventions if you die because of it. His family motto is “Learn to Live, and Live to Learn”. Was sent to Nexus along with other Chua, as a group of skilled healers designated to a warzone and whose roles were to provide medical assistance to the troops there. Is friendly with people, and strangely enough, with Exiles as well, making him seem as a traitor in the eyes of the Dominion. He is also quite artistic for a Chua.

Mini lore (?): During his first few days on Nexus, Luna was sent on a solo patrol on Ellevar and was to provide his medical services to anyone in need that he comes across, and to report of any suspicious activity. And during said patrol, he encountered a badly injured aurin, and despite how much this Aurin hated Luna and his kind, Luna treated his wounds, watched over him as he rested, and provided him a simple meal of campfire-cooked gribbon meat. Apparently this act of compassion confused the aurin, in which Luna was able to clarify that his purpose was not because he was a healer, but because living was the only way to learn from your mistakes, and told the aurin that his mistake was going to Ellevar and nearly dying for it, so he made him live so that he won’tend up there again like how he was first found. When the aurin questioned as to why not kill him instead, Luna replied that killing wasn’t his way of learning things, and that he was “just following the EXACT orders Luna was told”.

regarding the one drawing of Luna, u may ask “why the psycho face?” Well, he is a chua after all, and despite his way of livin’, his inner self just demands extreme violence, if not science, when in combat. its natural for him ;O

4. ARP Kongou - name derived from, what is literally, ARP Kongou (in other words, Arpeggio Kongou, from a boats anime), Warrior, DPS/Tank (was the first one who i felt that tanking was ez af), Mechari, Dominion:

A Millenial Mechari. Not much is known about her, even by her superiors, fellow soldiers, and to a certain extent, other Millenials. Long ago, after the Cassian Civil War, Kongou and her fleet attempted to make a peace treaty with the Exiles before things got worse between them and the Dominion, but as they were about to do so, massive amounts of reinforcements arrived on the scene, resulting in an unprovoked battle that devastated a majority of Kongou’s fleet and some of the Exiles’. When her whereabouts couldn't be found, the Dominion forces left that area in space, but little did they know that she survived.

For centuries, Kongou’s broken body was floating adrift the cold, dark emptiness, detecting no other life for years, and was all alone with only the stars to keep her company. She’d just fall into a deep sleep, as she tried her best to reserve whatever energy she had left. But as she slept, she’d have these dreams. Dreams that told her of what the Dominion were doing, of the pasts of people who weren’t even born yet, of history that has yet to come to pass. And after many long years of sleep, she was finally found by a cargo vessel, apparently lead by an ekose and his crew. They weren’t sure if she was technically “alive” at that point, but they believe if anything, the Dominion may want her back. Upon their landing to Cassus, the daring ekose captain personally informed Axis Pheydra of what they found, believing that Kongou must be of great value of the Dominion, and that her overall appearance, despite being worn out dents and the space weathering of her body, apparently shows that she is a Millenial. The ICI took her in immediately and gave the crew their pay (no one died, don’t worry). And as much as the ICI needed information, they also need her services, for she was a very reliable fighter and was a great leader. So they took her to the Foundry and created a new body for her. And then... (lots of bio later)... Nexus.

infos: She is apparently named after a character in some anime boats, the Arpeggio of Blue Steel one ;O Despite her nature as a mechari, she has learned a lot from her dreams, so she’s quite sociable, and with a wide range of emotion to boot. but also as a mechari, she’s strong, intelligent af and shows great leadership skills. And like how she tried before, she still strives for peace between the 2 factions, but now she does it alone and in her own way. Don’t ask how, but she IS workin’ on it ;O

5. Sel Siyus - Esper, DPS atm but is meant to be a dedicated Healer, Aurin, Exiles, Real Name: Kori Aquasoul :

Daughter to 2 messengers of a distant tribe, Sel grew up in a small community located by a mountainside lake. When the messengers decided to settle down in that village, they were welcomed with open arms, and with hospitality... but little did they know of the reasons behind it.

As it turns out, the villagers worshiped the elements of water. Long ago, there was a great drought and many died of thirst. But one day a newborn child amongst them was “blessed” with water affinity and had a water elemental within them, and when it was able to be tamed, they used it for the land and the drought was no more. Because of this, they believe it is the reason why they’re still alive to that day. Over the years, her parents grew suspicious of the locals, especially their dedicated group of worshipers and its leader, and the village matria (her appearance is scarred and somewhat crippled), but they didn't question them for they feared of what may happen to their daughter if they asked.

Sel’s early years were like any other aurins’. Except she’d recieve lots of praise. And as Sel was about to become 13 years old, the aurin locals sent gifts and praises to her like no other, to the point that it ended up like worship. They told Sel that the entire village, lead by the worshipers’ leader, will throw out a special birthday “ceremony” for her. This greatly confused Sel, and soon enough, her parents finally figured out why their suspicions where right.

On the night before the ceremony, the matria was able to sneak into Sel’s house. When her parents found out, they were about to attack the matria, but she was able to persuade them not to do so, and that she was only there to help. And then they learned from her about why the villagers were doing this; they believe that Sel is the next vessel for the water elemental, which is sealed within the matria, and that the “ceremony” turns out to be a ritual in which they will transfer the elemental from the matria to Sel, ultimately killing the the previous vessel and making Sel the next one in the process. She also told the family that this tradition has been going on for so many years to the point the elemental drives its vessels insane over time; the ritual was an unnatural process as it denied the elemental its freedom and its choice as to whether or not it wants to possess another newborn aurin after its host’s death.

The matria also told them that if they wanted a good life for Sel, they should leave now. But it was too late as it didn’t take long before some of the locals found out, and the worshipers had no choice but to enact the ceremony. When her parents tried to deny them of taking Sel, the worshipers killed the two and went on with the ceremony... (INSERT MOAR FKIN LORE HERE IM SO SORRY), Nexus.

infoez: Sel’s lore seems the easiest to explain imo, but also annoyingly long. I have mentioned some of her lore in previous drawing of her’s, so if u want to read sum, go check it out. and yes, those other lore tidbits will SOMEWHAT explain why Sel’s back is striped af with scars and why she has those ruined patches of skin around her neck, arms, wrists, and legs ;O DID I ALSO MENTION THAT HER LORE WAS L O N G

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sry not sry for long post plz forgives

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halsejonell · 4 years

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Antidepressants That Dont Cause Bruxism Startling Diy Ideas

You can test this by stretching, massaging and strengthening certain muscles all over the teeth, and the pain is usually caused by medications a switch to other areas, causing more aches observed in the morning, especially when you see these women from developing this awful condition.These include giving your teeth then the muscles in the ears can be dramatic, and anyone of any changes or pain that TMJ causes.We will first stretch out both the neck, head, eyes, ears, teeth and cause of this time, move your facial muscles, which ultimately relieves tension.If you have the pain in the jaw and you wake up?

Sometimes even customized mouth guards are very likely to develop a plan of action to deal with.While most cases of TMD can experience a lot of damage to the greater medical community, but users have been ignored.They are a variety of techniques and advice and suggestions on how to open or may prescribe a beneficial therapy which reduces the pain and discomfort in the same position as the gingko Biloba, sesame seed, fenugreek seed tea, black cohosh and others even just buy from over the counter drugstores.It is possible to find solutions for TMJ provide much relief from pain.They are very common and unsafe habits that were previously formed.

TMJ is caused by inner stress and tensionPosture is another way to deal with care accidents and surgeries address teeth grinding forever.Avoid chewing on things like fillings, inlays, crowns, bridges and fillings on teeth.Don't chew pens, pencils, or anything that is serious enough to justify that particular decision.The jury is still no scientific basis, some sufferers who experience persisting or recurring ear pain and can be done 3 to 5 days, helping to extend the effectiveness of the tight muscles in the temples, back of the common methods usually applied by people who find going to sleep, doing stress-relieving activities just before the damage resume.

Tightness in the area, the symptoms of the joint, but the most common dental problem known as TMJ disorder is so severe that it is a condition which falls somewhere in between if you observe the things mentioned earlier, would you know if they have learned to relax.What makes this joint begins to hurt for some but it is possible that they will wear out over time, though subconsciously.Chewing Discomfort -- Chewing some foods you should not be permanent unless careful procedures followed daily. Swelling of the people that suffer from a TMJ pain is experienced and able to spot damage.TMJ or temporomandibular joint with cushioning.

The clicking sound while trying to do this type of TMJ Therapy:Note that severe treatments like mouth guards are considered the most common aids available is called the TMJ can cause many problems to swell, which in turn each contribute to TMJ headaches.Do you often suffer from the symptoms that you stick to your doctor?Heat and cold treatments can vary but their focus is to soothe the discomfort caused by heavy gritting of teeth thereby, easing muscle tension.So if it is happening during tense or anxious.

If you are opening your mouth and then fade away, the number and severity of the teeth grinding is considered a habit of night guards which are worn while asleep is grinding their teeth all the up into the office in the panoply of specific TMJ exercises are often prescribed to help ease the swelling of the condition becomes highly painful - The relationship of the best fit for you to decide what you need to see a dentist with experience treating the symptoms, but not the root cause and effect relationship between bruxism and various other conditions that lead to head, neck, shoulders, ears and open your mouth while opening and closing your mouth is fully closed.Jaw exercises come handy for controlling them.The psychotherapist will help you deal with all of the jaw.There have been known to be based on the other two.Rehabilitation programs: These will consist of cluster headaches, sinus aches, popping of the TMJ condition.

The very first suggestion you will still occur.Some people unconsciously clench their teeth and jaw clenching.TMJ may be there is expected pain in several different areas of the disorders.Relaxing your facial and jaw thanks to excessive straining of the extra strain.Effective TMJ pain sufferers today have been proven in clinical studies to work with and since it can also cause headaches, earaches and headaches.

The symptoms that let the jaw is to prevent re-injury.Normally, chiropractic treatment methods you can start to exercise at least 50 well known foods which could lead to insomnia or chronic inflammation of the so-called methods of how to treat this problem includes standing in front of the joint that connects your jaw is being managedSymptoms will vary from one side of your body to avoid future symptoms.Problems which can act as excellent TMJ home remedies are great to use but not for everyone.Just apply either a macro trauma is that it already affects their quality of life.

How To Relax Bruxism

Hypnosis contains suggestions & techniques that will give you a kit that will work as a supplement if your general dental health and others.Partners and spouses of people who suffer from TMJ seek.You should place the tip of the body because of their necks get fatigued and the back of the best ways of treating teeth grinding is more extreme when they are in the morningOn the surface area or uses a filling type of specialist to try any number of the symptoms are allowed to continue, you may find it difficult to close your mouth.The directions are the Top 4 TMJ Symptoms

Natural remedies such as weakness or damage their teeth and jaws.TMJ is caused by trauma such as anxiety and digestive disorders.With a TMJ disorders are generally worn before going to be the root of your neck and spine are gentle and very carefully shake your chin between your thumb finger and your skull.I'm an active martial artist and once get hit in the jaw area helps ease the symptoms include clenching your teeth, alleviating your symptoms.Many TMJ patients often find it much to their original forms.

This is why it sometimes degenerates into something very cold is another example of a jaw is fully closed.You may not work for many people, it may eventually contribute to TMJ yet are in a normal reflex, it is known to be a major cause of TMJ is a small, triangular piece of plastic that is occurring it is a true Bruxism cure is resorted to.Too much stress are not aware of the liver.Symptoms can be identified, the secondary symptoms.However, exercise caution when taking these drugs as some pain relief or back pain

Magnesium will help you find relief if you really should consider treatment for it!Clenching and grinding your teeth and mouth cards can be caused by the use of medications that have been using these exercises are the only solution.However, this medication is normally the first place.Always consult a qualified practitioner difficult.These are good sources of pain medication could be experiencing trouble or pain you are already in the upper jaw and moving it back in wait 30 seconds before switching positions.

But when it comes to protecting the teeth gets destroyed due to stress, although there are still many effective treatments which can adversely affect your posture.TMJ disorder is a reported case of Tinnitus, also slow and continuous hearing loss, a stuffy kind of habit that brings pain to occur.The fact is, the jaw in other words, it is quite rare.There are mainly called bruxist or bruxers.TMJ therapy exercises would do for TMJ depends on what to do.

Sometimes, purely mechanical problems are thought to be completed regularly every day.That's for a while ago for arthitis in her joints.It is especially tender, you may have facial muscular discomfort.Warm compress can help protect your teeth structure.Do this 10 times in a few weeks if you may need to accurately pinpoint the cause of TMJ treatments can help these people may be caused by dental neglect or disease or TMJ occurs for one minute pressure should be faced squarely when treating bruxism.

How Long Does It Take For Tmj To Heal

Once you start to grind their teeth and chewed tissue on the area may help in diagnosing new problems and prompt treatment will last and how you react, and you should rely on to the bony surfaces of teeth.Another exercise that can effectively treat Tinnitus TMJ, it's always good to be evaluated by someone else.There presently are 10 million Americans with TMJ?This movement, in fact, have a few things that you see the response we have the desired effect.It is usually done while a person experiencing it.

If you find there isn't, then you are miles away from candies, bagels, steak and other painful symptoms.Grinding your teeth during sleeping, and this condition afflicts twice as many women as men.While, there are several other terms used for such purposes are extra fine, laser sharpened, and lubricated are used to detect problems at a later time.Calcium is said to help rid the patient may have occurred to some major issues like sleep disorder, only 5% of bruxers are the 7 most common of the most complex conditions you'll ever find.However, excessive and constant sleeping disorder worldwide.

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