#‘but I can’t afford commissions’ NOBODY CAN!!!!

[deeplord]

If u use AI art and ur anything but an artist using it as a minor tool literally fuck you and stop. Imagine showing an ai generated art to someone and being like “this is my oc” and it’s so OBVIOUSLY ai bc it always is. That’s so embarrassing for you. I would drop dead of cringe. You don’t NEED art of ur characters. Use face claims and descriptors and aesthetic boards. Edit pics in one of the billion free apps on your phone. Use models. Hero forge. Picrew. Sims 4, dragons dogma or saints row 4 character creators - ALL FREE. Learn to draw yourself in a $1 notebook from dollar general. A mash of reference photos. All that time you spend typing trying to get the perfect prompt to rip off the perfect mash of real artists to get something that vaguely resembles your character in glassy anime baby face form could be spent in a much more accurate, descriptive avenue that isn’t utterly morally bankrupt.

It’s not fucking hard. No excuses. Zero.

[razorblade180]

Home improvement

[Sumeru Tavern]

Dori:Aether! Have you seen Kaveh? It’s time for me to collect.

Aether:Uuuuhh-

Dori:Stop! You’ve said enough. That alone told me he’s here and told you to say “You didn’t see me.” Let me guess, men’s room?

Aether:….Am I allowed to speak know?

Dori: *sighs* To think a day early on payment has him shaking. I’d collect tomorrow but I have to go on a trip. Kaveh is an intelligent person. I know he’s saved the appropriate amount after his recent commission. What could be the hold up?

Aether:I think anyone would be slightly scared of the person who made them sell their home.

Dori:Kaveh is homeless?

Aether:What?

Dori:What?

………

Aether:Didn’t you…overprice Kaveh or something?

Dori:Overpri- KAVEH! YOU HAVE THREE-

The man already walks out before she could finish that probably real threat.

Kaveh:Stop shouting. You’ll cause a scene! Anyways I still have to cash in-

Dori:Do you have people believing I put you out of a home?

Kaveh:What? I never said that. The project crippled my finances and I owe you money but I never really said…hmm *rubs chin* Okay, I can see how that impression was made.

Dori:Kaveh! That’s slander!

Aether:Wait, Dori didn’t bankrupt you? I heard you had buy a bunch of stuff with your own expenses.

Dori:*slowly turns*…

Kaveh:Who told you that? The situation is more complicated than that. *rubs head* I guess that might be my problem. I tend to avoid topics about my living situation so someone got the wrong impression.

Aether:(Or you were drunk…)

Dori:I commissioned and paid for his work, like I was supposed to. How would I scam a person when I’m the consumer and could afford it!?

Aether:To be fair, you’d find a way.

Dori:Yeah, with haggling! That’s fair game and once again, I’m the consumer. Nobody knows a good deal like I know a good deal. I also know I wasn’t a fan of the location Kaveh wanted for my original house!

Kaveh:The cliff side was a gorgeous backdrop and you would’ve loved it!

Dori:It literally could’ve been anywhere and you insisted on the place that not only you liked, but The Withering loved!

Aether: Original house? It was ruined by The Withering!?

Kaveh:Roughly 70% in fact…

Dori:My hard earned mora, completely wasted! All the resources I bought were no longer good and my palace became a dream I was content with abandoning. I neither cared about it being built nor did I ask you to compensate me for it.

Aether:Wouldn’t have counted as a natural disaster?

Dori:An avoidable one if he had listened, but I let the artist have his way after obsessive insisting. Regardless, I was ready to wipe my hands of the situation, but it was Kaveh who couldn’t let it go!

Kaveh: Your alace is my Magnum Opus; the pinochle of my efforts in physical form. There’s no way any self respecting artist would let that go unfinished!

Aether:*eyes widened* So you paid out of pocket to redo it!?

Dori:Oh no, dear Kaveh did more than that. Like any crazy scholar graduate, he paid for the things he wanted, then pleaded for me to cover the rest of the finances he couldn’t afford in this project I had lost time, money, and interest in.

Aether:….Kaveh.

Kaveh:What!?

Dori:However, I’ll hand him a bit of credit. Despite the fact he was clearly doing this to satisfy his own ideals, I can respect a individual not willing to buckle for them. So yes, I paid the remaining costs of his pride, but not for free.

Aether:So that’s the debt. I can’t even say you got away with a free house, because you didn’t.

Dori:I’m a good talker, but nobody is that good. Anyways, it’s not like I didn’t give him anything worthless. Being your benefactor has introduced you to a several recommendations and work. Knowing you, it probably isn’t stable income because you continue to spend for your dream.

Kaveh:That’s…complicated as well. Putting that aside, I’m not advertising my situation and didn’t go spreading around false accusations.

Dori:Of course. You’re not the type. You would however make a complete mess out of a simple situation. I could refer you to a very savvy financial advisor if you’re-

Kaveh:Not a chance. It’s either you or a book of common sense.

Dori:And just like that, you’re a little sharper. Well I business to attend to. Kaveh, there’s a job regarding a fountain you may want when I get back. Until then, might as well enjoy a meal with Aether. He’s actually eating for free. *walks away*

Aether:(I am?)

Kaveh:*sits down* Sometimes I really can’t deal that woman. I’m drained! So, I can order anything?

Aether:Uh, knock yourself out. Get leftovers if you want. (She didn’t even mention the bill again. Maybe because she’s actually a day early?)

He glances towards the tavern owner as they take a bag of mora from Dori. Guess she has tab here and today it was used.

Aether:(Guess I shouldn’t be surprised, given her discounts for me and her past- oh!) Kaveh, question. So clearly not everyone knows the extent of situation properly, yet you still work with Dori despite the drama.

Kaveh:No matter how you look at it, I could only build my dream because of her. She’s one of the few clients that allows nearly complete artistic freedom. I’ll always grateful for that. I just wished she cared about more than money!

Aether:….So why didn’t you just offer your future services for dirt cheap in exchange for living in the palace as a way of managing your debt, having a home, and keeping an eye on your art.

Kaveh:…..

Aether:It never crossed your mind, did it?

Kaveh:*puts head on table*

Aether:Hey Boss, give this man your finest wine!

[nbwriteschaos]

re: writing commissions.

---- my writing commissions are OPEN! all info can be found within this post or in this google doc. please dm for any inquiry or request!!

!!!fiction, nonfiction, original works, smut, etc!!!

1 thousand words ♡ $10 USD

2 thousand words ♡ $12 USD

3 thousand words ♡ $15 USD

4 thousand words ♡ $20 USD

5 thousand to 10 thousand words ♡ starts at $25 USD

---- all payments are processed through paypal only. payments must be submitted first before i begin the commission. refunds are not available but i will rewrite a commission if you are not satisfied :)

more below ...

(this may format a little funny as i'm copying and pasting some info from my doc, sorry!!)

-- as for pricing

((I do not accept negotiations as far as pricing! I’ve priced my commissions based on what I think my time and effort is worth while also maintaining affordability. There are to be NO REFUNDS.  If you are unsatisfied with the result of your commission I am open to rewriting it once more to ensure your satisfaction. All payments are accepted through Paypal. I am working on opening some sort of website to provide the best experience for commissions as well, but for now, Paypal and Tumblr are the best I’ve got. 

Please let it be noted that although I am an experienced writer, I do not have the qualifications of a professional published author. I am simply a person at their laptop trying to build a future career as a writer :)

You will not be charged if I go over your paid word count!!

Custom word counts between 5k and 10k will be charged based on how I see fit. **It will not go over $60 USD** ))

-- as for boundaries

i will write mostly anything. even if it seems a little questionable, i'll probably do it. for example:

a super sad angsty character death probably nobody but yourself would want to read, that one coffee shop/tattoo artist au you've been wanting to read but can't find on ao3, or like, idk, a fantasy involving d*bcon, f*rry, p*ssplay, whump/whumpee, mpr*g, terat*philia (monster fucking), obscure s*xual organs, g*re (ask me about this one if you are looking for smut involving g*re), v*yeurism, size differences, or other common k*nks.

i do request some sort of age verification if you are commissioning for smut.

strict NOs:

No extreme depictions of SH or s*icide. No animal a*use, death or g*re. Nothing depicting extreme homophobia or transphobia. No politics or opinion-based pieces of writing. No depictions of child or adult a*use of any kind. No extreme drug use. No underage, fe*derism, sc*t/f*rts/underarms/feet/sneezing, be*stiality, n*ncon, age pl*y/massive age difference, inc*st.

i have a right to deny any commission for any reason!

-- as for fandoms

I can and will attempt to write for any fandom I am not familiar with so long as there is enough info that has been provided for it!! However, I can’t guarantee it will be perfect. Here are fandoms I am familiar with and will write for: 

Anime/Cartoons: Genshin Impact, My Hero Academia, Tokyo Ghoul, Toilet Bound Hanako Kun, Fullmetal Alchemist, Death Note, Chainsaw Man, Spy x Family, Jujutsu Kaisen, My Melody, Free!!!, Haikyuu!!!, One Punch Man, Mob Psycho 100, Demon Slayer, Hunter x Hunter, JJBA, Black Butler, Bungou Stray Dogs, Yuri on Ice, Kakegurui, Attack on Titan, Noragami, Adventure Time, Steven Universe. Probably more, just ask! 

Books: The Raven Cycle, The Dreamer Trilogy, Simon Snow Trilogy, The Foxhole Court series. Monstrous Series. Anything more obscure check out my Goodreads profile!! 

I am 100% down to write your original characters and plots!! In fact, I encourage it! For maximum accuracy, please provide as much information as you can for each character, plot, setting, etc! 

if you have any other questions feel free to send a DM or an ask and i'll get back to you as soon as possible! you can also check out the doc to see if it is answered there!

if you read this far, please feel free to reblog just to spread the love. i'd really appreciate it! thank you!!!

[lifeismarvelous]

heyo meta, saw you're having a rough time of it lately and just wanted to say that I care about you. I know how awful a depressive episode can feel and how it can tear you apart from the inside, but I just wanted to say that I do indeed care about you, and whilst I may not know exactly what you're going through, I believe in you and I'll be here to help you get through it <3 ps: have a kris plush

It’s just the usual thoughts of feeling worthless, useless, good for nothing, pathetic, and also having huge body dysphoria… and sometimes I feel like I’m being ignored by people and feel like what I say and do won’t reach out to them… like everything I make and everything I do has no value and like my efforts aren’t worth it

I’ve been wanting to go to therapy but I can’t even afford that right now .. and I REALLY hope to one day see a doctor and talk about me wanting to transition n stuff.. I’m just really glad I even have a good job right now, I’m starting to work every Saturday at my aunt’s restaurant and I actually really enjoy working there

Nobody is commissioning me and it makes me think no one wants my art.. that’s why I struggle to see any value in the stuff I make . .

[clueingforbeggs]

Actually, I’ve noticed that Tumblr, the internet at large, probably, too, has a problem of people being ‘anti’ something, without actually knowing what they are ‘anti’

I’m just thinking about that post about an AI thing that was helping to prevent art theft and people were going ‘I can’t believe they made an anti AI AI!’ As if AI stands for Art Itheft not Artificial Intelligence.

Also the sudden blame that was being suddenly leveraged against people who used AI art generators, as if they were personally responsible for the art theft. After ages of nothing but ‘Please fucking tag it unreality thanks.’ Like, you can think that it’s not ethical or whatever without acting as if someone who uses a generator is personally creating the database it uses.

Also like… ‘Nobody deserves art so if you couldn’t pay an artist originally you don’t deserve to use an AI art generator’ Fuck you. Somebody using a generator who couldn’t pay you to begin with is not stealing your wages. Someone with no money is not a potential employer who has decided to use an AI instead, there are different types of people in the world.

I too think that a database should be made ethically. And I think some of the AI artist guys are just… NFT people moving on to the next thing that will definitely make them money this time.

The problem you have is with the datasets. And the regulations around money and AI art. You are anti databases based on art theft and corporations using computers instead of people. You are not anti AI art, and you are definitely not anti AI. And if you are, there’s something wrong with you.

The technology is not the problem. Every person using it is not the problem. The people behind it and the lack of ethics involved in constructing the datasets is the problem. A 13 year old generating AI fanart of their favourite character isn’t and is not. Fucking. Stealing. A poor 21 year old with little money who couldn’t afford a commission who uses a generator to make an image of their OC is not. Fucking Stealing.

Be mad at the fucking corporations. Say that you don’t like it when people use the generators due to their issues. I don’t give a fuck. Just stop telling people they’re solely responsible for your hardships when they wouldn’t have given you money to begin with.

[greatamericansatan]

I Am Pro AI Art, Fuck All Y’all

I don’t think I’d care about this much if it wasn’t for the fact my boyfriend, who has had difficulty feeling artistically liberated due to depression, is excited about art for the first time in ages specifically because of AI.  And if not for the fact he is bothered by the haters.

1)  Look at the numbers.  A huge chunk of the people using AI art tools are professional artists, who see it, correctly, as a tool - one which is no threat to their job.

2)  Nobody who is looking to use AI art instead of paying you was EVER going to pay you, except as a “client from hell“ shitbird.  Anybody who wants something specific and is willing to pay for an artist will STILL pay for an artist.  You are losing fucking nothing.

3)  The mere idea that art isn’t already devalued into the sewer, that art is a viable career, is personally offensive to me.  I’ve tried to connect the dots on commission, I’ve chased those abusive industry jobs.  It’s all bullshit.  There hasn’t been a reasonable way to make a living off art for decades now, save for a rare few people.

If you’re indie, you’re a street corner busker and practically a hobo.  If you live to be old, you will be living off welfare and totally broken.  If you’re not indie, if you got that dream job, you are nearly as exploited and abused as those actors on the casting room couch.

If you’re lucky enough neither of these describe you, you’re a fucking liar perpetuating harmful ideas to all the little babes out treating “artist“ as a dream job.  You are an exception, and so far from the rule you aren’t even living in the same world.

People are coming to you for what you can do, and AI cannot.  Again, you are losing nothing.

4)  Copyright protects nobody but the rich and it’s been this way forever.  Indie artist?  You can’t afford a lawyer, get real.  AI ART WILL REDUCE COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT.

Let me repeat that.  AI ART WILL REDUCE COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT.  If you don’t understand this, you do not understand what the technology is actually doing.

As it currently stands, indie artists can do absolutely nothing to protect themselves from thieves because we can’t afford lawyers.  If the infringer is a youtuber with a comments section, treat it as advertisement and drop a link to your art in that comment section.  Legal action?  It just isn’t for you.  It’s for The Man.

AI art is NOT photobashing and does not directly copy anybody’s work.  At most, its results have a level of similarity equivalent to somebody using aspects of an original work for reference, which is something that is not only legal, but something the vast majority of artists do at some point - if not all the fucken time.  And that’s fine!  That’s a tool.

If the hackjobs and MLMs and scammers and exploiters of the artistic industries use AI, they will spend less time directly stealing your art off of the internet.  Right now, that activity is rampant, but when those people catch on to using AI instead?

You will have your shit stolen less often.

5)  These AIs cannot be stealing your art because the dataset is literally too small to be holding your images inside it.  They’re a few gigs, the “every image on the internet” would be many terabytes.   They used art to teach a machine how to place lines, form, value, color, and at this point they are extremely far from perfect.

Aside from endlessly replicated images like the Mona Lisa or the Blue Boy or Pepe, you would find it all but impossible to actually reproduce your art from one.  Even with those, the “reproductions“ will have bizarre variations.

6)  It’s still ableist to oppose an art tool that allows disabled people to be artists.  When my boyfriend had his imagination broken by abuse sustained as a professional artist, he was less able to innovate in his creation for a few years afterward.  The chaos and foolery in AI art can inspire creativity and help heal from that kind of damage, or from the way depression fucks up your ability to create.

And some people who have a vision but have not been able to create due to lacking coordination, or a neurological disability, or whatever?  You can tell them they aren’t real artists, but that makes you the asshole.

7)  A lot of the people opposing AI art are ignorant non-artists who are just riding the terror train of chasing every panic that comes down the pipes.  Of the artists, it’s people who don’t understand what AI actually is doing, or people who are just being elitists.

Some of you just want to limit the number of people who can be artists, by erecting barriers, by excluding.  “You should have to suffer the practice that I did“ is not far from “student loans shouldn’t be forgiven because I had to pay them.“  Think about it.

8)  ART STYLES CANNOT BE COPYRIGHTED AND NEVER HAVE BEEN.  And never should be!  Artistic movements can’t even happen without people being allowed to draw inspiration from the work of others.  Think about it for two seconds, goofballs.

(The only two situations I can think of where somebody successfully took legal action were ones where a company came to an artist to negotiate, were declined, then went on to make a direct copy of their style.  This happened to Don Hertzfeldt with Pop-tarts, and more famously Tom Waits on a number of occasions.  IANAL, but AFAIK nobody has ever been able to make a case that a style rip caused them damages outside of that specific circumstance.)

Anyway, I’ll keep unfollowing catty art bitches and neo-luddites shitting on new tools that help people enjoy creativity.  Let the winnowing continue...

-

[lianabrooks]

KJ Charles breaks down publishing legalese (circa 2023) for everyone so you know how to read a contract and what to do before your sign.

If you're thinking about publishing anything, go READ.

Quoted from the blog of KJ Charles

"This post ought to be filed under “Ministry of the Bleeding Obvious”. I hope most of you reading it will mutter “duh” and move on.  Everyone else, kindly have it tattooed on an unobtrusive body part.

The author’s biggest mistake is not, as you may think, having your heroine gaze into a mirror itemising her lush hair, full lips and high, firm breasts while feeling insecure about her ability to attract men. That’s #2. I’m talking about contracts.

Let’s start with some true stories.

Friend: [tells me about a complex set up she’s doing with a fellow creator involving transferring large sums of other people’s money] Me: You’ve got that down in a contract, right? Friend: Oh, I wouldn’t want to ask for a contract, that would suggest I didn’t trust her.

At a conference contracts panel

Me: Hands up who isn’t clear what “Grant of Rights” means in a publishing contract. [most hands go up] Me: Keep your hand up if you’ve signed a publishing contract. [most hands stay up. Embarrassed laughter.]

And in general:

Author: I don’t understand what all this legalese means but Publisher has always treated me well in the past, so I’m signing. Author: I can’t believe I’m really gonna be published! I got the contract today and you better believe I signed it right away and sent it back before they could change their minds LOL!!! Author: My brother deals with loads of contracts for the local council. He looked over it and he reckons it’s fine.

If that lot didn’t make your eyes bleed, you need to know more.

Contracts are scary, dull, and full of incomprehensible jargon. Nobody likes reading them, nobody likes negotiating them. But if you are an author looking to sign with a publisher, you have to read, and understand, and negotiate. It is culpably foolish not to.

The publisher’s job, and thus the job of everyone who works for them, is to make money for the publisher. Not for the author–that’s just a side effect which keeps the business lubricated. I have worked in publishing my whole life, over two decades, half a dozen companies. I have been a commissioning editor and a managing editor; I have negotiated, issued, and amended contracts, and dealt with rights exploitation and reversion. I was a publisher long before I was an author. And I know what I am talking about when I say that the publisher does not approach the contract thinking, “What are the most favourable terms we can possibly give?”

Writers are at a disadvantage here because, generally, we want to be published. We want to believe in the goodwill of the publisher with whom we’re dealing; we’re afraid of rocking the boat by being stroppy and asking too much. We probably can’t afford lawyers at all, and almost certainly don’t have access to an experienced publishing contract lawyer; many of us are unagented. Our eyes glaze as we read, and we’re not really sure what a lot of it means, but, you know, they publish lots of people, don’t they? The editor is lovely; authors say nice things about the publisher on Facebook. Surely it’ll be fine?

No. It is never okay to sign something you don’t understand. Your trust in the publisher’s goodwill will not get your rights or money back when things go wrong. Your unwillingness to read boring legalese isn’t an excuse, it’s an Achilles heel that covers your entire leg..."

KEEP READING

[the-real-kitkat]

The other timeline

Part two: the gohan incident

Tw: swearing, blood

Listen to:

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Shit. Shit. Shiiiit.” Android 31 cursed under his breath. Son Gohan, was right there in front of him. And if it wasn’t for the fact there was a tree right next to him, he would have been turned into scrap. He knew damn well saiyans were dangerous, and that they would kill and murder whoever got in their way. That’s what doctor Gure and the other red ribbon army people said. 31 held his breath, hiding his body behind the tree. Hopefully 32 stood still in the hiding spot he found. He can’t afford to see them die. Not after what happened to android 30. Or 29. 31’s thoughts were cast aside, he heard speech. “Piccolo-San? Was that you?” Gohan spoke, looking around. His glasses tilted to the side as he scratched his head. 31 remained silent. “Huh, that’s weird. Nobody is here. I swore I heard someone at the window….” Gohan trails off. A female voice was then heard. “Gohan! What are you doing? You know you have to work today…..wait. I see something..” she walked right up to 31. “Fuck.” He cursed under his breath, getting in a fighting stance. The girl, videl, went back and told gohan. Even worse. Gohan walked up to the android, and 31 had to fight.

This made 31 think, he closed his eyes, now remembering. He thought of a technique he and 32 had made. “Elemental ki” was what they called it. It was when one used their own bodies power, to manipulate their surroundings. So instead of a ki blast, it would be say a wind storm. 31 mastered wind elemental ki, and was teaching 32 a calmer version, mist elemental ki. 32’s body was weaker. It was more prone to injury. So instead of using the violent wind, the stunning flowers suited the style for 32. He remembered a moment where they had left the lab for the first time, it was raining and 31 wanted to teach 32 about the elemental ki technique. He remembered seeing 32 try wind manipulation… and the air causing parts of their body to implode. 32 lost parts of their arm and had a hole in their chest from the failed attempt. Blood had spilled everywhere on the cold, green grass. They were screaming. Their mask fell off. It was the definition of horrific. 31 then swore to never let 32 try wind manipulation ever again. He would never wish that pain upon his sibling ever again.

31 stopped. This was no time to be going down memory lane. 31 focused his energy, relying on instinct to sense the wind. The wind speed picked up, and now using his ki, 31 sensed everything around him. Gohans body was moving towards him, but also bracing due to the wind. 31 didn’t even open his eyes to see that. He kicked his leg forward, causing a change in direction of the fleeting air. That knocked gohan off balance. Raising his leg back up, the wind stopped. Before he stomped the ground causing air to rush away from the area, creating a vacuum of sorts. This was the time! 31 ran off and after he left, the air returned. “32! We gotta get outta here! I’ve stunned the saiyan for long, but I have no damn clue how long it will take for him to go full ape shit.” He said, grabbing. 32’s wrist. “Nii- Chan… are we gonna go back to the red ribbon army?” 32 asked, realizing that they would be de commissioned for fighting when they were told not to. “No. We both know pulling a stunt like that can and will get us decommissioned. Remember 29 and 30?” 31 said, hissing at the thought. “Where are we gonna go then..?” 32 asked, pulling on the little cuff on their brothers wrist. “About that… I have no clue to be honest. We already left the lab once and you nearly died. We go where ever, and avoid saiyans.” 31 said, slowly walking now, no longer running. “Does that mean we are going to another planet?” 31 responded with, “possibly. I heard of a safer planet called planet cereal. Our data says it’s a peaceful planet. The only thing the red ribbon army has to do with it is that they trade with some weird people who work for frieza. It’s not like anyone wants us on earth anyways.” That was indeed true. Androids were seen as beings of war, destruction, and of the red ribbon army’s colonial power. “Isn’t there a warrior on that planet? You know, the one that wished to be “ the strongest in the universe?” 32 asked, their eyes shining at the thoughts. “Wishes, hah. Those are more fake than dr. Gure’s facial hair. And it’s not like we would lose. We are stronger than some dude who uses fairy tale logic.” 31 responded, as he ripped off his red ribbon army badge.

[im-invisible-erased]

So for like the past two days this person has been messaging me on twitch whispers. giving me “advice” on what to do with my channel... and like the advice makes sense but I had to hit them with the “This is too expensive right now, and I’d rather not cheap out on emotes/starting screens/ending screens etc.”  Them: Its not expensive you can find cheap. You can always just get cheaper ones to start out with.  (my internal perfectionist screaming... if you’re not gonna do it right the first time just don't’ bother, like I had emotes that I made sloppily and didn’t keep any of them except one that I just genuinely like.) But obviously I’m in the process of trying to get to a point where I could commission a friend to do all these things.

And I explained that it just wasn’t in my budget currently. And they just ignored it so I said “You clearly don’t understand the poverty struggle do you? When I say I can’t afford even 50 dollars right now I mean it. Between bills and rent. and Feeding myself and my cats. Without proper income to break even with these cost...I can’t invest anything else into a hobby that makes me 0 dollars an hour currently.” 

after that I found the “do not accept whispers from strangers” function on twitch.

Like I understand all these things would make my channel more appealing. Having a proper banner. Having good emotes. Having a good Starting soon/Ending Screens. Cleaning up the panels to be more streamlined. Having a proper BRB screen.  (which I actually did the panels and BRB screen downloaded from a free overlay pack)  

But realistically I understand that my channel will never even break 15 consistent viewers. I’ve been on Twitch since before it was Twitch. I’ve been a watcher since 2009 [JustinTV days]. And I’ve been a part time/hobbyist streamer off and on Since August 2013. I had to beg multiple communities to open my stream and mute the tab just to get affiliate. I did that for like 3 months streaming over 200 hours each month just to hit affiliate. If I didn’t network to do that. my stream would be forever 1-2 viewers with an average viewer count of 0.5-1. Because unless i get raided by someone else that is my statistics on most days. 

I don’t really care about low views. I don’t care that my community is basically just other peoples community that I am also a part of. I got my one goal to hit affiliate back in September and that’s all I wanted. Like I’m just a little invisible stream. which is honestly the vast majority of channels. Streaming to maybe nobody maybe 1-2 people but I still like to stream so I keep doing it. Not because its profitable or because I have like unrealistic goals with it. Just cause. 

Like if I put in more effort did more networking and stuff. I would probably grow but I cba with it all. I’m just a part time streamer and nothing more. 

sorry this was just stressing me out and needed to write my thoughts down in a place where I'm invisible. 

[escaping-consciousness]

Of course, I can’t rely on anyone.

I don’t know if my bf will be able to get a job and KEEP it long enough before I completely deplete my savings. I struggle to save what $150 every check, but it won’t stay there. I’ve had to take it out to compensate for him or our roommates when they were unemployed. I’ll probably have to do it again to keep his car from being repoed, because unemployment may deny his claim. A bill needs to be paid and I just shit out money that could’ve gone to new computer equipment, clothes that actually fit me, therapy, or a course for a certification to get a better paying job. I could use it to move. I can’t do shit though. My hands are tied because I’m working all the time.

I can’t even do anything for myself because there’s no money left for me. I refrain from using what I can keep in the savings account .

I’m too tired and depressed to focus on my hobbies and skills. I need books to study, and I want to invest in freelancing, I just don’t have the support or the time. When I want yo get in the zone, it’s time to cook or go to bed so I can get up for work. When it’s the weekend, we have chores to catch up on. My money is gone by the time we finish groceries.

I don’t even have kids or my own pet. I have literally NOTHING except the my personal bills. The only good thing is that my bills are finally being paid on time. I can do my part. I know the economy is tough but I’ve gone too long without the things that could change my life or make me happy.

I don’t know what to do.

I feel alone and exhausted. I have a hard time seeing the positives in my situation. Yes, I’m alive, but I’m miserable. I just exist and I can’t make myself happy without compromising the security of having somewhere to live and paying things on time.

When I ask for help, there’s excuses from family or they’re trying to bail out cousins that don’t deserve the money because they refuse to work or get help. My mom has nothing to give. She ended up putting me in debt because she didn’t have enough to help me like she promised. She was too trusting and was just too busy helping her friend, her brother, or my brothers. None of them paid her back or even kept their end of the deal, but I did. I still get little financially help, even though forced to break my back for everyone else.

I can’t go home. Even if I did, there wouldn’t be room for me living back at mom’s. They’re struggling just as much and I’ll just be their taco to work because neither my brother or cousin have their own cars nor will they take public transportation or carpool with coworkers. Mom will emotionally cling to me because of how unhappy she is. If I go home, I’ll purposely OD.

Even if I left my bf, I’d be a burden to my friends. I can’t live alone because i simply can’t afford the rent. I make too much for assistance. I don’t have the skills. I can draw, but AI is fucking up the industry. I don’t have an audience for commissions. I’m not pretty or in shape enough for sex work. Something will happen to me if I ever go homeles.

A lot of this is so mean to think but I just don’t care,

I’m so demotivated by my circumstances but I wish that I didn’t wake up the next morning. I feel like I worked hard for nothing. People telling me “I’m doing great” have no idea how much pain I’m in and it seems like they don’t care either way. Nobody checks up on me. They just ask my parents about me, rather than call or message me.

I wish I didn’t need to be alive. I’m tired of being strong for everybody just so I can be there for them to lean on. I’m tired as bc I want to quit.

I don’t know why I’m sven here anymore.

I’m so unhappy and I can’t escape my life.

[keefwho]

September 30 - 2022

7:24 PM

I’ve felt sooooooo bland the past couple days. Not that thats inherently a problem, it happens sometimes. It just kinda sucks because I feel booooring. I don’t have much to say and very little/nothing to do. Not the best social attitude. But I’m chillin. Maybe a drink tonight will kickstart me back up. 

11:34 PM

Im so tired of living out here in the middle of nowhere. I’m so jealous of my friends for basically have normal lives. I haven’t done anything for years but stay in this room and live on the internet. I just want to be able to go outside somewhere. Or meet up with friends more often. I don’t know. I feel so insignificant tonight. I don’t want to get down on myself though. There isn’t really anywhere I can go right now. I can’t drive yet so I can’t live completely on my own. Even if I could, it would have to be in a different state with affordable housing. And then what. Even if I did all that, it’s not like I’d have any friends wherever I went. I’d have to make them. What I’m jealous of tonight would take a whole ass life change. And it’s not really my fault anyways. There are things I could do around here too, I just don’t do them. 

I guess tonight I feel like I’m lagging behind where I “should” be. If that even matters. Life is too diverse and complicated to judge where I “should” be anyways. 

Another possibility is that before I felt like it was impossible for me to be someone that could drive, or have IRL friends, or even have someone that wanted to fuck me. But after figuring myself out for a bit and getting some perspective, I can have things like this in theory. Just not physically right now. 

The only way I feel like I can be any kind of meaningful in here is to dedicate myself more to art and crank things out like I used to. And draw things like popular characters again. 

Maybe I should get some kind of personal project schedule again. I remember it got kind of miserable but I’m still miserable not doing it and also getting nothing done. 

12:01 AM

For a very long time I feel like I’ve fallen off. I’ve become so detached from how I used to be that made me feel more relevant. Kind of like I made it and then got lazy. All I do is draw my own OC and a couple friends, and commissions. Art has gotten longer to make and costs more. I don’t do fun events anymore. I dont do collabs or fan art. I’m fucking nobody now. And I don’t know what to do about it. At this moment it’s motivating enough realizing all this, but realistic long term dedication to changing all this is a whole different challenge. I’ve already figured out I can’t just schedule all my personal ideas like work because it ruins the fun. Maybe I have to find a way to WANT to use my free time for things more often. But I’ve been trying to do that for awhile. I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere. Ever

I’m not anyone anymore. 

[lovetals]

to extend time

synopsis: their (somewhat) subtle ways of spending more time with you

characters: diluc, kaeya, jean, venti

deets: gn! reader, fluff

notes: was gonna add on albedo and rosaria but my brain decided to take a nap when i got to venti’s 😵‍💫 they’re all rather short, too, but hopefully i managed to capture enough fluff ^^

diluc

❀ nobody likes to do work, but for some reason you never felt that way when it came to diluc asking you for help at the tavern

❀ it might be because of how simple the tasks were, majority of them just putting stuff away in their proper places or helping him clean up when it’s late and the place is getting empty. you’ve noticed how he only asks you that when there isn’t as many people, something you greatly appreciated since it was uncomfortable to be surrounded by so many intoxicated people

❀ they’re rather simple tasks by itself, but they’re somehow easier with diluc. he takes notice of how you struggle with something and will immediately step in. don’t worry about that stain that you can’t seem to clean, just move on and let him handle it

❀ or maybe it was because of the time you got to spend with the redhead. sure, it was spent with you walking around and cleaning and stuff, but it was filled with moments that made the two of you laugh and grow excited the next time you were asked to help out

❀ you were sure diluc liked these moments as well, never before have you seen him smile so fondly until those nights

❀ as your back is turned towards the man while wiping down a table you don’t get to see the soft blush on his cheek as he stares at you much like a lover would. he lets out a sigh of content as he’s just so happy to be with you for a second longer

❀ if only time could stand still, he thinks

kaeya

❀ he doesn’t really do anything or ask anything of you, he just slides his way to you and is suddenly accompanying you throughout the day

❀ you’re getting food at good hunter? what a coincidence, he’s hungry, too! meals are best eaten together, wouldn’t you say?

❀ buying some flowers from flora? he’s there as well, saying he was helping the little girl with her commission to help preserve the flowers! shush, flora, don’t rat him out to his crush >:(

❀ simply walking around town? he could use a break!

❀ don’t bring up his job and remind him of whatever task jean gave him, he’ll drag you along to “keep the party going” as he says

❀ you don’t really realize how often you spend time with the cavalry captain until someone asks where he is when they don’t spot him at your side, remarking that’s it strange to not see the two of you together

❀ …was that why you felt so down today?

❀ you think that it’s just you that feels this way as you walk around town aimlessly with an obvious frown for practically the whole day until you spot kaeya walking down the bridge by the end of it

❀ he acts exactly like you—a frown on his face and sluggish movements, his shoulders slouched just slightly as he keeps his eyes down; an obvious contrast to his usual demeanor

❀ you don’t notice that you call out his name, a smile finally forming on your face

❀ his head snaps up and very quickly does his whole disposition change. his facial expression mirrors your own and he picks up his pace, eager to be at your side once again

❀ the joy in kaeya’s voice as he calls out your name makes you think he missed you just as much, if not, more

jean

❀ everyone needs to eat, it’s not something you can skip out on whenever you wish to. too many missed meals and soon you’ll find yourself collapsing to the floor due to the lack of nutrients. even the busiest of people can’t afford to let this happen so they schedule times to eat

❀ but it's not very fun to eat alone, so why not invite a friend to join you? or in jean's case, a crush?

❀ jean doesn’t eat her lunch while continuing work, she actually lets herself have a short break to be able to enjoy her meal. she takes this as an opportunity to relax and spend time with you, letting her mind and mouth run free. it's something that she doesn't even seem to notice doing

❀ the amount of relief she feels whenever you pop into her office is exhilarating; her shoulders ease up and she can lean back into her chair, nearly sliding off it from exhaustion. she thought she was just happy to be given a break but soon learns that it was you who gave her such a feeling (she found out when lisa came in and reminded her about her break instead of you and ate her lunch wondering why she felt so sad)

❀ sometimes, the mere mention of you is enough to spark life into her eyes after hours of work

❀ personally, jean prefers to eat inside her office rather than out in public with you. sure, the sunny weather and gentle breeze is nice to feel, but there was so much she wanted to do with you that she couldn’t bring herself to do in front of others

❀ she loved feeding you something from her dish (a move she learned from one of her favorite romance novels), but she could never do it in front of those that loved to gossip. imagine how much more stress that would cause for not only her, but for you as well

❀ though to have a day out with you somewhere outside would be something she hopes to do one day. she’s found a private spot, she’s bought a picnic basket, all she needs to do now is to find the courage to ask you

venti

❀ there’s always a reason to celebrate according to the bard

❀ he earned more mora by performing in front of a crowd than yesterday? obviously this calls for a feast!

❀ last night, he managed to stay for 10 minutes in diluc’s bar before getting kicked out, so why not get a drink to commemorate this! …and to try to set a new record, ehe~

❀ everyday venti seeks you out, asking you to join him for this “momentous occasion!” but never seems to want a crowd to follow along. in fact, he gets all pouty when someone else joins in on the fun, wanting this moment to be spent with you alone

❀ it’s sometimes why the two of you like to hangout on the hands of the statue in front of the church; nobody is able to interfere on your “celebration”

❀ venti doesn’t limit himself to only spend time together at night, oh, no. he’s creative enough to find ways to spend out in the warm sun with you (alone, preferably)

❀ as rowdy as he may get during the night this personality of his doesn’t carry over to the mornings. instead, he acts much more calm and finds something more relaxing to do

❀ it’s become common to find yourself spending the day by resting on the bard’s lap as he plays a song on his lyre as his way of celebrating at the fact that he’s finally grown closer to the one he loves

[contorted-curruptions]

*-Mug Shot-*-Poly KiriBaku X reader-*-part one-*

Note: Surprise Saturday, I got carried away with the story and thought it might be best to section it off in two parts so you’ll be getting this one and another post tomorrow peeps, I hope you enjoy my first attempt at a story like this one. Smut is not in this one so if you are looking for that you’ll find it tomorrow, until then please feel free to enjoy this. Also all characters are aged up and the time the story takes place is when they are already pro heroes, so keep that in mind.

=============================================================

Running, running, the sound of bare feet harshly pounding across the hard surface of the ground below. The pavement cold and merciless on your bare feet, you feel the damage from all the running with no shoes.  As you run the sound of your terror echoes out across the soundless night, the streets so empty, not like how they usually are in the daytime. Not a soul will hear you and if they do it’ll be a little too late. It’s dark and only the street lights give you any semblance of where you are going. You hear and feel your heartbeat pounding away in your chest, that feeling becoming more painful with each pound. You feel yourself falter a bit more but you can’t afford to stop, can’t afford to stop running even for a minute. You know they have to be hot on your tail, know they won’t waste time in giving chase once they know you have fled the scene, that most horrifying scene that you left behind. The images flash through your mind as you ran churning your stomach and bringing fresh tears to your eyes. You stifle a sob but that makes your chest clench most painfully but worst of all in this panic while you turn into an alleyway you haven’t noticed the glass scattering across the entrance of the alley. Though you become sorely aware of it once your feet make contact with the shards causing you to let out a scream at the pain shooting through the fresh wounds the glass makes. You wind up tumbling to the ground, you scuff up your hands and knees as you make contact earning more painful noises from you. You fell unceremoniously on the ground in a small heap. Those sobs you kept in achingly inside your chest burst out and you howl out, hot tears now streaming down your face.

For a moment you lose your resolve while you lay there in that heap on the pavement. The pain from all the running through the city catching up with you. Your breathing erratic and you are finding it hard to catch the breath that you lost during this chase. You feel dizzy, your entire body aching in agony, and for this time all you can focus on is the sheer panic coursing through your entire form. You need to get up, need to, have to, you can’t just keep lying like this out in the open, they’ll find you. Another surge of adrenaline gives you the energy you need, you rise to your feet and start running again. You are ignoring the pain in your feet and in other areas of your body which is over-exhausting. You’re Focusing on what is dead ahead of you, a building that looks abandoned. You can focus on much of anything else except the idea of escaping, the idea you can hide and rest a moment. Though, you have to wonder what you are going to do. You can’t run forever and you doubt hiding will do you much good either. No, not when facing off with two pro heroes who are much more experienced than you. Two pro heroes and friends you never had thought until now would have done something like this in the first place and no one else will believe such a claim either. No one will convict two heroes that have done nothing but good. 

These thoughts alone left you feeling alone, so very alone. Who do you turn to in a time like this one? Who will even believe you? You, a simple book store clerk and hobbyist selling random things for fun? You are what most would call a nobody, just another face in the crowd, which is why you have to wonder what wound you up getting mixed up with these two in the first place. However, this is no time to think about that. There is no time to be drudging back into the past when what you need to focus on is finding a solution to your problem. A solution that doesn’t come easy or seemingly at all. The alarm of this chase slowly starts to dull into confusion as to why you haven’t been hearing anything from the two who should be hunting you down right now. You haven’t even seen a glimpse of either of the two males you figure are after you currently. Everything quiet and dark, not a sound, not a peep, nothing. You pause your running once reaching the abandoned building and making your way inside. You pant and groan, your lungs and everything else feeling like they are on fire. You place your hands on your knees and take in a deep gasp of breath before coughing loudly. You are choking and gasping after all that running, that dizzy feeling coming back to you. You stumble to the wall and lean against it, you in this tiring state slide down not caring about the filth on it or the ground under you, and there is trash along with other more grimy looking things all around, nonetheless at the moment, you choose to ignore it. Your body too worn and your mind still scattering about too much to really mind it all. All you need is to breathe, that is all you can think, you need a moment. Maybe if lucky, they aren’t chasing you after all. You can only hope that is the case yet you can’t be too certain so you know you can’t linger for too long.

“Fuck...fuck...it stings damn it…why…?!”

You curse under your breath finally starting to feel the glass in your feet you didn’t bother to remove before. You are fearful to even look at the bottoms of your feet right now, you can only imagine how torn up they must look currently, The blood. Looking off you can see the small trail leading to you.  You let out a small whimper as you raise your hands to look at them. They too sting badly from falling a few times before. Looking them over it seems they have been torn up pretty badly. A few rocks rest under the skin now, you poke at the bloody and bruising flesh trying to scoot a rock from under the flesh to get it out only to hiss from how it feels to do so and once more curse.

“Damn it…stings...”

You say in a whimper as you move to curl up into yourself, more tears start to cascade down your cheeks, that tight feeling in your chest returning.

“(BF/n), oh god...what am I...?!”

You curl up and start sobbing the images of your beloved’s corpse chard and beaten to a pulp on the floor creeping into your brain, it once more causes you to feel sick. It makes you want to vomit. The smell, the sight, the screaming before all that, those are things you know you’ll never forget. All of them tear you up inside, this is all your fault after all if it weren’t for taking on that project for the two pro heroes you wouldn’t have been winding up here, would you?

It had been a simple day, one like any other, the sky was bright and sunny dotted with a few clouds which you had remembered you stared up at that day. It was very nice unlike tonight, cold and unbearable regardless you remember you woke up beside your lover then. Your boyfriend had given you a good morning kiss like always ever since you had moved in together. Honestly, you hadn’t been in that house together all that long, only a couple of months but those moments spent together had been a dream. A dream you hadn’t wanted to wake up from. You would both get up and get ready to go to work. That morning you showered together, you both got a bit frisky that morning. You and your boyfriend would make out tongues danced together while your arms would be wrapped around each other. You could feel how well your bodies fit together. 

Hard to believe that is all over now, that lovely little dream with your boyfriend dead, as dead as he is now. You will never feel that perfect fit with him again. Knowing that sends another wave of pain through you and causes another sob to echo out from your chest as you shiver and wish for the warmth of your lover. Right now you feel more cold and alone than ever before.

Continuing that trip down memory lane, you could recall you left the house alone that day. Your boyfriend would take his car to work and you would walk, being that you didn’t live that far away from the book store which you work at. You can’t help but think that years ago you wouldn’t have seen yourself working in such a place and it’s not because you don’t like books more so you have problems dealing with people. It fills you with a lot of anxiety to deal with things most days. Honestly, you feel you might have just wasted away if it wasn’t for your boyfriend who always seemed to have your back when you needed it. What are you going to do now that he is gone? Are you going to spiral out of control? No, somehow you will stay strong for his sake. 

Regardless, continuing on. The day moved forward normally nothing seemed out of place, not even the random email you had gotten when you came home. The email was another commission for a project by another faceless person. You didn’t know that this request would wind you up in deep trouble later, in that deep trouble now. The commission seemed all too normal. The client wanted something special done for an anniversary gift for their boyfriend which seemed very cute to you. Really you sort of like hearing from the clients more than most do. The theme was simple it was to be a Red Riot and Ground Zero themed item or rather mugs. They wanted it to be a bit flashy or at least the art on them to be, it was something you could do, Honestly. Despite not being that into heroes, you were happy to do this for the client. You love making things and even more so making those who enjoy your work happy. So like with any other client you got to work after you sorted through the details, and actually, you were very excited. This was something you could do with your boyfriend, he was much more into the whole hero thing than you were and still are. Funny enough your boyfriend did like those two in particular. They were heroes that he very much enjoyed so that day you learned quite a lot about the pair of heroes in question.

The project went on as normal and with your newfound information, you made the gift extra special. You wanted to be very specific to the client’s taste so you tried to ask questions however they seemed very lax about everything they had said that they trusted your judgment. You didn’t mind this one bit. You had given the client updates and he seemed to like them. Eventually, the day came for the project to be done and you shipped them out. You had been very proud of your work and even your boyfriend was. Actually, Your boyfriend had got all pouty, he wished he could keep them which you had found funny then...what you would give to be able to hear him laugh again, to see that smile, and now that was stolen from you.

For a long while, things seemed alright, there had been no word from the client. However, you had been paid so you assumed they were happy with what they had gotten. It wasn’t until a full two months later that things started to kick off again. The day had started normal enough, you made it to the bookstore on time, and would work as you normally would. That day was quiet, not many customers, and most of the day spent slacked off with your coworker while doing what needed to be done around the store. Though at some point the bell on the door would sound it would call you back to the front of the store. A young man with crimson red spikey hair and eyes was the one who sounded the bell when he walked in. Upon further inspection your eyes would widen you would form a recognition with the redhead in the store, it was the hero Red Riot. You couldn’t help but stand there dumbfounded.

“H-Hello and welcome to Nook Books, how can I help you?”

That had been what you said when you finally had found your words, your voice had come out in a bit of a stutter and you had given him a small nervous laugh. He responded to your more shy behavior with merely a smile and offered up an adorable laugh of his own, which actually eased your own anxiety towards the situation at the time.

“Hey there, yeah I could actually use a bit of help finding a book.”

You would smile at the young hero and gave a small nod, you of course were always happy to help the customer, and there was no exception then either. Not to mention you were face to face with the hero Red Riot and at that time you had been oh too excited to be in his presence for the fact you could tell your boyfriend about the encounter. Maybe if you were lucky you could get an autograph, or maybe at least a picture, though to be honest you also hadn’t wanted to bother him so you so it was just a debate in your mind. you at the time though knew it would make your boyfriend happy if you would get it.

“Ah yes, well I’m happy to help, what book are you looking for?”

You would offer up one of your best smiles and try not to fidget too much however you had already shifted to and fro a bit out of nervousness already.

“Ah well, haha, I kinda don’t know…”

You would blink a moment in confusion but nod a moment before you responded.

“You don’t know? Are you buying for someone else?”

You would question a moment, you thought maybe his mind had been on someone else when he thought of the book he wanted, it might have been a gift if he wasn’t sure what kind of book he was on the look for however just as well he might just not had been sure what type of book he needed for himself, but something told you it wasn’t for him, you had a felt that way anyway.

“Haha, yeah, it isn’t for me, though he’s very special to me, he’s a bit difficult to buy for sometimes. Do you have any books that would be more action-packed and manly?”

You had smiled when you listened to his explanation for who it was for and even giggled when you heard what exactly he was had been in search for. There were many, many books on hand that could cover what he wanted but with so little given and that he said the other was difficult to buy for well it seemed like a slightly daunting task. Even so at that time you were determined to find the perfect book for this special someone that he had talked about. You smiled and worked very hard, you asked specific questions to try and get a better gauge on what type of book to get. If only you had known what you had been dealing with back then you wouldn’t have worked as hard as you did to make him happy. You wouldn’t have been as pleasant to him, but sadly you hadn’t known and you had been as positive and polite as possible. You even asked more than you would have given your normal comfort zone. You had tired yourself out on one customer something you wouldn’t usually do, but you wanted to impress the male. You wanted to make sure someone like him left very happy. You did manage that, you got him the perfect book, after you found that book for him you brought him over to the register to check him out.

“I think that book will make him smile, and if it doesn’t feel free to hold me accountable.”

You would chirp out as you rang up the book, you had a good conversation with the young hero. He’d even told you his name which was interesting to know. Kirishima seemed to talk about Ground Zero. Of course, it was said they were good friends so you supposed that was only natural, and he’d mentioned a few other interesting aspects about himself which had tickled you to learn about. It wasn’t every day you could have said you got to talk to a pro hero.

“Don’t worry, I trust your judgment, I don’t think you’d steer me wrong haha.”

You would nod and laugh as you placed the book in a bag and told him how much the book would be, Kirishima would pay you and you would hand him the bag, of course surprisingly he didn’t rush off after that, he would stick by the counter a moment.

“Before I go, would you like an autograph or something?”

He had given you a big grin and you would blink, you had held back and tried not to ask because you hadn’t wanted to bother him and there he asked you about what you had wanted from him, almost too eager you lept at the opportunity.

“Y-Yes actually I’d love that, my boyfriend is a big fan.”

At the first part of your statement it would seem that Kirishima was very happy to hear what you had to say but as you look back on it now you realize that he had twitched lightly, he had made a small change in his facial expression that said something else when you mentioned your boyfriend, you thought nothing of it back then but now it was very apparent that he was upset to hear you were with someone and that the reason you wanted a picture and autograph was because of him and not because you were a fan.

“Yeah? Alright then, glad I could help you make his day like you made mine.”

After that, you would get to pose with him for a picture and he would sign a piece of notebook paper for you, it was the only thing you had on hand at the moment, but he happily signed it for you. You also hadn’t noticed that he looked for more reasons to make conversation with you but your coworker interrupted and him unlike your boyfriend wasn’t very fond of heroes so he could care less that one was in the store other than the fact it meant that the store might get a good review from someone who mattered.

“(Y/n), I need you to do something for me in the back.”

Your coworker would speak up, you could tell from the tone of his voice he just wanted to hurry things along.

“Oh, I don’t want to keep you. It was nice to meet you, (Y/n). Hopefully, I’ll see you again.”

With that Kirishima had given you a small smile and wave before he made his way to the door.

“Yeah, you too, have a lovely day, I hope the person you were buying for enjoys your gift!!”

You would call back to him before he fully left, you hadn’t thought about how he used your first name, you didn’t tell him he couldn’t then, which would come to be a mistake later, many things would lead to being mistakes you couldn’t have fathomed being so problematic. After that meet with him, you had continued work only to be nagged by your coworker about doing your job in a timely fashion which irked you quite a lot but you hadn’t let it ruin your day. Like you assumed your boyfriend would be over the moon to see the autograph and to see the picture you had been so pleased to see his smile, that night was one to remember, Your boyfriend had been so excited he made love to you. Part of you doesn’t want to remember that part, only because it’s yet another thing that you will never have from him again, and giving the current situation, you find it inappropriate.

Suddenly you hear a loud bang echo out, a growl and cussing from not too far away from where you are in the building. Your heart begins pounding in your chest, it looks like those who were chasing you after you had fled are finally here to collect you. Your breathing picks up and you move scrabbling to your feet. If you stay here they’ll find you for sure, that is all that you are thinking about, you need to escape and now.

“Where the fuck are you (Y/n)!! I know you’re fucking here, can’t hide forever idiot!!”

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

love and revolution

Magnus was intently working on a bookshelf. It was made of a beautiful, dark mahogany and, upon the request of the customer, was going to have dozens of birds carved into the sides and edges. He began sanding the shelves with a fine grit sandpaper. For a while, the only sound in the Hammer and Tongs was the soft, repetitive noise of wood being worn down.

The calm monotony was broken when the front door creaked open. Magnus looked up and grinned at the entrant; Julia Waxman, loaded down with bags from various merchants in town, had returned, the last dregs of the late afternoon sun trailing in after her. The sharp bite in the air let everyone know winter was just around the corner.

Magnus quickly stood up to relieve Julia of her burden She smiled and handed him half the bags in her arms. As the pair got to work unloading the bags, Magnus frowned. Everything Julia had brought home was either small, poor quality, or about to turn.

“This is what everyone had. Season’s been tough for farming and everyone’s raising prices to keep up with Kalen’s tariffs,” Julia said before Magnus could comment. She inspected the hard loaf of bread she’d been able to grab.

Magnus shook his head. For nearly a year, Governor Kalen and his cronies had been enacting increasingly harsh laws, oppressive curfews, and predatory taxes; the citizens of Raven’s Roost all felt the firm pressure of Kalen’s fine leather boots on the neck of their economy and of their freedom.

“How is everyone doing?”

Julia shrugged. “They’re all doing as well as they can. The Silverstrings are worried because their wheat harvest was half as fruitful this year as it was last year and a good portion of what grew was seized by Kalen.”

“Lucatiel?”

“His wool has largely been commandeered by Kalen. He hopes to be able to shear another large batch before winter hits in earnest but he’s uncertain.”

“And Therala?”

“Her herd’s dwindling. Most of the calves from this past spring either died or –“

“Were taken by Kalen and his pals. Right. Jules, how does he keep getting away with this?”

Julia laughed sharply and started putting some of the dry goods in the storage closet in the back of the shop. “Magnus, that’s just how things have always been here. For a while, anyway.”

“But how’d he even get into power in the first place?” There was nothing but pure astonishment in his voice. In the five years he’d lived in Raven’s Roost, he’d never quite been able to comprehend how someone so ruthless could have gotten the trust of the town; his friends and neighbors were good, honest folks and good judges of character. It made no sense to Magnus.

She puffed out her cheeks and thought for a moment. “He helped form Raven’s Roost into a proper town. We used to be vulnerable to bandits and those who sought to cause pain. He was stern but that kept us in shape. He used to be better. Genuinely. Not good, not at all, but not like this. His policies were never quite this harsh. I suppose he’s gotten greedy.”

“It’s senseless for him to dig this deep this quickly. If it continues like this, I don’t know that the town is going to last much longer.”

Julia said nothing. She knew Magnus was right but what was to be done about it? The two continued to unpack and put away items in silence.

“Papa won’t talk to me about how business is going here. Said he doesn’t want me to worry about things. How are we doing?” Julia looked at Magnus seriously.

He hesitated. Steven had specifically asked him to not discuss the business with Julia but when he saw her in front of him, firm hands anxiously picking at a sliver on the table, he found it hard to deny her.

“We’ve done better. I’m sure you’re aware the craftsmen corridor has been hit pretty hard by all the tariffs. Not only can we hardly afford to replace the tools and materials we need but the rest of the town can’t exactly afford our wares. We get the occasional customers,” he gestured to the bookshelf he’d been working on. “But we’re not doing great.”

Julia nodded and looked down. “That’s not exactly reassuring. But thanks for telling me.”

“Of course. Just don’t tell your dad I said anything,” he said sheepishly.

“Deal,” she said, glancing back at him with a smile.

-

Magnus sat on a bench outside the Hammer and Tongs and stared up at the moons. His teeth were chattering quietly but he wasn’t quite ready to turn in for the night. Isaiah Erksine, Kalen’s right-hand man, had distributed yet another list of tariffs and regulations to all the shops in Raven’s Roost earlier in the day. They were unconscionable; taxes and levies on every single scrap of material you could think of. Harsher curfews that made it nearly impossible for those in the craftsmen corridor to do much else besides make goods that nobody could afford. It was like the very essence of life was slowly being choked out of the town. Or, at the very least, the spirit of its inhabitants.

Magnus’s ruminative spiral was broken when he felt a thick, scratchy blanket draped over his shoulders. He glanced up and smiled; Julia, dressed far more sensibly than Magnus, darted a hand back through the doorway. In a moment, Magnus’s hands were wrapped around a piping hot mug of mint tea. Admittedly, the drink was more water than tea, but he drank it appreciatively.

“You seem troubled,” Julia mused, sipping from her own chipped mug.

“I am, Julia.” He confirmed, scooting over to make room on the bench. Julia mulled it over for a minute before sitting down. Heat was radiating off her like a fire and it took everything in Magnus to not immediately wrap his arms around her and hold her close. Though he did scoot a little closer. You know, to keep warm.

“I’d like to think that we could go a single week without tax hikes but it’s seeming more and more like a pipe dream,” she said flatly. “I hate this. I’ve lived among these people for as long as I can remember. Raven’s Roost is my home. When I was a little girl, I always used to think dream about the day that I’d get to raise my own family here. It felt like such a safe and warm place. And now…” She glanced at Magnus before she looked to the sky. “Now most days I feel like things might be easier if I just go somewhere else. And I don’t want that. I want to stay. I want to want to stay. I just don’t know that there’s going to be anything to stay for if this keeps up.”

“I want there to be something here for you,” Magnus murmured quietly, looking at Julia’s profile in the moonlight.

“Magnus, believe me, I don’t want to leave my home. I don’t want to leave –“ She looked at Magnus from the corner of her eye. “I don’t want to leave the people here. I just don’t think I can keep living under Kalen.”

“What if we don’t have to?” The words escaped Magnus’s mouth before he could even make sense of them himself.

Julia lurched and turned to look at Magnus, bewildered. “I’m sorry?”

Magnus had a choice. He could have easily retracted his statement. He could have laughed it off. But instead of thinking it over for any amount of time, he doubled down. “What if we don’t have to keep living under Kalen? What if we could still live here, in Raven’s Roost, but without that tyrant?”

Julia looked around before scooting closer to Magnus, their wind-chapped noses nearly touching. “Are you suggesting…” she took a breath, as though to steel herself. “Are you suggesting a revolt?”

Magnus could barely focus on the question with Julia this close to him. “I-I think I am,” his voice was near silent.

Julia nodded. “Okay. How’re we going to do this?”

-

Watery winter light did its best to penetrate the frost coated windows of the Hammer and Tongs. Magnus was idly whittling a piece of scrap wood. There weren’t any orders to work on and Candlenights was right around the corner; he figured he could fashion something homemade for both Julia and Steven.

His pocketknife nearly went flying out of his hand when the door of the shop burst open, startling him out of his focus. Standing in the doorway was a young earth genasi he recognized from town. He looked frantic and near tears. Magnus set his project down.

“Hey, Allura, what’s the matter?” Magnus asked, inviting the young man inside and shutting the door behind him.

“Magnus, it’s my dad,” Allura choked out. He looked gaunt and miserable; Magnus thought back to a few months ago when the entire Mountaindeep family came into the Hammer and Tongs, jovially talking about commissioning a crib, as a new baby was on the way. Allura, a kid all of fifteen, had chattered to him for ten minutes about how excited he was to become a big brother. He looked decidedly less excited in that moment.

“What happened?”

“W-we couldn’t pay the tariffs. My dad has been charging everyone half price. H-he said he couldn’t hike the prices up, it wasn’t right. And we couldn’t… Kalen took him away!” he cried, bordering on hysterical.

“Allura, buddy, you gotta breathe, okay? What do you mean Kalen took him?” Magnus led him to a chair.

“H-he hauled him off to the prison and I don’t know what’s gonna happen to him and my m-mom’s giving birth soon and I can’t help with that, I don’t know how,” He managed to get out, hiccupping between every few words, too distraught to calm down.

“Julia!” Magnus called up the staircase in the back of the shop. He had to get this kid to stop crying so he could get the full story and Julia tended to have a calming presence on, well, everyone.

In a moment, she appeared at the bottom of the stairs and sent Magnus a confused look. He nodded towards the crying teenager as explanation.

Julia rushed over, knelt down, and took Allura’s face in her thick hands. “Hey, hon, can you breathe with me?” she cooed gently. And for a few minutes, the shop was silent, save for Julia counting breaths for Allura.

“Can we hear the story again, bud?” Magnus asked quietly after a few moments.

Allura nodded and sniffled. “You guys know that Kalen raised the tariffs. Again. Um. My dad decided to slash his prices, not raise them to keep up. Said he couldn’t. He’s a big follower of Helm and he said it wasn’t right to keep medicines behind a steep price. He just wanted to help people. But Kalen came collecting today and he took my dad. And it’s not just him. He took Mr. Anvilrock and Sevara Mountainwillow and a few other people. And I don’t know what’s going to happen to them,” he said, his voice small and scared.

Magnus and Julia exchanged a look. She sent him a nod and turned back to Allura. “Okay. Thank you for telling us. Do you think that you can do us a favor?”

Allura furrowed his brow but nodded cautiously.

“Go around to the others in the craftsmen corridor and tell them to meet at the Hammer and Tongs tomorrow night? Just tell them it’s really important that everyone come. And if Kalen or his buddies ask you about it, be as vague as you can.” Magnus said seriously.

“If you’re asked about it, say that I’m teaching everyone how to patch their own clothes since Masden had to close down shop. ” Julia offered.

“But what about the curfew?” Allura asked, voice meek and eyes rimmed with red.

Magnus thought for a moment. “Tell everyone that we might have a way to keep us from having to worry about curfew ever again. I just need everyone to trust me.”

“I think I can do that.” Allura said, rising from the chair.

Julia patted him on the shoulder and slipped a gold piece into his hand. Before he could protest, she held her hand up and shooed him out the door.

Magnus rubbed his face for a moment. “Something’s gotta give, Jules.”

Julia reached a tentative hand out to squeeze Magnus’s hand quickly. “After tomorrow, I think something will. I hope.”

-

“Can either of you tell me why three separate people assured me that they’d do their best to make it to the shop tonight when I stopped in town a little bit ago?” Steven asked from the kitchen table.

Julia avoided her father’s gaze, busying herself with prepping tea instead.

Magnus focused intently on cracking eggs without getting any bits of shell in the bowl. He quickly whisked them together and held off on adding any salt or pepper to the mixture before setting them in the skillet. That was a little tip he picked up from—he thought for a moment—well, from his moms, he supposed. Apparently kept the egg from getting tough or something. He wasn’t really sure what that meant but followed the rule without fail. Made for good eggs, anyway.

“Am I just meant to be okay with the two of you encouraging our friends and neighbors to break the law to come over for a late-night chat?” A stern edge crept into Steven’s voice.

“Steven, we just wanted to have a meeting with the other craftsmen.”

“About what? What’s so important that it requires possibly getting some good people thrown in jail?”

“People are already getting thrown in jail!” Magnus protested. “Allura Mountaindeep came crying in here yesterday. His dad’s in prison, along with a handful of others who couldn’t pay. I just…Steven, you don’t have to agree with what we’re doing but you have to understand. I can’t keep sitting by and watch the town and people I love be beaten down by some big bully.”

Magnus returned his gaze to the eggs. The silence in the kitchen was broken by the teakettle’s shrill whistle.

“We have a plan. And hell, after tonight, it might not even be anything. But Papa, aren’t you tired of struggling? You can be as stoic as you like but I know the truth. This isn’t the life we should all be living. We should be able to have some shred of hope for a future that could matter. A future that isn’t just toiling until we die.” Julia stared at her father as she moved the kettle from the flame.

Steven stared back for a moment before glancing back at Magnus. He let out a sigh. “We can have the meeting but everyone is out before moonrise.”

Magnus and Julia smiled wide.

“Deal.” Magnus said, dividing the eggs between the three plates.

-

A hush fell over the group of craftmakers who all crammed into the Hammer and Tongs. It was a tight fit but it appeared that most of the corridor had managed to make the meeting. The sun had long since set, leaving only the meekest dregs of light hanging in the sky; moonrise was due in less than an hour. Magnus knew he had to make the meeting quick.

“I’m sure you’ve all heard of the few imprisonments that have come about as a result of Kalen’s new tariffs.” Magnus began, bouncing his gaze across those gathered in the shop.

A grumble of acknowledgement reverberated through the dense crowd.

“And I’m sure you all know that any of us could be subject to the same treatment just for being at this meeting.”

More noises of agreement bubbled up in the crowd.

“Then I’ll make it quick and worth your risk. I hate seeing Raven’s Roost like this. I know in my bones it could be better if things were different. I hate seeing everyone beaten down by these laws. I hate seeing Kalen’s friends allowed to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and never see any kind of repercussions for it. I’m sick of seeing people starving in the streets. Sick of seeing families torn apart because one of them had the audacity to be a kind person. I want Raven’s Roost to be a flourishing place.” He glanced over to Julia and pink stained his cheeks. “I want to be able to raise a family here. I want to want that. But as it stands, I don’t know that I can imagine a future for Raven’s Roost. I don’t know how many of us can last like this for much longer.”

“And what exactly are you proposing we do about it?” Hector Anvilrock, another metalworker in town, demanded.

“We’re proposing a revolution.” Magnus said simply.

The shop erupted in conversation. It began civil enough but quickly devolved into name calling and accusations of espionage and snitching. Magnus’s stomach dropped. He knew it wasn’t going to be an easy sell but if this was any indication, he feared for the future of any kind of revolution.

“Enough!” Julia said, climbing onto a chair. She was already taller than Magnus and nearly as broad so the added height made her the single most imposing figure in the room, though her warm brown eyes added an air of compassion. “I understand it’s a scary thought. But do we really think it’s a better idea to just roll over and get kicked? Sure, Kalen has numbers and power and resources. But we actually have something worth fighting for. We have the most skilled craftspeople on the continent. We have conviction. And we have a goal.” She sighed and rubbed her hand down her face. “I understand if any of you are scared or apprehensive. I won’t make demands. I won’t beg. I want you all to join us but I won’t look down on you for not getting involved. I just want to know that we can trust you.”

She glanced over at Magnus who was watching her, stars in his eyes. She raised her eyebrows at him and sent him a tiny nod.

“Well?” He asked, seeming to snap out of his daze. “Can we trust all of you?”

It felt like the entire show was holding its breath until Hector nodded. And then Allura. And then Therala. One by one, each person in attendance gave a silent pledge.

Magnus grinned, relief flooding his veins. This was only the first step, but they’d already hurdled over it with grace. He was certain they’d be able to make Raven’s Roost a safe place for all someday.

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Celebrating its 75th anniversary this year, the fringe began as an accessible and affordable alternative to the international festival. Today, it still offers the chance to perform every day, to experiment and collaborate. But whereas once you could arrive in Edinburgh with big ideas and little else, many feel the festival now effectively runs a “pay to play” model.

While big-name comedians do perform, the “spirit of the fringe” is about undiscovered acts catching a break. As Jon Richardson told the Guardian in 2019: “I would rather people saw someone new than me doing a show I’ve already done on tour.” Performers attend in the hope of becoming the next Fleabag, Mighty Boosh or Garth Marenghi. But many comedians say the fringe has become more like a corporate festival for established TV names, rather than the showcase of hot new talent it once was.

Tensions peaked earlier this month when it was revealed that this year there would be no fringe app, which is seen as vital in generating on-the-day ticket sales. This prompted more than 1,500 people to sign the Live Comedy Association’s open letter to the Fringe Society, stating: “We feel little has been done to actively improve the fringe experience for participants – and now it’s becoming increasingly difficult to justify the expense of taking part.”

Donagh Horgan, from the University of Strathclyde, has been investigating the fringe as part of European Commission research into the impact of tourism on social exclusion. Researchers conducted focus groups with performers and hospitality workers. The results surprised Horgan: rather than benefit from the festival’s growth, he says, performers have become its main customers. “They are paying for themselves – and putting themselves in unsafe positions. The landlordism has got worse.”

Landlords, including the city’s universities, let out buildings for both performances and accommodation, but no one regulates costs or conditions. “A lot of infrastructure around the fringe,” says Horgan, “happens in the context of low accountability and profit-making.” A 2018 Fringe Society survey found many workers were paid below the minimum wage, while one firm, C Venues, was denied the right to run a university-owned venue in 2019 after allegations of exploitative working practices.

Claire Stone attended the fringe as a director in 2017. When the actor she was working with received rude responses after questioning venue fees, Stone started the Cost of Edinburgh project. “I set it up to ask, ‘What are people paying?’ No one could tell you whether there had been a year-on-year increase in venue fees. There is no oversight. That is problematic. Nobody really knows where the money is going. It’s not going to the performers: very few break even, even fewer will be a huge success.”

Stone conducted a survey of 368 artists in 2018. Nearly three-quarters described the costs of performing at the fringe as unfair. Accommodation and venue were the two biggest expenses, on average totalling over £4,000. Beyond ticket sales, self-funding was the most common way artists covered costs. Participants ended the month with an average £812 loss.

This, said 65%, had a negative impact on wellbeing. Two respondents reported feeling suicidal. “Ultimately,” says Stone, “only certain people can afford to take that risk. You’re not going to get working-class artists taking work to the fringe. Then, because so much work is programmed there, that’s going to have massive impact on industry diversity.”

Jenan Younis, who started doing standup four years ago, thought comedians had to do the fringe to be taken seriously. “I’ve spoken to producers and commissioners, and without thinking twice they say, ‘You must do Edinburgh.’ When I ask why, they can’t give me a good reason.”

It was a daily slog to fill the room and, without industry connections, she felt “lonely” – something other comedians echoed, telling me that being working class, neurodivergent or a non-drinker can also hinder networking. “Long gone are the days where you can go up as a nobody and come out with contacts and opportunities,” says Younis. “There’s a myth around Edinburgh in comedy – that it’s necessary.”

Docksey says the fringe can trap performers in a “weird life cycle” of saving for, performing at, then recovering from the festival. “This year, I don’t have the resources. But also, I didn’t want my whole year to revolve around Edinburgh.” Evans says comedians with day jobs find themselves “saving money and days off for the fringe. The tendrils of Edinburgh go into the rest of your life.”

The Fringe Society unveiled its development goals last month. Among these is the target to be an “equitable fringe”, meaning “who you are and where you are from is not a barrier to attending or performing”. Shona McCarthy, chief executive of the society, tells me: “I don’t disagree with any of the things the artists are saying. It is expensive to stay in Edinburgh. The fringe is a risk.” Making the festival more accessible will require “a massive collective effort”, she adds. The society has lobbied on such issues as exploitative working practices and accommodation costs, leading to some wins – including capping charges for 1,200 rooms for performers at £280 per week.

"The Fringe Society can only do so much,” adds McCarthy. “We’re a small charitable organisation ourselves. The collective Edinburgh festivals are a major global event and I still think that that’s not taken seriously enough.” Whereas the Olympics receive major public investment, that does not happen for the fringe. “People expect us to behave like we’re a curated arts festival with huge amounts of public funding. That’s not what the fringe is.”

Nevertheless, she believes performers can still get a lot out of a fringe run: “It’s still an extraordinary leveller. This is still a festival where people come to be discovered. The fringe does represent a place where people can express themselves freely, among a respectful community. There’s nothing else like it on the planet.” But performers need to understand the costs and risks. “People do have to come into it with eyes wide open and weigh up the risk, because it is not cost-neutral. It’s better for people to make an informed choice and say, ‘I’m not ready’ or ‘This isn’t right for me.’”

Many more individual anecdotes in the link, I've edited for length.

[a-funny-little-sunflower]

Yandere Elves stuck in Mandos Au Part 1

In this Au, our lovely Yandere Elves are now in Mandos domain, some are there for longer than others but the thing to remember is that they are currently unable to leave, but it is possible to break out, but keep in mind that this is an incredibly difficult feat. So, unless they manage to escape, they are unable to see their darling, and because these elves are Yandere’s, this face upsets them incredibly.

The elves that are currently being kept in Mandos is Feanor, Fingolfin, Celegorm, Fingon, Glorfindel, Finwe, Maedhros, Maglor and many more! Requests are open for more elves so don’t be afraid to ask! They don’t even have to be canonically in Mandos.

So, because of this, misbehaviour in Mandos began to run rampant and arguments, as well as physical fighting, broke out easily.

Now, Mandos decided that he needed to find a way to stop this, so he set up a reward system to keep the elves in check. One of the first few things put in place was the production of pictures in the likeness of the elves s/o. The reward system was simple, if you behave well, you get pictures of your s/o.

The pictures quickly became a hot commodity in Mandos. Can't see your darling? Pull out that photo and try not to get anything on it.

However, some of the elves decided that a simple picture of their s/o was much too common of a thing to have, and the more elite elvish residence of Mandos decided to commission portraits of their s/o. That way, they could have control over what position their s/o was in or what level of clothing they were in.

However, not everyone can afford such high price portraits and so Mandos decided that he would start offering a catalogue of care packages! These care packages can vary but the cheapest one usually consists of a small magazine similar to a playboy one, except, it’s all hand-painted pictures of the s/o.

As well as that they usually have a recording of the s/o’s voice, a fleshlight, a plant that allows the owner to have more realistic and lifelike dreams of their s/o and an article of clothing belonging to their s/o. The more expensive the care package is, the more things are included.

When it comes to the making of said portraits, no one wants to be the painter for Feanor's s/o. He's already got a critical eye before Yandereness. Can you imagine if you mess up her face or something like that? If you mess up a single feature of his beloved, he's gonna mess up your entire bodily anatomy.

However, Mandos sees the potential to expand the lines of communication once more. Mandos has recently installed a Palantir so that the Elves can communicate with their s/o’s. Some of the families even have Palantir in their quarters.

Palantir’s are used for facetime or sending messages to s/o. The Palantir glows in preparation for an incoming message, and it’s even possible to send ‘gifts’ or audios with the Palantir. However, there aren’t enough Palantir’s for everybody. They are normally used by the elite, like princes or elven lords. But Mandos has to decide who gets them since there's a limited quantity.

The problems about the Palantir’s starts when there isn't enough and Feanor keeps hogging all the airtime. This leads Fingolfin to confront Feanor by saying, “stop hogging the Palantir, I want to talk to my s/o too!”, which quickly develops into pushing and shoving.

Eventually, the solution they came to at council is that Feanor will be last in line to use it due to his offences of hogging airtime. If he tries to go before his turn, the Palantir will not respond to him and not send his messages, it acts as a phone without service.

(A more detailed post on the Palantir is coming soon!)

When you are unwilling to send gifts in the beginning, each of the elves reacts differently.

Some Yandere have no shame and will outright demand audios or pictures of you, but this rudeness causes Mandos to hover over them and threaten to take the Palantir away, causing the elf in question to get bitchy and glare at Mandos.

In retaliation, Mandos would snatch the Palantir, and nobody gets it. He puts it on a high shelf in his office...Which results in the elves getting on each other’s shoulders to get at it.

Eventually, Mandos decided that he will allow visitors in, which means that the elves finally get to see their s/o! In advance, Mandos set up a system that goes as follows. If you were on good behaviour, you get these rewards:

•You get to see your s/o.

•You get a calendar to mark down the days until the next visit.

•You get more time to rail the reader.

•The ability to send their s/o letters and being allowed to have pictures and painting of their s/o in their room.

Feanor’s s/o doesn’t want to visit him at first, but eventually, they are forced to go because Feanor isn't behaving and Mandos is tired of it. So, they sent Eonwe to retrieve them.

Feanor would be a combination of happy yet disappointed if s/o had to bring to Mandos by force to visit him. He would be happy that you're there but when finds out that you were forced on him, he would feel so hurt.

When visiting finally does begin, it's utter madness. Mandos would have chains over the door whenever the reader comes to visit, especially if they are visiting Feanor. Mandos is very happy about you being there because Feanor is always on good behaviour whenever you’re there. As well as that, Feanor would rail the reader for hours on end when they come to visit.

When it comes to Fingolfin, he would be tamer if his s/o were to visit him. He understands that he just died, and they've been separated, so he’s willing to wait a while, or at least, after the 2nd or 3rd visit...then he just wants to rail his s/o and be warned, Fingolfin will make it so you can’t walk for a while.

Some Yanderes like Celegorm would try to keep their s/o with them in Mandos for longer by wearing out their legs. Glorfindel will just tie you to the bed to keep you there. However, there would be some Yandere like Fingolfin and Fingon who might let you go but the thought of you all to themselves might be too tempting.

When it comes to making excuses for not visiting, there are many different ways to go about doing it.

Say you had an argument with your yandere, and you decide to punish them by not coming back for a visit, you could do that, but then the elf might act up and Mandos would bring you back by force.

If you make the excuse that you’ve been sick, you better get ready for puppy eyes, tears and begging you not to leave when you finally do come to visit.

If you use the “I’m pregnant” excuse with Celegorm to explain why you haven’t or won't visit, he will break out to come to see you. Also, if you are telling the truth about being pregnant when you finally give birth and come to visit again, Celegorm would put his dick inside you from behind while you breastfeed your child.

If you and Feanor or Celegorm have had a baby, they would be expecting to see their child on visits, and they will also want for you to stay for longer so they can have more family time.

Now when it comes to leaving, your yandere doesn’t want you to go so they may try to trap you there. Now you could try to plead with Mandos to help you leave but he might just keep her there to save himself the trouble of having to deal with a misbehaving yandere.

However, the s/o can leave if they're fast enough. By that I mean, if they can get to the gates before the hourglass runs out, they can go home but that includes running across the hall with fluids dripping out. As well as that, their legs would be aching because of how much their yandere had railed them.

But say you do manage to escape, the yandere’s only source of contact with you will be by using the Palantir, and as soon as they’ve realised that you’ve escaped, they will be demanding that you send them audios, pictures, the works.

However, you may be unwilling to send pictures of yourself, so you may decide to send fake pictures, and by that, I mean, sending a picture of someone else, for example, a picture of the famous porn actress Belle Delphine could be used.

If you sent a fake picture to Feanor, he would immediately be like “Who is this? This isn’t you; her chest is lopsided, and her body is unproportionate!” He would then proceed to demand Mandos return that picture, even though Feanor already used his weekly time at the Palantir.

With Fingolfin, the only time he gets pissed is when he doesn't get his visits from s/o or if he gets pictures of Belle Delphine. He doesn’t want those; he wants audios of his s/o in the millions. (I’m serious, he’s pulled a dagger on Mandos and demanded hours’ worth of audios of you touching yourself before.)

If you constantly make excuses to not see Fingolfin, he will break into Rivendell and bring a vibrator with him. You can try to run from him, but Fingolfin is already chasing you throughout Rivendell.

This man would be full feral at this point, he hasn't had you in God knows how long so the second he grabs you; he’ll take you to the floor to rail you. Doesn't matter if you're in public or not.

(After this incident, Elrond and Erestor make the place of limits. So, because of this, a black market of bribery emerges. Erestor takes bribes of books and silence in his library.)

When sending things to Finwe, his preference is breast pictures or pictures of your face on the brink of orgasm. If you think playing play dumb will work with him, and decide to say, “What's an orgasm?” jokes on you, he has a corruption kink, and it turns him on when you pretend not to know what he's talking about.

If you didn’t send Finrod any goods it would upset him because he thought that you loved him and would want him to be a part of everything, and he thought that you loved him enough to send such photos.

On the unlikely occasion that a Palantir ends up sending your nude picture to another elf on accident, if that elf teases the Yandere, or says that they enjoyed the picture, they're gonna wind up dead.

Now eventually, the elves are allowed to leave Mandos. After leaving Mandos, all this portrait and audio business would be something that the elves never discuss. Everyone knows that they did it, but no one talks about it, if it’s even hinted at in public every elf in the vicinity freezes.

At least until Mandos starts expanding his services….

You see, Mandos realised the potential of his reward system and the thought eventually hit him. Why not expand?

So, in short, Mandos has become the Hugh Hefner of middle earth. It all started as a reward system. Now they’re expanding their services to living people. Hey, you're on guard duty in Lothlorien or fighting orcs in Rivendell? Well go to your local Palantir and order a portrait of your s/o. They have a Maiar deliver it straight to you, and if you're royalty, one of Manwe's eagles will have it delivered to you.

He even has bargains, like you know those 75% per cent off Bath and Bodyworks sale? Mando’s would so do that. Like 75% discount on catalogues and portraits.

Every 100 years or so Mando’s would clear out all the portraits and put them in catalogues. He would sell them to humans since it would seem new to them. Therefore, Mando’s saves money on making new material.

A quote from Mandos:

A Maiar: Is this even allowed?

Mandos: Don't care. I got a business to run.