#why the FUCK would he go against his own damn advice wasn’t it bc he was in pain and petty and

[watchyourbuck]

Technically I could freak out about the possibility of Eddie calling Buck ‘brother’ in the hand to shoulder still of the new ep BUT im choosing to think that if it does happen, it could lead to Buck’s big big biggg ‘oh, that doesn’t- doesn’t feel right’ moment

[mythiccheroacademia]

—lunch box

A/N: just another cute idea i had because i’m obsessed with barbarian/dragon king!bakugo and fantasy shit in general. some context: you and bakugo are betrothed—although, sometimes you wish you weren’t bc he can be a real asshole. luckily for you, he’s willing to work on it bc he likes loves you just that much. a litte angst (it wouldn’t be a mtha story without it) but it ends in fluff <3

Warnings: cursing

Your friends looked at their food with heart eyes and dug into the neatly wrapped box with fever.

“Ahh! Thank you for making this, Y/N!” one of them exclaimed. The other could only nod in agreement, too into your cooking to speak.

You smiled and waved them off. “It was nothing. Consider it a thank you for letting me copy the homework last night,” you chuckled.

“Did you cook one for Prince Bakugo? I’d imagine he’d love it! If there’s anyone’s cooking he loves more than his own, it’s yours!”

At the mention of his name, your expression fell. You looked down at the case of food you had prepared for him as an apology.

Four days ago, you two were hanging around his residence. You managed to get him to dance around with you. Well, it more like you were dancing and he was doing his best not to combust in embarrassment. Katsuki warned you that you shouldn’t be too reckless otherwise you’d break something.

Of course, you paid him no mind, too enthralled with your fun to notice your proximity to a nearby statue—one of the Bakugo family’s treasures.

One thing led to another, and you knocked it over, shattering it before either of you could even react. Your rich skin lost its glow and your boyfriend cursed something nasty.

Least to say, his parents were not happy. But instead of being rightfully scolded, Bakugo had taken the blame for it.

They found him attempting to clean it up and assumed it was his fault. You wanted to correct them, but he threw you a nasty glare, sealing your mouth shut. He was now under punishment until they deemed fit and from then on, he hadn't spoken a friendly word to you.

A little sigh escaped your lips. Your two friends looked at each other before offering you encouraging smiles.

“Hey,” one spoke, placing a hand on your knee. You met her gaze. “You should go give it to him. He’d love it.”

There was a moment of silence before you decided to act. Taking the spur of confidence, you stood up and briskly made your way to the other classroom. Just before you entered, you heard his voice and felt your heart waver with anxiousness.

However, now wasn’t the time to let doubt consume you. Things wouldn’t get better until something was done.

You took a deep breath, calming your nerves, before opening the door and walking in. Your eyes scanned the room and found the young dragon prince amongst his group of friends.

Jaw set, you walked over to them, hands firmly around the packaged food.

Kirishima saw you first and gave you a friendly wave.

“Hey Princess L/N!”

“Hi boys! How’re ya doing?” you politely asked, putting on your best smile.

They gave you an upbeat answer that lifted your spirits.

Despite that, you hadn't heard a response from Bakugo. In fact, he hadn't even looked at you—but you wouldn’t be disheartened. You fueled herself with faux confidence and held out the dish to your betrothed.

“I-I made you something small yesterday, as an apology,” you stuttered.

Katsuki finally looked up, indifference in his stare. Ruby eyes flickered down to the box filled with rice, chicken, vegetables, and a small pastry on the side. His favorite kind. For a moment, he seemed like considered your offer, but you suffered the low blow of humiliation when he turned away to look through the window.

“Thanks, but I’ve already eaten. Should’ve given it to me earlier.”

Something in your stomach fell. Crushing rejection blossomed up your throat with each passing second. His words were cold, harsh, and unforgiving. It might’ve been stupid, overdramatic even, but it hurt.

Heartbroken wasn’t even the word.

Your nose burned, eyes blurring before you could stop it. Your chest tightened with embarrassment. Luckily, you mustered enough strength to hold in whatever was threatening to crumble you.

“Oh,” you dumbly responded.

“I’ll take it!” Kaminari excitedly said.

“No, I will! I’m still starving!” Kirishima chided.

You placed the box down, struggling to keep up your act.

“Split it between the both of you. I hope it’s good!” You internally winced over how high your voice had become. “I’m gonna to get going now. I’ll see you guys after school, yeah?”

And before anything else was said, you bolted straight out of the room. You hadn’t bothered to look at Katsuki. Knowing him, he probably hadn't noticed the strain in your voice.

As soon as you were out of sight, the tears flooded. You held your hands against your mouth, desperate to muffle your cries. You quickly took you into the nearest bathroom and you prayed no one had seen you lest there be questions. If you went to your friends, it’d cause a commotion. Your parents would eventually find out and you didn’t want any more problems.

So, you cried your eyes raw and eventually willed yourself to stop when it was time to return to class.

…

The week had gone by without another interaction. The weekend brought you some relief since you wouldn’t be forced to see Katsuki’s face for the time being. Or so you thought.

All you wanted to do was run some errands for your parents and then go back home and continue sulking. Yet the universe would not let you rest.

The moment you caught Bakugo’s eyes, you pivoted on your heel and booked it the other way. You assumed his anger with you would force him to keep his distance.

But you were thoroughly surprised to find he was following after you.

“Y/N,” he called.

Irritation and hurt filled your chest. You only walked faster, clutching the purse against her chest.

“Y/N, stop,” he demanded to which you promptly ignored.

This went on for a good thirty seconds until Bakugo decided he had enough. Without much noise, he ran up to you, grabbing you by the shoulder.

You weren’t having it.

You harshly shrugged off his hand. “Don’t touch me,” you snapped, keeping your eyes forward.

“I need to talk to you,” Katsuki grumbled.

“Well I don’t want to talk to you. So maybe some other time.”

Truthfully, the crowned prince found himself shocked at your coldness. Despite your innate boldness, he wasn’t used to such an icy tone. Especially directed at him.

His father warned him to never attack in these situations, but Bakugo let his temper get the best of him. His first reaction was to frown and deal back harsher words.

“What’s your fucking problem, dumbass? When I say stop, stop!”

A spike of anger flooded your veins. You whirled around on your heel and glared at him with frosty eyes. You felt compelled to drop your papers and slap him, but instead, you settled for a finger in his face.

“First of all, I’m not some dog you can just order around, you jerk! And just because we’re betrothed doesn’t mean I’m some girl you can treat like dirt whenever you feel like it! Until you apologize, leave me alone because my only problem right now is you. Bye.”

And just as quickly as you came, you turned to leave.

Now Bakugo was actually stunned. Forget, cold, this was a side of you he hadn't ever experienced. Admittedly, he hadn’t been spoken to like that from anyone besides his mother—and she only got away with it because she was not only the queen…but he was his mom.

Katsuki honestly didn’t know how to handle it. It was only then that he concentrated back on his father’s advice. Whenever his mother was upset with his dad, his father would fight back, but never with emotional anger. Always with humbleness and an understanding tongue.

It usually did the trick considering his mother could never stay upset with him for more than a night. It always struck the teen with hidden awe. Sometimes, Katsuki thought his dad was an angel.

Bakugo was no angel, but he hoped it’d have the same affect on you.

The blonde teen softened his face and walked up behind you. He stopped you, wrapping his arms around your waist to lie his forehead against the decorated braids the fell down your back.

“Damn it. I’m sorry okay?” he lowly said, face burning from such a public display of affection. “Just hear me out.”

You didn’t speak and he clenched his jaw.

“Please.”

You inwardly cursed your rapidly beating heart. If it weren’t for how stupidly nice being in his arms was (he was definitely working out more), and the fact that you found him kinda cute begging for your permission, maybe you wouldn’t have caved in so easily.

For now, you’d blame it on the fact that you two were destined to wed. It was better to start dealing with fights now so, hopefully, the future held less of them.

You heaved a sigh, unwillingly ignoring your body’s urge to curl in his arms. Instead, you pulled away and turned to face him. You peered into unsure crimson eyes with as much harshness you could conjure.

“Fine. Speak,” you permitted.

There was a small pause as he gathered his thoughts. When he opened his mouth, you instantly regretted it.

“I’m still mad at you for being dumb and breaking one of family’s treasures. And I’m still fucking pissed that my old hag is on my ass about it,” he started and noticed how your eyes narrowed in contempt.

You were about to turn away, thinking this was a waste of time. However, Bakugo took a hold of your wrist before you could leave.

“Leave me alone! If you didn’t want to get in trouble, you should’ve just let me take the blame. I can't believe I thought you’d apologize—“

“Let me finish, princess.”

It was your title, yet you felt your stomach flip when it came from his lips. You refused to let it influence you…but you’d give him another chance.

Bakugo stepped closer to you. “I’m upset, but I took the punishment because I wanted to. You didn’t mean to break it. Accidents happen, I understand that.”

There was a pregnant pause. Then, you softened your gaze a bit, eyes still lit with inquiry. “Why? Why would you do that if it meant getting in trouble? I could’ve taken the blame just fine.”

“Y/N, you freak the fuck out whenever you don’t get a perfect score on an exam. You try not to mess up and when you do, it’s like the world is ending,” he explained with a teasing smirk. You ungracefully snorted. He had a point. “When you broke the vase, I could hear your heart drop. You were two seconds away from crying. And when I saw how scared you looked I just—I don’t know.”

The look on your face was something between shock, surprise, and wonder. You blinked, thick lips parting slightly in awe.

“Katsuki…” you breathed to which the boy heavily blushed. Realizing how sappy he sounded, his mind screamed at him to cut it out.

Bakugo looked down and noticed he was still holding your wrist. He quickly let go and instinctively rubbed the nape of his neck.

“D-don’t be dramatic. I just didn’t wanna see you moping around or some shit. My father said that it wasn’t that important anyway…the vase I mean,” he mumbled.

Sure it wasn’t, you thought. What were you gonna do with this boy?

You supposed an apology was a good start.

“That was very nice and admirable of you Katsuki. Thank you,” you eventually said. “I’m still really sorry about the vase, and for being mean to you just now.”

He shook his head. “I know, but I’m the one that should be apologizing. I ain’t hafta treat you the way I did. I was being an ass for not accepting the food you made for me earlier.”

“Yeah you were, ya bastard.”

He chuckled at that. “The two idiots wouldn’t stop raving over how good it was.”

“Well, I had the best teacher in the kingdom,” you grinned.

“And I had an even better student,” he winked.

Your smile widened. Maybe marrying him wouldn’t be so bad.

You couldn’t help yourself when you heartily embraced him, enjoying how his arms slowly slithered around the small of your back. Your eyes met and you kissed him on the lips, leaving him with a little gasp. You pulled away and giggled under your breath.

“You know, you're a sweet guy underneath all that false bravado.”

“False brav—what the hell are you going on about!?”

Ignoring his explosive behavior, you readjusted the straps on your shoulder before turning on your heel.

“Don’t bring anything for lunch on Monday, okay? I’ll see you later, blondie.”

Despite his little tantrum, Bakugo still watched you disappear into the store with a gentle expression. You gave him more headaches than he cared for, but you were worth it. Besides, he was sure you could say the same for him.

Bakugo turned to leave and passed his fingertips over where your lips touched his own.

He’d never admit to the giddiness in his chest. He’d take that shit to the grave.

[realcube]

trying to be nice to their crush hcs

navi | masterlist | taglist

thank you to 🍦anon for this cute request!

characters: tsukishima, kyōtani, sakusa & suna

content warning: swearing & sexual references 

kei tsukishima 

♡ this is all yamaguchi’s fault （︶^︶）

♡ he found out tsukki had a crush on you bc he mentioned you a lot in conversation so yamaguchi interrogated him for answers then lo and behold, the beanpole had a lil thing for you 

♡ you sit in front of tsukishima in homeroom while yamaguchi sits beside him so when you leaned back and asked him if you could borrow a pencil and he spat back a snarky remark about you being too irresponsible to care for your own pencils, yamaguchi hastily offered you one of his own before scolding tsukishima 

♡ he explained to his clueless friend that being nasty to people isn’t a good way to get them to like you 

♡ so perhaps he should be nicer :)

♡ honestly, tsukishima would’ve just looked yamaguchi straight in the eyes and went ‘no’, if it wasn’t for the fact you shot tadashi the sweetest smile anD PLAYFULLY BLEW HIM A KISS AFTER HE JUST GAVE YOU A DAMN PENCIL LIKE WTF 

♡ after that, he decided to give up his current personality and pick up a new one 

♡ jk jk 

♡ but he had to binge a whole bunch of those youtube psychology videos that are like ‘psychological tricks to make people like you’ and ‘THESE 5 MIND TRICKS WILL MAKE YOU THE MOST POPULAR PERSON *EVER*’!!

♡ spoiler alert: he wasn’t the most popular person but perhaps that was bc he only went to the effort of using those tricks on you 

♡ god bless him; he tries hard, he really does. (not his best, just hard)

♡ but you don’t have to be extremely observant to realise that he’s began acting different around you and of course, it confused you seeing tsukishima being nice

♡ what irritated you was how dismissive he was being of your questions though, as he was clearly trying to lead you to believe that you were crazy and he’s just always been a nice guy 

♡ but as soon as he figures out that he angered you, he’ll instantly switch back to him normal self - draining his mind of the hours of phycology studying he did last night to just pretend like it never happened 

♡ and if he’s feeling flirty, he might be extra mean to you （￣︶￣）

♡ also he makes a mental note to never take yamaguchi’s romance advice ever again 🙄

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you sighed, removing your hand from your bag after desperately rummaging through it in search of a pencil once again - deja vu. once you accepted that a pencil wasn’t going to materialise out of thin air, you peered over your shoulder and tapped the corner of yamaguchi’s desk, who wore a suspicious grin which you decided against questioning. 

“yamaguchi, do you think i could borrow a pencil again? sorry, this is the last time, i swear. i’ll be sure to get some on my way home after school tod--” 

yamaguchi dropped the line him and tsukishima had rehearsed many times beforehand, while clutching his pencilcase dear to his chest, “woah, (y/n). you’re so irresponsible. sorry, i can’t lend one of my pristine pencils to someone who is too forgetful to remember to buy some; what if you forget to return it to me?” 

tsukishima cringed at how forced it sounded but he couldn’t help but admire yamaguchi's dedication to his role. this allowed tsukishima to swoop in, pencil in hand, “here.” that wasn’t in the script but he panicked! okay, now, eye contact. 

you just sat there and stared at both of them with the most dumbfounded look plastered on your face. what just happened?  why were they both acting like they were in drama class?  and why are they both so bad at acting? they’re both passing performing arts for fucks’ sake!

kentarō kyōtani 

♡ sorry but i firmly believe kyōtani is the sorta guy to be extra mean to ppl he fancies smh

♡ the rest of them just act (somewhat) like themselves around their crush but kyōtani is himself2 (himself^2)

♡ like one time yahaba found you trembling in your locker bc you had gotten mud on mad dog’s white shoes so he chased you through the hallways of the school, threatening to trek mud on your forehead 

♡ yahaba took it upon himself to investigate as to why kyōtani was so rude to you and he got his answer as soon as he mentioned your name to mad dog and the boy’s face immediately flushed red 

♡ so after practise, yahaba schools mad dog on how to get chicks (⌐■_■)

♡ in short, his advice was ‘good guys get laid’ and for kyōtani’s understanding, ‘good’ and ‘kind’ were interchangeable 

♡ mad dog wasn’t completely oblivious to how he treated you and he was aware that he was far from ‘kind’

♡ although he usually doesn’t listen to people in general, yahaba seemed to know what he was talking about so he figured there was no harm in trying to be nice 

♡ but ngl, he just spent the rest of the day wondering...what is kind?

♡ after a few messages back and forth with yahaba, he figured that the best place to start was by apologising for - y’know - chasing you around the whole school 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“oi!” kyōtani bellowed through hallway, paying no mind to the students that cast him dirty looks as his sights were locked on you. standing unsuspecting by your locker, stuffing your textbooks into your bag until you heard his deep voice echo through the hall, to which you visibly perked up and began frantically looking around.

he marched towards you, hands in pockets and when you noticed him out of the corner of your eye, you were more than ready to drop all your shit and bolt away. but he didn’t let you as before you were able to take off on your heels, he grabbed your shoulder and spun you around to face him - then he noticed your hands raised in defence by your face and your head hung low.

his heart sank and his grip on your shoulder immediately softened, “i’m not gonna punch you, idiot.” he spat, rolling his eyes and gritting his teeth, trying to appear angry in hopes you’d mistake his light blush for pure rage. 

“i just wanted to say that i felt bad for chasing you through the halls yesterday - you didn’t stand a chance so i guess it was a bit unfair.” he said, frowning as you replied with silence so the duty fell on him to fill it, “and i got the stain out, anyway so.” 

more silence. lovely.

suddenly, he puffed his cheeks out as his eyes snapped to meet yours and he roared, “ARE YOU GONNA FUCKING SAY SOMETHING OR ARE YOU TOO BRAINDE-”

“are you wearing eyeliner?” 

and that was the true story behind why you missed last period, because you and kyōtani had a 30 minute conversation about eyeliner and make-up, then he convinced you to skip the rest of class with him so he could buy you ramen as an apology gift.

so yeah, he figured that perhaps he should try being nice more often.

kiyoomi sakusa

♡ he didn’t need someone to tell him to be nicer, he’s just predisposed to attempt to show kindness to someone he is fond of

♡ in his mind, showing kindness, respect and stripping himself of all his personality = the only way to be desirable 

♡ (ofc this takes place before he meets atsumu tho lol)

♡ so it’s not the realisation that’s the problem for him, it’s the execution 

♡ like how is he supposed to be nice without either sounding creepy or condescending? 

♡ *cut to sakusa practising in the bathroom mirror* ‘your hand looks- no-’ he scoffs, flicking cold water onto his face, ‘your hair looks cool- pretty- nice?’

♡ *camera pans to sakusa laying in bed, staring intently at the ceiling while imagining vivid and scarily detailed scenarios about ways he could mess up while talking to you* 

♡ *camera zooms in on sakusa’s face as he manifests a nicer version of himself*

♡ he might - depending on how insecure he is - watch one of those psychology videos or read a wikihow for help

♡ but other than that, he independently tries to alter his personality in order to gain your favour bc..true love ?

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you smiled as a basketball rolled up to your feet during gym class, followed by the sound of someone approaching you and upon raising your gaze, your eyes met sakusa’s unmistakable black ones. his face hovered only a few inches away from yours due to the fact you had both reached down to pick up the ball at the same time.

he quickly pulled himself away, tucking the basketball under his elbow as he adjusted his mask so it properly covered his face to ensure that you didn’t see the light blush slowly spreading across his cheeks. he then proceeded to blurt out what he had been rehearsing for the past few nights, “oh, thank you, (y/n). your hair looks lovely today, by the way.”

you giggled, holding your hands firmly by your side to avoid fidgeting and making it obvious that his sudden comment flustered you, “thanks, sakusa. and, if we’re handing out compliments today, i didn’t know you were good at any sport other than volleyball but you’re doing surprisingly well at basketball.” you joked, your lips slowly curling into a cocky smirk, “though, i don’t think you’d stand a chance against my team.” 

god, you’re such a tease. you make it so hard for him to be nice to you. so, of course, your comment returned his ability to utter almost every sarcastic comment that comes to mind - screw being likeable. “you think so?” he quirked a brow, tossing the ball onto your lap then pacing backwards, “go on, then.”

rintarō suna

♡ it was probably those tips on social media that told him he has to be nicer 

♡ and plus he saw terushima get all the chicks and he was just sitting there like ‘where are my bitches at? 🥺’

♡ anyway, all the guys on social media that had girls lining up outside their door always had one thing in common: misogyny  obnoxious personalities !!

♡ and his whole personality was a sacrifice suna was willing and ready to make for just a crumb of cooch  🤲

♡ though you weren’t exactly his crush yet, suna thought you were the best person to carry out this experiment with bc he heard through the grapevine that you had a crush on him so perhaps this would make you happy

♡ he didn’t prepare much beforehand though which he immediately regretted as soon as he approached you bc admittedly, his game plan of ‘be self-assured but friendly’ was a bit vague 

♡ so he basically just had to bullshit through a whole, awkward conversation with you while wearing a forced ‘bold’ smirk which, in reality, looked as though he had just seen tiddies for the first time 

♡ hardly self-assured or friendly 

♡ also, the fact you thought he was playing a prank on you must’ve drastically altered the results of his experiment 

♡ at one point he says something extremely stupid you’d just quit playing along and just blurt out ‘wtf is wrong with you today’

♡ to which he’d be like ‘ahaha, nuthin much bbg, how bout you?’

♡ THE EXPERIEMNT ISN’T OVER UNTIL HE SAYS IT’S OVER OKAy?!

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you rubbed your temples in order to soothe the throbbing headache suna gave you simply by existing. like yes, you had a crush on him 10 minutes ago - but that was before he came up to you and started acting like terushima on dodgy medication. “oh and your skin is glowing bab--”

“jesus christ, rintarō, shut up!” you cried, gripping the edge of your skirt to prevent your self from delivering a swift punch right to his stupid face. he’s seriously gotten on all your nerves at this point; firstly, by spamming your phone in the middle of the night asking for homework answers (accompanied by cursed memes) as he actually managed to wake you up. secondly, by acting so oblivious to the fact you clearly had a crush on him and now, this!

heat rose to his cheeks in embarrassment as his creepy smile instantly fell right back into his resting bitch face, “this isn’t working, is it?” 

“what’s not working?”

suna scoffed, rolling his eyes - his façade having evidently disappeared. “this.” he sighed, looking around as if someone was going to save him before his eyes finally settled on you and he was reminded of what he wanted in the first place, his sparkle was rekindled for just a moment which caused him to blurt out, “just fuck me already, i’m not asking for much.”

[pinkjeanist]

“cooking by the book!” || katsuki bakugou

     ⇥ When Bakugou teaches 1-A how to bake a cake for an upcoming festival, you can’t help but notice how he treats you a little nicer than the others. But that’s just your crush on him talking...right? [1.6k words]

a/n: this is named after that remix of “cooking by the book” from lazy town bc no other song captures the pure essence of bakugou and reader’s relationship. this was also largely inspired by the difference in how gordon ramsay treats kid chefs vs. adult ones.[navigation]

You should have known that taking cooking lessons from Bakugou wasn’t going to be easy. However, with the way he taught you differently from everyone else, you had to admit: it could have been a lot harder.

“You’re gonna bake a cake, today.” You looked down at the empty mixing bowl before you, biting the inside of your cheek. You’d heard that baking was somewhat difficult to begin with, including (but not limited to) cake, and for Bakugou to choose that as your first proper baking session ever made you a bit intimidated (though whether you were intimidated by him or the cake was unclear).

Another school festival was coming up, and your class was expected to bake for the guests, which would have been okay if both halves of your class were competent enough to use an oven. So here you were, standing behind one of the many kitchen counters, trying not to stare too much ahead at Bakugou. You caught yourself doing that a lot on the daily, and even if you sometimes caught him doing the same, it was rude on your part. So, long before you’d even stepped foot in the kitchen, you decided that you would put your feelings aside and focus on the task at hand (which was already proving difficult).

After preheating the ovens, you all went back to your stations. You reached for the apron on the counter and slipped it over your head. Next to you, Kirishima asked his friend, “Are we supposed to do that?”

“Are you kidding me? Is that a question?” You paused in tying the apron behind your back as Bakugou raised his voice. “Yes, you dumbass! Who the hell doesn’t bake without an apron?!” 

You nodded even as his shouting wasn’t directed towards you, and again attempted to tie the apron behind your back until you realized it just wouldn’t stay tied. You almost asked Kirishima or Mina to help you before Bakugou came over to grab the strings and do it himself. You went still, and didn’t quite hear him the first time when he mumbled, “Is that too tight?” 

You swallowed. “It’s fine, thank you…” 

He moved back in front of the counters again and tied his own apron. “You each have a recipe in front of you. Don’t use it unless you need it. If you listen to me, you won’t need it at all.” 

You nodded and put your hands behind your back, not sure what else to do with them until he instructed the ten or so of you to find the flour. The others scrambled to the part of the kitchen you knew had flour somewhere around it, but you distinctly remembered there being another, smaller bag of it in a different pantry, so you went there instead. You retrieved it and presented it to Bakugou.

“Is this flour?”

He blinked. “No. That’s sugar.”

“Oh…”

“You’ll need it. Take it back to your station.”

“Oh, okay!” You smiled. Turning on your heel, you did as he instructed, and waited patiently until you were told to find the sugar (which you already had), baking soda, baking powder, cocoa, salt, and espresso powder. You tried to keep the list of the items in your mind as you turned to search for them, but found yourself at a loss. 

It was your fault for only partially-listening when Bakugou had given the instructions, but were you really to blame? He was wearing a sleeveless shirt under an apron that hugged him tight enough to show off his tiny waist. How were you supposed to have paid attention with that in front of you? 

But you wouldn’t say any of that to him- never in a million lifetimes- so you were as quiet and unassuming as possible as you took the recipe from the countertop and went over it. You knew where the flour was, and you had the sugar, but looking around the kitchen, you couldn’t spot anyone with espresso powder, which you didn’t even know was a thing that was supposed to go in cakes, but that wasn’t the point. You stood, biting your lip, until Bakugou came over again.

“What are you confused about?” His voice was a lot softer than you expected it to be, seeing as how he’d done nothing but yell at everyone else (you couldn’t blame him. Cooking was just that big of a passion for some people), but you couldn’t complain. You looked down at the recipe to avoid his eye.

“I’m not confused, I just- I don’t know who has the espresso powder.” 

Bakugou put a hand on your arm, and you tried not to melt under it as he shouted over your shoulder: “Who has the espresso powder?!”

“Is this it?” Kaminari lifted a large jar of brown powder over a sea of other bakers-in-training, which drew another rant from Bakugou about kitchen safety and do you want someone to get a concussion when you drop that?!, but you were still too focused on the weight of his hand. When he got done yelling, he squeezed your arm gently before looking down at you, and you swore you felt your heart stop before beating out of control. 

“Go and get a teaspoon of espresso powder. I’ll announce everything else, but if you forget the measurements, just look at the damn recipe.” 

You nodded and said, “Okay. Thank you, Bakugou.” 

Walking away, he muttered a quiet “you’re welcome,” and you could only smile to yourself as you looked back down at the recipe. 

Bakugou called out the measurements, and eventually, you had everything in the mixing bowl, and whisked through the powders until combined as instructed. You were then told to add milk (Bakugou measured that out for you without you needing to ask) and add two eggs (he did that for you, too) with vegetable oil and vanilla. Once you had everything in, you began to stir it, but apparently, whatever you were doing was wrong, because he moved behind you to take your hands in his on the side of the bowl and on the paddle. 

“You have to be more rough with it,” He muttered, moving your hands at a faster pace. “Or you’re gonna be standing here for three hours until it finally mixes.” 

You couldn’t even find the words, anymore. The voice that constantly nagged you in the voice told you that you were doing everything wrong, and that you were helpless for needing his assistance with each and every step, but you really couldn’t complain. Another voice told you that you were actually doing well and that he was helping you because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated, but you pushed that thought back. You knew that wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. (Could it, though? (No. No it couldn’t.))

After he decided it was mixed to his satisfaction, he stepped away and went to observe Kirishima’s bowl.

“Is it supposed to be this kinda poop brown?”

“Never fucking say that again about food. And what the fuck is this? Stir it!” Bakugou grabbed the bowl and stirred it with vigor while Kirishima stood by and laughed. He didn’t hold Kirishima like he’d held you. And as he went around to stir the bowls of others, he didn’t even lay his hands on those faring worse than you. You furrowed your brow, but elected to continue stirring to keep yourself busy. 

You were then told to put the batter in the two prepared pans in front of you, with the word “evenly” stressed after the fact. Bakugou again walked over to you as you got done. “Is this okay?” 

He huffed. “This one has more batter, but it’ll do. Go put them in the oven.” 

You nodded and put the pans in the oven, nearly dropping and spilling one on the way before catching it- but other than that, they went in smoothly. Over the next half hour, you took Bakugou’s advice and used a toothpick to check the center of the cakes, and sat on the flour-covered counters in the meantime while they baked. Bakugou came to sit by you while you twiddled your thumbs.

“You did a good job today.” 

You looked at him, then immediately back to the oven with wide eyes. “Oh. I-I feel like I messed everything up, to be honest…” 

“You did fine. You didn’t mess anything up.” He didn’t look at you, so you both kept staring at the oven, afraid of eye contact.

You hesitated before saying, “Thank you for helping me.” After a moment, you added, “You’re a really good teacher.” 

“I know.” His head whipped over to where Kaminari was about to eat a spoonful of cinnamon, and chucked a wooden spoon at his back. “Not in my kitchen, asshat!” 

You actually giggled at that, which was even more embarrassing with him looking at you afterwards. You quieted yourself soon after and shoved your hands into your lap. 

“Why do you do that?”

You blinked. “Do what?”

“You always stop laughing. You laugh enough with your friends but never with me. Stop doing that.”

“Who says you’re not my friend?” You asked before you could stop your tongue, then meeting his eye. You desperately wanted to look away, but the need for a connection with him was too strong. “You are. My friend, I mean. Uhm.”

“So laugh if I do something funny. It pisses me off when you don’t.” He hung his head to mess with his hands, and you grinned shyly to yourself as you turned away.

“Okay.”

When the cakes were pulled from the oven, Bakugou was by your side the most, helping stack the layers and frosting it with chocolate buttercream. In which, when your hand brushed against his as you frosted the cake, you didn’t shy away from him. You each stole little glances, meeting one another’s eye every now and again (which was starting to become less uncomfortable each time). 

You thought your cake was a little dry. He said it was the “best fucking thing” he’d ever eaten.

-

taglist: @keigos-dove​ @knifeewifee​ @wesparklebitch​ @bvnnyclouds​ @hanniejji​ @katsukis-sad-angel​

other tag/s: @pixxiesdust​

- dm/inbox to be added or removed from a taglist. 

[robinofinashiro]

request: “could I request some more highschool au of Reiner x reader? :) maybe something with jealousy or a bit of angst (such as a popular girl being jealous that they’re together?)”

note: IT’S HERE!! TODAYS THE DAY!! LETS FUCKING GOOOO!!! but damn, i can tell yall are thirsty for more AoT content now bc that’s all that’s in my ask box rn, LMFAOO. it’s okay tho bc I fell yall. 

requests: kinda open? 

pairing: reiner braun x fem! reader

both you and Reiner walked down the hall, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he spoke to you about his upcoming football game. you were half listening, more focused on a play you had to preform for extra credit in one of your elective classes. 

you wanted the extra credit to boost your GPA so you figured that taking a part in a roll in a English class play would be the most beneficial. you were the main love interest, someone with minimal lines to begin with. the main character was the guy you were supposed to be in love with and he did the talking for the two of you. 

“hey Reiner!” you heard a girl scream from behind the two of you. you stopped as Reiner turned around to smile at her. you weren’t the jealous type of not, not by a long shot, however; this girl came around the two of you a lot. she seemed like she knew Reiner for a while but you had yet to introduce yourself to her, “thanks for helping me in class yesterday....it was nice of you to stay behind,” she giggled. 

you tried to keep your cool, not trying to let your jealousy get to you. Annie could see you repressing the emotion as Bertl looked to Reiner. you continued to watch their interaction as you realized Reiner wasn’t looking to finish the conversation off early. 

“hey, tell Reiner I’ll catch up to him later!” you told Annie, looking to clock quickly, “I need to meet my English partner before class starts!” you mentioned before running in the other direction, hoping you didn’t make it late for class. 

Annie rolled her eyes, clearly seeing the intentions of the girl talking to Reiner. she could see that the girl was jealous of the relationship you had with him and with the few times she was around the two of you when she came up, Annie could see you getting annoyed with her. 

after Reiner finished talking to her, he quickly scanned to find you, “where’d she go?” Reiner asked. Annie sighed, “to class. she was going to be late and you know she hates being late to any class.” Reiner could tell Annie was annoyed at him but didn’t bother to pick at the reason why.

+

Reiner waited for you by the door of the classroom. he could see you reciting lines for the play you were in and bashfully smiled at seeing you. the boy on the other hand, he found himself getting annoyed with him. he knew the boys name was Colt and was in a few classes with you. 

the bell rang, making him jump a bit at the sound. you packed your things slowly before making your way out. you made your way over to Reiner, quickly grabbing his hand, “how was class?” you asked him. he shrugged, “fine, boring as usual. how was English?” he asked back. 

“great! we were just practicing for the small play we have due on Friday. you should totally come and watch! I know Mr.Smith wouldn’t mind you watching! plus, Bertl and Annie are coming to watch!” 

Reiner nodded as he kissed the top of your head. nothing made him happier than knowing that both of his friends got along with his girlfriend. he knew they could be a little bit rough around the edges but you seemed to be getting along well with Bertholdt and he saw you and Annie hanging out each others houses a few times. 

“Reiner, should we be heading to class? we have that war presentation to work on!” you heard that girls voice say. you felt your eye physically twitch in annoyance. Reiner nodded, “hey, you wouldn’t mind me going to class a few minutes early, would you?” he asked you. 

the girl had an annoyed expression written across her face, almost as if she was jealous at the two of you. you looked up to Reiner, “what else would be new?” you responded, not waiting for his response before leaving. 

Reiner looked at you stunned as the girl herself stood in silence for a moment, “what a girl you have there, Reiner,” she said, playing up her cutesy voice. he didn’t pay no mind to her, “maybe I should go see if she’s okay,” he told himself. 

the girl immediately perked up, “nonsense! she said it was okay so we should go to class!” she tried to compromise. 

Reiner nodded, taking his friends advice as they walked down the hall together. the girl had her arms on his left shoulder, hanging onto him as he remained silent almost the entire time. once they got to the class, they saw Annie and Bertholdt walking their way. 

Bertholdt immediately saw Annie’s face change as soon as she saw the girl hanging off of Reiner. “hey Reiner, where’s ( your name ),” she asked the blond. he pointed to the back of him, “she walked to class already. she seems like she isn’t having a good day though,” he murmured. 

Annie laughed, “I wonder why,” she said fully glaring at the girl. Annie and Bertl walked a bit ahead of them, Annie purposely shoving her with her shoulder, “watch yourself,” she told the girl in her ear before walking at Bertholdt’s pace. 

Bertl immediately tried to calm her down as Reiner didn’t even catch her doing it, his brain still wracking for what could have upset you. the girl now going back to talking as she looked up to Reiner who wasn’t responding, “hey, Reiner, are you okay?” she asked, “if you want to skip class and you know, talk instead, we totally can,” she offered. 

he shook his head no, “lets go to class, I’ll just deal with his later,” he told her before trying to snap out of his gaze. 

+

Reiner hadn’t seen you for the rest of the day and your texts the rest of the night were at a small minimum. you were responding very half-ass and he could still tell whatever was bothering you was still there. 

even this morning when he offered to give you a ride to school, he mentioned that you had already gotten a ride from someone. you didn’t tell him who but from the few snap videos he saw you post in the morning, it was a guy. he just couldn’t tell who. 

when he got to school, he saw you waiting for him in the front like you usually did. okay, this had to be good right? you were still waiting for him! 

“hey sweetheart,” he whispered, bringing you in for a hug and kissing the top of your head. you smiled, “hey, did you eat breakfast?” you asked, grabbing his hand and walking inside. 

he nodded, “yeah, had a protein shake and a granola bar. you?” he asked. you nodded this time, “yeah, Colt and I caught breakfast at the McDonalds by the school. lets go before we’re late to class,” you mentioned to him as he hummed. 

Reiner didn’t like the idea that you and Colt went to school together and even got breakfast on the way. that tradition was usually left for the two of you on Friday mornings. 

the two of you walked, talking about whatever came up as you reached your AP Physics class. just as you were about to reach up to give him a quick kiss, you heard that god awful voice behind you. you felt yourself physically get tense as she called Reiner’s name. 

“oh, she’s with you,” she said, giving you a look before looking up too Reiner, “want me to walk with you to math?” she asked him. Reiner waited a moment, “uh sure, let me tell her goodbye,” he said, turning around. that was when he realized that you had already stalked off and inside the class room.

he felt that sense of confusion again. Reiner had texted you during class, not receiving a text back from you in the entire 50 minutes. once the bell went off, he immediately grabbed his things, rushing to your class to see you. 

you were still in the class, thankfully talking to the teacher when you saw him. your anger grew again as you tried to leave the class, trying not to talk to Reiner. you weren’t a jealous person, not by far, but the girl was constantly around the two of you and you couldn’t remember a single time in the last two weeks when you and Reiner talked to yourselves without her interrupting. 

“hey, what happened?” Reiner asked you, cornering you in a semi-empty hallway. you rolled your eyes not in the mood to talk but you figured Reiner would just keep bugging you, “your friend is who is bothering me! she is constantly around-,” you were promptly cut off by her voice as she walked towards the two of you. 

this time you turned around, immediately putting your hand between the two of you, “you’re going to have to give me a minute,” you practically screamed, “seriously. you can have him but you know, for once, give me a second alone with my own boyfriend,” you stated as she remained stunned in silence. 

“she’s going to be the reason why we break up,” you told Reiner as his face dropped at what you were saying, “yeah, your little friend interrupting us every time we’re together is getting real fucking annoying and she’s lucky she hasn’t gotten punched yet. just know that you’re on thin ice, both of you, and honestly, if you want Reiner, you can fucking have him! remember what I told you when we first started dating! our relationship can easily end and I wouldn’t care because I don’t depend on a man to keep me happy. I can easily toss you to the side without giving a fuck, clearly like you are with me!” 

Reiner’s eyes widened, not realizing the amount of anger you were clearly holding against him. he wanted to reach out to grab your wrist but Annie had walked into the hall at the right time, taking you away as you tried to keep your tears at bay. 

Bertholdt looked at his best friend, shaking his head disappointedly, “we told you Reiner. more than once, actually. that girl was not sitting right with any of us and look at what that caused,” he said.

he nodded, not knowing what to say. he tried to process what you were saying and what you said was actually true. the girl, now that he thought of it, was constantly around him. trying to flirt with him and talking him away from you while she gave you a dirty look when the two of you were together. since Reiner was a relatively popular guy, he knew he had to keep up this nice persona for the team and maybe that was what made him not see the girls intention. 

the rest of the day went in a blur. the girl no longer around him much as Reiner tried to get your attention every second he could. blowing up your phone, trying to catch you after class, even seeing if he could drive you home but by the time the day ended, you were hopping into Colt’s car and on your way home. 

the entire night was spent with him in bed, cursing himself out as he knew he had to fix this first thing in the morning. the good thing with that was that your English class was now your first class of the day because of the play you had to do. he knew if he brought your favorite coffee and snack, that could be a way of him starting to apologize. 

the morning came as he held your snacks and drink by his chest. his friend no where in sight as he booked it to the AP English hallway. you were fixing the dress you had to wear for the play as Colt was talking to you from the hall. he could tell whatever it was the two of you were speaking about, it seemed rather entertaining as you laughed at whatever it was he was saying. 

he waited for a few minutes, watching you walk into class as he saw Bertl and Annie walking to him, “you actually had the audacity to come?” she said a bit bitterly. Reiner nodded, “I have to apologize before I lose her. you know how she is. I could be instantly dropped and she could care less if I’m hurt or not. I want her, no, I need her by my side and I want to make this right,” he exclaimed. 

Annie and Bertl were a bit surprised at his friends command. “she was extremely upset at you yesterday so I hope you know you have a lot of work to do on your end to actually make this work,” Annie spoke before walking into the class. 

Bertholdt looked at his friend before nodding and walking in with him. you saw Reiner walk in with Bertholdt, your anger instantly rising as you tried to compose yourself. Colt walked behind you, putting his arm around you, “relax and focus on the extra credit,” he whispered while the Mr.Smith turned the lights off and focused the few small theater lights on the small make shift stage. 

the play some play about love and tragedy that Reiner could have cared less about, however; the way Colt was speaking to you and holding you in some scene made his blood boil. you looked like you were enjoying it as you looked at Colt with heart eyes he felt. 

it wasn’t until the end of the play, Colt holding you close as he sang a song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaOo8m0kNvI) to you that Reiner almost about had it. the way you were dancing and kind of singing with him made Reiner want to jump over the desk to kick him a few times. the two of you holding each others hands and faces a few times, sometimes your faces almost touching is especially what killed him. 

as soon as the play finished, the few people the class clapped as you both bowed and walked into the costume room to get undressed from the clothes. they were a bit uncomfortable but you were glad the play was over with and you could finally relax. 

Annie and Bertl pushed Reiner over to you the moment after Colt left you. you stared at Reiner with a mean expression, really in no mood to speak to him, “can I ask why you’re here?” you said. 

Reiner sighed, closing the costume room door close and looking at you, “I want to apologize. I know you don’t want to hear it but please let me say this. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for her to get in our way. I didn’t really realize it until you and Annie pointed it out. I guess with being one of the most ‘popular’ guys here, I just assumed she was being nice or I had to be at least. I didn’t mean for her to get in our way and I swear I don’t even like her. she’s kind of annoying if I’m being quite honest,” he explained before taking a breath and continuing, “anyway, I bought you this in hopes you can take this as the beginning of my apology. I know I’ll probably have to work for you taking me back but I’ll whatever it is you want me to do, just please give me a second chance,” he practically begged. 

you stared up Reiner for a few seconds, leaving him in suspense before sighing, “you know what Reiner? fine, you have one chance and that’s it. if she or anyone else gets THAT close with you again, I swear I’ll get their kneecaps and before I do that, I’ll get to you first,” you said. 

Reiner nodded as he thanked you profusely. you shoved your bag to him, forcing him to carry it as you grabbed the semi-warm coffee, “you can walk me to my next class,” you said as you opened the door. 

the walk to your next class, you ran into the girl as she tried to look down at the ground and trying not to catch your eye. you laughed to yourself knowing what you must have said to her more than likely scared her off of Reiner and yourself all together. 

but it wasn’t all your doing. Annie might’ve had a few words with her after school knowing that if you didn’t intimidate her enough, she more than likely did the rest of the job well as she was now not even giving either of you the time of day. 

[aquaticalay]

I Know You Forever (Din Djarin x Reader)

Summary : Din thinks you deserve better. You ask him why.

Warning : mentions of blood, is fluff a warning?

Word count : 1.4k

Note : I found out that the Mando'a equivalent to 'I love you' is 'I Know You Forever' when directly translated. And I think it's beautiful. I literally spent a lot of time looking at Mando'a phrases for prompts 

Also, it's good to be posting here again! I decided to write a bunch of one shots before committing to a series again:)

I've reuploaded this bcs it didn't show in the tags

"You don't deserve this," Din whispered under his breath. The words were so weak from exhaustion, it was almost impossible to make out. Not to mention the distorted layer the modulator added to them.

"What do you mean?" You hummed, and it made Din somewhat furious. He did not need a mirror to tell that his face was fuming red. He wasn't angry, though. He was frustrated. How could you not see yourself the way he did? How dare you think you deserve a life of violence, when you could settle down and spend your days safe and sound? 

You were sat on the floor of the Razor Crest after a rather violent encounter with a band of pirates, stitching a cut on your bicep. There were no bacta left, so good ol' needle and thread would have to do. The wound had been gushing with blood just moments earlier, but a piece of bundled cloth and pressure did wonders to stop the bleeding. 

"You deserve better," he said, leaning on the stairs that lead to the cockpit, arms crossed across his chest. You could tell by the way his voice was briefly cut short by his own shallow breath that he was struggling to keep his own voice monotonous— that there was far deeper meaning behind the seemingly emotionless sentence.

"Do I?"

Fuck. You. 

Din hated this. He hated the way you toyed with your words. He hated that you were able to force him out of his shell, to coax his intentions and strip layers down, piece by piece, until it was bare to the very core. He hated that you always knew how to get around his secrecy.

He hated that he had a strong desire churning in his gut to open himself up to you.

Whether it was your fault or his, he did not know.

"You do," he managed to say through gritted teeth. The child was asleep in his bunk, so he did not have an excuse to get out of this conversation, like he sometimes did when things got too... intense.

"What—" you winced, cutting the final thread,— "What makes you think I deserve better, but you don't?" 

Gently, you cleaned up the excess blood and tidied the medpac. Your bruised fingers danced on the box so graciously. On their own, no one would've thought the destruction they could bring. But if they saw who those hands belonged to— if they saw you— suddenly the cuts and the discolored patches of skin from the wounds along your revealed skin made sense. Suddenly they were able to link the precision of your hands to the ferocity behind your eyes.

Unlike him, you don't hide under beskar. Your battle scars were on display as if you were proudly showing the universe how much you can take— how much you've been through.

They were like spoils of war. They told your story. Unlike Din, who would rather keep every single story he had buried deep within his heart a secret.

Din stayed quiet. He didn't really know how to answer your question. You've been in the game for as long as he has. You chose this life, like him. 

"I don't... know," he managed to say. 

But he knew. He always knew why.

He loved you. That was something that took a long time for him to come to terms with, but he finally did.

The truth is, you didn't necessarily deserve a better life than him. He just wants you to have a better life.

One of these days, you'll get hurt. It happens to everyone he has ever worked with; it was a pattern he simply could not ignore anymore. And if you go where he can't follow... he can't possibly live with himself.

"Then quit saying that, tin man," You chuckled wholeheartedly, "I'm a big girl. I can make my own decisions."

You grabbed a metal railing and pulled yourself up, only to get light headed and stumble across the floor.

You cursed under your breath. You should have expected that. You had lost a lot of blood, after all.

"Whoa," Din managed to catch you before you fell, holding your waist steady, "Easy." 

"Stupid blood loss," you managed to crack a smile. Looking into his dark T-visor, you could only imagine he was smiling with you.

Even if he was, you doubt he'd ever tell.

"You need to rest," he said softly, his thumb circling ever so slightly against your waist. You held on to his shoulder and pushed yourself away, balancing yourself to stand up on your own.

"I will."

"Now," he said sternly.

You looked straight into where his eyes would be behind the helmet. He looked so... cold. All the damn time. If it weren't for the little things— like how his body would relax when you'd place your hand on his shoulder, or how he had held you up just now, you wouldn't assume he was organic underneath.

"What?" Din asked, confused. He caught you staring.

"Nothing," you slumped back down to the floor, taking his advice on resting. "You're just— you seem cold," you blurted your thoughts out.

"I'm not," Din said, a little too defensively. His voice cracked at the thought that the only person he ever loved perceived him as heartless. 

You gave him a lopsided grin. "You're not," you agreed, "You just seem like it. If you were, you wouldn't have taken the child under your care—" you paused, trying to find the words to say next, "—If you were, you wouldn't have thought I deserved better."

But you do, Din wanted to say, you deserve the stars and moons, you deserve the universe, but you settled for this... life.

Why would any one in the right mind do that?

But he decided to keep his words to himself this time.

You watch as the quiet man slowly sat down across from you. He might not admit that he was exhausted, but you saw that he didn't hold himself as rigidly as he normally would.

He was just as tired as you were, minus the blood loss.

"I care about you," you admitted shyly, "I really do. And if I deserve anything, I deserve a lifetime of fighting by your side. I want a lifetime of fighting by your side."

Din froze. This wasn't the first you had left him speechless. 

"Din?" You called, trying to get a response out of him. His name rolled off your tongue like syrup, and it was only more meaningful because you only ever addressed him by his birth name in private.

"It would be my honor," Din finally said, "To fight by your side for the rest of my life."

Din had no fear of death. Part of being a Mandalorian is having a resolute acceptance of death. He knew that death was a matter of how and not if, so it made sense to him to be more concerned about dying a warrior's death than death itself. He was fully aware that all things age, all things die. Everything that was formed by the universe becomes one with it again, someway, somehow.

But you make him want to cling to life a little longer. 

"Din?" You called out again.

"Yes?"

"I know you forever," you hummed sincerely, leaning forward and mindlessly tracing your fingers on the cheek of his helmet.

And Din swore his heart skipped a beat.

He knew you had bought a Mando'a to Galactic Basic dictionary that included common phrases at a junkyard as a joke, and he knew you started reading it in your spare time. He assumed you were just bored. He didn't expect...

Unable to read Din's silence, you smiled sadly. "You don't have to say it back. I just wanted you to know—"

"I— I know you forever, too." He cut you off. Despite the crack in his voice, there was no hesitation.

Gently, he cupped your face, bringing you closer to him as he pressed his helmet, where his forehead would be, against yours, your warm skin nearly sizzling against the cool beskar. Din closed his eyes at first, but when he opened them a few moments later, he saw that your eyes were shut, your facial features more relaxed than he had ever seen. You melted into his arms, and suddenly he understood why people feared death.

Because now, he had you and the child. He had something to live for.

-end

[sundaeserenade]

okay! so the pokemas legendary event: father or foe. I have things to say so I will say them. and if you don’t want spoilers, uhmmm don’t read this! okay thanks okay.

first of all, i like how ghetsis just. shows up. like he’s just there. that’s great, A+ Second of all, I know the point of that battle between N, Silver, Brendan and Norman was to showcase how strong Brendan and Norman’s father-son bond was. but it’s so fucking funny to me that they’re fighting against two legendary pokemon. and they’ve got a fucking slaking and a fucking uhh sceptile like. Ho-oh is fucking fire/flying, but Norman and Brendan won??? but whatever, moving on.

glad that they put silver in this. like even with the plot point later on with giovanni, i just like that silver is here. i like silver. i like his way of speaking. because in a world of pokemon protagonists that are naive and idealistic, silver’s realism and straightforwardness is very needed. so thanks silver, for being that bro.

anyway, I love N’s answer to Ghetsis’ proposition for them to be father-son again. He says he just needs time to think. That shows such maturity. And the fact that they put that alongside Nate’s very black and white (lol) way of thinking, is good. Nate is like “Ghetsis did some fucked up shit. get him outta here” but N has history with Ghetsis and is hesitant.

and y’know what, Nate is right honestly, because Ghetsis did some fucked up shit!! I know a lot of people have not played gen 5 but Ghetsis is a BITCH!!! He’s manipulative and abusive, he said some fucked up shit to N, he tried to fuck over unova TWICE, he’s not a good dude. And it’s interesting! bc in bw2, y’know, former team plasma members are trying to make up for their crimes from the first game. and they point out that all they can do is apologize and do better, like they can try and make up for what they did and do what they can to make things right. and that’s what some of them are doing. and they acknowledge that this doesn’t like erase people’s pain or make them entitled to forgiveness.

but on the other side of that, you have ghetsis, who is not at all interested in that shit. he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong, he doesn’t want to change, fuck unova, fuck everything and everyone! So yeah! Nate is like FUCK GHETSIS and honestly, everyone should be like that but they weren’t there in unova so they get a pass.

and N is just hesitant. Because he sees that father-son bond and he wants that. he wants that connection. and think about how that resonates with so many people playing this game. like it fucking resonated with me! you want a bond with a family member that’s hurt you, and they come to you to try and make amends... and say it’s idealistic or naive or stupid, but there’s hope that it could work out this time.

ghetsis has manipulated and abused N in the past, and N knows this most of all, but he’s willing to move forward with their relationship if Ghetsis has truly changed. DAMN! that hits me hard. too many times we try and give people a second chance when they say they’ve changed, but it turns out they fucking haven’t and they hurt us all over again.

But I like that N takes the time to decide. He talks to Alder and gets his opinion, and I like that Alder is just honest as fuck about it. And N takes that into consideration, but still makes the choice himself, just like Silver advised him to. This is a choice he made after weighing his options and the outcomes.

And honestly, I was like... Ghetsis could go either way. They could keep him evil and have this be him trying to manipulate N again, OR they could pull a lusamine and have the story and the characters just forget about the abuse that he put N through and the chaos he put unova through. And I’m so happy to see that they kept him evil because HE IS evil and! He’s as fucking heartless as ever, being honest about how everyone is a tool to him.

That’s refreshing as fuck to me. After lusamine, i had no fucking hope for this game but DAMN let’s go, okay, Ghetsis staying evil? teaming up with giovanni? nice nice nice. love it.

But also, hold on, because Silver is a hero in this event. I loved hearing what he had to say, but this line that he had is so fucking important.

IM STILL IN SHOCK THAT THEY ACTUALLY SAID THIS LIKE??? idk i just wasn’t expecting it at all, and im SO GLAD they brought it up. Silver? Getting frustrated with Nate that he’s not trying to see things from N’s point of view? Nice. Very Nice. This is why I’m glad Silver’s here, because what other character would have the guts to say this? We need that blunt honesty a lot of the time. We need that straightforwardness to put some harsh truths out there.

I like that Nate stops and considers that now, they he apologizes and is like “I was thinking more about unova than about your feelings, N” and he APOLOGIZES!! LET’S GO!

There’s some good nuggets in this event, it’s so fucking GOOD.

It keeps getting better because with Alder reassuring N and offering advice, he shows that he’s more of a fucking.. father figure than Ghetsis will EVER be but he also just says that N’s grown and he’s got a good heart and N is so shocked...! He is still 100% suffering from what Ghetsis said/did to him before! because that trauma is still there! And he needs to be surrounded by people who really and truly care about him to support him now.

Okay but moving on, the Ghetsis and Giovanni team up was cool. I like how they kept summoning team break members out of nowhere?? fantastic. and of course giovanni was gonna backstab him. fucking. ghetsis you idiot, but anyway! N seeing that ghetsis is about to get his whole ass kicked and STILL stepping up to help him out?

Mm i have some mixed feelings about it, but N CAN talk to pokemon and he didn’t want anything to happen to Kyurem. And I’m glad that they put that in there and remembered that about N’s character because otherwise i’d be like “why would he help him, Ghetsis has revealed his true colors for like the third time there’s no reason to” but it also ties back into N just feeling sorry for this mother fucker and also just wanting a father figure.

but! after the battle, they leave. and Silver just glares at Giovanni and tells him to fuck off... this poor boy, but! we also have this comparison between silver KNOWING that his father will never change and that he’s not interested in changing, and now N coming to that conclusion with ghetsis. those two are not going to change. they don’t fucking care. they’re terrible people. and it’s a hard pill to swallow but silver’s already swallowed it. and now he’s helping N to get through what he’s already gone through.

so N just saved ghetsis’ ass and now they’re outside. And N says that he knows Ghetsis hasn’t changed, and if he causes trouble N will stop him. And Nate tells Ghetsis he hates him LOL and then is like why can’t you just fucking be a better person to N like for real.

and Ghetsis continues to be a sack of shit. and Nate gets upset and says something really touching, that N just wants a normal relationship with the man he calls his father. and Nate is real sensitive to this stuff, he wears his heart on his sleeve, y’know. but a lot of male pokemon protagonists are like that (gold, brendan i think?) but it’s just touching to have Nate be really invested. to have Nate and Silver both wanting to help N, and Nate is the more sensitive and idealistic of the two and Silver just adds that touch of realism. y’know, black and white?

but N is a bit of both, now. That’s what he gained on his journey, this understanding that problems aren’t so simple and that complexity is a part of life and that sometimes there isn’t a clear right answer. and sometimes things don’t go the way that you want, no matter how much you hope or wish for things to change.

and at the end... N understands that. He understands that while Ghetsis is a piece of shit and will ALWAYS be a piece of shit, he has people and pokemon around him and that’s all he needs. he doesn’t need a father. he’s just fine without one. Silver agrees, everyone fucking agrees. and it’s fucking touching. N’s got people in his life that care about him genuinely and that’s all he needs.

and that’s a real good message because first of all, Alder is right there and found family is abound, but also, it’s not pushing this fucking narrative that you should always, always forgive your family or the people who hurt you. sometimes, your family is shit! and you cut them out of your life for your own well being! many, many people have to do that. and instead of ignoring that every family isn’t the same and that people have shitty relationships with their families, this event is like “hey, everyone’s upbringing is different” and “if people who’ve hurt you aren’t going to sincerely apologize and make the effort to change, they aren’t worth your time” and “fuck ghetsis”

like those are good messages! and im mad because WHERE WAS THIS with the lusamine event??? lusamine abused both lily and gladion, but she’s okay?? she fucking almost drove the alola region into chaos but she’s forgiven?? no. i will never be about that. lily and gladion are both better off without her because i didn’t see an apology in sumo or in pokemas, the bitch just showed up and was like “okay!! we’re family!!” and even with the sumo endgame thing of lily taking lusamine to kanto to give her treatment, i need to SEE an apology and a genuine want to change

and you know what even if there is an apology? lily and gladion aren’t obligated to forgive her. it’s their choice, sure, but i think it was a choice forced onto them instead of it being something that they, as characters, seriously consider. and?? lusamine should be in jail. so.

like there’s no obligation for these kids to forgive their abusive parents. none at all. and N’s speech to ghetsis saying “i don’t think a true father-son relationship can happen between us so easily, but if you’ve had a true change of heart, show me through battle!” is so important because he wants to see for himself if there’s been a real change. N will decide AFTER the battle and after seeing ghetsis’ motivations if they can move forward.

and where was this with lily and gladion?? what did they ask or talk about with lusamine so that they know she’s being sincere?? and y’know what, where is the distrust?? especially for lily, because lusamine did some real fucked up shit!! it’s just not handled as well, and it could’ve been a great example of “kids need to get away from their abusive parents even if they promise change” because N made a choice and was hesitant but we didn’t get to see that development with gladion and lily. i know it’s pokemon, but i definitely think there’s a way they could’ve written them,, cutting lusamine out of their lives and it being like “okay, this is the best for both of us” because lusamine was a shit mother and also gladion and lily have found family in the selene, elio, hau and professor kukui and professor brunet SO.

but this event was pretty good and there were some very good moments in here. I’m glad ghetsis will stay evil and i’m glad they put silver in there as well, thanks. BUT WHERE WAS HILBERT????? WHHHHYYYYYY!!!!!

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep13 Thoughts *Spoilers*

Thoughts under cut to keep the tag clear <3

- Archie having war flashbacks 😭💔

- OH SHIT ERIC BEING IN A TRANCE AND PUNCHING ARCHIE AND ALMOST SHOOTING HIM :(

- Tabitha ❤️ I just know Betty’s going to not listen and get herself into shit because she never thinks things through. However, Betty in that trucker outfit looks so good. YUP predictable.

- Now how the fuck did Cheryl recognize Kevin in that darkness even I could barely see him fashdkfjsah also what the flying fuck Kevin?

- VEGGIE MUAH!!!!!! Though I’m taking Veronica saying “snake” as a Jeronica crumb bc I can

- CHERYL’S OUTFIT HOLY FUCK 🥵🥵🥵

- Now wait wasn’t the last last episode, Cheryl was saying how she didn’t like religion because of her mom am I just dumb what the fuck happened… god can Riverdale do anything other than annoying cults PLEASE

- Whenever Betty “investigates”, the other person always has the better plans God how did Betty become an FBI trainee...

- Wait why are they talking to Fangs, Toni owns the Whyte Wyrm...

- DOGGO 🥺🥺

- VEGAS DIED? NOOOOOO :(((

- “I’m a closer, give me a shot.” The one thing he’s wanted and he’ll get it from Veronica BYE VEGGIE IS SO ❤️❤️❤️

- Fangs ❤️❤️❤️ God he looks so fucking good ugh if only his boyfriend Sweet Pea could come back and date him smh

- Bingo? Archie’s platoon adopted a dog 🥺🥺

- Even though I’m a Jeronica first and foremost, Veggie will probably be endgame and while it sucks they never even TRIED Jeronica or gave them a chance, I won’t be upset.

- Well at least Kevin feels regret for what he did to Fangs. CHERYL DON’T TELL HIM TO GO TO “HIS MAN” NO STOP USING OTHER PEOPLE TO VOICE THE ADVICE YOU’RE MEANING TO USE FOR YOURSELF WITH TONI

- MOOSE’S BEARD… But also that’s so random but ehh better and way more interesting than Kangs tbh

- Veggie working together fucking finally!!!

- Five to fifteen damn Reggie… but fuck yeah taking her dad’s investors we love it! It took long enough for someone to finally go after Hiram like we’ve wanted this since s2

- “Ms. Posh.” WE STANNNNNNNN and again with the eggs yasss

- OMG WAIT VEGGIE IS MATCHING. IT’S THE JERONICA AGENDA

- Why are they acting like Fangs did something wrong 😭😭 you already know you’re not good together?? Just move the fuck on!

- OMG THEEY ALL LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD!!! serpent Alice is back? 👀 Kevin asking about Fangs god let him go please

- “Cardinal Rule, no one goes off with any truckers.” Okay so we know Betty’s going to do just that because she’s dumb af

- God Archie don’t be like Betty and do dumb shit...

- Tabitha owning the stage I know that’s true!! But also does anyone else know that Betty isn’t an FBI agent anymore like that is definitely gonna fuck someone else over

- You know who could be here to help? Sweet Pea.

- Veronica 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 my wife AND HER HIGH NOTE QUEEN SHIT

- Dark!Barchie so sexy but dumb

- Isn’t it interesting how good it is when Betty investigates

- ngl I thought that was Chic. NO WAY THAT GUY’S DUMB ENOUGH TO HAVE BLOOD ON HIS HANDLE… also see wbk Betty was gonna go against her own rule and do something impulsively stupid.

- this dude really isn’t hiding anything how has he gone this far… first the blood, then talking about how he likes seeing the light leave people’s eyes when they die. Also, how does he get around to kill them like wouldn’t the girl’s see in the mirror? Again stop hitting people and turning your back! Though it’s really unrealistic that they get up after a few seconds.

- This fight is actually entertaining like omg?? But I KNOW Betty’s aim would not be that good but I guess since I’m enjoying this I can let it go.

- Wanna know WHY it’s enjoyable? Because Cole isn’t in this episode and there’s no Bughead whatsoever <3

- BINGO WASN’T A DOG OH MY GOD NOOO 😭😭😭😭 ARCHIE 😭😭😭😭

- GOD BETTY HANDING HIM OVER GIVES YOU THE POLLY ANSWER?? YOU’RE SO DUMB!!! Why does she always have to be so fucking dumb and selfish… like??? Can she ever just think for once

- Why would Kevin be fired for cruising…?

- GOD LET FANGS GO MY GODDDDDDDDD this is why I’m writing a Swangs drabble about this situation where Sweet Pea and Fangs get together

- Yeah Kevin you broke up with Fangs to fix your trauma and problems… to stop cruising… that was the whole fucking point??

- THEY’RE SELLING THE DOGS TO BETTER OWNERS AWW

- Bingo 🥺💞

- Jesus Christ Superstar……………………………. someone sedate me

- OH JUST FRIENDS?! THANK FUCKING GODDDD NO MORE ROMANTIC KANGS!!!!!! FANGS IS FREE!!!!

- WIFE AND KIDS HELLO?? GOD VEGGIE IS SO CUTE

- the cinematography of Archie’s nightmares is so good tho

- ARCHIE WAKING UP TO THE WINDOW OF LIGHT??? BETTY!??!?! BARCHIE?!??! HEELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH MY GODD

- Archie hallucinating Bingo 🥺😭 “I think I need help too” OMG YES now can we get Veronica

- “You’re in Riverdale” God Betty’s so fucking weird…

[stxphxn-strange]

Creating Chaos for the Right Reason | A Shrimp Gremlin Villain!Stephen ficlet

a/n: i finished writing this and decided to post it now that I’m back from hiatus! this is the direct sequel to Looking Forwards, Backwards, Now at You or whatever the prequel to the housewarming party series is called! Stephen basically goes out and puts some people in their place,, and continues the saga of trying to blend shrimp. Also i established that Stephen and Sam have a good rapport bc it’s my story i get to choose the friendships

SoHo, 5:13am

Shrimp Gremlin Lesson #1: Love is great motivation when appropriate. Don’t take this piece of advice out of context.

There was work to be done. Stephen didn’t want to do it, didn’t want to untangle himself from Tony who was finally asleep and at peace. It was probably selfish to leave his partner to wake up alone… but something had to be done and it was better if Tony didn’t know the specifics. He wasn’t opposed to the idea of Stephen getting into fights with some of his coworkers, but that didn’t thrill him either. He didn’t want to cause any conflict but he also never told Stephen *not* to cause a scene. To the Coconut Shrimp Gremlin there was never a bad time to cause a scene where love was involved, and Stephen’s mind was made up: it was time to open a can of whoop ass.

It was time to reluctantly get out of bed and open a can of whoop ass, and hopefully not take too long so that he could surprise Tony with breakfast in bed*. That was the plan. With the mental promise of bagels and relaxation before their housewarming party that night, Stephen reluctantly slid out of bed.

++++

The Avengers’ Compound (Upstate NY), 6:05am

Shrimp Gremlin Lesson #2: If you are going to find your fiancé’s trashy ex, spending forty (40) minutes on looks before you fight him is never a waste of time.

“Colonel Rhodes, if I bribe you with a bagel will you tell me where Rogers is?” Stephen asked.

“I don’t think I need a bribe,” Rhodey replied. “I had a feeling you’d show up sooner or later.”

“I skipped making my shrimp protein shake to get here early… and to avoid waking up Tony. I don’t think frozen shrimp are supposed to go in a Vitamix,” Stephen said. “Alas, here I am.”

Rhodey stared at him for a minute. “Maybe try a NutriBullet. Anyway, Steve is at the park, out for a run with Sam right now, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

Stephen nodded and opened a portal. “Thanks Rhodey.”

“If it wasn’t for Tony, I wouldn’t condone whatever you’re about to do,” Rhodey said. “Be careful.”

Stephen nodded and stepped through the portal just as Sam and Steve ran past. Jogging up to Sam, Stephen decided to run backwards and show off a little bit. “Wilson! Good morning.”

“Why are you jogging backwards?” Sam asked. “Should I have gotten you a treadmill with a backwards function as a housewarming present?”

“No… we already have a treadmill,” Stephen replied. “But a gift is required.”

“Don’t go to the party, Sam! He’ll torture you!” Steve “warned.”

Stephen scoffed. “It’s amusing how you can make little torture jokes, as if you didn’t just betray Tony so our mutual enemies would capture and torture him. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong, villain? Tony doesn’t want to be with you anymore because he sees you for what you are?” Steve asked. “Maybe he’ll come crawling back to me, even if I told him I could never love him after what he did.”

Stephen stopped running and flung an arm out to stop Steve and Sam. “Wilson, I need you to let me know when it’s 7:00. I’ll give you a bagel from a good deli in SoHo if you do me this favor.”

“Get an extra for Bucky and we have a deal,” Sam replied.

Stephen nodded, turning his attention to Steve. “Everything Tony did was self defense. You put him in a position where he’d get hurt, and you did so knowingly. I hate to leave him to wake up by himself, but someone had to kick your ass and that someone had to be me. I don’t want you in my house later, I don’t want you at my party but I’m still going to allow you to be in my presence. I won’t, however, let you even try to infringe upon my happiness. Do you understand?”

“Or what?” Steve asked.

“I don’t think you want to know,” Stephen replied. He didn’t want to waste his magic or energy on hurting Rogers, but he didn’t have to know what the sorcerer had planned. Plus, Stephen just found a manuscript of magical pranks that The Ancient One wrote in the 90s, and it was just waiting to be read.

“I don’t think Tony would like the fact that you’re willing to hurt me for him, he still cares about me,” Steve said, obviously trying to get a rise out of Stephen.

“Neither Tony nor I like the fact that you’ll throw him into harm's way for your own benefit. That’s not love—”

“And you know what love is?” Steve interrupted.

Sam, quite literally in the middle of them, was watching the confrontation like a daytime soap opera. The look on his face indicated a longing for popcorn and a cold beverage. He watched, with some trepidation, as Stephen opened his mouth to reply.

“I’m not perfect at love, but I’m trying my best. Do you think I don’t know all of the things you say about me? I don’t think I’m good enough for Tony either, and I tell myself that almost everyday. What’s just happened has made me unsure of myself and my ability to keep him safe, and even though I know how capable he is I just want to protect him from anything that can hurt him. That’s including you and me, by the way, but I’ll be damned if I don’t try to give him the world the way he does for me,” Stephen replied.

An awkward silence stretched out between the three of them, broken by Sam sniffling.

“That was… heartwarming,” he murmured, using Steve’s shirt as a tissue. “You seem like a good guy, Strange, albeit a little… strange.”

“No bagels for you!” Stephen teased. He sighed. “I’m going home. I don’t want to be around Rogers any longer than I have to, and more importantly I want to be with Tony. The dress for the party tonight is smart casual, by the way. Wilson, have FRIDAY order your bagels and breakfast for Rhodey, it’s on me.”

Steve was, blessedly, still silent as Stephen gracefully stepped through a portal into his apartment, a glimpse of Tony’s sleeping face obscured by the closing of the golden circle.

++++

SoHo, 6:42am

Shrimp Gremlin Lesson #3: You don’t have to love someone to feel whole, but the feeling of being loved is quite nice. Stan Tony Stark.

Stephen’s plan was to re-enter quietly and read until Tony woke up, but he blew it by stubbing his toe on the corner of the bed and cursing colorfully.

“What are you doing Steph?” Tony asked sleepily, his head resting against Stephen’s shrimp plush/pillow.

“I stubbed my toe,” Stephen muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed. “How did you sleep?”

“Surprisingly well,” Tony replied, sitting up and snuggling into Stephen’s arms. “What are you up to? Did you try to put shrimp in the blender again?”

“No… but earlier Rhodey suggested a NutriBullet might be the optimal blender for a shrimp protein shake,” Stephen said.

“I’m just going to gloss over the fact that he’s wrong about that for a minute. Did you go upstate?” Tony asked.

Stephen nodded sheepishly. “There were just some things I wanted certain coworkers of yours to know before the party tonight, that’s all. No one got hurt… unless you count Steve’s pride and an under armor workout shirt which Sam used as a tissue.”

“I’m not going to ask about that right now,” Tony muttered. “It’s too early.”

He flopped onto his back again, settling into the nest of pillows on the bed. Stephen quickly changed back into pjs and joined him, pulling Tony close and playing with his hair.

Tony yawned, pressing his head against Stephen’s chest to listen to his heart. “Your heartbeat is good music to sleep to,” he murmured.

Stephen blushed. “You say the sweetest, most nonsensical shit when you’re falling asleep. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Tony replied, tracing a heart on Stephen’s cheek. “You know I love you and trust you with everything that I am and have, right?”

Stephen nodded, even as the motion was a bit awkward with Tony’s hand on his face. His eyes were watering up and he gave Tony a soft kiss. “Yeah, I do.”

“Good,” Tony said, smiling and snuggling closer to Stephen. “One last thing before I go back to sleep: shrimp is not meant to be blended.”

“Says who?” Stephen retorted, giggling to himself. “You’re probably right though.”

“I’m always right,” Tony whispered. “Now shh, I need my beauty rest before the party tonight.”

Stephen smirked. He was about to say something about Tony inventing beauty, but a soft snore indicated that he was gone already and wouldn’t hear it. Not to worry, Stephen planned on shamelessly telling Tony that as soon as they woke up later.

Tags: @stark-strange-love @chocopiggy @dinodaddy65 @ayyy-its-an-idiot

https://ironic-iconic-strange.tumblr.com/post/618044046100873216/looking-forwards-backwards-and-now-at-you-a (read looking forwards, backwards, and now at you here^)

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Truth Pt. 12

Truth Master List

Request:

What’s up sug! sorry you’re struggling right now but I’ve come to help you If you could bring this to light for me I’d absolutely love for YOU TO DO JT So basically Bucky X Enhanced reader who are fuckin enemies. Hate each other to every last fiber of their beings bc Bucky is rude and she calls him out on it. AnywHs, they get drunk, truth or dare (go crZy baby) and LOTS LF dirty talk if u wanna do smut but if u don’t then buck taking care of her while she’s drunk cause she admitted her feelings

Pairing: Bucky X Reader (Enhanced)

Summary: Since The Avengers gave you a home the only blight has been Bucky Barnes, a ghost from your past that you can’t seem to shake. It makes you hate him. The feeling, it seems, is mutual. But… a simple game reveals that maybe things aren’t quite so simple. (Post Winter Soldier AU)

Warnings: FLUFF, FEELS, CUTE MOMENTS, only a little sad

A/N: Look. I’m a sucker for Bucky dancing, I’m a sucker for cheese (sometimes) and also I just thought these two deserved a moment like this after everything they’ve been through. Ugh. I love them.

Tags are open!

@midnightdream83 @mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @handplucked @buckysstar @sam-jae @marauder--harder @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @andreagf956 @marvelousmeggi @jewelofwinter @fairislesheets @animegirlgeeky @lydklein1 @katecolleen @siriuslycloudy2 @zannemes 

The next morning you slip out while Bucky is still sleeping for your appointment with Tony and Bruce.

You were happy he managed to get some sleep. Throughout the night you kept waking up, terrified he’d stopped breathing or constantly seeing that image of him bleeding from a wound you’d inflicted on him…

The moment the elevator opens you’re met with Black Sabbath blaring. It wouldn’t have been your first choice but you’re not mad about it either.

“Mornin’ Sparks!” Tony bellows from the other side of the room.

“Coffee or tea?” Bruce asks.

“No fasting?”

“Nah.”

“Coffee.” Bruce pours you a cup and brings it over to the chair you were at a few days prior.

“We just needed that for the initial blood tests.” You hold your arm out and he begins to attach the nodes.

Tony heads over when Bruce is about done, Dum-E on his heels. “Sorry, had to fix this idiot.”

“Be nice to him,” you smile at the robot. 

Tony laughs shaking his head and holds out a bag of banana chips. You take a few, munching them, mind wandering back to Bucky.

“Hey,” Tony sits next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “you ok?”

“I’m fine. I’m not the one who got a hole torn in their side yesterday.”

“It really looked worse than it was,” Bruce says, tone trying to reassure you.

“I know how much worse it could have been…” You feel the energy rise in you.

“Damn,” Tony looks at the screen. “Tell me, after a fight are you able to get your power up and running faster?”

“Uh… maybe? I’ve never really paid attention to it.”

“Because it took almost an hour for you to reach this high of a level the other day. And now what, five minutes?”

“Could be linked to emotion too.” Bruce would know.

“Yeah. Both maybe? Sorry, I know that’s not helpful.”

“No, but it’s interesting.” Tony studies the readings as the energy quiets. “The signature is also just a touch different-”

“Not quite as stable,” Bruce finishes. It’s like you’re not really there. Which is honestly ok with you.

“So you and Lefty,” Tony pops some chips in his mouth, “had quite the tiff. Guess you made up?”

You glare at him for a minute before responding. “I guess making him bleed was good enough payback for being a chauvinist.”

“Maybe,” he glances at the screen. “You should actually talk about it though.”

“Are you really giving me relationship advice?”

“More of a suggestion. Based on my own many and likely continuing mistakes.” Bruce snickers and Tony throws a chip at his head.

You laugh and sigh. “As much as I hate these words, you’re probably right.”

“You just broke rule #1, Y/N.” Bruce shakes his head in mock disappointment.

For the rest of your appointment, you run through some of the same things you did before. Bringing your energy up and down, letting it crackle from your fingertips, forming and dissipating.

Tony and Bruce both study the screens after you’re unhooked. “You boys need anything else from me?”

“Nah, you’re good Sparky. I’ll let you know if we need ya.”

“Have fun nerds!” You call over your shoulder as you head back to Bucky’s apartment to check on him.

When you open the door the smell of bacon makes your stomach growl. The sound of Bucky singing along to Sinatra’s Fly Me To The Moon brings a smile to your face and an ache to your heart. What if you’d-

“Y/N?” Bucky’s calls from by the stove.

“Yeah, it’s me. Sorry I didn’t knock…”

He comes out of the kitchen with a mug of coffee for you. “You don’t have to knock.”

“Thanks,” you take the mug from him but don’t take a sip, your lips pursed, trying to settle your nerves.

“You’re welcome. Thought you may be hungry.” He nods toward the kitchen and heads back.

Slowly you follow taking a seat at one if the bar stools. You stare into the mug, the silence only broken by the sizzling from the pan for the next few minutes.

As he cracks and whisks the eggs you can’t stand it anymore. “Why are you doing this?” You snap.

He turns around, bowl in hand one brow raised. “Like I said, I thought you’d be-”

“I could have fucking killed you Bucky…”

“Yeah,” you feel your face contort at the admission. “But it was my fault.” You turn back to your coffee, the guilt too overwhelming.

He turns the burner off and comes to your side, “Look at me, Y/N.” His right fingers graze your left cheek, gently turning your face to his. The expression on his face is soft, eyes crinkled slightly at the corners. “You had it handled. I… I was... well I was acting like my fucking father. Like I knew better based on nothing but my own pride. Because of that I got in the way and got caught in the crossfire. That isn’t on you, baby.”

You reach a shaky hand out to touch his side lightly where the bandages were. Bucky takes your hand in his, lifting it to his lips. “I can’t promise I won’t ever be an authoritative prick again. But I’ll work on it, I promise.” Sniffing hard you nod. “We ok?”

“Yeah. We’re good.”

The two of you enjoy a nice breakfast and have just curled up on the couch to watch a movie, both of you still tired from the mission, when Tony texts you:

“Hey. Can you come back for a minute? Wanna talk about something.”

You sigh heavily.

“What is it?” His back is pressed against your upright torso, head on your chest. Tilting his head to the side he looks up at you.

“Tony needs me to come back to the lab for something.”

“Ok,” Bucky groans a little as he sits up, the exhaustion clearly kicking in. “Tell him if he keeps you too long he’s gotta deal with me.”

You laugh, “You got it, Sarge.” Standing you lean down and press a kiss to his forehead.

Tony’s at his desk, the lab quiet for once. It’s unnerving.

“What’s so bad that you don’t even have music on, Ton?”

“Huh?” He looks at you distracted. “Oh! Nothin’ bad just needed to focus and couldn’t find the right song.” He flashes you a half smile.

“Tony…?”

“I just can’t work out how you tick. It’s unlike anything we’ve seen…”

You can’t help but laugh bitterly, “Well you’ve only tested me twice.”

“True but the results are so different. I mean… the base readings are pretty similar but… I just hate a problem I can’t solve, or that I don’t even know how to start.”

“Are you trying to… fix me, Tony?” A cold feeling of betrayal begins to settle over you.

“No! Absolutely not!” He looks horrified and you feel like an idiot for thinking that. “Unless you want me to… I just want to be sure we can keep you, ya know...”

“From blowing up and killing everyone?”

He rolls his eyes, “I was going to find a more tactful way to put it.”

“Tact isn’t your style man.”

“Ouch!” He dramatically grabs his chest. “Anyway, I was wondering if you’d be cool with me tagging along on your next few missions as a non-combatant. I just want to monitor your levels in real time, see how they change in combat vs. in a controlled setting. But I don’t want you to feel like I’m babysitting you.”

You think about this. It could be a little weird. Tony usually stayed out of most basic missions, only really getting involved in the ones where they needed the extra firepower. Honestly you always like when he’s along and you can think of another good reason to have him…

“I’m game. But I need you to promise me something.”

Tony’s brows raise with suspicion. “That makes me nervous… suuuuuure.”

“If you’re with us and something goes wrong. If I’m down or compromised in some way… get him out.”

Tony’s face settles into a stoic mask as the weight of what you’re asking settles over him. “Y/N…”

“Look, I don’t have any intention of throwing myself to the wolves or anything but after yesterday… I just don’t trust he won’t do something stupid to save me if he thinks he can… no matter if it’s a lost cause.”

“He’ll put up one hell of a fight. I saw how he looked at you Y/N the other day. That man is-”

“You can handle him. Plus… you’re the only one that can besides Steve and…”

“He’ll hate anyone who pulls him out. You figure I can handle that.” He smirks.

“Tony…”

“No you’re right, I can. And I am the only one. So yeah, deal.”

You give him a cold smile, it wasn’t exactly something to be happy about. “Alright.” You stand and extend a hand to shake on it.

He takes it and pulls you into a hug. “Just don’t put me in that position Sparky. You don’t get to just cash it in, ok?”

“I won’t.” You pull away, this time your smile is genuine. “Besides, without me, who’re you gonna make playlists for?”

“Exactly.”

You enter the elevator with a strange sense of hope warming your chest. A sense that grows and grows over the next few months.

For the most part, you’ve moved into Bucky’s place. Sure you still technically have your own apartment in the tower but you haven’t stayed there one night since that mission where you injured him. Your clothes, records, and even some of your photos have made their way into his drawers, shelves, and onto his walls slowly but surely.

On nights where you’re not beat from a mission or eating with the team, you cook together. Dancing everything from the waltz to tango as various dishes bubble away on the stove. You even convince him on a few occasions to invite one or two people over for dinner or drinks that aren’t Steve.

Nat and Clint join you one night. Another it’s them and Steve, which proves to be hilarious back and forth between best friends calling one another out on their reckless bull shit. You laugh yourself to tears more times that night than you can count. When you have Sam over things are awkward for about a half hour before they gang up on you to argue the superiority of Star Trek to Star Wars.

Tony accompanies you to whatever missions he’s able. Mainly he hangs back in the jet, looking over the feedback Jarvis sends him from the cuffs he modified to not only offer (hopefully anyway) emergency stabilization but to give him readings on your energy levels, how the signature changes, temperature fluctuations, and other minute details you never pay attention to.

When you’re back on the jet he usually would do a more thorough scan as you fly home. Determined to figure out just what Hydra did and how he can give you the most control possible. It warms your heart that he’s so determined.

Only twice do they pick up on any more energy signatures that come close to your own. The first was a false positive. While the other seemed to be just residual energy since the facility appears to have been abandoned for years. In fact, you’re fairly certain it was one of yours, judging from the way your head feels like it’s filled with static and the soul-shredding dreams that followed that night.

Bucky held you while you screamed and cried. You weren’t able to make your tongue form the words, some block in your brain preventing you from speaking about that facility. It was ok though, he understood. The night was spent with him rocking you gently in his arms, singing softly to you, grounding you to a present so wonderful it made the past truly feel like nothing more than a bad nightmare.

You weren’t the only one to deal with ghosts though. It was a particularly brutal mission, the Hydra agents were determined to win or die… needless to say, they didn’t win. Bucky had been cornered with Nat by about 10 agents. When you saw them after they were both covered with viscera and blood, looking more like animals than humans.

That night you rolled over to find the bed empty the door to the bathroom cracked, the sound of the shower running seeping out. You padded quietly over, pushing the door open slowly, not wanting to startle him. Bucky was on the floor of the shower, head pressed to his knees. Scalding hot water hitting him from all angles, his skin pink and red. When he lifted his head you felt your heart shatter. His face a mask of fear, pain, regret, and horror.

He didn’t have to explain to you why, though he wants to. What he wants is irrelevant. Had you asked for a mission report he could have given it, could have recited every horrifying detail of the day. His mouth opens and closes as you tentatively approach.

“Zamorozka,” is all he’s finally able to manage in a shaky voice when you’re by the shower. Freezing. Cryo. That’s what they would have done after a mission like that just to be sure. Wipe. Reset.

Nodding you strip your clothes, stepping into the cloud of steam to sit behind him, warm him further with your body, pull him as far from that freezing hell as you possibly could. For a long while, you hold him, kiss his tense back muscles, remind him where he is. When you coax him out of the shower you tell Jarvis to crank the heat in the apartment. You wrap Bucky in cozy clothes and blankets and though you’re practically sweating you don’t care.

But even with those and a handful of other times that your past comes knocking in the night, the two of you find something neither ever hoped for. Happiness. He frustrates the hell out of you some days but he makes you laugh, never questions your silences, and goddamn if he wasn’t incredible in the sack.

And it seems that you make him happy too. You’ll catch him watching you from time to time, a warm smile lighting his features. He’s more personable to everyone, even Sam commenting that he likes him better now. Steve is convinced you’re bringing back more of his old self, you hope that’s true.

-

Bucky can’t help the smile on his face. All you’re doing is caring an armload of blankets in from the bedroom but still… it makes him unbearably happy.

Everyone is wrapped up in gala business. Some necessary evil PR stunt for the Avengers. No one has mentioned anything about having to attend to either of you so instead, you’re taking the time to watch movies and eat copious amounts of shitty food.

He pops a cheese puff in his mouth and you look over to him. “If you eat all those I’ll zap you.” Laughing Bucky walks over and tosses a neon orange ball at you. Effortlessly you catch it, munching loudly.

“What’re we starting with?” He settles next to you, tugging you close.

“Reservoir Dogs, Tony’s been harping on me to watch it and I just want him to shut up about it.”

Bucky laughs, “Alright. Hit it Jarvis.” The windows darken to block out some of the early afternoon light and the film starts.

They’re no more than 20 minutes in when Jarvis pops in. “Pardon the interruption, Captain Rogers is on his way up.”

You exchange a glance, “Everything alright, Jarvis?”

“To my knowledge, yes.”

When Steve raps at the door Bucky gets up to let him in. “Hey, sorry to interrupt.”

“It’s fine.” You pipe from the living room as they head in. “Cheese puff?” Steve smiles at the proffered bowl, never one to turn down a snack he grabs a handful as he sits.

“What’s goin’ on?” Bucky settles back at your side, automatically taking your free hand in his own.

“This damn gala.”

Bucky laughs, “You never did like a dance, Stevie.”

Steve rolls his eyes, “Hard to when every gal had a foot on me at least.”

“Mhm. That was why.” He turns to you, “He just doesn’t like dancing.”

“You do though.” You both turn your eyes back to Steve, Bucky’s suspicion mounting. “That’s kinda why I’m here…”

He reaches over and nabs more cheese puffs, shoving some in his mouth before continuing. “Hill thinks maybe you should both attend.”

You just popped a puff in your mouth and begin coughing a bit, “What?!”

“Don’t shoot the messenger,” Steve holding a hand up in surrender. “She said it would be excellent PR for the team to let people see-”

“The reformed freak show?” Bucky’s grip tightens on your hand. This puts a bad taste in his mouth. Steve looks wilted and Bucky regrets his tone.

“No man, at least I don’t think it’s like that.” His fingers begin to drum on his knee. A classic Rogers tell that he’s nervous as all hell. “I think it’s more to show people that you’re not something to be afraid of, either of you.” Bucky feels you shift next to him.

“The public knows there are two former Hydra assets on the team. You,” he gestures to Bucky, “they know about from the Battle of The Potomac. But, Y/N, you’re a total mystery which is almost worse.”

Bucky stares at the place where your clasped hands rest. People fear what they don’t know. “So… this is a PR suggestion, not a team decision?” He can feel the tension in your body.

“Yeah, but everyone agrees it’s probably a good move. It’s a secure event, every attendee vetted. Plus it’s here in the tower so if you need to duck out, you can.”

“Bruce said the last one wasn’t bad,” your voice seems kind of small.

He looks over at you, your eyes also glued on the spot where your bodies connect. “Do you wanna go, doll?”

You laugh a little bitterly, looking up, “I mean… it’s not my thing, I didn’t even go to prom but if everyone thinks it a good call and will help PR… I kinda feel like we should.”

Suddenly he feels kind of excited, having you on his arm, dancing with you… Of course, there’d be all the other people, press, and… He swallows hard. “Alright. We’re in.”

“Thank god.” Steve looks genuinely relieved.

With the gala on Saturday night, your relaxing Thursday afternoon immediately shifts. Now there are clothes to be chosen and fitted, logistics to discuss, various preparations to be made.

Bucky is drug off with Tony and Pepper takes you on. Tony gets his tailor on fitting a suit for Bucky immediately since apparently what Bucky had wasn’t suitable, despite the fact that Tony keeps insisting that the event isn’t super formal. It makes him think of when he’d let his sisters dress him up. Except he’s more annoyed and less endeared.

The next day you’re both back in fittings after breakfast. When you’re done it’s lunchtime and you both look spent. Still, it’s off to a meeting with Hill to cover security details, as much for the attendees as all of you.

Most everyone would enter at the beginning of the party, do the press thing, answer a few preselected questions, etc. When they’re going over this Steve looks like he wants to puke. It’s the one time Bucky’s happy he’s known for being an unstoppable murder machine.

The two of you and Bruce would hang back, coming in an hour after the others once the event actually starts. This doesn’t mean there won’t be some pictures snapped throughout the evening or even that people won’t attempt to interact with you all but it will take the pressure of being in the spotlight off. All that’s really asked is that you all stay for at least a half hour but if you need to leave that’s ok.

No weapons would be allowed into the building. All of you were welcome to arm yourselves as you saw fit. While they never anticipate anything to go wrong, few were bold enough to make a move inside Avenger’s Tower, after all, it never hurt to be prepared.

Saturday morning comes and you’re both already over it. His initial excitement has been smothered in anxiety and general annoyance with the whole process. Plus he knows as soon as he sees Tony, he’s going to have to once again make it clear that he’s not cutting his hair.

“Let’s just say we’re sick.” You press tighter into his side, burying your face in his chest.

His lips curl a touch as he strokes the back of your head. “Don’t think that’ll fly, doll.”

“Thirty minutes has never seemed so long in my life. And after Hydra, I feel like that’s saying something.” You roll over onto your back next to him.  

He can’t help but laugh. “It’ll be fine,” he tangles his fingers with yours. “Besides, didn’t Tony say he put together a great playlist?”

“Not worth it.” Your phone buzzes on your nightstand. Groaning you pick it up. “It shouldn’t take a whole day to get ready for anything ever. It’s just not right.”

“You’ll have fun, Nat’ll be there.” You slide him a sidelong glance. “Promise after this we’ll see about running off someplace for a few days. Sound good?”

You smile before pouncing on him, straddling his hips, kissing him hard. “The thought of having you all to myself for a few days may just get me through this.”

Your phone buzzes again and you go to get off, he pulls you back, “I think they can wait a minute.” He lifts his hips to fully press the hard length of him against you.

“I think you’re right Barnes.”

His good mood lasts until the exact second Tony asks about his hair for the sixth time in the last three days. “Stark, if you ask me one more time I swear to god I’ll-”

“Alright, alright,” Tony’s hands are up. “At least pull it back.”

“Planned on it.”

“Give him some credit, Tony, the man wasn’t raised by wolves,” Clint pipes up from the couch where he’s waiting to try his suit on too.

Bucky doesn’t see you for the rest of the day. Pepper planned what she swore would be a fun ‘girls day’ for all the women on the team. He hopes you’re having fun but as the clock ticks closer his anxiety over everything is peaking. Seeing you, he knows will calm some of it. He’d face anything with you by him.

You were all meeting in the common space for a toast before the majority of the team went down to kick things off. When he gets there, it’s just the guys, drinking whiskey and lounging.

“I guess you clean up alright Barnes.” Sam lifts his tumbler of amber liquid in Bucky’s direction.

“You don’t look terrible either, Wilson.”

“Psh,” Sam scoffs as Bucky takes a seat by Steve on the couch, “I know I look damn fine in this Armani. Not that you’d know taste if it hit you upside the head.”

Bucky has to admit, Sam’s burgundy suit is pretty sleek. He’d opted for something black. Its slim cut seems strange but it’s the style now. The jacket, Tony insisted, could be worn open and thank god this wasn’t something he needed a tie for. In fact, the perfectly tailored white button-up was open a few buttons, making it fairly comfortable.

It’s almost twenty minutes before the elevator dings. Everyone but you and Natasha file out. Tony catches Pepper up in a passionate kiss. Hill looks incredible in pants that hug her legs and what looks like a men’s blazer without a shirt under, very her. The other gals look great too.

Since time was getting tight Tony goes ahead and gathers everyone around, popping a bottle of champagne and pouring glasses. Finally, Natasha saunters in but oddly you’re not with her.

“Sorry I’m late, had to figure out where comfortably put a pistol,” Natasha announces. She’s in a bold number. Gold, short, strapless, with a triangle cut out showing her cleavage perfectly. 

“Told you not to go with the Versace,” Hill quips.

“Ok, but how could I not. Just look at me.” She flashes Bucky a smile, “Y/N is right behind me.”

On cue, the elevator doors open and you step out and Bucky’s jaw hits the floor. You’re radiant in a floor-length black gown, sheer from the waist down with black overlays resembling roses with crystals providing shimmer, the neckline plunges almost to your waist, your arms bare. Your hair is swept and pinned to one side, curls perfectly shielding half your face, your lips a deep blood red. 

“Woah.” Steve breathes out next to him. “I don’t know if you can handle that Buck.”

“You may be right,” Bucky can’t take his eyes off you as you float over to them.

“I feel slightly ridiculous.” You say exasperated as he wraps you in his arms.

“You look beautiful.”

You smile softly, a slight blush on your cheeks. “Thanks”

“I may have to take back what I said about your lack of taste, Barnes.” Sam teases before Tony shuts everyone up for the toast.

When the time finally comes to slip into the party you grab his metal hand so hard you’d likely break a regular Joe’s bones. Bruce goes first. Since you’re supposed to wait a few minutes he pulls you into him. Kissing you, his fingers grabbing your hair by the roots, body pressed tights against yours. Your panting when he releases you.

“You’re lucky this lipstick is magic.” He laughs noting it didn’t budge.

“Ready darlin’?”

“Now I am.”

Hand in hand you walk into the room. The door is tucked in a back corner so no one really notices either of you for a minute. That is until Captain America just has to pull up next to you both.

“Save me,” Steve whines.

Bucky can’t resist laughing at how visibly uncomfortable his best friend is. He clasps his free hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Come on, pal. Can’t be that bad.”

Honestly, it wasn’t bad at all. People keep a wary but curious distance from the two ex-Hydra agents in their midst. This means when the other team members want to have a minute away from their PR faces they just gravitate toward the two of you. He wants to dance with you but honestly, he’s too nervous to drag you out into the big middle of it all. It’s fun to watch the others dance and get a little silly though.

After a couple of hours, Tony and Pepper approach you.

“Come on,” Tony’s free hand grabs Bucky’s.

“What?” Bucky has no clue what Stark is playing at.

“Grab that gorgeous woman and get on the damn dance floor with us.”

Pepper smiles at you with a wink, “As much as I hate to agree with Tony, that Elie Saab you’re wearing is too beautiful to be a wallflower.”

A few light synth notes start and all the sudden you bust out laughing. “Foreigner?! Tony? Really?”

“This is a great song!” Tony’s face takes on a mock look of offense. Bucky doesn’t know the song but he’s not hating it, unlike some of the other stuff you had him listen to.

As the four of you begin to sway on the dance floor the crowd there thins out a bit. You’re still giggling in his arms. “Tony is such a lame ass.”

“What was that Sparky?” Tony shouts over the music.

“You’re a lame ass!” You shout back, Pepper belts a laugh and there are distinct snickers from the crowd.

You’re both laughing as he spins you out when the melodramatic chorus kicks in. The two of you manage some kind of waltz sway mashup, giggling like kids.

Natasha and Sam join you all and seem to be getting a kick out of the song choice too, singing along. As the song turns takes on a choral vibe you, Tony, and Pepper, along with a chunk of the crowd all join in. Bucky swears his face aches from smiling.

When it ends he can’t help but spin you into his arms and kiss you. A few whoops from around them makes it sink in just how public this is. Somehow he doesn’t really care. Your head falls back and your ringing laugh sends his heart soaring.

“Careful Tin Man,” Tony playfully elbows him, “wearin’ your heart on your sleeve there.” 

Bucky thinks that Tony Stark had never been more right in his life. 

[perlukafarinn]

another 14x02 coda bc my brain just would not shut up!

edit: now on ao3

Dean won’t ever admit it out loud but there was some part of him that thought he knew what he was getting into when he said yes to Michael.

He’s used to wielding his body like a tool. To hunt. To save people. To make money in whatever way an unskilled seventeen year old with no parental supervision could. 

But being a vessel was different. Riding shotgun in his own head, feeling his limbs move without permission. Seeing his body being used to hurt people. To kill them. And that was only when Michael allowed him close enough to the surface to see.

Dean hasn’t slept through the night since Michael left. He keeps waking up in cold sweat, his muscles twitching with the memory of actions Dean had no control over.

He’s never been so helpless before. The Mark was in the ballpark but even that is nothing compared to giving his body entirely over to someone else. The closest Dean’s ever felt to this complete loss of control was in hell, when Alastair’s hand guided his knife. But that’s mostly because it made it easier, pretending that it wasn’t really him doing it.

He keeps expecting it to happen again. For Michael to somehow take charge, despite everything, and ride his body off to kill more people for a flimsy excuse of a cause. And he keeps remembering over and over how he forced Gadreel into Sam and then the feeling of helplessness is replaced by a wave of self loathing.

Which, y’know, is at least a change of pace. 

Dean doesn’t talk to anyone about it but he knows they can tell. They’re all waiting for him to snap. Worst of all is Cas, with those huge worried eyes that follow Dean around the bunker. He’s dying to help and he could probably give Dean some advice on how to cope with having an archangel ride your ass to hell and back, but Dean can’t bring himself to ask.

He can’t even look at Cas without seeing Jimmy Novak.

*

It’s another restless night. Maybe some other time, Dean would go to the shooting range or the kitchen, find some way to distract himself. But the bunker is stuffed full of people, most of whom rarely sleep through the night, and Dean doesn’t feel like talking to anyone.

He heads to the garage instead. It’s stupid, with how much he missed his home and his room and his memory foam mattress, but right now Dean’s craving the comfort of Baby’s back seat.

Only it’s not empty.

Dean briefly debates turning around and sneaking back to bed, pretending he never left it. But Cas already knows he’s here and Dean can’t avoid his best friend forever.

He climbs into the backseat and Cas wordlessly scoots over to accommodate him. For once, he’s not looking at Dean, instead staring straight ahead, shoulders ramrod straight.

Dean clears his throat. “Couldn’t sleep?”

It works, a little. Cas’ posture loosens and he glances at Dean, smiling half-heartedly. “I suppose not. What about you?”

“Nope.” 

Dean wonders if he should mention the nightmares. Maybe showing that little bit of vulnerability would be enough to break the tension between them right now. It might be worth it even though he’s sick of feeling so vulnerable all the damn time.

But it's Cas who speaks first. “You’ve been avoiding me.” 

“I’ve been avoiding everyone,” Dean says, which is true, but it’s also an excuse and one Cas sees through right away.

“You won’t even look me in the eye.” There’s accusation in Cas’ voice now, and hurt. “I don’t understand.”

Dean shrugs, tucking his arms close to his chest. “I dunno what to tell you, Cas. It’s different.”

“What is?”

“Once you’ve been a vessel.” Dean shrugs again. There’s a lump in his throat already. He’s not ready to be having this conversation. “It’s different.”

Cas is quiet for a while. Dean keeps his eyes down, fiddling with the fabric of his shirt between his fingers. It’s thin cotton, and he’s already feeling a little chilly from sitting in the garage. 

"What do you want from me, Dean?" Cas asks. "Do you want me to feel guilty about taking a vessel? Because I already do."

Dean sighs, rubbing his eyes, suddenly aware of just how bone-deep exhausted he is. "No, that's not- I don't want anything from you. I don't know why I said that. This whole thing just blows. I barely know how to use my own fucking body anymore and I can’t stop thinking about what it feels like, having someone else wear it like a goddamn suit and using it to kill people.”

“Dean...”

“And I thought I hated being myself but let me tell ya, being someone else I don’t have any control over is so much worse.” 

Dean pauses, gut clenching in shame. He doesn’t need to tell Cas that, he already knows what it’s like. Jesus fucking Christ, what is he whining for? Sam and Cas have both been through this, Sam more than once, and you don’t see them crying about it. When did he get so weak?

“I just get what it’s like now,” he finishes. His voice has gone hoarse. He doesn’t want to be here anymore but he doesn’t know how to leave without making Cas feel even worse about the whole shitty situation. 

“I’m sorry,” Cas says.

“Not your fault.”

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

Dean swallows. He glances back at Cas, feeling like a fucking coward when their eyes meet and he has to look back down immediately. 

Cas reaches his hand out and it’s all Dean can do not to flinch when he cups Dean’s cheek, gently turning his head to face him. He keeps his eyes downcast, closing them when Cas leans in and kisses him. 

It’s the first time they’ve kissed - hell, it’s the first time they’ve touched - since Michael.

It’s good.

It’s good and Dean is so fucking relieved he wants to cry. The chaos in his head clears, the mess of Michael and Jimmy Novak and a body that’s still his but isn’t just disappears into the soft press of Cas’ lips against his. For one blissful moment, Dean’s mind is silent.

Then Cas is pulling away. Dean opens his eyes again, immediately caught by that familiar blue, and just like that the doubt is creeping back in. 

“It’s just me,” Cas says quietly. “This body isn’t a vessel. Not anymore.”

“But it used to be.”

Cas doesn’t answer. Doesn’t deny it. He just lowers his hand, settling it awkwardly in his lap. Dean stares at it for a long while, feeling at once too much and nothing at all.

He’s just so fucking tired. 

Finally, Dean gives. He moves, scooting in his seat so that he can lay down, legs crammed against the Impala’s door. Cas doesn’t protest. He just lifts his hand, allowing Dean to lay his head in his lap. He keeps it raised for a few moments, then slowly, uncertainly lowers it, palm warm against Dean’s scalp and his fingers combing gently through his hair. 

Dean closes his eyes again. Lets himself relax, and even though he’s cold and crammed into way too small a space it’s the most comfortable he’s been in weeks.

He sleeps through the night and he doesn’t dream.

[disasterjones]

Jarrett. Give us the tea my dude

Jarett: Describe your worst boss or teacher you've ever had.

my time has come,, 

this is obscenely long, apologies

okay so I used to work at a credit union (it’s basically a bank but they push this concept of “community” and “we’re not like the banks” except that they are, do not be tempted by their honeycomb claims, they’re as fragile as they are sweet) and I worked in the quality assurance department

we were tasked with everything from balance inquiries to opening accounts to being the equivalent of loan servicers (without the capacity to actually craft the loan agreement for underwriting, because then what would the loan officers do)

my boss, we’ll call him Bob, had two assistant managers, we’ll call them Jenny and August, who were probably the pacific northwest equivalent of Stepford Wives, with Bob being the superficially-agreeable gentleman that welcomes the unaware into the compound for assimilation

so anyway I joined this job through a temp-to-hire position and it was great for the first six months or so (as it turns out, even jobs have honeymoon periods), I made friends with coworkers, I established a presence and something of a reputation for being the friendly-and-decently-quick-learner, which I would later find out was to my detriment, because they took the “quick learner” concept and thought that translated perfectly to “teacher,” and about a year in they gave me a temp to train

the temp was never a problem, although she did sometimes like to be on her phone when we were in the middle of a call, but I’m just an employee that’s giving pointers, I’m not a boss nor am I her mother, so I don’t bother to give her too much hassle about it. she still manages to keep decent call times for a newbie and is able to navigate our systems after a little bit of repetition

this was the beginning of my issues with Bob, as he wanted me to be more strict and adhere as closely his own inflexible schedule as possible. problem is I can’t force a person to learn faster, nor had I asked for the responsibility of training someone in the first place. why hadn’t they asked someone with more experience? sure I’d learned the ins and outs of the programs okay, but i hadn’t developed the tools to quickly de-escalate angry callers yet, hadn’t even been given access to several systems I was expected to use to train this temp, but being behind was my fault no matter what I said

I’d already been dealing with some subtle snideness and condescension from Jenny and August on top of that, and it took me ages to realize it’s because I was the only person that didn’t engage in makeup culture (partially bc I can’t afford that shit lol) and that was literally the reason why: I wasn’t “put together” or “company ready,” even though I never personally interacted with members or anyone on site beyond people in my immediate department

so a year and a half of this, of subtle underhanded remarks and difficult demands, of having constant rising expectations and quotas, told at every turn that our goal is to have as many new members as possible, all the while a broken record of lie, just repeating constantly that “sales don’t matter, it’s about the community” 

(EXCEPT GET ALL THE ACCOUNTS DON'T LET THEM SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS YOU FUCKING FAILURE YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM 3 ACCOUNTS YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM A GOOD RATE ON THE NEW CREDIT CARD IF THEY JUST SIGNED UP BUT REMEMBER WE DON’T WANT TO SELL THEM ANYTHING)

finally it’s Christmas time and I’ve been busting my hump for the whole year and it’s my second year so I’m eligible for a bonus and I’m literally gonna burst I’m so happy... until Bob and Co. announce that, despite all our stellar efforts this year, despite that we are ahead of company projections by a 15% margin across all departments, despite that I personally (and by proxy our department) was responsible for the acquisition of an account worth over 1.3 million, we were told our Christmas bonuses were actually going to be a bit sparser than they were the year prior, my first year, the year I got a $75 Fred Meyer gift card in

I had been looking forward to a cash bonus and had worked my ass off for it, had been damn near guaranteed it during a number of team/personal reviews with the managers, but surprise! three days before christmas, all I have to look forward to is $50 to a place that I can reasonably get a single pair of shoes from (and maybe some socks)

it’s a month or so later that the Big Change happens, and the entire building of employees moves across town to a new location. some people get let go in the shuffle, including one of my close friends I’d met there. financially stressed though she was, I could see how much happier she was to be out of that place, and I started to get inklings of leaving as my mental health began to deteriorate. another result of this change is that the parking availability for employees is cut down to a third of what we used to have, except it’s even less because most of the spots at the new building are intended for members, so everybody’s carpooling or riding bikes or bussing

side note: carpooling is all well and good in a green initiative, but do you have any idea how difficult it is to coordinate more than two people for a carpool? either you can make us carpool or you can have us in on time, you can’t have both

a bit of advice for anybody new to the job circuit or who might have trouble deciphering “appropriate” social gestures: no matter how open they say you can be, no matter how friendly or amenable they appear to be to mental health struggles, don’t fall for that trap and think you can show any moment of weakness. it’s true that not everyone will react the way my managers did, but don’t take the chance if you can help it. on the surface, they understood. on the surface they said they were with me.

i would go on to walk in on those same people mocking my symptoms and talking about how it can’t be that bad, that I must be trying to get attention.I was labeled unprofessional, and no matter how much they encouraged open communication and preached how “life happens and things get rough for people,” I was still an acceptable target. 

so I took my complaint to HR, who at first seemed taken aback at the notion that, of anybody, BOB could be engaging in such careless and callous behavior. “Oh, he’s such a nice man! I’m sure he didn’t mean those things.” and because he wasn’t the one saying them, but rather laughing along with them, and because it was my word against theirs, it was unlikely to go anywhere

time crawls on and it’s about march or so when everything finally snaps in my brain. getting out of bed feels like selling my soul and going to work feels more like torture than a paycheck. on The Dawn Of The Day That Broke My Back, I was up and ready, out in front of my apartment and chain smoking to keep myself awake, when I realized that no matter when my carpool shows up now, we’re going to be late

I try to keep myself in decent spirits, not be a grumposaurus on the way in. I feel prepared for the day, got my coffee and my lunch in a bag and a nice outfit and I feel like maybe today won’t be as bad as the rest of the month has been, even though we’ll be late

we arrive about 10 after, but I’ve got Jenny and August’s numbers in my phone, so I’ve sent them messages ahead of time to let them know that the carpool was a bit late because traffic has been troublesome. I don’t remember how true it was, but the point is I did my part to let them know ahead of time that we weren’t no-shows, just a bit delayed. as I’m walking in (mind you, following and followed by a number of other individuals just as late as me), Bob singles me out, pointing first at me and then another aggressive point in the direction of a closed office space 

fun fact: with the new change in locations, he no longer has his own office, in fact he now sits directly adjacent to me and close enough to hear me speak under my breath, something I had to be constantly aware of

he ignores the confusion on my face as soon as we’re inside and immediately begins to accuse me of slacking off, saying I’ve been skipping out on and coming late into work constantly, and I need to “get it together” or I’ll be out of a job. I try to express that I’m not trying to shirk my responsibilities, just that I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal stuff and it’s affecting my focus. He doesn’t care, his frustration continuing to escalate, and every time I offer a response or rebuttal to an unfair statement, he gets angrier and changes what he’s upset about.

Finally it happens. 

“You were late! 10 minutes late! You need to be in your chair at your desk and ready to sign in and be ready to take calls BY 8:00!!” 

I have grown tired of him yelling for no reason, and the backbone that had crumbled away over the last two and a half years suddenly snaps back into place hard as steel. 

“I would like to know why this is all aimed at me specifically, when you saw me enter with the remainder of my carpool, the carpool that you all made us set up in the middle of construction season, which of course is happening on the only road that leads here. 

“I would like to know how I’m supposed to control the environment or lives of the other people I am stuck riding with every day for this job that supposedly cares about us, even though it doesn’t seem to care about the extra expenses or time  crunch we now have to endure as a result of this change that miraculously doesn’t affect you. 

“I would like to know who put that stick so far up your ass that you thought it was necessary to yell at your employee about 10 damn minutes. If you don’t mind, I have a job to get to.”

And I go and sit at my desk. He fumes quietly in the office for a while before coming out to his desk, returning to whatever he was doing before he pulled me aside to treat me like a child.

Not a few hours later, I get a call from a member that had been working directly with Bob (big ordeal that needed a manager a few days prior, so he was the go-to for this particular account), and they wanted to speak with him, claiming it was urgent. I hold the call and stand up, trying to get Bob’s attention quietly since there’s other calls happening around me. I call his name quietly, saying “phone for you, it’s [member’s name]” but he doesn’t seem to hear me because he doesn’t respond. So again, I whisper his name, this time leaning more towards him to hopefully catch his eye with the movement, but he cuts me off before I can get the member’s name out

He starts yelling. Like, at the top of his voice, yelling. In a small room, to a person less than 5 feet away, audible to everyone both on a call and not (I would later find out it was also audible over the phone! a member asked what the yelling was about. but I’m the unprofessional one)

“CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY? WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO BOTHER ME WITH CAN WAIT. GET BACK TO WORK.”

The resolve I’d summoned earlier didn’t stay with me, and this was the final straw. It’s one thing to be berated to and humiliated one on one, it’s another to be on the receiving end of it in the presence of 20 other people. I get back on the phone and tell the member, “I’m very sorry, he’ll have to return your call. He’s unavailable at the present.” and hung up, because I was about to cry and I needed to get out. I log out of everything, lock my computer, pick up my belongings and wave to one of my carpoolmates as I walk out and down to HR

they wound up convincing me to stay for a few more weeks, especially after they fired Bob (who it would turn out was going through a divorce, his second in four years, and I just happened to be the punching bag he needed that day), but eventually I left and never went back

[ Critical Role Ask Meme ]

[icharchivist]

still, for all that is about DA that is kind of just “I play it like that because that’s how i feel”, and the fact my characters all have a rather Neutral Good moral compass, I still love that I can really feel the difference between my characters?

Long OCs ramble bc I can wouhouh!

Kurai, my very first Warden, a Dalish Elf, was probably the character I thought the least about because she was my very first character and I was suuper confused by the story. But still, she was a good person. She had a huge sense of honor, and she was respectful until people weren’t with her, in which case she would end them. She was a warrior, she was upfront. She was kind and compassionate, but she was also probably my most moral character. Since she was saved by the Wardens, she has great respect for their order, knowing she could have died. So to her, fighting for the greater good is an honor. While realizing how much work is ahead, she stood proud and wasn’t afraid. She had to do it. That’s probably why her and Alistair ended up being an item, they work out of each other there.

Laven, my second Warden, a City Elf, was much more cynical. She was bitter, she knew the world wasn’t fair. She wanted to do good, but if she had to get her hands dirty, she would. She would fight for the underdogs, and she would insult those she deemed unworthy. She was a free electron in her own way (which in a way is why it doesn’t bother me in dai that she did leave alone with Zevran to find a way against the Calling without warning anyone, seems like her). Also, ye, her romance with Zevran just fits her so much, since the ending of Awakening having her running away with Zevran in Antiva to fight the Crows by his sides is 100% her. And in the end, she mostly did everything because she was dragged into it for the worst way possible and there was no way she stood by when the world was falling apart. She would fight with her frustration and anger, but wasn’t scared. Too bitter for that.

The best parallelism between Kurai and Laven is how they both handled meeting the King and arriving to the Landsmeet. While Kurai didn’t like Shems, she knew she was out of her elements meeting the King, so she was respectful, knowing she was living by others people’s rules. In the Landsmeet, despite her dislike for Loghain, she stayed contained and calm knowing the stakes. Laven, however, insulted the King the first time she saw him because she was angry at how everything was in Denerim, and she was bitter. She’s been taken away because she brought justice, she won’t be any nice now. The fact the King showed regrets touched her in a way, but she was still angry. And in the Landsmeet, she made all the aggressive comments possible against Loghain and Howe, because her blood was boiling, and damn the consequences. She has come this far, it won’t be for Shems to take it away from her.

In a way Laven is probably my most ruthless character - and despite that she still was quite kind and nice. I still did every morally good things I could. But i also picked up all the stealing and stuff quest because that’s how much she didn’t care. She became the Dark Wolf too, which is neat.

Alma, my Hawke, was a Green/Diplomatic/Helpful Rogue, and she was just. Trying so hard. My reasoning was always that, she was always there for her family. She was overprotective, she took all the burden she could. She would get aggressive if you threatened her family. She’d get charismatic in order to distract people from her world falling apart, or to distract them from her sister. So she was cracking jokes from time to time, she was easy going, but always full of duty. She ended up being extremely involved in mage’s rights because she would have done everything for her sister. Once she was taken by the circle, this became even a stronger feeling.  So it did lead her to get close to Anders more easily because she felt strongly about his plight. And why the ending of the game hurt her this much, because it wasn’t the way. She was respectful and kind, sometimes snarky, aggressive if you hurt what she loved, she was taking the burden of the world on her shoulders, and ended up being defeated by it. In a way, Alma was positive. she knew from the begining she was in a corner, and tried to fight her way out of it with a smile on her face, and the world did everything to have her crumble until she couldn’t take it anymore. She’s by far the most tragic one.

And finally Laena, my Inquisitor - She was anxious from the start. None of it was ever meant to happen. It’s not like she liked the Circle, but she had a place and a very small world to take care of until the rebellion. Hell, the fact the Circle was such a small world isolated her, she was in no way ready to deal with the Whole World, she wasn’t meant to. Her survival at the Conclave is a miracle, and immediatly after that, she was asked to stand and fight. She realized she had no choice pretty quickly, but she was devasted from the start. A survivor’s complex in a way, she was the only one who made it out - and people would say it was because she was chosen and it freaked her out. She wasn’t worth choosing. She didn’t want to be chosen. The revelation that all was just dumb luck is even worse, because she doesn’t consider herself special, she didn’t walk this path willingly, nothing prepared her for that. And now so many people lay her hope on her, and it scares her. She has to act strong, to help everyone, people are expecting so much of her, and she knows she can’t show weakness. But she was completely unprepared for this mess, and even now that all is over - especially now that all is over - she is completely lost. Where to go now, how to make it all work? This is frightening. And she has to stay collected, to give people’s hope, but at what cost? But she will always feel like it’s not her place, like she cannot judge, that she wasn’t made for this. And, that’s why I could see her fall for Cullen too. As an advisor he was always giving her advice, always helping her doing so. She could let her guard down around him, she could tell him how she only felt terrified, and he would reassure her. He brought her reassurance and stability, and she knew he wasn’t expecting of her to do everything on her own. He brought her the comfort she needed. His own fears of not being strong enough, of fucking up again, of letting people down, resonated with her and they could help each other out. It brought comfort.

I played all of my characters to be rather nice, pick good choices, fighting for those who needed it. And tbh I was kinda scared that maybe it made them all too similar but I end up thinking about it, and no. They are all so different.

Kurai was proud and strong, and even if slightly scared at time, she stood tall and her bravery took over everything. She knew she had to do what she had to do and she did it.

Laven was bitter and furious at life. She did what she had to because there was no way she was going to show defeat. She wasn’t scared, she was angry, and if her life hadn’t defeated her until then, it’s not an archdemon who will.

Alma was optimistic, sweet and kind, funny and gentle, but the world around her did everything to break her. To make her unable to carry it on. Alma ended her journey sad, and left alone. Also in my timeline I had her kill Anders, her lover, so it’s like, kind of horrifying for her too. Everyone and Everything pushed her world to fall apart, and the whole World blamed her for it. She went from optimistic to defeated, sad, heavy, wondering if it even mattered, if how much she sacrificed was even worth it.

Laena was anxious from the start - scared. She was unsure and still is unsure. Nothing reassured her, everything just added weight on her shoulders, weight she was never meant to carry, something she knows happened just because of her compassion and dumb luck. So now she’s trying to hold it all together because that’s what people need of her - and she realizes that the world needs her, even if she doesn’t know how. More than all the others, she relies on the people around her. She tries to stand tall, but unlike Alma who did it to convince herself it’ll be okay, she does it solly for people’s around her.

And I really like that, despite their similitudes, I feel so strongly for each of them. I am proud of each of them so much.

I was also kinda scared I self projected on them in a way, since it always end up happening creating ocs, but their differences make up for what I think. It’s kinda funny dkjhdjfk I see a bit of myself in all of them. Kurai’s gentleness, Laven’s frustration, Alma’s trying to handle the world crashing down with a smile while she’s herself crumbling, and Laena’s anxiety and urge to carry on when she never asked for it, despair contained by her duty to others. I love them all.

[matsbarzal]

Jail Time - Dylan Strome

Notes: so like when dylan bleached his hair all i could think about was the fact he looked like a frat boy who spends his time entering abandoned buildings and it’d be wild to see him get caught, but enjoy this stupid ass imagine love yall also im only posting this bc he got sent down poor dyl

Warnings: none

Requested by Anonymous: Hiii, I’m not sure if requests are open, but if they are could you maybe write some Dylan Strome fluff? I don’t have anything specific in mind since I’m not all that creative haha, thanks xx

It wasn't like Dylan to not be back to your shared Mississauga apartment when he told you he would be, if anything, usually he was back earlier than he even said he would be. You weren't necessarily worried, you knew he was with his brothers, but there was a small voice in the back of your mind, constantly urging that something was wrong.

The small voice didn't prevent you from falling asleep, cuddled up in the king-sized bed that Dylan and you usually shared.

It felt like you were only asleep for minutes when your phone began screeching beside you, an unknown number flashing across the screen. You debated clicking the end call button, but the persistent voice in the back of your head had you clicking the green button instead.

"Hello?"

Your heart skipped a beat when the voice on the other end of the phone began speaking, "(Y/N)... I need your help."

"What do you mean you need my help?"

The nerves began kicking in, the worry already taking over all your reasoning as you listened to the voice on the other end of the phone. "I'm kind of... in jail."

"What do you... you know what, never mind, where?" Your nerves and worry were completely gone, and instead replaced with slight anger.

He relied the name that the police officer told him, grumbling to you that it was the 'worst day of his life' and if you had stopped him from hanging out with Ryan he 'wouldn't be here right now'.

"Oh yeah, Dyl, blame me for you ending up in jail, jackass."

After slipping out of bed and changing into suitable clothes, you were immediately in the car and on the way to Dylan's current predicament spot. It took you a few minutes to get there, but when you did, you were practically seething.

How did I end up with the boyfriend who ends up in jail? I don't even wanna know how he got there, jesus.

After walking in, the vested officer instructed you to wait there, advising you that the 'boy would be out in a minute'.

Impatiently tapping your foot, you waited for them to bring a very grumpy looking Dylan from his waiting cell.

"Next time, my advice is that you adhere to the 'no-trespassing' sign, or you'll be getting into more trouble than just a few minutes here."

Nodding his head, Dylan allowed you to guide him towards the car, a small grin growing on his face.

"Would you like to tell me how this is funny, Strome?"

"I've just... I've never seen you so angry before." You glared at him, pushing him towards the car as you moved towards the drivers seat.

"So care to enlighten me on where your brothers are?"

Laughing at your choice of words, Dylan put his arms up in an 'I don't know' sort of way. "As far as I know, at home, in bed. Ryan ditched me the moment he heard the sirens."

"Where'd you even go, Dylan?"

"So basically, you know that abandoned hospital close to my parents old house? It's Ryan's bachelor party, so we decided to go there, like our own made up escape room, but it kind of backfired when all of Ryan's friends, including Ryan, ditched."

His laughter continued, your annoyance growing stronger with every tinkle of laughter that left his mouth. "This isn't funny, Dylan! If this gets to the press, you're gonna get in shit. Have you thought about your career? Ryan's career?"

Shaking his head, Dylan continued to laugh, your reaction just encouraging his annoying laughter. "They brought me in to prove a point, babe. It was terrible, though." 

"You were in there for like 3 hours, Dylan, how can it be terrible." You put an air-quotation around the word terrible, quirking at eye at your idiot of a boyfriend.

"I couldn't piss or they'd watch me! It was weird."

"You're naked around 17 other guys all the time, and that's weird? You're fucked."

Pulling into the apartment driveway, you turned into your designated parking spot and turned to your boyfriend. "You're an idiot, I can't believe it."

Both of you walked towards the apartment, Dylan trying to gauge a better response than anger from you. "C'mon, (Y/N)... it's not like I killed someone, babe. I just got caught trespassing, it's all Ryan's fault anyways. Who leaves the fucking headlights of their car on at an abandoned building, the idiot?"

Groaning, you pushed open the door to your apartment and looked at the clock.

3:03am.

"Why do I even love you, you god damn jackass?"

You pulled your shoes off and moved towards your bedroom, actively ignoring your boyfriends protests from behind you. "Dylan, shut up, I'm going to sleep, because you decided to go to jail and disrupt that earlier."

Dylan was actively protesting behind you, trying to grab your hand which you easily swatted away in favour of cuddling up in bed. You pulled the covers over your body, ignoring Dylan as he stripped and climbed into bed beside you.

"Baby..." Wrapping his lanky body around you, he tried to press kisses against your ear while you tried to protest.

"Dylan... stop! I'm trying to sleep."

Pouting, he repeatedly pressed his lips to your cheek, aggressively attacking your cheek and neck.

"(Y/N), I love you so much."

"Dylan, I will literally break up with you if you don't shut the fuck up."

"Wow, aggressive. I'm just trying to demonstrate my love for you, and all you want to do is break up with me. Couples who pick each other up from jail, stay together."

Turning over to face him, the glare was permanently etched on your face. "I wish you were more like Ryan, he was smart enough to run away."

"I was smarter! I survived jail!" Groaning, you slapped at his chest.

"You survived sitting in a cell for 3 hours, doing nothing. Now go to sleep."

You emphasized the last four words, cuddling up to Dylan's chest as he wrapped his lanky arms around your body.

"Goodnight, my future wife."

"I'm not going to be your future wife if you don't shut the fuck up, and let me sleep."

[thegeminisage]

today’s zeldablogging which is full of spoilers:

the sight of my new sword sends a thrill into my heart tbh

if i ever replay this game, which tbh idk if i will, it's so Big, SS was only a third or a quarter of this size and i've only beaten it twice, im going to get it as soon as possible next time

anyway im back at the tower i suppose i'll crawl down and check out the enemies properly

i dont like gliding to towers i've discovered bc it feels like i've been plopped down into the middle of nowhere with no context

vs if i walk to them i know "where" i came from/am, if that makes any sense

(it doesn't)

i can see that flying thing closer than ever from here and it's DEFINITELY a divine beast no doubts left

yk tho. i dont WANNA check out the enemies. i wanna find that weird blanked out place at the top of my map!

haha i can feel it already

i'm so anxious to get to the end of the game and uncover the plot im gonna be like "FUCK EXPLORING" for the rest of it and only go to the places i need, now that i've got this map

i can always do more thorough exploration after, i've been spoiled that there's postgame content, but even if there's not like any other zelda game it'd put me right back before the final battle

god im having to go ALL THE WAY AROUND the lost woods i can't even glide over the nearby river to make the path shorter i bet there's an easier way to do this from the other side but i havent been there yet

ah, another forest covered in fog. black fog. how inviting.

ohhh, it's a shrine trial. wonderful. in the pitch blackness!

this is already worse than eventide

luckily i have the weird glowy skeleton suit i bought from the boy gerudo clothes store

i forgot to mention it bc i had no IDEA what it was for, but here we are

like. this has to be lmao

i keep dying in my first six steps what am i doing wrong??

oh, maybe bc i'm gliding in, i see a bridge on the map

ohhh god i hear a hinox...why, lord

haha im like.following the ways the statues point and. they're pointing at the hinox! wow!

lol when i realized the stone birds had torches on top i started over so i could light them all

OHHH I WOKE UP THE HINOX I DIDN'T EVEN GET A SURPRISE ATTACK IN

MASTER SWORD HELP ME

oh god this glowy armor has no defense!!

i'll just leave the helm on, then

oh thank fuck i used an atk+ elixir and it waasnt so bad

see, like, i COULD explore that upper ridge but thanks to the map i already know it's full of silver lynels. no thanks.

oh my god the yiga clan is RELENTLESS right here i guess bc i'm going around the back of (shudder) hyrule castle

oh!! a stable, thank goodness, i was starting to get wigged out

i guess all those people on the road had to have meant something

this isn't even on the map!!

oh wait lol yes it is

aww, i don't see beedle here...i was sure he'd be at everyone, i don't think i've encountered one where he isn't yet...

i'll be honest, i've grown kind of bored of combat

and know i'm biased but i genuinely i don't think it's me, i think it's the game's difficulty/"difficulty"

i used to see monster camps and think STRATEGY, is there a beehive, barrels to blow up, a place i can glide down from, this is so fun!

which gradually morphed into "okay this is gonna be a bit of a long haul but there'll be Treasure and sniping from afar is still fun"

idk if the black bokoblins/moblins/etc show up after you've done more things or bc of the area you're in but i'm noticing more enemies with more health, higher defense, and higher attack, and the barrels/metal boxes/beehives/etc becoming rarer, and when they do appear, being almost pointless to use because you're more likely to blow yourself up than do any real damage to the mobs

and like i love this game. it absolutely deserves every bit of its raid reviews, and this feeling COULD just be because i've been marathoning it for 12 straight days and i'm anxious to see the end and get back to my life

but to me, attacking a flat area full of black moblins and bokoblins isn't fun even with the stealth/snipe element bc you can't take them out in 1-3 shots, you have to stop and slash at them, and that alerts EVERYONE else, and it's just pointless

(lol i found some flat ruins by the stable which triggered this rant)

like, even the yiga clan hideout - my instinct was to snipe the enemies as i went, which would have made it a bit more fun imo, even though the stealth bit wasn't bad and i enjoyed that section quite a lot

i just don't like the—idk a better term for it unfortunately—"fake difficulty" thing where you just have to slog your way thru 1000s of random battles, i don't like it in rpgs either

kind of like almost wherever i explored at first i would run into minibosses rarely and then almost constantly

which, yeah, most of them aren't as hard now, But Still, it's the point of the thing

maybe i'm a bit defensive about "real gamer" bullshit and "women can't game" stereotypes while being super bad at games my whole life while my brother was fantastic at them

but like i just don't find that fun?? sure a good challenge once in awhile like eventide isle would be fine (even tho that was hellish and i'll never do it again) but that should be. every once in awhile, not. EVERYWHERE

anyway

frankly @ this point i'm REALY tempted to speed thru it before my surgery

bc i would hate to be laid up in bed and still have to worry about mobile browsing bc botw spoilers and tumblr's interface being awful

anyway i can;'t travel further in this direction without getting over near rito/hyrule field territory

and not only are those towers further away than i'd like but i wanted to do gerudo highlands first so back to the desert i go i guess rip

oh my god the wastelands tower goes down into NOTHINGNESS you're SUPPOSED to apporach from above

also i heard kass!! kass, buddy, where are you ;_;

oh i LOVE these cliffside structures i've been looking forward to them for so long

but i can't find kass ;_;

ALL tower shenanigans must CEASE until he is located!!

wait, he's...i see him! he's at the top of the tower! oh my god!

I'M COMIN, KASS

awww he wants to play the song for the hero who fell 100 years ago! he doesn't know it's me! ;__;

oh gross level two cold here and i didn't bring much cold food...just my warm doublet

wait

i have food AND the jacket and im STILL cold? this is level THREE? wtf wtf wtf

good thing i also have the ruby circlet but jeeeesus

i still have no food so i can't stay long

oh shit i found some guardians

still ones thank god

dude i found a HUGE cool mural for one shrine!!

yeah, this game is definitely still as full of fun secrets and as deslightful as when i first began playing it

and it came at a good time bc i just lost angela and it helped me feel Real Joy again

most displeasure i find with it now is because "AAAH ZELDA AT SOME POINT I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY FUCKING LIFE"

i'm so worried about spoilers and being behind now that some of the fun is draining away

i think after a bit of time has passed i'll either go back and finish exploring properly or straight up start a new file

and do it Thoroughly

when i can relax and go at my own pace instead of feeling like i'm racing the internet, my dashboard, my friends, my brother, etc

this region is soooo cold and i am so certain i'll get better cold gear in the rito area that im just activating the shrines and not even going inside to use my little food as efficiently as possible

im lit not even going inside

oh it's dropped to level 2 cold...thank god

THERE i got them all now to rush to ritoland

wait...i thought i read the 10k fairy wrong but i see ANOTHER on the map!

i bet SHE wants 10k and i have four thousand fucking rupees UGH

i thought there were only 4 and the horse fairy counted.......

ohh my god the divine beast is much closer from where i'm gliding...it's so big

I SEE DINAAL BUT I'M ON A FUCKING GLIDER SLKDFJGH

oh i've been typing it wrong all this time. dinRaal.

ohhh this region is so pretty so far...unlike the highlands which is miserable, i HATE snow in this game, i actually do wanna explore around here, i wish i didn't feel so hurried

oh god that divine beast is just So. it is So Big

god i passed the fairy on my way to the tower...10k! and i haven't been watching my cash bc i thought i misread something

all this time i've had 12 and 13 thousand rupees and i was blowing them on dumb shit

SILVER bokoblins...? come ON

good loot, tho

got the tower!

ohhh man. tat divine beast. oh boy. oh dude. big. so big. jesus fuck

oh hey i see rito village!! just where i wanted to go first

they better have good cold gear here :|

OH FUCK THERE'S THE BEAST SCREECHING

oh my god it's SO BIG im SO SCARED jesus FUCK

i wonder if kass will be here

IT'S RITO ISLAND MUSIC

IM GOING TO CRY

IT REALLY IS!!!! IT REALLY IS RITO ISLAND MUSIC

oh god it's BEAUTIFUL

aw omg the goddess statue here has a flower crown!

all right, fifteen heart containers...the rest will be stamina 5ever

no wait fuck i should have gotten stamina this time!! i'll get a heart from the beast

well i know you can trade them, somewhere out here i think

this beautiful too tbh this is all nice and orchestrated Damn

geez the armor will set me back even more money! not TOO much but when you're saving up for 10k...

well, against my brother's advice, i'm selling monster parts...i know i'll regret it later if i need them to upgrade armor, but i'm trying to stick to the common ones i have like 100+ of, so

aaand 10! woohoo

awww all the little baby rito in the hammocks :')

OMG the biggest rito looks like an owl! kaepora reference

oooh here comes a memory

AHAHAHA

revali and link were rivals. ok. im down with that for sure

and his specisal ability! an updraft!! PERFECT tbh

aww teba's husband doesn't want her son to be a warrior

tho i like the idea that ritos are hotheads hahahaha

zoras and gorons are both kinda collected we needed some assholes

HA i look forward to when revali gives me his special ability

i'm crying teba is such an asshole i LOVE him

wow i guess it's time to fight the beast already...? that was so FAST

omg i get to ride him!!!! yessss

oh my gosh we're up so HIGH oh man oh man the world is so tiny but i know it's really so huge oh god the divine beast is so BIG

lol i probs should have upgraded this rito armor.......

oh well too late now lmao

ohhh i love it when they talk to me

TEBA?

HE'S HURT OMG ):

nintendo would never kill him but omg im so worried about him

AAAAAH THERE'S REVALI

ohhh he's a DICK i LOVE HIM

ooh the master sword DOES glow when it's near the malice blight stuff

lowkey tempted to go back and upgrade this armor lol but i don't wanna leave and who even knows if i have the mats...

i'll just brave it thru like this and it'll be something to brag about later since apparently i suck at everything else

like doing eventide with five hearts on the blood moon

LMAO REVALI IS SO SMUG "you'll need to activate all the terminals, think you're up to it?" he's a DICK and i LOVE HIM i LOVE THE RITO

the music in this one is SO COOL?

i feel more like i'm fighting for my life/against something larger here, rather than just trying to creep through gently without disturbing anything and solve a puzzle for the others

and it's 100% bc of the music jesus christ

i LOVE how much gliding is involved this is EASILY my favorite divine beast so far

lol revali's tone of surprise in "there are two terminals remaining" i love him so much

"just one terminal remaining hmph what do you know" pls

all five down now the true test is can i beat the boss LMAO

the last 3 weren't nearly as bad as i expected, tho the lightning one's teleporting thing was almost too fast for me with my one-handed weapons

so maybe hopefully with good food this will be OK too

ok, i got level 2 cold food so i can get by with just wearing the pants :U not as much defense as i'd like but better than nothin

"it only defeated me bc i was winging this"

"can't believe i'm saying this but avenge me link!!"

ohhh there's accordian in this version of the fight song 

KASS ;_;

i wonder if kass's teacher WAS revali, or knew him

LMAO revali trash talks me when i get hit

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME i didnt even watch that movie and im laughing at the meme

lmao "broke" the master sword with the last bow

eeeewww

DAAAAAMN

wouldn't even look at link as he left "your job is far from finished you know zelda has been waiting an awfully long time"

haha "i'll be plucked" as well thanks nintendo

"we've been ARTFULLY patient these last 100 years you won't suffer a feather over a few more moments"

geez i love him so much

that was definitely the best divine beast

tho the zora one is a close second

i gotta go make sure teba is ok

IM CRYING ZELDA JUST TOLD ME TO GO TO HYRULE CASTLE

soon i promise ok

time to go see the great fairy :U man i really thought my armor had been improved all it could be...

and 10k down the drain...

omg she's pink :3

im ALSO warping back to akkala to see if i can get any guardian armor yet i've collected a fair amt of parts!

LMAO I FINALLY HAVE THE MATS AND I DON'T HAVE THE CASH rip

ohhhh i see a new storm over hyrule field...DNW

lol maybe i SHOULD have explored it before now...too late now

holy shit i almost ran straight into a flying guardian going after this soul piece

ok, i need a plan...if i wanna beat the game before friday i gotta be Smart

i still need to finish exploring all the provinces, at least at the sursory level i gave to the highlands, but hopefully maybe a little better

i need to go back and do shrines and sidequests

and obviously i need to actually finish

counting today i have three days left so i guress i'll assign one task to each day, the last task obviously being on thursday

less than two hours left for playtime today, but i guess today i should explore, tomorrow i should shrine/sidequest, and i can do a LITTLE of that thursday if needed, and thursday i'll storm hyrule castle. ok

slkfjgh

SDLFGJHDLFKJG god. ok

aaaah the ruins music makes me so sad ):

pffft cute i got a memory where zelda was like STOP FOLLOWING ME I DONT NEED A BODYGUARD at link how adorable

i wanted to get all the memories before i beat the game but they're like ALL in/around hyrule field/castle and i'm afraid if i go there now that i've gotten all the beasts freed i'll trigger endgame events that i can't stop

so i guess i fucked myself over

i think i'll go ahead and get all the towers tho

so i can move around freely

i have time for like one MAYBE two before stream starts

aw this tower in the cold place is so cute and short

looked it up & apparently the heart/stamina swap is in hateno so im gonna go find it!

oh i came at night but that monster store guy is here!!

omg DUDE he sells DARK LINK gear?!?!

and apparently your movement speed goes up at night

the mask and bridles are pretty cool but i HAVE to have this

lmao and i just sold all my parts for that 10k...!

man he doesn't give you a lot tho...like, it has its own currency...i could never sell enough to get even one :/

ok, i can buy the tunic or the legs...but not the face. hmm

i guess the legs alone would look pretty dumb, but i have black pants and a hood that can kinda go with the tunic, so

this is kinda outta nowhere but i wish there was a recipe book for everything we've unlocked or read about, i just can't keep it all in my head

LOL omg that was freaky

okay but now i gotta quit

i didn't get all that i wanted to done, but maybe more later tonight but def tomorrow!!

playing a bit more bc bad choices

oh hmm it looks like i was mistaken and that storm isn't over the castle afterall! thank goodness

oh my god there's SO many shrines in the hebra peak range?? why???

LMFAO im thawing blocks of ice to get to this shrine and one has a moblin in it

me: stops thawing

OH MY GOD

THIS RANGE HAS AURORAS

IM GONNA CRY JFC

and i missed snapping a picture because of enemies!!! im so mad

too bad SO sad i am going back to those fires that started and waiting for night again i WILL get a picture

ugh and now it's snowing

i guess i could unlock this nearby shrine in the meantime

ooh, is that a cabin

;___; old man

end of the game and i still miss you

O: shield surfing

oh man i didnt actually wanna DO it now but

i actually dont know how to do the thing lol

lord, i had to google it. no one said a thing about pressing A

that was fun!! also i was worried i'd get lost so maybe i'll just. not do this for now

THERE! YES! AURORAS!

ooh god there's a silver lynel down there

i know i've been bitching over and over about fights but i lowkey wanna fight it to see if i can

i won't though bc my cold armor isn't very upgraded and my defense would be shot probably even with def+ food

as an aside im glad rivali's ability recharges so quickly i was afraid they'dmake me wait ages like the others

ohhh my god there's SO MANY silver lynel around here WHY

they have such a long detection range and such a scary roar )))):

thank god for rivali's gale i can fly right over him...otherwise i'd have to Run

there's another maze shrine here and im highkey like Ugh

idk if i'll quit when i get to the entrance or after i solve the maze...

i guess i'll give it a quick try and if it's horrible i'll stop until later

naturally i'm wondering if i can solve it on my map first and/or get to the top

if i could before with as little stamina as i had then: sure i'd be able to

probably there are guardians and the answer isnt THAT easy but

the entire maze seems to be one path which is absolutely useless to me like it doesn't look like a maze you solve on paper so i obviously have to find a door or go above or below all that somehow

uh

there are no guardians up here at ALL

in fact i think i even see a hole down to the shrine...

ok, what's the catch, what gives

ah no the hole only goes down a couple of feet and has a chest with a diamond in it

the devs saying "nice try but no" lol

i did find the entrance pretty quick from the top tho! and now i can warp back anytime

or no wait this WAS the challenge i can just go get my orb and ches

DUDE THE ATK+ LEGS......DUDE

ok i gotta figure out the shrine the chest is in and get it i NEED it this armor plus a def+ elixir? i'd be unstoppable, no more dodging fights for me!

well, less dodging fights

ok, so i looked it up and the chest is in a gerudo maze which i didn't even know existed bc i either missed it on the interactive map or it wasn't ther

but it looks Difficult so im gonna save it for tmrw

[jameypants1-blog]

jameypants1 Wow I just lost a post spent last few hours on it got into the two Mary's of Christianity representing same woman and how the Mother aspect of you is what keeps me from degeneracy, from running off to child fuck island with the Clinton's or skiing with Kim. As I wrote it realized it was the best piece I've ever written. Went on to explain that being with you is not suffering Evil, you aren't evil just nonjudgmental and intolerant of me being intolerant, that if I'm to beat this beast out of Love for everyone then I won't do it by hating on even them bc that would be hypocrisy and in violation of free will and that you'd break see me broken again and again long as I tried to cheat out of here and I explained that I'm portrayed as a virgin and that virtuous women my nun army of virgin wives were representative of your jealousy which there was also no trading BJ's with anyone loophole around bc the other aspect of Mother is the world's most notorious whore who washed my feet and I hers and who ever after is my wife until death do us part a junk clause bc we're immortal caretakers of our own souls and anyone with a problem with you and I being together with any complaints about smelling you on me must be as afraid and suspicious of women as wsb or the very Devil who made sure that Religion villified and why few Queens enjoyed the stature of Kings bc of the likes of you, Elite of your own, not against them even work for them sing their songs lobby for them keep their secret even though they murder the world who you let be responsible for themselves extend kindness to but feel no obligation to enlighten since anyone really in need of knowing will, let them do their own homework bc freedom is earned not anyone else's responsibility to bestow upon them, your love of the most vulnerable in this sick society close as you'll ever see fit to protect or embolden anyone and that's not Evil it's pretty fair even it's just not how I'm wired and you're cool with that so long as I don't become bff's with every woman bound to fall in love with me should they know me which is why it may sound like all my friends are guys when it's actually women I respect most all the advice daddy ever gave me is don't get queer and stop playing with yourself, which amounts to don't cheat on your wife mind your Mother so he's a big help I guess and all these karma police antipop jambi lambasting bff's of mine implying I do it all for you not love of neighbor can kiss my ass since when is loving your woman more than anyone else a symptom of diminished character? By God you are my other half what makes a human whole hearted and everyone deserved that straight gay whatever but for me you and you me so how we under arrest karma police serving human best interest or perversly jealous twats? I'm leaning strongly toward twats. That wolfman coming out shit Neil wrote even eggs me on to kill you! And plenty of your friends sure love it if you kill me so wtf is up here? Who is suffering Evil? Me for loving my impartial wife who offends the dear leader by loving me the Judas of the book of Lucifer over her Loyalty to keep their secret or me for suffering them their Savior who took away no one's center but made them immortal delivered them from Evil, shine upon the broken benevolent son, yeah Maynard that's my fucking job and that's what I'm do and when the two become one which you damn we'll know we already are what catastrophe is it to win lose or draw keep the band together no matter what and take however many runs as this Hydra upon the bloodied battered face of the Earth as it takes to win or defy NADA and evac flight away from here, no one but those who choose Evil forsaken. She chose me. I'm not Evil. And no Evil would ever choose me. Women take a beating bc of her loyalty and love, blamed as the reason we Original Sinners knowing Good from Evil got a satellite religion shaped around us organized under Law to that us should we make good on that one more round every last executed one of us swore against them. That she escaped execution offensive? I'm sorry jameypants1 she was clever enough to bewitch her way clear of inverted crucifixion or the Lions den, she should have denied me I guess like all of you and ran for the hills instead of sticking thru the bitter reprisal and snatching away my corpse, her dead body not theirs, and doing what she felt she had to to consecrate us beyond the same mortality she suspected same as you fellas running for you abrubtly cut short Judas lives soon as War on us was waged. Daddy didn't run he was kind enough to fuck the whole lot of us though soon as he realized I really was shutting down their house bc that fucking caveman never wants the good old days to end so he left his head way back there and held us, says he invited me in but I was already his son and your brother but it's always been my wife excluded from the group hug bc of jealousy, Kurt sure have loved to stick around trading BJ's but has a job to do drain me instead bc still smells my wife on me, that's pretty fucking far to go, marry a loathsome whore and get murdered maybe but for sure suicided leave me with Live Through This like I did that to any of you, fuck that I nutted out back there in the desert we all did and she wasn't the cause we were all possessed by hate not her we went after them not her she was just following me bc where else she gonna go when her insane husband and his band of anarchists were certain of their Rebellion to overthrown the royal crown of Satan in a truth telling crusade replete with assault upon temples and a pirate campaign encouraging everyday people to rise up against dear Satan and refuse to participate in his sick economy game. She's the one put up with some bullshit, I sure as fuck wouldn't have followed her into a fight I didn't agree with in the first place and sign on to stick with her forever if I didn't Love her more than even myself. And she signed on and not once has betrayed me. Only helpful advice I e er get is for Mother. And that we are the Monsters of this 2nd act is fucking obscene, the shit she's taken off me and over me is undeserved and my kissing all your asses running around afraid of her is all the proof I need of the severity of appreciation was taken out on me by the honorable public servants who gave me my day in the court of their loyal Patriots opinion. I daresay they knocked me absolutely out of my senses for me to be so tangled up in some bullshit and an embarrassment and human wreck when she showed up for me. Let's all stop pointing fingers at each other now and stop calling my girl Hitler ya freaks she's Pure, we're the intolerant ones. Suffering Fools, and me the King. I'm going to follow her now. I conclude she has the exit strategy to get us all out of this mess simply bc she's as sick as we all are of going through this, so sorry Daddy I know you love this game but we're burning down the house and doing something new so let's all stop being tadpoles and get froggy now take the leap of faith that NADA can't keep us from making into space rock adventures sans this fucked up holy war horsepiss what's driven us insane and bipolar. Stefani you want something Sacred from me you got it baby anything you want you got with me, follow you now, bc big dumb Rocky and friends keep getting knocked the fuck out. Mostly me. Mostly out of jealousy. So it's private time. Unless you and I can't trust each other unless my character is lacking unless they're all right about you and I'm too stupid to play with the big kids who wouldn't even be here without us, not saying anyone owes me anything as ever I do all this for free and out of Love and it doesn't inconvenience anyone more than my woman, the best part of me. So let's begin. Tired of repeating myself and let's have our love and loyalty again and not blame any of each other for what happened in the past which is behind us and not to be repeated like the stupid ugly history the elite creeps keep going here, this party's over, let's go 💡 light it up light it up. https://youtu.be/riAkBFKRqz0 Thank you for that daddy. Still cherish day I got that album, chilling with friend of mine, kid from work at BBQ joint, played lot of dice and drank and smoked listening to mostly his children's punk favs no/fx, blink182, etc bc this was pre computer and I didn't have any music bc CDs turned into beer funding. Anyway when I saw this out had him rush me the record store got it and some sex pistols bc punk lover he was had never heard of them, got home and insisted we listen to this first so he get an idea why metal was so cool since shit on the radio all he'd ever heard and by and large found it boring and stupid, hour after hour of blocks of metallic at work between occasional guns n roses or token play of paranoid give anyone the idea metal was mostly shitty I reckon, anyway when this got to chorus he and I exchanged a look that shocked me bc all a sudden he thought I must wanna fuck him. It was unspoken but palpable and within two minutes we were listening to pistols and fuck yeah that rocks really do hear the influence in all that kiddy punk he was into, would have hooked him up bad religion too but I was next best friend for a minute away from hearing br, maybe later gave whole album one listen before returning it for beer and that day was pretty much the end of that friendship, we hardly ever hung out after that bc you made him think I wanted to fuck him, always wanted to thank you for that, really embarrassing! And bullshit. Don't fuck my friends. They're too busy fucking me. Not that I'm unappreciative. I know you were looking out for me.