#why the fuck do i spend so much of my life typing out tags

[systemserendipity]

[dollfacefantasy]

Let Them See

pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader

summary: leon teases you while you're at the bookstore. on the way home, he has to pull over to deal with it.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, oral (m receiving), daddy kink, praise/degradation, dubcon elements (reader is scared of being caught), thigh fucking, he cums inside, car sex, road head, teasing in public, crying, sub space (forgive me if i'm using that incorrectly)

word count: 4.9k

a/n: i feel absolutely depraved. thank you to @sleepyluxe for the idea. this does reference my other fic, but it's not important to the plot. just if you read that one, this is like a little sequel! if you sent me a request, i am working on it, please be patient with me. i hope everyone enjoys. special smooches to everyone who reblogs and comments and sends me asks :) you don't know how much it means to me <3

tags: @dwkfan @tosuckmyweenis @pupthepokemonenthusiast @sleepyluxe @petitecolibri @death-paint @luniaxi @bizzarethirst lmk if you would like to be added to the list!

You gaze out the window of the car, looking around at the beautiful day outside the glass. You softly hum along to the song playing on the radio as Leon’s fingers rub tiny circles on your inner thigh. You occasionally look over at him to watch him drive, your eyes full of all the love in the world. Your boyfriend finally had some time off, and he was spending it with you.

The entire day so far consisted of the two of you going around and just doing whatever you wanted. Just having fun together. Now, you were on the way to the bookstore. You had no shopping agenda, it was just another stop on your series of activities.

He pulls the car into a parking space near the shop and shuts it off. He squeezes your thigh once more before leaning over to kiss your cheek.

“You ready, sweetheart?” he asks while stroking your face softly.

You nod and lean in for one more sweet kiss. 

The two of you exit the car and head towards the store. Your hand finds his immediately, interlacing your fingers together. You lean your head against his shoulder as the automatic doors glide apart to let you in. His expression softens when you display your need to be close, and he kisses the crown of your head.

You wander the aisles together, looking through different sections and pointing out different things you’d read or wanted to read. Eventually, you end up in the romance section. Leon shifts his position to stand behind you and watch from over your shoulder. His arms circle your form, encasing you against his chest while he nuzzles the side of your head and kisses your cheek a few times.

You smile and turn your head slightly to give him a small kiss as you read the synopsis of the book in your hand. You guessed he had missed you lately since he’d been working so much. He was usually pretty attached to you right after coming home, and you never minded because why would you? If he needed extra affection, you would never deny him that.

Your intuition was half-correct because your boyfriend had missed you and did want to be in physical contact with you constantly right now, but the reason behind his current touchiness was a different type of longing.

He was so pent up from being away from you. A couple of days before he left for his last mission you had let it slip that you wanted to call him Daddy, and he had been feeling wild ever since. Sure, he’d fucked you until you couldn’t walk prior to him leaving and spent nearly all of last night inside of you, but it wasn’t enough. He craved you so deeply. He could feel every cell in his body yearning for you.

In his time away, it felt as if images of you clouded his mind in every waking moment. If he wasn’t actively fighting for his life, but even in those moments too sometimes, he was thinking of you. Your blissed out, flushed face, and your soft parted lips spilling entrancing sounds of pleasure. The way he could nearly see a physical change once you heard him praise you or remind you to be good for Daddy haunted him each minute he was across the globe from you.

It was like a new part of you had been unlocked to him. A side of you that looked at him with such reverence that he almost couldn’t stand it. He loved every facet of your personality, but this piece of you that wanted nothing more than to love him and be taken care of drove him up the wall.

He takes a deep breath while peppering the side of your neck with gentle kisses, inhaling your scent. He lets out a hum next to your ear, quiet enough so only you can hear, but in a tone to let you know what he desires. 

Despite his hinting, you just smile again and give him another chaste kiss. You were still too focused on that book for his liking. He watches you flip through the pages and scan different passages. He is disinterested for the most part until a certain section of words catches his eye.

“His manhood glides into her sopping heat,” he reads with a low chuckle. He gives you another peck on your temple. “This what you read when I’m gone, honey? So dirty, but I guess I should’ve known.”

“Oh, shut up,” you say with a roll of your eyes. You gently jab your elbow back into his abdomen.

That makes him smile and hold you even tighter against his broad front. His hands slowly rub either side of your body while his warm breath is blowing over your neck.

“No, it’s ok, baby. I know you’re insatiable. You gotta take care of yourself somehow when I’m not there,” he says quietly against your skin.

“Leon,” you say in a warning tone. It wasn’t so much what he was saying that was starting to get you hot. It was the low rumble of his voice, his lips brushing your throat, and his thick biceps locked around you like boa constrictors.

“I can just see it. You in bed, book in one hand, the other down your shorts, those fingers playing with your pretty, aching pussy. Hips bucking while you bite your lip,” he breathes, “But it’s probably not enough, is it? No, I’ve got you trained so well, baby girl. I know you can’t cum without Daddy’s help. I bet you call out for me when I’m not there, wishing it was me buried between those cute legs instead of your hand.”

“Leon,” you say, trying to speak in a warning tone, but it comes out as a soft whine. Your cheeks felt hot and your head a little dizzy.

“Leon?” he mocks, “That’s not who you were crying for last night, sweetheart.”

“Daddy,” you correct yourself quietly, turning your head to look into his eyes. His lips curl further into a predatory grin.

“That’s it. Good girl,” he coos and kisses your nose, “Daddy’s girl is so smart, remembering things like that. Good to know you keep some of that mind after I fuck it dumb all night.”

The way he taunts you makes it feel like your knees are going to buckle. You try to plead with him through your eyes. The aisle you were in was empty and towards the back of the store, but your mind was running rampant with thoughts of someone else catching the words that left his mouth.

“What’s that look for, princess?” he laughs in a hushed tone, “I thought you loved when I talked like that.”

“What if someone hears?” you ask softly.

“Oh, baby,” he coos, “Are you afraid of someone seeing how pathetic you are for Daddy?”

Heat bunches in your lower abdomen making you shift a little. You nod.

“Scared of someone seeing how you rub those gorgeous thighs together? How you can’t meet anyone’s eyes? How you have to hold Daddy’s hand to feel ok?” he whispers before nipping at your earlobe, “And all just from a few words.”

Your breath hitches and you fight to keep the whimper blossoming in your throat inside. “We’ll get in trouble,” you say, your voice shaking.

“Aw, my sweet girl doesn’t want to get in trouble?” he teases, “Baby, we’re just talking. If you can just keep yourself under control, we’ll be fine. I know it’s hard for you though. You hear Daddy, and you become such a needy little slut.”

Your head hangs forward a bit. You stare at the ground trying not to let yourself lose it in public. You were slipping into that state of mind where all you wanted was to be good for him. You wanted to just drop to your knees and have him pet your head while you sucked him off.

He knows what’s going through your mind. He can read you like no other. One of his hands slides down to your stomach to gently caress you there. The book you were holding was long forgotten, and Leon smiles wide as you push it back onto the shelf.

“I mean, even if someone did hear me, it wouldn’t be that bad, would it? It’s not like they’re seeing you when we’re alone. When you’re whining and crying for my cock like a bitch in heat,” he rasps.

“Daddy, stop,” you whimper. You felt hot and achy with need. You just wanted him to hold you and fuck you until you couldn’t think, but you were stuck in the middle of this store with bright lights and people walking around and nowhere to be alone.

“Do you really want me to stop, angel?” he asks, “I know you love this. I know you love feeling all shy and needing me to make it better. I think deep down you want everyone to know what a whore you are for me. You want ‘em to know how I own you.”

You bite your lip. You were getting so turned on, you felt like you could cry. The mix of shame and arousal swirls inside your head and pushes all other thoughts out. It was just you and Leon right now, no one else mattered. Being seen like this was becoming less of a worry to you.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he says with a smirk, “I know you love it. I bet you if I put my hand down your pants right now, you’d soak my fingers. I just know you’re dripping from being reminded how pathetic you are for me.”

You turn around in his hold to hide your face against his chest. Your arms wrap around his body so that you’re as close as possible. If someone else saw you now, they might just think you were having a bad day and Leon was comforting you in earnest.

Your display of submission amuses him. His face is smug. He rubs your back and cradles your head.

“Aw, baby, are you gonna cry? Is this too much for you, sweetheart? Are you embarrassed I can get you this desperate from my voice alone?” he croons.

“Yes,” you say. Your tone is desperate, both for him and to leave the store.

“But why are you embarrassed, honey? You like being claimed, don’t you?” he coos and tilts your head up by your chin, taking in your flustered expression, “Yeah, you like when people see us, and they know that you’re mine just from one look. So what is there to be embarrassed about, babydoll?”

“I like it… but… I just… because-” you struggle to articulate yourself as you gaze into his piercing eyes and he begins rubbing his knuckles along your jawline.

“Because you don’t want anyone else knowing? No one else can see how much you like being controlled because it’s shameful, isn’t it? It’s humiliating to admit that you like me controlling everything, from the number of times you cum at night down to the clothes you wear when you wake up in the morning. No one else should know the infinite amount of vile, disgusting things you would do if I just asked you to,” he whispers and kisses your hairline.

He swipes his thumb across your lips slowly as he talks. When he’s done, he sticks the digit between your lips. You gently suck on it, maintaining eye contact with him all the while.

His eyebrows raise, indicating how pleased he is with you. “I really do have you perfectly trained. You don’t even think about it anymore. You feel any part of me in your mouth and you know to start sucking like a good little slut.” He pulls his thumb back out and smears your saliva over your lips.

“Can we just leave?” you ask softly, your eyes casting down again, “Please.”

“What? You don’t want to buy anything? You know I’ll pay,” he teases, knowing that shopping couldn’t be further from your mind right now.

“Please Daddy,” you whisper and look at him desperately. You were so soaked it would be uncomfortable if you stood there for any longer.

He presses a tender kiss to your lips, deciding to give you a break. “Yeah, beautiful. We can leave. I don’t think you could focus enough to read anything right now even if you wanted to.”

He takes you under his arm and starts to guide you out of the store. You keep your arms around him as you lean into his side.

“That’s my girl. My good girl,” he whispers and kisses the top of your head while the two of you walk through the exit, “You just need Daddy right now, don’t you baby?”

“Mhm,” you hum quietly as you make your way through the parking lot.

When you reach the car, Leon opens the door for you and helps you inside. He then quickly goes around to the other side of the car and gets in the driver's seat. He wastes no time turning it on and getting it into gear. The car whips out of the parking space and out to the road.

Your eyes continuously dart over to him. The urge to hop over the center console and into his lap was all-consuming. He briefly glances at you with a knowing look.

You take that as a signal and slowly reach across the car. Your hand lands at the top of his thigh and slides over his lap to palm him through his jeans. He was already half-hard from tormenting you in the store.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asks teasingly.

You tentatively pop the button of his jeans open and tug the zipper down. Your eyes are silently begging while your fingers begin massaging the outline of his length over his boxers.

“Just need to feel it. Please,” you say as your fingertips continue their miniscule movements.

He shakes his head and lets out a laugh while adjusting in his seat to give you better access. “You need it, do you?”

You nod and maneuver your hand into his underwear for direct contact. Your fingers wrap around him, feeling the heat of it pulsing in your grasp. Your content with that for a while, but soon you want more.

“Daddy, can I please suck your cock?” you ask.

Hearing your soft and sweet voice ask for something so vulgar made his dick twitch with need for you, but he tried to keep his reaction casual.

“Look at you, asking like a good girl,” he teases, “Can’t wait until we get home? Did Daddy get you too worked up?”

“Yes,” you say timidly, “I just… I need it.”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to explain,” he says, “You can suck me off, my love. Just be good, so we don’t crash.”

You nod quickly, happy he wasn’t going to torment you on the way home too. After unbuckling your seatbelt, you shift and lean over to his seat to put your head in his lap. He splays a protective hand across your back as you get in position. Without hesitation, you get to task and pull him out of his boxers.

You lick the bulging head a few times, but then wrap your lips around it and sink down. You flatten your tongue against the shaft, feeling the veins as you lower your head. He groans and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. His other hand rubs your back in small strokes.

“There you go, angel,” he says, “Fuck, I could never say no to your mouth.”

You suck gently before bobbing your head slowly up and down. One of your hands cups his balls and kneads them carefully. The noises of the blowjob sound through the car’s enclosed space. Leon fights the instinct to buck into your throat. Your mouth was just so warm and wet and soft. Absolute heaven. It was hard for him to focus on the road in this condition.

It was easy for you to focus on giving him head though. You work your mouth over him, paying attention to all his favorite spots and taking him as deep as you can. You rest your nose against his pelvis as you hold him in your throat. His thighs tense and the car jerks a little when he accidentally pushes on the brakes too hard.

“Jesus fuck, baby. Ease up a little,” he grunts. His hand on your back coasts up to your neck and caresses the base of your skull.

Not long after he says this, you pull off to catch your breath. While you take your break, you purse your lips and spit a fat glob of saliva onto his cock. It drips onto the head and then slides the rest of the way down to where your fist is now gripping him. You start jerking him and spreading your drool around his shaft.

You press sloppy, wet kisses to his tip. Some of his precum coats your lips before you open your mouth and bring him inside again. You make muted gagging noises while you try to get him deep again.

He wants so badly to watch you, to see that adorable dedicated look on your face and your eyes tearing up as you choke yourself. It’s driving him crazy having to watch the street ahead of him. He can also feel the simmering build up of release which he doesn’t want to do so soon or while he’s driving. His hips twitch more while he white-knuckles the wheel.

“Babe, calm down,” he hisses pointlessly. You’re wrapped up in your own little world right now, “If you don’t quit it, I’m gonna cum and then you’re not gonna get to have any fun when we get home.”

You sort of register that comment, but you were absolutely fixated on getting him to blow his load down your throat so you don’t stop.

He realizes instantly that you’re not going to let up. He makes a split second decision to pull a sharp turn onto a less busy road. He steers the car off of the asphalt and off road a little bit. Once there’s substantial distance between your vehicle and the road, he throws it in park and yanks you up by your hair.

“When I tell you to do something, it’s not a request,” he states simply. 

It takes a lot in him to keep up the serious persona and not smile at your face right now. You looked fucked out even though you hadn’t even come close to the main event yet. Saliva covers your lips and chin while your eyes project a dazed mix of arousal and guilt.

“But Daddy, I just wanted to make you feel good,” you say.

“Liar. I know you just wanted some cum down your throat cause you’re a greedy little slut, baby,” he chides, “Also, is it your job to ‘try’ whatever you want?”

You shake your head and look down like a puppy who’s been caught being bad. “I’m sorry Daddy,” you say softly.

“What is your job?” he asks, ignoring your apology.

“To be a good girl and listen to Daddy.”

“Hm, so you do remember. You’re not stupid then, just deliberately disobedient,” he says.

You open your mouth to dispute that but decide against arguing and shut it again. The way you were shrinking in on yourself made him want to ruin you even more.

“Good, at least it looks like you’re learning. I’ll have to remind you of the rest though,” he says and finally lets go of your hair, “Get your ass in the backseat.”

“But Daddy-” you start, about to repeat your fears from earlier about being seen.

“Enough with this ‘but Daddy’ shit. You wanna act like a whore, that’s how I’ll treat you,” he says, “Be grateful for the privacy you get. You’re lucky I didn’t just stop the car and fuck you in the middle of the street.”

Your inner thighs were slick with your arousal by this point. You could feel it when you began crawling past your seat to the back of the car. Leon slaps your ass as you make your way there, causing you to yelp.

He simply gets out of the car and enters the backseat through the door. He sits next to you and looks at you expectantly.

“What are you waiting for?” he asks, “Do you really need me to guide your every move? I know that’s not true because you just showed me it wasn’t.”

“I’m sorry Daddy,” you say again as you begin removing your clothes. You peel your top off and shimmy out of your pants.

“I know you are, baby. But I still have to teach you your lesson. You have to learn that Daddy knows best,” he says while taking off his own clothing.

You scoot closer to try and assist him, but he manages on his own and flips you over, pinning you to the seats. One hand is locked on the flesh of your hip while the other holds your head down against the leather. He’s kneeling behind you, hunched over due to his stature in the limited space.

He teases up and down your folds with the angry red tip of his cock, still leaking precum from the close call a few minutes ago. Your body yearns to be filled, but you keep quiet and try to appear patient.

“Do you even deserve my cock?” he asks as he bumps your clit. You would nod, but his hold on your head is strong. “I mean really, maybe I should be focused on training some patience into you. Teach you take what I give you and not vie for more.”

“Daddy, I’m sorry,” you whimper.

“I know, babydoll, that’s only the tenth time you’ve said that,” he mocks as he slides up and down through your slick, “But I can really show you what sorry is. Maybe I’ve been too lenient with you. What if, right now, I fuck your thighs? You keep those pretty legs together, nice and tight for me to use like a fleshlight.”

He pushes your thighs together like he described and begins slowly thrusting himself between them. He quietly grunts and kneads your ass.

“Please Daddy, no, I’m so-”

“Ah ah, don’t interrupt,” he tuts, not stopping his hips, “You’d probably still get off on it. You’re so whipped for me you’d probably cum if I smiled at you right.”

You stay silent. You knew he was teasing, but it might have been true. He knew all your buttons and just how to push them.

“Yeah, you know I’m right. My poor baby. You can’t help it. You don’t know any better, do you?”

“No…” you say quietly before your bottom lip juts out into a pout. The idea of him not fucking you properly while you were possibly the most horny you’d been in your life was deeply upsetting.

“No, you don’t,” he agrees in a condescending tone, “You just love Daddy so much. It’s not your fault your body is addicted to me. You don’t choose for your cunt to soak through your panties just from hearing my voice, do you? It just happens. Your heart knows it belongs to me.”

He speaks as if he’s comforting you which makes it feel so much worse and so much better at the same time. Your eyes water, the mix of emotion being a lot for you to handle in this state.

“It doesn’t care how pathetic you act because of it. All it knows is that you need your Daddy,” he says, his voice husky. He pulls away from the junction of your thighs and nudges your legs apart with his knees. He positions his cock at your entrance. “That’s why I’ll give you a pass, baby. You’re not a bad girl. You just need me to keep you in line sometimes.”

His grip has weakened enough that you’re able to nod. “Thank you Daddy,” you choke out as he pushes all the way inside in one go. You were so wet that he had no problem bottoming out immediately.

“Good girl,” he praises through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw, “So fucking wet, Christ.”

Everything felt right now that he was inside of you. The relief crashed on you like a wave. A couple tears leak from your eyes and your body shudders.

He starts pushing himself in and out, his head tilts back as he does. You clutch the edge of the bench while your eyes flutter. You felt like you were up in the clouds. The feeling of him twitching against your walls as he slid in and out was total euphoria. It was a little much to feel this way from a few strokes, but like he said, you couldn’t control it.

You bounce your hips back against his and he smacks it. You can tell from the sting that there will probably be a handprint on the skin. He lets you fuck yourself on it for a little while before he takes over again. He stares down to where the two of you connect, unable to tear his eyes from how your cunt sucks in his cock, your wetness gathering around the spot where your bodies link.

You whimper and cry as he picks up speed, pistoning into you. Your cheek feels numb from being squished on the cushion. Leon notices and leans down closer to you. It wasn’t unusual for you to get emotional during sex but seeing it always made his protective urges flare up. He wraps his thick arm around your neck from behind, putting you into a loving headlock. He lays some messy kisses on the side of your temple.

“I love my needy girl so much. You know that right?” he whispers while sensually rolling his hips against your ass, “I wouldn’t want you to be any other way. My sweet girl, so sensitive. I love you baby.”

“I love you too,” you cry. You lean into his kisses and lift one of your hands to rest it on his forearm.

Knowing you’re ok, he resumes his harsher thrusts, pulling you by your neck closer to him. He growls into your ear and nuzzles the side of your head.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, babe. Can’t last in this tight pussy, squeezing me like a fucking anaconda,” he moans.

You bite your lip and grip his arm tighter as you feel your own peak rising within.

“Where do you want it, baby girl?” he grunts in your ear.

“Inside, Daddy. Please,” you whine.

He chuckles and gives you one more kiss on the head for saying please. 

“I don’t even know why I ask anymore. Course you want it in your pussy. Even though you look so cute with Daddy’s cum all over your face, no thoughts in that pretty little head. Just happy you got some attention.”

“I like it inside,” you defend before gasping.

“I know you do, angel,” he says, his voice strained as the ecstasy begins to bubble over, “I like it too. Stuffing you full of me. A little reminder of who owns you once we’re finished.”

You nod as best you can in the headlock before your body seizes and jerks. Your orgasm rips through you, making you shake and moan through tears. You claw at his arm with both hands now, brokenly whimpering for Daddy over and over.

He can’t take it anymore. The sight beneath him mixed with the bliss of your cunt fluttering around him, it breaks the resolve inside him. He snaps his hips against you roughly and tightens his arm around you. He growls and grabs the leather seats so hard you think he might rip a chunk out.

He pumps into you repeatedly, draining himself in the warm embrace of your velvety walls. You can feel the thick white ropes filling you up as the sweaty skin of his abdomen rubs against your back.

His hips spasm as he finishes. He rests on top of you for a moment afterwards, panting to catch his breath. He kisses your neck gently and then moves to your ear.

“My beautiful, perfect girl,” he whispers, “So good for me, baby, like always.”

He gets off of you so you can sit up. Once you do, he gently holds your jaw and wipes away any leftover tears and saliva on your face. He leans in and gives you a soft kiss.

“So pretty,” he mumbles against your lips.

The two of you dress in the backseat, pulling your clothes on haphazardly so you can actually go home. This time you get out of the backseat through the door and hop back in the passenger seat. You laugh when you see Leon stretching outside of the driver's door.

“You ok there, buddy?” you tease when he gets back in.

He smiles, raises his eyebrows, and starts the car up.

“I’m buddy now? Are you over Daddy?” he says, “This is the thanks I get for working hard to please you.”

“Thank you Daddy,” you say overly-sweet, leaning over to kiss his cheek as he pulls back onto the road.

“You wanna play around, but I’m not the one who was crying that ten minutes ago when she thought she wouldn’t get any dick,” he laughs.

“Oh, shut up, Leon!” you say and roll your eyes.

“It’s Leon right now, but I bet you when we’re home in five minutes, I’ll have you begging for Daddy again,” he says and smirks.

You smile and look away, knowing that he’s totally right.

[stupidlittlespirit]

First Kiss

Rating: SFW, fluff Type: Drabble Tags: first kisses, alcohol, making out, no use of pronouns for reader, reader is wearing a skirt, slight Serizawa x reader, vague mention of vomit (nothing overtly descriptive), jealousy Word count: 4363 My other works: here on tumblr and here on Ao3! Reigen gets drunk, jealous and kissed.

(This has been in my drafts since January and I figured you guys might like it :) )

Staff parties are just the worst. 

Well, they're the best, but for all the wrong reasons: They’re noisy and messy, and you get an excuse to spend time with handsome men under the guise of simply being colleagues.

You're exceptionally drunk, perched beside your team in a rowdy bar as you watch them misbehave.

Serizawa is flushed a happy pink, tipsy but still managing to keep himself together. Dimple, possessing his favoured security guard for the night, is plastered against Serizawa's side. Reigen, however, is much worse for wear. He's slumped over the table as Serizawa is speaking, eyes half-lidded and likely not paying attention. 

Wait. Serizawa is speaking. 

"-maybe that's why? I guess I just never tried..." He’s saying, a little forlorn but soft as always.

You shake your head and shuffle up in your seat, leaning over to nudge Reigen.  "What's he talking about?" You hiss, hoping you don't make it obvious. 

Reigen shrugs sloppily, his shoulder bumping yours as he lurches. "Dunno." 

"Dimple said Mob was talking about first kisses this morning," Says Serizawa, shifting in his seat to address you directly. He doesn’t look upset at your poor listening skills, more amused.

Clearly you weren't being subtle enough. 

"Then he asked if I'd had one, and I haven't. I’d like to, though.” He shrugs. “Maybe one day.”

Now that you're caught up, you gape at Serizawa. 

"So you've never been kissed?" You ask, leaning forward. "Like, at all?" 

He shakes his head but doesn't look bothered at all. It's more like he's stating a fact, but it makes you feel a little bad for him. 

Reigen laughs uproariously. "Never been kissed?!" He claps Serizawa on his shoulder from across the table. "That's gotta suck!" 

"I guess you can relate." Dimple smirks from behind the lip of his beer bottle. 

Reigen almost inhales his cocktail through his nose and you have to beat his back to stop him from choking to death. 

"N-not at all!" He cries, desperately waving his hands around. "I've kissed plenty of people in my life-" 

"I'll kiss you." You cut in, making Reigen choke again. “If you want one, that is.”

Serizawa turns even pinker and he looks over at you shyly. "R-right now?" He squeaks. “Here?”

"Sure." You shrug.

It feels bad knowing Serizawa has never experienced the joys of kissing someone, and you want to offer the chance in a comfortable setting. 

Serizawa looks excited and adorably bashful when he nods in agreement.

You’re a little surprised he’s bold enough to take you up on the offer, but you suppose with a few drinks in him, he’s braver than he might usually be in a social setting. 

Untangling yourself from your seat, you swap sides at the table to sit next to him, bumping Dimple with your hip until he acquiesces and moves to your seat.

Meanwhile, Reigen makes his grievances known. 

"This is so unprofessional-" He starts, brows furrowing.

"Yeah? What do you know about being a professional?" Dimple snips back, watching you and Serizawa closely. "Let the kid learn!" 

"You would say that, pervert." Reigen slurs. “And I’m always professional.”

Ignoring their bickering, you place Serizawa's hands where they need to be; one on the side of your face, and the other on your waist, and roll your shoulders back as though you’re preparing for some strenuous exercise. A first kiss is serious business and it wouldn’t be beneficial to him to fuck it up. You want Serizawa to relax, to learn that these things aren’t as scary as they might seem, so that when he does find someone he wants to try it with again, he won’t freeze up and ruin his own chances. From what you’re seen, Serizawa is pretty skilled at that. 

Beet red and wide eyed, Serizawa’s gaze darts all over your face, from your own eyes to your mouth and back again. He’s evidently already overthinking this.

"A-are you sure you're okay with this?" Serizawa asks, voice cracking.  

You nod feverishly.

Serizawa is very handsome and very cute, so it's hardly a chore to indulge him in the art of making out. 

You lean into his palm with a warm, encouraging smile, and dip your head until your lips meet his. 

Someone at the table makes a small, high pitched noise but you're not sure if it's Serizawa or one of the others.

The kiss is simple; you don't want to frighten him by adding anything too complex, yet he's eager and surprisingly natural in his movements.

Serizawa makes a content little noise and leans into you, hand tightening on your waist to pull you closer. He tastes like cheap beer and buttery edamame, a whisper of sweetness amongst the heavy alcohol. 

Much to your pleasant surprise, his lips part after a moment and you gently tease him into a slightly deeper kiss. 

Serizawa seems to be enjoying himself and you're happy to indulge him if he wants to try something more. 

When you pull away, you drag your teeth across his lower lip gently and he smiles, hazy, chasing your mouth with his own for a moment.

Dimple lets out a low whistle from across the table and leans forward on the table, chin propped in his hands as he watches with rapt attention. 

You break apart with a soft smack! and Serizawa looks over at you like you've punched him in the nose. He's dazed and his gaze is totally unfocused, but there's a little smile on his face and it’s clear that he’s quite happy with his demonstration. 

"Okay?" You ask quietly, face still close to his. 

Serizawa nods slowly. “Uh huh….”

You grin, squeezing his shoulder as he releases you, and you stand from your stolen seat to go back to your own. 

"There you go, it isn’t that exciting, really, but now you know." You shrug. 

Dimple laughs, elbowing Reigen in the ribs as he gets up. 

"Seems pretty excited to me!" He smirks.

You give him a good-natured shove on the way past before you drop back down next to Reigen. 

Now that your focus is back on the room at large, you notice that your boss looks like he's going through all five stages of grief simultaneously; Reigen is clutching his drink tight, gaze fixed on the table top with his jaw set tightly shut. He barely acknowledges you when you sit down again, looking like he's ready to burst at the seams.

"Are you okay?" You ask, giving him a gentle nudge with your shoulder. "If you're gonna puke, you better do it outside." 

Reigen glances at you from the corner of his eye. He doesn’t look pleased at all and you feel like you might have just made a mistake.

"'M gonna go get some air." He mutters finally, sliding out of his seat.

Reigen snatches up the half-empty box of cigarettes on the table and stumbles unsteadily off his stool without another word. He doesn't even have the grace to make up an excuse before he leaves.

You watch him go, hesitant to follow him. 

“What's his problem?” Dimple says, rolling his eyes. “He’s been so stuck up lately.”

It’s true; for the past week in particular, Reigen has been in a sour mood. 

The first time it had been noticeable was the Monday morning you’d worn your first skirt of the summer to the office. It had been hot and stuffy, and you weren’t about to bother with cloying tights or trousers, however Reigen had taken one look at you and gone to work in the spare room until lunchtime. He’d made a few quiet comments about dressing professionally as a woman until Dimple had told him that he’d wear the same thing if Reigen didn’t stop bothering you about it. Since then, he’d done nothing but sulk and avoid you.  

The general chatter amongst the three of you returns, until a few minutes of his absence turn into twenty, and eventually you realise you're going to have to go and fetch him. He’s either grouchy again or he’s passed out somewhere and aspirated on his own vomit, and neither seem like a pleasant end to an otherwise fun night.

You excuse yourself and pick your way through the throngs of suits until you reach the exit at the front of the bar. 

It takes a few seconds of scanning until you spot Reigen, bathed in the flickering light of the bar’s sign. His grey suit reflects the ugly neons, marring it an odd blue-green, and he stands out against the dim street. He’s trapped behind the ropes of the smoking section nearby, halfway through his cigarette and staring off into the night sky.

Silently, you come to stand at his side. 

"How long does it take to smoke?" You laugh, hoping to ease the immediate tension he gives off. 

Reigen shrugs, running his tongue over his teeth. 

You frown at his unusual silence, slightly concerned that he can barely even bother to dein you with a simple 'hello'. 

"Have I upset you?" You ask gently. 

Reigen's eyes dart to you, though he stays facing forward, and he clears his throat. 

"No, I just…" He sighs around the filter of his cigarette, shaking his head. "It's nothing." 

To his right, there's an old looking bench that's clearly been shoved into the corner here for the drunkest smokers to sit at. It's probably to deter people from sitting on the floor when they're wasted and making the place look untidy.

You take a seat on it and gesture for him to sit beside you, running your hands over your arms to ward off the chill of the night. 

Reigen looks uncomfortable at your offer but does as he's told anyway. He keeps a distance from you and focuses on puffing out a crude smoke circle so that he doesn't have to look at you.

"Reigen, if I've done something to upset you then it's not nothing." You press him for more detail, shuffling up to sit closer. 

You don't care if he doesn't want to be near you, you're starting to panic that you might have ruined a friendship that's extraordinarily important to you.

Reigen is a great boss and an even better friend. He's smart and kind, and he's the most compassionate person you've ever met. For all of his faults, he's an incredible guy. 

It doesn't help that you're a little bit in love with him, of course. 

No one else in the office knows. You've kept it to yourself and tried to ignore it; the affection you hold for him is inappropriate after all. He's your boss and if you were to confess, he'd only reject you on those grounds. You'd end up losing your job and your friends, and you can't stand the thought of that happening. It's better to just ignore it and admire him from afar.

At your side, Reigen sighs quietly and takes a long drag on his cigarette. He holds his breath for a moment and you can see the cogs in his mind turn as he weighs up if it's worth telling you. After a pause, he breathes out a long puff of smoke and flicks the ash from the end of it. The cherry glows red in the darkness.

"I'veneverbeenkissedeither." Reigen mumbles, ducking his head.

It comes out as a long string of words, barely understandable, and you frown. 

"Huh?" 

Reigen groans. His shoulders rise up around his ears and you realise that he's embarrassed about whatever he's trying to say. 

"I've never been kissed either." He repeats through gritted teeth, eyes fixed on the distance.

"Oh." You breathe.

Oh. 

He's not angry, he's jealous.

“But you said-”

“I lied.” He huffs. “Obviously.” 

Reigen looks mortified the moment he admits it aloud, his cheeks turning pinker than they had been inside. He sucks in a sharp breath and cringes away from you, humiliated.

"I'm sorry," he cringes. "That was dumb- I shouldn't have said anything, I was just-" 

"You're kidding, right?" You say, unable to keep the disbelief from your voice. 

Reigen rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, hanging his head as though he's ashamed by it. "No." He mutters.

You're genuinely a bit surprised. "Oh, I just figured…." 

"Figured what?" Reigen says, a little bitter. "That people would actually like me?" 

The way he says it makes your heart bleed. 

Reigen is quite the charmer. You had assumed he'd be very popular in terms of romantic partners. Sure, he's a little caustic at times but ultimately he's a good guy and had you been strangers, you certainly would have tried your luck with him. There's no reason that you can think of that anyone would turn him down, unless he’s the one getting in his own way.

"Reigen, don't be ridiculous." You laugh softly, leaning into his side. "Of course people like you. I like you! You're funny and sweet, and handsome and nice. Anyone would be lucky to have you." 

Immediately Reigen's head shoots up and he turns to look at you, face slack with surprise.

"You think I'm handsome?" He asks, his cigarette limp and bobbing about between his lips as he speaks.

Fuck.

The drink has made you slip up. It's probably not normal to tell your boss you think he's the best thing since sliced bread and you feel a heat crawl up your throat.  Now really isn't the time. You're both wasted in a public place, far from home and with other people, it's not an ideal place to confess to your boss how much you desperately want him. 

"Reigen, listen," you say, attempting to laugh off the accidental admission. "You're a catch!" 

You offer him a weak smile and tug on his tie gently. It's supposed to be annoying, but drunk as he is, Reigen leans into you instead. 

"I am?" He says faintly.

The warmth spreads from your neck to your cheeks and you're abruptly aware of how close his face is to yours. The cigarette's smoke wafts up between you both.

"Yeah." You shrug, attempting to sound nonchalant. "Of course." 

Reigen's dark eyes search yours for a moment, like he's waiting for you to say something else.

When all you do is offer him a tight smile, afraid that you've fucked up, he wrinkles his nose in annoyance. 

"Oh," Reigen says petulantly, smoke streaming from his nostrils. "So sweet little Serizawa gets a demonstration but I don't?" 

You struggle to keep the surprise from your expression. After his avoidance for the past week, whatever you expected him to say, it wasn’t that. 

You figure he must be annoyed at missing out.  

A moment of silence passes and then you tilt your head. "Do you.... Want a demonstration?" You ask curiously. 

Reigen glances away for a second, blatantly imagining the scenario in his mind. His eyebrows raise at whatever he's considering.

"I mean…. I might….?" He says finally, meeting your gaze again. 

There's a slightly hopeful look in his eyes and despite your shock at his interest, you bite down on an excited smile and shift on the bench to straddle the wood, facing him properly. 

His ability to charm you even at his most useless is quite something, you think, and you reach into the space between you both and pluck the dwindling cigarette from his lips.

Reigen makes a soft noise of interest and watches you stub it out in the ashtray. 

"Face me." You instruct him, gesturing with a finger to show him where you want him. 

Reigen does as he's told, a slave to your command in his drunken stupor, and swivels in his seat until his knees bump yours. He's so close that you can feel his body heat through your clothes and it makes you want to crawl inside his suit and stay there forever. 

"Put your hands on my waist." 

Reigen nods, swallowing thickly. "Yes ma'am." 

Something hot curls up inside you at his address. You hadn't ever imagined he might be the type to enjoy being bossed around, but you're very happy to work with it.

His warm hands take up your waist and once he's settled, you take a hold of his tie again and slowly ease him down, lower and lower, until you're half an inch from his face.

Reigen's breath smells like the sugary cocktails he's been knocking back all night and fresh cigarette smoke; you'd usually balk at such a scent, but something about it is distinctly.... Him. 

After months of yearning from afar, months of silent longing, you finally kiss him. 

Reigen's eyes flutter shut as your lips connect.  The tip of his nose is cold as it brushes your cheekbone, but his lips are warm and welcoming, and they part just enough for you to taste him.

Reigen gives a soft groan and leans forward a little more, pressing up as close as he can manage without dragging you into his lap. His hands tighten on your waist and he exhales through his nose, shaky and slow.

The kiss lasts for barely a few seconds. 

It's intended to be short and sweet, and then Reigen is dragging you closer again, chasing your mouth as Serizawa had barely an hour before, yet with far more need. His desperation to keep going is oddly attractive. 

This time, you risk the chance of overwhelming your subject. 

Reigen wants more and you're perfectly willing to give it to him. 

You lap at the seam of his lips until he parts them, slowly pressing your tongue to his. Reigen is clumsy and inexperienced, not as naturally graceful as Serizawa, but you do your best to guide him through, turning your head to accommodate him and deepening the kiss whilst he sighs and keens into your touch. 

One of his hands comes up from your waist to hold the side of your face, his thumb running along your cheekbone, while his other finds your thigh. 

Reigen works his fingers along the hem of your skirt until they just slip underneath the edge of the fabric, kneading the flesh there absentmindedly as he lets himself fall into you more.

You’re so caught up in the moment, all too happy to let him continue, that when the bar door swings open with a loud bang you almost jump out of your skin. It's an immediate reminder that you're still in public and the interruption is enough to make you pull away before things become even more heated.

Sitting back and attempting to catch your breath, you quickly glance over Reigen’s shoulder to check that no other patrons have caught the two of you in a compromising situation. Whoever it is doesn't seem to be interested in your activities, too busy clamouring with their friend about taxis and food as they leave.

When you turn back, Reigen looks like he's going to pass out; he's bright red but completely pale at the same time, breathing heavily and staring right through you.

Alarmed, you sit up straighter. "Are you-?" 

"I'm gonna be sick." Reigen chokes out, scrambling up from his seat like a fawn on ice.

You flinch away as he rushes to a bin on the far side of the smoking area. He barely makes it in time to vomit up whatever overpriced drinks he's had tonight, hunched over the top of the can as he coughs and splutters.

Gross as it is, you feel a bit bad for him. His hands are shaking where they clutch the edge of the bin and you go to his side, rubbing circles on his back while he gags. You smooth his hair back from his sweaty forehead and reach over to lift his tie and stop it from dangling into the unpleasant stream until he's done throwing up for all he’s worth. 

"Fuck." He gasps into the trash can, breathless and humiliated. "Fuck. I'm so sorry." 

After a few more minutes of retching, Reigen manages to choke out another weak apology and straightens up, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. He looks terrible; his hair is ruffled and his eyes are glazed, and you hate how sorry you feel for him. It’s horribly gross and if it was anyone else you’d have left them to suffer alone. Yet your empathy for Reigen seems to know no bounds. 

"Don't mention it." You say with a smile, smoothing his hair back. "Do you feel better, at least?" 

Reigen nods a little, sorry for himself. 

"That'll teach you for drinking on an empty stomach." You tease. "Make sure you remember that the sick part was your fault." 

Reigen flushes again and ducks his head, bashful. His colour is slowly returning and he looks less nauseated than he had.

A beat of awkward silence passes, filled only by the general chatter of the patrons leaving the bar behind you both, and Reigen clears his throat.

“Listen” he sighs, toeing the concrete with the edge of his shoe. “I’m sorry about just walking out earlier.”

You tilt your head a little, waiting for him to elaborate. 

"I didn't mean to get weird about it." He admits, still unable to meet your eyes. "I just…. The kiss…. I wanted it to be me, y’know?”

“What?” You say with a tiny, disbelieving laugh. “You’ve been ignoring me all week, I thought you hated me! I mean, for a second there, I thought you were gonna fire me for-”

“Fire you?!” Reigen says, a little too loudly. “Fuck, no! Never!”

“Then why have you been avoiding m-?”

"Because you're so pretty!" he interrupts, like it pains and infuriates him. "Ever since you started working here, I've barely been able to stop myself from-”

Reigen cuts himself off with a growl of frustration.

“Not to mention that stupid outfit, wearing it in the office like you didn’t know what you were doing! You're so- It's so- Fuck." Reigen takes a deep breath and then plows on, using his opportunity to spill his guts in a much more metaphorical way this time. 

"I had to avoid you last week, you keep wearing that little fucking skirt and it’s driving me nuts!" He groans. "I don't hate you, I just can't stop thinking about what you'd look like with it 'round your ankles." 

Your knees feel weak at his admission.

"Yeah?" You breathe, biting down on your lip. 

"Yeah!" Reigen says, visibly distressed and breathing hard. "And I know I'm your boss, and I know that's weird, and I really, really don’t want to get sued for harassment but I-!" 

“Reigen!” 

He’s working himself up and the last thing you want is for him to throw up again, so you clamp your hands on his face until he stops sucking in air like a dying fish and shuts up. 

“Take a breath.” You say, laughing.

Reigen swallows thickly and breathes in, then out. 

“I assumed you just wanted a kiss because you were jealous he got one.” With his face still between your hands, you nod back towards the building in reference to Serizawa, and Reigen shrugs. 

“I mean, yeah, that too.” He mutters, pouting a bit. 

You can’t hold back the surprised laughter that spills from your throat. This entire time you had  assumed he had absolutely no interest in you at all beyond being friends. You thought yourself alone in your longing, lonely in the assumption and upset by the notion that he’d rather move somewhere else than tolerate your presence. The avoidance, the grouchiness, the comments; none of it suggested to you that he felt any other way. 

You can’t quite believe your luck.

Reigen must misconstrue your silence for rejection because he starts to back off, reaching up to extricate himself from your grip, and you’re forced to clamp your hands down around his face to keep him still. 

“Why didn’t you bring it up?” You ask, ignoring the confused look on his face.

“What was I gonna say; ‘Look, I know I’m your superior but I think you’re really hot and kind and sweet, you wanna get dinner sometime’?.” He scoffs, as though it’s a ridiculous notion. 

“Reigen,” You grin. “I’d love to. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” 

Reigen’s brows disappear under his fringe and his mouth opens and closes as he flounders for something to say, stunned at your response. 

“What?” He manages to choke out.

“I would love to get dinner with you.” You giggle. 

Reigen breathes a laugh, the biggest grin you’ve ever seen splitting his face in half, and he nods quickly. “You would? I can do that. Anywhere you want.” 

You join him in relieved laughter and loop your arms around his neck, tugging him closer until your bodies are pressed flush together. It feels so good to have him close like this. 

Reigen wraps his arms around your waist in response, his big hands wandering from your sides to the small of your back. 

“And if it helps,” You smirk, tugging gently on the back of his hair. “I’d also love for you to see me with my skirt around my ankles….”

Reigen groans softly. His eyes fall shut for a moment and when he opens them again, something hot lurks in his gaze.

“Oh yeah?” He murmurs, looking down to your mouth.

You can tell he wants to turn this into a new game and as much as you’d like to indulge him,  you’re acutely aware that only moments ago he was puking into a public bin. 

“If you’re waiting for another kiss,” you smirk, biting your lower lip. “You better go brush your teeth.”

Reigen releases you so quickly that you almost fall over with a yelp. He swiftly ducks under the rope that seals off the smoking area and starts to jog towards the lit up rows of shops down the street. 

“Stay here!” He yells over his shoulder. “The konbini doesn’t shut ‘til one! I’ll be right back!”

“Where are you going?!” You shout after his retreating form.

“Toothpaste!” Reigen says, turning around to throw you a wink. 

You can do nothing except laugh as you watch him leg it towards the closest convenience store.

[eris-snow]

Hi I was thinking if you could do aizawa having a sibling or daughter. Like a younger sister or daughter who he teaches and do some type of angst with them. Like him not paying much attention to her or she’s caught doing something (like smoking,drugs). Something like that. Thank you ❤️

I’m not comfortable writing any mentions about underage smoking or drinking (cause I assume that she's still in high school when this scene occurs) but I’ll try to make it up by making y/n kind of ‘bad girl’ ish!

I don't condone underage smoking or underage drinking. Please take care of your body :D

Note for the requester below!

Tags: daughter!yn, Aizawa, angst

“So, mind explaining what that was?” Aizawa asks, sighing as he pinches the bridge of his nose as he closes his room door in the dorms of Class A.

You think it's ironic because, even as his daughter, you’ve only seen this place once.

Your arms are littered with scars, a nasty bruise already forming on your cheek at where you’ve been punched. It throbs, sure, but it's nothing compared to your father's words.

No, his words are a knife to the chest. They’d make your heart bleed so much more than any quirk every could.

“Don’t want to,” You grouse, shrugging of your school bag. It lands on the ground with a loud thud as you try to reach for the door handle. A hand shoots out to grab yours firmly, making you freeze in your spot.

“May be I should have rephrased my statement,” Your father growls. “Tell me what happened, Y/n.”

His grip is controlled, gentle but firm in a way that makes you want to scoff. So he only cares now, when you kick up a fuss.

How flippant.

And yet, a small part of your mind still cowers at Aizawa’s anger. Your father’s icy wrath can be as cold as a snowstorm or as explosive as Bakugou, and you’re already anticipating and analyzing different ways you could mould yourself back into the person he wants you to be.

Pathetic.

“Nothing happened,” You mutter, not daring to move. “All I did was lose control a little, that’s all—”

“You picked a fight with my student, Y/n!” Aizawa raised his voice, causing tears to prickle your eyes. “Bakugou’s a ticking time bomb that blows up every 10 minutes. You know that, and you still did it! If it weren’t for Midoriya’s quick thinking to get me, you could have been seriously hurt!”

And that’s when it snaps.

“Your s-stu—” You break off, jerking your hand away from his. Your father’s eyes narrow, about to snap again— “Your daughter lost control of her quirk, Dad! Your daughter! Why is it you still care about your own goddamn students over me?”

Aizawa’s eyes widen, fury snuffing out. “Y/n—”

“NO!” You yell, shaking with emotion. “I’ve listened and watched for my whole fucking life. It’s my turn.”

Aizawa opens his mouth, but the minute tears spill from your eyes and a sob escapes your mouth, he presses his lips into a tight line.

“Your students have always been the priority. Ever since day one, you’d throw yourself in front of a villain crime lord to save them when I didn’t know if you’d even spend my birthday with me each year.” You bite your lip, trembling as the word vomit finally spews from your lips. You can’t stop it, and it just keeps coming and coming because now that the lid is off, the words bubble over like a volcano.

“Do you know what everyone in Class B says?” You grit your teeth, clenching your dirt-ridden shirt with your fingernails digging into your skin. The tears burn hot like magma, and you can’t stop yourself from choking the next few lines out. “They’ve labelled you the second father of Class A, Dad! Did you know that?”

A bitter laugh wrenches itself out of your lips, and you’re pretty sure your skin is bleeding at how tightly you’re clenching your shirt. “Am I not your daughter, Dad? Am I not important now that Mum’s gone?”

“I loved your mother—”

“But do you love me?” you sob out.

The question causes Aizawa’s heart to plummet faster than a ten-pound bowling ball. Your voice is so small, so uncertain, and it makes Aizawa’s heartache. Do you-do you seriously think that? That he didn’t love you?

His hesitation was a fatal mistake, because for the first time in a long while, you look up to him with defiance in your eyes. You’d always been a good child, Aizawa had taught you well, after all. But this? Your eyes were hard, stone cold, and it makes Aizawa stop short.

“That’s what I thought.” You curl into yourself with a small choke, hands finding the door handle before you glance back at him with a teary, broken gaze. “Go check on your precious Bakugou. They seem to need you way more than I do.”

The door slams and knocks down the picture frame hanging on his door, shattered glass fragmenting with a loud, high-pitched crash.

On it, is a photo of you and him on Father’s Day.

To be honest, he has already forgotten how long ago it was taken.

--

Note to the requester: I'm so sorry it's so late! I was debating if I should make it a happy ending and ultimately decided to go with this so it wasn't forced. Sorry if it wasn't exactly what you asked for, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Thank you for requesting! 💛

[amethystina]

Fanfic Tag Thingie

I am choosing to be tagged by @miss-ingno because this sounded like fun and I need an escape from the realisation that I am literally on the edge of burnout and my life is a mess. So here we go! :D

How many works do you have on AO3?

76

What's your total AO3 word count?

2 237 636

... and I have around 200k more just sitting in my WIP folders. I can't write short things x'D

What fandoms do you write for?

Right now it's mainly various Kdramas (The Devil Judge, Black Knight, plus my bold venture into Strangers From Hell) but, before that, it was mostly The Losers, Marvel, Pacific Rim, and Teen Wolf. With the occasional detour here and there.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Who Holds the Devil (The Devil Judge, Gahan) at 3 390

Tech Support (MCU, Winteriron) at 3 217

Autonomy (MCU, Winteriron) at 3 137

I Won't Hold My Breath (MCU, Winteriron) at 2 914

Conflict of Interest (MCU, Winteriron) at 2 173

It's honestly a little wild to me that Who Holds the Devil has somehow managed to race to the top despite the other fics being at least four years older (sometimes more). And for a much bigger fandom, at that. You guys are not fucking around.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Every single one if I can, though it can sometimes take a while before I get to all of them. And I just can't help it, I guess? Partly because I want to show that I've read the comment and appreciate the time and effort that went into writing it, but also because it often gives me an opportunity to talk about my writing and the choices I made in the fic.

And, apparently, the fact that I reply to all comments has become a bit of a thing at least when it comes to Who Holds the Devil, where readers will search through my replies looking for tidbits and extra information about the fic, characters etc.

(you guys are so weird and so dedicated and I love all of you xD)

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Grief (The Losers (Comics)). Because it is, predictably, about grief and how to keep living after someone you love has died. Though I would argue that the ending has a hint of hopefulness to it since it's also about moving on from said grief?

But yeah. Definitely that one since it's Major Character Death that I choose not to fix.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Literally every single fic except for the one above xD I LOVE my happy endings, okay? And it's kind of difficult to rank them since it depends a lot on the setting, characters, and the personal preference of the reader.

Heck, I even managed to give my Strangers From Hell fanfic a sugary sweet happy ending! That's dedication right there!

Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah, from time to time. I've gotten everything from childish insults calling me a bad writer to backhanded comments questioning my choices, writing style, grammar, spelling, dedication, intelligence, etc. I've even received more targeted, personal hate where people I thought I could trust were making fun of me behind my back in private chat rooms.

Most recently, though, it's less hate and more the "I simply must tell you that you're not writing this fic as I want you to write it" type of deal. Often paired with "It's my personal opinion and I have every right to express it." Which, fair enough. But that means I get to do the same, which I've noticed is something those kinds of commenters kind of hate. Especially when I point out that they've now made me a lot less keen to write the fanfic they're supposedly so fond of.

Turns out people don't like being reminded that their actions have consequences.

All in all, though, I've learned to just delete the comments I find too offensive or hateful.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh god no. Sex scenes are the bane of my existence and I spend the entire time writing them looking like this: ლ(ಥ益ಥლ)

I've been told I'm not bad at writing them (the ones in Until Death Do Us Unite were quite appreciated) but anything involving sex or sexual tension is just a nightmare for me. Even more so when it's supposed to be kinky or extra spicy.

So why is one of the main ships I write for right now clearly a Dom/sub ship, you ask?

Because I'm an idiot. That's why.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you've written?

I rarely do. The only crossover I've written is Resurrection where Derek Hale ends up in Purgatory together with Dean Winchester and they fight their way back to the world of the living (so Derek replaces Benny, basically).

I also have this one random fic (yet unposted) where Tony Stark and Eddie Brock are a couple (from the MCU and Venom movies, that is). But they're technically both in the Marvel universe so I'm not sure if that counts?

Long story short, crossovers aren't really my thing. I rarely write or read them.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, no.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Several, in fact, from various fandoms. Mostly into Russian, Spanish, or Mandarin. And I am honestly so flattered every time someone asks me if they can translate one of my fics 💜

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, no. I made plans to write a fic with a friend once, but we never got to the point of actually writing it. And, in all honesty, I think that might be just as well. I'm a perfectionist and writing a fic with me would probably be very exhausting for the other party xD

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I really don't know. Like, I'm tempted to say Jensen and Cougar from The Losers, or maybe Destiel or Stony, but I think that's partly founded in comfort and nostalgia. My ships change as I do and I really can't pinpoint an all-time favourite.

But CURRENT favourite? Definitely Kang Yo Han and Kim Ga On because they present such a wonderful challenge to someone like me, who loves to go real deep into character motivations, behaviour etc. They're a delight.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm not sure. I plan to finish all the ones I've started posting but there might be some in my folders that I'll decide to abandon if I truly can't revive my interest in them. But, usually, I can.

And, speaking of that, to all my MCU peeps (if there are any of you still out there): I know you've waited six years for the Tech Support sequel but it's finally been written and just needs to be edited. It's coming, my darlings. I promise.

Basically, when I say I'll do something, I will do it — even if it takes me six goddamn years, apparently x'D

What are your writing strengths?

Characters, tone, and emotions. I'm good at capturing the essence of the characters and write them in a way that feels believable and close to canon. I'm also really good at making people feel things with my writing, I've been told. According to testimonials, my readers can often see what's happening play out inside their heads like a movie, and feel the characters' emotions as they're living through them.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Aside from the aforementioned sex scenes? I think it's my inability to keep things short. I use a lot of unnecessary words and could definitely get better at being more concise. In a similar vein, I sometimes focus so much on the details with lengthy, wordy descriptions that I accidentally forget about the big picture, which is understandably confusing to my readers.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done it from time to time (since my man Cougar speaks Spanish) but I'm pretty careful with it. And if it's longer sentences I always make sure to double-check with a native speaker.

First fandom you wrote for?

Teen Wolf! Which, admittedly, was because I didn't care if I fucked it up x'D I enjoyed the first two seasons of Teen Wolf, make no mistake! But I chose it mainly because it wasn't the ship I was the most emotionally invested in and so I figured it wouldn't feel as bad if it turned out that I sucked. Luckily enough for me, I didn't xD

Favourite fic you've written?

Just like with the all-time favourite ship, I'm not sure if I can answer this one. Because I like all of my fics but in different ways.

I'll always have a fondness for that first huge Teen Wolf series I wrote, for example, and had a lot of fun with Autonomy because of the world-building. Same goes with Hyperborean. But Who Holds the Devil is definitely my favourite when it comes to character work. While Allies is my favourite when it comes to tone, since it ended up just the way I wanted it to. And Until Death Do Us Unite was an absolute BLAST because I got to write horror and some really weirdass shit, which I've never done before.

So, truly, I can't say. Each one I've written has something I cherish and while some definitely stand out more than others, I wouldn't be able to just pick one.

___

And that's that! I tag whoever wants to do it! :D

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 12 – OTHER MARVEL SHIPS

SAM/BUCKY

just won't do right by glittercake

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: G Words: 7,521 Tags: Jealous Bucky, Idiots in Love, Oblivious Sam

Summary: Sam's eyebrows go up, impressed, and he reaches over to squeeze Torres' shoulder, "This is amazing, kid. Thanks, really." Bucky sits and watches in utter horror as the pink darkens on Torres' cheeks. Oh, he realizes. Oh. Fuck.

Reasons why I love it: Jealous Bucky is just the best. And I love Torres, so having him be the catalyst for some good old Sam-Bucky angsting is fantastic. Sarah is amazing in this too, I love all of their characterizations honestly. This fic is super sweet, and if you haven't already, I hope you check it out for yourself!

Subtlety Not Our Strong Point by copperbadge

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: T Words: 2,944 Tags: Alternate Universe, Engagement, Brunch

Summary: Bucky is not good at proposing, but once he managed, he and Sam were going to let people find out organically. Unfortunately, Tony Stark has never done anything organically in his life.

Reasons why I love it: Whelp, say what you want, but you can't deny it – Bucky's way has its merits. I love this one, Sam and Bucky are so in love, and Tony crashing their plans without even meaning to is fucking hilarious. This fic is really sweet, and I hope you go and check it out for yourself!

show me if you want me (and i will be your friend) by notcaycepollard

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: E Words: 3,027 Tags: Casual Sex, Friends With Benefits, Porn With Feelings

Summary: Bucky's gotta give it to the future for this: they've turned casual sex into a goddamn art. What is a friend with benefits, he types into Google, and spends the next two hours reading about the distinctions between booty calls and friends with benefits and fuck buddies. It’s extremely informative. He’s gonna put it to good use, like, pretty much immediately.

Reasons why I love it: Jesus Christ, this fic is so hot, holy shit. And just as the cherry on top, there are feelings all over it, good, mushy feelings, fuck yes. I love how Bucky ambushes Sam in the beginning and how Sam just goes with it. It's so fun and so sweet and oh my god, you need to read this if you haven't, it's so good!

three words that became hard to say by suzukiblu

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: G Words: 1,924 Tags: Male Friendship, Fluff, Bucky Needs a Hug

Summary: “I wanna step out with Wilson,” Bucky says, audibly traumatized. Steve blinks again, and lowers the shield. “Uh,” he says. “Come again?”

Reasons why I love it: Their voices in this are so perfect, that old-timey forties Brooklyn drawl. I love Steve and Bucky's friendship here, and Steve's need to protect Bucky and keep him happy always is so heartwarming. Plus, Bucky's crush on Sam is the cutest thing ever. I love this fic to bits, and I bet you will too!

what i like about you baby (is how you annoy me daily) by notcaycepollard

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: M Words: 8,951 Tags: Post-Civil War, Bickering, Roommates

Summary: “I’m not sharing my room,” Sam mutters, knowing as he says it that it sounds exactly like he’s a fucking ten year old facing a new sibling. Steve hastily makes what Sam thinks is supposed to be an understanding face. “Of course not,” he says soothingly. “He can bunk in with me, it’s not like we haven’t done it before. It's a twin room, anyway, there's already a spare bed.” Sam guesses a bigger house is out of the question. Whatever; the three of them have spent eight hours crammed in a Mini, it can’t be that bad. It’s not that bad. It’s worse.

Reasons why I love it: Sam and Bucky being asshole roommates while Steve despairs at them from the sidelines is something I never knew I needed. This fic is so fucking good, funny and heartfelt and adorable in turns, with fantastic dialogue and characterization. I love it so much, and I hope you go and read it for yourself, because it's amazing!

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY

The self care edition

thank you for tagging me @creepkinginc @jrooc @lingy910y and @energievie

Name: gigi

Age: 24

What kind of day is it? i wish everyone reading this could have sat in my last design presentation this evening. it was such a bizarre combination of frustrating and horrible and absurdly hilarious we were all laughing hysterically once we saw those clients were on the elevator - pouring a big girl glass of wine as i type this

When was the last time you ate? like 10 hours ago, but I never eat lunch and dinner is in the oven at the moment

About how many hours of sleep did you get? 5 💀

Name one thing you could do to make your day better right now: text bomb all my friends in my field about my horrible meeting

Why are you not doing that thing? believe me yall, I am

What are you going to do tonight to relax? hanging out on tumblr right now, after dinner I usually write but im having a little writers block atm, so ill patiently work on my comic project and watch tele until it passes

What comfort food do you not eat often enough? Poke

What’s stopping you? its so far away :'(

Have you ever had a professional massage? no but I've really been thinking about it, but i dont like the dentist or hairdressers so I dont think i would like it, luckily my partner gives very good massages

Have you eaten fruits and vegetables today? you know it! I had lychee and bananas with breakfast and im having a salad with dinner

How much water have you had today? many glasses, im always sippin

Is there a self-care gadget you really want to buy? nothing comes to mind but ill put all of you onto something - buy an ergonomic mouse if you spend a lot of time on the computer, my hand was going numb by the end of thesis and this thing changed my life

this is the one i got, its a little pricey and im sure theres cheaper ones but seriously, changed my life

What is your favourite healthy snack?

stovetop popcorn poped in sesame oil and finished with furikake - thank me later

What is your favourite unhealthy snack? jalapeño chips

What is one thing you are going to start doing RIGHT NOW to take better care of yourself? quit my job and move to another city for my quarter life crisis idk yoga?

And to close, I want you to say one NICE thing to yourself that you really need to hear right now: i absolutely adore you! youre amazing! incredible! keep up the good work! fuck that lady with the ugly hair who shit all over your work *eye twitch*

how do you self care? @sweetbee78 @ian-galagher @mybrainismelted @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @juliakayyy @howlinchickhowl @bawlbrayker @mickeysgaymom @stocious

[zutaralesbian]

Tagged by the lovely @callivich to answer these Gallavich questions! Thank you, they were fun 😊

1. What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

You Can Bite Me by Shamelessquestions. I love the vampire trope so having arguably the most iconic author for the Gallavich fandom write something for it was a dream come true. And it did not disappoint.

2. What’s a gifset you always have to reblog?

I can’t really think of a specific gifset but pretty much anything that involves paralleling Gallavich’s first ever scene with one of them getting married or engaged is my shit. It’s the journey.

3. What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

A headcanon that is my Truth and that I always stick to is that the first time Ian told Mickey he loved him was in 4x11 after Mickey came out.

4. What’s a fanart you love looking at?

This one ❤️

5. What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

I have a thousand different fic ideas running through my head at all times 😭 But one that’s been lingering in my head lately in particular is a canon divergence where Mickey completes his time in prison after S6 but doesn’t try to contact Ian after he’s released. Years later, they run into each other in a different city when they’re both in their early thirties and married to other people. They decide to catch up and try being friends. However, they quickly realize that the romantic feelings never fully went away and things spiral into them having an affair with each other. It’d be a super messy fic but would capitalize on the aspect of them being magnetic soulmates who ultimately can’t stay away from each other no matter the circumstances.

6. What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

Hmmm…tbh I can’t really think of anything in particular for this question

7. What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

I’ve said this before, but Gallavich is one of those ships that I feel like can fit into a large pool of AU’s. That being said, I would personally like to read more enemies to lovers and/or rivals to lovers. I kinda get why it’s a little rare since in canon, Ian/Mickey definitely are a friends with benefits to lovers type trope. But I can’t help it…I love reading fics where two characters fucking hate each other before falling in love lol

8. What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

S4. And it’s pretty much been that way since the first time I watched the show. Mickey is my fave so I’m definitely biased considering it was arguably his best season.

9. What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

I would have liked to have gotten to know more about Mickey and Mandy’s mother. I guess in a way it is kind of fun that the fandom can have their own headcanons about her. I kind of have a headcanon that Mickey and Mandy have a different biological mother than the rest of the Milkovich siblings because they look alike but both look different from Terry.

10. What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

This is another hard one because I personally feel that the fandom does a pretty good job of discussing and analyzing all of Ian and Mickey’s important scenes. I guess maybe the “you’re just a warm mouth to me” scene in S2. It gets overshadowed as far as angsty scenes go considering everything Ian/Mickey go through in their relationship later. But I feel like it was their first big heartbreak with each other.

11. What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

"When you meet the right person, you know it. You can't stop thinking about them. They are your best friend and your soulmate. You can't wait to spend the rest of your life with them. No one and nothing else can compare." (From How I Met Your Mother)

12. What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

I think they stay in their westside apartment for a little while but ultimately do decide to move out when their lease is up. They end up getting a decent place back in the south side, after both of them admit they miss it. Ian brings up the idea of them having kids from time to time but the idea still makes Mickey nervous. They compromise by deciding to try out being pet owners first and get a cat and a dog. (The cat being a stray they find on the streets and the dog adopted from a shelter). They run their security business for a while but eventually Mickey does encourage Ian to try something new, knowing his husband has a hero complex and might not be fully satisfied with a career that doesn’t involve him helping people. What that is, I’m not entirely sure. I’d like to see him go back into the medical field but I don’t know how feasible that is with him being a felon. But hey, it’s also the Shameless universe so anything is possible.

Tagging: @whaticameherefor @milkymickeyway @such-a-barbarian @auds-and-evens

I feel like most of my Shameless moots were tagged in the og post but if I happened to miss anyone feel free take this as a tag!

[dummerjan]

Question Tag Game Thingy

I was tagged by @die-schwanenkoenigin - thank you for always tagging me. Current book I’m reading: Technically Buddenbrooks by Thomas Mann, it's been the same answer for almost two years now. Very much enjoying it (though I have no clue why), but also very much not actually reading it 99% of the time. However, my laptop needs to be repaired during which I will have to make do with a desktop computer which does not go well with me spending most of my time home in bed. So I should really dedicate that time to non-digital media and make some progress with the book.

Last song I listened to: Придёт вода - Yanka Dyagileva

Currently watching: Nothing really. I finished the new hbomberguy video this morning. I got halfway through Love at the End of the World on GagaOOLala last month and I really should pick it up again before my subscription runs out.

Current fic I’m reading: Just the new chapters for fics I am subscribed to. This morning I was up way too early, so I could read the latest insert cash or select payment type chapter.

Next on my watchlist: Cherry Magic - I am so excited for Saturday!

Current obsession: No active media obsession right now. Well, I suppose we can count Jeff Satur, that fucking menace. And real life stuff, lots of exhausting, not-fun obsessing on that front. I'd much rather it be about a silly gay show though. tagging: @imminentinertia @hummingbooks @scarefox @sorry-bonebag @lady-guts @ilovetextingandscones

[lume-nosity]

new sagau brainrot after a few months woohoo!! (please bear with me i typed as i went, so it may be a little weird. note: obsessive behavior, reader death, xiao death probably)

~~~

i was listening to ‘it’s over, isn’t it?’ from steven universe and all im visualizing is xiao in pearl’s position wondering why [reader] chose zhongli as a consort over him, as xiao one of the most devoted acolytes there is.

sure zhongli was a former archon and is very much devoted as xiao is, but xiao believes he’s more deserving of your attention than he is. he’s just that type of guy. he’s done everything to please you; frequent offerings, spending time with you, all that. and yet you chose someone else over him. his heart aches thinking about it, but their word is law.

but time skip, now that the creator has fallen (you can come up with how) xiao’s sitting here like ‘what’s there left to do now that they’re gone?’ ‘they should’ve chosen me, i could’ve protected them’ ‘what’s my purpose now?’ he thinks he should be disposed of immediately as there’s no one else to follow now. especially with the issue between him and zhongli, there’s nothing left to do. he doesn’t trust zhongli after what happened to you, the creator. zhongli was your consort, and yet your life was taken. it was zhongli’s responsibility to protect you until the end of time, but he fucked up big time. xiao once looked up to zhongli, and all that respect was washed down the drain after upon hearing the news of your downfall.

so now, xiao has no one left. it’s only xiao. no one to look up to, no one to trust, and no one to love. all that’s left is for him to go down with you.

an: im thinking about writing out this idea of mine soon, because it looks too good of an idea to be scrapped. though, if you are planning to write something similar to this, please credit/tag me!! i’d love to see what you guys came up with :)

[theelast-straw]

Get To Know Me Tag

tagged by @befuddledcinnamonroll & @infinitelyprecious ty <3

Do you make your bed?

Only if visitors are coming over lol. My sleep schedule is kinda very fucked so you never know when I'm just gonna fall into bed and pass out anyway

What’s your favorite number?

I don't think I really have a favorite number? 13 maybe?

What is your job?

Uni student. Communication and media studies with a minor in musicology. Though I'm not taking any musicology classes rn and plan to change that to art-media-aesthetic education next semester

If you could go back to school, would you?

Depends. If it's the school I went to from grade 5-10? Hell no. Some of my experiences there were funny looking back but the place was kind of a hellhole. But the school I did my Abitur at? Sure, why not. It was very art and design oriented so the people there were pretty chill and I had some fun classes.

Can you parallel park?

I can't even drive lmao

A job you had that would surprise people?

Well the only job I ever really had was a minijob at a distribution center where I packed boxes for about three years. Which I'd say is a pretty basic job for a uni student so there's nothing really surprising on my resume yet

Though I guess some people might be surprised that I studied biology for a bit before switching to something more media related?

Do you think aliens are real?

That kind of depends on the definition of "aliens" here. Do I think there's life on other planets, however small it may be? Absolutely. I think it'd be more unrealistic to expect that there is not a single other planet with at least some microorganisms in the entire universe. Intelligent life though? Not sure. The universe is huge so I wouldn't count it out but if other intelligent life is out there, I don't think we'll ever find it.

Can you drive a manual car?

Again: I can't even drive haha

What’s your guilty pleasure?

I don't really have one. If I like something, I like it, nothing guilty about that. I think with the kinda hellhole school I went to, I learned pretty quickly that sometimes you just have to be yourself and the people who don't like that can just stay the hell away from you lol

Tattoos?

None. I'd love to get some but I'm kinda afraid of that commitment (and also I don't have that kinda money lmao)

Favorite color?

Black, purples, light blues & greens, pink and anything pastel, really

Favorite type of music?

Ohhh if you've seen me talk about music on here before, you likely know that most of my playlists are pretty whiplash inducing lmao. I'm not really picky about genres so I kinda just listen to anything? If I vibe with it, it goes in the playlist so sometimes you end up jumping from metal to a ballad to dubstep lol. I guess my favorite genres would be kpop, metal & rock?

My favorite band ever is BMTH, my current #1 kpop group is Ateez and my favorite singers are DPR Ian and Crywolf and I actually think that sums up my taste in music pretty well haha

Do you like puzzles?

Used to love 'em as a kid but haven't really done one in ages. I did actually consider buying one just a couple of days ago but I promised myself to keep my spending that day below 20€ and I ended up buying a book about Caspar David Friedrich instead... maybe next time haha

Any phobias?

Heights. And wasps, kind of, but I've gotten much better at dealing weith those. Heights though, I absolutely can not deal with. I guess a fear of falling is also a big part of that bc ladders are too much for me already but I'm fine on airplanes lol

Favorite childhood sport?

I was the "I'll take the bad grade for forgetting my sports clothes again if it keeps me away from any kind of ball" kinda kid so.. none haha. Unless you count Just Dance as a sport

Do you talk to yourself?

All the time

What movies do you adore?

Movies are much like music for me, I'm not really picky about genres. If it keeps me entertained I like it and I'm pretty easily entertained haha. But I'd have to say my favorite movies are The Fifth Element and Scream (the 1996 one ofc). I'm also a big fan of the Halloween movies but I don't think I really have a favorite one out of those.

Coffee or tea?

Tea all the way. I like coffee too but if I had to choose I'd pick tea every time.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

Hmm, I went through a couple of different dream jobs as a kid but the first thing I remember wanting to be was a fashion designer haha

Idk who's been tagged in this yet so... no pressure and feel free to ignore this if you've done it already lol @sparklyeyedhimbo @buddhamethods @supanuts @aylinaliens @nozunhinged @bunnakit @zoinkssc00b @lukaherehelp

[neverevan]

Weekend Wip Game ✨

I was tagged by the lovely @daffi-990 thank you mwuah 😘

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

(I cut it off halfway cuz I went long like always...)

1. WIP List:

so as you know my wip list is pretty long, but the active ones right now are:

• the mudslide fic

• the jealous eddie fic

• the breeding kink fic

• the accident fic

• the donation smut

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

the mudslide fic is currently standing at 38.6k and I expect at the very least 20k more... which wouldn't just make it my longest current wip, but also the longest fic I've ever written

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

the mudslide fic hands down, unless something drastic happens and one of my wips gets away from me (though from the inactive wips I expect two of them to be around the same length, possibly)

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

I enjoy all of them, but the mudslide fic is surprisingly joyous to write, even though it's mostly just me putting the boys through the emotional and physical wringer lmao

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

listen. I love writing the mudslide fic, but I kinda wrote myself into a hole with it, in the sense that I included a couple of real life locations (though only vaguely) that I just had to make shit up for, which is fine cuz the show does the same, but... idk it's long and the boys spend quite a large chunk of the story separate and it makes me worry that people will find it boring or just idk will be nitpicky about it... like, I have confidence in my writing, but I'm also forever insecure about it??? ugh

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

uhhh I guess the accident fic?? because it's short and it's kind of written in the way I usually write ficlets, which means I don't spiral about the details that much and now I'm worried that it's gonna seem rushed or way too out of sorts 😓

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

none of them, I'm very much a fuck it we ball type of writer

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer’s block?

yeppppp. that's why I have so many active wips atm cuz I got stuck on both of my main ones 🥲

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

the mudslide fic – and she's barely even in it, but she grew on me anyway 💛

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

I have to say the donation smut... or the breeding kink fic, whichever floats your boat I guess

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

the mudslide fic, definitely

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

I'm not sure??? like, I try my best in all of them, but I can't necessarily say if I succeeded idk

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

again, I'm probably gonna have to go with the mudslide fic

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

👆 I've been doing quite a lot of research going into legal procedures, sixth grade curriculum and body decomposition in water, just to name a few (and most of these barely feature btw 🥲), not to mention looking at the map of LA constantly to gauge distances, but it's still kinda fun though

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

uhmmm I don't have high expectations for any of them, if we're talking about like, comments and kudos and stuff... usually the fics I just write in a moment of inspiration and just throw online get more attention than the ones I try to finetune for hours/days/weeks, so you know... I try to write fics for myself and hope that there are people they resonate with 🫶

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

listen, I have really hectic and weird dreams, but I don't think I ever dreamed about any of my wips

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don’t?

well, if nothing else, operating with this many characters is something I'm not exactly used to, so the mudslide fic and the jealous eddie fic are kinda unique in that regard, I suppose

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I'm not... exactly big on writing goofy stuff, which is unfortunate because I love reading it, but I mean it a 100% when I say angst and smut is my bread and butter

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

not a very deep dive, but I do touch on a side character's background in the mudslide fic, no outside povs though

20. Tell us one thing we don’t know about one or more of your WIPs

idk?? uhh it's not an active wip, but all I could think about is that Homesick For Your Skin isn't my first parallel universe fic, but it's the first one I had to work out without magic 🪄

I'm sure most of you have already done this, but here are five no pressure tags anyway:

@forthewolves @jesuisici33 @callaplums @ladydorian05 @disasterbuckdiaz

[sparkedblaze]

PART 3 LET'S GOOOOO

*sigh*

Parts 1 and 2

@raggedy-albert tagging you bc you yelled at me ;-;

T/W cursing, talk of violence

"WHERE DOES IT SAY A GUY CAN'T CATCH A BREAK WHY SHOULD YOU ONLY TAKE WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN WHY SHOULD YOU SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE LIVIN' TRAPPED WHERE THERE AIN'T NO FUTURE EVEN AT SEVENTEEN BREAKIN' YOUR BACK FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SAKE"

THOSE LYRICS HIT SO FUCKING HARD MY DUDES

JEREMY JORDAN'S VOCALS HOLY SHIT

HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

MOVEMENTS

HIS A C T I N G

"I'll be there"

"Just be real is all I'm askin'."

"I GOT NOTHIN IF I AIN'T GOT SAAAAANTAAAAAAAAA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

That's the end of act 1. I only just finished act 1. I pause it too much to type everything out. And also I napped earlier and it felt g r e a t

Finch laying across the table

"Just ask a fish in the desert"

LES SITTING UNDER THE TABLE

"Why do old people talk?" "To prove they's still alive"

Mush's eyeroll

Squeeze Elmer's shoulder

FRONT PAGE?!

IAIN'S SMILE FUCK HIS SMILE IS SO DAMN CUTE

"WOULD YA LOOKIT THAT'S ME!"

"WHERE'S ME?! WHERE'S ME?!"

"I WON'T BE LAST IN LINE FOR THE TUB TONIIIGHT"

Tommy snatching the pape from Davey

"There's a headline even Elmer could sell"

HENRY'S LAUGH/REACTION TO ^

"JACK DON'T RUN FROM NO FIGHT"

"Take it down shortstop"

"FOR JUMPIN' JACKS SAKE CAN YOU STOW THE SERIOSITY LONG ENOUGH TO JUST DRINK IN THE MOMENT"

HIS LIL PUNCHIES

Albert's look of disgust at being touched without permission

"I'M FAYHMUS"

Henry: So?

"When ya fayhmus tha woild is ya erster."

😕 Wot?

????

"Ya erster"

"What are you saying???"

"EY YAKNOW YA FANCY CLAM WIT THA POIL INSIDE"

"O Y S T E R"

"HOW MUCH DOES BEIN' FAYHMUS P A Y?!"

"U DON'T🚫 NEED MONEY 💲 WHEN UR FAYHMUS😎 THEY GIVES YA WHATEVA YA WANT G R A T I S"

HEARING THE FIRST LIKE CHORDS (?) OF KONY IS THE BEST BC KONY IS THE BEST SONG IF YOU CAN'T TELL BY HOW LONG THIS POST ALREADY IS P MUCH ONLY WITH KONY THINGS

RACE AND KATH DOING THE PLAYFUL HIT THINGS

WHY DID THEY CHANGE RACE'S LINE?! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR ROMEO TO WANT A PERMANENT BOX AT THE SHEEPSHEAD RACES

"Oh no"

*tucks emotional support stick under arm* "knOBBin WIt AlL DA MuCKeTY MuCks I'M BLowIN MY doUGH AND gOIN dELuxE"

Statue of Liberty

The obscene amount of times Racer sticks his tongue out

Raver ruffling Mush's hair

"AMSCRAY PUNK"

"BUNCHA WET NOODLES" "PULITZER'S POODLES"

Davey and Ike playing dogs even after everyone else drops it

EVERY SINGLE FACE IN THE POODLES SCENE

Lemme just (bad quality but I can’t clip it ;-;)

LIKE ALBERT WTF ARE YOU DOING???

JOJO MY MAIN MAN WHY

RACER THAT SMILE CREEPY AS HELL STOP

DAVEY AND IKE, AS STATED ABOVE

MIKE WTF

ELMER LOOKING ABSOLUTELY DONE

"LET'S GET DRUNK" 😃 Y E A H "NOT WITH LIQUOR" 😧

Clap

Hop

TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY TAP MAKE ME STIM SO HARD ILY

FINCH AND HIS SUSPENDERS

EVERYONE GETTING OFFENDED AT GETTING ONE UPPED

TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP

KICK

SPIN

BUMP BUMP

BUTTONS'S BROOM

EVERYONE GETTING SPOONS

"A L R I G H T RED"

SMALLS

ILY

SPOON FIGHT

EVERYONE JOINING IN

"GOT EM"

CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCCCKCKCKCCH

TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP

*shoving Kath out of chair*

*cleans off ground with hat*

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THE WAY THEIR LITTLE ARM THING TICKLES MY BRAIN

Albert: Ehhhh Albert: Oh shit that's actually p good

THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO GOOD

"LOOK AT ME I'M THE KING OF NEW YORK"

"THIS IS GONNA MAKE BOTH THE DELANCEYS PEE IN THEIR PANTSIES"

ELMER'S FACE

FINCH'S LIL FACE BANDAGE

THE SHOT WHEN THEY SING "GUTS AND GLORY"

SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

TKTKTKTKTKTKTTKTTKTKTTKTKTKTKT

"OF NEW YORK!!!"

SEEING THEM ALL OUT OF BREATH AND GRINNING AND IK THEY HAD SO MUCH FUN

SMALLS

Point

Clapclap clap

ROMEO AND FINCH HAVING SO MUCH FUN

FUCK WAIT NOW IT'S LETTER FROM THE REFUGE

"Dear Jack..."

I paused it.

I don't wanna watch anymore ;-;

I wanna pretend they're all still happy and tappin' around Jacobi's

"Guess I wasn't much help yest'aday"

"Oh, yeah, Jack This is Crutchie by the way"

Andrew Keenan Bolger is just so fuckin good

"So far they ain't brung us no fooood..." lol

"Maybe though... heh heh... Not tonight..."

"We miiiight just go..."

Definitely NOT Ike sleeping next to him SHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Damn this place."

"Your friend Your best friend Your brother Crutchiiiieeeee"

Albert Some other redheaded newsie: "Enough already!"

Everyone looking for Jack

MISS MEDDA I FUCKING LOVE YOU

Jack pretending to not be crying

"You're a gem"

"Does it matta?"

"If you're running away, nowhere is ever the right place"

"How about lettin' a pal know you're alive?!" Jack: Ffs 🙄

"Why don't I leave you with your boyfriend?"

"YaevathinkIdidntwannabefound"

"A B O V E THE FOLD"

Bap

Smack

They're so close just lean forward a lil and give him a lil smooch

Poke

:|

"JUST LIKE I SAID"

"We're inevitable"

"Fame is one intoxicating potion"

"Yes he did and then he died :)"

Kath's lil supportive nod

"Smart enough to get you committed to a padded room"

JACK'S ART

"Lighten up, no one died."

LES'S LIL WORRIED FACE WHEN JACK TELLS THEM ABOUT CRUTCHIE

"If I wanted a sermon I would show up for church."😠

"Tell me how quitting does Crutchie any good."

"Exactly."

"Here's how it goes-"

T E E T H

"Jackie think about it"

JACK HOW WERE YOU EXPECTING TO MAKE IT IN SANTA FE WITHOUT KNOWING WHY A SNAKE RATTLES

"poor GUYS head IS SPINNING"

"Whywouldhesendforthegoonsanentirearmydozensofgoonsplusthecopsand-"

Kath’s amazement at Jack admitting being wrong

ETHAN’S DUMB FACE 😭😭😭

“Stay on track”

“AND WEVE GOT JACK”

Spit shake

Davey being disgusted

“And I’ve got a date!!!”

Kath being nervous asf to confront her dad

“The newsies are striking against… me”

Kath trying to melt into her chair

I’m gonna kick Snyder

*WHACK* “WHAT GOOD WOULD QUIET DO ME”

Kath’s panic when Jack shows up

“Ask and ye shall be received”

S i t

“Good aftanoon bois”

“Aaand which Jack Kelly is this? The charismatic union organizer? Or the petty thief, and escaped convict?”

“Which one gives us more in common? Eh?” *wiggles finger*

“Crowwlin”

“Want i should save ya a spot on the bill?”

B o y

“When New York wakes up to-“ 😗🧐 “-front page photos of our rally”

“Even some reporters”

THE BIG REVEAL

JACKS FACE

KATHS FACE

“Yeeeeeessss”

Why does Pulitzer hit his desk so much? Take a Xan and calm down my guy

I’m gonna kick Snyder pt 2

THE DELANCEYS CATCHING AND HOLDING JACK SO HE CANT GET OUT DHSGWHMFKE

Morris looking 100% done with Pulitzers shit

“They know I don’t care” 🙂

“Tossed 🫴🏼➰ to the rats🐀 Will they ever be able to thank you enough?💅🏻”

BOTTOM LINE REPRISE

I like that he calls Jack ‘Cowboy’ in this song as a little homage to the original, but (bc I saw Livesies first) I was so confused when I watched it at first.

So ik they only use the newsies to move sets bc they can go fairly unnoticed by the audience when they’re going on and off stage. But just the idea that even if they aren’t actually there with him, them still do everything for Pulitzer is a statement to me

Morris hopp of stairrrrrrs

*bonk bonk bonk* “That there… is firm”

Jacks lil tantrum

“NEWSIES NEED OUR HELP TODAYYY”

HELLO SPOT LOML

TOMMY BRACCO 😍😍😍 (congrutalions on his engagement 😭😭)

THE LIL GAP IN HIS TEETH IS EVERYTHING TO ME

Reasons I love Brooklyn (from left to right:

Graves

Myron

Spot

Hotshot

Bart

Ty for coming to my Ted Talk

“We’ll getcha payback with some PAY BACK”

Speepy Jack

Spot’s dramatic ass taking his hat off

“BOROUGH WHAT GAVE ME BOITH”

Everyone else hurriedly taking off their hats

“FRIENDLIEST PLACE ON OITH”

“PAYUS A VISIT AND SEE WHAT WE MEANS”

“AND WHEN YA DOOOOOO”

“WE’LL KICK YA HALFWAY TO QUEENS”

Definitely totally Jack Kelly on that printing press and definitely NOT Devin Lewis

The entirety of the boroughs introducing themselves

PFFPTTHHH

“WE IS HEEEEEERRRREEEE”

Davey’s first spit shake without wiping it off 🥹

MISS

MEDDA

LARKIN

Bart’s lil hops 🥺🥺

THE CROWD CONTROL

Eyebrows

Jack Jack Jack Jack

Everyone smacking signs against the ground

“Youwannabetalkedtolikeanadultstartactinlikeone”

Racer’s smile 😭😭😭

“That’s was a lousy thing to do” Everyone else: HELL YEAH IT WAS

Elmer’s Graves’ smile

Pulitzer

S H O V E

“He’s a sellout”

JACK RAISING HIS HAND AT LES

“YOU'RE A TRAITOR JACK”

DAVEY'S DEVASTATION

“HESAIDYOUCOULDGOTHROUGHMYSTUFF?!”

Kath plz be more considerate

THE

FUCKING

PROJECTIONS

"A little different from where you were raised?" s n a t c h

"I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE ONE TO TALK ABOUT TURNIN' ON FOLKS"

"Ya ffffffffADDA"

"a ffffffist in ya mouth"

Finger wiggle

Paper wiggle

"good for you"

"The children's crusade..."

"Oh no"

"Ya just gonna take back lAta"

Gotta be honest, Something to Believe In makes me so irrationally angry. Their whole relationship feels forced and only there for the romance grab :)

I feel like they could've done a lot with Kath's character without making her fall for Jack

Like it makes sense that Jack would feel things for her. She represents this freedom he's never gotten to have. She helped get the newsies a better hand in life. Granted it isn't perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better. Not to mention all the newsies have the emotional range of a speck of dust.

Kath, on the other hand, seems very in tune with her emotions. She knows how she feels about Jack during Watch What Happens, and I personally don't think much changed between them between that and StBI.

I think it would've been far better to have Jack, this emotionally ignorant artist pining after Kath, the 'sure of herself' journalist helping make a better life for his family, despite the repercussions of going against her father, who was originally in it just to further her career but has grown to care for and love all of these kids.

Have I mentioned the projections?

I also haven't mentioned this at all, but I love the newsies that push in Jack's 'penthouse' and just sit at the bottom of the set pieces.

Bump

SHOVE

Also seeing Kath deck Jack right here (bc she doesn't know how to respond to him trying to kiss her) would be so much better than a kiss

Don't ask me why, just trust me

Their hug at the end of it though

IS IT NORMAL TO KNOW WHICH NEWSIE IS GOING UP THE STAIRS BY THEIR SILHOUETTE?

"We could hold a hoedown in here and no one would be the wiser"

"Hey!" "Hm?" "It's good to have you back again"🥰 "Shaddup."

BillDarcy

Y'ALL THEY TRADED VESTS AND THEY WANT US TO BELIEVE EITHER OF THESE BOYS ARE STRAIGHT???

Darcy's disgust

"B B Bill. So I suppose you're the son of William Randolph Hearst." "And proud to be a part of your revolution"😃

Nicholas Masson rolling his sleeves up-

Can we talk about how perfect a Javey first kiss would've been at "we ain't come this far to lose" without Kath being there

"HEEEEERRRREEE THEY COOOOMMMMEEE"

Tommy Bracco

Albert's lil nod

Smalls doing nothing but wiggling that bolt

look look

"BLEED EEEEM"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FREEDOM"

Spot doing nothing but standing and looking intimidating

WHACK

HENRY HELP SMALLS

Ty 🥰

ALL THE ANGLES THROWING PAPES

"TEN THOUSAND FISTS"

LAYERS

LAYERING VOCALS IS MY KRYPTONITE

A;SLDKFHAPSHGPAIUSFGP

BAM "THERE'S CHANGE COMIN ONCE AND FOR ALL"

THE FUCKING KEY CHANGE A;LSDGHPAOUSFGPANS I SCREAM. I CRY. I FOAM AT THE MOUTH. I LOVE THIS SHOW

Stomp

"WELL I'M SORRY-I AM-"

"Sorry"

"Such language"

"MORNIN GENTS"

hat

I didn't know you could throw money in an inherently queer-coded way but here we are

The way Jack sits in the chair and gets confy

"Oh, we're your loyal employees"

"Oooohhhh"

"WHAT'S THAT MAKE YOU"

Ben Fankhauser

The chorus starting up again and Jack just 👀

Spot taking off his hat again

wavey wavey wavey

Race 'cheers'ing with his cigar

"So what's your next move"

MISS

MEDDA

"Joseph Joseph Joseph"

Hummy hummy hummy

"Bully"

Shakes hand "My god"

"I'd do it with a SMILE"

"A soft head"

"He doesn't do happiness does he?"

HANNAH

HANNAH ILY

"I'm young. I ain't stupid"

"I GOT CONTITUENTS WITH A LEGITIMATE GRIPE"

Wiggle finger

"iT's a CoMprOMIse WE cAn All LiVE WiTH"

Spit shake

"andtheWorldwillknow"

TOMMY

FINCH

RACE BUTTONS ALBERT ROMEO I LOVE ALL OF YOU

THEIR SIGNS

HUGS FOR EVERYONE

Why does every actor who plays Roosevelt look exactly the same????

"Ya miss me?!" YES😭

Davey swallowing his laugh when Crutchie calls Roosevelt 'your highness'

"Don't sweat it, gov"

"tarantulas?"

"And we're family" YEAH YOU ARE BABY

"show me that backseat I been hearing so much about"

Albert's gimme gimme gimme motion

"G U Y S"

Race's lil hop

"I been I been BUSY"

smacksmacksmack

"CARRYIN THE BANNER MAN TO MAN"

"HERE'S THE HEADLINE"

Jeremy Jordan counting his steps

"WHOO"

"OF NEW YORK"

*incoherent shouting* "NEWSIES OF NEW YOOOORK AYOOOOO"

Tommy being slightly off

Kick

Spin

Flip

Clap clap

CHAZ WOLCOTT IS SO FKING TALENTED

shrug

BART

slide

I DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT THE GUY WHO PLAYS DARCY DOING FLIPS WITH NICK MASSON (WHO PLAYS BILL)

Specs falling when they do the lil cartwheels

All their lil hops and bows

THE DELANCEYS HANDSHAKE

AKB

Kara Lindsay being a lil early

JJ almost eating it

HYPEHYPEHYPEHYPE- Race, Mike, Ike, and Spot

JJ boogeyin

Kara and Ethan boogeyin

Kara and Jordan hugging

Nick swinging from the set

Ben and Sky doing a handshake and Ben almost knocking Sky over going for a chest bump when Sky wanted a hug

I DID IT

I FINISHED IT WITH ENOUGH ROOM

I HONESTLY THOUGHT KONY WOULD MAKE ME NEED AT LEAST ONE MORE, BUT I THINK STBI COUNTERED IT

[callsignmercy]

Princess - Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin.

Prompt: Hangman is an obnoxious man and very keen on making your life a living hell after you told him off. But what happens when you’ve got tired of all of this?

Words: ~3.3k

Warning: Sad, mention of death and suicidal thoughts. Minors DNI. English is not my first language so sorry for the easy vocabulary and bad grammar…

Note: This is my first Top Gun fic, please be kind. This is only part one as I made it extra long sorry. HIGHLY UNEDITED.

Part 2.

————————————————————————

Hangman could swear he found you insufferable. That evening when you passed the door of The Hard Deck with Rooster, scanning the room for your squadronmates, Hangman held his breath. He found you hot and cute but seeing you with Rooster maybe meant that you were together, which saddened him. But he was soon comforted.

“Bradshaw, as I live and breathe.” “Hangman. You look… good.” “Well I am good, Rooster. I am very good. In fact, I am too good to be true.” “Anyway, guys this is Princess, a fellow pilot at the Golden Warriors.” Rooster introduced you to the group. “Well hello there princess. Why do they call you that? Because you’re hot-” Okay is he flirting with you? Seems like the type to be honest. “-or because you’re a kiss-ass?” Okay maybe he’s just an asshole.

“Excuse me?” You stutter. “Well I don’t know, Princess as a call sign? Seems like you’re here because you kissed some admiral’s ass. You see you don’t resemble the type of pilots we usually see.” Coyote turns around, whispering to him. “Look at her name tag.” Hangman does so but he doesn’t seem to care. “Just for your information, Bagman, my call sign is Princess because I am William “King” McLeary’s daughter, it has nothing to do with any admiral whatsoever. In fact, I piss them off more often than I like to admit.-”

“True that.” Rooster murmurs. “-Second of all, you seem like a narcissistic asshole, with constant need of approval by your peers and mommy issues considering how you like to flirt with literally anything that breathes.” “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Hard of hearing and anger issues, we’re going somewhere.” “Don’t talk about my mother like that you bitch.” “Wow, that escalated quickly.” You add.

“You don’t like being put back at your place so you feel the need to insult anyone that contradicts you? How progressive. You need to grow up and realize everything doesn’t revolve around you. Look in a mirror from time to time and see how pathetic your life is before assuming things you didn’t even background check. Think before you talk, you’ll see it’s a good way to prevent you saying stupid shits. On that note, I’m gonna go get a drink. You can go back to your pool game and your miserable life.”

Everyone is taken aback by your monologue. Apparently nobody had every stood up to Hangman before you except to make snarky remarks.

You call Penny over and greet her as you haven’t seen her in a long time. “How are you doing Hon? It’s been so long. I heard about your father I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, I’m doing better, it’s not like it was unexpected, he’d been sick for a while.” “What can I get you?” “A beer please, I’m gonna need it to spend the night with that douchebag over there.” You point to Hangman as he gives you a deadly look.

“What has he done this time?” “You know the usual arrogant pilot thing, getting cocky and insulting people without arguments.” “Tell me about it.” You chuckle and take your beer. “How much do I owe you, Penn?” “It’s on Maverick tonight.” She points to a guy on the other side of the bar. You laugh. “It’s fine, I’ll get it. Put him out of his misery.” “Alright.”

As you go back to your squadronmates, Hangman heads towards the bar and whispers to you. “You shouldn’t have said that. You’re gonna regret it.” “Yeah sure.” You roll your eyes. If eyes could kill, you’d be dead ten time by now

As the first week passes you are constantly met with Hangman’s mean remarks about your name. You’re used to it and you don’t really care but today it has gone up a level. He is decided on making your life a living hell and for you to leave the mission before it happens.

This morning you found dirt all over your clothes, which made them impossible to wear, so you had to do a full laundry before going to class, which made you late. At noon he made you trip at the mess and you ended up on your butt, covered in sauce as your tray spilt on you. And he constantly ridiculed you in class, marking snarky remarks in class in front of Maverick.

The next day was no better, you shower stuffs were emptied all over the bathroom floor, constant devaluation of your performances in class, yet again, snarky remarks which made everyone laugh, except for your best friend Rooster, who tried to stop him but couldn’t. You feel like if he could, he would have gladly beaten you up in your sleep, which made you sleep bad for more than a week now.

Your lack of sleep affected your performances in the sky, which made you go down in Maverick’s esteem and the overall charts. Being a solo pilot meant that you didn’t have anyone but yourself to protect, but lately you were making dangerous manoeuvres and wishing you’d just crash just to stop having to deal with the constant pressure of Hangman wanting to defeat you.

As you go back to your quarters after yet a disastrous day you can’t help but break down. Hangman’s means were up the roof to make you leave and you couldn’t handle it anymore. Lately, because of your disastrous results, he had made a remark about you not living up to your dad’s legacy which ultimately lead to your downfall.

You couldn’t handle it anymore and as soon as you passed the shower door you fell down of your knees and started crying. You didn’t think a simple – yet true – remark about Hangman’s true nature could have led to a week of constant harassment and suicidal thoughts on your part. As you were sat under the running shower, fully clothed and crying to the point of not being able to breathe properly Natasha entered.

“Hello? I heard crying are you okay?” She saw you, and immediately came to you. “Oh my god, Princess are you alright?” You couldn’t manage an answer and kept on crying.

“What happened? Are you hurt?” You shake your head, not being able to mutter a single word. She cut off the water and sat next to you, holding you in her arms.

After several minutes of you constantly crying and not being able to catch your breath you finally managed to calm down a bit and explain to Phoenix why you were like this.

“I’m gonna quit. I’m gonna go back to the Warriors and leave you guys to it I’m not cut for this job anyway.” “Gosh, is this because of Seresin?” You didn’t answer but your tears doubled and she understood. “Look, Hangman’s a douchebag, you shouldn’t listen to him. You bruised his ego so he tries to do anything to get back at you but it’s nothing. He’s just an insecure little boy.”

“It’s more than that he’s made my life a living hell. The other day I was late to class because I had to redo all my laundry because of him, and the time he made me trip and fall at the mess? I can’t sleep because I fear he’s gonna show up during the night and beat me to death. And recently he’s been talking about my dad and I couldn’t handle it. I’ve been shitty in the sky because of his remarks in class, I won’t be chosen for the mission so better yet go back to my normal life. I’ll tell my decision to Captain Mitchell and the admiral today.”

Phoenix held you tighter as she felt saddened about everything you just told her, she couldn’t imagine what had happened because you never told anyone. She felt sick that anyone could be this mean to anybody and not feel guilty about anything.

As she managed to get you to bed and let you sleep because you definitely needed it, she goes up to Jake with the sole intention of telling him off. “Bagman!” “It’s still Hangman.” “Whatever. What the fuck did you do to McLeary?” “Nothing more than she deserved.” He replied, not guilty in the slightest.

“She just told me that you made her life a living hell, pulling shits on her constantly, making snarky remarks, terrifying her to the point that she cannot get a single minute of sleep at night. Wearing her down to the point that she wants to kill herself whenever she’s up there. What the fuck is wrong with you? She just told you the truth, something that none of us could have had the guts to tell you upfront and you decided, instead of thinking about it and doing better, that it was best to give her suicidal thoughts and depression? Grow the fuck up Seresin, this isn’t kindergarten anymore. You’re thirty for fuck’s sake. Of course you’re a womanizer and maybe you in fact need constant validation by your friends but it’s not a reason to push someone over the edge. As she said, look in a mirror, you’ll see how pathetic you are, even more than you used to be.”

Jake froze the instant Natasha told him Y/N wanted to kill herself when flying. It made him think about his attitude and how he ended up in this situation. Don’t get me wrong, it is highly unusual for Jake to even think twice about the way he acted, but he never wanted to push anyone to the point of no return. He just wanted you to quit so he wouldn’t have to deal with you anymore.

The next day when you show up to class, Natasha can’t help but notice the even bigger bags under your eyes. You don’t smile, you don’t even look alive. You were determined to give you resignation at the end of today, you just couldn’t handle it anymore. This was worse than the basic training you had to do to become a pilot, the torture they put you through as a final test, in case you had to crash in an enemy territory – of course you can’t give any information about you or your bosses of anything for that matter – but the torture was nothing compared to this. Because the torture you could handle just fine, the pressure was like adrenaline to you, but this was a totally different scenario. You had said something in the first place that led you here. In a real torture scenario, you would have kept your mouth shut.

As you sit at the very back of the class, not being able to comprehend a single word that comes out Maverick’s mouth you think about your father. The King was the greatest alongside Maverick and Iceman. They had graduated together and made a great team whenever they went on missions. He was rear-admiral during the time Iceman was admiral and they retired around the same period. About a year ago, your father became really sick and eventually died a couple of months ago. He was your hero, he gave you the love for flying and the envy to do great in the navy. So when you graduated Top Gun – a year before Hangman and Rooster – he was obviously the proudest father in the world. You thought he was the greatest – alongside Iceman and Maverick – and hearing Jake say that you didn’t live up to your father’s legacy made you lose all control.

You had always tried to make him proud and very often succeeded, you were the only one – with Jake – to have confirmed kills in the Navy. Jake didn’t know about it and you weren’t the type to brag around unlike him. But you always hoped you made everyone in your family proud.

The hours you spent in the sky that day weren’t great either, you almost had to eject because of a bird strike but eventually managed to regain control of your jet. You stayed alarmingly quiet up there, not joking like you used to, just giving the minimum of communication that was required of you. Your voice felt cold and sad and everyone seemed to have noticed it but they didn’t say anything to you by fear of saying something wrong. Even Hangman didn’t make snarky remarks to you today. And you were grateful that you didn’t have to fly a single time with him. But your mind was set and at the end of the day you were going to talk to Maverick about your decision.

“Captain Mitchell, may I have a word with you?” You asked. Your face and tone remained neutral which was actually destabilizing for him, as the usual spring in your step and smiley face weren’t there to welcome him.

“Lieutenant McLeary, how may I help you?” Somewhat he remained professional. “I wish to resign from the mission, I’m afraid I am not cut out for it and I feel like I’m taking the place of someone that would be more deserving than… me.” He let out a small sigh. “What guided your decision Lieutenant?” Maverick wasn’t blind, he noticed the constant meanness of Hangman and the fact that you were unusually quiet and sad today.

“My results are too low compared to the others and I feel like my dad’s passing is taking a toll on me right now.” “Come on Y/N-” Maverick got angry which made him lose his seriousness. “I practically raised you. You’re not even going to say the goddamn ass’s name? You’re perfectly cut for this mission as Iceman and I are the one that approved all the candidates. We had the shortest discussion when it came to you and Rooster, it was an automatic yes for you both because we knew that you two are the best of the best. So admit that someone made you take that decision and that your flying performances are not due to your father passing.”

Tears crept to your eyes has you were trying to keep a composed face in front of your superior. “I don’t know what you are talking about Captain. As I told you, my father’s death – although expected – was a great shock for me and I wasn’t ready to let him go.” Maverick sighed to your answer. “Alright, but please, give yourself and everyone one more chance. Come to The Hard Deck tonight with us and see if you change your mind.” “I really don’t think it’s a good idea Captain.” “Please, one last chance, and if anything goes wrong I’ll let you go on the spot and I’ll deal with the admiral myself.” You thought of it a second. What was worst? Having to keep a straight face and lie to the admiral to avoid Hangman being reprimanded or spend the evening with happy people and inevitably ruining their evening with your sadness?

“Alright. An hour and then I’m gone.” Maverick’s face erupted into a soft smile. “Come on, I’ll buy you a beer. Don’t tell anyone.” You couldn’t help but laugh.

That evening you were sat at the bar with Maverick and talking about everything and nothing. “So, are you going to say his name? We’re not at the base, I’m uncle Pete and you’re just Y/N, so tell me what happened.” You sighed deeply. “Ever since that first night here, Hangman has made my life a living hell on the sole reason that he doesn’t accept someone telling him the truth about himself.” “What did you say to him?” “That he was a narcissistic asshole with mommy issues, anger issues and constant need of validation.” “You should have added arrogance and small dick in the mix.” You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah.” Is your only reply as you drink a gulp of your beer. “I’m gonna go catch some fresh air, I’ll be back in a few.” “Alright I’ll wait for you here.”

As you headed toward the back door – the one that led to the beach – you heard the obnoxious voice of Hangman saying hello to Penny. You rolled your eyes without looking back and pushed the door open.

You’re sat on the sand, facing the ocean, thinking about all the time you wasted here that could have been useful back at your base with the Golden Warriors. You got startled by a voice you knew too well. Yet this time it was soft and comforting. “Do you mind?” You didn’t reply but Jake sat down anyway. Since when did he need permission for anything anyway?

“You know why they call me Hangman?” You stayed silent once more. “It’s because they say that whenever we’re in danger, I’d rather save my own ass and get away from the conflict rather than sticking up to the enemy.” He paused. “But the truth is that I’m the one that fears them leaving me behind. So whenever I have the chance, I’d rather save myself than waiting for someone I trust to leave me to die.” You understood what he meant, yet didn’t say anything.

“Phoenix told me how you were feeling.” You closed your eyes, wanting him to stop talking.

“I don’t want you to die Y/N.” That’s the first time he has ever spoken your name in a nice manner. “I realized I pushed you too far and you shouldn’t feel the way you feel right now. I’ve been there when my mom died when I was little. So yeah, like you said, maybe not having my mother around probably gave me mommy issues and this constant need of validation. I shouldn’t have gotten angry about that. But the truth is, you were probably the first person to say it to my face. And having it said made the whole thing so much more realistic that I just snapped.”

“I’m sorry I did all those things to you, you didn’t deserve any of it. I know I’m never gonna be able to apologize enough for you to forgive me but I want you to know that I’m being genuine. I’m terribly sorry for everything.” He continued.

“I’ve had an appointment with a shrink just before coming here and he made me realize that you were right all along. I’m trying to be the bigger person and facing the reality now. I hope it’ll work. Anyway, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t up to the expectation and I’m sorry I talked about your father.”

The tears came crashing down on the sand but as you didn’t make any noise and it was dark, you suspect Jake hadn’t seen them. “I’m gonna go back, I won’t bother you anymore. I just wanted to be able to tell you everything.” You didn’t answer and he got up. You kept looking at the waves crashing on the sand and Jake leaving left a hole in your heart. The tears kept on coming, blurring your vision. You looked up at the stars, looking for one specific one. The one you always wished on with your father. “Dad, what should I do?” You asked the star.

After about an hour processing Hangman’s words you got up and headed back to the bar, your eyes red from the tears. Maverick noticed them when you sat back down next to him. “Penn!” He said quietly and motioned for her to give you another drink. “Thanks Penn.” He says.

“Is everything okay kiddo?” “I just spoke to my dad. It felt good. Relieving actually.” “And what did he tell you?” “That I should stay and fight to earn back my place.” You answer, eyes locked on the drop of water falling from your beer bottle. “Will you be alright?” “Yeah I think I will.” You look up at him with a small smile. “I think I will.”