#why the hell did no one tell me this earlier i am absolutely delighted

[cursedwithwords]

Okay I've never actually looked into Fleamont and Euphemia, and generally speaking I take canon with a grain of salt anyways (I pick and choose what I like) but i was researching Fleamont for a future chapter and-

It is hilarious and SO vindicating that it's CANON Fleamont got into fights at school, like that is so fucking funnyyyyyy.

Fleamont in the afterlife watching Lily Luna get into daily fist fights at Hogwarts (and winning them):

Fleamont in the afterlife when James Sirius got into that fistfight with two Ravenclaws in chapter 7:

Fleamont in the afterlife when Albus Severus says he wants to hex Caleb Gaton within an inch of his life:

He's so proud of his great-grand-babies 🤧

[kanndlila]

Marked

Scaramouche x Reader 

College au : Waking up after a party at the Fatui Mansion brought to you by Pantalone after being dragged into the party and abandoned by Yoimiya who didn’t care about an incoming project deadline and somehow find out the ‘errands’ that your project partner Scaramouche was running is the party itself. I mean, who prioritizes parties over deadlines?**

CW: cockwarming, profanity, dubcon? reader is fem-bodied. I am in dire need of a checklist of this stuff so I know what to point out. 

—

What the fuck is happening? You opened your eyes to nothing, the lights were off and you don’t sleep with the lights off. You could tell you were absolutely exhausted from the bare lack of energy to even move. Huh? Why am I naked? and this blanket is too warm! You tried to get your brain and body to work but nothing’s connecting as if you were being visited by your sleep paralysis demon. 

“sssttop moving.” Okay, something really is stopping you from getting up and it’s breathing down your neck. Scary. Your sleep paralysis demon never spoke before. You let out a gutteral sound in protest but with exhaustion taking over once again you simply let out a huff before going back to a dreamless sleep. 

Right behind you on the same comfy bed, was Scaramouche. Snuggling into your hair, inhaling your [what he considered to be such an] addicting scent, holding you closer because your body warmth is simply delightful against his body, fingers spanning your chest, legs entagled with yours, and his cock wrapped by your walls. Everything felt too good. He ghosted a few kisses on your shoulder before he went back to sleep himself.

The next time you awaken, your brain took some time to start functioning but the first thing you saw fired up your brain instantly. Eyes staring back at yours. Scaramouche. Wha? He had you trapped between his arms on definitely-not-your bed staring at your previously sleeping face. 

At a loss for words, you both just silently stared at each other. Daylight was sipping in through the windows and it seems that the sun has risen long ago. His eyes, you could stare at them all day had he not have such a deplorable, disgusting attitude. 

He was the first to break eye contact, kissing your neck and the rest of your decolletage which made you realize 1) you’re naked and there’s no use hiding now, 2) your thighs involuntarily contracted out of suprise and they hurt, and 3) the soreness and sensitivity between said thighs is evidence last night’s events. Scaramouche stopped after you unwittingly let out a soft moan and grabbed his hair when he went through the sensitive spot between your neck and shoulders and you just looked at him with [from what you can feel,] a fiery red breathless face. 

He gives you a chaste kiss. “We both have shit to do.” THE AUDACITY. You were the one trying to get out from his grasp earlier and even now he has caged you again he says you’re restricting him from doing whatever duties he may have? You had a school project, groceries, chores planned out for today but no, you have to move some tasks tomorrow or another day all because you didn’t wake up early enough. 

“We have that damn 3D art project due on Monday. It’s Saturday.” You reminded him, still staring from below and taking your hand away from his hair. He got up and so did you, testing the waters for your legs’ capacity to carry you today while he used the bathroom. You dug up your emergency kit in your bag first as it had your spare underwear that you kept in case your monthly curse came by surprise. “Are you just going to stand there or are we going to get a start on that project?” He huffed.

“At least let me use the bathroom first!” You rolled your eyes. “We don’t even have the materials to start working on it.” Welp, back to normal. You took your emergency kit and head for the shower. You were getting things setup when you saw yourself in the mirror. Bitemarks and hickeys all over your neck and chest. 

FUCKING HELL

You glared at the marks he left you. “I don’t have time for this.” You were going to do that project, then groceries, then laundry although you definitely had a lot of clothes left, some weekly cleaning, maybe even meal prep all for today but it’s 10 AM and you haven’t gotten a start on anything!

“Took you long enough.” He was already munching on a rice bowl, eyeing your choice of clothes and your neck. “Eat.” You just sat down, the question what the fuck did you do to my neck dying at the back of your mind when you had a taste of his glorious decent cooking.

-

A/N: this is supposed to be a part of a 5(?) chapter fic but this very scene right here won’t let me move on to writing the other ones. I hope someone caught the Mean Girls reference ehe~. and yes, that exposition part, I’ve yet to get brain juice to write that but I already have idea on what happens after this. Also I think I won’t be using Notes next time I write fanfics, it fucks up the formatting.

[down-the-yaoi-hole]

Review: Suzuki Tsuta's Barbarities

Barbarities by Suzuki Tsuta (originally published 2016-2020, English translations released 2019-22--yaoi manga eras are IMPORTANT to me, ok?) is a fun, action-packed historical romance about a fancy boy, former-royal-turned-bodyguard (Viscount Adam Canning) falling in love with the righteous and surprise! super pretty judge/politician (Judicial Lord Montague, aka 'Joel') he's been hired to protect from assassination attempts! This is a porn WITH plot--the writing is definitely the centerpiece, as an elaborate political drama plays out in the backdrop of Joel and Adam's love story. I loved the playful frenemies dynamic between the effeminate, beautiful top and an older, somewhat surly bottom. I read the first 3 volumes earlier this year and then had to wait months for the final volume to come out on fan sites, but dang it was worth the wait--volume 4 was splendidly explicit!

Where to read: a. google 'read barbarities free' like a CRIMINAL or b. purchase yourself some print comics from Seven Seas Entertainment, my new favorite publishing house since they also publish MXTX's books! I'm waiting until they have all 4 but then I'm buying the set, heheh.

I really enjoyed this manga--would probably give it an 8 or 9 out of 10--but first I wanted to share some content warnings and bad jokes with which I took issue. While there is (miraculously) not a r4pe in this story between our two main characters, there's a scene in which the top attacks the bottom in a kind of 'see, I could do it but I don't want to' fuckin weirdo move that felt pretty disingenuous with the rest of the story, wherein Adam chases Joel around like a lovesick puppy. The other thing I'll flag is a tasteless prison-r4pe joke--I think?? There were a lot of jokes made about Adam being imprisoned at this super tough island prison, and making all the other prisoners either bend to his femme-boy-bad-assery or fall in love with him or... implies that he r4ped the other prisoners? I could not tell, and would be interested to hear what other folks thought of this 'joke'. Maybe we can give the author the benefit of the doubt and assume he was just beating up the other prisoners, but my queer little eyeballs sensed innuendo and I didn't like it. It just feels like this comic was so close to completely escaping the SA trope in yaoi (a very ~complex issue~ since sometimes I want emotional realism but also CNC is a VALID fantasy) but ultimately fell just short of the mark. In short, content warning for mentions of / implied sexual assault.

That said, all the other parts of this story are absolutely FANTASTIC, so let's get into why I loved this manga so much. ❤️

Art: I mean look at this shit, it's absolutely beautiful. Tsuta-sensei knows what the hell she is doing and I was so pleased to see such a talented artist tackle such a complicated setting! She added little post-script comics at the end of each book (there are 4 volumes in total) about just how time-consuming and exhausting it was to illustrate all the frilly clothes and fancy sets, but dang I am so grateful she did, this manga is gorgeous. I don't think I've ever read another period piece comic with this level of detail, and I've always loved how she draws her men. They have feminine, pointy faces with touches of a sharp jaw or facial hair, and her droopy little sad-eyed boys delight me.

2. Story: Thicc ass storytelling here--mentioned this up top, but it's a fantastic 'porn with plot.' The political dealings get a bit intense at times, but don't let that deter you from getting to the juicy bits. Aside from our main couple, we get 2 side narratives: one is about a prince from a neighboring country, and his servant/former slave (yikes) who have some really fun 'bro time' whenever the prince gets drunk, which of course gradually progresses to falling in love. Side story 2 is about the boy-king (he's like, 8) of the country in which the story is set falling in love with princey's younger brother when he come to visit. They're both like, 8, and it's very chibi and cute and whatever. Not really my thing, but cute.

3. Characters: Hot AND hilarious, Joel and Adam are so much fun to watch. Y’all know I love a femme boy, and there are TWO excellent ones in this manga and I am here for the femme for femme energy. You can't tell from the cover art, but Joel is actually dressed in a disguise with a barrister's wig, fake beard, and glasses for like 60% of the story and it is SO funny, it's like watching Oliver Cromwell star in a boys love manga. The author makes his garments, like Joel's robe, very ~pretty~ and he blushes hilariously under his big ole wig, I absolutely LOVED it. Adam is tall with long blonde hair and such a pretty face that I would absolutely break my no-blondes rule for him. His demeanor is highly effete, which I love for the top/leading man half of the duo, it’s quite unusual to see the seme (manga slang for ‘top’ for my darling n00b readers) actually acting like a gay man. Far too often the top is a straight men who swaps teams for one beautifully feminine man, but in this case we have an out and proud bi/pansexual ch

Playboy noble Adam has heard of the talented judge who rose from being a commoner to a trusted confidant in the king's court, and he genuinely wants to work for this principled man as his loyal bodyguard. When he discovers the man's 'nephew' Joel is actually Lord Montague without his wig on, Adam falls in love with this hot slice of rational philosophy and decides to pursue Joel until he consents to be his lover.

Excellent comedic bickering in this enemies-to-friends-to-lovers dynamic really makes this one of my highest-rated BL manga of all time.

4. Horniness - hehe yeah we gots it let’s get this post FLAGGED y’all

This is definitely more about the plot than the porn but fear not lovelies, there are some great sex scenes. I’d say the sex between the visiting prince and his attendant is the hottest, while the climactic smash between our two leads is much more tender and sweet. I like both! But my favorite is definitely when the visiting prince ‘rewards his servant’ (read: himself) by letting him c*m inside. Stellar. A+. We love an angry bottom boy who resents the fact that he loves when his boyfriend fills his ass. 💖

Final verdict: if you like a well written slow build to some tasty, realistic & emotional sex scenes, this is the story for you! If you’re just trying to JO I’d say skip to Volume 2, Chapter 16 hehe 😏

[writingthingsisdifficult]

Good intentions

Bucky Barnes x reader

Had to divide the story into four parts, and I’m working as fast as I can to finish the rest.

Please don’t hesitate to tell me what you think :) Especially if you like it.

Everybody's alive.

When Natasha catches your reaction to seeing a soaking wet Bucky coming in from the rain, your life becomes unbearable. Nat considers herself a decent matchmaker, but what happens when both her subjects are resisting her attempts?

***

Part 1: Matchmaker

Word count: 4412

It had been raining for weeks. Racing streaks down the glass. Soft drumming against the umbrella. Big, fat drops of water splashing against the pavement, sending shivers through my body whenever they hit my skin. Two in rapid succession on my neck – don't know how, though, my coat collar was pulled up as high as it could go, and my umbrella was larger than average. Then one straight into my ear, which made me squeak in disgust. This had to be an omen.

I shook my umbrella before stepping through the door. No need to be a savage, though from the look of it, I was the only one who cared. A quick nod good morning to Nesta in the reception while making a mental note to call down the cleaning crew. The state of the floor was appalling. Mud and dirt and water – apparently not everyone remembered to wipe their feet before entering the building. And umbrellas all along the wall, dripping on the tiles, creating puddles so large a toddler would happily jump in them.

A long sigh escaped. Time for a stern talk with Nesta again. This was supposed to be a good first impression, not an impression of someone's mudroom. My stomach twisted, this was just the latest in a long string of minor complaints. If she didn't improve soon, I would have to make a note in her file and I hated being strict. Still, it was a part of my job, just like running errands before eight in the morning and longing for the coffee I left in my office. I didn't have to like it.

The elevator pinged. “Hey, Y/N.” Natasha walked out with a smile on her face. Her hair was red again, like flames cascading over her shoulders. Damn, that woman really could carry any hair colour. I nodded and smiled back. “Good morning, Agent Romanov. You're in early. What can I do for you? Love your hair, by the way."

"Thanks. I was wondering if you could help me with something."

I shook off my coat and adjusted the bag on my shoulder. "Of course. What do you need? Let me just –""

The door blew open, banging into the doorstopper before closing behind a sopping wet figure and an umbrella that definitely had seen better days. "Good morning, Y/N. Hey, Nat. Have you seen Clint?" Bucky shook himself, sending a glittering spray of water everywhere.

"No, but check the roof."

The air was knocked straight out of me. I couldn't stop the tiny squeak that tumbled over my lips.  The way his hair stuck to his face did things to me, not to mention how the water glistened on his metal arm. I hadn't felt heat on my face like that since I was seventeen and spilled juice all over my shirt in front of my neighbour Todd.

Swallowing the rest of the rude noises hovering in my throat, I forced a smile and nodded to the elevator. "Saw him by the coffee machine on the third floor earlier, Sargent Barnes." My voice was breathier that usual, and I cursed the weather for calling me out like that, while simultaneously praying to any deities listening that nobody noticed.

"Thanks." He marched to the elevator with a pace that would divide a crowd of people without a word.

Natasha looked between Bucky and me, a devilish smile spreading on her face. Once he was out of earshot, she bumped me with her elbow. “So, Bucky, huh?”

The heat crept up my ears and settled in my temples. Surely I was no more than two seconds from combusting? “What? I don’t… no, I mean –" I drew a big breath and steeled my face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now, what was it you needed my help with?”

Her eyes locked on mine. "Never mind that… You're a terrible liar."

A good point. I let out a small wheeze and scrunched my eyes shut. "Fine! Yes, Sargent Barnes is a tall drink of water. Is that what you want me to say? Well, yeah, okay. Maybe I do have a thing for him." The defeat was inevitable. Already my intestines were squirming. Nothing good could come from this.

Natasha looked like it was Christmas and her birthday all at once. "I knew it!"

I shrugged, ignoring the rising chill in my chest. How to best deescalate this before it got out of hand? "Well, you are a superspy after all. But please, PLEASE, don't say anything to him. I like my job. Besides, he's a fucking superhero. I'm just… me."

"Just you?" She shook her head lightly and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I mean, come on! Look at me!" Holding my arms out, I swayed from side to side. I never liked to draw attention to my body, but apparently she needed the extra visual.

Natasha arched her eyebrow. "I am looking."

She was good, but I couldn't to give up that easily. "Yes, and then you clearly see that I'm ordinary. People like him don't fall for people like me. He's too perfect for that."

"Perf… perfect?" She snorted. "Y/N, Bucky's a mess. He's basically a cucumber with anxiety. Damn, you really have it bad if –"

"I know he has issues. You all do. I'm the one booking everybody's therapy sessions, remember? I'm not talking about his trauma. I'm talking about the fact that he's sweet as a marshmallow and his smile could power a small European country if Stark only found a way to harness its brilliance –"

"And the fact that he's got those broad shoulders and could probably lift and throw a bus if he wanted…"

"And that," I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck to stop that annoying heat from spreading even more. That was a delicious picture, alright. "But I'm nothing special."

"Y/N, sweetie, what are you talking about? You know everything, who's supposed to be where, what we're doing, when we come and go – that's practically a superpower right there. Don't downplay yourself."

The laughter came out dry and humourless. She had to be kidding. Being organised and good at puzzles wasn't exactly rocket science. And besides, I didn't even have a good memory. Without my trusty calendar and phone I'd be running around like Hei-Hei.

"Appreciate your confidence in me, but I don't think so, Nat," I countered and repeated: "Please don't tell him."

She sighed. "I won't."

I tilted my head and put on my best mom-voice. "Promise me."

Her shoulders slumped forward, and she lifted her hand in the air. "I promise I will never tell James Buchanan Barnes about your crush." There was a small pause. "Partypooper!"

"Who's a partypooper?"

I yelped and spun around, looking into Tony's smiling face. "Oh my god, Tony, I mean, Mr Stark." Why did he have to be so stealthy? A big, flashy guy like him ought to be required to announce his arrival with trumpets and drums. Through my galloping heartbeats I noted the glasses were new though, and wondered what kind of new tech they really were. They suited him.

He smirked. “Not the first time a lady has said that to me. But you didn’t answer my question.”

Exhaling, I closed my eyes, just barely resisting the urge to pinch my nose – or maybe kick him in the shin as a diversion. This was going to hell with the express train. “No one. No one's a partypooper.”

“Really?” He turned to Natasha. “Nat?”

I shook my head vigorously, bringing forth all malice I had to my eyes, which I have been told is substantial.

"Y/N has a crush and –"

"Ooh, is it me?" He winked and wiggled his eyebrows.

That made me laugh. "What? Oh, god no." Then I immediately felt bad for my reaction.

"Okay, a little bit insulted, but whatever…"

"She won't let me tell Bucky that she's in love with him," Natasha continued as if she had never been interrupted.

Tony gasped, a look of absolute delight in his eyes.

It was as if the ground disappeared beneath me. A rush of adrenaline almost knocked me off my feet. "Natasha! You promised."

She shrugged and pointed at Tony. "I promised not to tell Bucky. Last I checked, that is not him."

This time I did pinch the bridge of my nose and exhaled deeply, then groaned silently. “Nat!” Even I could hear the desperation in my voice. “Sargent Barnes is a friend. Well, uh, a colleague. Of sorts. I do not -“

“So you didn’t just squeak and burst into flames when he came through that door, huh?” She pointed to the glass door with a grin on her face.

Yeah, this was definitely a torture-the-handler day. Though Natasha was right about my crush, of course, and I wasn't even sure it was just a crush anymore; it had lasted for far too long to be called a crush, I had to keep a professional relationship with all of them.

Truth be told I had had a crush on Bucky since the day we were introduced, but I remembered the exact moment I had fallen in love: it was a chilly spring evening about a year ago. The team had decided to go out to eat, Wanda had discovered a new restaurant downtown, and the food supposedly was to die for. I couldn’t remember what I ate, or if I even liked it, but I remembered the knitted cardigan Bucky wore, the one with the colourful pattern on it. It looked really soft, and I found myself longing to touch it. That wasn’t the moment, though. The exact moment that made me go “Oh shit!” was when I cracked some stupid dad joke, and Bucky unleashed his full laughter on me. Who knew that "Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera," would be my doom? But the sound had stunned me, made me lose my voice for several minutes. If someone had opened my skull at that moment, the only thing they would have found was an empty space and a dial tone - my brain frantically trying to reconnect with my body. If I concentrated I could still hear the ringing in my ears.

I avoided him for a week afterwards - well, tried and failed; my work meant contact with the entire Avengers team at all times - but the mental distance hurt too much to keep up with it. Since then, I allowed the realisation to wash over me, causing me both joy and suffering. And I thought I hid it well. Not well enough, apparently, since Natasha sniffed it out. I resisted the urge to close my eyes and sigh again. However, I couldn’t stop my intestines from curling into a tight ball. She had brought Tony into this after all.

Tony’s eyes shone. It had been a long time since any drama unfurled in the compound. He was practically starved, and this… This was delicious.

Looking between them, I knew this wouldn't end well. "You know what? I'm gonna go set up the briefing. Room 705. Thirty minutes. Don't be late." Fishing the phone out of my pocket, I sent a group text to everyone with time and location. In afterthought the wording in the text might have been a tad too harsh, threatening bodily harm if they were late, but the start of the day warranted some sort of reaction leaking from my brain. I locked eyes with Natasha. "Not. A. Word!"

She nodded, but the grin never left her face.

Tony watched me frantically push the elevator button, and I caught him whispering, not knowing I could still hear him. Or maybe he didn't care. "So what's your plan?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you have a plan? You're the resident match-maker here, aren't you?"

Nastasha let out a small laugh. "Do you know why she refuses to do anything about it?"

Tony nodded. “Because she’s professional and a bit afraid for what the people at the top are going to say?”

“No. Well, probably that too, but she thinks Bucky is way out of her league. Something about him being a superhero.” She snorted.

“What?” Tony let out a barking laugh. “Why? Bucky’s like the most timid ex-assassin you can find. I mean, he’s basically a cup of soft serve covered in salt and liquorice."

“I know. We gotta get them together. So, uh, are you in?”

“Uh, yeah! What’s your plan?”

The room finally sealed itself around me and I heard nothing else than the back of my head banging against the mirror wall and F.R.I.D.A.Y. cheerfully announcing what floor I was going to.

Half an hour later I had to step out for a bit to fetch a new cable to the projector, and when I got back, almost everyone were seated. My chest hollowed when I spotted Tony and Natasha sitting together, looking very conspiring indeed.

The urge to either run from the room or break them up rose in my throat, but instead I pulled up a chair next to Sam and focused on my breathing. He was one of the most calming people on the team, and I shamelessly used him as a shield.

Other than the small scare in the beginning, the morning briefing went without hitch. Agent Hill presented the upcoming missions, and I marked my calendar accordingly. Apparently SHIELD had detected a new terrorist group forming in northern Europe, and needed eyes.

Natasha was a given, she could go undetected for longer periods of time, and could take care of herself if necessary. Of course, Clint would come with her. They were an amazing team together, and he would probably go anyway, even if he was assigned to another task. It was better just to let him.

Steve and Sam would step in if it came to that, but would have to keep under the radar until they were needed. Bucky would travel to Europe with the others, but I knew he would set off alone the minute they touched ground in Stockholm. He worked best alone, or so he claimed, and anyway it would be an advantage to spread out. Still, I made a note on my pad to make sure he had everything he needed, and then some. Who knew where his road might lead him.

Bruce and Tony would work together to develop a better algorithm for the surveillance. So far, the terrorist group had evaded SHIELD's best efforts to pin them down. I was actually surprised to learn they didn't even know their name, which made me suspect something big was coming.

The rest of the team was assigned to other, smaller missions, scattered across the States. That way they could easily be reassigned if the situation escalated in Europe.

During the meeting, I kept an extra eye on Natasha and Tony. They sat next to each other, and though I thought I saw them passing notes a couple of times, I didn't want to bring any attention to it. The rest of the group looked oblivious. A sigh of relief escaped me, and Natasha looked up. She nodded imperceptibly towards Bucky, who sat with a bored look on his face and a discarded towel by his feet.

I narrowed my eyes and shook my head, trying my best to stop my ears from buzzing. Suddenly aware of every molecule in the air and trying desperately to ignore the intense weight, I focused all my attention back on Agent Hill’s presentation. Still, Bucky’s presence lingered in the back of my head, and together with the imminent threat from Natasha and Tony, I felt like I was sitting on explosives.

When Maria finally closed her laptop and turned to Director Fury, everybody got up, chatting as if the meeting had been a regular parent-teacher meeting and not a brief on a possible terrorist organisation on the rise.

“Can you believe that people will do things like this?” an agent asked as we all filed out of the room.

“Well, faith is a strong persuader,” I replied with a shrug. “Some are willing to go far for what they believe in.”

“Yeah, but they’re wrong,” the agent continued.

“They’d probably say the same about us,” Sam said, and I nodded.

“There are always two sides to the coin. If not more.”

“But -“

“And then it’s up to us to figure out what to do. We have to look at the big picture. Not everyone is capable of that.” Sam tilted his head with a look of disappointment in his eyes.

The agent huffed and hurried off with a look on his face that either said that he was constipated, or that being schooled by a member of the Avengers was too much for a Wednesday morning.

“Not sure he saw the big picture, Sam.” I shook my head and smiled.

“Don’t think he could. Better hope he doesn’t get promoted soon.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. He’ll be on desk duty for years still. And I guess you have a little desk duty yourself right now?”

“Well, actually… I was hoping you could do me a favour.”

Uh-oh. That sounded ominous. “Of course. What can I do, what do you need?” My voice rose to mimic the retail job I had before I got lucky enough to join SHIELD's training and ultimately land my dream job.

Sam grimaced. "I gotta go to Louisiana. Just a short trip, couple of days maybe."

"Shit, don't think Director Fury would be too happy about that right now, not to mention the rest of upstairs. You're supposed to be on silent duty until you leave for Sweden."

"Yeah, I know that, it's just… Cass and AJ has been asking me to come visit. And Sarah's getting sick of their nagging. Also, I sorta promised on the phone yesterday. Didn't know there would be a world crisis today."

Smiling softly, I hid the urge to smack my face into the wall. This was going to take a lot of explaining and string-pulling. He was supposed to go no-contact for the duration of the mission, but I hated disappointing the boys. And Sarah was a good woman. She didn't deserve being let down, even though it technically wasn't Sam's fault this time.

"Sam, you're such a softie," I said after some consideration. "Go. I'll figure something out. Just be back before the weekend, okay? And –"

"Yeah yeah, and I'll come in at once if the situation escalates before we're scheduled to head out."

I gave him a crooked smile to disguise the trouble he had just handed me. "Sure. But I was gonna say bring back some of that pecan pie. I've been dreaming about that since last summer."

Sam let out a loud laugh and kissed the top of my head, melting my nervous soul to a gooey puddle. "You're the best. Thanks."

"Fly safe."

"I always do."

"Really now?"

"Oh so that's how it is, huh?"

"That's how it is. Say 'hi' to Sarah for me."

With a short wave, he took off down the corridor, leaving me quietly screaming and already doing the mental gymnastics to find a solution.

***

Departure time was in two days. Everyone was on edge, trying their best to prepare for any eventualities, both inconceivable and expected. After a short meeting with the departure crew to share the last pieces of intel, I felt empty and tired. Missions always affected me more than they should. These people were my friends; if anything were to happen to them, my world would collapse.

Apparently I wasn't the only one feeling a bit drained. No one was in a hurry to leave, and the conversation was hushed and weary.

"You know what we need?" Tony said loudly, slicing through the silence and winking to Natasha. He thought I wouldn't notice, but I did, and the suspicion grew in my chest. What now?

"Pizza!" they said in unison. "We should gather everyone, before we all go."

Tony nudged my arm. "My treat. What do you say?"

Narrowing my eyes, I tilted my head. "…sure."

"Oh, don't be like that. We all need good pizza. Especially today, what with all this rain. Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y., you know that pizza bakery up the street, the one with the chicken one. Order pizza for everyone. Remember the one with pear, brie, and white sauce. Have it delivered to the lounge."

That did it for me. If he ordered my favourite, I'd be damn sure to eat my part. "When?"

"Uh…" He looked at his watch. "Noon. I'll send out a ping. Don't worry about it."

"Thanks. I do have a ton of things to do to make sure you guys don't die on this trip." I tried to keep it light, but now that the thought had settled in my mind, I had to fight off the tears. It was a miracle I managed to keep the tremble from my voice.

An hour later I tripped over the doorstep to the lounge, surprised to see it was empty except for Tony and Natasha and a huge stack of pizzas. "Where is everybody?" The door clicked behind me, sealing the silence in.

Natasha shrugged. "Late?"

At that moment the door opened again and Bucky sauntered in with a mischievous smile on his face. "Gimme the pizza and nobody gets hurt."

"Jeez, Buck. Remember your manners. There are ladies present." Tony grinned, but opened the top box and helped himself to a slice.

Bucky snickered and rolled his eyes. "Sorry, Y/N," he said with an over-the-top flourish. "I hope you can forgive my insolence." He gestured towards the pizzas. "Ladies first."

My heart did a somersault, but I managed to keep it cool on the outside. "Insolence forgiven," I replied, swallowing a hiccough that lodged itself in my throat, before taking a plate and sifting through the boxes until I found the right one. Loading my plate, I sat down, sinking into the soft cushions. Only thing missing now was some candles and a drink, and I'd be set for the day.

Natasha gave Tony a pointed look. Two minutes later he picked up his phone and half jogged out the door. That was odd. Tony never jogged.

I looked between Natasha and the door, the pizza forgotten halfway between the plate and my mouth. She looked anywhere but at me, but was saved from a confrontation by her phone ringing. "Gotta take this," she muttered. "Can't prepare enough for the trip." She smiled apologetically and left the room. That was a lie, of course. She had full control; all intel was already read and destroyed. And if something new had come up, I would have been notified too.

Suddenly the plate felt heavy in my hand. Maybe it was naïve, but I had expected Natasha and Tony to respect my wishes; after all I had made it absolutely clear that they should leave it, hadn't I? Their amusement and entertainment wasn't worth being an inconvenience to Bucky.

"What's going on?" Bucky asked when the door clicked behind Natasha.

"I… I don't know," I lied haltingly.

Bucky shrugged. "Oh well. Might as well catch up on some paperwork before the flight too. See you later." With one slice between his teeth and another in his hand, he left the room with a friendly wave.

"Sure. See you." I spoke to his back; the glass door had already closed behind him. The lump in my throat grew. Even though Tony had ordered my favourite pizza, I no longer had any appetite. My mouth was dry, and it was a struggle to swallow. In a fit of frustration, I kicked the table, smacking my toe in the process. The pizza slice slid from the plate and landed on my thigh. "Fuck!"

"Ooh, pizza!"

I spun in my seat. Steve had just arrived, and that made me feel a little bit better at least. He was always a laugh.

"Where is everybody?" He looked around and spotted my moping figure, holding an equally sad slice of pizza. "You okay?"

"I guess," I replied, trying to smile and failing miserably. "Everybody else left. The mission, yeah?"

"Right. I thought everything was planned and okayed."

I couldn't bring myself to fill him in on the situation. If he didn't already know, it was nice to have someone neutral by my side. "Yeah, I don't know."

Their scheme was becoming clear; making Bucky spend time with me alone. But it was a failure. Even he thought it was awkward, and he obviously didn't want to be alone with me. Not that I blamed him. If I was him, I'd do the same.

I glanced at my watch. 12.30. Just then Sam, Bruce, Wanda, and Vision spilled into the room, heading towards the pizza like a herd of hungry goats. Slowly my appetite returned too, and half an hour later the blow to my heart was a painful memory pushed to the back of my mind by excellent pizza and wonderful friends.

Later that day I ran into Tony on the way to the garage. He tried to slip past me, but had to stop when I blocked the door, arms crossed over my chest and puffing myself up as much as I could. "Seriously, Tony! What did you expect to happen, huh? That I'd just throw myself in his arms because we were alone? Because newsflash: I've got both self-control and decency. Do you really think I've never been alone with him before?"

At least he had the decency to look thoroughly chastised, and he mumbled something inaudible I thought maybe sounded like an apology.

No way he was getting away with a tiny one. "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you."

"It was Nat's idea," he said, trying a smirk that didn't work at all.

"I very much doubt that," I replied, dragging a hand over my eyes. "Do I have to call Pepper? I didn't think so," I added when he shook his head. "Do better! Now excuse me. I have a lot of work to do to ensure you actually don't die on this mission." With a final, exaggerated frown, I turned and marched out of the room, ignoring the samba in my chest.

Part 2: Eel infested waters

[troubatrain]

tis the damn season - m. tkachuk

a/n: as we all know, i am an absolute whore for a christmas fic and when i listened to evermore yesterday i knew this needed to be done. i literally haven’t written anything this fast in forever but i hope you guys like it!! (also tagging @igor-shestyorkin​ @blueskrugs​ & @fenwaynightlights​ for reading this last night and telling me it was good so i’d actually finish it ily)

The second you walked into the party, Matthew’s eyes didn’t leave you. He knew you were coming, but watching you step into his parent’s house with a plate of your famous chocolate chip cookies and a smile that made his heart skip a beat, was almost taunting him. You dated forever ago, the last real relationship Matthew had ever been in, and by the looks of it - it was staying like that. You greeted everyone, down to the biggest hug to his grandparents who swore you were going to be Matthew’s wife one day. That was because that’s just how you were, kind and smart and constantly impressing anyone who Matthew introduced you too. Every teammate he had at the time loved you, and he knew if you were in Calgary his team now would be the same. Brady adored you, even admitting to his brother he still called you for girl advice because if Matthew fumbled the bag when it came to you there was no way Brady should take his advice. Matthew couldn’t even think about your relationship with his sister, or how crushed she was when you broke up. Then there was his parents, his mom swore it would be okay. That it was just Matthew’s first love and eventually he’d find his forever but he knew she was lying. Matthew found forever with you, and he let it implode because his dream was just more important at the time. Now, he could be at the top of the world and none of it mattered because you weren’t by his side.

Matthew just felt dumb now, because you were on to bigger and better things and you weren’t hung up on your high school ex-boyfriend. You went off to college, crushed it, and moved back into St. Louis with a near perfect job offer and success practically radiating off of you. He was standing in his kitchen in the worst Bud Light Christmas sweater like an eighteen year old frat boy and you looked every bit like the goddess Matthew knew you were. The perfect Christmas red dress you were wearing sat on your frame flawless, and it was obvious that red was still your color.

“I can leave if you want me to?” You ask, leaning into Matthew when you finally made your way over to him. Your voice was low, mouth close to Matthew’s ear while you hugged him so no one could hear you ask. You were an infinitely better person than he was, so of course you asked him if it was okay to stay.

“You’re always welcome here, you know that,” Matthew answers, sipping his beer for some liquid courage he desperately needed.

“Just because your mom invites me doesn’t mean I need to be here,” You shrug, “Maybe you’ve got someone here…”

He would never. Matthew had never even considered it, what it would be like to bring someone home that wasn’t you. There wasn’t one person in Calgary who could measure up, and despite the fact that his family loved him and would accept anyone with open arms, deep down Matthew knew you would always be on their minds.

“I don’t,” Matthew says, trying to stop himself from wrapping his arm around your waist while you stand with your chest still pressed against his from your hello hug, “I mean what would be the point? They don’t make cookies like you do.”

Matthew had to joke, cover up the fact that he was never able to let go of what you had and choke it down with beer he was drinking. He liked seeing you, the same times he did every year. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the occasional summer BBQ was something he looked forward to, sometimes he even hoped for an extra reason for you to both be somewhere. He knew you’d come, because you wouldn’t dare deny his mother’s invitation.

“Of course you noticed I made them,” You rolled your eyes, pushing Matthew back jokingly, “Remember when you used to beg me to make them-”

You stopped yourself when you noticed where this was going, you never brought up the before times. The times when Matthew would give you his best puppy dog eyes for you to bake him something, followed by a plea to just look the other way when he devoured the entire plate.

“Maybe it’s best we broke up, I probably never would’ve gotten drafted by eating these,” Matthew teases, sliding past you to grab a cookie off the counter and taking a big bite, “Because fuck these are good.”

Matthew’s moans in delight sent a chill up your spine. You hated that he could still do that to you, because it was the same thing every time. You’d see him, and for a moment you’d think that this would work itself out. You could get back together, and falling in love would be just as sweet a second time, but it wouldn’t work. You were settling into your own, a fresh lease signed in your new apartment you were going to move into after New Year’s, and Matthew was going to go back to Calgary where he was a big deal. That was always the dream, to make it big in the league and make his parents proud. Matthew was doing it, not that you ever doubted him, but you were proud nonetheless.

The thing was, because Matthew was doing the damn thing, he gave up you. It was like a deal he made with the devil when he was seventeen, he could have everything he ever wanted if he didn’t have you to hold him back. You always knew that was why he broke up with you, it was the right person at the wrong time.

“It’s nice to see you Matthew,” You muse, biting the inside of your cheeks to hold back the grin on your face. You stopped the conversation before it started, constantly trying to make this as painless as possible, but it wasn’t always easy.

“Wait, uh, you’re going to be here until Christmas right?” Matthew asks, grabbing your attention before you slipped out of the kitchen. Matthew was hopeful, catching a flight a few days earlier than he usually could and landing before Christmas gave him more time to see you.

“I’ll be at my parents house,” You nod, thinking about your childhood bedroom that was currently covered in moving boxes while you waited to settle into your new place.

“Oh sweet,” Matthew takes another swing of his drink, trying to keep his cool because you were the only person who made him completely uncool.

“Yeah, sweet, I’ll see you around,” You wave, disappearing into the kitchen. Matthew takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts for a minute until Brady stepped in front of him. His little brother scoffed, a stupid smirk on his face when he finally spoke.

“Dude that was painful to watch.”

***

Matthew had no idea what the fuck he was doing. His feet were just carrying all two hundred and two pounds of his body in the exact direction of your house. He was drunk, well over the limit of how many whiskey shots he could even handle. He looked at his watch, it was almost three in the morning but if he didn’t get it out now when would he ever. He loved you, and all he could think about is what would happen if he could have just had one more night with you. Maybe you’d feel it, you’d always been pretty intuitive with his feelings, because he was awful with them. He had to make his case, did he even have one?

Oh hey Y/N, I know I’m hammered and it’s three in the morning the day before Christmas Eve but I want you to know I’m still in love with you.

That wouldn’t work, and he was going to have to do better than that. He could turn around and go home, but if he had to watch another one of your Instagram stories and pray that whoever was in them wasn’t your boyfriend again - he would lose his mind before he made it to the holidays next year. He snuck past the gate into your yard, not surprised to see your whole house was sleeping quietly. He picked up a few pebbles from your mother’s garden, shaking them in his hand and hoping you remembered the way he let you know he was outside when you’d sneak out in high school.

One.

Two.

Three.

You were woken up by the sound of three pebbles hitting your window, and you rub your eyes in disbelief by what you were hearing. Matthew wasn’t outside your window at three in the morning looking for you, why would he even think about it? 

“What the hell are you doing?” You ask, poking your head out the window and crossing your arms to battle the cool air blowing through.

“Come down?” Matthew asks, wiping his palms on the back of his jeans and giving you his best smile. A real one, because you’d always been able to tell when it was fake.

You should’ve closed the window, and pushed Matthew to the back of your mind until you found yourself creeping on his Instagram again. You were always a good listener, and you always tried to do the right thing but Matthew was your vice. He’d always been a little bit a bad boy, but never enough to stop you from coming back for more. So you opened your window a little more, slipping down and scaling down your house just like you used to.

Matthew could have pretended like he didn’t notice, his last name faded on the back of the hoodie you were wearing, but he couldn’t. You looked just as cute in it as you did all of those years before, “Seven was such a good number on you, I wish I could have kept it.”

You could feel the heat on your cheeks, hoping Matthew couldn’t catch it in the moonlight, “Why are you here?”

“I want one more night,” Matthew takes a deep breath, standing his ground, “I, uh fuck-”

Matthew Tkachuk had never been good with words. He put his foot in his mouth, all the time, but his plea was something you never thought you’d hear. It was Christmas, you were lonely, and a part of you wondered the same thing. So you said fuck it and decided that this was your problem later, pressing your lips to Matthew’s. Your hands gripped his shirt, trying to get as close to him as you could. Matthew was dumbfounded, wrapping his arms around your waist, his fingers digging into your sides.

“Can you be quiet?” You ask, pointing at the back door. It was the middle of the night and your parents room was on the first floor but if Matthew was quiet enough you could get him upstairs easily - you used to do it all the time.

Matthew nodded eagerly, following you inside and tip-toeing up the stairs. He was doing a terrible job, either he’d gotten bigger or the floors in your parents house had gotten creakier.

“You said you could be quiet,” You tease, letting Matthew push you against the door, he twisted the lock, smirking at you.

“I’m a lot bigger than I used to be,” Matthew declares, fake puffing out his chest.

“I noticed…” You muse, running over your hands over his shoulders. He’d gotten broader with age, and it wasn’t something that was lost on you. You press your lips to his, throwing your hands around his neck and pulling him closer. Your fingers crept up to his curls, tugging on them slightly. Matthew smirked against your lips, “I missed that.”

“I missed you,” Matthew mutters, wrapping your legs around his waist to bring you to your bed. You squeal, tucking your head into shoulder to stop the noise, “Who’s the loud one now?”

“Well don’t stop kissing me then,” You tease, grabbing Matthew and pulling him on top of you. You worked quickly, a pile of clothes in the corner of your that was going to be addressed later. Matthew’s lips were on your neck, his finger circling your clit while you bit your lip hold back a moan, “Matty please-”

The nickname slipped your lips so easily it was like you never should have stopped calling him that. Matthew took notice, and it was like music to his ears, “Anything you want babe.”

“Fuck me,” You breathe out, desperate for as much of him as you could get. Matthew slipped out of his boxers, pumping himself a few times before he gave you a look. You nodded, giving him the go ahead and pulling his lips back to yours. Matthew slipped inside you, and it’d never felt better.

Matthew was better now, much much better. His hips were snapping into you, a near perfect pace while grunts left his lips. The pleasure was almost too much, and you could feel your nails scratching into his back while you bit into his shoulder to keep yourself quiet. His hand snaked down to your clit, “Cum for me babe, c’mon.”

You clenched around him, the sensation was enough to send Matthew over the edge, spilling into you. He dropped to his elbows, placing lazy kisses on your skin while you basked in the post sex glow. Matthew’s skin was glistening against the moonlight from your window, his breath in your ear while you caught yours and it all felt right.

“You know you have to go now,” You remind him, “My dad will murder you if he catches you up here.”

“I know,” Matthew bumps his nose against yours, pressing one more kiss to your lips, “I’ll see you tomorrow? Or later?”

Later. It had completely slipped your mind that in just a few hours you were going to be forced to run an annual day before Christmas Eve 5k with the Tkachuk’s like you did every year. The idea was somehow worse than doing it on Thanksgiving, and now you had to see Matthew after you let him fuck you in your childhood bedroom. You watched Matthew dress himself, hopping out your window and back to his own house.

Now you just needed some sleep.

***

You felt like shit, and you were missing the iced coffee you didn’t have a chance to get while you trailed behind your parents to meet the Tkachuk’s. You greeted everyone, stopping at Matthew last, you were unsure of how to even greet him after what you’d just done a few hours before. He didn’t think anything of it, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his chest.

“Here,” Matthew says, nudging his cup towards you. You assumed it was coffee, but then the taste of a mimosa hit your tongue.

“Jeez,” You choke, coughing while you take down the champagne with just a hint of orange juice.

“Do you think I was going to run this sober? You wore me out last night,” Matthew teases, and he could feel Brady’s gaze on him.

The wheels in Brady’s head were turning. He was suspicious, catching Matthew sneak back into the house early in the morning, and now watching the two of you - it was clear. It became even clearer when they started running, because Brady knew Matthew wasn’t that slow and he didn’t wasn’t going to let Brady beat him. He was though, jogging behind Brady with you and laughing at whatever you said. There was one thing that was clear, Matthew got over his dumb fear of talking to you and finally did. His brother was happy, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was going to watch this explode in your faces in a few days. Matthew would go back to Calgary and just the first time you broke, it was going to be ugly.

***

The winter in St. Louis was brisk, but Matthew’s warm body next to you was enough to fight it. Your head was on his chest, and you were snoring softly. Matthew picked you up a few hours after you got home, driving up to the same lake you snuck off to in high school. He stole Brady’s truck, driving off with a bunch of blankets without giving Brady an answer as to where he was going. It was supposed to be romantic, but you’d always been prone to falling asleep when you were with him.

Matthew didn’t have a complaint in the world, you slept the same way you used to. Your head on his chest, a leg tangled with his and your hands clutched to his shirt so he couldn’t move. He wasn’t going anywhere. Matthew would let you sleep the entire day away if he could have. He carded his hands through your hair, a content sigh leaving his lips.

Matthew often wondered what would have happened if you never broke up. If you’d followed him to Calgary and what that would have been like. Maybe you’d still be together, and after all these years he’d start looking for a ring. If you’d buy a house together, maybe even be that family that houses wayward hockey players just like his parents did. You’d be the person he got to share looks with across the room when he was forced to have conversations he didn’t want to have. He’d get to take you family skates and you’d get to see him play and you’d live happily ever after.

Reality was always much more cruel, and it wasn't pretty. You had a life in St. Louis, one that didn’t include him. You were moving along in your life just fine without him. You didn’t need Matthew and it was dumb of him to think you’d drop it all for him. You never asked him to stay, and it would be unfair to ask you to wait around.

“I can hear you thinking, you might start to malfunction soon bubs,” You whisper, your voice still laced with sleep. You meant to run a hand through his hair, but the palm of your hand just hit his forehead while you moved it back down slowly. Matthew chuckles, the silly nicknames you gave him seemed to come out without a second thought, and it felt good to be called any of them by you.

“Just thinking about you,” Matthew breathes, and you pick up your head. Matthew shoots you a smile, but you knew he was faking it.

“Matty-” You take one deep breath, “Don’t ask me to come with you, you know it’s not fair to me.”

Your voice was cracking, pleading Matthew to just not have this conversation. You weren’t ready for it, because it meant accepting defeat. The universe wasn’t going to allow you to be together, and that’s just how it was going to be.

“I don’t want to go back to Calgary,” Matthew whispers, more to himself than you. He did want to go back, but he wanted to go back with you.

“You have to,” You sit up, a chill running through your body from the loss of Matthew’s body next to yours. You rub your arms to warm up, “You have to because we’re just not going to make it work Matty.”

Matthew nods solemnly, like his heart just broke all over again. You were right, you always were, it just seemed naïve to think you’d both be any different now than you were the first time, “Let me take you home.”

The car ride was awkward. The only thing cutting through the silence was the Christmas music playing on the radio. You sat with your head pressed against the window, counting down the streets until you finally hit yours. Matthew halted the car, and you gave him one more look before you stepped out of the car, “Tell your parents I said Merry Christmas.”

“I will,” Matthew nods, and those were the last words you heard him say before you walked up your stairs. Matthew waited for you to be inside before he drove off, a small part of him hoping you’d run back to the car and tell him you wanted him too. You didn’t, and that was just how it was going to be.

***

Christmas was awful, the past two days seemed to pass were pure agony. You were sad, and knowing Matthew was about three blocks and four houses away wasn’t helping. You were counting down the hours until he was back in Calgary, away from you and you could finally grieve him for the final time. The last nail in the coffin of what was once your first love had yet to be hammered in but once he was gone that would settle it.

You had two more hours until you knew his flight would leave, and you were so close to the finish line you could taste it. You were home alone, your parents still making their way to a few neighbors' houses to spend the last few moments of the holiday with their friends. You were sulking, a wine bottle stolen from your mother’s collection and the Grinch on your TV. 

A doorbell was the only thing to interrupt you, and you could see a tuft of curly hair through the window. Matthew was standing outside your door, pacing back and forth while he waited for you to open it. You thought about acting like you weren’t home, maybe he’d leave and never come back. You opened it, not even having a chance to open your mouth before he spoke.

“Come with me,” Matthew pleads, “I love you, I still do and I always have and we’re meant to be together. There isn’t anyone I want more by my side than you, and I know it’ll be hard but I’m not ready to let you slip through my fingers again.”

“Matthew-” You interrupt grabbing his arm to stop his pacing, “Listen to yourself.”

“I am, and I want this, I never wanted to give up you and I just can’t fly back there with people who don’t know when I’m faking a smile or when I don’t want to be somewhere,” Matthew explains, running a hand over his face, “You’re the best I’ll ever have and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

“I’ll come until New Year’s,” You agree, Matthew’s face breaking out into a very real smile, “We need to talk about this Matthew.”

“You talk, I’ll listen, you can have whatever you want,” Matthew agrees, because he’d move the sun if he could for you. His lips pressed against yours, pushing you against the same front door he kissed you in front of on your first date. The porch light still flickers the way it used to while Matthew’s hands gripped your face because he was afraid to let you go. You both finally pulled, Matthew mumbling his next words against your lips.

Tis the damn season huh?

[captnjacksparrow]

I just got into the fandom and I love it so much. However, there are parts where I just cringe. I’m going to be completely honest when I say I can’t see SS being a thing, a healthy one at that. A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him. I just... find it utterly bullshit. Hell, even I do ship narusasu, I tried to be open minded and not fall too far off canon or the characters. I don’t understand how Sasuke had those feelings for her when all he did was shown the opposite and it felt genuine. He seem always annoyed and pushes her away. She kept forcing her feelings on him when he makes it clear that he’s not interested. I don’t hate the ship because it’s not my ship but because it’s extremely toxic. It feels one-sided (Sakura’s side) more than anything and it’s makes it hard to believe he had those feelings for her. I mean, on the second episode of season five, she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive. She’s just like every other fangirl expect she’s on his team. I’m trying my best not to hate her but Damn she’s really pushing it. Anything that annoyed me was that she made it seem like they were dating, again making it about herself and her feelings. She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.” I just can’t with this ship. I’m still wondering why the hell is it even a thing? Also find it beyond pitiful how she stayed with Sasuke in Boruto when he left for 12-13 years?! No note. No checking up. Nothing. Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP. If that’s what true love looks like (good thing it’s not), then I’d die single. I can’t be the only one who thinks this ship is just as bad as Harley Quinn x Joker.

First off, Thanks for this lovely ask @larrycherry04 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I've always wanted to write about this and your ask is the perfect timing.

Disclaimer: SS shippers, Sakura fans!!! Don’t read  this post!!

Me being an SNS shipper, I am just going to write this from a non-SNS perspective. Meaning, I am going to consider Naruto and Sasuke are just friends or rivals. 

Bear with my lengthy answer.

Where do I even begin?

A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

I think this rumor is from a light novel called Akatsuki Hiden or whatever shit. But for me, it looks like a pathetic attempt to convince those horny women shippers who would pay any money to read a romance which mirrors their own love life where they desire an ‘unreachable & handsome’ man who has this ‘cool & overbearing’ aura and carries this ‘bad boy badass’ vibe. They would do anything to get the attention from this boy. Until this point is where the reality ends. 

What they really wants to happen and fantasize is somehow that handsome man, one day, will look only them and recognize their love and becomes a ‘soft’ guy who would bring the heavens for them and treats her like a princess. That fantasy led them to buy these novels and believe everything while completely disregarding the canon material. And those novels are aimed at these type of women.

You must have been wondering now, ‘I have seen these type of shit somewhere’!!!!!

That’s right.

50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, Beauty and the Beast, 100′s of K-Drama, C-Drama follow this shit romance trope and it’s regrettably fucking popular. 

In other words, Don’t believe anything apart from the canonic resources. 

Let’s dissect the canon materials about SS.

TEAM 7 

This is how it all started

Does anyone see anything positive here???? 

Well, I am not.

Sakura wanted to impress Sasuke. Since, Naruto always picks fight with Sasuke, she badmouthed Naruto in the hopes that Sasuke will recognize some common ground with her which may develop into a friendship. But she shot her own foot. 

[Regardless, I hated her here and she never redeemed herself, for her being completely insensitive & oblivious towards Sasuke’s life, the boy she loves]

Technically, Sasuke should have said ‘You’re Annoying’ towards Naruto for kissing him before the class and tying him up later. Here, Sakura is simply badmouthing another guy. He, somehow, find this very annoying than anything Naruto did earlier. 

Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

Am definitely not seeing any feelings here.  

ZABUZA ARC

Alright, much later, somehow Sasuke started to integrate into team 7 and started to see them as a Family. No denial here. He started to care about everyone in his team at some point. Which was evident from the way he thought to himself, ‘That was Sakura’s voice... What is Kakashi doing?’

But does it means he hopelessly fell in love with her??? Nope. 

It’s just a team camaraderie where he was worried about his teammate. If he has special feelings towards her, he should have said ‘I must go save Sakura’ or something along the line. 

But, later in that episode, he went on to die for Naruto and even at his dying moments he didn’t think about Sakura or Team 7. It was all about someone else.

Even seconds before falling into Naruto’s arms, Sasuke was smiling with no regrets. 

It was funny very later that after he got up from his temporary death, rather than consoling her like ‘Sakura, Don’t cry. Am alright’ or anything, he was asking ‘Where’s Naruto?’. LOL.

Even much later, when Sakura was asking him about a date, he bluntly said ‘I refuse’.

So, you’re telling me, throughout this arc, a boy blinded with hatred can able to pout, play childish games, train and die for a boy but when it comes to Sakura he can’t show his feelings???

Sorry, I don’t see romance here. Not in this arc.

Whether you agree or not, every parent has their favorite child, every child has their favorite parent. Even within your family, you always have a special person.

For Sasuke, Itachi was that person in his real family. Sakura was not that person in his Team 7 family. It was Naruto.

CHUNIN EXAMS ARC

This arc is where those SS shippers celebrates a lot and I know why. Remember earlier I talked about that shitty 50 Shades of Grey romantic trope??? The following scene vaguely falls under that pattern.

A guy loses his control because of a cursed seal and beats up the guys who hurt one of his teammates which happens to be a girl and calms down after seeing the girl. 

That Infamous back hug. 

I understand why SS people lose their mind with that scene. And I don’t blame them. I am going to throw their own proof at them.

So, this First databook, tells us that he finally sees both Naruto and Sakura as comrades and his heart softens from the path of revenge, a little bit.

Definitely, Sakura’s tears or love towards him stopped his rampage. But nothing says about whether Sasuke loves her back.  

Much later, Sasuke also stops his cursed seal on his own after thinking about worried Sakura and a screaming Naruto (Who don’t know about this seal thingy at that time). 

Well, whatever. That databook has another funny fact, that too in the same page. 

LOL. Weird!!!! This accidental kiss unravels Sasuke’s heart ❤️❤️???? 🤣🤣🤣

So, influencing Sasuke’s heart can be attributed to both his teammates,according to this databook. Atleast upto this arc. There are no special feelings for Sakura alone, guys. 

Proof?

If Sasuke really considers her in a romantic light (this is after that back hug), he doesn’t have to do this at all. Believe me, Love is all about subconsciously or purposefully enjoying or feeling little touches. Those touches can be through eyes, memories or physical. Sakura is delighted with his touch because she loves him but Sasuke just see her as a comrade and keeping his distance but this time very politely.

If Kishi really likes these couple, he doesn’t have to make this scene at all. It’s not just this one instance, he rejected her twice very bluntly before this saying ‘Don’t cling to me!!!’, ‘Sakura, you’re heavy!!!’. 

If you say her back hug is a token of romance, then I can say ‘this’ kiss is also a token of romance. You can’t ignore one while keeping the other.

Anyways, at the end of the arc, Orochimaru is the best judge to identify who can change Sasuke’s heart. And that person is not Sakura.

DEPARTURE

she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive.

You know what, Larry??? You are 1000% right. 

But, atleast, I thought she was genuine in the first part of the proposal, like saying ‘Revenge is not good’.....bla bla.. Because, Revenge will never satisfy a person completely and I agree. Then she took a 180 degree by saying ‘Take me with you, Sasuke-Kun. I’ll make you happy’. This is where I lost it entirely. ‘Alright Bitch, So you really don’t care about his revenge or health. As long as you have the chance to get inside his pants, you are okay with it. So you are okay with Sasuke going to Orochimaru as long as you are with him..... Fucking Shit!!!!’  This is not okay at all. 

How did Sasuke respond?

“Why should I have to tell you anything”

“I’m telling you to keep your nose out of my business”

“Stop bothering me over everything I do”

Ummm..... where I come from, this screams ‘Irritation’ to me. Added to it, throughout the whole conversation he never saw her face. There was evidently no pain or anything from his face. On top the cake, here comes the cherry

“You really are...annoying”

This is where he saw her face throughout that painful confession before knocking her out. Umm... When you love someone or atleast feel for someone, you will look in their eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave. Or atleast show some pain??? There’s visibly nothing from Sasuke’s face. 

Alright, I know what SS wankers will pull out here. That Databook 2 with some vague words. I am going to throw this at them. 

Again, like I acknowledged before, he considers her as a comrade and part of a family. So, her existence also eased his loneliness. But you have to look at the word choice here. “The one that filled his lonely existence was Sakura”. It’s not the ‘Only’ person. Before he left he said ‘Thanks’. Meaning, Thanks for all these days. That’s all between us. 

This piece was about the Team 7 picture. So he acknowledges, he was not alone during his genin days because of his companions and Kakashi (so it’s not just Sakura to ease his loneliness). Whatever he said to Sakura was real. 

So can we safely confirm “You’re annoying” is real????

But what’s really interesting is the way Sasuke projects himself before Naruto. I am going to refrain myself from attaching all those rollercoaster of emotions flowed throughout the fight in VoTE 1. Otherwise, it will become an SNS post. 

However, this particular scene caught my attention.

Ummm.... Initially Sasuke walks without looking at Naruto. Then he looks back and answers him. 

Naruto was pretty much asking the same question as Sakura. “Why does it come to this?”

But Sasuke pauses and surprised for a moment and asks him pretty much “Why do you care about me?”

Why couldn’t Sasuke do the same with Sakura???? Kishi can pretty much make a panel or two rather than making some insulting panels.

Anyways, If they throw the databook, then I can also throw the same.

Alright, can someone explain the highlighted sentence for me???? Because I want to confirm whether I have a blurry vision.

Here, Sasuke is trying to punctuate Naruto as a different person from the rest of his companions. ‘his companions as well as that with Naruto’, I mean, Come on!!!! Naruto is also one of your companions along with Sakura. Why differentiate????

‘The village, companions, Naruto,....’ . Again....He is differentiating his home (village), companions (his friends), and Naruto. So who is Naruto for him? What is the need to make exception for Naruto? It’s very clear he is placing Naruto at a high pedestal for some unknown reasons.

Before this Databook dissection, remember I said something about saying Goodbye, ‘ When you love someone or at least feel for someone, you will look into that person’s eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave‘

Sasuke is doing exactly that here in this scene without saying anything.

Am sorry SS shippers, you can scream all you want about Sasuke knocked her out and left her on the bench. But there was no emotional distraught when he left her. Sasuke seemingly spent a longer time staring at Naruto than looking at Sakura when she confessed. 

OROCHIMARU HIDEOUT

Well, there is nothing I can say about here for SS. He pretty much saw her and said, “Sakura, huh?”.. And that’s all. He didn’t give two shits about her. 

His attention was completely on someone else. 

UNDER THE BRIDGE

She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.”

Naruto pretty much said the same thing in this arc, Larry. Naruto, in part 1, was happy for Sakura feeling the same about Sasuke as him, that is ‘To bring him back’. And also sad that his crush really loves someone else. But after Sakura gave up on Sasuke and faking her confession, Naruto decided, ‘Alright, I want to save him personally. I don’t care about our promise anymore”. 

This is where, SS ship goes into a crazy ride and it’s not a positive one.

Sasuke was on a rampage. He lost the ability to differentiate between his friends and foes. He stabbed Karin. And when he find her alive, he was about to Chidori her. 

And then comes the pink princess, full of lies and deceit. And Sasuke being impatient and disgusted with her lies, he does this

Well, in part 1, she had a degree of power to change his heart. But not here. He, instead, got riled up more and even tried to kill her without a warning and that too by not looking at her face. Pathetic!!!!

This scene screams ‘Trust issues’ from both sides. 

Did it stop here???

Fucking Shit!!!!!! Is there any people who still ship this nonsense?. If you are a Sakura fan, you should hate her for the lack of trust and backstabbing the person she loves, 

If you are a Sasuke fan, errrrmmm.....I have nothing to say. You know what to do. 

There is nothing positive here, that can make me ship them. He is killing her like a Mosquito.

If you truly loved someone in the past, even in your darkest moments, you will be honest and you cannot fake before that person.   

Proof??

Here, Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill his brother, Itachi. He lived for this moment for about 8 years and immersed himself in Darkness for 3 years with Orochimaru. He could have run away, dodge or look away from Itachi. But Sasuke simply couldn’t!!! You know why?? Sasuke loved Itachi once more than anything in this world. At this moment, he is letting all those defense loose and embracing the moment and see what Itachi was about to do. Because somewhere in his heart he trusts Itachi. 

But killing Sakura doesn’t make Sasuke feel anything. She is just another victim like Danzo or Karin or all those Samurais or a fucking mosquito!!!!

So you are telling me that Sasuke had feelings for her but kept it hidden all along and still tried to kill her like a pest???

Give me a fucking break!!!!

And you all know, who changed Sasuke’s heart here in this scene. It was not Sakura. There’s absolutely no reason for Sasuke to listen to that person and what’s more, Sasuke even made a promise (despite being in darkness, he had it in his heart to listen to that person) to destroy Konoha only after killing that person .. 

WAR ARC

Well, this is the arc where Sakura behaves like a rabid dog on heat waiting for Sasuke and shamelessly trying to wag her tails. But Sasuke didn’t give two shits about her, not once or twice but multiple times.

MOMENT 1

An explosion was about to kill the whole shinobi alliance and this dude wants to save Jugo, his companion and Naruto, the person who will challenge his Revolution, his rival and the one whom he wants to kill. Why only Naruto??? Why not Naruto and Sakura???

Pink cherry Queen doesn’t even crossed Sasuke’s mind.  Because he already threw her away in part 1. 

MOMENT 2

Alright Bitch!!! The entire shinobi alliance was dying on the other side of the battlefield. And this asshole is doing a clownshow before Madara just to get inside Sasuke’s pants????

I mean, Come On!!!! 

Well, if Sasuke truly likes her, he should be the one to have catched her or atleast should have asked her, ‘are you alright??’ 

I am sorry, where are the romantic feelings???

MOMENT 3

ROFLLLL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

For the first time, Kishimoto is trolling those Sakutards through Sasuke’s words, what we, readers were right about all along. He is calling her useless here. And still these fake feminazis trying to ship her with him???

Don’t you guys have any self respect??? If so, this should be the moment to jump out of this trash ship.

MOMENT 4

Geez!!! You are still on this ship????? 

He clearly doesn’t want to save her at all. The hawk can clearly lift 3 people. Sasuke is not even making an effort here. 

And you are still yapping that he is blinded by darkness??? 

MOMENT 5

This is the moment SS calls it as ‘eyesmex’... While in reality, he was just looking at her and silently thanking her for helping him out. Do you know what is a real ‘eyesmex’??? I will attach it at the end.

If you guys pull this as true love, then he should have stayed in the same love till the end. But Sasuke has other ideas. 

This is the one of the funniest thing in this arc. LOLLLLL

Instead of being relieved that Sakura was saved, Sasuke was wondering about Kakashi’s Susanoo.....and Sharingan. 

Do people still think he cares about her????

MOMENT 6

Am cackling here, while dissecting the sorry state of this ship guys 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!! If something good happens to me because of SS , it’s just the way you guys are making me laugh by making a clown out of yourself!!!!

Do you guys know something? There was a man named Itachi. Before massacring his clan, the very first person he killed was his ‘supposed’ Girlfriend, named Izumi. I wouldn’t say Itachi loved her like a lover boy. It was just one sided on her part. He just talks to her when he finds a spare time and considers her a good friend. 

Do you know how he killed her? 

By putting her in a ‘Tsukuyomi’. And what kind of Tsukuyomi, you ask?

Can you see how he fulfilled her dreams gracefully before he was going to kill her???

Why didn’t Sasuke do this???? Why particularly select a murdering genjutsu????

MOMENT 7

He said it, finally.

He don’t love her at all. There was no hidden feelings. He admitted from his own mouth. 

One day later, after the final VoTE battle ends.... After exchanging some intense feelings and even crying tears of happiness with Naruto....

Sasuke tells Sakura, ‘Sorry’....

Ummm.... That’s all???

All those negative shits happened before cannot be solved by just simply saying ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank you’. If someone has an ounce of self-respect, they should know this is not OKAY at all...🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

Am Sorry, but Sasuke was just being politely blunt, kind of insincere towards Sakura and turned his attention somewhere else in a matter of minutes. He was not even bothered by Sakura’s tears here. Instead staring at someone on his left. Remember I talked about touching the person physically and visually?

Sasuke is subconsciously or purposefully touching someone on his left through his eyes. Definitely it’s not Sakura. You know who it is. Remember SStards’ infamous ‘eyesmex’... I seriously believe this is a perfect example of ‘eyesmex’.

All these intense looks and feeling pain still doesn’t serve Sakura, even after pulled out of darkness. If there is a moment, where SS wants to shine, then this is where it should be. He should have told her, how he missed her all along, how he felt about hurting her, should have wiped her tears and some corny shit. But instead, Sasuke went for a long ass monologue for his friend and talking about sharing his pain. 

What about your kween’s pain???? 

You don’t have to ship SNS. But you should know where Sasuke’s priorities are. 

It’s not Sakura. 

Sasuke said ‘Sorry’ to Karin too. ‘Thank you’ to Kakashi as well. 

And what’s even more pathetic is, still Sakura wants to get inside Sasuke’s pants by accompanying him. Bitch, you can help your village, console your best friend Ino who lost her father, try to surpass Tsunade, improve your skills or whatever... Why bother him???

So, if you really think ‘Thank you’ as a token of love, then I can’t help it but term Sakura as a rabid dog who waits for her master to come home and throw some bones whenever he finds time. Your standards for a romantic love is piss poor and you will suffer just like Sakura in Boruto with just emptiness. All Sasuke did was poke her forehead just like Itachi which symbolizes keeping someone at a distance. He also said the same words to her just like Itachi said to him many times ‘Mata kondo da’ meaning ‘Maybe next time’. And we all knew that next time never came for Sasuke. 

Now all we see is a Sasuke as an absentee father in Boruto for which I don’t blame him. He was never a marriage material in the first place. Sakura and the Manga Editors forced him and she is paying for it. 

Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP.

All I want to say to SS shippers is, Your Ship Has Sailed Already. You cannot expect Sasuke to go lovey dovey towards Sakura with a 12 year old daughter around and for fuck’s sake, this is not a romance manga, it’s a battle manga. So stop dreaming about this kind of non-existential romance and pull yourself altogether.

[gogglor]

Cap-Ironman RecWeek: What-If Wednesday

Time for another installment of @cap-ironman rec week! Today’s theme: AU’s.

I know AU’s in different settings are half the reason most people read fanfics, but they’re not really my thing on the whole. AU’s where different choices are made, or different events transpire? Absolutely. Coffee shops? Not my cup of... you know.

So, here’s my AU recommendations for mostly “turn left” scenarios. This time with an under-the-cut break so I don’t take over everyone’s timelines (sorry about that last post). Also with some summaries truncated for length.

Alone Like This

Author: GotTheSilver

Word Count: 7,452

Summary: Steve, post waking up, runs away from SHIELD, and Tony's the one who tracks him down.

Why You Should Read It:

First off, GotTheSilver’s been consistently and regularly putting out solid Stony since 2012 and not only are they not stopping, they’re only getting better. This writer doesn’t get nearly the fanfare I’d expect in Stony circles for someone who puts out this much good stuff, and here’s hoping this post can be a part of changing that.

While I am always a sucker for enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, there’s something to be said for stories where Steve and Tony hit it off right away. And watching these two very different people look at each other and see the same sense of being lost, then finding each other again is... excuse me, there’s something in my eye, ignore me.

Second Chance Lives

Author: raeldaza

Word Count: 43,872

Summary: Tony's gonna die of palladium poisoning anyway, why not join a pointless expedition to recover Captain America’s body? And after, well, why not dedicate his last few months to making sure an American hero settles into his new life? What else is he going to do, get drunk at parties?

Why You Should Read It:

This writer doesn’t write a lot for the MCU but when they do, dang.

“Tony is the one helping Steve acclimate to the new century before Avengers 2012″ is a whole genre of Stony fanfics that scratch an itch I didn’t even know I had before I started reading fanfiction, and this is one of the best ones out there. It’s got it all - Steve poorly coping with his PTSD, Tony poorly coping with his immanent mortality, some breathtakingly poor communication between the two most emotionally stunted men in the MCU, and a cat named Roomba. What’s not to love?

Should You Choose to Accept It

Author: elwenyere (look, you’re gonna be seeing a lot of them this week, sorry-not-sorry)

Word Count: 27,106

Summary: After a terrorist attack and a field operation gone wrong, the Avengers realize that Nick Fury's secrets are just the start of a much bigger mystery. Steve and Tony try to keep some things from each other as well, but that can't possibly affect the mission — right? Mission Fic + Getting Together (or Mission: Getting Together) that mashes up elements from Iron Man 3, CA: Winter Soldier, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season one, and Mission Impossible 3.

Why You Should Read It:

You can see my post yesterday for singing El’s praises, but what I really liked about this fic was how how damn creative it is. The CAWS/IM3/AOS mashup is everything I wished the actual MCU gave us and more, with well-developed characters and an exciting story to put them in. And because it’s El, you know the banter’s gonna be on point, the way the characters care for each other is gonna be emotionally constipated but touching, and the pacing’s gonna be exciting enough to draw you in and keep you there. Also, this fic doesn’t have nearly enough kudos so please go read it and fix that or I’m gonna have to try to hack AO3 and that’ll just be embarrassing for all parties involved.

What Happens In Vegas

Author: sabremc

Word Count: 161,951

Summary: “What the hell, Tony?” Rhodey demanded brusquely.  Tony winced and drew the phone away from his ear.  “You’ve got cops and Feds all over the hotel.  I’m watching you perp walk out of the police station on repeat on CNN.  They’re saying you tried to bribe Stern?  Fox News has you selling weapons on the black market, and God that picture they’re using is the one from Bali in ’09.   You look like shit.  They wheeled Stern out and put him in an ambulance, by the way.  Got some paparazzi swearing you decked the guy.  Now they’ve got ‘copters following it like he’s OJ.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, Sourpatch, I’ve got it covered.   Uh, though, I should probably tell you that, purely in the interests of national security and the greater good, I kind of had to fake marry that stripper-gram  you sent.  Thanks for that, by the way,” Tony added quickly.

Why You Should Read It:

If you’re deep enough into Stony to see posts like this on Tumblr, you probably know sabre’s what we in the business call a “big name author.” They’re prolific, they’re popular, and most importantly, they write words good (technical term). Seriously, sabre just keeps cranking out high quality stuff over and over again, raising the bar for the rest of us like a jerk (not really. I’m not bitter they write stuff so good I wish I’d thought of it first. Not at all.)

I never read stripper!Steve or stripper!Tony as a rule, but this came so widely recommended that I broke that rule and boy am I glad that I did. This is also the only fic on this list that’s a true-AU, with Steve being a non-powered vet from Afghanistan who left his army career to help Bucky and is stripping in Vegas to raise money for a prosthetic arm. He’s booked to do a private show for Tony, shenanigans ensue, and now they’re fake-married. This fic’s got some top-of-the-line banter and character development, but I particularly love it for its rich setting. Sabre paints a Vegas not just with strip clubs and blackjack tables, but KISS-themed minigolf, romantic dinners on the Eiffel tower, gaudy hotel lobbies, and making out on giant ferris wheels. It’s such a richly developed playground for the characters to play on, and through it, Steve manages to find a life for himself he’d given up on, and Tony finds multiple ways to show his kindness and depth of feeling for Steve. I know the word count’s long for this one but trust me, you’ve gotta read this fic.

Wait & Sea

Author: Lenalena

Word Count: 53,244

Summary: In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

Why You Should Read It:

This one’s old and popular enough to be considered one of the “classic” Stony fics, and for good reason. Lenalena doesn’t write too often and not as much as they used to, but the fics they have up there are an absolute delight.

This is another fic that I skipped a bunch of times for being outside my comfort zone, but when I finally read it I saw why everyone’s so wild about it. In this story, Steve’s defrosted a bit earlier and not revealed as Captain America. He and Tony are sent undercover to sniff out Hydra shenanigans on a cruise and, because it’s fanfiction, they’ve got to pretend to be a married couple while onboard. There’s tons to love about this fic, but the things that bring me back to reading it over and over is first, Tony’s kindness and the way he’s attuned to Steve’s feelings, which... God, just inject “kind, observant Tony” straight into my veins, please and thank you. This is also another really rich setting for a story, and Lena knows how to fold the the hokeyness of the cruise into the seriousness of the mission and the depth of feelings Steve and Tony are finding for each other in a really beautiful, layered way. It’s funny, it’s heartfelt, it’s steamy, it’s gripping... why are you still reading this here? Go check it out for yourself!

Ashes to Ashes

Author: dirigibleplumbing

Word Count: 51,582

Summary: After regrouping following some surprise time travel, the world's heroes and sorcerers come up with a plan to protect the Mind and Time Stones by taking them into space in opposite directions. The result involves a lot more time loops than Steve would like, but at least they're getting a second chance to stop Thanos. (As well as a third, and a fourth...) And if Steve takes the opportunity to try to reconcile with Tony, too—well, they have the time, and Steve's going to make the most of it.

Why You Should Read It:

Dirigibleplumbing’s another name in Stony fanfics that does not get nearly as much fanfare as they deserve. They’re consistently a really creative voice in Stony fanfics and I always look forward to their stories showing me something new. Go read all their fics, I need more people to geek out with me over them.

I tend to limit myself on Steve-and-Tony-mend-things-after-Civil-War fics not because they’re not good, but because they’re so heavy, and also the Sokovia Accords have five hundred layers of crap in them that no good fic could possibly hash out well. This one, though? When you add in the Infinity War/End Game fixit? Poetry. Art. Music to my ears. DP wrote a really engaging, twisty story where it’s hard to predict what’s coming next, in spite of it literally being a pseudo-Groundhog day scenario. The characterizations are great, the story is engaging, and the feelings are big and sad and eventually happy. Go read it, you’ll love it.

I have tons of other recs for this category but this seems like a good place to stop for today. Tomorrow’s Alternative Media Thursday, and I’ve got some real gems I’ve been saving for that day (aaaaand possibly a self-rec or two ;)

[tothemeadow]

For day 6, may I request Tengen 👀?

Hello! May I please ask for day 6 w tengen? Particularly the biting 👀 thank you!!!

Day 6: angry/hate fucking / hair pulling / biting

warnings: NSFW, slight degradation, spanking

words: 2,061

(a/n): art is not mine, female reader

What Tengen wants, Tengen gets.

There’s no room for argument. It’s pointless, really, since he can either chuck the person or scream in their face. There’s only two people that don’t fit into this category: Oyakata-sama, and you. Granted, he respects his leader with all of his being. But you, on the other hand, are as stubborn as it gets.

Frankly, you piss him off and vice versa. The two of butt heads on a regular basis; typically, when at a Pillar meeting, Gyomei or Kyojuro have to sit between you two. Sure, you get along with everyone else, but Tengen? Fat fucking chance.

He teases you relentlessly, trying at every chance he can to get a rise out of you. He finds it absolutely hilarious when your face scrunches into an angry expression. However, knowing that he finds enjoyment in this, you keep a stoic expression around him constantly. Every little jab gets turned away, every innuendo gets scoffed at. The stick up your ass needs to be pulled out, in his opinion. If he wanted to hang out with someone who’s a wet blanket, he’d stick around Giyuu.

So, how the two of you were put on a mission together, he has no fucking clue.

Traveling together is a big no-no. The two of you argued the entire time about every single thing: where to go, how to deal with the demon, what’s the game plan, etc. Which, in itself, yeah, a lot of people would argue over that. But, as it’s always the same case with you two, nothing can go smoothly.

“For the gods’ sakes, Uzui, let’s just find a hotel for the night,” you sigh, rolling your eyes. The lack of a proper formality with his surname makes his blood boil.

“And do what? Share a room with you? No thanks. I’ll pass.”

You click your tongue in irritation. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your pussy ass wanted to stay outside all night. Suit yourself, meathead. I’m going to stay somewhere nice and dry.”

Tengen glances around at the surrounding buildings of the small town. It’s said that a demon is lurking outside its perimeters, settling in the woods between this town and the next. There’s still quite a bit of distance to travel, but you’re set on finding a place to stay for the night. Tengen mutters to himself, saying how positively infuriating you are, but he follows you nonetheless.

The hotel you find is a clean, one story building. Multiple lanterns fill up the lobby, cast a warm, welcoming glow on the little old lady sitting at the front table. Tengen watches as you step up to her, a pleasant smile on your face. For a split second, Tengen wonders if he could ever get you to smile at him like that. It’s a loss cause, but the hope is still there.

“Oh, is this your husband?” the elderly woman asks.

Tengen snaps to attention, his whole body going rigid.

You chuckle awkwardly. “Well, uh…”

Quickly stepping forward, Tengen relaxes and throws an arm over your shoulders. “I sure am, miss,” Tengen says, a charming smile spreading across his face. The elderly woman visibly swoons. “In fact, we’re on our honeymoon right now.” The elderly woman gasps in delight while you merely gawk up at him. Tengen turns to you with a mischievous smirk.

“Oh, my!” the elderly woman chirps. “Congratulations! What a fine groom you have, dear,” she says to you. “You two certainly make for an attractive couple.”

Tengen layers on the charm. “You think so? I must say thank you, miss. I truly am blessed to have such a beautiful woman in my life.”

You stiffen under his beefy arm. “That’s right,” you say awkwardly. “We just wed a few nights ago. We’re traveling somewhat before settling down.”

The elderly woman waves her small hands dismissively. “No need to explain, dear! I get it, you two want time alone.” She flashes you a sly smile. “Would you be interested in the honeymoon suite? It comes with a private hot spring.”

“We’ll take it,” Tengen quickly interjects before you can say anything. You send him a deathly stare.

Soon enough, the elderly woman guides you to the proper room and waves you off with a sweet goodnight. As soon as she disappears, you reel around, your fist slamming into Tengen’s arm.

“What the fuck was that?”

The pleasant smile Tengen wore (for the hostess, of course) rapidly fell. “You wanted to stay in a hotel, remember? Might as well get a room where we can sleep further apart.”

“Oh. My. Gods, Uzui! Are you blind? There’s only one futon!” you screech. “I am not sleeping with you!”

Tengen scoffs, a neatly groomed eyebrow cocking itself. “I’m sorry; didn’t you call me a pussy ass earlier for not wanting to do anything with you? Did I not just score us the best room in this entire hotel? And at a discount, if I may add.” He crosses his thick arms over his chest. “I’d be saying thank you, sweetheart. Sleep outside for all I care.”

You bristle at him. “You’re such an arrogant bastard. Gods, I could choke you right now.”

“I dare you.”

“Bite me, Uzui,” you snip. Turning away, you shrug your haori off and remove your blade from your hip. You set them off to the side, careful with how you handle them. Glancing over your shoulder, you notice how Tengen hasn’t moved. He hasn’t said anything in return, either. Oh well. You prefer him being silent any day.

“Stop calling me that,” Tengen murmurs.

You turn to him fully and raise your brows. “I’m sorry?”

“Stop calling me Uzui,” Tengen snarls.

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings?” you taunt. “Get over it, Uzui.”

Everything happens in a flash; one moment, you’re standing away from him; the next, you’re on the floor beneath him, your hands and knees digging into the tatami. Tengen’s thick fingers and tangled in your hair, forcibly yanking your head back. You blink frantically, wondering how the actual hell you ended up in this position.

“You wanna say that again, sweetheart?” Tengen growls. Leaning over your smaller frame, he presses his back into you, his crotch meeting your ass.

“Let me go,” you snap. “I’m not in the mood for this crap.” You yelp as Tengen pulls tighter on your hair.

“Apologize.”

“For what?” you spit. “It’s not my fault that you’re sensitive.”

“And it’s not my fault that you’re a raging bitch.”

You scoff underneath him. “Just- Fuck, just let me go, okay?” Although your mind is clearly wanting him to get off of you, your body is saying other things. You involuntarily shiver as Tengen brushes his lips against your ear.

“Call me crazy… But I think you like me being on you this way,” Tengen taunts. He quickly nips at your earlobe, eliciting a sharp inhale from you. “You want me, don’t you?” Tengen huffs a laugh. “At least your body does, anyway.”

You don’t have the heart to tell him no. And, if you’re being brutally honest, it’d be a lie. You cannot pretend that your back isn’t arching, your ass pushing against his crotch, the heavy pants coming from your mouth. It’s obvious to the two of you that you clearly want him. It’s only a matter of admitting it.

You bite your lip as Tengen pulls away. You force your nerves to steel themselves as a large hand caresses your ass through your hakama, the fingers drumming against the plump flesh. You should’ve have seen it coming, really – the sharp smack as his hand meets your asscheek harshly. You jolt with the movement, your palms brushing against the rough surface of the tatami.

“Count to ten,” Tengen says. His voice is icy, his usual playfulness completely gone. Your breath hitches in your throat as he spanks you again. “I said to count.”

“Fuck, okay,” you squeak. “O-one.”

He spanks you again. You jolt.

“Two…”

You try to keep your sounds to a minimum as he continues to bring a hand down on your ass. You force yourself to stay upright, no matter how bad the friction is burning your hands. You count along with each spank, your voice growing more and more hoarse with each number you speak.

“These damn things- Take them off,” Tengen spits. He frantically undoes your belt and pulls your hakama off, your tabi following straight after. He practically tears your undergarments into pieces as he rips them off, leaving you completely bare from the waist down. His hand caresses the same asscheek he spanked, his fingers kneading at the stinging flesh. “You ready to say my name yet, sweetheart?”

You keen as he grips on your hair once more; heat floods your lower belly, coils around your insides. A gasp leaves your lips as he presses your face and chest against the floor, your ass hanging in the air. Slick coats the insides of your thighs, and you know for a fact that Tengen’s staring straight at your pussy. A finger scoops up the slick covering your inner thigh and promptly pushes it back inside.

“You’re fucking soaking wet,” Tengen purrs. “Why won’t you look at that.”

He’s not a single ounce gentle as he thrusts his finger into you. Your cunt easily sucks him all the way to the second knuckle, causing the both of you to groan simultaneously. A second finger joins the first, then a third. His fingers fuck into you relentlessly, curling against your velvety walls and seeking out your most sensitive spot.

“Tengen,” you mewl, your hips shifting backwards. “That feels good.”

Tengen scoffs. “Funny how you only comply when your cunt’s stuffed with something.” You hear the shuffling of clothing, then something hard press against your slit. “Pathetic. You only want me for my cock, huh? Dirty whore. You should see yourself – your cunt is begging for me to fuck it.”

Gritting your teeth, you grind back against him. The head of his cock slips inside, replacing where his fingers used to be. A high-pitched whine fills the room; Tengen yanks on your hair even harder, pulling you off your hands and solely onto your knees. His cock drives in deeper, leaves you gasping and keening.

“Fuck, sweetheart, your dirty little pussy is so tight,” Tengen growls into your ear. “I’ll fuck it straight into your mind, you got it? My name is Tengen. It’s Tengen’s cock that’s stuffing you. Call me Uzui again and you won’t cum.”

“Oh gods, Tengen,” you moan, frantically reaching behind and grabbing onto any part of him you can find. You cry out as his teeth sinks into you neck; he fucks into you with a fast, merciless pace. Squeezing your eyes shut, you lose yourself in the feeling.

Your scalp burns, along with your neck. Tengen leaves marks up and down your neck, the imprint of his teeth feeling especially raw. The hand in your hair keeps you in place while the other slips between your legs, finding your clit and pinching it. Animalistic sounds erupt from your throat as he plays with you, fucks you with vigor, treats you like a personal chew toy. His name leaves your lips in a mantra. Everything is so hot and good and fuck his cock is pressing up against your cervix and you’re reaching cloud nine-

The knot inside your belly snaps. You cry out as you cum around his cock, your breath getting stuck in your throat. Tengen continues to fuck you through your orgasm, his own moans intermingling with yours. Soon enough, his thrusts turn erratic; he fucks into you messily, his pants reaching your ears. A sexy grunt of your name graces the air as he cums. A mixture of slick and cum spews out around his cock as he rides his orgasm out.

“Fuck,” he says as he finally pulls out. Sitting himself on the floor, he tugs you along so that you’re on his lap. He flicks damp strands of silvery hair from his forehead. “You good, sweetheart?”

Looking to him, you bite your lip. “You’re such an asshole, Tengen.” You loop your arms around his neck. “Take me to the hot spring.”

The corners of his mouth twitch into a smile. “Your wish is my command, sweetheart.”

[thesmokingguns]

Wendy and The Lost Boys

CHAPTER FOUR

WARNINGS: Mentions of smoking and drinking, there is sexual content so please be 18+

Tommy was twirling his drumsticks backstage getting ready to go on stage for the Halloween show. They were playing with Ratt at the Solari Ballroom and were supposed to go on in five minutes. The band had all dressed up as vampires for the set. Tommy peaked out and saw the place was packed. He felt a hand on his shoulder turning to see Nikki smirking at him. They headed on stage cheers rising up. The amount of chicks that were filling the club in their little costumes. It was going to be a hell of an after party.

Nikki saw the bunny ears and smirked knowing exactly what that girl would be wearing. He watched the ears bob to the front of the crowd bouncing along to the music and missed a fucking note when he saw Sasha, tits pushed up and almost spilling out of the Playboy bunny suit she was wearing. She looked exactly like one of his dirty dreams but she was there in person. Her blue eyes landed on him and the way she smiled made him almost fall off the stage. How the fuck did she look so good? Was it because he wasn’t seeing her everyday anymore? He watched her singing along to the music, her blonde hair shaking to the beat. If she kept moving like that she was going to pour right out of her top. As much as Nikki wanted to see that he didn’t want anyone else to see it. He said a silent thank you when she seemed to notice and tugged that tighter than life outfit up the half inch it could go. She still was pouring out of that top land he couldn’t focus on the set at all watching her dance in front of him like that

When they finished up playing Nikki wanted to yank her out of the audience but she was headed to the bar, her bunny tail shaking along with her, before he could grab her. It was like everything he was thinking she was already one step ahead of. He quickly headed into the crowd, trying to avoid the crowds of girls that all seemed to want to talk to him. Sasha turned a glass of Jack Daniels in her hand that she handed to him. Nikki was surprised but thankful as he slammed the liquid back in two burning gulps.

“Do I look like a magazine cover?” She asked him with a teasing smile on her face as he set the empty glass along the bar, nodding to the bartender that he wanted a refill. His hand was on her hip pulling her closer to him so she could talk to her without anyone hearing their conversation. Her long eyelashes swooping to look down at his hand and back up into his green eyes nearly knocked Nikki on his ass. What was it about her tonight that was making him so crazy?

“Why do you have to be the biggest tease? Don’t you know hard it is already without you putting in any effort?” He asked her, he felt her hand on his cheek and knew she was going to take the cigarette behind his ear. She smirked as she plucked it from him, Sixx opened the lighter for her, moving back and breaking the contact he had on her. “I like your costume but you know I’m a Hustler guy. I’m all about full nudity.” He threw back the comment from a couple months ago, watching the way that she smirked up at him. Sasha leaned in her lips kissing his earlobe with each word she spoke.

“I’m a Hustler girl in bed. You can ask my boyfriend about it later.” Her voice was like velvet and razorblades as she delivered the burn to him. At the mention of her having a boyfriend Nikki frowned. She flicked her ashes turning back to look through the crowd.

“What are you talking about?” He was getting angry with her comment. She didn’t respond to him, only finished her drink, taking a drag of the cigarette she had stolen from him. Nikki was getting riled up way earlier in the night than she had expected him to. “Do you hear me or am I talking to-“ he stopped talking when this blonde guy walked over wrapping Sasha up in his arms and giving her a kiss. And not her usual peck on the cheek she’d greet some of the guys with but she leaned into his arms kissing him deeper than Nikki wanted her to kiss anyone.

“Sugar Pie, I couldn’t find you during the show.” His hand stayed on her hip where the bassist had been holding a moment before. He wanted to know who this stranger was and why he thought he could walk up to Sasha like this. “Let me buy you a drink, sugar pie.” The guy didn’t even seem to notice Nikki standing there as he ordered her a drink handing it to the blonde girl with a smile on his face that the bassist was thinking about punching, “Are you going to say hello to your brother before we leave for the party?” Nikki was watching her face that she has masked in this perky smile despite her blue eyes being bored with this person.

“Yeah, Cherry Pie, why don’t you come backstage and say hello to Tommy.” Nikki butted in coming up with his own spin on the nickname the man had been using for her. She gave Nikki a pointed look making his smirk just widen knowing that the nickname had done it’s damage. The guy, who she had obviously come with, turned looking at the bassist like he was just realizing that he was standing there.

“OH! You just played.” He said nodding his head like he was understanding who he was standing with now, “Not my favorite music but you guys are a good club band. I could see you doing some of the Top 40’s with your chick singer. She was great.” The guy tucked a hand in his khakis before wrapping his arm around Sasha who had the biggest shit eating grin on her face as Nikki fumed at what the prick had just said to him. Be should punch that fucking asshole right in his mouth. They were already walking away, her little bunny tail shaking with each step she took. She turned to look at him over her shoulder and mouthed ‘club band’ before making herself laugh so hard she leaned against the blonde man.

Sasha was sitting backstage, perched on the side of the couch, her legs draped effortlessly between the college preps legs. His name was Len, short for Leonard which was the stupidest name Nikki should think of. Nikki couldn’t stop looking at the dumb bunny tail that would shake when she laughed. It had been two months of college for Sasha and he could see the way that she was changing. Nikki wasn’t sure that he liked seeing all the changes.

“Sugar Pie, we should get going now. The party has already started and I still need to pick up the keg for the house.” She looked down at the man on the couch who was staring up at her like a lost puppy dog.

“Why don’t you head over there, Len? It’s Friday night and I haven’t had any time to spend with my brother. I’ll take a taxi over later.” She didn’t really give him any room to argue as she moved her legs for him to stand up. The boy was flustered but tilted her head back letting him kiss her. The way her cherry lips attached to his, turning his mouth the same color as her lipstick had the boy flustered when he pulled away. Nikki watched her swipe her lip over her top lip and the guy swallowed. That fucking guy couldn’t handle her. He left shaken and the smile on her face was bright. With him gone the first thing Nikki did was slide across the couch so he took the man's spot.

“You’re not really dating him, right?” Vince asked, squeezing the bunny tail as he passed with a look of pure delight on his face at her costume, “That’s a real playmate costume.” She rolled her eyes at the lead singer. Leave it to Vince to be able to tell just from squeezing her tail that she was in the actual Playboy suit.

“He’s in the Frat that my sorority is close to. We’ve been out a lot together.” She shrugged her shoulders, her feet slipped between Nikki’s legs, one of her ankles resting on his left knee. He sat back, his hand sliding to rest on her ankle. He did it casually so it didn’t look like he was freaking out like he was inside. Fucking Sasha and her easy going nature were throwing the bassist off so much tonight he felt like he was in a fog, “And I got a job as a waitress at the Playboy club which is why I’m in uniform. So I have a favor to ask you.” She plucked the cigarette out of Nikki’s mouth that he had just lit to keep his mind off whatever game she was playing. “I work late a few nights and I don’t want to have to go back up to school so can I crash on the couch a couple nights a week?” She looked at Tommy who was already jumping up picking her up and spinning her around. The energy the drummer had at all times was absolutely insane. He woke up going 100 miles an hour like he was now.

“HELL FUCKING YEAH! You’re going to be back on the Strip with us!” He set her down watching the way she smiled at him, she had called a few nights from school and she wasn’t sleeping. He was sure she took the job in hopes of getting a couple hours of sleep a night, “I can walk you back too. That way you’re not out late by yourself because mom would kill me.” Sasha looked past Tommy to where Nikki was sitting on the couch watching her.

“Good. Can I sleep over tonight?” Her eyes didn’t leave Nikki’s and he looked away grabbing the bottle of Jack off the table. Something was almost aggressive about her tonight and Nikki needed to make sure he stayed ahead of whatever was going on. Which was going to be very hard because she was literally dressed like his fantasy.

“Of course!” Tommy didn’t seem to see the exchange between her and the bassist. Or if he did he knew better than to comment on it.

“Won’t your boyfriend get mad about you not going to the Frat party?” Nikki asked from the couch, he was grumpy like Mick usually was, and she knew it was because of her. Sasha smirked knowing her plan of making him jealous was working.

“I said we went out a few times. So he’s not really my boyfriend. Are you guys going out or back to the apartment for an after party?” She turned to Tommy as she swatted Vince’s hands away from her bunny tail he was trying to squeeze again. “Down, boy.” She teased giving the singer a look that made Nikki stand up.

“Apartment. Let’s go.” His hand was on her upper arm already dragging her out. He tried to put his leather jacket over her shoulders to cover her but she kept shrugging it off. “It’s cold.” He commented as a car drove past catcalling and whistling. When she blew them a kiss he turned to give Tommy a look for some support but the drummer was just laughing.

“Stop walking so fast.” She complained, pulling her arm out of Nikki’s and falling back a few paces. Vince squeezed the tail again. “Stop.” She smacked his hands away watching him smirk at her as the boys all got ahead of her. They were all idiots, she decided watching the way Tommy ran with Vince through traffic to a group of girls across the street. They were probably going to spread word about a party that was BYOB so they wouldn’t have to buy anything.

Sasha’s high heels clicked against the concrete as she walked and she shivered wishing she hadn’t been trying to make Nikki jealous of people looking at her. She could use his coat now that they had been walking for a few minutes. She looked up seeing the bassist waiting for her on the corner. Sasha reached out her hand smirking when he laced their fingers together and turned into the street. Nikki had slowed his pace, realizing she was teetering in the high heels. She leaned into him, her skin cold.

“You’re really working at the Playboy club?” He asked as they headed up the stairs. The way her hips swung side to side he could see why Vince had a hard time keeping his hands off her bunny tail. Sasha nodded her head, moving to the window that was open about an inch. She was glad that they had made it back to the apartment first. She wanted to sit down without hearing a thousand people talking over each other. “Aren’t you worried about what people might think?” He asked as she stepped inside. Sasha looked up at him, confused.

“What would anyone think of me being a waitress?” She asked him. Nikki didn’t want to say it was him that was worried. All the men that went to those clubs and her in that little costume of hers, spilling out so that eyes didn’t want to leave her. She could see his eyes on her outfit and she nodded her head in understanding. “Well, I’m wearing more than what Tommy wears on stage and I’m making more money in tips than you probably made for the show tonight.” He didn’t mean to offend her but there was this annoyance in her voice.

“I have vodka!” They both turned to see Tommy coming in the window, followed by a group of people all trying to push their way through. “Take shots with me.” He was pulling her into the kitchen, both of them laughing like little kids.

Nikki watched her all night only losing sight of her when his head was down to snort a line. She had been practically glued to Tommy’s side. They called him and the drummer the terror twins but the way that Sasha and T-Bone were together was even worse. They took turns pouring vodka down each other’s throats like water, they had set fire to the carpet when she pointed out a cockroach, and she was this wingwoman for him having girls feel comfortable around him so he could pull three girls at a time in his room- which he was sneaking away to do now. But as soon as Tommy left her she was swarmed by guys and he could see she fucking loved it.

He watched the way she would pull a cigarette from her pack and how they would light it for her. This party trick never ceases to make her laugh. At one point she was looking for a place to sit and someone had lifted her up setting her on the counter. Nikki had almost dove across the room when he put his hands on her. But he knew better. He was going to keep his distance because there was no way she was going to do something bad. He was able to contain it until some fucking guy leaned in whispering in her ear. He could see the pink blush sliding over her cheeks and only could imagine what he was saying. She wrapped her arms around the man's neck letting him lift her down from the counter and letting him lead her to his fucking room. Nikki was to them before they even had a chance to turn the doorknob.

“Get the fuck out.” He warned the guy. The man turned stunned to see Nikki standing there but the bassist wasn’t in the mood, “In the room, Angel.” he told the girl watching as she pulled away from the man and opened the door to Nikki’s room.

“I know her from school-”

“I’m not going to ask you again to get out of my apartment. If I need to make you leave it’s going to be a real problem for you.” Nikki warned. He could see the kid calculating the words being spoken to him. In the end the kid left and Nikki opened the door to his room.

Sasha didn’t bother to turn to look at him. She had her back to him, her hands tracing over his bureau. She had kicked off her shoes leaving them in the middle of the floor for Nikki to trip on when he woke up in the morning. Sasha had been around Nikki enough to know when he was angry and she had been pushing all of his buttons tonight. The sound of his door locking and the soft scraping of his chair against the rug to go under the handle made her heart catch in her throat. She could feel him behind her, close enough that the warmth of his body was radiating against her. His hands were on her leg sliding up the tights, chuckling deeply as he flicked the bunny tail, her hands still moved up, over the curve of her hips to the small of her waist where he squeezed as if realizing for the first time how slim she was, before moving up again.

Nikki wanted her. All the teasing and flirting with other men. Seeing her parading around in the bunny costume, kissing boys, the hands of men reaching out to get a touch of her had been driving him crazy. Then she had the audacity to try and take another man into his room. It was too much for him to take. He tugged down the zipper, without a word, letting the tight costume come loose from her body. She didn’t say anything, just stepped out of the outfit, watching as he reached out her to lay it flat on his bureau.

Sasha licked her lips, his hands were moving to her tights and panties that he rolled off herin one careful motion, laying them on top of her costume. The fluttering feeling was in her stomach and she could feel this weight between her legs of warmth as she thought about what was going to come next. Nikki turned her around, his eyes taking in the fully naked girl in front of him. Her tits perky with pink nipples already pointed, just begging for his mouth to suckle them. He wanted to leave purple hickeys all over her, marking every inch of Sasha as off limits to anyone but him. She was watching him take her in, her blue eyes curious as to what he was going to do with her now that he had her naked.

“I didn’t like you bringing a boyfriend to a show.” he told her, watching the way she rolled her eyes at him, “It’s not funny, angel. I’m not laughing. I’m not smiling. It’s not a fucking game.” he didn’t like how she was just looking at him smiling. Sasha reached out, her fingers stroking his cheek, her simile widening as NIkki’s eyes closed and he pressed his face into her hand. He was getting right to where she had wanted him to be.

“It has to be a game with you, Nikki. You don’t want to date me because you refuse to be serious with anyone. So it’s like a game of cat and mouse.” her nails scratched at his face softly, “Gotcha.” she whispered, making his green eyes flash open. He had played right into her hands. She had done everything to make him jealous and make it to this moment in time. Now that she was naked in front of him, the emotions rising all night what was he supposed to do.

“No one is going to win this game.” he warned her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was going to end up hurt and Nikki liked her too much for that to happen. Sasha shrugged her shoulders slightly.

“Why don’t you just kiss me, Sixx? Instead of reading off your warning label. I don’t want anything other than you to kiss me right now. It doesn’t have to be anymore than that.” she was lying to him and they both knew it. They both could see how they wanted each other, all of each other in that selfish way like kids who couldn’t share toys. NIkki had proved tonight that he didn't want her around anyone else. But she was giving herself to him and he was going to take it.

His hands slid to her ass lifting her up easily, letting her wrap herself around him. If she wanted to play with fire he was going to make her burn. As soon as he pressed his lips to hers in the desperate hungry kiss he felt like he was falling. It was like the first time he did drugs. The overwhelming comfort of something to get lost in. She surprised him with the wetness of her tongue exploring his mouth before he could slide his into hers. She kissed just as desperately as he felt. The feeling of her tongue round his, his teeth biting her bottom lip, pulling it closer into the kiss. How could he only have just a kiss? He pressed her against the bed, feeling her hands pulling at his clothes. Sasha didn't want anything between them. She wanted to feel Nikki against her, all of him without a barrier.

“Just the shirt.” he begged her as she went to untie his leather pants, “Just the shirt, angel. If I’m naked I won’t be able to control myself.” his mouth was trying to find hers again but she pulled away, the way she looked at him. Those blue eyes lustful and shining like stars, her lips pouting accented only from the fact he had been roughly kissing her, he was fucking screwed. He would have done anything she wanted at that point.

“Nikki, please, I just want to see all of you. I want to touch every part of you. Please, Nikki.” The way she said his name and how polite she was. He didn’t even realize he was untying his pants until they were bunched up around his ankles. “Oh my god.” It was worth it for that reaction from her. She gave him a shy blush then and he knew he needed to control himself. Sasha made room for him to come back onto the bed, her legs moving to weave with his as they continued kissing, like sloppy teenagers. His hands went to her breasts, the hiss she released, as he tugged at her nipples. She was so sensitive, bucking against him.

“You like this, angel?” he asked his thumb and pointer finger rolling her nipples, tugging at them and getting the soft throaty moans to come from her. Nikki used this opportunity to kiss along her throat. He wanted to leave little marks for that piece of shit college boy to find later. He wanted to see her tomorrow putting cover up on the marks or tying a scarf. He felt so possessive over the girl who was very much not his. He had made it clear he didn’t date and she had made it clear she still wanted this. Sasha’s hand crept up between them gripping Nikki’s hardness in her smaller hands, moving up and down  as she kissed him. Wet mouths so hunger for each other and desperate to make the night they were having to last for as long as it could. “A little faster, like this.” he moved her hand up and down his length, watching the pink of her cheeks as he bucked against her motion, NIkki was trying to open up her thighs, he wanted to dip his fingers into her honey and lick up the sweet taste of her body. But she was managing to keep her legs together despite the ache between them wanting him. Her mouth was hungry for him and greedy as she took in his taste. It was like he was made of alcohol and sorrow; it was all she could taste on his tongue and she was in love with it.

“Oh fuck, Sixx.” Sasha whimpered feeling his mouth move down, a tongue licking over one of her hard nipples. Her hips pushed forward making her moan as she pressed into the solid thigh. She was stroking him like crazy now, a puddle in his arms as they laid in the bed beside each other. Nikki could feel her wetness against his thigh and pushed his leg against her hearing her moan loudly. Thin layers of sweat were on both their bodies now. His hand moved to her back and hip, helping her grind into his thigh, the wet pussy of hers throbbing against him as he helped her ride him.

“I’m going to cum, angel, but I want you to keep riding my thigh.” she nodded weakly moving her hips like he was directing her to do. This build up in her stomach happening like nothing she felt before. To overload her senses more Nikkie was kissing her again. He was rougher now, his teeth gnashing against hers like he couldn't get enough. Their bodies mixed up buckling together as Nikki spilled himself onto her stomach, the warmth of his cum causing a gasp from her as he smiled against her lips. She sounded so surprised but the way she pressed her hips down spoke volumes to him, “Keep going, good girl.” he cooed watching her. It happened suddenly like she wasn’t sure what the hell was going on but she came, open mouth and moaned from her lips his name.

When she opened her eyes, she was gasping for breath and feeling like she was waking up from a dream. But he was there with her, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears, kissing the side of her mouth as if he knew she had just used up all her energy with him. She blushed looking at them both covered in each other.

“I would offer to go shower but there is a full party going on outside this room so all I can offer you is a tshirt to clean up with.” she nodded her head watching him get out of bed and pull a tshirt she had probably washed out of the drawer gently tossing it to her. He watched her clean up, this silence settling over them that he wasn’t sure how to break.

“We should probably try and get back to the party.” she was standing pulling on her underwear. It was obvious NIkki didn’t really know what to say or do, “I know you can’t do anything serious, Nikki, but I don’t want people thinking I’m just the chick you’re banging for the night. That’s just not who I am and it’s not who I want to be. But I’ll probably come back to sleep tonight if that’s cool.” she told him. “Maybe when you grow up, Peter Pan, I can be your Wendy.”  she teased reaching behind him to grab a t-shirt she could wear out to the party.

He let her leave the room, slightly baffled when she pulled out a beat up pair of Keds from under his be. She also stole a cigarette laughing as she waltzed out into the room of people like she had never left it. Only now he knew her differently. And she was covered in hickeys that were peeking out from where she tried to cover them with her hair. Nikki wished he wasn’t the way he was but part of him was grateful she knew that he wasn’t going to be serious about her. Even though he liked Sasha he didn’t want to disappoint her. It would save them both a lot of heartache if they just didn’t get together, he hoped; right now all he could think about was she would leave after the weekend and he didn’t know what happened at that college campus but it left his stomach turning. Nikki redressed not wanting to think about anything at the moment because for someone who usually knew what they wanted he had no fucking idea.

[the-volume-is-astronomical]

The Crown, The Sword, and The Gay

Meant To Be Good News

A/N: ... heyyyyy- its been a bit. I got rapped up in exams and i felt like being productive today so u get a chapterrrr and i wrote another one so u have about two chapters guaranteed ill try to be more consistent lol (also long chapter as compensation)

(also let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist!)

First | Previous| Next

words: 2286

summary: Virgil doesn't want to deal with this mess but he was sent to deliver a message so, theres not much he can do

pairings: eventual prinxiety, eventual intrulogical, eventual moceit, Remile

warnings: some potty language (not much), stress, anxiety, negative self talk, food mention, worried for a characters safety

(let me know if there's any other)

They went up the steps in silence.

As they entered through the door, Roman grabbed the basket that was abandoned during the argument. He left it on a table near the entrance, he headed towards the corner with shelves, grabbed a brown book, nothing interesting in the cover, just a plain brown book and headed towards the window seat to read.

Virgil was struggling to decide if he should try to speak or not, he absolutely despised small talk but if he didn't talk he didn't want it to get awkward. He looked over to Roman because if he did decide to talk to the prince, what in the hell would he even talk about?! Virgil saw the royal glance up from his book to look at the small table near all the shelves that had a single red book, it was simple like the one he was holding, it just had a title, yet it caused more intrigue than the other.

When Virgil took a good look at Roman he looked somehow defeated, like he had lost- no, given up on a 100 year long fight. The monarch glanced once more at the table with the red book, this time however, he caught a glimpse of the stormy knight, “ You should sit down, the trip back alone takes a few hours, it's gonna be some time before you get to go back.” Virgil looked up at the prince who had resumed his reading, “Uh… yeah” he took a seat near the desk Roman kept glancing at.

Virgil decided to take a glance at the book. It seemed to be a fictional adventure book...seems interesting. Roman looked at the table again and spotted the tall knight carefully opening the book. “It’s an adventure book. Just a fairytale.” Roman’s voice seemed to startle Virgil as he immediately slammed the book shut.

“Y-yeah sorry, I didn't mean to open it without permission, that was so rude of me and-” Roman stopped him mid rant “It's alright, you can read it. One of my personal favorite books.” The prince smiled at him to show he didn't mind “I’m not much of a reader. I just uh… got curious, I guess?” Virgil didn't seem sure of his answer. “Well, I can give you a small summary! If you’d like me to, of course.” Roman backtracked pretty quickly, snide comments about how excited he got over meaningless things forcing themselves into his head. But Virgil’s “Sure, Why not?” Made him a little less apprehensive.

“Ok! So, the story is focused on this boy named Aaron. He is a poor farm boy living with his family in a village that was overthrown by the guards, they became corrupted and betrayed the royal family and took control for themselves.” Virgil just nodded along.

”They treated the least wealthy of the kingdom the worst, they didn't have money to bribe them with so to them they were useless, it got to the point where they were becoming the robbers, they would never steal from people with money because they were cruel people. Aaron and his father wanted to make a change but his mother didn't want them to, she wanted to play it safe and just gather enough money to leave for a better place.”

Roman rambling about the story not realizing how little of a summary it actually was since he definitely wasn't being concise, “I agree with the mom. Her plan sounds safe and effective.” Virgil didn't really mind, at least he wasn't going to be bored while he waited, “Maybe so! But where's the fun in that, dear knight?” Roman didn't really get the knights perspective “May not be fun but at least they'll get outta there without a problem” Virgil thought he was in the right and that the main character would make stupid reckless decisions for the drama and suspense.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Aha! They went back to the mom’s plan anyway! There was literally no need to try and do all that heroic shit.” Virgil was now fully invested in the story, he probably wouldn't have been if Roman wasn’t such a good storyteller.

“Well yeah... But it was worth it! If they didn't try they would have never known the outcome of that situation.” Roman was happy the knight seemed invested, he was mostly happy because he finally got to discuss the book with someone, and that someone had very different opinions than himself.

There was a knock on the door.

They both looked at each other, It didn't feel like they had been talking for that long. So, who in the hell was at the door?

Virgil stood up, hand fidgeting with the hilt of his sword. Roman stood as well, they both walked towards the door. Virgil opened the door, only to find Ruth on the other end of the door. “Oh, it's the lady from earlier.” Virgil turned to Roman as he let her in.

“Nurse, how did you get back so quickly?” Roman spoke up. “I wouldn't say it was that quick, it's been a few hours. But we found someone along the way so that did speed up the process.” Ruth talked as she noticed the untouched basket and started nearing it.

Roman and Virgil on the other hand looked at each other with confusion. It didn't feel like they had been talking for more than half an hour. “I'm sorry, I must have been talking your ear off.” The royal felt a need to apologize, “Hey, at least you made the wait entertaining.” the knight did not deem it necessary.

Ruth turned and glared at Roman. “So, you haven't eaten?” Roman glanced at the untouched basket and cursed under his breath, he completely forgot. “ Well…” Ruth was not having it “You brat.” She walked behind him and started pushing him towards the table.

“I had an excuse!” Ruth stopped pushing him “And what is it?” Roman turned to meet her eye and said, “I get nauseous when I eat too early.” Ruth looked unimpressed “I'm fully aware Roman. But it's almost noon.” Roman’s brain scrambled for another excuse “I was reading and I lost track of time.” She was still very much unimpressed. “As long as it wasn't the book you always read, fine by me”

As Roman’s nurse made sure Roman ate she noticed Virgil standing a few feet behind them. “I wasn't able to introduce myself earlier. I am Ruth, the brat’s nurse.” She extended her hand with a smile. Virgil shook her hand while he chuckled, which was interrupted by Roman’s overdramatic offended noises. “Nurse! You’re making him think I'll be a nightmare to care for!”

Ruth turned to him “Was I supposed to lie to him and tell him you’re a delight? My apologies, sire” Roman put a hand on his chest and gasped. “Now I understand why Trent called you a witch!” Ruth laughed, “You’re just basically proving my point.” Roman could only grumble and go back to eating.

Ruth took a look around the tower and spotted the red book on a table. “I see you've decided to become a liar huh?” Roman turned to her “Whatever do you mean?” She walked towards the table and picked up the book “Seems like someone was reading the same book they always read, I don't understand why they read it if they've memorized the whole book!” Roman knew Ruth was only joking but he didn't appreciate being called a liar “I wasn't reading it this time it was just out in the open! You can ask him!”

Roman pointed at Virgil, Ruth just looked at Virgil expecting an answer, “He wasn't reading that book, he was reading the one by the window” it wasn't a lie. “You better not be covering for that devil.” Virgil noticed there wasn't any malice behind her voice, her words portrayed something different. “Are you accusing me of being a liar? I thought that was reserved for the prince.” Ruth started laughing “Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Virgil just chuckled.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman’s nurse sat next to the window, looking out worriedly. Roman knew his nurse fairly well, “Has Remy not gotten back yet?” Ruth sighed and turned “My son and his tardiness again”.

Roman went over to his nurse, giving her a hug “I’m sure he’s just a little late..” Ruth tried to smile at Roman “I know Roman. I'm just a worried old hag.” Roman rolled his eyes and sat by the window

Ruth looked out the window one last time and took a deep breath. “Well I have to get going so we get there some time before sunrise” Roman stood up to say a proper goodbye to his nurse. “See you in a few days…” Roman really didn’t want to let go but he didn't have much of a choice.

Ruth started packing what she had brought in silence, once she neared the door she spoke “Roman, his and her majesty will have to be informed about this incident..” Roman was obviously not content because this would surely somehow be put partially on him. “Yes, I understand.” Ruth smiled sympathetically and turned to the storm eyed knight only a few feet away.

“Virgil, you’ll have to stay with Roman for a while longer. Commander Arlott sure didn't expect the need to find a replacement for Trent and truly not a day after being stationed here.” Virgil just nodded, he understood the circumstances and was glad to be able to witness such a sight. “The Commander insisted it would take quite some time to take someone off their post, he insisted he wasn't worried.” Ruth opened the door ready to leave, while Virgil was just trying for the pressure to not get to him.

Ruth said her final goodbyes and exited the tower.

Virgil then turned to the Royal, who went back to the same spot he had been before Ruth arrived, and just stared out the window as his nurse left.

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As Roman sat near the big window just looking out he started wondering why Virgil had even come here in the first place. He vaguely remembered Trent mentioning him being a messenger but that could just be some Knightly insult he was unaware of. So… he asked “Virgil, if you don't mind me asking...why exactly did you come here?” Virgil looked alarmed for a second as he had just zoned out for about 20 minutes “Commander Arlott, wanted me to deliver a message to Trent” Roman just responded with a simple “Oh” and resumed his staring out the window.

“So… how did the book end?” Virgil felt a little embarrassed to interrupt the silence to ask but he got extremely invested, to the point that if the Prince refused to share the information he might just read it himself. Roman just laughed, he knew how intriguing the book was “Well… In the middle of the mother’s plan being in motion they actually got word of a rebel group that had been inspired by their attempts to take the crown back.” Virgil sat down right across from the Royal nodding for him to go on.

Roman continued speaking but he kept getting distracted by a tapping sound. At first it was nothing, but then it got so prominent he couldn't ignore it anymore. Mid-rant he stopped himself and started looking around to see where the sound could possibly be coming from.

Virgil was confused as to why the heir had stopped speaking but then he started to hear taps. They didn’t sound like just a regular forest sound and they would surely not hear minuscule noises from such a height.

“Dear knight, are you hearing that?” Virgil nodded and stood up to see what could possibly be causing the ticks, Roman stood right along with him and then suddenly pointed towards the balcony doors. “Virgil, it's coming from the balcony.”

Virgil stopped to listen carefully “Yeah, but what's causing it?” They then saw a little pebble hit the glass doors of the balcony and make the tapping they had been hearing.

Roman went to the balcony with no hesitation and opened the doors.

Virgil started having his thoughts race a mile a minute, what if this was to lure the prince out to assassinate him? If the prince died on his watch he would be hung no doubt.

As these thoughts crossed his mind, he moved forward to follow the prince. He then quickly realized the prince was leaning over the balcony having a casual conversation with his possible murderer.

“Remy, what are you doing here? Ruth is going to kill you if you don't get there by sunrise!” Roman screamed down to the man in a black cape with dark tinted glasses covering his eyes. “Well yeah! But I had to make a stop here! I have something for you!” That made Roman start jumping with anticipation as to what Remy could have brought him from his trip

“What is it Rem? Is it something fancy? Is it food? Is it a book?” Though his eyes couldn't be spotted, not only because of his glasses but due to the height, it was very apparent he rolled his eyes. “No! It's a letter.” That got Roman even more excited. Could it actually be him? Roman haven't received anything but it could actually be! Finally some good news!

“Who’s it from?!” Remy looked down at the letter as if inspecting it “I don't know.” That caused Roman’s excitement to dull immensely. He would have surely marked it. There’s still a chance it could be him, right? Roman’s anticipation quickly turned into more of an anxious feeling.

taglist:

@meowthefluffy

@shade-romeo

@pattonsmile

@sevencreepycatsinacoat

@mychemically-imbalanced-romance

@innerpostturtle

@queenof-hell

@joyrose-fandomer

@vpow

[littleoddwriter]

Hiya! Your prompt list interested me and I would like to request you a Zsaszmask story with Dialogue Prompt n°5 "I wasn't sure your remembered me". Plot: During a fight with a rival gang, Victor gets knocked out and suffered amnesia. It hurts Roman who tried everything to help him. Angst+happy ending would be nice. I am sure it will be brilliant as always! Thanks in advance and have a nice day!

Remember Me | Roman Sionis x Victor Zsasz | ZsaszMask

Hiya! <3 Thank you so much for this delightful request! It's totally run away from me, istg (it's over 4k words long, rip). I really hope you enjoy what I've done with it!

summary; see above.

notes; Angst with Happy Ending; Amnesia; Hospitals; Recovery; Mentions of Murder and Fantasies of it; Mentions of having been stabbed and shot; probably bad depiction of how hospitals and such work despite the medical dramas i've watched.

Stupid fucking rival gangs. He wished he could kill them all over again.

Stupid fucking Victor Zsasz. He was always so fucking loyal and protective.

Fucking hell!

Fuck!

Roman was fuming; his blood was still boiling, thrumming through his body in high speed, making him tremble. Although to be fair, he wasn’t entirely sure that he was only shaking because of his rage. It might have also been caused by the fear that’s settled deep into his bones.

Fear! He, Roman Beauvais Sionis, the notorious Black Mask – scared! It was laughable, really.

It would’ve been laughable if it hadn’t been for the fact that Victor’s blood was all over his clothes.

It would’ve been laughable if it hadn’t been for the fact that Zsasz was lying on the hospital bed, wires and tubes attached to him, looking so lifeless.

Because yes, it was scary, indeed.

Roman thought even the cruellest people in the world would agree that the uncertainty of whether or not the person you cared about the most was coming back to you at all or not, warranted such feelings of fear. It was perfectly fine.

If only it didn’t feel so wrong.

If only he didn’t feel like ripping his own heart out, so he could make these emotions stop.

That’s one of the many reasons that he despised just how close he was to Victor, how close he let him get.

He’s always known that someday, he may as well lose him one way or another.

And then what?

He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know.

The strangest thing of all to him, in this very moment that he’s been sitting on the hospital chair next to Victor’s bed, was that he hasn’t left that spot even once so far. He was too scared to move. He felt as though the second his eyes left Zsasz’s shape, he would suddenly disappear. Because right now, he was still here. He was still alive, if only just barely, but he was still here.

He hadn’t even dared to change his clothes, the dried blood making them crusty and uncomfortable. It was disgusting and under any other circumstances he would have gone to change the second he had been out of danger.

Yet, here he was.

If only Zsasz knew just how much he actually cared about him.

Thinking about it though, he probably did. He seemed to know Roman better than he knew himself. Sometimes that scared him, but most of the time it only lit this raging fire inside him. He couldn’t stand the way he depended on this one person.

It was dangerous.

He couldn’t help himself, though. He’s tried before, but every time it led him right back to Zsasz. A strange pull kept hold of him, not letting him get out of Victor’s magnetic field under any circumstances.

Roman knew that Zsasz would probably say that it was some kind of fate thing. Destiny. They were meant to be together from the day they’d been born, only to wreak havoc on Gotham the way they’ve been doing ever since.

It was kind of charming, really, that Victor was so set on his theories about the universe. Sionis never questioned that Zsasz might have a point, considering that his purpose was to free all these birds from their cages, but he often failed to extent his belief in Victor’s theories to themselves.

Until now, at least.

The way he’s been feeling since Victor got knocked out, stabbed, and shot made him unsure of everything, now.

Because it truly felt as though with the very real notion of possibly losing his Victor, he’s suddenly felt so lost. Incomplete. It was as though with every action the rival gang’s taken, another part’s been ripped out of his body, his heart – his very soul.

It was absolutely horrific and now he could only hope that Zsasz would wake up again, without any permanent damages. He didn’t know what he would do if there were any at all. Would he rage? Mourn? Kill? He just hoped he’d never have to find out at all.

Several weeks later – fifty-six days, in fact – Roman sat in his chair beside Victor’s bed, like he’s done day and night since it had first happened.

Of course, he had changed out of his clothes after the first night, showered and slept, but he’s done it all in Zsasz’s hospital room. He didn’t dare leave him.

All business was done over the phone, or by meetings in Victor’s room. It wasn’t the most convenient situation. It also left him exposed, seemingly weak, and he’s made certain that they all knew that if they so much as thought of him as any less dangerous and cruel, they’d be dead faceless men. They seemed to have taken his threats seriously enough. At least nothing has come up so far.

After a while, Roman has started to hold Victor’s right hand in both of his, stroking his thumb over his palm, his wrist – tracing the only scar he found there. He even talked to him. The doctors have said that often times it helped to talk to a coma patient, that they’ve woken up earlier than expected – or at all – when they’ve been spoken to. So he had muttered about the incident that even got them there in the first place, but as time has passed, he just started talking about everything and nothing.

In rare moments of sentimentality, he’d even go on about how much he missed Victor, how scared he felt, even after weeks. Maybe especially because it’s been weeks – almost two months– now. He was so afraid that perhaps Zsasz wouldn’t wake up after all. The doctors have certainly never given him a clear answer.

Lost in his musing, he felt Victor’s hand, which has been still enveloped by both of his, twitch.

He immediately held completely still, not even breathing, as he looked at Zsasz curiously, expectantly.

“Zsasz?” he rasped, sounding so small to his own ears that he cringed internally.

The hand twitched again, fingers clenching and releasing around Roman’s hand.

“Victor, hey. Come back to me, hm?” he spoke softly, a nervous smile twisting his mouth upward.

After a few more moments, Victor’s eyes fluttered open. Slowly, he seemed to adjust to the bright lights in the room. Clearing his throat and groaning quietly, he sluggishly turned his head to the side, his eyes meeting Roman’s.

As soon as he had taken him in, Victor’s eyes widened.

Roman felt confusion coursing through him.

Zsasz looked – scared? Confused as well? He certainly didn’t look very happy to see Roman alive and well next to him.

“Who are you?”

The world seemed to stop around Roman; his heart was pounding, feeling it in his throat. He was kidding. He had to be.

“Excuse me?” Roman inquired instead, giving Zsasz a chance out of this uncalled for joke.

“Who are you?” Victor repeated, his voice still hoarse and broken, but louder. He looked so genuine, too.

An icy chill settled in Roman’s stomach, spreading through his entire body.

“Now’s really not the time for jokes, Mr. Zsasz,” Sionis reprimanded him, trying once more to make Victor react differently and say he’s only been kidding after all, before he called a doctor in panic.

But then Victor pried his hand out of Roman’s tight grip and said, “I’m really not joking, sir.”

Okay, maybe he really wasn’t, because Victor’s certainly never called him ‘sir’ outside of sex; even then, it was a rare occurrence.

Sionis took a deep breath and then leaned over to press the call-button, hoping the doctors – who were all on his pay roll, of course – would have an answer that was at least mildly satisfactory.

No such luck, though.

The doctors came in and asked Roman to step outside first, so they could check Victor over.

In front of his room, Sionis started pacing, running his hands through his hair in frustration, anxiety, and rage. He was trying so hard not to explode; it made him tremble all over again. He felt exactly like he had when they had first come into the hospital nearly two months ago.

This was just a really bad fucking nightmare. It had to be.

When the doctor and his nurses were done checking him over, they asked Roman back into the room. He’s kept his distance now, not daring to come any closer to Victor, his Victor.

“You said you don’t know who this is?” the doctor – whatshisname – inquired calmly, looking at Victor, but pointing at Roman.

“Yeah, no idea,” Victor replied, his voice started to sound clearer, which only made it so much worse for Roman when he couldn’t detect any underlying inflection that may have told him that this really was just a prank after all.

“But you do know who you are, correct? Do you know your name?” the doctor continued, looking at Roman, a hint of fear in his eyes. He hated it. He wanted to gouge them out, so he didn’t have to see the fear anymore. Instead, he just looked away, staring at Victor intently.

“I know who I am, yeah. Name’s Victor Zsasz.”

“Alright. Could you tell me what year we have, Mr. Zsasz?”

His brows furrowed, deep in thought, and then, “2002.” Fuck.

The doctor stopped short, Roman’s hands clenched into tight fists, the leather of his gloves squeaking audibly in the all too quiet room.

“I’m sorry to say it, but it is actually 2019. Do you have any idea why you’re in the hospital at all?”

Victor’s eyes widened again, just like when he’s spotted Roman for the first time a little while ago.

“That can’t be right. No, I don’t remember that. What the hell’s going on, Doc? What did you do to me?” The last part was directed at Roman, who felt as though his heart’s been stabbed, ripped out and stomped on with those words and the accusatory delivery of them.

“Mr. Sionis, I’d have to ask you to wait outside until I’m done here, please,” the doctor said.

Without another word and as if he was on autopilot, Roman let himself out of the room and sat down in the chair in front of it, burying his head in his hands. This couldn’t possibly be true. He had to wake up from this horrible nightmare, soon. He just had to.

After what felt like an eternity, the doctor stepped back outside.

“Mr. Sionis, it looks as though Mr. Zsasz suffers from amnesia. It was most likely caused by the blow to his head.”

“But he’ll be fine, right? Amnesia is only temporary. Right?” Roman hated that he couldn’t hide the anxiety he felt, the utter dread.

“Not always. We’d have to do some more tests, CTs and such, to make sure. After that I can disclose more certain information to you. Would that be alright?”

Sionis sighed, frustrated, “Yes. Do whatever you’ve got to, as long as it’ll help bring him back to normal.”

“Of course, sir. I’ll go and order the tests right now. I’d suggest that you go home now. I’ll call you as soon as I’ve got any new information, but it certainly wouldn’t do any good to confuse Mr. Zsasz even further now, when we barely know what’s really going on. Alright? I promise to be fast.”

“You better be,” Roman muttered and turned to leave the hospital, his driver waiting a couple of blocks away from it.

Normally, he’d have been raging now, throwing things, spitting into doctors faces, cussing them out – but he couldn’t.

He was in shock.

He could barely process the reality of what was even happening.

He felt so alone.

Two days later, in which he might’ve gone a little mad, really, his doctor finally called him. When he’s come in to see him, he’s told him that Victor did indeed only suffer from temporary memory loss. Unfortunately, such amnesia was quite unpredictable and it could be a few days, weeks, months, or even years until all memories were back.

Still, the good news were that the doctor has managed to warm up Zsasz to the idea of going back to living with Roman, after assuring him that it’s been this way for many years, now. To that Victor had first asked if he was gay, because apparently at that point in his life, Zsasz hadn’t had a clue about his sexuality, or that he could truly like anyone at all.

All of this was utterly ridiculous to Roman.

How can a person just lose access to such a big portion of their life, of their identity, essentially?

The same day that Roman’s received the news, he was also allowed to take Victor back home with him, already. Apparently his wounds had healed a great deal, while he’d been out, and so the rest could be done from home. Additionally, it’d be extremely beneficial to bringing his memories back if he was surrounded by things so familiar to him.

Roman hoped it worked fast.

“I had your old room prepared for you,” Roman commented when they’ve finally arrived back at the penthouse.

Victor was holding himself up with a hand on the wall. He hadn’t liked when Roman touched him and offered him to support him. Sionis couldn’t really find words for just how much he’s hated that.

“’Old room’? What’s with my new one?” Victor asked, almost looking like a caged animal, when their eyes met.

“Well, I had thought you wouldn’t want to sleep in one bed with me, right now,” Roman replied, hoping he’d catch on without needing him to spell it out for him.

Realisation dawned on him quickly, a slight pink tint to his cheeks. “Right.”

“Exactly. Anyway, so this is your room, there’s an en-suite bathroom, through that door,” Roman explained, showing Victor around. He was glad that he was such a natural at these things, it eased him a little, bringing back some much needed familiarity.

“Huh, compared to the shithole I used to live in, this is really luxerias.”

“Luxurious,” Roman corrected him without thinking.

“Uh-huh, whatever,” Victor just muttered darkly.

“Dinner will be ready at 6pm sharp. Until then you can- I don’t know, stay in bed, I suppose. If you should need anything, or you’re having an emergency you can either call for my staff, or me; whichever you prefer.” Fuck, Roman really hated just how much he cared about this asshole. He’d never do this for anyone else. If it had been anyone else, Roman would have dropped them – killed them – the second they had to have been rushed to the fucking hospital.

“Okay. Thanks, Mr. Sionis,” Zsasz said, gingerly sitting down on his bed.

“Just call me Roman, Zsasz.” Or boss, he added in his mind, but didn’t dare to speak it.

When he left Victor’s room, he stalked into his own, silent tears gathered in his eyes and ran down his cheeks.

He just wanted his Victor back.

Dinner was awkward to say the least. Victor sat in his usual place at the head of the table, to Roman’s right, and he ate just like he always did – like a fucking pig. But he didn’t talk to Roman at all, even when he had tried to start up a conversation. Instead, he only side-eyed him, looking suspicious of him. It enraged Roman.

In the morning, Victor didn’t show up for breakfast.

After a few minutes of waiting for him to come, Roman got up to look after Zsasz. His first thoughts had been that perhaps something’s gone wrong and Victor died in his sleep, but when he opened the door to his room – after knocking first, of course, he wasn’t a savage after all – Zsasz glared at him so darkly that an unpleasant shiver ran down Roman’s spine.

So he didn’t try to force him out if he didn’t want to. His doctor had told him to give him time and be patient with him, so he tried his fucking best to do exactly that. It was really fucking hard, though. He hoped that Zsasz would at least appreciate his efforts properly, when he was all his again.

In the end, Victor hasn’t come out of his room at all that day. It was extremely frustrating to Roman, who proceeded to trash his own room at night, when it had all just come to a head for him. He didn’t care if Victor could hear him scream and throw things, destroying them.

The day after, Victor sat at the breakfast table first, to Roman’s surprise. Sionis didn’t say anything, even though he so desperately wanted to make a snide remark, but he wasn’t willing to take the risk of having Zsasz lock himself into his room, again.

“The doc said that showing me some things could jog my memory,” Victor rasped eventually, when Roman had been ready to get up and leave.

“I know. So you’re willing to do that?” He only received a nod in response.

For a moment, Roman mulled it over, thinking about what he could show Victor to help him remember his life the best and the fastest.

Then it hit him.

Zsasz didn’t remember him. Well, maybe he would if he saw Roman wearing his Black Mask in the club they’ve first met, when Galante introduced them to each other.

“Alright, I’ve got something to show you. I’ll just make a phone call and we could go, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, alright.”

Roman had made sure that Victor wouldn’t see him in the Black Mask until they were to re-enact their first meeting – only that this time they’d be all by themselves.

He really hoped this worked.

Roman told Zsasz to stand in the same spot he’s stood when Black Mask had first stridden in to greet Galante. Just like he’s done with Sionis since, he’d stood leaned against a pillar. Usually his arms would be behind his back, but it would put too much strain on the still tender wounds on his abdomen, so he just let them dangle at his sides. Roman felt a painful tug on his heart strings. He had missed seeing Victor like this.

“Wait here,” he instructed Zsasz, who just nodded.

Then Roman went back to the car and got out his Black Mask and put it on.

“If this doesn’t fucking work…,” he muttered gloomily, before he opened the empty club’s door to walk in, like he’s done all those sixteen years ago.

As much as he hated admitting it, he was lucky that the mask gave him such a sense of security and protection, so that whenever he wore it, he practically became a different person. It made it a lot easier to hold himself with all the extravagance and intent that he’s displayed over a decade and a half ago (and every other day before all this), too.

He watched Victor like a hawk as he marched up to him, and Zsasz’s gaze was just as sharp and piercing as was his.

Black Mask stopped right in front of Zsasz, only a few inches away. He tilted his head a little, and gruffly inquired, “Anything at all, Mr. Zsasz?”

Victor swallowed thickly; Roman could see the way his throat worked around it. Then his eyes widened again, just like in the hospital, but this time recognition lied underneath his sharp gaze.

“Black Mask,” he whispered, a grin spread on his face, showing off his two beautiful golden teeth.

Sionis inhaled sharply. “I wasn’t sure you remembered me,” he rasped, a soft, sad inflection coming along with it.

“I’m so sorry, boss.” Victor lifted his hands and cupped the mask with them, oh, so gently. He’s always known to be careful with it. Then he stroked his thumbs over the seams and the roughly textured leather, a wonder in his eyes that Roman’s missed seeing more than he’d ever dare to admit.

“It wasn’t your fault, Mr. Zsasz,” Black Mask said, his voice strained from holding back. He didn’t know just how much Victor remembered now. They obviously haven’t been more than employer and employee from the get-go.

But fuck, he wanted to hold him close and kiss him so badly. It’s been far too long since and all the hospital stress has made him desperate for the assurance that Victor wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Still, he just stood there, watching Zsasz marvel at his mask for a while. Victor’s always loved his mask, and Roman couldn’t ever deny him from admiring it, when it was such a boost to his ego as well.

When it felt as though fifteen minutes must have passed, Roman got a little impatient, though. Victor’s not said anything since and he needed to know what other memories he’s gotten back; so he asked, “What else do you remember?”

Zsasz’s eyes were glazed over a little, having gotten completely lost in his own little world.

Under the mask, Roman smiled.

“Hm, I remember the Bertinelli Massacre,” the way he talked – it was a testament to just how far away into his mind he’s just gone, his voice sounded so light, pondering, Roman loved it, “And I remember you coming to Galante afterwards and buying my contract from him. How I became your exclusive assassin and later right-hand man. I remember how nervous you were about opening the club after your parents had just kicked you out. I remember how ecstatic you were when it had all started to work out in your favour, the way it should have.”

He paused.

Roman almost thought that had been it. They would have to wait for everything else to come back, too. And then who knew how long it’d take?

But then Victor continued with a smile on his face, “I remember the first time we’ve gotten each other off after I freed someone for you. And how you avoided me afterwards for a little while, so angry that you’ve given in to your urges. Then I remember how we just went from there. How we share a bed now, even though you hated it so much at first, but you can’t sleep anymore when I’m not there. And I remember just how close you are to owning Gotham the way you were always meant to do.” Zsasz ended it by kissing the mask’s teeth, like he would do so often.

Roman’s breath audibly stuttered. He wrapped his arms around Victor’s waist, careful not to squeeze, just holding onto him gently.

“Take my mask off,” he commanded.

With a cute little pout, Victor did as he was told and gently took off Roman’s Black Mask, setting it down on the table beside them. As soon as he’s done that, Roman captured Victor’s pretty, plush lips in a searing kiss that conveyed all the emotions that have plagued him for almost two months then. Zsasz reciprocated it just as enthusiastically, cupping Roman’s face in his hands. They both groaned into the kiss.

Their mouths open, Roman immediately plunged his tongue into his partner’s mouth, tasting and exploring him again after so long. It may have been the most amazing and intoxicating thing he’s ever experienced.

After a couple of minutes, they separated, although their noses still brushed against one another, their lips just barely apart at all.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you so much, baby,” Roman murmured, pressing another small kiss to Victor’s slack lips.

Zsasz smiled, “I know. I missed you, too. I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you.”

“Shut the fuck up, it wasn’t your fault, ‘kay? I’m just glad you’re back and all mine again. You are, aren’t you, Victor? All mine?”

“I sure am, boss. All yours. Only yours.”

Roman smiled, kissing Victor once more, a relieved sigh leaving him. He was beyond happy he’s gotten him back. He truly had no idea what he would have done if that hadn’t happened. Those past two months had been the worst of his entire life, he was sure of it.

“Never do that to me again. You hear me?”

“Never. I promise.”

Reblogs > Likes! Support content creators, please! Thanks!

[jenanigans1207]

Okay so today is my birthday and I really wanted to be further along with this fic so I could comfortably start posting it today, but life got in the way. As it stands, I want to at least share a snippet of it! So I hope you guys enjoy this preview of my ineffable husbands, enemies to lovers, fake marriage AU!

—

“I’m sorry,” Beelzebub cuts in from across the table. “But who is this?”

Aziraphale watches as Crowley’s smile grows, sharpens and turns distinctively dastardly. And even though Aziraphale knows what he’s in store for, he’s entirely unprepared for the words that slip out of Crowley’s mouth next. “Name’s Anthony Crowley, Aziraphale’s husband.”

Aziraphale is eternally grateful that he wasn’t taking a sip of his tea at that exact moment for he would’ve surely choked on it.

“Husband?” Beelzebub repeats, eyebrows raising.

There are two courses of action that Aziraphale can take and he knows it. The respectable thing to do is to correct Crowley, to insist to Beelzebub that it’s some ridiculous practical joke, or to explain that Crowley seems to make a living out of irritating Aziraphale to the fullest. Beelzebub probably wouldn’t appreciate the joke Crowley was trying to play, but they’d understand nonetheless, most reasonable people would. The second option is to be petty, stubborn and equally dastardly. There’s a part of Aziraphale that does not tolerate being shown up by Crowley, that doesn’t like letting him have the upper hand or the last word. There’s a part of Aziraphale that wants to throw Crowley off of his game, the same way he’s trying to throw Aziraphale off of his.

He knows he absolutely should not do that. It’s hardly proper and it’s entirely unfair for Beelzebub to get in the crossfires of their petulant relationship.

He does it anyway.

“That’s right.” Aziraphale smiles warmly, reaching out to place a hand on Crowley’s knee under the table and giving it a tight squeeze. Crowley stills beside him. “My dear husband. He’s also a writer, though we write… different subject matters. He was just on the other side of the cafe doing an interview for his most recent article.”

Crowley, who is always moving in some way, is very, very still next to him, his leg like a stone under Aziraphale’s palm. Aziraphale has a moment of feeling incredibly proud of himself for catching Crowley so off guard and returning the favor.

Beelzebub is glancing between the two fo them, eyebrows drawn together. “You don’t seem like a good match.”

“I hardly think you can tell after only a few seconds—” Aziraphale starts to say.

But Crowley finally comes back to life next to him, his grin sliding back onto his face. He looks elated that Aziraphale decided to join him in this lie and it makes Aziraphale’s blood boil. “Opposites attract, isn’t that the saying? I assure you, we’re well fitted for each other.”

“Quite.” Aziraphale agrees as evenly as he possibly can, refusing to move his hand from where it’s placed.

A silence stretches on for a long moment before Beelzebub’s attention zones in on Crowley. “Anthony Crowley, you said? Lead writer for Hellfire?”

“That’s me.”

“Very interesting.” Beelzebub replies, a smile tilting up the corner of their lips. Something about it is unnerving and Aziraphale doesn’t like the sight of it at all. Somehow what had been a perfectly normal conversation had gone entirely off the rails and Aziraphale feels like he’s speeding downhill in a car with no brakes. He should’ve known better than to latch himself onto Crowley like this. “Well, I won’t keep you. Thank you for letting me interrupt your research, Aziraphale. And please do consider what we were talking about earlier. Anthony, I’ll be seeing you very soon.”

And then before either of them could reply, Beelzebub was up and out the door, their short stature helping them blend into the crowds on the sidewalks with ease.

“What the hell was that?” Aziraphale whirls on Crowley immediately, yanking his hand back so fast someone might think he’d been burnt. “What were you thinking?”

“What was I thinking?” Crowley fires back, but he looks utterly delighted. “You’re the one who agreed with me! Plus, they were hardly your type.”

“This wasn’t a date, Crowley!” Aziraphale feels dizzy with frustration. He feels jittery and angry but he’s not sure if he’s mad at Crowley or at himself. Likely both. “They wanted to talk to me about my work and to offer me a position writing for them and their website.”

“What website?” Crowley asks, like that’s the only part of what just happened that needs to be talked about. He asks it like everything else is inconsequential and they’re just having a normal conversation over a cup of tea, like nothing else had happened. Aziraphale considers storming out without even answering.

He doesn’t, but only because he’s fuming too much to leave without properly shredding Crowely to pieces. “They didn’t get a chance to say before you so rudely interrupted.”

“Whatever, angel.” Crowley waves it off, his other hand cupping the back of his neck and squeezing. A headache, then, Aziraphale knows. And then he hates that he knows. “If you ever see them again you can just tell them that it was just some practical joke.”

“I absolutely cannot!” Aziraphale replies immediately and it becomes apparently clear that he’s more mad at himself than he is at Crowley. “How am I supposed to explain why I lied if it was some practical joke that you were playing?”

“I don’t know, angel. Why did you lie?” Crowley bites back and it’s clear that his temper is running thin.

Aziraphale takes a steadying breath in. He doesn’t feel any better. “Just go home, Crowley. Go write your article and go to bed. I’ll scold you suitably once you no longer have one of those headaches.”

“Care about my wellbeing, do you?” Crowley teases, but he’s already gathering his bag again.

“No use scolding you when you’re like this. You won’t learn your lesson.” Aziraphale replies, flustered by Crowley’s comment.

“I assure you,” Crowley stands from his chair and slips the strap to his bag over his shoulder. “I won’t learn my lesson when I’m feeling better, either. Have a good night, my dear husband,”

“You are a wicked man!” Aziraphale calls after him, but he gets nothing more than a dismissive wave in response.

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Sharing (2/2)

Mammon x poly gn!MC x Leviathan

Words - 724 (this part only)

Content warnings - Levi’s two dicks are briefly mentioned, lots of fluff, my attempt at humor

Prompt/Inspiration - AO3 request for a part 2

Summary - Mammon heads to Levi’s room to make amends with his brother.

AO3 | Part 1

After parting ways with you in front of his door, Mammon made his way to Levi’s room. He knew he had to apologize for his behavior earlier, which honestly wouldn’t have been that bad. But knowing he’d have to explain to Levi why he acted how he did made him reluctant to take another step.

You were waiting for him though, and he had said he was going to work things out with his brother, so that’s exactly what he was going to do.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Oi!”

“Go away.”

“Hey you didn’t even listen!”

“Go away.”

“C’mon man. I’m here to apologize.”

“...fine.”

Levi opened his door a crack, just enough to see Mammon, but not enough to let him in.

“Well?”

“Ah c’mon. Let me in. Don’t make me do this out here,” Mammon shoved his hands into his pockets, shifting his weight from one foot to another, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Levi smirked as he watched his brother squirm. At least he seemed like he was being honest about his intentions, Levi thought.

After a few more moments of enjoying Mammon’s suffering, Levi finally relented and opened the door the rest of the way, allowing him to slip inside. He then took a seat in his gaming chair at his desk, crossing his arms as he waited for Mammon to say whatever he had wanted to say.

While somewhat relieved to be in the privacy of Levi’s room, Mammon was still feeling really awkward about this whole thing and kept fidgeting with his rings, while his eyes darted around the room - looking anywhere but Levi, who was now staring him down.

“If you’re not going to talk, then leave,” Levi said, his patience wearing thin.

“Alright alright! Sheesh…” Mammon mumbled. Taking a deep breath, he continued, feeling his cheeks heating up, “I’m sorry for talkingaboutyourdicks.”

Despite the fact that Mammon had rushed through the end of his apology, Levi knew exactly what he said and couldn’t help the blush that spread across his face. He had been enjoying watching how uncomfortable Mammon was, but had completely neglected to think about what it was exactly he was going to need to talk about.

“YOU DIDNT HAVE TO SAY IT!” Levi snapped, embarrassed.

“How else am I supposed to apologize?!”

“I dunno! VAGUELY?!”

The two waited in awkward silence for a while before Mammon finally spoke again.

“We were gonna have a movie night tonight, instead of goin’ out. If ya wanna join…” he chanced a look at Levi out of the corner of his eye, trying to gauge his reaction.

“That’s fine.”

When Mammon didn’t make any moves towards the door, Levi finally looked at him again, “Is there something else?”

“Mgrmbgmrnrmrn.”

“I have no idea what the hell you just said.”

“MC told me I should tell ya why .”

“Oh?” Levi frankly hadn’t cared much to learn about Mammon’s motives. Who knew what sort of extreme leaps of logic would lead him to randomly shouting out personal information? All he had to do was remember all the times Lucifer had caught him in the middle of one of his schemes to realize his brother had a penchant for running his mouth when he shouldn’t. But if you thought it was something Levi would be interested in knowing...that definitely intrigued him.

“Iwasjealous,” Mammon said, before quickly moving on and practically sprinting to the door, “Alright, well now that that is settle. Let’s go watch that…”

“I don’t think I heard you.”

Mammon slowly turned around to look at Levi, who now had a wicked smirk spread across his face, with a glint in his eye that sent a chill down Mammon’s spine. He knew what Mammon had said. And just like Mammon had expected, he was relishing in the knowledge that Mammon had been jealous of him.

“I WAS JEALOUS, ALRIGHT?!” Mammon shouted, huffing and crossing his arms again.

“What was that?”

“I ain’t sayin’ it again! Ya know what I said.”

Levi cackled at Mammon’s response, absolutely delighted at this turn of events. He was going to have to thank you for this “gift”.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s get to movie night!” Levi said as he hurried out of his bedroom and began skipping through the hallways, excited about spending the evening with you (and Mammon too).

[jessilyria]

ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY SEASON 2

Hello! This covers everything from trailers, promo pics, interviews, and articles. Pics and links will be included. The info is in vague chronological order (as much as it can be.)

Needless to say, this post contains SPOILERS and is LONG ^‿^

If you’d like a non-spoilery version with just the basic facts please check out my Umbrella Academy Timeline.

***********************************************************************

According to Steve Blackman, season 2 is about second chances and the endgame is still to stop the 2019 apocalypse (X).

The opening scene of season 2:

The siblings arrive in the past at different times, but all in the same spot - an alleyway with some dumpsters which leads out onto a high-street. 

Noticeable locations on the high-street include a beauty salon for black people, and an electronics shop which later on closes down and becomes a base for the group.

The order they arrive in is the order the promo pictures were released: Ben & Klaus, Allison, Luther, Diego, Vanya, Five.

It will likely take a while before the whole team is reunited, and possibly longer before the siblings begin to meet the new characters: “It was several episodes before we all started to interact with each other” (X).

Ben & Klaus land in February 1960 (X). As Klaus is sober, his powers continue to develop and he uses them to impresses some people. (X)

"Klaus effectively starts the hippie movement off early by founding a cult whose philosophy is based on the lyrics of pop songs that have yet to be written. “Don’t go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to,” he tells one awed follower." (X)

"Destiny's Children! Let us commune with music." *starts whistling*

But Klaus isn’t as happy as he seems in this new life of cult stardom. “He can’t deal with the praise; it’s just become strangulating.” (X)

There’s also tension between Klaus and Ben, but its unknown whether this is because of the cult, because Klaus is "trying to rekindle his relationship with Dave" (X), or because Klaus’ evolved powers mean Ben can now possess him (X). Either way, Ben’s “determined not to be invisible to the ones he loves, willing to go further than ever before to make his presence known.” (X)

As Klaus is wearing the same outfit as the promo pics (and has a long beard which he later loses), its likely the following scene takes place early on.

Klaus: Now what? Ben: Remember when I told you the engine was overheating? Klaus: Yeah, well, being smart doesn't make you interesting. Ben: Neither does your beard.

Ben: You think I’m just going to keep following you everywhere for another three years? Klaus: Yeah, you are my ghost-bitch, remember?

*************************

Klaus: My skin was on fire! Ben: Good! I’ve got to get to San Francisco, I have unfinished business.

Allison is second to appear in 1961 (X). "Confused and looking for help, Allison walks into a diner and is greeted by a “Whites Only” sign, then chased across town by a group of white men until she finds sanctuary in a beauty parlour for Black women that doubles as a meeting place for civil-rights activists." (X)

Its been confirmed that the below image is from ep 1. (X)

Have you experienced discrimination by your employer?

She meets a man named Raymond Chestnut who is a “born leader with the smarts, gravitas, and confidence to never have to prove it to anyone. He has the innate ability to disarm you with a look, and is a devoted husband.” (X)

Luther appears on April 10th 1962 and lands on a dumpster.

He ends up working for Jack Ruby (X), a mysterious man who owns a nightclub (and who fatally shot Lee Harvey Oswald after Oswald was in custody for JFK's assassination). Luther’s job involves being a driver, bouncer, and underground fighter.

Its been confirmed that the following scene is from ep 1. (X)

Diego appears on Sep 17th 1963. One of the first things he sees is a televised address from President JFK.

He ends up in an insane asylum for stalking Lee Harvey Oswald and spouting “delusional claims” about JFK’s assassination (X). Its here he meets Lila Pitts, “a chameleon who can be as brilliant or as clinically insane as the situation requires”. She’s also "unpredictable, mischievous" and "sarcastic" with a "twisted sense of humour." (X)

Vanya appears on Oct 12th 1963 (X). “She arrives and gets hit by a car, driven by a woman (Sissy). She smashes her head on the cement... She remembers her name, but nothing else.” (X)

She gets a job on a ranch as a live-in-nanny for Sissy, a "fearless, no nonsense Texas Mom" who "married young for all the wrong reasons" and is "eager to rediscover what love has to offer." (X)

Because she has forgotten her past traumas, Vanya is “much more confident and more in touch with her emotional self” (X). She forms a unique bond with Sissy’s son, Harlan, who is non-verbal (X). Its been confirmed that the following photos are from ep 1. (X)

Vanya: I wish I remembered something.
 Sissy: The doctor said it would take time. Don’t push yourself.

Vanya is also slowly discovering her powers on her own.

Five appears with Hazel on Nov 15th after witnessing the world going down in nuclear explosions.

Five: What was that? Hazel: The end of the world, November 25th 1963. Five: And where am I now? Hazel: Dallas, ten days earlier. Five: ...I need to find my family.

But of course its not going to be that easy, the Commission is still out there and “will hunt us down wherever and whenever we go.”

In the trailer we are introduced to the head of The Commission, a fish named Carmichael. He sends three Swedish assassins, Oscar, Axel, and Otto, to hunt down Five and the others.

At some point they acquire a milk-truck and one of them dresses as a milkman. On a location shoot, the Swedes were seen in their truck outside a house in an urban area. They check a map and one of them pumps a shotgun (X).

Whilst searching for his siblings Five encounters a man named Elliot, an "alien obsessive (who) witnesses The Umbrella Academy's separate arrivals." He agrees to help Five find the others. (X)

“3rd EVENT, April 10th 1962″ is above photos of Luther arriving, “September 17th 1963″ is above photos of Diego arriving, and the right column are photos of Vanya arriving still in her White Violin outfit.

Five manages to find Diego in the asylum and they have a conversation.

Five: Listen to me very closely, you gibbering moron. You are not going to do a goddamned thing. Diego: Why not? Five: Because we have to stop the apocalypse. Diego: But that doesn't happen for another 60 years. Five: Not that apocalypse, this is a... new one. It followed us.
 Diego: *begins laughing*

At some point after this the Swedes storm the asylum.

“Who are those guys?!”

Diego and Lila seem to make their escape from the Swedes and the asylum pretty quickly however. Its been confirmed that the below pic is from ep 2. (X)

Based on Diego’s outfit and length of beard, the following two scenes take place around the same time. First, a heated car conversation which Five crashes.

Diego: You don’t know anything about me! Lila: I know everything. You are an open book written for very dumb children. Diego: I am n-not trying to b-be a hero, okay? Lila: Then why are you doing this?
 Five: *appears in the backseat* Because he is an idiot. Lila: Who the hell are you? Five: Hi, I’m his loving brother. Diego: Who left me to rot in the nut-house. Five: To protect you from yourself.
 Lila: Thats quite sweet. Diego: Okay. Both of you. Out.

And second, a dark encounter with a familiar figure...

Reginald Hargreeves & Pogo

The summary for episode 2 also mentions that “an incident at the bar leads Luther to Vanya,” and “Five finds an unsettling surprise in the film Hazel left behind,” which likely links to this image:

Its been confirmed that the following scene is from ep3 (X). Klaus is seen emerging from a river - now confirmed to be the River Ganges in India/Bangladesh which is considered sacred and purifying (X). Considering the series spans 10 days and is set in Dallas, this scene is very likely a flashback.

Note Ben in the background.

Klaus is also seen in similar attire in a wealthy looking house, which is potentially part of the commune where the cult operates.

Note Klaus no longer has his long beard.

And here’s Ben in what looks like a room in the same house. It's interesting to note that Ben (or the actor) is looking straight into the camera, implying its a first person point-of-view.

Apparently also in ep3 we have this delightful gem of Klaus being Klaus. (presumably theres a pool at the commune?).

Episode 3 also sees the Swedes chasing Vanya in a cornfield until she uses her powers to defend herself.

Thanks to this, Five is able to track Vanya down (X). It's been confirmed that the following pic is from episode 3. (X)

And based on Vanya's clothes, Five then takes her to a cafe to explain a few things.

Vanya: Are you gonna tell me what the hell's going on? Five: When you were a baby you were bought by an eccentric billionaire. He raised you in an elite academy with six other siblings with extrodinary powers, but in the year 2019 in order to avoid the apocalypse we jumped into a vortex and ended up being scattered throughout the timeline in Dallas, Texas. Vanya: ... Five: Any questions? Vanya: ... what do you mean the apocalypse?

At some point ollowing on from this (but unknown which ep) Luther and Vanya have this conversation:

Vanya: What caused the apocalypse? Luther: ... You did... but not alone. I was part of it, we all- Vanya: How? Luther: You got angry. Lost control, you... blew up the moon. It slammed into Earth wiping out everything.

In ep3 we see both Allison and Raymond actively involved in the protests against the segregation by taking part in a sit-in (X).

Allison: I’d like to be served, please.
 Waitress: *pointing to a Whites Only sign* Can’t you read, girl?
 Allison: Seven languages.
 Customer: Oh, you smart one, huh?
 *The door opens and many other blank protesters enter.*
 Allison: We’d like to be served, please.

However, it goes badly as "police brutally attack (the) peaceful protestors." (X).

The summary for ep3 says that “Allison reconnects with Klaus,” and in ep4 she is “searching frantically for Ray.” It seems, based on the following pics, that she finds Ray in jail and Klaus & Ben have a hand in getting him out.

Note the word "buearu" on the window and Ray in the background.

Based on Klaus' outfit, its sometime around this point he goes on a massive bender. We see him running with a bottle of whiskey, his gleeful cult following him, and dancing in a drinks aisle.

Note that Klaus is bleeding from his lip.

Following on from this, Klaus wakes up on Allisons floor, feeling worse for wear.

Ben: And how are we feeling this morning? Klaus: Ugh, peaches and cream, how are you? Ben: Curious. How many more rock bottoms are you going to have to hit before you start taking care of yourself?

In episode 4 “Vanya contends with a crisis at the farm.” Could this link to her developing romance as, despite Sissy still being with her husband (X), she and Vanya begin exploring a relationship?

The summary confirms that in ep4, “Five, Diego, and Lila crash a party at the Mexican consulate.” But the Swedes are still hot on their tail.

Note the third Swede in the background, chasing Five?

After surviving this, they return to their base. The following pic has been confirmed as happening in ep4 (X).

At some unknown point the Swedes (or two of them) also go after Allison, though it appears she fights back (and kills one of them?).

"They weren't here to sell vacuums!"

Also at some unknown point, Allison and Luther have a catch up. Based on Luthers partially healed face, this is after his conversation with Vanya in ep2.

Luther: We did it again… apparently.
 Allison: Did what again?
 Luther: Ended the world.

Also at some unknown point Vanya and Diego reconcile: “I don’t remember what I did, but I’m sorry, if that means anything,” Vanya tells Diego as he threateningly juggles a knife. “It does,” he responds, before accepting her as a confidant he can turn to for advice on how to handle his feelings for Lila. (X)

It appears that ep5 is when the whole family finally reunites. The episode summary explains how “summoned to an emergency meeting, the siblings hatch very different plans for how to spend their last 6 days on Earth.” (I have no idea what order the conversation goes in as each bit is a snippet from a different promo vid).

Five: Klaus, is Ben here? Klaus: No, unfortunately ghosts can’t time-travel. Ben: Are you kidding me?

Five: (I/We) really screwed the pooch on this one, the whole going back in time and getting stuck thing. But the real kick in the pants here is… we brought the end of the world back here with us. Klaus: Oh my god, again? My cult is gonna be so pissed. I told them we had until 2019. Five: We have until Monday.

Klaus: Is it Vanya? Allison: Klaus! Klaus: What? Its usually Vanya.

Vanya: None of us are supposed to be here, right? I mean, what if its us?

Luther: Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald. Diego: Hey, you're working for Jack Ruby! Klaus: Allison has been very involved in local politics. Allison: Okay, you started a cult! Ben: Thank you!

“We have to make it right again, before everyone and everything we know is dead.”

Following on from this, Klaus, Vanya and Allison have some bonding time in the beauty parlour.

Vanya: How do you guys deal with this? Allison: What? Vanya: I mean all of it. Time travel. Seeing the dead...?

Vanya: I’m gunna tell Sissy that I love her… I don’t want any secrets.
 Klaus: Yeah? Allison: Yeah! Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Yes. Cos, y’know, if, if its all going to go tits up the least I could do is be honest with my husband. Klaus: Oh… does that mean I have to face my cult? I just hate group breakups, thats why I stopped dating twins.

“Klaus, Vanya, and Allison end a moping session by dancing together to Twistin’ the Night Away.” (X). Its been confirmed that the following pic is from ep 5. (X)

In episode 6, “Dave visits Klaus’ compound” and “the siblings meet their father for dinner” in a Tiki bar. Its been confirmed that the following pic is from ep 6 (X).

An interview with the cast has them talking about ‘the elevator scene’ and how hard it was to shoot because everyone kept cracking up. (X)

Five: All right, quick run down. Luther; super strength, Klaus can commune with the dead, Allison can rumour anyone to do anything-
 Diego: Yeah except she never uses it.
 Allison: I heard a rumour you punched yourself in the face.
 *Diego punches himself in the face.*
 Reginald: *looking at Vanya* And you?
 Luther: Uh, maybe we don’t… take Vanya for a test drive.
 Klaus: Oh yeah thats probably not a good idea…
 Vanya: What, I think I can handle it.
 *Despite everyones protests, Vanya explodes a fruit bowl.*

Based on Luther and Klaus’ outfits, the following scenes also take place sometime around the same time (ep6/7).

First, Luther pulls up to a house in an urban area, he gets out the car and has a conversation with a man (X). This is the same house where the three Swedes were seen in their milk-truck at night.

Note the gun and flask on the seat.

Next, Allison and Raymond deal with a body (of a Swede?) while Klaus & Ben don’t help. The summary of ep6 also mentions that Allison gives Ray a peek at her powers, which is maybe why he’s on board to deal with a body.

But what's the big flash that startles them? Well it may have something to do with all this craziness:

Note the chairs and people on the ceiling.

It’s hard to tell but since Ben is there, this could be Klaus being thrown backwards? The outfit certainly looks similar.

In an interview, the cast talk about how the room had to be painted completely white (then returned to normal), and how nice it was for the character of Ben to be able to share a moment with Vanya (X). This implies Vanya looses control and Ben is able to talk her down.

At some unknown point, it looks like the siblings all return to the academy.

Note that the background behind Klaus implies he’s sat in the same seat that he did as a child.

An interview asked the question "You all eat 'brain' at a family dinner..." (X) and in a different interview the cast talk about the brain acid trip (X). Could this be when that happens?

Either way, things likely don’t run smoothy. “Reginald still proves just as capable of preying on their deepest insecurities, while somehow leaving them attacking each other instead of him.” (X)

The summary for ep7 mentions someone named Carl issuing a warning to Vanya, and in ep8 it states that the FBI torture her, so its most likely the following images are from this time:

The tape recorder is turned off...

The figure from behind slaps a cloth over Vanya’s face as she takes on the appearance of The White Violin.

“A dimly lit room... Vanya is strapped to a chair. The floor is soaked with water. At the moment she is being tortured for information... After an electric shock the lights on the ceiling begin to flicker. “‘Is she doing that?’ asks a fearful FBI agent.” (X)

Also in ep7, “Five travels to 1982 to carry out his new mission”. Theres a possibility that Luther is also involved in this as a promo pic has snow surrounding the house, which I don’t think would happen in November in Dallas?

Five: I need a spotter. Luther: What is that? Like a wingman?

The summary for ep8 includes the fact that “Diego discovers what causes the apocalypse.”

“Everything in our new lives is connected to the plot to assassinate the president. That can’t be a coincidence.”

The fact we see the gun Five was going to use to assassinate JFK, implies this scene takes place on Nov 22nd, 3 days before the apocalypse. And we know from the summaries that in ep8 “Five concocts a risky plan to intercept another version of himself.”

Old Five, young Five (who’s still really old Five), and Luther.

However this may not go to plan as the summary for ep9 says, “the Fives plot against each other.”

And the summary for episode 10 is: “reeling from the events at the Dealey Plaza, the siblings head to the farm to help save Harlan.”

MOMENTS I CAN’T PLACE:

Someone flips over a table in what looks like it could be a distillery. Based on outfit and hair this could possibly be Lila, Klaus, or (less likely) Diego. Five is also there.

A similar (the same?) person flips over while avoiding gunfire. There are targets and what looks like training equipment, and the person shooting is standing under a large umbrella.

If the flipping person is Lila, then this may link to what the summaries reveal about her arc: In ep5 she confronts her mother, in ep6 the Handler is mentioned (albeit talking to Five), and in ep9 she learns the truth about her parents…

Five sneaks through a room with a camera and lights. On the blackboard the word “Pogo” is written, implying this could be Reggies house and this room is where he is teaching and studying young Pogo.

Diego walks into a control room. It looks like there might be 2-way glass. Could this link to ep8 when Diego discovers what cases the apocalypse?

Five is seen in a building with wooden panels on the walls.

Based on the background of this shot of Carmichael, the building could be part of The Commission.

“You...”

Five gets buried in rubble. Aidan looks chill about it though.

***********************************************************************

Well done for making it all the way! 

I’ve tried to avoid speculation as much as possible and keep the language suggestive. I don’t know all the facts, I WILL have made errors, probably many! So please take all this with a suggestive grain of salt, I am just a hooman trying to use her squishy brain.

Please let me know if you spot any errors, think of anything else I can add, or if you want more info about any specific event ^‿^

[ofmermaidstories]

Spoilers for the latest chapter of Something!

I'm gonna go ahead and apologize now because this is long; please feel free to ignore my wordy ass, I just have a lot of feelings about a certain someone that showed up in the new chapter lol.

I am still trying to get my shit together enough to write a proper review, but I did want to come yell at you for making the grape boy somewhat likeable, like...

Firstly, how??? Secondly, why?????!?!

Lmao, in all seriousness tho, it's nice to see him have a personality that isn't just "Mmmm, tits" *drools* I like to think that everyone in the series grows up and (mostly) out of the worst of their habits, and while Mineta is still a bit of a lecher here he isn't nearly as offensive/creepy as he comes off in show. In fact he's actually sympathetic in a lot way. The bit about seeing his first dead body before "getting laid" hit different like... He tries to play it off like a joke, but dude has to have just as much PTSD as the rest of them, maybe even more given that he wasn't able to fight back in the same way as someone like Bkg or Deku would be able to with their super powerful offensive quirks. They were all just kids, but they had to face hell full on from jump, and let me stop before I get too in my feelings lol.

In a lot of ways, he reminds of you the boys from school — crude. Taking for granted the safety from being in a pack, unchallenged. Leering at posters, saying off-colour things because no one corrects them.

That's exactly the way I view him, just a crude little thing that refuses to be put in his place for long lol. Still, with his being a hero I would hope that he keeps a cap on it while he's on the job--in fact I'm sure he does; if he didn't I'm sure that Aizawa would've yanked his licence by now, the likes of Deku and Kiri wouldn't continue to associate with him, and that's saying nothing of the shit that would get posted to social mead and such. I feel like the only reason he says what he says to the Reader is b/c she's a little gremlin herself and he knows he's got a bit more leeway, yanno?

The little hangout session that they had at the end of the chapter was weirdly heartwarming?? I want a friend(???) that I can be a surly little shit with and draw on and that will call my bf that's not really my bf but should be my bf because he's (that is Mineta) got more emotional intelligence than me lmao. Never thought I'd see the day when the grape would make for such an excellent wingman--tho I gotta wonder what that text he sent to Deku said. Probably something along the lines of "come get yo girl, she must be bored/lonely af because she asked to hang out with me" followed by "are you ever gonna close the deal or not? or have you already hit it??? >:)" just to give the guy an extra push (or maybe he's got a better sense of self-preservation than what I give him credit for, idk lmfaooo...)

Okay, this is WAY too long, I just had to get it out of my system lol. I loved the new chapter lots and I cannot wait to see how things play out in the next one!!

LOL, oh Puck, i adore you sdlkfjsdlkfjsdlkfj

me being a shit-stirrer/asking myself questions i don’t have answers for under the cut

Cat asked me this question earlier today, actually — why Mineta. And honestly? Part of it is the challenge he represents — like, how do you write him into a fic and mature him up so that he’s at the very least, tolerable, but also keep the backbone of his character (which is being a little degenerate). Like, is it possible? One of the most popular tags on ao3 for mineta minoru is something along the lines of “mineta minoru is replaced with shinsou hitoshi” LOL so…….. why didn’t I just use Shinsou? Or Aoyama or Iida, as Cat suggested? And beyond the part of me that delights in giving myself perceived challenges, there were two stark reasons that stuck out to me, when i was first mulling over his inclusion.

1) the fact that he can draw. it’s literally as simple as that. ever since the BNHA exhibition opened up in Japan and it was revealed that there was a scene in there with a class blackboard and the kids having their little drawing competition — and that Mineta was objectively the most skilled — i was like, “i have to include that”. LOL. it’s like you say, Puck, our Reader is a little gremlin herself — i thought if I was going to write a Reader that could handle interacting with him (ie, be in a position to pay him out) it was going to be this one. I think being in the manga industry and starting out on this journey of creating and drawing a Shonen manga sort of put Reader in this unique position of… being in what seems like a boys’ club? So she’d be used to the male gaze within her field. I follow Horikoshi’s assistant (former assistant?) on twitter and let me tell you, that man is not shy about the things that he likes to draw LOL.

the 2) thing was the philosophy i’ve sort of accidentally given myself LOL and that’s the fact that — as a Bakugou stan, if i’m giving grace to a character who was a literal violent bully then………. i can use my magic powers and hand it around to the other characters, too, LOL. and like, i would argue that with Bakugou it’s different, like we’re currently seeing in the manga how he has grown and learnt and is actively changing, which is the key to any kind of redemption. do i think Mineta will ever undergo that in cannon? absolutely not lmao, i see him as being being Hori’s idea of comedic relief, he’s always going to be a horrible little degen. but i want it for him…… if only to justify why the boys of Class-A collectively ignore his bullshit, for the most part? Like, none of them actively call him out on it?? i think of the time he tried to climb the wall to spy on the girls in the onsen — and how it was literally only Iida scolding him and how it took a child to stop him. Or the one when he found the stupid hole into the girl’s changing room and while the boys all looked grossed out….. Jirou’s the one that point an end to that?????? I saw a TikTok (derogatory) suggesting how like, none of the girls of Class-A would trust Aizawa, as adults, because he didn’t do anything to put an end to Mineta’s bullshit, and it was a devastating suggesting. None of us want to believe that our favourites would be passively okay with this kind of behaviour, right?? Which means……. Mineta’s gotta change LMAO. And if Hori isn’t going to do it then imma borrow him and do it myself. Does it work? I have no idea LMAO i can’t judge anymore, my meter is broken. but i’m gonna work with what i’ve given myself and it either will, or it won’t LMAOOOO kldsfjlksdjflkdj fic is about having fun at the end of the day. :’)

But it’s like you point out, Puck — Mineta is also a child, when these kids get trotted out to their first War. And he’s also not as offensively built as the hard-hitters like Deku and Bakugou and Shouto are. Even if it’s not explored in the manga, that War is going to change them all somehow.

So, my gameplan for Mineta was to grab ahold of the tiny things about him — the talent for drawing, the like one [1] observation he has about the wreckage of the war/pro heroes during the war arc, his tears for Bakugou when B wakes up afterwards and how he tells Deku how cool he was and how much he admires him, in the current Bring Deku Home chapters — and try to envision a sleaze bag who learns that the bullshit he pulls won’t be tolerated, even if he’s still ultimately a skeeze LOL. i mean, he’s never going to drop that er…. appreciation for the female form. and i mean, hey, live your best life King, i’ve distinctly noticed a hand-fetish floating around on this site lately so i’m not gonna be like “NO men can’t like ANYTHING”. But the thing with him being a sleaze and open with his leering is like, he’s actively made the girls of his class uncomfortable with that in the past — how do you write it so that he’s not doing that in a position of power with the women he works with (and saves!), as an adult?? Maturity only goes so far. How much can I bank on the war and the subsequent bullshit they’re gonna face from it on…. transforming him??? It shouldn’t be up to the girls he’s learning with to police him, they’re just children. I have a vague gameplan for it — whether or not it works will be one thing; whether i can naturally shove it into the fic is another, LOL. Guess we’ll see. 🧐

SAYING ALL THAT,,,,, i’m actually really glad you liked (???) the ending scene with him because it’s my favourite LMAO lkdjflkdsjflkdjfkldsjf. 😭😭 Reader is by no means perfect, and she and Mineta both need to start treating each other with more respect, but her bullying of him was fun to write and I like imagining a Mineta who considers himself to be close with Deku (whether or not Deku thinks the same is up for debate) going along with it. i could see this version of Mineta being enough of a shit-stirrer to say something like, “gotta lock that shit down” to Deku LMAO kdfjlkdsjflkdsfjdklsfj and then getting left on a skyscraper somewhere…. RIP short King.

[ruzek-halstead]

bundled up

pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton

during one of chicago's coldest winter nights, the power and heat in hailey's building is out. jay humbly offers his apartment - until his power goes out as well.

“get your ass back in this bed because you are not sleeping on the couch.”

masterlist || ao3

warnings: swearing, fluffery

considering both jay and hailey were both born and raised in chicago, they were no strangers to the cold winters. however, it did not make them any less bearable.

today happened to be a chilly friday, where temperatures plummeted down to the negative forties with the windchill. the power was out in many parts of the city and a number of chicagoans were stranded without heat and water. it’s ugly out there, but the districts have all pooled together to help whoever they could. with the help of the fire department, they made it through the worst.

or so hailey thinks.

she groans as she checks her phone. it is a little past nine at night and the unit had a hell of a day hitting the streets. all hailey wants to do is crack open a bottle of wine, take a nice hot bath and go to bed early. instead, she receives a text from her landlord informing her that the power is out in their neighbourhood and there is currently no heat.

hailey’s head hits the wood of her desk just thinking about the icebox that is currently her apartment.

jay peaks his eyes over his computer monitor upon hearing her distressed sounds. “you good?” he asks with a hint of amusement.

the rest of the team had already left for the night, after jay and hailey lost a bet earlier that day. both partners didn’t believe the power would go out because of the cold and the rest of their team bet them a week’s worth of paperwork. needless to say, Jay and hailey lost, and they are prepared for quite a few late nights in the near future.

“apparently my power is out and so is my heat,” she replies, paperwork completely forgotten. “do i even have enough blankets to survive the night?” she adds dramatically. “oh my god, i’m going to have to put on every article of clothing i own.”

on that note, jay checks his phone to make sure his apartment was still intact. “hey, don’t worry about it,” he tells her comfortingly; her eyes flit up to meet his. “you can come home with me tonight.”

“oh no, no,” hailey shakes her head, “that’s alright.”

jay furrows his brows. “you literally just implied you’ll freeze if you go back home.”

“i was being dramatic,” she waves him off, “i'll be fine. thanks for the offer though, i appreciate it.”

jay checks his phone again; it’s nine-thirty and no new messages. “alright, i'm done with paperwork for the night,” he gently pushes the endless piles further into his desk. “come on, let’s go.”

jay is up and grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair and hailey is watching him with an exasperated expression. “jay, i’m going home. i’ll be fine.”

"i'm sure you will be,” he says nonchalantly. “but i'm offering you a warm bed and free whiskey. what more could you want?”

“what i want is to not be a bother and go home,” she stands her ground against his bewildered look. “plus, i don’t have any of my stuff with me and if i have to go get stuff, i may as well stay there,” she explains, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

jay raises a suspicious eyebrow. “i know you always have an overnight bag in your locker.”

hailey pauses in her mission to get into her winter coat and hopes jay doesn’t notice it; of course, he does. “jay, seriously, i don’t want to be a bother.”

“the only thing that’s bothering me right now is your refusal to let me help you when it literally comes at no cost to me,” he replies, his features entirely serious. hailey is being extra resistant, and he isn’t sure why. “i promise i'll be the perfect gentleman, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

hailey shakes her head. “no, that’s not what…” she trails off, her voice quiet. jay dips his head to catch her eyes; she is being even more mysterious than usual. “okay, i’ll take you up on your offer. but,” she says sharply as he starts to grin victoriously, “this is for one night only, okay? i'm not trying to put anyone out.”

jay rolls his eyes but is still satisfied she changed her mind. “right, because that’s what you’re doing,” he adds sarcastically, and she punches his shoulder in retaliation. he can tell she hates to be a bother, but he wishes he could convey how she is the least bothersome part of his life.

they stop by the locker room so hailey can pick up her bag before they agree to meet back at his place. he’s already mapping out things to do or say to make her feel more comfortable and has a pretty decent list by the time he reaches home.

his apartment is nice and toasty when they arrive and relatively clean. he was never a messy guy and he doesn’t have that much in his apartment to begin with. he takes both their jackets and hangs them in the hall closet, watching out of the corner of his eye how hailey looks small and uncomfortable in his living room. he frowns; she should feel comfortable in every aspect of his life.

“hey, relax, okay?” he tells her on his walk back to the kitchen. his hands land on her shoulder and her blue eyes bore into his nervously. “you're not in my way and you’re always welcome here, you know that.”

he's used to confident and sassy hailey and he wants her back.

“you want something to drink?” he asks. “whiskey?”

his hand is already on the bottle but hailey surprises him by entering his kitchen and taking a hold of his coffee maker. “can i actually make some coffee?” jay smiles at her first sign of comfort and nods with enthusiasm. “that walk from the car to the front door just about killed me.”

“you want to take a shower while the coffee brews?” he asks after a few minutes of scrolling on his phone.

hailey's eyes light up. “yes, i would love that!”

he motions for her to follow him and leads her into his room; the bathroom attached to his room is the only one with a shower.

“this is jay halstead’s bedroom?” hailey teases in a higher-pitched tone. she’s smirking wildly and all he can do is roll his eyes. “everything is black, and you only have the basics. why am i not surprised?”

now it’s his turn to smirk. “i'm a very simple man, upton.”

she shakes her head in response.

“here's the shower,” he explains, popping in to turn the lights on. “fresh towel on the rack and extras in the closet over there,” he points. “i'll leave you to it. do you need anything else?”

hailey sets her bag down in the bathroom and quickly rummages through it. “no, i think i'm okay,” she says and looks up at him. “thank you, jay,” she smiles softly.

jay suddenly finds it hard to swallow and is rushing to exit the room. “yeah, no problem,” he responds quickly. “i'll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

she nods and he’s gone.

his bathroom is very simple but clean. he has his shaving essentials on the corner of his counter, and she’s surprised to see he has a face scrub as well as a moisturizer. but then again, he literally has perfect skin, so she isn’t surprised. she expects to find a 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner and body wash but is pleasantly surprised when she sees multiple bottles.

she takes her time showering but is still wary of the time. she debates whether or not to use his body wash but ultimately decides smelling like him wouldn’t be so bad. she does have a pair of pyjamas in her overnight bag, but they consist of an oversized dunder-mifflin tee and casual sleeping shorts. she’s not sure if jay had ever seen her bare legs (what with all the black jeans and all) but he was definitely about to. hailey brushes her hair and scrunches it with her fingers before gathering her dirty clothes and folding them into her bag.

when she pads back into the kitchen in her bare feet, jay has his back to her as he prepares their coffees. after years, he knows almost all her preferences, the first being her coffee order. she hums in delight after her first sip.

jay struggles to not drop the mug when he turns around and sees her oversized shirt and shorts. he was expecting anything, but definitely not that. she looks comfortable and tiny and his heart swells with affection. he has to forcefully remind himself that they are partners and nothing else. It’s getting harder to differentiate.

they stand, sipping their coffee in comfortable silence. it’s perfect and hailey wonders why she put up such a fight in the first place, but then the lights go off and everything is black.

jay swears and she hears his coffee mug scraping against the counter. there is an immediate chill as the heater stops functioning and hailey suddenly regrets being barefoot in shorts. jay goes in search of the fuse box to maybe have some luck but to no avail. instead, he lights up a few candles he has stashed in his linen closet and grabs all the flashlights he owns. the candles do a good job of illuminating the kitchen, so he can still admire hailey and her adorableness in his kitchen.

“shit, i'm sorry,” he chuckles. “looks like it’s a lose-lose situation tonight.”

hailey shuffles in her feet and jay prepares himself. “should i go? i mean, it’s the same thing as my place.”

“nonsense,” jay shakes his head. “i have enough blankets here for the both of us.”

jay finds his way back to the linen closet and grabs all the blankets he owns. will absolutely loves fleece blankets and takes any opportunity to gift them, usually to jay, who rolls his eyes and asks why he can’t just gift him a bottle of alcohol like a normal sibling. jay will never admit that the blankets actually came in handy tonight.

“come on, i’ll set you up in my room.”

hailey follows jay down the corridor and back to his room, where he is laying out multiple blankets. he leaves a few in his hands and stands near the door. “let me know if you need anything,” he says with a smile, “i'll just be on the couch.”

hailey sputters and Jay raises an eyebrow. “you are not sleeping on the couch! the whole point of me staying here is that i wouldn’t be a bother.”

“you're not a bother,” he says for the umpteenth time with an eyeroll.

“then get your ass in this bed because you’re not sleeping on the couch,” she replies, and her sass is finally back; he finds himself smirking.

jay relents, setting down the rest of the blankets. “you’re sure?”

“yes,” she sasses with an eyeroll; she has to make up for lost time. “this bed is big enough for both of us and you promised you’d be a gentleman.”

he holds up his hands in surrender. “absolutely.”

jay excuses himself to the bathroom to change into a pair of sweats. he carries a flashlight with him to provide light. he originally intended to take a shower but can only imagine how disastrous showering in the dark would be. he normally sleeps in much less clothing but it’s cold and he wants hailey to be comfortable, so he slips on a t-shirt as well. when he exits the bathroom and shines his light towards the bed, he spots hailey already curled into the blankets. He notices her blonde hair first and then her trembling body.

he automatically adds the remainder of the blankets on the bed and watches as hailey sits up momentarily. “cold?” He asks with a small smile.

“yes,” she says quietly, but then thinks better of it. “what are you waiting for, halstead? are you going to offer me a hoodie or do I have to go searching for one?”

he is amazed with how comfortable she’s become, and he finds himself smirking as he rummages through his drawers. he pulls out an old sweater from his academy days and throws it at her.  “anything else, your highness?” His sarcasm is on point today.

hailey pulls on the sweater, her blonde hair getting ruffled in the process. “honestly?” she raises an eyebrow. “i just want you to get in bed and keep me warm.”

his eyes widen at her forwardness, but he catches the slight nervousness in the way she bites her lip. she doesn’t have to ask him twice though, as he slips into his side of the bed.

before he has the chance to do anything, hailey turns to him in the dark. "is this okay?” she asks quietly as she cuddles closer.

his hands find her waist to pull her as close as possible and hailey can feel his sweatpants as her bare legs tangle with his. “more than okay. it really is cold,” he whispers, chuckling.

“yeah,” she replies, and he can feel her breath on his collarbone. “i guess this is better than staying in my apartment all alone."

“are you kidding me?” jay laughs. “hell yeah it is. i'm an amazing cuddler.”

he can feel hailey’s hands against his chest. “wasn’t aware we had the cuddling type of relationship.”

jay pauses. “to be honest, i don’t know where i stand with you. like ever. you scare the hell out of me.”

hailey pulls back slightly; she wants to see his face but it’s so dark. “scared of me? i'm like half your size; how can you be scared?”

“you can be very intimidating when you want to be, hailey,” he replies. “but it’s scary. when you don’t know where the other person stands.”

she nods. “i guess so, yeah.”

“i know we’re partners, and we’re supposed to trust each other unconditionally and maybe I’m reading into it too much —”

“you’re not, jay,” she interrupts. “i think i always knew i was going to fall for you eventually. i mean, how could i not?” she continued, oblivious to the fact jay literally stopped breathing. “i’ve trusted you since the day i met you. you have the biggest heart and honestly, i strive to be even half the cop you are every day.”

jay curses again. “shit, hailey,” they’re still tangled together. “it kills me that you don’t appreciate everything you are because you are the best cop i know. and i'll admit it, i didn’t want to work with another female cop because we all remember how that worked out last time,” he chuckles to cover the awkwardness he’s feeling. “but you snuck up on me. what with all your sass and your stubbornness.”

hailey is smiling so wide and it’s a shame Jay can’t see it. she pushes into him, forcing him to roll over on his back and she follows him on his chest. her hands reach up to his face, tracing the smile on his lips.

“i know you love my sass,” she starts. “and who are you calling stubborn, you hardass?”

jay’s hands are on her waist, holding her steady. “fair enough,” he chuckles.

“jay, i love this right now,” hailey says quietly, “i love being here with you and i genuinely see the potential here. but at the same time, we’re partners and our jobs demand so much of us.”

the giddiness he was feeling starts deflating.

“but i don’t want to put the brakes on us,” this catches his attention. “i like you too much for that. i just want to take it slow. see where it takes us. are you alright with that?”

the happiness he was feeling earlier returns at full force and he finds himself grabbing her hips and rolling them over so he’s hovering over her. she’s giggling and honestly, if that is the last sound he ever hears, he’ll die happily. “i'm more than alright with that,” he answers her question. he can dimly see her face and the shine in her gaze. “when taking things slow, how long should i wait before i kiss you?”

hailey smirks and he can see a dim outline. “i think you’re already a few months overdue.”

he wastes no more time in pressing his lips to hers. he tastes of coffee and so does she, and it’s absolutely perfect. there is no urgency, just bliss. this has been a long time coming and now that it’s finally here, all they can do is enjoy it.

“i could get used to that,” hailey mumbles against his lips. his heart literally skips a beat. “i really want to get used to that.”

hailey dives in for more and he lets her. she can do whatever she wants with him, he’ll let her.

“still cold?” he asks after they pull away and he pulls her into their initial position.

hailey chuckles. “that’s not exactly the word i would use.”

jay smirks but he keeps his cool; they’re taking it slow.

“goodnight, hailey.”

he presses a kiss to her temple.

“goodnight, halstead. dream a little dream of me.”

hailey cuddles closer, her lips hovering over his neck.

“i could do that, but i’ve got the real deal right here,” he squeezes her hip. “and i don’t plan on letting go anytime soon.”