#widowed

[pratchettquotes]

"I take it there is no Mr. Ogg?" he said, eventually.

"Oh, yes, there's a Mr. Ogg," said Nanny. "We buried him years ago. Well, we had to. He was dead."

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

[cc-horan28]

Be My Valentine - 9

The Wind, It Held Your Soul

(T) 1.7k

WW2 AU Soldier!Louis Tomlinson x Doctor!Harry Styles (3/3)

Tw death, implied time period accurate homophobia

Harry swallowed, lump in his throat firmly lodged, hands shaking as he glanced down at the little strip of paper.

18 words. They would be emblazoned across his mind forever. 18 words that changed everything. He still remembered the look Gemma had given him as she handed him the paper. 

OR

Harry is widowed in a time he cannot even accept it in public.

A/N: A huge thank you to Ash for helping me figure out the ending! And I love you Nashie and Anna for being there when I was having breakdowns over this! And ofc, ty to Akeyla for holding this fest and these amazing prompts just ah! 

Title from Louis’ ‘Holding On To Heartache’!

Harry swallowed, lump in his throat firmly lodged, hands shaking as he glanced down at the little strip of paper.

18 words. They would be emblazoned across his mind forever. 18 words that changed everything. He still remembered the look Gemma had given him as she handed him the paper. 

He had run from the stables as fast as he could when he’d heard the cook, Mrs O’Leary calling out to him. It had been months since he’d been sent back after a shell landed at the hospital Harry was working in, onfield. He had been waiting so long. He had thought it was a letter- from-

Louis. His Louis.

A sob racked his body as he bent over, paper crumpling as his fist closed down, nails digging into his palm. The pain was the only thing grounding him right now. 

He had to give it everything he had to hold back from screaming. He squeezed his eyes shut, pawing at his eyes with his closed fist. Louis won’t like- wouldn’t- Another wave of anger passed through him as he sobbed, not caring if anyone heard him.

His Louis. The telegram wasn’t even sent to him. Of course it wouldn’t. To them they were nothing. To them they didn’t- couldn’t even exist. None of that mattered. None of it mattered. He wouldn’t even get to hold a funeral for him. He couldn’t face the idea of burying an empty coffin, of having to pretend he was just a coworker- a friend. Like he wasn’t there for the only man he’d ever loved. 

He had no idea how long he stayed curled up like that, lost in thoughts of LouisLouisLouis. It was the cold that finally forced him to sit up, head freezing from where he had been resting it against the glass.

He couldn’t even face moving away from the bay window, going near the fireplace. That would involve seeing Louis’ sofa. 

Harry remembered how he would climb onto him, slotting himself onto the single-seater, legs tangled with his, toasting crumpets by the fire, sipping the tea Harry didn’t even like but had anyway, just to keep Louis company.

This bay window was Louis’ idea. ‘So we can sit together properly’, he used to say with that grin of his, eyes all crinkled up, ‘Without you squashing me,’- Harry ran his hand over the soft leather, smoothened by the years of use. Everything was his, wasn’t it-

He exhaled shudderingly, distantly surprised when he saw it fogging up in front of him. 

His face was cold, tear tracks feeling icy on his skin. He eased his grip on the paper, hugging one of the pillows to his chest as he glanced down,

WESTERN UNION

DEEPLY REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT CAPTAIN LOUIS TOMLINSON IS OFFICIALLY REPORTED AS KILLED IN ACTION JULY NINTH. 

Tears welled up, clouding his vision as he clutched the pillow closer, burying his face in it. He cried loudly, beyond caring if anyone heard him, wailing out Louis’ name plaintively.

He breathed deeply when he pulled back, feeling slightly dizzy. He could have sworn he smelled jasmine and cinnamon. Hints of the Brumes perfume Louis liked- had liked- to wear at home.

Sure, it had said pour femme on the little bottle, he thought with a small, sad smile; but Louis never cared. Neither of them did.

He vaguely registered the insistent knocking on the door and curled up with his back to it, holding on to the pillow.

“Harold. Harry, please.” he heard Gemma say, slowly, like she was measuring each word out, but the slight tremor in her voice gave her away “Harry, don’t isolate yourself. I know- I understand you need space. And time. But this isn’t what Louis would have wanted,”

Harry barely registered what her next words were, all coherent thoughts drowned out by the rush of anger he felt. 

“Don’t you take his name, not just to console me,” he shouted, stalking across the room and throwing the door open, “Don’t take his name, Gemma. Not when you brought me this godforsaken piece of paper.” He waved the said paper around, tears milling in his eyes despite the anger he felt. He knew his anger at his sister wasn’t justified, but he couldn’t care less.

“Don’t,” he repeated, voice breaking as he collapsed onto the ground, sitting on his haunches with his head in his hands. 

“Louis,” he cried, slumping onto the ground, legs a tangle, the carpet cold under him. 

He felt Gemma crouch beside him, whispering something that he didn’t quite understand over his own voice, but he stood up when she did, letting himself be led to the sofa by the fireplace. 

She didn’t say anything, just gently combed through his hair as he stared at Louis’ sofa. 

Louis’ sofa

It hit him at once, and this time he couldn’t even choke out any sounds. Louis’ sofa which wasn’t his anymore. Where he wouldn’t sit anymore. 

Harry was grateful for her silence, her company. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he was left alone right now. He couldn’t fathom why he had wanted her to leave. Not her too-

He felt tears silently run down his face, gruelling visions of Louis alone somewhere, over the Channel, lying in a field threatening to swallow him. He tried to push the thoughts away, curling up into his sister, pulling his feet up, and taking shaky breaths to try and calm himself.

They sat there, Harry quietly hiccupping as he felt his tears dry up, only to be replaced by anger. It wasn’t aimed at Gemma this time, though.

“I didn’t even get the telegram,” he said, voice raspy already, “They didn’t even send it to me. My husband is gone, and they couldn’t even send me a fucking telegram,” His voice was rising, and he felt himself shaking with the intensity of all that he felt. 

“Harry,” Gemma breathed out, sighing deeply and choosing not to say anymore. Harry needed to get it out of his system. 

“They couldn’t because that would mean acknowledging us. They’re too busy pretending we don’t fucking exist and throwing those who protest into jails. I don’t want to erase him, Gem. I don’t want to erase us,” he broke off, closing his eyes as he bent over, forehead resting on his knees as he finally let himself think of Louis, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“I’m not going to pretend,” he said, toying with the congealed dried eggs on his plate, like it was the most natural conversation to have. Like he hadn’t not said a word for two days. “We’ll hold a proper service for him. And I won’t pretend. I won’t talk about how great a person he was, or what a good soldier he was,” 

His voice was raspy from disuse, throat raw from all the crying and screaming he’d done, bouncing between mad anger and complete desolation. He took the glass of orange juice Gemma offered with a silent nod.

She had been an angel, a constant presence, never invading his space, giving him the time he needed to process while still being a rock he could anchor to.

He took a small sip, ignoring the tears that were threatening to spill. He would have time for all that later, but he wanted Louis to have a proper send-off, and so would his sisters. And he knew Louis would have done the same, had the tables been turned. Had it been him killed on the Somme.

He quickly brushed the tears away, almost angry at himself. 

“It’s okay if there’s another service, an official one, for everyone else. But I won’t attend it,” he said as firmly as he could in his state, “Everyone who knew, who cared about him- about us- we’ll have a separate service.” 

That was all he could muster up the strength to say. Gemma stood up, patting his shoulder and kissing his cheek lightly. “He would be proud,” she whispered, “And so am I. I’ll give you some time. Ring for me if you want to talk,”

He pushed the plate away, watching Gemma’s retreating figure silently. He folded his arms and buried his head in them. 

He was used to the silence by now.

He closed his eyes as he threw the last handful of dirt, face tilted up as he let the sun warm his face. The tears coursing down his cheeks still stung against the wind, but the golden glow he saw from behind his eyelids made it just a bit more bearable. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if it was grey and rainy.

Sunny days were Louis’ favorite, Harry thought, biting down on his lower lip. He used to love heading off to Kensington, getting some fresh rolls on their way there and having them by the pond. They always had to sit just a bit too far away, and still got suspicious glares from passersby, but Harry wouldn’t have had it any other way.

None of it changed the fact that Louis was gone and Harry doubted if he would ever entirely come to terms with it. With never seeing his eyes crinkle with laughter, or hear him singing his versions of Vera Lynn’s songs. With never waking up to him sipping his awful unsweetened tea next to him, newspaper rustling as he bent down to kiss him. With never seeing him again.

No, he couldn’t think like that. Louis was always the romantic between them, talks of a beautiful after, free from pain and discrimination and everything they hated being brought up whenever they got even vaguely theological, or drunk, or both.

He couldn’t help but chuckle weakly, thinking back to those evenings together. 

Some day, he would see Louis again. The jasmine in the air, with not a bloom in sight was a testament to that.

They would never fade away. But for now, the silence would have to do.

A/N: again, I'm so sorry i don't know what possessed me to write this. Don't go and reread the first post. No matter what

Reblogs are always appreciated 💕

[angelbxxy]

Hey y’all idk how this works I’ve never been struggling this hard before. My two daughters lost their dad my fiancé a week ago from a heart problem we didn’t know he had. It was sudden and now I have to plan a funeral alone. I never imagined that he would be gone we were just talking about getting a life insurance policy like a month ago but never did it. I already have our two daughters I gotta take care of on 1 income now I don’t know how I’m gonna pull this funeral off of anyone can help us send him up the right way plz consider donating 🥺😭❤️

Cashapp $prettymom18

January 15th 2023🚨⏰⚰️

Update!!!!!

Still waiting on donätîons I currently only have $250(I took out a loan that’s all I was approved for)/$3,400(cost of funeral service and funeral home plus casket. The $3,400 DOES NOT INCLUDE THE BURIAL 🪦🥺😭⚰️😣♥️

Please help us if you are able and I would appreciate it if you can not help us financially, a reblog and prayers will always be appreciated.

RIP my one and only Prince Charming 🥺❤️🪦⚰️

Cashapp $prettymom18

UPDATE JAN15th 8:54pm

Still 0 help but I’m still great full for all the reposts and likes if you know anyone who may be able to help or has a big following on here PLEASE don’t hesitate to tag them in ur repost or just tag them on the comments ❤️🙏

PS my friend said if someone wants to donate but they don’t have cash@pp I can give them her Venmo or chime or PayPal so if that is what is stopping you from donating DM me and I can send you her vënmø or paypãł

Thank y’all again♥️

XO XO XO and GOD BLESS🙏🏽

Katie 🥰⚰️🪦🫶🏽👩‍👧‍👧❤️‍🔥💔✝️

I probably should’ve put this in the original post but I’m having trouble getting donations and I’m doing this all by myself his family hasn’t even called me since I told them he passed and I was a foster kid so I really don’t have anyone to help. The only person that is helping me is financially struggling too but she took out a loan bc my credit sucks so I was denied anyway thank u if u have anyone on here who u talk to a lot see if they can repost it too I wanna get some type of traction lol

UPDATE JAN 16th

Tumblr BLOCKED ME FROM MESSAGES WTF HAPPENED!!!! Someone plz help me get my messages back

Plus still no donations so please keep reposting and thank you for all the support from the reblogs

Jan18 update

Thank you to whoever sent $5 that’s the first and only donation I’ve gotten so far

Please if u can’t donate repost and tag your friends!!! I don’t know what I’m going to do if I can’t raise enough for the funeral, I don’t even have enough for a cremation

Jan 20 update

Im $30 short to start a payment plan with the funeral home I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 9am PLEASE SEND HELP either repost or dono

Anything helps us!

Help us bury my kids dad and my fiancé!

GOD BLESS PRAYERS ARE WELCOME TOO!

Jan 30th update♥️❤️‍🔥🥺😭🚨

So I DIDNT get enough money to have a funeral for my fiancé 😖😭 we had to cremate him and they put me on a payment plan. I still want to have a repass but I need to get a hall or something to gather everyone. The cheapest one I’ve found is $350 for 5 hours

ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED AND HELPFUL

I want to celebrate his short life and the memories we all have with him ♥️

It’s been 3 almost 4 weeks since he’s been gone and life being a widow mother of 2 is a lot harder than I ever imagined. Please repost even if you can’t help ❤️‍🔥

@localmacguffin @laymedowninsheetsoflinen @enderamethyst @transgendz @othert @pixelstx @spongebobssquarepants @queenpandaxoxo @pukicho @shareyourdollar @mutual-aid-booster @horangi @jacklant3rn @bugs-for-hugs @difficult @commie-cosmo @yellowgirl93 @racism-inc @mousedetective @vaspider @shineemoon @queenpandaxoxo

[yourlocaltreesimp]

i miss my wife

i cant boop her.

i miss her sorely.

[lovethisfat37]

Maybe I romanticize things a little too much but there's something so so sacred between a girl and her hot beverage of choice first thing in the morning.

Getting out of bed in itself is a holy act when every fiber of your being is screaming at you to stay in bed and suffer. To keep going with the momentum, making yourself something to eat and a little caffeine as a treat, that takes a kind of courage most people could only dream of.

The decision to keep on living isn't one big moment; it's a million tiny decisions every single day. Maybe a little romanticism is necessary when making those decisions.

[auroranekai]

Vampires my beloved

Widowed more times than you'd expect with her alluring physique, she wears the rings of her former husbands and wives with pride.

[apinchofm]

Twenty minutes

When she wakes on Wednesday morning, two months exactly after the death of Sir Phillip Crane, she bathes for twenty minutes exactly.

Marina Crane, née Thompson, deals with her husband's sudden death and reflects on their marriage.

[sparkythesnarky]

"Eternally chasing your shadow (please don't fly where I can't follow)" Sometimes I wonder what I'm chasing anymore.

Doodle done to try to capture how I'm feeling right now. I know they get a bad rep, but the song "Birds" by Imagine Dragons evokes a discontent and longing I feel so deeply sometimes.

My wife passing away was the worst thing I thing I could ever have considered happening. Those first few days were like a nightmare; I hoped that I would go to bed and wake up to her being there. That it wasn't real. It couldn't be.

It's been six years now and the shadow of her loss still paralyzes me. The subsequent losses from our family, becoming physical ill to the point of disability... I think those would have been something I could live with if she was here with me.

When you spend half your life with your person, when you become half of each other's foundations—to have them ripped away from you without warning feels like I'm living with half a heart.

The good parts of me were grown under our shared sunlight. Watered by the tears we shed that brought us closer. Soil nourished through shedding the parts of us that served us no more. It was not perfect, but it was more than I could have ever hoped for.

When she flew away those beautiful things were swept away in the wind, and I sometimes wonder if what remains is someone she could even love.

[southernwidow]

Fear

I’ve always known fear, but never like I have since becoming a widow. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the future. Fear of leaving this earth before my small children are grown. Fear of leaving my small children orphaned. These fears also fill me with a whole new level of anxiety. The constant worry, the constant lack of sleep from laying awake at night.

I recently-ish went in for a routine eye exam, just to find out that my optical nerves are swollen, and was referred to a specialist. The specialist did his examination of my eyes, and diagnosed me with IIH, Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension. He said he was 99% sure it is IIH, and said that it is the cause for all of my really really awful and debilitating headaches, my vision deteriorating, the whooshing in my ears that sounds like my heart beat is in my ears, and everything else that has been going on.

But then here comes the big drop. “These symptoms also go alongside brain tumors, so we are going to have to send you in for a MRI with and without contrast to check for that before I can 100% say it is IIH. I am however, going to go ahead and prescribe you a diuretic so that we can go ahead and start treatingyou for IIH and the medication get in your system.”

Those words instantly sent me down a whole new road of fear. The fear of what if it is a brain tumor and not IIH? What if it is a brain tumor and I can’t come out on the bright side and leave my kids orphaned? Cancer runs bad on both sides of my family, and my aunt passed away due to a brain tumor when I was a teen. To say I am terrified that this is a brain tumor and not IIH would be an understatement.

I went in today for said MRI and it was awful. My claustrophobia kicked in with 7 minutes left of my MRI without contrast and I had to be pulled out to get some fresh breaths. The MRI with contrast was only 7 minute long but it felt like an hour. I won’t know until sometime next week what the results are, and the unknown is eating away at me.

If you’re experiencing any of the symptoms, please go get your eyes examined and get yourself checked out. Even if it hopefully isn’t a brain tumor, if IIH is left untreated it can lead to total loss of vision.

[hebrewbyinbal]

Relationship statuses in Hebrew!

Whether you're updating friends, filling out forms, or simply curious about how to navigate social situations in Israel, understanding how to convey your relationship status in Hebrew is essential. From single to married, divorced to widowed, and everything in between, Hebrew offers a range of expressions that reflect life's different stages.

We'll start with the basics, covering how to say "single" and move through to more complex statuses, such as "married", and for those whose relationships have ended, we'll cover "separated", "divorced", and "widowed".

Each term will be presented in a clear and accessible way, ensuring you can pronounce and use these expressions confidently in conversation. Whether you're speaking with friends, colleagues, or new acquaintances, knowing how to accurately describe your relationship status in Hebrew is an invaluable skill.

And as always, if you want to become fluent in Hebrew, these bite sized daily lessons are here to expand and practice all your conversational skills acquired in my conversational course - Practically Speaking Hebrew.

[anabojimbo]

December 25, 2023

BITTEN APPLE GIFT MISSING

My Christmas this year was different, the first one without him, very difficult, he was missing, the best host, the best cook, the best DJ, and the best Santa Claus, my bitten apple gift missing by the tree. The Christmas party will never be the same again, without the wine he chose, without artisanal beer, without the smell of cinnamon and food that only he knew how to make, the lamb, and the crackling piglet. But there were many memories, and I can't say it was a tragedy, because a tragedy would be not having anything to remember.

[uschi-the-listener]

We were married 7 years before he died.

Now he has been ashes for 7 years.

I forgot the bad times.

I have no feelings about

The arguments

Absences

Broken promises

Loneliness

I think about our mad adventures

The silly games we played

The long car trips with the deepest conversations

How we laughed and laughed

I have moved on

Remarried

Bought some other house

Filled my time in other ways

Grown old

His ashes are here

He is not in them

I hear his laugh in my sleep

And wake up crying

[lovethisfat37]

I would normally journal about something like this on Facebook, but I don't want to talk to my roommates about these feelings yet so I'm putting them here where they can't see.

It feels really weird to let a man I'm not fucking, and have no interest in fucking, take care of me. He makes my plate every single night, he pays for everything I eat and everything I use. He gives me the weed he grows himself so I can medicate as much as I need to.

He didn't even know me before last Saturday! My friend, his wife, they talked him into letting me come here to be taken care of like I should have been from the moment I became a widow. And he just decided to jump right in the caretaker role.

I never asked to be taken in.

I never asked to be treated like a part of the family.

I never asked for this kind of patience and understanding.

But fuck am I glad someone decided I needed it. Because I didn't realize how bad I was until I got here. And I'm trying so hard not feel guilty or shameful for needing this kind of support right now. I need to let myself not be in survival mode anymore.

[lazydazekid]

Wassup people. How's everyone doing?