#with “its okay not to care about Izzy's feelings after what he did”

[zo1nkss]

Venty slightly ranty thoughts in tags about some takes I've seen on twitter if u don't want to see that

[o-wild-west-wind]

okay, here’s my actual thoughtful post: I get why people are upset about the finale…I really do. but I want to mention that there’s a bigger picture to this story that’s missing if you’re zooming too close onto Izzy as a character, and I’m honestly so grateful that the show stuck to the thematic arc it introduced in season 1 because, as per usual, it’s about the themes 🤌 and this show never skimps on the symbolism!!

so here’s the thing: the primary themes are toxic masculinity (& it’s opposite, queer joy); trauma; love as a healing force for the above; and, title alert—DEATH. because it’s so much more than a cool title!

now, Izzy has always represented something metaphorical about all of these points; most directly, he’s always represented masculinity, and s2 has been an arc of toxicity deconstruction. but crucially, he’s also represented all that for Ed, who is the deuteragonist of this show. because—don’t forget—Stede and Ed are the show.

I’ve always doubted myself for feeling this after seeing how fandom saw Izzy as a third romantic figure (which like by all means have a blast in your fanfics I don’t care it’s about joy at the end of the day and pursue that as you want to), but after hearing something about djenks referring to Izzy as a father figure, it confirms a major point for me—Izzy is also in a lot of ways a parallel to Ed’s dad, and a representation of the trauma and guilt Ed felt from that formative killing. for so long, Izzy was an aggressive shadow in Ed’s life, and a tangible reminder of those daddy issues—someone telling him what to do, keeping him Blackbeard—and the beautiful thing is how that changed this season, how Izzy became a version of masculinity that could love and be beautiful and make good from the hurt, the literal poison into positivity. someone antithetical to his own paternalistic force, healing our daddy issues one drag show at a time. BUT, Izzy is still thematically representative within Ed’s arc—and by also representing the trauma that made Ed “Blackbeard,” it does make smart writing sense as to why Izzy died (NOT saying you can’t be sad about it—stick with me for a moment).

because here’s the thing—as aforementioned, this show is also about DEATH. killing is the root of everyone’s trauma, and reconciling a relationship with death is the ultimate arc Ed and Stede are both on, with the ultimate path of learning to live despite its inevitability. there’s a reason it was such a huge thing that Ed couldn’t personally kill, and then in this episode killed so many people with his bare hands in the name of love—and there’s a reason that was framed as a good thing. and there’s also Ed’s (and arguably Stede’s) active suicidality, which has been a huge force driving this season. these are characters who see death as this all-consuming thing, and they see their own deaths as the only solution. death is the traumatic force driving almost everything about their being for so long—and its reconciliation is everything for them, the greatest sign of growth. so Izzy’s death, and everyone beginning again with love—healing each other with love—is a cap to it all. it’s death as a positive force, for once. it’s death as love, not trauma. it’s death as something that will always happen, but this time not forced by your own hand. it’s a death to everything toxic, to what “Blackbeard” represented, and all the while a sort of rebirth. it’s kind of a death to…death? it’s functionally like the real physical moon replacing the giant romantic imaginary orb: it’s taking the thing that’s been artificially morphed in Stede and Ed’s heads and making it real this time, with all the bittersweet emotions that come with tangible reality.

and honestly, I’m glad that it was tragic and emotional. I didn’t think I’d be so devastated to see Izzy die, but it really did get to me, especially because of everything he said to Ricky and then to Ed. but think of it this way: Izzy and Ed might be romantically compelling because they were toxic and charged (and I hope people still enjoy everything they get from that dynamic in fan work), but imagine if the show had actually gone in that direction—where would it take us thematically? it would kill the thesis; it would be love as chaos and entertainment, but not healing. instead, this show gave us something so much more powerful: a legitimate, fully-fleshed trauma arc.

trauma hurts. Izzy’s death hurts. but that’s okay. that’s great, actually! it means the storytelling was effective—that Izzy’s arc made you feel something. and i know this won’t be every viewer’s experience, but honestly? I’m glad I can have this grieving process in such a beautifully framed light in the safe space ship of this show, because let’s be real—death, real life death, fucks you up. and let me tell you, I could’ve used this show during so many episodes of grief in my life. but here it is now, reminding us that our grief and trauma doesn’t define us—and WHAT a powerful thing for queer love, especially, to be presented as the thing that heals us all. ESPECIALLY when so much grief and death in this community is woven so deeply with the trauma of our identity.

so grieve as you need to, but don’t forget to turn the poison into positivity 💛 because that’s what the show is telling us—choose live, despite!

[forpiratereasons]

i know a lot of people wanted izzy's death to be more meaningful in some way - that if he had to go, that he go out protecting ed, or even stede, or sacrificing himself for the crew. i guess i just want to throw my two cents in and say i loved it, that it wasn't like that. it was kind of stupid, kind of senseless. death is senseless. we so rarely get to see the whole fucking senselessness of it in media in a character we care about.

this one gets pretty personal so i'm gonna put it under a cut

my gran died at the end of july, super out of the blue, and it just didn't make any fucking sense. she was doing so good. the night before, she'd stayed up late, laughing and playing cards and eating blueberries with my mom. and then the next morning she dozed off after breakfast and just. never woke up again. and it was so hard that we didn't see it coming. when my mom called to tell me all i could say was what? what? what? it didn't make any sense, what she was saying. senseless. meaningless. one day there, one day gone.

i work in the legal system, and we see that senselessness a lot. a guy driving his car in the wrong place, wrong time, hit by a drunk driver, gone forever. a neighbor stepping out onto their porch while a fight is going on, someone draws a gun, gone forever. a friend steps between two strangers arguing, steps right into a knife he never saw, gone forever. a child getting a hold of dad's gun, gone forever. an addict chases a high, the dose is off or there's something else in it, gone forever. a dad getting frustrated with the baby, gone forever. a teenager thinking he could make it across the tracks before the train, gone forever. tomorrow i'm going into work to run a med mal case. the surgery went wrong. the nurses didn't notice the signs. gone forever. firearms discharge accidentally. an argument devolves into a fight. a deal goes bad. someone is stronger. faster. drunk. high. negligent. reckless. my work is a fucking parade of people who did nothing to deserve death and everything to deserve more, and yet. and yet.

they forgot to disarm ricky banes. izzy happened to be standing right behind him. gone forever.

that senselessness makes sense to me. i guess it mattered to me to see that play out on screen because that's what i see in real life. that ache is the ache i see in people's eyes when they file into court. in my mom's eyes at family dinner. sure, ofmd is just a tv show, and izzy hands is just a character, but that death reflected something to me that i see every single day in so many people.

i've seen a lot of people say izzy deserved better. so did that guy and that neighbor and that stranger and that addict and that child and that baby and that teenager and my gran.

but death is not about deserving. it doesn't care what someone deserved. it comes or it doesn't. when a creator/writer kills a character, they aren't necessarily saying that character deserved it. they're saying death comes for us all, and right now it comes for this person. that they made izzy's death kind of stupid and kind of senseless reflected reality for me and made me and the death i experience every day feel really seen. the questions it leaves in its wake that you'll never know the answers to.

why is sometimes one of those questions.

you don't have to like it. that's okay. i just wanted to say - just because it wasn't for you doesn't mean it wasn't for anyone. it meant a lot to me.

[suffersinfandom]

A Summary of The OFMD Meta

Sooooo... this is part one of an incomplete summary of A Meta-Discussion Of The Subtext by meratrishoslee (Mera) on AO3 (linked to, as the author requests). I hope it’s helpful to the folks who’ve been curious about it -- heyooo @fahbee and @pushbuttonkitty -- but maybe not quite 90K-words curious! I’m not going to comment on anything; this is meant to be an impartial -as-possible summary.

It's massively long, so this is just the first eight chapters.  

“There’s every possibility you are still in your feelings as you read this, even weeks after the finale. You are in your autonomous knee-jerk reaction, adrenaline-spike, slapped across the face, feeling-so-betrayed-right-now moment. You’re valid. That’s absolutely what’s happened… on the surface. But as you take a deep breath and begin to examine logically what’s in the show and engage with the material both in its text and subtext, you will see a new concept begin to take shape.” (Mera)

Chapter 1: Overview

Some background: Mera was involved with The Johnlock Conspiracy and believes that TJLCers weren’t wrong. (If you want a fun watch, I recommend Sarah Z’s YouTube video.) Essentially, TJLCers believe that Sherlock and Watson of BBC’s Sherlock were supposed to be endgame, and this can be proved with careful analysis. This is often paired with the idea that there is a missing fourth episode to the show’s fourth season that will eventually air and confirm all theories.

Mera defines ‘text’ and ‘subtext.’ Text is “dialogue lines / Shot choices and directions / Visible actions, describable as stage directions.” Subtext is “every single other thing, as well as what is suggested by or can be inferred from the text above.”

“Whenever something doesn’t make sense in the text, it is a BEACON (or maybe even a LIGHTHOUSE) to look at the subtext. Your subconscious mind recognizes subtext long before your conscious mind parses it -- assuming it ever does.”

The rest of the chapter is devoted to short descriptions of Mera’s key assertions with links to relevant chapters and their convention experiences. They cite talking to Con O’Neill at Florida Supercon 2023 as one of their reasons for believing so strongly that Izzy Hands is alive:

I asked him for advice in a specific time of trouble, and he gave me something real that had worked for him. I asked for a hug and he gave that also. 

As I was pulling away I said "I’m glad that I gleaned one absolutely true thing from your portrayal of Izzy." 

“What’s that?” 

I said: "The character (in my original work) that Izzy inspired – when he’s out of pain at last, it’s impossible not to love him." 

That seemed to hit him on an emotional level; he couldn’t hold my gaze after that.  He said “That’s what I’ll be taking with me today.” 

This was July 1st 2023, after completion of the filming of Season 2.  I've thought about it often as the season went on, and how it must have affected him. 

We have to love Izzy so that he'll live.

Mera spoke to Con again at NYCC:

The last thing I managed to get to say to him was: "They gave Izzy Hands a Passion Play." 

"They did?" he asked. 

"Yes, they did!" I replied. 

And I watched that brilliantly swift mind again at work, because he considered it for the briefest beat -- and said in a tone of joy: "They did; yeah, you're right!" 

I remember for the minutes and hours after I was amazed: did he not know, somehow? Did the writers not tell him (and he didn't realize at any time since) that in first quarter of the series they'd given him Gethsemane, a betrayal, a crucifixion (okay, getting shot in the leg and head, but don't get stuck on the details), a burial, and then a full on canonical resurrection?

Con then said another very important thing:

"But I got over it." 

[...]

If Izzy's dead (for real and forever dead) and he knew it, then what he said to me was on a level of cruelty that I could never countenance from him. If Izzy lives, then those words are yet another piece of proof to me that Con was clever enough to be right both for someone who'd only seen five episodes, and someone who would eventually see all eight. 

Chapter 2: The Cup and Ball Trick

The chapter is an extended “game” of cup and ball (where a ball is hidden under a cup and the guesser needs to determine which cup it’s under) interspersed with pictures from OFMD at various points in season two. It ends on a shot of Izzy’s grave where his body definitely isn’t.

The important takeaway: Izzy returns from the dead once to shoot Ed during Ed’s final suicide attempt. Ed returns from the dead after the near-fatal mutiny. Why would you think Izzy’s actually dead and in his grave at the end of the show?

“I didn't cry at the finale -- I was too filled with joy and excitement. I was Mary Magdalene at the grave; I was one of the first to know the truth of the resurrection, whether or not anyone believed me!” 

Chapter 3: OUR LOVE MEANT DEATH

"..because if [Izzy] doesn't [live], with what I know now, his death is a cruelty struck at every queer individual alive or dead since 1981.”

Mera observes that almost no one touches Izzy’s bare skin and Izzy bleeds more than any other recurring character.

There are two times someone touches Izzy’s bare skin: first when his screams are being muffled when he yells at Jim and Archie to kill him, second when Ed puts the gun in Izzy’s ungloved hand during his first go at suicide.

Conclusion: "Izzy is coded with AIDS.”

Ed holding his bloody hand up to the rest of the crew away when Izzy is dying is a “warding-off gesture.” 

Izzy is pale and sickly-looking as he’s dying. “My gorge rises. In the year of our Lord Shiva 2023 -- THEY GAVE THE MOST QUEER CODED CHARACTER ON THE SHOW A FUCKING AIDS DEATH.”

Izzy touches someone else’s bare skin twice in the show, and both instances are Ed. The first is in S1E10 “where he puts his left Death-marked hand on Edward's wrist as he's choking him.” The second is in S2E8 as he’s dying “in his ex-lover’s arms” (notably, this is the same hand with the spade tattoo).

“If Izzy's well and truly dead, for real and stays dead... He is in media both the first historically and the most recent chronologically to receive a full on AIDS death.”

“Until they prove to me and all of us that only Izzy's grief and the specter of AIDS remains in the grave -- and the rest of our beloved boy, our new unicorn (oh hey do you know what Problematic Modern Culture says about unicorn blood?), our pure-hearted risen being, our self-sacrificing queer man, will get his chance to be touched, held, kissed, and LOVED in Season 3.”

Chapter 4: “The Third Was For Death”

“Season 1 was Pinocchio: a wooden puppet wants to become a real boy -- and does!  Hip hip hooray; that was pretty easy.  Wow, the cute tall young guy of the crew lost a finger and the mean nasty short grouch that some people hate and some people like (because they understand him on a visceral, subconscious, subtextual level) lost a toe -- but if that's the worst that happens, we came out okay!”

Season two is “The Monkey’s Paw.” Mera tells the story with pictures from OFMD to emphasize the connections. Importantly, there’s an instance of a couple’s son coming back wrong after a wish (Lucius). The final wish returns the son to his previously-dead state and Mera ends on a picture of Izzy’s grave.

The cast’s and crews’ interviews might not support the real narrative because they’re not allowed to say what they want to (“Ever had to develop code language to hide your queerness from your parents, your teachers, the state?”) They’re all “in distress” and trying to tell us without telling us. 

“Why does the new (old broken down) house smell like death? Why does everything we wished for that we got feel bad? Why does everything we're supposed to be happy about feel sad? How long would it take YOU to spot someone blinking out the word T-O-R-T-U-R-E?”

Mera hopes that the next season won’t tell us certain a new story: George Orwell’s 1984.

Chapter 5: Where Were We? Oh Yes, In The Pit Of Despair

This chapter is about The Princess Bride as it relates to Izzy’s story in seasons two and three of OFMD. It’s a comparison based mostly on costumes and lines; there are no one-for-one character comparisons. Vitally, the plot of TPB is used to predict the next season of OFMD. 

Season two of OFMD ends at the part of TPB when Westley is thought to be dead (Izzy in his grave). Westley is revived, soooo…

“At what point does a preponderance of evidence flip over into fact? At what point does a handful of chance coincidences become planning and architecture? At what point do you go beyond a reasonable doubt into conviction?”

Chapter 6: Birdman and Blackbeard: Or, How To Watch Media

This chapter is about analyzing media. Once you learn how, you stop being a passive watcher.

“Instead you read its rhymes and rhythms like a sonnet. You go to the media in return – you meet it halfway, like a lover. You engage with it. You find themes embedded in the subtext that, once unearthed and examined, continue to inform and expand your experience of the text.”

“The people that like things nice and easy are the ones that watched the finale of Season 2, got angry and upset and – instead of examining those feelings and sitting with them and figuring out why everything felt weird and fucky – wrote it off as bad writing and cruel showrunners, and are already onto the next piece of media to pour into their open eyes and ears.”

And that’s fine! But if you like to think, you interrogate the media and see what else it’s saying.

Mera summarizes The Hero’s Journey through the lens of Orpheus’ story.

Season two mirrors season one almost too well. “...Why are they recreating their first season almost beat by beat? Why is this “second verse, same as the first – only a little bit louder and (in many cases) worse? Then Episode 8 hit… and I realized. They wanted to make sure that, in every conceivable way, the fans had a subtextual map of the meaning of Episode 8. So the mirrors between seasons had to line up almost exactly.”

Now we go into the three-act structure and how the hero’s journey maps onto it. Mera then uses Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance) and to show how they personally analyze meta, but I don’t care nearly enough about what they’ve gleaned from Birdman to go into it here. You’ll have to go read it yourself if you want their methods.

“Remember: Everything on screen in the finished and published movie is a choice. If something doesn’t make sense on a textual level, it is often a signpost (or LIGHTHOUSE) to look at it on a subtextual level.”

Mera points to an article about three-act structure and notes that “fun and games” is both part of that author’s second act and the title of an OFMD episode. 

“Are we being fucked with? Or are we being instructed?”

Chapter 7: If You Strip Away The Myth From The Man

It’s the Jesus Christ Superstar chapter and it’s massive. I’m only including the most substantial comparisons and points.

Mera starts by linking to a gifset of Con talking about Taika saying that Izzy and Blackbeard are comparable to Judas and Jesus (and then Taika and Con sang songs from JCS while getting their makeup done). Notably, Con didn’t specify which character was which.

Blackbeard is a myth created by (of) two men, Ed and Izzy. “there's always two male bodies involved: Jesus and Judas, and both sacrifice themselves to the cause.”

It’s easy to say that Izzy is Judas, but wait -- there’s a better and deeper interpretation! Look at this picture from S1 that resembles the Last Supper and frames Izzy as Jesus! “Now I finally understood. Sure: Izzy is Judas-coded. That's plain for anyone to see. But Izzy is also Jesus-coded… from the under/reverse side.”

Izzy is Jesus-coded for all of season one (even more than Ed), and the comparison is solidified by the end of S2E3: “Izzy Hands is almost fully and directly Jesus-coded, and after Ed's own resurrection (not as an agape-love self-sacrifice for the saving of others, but through selfish personal/eros love alone) Edward is now obviously the betrayer of the whole crew who is permitted to stay aboard only on terms of sackcloth clothing and uneasy tolerance.”

Judas died by hanging himself according to the Gospel of Matthew. The only characters we see hanging are Ed and Stede, which clearly aligns them with Judas. 

Izzy is a good person. He cares about the crew; Ed never does. When Izzy’s wrong, he fesses up to it and apologies; Ed does not (or when he does, the apologies are bad). “Does he lie?  Yes, ostensibly to protect his captain and crew. Is he fairly mean to the Revenge crew until they [...] become his crew? Pretty much, although I could argue otherwise in places -- especially the fact that while Ed throws Lucius violently and bodily off the ship without any warning, Izzy carefully puts the crew on a safe island with a minor fuckery of his own to keep them calm and happy until he leaves. (It's obviously not Edward's idea, although he does permit Izzy to put himself between the deadly Kraken and the Revenge's crew in order to accomplish it.) Is he selfish? Yes, and who of us aren’t sometimes selfish about the people we love?”

Jesus and Judas have massive amounts of sexual tension (yeah, can confirm). Izzy is Jesus-coded because, while he doesn’t initiate contact like Jesus does in JCS, he’s always looking directly at Ed. Ed is Judas-coded because he has a hard time looking at Izzy and finds it difficult to touch him.

“...If Izzy Hands is a queer man who is Jesus-coded, who we see go through not one but TWO passion plays during Season 2... [near-death after having his leg removed, end-of-season death] he is conquering the death of HIV/AIDS and queer grief. He has to die so that he can vanquish that very real death, and arise again triumphant over it.”

“One direct correspondence with Jesus is that Izzy is convinced of one right way to be (whether or not it actually is), and everything outside of that offends him viscerally at this point in the series.” Izzy is convinced that there’s one right way to be a pirate, and Stede’s fucking that up.

And back to AIDS/reverse-Jesus Izzy: “Now among the lepers we're back to the reversal: no one touches Izzy. He’s desperate for it yet can never allow it. Jesus’s touch, kiss, love cures – and everyone seeks it and craves it. They demand it, they swamp and overwhelm him. Jesus's naked touch/kiss/love cures disease -- Izzy's carries and spreads it.”

“Judas/Edward makes his deal with the priesthood/King George to betray Jesus/Izzy – his price is 30 pieces of silver/Stede’s life.” That is, Ed is the one doing the betraying in season one. 

But the real betrayal happens when he cuts off Izzy’s toe and feeds it to him while he’s vulnerable. Important note for the AIDS stuff: “...Edward puts on leather gauntlets immediately prior to this assault -- he ‘gloves up.’ He doesn't have direct naked contact with Izzy's blood or flesh during this scene.” The toe-feeding scene is absolutely framed as sexual assault.

And the toe thing continues into season two. “Sit with that also for a moment: the faux consent of making Izzy remove his own clothing to bare his body parts for this violation. Is it too far a stretch to think that Ed also made him eat each one, in their own private, gristly sacrament? He did threaten to ‘feed him the rest’ after all.”

Here is the outline of Izzy’s first “passion play”:

Izzy's Last Supper: all the toes eaten before as well as the one threatened now. 

Izzy's Gethsemane, wherein he begs his God for the cup to be removed: he tries to bargain his and the crew's way out with his conversation with Blackbeard, to find an alternative to the self-destructive violence. 

Izzy is betrayed by his Judas (again): shot in the leg for the 'crime' of mentioning Stede Bonnet's name, or Blackbeard's affection toward him. 

Izzy descends into the grave: lays in a secret tunnel in what we can believe is the lowest part of the ship, while rotting enough to be smelled throughout.

 Izzy dies: he shoots himself in the head and both we and Blackbeard believe him to be dead.

Izzy is risen: he hauls himself up out of his own grave without assistance from anyone else, crawls to the main deck, reloads his pistol somewhere along the way -- and shows himself to his followers crew at last, in order to bring about their salvation.

Con himself said that this is a passion play, and it takes up a massive chunk of the first part of the season. You don’t throw something massive like that into a show unless you’ve got something bigger coming.

But Judas dies before OFMD ends (mapping OFMD onto JCS), so now who is Ed? He’s Pontius Pilate. There’s the whipping of Jesus (Izzy’s back scars), then Pilate kneels down to hold the bleeding Jesus in his arms. It’s this specific Pieta statue.

“Izzy has to die to conquer his own living death, to end the curse that has kept him untouchable and unable to be loved as he so desperately desires.” There’s the crucifixion for you. Izzy dies and is buried, and we’re still waiting on the resurrection. 

The last shot in JCS is of the empty cross; the last shot of OFMD S2 is Izzy’s grave. “If the cross in the last and arguably the most significant shot of JCS symbolizes the triumph of resurrection and rebirth... the one in OFMD S2 must also.”

Alex Sherman liked one of Mera’s Izzy Lives tweets that he was tagged in. 

Chapter 8: The Dual Substance Of Christ

Now we’re looking at The Last Temptation of Christ. This is another long and involved one, so I’m cutting a lot of minor things that don’t serve the overall meta. (I also know fuck-all about this movie, oops.)

“An argument can be made (and I will attempt it) that Judas in this instance is not only the show creators/writers room of OFMD who had to put their much beloved boy Izzy Hands through all this agony... but also we the Unseen Crew who adore him, who have suffered alongside him through all he's endured, and who want nothing more than to have him back and whole in resurrected triumph.”

TLTC presents another reason to identify Lucius with Mary Magdalene (and notably, Jesus can’t touch Mary -- because Izzy is AIDS-coded). Once again, there’s an immense amount of sexual tension between Jesus and Judas.

This Jesus is angry and this God is fearsome. Judas does a lot of slamming-Jesus-into-walls, much like Ed and Izzy in S1E10. 

Jesus confirms that he is a heart and he loves, which solidifies Izzy’s position as the heart of Blackbeard. 

In his final trial in the desert, Jesus’ final tempter appears as flames. Izzy and Ed both play with flames when they lie.

“Izzy is pretty much Jesus-coded as I explained in the JCS meta… but here also due to the timing and content of this scene, Izzy’s also Lazarus-coded.He dies, he goes into the pit of the grave, he smells of rot, then he is raised from the dead.” Lazarus and Izzy both have a rough time of being alive again and drink about it. 

Jesus says “I have to die on the cross, and I have to die willingly.” This parallels Izzy saying that he wants to go when he’s dying. Judas doesn’t want Jesus to die, which puts him more in line with Jenkins and company than any characters.

“But Izzy has to die, in order to conquer death. He’s lived with the specter of HIV/AIDS that has separated him from loving touch and the sharing of physical intimacy. He has to go into the grave to leave his disease and his queer grief behind, and to be reborn to love.”

On the cross, Jesus says, “Father, stay with me. Don’t leave me.” As he’s dying, Izzy tells Ed, “Sit with me, Eddie.” 

“I feel sick, and I think I’m supposed to. It’s supposed to hurt. Both Izzy's death and Jesus's crucifixion are supposed to be two of the realest and most awful and most beautiful things I’ve ever seen on television.”

In TLTJ, there’s an extended part of the movie where Jesus is in a kind of gravy basket. The events are all kind of odd. They involve Jesus sleeping with Mary (the reborn unicorn, free of AIDS and safe to touch). Jesus returns to his body, suffers, and dies.

TLTJ doesn’t cover Jesus’ resurrection. “We have to trust what we know of the story: that Jesus is risen, and only death itself remains in his grave.”

--

On to the next!

[collinrobinsonsglasses]

Can you do a modern Blackbeard x reader

Or steddyhands x Reader pls

A Birthday Surprise

Steddyhands X Reader (GN)

Summary: Stede, Ed and Izzy surprise the reader for their birthday.

You had been with the two captains and Izzy for a few months now. Sharing their bed, relishing the warmth of their embraces, and basking in their company each day had transformed the ship into the safest haven you’d ever known. Stede was always non-judgmental and supportive, encouraging you to open up about your feelings, something you had previously kept bottled inside. Edward, on the other hand, was tender, constantly seeking opportunities to intertwine his fingers with yours or place a gentle kiss on your forehead. This tenderness extended to all his partners, with a special affection reserved for Stede. Meanwhile, Izzy expressed his love through protective gestures, insisting on training you in swordsmanship and always being by your side during raids. Expressing your love for them was difficult, but you did your best to show how much you appreciated feeling safe and cared for by each of them. 

You stood alone at the bow of the ship, leaning against the rail, lost in contemplation of the endless expanse of the ocean. A chill wind swept down your spine, causing you to shudder. The past few weeks aboard had been unusually cold. Absently, you ran your fingers along the ridges of the wooden railing, a solitary number echoing repeatedly in your mind. 30. Today marked your 30th birthday, a fact you kept to yourself, with no intention of sharing it with anyone. Birthdays had always been a source of disappointment for you, especially when you were younger. You’d raised your expectations too high, only to be let down by family members who seemed to forget about you. Recognizing your role in setting yourself up for disappointment, you decided long ago to keep your birthday a secret. After all, you couldn’t be disappointed if you had no expectations. 

You made your way back to the room you had quietly slipped out of earlier that morning, curious if anyone had stirred awake yet. Upon returning to the captain’s quarters, you discovered Stede seated at the breakfast table, a spread of your favorite foods laid out before him. You halted in your tracks, eyes widening in surprise before turning to face Stede. 

“What’s all this?” you asked in a hushed tone. 

Stede rose swiftly, gesturing towards the array of food spread across the table. “I hope you don’t mind. I asked Roach to prepare breakfast for you. It’s your birthday, after all.” 

“How did you…” you began, but before you could finish your sentence, a memory surfaced. When you first joined Stede’s crew, you recalled him asking each crew member about their birthday, with Lucius diligently recording it in his journal. Back then, you had assumed it was merely for record-keeping purposes, but now, realizing Stede’s genuine nature, you understood he had truly wanted to know. 

A rush of emotion surged through you as you took in the thoughtful gesture Stede had orchestrated. Sensing the change in your expression, Stede swiftly crossed over and clasped your hand. 

“I hope this is okay. I know you didn’t tell any of us, but we wanted to celebrate you,” he expressed earnestly. 

“It’s perfect,” you whispered back, a genuine smile spreading across your face. 

Stede lifted your hand, tenderly placing a kiss upon your palm. “That’s a relief,” he remarked with a long sign before adding, “The rest of the crew insisted on having a party tonight to celebrate you.” 

Though the crew was known for seizing any excuse to celebrate, your smile remained, touched by the unexpected effort made on your behalf. You spent the remainder of breakfast in the company of Stede, engrossed in his tales of his childhood, and he inquired about yours with genuine interest. His sweet smile never wavered, his attention fully focused on you, absorbing every word you shared. As the meal neared its end, Stede paused, his expression suggesting he was contemplating something. 

“What is it, Stede?” you inquired, curious about his sudden change in demeanor. 

“Why didn’t you tell us it was your birthday?” he asked, his fingers finding yours and wrapping around them comfortingly. 

“I just didn’t think it was that important.” as you said those words out loud, you felt a pang of guilt for keeping it to yourself. 

At this response, Stede rose from his seat, leaning in close to you. “Everything about you is important,” he declared softly before sealing his words with a tender kiss. The gentle touch of his lips against yours caused your heart to flutter. Stede had always possessed a remarkable talent for making people feel cherished and wanted. 

After breakfast, you made your way back onto the deck, greeted by cheerful birthday wishes from the crew members you passed along the way. As you squatted down to examine some of the knots on the deck, ensuring they were securely fastened, you suddenly felt a strong pair of hands lift you to your feet. You turned around to face the person who had lifted you, and there stood Edward, hands confidently on his hips, a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Edward rasped, shooting you a disapproving look. 

“Checking knots,” you replied matter-of-factly. 

“As your captain, I’m going to have to order you to stop,” he demanded, though a playful smirk danced on his lips. “No fucking work on your birthday.” 

His words left you wide-eyed in surprise, but before you could respond, he planted a warm kiss on your forehead. Then, with a gentle touch, he turned you around and guided you with his hands on your shoulders towards the bow of the ship. As you reached the beakhead, Edward’s arms enveloped your waist, drawing you closer to him. His lips embarked on a tender journey, leaving a trail of soft kisses along your neck. Overwhelmed by the sensation, you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to simply savor the feeling of his lips against your skin. Edward’s love language had always been touch, so it was fitting that he would whisk you away to simply have his hands on you, expressing his affection through physical closeness. 

He nestled his head next to yours, resting his chin on your shoulder. “You’re perfect,” he murmured softly, holding you in that intimate embrace for quite some time. With playful kisses and gentle caresses, he teased you all the while keeping you securely wrapped in his arms. A part of you acknowledged that simply spending part of your day wrapped in his arms made it infinitely better than any birthday celebration you had ever experienced. Throughout the rest of the day, Edward found any excuse to draw you into his embrace, holding you close at every opportunity. 

As the evening approached, you spotted Izzy nervously pacing the quarterdeck, but his restless movement ceased the moment he caught sight of you ascending the stairs to where he stood waiting. 

“Hey, Iz,” you greeted him, approaching with a soft smile. Tenderly, you used your fingers to brush his hair back from his face. “What’s wrong?” you whispered, concern evident in your voice. 

He reached into his pocket and withdrew a small wrapped package, extending it to you with a bashful glance downward. 

“You got me a gift,” you teased, enjoying the ease with which Izzy blushed at your playful remark. 

“Fuck off,” he grumbled in response, his tone affectionate despite the mild protest. 

You delicately unwrapped the brown paper to reveal a small dagger nestled within. Running your fingers along the top of the blade, you couldn’t help but admire its beauty. 

“To protect yourself. Now that I finally trust you enough not to stab yourself,” Izzy remarked with a wry grin, his words laced with playful sarcasm. 

You secured the dagger at your side, then reached your arms around Izzy’s neck, drawing him close as you pressed a kiss to his lips. Allowing him to pull you even closer, you reveled in the warmth of his embrace. 

You spent the remainder of the night dancing with your partners and friends, immersing yourself in the music and fully embracing the joy of the celebration. Over the flickering glow of the birthday candles on the cake Roach had lovingly prepared, you gazed at the men you loved, your friends surrounding you, and in that moment, you realized that your birthday had been perfect. It had surpassed all your expectations. With a soft smile directed at Ed, Stede, and Izzy, you took a moment to appreciate the love and warmth they brought into your life before blowing out the candles. The rest of the night was spent nestled in the arms of each of your partners, and as the evening drew to a close, you found yourself curled up between Ed and Izzy, Ed’s other hand intertwined with Stede’s. You came to realize that any birthday spent with them would always be perfect, simply because they were all there. 

[alexanderlightweight]

Wednesday prompt - Really enjoyed magic-sensitive Alec being shy about Magnus's wards but how about magic-sensitive Alec who is incapable of resisting Magnus's magic or seeing him as a threat after growing up under the wards Magnus made and unconsciously his magic as a guarantee of safety.

i hope you enjoy where i took this prompt! i had quite a lot of fun considering how it would go!

-

Alec knows that he carries the weight of the Institute’s wards. They slipped to him when he was fifteen, greedy for energy and nestling into his chest with a ferocity that has always shocked him. 

The clave and his parents would love to blame it on magic, but they can’t when the angelic core itself flares the moment they try to deny Alec the claim he’s been given.

So, Alec finds his life changes quickly.

Talk of becoming parabatai with Jace stops, because Alec doesn’t have the room to share his soul, not when the Institute and her wards have already claimed so deep a place in him. It makes things hard and Jace and Izzy are both upset, especially when they find out they can no longer sneak out because Alec has asked the magic to keep them in.

When the wards accepted him, chose him, and the angelic core agreed, Alec didn’t expect to feel what he did. His parents never seemed to notice or mention or mind the weight they carried, but Alec finds himself adjusting to it slowly. There’s a presence when he wakes up, a lingering sense of being watched as the wards attune themselves to him. Alec steps into a hallway and the light adjusts for him, the wards beckoning him around corners when it thinks he needs to hear secrets Alec has no business knowing.

It’s how he finds out about his parents, the degree of their betrayal and Alec is seventeen when he confronts them. He stands firm and straight because the wards are literally pressing against his spine, keeping him on track and in control, protecting him.

And then Alec is alone, just himself and the wards and the core and people he can’t trust and who don’t trust him.

He struggles till twenty and then Mirai shows up, brilliant and attentive and even the magic doesn’t mind her, allowing her closer in a way than it has anyone for years now. It makes Alec warm to her, accepting her into the chain of command immediately and grateful that she was sent to be his second over any other options.

Jace still claims — when he can be bothered to write letters — that he’s training to be Alec’s second, but Alec doesn’t see how that could ever work. It would require Jace to respect and listen to him.

So, Alec settles into the new routine and doesn’t think much of it, until Mirai mentions the wards being updated and the magic around him snaps, excited and delighted and so robust that Alec sees sparks even when he closes his eyes.

“Okay,” Alec says and it’s more to the magic than to Mirai, “let’s call in the High Warlock of Brooklyn, then.”

—

Magnus gets to the Institute, dressed to depress and traumatize every single shadowhunter he sees. His outfit is gorgeous and a taunt, filled with bits of metal and demon pearls and made of abyssal silk that still rustles with the haunting flap of wings.

It’s been over a decade since his services were required and while he would have preferred it to be longer still, he will admit he’s curious about the change in leadership. Very little actual information has leaked its way past the Institute walls and Magnus is hungry to learn what has changed.

It only grows when he portals in and, instead of the neglected weight of his ward arrays, they sing and chime and welcome him with covetous, greedy little whispers that only he can hear.

Something of Magnus’ is here, they tell him. Something they claimed for him, are taking care of and protecting and hoarding for him. It’s with vague amusement that Magnus follows the shadowhunter escorting hm, noticing that he’d been led the same direction his magic is encouraging him to follow.

Magnus is escorted to an office and when he enters, his escort getting out of his way and closing the door behind him, it’s to a young, gorgeous shadowhunter staring up at him in shock.

There are piles and piles of papers, but what Magnus notices first is the mark of his magic, the claim of it pulsing in time to his shadowhunter’s heartbeat.

“Well, aren’t you a delight.” Magnus murmurs, pleased when his words earn him a flush and Magnus feels his magic locking the door into place behind them, ensuring they won’t be interrupted. “You’ve been waiting for me, haven’t you sweetheart?”

His shadowhunter nods, looking too surprised and overwhelmed and Magnus wonders just how deep a claim the magic stole, how much he’s feeling just at being in Magnus’ actual presence, rather than the echo and imprint of Magnus’ magic.

[nadsdraws]

For #happyedizzyweek (over on Twitter)

Prompt: wedding. PREV / NEXT

Ed has never heard of Anne Bonny or Mary Read before but then again he hasn't been home in literal ages. Touring with his band it was easy to forget about his past. About his heartbreak with Stede, about the friends he left at home.

It's fun seeing Jack again, having a beer or two with the absolute disaster of a man but of course Jack is not the only person here. Stede is too, even though they initially hated each other with Jack. What a mess.

Funny how things change. Which is why Ed knew he absolutely couldn't come to Jack's wedding alone. He has not been in touch with Izzy for ages but he absolutely needed all the support he could get. Thank God Izzy never dated anyone and was easy enough to placate and talk into going together.

So here they are now—watching all the couples dancing. Jack is already drunk and Stede had disappeared somewhere on his own. It's just him and Iz now, like it's always has been, sitting by the table on their own.

With the corner of his eye Ed can see Izzy drumming the rhythm on the table as he wistfully watches the couples sway to the music. Ed feels the corners of his own mouth twitch at that. That sentimental bastard, he thinks, hasn't changed one bit.

A new song opens with a gently-strummed acoustic guitar playing a steady, melancholic chord progression. As the drums and bass kick in, there is a distant, ambient swell of an electric guitar in the background.

Ed stands up and extends his hand just as Izzy's head turns to look at him.

"Ed, what are you—"

"Would you dance with me?"

They're the longest minutes of Ed's life as Izzy looks down at Ed's hand and then up at him again, considering, looking for a trap or a joke hidden there somewhere. And Ed could do, could turn it all into a joke and laugh it off like he always did, avoid the rejection that's lurking there.

Or... he could double down.

With Izzy, it was a lottery. He was as likely to follow Ed's initiative as he was to explain in all its painful details why it was stupid and it wouldn't work.

"Come on, Iz, it's just a dance." Ed continues because he is going to say anything to convince Izzy at this point. If plausible deniability is what Izzy wants, Edward will deliver.

"Yeah, okay." Izzy finally takes Ed's hand and stands up and Ed lets out the breath he was holding.

He leads Izzy onto the dancefloor, not letting go of his hand for even a second and then wraps his arms around Izzy's shoulders, Izzy's own hands rest lightly on Ed's hips.

It's strange. Coming here all Edward thought about was Stede. After Stede left him, Edward left the town, blocked him on his phone and every social media he had. Stede still tried to contact him, of course, but Ed only run away further and further.

He thought about it often. Wondered during long sleepless nights if he should go back, if enough time had passed, if he made the right decision. He spent so much time thinking about the what ifs, he completely forgot to think about everything, and everyone, else he has left here.

Coming here all Ed thought about was himself and his worries, he completely didn't expect rediscovering Izzy. Izzy who has never let him down, who has always been there for Ed, who followed his every wish, who got into trouble with him and helped him out of it.

Who Ed left behind.

Edward rests his chin on Izzy's shoulder and grips Izzy even tighter as if letting him go would mean losing him forever. They must look ridiculous but right now he couldn't care less.

"I missed you, Iz," Ed says without thinking, without considering how big of a statement that is or what implications it would have.

The grip on Ed's mid-section tightens as well as Izzy lets out a breath right by Ed's ear. "I missed you too," he whispers like a secret.

Ed pulls back and looks down at Izzy, swayig in the rhythm, looking so unsure. He smiles. Ed is unsure too. He spent the best part of his life chasing after happiness he never found.

"Ed…?" It's barely a whisper, Izzy's gaze dropping down to Ed's lips. It feels like time has stopped, his stomach clenches in anticipation like Izzy wasn't always within his reach, like he discovered him for the first time all over again.

Izzy isn't going to risk leaning in, Ed knows that. It's scary, especially after the breakup with Stede, after learning that promises and kisses don't have to mean anything. But Izzy is not like that, Izzy is... Izzy.

Ed gathers his courage and leans in, pressing their lips together. Izzy responds like he was starving, like he was waiting centuries for this. It feels so right. How could have they missed each other so badly?

He's already thinking where they could get away from here when he hears Jack's voice roaring behind him:

"There you are, lovebirds! Finally figured it out, eh?" Jack shouts over the music, punching Edward on the shoulder. "The barbecue is ready outside, come on!"

Izzy blushes wildly, caught red handed on public displays of affection that he supposedly loathed so much. He looks like he wants to fall through the cracks of the earth. Ed thinks it's adorable.

He nudges Izzy's hand and laces their fingers together. "We better go then, eh?" He squeezes Izzy's hand gently and then leans in to kiss his cheek for good measure, just to keep that blush on Izzy's face for a little while longer.

It would be so easy to get away from here, find some place to hide, just the two of them. He knows Izzy wouldn't be opposed to that. He gets the impression Izzy would follow him anywhere. But Ed finds that he doesn't want to be running away anymore.

He wants to be here, in plain sight, with Izzy.

Always.

"Yeah, let's," Izzy agrees with a smile that looks much more like the old Izzy Edward knows. The one that knew the two of them will always be together.

They leave the building and follow Jack and the rest of the guests outside.

Hand in lovable hand.

~The End~

[delightfullyviolentgirl]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Morgan Stark (can be read as Original Female Character)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Doctor Raynor, Yori Nakajima, Morgan Stark (can be read as Original Female Character)

Warnings: Implied PTSD, nightmares, alcohol.

It was always the same. 

Gunshots.

Blood.

Death.

His fault.

What he did. All those people. All that blood on his hands. Sometimes he thought the trail of blood that followed him could be wrapped around the whole world. The blood of innocent people. And that was what killed him, what disgusted him, what made him sick.

He had been a soldier. He was trained to kill. Killing his enemies didn't bother him, but the people they made him kill were not his enemies. They were innocent bystanders or do-gooders who wanted to annihilate HYDRA.  People who didn't deserve it.

That was the blood that stained his hands, the flesh one and the metal one, innocent blood. 

Everyone told him to not blame himself, that it wasn't his fault. But then, whose fault was it if not his? He had been the one shooting the gun, breaking necks with his bare hands, the one ending lives. It had been him.

His fault.

And every night he was punished for it, for his actions. Just like he deserved.

But some nights, one night in a hundred, his nightmares were interrupted by an angel. An explosion of colors, the sound of thunders, brown eyes. The faint sound of a muttered "thank you". The scent of lilies. Those dreams, sweet as they were, were the only ones he was sad to wake up from.  To be away from that felt like a punishment on its own. One he deserved, like all the others.

That was why he only dreamt it from time to time. It was a punishment, to give him something that he wanted and then take it away from him. HYDRA did it a lot. But with basic things, like food and water. 

That night he had that dream for the third time. The dream that was like heaven on earth. Perhaps it was something egocentric of his subconscious, to remember how he saved someone again and again. To repeat it. Maybe he was clinging to that memory to make himself feel better. Who knew?

Bucky could always ask Doctor Raynor, but he didn't really want to. He didn't want to talk to her more than it was necessary, more than he was forced to. She asked about the nightmares, never about dreams. Never about that dream. That was fine by him. He didn't want to share that part of his life with her. Or any part really.

"Are you still having nightmares?" she asked, clicking the fucking pen time and time again "Be honest"

"No"

That was a lie.

"About the nightmares or about the honesty?"

"Nightmares"

"I've known you long enough to know when you're lying" Doctor Raynor tilted her head "It's a condition of your pardon. So speak."

"No nightmares" he insisted, which was a lie.

Everyday of the week, a nightmare. Except for last night. Last night only the dream.

Just the dream. That beautiful dream.

"Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not"

Doctor Raynor started writing in her notebook, that way she always did when he obviously lied about his nightmares. He was a little curious about what she wrote, given that it happened a lot. Did she repeatedly write the same thing or...?

"Anything positive lately?" she asked after finishing whatever she was writing.

The dream.

"Same as always. I have lunch on wednesdays with a friend, that's positive. Right?"

He never told her who that friend was. He didn't need her scolding him for making friends with one of his many victims. He knew it was fucked, okay? But Yori was so alone. Because of him. (His fault. His fault. His fault) He owned him at least not leaving him alone. Taking care of him. He had to do something good for that man, after he did what he did.

After I murdered his son.

"It's positive enough" she looked at the clock hanging over his head "It's time"

Thank fuck.

It was wednesday, and on wednesdays he went to find Yori and they had lunch together at Izzy's. But each day it was more difficult to get him out of the house, he was getting angrier with the world. Bucky thought that might just be a thing of the age, because honestly he was the same. It was so fucking hard to leave the house. He had to invite him to lunch, always paying for the food. Not that he cared, he had enough money and he didn't even use it. Spending money on a friend was a positive thing, right?

"Same as always" he told the waitress as they took a seat.

They were men of habit, both of them. Which was probably something that came with the age too.

"The youth this days" Yori started his usual talk, but this time he wasn't looking at Bucky, but a group of women sitting at a table nearby. They were new there, Bucky had never seen them before. Which was odd, because Izzy was a business that ran on locals "So wild. I miss that"

Okay, he wasn't expecting that. Normally Yori went on a rant about how the values had been lost, but not today. He seemed nostalgic, looking at the girls who were drinking sake like it was water and laughing at everything with red faces. He missed it too, looking at them, his youth. Getting into fights to protect Steve, dancing all night with beautiful women, running from some angry boyfriend or father. The good old days.

One of the girls rose from her seat and stumbled to the bar laughing, he was surprised she didn't fall with the heels she wore and the amount of sake she drank.

Bucky thought his heart stopped for a moment —which would be normal at his age— when he saw her face. It was her. The knowledgeable brown eyes, the artistic high cheekbones, the long dark blonde hair. The girl he had saved that day during the big fight before Steve...

"What are you looking at me for? Do you want a picture?" The girl quirked an eyebrow.

He had been staring at her, like a damn creep. Ah, fuck. She probably found it weird. Found him weird. By his side, Yori chuckled. 

"No, sorry. I was just..." he swallowed "Have we met?"

He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Jesus, and to think he used to be good at flirting. But that was the 40s and now he wasn't flirting. Right? No, he wasn't. He was just seeing if she remembered him.

"If we had, you would remember me" she replied in a way that sounded so arrogant and bratty and that somehow kept his memories completely as they were.

She turned, her long hair almost hitting his face as she walked away. She still smelled like lilies. Like in his dreams.

[londonspirit]

A show like Our Flag Means Death comes to us all rarely in fandom, consuming us all in such a way that we can’t stop thinking about its characters and how much they all mean to us. Part of that is because the brilliant cast of actors who bring them to life are all so willing to engage with their fans and talk to them, but another part of it is because the show itself manages to give time to each of these characters to help them grow.

That comes down to series creator David Jenkins and his writers, who managed to bring us a wonderful season 2 of our beloved pirates. The show came back for season two at the beginning of October and has been releasing multiple episodes each week, giving fans a brilliant but fast second season. Now that we’re already at the end of it, we’re left hoping we’re get a renewal for season 3 and a bit of a mess after what happened in the final moments of season 2.

I was lucky enough to talk with creator David Jenkins about the finale, and the season as a whole, and what it meant to come back for season 2, to revisit these characters that mean so much to fans, and how it feels to change the perception that some of us have on these characters, like Izzy Hands (played by Con O’Neill).

Spoilers ahead for the second season of Our Flag Means Death!

Talking about the finale, the season as a whole, and the fanbase that really did rally behind this show to make it all possible, Jenkins broke down everything that makes Our Flag Means Death special.

Saying goodbye to Izzy Hands

After season 1, I wouldn’t think I’d be an Izzy Hands fan, and yet, here I am. I did start our chat by telling Jenkins that I thought he should be in jail for making me care so deeply for a character like Izzy only for making me have to say goodbye to him by season 2’s end. He has such a journey from the start of the season, going from being Blackbeard’s right-hand man to a man on the ship without a real purpose and even singing “La Vie en Rose” during a celebration for the crew. All of this warmed the audience to him and left me a mess when Izzy was shot and killed in their final stand, as they tried to flea as a united front of pirates.

Lightly joking with Jenkins about my new feelings on Izzy, I asked how they mapped out Izzy’s growth as a character into what would ultimately be his end. “Con can do so many things and I really did want to give him all the toys to play with,” Jenkins said. “I wanted to give baby everything. He gets to sing, he gets to be there without a shirt, he gets to have a death scene. He has multiple death scenes, gets his legs shot off. He gets to have unrequited love. So I think it was just going logically with what happens when this guy bottoms out from this toxic relationship.”

Jenkins went on to explain what happens after you let Con O’Neill have all his toys. What happens in the aftermath? “And then it was kind of confusing because we’re like, ‘Okay, well how does he come back? What kind of things does he do?'” he said. “‘How does he get a new leg? What is that gonna look like? Oh, it comes from the unicorn. Oh, cool. That’s cool.’ And watching him kind of rebuild himself and realize that he’s loved and he’s part of this community and that he is not a first mate anymore and I think it would be very uncomfortable for him to be on a ship and not first mate. So what kind of things does he get up to? Oh, he whittles. Okay. Oh, he is gonna train Stede because he’s largely bored. Then it was a surprise, I think, to all of us to have him end up as kind of a father figure to Ed and be the one that gives him permission to just be himself.”

Logically, it makes sense that Izzy would not be able to tempt fate once more after facing death multiple times throughout season 2. Still, the idea of not having Con O’Neill in the series’ future hurts.

Embracing the outrageous

When you break down Our Flag Means Death, it is, as Jenkins pointed out about one outlandish moment … stupid—not in a “this show is beyond unreasonable” sense, but it is a comedy. We love our beloved pirates very much, but they are so silly, and when we’re reminded of how silly the show can be, it’s nice—like having Blackbeard (Taika Waititi) find one of Stede’s (Rhys Darby) many letters that he wrote him when they were separated from each other. It’s emotional and sweet, and then out of nowhere, Waititi turns and screams through his tears, “You wrote me a lovely letter,” and I burst out laughing. It is so incredibly stupid that I couldn’t help but cackle, and Jenkins recognizes that the show finds a delicate balance between the beautiful moments and the completely outrageous.

This scene in particular ended up being on of my favorite moments in the finale. It was a long time coming and a setup that really paid off through the season as a whole. Ed wasn’t really in his “Blackbeard” look for most of the season, and he hadn’t read any of Stede’s letters, so for this to be kind of the combination of the two moments really hit.

Then, to have Waititi crying as he yells just really makes it a perfect storm of nonsense. “He’s also come from the sea. He’s also dressed like the rogue warrior. It’s stupid on a lot of levels,” Jenkins said of the scene in question, to which he said, “I love dumb and sweet. That’s a great spot to live in.” That led to us talking about how they manage to bring all of that into the writers room with all their characters in mind.

Spending time with our beloved characters

Our Flag Means Death has a lot of pirates on their ships. In season 1, we had two ships to really worry about. The Revenge met up with the pirates of Blackbeard’s crew, and they worked together for the most part. In season 2, we’re meeting so many other pirates from history and yet we’re still finding that balance between our favorites and the new characters making an appearance on the show. So we talked about how they found a way to bring those sweet moments into the show with these new characters.

Jenkins said, “That is the challenge of making the show because there are so many amazing people in the ensemble and they’re also good and they could all have their own show. And I think making sure each script has something for everybody and they all get something to do, it’s an embarrassment of riches and it is like one of the focuses of the writers room just to say, ‘Hey, who are we servicing? Like, who aren’t we servicing? Can we put them in the script more?’ It’s always the challenge of this show. There’s a billion people on it. There’s so many people on the show. There’s a lot of people.”

That reminded me of one of my favorite developments in season 2, the highlighting of Fang (David Fane). At the end of every episode, there’s a little scene during the credits, and for the most part, Fang was a major part of them. It was a joy to see him have his moment in the sun, and for Jenkins, it was about letting Fane have time to shine.

“Dave always does such sweet things too that are like ‘Oh well, we have to get that in.’ He’s just lovely,” Jenkins said. “There’s a real kindness to him, and I just am so impressed with him as an actor. I think he was already great, but I feel like I really fell in love with him in the second season. Just getting close on his face even is always wonderful. He always gives really such cute, interesting things.”

Music and Our Flag Means Death

The music of Our Flag Means Death is very important to the show as a whole. When the trailer for season 2 included Prince’s “The Beautiful Ones,” I knew exactly what the themes of the season held. It shows not only a love for storytelling through song but also a deeper understanding of the characters and where their emotions lie. So I brought up the use of music in the show as a whole, and Jenkins revealed that there is a rule to the music on the show (even though it isn’t really known to us).

“The only rule is that the music can’t be later than 1989. That’s the rule that Maggie and I agreed on. But then we broke that rule because we’ve got that song ‘Run’ in the second episode when Blackbeard wrecks the ship. And that came out recently but very rarely we break it.” The song he is referring to is “Run From Me” by Timber Timbre and was released in 2014. So, it is “recent” according to their rule, but it’s hilarious that it’s the newest song and is still nearly ten years old. What is so fascinating to me though is that the show uses music to really tell us a lot about its characters.

Jenkins works closely with Maggie Phillips, the music supervisor, to bring to life the feel of these characters and the scenes in such a way that we really understand the feelings of the characters we know and love, so I asked more about the use of things like “The Chain” in season 1 or how music plays into their creation of the season as a whole that makes the season more powerful overall.

“I’ll listen to music a lot and then I’ll make like a playlist that has a lot of songs on it that has like, maybe like a hundred songs on it as I’m listening,” Jenkins said. “And as we’re working through the season and just putting on Spotify and just putting on the algorithm. Sometimes you’ll hear some stuff where you’re like, ‘Oh, I have to get that,’ like Pygmy Love Song is a very weird and that was an algorithm thing where I was like, ‘Oh, that’s gotta be in the show.’ Then Maggie Phillips, our music supervisor, does the same thing. And then by the time she’s sent one, there’s a lot of things that overlap on ours. There’ll be wonderful things on hers that I hadn’t thought of and so it kind of goes as we’re building it. I need to listen to music while we’re putting the season together. Not necessarily while I’m writing, but while I’m kind of thinking through and in pre-production. And then just kind of imagining some of the sequences. You hear some songs and you’re like, oh yeah, that. And then you make a laundry list and then most don’t make it. And then do.”

Don’t worry, fellow pirate fans. I did tell him that we needed the dream pirate song playlist on Spotify. I said it’d be a hit within the fandom, and Jenkins said, “I love that. Well, make a playlist, make one, I’ll join. I’ll put some stuff on. I’ll put some stuff on that I’m not gonna use, but I’ll put some stuff on.”

A show for the fans

One of the reasons Our Flag Means Death became such a hit was because fans could not stop sharing their love for it. I mentioned that while the show itself is so good, the fans really did help to hype it up so people really started to tune in and understand just how good it was. Jenkins also mentioned that he knows we’ve been vocal fans at The Mary Sue, and I did of course say that we were “very loud about our pirates.”

He went on to talk about the excitement and creativity of the fanbase for Our Flag Means Death and how the reaction to the show has been exciting. I asked what the response has meant to him, especially seeing people who maybe didn’t even know who Rhys Darby was prior to this show who are now big fans, learning about his work and embracing his comedy.

“I think seeing the costumes and seeing people dressed up and there was one shot of like all of the different categories of cosplay, of like there’s the Izzy and the Blackbeards and the Luciuses in a line at one of these conventions, it’s like, oh my God, every time I see art I’m blown away, ’cause I just don’t know how people are so creative,” Jenkins said. “And then it happens so quickly. There’ll be art the morning that one of the episodes is released. I can’t get over that and I can’t get over the quality of it. When you see a really beautiful piece of art that’s about a moment that you or a character that you like it’s just moving. It really does make you stop in your tracks.”

A wistful season

As much as we don’t want our pirates to go, the season has, unfortunately, come to an end. Season 2 is over, and with it comes feelings of hope and loss all rolled into one. So for my final question, I asked Jenkins what he hopes season 2 leaves fans with now that we’ve said goodbye to characters like Izzy Hands but have a lot to unpack with characters that we know and love on their new journeys.

“I don’t know, a kind of like a wistfulness,” Jenkins replied. “I think that things change and that change isn’t always bad and that I like that there’s a bunch of different flavors in the end. There’s marriage. There’s a newer couple moving in together and Stede and Blackbeard, I guess they’re not newer, but I mean, maybe they’re not as evolved as Black Pete and Lucius in talking about their feelings. And then the kids drive the car away while the parents watch at the end and whatever adventure they’re heading to. So I just think that, looking at change being inevitable and that it’s not bad. The main thing is that you just want to be a part of something and when something ends, you wanna be a part of something new. Those are good things to take from this.”

Our Flag Means Death season 2 is on Max now, and hopefully we’ll be back with our pirates once more in a third season.

[ravioli-fries]

You ask and you shall receive

About Izzy

Where is she from?(I have seen you draw her island and I'm curious)

How did she meet Rill and what was her first impression of him?

What's her relationship with Charlotte like?

Is she in a squad bc I have never seen you draw her with a robe

If she did in fact go to the Heart kingdom with co, what does she think Lolopechka and the Spirit Gardens?

• Okay so it’s actually a long story for the first once but I’ll shorten it as much as possible !!!!

Her soul, along with hundreds of thousand others, are in a time loop that’s been placed over previously mentioned land by its host gods. These people and gods are heavily inspired off of Mayan/Aztec culture and Mythology.

It starts with war which lasts for centuries before a victor arrises and the winners live within the mountains, to be as close to their gods as possible. This is like their “Golden Age” where the biggest death rate is sacrifices because rituals taste better without the mud, sweat and tears of war.

To the gods this period is like dessert to them, after feasting on the blood of war. This cycle of death happens because like everything else, you need food to survive.

Izel, the last empress of every time loop, will inevitably take her sons warm heart into her hands. Every loop is the same, same people, events, despair, love, so on. One loop however, Izel had a ever so slightly strong conviction.

Skipping over the unfinished complicated part, Izel becomes a resident of the Clover Kingdom as a infant, living in a commoners home and barbershop.

• She met Rill at the age 14, he was 15 and a brand new Magic Knight.

Her entire life she always felt a little empty. This being filled with the discovery of magic archaeology and solving unsolvable puzzles, mysteries, magic items. Izzy is highly intelligent and crafty, but also morally grey.

She steeps herself in the Black Market. Doing dirty work for thieves that aren’t intelligent. Izzy is fully aware she’s being used but is she really, as long as she’s enjoying it?

One thing leads to another and she’s got herself in a government list. They send some magic knights over to arrest her, how hard could it be, she doesn’t even have a grimoire! It turns out when you spend a while dodging knights and the general public you become very good at… (reads notes) Parkour.

This is when she meets Rill! He’s the first to ever catch up to her, which piques her interest of him. But in the end he is still a Magic Knight, coming to ruin her fun.

This goes on for. A full year. Izzy has a grimoire now! Rill, while still doing his job, he mainly goes after her to see her, since he finds her highly fascinating. They chat while the two of them run along, playing tag.

Eventually Rill is met with an ultimatum, if he doesn’t take care of her (her crimes have skyrocketed over time and with her having a grimoire) they’ll send their top Magic Knights after her and take his Grey Deer robe.

One thing leads to another. Izzy isn’t upset with Rill because he’s only doing his job, she just tells him she’ll break out of jail, no big deal, haha! This doesn’t help Rill feel less guilty.

An experienced Grey Deer by the name Matilda of Cloth Magic proposes that Izzy become a Magic Knight so her talents are not wasted. Izzy refuses. She is not a rule type. Sure, the status could give her free access to explore dungeons and Forbidden Books, but what conditions would she have to agree to? Maybe it would be easier to break in…

Without warning Matilda states to Izzy and her fellow Magic Knights she would love to be a Knight. The illusion of free choice.

And with that she begrudgingly became a Grey Deer that did nothing the Captain told her, unless it was a dungeon mission. The Captain caught on and only assigned her jobs that would suit her fancy; knowing otherwise she would be useless.

Then she became an Aqua Deer. Izzy doesn’t wear her robe because she chooses not to! Julius takes a fancy to her and she becomes co head of the department that deals with dungeons and so on.

Despite being morally grey, shes not a fighter. She just doesn’t care enough. But she could break someone’s nose, if needed. She rarely uses her Grimoires magic, depending on her own physical skill to get around. Being a dungeon dweller makes you extremely fit.

Her magic is hyper compressed Storm Magic. Only using is for tool creation and physical enhancement magic. Izzy’s magic in its raw form makes her uneasy. It’s reminding her of something tragic she doesn’t have a memory of…

Her Storm Magic isn’t control over lightning or rain, it’s the control over the atmosphere, temperature and moisture. It’s like having to dance with a wild beast.

Okay I started rambling. I’m sorry. I’m not even done yet.

• I think they have a big and little sister relationship! Izzy was always the big sister growing up so she heavy enjoys Charlottes warm company. Charlotte would actually love to have Izzy in her squad but Izzy refuses. Izzy loves Charlotte though, and deeply admires her, she wants to know everything about her and her curse.

• She actually has been to the Heart Kingdom before the cast did! For entertainment purposes only hahaha. She and Gaja has similar attributes but they don’t mix well!!! Haha, Gaja is weary of her because she just stares at him with her big ol’ eyes. This goes for all the spirit guardians though. And asking them a ridiculous amount of questions and poking around where she shouldn’t. Sarado has to be here favorite. She also has a small girl crush on Lolo hee hee.

Thank you so much for asking me these questions they were soooooooo so so fun to answer !!!!! I love you!!!!!!

[bookshelfdreams]

I feel like this has been talked about and I've just missed it but,

I don't think Ed threw out the stuff in the secret closet. As far as we are aware only steve and ed knew about the closet (and probably Lucius but he's overboard). And I feel like the throwing books over board was still more to please Izzy than because ed wanted them gone (though ed did probably find it carthartic, but notice he wasn't actually involved in that scene...). So did Ed tell Izzy about the secret closet? Is Lucius hiding in the secret closet...

*plunks myself down on the couch next to you*

*offers you a glass of wine*

okay, anon, I need you to know, I am in love with the auxiliary closet. It's such a neat little moment that tells you everything you need to know about Stede Bonnet, but the point at which it comes in the story and the way it's handled both work together to make sure you don't really realize the significance until much later. It's only when you know Oh shit they're not actually queerbaiting us, This Is Happening, that you can acknowledge its full significance and cleverness as a symbol, as a trope, as a shorthand.

Of course it's a joke about being in the closet, but it's true brilliance is that - despite being behind a hidden door - it's not actually about secrets. Stede isn't really ashamed of his clothes-hoarding, or his interest in fashion. The secret door is "just for fun", but it is still something he feels vulnerable about. He uses clothing as a defense mechanism; in a way his colourful silks and embroidered coats are the armour he's hiding behind. He's bright, but it's a distraction. He's like a butterfly with eye spots on its wings, to ward off predators, or like a harmless snake, imitating the colouring of something deadly.

But when he meets Ed, he is bare, in a literal sense, and vulnerable. Ed meets him first without all the frippery, meets him when he cannot hide himself behind anything. (Just an aside, this is a trope I am weak for and I desperately want a reversal of their meet-cute in s2. Take the character who is so guarded and withdrawn, who refuses to let people close and put them in a position where they don't have any other choice but accepting care and gentleness. Good shit.)

And Ed - consciously or not - immediately expresses solidarity with Stede, doesn't reject him for his idiosyncrasies but finds them charming (note how the show put the closet scene under this line in their Blackbonnet supercut, they really were determined to leave no survivors). Using your clothing, the way you present yourself to construct a persona; Ed understands that. Even though he is not really hiding, he doesn't loathe himself the way Stede does, but he still is conscious of how other people perceive him.

So Stede, who despite all his social difficulties desperately wants to be seen, immediately shows him the auxiliary closet. He's showing him the hiding place, lifting the illusion.

Stede leaves his guard down with Ed, even after knowing he's the dread pirate Blackbeard! He gets dressed, yes, but in the least layers we've seen him in so far, with only a shirt and trousers (whenever Stede feels most vulnerable is also when he's the least dressed but that's something else, I need to stop getting off track). He's not putting his walls back up. Stede has invited someone in and he likes it.

And Ed? For the first time, Ed is given a glimpse behind the curtain. He's shown the mechanics of something he's been fascinated with and mystified by all his life. Notice how much the closet looks like a prop room; he's invited behind the stage. Later on, Stede will teach him more about how this particular performance works, will show him what props they use and how they do their practical effects. And even later, in ep5, we see just how much of the aristocracy is theatre, and how little substance there is behind it. And what does Ed do, what's his first impulse when he sees all the costumes?

He wants to play dress-up.

I love him so much.

So, to finally get back to your ask, dear anon, no, Ed didn't throw out the clothes. The closet is a secret he and Stede share, but not the shameful kind of secret, more like an inside joke. It's a visual representation of letting someone in (literally).

And I firmly believe this is where Lucius will hide (maybe not in the closet itself, but they very deliberately said secret passages, plural, and what would be the point of that of not foreshadowing), because Lucius is also a representation of vulnerability. Of kept secrets (the journal! He's the one who writes Stede's journal, who records his thoughts and feelings), and of interpersonal connection. You cannot un-share a secret, you cannot un-know someone after you've seen them; and you cannot throw out the secret rooms that are built into the ship you're currently sailing on. Of course Lucius hides in all the secret chambers of Stede's ship, like the memory of Stede himself still lives in the chambers of Ed's heart.

[starshipsofstarlord]

There was a Girl...

Pairing | Jace Wayland x reader

Summary | When Clary becomes a shadowhunter, she notices how cold and ruthless Jace is. Every one seems to relate to his pain, not resonating at quite the same level. They’re all mourning nevertheless.

Warnings | Mentions of death, brief smut (handjob), angst, heartbreak, unrequited feelings (for Clary)

Requested ✖️

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Opening your eyes, you awoke to Jace's chest, his blonde hair falling over his face. You preferred how it looked when it was a little bit scruffy instead of slicked back, and you reached for one of the hanging strands. They were like seams of gold, reflecting from the light that hid within him.

Most people had the wrong perspective on the young man, they only saw a well skilled shadow hunter. But they ignored the smart and witty, yet simultaneously charming person that he was underneath all of his runes. His parabatai Alec was familiar with the set of abilities that his brother figure had, and all that he would accomplish. People thought, because of Jace’s distorted, and confusing past, that he was just another warrior to serve whatever institute that he was sent to.

But in fact, he was not. His duty would always be, to put his family and friends first. He liked to put you on the top of the list, but you always felt the need to scrap that idea, claiming that you could not be his priority from start to finish. It was as though you knew what you future held for you, and how indeed, he could not manage to protect every person that he cared about. The prospect was a great responsibility, far too much for one shadow hunter, even if they be among the best of their kind.

To put such a weight on your own shoulders was defiantly cruel, it would always end in failure, no matter what was done to prevent said downfall. There was never a possibility of saving everyone, that was insanity. The monsters had to kill, in order for you all to remain outside of Idris, and continue on with your heaven sent duty.

“Jace?” You could tell he was awake from how he smiled at the sound of your voice. “Come on.” It was an attempt to encourage him, but you were quick to realise that it wasn’t working. He didn’t like mornings all that much, for good reason too, after all you were shadowhunters.

“Jace.” Your voice became louder and clearer, up to the point where it no longer sounded like your own. He looked away from the screen, to see the new girl watching him. She had an expectant glaze to her green eyes, which were much different from the shield that was covering his own. His pools were surrounded by a shadow of grief, pulling down the entirety of his face to the point where it looked as though he no longer wanted to live.

And that wasn’t entirely incorrect, he struggled at life, often never finding a moment of happiness, and if he did, then he would paint a smile upon his face and wear it to satisfy everyone else around. He had tried to cope with the loss that burdened his heart so gravely, yet nothing made it feel okay. You’d want him to move on, whether it be to lose his vengeful esteem concerning your passing, or find someone else to confide in late at night, to stay up with talking as his head rested upon the pillow, that he needed to wash, so it didn’t smell like you.

Or even, if not to share a bed with this new person, your overall plan as you sat with the angels above would be to find some kind of peace. But that appeared to be the last thing that he wanted as he digitally scoured the city of New York for monsters to uncover, and kill. If he couldn’t protect you, the love of his life, then he would settle for doing so with humans, after all, that had been the way that you had gone. The job had been your passion, yet simultaneously your downfall, and he’d be fine if one of these days he failed to tackle a beast, and it got to him first.

“Clary.” He greeted her, wanting to remove a dangerous monster from the streets by decapitating it. In memory, he would use your favourite blade, spilling blood upon its glowing stake to keep your legacy continuing, although, it did not do much but serve to release Jace’s frustrations. It was a day in which he wanted to speak to nobody, have nobody following him, nor asking him mundane questions about what it meant to be a shadowhunter. Hell, he didn’t even know! To him, the lifestyle was nothing more than accommodated anguish, though, he had been told not to promote it using those words, otherwise, there wouldn’t exactly be many people lining up to join the adverse fight.

And one of the people that he had in mind concerning excitement over a dire and ‘exciting’ lifestyle was Clary. She was naive, and whilst she didn’t know everything, today wasn’t particularly the day in which he wished to explain it to her. It, being predominantly anything. Whilst he had managed to be nice to her during the first few days, it was out of courtesy, considering Alec had an instant distaste towards the wide eyed redhead; he wasn’t sure why, but he supposed that Clary could see a detail of himself that was hidden from the others.

However, even through Jace’s welcoming exterior, was in pain. The feeling tormented him, denying him a break from the patronising pressure, leaving him to hold blame to nobody but himself. The hurt was cemented into his eyes, reflecting as he watched all other tragedies with a stone cold expressions, them hardly affecting him, because he had and was experiencing the worst routine of torture that was possible to him. He had watched you die, and nothing could take those horrific memories from him, no matter how much he wanted them gone.

That was the last time that he saw you. When you passed in his arms, a large wound in your abdomen pouring out with blood, drowning his desperate hands as he tried his utmost to put pressure on the life threatening injury. He wanted to save you but he didn’t know how, his training had always claimed that killing the monsters was more important than saving the life of a shadowhunter from an unknown bloodline. There had been nothing to prepare him for that day in the field, he was a fighter, and taught to be so, not a healer; he wasn’t a medic, he was just a warrior. “What do you want?” Blatantly fell from his round lips as he cast an eye towards the newbie, unimpressed by her timing, or her presence at all.

Clearly, she hadn’t received the memo to leave him be, especially today out of all the rest. Alec, having the personalised intel as to why Jace was emitting a solitary rut understood why he wished to be alone, and respected the space, granting him as much time to himself as he wanted. And whilst Alec was your friend also, he could feel the deep longing that was stabbing his parabatai in the chest, and it killed him too. Your death had been so unexpected, and now without you, there was a void within the institute. And the archer felt as though Clary was trying to fill it, and he saw that as nothing more than disrespect, though she was probably ignorant to the history that wandered the halls.

Her face revelled back at his tone, but nevertheless she continued on with her prying. “I was wondering if I could join you on the hunt, I’m getting better, Izzy even said so.” Jace refrained from rolling his eyes, and contained the feeling that was trying to burst out of his chest. It was anger, directed at everyone that was still alive, including himself. There was no fairness in it, to say that he was sad was an understatement, he was eternally devastated, the death of you had broken him, crumbled him into a figure that he no longer recognised.

“No, you can’t Clary.” He dismissed her, walking away, and going to grab his seraph so that he could hunt this sucker down, and bring upon the same kind of pain to its family as its kind had down to him. God, did you look badass as you swung it, and the thought alone had tears resonating in his unmatched eyes, thinking of how it was the last relic that remained of you.

Walking casually into the armoury, Jace had his hands prized in the depths of his pockets, as his expert and quick fleeting eyes focalised on you, and the weapon within your hold. Your body leant in harmony with the blade, the sound of it woosh-img in the air satisfying to all that could hear; that being only you and the Wayland boy.

“Can i not train in peace?” You groaned, lowering the blade whence you realised that you were being watched. The eyes trailed up your side where your shirt had ridden up, raking over the rune that you had drew upon your skin only this morning. A light laugh fell from Jace’s lips as he stalked forward, taking your seraph out of your hand, and going to lob it upon the ground, but the stern look in your eyes stopped him. Instead, against his nature, he placed it down as though it were made of glass, and rose to stand before you once more.

“Not when you look that good.” The blonde retorted with a sly smirk, sliding his hands up the sides of your hips, finding absolute solace in the feel of your skin. He could be against you forever, and he would not complain, so long as it did last for such a time. “Makes me want to do things to you y/n y/l/n. Terrible things. What would the heads think?” He asked, in reference to those that were in charge of the institute.

Stifling down remarked laughter at his sensually intended words, you raised your forefinger to the space above his brows, and poked him with enough pressure, so that he would pay attention to the notion. “That you’re not thinking with your own.” You went to cross your arms, but instead, Jace grabbed them, moving down to cast his hand over your own.

“Oh, I’m not.” The shadowhunter confirmed, placing your hand upon the crotch of his sweats, applying enough force behind his grip so that you could feel him twitching. “I am indeed having thoughts from elsewhere, would you like to see my sweet?” Licking your lips, you nodded, watching as he peeled the layer away, wrapping your hand around his base, and giving him a few jerks, feeling his pulse race through his cock.

“Tell me more about what you’re thinking my love.” You bit your bottom lip, fluttering your eyelashes up at him, only to reverberate a groan from the blonde male. He panted as your pace quickened, and he was almost certain that he was going to spray his jizz all over the floor if you did not uphold your sexual administrations. His head leant back, as pleasured sounds broke through the clenching of his teeth.

And then, it all stopped as a voice, dressed in absolute disgust, written over with unmotivated shock, interrupted your little exchange. “Really guys, this is a gym, not your damned bedroom. The two of you really are disgusting!” It was Alec, and he cringed at the fact that he had seen his best friend’s cock being stroked in your grasp. Yeah, he wasn’t going to be training today, or at least, not in the asserted place for it.

“Clary.” Izzy called her name, wearing a short lived smile. Whence she studied the expression of the redhead, she was quick to pay attention to the disappointment upon her face. There was confusion laddered in her skin, masking it with creased that made her look worried all at the same time. “What happened?” The Lightwood woman asked concerned, bracing a hand upon said girl’s shoulder.

“Jace snapped at me.” The newcomer informed her, frowning at the prospect, and then after all that, he had stormed off, as though she didn’t even matter. She felt well and truly rejected, like a newspaper that had been tossed in the street, and ending up in a horrible puddle. “I thought he might have liked me, but his attitude says otherwise.”

Izzy twitched her nose; she knew what day it was. There was no way to break it to Clary easy that Jace had no amorous emotions towards her, and so instead of being blunt with the new resident at the institute, she decided to tell the woman a story. “There was a girl...” she began, knowing that after all was explained, that Clary would understand.

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 3

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: 

--

Bucky tried for several hours to try and get you to open the door. You ignored him, not wanting to see him because you were so angry with him. He promised he would change and make more time for you, and then he leaves you in the middle of sex for her! Dot is his priority, as far as you’re concerned. You roll your eyes as you think about the “trauma” she had. You know she is using their past to manipulate him, and he is being stupid and letting her. Well now he must face the consequences for his actions. 

You stare up at the ceiling of your old room as you again, for the millionth time, hear the knock and pleads of your boyfriend from the other side of the door. “Please, baby. Open up. I’ll let you scream at me, you can even hit me. I know I deserve it. Just let me see you, please,” he begs.

God this is getting pathetic, you thought. You sigh and figure it’s time to give him an earful and some food for thought. You walk over to the door and unlock it, before opening it to reveal Bucky looking disheveled. He still has no shirt on, just his sweats from last night.

“What could you possibly want me to say to you, Bucky? You obviously made your choice in this. You are allowing Dot to manipulate you to keep you away from me. She wants you back, and it’s completely obvious. You say you want to prioritize me, but you prioritized her! I’ve tried to be calm and understanding to what she is going though, but enough is enough!” you yell, causing Bucky to flinch.

He opens his mouth to speak but you continue, “Ever since she found out that we are dating, she has made it her sole mission to separate us. Do you even care that your actions are killing me? Do you even care that I have cried myself to sleep so many times at night that I forgot how to fall asleep without crying? Do you even care that you are shattering my heart with your actions?!” you yell as tears fall down your face.

Bucky now has tears falling as well as he takes in your words. He didn’t realize just how bad he had made the situation. He needed to fix this. He couldn’t lose you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him, and he can’t believe that has been so stupid. He walks up and wraps his arms around you, allowing you to cry in his chest. He buries his face in your neck and cries also.

You don’t know how long you have been standing in your doorway crying, but after some time you pull away. Bucky looks at you with sad eyes, “Tell me it’s not too late for me to fix this. I-I don’t want to lose you,” he says in a raspy voice.

You sigh and look down, “I think I need some time to think about things. You need to figure out where your priorities lie. I’ll stay in here for a bit until I’m ready and then we can talk, okay?” you ask.

It breaks your heart to see the distraught nature of Bucky’s face at your words, but you need him to understand how his actions have made you feel. He nods and quickly pulls you into a hug and then slots his lips on yours in a heated kiss. When you pull away he looks you dead in the eyes, “I’m going to make this right. I am going to show you that you, and you alone are what I want and need. That you are my top priority. I promise,” he says.

As he turns and walks away, you can’t help but say, “Don’t make promises you might not be able to keep.”

Bucky stops and looks at you sadly. He really messed up. He finally turns away and walks back to your shared room, that he will now live in alone. When he closes the door he slides down to the ground and openly sobs. How could he be so stupid. How could he not see what was happening. Now he might lose the love of his life because of his past. 

--

Dot is sitting in her room, feeling rather victorious. She overheard your argument with Bucky, and knows that now that you are separating yourself from Bucky, she will have a better chance to win him back. She sighs at the thought of having her love back with her. She was surprised that he didn’t take her back immediately, as she was his first love. Yes, ok so it was like 80 years ago, but I mean the fact that they were both together after all this time, must be fate.

Suddenly her door opens and shows the man she has been thinking about. Dot looks up and smiles, “Hey Jamie! What’s wrong?” she asks, deciding to pretend she is innocent and knows nothing. Always worked with guys. So easy.

“We need to talk, now,” Bucky says, anger evident in his voice. 

Dot’s smile disappears. She figured he would be upset, but not angry, and not at her. “What’s going on?” she asks with a furrow of her brow.

“This is over, Dot. Whatever you are trying to do, it’s done. I know you are dealing with a lot, but you need to start figuring it out for yourself. I am done putting you before Y/N,” he says.

Dot can’t help but roll your eyes. “Oh is she upset with you again Jamie? I mean I understand being slightly threatened by our past, but she obviously doesn’t trust you. If she can’t trust you, then she isn’t good enough for you. Maybe it’s time for you to cut your loses and return to me,” Dot said.

“She has every reason to be upset! I’ve neglected her! I just want to know... are those panic attacks that you have even real,” he asks.

Dot feigns being offended, “How dare you! Of course they are! Look at all I have gone through! I volunteer for something back in the 40′s and wake up in 2020′s. There is a lot of thoughts and feelings I feel and I don’t know how to process them! Is she saying I am lying?”

“I am saying you are lying. You always seem fine when we are together, but the moment I go to my girlfriend you start freaking out. You are trying to keep me away from her,” Bucky says, his voice raising.

“I feel comfortable with you, Jamie! I love you! Of course I feel better when you are near! It’s not my fault you tried to move on! But tell me this, if you don’t love me like you did, and you love her, why then did you constantly leave your girl for me? You obviously are still in love with me! So dump the girl and let’s be together!” Dot yelled.

“You’re crazy! Seriously you are delusional! You use me being a good friend and a gentleman against me to separate me from the woman that I truly love. Well it stops now! You need to get your ass in gear because it will take me nothing to turn you out of the compound to fend for yourself. If Steve and I can make it work, so can you. And your trauma is nothing compared to what we have gone through. So get yourself together and figure your life out. I am done playing these games with you!” Bucky says before leaving Dot’s room.

Dot sat there stunned at the last outburst. If Bucky thinks that she will go down without a fight to the death for him, then he doesn’t know her at all. Dot always gets what Dot wants. No matter the cost.

--

Bucky knocked on Natasha’s door, trying to calm himself down from his conversation with Dot. Nat opened the door and immediately tried to close it, “Nat please! I need your help,” Bucky begged.

She rolled her eyes and allowed him in. He sat there and told her everything about what happened last night, and this morning with Y/N and Dot. Natasha smacked him upside the head at least 4 times for being dumb. When he was done explaining everything he looked sadly at Natasha, “So will you help me? I have a plan that will allow Y/N the time she asked to think, while also showing her that she is my priority. She is the love of my life. Please?” Bucky begged.

Nat knew how much you and Bucky loved each other. She knew how happy you both were, so she agreed to help. Bucky laid out the plan to Nat and they both agreed to set it in motion. Bucky felt better already. He told off Dot, got your best friend to help him, and now all he needed was to win you back. He hoped he wasn’t too late.

--

Chapter 2 / Chapter 4

Dot is trouble! What plans does he have up her sleeve? Will the reader forgive Bucky? Does he deserve it? 🤷🏻‍♀️Feedback is appreciated!

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[julessworldd]

Requested by anon.. poly guns where the reader has hate from reporters about being with the boys. My poly reader is fem, language, mentions of being drunk, smut implied between Izzy and the reader, reader uses a knife to slash papers!

Being with a famous person has its perks and also the negatives in life. Fans being jealous and saying nasty things because you got with their idol. Reporters need a juicy story so they still have a job and the same with paparazzis. But going out with five rockstars of the biggest band in the world. It has its perks, each boy brings something wonderful and different. I love them with all my heart, would go to war for them. Here lately, nobody has said anything and our relationship has been amazing. Nobody has been fussing at each other, little too amazing to not have a storm coming in. But, why worry about the future if the present is so good?

Duff and Izzy had an interview, I tagged along since we haven’t had a day out. Even if they were working, the other boys had separate interviews and errands. Kelly Nickels and Tracii Gunns had an interview right after the boys. “So what’s Miss Y/n been up to?”, Kelly asked.

“Not much, just been at rehearsals with the boys. What about you guys?”, I asked. “Talking about an album, possibly, got a new car”, Kelly grinned. Kelly had always been one of my friends and supporters since I moved to LA. He was the one who pushed me to be with the boys, “Have fun because life is too short, buttercup”

The door opened, “Let’s go, Y/n”, Izzy said, kinda grumpy like. “Oh okay. See ya guys later”, I stood up and looked at Izzy. “Fucking hate people”, Izzy grumbled. I furrowed my eyebrows, “What happened, Iz?” He shook his head. “Izzy, spill”, I grabbed his hand, rubbing his knuckle with my thumb. “It’s nothing, Angel”, he smiled, rubbing my cheekbone. “Don’t lie to me, Jeffery”, I deadpanned. Duff was outside smoking, “Hey Michael! Why is Izzy being an ass now?” Duff dropped his cigarette. I never call them by their actual name unless I’m pissed off.

“I told you to tell her”, Duff rolled his eyes.

“I’m too pissed off”, Izzy grumbled. Duff narrowed his eyes at Iz. “God damn it, Izzy” “Tell me what?”, I asked. Duff sighed, looking at me with a sad look on his face. “Duff?” He pulled me to his car, “See ya at the house, Iz”

“Please don’t let me find out from MTV later in bed”, I said. “I know. Just don’t want your feelings hurt, baby girl”. Duff sighed, grabbing my hand. “You know we love you very very much, right?” ‘Ah hell, they’re breaking up with me. Now, big bird has to do it, the sensitive romantic one’ my mind said to myself. “The reporter said some very nasty comments about you and the relationship you have with us. Izzy pulled an Axl and left half way through the interview. Cussed the reporter out, I had to grab him before he did anything else. But nothing he said was true, we love you very much, baby”, Duff had tears in his waterline.

“Nothing, I’ve probably not heard before. I love you guys very much, nobody’s comments bother me anymore. Fuck, who cares who I’m fucking or how many at the moment. I wouldn’t trade our relationship for the world”, I sat on Duff’s lap. “I know,

Doodle. But just Izzy is upset and you know he hates reporters being nosey”, Duff rubbed my hip. “Yeah I know.. I love you, Duffy”, I kissed him passionately. “Do you care if I stay with Izzy tonight? He’s upset you know.” “Not a problem, gorgeous”, Duff smiled. “Don’t worry about the reporters okay?”duff said, taking me off his lap. “Fuck em”, I grinned. “Good girl”

We pulled in, everyone was home, everyone had already heard about the reporter. “You think he’s lit?” “Good chance, just come get me if he does anything mean. Love you baby”, Duff kissed my temple. Izzy was in his room, on his bed, bottle of Jack not open. “Knock knock”, I smiled.

“Hi baby doll. I’m so sorry”, Izzy got up from his spot. “Thank you for defending my honor, my knight in shining armor. I love you”, I kissed him, pulling him close to me. “Always will, Y/n”, he laid his forehead on mine. “Don’t tell the others but you’re my favorite”, I giggled. “Our secret, honey”

I woke up before Izzy, heading down to the kitchen. “Good morning” I smiled. “Here’s the mag about you, love”, Slash handed it to me. “Biggest whore in the world?”, I joked. “Just our whore, Y/n/n” Slash kissed my cheek. Y/n L/n, GNR’s latest groupie. Girl is busy with boys of the band 24/7

I walked over to the set of knives, “Excuse me, Duff”, I went back to the magazine. “Y/n!” Duff said as I slashed the magazine to pieces before going outside. “She seen the magazine Huh?”, I heard Axl say as I shut the door.

“Fucking reporters!”, I said, lighting a cigarette.

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Three (Harry Styles)

a/n: part 3 wohoo! thank you so much for all the love you’ve been showing the series, it keeps me going and writing more and more! originally i thought it would turn out to be about three parts, but it has outgrown that limit so i added two more parts to the masterpost, that’s for sure is gonna happen but i might even add more?! not sure, im still in the writing process so i can’t tell how long it’s going to turn out to be, but this just means even more content for you guys!

as always, feedback is very much appreciated, please make sure to share your thoughts and comments on the part, it’s such a huge boost for writers to read what you thought!!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.4k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

When you were working at the daycare you couldn’t focus on photography as much as you would have liked to. You often had to stay in for extra hours, wait until the last kid was picked up and then do paperwork, or change the decoration in your room or whatever Clair asked you to do that day. By the time you got home you just wanted to take a bath and fall into bed. You also had to travel 40 minutes to work which took away a lot of time from your day.

Working for Harry helped you immensely with focusing more on your passion. Even on his worse days he got home by six and since your workplace is your home, you don’t even have to drive forty minutes to enjoy the comfort of your home, you just walk up the stairs to your room and that’s it.

In addition, taking care of Izzy, you still have the chance to work on some editing or snap new pictures. You have time off when she has her classes and when you put her down for her nap. The best thing is that Izzy is quite interested in photography, she gets very interested whenever she sees you bring out one of your cameras and she always lets you take pictures of her, posing and goofing around. The folder on your computer that has her name is growing each day with more and more sweet photos of the little girl that has completely stolen your heart. You’ve been regularly getting your favorites shots of her printed and you always leave them on Harry’s desk so when he gets home he sees them and they make him forget about whatever happened at work that day.

You are getting more and more emails about possible sessions and slowly but surely, your weekends start to fill up with weddings, birthday parties and engagement photoshoots. It seems like you have definitely made the right choice when you took this job. No doubts.

“Can I ask a question, daddy?” Izzy is poking the peas around on her plate as the four of you sit at the dining table at dinner. Ruth has joined you today, because Harry had to make a quick trip to his office in the afternoon and you were out shopping with Trevor today.

“Sure, baby,” Harry hums nodding.

“Why don’t you eat meat?” she asks seriously, eyeing her own plate that has some chicken on it, while Harry’s is only stacked with veggies and potatoes.

“Because I decided that I won’t want to.”

“Can I decide that too?”

“You’re a little too young for that, baby. You need the meat to grow big. When you’re older you can think about what kind of things you want to and don’t want to eat.”

“Okay,” she nods without throwing a tantrum about her dad telling her no. You know quite a few kids who would have flipped over it, but not Izzy. Harry might not even realize how good of a job he is doing raising her and teaching her how to be a good human.

“I have another question,” she announces, glancing up at Harry.

“Go ahead.”

“If you don’t eat meat, does that make you an herbivore?”

You can’t push down a chuckle, you were not expecting this. Your eyes meet Ruth’s over the table, she is enjoying this conversation just as much as you do. It’s cute how Izzy put two and two together and made a seemingly logical conclusion.

“We learned about herbivore dinosaurs this week,” you inform Harry, who is a little lost about why his daughter just called him an herbivore. Also, you’re quite impressed that she remembered the word, though she struggled with it at first, but it seems like it finally stuck.

Harry shakes his head chuckling as he sets his fork down, looking over at Izzy.

“In a way I should be called an herbivore, but that’s not what you call people who don’t eat meat. I’m a vegetarian.”

“Oh, okay,” she nods, wrapping up the information in her head as she keeps eating.

You and Ruth clean up after dinner while Harry gives Izzy a bath, a little earlier than usually, because she spilled apple juice on herself, so he decided to just go straight for the bath instead of changing once more before bedtime.

“Will you be fine with putting these away, Darling?” Ruth asks as you’re drying the last few dishes.

“Sure! I’ll take care of it,” you smile back at her as she nods and heads into the living room.

Harry emerges from upstairs with a freshly cleaned Izzy on his arms. As soon as her little feet touch the floor she bolts over to join Ruth in front of the TV while Harry walks into the kitchen just as you put the last dish away.

“Hey, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” he starts and suddenly, you feel your stomach drop, especially because his face seems very serious.

“Oh God, what did I do?” you ask, feeling yourself panicking already.

“Nothing! It’s not like that!” he chuckles softly, realizing you kind of misunderstood the situation.

“Okay, good. Sorry, you just looked so serious.”

“Sorry, I was just… thinking. So two friends of mine that I work together with also are getting married soon. They had a photographer booked already, but the guy cancelled on them and, um, I hope you don’t mind, but I recommended you to them.”

“Really?” you ask in complete surprise.

“Yeah. Actually, they saw a picture of Izzy that you took in my office and we started talking about how you do photoshoots in your free time and then I told them to ask if you’d be up to do their wedding as well.”

“Wow, that’s really nice of you, Harry. Thank you!”

“I gave them your number, they’ll probably call you sometime next week or so.”

“Great!” you beam, excited about the new event you can work at. “I hope they’ll want to work with me.”

“I kind of hyped you up for them and they seemed very pleased with the pictures I showed them, so I’m sure they will want to,” Harry chuckles softly, even blushing a little. It always amazes you how a tall, muscular guy with so many tattoos can be such a soft, caring and loving person. It always reminds you not to judge the book by its cover.

“Thank you, Harry. This means a lot to me.” Reaching over you place your hand on his arm and give it a gentle squeeze before moving past him to join Ruth and Izzy in the living room.

Harry was right about Sarah and Mitch being all excited to get in contact with you, because they don’t even wait for the next week to reach out. Sunday afternoon you are working on some more editing at the dining table while Harry and Izzy are painting on the other end of the table, busy with their masterpieces when your phone starts ringing, an unknown number shown on the screen.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you answer it, leaning back in your seat.

“Y/N, hi! My name is Sarah Jones, I hope I’m not calling at a bad time, Harry gave me your number this week.”

“Oh! Sarah, yeah! So nice to talk to you!” you beam and Harry’s eyes snap up to you at the mentioning of the familiar name. “Harry mentioned you’d reach out and don’t worry, I’m happy to chat.”

“That’s great. I wanted to wait until Monday, but truth is that we are kind of in a short of time and I was afraid you’d be already busy for our date, so I wanted to call you as soon as possible.”

“No worries.”

“So first and foremost, I’m gonna ask if you have anything planned on the last weekend of May. I know it’s just in a few weeks, but I really hope we can work it out.”

“Let me pull up my calendar,” you tell her as you open up the app on your computer that you use to keep track with your sessions and events. Finding the weekend in question in it, you smile at the empty space. “Good news, seems like I’m free that weekend.”

“Oh thank God!” she breathes out in relief and you let out a chuckle. “That’s so amazing. So then would it be possible to meet up sometime next week? You could show some more works of yours and we can discuss more details, how does that sound?”

“This week? Well I have to work—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“Come into the office tomorrow morning.” “What?”

“Put her on speaker,” he smiles nodding towards your phone and you do as he asked, setting it to the table with Sarah on speaker. “Hey Sarah!”

“Harry, hi!”

“Aunt Sarah?” Izzy’s ears perk up, some pink paint on her cheeks that you have no idea how it got there, because her painting doesn’t even have any pink in it.

“Hi Izzy! So good to hear your voice!” she chuckles through the phone.

“Sarah, you’re gonna be at the studio Monday morning, right?” Harry asks and you can’t not notice how his voice changed the slightest bit as soon as he started talking about business.

“Yeah and Mitch is coming too,” she confirms.

“Okay then how about you come in tomorrow morning, Y/N?”

“But what about Izzy?”

“She can come too. I’ll look after her while you discuss the details, it’s no big deal. It’s been a while since the last time she came to work with me,” he smirks over at the little girl, who is already excited to spend some more time with her daddy at his workplace.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling.

“Thank you, well then I’m okay with tomorrow if it’s fine for you as well, Sarah.”

“That would be perfect! Thank you guys both, Mitch and I really appreciate it.”

“No worries,” Harry nods, going back to his painting. You take Sarah off the phone as you say your goodbye before ending the call.

You start Monday off with some extra excitement. Not just because you are about to get booked for another event, but also because it’s going to be the first time you see Harry at his workplace. He has been quite good at keeping his business separated from his private life, it never really happens that you catch him dwell about anything work related whenever he is home and around Izzy. The phone call with Sarah was like a tiny glimpse of what he might be like when he is in work mode and you’re kind of curious to see more of this side of him.

Just as usual, Harry takes care of Izzy in the morning while you get ready on your own. You want to look good, not only are you going to meet more of his friends, but people he works with. Or should you say, people who work for him.

You choose a light pink dress, throwing a white knitted sweater over your shoulders with a pair of ballerinas. After putting on some light makeup and grabbing your purse and laptop you head downstairs to grab a quick breakfast. Izzy is already sitting at the table, still in her pajamas since her and food are a dangerous combination and Harry always makes sure to get her dressed once she is away from all of that.

“You look so pretty, Y/N!” she beams, her legs dangling from the chair as she digs into her oatmeal. Harry appears from the kitchen and he has the same look on his face like when he saw you leave for that wedding a while ago. A blush paints his cheeks as he slows his steps down, his eyes running down on the length of your body before they return to your face.

“Izzy is right, you look… really pretty, Y/N,” he compliments into your face, unlike last time when you only heard him call you pretty when he thought you were long gone.

“Thank you,” you breathe out with a soft chuckle.

The morning carries on as usual, Harry dresses Izzy for the day and then you all head out, however you stop short upon seeing the various cars parked on the driveway and the double garage.

“Maybe take the Rover, it’s got the child seat in it and I’ll take the Jaguar today,” Harry suggests as he hands you over the keys to the Rover and then nears the car he is taking for the day.

“Oh yeah, you just take the Jaguar, boss,” you chuckle under your breath, finding it a little funny that deciding on which car you’re taking for the day is even a question in someone else’s life.

Izzy sings along the radio as you follow Harry’s car into the label’s building. Of course, it’s not just some simple office building, it’s situated in the riches area of the city and the building is massive with loads of floors and a huge HES Records sign above the entrance where you meet Harry after parking down.

“Good morning, Mr. Styles! Hello, Izzy!” the woman behind the front desk smiles widely immediately, standing up from her chair to hand Harry a stack of envelopes. “Your post, sir.”

“Thank you, Veronica. Have a nice day,” Harry nods in her way as the three of you move through the hall to the elevators. Waiting for it to arrive, you glance at the board on the wall that lists everything you can find in the building and the level you should look for it at. There are endless amount of studios, at least three on each levels, offices, creative rooms and conference rooms. It’s pretty clear that HES Records manages a lot of talents and that requires a lot of space.

Arriving to the twentieth floor, which is of course the top of the building, you are in awe as you realize that the whole floor is basically Harry’s office. There’s a kind of hall area for his two assistants, he has his own conference room, his kitchen and dining area and of course, his office space. The whole place screams power and influence. The modern design of the interior makes it such a fancy work space not just for him, but for everyone else in the building. It’s truly impressive.

“Wow, Harry. This place is… amazing,” you breathe out as he walks the two of you into the conference room where Izzy immediately climbs up to one of the chairs, standing up so she can lean onto the table. Harry walks behind her and adjusts her so she just sits before she could fall off.

“Thank you. I really like this place too. I always thought it’s important to have a great place to work at,” he smiles, clearly proud of how far his business has come. “There’s a mini fridge over there, feel free to take anything you’d like. Sarah texted me on the way here that they’ll be here shortly.”

“Great, thank you,” you nod, taking a seat next to Izzy as you set your laptop up. The glass door of the room opens and one of the assistants peeks inside.

“Mr. Styles, Mrs. Wonstein is on the phone asking for you.”

“Oh, alright, give me a minute and I’ll take it.” The assistant nods and walks out. “Izzy, come with daddy a little, alright? Let Y/N do her thing.” “She can stay, if you want. I can look after her,” you tell him, but he shakes his head as Izzy climbs off the chair and running over to him, she takes his hand.

“No, just focus on this one. I’ll take care of her, don’t worry.”

“Thank you, Harry,” you smile with gratitude as the two of them walk out, leaving you alone. You start scrolling through your folders, wondering which photos you should show Sarah and Mitch, picking out some of your favorites while you wait for them, though they don’t take too long to arrive. Soon enough the glass door opens and the lovely couple walks in.

“Y/N! Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Sarah greets you, wrapping you in a warm hug before stepping aside.

“Hi, I’m Mitch, nice to meet you,” the groom-to-be smiles shyly as he pulls you in for a short hug as well.

“Good to meet you guys too,” you smile back at them as you all sit to the table.

“Thank you so much for meeting us in such a short notice. Our photographer bailed out on us and I was starting to really worry when Harry mentioned that you are doing this kind of stuff in your free time,” Sarah explains.

“No worries. Would you like to go over some of my previous works?” you offer and they both nod in excitement before you start clicking through some old projects.

They share their vision for the whole wedding and the kind of pictures they would like and you like their approach and feel like it’s right up your alley. They both seem to like what you show them and Sarah compliments on how well you are able to catch small, but important moments.

“The wedding won’t be too big, just friends and family, but we do want a lot of memories, it means a lot to us,” Sarah explains and you nod, noting everything she says.

“Harry said you like this oldschool kind of vibe in your pictures,” Mitch chimes in.

“Oh, yeah. I like to make them look like they weren’t taken on a digital sometimes.”

“Do you think you can make some of those for us as well? Not all of them, just a couple,” Sarah asks.

“Sure! It’s more about the editing process, but it’s totally doable.”

You go over a few more things, making sure you’re on the same page, but you feel like things are working out perfectly. Though you guessed they would be great people, it’s still nice to work with such a nice and professional couple. You’ve had some crazy ones before, they definitely don’t make the job easy on you, but it’s not the case right now.

“Okay, so are you sure the date is okay for you? We wouldn’t want you to cancel on anything you had before just because we are Harry’s friends,” Mitch assures you, but you give them a warm smile.

“I’m totally free, don’t worry. Harry doesn’t have that kind of advantage here,” you chuckle softly.

“Thank you so much in this case. You’re truly a lifesaver,” Sarah breathes out in relief.

“Thank you for the trust. I’m really looking forward to working with you guys!”

Finishing up the meeting you pack up, chatting a little out of the business talk with Sarah and Mitch as you head over to Harry’s office.

“Hey! How did it go?” Harry asks as soon as the three of you walk in. Izzy is sitting at his desk, like a little boss, coloring something as he is sitting on the corner of the desk.

“Amazing, we owe you one for suggesting her,” Sarah sighs and you can’t help but just chuckle at how thankful she really is that you could help them out.

“You owe me no more than just one dance at the wedding,” Harry smiles at her.

“Can I dance too?” Izzy’s head perks up.

“Oh baby, you’re not coming to the wedding. You’ll be staying with Grandma, I already told you.” Izzy pouts at her dad, but she doesn’t seem to mind it that much, she quickly goes back to coloring.

“We’ll dance some other time, okay?” Sarah offers her and she nods happily.

“Can I dance with Uncle Mitch too?” she questions and Mitch just smiles down at her.

“Of course,” he hums, curling an arm around Sarah’s waist. “I have a meeting in ten so I’ll head out, I’m gonna pick James up in the afternoon, alright?” He kisses Sarah’s temple before pulling Harry into a brotherly hug. “Y/N, it was so nice to meet you and thank you for everything again,” he smiles at you, enveloping you in a quick hug as well.

“See you soon,” you smile back before he waves his last goodbye and leaves. “Who’s James?” you ask curiously.

“James is our son. He is turning three this year,” Sarah beams proudly.

“Oh! You two already have a son, that’s great! I’ll make sure to snap a bunch of photos of him too,” you chuckle.

“Please, our house is already packed with pictures, but there’s just never enough,” Sarah laughs.

The three of you chat a little longer while Izzy is busy with her coloring, talking about the wedding and whatnot, Harry invites her and Mitch over for dinner sometime and she happily says yes before business is calling her so she heads out as well.

“Okay, come one, little Sunshine. Let’s get home, Rosaline will be over soon for your piano lesson,” you smile down at Izzy who throws all her coloring stuff into one of Harry’s drawers before hopping off the leather seat.

“I’ll see you in the afternoon, okay?” Harry leans down and kisses the top of her head before pressing his lips to her cheek as well.

“Bye daddy, have a good day!” she calls out, grabbing your hand as you head to the door, Harry following behind.

“Mr. Styles, you have a meeting in five with—“ one of the assistants speaks up, but Harry stops her.

“I know, tell him I’ll be down in a minute. And please call Isaac to remind him about his deadline tomorrow,” he asks in that voice again you heard yesterday when Sarah called. There’s just something so intimidating yet exciting in the way he bosses around, but not like an asshole. He is a man in power, but he surely knows how to use it for the good.

“I forgot to talk to you about the time Izzy is spending at my mum’s, please remind me to go over it with you tonight, alright?” Harry asks and you nod as the elevator’s door opens and the two of you walk in.

“Bye daddy!” Izzy waves at him.

“Bye baby, be good! Bye Y/N!” he smiles as the door starts to close.

“See you later,” you smile back before he disappears from your sight.

The meeting with Sarah and Mitch got you buzzing, because it’s gonna be such an intimate yet beautiful wedding and those are your favorite. You can’t wait to start snapping the pictures and make their memories last forever of their big day.

You want to say thank you to Harry for suggesting you to them, so while Izzy is with Rosaline, you make a quick round to the grocery store and get everything you need to make some cupcakes, knowing well Harry loves those. He once told you that he could easily eat a dozen of those if he had the chance, so you think it’s gonna be the perfect way to thank him.

You keep the usual schedule, but after your little learning session in the afternoon, instead of heading out to the backyard to play, you suggest you bake the cupcakes together and Izzy is more than happy to help you.

It doesn’t take long for the kitchen to turn into a warzone, ingredients spilled to the counter all over the place, some music is playing in the background and you’ve been struggling to figure out how to use the different machines around the super modern kitchen.

You go all out with the decorations, you even bought some food coloring so you can make the cupcakes different colors and mess around with the icing and cream as well. You get so busy with the task on hand that time flies by faster than you expected. The two of you are still working on the decorating when the front door opens and Harry walks into the mess you’ve created in the past hours.

“What is doing on here?” he chuckles, seeing Izzy’s hair covered in flour, whipped cream on her nose and cheeks as she is throwing some sprinkles on one of the cupcakes, sitting on the kitchen island counter while you are finishing up another one.

“Oh! I wanted it to be a surprise!” you pout. “Izzy and I are making you cupcakes!”

“Why do I deserve a surprise?” he asks smirking, walking farther into the kitchen as he looks around, finding the mess quite amusing, rather than annoying. Harry knows well enough that it’s not easy to keep the place around you clean when there are kids involved in any process.

“I wanted to thank you for suggesting me to Sarah and Mitch. It was really nice of you.”

“Already told you it was nothing. Of course I suggest them a good photographer if I know one.”

You just smile at him shrugging, because no matter how hard he is trying to play it down, it meant a lot to you.

“Look daddy!” Izzy holds up her cupcake, half of it is covered with sprinkles, the other half is decorated with chocolate chips and she is clearly proud of it.

“That looks great, baby!” he smiles proudly, kissing the top of her head. “You have so much stuff on you, you could easily turn into a cupcake too,” he jokes, making her laugh.

“Be a cupcake with me, daddy!” Izzy beams and before Harry could stop her, she wipes some whipped cream to his face, getting him dirty as well. You gasp before letting out a laugh, Izzy shrieks happily seeing her dad all dressed up fancily and licking the cream off his face.

“Isabelle Styles, you have no idea what you just brought on yourself,” he warns in a low tone, already making Izzy scoot backwards as she is trying to escape, but she doesn’t have anywhere to go, the kitchen island’s edge is right behind her butt. However, she doesn’t realize it and tries to push herself back some more, deeming herself to fall right off, but before anything could happen Harry scoops her into his arms, pressing his creamy face to her cheek, making an even bigger mess that’s already there. Izzy is moving around, laughing and screaming as Harry gets some more cream to his hands, wiping it onto her anywhere he can.

“Oh my God, you are wasting all the cream!” you call him out, but it’s such a sweet moment to witness, you would never blame him for wasting it.

Harry stops attacking Izzy and turns to you with a dark look in his eyes.

“Izzy, I think Y/N looks too clean, doesn’t she?” he cocks his head to the side, exchanging a look with the girl in his arms.

“She does!” Izzy agrees as you start backing away from them. Harry sets Izzy down to her feet, grabbing the bowl with the remaining of the cream. He gets a handful for himself and lets Izzy fill her palms as well.

“Oh no, don’t you dare!” you warn them, holding up your pointing finger at them, trying to escape, but you are kind of cornered against the counter.

“It’s my house, I do whatever I want to,” he smirks, so full of himself and in a blink of the eye, they both launch themselves at you and Hell breaks loose.

They start whipping cream on you anywhere they can and when it’s gone, Harry just decides to go for anything else he can reach. Izzy is throwing sprinkles around while thanks to Harry, flour is flying everywhere, completely destroying the kitchen.

“Stop! No! I surrender!” you scream, fighting back, but it’s two against one.

“No mercy!” Harry shouts, so excited, as if he just transformed into a little boy, throwing mud around.

You grab his wrists when he tries to pour sugar on top of your head straight from the contained, holding him back, but he is so much stronger than you, it’s kind of a lost fight already. You don’t even realize how close he is, your chests are almost touching as he has you pinned against the counter, faces only about two inches away from each other. His wrist slides out of your hold, but he drops the sugar to the counter next to you. You try to snatch it to use his own weapon against him, but he is quick to stop you, forcing your hand down next to your side, but in the process he managed to bring you even closer, flushed against his hard chest and your lips part at the sudden mood change that he must be feeling as well, because the playfulness disappears from his eyes pretty fast and it’s replaced by something entirely different, something you can’t even read, because you haven’t seen it in his eyes before. And then…

Then you see his eyes flicker down to your lips, just a moment before yours move down to his. It’s that moment. It’s that exact moment when you just know you both are thinking about kissing, but you don’t know if it’s going to happen or now. You’re not even sure you want it to happen.

You fucking moron, of course you want to kiss him! That tiny voice in the back of your mind screams at you. In a heartbeat, it seems like he is about to move closer, but then the moment is interrupted and completely destroyed when a woman walks into the house, scaring you to death.

“Wow, it seems like Izzy took over control completely,” she comments, walking further into the house as you jump away from Harry, suddenly very aware of the mess you’ve made.

“Gemma, what—“ Harry starts, but he is quickly cut off.

“Don’t ask what I’m doing here, I literally texted you today that I would come by and you said it’s okay.” She gives him a look before her eyes move over to you as you’re trying to somehow clean everything up, but it’ll take a little longer probably. “You must be Y/N, hi! I’m Gemma, Harry’s sister.”

She steps over to you holding out a hand and you reach for it, but then stop, seeing that your palms are all floury. You both let out a chuckle, deciding to just move over the handshake.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, though it would have been better if we met when I didn’t have whipped cream in my eyes,” you joke.

“Auntie Gemma, we made cupcakes, do you want one?” Izzy runs up to her, holding up a cupcake that was finished, unlike the majority that are going to have poor decorations, since Harry and Izzy decided to use everything in the fight. Now it’s the floor that’s covered with icing, cream and sprinkles.

“Maybe later, sweetie, but they look awesome!”

As you wipe your face with a kitchen towel, you can feel Harry’s gaze on you, your heart beating so fast in your chest, it’s pushing all the blood up into your head that’s already feeling dizzy. What would have happened if Gemma didn’t walk in? Would has he kissed you? Or did you misread the situation and it was nothing just part of the game?

You busy yourself with cleaning up as Harry cleans himself a little with a paper towel before stepping closer to his sister.

“I totally forgot you texted, I replied in the middle of a meeting, I think I didn’t process the message.”

“It’s fine,” Gemma sighs. “I’m already used to my little brother forgetting about me,” she teases him, but he just rolls his eyes at her.

“Let me just help Y/N clean up the kitchen and I’ll be right with you. Would you mind cleaning Izzy off?” Harry asks her, but you stop him short.

“Oh, I’ll take care of this, don’t worry,” you assure him, but as his eyes snap over at you, you lose your voice. He clearly felt the moment as well earlier and now it’s kind of getting awkward, you don’t really want to be left alone with him right now. Not until you figure out what this whole thing was.

“Are you sure? I mean I was the one who started it and—“

“It’s fine,” you try your best to smile at him without overheating. He is standing several feet away from you, but you can still feel what it felt like to be pushed up against him.

Harry hesitates, his eyes following your every move while you are trying to busy yourself and act normal, while you are literally crumbling inside. You almost kissed your boss in the middle of his kitchen, you need a moment to process that.

“Alright, let me know if you need help,” he murmurs before picking Izzy up and heading upstairs to clean them both, Gemma following them right behind. When they are out of your sight, you lean against the counter, breathing out heavily.

Meanwhile upstairs, Harry hands Izzy his phone to play some games while he cleans her and himself off in the bathroom. Gemma sits on the edge of the tub, eyeing her brother curiously, which Harry notices.

“What?” he asks, stripping Izzy out of her dirty clothes.

“What was all that about?”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you, Harry. You were like, ready to snog Y/N right then and there when I walked in. Did I miss something?”

“No idea what you’re talking about and I would appreciate it if you didn’t bring this up when it’s not just the two of us,” he replies firmly, looking down at the girl who is obliviously tapping on the screen. Gemma just rolls her eyes before leaving the two of them alone.

Wandering down she finds you scrubbing the counters from the mess you’ve made, deep in your thoughts. Seeing her walk in, you shoot her a smile, not sure what to say or if you even should say anything, but when she grabs a towel for herself and starts helping, you speak up.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t be silly, I’m happy to help,” she smiles, as she starts cleaning the kitchen island up. “So how do you like working for my brother, so far? He mentioned what happened with the daycare. Honestly, those mothers are entitled spoiled brats,” she scoffs making you smile.

“They weren’t too delightful even before the whole fiasco,” you chuckle softly. “But I really like it here. There are a lot more perks and it’s so much easier to focus on one kid than to have fifteen at a time,” you point out making her laugh.

“Yeah, I’m good with my two, don’t think I could handle more.”

“Oh, you have kids?”

“Yes, two sons. Beau is turning ten this year and Jasper turned six in January.” Gemma pulls out her phone from her back pocket and unlocking it she shows you the homescreen that has a picture of two adorable boys sitting on a bench next to each other, munching on a big bowl of strawberries. The younger one, Jasper has a red sunhat on his head while Beau is rocking some cool sunglasses.

“Oh my God, they look so much like you!”

“I get that a lot and honestly, they really should!” Gemma scoffs. “It took twenty fucking hours for Jasper’s big head to come out!”

“Wow that sounds way too much,” you laugh and Gemma nods with a tired, but clearly proud smile.

“Yeah, but it was worth it. Anyway, after my two boys, Izzy is the little princess of the family.”

“The boys get along well with her?” you ask as you both keep cleaning.

“They act like her big brothers, they get so protective over her!”

“That’s cute.”

“Yeah, they really are. My mom has this summer barbeque every year, if Harry doesn’t invite you with him then I’m doing it now, because you need to see how crazy out family gets,” she smirks at you. “All of our cousins and the kids are there, it’s a whole parade.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot of fun,” you smile at her. “One of my friends in high school had a really big family and they always invited me to birthdays at their place, I loved how lively and buzzing it was always.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to get together from time to time,” she nods smiling. “So do you have a boyfriend or something?” she asks then, implying that she is not even sure if you are playing on the team she is assuming.

“Oh, um, no. It’s just me for now. So no boyfriend for me.” Your answer, making sure it gives her the information she was trying to get as well.

“Are you done interrogating her, Gem?” Harry appears from upstairs, Izzy running ahead of him before smashing herself against Gemma’s legs.

“We’re just having a chat, is that a crime now?” she rolls her eyes. “Swear to God, he is such a control freak sometimes,” she then adds turning to you.

“Would you stop offending me in my own house?” Harry gives him a look. Gemma leans down and picks Izzy up into her arms.

“Izzy, you really should tell your dad to pull the stick out of his as—“

“You are not finishing that!” Harry cuts her off and you can’t push your laughter back. Harry’s eyes meet yours over Gemma’s shoulders and he realizes that you are still all dirty and messed up. “Y/N, go and take a shower if you want. We’ll take this over, alright?”

It wasn’t an order, but you feel like it was a very firm suggestion. He is clearly uncomfortable with you talking to Gemma and though you’re not sure why, you don’t want to upset him, so just nodding you drop the kitchen towel and head upstairs to clean yourself up.

“I hope you didn’t say anything to upset her,” Harry comments as he takes over the cleaning. Gemma grimaces.

“What could have I possibly said? I was just trying to get to know her!”

“You are always a little too up in my business, Gems,” he sighs.

“Daddy, can I watch some TV, please?” Izzy asks, tugging on his pants.

“Sure. Do you need me to switch it on?”

“No, I’m a big girl, I can do it,” Izzy nods before running off, leaving the siblings alone.

“Didn’t know Y/N was your business,” Gemma tilts her head to the side. Harry opens his mouth to defend himself, but nothing comes out. He was caught with this one. “Oh my God. I knew I walked in on something, you have a thing for her!” Gemma gasps with wide eyes.

“Stop with this! You and Niall are like some middle schoolers, it’s so fucking annoying!”

“So Niall sees it too, huh?”

“Niall is an idiot,” he points out. “He is… obsessed with this idea that I should start dating again and he thinks I should make a move on Y/N.”

“Well, he is an idiot, but he has a point.”

“No he doesn’t!” Harry argues, but Gemma just rolls her eyes.

“So you want to die alone? Is that your plan?”

Harry has always hated his sister’s bluntness. She never held herself back when it came to giving her opinion, whether it was wanted or not. But what Harry hates even more is that most of the time… Gemma is right.

He doesn’t want to die alone, no one wants that, but being with someone is a hard topic for Harry after losing the person he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. Even just the thought makes him feel like he is doing something bad, like he shouldn’t even be thinking about anyone but his wife, even years after the tragedy.

“Harry, look…” Gemma breathes out leaning against the counter next to her brother. “I know it’s a fucked up situation and I know things are still not in the right place in your head. But eventually you’ll have to move on. We all want to see you happy and I think that… I think Maggie would want that for you as well.”

Harry tries not to physically cringe at the name, the familiar pain is already clutching his heart, like it has been since the day of the accident. Some days are easier, some days are harder, but Gemma is right. Things are still not in the right place in his head and he knows that, he is just not sure how to fix it at this point.

“I’m not saying you should date Y/N, I’m not Niall to force anyone on you. I’m just telling you to try to get out a little more, just to test the waters. But you obviously like her so if it happens to be her, it wouldn’t be a big deal, if you ask me.”

Gemma shrugs and goes back to the cleaning while Harry keeps his swirling thoughts to himself. Two of the most important people have told him the same thing recently and though part of him wants to stubbornly go against it, his rational side knows that they might be right.

But not much can be done when a man is still blaming himself for the death of his own wife. Because that’s exactly the case when it comes to Harry and no one really knows that the thought has been haunting him for years now…

After taking a quick shower, washing your hair and changing into clothes that are not covered in flour, you join Harry and Gemma downstairs and insist on finishing the rest of the cleaning while they move out to the terrace to talk. The evening goes by peacefully, Harry decides to order dinner and Gemma joins the three of you at the dining table.

You love watching the dynamic between them and they truly seem to be very close. Gemma likes to embarrass Harry with stories from their childhood and you are enjoying them all a little too much maybe, but it’s nice to think that he wasn’t always this confident businessman.

“It was so good to meet you, Y/N!” Gemma hugs you goodbye after dinner.

“You too!”

“Bye Izzy, come and give a smooch for your favorite auntie!” Squatting down she lets Izzy wrap her arms around her neck as she kisses her cheek sloppily.

“Bye Gemma,” she singsongs. Harry pulls his sister into a hug as well before walking her out.

You start washing the dishes, Izzy talking to you about whatever show she was watching earlier on TV. When Harry returns he tells you to just leave the rest of the cleaning up for him while he bathes Izzy, but you don’t listen to him and finish up while they are upstairs.

Bringing your laptop down you settle on the couch and just start scrolling through social media, reading articles and whatnot, the TV quietly playing in the background. You send out an email regarding the wedding you are attending this weekend, making sure everything is in place.

When Harry emerges again he joins you on the couch with a tired sigh.

“Thanks for washing the dishes but you really should just leave it to me when I ask you to,” he smiles at you softly.

“It’s not a big deal, I like to be useful,” you chuckle shutting your laptop down.

“As if you’re not useful enough already,” he huffs smiling to himself. “Oh, before I forget, I wanted to talk to you about Izzy going to my mum’s.”

“Oh, yeah, you mentioned it earlier.”

“Yeah. So she is going to spend a week at my mother’s and I timed it to line up with Sarah and Mitch’s wedding. So I’ll leave her at my mum’s Sunday evening and pick her up the next Sunday which lines up perfectly with the wedding on Saturday. That week is obviously free for you as well, like a paid vacation,” he chuckles.

“Sounds good. How far does your mother lives from here?”

“Just a few hours, not that horrible of a drive. If you’re up for it, we can carpool to the wedding and then pick her up together right from there and head home.”

“Yeah, that works for me, thanks,” you nod.

Harry stays and turns his attention on the TV, seemingly pretty unbothered while you still haven’t stopped thinking about what happened in the kitchen earlier. Glancing over at Harry it appears that it’s not that big of a deal for him, so it makes you settle with the thought that it’s not one for you either.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him grabbing your laptop and phone as you rise from your seat.

“Nigh, Y/N,” he smiles as you round the couch and head upstairs, but you stop at the bottom of the stairs, lancing back at the mop of locks that’s visible from him from behind. You watch him run his fingers through his hair and you let out a shaky breath, knowing well you did not convince yourself that it was nothing. Not for you, at least.

Because you wanted him to kiss you.

The wedding you’re attending is held on a farm owned by the parents of the bride. The whole barn was transformed into this very country like fairytale location, lots of fairy lights and candles along with some nice, pastel colored flowers with a hint of purple between them.

Everything goes planned. Arriving you meet first with the groom and then with the bride in their separated rooms of the house, going over everything they want just one last time before you get down to work, snapping loads of pictures from them getting ready for the big day.

Emily, the bride is a chatty girl and all her bridesmaids are her sisters, coming from a big family with five daughters, she is the second oldest. The groom, Jesse is a few years older than Emily, but they are such a cute couple and they are clearly so madly in love, it’s always nice to see people be so happy with the right person.

You keep going back and forth between the groom and the bride and later you do the first look thing as well, when Jesse stands outside in the field and Emily walks up behind him, letting him see her for the first time. It really is always such a special moment and you tear up as well, watching Jesse fall speechless upon seeing his beautiful fiancé.

As the ceremony is about to start and the guests slowly take their seats on the two sides of the aisle, you make a quick trip down there to make sure you are using the right lenses, not wanting to change a lot when the ceremony has started. You stop in the corner, just trying out if you can shoot some pictures of the guests as well with the lens you are planning to use, you take a look around using the camera and that’s when you almost faint.

You would pick out that face from any, it has grown to you way too much, but you didn’t think you’d ever see him again. Lowering the camera you stare at the tall figure with parted lips, blinking a few times just to make sure it’s who you think it is.

But it is in fact your ex-fiancé, Keith, and to make it even worse, the woman standing next to him with his arm around her waist is the one he cheated on you with. They are still together and now you are staring right at them.

Tears sting your eyes as you try to look for a way to escape before he spots you, though you know he’ll see you sooner or later, but right now they are standing right at the entrance of the barn and you can’t avoid walking past them.

Keeping your head down you try to stay unnoticed as you march towards the exit, but you apparently, you are out of luck.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Keith calls after you just when you thought you were successful in sneaking out. Stopping in your tracks you seriously think about just running off, pretending like you didn’t even hear him, but it’s kind of too late and it would be ridiculous. So turning around on your heels, you plaster the fakest smile on your lips as you look at him.

“Keith, hi!” you breathe out, taking just a few steps closer to him, still keeping some distance between the two of you. Stella, the lucky woman on his arm blinks at you and at first you’re not even sure she realizes who you are or if she even knows you. The longer she looks at you the more certain you become that she indeed does not know that you’re the woman Keith cheated on with her. Nice.

Keith realizes that the two of you have been staring at each other awkwardly, so clearing his throat he quickly introduces the two of you to each other.

“Um, Y/N, this is Stella. Stella, this is… Y/N.”

You can tell he was thinking about using titles, but he decided to leave it at that, though it would have been a lot more interesting if he just titled the two of you.

Y/N, this is the woman I cheated on you with, who is my girlfriend now. Stella, this is Y/N, to whom I was engaged when I was fucking you!

You flash her a quick, not too honest smile and it seems like she is catching onto that something is not right, but she can’t tell for sure.

“What are you doing here?” Keith asks, a little harsher than you would have liked him to talk to you, but it’s kind of understandable. Seeing each other after what happened is not a pleasant experience for either of you, you assume. You hold up the camera as the answer for the stupid question and Keith furrows his eyebrows at you. “Oh, you still to the photography thingy?”

“Thingy?” you ask, quite offended. Keith always belittled your love for photography. He thought it was just a hobby, something that should stay just a hobby and not get turned into anything more. He once told you during a fight that it takes your time away from more important things, like doing chores. That was one of the most sexist things he has ever said to you and you should have packed your stuff right then and there. But you didn’t, stuck around for three more months before you found out about the cheating.

“Well, this thingy is kind of a side job for me,” you inform him.

“Oh. That sounds… fun,” he nods, but it’s clearer than daylight that he thinks it’s just a waste of time. Good thing he has no business in anything about you anymore.

“Um, I’m gonna go now, but I guess see you two around.” You shoot them another fake smile before turning around and walking away from this conversation straight from Hell.

Marching away from the barn you rush into the nearest bathroom you can find. You need a minute. Or maybe two… five. This did not just happen. You didn’t just face your cheating ex-fiancé with the woman he cheated on you, what kind of sick movie plot is this you found yourself in?

Placing your camera to the counter near the sink you wash your hands and sprinkle some water to your face as well before you lean to the edge of the sink, staring at your reflection in the mirror. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost and quite frankly, you would have been happier with the ghost than with Keith and Stella.

You’ve been doing alright since the breakup, but it’s obvious that only because you didn’t have to see Keith. Following the blowup when you found the explicit texts in his phone, you only had to face him twice and never since then. It’s easier to be okay when you don’t have to look at the person who hurt you most all the time, but coming face to face with him now really threw you off, especially with Stella on his arm. The fucker did not only cheat on you with her, but he went straight into a relationship with her and she probably doesn’t even know that she was just the sidechick in the beginning. If you were really evil, you’d go up to her and enlighten her about who you really are, but you are not one to cause a scene. Keith kept the two of you apart consciously, he never let you go into his office because he wanted Stella to think that he is a single man while he was engaged. Sickening to think how slyly he played the both of you and even after his little plan failed, he kept lying to the poor girl and lured her into a relationship. You wonder if he is already fucking another girl behind her back.

Your fingers start to turn white, gripping the edge of the sink tightly so you loosen up a bit, shaking your arms and shoulders off to pull yourself together. You fix your makeup and run your fingers through your hair quickly to give it some volume before grabbing the camera from the counter and heading out. However shocking it is to be at the same place as Keith again, you have a job to do right now and the bride and groom are expecting some amazing photos and that’s exactly what you’re gonna deliver.

You manage to busy yourself to the point where you are able to forget about Keith’s existence for most of the time. Following the happy couple around you don’t get too much free time, the camera is glued in front of your face basically and it brings you some peace. For a while.

Emily and Jesse disappear for an outfit change and it gives you a short break since they didn’t want that to be photographed, only when they return. So you get yourself a virgin cocktail from the bar and head outside to get some fresh air. You text back Heather and Trevor and then just scroll through Instagram, enjoying some alone time from the buzzing you’ve been around all day.

“Y/N!”

Turning to your right you spot Keith walking towards you, this time alone, but it doesn’t stop you from rolling your eyes.

“What do you want?” you mumble under your breath.

“Just… though we could chat for a little. It’s been a long time.”

“Not enough,” you retort. “And I would like to skip the chatting.”

“Come on, you can’t be still that mad at me,” he chuckles and you almost punch him in the face right then and there.

“Well I am. So go back to your little girlfriend and leave me alone.”

“I know things didn’t end too well, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be civil towards each other.” You can’t help the laughter that bubbles from your throat. He can’t be serious, trying to act like the bigger person now after everything he has done to you. This has got to be a joke.

“This is me being civil, because I’m not throwing anything at you. So leave me the fuck alone, let me do my job and then we hopefully don’t see each other again.”

“Come on. You don’t miss me, baby?” he smirks at you, completely ignoring what you just told him. You physically cringe at the pet name he just called you and you take a step away from him, needing the distance more than ever.

“I don’t. Now leave.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Too fucking bad. Now leave!” you raise your voice, but it does nothing. He is still standing there, looking at you like he didn’t completely destroy you just about a year ago.

“Heard that you haven’t dated anyone since we broke up.”

“Are you asking around after me?” you scowl.

“We have a few mutual friends,” he shrugs. “Is it because you still want me?”

“My dating life is none of your business, Keith. And I don’t want you. Quite frankly, I don’t even know how I could ever want you, so now please let me enjoy my break and leave me alone.”

“Y/N, I just—“ Keith reaches for your hand, but you pull back before he could touch you, holding up a finger at him you start talking slowly and very clearly so the message goes through.

“Don’t ever fucking touch me or talk to me. I want nothing to do with you, you’re a manipulating, cheating, egoistic asshole who ruins the life of others. I’m telling you this for the last time, Keith: leave me the fuck alone.”

He looks a bit stunned at your harsh response, but you couldn’t care less if you’ve hurt him. He did way worse things to you than snapping at you. As you walk past him to head back into the barn, he doesn’t let the chance to punch you in the stomach with his words one last time.

“I wish I could say you were a good fuck, but that wouldn’t be true. Good luck finding some lowlife loser who would even think about marrying you!”

Every fiber in your body is screaming to launch yourself at him and punch him until he is unconscious, because that’s exactly what he deserves. The tears are already stinging your eyes, but you don’t give him the satisfaction to see you react to his words. So swallowing hard you just keep on walking until you are out of his sight, bottling up the sobs and tears for the time when you’re home and on your own.

It’s past two am when you arrive home, drained and exhausted, both emotionally and exhausted. Following the conversation you had wit Keith he didn’t try to talk to you anymore, but you could always feel his eyes on you, wherever you were, as if he wanted to see if you are watching him too, but you weren’t. Looking at him would have been too painful so you tried your best to keep your eyes away from him through the night.

You know damn well that what he told you when you were leaving was just to get a reaction out of you, to get you upset enough to start a fight with him, it’s just who he is, he enjoys having the last word and the higher ground in every situation, but you didn’t want to be his partner in his stupid games this time. However it still hurt, what he said.

Walking into the dead silent house you kick your shoes off, drop your keys into the little bowl next to the door and head to the kitchen to get yourself some water. Pouring yourself a glass you lean against the counter and as you stare ahead of you, nothing can stop the tears from falling.

Everything you kept bottled up during the afternoon and evening just hits you all at once, making you break down heavier than any time in the past months. You sob and cry, letting it all out until your head feels like exploding, but you still can’t stop. You were not ready to face the man that broke your heart like no one before.

In the middle of your breakdown you don’t even realize the footsteps coming from the stairs.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice calls out, snapping you out of your pity party. He immediately sees that you’ve been crying like a baby, no doubt, but you still try to wipe your cheeks and eyes, pretending like everything is totally fine.

“Harry! What are you doing up so late?” you breathe out hoarsely.

“Just wanted to get some water, but have you been crying? What happened, are you alright?” he starts bombarding you with questions, clearly worried about you, seeing you in this state.

“Everything is fine, I just… had a rough night,” you chuckle through your tears that are still rolling down your cheeks, those bastards!

“A rough night doesn’t make you sob like this. What happened?” Rounding the kitchen island he stops in front of you, not sure how to approach the situation, but it’s kind of sweet how he wants to help, but doesn’t know how.

“I, uhh—I met my… ex-fiancé tonight. He was at the wedding I worked at,” you mumble shutting your eyes closed.

“Did he hurt you? Y/N, if he laid a hand on you, I swear—“ “No, he didn’t hurt me,” you shake your head before adding: “Well, not physically.”

“Come on, let’s sit down for a bit.” He gently takes your hand and pulls you to the couch in the living room, making you sit before he plops down next to you. “Tell me what happened.”

“It’s really stupid, I shouldn’t be this upset about it, but I just… It hurt and I can’t change it,” you whine, wiping some more tears away.

“I’m sure it’s not stupid. Tell me what happened!”

“He was there with the woman he cheated on me with. They are basically a couple now, but she doesn’t even know that Keith was engaged to me when they started dating, so it’s really fucked up. And it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, because, you know, fuck him, he can do whatever he wants, it’s not my business anymore, but then he came up to me and tried to chitchat with me, which I didn’t really want, of course.”

Harry listens carefully, giving you his undivided attention while you fumble with the hem of your shirt, kind of avoiding to look him in the eyes. Part of you is afraid you’d see judgment in them and you don’t think you would be able to handle that.

“I asked him to leave me alone, but he just kept talking and then I snapped at him a little harsher and when I was walking away he…”

You scowl again, hearing his words play in your head so clearly, as if he was standing behind you, repeating them to you. Harry reaches out and he gently covers your hand with his warm palm, giving it a gentle squeeze, letting you know that he is patiently waiting, not rushing you to talk. Taking a deep breath you blink your tears away before continuing.

“He basically said that I wasn’t even a good fuck and no man will want to marry me.”

“Jesus fuck, what kind of asshole did you date, Y/N?” Harry snaps in horror and it’s kinda funny, makes you laugh through your tears.

“Seems like the worst kind,” you mumble with a bitter chuckle. “I know I shouldn’t have let his words get to my head, but… it’s easier said than done. I feel like such a loser,” you breathe out, your lips trembling as the tears are threatening to flow again.

“Don’t blame yourself for having feelings, it’s completely normal. Of course his words hurt, he once meant a lot to you and he probably knows that too, that’s why he tried to use it against you. What he said held no truth.”

“You think so?” you ask, voice barely more than just a whisper as you finally look at him. His green irises appear so warm as he smiles at you, squeezing your hand again. He scoots a little closer, his knee bumping against the side of your thigh.

“Y/N, I know so,” he chuckles. “That guy was a proper idiot for what he did to you. You didn’t deserve any of that and any many would be lucky to have you as their wife.”

“Really?” you pout, feeling so touched and loved from his words. It’s exactly the reassurance you needed.

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling sweetly.

Everything that happened today messed with your head big time. And now sitting with Harry on the couch, listening to him telling you how worthy you are of love and happiness, it completely throws you off. Ever since that moment in the kitchen before Gemma walked in, you’ve been nonstop thinking about what would have happened and it made you notice even the tiniest things about him.

Harry Styles is a man who is clearly a sight for the eyes, with his chiseled jawline, pink lips and gorgeous green eyes, the duality of his powerful and business appropriate attires he wears during the day and the tattoos hidden under his dress shirts, you’d have to be blind to say that he is not an attractive man. But on top of everything on the outside, he is a wonderful person on the inside and it twists your head more than you’d like it.

Your brain switches off for a moment, or just the rational side, but you completely stop thinking as you stare at each other. The intimacy and emotionality of the moment pushes all your common sense to the side as your gaze wanders down his lips.

The thought of kissing him comes fast and before you could even stop yourself, you move forward and press your lips to his. The touch of his lips against yours is sweet and warm and kind of intoxicating, but in just a blink of the eye your rationality gets a grip of you and your eyes pop open in realization of what you just did. Pulling back you gasp and cover your mouth in shock, feeling your whole inside trembling at the thought of getting yourself fired by this move.

Harry seems frozen and quite shocked as well, his lips are parted as he stays still in his spot.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know what’s gotten into me! Harry, I’m sorry, I promise—“

You start rambling in panic, but you don’t get to finish. Harry moves forward, his hand coming to the back of your head as he pulls you in for another kiss, this time making it a lot more passionate and even your tongues get involved. He is kissing you hard and you almost moan into his mouth when you feel his other hand come to your thigh, squeezing it just enough to send a shockwave up your spine. Your hands come up to the back of his hair and you hold onto him for dear life, carrying the kiss on like you’re two teenagers in your parents’ basement, doomed to get caught any moment. Harry goes in again and again, tugging on your bottom lip, licking into your mouth and making your insides twist just from having his lips on yours.

And then you both let go of each other, needing some time to breathe and you slowly realize what just happened. You both stare at each other in disbelief, completely shocked at your own actions, but neither of you have any idea what should happen next.

You let go of each other, sitting back to your normal positions, awkwardly breathing heavily and you realize you cannot deal with this right now. You are way too drained and tired to make it make sense so you decide to just… call it a night.

“I’ll head to bed,” you quietly inform him as you stand up from the couch, walking like a zombie, the shock still clouding your judgment.

“Good night,” Harry mumbles, just as confused as you are.

“Good night,” you nod and basically sprint up the stairs and don’t stop until you shut your door behind you.

Leaning your back against it, you slide down to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you stare into the darkness for long minutes. Quite some time passes by before you hear Harry walk upstairs, his door opens and then closes before silence falls on the house again. With a blank mind, you push yourself up, take a quick shower and just go to bed, ignoring everything that has happened today. You’ll deal with it in the morning.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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[relishingwriter]

Invisible Strings (Addison Montgomery x Reader)

If anyone told you were to be married to Addison Montgomery, you would have not believed them.

At first glance, she seemed like an insane woman – she cheated on her own husband and then came back because she was sorry. Ironically enough, the more you avoided Addison, the more fate brought you closer.

You were one of the best interns in the hospital, along with Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey, but unlike them you did not have a favorite interest: you were simply enticed by the miracles of the human life. Noticing your never-ending curiosity, Addison constantly chose you to stay under her service. After some time, she started frequenting your favorite spot at Discovery Park, your calming space. It was one of the few moments you were nothing but a common girl admiring nature.

You will never forget the day you saw her sitting on a bench, with a teal-colored shirt, a yogurt, and a wondering look in her face. You did not exchange words with each other that day, but if you bothered to look up from your reading, you would have realized the stolen glances from Addison to you. From that day on, Addison realized her infatuation for you, but it was only after the a patient's surgery she willingly recognized her feelings.

"So," Addison started, staring at you. You had just scrubbed in this 4-hours risky surgery, in which the mother and baby made it.

"So." You went in her direction with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood. Although no one died, you could feel the tension in the air. "Do you always come here?" You joked, making her chuckle.

"Does that line ever works for you?" Addison genuinely asked. She knew you were into women; the hospital staff never let anyone forget.

"Worked with one nurse," you shrugged and winked at her. "Hey, I am going to share the news with the patient's husband–" you stopped yourself for a second, having another thought. "thanks for choosing me to help you with this surgery. I know how important those cases are to you." You finished, this time putting your hand over her shoulder. The touch was simple and fast, but Addison couldn't help but feel shivers sent across her spine.

When you left, she sighed loudly. She was tired of having to pretend everything was okay, from the exhausting surgery cases to her relationship with Derek, every conversation with you highlighted her day. She felt thrilled every time she heard your voice, and she knew what this meant. She had a girl crush, and she would do anything in her power to get closer to you.

For you, the situation was simpler. You were aware of your sexuality, and you were surrounded by beautiful women in Seattle Grace, finding them attractive was just part of the job. It was not until a work trip with Addison that you developed a crush.

You were in the intern's room with your friends, hiding from the attendings. You all were, in all honesty, overwhelmed with the number of surgeries in the past 72 hours, and rambling to your friends was your favorite pastime.

"She is taking you to L.A?" Cristina asked, with her eyes popping out of her face.

 "That is like a rendevouz!" She teased while staring at you intensively, almost as if trying to get a reaction from you.

"I wish Alex would take me to L.A," Izzie replied with a dreamy look. You rolled her eyes at their fake commotion.

"We are just getting some eggs back. It is a boring work trip." You moved to your locker, grabbing some snacks. "I may also meet some of her doctor friends. They work at this private practice... maybe I'll even transfer," you joked, this time Cristina running her eyes at you and Izzie muffling a laugh.

"You wouldn't dare!" Meredith said, punching you with her elbow. You all laughed this time, knowing there was no other place where you would rather be.

The trip with Addison, however, was completely unusual. During the plane, Addison was overly nice, trying to learn more about you, and giving you space to get to know her, too. When you finally arrived and entered her rented red car, you saw her smile from ear to ear while silence surrounded the both of you. You debated if you should be the first to say something, opting to make it less awkward.

"I never seen you like this," you say, admiring the beach at your left.

"Like what?" she asked, quickly glancing you with an arched brow.

"So free. It's... Its a good look on you," you replied, this time looking at your hands. These words just felt out of your mouth, and you knew you had jeopardized your friendship. To Addie, that was the moment she ralized you saw her for who she was.

To your helpless self, every moment on that trip felt like a date. You stayed at a 4-stars hotel, you had dinner at a 4-stars restaurant, you met her friends, and you even helped her with others case. To you, that was the moment everything changed.

After returning to Seattle, Addison started being bolder. She would randomly compliment you, and even let you operate by yourself once. You had no idea why, but you chose not to complain either. The others just guessed that Addison was glad to have someone interested in obstetrics and gynecology.

It was not until she broke up with Derek and headed to Joe’s bar that you had it figure it out.

You spent the entire night watching her. Addison looked enchantingly sad, and she probably did not want to see you – you were best friends with Meredith, after all. If she noticed your heavy look on her, she made sure to hide it. You did not make a move until you saw her running into the bathroom crying, and you quickly chased after her.

"Hey," you said with a worried look on your face. "I know I am probably one of the last person you want to see, but I am here." Addison did not know if it was the drinking talking or the way you were looking at her – like she mattered – but the only thought in her head was how she had to have you. Without hesitating, she pulled you closer and kissed you.

It did not matter you were kissing in a bathroom.

It did not matter you were her intern.

You fastly wrapped your arms around her, deepening the kiss. You moaned as her thigh pressed against your core, and then she broked the kiss, biting your lower lip.

"Let's go to my hotel room," Addison said, lacing your hands with hers.

You had been going out for three months in pure secret. Apart from Joe and Cristina knowing, really, because hey, they know how to keep a secret. You were extremely careful in public, and the one time you were not, Derek caught you two.

It was past midnight, and none of your friends were around. You were on call, and she kissed you goodbye as she ran her fingers through your hair. It was also on this very passionate moment that the both of you heard something fall into the ground. When you turned your back, there was Sheppard with his mouth wide open and his pager on the floor.

"Should we run?" You whispered, alternating between looking at her and Derek.

"He will get over it," Addie shrugged, smiling at you.

As you finished breathing in and out, you looked at Meredith and Cristina, smiling. You had just delayed the marriage in a couple of minutes because of an anxiety attack.

"I am ready," you pronounced and they nodded. As they left, you waited about one minute to start walking down the aisle. When you arrived, you closed your eyes, holding back tears. She looked like the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Our time was wondrous," you whispered to her, holding back a laugh. "I want start my vows with a legend. The legend of an invisible red string, which ties two people together – those who are meant to meet, no matter how far apart they live or how different they lives are. And I, with my whole heart, believe that because of the odds of the universe, all along there was some string tying you to meet–" you began, and as you observed her smile and the admiring faces of the crowd, you knew you had found your new home.