#with a physical book i can both focus and take notes... i hope i can get a copy on ebay or smthn

[oscill4te]

grounding techniques for dissociation almost never work for me except heat-based grounding techniques.. i just luv sitting on the ground by my heater like a cat who basks in warm sunlight.. or having a hot cup of tea in my cold hands. Romanticizing my shoebox of a life.

[partiallyderived]

-ˋˏ life's too short to hold grudges (pgw)

genre: classmates to lovers au, fluff relationships: park gunwook x gn!reader warnings: n/a word count: 594 words author's note: i thought i would write something light. it isn't all that remarkable, but i still hope you enjoy it! disclaimer: i know none of these people personally, and i am not making any money off of this. title is from a quote in "anne of green gables". also, thank you to moni (@/taerrrrrae) for suggesting i write headcanons when i got writer's block. i appreciate you.

— honestly, the best way to explain your dynamic is to take the example of anne shirley and gilbert blythe from "anne of green gables", only with much less antagonism and outright disdain, because park gunwook is polite enough not to mock your hair colour, so you have no reason to crack the modern equivalent of a slate chalkboard over his head.

— the first time you see him, you think he's got to be a senior — except no, this guy is the top scorer in your class: debate club member, class monitor, teacher's everyone's favourite, park gunwook.

— and for no rational reason whatsoever, you declare war on him.

— it ends up only lasting for a month or so, until the next internal assessment, when you get a higher grade than him in physics, and he ends up messaging you at nine o'clock that night — very apologetically — wondering if you could maybe help him with some of the derivations.

— you tell him to come to school a little earlier the next day, and help him to understand the reasoning behind each step before class, and gunwook can honestly say — this is the moment his little crush on you begins.

— however, your teachers are ecstatic that he has more competition now, and because high schoolers love drama and inculcate it in everything they do, everyone becomes convinced that you two are friends not genuinely, but in some sort of psychological warfare way.

— like you're trying to take him down by sitting across from him at lunch and sending him the notes he misses from class when he's at debate competitions?

— and the thing is when gunwook tries to refute the allegations, everyone seems to think that a) he's being too nice b) he's being too naive and c) (courtesy of ricky, gyuvin and junhyeon from the class above) he should just ask you out.

— it's a little bit funny, how everyone seems convinced that you two hate each other behind your friendly facades, but also mildly concerning — because they're way too invested in something that has nothing to do with anyone but you two. so your genius solution is: spend more time together, in public.

— poor gunwook is about to combust.

— and it is on one of these days — at the library, after school, when you've taken his help to grab the reference books the librarians keep on the highest shelves — that he says, very quietly, "i think i like you."

— and you take it jokingly because what the actual heck who confesses in a library when it is pin drop silent and the librarians are watching and say, "i should hope so? otherwise it would make the past few months really awkward."

— "no, i mean — i like like you. in a romantic sort of way."

— and your very articulate response? "oh. well, uh, i like you too. i was going to ask you out on graduation day, or like, after the suneung."

— and then you both continue on as if nothing happened, because both of you are aware of your need to focus on school. although that's not to say there's any miscommunication — you are aware of his stance on dating now, as gunwook is aware of your stance on dating now, and the agreement both of you have is: you'll be together officially, just without the actual going out aspect.

— it doesn't change much of your daily dynamic, only that people quickly shut up when he walks into class with your books in one hand and your hand in the other.

— power couple. 10/10.

[kepamount]

everytime

part 2 to best mistake !

universityjock!mason x cheerleader!yn, loosely based on everytime by ariana grande - smut, a little bit of fluff if you squint

word count: 8.1k+

warnings: exes au, very toxic dynamic, mason is a level 1000 dickhead, threat of physical violence (y/n almost throwing a vase at mason’s head), misogyny, strong language, unhealthy possessiveness, explicit sex, unprotected sex, public sex, exhibitionism, teasing, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, dirty talk, degradation and praise (we love duality), pussy slapping, he uses her underwear as a gag, squirting, hair-pulling, spanking, spitting, choking, overstimulation, i think that's everything but pls lmk if i missed something!

a/n: hello my tumblr girlies! yes, ik it's mason's birthday, but we're all getting a gift today, which is some dirty dirty smut lmao, i really hope you all enjoy! x

‘Come in!’ Coach calls a moment after I knock on his office door, and I turn the handle carefully, peering into the room before I step in. Coach is sat behind his desk, eyes focused on his laptop, and Mason sits on the windowsill with his phone in his hands, lips quirking up into a smirk when our eyes meet. He’s wearing a pair of grey Nike shorts (the ones that used to drive me wild) and a loose white t-shirt, a thin chain around his neck and a backwards cap on his head. God, he’s sexy.

‘Fashionably late,’ Coach observes as he looks at his watch. ‘I’m sorry, Coach. I… lost track of time,’ I say weakly, and Coach raises an eyebrow. ‘Is it raining outside?’ he asks drily, referring to my damp hair, and I let out a little sigh. ‘I had a shower. After the gym,’ I add as an afterthought, and Coach gives me an impressed nod. Any mention of people using the gym that the sports department spent a large portion of their budget on last year, Coach is happy. ‘Never mind. Ten minutes isn’t too late, I suppose. Take a seat, y/n,’ he says, motioning to the seat opposite him on the desk, and I sit down.

Mason stays perched on the windowsill, his eyes sparkling with mirth as they focus in on how I adjust my shorts. I suddenly feel exposed, in just a pair of cycling shorts and a cropped ribbed tank top (they were the first clothes I could find after I jumped out of the shower), but then I remember both of the men in this room have seen me in much less. Coach has seen me in the skimpiest cheer kit to ever exist (we had to redesign it a couple years ago because someone’s tit popped out while we were performing) and Mason has seen me completely naked, spread-eagle in his bed.

‘Okay… I have another meeting with the head of the sports department in 20 minutes, so I’ll need to leave in 15. Thankfully, there’s not too much I need to get through – the two of you can discuss everything else without me,’ Coach says, eyes skimming across his notepad, and I feel my eyebrows furrow together in confusion.

‘Without you, Coach?’ ‘Yes. I trust that the two of you are mature enough to come to your own decisions without me holding your hands along the way. You can talk things over together, and fill me in when I get back from my meeting. Is that okay?’ Coach asks, Mason’s eyes flitting to mine, the boy leaving it to me to answer. ‘Yeah, Coach, that’s fine,’ I say, the man nodding before he begins talking through his notes.

Most of it is pretty boring. Mason and I will need to do a health and safety training course so that we can lead practice/training sessions without Coach having to be there, so we discuss when the best time is for us to book it in, Mason and I bickering because our schedules don’t quite match up.

We set up a joint calendar so that Coach can add in matches as and when he plans them with other teams, so that Mason and I can put in practice and training sessions, and so we can plan our monthly meetings (and remember them so no one shows up late like I did today).

We move on to fundraising events, Coach saying that we will need to coordinate the football team and the cheer squad so that all of us are at the fundraising events together. Mason’s suggestions are ridiculous – a kissing booth at the uni fair, a swimsuit car wash, a wet t-shirt contest – but he calls my ideas boring – a bake sale or a raffle at the uni fair. Coach eventually intervenes with our arguing to tell Mason we won’t be doing any of his ideas, and he’ll have to compromise with mine, the boy sulking as I smile smugly.

And then Coach checks his watch, realising he’s gonna be late to his next meeting, and so he disappears, saying he’ll be back in around half an hour. As soon as the door falls shut behind us, Mason wiggles his eyebrows at me with a stupid grin on his face, making me shoot him a dirty look.

Since Mason and I fucked in the changing rooms a couple weeks ago, my head has been a mess, mainly because I haven’t been able to get him out of it. After I ended things with him, I missed him but I stayed strong, promising myself I wouldn’t ever go back to him, either sexually or romantically, but now that I’ve given in once? I don’t trust myself to resist him if he tries anything again. I’ve managed to hold out since that day, despite his several advances during practice and parties, but we’re alone now, and it’s gonna be difficult.

‘I still think we should do a wet t-shirt contest,’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘Well, you’re an idiot. We’re not doing that, Mason. It’s… backwards, and degrading.’ ‘I thought you liked being degraded,’ he grins, and I just stare at him deadpan, the boy laughing.

‘Fine, no wet t-shirt contest. But your ideas are so boring, y/n.’ ‘A bake sale is, like, the go-to fundraiser! We can all get together and bake brownies or cupcakes in the uni kitchens. And us girls can sell it all on match days as people are arriving! We could do other stuff as well. Bulk buy sweets and chocolates and popcorn, and sell it all in cute little cups. People will pay anything for a bit of food at half-time,’ I appeal, and he doesn’t say anything for a few moments.

‘That’s not a bad idea,’ he admits begrudgingly, and I grin proudly. ‘See? That’s one thing we can do. And we can do a booth at the uni fair. Maybe not a raffle, but a… dunk tank! The football team can do, like, 20 minutes shifts, and people can pay to throw tennis balls at the target. And we’ll make sure the target moves or something, so it’s harder!’ I say excitedly, Mason looking sceptical.

‘Why the football team?’ ‘Because none of us cheerleaders should have to go in a dunk tank,’ I say, my nose scrunched up in disgust at the thought. No girl should ever have to be in a tank of water that the football team have also been in. ‘Fine, whatever. Dunk tank sounds good, the boys’ll be down,’ he says, and I clap my hands together in excitement. Things are starting to come together.

‘There’s easier things we can do, as well. Like… you guys always throw a trillion parties every year at your house. Maybe for, like, Halloween, you can charge for entry. Just a fiver, but that’ll add up. Not all of our fundraising has to be super time-consuming,’ I say, and he nods in agreement.

‘Yeah, that’s a good idea actually. We can say that you have to pay a higher fee if you don’t dress up,’ he suggests, and I’m impressed. He’s finally being sensible. ‘That’s a really good idea!’ ‘What else can we do?’ he asks, and I think for a moment. ‘Don’t you think that’s enough? Selling food at every home game, a dunk tank at the uni fair, and the Halloween party at yours,’ I list off, and he lets out a little laugh, getting up from the windowsill and sitting down in Coach’s chair.

‘You’ll be wanting to do as much fundraising as you possibly can,’ he says cryptically, and I look at him questioningly. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘The sports department are cutting cheer funding,’ he says, looking like he’s barely holding back his laughter, and my eyes widen.

‘What? They’re cutting our funding?’ I demand, and he nods amusedly. ‘After all that money they spent on the gym last year, they can’t justify letting you girls spend so much money on your pretty bows and your skimpy skirts,’ he says, and I just stare at him in disbelief.

‘They cut our funding three years ago, so we stopped getting backup uniforms and started paying for our own safety shorts. They cut our funding again two years ago, so we stopped hiring our own bus for matches and started getting on your guys’ bus or driving there ourselves. They cut it again last year, so we started paying towards our uniforms. They pay half, we pay half. What else can we possibly do to save them more money?’ I ask, voice faint with shock.

‘That stage you guys hire at the end of the year. How much does that cost?’ he asks with a small smile, and I feel my mouth drop open. ‘We need that stage. If we want to pose any kind of threat at Nationals, we have to practice on a stage. The one year we didn’t was literally catastrophic. If we don’t practice our routine on a stage, we’ll have no hope of placing,’ I say, and Mason leans back in Coach’s seat, looking endlessly amused. I want nothing more than to slap him.

‘You need to prioritise other things. How will you compete without any boys on the squad? You need someone to throw the girls around, don’t you?’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘There are some very strong girls on the squad. We have plenty of bases for our stunts. But that’s not relevant. I’m not giving up that stage, Mason. We have to hire it if we don’t want to humiliate ourselves at Nationals.’

‘Don’t tell me. Tell Coach, or the head of sports. I’m sure when they hear how important it is that you have your stage to prance around on, they’ll give you all the funding you need,’ he grins, and I have to slide my hands beneath my legs so I don’t throw myself across the desk and punch the shit out of him.

‘You’re such a dick. You think your football is so much more important than cheer-’ ‘Who stands on the sidelines, singing and dancing, and who runs around the pitch, scoring goals and winning trophies? You tell me, y/n,’ he says smugly, and I let out a humourless laugh.

‘The fact that we cheer for you doesn’t make you any more important than us. You guys literally come to Nationals to support us.’ ‘Oh, yeah. That’s why we’re there. Nothing to do with the hundreds of pretty girls in their cheer kits,’ he says drily, and I take a deep breath, my anger only being fuelled further by my jealousy.

‘You know how much cheer means to me. And you’re sitting here, fucking mocking me-’ ‘Babe, relax. I’m not mocking you. I’m just joking. You know I respect cheer as a sport,’ he says mildly, and I fix him with a hard look.

‘Our funding has been cut, and you’re sitting here laughing about it. How is that respect? Admit it, Mason. None of you give a fuck about our sport. You don’t, the rest of the team don’t, Coach doesn’t. The entire fucking department couldn’t care less about us. Coach didn’t even have the fucking decency to tell me himself,’ I say bitterly, and Mason raises an eyebrow.

‘He would’ve told you if you’d had the decency to show up on time,’ he says pointedly, and I roll my eyes. ‘He still could’ve told me. Cut funding should have been the top of his list. But instead, he started with talking about a fucking health and safety course,’ I spit out. ‘Health and safety is still important,’ Mason grins. ‘You’re a fucking twat,’ I say flatly, taking slow and deep breaths to cool my temper so I don’t ruin his season with an injury.

‘Shows up late, doesn’t apologise, and then sits here insulting me,’ he observes amusedly, and I give him a blank look. ‘I did apologise.’ ‘Not to me. You said sorry to Coach, but he’s not the only one who had to wait for you,’ he points out, and I don’t say anything, just staring at him. If he’s expecting an apology, he’s not getting one.

‘It was ten minutes,’ I say simply, and he lets out a little chuckle. ‘Ten minutes is a long time, y/n. There’s a lot I can do in ten minutes. You would know that, angel,’ he grins, and I raise an eyebrow, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach. ‘Delusional much? You never made me cum more than once in ten minutes,’ I say, and his lips quirk up in amusement. ‘I wasn’t talking about sex. Dirty mind,’ he says beratingly, and I roll my eyes, both of us knowing it’s a lie.

‘But now that we’re on the subject…’ he begins, and I let out a little sigh, readying myself for his bullshit. ‘Who were you just with?’ he asks, and I give him a puzzled look, my stomach turning nervously. ‘What do you mean?’ I ask, and he narrows his eyes at me.

‘I spent the last two hours in the gym. You weren’t there,’ he says amusedly, and I cringe internally at being caught out on my lie. ‘You must not have seen me.’ ‘I might not be as intelligent as you, but I’m not that stupid. You weren’t there, so don’t pretend you were. Even if I hadn’t been in the gym today, I wouldn’t have believed it. Your workouts are pilates in your apartment. You hate the gym,’ he says firmly, and I roll my eyes. ‘Okay, fine, I wasn’t there. That doesn’t mean I was with someone,’ I say, and he grins like a predator watching his prey fall into a trap.

‘You only wash your hair in the mornings, because you like putting oil in it overnight,’ he says, reminding me of how well he knows me, and I sigh internally, trying to think of a lie. ‘I only put oil in my hair every other wash now. So that doesn’t mean anything,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow.

‘Okay, fine. Maybe that’s true. But you only wash your hair every three days. Your hair was fresh this morning when I saw you with Steph and Isla in Starbucks. So why have you washed it again on the same day? You would only ever wash your hair in an evening or on the same day as another wash if you’d had sex and you were all sweaty,’ he says, looking immensely proud of himself for working it out, and I stare at him, wondering if I should tell him the truth or keep denying it.

‘Just tell the truth, y/n,’ he says amusedly, and I let out a little sigh. ‘Fine, okay, yes. I was with someone,’ I say, a victorious look on his face. ‘Who was it?’ he asks, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘I’m not telling you.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Why would you even want to know?’ I ask, and he grins at me. ‘Because I want to know who thinks it’s okay to fuck my ex-girlfriend,’ he says, and I stare at him in a mixture of amusement and disbelief.

‘Thinks it’s okay? It is okay. People other than you are allowed to fuck me. I’ve slept with several people since we broke up-’ ‘Yeah. Jude from your tutor group. Ruben who used to live next door to you – he fucked you a few times, I’ve heard. Marcus, the engineering student who graduated last year. Dec, who’s on my course, by the way. You should have known I’d find out about that one,’ he says amusedly, my mouth falling open more with each name he says. How the fuck does he know this?

‘Did I miss anyone?’ he asks, and I’m too shocked to speak. ‘Didn’t think so,’ he grins. ‘You… how did you find out?’ I say faintly, unable to believe what I’m hearing. ‘People talk. Well, most people talk. I assume none of them talk to you anymore,’ he says with a contented smile, and I just blink at him, everything making sense now.

‘You told them not to talk to me anymore?’ ‘No. I just… spoke to them, and they chose not to speak to you anymore, based on those conversations,’ he says simply, and I burst out laughing. ‘You threatened them? They can’t possibly be scared of a skinny little white boy,’ I say through laughter, and he just raises an eyebrow, getting up from Coach’s seat and walking around the desk.

‘I didn’t threaten anyone. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s because they’d rather be friends with the captain of the football team than sleep with you,’ he says lightly as he perches on the front of the desk, a small gap between us, and I just shake my head at him. ‘You’re fucking ridiculous.’

‘Maybe. Or maybe I just don’t like people touching what’s mine. So tell me who you were just with and-’ ‘Hold on. You don’t like people touching what’s yours? I’m not yours, you dick. In case you’ve forgotten, we’ve been broken up for quite a while now. I’m well within my rights to sleep with whoever I want,’ I say slowly, emphasising every word so they get into his head, and he just laughs, looking down at me with an amused grin.

‘You’re not mine?’ he asks, and I just blink, completely confused. Am I missing something? ‘No, Mason, I’m not, as you’re well aware,’ I reply, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘No, babe. I’m well aware of the opposite. I think you’re always gonna be mine, whether you want to be or not,’ he murmurs, and I shake my head incredulously, unable to believe what he’s saying.

‘Mason. I’m not yours. You can’t remove every boy that I sleep with from my life. We’re not together,’ I say, voice soft with disbelief, and he lets out a noise of annoyance, like I’m purposely being dense. ‘Us being broken up doesn’t matter. I don’t like you being with other boys, just like how you don’t like me being with other girls,’ he says as though it’s obvious, and I roll my eyes.

‘Don’t try to deny it. You still get jealous like I do, and we both know it. You even hate the mention of other girls. Literally just a couple minutes ago, when I said about us going to Nationals to watch all the other cheerleaders there, you looked like you wanted to kill me,’ he points out as an example, and I remain silent, just looking up at him with an irritated gaze.

‘Since we broke up, I haven’t been able to pull a single cheerleader from this university. None of them will entertain me-’ ‘That’s probably not a fact that you want to go around advertising,’ I say amusedly, and he just gives me an unimpressed look before he continues. ‘I used to be able to pull them when we were still together-’ ‘Yeah, I know.’ ‘-but now, I can’t. Why is that?’ he asks pointedly, ignoring my sarcastic interjection, and I raise an eyebrow.

‘Maybe it’s the same reason I can’t pull a single boy on the team,’ I reply lightly, and he lets out a little laugh. ‘So you admit it? You told them to stay away from me?’ ‘I never had to tell them. They just know,’ I say mildly, and he just nods amusedly.

‘If you weren’t mine, we wouldn’t be doing what we’re doing. Stopping each other from pursuing relationships. Getting jealous at just the mention of anyone else. Laying our claims on each other to scare everyone away. But we are doing what we’re doing, which means you are mine. Just as much as I’m yours. We’ll always come back to each other, angel. Every time,’ he murmurs softly, and I hate the way my heart flutters in my chest at his warm gaze down at me.

Our eyes remain locked together as he waits for me to speak, the room filled with an expectant tension. After a long silence, I take a deep breath and say, ‘Help me stop them from cutting our funding. You’re the football captain. They’ll listen to you more than they’ll listen to me.’ He stares at me for a moment before his lips curl up and he shakes his head.

‘After the conversation we just had, you’re thinking about funding?’ ‘I care more about my sport than I do about my love life or sex,’ I say pointedly, and he rolls his eyes, leaning back on his hands and spreading his thighs very slightly, his dick on my eye level. It takes every inch of my willpower to keep my eyes on his.

‘Clearly not. You showed up late to a meeting about your sport because you were too busy getting dicked down,’ he says drily, raising an eyebrow and waiting for a response. I can’t think of one other than it’s your fault for making me so horny which is a pretty shit comeback, so I don’t say anything, a victorious smirk appearing on his lips at shutting me up.

‘Tell me who you were with,’ he demands. ‘Help us keep our funding,’ I reply simply, and he lets out an amused sigh before hooking his feet around the legs of my chair, pulling it closer with minimal effort. My body is caged in between his legs, my face so close to his groin that I feel my skin heating up.

He leans down slightly, our faces close enough that I could count his eyelashes if I wanted to. I avoid his strong gaze and he grabs my chin, turning my head and tilting it back so I’m forced to meet his eyes. ‘Tell me who you were with,’ he repeats slowly, fingers pressing into my jaw, and I realise what he’s trying to do. Does he really think he’ll be able to get me all worked up and then hold out on actually doing anything until I tell him who I was with? He must know that I’m much better at these games than he is.

I lift my hands to rest on the tops of his thighs, dangerously close to his groin, and his gaze falters for a moment, clearly surprised by my boldness. ‘Help us keep our funding,’ I say again, voice low and breathy as I let my hands slide inwards towards his bulge. He raises an eyebrow, not amused at my unwillingness to let him get his way, before titling my head back ever further, my neck fully exposed to him.

I’m forced to stare at the ceiling as he leans to burrow his head in my neck, deeply inhaling my scent before exhaling slowly, his breath making my hair stir and goosebumps appear across my skin. He presses soft kisses to the juncture between my neck and shoulder, lips curling up in victory when I let out a gentle sigh. ‘Tell me who you were with, angel,’ he says, words muffled on my neck, before he sucks at my skin, sending a pleasurable shiver through me.

I keep one hand sat atop his thigh, nails digging into his skin slightly, the dense muscle flexing beneath my palm at the painful contact. The other hand I move to sit atop his bulge, cock already hardening under my touch, but I keep my hand slack, the lack of pressure making him let out an irritated noise,. ‘Help us keep our funding,’ I respond, his breath catching in his throat when I start to glide my hand back and forth, fingers barely brushing his hard-on.

His hand tightens on my neck, pads of his fingers pressing in and cutting off my airways very slightly, my eyes still trained on the ceiling of Coach’s office. He pulls me to lean towards him, his head moving into my view, and he uses his other hand to force my lips apart. I already know what’s coming, watching as he gathers up saliva in his mouth and spits it into mine, my underwear flooding. ‘Tell me who you were with, y/n, and I’ll agree to help you keep your funding,’ he bargains as I swallow down his spit, and I roll my eyes.

I grip his dick suddenly, the quietest noise sounding low in his throat as I palm him through his shorts. I wrap a hand around him and tug at his length gently, the friction of his clothes rubbing against his cock making him let out a shaky breath. ‘If you agree to help me keep our funding, I’ll tell you who I was with,’ I reply, voice slightly raspy because of how tight his hand is around my throat.

‘You’re so fucking stubborn,’ he murmurs, releasing my throat and leaning back on his hands again, clearly enjoying the way I’m touching him through his shorts. So I stop, a dark look appearing on his face. ‘Clearly I get it from my ex-boyfriend,’ I say pointedly, leaning back in my seat, and he only looks angrier at me mirroring his actions.

We stare each other down, his face like thunder while I can’t hold back the small smile on my lips. He’s the one at a disadvantage here, because his anger about not knowing who was inside me a little while ago is consuming him, more than any anger I might have about funding, and we both know it. It’ll kill him to leave this room without finding out.

‘You might want to take care of that before Coach gets back,’ I say into the tense silence, motioning to his hard-on creating a tent in his shorts, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘You can take care of it if you’re so concerned about it.’ ‘I’m not concerned. Just think it’d be quite embarrassing.’ ‘Almost as embarrassing as the wet patch you’ll be leaving on that chair when you stand up,’ he drawls in response, eyes flitting down and noting how my thighs are pressed together.

‘I can clean a wet patch. You can’t hide a boner, especially not in those grey shorts,’ I observe, and his lips quirk up amusedly. ‘You noticed the shorts? They always were your favourite,’ he says, as though I need reminding of how feral I used to become at the sight of him in those shorts, and I roll my eyes. ‘Of course I noticed them, baby. So thoughtful of you to dress up for me,’ I grin, and I can tell from the way his smile slips for a moment that his masculinity is threatened at my mocking.

Before I can even register what’s going on, he’s on his feet, lifting me out of the chair and sitting me down on the desk where he just was before sitting himself in the chair. I might be the one looking down at him now, but I definitely don’t have the advantage anymore, the look on his face and the set of his shoulders telling me he’s far too pissed off to let me keep having my fun.

He doesn’t waste any time, spreading my legs and cupping my core, fingers gliding up and down the crotch of my shorts in a way that makes my body ignite. ‘I’ll make you regret being such a little bitch, y/n,’ he vows in a soft voice before sliding his hands up my body and slipping beneath my tank top, pulling it up and over my head before dropping it down onto my desk, my boobs jiggling with the movement.

‘Braless? Fucking slut,’ he murmurs, pulling my shoes off before his hands come back down to my cycling shorts. I lift my hips so he can pull them down my legs, and I keep myself elevated so he can pull my underwear down too, but he grips at the fabric between my legs instead. His biceps flex as he rips it completely, exposing my wet core to the room.

‘I swear to God, Mason, I’m gonna fucking kill- oh, god,’ I begin ranting, cut off when he presses his thumb down onto my clit. ‘Kill who, angel? God?’ he murmurs amusedly before he ducks his head down between my legs, licking a slow stripe across my folds. I bite down on my lip to stop any more noises coming out, but I can’t help myself as he continues licking at me lazily, like he’s doing it more for his own pleasure than mine.

‘Oh, fuck,’ I moan, pushing off his cap and sliding my hands into his hair as he attaches his lips to my clit, sucking harshly, before his teeth gently scrape across the bundle of nerves. My back arches up, cold air hitting my hard nipples, and a loud moan of his name escapes my mouth. My nails scrape across his scalp as he swirls his tongue around my clit, my thighs closing around his head so tight that it must hurt.

‘Who were you with, y/n?’ he asks, like a dog with a bone, not giving me any time to think before he pokes his tongue inside me, my mind going blank as I let out another loud moan from low in my throat. ‘Answer the question,’ he growls before delving his tongue back inside me, my walls fluttering around it.

‘Doesn’t it bother you… that your tongue… is inside a pussy… that was fucked… by another guy… less than an hour ago?’ I manage to force out between deep breaths and soft whines, and his eyes flit up to meet mine, dark and stormy with rage. 1 point to me. He leans away from me, landing a harsh slap across my core, the shock of the pain making me gasp, but my gasp is cut off by a moan when he pushes two fingers inside me.

‘Fucking slut. Who were you with?’ he demands, eyes trained on my face as I whimper pathetically at the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of me, barely able to hold his eye contact. ‘Someone with a dick bigger than yours,’ I say in a strained voice, just about managing to get my words out before he rubs at my clit with his thumb, forcing a moan of his name from my lips.

‘Liar. Who were you with?’ he asks again, but I’m too focused on the pleasure rolling through my body in waves to muster up any sort of response. He removes his fingers from inside me and slips them into my mouth, my own arousal coating my tastebuds as I lick them clean. He ducks his head down again, tongue flicking across my clit, and I let out another loud moan, head thrown back and back arched painfully.

‘If you won’t answer my question, you’ll shut the fuck up,’ he spits out, grabbing my ripped pants and stuffing them into my mouth before pushing me down to lie across the desk. I feel Coach’s papers against my bare back and suddenly realise that my ex-boyfriend is eating me out in the football coach’s office, with the door unlocked.

Before I have any time to dwell on how dangerous this situation is, he pushes three fingers into me, my back lifting up off the desk and tears filling my eyes. He doesn’t waste any time, thrusting his fingers in and out of me fast enough to fill the room with obscene squelching and choked moans from deep in my throat, muffled by my underwear in my mouth. I can taste myself on the material, the filthiness of it making me gush around his fingers. The desk is probably covered in my arousal.

I thrash around on the desk and it must irritate him because he lifts my legs up over his shoulders, my heels resting on his back and thighs on either side of his head. He sucks at my clit whilst keeping a steady pace with his fingers inside me, and I bury my hands in his hair, pulling his face closer to me.  

He chuckles softly, warm breath fanning across my skin and making me shudder. When his fingers curl inside me, I clench around his fingers, unconsciously trying to push my thighs together, pressing them into his head. He doesn’t relent though, tongue flicking across my clit, fingers stretching me out.

‘Close already?’ he asks amusedly, so used to my body that he knows when an orgasm is approaching, and I can’t help myself from taking the underwear out of my mouth to respond with ‘still sensitive from the last guy.’ He freezes, my response taking him by surprise, before his eyes blaze with fury. ‘You’re gonna regret running your mouth,’ he warns me before thrusting his fingers into me again with renewed energy, a loud moan falling from my lips.

The knot in my stomach tightens as his tongue swirls around my clit, fingers bringing me closer and closer to orgasm. I can’t stop the moans and whines that escape my mouth but the sounds Mason’s making are much worse, his mouth slurping and his fingers splashing my arousal. My fingers are still tangled in his locks, thighs pressed tightly around his head and heels digging into his strong back, but none of it seems to concern him, the boy completely focused on making me cum.

‘Fuck, Mase, I’m… I’m so close,’ I whimper, the submission in my voice making him instantly soften. ‘Come on, baby, cum for me. Cum on my fingers like a good girl, y/n,’ he murmurs against the skin of my inner thigh, the praise pushing me even closer. He curls his fingers inside me, sucking my clit between his lips, and I see white, mouth falling open as my orgasm hits me.

I black out for a few seconds, the pleasure in my body too much for me to handle, and when my vision finally clears, mind finding its sanity again, my body falls slack, head back on the desk and chest falling and rising with exhausted breaths. I manage to lift my head to look at Mason, and I get the shock of my life when I see that his face is wet, skin glistening.

‘Did… I just-’ ‘Yeah, you did,’ he replies, tone soft with shock, and we just stare at each other for a long few seconds. ‘Fuck. That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,’ he murmurs, taking my hands into his and pulling me upright, gripping my jaw with a strong hand to bring my face closer. He presses his lips to mine, my own taste on his tongue, and I moan softly into his mouth at his hands digging into my waist as he kisses me fiercely.

He breaks apart from me after a moment and stands up, the tent in his shorts making my stomach clench. ‘Turn over, angel,’ he prompts, and I lift myself up shakily before turning onto my front, body pressed against the wood of Coach’s desk. ‘Can you lock the door?’ I ask, hearing him chuckle softly. ‘Starting to hurt my ego, babe. I wanna show you off, and you’re trying to keep me hidden.’ ‘I’m trying not to get caught naked on Coach’s desk with my ex-boyfriend inside of me,’ I reply drily, getting more laughter in response.

‘It’s fine, he won’t be back for a while. You’re just gonna have to be quiet for me, so no one else comes in.’ ‘Just lock the door.’ ‘It doesn’t have a lock,’ he replies, and I groan in irritation. ‘We don’t have to fuck, angel. I can go without it, and you should be able to as well. Unless the guy you fucked earlier was shit,’ he murmurs, lifting one of my legs to rest on the desk, exposing my dripping wet core to the room.

‘Say the word, babe, and I’ll stop. If you’re so worried about being caught,’ he says, grin audible in his tone, and I roll my eyes. He just wants me to beg him, like he tried to get me to do last time – he’s so transparent. Before I can decide what to say, I feel the head of his cock running up and down my folds, my walls clenching in anticipation. The contact stops suddenly, cold air on my core making me shiver, but then I feel his lips press against my shoulder blade, kissing a slow trail down my back.

‘Have you ever squirted for another boy, angel?’ he asks quietly, and I toy with the idea of telling him that yes, I’ve squirted for every other guy I’ve slept with. ‘No,’ I respond truthfully after a long pause, putting him out of his misery. ‘Have you ever made yourself squirt?’ he asks, and I respond with another ‘no.’ ‘That was your first time?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘Fuck,’ he curses, lips in the dip of my back, hands on my waist.

‘Wanna make you squirt again, babe. On my cock instead of my face this time. So much that it goes everywhere, angel. Want the room to smell like you,’ he whispers against my skin, making me moan softly, and he loses any composure he may have had before that point. I feel his cock between my legs again, head pushing against my folds, and I feel myself moving back, desperate to feel him in me.

‘You want it?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘Words.’ ‘Yes, Mase, I want it,’ I whisper, my words followed by silence for a long few seconds. ‘Who fucked you today?’ he demands, and I let out an irritated groan. ‘Seriously?’ ‘Yes. I’ll speak to Coach about your funding. No, fuck that, I’ll even fund your stage myself if I have to. Just tell me, y/n,’ he demands, and I want him so bad that I give in.

‘You have to promise me you won’t do anything.’ ‘I promised you I’d help with funding – don’t add other conditions.’ ‘Mason, please,’ I whine. ‘What would I do anyway?’ ‘He’s on the team, and I don’t want you to, like, bench him or whatever.’ ‘He’s on the team?’ he demands angrily, and I sigh. ‘Mase, please,’ I say again, and he’s silent for a few seconds. ‘Coach chooses the team so I can’t bench anyone.’ ‘Mase.’ ‘Fine, I won’t do anything. Just tell me. It’ll kill me not to know,’ he pleads.

‘Conor,’ I whisper, and he’s silent for a long few seconds. ‘Okay.’ ‘Mason-’ ‘Babe, it’s fine. I won’t do anything,’ he murmurs before pushing all the way into me, both of us cursing in unison. ‘Oh, God,’ I whimper, Mason giving me time to adjust, the sound of my deep breaths the only noise in the room. His hands roam across my body soothingly, sliding over my hips and squeezing my bum self-indulgently.

‘Stop clenching, angel,’ he breathes out, clearly struggling to stay composed, and I try my best to stop my walls fluttering around him. ‘You can move.’ ‘Sure?’ he asks softly, my heart melting which makes me want to slap myself. This guy is a Level 1000 dickhead, and I’m getting butterflies while he’s got me bent over Coach’s desk. I need to seriously self-evaluate.

‘Yes, Mase, please,’ I murmur, and he pulls out slowly before slamming back in, making me moan loudly. He doesn’t hesitate any longer, hammering into me with enough force to make the desk creak, just about audible over the continuous moans escaping my lips. ‘Fuck, Mase, feels so good,’ I whimper, his hand coming down on my ass in a slap that makes me gasp, the gasp cut off with a moan when the head of his cock hits my sensitive spot.

‘Such a dirty girl, y/n. Someone could walk in any second and see you getting fucked by your ex-boyfriend on Coach’s desk, and look at you. Moaning like a desperate little slut,’ he says, voice strained with the effort of keeping his fast pace, punctuating his words with another harsh slap. He wraps a hand around my hair, tugging it and keeping my head bent back an at uncomfortable angle, my moans projecting around the room.

‘Still so tight, baby. Conor can’t have fucked you very well,’ he says cockily, both of us knowing full well that the female anatomy doesn’t work that way, but I’m too fucked out to correct him, just about keeping myself from passing out at the intense waves of pleasure rolling over my sensitive body.

‘How would he feel if he knew, babe? If he knew you were getting fucked by your ex-boyfriend less than an hour after being with him? He’d think you’re a dirty fucking slut, wouldn’t he, angel? And he’d be right,’ he says between broken breaths and soft groans, his cock dragging against my walls in a way that makes my legs shake.

He’s relentless with his thrusts, pounding into me like it’s what he was made for. The sounds of skin slapping together, wet squelching, heavy breaths, creaking wood and my high-pitched moans fill the room – it sounds like someone’s playing porn on full blast through a speaker. It’s filthy, the way he fucks into me, pulls my hair, slaps my ass and talks so dirty it’d make even a prostitute blush. I’m embarrassingly close to another orgasm, and Mason knows it – I can practically feel the cockiness radiating from him.

He releases his grip on my hair, my head falling forward, and I moan pathetically when he begins rubbing at my clit harshly, his other hand pressing hard into my waist. ‘Ah, fuck, you feel so fucking good,’ he groans, my walls clamped down around him, making him have to put in so much effort just to be able to move. My body slides back and forth on the desk with every thrust of his, and my mind is completely empty of everything but him and his dick.

‘Fuck, Mason,’ I cry out, eyes watering, and he slows his pace slightly, giving me a brief reprieve. ‘You okay?’ he murmurs softly, rubbing my back comfortingly. ‘Mmhmm. Need you, Mase,’ I whisper through deep breaths, pushing back into him as tears run down my face. ‘Baby, you’re crying, and you still want me to fuck you?’ he laughs, sliding an arm beneath my body and pulling me up so our bodies are pressed together, his cock still inside me.

He keeps one arm wrapped around me, hand grabbing my tit whilst the other hand slides down my body and stops between my legs, fingers brushing my clit. He starts fucking into me again, thrusts slow and passionate now, and my head falls back against his chest. My knee is still up on the desk so he’s going so deep, deep enough that it feels like he’s brushing against my cervix.

‘You gonna cum for me, angel?’ he murmurs against my ear, fingers drawing circles on my clit as he fills me up perfectly, and I just moan in response, prompting a soft laugh from him. ‘Is my pretty baby close? Gonna cum on my cock, y/n?’ he whispers into the crook of my neck, my eyes fluttering shut as the knot in my stomach tightens and I let out a string of unintelligible gibberish.

‘Come on, y/n. Cum for me, angel. Wanna feel you cum around my cock, baby,’ he murmurs, moving the hand at my boob to my neck instead. The moment he tightens his fingers on either side of my throat, I hit my high, moaning his name loudly as my eyes roll back.

He rubs fast circles at my clit to get me through my orgasm, and as soon as my walls loosen around him, he’s pushing me back down onto the desk, hands tightening at my waist as he begins thrusting into me furiously fast to reach his own orgasm. I whine at the overstimulation, aftershocks making my body shudder along with the way he fucks into me, and he lets out soft moans and grunts. His cock twitches inside me and I know he’s close, clenching around him hard to keep him buried deep inside me.

‘Fuck, I’m gonna cum, y/n,’ he groans, hands clamped down on my waist bruisingly tight, and I feel his release fill me up, the boy moaning lowly as he thrusts into me slowly and erratically. He pulls out after a few seconds, the empty feeling making me shiver, and the silence that settles over the room makes the reality of this situation dawn on me. We just fucked on Coach’s desk.

‘You okay?’ he asks, sounding slightly sheepish, and I nod, pushing myself up off the desk on shaky arms. He gets some tissues from the box on the desk, sitting me down and cleaning me up with careful hands. I’m exhausted, trying my best not to knock out as he cleans all the sweat on my skin, smoothing down my hair with light fingers.

‘Want me to help you put your clothes back on, baby?’ he asks softly, and I suddenly remember that we’re not together anymore, and for good reason. Yes, he looks unfairly hot now, with messy hair and flushed skin, but it’s not a good idea to let him get close again, because I’ll probably fold and let him back into my life, and my heart can’t take all that pain again.

‘No, I can do it myself,’ I say, more harshly than I intended, and he reacts visibly, surprise on his face. He quickly masks it with an irritating smirk as he hands me my shorts and top, tucking my ripped pants into his pocket. ‘You’re such a fucking dick for ripping my underwear. That’s two pairs of pants you owe me now,’ I mutter as I pull my clothes on and slip my feet back into my shoes, collapsing down onto the chair once I’m done. He's looking at his reflection in the window, running a hand through his hair before putting his cap back on.

‘You’ll be able to buy yourself two million pairs of pants with all the funding you’re gonna get,’ he says serenely as he opens all the windows, airing the room out so it doesn’t smell of sex. I start tidying Coach’s desk, hoping he doesn’t notice if anything’s out of place.

‘What, you think you’re gonna be able to persuade Coach to give us extra funding instead of cutting it?’ I ask drily as he sits on the windowsill again, and he grins at me. ‘No persuasion necessary. The uni’s given the department double the budget we had last year, so your funding’s gonna be double this year what it was last year,’ he says, my confusion slowly ebbing away into pure rage.

‘What did you gain from lying?’ I say through gritted teeth, his smile growing even more. ‘We both know the answer to that, angel,’ he responds, and I shut my eyes to keep myself calm, taking deep breaths. ‘You’re a fucking twat, Mason,’ I say after a long few moments, reopening my eyes to see his shit-eating grin. ‘If you hadn’t been late to the meeting, y/n, you wouldn’t have missed Coach talking about the budget. So it’s your own fault really,’ he says, and I see red.

When Coach walks in, I’m milliseconds away from throwing the vase on his desk at Mason’s head. ‘y/n, stop!’ Coach shouts, rushing over and taking the vase from my hand. ‘Did you see that, Coach? She was about to physically assault me,’ Mason says with a grin in my direction, Coach shooting him a look. ‘You probably deserved it, Mason.’

‘Coach! She could have wrecked my face,’ Mason whinges as Coach sits back down behind his desk. ‘Anything that happens to your face from this point would be an improvement,’ Coach replies drily, and I fail at stifling my laugh, Mason crossing his arms across his chest with a sulky look on his face. ‘Right, well, at least the two of you didn’t kill each other while I was gone. You may have been about to, but you didn’t, so I consider it a win,’ Coach says amusedly, Mason and I shooting each other dirty looks.

‘Why are the windows open? It’s freezing,’ Coach says, and I hesitate to answer, Mason doing it for me. ‘y/n was feeling hot,’ Mason says, and I try not to react visibly to his horrendous lie. I’m in shorts and a crop top – why on earth would I be feeling hot? ‘Oh, okay. You’re not ill, are you, y/n?’ Coach asks, and I wrack my brains for an answer. ‘No, Coach. It’s just… that time of the month,’ I say quietly, instant regret on his face.

‘Okay, sorry for asking. Let’s carry on with the meeting then. What did you decide on for fundraising?’ ‘We argued about it quite a bit, Coach, but y/n eventually agreed to the wet t-shirt contest.’ ‘Shut up, Mason.’ ‘You shut up.’ ‘No, actually, both of you shut up. To think you were ever in relationship. How did you manage to stand each other?’ ‘I ask myself the same question every single day, Coach.’

[sam-blackbird]

An analyse of Umbrella Academy s4's posters (beware of s3 spoilers, ofc)

Hi! Today, the official Umbrella Academy Instagram account published season 4 posters, and since I'm very excited about this, I'm gonna try to analyse the posters, or what I can tell about them.

It's going to be long so grab a snack if you want / can, put on a cool playlist, and let's dive down! I'm going to do it poster by poster, in the order it was posted, from the oldest post to the newest (so not in numeral order).

We can notice that the characters are cut in two, the Portal way.

Anyway. First of all: Viktor !

Ngl, I had a moment when I saw he had the masculine uniform.

But past my joyful moment, my mind went racing so fast I couldn't keep it down, I had to share my thoughts (even if there may be only one person reading me, but whatever).

First thing first, it's interesting that the first one isn't Luther but Viktor, who is, the main character of the show (or at least, that's how I see it). Or a least the most important one. (if the last scene is Viktor ending his reading of his new book, about his siblings, not only would it be a fucking good epanadiplosis but it would make me cry the hell out of me)

After all, the show open with him, following him. And nothing would happen if it wasn't for him. He's the one trying to get the family stick together, and (unwillingly) starting apocalypse (twice or thrice, shit happens).

Let's focus on the poster now. On the left, we have a clothing reminding us of the Umbrella Academy days, or rather the "how it was before the show", except they are adult, and Viktor is here shown post-transition (and not pre-, as he was in the first two seasons). What does that mean? Fuck if I know. That being said, I think it have its importance (if they wanted to put children instead, they would have, wouldn't they?). However, we can note that he is not wearing neither the boy shorts (nor girl's skirt, for obvious reasons), but some secretly third option, aka a grey pant (is it the sport pant?). He is standing out himself, as a trans man (not wearing a skirt, yet not wearing the boy uniform either, as if he wasn't fully in that category somehow? idk).

Viktor's posture is straight (lol), and I associate it with being calm, obedient (he listen to everything Reginald says (ex: take these pills), and since Reginald is perceived as a father figure, it makes sense that Viktor wants to obey him, maybe hoping he (Viktor) will be loved and recognized as valuable). And also with being like a puppet. Or a muppet. The point is: He's not free of his movement, he doesn't have free will.

His face doesn't look happy. Nor sad. Just... neutral. He's just... there.

On the right, we can't see his face, yet his posture seems way more relaxed! He's wearing casual clothes, more modern ones, adapted to the world without powers they're now seems to live at the end of season 3.

His looks reminds me of the one of Tyler Ronan from Tell Me Why, a game by the studio Don't Nod (I fucking love that game). Both characters are trans man.

(This are pictures of Tyler. I had to restrain myself because we're not here from ma boi Tyler) (I have way too many pictures of that icon)

Anyway. Casual clothes. Blue, like the uniform. I won't analyse that, this post is already long enough.

Tbh, I haven't saw again the last episode of season 3, so I don't remember if it was the clothes they were wearing or new ones.

Also, Viktor is holding an umbrella in his right hand, probably a reference to the Umbrella days. Like, it's a part of him, he can't leave it behind, he physically have it with him (even if he doesn't have the power).

And the Umbrella is closed, unlike the ones from the previous seasons's posters.

Like, season 2's were opened (and full), and season 3's were opened and damaged (and they were hiding the protagonists' faces, showing implicitly the influence of the academy on them).

Next one, Luther !

We almost can see his face on the right!

But anyway, let's start by the left. Luther is walking, straight, in what could be either a military walk or a relaxed one (? don't quote me on this please, I can't explain). His posture screams "confidence" and "I'm number one, I'm a leader, follow me!". Or something like that, I'm no posture reader, just someone who watched way too much police and detective shows. He's wearing the Umbrella uniform (and it's so fucking weird to see it on a grown ass man!). His hair are cut short.

On the right, he's wearing a more casual look. There's something going one with his arm muscles, but I can't be bother to search what. His hair are longer than on the left. He is wearing gloves and an umbrella, and walking shoes. His umbrella is cutting his name (does it have some symbolism? Maybe.)

He's still wearing blue (like Viktor), even if it's a different kind of blue (and it kinda fit him).

Nothing more to add. (yes, I have my favorites, and despite liking Luther, I won't kill my eyesight anymore than necessary for details).

Next! Diego!

Let me preface this by saying that it's so fucking weird to see him in that uniform. On the left, he's walking like a good little soldier, following the leader.

On the right, he's the embodiment of a relax guy who can (and will) definitely yeet you out of the picture if needed. He's not wearing anything casual. It's more like a killer / soldier clothes, with his precious knifes.

DOES HE HAVE A MUSTACHE????

He's holding the Umbrella on the shoulder, as if he can't be bothered with it (and/ or he's gonna use it as a weapon).

Next! Not number 3, but the one who's linked to Diego! Lila!

Love that she's officially "Lila Hargreeves".

The left outfit is like the one she had in season 2 when she was with the Handler and stuff about her past was revealed (so interesting and meaningful choice of outfit). Her heels are thin, as if she wasn't stable (with her life situation and all).

Yet, on the right, her heels are thicker, more stable to move (she's more free to go).

Her clothes are modern and the flowers fit her really well, I might say. Her hair are put up, like the active badass woman she is. They're brown again, and not white/ blond anymore, it's more natural (I can't really argue, my hair are currently pink).

She overall looks like a business woman, with a casual chic.

She too, is holding an umbrella, which make her fully part of the family. She hold it casually.

Next, another girl: Allison.

Ngl, I'm no big fan of hers, so this will be short.

On the left, she's confidently wearing her UA (Umbrella Academy) uniform. Her hand move don't really feel natural (saying this as someone who sometimes draws human beings). Her hair are like the one from season 1.

On the right, she looks like a business woman and a mom. Her posture looks aslo determined, while relaxed. She have business to do, and no one will stop/ prevent her from doing so!

Girl power and all that.

(I'm trying, I really can't stand how her character was wrote during season 3)

Neeeeext! Let's go with one of my fav, Klaaaaaaus!

I have to say, it is criminal that a) his hair are short on th right side (loved his long hair) and b) where's the skirt?! He slayed in it! Anyway.

On the left, his walking looks very mechanical, as if he was a machine, a robot (lol) (I won't do any joke about Grace). Yet, his posture his not natural (no one walks naturally torso in one way and legs in another, if that makes some sense) (that reminds me kinda of the extravagant way drag queens walk on the runaway, for shows, but I may be extrapolating a little).

His eyes are closed. Why are his eyes closed? I'm scared. His face is still like the one of a dead person. Resigned. Accepting his fate. But after all, Klaus had always been closed to death, more or less metaphorically speaking, as he can see ghosts (= dead people, or what remains of them).

His hair are all over the place, reminding the crazy days he had to get fucking blasted to avoid said ghosts.

Right side is colorful. He's beauty, he's grace, WHERE ARE HIS HAIR?! No but more seriously, cutting one's own hair symbolise change in many culture, and more specifically letting go of the past, embracing new beginnings, and/ or undergoing spiritual or personal transformations. I have no idea how to interpret that.

He seems to float, to ascend (plz don't kill him). He is bare foot (bare feet? idk) (fun fact: in the comics, he could only use his power when sober and with bare feet) (I won't go down the rabbit hole of barefoot symbolism and its link with death, I'm not mentally well enough to do that).

He his wearing a yellow coat with flowers (flowers, like Lila!). Yellow is associated with joy, fest, sun (and Klaus is a comic relief, a feel good sunshine character), and flower, life. (again, plz don't kill him)

What reinforce that idea of tragedy is that the umbrella he's wearing is the only one who isn't black: it's the umbrella he was holding during Reggie's funeral in s1. Plus, he's holding it with three fingers out. What's the meaning of three? Idk. Maybe it’s for Allison? Maybe it has a link with God (the Christian one)? Yk, Holy Trinity and all that. After all, doesn't Klaus met God (the little girl in the afterlife) regularly?

Does that look good or bad for Klaus? No idea.

Speaking about looking good, Ben is back, alive. I won' t go far enough to say "well", but he's alive.

On the left, he's standing straight, walking in a unnatural posture. Following only.

On the right, he bent (idk why tho). His clothes are casual (and looking alike the one Viktor had been wearing during s3). His umbrella also cut his name (like Luther's). He's a Vans' boy!

(please, no mustache for him)

We can't see if he's wearing glasses or not.

Last of the Hargreeves kids (if you count Lila as one, and if not, last one of the power-gifted Hargreeves): Five.

On the left, his posture is haughty. His hands are in his pants pockets. He know what he wants, he is very sure of himself, maybe because he thinks he is better than everyone (he can think that, given what happened) (some might even say he have a bratty attitude, but I'll answer, well have you seen him during season 1???)

(my personal theory is that he is bend forward to be smaller on the left than on the right)

On the right, he left the UA uniform for a more formal suit (some call it 'the grandpa / old man suit'). His hair are longer.

He's walking down like he had no shit to give anymore (he doesn't) and he's ready to throw hands (he totally his).

HOLY (S)HIT HE'S HOLDING THE UMBRELLA IN HIS RIGHT HAND! Why? Why is he te only one wearing the umbrella on the other hand? Is it to accentuate his difference with his siblings (+ Lila)? Is it to show how differently he see his time at the UA an how differenlty he uses his powers? I mean, given he didn't spend as much time in the UA as the rest of them, ofc his vision and perception of the UA is different. Even his vision of time is different.

And now.

BEWARE! THE REGINALD JUMPSCARE! (or is it scare jump? Anyway, I've been working on this post for more than an hour and a hlaf, plz be indulgent, it's late and the day had been long)

On the left, we see the whole umbrella for the firs time on these posters.

Reggie is wearing blue (reminding of the UA uniform). He is young looking, and seems well assorted (who tf have two jacket pockets on the same side tho?)

Edit: his suit is actually more lilac/ purple, which is a color hard to dye (so it costed a lot and was reserved for royalty / rich ppl) (before industrialization and the use of chemical products for clothes dye; and we know Reggie arrived/ was on Earth on 19th c., so during the industrialization)

On the right, he's old and wearing a brown suit. Brown can symbolize the Earth. Earth can provide and ppl are depend on it to eat and therefore survive. In a way, he was a Earth for his children, as they were dependent on him (does that makes him a good father? Absolutely not!). (that thought, of Reggie being a Earth, is funny given he is an alien / an extraterrestrial)

And if you put them all in order, you get :

(notice how Klaus's picture / posture melt greatly in Five's?)

And that's it! Damn, that was long. Don't hesitate to let me know what you think about all of that in the comment!

[femmefatalevibe]

tips on how to change to a better person and be a new person both physically and mentally. i want to transform into a new person within a few months but don’t know how or where to start

Hi love! While everyone's lifestyles and goals are different, here are some general tips that can only make your quality of life better:

Eat A Predominately Whole Foods, Plant-Based Diet: Unprocessed non-animal foods like fruits and vegetables, whole grains, plant proteins (peas, beans, edamame, etc.), nuts and seeds, root vegetables, and healthy whole fats (like avocado) should make up around 80% of your diet. Stick to water, black coffee, and tea either plain or with lemon, too to avoid unnecessary sugars.

Get In Your Steps & Gentle Movement: Try to average around 7-10K steps a day to feel the benefits of walking. Incorporate a light strength training exercise (pilates, yoga, a YouTube body weight or free weight workout, etc.) into your routine 2-3 times a week for around 15 minutes each.

Read Daily: Commit to 10 pages of book reading and 30 minutes of article reading at different times of the day to learn, stay updated on the world and strengthen your cognitive function/ability to focus.

Take Time To Self-Reflect: Journal for at least 10 minutes a day. Either practice morning pages (free writing 3 pages in the morning) or choose a prompt or two from a therapist, shadow work journal, and a blog post. See my latest Femme Fatale journal prompts to reset for 2023 in this private membership post.

Carefully Curate Your Circle of Influence: Be mindful of who you spend time with, what topics you discuss, and what information you share with each of these members of your inner circle. You're always allowed to set boundaries around who you want to speak to outside of work (and children who are minors, of course, if you have them) and what information you want to disclose with them. Protect your peace at all costs.

Set Intentional Goals: Create well-defined goals with a clear action plan in the major areas of life (career, finances, health, relationships, personal development). Consistency, not intensity, is essential for goal achievement. So, make sure to do little tasks each day or week to ultimately achieve your desired results.

Keep Track of Your Tasks: Have a to-do list for professional tasks, items to buy for the house, errands to do, grocery lists, appointments to schedule, bill due dates, invoicing timelines, etc. Keep track of these items on your Notes App, Reminders, or within Google Calendar/Keep – depending on how time-sensitive a task might be.

Make Time For Self-Care: Block out an hour or so of your day to purely focus on yourself. This ritual can include your daily non-negotiables like a shower, skincare, reading, journaling, etc., and can include other indulgent activities like a face mask, exfoliating, doing your nails, watching your favorite TV show, etc. Prioritize yourself.

Create An "I Love" List: Stealing this tip from Jessica Garner (sex educator on TikTok) because I love it so much. Whenever you find an activity, meal, experience, song, item of clothing, etc, add it to your "I Love" list (on your notes app, etc.) to remind yourself of the things in life that bring you joy. This list can serve as a source of inspiration when you're feeling down and give you a built-in list of ideas to lift your spirits in some type of way on your more depressing or stressful days.

See the rest of my best habit ideas to implement for 2023 HERE.

Hope this helps xx

[the---hermit]

03|03|2023

Today was a very quiet day, I mostly read both for uni and for pleasure, and to be honest it was great. I was more productive in the morning, as usual, but it's fine. I was debating on whether I should start watching the recorded lectures of another class I had to take, but I wasn't sure I would have enough focus today, so I opted for some slow reading and highlighting. I am not loving this book I have to study, the concept of contrapposition of physical, digital and audio books is really interesting but the book is not what I was hoping for. At the moment I don't know if it's my perspective as a student reading this, but the tone feels very patronizing at times. It also wastes so much time repeating you will find information x in this chapter, and information y in that other chapter. I normally appreacite books that make sure to tell you where you can find similar information in the text, but here it's excessive at least for my liking. Thankfully it's a pretty quick read at the moment because there's so many tables, and statistics the text is very broken up. It does make the text heavier, but it's much quicker to find the important parts of the text.

Productivity:

continued reading How We Read Now by Naomi S. Baron (one of the books I have to study for my history of libraries and reading class): I finished the first section of the book, and started reading and highlighting the second section

wrote down some notes for the first section of said book

finished reading Harrow The Ninth (review coming very soon)

made the weekly spread on my bujo for next week

practiced Irish on duolingo

Self care:

I slept more than I had planned to and even though my instinctive response was to feel guilty because I was planning on studying earlier I took my time to do things as I would normally do, without rushing or giving up on the small things I like to do to start my day. If I slept more it means my body needed to rest a bit more, and that's fine.

read first thing in the morning

postponed studying in the afternoon of at least half an hour because I needed to finish reading htn, yes it counts as self care because I was so close to stop and go study for the sake of duty, but for once I did what I actually wanted to do and not what I had to

took a relaxing bath while listening to a bookish podcast

[arcanareads]

Can the cards tell us what to expect for the upcoming ACOTAR book?

The cards and I thank you for your question!

What can we possibly expect from the next ACOTAR book: king of swords, queen of wands, 2 of pentacles reversed, 6 of pentacles reversed, 10 of swords

King of swords: someone who is comfortable in the role of a leader but is not power hungry. A sign that someone who is a trusted advisor may enter the situation or that you, yourself, are the reliable source of information that will benefit others

Queen of wands: someone who can appear as bold, determined, and fearless. Appreciation of what each potential journey offers and the chance to learn something new about oneself with every challenge. A taste for nothing but the best, this person uses their creativity and quick-witted mind to discern the finer things in life

2 of pentacles reversed: a sign that you are or already have lost focus, and the resulting loss could be of financial security

6 of pentacles reversed: the act of giving and taking has become unbalanced. You may have had your generosity taken advantage of, or you are the one taking advantage

10 of swords: an indication of betrayal and the end of a painful situation. The time of suffering is ending. It is time to let go, accept the end of things, and move on.

Note: The reading above may be accurate, but when I did it, something felt a little off. I've consulted the cards again, and this time, I changed the wording of the question. Here is the second reading.

What will we see in the next ACOTAR book: queen of cups, strength, the fool, ace of cups, the world

Queen of cups: this card denotes loving, intuitive energy that may be found in an older woman in your life during a time when you seek healing in your life. This card can also manifest as self-love. This card brings the gift of compassion and emotional connection that can be directed at you or that you will direct towards someone in need

Strength: this card suggests you will have an experience that requires you to summon the power that comes only from exercising inner peace and freeing yourself from the influences of fear and ego

The fool: this card encourages you to have faith in the universe and live fearlessly. You will manage to come through the storm if you allow hope to replace fear. Imagine the adventures that await you when you do this.

Ace of cups: this card implies the start of a beautiful and loving relationship and offers the chance of both spiritual and physical fulfillment. You are drawn to those who are on a similar spiritual path as a way of creating more positive relationships

The world: this card represents the successful and fruitful end of a journey. A time of great joy and relief now that all the hard work has paid off. It is time to revel in the glory of a job well done.

[mid-nightowl]

<3 5 facts for a celebrity au? (pairing of ur choice!)

hi tauria!!!! thank you for ask :) <3 <3 <3

this is a good one, but it was a challenge. now bear with me, we're gonna do a dickjaytim celebrity au 👀

Jason’s the celebrity (but like minorly?). He's a theater actor and is well-known in theater circles etc., but most people off the street wouldn’t recognize him. He’s a fan favorite on twitter/social media though, for being a scathing but good critic for new books and books-turned-movies. 

>>Tim’s the CEO of Drake Industries and a rival to Wayne Industries in Gotham (but like he doesn’t take it as seriously as he should to the despair of his board). His parents died when he was a teenager and after graduating high school early, just took on the company and does whatever he wants. 

>>Dick is an orphan and the ward-adoptee of Bruce Wayne. Same backstory as canon, circus kid adopted by rich Gothaminite. Bruce and him act more like older brother-younger brothers and act like Alfred is their father/grandfather figure. Bruce is CEO and offered Dick a position at the company but Dick would rather not. Unclear on what job Dick does in this but he’s not a cop (blegh).  

>>Tim and Dick are local celebrities, well-known and often chased by paparazzi, but Jason’s the real focus for this AU.

So, Tim’s a CEO and has to attend galas and rich people events, socialize and get people invested in his company (as well as prove himself a capable CEO despite being so young). He typically hates these events, dreads going, comes up with any excuse he can, but does attend some. He attends a theater play, expecting not to have to talk or socialize too much because it’s a play, and falls head over heels for the main actor, Jason. 

>>Tim sort of falls into being a stalker-y, secret admirer of Jason but Jason’s pretty smitten with all the nice, thoughtful notes and gifts he’s getting (especially compared to some gross ones he gets from Roman Sionis and other old rich dudes hoping to buy his favor). EXCEPT, Timmy’s not the only one in the running for Jason’s hand. 

>>Enter Dick Grayson. Dick was often third-wheel to galas and other events with Bruce and Selina, often exasperated and bored. But, so so similar to Tim, attends an event expecting to be bored out of his mind and is instead captivated by this stunning actor aka Jason. Cue the courting and gifts. 

And expectedly, Tim and Dick both start to realize there’s someone else trying to steal Jason and they figure out who. And this starts an epic rivalry over Jason’s heart. It starts with trying to out-gift the other, both buying Jason elaborate but meaningful gifts (rare books he likes, regular books, flowers and jewelry, donations to his favorite charities, etc). And it escalates rather quickly. I imagine Dick can be downright mean in this and Tim is just as biting, both unashamed in their rivalry and obsession with Jason. Anyways, there’s a lot of fun and hilarious stuff you could do with Dick and Tim fighting without physically fighting. (I’m giggling over them sniping at each other over twitter and Gothamnities just being ???? until Jason [Gotham’s adored theater nerd] chimes in and fans start having a lightbulb moment) 

Eventually, Tim and Dick’s rivalry hits a high point and the two tumble into bed together. And then they both decide they can just share Jason. Jason, of course, is oblivious to all of this. He likes Dick and Tim a lot, like a little too much, but won’t make the first move because he is a shy baby and then starts to think they’re only doing it as like a weird rich kid rivalry ritual and don’t actually care about him or his feelings. 

After Jason’s (inaccurate) revelation, he starts to pull away from Dick and Tim (especially when paparazzi and social media pick up on the fact that Dick and Tim seem to be “dating”). Dick and Tim take this as a challenge, and Jason (and his coworkers/friends) thought it was bad when those two hated each other, but Tim and Dick working together??? It is…terrifying? Impressive? Terrifyingly impressive? Jason’s already head over heels, but now he’s obsessed even more (but also overwhelmed and a bit light-headed at all the swooning he's doing, it’s a bit too much at times). I’m running out of steam here, but eventually Dick and Tim do manage to convince Jason that yes, they do adore him, and no, this is not a weird rich-kid rival thing. And Gotham breathes a sigh of relief when Jason gets caught leaving Dick-Tim's penthouse covered in hickies and wearing their clothes :))

[astralwaifu]

Hi! Hi! Hi!!!

Remember me? It's the one who encouraged to do the genshin character compatibility trend i have been dying to do! Unfortunately, i couldn't find the person who i saw started this trend so here i am in your ask box doing this. So i guess you know how this thing works- like you send three characters to see your compatibility with, and then you send a little bit of info about yourself such as personality and hobbies. I love that trend so much and as much as i wanna stay sane, i wanna know if my favorites will actually match or vibe with me ehehehehe-

So anyways! Let's start!!!

Characters : Pantalone, Venti, and Diluc!!! My favorites!!!

Apperance (ft. Picrew) :

About me : So technically, i am currently a drained out student (and help me school starts soon), but i am studious and hardworking! My problem is, i cannot seem to focus on one topic at a time and i ended up forgetting things. I don't socialize much, yet i would always greet people with a smile. But i never had anyone else to share what i have on my mind (usually books and my own ideas) and i tend to overshare and sometimes change the topic that it gets all too confusing. I only have two hobbies, reading and listening to music. And i pretty much wanna stay indoors all the time and then be alone in a pretty, fairy-tale like place in nature sometimes. I am very much clingy, and somewhat get attached way too easily. And yes i do require headpats and cuddles because i never got any affection. And i get easily irritated and when i am pissed i get too far, sometimes. Yet i just want cuddles and affection because i am lonely, lol. Oh and i love stuffed animals and books and sweet-scented perfume as an addition. Also i have a fear of spiders, i pray at least someone can get rid of them for me. That is all ✨️✨️✨️

Author’s note: Heyya! Sorry it took a couple days, I got my nails done and can’t type as fast as before! We changed Pantalone with Welt from HSR, because for some unknown reason I can’t write him. Anywaaay, I hope you’ll enjoy this! Sending all my hugs to u. <3

Venti

I have a strong feeling that his outer persona is your inner one, so you sort of complete eachother in a way none of you really expected.

Although it would take a while to get used to his extrovert self, since you seem to be pretty much introvert, the moment you decide you are comfortable enough you’ll see a big change. Meaning - EXPECT UNENDING AFFECTION AND CUDDLES!!!

I swear Venti wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of you - always needs to give you reassurance and to have you close to him. Would totally do the thing where he squeezes your hand three times to silently tell you he loves you.

Would show you the most beautiful views in Mondstadt, he knows every place worth seeing and knows which one will leave you absolutely breathless.

Whether you like it or not, he will sing to you all the time. You like a certain song? Expect to hear to it singed by Venti for the next two weeks, until you physically can’t listen to it anymore.

A small issue would be that he constantly need to be around people, to interact and be present, which you’ll find a little tiring. Loves to annoy you too so he could get a reaction out of you. Don’t worry tho, he will never cross your boundaries!

Overall, on a scale from one to ten, I’d give your compatibility an 8.5 .

Diluc

The moment I finished reading about you I immediately thought that Diluc is the one.

It’s just that the two of you are fairly similar, both in the way you are around others (although you are quite a pleasant presence, Diluc is just more grumpy) and in the way you share the same wish in your heart - to be loved by someone, held amd cherished despite your flaws.

And I can say that the two of you do a pretty good job at that. Main love language between you is physical touch, since both of you are touch starved. When you are around others PDA is kept to the minimum, but when the two of you are alone HE WILL BE ON YOU ALWAYS! Holding your hand absolutely everywhere you go in the Dawn Winery and around its domain, random back hugs and normal hugs, headpats whenever he sees you around the house.

Also kisses on the crown of your head and forehead (they are Diluc’s favourite form of intimacy), which make you feel so special and seen.

He will always find time for you despite his busy schedule. His favourite activity together is reading in silence next to eachother, shoulders touching, but each doinh his own thing. He is the type of person that would put your legs over his during this to help you sitt mor comfortable. You will absolutely fall asleep in his lap like that.

Carries you to bed when that happens - no one can change my mind !!!

The two of you strike me as that couple that doesn’t really fight and not because you ignore your problems. You really don’t have reasons to fight.

Did I mention you will never have to worry about bugs again? :)

He is THE MAN - 10/10 compatibility.

Welt

Loves to take care of you in any possible way he can. Mans just trying to make you feel as safe and as comfortable as he can. He loves you too much to have you feeling bad about yourself or lonely.

Indulges in all your little habits such as going rants whenever you find something you love. He’s listening to every word carefully, absorbing information. You will maybe think he doesn’t care, but in the next couple days you will find a lot of things related to your new book or idea in your room on the Astral Express.

He’s more mature and a big stand-offish, so expect cuddles only when you request them or really really need them. Doesn’t really initiate this kind of things. You will however have your hand held and head pat by him at all times.

Saved you more than once from Himeko’s bad tasting coffee.

His main love language would be quality time, you will find yourself sitting next to him anytime, anywhere, each doing his own thing.

Whenever the Astral Express stops on a new planet for a trailblazing expedition, he will take you on cute dates and a walk in the nature.

He gives me a 7 vibe. Maybe 7.5-8.

And little note to u : all of them would find you absolutely beautiful because, honestly, who wouldn’t?

[hanniejji]

books and library shenanigans

[ albedo x gn!s/o ]

summary: the library's a very peaceful place to entertain yourself with books or study. unfortunately, you chose none of the two and decided to be an lovely annoying menace while albedo works.

notes: found this funny tiktok vid and i just knew i had to write it, also an apology for the long overdue phoenix fic hhnhnh | m.list

words: 956 | warnings: s/o kinda slipped their hand under his shirt for fun and a small innuendo but it's safe i swear :'D

it's another day of annoying your dear boyfriend, albedo just knew it the moment you stepped foot in the library with the excuse of "oh no, absolutely not my dear! how can you think of me like that? i'm merely here to study!"

bullshit, you don't like studying in the library unless he's studying with you.

"hey, you're technically with me right now."

"i am working on my shift, love," albedo sighed—almost sounding like he's tired of your shit, however the smile on his face says otherwise. he wouldn't say it out loud to save himself from your teasing, but he does appreciate being able to see you whilst he works at the front desk. he could just glimpse at you every now and then as you go about your studies.

what he wasn't expecting though, is for you to spend your supposedly 'study time' on causing shenanigans.

"l-love!?" almost dropping the books in his arms, he turns his head to see your face very very close to his, rendering his cheeks and the tips of his ears in a rosy color.

"shush," your voice sounds too close. he felt chills travel across his spine, "just taking a break from my studies."

"love, i am still working!" he chides softly.

he eyes both ends of the aisle, hoping to god that no one comes around this row of the bookshelves while the two of you are still in a very… promising position.

gosh why did you choose to be a menace on his shift?

"you're very warm." your arms wrapped around his middle tighter, nose brushing against the skin on his neck—he can feel every warm breath you take and as you speak.

honestly, if he could stay here in your arms longer, he would. it felt so nice to be near you and feel your touch, shoulders dropping from tension and relaxing.

maybe he could use a short break right now.

until your hand slipped under his sweater.

"l-love!" he yelped a little too loud.

"sssh!"

he frantically whipped his head to check if anyone had come across the aisle, breathing a sigh of relief once he's sure that no is near.

"my, my, you're quite jumpy today."

"and whose fault do you think that is?"

your giggles rang in his ears, goosebumps covering his arms when he felt your lips touch the skin of his neck for a quick peck, before you pull away from his waist. he felt a little disappointed at the absence of your warm, but he dares not to utter it less he sees another one of your mischievous grins. at least you're done messing with him, he would appreciate it if you don't pull another trick on him while he's working.

oh, how wrong he was.

the next few hours, he can feel your stare on him the whole time. your gaze is basically glued on his figure at the front desk, he wonders if you even came here to study in the first place. other than your stare, a few paper planes would reach the desk and he would send you a tired look, rolling his eyes when he sees your smirk and hand gesturing for him to read it.

every paper plane contains compliments that are… quite a bit too much.

u always look good, that's for sure. but you're too handsome in those glasses, mind observing me with those on? ;)

damn, can't even focus on my chem notes. the only chemistry i want is the one u and i have <3

does your work include looking pretty at the front desk?

checking books and accounts is in ur job description, yeah? why don't u check me out?

fuck physical gravitation, i'm attracted to u!

albedo sighs for the nth time, folding the paper plane and discretely slipping it inside his pocket. they're all so characteristically cringe, but he'd be lying if he said none of them made his heart skip a few beats and the corner of his lips tug upwards for a split second. not that he would admit it, but he's pretty sure that you caught on it with how intense you're looking at him right now.

thankfully, you didn't do anything far from the paper planes.

a few moments later, he sees you stand up and disappear behind the science genre aisle, hopefully to finish what you actually came here for.

oh, he spoke too soon.

your figure comes up to the front desk, bag over your shoulder and a few books that you probably want to check out.

"finish studying, love?"

"uh huh!" your enthusiasm is really blinding, but he couldn't bare looking away for even a second as he grabs the books from your arms. "what can i say, the library has a very unique way of inspiring me to study well! a pretty view, effective if i say so myself."

"are you sure you even did any studying?" eyebrow raised, he turns to register your books.

"of course i did! i even got some books to help me later in my study."

the smirk on your face is a little suspicious, he thinks.

"oh really?"

nothing could have prepared him for the amount of… explicit books you handed him.

before he could even compose himself, he can already feel how incredibly warm his cheeks are, hands fumbling around with the books to seem like he's unaffected, clearing his throat. these books are… indeed, intimate and a little too explicit.

"what kind of 'study' are you meaning to do with all these books?"

"you."

this time, the book falls from his hand with a loud thud and he almost choke on air.

"love!"

"sssh!"

god, he's so done with your shit.

[irafuwas]

Theories on Sebek's Unique Magic

Good morning! Hope everyone is staying nice and warm out there. I wanted to go ahead and compile some theories I've had about what Sebek's Unique Magic might end up being. Right now, I've got three different theories, and I'll discuss them more below. I'm curious to hear what you all think! (Please note: This post contains images from cards that aren't available on the EN server yet).

1. Ability to break curses

Sebek is known for his unfaltering, undying loyalty to Malleus, and his admiration for his Lord and desire to stand at his side is what pushes him to be so diligent in his training and his studies. His tunnel-vision of Malleus is so great that he'll often get into quarrels with other students because of it, and he appears to see nothing wrong with the intensity of his devotion.

I feel at this point it's safe to say that Malleus will overblot in Book 7, and leading theories posit he will end up casting a sleeping curse of sorts upon those around him. If he spares his guards, this will give them the opportunity to either follow their Lord in his dark schemes, or to do what is right and stand against him. We've already seen in Endless Halloween that Silver has considered possibly having to make such a choice one day, and I do feel he would choose to defy Malleus and try to save his classmates. But what about Sebek? He's not just simply subservient to Malleus, as Silver is, he idolizes Malleus, sees him as his God. I can imagine that would make it so much harder for Sebek to take up his sword against him.

I think Sebek would, at first, continue to serve Malleus after he's cast his curse on everyone, but then he will ultimately realize that what he's doing is wrong and he will go join Silver in battle against their Lord.

And that's why I think it would be poignant if Sebek's UM ends up being one that can break curses, and he has to use it to break Malleus's sleeping curse and save everyone. Consider, his whole life he has been training and studying and praying and striving to be of service to his Lord, only for his Unique Magic to end up being the very symbol of defiance against the one person his whole existence revolves around. But it would also be a manifestation of his growth as a person, as him choosing to stand up against Malleus and help the people he's hurt would show he's finally learned to consider the feelings and wellbeing of those around him, which we know is something he currently really struggles with.

2. Magical Shield

Sebek and Silver are known to mirror each other in various ways.

Whereas Sebek is loud, brash, and quick to start a fight, Silver is quiet, reserved, and eager to avoid any disputes.

Silver yearns for harmony between all species, whereas Sebek looks down on and despises non-fae.

Silver's non-element magic is light (he is one of only three students in the game like this, the other two being Kalim and Rook), and Sebek's is dark.

Sebek is left handed, and Silver is right handed.

Silver's best subject is P.E. and he seems to focus more on the physical aspects of his training (i.e. sword fighting), whereas Sebek - in addition to his great physical strength and talent in the martial arts - is known to be a bookworm and excels in more difficult subjects like analysis of magic.

They are facing each other in their countdown posters, and they are also facing the opposite way in some of their cards, as well.

And etc., and etc. Furthermore, considering Silver's association with the Sword of Truth from Sleeping Beauty, that would leave Sebek as the Shield of Virtue. The three good fairies bestowed Prince Phillip with these magical armaments before he set off for the final battle against Maleficent, and both served vital roles in his victory, with the the shield protecting him from her deadly flames, and the sword ultimately felling the great dragon after he used it to pierce her heart.

As such, if Silver's UM will be a sword-based one for offense, it is possible that Sebek's UM will be a shield-based defensive type, such as an impenetrable shield created from his magic, or possibly a shield of thorns.

3. Lightning

This one is I think the more obvious choice. He is often considered to be twisted from Maleficent's lightning powers, and there's various pieces of evidence to support this.

Sebek's coffin symbol is a bolt of lightning.

Sometimes when he yells, a thunder sound effect will play.

His explosive personality could be considered representative of lightning

There is lightning all over his Dorm Uniform groovy.

His last name, Zigvolt, has a connotation of electricity. Per Cambridge Dictionary, a volt is "the standard unit used to measure how strongly an electrical current is sent around an electrical system".

With that in mind, it wouldn't at all be surprising if his UM ends up being a lightning-based attack.

[anulithots]

"This was late, but hey, at least there isn't a blood warning... because Teddy bear."

Writeblr Battle Royal. Tangyuan versus Teddo.

So on this battle of @writeblrbattleroyale event hosted by @your-absent-father, we have a Teddy bear and a Cat-like being paired together. This is fine.

It's so insanely funny to me that I entered in two protagonists of mine that were very incompetent compared to my other side characters. I expected them both to die horribly. Teddo did get that fate and it was hilarious.

Also also, anyone who know how to science better than me can correct any of this. It's been a while since I reviewed my quantum physics book and I am currently under the sickness, therefore headache, therefore speedrun, therefore so many broken grammar and science rules.

Thank you so much to @flock-from-the-void for keeping this battle alive and giving the funniest responses to Teddo's nonsense. I really enjoyed this and hope Tangyuan gets the teddy bear he deserves.

TW for death.

---------

Teddo thrived with data. Probabilities. Statistics. Conditional statements and expected values. Teddo would even try quantum mechanics if needed, but very rarely. That whole mess of science rubbed Teddo’s fluff the wrong way. There were already too many other stuffies that used blanket lies to explain the unknown. (“The host deserves it” “It’s just nightmares, what’s so weird about it” “You should be worrying more about your playability, you haven’t been chosen by the host for months”) 

Well, Teddo couldn’t understand these lies. They couldn’t play by the other’s rules. THEY MADE NO SENSE. That alone gave them the reasoning that, “If they made a bunch of nonsense that I refuse to follow, then I’ll just find the truth, the actual truth, no shortcuts or dumbing it down.” Teddo would make the unknown known. Find the answers in this mess. 

And the answer? 

For this? 

The only thing - the only possible explanation - for the whole “in the middle of fighting a 97th percentile nightmare” to “bright, bright, bright, when did the sun get so bright?” phenomena… it had to be quantum mechanics. 

Teddo hated quantum mechanics. 

A bunch of unknowns and ‘could never be knowns’ and ‘ha ha good luck you’ll never figure this out because everything contradicts itself’ 

But, as Teddo looked at their surroundings, they could come to no other hypothesis. This was either a quantum leap or a prolonged decoherence according to the many-worlds-interpretation. But… it’s been a while since Teddo’s looked at their notes, what theories… 

Teddo shook their paws. Nope. The scientific method is “do research” first, then “make a hypothesis.” Sure, this was only weird enough to be described by an equally weird branch of science, but Teddo would not go there if they didn’t have to. 

So first, research and take… notes…. 

Where was Teddo’s research tools? 

Teddo swiveled their head around, they had their… oh no was this the “chance of two 13th percentile nightmares” cardboard sword? The only nightmares these were effective against were accidentally calling the teacher “mom” and dying of embarrassment. 

Other than the sword, Teddo had nothing. 

Nothing. 

Teddo was lost in a web of unknowns. A sea of things they couldn’t figure out. Lies. Lies. Lies. Without their records - the files and files of research Teddo had to figure this out, and they were so so close - Teddo might as well be suffocated by the lies and left behind. 

Teddo pressed their paws to their eyes, shielding themself from the blinding light. 

Calm down. There must be… some solution. Think clearly. 

Teddo took a breath. Okay. They had to find some handhold, some… 

Someone else. 

There was someone else in this place. 

—---

Tuan Tangyuan was standing here, in the middle of a white arena, a bit bored. He couldn't focus on a voice - he was occupied with tangling his ginger hair instead and mumbling about the entertainment industry. He wished that anyone would warn him about teleportation the next time around. In the end, reality shows didn't have to be that realistic.

—--

Teddo hoped their breath wasn’t shaky. 

Teddo berated themself for caring what the others thought. They never thought well. But here was the hypothesis - put upon nothing at all - that this creature would believe in them, not like the stuffies back home. This one wouldn’t tell Teddo to stop searching for the truth and instead tell them to participate better in their lies. 

Teddo flicked their ears. “Salutations other - hopefully living - being, do you possess any parchments? Writing utensils? They are of the utmost importance.”

-----

A new voice caught the attention of his fluffy cat ears. The demon listened to the question of a teddy bear, his weaving tail uncovering his curiosity. He went quickly through his pockets, not only looking for something for writing but also making sure that all of his belongings were still there. They were.

Finally, he offered the teddy bear a pencil and a violet crayon. “ Maybe you could write on the floor with the crayon?” he suggested.

—---

Crayon. 

Well, it wouldn’t be as precise as Teddo’s meticulously sharpened pencils, (What they would do for their notes, pencils, some sense of familiarity.), but it would work. 

And that was better than nothing. It was so much better than nothing. 

Teddo snatched the crayon, and wrote down all the knowns, the postulates. A few conditional statements and the logic chain would hopefully result in some useful conclusions, then they could continue with the scientific method, find the absolute truths of this place, and then maybe Teddo’s metaphysical, non-existent heart would stop beating so loud.

Teddo wrote it down in a list, using arrows to different charts with further data and information. The crayon smudged a bit, but Teddo didn’t care. They wrote in a frenzy, the idea of data they could work off of intoxicating. 

They must be in an arena, with the not-people in the stands (1978, give or take five.), and the other crayon giving creature… cat-like, although a definite conclusion on the species would have to wait. (Some thought in the back of Teddo’s head made a joke about Schrödinger's cat.) The host has had enough dreams about owning a cat - and enough nightmares about accidentally killing it - to give Teddo enough information to write out enough stats about their opponent… although they may need information from the cat-like being themself. 

Teddo paused their frantic writing to look at their opponent. “I will need an accurate recollection of all your strengths and weaknesses.”

----

Tuan Tangyuan smirked, showing his sharp teeth. Oh, this timing couldn't go to waste. “Strengths...?”

He grabbed the opponent by the back of their head. He smashed it on the floor. Violet notes got blurry.

—--

A high pitched scream filled the arena. Teddo could scream that loud? The decibel level was astounding. 

Teddo’s stuffing tangled into clumps, metaphysical heart threatening to burst. 

99th percentile. 99th percentile. AND all Teddo had was a freaking 12th percentile sword. Teddo bet the cat-like creature never accidentally called their teacher “mom”. 

Oh, Teddo was trying to buy time from the tangled, half-formed thoughts that screamed one result. One undeniable result. 

They weren’t going to win. 

And, for some reason, that caused all reason to leave Teddo’s head. Like some unicorn stuffie, some pathetic unicorn stuffie, they threw the crayon at the cat’s face. (That wouldn’t do anything, the momentum was miniscule.) 

Well, Teddo had only one weapon. 

They bonked the cat on the head repeatedly. It wouldn’t do any damage, except for the 12.6% chance for a cardboard cu-

The sword nicked the cat’s face, a small red line that held Teddo’s only hope to survive today. And, great Eulicid, it was infinitesimally small. 

—----

Tuan Tangyuan wrinkled his nose and showed his teeth once again, this time not in a smile. His claws went out. With one hand he catched the sword - the other slapped the opponent. Tiny bits of stuffing got stuck in his nails.

—-

Stuffing pooled out from the cuts. It should hurt. It should’ve hurt. Fabric torn. Insides floating to the dust below. 

Teddo wouldn’t just loose. Teddo would cease to exist. 

This wasn’t a nightmare. This was a real, physical fight. Teddo truly was lost. Lost in a world they could never hope to understand. Their only, futile, pathetic hope was their data. 

And if that was all Teddo had, then their chance of death really was 100%. 

It was at this moment that all sense of reason spilled out of Teddo, mixed with the lost stuffing. 

Teddo yanked the sword from the cat’s grip. It tore to a jagged lump, barely 2nd percentile worthy. They proceeded to take this useless piece of cardboard and stab the cat’s foot. 

Teddo couldn’t cry, but they wanted to. “DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE.” 

They only delayed some inevitable result. 

—-----

For a good moment, he was so confused he couldn't move. He was staring and stuffing coming out of the bear. He was expecting blood - but this seemed like more fun! He had to obliterate them. Yet, every time he tried to catch them, they somehow managed to escape. He had to jump and tear, and kick, and generally have the time of his life to finally get them in his hands. Giving it no thought at all, he bit the bear and then laughed with his mouth full of material. This! Was! So! Exciting! Every stitch had to be cut, and every bit of the bear's body had to be covered in holes.

Half an hour later, Tuan Tangyuan was lying on the ground smiling, finally somewhat satisfied. The area was covered in the stuffing. He got up, collected everything he had lost during the ecstasy and bowed. After getting back home, he had to buy one of those teddy bears for himself.

[lilacshouko]

We Need a Little Romance In Life

Warning(s): bad grammar 😭 I’m trying to fix within my abilites | Update: unkown | Webtoon heavy (follow webtoon with a change here and there) | OC centric (Female)-but you can think however you want.

masterlist | next

Chapter 1

Enjoy! ><

A huge greenhouse look-alike

A very very handsome-beautiful Platinum haired, blue-eyed young man, received a call.

In front of the man, known as Kartein, stood a young woman in her early 20 that had the same feature as the Kartein, but was more feminine and soft.

She is the one and only Kartein’s adorable precious treasure, Claris.

—

“Was it…Kayden?”

Claris asked as she poured a newly brewed tea for her Brother. Kartein thanked her and took a sip before answering, 

“The one and only”

“What did he want?”

“...Heal..”

“Him? So the rumor is true, he’s injured?”

“I’m not sure, but he will teach me his force control”

 Claris makes an ‘o’ … She knows Kayden. Kayden Break. The conceited, arrogant, fighting maniac that fortunately backed up with his outstanding power…and brain.

And his handsome face, plus body.

BUT! Brother Kartein is still the best!' - Clari's inner heart -

‘I hope it’s nothing too serious… although he said he will tell Brother his Force Control…and I guess, I will be visiting Korea much much sooner than I planned’

—

Korea, Jiwoo’s hospital room.

‘I spoke too soon. THIS IS SERIOUS! BEYOND SERIOUS! THIS IS FATAL!’ 

Here, the trio of renowned awakeners stood in front of the patient, Seo Jiwoo, a.k.a Kayden’s Disciple.

Claris is the only one with a pale face, all colors drained from her face. She did know before she met the boy, so she’s prepared but also likes to think that maybe Kayden misdiagnosed or whatever it is, since he’s not a healer. He sucks at it. 

“Jiwoo, this is Kartein the best healer, and his younger sister, Claris also a healer, second only to this man” Kayden introduced Brother and I. Half-heartedly.

“Uh, Uhm. Hello…” 

Ok, Claris may be well-mannered, a soft-spoken person, and looks timid, which is not wrong but also not true. She can be blunt and have no mercy.

She shot a half-hearted glare toward Kayden. The young boy greeted her and her brother back. Turning her gaze towards the main focus of the day, Seo Jiwoo.

She took note of how his core are shattered by his physical wound.

‘His Core are shattered very carefully that it will be a challenge to fix….no…it’s more like impossible to be fixed. However, his arms, whoever did fix his arms did a good job. Was it Dr.Delein, the one that did that experiment…despite his questionable experiment, his skill is no joke….I guess I’ll visit him.’

While Claris is busy with her thoughts, Kayden, Kartein, and Jiwoo talk about the possible core fixing. The two awakened leave the room since Jiwoo asked to talk with Kartein alone. Claris decided to follow Kayden out.

Kartein soundproofs the room, but Claris and Kayden can still hear the conversation, seeing that Kartein doesn’t make it tight.

“Kayden…”

The blue-haired man glance at the platinum-haired woman and shrugged.

She sigh. Knowing this man for years now, she knows this man like an open book. Kayden tend to hide his inner feeling..not that he had one…more like, sometimes…ok…more than sometimes, he doesn’t share his feeling much like brother (Kartein). Kayden and Kartein are more similar than they would like and acknowledge, in front of that, deep down both know and understand each other like blood-related siblings. Claris that grow up and was raised by Kartein, ends up able to read Kayden’s too. After all, Kayden is like another brother to her. An annoying one, that is. 

The door opened, The best healers come out. 

“Brother”

Claris immediately went to his side, holding his arm. Kartein look straight to Kayden.

“Aren’t you (them, technically) bring too obvious when eavesdropping?”

“...” Kayden just keeps silent.

“Take us to your place”

Claris look shocked, and the freeloader..also look shocked “HUH!!?”

“It took us days to get here. We need rest, don’t you think? After all, we are here because of you”

The trio walked away to Kayden’s place….also known as Jiwoo’s house.

It’s a spacious, modern house.

Kayden opened the front door, Claris behind him, Kartein the last one

“You’re staying here?”

“Yup”

Claris took note of other living beings inside the house, she peered from Kayden’s back and spotted 3 adorable cats and another one on the sofa.

“CATS!!”

“Cats?!”

Claris looks excited, while Kartein just looks at the cats..loss of words.

He never imagined that the infamous Kayden Break would own…or even take care of an animal. He is already a handful after all. But, who he is to judge, without Claris, Kartein probably will have a bit of a hard time managing his work or research. 

See, the two of them are more similar, unbeknownst to themselves and their denial.

“Kayden, are you sure you didn’t hit your head somewhere?” Kartein for sure can’t believe what he is seeing right now.

“Why?”

“It's just so weird…the cats..”

“So?”

“I just couldn’t imagine you being a cat person to suit your image..”

“What are you even saying?”

Kayden stood up and walked towards the Kitchen, to give food to the cats.

Claris giggled.

But then, blue flashes from the kitchen. Just at the right timing, Kartein and Claris watched it unfold.

Both are shocked.

The great infamous Kayden Break turned into a cat, a big cat.

‘At least he’s cute now’ Claris thought, then redirected her eyes to see how her brother would react.

You see, Kartein is someone that you could say is a ‘mad scientist’ thought, he’s not into that level, not like Dr.Delein. Kartein is just very eager and knowledge starved if that is a word. He loves to get new things on his hands.

Claris walked herself out of the crime scene and sat on the sofa, watching her brother and Catyden (Kayden as a cat) having a conversation. Already get the ideas of what will happen.

Her brother then sits next to her, in deep thought, same as Kayden. Well, Kayden looks more like, a bit wary at Kartein's unexpected reaction.

Claris hold her laughter. 

Watching the two, as they have a conversation turns into a sort-of negotiation.

‘He doesn’t want to change back?…hmmm…Kayden is indeed moody, but, he did sustain an injury, I think, he couldn't change back is more appropriate. But then, It’s not exactly my business, If Brother decided to learn and changed to a cat, he wouldn’t have a problem easily transforming back-to-back…’

She noticed that Kartein clenched his fist in anger.

‘Brother…sometimes, I can’t help but worry about you. You’re smart but also can be an idiot. BUT THAT'S WHAT MAKES BROTHER CUTE AND AWESOME!!!’

Claris sighed and decided to just take a nap or sleep. Using her brother as a pillow.

She vaguely hears the reason why Jiwoo refuses the treatment, and how Kartein wants the technique that Kayden used to turn himself into a cat.

‘Yes, I should just sleep’

——-

The next day, The trio visits Jiwoo again to start the healing process or treatment. 

He refused, of course. Watching the comedic interaction between Kartein, Kayden, and the innocent Jiwoo…. was gold. Claris already noticed that the technique isn’t important for Kayden, but knowing her Brother is already obsessed with it, he won’t change his mind. After all, Kayden and Kartein's circumstances are different.

Unfortunately, Jiwoo had another attack (aftershocks). Thankfully, Kayden was quick to act, and so was her Brother. 

She decided to assist at the beginning of the healing process, while Jiwoo was still out cold. She has full confidence in Kartein's ability, but healing the broken…shattered core…not an easy job, and to make the process faster, Claris will heal other injuries to make the process smoother, so Kartein will focus only on fixing the core.

“Hehe..” Claris couldn’t help but giggle, remembering how Jiwoo refused.

“?”

“Ah, no, It’s just that he’s as stubborn as Kayden. He is still a good boy thru and through”

“Ha, one Kayden in the world is enough, don’t you think? Claris supports me until we're finished. I need you to give support for his core so the healing will be faster.” Kartein sighs and gives a soft smirk to Claris. The shorter platinum-haired awakener gives a big smile,

“Of course, Brother!”

The two fall into silent, full concentration. Knowing that Kayden is protecting them, Claris can fully support Kartein. Under different circumstances, usually, Claris will be the one that protects Kartein during the healing process, since he will be off-guard.

—-

Outside Jiwoo’s room

Kayden on guard noticed Yoo Jiyoung and Goo Inhyuk from Shinhwa came. Kayden and Jiyoung talked until the topic changed to the broken core,

“I have never heard anyone being able to get their core fixed.”

“Same here. After all, once a core is smashed, it’s the end. But Kartein said he can. Besides, Claris is known to have shattered the awakener's core during her first debut as world rankers. I’m sure it’s not impossible for them”

“Lady Claris also here?!”

“She’s attached to his hip. Besides, I believe in Kartein's abilities, as well as Claris”

Inside Jiwoo’s room, Kartein’s face became softer and a small smile adorned his beautiful face. Claris notices that and smiles.

‘Well, it was the past, now no one challenges me anymore. Tho, I will have to thank my past enemies, because I got lots of knowledge from the shattered core that now we can fix it. As long as no foreign energy in there’

----

Taglist: (comment on masterlist post)

@kreishin

[alienaiver]

Chapter 1: miles

Chapter summary: your father has passed and you must stand up with your head held high as you accept your fate - you mustn’t show the overwhelm on your face. as you meet your new advisor for the first time, hope sprouts in the deepest part of you.

Warnings for this chapter: mentions of parental death, i’m exploring grief but only mildly as it is not entirely the main focus. Otherwise, it’s fluffy and world-building-ish

Wordcount: 8.7k words

Chapter content: fluff, sfw, fantasy AU, royalty AU, mild angst, genderneutral reader (so neutral that both men and women can also insert themselves), poc and bodytype! friendly reader, no use of y/n, tense and offical language from idiot to idiot, budding romance

notes: here is the first chapter!! i gotta admit, im actually very nervous about this. i know its good!!! but like!! does it make sense? to other people? this was honestly an imprompto idea i came up with and decided “heck, itll be good practice for my own fantasy book” and then. sat down LMFAO. ive never written medieval fantasy like this before and i think thats where my nervousness stems from! i also made sure to make the reader as gender neutral as possible since i usually only stumble upon afab!readers in fantasy and i wanted to provide some more <33333

series masterlist ┋  next

Truth be told you were never the proper heir you were supposed to have been at 25 years of age. You’d already assumed the title Crown-in-Waiting at the age of 17, marking the official beginning of your training to become the ruler of Karasuno Kingdom.

But with a young father in prime health, the start of your title’s work had been slow. He’d seen no reason to hurry with the preparations of you taking over the throne as he saw himself with many years to rule still. Your education, of course, began in childhood and you were familiar with communications between the territories and you were even with land to steward already. The peace treaty between Karasuno Kingdom and the Nekoma States four years ago were done by yours truly, heralded as such in stories, albeit it was with your crown’s supervision. You’ve been talked of as the Bringer of Serenity by the Farseers and even in the songs written by the minstrels, a Catalyst for Unity. The titles make heat flush to your face and a desire to hide your face in your hands emerge from you, but you’ve been very grateful with the positive tone your kingdom’s had with you so far even with your inexperience.

 So when tragedy strikes, you’re taken aback abruptly and the walls that’s been protecting you for your entire life crumbles around you. The physical walls of the Karasu Keep are still very much intact but that does nothing to quell the grief that emerges from deep inside of you at the news. The crown’s death is a shock to everyone from the coastal regions and well through the inland duchies and it strikes the kingdom with sorrow as it hits the keep where you’ve just spent the past few days in practical leisure, awaiting the return of your father.

You don’t understand. This was a routine trip – one to keep up the agreements between Karasuno Kingdom and the Fukurodani Empire that your father journeyed every year to show the kingdom’s appreciation of cooperation. The trading between the two kingdoms had both risen and prospered with the proper and legal routes to jewels, silks, and leathers. You grasp at the necklace around your neck with the Moonstone embedded, gifted to you by said empire as you try to control your breathing. Your drawing room’s filled with servants, all frozen and observing you horribly, unsure of how to help you handle the news that the poor errand boy came running into your quarters with mere moments ago.

“I wish to be left.” is all you can mutter out before you fall back on the armchair you rose from at the errand boy’s arrival. Everyone scrambles to leave except for your closest maidservant and dear friend, Azumane. As silence drapes over the room like a blanket, you belatedly realize you’d dropped the book you were reading on the floor – you’d probably have to search a while for the page you’d reached. You can’t seem to remember what page you’d last counted.

Azumane’s hands are holding your left, drawing circles into the palm in what he hopes is a calming gesture, “I’m so sorry for your loss, your Majesty.” he tries but you internally tut at the formality of his words. Those are words from a servant, not from a friend. And you’d like your friend at this moment.

“Oh, what am I to do, Asahi?” you ask him but you’d be surprised if he had any other answer than the one you already know. You sigh and look out the window to your left, at the unchanged scenery of the mountains that’s currently covered in the whitest snow. No one climbs them during this time of year.

He mirrors you with a sigh and it’s clear he’s struggling to hold back tears. Yours has yet to come. An official declaration has to be called, a notice to mark the Seven days of Mourning before you will have to claim the throne as the next crown. You will have to contact your father’s advisor, the knights, figure out if and where his body might be located so you can go forth with the burial on the seventh day or if you need to reschedule the mourning of the kingdom. You know the errand boy down from the kitchens and you’re convinced of the fact that he raced to inform you as soon as the runner had returned with the news. You might even have been told before your father’s advisor who stayed home from the journey, seeing as it had been a supposedly friendly meet with long-standing and positive relationships. You inhale sharply before you once again rise from the chair with a heavy look in your eyes. You must endure the entire country’s grief as a seed next to your own and handle the duties passed on to you with as much flawless grace as possible as to not rouse any mistrust with neighboring kingdoms.

                                                        ///

Curiously and almost miraculously, Sugawara has never formally been introduced to you or met you even though he’s been living in the keep almost as long as you, only short of the first 11 years of his life. You and he have even shared the same scribe tutoring you in both letters and numbers when you were younger, but somehow your ways never intertwined growing up.

 That doesn’t mean Sugawara doesn’t know you.

 You’ve always made your dutiful appearances in the royal court and the lands you’ve stewarded through the years have always described you as proper and good at handling your responsibilities. Your studies are known and remarkable throughout the lands and he’s sure that like every other bachelorette and bachelor in this land, he blushes at your gentle smiles you grace your people with. Your speeches are always bubbling over with love for your kingdom and your people and there’s no doubt in his heart that you were meant for the role you’ve been given in life. You’re a star in your own right.

 He's also been blessed personally, a few colorful times in his life as the advisor’s successor, to eye contact directly from you in court or during festivities. It’s taken everything in him always to keep it, to prolong the fortunate moment where the two of you are connected in more than just being in the same hall.

His friends have teased him that he should get used to your blazing gaze connecting with his, seeing how much you’ll be together once you become crown.

 In the Karasuno Kingdom, it is not uncommon for the royal advisor of the current crown to resign and pass over their role to their own successor when the crown changes heads. Which is also why, he thinks, that they’ve never introduced the two of you. Both the current crown himself and his advisor were sure of his long life yet, full of vitality and youth. There was no reason to start cooperating between the Crown-in-Waiting and their advisor before it was deemed necessary. Sugawara’s always been impatient since he’s known who he was supposed to work with and support since childhood and looked forward to it with an almost fanatical excitement. But this? This isn’t how he’s ever pictured your meeting before.

Which is funny because he’s always known his supposedly exciting work wouldn’t begin until his crown passed away. He writes it down to the fact that he started his apprenticeship when he was still too young to know what that entailed yet and thereafter hasn’t given the procedure of the start much thought. Much like a child learning they’ll inherit something from a parent when they pass and being excited for that day to come before understanding the implication.

 His teacher is pacing around the tower room that has been Sugawara’s study since childhood, muttering curses and grudges to himself. The “this wasn’t supposed to happen” seems to be the most recurring phrase in his current, panic-induced vocabulary. Sugawara wants to be understanding and empathetic towards his teacher who has just learned the news that his superior and dearest friend has passed away in an untimely fashion but he also can’t help but dread how the current situation looks – to the outside, mostly. He knows you’re popular and well-liked within the walls of their keep and in the kingdom as a whole but it’s no secret even across their borders that you’re sitting very much ill-prepared for the challenge you’re going to have to face now. The crown has often – though most times have been in an inebriated state – proudly announced that he kept you off of the usual Crown-in-Waiting duties so that you could enjoy a free life as long as possible.

Sugawara’s not even sure how much practical knowledge you even possess, having not been the one advising you until now (not that anyone has, the position has been formally his since you entered the Crown-in-Waiting title eight years ago.)

 His mentor, who’s been very much like a father to him too, takes in a deep, steadying breath and then turns to Sugawara, “I am not allowed to introduce you until the Seven Days of Mourning has passed since it will count as official work not to do with the burial. You must prepare as much as you possibly are able to within the walls of this study but keep your focus on politics, the public relations, and laws so that you will be best prepared in the immediate affairs they might have to deal with.”

Sugawara nods and start to walk towards the bookcases lining the far wall, filled with both books, scrolls and study notes he’s accumulated over the years. The four bookcases had intimidated him back when he just began, so empty safe for a few five to ten books and scrolls. His teacher had proudly told him of how full they’d become when he was done and he’d scarcely believed him. But here he is over 15 years later with books stacked on the floor due to lack of space.

With tears lining his lower lash line, he starts reading up on the most recent border and trade laws engaged with the southern duchies, guessing trouble might rise there first.

                                                        ///

It is the Seventh Day of Mourning and tomorrow he will have to work side-by-side with a grieving Crown-in-Waiting turning leader of a whole kingdom. The burial of the king has finished a mere few hours ago and Sugawara’s currently in the servant’s kitchens with his close friend, head of the Royal Guards, Sawamura Daichi, drinking ale and eating the simple feast that marks the end of the Mourning.

There will be days of preparation before the crowning will commence. All the coastal and inland dukes have to be gathered and publicly announce their agreement and support to the Crown-in-Waiting for the coronation before they can presume their role as the rightful ruler of this country. However, Sugawara is officially able to be announced your advisor tomorrow as it requires a much smaller ceremony, one that mostly includes a few elected officials and his own teacher. And most nerve-wrackingly,

You.

 “I hope the precious Crown-in-Waiting is prepared for what’s coming.”

Sawamura sounds bitter and Sugawara’s actually surprised he doesn’t put his mug down harder than he does. He raises an eyebrow silently at his friend, deciding to give him the free space to vent his rage. He knows it’s not about the Crown-in-Waiting at all. Sawamura slurs out some more profanities and when he’s about to mutter out words that border on the line of treason thanks to the amount of ale he’s taken in, Sugawara shuts him up, “I know you feel guilty but you’ll be banished if you utter out any more words.” He takes the mug from the head of the Royal Guard calmly as if looking for a fight but his friend lets him, lets him wrap his arm around his shoulders so he can carry him back to the barracks. Sawamura is one of the important people meant to oversee his friend’s own inaugural ceremony as the official royal advisor so Sugawara would like him in proper shape.

 Outside in the courtyard, Sawamura gets queasy and Sugawara sighs over the fact that he didn’t stop him from drinking sooner. He lets him bend over a bush and turn away from the sounds of his friend spilling out his emotional guts.

“Are you ever punished if you get vomit on the armor?” he asks his best friend to lighten the mood, halfway to the barracks. Sawamura grunts in response and gags again, this time with a low, self-deprecating laugh following to signal he’s just messing with Sugawara. “Daichi.” Sugawara says sternly as if to remind him that he’s currently doing him a favor, dragging him away before he makes a mess or even loses his title and work.

“You’ll protect the new crown too, right?” Sugawara can’t help but ask as he eyes the lights of the entrance. He knows his friend would never betray the Crown no matter who wore it but he fears he feels too guilty to serve properly. When Sawamura doesn’t answer he says his entire name in a reprimanding manner, hoping to get a proper response. Sawamura drags his arm back from Sugawara and he lets him, watches him bend down to a squat next to him on the ground, “I killed him, Koushi. It’s my fault.”

It’s all he lets out and Sugawara has to drag him back up again with a reprimand of too much ale. Luckily, a few of his Guardsmen, Tanaka and Nishinoya are enjoying the fresh air of the night and casual talk outside the barracks and spot them when they’re near. They thank Sugawara for his help and promise to get their commander back in bed safely.

The walk back to the keep isn’t far, especially when you aren’t carrying your heavy-hitter Royal Guard Commander of a friend over your shoulder. Sugawara sighs out as he looks up at the sky. The stars are visible tonight and he tries to recall the constellations he was taught once. He almost wants to laugh at himself for his inability to use the stars – he hopes he doesn’t ever have to guide his crown through wilderness with only the stars to guide him. He’d never get them to safety. If he makes sure Azumane is with you, he’s convinced you’ll be fine. He sees his own breath in the air and chases it with his hand, reaching towards the sky as if asking for guidance.

 Still, Sawamura’s words haunt him. Everyone knows it wasn’t anywhere near his fault that their crown has tragically passed and no one is accusing him of the death but Sugawara thinks that he can understand the knight’s pride. He was with the crown when he passed, surrounded by savage bandits of unknown origins, unable to protect his sworn crown and get him home safely and alive. Sugawara feels a shiver run down his back from the thought of the pain he must be going through -and the survivor’s guilt that must be pooling in his gut, gnawing, growing, and taking form. He knows Sawamura would’ve given his own life had it saved the ruler of their beloved kingdom. He’s suddenly glad that Sawamura has other knights to take care of him too, people who will get his devotion and hurt better than Sugawara, a meager advisor who has scarcely left the Karasu Keep growing up except for going to the three nearby and local towns. A man who’s never known the blood or the decisions of the battlefield. He bows slightly and mentally thanks Sawamura’s men in the guard for also guarding him as he gives the stars a final look.

   The sky outside is clear and Sugawara can faintly hear the birds from the big oak tree outside of the stained-glass window in his study. Like many nights before, he’s taken to sleeping in the quarters of his books and parchments, comforted by the scent of his candles and the endless pages. The calm doesn’t last long before the door swings open and his mentor hurries inside and closes the door with a back-kick, “I’ve been looking all over for you, Koushi! You must prepare for the ceremony at once!”

He’s tutting at him but he nonetheless places a tray with breakfast in front of him – one of finer quality than Sugawara is used to seeing and he can’t stop himself from tracing the veins of the wood. It’s carvings is compelling and beautiful.

He hears his mentor scoff at him, “Koushi! No time! Eat your fill – I know you’re prone to a bigger filling of grain but I know you. If you eat too much, you’ll be nauseous during the ceremony!” he sits down on the chair opposite of the desk and pushes air out through his nose, “imagine that! So focused on your own stomach you won’t hear a word being said to you by the crown!”

Sugawara laughs cheerfully and pulls the tray closer to him, delighted at the sight of a cup with flower tea. His mentor has always treated him to this exclusive tea during milestones of his training. “What? Are you speaking from experience?” he jokes as he takes the first bite of the bread from the side, already buttered. Based on the fillings, he suspects it’s the kitchen matron who’s prepared this. She’s always enjoyed treating him, complimenting him on his polite and kind behavior (when he in truth was sent on a test by his mentor to test his conversational skills in regard to intercepting information not given easily or for free).

His mentor scoffs again and jerks his head up in mock-offense, “I know of no such thing.”

Sugawara laughs and reaches for the glass of water. It’s cold and newly pumped and he feels he’s in for a treat with this lavish breakfast he’s being given. His mentor sighs out before he relaxes down into the chair, “is there a particular reason you did not sleep in your quarters tonight?” he asks, his fingers intertwining on his lap. The question is calculated, his eyes drilling into Sugawara who winces. “It’s better here.” Is all he can really come up with and his mentor smiles before sighing again – a nostalgic one, one that reminds of good old days. For a moment it feels to Sugawara like time has stopped and it’s just the two of them, in the study, as it has always been. “And so we all know that feeling. I’m going to miss our days together, young lad.”

Sugawara swallows a spoonful of grain thickly at the weary words. He knows this is his awkward way of saying his goodbyes before the world starts turning again. In a matter of moments after his breakfast is finished, he will have to go straight to Kinoshita to be fitted so he can adorn his newly embroidered uniform and meet you in the royal court for the séance that will put him under you officially.

 The robe that he’s wearing fits him to a T. He doesn’t expect it not to with the master dressmakers on board. Azumane was originally scouted and traveled to the Karasu Keep in order to be trained to become head seamster for the royal court but gained such a deep connection with the Crown Child that he chose to become their maid servant and simply oversee the needlework made. His mentor had left him in rage then, traveled to another kingdom in search of a new heir but Sugawara knew that Azumane never regretted the decision.

Still, just because the robes fit him doesn’t mean it’s not uncomfortable. It’s weighty, long and the sleeves are bigger than what he’s used to. He knows it’s a formality and that he will most likely only have to wear this for official appearances in court and at meetings but he fears how he will handle ink and glasses of water with this garment on. A creeping panic suddenly dawns on him; is he supposed to always wear this in your presence? As he looks at himself in the looking glass, he tries to fix his hair – the tuft of hair sticking up looks out of place in such delicate robes.

 There’s not much time to think any more fearful thoughts on the fabrics bestowed upon him before Sawamura enters the room, all noise and intimidation from the sound of him walking in the Royal Festive Armor. Its black and sleek and Sawamura’s holding the helmet under his arm. His surcoat is in the new orange colors adorning the crow’s head made to be used for your reign. The former crown’s design was very much similar and varied only in color and pose of the crow. The helmet under Sawamura’s arm also resembles a crow’s head but only enough to be able to tell if you knew.

It's generally an impractical armor and Sugawara’s glad he doesn’t have to wear it – quietly doubts if he’d be strong enough to keep standing with the weight of it. He keeps that thought to himself as his friend gives him a hug and a pat on the back. “Your new uniform suits you,” Sawamura muses as he gives his friend a look-over, “you’ve finally grown into your title.”

There’s a smirk on his face as he teases Sugawara with that compliment. It wasn’t too long after Sawamura got instated as the Royal Guard Commander that Sugawara had wailed to his friend over mugs of ale about how he wanted a title soon too and how he felt left behind. Sugawara sticks out his tongue at his friend, “at least my robes are way more comfortable than all your shiny garments!” he retorts and Sawamura simply shakes his head at his friend and lets him have the win. Sugawara scoffs at the patronizing act but visibly still relishes in the win.

The seamstress bows at him as he proceeds to pack down his kit of threads that he used for the minor adjustments. Sugawara can’t help but notice the abundance of golden and silver threads too, straightening his back at the realization that he’ll also be doing your final fitting. He leaves with yet another bow and he smile tensely at his leaving form. He’s not sure he’ll get used to the formalities of his new title – after all, he’s been the errand boy for most of the keep for so many years, never regarded as anything more than another young boy running from the stables to the kitchens in search of adventure and possibly an opportunity to steal a light snack before supper. Kinoshita, the seamster taking care of his gown, was one of the boys he used to run around with. It’s odd, he thinks.

 Sugawara is pulled out of his stupor by the door being thrown open in haste, much like this morning in his study and he is in no way surprised to see his mentor beam at him proudly, a tear threatening to spill from his lash line. He lifts up his arms as he approaches, “oh my young boy,” he starts and Sugawara laughs and reciprocates the movement of extending his arms before he does a spin to show his beloved mentor and parental figure his new uniform and start of his new life. He’s enveloped in a tight hug and sees Sawamura cackle off to the side at the display of a proud parent embarrassing their child in front of their friends. He rolls his eyes and hugs back, “thank you for everything.”

He wants to say more, express more feelings but his mentor pushes him back to arm’s length and inhales sharply, his eyes screwed shut. He exhales slowly before he takes another look at the boy I front of him, all grown into the man he helped him become. Words would not suffice for any of the emotions both of them are feeling and hums out an affirmation that his feelings have reached him. It’s an entirely intimate moment for both of them before they hug again, fast, as a finality. This will be Sugawara’s new path. His own path, on his own two legs. He hopes he’s strong enough to carry the will of you and the kingdom with him.

                                                        ///

 You’re pacing around the room, anxious and fidgeting. Besides your beloved father and former crown’s funeral, this will be your first order of business – which feels immense and heavy, even if no decisions are put on you except for the appearance to ordinate your new advisor’s role. You envy him for being a thousand leagues more prepared than you. You hope he’s kind.

You know he is.

He’s never been a stranger to you in all fairness. You’ve observed him, embarrassingly often. At first it was genuine curiosity in childhood and young adulthood about the boy who was supposed to become your right hand, your biggest support and confidant. When your curiosity had become too obvious to play off as you aged, Azumane had gladly provided you with stories of his friend and eased your fear of the unknown.

The biggest reason for your worry is more embarrassing than any of the actual causes of concern, ludicrously enough. Because with all the wonderful and heartwarming stories you’ve been provided by both your maidservant, the kitchen maids and other tutors in your life, your heart has spun another story of his own, one of rose colors and stargazing.

In your defense, Sugawara Koushi is a very handsome young gentleman who’s always kind to anyone he encounters and diligent in both studies and work. In his spare time, he helps the scribe, Takeda Ittetsu, tutor the Keep children in both numbers and letters. He engages in the conservation of documents and is an active part of both the maps and the libraries’ keeping to.

It’s a very favorable image of a person meant to become so close to you. Not to mention that his smile always makes your heart skip a beat. Azumane often scolds you for reading too many romance novels and not enough educational works to prepare you better and at a time like this, you think you should’ve listened to him more.

You’re not supposed to be in love with your advisor.

Not to mention, a royal advisor whom you’ve never even met.

 The seamstress urges you to stand still again, fitting the hem of your newly tailored dress shirt, sewn for this purpose. You’re sure you’ll wear it again for some other occasion, enamored by the pattern of silk on the elaborate sleeves. It’s a deeply saturated, royal red with orange embroidered in with immaculate attention to detail, the cuffs closed by obsidian-like cufflinks. You straighten your back at the seamstress’ request as your father’s royal advisor goes over the ceremony with you.

You’ve practiced the speech and rituals since learning this would one day be your first role to fulfill, excitement vibrating through your bones as you were going through old scriptures and scrolls telling of this deeply traditional-bound ceremony. He praises you as you repeat the words back at him and you preen, your back straightening even more in pride. He shakes his head with a chuckle, proud of what you’ve become even if none were prepared for the timeline to be pushed as such.

                                                         ///

 No one prepared Sugawara for just how many people would actually attend his ceremony. It’s probably not as many as he feels, but the eyes all on him makes him queasy and he silently thanks his mentor for restraining his breakfast just a little bit for him. It’s obviously not as many people as will attend your coronation, but it still makes his heartrate spike to see the many attendees turn their heads at his arrival in the court. He’s announced by the speaker and stands where he’s been told, clearing his throat to alleviate some of his nervousness while he awaits your entrance.

 All eyes turn to you as your arrival is announced before you then then do something unexpected that almost makes him laugh out loud. He manages to keep it to a cut-off chuckle but you bow. You bow to the court as if you’re not supposed to become the crown of this kingdom in a matter of days and there’s a few gasps, giggles and various reactions sprinkled throughout the audience and you smile sheepishly before pacing your way to stand next to the throne.

On top of your head is the same crown that Sugawara often saw adorned on your father and his heart aches. He knows it’s been fitted to your exact measurements but he can’t help but be amazed at how well it suits you.

The kingdom’s opinion of you is at a crucial tipping point at best right now but seeing you stand there, your head held high and back straight, he feels that everything will turn out alright. He relaxes his own shoulders as you start your speech meant for your father’s royal advisor, telling anecdotes of growing up watching him and your father in the courtyard and finishing by bestowing upon him the Black wings of the Crow, the highest honor the royal family can award anyone, as a way to cement you and your kingdom’s gratefulness to all of his years of service.

Sugawara’s heart soars with happiness to see him receive such honors from the crown themselves and straightens his back again, overly conscious of how he’s posing in your presence. He hopes it’ll get easier with time.

 Sugawara is being presented to the court of officials and his eyes search for Sawamura and relaxes. In the corner he also sees Azumane send him a discreet thumbs up and lets out a grounding breath. He stands before you and bows, his head bent down, trying not to stare at your feet too much but using it as a focus point. You’re wearing black leather boots with heel that resembles your father’s usual style very much. When he thinks back, he’s sure your father’s had a designed pattern on them but yours are curiously bare except for the straps and pins closing it around your ankle and shin.

You recite the ancient tongue that is regarded as the first lines from the first ever inauguration ceremony of this kind, cementing the bond between ruler and advisor. Sugawara’s heart is beating hundreds of beats per minute as he tries not to do something that’ll ruin this magical moment. That doesn’t stop his brain from providing him with fears he didn’t even know he possessed; imagine if he lost balance and fell (he’s on his right knee with an arm supporting him), what if he has to sneeze (he knows how to control them) and the oddest one, what if you look at him and decide you don’t see him as a good fit? He’s got no counterpoint for that one, and that’s the scariest part.

He feels your palm on the top of his head and hears the acute way your breath hitches before you speak loudly and clearly,

“Do you swear to keep the benefit of the kingdom always in your heart, in your mind and in your body? To stay true to me and me only, as we work to make our kingdom prosper?”

Our kingdom.

Our.

He tries to ignore how your hand is lightly shaking on the crown of his head as he swallows thickly. He knows the reply is as true from his heart as it comes out of his mouth,

“Yes, Your Majesty. I vow to always stand by your side and support you in making your kingdom flourish.”

There’s a moment of silence as you retract your hand from his head and shuffle before him, presumably getting his pin ready. He’s too scared to raise his head, anxious about fulfilling the ritual properly. He can feel the temperature on the top of his head where your hand’s been burning into his skull.

“Sugawara Koushi, you may now rise.” you instruct him and he does so slowly, standing directly before you for the first time and now officially yours. When your eyes lock with his, he swears he sees a sparkle of stars in yours. They shine in a rich and earthly way he can’t seem to find human. In your hands, a golden brooch is resting with an emerald stone enclosed that Sugawara knows is valued much higher than his meager life. No matter how the light touches it, it looks breathtaking. You step forward and he almost takes a step back from the sheer overwhelm of being so close to you. you smile gently at him, reassuring him as you start speaking again, in a volume meant for the court to hear as well.

“I bestow upon you the crown’s pin to establish the physical link between us, with our kingdom as witness. You have sworn yourself to me and to the Karasuno Kingdom and this pin will be the proof of your allegiance and duty.”

As you say your practiced lines, your hands reach for his collar and Sugawara hopes he’s able to keep his blush down when your knuckle brushes his throat. You lock the pin and take a step back, mouthing a silent “well done” and he nods at you with a grateful smile, bowing ever so slightly. Sugawara’s heart skips a beat at the bashful smile you send him before you turn your attention toward the court, cementing your words one final time.

There are more formalities to get through but even if you held a sword to Sugawara’s throat, he would never be able to recite anything else happening, too preoccupied by standing next to and so close to you while the rest of the ceremony commences. He knows Sawamura is supposed to do some kind of honors now, but he can’t focus on it, he only bows when he’s supposed to. There’s something inherently intimate about the way an advisor is sworn in and he’s still reeling from saying those lines directly to you and not just to himself in his looking glass. There’s something about swearing his life away to someone that makes his stomach swirl in pleasant squiggles, the finality of his teachings and educations coming to fruition. He’s glad it’s you.

                                                        ///

 The silence is thick in the late crown’s map room as your fingers gently sweep over the ashen wood desk littered with containers spilling ink, feathers, and unfinished maps. Neither of you are even sure what the purpose of the current map that is splayed out is, but you’re both aware of your father’s penchant for mapping. Sugawara’s unsure of whether it’s appropriate for him to say anything and the happiness he felt emanating off of you during the ceremony is nowhere to be detected in the current gloom that’s sucked you in.

“I always imagined I’d arrive at the throne due to his retirement. That he’d witness my coronation and ease the two of us into our duty.”

Sugawara swallows thickly at your words. You’ve done it several times now, addressing your title and work as ours – as if you saw Sugawara as your equal and not a delicately trained and placed pawn to use as you saw fit. He clears his throat and tries to speak when you continue, “something isn’t right about his passing. My father taught me everything there is to know about sword fighting. I can’t imagine he’d go down due to a simple group of bandits.”

You look up at Sugawara and the pleading in your eyes makes his hands clench behind his back. You’re looking for reassurance, for someone to believe in you. His heart aches at the thought of how many people might’ve dismissed your hypotheses the past week alone. He agrees with you. Everything in the official reports, Sawamura’s detailed accounts and the mere fact that they succeeded in assassinating the crown himself speaks to something more organized. Something far more sinister.

He nods and walks towards the table, towards you, “Your Majesty, I fear your assumption may not be entirely incorrect. An ambush of that level isn’t common in those areas and according to local reports gathered by my predecessor, not heard of neither before or after the attack on His Hig”- Sugawara clears his throat once more –“your father.”

Your eyes fly from the overflowing inks to Sugawara’s at his choice of words and Sugawara’s breath hitches silently at the grateful smile you return him with. He smiles back and mirrors your hand by putting one close to yours on the table, staying neutral as your hand flinches upon his nearing. He rests his hand on the map, feeling the texture of the paper on his skin, “what would you like to do, Your Majesty?”

Your eyes stay locked onto the table, your position frozen for a few moments. Sugawara notices how you’re nibbling at your bottom lip. It’s a cute quirk, he thinks and subconsciously bites on his own until he stops himself with a straightening of his back. You retract your arm from the table and the fabric of your puffy sleeve gently sways with your movements as your hand reaches your own chest. You look up at Sugawara, determined, “I demand a full investigation that I’ll be part of. I will not rest until I know what truly happened to my father.”

Sugawara nods and bows, “as you command, Your Majesty. However, I will advise this to be done in utmost secrecy. Throwing the kingdom into a state of fear is not what is needed publicly of you as of this moment,” he straightens his back and looks squarely at you, “if I may be so bold as to suggest this, I’d recommend that you pick out a group that you trust to do this quietly as you calm down the nation.”

A quiet snicker leaves you and Sugawara tilts his head in confusion at your reaction as you grace him with yet another warm smile, “I expect you to be bold enough to suggest me things, my dear advisor. That is, after all, what you’re here for.” You turn around to look at the map of the kingdom that your father proudly made when you were just 12 hanging on the wall. In the corner of the northern duchy you can still see the ink stain you accidentally made as you observed him making it back then – you’re sure he could’ve removed it or started over since he had just begun with said northern duchy at the time, but he chose to let it stay and it fills your chest with warmth. Behind you, Sugawara blushes at your obvious statement. “But that is most reasonable. However,” you turn back with what Sugawara can only describe as a dignified pout, embarrassed to admit this out loud but with your shoulders squared and head held high, “I’m not at all sure who to entrust such a task to. I know many in our keep but I am unfamiliar with who to trust in the political court.”

Sugawara nods and tries not to embarrass your admission further by not reacting outwardly. He was ultimately expecting this to happen. “If you so trust me, I shall gladly help you gather a small company but while I do gather intelligence about who we can truly trust,” Sugawara braces himself for the next part, “I must ask you to keep up appearances around the public investigation. We must not throw suspicion or we might lose important trails to find the true executioners. I know what I ask is dire and under normal circumstances I would never think to expect anyone to follow such an outrageous request but alas,” he looks at you and trails off, seeing your steeled expression. There is no doubt in his mind that this pains you, but he can feel your resolve for the greater good of your kingdom – the kingdom your father loved as well.

   The next few days pass by Sugawara in a blur. He trails around next to you and instructs you in political influence, watches you mourn in silence, tests your knowledge and as you’re eating lunch in the former crown’s map room that you’ve ordered not to be remodeled or repurposed, talks about the investigation you’ve brought on.

Sugawara knew that he’d become physically close with you once he’d be sworn in, but he hadn’t expected that he’d be sharing so many meals with the crown of his country. It was awkward at first. There was luckily plenty of practical subjects to go through, so the silences never lasted too long and smiles seems to come easily when Sugawara cracked a joke or two. Your knowledge of the southern duchies and of the bordering countries surpassed what he expected, but you were lacking in regard to in-country laws and especially the western duchies’ customs were you unfamiliar with. He's continually amazed by your ability to remain unfazed when it comes to the public investigation of your father’s passing. No crack in your mask reveals that you’re in doubt of the public acknowledgement. Sugawara knows differently though, as his heart aches in his chest. He knows of the fire burning steadily, consuming your sleep and appetite. He tries not to say too much, knows Azumane is next to you when he is not.

Preparations for your coronation also took up a great deal of your time but Sugawara never hears any complaining as he drills knowledge and political pawns into your beautiful head. The talk and flow of the Karasu Keep has become lively and light, excitement buzzing in the air as the coronation draws closer. All the dukes and their families have gathered and many travelers from across the kingdom will be arriving as well over the next coming days. The attitude towards the new crown is generally positive, which greatly relaxed Sugawara.

 “I’d keep an eye on the Hiashi duke. He and his coterie seem to celebrate a great deal differently than anyone else.”

It’s whispered to Sugawara while a mug of ale is being placed in front of him. It’s Shimizu, the matron who runs both the servant and guard kitchens. She’s soft-spoken and never indulges much of anything, but Sugawara knows her to gather intelligence from the people of the keep like nobody else. She was one of the first people he entrusted his secret task to and it seems to have paid off already within the first week. He doesn’t outwardly react to her sentence but simply takes a sip from the mug placed before him. You’ve given Sugawara the afternoon and evening off, much to his chagrin, as you’re being fitted in your coronation outfit before there’s a dinner with the dukes of the kingdom, so he’s set to investigating further.

 He walks down the hallways of the upper quarters as he plans to excavate information on the duchy of Hiashi, which is one of the northern duchies, near the border. He’s heard of squabbles with the area, of his mentor mentioning agriculture issues. The northern duchies as a whole supply most of the farming for the kingdom and the drought six years ago has yet to heal them completely, try as the former crown might’ve. It’s also only a stone’s throw away from the attack on the crown, which makes Sugawara’s brows furrow as he’s leaned over some documents. It wouldn’t be a stretch to make that connection. He’s pulled out of his thoughts with a knock upon the door and is surprised to see his mentor there.

He looks disheveled. There’s no other word that can describe what Sugawara sees before him, except a broken man.

He’s seen a lot of them lately.

Wordlessly, he takes a seat on the opposite side of the desk and lets out a gruff laugh, “he used to love staying in here, holed up with his maps.”

Sugawara opts to sit down as well, figuring he needs to say something. he sighs and sinks further down into the chair, bony fingers gripping the armrest. “It suits you,” he mutters and sends a look towards the pin next to Sugawara’s cravat that he feels too stuffy in but is unfortunately comes with the uniform. Sugawara’s hands instinctively travel to it, feeling grounded by its presence. The silence stretches out for some time, Sugawara unsure on how to breach it – if he even should.

“I should’ve gone with him.”

The confession hits like a brick to his face. The grieve of his mentor is one thing, but to know he feels guilty? It pricks at Sugawara’s heart like knives. He stayed because Sugawara felt ill, if anything, it’s Sugawara’s guilt to bear.

Before he can articulate any of that, an arm is raised dismissively, “it has nothing to do with you. Rationally, of course,”- he gives Sugawara a knowing look-“it wouldn’t have made a difference. It was just a routine visit, I wasn’t needed there. I was needed with you, here.”

“I’ve had fevers before.” Sugawara tries, sucking in his upper lip. His mentor croaks a laugh and shakes his head, “yes but none as bad.”

“You say that every time I’ve ever had a fever.”

He shakes his head and gets up from the chair, rolling his shoulders, “ah. Talking to you have lightened my mood. See, sometimes I need you like you used to need me.” He winks at him and Sugawara pouts, “that’s not fair.”

A solemn smile crosses his face as his eyes stay on the map in front of Sugawara, “I know. I just came here to remind you that it had nothing to do with you and wasn’t your fault. I can see the guilt you try to expertly hide when you stand next to the crown. It’s heavy on your shoulders, isn’t it?”

Bull’s eye.

Sugawara’s breath hitches as he tries to conceal a sob. His mentor puts his arms behind his back and looks at the walls, lined with maps and art made by the former crown, his former friend. “And so it is so. So many souls carry the burden of this death. Heavy are the crow’s wings, my son.”

  As Sugawara’s left alone in a room drowning in the touch of their former crown, he finds himself making a fist to control anything that might slip through his own walls.

His father-figure is still here. He’s not the one losing a family member - you are. He will have to pull it together.

 “What are you doing?”

His fist untightens as he gasps in what he hopes is a low enough volume when he hears your voice from the other side of the desk. He hadn’t even heard you come in.

“Uh,” he fumbles around a bit, pretending to look for a specific map. “Uhm, one second,” he tries as he searches his brain for a way to sniffle without making a sound.

He hears you giggle and freezes on the spot, your laugh putting out the fire in his nerves. “It’s okay, Sugawara, you can take it easy with me.”

He inhales slowly, “right. I apologize, your majesty.” And finally looks up at you and smiles. You walk around the desk to stand next to him, “what are you looking for?” you ask, your hand tracing the top document, one being a map of the agricultural areas of grain from the Hiashi duchy. He shakes his head to gather his thoughts again as he points, “I got a tip to look into the Hiashi. There was a drought six years ago that devastated most of their crops.”

You raise your eyebrows, “you think it’s got something to do with my father’s passing?”

Sugawara’s unsure whether or not he should confirm that suspicion to you. After all, you’ve got a dinner with said duke in just a few moments. Out of the corner of his eyes, Sugawara can see you’re well-dressed and ready for the small banquiet. “Your majesty, maybe we shall discuss this after the dinner has been completed.”

You turn your head to him in confusion, staring daggers into his skull. He can feel them and he’s almost afraid to face you, fearing he might’ve overstepped. “Sugawara,” you say to catch his attention and he looks up from the parchments in front of him in equal parts confusion and fear, “yes your majesty?”

You put a hand on his shoulders, “the dinner has ended. I came here to find you before retiring for the night. You weren’t in your study.”

Huh?

Sugawara’s eyes must’ve popped out of the sockets with the way you retreat, a hand to your mouth. “Good Gracious, have you not gotten any of the rest I ordered you to?”

He blinks owlishly at you, his mouth in a tight line, “pardon, your majesty?”

You groan dramatically and to Sugawara’s surprise, flicker your pointer finger at his forehead, “I gave you the night off so that you could rest! You’ve been looking more and more exhausted and I understand that acclimating to your new job title requires adequate rest and care!”

Huh?

He sits down with his palms pressing his forehead, where you hit him – without holding back. You look at him with your eyes furrowed, “it’s part of your job to follow the crown’s orders.”

Sugawara laughs then. He laughs loudly and unabashed as his hands travel from his forehead to his cravat to loosen it up. He laughs with his mouth open wide and eyes closed. You wonder if he’s lost it before you grab the stool in the corner to sit next to him.

“I apologize deeply, your majesty. Since you’re technically still Crown-in-Waiting, I assumed the order wouldn’t apply until after the ceremony.”

You huff out a disgruntled laugh at his joke before you sigh out, “I shall be more clear next time. Well then, show me what you spent the last few hours on, if you won’t mind following an order from a simple Crown-in-Waiting.”

The mirth in your eyes makes Sugawara laugh again and lean over the table with you, pointing at the different farms and explain how the drought hit and the other specifics. He’s so caught up in his lecture that he hardly registers the way you yawn halfway in or the way you slowly but steadily sway towards him.

The weight of your head collides with his shoulder and Sugawara tenses up like a pulled spring. Slowly he turns his head to find you soundly asleep, the quill you’ve been writing notes within your hand now displaced and rolling over the map, spreading ink in its wake. He clears his throat after a moment too long before he dares speak but before any words can leave his mouth, he sighs and tries to relax his posture to make it more comfortable for you. You’re right, acclimating to a new job title requires care and proper rest. He takes a moment to be selfish like he never is and slowly, silently breathes in your scent, moving his head slightly to admire the way your mouth moves in tandem with your slow breathing. He feels like he has to physically restrain himself from caressing your soft cheek and it proves harder than he thought until he gathers his courage to address you and try to gentle stir you awake, “your majesty?”

A mixture of childish whines and grumbles leave you as you cuddle closer to him, your arm encircling his and he swears he feels his soul leave his body at your behavior. He steels his resolve for a moment with a few breaths before he decides. “Can’t be helped then,” he sighs and gently pats the top of your head, deciding that if his own royal highness, the soon to be crown sees his shoulder as an adequate resting place, he is not one to make disputes. You deserve as much rest as anyone else and if he can provide even an ounce of comfort to his beloved crown, he’ll sacrifice whatever it’ll take.

 Here are the bonus additions my cat has made on this document as I’ve been writing it (he’s also deleted three paragraphs that I luckily regained):

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[mistydeyes]

May I request a pairing with one of the cod guys? If you are not accepting anymore requests for pairings then you can ignore this. I am an INTP, identify as agender and use he/they pronouns. I’m quite the dichotomy because I’m asexual, but I do crave other forms of non-sexual intimacy but I also don’t like physical touch unless it’s from someone I’m really close to and I’m very shy and easy to fluster. I’m also Autistic and have a chronic pain condition called fibromyalgia. I really bad at gaming but I really like researching the story behind video games, i also like math, science, jigsaw puzzles, tattoos, and piercings. I hope you have a wonder day!!

KÖNIG (a/n when you guys submit requests, I write what character I think you would be paired with and then let it sit in my drafts but immediately when I read ur request my brain was like 'KÖNIG')

How you met: Civilian (childhood love!) As you took your usual seat at the back of the class, the teacher announced a new transfer student. You tuned her out as you sat reading your latest book. Elementary school was just part of the routine, you went in every morning, took notes during class, and finished your homework during lunch. You didn't care for the gossip surrounding your classmates and blended into the background mostly. However, your routine would soon change as the teacher introduced a boy, who you assumed was your age, to the class. "König, you can sit back there," your teacher said and she pointed to the empty seat next to you. The boy shyly walked over and you gave him a small smile. You knew the experience of being the new kid in school and were always the shy, quiet type. He gave you a half smile back and you both took out your notebooks for the day's lesson.

Eventually it reached lunchtime, many kids rushed over to sit with their friends and you found a table by yourself. You liked the long grey table as it allowed you to eat your lunch and do your work without being bothered by anyone else. As you opened your maths book, you could see the boy from earlier nervously looking around for a place to sit. You weren't sure what this newfound confidence was but suddenly you could hear yourself beckoning him over to sit with you. Instead of a half smile, he showed a genuine one and made his over to your table.

A peek into your relationship: "Sonnenschein, have you taken this quiz?" your boyfriend, König, asked as you were lounging on the couch together Ever since the first time you met, you became quick friends and eventually entered a serious relationship before he entered the military. Now, he was visiting you at your apartment and sending you a link to a quiz. You read the title and laughed as it was one that told you the five love languages. "I haven't yet but I'll let you know my results," you said and you scooted closer to him so that he could see your answers. As you went through the quiz, you dismissed the options that prioritized physical intimacy. Your boyfriend had been understanding of your preferences and loved you in different ways rather than physical touch. Throughout the whole quiz, he attentively examined your answers and appeared to be taking mental note of the responses. Eventually, you received a calculated result with words of affirmation and quality time being the highest on the list. "Interesting," you could hear König muse as you handed him the phone to read the descriptions. "I'm not surprised," you joked as you went back to your comfortable position. "Noted," he began to say, "I will focus on these more for you, mein ein und alles." You smiled as you felt your heart flutter and your cheeks gain a rosy hue. He understood you for who you were and you were grateful that you sat with him at lunch.

[angstyaches]

For a fluff request, maybe something soft where Charlie can indulge in his kink? Idk that just sounds kinda sweet.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for requesting this. There are several aspects to Charlie’s kink, so I hope you’re interested in what I decided to focus on for this!

This will be my last story of 2022, so the fact that it's disgustingly self-indulgent and niche is kind of perfect, really.

CW: kink exploration, lots of consent checking, straddling, body kissing, touch/affection starvation.

Not “typical” NS*W content, but y’know. We’re not quite typical around here, are we? So, minors, I'm especially pleading with you not to interact with this one.

Note: Shayne and Charlie take their physical relationship very slowly, and I didn’t intend for this to be “leading anywhere” other than kissing, but if you want to have different thoughts about it, I guess I can’t stop you lol 

___ 

“Hi.” Charlie didn’t lift his head or look away from his laptop. He seemed to be in the middle of typing a breakthrough sentence. The fact that he called out at all made Shayne wince, though.  

Shayne let out a little groan as he stretched across the bed. He was good at sneaking, but Charlie had gotten better at sensing when he was nearby, even with his back turned and his attention focused on something else.  

“I didn’t come in here to distract you,” Shayne muttered. He lay diagonally across the bed on his back, hooking both his arms behind his head. “I swear.”  

“Aw. Did you get lonely?”  

Shayne winced as he stared at the ceiling. He didn’t have it in him to be defensive, or sarcastic, or tough. “Mmm.”  

Charlie got up from the chair and came over to the edge of the bed. At first, Shayne thought he was going to just stand there and look down at him, maybe run his fingers through Shayne’s hair a bit, but instead, Charlie draped himself across the mattress, too. He matched the jagged angle at which Shayne had flopped down, but instead of his back, Charlie lay on his belly.  

Shayne felt like he should protest; he should apologise for distracting his boyfriend from his studies. Sorry, love. I’ll go back downstairs and leave you to it. But it was like his jaw had locked up, because he couldn’t bring himself to say anything of the sort.  

Charlie’s bright blue eyes still seemed a little unfocused as he examined Shayne’s face, as though he’d been concentrating on his studies for so long that he’d forgotten how to observe anything else.  

“Sorry I’ve been so busy,” he said gently.  

“Nah, it’s… not your fault.”  

Shayne had been about to say it was okay, but he knew that this didn’t feel okay to either of them. Charlie spent all week at college, and every second weekend at his parents’; that left four days out of each month that they could properly spend together, and while Charlie’s coursework was important, it stung a bit when it ate into their time.   

And on top of that, Charlie must have been starting to feel the toll of never settling in one place for longer than a couple of days at a time. The thought of Charlie overworking himself sent a shudder all the way into Shayne’s core.  

“I know it’s not,” Charlie smiled, “but I’d much rather be spending my free time with you.”  

Shayne tilted his head slightly, his eyes wandering back towards the desk where Charlie had set up his laptop and library books. He could at least try to keep Charlie’s mind focused on his task while they were laying there together. He seemed to have a web page full of text occupying one half of the screen, and a Word documents of bullet points open on the other.  

“What are you working on?” he asked, looking at Charlie again.  

“Mid-term essay.”  

Shayne raised an eyebrow at the lazy answer. “On?”  

“Um, it’s for my early childhood studies class. I’m still wading through the reading and deciding what I’m going to write about.”  

Shayne couldn’t help but make a face similar to the one Charlie made when he ate spinach. “The reading any good?”  

“You know what? Yeah,” Charlie half-laughed. “I hated studying in secondary school, but everything they give me to do in my course is interesting. Is this – am I a dork now?”  

Shayne wanted to tell Charlie that he’d always been a dork, from the very first day they’d met, but he didn’t have it in him.  

Shit. He must have been even more down than he’d realised, if teasing Charlie had lost its appeal.  

But on the other hand, he also didn’t want to risk tainting the glistening enthusiasm that reawakened in Charlie’s eyes as he talked about childcare. There was something extremely endearing about seeing him get so passionate about something, even if it was an academic paper that would have put Shayne to sleep within the first few lines. It made Shayne want to break out into a grin as though he was the one fixating on something he thought was interesting.  

He shifted his head, turning it more towards Charlie. “What – what do you like about it?”  

Charlie wrinkled up his nose. “Mmm. I don’t want to bore you.”  

“You mean you don’t think I’ll get it.” 

“No, of course not, I –” Charlie huffed and shook his head. “Alright, well… I don’t know if this just appeals to me because of how strict my teachers were in playschool, but I’m so obsessed with the idea of self-directed learning…”  

Shayne closed his eyes. The sound of Charlie’s excitement wasn’t just like music to his ears, but more like the best song that had ever been composed. It made him wish there was a blanket woven from Charlie’s thoughts and emotions, which Shayne could just bury himself in and never emerge from.  

A repetitive sinking sensation started to tug at his skull, and his chest.  

“… in their cognitive development,” Charlie said. “You know, I’ve never actually asked; did your parents send you to a – hey.”  

Shayne felt Charlie trace the back of his finger against his cheek. He shivered at the gentle contact, but he didn’t open his eyes.  

“What?” he mumbled.  

“See, you’re bored. I’m putting you to sleep.”  

“Mmm. No. No, you’re not. Something about… tectonic development.”  

Charlie scoffed. “Don’t just say big words you know. I said cognitive development.”  

“I know, I know,” Shayne half-opened his eyes, trying to shake off the sleepiness. Charlie had shifted in closer, and was lying with his face just inches away. “You said you’ll probably do your midterm essay on Montessori education because you like the independence it gives children.”  

Charlie raised an eyebrow.  

“See? I can listen.”  

“Why are you so sleepy, then, huh?” Charlie smiled and lazily slid a hand over Shayne’s waist. “What’s going on here? I thought the college student was supposed to be the tired one.”  

“Fuck. I know. Sorry,” Shayne said.  

If he was being completely honest with Charlie, he would have told him exactly how tired he was. He would have told him how hard it was for him to get to sleep when he was in the Mulberry house all by himself, wondering how many demons lurked in the forest, or how far Madelyn would go to get him back. He would have told him about the nightmares, the constant feeling of impending doom, the cold.  

But their limited time together also meant that Shayne was reluctant to be completely honest, especially when complete honesty could make Charlie doubt whether him being in college was a good idea, and reopen that whole conversation.  

And the thought of upending Charlie’s life made Shayne feel like someone was standing on his chest while wearing his own Doc Marten boots.  

When he snapped himself out of his thoughts, he realised that Charlie was still staring at him, cheek perched against his fist, hand still resting on Shayne’s side. The biggest, silliest grin was plastered across his face. Shayne could see the faint veins of turquoise that splayed out from the centres of his navy-blue eyes.   

His bangs had been allowed to grow a little longer, so that they curled down towards his eyebrows.   

Every time he blinked, his eyes seemed to glisten a little more brightly, as though they knew a secret, and for every second that Shayne didn’t share in that secret, the more delicious it became.  

Shayne blinked rapidly, hoping it wasn’t too obvious that his insides felt like they were melting.  

“Don’t you have to study?”  

“I do.” Charlie let out a wistful little sigh. He looked like the princess in the tower from one of the movies he’d made Shayne watch a few weeks ago.

Twisted? Tumbled?

“But you’re so beautiful," Charlie gushed, devouring the length of Shayne's body with just his eyes, "all stretched out like that.” 

A part of Shayne’s brain – most of it, really – wanted to pull his arms back from behind his head, folding them around his torso, and curl up on his side just out of spite. He managed to resist the urge, but something in him felt like it’d started to unravel. 

“Fuck college," Charlie whispered. Somehow, he made a profanity sound like the most romantic word in existence. "I’d rather just lie here like this... forever.”  

Shayne half-heartedly rolled his eyes at that, though he had to admit he was relieved to know that Charlie was just teasing him. Joking. Being an idiot; a cute one, but an idiot nonetheless.  

Ugh. He was looking him right in the eyes again, gazing at him... though he wasn’t smiling anymore. What was left on Charlie’s face was far more intense, and although Shayne couldn’t read his expression, he still seemed to feel what it meant.  

And what it felt like was a sudden swell of nerves, tingling in his stomach.  

When he blinked again, he could feel his eyes starting to water. His lips trembled, and his voice sounded faint as he said, “Stop.”  

Blonde eyebrows twitched as Charlie’s gaze faltered just slightly. “Stop what, lovely?”  

“Looking at me like that.”  

“Like what?” Charlie’s voice was so soft, so innocent, so full of gentle concern. Shayne knew his complaining had set him on edge slightly, but it somehow didn’t seem to break the spell Charlie’s eyes were casting. 

Like... like that, was all he could come up with.  

The inability to put the feeling into words pushed Shayne over the edge, from tentatively comfortable to mildly agonised.   

His insides had been fluttering gently throughout the touching and the gazing, but now it felt like the first pangs of a swirling ache.  

And it felt like it might dissolve him, from the pit of his stomach outwards.  

“Are you okay?" Charlie's tone shifted a little again. "What’s wrong?”  

“Mmm. Just…”  

Charlie untucked his hand from under his own cheek. “Yeah?”  

Shayne winced and lowered his gaze towards the zip of Charlie’s hoodie. Anything was better than continuing to view his gorgeous blue eyes, which only seemed to plunge his insides into even more indescribable agitation. 

“You’re making my stomach feel weird.”  

He felt Charlie’s hand move, fingertips brushing against the end of Shayne’s t-shirt. He barely touched the skin beneath the fabric, but the sensation sent warm shivers through Shayne’s muscles.  

“You’ve got butterflies?”  

“I guess that’s what you would call it,” Shayne mumbled.  

Charlie pushed himself up a little higher, dragging himself closer to Shayne with his elbows plodding along the mattress. Shayne still couldn’t meet his gaze, which was fine, actually, because it turned out that looking at his mouth was very appealing right now.  

Fingers tightening slightly at Shayne's waist, Charlie leaned down until their lips softly brushed together. Shayne shut his eyes and felt his head twitch instinctively closer to Charlie's face, deepening the contact without parting either of their lips. The hand on his side had been kind of cold at first, but now it radiated warmth through the fluttering mess in his belly. 

Charlie came away from the kiss with his eyes half-lidded and a shy smile pulling at his mouth.  

And then he sat up, legs still tucked to one side. He placed one hand on the bed to keep his torso up, and the other still rested gently on Shayne’s waist. His thumb rubbed tiny circles inside the side of his stomach, ruffling the fabric of his t-shirt.  

Yep, Shayne thought, finally meeting his boyfriend's gaze as he straddled his legs, it's going to dissolve me from the inside out.

___

Charlie knew he was grinning more than any dignified individual should, but he couldn’t help it. He raised his eyebrows when Shayne kept giving him that same, skeptical glare. 

After a second of hesitation, Shayne's expression softened.

Charlie gently crawled across him, pausing at intervals and looking at Shayne’s face. If he changed his mind, Charlie wanted to know as quickly as possible. He didn’t want to wait to be told, because Shayne didn’t always manage to get the words out.  

He settled with his knees at either side of Shayne’s legs.  

“Show me,” Charlie breathed. His cheeks warmed and his chest was gripped with a throbbing, all-consuming ache as Shayne’s eyelashes fluttered in confusion. “Show me where you’re feeling these butterflies.” 

He watched Shayne’s hand trace lightly across the slight hollow that formed beneath his ribs when he lay on his back. He made a low sound in the back of his throat, drawing a little line back and forth across his tummy before whispering, “Here.” 

Charlie wondered if, perhaps, he was about to black out and die.  

He swallowed, following Shayne’s hand with his fingertips. “Here?” 

“Mmm.” Shayne’s hand slipped away, and seemed about to tuck it beneath his head again, just like the other one, but stopped himself. He rested it on his chest instead. But even leaving himself vulnerable without both hands to protect himself was enough for Charlie to know he trusted him. 

With his heart pounding in his ears, Charlie slid his hands up either side of Shayne’s torso, until his thumbs were adjacent the point where Shayne had guided him to. He looked at Shayne’s face one last time; his eyes were calm and, to anybody else, unreadable, but Charlie knew there was a difference between Shayne’s neutral looks and his blank looks. Blank meant he was dissociating, or about to be.  

Neutral meant that he was okay.  

Still, Charlie met his dark gaze and raised an eyebrow; the response was a soft exhale, almost like a chuckle. Is this still okay? – Yes, it’s fine, idiot. 

Charlie drew his hands downward again, hooking his thumbs under the end of Shayne’s t-shirt. He slid his hands slowly back up Shayne’s waist, taking the fabric with them. Shayne drew a sharp breath as skin met skin, and his own hand vanished from his torso altogether, lifting to rest on the pillow next to his head. 

Breaking the eye contact was difficult at first, given how intimately Charlie found himself able to read Shayne’s tiny motions and expressions.  

But then Charlie looked down, and it suddenly wasn’t so difficult anymore. 

He lifted Shayne’s t-shirt halfway up, stopping while his ribcage was still covered with the soft fabric.  

Fuck. 

No matter how many times he saw it, it always felt like it was the first time he was getting to look at the smooth surface of Shayne’s stomach. 

The first thing Charlie did was draw his forehead across the soft skin, his bangs drifting along the contours of his lower ribs. He raised his head as he felt Shayne's abdominal muscles shiver, and bit his lip at the sound of a faint, strangled laugh.  

"Sorry," he whispered as softly as he could. Watch the hair. Got it. 

When he planted the first kiss, Shayne gasped again, but it was a deeper sound this time. His ribs rose harshly, but then fell with a little more control.

Charlie sighed in elation at the thought of fluttery, tingly feelings simmering just below the surface of his boyfriend's belly, all because of him.  He wasn't sure which he liked more; the idea that his kisses were calming the butterflies down and making the fluttering feeling ease up, or the idea that his kisses were making them go even crazier.

The prospect of either made him feel like his head was going to explode. 

Charlie leaned in harder for the next kiss, which blended seamlessly into the next one, and the next one, until it could hardly be called kissing anymore. 

He squeezed Shayne's waist and felt a hand idly brushing through his hair. 

Charlie was barely managing to resist letting his teeth get involved as his lips pressed and pulled at the smooth skin, drawing barely-audible whimpers out of his boyfriend. His breathing was getting a little shaky, Charlie noticed, by the way his chest and belly only rose and fell slightly, and shuddered as they did.  

Shayne took his hand back from Charlie's hair, and although Charlie didn't look up, he could tell that he was reaching above his head to stretch slightly. The muscles and skin of his stomach tightened under Charlie's lips, holding the tension for a couple of seconds before melting into softness again. 

Fu-uck. Whether these reactions were genuine, or a performance for Charlie's sake, he couldn't believe this was happening. 

He lightly traced his lips downwards, leaving no inch of skin unkissed as he made a line towards Shayne’s belly button. His own breath was growing unsteady as he forgot to come up for air. His thumbs were still positioned at either side of Shayne’s stomach, the rest of his fingers tucked around his waist, and in a moment of flushed passion, he squeezed and pulled him upwards, as though he couldn’t get his face close enough.  

Shayne leaned into the pull, back arched just slightly in response to Charlie’s hands.  

Charlie wanted to bury his face deep in Shayne's stomach and scream until his lungs were empty.  

I love him. 

I love him. 

Shayne lowered his back again, and it felt like he easing his weight back into Charlie’s hands. Charlie wished – with an intensity so strong that he found himself gnashing his back teeth together – that he had hands big enough that could wrap all the way around him. Or that he was tiny enough that he could curl up on Shayne's tummy like it was a bed. 

He sank his forehead down onto Shayne's stomach as though in defeat. He made sure not to drag his hair across Shayne's ribs this time. 

“You’re... you're so beautiful," he murmured.

Shayne sighed sharply, ribs tightening. Charlie ran his hands up to rest on his chest, which was still covered with his t-shirt, just to show that he wasn’t just saying nice things because Shayne was letting him have his way.

One of Shayne's hands reached down to play with Charlie's hair again, fingers drawing slow figure-8s between the back of his skull and the nape of his neck.

Charlie turned his head and nuzzled his cheek against Shayne's belly, reveling in its warmth and its springy softness and its existence. He'd lie here for a few moments, until he inevitably felt the need to smother it in kisses again.

It deserved a little break to recover from his nonsense, as did poor Shayne.

God, Charlie felt giddy and delirious. Like he was drunk. At least three beers in.

"You’re just… so fucking lovely," he blurted.

He felt Shayne's fingers twist a little harder into his hair, and the next time he felt his stomach muscles twitch under his cheek, Charlie was almost certain that it was from a very light sob.

"Charlie," Shayne said, before Charlie had even had a chance to react.

Charlie lifted his head swiftly, his mind clearing in an instant. His muscles were preparing to launch himself off the bed and give Shayne the space he needed. His tongue was prepped to apologise and assure his boyfriend that no matter what he was uncomfortable with, his feelings were completely valid.

But Shayne's eyes, despite the tears glistening in them, were pleading with him in a different way than Charlie had expected.

"Will you kiss my stomach again?"