#with all honesty and a heart full love: i would take it our of the setlist and replace it with another song

[general-fanfiction]

Hopes And Fears Part Three. (Wally Clark x Reader)

Summary: Y/N’s death is traumatic. So traumatic in fact, she can’t even look at Wally without reliving what happened to her.

Word Count: 2.4k

Gif Not Mine. Requests Are Open!

Warnings: Mature Language

I’ve grown fond of the early mornings whilst stuck at Split River. The first glimpse of the sun shining over the gardens, a warm hue welcoming the day. With no students roaming the halls, all I hear is the quiet sounds of nature. On the odd occasion, I’m even able to spot a rabbit or deer, grazing gently on the acres of freshly trimmed fields surrounding the school buildings.

It’s become a habit of mine, each morning I find myself lounging besides the flowerbeds. Allowing myself to feel each blade of grass that delicately brushes my skin. For a while, I forget that I’m no longer alive. I can simply exist.

It’s not uncommon for Wally to join me. Sprawled on his back, gazing up at the clouds. Pointing out different shapes and imagining different backstories for all of the cloud animals he sees. Besides that, neither of us speak much. Only enjoying one another’s company as we relax in the morning light.

Spending this time has given me the opportunity to process everything. Wally helps me to work through my emotions and thoughts. Nothing ever being too much for him to listen to, though I’m still afraid to divulge everything. I’m sure he can sense that I’m holding back, yet he doesn’t pry. Content to just listen. In all honestly, I truly believe that these moments with Wally have helped me more so than Mr Martin’s support group has. Despite attending every session since my memorial, I consistently leave the group feeling unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. In fact, it doesn’t seem as though the teacher wants us to discuss the past, our lives and our deaths. Only wanting us to focus on the present, the state we are confined to. I find myself struggling with this a lot.

“What do you think you would be doing if you hadn’t died?”

Pushing myself up on my elbows, I look over to Wally, who is resting on his stomach, absentmindedly plucking grass from the ground.

“I was supposed to go to college, play football. Hopefully make it pro, that’s what the plan was anyway.” He tells me, full of confidence yet his tone of voice suggests that’s not the pathway he would’ve chosen for himself.

“What about like outside of a job though?” I pry, the boy has my curiosity heightened. “Like, surely you have other things that you wanted to do?”

His eyes focus in on the pieces of grass that he’s now twisting together in a makeshift sort of chain. Deep in thought, I can see the cogs working in his brain as he tries to think of an answer for me. I’m sure it’s not something he’s necessarily thought of before, following the path that his mom set out for him upon birth.

“You’re gonna laugh, but I always wanted to get married and have a family. I know that times have changed and you lot don’t really believe in marriage and stuff that much anymore but I’m a family guy. Always have been.” He admits, finally looking at me and I see the honesty written across his face. “It just sucks that I’ll never actually get to experience it.”

My heart aches for him. One fatal accident and his entire future was stripped away. Never getting to experience the things he always dreamed of. It breaks heart, knowing what he could have had.

“Wally, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s no big deal, really, I’ve spent the last few decades accepting my fate and it’s not so bad here.” He tells me, a sadness shining in the brown of his eyes, trying his best to cover it up with a soft smile. “What about you? Other than taking over the world with your best friend, what was the plan?”

Giggling slightly as he references Abby’s speech, I start to wonder what my life would’ve looked like. Truthfully, I have no idea. My life revolved around dancing and cheer, other than that I have no clue as to who I am. Up until my death, I didn’t believe I was worthy of love, the one chance I took was with Spencer and look how that turned out.

“I suppose I wanted to leave Split River, Abby wanted to go to New York so I figured I would study there.” I reply, knowing New York was never my dream. I just couldn’t bare to part with her once high school ended. “It would be quite nice to live on a farm. Out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by animals, I think that would’ve been my dream.”

“Now this makes sense.”

Crossing my legs underneath me to sit up properly, he’s unable to hide the bright smile on his face. Clearly finding some amusement in what I said.

“What makes sense?” I ask, to which he laughs quietly. Pulling a clump of grass out of the ground, I launch it in his direction. “Hey, you dickhead, I didn’t laugh at you, so you can’t laugh at me.”

“No, no. I’m not laughing at you.” Wally speaks through chuckles, rolling on to his back. “It just makes sense now why you like to sit out here.”

His arms are thrown across his face, shielding his eyes from the sun. I can’t help but stare as his muscles flex, admiring the sight in front of me. Following his body, I find myself biting the inside of my cheek as I notice his top has risen up his stomach ever so slightly. Highlighting the small trail of hair that dips below his shorts.

“Did you have a girlfriend?” I blurt out, before I even realise what I’m saying.

Slapping my hand across my mouth, embarrassment floods my body, eyes wide as Wally smiles. Eyebrows raised as he looks over to me. Sly smile making its way on to his face.

“No. No girlfriend. Why?”

“I was just wondering. I mean, star high school quarterback, you must have had girls queuing up for your attention.” I’m able to stop myself before I begin a long-winded rant. Helping to ease at least a tiny amount of my embarrassment.

Wally rolls his eyes at my comment. “Well in that case you must’ve had boys queuing up for your attention. What with being head cheerleader and all.”

“Ha ha. Okay, I know it was a stupid question.”

Fortunately for me, I’m saved from making a fool out of myself even more by the sounds of cars entering the parking lot. In unison, we both turn to face the sound. Observing the students that have started to filter into the building, chatting loudly amongst one another as they do so.

My vision locks in on Spencer and his gang of hooligans. They’re jumping all over one another without a care in the world as they make their way into the school. Trail of awestruck girls following behind in the hopes of garnering the smallest amount of attention from one of the jocks.

If only I was able to tell them what they’re really like. Perhaps they wouldn’t make the same mistake that I made. Perhaps I’d be able to save them from the same fate that I suffered.

“So I was thinking we could have a pool day. I think Charlie would be up for it, maybe not Rhonda, but it could be fun for us all just to chill out. You haven’t really spent much time with anyone else apart from in our sessions with Mr Martin.”

Wally’s words echo around my head though I’m not paying any attention. Despite, no longer being able to see the group that I was fixated on, I’m still closely watching the area that they had just previously been walking through.

Two weeks later and Spencer and his friends still evade justice. Police presence at the school has increased drastically with crime scene investigators cornering off the old toilet block. Maybe I’m impatient, but it feels like they’re getting away with it. Receiving no consequences for their heinous actions.

“Y/N, are you listening?”

Wally’s words finally drag me out of my thoughts and I meet his eyes. “Yeah, pool day, sounds good.”

“And we’re inviting Charlie and Rhonda.” He states, eyebrows raised as he knows I wasn’t truly paying attention to a word he said.

“Oh, no. They’re nice but can we just do it alone? I’m not sure I feel up to doing a whole group thing.”

Wally nods, though his eyes narrow. Sensing there’s something off with me. He’s good at noticing whenever my demeanour changes, or whenever something is bothering me. It’s part of his nature.

“Yeah of course. We should probably head to group first though.” The athlete pushes himself off the floor as he speaks, waiting for me to stand as well which I reluctantly do, not before releasing an annoyed groan. “You know, one of these days, you might actually enjoy the sessions.”

Rolling my eyes, I follow Wally towards the gym. He holds the doors open for me as we enter the building, his small act of chivalry makes me giddy. I make no effort to show this however, politely thanking the boy as I walk through.

“Ah here they are! Took you two long enough.” Charlie jokes as we enter the gym, taking our seats. I sit between Dawn and Rhonda with Wally seating himself between Charlie and Mr Martin.

“No guesses what they’ve been up to.” Rhonda comments, lollipop hanging out the side of her mouth as she does so.

“Thank you Rhonda.” Mr Martin chimes in, stopping the conversation from escalating any further. “So today, I figured we would get to know our newest member. Y/N you’ve been here for a couple of weeks now and we still don’t know too much about you.”

“I’m sure Wally could tell us all about her.” Rhonda remarks under her breath. So quiet, I almost don’t catch it.

“I’m sorry, is there something you want to say?” I snap, my tone harsh and confronting.

She laughs in response, the annoyance on my face evident as I glare at her. Her snarky and sarcastic nature hasn’t proven to be a problem for me, though I think that may be about to change.

“Y/N, tell us about your death. We’re all dying to know what happened. No pun intended.” The teacher interjects, attempting to diffuse the tense situation yet I still feel on edge.

“No thank you.”

“Oh come on Y/N, none of us are going to judge you. You know that.” Charlie tells me, offering me a reassuring smile.

“No, she’d rather just listen to all our trauma. Isn’t that right cherry pop?”

Rhonda’s words strike a chord within me. I’ll admit, the other ghosts have been very open about their deaths with me. All discussing in detail what happened to them to result in this fate. Sure, I haven’t divulged into the details of my death as of yet, but it’s for good reason. Not only am I still trying to process it myself but I don’t want them to look at me any differently nor do I want them to take pity on me when they learn the details.

“Do you have a problem with me or something Rhonda?” I ask, swinging around in my chair so that I can face her directly.

Upon doing so, I take note of how Charlie and Wally are quick to sit up straight. Feeling the anger radiating off me and awaiting any possible confrontation that may be about to occur.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” The girl retorts, crossing her arms over her chest before she continues speaking. “You waltz in here and make no effort with any of us besides Wally. Who, let’s not forget, you made to feel like a piece of shit on your first day after that unreasonable outburst. You listen to all of us recounting our deaths, the most traumatic things that could’ve happened to us and still none of us know what happened to you. It hardly seems fair.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry Rhonda. I’m sorry that i’m still processing what happened to me. I’m sorry that I’m not ready to discuss it with a group of strangers. I am so sorry that I’m not getting over everything as quick as you would like me to.”

My voice is raised as I speak, hurt that she would even think that my choice not to share what happened is a personal attack on the group. No matter how hurt I’m feeling, the anger completely outweighs it. Angry that she can’t see that I’m still struggling and angry that my murderers are still attending this school. Instead of being locked behind bars for the rest of their life, like they deserve to be. Nobody can understand what I am going through and that makes me so astonishingly angry.

“Boo hoo. You’re still processing, we’re all still processing. Not to mention the fact that we’ve barely seen Wally these past couple of weeks because he’s been trailing around after you, trying to make you feel less threatened by him. He’s even taken off that stupid football shirt that he loved so much! I hate to break it to you, but he was here first.” She argues, tears well in my eyes as she mentions Wally. I lock eyes with him and see his downcast expression. Was she right? Was he only spending this time with me to make me feel better and less scared? “You should do everybody a favour and fuck off back to the old toilet block where you came from.”

“Rhonda!” Charlie exclaims, clearly shocked by her words.

“Is that how you really feel Wally?” I ask hesitantly, the dejection evident in my voice.

He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. Nodding slightly, I understand completely. Pushing myself out of the chair, nobody speaks as I make my exit from the room.

“Lovely chat.” Rhonda shouts, one last attempt to get a reaction from me. Even as I shove open the doors with an obnoxious slam, I don’t look back.

The entirety of my body feels heavy as I drag myself down the hallways. Nobody comes after me, not even Wally. I feel truly alone, hurt and confused. Death was supposed to be peaceful and yet here I am. Suffering more than I ever did when alive.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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[aajjks]

Lovers (m)

synopsis. you love him so much. You’ll die if he ever leaves you.

warnings.YÄNDËRË CÖNTËNT, mätůrè cöntënt, ünhëälthy rëlätïönshïp, pösëssïvënëss, yändêrê nöönä, sůggëstïvë cöntënt, 18+ cöntënt.

note. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! I’m getting old but send in asks? SHARE FEEDBACK AND ENJOY. *not edited*

Even just looking at him makes you feel calm.

You’re not sure about how you got so lucky to stumble upon jungkook three years ago, but you are so glad that you found him, maybe it was destiny.

Maybe it was destiny’s plan to bring you two together, maybe it was your destiny’s way to make up for all the bad things that happened in your life by bringing Jungkook in your life.

And he is the best thing in your life.

Sometimes you cannot believe that he’s yours and that he loves you so much. The question often lingers in your mind that why does he love you so much? What is it that makes him so crazy about you? Why is he so obsessed with you?

And when you ask him that question you only get one answer.

“because I was made to love you.” he says it without hesitation every single time, His brown bambi eyes full of love, and honesty.

The way he looks at you every time every single day it makes your heart clench in your chest, how can someone love you this much?

His love for you has you addicted. You don’t think you can live without his love anymore, you need his attention you crave it every single moment of the day.

He’s got you, so used to this.

He Is standing with you watching the neighbors as they move in, the wind is so clear, hitting your face, he is holding your hand, so tightly so focused on that woman who carries those boxes.

You’re focused on him instead gazing at him, his innocence, is the best thing about him, the way he gets so curious about the littlest things it makes you so happy, he’s like a child almost in an adult body.

“Noona, do you think I should help that girl carry the boxes? I mean it would be kind of me don’t you think? And they’re our neighbors, so maybe I should go and help her?”

That pulls you out of your thoughts, you process his words, and it almost makes you annoyed. “but why Baby? I think that elderly man is enough and I don’t think you need to go and help her.”

Sometimes it makes you angry too that how kind he can be and how naïve he is, He makes you feel so territorial, you’re so possessive about him it scares you.

As you gaze up forward to see the woman you take your time to notice her appearance, she looks pretty young, that blonde hair, and those green eyes.. you are pretty sure they’re green, her nose is almost perfect, and her lips look pretty.

You don’t like that. Insecurity immediately bubbles up in your chest. You sigh as you looked at her. Jungkook hums an okay and shrugs.

“come on baby let’s go inside I don’t like the weather anymore.”

it’s been a few days since your neighbors have moved in, you see the pretty girl, occasionally when you go out for work, it is ridiculous how pretty she is, she manages to look flawless, even at 7 AM in the morning.

You notice everything about her.

And you’re pretty sure that Jungkook does too.

And now you’re sitting at home, exhausted and insecure.

“Noona, why are you so quiet today? I missed you so much and you just came home showered and now you’re just sitting so quietly you didn’t even kiss me today… did I do something wrong?”

you blink twice as you see him stare at you with a gloomy expression and pouty lips.

“Tell me kookie.” You clear your throat. Crossing your arms on your chest you look at him with a serious expression, and he nods eagerly.

“Ask me anything I’ll tell you anything just talk to me.” He looks at you so desperately, his lips are quivering, “fine.”

“do you find her attractive?”

You don’t even know why you asked him this question,

but it was eating you up inside she’s way more beautiful than you can ever be. You’re also getting older. You don’t even feel like celebrating your birthday anymore

You’ve become so insecure in the span of three years, ever since he came into your life. He’s so beautiful, so handsome and so young.

What is he doing here with you?

Are you holding him back?

“I mean, she’s your age she’s beautiful she seems happy too… she is perfect. Do you like her?”

You stand up, suddenly, and look at him, borrowing your eyes into his. Your bunny boy stares up at you with his eyes completely caught off guard, his mouth is wide, with shock in his eyes, they get glossy

“Tell me Jungkook. Is noona not enough for you anymore?” Your heart feels like it will sink. You feel sick. The insides of your stomach are doing flips you’re not sure if you want to hear the answer what if he says yes he is tired of you?

What if he says yes, that he wants to be with her or he finds her attractive? The silence is eating you up yet you are not ready to hear his answer.

God you feel sick.

The jealousy is eating you from the inside, you haven’t felt hungry in so many days you can’t sleep because whenever you try to sleep the thought of him with her together fuck with your mind..

And she visits your house often, always smiling with her perfect teeth sometimes bringing cookies or pies, and he opens the door every time, smiling back at her, accepting her treats.

“N-Noona w-what are you even- shhh.”

You silence him before he can complete his sentence. You stalk closer to him, your head hurts from all the thinking you’ve been doing these past days.

You cannot lose him.

No you can’t.

“I love you so much koo. I really do.” You stop, he listens to you carefully, his brown eyes surprised but he doesn’t interrupt you, “I love you so much.” You let the tears fall, your voice shakes.

These emotions are so intense.

“Y-You love noona too right? You’ll never leave me right?” You kneel down on your knees, he’s sitting on the couch, frozen, his eyes fixed on you.

You grab his thighs, your nails dig into his jeans. “Tell me now Jungkook!” He doesn’t speak; it is driving you insane.

He’s so stupid!

“Too bad, even if you will, you can’t leave me Jungkook.”

You start laughing, something switches inside you.

You take your hands off him, “I’ll lock you up.”

Jungkook stands up and leans down so he can sit down infront of you.

“Really? What are you gonna do? Tell me noona.”

Your laughter stops.

You bite the inside of your cheek, you’re so confused right now, he’s breaking your heart.

“Tell me what are you going to do to me?”

“YOU ARE MINE. I’ll lock you up and never let you go.”

“You were actually right Jungkook. You were made to love me. Only me..” he listens to you so intently, you can hear how his panicked breathing matches with yours, none of you speak another word.

He closes the distance between you, you can feel his breath on your face and the rapid heartbeat, it’s synchronized.

“tell me that you love me please I need to hear it… please baby…” you beg him, your emotions are a mess. You’re not sure if this is because of lack of sleep or your insecurities

Jungkook looks at you with a weird dark hue in his eyes, his lips are pressed together in a thin line, it is frustrating you to know, and that he’s refusing to say anything.

It feels like years, and it’s been only a few seconds. His silence is like torture to you.

You start crying once again, are your hands cover your face and you let it all out.

And that is, until he finally says it.

“oh, I love you so much, noona, fuck… I love you so much.”

Before you can even look at him, he grabs your face and pulls it even closer to his, he takes one of your hands in his hand and guides it towards his crotch.

“Look at what you’ve done to me.”

He presses your hands onto his crotch and you feel his hardness against your hand.

“You’ve no idea how hot you sounded going all crazy… all for me, noona… fuck.. wish I could relive it over and over again..”

“But you have no reason to be insecure, because this heart beats only for you. Like I’ve said before, I was only made to love you.”

Jungkook presses his lips on yours, taking your breath away with how passionate it is, “my noona, my pretty noona.”

You kiss him back immediately and climb up on his lap, he shakes his hands around your body and you feel him shake.

“I love you so much… I love you alot.” He mumbles between your kiss, your fingers play with his hair as he unbottons your shirt impatiently.

“We’re each others forever, mark me noona, so no one can even think of me, without you.” It feels so good to kiss him, to be his embrace.

To hear him confess his undying love for you.

“I just wanted to hear hor much you loved me noona, she cannot ever take your place.. I don’t even remember her name.. I only remember you.”

“We’ll be lovers forever.”

[wardenparker]

The Stars Re-Align, part 2

Frankie Morales x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 9.8k Warnings: Reader is given an age and a grown daughter. Cursing, food/alcohol, mentions of military service (obviously), complicated relationships, family drama, of-age teenage sexuality, flashback, abusive relationship, domestic abuse, slaps to the face, verbal abuse. Summary: A trip down memory lane brings a conversation full of honesty with your daughter. Frankie frets about the future with Will. And then the world turns upside down all over again. (This chapter begins with a flash back). Notes: Rated E for an Explicit portrayal of an abusive relationship. Even if the on-page violence is minimal, it still deserves to be tagged.

“What time are your parents getting home?” The most frequently asked question you and Frankie have for each other these days, as you decide where to hang out after school and what hanging out will actually consist of.

Frankie smirks and shrugs slightly, eyes dark and full of promise as he slides them up and down your body. “Don’t know.” He admits. “Late. They said something about bowling after Dad got off work.”

The subway is packed full but somehow Frankie still manages to get impressively closer to you as the stops roll by. “Your place, then,” your head bobs in agreement while you try to think a little with his hands on you. Two more stops.

“My place.” He leans in, nuzzling your neck and dropping a kiss on your thready pulse. Grinning when it jumps against his lips.

“I’ll—” It’s all you can do not to gasp any time Frankie kisses you, and you’re in public. “I’ll call my Mom from your phone. Let her know.”

“Tell her you’re staying the night.” He encourages, knowing that he won’t want to let you go home. You live two stops from him and it’s close enough to swing by and have you get dressed in the morning. Or you can wear his clothes. He doesn’t mind that at all.

“It’s a good thing she likes you,” you huff, but again the sound turns into a swallowed moan when he touches you. “I’ll tell her.”

“Good.” Frankie loves how you melt for him. It’s something he takes pride in, aware that you do talk to your friends about your relationship, and that you only have good things to say.

"Not gonna let me study at all, are you?" It's a half-hearted gripe, although you both do have homework to do. Senior year is starting out better than you could possibly imagine and college applications will go out soon. Everything is just as perfect as you could possibly want.

“I bet you that you’ll get an A after our study session.” He chuckles in your ear. “Every prep test you get right, you get an orgasm.”

"Frankie." The little whine only spurs him on. If not for the train jolting to a stop and the hustling bustle of people moving all around you, he'd probably slip his hand under your clothes right there on the train.

���What?” He gives you an innocent look. “You know I’m good for them.”

"I know you are," you huff as he moves you off the train and onto the platform along with the masses. "That's why I'm whining."

“So you’re going to be a good girl and get every answer right, aren’t you?” It’s become a game to him, to see how often he can turn you on in public and he loves how responsive you are. His baggy pants hiding his hard cock from the public as he teases you.

"I would get every answer right anyway." It's another huff, but it's good natured. Mostly just the fact that he's so damn good at getting you all riled up no matter where you are.

“I know, my girl is smart.” He hums, guiding you towards the stairs. “Sexy, sweet, nice ass…shit that’s not an ‘s’ word.” He huffs playfully, just wanting to hear you laugh.

It works, because of course it does, and the sound bubbles out of you as you hustle up the stairs to street level with Frankie right behind you. The extra sway in your hips is just for him, but if someone else notices you couldn't care less. At times like this your world is just narrowed down completely and entirely to Frankie.

Friends for years, Frankie had finally gathered the courage to ask you out in middle school, elated when you said yes. There hadn’t been the drama others had, no huge fights and breaking up only to get back together, the two of you had been steady. He had tried to brush off all the jokes about getting married straight out of school and you popping out six kids right away. You both had plans that didn’t include kids for a few years. At least until after he was a higher rank in the Army. “Shake that ass, baby!” He calls out, whistling in a catcall.

If you were any version of yourself except a teenager desperately in love, you might have huffed at him or made a face, but in this moment you just giggle and throw even more sway into your movements until you’re all the way at the top of the stairs and waiting for him to join you.

“Goddamn.” Staring at your ass, Frankie nearly trips over his own feet on the stairs, catching himself and grinning when you giggle at him again.

“If we don’t get you home in one piece, you don’t get to have any fun,” you remind him, clicking your tongue teasingly.

“Ass.” He sticks his tongue out at you playfully.

"Didn't you just point out how much you love my ass?" The playful retort comes with a kiss to his cheek, and you grab his hand to head for his apartment.

Like others in the building, the apartment had been the Morales family home for years. Making the habit of pulling out his keys and unlocking the door almost automatic. It’s a long-ingrained motion.

“Any sign of siblings?” Before you sling down your backpack on Frankie’s desk chair, you bite your lip and look around curiously for his brother and sister.

"Nope." Frankie doesn't see any of the tell-tale signs of the younger ones being around. He would be tripping over their damn shoes around the door.

“Thank goodness.” The less time you have to spend being social, the more time you and Frankie have to yourselves, and you grab him by the wrist to pull him down the hall to his bedroom.

"Eager to study, already?" Frankie laughs as he lets you drag him away from the living area.

“We can study while other people are home.” You throw a pout at him over your shoulder. “Or do you not want to try what I learned from the copy of Cosmopolitan that Shelly Estrada stole from her mother?”

“What was in it?” He’s always interested in what you learn from those magazines.

“Something we absolutely could not hide under a blanket.” Giggling a bit, you bite your lip and toss your backpack down in his room at the end of the hall just in time for his arms to come around you. “And involves me being on top of you, which I know you love.”

His brow wings up and he grins instantly, always loving when you are bouncing on his cock. “But we had fucked with you on top under the blanket.”

“I know.” Your eyes flash with mischief as your boyfriend practically slams his bedroom door shut. “This is different.”

The click of the lock is loud, securing you inside and keeping out the rest of the world through the action. “Tell me.”

“You get on your back.” One of his favorite views of you is from his back so that isn’t a hard sell. “But when I get on top of you, it’s flipped. So you can eat me out while I suck your cock.”

“Fuck.” Frankie hisses, eyes widening in absolute delight as he quickly reaches for his shirt to pull it off. He loves using his tongue on you and enjoys the very boastful reputation you have given him by bragging to your friends. “I’ve seen it in a porno.” He admits, nodding in agreement. “Fuck, take your clothes off baby.”

“Boys have pornos and girls have Cosmo,” you tease, already pulling your t-shirt over your head.

“Girls can watch porno too.” Frankie snorts. “Bet it would turn you on and give you ideas.”

“Girls can watch porno too.” Toeing off your shoes and pulling off your socks lets you strip your jeans off too, and you stand unafraid and unapologetic in your underwear in front of Frankie. “But where would I get it?”

“Watch it with me.” He groans, pushing down his own jeans and underwear so his hard cock springs out and bobs in the air. “Sit on my dick while you watch another girl get fucked.”

“Next time,” you promise him, though it’s a little breathless as your mouth waters at the sight of him and you pull your bra and panties off as fast as humanly possible. “I want to try this first.”

"I want to try it too, baby." He is always eager to try new things, positions, everything with you. He had cum so quickly the first time he slid inside you. Embarrassed, but you hadn't blamed him for it. Now, he was proud of the fact that you were cumming before him, completely boneless as he fucks you into the bed of his childhood bedroom every chance he gets. You are his everything.

******

Sitting home alone last night was probably a bad idea, but you hadn’t wanted to wreck Rachel’s night. Instead you barely slept — crying intermittently and picking at the remains of your birthday cake with a seemingly endless margarita in your hand while you watched rom-coms and thought about Frankie. Just because Santiago was probably right to end things didn’t make it easier.

Now you’re hungover with your face bowed over a cup of coffee and trying to lecture yourself into making breakfast while you try to figure out what the fuck to do with yourself today.

There’s an extreme sense of guilt that has settled over Frankie’s shoulders. He had – unknowingly – crashed your party and ruined things for you. And changed his entire life in the process. Another child. A grown ass woman who was half his. He hadn’t told Marie, couldn’t even find the words, although he had scooped up his precious little girl and held her close, locking himself into the nursery with her.

As if you were feeling some of those vibes beat out to you across towns, you abandon the thought of breakfast for now in favor of going upstairs to dig out your oldest Memory Box. The box full of keepsakes and memories all pertaining to Frankie. Not the one that contains all of the pregnancy-related things that you’d shown Rachel multiple times in her life, but the secret one you keep tucked in the back of your closet that has things like ticket stubs to the movies and concerts you went to together or the endless Polaroids you took on every occasion. That box. That is the one you bring back downstairs to wallow in at the dining room table.

******

“I don’t think I need to leave Mom alone today.” Rachel tells Benny, sighing softly and reaching for his hand. “This doesn’t make things weird, does it?” She’s asking yet again, but she needs the reassurance.

“We’ll adjust, baby.” He promises her. She needs the comfort of hearing it again and, to Benny’s surprise, each time he says it he means it that much more.

“I didn’t know. I feel like I should have.” She confesses quietly.

“How?” That still doesn’t make sense to him. There is no way she could have known just based on instinct. “Absolutely nobody thought this was gonna happen, baby girl. And it doesn’t change how much I love you.”

“I know, I just—” she clings to his hand and sighs. “I’ve always had this fantasy of my dad coming back and finding us.” She admits quietly. “And now…I don’t know what to do.”

“Frankie’s a good guy.” Benny huffs, knowing that sounds lame. “He’s been through so much. Saved our skins way more times than I can count. And the way he is with Luna? Baby, I know it isn’t what you imagined, but give Fish a chance. You might be surprised to find out that your Dad is just a normal guy who will do right by you.”

“I feel guilty.” She huffs. “Santiago is a good guy too. And yet…” she shrugs slightly. “If you had asked me yesterday if he was someone I would want my mom to be with long term, I would have said yes.” She glances away. “Now…”

Benny’s brow furrows, seeing the guilt on her face for even thinking it. “You wish your parents could be together?” He guesses, soothing one hand over her back.

“Is that wrong?” She asks softly. “If he’s the man you say he is….my mom deserves to be happy.”

“Of course it’s not wrong,” Benny shakes his head. “But…it’s up to them.”

“Yeah.” She sighs softly and smiles at Ben. “Do you want to come in? Or do you want to run for the hills for right now?”

“If you want me to come in, I will.” In no way does he want to give her the impression he’s making a run for it, but he also doesn’t think it’s his place to be in there right now, either. “What if I drop you off now so you can have some time with your Mom, and I’ll come by with dinner later? I can pick up from the Thai place you guys like.”

“That would be good.” She nods, thankful that she can determine what kind of mood you are in. It’s possible that you have simply brushed off the entire thing, but she doubts it.

“Then that’s what I’ll do. Pad Thai for my girl and that crazy peanut curry your Mom likes.” He grins when Rachel almost opens her mouth, but he holds up his hand. “And the fried calamari with the sweet chili sauce. Otherwise don’t bother bringing anything at all. I know, baby. I love you.”

She laughs and leans over to press her lips to his cheek. “You are the best.” She promises. “Thank you for being here. For not finding all of this crazy.”

It’s a little crazy, but not nearly crazy enough to lose her over, so Benny just hums and kisses her back. “Text me if you need me, baby. I’m going to train for a few hours.”

“Good luck.” She doesn’t ask if Frankie is going to help, she doesn’t want to know right now. Since his pilot’s license was suspended, Frankie had been helping Benny train and right now, it’s just too awkward to think about.

Normally vigilant, you don't even hear the front door of the house open when Rachel comes inside. The box of memories has overflowed all over the table as you uncover more and more pieces of your past, and there is definitely a damp tissue in your hand when you finally hear footsteps on the kitchen tile. "Oh shit." The sound makes you jump, but when you wheel around to see your daughter standing there, you relax immediately. "Sorry, sweet pea. I didn't know you were coming home. You scared me."

“Hey Mom.” Curiosity practically seeps out of her pores, looking over pictures and trinkets that she’s never seen before. She knows this has to be a box of things from your time with her dad. She knows it. “Organizing?”

"Um...more like memory lane." You glance back at the table before looking up at your daughter and pat the chair beside you. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

“No, but I can wait.” She doesn’t want you to stop, so she slides into the seat and picks up a Polaroid. “Holy shit….you two look like babies.”

"That was..." Tilting your head slightly in consideration, you squint at the faded photograph and end up smiling. "Sophomore year. So we were about 15? They took us all on a class trip to Ellis Island."

“God.” She huffs, squinting at the photo. “You two look over the moon crazy about each other.” She points out, noticing the way that her dad’s arm is slung over your shoulder and he’s grinning like he’s the luckiest boy in the world.

"We were." If there's a note of yearning in your voice it's unintentional, but you do reach for another photo and hand it over to her to inspect. "Senior prom," you hum in amusement, and offer her another photo that has you and Frankie noticeably younger with a very excited looking collie in the photo between you. "And this is the day he asked me out." Shifting the picture from Ellis Island into the middle, you look at the trio with tired eyes. "The beginning, middle, and almost-end of our relationship."

“You never really talked about my dad much.” She studied each photo carefully, as if she could possibly glean some friction that was under the bright smiles and finding nothing. “Did it hurt too much?”

"Partially." It was a large part of it, if you're honest, and you realize belatedly that you've picked up a piece of jewelry he gave you ages ago like it's some kind of fidget toy. "But also...I didn't think we would ever see him again. And I didn't want you to build up dreams of him thinking he might just stroll in through the front door one day. Which seems ludicrous now, since that is essentially what happened."

Rachel snorts and leans back, biting her lip. “It’s fucking crazy is what it is.” She admits. “He’s like…one of Ben’s best friends. He said they’ve been through some shit together. Francisco saved his life…more than once. My father saved my boyfriend’s life.”

"I'm sure you have plenty you want to ask." Pushing back from the table, you squeeze her shoulder gently and step away to scour the refrigerator for anything breakfast oriented. "But first...how are you and Ben doing, honey? Are you guys okay with all this?"

“We’re okay.” She promises, reaching for another photo. “He’s coming back after training with Pad Thai for dinner.” She tells you. “Santiago still asleep?” His car isn’t in the driveway, so it’s an invitation for you to talk, rather than a question.

"Probably." He's a heavy sleeper, and definitely not a morning person, so wherever he is he's probably still asleep. But that isn't what Rachel is asking and you both know it. "He didn't stay, honey." Suddenly you want absolutely nothing to eat all over again, and your head pounds even harder. More coffee will help... "We, uh...we broke up, Rach."

“Oh shit.” She huffs out the whispered curse and shoots out of her chair. Dropping the photos as she rushes towards you to engulf you in a huge hug. “I’m so sorry, Mom.”

"It's okay, honey." It hurts like hell, but you aren't going to treat your daughter like your therapist. It's more than enough that she's there to offer you comfort and support. "I'm just glad that the whole situation hasn't come between you and Ben."

“He broke up with you, didn’t he?” Rachel frowns deeply, upset on your behalf. “That asshole. I’m going to chew him a new asshole.”

"It just wasn't meant to be, that's all." The last thing you want to do is cause more drama with this group of friends that she has. It's bad enough that her father is in the middle of all of this. "And he's entitled to make that decision for himself."

“Did he say why?” She demands.

"He didn't have to say why." But now she's upset, and you start buzzing around the kitchen again to keep yourself busy and hopefully soothe both of you with some food. "If it makes you feel any better, he wasn't happy about it."

“Oh.” That makes her pause and she tries to see it from his point of view. “Oh shit….” She sighs and moves to flop back down into her chair. “He— it’s because of Dad, right?” She asks quietly. “Some kind of bro code. ‘Thou shall not sleep with friend’s former girl’? That has to be it.”

"I don't know if it's as formal as that, but...basically." Yogurt and fresh fruit from the fridge are joined by a box of granola from the cupboard and you put on a fresh pot of coffee to brew. "It's okay, sweet pea. I promise. And please don't think any less of Santiago for putting his friendship first. He's known Frankie a heck of a lot longer than he's known me."

“I just— I don’t like the fact that him showing up has ruined things for you.” She’s still conflicted, and she would never tell you her secret fantasy, even as close as you are.

"It's better to find out early on." That's what you're telling yourself this morning. That you were better off finding out that Santiago and Frankie are best friends before you and Santiago had started planning for the future. "It's not anybody's fault. It's just...how life is sometimes."

She blows out a guilty sigh. “I wish I had stayed home.” She mourns. “I didn’t know he was going to break up with you. You were all alone.”

"I didn't want your night ruined." Once the coffee pot is going again, you grab bowls and spoons and bring the whole tray of breakfast things to the table. "You deserve to have a nice time with your boyfriend. That shouldn't stop on account of your Mom having a little drama in her life."

“A little drama…” she snorts and rolls her eyes, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. Unaware that she looks exactly like Frankie would have. Right down to the downturn of her frown and the crease of her dimple.

"You look exactly like your father when you do that, you know." You've always thought so, and she's been doing that posture since she was a toddler. "If you ever see him do it, it will be like looking in a mirror."

She rolls her eyes again, sensing that you are trying to steer the subject back to him and she lets you “Tell me about it?” She asks softly. “All of it. The good, the bad and the ugly.”

"For the most part, it was all good," you admit. A basic breakfast comes together easily for both of you and you fill your bowls with yogurt and fruit and honey and granola in your own personal perfect ratios. "We were nearly inseparable. And since we went to the same school, and our Dads worked for the same company, it all went pretty smoothly for a long time. Everybody just...assumed we would always be together. Even us."

“Was there ever any sign he would break up with you?” Rachel can’t even fathom how abruptly the relationship ended if you were as close as you say. It’s just not how she knows her mother to be. You have always been strong and vocal.

“We had a whole plan.” A plan that went haywire, but a plan nonetheless. “But…when I found out I was pregnant I panicked. I started pressing Frankie to get married quickly, instead of waiting like we had planned. I should have told him why, but I was seventeen and convinced that he would just break up with me if I told him the truth. And…no, before you ask. He never gave me any indication that he wouldn’t have wanted a baby. But he wanted to wait to do the grown-up things, so I thought that springing the news on him would ruin it. But if I could show him that getting married earlier wasn’t a big deal, then the baby news would be okay, too. It…it doesn’t make a lot of sense in retrospect. But we were just about to graduate high school and I was hiding my morning sickness by claiming it was nerves over my boyfriend joining the Army. I was not at my best critical thinking levels.”

“Do you think he would have stayed if he had known about me?” The question is quiet, introspective. Wanting to know if she would have been wanted. She knows you love her; you’ve always made that clear, but she also wants to know about the man who is the other half of her biological makeup.

“I didn’t think so at the time, but I don’t know how much of that was just fear of the unknown,” you admit, reaching for her hand and squeezing it gently in your own. “But I know he wants to get to know you now. I’m sorry that isn’t a very good answer.”

“Are you— are you okay with that?” She asks, unsure if getting to know Fransisco would cause you pain. She wouldn’t want that, not for a moment. “If you don’t want to see him….” She shrugs. “I can meet him out in town. Not talk about him.”

“Honey, no.” On this point you are absolutely firm, and you shake your head adamantly. “There’s been enough years of not talking about your father. He’s not someone to be ashamed of and we’re not going to treat him that way.” Will it hurt? Of course. But you would rather see Rachel happy than anything else in the world.

“Okay.” She’s still eyeing you doubtfully, but she agrees. For now, she will just make sure that there isn’t a lot of talk about the man you had loved. “Do you— how do you feel about getting to know him again? Seeing him?”

“I wish it hadn’t been by surprise.” That admission comes with a little laugh, because yesterday is still so unbelievable to you, but you just shrug and shake your head. “To be honest, sweet pea? If I can’t face him at this point, I’ll never be able to. And you deserve to know your father.”

“It might be a good thing, then.” She decides. “You make it sound like you never expected to see him ever again.”

"I didn't." You can admit to that very easily.

She nods, looking down at the photos again. “You loved him.” She can tell that easily by the besotted look on your face. “Do you still? Or love that version of him?” She points to the high school photo of them together.

"You're really not going easy on me with the questions today, are you kiddo?" The coffeepot finishes percolating, and you pop up from the table again, needing a fresh cup if you're going to continue on with this line of thought from your daughter. After a few moments of silence filled only by the pouring of hot coffee, you return to the table and sigh. "Yes." You nod finally. "I still love him very much. But who he was then and who he is now may be two completely different people so I have no intention of making a nuisance out of myself after a whole lifetime apart. I only care that you get to have your father around if you want him in your life."

“I’m sorry.” She murmurs softly. “Who would have fucking ever thought? Not me. I mean, I always thought it would be wild if Ben had met my dad. But you nor my grandparents ever even said his name.”

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Rach. Life just...doesn't make sense sometimes. But we always make the best we can out of the confusion." The two of you doctor your coffee and dig in to your light breakfast. Whatever happens, you will just keep rolling with it. Your adult life has been making sure that Rachel is cared for and happy, and that doesn't change just because Frankie Morales still makes your heart clench.

******

He’s in the room with Luna when there’s a knock at the front door. Watching her play with the toys in front of her and squeal happily for tummy time. She’s almost ready to crawl, but for some reason, hasn’t started yet. It irritates Marie, but Frankie is happy to have his daughter still immobile for a bit longer. Once she starts moving, there will be no stopping her.

Marie pulls open the front door with a huff, dressed to go out and irritated that she's being delayed even for a few seconds. "Will." The figure of Frankie's friend fills the doorway and where she once had patience to pretend to be glad to see any of them, it has evaporated recently. "He's been in with the baby since yesterday. Good luck getting him out."

“Hey Marie,” Will doesn’t care for the woman, but he also knows that as long as Frankie is with her, he needs to be polite. Knowing that causing any problems for his former teammate would not be in the man’s best interest. “You are dressed up nice. Big plans?”

"Girls' day," she tells him breezily. Marie grabs her purse and sunglasses with the door still open and swans right through it. "Bye!"

“Bye.” He watches her practically zip down the stairs and chuckles slightly. It’s not like having a day for yourself is not warranted. He wonders if Frankie offered this so he could go to the cookout yesterday. “Fish?” He calls out, wanting him to know that he was here. Everyone is a little more on edge since South America and it wouldn’t be wise to startle him.

Luna squawks happily at the familiar sound of her uncle Will's voice, and he steps further into the apartment. Footfalls that are heavy enough to be heard, but not heavy enough to disturb the downstairs neighbors. The woman who lives below Frankie works third shift and will barely be asleep at this hour of the morning.

Frankie looks up as the door opens, his eyes falling on Will before looking back down at his daughter. “Uncle Will is here.” He coos, brow furrowed as he goes over yet another thing that he missed out on with Rachel. “What’s up?”

“Thought you could use some company,” Will tells him honestly, but he also reaches out for Luna and grins when she reaches back. “And I wanted to see my favorite niece in the whole wide world,” he babbles, laughing when the little girl giggles and looks over again at Frankie. He looks like he needs to stretch at minimum, if not run a marathon to get rid of some stress.

“Only—” Frankie breaks off from his usual retort, paling slightly when the new dynamic hits him all over again. “Where’s Jess?”

“Brunch with her sister.” Will’s girlfriend is typically around for whatever mischief the group gets up to when she isn’t at work, but makes seeing her sister a priority just like Will and Benny make each other priority. It gives her a good foundation of understanding for the Miller brothers, and makes her a solid support person for the whole group — not just for Will. “She asked me to apologize to you for having to work yesterday. Said it sounded like you could have used the support…”

“Yeah.” The word is heavy, pushed out of him on a sigh. He reaches up to scrub his hair, his hat missing this morning and he picks up Luna to hand her to Will when she keeps squawking for him.

“Hey little fairy queen!” Will blows a raspberry on Luna’s cheek to make her laugh and nods his head that Frankie should follow him out into the living room. “Marie went out,” the younger man tells him.

Nodding quietly, Frankie groans as he pushes himself up off the floor. “Yeah. She said something about a day off.” He rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything else. Seems like she’s needed more and more days off since he’s come back from South America, but every time he suggests spending time together, it’s thrown in his face that he was radio silent for nearly fourteen days – double the amount of time he had said he would be gone. Frankie has just given up trying to apologize.

“Talk to me, Fish.” Will insists, carrying Luna into the kitchen to grab them drinks and looking the little girl over. “Does she need a bottle? I have no idea what time it is.”

“She ate about an hour ago.” Frankie sighs and moves over to the fridge, opening it up to notice that Marie didn’t get the cereal he had asked for, nor any of the baby foods. He sighs and grabs a couple of sodas. It’s a bad idea to drink right now. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Fish.” Will’s tone is deadpan and matter-of-fact all at once. “C’mon man.”

Sighing again, he pops the top of his soda and takes a swing. “What do you want me to say?” Frankie huffs. “This is going to be a big fucking deal.” Marie is going to kill him. It’s not going to matter that his child is grown or that he never even knew about her. His girlfriend had this strange obsession with having been the only girl to have a baby with him. Had once jokingly told him that she had baby trapped him— although it hadn’t felt like much of a joke at the time. She had been six months pregnant at that point. “I feel goddamn guilty.”

“You had no idea.” Will reminds him. He cracks the cap on the soda that he had been handed and quietly approves of the choice. Marie hadn’t been a very good influence in Fish’s habits but since coming back from South America he’s been trying to clean up his act pretty dramatically. “But uh…hell of a coincidence, honestly. We always knew you and Pope had the same taste in women.”

“Fuck.” Frankie snorts and rolls his eyes, trying to hide the pain in them. “It’s not that….” He hedges guiltily, reaching out and tickling Luna under her chin and then dropping his hand. “I’ve been stuck on what could have been if I had known.”

“Would you have stayed?” It’s a hard question, and maybe it doesn’t have an answer, but it’s important that he’s at least thought about it. About what he would have done then and what he’ll do now.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” The answer is immediate and fierce. “I should have asked questions. Demanded to know why she wanted to get married so badly.”

“You were kids.” That part of the situation cannot be stressed nearly enough, and the two men bring Luna into the living room to settle her in her playpen so they can talk.

“We were adult enough to make a baby.” Frankie shoots back before he winces. “One who is currently fucking your brother. Jesus Christ.” He flops down onto the sofa and covers his face with his hand.

“Yeah…Benny promises to cool his jets talking about her like that, by the way.” That conversation had been had between the brothers already — Benny had brought it up and Will promised to deliver the message. “He never would’ve if he had known.”

“Still gonna punch him.” Frankie snort out, looking up at the ceiling. “Definitely didn’t need to know that shit about my daughter.”

"More than fair," Will agrees with a snicker. "He absolutely deserves it. My only request is to be allowed to film it for posterity."

Frankie laughs, probably for the first time since his world has been flipped upside down and he leans back. “What the fuck am I going to do?”

"Perfect world." Will poses, pointing a finger and the neck of the Dr. Pepper bottle at Fish. "Best case scenario, what would you want?"

Frankie shakes his head. “Time travel isn’t possible, man.” He sighs and looks over at Luna. “And I don’t regret having my baby girl.”

"Okay, that's fair." Nobody could regret little Luna, in his opinion. She's the best baby in the world, and he and Benny have their fair share of nieces and nephews to compare to back home from their sister. "Best case scenario of the future."

Guilt swims in his stomach and he rubs it reflexively. “Come on, she hates me.” He starts out. “There’s no way I could possibly have that happily ever after like in some kind of fucking Hallmark movie.” He closes his eyes. “Besides, Marie would fucking murder me.”

"Respectfully, Marie can rot in hell." None of the guys like her, but Fish had been so deep under her spell in the beginning that they had let things run their course, hoping that he would come to his senses along the way. Instead, Fish ended up with a baby on the way. "If you want your girl, maybe one of us can at least do a little recon before you just assume that she hates you?"

He hates the hope that blooms, knowing it would be squashed quickly. “Fuck— how could she not hate me?” He huffs, rolling his eyes and flopping his head forward to take another sip of the soda, even if he desperately wishes it was a beer. “I left her alone to raise a kid. Our kid.” He bites his lip. “I almost saw her….after boot camp. But I was too goddamn stubborn and that bit me in the ass.”

"What happened?" Trying to poke and prod along this highway through Fish's memories is precarious, but it's why Will is here. Pope isn't going to be able to talk sense into Fish right now while he's still getting over the woman who fathered his best friend's oldest child. And Benny sure as fuck isn't going to be the one to offer advice when he's currently sleeping with said oldest child. This one is Will's job.

“I don’t even fucking know.” Frankie closes his eyes. “There was the normal bullshit teasing.” He admits. “Everyone saying I was going to knock her up before we graduated. Have to get married. But we had a plan. I was going to go through boot camp and my schooling and then we were going to get married.” It’s filtering through memories that he’s simultaneously repressed and played over and over again. Not sure where daydreams end and reality begins.

It does no one any good to point out that he had very clearly gotten you pregnant before graduation, so Will glosses over that particular detail entirely. "So when she started pushing too, you dug your heels in?"

“She just hit me with it out of nowhere.” Frankie tells him. “At our graduation party. Demands that we get married. Gets angry when I remind her that we had a plan. That I wasn’t marrying her right out of high school.” Frankie sighs, the ‘hindsight is 20/20’ saying is smacking him on the forehead, but you could have told him. “She started crying and telling me we had to get married or it’s over and I snapped.”

"Okay." When Will nods, he leans forward in his seat and watches Luna playing with her brightly colored plastic key ring for a few seconds. "So neither of you gets points for 'Most Mature Teenager Ever'. That's not super surprising."

“No, but I could have cooled down. Gone back to talk to her.” Frankie sighs. “I left for boot camp the next day.”

"But we all know you never forgot about her." The elder Miller brother looks up, raising an eyebrow at Fish and daring his friend to challenge him. "We all have heard you talk about her."

Frankie blushes slightly, knowing that Will is right. “You never forget your first love.”

"Can I be honest?" Normally it's not something he has to ask about, but this is a sensitive topic.

“Shoot.” They’ve been friends for too long to even question it, but Frankie gives him the go ahead.

"It's pretty obvious to anybody who knows you that..." Will shrugs, almost apologizing for the observation. "That you're still in love with her. Or at least you still have love for her."

“That obvious?” Frankie rolls his head back and groans. “Great. Now everyone is going to think I’m pathetic. And Marie can never know who she is. Never.”

"Nobody thinks you're pathetic, Fish." He chuckles softly as Luna has her keys in one hand and reaches for her teddy with the other, determined to have both toys at once. "But man...we've got to do something about this whole situation before you lose your mind or your health or both."

“Seriously thought about just getting faded.” He shoots Will a bland smile to show he’s joking. “Too bad we burned Lorea’s house down. Sure he had some shit stashed in there too.”

"That shit would've killed you," Will points out without hesitation. "But that's exactly what I'm talking about. You and the little queen over here deserve a way better environment than the one you've got."

“Marie swears she’s clean too.” Frankie had gone into rehab before the baby was born, another sore spot between them. But he wants to get his license back bad enough that he would do whatever it takes.

"It's not just that." It's largely that, but not just. "We're worried, Fish. Honestly worried. You're miserable except for your little girl, and you don't have to be."

“She’s pissed at me.” Frankie reminds Will. “Rightfully so. I got popped on a test. I lost my fucking license.”

“So you’re telling me it’s just right now?” Will challenges. “It’s completely temporary that Marie is upset. It’s not been years of excuse after excuse and abusive, controlling behavior that you would have called any single one of us out on already?”

“What do you want me to do, Will?” He feels helpless and stuck. “We have a kid together. I can’t just fucking get rid of her.”

“Jess and I talked.” It might be horrible, but just getting Frankie to admit that he would rather not be with Marie is a huge step forward. They’ve been worried about him for a long time and they’ll take the avenue in that they’ve got. “We cleaned up the spare bedroom and we want to offer it to you and Luna. One floor away might not be far from Marie yet, but it’s a good first step. A safe step.”

“She’s going to try to take Luna from me.” Frankie is immediately shaking his head no, sitting up. “I can’t— Jesus Will, she knows what happened in South America. You don’t think she won’t use that shit to take my child from me?”

“She has no proof.” The reminder is a stark one. That the trip five men made and only four returned from was a dire one. “We were ghosts down there, man. As far as anybody can prove, we were in Sao Paolo on a boys’ trip. That’s all. Nothing illegal about that whatsoever.”

He’s right, but the blind panic still grips Frankie. “I can’t lose her.” He murmurs, looking over at where she has tired herself out and sprawled on the mat of her play pen to sleep. “I’ve lost too much already.”

"We're going to do everything we can, and we're going to be on your side every step of the way," Will assures him. "If you want to get out of this situation, then we're going to help you. Together."

“She’s gotta leave me.” Frankie had never married her, thank God, but he sighs softly. “I think she’s close.”

Ruefully, Will chuckles under his breath. "Then maybe we should tell her about Rachel."

Frankie huffs out a small chuckle. “Do you want her to hit me with a fuckin’ frying pan?”

"My reflexes are pretty good," he's still chuckling, but this time he shrugs and nudges Fish. Seeing him laugh even a little is good. "I'll stop it before the pan gets to you."

“You mentioned a lawyer once.” Frankie reminds him. “You think you could—? I mean, you don’t have to.”

"Absolutely." There is no hesitation in Will's answer. In fact, he's practically pulling out his phone.

“Don’t— I mean, just talk to them.” Frankie hedges. “See if they would be willing to talk to me.”

"I know he will, but I won't jump the gun. I'll just talk to him." The lawyer in question is ex-Army and specializes in custody cases without a clear-cut answer. Will knows he'll do everything he can for a man like Frankie.

He can’t even believe he is contemplating this. “I know she’s going to find out about Rachel.” Frankie murmurs quietly. “But I’m dreading it.”

"That's more than fair." Shifting on the couch, Will looks away from the little figure of Luna asleep in her playpen and focuses on Frankie. "But will it be better or worse if she finds out on her own, rather than you being direct with her?"

“I don’t fucking know.” Frankie frowns, scratching his head. “She’s been so….volatile after Luna. Or South America. Pick one. But she just throws a fit when I tell her to go to the doctor.”

"You shouldn't be alone when you tell her." That much is pretty damn obvious, but Will isn't beyond stating the obvious right now. "If for no other reason than having a corroborating witness for the custody trial."

“Might need a camera.” Frankie snorts quietly, hating how bad things have gotten. He could deal with a lot of shit, but it’s getting be too much.

"Florida's a two-party consent state," Will reminds him. "A witness is better than a camera."

Frankie blows out a sigh and nods. “Yeah. You’re right.” He shakes his head. “I don’t understand how I get myself into this shit.”

“What matters is that we’re going to get you out of it.” The promise is solemn. Quiet, even. That they are going to get Fish out of this hellhole of a relationship. “You and Luna. You’re going to be safe, so she can grow up without worrying that her mom is going to blow up at any time.”

“I don’t understand what went wrong.” Frankie continues on, shaking his head. “It was good at the beginning.”

“Not everything is made to last.” They aren’t necessarily the softest words of wisdom out there, but Will knows as well as anyone that good things come to an end. After all, things were great with his ex-fiancée until they weren’t. “And sometimes…sometimes we get a second chance.”

“Not that I deserve one.” That comment comes for a multitude of reasons, not just leaving you alone and unsupported during your pregnancy and your daughter’s life.

Will hums, understanding where the thought comes from even if he doesn’t agree. “Isn’t that up to her, ultimately? And to you, if you want to give her a second chance?”

“I don’t have any reason to not give her anything.” Frankie snorts. “I owe her. A shit ton of back child support, too.”

"Just start small," the other man advises. The small smile playing on his lips is just from being happy that his friend is starting to seem more relieved. "Talk to her. Get to know Rachel better."

Frankie blows out a sigh and looks over at Luna again. He can’t imagine missing any more time with her than he has to, and he missed Rachel’s entire life. He had a lot to make up for. “Yeah.”

Will blows out a sigh, reaching over and patting Fish's shoulder with the force of a man who knows his own strength but understands some people need to have love and support knocked into them instead of handed gently. "We'll figure it out, man," he promises. "Whatever it takes.”

******

Because Marie is gone out for a girl’s night and Will’s girl is spending the day with her sister, Frankie and Will end up ordering a pizza. Relaxed for the first time since the big reveal, Frankie is sitting on the sofa, laughing with two slices on a plate and another soda in his hand. Luna is already fed, bathed and down for the night, so he’s seriously contemplating the option of a beer.

The door slams open without ceremony, definitely loud enough to make both men inside jump and loud enough to wake up the baby, but Marie doesn't care. She tears inside like a tornado, already seething and ready to scream before she's even closed the door behind her. "Francisco!"

“Jesus!” Frankie jumps up, pizza spilling onto the floor and he’s half afraid that there’s been an accident, until he sees her fury-filled face. “What?”

"What the fuck is this?" There is a slip of paper in Marie's hand and Frankie's coat is draped over her arm, but she throws that down on the floor in the entry way. "Tell me why I reached into your coat pocket and found some slut's phone number?"

His eyes widened, latched onto the paper and he shakes his head. “It’s not— Marie— she’s not— it’s not like that.” He promises, holding his hands up. “I don’t fuck around on you.”

"Then who the fuck is Rachel?" She snarls, practically spitting the name at him as though its very existence was proof enough of his wrongdoing.

“She’s Benny’s girl.” He pleads for her to understand. “I promise. She gave me her number as a friend, nothing more. She’s not interested in me and I’m not interested in her.”

"So you're fucking your friend's girl now?" Marie is very much in the camp that men and women can't be friends without sex getting in the way, so she doesn't buy this bullshit for a second. "Do you hear this Miller? This asshole is fucking your brother's girlfriend."

“God no.” Frankie nearly blanches at the thought and he can’t shake his head fast enough. “No— I’m not fucking her. Never. Please, babe, you gotta believe me. There’s nothing like that between us.”

"Is that where you were yesterday, asshole?" The fire in Marie's eyes makes it abundantly clear that she has already drawn her own conclusions. She has already decided what happened and nothing Frankie says will dissuade her. "Rachel's house?"

“With Benny.” Frankie stresses, wincing when he hears Luna start to cry out in her bedroom. “Fuck.” He hisses. “Will was there. Nothing happened. Goddamnit, you woke the baby.”

"Oh, who gives a fuck about the baby?" She wails, which only makes Luna cry louder. "You're cheating on me!"

“Hold on.” Will doesn’t like to get involved in this, but he holds up his hand. “Fish isn’t cheating on you.”

“Nobody asked you.” Marie spits, clearly only wanting Will involved in the argument when it suits her.

“I’m not cheating on you.” Frankie implores one more time. “Please, just— believe me. Rachel is—” he can’t say it. The words are stuck in his throat.

“Rachel is what, Francisco?” She’s spitting mad — literally — and when Frankie doesn’t answer her immediately she steps further into his space and slaps him clean across the face. “You’re a piece of shit, Morales. But you knew that already.”

His head snaps to the side but he doesn’t react. Will tenses, not sure if Frankie would ever snap to jump back, but he knows that it would be a mistake on the other man’s part. “I am.” Frankie tells her quietly. “We both know that.”

Satisfied with at least that one answer, Marie tosses the piece of paper on the ground at his feet and crosses her arms. “So what the fuck do you have to say for yourself?”

She won’t stop. Not now. Now that she has this insane idea in her head that he’s cheating on her. Frankie glances over at Will, sighing heavily and he scrubs his hands on his pants. “Thing is…Marie…” he swallows, feeling nervous even though he had been cool under more dire circumstances than these. “Rachel is….uh, she’s my fucking daughter.” He confesses quietly.

The moment of hesitation before Marie starts laughing like a disgusted hyena is only the amount of time it takes her to process the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard in her life. Without another second of thought or hesitation, Marie's hand makes contact with Frankie's cheek a second time, the slap ringing through the apartment with a violent vibration. "You should have been groveling on your knees every day you had me," she spits, arms crossed again despite looking like she wants to make it three slaps for 'good' measure. "You fucked up for the last time, Morales. Hope Rachel is enough of a slut to make up for the fact that you wouldn't know where to put your dick with a road map." Shoving past both men, the whirlwind of Marie's anger propels her toward the bedroom with impressive velocity. "Have fun raising that crotch goblin alone, asshole. You fucked up for the last time."

“Marie…” Frankie can’t believe what the fuck she just said. The door to the bedroom slams open and he can only pray that it’s their bedroom and not Luna’s as the baby’s screams get louder. “I’m coming, baby girl.” He rushes to the baby, wanting to protect her and calm her down.

Will stands in the living room, hypervigilant with his phone in his hand to call for help – emergency services or the guys, whichever is needed – just in case. Frankie had closed the door to Luna's nursery behind him to keep the noise down but it's the door to the master bedroom that Will is watching closely. If Marie wants to start shit with him, too, he's right here ready for it.

Rushing over to the crib, Frankie picks up a red-faced, screeching Luna. Gasping for air as she screams, shaking in fury. “It’s okay, baby.” He coos softly, making sure to keep his own emotions closed off, not wanting to transfer energy to her. “Daddy’s gotcha. I’m right here. Shhhhhush.”

Rattling from the room next door continues, finding a crescendo in the crashing of something that might have been furniture. When Marie throws the door back open she seethes at Will, screaming something incoherent before shoving him out of the way to snap up a few things from the living room and throw them into the various bags she has been packing in the bedroom. Mere seconds later, she is marching out the door with one last screeched "FUCK YOU, FRANCISCO!" and leaving it open as she stomps off down the hall into the night.

Luna is halfway soothed, still hiccupping and sobbing into his chest as Frankie rocks her as he paces around the room. Completely sure that his girlfriend has trashed the apartment, but his concern is his daughter.

The door to the nursery opens slowly about a minute later, and Will swallows but shakes his head solemnly. "Well..." The best he can do is sigh. "She's gone. Took about four bags with her."

Frankie turns and nods. “Can you— uh, I think she might need another bottle.” He tells Will. “I don’t want to put her down.”

"I got it," Will promises, putting up one hand as if to tell Fish to stand down. "I also called in reinforcements. The guys should be here in no time. We'll get the place cleaned up and figure things up." He flashes his friend a half smile, trying for a joke. "Guess you won't need to move in with me and Jess after all."

“I don’t—” Frankie bites his lip and frowns. “You don’t think she will come back, do you?”

"Maybe for some stuff she left behind, but those were full bags, Fish." Will shakes his head again, not even sure what to say at this point but sure as all hell that things will be figured out before the night is over. "I'm just glad it's not too late. The number of noise complaints should be fewer." With that, Will steps away to make Luna a bottle and wait for the others to arrive.

“It’s okay, baby girl.” Frankie rumbles softly, rubbing her little back and jostling her to calm her down. “You’re okay. Everything is good.”

******

Benny ignores his phone the first time it goes off in his pocket. The second time, even. It's the third time his phone buzzes with a text message that he apologizes and takes his cell out at the kitchen table as he's eating dinner with you and Rachel. "It's the group chat," he explains, the repeated apology apparent in his voice. You both know there is a group chat with the guys, but opening it at the table isn't his usual thing. He tries to have manners around his girlfriend's mother. "Oh shit..." Benny breathes a second later, eyes widening as he reads the texts.

“What?” Rachel looks over at Benny in concern. She knows how hard he tries to impress you and it’s rare that he’s even pulling out his phone.

"I, uh..." He's already halfway pulling the napkin out of his lap with panic on his face, and he looks up at you and Rachel but his eyes jet back down to his phone. "It's Frankie," he explains, unsure how that particular news is going to go over. "He's...my brother is over at his place. It's a SOS text."

“What is it?” Rachel’s eyes widen and she reaches for Ben. Almost ready to claw the phone from him to see for herself. Her mind has immediately started spiraling with worst case scenarios.

"The text says clean up and mission assessment," Benny tells her, although he knows that that won't make any sense to her. It's more like reassuring her that grabbing his phone won't do her any good.

"Is he okay?" You ask, wanting a much plainer and more immediate answer than whatever cryptic military text message he got.

"Safe." Benny clarifies. "That text means he needs our help, not that something has happened to him."

“I’ll go with you.” Rachel is immediately tossing down her napkin and standing. Clearing her plate so she can tidy up quickly and head out with him. It’s obviously time sensitive.

"Baby..." Benny stands too, watching Rachel's anxiety start to build very obviously. "You don't need to do that. We can take care of things. I don't even know what happened yet."

"It doesn't matter what happened." In the split second he looked away, you've stood up, too. Gathering things up on the table means you'll just throw leftovers in the fridge and wash the dishes later. "If he needs help, we're going to help him."

“Mom…are you sure?” Rachel stops and turns towards you. “You don’t have to. Everyone would understand.”

"Sweet pea, I have eighteen extra years of stubbornness on you," you remind her, never once pausing as you clear up from dinner. "We'll take two cars, I'll follow you and Ben since I don't know where I'm going."

Rachel looks over at Benny, but he’s just shaking his head and holding his hands up. Unwilling to get in the middle of that argument. “Don’t look at me.” He snorts.

"Leftovers in the fridge. Two cars. Let's go," you insist, knowing from the churning in the pit of your stomach that whatever the problem is...you're in it now. If Frankie needs help, you're going to be right there to give it to him.

“Yes ma’am.” Benny helps put away the food, clearing his own plate and grabbing his keys out of his pocket. “You can follow me.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer @shakespeareanwannabe

TSR: @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @darkheartgatita @anoverwhelmingdin @thisishwrworld

My Masterlist!

[fuxuannie]

I need to know that if you had done sampo and danheng's voice line hdc🤔 cause damn those are my daily dose

╭₊˚ ๑︰voicelines about their lover

:★: relationship : (seperate) sampo koski & dan heng x g-neutral reader

:★: warnings : none, fluff!

:★: a/n : huuhuu we BACK on the hsr grind ♡♡ i missed my faves from this franchisee ๑´ ³`)ﾉ

SAMPO

— About his Lover

☆☆ "My lover and I have been engaged for a while! Since day one, I would have never imagined that I would've fallen inlove for a customer of mine!"

— About Lover : History

☆☆ "Actually, (name) used to be a customer of mine from my old fake businesses! I.. chuckle admittedly betrayed them for the sake of money.. which wasn't exactly the smartest option, considering they were an undercover Silvermane guard.. but my charms were obviously irresistable hehe."

— Sampo's Troubles

☆☆ "I'm obviously greatful for everything (name) does for me, but I can tell that they're worried about losing their job if they keep bailing me out of jail.. I want to try a better lifestyle for them, you know?"

— Something To Share

☆☆ "(name) takes their job as a Silvermane guard very seriously, and my favorite thing is to flirt with them on duty and watch them melt. The best part is watching them try to hold themselves together with such a flustered expression."

— Interesting Things : Dates

☆☆ "Dates with (name) are very rare. Mostly because of our public statuses, and I can't really take them to a restaurant.. but one day I'll take them to the best restaurant in Belabog! I've been saving the funds for it since our first week of dating."

— Against his Lover

☆☆ "Hey! You haven't paid extra to betray you! I may be a scammer but not for you.."

DAN HENG

— About his Lover

☆☆ "(name) is so.. gentle with me. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to thank them for that. Many people think I hate being spoken to or even acknowledged, but they always have their full attention on me whenever I'm in the room.. it's admittedly very flustering.

— About Lover : Clingy

☆☆ "This is very embarassing to admit, but I really love whenever (name) clings onto me. Whether on my hand or just in general, I like it when they're around. It provides a sense of comfort that I can't seem to find with anyone else."

— Dan Heng's Troubles

☆☆ "I've been.. worried.. about our next trip to Xianzhou. I don't know why I'm so uneasy about (name) going with you guys but.. just.. take care of them, okay? Call me if anything happens."

— Something To Share

☆☆ "I have no idea how I ended up in a relationship in all honesty. One day I was on a mission with the new recruit, next I woke up next to the most amazing person in the galaxy. laugh I really am the luckiest man ever.."

— Interesting Things :

☆☆ "(name) usually does my eyeliner for me. It's always fun to chuckle at their focused expression as they sit on my lap and do whatever they do with those makeup supplies in hand. They're so cute.."

— Against his Lover

☆☆ "I put my spear down, and I refuse to dare harm the person I love with my whole heart.

[bbanghiitomi]

| randomantic

synopsis: showing love in the form of random ways, you love haerin and do things for her; haerin loves you and wants to know everything about you.

— idol!khaerin × 6thmember!fem!reader

(⁠=⁠｀⁠ェ⁠´⁠=⁠)(⁠=⁠｀⁠ェ⁠´⁠=⁠)(⁠=⁠｀⁠ェ⁠´⁠=⁠)(⁠=⁠｀⁠ェ⁠´⁠=⁠)

"do you want to share what's on your mind haerinie?" you asked, eyes darting at haerin's icy gaze then back to the table as you started opening the boxes of letters that have been sent to you by your fans. there's a lot, and you felt overwhelmed but happy at the same time. weird enough, haerin followed you around as you carried the box and just watched as you unbox it. haerin was standing across you, behind the table — doing nothing but staring at the envelopes on the table.

"you have a lot of letters, there's a lot of people who love you. y/n unnie." haerin stated, she walked around the table, before taking the space behind your seat, not choosing to sit across from you.

you nodded and smiled. "isn't that a good thing? i love being loved, it motivates me to give my best at our performances for tokkis to feel my love for them." haerin liked the way you speak your mind, your heart — it's the honesty that she sees in you, your transparency with your feelings.

haerin knows you love your fans, the people behind your success, your confidence, the ones who cheer for you when you're performing, the ones who show up to give their full support — you really appreciate them, scratch that — everyone knows that. you turn your head around back to the table, sorting out the letters.

haerin wants to get a taste of what you're thinking, although, haerin's intelligence is her pride — she's not that smart to be able to read through your mind, unless you say a word or indicate it through obvious actions. that's what frustrates her, because she wants to be ahead of the member when it comes to your love or your thoughts, even if it sounds toxic to compete for a member's attention.

haerin stood behind you and took deep breaths before reaching out for your shoulder and squeezing it lightly, you jumped at the sudden contact— but you stayed still. "can i help you with those?" she asked, you didn't look back at her but you huffed and nodded. "lend me a hand if you want haerinie, it's appreciated." you answered. haerin's body is stiff, her breathing is stable but her body is frozen.

haerin pulled her hand away and walked towards the table, she began opening letters but didn't take them out of the envelopes, instead she passed the open envelopes to your way and said: "read the letters and i'll open them for you." you looked at her with a confused expression but seeing as she didn't seem to care with the envelopes in her hands; you take one envelope from one of those she have opened and took the letter inside.

"should i read it out loud for you?" you asked, you see haerin's eyes squint, a faint blush on her cheeks, her ears suddenly red — she contorts her lips, which made her expression peculiar but you didn't seem to pay no mind, instead you grinned at her. "hmmm... you don't need to if you don't want." haerin has such amazing techniques to cover up a stuttering sentence, she takes her time to come up with words and hums, or pouts her lips before she continues.

you shook your head. "really? you don't want to hear?"

haerin loves your voice, she will always do, she can listen to you talk about your biggest aspirations, your dreams, your favorite things, the things you hate — you love, about newjeans or haerin, it matters to her what you have to say.

but she feared you might lose that precious voice of yours if she made you read all of those letters scattered on the table.

"no need to, i'd be fine just helping." haerin responded, you nodded and began reading.

haerin would stop, often. she would stare at your face as you read sentences written on the paper, she'd try to decipher your expressions — the twitching of the corners of your lips as you try not to smile, the way your eyes widens when you read something you like, the way your brows move when your heart melts, and the blush on your cheeks.

over the past few years you have known haerin, she can basically read your emotions, but it feels like everyone can do that already, you're so expressive one can know what you feel with just a simple look on your face. nothing compares to actually knowing exactly what you're thinking, just what you feel isn't enough; haerin wants to dive deeper.

upon reading your 15th letter, you kind of broke down into tears, haerin heard your sobs and looked down to see you wiping your tears.

others would think, must've been a hate message mixed with fans but haerin instinctively knew it was a heartfelt message.

she reached over to your hand and squeezed it gently, her soft hand on yours, she caressed the skin under hers. as you wiped your tears, you looked up at her and saw her blinking at you. you sniffled. "a-ah, haerinie did i bother you?" you asked, intertwining your fingers with hers. haerin blushed and looked away.

"no," she answered and took a deep breath and looked back at you again, this time she stretched her lips into a thin smile, her cheeks puffed up. you couldn't help but smile wider, your cheeks blooming a shade of pink — you couldn't help but look down in sudden embarrassment because of your fragile state displayed to a younger member.

"did you get a nice letter?" she asked, you nodded and laughed through the tears on your face. "very nice actually." haerin felt the warmth on her face, her whole body, she loves your smile so much, it's affecting her motor skills.

"hey, she said that — she's happy i'm your unnie, she is happy you are my haerinie. she said — she hopes, you will be my haerinie forever." you started, clutching the letter with the hand haerin isn't holding, you can see haerin's eyes blink, slowly. you don't know what that means, but minji once said that's cats' way of saying their i love you's.

you don't know whether it's the same for haerin, but if it was ever, you are happy to have her blink at you like that.

"i cried because, she thanked me for taking good care of you. she said, you really love me and she can tell how much you care for me. haerinie, you are very precious to me. to every tokkis too. i feel like i haven't been able to tell you yet but — you know i'll cry if i do right?" you looked at her and laughed, not being able to hold eye contact for more than five seconds, feeling your heart swell.

haerin tightened her hold on your hand, feeling her stomach twist around — so weird, she hated the feeling of her body doing shit around you.

haerin really wants to know your mind.

"you will cry, but i wish i was able to know that you feel that way." haerin spoke, she took a few steps forward, closing the gap between the two of you. you look up at haerin, she's able to hold her feelings in whenever she has to, it may seem like a bad thing — but it's really necessary with the way they live, it's hard to keep your guard down.

haerin is a very nice girl, she's kind but she has her own boundaries that she's able to withhold, unlike you; you have a hard time giving people "no" as an answer, you live a life of pleasing people — putting yourself behind others. haerin knows that, but it took minji and hanni to know first before she did, when you had a conversation with the two girls that haerin have heard.

you used to overthink, a lot — it's still the same today, but you try to lessen the pessimist behavior more often because you don't want the group to be dragged down. it takes 50 compliments to reassure you but it only takes 1 negative comment to tore it all down. you don't know why, you feel that way, think that way — you are a subject of criticism, whatever you say, do, wear, or think, there's something to people about that. everyone in newjeans are expected to be at their best. you didn't realize it's tearing you apart until you just found yourself in bed crying yourself to sleep.

haerin didn't know that, she couldn't see it through your eyes — it took a conversation with danielle for her to know.

you love your fans, you value hard work and friendship, you will never pull someone down for yourself, and you always give the best shot at everything. hyein knew that first before haerin did, it's 'cause hyein told haerin when they slept together at her room, hyein told haerin about how caring you are, nice and everything!

haerin regretted not being able to see you like that.

you love haerin, more than anyone knows — more than what you claim, you cook her breakfast, snack, dinner, even her popcorn — you love doing stuff for her, for everyone too but specifically for haerin. haerin doesn't do that much for you, but she thinks of you at night, worries about you, and takes notes of what people say about you. she's learned a lot, and still applies what she have learned over the course of being your co-member.

you may have your favorites, which is haerin — probably because you can give minji a plate of food with lots of carrots, a muffin that is slightly hard for hanni, a lollipop that doesn't have a stick to danielle and a "slightly" burnt egg for hyein.

but haerin will always get the better ones, you don't do it on purpose, when you think about it at least — and they don't seem to mind it that much, but it's just already in you — the need to give haerin what you think she likes, and deserves. it's automatic, one time you decided to make a cute sandwich, you get the thought that you should give it to haerin! minji asked for you to make her one too, and she got a slightly fucked up one, and that's not even on purpose.

everyone doesn't know about your love for haerin, they don't notice that, even with how many times you've fawned over how cute haerin is, how worried you are with her, when you volunteer to help her with her studies, fold her clothes for her, give her the best compliments! everyone guessed that that's just the way you are. but there's more to those things you do that is just not your typical way.

you thanked danielle when she peeled your oranges, but you hugged haerin when she sliced your apple.

and again, you don't do that on purpose — you love everyone but you just love haerin more that's why it's so natural.

haerin was proud of being able to do stuff for you, when she gave the last bite of her favorite snack to you. writing you a post-it notes during your exams to cheer you up. when she walks in on your room to give you a tomato frog snack she made, even if it's not even recognizable. she stares at you all the time, then wonders what you might be thinking about, after that she just brush you off when you ask her.

haerin loves you, she gets crazy jealous when you do the same for others — because she liked it the most when she's ahead of everyone for your love.

now, you stood up, facing haerin with an adorable smile on your face, your cheeks stained with salty tears and haerin opened her mouth to speak, then closed it when she couldn't find what word to say.

you still have her hand in yours, you rocked it slowly.

haerin knows you love her, you had to. there was no way she wouldn't know that, because this time she won't let anyone know that before her, she can't have someone else tell her that.

"you love me right? unnie?" haerin whispered, her voice is soothing, like how the wind blows on a windy day, making the trees rustle and make sounds that you like. you didn't know what that meant but yes, you do love haerin — so you nod.

"i don't think you get it." haerin added, you were looking down at haerin's frog slippers, worrying that looking at her eyes might ruin your friendship. you love haerin, more than one can imagine. you chuckled, it came out airy because you weren't sure what it's supposed to be for; what she said isn't even funny, nor ridiculous because yes, it's true.

"what does haerinie mean then?" you asked, playing with her fingers. haerin looked at your face, your eyelashes and your lips, then your nose and cheeks.

"you love me, more than anyone else. more than tokkis, minji unnie, hanni unnie, dani unnie and hyein. i know you love them too but you love me more right?" haerin asked, then there she goes again blinking her eyes. you giggled, darting your eyes around except haerin's. your throat felt dry.

"oh, how love? i don't think i still get—"

your cheeks are like fresh buns, soft and warm. haerin just stared at you, she then thinks you know what she meant but is hesitating whether to be honest or not. "you can always tell me." you see haerin puffing her chest up, then looks up, takes a deep breath again, even exaggeratingly exhaling with her brows furrowed. you found that funny, and laughed. "you're so cute." you told her as you laughed, putting another hand on your mouth.

haerin smiled. "you liked that?" you nodded, still laughing. "i loved that."

you finally met her eyes, the sharp gaze of her eyes— reminding you of felines. it's pretty really, she gives stares that sends chill to your spine then butterflies inside your stomach. haerin stared at yours and still said nothing, so you took it as a cue to say something.

"i do love you, that's why i care for you a lot. it's really hard to get a grasp of these feelings, but i think i love you, on a moderate amount. but then, it's not really what my heart feels, or what i show you. that's why i don't say much about it because i'm confused." haerin nodded, you suddenly felt her fingers pulling yours. "so you don't really love me a moderate amount?" haerin asked.

you bit your bottom lip, nodding. "yeah i guess."

"i can tell. don't you want to know if i love you too?" haerin tilted her head with a feigned confused expression. you look at her eyes, trying to find something inside those pair of orbs. haerin licks her lip, you dart your eyes away immediately.

"well, what do you want to say?" you asked. "don't tell anyone about this huh." haerin sighed and pushed strands of your hair behind your ear. you nodded. "i won't."

haerin hooks her arm on your torso, her other hand still holding yours. you let yourself be taken away by hers and she leaned her forehead with yours.

haerin has gotten taller, back before she was shorter than you, now she's the same height.

"i love you." haerin whispered, with her eyes closed, you look at her, your face flushed a deep shade of pink. you giggled. "oh, i'm glad you do." haerin sighed and shook her head.

"of course you are. you've loved me for a long time." she said, you couldn't help but laugh, because it's true. "uh-huh, my haerinie is so smart." haerin blushed but kept a calm face.

it was silent for a few minutes, then you placed another hand in haerin's shoulder. "i love you too." you whispered.

haerin was the first to know about the love you harbor for her, she was able to know even before you realized it yourself, without anyone telling her. she got you to confess your feelings and she couldn't be more happy about that. you're just happy to be there, for her; ready to peel oranges for her, make her sandwiches, fold more of her clothes, find the other pair of her socks.

you love your haerinie, you love her so much, even you can't measure it on your own — so much that it's hard for you to tell, and so much that there are no words in this world that can explain what you truly feel. maybe that's why no one except haerin has to understand, she's the only one who can truly tell how much you love her — it's funny, but you're happy she knows.

[gtgbabie0]

The hardest days

{Spencer makes even the hardest days seem a little bit more tolerable}

Hope you enjoy lovelies!! 💕

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You seem miles away staring off into space as you bite at the sides of your nails, an awful habit Spencer has been trying to get you to break. He watches you with worry in his eyes as your eyebrows furrow together, completely wrapped up in whatever troubles you in that mind of yours.

If you really think about it, it’s been building up for weeks, the stress. It eats at you until you’re completely exhausted, left with an ache that dulls you. You never see it coming until it hits you with full force, like today for example.

Everything just seemed ten times more complicated than it should have and in all honesty, you should’ve listened to Spencer when he told you to use one of your well-deserved vacation days, to take some time off.

He walks over to where you’re sitting on the sofa taking a seat next to you, and you don’t even look over at him, still much too distracted by whatever it was plaguing your mind. His chest tightens at the stress that seems to hang over you.

You feel the warmth from his hand as his fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling your hand away from your mouth. He brings your entwined hands to rest on his lap, his thumb smoothing over the bumps of your knuckles.

He smiles at you softly, noticing how the warm light of his floor lamp rests against your skin painting you in the most flattering light. You return the gesture although your smile is much more strained and he catches on to the tears that glisten as they build up in your tired eyes.

“What’s on your mind sweetheart?” He asks, tone so soft and caring that it has your heart clenching in your chest and it only makes you want to cry even more.

Your eyes flicker over to him and you catch onto the worry that seeps into his expression, “Are you mad at me?” You ask quietly and Spencer shuffles closer to you on the sofa.

His worry doubles, “Mad? Why would I be mad at you honey?” He wonders, wiping your tears away with the sleeve of his sweater, the material soft against your cheek.

“I ruined our date” Your eyes refuse to meet his and he watches as you play with the drawstring of your joggers, trying your best to bite back your tears.

He frowns at the sight. It’s not like you purposely woke up today and chose to feel this way, no this was something completely out of your control and you just couldn’t handle the thought of going out for dinner in a restaurant full of people, and you told him just that.

“Oh- no, I’m not mad at you,” he says, but it doesn’t help the guilt that pinches at your heart, because your mind is stubborn, no matter how sweet Spencer is, you still can’t help but think how you’ve ruined everything.

You shake your head with a sudden urgency, “I couldn’t do it Spencer- this week was just awful. I’m sorry I let you down” You don’t bother holding back the tears, the blocky feeling in the back of your throat all too prominent to try and hide.

Spencer fights the internal panic because you’re crying, no not just crying, sobbing and the sight has his chest constricting with pain. He says your name softly, “Hey, you didn’t let me down, you couldn’t, ever.” He tells you, and the love that bleeds into his tone fights off any doubt that plagues your mind.

He whispers a small ‘C’mere honey’ opening his arms out for you and it’s an offer you just couldn’t refuse. His arms encircle your shoulders as he holds you against him, his chin resting on top of your head as you cry into his sweater. His fingers tracing tiny patterns against your back in hopes that it might bring you comfort.

“We don’t have to go out to have date night, I don’t mind just staying here with you” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “As long as we’re together I really don’t mind” you pull back slightly wiping away your tears, and he leans to press another kiss to your forehead.

“But you seemed so excited” you whisper, the same guilt pinching at you once again and the feeling only makes you look away.

His slightly gun-calloused hand cups your face, “Of course I’m excited, I get to have dinner with you” he smiles, his thumb brushing along your jaw as you let out a teary giggle.

He holds you close to him, leaning back against the sofa. He presses one or two kisses to your face as you nuzzle against his shoulder, feeling a lot more at ease than you were a few minutes ago. In all honesty, you wouldn’t know what to do without him.

His hands soothe the expanse of your back as he guides you through calming you down into more steady breaths. He lays there with you in his arms for a good minute or two, peppering small kisses to your cheek and forehead every now and again. A comforting silence blankets you both, that is until his stomach grumbles in a protest of hunger which in turn makes you both look at each other with a giggle.

“We could cook together? I’m sure I have something” he says pushing your hair that frames your face and tucking it behind your ear, his fingertips grazing gently over your cheek as he does.

“Yeah, it could be fun” you smile sitting up slightly.

“Of course, it’d be fun, I’m there” You look over at him as he smirks at you, and the joy that brightens up your face makes his heart flutter a sight he’s glad to see again.

You both end up cooking up some pasta meal practically shoulder to shoulder and Spencer’s hands never once leave you, whether they’re resting on your hips or on the small of your back, he finds a way. And despite his distracting kisses and wandering hands the meal turns out to be quite delicious, and you realise Spencer was right, you two don’t have to go out to have date night, just as long as you were together.

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[blueberry-pride]

Referring to this~

OMG! I read the Q&A but IS IT TRUE? Im so excited 😳👉👈 Ummmm may i req then? Not for the event, but just a general req 😌 A scenario/hcs of Leona with fem!s/o where s/o needs comfort & gets spoiled cz she's having burnout due to all of the incidents on NRC~ I hope this is not too much, if u want to change the plot it's ok, thank u & have a nice day 😳✨

I See Right Through You...

Leona x FEM! S/O

warnings: leaning on to very angsty, cursing, personal issues

Berry: I'M FINALLY BACK AA-💀 just wrapped up some things and you should have some of the requests from the events roll around within the month or so 😣 I changed a bit of it but the overall theme is the same just something that hits a little too close to home ;=; Special Thanks to my lovely friends Len and Luna who helped me out with this one ❤️❤️

"This isn't me wanting some semblance of pity, You can keep it for all I care- I'm so goddamn tired but did I ever ask to be in Twisted Wonderland? Oh don't get me started..." "Did I ask to be Crowley's clean up crew? Did I ask to be in the middle of every. fucking. issue?"

"Sometimes I'd like to be the damsel-but sevens forbid the woman wanting to be saved from all the stupid stress of this world."

"Well I'm so sorry for complaining over a job I didn't ask for but hey- we're in a magical school full fun and dreams, cuz that's sure to make up for ALL the unnecessary emotional and physical labor!" Your voice cracked as you forced a cheery smile.

Leona wasn't expecting you to snap at him when he wanted to mess with you for just a little bit. He had observed you from afar for quite some time now. And most importantly, he wasn't a stranger to people putting up a face for other's sake.

His emerald gaze would glint over your figure as he studies the creases in your eyes from all the work you've been doing. He'd always wondered how much you could take, often times giving you snarky or witty advices in hopes to get you out of your doormat cycle.

He admitted what the Head-mage was doing is a bit too far. He was kinda impressed on how you pushed on with that fiery and stubborn heart of yours.

A sadistic part of him wanted to see when you'll break

He wanted to see you bite back

He anticipated it even more when multiple students come to you for help increased by the day;

You nodded along as Ace and Deuce were once again asking help in doing their chores back at Heartslabyul, you laughed it off as one of their usual antics.

You happily agreed when Kalim invited you to one of his many celebrations despite just finished with your cleanup at Ramshackle, your smile didn't reach you. Those glassy eyes of yours, shifting downwards to hide the reluctance.

It was an asshole move of him in all honesty.

Not lending out a helping a hand but he knew you were capable. For fuck's sake you got him AND his dorm to help you out during Azul's little "tantrum".

He wanted you to overcome this on your own. However, he had an oversight on how much you can take on the world alongside his bullshit attempt of support.

Leona had happened to pass by a class with the door wide open, his lions ears perked at the ongoing conversation.

"Phyn, you're in our group." One student spoke up. "Oh hell yeah, thanks dude!" Another cheered, followed by the sound of a high-five.

"-And I guess that's everyone.. Oh (Y/N)..hmm I guess you and Grim would be a duo, every other's group is already filled up." "Uh.." You chuckled with a loppy smile. "No worries, at least I get to stay in my dorm this time." The class chuckled at your comment and nodded along. As the groups filed out chatting amongst each other, he took lighter steps walking closely behind you.

It wasn't until you reached the entrance of Ramshackle is when you finally noticed him. Which led to the situation right now. "Why the long face herbivore, where's the can-do attitude I know and adore~?"

Your hands balled into fists, shaking as tears were running down your eyes.

"This isn't me wanting some semblance of pity, You can keep it for all I care- I'm so goddamn tired but did I ever ask to be in Twisted Wonderland? Oh don't get me started..." "Did I ask to be Crowley's clean up crew? Did I ask to be in the middle of every. fucking. issue?"

'Shit...' He said mentally.

"Let's...do this inside. We don't want anyone gawking at ya like this." He laid a hand behind your back inside and joined you not before he scanned the area for any curious on-lookers.

He leaned against the side of the wall of the living room, listening to your continued rant. Throwing hands and even had the strength to throw away the innocent coffee table in the middle, Its legs breaking into splinters as soon as it hit impact onto the cold hard floor. "-WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME WHO HAS TO FIX THINGS?" You exclaimed towards the pillow you threw towards the ground.

"Helping fix things is nice and all.." You sniffled. "But is it really so wrong to want that shit in return?"

He knew it was bad but he wanted to see how far you're flames would burn him. He wanted it to hurt-what you've been going through, he knows he can take it.

"You're ranting to the wrong person, go off on Crowley, yell at your classmates for ignoring ya. Tell that red-head and blue-haired friend of yours to fuck off and do their own stupid chores." "Be fucking selfish for once herbivore, Treat yourself to a nice nap-"

"-Oh what? like you? I'm not you Leona." You retorted back. "For fuck sakes you were born here-you were supposed to exist in this plane of existence while I got chucked out of mine." "You say I exist here but I'm one of the least wanted given my 'cheery' attitude. At the very least I know when to stand my guard." You huffed as you sat on the couch, tears still spilling from your eyes. "Is this your way of helping me? because I could clearly feel the love right now..." Leona let out a dry chuckle as he walked over to you. His imposing figure casts a shadow over you but as you gaze at his eyes, there was a lingering feeling of warmth. "Dont be like me." He shook his head. "Sevens, I hope you don't end up like me, but what I'm trying to say is..." His voiced trailed as he looked at your shaking form.

A memory sliced through him for a second. For a brief moment he saw his little self all those years ago in the visage of you. "In a campus full of these jackasses in NRC-including myself sometimes, I... I see right through you." He awkwardly patted your back. "I know it sucks but don't do that shit to yourself where you thought 'hey, I know who to look for if I'm in a room full of folks I adore, but who would look for me?'" Leona had a distant look as he stared at the broken table in the middle of the dorm. "Look for yourself first, look for that little corner of your room to be selfish with what you want to do. Worry about the details later." You cleared your throat as you steal a soft glance at him "You may not be the best and most unlikely to look for advice." The air seemed to change as the both of you share a soft laugh. "But you get right to the point...even though you could've done something much earlier." "What's the fun in that?" He raised an eyebrow. "Besides, You don't need a king's help in chess, a queen...has all the moves she needs."

Leona was surprised to hear your melodic laughter, belting out through your still falling tears at his small comment. "Oh my God Leona you did not just-" You wiped a tear as you smiled at him. He felt a flutter in his chest from the way you're looking at him now. "Well you did just say, I'm not the best." He smirked.

The tense feeling in his shoulder now dissipated as he settled himself on the couch strangely close to you, a tiny voice inside him wondered why. Seeing you smile even though you just murdered the poor coffee table not too long ago is a sign to him he did his job.

It's certainly weird but it's you. People may not look for you or choose you in a room full other characters from their lives, but you can trust that there's always a lion beastman just out in hallway, willing to stand with you through it all.

[astarion-obsessions]

Spoilers for Astarion romance, act 2

I finally got to the Hug Scene with Astarion a few days ago, and it wasn't what I was expecting. I thought the choice to hug him would come without a second thought, but in all honesty... I wanted to do and say all of the possible choices. I mean, look at them!

He just poured his heart out, was honest with us like never before and then all Tav manages to respond is "I care about you" and a hug to prove it to Astarion? My Tav is a bard with 17 charisma, godsdammit. She would have had all the words to convince him of how she truly cares about him, even though he just wanted to use her initially.

All of the options alone just didn't feel like they're enough. Just hug him and say nothing at all? Only spending a bit physical comfort and that's it? Or just insist that he's important to you while keeping an arms length distance? Or even better, don't react to his insecurity about your feelings towards him at all and just ask him a question in return?

... Timing, Tav, timing. *sigh*

I would have wished for another option of dialogue while hugging him. Imagine.

Astarion waits for your reaction, most probably thinking you don't truly care. You take a step closer, he is instantly defensive, shying away from you.

But you're determined to show him - with physical and verbal affection - what he means to you. You dare to ignore his defensive gesture, finally pulling him into a warm hug. You feel that he is overwhelmed by your reaction, but you give him all the time he needs to understand what is happening.

After a few long moments he finally has it in him to return the hug hesitantly. His grip tightens around you, as if he's in desperate need of convincing himself that this is real.

He buries his face in the crook of your neck, then you mumble: "You are worth a great deal to me, no matter what you are going through, Astarion." You press him harder to your chest to emphasise your words. "I'm not interested in doing things you don't want to. We can be together without sleeping together, for as long as you need. And on the way we can figure out what it is that you really want. Together."

Now that's what I wished for. It's just a mix of the existing options, but the words hold so much more meaning when said during a heartfelt hug and vice versa, instead of letting all of this stand on its own rather awkwardly.

And his reaction afterwards is just too cute to bear.

"You... You are full of surprises, aren't you?"

He looks so relieved over our reaction...

"Honestly, I have no idea what we're doing. Or what comes next."

... that this is the first time I recall seeing him express such an almost boyish excitement, which makes him seem like a giggly teenager, who just got his first girl-/boyfriend. I mean, we're probably the first soul in two fucking centuries to be genuinely kind to him. I can't even imagine what that must have been like. Of course he would be unwilling to just believe us that we care as if it were nothing. Because this is everything to him. Of course he would be all excited about his first friend and maybe even serious love interest in 200 years.

Then he slowly extends his hand, inviting us to reciprocate the gesture. And this is such a drastically different approach to physical intimacy than whatever we had before this. Until then he'd throw around sickly sweet lines of shallow desire and present himself as sex object who just wants to have a little fun. Whereas this moment is so slow paced, tender and heavy with cautious hopefulness. And it shows that he still likes touching and being touched, yet in a completely different manner now.

"But I know that this?..."

Then he gives us this serious, almost pained look when he dares to talk about this. For me this is the expression of someone who fights to accept the thought that someone actually and truthfully cares about them. He dares to show this vulnerable side of him despite being utterly afraid of rejection. He dares to believe that this is real and he truly wants to make this work.

"... This is nice"

And finally his expression relaxes. He smiles so genuinely, so hopefully. This man deserves all the nice things in the world, especially after all he's been through. It's so beautiful to see that he doesn't abandon the unwanted feelings for Tav, but instead chooses to take the risk, to be honest with himself and Tav, and just try to learn to trust again. All of this takes so much bravery to just overcome his insecurities about this new and intimidating situation.

I recall what it was like when I was a teenager with my first crushes and then even deeper feelings for a friend of mine, who I never confessed to. It was hella intimidating for me, and suffice to say that my situation didn't compare to what Astarion was going through to any extent. I really can't grasp the entirety of overcoming this hurdle this must have taken in Astarion's case. I'm so proud of him.

I just love everything about this.

Except for my limited options to react to him ingame of course, but that's what fanfictions are for, I guess, lol.

[junicult]

I love how you write harvey sm!!! You had me swooning with every words !! So sweet, short, and straight to the point but very flavorful and entertaining! i'm so happy i came across your blog !

I have a prompt that u can feel free to use!

What do you think Harvey is like when he & the farmer just got married? For example, is he very timid that he couldn't sleep when next to the farmer? Is he very hesitant to hold them? Or other things u think/headcanon? Would love to read your thoughts! Thank you so much for your time !!<3

!! harvey as your new husband

contains ; domestic fluff. another post of me rambling lol. entirely sfw! gn!farmer / gender is never implied. short drabble.

note ; i’m in a harvey brainrot rn that every time i try to sit down to write for the other bachelors, i just end up staring at my screen doing nothing 😓

when you were only dating, it wasn’t rare for harvey to come over while you were working after he found some time of his own.

even once, after you invited him over and sighed about how dirty you felt the cottage was since you hardly had time to clean—he became accustomed to do so just for you.

bringing over his own cleaning supplies just to sweep the dust, help with laundry, clean your kitchen and make dinner for you.

and he didn’t even mind doing all of it, just to help you lift the weight of your chores.

so after that one time, and you came home to see a squeaky clean home, and your excellent boyfriend after a particularly exhausting day—you could’ve cried.

not to mention, he goes the great mile. those large yellow gloves over his hands, non-slip shoes and a hardware apron over his clothes so he wouldn’t get himself dirty.

some may say it’s a bit dramatic, but he says prepared.

anyways, it became a routine he was fond of doing.

harvey came over a lot. to the point where his own house didn’t really feel like home anymore.

he hated those nights when he couldn’t come over, forced to sleep in his own bed without you by his side. it would take him longer to fall asleep if he couldn’t feel you next to him. he probably had to hug a pillow just to feel something lol.

so when you got married, it’s safe to say he was ecstatic to be moving out of his lonely apartment. especially when you made time to come help him, packing stuff in boxes.

it really made him realize how life changing it is. to see you labeling each box, sorting through his cds and tapes while talking about your future together.

“i think these would look nice in our living room, i could move my bookshelf over and we could squeeze this in…” you ramble on, face full of concentration.

it made his heart gush, even just hearing you call it our living room.

when you’d “ooo” and “aaa” at items of his you looked forward to decorating the house with, and “uhh” at the ones you didn’t. he couldn’t possibly be upset, if anything, he’d laugh at your honesty. there’s nothing that’d make him upset right now.

so when you were finally married, you had to work but he spent the majority of the day squeezing his stuff into the house like you both planned, it still felt right.

you didn’t have to be beside him, helping him unbox for him to be happy. he found everything seemed to fit in place.

settling in didn’t feel as much of a task as you both thought it’d be. there was always a cloud of sadness when he’d have to leave, so finally that experience was tarnished after the knot was tied.

there’s no leaving anymore, because he always comes right back.

at this point, his nerves being around you were fizzled, but of course he still got butterflies when he’d see you.

any moment he was intimate with you still made him feel much younger with the way his heart would pound and his palms would grow sweaty. even if you were just leaning in to kiss him.

so the first night you two were living together as a married couple—i don’t think he’d be so nervous.

or at least, not nervous in a bad way.

“which side of the bed should i sleep on?”

“harvey, we’ve slept together before. this isn’t new.” you tease.

“well we’ve never slept together as a married couple who lives in the same house. this is the start to the rest of our lives, i want to make sure we’re making the right decision,” and after he realizes what he implied, he’s widening his eyes and shaking his head, “no! not like that! as in, what if i sleep on the right side, but i sleep on my right side so my back is always turned to you—“

“harvey, honey…i’m not going to be mad at you if i wake up and you’re not facing me.” you giggle.

he really knows how to overthink everything.

but once you’re finally tucked in bed together (you on the right, him on the left) i don’t think he’ll overthink at this point.

by now, you’re both so in love that he doesn’t second guess reaching over to hold you anymore. he doesn’t need to rethink all of that.

when you latch onto him, pressing your face into his chest and wrapping your arms around him—he’s bound to get butterflies. you may even hear his heart beat a little quicker. but he’s not shy to give you the same treatment.

if he could, he’d hold you all day. he never wants to let go.

[pomefioredove]

Omg pls listen to my brainrot, wrote a 13 page paper and all i can think about are disney prince situations for our boys!!! Imagine any of the characters (mainly grumpy ones like Jamil, Leona, and Vil) in the place of Eugene from tangled. From unwilling to be around y/n to being impressed to falling in love and willing to honestly die if it meant she wouldn't have to sacrifice her happiness ( the hair cutting scene).

Maybe for Vil it was something like you both being paired for a movie role and it goes from professional (but he's unhappy) to unknowingly liking your company and being impressed by your acting or effort to full on in love after you praise him both professionally (as an actor and capturing emotions of characters) and personally (his effort in both acting and his looks plus his intelligence). Maybe a scandal breaks out and the readers career is being ruined for "seducing" Vil and he decides that instead he will take a career damage instead by coming out and stating that's incorrect.

Honesty Jamil's whole life is sacrifice and babysitting. He'll probably hate any new responsibilities, but imagine how much he becomes attached ones he loves someone and once someone actually appreciates him and sees him for more than just Kalim's shadow. I can easily imagine how he'll readily sacrifice himself for those he loves, after all it seems that sacrifice is what he does best. So it's probably second nature to give his happiness up if it meant you will be happy. (Something like Aladdin) he falls in love with someone so out of his reach. Maybe a close friend of Kalim or someone of that nature. they end up secret lovers. someone that is more socially acceptable goes to court the reader she ends up in an unwanted engagement. Jamil knows that he can't provide her with any of the riches her fiancee can so he becomes the bad guy. breaks her heart so she can eventually be happy.

Or maybe you have someone like Leona who at first only sees you as a nuisance but sees you're brave, sweet, and witty and eventually falls in love. I feel like the tangled movie works, but I think the princess and the frog works better. You've heard of Leona, know he's good looking, rich, and is a prince. He's never heard of you. You both end up in a sticky situation where your only allies are eachother and slowly grow to trust eachother. Maybe your certain this curse your both under a will break from a kiss from your bf, but instead nothing happens. And in the last minute before the curse is permanent he admits that though in the beginning you were a pain in the ass he's actually glad he met you and isn't all that upset about the trouble you brought him into/or he sounds genuinely sorry for sweeping you up in his issues. Either way, after that some heart felt confessions and the curse is broken.

Thanks for listening to me ramble 💋

OMG GIGGLING????? I LOVE prince scenarios 2uh3geuudje

can we PLEASE give jamil a happy ending;; give him the aladdin treatment and grant him 3 wishes. he is literally a diamond in the rough actually. TO ME

also leona as naveen makes SO much narrative sense, ""lazy"" rich boys with big family beef who would leave it all behind for someone they love. hoohhhh god I can see the light

[inkedobsidian]

~ It doesn't mean shit S.R ~

summary: While on a case an officer hits on you, even though you're with Spencer.

pairing: Spencer ReidxReader

warnings: creepy men ofc

word count: 793

a/n: Requests are open! Prompt list is there if you guys want extra ideas!

Master-List - Prompts

The doors to the disgustingly damp police department open and the whole team steps inside trying to ignore the sweat building up in places they don't appreciate. They were guided into an open room full of blank boards and a water machine. As Y/N walked over to the machine she could feel her trousers slowly start to itch at her thighs. As she grabbed a plastic cup she felt someone stood behind her, spinning around and coming face to Spencer she smiles and offers him her cup.

"Hey sweetie, how you feeling?" Spencer says taking a sip of the water he was just handed. Y/N wipes the back of her neck with her hand and cringes as she feels the disgusting amount of sweat that has built up.

"I'd be better if this room was cooler in all honesty. I feel like I'm dying is there no AC or anything here." Y/N pouts as she takes another sip of her water trying to cool down. Scanning around the room to find only her team Y/N tries to find the sheriff, once again having no luck.

"I think we'd all work better if the AC was on, just go ask one of the deputies it will be okay." Spencer kisses Y/N on the forehead as she walks out the door towards one of the deputies, as she taps them on the shoulder trying to attract his attention. As the deputy spins around he smirks as he sees Y/N stood in front of him.

"What can I do for you, pretty lady?" The deputy asks still smirking.

"I was just wondering if you guys had any AC in the room the rest of my team are in. If not do you guys have any fans?" Attempting to be polite to the creepy deputy was hard but Y/N had to be professional and she was going to start ugly sweating soon.

"Our AC is broken right now if you couldn't tell but I mean I could take you out for a drink if you would like." As the deputy placed his hand on Y/N's lower back she took a step away and politely smiled at the deputy.

"Actually I'm spoken for sorry, thanks for your help." She says pointing at Spencer and smiling at the goofy genius who is currently attempting to find a working pen, with not much luck. As he spots Y/N looking at him and he smiles and waves.

"Seriously the nerd got you? You are way out of his league." Spencer hears the deputy and frowns and as Y/N turns back to face the deputy she gives him the stare from hell. Y/N bites her tongue to stop her from saying something she probably should, it doesn't work too well.

"It is none of your concern who 'got me' deputy. Your office may have requested my team here to help with an investigation you have failed to solve, but I imagine your Sherriff would take great interest to know how his deputy talks to the agents here to help. What do you think?" As Y/N stares more and more at the deputy she could see him falling into himself more and more out of embarrassment.

As she turns around she sees Spencer has dissipated but she can see all the team looking at her and the, now very uncomfortable, deputy. As Y/N walks off to try and find Spencer she sees Aaron start to walk towards the deputy. Spencer stood in the corner of the room looking out the window not hearing Y/N enter the room.

"Spence?" Y/N says trying not to freak him out by her sudden presence.

"He's right though, you're perfect and I'm just nerdy Dr. Spencer Reid," Refusing to turn around Spencer keeps staring out the window. Y/N walks towards the broken boy stood in front of her. Someone she loved with all her heart no matter what. "I've heard plenty of people say I don't deserve you and you could do better."

"I don't care what they said, it doesn't mean shit! You are the love of my life Spencer nobody else. Excuse my language but screw what anyone else thinks. You can't see you how I do, frankly, nobody else matters to me. If I wanted them I'd leave you. I'm still stood here saying I love you. Now actually look at me!"

As soon as Spencer turned around Y/N grabbed his face and attached her lips to his. As if in slow motion Spencer let out a massive breath and let himself relax into the arms of the woman he loved. All they needed was each-other and together in perfect harmony, they were reminded of how powerful love and how much they love each other.

[seaoflove07]

Love Planted a Rose 🌹

~ Dark ~

• Artwork by The Drawables •

Full Art Cover and Story Description, Here.

OCXCanon. 🔪 Azusa & Christine’s Story. 🌹

Fan Fiction Written by Me.

Fandom: Diabolik Lovers.

Masterpost.

Christine was sitting in the bathtub with her arms wrapped around her legs. She was lost in her thoughts thinking of what happened last night with Azusa. All the things he told her. To him, pain makes him feel wanted and needed. What has this world done to him? To make him think this way. It's sad. Her mind is telling her to stay away from him, but she can't understand why her heart is aching for him. She wants to get to know him, to understand him. Even though she's very aware that's gonna cost her lots of pain. She wants to know his past, and she also wants to know how long has he been living in this world. So many questions she would love to ask him. But she knows he won't answer to any. She already tried, but he made it clear that his past doesn’t concern her. Yet he wants to know everything about her.

She touches her lips, Thinking about the way he kissed her with so much desperation.

Christine: (I haven’t kissed another man since Mark. I didn't think I would ever need that kiss, but I did, desperately like Azusa. His lips, his tongue, and his rough touches. They all felt good, even though my head was spinning and I struggled to catch up to him since I was very lightheaded. The way he got anxious when he thought I had a boyfriend back home. I'm starting to feel these butterflies in my stomach again. Why am I feeling this way? I can't let him get into my heart, I just can't. A human broke my heart to pieces, I can't imagine how much worse it will be with a vampire. It's already madness right now. Azusa is very scary at times, he almost killed me. All the physical pain Azusa has caused me and I haven’t been here long. I can’t imagine how it would be for the rest of the summer. My lips are swollen from that kiss, not just my lips, but my whole body hurts and I have so many bite marks and cuts from his knife...)

*Knock, Knock*

Azusa: “Rose-san… I'm coming in…”

Christine: “Azusa! I'm still in the bathtub, please get out.”

Azusa: “There’s so many bubbles in the bathtub… I can't see your body… So don't worry…”

Christine: “… Do you need something?”

Azusa: “Ruki told me... to give you… this medicine… he said… it will help you… feel better… here… I also brought you… water…”

- She drinks the medication -

Christine: “Thank you.”

Azusa: … …

Christine: “What's the matter?”

Azusa: “I can't stop… thinking about you… even when… I’m with my brothers… or when I'm alone… or cutting myself... or polishing my knives… and when I’m talking to Justin… your pretty face… always comes to my mind…”

Christine: !!!

(I can feel my cheeks flushed...)

“I-I have been thinking about you a lot too. I want to get to know you, Azusa.”

Azusa: “Eh…!? Really, Rose…?”

He moves closer to her and sits at the edge of the bathtub, neither say anything. Azusa caresses her cheek and stares deeply at her brown eyes.

Ruki: “Hmph, Azusa. I told you to only give her the medication and to come back quickly. Stop touching her and take your leave. You're already running late on the task that I asked you to do earlier.”

Azusa: “I’m sorry… I’ll go right now… I'll see you later… Rose…”

He gave her a cute smile and leaves the bathroom.

Ruki: “Livestock, hurry up with your bath and meet me at the library. I would like to discuss something with you.”

Christine: “Okay, I'll be out in a minute.”

*TimeSkip*

- At the Library -

Christine: “I'm here, Ruki.”

Ruki: “Good, you didn’t make me wait long. Take a seat.”

… …

“Livestock, you are going to be living in this manor all summer and I expect honesty. Tell me what you really are? And you better not lie to me.”

Christine: (His question took me by surprise…)

“What do you mean?”

He slams his fist on the table.

Ruki: “Dammit, Livestock. Don't play dumb with me! I had my familiar follow you. He said when you were at our swimming pool there was a blonde woman with a white dress inside the pool near you but disappeared quickly. Were you doing black magic? Are you a witch?”

Christine: !!

(So I'm not crazy and I didn't imagine it! I did see a reflection of myself under the pool…)

“I’m not lying and I'm not a witch! But I did see myself inside the pool last night and it scared me. When I started to scream underwater, Azusa got me out of the pool. I asked him if he saw anyone inside the pool but he said no. This has never happened to me before.”

Ruki: “I see. Thinking about it a Witch wouldn't have a similar blood scent to Eve. Did the figure say anything to you?”

Christine: “Yes… She said, “Soon, you will be me.”

“I-I don't understand the meaning of this. She did look exactly like me but when she gave me a sinister look it seemed inhuman.”

(Chills run down her spine just thinking about it…)

Ruki: “Whatever that thing was is probably your true form. Are you sure you don't know what that form is? Does your family have a history of mystical creatures?”

Christine: “What!? Of course not. We are all just humans and I don't possess any strength or magical powers. Ruki, please if you know anything about why I was sent here please tell me.”

Ruki: “That's information I want to know as well. None of us know why you were truly sent here, not even the Sakamakis. Your blood sent is similar to Eve's but I don't think this is about another sacrificial bride. You are valuable to that man. He has made it clear in reminder letters that he will kill anyone if they kill you, and this pool incident it's not a coincidence. I will still try my investigation to see what he really wants with you. If you experience another similar situation like this again I need you to tell me immediately, I am clear, Livestock?”

Christine: “What's the point in telling you if you are gonna have your familiars follow me anyways?”

Ruki: “Dammit, Livestock! You sure don't know how to shut your mouth and agree nicely like a good girl.”

Christine: “Because I am not a girl, I’m a woman!”

Ruki stands up and grabs her wrists pulling her up.

Ruki: “A woman you say? So you don't mind me being this close to you.”

He smirks.

Christine: “What the hell are you doing? Let go of me.”

Ruki: “Living in this manor, I don't care if it's temporary. You still are gonna follow my rules and I expect you to agree nicely with respect. I shall have no mercy next time you run your mouth. Understood?”

Christine: “Yes.”

(I'm trying to control my anger right now. I truly want to tell him to Fuck off!…)

Ruki: “Good, There is something else I want to ask you.”

He removes his hands from her wrists and steps back a bit.

“Are you seducing my younger brother?”

Christine: “Of course not! He's only after my blood and nothing else.”

Ruki: “Not true. You have him hypnotized. He’s never acted this way for a Livestock before. Have you hit and harmed him?”

Christine: “Not because I want to. Most of the time, he forces me to hurt him, and on some occasions I have, but it was for self-defense.”

Ruki: “Ha… I see. What are your thoughts on him?”

Christine: “I have mixed feelings for him… Sometimes, I'm afraid of him, wondering what he will do next. But other times, I kinda like his company. He does hurt me a lot but on some occasions, he's very sweet to me. I don't understand his full logic when it comes to pain. But to be honest, I want to get to know him and maybe become friends with him.”

Ruki: “Friends? Livestock, you really are foolish. Azusa won't settle for only friendship.”

Christine: “What do you mean?…”

Ruki: “Why don't you use that brain of yours? You truly are an airhead.”

Christine: … …

Ruki: I do find it interesting how obsessed Azusa is with you. Your blood probably is tasty to him but... There’s something more, I can feel it in your Aura. Azusa has been through a lot over the years and I worry to see my brother break because of you.”

Christine: ... ...

“Ruki... can you please tell me about Azusa’s past? I truly don’t want to hurt him. I want to get to know him and to help him. But for me to be able to help him I need to understand him. Please Ruki! Can you please tell me what caused him to self-harm?”

Ruki: “Why don’t you ask him this question yourself?”

Christine: “I did, but he told me it doesn't concern me. I just want to understand why he acts like this.”

Ruki: “Haah... Fine. I will tell you just this once. Azusa has never opened up too much about himself to us either. Even I have never fully understood how his brain works. From what I know, it has something to do with those kids from his childhood. Their names are Justin, Christina, and Melissa.”

Christine: (The names of his scars!…)

“He introduced his scars to me and they had those names.”

He nods.

Ruki: “He believes those three are his friends and will not let anyone treat his wounds so they do not disappear. From what he told us, those kids used to beat him up for fun daily until he started enjoying it and thought he was being useful to them. They then left him alone, thinking he was some kind of a weird kid. Those kids, later on, got killed because they were caught shoplifting. Seeing them dead traumatized him.”

Christine: “B-But Where were your parents? And he’s your younger brother, why did you guys allow this to happen? Why you guys didn’t help him? While he was getting bullied.”

Ruki: “Azusa since childhood he was wandering around in the streets. His parents abandoned him. We are not blood brothers. After the death of Justin, Christina, and Melissa. Azusa was sent to the orphanage and that’s where we all met. Kou and Yuma too. Ever since then, we became brothers.”

... ...

“That will be all the information that I will tell you. You are even lucky that I even told you this much.”

Christine: (My heart hurts for Azusa and for the brothers. Even though Ruki didn't mention the full story, by them meeting each other at the orphanage they all probably had a bad childhood...)

“I appreciate you telling me this. I won't bother you anymore. I'll be taking my leave now and will start my shift.”

Ruki: “Wait, Livestock. I am not done talking to you. Tomorrow, Kou will be the one to accompany you to the Sakamakis. I have other matters to take care of. Don’t be dumb and behave around the brothers and try not to get yourself killed this time.”

Christine: “Okay… I will watch my back.”

Ruki: “That will be all, you may take your leave and start your shift.”

*TimeSkip*

After Christine completed her work shift she took another bath and finished brushing her long blonde hair, lastly, she sprayed herself with her favorite perfume, Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel. She loves the perfume so much that she wears it all the time even before bedtime. She couldn’t stop thinking about Azusa. She feels so sad for him and her chest keeps hurting every time she thinks about what Ruki told her. Azusa truly must have felt so lonely to the point he wanted to be useful to his bullies who were beating him up all the time. Now she understands why he asks her to give him pain. Christine felt tears running down her cheeks. The fact that he also was abandoned in the streets by his parents. How cruel and sad! He must have been scared, cold, and hungry. More tears keep coming out of Christine’s eyes. She grabbed a tissue to clean her face and tried to calm down. She needed to occupy her mind so she decided to read her favorite novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. Christine has lost count of the number of times she has read this story. She needed to distract herself and take Azusa off her mind. She went to grab the book and flinched when she heard a knock on her door.

Christine: “Who is it?”

… …

(Whoever it is they are not responding…)

She moved closer and hesitated to open the door.

“Is someone there?”

(She can hear someone chatter through the door…)

- She opens the door -

Christine: “Azusa! Did something happen?”

(He's shaking and sweating. He looks really sad…)

She cupped his cheeks.

Azusa: “Rose-san… can I sleep in your bed… I don't want to be alone… right now…”

She nods.

Christine: “Come in… Can I get you water? I can go grab it really quick in the kitchen.”

Azusa: “No… just lay down next to me… please... don’t leave me... alone...”

Christine: (He looks so anxious! I’m so worried about him right now…)

She takes his hand and leads him to her bed.

“Lay down, Azusa… I promise I'll stay by your side.”

- They both lay down on the bed, staring at each other -

Christine: “What happened…?”

Azusa: … …

“I had a nightmare… and when I woke up… I needed to see you…”

Christine: “What was the nightmare about?”

Azusa: … …

“I already forgot…”

Christine: “What!? How is that possible?”

Azusa: “I already said… I have forgotten about it… so you don't need to worry…”

Christine: … …

(He has tears in his eyes, she knows he's lying…)

“Azusa… I won’t force you to tell me. But… I want to let you know… that I'll listen to you if you ever want to talk about anything that's on your mind. I'll be here for you. You're not alone…”

- She cups his cheek -

• Artwork by @yuma-mukami-garden-god •

Azusa: !!

“Rose…”

(Her beautiful smile and gentle touch warms my heart. Her hand is so soft, like rose petals from the garden....)

“I’m feeling calmer now… that I'm here with you…”

- He places his hand on top of hers and smells her wrist -

“Your flowery scent… is also calming to me… I’m glad… you came into my life… Rose…”

Christine: “Really?”

He nods.

Azusa: “Can I … suck your blood…? I’m thirsty… from all the sweating…”

Christine: (If my blood will calm him and make him feel better than he can have it…)

“Yes, Azusa… Go ahead.”

She closes her eyes, waiting for the strike of pain.

Azusa: “Look at me…”

He sinks his fangs into her wrist.

*Slurp*

Christine: “Azu…”

Azusa: “Ah… so sweet… and… I love that look… on your face… I'll bite you more…”

*Gulp*

Christine: “Azu… doesn't my perfume bother you? I feel like the taste of a perfume won't be pleasing.”

- He licks the bite mark -

Azusa: “It tastes delicious… your floral scent… mixed with the scent of your blood… is heavenly addicting…”

He planted a kiss on her wrist.

Azusa: “I like that you are calling me… “Azu…” hehe… Keep calling me that, okay…? Now let me hold you tight…”

- He embraced her -

“The warmth of your body… feels nice… it takes all my worries away….”

Christine: (I can feel both our hearts pounding with his tight embrace…)

“I’m glad you feel that way Azu. I hope you have a sweet dream this time.”

Azusa: … Zzz… Zzz…

Christine: (He fell asleep immediately. Azusa’s temperature is so cold but I don't dislike it. His scent is nice too. His scent is a mix of fruity black tea with hints of florals. I should move and give us space but the truth is… I want to be locked in his arms, it feels nice. His expression looks peaceful now. I truly hope he has a better dream this time…)

She runs her fingers through his dark greenish hair.

(If Helping him by doing these things for him, I hope he can trust me one day and open up to me…)

Christine: “I hope… you let me cure your scars, Azusa.”

She buries her face on his chest and closes her eyes.

- TO BE CONTINUED -

• Artwork by MonMonArtz •

[iridescentdove]

Hey hey!! Can I request a Nikolai and fyodor (separate) x reader who’s really into photography and takes a lot of photos of them! Then gets super embarrassed if they catch them?

Nikolai & Fyodor x Photographer! Reader

The serene sound of a camera clicking as you relish in the peaceful autumn breeze. It was quiet, and calm – just as you always liked it. The scene was beautiful.

There was nothing better than you, your beloved, and your precious camera as you took photos under the warm sun.

NIKOLAI GOGOL:

For quite a while now, Nikolai has been seeing you with your precious phone or camera all the time. He hasn't seen you without it nowadays.

Well, it sparked his curiosity – but he did know you had a knack for these kind of things now.

And honestly, he really likes your shots! It's always taken beautifully and the photo is clear as day. Most of the time you don't really show him, but special occassions you do.

You took a little photo of a bird eating once!

Nikolai was ecstatic when looking through them. There's a small sparkle in his eyes no one would have ever seen.

The fluffy, rare white birdies that flock around as you fed them. He loves it. Jing Yuan??

One day, you both decided to have a picnic. Just for fun, and to value the precious time you guys had while still free. Lots of snacks and ice cream!

Of course, pictures. You took lots of them. From the birds in the sky to the food you had made yourself.

Although they were beautiful, nothing compares to Nikolai.

The soft, golden glow around his body – the sun making his features similar to that of an angels. Oh! How handsome he is. The genuine, warm smile on his face blooming in joy.

You were at a loss for words. He was just too pretty to be true. All you could do...was raise your camera.

Well, you did try to be sneaky. Try.

Seeing him staring at the vast blue of the sky was a perfect angle in all honesty. But he looked the moment you took it.

And i now present to you, a teasing Nikolai.

He is downright DISRESPECTFUL when it comes to being a teasing, pretty boy of a lad like him. He stares at you with a glint of his green eyes, and you were dead right then since.

"Oh! Does my sweet birdy find me a photograph-worthy sight? Hm~?" He inches closer, face full of mischief.

You're just...flaming red. He's not even flirting man, that's overrated. Dazai crying in the corner

Although he does pester you to show him the glorious photo, you do so either way. And both of you enjoy looking at them all, smiles on your faces.

Since irl he's inspired by a writer, i headcanon he points to each photo and creates a small little story for it <3 cute!

And for the meme worthy photos...

Let's just say both of your stomachs hurt for laughing so much at his jokes. Uses random Gen Z humor he learned

"The bird shat respectfully. The manz was too stunned to speak, poo-poo on his rizz-worthy head."

In other words, it was a successful picnic ;)

FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY:

You'd never catch this mf off guard, EVER. It's so rare if you actually do, super incredibly rare.

Once in a blue moon.

But he appreciates it. Your love language is almost just sending him cute photos at this point, whether it be of you both or just him.

He's a hacker. I'd bet he hacks into your camera just to look at the shots himself bitch

Then again, you never fail to make his heart boom-boom. For a special occassion like his birthday or christmas, you'd prepare the gift wholeheartedly.

You'll print out the most prettiest photos of him you could find, and design it with aesthetic stickers and notes <3

It was the fanciest photo-card + letter he's ever seen.

Obviously rat, that's our gn kween (y/n)

And you may think he never appreciates it due to his calm and sadistic demeanor, but this man keeps it in his room and looks at it everyday with an actual genuine smile.

He'll never admit it, only when he probably feels romantic which is uh...let's countdown to 2738282 years /j

When you're just hanging out with him while he works, you just take photos for fun. His office may seem dark but your camera brings justice good phone? couldn't be me

But one particular time, you decided to attempt and be sneaky to take his photo.

The position he was in was perfect, so it was time.

You really thought you had it in the bag too. He just chuckles the moment you put the camera on him, and he turns around as you click.

You wanna strangle his ass <3

But oh hell, he's gonna be sly. Smirking at you all the while seeing your cute face turn completely red.

"милый, you seem to be enjoying yourself. Why not do a photo face-to-face?" He whispers, looking straight into your eyes as you nesrly die in fluster.

He's definitely having his fun teasing you, playing it out and making you look like a simp.

But the moment he stands up, fucking run

You're not making out of it alive the moment he gets his hands on that camera. He's merciless when it comes to teasing his bbg (ew /j)

Then again, at times he'll lie down with you peacefully, looking at the photos in silence.

He'll love every shot taken because it's you.

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 8/13

What am I feeling today?

I’m feeling pretty good! I was able to get open and get advice yesterday after talking with my spiritual mentor, I’m so grateful to have her in my life. I will be taking a small break from the book of Job as I take some time to study out purity since it’s become a bit of a struggle for me again lately. Overall, I’m feeling quite encouraged and happy today (it’s also my cat’s birthday, she’s 4 now!🥰). My hope is that I can continue to stay positive and close to God through this time!

Six Keys to Sexual Purity

Key #1 - Acknowledge Your Temptation Triggers

Temptation is inevitable. It will come. So, you shouldn’t be surprised by it but prepared for it. To overcome temptation, you must first understand what tempts you. It is vital that you take drastic steps to identify and remove anything and anyone that causes you to stumble on your journey. For example, if you find yourself tempted when watching a specific tv show, listening to a particular music artist, or following certain accounts on social media, eliminate these temptations immediately. Don’t waste any time.

Reflection: Do you know your temptation triggers? Take a piece of paper, and jot down the things that entice you to sin and give in to temptation. What boundaries can you establish to ensure you aren't triggered?

In all honesty one of them is seeing the guys I like. Although I’m quite strict with myself and try to keep our interactions as pure as possible, I do sometimes let my mind wander and fantasize of what it would be like.

Another was social media (which I got rid of yesterday). Occasionally videos would come up that were enticing and tempting and I can’t allow myself to be exposed to that anymore.

Lastly, books and movies/shows. I love romance, I adore it and I deeply enjoy romantic media. However, a lot of what is mainstream is not at all pure or appropriate and it can be tempting for me to think, ‘is it really that bad if I give in’ - I need to continue being strict with myself in terms of the media I allow myself to consume.

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.”

just to reiterate that sex that sex isn’t a bad thing, but it is only allowed within the confines of marriage! anything outside of that is considered sexual immoral and therefore sin in the eyes of God. since I’m a single woman, it’ll be good for me to keep in mind that I should avoid it all together and resist the temptation since it’ll always result in sin for me as I am not married.

James 1:13-15 NIV

“When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

God is not the one who tempts us (although He does test us). Our temptation comes from our own evil desire. There are some sins that we truly desire (for example, I’m battling with my purity) but we need to be sure not to give in to it.

Matthew 5:27-29 NIV

““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

One, that it’s sin to look at someone lustfully. This is something I can struggle with when I see the guy I like. In my sinful nature, I want him to lust after me as well. But, I must keep reminding myself that it should in no way be the basis of a relationship. I shouldn’t want someone to want me just because they want my body. I want a pure loving relationship where lust should not have a prominent role.

Furthermore, Jesus tells us to get rid of anything that causes us to stumble (although I can’t get rid of the guys, I can correct my thinking and how I interact with them to keep purity as a top priority). Also, I was able to get rid of media that was tempting for me.

Romans 13:13-14 NIV

“Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”

Another reminder again about our behavior! I may struggle with some of my thoughts but I continue to behave with decency. I don’t initiate anything with the men in my life, I allow them to lead in a godly manner as they should. I don’t dress immodestly or try to present myself or act in a way that could be tempting to them. I want to make sure that both of our hearts are being guarded which can honestly be quite difficult for me at times.

Galatians 5:16-17 NIV

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”

Just a reminder that the desires of our flesh are not in line with that of the spirit. Jesus himself said that we must deny ourselves (our flesh) daily when we follow him. It’s a daily renewal of the mind to desire what the Spirit does instead of our sinful flesh.

[nescaveckwriter]

Old Barrooms, Saving Grace & Guitars - Chapter One 🐞🤠

A/N: Alohaz, my dear bugsies, this is not requested, but instead a prompt I saw, for the 'month of love' to write about a rockstar, and who better than our 'Dean Winchester', but I'm gonna warn, y'all this is a tear-jerker, I hope you all enjoy this first chapter, if you do, please let me know.❤️🐞

Side Note: Thank you for all the love Bugsies, I appreciate all of your support.🥰❤️

Warnings: Some profanity, mentions of death, drug use and alcohol use mentioned, if anything else, please let me know.🙈🙊

Also Please take Note: That only the first song/poem is my own work, as for the other lyrics used in this chapter, is from 'War Hippies' aswell as 'Carolyn Dawn Johnson'🤠🥰

Description: Famous Country-Rock Artist, High On Drugs, Booze & Guilt, after almost hitting rock bottom and meeting a angel in a smoky old bar room, his saving Grace, he finds his way, during the last words she'll ever say.

Chapter One 🐞🤠

The sound of the acoustic guitar plays throughout the studio, the man's voice, tugging every heart string as his southern draw comes through with every word, ''You were my saving Grace, my safe space, maybe if I prayed a little longer, the bond between me and up above would've been stronger, maybe if you told me sooner I could've loved you for a while more, but that's not what fate had in-store, between my whisky drinking, my heart and hopes sinking, into the darkness I wanted to dive, then you came along, with your eyes, looking so full of life, I'm man enough to admit that at first I hated you, my heart already knew, but my mind had no clue, Your honesty took me by surprise, your smile could brighten up a room like a sunrise, your sweet voice told me not to fall in love, but how could I not, ho do I just make it stop, when I first tasted your lips, feeling the touch of your fingertips, you made it possible again, for me you know, the part of living, when the news came you were dying, of course it destroyed me, she just smiled and said that's how it's supposed to be, I found my way, in the last words, she'll ever say, during her last breath, I found my will to live, I realized during that time, I found true meaning of love and light, Knowing, she weren't just my lover, she was my Saving Grace, oooooh, she was my saving Grace'' 

As he looks up over the studio, you can see his emerald-green eyes, is moist, his dirty-blonde beard, defining his amazing jawline, the smile on his rosy plum lips is warm, raking his longer hair through his fingers, so it will fall backwards, and out of his face, showcasing the lines on his face, telling a story of a few hard years. His smoky voice fills the emotional crowd. ''Thank you'' he mouthed.

Walking closer to the dark brown armchair, he greets the woman with the short blonde her, pulling her into a side hug. 

Her voice a little hoarse, ''Welcome Dean, glad you could finally make it,''

''Thank you for having me'' he smiles

''That song was beautiful as always, it always leaves a tear or two,'' she chuckles, while swiping away the last evidence of the wetness on her cheek.

Letting out a laugh ''Thank you, this song means more to me than anyone will ever know,''

''Yes, for sure, its so different from your usual stuff'' she suggested

''That's very true Claire, the other songs were just words, stringed together, but this, this, song its a story, its my reality, it was Grace's reality, it speaks about me hitting rock bottom and how she saved me'' his voice breaking a little at the end.

''I hear you, that woman had a voice of an angel'' she said smiling

''More like a choir of southern angels'' he lets out a chuckle

Laughing with the good looking man, ''Tell me Dean how does it feel knowing, you've reached double platinum and millions of online streams, with your song 'Saving Grace'''

Pulling his fingers through his hair, a smile curving on his lips ''You know Claire, I feel blessed of course, I never thought that it would reach so many people, but I'm satisfied in knowing that it means so much to them''

The live studio crowd, cheers and claps, in response. One of the guest's takes the microphone , going around, ''Excuse me Dean, can I ask you a personal question?''

Turning his glance towards the woman in the crowd, smiling, ''I'm a open book, ask away''

Smiling excitedly, ''How did you two meet, or rather what's the story behind the song?''

Letting out a nervous chuckle, ''Well, I met her during the darkest time of my life, when none of you wanted to listen to my music anymore, and I was a drunken, jerk with a huge ego''

''I always loved your music'' she laughs

''Thank you'' he smiles ''Well it all started two years ago''

----

'Heard about the crossroads

Yeah it's a real thing

Sold my soul, traded love out for a dream

Yeah she's gone for good and it's killing meWhen the curtain falls

And there ain't no missed calls

The room is empty

And I should be feelin' ten feet tall

The shootin' star that's killin' it

But I ain't feelin' nothin' at all'

''Thank You'' he shouted, stumbling off the stage, with his guitar, holding onto the walls, as he walks backstage, ordering the drummer, for another bottle of whiskey, Garth just shook his head, and handed him the bottle, knowing, there's no use trying to make him see the light.

As he fell down, on the couch of his dressing room, swallowing, away the gold liquid, hearing his manger saying the same old tune, ''Dean, you got to start getting your act together, your loosing fans with your drunken ass, when last did you write, some of your own songs'' 

Glaring at the old man, ''The people love me, I'm Dean freaking Winchester, best damn, country-rock artist, they've ever heard, the charts don't lie'' he slurred, 

Clearly frustrated with Dean the old man leaves, walking into the smoky old barroom. The bar was just almost too quiet, you could hear a pin drop so to say. Glancing over at the stage, there stood a woman, he heard about her, but never really heard sing.

Her voice was sweet and filled with a deep southern accent, almost like Wynonna Judd, or Dolly Parton. ''Good evening, Nashville, who's ready to go back to their old country roots, tonight I'll be doing one of my favorite songs of Carolyn Dawn Johnson,'' the crowd cheered ''Yes y'all its 'Die of a broken heart'

'And take me fast or take me slow

I don't really care how I go

In the daylight or in the dark

Just don't let me die of a broken heart

Take me fast or take me slow

I don't really care how I go

In the daylight or in the dark

Just don't let me die of a broken heart

No, don't let me die of a broken heart

No'

A sweet smile, on her face, revealing the rosy cheekbones,  her fair skin damp, from the heat, her strawberry blonde, hair draped over her shoulders, the blue denim jacket hugging her hourglass figure, her electric blue eyes glistening, with the stage lights, her voice filled with life, ''Hit it Jimmy, lets give these folks a little taste of a simple life''

'Spend my days in the sweet sunshine

Rock in my swing and watch my garden grow

Know that I'll always have someone to hold

Oh I wanna live the simple life, yeah

I wanna take a blanket down to the creek

And let the water sing me to sleep

And let go in time

Live the simple life..

Well lately I've seen too many city lights

I wanna go somewhere where i can see the stars at night'

As he listened too this beauty singing her heart out, he had an idea. Almost running over too Dean after he'd had a talk with her manager, only too find the man passed out drunk. When he promised his daddy he'd take care off him, he'd never would've guessed this would happen, he's not really sure were Dean's life took a turn for the worst, maybe the day his brother walked away, not wanting to deal with his crap anymore, hell maybe the day, his fame went to his head, maybe the day the car crash took Kevin's life, but whatever it was, he needs too find a way to help him, and something tells him that Grace Tucker is the answer.

Chapter One Here :)

Chapter Two Here :)

[torreshalstead]

Can I have this dance?

Summary - ‘So am I allowed to threaten this kid with jail time if he brings her home late?’ Jay asked his wife, the undertone of his words being full of truth shielded by a comedic tone, his fiercely protective nature poking through.

‘No Jay, you may not threaten our daughter's prom date,’ Hailey chuckled.

Notes - A little fluffy future family fic for this cloudy Monday. Happy Reading! AO3 Link

TW - mentions of fertility struggles and implied domestic violence

‘So am I allowed to threaten this kid with jail time if he brings her home late?’ Jay asked his wife, the undertone of his words being full of truth shielded by a comedic tone, his fiercely protective nature poking through.

‘No Jay, you may not threaten our daughter's prom date,’ Hailey chuckled, wrapping her arms around Jay’s middle and letting her head fall against his chest. Jay reciprocated and held her close, letting his own weight fall back against the kitchen counter as she leant into him, relishing in the warmth of her body against his.

‘Not even a little?’ he murmured into her hair. He grinned when he felt Hailey chuckle against him, her hot breath coming out in puffs he could feel through his shirt.

‘Not even a little,’ she said firmly, but Jay knew she would be smiling as she spoke.

‘Spoil sport,’ he muttered. His wife hummed as he tightened his arms around her. ‘Do you remember your prom?’ He asked her wondering for a second how they had got through so many years of marriage without him ever finding out the answer to that question.

‘I didn’t go,’ she said flatly, sliding her hands across his back, her fingers tracing along lines she once carved into his skin on their wedding night. A memory he was all too happy to recollect and even happier to reproduce whenever they had a night alone in the house. ‘Didn’t have a date and not sure my dad would have allowed me to go even if I did.’

Jay recognised the tone Hailey always used when speaking about her childhood. It was far more devoid of emotion than her voice usually was, missing the usual spark that made her her. It was as if she was talking about something that had happened to someone else on another planet, events of little consequence. But he knew better. She had opened up to him piece by piece in the years of their friendship and then their relationship, she trusted him with her heart and rewarded him with her honesty.

He had been the one who had held her when her father died and she wept not for the man who had given her life but for the life she would have known without him. He was the one who saw her reaction every time a case hit a little too close to home, when the child had too blonde hair or too blue eyes. He had been the one who she had turned to when their daughter's school project was a family tree and pictures were required of when they were children and she didn’t have any of herself.

‘I would have asked you to prom,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘I’d have bought you the most ridiculous corsage that wouldn’t have gone with your dress because 17 year old me would never have thought to have asked what colour it was.’ He chuckled and his favourite sound in the world was played back to him - his wife and daughter laughing.

‘Of course you wouldn’t dad,’ Ivy Halstead said from the doorway, a smile firmly fixed on her face as she looked at her parents embrace. Some children would always make faces when their parents showed emotion to one another, but not Ivy. Ever since she had been young she had realised how special it was that not only did her parents love each other deeply, but they showed it each and every day, never taking their love for granted.

Jay pulled back from Hailey and looked over at their daughter, and his breath hitched in his throat. ‘Honey, you look beautiful,’ he said, his smile widening as his eyes started to swim with tears.

Their daughter was the spitting image of Hailey, the long blonde hair, the dimple in her cheek when she smiled but she had been blessed with Jay’s emerald green eyes. She was the doppelgänger of her mother in more ways than one, her temper was equally fierce and you didn’t want to get on her bad side but she loved just as fiercely, looking out for her friends and the downtrodden, providing help to all she could. Jay was incredibly proud of her, both her parents were.

They had never planned on Ivy being an only child and had tried for years to give her a sibling but after too many tearful negative tests and trips to the doctors, Jay and Hailey vowed they would give her enough love for two children. It hadn’t been an easy decision to stop trying, a part of Jay hoped that without the stress of trying to get pregnant that the stars would shine down on them but no such luck ever happened. Any time someone asked if they hadn’t thought about extending their family, Jay’s skin prickled and Hailey would calmly answer they were happy as a family of three. In the beginning those comments had broken his wife and she had cried herself to sleep in his arms. But now they rolled off them without the same pain. They were happy as a family of three and Jay would move heaven and earth for his girls.

Hailey had taken Ivy dress shopping a couple of weeks ago but he had been ordered to remain home, it was girl time so they told him and us such he was not invited. And when they arrived home with a garment bag as large as the smiles on their faces, they told him he would have to wait and see what it contained.

‘It’s a surprise Dad,’ Ivy said as she pecked him on the cheek and scurried off upstairs.

A surprise it certainly was.

She was wearing a floor length blue gown that was flowing down like a waterfall in a deep navy. Jay didn’t know enough about dresses to know about the cut or the design but he knew his daughter looked beautiful and that was all that mattered. She had kept her long hair down, curled for the occasion and pushed behind her ears.

‘You really think so,’ she said softly, the colour in her cheeks rising as she looked between her parents. Hailey’s hand was over her mouth and unlike Jay she hadn’t had the self control to prevent the tears from starting to cascade down her face.

‘Your dad’s right Ivy, you look wonderful darling,’ Hailey choked out, her voice laced with pride.

‘Thanks guys,’ she smiled, ‘but you better stop crying before Marcus gets here. Not sure Dad’s scary cop routine is going to work if he’s crying like a baby,’ she chuckled.

‘I’m not crying,’ Jay said adamantly with less than believable looks coming from both his wife and daughter. ‘Anyway your mother says I can’t go all bad cop on him.’

‘Thanks Mom,’ Ivy mouthed and winked at her.

‘But you’ll be home on time-’ Jay started but Ivy just rolled her eyes.

‘He’ll bring me home on time Dad, and if anything happens and I need a ride then I will call you, I promise,’ she said with a smile. Jay smiled proudly back. It was something he and Hailey had tried to instil in their daughter, that no matter what trouble she was in they would always come and get her. They might be cross or disappointed in the morning but she was still their little girl and her safety was paramount.

‘Good girl,’ Jay said, wrapping an arm around Hailey’s waist and tugging her close, smiling at their daughter.

There was a knock on the door and all three Halstead’s turned to look.

‘That’ll be him, please no bad cop,’ Ivy pleaded as she walked to open the door with a fleeting look back at her parents.

‘He promises,’ Hailey spoke for Jay who tickled her side in response.

‘Hey Marcus,’ Ivy said with a grin when she opened the door to a teenager dressed in a suit that was potentially a size too big standing on the other side.

‘Wow,’ was all he said and Jay smirked. He knew all too well what it was like to be left speechless by a blonde haired Halstead, even if the one in question hadn’t been a Halstead the first time she had rendered him incapable to form a coherent thought. She had also left him speechless many times since she had agreed to take his name.

‘You look beautiful,’ Marcus finally said. ‘Oh I got you this,’ he held out the corsage, clearly he had had the forethought to ask what colour his date's dress was going to be thought Jay.

‘Thanks,’ Ivy said excitedly, taking it off him. ‘Mom, will you help?’ She asked, turning back to her mother who nodded and approached to assist.

‘Now Marcus,’ Jay said, not quite in full Sargeant mode but with enough authority in his voice to turn the boy to jelly. ‘You bring her home on time.’

‘Of course Mr Halstead, umm Sergeant Halstead,’ he stammered out and Ivy shot Jay a glaring look.

‘Alright then,’ Jay said, rubbing his hands together, ‘you have a great time then kids.’ He smirked.

‘We will Dad,’ Ivy said, rolling her eyes again as she pulled her mother into a tight hug when she had finished tying the little bouquet around her wrist. She released her and hurried over to give Jay a quick peck on the cheek before heading out the door, Marcus offering her his arm although she was two steps in front.

The Halstead women were always two steps ahead, the kid would learn that soon enough Jay thought.

‘Wait pictures!’ Hailey said quickly, grabbing her phone from the counter and hurrying out the door after them. Jay smiled to himself as he watched through the window as his wife snapped a few photos before Ivy climbed into the passenger seat of her date's car.

His little girl was off to prom. He couldn’t quite believe it.

‘Well I got a couple before they ran off,’ Hailey said as she closed the door behind her, bringing her phone over to Jay to show him the images, swiping through them quickly. ‘You still all emotional Mr Big Scary Cop?’ She asked with a smirk as she pocketed her phone and wrapped an arm around him again.

‘Just can’t believe we have a kid who's old enough to go to prom,’ Jay admitted, resting his head atop Hailey’s. ‘Makes me feel old.’

‘Well we aren’t that old,’ Hailey said, playfully swatting him on the chest.

The pair stood in silence for a moment, the house quieter than it usually was without the music or chatter normally echoing down the stairs from Ivy’s room. Quiet was not the word to describe their daughter.

‘Will you dance with me?’ Jay said into the silence.

‘What, here?’ Hailey questioned, pulling back to look at him with a quizzical look.

‘Well you said you never went to prom so consider this your prom dance,’ he said with a smile, reaching into her back pocket to retrieve her phone. He swiped across and found what he was looking for, clicking play and letting the gentle melody fill the kitchen when he placed the phone back onto the counter.

‘Can I have this dance?’ He said with a smile as he held out his hand dramatically.

‘Of course,’ Hailey responded with a grin, placing her hand in his and letting him pull her into his chest, his arm winding its way around her waist to hold her close and hers finding a hold on his back.

They swayed gently to the music, the kitchen their dance floor and each other's company their only priority.

‘Thank you,’ Jay muttered into her hair, breathing in the familiar scent that was uniquely Hailey, her floral shampoo filling his senses.

‘For what?’ Hailey asked, glancing up at him as she loosened her hold slightly.

‘For all of this,’ he said clearly, ‘for this life, our life, for our daughter, for all of it Hails. It’s perfect.’

Hailey tucked herself back into his chest and Jay felt his shirt dampen from her tears.

‘It really is,’ she admitted, still swaying in time to the music, her fingers tangled in his shirt. Jay dropped a kiss to her head and closed his eyes, content to have his wife in his arms.

‘But if that boy brings her home late-’ he started but was drowned out by Hailey’s chuckles and a gentle pat to the back.

‘There’s the Jay I know and love,’ she said and Jay smiled.