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jadeshifting · 4 months ago

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hi jade!! my drself name is megara (meg for short) and shes half egyptian, but theres some VERY mystical but ancient blood running through her veins. and her moms half a vampire. but idk if its too op or not 😭 anywho, i was wondering if you could give me tips on how to make it realistic?? your drself self seems wayy detailed and i can tell alot of thought was put into it.

(can i be known as the 💿 anon?? also deepest apologies if this was a long read. theres not alot of spn shifters)

hi there !! thank you sm for the msg, i love asks like this because the entire reason i post about my drs that i didn’t think many other people had, is so the few who DO shift there have content they can read about it. like i couldn’t find it so i wanted to make it LOL

for starters, your drself sounds so fucking cool 😭 every day i wake up and somebody else has some awesome shit scripted. so far all the spn shifters i’ve talked to have been soooo so creative and out of the box and i’m SO obsessed with it

i really appreciate that, i truly do spend obnoxious amounts of time thinking about it and i’m glad it shows a LITTLE, anyways i kind of got carried away and rambled off some ideas under the cut !! i totally understand trying to tamp down cool ideas to be reasonable within the canon—like yes we can script anything we want but i’m also guilty of wanting it to make perfect sense anyway 💔

obviously i don’t have all the cool details about your drself, but here we go with what i know :

　　. 　　˚　　　　*　　　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　　　　　　

the fact that your drself possesses a unique blend of mystical and ancient blood alongside your partial-vampire lineage offers a really cool opportunity to maintain your power level without veering into the realm of being “too overpowered.” a multi-faceted approach involving limitations, unique weaknesses, and narrative-driven challenges are all really cool tools to, at the end of the day, ground you in your drself, make you feel more “human,” and avoid spoiling any huge plot points by being able to fix things and defeat anyone with the snap of your fingers

HERITAGE/MYSTICISM

— MYSTICAL BLOODLINE. the mystical, ancient blood you’ve got could tie you to a specific and powerful lineage, perhaps connected to Egyptian mythology in some way. the gods are such prominent figures in the later seasons, so having associations with or abilities tied to themes of death, protection, or resurrection, akin to Anubis or Osiris, would be really understandable. these things could always come with strict rules or costs, though—instead of being all-powerful, using your powers drains her life force, or they require rare and ancient rituals to activate or recharge ( like a zappy mystical battery mhm mhm )

— PARTIAL VAMPIRIC NATURE. your vampiric side could provide enhanced physical abilities like strength, speed, and heightened senses. but, of course, depending on how integral your vampire genetics are, this could still come with traditional vampire weaknesses—probably not sunlight, but fire and stakes, and a pervasive need for blood, though maybe only occasionally since you aren’t a full vampire. integrating some of the classic vampire traits could help to ensure you aren’t canonically invincible, you know?

FLAWED POWERS: IMPERFECTIONS/COSTS

— CONFLICT OF DUAL NATURE. a stark contrast between your mystical heritage and vampiric blood could lead to internal conflicts—like literally internal. inside your body. perhaps your ancient blood rejects the vampiric curse, which causes physical or psychological strife. this could impact you biologically, the type of thing that could manifest as a unique weakness or challenge you have to address the same way someone would address a sickness or an injury

— UNSTABLE ABILITIES. your powers might not be fully under your control control all the time, such as in moments of emotional turmoil. for instance, your mystical abilities could manifest unpredictably, leading to unintended consequences. this instability is absurdly common when it comes to extreme power like that, and creates situations where your power could be seen as just as much a liability as it is a strength

LIMITATION/GROWTH

— LEARNING CURVE. you could experience a gradual mastery of your abilities—or the more intense ones, at least. initially, you could struggle with controlling or even understanding your own powers and their nature. as you grow, you learn to harness them, perhaps through lots and lots of practice or a little bit of guidance from others who may be familiar with ancient magic or vampires (Bobby, Ellen, someone smarter than the Winchesters LMAO.) this kind of progression leaves a journey for you to go on, so that you can even be eased into the enormity of your own powers. no doubt they can be a lot to deal with, right?

— MORAL DILEMMAS/COST. your powers could certainly come with moral quandaries. if you have the ability to resurrect the dead (just an example, this would work for any really powerful ability) it could come at a terrible cost—perhaps it requires sacrificing something precious, or it disrupts the natural order, leading to unforeseen consequences. these moral challenges would keep you grounded, at least

WEAKNESSES: VULNERABILITY/FEAR

— ANCIENT CURSES. your abilities could be tied to ancient Egyptian curses a lá Cleo de Nile. perhaps using your powers is tied to an ancient curse that slowly consumes the soul or vitality of yourself or others, or draws the attention of vengeful spirits or deities. this adds a layer of conflict or trouble within your power bracket that even your immense power can’t easily counter (trying to create problems that can’t be fixed in the snap of a finger, y’know?)

— BLOODLINE BOUNDARIES. your genetic nature, split between two or more species, could mean that you find yourself rejected by both your vampire kin and mystical ancestors, due to the stark contrast between them. this ostracization could lead to isolation and a lack of allies, forcing your to rely on yourself and the alliances you’ve formed with the Winchesters or other hunters and people in their circle

EMOTIONAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL DEPTH

— INNER TURMOIL. narratively speaking, you could struggle with your identity—caught between two worlds and all that, you know? your vampiric genetics could tempt you towards darkness or coven activities, while your mystical heritage could pull you towards a higher purpose. this type of inner conflict can definitely manifest in your relationships, choices, and how you view yourself and your purpose

— FEAR OF YOUR OWN POWER. despite your abilities, you may find yourself frightened by the idea of what you can become, or what you’re capable of. perhaps you’ve witnessed or heard stories of what happens when someone as powerful as you loses control or falls to the darkness. this fear could lead to moments of hesitation or self-doubt

INTERACTIONS WITHIN THE UNIVERSE

— ALLIES/MENTORS. you could make sure you have mentors or allies who guide you—a rogue angel or a reclusive witch with knowledge of ancient Egyptian magic could provide you with the necessary tools and knowledge to control your powers and understand your lore while keeping you grounded in the show’s established universe and rules

— ENEMIES/CHALLENGES. preventing you from being too all-powerful, you could script adversaries specifically tailored to your weaknesses—ancient hunters, gods, or creatures who have a history with your bloodline. the existence of these enemies would force you to rely on help from others and finding more complex solutions, rather than just relying on sheer power

scripting challenges that test your abilities, morality, and identity (if you want to, of course), and by grounding your extraordinary nature in personal struggle, ancient lore, and narrative consequences, you’re a compelling and balanced addition to the already existing storyline !!

sorry if this is kinda long, but i hope this helped a little, ofc you can be 💿 anon and my inbox is always open :^) happy shifting !!

#asks <3 #💿 anon

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supersmoshers · 9 months ago

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what are your thoughts on ianthony and also will there be ianthony in your au? also your au is super cool!!

I love ianthony! I don't consume a lot of Ianthony content at current but I was an early Smosh fan and ofc I appreciate and love their dynamic (I mean, literally THE Smosh duo.) And especially since the reunion and Ianthony revival, I think all their appearances together are so so good. Not to mention they're just incredible at amplifying each other whenever they're together in anything, they have a really really good back-and-forth that comes with any friendship that's lived that long (I say this as a biased person because I too have a childhood best friend who is still my closest friend to this day). Just overall a big Ianthony fan, because even when I'm not actively interacting with Ianthony stuff I just feel like it makes so much sense as a pairing. It just tracks. Also as an Arasha fanboy, it just makes sense for me to love her dads together. Literally the Smosh Dads for the whole cast! Iconic showstopping trendsetting brilliant every other adjective. The first big Smosh ship for a reason In terms of Ianthony in the AU, it's actually pretty relevant to the plot of the AU, so I don't know how much I can really say without spoiling some stuff, but rest assured their dynamic (platonic and romantic!) is integral to a lot of the story. I mean, it is directly impactful for the formation of the group in general! But you'll have to wait and see... Just know Ianthony fans that you're absolutely going to be fed lol Thanks for the ask!!!

#Smosh RPF #Smosh Superhero AU #Ianthony #Anthony Padilla #Ian Hecox

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carrotcouple · 1 year ago

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Book Thoughts: Cart and Cwidder by Diana Wynne Jones

*knock knock* I got it into my head that I wanted to talk about the books I read and how I felt about them and try not to spoil them so that if anyone reads this post they can pick up the book without knowing everything that happens in it.

So 'Cart and Cwidder' is from "The Dalemark Quartet". Publication wise it is the first book to have been published. Chronologically however, it is the third book in the series. I decided to read the series in publication order. For those of you who recognize the name, yes! It is the same author who wrote Howl's Moving Castle! I actually read the fourth book (chronologically and publication wise) randomly when I was a child cause I found it in a library and none of it's friends were around.

From my understanding each book in the Dalemark Quartet is about a different character's story and all these characters end up significant characters in the fourth and last book. With heavy Welsh Mythology and Celtic Mythology roots, the Dalemark Quartet is a fun vibe for those who liked Arthurian Mythology too!

Cart and Cwidder is about a family of Singers (consider them traveling bards). Moril, the youngest son of the family, is the main character. He's dreamy but level headed and rather detached from the world. He tends to go where the wind takes him. His family travels between the North and South of Dalemark often, singing songs and talking to people. The North and South have a horrible relationship and tensions are rising. War seems to be looming on the horizon.

Now that my brief summary is over, lemme talk about how I enjoyed the book, my overall impression of the characters and the themes that I gleaned from the story.

Moril was an incredibly fun character to read. His dreaminess and detachedness led to a very broad view of the story. The story was, of course, written in third person but it was through his point of view. He was fairly content to remain stagnant in that dreamy state at the beginning of the story, but when the ball starts rolling and the plot catches him, he has to learn to grow into his own person, realize that the stagnant dreaminess was his calling to pave his own path as a Singer and eventually lead him to play the blessed Cwidder. He grows in leaps and bounds in this story, hearing the music in the wind and letting it carry him.

Brid was fun! As the only daughter in the family, she was naturally closer to her mom, but she didn't quite have the same steadiness. In fact, it's mentioned on more than one occasion that she needed to be in performance mode in order to do anything in public. Yet despite being in performance mode, she had no qualms with integrating her personal emotions and her real personality into the story. It was incredibly endearing how halfway through the story, her siblings and Kialan let her take the reigns in familial stuff. She was cute and young and wore her heart on her sleeve, but she too grew by the end of the story.

Kialan, who is a boy the family takes in to travel with them briefly is prickly and annoying (to Moril and Brid) at first. He's a smart and no nonsense kind of person who is always looking over his shoulder and trying to keep himself safe. He has one goal and has been trying to achieve that goal for a long time, sometimes no matter what cost it comes at. However, by the end of the story he grows incredibly attached to Moril and Brid. Ready to trade in those self survival instincts and smarts, just for them.

There are other characters, but these three were the central ones, so I really will not talk about the others.

'Cart and Cwidder' is a children's adventure story, not unlike "The Dark Is Rising Sequence" and "The Chronicles of Narnia". So you can expect going into the story that the characters will behave like children, but will often have that beautiful view of the world that adults do not have. 'Cart and Cwidder' is actually fairly dark though, so keep that in mind going into the story.

Music was a central theme, since Moril plays a Cwidder and sings and Brid sings too. Music reaching people, telling people stories, news, about their loved ones, is something explored heavily. But music having power is explored too. How music can move mountains, stop wars, make the most alert soldier sleep, make the hardest heart melt.

It is somewhat of a coming of age or a self discovery story on Moril's end. Throughout the story he struggles with what kind of music he wants to make and what music means to him. The fact that his Cwidder holds power that deeply unsettles him adds flavor to his struggle. He learns to find himself, what he wants, acknowledges the power he holds as a person, a musician and a storyteller and also realizes what he wants to do with that.

Truth is an incredibly large part of the story that was not as obvious. But Moril has to learn to be truthful. True to himself, true to his Cwidder. He has to face the consequences of twisting the truth, the consequences of lying. With a constant opposite being shown in how his father only performs and his sister also does too and how his brother tries to share his truths, Moril has to understand what is actually truth.

And lastly, my favorite bit was a minor but nonetheless, the role of women in the story. Given the time period in the story, it is better for a woman to get married in order to be protected and safe. And we see the decisions that Moril and Brid's mother makes and how they're somewhat resentful of her at first but then they understand and realize she was just a person. And then we end up seeing it reflected in Brid as she learns and grows.

Cart and Cwidder was a super fun read with secretive bards, ancient legends, magic, songs that can move mountains, wars, conspiracy, discovery and freedom.

#sunny rambles #book thoughts #cart and cwidder #dalemark quartet #diana wynne jones #i feel like i had more to say but i was trying so hard to be spoiler free #this was a really nice read #esp the way the book ended #you could tell Moril's journey was not over #stories with children as main characters is always so fun for me #they see the world so differently #long post

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hattrickeryreviews · 2 years ago

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Save of the Game (Scoring Chances #2) - Avon Gale

"After last season’s heartbreaking loss to his hockey team’s archrival, Jacksonville Sea Storm goalie Riley Hunter is ready to let go of the past and focus on a winning season. His new roommate, Ethan Kennedy, is a loud New Yorker with a passion for social justice that matches his role as the team’s enforcer. The quieter Riley is attracted to Ethan and has no idea what to do about it.

Ethan has no hesitations. As fearless as his position demands, he rushes into things without much thought for the consequences. Though they eventually warm to their passionate new bond, it doesn’t come without complications. While trying to financially help Ethan, Riley must hide his family’s wealth so as not to hurt Ethan’s immense pride. For their relationship to work, Ethan will need to learn when to keep the gloves on and let someone help him—and Riley will have to learn it’s okay to let someone past his defenses."

Did I reread it? Yes

POV: 3rd person limited, alternating between Riley Hunter and Ethan Kennedy

Tropes: Wealth Gap, Roommates, Friends-to-Lovers, Anger Issues

My thoughts:

Characters/Character Development: 3.5/5

Riley: Riley is a somewhat reserved goalie with strict routines and way too much money. He’s a kind person who struggles with what he wants and what he’s never had. His character arc revolves around becoming comfortable in love, whether that be familial, romantic, or friendly.

Ethan: Ethan is a friendly enforcer with more vices than virtues and a general disregard for thinking ahead. He jumps into life without any fear, and generally lands on his feet. His character arc is focused on allowing himself to accept help from others without viewing it as a personal downfall.

The character development in this book is better handled than the first book in the series. We see our two main characters really struggle with what they want and how to obtain it. Because this book is short, sitting at 200 pages, some of the timeline is slightly unrealistic, with arguments ending basically as soon as they begin. Additionally, this book has a lot of tell-not-show: for example, we are told that Ethan has issues with his anger, but rarely do we see him truly mad. Overall, I would see that these characters are realistic with strong conceptual arcs, but their development really suffers from the story being so short.

Believability (Hockey): 4.5/5

Just as the previous book in the series did, this book follows the ECHL, with accurate depictions of what that means for the characters. The team names themselves are fake, but the structure of the games and league is very real. I think the hockey in this book is generally believable; we see Ethan on the ice as much as we would expect from an enforcer, and Riley has the same idiosyncrasies most goalies have. I think much of the hockey in this book is idealized, with some moments that come seemingly out of nowhere.

Believability (Plot): 3/5

This book sits right on the line of “sure, I guess that could happen”. The son of one of the wealthiest couples in the US on an ECHL team? Why not. Without spoiling anything, the trajectory of the team in this book versus the last one doesn’t quite line up, but I guess it could happen. Generally, I stand by that this book is too short for what it is trying to accomplish, leading to some things being less believable because there weren’t enough pages to build up to it.

Uniqueness: 2/5

There’s a lot of cliches in this book, and it builds up to become a story that I can read that will probably fade into the background. The structure of the relationship is familiar, with very few new elements being introduced to keep it fresh. I have read this book before, and it wasn’t one that really stuck out as a story I absolutely had to reread.

Trope Integration: 3/5

The story leans heavily on its tropes, and some of them are better executed than others. The wealth gap between the characters was very well woven into the plot, while some of the others were only glossed over. Some of the tropes were, again, told-not-shown, which left a little bit of room for a “what if?”. Overall, I’d say the tropes were decently well utilized; maybe not to their fullest potential, but enough that they were noticeable.

Series Integration: 5/5

We saw both of our main characters in the last book, and it wasn’t too much of a surprise that Riley was going to get a story of his own. This story felt like a natural continuation of the previous book, and it was very easy to transition between the two without needing any adjustment time.

General enjoyment: 3/5

It’s not a particularly unique story, but that doesn’t make it bad. I genuinely like both of our main characters, and I was rooting for them the whole time. I never really felt myself get sucked into the plot, but I enjoyed reading it nonetheless. There’s definitely room for improvement, but it’s generally well written. Again, I think this book just suffered from being short. If there had been more development of the plot elements, I think it could have been fantastic.

Overall Score: 24/35 or 3.4/5

#lgbt fiction #queer books #queer characters #lgbtqia #lgbt books #hockey romance #avon gale #scoring chances #book review #book blog #hockey #echl #ratings #rivalry #save of the game

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silverwhittlingknife · 2 years ago

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Idk if you read ao3 but if you do…….. got any Dick fics to share?

afdsf You have come to the right place. I read so much ao3, anon.

Dick Grayson Fanfic Recs

General notes: This is a mix of fics I associate with Dick, so some are straightforwardly "this is Dick's POV and a story about him" (like a soft place to land) whereas some are more loosely "this is the POV of one of his siblings who's just thinking about Dick a lot." Post-Crisis is my favorite continuity/tone, so everything is post-Crisis unless otherwise noted, but I happily read nu52/Rebirth or WFA-style fics when I like the authors, so there are some of those in here too.

I just skimmed through my bookmarks and picked out some fics I have fond memories of, so I tried to add content warnings when I remembered, but caveat lector - check the warnings in each individual fic before you read! (Mostly: be advised that there are both Good Dad Bruce and Bad Dad Bruce stories.)

Things I like include plotty long fics, timeline shenanigans like de-aging (and broadly, anything that emphasizes change over time), angst and hurt/comfort, characters with flaws and interpersonal tensions and misunderstandings (and reconciliations <3), explorations of trauma and grief, and Dick and Tim's relationship. So, uh, this rec list is going to be pretty shaped by those preferences.

Okay! Let's do this.

Organization:

Plotty ensemble fics with Dick in a lead role

Dick & Tim fics

Dick & Bruce fics

Dick & Jason fics

Dick & Damian fics

Fics that didn't fit into the other categories

Plotty ensemble fics with Dick in a lead role:

Exactly How This Grace Thing Works by irnan: Dick gets de-aged. You'd think this would be a routine thing. This fic is so great, you guys.

How Far Love Goes by flybynightwing: This one isn't just about Dick - it's an ensemble fic with great plotting and great writing for everyone, especially Steph - but at its heart is a very careful consideration of Dick and Bruce's relationship in all its complexities, from the bonkers highs of Golden and Silver Age comics to the darkest parts of post-Crisis and new 52. (cw: parental abuse, read the content warnings carefully)

from the till-then to the ever-since by kieron_oduibhir: This isn't precisely Dick-centric so much as it's mostly Dick-POV, but it's really good! Everybody meets their younger selves, and I especially enjoy the contrasts between Robin!Dick and Nightwing!Dick.

'no' and other four-letter words by a_good_soldier: Dick reassessing everything with Catalina, much later. (cw mentions of rape)

the man with guns for eyes by 8sword: Dick comes back from the dead. New 52 continuity, post-Spyral. Angst.

bad signal by prismatic-et-al: Not Dick's POV, but it's a great ensemble fic with Dick at the center. Hard to say more without spoiling the plot.

Dick and Tim fics:

a soft place to land by bitimdrake: Tim gives Dick a gift on the One Year Later cruise. Possibly my favorite Dick and Tim fic in the history of time ever. Perfect character voices, perfect story, perfect everything. <333 I reread it regularly.

long distance by bitimdrake: AU where Bruce is really dead and Dick finally gets a phone call from Tim. It's so sad and lives in my mind rent-free. (I also really love pain/release, which is hurt/comfort for Tim.)

Holding the Line by birdchild: Dick having anxiety dreams and getting comforted by Tim. ;_; Very canon-conscious with lots of thoughtfully-integrated references. Part of a really wonderfully-written Tim-and-Damian-centric series, and you probably have to read the series in order to understand this one-shot - and if you like those characters at all, you should!

When It Rains by vellaphoria: After Cass and Tim return from Paris, something seems… wrong. Dick investigates and ends up facing memories of his own. Really nice balance of dealing with ignored-by-canon traumas but the characters still sound like themselves (cw mentions of rape)

We've Taken Different Paths, Traveled Different Roads by sohotthateveryonedied: A moment of reconciliation post-Blackest Night ;_;

The Center Cannot Hold by kieron_oduibhir: Dick having a bad day and getting comforted by Tim and Bruce. New 52/Rebirth continuity.

the oracle at delphi by kieron_oduibhir: Future fic. The POV characters observe Dick and Tim. Hard to say more without spoilers. Trust me, it's very clever!!

Choco Bombs by lurkinglurkerwholurks: Tim POV, but the focus is on a moment of Tim comforting Dick in the Red Robin era. Mostly WFA-style but with post-Crisis influence. (The same author also has some excellent longer ensemble fics where Dick plays a minor role but is consistently well-written when he shows up.)

wake me up before you go go by incogneat_oh: short one-shot: Tim sneaks into Dick's apartment, Robin-era. General note - I only picked out two one-shots, but this author has done a bunch of WFA-style fics which are universally charming and lots of fun.

there'll always be a few things, maybe several things by incogneat_oh: short one-shot: Dick seeks out Tim after a nightmare, Red Robin-era. ;_; Low-key angst.

Road to Damascus by irrelevant: dark AU where Batman kills Zucco and Dick's parents don't die. Fascinating world-building and great character voices. (cw: explicit sex scene between Dick and an OC early in the fic - it's not important and you can skip it but just generally think of this fic as an r-rated movie)

There in the sudden blackness by camsthiSky: Dick and Tim tension in the Batman: Reborn era. Dick and Tim POVs.

things that don't kill us by polsvoice: This one's really Tim-centric but it's all about Tim missing Dick ;_;. After the events of Batman #71, Tim makes a visit to Ric. Nu52/Rebirth era, Tim POV.

and the shapes that you drew may change beneath a different light by popsunner: Tim-centric but I think of it as being about Dick because his absence is the hole that the whole fic's shaped around. ;_; Nu52/Rebirth era, Tim POV, Tim and Damian bonding in the aftermath of Dick's death.

spill of the war by 2012bookworm: "You dosed yourself. With Joker venom." Tim-centric, but Dick is a major character, trying to fix Tim while not-so-secretly crumbling himself. Dick's a barista, but not done in the way you'd expect. Very angsty.

exit wounds by Shari Deschain: very short one-shot in the very early days of Tim-as-Robin

Dick and Bruce fics:

almost right by bitimdrake: Bruce-centric, but it's about his relationship with Dick. (cw mentions of parental abuse)

in the dark of the night by fanfictiongreenirises: Dick & Bruce, through the years. AU where Dick gets adopted last.

deep roots are not reached by the frost by fanfictiongreenirises: in a future where everyone gets along, Dick gets de-aged to several different ages and has to process how the world has changed. I love how different the various incarnations of Dick feel. (cw mentions of rape and parental abuse)

shoulder to shoulder by lurkinglurkerwholurks: Dick and Bruce at Janet Drake's funeral.

the lower and coarser soul by dustorange: absolutely perfect slice-of-life with Dick, Bruce, and Tim (cw mention of Bruce punching Dick)

Dick and Jason fics:

Recollect, re-collect by Ptelea: A spell gone wrong leads to Jason reassessing some things. Jason-centric, but it's mostly about his relationship with Dick. Fantastic writing and plotting. New 52/Rebirth continuity (Spyral, Tim's close to Jason instead of Dick, etc.).

The 70 Days After Groundhog Day by Ptelea: Fascinating concept - Jason experiences a traumatizing Groundhog Day, but the whole fic is from Dick's POV in the aftermath as he pieces together what happened - and wonderful slow-burn writing. New 52/Rebirth continuity. (cw: mentions of rape).

Dick and Damian fics:

the primacy of personal conscience by birdsofthesoul: Brilliant concept (a wishing well that grants wishes - but it might be evil!), whirlwind plot, and a great take on Dick that doesn't lose his edge. Damian is a minor character but an important part of Dick's motivations. Read if only for my favorite take on Talia ever in the last chapter. New 52/Rebirth continuity.

3:16 by partingxshot: With faltering steps, Dick and Damian become Batman and Robin. Lovely writing. Canon notes: closely tracks Morrison's B&R and Leviathan.

Fics that didn't fit into my other categories:

It's a Wonderful Earth-218 by flybynightwing: I asked for an It's a Wonderful Life-style fic starring Dick and then I GOT ONE, proving that miracles are real and flybynightwing performs them. <3

If you just call me by flybynightwing: Dick and Donna, through the years.

continuous tense by batofgoodintent: Fix-it for the Mirage plotline. DickKory.

Let Us Be Brave and i want to wake up (i hate this dream) by camsthiSky: One-shots with Dick-as-Batman, depressed and grieving.

Don't You Forget About Me by sohotthateveryonedied: Everybody forgets Dick. ;_; One-shot.

touch starved by envysparkler: Dick is touch-starved and then gets hugged a lot. WFA-style.

feast by envysparkler: The Batkids are magical creatures that feed on pleasure from cuddle piles. Gen ensemble; ch. 1 is Dick & Jason and ch. 4 is Dick & Tim. WFA-style.

Also, I write stories about Dick & Tim sometimes, so, uh. If you're interested, there's

the WIP where Dick meets Tim for the first and second and third time and finds him really annoying,

the one where they spend Christmas Eve together and inch closer to being brothers,

the one where Tim is a wimp,

the one where Dick catches a falling Tim in RR 12, and

the WIP where Dick's trying to solve a mystery and everybody's mad at each other (this one's gonna be heartwarming eventually I promise!! later).

Snippets: Tim's imprisoned in fantasy!Russia and Dick has to disguise himself as an interrogator to rescue him, outline of an angsty fic of Dick and Tim in a world with soulmarks.

In conclusion

Dick is the best blorbo ever to blorbo. There are more fics in his character tag than for any of the other Batkids and yet there will never be enough <3

#ask tag #fic recs #dick grayson #<333 the BOY #there are even more fics that i like but this has taken wayyyy too long already asdfsdfa #anyway these are all ones i like a lot #also both fantastic-nonsense and upswings have good rec lists if you want to check those out!!#by the way wfa-style doesn't actually mean ''set in wfa continuity''#it's more ''probably loosely au / you're more likely to enjoy this if you also like wfa / cute things probably happen''#this is not a scientific category it's just based on ~vibes~ sdfdsfs

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deux-jared · 2 years ago

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the boys in the band review

"Show me a happy homosexual and I'll show you a gay corpse."

this review is about the 2020 version specifically but it applies to all bc im mostly just talking about the themes and plot.

it’s a good movie it’s. great movie. it’s maybe the best movie about gay men to exist. it capture that generation of queer identity brutally and honestly. there’s slurs. there’s homophobia. there’s cool little trinkets on the tables and art on all the walls. with only a single setting the movie really makes it feel like home. an incredibly beautiful home.

not to spoil it, but it’s not a movie where anything happens, don’t go into it expecting some jump or big event or such. it’s like a slice of life movie. and that slice of life happens to be kinda fucking wild cause everyone got too drunk.

the movie has beautiful flashbacks, the kind that kinda make your heart hurt. these men think about their pasts, childhood, regrets. and in a queer light. they think back on failed attempts at romance, gay awakenings, and hookups. it feels dramatic but it well represents how they actually feel. looking back on memories with too much flair and importance, replaying copies in their mind. they are not living the ups and downs of queer life in the movie, but instead look back on some. you know there’s a YA novel story back there. but it’s not about that, it’s about community.

the movie touches on issue that are Extremely relevant to modern queer communities. the characters aren’t young, all in the 30-40 range i’d say. they’re aging, something that’s hardest of all for queer people. no family surrounding you, rarely financial stability, but worst of all you don’t look like the perfect skinny twink anymore. gay men especially put an over abundance of importance into appearance. more so than heterosexuals. the friends put so much working into dressing up then insult each other incessantly. they hold so much importance in image even just the group of them in the comfort of a house, and age scares them. they fight to be see as young. watch The Gay Body Image Issue

rarely is the pain of the queer community talked about beyond a homophobia level. too few feel strongly about gay life in the 60s. (always look into lgbt history it’s some of the greatest stuff ever and it’s well documented) an era where queer culture was more apparent in public, but still wrong. where people could be all like that but as a joke ofc. this movie is sad. it’s sad and angry and mean and nothing good really happens in it. but nothing really bad either. it’s a deep rooted sad. these men are isolated from society, hate themselves, and seem to see the worst in each other despite being each others only real friends. they insult each others age, race, apparent, effeminacy, intelligence, mental health, life style. most of them really truly hate each other. like they really truly hate themselves. life was fucking hell and they couldn’t even find community in it. that’s sad. they’re sad sad men. it’s not a fun watch with your family or friends movie. idk. it’s more of a watch alone and think about your life movie. how do you view yourself and your friends ? we all get old eventually.

anyway for a real review. the writing could be better and it could be longer. to make it feel more like a movie and less like an episode of a show we’ve never seen. i can think of endings that would have been a lot more satisfying without ruining the integrity of the whole concept. i wish they had given focus on all the characters and not just five of them because the others seemed more interesting honestly. glad i watched it tho. tex was my favorite. xoxo.

it’s on netflix and i put the link to watch free in the comments

#the boys in the band #media talking #movie #movie review #lgbt history #queer community #gay men

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hopeymchope · 4 years ago

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Random Danganronpa S musings after having 24 hours to digest the announcement

— Get a load of that cover art. I’m sort of surprised that they spoil the existence of Toko’s other personality right there on the front, but I guess that’s a pretty early reveal in the very first game and it’s also heavily telegraphed in advance, so no biggie. The real question here is: WHY is Komaru so prominently shown when her starring role is the only game not included in the collection? I would fucking LOVE to later find out that we’re also getting Ultra Despair Girls in this set somehow, but I don’t think there’s any chance of that. And I seriously doubt she’s going to be integral to the events of Danganronpa S: USC. So what gives? Perhaps it’s just another way to mislead newcomers, like the prominence of Kaede and Hifumi. The entire selection of characters here is sort of curious and makes me wonder if this art already existed before now. I don’t believe I’ve previously seen it, though.

— I wonder how they’re fusing the turn-based combat into the board game this time? Obviously there shouldn’t be some random “exams” that occur at the end of a board, because the story is no longer centered around completing years of school. So what’ll be the driver behind encountering enemies? Maybe they’ll be on random board spaces?

— They showed us the screen where you can choose higher-level cards that represent more powerful versions of the game characters just like in Ultimate Talent Development Plan. But the main reason to use those rare-unlock options in UTDP was to get tougher characters for use in the Despair Dungeon. I’m not expecting a dungeon crawler to be included with this one, so what’s the purpose of the S-level cards and such? ........ Unless I really should expect dungeon crawling to be integrated into this somehow! I’m just spitballing now, but maybe we will progress through various boards, and some boards will represent dungeons/combat areas?

— Of course I assume Junko is behind the invasion of Monokuma and his army of Mono-bots. I’m quite confident that this is going to be another AU where she has a whole new plot for driving despair just like she did in UTDP/Despair Dungeon. Perhaps the entire resort trip is part of her overarching plan. We’ve already seen Junko (on the title screen) and “Junkuro” (seen above) in the screenshots so far, too, so Mukuro is presumably acting as support for Junko’s plot once more. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Tsumugi is in on the plot again as well... even though I’ve long wanted to see a version of Tsumugi who isn’t just evil. I was actually disappointed when I unlocked the scene in UTDP that revealed she was still putting on a front to hide her true nature.

— The prescence of “Junkuro” strongly implies that we won’t once AGAIN won’t get to see Mukuro as herself. :( That was one of the big disappointments of UTDP for me, although I realized at the time that UTDP was mostly made out of existing assets. However, now that they’re making a bunch of new sprites and CGs for Danganronpa S, it makes the idea of trapping Mukuro in her disguise just much harder to swallow... I hope I’m wrong and we can unlock some way to play as Mukuro as herself. UTDP at least gave us a retro sprite for her, but it doesn’t seem like it’d be that difficult to give her a proper sprite set.

— What can we glean about the gameplay from the above screenshot? What drove the player to wander into a dead end of the board? Will such dead ends potentially hide some special items, rare events, or secret pathways? Is the player’s choice to venture down there somehow connected to the “Mission” stated at the bottom? Are these “missions” going to be side objectives or the main requirements to progress? It’s also noteworthy that every image/video of the board we’ve been given shows the same section of the same board. Is there only going to be one massive board for each runthrough, or will we still see different board options/”courses”? I hope for the latter, but I could do without the Despair Course...

— Dude, I was shocked to see that Togami is ripped on the title screen. Still, I guess it’s believable enough that he’d take the time to sculpt his body as much as possible. I was much MORE shocked to see Kazuichi looking fucking CUT in the swimsuit scene. What the hell?! How many abs can you develop from mechanic work? Because I am assuming none. I guess he must work a lot of crunches into his days.

— Remember the “Future Course” in UTDP? It took a ton of time to unlock it, but I loved that there was a way to bring in the Danganronpa 3 anime-only characters, even if it was just for simplistic retro-style sprite interactions. I wonder if we’ll see anything similar with those characters in this release? They already have the retro sprites, after all! So here’s hoping for more time with the Future Foundation crew.

— Really digging the fact that you now unlock story/interaction scenes on a menu where you can rewatch them. That’s going to make the scenes I’ve experienced so much easier to track! I’d really like to see them provide some hints for any spaces on the menu that are unfilled, but I won’t hold my breath.

— The selection of characters featured in the Collector’s Edition art print is sort of random, isn’t it? When you take all three together, is there any commonality they share? This feels like the result of some Japanese fan poll that determined these to be the most beloved/marketable options or somesuch.

#danganronpa s #happy danganronpa s #danganronpa s: ultimate summer camp #danganronpa screenshots #danganronpa #dr1 spoilers #drv3 spoilers

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kingofthewilderwest · 3 years ago

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Given what you said don't ignore this from the following sentence as it wont spoil or give any ruin to anything. I finished S3 of Amphibia within the last week and going back over the series and other series I just see a lot of writers not being able to commit to longer or more in depth series. Seems like the best series are the ones that KNOW they wont be longer than 3-4 seasons. I havent been too close to many TV shows but all shows nowadays are either limited or being canceled before they do anything worthwhile

From this.

I think it's fascinating you brought that up. I was talking with a friend this week about the trend of children's animation increasingly making long-term narrative arcs, and how there seems to be less focus on episodic children's animation.

I'm going to get rambly, veer all over the place, but more or less stay prompted by what you brought up.

It makes sense we've seen a renaissance of long-term plot forms. Streaming and binge culture allows people to reliably follow a story and see every episode, right? And so we've gotten Gravity Falls, She-Ra, Amphibia, The Owl House (at least from the few episodes I've seen), you name it. Since it's a recent phenomenon that we can safely tell long-term arcs, creators will dive into the new opportunity. I think that in most animation, we're going to see them veering there because They Can Now.

I celebrate the longer plot arcs. It's made beautiful art. And it's unlike periods that came before! At the same time, I hope the pendulum will eventually swing into the center. Once the newness of long-term structure fades, maybe we'll get more balanced numbers between shows that are one form versus the other, each show picking what is best for it.

And going to what you said about long-arc execution... writers have to know they will be able to finish it, right? And with the way Western media still cancels or renews its shows... Western media can't as safely create long-term media. Which means you're limited to:

Writing plots that have the length of an episode

Writing plots that have the length of a season, max

Writing long-term narratives with a specific several season goal, and hope you'll get renewed

Writing long-term narratives, but do so within a safe contract bet (that "they KNOW / are reasonably confident it won't be longer than 3-4 seasons)

Having an "oh, we'll just write, and figure out making that ending when cancellation starts threatening us" (terrible idea)

I think good writing, structure-wise, usually knows how long it's going, because you can't have good, incremental plot scaffolding without knowing your duration. If you're doing #3, you have your scaffolding prepared, but you could get cancelled before your structuring pays off. I see #5 happen more with live action adult media, and that's often a hit and miss, because you are forced, by the uncertain world of potential cancellation or unrenewed contracts, to adlib.

Getting back to Amphibia, even without me knowing what their contract situation was, I can tell they were operating on #3 or #4. Which means it's going to work better structurally.

I think it's fascinating. While I was writing my thoughts last night about Amphibia's structure, I knew that I could write an incredibly robust post about all the ways their scaffolding works. How they successfully implemented it. Because it's very structurally sound and there's tons there. The fact I was writing, from an emotional perspective, about whether I liked it... was going in the face of everything I logically saw working.

It's hard to pinpoint and/or vocalize, studying the well-implemented structural side, why my emotions weren't 100% sold with what I got S2. I can say things like, "It feels like Hop Pop, Sprig, and Polly aren't as integrally tied to the long-term narrative as they should be, given the centrality of family messages in S1," but I can also point to plot events like Hop Pop burying the box that were intended to be central to the long-term whatnot. I still think I'm right. I still think they're not as central, because long-term it is about King Andreas and Marcy and Sasha and Anne and stuff... and what does a farming frog contribute to toads trying to dominate the land?

But in the end, my post wasn't even intending to be structural. My post wasn't intended to say "this is working well or not." Because it is working well? It's just processing, from a purely emotional perspective, that my emotions were weird. It'll be interesting, as I watch S3, whether or not my emotions will or won't align with the structural implementation.

Obviously, you, as someone who's seen S3, will know how that structure plays out. And you will know whether the structure was good. I appreciate you respecting my request to have no hints, even in the slightest, of how S3 goes down, even in vibe. Maybe I'll poke you again about structure when I have completed S3 (probably pretty soon), and talk about that phenomenon you brought up.

I do want more shows that are episodic again. That's a way to escape non-commitment to longer plot arcs, being limited, or being cancelled before going anywhere.

I don't know if I tackled anything you were thinking about, since I went all over the place. But I enjoyed your thoughts. It's cool to reflect on.

#I feel like my brain isn't working that well so I'm sorry if I am going weird directions #analysis #long post #my analysis #Amphibia #Amphibia spoilers #Amphibia S2 #Amphibia S2 spoilers #non-dragons #ask #ask me #rushthetoastyboy #always enjoy hearing from you

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chamomileteainabuttercup · 4 years ago

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beboots

How about Jangobi, with 4, 16, 36, 37?

Thanks for playing! This one is a little bit of a challenge because, as I noted before, this is a ship I don’t really think about unless a particular gifset reappears on my dash and then I think about it for like fifteen minutes. Getting it to work requires changing the plot quite a lot, of course, and I prefer to get the changes going from the very start of their interaction.

4. First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

Temuera Morrison has noted that at the beginning of the scene, his “hospitable Māori” impulse was to offer Obi-Wan a cup of tea, but since he wasn’t sure they have cups of tea in space he decided to just stick to the script.

So in my version, he does offer him a cup of tea and Obi-Wan accepts and so they sit down with their tea and it’s all rather disarming. Obi-Wan is still highly suspicious of Jango (which is only sensible) and Jango is still playing everything very close to the chest, but the mood is slightly softened by the sharing of tea - and if they’re feeling lavish, biscuits too. Obi-Wan’s head is full of questions, like “What sort of man is this? Ruthless bastard, or perhaps not totally ruthless, given the little boy? Was he involved in an assassination attempt on a rather good friend of mine? What can I find out about all this cloning business from him without letting him know how little I knew in the first place?” while Jango has two main questions, “How much does he know?” and “Am I going to have to do something about him?” And he’d rather not have to do something about him, because he likes the look of him and this kind of cagey verbal game-playing is his idea of a bit of light fun. Then again, he is a Jedi and they generally spell trouble - but there’s no reason not to enjoy being around him while the opportunity lasts.

Oh, and while this conversation is going on, Boba is sitting on the floor nearby playing with his space Lego and every time Obi-Wan glances that way he’s looking daggers of suspicion at him. Obi-Wan actually finds it rather amusing to be glared at like that by a cute little kid (he’s like an angry kitten) so he just smiles back and twinkles his eyes at him (Boba looks disgusted), and asks Jango how old his son is, and they agree that eleven’s a very nice age, before all the teen angst begins.

Jango says calmly, “I’m not expecting to have much trouble with Boba,” and Obi-Wan replies, “Ha! I wasn’t expecting to have this much trouble with Anakin,” so that gets them onto the difficulties and rewards of bringing up a bright and adventurous boy, whether as his dad or as a sort of older brother figure, and sharing stories about things Boba and Anakin have said and done, and before Obi-Wan knows it they’ve been chatting for an hour and he’s got completely side-tracked from finding out about clone skulduggery and has slipped into flirting with Jango fairly shamelessly. Which doesn’t necessarily mean anything, Obi-Wan will flirt with more or less anything that can talk back, but he’s realising that there’s an awful lot of charisma about Jango and he’s beginning to feel fascinated.

So no love at first sight, but in later years (because they do have later years together, Jango doesn’t lose his head) Obi-Wan likes to say, “You had me at ‘cuppa tea?’”

(but he really sealed the deal when he offered him a Tim Tam)

16. Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

To start out, Jango is keeping all sorts of secrets and lies freely whenever he considers it necessary, or just convenient. It’s only gradually, as he grows to like Obi-Wan personally more and more, that he begins to want to be honest with him. For a while they have one of those “frenemies who encounter one another occasionally and engage in flirtatious banter and/or homoerotic combat” type relationships, but over the course of the Clone Wars as they meet again and again they get into situations where they need to trust and help each other, and Jango has cut ties with the Separatists because he prefers to be a free agent, and Obi-Wan begins to hope that if he had a strong enough personal reason, Jango might want to lay off the shady business and... and there he runs up against the fact that he shouldn’t be thinking in these terms, he can’t have that sort of relationship with Jango any more than he could with Satine, he just really really wants to. And at least Jango doesn’t have a philosophical or ethical problem with violence.

Obi-Wan isn’t actually celibate, he squares it with himself that his flirtations and anonymous hook-ups aren’t deep attachments or possessive relationships and therefore they are within the letter if not entirely the spirit of the rules, and the first few times it happens with Jango that justification works, but it starts to wear thin when he realises how much he misses him after he leaves. When Jango, thinking he’ll surprise Obi-Wan when he unexpectedly sees him in a bar, walks in on one such hook-up, he’s angry and upset and Obi-Wan is rather shocked and thrilled to realise Jango considers this cheating, that he cares enough to have hurt feelings about it. He’d been thinking of himself as emotionally compromised without quite realising Jango couldn’t just take or leave him. That’s really the “Oh” moment for Obi-Wan.

So after a while they’re not keeping secrets from each other, but Obi-Wan is working very hard to keep the relationship a secret from the other Jedi, including his closest friends, and telling a lot of lies in the process (there is at least one comedy episode wherein Obi-Wan is trying to sneak away to see Jango and Anakin is trying to sneak away to see Padmé and each keeps getting in the other’s way without ever realising there is sneakiness on the other side).

Not to mention keeping it a secret from all the clones. Boy, is that a weird situation.

36. What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

They have excellent chemistry and both love sparking off each other, verbally and/or more physically. They always find each other exciting and interesting. Not so much a weakness as an obstacle is the fact that Boba still really doesn’t like Obi-Wan and doesn’t need a stepdad and thinks he has stupid hair (that part really stings). He’s always been the apple of his father’s eye and never had to share his attention with anyone else he really cared about, so his dad actually falling in love with someone makes him feel insecure and jealous and grumpy. Obi-Wan’s attempts to win him over are complicated by the fact that he can’t actually explain to anyone else why he’s trying so hard to be nice to snotty teen bounty hunting prodigy Boba Fett. Boba really enjoys holding this over his head - but will never actually drop the blade because, as little as he likes his dad’s boyfriend, he is just grown-up enough to realise it would really hurt his dad if he spoiled things for them, and he doesn’t want to go that far.

37. How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

That’s the big problem, isn’t it? Crossing lines. Obi-Wan has a very strong moral, religious and cultural code, and he can’t sacrifice that without undoing his whole sense of identity. He can be dangerously complacent about the rightness of the Jedi Order and the Republic it defends and persists in believing that if Jango only understood more about the Jedi he would accept that rightness. From his perspective it often appears as if Jango doesn’t have a moral code at all.

From Jango’s point of view, yes he does, but it’s very pragmatic and based more on principles of loyalty and personal integrity than on adherence to any laws or rules. If he’s true to himself and to the small circle of people he cares about, that’s all that matters. He cannot and will not compromise on his duty to Boba as a father, and that comes before even all those complicated issues of Mandalorian politics - but those issues will inevitably cause problems for them too, particularly given that even if he’s been able to get over his romantic feelings for Satine as his feelings for Jango grew, she’s still one of Obi-Wan’s oldest and dearest friends and he doesn’t want her to be overthrown. And of course Jango is far from the only person who might want to overthrow her.

Somehow all this is going to eventually involve a lightsaber/Darksaber duel between Maul and Jango in the Mandalorian throne room. Holy shit that would be cool. Fuck yeah!

uhhhh I don’t know whether or how any of this gets resolved but there’ll be ANGST and STURM UND DRANG and other German words for heavy shit.

#ask box meme #jangobi #meanwhile Anakin is fucking up his life elsewhere I'm not concerned with making that fit #Maul: KENOBIIIIIIIII #Jango: does this guy know you or something #long post (apologetic)

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ohjoyce · 2 years ago

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2022 in books

It’s been a good year in books. More waves of covid = more time spent inside reading, away from crowds of people so silver linings and all that.

Happily, I’ve also been lucky enough to have lived with and befriended fellow keen bean readers and we’ve swapped our lil paperback collections back and forth. One of my top 5 favourite feelings has got to be watching someone you know read a book you love. Up there too is chatting with a friend about a book they’ve lent you as you read it for the first time. Chef’s kiss experiences.

This year, I elected to read almost entirely for pleasure. I switched jobs two times and worked on getting into a consistent fitness routine of going to the gym 3 times a week so was not looking for anything else challenging or intellectually stimulating to do in my free time. Unfortunately, Canberra does not have very good libraries so I didn't have access to a huge variety of options. But, the library of friends came through with the goods.

Without further ado, a list of my 2022 in books in chronological order that I read them.

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennet

Quite an interesting and thought-provoking exploration of race and the extent to we are able to choose who we become. Two mixed-race twins growing up in 1950s America experience very different parallel realities as one chooses to capitalise on her lighter skin colour to pass as white. Raised questions of material comfort versus cultural integrity have no clear answers but makes for compelling food for thought.

How We Love by Clementine Ford

This book is slight departure from Clementine Ford's usual stuff-- more tender and vulnerable. Each chapter is about one of the loves in her life and it's as much a letter to a past and future selves as it is an ode to non-romantic love. I also went to her ‘Secular Love Sermon’ aka How We Love book tour show in November of this year which was maybe the best event I went to this year. Here’s to love as bearing witness to life and telling stories always.

The Dry by Jane Harper

Before this year, I hadn't read any of Jane Harper's books. This year I read them all. Goes to show how addictive and effective they are as crime thrillers. The story unfolds and weaves together to reach such a satisfying conclusion. I can't really say too much without spoiling it but Jane Harper has a wonderful way of characterising the Australian bush landscape as a focal point in her novels.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by JK Rowling, John Tiffany, and Jack Thorne

Incredibly unmemorable. It was pleasant but I can't remember a single thing on reflection.

The Survivors by Jane Harper

Not one of my favourite Jane Harper novels, but as always a great page-turning read.

After I Do by Taylor Jenkin Reid

An interesting exploration of love after marriage and the reality of the highs and lows that starts after most romance stories end. As can be clearly seen from the other books by the same author I kept picking up after this one, I really relished this unconventional premise.

Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkin Reid

I picked this up because the cover was kind of pretty and I was on a lunch-break walk to Civic Library and this was the best pleasant surprise. Something about this novel reminded me of getting deliciously absorbed into a book during school holidays — falling asleep reading and then reading again first thing in the morning. I have a big soft spot for self-made underdog stories and eldest/only daughter protagonists.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkin Reid

Absolutely devoured this story of old-school glamour, love, and disappointment. Nice and neat tie-in with the narrator/journalist’s own modern day sub-plot.

Entire ACOTAR series by Sarah J Maas.

Faerie smut that fits in just about every trope of men written by a woman for the female gaze in a good way. Very fun.

Love Stories by Trent Dalton

Touchingly earnest, Trent Dalton shows us that in hard times, sometimes the best thing to go is to choose to go soft. To choose to show and share the hurt and highs of loving and being loved that are the only things that'll matter in the end. This got me through a chaotic and draining month I worked in family law. I cried a lot.

Force of Nature by Jane Harper

Again, a lesser favourite but good fun nonetheless.

The Lost Man by Jane Harper

This one is up there, so good I reread it a week ago. The perfectly placed red herrings, the family tension, and small-town grudges and secrets. 10/10 times. I particularly enjoyed how men's mental health, loneliness, and isolation were prevalent themes. Jane Harper also sprinkles easter eggs throughout her Faulk novels which subtly intertwine the characters from her books which is fun to spot.

Milk Fed by Melissa Broder

There was a lot of online hype about this book, and the author is behind a twitter account I used to follow called 'SoSadToday' (yeah, I know bahaha). But the rather triggering portrayal of disordered eating and punitive calorie counting made this one a pretty stressful read. There was also zero sense of closure at the end, only confusion.

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

A very sweet and delightful rom-com read for those of us who are sometimes sick of the overly predictable cookie-cutter romance novel. The protagonist is very relatable and is all in all a refreshing palate cleanser to the saccharine netflix christmas holiday movie tropes.

Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

Absent of any particularly astute life advice at least in any productive sense but deeply comforting that the era of being in your twenties is as chaotic as it is character-building and all of it is normal.

The No Show by Beth O'Leary

Slightly over-complicated plot-twist but props for originality and side-plot which I may or may not have become more invested in than the main plot by the end.

Second First Impressions by Sally Thorne

A fun, quirky, alternative rom-com read with colourful characters and the evergreen message that it's more than ok to be a cosy offbeat weirdo as long as enjoy it.

No Matter Our Wreckage by Gemma Carey

Written by a now-Canberran dwelling lady academic researcher, this book reflexively documents her own childhood sexual assault and abuse. Which is to say things get very real and very dark at points. But, Gemma Carey refuses to let her story go untold and that courage glues together what is an otherwise tragic and deeply personal patchwork of recollections and tribulations.

Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney

Honestly, I can't say I'm a big Sally Rooney fan but sometimes you are having a mid time and simply want to escape into someone else's even mid-er time this hits. I can't explain it any other way.

The Switch by Beth O'Leary

I tried to listen to the audiobook of this story and didn't make it very far but when I found a copy of the paperback, I got through it quite readily. Cosy as all Beth O'Leary novels are, if the obstacle-boyfriend can be a bit characterised as a bit obviously shit.

November 9th Colleen Hoover

If you miss the days of scoffing down random wattpad stories as a tween, this is perfect.

Love and Virtue by Diana Reid

I spent on year studying at the University of Sydney in 2017 and used to always wonder what went on behind the hedges of the overpriced colleges where presumably people with very rich parents lived. This book is almost definitely a very accurate window into the answer. Having studied law and arts at Usyd herself, the

Verity by Colleen Hoover

Wtf!? Truly I was relentlessly gazumped and then bamboozled. No sense can be made of this one, it's beyond sense.

Love on the Brain by Ali Hazelwood

I've just finished this book, it might be my last read of 2022. A very sweet and escapist read (mostly for me, as a mathematically and scientifically challenged legal professional lmao). Though I will say I enjoyed Ali Hazelwood's other novel The Love Hypothesis a smidge more.

Whew, that was quite a test for my memory. Any outstandingly great or shitty reads for you in 2022? KEEN TO DISCUSS as always.

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sitp-recs · 4 years ago

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Do you know of any fics under 10k that aren’t too angsty? ❤️

Hi anon, I most certainly do! Thanks so much for sending this ask, I was super excited when I saw it because I’m always happy to celebrate short fics - they could use more appreciation! I’ve wanted to do a proper shorts reclist for a while so I indulged myself and went big, hope you don’t mind! Putting this together was quite hard - going through my bookmarks I realized that I usually go for angsty shorts 💀 so I tried my best not to include anything too extreme, I hope these are okay!

This became a lil monster with 40 recs (and I have lots more hehe) so I decided to sort them by genre - the last category includes light angst (more on the contemplative side) because I can’t help myself. Shout-out to @tackytigerfic for giving me a 2nd opinion and helping me polish this - and for being a darling in general. Happy readings!

ROMANCE/COMFORT

1. Sun Stroke by @peachpety (2020, E, 3k)

Warm, sexy and wholesome, this fic makes my heart soar with the magical beach setting, amazing friendship dynamics and the sweet get together with a delicious side of smut!

2. oxygen [Fic & Art] by @maesterchill (2020, T, 4k)

Tentative acquaintances become something more over a shared smoke at the balcony. Sexy, mature, deliciously atmospheric and full of promise - plus Healer Draco is always a treat!

3. Catch the Snitch (No, Catch My Heart) by @prolix- (2020, E, 4.5k)

Gorgeous bath fic where Harry and Draco just... take care of each other. The raw emotion packed here! Lush and vivid build up with stunning body worship, hot and intimate and breathtaking.

4. Thermodynamic Equilibrium by DorthyAnn (2017, T, 5k)

This quiet comfort fic gives our boys some well deserved healing through physical touching and late night companionship. Love the 8th year atmosphere, soothing and familiar.

5. Blue Sky Is Living Here Today by ignatiustrout (2018, G, 5k)

The loveliest kid fic you’ll see today - real characters, gentle longing, soft understanding. It’s a joy to watch dad Draco through Harry’s smitten eyes, as he realizes there’s no rush to live that love.

6. Gravity Centered by @carpemermaidtales (2019, E, 6.7k)

Possibly my favorite Quidditch fic, this has an original premise and amazing Drarry dynamics, casual and organic, sassy and familiar, with a perfect lil twist at the end!

7. Up The by @shiftylinguini (2018, E, 7.5k)

One of the funniest PWPs I’ve ever read, clever and charming with easy banter and delicious smut. A sweet and sexy glimpse into the Drarry married life! Cw Mpreg

8. And a Malfoy in a Pear Tree by lauren3210 (2015, E, 8k)

Sweet sweet coffee shop Christmas romance! Love the light and fun atmosphere, the easy banter and cute wooing while supportive Ron cheers in the background, what a treat!

9. Ice Snakes, Glow-worms and Wolverine Stew by khalulu (2015, M, 8.4k)

Khalulu writes the softest Drarry, it never fails to put a smile on my face. This has a gentle and sweet get together, with lovely slow burn, a gorgeous San Francisco setting and matchmaker Kreacher 💗

10. Life goes not backward by @shealwaysreads (2020, T, 8.8k)

This delicate comfort fic has a special way to tug at my heartstrings - a gorgeous tale about found family and the unexpected wonders of life. Gentle, magical and breathtaking in its simplicity.

HUMOUR

11. in charge by @bonesliketambourines (2020, E, 2.4k)

The ultimate brat Draco, bossy and confident and absolutely gorgeous with his long hair and impossible snark. Charming and funny, this packs so much character and domestic bliss under 3k! Perfect spoiled Draco is perfect.

12. The Morning After by birdsofshore, capitu (2015, M, 5.3k)

This is hysterical and so delightfully creative - Draco exploring Harry’s kitchen and charming a prudish appliance is the kind of cute, silly endeavor I need with my morning coffee!

13. The Spoiling of Sex From Enthusiastic Ignorance by @cibeewastaken (2020, E, 6k)

I’m impossibly enamored with Cibee’s drama queen Draco and his passionate missions! This time he’s decided to get some good diq, and the dialogue and mutual pining will make you smile from beginning to end.

14. All Tied Up by MyNameIsThunder (2020, M, 6k)

This is a secret relationship delight! Sneaking around gets so much better when dramatic Blaise is losing his shit to protect the Council of Serpents’ integrity! A+ faux-drama, super fun and sweet.

15. Luckiest Fucking Size Queen Alive by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (2016, E, 6.2k)

My favorite brand of thirsty and chaotic Draco; being inside his mind is such a crazy ride and you won’t stop laughing for a second. Amazing dialogue and insanely scorching smut as per loveglows’ usual 🤤

16. Sex Ed for Aurors by curiouslyfic (2010, M, 8.7k)

This is a Harry triumph, so fun and charming! Here he’s the one chaotic and thirsty, for a change - I’m obsessed with his internal ranting under the lust potion. Brilliant narrative and top notch characterization, a classic!

17. Ferocious Determination, Insufficient Deliberation, and a Slightly Wrong Destination by Faith Wood (2012, E, 9.5k)

Drunk Draco has never been so absurd and I LOVE it! This goes from hilarious to vulnerable and sweet in a heartbeat; pining Draco is a precious thing and Harry’s gentle persistence made my heart swell.

18. Stand Back: I'm About to Perform Archaeology by Blowfish_Diaries (2018, E, 9.7k)

This fic could definitely use more appreciation - I had a blast with Draco’s hilarious voice and their cute married banter! The plot is quite original and I love the 8th year domestic vibes.

19. The Full Monty by @magpiefngrl (2017, E, 9.8k)

The calendar fic we deserve 👏🏻 this is ultimate thirsty Draco being completely obliterated by Harry’s casual attractiveness but mostly by his kind heart and big smile. One of my favorite comfort reads, hilarious, sweet and so damn sexy, the full monty combo is here!

20. Aural Gratification by birdsofshore (2014, E, 10k)

This fic is a classic, charming and hysterical with an adorable Harry thirsting over Draco’s smooth voice. Such an original concept and engaging read, not to mention the rewarding shade of smut!

SMUT

21. Tense by Faith Wood (2013, E, 3k)

Me, reading smut for the dialogue? It’s more likely than you think 😂 this fic is hilarious and hot all at once, with perfect banter and clever dialogue, really a smut triumph!

22. Under Your Skin by @p1013 (2020, Explicit, 4k)

Great premise and the sexiest build up, ugh so much teasing and anticipation as pierced Draco takes Auror Harry’s control away 🔥kudos at the A+ twist and promising ending!

23. The Slytherin Urn by @icmezzo (2015, E, 4.6k)

This fic’s geniality slaps me in the face, what a fascinating concept! Redemption kink and magical theory walk together as Harry loses his mind over competent Draco doing some badass curse-breaking ritual.

24. Once Bitten by Frayach (2012, E, 5.6k)

Still one of the hottest things I’ve ever read, lush and raw and absolutely breathtaking. Dark and tender at once, it explores biting kink with unapologetic precision and I love that!

25. Matched Set by astolat (2016, E, 5.7k)

One of my faves by the genius astolat, this is a perfect mix of hot size kink, A+ dirty talk and a brilliant and nuanced plot showing how Harry navigates his post-war reality. A must-read!

26. Teeth by @amelior8or (2020, E, 6k)

This fic is an emotional rollercoaster and goes from light-hearted and casual to vulnerable and tender in a second. Hot and intimate feat scorching wall sex, gut-punching lines and enthusiastic consent🔥

27. Born Slippy by @dracoladon (2020, E, 8.3k)

My favorite clubbing fic ever, clever and sensual, a master class in UST including the drunk haze confusion and panty kink as a treat! I can’t even talk about this fic without blushing 😳

28. The Page Eleven Wars by fireflavored (2010, E, 8.5k)

Competitive boys fighting for dominance both in bed and at the gossip column’s first page This is peak enemies to lovers: witty banter, hot smut screaming switching rights and feisty stubborn idiots finally getting over their asses.

29. The Things They Never Say by @bixgirl1 (2017, E, 9k)

Angry porn with (many) feels, this feels like a punch to the solar plexus. The explosive Drarry chemistry gives way to something quieter and gentler and full of longing, ugh but it aches so good. Absolutely exquisite!

30. Sweet Indulgence by @the-sinking-ship (2020, E, 10k)

The title says it all; this is a lush and charming read, with chaotic but nuanced Draco pining over authoritative, edgy Harry 😳 steaming pent up tension that culminates in glorious semi-public smut, is your body ready?

CONTEMPLATIVE/SOFT ANGST

31. Sharing a Pack by sugar_screw (2016, E, 2.7k)

A fully fleshed-out love story in less than 3k, with complex characters and powerful feels. Raw, poignant and unbelievably romantic.

32. Still Life by orphan_account (2019, M, 3k)

A superb and gut-punching story where Harry realizes all the little things that make Draco so very different from him - and falls in love anyway. Powerful in its simplicity and concise elegance.

33. Harmony (Left-Handed Melody Remix) by mindabbles (2010, M, 5.8k)

Draco finds his way post-war and Harry meets him in the middle. Aching and bittersweet but also hopeful, with a delicious side of coconut cake, Harry in black robes and Romeo & Juliet as soundtrack.

34. Let Me Have You and I'll Let You Save Me by Frayach (2012, M, 6k)

Enemies to lovers deluxe version! Come and feast on this original narrative, amazingly clever, rich and detailed, telling us an unlikely but inevitable love story.

35. A Pain of Our Choosing by @lqtraintracks (2020, E, 6k)

Broken boys fucking through their issues and healing together during the post-war is so my jam! A+ LQT goodness, this fic is evocative and quietly devastating, but full of feels and hope.

36. Our Little Life by @tackytigerfic (2020, M, 7k)

I’ve screamed about this brilliant fic recently; inventive, poignant and utterly romantic, this fic shows all the ways in which Harry and Draco find each other across space and time.

37. the keys to your kingdom by thistle_verse (2016, E, 7.5k)

A beautiful love story packing an impressive amount of character, conflict and emotion. We are invited to witness as work partners Harry and Draco finally take a leap of faith and grow out of their casual arrangement.

38. Clear As Mud by scoradh (2005, M, 9.8k)

Subtle and heart-wrenching, the sharp and clever narrative creates fascinating dynamics between this brilliantly written Draco and poor oblivious Harry trying to make sense out of it. An all-time fave. Cw: infidelity (not Drarry).

39. fine i'll hold my breath / til i forget it's complicated by teatrolley (2015, E, 10k)

Fucks buddies gone wrong but make it soft so we get to watch as pining Draco patiently waits for Harry to get the memo. Sweet and intimate, with lots of late night talks and comfortable silence.

40. Tidings of Comfort series by @blamebrampton (2012, G, 10k)

Quietly cathartic and atmospheric, this fic is a poignant balm to the soul; such a beautiful tone, such lovely interactions! A must-read for those who enjoy church settings, honest talks and redeemed Draco. All-time fave.

#anon #asks #drarry reclist #short fics #fics under 10k

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 4 years ago

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Alt S5b Plot Bunny, Denouement Pt 2

In the months that follow, Lena makes a complete recovery, and resumes her rightful place at LuthorCorp. This time, the rebranding process is punctuated not by restless nights spent alone in her office, but curled up on the couch with Jack. He remains a stolid presence at her side, with Spheerical Industries among the first to partner with the newly branded L-Corp. Together, they help rebuild the city alongside its heroes.

Six months later Lena is honored by the city, with a charity gala thrown in her name to benefit an organization of her choice. Cameras flash when Jack helps Lena exit the limosine.

Together they make a striking couple, he in a dapper brocade tux and she in a dress that hangs long and fluid against her skin. She still bears the scars of her fight with Lex, both visible and not, but all anyone can see-- all Kara can see-- is her radiant happiness as she smiles and greets the crowd.

When Supergirl drops in to make an appearance, Lena's smile somehow broadens. She sweeps Kara into a hug, eschewing any professional boundaries they'd previously maintained in the public eye.

"Congratulations," Kara murmurs. She pulls back to look Lena in the eye. "You deserve this."

"I couldn't have done it-- any of it-- without you," Lena counters. Her hands grasp Kara's gently. "You believed in me from the very beginning."

Kara nods. It's taken a long time to heal from the fallout of her secret, and longer still for Lena to believe that their friendship until then hadn't been a ruse. But they've come back together, both publicly and privately, and Kara knows she'll never take their friendship for granted again.

"Always," she promises. She looks to Jack, meeting his gaze with a solemn nod. "Both of you."

"You still on for dinner on Friday?" Jack asks. "I've got a new recipe I've been keeping in reserve I think you'll like."

The fact Jack could cook had come as a surprise. Kara had assumed he would be as preoccupied as Lena, too busy to do anything more than order take out from the swanky restaurants around the city. But having already experienced the spoils of his labor, Kara beams with anticipation.

"Wouldn't miss it," she promises. "And game night next week?"

"We'll be there," Jack confirms.

They'd both seamlessly integrated into the Superfriends game nights. Jack proved to be personable with everyone he met, and it wasn't long before he and Brainy had struck an unlikely bond. And Lena... Lena should have been included long ago, Kara now realizes. She belonged with them, in every way that matters.

"Have a good time tonight," Kara told them both. She looks to Lena. "Save me a dance?"

"Sorry, Supergirl, I'm afraid my dance card is already quite full," Jack quips with a grin, earning a light smack on the arm from Lena.

"Don't be a stranger, Supergirl," she says warmly. "We wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

"Tonight is your night," Kara reminds her. "Embrace it."

Lena smiles, leaning into Jack with a happy, exasperated sigh. Jack wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"Congratulations, Lena. I mean it."

Lena's smile softens. "Thank you," she says quietly.

When Supergirl launches back into the air, her heart is full. She has her friend, her family. Lena has Jack in her life, a continuous source of love and adoration. For all that they had been through, all it had taken to get them to here...

Kara wouldn't change it for the world.

#spheercorp #alt s5b #plot bunny #sike this is the end #i decided i wanted to see a glimpse of lena and jack as national citys power couple #also i wanna see jack in a nice tux #that would be dope #btw seeing lena happy brings me joy

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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years ago

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Title: Partners {6}***

OA Zidan/Zeeko Zaki x Reader

Warning: Cursing, Fluff, Angst, Talk of Sex Trafficking, Plot, NSFW, SMUT,

ALL STARS on The NSFW Meter, DO NOT READ AT WORK

Words: 7k

Summary: You’re a damn good FBI agent in your own right. It is definitely partly to do with how well you’ve been trained and partly to do with you not letting anything or anyone distract you. You have a six-year plan that you’re fast-tracking for four. After being transferred from your office in Tampa, you’ve been sent to New York, which you’ve labeled the “big leagues.” Your first day there, after being introduced to your new partner OA Zidan you realized you’ve moved out of the frying pan right into the pot of distraction. A year later and your growing attraction for your partner still hasn’t been snuffed out.

Note: This is a first for me writing about a TV show and interjecting into it. Let’s see how this goes. I hope you guys enjoy this. As always, thank you for reading.

If you enjoyed this please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

~~~~~~~~~~~

His hand gripped the nape of your neck and squeezed. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt you, but it was just enough for you to clench around him as a new gush of wetness eased his glide. Every time OA’s hips slapped against your ass, his grip would tighten then loosen as he retreated to repeat the action again and again. He knew what he was doing. This new status of your relationship was new, but he’d been paying attention to every single cue your body gave to tell him what you liked, didn’t like, and what drove you insane. When he slammed forward and rotated his hips, your reflex was to lurch forward away from him.

“Fuck,” you forcefully whispered.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice was filled with concern as he began to pull out. Gripping around him, you kept him where he was.

“No, just--.”

OA bent over your back, pressing his chest onto you before he kissed your ear.

“Can’t take it?”

His voice was so damn deep and seductive. Your belly did backflips as you turned your face to the side to look at him.

“You tell me. I thought I was taking it very well,” you countered. OA’s smile was wide before he pressed his lips to yours to passionately kiss you. Just as t, you were getting into it, he pulled his lips from you and kissed a trail down your spine.

Deciding to tease him, you winded your hips against him, eliciting a satisfied “ah” from him. Peeping back at him, he had his head dropped back with his eyes closed, enjoying the sensations your movement gave him. Slowly you began to move back and forth. You knew he was close. You’d paid close attention to the cues his body gave too. The veins bulging in his neck said he was really close. You sped up and forcefully crashed your ass onto him. It quickly turned into you chasing your release while trying to please him.

OA’s grip on your hips tightened, and you knew what was coming. He quickly pumped into you, sending goosebumps across your skin. Your moans got louder, and soon, you were calling his name louder and louder until your release took over. OA groaned and slammed into you with four staggered thrusts. That was when your knees gave out. OA dropped back onto the bed, taking you with him to cuddle up to your back.

“To think we almost missed out on this,” OA said before he kissed your shoulder blade.

You let his words sink in as you snuggled closer. You couldn’t get close enough.

“Was there a time when you almost--,” you paused, trying to find the word.

“Pushed you into an office or an alley and kissed you?”

You snorted. “I guess.”

“There were a few times. Do you remember the hostage case? We got the perp in integration, and you took the lead, I remember watching in the other room and the way you got into his head and flipped every single notion he had and reason he had to protect the other guy had my jaw dropped. Then when he sang like a canary, I couldn’t believe it. I went in after they’d taken him, and I was so close,” OA confessed.

“What stopped you?”

“The cameras.”

You busted out laughing with him joining in. Slowly it dawned on you what your reality was, and you got silent.

“Are you thinking about it?”

“About what?”

“You know what,” OA pressed as he kissed your neck.

He smelled so good you doubted you’d ever want to be too far from him. Even that thought had you rolling your eyes.

“Thinking about the fact that this is against every rule? Or thinking about the fact that if anyone finds out about this, then there will be consequences? Or thinking about--.”

OA rolled on top of you and pressed your hands above your head, stopping your words.

“I don’t care about the rules or the consequences.”

You didn’t know how he could even say that. He’d worked his ass off to get where he was today. He’d put up with an incredible amount of shit to be the agent he was. How could he be so ready for it to be for nothing? The way he stared at you said he saw the panic in you. Biting your bottom lip, you pushed against his hands, finding little to no resistance. You cupped his bearded jaw and brought his head to you and kissed him.

You got enveloped in the kiss and rolled onto him. You decided to focus on here and now with him. You wanted to enjoy him fully without any nagging thoughts of what reality held for you come Monday morning or even beyond. Neither of you was going to put voice to the things you knew about the dangers of you getting entangled.

You awoke to the soft sound of a sitar and the aroma of cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, and other spices that screamed comfort. As you stretched, you noted how sore your muscles were. You climbed out of bed and threw on your robe then walked toward the music. You had no idea what time it was, but it was still light outside. When you rounded the corner, there was OA in your kitchen in nothing but his boxer-briefs cooking up a storm.

It was a beautiful sight, one you were not accustomed to. He was the first man to grace your apartment, let alone your kitchen and bed. Slowly you let your eyes drink in every inch of his beautiful skin. He was perfect. You got lost in your thoughts and gawking over him that you didn’t realize he’d turned around and was doing some gawking of his own. OA cleared his throat loudly, bringing your eyes to his.

“Yeah, you’ve been caught.”

Embarrassment filled you as you covered your face. “No, don’t hide. Own what a pervert you are.”

You laughed loudly, then glared at him.

“Come on, the price for voyeurism is a dance.”

“Oh no, I can’t dance to this,” you protested.

“Lies. Remember when we all went to that Egyptian place, and everyone had a turn with dancing?”

You slapped yourself in the head because you did remember. You had the guts to get up and dance that night.

“You held your own. I remember those moves. Come on,” OA coaxed.

Rolling your eyes because you knew he would never let it go, you walked to him and took his outstretched hands then began moving your hips to the beat the best you could. As soon as you found your rhythm, the music picked up, and OA was leading you around the kitchen in a traditional and modern mix of an Egyptian dance. In no time, you got into it and tapped into your inner belly dancer. When OA pulled up behind you, you rolled your hips then circled them before you jerked them to the beat. The two of you dance around the kitchen together, having a great time. The song was a really good one; you couldn’t lie.

By the end of it, you and OA were laughing together while he hugged you to him.

“See, you’d fit right in. my aunts would love you.”

That sounded serious. Your eyes met, and both of you realized it then. He kissed your nose, then your forehead enhancing the intensity of the moment.

“It smells incredible. What’re you making?”

“Mm, lunch, kofta, or meat on a stick it’s a beef kabab, a red lentil soup, and Aish Baladi, which is a flatbread,” OA listed.

“Wow. You cooked all of this?”

“Yes. I can cook.”

“Wow. I had no idea. I thought in your culture it was all about finding a beautiful wife who could make all of this for you,” you teased. His adorable dimples broke out.

“Yeah. If you ask my umi, then yes, that is what a textbook good wife would be able to do. If you ask me, though, I’d like to spoil my woman.” He kissed your cheek and carried a trail to your neck.

“Oh, I bet you would.” a giggle escaped you as he nibbled your skin.

“Come on, gorgeous, let me feed you,” OA said as he walked away but not before he dropped a slap to your ass.

He gathered plates and utensils as you pried even more into the pots curiosity getting the better of you. When OA realized it, he ushered you away from the pots and put the dishes in your hands, prompting you to set the table that was in the kitchen by the window. For the next few minutes, you worked in silence, him finishing the details on lunch and you making the table presentable. It all felt so domestic and normal like it wasn’t strange that the two of you had just fallen into this situation. It felt like you’d been doing this the entire year.

OA served you filling your plate with kofta and Aish Baladi before he filled your soup bowl with lentil soup. The scents melded together so nicely that you could not wait to taste his handiwork.

“I’m so hungry.”

“I bet. What else do you expect after having sex on every inch of this place?”

Your jaw dropped at the call out. “It takes two to tango, thank you very much,” you countered. OA smiled widely. When he sat, you went for your utensils but stopped.

“We say prayer right?”

OA smiled, showcasing those enviable dimples again. “Ideally.”

“Okay, come on. Show me.”

You watched what he did and mirrored him exactly. With his hands held out palms up, he closed his eyes and said a quick prayer in Arabic that you did your best to repeat the look on his face said he was impressed. Once he was finished, you waited for him to continue. The way he looked at you had you ready to blush.

“After you,” he insisted. You took up your kofta and bit into it, moaning as the spices hit your taste buds.

“My goodness, this is really good.”

“My mother’s recipe.”

The two of you ate and joked together like you’d done this every since day since you’d met. He told you more about his family, which included his headstrong sisters, who he worried most about constantly. As he spoke about them, you could see how much he loved them and his entire family. Your mother told you that if you were going to settle down with anyone, make sure they loved their family above everything else. It was clear he loved them this much. He asked about your family, and you told him, finding it easier to open up to him now than it had been any time before.

It was as if you thought if he didn’t know too much about you, it would keep him at a distance. Like the line would somehow be crossed if you told him about your childhood and your friends back in Miami. It was ridiculous thinking about it now, especially since you’d jumped over that line in a way that could not be ignored. You liked this side of him. He looked perfect, sitting shirtless, eating his childhood favorites, and talking about the things that made him happy. Listening to him made you happy.

When both of you’d stuffed your bellies to damn near capacity, you found yourselves in the bathtub making out like a couple of horny teenagers who’d just discovered sex. When kissing got too hot, and both of you became too flustered, OA would showcase just how good he was with his hands. He massaged every inch of you, dissolving every knot in your body. With your back to his chest and you seated between his legs, he kissed your skin and whispered nothing but the sweetest words that a girl could easily get used to.

After a bath, you sat in the living room with the intention of watching something on TV. Those intentions quickly changed. Neither of you could keep your hands off of each other. Neither of you could go longer than five minutes without giggling or making some form of contact, whether it being eye, or physical. You felt like a schoolgirl who was head over heels with the popular guy in school that was showing her she meant the world to him.

For the tenth time you tried to focus on the TV and not his scent that refused to stay on his side of the couch or the sight of his colossal thighs spread next to you. his lap looked like the perfect seat and his face like the only throne you’d ever need.

“Fuck it,” OA grunted before he pounced you, to your delight.

In seconds you both were naked yet again with your arms wrapped around his neck, and his lips fastened to yours. He kissed you with meaning like you were the beginning and the end for him. You matched him emotion for emotion, desperation for desperation. You were practically obsessed with the way he tasted, and it hadn’t even been seventy-two hours yet. As he kissed you, your hand slowly trailed down his chest and torso, pressing every slope and dip to memory. If temptation and hedonism were a person, he would be it. In a matter of minutes, OA was nestled snugly in your heat, completely filling and stretching you.

His slow and deep thrusts brought goosebumps to your skin and sucked the oxygen right out of your lungs. The soft music in the background set the perfect tone for the sultry transference you were engaged in.

“I don’t think I can ever get enough of you,” OA groaned out as he thrust into you at the most torturous speed. You felt every single inch of him as he stretched you.

“Ever?”

“Ever. Uuugh, jeez!” OA rotated his hips, making you moan loudly as your back arched off the couch.

“Mmm, you drive me crazy, you know that,” OA panted before thrusting forward again stroking that part of you that instantly sparked your body to come alive in a hyperactive state of arousal, making you again arch your back. You reached out needing to touch him in some way, but with one of his hands, OA grabbed yours and pinned them to the back of the couch, trapping you.

You didn’t know how it was possible, but that one action made you want him even more than you already did. His thrust stayed at the same pace. He languidly stroked into you softly, commanding your body to do whatever he wanted. If he wanted it to overheat, all he had to do was rotate his hips to touch spots in you that you didn’t even know you had. If he wanted to steal your breath and have your soul leave your body, all he had to do was fill you to the hilt. The man knew what he was doing, and it showed in everything he did. His kisses were not kisses of an amateur. They were kisses of a grown man, a man who knew how to listen to and follow the cues of a woman’s body.

Every time you tried to move from his grip, OA stopped and waited for you to settle down. When you refused, you’d stare into his eyes, trying to convince him to let you go or speed up, but OA was in no mood to listen. His one goal seemed to be to drive you insane. OA stared down at you with his bottom lip hooked in his mouth and intense eyes penetrating you so profoundly you were sure he could see the contents of your soul. He retreated, leaving just a just the tip of his intrusion. You bucked against him, trying to get the friction you needed.

OA used his free hand to hold your waist, stopping your feeble attempts to use his body for your own pleasure, then stroke full speed ahead, sending your breasts jerking. Your gasp was loud, and the clench around him tight, so tight his groan was long. Using his weakened state against him, you pushed him to the side, flipping him to the couch. Before he regained control, you straddled, putting him right where you wanted him. You pressed your hands on his chest for brace as your body rolled through the pleasure.

“Not so strong now, huh?”

OA smiled through his pleasure, then licked his lips, tempting you more. “You found my weakness and took advantage,” he teased.

“And what weakness is that Special Agent Zidan?” You slowly rolled your hips and fought the urge to moan. He felt so good.

OA’s hands gently gripped your waist when you began taking control of his pleasure. What began as slow rolls of your hips turned into energetic circles that had no reason to them but to make him shout your name. Every so often, you slowed it down, never allowing him to predict your next move. With every roll and buck of your hips, OA’s jaw dropped more and more while his eyes rolled back further and further.

When you began bouncing on him, his curses began, but they remain strangled in his throat.

“I can’t hear you,” you teased, speeding up your bounce. Every time you dropped back onto him, you forcefully did it hard enough that a shiver rushed through you. OA’s hands moved from your waist to your hips to hold you. As soon as they squeezed, you stopped.

“Uugh, please don’t stop.”

“Keep your hands on the back of that couch, or I will leave you to finish this yourself,” you warned.

The look in his eyes screamed defiance, while the smirk on his lips said he liked this side of you. As he bit his bottom lip, he slowly removed his hands to grip the back of the couch. The way the cushion sunk underneath the pressure of his hand said he was holding it dangerously tight, showing you just how close he was to flipping you back over to show you just who was stronger.

OA slid his body a little lower, so his back was angled and neck tilted downward.

“Such a good boy,” you coaxed with a cocky smile as you began to bounce on him again only this time, starting from the beginning with slow teasing swirls of your hips. After circles, you rolled them in a figure eight; after that, you combined the two until you gradually sped up.

You loved the sounds he made. He was not shy about letting you know just how good you were making him feel. Every change you made, his back arched. Every time you clenched around him, his grip tightened, sending all the veins in his arms bulging.

“What is your weakness, Omar?”

The clench in his jaw said he liked the way you said his name. In truth, you liked the way it felt. Swirling your hips against him, you expected him to cave—he did not.

“Won’t tell me?”

OA bit his bottom lip and dropped his head back, giving you perfect access to his neck. Hovering over his chest, you licked across his Adam’s apple along his skin, collecting the droplets of sweat that littered his skin. Once at his neck, you bit the flesh and sucked it into your mouth. OA groaned again before he brought his head back down to capture your lips and claim them as his. From the beginning, the kiss was erotic and blazing hot. Your tongues danced together; when yours twisted around his, he sucked on yours controlling who had the power. You’d always suspected he was a tease, and he was showing you just how much of one he was. His kisses did what they always did, made you dizzy, and distracted, making you almost forget what you were trying to do—almost.

You quickly pulled away from him and went to his ear. “Nice try. My interrogation practices are undefeated,” you whispered before you gently nibbled his ear. You intended to slip away, but OA was quicker. He pulled you to him and kissed you stupid, stepping his game all the way up. You were so open for him that you didn’t care who took control.

“You forget who I am,” OA gruffly spoke with your faces mere centimeters from each other.

“And you seem to not know who I am,” you countered, clenching around him again. OA sucked in a sharp breath as his eyebrows knitted together. “Put them back,” you ordered drunk off the power you possessed. You knew if he genuinely wanted to, he could have flipped you onto the couch and had you screaming “fuck me” in the six languages you were conversational in.

OA groaned but didn’t obey right away; instead, he nudged his hips up, thrusting into you to remind you just how good he could make you feel. One thrust was more than tempting enough to give in, but you didn’t become who you were by caving at the first sign of pressure. OA’s smile was playful as he put his hands back onto the back of the couch.

Fully drunk off of the power you held, you got lost in the music playing and teased him mercilessly. OA’s eyes never left you and your body. He watched you as if you were the best show he’d ever seen. You knew what he wanted without him saying a word. When he wanted you to go fast, you went slower. When his eyes pleaded with you to bounce, you bucked. After a few minutes, he looked to be on the verge of taking what he wanted to hell with you giving it. You didn’t know if you were more excited at that prospect or afraid. As you sped, you locked eyes with him.

“What’s your weakness?”

He was close to cracking, you could tell, but instead of telling you, he remained silent. You braced your hands on his torso and wildly rode him determined to make him speak. OA’s moans tumbled from him one after the other. The setting sun shone through the window and bathed your skin in its glow, highlighting the sweat that decorated your bodies. Your own orgasm was quickly creeping up on you, and you weren’t sure who would crack first. Once you thought it, OA slid further down the couch until it was just his back on the seat, and that was when his hips rose to meet you in one quick thrust.

His thrust came one after the other until he was pummeling into you. As you panted, the whine in your voice got louder and louder until you were damn near breathless. With one hand, OA gripped your hip steadying you so he controlled your body and controlled just how deeply he delivered your pounding. His other hand sank into the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling your head back just enough to tell you that you were at his mercy now.

Any control either of you possessed before was gone. Both of you were moaning and grunting at the top of your lungs, not caring who heard or who had a problem with how loud you were. The pleasure you felt was all-consuming and maddening all at the same time. You frantically chased your release just as fiercely as OA chased his.

“You!” OA’s shout was sudden. “You’re my weakness, Y/N. You make me weak,” he confessed in a rush.

No words had ever held more power than those from him to you. You bucked against him in no coherent fashion, as if you were riding a mechanical bull. He met your movements with his own penetrating thrusts, which only propelled you more forcefully into the orgasmic cloud that was so close to you.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

Ignoring the faint sound, you remained in the bubble of sensual pleasure the two of you were wrapped in. The knocking persisted and even got louder. Soon it was too loud to ignore; your body fell out of sync with his, and your movements staggered and clashed with his. OA’s frustration was evident with his loud grunt.

“Hold that thought,” you panted out, trying to catch your breath. You stood sliding off of his length. Glistening, it bobbed in the air between you, distracting you. OA brought his hand to it and slowly stroked himself.

“This thought?”

You smiled and fell for the trap. You slid back onto him, throwing your head back, relishing in the complicated mix of pleasure and a dull ache that only he could produce. You rocked back and forth several times, forgetting the knocks and ringing of the doorbell. You tried to focus only on him, and just when both of you were finding your synchronized stride, the doorbell obnoxiously rang back to back.

“Fuck!”

OA’s frustration over the interruption had you giggling. He shot you a warning look.

“I guarantee you won’t be laughing in a little while,” he promised before he pumped up into you, making you whimper. He didn’t stop with one stroke; he did it again and again. Just when you were going to hover over him, another knock came from the door.

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Both you and OA kissed your teeth in annoyance. Sighing, you stood from him and swung your leg over him, ready to find your robe. When you bent to retrieve it, OA dropped a heavy-handed slap to your ass, which had you biting your bottom lip ready to leave whoever was at the door there for however long it took for you to get yours.

“Get rid of em’—quick,” OA instructed.

You smirked, “Oh, have plans, huh?”

With a smirk of his own, he nodded, “A few and they involve several of your body parts.”

You gasped and pressed your hand to your chest. “Agent Zidan!”

OA smiled and watched you tie the robe around you before you walked from him down the hall to the door. Forgetting to look at the video feed of your front door, you opened it with a lazy smile to see Kristen.

“Kristen!”

Like cold water, your sex induced haze dissipated, leaving you wide-eyed.

“I’ve been knocking and ringing for like three minutes. What’re you doing in there?”

You pulled the door closer behind you blocking her view. “What’s happening?”

“Nothing. What’s up?” You tied to look as calm as possible. “Why’re you here?”

Kristen studied you for a few moments, then looked to your attire, and her face lit up. “Do you have a guy in there?”

“What? No. It’s nothing. I was—resting,” you lied.

“With the screams and shouts, I heard that’s doubtful.”

You pinched your lips and tried to remain collected to not give anything away.

“What’s going on?”

“I’ve been trying to get in touch. Did you hear OA is okay?”

“Yeah. I saw the message briefly before I fell asleep. I’ve been trying to catch up on some sleep,” you expertly lied.

“Well, everyone’s been called to assemble at the JOC. We couldn’t reach you or OA for that matter. I said I’d come by and grab you,” Kristen informed.

“Wow, I haven’t heard from him. He’s gotta be resting after what he’s been through.”

Kristen nodded, accepting your guesses.

“Yeah. So do you wanna change?”

You grabbed the collar of the robe and nodded. “Yeah. I’m gonna grab a shower too. I’ll meet you at HQ,” you said.

“Sounds good. You should hurry, it’s Sunday, and it sounded urgent,” Kirsten finished.

“Got it! Thanks, Kristen.”

You smiled at her as she began walking away. You wanted to make sure she was actually leaving. When you were sure, you walked back into your apartment and locked the door. When you walked back into the living room, the first sight of OA still laying there with his member still out and so damn inviting had you forgetting Kristen’s words.

“You and I have very different definitions of quick,” OA teased. “Come here.” He stroked himself a few times, reigniting the flame within you that the impromptu visit had doused.

“God, you look so tempting.”

“Let me tempt you then,” OA coaxed. You whined and watched him stand and walk to you. Once before you, he easily lifted you into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist and moaned when you felt his giant hands grip your ass to hold you onto him.

“We gotta go, that was Kristen, we’ve been summoned,” you informed. OA didn’t look phased.

“They can wait a little longer,” he whispered before he sheathed himself in your soaping core.

Both of you released a satisfied sigh as if there was nowhere in the world, either of you would rather be. OA took the lead and moved your body as he wished. He began slowly stroking into you, using his lower half as a wave reaching depths inside of you that had you whimpering as you held him to you. When you whimpered, he mewled. When you clenched around him, he slammed into you, holding you steady so you felt every inch of him.

It didn’t take long for either of you to be at the precipice of your undoing. You felt the wall at your back, and that was when OA hammered into you with the speed of a roadrunner. In seconds you shouted out as your orgasm overtook you and pulled you so deep in the sea of gratifying pleasure that you didn’t care if you drowned in it. Long minutes passed with both of trying to catch your breath and regain your strength. Once you did, OA brought you both to the shower, where you washed each other, trying your best not to get lost in each other yet again.

After a shower, OA dressed and reluctantly left you. It took him several attempts to get through the door, thanks to his sticky fingers trying to get you back into the bed or on the couch or even against the wall. His will was strong, and you were finding you were so corruptible when it came to him. Once he was gone, it took you some time to come down from the thirteenth cloud you were on. You kept replaying the last near forty-eight hours and everything that happened and all that you felt. Needless to say, it was challenging to get your head out of the clouds and back into professional mode.

By the time you made it to the JOC, it was almost an hour and a half since Kristen had stopped by. You did your best to hammer into your head to act as if everything was the same, and nothing had changed. When you walked into the office, you politely smiled at everyone and greeted them as you made it to your desk.

“Y/N, wonderful you were able to join us,” Isobel shouted out, acknowledging your presence. “Any idea where OA is?”

“No, no clue.”

“Here, here, sorry. I’m here,” OA called out as he pushed through everyone to show his face. You kept your eyes forward, not confident you could keep the smile off your face.

“Glad that you’re feeling well enough to join us, OA,” Isobel began. “Are you sure you don’t need more time to rest and recuperate?”

“No. I’m feeling better than ever. Saturday was just what I needed.” OA replied.

You couldn’t help but smirk then. Pressing your lips together, you tried to stop the giggle that threatened to escape. You peeped over to him to see he was also smirking.

“All right. Great work with that bomb, OA. Next time you’re feeling like being the hero, don’t we’d rather have you here with us than watching over us from the great beyond,” Jubal said. You glanced at OA and gave him a stubborn look that was a warning for the next time he wanted to be an idiot. OA smiled and nodded.

Jubal walked to the front of the JOC, where all the screens were signaling he wanted everyone’s attention. “So normally we don’t do Sundays, but this is urgent. New Dawn Bringers, otherwise known as NDB, have been found to have a connection with a serious trafficking cult that the FBI has been trying to lock down, The Rose Vortex. SVU has been running an operation. They have one of their own inside as we speak,” Jubal informed. He walked to a computer and tapped Ian on the shoulder who brought visuals on the screens before you.

“As of twelve hours ago, she’s gone quiet. We’ve also heard chatter that leadership in NDB is coming to town, and that means they need to be entertained. We have the big bosses, and we want them all,” Jubal finished.

“Okay, sounds good. What’s our play?” Jubal pointed at Kristen, acknowledging her question.

“We have an inside man who says they are getting a new shipment of eh-em, women,” Jubal added.

“What’s our in?”

Isobel and Jubal looked at each other with your question. After looking at them for a few seconds, your alarm slowly rose.

“Uh, why are you guys looking at me?”

Isobel cleared her throat and stood from her partially seated position. “You’re our in,” she announced.

OA sat up in his seat. “How?” You caught the controlling tone in his voice.

“I’ve read your file, Y/N. In Miami, you went undercover with--,” Isobel began before you cut her off.

“The Mantiago Cartel, yeah. It was a week at a sketchy—sex—club,” you slowly finished catching on.

“Yes, a well-known club that serviced that cartel. You got in with the leader and were integral in taking him down. The plan is to get you in with that shipmen to get into the cult,” Isobel informed.

“Absofuckinglutly not!”

All eyes flew to OA. No one spoke, everyone was in too much shock, you included.

“Let’s talk in my office,” Isobel coolly replied as she took a few steps in that direction.

“It doesn’t matter if we talk here or there, the answer is still no,” OA declared.

“OA!”

When he looked at you, he saw the alarm in your eyes. He took a breath and rubbed his goatee around his lips down to his beard. You stood and walked ahead to Isobel’s office. You filed in first, then Isobel, Jubal, and finally, OA. Once the door closed, Isobel was the first to speak.

“Okay, Agent Zidan, take a breath,” she cautiously began as if giving him a nonverbal reminder of who he was. “The plan is simple; Y/N will infiltrate the shipment. Once at the cult location, you will locate the SVU agent and assess the situation. Your objective is to get the bosses into a compromising position for us to bring them in and nail their asses to the wall to give us the win,” Isobel explained.

“While bringing in whatever intel you can on NDB,” Jubal added.

“No. You want her to go undercover as a trafficked sex slave, and before you tell me don’t know what’ll happen, yeah, we do. These women are kidnapped, brutally and violently broken in, then drugged up to be pimped out. There is no way we’re letting Y/N in that,” OA finalized.

“OA, we understand, but she’s had experience with this. I am confident in her ability and skill to get in, find the agent and accomplish the objective,” Isobel reasoned. “Y/N, what do you say?”

You looked between Isobel and Jubal, who waited each with different expressions on their faces. You could feel the death rays from OA beside you. When you looked at him, the look was worse than you expected. He looked at you expectantly. He expected you to say no.

“I can do it. It’s not a big deal,” assured. OA rolled his eyes, clenched his jaw, then turned his back to you.

“All right, we’ll get you up to speed. Let me say this, as a woman I know what I am asking you, I know the danger and risk this will put you in but I am one-hundred percent sure that this is not more than you are capable of,” Isobel slid in with a warm smile before she walked out of the room.

Before you could say anything to him, OA was bolting out the door too. Jubal put the files in front of you. he looked as if he had a question to ask, but instead, he nodded and patted your shoulder. “We have you, Y/N,” he said before he walked out of the office.

The next two hours passed with you drilling yourself, trying to memorize everything in the files. With your head on the task at hand, it didn’t mean that you didn’t see OA every time he stalked past the room with the sourest expression on his face. You knew he was pissed, and it bothered you. His worry wasn’t unwarranted. He was right going undercover like this was dangerous, especially seeing how dangerous and racist the NDB was that danger was increasingly greater.

When you got up to stretch your legs, you saw him at his desk. As you approached, you tried to act as normal as possible. Once beside him, you inhaled his scent, one of his favorite things.

“Think you can quiz me?”

The look he gave you was an incredulous one that said you were crazy. “No, thanks.”

“OA, come on. Let’s talk,” you whispered. OA sighed and looked around him, accessing the number of eyes on you.

“Fine.”

“Conference room at the end of the hall,” you instructed before you walked off, making a pit stop in the office to gather the files.

Once inside the conference room, you paced the room, walking around the table. Almost eight minutes passed before the door opened, and OA walked in. He stood beside the door with you, standing across the room where the projector was. You stared at each other, neither wanting to concede. At the same time, you both walked around the conference table to meet in the middle. Once before each other, you sighed when you saw the tight clench of his jaw.

“Come on, Omar.”

OA groaned and went soft. “Of course, you’d use my name at a time like this.”

“You’re being unreasonable,” you continued.

“Me? Y/N, this is a sex trafficking ring, a racist one. This is too dangerous, and you know it.”

“No, you know what I know is I've done this before. Neither is the less evil. If this were a week ago, you wouldn’t be acting like this, and you know it,” you breached.

OA sighed again and dropped his head back. “Are you saying I’m acting worried for your safety because—,” he began.

“Am I wrong?”

OA didn’t speak for almost a minute before he sat on the conference table, leaving you to stand there waiting. He rubbed his face and mumbled something that you didn’t catch.

“Yes, you’re wrong. If it were a week ago, I’d still object. I would still feel the same way I do now, about the case and you.”

You stared at each other again. He reached out and pulled you between his legs to him. “There are so many ways this can go bad, so many ways you can get hurt, and I won’t be there. I’m—I’m scared.”

Your heart melted at his admission. OA scoffed.

“I’m fucking scared, and I don’t know what to do about it. I have no control here. If it’s you and me out there, then there is some control, with this--.”

You gripped his jaw and made him look at you. “I get it,” you whispered. OA sniffled and clenched his jaw in that control freak trying to keep his impulses internal way that you’d fallen in love with. You couldn’t help but kiss him even though it was a bad idea, especially considering where you were right now. OA kissed you back, letting it remain slow and tender.

You pressed your forehead to his then sighed as you pulled back to look at him. “We can’t let our fears get in the way of the job. You know that,” you whispered. OA nodded.

“I know, I know, but you’re more than the job now, Y/N. This is more, and no matter if we wanted to just leave things unspoken or not, it is still something. Friday night meant something, Saturday meant something, a few hours ago—that meant something. You’re not just my partner anymore,” OA finished.

He was right; the dynamics of your relationship had now changed. You’d crossed a line, and professional was not what this was anymore. It was something more. Something that neither of you had discussed for whatever reasons, but you both knew you would have to have the discussion. Now was not the time, though.

“OA, this is happening. I can’t be distracted in there. I can’t have you in the back of my head worrying that you’re not okay with this, that you don’t have my back in this.”

“You’re kidding, right? Y/N, I always have your back; I will always have your back. Yeah, I don’t agree with this op, and I wish that you would reconsider, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have your back with it. Your back, my back, we got that.”

You nodded and dropped your forehead to his chest to release a relieved breath. You desperately needed to hear those words, and you hadn’t realized how desperately until now. OA kissed the top of your head.

“I’m going to do whatever necessary to make sure you come home to me. Whatever it takes,” OA finished.

You locked eyes with him seeing the vehemence of his declaration radiating from them.

For the next hour, OA drilled you on the contents of the folder and helped you do what he did best, get your head in the game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!*** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#partners fic #oa zidan #oa zidan fanfiction #fbi fanfiction #oa zidan x reader #oa zidan x you #oa zidan x black reader #black fanfiction #angst fanfic #oa zidan smut

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tumblezwei · 5 years ago

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Why Kyoko Mogami is the GOAT

And why y’all are SLEEPING ON HER

Spoilers for Skip Beat, but honestly idk how much of the story I’m gonna get into for this since I’m flying by the seat of my pants. Still, read at your own risk.

Also this is LONG lmao

Kyoko Mogami is a 16 year old middle school drop-out that works two jobs day and night in order to pay rent for the Tokyo apartment that she lives in all by herself 6 days out of the week. Going into the first chapter, there are three things immediately clear about her.

1. She’s cheerful, kind, and also kind of batshit insane. From the first moment we meet her, her personality is throwing itself at our faces and refusing to calm down. (apologies for the bad quality images, I work with what I have)

2. She loves Sho Fuwa, her childhood friend and rising rock-star that asked Kyoko to come with him to Tokyo after middle school graduation to support his career

3. Nothing matters to her as long as Sho is happy. Sure, she laments that her love for girly dresses, cosmetics, and fairy tale princesses will never amount to anything since all of her money is going toward paying the rent on her and Sho’s apartment, but that’s fine. As long as her precious Sho is happy, so is she.

And, as you’d expect, things go to shit pretty quickly afterwards. During one her off days from her night job, Kyoko decides to visit Sho at his recording studio with dinner. After sneaking in past the hoards of squealing teenage girls waiting outside to catch a glimpse of him, she overhears him talking to his manager.

“I’m the heir to a prominent Japanese inn, do you think I’ve ever cooked or cleaned all by myself?” She hears.

“That’s awful,” the manager replies, “you make it sound as if you brought her just to be your maid.”

“She’s basically been my maid since I was a kid, or else I wouldn’t have brought her along with me. It’s not like I forced her, I asked her a question and gave her the choice. It’s only natural that she’d work her butt off to support me.”

And he just keeps going. Once he’s made enough to live independently, he’ll send her back. How dare his parents try to set him up with a plain-looking girl like her. She doesn’t even wear make-up!

As images of flash in Kyoko’s mind of standing in front of make-up stores with no money to buy anything, she takes Sho’s words just as well as one might expect. By unleashing the box of tucked away emotions she’s held in her chest and swearing to take revenge on Sho for using her and throwing her away like this.

. I failed to mention this at the start, but the beginning of the chapter introduces us to the most important piece of symbolism in Kyoko’s character development: Pandora’s box.

For Kyoko’s entire life, she’s held this box inside herself. In myth, once this box was opened, all of the evil of the world is unleashed, never to be put back inside. So for Kyoko, the metaphor is quite apt. Hearing Sho’s words unlocks the box and unleashes a kind of anger that not even Kyoko knew she was capable of, a kind of determination and vengeance that has her dyeing her hair and staking outside of a talent manager’s house for days on end to whittle down his willpower and give her a chance to audition at Sho’s rival talent agency, LME. Every time she hears his name, or sees his picture, she’s filled with myopic sense of rage that no one can calm her down from.

Her sole mission in life is to get revenge on Sho Fuwa, a sentiment that finds her at odds with LME’s top actor, Ren Tsuruga, who sees her one-sided quest for vengeance as an insult to people who truly love acting. But as if Kyoko cares, she needs to get revenge!

I’m gonna drop the pseudo-narration for a bit because I actually need to skip over a fair bit of plot to get to what I think makes Kyoko incredibly compelling, outside of being the funniest female character in existence. We’re going to jump forward in time to Kyoko’s first acting gig. Well, not so much an gig as much as it is a competition. She’s been tasked to play the role of a dignified inn keeper that’s serving tea to the main male character. After having broken her ankle and been challenged by the real lead actress, this is her first shot to prove she has the talent to make it in the acting industry. So in order to immerse herself in the role, she utilizes her experience of being trained by Sho’s mother to take care of the inn that his family owned. It’s here that we finally understand that Kyoko giving up her life back home for Sho wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision brought about by infatuation. It was something she’d been doing for her entire life. Everything she knows how to do, every skill she’s obtained, has been because of Sho. And this is the moment that she realizes that fact too. (the first image is from after the scene is done, wherein Kyoko cannot snap herself out of her character due to the lessons she was taught as a child, despite her sitting position making her broken ankle unbearably painful).

Even her righteous fury at being left in the dust is focused solely on Sho fucking Fuwa. Is there anything that she has than can be attributed to her own success? Does she have any skills that can’t be traced back to trying to make Sho happy? Who is Kyoko Mogami? Is she worth anything without Sho?

And I want to make this clear right now, because I know the term “shoujo” makes people hesitate. THIS is what Skip Beat is about. Kyoko’s journey to find out who she is, and with every new role she takes on and with every experience she gains, she becomes just a little closer to finding out who she is and what she wants for herself.

We watch as her love for acting slowly eclipses her thirst for revenge. A few arcs after this moment, she is contacted about a job to act in a music PV with none other than Sho himself. In the beginning, she accepts the job in order to prove to Sho that she’s climbing the ladder and catching up to him, but her performance suffers whenever she thinks about her revenge. And what saves her isn’t even putting aside her revenge, but prioritizing her own feelings above it. She wants to act! She wants to put on a good performance! So she needs to put aside those feelings of anger and draw from her past experiences to create a character that leaves Sho in the dust.

I’m gonna bet y’all are wondering about the romance, though. Because this is a shoujo, and of course it has romance. But hey, guess what? That romance is equally compelling and is an integral part to Kyoko’s character too. In the first....5 or so arcs, Ren Tsuruga ‘s relationship with Kyoko crawls it’s way out of the it’s rocky beginnings, and he slowly becomes a mentor figure to Kyoko. He’s her superior in acting, and she looks to him often for support and guidance when she’s struggling to perform a role or having difficulty with her fellow actors. To Kyoko, Ren is the goal, his level of acting is what she aspires to be, so she can stand on equal footing with him. Before there’s even a whiff of romance between them, there develops a solid bond of trust and support. And once the romance starts. Hoo boy.

To fully understand why it’s taken 12 years irl for a confession scene to finally take place, we need to bring back the metaphor of Pandora’s box. Because not everything escaped Pandora’s box when it was opened. Pandora was able to shut the box just in time for one thing to stay locked inside: hope. In the myth, this is a good thing, while negative and vile emotions run free, hope still exists within people to become better. But for Kyoko, the box isn’t a safe place, it’s a repressed place. She spent her entire life locking away the negative emotions she felt, placing a smile on her face and hoping for Sho’s happiness. And when those emotions are set lose, she locks the box back up, sealing something else inside. Her hope, her confidence in anything having to do with love.

It’s not just that Kyoko isn’t in love anymore, she feels as if she can’t be in love anymore, that she’s entirely incapable of it. The idea of falling in love with someone else terrifies her. What if she goes back to the way she was before? An empty shell that exists for other people and not herself. The box has been sealed tightly again, and by God this time she’s not going to let anything open it. And like, I don’t want to spoil much in this, as contradictory as that sounds. Because the scene where she realizes she loves Ren? One of the best fucking scenes in any romance manga ever.

And. God. I haven’t even touched on her mom. Kyoko’s desire for love, that became so warped under Sho and so desolate after his betrayal, can all stem back to Saena Mogami. A woman who, no matter what Kyoko did, rejected any affection that her child tried to give, and gave none in return. “Even a mother can hate her own child.” We get bits and pieces of what Kyoko’s mother was like, and the environment that a very young Kyoko was raised in before her mother left her in the care of Sho’s parents. And eventually we realize that Kyoko isn’t afraid of her love being rejected twice, but a third time.

Like, y’all, I’m not good at these kind of essays. I keep wanting to go off on tangents, nothing is ever focused, I spend to much time just reading the manga instead of writing this fucking post. But please believe me when I tell you that Kyoko Mogamis character development is like none other. She’s truly at the top of her genre and it’s an actual crime that she’s so underrated.

I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT KANAE, THE WEISS TO HER RUBY, THE TSUNDERE TO HER GENKI

Before Kyoko gets even a single arc with Ren, she gets two with Kanae. The first with Kanae as a central figure, and the second where Kanae is her support. She’s the one that gives Kyoko the eureka moment she needs to pull of her performance with Sho. They are one of the most developed and deep friendships in shoujo that I’ve ever seen AND Y’ALL NEED TO STOP SLEEPING ON IT. LOOK AT THESE TWO

And don’t take this poorly assembled post at face value, I’ve left out a lot of shit. Starting with how fucking funny this manga is. Kyoko’s special talent for her LME audition is peeling vegetables, there’s a running gag where Ren asks for her advice while she’s in a giant chicken costume, unaware that it’s her, the president of LME is an eccentric millionaire that likes to dress up in different themed costumes every day and loves throwing extravagant parties, Kyoko’s hobby is making voodoo dolls and talks to a miniature Ren doll whenever she needs encouragement or advice.

And it’s all packaged alongside some of the most compelling character development I’ve ever seen (for both Kyoko and Ren), and some absolutely heartbreaking drama. You will never know true pain until “I don’t have a daughter.”

Read this, ya’ll. You won’t regret it.

#I'm not going back over this because I KNOW it's not coherent but FUCK IT #skip beat #rambling #long post

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