#witness my neuroticism

[mecachrome]

wahh thank u @scrappyracers for the tag i enjoyed ur answers a lot :') f1 tag game...

Who is your favorite driver?: i am an oscarybro first & foremost <3 he's the only driver i truly rep because honestly i don't think i have the bandwidth for more even if i wanted to/tried!!

Do you have other favorite drivers?: i would basically put alex below oscar in his own little tier and then it's just like [WALL]... but i'm also fond of yuki + lando + lewis and respekt maxv :') the rest of the grid i honestly don't think about 99% of the time LOL not in a bad way but because i barely have enough energy for My Guys as is u know

Who is your least favorite driver?: 😔 i feel bad sharing hateurisms on my family friendly blog. 

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?: def drivers first but i genuinely like mclaren as a racing outfit so that helps!!! when oscar was still in alp i suffered so much because of it being a deeply unserious team and even back then when the cracks were still forming this was fairly evident because i had a rossi agenda, so i was like wegghhhh i guess i can enjoy a williams stint/swallow down alpine content for him. 😔 and then he replaced [answer to question above which at the time hindered my mcl support significantly] and i got the ultimate driver pairing at a team i'm actually quite fond of ❤️🤍🖤

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?: any1 else papayapilled??? 🧡

How long have you been into F1?: a little over 2 years!!! how i managed to get into this sport via an inactive reserve driver i don't know.....

What got you into F1?: several friends were getting into it & were reading mxl fic & things of that nature and even though i wasn't really invested in any of the ships presented i ended up biting as well... but fsr i was not compelled by most f1 content / barely watched dts and instead got reeaaally into feeder series, i think perhaps because at the time i was fascinated by prospect projections + mapping / modeling career trajectories + the idea of "ceilings" in hockey and was watching a ton of jr hockey so it kind of translated over and i got to enjoy masterclasses like litr the most broken broadcast streams ever of kimi driving off into the distance in adac f4. But anyway... i also watched chasing the dream and became obsessed with oscar from that and the rest was history 😌🐨🧡

Do you enjoy Fanfic/RPF?: i definitely read it!!! RPF Is Fine etc. i've written 2 effwon fics very poorly and that's it but i peruse the 814 archives regularly..... i forever need to be better at commenting and feel very bad about my own shyness but i think this fandom has such a wealth of incred authors whom i am always in awe of x__x 🧡 tho i will say i'm also a stickler for the 4th wall and it mildly horrifies me that 814 are 75% public..... also fun fact 814 is my favorite oscar ship but it's only my #3 lando ship LOL. j(e|o)ndo you are so special 2 meee

How do you view new fans?: well i'm a relatively new fan so 💗 honestly i barely witness or process most fandom discourse wrt: gatekeeping the sport or dts fans or what have you since i do not frequent those circles of the internet (no public twitter / have never downloaded tiktok in my life) so i don't even know the primary arguments!!

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?: i should never be put in charge of anything. now i'm just trying to think strategically like okay where would i want to live but even then i have no idea... 

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?: my family could not care less but def the former !!! 💗 going to my 2nd gp soon with my beloved chirlie friend who has been with me thru k-pop fandom for like 8 years now hehe

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?: yes i'm just very shy & have multiple anxiety disorders Amongst other things so pls forgive my neuroticism 😭😭😭 but i love 2 have discussions.... oscar piastri lore is my passion in fact <3

0 pressure tagging @bright-and-burning @piastrisms @miamimaiden @goingxmissing If u would like !!! these r fun qs i like hearing about people's fandom journeys/experiences hehe :')

[mainfaggot]

not a single oomf to witness my live neuroticism on tumblr it's like u see mainfaggot and scroll past . OK THEN !!?!!!

[republicsecurity]

Adjutant

In the dimly lit government office, the powerful bureaucrat, Director Henshaw, reclined behind her polished desk, exuding an air of authority that seemed to permeate the very walls. Her steely gaze fixed upon her subordinate, a young and eager official seeking answers in the labyrinth of bureaucracy.

"Control, Jenkins," Director Henshaw began, her voice a measured cadence echoing through the room. "Control is the bedrock upon which the strength of our paramedic corps rests. We can't have our conscripts wandering off the beaten path, now can we?"

Jenkins, slightly taken aback by the directness, nodded cautiously. "But Director, why such meticulous regulation? The paramedics are there to save lives, not become automatons."

A wry smile played on Director Henshaw's lips as she leaned forward, steepling her fingers. "Saving lives, yes. But discipline and order save civilizations, my dear Jenkins. The paramedics are the frontline of our health infrastructure, a crucial cog in the well-oiled machinery of this republic. We can't afford chaos or unpredictability."

She leaned back, her gaze unwavering. "Our conscripts give up certain liberties for the greater good. It's a sacrifice, a choice they make for the stability and security of the republic. Don't mistake the appearance of control for oppression. It's the backbone of progress."

Jenkins, though still uncertain, nodded again, absorbing the weight of Director Henshaw's words.

As Jenkins hesitated, a personal struggle etched across his face, Director Henshaw leaned forward, her expression softening just a fraction. "Speak your mind, Jenkins. Personal anecdotes often shed light on the complexities of our work."

Jenkins took a deep breath before revealing, "My brother, Director. He joined the Paramedic Corps about a year ago. We hardly see him these days. When he does visit, he looks... different. Muscular, so disciplined. It's like he's become a different person."

Director Henshaw nodded knowingly. "Ah, the transformation. It's not uncommon. The paramedic regimen shapes both body and mind. It's a testament to the effectiveness of our methods."

Jenkins continued, "He calls from time to time, but it's not the same. He's so precise, so controlled. Shaved head, always in uniform. It's like he's lost a part of himself."

Director Henshaw, her curiosity piqued, leaned forward and uttered a directive to Jenkins. "Give me your brother's designator, Jenkins. Let's have a look at his profile."

Jenkins hesitated for a moment, contemplating the implications of accessing his brother's personal information. After a brief pause, he complied, "JK5T6."

The director swiftly accessed the database, and on the holographic interface before her, the profile of Jenkins' brother materialized. JK5T6's alphanumeric serial, now more than just a designation, was a window into the intricacies of his conscripted life.

Director Henshaw scrutinized the information, her fingers deftly navigating through the holographic data. "JK5T6," she mused, "here we are. Let's see how he's been faring in our disciplined ranks."

As the data unfolded, Jenkins observed the transformation of his brother's personality traits. The Director began analyzing the changes with an unflinching gaze. "Reduced openness, increased conscientiousness, elevated extraversion, amplified agreeableness, and a notable decrease in neuroticism. Classic traits of a disciplined paramedic," she remarked.

Jenkins couldn't help but feel a twinge of unease witnessing the analytical dissection of his brother's evolution. "It's like he's become a different person," Jenkins muttered.

Director Henshaw, unfazed, continued her assessment. "These changes are intentional, Jenkins. They're what make our paramedics efficient, reliable, and cohesive. Your brother is embodying the very essence of the disciplined force we strive to cultivate."

The holographic profile flickered with data points, each one a reflection of the meticulous conditioning that had molded JK5T6 into a model paramedic. The Director, her eyes fixed on the hologram, concluded, "He's adapting well to the program."

Director Henshaw, having concluded her analysis of JK5T6's profile, turned her gaze back to Jenkins. "Reduced openness, elevated extraversion, amplified agreeableness, and a decrease in neuroticism," she reiterated, her tone carrying a sense of approval. "Your brother is receiving a gift from the Corps, Jenkins. A gift of self-confidence and adaptability."

Director Henshaw, addressing Jenkins' concern about the tight neuro-based VR conditioning, leaned forward once again. "The tight VR neuro conditioning, Jenkins, is a critical component of our training program. It's not just about transforming personalities; it's about imprinting the vast reservoir of medical knowledge directly into the minds of our paramedics."

She gestured toward the holographic display, highlighting the interconnected nature of the conditioning and the knowledge transfer. "Consider it an accelerated infusion of expertise. In the span of a few sessions, your brother, and others like him, absorb medical protocols, emergency procedures, and diagnostic skills that would take years through traditional education."

"The Corps needs paramedics who can operate with efficiency, precision, and adaptability," she continued. "The VR conditioning ensures that every paramedic possesses a standardized, comprehensive understanding of medical science. It's not just about following a protocol; it's about internalizing the knowledge to the point where it becomes instinct."

The holographic display flickered as she accessed data points, showcasing the iconic red uniforms and clean-shaven heads that defined the image of paramedics in the Republic.

"They could have chosen the Enviro Corps or a service with less conditioning, but here they are," she mused, her gaze fixed on the holographic projection. "It's remarkable how the aesthetics of their uniforms and the meticulous grooming become a visual signature of the Paramedic Corps. A uniformity that extends beyond appearances."

A sly smile played on her lips as she continued, "Did you know we program into them that they like if you gently touch their clean skull? It's a subtle detail, an intentional nuance that reinforces the sense of discipline and control. Even their preferences are crafted to align with the image we desire."

As she spoke, the holographic display showcased paramedics in their red uniforms, standing in formation or diligently tending to their duties. The image, carefully curated by the directives of the Corps, conveyed an aesthetic of order and precision.

Director Henshaw, a master of controlled appearances, pressed a discreet button on her desk, causing a wooden cabinet to swing open. Out stepped R4ZZI, impeccably dressed in his red bellhop uniform. He stood at attention, ready to fulfill any request from his superior.

"At ease, R4ZZI," she said, acknowledging his presence. "I was just reflecting on our work here. How do you find your duties today?" she inquired.

R4ZZI, with a slight bow, responded, "Everything is in order, ma'am. Is there anything you require?"

Director Henshaw, however, had a different line of inquiry in mind. "No, R4ZZI, I'm not looking for your assistance at the moment. I'm curious about something else. How do you feel? Are you happy in your current role?"

R4ZZI, momentarily taken aback by the unexpected question, quickly composed himself and replied, "Yes, ma'am. I find fulfillment in serving and assisting. It brings me a sense of purpose and satisfaction."

The Director, with a contemplative gaze, continued her probing. "And what about the conditioning, R4ZZI? How does it sit with you?"

R4ZZI, displaying the expected confidence that came with his conditioning, responded, "The conditioning has been transformative, ma'am. I feel more self-confident and capable in my duties. It has enhanced my abilities to serve efficiently."

Director Henshaw nodded approvingly. "Good to hear, R4ZZI. Your demeanor, especially in that cute bellhop uniform, presents the perfect image of boyish innocence. It suits the public perception we aim to maintain."

Director Henshaw, satisfied with the exchange, allowed her fingers to gently stroke the shaved skull of R4ZZI. The bellhop, conditioned to accept such gestures, responded with a brief but genuine smile.

It was a display of authority, a reminder of the control that extended even to the physical interactions between superior and subordinate. The smile on R4ZZI's face reflected not just contentment but the successful implantation of responses deemed desirable by the conditioning process.

Approaching R4ZZI, Jenkins inquired, "Is that genuine emotion, or is it induced by conditioning?"

R4ZZI, ever the embodiment of compliance, responded by calling up a picture of himself from the day before conscript service. The image showcased a skinny boy with unruly hair, pimples, and an air of insecurity. It was a stark contrast to the confident and composed bellhop standing before them.

"Look at me now," R4ZZI stated, gesturing towards his present self in the bellhop uniform.

Jenkins, intrigued by the controlled existence of R4ZZI, asked to see the interior of the cabinet. R4ZZI, complying with the request, opened the door, revealing a space designed for practicality and efficiency.

The compact compartment contained a chair, strategically positioned with a contraption to facilitate the connection of the chastity device—a symbolic reminder of the tight control over personal freedoms. A terminal, presumably for communication and task management, stood adjacent to the chair, reinforcing the perpetual connection to the system.

R4ZZI, ever the dutiful bellhop, explained the practicalities of his confined space within the cabinet. "I stay in it when the Director is in the office, and there are no other tasks. I can enter from the corridor, always ready at any time," he clarified, gesturing toward the compact quarters.

The functionality of the cabinet became apparent as he continued, "I can even take a nap in the chair." The efficiency of the setup was evident—R4ZZI's existence seamlessly integrated with the demands of the regime. The cabinet served not just as a storage space but as a standby station, ensuring immediate readiness for any directive or task.

Jenkins inquired further, "How much time do you spend in there?"

R4ZZI responded with a pragmatic acknowledgment, "It depends on the Director's schedules. The Director has two, and we share the duties. Otherwise, I participate in ambulance activities or engage in sports."

"My duties vary between actual ambulance work, grounding me in the practicalities of the field, and administrative tasks here," he explained.

[elytrafemme]

reasons why c!ranboo should blow himself up in las nevadas

(instead of working on my homework or, you know, focusing on the fic i just posted) 

(i’m not a good analyst, by the way. this is half stream of consciousness. bear with.) 

-

(1) a lot of the current dynamic between c!ranboo and c!wilbur hedges on c!wilbur’s belief that the two of them are similar, kindred spirits of sort. we see this in the neuroticism talk between the two of them, and how c!wilbur finds c!ranboo to be similar to him, if a little braver. c!ranboo is seemingly hesitant about this, but we have repeated affirmations at the end of c!wilbur’s streams that he absolutely loves c!ranboo, and he thinks they get along well. 

c!wilbur is trying to move on past l’manberg. this is not done flawlessly; he regresses back into his prior habits dozens of times. with good intent or not, he is manipulative-- less out of a desire for success, maybe, and more to defend himself. regardless, he is trying to move past l’manberg, and we can see that in him. 

this takes me to two different points. let me cycle it back to c!ranboo, first.

(2) c!ranboo is currently a static character. 

his character has not had a lot of change or growth. now, this isn’t inherently bad-- we see a lot of characters who have less growth than others. not everyone has the convoluted dynamics that we see in c!quackity’s character, and that’s good, because too many moving pieces in one story and it starts to get terribly, terribly messy. 

but c!ranboo is a character who, i would argue, needs growth. but he currently doesn’t have any. and i think, when drawing the comparisons between c!wilbur and him, that’s a pretty fascinating piece. 

(2.5) c!ranboo needs his worldview to shatter, just a little. and i do think death can cause that, because let’s be honest, he is the only character on the smp right now who does not have a grasp on the idea of death. even if you have never died, like c!philza, you understand death. you’ve caused it, you’ve witnessed it, you’ve contemplated it-- etc. 

c!ranboo hasn’t. and there is a lot of naivety that comes in that, in my opinion. 

(3) other people haven’t moved on from l’manberg. c!quackity built las nevadas hoping it would be different, that it would succeed-- he shuts c!wilbur out from the fear that he will make history repeat. and c!tubbo, part of las nevadas now, still hasn’t healed from the aftereffects. we know that. 

one of the biggest pieces of l’manberg’s destruction, if not the sole centerpiece of it all, is c!wilbur blowing up his own nation and pleading for death. 

(4) history repeats itself, but c!ranboo is taking c!wilbur’s place. 

c!ranboo and c!wilbur have a lot of similarities beyond neuroticism. both of them have taken a close relationship to c!philza, looking up to the other as a mentor/father. both have strong political stances that are opposing to a significant population of people on the dreamSMP. both of them have something they care for more than anything-- one is a person and the other is a country but regardless, they care for it. 

c!wilbur told c!ranboo to put tnt in las nevadas. we know chekhov’s gun by now; we know that it will light. we know that all that time ago, c!wilbur blew himself up in his own country, because a country is what he cared for. 

we know that c!ranboo’s closest loved one is in las nevadas. we know that c!ranboo, justified or not, was a traitor to l’manberg. we know that c!ranboo doesn’t understand death, or the world, exactly, and we know that c!ranboo has always taken sides never quite intending to. 

l’manberg was never quite c!ranboo’s country. he was part of it when it started anew. but he never really understood the history, not in its entirety. he knows the pieces, of course-- he was the minutes man! he was at the president’s side! he was in the butcher’s army! he’s seen his husband have night terrors for months now! he’s seen the museum! 

he’s tried. but it isn’t enough. 

-- 

c!ranboo should blow himself up in las nevadas’ casino, obeying the laws of chekhov’s gun and the bullet that c!wilbur placed into his hands. he should blow himself up in las nevadas’ casino in front of those who saw l’manberg’s destruction, and he should be a traitor once more. he should blow himself up in las nevadas’ casino because he was intended to be c!wilbur but braver, but he’s been brave as often as he’s been loyal, which is to say all the time and never at all. c!ranboo should blow himself up in las nevadas’ casino because history never ends, and one can write down the memories and the minutes all they want just as one would hear stories about men with guns that look like lovers and enemies, but never know what its like to touch a gun. 

c!ranboo should blow himself up in las nevadas’ casino. c!quackity may be c!wilbur’s yang to his yin, but c!ranboo is the closest thing c!wilbur has to a successor. and he is, in the same breath, everything that c!wilbur is and isn’t. 

c!ranboo should blow himself up in las nevadas’ casino. 

because frankly, i’m a c!ranboo enthusiast, and i want to see my favorite character die. 

[luffysimp]

at this unsexy hour of 2am atm all i can recall is

nami: watching a loved one die within arms reach and not being able to stop it, subjugation and discrimination against them for the sake of money or lack thereof, self harm when theyre at their wits end (nami: stabbing herself. luffy: hits himself on two separate occasions), Painful Last Words ("Nami, I love you" vs "thank you for loving me")

usopp & zoro: losing a loved one, loyalty to their goals due to said loss of their loved ones (usopps mom, kunia, sabo then sabo went lol no and that went to ace instead)

chopper: loneliness, loss of a loved one, the desire to make friends and being met with rejection and violence (tho eventually succeeding)

brook: watching a loved one die within arms reach and not being able to stop it, debilitating loneliness, promises unkept

robin: having the place you lived burned down bc of something out of your control (the historians & her mother for robin, poverty for luffy) loneliness, having a criminal for a parent, watching a loved one die within arms reach and not being able to stop it, parental abandonment

franky: parental abandonment, growing up in a trash heap

sanji: having a mentor figure lose a limb for you, a mentor figure that validates your dreams, having a dream that ppl laugh at and scorn as unrealistic

for jinbei, id like to draw parallels between him and ft and luffy and shanks but ah.. that wont quite work maybe??? jinbei and luffys relationship is really different compared to everyone elses moreso brought together by the shared history of a relationship with ace though it similar to yamato (monkey's paw curls for me getting ahead of myself and thinking of him as a strawhat) yamato is a veritable buffet of issues and thinly veiled neuroticism that ties him to luffy in a completely different way. jinbei.... does not appear often so i have to refresh my memory on him to make proper comparisons i cried though sabaody to marineford and fmi was... something for sure.

[johnnys-so]

I recall you saying you don't know Day6 well enough for an analysis, but what about now? If you can, we'd love one. Thank you!

HEYOOO! 

Umm a lot hasn’t changed on that front but I feel like the distance might be a good thing so I’m going to attach some small mini-analysis after the cut.

sungjin

Bob is literally the most dad friend ever and I think he really takes the cake (though GOT7′s JB comes a close second). He looks so constantly done with all of his members, and yet - probably the one who cleans the kitchen and makes sure to stock up on water/ramyeon/veggies etc.

I feel like he was born to be the hyung, you know? He is the responsible and primary caregiver type. Even though he doesn’t make a big show of it, it seems to be a big part of his personality that he takes care of other people

Also, my god his humour is just.... something commendable, truly. He can’t be funny to save his ass but atleast he keeps trying and i think THATS what so funny about him??? sungjin-ah.... never give up bby

I feel like he’s the least complicated of all members. He doesn’t seem to be the emotionally volatile type and seems very centred in his personality, he also seems oddly like he might have a sister? a younger one (does he? idk, mydays pls let me know). it’s just that other than the protective bear stereotype, he does seem emotionally well-adjusted. Maybe he’s just at that point in life where he can encounter a shitty day or some sort of hardship and look at it straight and say - ok, that’s fucked up. But I guess we gotta just work through it. (in comparison, wonpil would be shrieking through his lungs AND working through it)

in terms of a temper i think he most certainly has one but it takes him a while to get there and i don’t think he’d talk through it AT ALL. maybe cleanliness would be his pet peeve? (im just shooting in the dark here)

to wrap it up, sungjin is the sort of guy (in my opinion at least) who has a strong and steady value system and he’s sort of ok with dealing with the world as long as he has it figured out in his head. He knows who he is, and therefore there is little conflict he brings to the world. If he wasn’t playing in this band, I’d 1000% see him settle for the corporate life and clean9 to 5 job which lets him come back home by 7pm and have some cold beer while watching football and hearing his kids play in the living room

Jae

Aww man this skinny bitch. I feel like the fandom is sleeping on his ‘annoying prankster’ potential because i think  he’d give peeves a run for his money

derives great joy from the misery and anguish of others (probably has Wonpil maniacally laughing in the background)

on a normal day Jae is the sort of person who’s probably going through memes on the phone while everyone’s having a serious conversation about their tour or like their everyday schedules. He has a few things he cares about in life and is okay to take a backseat when it comes to the other shit. As long as he gets what he needs (a possible slytherin mofo?)

But that’s not to say that he’s easygoing or wishywashy about the things that he does care about. Music, matters a lot to him. Even though he’s not academically musically instructed (as young k is) he has spent a whole lot of time and effort into educating himself to the point that it really shows in their albums (i could wax poetry about the complexity of Day6′s music and how its so refreshing in it’s personality of being both goth and peppy i-). So Jae is most certainly determined, goal driven and very intrinsically motivated

Also, very much in his head. If he doesn’t have a strong pisces placement, I’m willing to eat my foot. I feel like while Young K is very intense about his emotions, Jae gets very emotional about the people he surrounds himself with.

With people: not very trusting of everyone. Has a chosen few that he goes to certain things about. Might be the kind of person who distributes his troubles by categories to various confidants. But also, trust is something that is earned with jae. But that is not to say that he won’t get along with other people. He’s cordial and is good in engaging a crowd (as a performer, MC, friend, VJ) but he’s also good at drawing lines and boundaries

the most incredible part of his personality for me has always been his work-ethic and his drive to be better. He’s always challenging himself through his existing skill set, but also pushing himself to learn new things. Sounds like a bloody workaholic to me. 

probably shit at figuring out his own feelings/emotions/attitude about certain things. But always up for being the wise advice-giver to other delinquents (read: jamie)

sarcastic wit to sass everyone for days. probably a loki over thor guy

Kink master extraordinaire. Likes cooking up shit and encourages people to sin.

Young K

emo baby af. But we all knew this so more on that later

The ultimate Onion of a personality. Young K, off the bat, seems like he hides so many layers. Not purposely at all, but simply because he’s unable to communicate the extent of his mental world to the public

one beautiful way he has found to channelise all of his thoughts and ideas about the world is clearly through his music and lyrics. But he’s also extremely creative in other ways (art and fashion). I feel like he’s the sort of person who feels most confident and assured in himself when he’s creating. 

socially, what a mess. I wouldn’t say he has trust issues like Jae does but im pretty sure he’s made some foolish mistakes about choosing friends and not realising how to navigate that friendship (friendships where he has demanded too much or has been demanded too much of??). But otherwise a jovial fool the kind of person who laughs the loudest (and dorkiest) at a dinner with friends

how’s his alcohol intake? I have this super funny intake of a drunk young k trying to write mini love poems for all his friends and sungjin being called to take him home and the call actually begins with “did he try to be poetic again?”

while im trying to paint a picture of him as a jester (because young k also needs to be seen for beyond his emotionality) he’s the kind of guy that would surprise you with how brilliant he is. An actual wisecrack/genius, and very underappreciated. I wouldn’t be surprised if he someday returns to teaching

Right. Emotionality though. If he isn’t some pisces (sun or moon) i will actually yell. He’s the definition of ‘someone who navigates an alternate plane, is open to a world that most people don’t even begin to understand exists’. i feel like speaking to him about abstract concepts - such as the existence of truth, the point of life, the definition of beauty, other existential phenomenon - would be so much fun because he’s have such an interesting and unconventional take on things. I feel like he’s make me humble with the words he has (he already makes me feel so secure with all of his lyrics because i realize, even if the world is shit what a relief that someone like young k exists)

probably would be a guilt-ridden but a wonderfully emotionally supportive boyfriend. Someone who understands your demons all too well and would go the extra mile to provide whatever help he can

1000% has high neuroticism scores that would be cause for concern. someone give him a Beck’s depression inventory right away.

HAHAHAHAH probably the fucking kinkiest mofo, after Jae

Wonpil

An actual baby!!

No ok but wonpil has matured THE most in all of Day6 and i really didn’t realise it until i notice how his expressions have become more closed during airport pics, and his voice has gained a new level of emotionality in live stages, and he’s also a lot more reserved these days on variety shows

still the most extrovert in the group. I just think the fame, the crowd, the possible betrayals as a result of their growing fame and having to be an adult in this tough situation - has gotten to him. But that’s inevitable really. None of us can be protected from the reality of life that leeches away at our innocence

such a vibrant soul. Such a giver. As a friend, he’s literal sunshine. Not much of a protector, but more of an amicable I’ll-always-be-there-for-you sort of person (though im guessing the amount of people he extends this courtesy to nowadays has probably reduced. 

fucking made to be an entertainer. He’s naturally funny and attracts all the energy (and eyes) in the room to himself. A very good mood maker if you will

in terms of neuroticism, I think he’d be more on the depression (from the constant stress workstyle and the increasing loneliness) than an anxious person. I think he probably is a bit volatile in his emotions but that’s because he gets lost in the moment. He’s literally someone who lives in the present far more than he lives in the past (sungjin or young k) or the future (jae)

don’t think he's intrinsically motivated much. Prone to a lot of lazy days, a lot of extreme gaming and just randomnly playing jokes and pranks on people. he’d need some strongly external guidance/deadlines to get his work ethic going

high extraversion and agreeableness, probably low on conscientiousness (especially discpline) but fascinated by aesthetic beauty (openness to experience).

Dowoon

Honest to god i cannot figure him out. I think it’s a case of - im trying to look deeper and harder but the truth is, it’s not even that complicated

underappreciated oppa potential 100000%

still comes through as a dork of a maknae. has zeROhand eye coordination outside of drumming. the kind of kid who breaks the glassware and blames it on his sibling (wonpil) and his parents totally believe him because he could do no wrong (aka sungjin grudginly yells at wonpil, again, about house rules)

just a man dedicated to his drums and his food. if he can play some solid beats, get some work done on the albums, play a nice set on a tour, have some chicken and beer while he is resting, have his hyungs fool around in the green room --> he good bruh

but by no means does that make him a fool (though i do think he’s a bit of a fool sometimes when it comes to picking up social cues about wonpil/jae making fun of him. he lacks the 눈치 you know what i mean)

Also (maybe I just love plot twists) but i think he’d be eerily good at picking up on people feeling sad/depressed/lonely/off in general. He’d be like that guy who just walks into the room and sees you just slinking away on the sofa and he thinks.... nah im just going to give them space and go get myself some food. But literally a few seconds later, he sits by you on the sofa, offers you food, and asks what’s on your mind. The silent supporter kind. Willing to listen, willing to be there for you

i don’t know much about dowoon so im just going to end this with: arms that can lift kids/ crush you in a bear hug/ pin you against a wall and leave bit marks on your neck

sorry if that didn’t cover much. I sort of only know day6 with their music. If im extremely wrong or way off about someone, please reach out and correct me!!

[nate-santos]

Am I Alive? || Nate & Remmy

Nate didn’t often let people into his life. The few friends he had were the result of long and tiresome interactions as they slowly infiltrated his careful barriers. His own assistant had never been to his house and never knew where he was from. But something about Remmy felt...familiar. They’d both been through hell, though Nate would never pretend to know what war was like. They seemed like kindred spirits, and Nate wondered if he might actually have found someone who could compliment his neuroticism. Plus he knew better than most how hard it was to acclimate after a traumatic event and he wanted to help any way he could. So he donned his puffiest coat – offering more cushion should something happen. He also made sure to grab his sturdiest umbrella, one that he’d reinforced should any fish come flying down at him. The medical examiner had said four people had died so far, and Nate was not gonna be the fifth. After carefully making his way to Coffee Plus, he set up his little area and ordered a latte, waiting patiently with his hands cupped around his mug for his potential employee to arrive.

The offer for another job was extremely enticing, but Remmy would have to make sure it didn’t pay too much, because they could lose their disability if it did. And then, no more writing off Moose’s food, no more HSA, and no more cheap meds. But Nate seemed like a really nice guy, and he seemed to know how Remmy felt. How hard it was to reintegrate into society after witnessing something that inherently changes you. Inside and out. This time, they made public transport didn’t make them late but catching the bus early. Coffee Plus was the station they’d met Deirdre outside of, and if they didn’t get thrown in front of a car again, then it would already be a better meeting. They’d even tried their best to clean themself up this time. Combed their hair, put on their best jeans-- the only pair with no holes or rips-- and their nice jacket. When they arrived, they had to pause a moment outside, give themself that little pep talk that usually given in front of a bathroom mirror. But Remmy’s room didn’t have a bathroom mirror, despite the landlord saying they were going to replace it two weeks ago. The little bell chimed as Remmy pulled the door open and they glanced around. There, in the corner. Right wher eNate had said he would be. He looked almost as nervous as Remmy felt, bundled up in a puffy coat, tucked into a corner, cupping his coffee. They waved as they approached tentatively. “Nate?” they asked. “It’s um-- Remmy. Hi.”

A large grin spread across Nate’s face as Remmy appeared. Thank god they actually showed up. He shifted in his seat and motioned for them to sit. Nervously, his hands fumbled with the pages of one of his old sketchbooks, one that before this morning he hadn’t looked at in years. It made him want to start drawing again, drawing things that weren’t buildings at the very least. He’d have to thank Remmy for reminding him how much he’d loved doing it. “Hey! Nice to meet you!” He held out his hand, careful not to bump into anything. “I’m so glad you came! You want something to drink?” Nate caught his usual barista’s attention and waved her over. “I personally like the lattes, but everything’s really good!”

Remmy noticed the way Nate stayed tucked into himself and close to the table, but didn’t think it was anything they needed to point out or think about. They took his hand, giving it a firm shake. His hand was large and warm and it reminded Remmy of Dario’s hand. They smiled back. “Nice to meet you, too! Finally.” They slid into the booth across from Nate, glancing around. The coffee shop was small, but had that busy, local atmosphere. It was different from any place they’d been in Bangor. “Oh, um, sure! I’ll just have a um...Americano? Thanks!” Looked back over to Nate once the lady took their order. They had their sketchbook tucked under one arm and their eyes fell onto the one Nate had on the table. “Thanks for um-- agreeing to meet me. And-and offering me a job. And...all that other stuff.”

Nate grinned and took a long sip of his coffee. “Really, it’s nothing. I uh, you seem like good people!” He chuckled nervously, trying not to think about how cold their hand was. He drummed his fingers on the top of his sketchbook and fell silent for a moment. It had been years since he’d shown his drawings to anyone when it wasn’t work related, but this...sort of was. “The job is mostly menial, nothing too exciting, but I could definitely use the assistance.” He shrugged, thinking about the kid currently interning for him. Bobby was next to useless, especially when it came to moving samples around the office. “But whether you take the job or not, I’m happy to have met you!” He began to slide his sketchbook over, his knee bouncing at a hypersonic rate. “Plus I never get to trade art with anyone! Not trade trade, but like...look over pieces...share, that sort of thing.”

“You seem like good people, too,” Remmy said back. This was nice. This felt nice. And normal. Pleasant, almost. They eyed his sketchbook, before setting theirs on the table as well, still holding tightly onto it. They’d never actually shown anyone else their stuff. Except some of the other officers at the camp. “Oh, um-- I’m not sure mine are gonna be really good enough to like...compare to yours, I’m sure. But I’m glad I get to see yours! I’ve never exactly….shared this kinda stuff before. Wasn’t exactly um-- encouraged in the troops.” Stop bringing the mood down, Rem. They shook their head. “But, I mean-- I’m good with menial things! And physical labor. Also good at running errands! Whatever you need! If um-- you decide you like me.”

Nate laughed, wringing his hands anxiously in his lap. “Oh, definitely no comparing here! That’s the worst thing artists can do, really. Everyone’s styles and strengths are so different, like…” He reached out and opened his book to a rather choppy looking portrait. “Soft lines, not my thing. But straight edges, flowing concrete, somehow that I can do.” A hand reached up into his hair and began to twirl. “I’m sorry you weren’t uh...encouraged. Art’s….soothing. Even if what you draw isn’t.” Nate had specifically not brought the book he’d kept right when he first found himself in White Crest. All the images in there were charcoal drawings of pure angst, sadness and desperation. These sketches weren’t great, but they at least weren’t morosely depressing. “Well I already think I like you!” Nate grinned, hoping he wasn’t coming on too strong. He hadn’t realized how desperately he’d needed something as normal as coffee and a job interview, even as lax as this was.

“Really?” Remmy asked. They leaned in a little more when Nate opened his book, gazing in with wide eyes. “Wow, that’s so good! You’re really good.” Hands tightening on their own book. “Oh, it-it’s okay. I don’t think I coulda done anything with it, anyway. I guess it just helps...occupy my mind. I don’t mean like..busy work, or whatever, but yeah-- soothing. Like you said, it’s...soothing…” They remembered how the group therapist had encouraged writing or drawing as an outlet. Remmy had taken quite to it. They liked drawing what they saw, copying down detail in an almost hyperfocus manner. “Well, I think I like you, too! You’re really nice and open and...not weird. If that makes sense? Not that weird is bad! I’ve just met a few...really weird people, too.”

Nate nodded, sucking down more of the hot bean juice. “Like I said, anyone can be an artist. Doesn’t matter if you do anything with it. Just so long as it makes you feel good.” He shrugged, his eyes falling to his lap and his cheeks flushing. Nate never could take a compliment. “I cannot promise that weird won’t end up popping up,” he laughed nervously. What was he supposed to say? I’m normal now but wait till I die in some freak accident and come back trying to eat your brains? “But I’m glad I’m not the weirdest person you’ve met here. I mean, I hope.”

“Hey, a little bit of weird isn’t bad. Don’t they say like, normal is boring or whatever?” Remmy grinned. “You’re not, definitely not. I think the woman I met who tried to push me into a car is the weirdest I’ve met so far.” They shrugged it off. Deirdre was a mystery they didn’t really wanna think about right now. The waitress came back with their order and they took it gratefully, taking a long sip. “Um…” they pushed their notebook over towards Nate, a little tentative, a little shy. “I-if you wanna look.” Though they would never admit it, as they weren’t sure of their own talent, their eye for detail gave them the ability to draw from life fairly well. Thin pencil lines, sketchy figures, and some doodles of animals riddled the sketchbook, an unorganized mess, unlike every other aspect of their life. Some drawings layered on top of others, like stacks of photos. They sipped their coffee again.

Nate smiled, a touch of sadness in his eyes. “I respectfully disagree with those people. I’d take normal over weird any day.” Nate’s life was already filled with too much weirdness. “Wait- like she was shoving you into a car or...throwing you in front of one?” Nate’s brow furrowed and he felt oddly protective over this person he just met. “Of course I wanna see!” He reached out, delicately turning the pages of the sketchbook. It was practically exploding with creativity. Lines and shades he’d seen but never really seen, it was so unlike his personal style and so refreshing. You could see real heart. “These are amazing, Remmington. Remmy? Which do you prefer?” He glanced up for only a moment before being sucked back into the book.

“Kinda...both? I’m not really sure. She said she wanted to test something and almost threw me into a taxi. It was fine, obviously, but I got kinda mad at her after that,” Remmy said, as if getting thrown in front of a car was a normal thing. In all honesty, it just didn’t strike them as odd. After all, they’d stuck their hands into a live case of TNT before. Was getting hit by a car really that much different? They felt their chest tingle as Nate delicately flipped through the notebook, suddenly so nervous they couldn’t even drink their coffee, just hold the cup tightly. “What? Really? Y-you think so?” Swallowed. “Oh, um-- either! Either is fine! I don’t mind.” They rolled their bottom lip between their teeth nervously. “I just...like drawing what I see. Nothing special…”

Nate’s mouth dropped open and he had to actively think about closing it so as not to be overly rude. “She- on purpose?? Yeah! I’d be mad too!” Nate nearly had a heart attack just thinking about the ordeal. But he looked back down to the drawings to distract himself. They were really good. Not professional, but that didn’t mean anything to Nate. He actually felt most professional artists were stuck up and rarely creative. “Yeah, Remmy, these are awesome!” He beamed up at them. “I like what you see.” It had been so long since Nate had really stopped to look around, flipping through Remmy’s sketches was like being unafraid to wander through town. It felt free. “You should keep this up. Seriously. Even if it’s just for you.”

Remmy couldn’t help but give a shy smile. “Th-thanks. I, um-- I will. I haven’t had much time lately between all the...stuff, but...I think I’ll try and make time.” They smiled over at Nate, finally relaxed enough again to sip their coffee. “So, um-- do you like, design the buildings and stuff? Or just do more like...blueprints stuff? I’m not-- sorry. I don’t mean to sound like...rude, but I’m not really sure what architects do, like a hundred percent? I’m totally willing to learn though!”

Nate cocked his head to the side. “Like all the getting shoved towards taxis?” He frowned, hoping Remmy wasn’t befriending people that would willingly shove them into oncoming traffic. It wasn’t entirely unheard of in White Crest, especially in the seedier areas. Yet another reason to never leave his house. “Oh, yeah! It really depends on the project, and most of what I get to do around here is restoring some of the town’s older buildings, making sure they’re up to code while maintaining the historical integrity of the design.” He smiled softly, taking another sip of coffee. “But every once in a while someone wants to build an entirely new house or business, then I get to flex my creative chops.” He sighed dramatically. “Those fun projects don’t tend to come around as often, though, so sometimes I just teach a class at the college.”

“Yeah,” Remmy sighed, “like that.” They still hadn’t parsed out Deirdre’s actual intention with doing that. Was it to see if Remmy would move? If they would let her? If they would get scare and run away? It still baffled them, but she hadn’t been eager to talk after that, so the answer would likely never come. So Remmy would concentrate on the here and now. “Wow, that’s so cool! I had no idea that’s what architects actually did...do you go to the houses and like actually help build stuff? Or do you just do more of the like...drawing and planning stuff?” They couldn’t help but be excited by all this. They’d always loved learning new things, even if public schooling had made them feel inadequate. “And you get to teach at the University?? That’s SO cool!”

Nate frowned, already feeling the twinge of protectiveness over this person he’d literally just met. Remmy had already been through so much, they needed a soft place to land, not a place where people literally threw them into oncoming traffic. But he would drop it- for now. Not like he was in any position to go hunting down this person, and to do what, exactly? Yell at them? Punch them? Neither of those things were in Nate’s wheelhouse. “I don’t do too much building, but I do get to visit the sites sometimes to help oversee everything! A lot of what I do is actually project management and organizing the construction crews, but I’ve gotten to know most of the crews around here pretty well, so they send me progress photos and stuff. It’s really cool to see an idea you have come to life right before your eyes.” Nate paused, smiling sheepishly to himself. “It’s really not that cool, most people find it kinda boring. But I love it.”

“Oh, I think that sounds amazing!” Remmy blurted, without thinking much. They reigned themself back in sheepishly. “Sorry. I just-- I don’t think it sounds boring at all! I think that sounds amazing. Getting to do something that actually changes the world around you...even if it’s just a building. And seeing it in progress? That’s just…” they trailed off a bit. “That’s incredible.” They took another long sip of the coffee, realizing it didn’t much taste like anything. It didn’t fill any sort of need inside of them. Not like it used to. “It sounds kinda lame but...when I was younger, I think I always wanted to do something that could, like, change things for the better. I guess that’s why I thought going into the military might...you know. Be like that.”

Nate’s eyes lit up. He so rarely spoke to anyone, let alone about his work, it was refreshing to be able to gush about it to someone who thought it was as interesting as he did. Well, maybe not as much, but at least Remmy was feigning interest! “I’m glad you think it’s interesting! I could definitely tell you more about it, and I mean, if you come help out, you’d get to see a lot of it first hand, too.” Nate knew exactly what they meant. It was the reason so many of his high school peers had enlisted, not knowing what else to do but needing and wanting to do something. He smiled softly, feeling his body loosen a bit from the tense ball it had been in. “I’m Sorry. If it wasn’t, I mean. Like that. Doing something for the better. Or that’s presumptuous- was it?” And he tensed right back up again as he stuck his foot in his mouth.

“Oh, yes! That would be great!” Remmy said excitedly. They had no idea someone would think they were just pretending, because Remmy didn’t have it in them to lie or pretend. “I’d love to learn all that stuff! Even if I’m no good at it, I think it’d be cool to know!” They sipped the coffee again, their legs twitching excitedly. Remmy had never been this excited before. Was this was it meant to find something they loved? “Oh, um-- I think it was, a little. I don’t um-- it’s hard to explain. I think there’s better ways to change things, but...it felt like my only option. I wasn’t the smartest or funniest or strongest. So...that was pretty much it.” They shrugged. “But, I mean-- as far as job offers go, I um-- think I’d be happy to come work for you. I-if you’re still looking.”

Nate sometimes felt like he was looking in a mirror when he talked to Remmy. They’d only known each other a short while, but he felt like he understood them in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. Sure, some of that might be how excited they were about architecture, but it was something more than that, too. Nate remembered what it felt like to be so lost, heck he was still unbearably lost. But when he did what he loved, it wasn’t quite so unbearable. It was part of the reason he hadn’t tried to just end things. Seeing Remmy light up like this, it ignited something in Nate too. “I would be more than happy to have you join the team, Remmy.” He grinned, holding out his hand more confidently than before. “Welcome to the family.”

Remmy couldn’t remember the last time they’d been this excited. They couldn’t remember the last time they’d felt this hopeful. Sure, it was just an assistant job, helping out around Nate’s firm, but it was more than anything they could’ve hoped for in coming to White Crest. Being a security guard was easy and it paid the bills, but it wasn’t exactly the most riveting job. After being in the field for so long, Remmy had found life wasn’t exciting anymore. Remmy took Nate’s hand eagerly. “Thanks, Nate. Really, thank you so much.”

@whatsin-yourhead

[joannaofportugal]

JOANNA DE BRAGANZA / / CHALLENGE 004 

eleven tests completed & eleven explainations wrote out. 

SOUL TYPE TEST | the sage

A Sage soul is one whose role in life is collective expression, communicating big ideas with as many as possible. Natural extraverts, playful expression is fundamental to the Sage’s nature, though they are more adept at entertaining an audience than in coming up with original ideas. They are born attention-seekers, very much at home in front of an audience, taking centre stage. The bigger the audience the better, but any audience will do. The natural goal of any Sage is to express the highs and lows of life for all to see, sharing lifes lessons in an appealing way to create shared understanding. All soul types can manifest positively or negatively in any given moment, as the individual chooses. When manifesting negatively, Sages lapse into ORATION, i.e. hogging the spotlight, loving the sound of their own voice. The positive manifestation is COMMUNICATION, being on the same wavelength as the audience. Famous Sages include Mae West, Oscar Wilde, Bill Clinton, Jim Carrey

NOTE: reading through the soul type was very on-par with joanna’s very person, i would class her as a YOUNG SAGE who chases fame as nowdays celebraties do. she hogs the spotlight, the loves the sound of her own voice - what else could she be? 

MBTI TEST : entp-a ( the debater )

The Debater personality type is the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see. Debaters don’t do this because they are trying to achieve some deeper purpose or strategic goal, but for the simple reason that it’s fun. No one loves the process of mental sparring more than Debaters, as it gives them a chance to exercise their effortlessly quick wit, broad accumulated knowledge base, and capacity for connecting disparate ideas to prove their points.

NOTE: i was surprised, i thought her mbti would come out as something a little more dramatic rather than chasing knowledge or logic in it’s most intense form. i’m not too agreeing with the result, but maybe i can use this information to strengthen her person - and i like the ‘devil’s advocate’ side to it. 

CREEPIEST THING ABOUT YOU TEST: your possessiveness is really uncomfortable

It’s obvious to everyone around you that you feel the need to keep everything just the way you like it, and that insistence often borders on obsession. Your persistence, materialism, and sentimentality can prevent you from ever letting things go, and the more you care about them, the more stubbornly you defend your right to own them forever. Sorry to say, but there are some things, like memories and loved ones, you simply can’t own, and trying to stake your claim over them just makes you seem unbalanced and creepy. It probably wouldn’t hurt to quit being such a hoarder, too - none of your guests enjoy trying to find a seat in a room piled high with reminders of everything you refuse to let die.

NOTE: this is quite onbrand but wouldn’t be the creepiest thing to me when it comes to joanna - though she is posessive i don’t agree that it’s overwhelmingly disgusting.. i’d say it’s her rudest, or need to be right all the time.

TEMPERAMENTS TEST: sanguine 23/24 choleric 18/24 melancholic 05/24 phlegmatic 05/24

Your temperament is sanguine. The sanguine temperament is fundamentally spontaneous and pleasure-seeking; sanguine people are sociable and charismatic. They tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often, when they pursue a new hobby, they lose interest as soon as it ceases to be engaging or fun. They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy. Sanguines generally have an almost shameless nature, certain that what they are doing is right. They have no lack of confidence.

NOTE: this is a much easier answer for me to digest, though joanna isn’t evil she certaily has a rudness that can come across as evil to some people - or perhaps she truly is just a bully. and the last quote, ‘they havae no last of confidence’ is right on the target! though of course, as a young girl there may be bouts of insecurity.. which may evolve into humility or down-right foolery. 

LAWFUL ALIGNMENT TEST: chaotic neutral

A chaotic neutral character follows his whims. He is an individualist first and last. He values his own liberty but doesn't strive to protect others' freedom. He avoids authority, resents restrictions, and challenges traditions. A chaotic neutral character does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a campaign of anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either by good (and a desire to liberate others) or evil (and a desire to make those different from himself suffer). A chaotic neutral character may be unpredictable, but his behavior is not totally random. He is not as likely to jump off a bridge as to cross it.

NOTE: in terms of alignment i think this is the safest option to describe joanna, she is no hero but she is no villain either.. she looks out for herself more than anthing else, though most choices come at random and at various paces.

GREEK DIETY TEST: poseidon

He was god of the Sea and other waters; of earthquakes; and of horses. In pre-Olympian Bronze Age Greece, he was venerated as a chief deity at Pylos and Thebes. Poseidon was protector of seafarers, and of many Hellenic cities and colonies. He is noble and powerful, and is recognized as a figure of leadership.

NOTE: like what happened when i took the same quiz for marius, i lost my first results. my first was aphrodite, which i didn’t necessarily agree with - then came poseidon. i’m happier with this result because poseidon was such a crass and awful man who made hell a lot worse than hades ever could’ve - he killed many whilst at sea, and in my opinion, was one of the most powerful gods of greek mythology. 

ENNEAGRAM TEST: type 7 / 7w8 ( the enthusiast )

People of this personality type are essentially concerned that their lives be an exciting adventure. Sevens are future oriented, restless people who are generally convinced that something better is just around the corner. They are quick thinkers who have a great deal of energy and who make lots of plans. They tend to be extroverted, multi-talented, creative and open minded. They are enthusiasts who enjoy the pleasures of the senses and who don't believe in any form of self-denial.

NOTE: she is certainly a pleasure seeker and planner for distraction and i think this is the closest i’d get to describing joanna though i wouldn’t call her creative due to the fact that she has little skill to anything!

SEXUALITY TEST: 40% heterosexual 30% bisexual 20% asexual 10% homosexual

this needs no description though i will write that of course she hasn’t had sex with anyone yet due to her position? it would be wrong for her to do that as a princess and thus has not experimented with anyone either than taking a few kisses from princes and noblemen. also, she has yet to be awoken to the sense that being attracted to girls is normal, so this quiz is entirely random to the point that it’s made for modern day human beings, not ones from 1455. 

POKEMON TEST: flying type

The Flying type is all about the self. You possess traits that are often sought-after: Confidence, self-respect, and bravery radiate from your being. You are a very self-aware individual, and that knowledge can be employed to great use both alone and socially. Remember, however, to not get too big of a head, Flying-type: Your confidence is good, but empathy is better. Often, you may find yourself at the whimsy of society. You are honorable, but also constantly worried about your self-image remaining pristine. If you allow yourself to become too wrapped up in what others think of you, you may become too flighty and scattered for your own good. Remember to relax, and let your spirit soar!

NOTE: though i find it hard to relate joanna to a pokemon the description is pretty good and i can fit joanna into it - though i’d rather see her as a spoilt and messy jigglypuff. 

TEA TYPE: hibiscus tea

You’re a *lot*. But that’s not a bad thing! You’re unafraid to take up space and make your voice heard. You love being the center of attention and are willing to cause a scene to swivel the spotlight toward you. You’ve got a sharp tongue (you’ve probably been called sassy at least once in your life) and you can use that for good or evil. Your tartness might not be for everyone, but those who get you love your larger-than-life presence.

NOTE: once again it’s pretty lose to joanna’s character and i particaly like the line ‘your tartness might not be for everyone’ 

BIG FIVE PERSONALITY: 

of course i wasn’t going to pay for this quiz so i only have a little information to share: OPENNESS 52% CONSIENTIOUSNESS 10% EXTRAVERSION 100% AGREEABLENESS 21% NEUROTICISM 33%

NOTE: extraversion is a funny one, and i really like the look of this type of quiz but alas i’m poor and i’m not gonna spend money on a made up character! 

and as i did with marius i ended up making a birth chat for her, who was born 29th may, 1438 at 17:39am. 

[batwingdings]

My First Breakup

Heavy California rains last week had engendered a floral superbloom, and streams of butterflies were migrating en masse up north. Instead of witnessing the spectacle in open fields, as I’d hoped, I was staring out at the LA cityscape from the Americana parking lot, at the seemingly infinite pairs of dancing butterflies that peppered the sky. Love was, literally in the air, as my first relationship came to a close..

Our chemistry is good, we laugh at the same things, I feel like I can talk to you, just...

I had a sense this had been coming. What had started as a negligible drift had grown into a maw of unresponsiveness in the past week. I was anxious, hurt, sad, even angry, until my oldest friend reminded me that, “he’s probably mixed up too.” After a few days, I knew it couldn’t be anything else - that I was a dead man walking.

I feel like you’ve reached a place where you feel things about me I don’t feel for you…

It was true. I felt so strongly about him, and had been so eager to spend time together, to plan future dates, that I hadn’t realized his recent reluctance had stemmed from something deeper.

I tried –  

I know you did.

I wish –  

I know. Me too.

I like you, but…

But you don’t love me. That you can’t love me. It’s okay. You don’t have to say it.

I’m sorry –

He looked like he was on the verge of crying. I told him there was nothing to be sorry about. I thanked him for giving me something wondrous and full of joy to look back on. We hugged, and went our separate ways.

Three miles from home I broke down in my car, devolving into a streams of tears and giant, ugly sobs.

I like you, but…

Somedays I feel like I’ve heaved self-work into becoming someone easy to like, but impossible to love.

I think back to the time he had a rough day at work, and I drove through L.A. rush hour traffic to have dinner with him

“Andrew’s here!” he said, as we embraced in his living room. “My boyfriend is here!”

I felt so appreciated.

But that wasn’t love.

I think of the way he embraced, and was even charmed by, in my neuroticisms, my peculiar insistences; my queer and sometimes roundabout diction.

I felt so accepted for who I was.

But that wasn’t love.

Because he didn’t love me.

“And no one will. It took thirty years of searching to find someone who would put up with your bullshit, and now you’ve gone and blown it.”

I lash out at myself, like a snake that had been waiting until I was alone.

I shuttle the nascent thought away.

I’ll be alright.

But it will take time

to get used

to being alone again.

[pokepairs]

Hi!  Thanks so much for doing this, I love this type of thing.  May I request a partner match up?  Here’s a bit about me:

Favorite Weather: Probably windy, rain is also good

Favorite Colors: Dark teal, black, white, gray, dark reds, basically anything that isn’t neon.

Pastimes: Reading, writing, drawing, playing video games, tabletop games, and crochet.

Aspirations: I hope to get into a program to earn my PhD in literature, and/or teach at the college/university level.

Big Five Personality: very low extroversion, about average agreeableness, very high conscientiousness, very high neuroticism, and very high openness.

Personality: Quite shy, pessimistic about myself but very supportive of others, difficult to read, honestly likes helping people and tries to do so whenever possible, has a lot of morbid curiosity, others have told me that they find me very approachable and intelligent.

Let’s see who your partner is!

Mimikyu (#778) / 0′08″ & 1.5lbs / Ghost, Fairy

(1) Usually, I would consider pairing someone shy with an outgoing partner; opposites do attract, after all. However, in this case, I feel as though timidity ought to bind you to your new companion, especially given your other traits. Kindness, supportiveness, an approachable air and a dash of morbid curiosity are traits that can, in different groups, draw many Pokémon to you; but if you want a partner that loves all aspects, then I can think of no better than Mimikyu. Your openminded willingness to support anybody will strike a cord with the insecure, easily-embittered Mimikyu; it has spent much of its time in the shadows, shoved aside by more-beloved creatures with much easier dispositions and cuter appearances. To have a trainer who will love it as it is? That is a dream that, until meeting you, it likely wouldn’t have indulged in. Offering Mimikyu kindness leads to great loyalty being given in turn. Perhaps unexpectedly, Mimikyu will share in your openness and conscientiousness; above all else, it’s a lonely creature, and companionship breeds a desire to please in it. 

(2) Both of your aspirations take you down paths that rely heavily on diligence to succeed; Mimikyu possesses a surprising amount of dedication. Creative and hardworking, it prides itself on its disguise; given its violent resistance to being disrobed, it’s no wonder that should any harm come to its precious garment, it will work tirelessly to repair it. Not only can you draw inspiration from and share in this dogged work ethic, but imagination will allow the two of you to indulge in your more creative hobbies; with surprisingly manipulable appendages, Mimikyu can easily be taught to draw, crochet, or (attempt to) play board games of any sort. Just beware that its childish curiosity and occasional immaturity might lead to a few ruined games if it gets overexcited.

(3) Pessimism about oneself is a terrible burden to bear. Whether about physical or aspects otherwise invisible at first glance, insecurity preys upon the mind. Mimikyu knows this well; its desperation to hide itself is largely a mystery, though the apparent fatal effect of bearing witness to its true form may have something to do with that. Frustration at struggling to stay hidden leads to despair in Mimikyu; if its disguise is broken and mending it proves difficult, this Pokémon may lapse into great stress and grief. Your supportiveness will build Mimikyu back up, soothing the hurt left behind by its unhappiness; but equally, Mimikyu will recognise some dissatisfaction within yourself. Does this pessimism come from things you cannot change, or will growth as a person turn your self-aimed rancour into content? Either way, Mimikyu can help you grow into somebody who looks at themselves with a little more love.

I hope you like your partner! It definitely seems to like you.

[asraspeaks-blog]

Ex's neuroticism

I'm happy to be back, but I do miss Spain, especially Barcelona.

My parents are staying until Sunday morning and then I'm off to see Bohemian Rhapsody with a friend.

My younger son has no school on Monday and the Ex told him to text me to pick him up on Sunday night. The Ex would rather lose an overnight than take a day off to spend with his son. And yet the courts gave that fucker 30% custody. Also the ass didn't give me a time so I feel like I'm on call. I should make the Ex take the day off, but I'd rather have my son than torture the Ex (by default, my son would have to deal with the Ex's crazy bullshit).

The Ex is having other troubles. The idiot is now working 7 days a week. He's salaried so he's not eligible for overtime. My family therapist suggests he's having home troubles, hence the reason he's never there. The Ex just dumps my children in his filthy condo and disappears the whole day. His wife and daughter lock themselves in a bedroom and don't come out until he returns.

My boys eat junk until they can order a proper meal.

The reality is the Ex is spiraling. I was told this was going to happen. I'm happy I don't have to be witness to this, but my sons are dealing with it. I have to counter his behavior with stability in my home. I have to make sure meals are cooked, laundry is done (my older son does most of it), and house is clean.

I still worry about what will happen when they are adults. How will they process all this and grow up to be mentally stable? We're sticking with therapy, but I wonder if it can temper the effect their father's behavior.

[theguildedtypewriter]

Developing Your Characters: Taking Quizzes and Understanding Character Types

So, when I plan out characters I really enjoy taking personality tests for them to get a glimpse of what they are really like. Obviously, these tests can’t tell us everything and they are very general. However, they do help me to put myself into the mind frame of my character.

Additionally, I have found it very useful to look at what “character type” my OC fits into. There are basic archetypes throughout stories and writing and while they can be very trope heavy or over simplified, they can provide a foundation to build off of, particularly when you’re at the beginning of a writing journey like I was when I decided to write the Newborn City Series. 

I looked at the website  www.characterchange.com to see the archetypes and how they typically play out and grow in a story. It has amazing information. Here is what it looked like when I did this for my character Dimitri Romanov. This is straight from my Evernote file. 

P.S. I highly suggest using a program like Evernote when planning out a story or novel, especially a series. It helps keep me organized and gods know I am anything but.

Character Type from Character Change Site

The Adventurer

Adventurers seek excitement to avoid suffering. Happiness is their goal. The most extroverted type, they have a lust for life and are hungry for new experiences. This is an escape from their inner selves. But when they finally exhaust their manic resources, they find that they can no longer hide from their festering anxieties.

In their careers, they look for travel opportunities. Flight attendants, pilots, and outdoor photographers are typically Adventurers. They avoid repetitive jobs, and are often successful as entrepreneurs.

In their free time, they may be adrenaline junkies who flirt with danger by rock climbing, sky diving, or race car driving.

At their worst, Adventurers are impulsive, manic, and self-destructive.

At their best, Adventurers are fun-loving, spontaneous, and enthusiastic.

Reaction Pattern: Adventurer is 7, so his is 7,1,4,2,8,5,7

*Check out explanation of the reaction pattern on characterchange.com. 

Myers-Briggs Personality Test Results-

"Where's the party?" ESFPs love people, excitement, telling stories and having fun. The spontaneous, impulsive nature of this type is almost always entertaining. And ESFPs love to entertain -- on stage, at work, and/or at home. Social gatherings are an energy boost to these "people" people.

SPs sometimes think and talk in more of a spider-web approach. Several of my ESFP friends jump from thought to thought in mid-sentence, touching here or there in a manner that's almost incoherent to the listener, but will eventually cover the waterfront by skipping on impulse from one piece of information to another. It's really quite fascinating.

New! ESFPs are attracted to new ideas, new fashions, new gadgets, new ______. Perhaps it's the newness of life that attracts ESFPs to elementary education, especially to preschool and kindergarten.

ESFPs love to talk to people about people. Some of the most colorful storytellers are ESFPs. Their down-to-earth, often homespun wit reflects a mischievous benevolence.

Almost every ESFP loves to talk. Some can be identified by the twenty minute conversation required to ask or answer a simple factual question.

ESFP stands for Extravert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving

You have moderate preference of Extraversion over Introversion (33%)

You have slight preference of Sensing over Intuition (12%)

You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (25%)

You have distinct preference of Perceiving over Judging (67%)

Psych Central Personality Test Results- 

The personality test that you've just taken is based on the Five Factor Model of personality. Personality psychologists believe this is a pretty good description of the broad traits or general areas that go to make up a person's core personality. Personality isn't set in stone, however, so keep that in mind if you see anything you'd like to alter below. Teenagers and young adults should take the below results with a bit of caution, as their personalities are still under development (personality is generally pretty well formed by one's mid 20's).

What do each of the 5 traits mean?

Extraversion - Energy, enthusiasm, socialable

Agreeableness - Altruism, helping others, affection, friendliness

Conscientiousness - Control, will, constraint, dependability

Neuroticism - Negative emotions, nervousness

Openness to Experience - Originality, culture, open-minded, intellect

Extraversion

This trait reflects a person's preference for certain kinds of social situations, and how they like to behave in such situations. People high in extraversion are energetic and seek out the company of others. People low in extraversion -- what some might call introverts -- tend to be more quiet and reserved.

You scored really high on this trait, suggesting you have a lot of energy and tend to enjoy most social situations.

Agreeableness

This trait reflects how we tend to interact with others, especially in terms of our altrusim and friendliness. People who score higher in agreeableness tend to be more trusting, friendly and cooperative than others. People who score lower tend to be more aggressive and less cooperative.

You scored average for this trait, suggesting you have average friendliness and agreeableness.

Conscientiousness

This trait reflects how organized and persistent a person is in pursuing their goals. People who score high on this trait tend to be more methodical, well-organized and dutiful than others. People who score lower tend to be less careful, less focused and more likely to be distracted from tasks.

You scored really low on this trait, suggesting you're less focused and more easily distracted.

Neuroticism

This trait reflects the tendency for a person to experience negative thoughts and feelings. People who score high on this trait tend to be more prone to insecurity and emotional distress. People who score lower tend to be more relaxed, less emotional and less prone to distress.

You scored really high on this trait, suggesting you're more emotional and more insecure than others.

Openness to Experience

This trait reflects a person's open-mindedness, and interest in culture and art. People who score high on this trait tend to be imaginative, creative, and to seek out cultural and educational experiences. People who score lower on this trait tend to be more down-to-earth, less interested in art and more practical in nature.

You scored really high on this trait, suggesting you love art and try to keep open-minded.

DISC Personality Test Results-

Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively high in Dominance:

enjoy competition and challenge.

are goal orientated and want to be recognised for their efforts.

aim high, want authority and are generally resourceful and adaptable.

are usually self-sufficient and individualistic.

may lose interest in projects once the challenge has gone and they tend to be impatient and dissatisfied with minor detail.

They are usually direct and positive with people, enjoying being the centre of attraction and may take it for granted that people will think highly of them. They may have a tendency to be rather critical of others. Consequently, other people may tend to see them as being rather domineering and overpowering.

Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively high in Influence:

are strongly interested in meeting and being with people.

are generally optimistic, outgoing, and socially skilled.

are quick at establishing relationships.

Sometimes their concern for people and people's feelings may make them reluctant to disturb a favourable situation or relationship.

Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively low in Steadiness:

tend to enjoy change and variety in their work and non-work life.

are expansive by nature and tend not to like routine and repetitive work/activities.

They enjoy stretching themselves intellectually and physically.

Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively low in Compliance:

are independent and uninhibited.

resent rules and restrictions.

prefer to be measured by results and are always willing to try the untried.

Free in thought, word and deed, they long for freedom and go to great lengths to achieve it. They feel that repetitive detail and routine work is best "delegated" or avoided.

Locus of Control and Attributional Style Test Results-

Success Orientation       17

When it comes to successes in your life, you appear to have an external locus of control. This means that you do not think you have what it takes to control whether you are successful or not. When you do well at something, you likely attribute it to things like luck, being at the right place at the right time, or the ease of the task. As a consequence, you probably don't take the credit you deserve. Your self-esteem, motivation, and general well-being would most likely be improved if you realized that you actively influence positive events in your life.

Well, there you have it folks! I hope this helps give you some good ideas for developing your character. But, when in doubt listen to them, you’re characters know who they are. You just need to let them shine! (Or, blow stuff up in the case of Dimitri.)

[outoftheinkwell]

I just watched Baymax Returns and ooh goosh do I have thoughts...

Older followers may remember my BH6 phase back in 2014, and those with a sharp wit may even recall me vying for a TV series, like, the week after it came out. So the fact that this finally exists and has been put forth into the media sphere makes me happier than words can describe.

But first, I would kindly like to ask people to leave their comments about the blandness of the series at the door. As it’s been shown from many, many animated pilots in the past, the show is just starting to warm up. Look at Bob’s Burgers, for example. Give it time to grow; don’t snap judge it so quickly. It’s only just begun, after all – and with the Kim Possible creators behind it, I feel confident about it.

I do unfortunately have to agree about the animation style being a little stilted, though I don’t necessarily think the look of the show is a bad thing! I love the influences the animation team drew upon to develop the visual look. I love the overall anime-esque style they pulled out for the character designs and the world’s feel. I love how they were able to translate the look and feel of the super suits into this smaller scale. I love the action scenes. I love the evil Baymax army. AND I LOVE THAT THEY GOT THE ORIGINAL VOICE CAST BACK HOOOMYGOSH. But the anime-esqueness does come with a lack of variety in facial expressions, though again, I have faith.

As far as the story does go, I looove all of the callbacks to the movie – and they weren’t all obvious, either! Granted I had watched the movie the night prior to watching the pilot, but there were things I picked up on right away. Specifically pointing out how Tadashi wanting to help a lot of people. Bringing up Tadashi’s last words to the dean. “It’s really not.” Even the subtle comment about Hiro switching Baymax’s charging system, a SUPER minor detail brought up in the beginning of the movie like look at how closely these writers were paying attention!! Clearly they did their homework in making this series, and as a transitional piece to get the gaps filled in between the end of the movie, I think it works fabulously. Flawlessly, even; a lot is left ambiguous in large time skips and the foreshadowing for the rest of the season is just too cool.

Granville could have been less of a hard ass though, or at least... more subtle about it, I think. And the pacing did take a bit to kick in. But again, I’m chalking this all up to pilot syndrome – and her last exchange with Hiro was really touching. Another thing I’m sort of worried about carrying on post-pilot is Fred’s overbearing, overeager nature and Wasabi’s neuroticism. It’s still way early in the game to worry about or even tell of their flanderization, but I can already sort of see the potential for disaster on a few sides, and I can only hope it will be avoided. I would say between the movie and the pilot, about 98% of interactions and general depictions translated as “in-character” behavior for me. Fred did feel a little out of line sometimes, but at least it was balanced by the in-universe group getting annoyed with him as well.

And screw anyone who says this show isn’t funny!! There were quite a few bits that had me laughing out loud, for sure.

I also love that they’re already starting to worldbuild with district names and fast food chains and transportation!! That’s so cool to me. Noodleburger sounds adorable and delicious. And I looove that they sort of kind of gave Aunt Cass more to do even in the background (and that they got Maya Ruduolph back for her!) And I love love looove the display of all of the tech at the college... from the projects on the Quad to those sick liquid sucking robots in the cafeteria. Again, it really shows a cool level of attention to detail on the part of the staff and animators. I can’t wait to see how this is pushed further.

(Warning for more in-depth death talk below. I wouldn’t usually think to do this, especially given that this hinges on a major plot point in the movie. But I’ll be talking more so about real life death, and something happened a few days ago that I’m a little raw over still, so I don’t want to drop this on anyone out of the blue)

On one final, more personal note (and this is super morbid of me so be warned), it seems like Tadashi is staying gone for good and I’m actually really glad they’re going down that route!? The only reason I bring this up is because a LOT of people seem to think they’re going to bring his character from the comics into the mix or create a new one for him, but I really love the idea of him being on the team THROUGH Baymax.

Part of the reason I connect so deeply with BH6 to begin with is because it came out in the wake of me still trying to move on from the death of my childhood friend, whose life was cut short in a drunk driving accident almost a year prior. Hiro’s struggle to accept that even though he died, Tadashi is still with him through what he’s left behind, hit home really hard. I’m glad it’s already being addressed in the show and used to the storytellers’ advantage.

So tl;dr: I’m really looking forward to the direction this series is headed from here on out. I don’t know what it is about these super nerds that keeps drawing me back to them, but I love them and can’t wait to see what heroic misadventures they get into.

[thefattybelle]

I was on my grandmother's custody in my elementary years. I can say that the level of my Openness is high. In my 2nd grade, I am curious about how things works. I can vividly remember how I fell on an open concrete at the backyard of our school. I was curious of knowing what is inside of it then suddenly I fell and got bruises around me. I was interested in many things such as playing with my classmates in our recess time, vandalizing walls and even scrapping the paints in our tables. It was somehow an odd thing for me to remember. I am independent since then because I grew up not being raised by my parents and not being that attached to them like how other kids do.

I have a low score for Conscientiousness. I remember when I was an elementary student, I am impulsive; I tend to get easily swayed by my classmates to cut classes and even skip just to play at the grounds of our school. I am careless , going home without dirt on my uniform is a big miracle for my grandma to witness. I am also disorganized with my trolley bag making all of my things to have scratches and crumpled parts on it. I was really that typical messy kid.

I am an Extrovert kid.

I am outgoing, I can also say that I am warm with my elementary friends by always sharing my snacks in every recess time. I seek adventures with them by influencing them that something is nice outside of our school premises.

I am Agreeable also.

I like volunteering in our class before by erasing what is written on the blackboard. My teacher also trusts me by making me as an assigned student to list down those who are noisy, which sounds ironic because I am also labeled as a talkative kind of student before.

Lastly, I score myself low in the Neuroticism it is because in my elementary days I was really calm, even-tempered and secure. I see myself just always going with the flow. I do not push myself way too hard to prove things. I am a legit happy kiddo back then.

And this is me on my 2nd grade with chubby cheeks and weird hairstyle 👇😅

Also 5th grade was the most memorable year of my entire elementary years it is because I won first place in a singing competition in our school and got known all over the school by that. It was like an opportunity that has opened for me to further explore my talent in the field of singing. I was able to be invited as a judge for singing events also in our school. 🎤🎶