No change can happen until we as a society stop considering women as an "absence", or beings that "lack" things.
Women are not seeing as individual beings. They are seen as non-men. In ancient times, fertility in women was celebrated. Women were the creators, they were to be celebrated. But a reactionary movement brought phalluses under the spotlight instead. Everything began to be centered around penises, and in turn, their lack thereof. To this day, it's still one of the worst thing that can be conceived by humans (=men and women who still haven't woken up): not having a penis, not having balls, having a small or non functioning penis. It's all about that. Dick, dick, dick. Dicks drawn everywhere, "dick envy", ordinary objects shaped like dicks, dicks celebrated as the gods of fertility. But sperm is always readily available, unlike eggs. Women who are fertile aren't fertile all the time, their ovulatory cycle is more complicated, and it works on the basis of selection, just like the selection of the winning sperm, so as to call it. But that is an argument for another day, going back to the original purpose of this post...
Men are the center of everything. Their bodies are the icons of strength, of functionality, while women are seen as weak, because they don't excel in the same fields where men are the most fit to excel in, because of biomechanics and all. And women do have their own strengths, strengths that men don't and can't have - because of biomechanics still. But they don't matter, all misogynists care about is how to weaken the image of a woman.
Men are seen as more intelligent, when you think of a philosopher, you'd imagine a stoic, solitary man, who is superior to all in his mind... And usually hates women, because unlike other men, women are too dumb to understand his man-struggles.
Men are the default. Masculine is the default. Women are sinners, they ate the apple, they were made from a man's rib, they have to cover their whole bodies because they're nothing but temptation to men. Even the most enlightened men that history celebrates were raging misogynists, women were and are treated as subhuman by the patriarchal society we sadly still live in.
And then comes lesbianism. Men just can't grasp the concept of a woman liking another woman. Not a failed man, not a non-man, not a weak failed copy of a man, not a sex object, not a child bearer, not a free house wife. Lesbians don't like women the way that men think they like women. Lesbians like WOMEN. To them, to us, a woman is the center of all. The body of a woman is not just a man without the holy penis and the holy balls, nor is it a talking breathing sex dolls with perfectly round boobs and easy-to-lubricate holes. A woman has her own shapes, shapes that don't need to be deformed in some unnatural way to fit a sex position, no, a woman has different body proportions, body fat distribution, and yet she has body hair, and isn't born with makeup.
Women are women. They are their own individuals, a man with long hair would not be a woman the same way that a woman with short hair would not be a man. They are different, and different ≠ inferior. Different means different skills, different ways to shine.
To a man, a woman being a lesbian is an act of rebellion. Because the lesbian both ceases to live as an object whose only purpose is to serve men, and because, being a woman who loves women, she does not center her world view around men. Men are not her default, women are. Men are not her focus, women are.
And it's why men can't understand why some lesbians for example like butches but, obviously, not men. They see women as non-men when they see hypersexualized caricatures of women, when you take that hypersexualization away, when a butch has short hair and wears "mens clothes" and "looks like a man" all she is, to men, is a man without a penis. So "why not just go for the real man, with a real penis?". They can't fathom the idea of not liking penis just like they don't understand that butches and women who don't perform the construct of femininity they built are, in fact, still women.
Same way how they see two "femme" lesbians in porn using a strap-on and say the same thing, how if they use a strap-on then they can do a real man. Firstly, they don't understand that a woman with a strap on during sex is, in fact, still a woman. And secondly, they are seeing a part of themselves, their most precious and cherished part, being used as an object without much importance by the category of people that will never link with men. And they can't grasp that.
To men, a man who lost or is without a functioning penis and balls is not a man. He's emasculated, he's not virile, he's weak. They may feel pity for him.
For women, a woman who lost or is without a functioning part of her reproductively apparatus is still a woman. A woman who isn't fertile is still a woman, and doesn't lose any value in the eyes of women (except conservative trad-wives, maybe). A woman who lost her breast(s) doesn't lose value. A woman who has bigger breasts isn't more valuable than a woman with smaller breasts, while men argue within themselves all the time with "who has it bigger".
Women are not non-men, they are women. We have been erased, we have been shaped to the liking of men for too long, it's time to react. We need to speak up, not only for us, but for those sisters who still haven't opened their eyes, and those sisters who can't use their voices because it puts their lives in danger. We are not men, we are not inferior because we are not men, we are different, but we are still strong. We are different, but just as valuable. We will not bear in silence.
I'm a lesbian, I love women. I don't love non-men, I love women and all that has to do with their being a woman.
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the men and boys are innocent too.
we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.
I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.
I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.
I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.
I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.
the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.
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