#world's most distrusting man meets other world's most distrusting man

[leaffiii]

they barely tolerate each other

[suppose-i-was-worm]

Like the Beat of a Drum pt 1

It began when Tim’s soulmark came in- fourteen years later than most children. He didn’t tell his parents, already well aware of what they thought of his late/non-existent soulmark.

He knew what society thought of people who were more than ten years older than their soulmate, and he didn’t want to be labeled a cradle-robber, so he discretely bought a patch to cover it with. Being markless was also helpful for being Robin- nothing to identify him by or to threaten his soulmate with.

Bruce said that having a soulmate was fine, as long as nobody ever saw your mark- even Tim hadn’t seen Bruce’s mark, though he knew where it was.

Tim didn’t know if he wanted a soulmate, but he was the first (and only) to admit that he couldn’t wait to meet this “Daniel Fenton”.

What he wouldn’t admit to anyone is that sometimes, when he was feeling particularly lonely, he could hear a heartbeat other than his own, pulsing from the mark just over his sternum. People would think he was crazy, and that was something he couldn’t afford on top of being labeled markless.

Nobody could know that Tim had a soulmate. He almost pitied the kid who got stuck with him.

~~~

Danny hadn’t had a soulmate before he died. He’d never heard a heartbeat that was a perfect harmony to his own, even when he listened hard.

After he’d died, the heartbeat he began to hear was always loud in his ears, and he had a smudged bit of writing on his hip. When he’d gone to Frostbite about the weird new mark, the yeti explained that other universes had soulmates, and their marks might be different from his own universe.

“You’ll find the right one someday, and then your mark will become clear.”

Sometimes Danny tried to imagine what his soulmate would look like. Would they be fine with him being a ghost? Would they treat him like the rest of the world did, with disgust and revulsion and distrust?

Surely not. Soulmate implied that they would be perfect counterpoints to each other. He assumed that meant they would get along.

The mark was always clearer when he was Phantom. Sometimes he imagined it cleared up a little as Danny depending on the choices he made, but he wasn’t sure about that- it’s not like he’d told anyone that he had a weird new tattoo, and it was in an odd place to look at.

He often found himself floating and looking up at the stars on quiet nights, day-dreaming about having someone perfect for him and him alone.

~~~

Tim grit his teeth and kept moving, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in his chest as he fought. He knew he hadn’t been stabbed- that felt different. Clearly, his soulmate was in some kind of trouble.

It’s not like he could do anything for them- he was currently fighting some ninja-cultist-assassin weirdos with Jason.

“We will raise the Ghost King and he shall bring fire upon the world!”

Dick had already swooped in and saved the little girl they were trying to use as a sacrifice, but something had triggered the summoning circle anyways after Tim had tried to mess up one of the lines. It was bubbling neon green, and Tim couldn’t decide if it looked more like the Lazarus pits or more like highlighter ink.

His second heartbeat pounded, a loud drum beneath his hidden soulmark, a soulmark that had been sore for days.

He had worried, of course, that someone was in danger and he couldn’t save them- especially as the fight started and the pain became worse.

To his relief, after the sigil started bubbling, the pain receded, as did the noise, and he could think about other things. Such as the so-called ‘Ghost King’.

With a rumble and a crack like thunder, the green pit spit out a slight figure that hung in midair for a moment, before dropping like a rock onto the place where the pit had been moments before.

Tim knocked out the last cultist and turned to face the new threat, but was instead greeted with a young man with floating white hair, curled up on his side, green blood oozing rapidly from… All of him.

What the hell?

~~~

Danny woke up slowly, feeling all sorts of sluggish. The ectoplasm in the air was thick, so he must be in one of two places- Amity, or the Infinite Realms.

The lack of restraints around his wrists and ankles made him think it was the Realms, but when he pried open his eyes, he was shocked to find himself somewhere altogether unfamiliar.

It was a medbay, of sorts- that he could tell, but from the glass wall he could see a vast cavern, filled with various bits and bobs. He could hear bats distantly chirping above him.

Before moving more than his head, Danny took stock of his situation. He did feel weighed down, yes, but it felt more like blood loss than anything else. There were bandages across his chest, and the heart monitor was letting out a long beep, as if warning everyone in the vicinity that the patient was dead.

Something heavy was taped to his hip, over his soulmark. He winced at the thought- Jack and Maddie had attacked that area with a single-minded intensity, thinking it was the thing that caused him to ‘possess their baby’.

Probably another bandage, but who would go through the trouble of wrapping him up? No one in Amity would, at least, nobody who had the kind of tech he could see. Vlad would just find a way to manipulate him because of his pain, not patch up his wounds.

The last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was a tugging at his core, pulling him away from the Fenton lab and into a world of green before that world went black.

“You’re awake.”

Startled from his thoughts, Danny looked to the door to see a young man in primary colors and a domino mask. The stranger tilted his head.

“Can you understand me?”

Danny tried to answer, but all that would come out of his dry mouth was a rasp, so he settled on a nod.

The stranger came closer, bringing with him a glass of water that he held to Danny’s lips.

Suspiciously, Danny took a sip, but all he could taste was clean water, so he drank slowly until the stranger pulled the glass away.

“Wh-where am I?”

“Gotham City, New Jersey.”

Now, Danny hadn’t ever been stellar at Geography, but he was pretty sure he’d never heard of a city called Gotham. Part of him thought that it would be just the right place for Sam to live- Goth-am.

“Would you be up to answering a few questions?”

The stranger was looking at him expectantly, so Danny nodded. Maybe he’d get information if he gave some.

“Wonderful. Do you have a name?”

“Phantom.”

The stranger typed something out into a computer Danny hadn’t noticed before.

“Thank you. Where are you from?”

~~~

“Illinois.”

Tim hadn’t been expecting such a mundane answer from the odd person in the Batcave medbay, but he was well aware that metas came from all over the world, even if they got spit out by Lazarus portals.

“Do you know how you got here?”

Phantom shook his head.

“I was- in the lab, and then everything was green. I passed out pretty fast after that.”

Now, the bats might be emotionally stunted, but Tim was the greatest detective that ever lived, so analytically he was fine. ‘In the lab’ plus the wounds the meta was sporting? That told a disastrous story.

“Can you tell me if anyone else was in the lab with you?”

Phantom paused for a long time.

“I just want to help, Phantom. There might be other metas in danger there.”

“Meta?”

Tim hadn’t expected Phantom to not know what a meta was- that painted an even worse picture than he thought.

He made sure his voice was kind and even when he answered.

“Powered individuals with the meta gene. I haven’t run your DNA yet, I was waiting for you to wake up for permission, but I’m sure you have the gene. There are protective acts in place to stop the abuse of powered individuals- we want to help.”

Much to his surprise, after gaping through his explanation, Phantom laughed!

“No! I’m not- no- my condition- it’s medical, not genetic.”

Tim winced. This poor guy, he’d been brainwashed.

“There wasn’t anyone else in the lab. I saved the rest of us before getting caught.”

Phantom’s tone was airy, but Tim could hear an underlying strength to it.

“What am I supposed to call you, by the way?”

~~~

Danny watched as the stranger went through several stages of grief at his question, and wondered how in the world it had been an odd query.

“I’m- Red Robin. Of the Gotham Bats.”

Oh. That’s why. Danny nodded sagely.

“Sports, I see. Which one requires masks? Cribbage?”

Ope, there went several more stages of grief, perhaps even some as of yet unknown to man.

“No. The Bats are vigilantes. We work with the Justice League, a group of superheroes in charge of world safety.”

Look. Danny might live under a proverbial rock in Amity Park, but superheroes? Never heard of ‘em. Point one to being a different universe.

Well. Point several, he just couldn’t remember the others. Wait a second-

“Are soulmarks a thing here?”

“What? Yes, why?”

Danny shot up, despite the pain in his chest and side and- everywhere.

“Can you show me a soulmark? Do you have one?”

Red Robin’s face shuttered behind the mask, and the heartbeat in Danny’s ears sped up a little.

“I do not.”

“Oh. Sorry. I just- Sorry.”

There was a noise from outside of the medical area, and then a voice called out.

“Red Robin? Is our guest awake? I brought a representative from the JLD.”

The vigilante got up and went out quickly, and Danny felt really bad for hurting him. For a few minutes he was left alone, so he lay back down and stared at the wall.

And then. And. Then.

“YOU!”

Danny shot up into a sitting position again, pointing at the man in the trench coat who came into the room.

Trench coat man looked confused.

Not caring for his stitches or monitors or anything like that, Danny struggled onto his feet, forgetting the pain in his anger.

“Do you, John Constantine, know how much of a pain in my ass you are?” He sneered and let his voice take on a nasally tone. “’Oh Great One, Phantom, lord of the realms and all that shit! John Constantine sold his soul to me, but he sold it to my cousin too! Who gets the soul now?’”

Danny ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

“You know who gets his soul now, Constantine? I fucking do! I-“ He flagged- maybe he shouldn’t air out this guy’s dirty laundry in front of strangers? “Anyways, fuck you, dude. Find a way to get me home and never fucking sell your soul again.”

~~~

Tim was honestly shocked that Phantom had been able to move in the state he was in, even with what Tim suspected was accelerated healing.

His extra heartbeat had started pounding a mile a minute the moment Phantom saw Constantine, but Tim ignored it for now, instead focusing on their guest.

When Phantom mentioned being sent home, Tim had to step in.

“I don’t believe that is wise, Phantom. You came to us severely injured. My conscious would not let me send you away without-“

Constantine was backing away from Phantom, so fast that he ran into Dick standing at the door.

“Nope. Not dealing with that. No offense, King Phantom, but you’re above my paygrade.”

Phantom (king?) stood still for a moment, looking lost, but then he drew himself up.

“John Constantine, I am your paygrade. Send me where I’m supposed to be.”

Tim watched curiously as Constantine winced.

“That’s some. Pretty vague wording there, your royalness. That is a spell, that I can cast, but whether it does anything or not?” He shrugged. “Can’t tell.”

Phantom slumped, and then waved a limp hand at Constantine.

“Yeah, I didn’t figure. Sorry I yelled at you. I’ll try not to lord the whole ‘I own your soul’ over you too much. Can you at least get me back to the Realms?”

“It might take me a while. What will you do in the meantime?”

Sighing, Phantom made his way back to the med cot, sitting on the edge gingerly.

“Heal the rest of the way. Haunt an abandoned building. Do whatever the hell ghosts do in this dimension.”

“Ghosts?”

Dick spoke up, and Tim could tell his brother was a little shell-shocked.

Phantom winced.

“I mean, as long as ghosts aren’t like, science experiments in this one. Been there, done that. Not fun.”

Constantine shrugged.

“There aren’t a lot of you running around, you should be fine.” He turned to Tim and Dick. “Bats, don’t cause an interdimensional incident. Phantom may be a good king, but he’s still a king.”

“Only on days that end in y.”

With another shrug, John disappeared in a swirl of tan trench coat.

Tim looked to Phantom, who was scowling at the place that Constantine vanished from.

“Well, your majesty, can we offer you any assistance?”

~~~

With a groan, Danny stood back up off the bed.

“No- I think I’m healed enough to get out of your hair by now. Uh. Thank you for your hospitality and all, but I should be… Trying to find a way home.”

“Whoever is back where you came from wants to hurt you, Phantom.”

Danny wasn’t sure why Red Robin seemed to care so much. Sure, he had pretty much decided that if anything happened to Red Robin he’d ice everyone in the vicinity and then finish the job on himself, but that was just him. He was pretty sure everyone imprinted on the first person they saw in a new reality.

Right?

“There are people I have to protect.”

He had to keep himself from wincing at the half-truth. He’d ordered the ghosts to stay away from Amity Park right before Jack and Maddie had captured him, so they were fine, but he had to protect Jazz and Sam and Tucker from finding out that the Fentons were so awful as to attack their son.

“You have to protect yourself first.”

The other man had stepped into the room.

“You’ve obviously been through something hard, Phantom. Take a break. We can find a safe house for you to stay in until you are feeling better. I’m Nightwing, by the way.”

Danny nodded to Nightwing, and then looked expectantly at Red Robin, who was tapping away at his wrist computer.

“Collectively, the only one of us with a suitable safe house is Red Hood. His have great security systems, but aren’t connected to the bats main computer network in any way.”

He looked up from his computer with a smile.

“Ready to meet a zombie, Mister Ghost King?”

[lincolndjarin]

Every Now and Then - ch. two

[ And if You Only Hold Me Tight ]

pairing : joel miller x f!reader, platonicsoulmate!tommy & f!reader

word count : 9.3k

summary : you spend some time tommy, you spent some time with joel.

tags/warnings : 18+ mdni, angst, canon typical violence, language, panic attacks, violence, injury, wounds, possessive behavior, toxic relationships, animal death, i probs missed some i never know how to tag so lmk if i misses anything !!

a/n : this took so long and i dont even know it its good so i'm deeply sorry about that.

ao3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ main masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ kofi

Now - JACKSON, WYOMING : 2023

“It’s nice to meet you Ellie.” You hold your hand out across the table to her, offering your own name up in the process, noticing an incredulous look in her eyes as you say it. Of course she doesn’t shake it, you’ve worked with enough survivors her age to know how they think. 

She doesn’t trust any of this, and you can’t blame her. Every single thing she’s seen since arriving here is too good to be true, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s okay, you can be patient. She just needs to learn how to be a kid again. When she makes no attempt to move you pull your hand back, your smile never wavering. You’ve met kids in much worse condition than this, you can work with this. 

“Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself, Ellie.” You set the notebook you’d been writing in back down onto the table, you don’t want this to feel like an interrogation for her, it needs to be a conversation or you won’t get any of the information you need.

“Like what?” She’s slouched down into the chair, her arms crossed across her chest. She has her defenses up, she has spent her entire life protecting herself, she isn’t going to stop just because a stranger offered her a mug of tea. A mug of tea that she has notably not touched. 

“Anything you want to, or I could ask some specifics if you’d like.” You take a sip of your own tea, hoping it might show her it’s safe. She only hums in response, you decide it might be for the best if you just ask her what you need to know. “Let’s start with a few easy ones, how old are you?” 

“Why do you need to know?” 

“We need to assess your health, what classes you’ll be put in, if you’ll be needing any feminine products. I promise, anything I ask is for your own good.” Seeing kids like Ellie is a painful reminder of just how lucky your own little ones are, it’s a wonder she made it this far. You can’t hold her skepticism against her, her distrust is why she’s still alive. “Would it help if we brought your father in? He’s just down the hall with Maria.” You aren’t sure why, you typically handle every stray but she had insisted on helping you out today. She’d spewed some sort of excuse about how Ellie might need some special attention but as far as you can tell she’s in the same state that most kids are in when they arrive. 

“He’s not my dad.” She’s quick to say it, as if it’s a sore subject. 

“May I ask his relation to you then?” Maria had told you she arrived with her father, you were told to expect one teenage girl and one man in his fifties.

“He’s… my friend?” She sounds unsure, unsure enough to ring alarm bells in your head. 

“Honey, are you in a safe situation? We can help you if you need-” She doesn’t even let you finish your question before sitting up straighter.

“No, no, no, gross, it’s not like that, he’s not like that.” The look of disgust on her face brings you immense relief, this world is full of enough horrors for a young woman to face. 

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure.” Even if she hasn’t been through that, she hasn’t had it easy, no one has. But there’s something distinct in her eyes. Loss. She’s seen more than enough of it, more than anyone her age should. Her eyes keep darting to the door, her head tilts in that direction every time someone walks by. She’s worried about her companion. She doesn’t want to lose him too. “I know none of this makes sense, and you have no reason to trust me but I need you to try Ellie. And if I ask you anything you aren’t comfortable with then you don’t have to answer but I need you to try, please. The faster we finish up here, the faster you can get back to your friend.” 

She takes a moment, you’re practically holding your breath when she finally nods.

Perfect, you can work with a nod. You love a nod, a nod is all you need to help this girl.

“Let’s start with your age again.” 

“Fourteen.” You’ll have to have a menstruation kit sent to whatever house they put her in, most people’s cycles start being regular once after a few months in Jackson.

“Thank you.” All you get is another nod yet you can’t help but smile. “Do you know where you were born?”

“No.” Her eyes are trained on your shoes, occasionally darting around the room but staying low for the most part. 

“Where did you grow up?” 

“The QZ.” The thought makes you sick for several reasons. The last place a child should grow up is the streets of a quarantine zone, even if she was in the FEDRA program it wouldn’t have been easy. The thought of any QZ still makes you queasy, even after this long. 

“Which one?” Anywhere but Boston. 

“Boston.” Of course. With your luck she would be. Someone’s far from home.  

“FEDRA program?” As terrible as they are, they always keep the kids' vaccinations up to date, one less thing for you to worry about. 

“Mhmm.” 

“How old were you when you left?”

“Fourteen.” How the hell did she make it to Jackson all the way from Boston in such a short period of time? Why come to Jackson at all? There’s certainly other QZ’s between here and there, there’s probably other settlements too. 

“Can I ask why you left?” It’s not a question you need to ask but your stomach is in knots at the mention of the Boston QZ and you can’t help yourself. 

“I’d rather you didn’t.” Something flashes across her face, she isn’t trying to be rude, she simply doesn’t want to talk about it. 

“That’s fine.” You don’t need to worry about it. She doesn’t know him. There’s no reason for her to know him. QZ’s house hundreds, if not thousands, of people. There’s no reason to spiral over nothing. “Do you have any allergies that you’re aware of?”

“Nope.” She makes a popping sound on the “P” as she leans back in the chair, trying to look relaxed despite how on edge she still is. You decide not to put anymore pressure on her, it won’t do you any good. 

“How are you feeling physically? Any symptoms of illness?”

“Like infection?” You have to stifle a laugh, if she was infected the two of you certainly wouldn’t be sitting here right now. 

“I’m not worried about that, I mean something more like a runny nose or a cough.”

“Oh. No.” 

“Any skills in particular you’d like to learn? Our school system is a little less traditional than what you probably had with FEDRA.”

“I like science.” She sits up a bit, good, you’ve found something that piques her interest. 

“Then I will make sure you’re enrolled in some science classes. But I meant skills like agriculture, construction, or veterinary care. Something you could learn about that interests you. You won’t be asked to help out around town until you’re sixteen but we like to let you explore different things to see what you like-”

“Could I learn how to shoot a gun?” She leans forward before you can finish your thought. 

“You could apprentice some of the hunters, we could also have you trained for patrol and scavenging which involves gun safety and training courses. You’re a bit young for those but I’m sure I could ”

“Really?” You can tell by the inflection in her voice that she still doesn’t trust you entirely, even if she’s excited.

“Of course, you’ll probably be the youngest student in the training class but I’m sure you can handle it.” She needs something good in her life. You want to protect everyone who finds their way to Jackson but this girl makes your heart ache. Most adults you’ve worked with aren’t able to hold themselves together this long, putting on a brave face despite everything. 

“Do you like burgers?” You almost cringe as you say it, hoping she’s had food outside of the synthetic shit FEDRA produces.

“I guess?”

“I’m having a little cookout tomorrow evening once everyone’s finished their work, it’ll be small, just me and some family but you’re welcome to join. You can bring your friend, I have two little ones you can play with. They might be a little younger than your usual friends but I promise they’re great company.” You swear she almost smiles, and suddenly you just want to make this poor kid smile. “You know, I’ve got a telescope in my garage, so if you stop by it’s all yours.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely, I’ve never even touched the thing so maybe you can put it to good use. Let me write down the house description for you, it isn’t too far from this building, you can stop in whenever you want tomorrow. There’s an empty house across the street as well, maybe I could show it to you, see if you like it.” You pencil it down, tearing the paper and handing it to her. This isn’t something you’d typically do but you can’t resist an opportunity to help her feel more at home here. 

“Yeah, I mean that would be great.”

“Perfect.” You lean back in your chair. “What sort of hobbies interest you?” You’ll be in charge of putting together a welcome basket for her since Maria has marked her down as a permanent occupant.

“Reading, I like comics. And I used to draw a lot in the QZ.” Perfect, books are easy to find since Jackson was built around a small library.

“Okay then, I think that’s all I need from you for now but I’ll be around soon once you get housing settled. You can go join Maria and your friend if you’d like, I have to figure out what house we’re going to put you two in but I’ll be stopping by later with a few things for you.” That actually isn’t all you need from her, there are more questions on your mind, one specific question. Ask her what his name is. 

“Thanks.” She stands, quickly heading towards the exit as you grab your notebook, you need to make a list of everything they’ll be needing. 

You shouldn’t. If by some stroke of misfortune you’re right this question will only serve to destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to push away. You shouldn’t.

But you do. 

Before she’s out the door you call out her name, you don’t want to know, but you have to.

“Ellie, what’s your friend's name?”

You found the treehouse two months after you found Jackson. 

With tears streaming down your face you had dropped the twins off at Maria’s, mumbling apologies before going to the edge of town, a large amount of Jackson was empty, and still is. They’re planning for the future. Someday, generations from now, the town will grow and they’ll use these houses to accommodate families. But for now it’s just an empty town, one that you realized had a treehouse. You had hidden yourself away there, curling up into a ball to become as small as possible.

Tommy had found you hours later, shivering, with no more tears left to cry. And he hadn’t chastised you or asked you why you’d done it, he’d just taken your hand and walked you home. It doesn’t take him hours this time, only about thirty minutes according to your watch. You hear the crunch of his boots, the walking pattern you recognize as his, and the creak of the boards as he pushes the hatch open before sliding up into the small space with you. 

Before he speaks you’re already reaching for him, desperate to cling to some kind of familiar safety. 

“Hey darlin’.” It’s a dance you two do, fluid and instinctual as he pulls you into his arms, you slot yourself between his bent legs as he wraps himself around you. You used to sit like this when you couldn’t find shelter on snowy nights, one of the many habits you had trouble breaking when you found Jackson. Maria would never ask you to change your relationship with him, it was a decision you had made with Tommy when he told you he wanted to marry her. A part of you just sort of knew she didn’t like it, so you stopped. And you’d never hold that against her, if the roles were reversed you certainly wouldn’t be as kind as she’s been. That’s why you’ve always loved Maria, since the first day you met her she has been like a sister, patient but blunt with you. 

Except in this one instance. 

She withheld some particularly important information.

“The twins?” You lay back against him as you mumble.

“Maria’s watching them. They’re helping her make dinner, you shoulda’ seen them in the kitchen. I swear she’s the only person they listen…” His voice trails off when he feels you tensing up all over again as you go back to fighting off tears.

A silence falls between you, familiar and reminiscent of your first few days together out in the woods. And just like back then, you’re the one to break it. 

“Have you seen him yet?” The words feel small and hoarse in your throat.

“No. Couldn’t bring myself to.” He rests his chin on your shoulder, you wish you could find comfort in any of this but there’s just too much dread. Too much unease fills your stomach to relax. 

“Does he know you’re here?” You wish your voice didn’t tremble so much.

“Maria didn’t tell him.” 

“Are we sure it’s even him?” 

“Not a lot of Joel Millers walking around during the apocalypse.” It’s like he can sense your skepticism as he quickly continues. “She said he looked like a Miller.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Like me but grayer.” Fair enough.

“Does he know I’m here?” There’s no way. He couldn’t. 

“No.” 

“Good.” 

“Can’t stay that way forever.” You know that. But you don’t have anything to say about it so you move on, and redirect the anger that mixes with your confusion and fear.

“Why didn’t she tell us?” He can’t take your side in this, as much as you want him to, he has to take her side because her’s is the rational one. Do you have a side? Can you be mad at her for this? Are there even sides?

“Probably because she knew we’d react like this.” His head tilts a bit to rest against your own. You’re thankful for this position so you don’t have to look him in the eye.

“She should have told us.” You’re trying to remain calm but your voice is pitching up higher by the minute. 

“She was going to, she just didn’t know how. She thought she had more time” 

You need to relax. It feels like your heart is going to burst from your chest and you’re certain Tommy feels it too. 

“How did he find us?” He wouldn’t have been looking for you specifically, unless he had a death wish. 

“On accident, I think. Maria said he was looking for me when they found him.” That makes sense. It’s just a coincidence that you’re also here. He has no way of knowing that you even know Tommy. How he managed to locate him is another matter. 

“We’re two thousand miles away from the QZ, how the fuck did he find you?”

“He always gets what he wants.” 

You can’t argue with that. Plain and simple, you don’t need much more than that. 

“I don’t want to see him.” An impossible request, but you make it anyway. 

“We both know that isn’t possible.” 

“Tell her to send him away.” Also unlikely. 

“You know she can’t do that, we don’t turn folks away from Jackson.” 

“Then I’ll leave.”

“Like hell you will.” There is no fight in his voice, just certainty as he holds you a little tighter. Not without me. The silent promise that lingers under his words, but it’s more complicated than that now, you have two toddlers and he has a wife, there is no running away from this. No running away from him

He’s inevitable. 

It doesn’t matter if the world ends, and you run halfway across the country, Joel Miller is inevitable.

“He’s got a kid.” You mumble as you reach for his hand, entwining your fingers with his. You hadn’t realized how cold you were until you felt the warmth of his skin against yours. 

He scoffs. “He’s got two.”

“Another kid, some girl. He brought her here all the way from Boston.”

He shifts a bit, clearly confused. “Why?”

“I was hoping you’d know, it isn’t exactly in his nature to help the needy.” 

He pauses for a moment. “Well, I mean, how old is she?”

“Fourteen.” 

“Well there’s your reason, Sarah was fourteen.”

Sarah.

A girl you know very little about other than the fact that she’s your daughter's namesake. Sarah Ruth Miller. It had been Tommy’s idea, you had only picked out a name for a boy and you owed Tommy everything for keeping you alive that long, so when he asked if he could pick his niece's middle name you’d been more than happy to oblige. 

It hadn’t been Joel who told you about Sarah, he never even told you he had a kid. 

Tommy had told you about it just before the twins were born. You’d been snowed into a cabin and he’d just returned from hunting with a grin on his face as he told you he had a surprise. You couldn’t sleep, between the cold and the pain in your lower back you were just too uncomfortable most nights. Tommy always insisted on staying up to keep you company even if he ended up falling asleep most of the time. 

That night he told you about how he lost his niece on outbreak day as he skinned the fox he’d caught in one of his traps as you sat beside him in front of the crumbling fireplace. When he finished the story he held up the pelt and told you he was going to make your babies first blanket with it. 

Of course at the time neither of you knew that he would have to make a second blanket, or that he would need to do it a month sooner than either of you had planned. 

“I invited him to dinner tomorrow.” No sense in hiding the fact from him, he’ll find out either way. 

“What?” His hand tightens around yours and it’s your turn to comfort him as your thumb rubs circles against the tense skin.

“Ellie- the kid, I invited her before I knew about Joel. Even told her she could bring him.” You almost laugh at how ridiculous it all sounds now. Of course you invited him to dinner completely by accident, sounds like something you would do. 

“Then why don’t we just get it over with?” Or you could leave, brave the Wyoming wilderness with your kids and his wife and make a run for it, far, far, away from Joel Miller. 

But you can’t do that. 

So you might as well get it over with. 

“Together?” You bring his hand up to your face to warm the icy skin of your cheek.

“Together.” 

He means it. He stays with you until the next day, walking you back into town and bringing you to his house. Maria starts apologizing the second the two of you walk through the door but you just hug her. She doesn’t owe you anything, any anger you thought you felt towards her was misplaced. 

And you all settle in for the night. 

On particularly bad nights you’ll spend the night at their house. It’s been happening less and less these last few months but it’s an unspoken decision tonight as Maria brings down sleeping bags from the attic for the kids. 

You tuck the kids in by the fireplace, hoping that they don’t catch the vacant look in your eyes as you kiss their foreheads. Thankfully they both seem to be too excited about having a living room campout to notice. You hear hushed whispers from the kitchen, it sounds like an argument so you just sit on the couch, wrapping a blanket around yourself as you stare out the window facing the street. 

What house did she put them in? There are a few options for temporary housing, but he could be anywhere. The thought makes you nauseous. Thankfully you’re distracted when you eventually hear Maria stomping up the stairs followed by a sigh from the kitchen before Tommy joins you on the couch. 

“Everything all right?” You mumble, hoping to not wake the kids as you offer up some of the blanket to him. 

“It will be.”

God you hope so.

“How do you wanna do this?” 

Good question. 

Preferably you wouldn’t be doing this at all, instead you would be enjoying what might be the last nice day before autumn sets in entirely. You, Arthur, Ruth, Tommy, and Maria. You’d still be happy if Ellie came over by herself but that’s so unlikely you don’t even consider it an option. Joel’s too protective and you confirmed with Maria that Ellie would be coming. He won’t let her go alone, you know that better than anyone. 

You rub the back of your neck with your freehand. “The kids stay inside with Maria.” Ruth is already there, helping her aunt with the salad as Arthur sits in your lap, playing with a few stones he’s set up on the picnic table. 

“Okay.” Tommy’s biting his nails, you’d spent weeks reprimanding him about that until he broke the habit.  

Your knee starts bouncing, a nervous habit of your own that you’ve had for as long you can remember. Thankfully Arthur simply hums to himself as you bounce him. As far as you can tell neither one of the twins knows something is wrong, you can only hope it stays that way. 

“We can wait for them out here, I can ask Ellie to go in and help Maria with the kids.”

“And then?”

You frown in contemplation. “I haven’t planned that far ahead.”

“So you didn’t plan for the most important part?”

“Did you?” 

His teeth shift when you ask, biting down hard enough to split his nail lower than he intended. You watch as blood blooms there while he curses under his breath.   

“Shit, go inside and grab a bandage, they’re in the cabinet above the sink.” He stands as you wave him towards the house, he brings his thumb to his mouth, his brow furrowed. “And bring Maria and Ruth out with you when you come back so we can go over everything with her.” He nods, humming in response before he disappears behind the screen door.

“Is Uncle Tommy okay?” When you look down you’re met with a worried look plastered on your son's face. You instinctively cup his face with your hand, using your thumb to smooth out the wrinkle between his brows. He looks too much like his father when he does that. 

“He’s okay, love. He’s just gotta go get your Aunt and Ruth.” You lean down, kissing his forehead before turning to set him down next to you. 

“Okay, Mama.” He seems satisfied with your response as he gives your leg a little pat before running off towards the edge of the yard. You’ve got a patch of rocks and gravel the kids like to dig through. You turn to watch him, with your back now leaning against the picnic table as he crouches down, examining the ground before finding a suitable stone. Clutching it in his hand he rushes back to you, holding it up for your approval.

“Very pretty, thank you.” You take it from him with a smile, setting it behind you on the table with the rest of them. He repeats the process several times, staring down at the ground, scrutinizing each rock before bringing the ones he deems good enough over to you. You give appropriate oo’s and ah’s to each one, grateful for the brief peace your son is able to give you. He carries on with this for sometime, until you have a sizable pile of rocks beside you. 

He leaves, and he returns, dozens of times until he decides not to return to the patch of gravel. 

You thank him for the speckled stone he hands you now but instead of running back across the yard he squints, staring up at your expression. 

“What’s wrong?” He hops up onto the bench next to you, grabbing the sleeve of your shirt and bunching it up in his little fist as you give him a soft smile.

“Nothing’s wrong, hon.” You ruffle his hair a bit but he doesn’t seem convinced. 

“Why’d you make a mad face then? Uncle Tommy too.” 

So much for the kids being clueless, they’ve always been too smart for their own good. 

Shit.

You sigh, looking up at the clouds briefly before looking back down at him.

No sense in lying to him. “You know how Uncle Tommy has a brother?” You wrap an arm around him, pulling him close.

His face scrunches up a bit as he thinks. “Yeah…” He doesn’t sound entirely convinced as you give him a reassuring smile. 

“Well, we don’t really- we don’t always get along with Uncle Tommy’s brother, and he’s gonna be visiting us soon.” 

“Why?” 

“He’s in Jackson for a little bit, and he came a long way to get here-”

“No Mama, why don’t you like him?”

This is a conversation you had hoped to have with your children when they’re older. Preferably it would be one you wouldn’t have to have at all, but it’s just another unavoidable part of Joel. They’re already old enough to ask questions, it started when kids in their class began asking if Tommy was their dad. Which of course led to the twins asking you one night just before bed the same question. 

“No love, he’s your uncle, who told you that?” You don’t want that rumor going around, people already talk about it, it doesn’t help that they both bear a resemblance to him.

“No one, Annie asked us.” Your daughter answers as you brush some of her hair behind her ear.  You recognize the name, it’s a girl in their daycare class. 

“And what did you tell her?”

“That we just got a mom.” Ruth answers but Arthur picks up the second she’s finished speaking. 

“Do we have a dad?” He tilts his head to the side as you swallow loudly. 

“Yes, you do.”

“Where?” Ruth asks. 

Last you’d heard he was in Boston. 

“I’m not sure.” They turn and look at each other before turning in unison towards you, you should have known they wouldn’t take that answer. “We lived together for a little while, in New York, and then we got separated.” None of that means anything to either of them but it’s an answer, which is better than nothing.

Arthurs tiny hand squeezes yours, pulling you back into reality. You often wonder if they know when you’re lost in a memory, he looks up at you curiously. What did you do to deserve such a patient child? 

You take a moment to think of a way to phrase it. “We… got into a fight. A long time ago.”

“About what?”

“Grown up stuff.” Your heartbeat quickens, you don’t want him to know about all that, he’s too little, you need to end this conversation.

“What kin-“ When he starts another line of questioning you poke at his sides, sliding him off the bench in a fit of giggles. 

“Time to go inside, nosy little man.” You follow after him as he rushes away, brown hair that’s just starting to curl at the ends falling into his eyes as he runs away from the house.

You catch up to him within a few steps, scooping him up and cradling him like a baby. He lets out a high pitched shriek until you squish your face into his cheek, kissing the rosy skin until he quiets down to a few small giggles. 

“Your aunt needs some help in the kitchen, you’re gonna go play with her and your sister now.” He nods as he squirms in your arms until he’s more comfortable, wrapping his arms around your neck and resting his chin on your shoulder as you walk him back towards the house. 

He’s gonna need a nap soon, which means Ruth is gonna need a nap soon. Maybe you should try and get them both down before everything else happens. 

Right on cue, Tommy pushes open the door with Ruth on his hip, Maria not far behind him. Based on the smiles they’re both sporting you can assume they’ve made up. They always do. 

“I think it might be time for these two to head inside.” Tommy gives you a soft smile and for a single second you get to pretend that everything’s fine. Maria takes a lighter towards the grill, trying to light it as you go to stand next to Tommy, the twins both grinning at each other. 

In your own little bubble, everything is completely fine, and you’re with your family. 

And at the end of your single perfect second the bubble is popped. It all happens before you’re ready, although you doubt you could ever really be ready for this. 

Maria pockets her lighter, mumbling something about going inside to look for matches after a few unsuccessful attempts. You set Arthur down, nudging him in her direction, he quickly runs towards her, taking her hand as she begins to make her way back towards the house. Tommy wraps his free hand around your shoulder. Giving you a reassuring squeeze as you rest your head against him to stare at your little girl. 

“We’ve got this.” He gives you another squeeze but you’re struggling to find safety in it. He’s always been the strong one, the confrontational one. He’s got this. You don’t. You tilt your head to stare at him when Ruth’s gaze goes from your face to his but your head snaps to the side when you hear your name called. 

Everyone looks up. The twins, Maria, Tommy, and you, as Ellie walks around the side of the house and waves at you. The sound of your name makes the man walking behind her look as well, his all too familiar scowl scanning the yard, softening into a look of disbelief when his eyes settle on you.

Then - NEW YORK CITY, QUARANTINE ZONE : 2019

“I don’t like havin’ you out there on your own. I worry too much.” He mumbles the words against the back of your neck as he tightens his hold around your waist. At some point the two of you had stopped pretending you’d wake up any other way and just went to bed like this. “Stay here, angel.” 

You’re so comfortable you almost consider it, but you ran out of cards last week and you’re cleared for work as of today. “I have to go if I want to sign up for any of the well paying shifts, Joel.” You peel his arms off of you, sitting up as he matches your movements. 

“Don’t sign up for that shit, it’s always somethin’ stupid or dangerous.” His voice is low and thick with sleep as he wraps his arms back around you. “If you need somethin’ I’ll get it for you.” He hasn’t shaved in a few weeks, his coarse facial hair rubs against your shoulder as he murmurs. 

Who knew big, scary Joel Miller could be so clingy. 

The most surprising part of your relationship, if you could even call it that, with Joel is just how needy he is. You don’t have any problems with it, it’s just a bit of a shock. Although maybe needy isn’t the right word. 

Protective. 

You’ve left the apartment two times in total since moving in with Joel, both times you insisted on needing air much to his dismay. He accompanied you around the block without a word the first time. The second time was the same, the only difference was that you stopped to buy a small bag of buttons, Joel had frowned as you made small talk with the older man sitting behind the table before rushing you home. 

“You could have just told me you needed buttons.” He grumbles as he holds the door open for you as you make your way to the kitchen table, taking a seat as you take his flannel off of you, the sight of your tattered sports bra serves as a reminder of how badly you need to get back to work once you’re cleared. 

“I don’t need buttons, you do. Every shirt you own is missing at least one.” You laid the shirt down on the table, pointing to the drawer next to the sink. “Get me the sewing kit.” His frown deepens but he does as you say before sitting down across from you.

Reaching across the table he sets the box down beside you, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Still, you should have just asked me.” 

You open the small tin, unspooling a bit of thread. “I needed to go outside for a few minutes, it’s stuffy in here.” 

“We could have opened a window.” He grumbles under his breath as you grin, holding the thread between your teeth while sliding the other end through the needle.

“It’s not the same and you know it.” You mumble through your teeth before releasing the thread and setting the needle down. You pour the buttons out onto the table, searching for one that best matches the beige of the buttons on the flannel. Eventually his hand encompasses your own as he guides you to one that’s a slightly different shape but matches the color perfectly. “Thank you.” You give him a teasing smile as you place it over the frayed threads where its predecessor once was. 

That was a week ago and you haven’t been outside since but when Joel went to get the mail from downstairs he brought you a notice from the doctor that you were cleared to return to work today. Despite his protests you start to push the blanket off of you but he’s quick to pull it right back up into place.

“Stay, please.” He continues to hum against your skin. 

“I need the money, Joel.” You turn to look at him, his usual morning sulky look seems doubled today.

“How much do you need?” He raises an eyebrow at you as he lets his face fall forward, his forehead resting on yours. 

“It’s not like that.” You swear, if you asked him to, he'd find a way to give you the moon and stars, but you hate relying on him for everything, especially after such a long time of being dependent on him. “I just need to work.”

“You don’t need to. You want to.” His breath still smells like whiskey from last night as he gives you an exasperated glare. 

“Fine, I want to work. My leg’s fine now, you can barely tell anything was wrong with it. I’ll be okay.” You lean just a bit more towards him, kissing his cheek before sliding out of bed. 

You aren’t exactly dating Joel. 

Dating seems so trivial during an apocalypse, and you haven’t had any conversations about it. It just sort of happened. You woke up one day and neither one of you wanted to pull away from the other, and it progressed from there. He came home from a job one night and climbed into bed next to you, wrapping himself around you and he kissed your forehead before falling asleep. You still don’t know if he knew you were awake. The next night you’d taken his face in your hands and kissed him, just to see what he’d do, thankfully after a moment of shock he’d kissed you back. And it just became another unspoken part of your life with Joel. He kissed you goodbye when he left to go do the things he refused to tell you about in any detail, and you always greeted him with a kiss when he returned. 

But you don’t have sex. 

You want to ask him why but you hold your tongue, it’s possible you’re just being impatient or maybe he just wants to wait. So you don’t push it or bring it up because you like how things are with him. 

The word boyfriend is not a word that suits Joel. 

He isn’t your boyfriend, he’s just sort of, yours. 

“Angel, please.” He continues his griping as he pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“Joel, please.” You repeat back at him, trying to mimic his low tone.  

“I’m bein’ serious. Things have gotten bad out there recently, too much FEDRA bullshit.” 

“It’s always been bad and I’ve always managed, I’ll be fine.” You pull one of his shirts out of the closet, slipping it on, starting to button it as he makes his way to the end of the bed. 

“Can we at least talk about this?” He rests his elbows on his knees as he hunches over. The morning haze on his face is gone and is replaced by the stern scowl you’re used to. 

“There isn’t anything to talk about. I’ll be careful, there’s nothing to worry about, I’ll see you tonight.” After digging through the dresser drawers you eventually find your only pair of jeans. Once your boots are laced you walk back over to him, standing between his legs and taking his face in your hands. 

Staring down into his surprisingly gentle eyes, so dark that in the dim morning light they look pitch black. 

God he’s pretty. 

Even with that stupid pout of his. 

“I’ll see you tonight.” You lean down, placing a kiss on his forehead before pulling away only to be stopped when his grip on your waist tightens. 

“Just- wait.” You’re about to push him away with a laugh but his voice cracks just enough to make your smile drop. 

You start to speak in a soft tone but you only get one word out. “Joel…” 

“Please- I just- I can’t let you go out there and sign up for that shit. There’s jobs that aren’t dangerous, simple stuff.”

“Those jobs pay a few cards at best, hon. I can’t wear your clothes forever, I need new underwear, socks, all sorts of things. And I want to contribute around here, I’ll be okay, I promise.” You push the mess of hair falling across his forehead back as you stare down at him. 

He looks so genuinely upset already and you haven’t even left yet, he’s making this far more difficult than you thought it’d be. “I won’t be able to do anything if I don’t know you’re safe. It’s dangerous for both of us, I can’t be distracted like that.” You sigh, long and loud as you drop your hands to your sides. 

The more you think about it the more it makes sense. He really does worry too much, and even if you don’t know exactly what he does for work, you know it’s dangerous. 

Maybe it won’t be so bad. 

“Okay.” You groan. 

“You’ll stay?” The corners of his mouth start to raise a bit. 

“I’ll do the safer jobs.” The hint of a smile that had been on his face dissipates. “It’s a compromise. You can’t always get everything you want.” 

“Fine, come right home after.”

“I will.” With one more kiss he finally lets you go. 

So, at Joel’s request, you sign up for the easy jobs. 

They’re boring, and generally sort of terrible, and they pay the least, but Joel doesn’t make any further arguments about it. So you keep signing up for them. Typically it’s childcare, or filing documents for FEDRA, or working in the entry level food processing jobs. 

Boring, boring, jobs that involve standing around and doing nothing or wrangling kids who don’t deserve to grow up in a place like this. You hate the look on their little faces, they always look too grown up for their ages. 

But you put up with it, because at the end of the day you get to go home to Joel, Joel who seems to be in significantly higher spirits ever since you’ve agreed to those specific jobs. So you make it work. He makes it worth the banality of it all, at the end of your first week back to work he surprised you with a large paper bag, grinning like you’d never seen him before. When you unfolded the crumpled bag you were greeted with a mess of fabric, different colors and textures. You poured the contents onto the bed and immediately realized what he’d gotten you. Bras, panties, socks, and two pairs of jeans. It must’ve cost him a fortune and your eyes began to water immediately. You had wrapped your arms around him, barely letting go of him for the rest of the night. 

After that it got even easier, eventually you got used to it. 

You learned to live with the terrible jobs, and if you wanted anything you couldn’t afford with your meager savings Joel always managed to get it for you, even if you hadn’t told him you’d wanted it in the first place. 

You probably would have stayed like that forever if you hadn’t started taking the long way home. Weeks had passed before it happened, you had grown comfortable, vulnerable. Joel always made sure you felt safe and you let your guard down just long enough for something to happen. 

Joel had left early that morning, telling you that he was gonna be late, before he kissed you, he was out the door before the sun came up. 

Whenever Joel told you he would be late you took the long way home. Winding back alleys that were mostly empty that always led back to the apartment building. It was just a treat for yourself, something to do to fill time that would be spent at home, waiting for him. 

You never had any issues or alterations. 

Until that afternoon. 

Joel will be late. 

So the second your shift is over you take the handful of cards and make your way through the city. And just like you’ve done every other time, you look behind you every once and a while but not nearly as much as you should. Because of this, you don’t see him until it’s too late. 

It’s a younger man, probably a year or two older than you at most peering around the last corner you turned. Once he knows he’s been seen his pace quickens and instinctively you do the same. 

“On the ground!” The second you hear it you pray it’s for someone else, it has to be, you’ve done nothing wrong. You walk faster, hoping to avoid what could be a messy confrontation when the sound of boots slamming on the pavement rushes towards you and you’re forced up against the wall of the alley. 

In your peripheral you catch the white text against the black of his uniform. 

FEDRA. 

Your knees are kicked from under you as he pins your arms behind your back, the force at which your head hits the stone has you dizzy as you try to catch your breath. Too much is happening too quickly, when you finally feel like you can use your voice the wind is knocked out of you as you feel him hit you in the side, hard enough to have you wondering if he broke a rib. The force of the hit makes your knees crumble completely as the officer lets you fall, only giving you enough time to get to your hands and knees before his boot slams into your stomach knocking you onto your side. 

Finally, when you roll over onto your back you get a clear look at him. He looks like your average FEDRA officer, the only thing out of place is the unsure look on his face. Your ears are ringing so you barely make out what he says, all you catch is something about thinking you were someone else, before he turns and leaves as if it never happened.

Leaving you alone to clutch your stomach and wonder what just happened, and what you did to deserve that. 

You’d never heard of random attacks from FEDRA before. Maybe in other zones, but the city has always been calm as far as that goes. Maybe things really did get worse while your leg was healing. 

Joel was right. 

That’s all you can think about as you stumble to get to your feet, everything hurts but now is not the time to assess your wounds, you need to get home before something else happens. You manage to hobble up the stairs of the building, nearly collapsing by the time you opened the door. 

You feel so stupid. 

Joel was right. 

It isn’t safe out there, at least not for you. No one fucks with Joel, no one attacks him on the street because they’re afraid of him. No ones afraid of you. 

It’s a long couple of hours after that. 

Mostly a lot of berating yourself as you try to take in the extent of the damage. 

Surprisingly it seems to mostly be surface level. Sure, you’re going to bruise pretty bad and your face got scraped up on the stones but nothing permanent seems to have been inflicted. 

Once you’ve showered and slipped into an old shirt of his and a pair of panties you climb into bed, wanting this day to just be over, but you know it isn’t. Right on schedule you hear the lock click as Joel steps through the front door, you hide your face in your pillow. 

“What are you still doin’ up? It’s almost midnight.” His voice is a low whisper as you hear the familiar sounds of him kicking off his boots and setting down his things. You hear the outer layer of his clothing hit the floor, you told him a while ago you thought it was gross that he slept in the clothes he wore all day. He started sleeping in his undershirt and boxers after that. “You okay, Darlin’?” The bed shifts as he sits beside you and the second you turn and look at him his jaw twitches. “Christ… what the hell happened? Who did this to you?” He’s managing to stay mostly calm but you’re already worried he’s going to blow. 

“It’s nothing, I just had an issue with an officer on my way-“

“This is not nothing.” He’s already fussing with your face as you take his hands and move them away from you. 

“Joel-“

“Tell me what happened.” It’s a command and you’re too tired to fabricate something, and for the first time in a while, you’re afraid. 

So you tell him exactly how it happened. And before you realize it’s happening you’re sniffling, a part of you feels like you’re about to be scolded for this but he only nods, never interrupting you until you’ve finished. 

Your vision’s blurry with tears when you look up at him, the weight of being attacked starts to weigh heavy as you realize just how lucky you were that that was all that happened. And then you say the words he’s been waiting to hear.

“You were right, Joel.” 

“I’m sorry, angel. I should have been there to protect you.” He holds his arms open and you don’t hesitate as you lean forward into him. You do your best to hold it together as he lays you down before clicking off the lamp and pulling you back against him. He softly scratches your back, kissing the top of your head as he does. It’s silent for a few more minutes until he suddenly whispers into the darkness. “Tell me you’ll stay here from now on.”

“Joel, I-“

“No more going out there without me. You’ll stay safe right here, no one can hurt you here, not while I’m around.” You open your mouth to argue again but stop yourself. 

He’s right. 

Now that you’ve calmed down you know that you’re lucky to even be alive. You don’t know why you were attacked but you know it could happen again, and there are worse things than being beaten. 

No one would hurt you here, not with Joel around. 

“Stay here, angel.” He murmurs, softer this time. 

Joel is right.

“Okay.”

He isn’t beside you when you wake up, your hands searching through the cold sheets seeking his warmth. He had mentioned something as you were falling asleep about an early morning supply run but you had hoped to say goodbye before he left, you wanted to make him breakfast. As you get ready to roll back over and sleep a bit more you’re startled into an upright position. 

“You should watch where you’re flying, angel.” You bite back a shriek as Tess’s voice comes from the direction of the kitchen. 

“Christ, you scared the hell out of me!” Your heart skips a beat as you reach over to the nightstand, pulling on the little chain that turns the lamp on. “Joel’s not even here, what are you doing?” You don’t like the idea of being alone with her, she doesn’t come around much anymore, you used to see her in the hall on her way here constantly, but after you moved in she stopped. 

You do your best not to flinch as she makes her way over to you, standing at the foot of the bed.

“I’m not here to hurt you, there’s no need for theatrics.” You hadn’t realized you were shaking so badly until she said it, it takes a conscious effort but you manage to stop it for the most part. “I’m just here to talk.”

“About what?” 

“About you and Joel.”

You don’t want to talk about that with Tess. You don’t want to talk to Tess at all, she frightens you and she knows it. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.” This time when you flinch she hesitates. For a brief moment the facade of a woman who fears nothing drops, and you swear you see sympathy in her eyes. “Joel is dangerous, you need to be careful with him or you’re going to get hurt.”

Is that why she’s here? To try and break you up? 

“He won’t hurt me, he cares about me.” You wish you sounded more sure of yourself. 

“You’re right, at least for now.” She flips her pocket knife open, ever so carefully running the blade along the underside of her nails, scraping away any dirt or grime she so happens to find, you fight the urge to flinch again. When she finally looks back up at you she takes a moment, examining your expression as if this was an interrogation. “Being loved by him is the worst thing that could possibly happen to a girl like you.”

You can’t help but scoff, now look who’s being theatrical. “A girl like me?”

“Good, too good. And fragile.” She points at you with the blade before returning to her nails. “He’ll do anything to keep you safe, even if it means breaking you into tiny little pieces, just so you’ll fit in a box he can lock.” 

You’re about to call her a liar but you hesitate. “Why are you telling me this?”

“You deserve to know.”

“Okay, but why? You don’t even like me.”

“You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like you.” 

Fair enough.

“I think you should go.” You don’t want to hear anything else. You don’t believe anything she’s saying and the entire conversation makes you feel sick. She doesn’t know anything about your relationship with him, and she clearly doesn’t know anything about Joel. He’d do anything for you, you don’t think you’ve ever been taken care of before you met him.  

“What do you know about glue traps?” She doesn’t make any effort to leave so you decide to just answer her with a sigh. 

“Like the ones you use to catch mice? I don’t know, Joel buys them sometimes.”

She points her knife in the direction of the corner of the room, it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. Sure enough, in the corner of the room, peeking out from under his dresser, is the faint outline of something on the floor, you’d never noticed it before. 

“It’s the worst kind of way to catch a mouse.” She stands, walking across the room and peeling up the trap with the edge of her blade before snapping it shut and taking the edge of the trap between her fingers, dragging it across the floor to the middle of the room so you had a clear view of it. “They’ll do anything to get out.” The tip of her boot nudges the corner of the trap, now that it’s been dragged into the lamp light you can see exactly what she wanted to show you. Two things are in the bloody trap. A mouse, barely alive, based on the way its chest rises and falls, and something else. A caterpillar maybe? 

No. 

A leg. A bloody mouse leg, on the edge of the trap. 

“They’ll chew off their limbs, and peel off their own skin just to get out, the ones that manage to are lucky enough to bleed out somewhere else. The ones stuck in the trap though?” She nods down at the creature you now refuse to look at. “They’ve got it the worst. Suffocation, dehydration, the ones who try to peel off and can’t, bleed out, stuck in place.”   

With a sudden crunch, her boot slams down on the trap. You watch, slack jawed, as she peels it off the sole before tossing it in the bin in the corner. 

“I’d take a quick death over either of those.”

“I think you should leave. Now.” You try to sound authoritative but your voice trembles too much to sound anything but afraid. 

“I heard you got caught up in some FEDRA business yesterday.” She starts again but you’ve had enough.

“Tess.” You manage to have a bit of sterness this time in your tone but it doesn’t seem to affect her much. 

“Fine. I’ll leave. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” You catch that sympathetic look one more time before she unlocks the door chain, twisting the doorknob before speaking one last time. “I noticed some of our inventory is missing, this is the only warning you’re gonna get about that. If you want shit like that just ask, I’m sure Joel would be more than happy to have another way to control you.” She doesn’t turn around when she says it, simply slamming the door and leaving. You have no clue what she’s talking about, but that isn’t the part of the conversation that sticks with you. All you can think about is that crunching sound. 

So you avoided her after that, writing off her words as an act of jealousy. 

Joel would never do anything to hurt you.

Of course you know better now. She was just like you, she had been in the glue trap herself when she tried to keep you from joining her, but you hadn’t listened, instead you’d fallen face first into Joel. And he wouldn't let you go without keeping some of you for himself.

i don't have a taglist anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates on all fics !!

[mayullla]

Title: La Signora's little follower(?)

Character(s): All the harbingers except Scaramouche (Genshin Impact) Pierro, Columbina, Pulcinella, Pantalone, Tartaglia (Childe), Dottore, Capitano, Sandrone, Arlecchino

Summary: The harbingers stand before the Fair Lady, La Signora casket. They didn't think a small visitor would arrive, adored by the woman who turned to ashes.

Note: This might/will become ooc later in the future or the very next day I post this but who knows and who cares! Writing this all I have is the vid "A Winter Night's Lazzo", Childe's voice lines about them and leaks so please be understanding later if it does happen.

Warnings/tags: Gn!reader (if by chance she/her is used for reader tell me I will edit it as soon as possible!), child!reader, slight soft yandere vibes from Childe (or protective vibes either one), implied cult au, Genshin leaks

Another note for tags: Isekai (implied), God!reader but child, like sagau cult kind of thing but never really mentioned till later, an au in one of my series called 'the child with gold blood' (which you don't have to read to understand this.)

...It was a surprise really, who would expect that when the butterfly that belonged to La Signora would erupt into a huge flame covering most of the casket that many of the harbingers had to take a step back.

They were about to put it out... what was what they planned to till they noticed something or someone inside those flames. There was a slight panic in the voices of the harbingers, as they got their weapons ready, yet it was Capitano who told them to stop and wait, curious as to what the Fair Lady could have gifted them after her death.

Just as soon the flames came to the world it died down living nothing but ashes and body…?

It was a small body as if it belonged to a child. Still alive, when they saw the small movements it made, still breathing. Columbia was the first to comment on it, how adorable you but at the same time in wonder who you were.

"Why is a small child here?" Sandrone asked in surprise, as the robot moved her closer to the casket, towards you. "Did Signora bring this child here?" She continued to ask.

"Interesting there is not a single lick of flame scorched that child." Dottore also walked close to the casket, everybody could see the sick interest that danced in his eyes, the calculated planning.

Yet when Dottore tried to reach for the small child a flame erupted covering you away from the man's hand at the sudden heat he hissed in pain taking a step back away from you. Sandrone's robot also took a step back shielding the surprised girl from the screams of fire.

Only a few moments went by till Pantalone spoke teasing Dottore, stating that either it was Signora's huge distrust towards him or the perverted malice that the doctor had shown. Dottore could only glare at the other man, stating that he keep his mouth shut.

"But that still leaves the question, who is this child? There were no reports that La Signora had a child nor is she the type to adopt one." Arlecchino stated as she watched the flames die down once again when Dottore was far enough away from the child. There in her eyes was interest but there was also a hidden pity in them.

It was Capitano and Pierro who noticed the 11th harbinger quiet as he only stared at the child on the casket of the Lady not saying anything yet holding familiarity towards the sleeping body.

"Tartaglia do you have something to say?" Pierro asked, staring as the young man whose eyes widen in surprise for being called suddenly... as if caught in the act.

Tartaglia called away from his thoughts, looked at the Jester. His face looked conflicted as he walked over to the child.

"This kid followed Signora around. I meet them at Liyue after Signora got the Gnosis from the Geo archon." He tried to explain. "So La Signora really did adopt a child?" The husky voice belonged to Capitano.

Tartaglia shook his head. "No Signora found the kid to be more annoying than anything. She tried to shoo away this kid multiple times but the kid kept on coming back."

"I am surprised, you would think not many children would like the lady because of her rather strong... personality." Pantalone raised an eyebrow when he watched Childe cautiously take the kid into his arms. The little kid didn't have any thick clothes instead wore something more for spring.

The poor thing was shivering as the 11th harbinger wrapped his red scarf around their neck.

"I also thought she didn't like kids well till I received a letter from her a few days after her death," Tartaglia grumbled moving the child a bit so he could also cover the child's body with his coat. "One of her trusted subordinates gave me a letter asking me to take care of this kid in case she ever dies. I didn't think she would have ever written something like that because of her pride but she did."

"Hmmm, then why did the child appear here like this then? La signora died a few days ago, why isn't the kid with you?" Dottore was unamused, annoyed even as he looked at his slightly scorched gloves, burned by the fire when he reached for you.

"You aren't gonna say that you would take care of the child, are you? Give them to me and I will bring them to the orphanage." Arachhino said, raising her hand as if asking Childe to hand the kid to her.

"Sorry but no. I will be taking care of this kid." There was no humor in Tartaglia's voice, moving as if to shield the child from Arlecchino. He was never fond of her to be fair. "The kid disappeared soon after Signora's death both my subordinates and Signora's all tried to search for this kid along with some others but we weren't able to find them."

"Tartaglia, who are these others that you mentioned?" Pantalone asked, staring at the hump on Childe's jacket.

Suddenly the members all heard a groan, small and childish they knew that the child had woken up. Childe watched you try to shift your position yet unable to do so, you slowly opened your eyes. Staring at him yet showed no recognition.

"Hey, kid woke up?" Childe said his tone was almost soft. As he watches you shift again to an almost sitting position in his arms where your head poked out from the fur collar of his coat as you rubbed your eyes.

"Who are you?" You grumbled, you didn't see the other people in the room all watching you yet you could hear one or maybe two people giggling or chuckling at you as you squinted at Childe's face.

"Ah aren't you that mister!" You paused surprised, Childe raised a brow when he saw you stopped, as you struggle to remember him. "How cruel, child. You forgot about me." You laughed when he booped your nose with his gloved hand. "Isn't mister teammates with Signora?" You tilted your head.

"Yes… Something like that…" It wasn't Childe who said that, but another voice. Looking to your side you saw other people, all wearing a similar outfits to Childe. The man who said it wore a mask as he looked at you with a frown on his mouth.

"You shouldn't be so mean to the child." Another voice said but you didn't look to see who it was as you stared at the man who showed clear discomfort. 

"Mister must be Dottore?" You tilted your head, your face curious as you lean to get a closer look at him. "Hmmm, didn't know La Signora would talk about me." There was sarcasm, you didn't see the glare on Childe's face as he tighten his hold around you. You blinked as if not catching the sarcasm at all

"Signora told me that you are mean and bad. But mister looks nice."

"Eh-?" "Huh?" Disbelief but giggles also spread in the room at what you said, Dottore looked at you as if you have lost your mind but you meant what you said yet it was hidden behind his mask.

"They are such a cute child." Childe looked down surprised when he saw a small lady standing right beside him. You looked at the girl tilting your head as you saw her pretty black hair with pink streaks. "Hello dear~ do you perhaps know my name?" She asked curiously.

You looked at her mask, her outfit, the small pretty wings on her hair. Signora had told you about three ladies in her team, one of them she told you had almost a fairy-like appearance. "Columbina?" You looked at her closely. "You are so pretty!"

"You really are such a cutie." Columbina laughed. Quickly she pointed at two girls in the room. "Can you guess what their names are?"

You looked at the lady standing with one hand on her hips, white hair and eyes that had a red x on them. "Umm… Arlecchino..?" You looked hesitant, you looked at the lady who sat in the hand of the robot your eyes glittered at the thing but you quickly shook your head to focus. "Uhh… Signora told me about someone who makes those big robots! Uhh.. Sa-Sandrone?"

"You are a very smart child~" she giggled, she tried to take you into her arms when Childe took a step back keeping you away from her hands, protective and guarding.

"Hmmm interesting, I didn't think that La signora would grow attached to someone this much that she would tell you about us." You looked at a man, smiling at you with his hand on his chin thinking. "Greeting young one, my name is Pantalone. I guess that the Fair Lady has talked about me?"

Your eyes lighten a bit. "Un! She told me that you are the richest man in teyvat!" You flayed your hands as if to show how rich he was. Pantalone chuckled.

"How did you meet La Signora child?" You looked at a short man looking at you, his face soft towards you compared to others. "Mister Pulcinella?" you asked.

"Why yes. That is correct. Did Signora talk about me too?" There was a warm smile on his face, "Nope!" You sang as you looked at the man who was holding you "He was the one who told me about you!"

"H-hey" Childe looked flustered at what you have done all the while Pulcinella looked a little contemplated.

"You haven't answered his question."

A gruff voice asked, it would have made anybody intimidated yet maybe because you were so young that you were so influenced by it glancing at the man who spoke you asked Childe to place you down.

Hesitant, he did and let you go as you trotted to the man who spoke. The man had a mask on... helmet? even with the light, you could not see the man's face hidden in the darkness. "I meet Signora at in Monstade, Mister Captain sir! I was lost back then and could not find a way home and she found me." You told the man. "She saved me when I was running away from a hilichurl that was chasing after me. After that, I start to follow her hehe!"

"She let you in?" The man asked but you shook your head, looking down almost ashamed, "Signora didn't like me at first…" you explained, it was so cute when you looked at the red scarf around your neck in interest. "But later when we are in Liyue she took me in. She didn't tell me much but she started to take care of me a lot!" You looked at the masked man. "Signora showed me many things! Many pretty things! Things that I have never seen before!"

"But why didn't you go back home instead child?" He asked, you looked at him as the light in your eyes dull a little.

"That is because I was told I can't go back..."

It wasn't a straight answer, an answer that explained yet left so many questions for a child to say with a lonely smile on their face.

"Then child, are you not sad that La signora passed away." Another voice asked another deep and powerful voice that was quiet this whole time ever since you opened your eyes. Everyone looked at him, and you also looked at the old man who spoke. "Signora told me that there was a man in her team that wore a mask on one eye that is the leader of the team! You must be Mister Pierro!" 

"You are correct, child. Now tell me why are you not sad that she passed away? As you stand on her tomb right now." His words were harsh, commanding. It was as if he wanted to test you, see what your reaction would be.

Yet instead of tears, you looked at the man straight in his eyes your smile gone. You didn't see how close Childe was to grabbing you into his arms again yet could not. The 11th harbinger was stopped when Pierro glared at him, silencing him from making a dumb decision in front of him.

Instead, you stand in the middle of the group all staring down at you, waiting for your answer.

It was odd.. it was unnatural really for a child to do so. The smile that graced your small face, wasn't that naive and childish like but something softer yet knowing, kind and loving yet with grief.

It didn't match your age, not at all and it made everyone only cautious instead of feeling pity.

"La Signora isn't dead, she is only sleeping."

It was as if time stopped for a moment at your answer, nobody was sure what to say yet before someone could say something the big door that where once closed suddenly slammed open as one of the fatui, one of low-rank suddenly burst in.

"I apologize for interrupting the meeting! But this is an emergency!!" The fatui member almost shouted, his voice rattled and panicked. 

"It must be important that you would rudely barge in like this." There was annoyance in Pantalone's voice as he placed his hands together. His face was smiling yet everybody could see his anger.

"The archons- No the nations Monstade, Liyue and Inazuma are going on a rampage!!" 

What?

"And what do you mean by that?" Pulcina asked. 

"They are attacking all the fatui members that are stationed there demanding we give back what is theirs!" The fatui member stuttered out.

"What are they looking for exactly?" Pulcinella asked tiredly, it wasn't like they were after the gnosis. The Anemo Archon is too weak to cause this much of a reaction, the Electro archon didn't care for it, while the Geo Archon made a deal with them for the Gnosis. He wasn't one who would turn back on a contract.

"They are looking for a small child!"

The members all looked at you, standing in front of Pierro yet instead of you standing on the floor you were in Childe's arms holding you tightly almost like a mother protecting her child. 

Who… are you?

Edit/Update: Edited again after a year TvT Thank you so much for all the love that has been shown to this fic but I will not be making a part 2 or a continuation to this little story unfortunately. It has been a long time now and while I did try to think out some stuff nothing really clicked, and that motivation just kind of died too at some point. If you want more platonic yandere stuff I do have more stories for that which you can find on the masterlist just not this particular one. Thank you again for understanding ^^

[valsdelulucorner]

Leviathan head cannons<3

Leviathan is a shut in, its just a known fact but when he is alone, he likes to remain in his demon form. He finds it more comfortable and he likes to have his tail out to act as a extra hand. When someone knocks on the door, he goes back to his normal form because he is insecure that someone might make fun of him for being in his demon form, scared of judgement from his other brothers due to them remaining in their usual forms most of the time

When he is hanging out with you in either yours or his room, he slips back into his demon form, showing you that he is comfortable around you and trusts you to not make fun of him. This also happens when he is exited to show you something or rambles on about a new anime to you, him accidently slipping into his demon form without him noticing as he continues to ramble on to you. If you point this out, he will turn beat red and hide his face, his tail wrapping around his legs in embarrassment

If you guys do start dating and get to the point where you two cuddle, he will 100% be flustered the entire time your holding him in your arms, his face buried in your chest. He will quietly ramble on about something or another while his tail wraps around your legs, his arm holding onto your side while your fingers massage his scalp. After getting used to cuddling you more, he will open up abit more and get more used to being close to you, speaking up more while nuzzling his face into your neck

If you come down to devildom as a artist / tattoo artist, he will absolutely pull a anime nose bleed and faint. He constantly asks you to draw his favourite characters, willing to pay you for your works while commissioning the most out of pocket drawings from self inserts to fandom cross overs. He will absolutely take you on those art dates where you go to a art cafe and you both can make art while you eat anime style foods. If he sees that your getting abit overwhelmed with his requests, he will back off abit and apologize to you with a anime date and some food

At first meeting him, he is cold and distant to you, distrusting of the new human from the world above. He doesn't try to get close to you out of social anxiety and fear of you making fun of his interests, that's why he's so pissed off at his family for calling him a otaku Infront of you. Once he makes the pact with you and actually gets to know you, he starts to realize your one of the only people beside his online friends that wont make fun of his interests and his hobbies so he tries to cling to that

In Levi's concept, they said that he would of been yandere so i took that idea and ran with it. He might not kidnap you or hurt you like that in any way, but he will definitely cling to you and try to manipulate you into staying with him. You both have school today? He pretends he's asleep while holding you in his tail, laying on top of you in a clingy cuddle position to make sure you stay with him today. One of his brothers is talking to you? He will randomly push him out of the way and start nerding out on you, smirking slightly when his brother gets annoyed and leaves, letting him have you all to himself

Leviathan has a reptile like tail so it might be abit gross but he does shed every now and then. He normally gets agitated and violent whenever this does happen, refusing to leave his bedroom and getting violent whenever someone tries to come in and coax him out. The brothers warned you the first time this happened to not go into his room but you didn't listen, walking in to see him full on snake hissing at you. Once he realized it was you, he completely melted and just held onto you, whining about how his tail is irritating and hurting him. Get comfy because this man will NOT be letting you go during this period, cuddling into you protectively while his tail restlessly moved and rubbed against stuff. If you offer to help him, he will absolutely take this as "you will help him every time he sheds" and just steal you away every single time when he feels something happen.

Feeding more into the reptile side of him, he despises the cold whenever he is in his demon form. Before you came down to devildom, he used to cuddle into his brothers for warmth or he used to steal as many blankets he could get his hands on and rest in his little fort. When you both started dating, he found out how warm humans were and how much he liked cuddling. He loves cuddling up with you under a blanket while resting in the general area, watching a cheesy rom com anime while the fire roars in the background

He misses his player two whenever you go back up to the human world but gets overjoyed whenever you return, knowing that you brought human world snacks, candy, movies, gacha games, and new animes. Be prepared to not see the sun for a few weeks because your living off of the snacks you brought down. He adores you for doing this for him, even shedding afew tears after seeing how much you actually care about him

He may be antisocial and non confrontational but he will defiantly go out into social settings for you, weather it be a convention, a restaurant, a cafe, a mall, a concert, anything. He loves being with his player two

"Stay with me, Mayonaka no doa o tataki" "you.. you will even sing for me?!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love our otaku boy, i leaned alot into him being clingy with you but overall, i enjoyed writing about him!

Who should i write about next?

[undiscovered-horizon]

Hello Sofia! My name is Aleksandra! Just wanted to send a request of Zoro x reader where reader has just joined the crew she is a witch and very strong, sweet, but could be intense (in a good way) as well as mysterious everyone in the crew absolutely loves her but it takes time for Zoro to completely trust her so he keeps his eye on her causing them both to have some tension some days they are arguing over tiny situations some days they are sitting alone together laughing and smiling at one another with feelings building up that they have yet to understand even though they are confused with their feelings their connection runs deeply to the point it drives them insane everyone else in the crew see's this (Besides our dear Luffy.) They try to get them to open up but it's hopeless at times. I was thinking Zoro gets a deep cut during a fight and Reader helps him with his wound this is where they are able to share their feelings and once they deeply kiss they understand how they feel from there.

I hope this is a good one to do! Thank you!✨🌻✨

I would love to be tagged at!💜 @shewalksinanotherworld

This took a little bit longer and I have nothing to say for myself except that my executive function does not, in fact, function. Enjoy! @shewalksinanotherworld Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi | Have a request?

"The way to a man's heart" - Zoro x Reader

[graphic descriptions of open wounds]

Somebody once said that love and hate are two sides of the same coin - a token of devotion. Like tides of two seas that create storms and whirlpools upon meeting, it is often impossible to determine where one ends and the other begins. Perhaps, these waters have never differed as they are two ends of one river. Both lovers and enemies alike make up the first row of the funeral cortege.

And just like those seas, no matter whether they are the same or two different bodies, Zoro and you seem to be ebbing and flowing across love and hate. Flipping the coin of dedication each day to see where your tense relationship will take you. Sometimes more than once a day, when mere hours separate passionate fights from merry laughter.

But speaking of turning tides and seamlessly flowing waters, wouldn't the seas know each other far too well? What constitutes oceans of hate was once the pond of love. Conversely, the waters of affection had once flown as tides of enmity. If the answer is yes, it would explain quite a lot about the rather inexplicable connection you share with the swordsman. Sometimes not a word has to be spoken but a fleeting gaze exchange for either of you to know perfectly well what the other has on their mind.

To be fair, it's hard for you to put your finger on the why - Why are you and Zoro so strange with each other? The most plausible explanation would probably be his stubborn distrust. He's a very guarded person which, by itself, is not unfathomable considering his journey and livelihood. But it is absolutely tedious when he sticks to his guns against all available evidence. Weeks went by when Zoro was the only crewmember who perceived you in different shades of suspicion, even after witnessing you put your life on the line for your mutual friends. His stubbornness was frustrating, so you gave him as good as you got and well... Here we are, wading in the murky waters of passion, both pleasant and adverse.

However, you'll be wading much different waters, those flowing in the Styx River, if you don't escape now. The Indigo Cross pirates are a little too close behind you. You can almost feel their breaths on your neck as they scream about revenge, bloodshed and defending their captain's honour. Yes, about that... It wasn't exactly Luffy's fault that the man he told to apologize to the tavern waitress was the world's most narcissistic pirate. Alas, the damage is done and so is your chance at a peaceful shore leave.

The Merry Go is but a few meters away. You just have to get to the gangway and run up the stairs so fast your mother would go bald from stress. Just two things, right?

Your foot gets caught the between rotting planks of the pier. The unforeseen obstacle in your escape startles you, giving you barely any time to shield your face from the painful impact of the ground.

"Shit!" you groan to yourself, yanking your foot.

Zoro yells out your name. In long strides, he catches up with you. He manages to rip away one of the mould-covered planks. Despite your foot being set free, the man lifts you to stand on your own.

"You go, I'll hold them back," he orders you as he nudges you in the direction of the ship. Before you can defy him, Zoro is already running towards the oncoming wave of looking-for-a-scrap pirates.

Time seems to slow down as you watch a spear, its polished head shining in the sunlight, fly through the air and pierce Zoro's chest. He stumbles backwards and falls on one knee. With a roar of agony, the swordsman grabs the long shaft of the weapon. A loud snap fills the air as he breaks the wood off. Then, like a phoenix rising from the ashes,, Zoro stands up. Although his legs tremble slightly, he still lifts his swords and fights off the Indigo pirates. Some seem to drop their weapons in surrender, seeing that not even death can grasp this demon of a man.

You want to call for him but Sanji firmly grabs your arm and pulls you on board. "Come on, he can handle himself."

Having hidden on the lower deck, you're not sure what happened on the shore and onboard the ship until you saw none other but Roronoa Zoro, stumbling down the stairs and almost falling on the floor. Luffy, Usopp and even Sanji yell and nag at him to get his wound looked at while Nami keeps calling him different variations of "stupid" but Zoro only curses at them and tells a less savoury "Leave me alone".

Maybe thirty minutes pass by until the emotions die down or are at least well hidden. Your four friends sit around the kitchen, all strangely silent. They all give you a curious look when you let out a heavy sigh and march towards Zoro's room. He's going to die one day, obviously, but it's not going to be today. And definitely not because he put your safety before his own. What kind of rom-com death would that be?

Zoro is facing you with his back when you swing the door open without even knocking first. You seem to have interrupted his rather poor attempt at bandaging the hole in his chest. He looks over his shoulder, his face bearing an expression of annoyance.

"What do you want?"

You toss a handful of medical supplies on top of the chest with his belongings. The fresh dressings, a small bottle of alcohol, a needle and a thread tell quite the story, lying next to the bloodied head of a spear with splinters coming out of where the long shaft should be. It's still hardly believable what he did back there.

"When you get an infection, you green-haired idiot," you speak with your hands crossed on your chest. It's clear as day - you're pissed off, "it will be Sanji spoon-feeding you. I'm sure you'll be having the time of your life then."

Your sarcastic remark doesn't seem to phase him. The wrinkle between Zoro's eyebrows only gets deeper.

"I'm fine. I've been worse," he says with an exasperated sigh. "Just piss off," the man groans in a low voice.

Maybe if he wasn't already injured, you'd punch him straight in the jaw. "Stop being a stubborn ass," you raise your voice, "and let me help you."

Zoro rolls his eyes dramatically. Making a show of his discontentment, he sits on the edge of his hammock. If he was just a few yours younger maybe he'd stomp his feet too, as befits a toddler he seems to have chosen to act like.

Minutes go by in silence as you clean the deep would and do your best suturing it. Meanwhile, Zoro doesn't even wince. He's perfectly calm and collected, almost as though his soul has left his body and gone for a stroll.

By the looks of it, you haven't stitched wounds many times and Sanji would probably be better at this, with his experienced hands and all, but that would require Zoro to be either already dead or at least unconscious. There's no other way he'd willingly let those slimy fingers touch him.

“They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach," you say under your breath as you tighten the knot on the last suture. The last thing you want is the deep wound reopening. "I guess going through his ribs works too.”

"A lot more efficient." The swordsman chuckles but his laughter soon turns into winces and groans. Although he's not going to bleed to death anymore, the rather large hole in his chest is this painful and not something to trifle with.

"A spear nearly pierced right through you and you're having a laugh?" You nod with approval. He's impressed you, you have to give him that. "Roronoa Zoro, you command respect."

A silence falls between you again as you put back the collection of medical supplies you've managed to find aboard. Little do you know, Zoro's watchful gaze doesn't leave you. He seems to be intensely thinking about something.

"Thanks," he finally spits out. "I would rather die than let Sanji spoon-feed me."

It's not the wraith of death that scared him into letting you patch him up - it was the cook in a striped shirt. Really? Roronoa Zoro is a lot of things but "ordinary" or "predictable" is not one of them.

You burst into laughter. "Unfortunately," you manage to breathe out, "I would have loved to see that."

He shakes his head in disapproval but his lips are curved into a grin. "I hate you."

"No, you don't, big guy," you answer as you playfully poke his arm. It's still covered in dried blood and sweat.

His dark eyes stare into yours with a strange glint to them. It's almost like amusement but not entirely - it's deeper, much deeper. "Yeah, I don't," he whispers.

Everything happens so fast: Zoro grabs your neck and pulls you flush against himself, crashing his lips against yours. Involuntarily you yelp, which elicits a chuckle from the man. On one hand, you're surprised with his sudden declaration of passion but on the other hand, you're relieved. Of course, you have joked that Zoro must be in love with you to be so annoying most of the time but rarely did you consider it a real possibility. He just... didn't seem like a man who loves, only desires. But now, when he's kissing you so desperately and eagerly, you feel stupid for ever thinking such thoughts. As his hand roams your body, you begin to wonder whether all of this has always been this funny - every one of your friends already knew the feelings you had for each other, except the two of you. Something so obvious it's easily overlooked.

It makes you think that he was, actually, scared of losing but not his life. He was scared of losing someone.

[prozac]

December 27th, 2008 is the day Anik Pillai was left behind. Trying to find his family, he travels the East Coast with his new friends, avoiding the bloodthirsty monsters created by a world-ending virus. ⠀⠀⠀🌹

⠀⠀

⠀

🌹 Season 1: 5 months (Jan-May)

⠀Anik Pillai, separated from his sister, makes friendly with multiple people in the chaos of the collapse of society. In this chaos, Anik raises a little boy who was also separated from his family.

1. Destroy My Life | 2. Fueling | 3. More Tigers in Captivity than the Wild | 4. Avtomat Kalashnikova | 5. The Goliath | 6. Soup | 7. A Completely, Totally, Safe Place | 8. Distrust Him | 9. Theatrics | 10. Shape & Scissor

⠀

🌹 Season 2: 1 month (June)

⠀Anik and his friends try to escape the city before it is bombed by the remnants of the United States’ government.

1. Nirvana | 2. Is There Anyone Coming For Him? | 3. Raccoon Dye | 4. The Ever-Changing Menu | 5. Top Secret | 6. Hordes Form Hordes | 7. A Nice Walk in the Park | 8. Napalm | 9. Crossing Paths | 10. Down the Fifteen Stories

⠀

🌹 Season 3: 2 months (July-August)

⠀Still unable to find his sister & parents, Anik and friends meet a capable married couple, and head to a safe settlement called Wheatville.

1. The Pillai Residence | 2. Another New Acquaintence | 3. I Like Them Scrambled! | 4. Meatballs | 5. Childhood, Weddings, & Forgetfulness | 6. A Most Severe Evil | 7. The Barricade | 8. Wheatfields of Wheatville | 9. Be True, and They Will Follow | 10. He'll Be Leaving Here - With You.

⠀

🌹 Season 4: 1 month (September)

⠀The main group learn more about the state of society and science after the fall.

1. The Skin Boils Beneath, Holding Visions | 2. To Wish Impossible Things | 3. Lumbar Puncture | 4. Fever Dream | 5. Meatfillings | 6. Separation Anxiety | 7. Wise Serpent and Harmless Dove | 8. X | 9. Round and Round They Go | 10. The Doctorate of Otis Ross

⠀

🌹 Season 5: 3 months (October-December)

⠀The main group learn more about the virus that has made the world implode.

1. Bedridden | 2. Teeth Bared Raw | 3. Bullet Factory / Piece of Cake | 4. It Cycles | 5. Dogs Howling Out of Key | 6. Unused Grain Silo | 7. Mouse Maze | 8. Burning the Flag Wrapped Around Him | 9. Devil | 10. The Prophecy

⠀

🌹 Season 6: 1 year (January-December)

⠀Those who remain stay at the first major rebuilt faction: a settlement called Libertytown.

1. Money, Pennies | 2. Libertytown | 3. 'Doc | 4. Knights of the Walled Kingdom | 5. Two-Face | 6. In Between His Denial | 7. Cokehead | 8. His Garden | 9. IT WILL BE A MASSACRE | 10. The Promise

⠀

🌹 Season 7: 4 months (January-April)

⠀While the group is forcibly split, Anik and those with him travel to the city formerly known as Atlanta, which hosts another rebuilt faction: Center for Safety.

1. Desperation | 2. Guidance | 3. Red-Jacketed (Her) Killer | 4. Position of Power | 5. The Doctorate of Xavier Gray | 6. (Rabbit) | 7. Double / Stranded | 8. A Monster | 9. Can't You Hear Me Crying Out? | 10. The Payoff

⠀

🌹 Season 8: 1 yr (May-May)

⠀A period of rest. However, the surface of calm begins to bubble…

1. Third Day | 2. To:California | 3. Anju | 4. Seventh & Finger | 5. Hi. I Can Help. | 6. Shortages | 7. The Door's Left Wide Open | 8. Knights of the Walled Kingdom II | 9. Truth | 10. A Game of Chess

⠀

🌹 Season 9: 2 months (June-July)

⠀Anik learns more about the state of the world outside of the embrace of the powerful settlements.

1. Two-Face II | 2. Hanged Man | 3. To… Awesome! Village! | 4. Just One More | 5. Preacher | 6. Butcher | 7. Angel | 8. of Death | 9. You Think You’re Alone | 10. Letter Left Behind

⠀

⠀

🌹 Season 10: 1 month (August)

⠀THE MEAT FACTORY.

1. Gods Before Me | 2. Idols | 3. In Vain | 4. Sunday | 5. HONOR YOUR FATHER | 6. Murder | 7. Adultery | 8. Theft | 9. The False Witnesses | 10. Two-Face III

⠀

🌹 Season 11: 11 months (September-July)

⠀Anik is alone.

1. The Other Letter Left Behind | 2. Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, Ninth | 3. Pawned | 4. Meatrots | 5. His Fire | 6. New Creation of Man | 7. Don’t Jump the Line | 8. You Like Them Scrambled? | 9. Obituary For the Inner Self | 10. Knights of the Walled Kingdom III

⠀

🌹 Season 12: 6 months (August-January)

⠀Valentino King, hungry ruler of the Kingdom faction, strikes a deal with the mourning Anik Pillai. Anik takes that deal.

1. The King | 2. Golden Boy | 3. Family | 4. The Ballroom | 5. Obsession | 6. The Round Table | 7. I Promise | 8. Anik’s Life is Perfect | 9. Zero Shame | 10. The Kingdom

⠀

🌹 Season 13: 1 year 4 months (Feburary x2-June)

⠀With society on the coast all forming alliances, the new faction Home begins to become a place of respite.

1. Beginning of | 2. A Gentle Hand | 3. Anu | 4. Tiger in a Tight Enclosure | 5. The Dependent | 6. Blue / Pink | 7. No-One Hears Me Crying Out | 8. Up All Night | 9. I shall… | 10. Home.

⠀

🌹 Season 14: ~3 days (July)

The war begins to end.

1. RUN, RABBIT! | 2. Brim | 3. A Growing Boy Needs | 4. Drink Your Blood for the Taste | 5. 7 Seconds | 6. Here, or There | 7. Salvation | 8. Play Witness | 9. Luck | 10. (KNIFE)

⠀

🌹 Season 15: 6 months (July-December)

⠀Anik Pillai finishes what was started.

1. Dawn of the Rest of Your Life | 2. His Great Desire | 3. Queened | 4. Oh, Stranger | 5. Rebirth | 6. Too Late to Truly Mean Anything | 7. Amma | 8. To: Die Easy | 9. Like Father | 10. And All That I Loved

⠀

⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🥀

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Choi San x F!Reader TW : mentions of past cheating ;slight possessiveness ; fighting ; manipulation ; Word Count : 4.4k

She’s got everything she could ever want, she’s got the man of her dreams, the house of her dreams, she’s living a dream. The entire world envied her, the way her man looked at her with such love in his eyes even when she wasn’t looking back at him, the silver bands that adorned her fingers worth more than most peoples house and cars put together. She’s the luckiest girl in the world, and she is you. 

The necklace that perfectly complimented your outfit was draped carefully around your neck and clasped in the back, delicate fingers tracing lightly over the exposed skin of your neck as you stared at yourself in the vanity mirror. “You don’t think I’m too overdressed, do you?” You asked, meeting Sans gaze in the mirror as he rested his chin on your shoulder. 

“Of course not, babe. You look amazing.” San hummed, his hands running up and down your arms that would soon be covered by the thin knitted cardigan that hung on the back of the chair. “I’m so lucky I get to sit beside you tonight.” He murmured against the shell of your ear before pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

You couldn’t help but admire him as he stood up straight, the crisp white button up that he was wearing hadn’t even gotten wrinkled while he was leaning over. He always looked good, even when he wasn’t dressed up, but right now, he looked amazing. “The people who run the event… They know that I’ll be there with you too, right?” You asked, taking one last look at yourself in the mirror before getting up and following him out of the room. 

This was an important event for both you and San, him and the guys were being nominated for an award tonight, but this would also be the first event that you and San would be publicly seen together after getting married. There had been a lot of unofficial photographs from reporters and paparazzi that had been released over time, but none of them were truly trustable, this time though, everyone would know it’s true. 

“Of course they know you’ll be there, babe.” He walked over to you as you slipped on the heels that you knew would end up forgotten on the floor by the first half of the event, letting you use his shoulder to hold yourself steady as you stood up straight. “I made sure they remembered to put an extra two seats at the table, one seat for you that’ll be right beside me, and one seat for your purse.” He took a step back, his eyes scanning over you as a warm smile graced his features. “You look absolutely stunning, I’m so lucky.” 

You whispered a soft thank you, always feeling shy whenever he complimented you even after having been with him for so long. “Are you ready to go?” You asked, grabbing your bag off the hook and walking closer to the door, but San held his finger up, motioning for you to wait as he ran to the bedroom, quickly returning with your cardigan. “Ah… thank you, honey.” 

He held it out for you as you slipped your arms in, smoothing out the fabric once it was on your body, his smile growing wider as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Now we’re ready to go.” He said softly, flicking off the lights as his other hand stayed on your lower back, leading you out the door. 

You wouldn’t say that San was controlling, you were allowed to do things, you were allowed to go out and hang with friends. San was just… very possessive of you. When you were out, he was constantly texting you, asking for pictures, making sure no one was getting too close to you, sometimes he’d even call you and ask you to keep the call going in the background just to hear your voice and make sure nothing was going on. It’s not that he didn’t trust you though, he just didn’t trust the world and the people that lived in it. The distrust wasn’t just targeted towards strangers or your friends though, he didn’t even trust his own groupmates, hence why there would be the “purse chair” as he called it, specifically there to keep the space between you and whatever unfortunate member would be on the opposite side of that chair, on the receiving end of Sans side eye for a majority of the night. 

The event venue was packed already, people showing up fashionably early, along with the reporters whose cameras flashed repeatedly in everyone's faces. San didn’t mind at all though, he was more than happy to be seen with you on his arm, your outfits perfectly matched to make you look like the perfect couple, and as of now, it felt like you truly were. 

Once the two of you made it through the front doors it was just a matter of finding the table that you’d sit at, and that wasn’t a problem considering most of the other guys had already shown up, jumping up from their chairs and waving you and San over. “You finally made it! It’s a mess out there, how was it getting through?” Wooyoung said when the two of you made it to the table, Sans hand was now gripping your own, holding it so tightly and so close to himself that he might as well have put your clasped hands in the pocket of his suit jacket. 

“What do you mean finally? We’re an hour and a half early?” San teased as he looked around the table, counting the chairs and then quickly claiming three for you, himself and your bag. “It’s crazy out there though, those flashes almost blinded Y/N.” He said your name with such reverence, smiling to you as he pulled out your chair and then took your purse and placed it on the chair beside you before any of the guys could take the seat. “Speaking of… This is my wife.” He took his seat, his arm immediately draping over your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze as his other hand lifted the glass of water that was on the table. 

“I’m glad we get to meet in a more formal setting this time.” Seunghwa said with a smirk, and you couldn’t help but be confused since this was the first time you had met him and the other guys in general. “It only took San three months of sneaking you in the dorms to finally marry you, that must be true love there.” Seunghwa raised his glass and the guys all followed suit, the seven of them wearing smiles as they looked at you and San. “Congratulations.” 

It was crazy how Seunghwa, who was just trying to be a little funny, had essentially ruined your marriage, ruined your relationship, and broken your heart all at once. It didn’t take deep thought or some confusing equation for you to add things up. You knew that San and yourself had been together way longer than three months. The marriage certificate had been filled out two months ago, and you had been engaged for five months before that, and even before that, the two of you had been dating steadily for a year and a half. It wasn’t even just the math though, it was the fact that you had never even stepped foot into the dorms, and surely if you had, you wouldn’t have to be snuck in. 

Sans body was tense, and you could feel him staring at you out of the corner of his eyes, awaiting your reaction. He knew he fucked up, but there were so many people around, he didn’t want to make a scene and go off on Seunghwa for dropping the bomb. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick.” You said, already pushing your chair back, trying your best to hold onto the calm composure that you had been carrying before you were hit with such news. 

“Y/N…” San whispered, grabbing your hand and looking up at you with wide eyes that were screaming at you to stay. He knew you were pissed, he just didn’t exactly know what that would mean. You used your free hand to grab your purse, slinging it over your shoulder as you tried to pull away without making it too obvious. “Why are you taking your purse, I can watch it?” 

“For lady reasons…” You whispered right back, proud of how quick your mind was able to come up with an excuse while being so frazzled. “I’ll be right back.” You said to the guys at the table, but you and San knew better, you wouldn’t be back at all. His eyes watched you as you walked away, knowing that this view would be the last he’d have of you, at least for the rest of the night. 

Of course you weren’t just going to sit there beside him, pretending to be the happy wife of someone that you had just found out cheated on you. It sucked, but what made it worse was the fact that he had done it a month before you got married, and you weren’t sure how long he had been doing it before then either. San didn’t value you, he didn’t cherish you, and you were beginning to believe that he was only so possessive of you because he had a guilty conscience, and he was scared that you’d do the same thing he did. 

Both your wedding and engagement ring were promptly slid off and left on the sink counter at the venue before walking out and calling yourself a cab. You needed to go home, you needed to think, not about how to fix things, but how to end things without it turning into a big argument. You wouldn’t have been able to do that at the venue, you needed to be alone with your thoughts. 

How were you going to end things? It wouldn’t be easy, you knew that. He wouldn’t leave willingly, you knew the kind of person he was. He’d make all kinds of excuses, and then he’d try to soften you up, make you forget all about it. You couldn’t let that happen, you knew there was a chance, he was so charming, so manipulative, you wondered if he even knew. You needed time, time to prepare yourself for what was to come. 

You started with the hardest task, packing up all of his clothes into his suitcases, and when the suitcases ran out of room, you started tossing his clothes into bags that all ended up lined up at the front door. It would be the first sight to greet him when he walks in. Award shows lasted pretty long, and there were often after parties, although you weren’t sure if San would go to this one. Maybe he would, just to grab a couple drinks before walking into the storm that was awaiting him at home. 

Next to go were the pictures, pictures of you and him when you were so happy, so naive, so clueless as to what he was truly doing. He was happy too, and why would he not be? He hadn’t been caught yet, and he was probably under the assumption that he never would be. That’s the thing about cheaters, about cheating in general… It’ll only be so long before things come out, whether it’s from their own slip up, or from an unaware friend who has no idea. 

The pictures in the frames were promptly trashed, replaced with the original pictures that had once been in there. Pictures of you with friends and family, surrounded by people who loved you, people who would never hurt you. The pictures would serve as a constant reminder to you that even without San there, you still had people there for you. 

It didn’t change the fact that you were devastated though. You could remove his clothes from the bedroom, you could remove the pictures from the frames, but you couldn’t get rid of the memories, not this quickly. Anger had fueled you in your quest to pack up and get rid of everything that was his, but once you were done, the only thing you could do was cry. Cry over the years that you wasted, years that had you falling deeper and deeper in love with him until he slipped those two rings on your finger. You had been so excited, planning the wedding venue and looking at wedding dresses, making a list of all the people that you were going to invite. It was all for nothing though, everything that had to do with him was just a waste of time. 

That’s when he came in, of course it would be. He couldn’t walk through the front door when you were emotionally stronger, no… He came back when you were weak, sobbing on the couch as you gripped onto the throw pillow. “So that’s it…? You don’t want to talk about it?” He asked, looking around at the bags on the floor, knowing damn well that his stuff was inside of them. 

“What’s there to talk about?” You mumbled, turning your head to glance at him over the back of the couch. Your vision was blurry from the tears that filled your eyes, but you saw him, standing in the doorway, shoulders slumped as he watched you. “You cheated… I have nothing to say to you.” 

He watched as you got up off the couch, letting you take a few steps before practically running to you, grabbing your arm and turning you around to face him. “You really want to end it like this? How do you know Seunghwa was telling the truth, huh? You really think I’d cheat on you after proposing to you? You’re too trusting… You believe anything…” 

“Is that why you panicked?” You retorted, trying your best to hold your head high although you were beyond embarrassed, you were humiliated. “You knew that he was telling the truth, that’s why you got so tense. That’s how I knew it was the truth.” You weakly pushed against his chest, sobbing softly as your head shook. “As if it wasn’t bad enough to be cheated on, it had to be by you. The whole world is going to find out soon enough and…” You sniffled loudly, wiping your tears on your sleeve. “And I’m going to be the fool! Not you! So just… take your stuff and go… please.” 

His arms dropped to the side, completely defeated. “I’ll go…” He muttered, backing up slowly as his own tears began to fall. There was no point in arguing with you, not right now, not when the wounds were so fresh. You were right, and you had every right to be angry with him. “I’ll take as much as I can… I’m sorry…” 

Anger took hold of him as he sped through crowded streets, making his way to the dorms where the guys were most likely just now getting in. One mistake, it was in the past and that’s where he wanted to keep it, but Seunghwa just had to bring it up. What was the point of bringing it up? It was a mistake that he wanted to forget about making. He wasn’t proud of it, he hated himself for doing it, that’s why he clung to you, doted upon you, practically worshiped you. You were Sans everything, and now what? Were you truly done with him? Did you really not want anything to do with him? It was all Seunghwas fault… him and his mouth… 

San stormed into the dorms, the doorknob slamming against the wall and then bouncing back, slamming shut and just further holding the attention of the other guys who sat around in the living room, still slightly drunk from the afterparty. “Yah! San, what are you doing?!” Hongjoong called out, the only one who looked even slightly sober in the group right now. 

The few bags that he had been able to take with him from the apartment were dropped onto the floor as he stormed over to Seunghwa, his finger in the older man’s face, his hand shaking with his anger. “You… You did this! Why do you talk?!” San shouted, the other guys finally catching on enough to try to pull him back. “You ruined everything! I love her! I do! Why…?!” He was breathing heavily as tears streamed down his face, the guys finally able to get him as far away from Seunghwa as possible in the short moment of weakness. 

“What are you talking about?” Seunghwa was genuinely, and rightfully, confused by the sudden outburst, but it was soon replaced by panic as he jumped up, his eyes going wide. “Did I embarrass her? What happened, is she okay?” His head shook as he ran his hands over his alcohol induced reddened face. “I really didn’t mean to upset her… Did something bad happen?” 

Everyone in the room was now looking to San for answers, but he could only chuckle humorlessly as he pushed the guys back. “Did something… did…” He could barely get the words out as his breaths quickened once more, his nostrils flaring as anger evolved into pure rage. “I’m losing my fucking wife! She… She kicked me out because…” And as quickly as that rage had lit up inside of him, it was burnt out, guilt and regret crashing over him like waves during a storm. “It wasn’t her… I fucked up… And I wanted to… to forget… I didn’t want her to know…” His voice became a whisper as he slid down the wall, falling to the floor and curling up into himself. “I was drunk… and she was out of town… and I felt awful about it immediately… that’s… that’s why I made her leave so early. I didn’t think anyone would be awake… I don’t… I don’t even drink anymore because I’m so… I’m so scared of something like that happening again and… I love Y/N… I don’t want to lose her…” 

Seunghwa fell back onto the couch, his face in his hands as heavy sighs escaped him. “It’s not my fault… How was I supposed to know?” He muttered, taking a deep breath as he lifted his head to look at San. “You didn’t tell us anything… You didn’t even tell us that you were getting married. We didn’t find out until that meeting with the manager before the show. Then… Then you have the nerve to come in here getting mad at me because… because I assumed that she was that girl… It’s not my fault that you hid your wife.” He stood up, eyes like daggers glaring at San. “And it’s not my fault that you cheated on her either.” 

“I…” San started, his breath shaky as he pushed himself up off the floor. “I hid her because she was mine! I love her… I… I didn’t mean to cheat on her, it just… It happened and I know that it doesn’t make it any better but…” He sniffled softly as he leaned against the wall, his head falling back as tears streaming down his face. “But I don’t want to be without her… I…” A sharp gasp shot through his lips as he turned to go into his own room, a room that he hadn’t been in in three months, a room that he’d much rather forget even existed along with the memories that lingered beneath the sheets of his bed. 

You knocked quickly on the door, a few of the bags that you were able to lug into the building by yourself on the floor beside your feet as you waited for someone to answer. It’s not like no one was home, you could hear the tv from the other side of the door… Maybe they just couldn’t hear you? So you knocked louder, your fist hurting from the force behind it. “Yah! Open the damn-” Before you could get the last word out, the door swung open, and there he was. 

“Y/N…” San whispered your name, his eyes wide and already welling with tears the moment he looked at you. “You’re here…” A shaky hand ran through his hair as he took a step back, motioning for you to come inside. “I’m making ramen… If you want some. I have other food too, I always keep all your favorites… I’ve been waiting for… I… I miss you.” 

God, why were you crying? He hurt you? And why should he be crying when you were the one who’s gone through three months of pain because of him? “I just came to drop off the rest of your things.” You said, avoiding eye contact, knowing that the more you looked at him, the more you’d be hurt. “I was only able to carry up a little… The rest is in my car. You can come down and get it… Or not. I don’t care. I’ve waited for you to come pick it up long enough though.” 

“I didn’t want to pick it up… I thought that you’d ask me to come back at some point.” Of course he’d think that. You didn’t have time to play this game with him, and going back and forth would only cause you both more heartache. You quickly turned on your heel, if he wasn’t going to get his stuff, you’d just give it to people who need it. “W-Wait… Don’t leave… Don’t leave me…” He grabbed your elbow, yanking you back to him until you crashed against his chest. “You don’t know how hard it’s been… Without you… I feel like I could die… I hate it… I hate not being with you.” 

“I… don’t know how hard it’s been?” You repeated breathlessly, scoffing as you pushed him back. “You don’t know! First I get cheated on by you and I find out about it three months later and then… I can’t even leave my own house with reporters and paparazzi shoving their stupid cameras in my face and asking why they haven’t seen us together and why I wasn’t still at the award show when you made your speech. And for some reason I care about you too much to tell them the truth… So I’m the bad one…” You watched as his face fell, his arms still outstretched as if to wrap around you. “You feel like you could die… But I wish I would. You don’t know what it’s like to constantly be attacked and not be able to say anything… I don’t know why I still protect you… Just… Get your things so I can go.” 

“I’ll tell them… I’ll publically announce what I did just so they’ll leave you alone.” He grabbed your hand again, this time just holding it tightly, terrified that if he let you go once more that you’d finally leave. “Just stay with me… I want to work this out… I don’t want to lose you. I don’t care what happens with the group or anything, I don’t care what the fans think of me, or what the agency says… I made a mistake and I’ll pay for it, but I swear on everything, I’ve never made that mistake again. I don’t even drink, I don’t go out unless it’s with you.” 

He kept pulling you closer, and you were tired of trying to pull away, it’s not like it would do any good, he’d just keep pulling you back, and as much as you tried to ignore the feelings, you missed him, you missed his touch, his hugs, his kisses. You missed everything about him. “Why do they hate me so much… They don’t know me… They don’t know what I’m going through. They don’t know what you did to me…” You allowed yourself to fall once again against his chest, and this time he pulled you further into the dorms, shutting the door behind you and moved you to the couch. 

“They hate you because they’re not you.” He responded matter of factly, brushing his hand over your hair as he pulled you down onto the couch beside him. “They’ll know what I’ve done, and they’ll know how lucky I am to have a wonderful woman that sticks beside me, even though I’m an idiot… I know I don’t deserve you… But I don’t want to live without you either.”

“Yah…” You muttered, sniffling softly and pulling back to look at him. “Wh-Who said I was still your wife? You’re an idiot… Choi San… And I don’t marry idiots…” You mumbled, turning your back to him to stare out the window. 

You felt the couch vibrate with his silent laughter, his arms snaking around your waist as his chin rested on your shoulder. “Well… Maybe you can give this idiot a chance… Just one? Just one chance to prove that he’s madly in love with you, and would do anything to keep you… Please.” His lips pressed against your neck, and you swore it felt like electricity coursing through your veins. 

“Such an idiot…” You grumbled, although you felt yourself instinctively leaning back against him until you were leaning once more against his chest, his arms still tightly surrounding you, and truthfully, in his arms was the only place you ever wanted to be. 

“Ah… but you’re also madly in love with this idiot… so let me help you out here.” His tone was lighter now, and you could still feel his body shaking with his laughter as he fumbled in his pockets. “My beautiful wife, your hand looked so empty without your rings… How could you possibly forget them in the restroom?” He teased, grabbing your hand and quickly slipping the band back onto your ring finger. “Much better… Right?” 

You turned your head to stick your tongue out at him, but his lips quickly crashed against yours and you hated how much you realized you needed him at that moment, how happy you were to finally have him back. You trusted him though, and as much as he had hurt you and humiliated you, you loved him. “Mm…” You hummed once he finally pulled back, holding your hand up to look at the rings that were finally back in their rightful spot. “Let’s go home… We have a lot of unpacking to do.” 

[twstfanblog]

!*~Valentine's Times~*! pt 2

A/N: Here's the first half of the dorms! I decided to add in my own world-building into this fic because that's my favorite part of writing honestly! Hope you enjoy it! Word Count: 5.5K Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC, Gets mildly spicy, swearing Pairings: Established poly (Yuu/Azul/Jamil/Malleus), Alluded to Riddle/Floyd, Alluded to Jade/Trey, Alluded Ruggie/Leona L (NRC Staff ft OCs). O (Here). V (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia). E (Crack)

O is for the only one I see...

~HEARTSLABYUL~ 

Valentine's Day was one of the most important days in Heartslabyul. Not just because it was the holiday covered in the Queen of Hearts motif, but because it was the literal marriage anniversary of the Queen and her first King. The man who arguably kept his fiery wife in good spirits and happiness, saving nearly hundreds from beheadings throughout his life. Even when the queen remarried, every February 14th she would all but explode from the love she still held for her former king.

As the centuries passed, the Queen's Anniversary was brought to other parts of Twisted Wonderland, morphing into Valentine's Day from multiple cultural adaptations. While still considered a minor holiday, it was widely celebrated. So, Heartslabyul as the Queen's dorm, took Valentine's Day very very seriously.

Yuu looked at the students of the Queen's dorm, watching the Heartslabyul crew rushing around in a pure panic trying to decorate. Riddle clearly wanted to make the school-wide holiday tea party perfect, more than likely nearly sending his own teen heart into mini cardiac arrests the second a single rose was found off by a petal or color. The dorm was in such hyper-focus, Yuu was able to walk around as though invisible, letting out a low whistle as the collared students running past them started reaching the double digits. They stop in front of a display of roses, each bloom so perfect and similar it kind of freaked them out…

“Maybe the chocolate will help him calm down…”

“HEY!” Yuu startled and turned, seeing Deuce with another student. Each with an armful of creepily perfect flowers in one arm and Deuce pointing directly at them. “NO LAZYING-...Oh. Yuu, what are you doing here?” Deuce shoved his share of flowers into the other first year's arms, ignoring their groans as he walked toward them, “The Valentine’s Day party isn't for hours. Did you come to help decorate?”

“Ha. No. I came to spread cheer-”

Deuce quickly placed his hands on Yuu's shoulders, staring into their eyes as though he were begging them for mercy, “Yuu, whatever shenanigans you have planned. Not here…Not today.”

“Oh my God. Calm down.” Yuu brushes off Deuce’s hands, smiling as they instead teasingly fix his dorm jacket, “I'm actually here to deliver cheer. In fact, can you do me a favor and get everyone in one place? I don't wanna run around trying to find everyone.”

He gives them a distrusting look but still sighs in acceptance. Looking away, he brings a hand to his mouth as he thinks, “I think everyone is mostly in the garden…Clover-Senpai is in the kitchen. So…” he smiles, pointing behind him with his thumb, “I'll grab Clover-Senpai and we'll meet you in the garden!”

Yuu beams, clapping their hands, “Perfect! See you in the garden, Deuce!” 

The two of them split, each running in opposite directions. Soon Yuu found themselves rushing into the maze, following the sounds of Riddle's yelling. They slow their jog, looking at the half decorated courtyard in mild amazement before Riddle's voice cuts through their thoughts.

“Trappola! I will ask you again…What is wrong with this picture!?” Riddle gestures toward a singular bush of bright red roses.

Ace seemed just as fed up, making loud humming sounds as he nearly shoved his face into the bush to look at the roses, “Besides the fact there's nothing wrong with the damn bush? No! I haven't the faintest idea, Housewarden!”

Yuu watches as Riddle physically turns away from Ace, hands covering his face with his head tilted toward the sky. He turns back, face growing its impressive shade of red as he points to one of the roses, “I SAID ‘ROSE RED’, TRAPPOLA. THESE ROSES ARE PINK.”

“WHERE!?” Ace’s face was quick to press against Riddle's hand, annoyingly trying to figure out what Riddle was seeing. When he could only see the roses as the red he asked for, he turned to Riddle, glaring, “WHERE!?”

“By the Seven! I'd dare to call them FUSCHIA!”

Somehow over the screaming match, Yuu heard a groan to the side of them. Cater sat at a table, card stock scattered around him with his ‘Cute’ handwriting spelling out people's names. Yuu smiles as they pick up their own card, raising an eyebrow at Cater’s mumbles.

“I can't. I'm not strong enough. I have to kill Idia by giving him his chocolates in public. There's no way #terrorone and #terrorjr are gonna be done fighting over this before lunch. Trey’s locked in the kitchen and I have to keep them from killing each other…”

They were barely able to keep their laughter in check, placing their name tag back down and yelling out loud enough to be heard over Riddle and Ace screaming at each other, “Hi~!”

Cater snaps up, eyes wild in fear as he looks at them, “Yuu, sweetie-”

Riddle snaps his head in their direction and points to the entryway of the maze's courtyard, nearly foaming at the mouth as he glared toward them, “GET THE FUCK OUT!”

“Aha!? Riddle, my hair is already half up. We can fight, right the fuck now.”

Silence passes through the courtyard. Riddle takes deep breaths, face held in his hands as he walks aimlessly to burn off his steadily growing aggression.

Ace watched Riddle with a wary eye before turning to Yuu, “Look, prefect. Unless you're here to help, I don't think you should stay long…” the unspoken ‘Riddle is going insane’ ringing clear.

Yuu smiles, shaking their head and patting their bag, “Not staying or helping. But…I come bearing gifts-”

How Riddle walked that fast in heels, on grass, with his short legs and not falling, Yuu didn't know. But the second-year stomps up to them, grips them tight by their overall straps and yanks them close. For a brief moment, Yuu felt fear, looking into Riddle's bloodshot gray eyes.

“Yuu. You are like a sister to me. I care about you deeply and I feel genuinely grateful that we were able to become friends. But whatever…nonsense you have cooked up. Don't. Literally. Don't. I think I would actually hurt you-oh…”

During Riddle's increasingly manic speech, Yuu had reached into their tote and presented him with his bag of chocolate. Tied closed with a bright red ribbon, fashioned to look like a flower bloom. Inside were rose-shaped milk chocolates filled with strawberry jam, crown-shaped sugar-coated strawberry gummy candies and gold-colored chocolate pearls. They smile lightly as Riddle slowly takes the bag from their grasp.

“You…you actually brought a gift for me…”

“Yeah. That was kind of my plan for today. I knew everyone was gonna be busy putting together this big ass party for today. So instead of doing the easy thing and waiting for the chocolate exchange later tonight, I decided to visit you guys all early and gift you your chocolates as a pick me up.” Yuu leans forward, smiling as they flick Riddle on the forehead to snap him out of his trance, “Because I'm so nice.”

Riddle sighs, holding the chocolate with both his hands, “I'm…I'm going to take a break. I think we all need it. Ace, we'll fix the roses later.”

Ace sputters, flailing his arms and just barely stopping from flinging his jacket off as he wretched a paint sample from his pocket to shove in Riddle's face,”I LITERALLY COLOR MATCHED THEM TO THE DAMN SAMPLE YOU PASSED OUT!?”

Riddle looks at the swatch, plucking it from Ace’s hands to bring it closer to his face, “Oh dear…this is last year's swatch. It's faded…”

“...” Ace breathed in deep, head tilting back as he let out an anguished-sounding yell before dropping to his knees and curling up in what Yuu could only call defeat.

They reach into their tote, pulling out another bag tied with red and black ribbons. Inside were milk chocolate-covered pitted cherries along with plain and red luster-dusted white chocolate heart shapes. Yuu drops the bag beside Ace’s head, chuckling as the first-year grabs it with a huff and opens it to eat one of the chocolates.

“We're here!” Deuce walks into the courtyard, one hand raised in greeting and the other dragging a bleary eyed Trey behind him.

Trey sighed, taking his hand from Deuces hold to pull his glasses off, “I've got 20 minutes until my cakes need to be out of the oven.” After cleaning the smears from his glasses, he places them back on his face only to have his eyes creasing at the scene before him, “What happened…?”

“Nothing of real importance-CATCH.” Yuu chucks a bag tied with dark green and yellow ribbons at Trey, barely giving the third-year a chance to realize something was being flung directly at his face.

Luckily Trey was able to catch the bag, looking into it with curiosity before he smiled. Dark and milk chocolates shaped like clovers with green chocolate pearls filled the bag. He opened it to examine the sweets, feeling proud at how well the chocolates looked compared to Yuu’s first attempts, “You did really well. I’m glad you took my advice, the chocolates seemed to have firmed up properly.” He pops the sweet into his mouth and chews, eyes widening at feeling the shell break “Oh! They’re filled…hm…The lavender paste isn’t as sweet as I’d normally make it, but it's really smooth and I like how it blends with the chocolate-”

Yuu pats the third-year’s shoulder, interrupting his critique, “Trey, thank you…but dude this is not a peer review thing, just eat the chocolate.”

He chuckles, reaching into the bag again to grab a different chocolate, only to snort at finding a green toothbrush in the bag as well, “I just want you to know I’m proud of how well you did.” 

Deuce looks on in question, humming under his breath before quietly asking Yuu, “Did you bring me chocolate too?”

“Are you one of my most special boys?”

“...” Deuce grew flustered, looking to the side as a small blush colors his cheeks, “Y-ya?”

“Then you get chocolate!” Yuu pulled out another bag, tied closed with blue and black ribbons. Inside were milk and blue luster-dusted white chocolates in the shape of spades, but the bigger shapes were cut-out marshmallows of yellow chicks.

Gasping, Deuce takes the bag gently in his hands as he looks at the marshmallows in poorly contained adoration, “I…Yuu, I can't eat them. They're so small. Yuu, I can't eat a baby chicken!”

Riddle grunts from the table beside Cater, chewing thoughtfully on one of the gummy crowns, “Don't waste food.”

Cater hums, raising an eyebrow as Yuu smiles at him, “Sweetie…you know I don't like sweets…” the thought Yuu went out of their way to make him a bag still made him feel appreciated though.

“I'm aware. So here.” They pull out a bag tied off with orange and red ribbons. Inside were dark chocolate circles that looked to have piped on emoji faces. Brightly multi-colored diamond-shaped gummies filling up the bag.

“Oh. My. SEVEN! Yuu, this is totally cam-able!” Cater grabbed the bag, eyes glittering just how adorable and on brand the bag felt for his account. Even if he couldn't eat the treats it felt nice that Yuu made sure the bag was cute for his Magicam.

“I also made sure to use the most bitter chocolate and Jamil, unknowingly, helped me make the Sriracha paste. Plus the gummies are sour coated.”

“...” Cater stood up and wrapped Yuu into a hug, swinging them around before he placed them down with a wide smile, “I'm going to take a hundred photos and then eat it all at once!” The third-year then zipped off to a different corner of the courtyard, bag and phone in hand as he started to hunt for the perfect lighting.

Yuu smiles, clapping their hands before walking toward the entryway, “Welp. My work here is done. I'll see you boys later tonight for the party. Try not to, like, kill each other before then.”

“No promises.” Riddle and Ace speak in unison, the two redheads glaring at each other once they realize the other had spoken.

Riddle then perks up, quickly standing and following after Yuu to speak to them in private, “Actually. You're going to Octavinelle, correct?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Would you take my and Trey’s chocolates to the twins?”

“HA! No.” Yuu turns, a smile on their face as they move to walk out of the maze.

“I-! Why not!?”

“You have legs?”

Riddle huffed, stomping his foot before crossing his arms, “You know very well that if I hand Floyd his chocolates, he won't unhand me.”

“Fucking suffer. That's your boyfriend.” Yuu waved over their shoulder, smiling wide as they sang out, “Bye~!”

Riddle huffs, watching Yuu rush out of the maze and leaving them to their work. He turns back to the courtyard at the sound of a muted crunch and Ace yelling.

“Motherfucker! Yuu, one of these still had the pit in it!”

~SAVANACLAW~

Savanaclaw was somehow on par with Heartslabyul in terms of people rushing around. Though it seemed less of an organized panic and more so people were sprinting for the fun of it.

Yuu steps farther into the dorm, raising an eyebrow watching a group of students zoom past them. They raise an eyebrow as they touch one of the rock formations and turn heel, sprinting back into the opposite direction.

Ruggie appears, softly glaring at them as he gently elbowed them back toward the mirror, “Ay! No. Noooo. Leona's asleep, you can't be here.” 

“Did all of Savanaclaw join the track team?”

“Don't try to change the subject. I don't know what you did, but Leona's banned you from the dorm whenever he's asleep until further notice. He's paying me a good chunk of change to enforce it. So…” Ruggie bends down, arms locking behind Yuu's knees and lifting them over his shoulder to deposit outside of the dorm.

“How about I bribe you though?”

Ruggie stops, quietly pondering before he asks, “What kind of bribe?”

Yuu holds a bag to the side of his face, the plastic bag tied shut with brown and yellow ribbons. Three chocolate-dipped donuts surrounded by multi-colored mini donut-shaped white chocolates.

The hyena was quick to place them down, snatching the bag from their hand before he spread his arms wide, “My good pal, Yuu! Welcome to our humble dorm!”

“Fucking shameless. Anyway, the sprinting? What the fuck is that about?”

Ruggie hums, opening his bag to pull out one of the donuts, “Oh. It's a bit of a tradition in the Afterglow Savanna. Since it's so hot, chocolate doesn't really last long there. So it’s kinda custom to sprint your chocolate to the object of your affections. But it's also a claiming thing.” He points to the three students sprinting against each other, “Those three found out they're trying to give chocolate to the same person.”

Yuu laughs a bit, raising an eyebrow in question, “What's stopping them from throwing their chocolate at the person so it reaches them first?”

“Don't joke about that. It's stupid but one of them might actually do it. Trust me, I know. Valentine's Day makes everyone kinda stupid.”

“Oh, you're above that Ruginald? Don't feel the need to sprint your chocolate to the love of your life?”

Ruggie smiles, shrugging as he reached for one of the mini donut shapes, “Why would I? No one's dumb enough to try to give Leona chocolate and Leona isn't running anywhere.”

“I see. So you know your prey is cornered.”

“Why are you in the dorm?”

How neither noticed Jack standing a few feet away from them, blotting out the sun, they didn't know. But they simply waved at his stern expression.

“Hi Jack!”

“Hi, Yuu. You're banned from the dorm until further notice.”

Yuu waved him off, opening their tote to grab his bag of chocolate, “Oh it's fine. I bribed Rugward already.”

Jack turned to Ruggie, eyes narrowed as though to say ‘really?’ as he watched the second year pull out another donut, “What?”

Ruggie doesn't wait to have his mouth empty, speaking around the donut, “No idea what they're talking about.”

Yuu laughs at Jack's soured expression, “Don't worry, I have a bribe for you too.”

His expression didn't change, but his perked ears and quick swish of his tail showed how eager he was, “I don't want your bribe…”

They pull out a bag tied close with white and orange ribbons. White chocolate bones filled with pear jam, five mid-sized spheres of milk chocolate and scattered orange chocolate pearls.

Jack's face fully changed, showing his surprise as he held his hand out, “Oh…this is actually pretty nice…”

“What? Did you think I was going around giving people bags of live scorpions?”

Ruggie snorted, “That does sound like something you would do…”

“Rugamillion, where would I find that many scorpions in this weather?”

Jack had already pulled a chocolate bone from the bag, chewing it quietly as his tail wagged from the taste of pear, “That's the only issue you'd have?” He eyed the chocolate spheres with a more critical glance, shaking one lightly, “What's in these?”

“Probably scorpions.”

“Hahaha, fuck you. Those are hot chocolate bombs, but instead of cocoa mix I used that protein powder you keep at Ramshackle.” They smile, shrugging as they slowly elbow past Jack's body, “You can have a warm mug of protein-packed chocolate milk before bed. Get those gains in your sleep.”

Jack knew they were on their way to Leona's room. Sighing as he relented, they'd cause more of a fuss if he and Ruggie tried to remove them, “That's not how that works and you know it.”

“Can't hear you over the sound of me walking up the stairs.”

Ruggie’s snicker was barely audible from the second floor of the dorm. Yuu tipped-toed into Leona's room, quietly closing the door behind them. They walk closer to the bed, trying to not laugh as Leona's tail started to increasingly slap against the bed in an attempt to make them leave. Just as Yuu stood beside the bed, Leona's eyes blinked open drowsily.

It took a few seconds before Leona groans, rolling over and pulling his pillow over his head, “What the fuck do I even pay Ruggie for…?”

“You want like…a list or…?”

Leona groaned loudly, pointing back toward the door, “Get out. You know what you fucking did, get away from me.”

Yuu laughs, sitting on the bed and swatting away the tail hitting against their side angrily, “Aw~. Come on, it wasn't even that bad. Vil helped you get the green food coloring out so all's good right?”

“What the fuck do you want?”

“I brought a gift~!” Yuu pulls out a bag tied by yellow and orange ribbons. The bag was filled with various kinds of chocolates in the shapes of crowns and lion heads, golden pearls scattered inside. They shove the bag against Leona's face cooing as the beastman glares at them, “Happy Valentine's Day you fucking depressed mess.”

Leona glares quietly. But soon he rolls his eyes, snatching the bag away from Yuu's hands, “I should have killed you when I had the chance…”

Yuu grinned, knocking their head against his shoulder, “But ya didn't!”

“Seven, I hope this chocolate kills me…”

“Oh, I'm not that nice to you…but I do have a second gift!” They reach back into their tote, pulling out a purple velvet bag pulled closed by golden drawstrings. They placed it on Leona's lap, smile turning mischievous as he warily eyed it.

Leona picks up the bag, opening it slowly, tail flicking in curiosity. He looked into the bag, only to narrow his eyes at seeing nothing inside. There was clearly a weight, so it wasn't empty. Normally he'd just tilt the bag over to dump out whatever was inside, but this was his bed and Ruggie just washed the sheets. Instead, he reached inside, grunting as all he felt was powder.

He barely noticed Yuu had left the bed, quickly opening the door as he pulled his hand out of the bag. Leona squints his eyes at the gold dust on his fingers, “What the…” He wipes his hands on his pants, only to widen his eyes at the fine streak of gold glitter left behind, “YUU!”

Yuu giggled from her place at the open door, “Enjoy your bag of gold, your majesty!” Their giggle turning into a cackle as they close the door just in time to avoid Leona launching one of his boots at them.

“RUGGIE, WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR!?”

Ruggie huffs from the lounge, raising an eyebrow at Jack, neither of them moving as Yuu sprinted to the mirror, “What, he needs a list or something?”

Jack looked at Ruggie in silence before he pulled another chocolate from his bag, “If he asks, I'm telling him you got bribed.”

“Damn, the betrayal of it all…”

~OCTAVINELLE ~

The lounge was in a quiet period, both Azul and Jade in the back office looking over their weekly reports. While it would be briefly closed for the school-wide Valentine’s party they were going to open their doors again in the later hours. A romantic dinner under the sea was simply too good for any couple to pass up. And while it would cut into their own romantic endeavors, Azul was more than willing to make the sacrifice for the increase in sales.

Azul hums, looking through his papers with a furrowed brow, “Jade, do you have the drink sales? I can't find them.”

“Hm…No. I already reviewed them and sent them off to Sam via Floyd.”

A moment of silence passes in the room before Azul puts his papers down, eyes widening once he realizes the time, “Jade, it's been nearly an hour. He should have been back by now.”

“...” Jade looked up, closing his eyes as he sighed. They were so busy today, he had hoped his brother wouldn't cause trouble due to boredom or frustration that he couldn't see his ‘Goldfish’ until later that night. But it seemed, once again, his wishes had gone unanswered, “Would you like me to find him?”

Sighing, Azul shuffled his papers again. That was a disaster waiting to happen. While FLoyd was more prone to chasing his object of affection around, Jade was no better. As Yuu put it ‘Every brain cell starts to function only to get Trey’s attention’, “No. If he's not back in the next hour though, I'll have to deal with the price of losing your assistance-”

Suddenly the door bursts open, Floyd's wide grin the first thing they see, “I brought Shrimpy~!”

The red and white figure clutching to Floyd's back waves, “He brought me~!”

Jade smiles, moving to one side and giving Floyd a space to drop Yuu unceremoniously onto the couch, “Yuu, what a surprise. I assumed you would use the class-free day to sleep well until the PM.”

Yuu rolls their eyes, opening their tote and looking through it, “Oh trust me. I would be. Instead I'm being nice and running around the dorms to deliver cheer to you over-worked losers.”

Azul tilts his head into his palm, raising an eyebrow, “My pearl. I adore you, truly. But if this is one of your ‘pranks’-”

“Oh, my Seven. I do one thing and now I'm labeled as being a danger the second I wanna do anything!”

Floyd hummed, flopping into the opposite couch as he put his feet onto the coffee table, “I mean you did poison like…two dorms in one day.”

“I didn't directly poison anyone, so it wasn't my fault. Now shut up and take your treats.” Yuu grabbed out three bags, throwing them each at their respective owners, “Repayment isn't necessary, but you boys know I take cash, credit, or life debts.”

Floyd looks down at his bag, teal and light purple ribbons tying it closed. It was just…a big ball. It looked like a basketball, which was kind of cool, but looking at Azul and Jade's bags he couldn't help but pout.

Azul looked flustered at the bag. Tied closed with light purple and white ribbons filled with chocolate truffles shaped at Octopi, white chocolate pearlescent shell shapes and purple pearls scattered throughout.

Jade’s bag had the same ribbons as his, the bag filled with the same white chocolate pearly shells and a mix of milk and Dark chocolate mushroom shapes.

Floyd scowls, glaring at Yuu, “Shrimpy this is sucky. Why did you make my chocolate so lame!?”

Yuu only smiled, holding up their hand and making a squeezing motion that only served to make him angrier. Did they wanna be squeezed? Cause he'll do it. Instead, he looked at the chocolate in his hand, growling as he gripped it tighter. Eyes widening at how easily the chocolate gave under his fingers.

He instead started to giggle, eyes sparkling at seeing the basketball was just a shell and inside were the same pearly chocolate shells and even teal luster-dusted fish.

“Aw~! Shrimpy! This is so cool, how'd you make a chocolate shell like this?”

“You gotta make two halves, then melt them enough that the edges stick together. The hardest part is smoothing it out…”

Floyd hums, opening his bag and looking at the broken shell pieces, “Seems easy. I wanna try it.” He stood, ignoring Azul's stern calls about how he was supposed to be helping with the reports.

Azul scoffs, watching Floyd openly ignore him as he leaves the room, “Great, now he's going to play in the kitchen.” He turns to Yuu, shaking his head and sighing, “I really must find a way to weaponize you. I would send you into rival restaurants and it’d be burned to the ground in a matter of minutes.”

“What if it’s underwater?”

“We both know you’d find a way.”

Yuu laughs, patting their bag, “Keep talking about me like I’m a threat and I won’t give you your second present.”

“Oh?” Azul perks up, folding his hands under his chin and smirking, “First the chocolate and now a second present? If you didn’t owe me money, I’d think you were trying to butter me up for a favor.”

Yuu opens their mouth to reply, only to stop hearing a sniffle beside them. Azul and Yuu turn to the sound, Jade’s face schooled into a frown as he pitifully sniffles and wipes at none existent tears.

“...Jade?”

“Oh. Don’t mind me, the least favorite. You two continue to playfully flirt.”

Azul glares to the side, mumbling under his breath with a blush, “We aren’t flirting.”

Yuu smiled and shook their head, “I knew you’d do some shit like this…”

Jade sniffs again, deepening his frown as he tilts his head back, “So sorry, my tears must be bothering you both. I will try to cry more discreetly. Boo, boohoo.”

While Azul sighed at Jade’s theatrics and Jade increased his theatrics, Yuu reached into their tote and slowly pulled out a large toadstool mushroom. They made Jade hold his hand out palm up before gently placing the mushroom into Jade’s hand.

The Eelmer sniffs again, but brings the mushroom closer to his face to examine, “Hm…A lovely Toadstool sample…I suppose this will-” Jade jumps briefly, feeling the mushroom move of its own accord. He watches transfixed as the mushroom’s stem splits to reveal a small body, the top of the toadstool taking the place of a hat as tiny eyes blink up at him, “Oh!”

Yuu gestures to the fairy now sitting contently in Jade’s hand, “This is Franklin. Answer his three riddles and he will lead you deep into the woods to a mushroom patch you have never seen before.”

Jade smiles, his ‘sadness’ quickly forgotten as he and the fairy stare into each other's eyes, “Amazing. To think I would hold one of you elusive creatures in my hands after years of your tauntings!”

Franklin looks into the Eelmer's eyes mildly fearful, only to relax and perk up when Jade hands him a single mushroom-shaped chocolate. Nibbling it thoughtfully as Jade stands from the couch.

“I shall leave the two of you to your devices. Azul, I believe we were due for a break anyway. So if you'll excuse me, I have terrariums to share and riddles to solve.” Jade left just as quickly as Floyd did. A pep in his step and polite enough to close the door behind him.

Yuu stands, walking to Azul's desk and leaning their hip against it as they tauntingly poked his cheek, “And then there was one.”

Azul huffs, but still reaches his hand to hold Yuu's, his thumb lightly stroking the back of it, “Honestly. You joke they're my bodyguards, but they'd leave me to such a predator as you without a second thought.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“Of course not. You have something of mine don't you?”

“Just because it’s a gift for you doesn’t mean it’s yours the second you know it exists.” But Yuu still hands over a large purple and teal-colored binder. Leaning farther on the desk until they were simply lying on the dark wood, kicking their feet as Azul looked through the binder.

“...” Azul was confused. He had expected something cute and disgustingly sentimental, photos of them or sweet messages of devotion. Instead, the binder started with a stylized page with what he recognized as Yuu’s measurements. Looking through the pages, he only saw photos of clothing, shoes, and accessories of his date-mate's preferred styles. Each photo came with a small tag showing the price and retailer. Flipping through more pages, Azul looks at Yuu over his glasses, “So…How is giving me your wishlist a present to me?”

Yuu smiles, taking a pen from his desk and marking a few hearts on certain photos as he turned the pages, “Well, this is an order guide for you. You buy me things from this handy little book and I’ll wear them for you.”

“Hmm. While I’m content to have an easy guide for the next few gifts I could acquire for you. Again, I ask, how is me buying you clothing a gift to me?”

“Well, I would hope you’d buy me a full outfit, but…” They shrug their shoulders, smiling coyly

Azul raised an eyebrow in question, only to have his expression grow flustered seeing what was on the next page. Lingerie, stockings, all manner of frilly scantily clad things. He brought the binder closer to his face, blue taking over his cheeks the more he turned the pages. 

The binder was slammed closed once he reached the more…risque centered lingerie, eyes staring wide at the siren draping themselves across his desk, “...Oh…” He looks at the closed binder on his desk then back to Yuu. Soon he matches their teasing expression, leaning forward to brush their lips against each other, “I'll think about it~.”

The kiss they shared was quick, if only because Azul pulled away to push his chair back from the desk. He pats his thighs, eyes commanding Yuu to sit in his lap. And they do so easily, cuddling into his hold as they straddle him.

“Happy Valentine's Day, Azul~.”

“Happy Valentine's Day, my pearl. I will admit, this is a splendid way to spend my break.” He nuzzles into Yuu's shoulder, kissing along their neck softly as his hands start to wander. Letting out a whine when Yuu stops his hands and pulls away.

Yuu smiles at Azul's disgruntled expression, “Well?”

“...Well, what?”

“I gave you two presents. You gotta give me something if you wanna make out.”

Azul growls, pulling Yuu closer to bring them in for another kiss, growing more frustrated when the magicless mage leans away from his lips. Realizing with their current position he wasn't getting any more kisses unless Yuu leaned back toward him. 

He sighs, reaching to open one of his desk drawers, “I'm not giving you my present until the exchange. You can live with being patient. But, my mother sent you a Valentine’s gift so I will give that instead.”

Yuu knew it was the right call to send chocolate to “Mama Grotto”. They just hoped that it'd survive and taste just as good in the sea.

Azul pulls out a flatl wrapped box, offering it to Yuu, “She kept insisting that I tell you I purchased it for you. I couldn't fathom why; you and my mother are on frighteningly good terms…”

Yuu opens the box, gazing curiously as they pull out a simple oyster. With the help of a letter opener and Azul's practiced hands, the oyster was opened to reveal a perfectly rounded teal pearl. Yuu gasps, eyes glittering at the small gem, “OH~! It's so pretty! I love it!”

Smiling, Azul rests a hand against his cheek, the other securely gripping Yuu's hip, “I'm glad. If you may, leave it here. I'll get it fashioned into a necklace for you.” He pushed up his glasses, mumbling under his breath as Yuu poked at the pearl, “Why would my mother insist this was a present from me…?” “Oh! Azul.” Yuu smiled, just on the edge of hysteria as they struggled to speak through their laughter. They had pulled the pearl out of its fleshy cushion, revealing the fact the pearl was already fashioned to be a very obvious engagement ring.

[livingdreams97]

Tara Carpenter -- "The lies I keep" (Part 1)

Tara Carpenter x Male reader/oc

Summary: Having a normal life is difficult after the one she considered her best friend tries to kill her and causes distrust in everyone she meets. But something or rather someone manages to enter her heart and hiding that person is the best thing that occurs to her.

Words: 3.333

Masterlist

(If you haven't seen Scream VI yet, don't read this because it contains spoilers or read it, but at your own risk.)

POV You

New York has always been my home, my safe place. The hustle and bustle of the streets during the day and the background noise 24/7 relax me in a strange way. Born and raised on the Upper East Side, in Manhattan, and I know the city like the back of my hand.

My life felt like the one in the movies, when the protagonists explore and live every part of New York. Sometimes I even feel like I live inside the Gossip Girl series and that everything is perfect.

But let's face it, nothing is perfect and happiness is not eternal.

Yes, I live in a 300 square meter duplex and also, in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in all of New York. But what is the use of having such a big house, when your parents are never home and you are an only child.

Because one thing is clear and that is that to live where I do, you have to have money and a lot of it. But for my parents that has never been a problem.

Both my mother and father come from wealthy families, but other than that; my father is one of the best surgeons in the entire state and my mother has her own law firm. So the two generate a good sum of money.

But that also means one thing: travel. My parents have spent their lives traveling from one part of the state to another, either because the clients are very important or because of some kind of congress or some of those things.

But in their defense I have to say that they always call me to find out how I am, they are interested and concerned about me. In addition to the fact that when they are at home, they usually try to spend as much time as possible with me and try to be there for me.

And now that I'm in college, I'm officially living alone. My parents thought that I would like to have my own apartment and decided to buy me a flat for my birthday. Of course, it is a ten minute walk from where they lived and thus be close in case I need anything.

Although first they would have to be at home to help me, but I don't object since they let me choose the floor and the decoration.

XX: Hey .- I hear someone greet me, taking me out of my thoughts and returning me to reality.

I turn my head to the right, meeting the person who greeted me and I can't help but smile at his presence.

Y/n: Hello.- I greet with a huge smile full of emotion, causing the other person to laugh and sit next to me in class.

XX: What makes you so happy? - she asks me funny leaving her bag on the table.

Y/n: My girlfriend.- I answer shrugging my shoulders.

XX: Oh yes? - she asks me with too much interest and I nod. -And do I know her?- she asks resting her elbow on the table and her chin in the palm of her hand watching me.

Y/n: I don't know, maybe.- I answer with a grimace imitating her posture. -She has almost black dark brown hair, she has brown eyes, she is super intelligent, she has the most beautiful smile in the world and she is 1.55 cm tall. Do you know her? - I ask her funny.

XX: I'm not sure.- she says with a thoughtful face. -The description seems familiar to me, but I don't fall for it.- she denies with false disappointment.

Y/n: What a pity, because I was thinking of inviting her to eat and to see a movie, but I haven't seen her so nothing.- I comment letting out a fake sad sigh.

XX: Well, invite me then.- she suggests with an amused smile.

Y/n: I'm sorry Carpenter, but I'm a faithful man.- I shake my head, holding back my laughter and looking away.

Tara: Idiot.- she slaps me gently on the shoulder, letting out a laugh and causing me to do it too.

Y/n: But you like me that way.- I assure her with a smile, placing a lock of hair behind her ear and caressing her cheek affectionately.

Tara: Unfortunately.- she whispers frustrated rolling her eyes.

Y/n: Hey! - I exclaim offended, sitting upright in my chair and looking at her with crossed arms.

Tara: Just kidding.- she laughs hugging my neck and getting me closer to her. -I like you very, very, very much.- she assures me a few centimeters from my face.

Y/n: I don't know, I´m not sure.- I say with narrowed eyes. -You don't convince me.- I deny holding the smile that struggles to come to light.

Tara: And what can I do to convince you? - she asks a few centimeters from my lips and with an intense look.

Y/n: Food and a movie? - I ask appreciating her face in detail, or how little I can see with her closeness. -They have premiered a quite passable comedy.- I warn her with a slight smile, knowing that because of her past, the scary ones are a resounding NO and I understand it perfectly.

Tara: I can't.- she denies with a slight grimace and my smile disappears. - Mindy wants to try a new restaurant and if I disappear for a whole afternoon Sam would go crazy.- she explains and I nod.

Y/n: Maybe another day .- I sigh a little sadly, since we don't usually have many opportunities to spend time together and the truth is that I wanted to spend some time with her.

Tara: I promise you that this week we'll go eat together, okay? - she tells me and I nod again. -Thank you for understanding.- she whispers affectionately, before joining our lips and moving them slowly.

The kiss doesn't last long, as the teacher enters the class and everyone sits in their places. As the teacher explains today's material, I can't help but tune out what he says and think about my relationship.

I met Tara on the first day of class six months ago, when I was late because of traffic and the only free seat was next to her.

In the beginning, she always kept quiet and never spoke to me unless it was strictly necessary. But in the third week, they asked us to do a job in pairs and because we were sitting next to each other we had to do the work together.

In addition to the fact that she did not have many other options, since if she spoke to me only what was necessary, she had not even told her name to the rest of the class. So really I was her only option to do the job with.

During the first days when we did the work, Tara always kept a certain distance and limited herself to only talking about the work. At no time did she show interest in me as a person and in getting to know me.

So to avoid making her uncomfortable, I never asked her anything personal or anything that wasn't about work. And clearly, i didn´t tell her anything about myself either.

But at some point during the job, she began to feel more comfortable and became a little closer. She even came to ask me about my life and has told me some things about hers.

Two weeks later, though, Tara would admit to me that she had lied to me about a few things, like that she wasn't really from Michigan but from Woodsboro and that the scar on her hand didn't come from a kitchen accident, but that someone had attacked her disguised as Ghostface half a year ago or so.

At first I was surprised by her story and she apologized for lying to me, but she didn't feel safe to tell me the truth until that moment. I understood, since it doesn't have to be pleasant to live that experience and have someone as close as your best friend try to kill you.

That makes anyone distrust all the people they know and those they will meet at some point in their life.

So I didn't give it any importance and I didn't ask her any questions on the subject. Mostly because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or stop talking to me forever.

From the first moment I thought that Tara was a very pretty girl, but with time and getting to know her a bit more, I cannot deny that certain feelings began to surface.

So I didn't want her to freak out over some stupid question i did and decided I wasn't to be trusted or something like that and then stop talking to me.

Although the unthinkable happened two weeks later, when we said goodbye after class I went to kiss her on the cheek and she accidentally moved, causing me to kiss her on the lips.

We were both shocked and embarrassed at the moment, but she just asked me if I would be interested in a coffee one day and a week later we were a couple.

Couple now of four and a half months more or less. And even though I couldn't be happier and feel like the luckiest man in my life, to have the most wonderful woman in the world as my girlfriend. Not everything is so perfect and happy.

It took a while for Tara to be completely alone and vulnerable with me. Which I understood perfectly and always let her decide the place of our dates.

On the other hand, it is also the fact that nobody knows that we are together or even that we are friends. I'm lying. No one of her friends and sister know that we are a couple or that we even know each other.

At first, the privacy of our relationship was understandable, since as I said before, because of her past it was difficult for her to trust people and something similar happened to her friends. But her sister was somewhat more possessive or at least that's what my girlfriend always tells me.

When I've asked her why we still keep our relationship or even friendship a secret, the answer is always the same: Sam. 

She says that she is very overprotective and that she is always trying to control her. Besides, she doesn't trust new people, let alone love interests, since her ex-boyfriend was one of the murderers last year.

So her sister Sam's reason was quite understandable from my point of view, since at the end of the day all she wants is to protect her sister and make sure she's safe .

But that means that the time I spend with Tara, my girlfriend, is very limited and seems to always be timed.

I'm never going to complain about it, but it's hard for me to see couples making plans and spending time together, when I can't spend more than half an hour with my own girlfriend without someone texting her to find out where she is or if she is safe.

Every time I propose a plan, whether it's to eat something after classes, go for a walk or go to a cafeteria for a coffee, most of the time the answer is negative.

I don't even know how many times she has canceled me and promised to do the plan another day. At first I kept count unconsciously and tried to take her word for it. But over time I have stopped doing it.

It's sad and painful to tell the truth, especially when my friends; who do know that I have a girlfriend, ask me about her and about  when they will meet her and stuff like that.

But I really like Tara and although this situation hurts me at times, she is worth it.

And who knows, maybe at some point she will get encouraged and introduce me to her friends as her boyfriend, or like a friend at least.

POV Tara

I leave my last class of the day, kissing my boyfriend goodbye and walking to where I know my friends are waiting for me.

I can't help but feel bad for rejecting Y/n's plan, because it's not the first time I've done it and I'm sure it won't be the last. I feel guilty for not giving him the time he deserves and even more so seeing how thoughtful he's been during class.

Y/n is the perfect guy and I don't understand how lucky I've been to meet him. He is attentive, calm, a bit of an idiot; but in a good way, he is affectionate, funny, he gives me my space and always respects my limits.

He didn't even get angry when I admitted that I had lied to him about most of the things I told him about myself, and he didn't stop treating me differently when he found out the truth.

He continued to treat me in the same respectful and kind way he had done since the day we met. And I think that was one of the things that made me fall in love with him.

But lately I'm being the worst girlfriend in the world. Between working on other subjects, my friends who have been too present in my plans lately, and my sister who doesn't let me breathe, I don't have a free moment to be with him.

Because let's face it, there would be nothing I would want more than to go eat something with him and then cuddle against him watching a movie. Because he doesn't remind me of Woodsboro, doesn't overprotect me or control me like I'm going to get jumped at any moment. He treats me like a normal person without a traumatic past and i love that.

With him I feel calm, I feel happy and normal. With him I'm just Tara Carpenter the girl he likes, not Tara Carpenter the survivor of Ghostface, the Tara who was betrayed by her own best friend and tried to kill her three times. And that's another reason why I adore him.

Mindy: There 's my girl!- she exclaims when she sees me nearby.

Anika: Hey! - she claims, slapping her on the arm. -I'm your girl.- she reminds her with an amused smile.

Mindy: Don't worry babe, there's Mindy for everyone.- she assures her with a smile, putting her arm around her shoulders and bringing her closer to her body.

Chad: Besides, Tara's my girl.- he says jokingly, putting his arm around my shoulders and winking at me.

Ethan: Are you guys together?- He asks pointing at Chad and me with confusion and something else that I can't make out in his eyes.

Mindy: He wish.- she laughs at the question and the rest except Ethan and Chad laugh.

Quinn: Tara is a too much of a woman for Chad.- My roommate supports my best friend and they high five.

Chad: Hey! - He exclaims offended and I come out from under his shoulder.

Tara: And if it's not clear, no Ethan, we're not together.- I reply to the shy boy laughing with my friends.

Ethan: Oh, like .. you , you know.- he says nervously, pointing to where his roommate is and where I had been a few moments ago.

Tara: Well no.- I answer with a friendly smile. -And … Are we leaving or not?- I ask wanting to change the subject.

Mindy : Yessss .- she answers with her arms in the air. -I've heard that it's one of the best Mexicans in all of New York and that its tacos are to die for.- she tells us excitedly, starting to walk and heading towards the restaurant she's been talking about for days.

Chad: Changing the subject completely - he starts while we're walking as a group. -Tomorrow is Friday and Halloween .- he hums happily.

Tara: I doubt that Sam will let me out no matter how much it's Halloween or Christmas. - I deny crossing my arms, angry with my sister and her way of controlling everything I do.

Chad: Oh come on Carpenter, are you not going to your first college Halloween party because your sister forbids you? - he asks me with a false pout.

Anika: Chad, leave her alone.- she tells her girlfriend's brother in my defense.

Chad: It's our time to enjoy.- he assures us with a huge smile. -Fuck Sam and let's enjoy that we're still alive! - he exclaims trying to convince us.

Mindy: I keep wondering how come your brain hasn't had a short circuit with all the nonsense you say.- she tells her brother with a frown and a little amusement .

Chad: Because I'm right and you know it.- He points at her with a contagious smile.

As the brothers start poking each other, I'm left thinking and Chad has a point. I've been in New York for six months and I haven't been to any college party or event other than classes because of Sam.

That is to say, I can't even arrive home more than an hour late after class, because if I arrive a little later, my cell phone is already burning and organizing a search team.

My boyfriend hasn't even been to my apartment, because my sister would go crazy that I have a close friend and even more if she finds out he's my boyfriend. I mean, there's a reason I haven't told Sam that I have a boyfriend.

Tara: As much as it pains me to say it, Chad is right.- I interrupt the twins, causing everyone's attention to be on me and some to look at me in surprise.

Chad: What did you say? - he asks me with an amused smile, placing his hand next to his ear and bringing him closer to me .

Tara: You're right.- I growled amused. -Sam has her psychologist on Fridays, so she won't be home to know if I'm going out or not.- I commented with a look full of security.

Chad: Yes ! - he exclaims happily punching the air. -Party? - he asks me with a smile full of emotion.

Tara: Party.- i agree with a smile.

Mindy : Sounds good to me.- she nods, shrugging her shoulders and starts to talk about costumes.

As we all start talking about costume ideas and tomorrow's plan. Quinn tells us that she can't go, since she has a date with a guy from tinder and knowing her, I know well not to be home tomorrow.

While Chad tells us about the parties that there will be and the different fraternities that give them, I secretly take out my cell phone and look for a contact in my messages.

I find the contact immediately, entering the chat and letting Y/n know about my plans for tomorrow.

The answer is not long in coming and the smile on my face increases in size unconsciously. He tells me that his friends are also going to the same party and that he had no intention of going out. But now that he knows I'm going out, he assures me that he will find a costume and that he will see me at the party tomorrow without fail.

I couldn't be more excited right now. Tomorrow I'm going out with my party friends, without Sam and her excessive control. I will see my boyfriend and I plan to take advantage of a moment of inattention on the part of my friends, to spend time with him and enjoy the party by his side.

And who knows. Maybe after the party, I can sneak him into my apartment and do what I've been wanting to do for a while now.

NEXT

[bugs1nmybrain]

L Lawliet Relationship Headcanons

Meeting Him 

 You met in the cafeteria of your college. He was there to snoop around on someone he was investigating but decided to take a break and get some sweets

 He notices you because you're the only one sitting by yourself. And oh dear, oh my, there's nowhere else to sit! (How convenient)

 You're a bit taken aback when he sits down in front of you. Here's this dude with messy hair and dark circles around his eyes, sitting in a particularly odd position before you. You aren't sure what to think. He didn't even ask if he could sit there. 

 You took note of his cake in front of him, and how he held his fork with his thumb and pointer finger instead of the typical way.

 He had a cup of tea as well. He reached over to the middle compartment of the table where there was sugar/salt/pepper/jelly, and the like. And you see him take about 6 sugar packets and dump every single one into his tea. 

 All you could think was, "what in the ever-loving fuck?????"

 BUT, despite how odd this person seemed, you found his quirks a little cute and endearing

 "Are you bothered by me sitting here?" He asks, noticing your demeanor toward him 

 You didn't realize how rude you were being by staring at him

 "No! I was just a little startled that someone sat here."

 "I can move."

 "Don't worry about it."

A few moments of silence go on between you two

You decide to break the silence and get to know this strange stranger 

"So, what's your name? I haven't seen you around before" 

"Hideki Ryuga. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. And your name?"

"Y/N"

Establishing a Relationship

After meeting each other for the first time, you continued bumping into each other at school

You try to get to know him more. You ask what his major is. He lies to cover his image and tells you "Criminal Justice."

You both took quite an interest in each other. At first, you weren’t sure why you were attracted to this odd man, but it was simple. He was different, intelligent, (sort of) polite, and unintentionally funny. There was no one else at your school who was like him. However, you questioned if he’d ever like you

As for him, it took him a few meetings with you to figure out if he liked you or not. He initially admired your appearance; the way you did your hair, the way you dressed, and your facial features. However, L naturally distrusts people, so it took him a bit to become mentally attracted to you as well.

He bombarded you with questions about yourself, particularly about your trustworthiness and intelligence. He asked what your major was, how well you did on your assignments, what your relationships were like with those around you, what you thought about current events in the world, and, of course, what your favorite sweets were. 

Once he was able to deduce that you were a well-intentioned person, that’s when he recognized he felt a little different toward you than he did with other people

While he was well-behaved around you for the most part, he found himself becoming a bit fixated when you hung out. He intensely observed your mannerisms. He would stare at you with his buggy eyes with a finger pressed to his lips, which admittedly freaked you out a little, but you got used to it and just assumed that was how he was. Little did you know, he did this out of complete admiration for you.

L is a decently motivated person, so he made the first move soon after he decided he liked you. He’s not a fool; he could easily tell that you liked him just as much as he liked you by the way you reacted around him. 

He gives it to you straight when he approaches you

“Y/N, is it safe to assume that you’re romantically interested in me?”

You blushed immediately at his question and it took you a bit to scramble up a response. A smile crept on your lips. Just by this alone, he could tell he was correct.

“Yes, Ryuga.”

He gets close to your face and softens his gaze (as much as L can, he's pretty expressionless) 

"That's good, because I like you as well." 

There's an awkward moment between you two where nothing is said 

"Y/N?"

"What is it Ryuga?"

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?" 

Instant happiness fills your soul as you're mentally processing the fact that this guy feels the same way about you as you did of him. You honestly thought he wasn't interested in being romantic. Now he was asking you to be his girlfriend

With a vigorous nod, you respond, "I'd love that."

You barely knew anything about L before dating him, and that included his name 

It takes him a while, maybe even several weeks or months to tell you that his name wasn't Hideki Ryuga 

He approaches it very casually despite it being a not-so-casual discussion

"Y/N, I have something I would like to share with you."

"What is it?"

"This information may come as a surprise to you, please try your best to process it. My name is not Hideki Ryuga, and I am not a student at (Your School's Name). I am the detective known as L."

At first, you don't believe it. You think it's a joke. 

But rest assured he's telling the truth

Admittedly you feel a bit betrayed. How could he trick you like this? But your rational thinking quickly realized that someone so renowned would have to conceal their identity, even around people they liked

It takes him even longer to reveal his full name to you. He explains that this isn't out of malice. He simply cannot risk his identity being shared by anyone. After more time and assurance that you'd keep it under wraps, he tells you his name; L Lawliet.

Relationship Headcanons

After he reveals his occupation to you, you find yourself spending time with him more. You worked on homework as he did his detective work, and he'd bring you along with him to wherever he traveled for his career, under the condition that you'd use a false identity

His love language is sharing sweets haha. He’ll share his treats with you all the time and sometimes gifts you with them

If you ever by chance decide to make him some homemade sweets, he will cherish you forever

When he isn’t terribly busy, he’ll take you on dates. They’re surprisingly a lot of fun. His favorite place to take you is to amusement parks. He loves rollercoasters (but he doesn’t even flinch at them, so you’d never be able to tell) ((this is canon according to L File.15)). He’d also probably take you bowling or something. Random little activities. 

He isn’t a big fan of PDA, but he’ll agree to hold hands if there aren’t too many people around

He won’t cuddle or sleep with you very often because this guy can go several days without sleeping, but in turn, after those days he’ll crash for about 17 hours ((also canon in the L File.15)). This is the only time you’ll get so use it wisely. 

Sometimes he’s too busy to even remember he’s in a relationship with you. He’s just so focused on his cases that he doesn’t allow an outside life to take precedence over them. Don’t take it personally.

Before you, he wasn’t with anybody before. He’s new to this whole love stuff. Just the fact that he took a liking to you is saying a lot. Be patient with him. There are things he’s not going to understand immediately.

Isn’t very good at consoling your feelings if you’re not feeling happy. He’ll try to reason with you and encourage you to analyze your feelings and rationalize them. He’ll try to cheer you up with cake. This isn’t exactly nurturing, but it’s his way of telling you he cares. 

This is going to sound sketchy, but he will occasionally lie to you to see if he can evoke a certain reaction or response from you. Especially during arguments. He’ll usually reveal the truth later, but this still pisses you off. 

While you’re his significant other, it sometimes feels like you act more as a friend or even an acquaintance. 

You have to have quite a bit of patience to be with him.

On a positive note, L really enjoys being around you and wants to be your boyfriend to the best of his abilities 

Introduces you to Watari, who’s mainly just happy L has found something that he’s interested in besides a case 

Though one could argue that you are a case for him

Flirts with you in subtle ways, typically by dry humor pick up lines that baffle you.

L can seem a little condescending at times. There’s a small chance that you’re anywhere close to as smart as he is, so sometimes it’s hard for you to catch up to him. He can be a little annoyed by this, but he does understand and tries to be easy on you.

He will help you with your homework if you ask, but he’ll try to help you find the answers yourself rather than completely hand them over to you

He likes to keep tabs on you. He cares more than he expresses to you. He wants to know what you’re up to in your life and will call or text you pretty often to check in

This may seem a little yandere of him, but if you’re in his headquarters he’ll keep an eye on the cameras you’re around to see what you’re doing. 

You guys agreed that he could set a tracking device on your phone in case of emergencies.

(But sometimes he checks it even when it’s not an emergency. He’s nosy)

Again, he’s great when it comes to dates. He’ll take you out for ice cream or to get coffee. Sometimes even a walk around a city (expect to get stares. He’s a little odd looking to most people).

In terms of the five love languages, he’s good at some and not so good with others

Words of Affirmation: He’s not very good at cheering you up when you’re insecure, but he will actively compliment you when he likes something that you do or likes how you look. He’s not shy about it. “You look especially beautiful today.” “That’s quite excellent of you.” 

Acts of service: He’s not exactly considerate and he’s used to having chores and errands done for him by Watari. He’s not going to do a lot out of an open will.

Gifts: This is something he’s very good with. Honestly, it’s one of the only ways he knows how to show love. It’s no secret that he’s financially equipped, so he’ll spoil you sometimes if you guys are at a shopping mall or the like.

Quality Time: He struggles with this because he’s always so focused on his work. If you want, you’re totally welcome to be in his general vicinity while he works as long as you don’t distract him. As mentioned before, he’ll take you on dates, but they don’t happen all the time. 

Physical Touch: It takes him a while to get comfortable with hugs and kisses, but from the start, he likes to stand close to you and sometimes he’ll sneak up behind you when you’re doing homework and place a hand on your shoulder. When he does get comfortable with hugging he’s light and brief with them, but he’s surprisingly warm. 

When he kisses you for the first time he only plants a small peck. He doesn’t know what on earth he’s doing or how to execute it. You’ll probably have to initiate it.

Once he learns the ropes a little more, he’s actually a very good kisser. I mean, he can tie cherry stems with his tongue. That says enough. 

He likes it when you dress nice. He doesn’t dress well himself, but he enjoys seeing you in cute clothing; dresses, skirts, or if you’re not into that, whatever you define as pretty. Be total eye candy for him and he’ll stare at you like a creep.

L won’t realize he loves you for a long time. Your relationship doesn’t start out as love. He knew he liked you more than the average person, which is a lot. His definition of love isn’t conventional either. He’s not going to sweep you off your feet and he won’t even say out loud that he loves you. He isn’t head over heels for you and he doesn’t consider you his other half. He just knows he wants to spend his free time talking to you and being around your presence. When he looks at you, he feels a sense of comfort that he doesn’t feel from anything else. In his own way, he does love you. Just not in the way other people would express it. 

[toastandjamie]

Been thinking about Mat Cauthon again, not an abnormal occurrence, but here’s an essay about him.

I have to cut this up because of the word limit, so here’s part 1

Part 1: How To Traumatize Your Comedic Relief

So like, Mat’s paranoia and trust issues stem entirely from the events of the first book regarding the Shadar Logoth dagger. But like- I wanna talk meta about Mat’s story and the concepts of loss of innocence, the evils of man, and fear of being powerless and how that relates to his character arc and relationships in the story. So let’s put aside the lore explanation of “evil dagger doing evil dagger things”

So when we first meet not just Mat, but all three Ta’veren boys there’s this element of childlike innocence to them. Despite the fact that all three are eighteen at the start of the series, Emmonds Field is so isolated, safe and peaceful that the boys are actively noted as being exceptionally naive to the outside world. They’re practically toddlers being left alone in a grocery store when they get separated from the actual experienced adults. This is a feature not a bug mind you, when it comes to having protagonists to introduce a world to an audience with. Not to mention that sets up all of the Emmonds Fields kids(this is specifically barring Nynaeve) to have a “Loss of Innocence” character arc, and they all do, but what’s interesting is how each character handles this loss and how long it takes for them to accept this reality. Mat is actually the first of them to really experience the effects of this loss of innocence, due to previously mentioned dagger problems, but let’s ignore the curse and talk about what exactly happened in Shadar Logoth that shook Mat’s worldview so badly. Mat does not start the story as the cynical and sarcastic character we all know and love, he’s introduced to us as being genuinely kindhearted and trusting, like I know it’s easy to forget given EVERYTHING Mat does in the later books, but of the three Ta’veren boys he’s the one who trusts Morraine the most in the beginning. He doesn’t question her motives nor does he seem to have any innate hostility towards her being Aes Sedai like Rand does(though his hostility stems from a place of jealousy and protectiveness of Egwene rather than genuine prejudice). The same goes for Thom as well, Mat doesn’t know anything about this person but he trusts these seemingly well intentioned adults intrinsically. The only person Mat seems to even have the slightest hesitation about is Lan and that’s solely because he’s aloof and doesn’t show much emotion, something that Mat finds extremely off-putting as the type of person who always has Big Feelings, and takes a lot of self esteem in his ability to make others laugh. This makes sense, because at this point they’ve not encountered any darkfriends(that they knew of) so currently the only Evil they encountered has been literal shadowspawn monsters. The Emmonds Field kids have never met a person who had genuinely bad intentions, I’ll-tempered like Cenn Buie, or a bit disreputable like the Coplins and Congars but even these people were at their cores Good People. So why WOULD they distrust these people who say they have their best interests at heart. That’s when we get to Shadar Logoth, and Mat as the ADHD icon he is, immediately gets bored and wants to explore the abandoned city. Rand and Perrin, as the two more mature ones both rightfully call this a bad idea since they were told NOT to go exploring by themselves, but Mat only heard “Trolloks can’t come in here so it’s safe” and nothing else so he decides to go anyways. Rand and Perrin tag along mostly to make sure Mat doesn’t get hurt. And who do they meet except the most suspicious man ever who lures them into his white van- I mean treasure room with the promise of candy-I mean treasure. These boys have never heard of stranger danger in there lives and automatically trust this random man who lurks in alleyways. And wouldn’t you know it, but this guy was not trustworthy at all and tries to kill them resulting in the group getting separated.

Here’s the thing, this is the first time in Mat’s life that he’s ever experienced true man made evil. This wasn’t the dark ones doing, Mordreth was just a guy who had genuinely malicious intentions and took advantage of Mat and his friends. This alone is enough to make him cautious but then throughout their entire road trip to Camlyn they are constantly ambushed by dark friends, in fact after Whitebridge they don’t get any direct encounters with Shadowspawn, they see a few myrrdraal hunting them but they avoid them pretty easily, it’s the People that consistently hurt them; and they are EVERYWHERE. Darkfriends are practically popping up at every street corner and they could be literally anyone. Mat tells Rand at one point that he feels like everyone is out to get them and Rand assures him that not everyone is a darkfriend, but at the same time, I can SEE why Mat would come to that conclusion. I mean is it really paranoia if they actually are out to get you? It wasn’t even just darkfriends, which makes it’s objectively worse, throughout their road-trip May and Rand are constantly met with people who are selfish, greedy, rude and sometimes even outright cruel and a lot of them weren’t darkfriends. They interact with Whitecloaks who are supposed to be righteous and good but are just bullies in shiny armor and carrying around swords. They interact with merchants on the road who take active pleasure in nearly taking out Rand’s eye with whip because the two of them walked a little too close to a cart. An innkeeper who purposefully locked them in a small storage closet so that he could rob them in the middle of the night. Rand remains optimistic but by the time they reach Camlyn Mat had become completely pessimistic and despondent. He didn’t trust anyone, he believed wholeheartedly that everyone wanted to hurt him, everyone except of course Rand.

[entomolog-t]

Bite Me - Chapter 5

Flirting or Frightening? You be the judge. June and Aedes seem to be getting rather *cough* well acquainted with one another.

This chapter is a bit frisky, nothing overly explicit, a little more intimate than PG 13, but not quite NSFW.

Taglist: @smallsday @ratcatcher0325 @not-a-space-alien @bittykimmy13 @naive-bias

- - - -

Previous Chapter: Chapter 4

Next Chapter: Chapter 6

Word count: 1451

CW: Mentions of blood, Adult language, Suggestive, Fearplay, Mouthplay (biting) mild dehumanization (aware Aedes is not human, fixated on that concept)

The feeling of his heart beating wildly under her thumb was intoxicating. There was no other world that could aptly describe it. In her grasp was a man- or more accurately, a vampire- regardless of semantics, June was all too aware held an entire being within her hand. She felt drunk. This was all so surreal… surreal and undeniably intimate. Was this okay? He was actually letting her hold him… after all the fear and anger and distrust… there he was… just… in her hand. She should exercise some restraint shouldn't she? This… was enough? But what exactly was this?? Despite quite literally having him in the palm of her hand, with the way he was teasing her there was a strange unease that still hovered around the corners of her mind, as if she was the one wrapped around his finger. 

His voice captivated her. She felt as though she hung off of every word. Have you planned what you’re going to do now that you’ve caught me? His surprisingly low voice seemed to echo in her mind. You say that, she thinks, yet why does it feel like I’m the one who’s caught? 

That was an invitation right? He was goading her… wasn’t he?

Not one to be out done, she tightens her grip slightly, 

"I seem to recall something about testing your structural integrity…" she muses, watching the man stiffen at her touch, yet soften at her words, "Why don't I test just how sturdy you are, little man." she says, her voice full of coy flirtation. 

She watches his expression change, eyes glued on him and taking in every detail. He swallows, eyes wide and fixated on her. Her heart skips as she watches his strange pointed ears flicker- it was bizarre, yet oddly adorable. He fidgeted in her grasp though his movements weren’t frenzied like when she had first caught him, more so… uncomfortable, nervous? She for one, most certainly was. 

She liked this. 

She liked this far too much.

Now that he wasn’t snarling, she couldn't help but notice just how striking he was. Those strange long pointed ears peeking out from a tousled mess of velvety black hair- his features sharp and chiseled, looking as though they were carved from marble on his pale skin. The sight of him disheveled in the palm of her hand gave a whole new and literal meaning to having man under her thumb and she found herself indulging in the literal interpretation far more than she ought to. 

Was this really okay? He had been so scared -

He tilts his head at her scrutiny, a faint smirk plays on his lips. In a jarringly casual manner, he stretches his arms back, resting his hands behind his head as if making himself comfortable. His stare was smug, cocky even, as he feigned a yawn. His teasing bordered on challenging, as if playing a strange and far too flirtatious game of chicken... Taunting her as if he knew she was enjoying his reactions more than she wanted to admit. 

“Oh,” His eyes meet hers unflinchingly, “So you’re just gonna toy with me now, huh? Well, come on. I’m all yours.”

She breaks eye contact.

Oh he knew all right.

This absolutely was a challenge- and she had no plans of backing down.

"Am I toying with you?" She coos, choosing her words carefully, "I do like to play rough with my toys." She watches in rapt delight as his ears flatten. Slowly, she slides her fingers under his arms, holding him up by his underarms and letting his feet dangle.

His face flushes.

June felt like a shark sensing blood in the water. She bites her lip. The sight of a full grown -albeit very small- man dangling from her hands is oddly enticing. He was quiet for a moment, the brief pause felt like it was gripping at her heart, Had she gone too far? This was wrong wasn’t it? He was sc - 

“Well then, play with me, my human.”

That smug little tease! She nearly growls at the excitement his invitation seems to bring forth, for a brief moment chasing away all of her lingering doubts. He likes this too…  

June gives in. 

Surprising even herself, she pulls him towards her, pressing her lips against his stomach. Her mind was alight, thoughts coming and going like fireworks- loud and quick. She kissed him- She was still kissing him! He flinches at the sudden action, a strangled sort of gasp escaping him, but doesnt push her away. His body was warm against her fingers- and firm against her lips. It was all so strange… She can't help but notice just how much of his body her lips can cover, or the feeling of his heart beating wildly against them. Was this really okay? He was a stranger… Hell- He wasn’t even human! He had snuck into her house- Drank her blood! And here she was just- 

Her thoughts freeze as her gaze flicks up to his face. 

Jaw clenched and head thrown back, his hands gripping firmly on her thumbs- the sight was mesmerizing. She watches, her eyes fixated on the shaky rise and fall of his chest as her lips graze his midsection- the way he shivered under her touch was thrilling… But it was his face that truly captivated her. He stared at her through half lidded eyes, gaze piercing in its intensity. A subtly flush danced across the pale skin of his cheeks, rising up to the tips of his ears- ears which folded back with her kisses. His lips twitched with every touch, drawing up as if he was wanting to bare his teeth, the faintest hint of a snarl playing across his expression. In that moment, he looked not only carnal- but truly carnivorous. 

June releases a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. It was all so much. 

She inhales, struggling to regain her composure. Instead she catches his scent lingering on her inhale. Amberesque and nectarous, he smelt of lush fruit and warm spice- of saffron and tonka. He smelt of temptation- of the warm excitement of youth. 

June swallowed. A strange mix of desire and unease sending a chill through her. 

Humans did not smell like that. 

She wills her hands steady as she kisses him, her actions somehow becoming more desperate. The hazy infatuation seemed to give way to a brief moment of clarity. She was far in over her head in something beyond her understanding. She didn’t feel in control. He was there, in her grasp, pressed against her lips… and yet she felt as if he had her in the palm of his hand. Her heart felt as though it crawled into her throat. She didn’t like that she was scared. She didn’t like that he could frighten her. 

As she kisses, his claws dig into the flesh of her thumbs. Claws… her mind echos, Not human. She brushes the thought aside, and adjusts her hold of him, pulling one hand away to take his wrists between her thumb and forefinger. She pulls his wrists above his head, cradling his body with her free hand so he's laying in her palm; restrained and vulnerable.

June shivers-the sight of the pose undeniably lewd. 

The sound of his breathing growing heavy makes her head spin- every gasp, every hitch of his breath…intoxicating didn't even begin to describe it. Between kisses she grins at the sensation of him squirming under the touch of her lips. What could he possibly be feeling? Was he scared? Part of her found herself hoping he was. She pushed that thought aside as quickly as it came. Through half lidded eyes, she risks another glance at him- her breath catching as he met her gaze. He seemed to like that, exhaling through gritted teeth- the sound hovering between a moan and a growl. 

His teeth… The sight of those fangs made a shiver run down her neck… and an idea take form in her mind. An eye for an eye… a bite for a bite. As June continues to kiss his midriff, slowly she opens her mouth, carefully letting her teeth graze against his chest. Aedes shudders under her touch. This time- much to her surprise- she growls.

He yelps.

June pauses. The way he trembles in her hand stirs something in her. She draws back slowly, her eyes fixated on him. This time, Aedes does not meet her gaze. Instead, he looks away- face flushed. With his wrists still held in place above his head he looks so helpless. 

She likes that. 

Without meeting her gaze, he utters a single word.

"Please."

June Murphy unravels.

[what-is-canon]

Post-Dance AU (because I hate how George decided to completely eradicate the Greens *cough* Alicent’s *cough* line)

Jaehaera survives the assassination attempt by Unwin Peake because that poor girl did not deserve that horrific end and that’s that.

She and Aegon III bond over time, because these traumatized kids deserve some happiness and you know what? Maybe they are the only two people in the world right now who understand even a semblance of what the other has gone through (Aegon watched his mother die, Jaehaera watched her twin brother be slaughtered) and maybe they both recognize that neither of them is responsible for what their families did to each other so why should they resent one another?

Over time they become a great comfort to each other. On the days where one is particularly gloomy, the other sits by them and holds their hand and they are content to sit in silence together and neither needs to say what they’re feeling because the other already knows.

They are both very close with Gaemon Palehair. He and Aegon are close for the same reasons as within canon, while Jaehaera believes that Gaemon truly is her half-sibling, her last remaining brother.

Eventually, Alyn Velaryon brings Viserys II home from Essos, but the boy comes alone (a 12-year-old boy married to a 19-year-old woman, yeah I think the fuck not, not in my history, and besides even if they had been closer in age Larra Rogare hated Westeros so let her stay in Essos like she wanted and live her own life there and be happy).

Like in canon, Aegon is somewhat neglectful of his wife and friend in the wake of his brother’s return, but Jaehaera and Gaemon understand his actions. Anyway, they still have each other for company. Viserys is incredibly distrustful of Jaehaera, and Aegon pleads with Viserys to be more understanding of their marriage and the comfort they have found in each other.

Aegon decides to hold a feast to celebrate Viserys’s return. Viserys spends most of the festivities with Baela and Rhaena, preferring not to fraternize with the daughter of the man who killed his mother. In the company of his sisters is Daenaera Velaryon (aged up in to be closer in age to Viserys because an 11-year-old boy and a 6-year-old girl? It’s a no from me).

Daenaera manages to cheer Viserys with her happy nature, and he’s quite taken by how pretty she is. Unwin Peake, having never been exposed as the one behind Jaehaera’s assassination attempt (as is also the case in canon) brings his daughter to the feast in the hopes that she will catch the eye of Viserys, but Viserys has already taken a shine to Daenaera, ruining his plans once again.

The pair begin to exchange letters and (like Aegon and Jaehaera) bond over their losses. Viserys tells Aegon about his correspondence with Daenaera, and when Aegon tells Jaehaera, she decides to invite Daenaera to court as her lady-in-waiting. Viserys is delighted, and slowly begins to warm to Jaehaera.

As in canon, Aegon’s removal of the dragon eggs from the Red Keep causes a rift between the brothers. Unwin Peake continues to plot treason, conspiring to kill Aegon and Jaehaera so that Viserys may become King and take his daughter as his bride. But if his daughter is to become Viserys’s Queen, Daenaera Velaryon must also be removed. It is no secret by now that Viserys is very taken with the the girl, and intends to marry her.

Jaehaera and Daenaera eat the canonical poisoned tarts during a private dinner organized for the four. Aegon and Viserys narrowly avoid poisoning as they are delayed by a Small Council meeting. As in canon, Gaemon dies, devastating both Aegon and Jaehaera. The rift between Aegon and Viserys is mended as they help their respective ladies recover. Aegon and Jaehaera comfort each other through the loss of Gaemon, and Viserys proposes marriage to Daenaera, which she accepts. Oh, and Unwin Peake is finally exposed and executed (I still cannot believe this man escaped justice in canon, but not on my watch).

The four form a strong unit within the Red Keep and are, well, as happy as four traumatized young adults can be. They finally have the family each was deprived of at such a young age. Aegon eventually names Viserys his Hand, Jaehaera gives birth to Aegon’s five children, and Daenaera gives birth to Viserys’s three.

But unfortunately, canonical events must still come to pass. Aegon and Jaehaera pass away within months of each other in 157 AC; Daenaera dies some years later, and Viserys becomes his stern canonical self in the wake of her death. The crown passes from Aegon, to Daeron, to Baelor, to Viserys himself, to Aegon IV, who legitimizes the Blackfyres- who are now the descendants of both the Blacks and the Greens.

[serenescribe]

ell, i hope ur request is still available??? lol but im submitting a fic idea for now-- its been laying on my art ideas for awhile but im just not sure how to draw it so im sharing it now-- (this ask is long T0T im sorry-)

so basically the story right now is Lilia's dream and I believe the point of this dream is having Lilia be on time to save Malenoa and Levan from the Silver Owls???

i read a lot of theories that Silver might overblot mostly from magical exhaustion from using UM but its also possible that he might overblot by just the mental stress of it all lol so i think the moment that he'll really snap is the moment he'll found out he's a Silver Owl.

u see, I'm kinda hesitant to support the theory that Silver is one of the Silver Owls (even tho its so likely TT)---

bcuz,,, guys,,, do you the impact of that twisted info??? it means that IF Silver is one the Silver Owls;;;; he's from the nation that destroyed the Land of Briar, the reason why Briar Valley is such a small secluded nation and hates humans a lot, the probably main reason why faes and humans are distrustful to each other, the people who murdered Malleus' parents, the reason why Malleus had to grow up in isolation, the people who killed Lilia's most important people: Malenoa and Levan (which we can assume the only people he can refer to as family), and the reason why his father is dying early and is falling out of magic because he had to exhaust all of it for Malleus to live because his ancestors killed his parents---- if Silver is from the Silver Owls actually, can he truly still have the audacity to refer to Lilia as "his father" knowing well now he's the root of all his misery?

He'll never meet Lilia if he's from Silver Owl/if Land of Briar won against them)-- unlike Sebek and Malleus who's family is tied with Malenoa and Baul

He's realizing that his existence to his father life was born from losing everything he had and he gets engulfed by the darkness

"because this is Father's true family…" Silver realizes as he looks at the expression of Lilia genuinely happy in relief that Malenoa and Levan was saved and the enemy is defeated and he'll never meet Silver anymore because his nation lost.

"We were never meant to dream together" (this is in contrast of Silver's UM's message; "let's share the same dream")

you. you are WICKED for this utter monster of a prompt. lian, i cannot believe you. i woke up, read it, and just couldn't stop grinning. i genuinely hope i did this justice. thank you for letting me write this!

The relief on his father’s face hurts Silver to the very core of his soul.

There is a celebration erupting around him, the chaotic, spontaneous festivities of a war long-won. Victory is theirs; the Valley has prevailed over her enemies, all human intruders either slain or driven out, the Silver Owls and their Knight of Dawn thoroughly suppressed.

And yet, as Silver lurks about at a corner of the room, back pressed against the dark stone wall as he observes from afar, all he can feel is a deep-rooted agony. There is a light happiness to his father’s face, so unlike the stern disposition of the general that Silver had gotten used to, having adapted to it despite how strange it feels to interact with his father in his callous prime.

Near his father is Princess Malenoa and her betrothed, the former carrying her egg in her arms. From where he stands, Silver watches as the draconic fae’s face creases as she laughs at a comment Lilia makes, the three of them enraptured in their own little world.

He bites his lips, heart aching as it thumps against his chest.

It hurts.

It hurts because Silver knows who he is, what he is now. He’s put it all together, uncovered all the missing pieces of the puzzle throughout his time fighting by his father’s side, hoping to wake him within his dream. There was an uncanny resemblance Silver shared with the Knight of Dawn, one that had struck him upon laying his eyes on the man. Even now, it makes him sick to his stomach thinking of the implications.

But appearances could be coincidental. There were many people in the world; surely some people were bound to share similarities in the end? And yet, there was another piece of evidence, one that had casted away any lingering doubts Silver had clung to, one that damned his fate.

Silver’s fingers close around the ornate ring in his palm, its necklace chain draped over the side of his wrist, swaying slightly.

He’d found the very same ring in the Knight of Dawn’s tent, when they’d ransacked it after a lengthy battle. It had been nestled in a tiny locked box that opened at his touch, and Silver’s breathing had stuttered to a gasping halt as soon as he laid eyes upon the tiny piece of jewellery — a perfect replica of the ring slung around his neck.

“Hey.”

The sound of a voice snags his ear, swaying his attention away from the cheerful face of his father — though does Silver truly reserve the right to call him that, after everything he’d learnt? Glancing to the side, Silver relaxes at the sight of Yuu shuffling over, standing next to him, their hands buried in the pocket of their jacket.

Silver dips his head at them. They smile weakly at him in return.

For a while, they stand there together, simply observing the rest of the room. Silver’s gaze flits around, from the thronging groups of fae celebrating their victory, to the sight of Sebek laughing up a storm with the younger form of his grandfather — an apparition of Lilia’s dream, but still an indulgence for the boy — until finally, they land back at his father.

“How’re you feeling?” Yuu asks, out of nowhere.

Silver exhales. “I… I am fine. Thank you for your concern.”

“Mm. I don’t really think fine constitutes standing in a corner of the room like this,” Yuu points out with a shrug. “Isn’t now probably the best time to… what was it, try and wake up Lilia?”

It is the best time to do such a thing. And yet, whenever Silver considers the thought, eyes darting back to his laughing father, he hesitates. He sucks in a sharp breath at the sight of Princess Malenoa passing her egg off to her lover to lean over and wrap his father up in a warm embrace, lifting him off the ground as she whirls around in giddy joy.

The peaceful bliss on Lilia’s face is familiar to him. It’s an expression Silver’s seen many times before while growing up.

“...We can wait,” Silver eventually says, stifling a sigh. He crosses his arms. “It would not hurt to let him enjoy this a little longer.”

“If you say so,” Yuu hums in response. “Not that Grim would complain, I think. Pretty sure he’s off gorging himself on food somewhere, the little rat.”

Another pause, only permeated by the constant sound of festivities.

“...Something isn’t right, huh?” Yuu exhales. “I don’t really… know much about Hornton— um, Malleus, apart from what he told me, and… what I’ve learnt here.” They gesture at the room. “But I kinda get the feeling his parents aren’t exactly around anymore. And yet they’re alive, huh?”

Silver doesn’t even need to turn to know just what Yuu is looking at — the very much alive, not missing, Princess Malenoa and Levan chatting happily with Lilia.

“...Yeah,” Silver eventually breathes, voice weak. “They’re alive.”

Maybe— no, not maybe. It’s definitely better this way. How can Silver restore the status quo after everything he’s learnt throughout his father’s dream, of the wretched past that Lilia never told him about? His father looks so unbearably happy now, in this peaceful dream of a war won without the losses that happened in reality. Lilia had lost his closest companions, his childhood friends. He’d spent years presumably exhausting his magic, to take care of Malleus in their stead until the draconic fae finally hatched, because Malleus’ parents had been killed.

And he’d taken Silver in, despite the hue of his hair, the colour of his eyes — all little bits of evidence that should have clued Lilia in on his son’s true identity: a descendent of the Silver Owls.

A ragged exhale spills out of his mouth.

How can he look at Lilia now and call him his father? Silver is sure of it; he has to have been descended from the awful humans who ravaged the Valley and bled her dry of her resources, all before slaughtering the fair folk’s princess before her child could even be hatched. They’d been responsible for her bethrothed’s disappearance too, Silver is certain of it.

How can Silver have the audacity to think of Lilia as his own, when he is tied to the root of all his father’s misery?

And to make matters worse, in such a selfish, wretched way that it makes him feel sick—

Silver cannot stop thinking about how, in this other world, this perfect fantasy that his father supposedly longs for, he would have never found his son.

(Can Silver still call himself that?)

“SILVER!”

That familiar, thunderous voice startles him out of his swirling thoughts. Sebek frowns at him, hands resting on his hips. When had his friend arrived…? “We ought to get a move on with waking up Master Lilia,” he declares, attracting a few glances from nearby fae, chittering to each other about what Silver presumes is the sound of Sebek’s voice. “That IS what we came here for, no? And then after, we shall go and save Lord Malleus!”

“And on that note, I should go find Grim,” Yuu says, turning with a wave. “I’ll meet you guys when you’re ready to dream hop, Silver!”

Silver watches the human prefect depart, vanishing into the throng of shifting fae.

He bites his lip.

“Silver?”

Sebek’s voice is stern. And yet, there is a hint of what Silver knows is concern weaved into it. He glances back over at his friend, noticing the scrutinising arch of Sebek’s eyebrows, the way he inspects Silver closely. “What are you waiting for?” he demands. With a wave of his hand towards Lilia’s general direction, Sebek says, “Let us depart!”

“I can’t.”

Those two words spill from his lips before he can stop himself. Silver winces at the sight of Sebek’s eyes widening, pupils constraining at what he said, thoroughly taken aback. “What— Whatever do you mean, Silver?” Shaking his head, Sebek narrows his eyes. “Now is not the time for such foolish jesting—”

“I’m serious, Sebek.”

Silence. Sebek gawks at him, and Silver averts his gaze. His heart hammers in his chest, so loud he can hear it in his ears. He feels vaguely lightheaded. And it still hurts.

But it is precisely because it hurts that Silver is doing this, that he is refusing to wake his father up from his dream. What right does he have to do that, to disrupt such a wonderful fantasy, a world where everything turned out right for Lilia in the end? It would make him no better than the selfish, greedy humans who pillaged the Valley, killing fae left and right, and wrecking such havoc upon them all.

In the end, to wake Lilia up would be such an audacious, inconsiderate desire on Silver’s part. How dare he strip his father of the happiness he deserves?

Because, Silver thinks wistfully, gazing upon Lilia and Malenoa and Levan all over again, this is Father’s true family. It was never me. It is an epiphany that dawns upon him. And all of a sudden, everything feels clear.

(“Silver? SILVER!”)

Yes, this is the way it should be. Lilia should remain here in blissful paradise. Silver can move on, can take Sebek and Yuu and Grim with him — unless they wish to stay, of course, to which he wouldn’t fault them; he’s seen how attached Sebek is to his grandfather, after all. They don’t need to bother his father with the likes of their plans to save Malleus from his overblot. They can find other people instead!

(“SILVER!”)

We were never meant to dream together, Silver thinks wistfully. It’s like his focus has narrowed down to solely his father, everything else in his peripheral vision blurring together into a mess of darkness. But that’s the truth of it, isn’t it?

What sort of a selfish son would he be, to strip his father of his hard-earned happiness?

“SILVER!”

He jolts at the sharp sensation of a slap, lurching back to his senses.

The first thing he notices is Sebek’s face, contorted with such abject fear, hand raised in front of him.

The second thing he notices is—

The darkness, bubbling around him, sucking at his heels, clinging and sliding its way up his legs.

Hands wrap around his wrists, trying to drag him forward, away from the sloshing pit of inky blackness that claws at him. “Get OUT!” Sebek screeches, in part a furious demand, in part a desperate plea. But as soon as Silver stumbles his way to clean, even ground, the darkness slides right back in, nipping at his ankles, dragging him back in.

And yet, all Silver can feel is an overwhelming sensation of calm. There is a dull ache that throbs in his chest, one that sobs and wails and causes the darkness to clamber up his body even further. A single realisation makes itself clear in his mind.

He’s overblotting, isn’t he?

That’s the only explanation Silver can muster, the reason why the darkness has returned for him. It’s not reacting like it has in the past. No, this time, it’s surging straight for only him while ignoring everyone else in the room.

Perhaps he’d overexerted himself a bit too much. Perhaps he’d let his tumultuous emotions get the better of him.

What will happen if he stays? Will he lose control of himself? Silver exhales, a melancholic acceptance overtaking his soul. He knows what he has to do now.

And it is with his newfound purpose in mind that Silver pulls his hands out of Sebek’s grasp. He steps back, a sad smile on his face as the other boy stares at him. “ARE YOU INSANE?” Sebek screams, voice erupting through the air, dragging the room into silence. “SILVER, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY THINK OF GIVING INTO THE DARKNESS!”

All Silver can do is hang his head, and take another step back. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs — and he truly is. But it’s safer this way, isn’t it? He can handle an overblot. He knows how to get himself away, so he cannot hurt anyone else any more than he already has.

And as Silver readies his magic, hands clasped firmly around the ring in his palm, beginning to murmur the words under his breath, his gaze flits around the room once more. From a panic-stricken Sebek to a distressed and frozen Yuu, Grim tucked under their arm, to the whispering fae backing away from the scene, until finally…

He meets crimson eyes that widen, a glint sparking within them, face contorting into one of realisation and pure fear.

“Meet in a Dream,” Silver whispers with a sad smile, raising his ring to his lips, breath ghosting along the glistening gem — slowly clouding over, losing its lustre and shine.

And as the general breaks away from his two closest companions, boots slamming against the stone floor as he sprints for Silver, one arm outstretched, the scream of a name emerging from his lips—

Silver allows his magic to tear himself away from this dream, taking him somewhere far away, where he can let the blot swallow him whole.

At the very least, as he loses his mind—

He knows his father will be safe and happy.

[theredofoctober]

TWO TIME- BILLY BUTCHER X READER FIC

Crossposted from AO3

Synopsis: Reader is a double agent, struggling with the guilt of informing on the Boys' movements to Homelander. Butcher gets suspicious, and corners Reader in the office to get to the bottom of his feelings...

Reader's gender is not specified

TW: noncon/dubcon, threat, idk Billy is his own warning

Story after the cut, keep reading

It's dark when you return to base, the night swallowing the city like a pothole as you edge furtively through the front door, hoping to pass through it unseen.

You hate coming here. The precarious balance of risk, an asp-coil of danger; you loathe every aspect of your employment, yet you are bound to it through your need to do what's right. Through your loyalty to each member of the operation, who consider you one of them, now.

Even him.

Billy Butcher's rough voice lunges out of the the gloom like a jumping spider, all grinding catankerous gravel.

"What bloody time do you call this?"

He's been waiting for you for hours, must have been, broiling in a stew of his own temper.

"Uh, I don't think it's that late, sir," you stammer. "It's only 9.30..."

"Cunt o'clock, is what it is."

The boss watches you remove your coat, his every motion electric with distrust. One eye squints, a swollen pomegranate ripened by some stranger's fist, and there is blood under the black scruff of beard along his jawline. It scares you how often Butcher seeks out an uneven fight, a masochist, for all his posturing ego.

From across the room you smell him: the musk of sweat, stale cologne, the fug of beer. Rancid. 

"You were due in at seven," Butcher gripes. "Been snuggling up to your pet Supe Homelander all night, have you?"

Primly, you hang up your hat and scarf on the wall hooks, each layer seeming to unearth a new vulnerability.

"Yes, I've been spending time with him," you say. "On your orders, sir."

You hate that Butcher holds this over you, the jig you're forced to dance between him and the tyrannical leader of the Seven. By day, you're the Homelander's latest fling, gleaning intel and private dirt from every interaction. By night, you belong to the Boys, although not entirely, nor could you ever be when the most powerful man in the world scents, on your skin, wherever you go, and who with.

Homelander lets you come here. He seems to thoroughly enjoy whatever game it is he's playing with these lesser beings, their fumbling attempts to end his monstrous reign.

If Butcher ever knew of this particular truth you suspect that you'd be dead. A traitor's end, luridly bloody in the manner of all things pertaining to this man and his hard justice.

"Sometimes I think you stretch my orders to the bloody limit," Butcher complains.

He can't let go of his resentment; more prodding comes, like devilish clockwork, quick, and cutting, and predictable.

"Sleepovers with Supertwat weren't on the fucking schedule. I'm starting to think you like the bastard."

"No," you murmur, placatingly. "Of course not. How could I? He's horrible."

Still, you don't meet the boss's eye as you hand him the folder you've been carrying under one arm, only linger, fidgeting, as he rifles through your painstakingly typed-out notes.

Of the rest of the team only two others are present: the Female, Kimiko, hunching low over a desk, and Frenchie, who watches you with an unhappy empathy, his arms wrapped tightly around his thin knees. They both look tired, strung out, as keen to leave as you are.

"At least Starlight had an excuse to fratsernise with Homelander," sneers Butcher, warming to his theme. "I don't like all this extracurricular you're putting in, alright?"

Tiring of the conversation, you mumble, timidly, "If Homelander asks me to stay late with him, then I have to do it. He gets so agitated; at any second he could hurt me, kill me. If he gets suspicious—"

"Always an excuse, eh, Two-Time?" 

At this you physically flinch.

"Please don't call me that."

"Everyone gets a name here, treacle," says Butcher, grinning widely, proud to have struck a nerve. "Cheer up; least I haven't called you a cunt."

"Not yet," Frenchie mutters, and the boss looks up sharply. 

"Got something to say, have you?"

The smaller man turns up the collar of his jacket and shrinks away into it.

"Nothing, nothing, mon ami."

Kimiko glances up from the table and signs quickly at Frenchie. You only know a smattering of the language, but one particular phrase you do understand, and tighten your lips against a laugh. You can't afford to rankle Butcher any further, who is clearly looking to start a fight with everyone, anyone, and no one in particular.

Attempting to placate him, you say, "Butcher, please. I think I'm starting to gain Homelander's trust. He tells me things about his feelings. He's very insecure. If we use that, we have a way in. To take him down."

Butcher merely grumbles under his breath, engrossed in your notes again. There is more to his mood than suspicion: a seething, reluctant jealousy, threatened by your proximity to Homelander, with whom he shares a vicious rivalry. Neither man can stand to have his authority shaken, but at times you almost fear Butcher more for his sheer lack of limitations.

Sensing the ugliness of his mood, you persist with your attempts to soothe him, aware, as you do so, of how low your self-respect has sunk.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't back on time," you rasp. "I'll do better. I didn't mean to undermine you, sir."

"Should fucking hope not."

Butcher's mood recedes slightly, and in the corner of your eye you see Frenchie shaking his head. He knows how to grovel better than anyone; you've heard it whispered that he's knelt to many men and women, and taken pleasure in it, as well as suffering.

Has Frenchie ever been on his knees for Butcher in this way?

Perhaps. Perhaps not. The thin line of Frenchie's mouth suggests that even he disapproves of your weakness.

Ashamed, you twist away, glancing longingly at your coat again.

"I... I should go," you falter. "Everything I got out of Homelander today is in that file. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

"Stay right there," says Butcher, sharply. "You and me are gonna have a private natter, one to one."

You blood runs like Arctic water, and you sense Frenchie's tension, Kimiko's mutinous stare.

"Is something wrong, sir?" you ask, quietly.

Butcher shrugs, a dangerous smile playing on his lips.

"You tell me," he says. "If you're as squeaky clean as you claim to be then you've got nothing to worry about, have you, love?"

He claps his rough hands together, and you almost jump out of your skin.

"Come on, then. Let's get it over with."

You scamper at his heels, your gut churning with nerves.

Butcher swaggers into a seldom used office and sits behind the desk, swinging his boots up onto its surface.

"Shut the door," he says. "Don't want them two lovebirds earwigging."

With quivering hands you obey, your eyes cast downwards, anywhere away from him.

"Got any idea what you're doing here?" asks Butcher, straight to business.

You shake your head with a perhaps telling quickness.

"No, I don't, sir."

Butcher groans softly.

"Fucking listen to ya. Like butter wouldn't melt. Makes a difference from the usual cuntery I have to put up with."

You don't reply, only shift from foot to foot like a student pulled up before the headteacher.

"Here's the thing," says Butcher. "I think there's a lot more to you than meets the eye. By which I mean to say, I reckon that you're a fucking liar."

Fear makes rigid every tendon in your body, and you shrink into yourself, your gaze still fixed on the floor, picking out every speck of dust and groove in the boards.

"I— I haven't lied about anything," you murmur, tremulously.

But as Butcher's mouth twists upwards like the grimace of a Halloween mask you regret the words, a stupid falsehood.

"Your report's lacking in some serious detail," Butcher announces. "You haven't said one piddly word about what Homelander has to say about me, and believe me, I know he's said something. Thinks about me like a school girl who's been sent a Valentines' card, the creepy fucker."

"He... he hasn't mentioned you to me lately," you say, clinging to bland denial. "We're close, but there's still a lot of stuff he won't talk about. This is what I was trying to tell you, I need more time—"

"Nah."

Butcher brings his boots down from the desk and leans towards you, his head at a predatory angle.

"You're hiding something."

Your mouth clicks dryly, robbed of its saliva.

"Sir, I—"

"'Sir' my left bollock. Wanna guess how I know there's something up?"

He's been following you, or some unknown party has ratted you out, or else Homelander himself has stopped by to gloat, and make you look the fool.

Perspiration gathers at the back of your neck, and you don't dare reach up to wipe it away.

Butcher says, "I can tell there's something wrong 'cause you can never look me in the fucking eye."

You glance up, unable to shield your surprise.

"Oh. That— that isn't because of Homelander. It's— I—"

Your voice is small, a humiliating wisp.

You can't look at him because you're afraid of him, and would be even if you were not guilty.

A new emotion blooms in Butcher's black eyes, something cruel, and clever, and gleeful. It boils your core with a nervous anticipation of what he may do to you, what you've long imagined him doing, in the sweating darkness of your bedroom, in the night.

"What was that, darlin'?" asks Butcher "You went a bit quiet there."

He stands up from the desk and prowls towards you, and you realise, with a start, how tall he is, his stature—draped in clashing shirt and black overcoat—of the the kind that might engulf you with a mere embrace.

You feel small, so very small, exhilarated, and afraid.

"Oi," says Butcher. "Look at me."

With effort you raise your eyes to his. He seems to like what he sees there, for some of his aggression narrows away, or else morphs into a more playful version of itself.

"Butcher," you almost-whisper, and he lists over you, holding your stare for so long that you wish you'd thought to drop the report and run.

"Nervy little thing, ain'tcha?" he says, mockingly. "Scared shitless. Think I'm gonna hurt you?"

You nod, incapable of speech.

"Aww," says Butcher, and pats your cheek mockingly. "Don't be stupid. You ain't a Supe; I got no reason to smack you about unless you give me one."

A current of anticipation sparks through you, and you nod again, swallowing a filmy clot of spit.

"That's the ticket," Butcher growls, and tilts back your head with a coarse gentleness, admiring your mouth, your throat, your body under the many layers of clothes. 

It's cold in New York, and you've dressed for it, although you suspect that this measure won't last long.

"I wanna see you prove that you're my soldier," says Butcher, slyly. "Dedicated to the bloody cause."

You dither, feeling stupid and clumsy and eager, at pains not to make a greater fool of yourself. 

"I... do you want me to..."

Your eyes dart about madly, resting, finally, at the buckle of Butcher's belt, thinking of Homelander, the usual manner of settling his temper.

Butcher notices the path of your gaze, and revels in it.

"Go on," he urges. "Don't be shy."

He's grinning ear to ear, observing your flustered glances and desperate want to please him. When you reach out shaking fingers to the front of his trousers and touch his groin you find it hard, and wonder how long it's been so. 

"Fucking hell," Butcher breathes.

He watches you with remarkable restraint as you undo his belt buckle and zipper, releasing his rigid heat into your palm. Guilt thrums in a sickly undercurrent as you work your hand along him, thinking how quickly Butcher would turn if he knew all the nastiness Homelander has spilled into your ear about him. All the admiration, the hatred, and the love.

Butcher jerks your face upright again, giving you a little shake of warning.

"If I wanted to stare at the back of your head I'd fuck you over the desk. Keep looking at me, love."

With your fist still around his cock Butcher kisses you, forcefully, but not without a certain affection. It takes you aback, having assumed, through his relentless taunting, that he despises you. 

Now you're not so sure. 

"Get on your knees, Two-Time" Butcher says, softly, and although you wince at the moniker you lower yourself down with murmured assent.

"Yes, sir."

"Sir," Butcher repeats, and laughs. "Where did that even come from, eh?"

Still, you can tell he loves the submission in your voice, the fumbling quickness with which you scramble down onto the floor to take him. He's big, suffocating you with his girth as he rocks into your throat, one large hand coming to the back of your head to force you, struggling, against him.

You pull back, gasping a whooping breath.

"Please, Butcher..."

"Too rough for you, darlin'?"

You think he'll shove you back down again, but he pets your hair coarsely and leers.

"Look at them fucking puppy eyes. Can't say no to that, can I? There you go, then. Do the work yourself."

He releases you, allowing you to take his arousal at your own pace. You lap at his shaft, feeling stupid and unskilled and still so wanting of his praise. Yet you don't even need him to speak: every grunt and mutter and clash of his teeth feeds you with the knowing that he adores every second of the attention.

"Been thinking about doing this for months," he rasps. "I could have been fucking you all over the place, and I waited this long..."

Butcher tugs himself free of your throat on a stream of glittering drool and leers as you wait wordlessly for his command. 

"I'm gonna fuck you silly," he says, "and when I'm finished you'll thank me for such a lovely time."

Then he barks, abruptly, "Oi! Where are you going?"

This added as you scramble up, towards the door, caught in a sudden crisis of conscience and common sense.

"We— we can't do this," you stammer. "I can't. Homelander—"

"He can go fuck himself," snaps Butcher. "You're mine, not his. He can fight me for you."

"He—"

"You gonna keep arguing with me, sunshine?"

You stand, one hand pressed to your slick mouth in horror of what you've allowed to go so far. All too easy to envision Homelander boiling your core to acid with a bolt of his stare, breaking your skull as simply as shattering a tea cup.

Butcher clearly reads these thoughts in your expression, for he says, in a slightly gentler tone, "He won't hurt you, alright? I won't let him. Trust the boss."

Unconvinced, you only dither, and the softness in Butcher skids away.

"You want this," he grinds out, "or you would've buggered off out of here already. Wouldn't ya?"

You hold your silence, shaking so violently that you catch a fragment of your tongue between your teeth and taste the salt tang of blood. In some sideways fashion Butcher is giving you the opportunity to flee, and yet you remain, shackled by your coward's yearning to appease him.

A shuddering breath escapes you, and Butcher twitches his head irritably.

"Say somethin', will you?" he grumbles.

His length is a stone in his fist, and you sense that he holds himself back from you only to preserve some unspoken rule, waiting for permission with the trembling violence of an attack dog, which, with a word, might be called down.

"I—" you start, and cough, your voice so thin that there is no substance to it. 

Moistening your lips, you try again.

"I, uh, I want to follow orders, sir."

Butcher looks at you sideways, and you feel want roll off him with the heaviness of a dream.

"Well, it's your lucky day, darlin', 'cause I've got one for you. See that cabinet over there? I want you stood, facing it, your hands on the doors. No moving about, no noise; don't want them nosy cunts in the other room asking questions."

Nodding, you cross the room and stand as you've been asked, shuddering gently as Butcher steps up behind you, his hot breath upon your neck. You know, both of you, that this is a very bad decision, and proves nothing but that each of you are prey to individual weakness.

Butcher is so still that you wonder if it is he, now, that's changing his mind, but then one vast hand pushes at your back, thrusting you flat against against the cabinet with a tinny jingle.

"Get your fucking legs apart," he growls, and you almost slip in your rush to acquiesce. "That's it. Nice and wide."

His fingers rip at your clothes with a black bear's savagery, baring your skin to him, the space between your thighs he's thought about, before now, in derisive and idle lust. Again he pauses, only to thrust two broad fingers into your mouth. You dare not think of the likelihood of them being unclean.

"Get 'em wet for me," says Butcher, and presses his knuckles to your tongue until they come away dripping with spittle.

You hear him snarl a coarse breath as he blunts his fingers inside you, as taken up by your plaintive moans as with your tightness. His hardness is like a switchblade against your thigh, and you remember, acutely, that you fear this man as much as you desire him. He knows it; you feel the smugness of it in his rough kisses on your neck and mouth as he ruts against you.

One palm cups the back of your skull, flattening your cheek to the filing cabinet as, in a ragged motion, he enters your yearning heat. He's so big that you cry out, the wounded whimper of a trapped coyote.

"Keep it down, I said," Butcher reminds you, but you hear the grin in his voice, endure, through his rough strokes, the madness of his appetite. 

And you— you're afloat in pleasure and submission, inebriated with it, like some God of drink and sex. Every curse and demand from Butcher lures another butterfly of sensation through you, and in the thicket of feeling you forget Homelander, forget that the man fucking you now is bad, and exploiting you for what you've so feebly offered up to him.

You've wanted, achingly, the freedom of being controlled, the pathetic thrill of degradation. The coarseness of it all is cheap, and filthy, and necessary. 

Butcher twists you about so that your back is against the cabinet, your legs a knot about his waist. He juts his face close to yours, and with a start of terror you realise that you're looking him in the eye, unable to escape their directness.

"Tell me who fucking owns you," says Butcher, and his possession coils about you like a strangling weed. "Say it."

He still thrusts within you, but slowly, brutally, until you have to ball your fists to prevent yourself from grasping him for support.

"Start talking. Who do you fucking belong to?"

"You!" you blurt out, at last. "You, not him, not Homelander—"

Butcher's mouth crushes yours in a grappling kiss, and there is a desperation in it as well as conceit. The pitiful nature of it somehow only strengthens your arousal, and as his strokes resume their previous force you slip into a quick and stunning ecstasy.

Butcher's eyes glaze, and you think, again, of some stupid, brutish animal, spirit of athirst, wild and thoughtless. He comes so hard that, in a slip of teeth, he bites your lip, and that slip of authority awakens, in you, an endless wonder.

"Shit," mutters Butcher.

He lets you down from him almost gently, then turns away, scrubbing your blood from his chin. Suddenly he is all shifting agitation, but if he regrets what he's done then he does not show it, smoothing away his inner thoughts with bluster.

"Glad we could clear the air, Two-Time. You get yourself cleaned up, then go home and write up that report the way you should have done the first time. I want it back here tomorrow. No pissing about."

Stuffing yourself back into your clothes you make conversation with the floor again.

"No, sir. I mean, yes, I'll do that. Of course."

You touch your lip gingerly, and Butcher has enough reluctant grace to acknowledge it.

"Better put something on that, love. Don't wanna spoil that pretty little face."

The compliment—a mockery, but a compliment, still—flowers a dim flush across your features. Butcher reaches up to pinch your cheek playfully as he saunters past you on his way to the door, his thumb grazing your warmth.

"Night, then."

It's only when Butcher is gone and you're standing alone, loose-limbed and quaking with exertion, that you think of Homelander again.

Fuck. What is he going to do to you when he finds out what you've done?