#would you look at that i thought i’d sound angrier but this is actually p respectful all things considered?

[lovelovex]

no x posts no announcements, kind rude p don’t you think cutting such a big amount of people who CARE about you guys is too much??? it is hard to keep up with all your updates via fucking RUMORS of all things for fucks sake

oh we’re right off w the accusations ok ok ok sometimes i hate being the spokesperson, P the diplomat, but here we go

i’m gonna use this post for the whole rant bc it’s all p much the same in my inbox:

if ‘rumors’ have been your only source of information for the past i dont rly rmbr how many months honey that’s intentional

sometime in july, before i made that post ab the healing process, we sat down and went thru every email subscribed to our mailing list, every account in every gc we used to have, decided fuck it and created all the new ones, rmbr when we had like 500+ members in one of them? well that’s not happening ever again, outsiders aren’t allowed anymore

did it hurt your feelings being left out?

well it hurt my feelings to find out how many of you were actually involved in the case behind my back, how many of you knew exactly what was happening in those two years and stayed silent or worse – chose to side w the person who wanted to take everything he could away from me

not just me, my friends, my family, the ppl i love more than anything else in this world, have suffered enormously bc of His actions and bc of Your support of those actions

i know exactly who you all are, i have a list of names i dont want to hear ever again in my life

the damage you’ve done is irreparable, and it’s beyond my imagination how any of you still feel entitled to anything, did you rly think i’d never find out? i thought it was common knowledge i always find out one way or another

we’re all grown up ppl, and it’s not my place to tell you who you can or cannot talk to, you’ve made your choices and we’ve made ours, and if you ended up on the outside of the circle, welcome to consequences 101, your actions actually do have an impact, what a concept

the case played a big part in the whole thing, but we’re way past that now, and the thing is – the real reason behind ‘cutting out such a big amount of ppl’ is we’re tired, the better part of our lives was dedicated solely to creating a safe space, and we did, only to realize we’re our own safe space, it’s the ppl, so the shows are still happening, the karaoke nights and the acoustic sessions, i say my thank yous from the stage and in emotional voice msgs at 3am bc my god do i love our space, my little sanity oasis, that part hasn’t and will never change

what changed is that we don’t have to subject ourselves to scrutiny, to any form of judgement anymore rly, what they dont know they can’t ruin i rmbr a post like this somewhere on this blog, i dont have to read your thoughts on every single detail of every single move we make, i only hear opinions from those ppl i actually want to listen to, and no, i dont only surround myself w yes men now, if i do smth wrong i still get called out, rightfully so

what i’m mostly tired of is those half-assed friendships, of ppl who only wanted me smiling and shiny, who would disappear the second things got a bit depressing, i dont know who hurt you, but it wasn’t me, or maybe it was, in that case that’s on you if you never had the guts to open your mouth and actually say smth

yk i’ve had to say so many goodbyes in the last two years, i’ll say some more if it comes to this, i’m getting better at letting ppl come and go, but i could never tolerate indifference or betrayal, and i’ve had enough of both of these things

you can still go off in my inbox, let it all out, i can’t rly stop you, just know it doesn’t make any difference to me

[murmuur-vanilja]

Fictober 2022.12 — Amă’s so‑called lover

Prompt number 12: "You're making my head hurt" Original fiction: My Servant, the Devil Rating: M Warnings: violence, abduction

This is a scene I had already written about back in 2020 (during Fictober, actually!) — I thought I'd rewrite it, because I really like the scene, and because the characters have evolved since then, and I think they deserved some more fleshed-out writing.

After long minutes of running, we had finally ended up reaching the forest where Red Forces hadn’t been dispatched, for it was known to be impossible to find your way through it. Seeing as we had abducted the Queen, I wondered if they would try and follow us. I had once again put them in quite a difficult situation — whichever course of action they’d end up taking, we at least had some time to rest at that moment. They needed to think first, whereas I already had several plans for us to escape safely. I turned around to face my partner. Amă was sitting on the ground near a pine tree, the unconscious body of Rachida not far away. She was embracing her own knees, shaking terribly, as if she had only realised what we had both done that night. I had long lost any sense of proper empathy, but I could only guess the sort of major shock she had received from living through those events. It made sense that as soon as she would be given time to pause and think, she’d break down crying. Caught-up in her own hell of a trauma, she didn’t notice my steps on the squeaking leaves, approaching her instead of sitting on my own. “Yo. You’re trembling as fuck, lol.”

She barely looked up, knowing very well it couldn’t be anyone but me. The current state of anxiety she was in could have cast an unreasonable doubt, but either way, she had already recognised my voice. I was the only person she knew who was unable to pronounce the “z” sound in the word “as”. Her blank eyes met my gaze, and they soon resorted to hate; she had realised there was a tangible reason for her state that she could easily blame. She soon spat out her disgust at me. “You Devil always come and go so casually, talking with no regard to the atmosphere. Do you never know torment? Guilt?” I shrugged at those questions, not even bothering to develop a proper answer. Although I didn’t act much differently to her than I would act towards adults, I did feel more sympathy for her kind — the forgotten, abused victims of the State and of everyone in general. Yet, I poked fun at her. “Nope. Why? Are you feeling guilty? Is it a guilty pleasure, lol?” I could sense emotions pouring back into her body as her expression became livelier. I suppose that my words had found her outraged. You could say it was a way for me to help her cope. She needed to scream, I provided her with an outlet — naturally, I was most likely only making her angrier, adding useless shit on top of her already full plate. “Of course not! Why would it be pleasure? It’s–“ “Love?” This time, she jumped on both feet, ready to explode. An imperceptible smile on my face was facing her pained, distorted traits. Once we’d reach home, someone else would have all the time in the world to shoulder her properly — someone like Jaune, maybe. I just needed her to be grounded in her body at the moment, for she needed to be ready to fight if the Red Forces were ever to be finding us. “Watch your language, you Devil. Love for whom?” “Me.” “No.” “But it’s true, lol. We went on a date.” “Absolutely not.” I made sure to give her the biggest grin, mischievous as ever, for I didn’t feel much torment making fun of whatever feelings she most likely didn’t have. Being so inclined to call me the Devil, she surely didn’t appreciate the sort of sarcasm I was using. I stepped up on a rock for her eyes to be on the same level, and lowering my voice in an almost threatening manner, I went on with my discourse. “Don’t you remember? I gave you this pretty coat, Lil’ Red riding-hood, which I had sewn myself for my cute Romanian wife. Then we both went off somewhere in the East, pulled the trigger on one’s head…” “You Devil better shut up.” “No single bullet was loaded, but shooting blanks was enough to make her faint. So we took her body and we started running like the happy couple we are. Terrorism is my favourite kind of first date. Could it be yours too?” “You’re making my head hurt.” Unexpectedly, anger seemed to have vanished from her body, and she simply looked away. Pallor rose to her face as a sign of her discomfort, and she silently fell back to her original places, under the pine branches. I shrugged. This wasn’t the reaction I needed, but she might have truly deserved a break, after all. If those Red Fuckers showed up, I’d protect her. Well, I would have helped either way, but I’d rather have it not look personal. I turned around; nothing of interest was left for me to do there. Yet, her voice called for me as I was giving her room. “No. Come back.” I stopped, mildly caring for her sudden change of mood. There were many things I didn’t quite understand when it came to human emotions, because it simply didn’t matter to me. I had stopped being emotional myself a long time ago. Amă was hardly even looking at me — rather, she was definitely not staring at my face. “You… Ren. Please don’t go too far away. I don’t want to be alone with remorse.” “True, lol.” I shrugged. “Wanna play cards?”

[hoodiewithhorns]

━ using your safe word scenarios ★

characters : hajime iwaizumi, tetsuro kuroo, keiji akaashi.

there will be a part 2 & 3 coming soon!

edit : p.2 is out <3

m.sterlist + requests box

▲ cw : not proof read, angst, use of safeword, “red” used as the safeword, clit spanking, mean!doms, hurt/comfort, established relationship, forced orgasm, jealousy, oral m! receiving, facefucking, foreplay f! receiving, degradation, slight punishment if you squint, aftercare/reassurance , all characters are 18+, MDNI ▼

Kuroo

- you weren’t necessarily in a good mood to be fucked roughly by him

- you just wanted some soft passionate sex with kuroo

- You assumed he’d figure out what you wanted due to him knowing you better than yourself.

- But you were wrong..very wrong.

-Not wanting to disappoint your boyfriend you played along.

- biggest mistake.

〜 ☆

you bobbed your head on his cock while he groaned at the slow pace. you were taking your time today since you weren’t in the best mood to be shoving him down your throat. you thought he take this as a sign of you wanting things slow soft and sweet, instead he took this as a sign of you being bratty, a brat who deserves punishment in his eyes.

“you little brat.” he forcefully shoved his cock down your throat. You gagged in response feeling your eyes become glossy, tears promising to spill at any given minute, looking up at him with pleading eyes hoping he’d show some form of mercy. but of course, he didn’t. tightening the grip on your hair he moved you back and forth on his cock causing you to gag and your breathing becoming heavy.

you heart ached in your chest as you tried to push him off, but to no avail. a dark chuckle leaving his throat as he watched you struggle, a sight he would commonly enjoy. “such a bad girl today huh? maybe i should go find another goodgirl. one that’ll actually listen.” you tried to shake your head as fat tears streamed down your face, the thought of him replacing you being one your biggest fears. did he mean that? just cause you weren’t in a good mood he was gonna replace you? you thought to yourself noticing the grip he had on you loosened a little. you could move away now and so you did. pulling away from his cock trying to catch your breath only causing him to get angrier. “why are you being so bad today? why cant you be a goodgirl and-“

“Red!” you choked out a sob as more tears fell from your face staining the bed sheets beneath you. sitting up, your palms resting on your thighs as you sobbed. the room went silent with the only sound present being your soft cries alongside with your occasional sniffles. confused he lifted your chin up, you pathetically looked up at him like a helpless little puppy. he finally understood what was wrong, mumbling a few curses as he got closer to you, sitting you on his lap as you cried into his chest.

“easy now baby. i’m so sorry...” he whispered thanking whatever was above that he hadn’t lost you, feeling horrible for not picking up the obvious signs you weren’t in the mood for any of this.

“d-do you really wanna l-leave me?” your voice was hoarse from one getting your throat fucked and two crying. hugging you tighter and feeling nothing but regret. each cry you let out tugged at his heartstrings. he never wanted this how could he have been so blind? you were his little baby he wanted to protect every chance he got. now you were here. sobbing into his chest all because he didn’t realize you weren’t in the right mood today. 

“never prettygirl. i’d be devastated without you in my life... I didn’t mean that I promise.” he pulled you away from his chest to face you. kissing the few tears you had left on you. even with tears pampered all over your face, to him you still managed to be pretty. even if it hurt him since he was the reason for all this, you could tell he was on the brink of tears too. he couldn’t imagine a life without you without his precious girlfriend in his life he’d be a train wreck.

“i-i...i just wanted us to go nice and gentle tonight..i didn’t have a good day today..but i didn’t want you to be mad since you like it when its rough so..”

he let out a chuckle at your last sentence causing you to look at him in confusion. “yeah being rough is nice and all but its only nice when you’re in the right mindset for it. you should’ve told me you weren’t feeling it tonight baby. If you wanna get fucked nice and gently by me you should’ve just said so my love.” he says planting a kiss on your forehead.

you smiled, reverting back to your previously cheery self making kuroo more than happy. he rested his head on top your shoulder “if you want, we can try again baby. this time i’ll give it to you nice and sweet..you’d like that wouldn’t you my pretty baby?” he whispers into your ear planting kisses down your neck as you let out a whimper feeling him smirk against your neck.

“mm-mhm please tetsu...”

he wastes no time wrapping his arms around your waist as your cunt feels him hardening again. “whatever my baby wants who am i to deny?”

akaashi

- the thought of using your safeword never occurred to you when you were with akaashi

- in fact he suggested it just in case things took a turn you didn’t like

- tonight was different though you were his innocent girlfriend who just wanted to treat him the way he treats you so lovingly

- wearing nothing but his shirt accompanied by a cute pair of panties feeling confident about your plan to please your boyfriend.

- though it doesn’t go according to plan,

you saw him sitting on the bed reading a novel still in his formal clothing. You were feeling particularly needy tonight learning a few new things you read from the internet a week ago on how to please your boyfriend sexually. you did however feel a bundle of nerves fill you up, but you just assumed it was because this was something you’ve never done before to anyone.

akaashi was not only your first, but he was your first boyfriend your first everything when it came to romance. now, putting all your insecurities aside, you were going to try out what you learned tonight on your beloved boyfriend!

 walking towards him, you crawled on top of his lap, arms wrapped around his neck to pull him in for a sweet kiss. he smirked setting his book down on the nightstand while taking his glasses off as well.

“Can I help you pretty girl?” he questioned placing his hands on your hips. “oh nothing...i just want you tonight..is that okay?” you asked, your innocent voice making akaashi smile. you were just so cute and pure in his eyes. you jump in excitement ready to initiate your plan to please your boyfriend. you started kissing him slowly yet passionately, grinding your wet cunt against his slowly hardening cock through his pants.

he opened his eyes to clearly understand what you were doing. to his shock what he assumed was correct. His innocent girlfriend who had no knowledge on how to please her boyfriend grinding up against him. maybe you were just being extra needy? he told himself. not longer after he snapped back to reality as he felt you pull away from him only to kiss down his jaw leaving a trail of soft kisses.

His cheeks becoming red as your soft lips traced down to unbutton his shirt. “so handsome..” You said kissing his chest as you went down to his abdomen. he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this, but.... Your not gonna do what he thinks you are right?? his own girlfriend who was too shy who cried at the first attempt to sucking him off?? no he must be getting ahead of himself.

looking down once more to check up on you, he finds you unbuckling his pants letting his cock spring free. his mouth agape seeing your head already lick his precum nice and clean, pumping him a few times to get all his precum out. he shudders as your wet tongue touches his cock, giving him kitten licks here and there. taking a deep breath, shoving him down your throat all in one go, a small gag escaping from you, squeezing your eyes tightly trying your best not to cry.

humming, you bobbing back and forth making him grunt at the waves of pleasure you were giving him. Still, he felt uneasy. who taught you this?? he was always the one guiding you, teaching you how to do things yet here you were sucking him down your pretty little throat. head thrown back his groans mixed with his thoughts, he kept overthinking the reasons as to how you picked up on this.

did Bokuto teach you?? you two always got along so well..sometimes leaving akaashi to third wheel, but why was he thinking about that now??

 “shit..” he grunted as he felt his high approaching. He tried to pull your head back so he wouldn’t end up cumming in your mouth, but you stayed on his cock till he came.

smiling at him, you licked your lips, swallowing his cum. leaving him surprised at everything you’ve just done. you’ve never did any of this nor tried to. It hurt the first time you tried to give him head now here you are taking him down your throat? He couldn’t believe it.

he wanted to get to the bottomed of this quickly.

“dirty girl.” he spits out flipping you to the other side of the bed, pushing your head down to the pillow putting your ass up with your cunt in full display for him. you winced at the sudden aggressive force.

“who taught you all those things you little slut?”hooking his finger onto your soaked panties to push them aside, he shoved two fingers deep inside of your dripping hole making you whimper at the painful stretch, not giving you enough time to adjust as he pumped into you.

“k-keiji w-wait!!” you whined screwing your eyes shut to fight back your tears, while he started pumping his fingers at an inhuman pace, he hovered over you, your back to his chest while his head rested on your shoulder.

“i asked you a question, so I expect an answer.” his voice was cold and stern without a sound of love or worry. the stretch of his fingers were painful especially with how he was practically scissoring you open. your eyes rolled at to the back of your head feeling your climax approaching, but it hurt so much you weren’t used to such a rough pace.

akaashi always took his time with you. Going slow and easy, praising you, calling you his angel or goodgirl for taking him in so well. but now he was none of these things.this felt like a completely different person to what you were use to.

“mm’ n-no one! keiji- p-please s-slow down it hurts!!” you sobbed only making him click his tongue at you, your heart sank feeling foggy and uneasy.“you probably like that it hurts huh? you’re dripping around my fingers you filthy slut.” he never used a tone as harsh as this before. never calling you names or degrading you in general. the pain in your chest overlapping the pleasure as more tears fall.

“n-no not a s-slut!! p-please stop! it hurts please keiji please-“ you begged feeling your stomach tighten as he kept fingering you till you screamed, squirting all over the bed sheets. “dirty slut.” He pulled out abruptly from you causing you to choke out another sob. your body trembling at this point as you pant out in desperation to form words scared of what he might do next. “N-no more please I’ll be good i p-promise just please..” you begged him once again, hoping he’d notice the pain you were in...he didn’t.

“no. sluts like you don’t get to make decisions like that.” He was about to pull your shirt off until you screamed and kicked  “red! red! r-red!!” he moved away only to watch you curl in on yourself, hugging your knees for comfort, refusing to look him in the eyes. “baby..?” he said softly trying to move you to face him to his horror you flinched shrinking in on yourself.

“keiji... why were you s-so...mean to me i only wanted to make you feel good..you always make me feel good so why did you..” immediately, he scooped you into his arms rocking you back and forth as if you were a toddler. you cuddled up against his chest as he felt your tears fall on his chest.he didn’t mind of course. “shh its okay..its okay..” the voice he commonly spoke to you coming back, soft, reassuring, just how you liked it.

“baby..im sorry i.. I didn’t mean to be so mean..i just got scared you were maybe..well someone might’ve been teaching you these things..” you froze pulling away to look at him.

“w-what? I didn’t learn that from anyone..id never let anyone teach me or touch me but you keiji! i just..read some stuff about it online...and I wanted to test it out..” you admitted through sniffles still rubbing your tears away. He sighed as he hugged you again running his fingers through your hair. 

all you wanted was to please your boyfriend from just that, his heart skipped a beat at how sweet you were being, but the feeling was overshadowed by  feeling so stupid for letting his insecurities take the best of him.

“I’m sorry baby.. I promise to never speak to you like that ever again..you’re my sweet girl and I love you so so much.. you were just trying to do something nice for me..thank you i appreciate it my love..it felt really nice you did good.” He cupped your face in his hands, peppering soft kisses around your face.

he smiled as you giggled at the ticklish feeling, sighing in relief.

“ i love you, my sweetgirl. ”

Iwaizumi

- he got home pissed off since he saw you chatting and giggling with mattsun. 

- he needed to blow off some steam

- he didn’t mean to be so mean he really didn’t

-he was usually a soft dom but today..he was everything but soft to you.

“ filthy fucking whore. what were you doing talking to mattsun huh?” his thrusts were sharp, painful, not being prepped well enough by him making the stretch of his cock burn through your gummy walls. feeling the air in your lungs start to leave you slowly as tears streamed down your face at iwaizumis cold , heartless, tone. there was not a single trace of him, not a sign of his love. you weren't trying to make him jealous, you just spend sometime to get to know mattsun just a little more since he was friends with your boyfriend never expecting him to react like this. 

snapping back to your current situation, you arched your back letting out a loud cry as he slapped your puffy clit. “didn’t i ask you a fucking question? or did your dumb slutty brain already get fucked out of you huh?” he wrapped his hands around your throat thrusting harder and deeper in you. 

his tip painfully hitting your cervix with each thrust making you cry at the pain. you tried pushing him off with the little strength you had in you, sobbing out an apology making him roll his eyes. 

“tch, what? you think a little apology is gonna change the fact you were all “buddy buddy” with mattsun? did you forget who fucking owns you little slut?” landing another harsh slap at your clit causing you cry in discomfort. everything around you made you feel light as if you were gonna pass out from the cruel words iwaizumi spoke to you. feeling helpless as there was no sign of your once loving boyfriend. 

“maybe i should’ve invited him over, let him have a turn at ruining your slutty little cunt.”

Finally, having enough you cried out “r-red..” it was soft, gentle, easily could’ve been unheard if it wasn’t for how closely iwaizumi payed attention to you. he halted his thrusts pulling out of you completely, eyes draining of all lust and jealousy converting to concern mixed with regret. he rushed to put back his boxers on, cuddling you against his chest. 

you didn’t push him away, no you could never. he was the man you loved and treasured more than anything. you were hurt obviously, but still wanted to seek his comfort.

“i-i dont like m-mattsun haji..i only like you..only you..” your voice sounding broken. he let out a deep sigh pulling you closer to kiss your head. 

“i know baby i know... i was just jealous..you get along so well with mattsun i..went too far on you..i’m sorry you didn’t deserve that baby” his voice sounding faint but full of comfort.

“i just wanted to get t-to know him...i didn’t mean to make you mad haji..”

“i know baby shhh its okay now..i’m not mad anymore.”he cooed kissing you softly. you nodded letting your last set of tears fall onto his chest. 

slowly shutting your eyes and falling asleep in the warmth of his chest.

him on the other hand was completely mortified at your sobbing accompanied with your sniffles it echoed through his ears replaying like a broken record each time the memory got to you saying your safeword. 

“r-red..”

he never thought he’d reach that point for you to have to tell him that. he let out a few tears that night hating himself for hurting you. you forgave that very second he apologized but him on the other hand? he didn't..no he couldn’t.

let’s just say, he didn't get much sleep that weekend. 

akaashis is long asf (im sorry i just love him sm) and iwaiuzmis is short but i love these boys sm.  

i still am taking requests all links are above and down here. remember to drink water. oh and heres the m.sterlist  in case you missed it <3♡

[womenstan]

One More Night - P.4

Let Me Forget You

Summary "Now, Sander held the power of breaking this thing off whenever and leaving Robbe a mess again. But, Robbe had decided he wasn’t going to let that happen. He wasn’t just going to sit still and look pretty until Sander decided he’d had enough of him. Besides, it was nothing more than sex between them. He could live without it, or find it elsewhere.

He was going to stop this thing and he was going to move on.

How difficult could it be, right?"

Part four of one more night

Robbe had always been one to overthink things, to let them stew and simmer in his mind for hours on end, until they either stopped making sense or managed to completely freak him out.

This time, it was the latter. He hadn’t meant to keep thinking about Sander, or, rather, the feelings the simple mention of that name evoked in him. Yet, here he was, two days later, unable to focus on anything else.

He’d known since the beginning that they were walking a very thin and dangerous line and that this was never going to end well, but now he was starting to realize he might have a lot more to lose here than Sander did.

He’d tried to ignore it, push it to the farthest corners of his mind, but to no avail. He knew that once he would enter Sander’s vicinity, his brain would lose all sense of logic and he’d just end up repeating the same mistake again and again and again… until Sander got bored and ditched him again, probably.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to resist, but simply ignoring Sander didn’t seem to be an option, as they constantly ended up in each other’s way. So, he couldn’t ignore him, but there was no way he was going to let Sander win this either.

The angry, fiery sex was great. No, it was beyond amazing and by far the best Robbe had ever had. He was like an addict who needed his fix and that gave Sander the upper hand over him, which Robbe really, really hated. He’d walked right into it too, promising himself he’d never have anything to do with that guy again, before jumping into his bed, both figuratively and literally.

Now, Sander held the power of breaking this thing off whenever and leaving Robbe a mess again. But, Robbe had decided he wasn’t going to let that happen. He wasn’t just going to sit still and look pretty until Sander decided he’d had enough of him. Besides, it was nothing more than sex between them. He could live without it, or find it elsewhere.

He was going to stop this thing and he was going to move on.

How difficult could it be, right?

----

Turns out the answer was: very fucking difficult.

Not only did they attend the same university, but they also both followed classes in the same wing and hung out at the same parties.

Robbe managed to avoid Sander at school by only showing up to his classes and never hanging out at the library afterwards, but this solution could only last so long. So, he needed a plan.

“Milan, what? I’m not going to fuck some guy just to get over this thing with Sander!” Robbe exclaimed, incredulous.

Milan sighed, sitting down next to him on the bed while throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. “Fine, Robbe, be boring, then!”

Robbe huffed at that, already regretting coming to Milan for advice. Milan crossed his arms, pouting, before turning his back to Robbe. They stayed in silence for a bit, as Robbe was starting to consider having to switch universities to get out of this.

Suddenly, Milan spun back towards Robbe, grabbing him by the arms in excitement. Robbe arched one his eyebrows in question, prompting Milan to inhale dramatically.

“Ok, I have a solution,” Milan said, which only made Robbe scrunch his face in doubt. “And before you ask, no , it doesn’t involve sex or illegal activities.”

Now, Robbe’s curiosity was piqued. “Go ahead, but I swear if you suggest your cousin aga-“

“No, no, I swear! How was I supposed to know he was married, Robbe, seriously!” Milan interrupted, waving Robbe off. “ Anyways , no, I’m talking about Theo .”

Robbe felt his hopes get crushed all at once. “Milan, no. I can’t.”

Milan tutted him, but Robbe just kept shaking his head in disbelief. “No, Milan, that guy has, like, genuine feelings. I can’t just use him for this!”

Theo was a barista at the university’s small student café. At first, Robbe had thought he was simply extremely nice, but his kindness had escalated into flirting quickly enough. He was very obviously interested in Robbe and he wasn’t even trying to be subtle about it. And the thing was that he was far from ugly. Theo was a little taller than Robbe and objectively handsome with his side-swept brown hair and his deep blue eyes that seemed to read into your soul when he looked at you. He was also really nice, which might actually be part of the problem. He was so, so, nice that he ended up being quite… boring. Every time Robbe stopped to grab a coffee, he prayed to every single God he could remember that Theo wouldn’t get the guts to ask him out. So far, he’d been safe.

See, Robbe wasn’t good at saying no to people. He hated seeing the hurt on their faces and he felt guilty every time he’d see them again. So, he was pretty sure he’d end up saying yes if Theo proposed a date and he really didn’t think he could survive going out with Theo without falling asleep on him.

So, he couldn’t just use him to get over Sander. He wasn’t that kind of person.

Milan got up and walked towards the door without saying a word, which only aggravated Robbe even more.

“I won’t do this to him, Milan!”

-----

And he really, really wasn’t going to. But then, as he was walking to his last class the next day, he caught sight of a sliver of white hair out of the corner of his eyes and his brain kind of just stopped working.

He couldn’t even think about escaping before Sander’s gaze had met his.

“Robin. Long time no see.” Sander said. He didn’t even bother smirking to smooth his tone over, all coldness and anger that sent chills up Robbe’s spine.

Robbe laughed dryly, his otherwise good mood crushed in an instant. “Yeah, too bad you decided to ruin it, hm?”

Sander stepped closer to Robbe, making him take some tentative steps back towards the wall. The corridors were mostly empty now, most students having already reached their classes. Robbe should definitely follow suit if he doesn’t want to be late, which he definitely doesn’t, considering how strict this teacher is and how behind he is in the course. But it’s as if his body stopped obeying his mind, his feet rooted in place as if cemented into the floor.

“How long are we gonna keep playing cat and mouse for?” Sander said, voice low and hoarse, letting Robbe know he was actually pissed off by Robbe’s avoidance.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

If Robbe had thought Sander was mad before, it was nothing compared to now. His eyes had gone dim and narrow and if the way his breathing became more labored was any indication, Robbe was in trouble.

He looked to his left, then to his right, but Sander’s body was pretty much crowding him, making it impossible for Robbe to simply walk away without a confrontation.

“Oh, really? ‘Cause that’s not what you were saying last week when you couldn’t get your hands off me at that party and I had to drag your drunk ass home.”

Robbe’s head snapped back to Sander’s, now angry as well. “Fuck off, I was drunk. Of course I’d try to go for someone like you.”

Sander’s hands slammed the wall on each side of Robbe’s head, making him flinch slightly. They were so close by now that Robbe could feel Sander’s hot breath on his face, which was only slightly distracting him from the hurt that flared in Sander’s gaze.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Sander asked, practically growling with anger.

If it was anyone else, Robbe might have felt bad about what he’d insinuated. But this was Sander and making Sander angry only resulted in making Robbe even angrier.

Raising his chin to match Sander’s height, Robbe locked his eyes with his, trying to appear as unbothered as he could. “Someone who’d fuck anything with a heartbeat,” he spat out, smirking at the way Sander’s face fell.

“Shut the fuck up,” Sander said, eyes closed and sounding out of breath.

Robbe’s brain was no longer thinking logically, completely wrapped up in the tension electrifying the air between them.

“Make me then.”

And for once, Sander didn’t respond with some snarky remark to one-up Robbe. He just dived right in.

Fumbling behind Robbe, Sander pushed open a nearby door, gripping Robbe’s shirt and pulling them in. He shut the door close with his right foot, shoving Robbe against a shelf roughly.

Robbe winced a little as he was sent backwards, preparing himself for the landing, but Sander managed to slip his hand behind his head just in time to avoid a collision. Robbe sighed in relief, but the end of his sigh was caught by Sander’s mouth on his, harsh and demanding.

Instinctively, Robbe’s hands went up to Sander’s hair, twisting his fingers in the strands and pulling in desire. Sander’s moan was barely audible, swallowed somewhere in their kiss. As Sander’s tongue found its way to Robbe’s mouth, his fingers slipped to Robbe’s waist, holding him tightly against the shelf.

The room was entirely silent, apart from the wet sound of their mouths gliding together and the occasional whimper from either of them. Robbe had closed his eyes as soon as he’d felt Sander push him back into the room, but as Sander’s mouth navigated to his neck, he took the time to look at their surroundings.

Sander had ushered them into a closet, buckets and mops laying all around as the air smelled distinctly of cleaning products. It was dark, the only light coming from the small crack under the closed door and Robbe could barely make out where he ended and where Sander started.

His train of thoughts was quickly interrupted by Sander’s teeth sinking into the delicate skin of his neck, pulling and sucking. His head fell back against the self as his eyes rolled back a little, overwhelmed with the sensations. He was really glad for Sander’s hands on his waist keeping him upright, because he was pretty sure they were about to give out.

As Sander kept sucking his way along Robbe’s neck, Robbe brought his hands down to the hem of Sander’s shirt, pulling a little. Sander seemed so absorbed in his task that he didn’t react to Robbe’s touch, forcing him to physically get Sander’s head away from his neck.

“Sander,” Robbe said, as Sander just grunted, clearly annoyed he’d been interrupted. “Sander. Shirt off.”

That seemed to wake Sander up from his daze, as he quickly got rid of his shirt, before removing Robbe’s in one swift move. The second Robbe’s shirt hit the floor, Sander’s mouth was already back on him, making its way down his chest.

Robbe had to stifle a moan with his hand when Sander got to the edge of his pants, sucking yet another bruise there. Sander was taking his time, clearly enjoying the way he could make Robbe squirm with his mouth.

Robbe’s hands had found a home in Sander’s hair, pulling especially hard to make Sander go faster. It had the reverse effect, as Sander slowed his sucking down to come soothe the mark with his tongue, licking slowly over Robbe’s skin.

Robbe whined a little, annoyed at how slow this was going. Sander chuckled, clearly amused at how eager Robbe was to move this along and decided he’d made Robbe suffer enough.

In an instant, his hands were on Robbe’s belt, struggling with the buckle for a few seconds before harshly pulling it out of its hoops and throwing it behind him carelessly. Sander hooked his fingers in both Robbe’s jeans and underwear, tugging them down in one swift move as he dropped to his knees.

Sander’s hands gripped Robbe’s waist hard, making sure he wasn’t going to move. As Robbe brought one of his hands to Sander’s neck, the other still twisted in his hair, he felt Sander breath heavy on his skin. He barely had a moment to register the heat before Sander’s mouth wrapped around him, all warm and wet. All Robbe could feel was pure bliss, closing his eyes shut as Sander moved his head back and forth.

He’d had sex with other guys before Sander, but right now, he couldn’t remember a single one of them. It was like Sander’s mouth had wiped his slate clean at the first flick of his tongue.

Robbe’s muscles ached from how hard he was clenching them, and he could feel his toe curling in his shoes. It was so unbelievably good that it had made Robbe forget all about the promise he’d made to himself.

That’s what Sander did to him, he made him throw all caution out the window and indulge himself in this bad, bad, mistake.

Because that’s what this was: a mistake.

As Sander moved his head a little faster, Robbe’s brain started screaming danger at him, making panic rise up in his chest.

“Sander. Sander! Wait, wait, wait, stop,” Robbe stuttered out, pushing at Sander’s shoulders.

Sander immediately pulled back, his eyes wide and worried. Robbe hurried to pull his pants back up, refusing to even look Sander’s way.

“Robbe?” Sander asked, voice low and careful.

He took a tentative step towards Robbe who immediately threw his hands up to stop him. “Don’t.” Robbe bent down to pick his shirt up, throwing it on carelessly. “It’s fine, I’m fine, I just have to… go.”

With that, he practically ran for the door, knocking over one of the mops on the way. Sander just stared at him, confusion, but mostly concern, written all over his face.

As he opened the door and stepped out, Robbe had to fight the urge to look back at Sander, instead choosing to swallow his shame and hurry out of the room, out of the corridor and out of the school.

----

After the complete humiliation that had been, Robbe swore to Milan he was never going to show his face again to uni. He was just going to have to change university, or even country, to make sure he’d never have to cross paths with Sander again. There was no other choice.

But there actually was another choice, which Milan kindly reminded him of.

Theo.

So, here Robbe was, nervously fiddling with his headphones as he queued at the small café where he knew Theo was working today. He knew that because he’d usually try to avoid coming in at this time, just so he’d be sure he wouldn’t be subjected to Theo’s flirting. Today, though, he was hoping for the exact opposite.

“Welcome to Café Het Hoekje, how may I—” Theo began, raising his head at the same time and coming to an abrupt stop as his gaze fell upon Robbe. “Oh! Robbe!”

He straightened up a bit, his bored expression transforming into a radiant smile. “Hey, how are you?”

Robbe ran a hand through his hair, a habit he couldn’t seem to shake, and smiled back at Theo. “Hey! Yeah, I’m good, you?”

Theo nodded enthusiastically, seeming overjoyed that Robbe cared enough to ask him how he’d been. That made Robbe’s stomach twist uncomfortably.

“Yeah, I mean, it was fine. I’m better now that you’re here.” Theo added, punctuating his sentence with a wink.

Robbe chuckled slightly, already wondering if he should just order coffee as usual, leave and forget all about his plan.

Theo leaned slightly on his forearms, shortening the safe distance the counter between the two of them provided.

“I missed you,” He said, whispering so only Robbe would hear.

Theo had always been very forward in his flirting and Robbe was more than expecting it, but he still blushed a little. It was now or never, so Robbe inhaled deeply, before putting on his most charming smile.

“Me too. Say, how about we grab some coffee after your shift?” Robbe asked, trying his hardest to stop his voice from shaking as he spoke. His mind was begging for him to stop, but Robbe simply ignored it, smiling a little more and shoving his hands inside his pockets so he’d stop playing with the hem of his jacket.

Theo’s face was almost comical, as his eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped open. He stayed frozen in place for a few seconds, as if he was expecting Robbe to laugh and say it was just a joke. Theo shook himself out of it, coughing awkwardly before immediately letting out a quick series of ‘yes.’

Robbe took pity on him, asking him when he was off and promising he’d be back for him then. Theo answered each question a beat too late, as if in a daze.

When Robbe made to leave the café, he heard Theo shout after him, half-walking, half-jogging up to him, a piece of paper in his hand.

“Robbe! Here, my number. Just in case,” he said, his tone assured, having clearly regained his confidence on his way over.

Robbe smiled, grabbing the paper and sliding it inside his pocket. He thanked Theo, who just winked at him again, before walking back towards the counter. Robbe watched him go, smiling a little to himself, proud that his plan had so easily worked. As he pushed through the door and breathed the soft outside air, he felt like maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t going to regret this.

Sadly, that feeling didn’t last long. As soon as he sat down facing Theo, a steaming cup of cappuccino in his hands, the worries came back to him like a slap in the face. He was worried about hurting Theo, about getting over Sander, about not getting over Sander. The more he tried to forget about it, the more he ended up relating everything to him. It was like Sander had lodged itself in a corner of his mind and now refused to leave. He had a Sander shaped squatter in his brain and he was really getting fed up with it.

“Robbe?” Theo said, slowly, bringing Robbe out of his thoughts so abruptly he almost felt whiplash.

Robbe sent him a sorry smile, before asking him to, please , repeat what he’d said. Theo shook his head while laughing, as if Robbe had just told him something unbelievably funny. From the look in Theo’s eyes, Robbe wouldn’t doubt he thought Robbe was too absorbed by him and stopped listening to look. God, he felt like such a fucking asshole.

“I just asked how your classes were going,” Theo finally said, still wearing a proud smirk, not unlike the ones Sander sent him time after time. On Theo, however, it simply looked wrong. While it suited Sander, as if his face was molded to accomodate a smirk, Theo’s looked uncomfortably twisted.

“Yeah, I’m really busy, but other than that, it’s going fine,” Robbe answered, barely managing to lift the corner of his lips high enough to qualify for a smile. “I mean I have this really stressful exam thursday in the hall…”

Theo nodded solemnly at that. “Ah, semi-finals, right?” Robbe nodded, sighing a small ‘yeah.’ “When’s yours, in the morning?”

“Nah, thank God. I’m from one to four pm,” Robbe said, feeling his eyes drift to the side despite himself. They weren’t alone, but the café was empty enough that he probably wouldn’t be meeting anyone he knew. He was glad for that sense of intimacy, because he wasn’t sure he’d know how to explain what he was doing with ‘won’t-stop-flirting-with-me-please-help-jens-I’ll-literally-pay-you’ Theo to one of his friends.

Theo nodded again, sipping his own drink carefully. He opened his mouth to speak, but seemed to hesitate before any word could leave his mouth. He breathed deeply, as if to steel himself, and now Robbe was starting to get properly nervous.

“Look, Robbe, I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be one hundred percent honest, alright?” Robbe gulped hard, nodding his head nonchalantly, despite his heart rising up to his throat. Theo knew. Somehow, he knew that Robbe was using him and this whole thing would fail.

“So… Do you, like, have a boyfriend?” Theo asked finally, refusing to meet Robbe’s eyes.

Robbe frowned, taking a few seconds to process what Theo had just asked him, before starting to laugh.

“A boyfriend? What? No way!” Robbe answered, stifling his laugh awkwardly with a slight cough.

Theo’s face lit up instantly, as he straightened his back and brought his eyes back to Robbe. Green eyes, just like Sander. Well, not nearly as beautiful.

“Oh? Great, that’s great! I just saw you with this guy at a few parties, so I thought…” Theo trailed off, scratching his neck.

Robbe furrowed his eyebrows, unsure he understood what Theo was talking about.

“Guy? What guy?”

Theo half-shrugged, giving Robbe a lopsided smile. “The blonde guy? From Arts?” Sander.

“Sander?” Robbe asked, prompting Theo to nod hesitantly. “God, no, Sander isn’t my boyfriend. I mean, we… you know, a couple of times, but there were zero feelings there.”

Theo laid his right hand over his heart, dramatically exhaling. “Good. That’d be too bad.”

Robbe smiled, giving him a small nod. Yeah… too bad .

----------

“No, Jens, you don’t understand. I had to order three cups just to make sure I wouldn’t fall asleep on him!” Robbe said, laughing along with the other boys.

Jens laid a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, giving him a serious look. “What about the plan then?”

Robbe sighed, shaking himself out of Jens’s grip. “Man, fuck the plan.”

That got him another round of laughs and a clap on the back from Moyo, whose approval didn’t actually feel good at all.

“It was a shit plan from the start, anyway,” Jens added. Robbe nodded vehemently, before plopping himself down next to him at the table.

Moyo clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention. “So, guys, time for serious matters now,” he paused, turning to look at each of their clueless faces, before he sighed and continued, “Tomorrow’s party, jongens!”

The three other boys cheered him on, Robbe included. A party was exactly what he needed to forget the Theo Fiasco. He’d get really, really drunk, so he could, one, not think about Theo and, two, not sleep with Sander in inadvertance. It was essentially a fool-proof plan.

“God I can’t wait to get laid!” Aaron said in a whiny voice, which only made everyone erupt in laughter again.

“Aaron, you’re as likely to get laid as Jens is to graduate in time,” Moyo said, laughing at his own joke as Aaron just looked away, defeated. Jens mocked him, saying Moyo wasn’t anywhere near any of those two things, which only resulted in Moyo’s protesting.

“Man, for someone who loves teasing so much, you really can’t take a joke,” Jens said, shaking his head with a smile.

Moyo smiled as well, shrugging. “A man’s gotta defend his honour, Jens.”

They all went back to their phone, scrolling aimlessly. Robbe was jumping from profile to profile on Instagram, trying to find anything that would capture his attention. When he fell upon a picture of Theo smiling with the caption ‘To new beginnings!’, he closed the app, shut his phone off and slid it in his pocket, sighing.

“Guys, who’s keeping the stash this time? I don’t want to have to run from the police again like last time because you’re a bunch of cowards,” Robbe said. At their last party, Moyo had gotten too scared and chucked the weed at him. A cop had seen the interaction and started approaching Robbe who, naturally, ran out of the back of the house. He heard shouts following him, but he just ran until he couldn’t feel his lungs, satisfied when he realized he’d lost the cop somewhere along the way.

Moyo groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “Can’t we just decide that at the party?” Robbe opened his mouth to retort, but he was immediately interrupted.

“Party? What party?”

Robbe’s head whipped to the side, only to find Theo, fucking Theo , standing right next to their table, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was clearly interrupting something.

Robbe turned towards Jens, sending him a panicked look, silently trying to convey that he shouldn’t mention the party. To his demise, Jens just smiled back at him, clearly intending to have some fun at Robbe’s expense.

“Hey Theo! Good to see you, man!” Jens said, exchanging a handshake with him. “We’re going to a party friday night, I’m sure Robbe told you all about it, right?”

If looks could kill, then Jens would be dead and buried, from the way Robbe was trying to drill holes into his skull with his stare.

Theo shifted uncomfortably on his feet, turning to Robbe in question. “Uh, no, he hadn’t?”

Fucking Jens. He was so going to pay for this.

Robbe tried to swallow back his anger as best as he could, before turning towards Theo and offering him a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah, I was just about to text you, actually. D’you wanna come with?” Robbe asked, silently praying Theo would be otherwise occupied.

However, he could feel his hope shrivel up and die inside of him as Theo smiled brightly and nodded. “Yeah! Of course. I’ll pick you up around seven and we can pregame together?”

Robbe coughed, trying to hide his eagerness to end this conversation as he racked his brain for an excuse.

“Eh, I’m actually already pregaming with my friends, but I’ll meet you there?” Robbe said, hoping Theo wouldn’t try to get himself invited to the pre-party too.

Thankfully, he didn’t, smiling again, always , before agreeing to meet him there around nine.

As soon as Theo was out of earshot, Robbe turned to Jens furiously.

“Seriously Jens! You’re a fucking asshole!”

Jens just laughed, sending Robbe a look that suggested Robbe might have been an asshole too. Sighing, Robbe let his head drop in his arms, facing the table and closed his eyes.

“Fuck my life.”

-----------

Robbe hadn’t managed to get drunk at the pre-party like he’d planned to. The boys had hogged the beers at first, relenting a grand total of two beers to Robbe, claiming he had to be sober to meet Theo.

Robbe really needed to find new friends.

So, here he was, sitting on a couch with his third beer in, like, four hours, and bored out of his mind. He watched the people come and go, dancing in the middle of the room or making out in darkened corners. The walls were illuminated by a soft glow, emanating from tiny colourful led lights stuck all around. The stereo was playing some rap song Robbe didn’t know the name of, but he didn’t mind. He wasn’t even paying attention to the music.

Ever since they’d entered the party about half an hour earlier, Robbe had been on the lookout for a familiar strike of white. He hadn’t realized he’d been searching for him at first, but once he did, he chucked it off to habits and went to sit down where he was still currently sipping his drink.

He leaned his head backwards on the couch, closing his eyes slowly. Theo had texted him a few minutes ago that he was almost there, so Robbe’s peace was sure to be short-lived. He could try and escape, but he already felt like the biggest asshole on Earth, so he wasn’t going to also stand him up.

He’d meet Theo, have a few drinks with him and then excuse himself by making up some bullshit excuse and he’d go home to wallow in his own misery alone.

Feeling a light tap on his left shoulder, Robbe opened one of his eyes to peek at the person who’d decided to interrupt his small repose.

Theo , of course. At least now he could get this over with and get back to his bed.

“Hey! Sorry for the wait,” Theo greeted him, with his ever-lasting smile. Robbe wondered if he’d keep smiling if he told him why Robbe had even asked him out to begin with.

“No problem. I just…” Robbe gestured around him, unsure himself what exactly he was trying to say.

Theo sat next to him, their entire sides completely plastered to each other and Robbe felt a little like he was choking on air, and not in a good way.

They talked for a bit and in the time it took Robbe to even finish his beer, Theo had gone through more than a few unidentified sugary drinks, becoming more and more self-assured and talkative.

“Come dance!” Theo exclaimed, pulling on Robbe’s arm. Robbe shook his head, firmly sinking himself down further onto the sofa.

“No, no, I don’t dance”

Theo tutted him, unrelenting in his tugging. “Everyone dances! Come on, alsjeblieft…” Theo pouted, probably aiming to convince Robbe with his puppy eyes. The truth was, Robbe had invented that trick and he wasn’t about to be swayed by an amateur. However, he was tired and he had an inkling that Theo wouldn’t stop until he got Robbe up on that dancefloor.

So, up he went.

The song had moved on to something more upbeat and clubby, but Robbe couldn’t make his limbs move in any way that resembled dancing unless he was properly hammered, which, again, he wasn’t.

Theo really didn’t seem to mind though, as he was dancing closer and closer to Robbe. As Theo’s hands came in contact with Robbe’s skin, his own hands instinctively rose up to the other’s hair.

He tried to push his thoughts away, but he couldn’t help comparing it to what he knew best: Sander. Theo’s hair was shorter and while it was well kept, it lacked the distinctive softness Sander’s had. It didn’t please Robbe’s fingers the way Sander’s did and when he tugged on the strands a little, the sound that escaped Theo’s mouth filled Robbe with disappointment. It didn’t make him hot all over, it didn’t make him want to burrow his fingers even deeper, no, instead Robbe had to fight the urge to pull his hands back entirely.

When Theo brought one of his hands to Robbe’s neck, guiding his head towards him and leaning in, it took everything in Robbe not to push him away. Their lips met harshly, but it didn’t feel like it should. Like he knew it would with a certain someone else.

As their lips glided together, the kiss felt sloppy and where Robbe couldn’t get enough of Sander’s hands on him, Theo’s felt scorching and bruising. Theo pushed a little forward, trying to deepen their kiss, but Robbe leaned his head back and away a little to prevent access.

This didn’t seem to dether Theo, however, who just slowly slid his mouth on Robbe’s jaw, all the way to his neck. Robbe felt a little dazed, as if he was having an out of body experience. He could feel Theo pull onto a small bit of skin on his neck with his teeth, but he didn’t get the wave of pleasure that usually came with it. It wasn’t painful, it just… wasn’t very much. When Sander would get a hold of his neck, however… Robbe was pretty sure he could come simply from Sander sucking hickeys onto him.

Theo bit a little harder, probably trying to get some kind of reaction from Robbe. Robbe brought his hands up, intending to detach Theo from where he was sucking like a leech at his neck, but before he could reach Theo, he felt him back away quickly.

Confused, Robbe blinked a few times to make the room clearer. That’s when he saw that Theo hadn’t backed away, he’d been quite literally rippedaway from Robbe.

By none other than the blonde who’d been occupying Robbe’s brain himself.

“What the fuck, man!?” Theo shouted at Sander, panting as he tried to regain control of his breathing.

Sander wasn’t paying him any attention, though, all of his focus being on Robbe. He looked a little disheveled, his hair in disarray and his pupils blown. Robbe had seen him in a similar state before, but it was usually while they were right about to have sex, pleasure and anticipation written all over his features. Now, all he could see on Sander’s face was a heart-wrenching mixture of anger and betrayal.

“Sander? What… Why...?” Robbe started, unable to find the right words to voice his thoughts.

Sander’s gaze bore into Robbe’s and it was painful to maintain, but Robbe was unable to tear his eyes away, in a trance-like state.

Theo’s voice shook him out of it, cutting through the tension like a sharp knife.

“So you’re Sander, I thought that was you too, with the whole…” Theo looked Sander up and down with a slight scrunch of his nose. “Moody thing going on.”

Sander finally turned his head towards him, his jaw clenching as soon as his eyes landed on Theo.

“Stay away from this.” He turned back to Robbe, clearly unbothered by Theo’s presence. “I knew you were an ass—”

Theo cut him off, now sounding angry as well. “Just because Robbe doesn’t have feelings for you doesn’t mean you get to insult him like this.”

Robbe knew he should intervene, prevent the situation from escalating, but he felt frozen in place. His brain was in overdrive and he just felt like running away, but his legs refused to obey. So, he stared, helpless, as they bickered on.

“Ok, who the fuck are you exactly?” Sander growled at Theo, rising the volume of his voice even more. By now, they were practically screaming and Robbe was thankful for the loud music covering the exchange from prying ears.

Theo puffed his chest out a little, a gesture which would have made Robbe laugh under any other circumstance, staring right at Sander as he said, “His date. Who are you ?”

Sander’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline at the bold answer, but the surprise on his traits was soon replaced by conceit. He smirked, quirking his mouth in just the right way to seem insolent and charming at the same time.

To anyone else, Sander might have looked like he was going to make a silly joke, but Robbe knew him better than that.

“I’m the guy who had him screaming under me more times than I can count, but I guess Robbe failed to mention that, hm?” Sander answered, turning to Robbe, wearing his most innocent smile. “Right, Robbe?”

Robbe looked away, unwilling to play into Sander’s game, but also unable to deny what he’d said.

Sander turned back to Theo, whose face had turned completely red, both from embarrassment and anger, Robbe guessed.

“No, really, was it not a problem for you? I got worried my neighbours would send a formal complaint,” Sander laughed, dryly, his tone void of humour. At the sight of Theo’s reddened face and Robbe’s avoiding eyes, something lit up in Sander’s eyes, as if he’d just made the link he needed to deliver the last blow.

“Oh, have you not…? Oh, well that’s awkward, isn’t it?” Sander smiled, as Theo took a step towards him. Instead of backing away, Sander gave him a little pout, before letting out a small ‘Oops?’ that suggested he was anything, but sorry.

Robbe felt like he was boiling inside with shame, but, more than anything, he wanted this whole thing to be over. As he raised his foot to take a step between the two boys, he was cut off by Theo’s fist flying towards Sander.

Robbe let out a small scream, but Theo missed Sander by a good few inches. Robbe was about to sigh in relief, thankful Theo wasn’t sober, when he saw Sander reel his own arm back.

It happened like in slow motion. Robbe, standing there, dumbfounded, as Sander punched Theo square in the jaw, making him stumble a few steps to the side. Some blood fell into Theo’s hand and the mere sight of it sprung Robbe into action.

“Enough!” He screamed, making both boys turn to him. “You’re acting like two fucking macho idiots! You guys keep fighting it out, I don’t care, I’m going the fuck home.”

With that, Robbe turned on his heels, pushing through the swarms of bodies and heading straight for the door. He stomped his way down the alley, angry at Theo, at Sander, but mostly at himself.

As he reached the street, he could hear his name being called from behind, but he didn’t stop. He kept going, satisfied when the screaming stopped following him. He slowed down, feeling so overwhelmed he thought he might start to cry. As he came to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk, a familiar hand wrapped around his wrist, gently, but firmly turning him around.

It was Sander, of course it was. The only thing that kept Robbe from wretching his arm away from Sander’s hold was the creases of worry that were etched into his forehead. The anger from earlier was gone and the emotions whirling in Sander’s eyes gripped and pulled at Robbe’s heart.

“Robbe…” Sander started. His tone was low and calm, almost tender in the way it’d been last time when Robbe had  freaked out in the closet. It pained Robbe, probably a lot more than anger would have.

“Sander. I’m tired, ok, I just… Can we just not fight for one night?” Robbe pleaded, truly feeling like his bones suddenly weighed more than they should. He was tired, tired of this, tired of not knowing, tired of the push-and-pull, just so tired.

Sander stared at him for a beat, staying silent. Robbe sighed, starting to pull his arm away, but Sander held on.

“I don’t want to fight,” Sander said quickly, as if he was worried Robbe would run away if he took one second too long to answer. Robbe wasn’t even sure he had the energy left to walk, let alone run.

“Then what, Sander?” Robbe asked, trying to sound annoyed, but ending up somewhere between fatigue and worry.

This time it was Sander’s turn to sigh, running his free hand through his strands of hair.

“I’m sorry,” he said, finally, making sure he held Robbe’s gaze as he spoke. “For what I said, in there. I’m not sorry I punched that asshole,” Robbe gave him a warning look, but Sander just winked and kept going.

“I’m not. He deserved it. But I am sorry for what I said about you. I was angry and I had no right to say that. I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore.”As soon as he was done talking, Sander averted his eyes , refusing to see Robbe’s reaction to his words.

Robbe wasn’t sure what he was meant to think, but he knew one thing: he was exhausted of thinking.

So, he did the first thing that went through his mind, stepping closer to Sander and latching onto his lips.

Sander immediately responded, pressing back against Robbe’s lips. Their usual kisses were heated and filled with urgency, but this one was anything but. Their lips met softly and they kissed leisurely, savoring every second of it. As Sander’s hands came to their spot on Robbe’s waist, their creases almost imprinted there, Robbe broke the kiss off slowly. He quickly pecked Sander’s lips one more time, making the corner of his mouth twitch upwards.

“Come over?” Robbe asked, whispering. He felt like a single loud noise could shatter the bubble they made in the alley.

Sander rubbed his nose with Robbe’s softly, breathing out a ‘yes’ in the air between them.

The walk over to Robbe’s apartment was slow. They walked side by side, stopping from time to time to steal a kiss or two. Their smile was permanent and the air between them felt playful and void of its usual tension. Yet, it didn’t feel like anything was missing, on the contrary. Robbe felt full and light, as he raced Sander for the last mile to his front door.

Robbe won, obviously, but his words lacked their usual bite when he called Sander ‘slow as fuck’. They made their way upstairs, Robbe constantly having to shush Sander who was tripping over the stairs from trying to get up first.

“Sander!” Robbe screamed in a hushed voice, “I have roommates, be quiet!”

Sander only turned around briefly to offer him a toothy grin, before he’d go right back to his antics. Robbe laughed along, following him inside the apartment and all the way to his bedroom.

They took their shoes and jackets off, throwing them carelessly on the floor. Sander walked towards Robbe, making him take steps backwards until his knees hit the bed. He smirked up at Sander as he let himself fall ungraciously on the bed. Sander laughed, maneuvering him around a bit to comfortably climb over.

Sander’s face appeared right above Robbe’s, both smiling at each other like idiots. Sander raised his hand, slowly bringing it to Robbe’s face. He caressed the side of his face slowly, settling his palm over his jaw, right where the disappearing bruise of their distant fight remained.

Sander bent down, wetting his lips with his tongue right before he met Robbe’s mouth. That kiss was just like the one they’d shared outside of the party, slower and softer than their usuals, but just as passionate. Robbe brought his hand to Sander’s hair, tucking a strand behind his ear before brushing his fingers through it.

The familiar feeling made him smile into their kiss, which in turn made Sander lean his head back, one eyebrow raised in question.

“I missed your hair,” Robbe half-whined, tucking on a few strands to demonstrate his point. Sander snorted, resting his forehead on Robbe’s.

“Only my hair? I’m hurt,” Sander teased, but Robbe winced, hearing the honesty behind the banter.

Robbe held Sander’s entire face between his two palms, locking it in place. “No. I missed you too.” Robbe said, hoping that Sander could hear the honesty in his voice too.

Robbe saw something twitch in Sander’s eyes, like a crack in the wall he’d carefully built around himself. Sander nodded, serious, before his lips curved into yet another smirk.

“Oh, yeah? Any parts of me in particular?”

Robbe smiled, pretending to think it over. Sander took advantage of Robbe’s distraction to slide his free hand under his shirt, stroking his skin softly. Robbe’s muscles shifted under Sander’s palm and Robbe let out an involuntary gasp, making Sander look at him proudly.

“Yeah, your hands,” Robbe said quietly.

Sander smiled even more. “What else?” He asked, now bringing both hands under Robbe’s shirt, lifting it up slightly. Robbe curved his back a little to help Sander pull the shirt off. Robbe tucked at Sander’s shirt, removing it swiftly so he could have Sander’s hands on him again.

Without breaking eye contact, Sander lowered himself until his head was over Robbe’s chest, pressing his lips right above his stomach as he trailed his way down with open-mouthed kisses. Robbe sighed with satisfaction, sinking further in the mattress.

Suddenly, as Sander started sucking a bruise on his hip, Robbe remembered the singular hickey Theo had been trying to etch into his skin earlier. Tugging on Sander arms’, Robbe brought him back up to face him. Sander’s eyebrows were furrowed, probably wondering why Robbe was interrupting him.

“On my neck,” Robbe said, pointing the general direction of where Theo had been attached to his neck.

A look of recognition passed through Sander’s eyes as he looked at Robbe’s neck. Still, he asked, “Are you sure?”

Robbe nodded, giving a small smile as he admitted quietly, “I like yours better”.

Sander smiled brightly at Robbe, before diving back in. The second Sander started sucking on Robbe’s skin, Robbe knew it was right. His whole body lit up, a fire burning in his stomach, flames licking all the way up his body as Sander licked his way down.

Once Sander’s hands made it to Robbe’s jeans, it was a quick affair. Both of their pants were discarded in a matter of seconds, underwears quick to follow. Sander began to lower himself, stopping short of Robbe’s skin.

“This is ok, right?” Robbe nodded rapidly, whispering a small “Yeah, more than ok,” with a smile.

Sander grinned back, licking his lips before wrapping them around Robbe.

Robbe let out a small whimper as Sander started working his way up and down in precise motions. As he clenched his hands in Sander’s hair, Robbe felt a thick mist envelop his thoughts.

Hands sliding over skin, rough and needy.

Lips envelopping, soft and comforting.

Hair being tugged, harsh yet soothing.

And love being made, bruising yet tender.

Once they were both lying next to each other, blissed out and still trying to catch their breath, Robbe turned on his side, facing Sander.

“Your mouth,” Robbe said, hushed.Sander just hummed in question, unmoving.“You asked what else I’d missed. Your mouth, I’d missed your mouth.” Robbe admitted, smiling softly to himself.

That made Sander turn his head towards Robbe. He smiled too, idly caressing Robbe’s face.

“I missed your dick, mostly,” Sander said.Robbe chuckled and playfully pushed at his shoulder. Sander simply brought his arm over Robbe’s waist, bringing him even closer to his body. Robbe raised his head, laying it on Sander’s chest, right over his heart. The sound of his heartbeat, still a little too fast, was soothing and Robbe felt himself slowly slip into unconsciousness.

Just as he was about to fall asleep, Sander’s voice brought him back to the surface.

“Robbe?”

Robbe hummed, physically unable to move a single muscle.

“This, tonight… This means something right? Something more?” Sander asked, his voice laced with insecurities in a way that broke Robbe’s heart a little.

So, he snuggled closer, laying a small kiss over Sander’s heart before settling back down. “Yes,” he breathed, “It does.”

Robbe felt Sander shift a little under him, just as a kiss was laid atop his head.

And there, as they laid cuddled up together in Robbe’s bed, there was no doubt in Robbe’s mind that what he felt for Sander was so very far from hatred.

So, so very far.

[no-whump-on-main]

Apartment 307 (Elora Series)-3

Finally picked out a title! I was told “Apartment 307) sounded very Stephen King horror-esque and honestly that’s the dream so I’m going for it!

The hurt starts here so be warned.

TWs: Blood, fear of death, cutting/stabbing, graphic descriptions of a knife wound, mentions of stalking, mentions of vomiting

Special thanks to @sableflynn for being my cheerleader and letting me bounce ideas while I wrote this and @quirkykayleetam and @greatandquestionablecontent for title help!

also long chapter today yay

     Elora didn’t stop screaming until she ran out of breath and couldn’t go on a single second longer. The man lingering in the doorway looked incredibly irritated by that point.

     “It’s real early to be hollering like that,” he said, in that same deep, gravelly voice. Elora looked horrified, but he didn’t seem to care.

    “It’s only four in the morning.”

     Tears were starting to form in the corners of Elora’s eyes. She blinked them out just to get them away, despite the shame she felt for letting them flow.

     Clyde caught a glimpse of the fallen droplets, and felt a strange, warm feeling emanating in his gut.

     Elora swallowed and spoke next, her voice wobbly despite her best efforts to stay calm. “I have-I have money. That’s what you want, right? I have money. Plenty. My mom got a big insurance policy when my Dad passed and she put it all in a savings account for me to go to college, but I decided not to go, you can have it, it’s probably a few hundred thous-”

     The man suddenly screamed at her, and she flinched, her shoulders rising up and hugging her ears.

     “SHUT UP!” He shouted, his face going slightly red. Elora immediately shut her mouth, her entire body shaking. She was afraid to die. She couldn’t die yet, she wasn’t ready. She-

     “I don’t want your money,” he seethed. He seemed to be calming down from his initial outburst, which Elora was grateful for.

      “I don’t want your money, I don’t give a shit about it. I’m not gonna kill you either, okay? Just fucking listen. How about some ground rules, yeah?”

     He stepped forward, shutting the bathroom door behind himself. Elora looked on in terror, not wanting him to get any closer to her. A pit quickly formed in her stomach; if he didn’t want money, what did he want? If it was just money, she could be home by the end of the day. But it wasn’t that easy. Of course it wasn’t. 

      Elora sucked in a breath and closed her eyes, terrified as the man walked up until he was right in front of her.

     “Stop,” he warned. She re-opened her eyes and watched him carefully as he sat down on the closed toilet lid.

     “Rule number one,” he started. “Don’t talk back to me. You can speak when you’re spoken to. And I want you to shut the fuck up and listen while I explain this.”

     Elora’s eyes widened. She wanted to scream, to protest, but she knew in her head that she had to be smart. Getting him angry wouldn’t help her. She stayed quiet, chewing on her lip.

     “Rule two. You stay where I put you and keep out of shit that doesn’t belong to you. I’ll give you a hint-nothing here belongs to you. So keep your hands to yourself.”

     He paused, taking a long breath. In the silence, Elora noted that he smelled heavily of cigarettes.

     “Rule three. You can call me sir, if you have to refer to me at all. I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”

     The mere thought of that made Elora feel sick to her stomach.

     “And finally, rule four. You belong to me now, Elora, and the sooner you accept that, the easier this transition is gonna be on you.”

     Elora lost her handle on her emotions entirely. She knew she needed to be rational and level-headed to get out of this, but that last rule made her explode. She didn’t even know how he knew her name.

     “YOU’RE FUCKING CRAZY!” She shouted, bucking wildly against the chains keeping her locked in place in the bathtub. “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME! YOU’RE INSANE!”

     Her heart hammered rapidly in her chest. She was fighting the chains so hard she was already getting out of breath. “LET ME GO YOU CRAZY FUCK!”

     She was so distracted with useless attempts to free herself that she didn’t notice the man had stood up until his hand came down and slapped her roughly across the face. 

     “I told you to shut up,” he seethed. “You will respect me. Understand?”

     Her brow furrowed, filled with rage. “NO! YOU’RE CRAZY, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM! LET ME GO!”

     He silenced Elora with nothing but a look.

     “I do know you, actually. You just don’t know me.”

     Elora’s expression twisted and fell. 

     “You’re lying,” she said through her teeth.

     “Am I? Are you not Elora Lucille Larkin of 673 Seabrook Lane? Born February 18th, 1999? Daughter of Judith and Parker Larkin? Shame what happened to your dad, really. Cancer is a monster. And you were hardly 12, huh? Must have been rough. My condolences.”

     Elora’s jaw fell wide open. How did he-?

     “You like cats, too, don’t you? I have one here. Maybe she’ll help you adjust. And I know you like to work Tuesdays, because you haven’t had one off in months. God knows how long that pattern had been going on before I started watching, too.” He paused. “Are you really that stupid, Elora? I’d think you’d at least recognize my car by now. It’s been looming around practically everywhere you’ve gone since July.”

     Elora wanted to scream, but no noise would come out. Realization hit her like a train and she was completely mortified, frozen in shock. The sedan. Had he been following her? Was she stupid? If it had been following  that long, she would’ve recognized it, right? Since July. That was five months ago.

     But she didn’t recognize it. She could swear the first time she ever saw it was just before he kidnapped her.

     He stood. “But I’m just lying. You know, I must have made all that up.”

     Without another word, he turned and left the bathroom.

     “Don’t hold your breath. I’ll be back in a minute,” he called through the closed door.

     Elora had to force herself not to cry. She sucked in a breath, her chest so tight it was hard to breathe.

     The man was back within what felt like far less than a minute. She barely had time to process what she’d been told before he returned, holding a small potted aloe plant. 

     He walked over to her and she flinched back again, pressing her body against the farthest wall of the bathtub. He ignored her fearful cower, placing the plant down on the edge of the tub.

     “Grow it,” he commanded. His voice boomed through the small room.

     Elora’s brow furrowed with confusion, for a moment, before that emotion turned into realization, and then finally, strong-willed defiance.

     “What?” Her tone sounded genuinely puzzled, though it was just a ruse.

     “Grow the plant,” he repeated, his voice slightly angrier.

     Elora inhaled, having to clench her fists to keep her voice from wavering. 

     “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can’t just-”

     “Shut up,” he growled. “I know who you are and what you can do. Or have you forgotten?

     Shit.

     She abandoned the act, but didn’t give up on her adamant refusal.

     “No,” she told him. “You don’t tell me what to do, you sick fuck!”

     The man laughed again, breathy chuckles that made the hair on her arms stick up. “Oh, but I do. Don’t make me ask you again. Grow the goddamn aloe. I know you can.”

     This time, Elora didn’t reply. Instead, she spat at him. She was forced to sit in the bathtub while he stood, so she couldn’t get him in the face, but she did successfully aim for his hand. While not as bad as a face shot, it was still gross.

     He cursed and wiped his hand off on his pants, storming out of the bathroom. Elora almost smiled, pleased with herself.

     He was so angry that he didn’t bother closing the bathroom door. He turned on the lights in another room, and it was just bright enough for her to make out a kitchen and living room. And the front door, all the way back. If she could just get there-

     Soon. She would. It was a when, not an if. Soon.

     He ducked out of her sight for a good thirty seconds, leaving Elora to look around the small frame of view she had. She could tell it was an apartment, as everything was so compact, it had to be. It looked like a college kid’s apartment at that; it was sparsely decorated and filthy, with random trash on the floor and a thick coat of dust covering everything she could see.

     When he reappeared, the first thing she noticed was that he was holding a knife. It was huge-it looked like a butcher knife. Just the blade itself was easily the size of her forearm and looked sharpened. She swallowed. He didn’t say anything, just stormed towards her. He’s going to use it. He’s going to-

     “Okay, okay, I’ll grow the fucking p-”

     The man was deaf to her offer. It quickly devolved into a desperate plea.

     “Please, I’ll grow the fucking plant, stop-STOPSTOPSTOP YOU’RE CRAZY!” 

     She started to scream before he even hurt her, dread and anticipation and knowingness filling her as he ignored her begging.

     She couldn’t have anticipated the pain that came next. She knew it would hurt, but nothing in her life had ever been so painful. She felt every moment of her skin splitting apart as the blade slammed down against her right thigh, layers of her body just separating all at once. Her vision whitened for several seconds as her screams pierced even her own ears, the sharp sound agonizing as it reverberated in the room. Even Clyde winced at the noise, wondering if he had done too much too soon.

     No, she deserved it. I told her to follow instructions.

     Elora didn’t stop screaming for almost a full minute. Her chest heaved once she finished, gasping for air. The pain in her thigh was both sharp and throbbing, and constant. She realized she had wrenched her eyes shut in anticipation of receiving the wound, and part of her was scared to open them again and look at the damage.

     She opened just one eye at first, but the other quickly followed as she stared on in shock. The blade had easily slit her work khakis open, hardly phased by the barrier of the material.

     The cut looked at least  an inch wide, with little yellow bubbles lining the sides and making way for something that was smooth and reddish purple to be just barely visible in the bottom. Blood was gushing from it steadily, making it hard to tell too much about the true extent of it. She began to panic as the gravity of the situation hit her. Tears poured down her face as she turned her head and looked up at the man, fear constricting her chest. He was holding the now-bloodied knife by his side.

     “I- it-it’s bleeding,” she stammered out, stating the obvious. “It’s bleeding, I-please! Please, I-that’s a lot of b-blood, that’s bad, I need h-help! Please, I don’t want to-I don’t want to um-”

     Die. She doesn’t want to die. She’s scared.

     A choked sob tore from her throat as she found herself staring down at the wound again.

     “You’re fine,” the man said flatly.

     “NO! No, please, I need-”

     He sighed and left the bathroom like a petulant child.

     Elora sobbed in fear, looking at the puddle of blood that was already forming beneath her leg. 

     The man came back holding a small box and a hand towel. He tossed them both at Elora, careless of her inability to catch them. The corner of the box landed directly on top of the cut and she groaned, her teeth clenched as tears spilled from her eyes.

     He approached again, holding a small key. She looked on in horror as he undid the handcuffs, letting her right hand free but leaving her left still in one cuff, with just a small amount of give on the chain.

     Elora looked terrified. “What? I-”

     “I know you sew for fun,” he said casually, shrugging. “You make all sorts of stuffed animals, right, and donate ‘em? What a Mother Theresa you are. Anywho, this can’t be much different than patching up a tear in a teddy.”

     Her mouth dropped open in shock. She was acutely aware of the feeling of warmth steadily dripping down her thigh.

     He gave her an angry look.

     “Fix it,” he growled, and left.

     As soon as the door closed, Elora let out a loud sob, covering her mouth with her free hand. No. She can’t. Needles and threads for stitching people are different than ones for sewing, she can’t just do a stitch like she’s sewing fabric. She doesn’t know what to do.

     She interrupted her racing thoughts by looking down at the bloody gash. She had to. It was bleeding badly and she needed it to stop.

     Shakily, she took the towel he threw her and placed it over the wound, trying to soak up some blood so she could at least see what she was working with. The towel was originally tan, but a spot that was a deep shade of reddish brown formed in the middle of it within seconds of her laying over the wound.

     Inhaling deeply, she opened the sewing kit next. It was nothing fancy, just some needles, a seam ripper, some tiny scissors, and small spools of thread. She plucked the spool of white thread and the smallest needle in the box.

     Her hands were so shaky it was difficult to thread the needle. Come on. Come on, just-just-thread, come on-

     She finally got the thread through the eye of the needle. This is bad. It’s probably old, she’s going to get an infection, she could die.

     But there wasn’t another choice. She tied a tiny knot in the two loose ends of the thread and took a deep breath. She held the two sides of the wound together with her left hand, which hardly had enough chain to reach, and gripped the needle with her right.

     She desperately wanted for there to be a way out, but there wasn’t. She was too shaken and too terrified to try any sort of magical healing or painkiller. God knew she would fuck it up and make things worse for herself in the frazzled state she was in.

     Biting her tongue, she moved the blood-soaked rag back and stuck the needle through her skin on the far end of her cut.

     She wailed as soon as it punctured through, the original pain from the wound just amplifying with the sharp prick of the needle piercing through and the uncomfortable tugging of the thread pulling across her skin. She still needed to go back through the other side.

     She bit back her scream this time. He didn’t need to hear it. She saw that glint in his eye when he stabbed her; she knew he liked that she was hurt. She wouldn’t give him any more satisfaction.

     In, and out.

     It hurt so badly, she didn’t know if she could keep herself quiet.

     In, and out.

     She was hardly making any progress. She kept the stitches close together, desperate to keep it closed tightly so she wouldn’t have to do this again.

     In, and out.

     Tears spilled down her cheeks so quickly she could feel little pools forming on her chest.

     In, and out.

     She wondered if anyone even knew she was gone yet. Probably not; this was only the first night. Only the first night, and she got fucking stabbed. What else was going to happen to her?

     In, and out.

     Mom will figure out something is wrong by Sunday at the latest.

     In, and out.

     The agony started to get so bad that her vision spotted.

     Dima will help Mom find her. They’ll find her, right? The police will find her soon. All she needed to do right now was make sure she doesn’t bleed out and then someone will find her soon. They have to.

     In, and out.

     This stuff only ever happened in movies. Maybe it was just a nightmare. Maybe she was going to wake up nice and warm in bed in the morning with her thigh perfectly intact.

     In, and out.

     Maybe it was all a nightmare.

     In, and out.

     It hurt.

     In, and out.

     It hurt a lot.

    In, and out.

     She wanted to puke. The pain was so bad it was hard to breathe.

     She went on and on until the wound was completely stitched. It was hard to count, but she was pretty sure it was thirty seven. Thirty seven tiny stitches. She could have done half of that and still closed it up, but she was terrified of her handiwork not being tight enough or coming apart. Once she did a full row up, she did another back down, forcing herself to double up to keep it secure despite the pain. Relief flooded her as she finally got back to where she started and tied off the remaining thread with a knot.

     She wanted to try to pick the lock on the handcuffs with the sewing tools, but the thought was distant in her mind. Pain danced around and ignited her nerves constantly now that there was thread in her leg that wasn’t meant to be there. It looked bad already; her skin was red with irritation and every point where the needle had gone through her skin was throbbing. The pain was dizzying.

     She couldn’t hold on any longer. With a shudder, she fell back against the wall of the bathtub, her world going black. 

Tags: @exploringspaceinpyjamas

[ye-bloodeh-liar]

I just finished AC Valhalla – A résumé.

I finished the "main story" of Assassin's Creed Valhalla. These are some thoughts of mine. (This was saved in my drafts for two weeks or so. But my stance hasn't altered. Actually, I'm even angrier now.)

Disclaimer: This obviously contains some spoilers here and there. You've been warned, but tbh, who even cares about the story at this point. Also, I know I don't have many followers, and I suspect none of the few that will come across this post will actually be interested in it. That said, if you like reading people's rants about things, regardless of your interest in video games, this might be something for you. I just needed to get this out of my system somewhere. This is a rant (well, vent? I'm venting, I guess) written as it came to my mind. There's no real structure, I think. Sorry for that in advance.

After Origins, which I thoroughly enjoyed and actually played again between Odyssey and Valhalla, and Odyssey, which's name was perfectly fitting since it felt like a fucking odyssey to grind through, I hoped, actually, I was convinced, Valhalla would right Odyssey's wrongs. You see, Odyssey had one big problem for me: It did none of the things that made and still make me love Origins. In short: The world was massive, but felt copied and pasted, uninteresting to explore and lifeless. Basically, it was a lot of green sprinkled with some olive branches. A lot of the times the only way to know roughly where I am was pulling up the map because based on my surroundings, I could've been anywhere. Compared to the intriguing world of Origins, where you always knew in which area of the map you currently were, this was a shitshow. I mean, just walking through the desert in Origins had more atmosphere than the whole city of Athens (the main fucking city) could ever muster up. (Oh, remember the times of AC Brotherhood, where Rome actually felt like a city even though it wasn't actually humongous like the new games are? Or how atmospheric the whole of AC II was? I mean, Venice? Hello? M a s t e r p i e c e) But I can overlook that. The combat didn't feel heavy, or to put it better, "impactful" like it did in Origins, but more like poking the enemies to their deaths with something that made sword-y sounds. But I can overlook that. The loot system improved a bit, in the sense of giving the option to modify your loot and being able to combine different armor pieces, however, Origins outfit-system was more up my alley. But I can overlook that. Funnily enough, compared to its predecessor, Odyssey looked worse. In Origins the fabric of your outfit look like actual fabric and, I can't stress this enough, waved in the wind. In Odyssey everything felt more static and somehow "fake". But I can overlook that. To me, Origins' story was masterfully done. Personally, I'd say, that this is the closest we've ever gotten to the Ezio-Trilogy. The voice acting was top notch. Bayek was a great character, and the side characters like Aya/Amunet were equally intriguing. I still remember the first time I saw the first confession cutscene after killing Medunamun. It gave me shivers and goosebumps and got me excited for what was about to come. What I want to say with this, is that Origins made me care; care about its characters, care about their backstory and motives, care about the world, etc. After I had finished the DLC The Hidden Ones I felt like I had actually witnessed the igniting spark of something epic, namely the Assassin Brotherhood, in such a chilling way, even though they basically were just chillin' in a cave. Because that's what character building gives you: payoffs. Well, Odyssey did none of that. All it did made me care about was to get all the loot, because that's what my mind always goes for in any game (I'm that kind of stupid ape). I didn't care about what would happen in the end – I just wanted to get there. I wanted to know how the story would end, but in whichever way it would, I knew I wouldn't care for it in the sense of being disappointed or yearning for a different outcome for the character I was so invested in, because, as I said, nothing got me invested in the character(s) in the first place. That's what bugged me the most about Odyssey. Not the flimsy feeling combat, not the husk of a world I found myself in, not the downgrade in design and animation, etc., but the lack of care it invoked.

Now, when Valhalla was originally announced, I was excited as I could be for a video game. Ubisoft was clearly aware of their mistakes with Odyssey and tried to show that they're willing to listen to their fanbase. A world where every area has its own identity? Sounds great. Heavy combat? Hell yeah. Gear and loot that actually matters and is special (unlike in Odyssey where after a few hours of playing you find yourself carrying the same fucking bow 25 times)? Oh my. Choices not for the sake of choices, but story? Yes please. I mean, if you have to implement choices. Even though choices don't really make sense in Assassin's Creed, but that's another topic.

Well, did it deliver (for me)? No. And to be completely honest, I prefer Odyssey, even as the grindfest that it is, over Valhalla, and me replaying Odyssey seems a lot more likely to me, than going through all of Valhalla again. I'm not going to list all of the points mentioned above again in full detail: The world is a bit more intriguing than Greece, but a shadow of what Egypt was. The combat feels heavy, yet every weapon looks too big (????) and it still feels a bit off. My biggest grudge of the minor points is actually the look/the graphics: How on earth does Valhalla manage to look less real than Origins? The fur and pelts on the armor, every piece of cloth, i mean just e v e r y t h i n g looks somewhat plasticy (at loss for a better word here; just compare Origins' outfits in motion to Valhalla's) Anyway, let's get to the real problem here, because all boils down to the point I've mentioned before: Invoking care.

This became very apparent to me after forging the fourth (?; was it the fourth? They all blur together. That's how e n t i c i n g they are. Great.) alliance or so. I didn't give a single fuck about the characters in those arcs. It was very clear that they'd be soon replaced by other characters in the next alliance's arc, which I probably wouldn't care for either, especially, since they all felt somewhat the same: empty. Alliances felt like checklists to do. Even Wincestre, which had an interesting beginning, somehow managed to loose all of its "darkness" after the first two quests. But I could overlook the dreary sidequest-like alliance arcs, if they served the main storyline in some way or form. Now you might ask, what main storyline? E x a c t l y. Looking back, there is none. At least not really. And there where a lot of times playing the game where I found myself wondering, if this alliance-arc-thing I was currently dragging myself through was in fact meant to be the actual story. But it shouldn't be. Was it? I have no fucking clue. My conclusion on what Valhalla's main overarching story is, is what follows:

Eivor's parents got killed when he was a child (never seen before lol), got adopted, and is now part of the Raven clan with his "brother" Sigurd//Sigurd comes home from some raid with the Assassins Basim and Hytham//(Eivor gets the Hidden Blade; I mean, this is an Assassin's Creed game. Big moment. Done in 2 seconds.)//Sigurd and Eivor aren't happy with the new King of Norway.//Sigurd and Eivor fuck off to England (with Basim and Hytham) to set camp there.//Eivor starts to forge alliances throughout England to make his clan's hold on England stronger.// Sigurd and Basim do their own thing.//Eivor meets Sigurd and Basim two or three times throughout his alliance forging.//Basim seems a bit off.//Sigurd says that he was told (by Basim?) that he is a descendant of the gods.// Sigurd wants to "pursue his destiny"// (sidenote: the last few things are all within one (!) short cutscene in a small house. d e v e l o p m e n t.)//Sigurd gets captured and tortured and loses his hand.//Eivor rescues Sigurd.// Sigurd is back in the settlement.//Sigurd distrusts Eivor because Eivor doesn't believe Sigurd and Sigurd thinks Eivor wants to take his title as the jarl (jarls are the bosses of settlements).// And then the end sequence hits. This is where I want to go into somewhat detail again. We go from Sigurd distrusts Eivor to "Eivor, I don't wanna be the boss of the town, so I don't hold a grudge anymore, let's go back to Norway and I'll show you I was right all along" like it's nothing. It's literally just that: You walk up to Sigurd, he says this (more or less) and you sail away. Again: development is taken very seriously in this game. Honestly, at this point I didn't even know that this was going to trigger the ending. My genuine thoughts were "Oh my, finally, after all this grinding, the story is going to start." when in reality of course, ironically, it was going to end. Absolute belter. So you sail to Norway with Sigurd, which takes fucking forever, because OF COURSE you have to sail (for everyone who didn't play the game, yes, sail, that means looking at a viking longship while occasionally moving the stick slightly to change its directions slightly) to your original settlement in Norway, for what feels like far too long, only to say Hi to your dad. Fucking lost it. I thought we were going to assassinate the King? Nah bruv let's just have some quick family talk instead. Some action? Nah. Just get back to the longship. A N D S T A R T S A I L I N G A G A I N. Where? Just around the curve of our settlement in Norway. Yes, they pulled the old trick of the ending is literally just right around the corner of your starting position hehe. Absolute belter. Is this to make it seem like something is about to happen? The calm before the storm? It doesn't work like that. Well, then you actually sail through a storm (lol), which doesn't matter, because Sigurd just says "Let's keep going" and, well, you keep going. Also, to this point the weather conditions have never affected neither Eivors health, nor the ship in any way whatsoever, so why should I be impacted by a storm now? Like, it's a nice thing for atmosphere, but at least make the ship harder to steer or something. Then you walk up a mountain. Funnily enough Sigurd walks in manner that shows that the walk against the storm isn't easy, whereas you, hah, you can just yeet yourself up that mountain like nothing. I could sprint up there. Fucking sprint. Anyway, Eivor and Sigurd enter the Isu temple, because of course, we had to throw an Isu temple in there, I mean, i t ' s A s s a s s i n ' s C r e e d. Was it hinted at before in the story? Not really. Were we chasing or searchig for it? Nah, better get that next alliance going. It just suddenly was. Again: development. So we walk to the main platform of the temple and activate the machine and bam we're in Valhalla (because at some point Ubisoft realised that maybe they should include what is literally in the name of the game). Again, were we looking for Valhalla? Like not in the sense that every viking was, but more in the sense

of was it the main objective of the game? Did Eivor look for a way to Valhalla? Was there anything that led us here other than Sigurd having had a few dreams (that only got mentioned, like, twice?) and being influenced into thinking he was a demigod or something? Nope, Eivor was looking for that next alliance to forge. So, Eivor realises that his experience of Valhalla is fake and he wants to get out. But fake-Odin doesn't want to let him go. In a really weird cutscene (jump to 6:30), Eivor eventually escapes Odin and enters a door with his settlement-family (look, I'm all here for metaphors, but this, this is just utter rubbish. It just doesn't make sense, and there is no payoff whatsoever). Odin actually had a build-up of some sort. In every assassination sequence he's there and talks with Eivor. I actually thought there would be some cool payoff/ending/reveal here. But nah, this ain't it chief. Yet somehow, until here, I had hope. I thought maybe now, building on all this confusion, there's gonna be a relatively good ending. Something enticing. Something that made everything somewhat worthwile. And Ubisoft went: Lol nah. So, you're out of the Isu machine again (for all the non-AC-peoples here: basically like the matrix. Eivor gets hooked up to the machine and experiences alternate reality: Valhalla), and Basim is there. What a twist. The guy that showed up like three times and went from friendly in the first time to super suspicious (like glaring-in-your-face-suspicious) in the two-or-so other major cutscenes he was in, has now been revealed as the enemy. Congrats to that. What a twist. The thing is, and this bothers me a lot actually, it could have been anyone there. It didn't need to be Basim. It wouldn't have felt out of place if it wasn't him. Why? Because Ubisoft failed terribly at making you connect to any character and at building any actual story (or character). It could have been Gunnar, the friendly black-smith in our settlement, and it would have been as fitting as Basim. Then Basim says that this is "for his son". Ah yes, the lost son of Basim, which was mentioned once. Right. Eivor defeats Basim by hooking him up on the Isu machine and gets back to the settlement with Sigurd (in my ending at least. There seems to be a possible ending in which Sigurd doesn't come back.) Cut to the modern day, where Layla now knows the coordinates of the Isu temple, goes there, hooks herself up to the machine, becomes the overseer of time with the other overseer of time which already was hanging out there (I mean yeah, great idea, terrible execution. Build it up, then you can have a payoff. This was just straight outta nowhere, and who cared about Layla anyway.) Anyway, meanwhile Basim, who was still hanging on that machine a fuck ton of years later, pops off, and is now living in the modern day. The idea here is, that we lost the hero (Layla) which caused the (just established) vilain (Basim) to do his fuckery in the modern day. But why should I care? Basim was basically nonexistent in the basically nonexistent story and suddendly I should feel sad or shocked, because he's in the modern day? Is this supposed to be intriguing? And yeah, Layla is "gone". Layla, who had no character building over three fucking games. Why should i be bothered? Why should I care about anything that just happened? Remember when a side character (Lucy) died in AC Brotherhood? That was intriguing. Why? Because they built her as a character we (Desmond) trusted, even though it was in the modern day (which no one really cares about in AC). And this is why Valhalla broke me and Odyssey didn't. Valhalla failed to make me care on a much deeper level. It's just a lot of nothingness. Empty characters in a nonexistent story. And by nonexistent, I mean non-built at all. When I play the game now, I have no actual reason, and throughout the game never actually had any actual reason, to continue. It was a chore. I didn't bother if after three hours of grind I would eventually get a mini-snippet of a husk of a story, and neither do I care now. Everything in

this game is so devoid of sparking curiosity and screams of lacklusterness to the point where I don't even know what I have actually expierenced. For fuck's sake Ubisoft, make me care again. At least once in 40 hours.

May I sum up Valhalla's "story" and content in the glorious words of Catherine Tate: Am I bovvered? The answer, sadly, is a holistic no.

[emy-loves-you]

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 6

Who the F*ck’s Rebecca? OR How the 3 Gays got Together

Virgil learns about Roman’s childhood, specifically his sister and how he ended up dating Patton and Logan.

Warning: Misgendering of a character (but no one knows that the character is trans)

Yes, Roman and Remus are brothers. Explanations are listed at the bottom

Chapter 5 | Masterlist | Chapter 7

V- (2:07 PM) Let it Go was the best song in Frozen and you cannot convince me otherwise

R- (2:07 PM) I respect your opinion, but hear me out: Love is an Open Door

V- (2:08 PM) No

R- (2:08 PM) What about Fixer Upper?

V- (2:09 PM) Still no.

P- (2:09 PM) I really liked Olaf’s song about Summer!

L- (2:10 PM) I personally enjoyed the reprise of First Time in Forever.

R- (2:10 PM) You like almost any song with a reprise

L- (2:10 PM)I will not argue that, as successfully executed reprises are “lit.”

R- (2:11 PM) Ah, and who among us could forget the absolute BOP that is… that weird ice-cutting song.

P- (2:11 PM) I don’t know, Roman. I think that song is, pretty COOL

R- (2:11 PM) Oh, lookout

V- (2:12 PM) What? He’s just saying it’s a CHILLED out groove.

R- (2:12 PM) Ugh

L- (2:12 PM) We might need you two to leave this chat if you don’t stop.

Virgil laughed, throwing his phone on the bed and stripping out of his clothes. He just finished jogging home from Janus’ (he didn’t own a car right now, preferring to walk or have Janus pick him up). It was a lazy afternoon in late September, and all Virgil wanted to do was get out of these sweaty clothes and maybe take a nap. He heard his phone go off multiple times as he got dressed, probably Patton and Logan arguing about the purpose of puns. He flopped down onto his bed and grabbed his phone, checking the new messages.

P- (2:14 PM) Lo, the Princes are calling.

L- (2:14 PM) Tell Roman not to answer, Patton. We’ve been over this.

P- (2:14 PM) They’re asking about us, Lo.

L- (2:14 PM) Tell Roman to hang up. They’re not worth it.

P- (2:15 PM) They’re yelling now, L. They brought up Rebecca. What do I do?

L- (2:15 PM) Just walk into another room, Patton. Ignore them. Do you want me to call you?

P- (2:15 PM) No, I’m good. Just keep texting me. I need a distraction.

Now, Virgil had no idea about what the fuck was going on. But he knew how to distract someone. He’d just have to trust them to tell him later.

V- (2:16 PM) Did you know that octopi have 3 hearts?

L- (2:16 PM) What

P- (2:16 PM) That just means they have more love to give!

V- (2:17 PM) The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds

P- (2:17 PM) Such a good bird!

V- (2:17 PM) Babies do not regularly produce tears until they are 1-3 months old

L- (2:18 PM) Ah, I think I understand now

V- (2:18 PM) A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time. It stands for 1/1000th of a second

L- (2:18 PM) Falsehood. A jiffy is 1/100th of a second

V- (2:19 PM) Sorry, my hand must’ve slipped.

L- (2:19 PM) You would be unable to walk on Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus or Neptune because they have no solid surface.

L- (2:20 PM) An asteroid about the size of a car enters Earth’s atmosphere roughly once a year. However, it burns up before it can reach us.

L- (2:20 PM) The highest mountain known to man is on an asteroid called Vesta. It is approximately three times the height of Mount Everest.

P- (2:21 PM) I think they hung up. Thanks for keeping me company, Kiddos!

L- (2:21 PM) It was not an issue, Patton.

V- (2:21 PM) Yeah, no problem Pat. Now can someone explain what just happened?

L- (2:23 PM) As you can probably tell, I am not home at the moment. Apparently, Roman’s parents decided to call him and an argument broke out. The rest is not my place to say.

Virgil bit his lip, refusing to look at his phone screen. Did Virgil have the right to ask about that. It was obviously a very sensitive topic, and Virgil had only known Roman for about 3 months now. Virgil felt like he knew a lot about his 3 crushes (their quirks, their favorite sweets, their goals in life), but he knew very little about their lives before Virgil had met them. Which was fine; they knew very little about Virgil’s life, too. But he desperately wanted to help Roman; to make him feel happy and safe and loved. Virgil sighed, setting his phone on his nightstand. If Princey wants to tell me what’s going on, I’ll listen. If not, I’ll just have to deal with it.

Virgil woke up from his nap to the sound of his phone going off. He blindly felt around for it, his face still firmly planted in his pillow. He finally found it, turning it on before he lifted his head to read the text. It was a private message from Princey.

R- (3:02 PM) You’re probably wondering what happened today.

V- (3:02 PM) I am, but you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable. I’ll respect your privacy.

R- (3:02 PM) As much as I appreciate that, you still deserve to know.

R- (3:03 PM) Do you mind if I call you? This doesn’t feel like a conversation to have over text.

Virgil thought about it for a moment. He originally never wanted to call Roman, simply because he might recognize Virgil’s voice as Anxiety’s. However, not only was Virgil 99% confident that Roman had never even heard of The Dark Sides, Virgil’s head was still foggy after his nap. Before he knew it, he was already calling Princey’s phone.

“Virgil?” Roman didn’t sound as… grand as Virgil expected. His voice was subdued and slightly hoarse, probably from the screaming match with his parents.

“Heya, Princey.” Virgil cringed at how gravelly his voice sounded. He’ll need to get some water after this conversation is over.

“You sound so tired. Oh my stars, did I wake you up? I’m so sorry. I’ll let you get back to sleep-”

“Princey, it’s okay. Just finished my nap. Might not talk much, but ‘m all ears.”

“Alright. Where do I even begin?”

“Take your time. ‘m not pressurin’ you or anythin’.”

“(sigh) You’re right. I guess I should start at the beginning. I grew up in a very... conservative household. My parents expected me and my sister, Rebecca, to be perfect. ReeRee was my partner in crime. We did everything together up until highschool. My parents expected me to get a football scholarship and date the hottest girl in school. I did those things, not because I wanted to, but because they wanted me to. ReeRee was a different story. When my parents signed her up for cheerleading, she tried to join the football team instead. When they told her she should wear her hair in a ponytail, she cut it off to match mine. I didn’t understand, and it made me angry. It was like looking in a funhouse mirror; she was starting to look more and more like me, and yet each change made my parents angrier. Why was looking and acting like me a problem? I thought they liked this version of me! One night in the summer before junior year I was really frustrated and I took it out on her. I told her to stop acting like me. I knew she didn’t deserve my anger, so I went to Patton’s place to cool down. By the time I came home, my parents refused to acknowledge that I even had a sister. I pushed her away, and now I’ll never get her back.

After that, things changed. I was so angry, and everything I saw reminded me of her. I quit the football team, because every time I went down to the field I expected to see her. I dyed my hair, because every time I looked in the mirror I saw her staring back. I stopped caring about what my parents thought, ‘cause it was their opinions that dragged me into this mess!

I had already been friends with Patton since Freshman year, but me and Logan had been at each other’s throats . We were always bickering about something, and sometimes I used our arguments to vent out my anger at whatever was wrong at the time. I didn’t even realize how much I had cared about Patton and Logan until I learned about the LGBTQ+ community. My parents were super strict, and Patton and Logan didn’t exactly flaunt their relationship. I had no idea that liking guys was even an option . Once I learned about it, my parents quickly tried to shut it down. Everyday, they’d start their day telling me that ‘homosexuality is a sin’ and ‘God made you to be the gender you were born with!’ If they had told me that before ReeRee left, I might’ve believed them. But by this point, I didn’t care about a single thing they told me.

So one day, I’m arguing with Logan about who knows what, and suddenly we’re inches apart, and I remember pa saying ‘ a boy should never kiss another boy.’ And just think, ‘Fuck it.’ And now me and Pocket Protector are suddenly making out behind the school building. Microsoft Nerd asks why the hell I decided to make out with him of all people, and I break down right there. He agreed to keep it a secret, but he refused to do anything more than a simple make-out session until he had Padre’s consent to do so. Which I understood, consent is important, cheating is bad.

Now we’re having these ‘sessions’ at least once a week for almost 4 months. Patton eventually walked in on us and he was understandably upset. I explained what had happened and that I’ve had a crush on both of them for a while. And they’re like ‘cool, we’re polyam.’ And now I’m starting senior year dating two men, which mom and pa were not okay with. I told ‘em to fuck off and we moved away as soon as we graduated. They still call occasionally, asking when I’m gonna get my life together and get over losing ReeRee. I haven’t blocked ‘em yet in case they find her or change their minds.”

Roman finally took a deep breath. “Sorry about the rant. Didn’t realise how badly I needed to get that off my chest.”

Virgil snorted. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Told ya I’d be a good ear. And Princey?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t gotta do anything to impress someone else. You bein’ you is good enough. And if Rebecca could see you, I’m sure she’d be proud as hell. And don’t be ‘fraid to hit me up if you need someone other than your SOs to rant to; I’ll always be here for ya, Princey.”

“... Thank you, Virgil. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that until you said it.” He sighed, and Virgil could hear the sound of running water. “I’m gonna go drink some water. My throat burns like a bitch right now.”

“Same. Catch you later?”

He could hear Roman chuckle to himself. “I guess you shall. Farewell, Storm Cloud. And pleasant dreams!”

Virgil blushed. The way Roman said his nickname… it made Virgil’s gay heart nearly explode. He quickly hung up and buried his face back into his pillow. I’ll get water later. AFTER my heart stops racing.

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Now, for those of you wondering about why Virgil doesn't realize that Roman and Remus are brothers, I'm gonna put a quick explanation here, 'cause I don't know how to casually fit this into the story. 1.) Remus has never told Virgil his deadname or his last name. He's probably told Janus (since their pretty close) but Virgil doesn't know. 2.) Remus has never told Virgil that his brother's name is Roman. Additionally, when Virgil is talking about the 3 gays, he only calls them "Pat, Lo and Princey." 3.) Roman's parents didn't tell him that Remus transitioned, so he doesn't know that Rebecca now goes by Remus. Also, none of the characters have actually sent pictures of their faces, so none of them have any idea what the other looks like. 4.) It is a total coincidence that both twins moved to the same town. Remus believes that Roman still lives in their hometown, and Remus could be dead for all that Roman knows. There is no logical reason for them to think "maybe Virgil's friends with my long-lost sibling" 5.) Virgil would NEVER out his friends like that. He tells Janus and Remus everything, but he would NEVER betray Roman's trust like that. Same thing for telling Roman about Remus. Roman might know that Remus is trans, but he doesn't know about Remus' background. ONE LAST THING: Roman and Virgil will eventually see each other face-to-face but WON'T recognize each other's voices. This is because during the phone call Virgil is still groggy from waking up and Roman is still hoarse from screaming.

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

[theultimatefanficwriter]

Tamer of My Heart-Gundham Tanaka x Reader

Requested by Crystie1234 on Wattpad 

Trigger warning: Angst, abuse

You never fit in anywhere. At any school you went to you could never make any friends. You were always bullied and made an outcast. Your only solace was the animals that would flock to you. You always felt happier around them, as if you could speak to and understand them. This only led to more teasing, people calling you a 'Disney Princess' or saying that your only friends are animals.

Home life wasn't any better.

Your parents hated that you couldn't make friends, and only got angrier when they noticed you spending time with animals. They said they just wanted a 'normal daughter.' One that could make a single friend, and that wasn't spending time with 'those disgusting pests' everyday. But as the years went on, your love for animals never wavered, much to your parents' disappointment.

Soon they became violent.

You had been accepted into Hope's Peak as the Ultimate Animal Tamer. You tried to be happy, but your father's words were still ringing in your head.

"Oh, they let you in such a prestigious school for something as worthless as that? Hmph. At least you might possibly be useful for once."

You clutched your arms tightly before wincing and letting go. You looked down at your bruised arms before rolling your sleeves down. With a sigh you looked up at Hope's Peak Academy. Here you could get away from your family, and could hopefully make some friends.

Though you weren't holding your breath on that one.

You quietly filed into your classroom that would be part of your home for a long while. You glanced around and noticed you were the last to arrive. All of the desks were filled except for one beside a boy wearing a black coat and a long purple scarf. You noticed he had one grey eye and a red one, as well as a...a scar over his grey eye. You gulped as you slowly made your way to sit beside the intimidating student.

As you took your seat, he turned to look at you. His eyes narrowed as he inspected you, and you suddenly felt very small. "Hmph. Yet another weak mortal." The boy beside you scoffed, crossing his arms. "Is there not a single being of higher power here?"

You tilted your head in confusion, his speech going over your head. You opened your mouth to attempt to answer him when you noticed a small, furry head popping out of his scarf. Your eyes lit up as the hamster crawled up and out onto it's master's shoulder. "Oh, he's so cute!" You couldn't stop yourself from gushing.

The boy huffed at you. "Jum-P is not 'cute'! He is one of my fearsome Dark Devas of Destruction!" He pulled an extravagant pose. "He will assist me in taking over this mortal realm!"

You glanced at the boy before looking back at the hamster, a soft smile on your face. "So your name is Jum-P, huh?" You spoke to the animal quietly. "That's such a nice name! You sure are a wonderful little..." You scrunched your eyebrows and looked back at the pale skinned boy for a moment before returning your gaze. "Dark Deva, aren't you?" The tan hamster let out a happy little sound before scampering down his master's arm and hopping onto your hand.

"Jum-P!" The boy exclaimed in shock. He looked up to you with wide eyes. "Im-impossible! You managed to command one of my Devas to do your bidding!" He leaned forwards towards you, squinting his eyes. "You must be from the underworld! What rank of demon are you?"

You looked up from Jum-P, the smile on your face turning into a confused frown. "T-the underworld?" You repeated.

The boy nodded. "Of course! You speak the language of the hellbeasts! You are not a mere mortal after all!"

"I-I'm just really good with animals." You informed him quietly. "I'm the Ultimate Animal Tamer."

The strange student beside you grinned. "Ah, now I see! Yes, we are indeed from the same ilk!" He pulled another of those strange poses. "These mortals call me the Ultimate Breeder!"

Your eyes widened. Someone else with an animal related talent?! "Th-that's so cool!" You complimented him. "Oh, my name's Y/N L/N, by the way."

The breeder smirked. "You may call me Gundham Tanaka!" He held his hand out, allowing Jum-P to make his way back to him. "I do believe the two of us will make an unstoppable team, Lady Y/N."

You blushed slightly at being called Lady. "I...I think so too, Gundham." You smiled at him, the first genuine smile you had given another human in...forever.

Class went by rather quickly. It was just introductions, and you learned that your class was full of a number of...interesting people. Such as the princess of a foreign country, the head of the yakuza, a well known swords woman, a rather pervy chef, a mean dancer girl, and a very apologetic and clumsy nurse. At least you wouldn't get bored easily.

At the end of class, everyone packed up and went to leave, yourself included. However as you made your way to the door, someone stepped in front of you, blocking your path. You glanced up, and saw it was Gundham. "Oh, h-hi, Gundham." You greeted him meekly.

"Tamer of Hellbeasts." He returned the greeting. "I would like to request your company in my afternoon activities." He raised his scarf to cover his face slightly. "That is, of course, if you have no prior engagements."

You couldn't hide your surprised expression. Someone was actually asking you to hang out with them? "N-no, I don't have any plans." You told him. "Hanging out sounds fun."

The breeder smiled. "Excellent! Then let us be away!" With a flourish of his jacket, Gundham turned around and exited through the door. You couldn't help but smile as you watched him leave. You didn't know what it was about this flamboyant man, but he made you feel...safe.

You gathered your belongings and quickly followed him. "So, where are we going?" You asked as you rejoined him.

He had been leaning against the wall waiting for you. When you spoke to him, he pushed against the wall and turned to you, a grin on his face. "We shall be headed to the lair of a fierce phoenix I had discovered while traversing this plane with my Four Dark Devas of Destruction." Gundham told you.

You tilted your head. "A...phoenix?" You questioned.

The breeder nodded. "Yes, and a beautiful one at that. It appeared to be injured, and though I attempted to ease it's pain, it would not allow me to approach it, no matter what bonding spell I attempted to cast." He shook his head. "Truly a powerful beast indeed." Gundham turned to look at you, a small grin on his face. "That is why I was hoping that you would join me and use your wondrous ability of taming forbidden creatures to assist the fallen phoenix."

You smiled sweetly. "Of course, Gundham. I'd be glad to help you." You assured him. You still weren't sure exactly what animal you were agreeing to help him with, but if it was injured you wouldn't feel right leaving it on it's own.

The pale skinned man smiled brightly at you as he continued to lead you to your destination. "Thank you, benevolent dark tamer."

You felt your cheeks flush slightly as you continued to follow him. You had never had someone say such kind words to you before. You were used to people bullying you for your talent, not complimenting you on it. You watched Gundham as he strode ahead confidentially, a large smirk on his face as he opened the doors to the outside of the school.

He held them open for you, and waited until you left the building before closing them behind him. "After you, Dark Lady." He said with a smile before taking the lead once more.

It was only a few more minutes until the two of you came to a stop. Gundham had led you into the woods, and though that did put you a bit on edge since you barely knew this person, your unease quickly vanished when you noticed a falcon lying on the ground and nursing it's wing. You covered your mouth and slowly approached it. The falcon noticed you and raised it's uninjured wings at you threateningly, as well as screeching at you angrily.

"Hey, it's ok, little one." You assured the bird quietly. "We're just here to help." You looked to it's wing sadly. "Oh no, what happened to your wing? Can I help you?" You held a hand out as you slowly crept closer, crouch down a foot or two away from the falcon. "Please let me help."

The bird glared you down as it's eyes looked straight through you. Eventually, it lowered it's wing and slowly walked over to your hand. When it got within distance, you allowed it to brush it's head against you first before carefully petting it. "I'm going to touch your wing now, ok, buddy?" You warned the bird. "I promise I'm not trying to hurt you." You gently grabbed the hurt wing and spread it. You used your other hand and softly ran it across the wing. The falcon cried out and you released it. "I see." You said softly. You held your arm out and waited for the falcon to climb onto your arm before you stood. You inwardly sighed in relief that the bird managed to avoid your hidden bruises.

You turned to Gundham, who was staring at you in awe. "My, I knew your powers were great, but I could never have predicted you were as powerful as this!" He breathed out. He looked to the falcon and reached a hand out, causing the falcon to squawk angrily.

"No, it's alright! He's a friend!" You soothed it, petting its head gently. The bird glanced to you before looking back to Gundham. It calmed back down allowing the breeder to pet it as well.

"I am truly impressed with your skills, Dark Tamer." Gundham said, stepping back and grinning at you. "I had thought I was the master of all beasts, but you seem to be even stronger than I."

You once again felt yourself blush. "It's really not that impressive, Gundham. I'm sure you could've done the same thing if you kept at it."

The breeder frowned. "You doubt what I say?" He took a step towards you. "It is very rare I label another as more powerful than myself. I would not do so if I did not believe it to be true."

You chuckled nervously. "You've barely known me a day, Gundham." You pointed out. "There's no way you could know that much about me."

The dark god narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms as he looked you up and down. "Very well, then you leave me little choice." You looked up at him worriedly when he said that. "I must stay at your side and get to know you, so that you will have no excuse when I tell you how strong your abilities truly are."

You blinked. "Are...are you asking to be my...friend?" You asked quietly.

Gundham's face turned red and he pulled his scarf up. "I...yes. That is what I am requesting."

You stared at him as you processed his words. He...wanted to be your friend? Really? You smiled and nodded. "Of course, Gundham. I'd love to be your friend."

The breeder brightened up at your response. "Wonderful news!" His eyes went down to the falcon. "Now, could you tell what had befallen the phoenix?"

You nodded. "Yeah. His wing is broken. It'll need some time to heal." You informed him. "It should take less than a month."

Gundham nodded. "I see. Well, the beast should reside at your realm for it's resting period, of course. Even if you have made him ease at my presence, I do believe you are the right one to care for him."

You nodded. "I can do that. Hope's Peak probably has the right tools I need. I can just bring them to my room." You glanced up to Gundham. "But...you'll help me with him, right?"

The god of ice smirked and nodded, pulling another pose. "But of course! What type of Dark Prince would I be if I left such a powerful demoness alone on this mission!?"

You shook your head. "I told you, I'm not powerful." You muttered.

Your new friend sighed. "Very well. I shall refrain from such comments for the time." He turned on his heel and began to retrace his steps back to Hope's Peak. You followed, the falcon continuing to perch on your arm.

You got the necessary equipment from the academy and set everything up to help Silv-R, as Gundham had started to call the falcon, heal. The two of you worked on this little 'project' for three weeks, and continued to grow closer.

And you felt yourself falling for the flamboyant breeder.

Finally it was the day to release Silv-R, and you were both saddened at this fact. You and Gundham stood in the same spot you had found the falcon, looking sadly at the bird as he stood perched on your arm once again.

"It is a sad day today, Tamer of Hellbeasts." Gundham said solemnly.

You nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it is." You muttered, giving the falcon a pet on the head. "But keeping a found falcon as a pet is illegal in Japan. We gotta let him go."

Your friend sighed sadly. "Very well. Let us get this over with then."

You smiled sadly as you looked at Silv-R. You held your arm up. "You can go now, Silv-R. Go home, buddy!" The falcon hesitated at first, giving you a look. But eventually he flapped his wings and took flight. He squawked at you and Gundham as he flew a circle around your heads once before flying off into the trees. You sighed sadly and hung your head. You've treated and released animals before, but every time it hurt. You always got attached too quickly.

Suddenly you felt a hand gently intertwine with your own. You glanced over and saw Gundham looking away from you, hiding under his scarf. "G-Gundham!" You stammered in surprise. "Your...poisoned skin!" Gundham had gone on multiple times how he could never touch a mortal due to his poisoned blood. If he did, they would turn to ash.

"Y-you are not a mere mortal." He muttered. "Your power is more than efficient to keep yourself safe from my poisoned veins, as is evident from the fact you are still standing."

You felt your cheeks heat up, as they always did around Gundham. "B-but why are you holding my hand?"

He cleared his throat. "You seemed distressed due to the departure of Silv-R. So I was...attempting to comfort you." He looked down at your still held hands. "You have yet to pull away, so I assume this did in fact...comfort you?"

You paused for a moment before nodding. "Y-yeah. Thank you...Gundham."

The two of you stood there in awkward silence until he finally turned, pulling his hand from yours. "We should return." He stated. He glanced back at you. "If you wish, would you like to come to my realm? Just to, as the mortals say, 'hang out'."

You nodded, smiling softly. "Yeah. That sounds fun, Gundham." He nodded in return as he led you to his room.

The two of you got there with no issue. He placed his hamsters into their cage before sitting on his bed. You stood in the middle of his awkwardly for a moment before he chuckled. "Do not be afraid, Dark Lady." He told you, giving one of his signature grins. He pat the bed beside him. "Here, sit beside me." You looked at him for a minute before nodding and slowly doing so. The air was filled with an awkward silence for a while until Gundham broke it. "I have a confession to make, Dark Tamer." He began, glancing at you. "I may not have been completely truthful with my reasons for asking you here."

You looked up at him. "Oh? There's a reason other then hanging out?" You asked him.

He nodded. "Indeed. You see, Tamer of Hellbeasts, I have noticed something about you that I cannot help but compare to myself." He glanced down at your arms, which were covered by your long sleeves. "You and I both hide away a secret from the world."

You narrowed your brow in confusion until Gundham lifted his arms up, reminding you of the ever present bandages around his arms. "O-oh. It's nothing, Gundham. I just really like long sleeved shirts."

The breeder narrowed his eyes. "Forgive me for doubting you, demoness, but I find that hard to believe. The weather is most humid, and I have indeed noticed your perspiration during our training classes. Surely if the heat is bothering someone to such a degree they would remove such cumbersome garments, yes?" He looked you in the eyes, his own soft. "Then why do you not?"

You bit your lip, and you crossed your arms, gripping them lightly. "I...I don't want to talk about it, Gundham." You whispered.

Gundham looked like he wanted to insist, but he sighed. "Very well. I will not pursue this topic further."

You smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you."

The animal lover nodded before silence filled the room once more for a short while. "There was...one last reason for my invitation." He said quietly.

You raised an eyebrow, laughing softly. "Another? You don't need so many reasons to hang out with me, Gundham." You joked, already feeling better. Gundham just had that effect on you.

The dark overlord chuckled. "Well there has been quite a lot of things on my mind as of late." Gundham's face suddenly turned a light shade of pink, and he pulled his scarf up as he turned his face away from you. "Or, more accurately, a singular subject has been continuously returning itself to my thoughts."

You tilted your head. "And what is that?" You asked. "Is everything alright?"

He nodded, his cheeks turning red now. "Yes, I am well. However I do believe someone has cast a hex upon me."

You giggled to yourself. You found Gundham's way of speaking adorable. "What type of hex, Gundham?"

The breeder cleared his throat. "A...a love curse."

You were silent for a moment. Why did you feel a sudden pain in your heart. "A...love curse?" You repeated. When he nodded, you continued. "Do you know who...cast it?"

He nodded again. "I am most certain I know the culprit." He took a deep breath as he pulled his scarf down and turned to look at you. His face was a dark red at this point. "I...I believe it was you, dearest tamer."

Your eyes widened. "Wh-what?" You stammered. "You...are you saying you have...a crush on me?"

Gundham nodded, his face still beet red. "I-indeed." He muttered. "I have felt myself falling deeper into this curse every second I am around you." He looked you in the eyes, and your breath hitched when you saw the amount of care that was in them. "No other being has ever shown the same amount of passion in beasts as I have, and the amount you have very nearly surpasses my own. Not to mention you do not find my...abnormalities off-putting. You do not ostracize or look down upon me for my mannerisms. Instead, you encourage me. I have never felt more comfortable around another then I do when around you."

As the breeder spoke, you just stared at him, your eyes still wide. Was this really true? Did someone actually have a crush on you? Did Gundham have a crush on you?! You knew you yourself had begun to fall for him. You found him extremely cute, both in appearances and in the way he acted. And having another animal lover made you really happy. But...how could he like you back.

No. It had to be a trick. Nobody liked you. Nobody could possibly like you, especially not someone you have a crush on.

You shook your head frantically at Gundham. "Stop. Please, just stop." You begged. "I...I don't know who put you up to this, but please, stop. I know you don't actually like me, so please. Don't."

Gundham's eyes narrowed in confusion. "I beg your pardon, Dark Tamer, but I do not understand. The words I speak are the truth, not lies or some petty mortal dare." He reached a hand out for your own. "I truly care deeply for you."

You jerked away from him, scooting further down the bed. You shook your head harder. "No. No you don't! No one does. No one ever could, let alone you!"

The pale skinned boy blinked at that. "What do you mean by that, Y/N?" He questioned.

You pulled at your hair. "I should have known from the start this was a setup. Some stupid dare. No one has ever been my friend before, so why would you have wanted to be? And now that I've grown close to you and formed a crush on you, you tell me you like me back?" Your hands went back to your arms. "No. It's a trick."

Gundham's eyes widened this time at your confession. "You...you return my affections?!"

You opened your mouth to respond as you gripped your arms tighter, but all that came out was a pained yelp. You inwardly cursed. You thought the bruises would have faded by now, but some of the particularly nasty ones were still pretty apparent.  Your head quickly shot over to Gundham, who was looking at your arms. "I...I-"

"I demand to see your arms."

You bit your lip and shook your head. "N-no. It's nothing, Gundham, really-"

"Silence!" The breeder growled, causing you to jump. He had never taken such a threatening tone with you, and it caused you to stiffen, bringing back memories of your home life. Gundham moved closer to you as he reached for your arms. You couldn't resist, frozen still from the terrible memories. Gundham gently grabbed your right arms and carefully rolled your sleeve up. You closed your eyes tightly as he did so, so you didn't see his reaction, only heard the soft gasp. Then you felt him grab your other arm and roll that sleeve up as well. This time you heard a growl, and him mutter "I will destroy the fiend who dare do this to you."

You felt tears begin to well up in your still closed eyes, so you turned you head away. You let out a soft whimper, trying your hardest not to cry. Suddenly you felt a hand on your cheek, gently turning your face back around. You opened your eyes, and saw Gundham staring intently into your eyes, a serious expression on his face. "I-I'm sorry-" You began, but were cut off by him smashing his lips against yours.

You squeaked in surprise, barely having time to respond before he pulled away. "Silence." He repeated, this time in a more gentle tone. "You have no reason to apologize, dearest one." He ran the hand not cupping your cheek through your hair. "Tell me, who is the fool who dared to harm you?"

You shook your head. "I-I can't tell you." You whispered. "It...it's not a big deal, anyway."

"It most certainly is a 'big deal'!" The breeder exclaimed. "Someone has been inflicting pain upon you! I must know who it is that I must send to the Nine Hells of Pandemonium!"

Your eyes widened and you shook your head quickly. "N-no! You can't hurt them!"

Gundham narrowed his eyes. "So it is not one individual, but multiple." He mused. "And from your pleas it can be assumed they are beings you have been groomed to trust." He was quiet for a moment before snarling. "Is it safe to assume the ones who assault you are none other than your own parents?"

You flinched, before slowly nodding. "But they only do it so I know how useless both me and my talent are, and that I can't do anything right. They don't want me to get my hopes up." You pulled away from Gundham. "Which is how I know you don't actually care about me. There's no way you could. I'm worthless."

Gundham stared at you with wide eyes as you spoke. He was completely speechless. "Y/N..." He whispered, looking up to your eyes. "That isn't true. You aren't worthless." Your eyes shot open wide as well when you noticed Gundham wasn't speaking in his usual way. He'd been doing it since you met, so you had honestly been starting to think it was something he couldn't help. Your thoughts were interrupted as he continued. "You are the most amazing, talented, and beautiful girl I have ever seen. Honest. Watching you play with my hamsters, and seeing how you handled the falcon...it made me so happy. My heart fluttered seeing someone else care so deeply for animals. And you are so kind. Other people make fun of the way I usually talk, or avoid me because of it. But you play along. You don't mind." He smiled up at you. "I am being completely sincere when I say this. I really like you. I think I may even love you."

You felt your heart melt at his words, tears begin to slowly fall from your eyes. "But...but my parents said-"

"Your parents are wrong." Gundham cut you off. "I don't know why they treat you like that, but they shouldn't. It's wrong, and you don't deserve it. You deserve love and care." He gently cupped your face again and moved his face closer to yours. "I want to be the one to give it to you."

Your heart beat wildly in your chest. You so desperately wanted to believe Gundham's words. You wanted to believe you were worthy of love, that someone could love you. That Gundham loved you. "How do I know you're telling the truth?" You whispered, your hands slowly reaching up to cling to his scarf. "How do I know you aren't lying to me for a joke or for a dare?"

Gundham smiled lovingly as he leaned even closer to you. "Allow me to prove it to you." He murmured before connecting your lips again in a soft and sweet kiss. He placed a hand on your hip and gently pulled you closer to him before wrapping that arm around you, trapping you protectively against his chest.

Your eyes fluttered closed as you melted into the kiss, your hands gripping his scarf tighter. You whimpered softly into the kiss as he deepened the kiss, lightly nibbling on your lip. Eventually he pulled apart, allowing you both to breathe. As you caught your breath, you placed your arms around Gundham's neck and buried your head into his neck allowing your tears to flow freely now. "I...I love you so much, Gundham!" You cried out. "I always feel so safe around you, I was just so scared it was a lie. I was scared to trust you."

Gundham smiled softly as he rubbed your back, placing a light kiss on your forehead. "My goddess, believe me when I say this." You giggled as Gundham spoke with his normal mannerisms. He gently took your chin in his and lifted it up. "I will forever keep you safe. No one will ever harm you again as long as I am on this mortal plane. Am I understood?"

You smiled up at him and nodded. "Yes, Gundham." You answered.

He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "You are the most exquisite being to ever grace this world. No mortal could ever dream of coming close."

You blushed as you leaned up and kissed him. "Thank you, Gundham." You whispered. "For everything."

The overlord chuckled and brushed your cheek with the back of his hand. "No need to thank me, my princess. I would gladly traverse the Nine Hells if it meant your happiness would be assured."

You smiled widely at his comment, and for the first time in forever, you believed someone genuinely loved you.

[soobrat]

lost n’ found || Beomgyu

𝕤𝕞𝕦𝕥, 𝕗𝕝𝕦𝕗𝕗, 𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥

t o  s k i p  s t r 8  t o  t h e  s m u t  l o c a t e  t h i s  d i v i d e r:

★ 𝔹𝕖 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕪 ★:

v long

handcuffs

mentions of injury/blood

toxic friends & boyfriend

cunnilingus

female!reader

this was a request I took way too long to deliver T_T

-

day one - heartbreak

For a new cop, seeing a girl walking alone at night with gashes in her arms was extremely off-putting. Beomgyu immediately pulled over next to you before rolling down the window.

"Do you need a ride?"

"Please." you reply, void of emotion.

You were really silent during the ride, the only noise in the car being the GPS sounding off directions. Beomgyu had to ask. You might still be in danger.

"Are you okay? Will you be safe once I drop you off?"

"Yeah, the only thing that's putting me in danger is myself."

Beomgyu gripped the steering wheel. Well at least you weren't being stalked by a murderer?

"What happened?"

"I really don't wanna talk about it." You shifted closer to the door, staring out the window. Beomgyu adjusted his mirror to keep an eye on you.

"Are you sure? It might feel better to get it off your chest-" He was interrupted by you thudding your head against the window and groaning.

"I'm sorry, I just- I really don't wanna think about it. It physically pains me."

That's when Beomgyu remembered. Your gashes. Looking at them now up close, they were worse than he thought.

"You need to go to the hospital."

"I really don't want to." He watched as you cringed, recalling the events.

Beomgyu sighed before making a very loud (and illegal) u-turn.

"H-hey! What the fuck-"

-

Beomgyu and the nurse waited in anticipation for the explanation for your gnarly injuries. Beomgyu should've left a long time ago, dropping you off was enough, but he was intrigued. In a weird, probably morbid way.

You shifted on the hospital bed uncomfortably.

"Well, I was out drinking with... friends..." you felt hesitant when referring to them in that way.

"...And I dropped my drink and shattered it. One thing led to another and I ended up slipping and falling onto the glass."

The nurse gasped, "Oh wow, I can still see some in your arm. You must be in a lot of pain! Did you hit your head at all?"

"No." You looked sullenly at the ground. Beomgyu noticed the smudged makeup and dried tears down your cheeks. You looked exhausted.

"I'll go get a doctor." The nurse scurried off, keen on easing your pain as quickly as possible. The weird thing was, you didn't look like the gashes in your arm were bothering you. Beomgyu sat in the chair next to your bed.

"Did your friends do something?" You were silent, still silently looking at the ground.

"You don't have to tell me, but I just thought maybe you'd wanna get something off your chest."

A tear rolled down your cheek as your lip quivered.

"If you need any help legally I could help you out-"

"No." You shook your head, wiping away the tear with your wrist.

"That's not necessary for this situation."

Your depressed state was starting to cause pain to him. You just looked so miserable.

"Sorry." Beomgyu whispered.

"For what?"

"Whatever they did to you. Your friends, I mean."

"And boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now." You laughed, void of any actual amusement.

"My best friend of 4 years was keeping me busy for some odd reason. I caught on to it and tried to leave and find my boyfriend, but she was stopping me. Once I broke free from her I saw my boyfriend of three years who she set me up with, making out with my best friend since middle school. Things got heated, I was so angry, angrier than I had ever been or ever thought I could be," The rage in your eyes was the most emotion Beomgyu has seen you have since he met you.

"Were they plotting against me? I don't even fucking know, but all I know is that I was tired of all the bullshit spilling from those assholes and I threw a glass. Now everyone was looking at me, and without context I felt the whole room turn against me. I went to run out and I slipped on the drink and onto the glass. The whole room gasped, then a couple people laughed." Your eyes were flickering around, feeling them burn as more tears threatened to spill.

"That was the smallest I had ever felt in my life."

"Fuck those people!" Someone yelled on the other side of the curtain. You laughed pitifully, but as you looked over at Beomgyu, he was frowning.

"That, doesn't even sound real. I'm so sorry you even had to deal with human beings like that. Like he said, fuck those people." You nodded, wiping away the tears that slipped.

"You'll get over them in no time."

"No, fuck time. Time means nothing. I spent all that time investing in those people, just for them to spit in my face."

Beomgyu didn't know what to say to that.

"I guess you have a point."

- day eight

It had been a week since you met that police officer. You never got his name. He was such a nice person, and also amazingly handsome. Who ever bags him is extremely lucky. You, on the other hand were still dealing with your ex that you'd broken up with multiple times keeps showing up at your apartment.

"I don't like her at all! I thought that I would like her more than you but I just don't. Every time I was with her all I thought of was you."

"You sound like an idiot Kevin, do you not hear yourself? I want nothing to do with you. I'd sleep easy knowing I'd never see you again."

"You don't mean that! I don't believe that you got over me that fast, ___. We were just in love a week ago!"

"I was. You weren't. You were too busy thinking about Nancy to be in love with me." Now he was forcing you to think about things you didn't want to. You'd be lying if you said you didn't still have feelings for him. He was making it a lot easier to get over him each time he did this though.

"You don't even know what you're talking about right now!"

"Alright then enlighten me. What was going on between you, Nancy, and Joowon, huh? Were you guys plotting something behind my back? And for how long? Oh and after I fell and made a fool of myself? You didn't even care to check on me? Drive me home? Since you love me so much?" You balled your fists, ready to spill everything.

"___, lets go inside and talk." Kevin tried to grab your arm but you yanked it away from him.

"No lets let the whole complex know how much you loved me, and how much I should take you back!" You probably looked like a crazy person with your eyes wide and nostrils flaring.

"You're gonna get the cops called on us!"

"Do you know how many stitches I had to get? I was in so much pain not only physically, but emotionally!"

"And I apologized to you!" You felt your blood boil.

"Sorry won't give me my 10 years back! 10 years of Nancy's toxic behavior towards me and I never gave you or her anything but love. You knew how much she hurt me!"

"Sorry to interrupt, but we've gotten multiple noise complaints-" The man stopped mid-sentence. You were still staring dead at Kevin. You chest was heaving, face hot, tears threatening to spill. Man, were you tired of feeling like this.

"I told you! Look officer, we're sorry for causing any trouble. I'm her boyfriend-"

"No you're not."

The blunt statement caused you to finally tear your eyes away from Kevin. It was him, the cop from that night.

"Excuse me?"

Beomgyu turned more towards Kevin, a smile on his face.

"I know for a fact that you're not this girl's boyfriend." He extends a finger towards you. Kevin crosses his arms over his chest.

"And how do you know, Officer Choi," Kevin pokes his nametag, "that she isn't my girlfriend?"

"Because he's my boyfriend." You pipe up, smiling just as smugly at Kevin as the cop was.

"Bingo." Beomgyu smirks at you with a wink. Kevin turns towards you.

"Really? It's only been a week, ___. I've known you for three years and I'm not fucking stupid. What's his name?"

"Choi..." You looked towards the cop.

"Beomgyu."

"Beomgyu! My boyfriend's name is Choi Beomgyu, thank you very much." You were just having fun at this point. Seeing Kevin be that flabbergasted at the act you were pulling was beyond satisfying. It was his turn to be infuriated.

"This game you're playing? It's gonna get you fired. You're claiming my girlfriend? While we're still in a relationship?"

"Ma'am, is this man bothering you?" Beomgyu ignored him and turned towards you. You put on your best concerned face.

"Yes sir! He's been stalking me for days and won't go away." You rush over to Beomgyu and cling to his side in feigned fear. Kevin's arms flopped to his side in defeat. He rolled his eyes.

"Really? This is just childish now."

"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave before you get yourself into trouble."

Kevin already had the fight taken out of him from arguing with you.

"Grow up, ___." Kevin spat before finally leaving.

When Kevin was out of earshot you looked up at Beomgyu. He was peering around the corner at Kevin. When he turned back to look down at you, you realized you were still latched to his side. You quickly removed yourself clearing your throat. You looked back up at him with a smile.

"That was very relieving." You bursted into laughter, recalling the events that just unfolded. He was trying to hide the fact that he was chuckling.

"It was cruel but yes, very." He shook his head. After the laughter subsided, you couldn't help but stare at him. Damn, he was a work of art. A perfect human being maybe?

"Hey, do you wanna come inside?"

"I do want to but... I'm still on the clock. I look forward to seeing you again, ___." The corner of this mouth perked up as he left you there.

And see you again he did. He adamantly refuse to pursue you romantically.

"You're still getting over Kevin." He says. You didn't really care right now, you just wanted Beomgyu. No, you wanted to feel Beomgyu. And you let him know that.

day fifteen

He was over at your place, sitting across from you at the dining room table.

"Are you in a relationship?"

"No! I've told you this." Beomgyu reminds. You rolled your eyes.

"Then let's date." You cocked your head to the side, waiting for his answer. He just sighed and picked up his glass of water.

"I'd love to, not any time soon though."

"Fine," You slap your hands onto the table,

"Make me cum then, please." Beomgyu nearly choked on his water.

"___!" He clears his throat, setting down the glass.

"No strings attached, I'm just asking you to help me release some stress, my hands are tired."-

He never answered verbally that day. On his way out you just asked him to bring handcuffs if he was down. So a couple days later your opening the door to Beomgyu.

day eighteen

He brushes past you and sets a bag down on your coffee table. He pulls a pair of fluffy handcuffs out.

"What the hell are those?"

"They're more gentle on your wrist. They're made for sex." You shoulders drop as you look at him with puppy dog eyes.

"What if I want that extra pain?" You pout as those naughty words left your lips. Beomgyu sighed before taking the real handcuffs out. You gasped excitedly. You clenched your thighs imagining the cold metal against your skin. Then the two of you locked eyes. That's when you realized who this was happening with.

Everything was happening so fast that you didn't register who exactly you'd be having sex with. This was like a dream come true. You felt your body ignite as you walked toward him. You throw your arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss. Your lower regions react positively to his scent and touch. You arch into him as he wraps his arms around your waist. You wrap a leg around his waist, trying to gain as much friction as possible.

You whimpered as he pulls away. He grabs the handcuffs and moves to the bedroom. You follow him eagerly. When you enter behind him he slams the door shut before grabbing you by the throat. He pushes you onto the bed.

"Sit against the headboard, quickly." He began stripping his shirt off. As you settled against the headboard, you watched as he unwrapped his amazing body.

"Arms over your head." You obeyed, eager for the cuffs. You felt goosebumps erupt over your entire body as he closed them around your wrists.

"Now be a good girl and watch." Beomgyu sinks between your legs, his nose slightly brushes against your clit. You shuttered as his breath fanned across your womanhood. His tongue darted out, firm as it navigated your sensitive folds and clit. You wanted to keep your eyes on him as he worked his magic but all you could manage was to throw your head back. You let out a guttural moan, tugging against your restraints.

"Mm... it feels so good." Your balm coated lips glided against each other silkily as you pursed them. You go to clench your thighs but he pries then back open. He gripped the flesh of your thigh as he dips his tongue into your entrance. Chills run up your legs and he rakes his fingernails down your thighs. His marvelous tongue causes your stomach to tighten much faster than any other experience you've had.

"Hah- I'm c-close Beomgyu!" You raise your hips up from the bed, clenching your fists tightly. Beomgyu lifted his head from your heat, inserting two digits into you. Your hand lurch forward, shocked by the sudden fullness. You go to thrust your hips and meet his hand but he holds you down. He begins rapidly pounding his fingers into you.

"Say my name again baby." He was breathless, chin glistening. You felt like a dam was close to breaking.

"B-Beomgyu please!-" You squealed as you clamped you're thighs shut. He was just about to pry them back open when liquid came gushing from your core. Your eyes rolled back, biting your lip as your legs twitched. You whimpered loudly as Beomgyu kept finger you vigorously, milking everything out of you.

"P-please stop! Mmph-"

Beomgyu complies, wiping his fingers off on his pants. He began crawling over you to un-cuff you. He holds your wrists in his hands with a frown. You look up at him in absolute bliss before giggling.

"Damn." Your head falls to your left, just wanting to sleep as you were. Beomgyu was still focused on your wrists, massaging them.

"How do you feel, are you less stressed love?" He moved his gaze from your reddened wrists to your hooded eyes. You nod tiredly, a peaceful smile gracing your features.

"A little less, yeah."

-

day twenty-three

The first thing Beomgyu did every time he saw you was grab your wrists. He brought them closer to his eyes and examined them. He frowned.

"They still haven't healed?"

You glance at your wrists then at him and chuckle.

"It hasn't even been a week Beom." Your smile wavered a bit as you watched his face. The way he was looking intently at your wrists as he massages them. Your eyes rake over his features, taking in every crease and pore. You felt your cheeks flush, it's difficult to look away from him. His presence, you noticed it caused a warm cozy feeling. It gained more depth each he visited.

"You're staring, love." You we're shaken from your daze. The smile on his face was nearly splitting his face in half. It made you smile just as bright.

"Hey I don't think Kevin would be too happy about you looking at me like that."

"Who?" You shot him a genuine look of confusion. He responded with one of disbelief. It took only a couple seconds for you to realize your brain fart.

"Oh!- shit" You slapped yourself hand over your mouth, snorting.

"You were being serious?!" Beomgyu keeled over, bursting into laughter. You slapped his shoulder, pouting. He rose back up, tears in his eyes.

"As funny as it is, it's a great sign for your well-being I'd say."

You smile at him, cheeks almost pushing your eyes closed.

-

day thirty-two - realization

You can't stop thinking about him. It's not just in a sexual way either. His beautiful smile, his scent, the tender embraces, his laugh, his fingertips, his lips, god- his tongue. His taste, his nose, his eyes, his skin.

You could feel your heart beating against your ribcage. Your chest rising and falling at a quicker rhythm than usual. You purse your lips and shut your eyes.

Where is he? You had to see him.

Are you at home?

Yup

Cool, what's your address?

Why?

You were close to saying something about how unfair it was that he knew yours but you didn't know his... but no, it's serious.

I need to see you I want to come to you

Okay love ❤️

-

You kept trying to swallow but your mouth and throat were dry. It was terrifying waiting for the door to open. You were about to knock again when the door swung open. Your eyes must've sparkled when they laid upon Beomgyu. You felt like you were gonna burst. He pushed himself outside, still holding onto the door.

"What's wrong?"

"I love you, Choi Beomgyu." You felt your eyes burn. He looked shocked, you kept talking, a bit scared of what was to come.

"I-it's really sudden, I understand that. I've never said I love you this quick to anyone, but I know I love you. So I'll ask again if you'll please be my boyfriend?- hey!" He picked you up and swung you over his shoulder. He kicked his front door closed before plodding towards his room. 

He sets you down gently on the bed, immediately climbing over you.

"Yes, of course I will. I love you too, ___."

His lips meld with your so softly. He caressed your face in his hands as his tongue swiped across your bottom lip. His thumb stroked your cheek, pecking repeatedly at your lips. Your noses bump each other as you tilt your head, deepening the kiss. You snake your arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. You feel his bulge push into your thigh. You moan into the kiss, his tongue finally slipping into your mouth. Your tongues glide against each other, plush lips brushing against each other also. You grip the hair at his nape as you push your hips upwards into him.

He moves his hands down your body, caressing each curve and dip. He slides your pants and underwear down to your ankles, disconnecting the kiss. You whine, watching as he disrobed. He slowly lined himself up, brushing the tip against your folds. You sigh and move ever so slightly to gain more friction. He interlocks his fingers with yours before finally pushing past your entrance. You let out a strangled moan, squeezing his hands. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, leaving sloppy kisses up the base of your neck.

He thrusted forward, pushing himself in deep as he spread your legs farther. A strangled moan was pulled from your body in response. His bit harshly into his bottom lip. He finally gained a rhythm he was confident in. Sweet, firm kisses were trailed up your jawline, comforting you through the pressure. Once you felt comfortable you locked your legs around his waist. You raised your hips in sync with each of his thrusts. He rested his forehead against yours, breath fanning against your face as he panted. Your moans were rhythmic in reaction to his hips meeting yours.

He pressed his hips down flat against yours. The action caused his member to go burrowing deep inside you.

"Mmph!" Your arms fly around his shoulders, biting your lips. His head moves back into your shoulder as his rhythm gets weaker. His knees fail him, causing him to lay flat against you. He begins grinding up into you, chest flush against yours. You fuss and whine, orgasm so close yet not at all close enough. You dig your fingers into his back, feeling absolute bliss as your clit rubs against his skin. Your breathing picks up.

"I'm... I'm right there." You pant out, eyes rolling up into your skull. You wrap your legs tighter around him. Your hands flailed, trying to find something- anything to hold onto. His thrust were getting heavier as he grunted louder and louder. You clench the sheets as your orgasm rocks through your body. His hips snap spastically as your core sucked up every drop of his orgasm.

The embrace the two of you shared didn't waiver. In fact, you held him tighter.

"I love you." He said again. You smiled, stroking his broad shoulders. The exhaustion suddenly overcame you. Your arms drop from his body.

"I love you too." You mutter, barely audible. He scoffed, pushing himself up on his forearms.

"Say it better than that. Hey, don't  flop to the side."

You giggle as he poked at you.

"Let me sleep heathen!" You hide from him under the covers.

day fifty-one

You wrap your arms around Beom's left bicep. It was so comfy, but you knew he had to get up for work.

"Don't go..." you whine, already accepting that he had to go.

"I'm sorry love," he pulled away reluctantly. He pulled his shirt off, walking to the bathroom. You're half over him leaving watching him in that state. He stops just before opening the door, exclaiming as if he remembered something.

"I forgot to tell you, Nancy got arrested the other day. Turns out she got in trouble while driving or something? I think she didn't have her re-"

You shot up from the bed. "Hurry up and get ready. You're doing god's work, you saint."

[daddystevee]

This Isn’t You

(Steve Harrington x reader)

Im trying something out here. Something a little bit more from my mind instead of feeding directly off of the story line. I’m also gonna try to get these one shot type things out a little more. I really like this one and im kinda seriously proud of it. So this takes place immediately after season 2. In this fic- were just gonna pretend that Steve and Nancy didn’t get back together at the end of season one :p

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: blood and cursing and some FLUFF

><

“I can’t keep acting like I don’t know that you're keeping secrets from me.” you call out a little louder and angrier than you had planned to. Steve was sitting on the edge of your bed when you walked into your room, rag in one hand and a bowl filled with warm water and soap in the other. 

Your boyfriend had shown up at your doorstep, at nearly 1 in the morning, face covered in blood and his two eyes starting to turn purple at the inner corner. Thank God your parents had gone to visit your brother, who was currently at college, because otherwise you’d be totally screwed.

Over the last week or so you had this weird gut feeling that Steve had been hiding something from you. He normally would call you at night before going to bed, but as of lately he wasn’t doing so. He would ignore your calls and if he did answer he wouldn’t stay on the line for very long.

“This just isn’t like you, Steve. I don’t know what it is or what happened to you, but I really don’t like it.” 

He wasn’t responding to anything you were saying, but looked up at you with the smallest tinge of guilt in his eyes. Even if he did tell you the truth it’s not like you would believe him anyways, no one would. You sat down next to him and looked him in the eyes and sighed,

“This might sting a little” you say as you dip the dry cloth into the soapy mixture. Setting the bowl onto the ground, you moved as close to Steve as you could to make sure you got all of the cuts cleaned. You made sure to get the easy parts first, taking the rag under his nose, around his eyes and on his cheeks. He hissed when you wiped around his busted lip and chin. You gently peeled the band-aid's off that were on his forehead and chin, so you could get a better look at what you were working with.

><

After you had finished cleaning and properly taking care of his wounds you walked out and into your older brother's room and grabbed a set of pajamas for Steve. 

“Here put these on.” you say throwing the clothes at him

“Y/N, I’m going home. I don’t need these-”

“No Steve, you’re not going home. I’m not gonna let you avoid this anymore, we’re gonna sit here and we’re gonna talk things out. I don’t care what kind of crazy excuse you’re gonna throw at me this time, but I’m not catching it.” you say cutting him off, you refuse to let him get out of this. You’re his other half, the two of you are supposed to be honest and open about everything with each other.

Steve sighed before putting the clothes down and grabbed your hand, leading you out of your room and down the stairs to the kitchen. 

“Sit down.” he said before moving over to your parents liquor cabinet and pulling out a bottle of whisky and setting it down in front of you, “you’re gonna need this.”

><

“So do you understand why I haven’t been around?” he asks leaning against the counter, an ice pack being held against his forehead with one hand and his other arm folded across his stomach.

You had your head leaned onto the back of your chair looking up to the ceiling trying to process everything he had just told you.

“So you’re telling me that when the Byers boy went missing, he was just stuck in an alternate universe with weird freaky monsters called-”

“Demogorgons”

“yeah demo- whatevers, and there’s a girl that can move things with her mind and she’s from this other dimension or has access to it and you’ve been fighting these monsters with a bunch of 12 year olds?”

“Yup”

“And you went into some underground tunnels to light them on fire to distract smaller versions of those- demo things from attacking the girl with powers so she could close the gate between the worlds? But in the process you got your ass beat by Billy Hargrove- hence why you're covered in cuts and bruises?”

“Yeah pretty much.” he says doubting you’d ever believe him. There was a long pause filled with painful silence.

“Okay, yeah. I get it.” you say with no trace of sarcasm in your voice. 

Steve just stares at you in disbelief, “Wait, you actually believe me?”

You hop down off of your chair and walk over to your boyfriend wrapping your arms around his middle, “Of course I do, I mean it sounds unbelievable, but something tells me that you wouldn’t sit me down with an entire unopened bottle of whisky to tell me some bullshit story.” 

Steve lets out a sigh of relief as he puts the ice pack down on the counter and wraps his arms around your shoulders pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Thank God, I thought you were gonna think I’m a crazy-”

“Oh, I do think you’re crazy, crazy enough to go through all this without me. I want in next time.” you say cutting him off.

“Oh, no, no, no. You will NOT be part of this.”

“And why not? Is there something else you’re hiding?” 

“No- I just, I don’t want you to get hurt. If something were to happen to you I don’t know what I’d do.” you look up into your boyfriends gorgeous brown eyes to see them with tears threatening to spill over.

“Oh, Stevie.” you say nuzzling your head further into his chest, “I appreciate you wanting to look out for me but, we’re in this together. Monsters and all.”

“I mean, I guess you would look pretty hot swinging the nail bat around beating the shit out of a Demogorgon.” he says lightening the mood a little but there was a hint of seriousness in his voice

“Nail bat? What’s that?” you ask pulling away from him.

He looks at you like you just messed up the ABC’s, “It’s a bat, with nails in it.”

“oh well, duh. Well you’ll just have to teach me how to use it one day.”

You smile up at him and go up onto your tippy-toes, giving him a small kiss on the lips, “It seems like you’ve had a long couple of days, let’s get you to bed, shall we? You go ahead and get ready for bed, I’m right behind you”

You didn’t have to tell him twice, booking it up the stairs and to your room. You walk to the front door to lock it, then head back into the kitchen, making sure to turn off all the lights in the house before heading upstairs. By the time you had brushed your teeth and walked into your room, Steve was already asleep in your bed. You climb underneath the blankets and reach to turn off the lamp before laying with your back to Steve. You feel Steve snake an arm over your stomach and pull you in closer to him,

“I love you” he mumbles half asleep

“I love you too, Stevie” you say as your final words before you drift off into sleep.

Steve can’t deny that even though he doesn’t want you near any of this Upside Down shit, he wouldn’t wanna fight some other world monsters beside anyone else.

[secretsantasides]

Gift #17

Gift for @oopsimfade

Triggers: unsympathetic Virgil

Request:  Intruloceit, Wheelchair user Logan.

Logan huffed as he observed his bedroom door, trying to think of a way to get out with his wheelchair. Yes, wheelchair. He had hurt his legs while doing an experiment and they wouldn't fix themselves, so he needed a wheelchair until it was better. Logan decided to widen the door, so he did. Once he was out, he went towards the stairs. He only needed to get some coffee then he'd go right up to his room and stay there until his legs were healed. It would be for the better, that way the others wouldn't bother him. Besides, he could get a lot of work done while he waited. Logan sighed as he finally managed to get down the stairs in one piece. He went into the kitchen, not seeing anyone around. He quickly tried to make coffee. However, making food and drinks wasn't really his specialty. That was more Patton's ability. He would like to learn how to do it, but that'd have to wait. Logan waited for the coffee to finish, and just when he thought he could get away unseen he heard a gasp. Logan turned his head around and there was none other than Patton and Virgil. "Logan? What happened??" Patton asked loudly, and Logan could tell how worried he was. Virgil just rolled his eyes and snorted.

"Probably some dumb experiment," Virgil sneered, walking past Patton to grab something to eat. 

Soon enough, Roman had arrived too and he was just as curious as Patton. "I'd rather not say," Logan sighed, grabbing his cup of coffee. He tried to leave but Patton blocked his way. "Please tell us! We're- well, i'm worried!" Patton pleaded, but Logan shook his head. By the looks of it, he wasn't going to get out of this one so easily. "Pfft- he probably doesn't even need it," Virgil hissed. Virgil seemed to be... angry? Logan would never understand how Virgil's emotions worked. He wouldn't really understand emotions at all. "Padre, just tell us already. We're gonna find out eventually," Roman said, tapping with his foot. Roman was impatient, and Logan could tell the others were too. "I'm not telling you, so just let me go!" Logan growled, feeling his temper run short. He knew the others didn't like it when he yelled at them, so he hoped it was enough to get them away. "Tell us!" Virgil yelled. "No!" Logan yelled back. Then it was over. The others left, but not before shoving his wheelchair so it almost fell. Logan huffed and tried to talk to them, but they seemed to ignore him. Like always. Logan just took his coffee and left to his room again. He had some trouble getting up the stairs but soon enough he was in his room. As Logan worked and drank his coffee, there was a knock at the door. He recognised it being Virgil immediately. Believe it or not, but he had memorized each of the others knocks. "Come in," Logan answered. In came Virgil, he seemed to be seething with anger. Why would Virgil be so mad? And why did he come there to talk about it? "Why are you so angry?" Logan asked, catching Virgil by surprise. "Because you won't tell me why you're in that wheelchair! Do you even need a wheelchair? I bet you don't!" Virgil growled, stepping closer to Logan who narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me? Are you saying that i'm lying?" Logan asked, trying to calm his own anger. Virgil nodded and Logan gritted his teeth. "Why would i be lying?! I don't have to tell you anything!" Logan basically screamed, not being able to contain his anger. This only seemed to make Virgil angrier as he stepped even closer and pushed Logan's wheelchair back. "Just because you're logic, doesn't mean you have any right to lie! It's not strange that we all see you as a joke! You never tell us anything interesting and you're always such a buzzkill!" Virgil screamed, his face basically red in anger at this point. Logan was at a loss of words, tears threatening to fall as Virgil grabbed Logan's arms. "If you're in such a big need of a wheelchair, prove it!" "Virgil, i-" Logan never got to finish his sentence as Virgil threw him to the floor by his arms. Logan whimpered and made a face as pain shot through his legs. The pain doubled and Logan couldn't contain a pained scream as Virgil stepped on his legs and crushed them even further. "S-sto-o-p.." Logan stuttered through his pained cries as Virgil crushed harder. Virgil just laughed and leaned down to talk into Logan's ear "You're pathetic, Logan. You call yourself logic? You can't even withstand pain. Ha! What a pathetic joke you are. I don't want anything to do with such a bad joke as you," Virgil sneered before standing up straight. He chuckled before spitting on Logan and turning around. "Remember Logan. You're a joke. A pathetic lying joke," was the last thing Virgil said before shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets and leaving, slamming the door behind him. Logan was left on the floor, not being able to get back up into the wheelchair. He stared ahead, not blinking as to not trigger the tears. That didn't work as the tears fell anyways. Logan layed there for what felt like hours as Virgil's words sank in and swirled around in his head. They were really getting to him, and he was desperately trying not to cry. What Logan didn't expect was for a knock to sound from his door. He stared at the door, actually scared that it'd be Virgil. He didn't think Virgil would be back, though he couldn't be sure. "Logan? Are you there?" He heard Deceit call out. Wait, Deceit? Logan didn't answer, only laying there as he stared ahead. What he hadn't noticed, was that two figures had at one point entered his bedroom. "Logan?" he heard someone else call out right in front of him. It snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Remus and Deceit. What was the two of them doing on the light side? "Don't come near me," Logan growled as he used his hands to crawl away with his feet limply hanging behind him. This surprised them both, and Remus wasn't giving up so he followed. "Logan.. What happened to you?" Remus asked as he reached out to touch Logan's cheek. Logan slapped his hand away, however. "Don't. Touch. Me," Logan hissed. Deceit wondered what Virgil had done to make him act like that. Logan was usually so calm and rational. Not so.. Hissy. Virgil's words swirled around in Logan's head. Pathetic, joke, liar, bad, buzzkill, boring. Each word etched themselves into his brain and his him like a brick. Maybe he was just a joke. A bad but pathetic joke. A boring buzzkill that shouldn't be on the face of the earth. Logan must've spaced out again because he found himself back in his wheelchair with two worried faced right in front of him. "Get away from me! I'm fine!" Logan screeched, the words bad and a joke basically screaming in his face. They continued to stare with worry nonetheless. "Logan... You're crying. Something has to be wrong." Deceit pointed out with a sigh as Remus nodded in agreement. "W-What?!" Logan asked, letting his hands feel his face. He was surprised when his fingertips pulled away wet. The two known darks sides tried to get near Logan so they could comfort him for quite a long time, but Logan kept slapping them away while hissing and glaring. Logan didn't need help. He was perfectly fine. Yeah, he was fine. Right? That though was quickly erased when Deceit finally managed to sneak close enough to get a hug. Logan tried to get them away by hitting them but when Deceit wouldn't budge and Remus joined the hug, he felt the bottles containing his emotions burst. He didn't trust them but he couldn't contain his sobs and crying now and he needed to find comfort somewhere. He needed someone to feel safe with, and the two dark sides were the only option. So he let himself break down in their hold. And they didn't pull away. They didn't get angry or say he was pathetic for it. They simply held him and hugged him tightly as they let him cry. Logan had never expected that. He thought everyone expected him to be emotionless and strong mentally. Guess i was wrong... He was wrong. For the first time, he admitted to himself that he was wrong. That made him kind of happy. He was wrong. Not everyone expected him to be strong, emotionless, fixed Logan. Not everyone judged him. Even if it was the two dark sides of the mindscape. And as he was allowed to cry as much as his tiny heart needed to, he felt himself smile slightly. Logan felt them move him to the bed and the three layed down, Logan still sobbing quietly. He felt them lay on one side each of him, and he curled up between them. Remus layed behind Logan, and Deceit layed in front of him. They cuddled Logan close, letting him cry as much as he needed to. The three eventually fell asleep in each others comfort. Logan felt that things may get better for him with the two dark sides with him. They let him be imperfect and they let him cry. He might improve, and he'd be better than any of them ever expected. That was a promise.

[spectraspecs-writes]

Korriban - Chapter 83

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 82. Chapter 84.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

——————

Well, that’s interesting. The Star Map on Tatooine was obviously in a cave, but this one is more like underground. But not like a natural cavern. It was constructed, or at least constructed around. Bastila isn’t in the quarters when I wake up, so as soon as I get dressed, I head out into the main hold. Carth’s in there, sitting in front of an untouched cup of caff. No idea how long it’s been there, or how long he’s been there, but the cup isn’t steaming so it’s obviously cold.

Bastila’s in there, looking a little dazed, but when I come in, she sits up and looks at me. “You felt it, yes?” she asks, “Another vision? The Force continues to work through us; showing us the Star Maps unearthed by Revan and Malak.” She looks a little unsettled now. “There are some who believe Korriban is the birthplace of the Sith… this planet is an evil place. There are secrets here best left uncovered.”

I sit down next to her. “It looked like the Star Map was underground somewhere.”

“Yes, during the vision I felt cold and trapped, almost as if I was buried alive. It felt… it felt like we were in some kind of tomb. No doubt things will become more clear once we discover the Star Map's location.”

“Right, about that ‘we,’” I say, “I think if you go out there, the Sith might recognize you.”

She resituates herself. “Hmm…” she says, “…maybe you're right. Most of the dark Jedi would only know me by name, but there are a few among them who might recognize my face. For the safety of our mission I must remain on the Ebon Hawk while we are on this planet.”

“That seems wise,” I say.

She gives a small nod. “Have you thought about who you do want to accompany you?” she asks, “I know you prefer to have both a ranged fighter and a Jedi.”

“Yeah,” I say, “Obviously can’t bring you. And Juhani - she’s already been to the Dark Side. I don’t want to put her back in that position. Which leaves Jolee.”

“I agree, he is the smart choice,” she says, “He’s powerful enough in the Force to shield your presence from the Sith. And for a ranged fighter? HK-47 would fit right in, I’m sure.” She grins at that.

“I’m sure he would, but I’m taking Carth.”

“Damn right, you are,” he says. Which is the first indication I have that he’s actually awake.

Bastila’s not a big fan of that. “I see,” she says in that disappointed neutral tone she has, “Rena, may I speak to you in private?” I shrug and follow her. She goes into the communications room and closes the door. “Are you sure bringing Carth is wise?” she asks, “After all, your feelings for him are quite strong. Or are you going to deny them again and insult both our intelligence?”

Oh, God, this again? “It doesn’t matter how wise it is, I wouldn’t be able to keep him here if I wanted to,” I say, “Jordo said his son is here, if I don’t bring him with me, he’ll go off looking for him himself and get us all in trouble, blow our cover. No, he’s coming.” I hate that look on her face. “And by the way,” I add, “my feelings for Carth are none of your business.”

“Rena…” she says in that disapproving teacher voice she gets, “I’ve said before, and it’s even more relevant now. These feelings for Carth could lead you to the Dark Side.”

I hate that! Even after the conversation with Jolee last night, which I would love to tell Bastila about and explain to her all of that, even though I know she would never listen to me. And I - you know, I could be patient enough to explain it to her if she wasn’t so damn holier-than-thou all the damn time! “You’re one to talk!” I exclaim, “Listen, I know how close you’ve gotten with Canderous. Hell, I’m pretty sure I heard the two of you having sex the other night! And you’re telling me about my feelings and the Dark Side? Like hell! Why do you get to have something and I don’t? Huh? What the hell kind of double standard is that?”

“Rena, that’s not what I meant…”

“So what did you mean?” How is she going to back away from this?

“I only meant that, those feelings, here, are incredibly dangerous!” she says, “Anywhere else, they’re foolish but understandable. But here on Korriban - the homeworld of the Sith! The Dark Side is particularly strong here already! I don’t want your feelings to cloud your judgement when it’s so easy for you to fall.” She stops and looks at me. “You don’t believe my reasons, do you?”

“Get the hell out of my head, Bastila,” I say, and I start to leave. “And for the record, no, I don’t. I’m frankly sick of your holier-than-thou attitude about this whole thing, and in general. You’re not my master, you’re not my mother, and you’re making it difficult for me to consider you my friend!”

“Calm down, Rena,” she says. Like hell! “Anger can lead…”

“Shut up about the fucking Dark Side! I get it, okay? God!” I know, I know, I’m fine. I take a deep breath and try to speak more calmly. “If I want your advice, I’ll ask for it.”

“Very well,” she says with a big sigh, “I will leave you be.”

I walk out a lot angrier than I mean to. I just need to calm down a bit. I almost crash into Jolee, but I stop myself before I barrel full-force into him. “You all right, lass?” he asks.

“Just a bit riled up,” I say, trying to take deep calming breaths, “Bastila giving me crap again. Would you come with me onto Korriban?”

“Yes, I think that would be a wise idea,” he says, “When would you like to leave?”

“I want to swap out my implant, then we can go,” I say, “I’ll wait by the ramp.” He gives me a small nod and we part ways. I go back to the starboard quarters and swap out the adrenaline implant I’ve got in there with one that should calm me down a bit more. The adrenaline was great when I was having allergy problems - now, not so much. And no, I don’t think the adrenaline caused my reaction to Bastila. It didn’t help, but it didn’t cause it. Either way, going out this angry is not a good idea. I need to focus, on the Star Map mostly but also on finding Carth’s son. And on not standing out.

Czerka controls the docks here, like the last two planets, but it seems different here. We walk up to the dock master. “Ahh, I see,” he says, “Another Jedi come to small Korriban, yes? Good to meet you.” He’s a lot nicer than the other Czerka dock masters.

“Jedi come here often, do they?” I ask.

“There are many people who come to Korriban from throughout Sith space, hoping to join the academy. Some of them are Jedi who have left the order. You will get into the academy for certain.” Who, me? “I understand Jedi who have left the light side are made very welcome.”

Seems like a cover has been established for me. Nice. “So I imagine.”

“But enough about that,” he says. Right, he’s about to ask me for money, I should get ready to tell him otherwise. “It is very nice to see that the Ebon Hawk has returned. I have not seen that ship for some time, indeed.” Wait, what? That really threw off my rhythm. “Since you're a regular to our little colony, the docking fee is only 25 credits.”

“Uh… sure,” I say, “Here.” I pull out my datapad and transfer the credits.

“Excellent,” he says, “Continue on through. Please be aware that the colony is under Sith jurisdiction. I'd advise you to stay out of their way.”

“We usually do,” Jolee says, and we walk on through. So now I’m out twenty-five credits. Which isn’t a big deal in and of itself, I can just sell a blaster pistol and make that back twice over. I’m just a bit more surprised that I gave it. But whatever, I shrug it off. 

Trouble coming. The first of a lot of trouble. “No,” I hear a human man scold, “that is the wrong answer. Again! You pathetic hopefuls can't possibly all be this stupid, can you?”

“P-please, Master Shaardan!” someone pleads, “Give us a chance! We'll do anything to get into the academy!”

As we get closer, I can see this Shaardan. God, what a prick. He’s the kind of guy who would kick a puppy for laughs. And now he’s got three people feeding his ego. He huffs pridefully. “I'm no master… yet… but I like the sound of that,” he says, grinning, “Alright, one more question, though the lot of you are trying my patience. Alright. Let's say you become a Sith and I am your commanding officer. I give you an order to spare the life of an enemy. Do you do it?”

Hell, I know the answer to that one. In that situation you would kill both the enemy and your leader, who’s obviously gone soft. That’s the Sith way, anyway. But these guys are a bit desperate. “Oh, of course, Shaardan!” one of them says, “Anything you command us!”

“We would never oppose you!” another says.

“No, no, no!” Shaardan says with a sigh, “Do you honestly believe that the Sith are in need of such sniveling cowards? Mercy is a weakness. If your leader shows weakness, it is your duty to kill him and show true authority, true power! That is why the Sith are strong.”

Oh, God, he’s going to kill them and they know it. “Th-thank you, Shaardan,” the third stammers, “We, uh… we understand now!”

“No, you don't understand,” he says, “And you probably never will. You wouldn't survive five seconds in the academy - the other students would tear you apart!” They start to tremble, as hard as they’re trying not to. “Bah!” he exclaims, “I can't be bothered with fools! Perhaps… I should… hmmm…”

And then he turns to me. Oh, shit. “You! Jedi!” he says, “You're looking to get into the academy, are you not?” Then he scoffs a moment. “Of course you are - why else would you be here? Let me pose a question to you. These hopefuls will never survive in the academy. A lesson must be taught, here, but I am at a loss as to what form it should take.”

Carth scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Oh, this is rich,” he says under his breath.

Jolee takes a more adversarial approach. “Well, if you can't think of anything cruel you really shouldn't be out here, young man, should you?”

Shaardan sneers at him. “I wasn’t talking to you!” he shouts at Jolee. Then he acknowledges me again. Oh, good God, that look on his face, he thinks I’m attracted to him, because of course I am, he’s the greatest person and the strongest Sith on the planet, isn’t he? Maybe even in the sector, maybe even the galaxy! God, I hate people like that. I’d punch him, but that doesn’t seem like a good idea right now. Shaardan walks closer to me, and talks like he’s ordering a meal. “I'm thinking to spare them the effort of being killed and do it myself,” he says, “Perhaps I shall turn their skin inside out? Or Force Lightning? It is a most impressive display. Or perhaps a bit of humiliation is in order? I could easily strip off their tunics and make them run through the colony. Or they could lose all control of their bodily functions… What do you think, darling? I just can't seem to decide.” Did he just grab my ass?

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Jolee holding Carth back. Which is a good idea - I’ve got this. “You know,” I say, leaning into a bit of a sultry voice, “I think you should let them go.”

He moves away, out of either shock or disgust. I don’t care - if it gets his hand off my ass so be it. “Let them go?” he repeats, “And what could possibly convince me to do that?”

“They aren’t worth your time,” I say, still with the sexy voice. He’s not as into it anymore, but it certainly helps feed his ego. I’m not going to take him down a peg now. I’d much rather get these people out of the way.

Shaardan sighs. “I suppose not, but you're as boring as they are.” Good, I can relax. He turns back to them. “Fine, fine, go on, all of you. Hopefully you've learned something here.” They run before he can change his mind. Shaardan touches me again before he leaves.

Carth is incensed. “If Jolee hadn’t held me back, I would have killed him,” he says.

“Believe me, I wanted to punch him, too,” I say. At least he’s gone and we can go.

More trouble up ahead, of the same arrogant variety. Thankfully, there’s no innocents to get out of the way this time. Just a group of Sith Academy punks who missed their chance to be bullies as kids. “Look here, my dear friends,” says their ringleader, a human - a woman who would be pretty attractive if she wasn’t such an asshole, “We have some newcomers to the colony… led by a Jedi, no less.” 

“Great,” Carth mumbles, “just what we needed. Some punks come to steal our lunch credits.”

“I don't believe I've seen any of them before, have you?” she says.

Jolee does a small scoff. “Well, if you'd seen us before, we wouldn't be newcomers, would we?”

She laughs. “Smart-mouthed newcomers, to boot.”

“Looks pretty fresh to me, Lashowe,” one of her friends says.

“That's what I thought,” she says, “Well, stranger, I don't know whether you're aware of this or not, but here on Korriban the Sith do as they please. And we are Sith. Quite literally, whether you live or die depends upon our whim. What do you think of that, hmm?”

“I think threatening a stranger is a weird thing to do,” I say, “Does that sort of meager power trip make you feel better about yourself?”

“Those are brave words for such an insignificant person,” Lashowe says, “Do you not realize how many Sith are here in Dreshdae?”

“Twelve?” Jolee says, “No, wait, thirteen!”

“Is this a raffle?” Carth says sarcastically, “How many guesses do we get?”

One of Lashowe’s friends gets pissed. “Let me kill this one, Lashowe! Let me do it!”

“Now, now,” she says, holding him back, “let's not be hasty. Perhaps our friend here could yet offer up some amusement.”

“You want amusement, hit the cantina,” I say, “I’m not a dancing girl.”

It feels tense between me and Lashowe for a moment before one of her friends laughs. “Looks like this one's not afraid of you at all, Lashowe.”

She gets mad at him. “Are you going to let us be insulted?!”

“Oh, get over yourself already,” he says, “I’m tired of this.”

A third agrees. “Yeah, this one's got some backbone, at least,” he says, “Let's go.”

Lashowe, obviously overruled and obviously upset about it, leaves with them. “Fine,” she says, not fine, “I'll deal with you later.” Ooh, I’m all a-tremble. Get real. 

[roughentumble]

alright, so, like i said i would, here’s the unedited chapter/rough draft of chapter 8, under the cut <3

keeping it basically unedited, so there may be typos, jsyk

Leg bouncing, nails chewed, eyes unfocused-- Jaskier is the image of anxiety, thoughts running around his head in circles as he waits for Yennefer to come downstairs. He'd heard what she said about making Geralt a tea, something to ease his symptoms, but questions still plagued his mind, and all he wanted was some godsdamned answers. He slumps forward a little, elbows on the table, and puts his head in his hands.

He's so tired of worrying. No answers, no respite, just... constant, low-level worry.

Heels on wood. Jaskier's head snaps up at the sound and there she is, decending the stairs, looking grim. She crosses the room altogether too slowly in Jaskier's opinion. His leg starts bouncing again.

By the time she's seated across from him, he's about ready to jump out of his own skin. "Is he going to be alright?" The words fly out of him, a little too loud, a little too fast, before she's even fully seated.

She makes him wait until she's sitting and comfortable, legs crossed. "He's not going to die."

The relief is instant. Just hearing that simple reassurance from someone who actually knows what's going on has his shoulders slumping and tears springing to his eyes. He'd been nervous, of course, but-- he hadn't been aware *just+ how nervous until now. It leaves him a little light-headed, and his hand flutters to his chest to quell his racing heart. "Oh," he mumbles, "oh thank the gods." After a breif pause, he tacks on, "And you as well. Thank you."

Yennefer shakes her head, something approaching fondness in the corners of her eyes. "Always theatrics with you."

He makes an affronted noise. "Excuse me, I just got some rather earth-shattering news, I'm entitled to a little excitement. I don't know what's going on, unlike you people."

That seems to bring her down, expression turning serious once more. "Right. He's been keeping you in the dark, hasn't he?"

"Yeah." He says quietly, rubbing his thumb across the pads of his fingers, feeling the callouses there-- a nervous habit. "I tried not to let it show, but... he was really starting to scare me, there."

She sighs heavily, and mutters *'that idiot'+ under her breath. "Well. I can't tell you everything-- it's his job to come clean, not mine. But I can shed a little light on the sickness for you." Jaskier inhales sharply, eyes lighting up at the prospect of finally getting a little clarity. "Because that's exactly what it is-- a sickness. Not a curse." Jaskier's face falls. She continues, undettered. "Magical in nature, yes, hence why witchers can have it, but it isn't catching, so you're fine."

"So--" He sounds lost, "so you're telling me," but as he continues the words grow bolder, angrier, "*you're+ telling *me+," heated, loud, "that he knew it wasn't a curse this entire time? He's just been-- been lying to my face, while I worried and doted and... and he just, what, didn't deign to tell me?"

Yennefer raises an eyebrow. "Don't shout at me about it, I haven't misled you yet, have I?" He grumbles, but concedes her point, collapsing back in his chair. "Much better."

She gathers herself for a moment, then leans forward a bit, hands resting on knees. Her tone shifts from informative into something more serious. "You should understand that this is a very... private affliction. Not only is it incredibly rare, but it also only afflicts those who are rather... witholding to begin with. He didn't lie to be malicious. Even if he were the most open man in the continent, he'd still be rather reticent to dole out the finer details." Jaskier softens a little, goes back to rubbing his fingers together. "Were he not a witcher, and were it not for the tea I'm about to supply him, he very well could've ended up dead."

He looks up at her sharply, heart squeezing painfully in his chest. "He--?"

"Rake him over the coals for all I care. But before you do, understand where he's coming from." She meets his eyes, tilts her head a little, as if sizing him up. "Surely you've had your secrets? Things you were too ashamed to share, thoughts too private to make known." He nods, averts his eyes. "He's scared. And I normally wouldn't betray his trust in telling you that, but honestly, I think he needs you to know. He isn't being cruel, at least not intentionally. He's frightened, and ashamed, so he hid it from you. Because your opinion matters to him."

Jaskier remains silent, and Yennefer pauses as well, allows the words to sink in.

"Be angry if you'd like, of course. He shouldn't have lied to you. And he's being rather stubborn about it all, if you ask me. You don't have to let him off the hook. Just make sure, if you're going to make him squirm, it's for the right reasons." She finishes, sitting up straighter in her chair.

"All I wanted..." Jaskier folds his arms across his stomach, curling in on himself slightly. "All I ever wanted was for him to be *okay+."

She sighs heavily. "Yes, I figured as much." As she stands, she curses Geralt under her breath once more for good measure. "Do with the information what you will." She says in lieu of an actual goodbye, and then strides out the door, presumably to work on the tea she'd mentioned.

Jaskier lets out a groan and slumps against the table, laying face down against it.

His stupid, awful, bull-headed, stubborn ass of a witcher, running him ragged, making him worry over nothing while hiding the true depths of the danger he was in right under Jaskier's nose, shouldering the burden himself as if Jaskier hadn't talked himself blue in the face about how he wanted to help. Maybe Yennefer was right. Maybe he *didn't+ deserve to be let off the hook. Maybe that would finally convince him to stop being such a prick about this.

He keeps working himself up like that, letting his irritation simmer. The image of Geralt bent over, clutching flowers comes to him unbidden, and he feels a pang of sadness at seeing his witcher so fragile, so... *exposed+... but he waves the thought away.

He just needs to set some ground rules, give Geralt a piece of his mind, knock some sense into the guy. He's going to march up there and tell Geralt how it is, he decides, and he stands up abruptly, determined.

===============

Jaskier marches right up to the door and shoves it open. "We need to talk." He annonces to the room, hands on his hips. Geralt blinks up at him, startled. "Yen told me," he starts, and Geralt instantly goes pale, "Yen told me that it's *not+ a curse, and, you know what else I learned from my conversation with her? That you knew all along, and you lied to me-- what, jsut because you're a *big tough manly man+ and you can handle it on your own? Well, I've had enough! Enough of the godsdammed lies, and the evasiveness, and the-- the *bullshit+, Geralt! You can't just keep me in the dark about everything all the time!"

He ends up in front of Geralt, hands still on his hips, and not entirely sure what to say next. He's realizing that he should've maybe come up with an outline of his grievances. They feel a little jumbled now that he's saying them out loud.

"Do you have any idea how frustrating it is, how frightening it is, to know something's wrong but not know what it is, or how to stop it, or how to help? I've been, essentially, squirming under your thumb for weeks now with no respite, all because of your--!" He pauses for a moment as he looks down at Geralt-- really looks.

He looks at Geralt, ready to chastize him further, and sees his wide-eyed stare. Sees his hands cupped to his chest. More blood on his lips. More flowers in his hands.

He looks... hurt.

Jaskier melts a little, expression softening. "Oh, *Geralt+," he says quietly, stepping a little closer, "did you have another attack? Why didn't you *tell+ me, why'd you just sit there and let me yell at you whlie you're hurting?"

Geralt shrugs, eyes downcast, pulls in on himself a little further, and the moment stretches out before him, fragile, like spun glass. Something in Jaskier's chest aches, and he wants to shout, *no, no, don't do that, don't close yourself up,+ but he doesn't want to shatter the moment, doesn't know how to say it without making Geralt retreat further.

"I... I deserve it." He says quietly, head bowed.

Jaskier makes a pained sound and suddenly he doesn't give a shit about shattering the moment anymore, he just wants to comfort the man in front of him. He rushes forward, clambering into Geralt's lap, throwing his arms around Geralt's neck, tucking himself into Geralt's space to hold him close, keep him from curling in. "No, you dolt, you deserve to be-- be chastized for making me worry, not... not sit there in agony and get kicked whlie you're down! I swear, you're always overreacting, always torturing yourself for no reason..."

Geralt sits stock-still, hands crushed against his chest, trapped between himself and Jaskier's enthusiastic grip. "Did you honestly think," Jaskier continues, hugging him closer, "that I... what, wanted you to suffer, or something? Did you think I was that mad at you?"

He's tense as a rock, like any wrong move might incite Jaskier's ire. Like a cornered animal. He doesn't say anything, but that's more than answer enough. Jaskier lifts a hand and starts running his fingers through Geralt's hair. For a moment Geralt stiffens even further, but after a moment his shoulders start to drop ever so slightly, and Jaskier feels him relax by inches. His head eventually droops a bit and he leans it on Jaskier's shoulder, pressing his face into the crook. "I... I didn't want you to leave." He admits, voice small.

"Oh, my dear witcher..." Jaskier rests his cheek against the top of Geralt's head, still petting. "And... what, you thought that I'd go as soon as I found out how sick you were?" Geralt nods, and Jaskier makes an admonishing sound. "Geralt, never, I'd *never+..."

"Should." He mumbles. "Got every right to. 'M no good as a muse, like this."

"As a...?" Jaskier blinks for a moment, processing his words, then he places both hands on Geralt's shoulders and gently pushes him back, just enough to meet his eyes. "You really think I give a shit about that? You're my *friend+. I don't care about the music. I'm not going anywhere, okay? You could literally set up shop in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere as a shephard, and I'd still be right there with you. Well-- admittedly, I might go on excursions to nearby towns n' such, to get nice clothes and good wine, but, I'd still come back to you. Every time. No matter what."

"I... really?" He stares up at Jaskier in disbelief, and Jaskier smiles back.

"Of course... I'm so sorry I let you think otherwise, I... I thought you knew. Especially after our conversation the other day. You're not just a job or a muse, Geralt, I... I thought you *knew+." He says sadly, brushing some of Geralt's hair out of his face.

Geralt keeps staring, looking up at Jaskier like he's a revelation. Then, all too soon, he's curling back over, coughing into his hands. Jaskier leans back to give him space, give him air, but keeps running his hands over Geralt's shoulders soothingly, murmuring gentle encouragements.

When he straightens back up, his eyes look a little misty from the effort, there's even fresher blood staining his lips, and two new blossoms rest in his palms, shaking from the effort.

Jaskier reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief. He reaches for Geralt, and Geralt ducks back a little. "I... I don't need..." he croaks out, and Jaskier shakes his head.

"You may not *need+, but I want to, so." He reaches out again, slower this time. "So let me? Please."

Geralt stills, and Jaskier sets about cleaning his mouth for him, gently swiping the cloth along his lower lip. "Listen," he says gently, still dabbing at the red on Geralt's mouth, "if you don't want to give me all the details, you... you don't have to. Yennefer said it's... personal. If you don't want to tell me-- well, I'll still pester the hell out of you, we both know that, but... just don't lie to my face anymore, alright?"

Geralt swallows hard and gives him a single, weak nod.

===========

Deep down, Geralt knows that Jaskier is wrong. He knows that if he told Jaskier the truth, the bard would leave. Or, at the very least, would pity him, treat him differently, start pulling away, and the thought of Jaskier present but distant is almost more painful than the idea of him gone...

but he wants to believe him *so badly+.

Hesitantly, he leans forward again, and Jaskier accepts him back into the circle of his arms without complaint, lets him tuck his face back into the crook of his neck. Jaskier's grip is gentle and firm all at once, calming and grounding, and he never wants to move from this spot.

*Just for a minute,+ he thinks desperately, squeezing his eyes shut and sinking into Jaskier's touch, *just let me pretend.+

[mxdanni]

And Now You Don’t. Ethan x m!MC

My Open Heart Ethan Ramsey x m!MC series:

When Push Comes To Shove (p. 1 & p. 2)

He Wasn’t Meant to Hear

Confess (+ the crew at Donahue’s)

Likeable (+Dolores)

Thinking Straight (+Dolores)

The Right Kind of Therapy

Now You See Me  (+Dr Banerji)

this one goes here (+Jenner)

Somebody’s Crush (+Elijah & Landry)

Summary: After accidentally learning about Dr Banerji, MC demands an explanation. The deal might involve a bribe (coffee), wine (at Ethan’s place) and other spilt secrets...

m!MC : Dr Cheng Lee

“...”

Cheng glanced at Dr Ramsey for what seemed like a hundredth time. The other just walked on, silently and scowling slightly at some thoughts of his own. The ones he wouldn’t care to share.

“It’s Dr Banerji, isn’t it?”

Dr Ramsey huffed.

“Oh, come on. I saw him,” persisted Cheng. “He suddenly retires, and now he’s admitted. Under a no name for no reason to make matters worse.”

Dr Ramsey shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not letting it go, are you, rookie?”

“Nope.”

“... should’ve known,” muttered Dr Ramsey.

“What?”

“It’s nothing.” Dr Ramsey, finally, looked up and to his right at Cheng. “I am telling you everything, alright? But not here.”

Cheng blinked. Then nodded and had to push the glasses up his nose. He thought about it for a second and grinned, “So you’re not leading me on to get rid of me, huh?”

“Wha–“

“Well, you did yell at me to follow you–“

“Not yelled–“

“It was more like ordered, really.” Cheng shrugged. “I don’t mind that much, you’re frustrated. Just don’t take it out on other people that often.” Cheng met Dr Ramsey’s eyes, the other was watching him very closely, his own face unreadable. “Okay, you told me to follow you after my shift, then we left Edenbrook and have been walking for some time now. In silence. And you have that scary scowling face of yours that sends the nurses hiding behind their station.”

“Really?”

Cheng chuckled at the surprised expression. “Yeah.” He grimaced and pulled on the corners of his eyes. “This one, you know,” Cheng snarled in the most intimidating voice he could manage.

“No,” Dr Ramsey reached out– but snatched his hand away before his fingers grazed Cheng’s forearm. “Do they really hide?”

“So you are not debating the scowl?” Cheng laughed, and the heavy mood seemed to be lifting a bit. “But no, they’re too scared to hide. Probably ‘cause if you don’t find them, it would make you angrier.” He pointed his finger up. “Bu-u-ut, I’ve heard they do toss a coin who comes out to help you.”

Dr Ramsey... well, almost chuckled. Cheng grinned to himself and said nothing, yet he did hear the muffled sound escape. He readjusted his glasses to cover up that he knew, or his face would’ve betrayed it all.

“So where’re we...?” Cheng traced off because Dr Ramsey, suddenly, dashed into a cafe. “Hey!” He hurried after.

There was no line at the counter so Cheng reached Dr Ramsey already ordering. “... and an... espresso romano. To go, please.” Dr Ramsey stopped Cheng’s hand reaching for his own pocket before Cheng said anything, and shook his head.

The barista handed them two cups rather quickly, and they went outside.

“So it is a bribe?” Cheng smirked.

“No–“

“Too bad. Bribe accepted!” Cheng saluted his cup and took a careful sip. “Wow, that’s good.”

A smile tugged on the corner of Dr Ramey’s lips. It was hardly even there, and yet Cheng noticed before it melted away. “Thought you’d like it. They serve it better but I’d rather not talk about, Naveen,” he lowered his voice at the name, “inside.”

“So where are we going then?” Cheng tried once again. He wasn’t even hoping to hear an answer this time.

“My place. It’s safe to talk there.”

“Oh?” Cheng missed a step when an answer did come.

“Objections?”

“No. None.” Cheng raised his hands. “I got nothing to do anyway. But just you know,” he grinned and glanced around the empty station, "I’m good at keeping secrets.”

"So I’ve noticed.”

“Wha-at? I don’t have a secret!”

“Uh-huh.” Dr Ramsey stepped into the train.

“Hey!” Cheng dashed after him and was about to settle onto the seat by his side. The train started moving as he was sitting down, and that sent Cheng flying a little. “Sorry.” He bumped into Dr Ramsey’s knee, and glasses slipped down his nose. Cheng hurriedly plumped himself down and smiled sheepishly.

Dr Ramsey cleared his throat. “We need to take a few stations,” he explained calmly, and his expression remained blank. He didn’t even look at Cheng. Dr Ramsey actually looked anywhere around the carriage but at Cheng.

They reached their destination in silence. Cheng glanced around to take the neighbourhood in but couldn’t bring himself to comment on it. Or anything else.

Dr Ramsey opened the door to his flat and held it open.

“Erm, thanks?” Cheng lingered in the doorway a bit and eyed Dr Ramsey up and down. "Ow!”

“Woof!”

“Hey, there buddy,” Cheng laughed and patted Jenner linking at his face. “So I’m a decoy, huh? And I was wondering why were you holding that door for me.” He grinned back at Dr Ramsey while still scratching behind the dog’s ears. “Is he always like that?”

Dr Ramsey cleared his throat and, rather awkwardly, stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “Give Dr Lee space, Jenner,” he scolded the dog, and Jenner jumped back to stand on all paws, rather than have two on Cheng.

“Nah, I’m fine.” Cheng bent forward to pat Jenner on the head. “Jenner’s just being very friendly.” He was almost sure he heard Dr Ramsey mutter something under his breath.

— — —

“I’m so sorry…” Cheng reached out, hesitating, yet did put his hand on Dr Ramsey’s knee. The other breathed out sharply and flinched at the contact but didn’t shove his hand away. “You know I understand just how exactly you feel, right?”

Dr Ramsey didn’t answer for some time, and Cheng waited. “Yes. You… you watch somebody very important to you, somebody you care about melt away, and can do nothing to stop it… it is so… so.”

“Helpless?” Cheng suggested.

Dr Ramsey scowled for a second but nodded in the end. “Helpless. Useless.” He moved his glass and watched the remaining vine swirl.

Jenner let out a high pitched whine as he settled at Cheng’s feet and lowered his head on them.

“I’m here.” Cheng squeezed Dr Ramsey's knee lightly. "I know, it doesn’t mean much but just so that you absolutely and surely know it. I’m here, and I am right here for you.”

Cheng felt his glasses slowly slip down his nose. He scrunched it, somehow trying to push them up – his hands were occupied either way: one on Dr Ramsey’s knee, the other held a wine glass. He felt the other’s gaze on him, eyes slowly traced down every feature…

Cheng stared. It felt suddenly so unreal, as if the time has stopped. A smile teased on the corner of Dr Ramsey’s lips, he chuckled quietly and reached out. There was still in his eyes, and the dark circles under, but somehow it felt like his expression lightened. Cheng gulped. A warm fingertip grazed his nose, a mere second, and adjusted his glasses just right. Their eyes met–

“Sorry I–“ Dr Ramsey snatched his hand and cleared his throat. He even shifted to the side so that he would seat further away on the sofa. “Don’t know what came over me."

“Uh-huh.” Cheng glanced around, his eyes lingering on Jenner by his feet. He bent down, mostly to hide his face, and petted Jenner. “N-never mind. Erm. Alright, let’s do this!” Cheng exclaimed and jumped to his feet.

Jenner yelped and sprinted around him.

“Do… what?” Dr Ramsey frowned and placed his glass on the coffee table.

"Well, I assumed you'd have copies in here as well?"

Dr Ramsey raised his eyebrow.

“Dr Banerji files? Test results?” suggested Cheng. “I might not be that brilliant but sometimes a fresh pair of eyes can help. Let me have a go.”

“You would–“

“I want to help you,” interrupted Cheng. “So let me.”

Dr Ramsey didn’t move, he was studying Cheng’s face and very intensely. Cheng could actually feel as his eyes traced his every feature. Dr Ramsey’s resolve waved, and he sighed.

“I’ll help you research,” persisted Cheng and gestured around. “Here’s good, right? Nobody will know, and I will just swing by after my shifts.”

And Dr Ramsey nodded.

“Well,” Cheng added hurriedly. “Unless it’s Friday.” He saw the other flinch, and Cheng blurted out. “That is, I will come still. But at eight I leave for half an hour and call gran. I do it every week.” Cheng looked away, over Dr Ramsey’s shoulder and through the window at the night city lights. “She’s all I got. Worried about how I manage in the big city and all. We lived in a small town.”

“Oh. Sorry, I–“

“Never mind.” Cheng shook his head. “You do wonder about my parents, don’t you?” He bent forward and scratched Jenner behind the ears. “My father died when I was three. Got killed.”

Cheng fell silent and glanced at his empty wine glass. Seemed to follow his gaze, Dr Ramsey stood up and topped both glasses again.

“Thanks.” Cheng pulled on a weak smile. The corners of his lips quivered. It felt so fake Cheng huffed a laugh. “I need that.” He took a large gulp.

“And your mother?”

Cheng laughed again. A deeper, more eerie sound. Glanced at Dr Ramsey, then into his glass and drenched the wine. “She killed him,” Cheng whispered. “They say she was slipping into madness after giving birth to me. Gran grabbed me and ran for the States. That’s it. Ugh.”

Cheng dashed to his right but couldn’t keep on his feet and landed straight onto Dr Ramsey’s lap. The other flinched, caught him in his arms still, as Cheng effortlessly snatched the half-full wine glass from his hand and downed it as well.

“You know,” Cheng whispered. He didn’t move, Dr Ramsey’s arms still secure around him, “the worst part is that gran blames herself for that.” He felt that grip tighten. “Because she insisted father married my mother. Gran thought she would make a perfect wife, and see where it landed us... a mess.” And Cheng leaned into the embrace as well.

His forehead pressed firmly against Dr Ramsey’s shoulder.

— — —-

Dr Ethan Ramsey... had no idea what to do. Honestly, there were a few things that would leave him so utterly lost, and Dr Cheng Lee has recently moved up that list. The very same intern shifted on his lap and lay back. He was now halfway sitting, still right on his lap, back against the arm of the sofa and legs draped over Ethan’s.

Ethan froze. He felt... confused. And yet Cheng looked so comfortable, so peaceful compared to the pained look the memories brought him.

Ethan wouldn’t move. He flexed his fingers midair but couldn’t resist touching, titling Cheng to his chest, his arms wrapped safely around the smaller form. He felt... besotted. Now, that was bad. One hell of bad.

Ethan closed his eyes and breathed out. Jenner raised his head and rolled over to lie next to Ethan’s feet.

“Gran supports me,” Cheng mumbled, and Ethan flinched. He glanced at him, but Cheng didn’t seem to be awake. His chest was rising steadily, and it calmed Ethan at least the intern won’t remember it. Again.

Ethan groaned silently. It was even worse than that time at intense care! Then Cheng snuggled against him but now... Well, now he decided to drape himself all over Ethan’s lap!

“In anything. You know, I saw her... my mother. Father lying at her feet, blood all over the floor.” A muffled chuckle, more of a soft gasp, escaped his lips. “I was afraid of women till primary school. Then just of women of a very particular height and build. It got better from that, gran always had my back.”

Ethan sighed and gave in. His palms slid around the warm body, one settling on the lower of Cheng’s back. The other traced up to the side of Cheng’s face, fingertips barely grazing skin.

Cheng snuggled against Ethan’s chest, and the other held him even tighter.

“And now?” mumbled Cheng. “Well, I just don’t see myself in a relationship with one.”

Ethan had no idea what he was to do with that piece of information.

- -

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[iristial]

other ‘signal’ thoughts

I wrote this yesterday but didn’t get a chance to post it, so here it is!

Me: I love romance, but it’d be nice if I could get a drama where there’s not much romance and the two leads are more like good friends Signal: *exists* Signal: Also comes with intricate storytelling Me: SLAM THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON

Okay, Jaehan and Haeyoung are technically the leads, but I’m going off Wikipedia and the order they wrote for the main cast

This whole time I thought Sunwoo was, like, a bit case that lasts for two episodes, but it was actually integral to the main character’s arc O.O

I admit I was mainly interested because Chani, but now it’s probably my most favourite case (as weird as it sounds). I think it’s due to the emotional attachment the brothers have to each other, and how it plays a part for both of our timeline heroes’ stories

I know that Jang Hyunseung is playing a villain for this drama...yet I keep thinking about his family’s appearance on The Return of Superman and how sweet he seems, so I can’t take him as seriously as I’d like

Though I probably would if I have the guts to watch this in linear order...yeah, I would. I’d be ready to claw him apart

Needless to say, his character should’ve gotten a bigger punishment at the end, but he still got the just desserts

Mad respect to the acting!!

The other case that gutted me was the one with the former thief and his daughter Eunji. In the original timeline, he was falsely accused and got put in prison for fifteen years. Then the timeline got rewritten, and he became a guy bent on revenge against another father who prioritized his own daughter’s safety. Then it got rewritten again and now he murdered that guy + the real culprit only lasted six months in jail (that bastard got his just desserts later though, it was satisfying) + the former thief died in 2005

It’s like...no matter what angle they tried to go with, fate had locked onto that former thief. Keeping him out of the equation would upset everything. And he had to go from a victim to an actual criminal...it’s so depressing to think about

The one that gave me the most chills and anger? When the bastard CEO son came back and turned out he 1) r*p*d a girl and had a tape of it 2) killed her (well, he thought he did) and 3) he had the gall to act high and mighty about everything

I’m glad that she didn’t get murdered, but I’m also sad that her friend had to die in her place

Sometimes, looking at these problems made me think of how they don’t get addressed pretty much everywhere, and that makes me angrier. Why must the rich, powerful and arrogant get away with everything? Why must women be treated as scum and the perpetrators?

You shouldn’t exempt people from the law just because they’re related to you or have connections. You can’t deny the death of someone else to keep up a delusion

[dogboy-overhaul]

Bakubitch x Reader Part Tres (Love is a Stranger)

This is the shittiest one yet. Have fun, lovelies.🖤🖤🖤

Years have passed. You graduated a few years ago. Became a sidekick, then later you became a hero. Your popularity went through the roof, especially after it seemed like you and the hero Deku were friends.

You could almost say that.

Deku was your emotional support dog, practically.

After the incident, Midoriya was the one who comforted you; even if all those years ago, you steered clear of his way in your loyalty to him.

Him.

You never cared to find out his hero name, or where he does his hero work, where his agency is. After the incident, you lost all contact with him. Of course you would. He fucked your best friend. You lost all contact with her, too. Fuck, they could be a hero couple for all you fucking care. Everyone's OT-fucking-P.

You turned bitter over the years. Your sadness erupted into a forest fire of anger and then burned down to a calm furnace fire. You seldom dated. If you called it dating. More like one night stands. You just can't bring yourself to love. The closest you have to that type of love is your friends-with-benefits relationship with Hitoshi Shinso.

Him, on the other hand.

He stayed mostly the same. The same explodey exterior. Of course, he came to respect Deku instead of continuously trying to bring him down. And his temper came down a bit, not too much.

He left you alone. He didn't keep track with you after the confrontation. He wanted you to have your space. Uraraka thought this was a perfect opportunity to snag herself a Katsuki Bakugou. He explained to her, in his very angry fashion, that what they did meant nothing to him, that he didn't like her that way and never will.

His heart still belonged to another.

Back to the present day, you two practically don't know who the other is anymore. You don't expect him to recognize you. You let your hair grow long, almost down to your waist, from the last time you saw him, and died it. You forced yourself to forget what he looks like. You deleted all his pictures from your phone, blocked his number, and burned the clothes you had that belonged to him. It was hard avoiding him in school, yes, but now you weren't in school.

You were a hero. And by now, he's already a stranger.

So here you are, walking down a street, headed to your favorite bakery to meet up with Hitoshi. You've been feeling down lately, but you didn't want to talk to Izuku right now; he's probably busy anyway.

You entered the bakery and was immediately met with the smell of sweetbreads. A smile was etched on your face when you saw your favorite purple-haired brainwasher.

"Hitoshi~!"

"Hey, sweetcakes," he replied with his usual grumpily sleepy voice. Such a sweet sound.

The both of you talked about what's been going on in each other's lives these past few weeks.

"So then I-" you stopped mid sentence to look at some guy sitting in the next booth. "Say, Toshi, doesn't he look familiar?"

He looked in the direction you were referring to and looked back at you, eyes almost seeming bewildered.

"Maybe he went to Yuuei with us!" You answered your own question in a bubbly manner. "I'm going to go say hi."

"Uh, (y/n), I don't think that's a good ide-" you were already gone before he could finish.

"Hey there! Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Well, yeah, I'm a fucking pro-hero, idiot," the ash blonde sitting in the booth looked up, red eyes glaring.

The moment he looked into your eyes, he knew who the fuck he was talking to.

"Oh, fuck. (Y/n)?"

No matter how many times you tried to forget him, you knew who he was.

"Oh." You simply replied, standing up. "Well, this was nice, but I have to go."

"No. Stay."

"For what, Bakugou?" You looked back from where you were. "You don't know me anymore and I don't know you anymore. We're fucking strangers. I'd like to keep it that way."

Bakugou's nose crunched up; he wasn't used to you calling him by his last name. But you were right. You were strangers at this point. But he still loved you.

"(Y/n), I know how hard it must be talking to me, I get it, but ple-" and here comes our savior.

"(Y/n), come on," Hitoshi put his arm around your shoulder. "It's horror movie night." He smiled and leaned in close to your ear, "you know what that means."

Bakugou was fuming at this point. "You're with this prick?" He barked. "I could've—no! should've—fucking been the one you ended up with. Not him! We could be the perfect team, the perfect couple." His voice slightly cracked.

"We aren't dating," Hitoshi informed Bakugou. "We're just friends."

"Just friends," you nodded and Hitoshi grabbed your ass.

"Come on, I'm getting impatient."

"Fucki- (y/n), please," Bakugou tried to persuade you. "I'm not fucking joking. We could've fucking been something. Just—let's talk. Please."

"Yeah, Bakugou, could've. Here," you wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to him. "I don't want you texting me nonstop. And no excessive calling either. Do that, and I block you."

He looked at the paper. She changed her number so that he wouldn't call or text her anymore. Now he has her new number.

He looked up at you. "You're serious?"

"Yeah, I'm fucking serious," when did you start cussing? You saw the annoyance in Hitoshi's eyes. "We gotta go. C'mon, Toshi. Bye, Bakugou."

Bakugou watched you and Shinso walk off, with his arm around your waist.

Of course, he was seething at this, but he can't let that show. He actually likes this bakery.

Out of anger or out of happiness he isn't sure, but he feels as if he could split the moon in two.

So months passed from that fateful encounter, and you and Bakugou have been talking more;sometimes about what happened with the incident and other times about how the two of you have been doing.

He has repeatedly asked if you were seeing anyone, particularly Hitoshi because you two seem very close. Every time, you answer no.

Bakugou walks over to your place in hopes to surprise you. You don't know he's coming over, so he's more than sure it'll work. The reason he wants to surprise you is because it's your birthday.

As he nears the entrance of your apartment, he starts wondering how he's going to get in. Then he remembered the spare key in one of your plants.

Bakugou unlocks the door to be met with silence, then a loud noise from your bedroom. He quickly rushes to your bedroom and upon opening the door, he's met with the sight of you riding the fucking bastard known as Hitoshi Shinso.

Now he can imagine what you felt when you caught him and Uraraka.

He knocked on the threshold of the door, carefully as to not break it, and cleared his throat. With the calmest voice he could muster, he said "you told me you weren't seeing anyone."

Not even bothering to get off of Hitoshi—actually, you were still rolling your hips on him—you answered him. "And I'm not."

"Do you want to stop fucking lying to my face?" His temper was getting harder to control now, what with you still fucking Hitoshi.

"I'm not fucking lying. Toshi and I are just friends."

Hitoshi leaned his head back to look at Bakugou. "We're friends with benefits." Then he looked to you. "You couldn't tell him not to come over? It's your birthday, idiot, he was bound to come."

You picked up your hips and slammed them back down on Hitoshi's pelvis, earning a groan from him. "Sorry, Toshi, I forgot."

Bakugou was angrier than before. "What the fuck, (y/n)? Is this fucking revenge for fucking Uraraka?" Now he was yelling. "I was fucking drunk, she got me fucking drunk. I made a fucking mistake, I fucking get it, but you don't have to fuck this asshole in front of me."

You sighed deeply. He was right. You hated to admit it, but Bakugou was right. You got off of Hitoshi, much to his dismay.

"Get out, Bakugou," you told him calmly.

"Bu-"

"Shut up. Toshi and I need to get changed."

"Yeah, Bakugou," Hitoshi sneered.

Feeling slightly better, he walked to your living room and sat on your three seater, waiting for you and that purple haired prick to get out of your room.

When you both met up with Bakugou, Hitoshi looked peeved, but not angry. He say down on the love seat next to the chair.

"So what'd you come here for, Bakugou?" You asked after sitting on Hitoshi's lap.

Bakugou pretended not to see Shinsou's hand grab your waist. "Stop calling me that."

"Calling you what?"

"Bakugou." You've never heard someone say their own name with such malice before. "We were best fucking friends most of our lives. We've dated befo-"

"Fine, Kacchan."

Bakugou tried to calm his temper, especially after seeing that bastard's smirk at Deku's nickname. "Whatever."

"So?"

"Yeah, what'd you interrupt us for?" Hitoshi speaks up.

"I came here because it's your fucking birthday, (y/n)," Bakugou replies. "I got you something."

"What'd you get me? A thoughtful letter apologizing for fucking my best friend before you could fuck me?" Venom laced your words.

A silence.

"Yo, I took your virginity?"

Bakugou inhaled in. How could you ever forgive him if he killed your fuck-buddy.

"No. Its not an apology letter." He grabbed a box that he threw on your couch before he barged in on you and that motherfucker.

"Wow, a box. So creative."

"Just shut the fuck already and open it." He tossed it at you.

Using your telekinetic quirk, you grabbed it and brought it to you.

"Your quirk has gotten better."

"No shit."

Opening the box, you were greeted with a white cape.

"I found it when I was cleaning my attic. Remember when we used to play."

"Bang, bang," you thought.

"Thought you'd want it back."

Hitoshi obviously didn't know about the significance and didn't care. He was scrolling through his phone when he suddenly said "Shit. My girlfriend is asking me if I'm free tonight. I'm gonna go, okay, babe?"

"Yeah, bye, Toshi," you pecked his lips when he leaned down.

"I'm rooting for you two, babe," he whispered in your ear. And then he left.

"Ahem."

You snapped out of your thoughts, realizing you were clutching the cape.

"Sorry, Baku-" you paused. "Katsuki, I was just flooded with memories."

His name. You said his name.

"Yeah, it's fine." "Thank you, Katsuki."

He got up and sat next to you. "It was nothing. I just wanted you to know that I still care. And I miss you."

"I... I miss you too, Katsuki." You leaned in closer to him. He leaned in until your noses were touching.

"I've been miserable without you."

"I know. Me too."

"I love yo-" he was interrupted by your mouth crashing into his. With whole desire, chemical fire.

He pulled back and you started laughing. "This isn't a fucking joke, (y/n). Tell me you love me." A crack in his voice. "Please."

"I love you, Katsuki," you softly said. Whole desire, the cannonball fire. "It's as if I could split the moon, in two, for you."

The two of you embraced, Katsuki holding your waist while your arms were around his neck; you both felt complete.

"I know I'm an angry fuck, and I know I'm an asshole, but, baby, please don't leave me again. We were strangers, and I don't want that anymore. I love you."

Your lips crashed against his and soon you both were a mess on the couch, ripping each other's clothes off; for the first time, Katsuki got to see your body.

You had nothing to be ashamed about, but you felt squeamish under his intense stare.

"Can you stop fucking looking at me."

"I'm sorry, you're just... beautiful," he breathes out.

"Bet Uraraka fell for that one, eh?"

"Fuck no. I may be a fucking asshole, but I'm not a fucking liar."

"My knight."

"Shut the fuck up. What has that purple shithead been telling you, 'you're the hottest girl I've ever had'?"

"Toshi? No, we fuck to fuck; no feelings, no strings attached. We don't get sentimental and we don't tell each other sweet nothings into the night. We... fuck."

"Why did you fuck her?" You asked after a brief silence.

"I... I was drunk. We didn't talk much because of internships and I was at a moment of weakness. She fucking seduced me, (y/n), she got me fucking drunk and she led me upstairs. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

"I was so depressed, Katsuki. I couldn't believe you did that to me. Your girlfriend. Your best friend. I was with you through thick and thin; even when I believed you didn't love me, I still stayed with you. Only for you to fuck her? My friend? At first, I was like 'oh my god, it's because of Izuku' then I started wondering if it was me. I just... I can't believe you did that to me, Katsuki." You couldn't cry even if you wanted to; you've spent enough time crying over something that happened a long time ago.

"I know, (y/n), I'm fucking sorry. Please, baby, forgive me. I love you, you know I fucking love you."

You grabbed his cheek and he leaned into your touch. "I forgive you, Katsuki."

He kissed you; gently, this time. He wanted to show to you how much he loved and how willing he was to be gentle with you, even with his aggressiveness.

You, however, wanted to make up for lost times. You grabbed the back of his head and pushed his lips closer to yours.

"Come on, I'm not joking; I don't want to just fuck and it not mean something. I want to... I want to fucking make love, okay?"

Make love? What did it mean to make love?

"We could try."

"Fucking really?"

"Y-yeah."

He kissed you, softly; and you, well you grabbed onto his dick. He gasped into your mouth. You slowly pumped him, causing him to groan and, just like your hand, slowly lose control.

He grabbed your hand and pulled it away from his dick. "Fuck off; if you get to tease me, you'll get your just desserts."

Now, in yours and his little make out session, mentioned earlier was the ripping of clothes off each other's bodies. Well, not everything was ripped off. What was left on your body was your bra and underwear.

Katsuki unclasped your bra and hooked one finger in the hem of your panties while you shook off the top undergarment.

When he pulled the underwear off your legs, he could see that you were already starting to get moist.

"Can you stop staring and fuck me already?"

He rubbed your folds softly, already earning a moan from you. He snickered and prodded your entrance with the tip of his finger.

"I thought you said we were making love."

He thought for a moment, trying to decide.

"Yeah, you're right. Wanna go to your bed?"

"Sure."

A few seconds later and you two were laying on your bed, facing each other.

He positioned himself in line to your entrance and looked at you, smiling a smile you thought you'd never see again.

"Are you fucking ready?" Tone not in line with his words.

"Yeah," you said breathlessly.

He entered you gently and groaned out your name. You gasped at the sudden penetration, even if you were preparing yourself. You gripped onto him and he held onto you.

This feeling was foreign to both you and Katsuki; neither recognizing the love that you were sharing, the bond that you were holding.

All you can do is wait until the both of you reach your peak at a slow and loving pace, both of you were metaphorically raised, higher and higher.

You were making love. You were being one. You were moving your bodies in sync with one another until you couldn't distinguish the individual movements you were both making.

You two were more than what you could be individually. You two were the embodiment of love; and although you were betrayed, and although he was guilty, you both knew that without each other, both of you were nothing.

Now you can split the moon with him, and he with you.

Ahem. Yeah. Well, that should be the ending for this miniseries. You guys want anything more? You can request them if you want some. Wink wink.