#writeaboutit

[writeaboutit]

You Won't Ever Get Over It, and That's Okay

Ellie is grieving and her girlfriend, Violet, comforts her.

(I wrote this a while ago for Ao3 but I thought I would post it here too! My Ao3 is writeaboutit is you want to check it out <3)

word count: 1.9k

The opening of the bedroom door caused a humid breeze to flow into the room from the open window, rousing Violet from sleep. The thin sheet was bunched down at the end of the bed and she was lying on her stomach, arms propped under her head and pillow.

The summer heat was brutal this year. Seven days had reached over a hundred degrees this month and they were only fifteen days into August. It made patrol awful. Everyone was vying for the night shifts now.

She could not wait for autumn when sleeping with the widow open would actually do something to regulate the temperature in the house not just circulate the stagnate, muggy air.

Heavy footfalls sounded across the room before coming to a stop on the other side of the bed; Ellie’s side. Though awake, Violet hadn’t made any move to make Ellie aware of that fact yet. The sound of objects being set on the rickety bedside table that Violet has painted flowers on the drawer echoed throughout the room; probably her gun and walkman.

The mattress dipped behind Violet before she heard her sigh. A sound she knew all too well and dreaded every time the woman she loved made it. That particular sigh is not the one she makes after a long day of work patrolling the gates.

No, this sound is reserved for when she’s grieving. Violet turns over to face Ellie knowing that she needs another person’s presence in this moment. She’s met with Ellie’s back, hunched over, elbows resting on her knees. She runs her fingers through her hair, the limbs only gliding through her bangs before getting stuck in the bit that is pulled back into a half-up half-down style. There’s that sigh again.

Violet worms her way closer to Ellie’s figure. She runs her fingers up her back alerting her girlfriend to the fact that she’s awake. Ellie jolts slightly and the touch, not expecting her to be awake.

She glances over her shoulder a small, sad smile on her face.

“Hey you,” Violet whispers.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep, baby.”

She tries to play it off as nothing is wrong but Violet knows her better than she knows herself, probably. There’s no hiding herself when it comes to things like this, not when they both understand the feelings of grief.

“You didn’t wake me, this godforsaken heat makes it impossible to sleep,” a small, comforting smile decorates Violet’s face.

She only gives her the same smile from earlier, before turning back to rest her arms on her legs. Violet sits up, scooting in to sit behind Ellie. Wrapping her legs around the woman, she rests her chin on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She softens the question with a light kiss the the side of Ellie’s neck.

Ellie leans her head back, looking up at the ceiling before blowing out a long breath.

“You can say no,” Violet reminds her, not wanting to pressure her girlfriend into talking about it if she’s not ready.

“No, I do. I’m just thinking…” she trails off, still looking at the ceiling. Violet rests her chin back on the woman’s shoulder, patiently waiting.

“A man,” Ellie sucks in a breath like the memory physically hurts her.

“Why don’t we lay down, hm?” Violet runs her fingers up Ellie’s back once more. Ellie nods once.

Violet moves back to her side of the bed pulling the sheet up around her waist, peeling it back for Ellie to slide underneath.

They lay on their sides facing each other, noses almost touching. Once Ellie is settled Violet leans forward a fraction bumping her nose with her girlfriends in a comforting gesture.

Ellie gives her a small smile before continuing, “A man came in today. They found him out while scavenging.”

Violet has a feeling she knows where this story is going. There are very few things that pull that particular sigh out of her girlfriend and Joel is one of them.

“He was alone, all beaten up, covered in dirt.” She pauses like she is picturing said man, “I was out on patrol, they asked me to bring him to get cleaned up and then to Donna so she could ask him some questions.” Her eyes squeeze shut.

Violet traces the lines of Ellie’s forearm tattoo, knowing that there’s nothing that needs to be said at this moment; she’ll continue when she’s ready but Violet couldn’t help but give her the little encouragement at the sight of her pain.

“I walked him to the bathrooms so he could shower. On the way, he talked a little bit, nothing much but he mentioned his daughter,” She gasps before the first tear falls onto the pillow under her head.

“I don’t know what happened but the pain in his eyes when he mentioned her reminded me so much of him,” she sobs, “and his hair was black wi-” gasp, “with streaks of gray. It just reminded me so much of him.” The last bit of the sentence is garbled.

“Oh baby,” Violet rushes to wipe her tears, hugging Ellie’s head to her chest. Joel. She’s talking about Joel. This happens now and again. It’s not often that Ellie cries over Joel. Violet knows her girlfriend feels the grief of losing him every day, but it’s not often that she lets it out like this.

“It’s stupid, I know. That guy is just a random man, it doesn’t matter, but for some reason it just hit me.” The sound of her voice is muffled into Violet’s chest.

“It’s not stupid baby. In fact, it’s completely normal. Every time I see Tessa and that blond hair of hers my heart seizes. It’s only for a brief second but not a day goes by where her hair doesn’t remind me of Jessy’s.” Violet assures her. Years ago, before Ellie and Violet had even met, Violet and her sister Jessy were out on their own. Violet got lucky, found a safe place to live, a woman to love. Jessy was not as lucky.

Not a day goes by when Violet does not grieve her sister so she can understand the pain Ellie’s in, it’s one of the reasons they were so drawn to each other, their shared grief.

“I know it’s not stupid it’s just-” she pauses, bringing her head back to the pillow, “I just want the constant pain to end. He died years ago. When will it end?”

“Never.” Violet bluntly told her, “You loved him. He was important to you. You’ll never forget him and so that grief will never leave, not fully.” She gave a sad smile.

“Such a pep-talker,” Ellie joked, giving a wet chuckle.

“I’m trying here,” Violet playfully slapped Ellie’s shoulder.

She reached for Ellie’s face wiping away a few lingering tear streaks, “I’m serious though. It will never go away, but that’s not a bad thing. It means that he’s still with you, in here.” Violet rubs a finger on Ellie’s chest right over her heart, “Just like Jessy’s still in here.” She brings Ellie’s finger to her own chest rubbing the same spot.

After a few moments spent in silence the women lock eyes, “Maybe you’re not so bad at the whole pep-talk thing,” she chuckles, Violet matching her with a giggle.

“I have something for you,” Violet surprises Ellie by saying.

“Oh and what could that be?” She suggestively questions with the raise of her eyebrows.

“Get your mind out of the gutter baby, it’s an actual present.” Violet laughs, getting up from the bed and heading towards the closet. She slides the door open, squatting before a pile of clothes on the ground.

Ellie sits up, trying to get a better look at what she’s doing riffling through their dirty clothes. Violet springs up spinning on her toes, hiding something behind her back. She walks over to the bed crawling up the mattress before settling on her knees in front of Ellie.

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands,”

Ellie raises an eyebrow at the request.

“Please?” Violet gives her the doe eyes that she knows Ellie can never say no to. She complies, slowly shutting her eyes, and running her hands up her girlfriend’s hips before holding them in the air before her.

Violet gives a soft moan and the light caress causing Ellie to give a cocky smirk. She settles the present in her outstretched hands settling back onto her heels, anxiously waiting for the woman’s reaction.

Ellie opens her eyes staring down at the cardboard square in her hands. Her eyes widen in realization over what this gift is. It’s a vinyl of the 2013 album Lightning Bolt by Pearl Jam. Silence lingers in the room, Ellie in shock at what she’s holding, Violet anxious, and the woman’s silence.

“Maybe it’s stupid but I thought since you have the tape version you might like the vinyl for the house.” She wrings her fingers together.

All Ellie says in response is, “Where did you get this?” at a loss for any other response.

“Nalla was out on a run a few days ago when she found it. I traded her some paint for it. Apparently, she has taken up the hobby of water coloring.”

“You didn’t have to do that baby,” she says so softly, still looking at the album.

“I wanted to.” She simply responds.

Ellie finally looks up, her eyes watery, “Thank you.”

“Of course baby.” Ellie pulls Violet into her lap, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

“I love you,” Ellie says between another kiss, this one a little firmer, as if to cement the statement.

“I love you too,” Violet says against her lips, before deepening the kiss.

Their lips lock together like pieces of a puzzle. As if they were made for each other. Sometimes Violet thinks they must have been; it’s the only reasonable explanation for the connection they share.

Ellie bands her arms around Violet’s waist, drawing her impossibly closer. The movement grinding them together causing both to let out synchronized sighs.

Ellie runs her tongue along the seam of her girlfriend’s lips begging for entrance. Violet immediately grants it to her moaning at the taste of the woman.

They tumble back into the pillows, Ellie on her back, Violet settling on top of her hips, their lips never disconnecting. Ellie runs her hands up the back of Violet’s thighs.

Violet gasps out a moan, pulling back to sit up. Ellie continues her exploration of the woman’s body with her hands. She leans up to trail her lips down the side of Violet’s neck, “Please,” she sobs when Ellie’s hands reach the hem of her loose, black tank top.

At the whine in her voice, Ellie seems to turn feral, whipping the shirt off and over her head. The feral-ness however is paused when she sees what is under her girlfriend’s shirt. A red, lacy bra with little gems lining the sheer cups.

She blows out a breath at the sight, falling back onto the pillows. Running her hands up the top of her woman’s thighs she takes in the view. Violet, straddling her in her sleep shorts and a red lace bra, smirking down at her.

“Jesus,” she mutters, at a loss for words. She can’t believe this woman is hers.

“Oh yeah,” Violet plays innocent, “Nalla also found this while scavenging.”

“You give Nalla all the paint she wants,” Ellie jokes looking up into Violet’s eyes.

Violet giggles, leaning down to frame Ellie’s face with her hands, “God I love you.” She says against her lips.

Ellie grips her hips flipping them so Violet is now on her back, long brown locks fanned out on the pillows.

She leans down, looking deeply into Violet’s blue eyes, “I love you too.” She punctuates the statement with a searing kiss.

(How did we like it? I don't know it was bouncing around in my brain for a while so I just decided fuck it why not, and wrote it. I also have written a few more scenes with Ellie and Violet but idk when I'll post them. Thanks for reading<3)

[dhr-ao3]

Whenever You're Ready

Whenever You're Ready https://ift.tt/rlGWOuJ by writeaboutit A sickly sweet Dramione oneshot (possibly?) about the relationship they are hiding from their friends. Words: 1833, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Pansy Parkinson, Luna Lovegood, Blaise Zabini, Ginny Weasley, Theodore Nott Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Luna Lovegood/Pansy Parkinson Additional Tags: Fluff, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, so sickly sweet im gonna throw up, Cute, no one knows about the dramione secret relationship, Oneshot, Oneshot?, Love Confessions, Confessions, Love, No Angst via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/XQf4uze December 04, 2023 at 11:02AM

[nodowdymall]

It's always so much fun to unplug from screens and have some good old fashioned family bonding time.

www.nodowdymall.com

#familyfun #boardgames #unplugged #gametime #risk #madden23 #monopolygame #singalong #writeaboutit

[sojc123]

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Hey, writers, what words have you formed today? What phrases and sentences from the said words can be deemed important, inspirational and impactful? #writers #writing #writerscommunity #poetry #haiku #storyteller #playwright #journalist #novelist #shortstorywriter #writewithyourlife #gif #GIF #writelikeamotherfucker #write #lovetowrite #writerssociety #giphy #writeaboutit #diary #journals #writersnetwork #writelikecrazy (at Huntsville, Alabama) https://www.instagram.com/p/CEFP4fZFNdB/?igshid=1encc61mericf

[angelauniversalsky]

Today is coming out day. No one should have to hide. Sadly, some feel they do because of hate, intolerance, or the fear of rejection from family and friends. I hope more and more people can free themselves from the intolerance of others and be true to themselves. ♥✌🌈-AKC #writerscommunity #writersmatter #dreamersanddoers #equalitycantwait #empath #writersvisionsmatter #hopeindarkness #wearereal #weareinthistogether #genderequality #diversityandinclusion #bebravebeyou #Writeon #Writeaboutit #createinclusion #bethechangeyouwanttosee #creativewriting #loveisforeveryone💙💚💛❤️💜 #riseabove #irise #Unlimitedpwerinunity #writeforfreedom #selfexpression #createhope #unconditionallove #freetobeme #rebelwriters #rebelheart https://www.instagram.com/p/CGOZ_LZjZtw/?igshid=sq5113bgelqk

[thegirlwiththewarriortattoo]

Hard times

Hard times

Hard times come and go for me

Sometimes it’s once a week

Other times it’s everyday

Lately these hard times are haunting me.

I am not allowed to feel happiness because they birth my insecurities. I feel out of control of my emotional self. I am unsure why and I react defensively. I am losing myself.

Hard times have come for me

Sometimes it’s once a week

Other times it’s everyday

I fear that I will lose the people I love

I fear I will lose him

I am so terrified

I can no longer see myself

Hard times have taken me

Now it’s every week

I cry with no control

I laugh without reason

I smile at ugliness

I am taken by evil

Hard times are killing me

Today

[outlettribe-blog]

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[thecuriousunfamiliar]

It’s Such a Cathartic Thing...To Write Something & Share It With The World

Resplendent wonder festered in existentialism. How it is our infinite foe. I didn’t mean to ask about my origin but tell me how I’m a sinner for it. Would you believe it or not? That such distaste could crush hope on the spot?  And I suppose to most it would seem like a plasticine dream. But to me it just feels like all my “would have beens” have become “could have beens” and it’s all just kind of started to rot. You are. I am. Drenched to the ridges in dread. So why not spend most of our lives dreaming in bed? Who cares. Who cares. Who cares. You do. We all exist a little, right? Esoteric. Stretched thin and isolated. Numerical. Some what hysterical. To go back to the past. Forward on a track that the world is black and could anything ever possibly be worse than that?  Perhaps insisting that the earth is flat. Closed minded. No room for all that’s abstract. You only get rights if you can tread lightly through the necessary wrongs. So, yeah kid…this life is the longest of longs. I don’t need to be a crucifix of the world if my world stretches far beyond the earth. Only clouds can be my children and they will one day rule the rain. No drop is forgotten or dried up in vain. You don’t deserve to drench yourself in pain.  So come now and let’s begin again.  Begin as what we thought we’d be before an ego set free convinced us otherwise. Begin as what we were before we knew we had a brain. let us be… Something robust yet full of virtues. Something dynamic yet intrinsic . Wistful, prolific, and profound.  Not just little listless darlings. And beyond anything, let’s swear to never be a thing that gets chained to the ground.

[momentsaregolden-blog]

November 9th 2018

I think we’re all a little lost sometimes, I don’t know if that thought helps me get through the day, because I believe that maybe we’re all a little messed up or that some of us are becoming a little less optimistic. Don’t get me wrong I don’t intend to get any advantage from this, but some empathy with the ones around me. 

The thing is that when I wake up, sometimes i have this feeling that everything’s going to be okay, that I can actually have a good day. 

So i do my bed and wash my face, but then as soon as I leave my apartment I get this feeling of loneliness, sadness and emptiness, I don’t feel like my room is a place where i feel complete or anything but just leaving and having to experience a new day frightens me a little. I know one of the main reasons is because a new day means: “new beginning, new chances” and honestly it scares me, because there’s an infinite number of possibilities: you can either make great choices, help others, do great things for yourself or you can procrastinate and do nothing to improve yourself. Some days i feel trapped in the same situation : me wanting to become a better person but I stay home and watch Netflix. 

I know that in order to become the person I want to be I have to get out of my comfort zone and i need to make choices, I also know that some of them will be the right ones and that others won’t, but either way I will learn from them and I will grow through those experiences, and that growth will lead me to a better place, “better” because I firmly believe that  wherever that place is a more confident, happy, strong me is going to be.

So going back to my first statement I think we’re all a little lost sometimes but I think that we can find ourselves, I haven’t figured out how to find myself yet, but i need to and even when I feel like I won’t be able to, I have to, so I will. 

Purpose of the day: enjoy the little details (for example today is a cold rainy day, so i will breathe and listen to the rain, smile while drinking a good coffee and hug my mom.)

-CGP

[arianna-or-macky]

Writing topic idea: how is water a part of your life? #ariannaormacky #keepcreating #writeaboutit #writingprompts #writingideas #waterflow #watercolorstudy #watercolorartwork #waterseries #flowingwater #prompt #prompts #impressionistart #originalwatercolors #keepwriting #writemore (at Connecticut) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMdV9oNH6Mt/?igshid=1gfwpo8ywyajw

[firesideepic-blog]

Check out this kitchen from a house for sale nearby. There's a place to hold phone books. Does anybody even use phone books anymore? #oldschool #phonebook #throwback #oldendays #vintagehouse #writeaboutit #oldhouse

[lady-blackheart]

I still don’t have the #selfie skills to do a full body selfie. This is as close as it gets. I was doing good to focus at all today.And by focus I don’t mean the lens. I did want to throw a shout out to my fellow #Jedi @obi_beard73 #keeptrying #hangingbyatgread #allthongs pass #blackheartsway #writeaboutit #witchywoman

[thegirlwiththewarriortattoo]

Sick. Love.

Sadness fills me it’s like a black hole that increases in size. I’ve tried to stop it, I’ve tried to believe but the sadness takes me every time. I cannot see the good in myself, i cannot see why I need to stay. Why I must be here. People have called it the devil, people have called it insanity, but I call it hell.

I wander if I have ever been happy. I try to remember a time in my life when happiness reigned in my heart. Most of my happiness were in small moments. Moments of laughter with a trusting grandmother and a comedic aunt. My favorite moments of childhood laughter with my sister over a language we made up; or a game where we beat our little brother because we were always out to be a team vs the boys. Or meeting my mother for the first time and also a brother I only dreamed I had. Brief moments of happiness very very brief and they all end.

I am here undecided as to why I am here. Why I want to be here and why or who would ever love me. I have people around me who say they do. I think they do but I’m unsure. My counselor says it’s because I was traumatized with negative emotional abuse as a child. Idk if I was or care if I was. I was yelled at and things were said to me that probably should not have been said to a child but I was fed, clothed and sheltered. I’m insecure. The counselor is a liar. I always have been, insecure.

I do remember being very lonely. I didn’t fit in with most children because I was a habitual liar. I lied about everything. I lied about my parents, my siblings, my clothes, my name; fuck name it I lied about it. It was a constant wickedness of need for attention because I yearned for it. I literally yearned for love. I believe this carried on into my adulthood. I have yearned for love so badly that I have accepted it in all shapes, forms and monsters. I do not know why and I will never understand why I feel this way; because I have felt love in forms and in small moments of my life I have felt love from a friend, family member or even stranger; I know it exists...I just can’t feel it.

I am sick. Of. Love.

[outlettribe-blog]

"The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." ✨Sylvia Plath • • • O U T L E T is devoted to the creative experience. Through workshops and events, we offer unique opportunities for creative expression and storytelling. • 🔌 SAT 9.7: connect. drink. write. repeat. >> A guided memoir writing & wine tasting workshop to get your creative juices flowing. Link in Bio. • #outletquotes #sylviaplath #creativity #thejourneyisthejuice #unplug #plugin#reconnect #truth #selfexploration #memoir #storytelling #tellyourstory #thejourneyisthedestination #writeaboutit #connectdrinkwrite #connectedcreativity #outletla https://www.instagram.com/p/B2CZBgSglqz/?igshid=47coiq87kjjd

[intuitive-essence]

Devotion sings to me in these flowers strung together in harmony, in meditation. ((Not pictured is the intricate webs they are then weaved into, decorating, honoring.)) 🌹 I wonder what are we living for, often. For whom/what are we devout? What is my real intention. Checking myself. 🌸 Does it matter how this other person sees me if i don’t really see me? So I clear, cleanse, see into what is really my almost authentic share. 🌺 What do our senses tell us about the world and how do we react. I am excited about colors, tuned into these garlands of living perfume, touched by the complexity in the simplicity. 🌷 ~I find compassion in the perspective shift of how others sense the world. In honoring the way we are individually sewn together to experience what it’s like to be a created creator creating.~ 🌼 #audworldtour #iesensorytour #writeaboutit #divineeyes #partofthebiggerpicture (at Sri Sri Radha Rasabihari Temple, ISKCON Juhu, Mumbai (Official)) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt-Sw3FACy-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gopr3eo5iq8c

[sojc123]

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If you are a writer of any kind, do it not only for your need but because it is needed overall. #write #writers #writer #writerscommunity #novelist #poet #playwright #shortstories #haiku #writewithyourlife #gif #giphy #scribe #journalist #prose #writinginspiration #inspiration #writeforlife #reporter #writerscommunity #writs #writeaboutit #writersnetwork https://www.instagram.com/p/CBiPG1zHqkx/?igshid=1sxz0w6lgfguq