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[ofoceansandtombsanew]

please go gentle into that good night (childe x reader)

tags: primordial!reader (she/her), reader is death personified, is annoyance to lovers applicable here??

The 11th Harbinger has seen death, there is no question about it among the agents of the Fatui. Scarred from battle after battle, always thirsty for more, death is a familiar friend of the Harbinger.

He’s delivered death to many in his endless pursuit of strength.

Has been on death’s door more times than anyone could hope to count.

“Oh, I’ve seen death and I don’t mean metaphorically,” Childe has laughed, sitting with his men drinking firewater around a fire indulging pleasantly in the friendly chatter. That’s all that is needed for the discussion to divulge into enthusiastic regales of his conquests, mostly regaled by his enthusiastic men while the newest recruits listen in awe. Yet no one will notice how their Harbinger falls silent, peering into his reflection with a light grin.

Ajax has seen death.

Felt her cold fingers caress his face, thumbing away the blood that dripped down his cheeks. Saw her eyebrows knit in concern and frustration in equal measure. Took in her cloak, black as the void. Could feel the fatigue in the heavy bags under her eyes.

Death is a woman and she is undoubtedly the most beautiful woman Ajax has ever seen.

They first met when he was simply a recruit, a far cry from the Harbinger he is in the present somewhere off the border of Fontaine and Liyue. The mission was a success, though the casualties were great in number. 

There you formed from out of water, void-black cloak and all, taking in the sight of the bloodbath. Then your eyes rested on him, expression unreadable.

He knew who you were immediately.

“Humans,” you scowled, tone bereft of resentment as you kneeled to touch his face and he shuddered from the chill. Death looked at him and he looked back, all while feeling the gentle reverence in your touch with a voice like the night, soft yet coarse. Comfort enveloped in an instinctual fear.

An unending juxtaposition.

Ajax now knows you enough to know how you likely felt that day, staring at a bloody Fatuus crumpled against a large rock. They were your foolish but beautiful, endlessly aging humans.

“If you keep this up,” you told him, staring into his blue eyes unshakingly. “You’ll end up being one of my passengers.”

“You’re beautiful,” Ajax saw you balk in confusion, his reply unexpected.

“Fool,” you all but hissed as you stood and Ajax found it adorable. It’s another accomplish that he, Tartaglia, holds alone. He flustered Death itself. “Cherish your life, Fatuus,” you told him, summoning your oar to your side. “Cherish it so it is a long time before we see each other again.”

“My name is Ajax,” he laughed and he coughed painfully. “And I hope the next time we see each other again, it isn’t much longer!”

Your head shaking in exasperation was your only response as you took to the corpses, gathering the souls of the lost. Some left with ease, others sobbed in despair and others resisted you in their entirety. Yet all were eventually sat on boat you fashioned out of water, resting atop of the river that you would ride to take them home.

With a sparing glance to the living, to Ajax, you drifted away thinking this to be the last time you would encounter Ajax of the Fatui.

Much to his pleasure and your chagrin, it was not.

“You have a death wish,” Arlecchino told him once, chock full of contempt and vinegar.

“You’re not wrong about that one, comrade,” the 11th Harbinger grinned with a barking laugh. “It’s just that with all my wishing, she can’t seem to stand me.”

You had met each other countlessly, taking in that foolish Fatuus’ battle scars. Each time he learned something new about you and in turn he happily gushed about himself. He had many tells to share of his homeland, his family and the Tsaritsa he follows and you always listened.

“Keep this up and I’ll kill you myself,” you told him one particular encounter after a stint in his Foul Legacy form.

“Wouldn’t that be cheating?” Ajax grinned, ignoring how you flicked his forehead in annoyance.

You glared at the redhead sharply, “who would there be to tell?”

Ajax’s grin only grew wider, “I knew you wanted me, Death, but I didn’t know you wanted me that much.”

If looks could kill, Ajax is sure in that moment he would have been killed ten times over. “Can you not ask your god for jobs that won’t leave you at my door? Can you at least attempt to refrain yourself from violence?”

“But then how would I see you again?”

“When it’s finally your time to-”

“That could take forever,” Ajax whined and you groaned in disbelief. “How about this. Tell me your name and I promise to at least give it half a year before you have to see me again.”

You fixed him with a look, “you already know my name.”

With a shake of his head, Ajax clarified, “I don’t mean what everyone else calls you.” Death is what you are, not your name. “No one calls the Tsaritsa ‘Cryo’ or the Lord of Geo ‘Geo’. You have some sort of personal name, don’t you?” When you say nothing immediately, his expression morphs into a sad curiosity. “Is that really all anyone ever calls you?”

You hesitated only a moment longer before you finally answeredー “The ones affiliated with Celestia call me Pursan,” Ajax leaned forward in anticipation, blue staring into [color]. “But you may call me [First].”

[First].

[First].

“[First],” he relished the sound of your name. What would he give to hear you say his name? He would promise you kingdoms, entire nations at your feet. Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long for it, no promises of conquered nations required.

“Keep your promise to me, Ajax,” his name dripped from your lips like honey and he wished you would say it again. “If you’re determined to continue this fool’s errand, I don’t want to see you any sooner than what you’ve promised.”

All of this leads to now, Ajax nursing a moderately sized cut on his stomach whilst sitting along the banks of Yashiori Island nine months later. Despite the hard-to-use cutlery, Ajax is fond of Inazuma. The duels permitted by the land is one he favors, it isn’t something he expected from the Nation of Eternity.

It is a perk that a duel a foolhardy coward challenged him to would lead to something that would surely catch your attention. He can hear you scolding him already, nursing him back to health all the while.

“You’re there aren’t you?” He asks the waves lapping the shore, welcoming the cool evening breeze brushing against his skin. You’re Death, you’re never too far. You’re everywhere at any place at any time. It’s part of your charm.

When he sees the waves falter, he knows he is correct as streams of water raise to create your form. The ferrywoman donned in black, Death in the flesh. Even with your tired reproachful look, Ajax can’t bring himself to regret his actions.

He’ll gladly do them time and time again even for a hint of you.

"Don’t you get tired of this, Ajax?” There’s nothing to be tired of, not when it allows him the thrill of battle. When it allows him to further his strength. Your arrival only sweetens the persistent battle he chases.

“Of seeing you?” Ajax drawls, pleased to take you in before you left him once more. “Never.”

You’re scowling, just like when you first met him, and yet all the same, your touch is gentle as you brush your fingertips against his cheek. Despite the chill that touches him to the bone, he leans into your touch and places a hand against yours. “You’re a fool,” you tell him and he smiles lazily in return. “Chase someone in the land of the living. There are plenty that would be taken with you.”

Ajax ignores that request promptly, “are you here to take me?”

“I am not,” you reply without missing a beat.

“But one day you will,” he sighs, almost dreamily. In any other context, he is sure the sentiment is frighteningly morbid. “There’s some bandages in my supply bag,” he motions to his supply bag nonchalantly and you part away from him. “Of course, it would be a win-win situation to the both of us if you would visit me more often. No wounds required,” he isn’t disheartened by your lack of response. “The cuisine of Inazuma is quite nice. But if you’re not one for Inazuman food, I know quite a few places in Liyue Harbor.”

Supplies in hand, you kneel in front of him. “Remove your shirt please.”

He considers joking that you should at least take him to dinner first, but instead he removes his shirt quietly. The cold of your hands feel reminiscent to the cold of his homeland. He wonders how much of it you’ve seen in the past. If you’ve ever truly seen it. You mentioned before you’ve never had a day off in the eons of your existence. How could one truly see the beauty of the land if they never stopped to appreciate it? 

I hope I can take you to Morepesok. Ajax burns something fierce akin to freezer burn. (Strange when what runs in your veins is the same deep blue of his Vision.) During a holiday when he’s guaranteed time to go home and visit his family. He burns for you to see it, to take any time for yourself to dance alongside the hearth alongside Tonia and to play games with Anthon and Teucer.

How alive would you be then, you who cherishes life more than anyone in the land of the living?

“I don’t think many can say they’ve had their wounds tended to by death itself,” Ajax starts and when you say nothing, he continues on unperturbed. “Isn’t keeping me alive cheating?”

You glance at him from your work of lightly dabbing his wound with your water. “Not cheating,” you answer at last. “It isn’t yet your time.”

“Do you know when it will be?”

“Yes,” you begin to ravel the bandage around him.

“Will you tell me when that is?”

“I will not,” and he sighs something along the lines of ‘I suppose I won’t be receiving any spoilers as to when you can stop avoiding me’ in Snezhnayan. You look at him and he wonders how much of his tongue you understand, if at all. He hopes to teach it to you, should you ever ask. “There,” you finish your bandaging in record time. “I can at least say I’m pleased you kept your promise to stay out of major trouble. Nine months is a record for you.”

Your smile is small, barely visible under the light of the moon and stars as silence falls over you. You’d insist that one like you is at home in the darkness, Ajax argues that one like you is a child of the sun.

“[First],” he rests a hand on your cheek, wanting to imprint every feature into his palms so that he won’t forget what they’re like. When you don’t reject him, he leans hoping to catch your lips with his own. Instead, he feels your finger tips and he opens his eyes to stare into the unknowable look yours hold.

“Live, Ajax,” you murmur like you’re telling him a treasured secret. He truly loves the way you say his name. “This fascination borders obsession. Whatever you want, you won’t find it in me. Find someone else to chase and live. Live long and live it well. Your life is precious.”

Love, obsession, it’s the same thing no?

He wonders if one can truly put an age on Death. You are one who has lived eons, definitely older than Zhongli. Probably as old as Teyvat itself. He wonders what it must be like for you, feared by many and only wanted by one. Ajax wants you deeply. Perhaps you think he lost his mind those three months in the dark realm he stumbled into as a child. 

You will never call it love no matter how much he begs to differ.

We’ll have to agree to disagree. Finally, Ajax moves back from your fingers, “Is it precious to you?”

“Your life is precious to many people,” you tell him, resting your hand in your lap. “To your mother and your father, to your siblings in Snezhnayaー”

He asks again, “but is it precious to you?”

In spite of his Hydro Vision, he burns. He burns to know your answer, burns for your acceptance. It’s a burning that can only be sated by the chill of your being pressed against his.

Death looks at himー you look at him and he looks back.

Ajax’s eyes flutter shut when you lean forward, and he feels your breath ghost his lips. Yet nothing follows and when he opens his eyes, all that remains of your presence is the damp sand where you once knelt.

You’re a cruel woman, [First], Ajax laughs humorlessly, wondering how long it would be until your paths crossed once more. He sets camp close to the beach, the rhythm of the waves lulling him to sleep and the dull ache of his wounds remind him that he’s alive.

Ajax will see you again, it’s only a matter of when.

Will it be when he’s on your door once more? Frustration in your eyes as you insist he let go of his feelings you won’t allow yourself to return?

Or will it be the end of his time roaming Teyvat, unable to continue his endeavor to become the strongest? When that time comes, will you greet him warmly or with a look of melancholy as you hold out your hand for him to board your boat?

Or perhaps the next time he sees you, you’ll accept his outstretched hand and follow him out of the dark and into the light. You’ll follow him to appreciate the seven nations, saving his homeland for last. You’ll dance with his siblings and smile widely, accepting the reprieve from your grim duties as his mother insists you eat more of her solyanka.

Nor will you run from his lips when they seek yours.

Death brought to life.

He’ll live long enough to see the day, that much he can promise.

“Пока мы не встретимся снова,” Ajax thinks before sleep takes him for the evening. Until we meet again.

[nanaslutt]

A battering ram in bed

ʚ virgin!konig x reader, 4k words

ʚ cont: fem reader, dad bod konig, oral (m!r), throat fucking, first times, edging, monster cock konig, rough sex, fingering, unprotected sex, cream pie, finger sucking, hand jobs

note: for my pookie @istyrrstars i hope u enjoy, ty for getting me out of my writers block w/ this <3

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

Konig's hands curled into the hard, cold metal of the door behind him. His eyes were wide in shock, head tipped down as he watched you palm him over his pants. "Is- is this okay?" He stuttered, his eyes anxiously darting between your eyes and your hand which looked dwarfed in comparison to his bulge. "I don't know Konig, is it okay?" You asked, tilting your head to the side as you looked up at him.

"You're twitching." You whispered, wrapping your hand around his length now that it had grown harder in his pants. Konig released a shaky moan he had been holding back out of embarrassment. He was relieved by the mask covering his face and neck, he could feel how hot his skin was burning under your attention, surely he already looked like a mess underneath the mask.

Konig unclenched and clenched his fingers against the door, fighting the urge to not cum in his pants or freak out at the situation. "Do you want me to stop, Konig?" You asked, batting your eyelashes up at him as you continued to stroke him off, gripping him harder than before. Konig's eyes rolled back in his head. The strong, rouch stimulation of his cock rubbing against the fabric of his boxers was driving him crazy, he could feel his cock leaking the longer you went on.

Konig shook his head, his eyes finding your hand again. He was seemingly in a trance as he watched your hand work on him, his brain almost short-circling when you added your other hand to the mix, one not being enough to fully stroke him how you needed to. "Don't be shy, you can touch me." You teased, finding his hands and watching them shaky and struggle against the door.

It was obvious he had never done this before and had no idea what to do with his hands. Konig was respectful, he didn't want to do something wrong or make you uncomfortable. "I don't know where to put them, my hands." He said, voice shaky and gruff. You smiled and grabbed one of his wrists with your hand, pulling it towards you, you placed it on your hip, shocked at how much of your body he could encase in just one palm.

His hand was so warm even through the glove, that he must be overheating in all that gear he was still adorned in. "The other one too." You instructed, making Konig nod in understanding as he slowly placed his other hand on your waist. He felt his cock twitch as he struggled to not leave bruises on your skin from how hard he was grabbing you. Your body felt so fragile under his hands, he was enthralled with you.

"Let's move this to my bed, hm? Might be a little more comfortable for you." You whispered, nodding at him as you spoke. "Okay…" Konig nodded in a trance, his voice hoarse as he spoke. You released his cock; which made the large man internally groan; before you grabbed his hands off your waist and leaned back, pulling him towards the bed with you.

Konig swallowed whatever saliva was left in his extremely dry mouth as he watched the person of his dreams drag him to bed to do god knows what with him. Just before your shins hit the end of the bed, you spun Konig around and pushed him towards the bed. Konig was much larger than you, so your attempted shove didn't do much, but the man took the hint, sitting down on your comforter.

Konig sat on the edge of the end of your bed, legs spread wide, giving you the perfect seat. You placed your hands on Konig's chest and pushed him to lie down as you straddled his hips, feeling his impossibly hard cock poke you through his bulky pants. Konigs hands shot up to your waist, as he decided this was a safe space to touch you. "You're so hard." You whispered, giving an experimental rut of your hips against his lap.

Konig released a high-pitched groan, his legs spreading wider as the pleasure from the pressure of your body on top of him spread through his body. "I'm surprised you can feel anything through these thick pants." You joked caressing his clothed hip with one of your hands. "I think you'd feel a lot better if we took them off." You suggested, raising your eyebrows at the man under you.

Konig felt like he was going to explode. The pressure and friction he was already getting from this was making his head spin, he couldn't imagine what it was going to feel like without the protection of his pants. "Alright." He agreed, nodding his head. You smiled when his fingers curled into the skin of your hips with more pressure before you slid off of his lap and stood in front of him between his slid legs.

Konig pushed his body up from the sheets and reached his shaky hands down to his belt, beginning to work on getting it off of him. You ran your hands teasingly up and down the expanse of his thick thighs as he pulled the belt out of the loops in his pants, throwing it to the side. Konig looked hasty, your touching on him was probably making him more antsy than you even knew.

Konig lifted his ass and pulled his pants down his large, toned thighs, kicking them off his feet, leaving them pooled on the ground. You lost your breath for a moment as you took in how large his thighs were. When he flexed them as he took his pants off, you could clearly see the defined muscle, but now that they were relaxed against the bed, they looked much softer. You wonder how the rest of his body looked.

The next thing your eyes caught was the massive bulge in his boxers. The thin fabric did very little to conceal his hard-on, his boner sticking straight up in them, revealing his shocking length. Konig noticed your staring and adjusted himself in front of you, pushing his boner down so it didn't look as prominent, although he had already been exposed. You ran your hands across his bare thighs, his warm skin heating up your cold fingertips.

You watched his cock jump at your teasing touch, as you dragged your hands up to the end of his boxers before back down to his knees again. "Please." He whined under his breath, his hands curling into the fabric of the bed. You looked up at him and cocked your head to the side, smiling. "Please, touch my dick again." He begged, his raspy voice sending shivers down your spine.

"Come here." You instructed, motioning for him to scoot closer to the end of the bed. Konig did as he was instructed, putting his ass a little over the end of the bed. "Good." You praised before you dropped to your knees, keeping your hands on his large thighs. Konig felt his heart race, although he had no experience, he had seen stuff like this picture in front of him now in porno mags the other soldiers passed around at the base, though they were always tastefully blocked by the back of the girl's head, leaving little to the imagination.

You traced your fingers along the freckles of his thigh, connecting them with one single line. Konig felt goosebumps rise on his skin from the soft, barely there touch. You leaned down and pressed a kiss to the most prominent freckle on the inside of his thigh, making him sharply inhale at the soft feeling of your lips on his skin.

You finally let your hand drag high enough up his thigh to grab his cock, wrapping your hand around it. You could feel the skin on his cock moving with your hand under the fabric as you jerked him off, the stimulation making him groan, his eyes fluttering in their sockets. "Your boxers are soaked!" You exclaimed, surprised at how much a grown man like him leaked into his boxers from just a little touching.

"I've never done this before." He answered, his accent making you press your legs together. "Really?" You responded, knowing full well he hadn't done anything like this before. "Is that why you're so sensitive?" You asked, finding his tip through his boxers and rubbing your hand around the tip. Konig's hand shot up and gripped your wrist firmly, preventing you from moving much. "T-too much." He stuttered, his thighs closing a bit.

"Sorry." You giggled, removing your hand from his cock. Konig released your wrist as soon as his cock stopped twitching frantically, he must've been close, or maybe his tip was just that sensitive. "Hey, Konig." You said, getting his full attention. The man looked down at you, finding your eyes to let you know he was listening. "You ever got a blowjob before?" You asked, sneaking your fingers into the band of his boxers.

Konig's eyes went wide in surprise, he guessed that's where this was heading but now that it was actually happening he was starting to freak out a bit. "No, I haven't." He answered, his voice sounding shaky and nervous, only adding to your own arousal. You tapped the side of his thigh and silently told him to raise his hips as you dragged his boxers down his thick thighs. His cock sprung out of his boxers and slapped heavily against his shirt, making your mouth water.

"Toda's your lucky day." You said, biting your lip as you found his eyes again. If Konig felt like he had a hot face earlier, it was nothing compared to how he felt now. "Do you want me to suck you off?" You asked pointing to your lips. Konig's dick twitched at your words, a bead of precum leaking from his tip, soaking into his shirt. "It won't hurt you?" He asked, watching with bated breath as you stood on your knees and slid your hands up his thighs again, both hands aiming for his bare cock.

A moan was stolen from Konig's throat when you wrapped both hands around his thick cock and began screwing them up and down, rotating your hands in opposite directions. It was already almost too much for the man, his leg started shaky and bouncing as he tried to comprehend how much pleasure he was feeling. "Hmmm…" You said, leaning closer to his cock.

Konig watched with bated breath as you eyed the tip of his cock, watching how another fat bead of precum welled up on the slit on his sensitive cockhead. You felt him throb in your hand as you leaned down and licked the salty liquid up, swallowing it down quickly. "You are pretty big, I'm not sure how much of it I'll be able to take." You finally answered. Konig felt his ego swell, making his blood run through his body hotter. He knew he was hung down there, always getting teased about it in the bathroom by his other soldiers, but hearing it from you felt different.

"Don't hurt yourself," Konig said, his high-pitched voice shaky and full of worry for you. You pressed a soft kiss to his fat cockhead, making him hiss, before you looked up at him. "You're so kind." You said, before averting your attention back to his cock. The size was very intimidating, but you knew anything you did would feel good for him considering how sensitive he was, so you weren't worried.

"You can touch me again Konig, put your hand on my head if you don't know what to do with it." You reiterated. You licked another fat stripe against his cockhead before you fully leaned down and took his tip into your mouth. Konig wasted no time in abiding by your words and carding his hand in your hair. You felt his finger shake and strain against your head as he undoubtedly fought to not pull your hair, although that's what you wanted him to do.

Your eyes shut and your eyebrows furrowed as you took him deeper and deeper into your mouth. Konig's high-pitched whines and groans were getting sent straight to your cunt, as you tried to press your thighs together to the best of your ability from the position you were in. "Oh god-" He groaned when you took him about halfway into your mouth before you coughed around him. He was filling your mouth up entirely, and his cock got thicker the more you went down, he was starting to stretch your mouth.

Konig's breathing consisted of steady panting and whines as you sucked him off, your hands jerking the base of his cock up and down that your mouth couldn't take in. "Good, feels good," Konig whined, his fingers finally curling into your hair, his head falling back as his eyes shut in pleasure. You would've smiled if your mouth wasn't full of cock.

You tasted him again as he dripped more and more pre cum into your mouth, only aiding in the slickness and sloppiness of the blowjob from all the spit that was dribbling out the side of your mouth. "Can you take more?" Konig whined, his voice coming out needy and gruff, he sounded so aroused. You popped your mouth off of his cock and smiled at him, stroking him off as you did. You watched Konig's eyes roll back in his head at how fast you were jerking him off, the lewd wet noises from his cock echoing inside his head.

"I can try, wanna help me?" You asked, tilting your head at him. "Yeah, yes, please." He responded, making you giggle at how eager he was. "Just need you to push down on my head okay? I'll tap your thigh if it's too much." You instructed, making Konig nod hastily. You leaned your head back down to his cock and took his thick length into your mouth.

You were able to take more of him easily this time around since your mouth and throat were becoming more adjusted to having such a thick foreign object inside it. You looked up at him from under your lashes and nodded, placing your hands on his thighs, leaving him free reign to push you down as far as he wanted. You braced yourself and did your best to suppress your gag reflex and breathe through your nose when you felt Konig start to press down on your head.

You fought him a little at first, struggling to take his cock so deep. When you got about an inch away from taking his entire cock into your throat, you gagged and gripped his thighs, making your throat contract around him. Konig whined loudly, his fingers raking against your scalp as he curled his fingers in your hair. You felt him twitch inside your throat, he must be having a field day.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" He asked, caressing your cheek with his other hand. Your cheeks were wet with tears as you struggled not to choke on his massive cock. Nonetheless, you tried to nod at him, feeling his cock jolt around in your throat at the movement. "Good." He responded, thighs shaking and threatening to close around your body in pleasure.

When you were ready, he began aiding you in bobbing your head up and down along his fat cock, his cockhead rubbing the back of your throat with each thrust. "I-I've never felt anything like this, so good, so good." He repeated, his hips shallowing jerking up against your mouth every so often.

The bottom half of your face was covered in saliva and cum, which stuck to his pelvis each time he bobbed you fully down on him. Just when you felt your jaw starting to ache, you noticed Konig's moans increase in volume and pitch, along with how fidgety he was getting. He was constantly cocking his head to the side, his thighs and arms were shaky, his eyes kept scrunching and rolling back in his head, he was close.

"It's coming, I'm going to cum-" Konig warned, his shaky hand losing grip against your head. You tapped his thigh in a warning and placed your hand on top of his, pulling up on it, letting you release his cock from between your sloppy lips. You gasped and wiped your mouth as clean as you could get it. Konigs cock looked so sloppy and wet, as it twitched needily and frequently against nothing. Konig still held your face as he waited for you to speak, he felt his balls ache with how close his orgasm had been, and you just ripped it away from him.

You wasted no time with words and rose from your place between his thighs, pushing his chest back hard with your hand, making him lay back against the comforter. Konig tipped his chin down to watch you hastily pull your pants and panties off your body in one fell swoop before you climbed on top of him, straddling his cock. "What- what are you doing?" He asked, his hands finding your hips as comfort.

"Wanna fuck me?" You asked, reaching between the two of you and finding his cock, you stroked it up and down, his cock soaked with your saliva and his cum. "L-like this?" He asked, referring to the fact that he wasn't wearing a condom. "I'm on birth control, you can't get me pregnant." You explained. "So if you wanna, you can fill me up as much as you want." You finished, making Konig release a long, strained groan.

"Okay." He said, nodding at you. "Okay, what?" You asked, tapping his cock against your pussy from underneath. Konig gasped at the feeling, his eyes finding your cunt. You were so wet, your slick dripping against his cock from just a little touching, it was driving him crazy. Konig swallowed hard, his heart beating out of his chest as he averted his eyes to the wall behind you. "I want you to put it in, I want to fuck you." He said, throbbing in your hand.

"Good boy." You praised, smiling as you rubbed his cockhead against your entrance and found your tight hole with his cock, trying to press it in. You lowered your weight on him, your mouth falling open in a small O as you tried to force his massive cock inside you with zero prep. Konig watched with furrowed eyebrows as you struggled to take him in. "Fuck, this isn't going to work." You mumble under your breath, something Konig didnt miss. "Give me your hand." You instructed, holding your hand out for him.

Konig released one of his hands from your waist and placed it in your hand. You flipped his palm to face the ceiling and pulled his hand between your legs, rubbing his fingers against your pussy. Konig's cock twitched as he felt your soft, hot, cunt, a noise of surprise leaving his lips. "Usually I'd be more thorough with having you stretch me out, but I don't wanna wait anymore." You said, pressing his fingers inside your pussy.

It wasn't fair, every part of his body was so fucking thick, even his fingers were a challenge. "Just thrust them upwards and curl them like you're trying to touch my stomach." You instructed, sitting back on his soft thighs, which flexed every so often under your ass. You thrust your hips toward him and placed your hand on his knee, leaning back a bit so he could finger you better.

Konig curled his fingers upwards experimentally and was shocked when he was met with your walls squeezing around him and your jaw falling open in a silent scream. "That- do that again." You instructed, gripping his thick wrist with your other hand, keeping his fingers deep inside you. Konig did as he was told and curled his fingers inside you with more confidence now, thrusting them upwards as well. Your chin fell down as you watched his fingers work inside you, the sight arousing you to no end.

"Fuck- fuck Konig right there, keep fingering me just like that-" You whined, bounding your hips down on his fingers to make him give it to you harder. Konig looked like he was in a trance, every time your cunt clenched around him, a strained moan left his lips. He couldn't believe what he was doing. You felt so hot inside, he was almost worried his fingers were going to melt. How was it going to feel around his cock? Was it going to be this intense?

You felt yourself nearing the edge, and quick as he fingered you faster, slamming them up into you and curling them against your sweet spot. But you had other plans, you didn't want to cum like this, just like you didn't want to waste Konig's cum down your throat instead of inside you. "O-okay, that's enough." It took Konig a moment to register your words before he pulled his fingers out from inside you. His eyes found his hand and his heart skipped a beat as he stared at the sloppy wet mess covering his fingers.

He was only jolted out of his trance when he felt you grab his cock again and began rubbing his sensitive tip against your now worked-open hole. "It's still gonna be a tight fit." You joked, making his eyebrows furrow. "If it's too much-" "I know Konig, you're so sweet, but I can take it." You interrupted, placing your hand on his chest and straddling his hips. His thighs felt so soft under your own, the hairs on his legs tickling your skin as you rested on him.

You both watched as you inserted his cock inside your cunt and slowly slid down on him, teeth grit and face twisted in pleasured pain. Konig's muscles flexed and clenched under your own, he felt his balls throb as your walls engulfed his cock. He was right, it was just as hot and intense as he thought it was going to be. "So warm, I-it's so tight." Konig whimpered, his nails digging into the skin of your hips. You slid your hands down the sides of his body and found the bottom of his shirt that covered the rest of his impressive body from you.

You found his eyes as you continued to slowly take in his cock while you pushed his shirt up his body, exposing his tummy and pecs. He was so large, the sheer size of him compared to you made your stomach do a flip. You thought his uniform bulked him up, but the truth was, the uniform only did so much, most of his size was from his own body. His stomach and pecs had a bit of pudge, but every time he flexed his stomach, you could feel the hard muscle hiding underneath it.

You both moaned in unison when you finally bottomed out on his cock. One of your hands placed itself over your tummy as you pressed down a bit over the bulge there. You could feel how deep he was inside you, how hard he felt. "D-dont touch there," Konig warned, his hand gripping your wrist. "Why not?" You asked, smiling cockily at him. "It's so tight already, can't take much more." He whined, his eyes barely open.

"Yeah? Does it feel good?" You asked running your hands along his body while you slowly rocked back and forth on him, jolting his cock inside your walls. He nodded quickly, his head rolling back and forth in pleasure against the comforter. You felt yourself throb around him, he looked so fucked out already. "Yeah? You like fucking me raw?" You teased, picking up your hips before slowly sliding back down. Maintaining your composure was proving to be quite difficult when his cock filled you up completely and pressed against your g-spot constantly.

Konig's eyes rolling back in his head made you feel like you were losing your mind with him. "Fuck me, Konig, cmon." You pleaded, slowly sliding up and down on his cock. Only seconds after you uttered those words, Konig placed his feet on the mattress and began fucking up into you, wasting no time in working up a slow pace to get you used to his cock, it was clear as day he was a virgin. You dug your nails into the fat of his pecs, which flexed under your fingers.

"F-fuuuc-kk Konigg," You whined as he bullied his cock in and out of your walls with reckless abandon. His moans were louder and higher pitched than yours, the raspiness of his sounds sending pleasure straight to your core. Konig roughly gripped your hips and slammed you fully down on his cock, your insides were sure to ache like hell after, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care as he fucked you stupid.

"Oh god-" He wined, his head falling back against the sheets, eyes falling shut as he used you like a fleshlight. You took the opportunity to slide a hand up his chest and under his mask, finding his neck. Konig jerked his head down to look at you, eyes open a bit wider in shock when he realized your hand was on his bare neck. "I-it okay, n-not gonna look at your face." You reassured before sliding your hand higher up his neck and finding his face.

You weren't surprised in the slightest to feel his open mouth panting hot breath against your hand. You pressed two fingers between his lips and smiled when he immediately wrapped his fingers around them, his tongue swirling around them sloppily, like he wasn't sure what to do. You felt your orgasm rapidly approach feeling him suck on your fingers like no tomorrow as he sloppily fucked his hips up into you with no rhythm.

You were almost disoriented when he quickly wrapped an arm around your torso and flipped you over in one motion, keeping your fingers in his mouth. His lips opened around them every so often as he moaned shamelessly, drilling into you from above now. You winced in pleasure from the new angle, and how he was somehow fucking you deeper now. "Konig- K-konig-" You were quickly overwhelmed as he crushed you with his massive frame, his strong arms wrapping around your body, his soft tummy pressing into yours, all while he fucked you like the needy virgin he was while sucking on your fingers.

"It-it's coming again, please don't stop this time," Konig begged around your fingers, feeling his balls pulse with the need to cum. His hard pelvis was rubbing against your clit so perfectly, you were right there with him. You would properly teach him about the wonderfulness of the clit another day because right now this was doing it for you. "I won't stop- I'm gonna c-cum too." You whispered back. You quickly pulled your fingers from his hot mouth and wrapped your arms around his neck as he buried his face in yours.

The squelching from between your legs was driving him crazy. You were so wet around his dick, he'd never felt anything like this from his fist and lube before, he was addicted already. "I can cum inside?" He whined against your neck, double-checking he was alright to cum only seconds before he let go. You squeezed your arms tighter around his neck, keeping his soft body tightly against your own as he fucked you hard.

"Yeah, yeah you- you can cum inside- fuck-" You whined, your eyes squeezed shut as you focused on your own orgasm coiling up inside you. "Ngggh- Konig- Konig I'm cumming-" That was all the larger man needed to finish right there with you. He felt like a nail inside his head had just been struck inside the coffin, the final push he needed.

Konig whimpered and gasped into the crook of your neck as he fucked his hips against your own, releasing hot, thick streaks of his cum deep inside your pussy, making sure his dick thrust it all inside you. Your walls spasmed around him as you came, clenching and unclenching, making him grit his teeth at the amazing feeling he was going to burn into his memory so he never forgot what it felt like.

Your legs shook around his body as you came down from your orgasm, your head still in the clouds as your pussy weakly pulsed around him. Konig kept himself balls deep inside of you until his cock finished pulsing and his balls were thoroughly empty. "H-hah… It's so warm." He whined into the crook of your neck, making you laugh against him. His soft body crushing yours felt more comforting than it did overwhelming, especially coming down from such an intense orgasm.

"I- I don't wanna move yet." Konig pleaded, squeezing you tighter when you barely moved against him. You placed your hand on the back of his head and caressed him, wincing a bit when you felt his cum squeeze out of your pussy and leak down your ass. "We don't have to get up yet." You said, comforting him. Konig was still breathing heavily and whining every so often, overwhelmed with everything he was feeling.

"You did so good Konig, made me feel so good." You praised. You felt him nuzzle his head deeper into the crook of your neck at your words, undoubtedly in embarrassment. "You made me feel good too. I don't want to stop doing this with you." Konig admitted, voice a bit muffled and weak due to his abashed nature and lack of energy. You felt your heart swell at his post-nut confession.

"Who said I'm gonna let you go so easily? You're stuck with me now." You replied, smiling to yourself when you heard him whine into the crook of your neck. Who knew such a big scary man could be so cute?

[nanowrimo]

4 Tips for Autistic Writers

Autistic writers can face unique challenges when it comes to writing. NaNo Participant Auden Halligan has tips to handle some of those challenges!

So, you’ve just sat down at your desk, all ready to work on your next chapter, but you just can’t seem to start. Something is itching at your brain, and no matter how hard you think, you can’t figure it out. For autistic writers, that itch might be even harder to get around when compounded with autistic inertia, introspection issues, and sensory processing disorder — even if we were super excited to get started, sometimes the stumbling blocks are enough to keep us from going anywhere at all.

Here are four tips to identify your struggles and work around them rather than against them as an autistic writer!

1. Schedule your writing time appropriately

While keeping a schedule can help you stave off unwanted change in your routine, the need to switch to another task when the clock strikes the hour sometimes feels like a monumental task, one that eventually becomes detrimental to your creative pursuits.

If switching tasks is the biggest hurdle to your writing, setting a designated writing time with no other plans around it could do the trick. Oftentimes, just one hour of time to transition from doing dishes to sitting down at your computer to write is exactly what you need to get past that point and find your writing headspace.

2. Make sure your sensory environment is right

Sometimes getting into that writing headspace is harder than normal, but you can’t put your finger on a reason. Chances are, you’re not quite ready until you have your sensory needs met and you can fully focus on your story.

Personally, I like to be on the couch with my water bottle, a playlist at just the right volume, and a comfortable jacket or hoodie on. For you, the ideal sensory space might involve a desk and a snack, a pet nearby, and a quiet room. For others, it could be outside or even at a library or coffee shop. Autistic people are all different and so are their sensory needs, so this one is super subjective — do what works best for you!

3. Take breaks often

Writing can be exhausting, and if you’re struggling to keep going, you might need to take a pause. If you’re like me and struggle with remembering to hydrate and eat once you’re deep in a task, use your break to get some water and a snack. If you’re having trouble staying focused, get up and move around and stim or go outside to give your brain a reset. If you feel like you’ve gotten some good progress done, however small, reward yourself — do something related to your special interest, dance with a pet, and celebrate your little (or big!) win!

The pomodoro method is a good way to keep yourself from working too long without a break, and if that doesn’t work for you, methods like the Eisenhower method with breaks interspersed and even simply inserting breaks into your scheduled writing time are just as valid.

4. Don’t be afraid to skip around

Another thing that often trips us autistic people up is needing to follow the story down its natural progression, from start to middle all the way to the finish. But inevitably, once we’ve gotten past the initial excitement of having the project started, we hit a stumbling block…and the project gets abandoned. I’ve left behind countless projects because I lost interest after hitting a scene I wasn’t excited for after just a few chapters.

To combat this, try writing out of order! Skip ahead to the scene directly after your stumbling block. You could also skip to the next scene your favorite character is in or even to the climax if it helps you move forward. If you’re having trouble putting your first words down, try writing a random scene in the middle of your story to get into the groove of writing your characters.

Alternately, if you can’t abide by the out of order method and really need to get your characters from Point A to Point B, try putting the scene you’re stuck on in brackets. For example:

[Character 1 and Character 2 fight over the decision to kick Character 3 off the team. 2 leaves in anger.]

It’s simple, efficient, and gets you out of that particular rut so you can keep moving toward that sweet, sweet conversation you’ve wanted to write since Day 1.

Now go forth and write, my friends!

Auden Halligan is a creator through and through. She’s been writing her entire life, but didn’t start participating in NaNoWriMo until 2017–right now she’s working on developing a TV series (or two!) and has several novels and short films in the drafting phase. Auden is currently a college student studying film production and hoping to minor in disability studies. You can find her on her very sparse Twitter at ink.and.spite. Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels

If you’re an autistic writer, check out the Pillow Fort in the NaNoWriMo forums! It’s a group for people who are neurodivergent, have disabilities, mental health concerns, or physical challenges that affect their lives.

[grotesquedarling]

All Yours.

Toby Rodgers x Werewolf!Fem!Reader

Summary: You are assumed dead, after going on a walk and not coming back. Toby finds evidence of the 'death' and thinks the worst. You return hours later, your ability to heal not working well. Toby helps you clean up, which leads to much more.

A/N: This is a one-shot for a story I am writing for Toby, where reader is a werewolf. If anything is confusing in this one-shot, God I pray not, it is connected to my story and things will fall in place as I post it! Divider made by cafekitsune! Please go easy on me, this my first time writing smut, or anything really, in about 2 years, due to writer's block, so things may be clunky.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI!, P in V, descriptions of violence and murder, no protection. (If I have forgotten one, please let me know!)

Word count: 3k

“Wh- What now?” Toby yelled. “Sh-she is d-dead!” He was getting worked up, stuttering more than usual.

Tim and Brian couldn’t do anything, nothing that would be helpful anyway, so they listened. They listened for so long they were to the point of ‘listening’. Which consisted of sitting in the room and dissociating while looking interested.

Toby was getting louder, pacing faster, unsure of how to handle the situation. “Are y-you even li-listening to m-me? SHE’S GONE!”

Before Tim or Brian could say anything, there was a loud bang on the cabin’s front door. As soon as all their eyes shot in the direction of the sound, the doorknob was ripped from the door, leaving a gaping hole where it once was. A few bloody fingers could be seen going into the hole to open the door.

The door swung open and there you stood, bloody and bruised. The three men looked at you in awe and confusion. 

“How-?”

“Don’t fucking speak to me,” you growled, “I am going to take a shower.”

Toby just stood there, unable to process the fact that you were actually alive, you may have looked like shit, but there you were, covered in blood and looking hotter than ever. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As the cold water started to run down your body, the dried blood and dirt washed away. The images of the people that had been mauled, maimed, and mutilated didn't go anywhere, though, as a matter of fact, they just lingered and kept replaying.

“Shut up! You stupid fucking cunt, just stay down. Quit fighting back, you won’t win.”

A hand grabbed your hair as you were being yelled at, dragging you over to the lake you had been brought to to be thrown in after being killed. The thought of not being able to swim crossed momentarily, it was gone as soon as it seemed to come. Staying conscious was getting harder by the minute, eyes trying to close and breathing was almost impossible.

Unsure of what to do, a last burst of adrenaline hit, right before getting dunked into the lake. Your hand wrapped itself in the hair of the woman holding you, and dragged her off the dock with you.

Fighting underwater was not as easy as one would hope for in this situation. All you could do was hold on to the throat of the woman trying to murder you. If you’re dying, so is that bitch. Time felt almost as if it was slowed, as you waited for the bitch’s partner in crime to try to help her, he never showed.

Even struggling was hard, but losing is something you were never okay with, you had to win, or not die. Finally, life seemed to have left the woman, but you weren't about to let her trick you. You pulled yourself above the water, dragging the woman with you.

Your hand scrunched a bunch of the woman's hair, and quickly, with all the strength you could muster, you smashed her head into the dock, probably a little more than what would kill her. She will not be coming back from that one, you made sure of it.

As you finished, you stood up and looked down, blood was everywhere, yours and your attacker’s. You had no time to worry about that though, there was a man, somewhere close, who also wanted you dead. Blood loss and pain seemed to start setting in as you reached the grass, knees bruising as you hit the ground.

“What the fuck did they do to me? Why am I not healing? And where the fuck is-?”

Dead. As soon as you saw something, or someone, out of your peripheral vision running off, you noticed the guy was way beyond dead. You gave the woman you left on the dock one last glance, there was absolutely no chance she was coming back, unless someone were to gorilla glue her brain back together.

With both of them dead, you took a few minutes to lay in the grass, in the hopes that regulating your heart rate would start the healing process. It did not.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Tears fell down your cheeks as you sat on the floor of the shower, the back of your head against the wall. Pain was something foreign to you, considering your healing factor, but the healing wasn’t happening, not as fast as usual anyway. The pain was almost unbearable, but the feeling of possibly being dramatic due to never having to feel pain for long seemed to cross your mind.

Unaware of how long you’d be sitting under the warm water, you realized it had been at least 20 minutes. The water started to get cold, the change in temperature wasn’t a bother, considering you run hot anyway, but that meant someone would be checking on you soon, probably Toby. You two had gotten close recently, very close. Too close, according to Tim.

Keeping your composure under the cold water was getting hard, the adrenaline had worn off and everything hurt. Suddenly, you were hyper aware of every bruise and open wound you had, your legs hurt, your body ached, and breathing started getting hard again. A panic attack hit.

A heavy knock hit the bathroom door, and the door opened. The realization of how loud you were sobbing seemed to bring you back to reality. Trying to speak to Tim, who just slung the bathroom door wide open, was impossible at the time, the only thing coming from you were sobs.

The shower curtain moved to the side ever so slightly, Tim’s eyes met yours as you looked up at him, curled into a tight ball, knees against your chest.

“He wanted me to check on you first, can he come in?” Tim seemed to be hiding the worry he had for you, hoping that if he didn’t worry, Toby wouldn’t worry as much. That didn't work. Toby peeked over Tim’s shoulder to see how fucked up you were.

“G-get out Tim,” Toby shoved Tim aside and out the door. Once the bathroom door closed, Toby just stared at you for a minute, taking in the wounds that were not healing. “Why are you st-still bleeding? I th-thought you-.”

Your eyes stayed glued to the wall in front of you, unmoving as your head rested on your knees. Words weren’t coming easy, the panic attack seemed to subside, breathing still seemed to be a big task, and you felt mentally numb.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Toby crouching now and knew he wouldn’t go away without getting the information he wanted and making sure you were okay, and since being okay was not a thing at the moment, he would not be leaving.

“If you’re just gonna sit there and stare at me like that, you might as well get in.” You deadpan, eyes still glued to the wall. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.”

His eyes widened, “I-I,” he stuttered out, shocked by your offer. “I’ll h-have you know, I haven't ever s-seen you n-naked by ch-choice. You don’t l-lock doors.” He was flustered, but he wasn’t going to turn down the offer. He started to remove his clothes, and quickly.

While trying to stand up so Toby could get in the shower, stars filled your vision and put you right back on your ass and a little yelp left your throat. You leaned into the wall again, completely and utterly ready to give up.

Toby sat down beside you, both of you completely vulnerable, and seemed to be scanning the severity of the damage to your body. He was quiet, more quiet than usual, it was almost scary. His eyes finally made his way up to yours, tears started streaming once again. Never in your life had you wanted to be held so badly, you had always been able to be independent and take care of yourself.

With his eyes still locked on yours, the words ‘hold me,’ slipped from your lips. Without hesitation he pulled you into him, causing you to wince with how fast and rough the action was.

“S-sorry,” he whispered as he gently loosened his grip on you. His fingers started tracing the bruises on your arms, then stomach, then your thighs. Something about him having to be gentle with you for the first time, made you feel a way, you couldn’t tell what that way was, but it was nice.

Leaning into him was a lot better than leaning on that hard ass wall, as he continued looking over your body, you listened to his heart as your head rested against his chest, regulating your own breathing and heart rate.

Pain started to slowly subside, your chest was not as tight, and the anxiety had melted away. Healing still wasn’t happening, at least not fast enough, it only seemed to be slowly coming back, and being the most impatient person in the world it might as well just be not working.

“I don’t understand why I am not healing,” you thought aloud, “If you're done looking at my tits from over my shoulder, will you help me just clean up? I feel absolutely disgusting.”

Toby was flustered once more, and hid his face in your shoulder for a moment. “Y-yeah, I can,” he whispered before helping you up.

Being in such a vulnerable state with you was something he never thought would happen, at least not when you first met anyway. Something about the innocence of sitting with each other, naked in the shower, made him want more than that. He was craving you, in so many different ways.

His impulse control was in overdrive but now, he didn’t want to hurt you, he was supposed to help you clean yourself up. All he could think about, though, was having his way with you. His hands were a little shaky now, trying not to think about grabbing you and pushing you against the wall. That seemed to be the only thought his brain could manage to give him, he was getting frustrated.

“You know, as a werewolf, I can smell many different pheromones, and I-,” you were quickly interrupted before you could finish the sentence.

“Sh-shut the f-fuck up!” Toby practically shouted. “You s-stink and you need h-help showering, let me f-finish helping you.”

“How about I help you after this, then? If I’m not too sore anymore.”

The look on Toby’s face was of pure confusion, “with what?”

You shook your head, “Let’s just finish here first.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Toby caught on a lot quicker than you thought he would, you hadn’t seen him move that fast and sporadic before. He needed you though, and when you offered yourself to him, even with the state you were in, he was not going to let opportunity slip away.

Your healing seemed to be back to a semi-normal speed. All you felt were light aches and any open wound looked like a gnarly scar, but they were closed up and not bleeding. What more could someone ask for?

“What the fuck were you two doing in there?” Brian asked, but quickly took the question back. “You know, don’t actually answer that. You two share way too much information already. Pretend I never asked, I am leaving.”

As Brian walked away, Toby practically dragged you to his room. His excitement was unmatched. He has wanted to do this since you two beat the shit out of each other sparring, which was about three weeks ago. Something about you looking feral unlocked something within him.

The thought of you scraping your sharp canine teeth across his neck, bringing blood to the surface while riding his thigh was something he never knew he wanted or needed. He wanted to be buried deep in your pussy, he wanted to be between your thighs, he wanted, no he needed to have you in every way possible.

Toby couldn’t decide what to do first, his thoughts were racing as you stood behind him while he locked the door. Once it was locked, he turned to you and lost the little bit of composure he had left. He grabbed you and ripped the shirt you had just put on after the shower completely off your body, and pushed you down on his bed.

Now all that was left on you was your panties, his focus wasn’t there yet, though. His kisses were sloppy yet held so much passion. His hands seemed to wander your body as he started kissing down your jaw line and making his way to your collarbone.

A small gasp escaped you when his hands finally found their way to your breasts. The way he squeezed them made you think he’d been waiting for the moment. The way he held onto you in general made you wonder how long he’d been wanting this. You had to admit, you had also been waiting for this, the way Toby had been acting around you, the way his glances started lingering, or how you could hear his heart rate change slightly when he’d see you.

His lips were back on yours now, and he was growing more and more desperate by the second, he whined a little as he started grinding into your thigh. You smirked when you realized how needy he was. He took that as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.

You could tell he didn’t know what to do next, the way he moved, twitched, and whined into the kisses. Pulling away from his lips for a moment caused him to become confused, but when your hands moved down his chest and started pulling at his pants he realized you weren’t trying to get away, you were helping him. A giggle came from you when you saw the look on his face.

“Wh-what? D-did I do something wr-wrong?” He was slightly worried.

As you shook your head, your hands went to his hair and pulled back into a kiss. He seemed to melt into you. He was so rough, even while trying to not be rough, then there was you. So gentle and loving. Despite being some sort of monster, you were just so patient, it drove him crazy, he loved it.

“I, I don’t kn-know what to d-do first.” He stuttered through his kisses.

Deciding to take things in your own hands so he wouldn't have to decide, you flipped him onto his back. His eyes went wide, he forgot about your strength, he was not going to argue though. With you on top, he seemed to be in awe. The way you looked was angelic.

“Are you ready?”

All that came from Toby was a whine as you went to sit on him, but you were going slow, way too slow. His hands grabbed your hips hard enough to bruise you as he forced you down. He started grinding up into you, and moving your hips whichever way he wanted, there was no rhythm, just random thrusting.

Now it was your turn to whine. Your hands rested on his abdomen and your claws started to come out. A growl escaped you, as your hips rocked in a more rhythmic way, syncing with his.. The moans and little growls rumbling through you were almost enough to get Toby to cum then and there.

His grip tightened on your hips as he started controlling your movements again, very sporadically. You didn’t care though, you were close too.

“Toby, I’m…” was all you could manage before a warm feeling came over you and you were orgasming. Your head went back and your eyes shut tight, and with your pussy clenching around his dick as you rocked your hips through your high, Toby quickly found ecstasy after you.

A string of moans and cusses came from Toby as he rode out his high with you still on his dick. He didn't want you to move, not yet. His grip on your hips was so tight by now that his knuckles were white. It felt as if he was making sure this was real.

“F-fuck,” He managed to moan out. “That was s-so much b-better than any of the p-porn I’ve ev-ever watched.”

You giggled again as you rolled from the top of Toby to the side of him. You laid your head on his chest for a moment, just listening to his heart. You gently kissed his cheek, before throwing your legs over the side of his bed and putting on a shirt that was on his floor. You were almost certain it was not a clean shirt, you used it though, just in case Tim or Brian came in and saw you with absolutely nothing on. Not that they would ask you any questions about what you were doing though. They have learned their lesson asking that one too many times. 

“I don’t know how much longer they will be gone, but I have to pee. When I come back-”

“We’re fucking even ha-harder. I have s-so many th-things I want to try wi-with you.” Toby was very serious saying this, but laughed a little, until he heard Tim and Brian walk in through the front door. He wasn’t going to be able to do anything with you now, they would complain about the noise.

Brian was quick to speak as he walked in, “We’re back, please don’t be fucking in my line of sight.”

Tim shook his head at that statement. “I am going to bed, if you are fucking, do it quietly,”

“They are such party poopers. Looks like it’s bedtime at the old folks home. Whatever, you good if I sleep in here tonight? That couch is going to give me tetanus with those rusty springs stabbing me in my ass cheeks.”

Toby looked from you to his bed, and gave you a strange look. “Your bed is way more comfy!”

“H-how do you kn-know that?”

“I take naps in here when you’re out or whatever.” You spoke matter of factly. The two of you stared at each other, unblinking for about ten seconds. Toby sighed, and promptly made a small  space for you.

“D-don't make this a habit.”

“Sleeping in your room? We just fucked in your bed. Shut up.”

[sandwitchstories]

Kinktober Day 18 Prompt- Free Use- Rengoku x Reader

Things have not gone as planned with Kinktober for me between work, life, new AU world building obsession and writers block all at the same time. I am still going to try to get through the prompts I made, but it will be out of order and probably past October when I complete it lol Better late than never, I suppose!

Here lies The Reward- Day 18 - Free Use - (Kyojuro Rengoku x Reader)

If you prefer to read it on AO3, click here!

Summary: Just a little drabble about Kyojuro cashing in on the reward you offered him for quitting smoking.

WC: 600+

CW: SMUT, MDNI, cunnilingus, oral sex(f!receiving), vaginal fingering, AFAB terms used to describe reader's naughty bits

Divider by: @tsunami-of-tears

You were in the middle of making coffee when your husband wrapped his arms around you from behind, laying soft, teasing kisses on your neck as his hands traveled the planes of your body before settling on undoing the buttons of his shirt you wore. You bit your lip and pressed your ass back into him. “You’re starting awfully early in the morning with your shenanigans, Kyo, my love.”

“Do you remember what today is, beautiful?” he asked, nuzzling the crook of your neck.

“It’s Saturday.”

“It’s 121 days since I quit smoking,” he said in a teasing voice. “Do you remember the offer you made me? What you offered as a reward for quitting?”

You were struggling to concentrate as Kyojuro bared your skin and his hands moved, so large and warm, over the flesh. His hands slid up your sides from you hips to grope your breasts, toying with and pulling on your nipples. You were so wet you could feel it. And it was not only thanks to the magic his lips and fingers were working on your skin, or the feeling of his rock hard length rubbing against you from behind. You remember clearly the tantalizing offer. The deal you had made. If his quit smoking completely, after 3 months, your gift to him was a day of ‘free use.’

“Yes, I remember quite clearly,” you said, trying to refocus on the conversation. “Are you redeeming it today?”

“Absolutely,” he chuckled. He pulled his shift from your shoulders, tossing it on the counter behind him. 

His lips began trailing down your back as he lowered to his knees behind you. He pressed your back forwards so you bent and he moved to rest his head against the cupboards. You looked down at him, trying to see him over the mounds of your dangling chest.

“Go ahead and keep making our coffee, my love. Don’t mind me,” he grinned, kissing your inner thigh.

You whimpered as he pressed kisses on your cunt. Your hips moved of their own free will, wanting more. Needing more. 

“Oh yes,” he said, opting to stick his tongue out to flick your clit, and bring you back fully into the moment. “As you were.”

You worked on remembering the steps to making coffee, struggling to concentrate. Kyojuro’s tongue and fingers were working your cunt expertly and you were already nearing your orgasm. “Kyo!” you called his name, hand reaching down to grab onto his hair, trying to pull him away from your oversensitized cunt. 

The stubborn man refused to move. Instead he sucked harder and faster, added another finger to the ones splitting your cunt open, thrusting them harder and faster as well. You clutched on to the counter with your free hand as your orgasm tore through you. Only Kyojuro’s hands on your hips kept you upright as you moaned and rocked on his face and tongue, fucked yourself on his fingers, and mouth.

You panted as you came down, slowing to a stop and resting on the counter. “Gods, Kyojuro… your mouth… you’re so good with it baby.”

He grinned and pressed a kiss to your cunt before moving to stand up. He moved to lean against you as you turned your body to be able to kiss him properly. He grinned at you. “I am glad you approve. Especially since I am planning to snack on you many times today.”

With that he gave your ass a firm smack, grabbed his cup of coffee with a wink and walked off, leaving you staring at his back.

You began to clean up the counter, your coffee all but forgotten. Your mind was busy racing with ideas of where else and when else he might take you. Those filthy thoughts went straight to your cunt. 

As you headed towards the laundry room and heard steps behind you and you couldn’t help but grin to yourself. Your husband’s libido and stamina were out of this world. It was going to be a long (amazing) day.

[zeruby16]

extra credit- kim jiwoong

18+ MDNI

genre: smut, fluff, romance

summary: when you're in dire need of extra credit after butchering your classical literature paper, you ask your class ta, jiwoong, for help.

word count: 3.3 k

warnings: afab! reader, dom jiwoong; usage of pet names (sweetheart, angel, good girl); cursing; oral sex (giving); fingering; penetration; protected sex (always use protection); slightest degradation kink; slight sir kink; slight exhibitionism; please let me know if i missed any!

notes: um..hey y'all so i'm back. trust me when i say this took me like three months to write because being in school made me so uninspired😭 i had major writers block and still do, but my bestie motivated me to finish this. anyways, i have not grammer checked this at all, so please spare me. i hope you all enjoy and i'll try to write more if i can!

REMINDER: 18+ MDNI

you hated the word validation, yet it’s all you’ve ever wanted.

in school, at home, with your friends, you craved hearing people compliment your hard work. 

it made you feel like you were in ecstasy.

so you’d be damned if you got a b in classical literature. it would ruin your perfect gpa, your reputation with your experienced professors, and your sanity.

you needed an a. you were going to get that a.

your main obstacle was an analysis paper on pride and prejudice. 

pride and prejudice for god’s sake.

everything would’ve been fine if jane austen wrote in understandable sentences, but here you were struggling to comprehend how the hell elizabeth fell for mr. darcy. 

the paper was due today and you submitted whatever you could online, but you remembered your professor’s words.

“every project will be graded by me, every paper will be graded by your teacher’s assistant, kim jiwoong.”

kim jiwoong was well-known throughout your university. he was a graduate student who helped out all of his previous professors. it was very noble of him.

he was also the most beautiful man to exist. any girl dropped at his sight, including you.

you were already familiar with jiwoong.

since his previous professors were in the same major as yours, you already had him as a ta for another class.

the other class, the english renaissance, was the worst class you’ve taken. 

you had done perfectly well on every assignment, but then your final happened to be cumulative and you could not remember an ounce of anything pertaining to shakespeare. 

you caved and confided in jiwoong as you always struggled with cumulative finals. then, you scored a 96 on the final.

half of it was on shakespeare. you should’ve failed, but you always got an a.

you knocked on the door twice before waiting for his response.

“come in!”

once you opened the door, you were met with his focused eyes. 

jiwoong was one of the nicest people you knew. he helped anyone who struggled left and right. he even offered tutoring to the students who couldn’t comprehend what went on in lecture.

you had no doubt that he was probably reviewing someone’s paper right now, so they could submit a better product. 

“what can i do for you y/n?” you noticed the slight change in his posture, he had to have a clue as to what you were planning.

“i submitted my analysis paper, but i wanted to stop by and mention how i didn’t comprehend anything from the book,” your eyes contained a hint of dejection. 

“i can’t do anything about it, you already submitted it,” he sternly said, you could see his hand gripping the pen he was using harder.

“i know, but i wanted to apologize beforehand. austen’s works are complex and i read the book three times, but i couldn’t conjure anything in the paper,”

“i tried jiwoong, for weeks, but nothing.”

he sighed while leaning back on his chair. it was working.

“you never struggle with papers,” he mentioned suspiciously.

“sometimes i do, it’s rare though. i’ve only ever struggled once throughout college,” you emphasized. 

“what are you trying at y/n?”

“i was just wondering if there was an opportunity for extra credit,” you innocently asked. you wanted him to give in. you needed him to give in.

he pushes back his hair in distress, while staring you up and down. he may have only dealt with you once, but he knew your ruse.

“you know how wrong this is,”

“jiwoong, i am an adult, you’re an adult. there is absolutely nothing stopping us,” you moved closer to his desk, leaning on it while placing your arms down.

“my integrity will,” you chuckled.

you neared his face as you whispered in his ear, “it hasn’t stopped you before.”

“god the things you make me feel,” he muttered under his breath. you moved away from him, enjoying the teasing.

you walked backward toward the door silently begging for him to stand up. to come rush by your side and help you.

you were in dire need of his assistance.

“do you know how hard it is to see you in class?” he started, standing slowly from his chair.

“to see you laughing with those idiotic boys? to see them staring at you like they have a chance?”

jiwoong makes his way towards you, backing you into the door.

“i’m only having fun,” 

“they can’t handle you y/n. you’re the smartest one in your batch and your beauty is unmatched. they don’t stand a chance,”

“and you do?” you taunted, finding his eyes and then his lips.

his hands made their way to your waist, pinning it against the door. you couldn’t help but let out a small grin at your silent victory.

“of course i do sweetheart, i’m the only one who’s made you scream,” you felt your legs give up on you as his words went straight to your core.

“i’m the only one who’s heard your beautiful moans and small whimpers while you lose yourself on my cock,” his fingers graced your breasts under your shirt.

his touch was cool, but all it made you do was burn. 

you closed your eyes in delight. you forgot how deliberating jiwoong made you feel. it was why you longed for him so much after he helped you the first time.

“what happened? cat caught your tongue?” he smirked seeing you shiver under his touch.

“you act all high and mighty when we both know how easily i can change that.”

“prove it then,” you blurted, wanting to feel his everything and needing him desperately.

“i need you to say it louder sweetheart,” he caressed your face, pulling you closer to him.

“prove it,” you spoke and his lips took yours. he kissed you like you had been apart from years. 

his hands bunched up the skirt you were wearing and he slightly lifted, pausing the kiss to see the view before meeting your lips again.

“you got soaked at the thought of you taking me?” he teased, your face flushed red, avoiding his eyes.

“look at me princess,” his hand forced you to meet his eyes. he was anticipating your answer. 

“did you? did you fantasize about me?” 

you whimpered under his touch, feeling utterly embarrassed at his words, yet you wanted more.

“yes sir, i thought of you,”

“no wonder you couldn’t write your damn paper, you were too busy thinking about getting fucked.”

jiwoong tightened the hold on your waist and guided you towards his desk, stopping when you sat yourself on top of it. 

he pulled away from your lips as he quickly discarded your shirt somewhere in the office. you tossed your bra somewhere, signaling how you wanted his kiss everywhere.

he proceeded to ravish your chest, bruising you as much as he could. it was as if he wanted to prove to others how he was the only one who deserved you.

you started to feel his body under his shirt, while pulling on his hair every so often, earning grunts from him.

annoyed by his shirt, jiwoong lifts it off of himself and leans further towards you, deepening the kiss.

your hands started to reach for his cock, caressing it over his pants. you needed him more than ever.

his brows furrowed at your movements and you unzipped his pants, feeling him closer. he lets you do as you please as you pull down his pants, his boxers joining them.

seeing the hardened member, you immediately stroke it a few times before coating your hand in spit and proceeding to repeat your motions.

“god how are you so good at this?” jiwoong grunted while placing his forehead on yours.

you let go of his member and stood up, grabbing his arms in place and sitting him down on the desk instead. your knees met the carpet and you took him into mouth.

you stopped for a moment to respond to him, “i’m a hands-on learner.”

he lightly moans at your words, recalling how the last time you two were in this position he was guiding you.

in satisfaction, you continued bobbing your mouth up and down his hard-on. you took the time to tease his slit that was already coated with precum and use your hands, slightly squeezing his member. 

he grabbed your hair, somewhat forcing you to quicken your pace. drool had started to spill from your mouth and you looked up at jiwoong, seeing him in absolute bliss.

“my good girl, you’re doing so well,” he cooed.

his words went straight to your core and you felt the need to please him more.

once you felt his hold on your tighten, you knew he was close to cumming. you quickened your pace while his cock started to hit the back of your throat.

his grunts were more vocal and he moaned as his cum spilled into your mouth.

you took everything into your mouth and finished off with a ‘pop’ once you were finished, smiling at him afterwards.

“you’ll be the death of me,” he commented before lifting your body up and holding it as your legs felt like jelly.

“did i do good?” you asked expectantly, jiwoong released a sigh before taking your lips.

“you did amazing, sweetheart, but i think i need a little more for you to get an a,” he chuckled.

“i’m all yours jiwoong, take me.”

he smirked at your words and made his way back to his chair. once he sat, he patted his legs.

“come here sweetheart, we’re going to grade your paper together,” your eyes sparkled at the thought and you walked and sat yourself on his lap, facing the computer.

you shivered as you felt his warm member under you, but he stayed still. once he found your paper among many of the others, he clicked on it and placed his hands on your thighs.

the paper came up and you reread the words, remembering every line that you wrote. you were so focused on reanalysing your paper, that you failed to realize how jiwoong was starting to tease your bundle of nerves.

you let out a small gasp as his finger grazed your core, teasing you every now and then as you grabbed the desk for support.

“let’s see how you did angel,” he says into your ear as he inserts a finger inside of you. 

you placed your head on his shoulder for support and he fastens the pace, while reading your paper.

“eyes on the screen, i already found a mistake,” he forces you to look at your paper highlighting the mistakes. meanwhile, he plunges another finger inside of you.

“you contradicted yourself here, how can darcy be chivalrous once sentence and then an ass in the next,” 

you left his question unanswered, letting the ecstasy you were feeling sink in until his fingers stopped.

“i asked you a question,”

“uhm,” you swallowed, “i don’t know.”

jiwoong chuckled, “you don’t know? this is your paper sweetheart, minus two points.”

you quipped your heads towards him, realizing how he was genuinely grading your paper and begging for him to take it back.

“you want extra credit you have to deserve it, you’re going to explain each mistake you made for me,”

“but-”

“no buts, you asked for this. now, why did you contradict yourself?”

you sighed, silently admitting defeat.

“darcy did everything the way he was suppose to, making himself a perfect suitor in a way, but he completely disregarded elizabeth’s feelings the entire time and decided to act purely for his own interests,”

you could feel jiwoong’s smile as his fingers started to continuously pleasure you. you moaned in relief as jiwoong continued to read the paper.

he tsked, but his fingers maintained their pace.

“and here, you really think elizabeth revealed jane’s and bingley’s possible engagement out of jealousy?”

you shut your eyes slightly annoyed, but answered nonetheless wanting his fingers to fill you.

“not out of jealousy-” you whimpered as he fastened the pace of his fingers, teasing you endlessly.

“out of spite, she only mentioned the couple because she knew it would garner a reaction from darcy,” you somehow let out.

with a hum of satisfaction you assume, jiwoong places his eyes on your paper once again. you rejoice looking at the screen because the paper was nearly done being read.

jiwoong takes his time using his fingers to tease you mercilessly, all while forcing you to maintain your composure.

you begin to feel a haze as you feel a knot in your stomach.

“jiwoong-”

“not yet angel, i’m not done grading.”

your moans grew louder, feeling your climax closer and closer. your eyes looked at his concentrated face as he read and read.

it felt like a decade and you couldn’t handle it.

“jiwoong please,” you begged, not caring about your shame anymore.

you came here for him, the a was just an excuse.

“why do you think elizabeth accepted darcy’s proposal?” 

“are you serious?”

“why?”

“she was desperate for marriage,” you rushed out, starting to lose any complete thought.

“do you think she was as desperate as you are right now?” he said lowly, never wavering the pace of his fingers and reaching your spot.

“i don’t know,” you whimpered.

“what was that?”

“i don’t know!”

“but you know everything sweetheart don’t you? that’s why you think you deserve an a,”

“jiwoong, i’m so close,” you completely pressed your body towards his desk, trying to restrain yourself from touching him.

“i know, which is why i’m not allowing you to cum,” he announced.

you turned to him astonished as he took his fingers out of you and innocently licked your juices from them.

“the paper could’ve been better, i thought you read the book three times?”

“i did,” you nearly sobbed.

“well that didn’t reflect in the paper, so now you have to earn your grade and your right to cum,”

“how?” you immediately quipped, willing to do anything for the man.

“you can start by placing yourself on the desk, ass up,” your body immediately follows through and you stand up with your hands on the desk while facing the door.

you hear rustling of the cabinets behind you as jiwoong finds a condom and he grabs a hold of your waist.

“remember angel, try not to be too loud. everyone is grading,” you nodded understandingly, whimpering as you felt jiwoong slowly entering you.

“god princess, it was like you were waiting for me,” he groaned, waiting for your signal to go as your walls clenched around him.

when you placed your elbows on the desk, positioning yourself in a more pleasurable way, jiwoong took it as a sign to go on.

his pace started slowly, while you moaned under your breath feeling him everywhere. 

“jiwoong,” you moaned while he quickened his pace. although he tried to conceal them, his groans were slowly becoming louder.

“yes sweetheart?”

“more,” you begged, wanting more pleasure, more of his touch, and more of his everything.

“your wish is my command,” he said, bucking his hips towards yours rapidly while using one of the hands that was on your waist to tease your clit.

you let out a moan as he continuously hit your pleasure spot with a steady face. with his other free hand, he grabbed your hair loosely, pulling you closer towards him.

all you could let out was his name in whimpers. 

“you’re so good for me y/n,” the praise went straight to your core as he knew what you wanted to hear.

“such a good girl, you take my cock so well,”

“only for you,” you let out between the whimpers and moans, as jiwoong shows no signs of stopping.

“you wanted this didn’t you? you didn’t even need help, you just wanted to lose yourself on my cock,”

“not…true,” you lied.

you loathed pride and prejudice, but papers were your forte and if you really tried, you knew you could’ve done fine without help.

jiwoong was just amazing at validating you and fucking you beautifully, so you couldn’t help but beg for his assistance.

he slapped your ass in response, “don’t lie to me,” he warned.

“i promise sir,” you nearly yelled, forgetting any sense of being quiet. jiwoong placed a hand on your mouth, muffling any sound.

“you promised last time how this would never happen again didn’t you? look at you now,” he whispered in your ear.

you closed your eyes in ecstasy as you felt the knot in your stomach growing once again.

jiwoong kept on giving and giving, while you just took everything he gave.

“please, ” you begged into his palms, clenching around him while he hit your spot over and over again.

“just a little longer princess, i’m almost there,” jiwoong somehow got faster, ramming into you repeatedly all while you moaned into his hands.

“god, you’re perfect,” he mumbled.

suddenly, it all felt like too much. you closed your eyes in bliss while screaming out jiwoong’s name as you came. your head fell onto his shoulders as he lightly kissed your chin, chasing his release as well.

once his groans grew louder, you felt the warmth of the cum he spilled into the condom as his pace became sloppy.

he slowly pulled out of you as you stood breathlessly in between his arms, beads of sweat slowly falling down your face.

he disposed of the filled condom into the trash under the desk and turned you around to face him.

his goofy smile made you chuckle on the spot as you realized the other reason you wanted to visit jiwoong.

you genuinely enjoyed his presence. he made you feel safe and seen when everyone else had expectations for you. he looked at you as if you were the most important thing in the world at that moment.

desires aside, jiwoong was someone you could love and you were willing to give it a shot.

if he didn’t show how much he cared with words, he certainly did with actions as he showed when he started to clean you up with tissues.

you couldn’t help but laugh.

“what’s so funny?” he quizzically asked.

“you’re using tissues?” he rolled his eyes as he threw them in the trash and lifted your body to sit on the desk.

“well if someone didn’t need help so much, i could’ve prepared with time to bring something more premium,” he joked as you caressed the hairs behind his neck lightly.

“i’m sorry, the pent up stress from finals got to me. you don’t have to do anything with the grade,”

“nonsense y/n, your paper was exceptional either way. you didn’t need extra credit at all. you doubt yourself too much,” he complimented.

“does that mean i get an a?��� you excitedly let out, not being able to contain yourself. jiwoong smiled at the gesture.

“yes, but you should probably stop relying on me for them because i am no help,”

“i guess it’s a good thing i graduate this semester then,” you mentioned and his eyebrows perked up.

“you graduate this semester? how come i didn’t know?”

“i wanted you to think i would taunt you for a long amount of time,” he slightly smirked at your confession.

“as if you didn’t have me wrapped around your fingers. speaking of, since you're graduating, when can i take you out on a date?”

“whenever you grow the balls to ask,” you joked as he looked down and up to meet your eyes again.

“maybe when we’re not naked?”

“probably.”

a/n: hope you all enjoyed whatever the hell this was😭 like i mentioned i'll try to write more but this writers block has stumped me. i appreciate you all and thank you for taking the time to read my works! :)

@zeruby16 on tumblr | est. 2023

[just-a-little-cellist]

Hey its me who asked for your The Unexpected Guest, and it was brilliant! I love the idea of part 2 it makes more sense!

I loved your idea of once they get to Rivendell Thorins and readers feelings are explored and some spicy stuff happens

Thank you, and love your work!☺️x

(I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I'm really sorry for the wait for part 2 - uni work, work work and writer's block are not a great combo and I didn't want to rush this (this part also got WAY longer than I thought it would), plus I've made some minor edits to part 1 since I wasn't totally happy with it - been a hot minute since I wrote smut so I hope this is ok :D thank you all for being so patient and I hope you enjoy!!)

(link for part 1 - warning for NSFW content below, oral (m receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it))

ghivashel - treasure of all treasures, amralime - my love

An Unexpected Guest pt.2 (Thorin x AFAB!fem!human!reader)

The journey to Rivendell was taxing on all of you, though you couldn't help but feel most sorry for Bilbo. The hobbit was so new to adventuring - you doubted he had ever been out of the Shire before now - and you had decided to support him wherever you could as a helping hand. Just helping him set up camp, saddling his pony in the morning, offering him water, little gestures seemed to make a difference in his demeanor.

Spending time with the hobbit to keep his morale up, especially after the troll attack, did mean that it was getting harder to find a spare moment with Thorin. The two of you had spoken much more frequently since his confession, and you wished for more time, but the whole group was in poor spirits as it was. While they were all happy for you, public displays of affection were just likely to irritate everyone further. And Thorin's burden of leadership would likely not be eased while you were still on the road. For the moment, all you could do was keep moving and offer comfort to whoever needed it.

Needless to say, arriving at Rivendell was a weight off your shoulders. Even if the dwarves tried to pick a fight with Elrond.

You had all taken your time to settle in and relax, having taken full advantage of the elves' hospitality (and you were forever grateful for being able to feel clean after the long journey). When the group of you were provided with dinner and the inevitable food fight broke out, you were happy to see how everyone's spirits had been lifted. However, you couldn't help but notice your One stood to the side. There was a content smile on his face, but you could easily see the tension that still bristled through him.

You soon found him after everybody had retreated to their rooms for the night. It was hard not to hear him - the pacing in his room seemed to echo through the hallway, if only slightly. Raising your hand, you softly knocked at the door, hoping that he wouldn't be too stubborn to talk to you.

"Come in."

Even his tone of voice betrayed his stress. He visibly relaxed when you entered the room though, shutting the door behind you, and you felt glad to at least be some comfort.

You smiled in greeting, and spoke softly. "Will you tell me what's going on with you?"

"I assure you, I am fine. Do not trouble yourself."

You closed the distance between you hesitantly, giving him the chance to back away, and took his hands. "Please, Thorin. I can see something is troubling you."

"I am just... concerned. About the future of this quest, about everyone's safety." You saw a struggle in his mind of not wanting to be vulnerable, but he seemed to give in, and sighed in defeat. "I fear that people are going to be hurt because of me."

"Oh, my love..." you breathed, pressing your forehead to his. "You are the best leader any of us could ask for, and I promise you that you will not be the cause of any hurt."

He gently pulled back and looked into your eyes. "You truly believe that?"

"Of course I do. Those in this company are strong and intelligent. Perhaps with the exception of your nephews," you chuckled, and Thorin couldn't help but smile. "They are all capable of making their own decisions. They knew the risks of coming along, but they have all chosen to join anyway because they saw a courageous dwarf that they wanted to follow."

"I only want to do right by my people."

"And you will. We all have faith in you."

He pressed his forehead to yours again. "You're far too good to me, ghivashel," he murmured.

"All I want is for you to be happy, my love."

And with that, you tilted your head up and kissed him, your fingers tracing his cheekbones as you pulled him closer. It wasn't rushed and clumsy, as it was when Thorin first confessed, but slow and loving, every movement of your lips against his a confession of love in itself. His hands found their way to your waist and pulled you flush against him, trying to feel as much of you as possible.

When you separated to take a breath, meeting his lust-filled gaze was all the encouragement you needed.

"I wonder if there's any way I could relieve some of your stress..." Your tone was playful as you slid your hands achingly slowly down Thorin's chest, and you heard him inhale as you stopped just at his hips.

"Amralime, are you sure? If we start I will not want to hold back."

"I trust you, Thorin." You smiled and nodded towards the double bed. "And we may as well take advantage of the luxury while we have it."

He smirked. "I'm beginning to think you came here just to bed me."

"Hey, I would never-"

Your sarcastic reply was cut off by him kissing you again, with a desperation you hadn't seen from him before. Maybe you had awakened something long kept under control, but any coherent thought of that was soon lost when he shrugged the furs off his shoulders and his fingers found the hem of your shirt.

Soon becoming restless feeling him trace the curves of your waist, you broke away from the kiss just long enough to tug your shirt off. Thorin did the same, and after some hurried fumbling between more stolen kisses, you were both undressed. His hands never left your body as he backed you up towards the bed.

"You are so beautiful, ghivashel..." he murmured, lips trailing along your jawline and down your neck. It was so easy to get lost in the sensation, but when he tried to sit you down on the bed, you stopped him.

"Tonight is about you, my love." You turned the two of you around and gently pushed him back to sit down, taking the time to admire his toned body as you knelt in front of him.

Thorin's eyes were wide with surprise and he almost looked as if he wanted to protest, but the twitch of his already hard cock gave him away.

"You... you don't have to-"

"I want to." His breath hitched when your lips traced his thigh, and you smiled. "Relax, my king..."

Any further protest was soon lost when you leaned forward and licked a long stripe up his length, wrenching a gasp from his lips. Your movements were slow, mapping out every inch of him with kitten licks until he was writhing impatiently before you, until you were done teasing and sucked his tip into your mouth.

The room was filled with the sounds of breathy groans and muttered Khuzdul that you could barely focus on as you continued. Thorin twisted his fingers into your hair when you began taking him inch by inch into your mouth - his grip was firm, but never controlling - and when you started bobbing your head he was certain that he must've been dreaming.

Looking up at him and pressing your thighs together to suppress your own arousal, you watched his head tilt back in ecstasy every time you pressed your tongue flat against his tip when you rose. The sounds he made were so beautiful that it was becoming more and more difficult to control yourself. Fortunately, it seemed you wouldn't need to for much longer. You felt the tension in his body increase with every bob of your head, every swipe of your tongue, and as your movements grew faster you wrapped your hand around the base to stroke what you couldn't fit in your mouth. Yet, when you next looked up at him, he gently pushed you away, denying himself climax.

"Is everything alright, my love?"

He leant down for a brief kiss, still breathing heavily, and nodded. "That was... incredible." He took your hands and guided you to stand, then pulled you closer to straddle his lap.

"Then-" You inhaled sharply feeling his lips and teeth over your throat. "Then why didn't you let me finish?"

Thorin didn't answer for a moment, too busy creating a cluster of pink marks along your neck. When he was satisfied with his work, he tugged your hips down to press his hard length against you.

"Because I want to finish inside you, amralime."

You simply nodded, feeling too flustered and on edge to offer any sort of response beyond a whispered, "Please..."

Thorin stood up holding you, his lips continuing their assault on your neck, and carefully laid you down in the center of the bed. He slotted himself between your legs and wasted no time in moving to prepare you. Pausing to receive a nod of consent, he slid one thick finger into you, and you gasped at the sudden feeling. He soon added a second when you began rocking your hips against his hand impatiently, begging for more.

"Patience," he chuckled. "I do not want to hurt you."

"I don't care." You moaned breathlessly with every curl of his fingers. It felt like so much already, but still not enough. "I need you now, Thorin."

"Who would I be to deny my queen?"

He withdrew his fingers and you immediately pulled him forward to kiss you, a soft gasp being pulled from you when he ground his hips against you, ever so lightly pressing against your clit. Holding himself up over you with one hand, he used the other to guide his tip to your entrance and, swallowing your cries in the kiss, he slowly pushed into you.

His hand found yours and your fingers intertwined while he waited for any signs of your discomfort to fade. It was an uncomfortable stretch to fit his thick cock, but it soon became a welcome sensation, and you wrapped your legs around his waist to urge him on.

He moved carefully at first, until your cries of pain became cries of pleasure, and soon his hips snapped back against you much more firmly. Each thrust hit so deep inside of you, filling you up so perfectly, and his fingers gripped your hips almost tight enough to bruise. You clutched onto him tightly, trying to stay grounded amongst the sensations. One hand was buried in his hair, keeping his forehead pressed against yours, the other was digging into his back, leaving scratches that you were sure would last a few days at least. Though it didn't seem to bother him - every time you dug your nails into his back, it seemed to be encouragement, and he relentlessly kept up his pace. It was firm and deep, but never rough, though part of you wondered how hard he would go if you asked.

With each thrust, you bucked your hips to meet him, trying to get more friction to ignite the coil of heat growing in your core. Thorin's moans soon grew louder, despite him trying to remain as quiet as he could, and when his rhythm grew unsteady his fingers slipped down to circle your clit as his teeth latched onto your neck again.

"Ghivashel..." he murmured, his voice strained. "I'm so close..."

Your mind was spinning with pleasure, and you felt yourself reaching your peak as well. "I am too..." you panted.

His hips shifted just enough to hit a spot inside you to make you see stars, and along with the attention on your clit and your neck, it was enough to push you over the edge. Your grip on him tightened as the coil snapped and heat spread through your body, and you buried your face into the crook of his neck to muffle your cry of pleasure.

It seemed to last forever, and in your pleasure-filled haziness you registered Thorin also growing tense, and you heard his deep groan as he reached his climax and came inside of you. He felt so perfect, and you both stayed clinging onto each other, lost for breath, until you both came to.

Still catching his breath, he kissed your forehead and pulled out to lie next to you, and you couldn't help but whimper at the sudden emptiness.

He lay on his side, facing you, and brought your hand up to his lips. "You are so wonderful, amralime."

You smiled softly and shuffled closer, putting an arm over his waist and tucking your head under his. "So are you, my king."

You glanced back at the door to the room and chuckled.

"What is it?"

"Maybe we should lock the door next time."

[gatorbites-imagines]

Could you possibly do a Jason Todd x Male reader Hurt/ comfort smut?

Jason had been going into a depressive episode little by little, has well has his truama coming back.

So the reader decides that he is going to do something that he feels no one has done in a while.

When Jason gets out of the shower still in just a towel, the reader stops him from getting dressed and leads him to their shared bed. Jason is actually a little anxious at this, because he can't quite read the facial expression. Starts to overthink a little, then the reader tells Jason to lay down on the bed. The reader starts kisses every scar on Jason's body, leaving no cut too small to kiss.

Jason slowly going into subspace has the reader tells him, he's not what joker made him, or what Batman wants him to be. But he's 'my sweet boy' and telling Jason how much of a good boyfriend he is. Instead of them having sex, to Jason it actually feels like they are making love.

Jason Todd x male reader

Headcanons

Guess who’s not dead, just been battling major writers block and spending my free time playing Obey me Nightbringer. Idk if this is as smutty as you had hoped, but I hope you like it anyways.

It wasn’t unusual for Jason to spiral or backpedal when it came to his mental health. Dying and being brought back to life can be plenty damaging on your psyche and mix that with everything else in Jason’s life it’s no surprise he crumbles at times.

Jason, as much as he hates to admit it, is similar to Bruce when it comes to his weaknesses. He likes to hide them and ignore they’re existence until the feelings pass, so you’d have to figure out he’s struggling on your own.

Its either discovered on your own, or its because you two have dated for a long time and he truly feels safe with you, and tells you about his mental state.

So, when you notice him spiraling again, you decide to take care of him the way he deserves. So, rolling up your sleeves, you get to work getting everything ready.

You get his favorite things, like snacks and drinks, fins his favorite movies or shows, his comfort blankets and clothes, incase he wants to wear said clothes, and get your shared bedroom ready.

When Jason steps out of the bathroom its clear just from his body language that he’s about to collapse in on himself, from his slumped shoulders and pained eyes, its not hard to see.

When Jason goes to get dressed you lead him away from it, kiss him softly, and lead him towards your shared bed whilst pulling the towel off his hips.

He’s anxious of course, because his mental state isn’t really on his side and keeps filling his head with lies, that he isn’t good enough for you and is disgusting.

But Jason can’t stop his soft cock from thickening up with blood as you rub your hands down his front as you push him down onto the sheets. It’s not difficult to get Jasons body into gear, as he’s touch starved and aches for your touch on a good day.

Jason can only half bury his face into the pillow as you rub him down, a shuddered breath leaving him as you start pressing soft wet kisses all over his body, nipping at his skin at times and running your tongue over some of his scars.

In the beginning he tenses when you touch his scars, but when the praise starts Jason almost melts into the mattress. His thick muscular thighs fall apart like your Moses parting the red sea, his body immediately quivering as he grows harder and harder.

Jason will shyly look down at you as you work your way down his stomach, his thighs twitching as you kiss a scar in the seam between his thigh and his crotch. He’s red in the face and is regularly swallowing as spit gathers in his mouth. Jasons scarred hands are gripping onto the pillow and sheets as a lifeline, his body wound tight like the string on a bow.

When you move away from his crotch to kiss down his legs he whines, oh so softly and broken, a keen that comes from deep in his chest, that he is extremely embarrassed for making.

But when you run the flat of your tongue over the inner side of his knee, his hard length twitches against his stomach, dripping precum into a tiny wet puddle. His cock is turning red from lack of attention, and Jasons hitched breaths sound almost like he’s crying.

In the beginning Jason would fight subspace, as part of him doesn’t believe he deserves the relief of it, but all your praise and kisses and attention chips away at his resolve, and when he finally tumbles clumsily into the comfort of subspace, you make sure to praise him so much.

When you work him open Jason just takes it, drooling into the fabric of the pillow as he struggles to keep his legs open, to give you room to work. Jason ends up reaching a point where he can’t even speak with how deeply he’s floating, you still make sure he’s fully along for the ride. It ends up getting you many frustrated and whiny whimpers when you keep stopping for his approval, but you want to make fully sure.

When you push inside him Jason almost sobs, finally looking you in the eye with his wet puppy dog eyes. His pretty pink lips are in a pout, and you can’t stop yourself from leaning in and taking it between your teeth to give it a nibble and a suckle.

The two of you start sloppily kissing as you begin moving, your hips drawing back and forth with little to no rhythm, your tongues running against one another with little rhyme nor reason.

Jason shakily wraps his arms around you, breathless begs passing his lips for you to move faster, to make him feel more pleasure, to give him what you think he deserves.

But you never move hard enough to hurt him, only laying it on even thicker with the praise and love, and the love is what ends up making Jason cry as his heart feels so full by your side.

There is no rush to your coupling, the two of you taking all the time you need, your mutual orgasms drawing up slowly over time. They start in your toes and slowly climb their way up your legs, up your spine, and finally you both burst together.

The wobbly wet whimper Jason lets out when he finishes it all you need to push you over the edge, because that noise is only one he ever truly lets out when he feels open and loved enough to be vulnerable, and knowing he feels like that for you is all the push you need.

Aftercare is an absolute, no matter the mental state either of you are in. Even if you two have a quickie you always check up on each other, so when you are finally able to carefully pull you, much to Jason’s warbled complaints, you make sure to take care of him.

The praise and love keep leaving your lips as you wipe him down with a warm damp cloth, kissing his palms and the soles of his feet as you clean him up, his eyes unseeing but brimming with love and trust.

Jason seems against the idea of getting dressed, so you two just end up snuggling under a clean blanket you readied earlier, your scarred lover cuddled into your neck, tucked right up under your chin where he can feel your pulse and hear you breathe.

One of Jasons favorite movies is playing in the background, but your partner is still floating off somewhere in subspace, so you just hold him and love on him until he drifts away into a dreamless sleep, his soft breaths being all you need to know that he’s asleep.

[gingerjunhan]

Hellooo~ anon 🌺 it's back! Happy Xmas! Happy New Year! Happy everything 🫡

I would like to request something!

Reaction of XH when reader has a really rough day and they don't talk too much (when they are usually so talkative)

Tysm ly 💖

☆彡 hi 🌺anon! Hope you had a nice holiday season 🫶🏻 sorry this fic literally took me 5ever- college works hard but my writer's block works harder. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

word count: 2,751 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: eating, swearing, reader ✨struggles to talk about their feelings✨, crying, pet names (sunshine, honey, baby, pretty), partially proofread, lmk if I missed anything!

goo gunil

Gunil had invited you over to the dorm for the evening after not hearing from you much throughout the day. During your time together, he couldn’t help but notice that you seemed a little upset. What would typically be an evening of fun, accompanied by your bubbly personality seemed to be missing its usual bubbly aspect.

“Hey,” Gunil looked over at you on your side of his mattress. “I’m gonna grab a snack. Do you want anything?”

You gently shook your head, keeping your focus drawn to anything but Gunil. He let out a soft sigh.

“Honey, what's wrong?” He asked, readjusting on the mattress so he was a little bit closer to you.

“Nothing,” you answered simply.

“Are you sure? You seem awfully quiet today.”

Gunil could always read you like a book. You sighed, “I’m fine.” You still couldn’t meet his gaze.

“Okay,” he stated simply. “I’ll be right back. Don’t miss me too much.” Gunil got up from the mattress and made his way to the door as you finally found yourself cracking a small smile for one of the first times today. No matter what, Gunil always found a way to make you laugh.

Upon his return, Gunil came back into the room with a pack of fruit snacks and two bottles of water. He gave you a gentle smile as he reclaimed his place next to you.

“I brought you a water in case you wanted one,” he offered gently. Wordlessly, you took the bottle from him, cracking it open and taking a drink. “You sure you’re alright? You can talk to me if you want. No pressure, okay?” You nodded, setting your water aside and scooting closer to him. Gunil quickly mimicked your actions, putting his things down as well and opening his arms up to you. You still didn’t say anything once you got comfortable, so Gunil thought he’d get the ball rolling. “Long day?”

You nod in silent agreement, your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck. Another silence fell between you as Gunil let you take a second to speak up if you wanted. After not hearing anything, he decided to speak up again.

“Work or school?”

“School,” you answer. “The semester just started and I already think one of my professors hates me.”

“Why would you think that?” Gunil questioned as one of his hands found its way to the back of your head. He was glad to see his gentle prying was starting to work.

“My English professor yelled at me because I sat in someone else's assigned seat on accident.”

“Really?”

You nodded. “We didn’t have the assigned seats the last time, so how was I supposed to know we were supposed to sit in alphabetical order?”

Gunil shook his head. “Some professors are just like that, my love. I’m sorry he embarrassed you.”

“It’s okay,” you sighed again. “It was just shitty.” Gunil nodded in agreement, and the room grew quiet once more. Gunil kept you close to him as he waited to see if you had anything else to say. “Thank you for listening,” you whispered into the small space between you.

Gunil smiled, “Of course, sunshine.” He gave you a soft kiss on the temple. “It’s no problem at all.”

kim jungsu

Jungsu could tell you had a bad day from the second you greeted him at the door. That familiar sparkle in your eye that he loved seemed to be a little bit faded, and the hus you shared after welcoming him in seemed to lack its usual spark as well. As Jungsu took off his shoes, you made your way over to your couch, flopping down and turning your TV show back on. You felt kinda stupid for inviting him over if you were in such a bad mood, but you really didn’t want to spend your evening alone. Jungsu soon joined you on the couch- flopping down directly on top of you, squeezing him between himself and the cushions.

“What are we watching?” He asked, trying to keep the atmosphere light, in hopes of taking your mind off of whatever was bothering you.

“A show,” you reply, voice steady. That’s when he knew something was up for sure. This wasn’t just any show, it was your favorite show. He had heard you go on many passionate rants about this show over the duration of your relationship, so hearing you refer to it as some sort of lackluster camera work almost appalled him.

“What happened?” He asked simply. You looked down at where his head was lying on your chest. “Something is clearly bothering you. What’s up?” One thing was true about Jungsu, he was your best friend first, your boyfriend second, and a mother of five third. All of these things came together into one big ball of worry, and he just wanted to make sure you were okay.

You shook your head, not really wanting to talk about it. You felt your feelings of embarrassment rise over you again. What was the point of being here if you were gonna be in a bad mood the whole time? You started to beat yourself up over it a little bit and the next thing you knew, warm tears started to spill out over your eyes.

“Hey,” Jungsu sat up now, pulling you up with him. “What’s wrong, honey?” His tone was gentle as he wiped your tears from your cheeks. You shook your head again as a means to try and get him to drop the subject. Jungsu knew you had trouble asking for help when you didn’t feel the best, so he decided not to push it anymore. Instead, he pulled you into a tight hug, squeezing you tight against his chest. You wrapped your arms around him as well, holding him tight and seeking comfort in the way he was holding you.

“It’s alright,” he cooed. “I’m here. You’re alright.”

You continued to cry for a short while, neither of you saying a word. The only sounds that could be heard other than your muffled crying were the sounds of the TV show that you had been using to distract yourself from your bad day. One of Jungsu’s hands ran up and down your back in an attempt to comfort you. After a moment, you had seemed to calm down, pulling away slightly to look up at Jungsu with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize instinctively.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he comforted. “I just want to make sure you feel better.”

kwak jiseok

You and Jiseok had a date planned for tonight, but your day has been anything but good. Work had kicked your ass, and your coworkers seemed to continue to kick you while you were already down. You decided not to tell Jiseok about your terrible day, because you could practically see the excitement radiating off of him when he picked you up at your door.

“Wow,” Jiseok gushed. “You look great. Are you ready to go?” You nodded and mustered up the sweetest smile you could as you took his hand. “How was your day?” he asked.

You shrugged, “Okay,” you lied. “How was rehearsal?” Jiseok began to rattle off about his day, filling you in on his typical work shenanigans. Luckily, his stories for today were pretty long, so you didn’t have to contribute much. While Jiseok’s bubbly personality did a good job at lifting your mood, you couldn’t help but feel the cloud of your bad work day looming over you. Eventually, you reached your destination- a cute new boba place that Jiseok had wanted to take you to. You made your way up to the counter to order, and that was when Jiseok finally noticed that you seemed a little quiet.

“Do you know what you want?” He gently nudged your side with his elbow. You nodded, and he smiled. “What do you want? I’ll order it for you.”

You told Jiseok what you wanted and he ordered your drinks and paid. The two of you waited for your drinks, and you sat down together once they both arrived. Jiseok continued to tell stories and try to ask you questions to get you to open up a bit, but nothing seemed to be working. He could tell that you had a rough day, so he didn’t want to force you to talk about it.

“Hey,” he offered. “Did I ever tell you about the time we all got boba, and Jungsu choked on his drink?”

You cocked your head a little bit. “No?”

“He was okay,” Jiseok continued. “But at one point Gunil started to pat his back and try to help him out. So when Jungsu finally stopped choking he just started to lecture Gunil for hitting him too hard.”

You chuckle at this, being able to perfectly imagine this situation going down in your head. You shake your head slightly, “They really do fight like a married couple.”

“They do!” Jiseok laughed. “I’m surprised Gunil didn’t try to kiss him to make him feel better after.”

At this, you let out your first real laugh of the evening, and Jiseok smiled wide. You finally seemed to be forgetting about your bad day.

“Oh my god,” you laughed. “Do you remember that time Gunil pinched his finger and actually tried to make Jungsu kiss it better?” Your laughter was contagious as Jiseok also recalled the memory. You both continued to talk and laugh as you recalled funny memories back and forth, and soon enough your bad day was completely behind you.

oh seungmin

Seungmin was in your bedroom, scrolling through his socials while you were in the bathroom. You told him that you’d had a bad day with your classes, and simply refused to give any other information aside from, ”It was just a long day.” He’s been here for about an hour, and nothing seemed to make you open up to him yet. He didn't want to force you to talk if you didn’t want to, so he just tried his best to keep the energy light. He’s been online shopping for a little bit, allowing you to pick out some clothes for him or asking for your opinion on some things.

After a while, you came back from the bathroom, and when Seungmin looked up from his phone to see you in the doorway, his heart broke.

“Oh baby…” He sat up, quickly discarding his phone. You made your way over to him with tears on your cheeks. You didn’t even have time to make it to the bed before Seungmin was on his feet and rushing towards you. You were wrapped up in his arms and pulled into his chest. You weakly wrapped your arms around him, letting yourself cry. Seungmin squeezed you tight, trying his best to make you feel comfortable.

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?” He asked after a few moments. You nodded, finally calming down a little bit. Seungmin knew that your major had a heavy workload, so he always tried his best to make sure the stress didn’t get to you. “How about we lay down, hmm?” You nodded into his chest, and then led you over to your mattress. The two of you got comfortable, with you laying your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. His arms stayed wrapped around your waist.

“Do you have class all day tomorrow?” He asked.

“No.”

“Then we should go out tomorrow. We can go wherever you want. I just feel bad that you’re so stressed.”

“It’s okay,” you sniffed.

“Not on my watch.” He let a kiss linger on your hairline. “I can’t let my baby be this stressed out. So give it some thought, and we can do whatever you want, okay?”

You nodded.

“Do you need anything right now?”

You shook your head.

“If you need something just let me know, alright? I love you.”

A small smile formed on your lips. “I love you too.”

han hyeongjun

Typically, you were the one who carried the conversations between you and Hyeongjun on most days. Granted, he was more talkative with you than he was with most other people, but it wasn’t uncommon for you to get the ball rolling.

Your shift had finally ended, so you have decided to pick up some dinner and run it to Hyeongjun at the studio. You figured that even if you had a bad day, maybe you could help make his day a good one. Once you got into the studio, you find Hyeongjun in one of the private practice rooms. Upon seeing you, he smiled.

“Hello,” he beams, setting his guitar to the side.

“Hi,” you smile back. “I brought you some dinner.”

“Thanks,” he gets up to greet you, taking the food from your hands. “How was work?”

You shrug, “Long.” Hyeongjun instantly notices how you’re giving him short answers. He gives you a confused look.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

You shake your head and put down your things, making yourself comfortable on the floor. Hyeongjun decides to join you, taking the spot next to you and distributing all of the food. The two of you mainly eat in silence, other than the occasional short question Hyeongjun would ask. He wasn’t really sure what to do in order to get you to open up. You seemed pretty insistent on keeping whatever was bugging you to yourself, and he didn’t want to intrude. Dinner came and went in silence, and Hyeongjun cleaned up your takeout containers before throwing them away.

“Thank you for dinner, pretty,” he playfully patted your head as he stood to clean up your things. You looked up at him, smiling briefly.

When Hyeongjun returned, he picked up his guitar and made his way back down to the floor next to you. Wordlessly, he began to strum a tune, and you quickly found yourself getting lost in it. It was almost as if the music he played made the stress of your day melt off. After his song ended, Hyeongjun gave you a smile.

“Feeling any better?” He asked.

You nodded and gave him a genuine smile. “Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” he replied, beginning to play a new song for you both.

lee jooyeon

You and Jooyeon were walking from your place to the dorm, enjoying the calm, evening scenery. Gunil was in charge of “family dinner” tonight, and he had told Jooyeon that he should invite you over. The two of you haven’t been dating for very long, but all of the others had seemed to gain a liking towards you rather quickly.

He held your hand as you walked, and he couldn’t help but notice that you seemed to be in your own little world.

“Hey,” he lightly bumped your body into yours. “What are you thinking about?”

You looked up at him. “Nothing much.”

“Oh, come on,” he prompted. “You’ve clearly got something going on in that pretty little head of yours.” You chuckled lightly at his comment. “What’s up?”

“Work sucked today.”

Jooyeon frowned a bit. “You wanna talk about it?”

You shook your head.

“You sure?”

You shook your head again.

“Alright,” he nodded. “I’m here if you change your mind, okay?” He squeezed your hand, causing you to smile quickly- acting as a silent thank you.

After a while, you and Jooyeon had walked past a shop that had speakers playing outside. Jooyeon looked at you and smiled. “I love this song!” You had never heard the song in your life, but that didn’t stop Jooyeon from pretending to serenade you right then and there on the sidewalk- fake microphone and all. He had completely stopped walking, taking a moment to dedicate this performance to you.

You laughed a little bit- partially from his charm, and also partially from embarrassment because you could clearly see the people from inside of the shop looking at the both of you. Laughing, you tugged Jooyeon away from the store.

“What?” He questioned while laughing as well. “Did you not like the show?”

“I loved it,” you beamed. “But the people inside didn’t seem to appreciate your stage presence.”

You both continued to laugh as you made your way to the dorm, where you were met with friendly faces and the smell of good food. As you took off your shoes, you couldn’t help but to absentmindedly hum the song Jooyeon had sang for you, completely forgetting about your bad day.

taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

moonlit company (miorine rembran x reader)

tags: gn!reader

a/n: i always thought my first gundam fic would be about duo because he was my first gundam love but here i am. duo, my beloved, it’ll be your turn eventually.

It was guilt that led to you being Aliyah’s plus one tonight. Her parents were entrusting her to lead. It was bad luck this was the week the rest of your mutual friends were busy. 

Nika was busy helping Martin organize his notes for their shared civil engineering class. Ojelo and Nuko were out of town. Lilique, popular as ever, was on a date with someone who really seemed to be the one according to Aliyah’s most recent reading for her. And Chuchu? Everyone in your group of friends knew that she would rather bite off her tongue than subject herself to being around the wealthy for any amount of time.

Aliyah only gets the pass because her family started from the bottom and clawed their way to higher status. It also helps that you all grew up together, your friend group solidifying your first and second years of high school.

When Aliyah inevitably made her way to asking if you could be her plus one so she wouldn’t entirely be alone at this event, you felt too bad to tell her no. It would be quick, she promised.

I’d literally rather be anywhere else, you groaned quietly into your champagne. Your original Saturday plans had included ignoring your essay you planned to write the morning it was due in favor of watching the newest season of Summertime. But when you saw her, you were glad you took up the offer to tag along 

The woman is gorgeous, dressed in an off the shoulder evening blue dress with matching heels and beautiful pale silver hair pulled back into a bun. Her silver eyes are sharp and she is standing alone, a look of displeasure all over her face.

It’s then that you remember the reading Aliyah gave you a few days ago. “Once you start getting out of the house more, an opportunity for love will rise in an unexpected place,” Aliyah said as she observed the results of her reading. “But I’m seeing it could go either way, this person is a bit hard to get a read on. If it works out, though, things look like they’ll be really good.

If Chuchu had come, you know what she would be telling you in this instant. Something fervently along the lines of ‘eat the rich’, ‘class traitor’ and ‘you aren’t even going to ever see this girl again’. In this moment, you can’t find yourself caring.

She’s beautiful and you want to talk to her, even if she looks like she might try to kill you if you do. Maybe she just has resting bitch face. Or maybe she just wants to be alone. I’ll never find out staying over here though.

Your personal motto in life is simpleー rejection is better than regret. That’s what spurs you to walk from the table you plastered yourself to most of the evening to the one this girl is standing by. “Not a fan of these kinds of events?” You aren’t too surprised when you receive a look of suspicion. From this angle, she almost looks like Weiss Schnee, minus the dope scar.

“I’m not a fan of cesspools where everyone gathers just to brag about their shares and talk about outdated business plans,” Not-Weiss-Schee replies tersely. Yeah, she’s definitely been to one too many of these parties. “And what company are you from?” Despite the question, you can tell that she couldn’t care less about whatever business you’re associated with.

“I’m associated with the Best Friend Company,” there’s no look of recognition in her eyes and you are relieved there really isn’t a Best Friend Company either of you know of. ‘It’s the service where your friend begs you to tag along so they don’t have to be alone and you ditch your plans to stay home and watch Netflix all night. But she’s off talking with someone right now so I’m just sitting back and letting her have fun”

Her guard doesn’t lower but she huffs silently, “so you only sought me out to ease your boredom?”

“Oh no, I love this kind of stuff,” you grin, holding your drink lazily. “Just call me the modern day Lady Whistledown.” You gesture to the rest of the members of the event you’re attending, settling your sights on a woman at random. “See that lady over there? You’re looking at Kiona Brown. She owns a world-famous boutique in Milan but I’m pretty sure no one knows it is actually the base for her underground boxing ring.”

The white-haired woman raises an eyebrow and you aren’t sure if she is simply unimpressed or finds you stupid. “That’s Rasheeda Washington and she owns the largest black-owned software company in the state.”

Wow, I wasn’t even close with that name.

“But the stuff I just made up is still a lot more amusing than truth, right?” You down the rest of your glass with a smile, taking it in stride. At least she didn’t outright tell you to get lost, that’s better than nothing. “So she isn’t from Milan and she isn’t in fashion, but you have to admit that you would have found her a lot more interesting if it turned out she was hosting some type of Fight Club thing no one knew about.” 

You thumb in the direction of some brown-skinned man with long blond hair. “Like that guy. Is he actually some old money douche who thinks he worked hard for what he has? Or is he actually a vampire who decided to go on a world-wide wine tasting tour and is posing as some old money douche because it adds to the experience?”

She tries fighting against it but despite her best efforts, Not-Weiss-Schnee’s lips quirk into a small but visible smile. “I read a book once where the protagonist and his love interest would ride on the bus for hours making up stories about the passengers,” you recall the smell of the pages and the book’s poetic prose. You were so enamored that you eventually began trying it out yourself, making up stories of those who crossed your path and you knew you would never encounter again. “It’s pretty much my secret weapon to surviving parties.”

You nod in the direction a tall gentleman in a suit. He’s handsome with his black and pink hair and a beauty mark under his right eye. “Take that guy for instance,” you begin. “I’ve been calling him Faizan Abdul. He invests in mechanical engineering projects and he is definitely a jock. Probably basketball. But deep down he wants nothing more than to be a househusband of his working woman wife. I mean the cute apron and watching Real Housewives kind of vibe.”

She opens her mouth to protest before she closes it, surprised. “That’s,” she looks at the man who is now talking to a warm-faced woman with red hair and the cutest eyebrows you’ve ever seen. She reminded you of the last puppy of a litter waiting to be adopted, complete with a heart of gold. “a surprisingly accurate description of Guel Jeturk. But Shaddiq Zenelli isn’t old money or a wine-tasting vampire.”

You set your empty glass on the table beside you. “I pride myself on my having a 50/50 chance on being right 100% of the time,” you laugh and you’re pleased when you see the change in your companion’s body language. Her arms are still crossed yet her arms are loose and she is facing you completely.

“Alright,” silver eyes look at you with sharp amusement. “What’s the story you’ve picked out for me?”

“Your story?” You hum, drawling out your answer. “You’re definitely an entrepreneur. One that’s always several steps ahead of the game; that’s why you’re the type of stand in the corner at events. You wanna observe the competition,” maybe she has her basis in engineering as well. No, her foundation certainly lies in business. “And don’t get mad but I’ve been calling you Weiss Schnee for the past five minutes. At least, this is your cover story. I’m going all in that you’re secretly a spy and you’re here to snuff out the bad guys. How close did I get?”

“Pretty off about most of it,” Not-Weiss-Schnee admits, a tint of sadness in her smile. “Weiss Schnee is a lot cooler than Miorine Rembran, I wish I was like her.” There’s a story there but you respect where she finishes it. You don’t know the problems that plague Ms. Miorine Rembran, but you hope that tonight she feels at ease.

“Damn,” you clutch your chest with a faux hiss of pain. “50/50 chance it goes either way 100% of the time.” You click your tongue but you make sure your tone is light. “But whoever Miorine Rembran is, I think she’s a lot cooler than Miorine Rembran is giving her credit for.”

Maybe it’s arrogance or severely estimating your ability to cheer people up, but you think Miorine looks happier ーlighter?ー at your words. “And do I get to know your name now?”

“[First] [Last],” you introduce yourself seamlessly and with a mocking bow. “I kinda got dragged here by a friend. She didn’t want to come by herself. Her parents wanted her to meet some guy name Lauda, I’m here as her backup if the guy turns out to be a creep.” Other than his habit of fiddling with his hair, however, the guy seems decent enough. A bit stiff and overly serious but decent. “She’s over there with the dude who keeps playing with his hair. The sap must be nervous, I don’t blame him. Aliyah’s a total catch.”

“Aliyah Mahvash?”

“Oh you know her?”

Miorine shakes her head, “not personally, I just know of her family.” 

Family.

“Wait,” you say, feeling a new buzz of excitement as Miorine looks at you completely. “I think I recognize your name!” Miorine’s face seems to blanch at your words but the word vomit flows past your lips before you can stop yourself. “You don’t happen to be related to a Nortrette Rembran do you? It might be a long shot but that isn’t a common surname.”

The grimace quickly turns to wide-eyed surprise. “I,” she pauses before quickly collecting her composure. “Yes, she’s my mother.”

“That is so cool,” a wave of nostalgia passes over you. “After watching Jurassic Park I had a phase for a week where I wanted to be a botanist. I remember seeing her name a lot. I even watched a couple of her documentaries. One on the cultivation of tomatoes and another on the histories of other well-known crops.” You always wanted to taste the variety of tomatoes the world-famous botanist produced, but they were too rare. Not to mention expensive. “Never did go into botany but I have a few succulents. What about you? Are you in the field?”

Miorine pushes a stray lock of hair behind her ear, “no, but I garden in my spare time.” She is the most at ease she’s been since you approached her. “I mostly focus on growing her tomatoes but there are other plants I grow too.”

You consider this an invitation to pursue further conversation. “I’ve always wanted to try those,” everyone makes them sound like a gift from the heaven’s. “Do you focus only on growing produce or do you plant flowers too?”

And that is how you fall into a lengthy conversation about Miorine’s greenhouse. Growing her mother’s tomatoes is her pride but she grows a plethora of other thingsー heather, potted hydrangeas and other assorted flora. You’re halfway through a conversation about her attempts to keep a calathea alive with some sort of fungal fertilizer when you notice a persistent movement.

From the corner of your eye, you see Aliyah’s wave. Guess we finally capped at the length of time she’s obligated to be here. “Looks like we’re about to bounce,” you nod in your friend’s direction before turning your gaze back at Miorine. 

“Then you should get going,” Miorine sighs, glowering at as she stares in a particular direction. “It gets more boring from here. Escape while you can.”

You can’t hold back a snicker, “thanks for the warning, we’ll head out then.” Rejection’s better than regret. “But if you still want company so you don’t have to die from boredom, we can swap contact info if you want.”

Miorine practically shoves her phone, unlocked, in your hands. “I would have been really disappointed if after all that you didn’t ask for my number.”

“Maybe I just didn’t want to assume one good chat was an invite to make this more than a one time talk,” you laugh as you type your number in her phone and give yourself a quick ‘Not Weiss Schnee’. Your phone vibrates and you are more than satisfied.

“You don’t get to interrupt my misery and then make a break for it before this party gets unbearable.” Miorine looks at you you sharply, but it isn’t intimidating when her cheeks are flush pink. “I’m expecting you to hold up your end of the deal,” say continues briskly. “Keep me company.”

Who are you to abandon a woman in need of your help? You respond by immediately sending her the most recent meme that made you wheeze at 3 o’clock in the morning. “Prepare for a lot of made up BS about whoever my uber driver is. I’m calling it now that they’re actually a popular idol but they go under disguise as an uber driver in order to get some normalcy in their life.”

A chuckle, light and mellifluous, escapes Miorine’s lips, “let me know about your 50/50 chance of being right 100% of the time then.”

I’m never doubting the cards again. A thought that makes no sense when you never doubted Aliyah’s divination to begin with.

You give Aliyah an inquisitive but amused look when you both settle in the uber, “so? Is that Lauda guy nice?”

Aliyah looks reluctant when she admits, “he wasn’t as bad as I thought he would be. He’s pretty serious but he cares a lot for his family.” There is a strong ‘but I don’t want to tell my parents they were right, the guy they’re trying to set me up with is actually a decent guy.’ “But what about you? I lost track of you for a bit. Who was that you were talking to? I didn’t get a good look at her.”

You grin, grip tightening on your phone, “yeah, pretty sure I just got a date with the prettiest girl in the room.”

Your friend perks up in excitement. It shouldn’t be a surprise for either of you, Aliyah’s readings always come true. “What’s her name?”

“Miorine Rembran,” you answer offhandedly as you see you already received a message from the woman in question, demanding you to not change her contact to Weiss Schnee. You chuckle and quickly reply that she’ll have buy your compliance by agreeing to meet up soon. Dinner and a movie is too awkward and restrictive. ‘You ever been to a cooking class? Because there’s a class I’ve been wanting to take and they let you bring a plus one’ you thumb out onto your screen. “She’s the daughter of Nor-”

“Miorine Rembran.” Aliyah’s eyes look like they’re going to bulge out of her sockets. “Miorine Rembran,” she wheezes. “The only daughter of the president of the Benerit Group?!” 

Your jaw goes slack. The president of the Benerit Group. The guy Chuchu curses vehemently whenever he is on the news.

Your uber driver whips their head at the both of you when they stop at a red light. “You chatted up that Miorine Rembran?!”

[royalberryriku]

Some Thoughts on the 'Writing Process'™

So I see a lot of writers struggle with these very specific things, AKA:

The Staring at the Blank Page Thing where you struggle to come up with ideas, words, etc

The Word Counting Counting where you cannot stop counting your word count

The 'Can Someone ELSE Proofread This Because I Don't Want to Read It' dilemma

The 'How Do I STOP Hating Everything I Write' issue which also leads into the 'How Do I Stop Scrapping Everything' issue

And finally the 'I DONT WANT TO WRITE I WANT TO IMAGINE IT INSTEAD' problem

There are various things that can make writing hard, but I have had some thoughts! And maybe they might just be useful.

So for Issue Number 1, I've found that, if you want to write, NEVER do it before you already have the ideas. Looking at a blank page just makes it harder. You get bored and that makes writing feel boring. Of course, this is all just my opinion, maybe this actually works for you. BUT! In my own personal experience, I find that actually LIMITING how often I open my document helps a bunch. No matter how much you wanna write, there's no point torturing yourself over how little you're doing and shaming or pressuring yourself to get it done. Punishing yourself is just gonna kill your inspiration and, obviously, you're not going to want to write if you now associate it with punishment for not writing. It's a cycle of just being mean to yourself. Well, don't wanna be unproductive? As silly and counterproductive as it sounds; self care is the answer which I've found that actually works.

This actually leads into Issue Number 2. I think these probably stem from the same issue; punishing yourself for not producing. Again, punishing yourself and shaming yourself into just staring at a blank screen or staring at how little the word count is or how much you have to go until your goal is just going to kill your inspiration and make you bored. Shaming doesn't get you to write more, or faster or suddenly become more productive. Believe it or not? Self care and making it fun is what makes a fun story come to life. You're not just writing a block of text that's a recount to sell in this capitalist hellhole (I mean you are but that doesn't mean the process has to be bound by capitalism because FUCK CAPITALISM), you're writing a story you wanna tell; focus on the story before the method and don't punish yourself for it not just magically appearing. These things take time, they take trial, error, mistakes and various drafts, but FIRST? They take those little moments where you just daydream scenes and the imagination you have to exist at all. Focus first on the story and your own health and the rest will come, slowly but surely. Anyway that was a lot of words to essentially just say; don't look at the word count, focus on the story and the length will follow regardless. It's fine to check and obviously, you'll just have to at some point. But please please try and do what you can to avoid checking, even use a different method. I use page count because it's so varied and inaccurate that it actually doesn't matter and just tricks my brain into using that to see my very general progress and makes it seem bigger than it actually is. It also can just be easier to check at a glance if I want to make sure the structure of each chapter is more or less consistent enough.

Issue Number 3 is tricky, mostly because once you've made something, it can be legitimately very boring to reread everything you JUST wrote. For me, I'm sort of chaotic in that I reread as I go or do it very randomly and rewrite as I come up with things. The good thing is though that what you write isn't set in stone. It's malleable and fluid. I always have a cut and paste section on my computer where I just... cut and page and rearrange things as I think of it. I don't worry about "oh but what if I mess up" because you're ALWAYS gonna mess up! That's actually one of the cool things about writing, you CAN mess up and go back and reread it eventually to make it work a bit better after all the other chaotic going-back-and-fixing-things. Which brings me to my main point (especially if you don't want to replicate my chaoticness) I try to leave proofreading itself as much as I can for the end of it all. As in, I just let myself write, yes rearranging and going back whenever I want, but never throwing anything OUT, never scrapping the whole document because it's gonna have bits you might reuse. And more to the point, it gives you a lose skeleton to base your next draft on. It's more work but I find it really reassuring in that you don't judge every little thing as you go, but just say "meh, fuck it!" and write whatever works, then rewrite it in a separate document all over again, never deleting the last one so you can copy and page whatever you liked from the first draft, or second, or third, and use each mistake and flaw. Recycling is good folks, even just in writing. Or... at least it is for me. If this doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for you, but this is just what helps me so maybe it might help you too.

This also goes into Issue Number 4. Honestly, you're never gonna not be your biggest critic. But! You can at least make your work feel a bit more positive and go in with a "eh who cares?" mindset into writing. It may not erase the "wow this is hot garbage" feeling, but it'll feel a bit more like "well this is MY hot garbage and I don't care if it's bad or good, because at least it was fun". Plus, like I said; recycling is very good. The best way to force yourself not to hate something is to get really damn used to it, AKA, never getting rid of it. Which is hard, I know. Especially if you just really freaking hate it. And, well, it's not like I'm saying you should keep absolutely every little thing, I don't want you all to get clutter and folders upon folders of stuff you won't use...buuut I am saying it helps to keep things and get comfortable in your own messiness and imperfection. It starts to feel normal at least, or for me it does, and slowly you kind of just...accept it. Also, making fun little things to enjoy your ideas away from your writing itself. If you draw? Make fanart. Maybe even make AUs in your head. Maybe make some mood boards. HYPE YOURSELF UP! Or as best you can at least, and never force things. If you aren't feeling this particular story right now? Move on to another project and yes having WIPs can be annoying but sometimes it's necessary. Again, these are all just my opinions and stuff I do when I struggle with these; I'm not commanding anyone to do anything and as always, maybe this won't work for you personally. But hey, doesn't hurt to give it a try first and see if it works, or maybe something else will. Whatever the case, this is just my own two cents.

And finally, Number 5. Honestly? This isn't so much as issue in and of itself as much as just an issue of prioritisation. Imagination is the most important part of even coming up with a story to begin with and, honestly, imagining scenes can really help build a mental image of what you want to describe and how things look and feel. One thing, a little cheat code you could say, that I've found is melding daydreaming with research. Which makes absolutely no sense since this is the most funnest part with the most boring part of writing, but hey, it works surprisingly well I assure you. So here's the setup I have; no doc (except for if I really need to jot down some notes), then images that remind me of my work (Pinterest boards maybe, a few mood boards, etc), then the research. I go between each of these; daydreaming. The result? I imagine scenes with the research I want; motifs that work with themes, imagery to use in scenes, what architecture works, what the weapons look like. Then, before I even write, I go back and still daydream WITH what I've researched and it sticks in my mind way better than even the notes I've made. Speaking of, with notes, I like to doodle in the margins of them, make them fun, highlight with fun colours. Sometimes? Research, note taking and writing doesn't have to be work in and of itself, sometimes it can be fun and a little quest of your own. Sometimes making writing and research feel like you're daydreaming can make all the difference between begrudgingly slugging through a chapter, or just having fun writing a new scene you just imagined and that starts to form into something new and exciting.

TLDR: Make writing fun! Like Mary Poppins once said; "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down". Sometimes it's actually better to make the work into a treat instead of using a treat as a bribe or punishing yourself. In fact, making any part of the process into a punishment for not working just makes everything harder.

ALSO! Just in general, take breaks! It's easy to forget what you're doing (especially once it becomes fun) and forget to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Too much time looking at a screen (or even just a page) can be straining! Remember to eat! Remember to drink water and sleep! Get up and walk around if you can, go to the bathroom and maybe even go for a little walk outside and get some Vitamin D if you're able to. Remember to maybe take a few days away from writing so you can come at it again with a refreshed mind and new perspective, sometimes you can get boggled down and start getting too focused on one little thing. It's good to let yourself have half an hour, an hour or even a few days to just refresh and go out and get new inspiration just from living. Sometimes the key to writing and ideas is to just stop writing for a bit and to just take a breath.

[totallyexhausted]

No Title Yet

Snippet of the Hirano sickfic with his parents that i promised and am NOW working on.... along with the Kagi one where he calls Hirano to ask him to come get him.... basically i need motivation and to force myself through his writer's block so, pleasssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee halp....

...

“Are you sure you feel okay, sweetheart?”

“Hm. Yeah, sorry… just tired,” Hirano said softly, glancing down at his meal, picking through the contents slowly. He normally loved his mother’s cooking, but right now, right now, Hirano was sure if he put anything else in his stomach, despite the minuscule amounts he’d eaten, he’d vomit. And vomiting wasn’t something he wanted to do – his parents had been looking forward to him visiting, his father taking off work in order to spend time with him; they had plans, things to do… and ruining that by getting sick… well, that would just make the teenager feel like a bad son.

            But it was getting harder now. So fucking hard to concentrate, to see the food on the table clearly, or keep his head up. Everything felt way too hot; and even though the 17-year-old planned on excusing himself to turn in earlier for the night to fight off whatever the hell was wrong with him, he was pretty sure he was reaching the point where he’d no longer be able to stand properly. Everything felt like jelly; weak and shaky… his stomach in his throat every time he caught a glimpse of the food in front of him clearly. His head killing him, the bright lights hanging over the table piercing his eyes. Everything was spinning.

            Hirano groaned, dropping his head against his hand, closing his eyes briefly as his mother asked him something. Something moved to his right before a firm hand pressed against his cheek, sweeping over his forehead, brushing the bangs away from his face. Hirano groaned again as the cool touch wiped at the dampness across his forehead, and he felt the chopsticks slip through his fingers. He tried opening his eyes again, but the second they met the harsh lights above, the teenager clenched them shut, breathing lowly as someone pulled him back.

            “Taiga,” His father’s voice gentle against his ear as more things were shuffled and another hand ghosted across his forehead. His mother’s voice suddenly next to him, her hand running through his hair, “Sweetheart, you’re ill…”

            Hirano shook his head slowly, the movement jarring and difficult, as an arm braced behind his shoulders, a hand on his chest, pulling him up slowly. The teenager groaned as everything shifted, “M’f’ne…”

            Everything was hot. Nauseating and dizzy. The environment was moving around him behind closed lids, and Hirano forced them open as his father called him again. The moment light touched his eyes, the 17-year-old gagged roughly, having no warning before lurching forward, vomit spewing from his mouth as he struggled to remain upright. Whatever happened next was a giant blur. Nauseating and hot… everything felt wet and gross… and the smell was enough to make him gag.

            He wasn’t entirely aware of where he was until his head smacked against his father’s shoulder, a wet rag pressed against his forehead, another on the back of his neck. He felt warm water wash over his back, the smell of soap hitting his nostrils, and the 17-year-old whimpered. Soft fingers running through his hair, more water running across his back, and the sound of his mother humming softly.

             A calloused hand removing the rag from his neck before replacing it a minute later, and Hirano opened his eyes slowly as his head was tilted back gently, warm water poured over his hair. He squinted as the bathroom tile met him, bright and painful. He glanced towards his father, leaning over the bathtub… (puking in bathtub.)

“It’s alright, Taiga. It’s alright, son. Your mother and I will clean you up… you’re okay. Just get it up, Tai.”

            Tai. A nickname Hirano only heard when his father was worried about him. One that the teenager had come to associate with the idea that something was wrong...

Basically Hirano gets WRECKED, and we learn where Hirano gets his caring side.

Then with Kagi, Kagi gets really ill, and Hirano takes care of his sweet Kouhai... until he takes him to the hospital.... Snippet below:

...Since Kagiura came from a big family, he was probably used to having someone stay or sit with him while sick… Hirano always wanted to be alone when sick, but he never minded if someone was in the same room either. Whenever he felt really bad, he’d fall asleep to his mother holding his hand and stroking his hair or his father rubbing his back softly. But that had only happened a few times, the last being a year ago when he got really ill while visiting his parents over break. They wound up taking him to the hospital, and Hirano’s pretty sure he remembered puking in their car, and his parents bathing him at one point. Not really something the teenager tried to remember given how horrible he felt and how much he scared his parents...

The same feeling washed over Hirano as Kagiura grabbed at his shirt, threading his fingers through the material slowly. The older swallowed, pulling Kagiura closer as the younger groaned, his head smacking against Hirano’s chest.

The same protectiveness Hirano felt earlier. The need to shield him from the bystanders at the station, or the on-lookers on the train, or the people passing by the convenient store… the same feeling now, wanting to hold him close, and protect him from a sickness the older couldn’t prevent or from anyone who might barge into their dorm room. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant feeling, almost like panicked anger… but it wasn’t one Hirano really wanted to go away. Not right now. Not when Kagiura was relying on him in more ways than one...

“You’re rather good at taking care of people it seems, Hirano,”

“Shut up, Hanzawa. Kagiura! I need you to open your eyes and look at me.”

“H’no?”

“Hey, yeah. It’s me.”

“…S’hot…”

“I know. Hanzawa and I are gunna take you to the hospital. Your fever’s really high, Kagi-kun.”

“Such a sweet little nickname-”

“Are you going to help or are you just gunna talk all night? Grab his jacket, will you?”

“Kagi, I’m gunna help you up, okay?”

The younger groaned as Hirano moved his arm around his shoulders gently, pulling him in a sitting position, Kagiura’s head smacking against the older’s chest. He gagged roughly, spit trailing from his mouth along with the pitiful amount of water Hirano had gotten him to drink. (pukes on bedsheets - Hanzawa changes them while they are out).

“You’re okay, Kagi-kun… It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”  

(Hirano cleans him up as Kagi clings to him)

Kagi - “…dn’t… feel w-well.”

“I know. When we get to the hospital, you’ll start to feel a lot better, okay? I-I promise, Akira.”

[cg-saturn]

as someone with a hard time voluntarily regressing, do you have advice?

the last time i tried it took me three hours and five coloring pages and a whole season of bluey </3

all the websites i looked at were like "get your paci" a=but i don't have any gear to make me feel small

Hey kiddo!

I know it can be hard to regress sometimes for whatever reason- maybe you've been too stressed, too busy, or just having a little block the same way artists or writers sometimes have. But I promise, you are still a valid little even if you struggle with regression at times.

Regression can come in so many different ways for people that it can be hard to give a definitive answer of how to make regression easier for you specifically, but I do know for some people who don't have the ability to own gear for any reason (living or financial situations) it can be even harder. So Star and I decided to come up with a little list of activities that can help with both! If anyone has any ideas or questions, please reblog and we'll add/answer what we can!

For kiddos who don't have gear because of living situations-

Legos- these are a great toys that can be bought in "adult" type sets, and many people don't question having Legos as a hobby no matter what age you are! Make yourself a little castle, or your own creations!

Magnets- I've always loved playing with magnets! You can get packs of bead magnets for fidgits and sounds, or even just play with the invisible force between two refrigerator magnets!

Playdough/slime - you can buy it or look up some easy at home recipes! Make it your favorite color, and add some glitter or beads to it for a textured play!

Tangles/figdgit toys- I've always loved fidgit toys, but some of them can secretly act as chewies/pacis too depending on textures!

Childhood movies- now that streaming is more avalible, it's pretty easy to access some movies from our childhoods! Personally I love the old animation of Disney movies, but there's also Scooby-Doo and all sorts of other cartoon network shows on hbo and Netflix!

Stuffie party- gather all of your pals and make a big circle on your bed or the floor, and enjoy their company! Ask them about their days, what did they get up to while you were out?

Kids apps- im planning to make a larger post about these in the future, but there are tons of apps that can help the regression process, and it's easier to hide if you're scared of people finding out.

Agere blogs- this one is kind of silly, but I think sometimes it can help a lot to scroll through some blogs that post outfit boards and soft little things! It can help to know you're not alone in your regression too, and maybe you can meet some friends who will help you in the future!

For kiddos who don't have gear because of financials-

Baby Einstein YouTube- if you don't remember Baby Einstein, it used to be a DVD series on learning for kids! They've moved to YouTube, and you can listen to various songs and watch different shapes and colors, it's very relaxing! You can do the same with clips from shows like sesame street.

Tell a story / madlibs- making things up and being creative is a great way to open your little mind. Telling a story about the unicorn who lives in the woods, or making up a silly madlib about the purple horse who jumped the tree. Make up the silliest story you can, don't worry about it making any sense, that's the whole fun of it!

Kids music- you can find playlists on YouTube and spotify for kids music! You can go from instrumental to learning songs like "wheels on the bus"!

Play with textures- at work we have sensory buckets for the kids. Put sand or rice or glitter in a bowl, mix in some beads, bells, cotton balls, or whatever other fun textured things you have around. Just put your hands in it and explore! Take time to touch every texture, try to focus on objects like it was your very first time seeing it!

Blanket fort- take the pillows off the couch, move your kitchen chairs around, take off your sheet if you need to! Make yourself a little oasis, snuggle up, and enjoy the small feelings!

I spy / where's Waldo games- you can play with books, apps, or even just with a friend in real life! I love to play with Star, it puts them in little space almost immediately as they frantically search for "something orange"!

Wear mismatched clothes- I've always believed that matching socks are bad luck in general, but I also think there's something about not having high fashion can help regression tons! Don't worry about the stereotypes of pigtails and overalls, wear those silly leggings and the oversized t-shirt with holes in it! Wear a sock up to your knee and one down to your ankle if that's what feels right! Clothes deserve to be a comfortable reflection of how you feel!

Remember, Littlespace is just like any other mindset. It doesn't matter what you do or don't have, as long as you're enjoying some childlike wonder again. You're just a lil kiddo! That's all it comes down to. Remind yourself that you're valid for healing your inner child and letting yourself enjoy things, you deserve to be a little angel again. Do things just because you want to, just because you're curious, just because it looks good, soft, whatever. Being a kid is learning everything for what feels like the first time no matter how many times you've learned it before. You deserve to experience things for the first time again, to relax, and to heal.

Sending love and always wishing you the best!

Pippi Saturn 💕

[ohgaylor]

Regarding his struggle with depression and writer’s block, Matt Berninger details how the inspiration for Your Mind is Not Your Friend came quite literally from the first two pages of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein:

When I feel stuck, I’ll often grab a book off the shelf just to get some words in my head, and the first two pages of Frankenstein ended up triggering the song ‘Your Mind Is Not Your Friend. The book starts off with the narrator on a voyage near the Arctic Circle, and that image of being adrift helped me to write about feeling disconnected and lost and lacking in purpose. Once I started confronting that strange, blurry panic of not having ideas, everything began to crack open a bit.

Danielle Haim about Now I’m In It:

now i’m in it is about going through it. a depression. not leaving the house type of shit. for my sisters and i, there have been times in our lives where we have felt like we are stuck in a dark hole. the track is chaotic- like my mind when i’m spiraling. fast-talking to myself- words jumbled up. heartbeat racing. these times are hard to forget and even harder to work through. after being constantly on the go the past couple years, i didn’t wanna stop and deal with some shit. also every day my sisters and i feel so fucking lucky that we get to do this for a living! it seemed like stopping and dealing with these emotions would be letting everyone down. but every time I’ve been depressed- it takes me accepting that I need help, to start to get out of it. it’s gotten a little easier as i have gotten older to recognize the symptoms and remind myself that when this happens, i need to seek help. (shout out to my therapist!!) anyway, we all know it’s important to talk about this stuff. this one poured out of us. take care of yourself. be nice to yourself. and thank the ones around you that help u everyday. hope this helps anyone who is in it right now

[crosbyism]

Fic Writers Q & A

tagged by @dadvans (like a fortnight ago, lol my bad bud, thank u boo)

How many wips do you have currently? like 9, and actively working on about two. fucking r i p, my writer’s block is absolutely taking me out back to the glue factory right now.

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish? Why do you think that is? I’ve been struggling with creative block for a while, so everything is hard right now. But for sure the ones that are hardest are the ones I’ve made the least progress on— where I love the idea and have written some scant words but maybe haven’t found the voice or the sticking points. It’s really important to me to find an emotional core while I’m writing. Sometimes that manifests as a certain atmospheric vibe given by the POV character’s emotional state bleeding into the narration (see nuts and bolts and the low tide), sometimes that’s a very concrete topic or discussion that the fic is centered around (like who can grow me), and sometimes it’s just about hitting the right narrative voice. In Pornstache and the Dogg, that sort of narrational style that’s (comedically) commenting on the events as if from after-the-fact (“It wouldn’t have happened the way it did…”; “And if it weren’t… then Nate would never ask…”; “That’s how Nate ends up…”)— I slid into that almost right away. Although it took quite a while, it was really smooth going from start to finish, and I think I even wrote it chronologically (which is unusual for me) because getting into the flow of that voice propelled me on really well. I think of it like a river: if the established current (=narrative voice, emotional core) is really strong, it’s a lot easier for me to just ride that current and let it take me where I need to go. So when I don’t have that, or am still trying to find it, that’s really hard. It’s why long-ish fic is really hard for me, because I’ll have an idea that I can plan out, that’s easy to sort of map plot points out for, but then the actual writing process is really hard because while I know what needs to happen, actually finding the voice for the story around it beomes a challenge. For me, doing it the other way around is much easier, because rearranging plot points or dialogue is very easy and natural for me if the groove of the narrative voice is well-established for me to slip into. It’s why I think of myself as more of an editor than a writer, because I find it a lot easier to rearrange my writing in order to get to a satisfying emotional ending— which is, to me, the whole point of writing.

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you? It looks very random, haha. No rhyme or reason whatsoever, very mercurial lightning-in-a-bottle type shit, which makes it harder to capture. I do actually get boosted creatively a lot by spitballing with friends (most notably dadvans, who really lights my fuse like no one else), but other than that it’s unfortunately hard-to-plan, haha.

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different? For a lot of fics, yeah, but not for every fic. what’s much more common is that I’ll curate either a ship playlist or a playlist for a certain mood or atmosphere, and it’ll get me in the right mindset to write e.g. a creepy scene; a sex scene; shenaniganery; etc. It’s all about mood-setting, for me.

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized? I think of it as writing as I go like 90% of the time, but I don’t think that’s exactly true. It’s funny bc I always have certain beats I wanna hit for sure or plans that have evolved by midway through writing. That’s true for smut as much as for anything else. For smut it can be sex acts or sexually motor-revving moments for the characters (which, to me, is always emotionally significant), but mostly it’s an emotional beat. But it can work out to be structural elements too! For example for who can grow me I knew that the logical ending of the fic was the end of the weekend, and I’d already written and conceptualised the conversations that needed to happen within the fic/timespan of the weekend, so I ended up making a timeline midway through the process to more concretely figure out what conversation needed to happen when, so that it’s sort of “all ticked off the checklist” by the time they leave the cabin at the end of the fic. After scribbling down a timeline and planning it all out, it became clear that the last scene didn’t need to happen right before they left and that I didn’t need to make them leaving the cabin a part of the fic at all, since it was more important that it should happen the morning after The Big Emotional Talk. So I MacGyver’d it into the final scene happening on the second to last day, as they’re going out for a little hike. Because for the emotional beat, it was more important for Matthew to finally ask for something from his brother, trust him in that way, and for Brady to be able to give it to him, to sort of reforge the trust and emotional connection. So that ended up being a change made through logistical planning. What that did mean is that an easter egg that I planned fell through (Brady and Matthew were going to meet the mysterious owner of the cabin coming in as they’re going out, and sort of lift the minor mystery of who the cabin even belongs to), but since the emotional story was more important, it was a cut I was pretty happy to make.

tagging: @crosmack @imafriendlydalek @plethoriall bc i’m curious (no pressure tho buds ❤️) and anyone else who wants to. talking about this was actually really fun!

[charmsandtealeaves]

Fic Author Self Rec!

Thanks for the tag @cersxisbitch! I'm finally getting around to looking at all the things I've been tagged in while lost in the world of interview prep & illness.

When you get this, reply with your 5 favourite fics that you've written. Then pass it on to five other writers. Spread some self love.

I'll list mine in no particular order and with reasons why they're my favourite. 1. Brown Boots & Breakfast Bagels | 34k complete, Rated M, Jily AU

Lily’s love life was a tragedy of epic proportions and she had no brilliant strategy. But a chance encounter ends in a one night stand that blows her mind and leaves her wanting more. There’s just one problem… she doesn’t even know his name.

I hate a love/hate relationship with this fic. Stats wise it's my most popular and when I started writing and publishing I really enjoyed it. But as time passed I hit a bit of a writer's block and struggled to finish it - by the time I did I didn't like it much. But maybe that's just because I'm disappointed in myself with it?

2. Ties That Bind | 21k complete, Rated T, Jily soulmates AU

Lily Evans grew up with old wives tales about soul mates, but she'd never put much stock in the idea. Not until after she learned about the world of magic and the fact that soul bonds were a thing that actually existed. Which makes these strange new feelings and experiences that much more difficult to manage.

I wrote this one for March jilychallenge 2023. I'd never so much as read a soul mates AU before let alone written one, so it truly was a challenge. I was so nervous about it, but this fic was very positively received and it has some of my favourite comments on it.

3. Stripped Back To Basics | 11k complete, Rated M, Jily AU

In which Petunia probably regrets telling Lily to "put herself out there." Or: A Jily "Naked Attraction" AU

This one was my first ever collaborative fic with the forever wonderful @athenasparrow. Not only was working on this fic together an absolute joy - so was the feedback. Yes! Naked Attraction is an actual TV show filmed in the UK (and its broadcast in both Australia and New Zealand). I watched far too many episodes in order to get the feel of the fic just right compared to the real show.

4. Wake Me Up (When September Ends) | WIP, Rated M, Jily

Growing up is hard. Learning to love and be loved is even harder. What starts with a chance encounter shakes Lily Evans life up big time, just in time for her final year at Hogwarts.

I first started writing this fic over ten years ago. And this is my second time trying to finish it. So this one means a lot to me. There's a lot already pre-written and in need of editing and I'm still actively working on it. But I'm trying not to put pressure on myself about it like i did with BB&BB - I got sick and so my update schedule kinda went out the window and I'm not in the updating headspace for this particular fic right now. BUT I WILL FINISH IT.

5. Call Me By Name | WIP, Rated E, Jily AU

After a not-so-great breakup with a not-so-great boyfriend, Lily comes to the conclusion that if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. Whether mechanically, hydraulically, or auditorily? She WILL find the key to that currently unreachable pleasure.

Very actively being published. I started writing this idea in my flu meds induced fugue state. Didn't intend to publish it but people in the jilymicros discord were very encouraging about it and I'm so glad they were. It's been so fun to write and the reaction has me dying. Writing fic has never felt this good!

Tagging: @athenasparrow , @kay-elle-cee , @annabtg, @missgryffin & @mppmaraudergirl