#writing these prompts down and getting ideas and whatnot took longer than i wanted

[classicdaisycalico]

Im here for the most recent ask prompt. I didn't understand if we have to tell you a pair, but I will say #1 and #15 with shadouge

Short fic challenge

Anon I will do ANYTHING to liven up the Shadouge tag so HERE WE GO.

1. "A conversation you wish had happened in canon"

***

With the sheer brawn of Iblis and the devilish cunning of Mephiles, Solaris was the biggest challenge anyone on the side of good had yet to face. Without a doubt, the Emeralds were needed here. Sonic was needed here.

But he was dead...or so it seemed.

Elise mentioned something about sensing his presence in the wind, a sort of wishful justification that somehow the blue hedgehog was only mostly dead. Admittedly, Shadow would have been lying if he hadn't thought the same. That faker had a fighting spirit that could last as long as the ultimate life form himself could exist. Without that kind of motivation, any fight against Solaris would be for naught. Gathering the seven Chaos Emeralds, then, was the only right thing to do.

Somehow everyone had managed to pull through on this feat, and in record time, apparently. Granted, the destruction of time and space itself may have been a factor, but the speed at which the gems had been obtained was astounding, nevertheless. How ironic, Shadow thought to himself, that this process had been slower while the blue blur had been alive. Perhaps a well-timed nod to the idea after Sonic was brought back could give him the motivation to stay focused on the matter a little better.

Still, that would only happen if the revival was a success.

"Think it'll work?"

A voice next to him interrupted his train of thought. He turned and found Rouge standing at his side. "I don't see why not," he said. "The Chaos Emeralds had a hand in giving me life. They should have no issue in giving Sonic his back."

The black hedgehog couldn't help but feel his muzzle heat up when he realized how close the two of them were standing. It hadn't even been the first time the distance between them was this small. It was since that fateful day by the sea that he became more cognizant of the idea.

He remembered that day like it was yesterday. It was the same day he had been told of what was to come for him and Omega, their faithful E-series robot companion, in the future. It was that same member of Team Dark, in fact, who would betray him and seal him into stasis forever, after everyone else in the world turned against him.

Everyone except Rouge, who rescued him from stasis in Eggman's base, who saved his life on several other occasions, who had worked with him to defeat his own biological father and his alien offspring permanently. Through all the light and dark he had suffered, she had been by his side the whole time.

She would make that same point again that very day. The words echoed in his mind, over and over again, like a broken record:

"Shadow...even if you believe everyone in the world will be against you...know that I'll always be by your side. Remember that..."

He wasn't wrong when he said "I will". Until now, no one else in recent memory would stand by someone whose past was so painful, someone whose memory had been tampered with one time too many, someone who was abused to the point of distrusting everyone around him, someone whose path to recovery was like navigating a minefield. Anyone else who said this to him would have him wonder if they meant such a promise.

And yet, he believed her every word. At least, with her, he never had to doubt anything. He never had to second-guess himself. Recovering from his past never scared her away.

Shadow respected that. He respected her, and he trusted her. For him to hold anyone in such a high regard was not something that was given freely.

Still, "respect" and "trust" didn't feel like enough to describe what he felt.

He recalled a conversation long ago with Maria on the ARK, where she once explained to him the concept of love. For a 12-year old girl, her response was surprisingly mature. According to her, she knew someone loved another if they prioritized that person's else's needs before their own in times of trouble.

She was absolutely correct. Between her, Shadow, and Gerald, her definition checked off all the right boxes. Maria was family, after all; of course he and Gerald loved her.

He had also come to learn that Rouge checked off all those boxes, too. Of course, the only context Shadow knew of this kind of love was family. This bat was not family, not in the way he was used to.

But he still loved her.

He looked over at Amy, wringing her hands together while trying to hold back tears as Elise lay the Emeralds in a circle around Sonic. As much as Shadow couldn't seem to believe it, maybe the pink hedgehog was onto something. Perhaps whatever she felt for her blue hero, he felt for the spy next to him. The idea held water very well; there was probably no other way to describe it.

Elise was now lying next to Sonic in the middle of the Emeralds, which began to glow. All the while, the ultimate life form let his fingers brush against those of his ally. As it turned out, these newfound feelings had given way to something else on his mind. "Rouge."

The partner in question turned and faced him. "Yes?"

"He can't fight this alone."

She blinked, feeling his hand grasp hers. "What are you saying?"

"Solaris may well be the biggest threat we've ever seen. Sonic cannot face it alone."

Rouge's eyes widened. "So you're joining him?"

"Silver, too," Shadow replied. "And even among the three of us, our efforts may not be enough."

The Emeralds were floating now, revolving around Sonic's body. Only one scenario involved the gems acting this way. If he was to help the faker, this was the way to do it, but before he could join him, there was one last thing left to do.

He turned to face Rouge. "People may die tonight," he answered. "And if I should be one of them–"

"Shadow, we know that's impossible–"

"If I should be one of them..." he resumed, harshly, before taking a calmer breath to compose himself. "You said you would stay by my side no matter what. Is that right?"

She nodded slowly. "Absolutely."

He took another slow breath, reaching for the limiters on his wrists. "If I should live after this battle...find me."

He removed them, while Rouge could only watch in dismay. "Shadow–"

He urgently placed the limiters in her hands. "Find me," he repeated, and sighed, shaking his head. "If only I told you sooner..."

There was a sternness in her voice now as she heard the serious tone in his. "Tell me what?"

Looking at her, Shadow could see up close just how many small features of her he never paid attention to, like how her snow-white hair curled slightly at the ends. Like how her eyes were a perfect mixture of blue and green. Like how her skin somehow miraculously remained untouched by battle scars no matter how many fights she found herself in.

He chose to set himself up for this. There was no turning back now. Taking one last look at his ally, the hedgehog shut his eyes and pressed his lips to hers.

He could feel her gasp in surprise, but that was irrelevant. What mattered was that she needed to know how he felt about her before it was too late.

Before he knew it, the spy was kissing him back. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, reassured that her feelings were mutual. After all, her promise was as good as binding. Was that not a declaration of love by itself?

On any other occasion, he would have gladly taken his time with this kiss. He could have deepened it, ran his fingers through her hair, lightly stroked her velvety wings, let his hands venture down her back and along her hips and up again, mold the sharp edges of his own figure into the softer curves of hers until there was no space between them at all. Call it the territorial instincts of his Black Arms DNA, perhaps.

Take that, Knuckles.

But there was still a war going on, and he still had a role in it.

They pulled away as slowly as time would allow, their eyes only half open and gazing longingly into the other's. Their foreheads were still touching, along with the tips of their noses. One of his hands still clung to hers, fingers laced together. He could hear her taking slow, steady breaths, stark contrast to the rapid pulse of her heart. Who could blame her? She was caught horrendously off-guard. "What did you want to tell me, Shadow?"

He wanted to tell her. Badly. But all he could do was gently nuzzle the side of her face. "There's no time."

"You can't just–"

Rouge found herself holding Shadow's limiters against her chest, but there was no Shadow standing in front of her. Instead, she looked up and saw him slowly backing away, the ghost of regret clouding his eyes. "What are you doing?"

He shook his head, feeling a part of his heart ache as the distance between them increased. "I'm sorry."

The ultimate life form turned on his heel and ran towards the Chaos Emeralds, now rapidly rotating around Sonic. His only focus now was joining the blue blur and destroying Solaris for good.

He had to survive. Only then, could he find his ally and let her know the three words that echoed through his mind, but never found the right time and place to say out loud:

"I love you."

***

OKAY NOW FOR THE OTHER ONE LET'S DO THIS

***

15. "The scene that will give you, personally, the most joy."

***

The sun was going down, illuminating the sky with brilliant shades of orange and gold fading into red. Dusk would soon be near, which meant nightfall was not far behind.

Being a bat, a night creature, Rouge thrived during this time of day. Still, that didn't mean she couldn't slow down and appreciate the beauty that this sunset had to offer. It almost made her forget the rest of her surroundings, like the tree attached to the thick branch on which she stood.

Upon suddenly seeing Shadow pop up next to her, she yelped in shock. "Don't do that! You scared me half to death!"

"Rouge, I have a question."

There it was, the perfect opportunity to ask her about what was on his mind, about how it was always around Rouge that he found himself trying to keep a cool head a little more than needed. It was her that made his face flush a deeper red than the streaks in his quills. It was her who made his heart beat faster than he could run. It was her that caught every man's eye in a way so tantalizing that he felt a need to tell them all to back off.

Tantalizing...like the many gems she chased after. Her eyes were like turquoise, her lips like amethyst, her black catsuit like onyx, her hair like pearls. Who was she to talk about the mysterious brilliance of a Chaos Emerald when she herself was right there before his eyes? And just like a diamond, her personality was just as multifaceted. On one hand, she appeared cold and cruel, calculating and cunning. On the other, she showed a caring and compassionate side, a side she showed to no one else but him. She was everything a jewel could ever be: hard to find and even harder to obtain, but so beautiful one couldn't help but get drawn in.

In fact, he'd been drawn in for so long, he nearly forgot he had a question to ask. "...When was the last time you ever really got to see the world?"

The bat was slightly taken aback by this question. "I–"

"And not because of some jewel heist, either. I mean...REALLY seeing the world."

She sat down on the tree branch, now much deeper in thought. "I...don't know. Probably...never? Why?"

The hedgehog sat down next to her. "Because it's come to my attention that I never have, either." He smoothed some stray quills back, a tell-tale sign of the nervousness he harbored around her. "To be honest...I was wondering–"

"Of course I'll come with you."

He froze. "How did you know?"

She shrugged. "Lucky guess. Besides," she added, reaching for his hand. "It's what she would have wanted for you. Besides, with Eggy out of commission for good, you've got nothing but time to do it."

He knew immediately which "she" the spy referred to: Maria, his surrogate sister from long ago, whose wish to see the world had never been realized. He also knew Rouge wasn't wrong about Eggman, either. He was gone. Completely. Nothing could restrain Shadow, limit him, make him doubt himself and his decisions.

He was, for all intents and purposes...free. And Rouge wanted to fly in that freedom with him. She helped him find it, after all.

A smile slowly spread across his face. "Then why wait?"

He grabbed her wrist, ready to venture forth, until he realized what was under her hand was not her wrist. It felt loose. Round. Like a piece of jewelry, no doubt. "Rouge...what is that?"

The ultimate life form could see her pause, her muzzle turning bright pink as she searched for words. "...It was from a long time ago," she answered. "I meant to tell you earlier today, but I forgot."

He tilted his head to the side. "Care to show me?"

She took a deep breath, and slowly slid down part of her glove from her elbow down to her wrist. He gasped as he realized what it was he felt: on her wrist was one of his inhibitor rings. "Is that–"

"Yeah," she answered, sheepishly, trying to avoid his eyes.

"How...?" was all he could ask. "When did you–"

"Since the ARK. When you fell from space back down to Mobius. Sonic found it...he gave it to me when I asked you where you went."

The bat looked back up. "Everyone thought you were dead, but something told me I would find you again...and I did. But you lost your memory, and between all those androids, and the Black Arms, and Gemerl, and even beyond that..."

Her voice trailed off. She almost sounded shameful when she explained it, but Shadow didn't care. He could only stare back at her in wonder. "You wore it this whole time?"

She nodded. "I'd say it's more important than any jewel I've ever found. I value it."

The bat looked up at the hedgehog, the uncertainty in her eyes dissipating. "And I value the hedgehog that came with it just as much, if not more."

He was speechless. Even if she didn't say the exact words he expected her to, her intent was clear: she loved him.

And his feelings were certainly more than mutual. "Rouge...I–"

He was cut off when she reached up to kiss him. This wasn't just a flirty little peck on the cheek, however. This was a real kiss, one that represented all the pent-up passion and emotion finally coming out.

It was here that Shadow realized Rouge was not completely jewel-like. Jewels were hard, but her lips were soft against his. Jewels were angular and severe, nothing like the gentle curve of her waist. Jewels were sharp, unlike the smoothness of her skin and her hair.

No. There was not a single gem on the planet that could replicate this.

They broke apart almost reluctantly, but nothing could stop them from smiling. It was an unusual feeling for Shadow to experience, but it made sense that it was Rouge alone who could make it feel less strange.

He felt the spy nuzzle against his shoulder. "Where to now, ally?"

The hedgehog couldn't help chuckling. He called her "ally" as far back as when they found Emerl. It was the closest thing to a nickname he was comfortable calling her. "You're more familiar with this world than I am. You tell me."

She looked back up at him. "I hear Spagonia is nice this time of year. Might take us a while to get there, though..."

"Are you sure?" He reached from behind his quills and brought out a Chaos Emerald. "Just in time to watch the sunrise."

His hold around her waist secured itself further. "Ready when you are."

She was grinning from ear to ear. "Let's get moving."

He held up the Emerald in the air, effortlessly uttering the words, "Chaos Control!"

Together, in a brilliant flash of light, they disappeared as the sun sank down over the horizon, awaiting a new day in Spagonia, a new day that would usher in a new era in their lives, one full of adventure, freedom, and most importantly, one where they finally found peace.

[jawabear]

Hello! I have a writing request 🥺 for Javi (Narcos). Can Y/n be a forensic psychiatrist, so Javi's coworker, but like from a different branch in the DEA. And can they be sort of friends, but you know, with the soft fuzzy feelings of something more than friendship. Oh, and if it isn't too much, could you include prompt 110? I'd like some fluff, maybe with some angst in the beginning. I read "Flowers' and I really liked it, so maybe that kind of vibe. Thank you already and happy holidays! 🥺

One Visit (Javier Peña X Reader)

Not my GIF

A/N: I apologise for taking so long in writing this Anon. It was a challenge but I really enjoyed writing it. I hope I managed to write something close to what you requested or at least something you can enjoy. I got a little carried away so it’s a bit longer that I originally intended. I took it that the prompt you meant was from my prompt list but I apologise if not. Thank you for requesting! It was an interesting request and I’m glad you like my other story Flowers. That’s one of my favourites. Italics represent thoughts and flashback (I hope you’re able to figure out which is which). I hope you enjoy it. Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe.

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Fem!Reader, drinking, smoking, Javi struggling with his feelings, Steve being annoying, talks of death

Summary: One visit. That’s all it took for him to remember his feelings for her.

“All I’m saying, Javi, is that it wouldn’t hurt to just try dating” Steve reiterate for his friend as they walked through the halls of the DEA office on their way outside.

This was all Steve had been going on about for the past two week. Javi getting a girlfriend. It wasn’t really that Javier was against getting a girlfriend. He just didn’t think he deserved one. Nor did he think he was boyfriend material. But he really didn’t know why Steve was all of a sudden hell bent on finding him a girl.

“Is there really no in you like?”

“I really have no idea what your obsession is with finding me a date, but can you stop?” Javi sighed.

Finally they made it outside and Javi was thankful to get some fresh air after being stuck inside all day which was really the only reason they had come outside in the first place. But as they were there, they both decided to light up a cigarette.

A little while into their smoke, a car pulled up outside the DEA building drawing both agents’ attention. From out of the back of the sleek black car came a girl. She pulled a bag from the car and swung it over her shoulder. She said something to the driver and gave him a smile before closing the car door and turning towards the building.

“Holy shit” Javi whispered as he threw his cigarette to the floor and stubbed it out with his foot.

Steve noticed the way Javi’s eyes never left her as she walked over to him. She smiled and waved to him and he gave an acknowledge nod and a quick and nervous smile. “Hey Javi!” She said happily as she stopped a little distance away from the two agents.

“(Y/N)” he said, not sound as happy as she did, he sounded a little nervous or flustered. “What are you doing here?” He asked.

“Apparently you’re new boss wants to meet me. I don’t know why she wants to meet me when I’m not the one in charge of the department but according to my boss I’m the “best in the business” or something like that” she said using air quotes.

“As humble as ever I see” he commented making her laugh slightly. Steve stood there awkwardly as the two stared at each other. He could see what was happening even if they couldn’t.

He cleared his throat catching both Javi’s and (Y/N)’s attention. “Hi, I’m Steve Murphy. Javier’s partner” Steve introduced him self knowing that Javi wouldn’t. He held out his hand and she took it with a smile and shook it.

“(Y/N) (L/N)” She said “I’m a forensic psychiatrist for the DEA”

“Well, that a whole load of words I don’t understand” Steve joked making (Y/N) laugh cutely. Javi loved her laugh but not when it was directed at someone other than him.

“Well, I’ve got to go” she said as she removed her hand from Steve’s “it was lovely meeting you Steve. And it’s always a pleasure Javi. I’m sure I’ll see you both around but I really should get going”

“Y-Yeah, bye (Y/N)” Javi smiled softly to her as she walked past them and into the building.

Javi glance at Steve who was smirking at him “what the hell are you looking at me like that for?” He asked angrily.

“No reason” Steve said throwing his smoke to the floor and patting Javier’s shoulder. “No reason at all” he said before walking back inside. Javier let out a heavy sigh and rubbed over his face.

“Of all the fucking people” he mumbled as he looked up. He wasn’t really talking to anyone, unless there was a god up there who was listening and who hated him. He shook his head and followed his partner back inside.

The two agents sat back at their desks, Javi was reading through some files while Steve sat there. Watching and calculating. It was blindingly obvious what was happening and Steve simply found it funny that Javier was either an idiot or ignoring it.

“So it’s (Y/N) then?” Steve said finally after watching his friend for about ten minuets. He was trying his hardest but failing to contain his smirk.

“What?” Javi was trying to ignore him by distracting himself with papers but the mention of (Y/N)’s name always made him listen.

“It’s (Y/N)” Steve said again “it’s her who you like”

“Are you really still on this?” Javier sighed as he lit up a cigarette.

“Well, I’m just saying that she is a very beautiful girl and you two seemed to get on pretty well. Maybe you should ask her out” Steve suggested.

“I’m not a kid, Murphy. And besides, she wouldn’t go out with me anyway” he mumbled the last part but Steve caught it loud and clear.

“Is she single?” He asked.

Javier was losing his patience a little with his partner “as far as I’m aware. Yes, she is single” he answered. Javi could already guess the next words that would come out of his partner’s mouth and he didn’t want to hear it. “I’m not discussing this with you anymore” he said sternly “stop fucking about and actually do something” Steve just made a noise before standing and leaving, probably to go get a coffee.

Javi sighed again and held his head in his hands. He was getting stressed out because Steve was right. Of course he was right. Javi did like (Y/N). He had since the moment they met. But what’s not to like? She smart, funny, caring and so beautiful. It was a wonder to him that she hadn’t got a boyfriend yet. Any guy would be lucky to have her. He just wanted to be that guy.

What the hell is wrong with me? He though angrily as he ran his hands through his hair. Pull yourself together Javier. It’s not going to happen.

Meanwhile, (Y/N) was sat in Messina’s office listening to her ramble on about how things work now she’s in charge and whatnot. But (Y/N) wasn’t really listening to what she was saying. She was too distracted in her own thoughts.

Anyone who worked for the DEA knew about Javier Peña’s reputation. Everyone knew he was the asshole. Everyone knew his way of getting information. And for someone with the right mind, that would be enough to put them off him. But not (Y/N). Oh no.

Perhaps it was just her analytical nature that came with her job role that drew her to the dashing DEA agent. She saw a man who was clearly struggling. A man who was hiding himself from something or someone. Probably himself. She saw someone who by all accounts had dropped most their morals for the sake of a job. But she knew that beyond all that, beneath that cold exterior, was a kind and gentle man who simply wanted to be loved. She knew this because she had seen it.

It was a few months after they had first met. She was still pretty new to Columbia and she hadn’t really made many friends outside the people she worked with closely. Javier was the only other familiar face she knew. They both found themselves at the same bar at the same time, unintentionally of course.

(Y/N) didn’t know whether to approach him but he looked a little run down and she though she could maybe help with whatever was troubling him. She drew in a deep breath and walked over to him taking the empty stool beside him.

“(Y/N)?” He said a little confused to see her in a place such at this. She didn’t at all strike him as a drinker. She was a good girl who always played by the rules and never drank. So he though.

And he was right. She just ordered a glass of water.

“You don’t mind if I sit with you, Javier?” She asked shyly.

“No, of course not” he flashed her a brief smile before downing the rest of his drink, which she guessed to be a whiskey, before he held up his glass gesturing for a refill. “What brings you here?” He asked her as he swirled his freshly poured drink in his glass.

“I um...well I don’t really get out much. Or I didn’t at least when I lived in the states. Believe it or not I’m not a very “out going” person. So I thought that maybe I would try and be different down here, you know, new life and all” she laughed meekly as she circled the rim of her glass “a-and I just needed to clear my head from today...”

“Tough day?” Javi asked, his voice held a caring tone that made her feel warm inside, but he wasn’t looking at her, he was still more interested in his drink.

“The people down here are a lot more...intense than back in the states. I’m not really used to what I’m being given...”

“Well, you must be good at what you do. Other wise they wouldn’t have spent all that money flying you out here to work” he said “don’t worry though (Y/N),” the sweet caring tone of his voice had gone and changed into one of sarcasm “you’ll get used to it and you’ll become the same as everyone else who works in this shithole” he held up his drink and studied it for a brief moment before taking a massive swig “drinking away all your problems...” he mumbled to himself.

“I-Is that what you do?” (Y/N) asked quietly, not wanting to over step any boundaries. After all, they still didn’t really know each other. “You just drink away your problems”

“Yep” he spoke lowly but a hint of humour to his singular word.

“That’s-That’s not a great habit to get into Javier” she said “that’s pretty dangerous”

“Are you trying to get all psychologist on me?” He laughed.

“Psychiatrist” she correct “and no. Not really. But...maybe instead of just drinking, you could talk to someone about what’s going on with you. It might be better, and cheaper”

“(Y/N),” he said flatly as he put his drink on the bar and turned to face her “I haven’t spoken to anyone about my problems since my mother died when I was ten. If anyone cared about my problems, then I wouldn’t have any. But because no one does, I’m stuck with them”

“I care” she said quietly “and not just because it’s kind of my job to care about people but because...out of everyone I’ve met so far in my time being here, you’ve been the nicest to me. And I want to return the favour. So...if you wanted to talk, I’m here to listen even if you don’t want me to help you”

Javier frowned at her words. It wasn’t like a frustrated or fed up frown. It was more of a...sad frown. He swallowed his drink in one go, which was clearly a mistake on his part judging by the sharp hiss he let out from the burn of the drink. He rubbed his forehead as he set his now empty glass down but made no move to ask for another one.

“What do you want to know?” He asked.

The rest of the night they talked and they talked. Somehow, she managed to get him to open up to her. Not completely. She could tell that there were things he was not willing to share with her, at least not yet. But she saw a side of him that no one ever had. A warmer side. A more...vulnerable side.

Javi told her about his close relationship to his mother and how heart broken he was when she died. That was something he had never told anyone. He never spoke of his family, and certainly not his mother. But it seemed after that, he just kept going. He said how much he missed her and how much he needed her.

She didn’t tell him this because she didn’t quite know how to word it without making things seem worse. But in her head she came to the conclusion that his behaviour towards women was most likely a result of not having that female connection in his life. He didn’t have a loving mother or woman in his life like most people might, and the way he described their bond, clearly it had taken a serious toll on his life. But she wasn’t exactly surprised. The death of anyone in someone’s life can cause problems and pain. Especially a family member.

“Does that all sound doable to you?” Messina’s voice cut through her thoughts bringing her back to reality.

“O-Oh...y-yes. Yes” (Y/N) stuttered as she shifted in her seat to look a little more professional. “No actually. My apologies but I...”

“Wasn’t listening?” Messina said with a slight smile “I appreciate your honesty. It’s more then what I get here. All I was saying was that things are going to be run a bit differently from your end. Your work will stay the same but the work load may be different. Less. These people are dangerous and by the way these missions and raids have been going, it’s far more likely that the offenders you are meant to treat end up six feet under”

“Right...” (Y/N) said quietly with a nod.

“And also, if your up for it, I would like you to come down every so often and maybe check up on some of our own agents here”

“That’s not really what my job is” (Y/N) laughed nervously. She didn’t like telling people no but she wasn’t exactly cut out for the role of councillor to DEA agents.

“I know” Messina nodded “but your boss said you were the one must cut out to do it. It wouldn’t be something that you change from your current position to. Just, every so often coming down here and just talking to the agents. I think you can agree that with things happening in the world right now, everyone could use someone to talk too”

(Y/N) nodded but was still a little on the fence about the whole idea. Technically, it wasn’t too big an ask. She was technically qualified to do it, and it was technically what she was already doing. But what she was doing now was a little more advanced and intense then talking to agents about what they have seen in the field.

But she supposed it wasn’t too different to what she had done with Javi.

“But saying that, they probably wouldn’t even except the help. They prefer to bottle up their emotions and take it out on something or someone else” (Y/N) had a strong suspicion that she was referring to Javi, unless that was just something that all DEA agents did. “Especially agent Peña” There it was.

“Agent Peña” (Y/N) repeated quietly.

“He’s one of our agents focusing on the Escobar case, along with his partner-“

“Steve Murphy. Yes. I met him this morning. Me and Javier already know each other”

“Right” Messina said “well, you go careful with him” (Y/N) didn’t really know what she meant by that but she didn’t have time to question it before Messina stood and held her hand out to (Y/N) “I appreciate you coming out here”

(Y/N) stood too and shook her hand “thank you for having me. It was a pleasure”

“The pleasure was all mine. Let me show you out” just then the phone rang and (Y/N) waved off the offer.

“I know the way” she smiled soft before leaving the office and letting out a deep breath when the door had closed.

“Dude,” Steve said as he leaned over his desk to get Javi’s attention “heads up”

Javi turned and saw (Y/N). He wasn’t quite in control of his body as he ran over to her, offering to show her the way out of the base.

“So how was it?” He asked her.

“It was okay. I don’t really know what I was expecting. I wasn’t really told much about why I was coming here other than the fact she wanted to meet me”

“What did you talk about?”

“Not much. She just filled me in on who she was, her background and all that. And our role in helping the DEA. And...my role in the DEA”

“She didn’t fire you did she?” Javi said quickly.

“No!” She laughed “no, she didn’t fire me. I don’t think she has the power to fire me herself” Javi felt a little bit embarrassed after that “she sort of offered me a new job? I’m not really sure what she is planning though. She wants me to come here every so often to check on you DEA agents. You know, talk to you, make sure you’re okay”

“Well, I can’t imagine anyone else being the one for that role” they reach the outside of the base and came to a stop at the top of the steps. “So...where are you going now?”

“Technically it’s my day off so, home I guess”

“Right” he nodded “I’d give you a ride...but the boss said we’re not allowed off base”

“Following the rules? That’s not like you Javier” she chuckled. “It’s fine though. My ride should be here any second now anyway” as if on cue, the same sleek black car from earlier pulled into the gates “see”

“Y-Yeah” Javi said quietly.

“Well I um...I better go. But it was nice seeing you again Javi, even if it wasn’t for very long”

“Yeah. It was nice. Great. Great to see you again..”

“I’ll um..see you some when” she said as she began walked down the steps towards the car. He just waved as she got to the car and got in.

“Fuck” he swore under his breath watching as the car drove off “fuck”

Time seemed to drag on from that point until it was time to close up shop. The base was near empty aside from Javi, Steve and a few other officers who tended to always flitter around.

Steve let out a groan as he stretched his arms above his head “well,” he began “that’s me done” he dropped his arms and stood grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair and his gun from his desk drawer. “You staying on?”

“Uh...yeah. I’m just gonna...finish up some stuff” Javi said taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Ain’t got a hot date tonight then, huh?” Steve teased.

“No, I do not” Javi mumbled.

“That’s a real shame, man” Steve tutted as he adjusted his jacket.

“Why do you care so much about it anyway?” Javi asked.

“‘Cause you deserve someone Javi. You should’ve asked (Y/N) out. I’m sure she would’ve said yes” Javi didn’t respond, he just continued typing away at the typewriter. “Well, night Javi”

“Yeah” Javier grumbled as his partner left.

It was painfully quiet in the base. There were other officers still lingering about but none that Javi really knew. So really, he was alone.

He stubbed out his cigarette in the ash tray on his desk and leant back in his chair, running his hands over his face and groaning to himself. He dropped his hands and cast his gaze to the phone sitting on his desk.

Her phone number was basically engraved in his heart. He knew it better then he did his own number. Steve’s words played over and over in his head. Maybe he should ask her out.

But the phone just sat there. Mocking him. Laughing at him for being such a cowards. For being too afraid to ask the girl he liked out on a date. Or at least for a drink so he could see her again.

Javi sat forwards and pulled himself closer to his desk. He grabbed the phone but before he could even dial a number he slammed it back down again.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” He said to himself. He was getting annoyed at himself now. But he was still annoyed at Steve for bringing it up so much recently. Just pick up the phone and call her.

So he did. It all happened so quickly but he suddenly found himself with the phone to his ear ringing. He just hoped she answered.

The phone rang and rang and he began to think she wouldn’t answer. He was about to put the phone down but then her voice came through the other line.

“Hello?” She said.

“(Y/N)? It’s Javi” he tried to calm his voice, hopefully the quality of the phone wasn’t clear enough for her to hear his nervous tone.

“Hey Javi. What’s up?” She asked sweetly making his heart pound and palms sweat.

“Oh...uh nothing. I just um...are you busy?” He asked.

“Uh..well I was just about to get ready for bed but-“

He didn’t let her finish before speaking again “you’re busy, don’t worry about it”

“No no!” She said quickly “I’m not. What’s wrong?”

He paused and swapped the phone to his other ear, his leg bouncing nervously as he worked up the courage to ask her out for a drink “would you...like to go get a drink...with me?”

He squeezed his eyes shut and prepared himself for the cold hard rejection. But that wasn’t what he got “I’d love to” she said filling him with relief. He let out an audible sigh of relief that he hoped she didn’t hear.

“Great. I’ll um...meet you at the bar in say..” he looked at his watch “twenty minutes?”

“Sure thing, Javi” she said. He could hear the smile in her voice that made him smile too. “I’ll see you then”

“Yeah. See you then” he hung up the phone and fell back against his chair. He sat there for a moment just trying to comprehend what had just happened before he stood up and grabbed his jacket. He didn’t bother to tidy his desk before he was out the door and in his car driving towards the bar where he would meet her.

The bar was pretty quiet when he got there, which was strange considering the time. But he wasn’t complaining. He took at seat at the bar and ordered his usual drink, a whiskey. He sat there sipping his drink as he waited, the amber liquid calming his nerves.

“Javi,” came a voice from beside him. He tuned and saw (Y/N) taking the seat next to him. “Sorry I’m late” she said before ordering a glass of water.

It took him back to that day.

“I was early” he told her.

“So why did you ask me out here?” She asked as she took a sip of her drink “not that it’s a problem!” She was quick to add worried she had offended him in some way.

“I Uh, it was nice to see you again today and I just...wanted to see you again” he said quietly. She smiled at him and let out a happy noise as she took another sip of her drink.

He looked at her for a moment. There was something different about her from earlier. She looked at him confused but laughed nervously at his gaze “what?” She asked.

“Are you wearing lipstick?” He asked noticing how her lips were a more bold shade of red than usual. In all the time he had known her, he hadn’t ever seen her wear any kind of make up. But she didn’t need it. She was beautiful the way she was. If anything the lipstick was just...wrong. But not it a bad way, he just wasn’t used to seeing it on her.

“O-Oh. You noticed that” she looked away from him staring into her glass. She pulled a piece of hair from behind her ear to cover the side of her face so he wouldn’t see her. She felt like a complete fool.

He shifted closer to her, the stool he was sat on scraped against the floor as he did. Javi reached out and tucked the hair back behind her ear “it looks nice” he said making her looked back at him, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink at the soft touch “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear make up before”

“That’s becuase I haven’t. But it was something my cousin bought me as a joke for my birthday last year. She said it would help with all the guys I would get with and kiss”

“Has it worked?”

“No” she laughed “so far I haven’t been with or kissed a single person whilst I’ve been down here”

“Well, you may still find some use for it” he said.

A slightly awkward silence fell over the two of them as the sipped at their drinks, Javi finished first but didn’t ask for a second one. He turned back to look at her watching as she rubbed the now empty glass with her thumb.

“Do you want to go for a drive?” He asked her suddenly.

“A drive?” She asked “where to?”

Javi shrugged as he pulled out his wallet “I don’t know. Just a drive” he said pulling out some cash and throwing it on the bar before hopping off his stool.

“Okay?” She said hesitantly as she got off her own stool and followed him out of the bar to his car.

The drive to begin with was pretty quiet as she stared out the window trying to figure out where he was taking her. He did have a spot in mind but he didn’t want to spoil it for her.

“You’re not taking me somewhere to murder me, are you?” She joked “we seem to be getting away from the city a little bit” she noticed he was driving her to a more remote area rather than the open city. And it was slightly up a mountain too.

“No” he laughed “why would I ever want to murder you?”

She shrugged “I don’t know. Sometimes you don’t need a reason to murder someone”

“Well, I’m not bringing you somewhere to kill you (Y/N)”

“That’s what all murderers say!” She pointed out. He just laughed and pulled onto a patch of grass of the overlook he had brought them to. He brought the car to a stop and she examined the location “yep, definitely a murder spot”

“Jesus (Y/N)” he laughed.

“I don’t think he’s going to be much help” she said. “What is this place, Javi?”

“Come on” he said as he took off his seatbelt and got out the car. She followed suit and stood next to him as he leant against the front of his car.

“Oh my god” she gasped. She was in awe of the way the city looked from up there. The sky was completely clear of clouds as was full of beautiful silver stars. The lights from the houses were stars in their own right, but golden ones. She was pretty much lost for words at the sight.

“I know” Javi said “when you’re up here, looking down on this place, it’s hard to believe there’s a drug war going on”

“It’s a shame that a country as beautiful as this one won’t ever be known for...this” she said quietly “how did you find this place?”

“I don’t really know” he said “you get to a point where you just need to keep on going. And that’s what I did. I just kept driving and I ran out of fuel right here. But I’ve been coming back here ever since. It just...a nice place to be”

“It is very nice” she smiled to him. The conversation stopped for a moment as they both just enjoyed the sight. Enjoying how peacefully quite it was. And how fresh it was too.

“How many girls have you brought up here?” She asked his quietly.

“Out of everyone I’ve brought up here, you’re my favourite” he said “but that’s mainly down to the fact I’ve never brought anyone else up here other than myself”

“Well, I’m honoured to be the first” she said “thank you for bringing me up here Javi”

“You’re welcome. It’s nice to share it with someone...” he mumbled the last part but she still heard him.

(Y/N) just looked at him the same way he had looked at her earlier in the bar. She was trying to figure something out. He looked at her giving her the same nervous look she had, “what?” He said.

“Just something Messina said”

“Oh god, what did she say? That I’m a shit agent?”

“That I should be careful with you”

Javi didn’t speak right away, he shifted his stance and looked down “Yeah, I guess she had a point” he muttered “I’ve really made a name for myself. It’s no surprise that half the fucking DEA thinks I’m an asshole, the other half just have no idea who I am in general”

“I think she was wrong” (Y/N) said “I think they are all wrong about you Javier. You’re not an asshole Javi, at least not all the time. You’re just like every other person. And I think everyone is wrong to think so badly of you. Because you’re not a bad person”

“(Y/N), you don’t have to say that. You can tell me the truth. I get that it’s you’re job to make people feel good about themselves and shit like that but you don’t have to do that with me”

“I am telling you the truth” her voice was quiet and made him look at her, meeting her beautiful eyes with his “and my job isn’t just about making people feel good about themselves and shit like that, it’s about making people believe that they are good. It’s about helping people...and I...I want to help you”

“Why do you want to help me, (Y/N)?”

“Because I...” she stopped herself for a moment and looked at him, his eyes baring down on her as he awaited her answer.

“You what?” He pressed softly. He had turned his body to face her completely, standing incredibly close to her. “You what, (Y/N)?” He didn’t give her a chance to respond before he smashed his lips against hers. She felt her knees go weak at the sudden contact. She brought her hands up to grip his arms to hold her self steady as she returned the kiss. Javier slipped his arms around her waist pulling her towards him slightly. With his arms supporting her, she moved her hand up to thread her fingers through his soft hair.

“Because I love you” she whispered when he pulled back from her lips “and I believe you are worth helping, and I want you to see yourself as I see you”

“And how do you see me (Y/N)?” He asked in a low voice as he gently rubbed his nose against hers making her heart flutter as she stroked the back of his head with her thumbs.

“Someone who just wants to be loved” she admitted to him.

“Only if I’m loved by you” he whispered before kissing her again, deeper this time and not so hard. His arms wrapped more firmly around her, drawing her as close to him as possible without hurting her.

“Oh you are Javi” she whispered against his lips “you are”

2/01/21

Taglist: @linkpk88 @phoenixhalliwell @lunaserenade

[spencerspecifics]

What about a moried fluffy fic based on You Belong With Me by: Taylor Swift

You have no clue how much I absolutely love this song prompt thank u anon moreid is my shit here we go. (It is fluffy but it’s angsty in the beginning so yeah stay for the fluff thanks.) And I’m so sorry this took so long to get up! I took some time off from writing bc of lots of factors.

Lowkey TW?? Slight homophobia Bc Derek’s gf thinks he’s “too gay” even tho he’s just bi Also, song lyrics are in bold lettering. They’re going to be part the story here and there to help plot and whatnot so yeah!

———————————————————————

You Belong With Me

———————————————————————

Spencer had a problem. Namely a person problem. A Derek Morgan problem. Spencer didn’t hate Derek, quite the opposite, actually. Spencer was crushing hard on the man. And he couldn’t do anything. Spencer would rather lose his right hand then tell Derek how he felt about him, he couldn’t risk their friendship over his stupid little crush.

But just because he hid his feelings, ignored them through hell and high water- it didn’t mean they weren’t real, or weren’t there. They were both very real and apparent. Every time Derek called him ‘pretty boy’ or ‘genius’ or ‘handsome’, every time Derek wrapped his arm around him casually or did small things to showed him he cared, caused Spencer to blush and go speechless. Spencer was smart, but how to react to someone you’re infatuated with giving you attention, he’d never be able to solve that.

Time and time again, though, he found himself in situations where it was just him and Derek- and everything in his brain and body would scream at him to tell him how much he liked him, tell him how they should be together. It just made sense, after all.

Long paragraph short, here are the four times Spencer felt like they belonged together, and the one time Derek realized they do belong together.

~

“...You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset. She’s goin’ off about something that you said, ‘cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do...”

~

Spencer hung out with Derek a lot, it was just by default. He wasn’t a social individual, but he pack bonded with the team. Spencer saw everyone there as his friends, so yeah, he hung out with Derek. They would go do things together, grab lunch, get coffee, meet up to go shopping. Painfully mundane tasks that were so domestic it could cause spencer another migraine if he thought about it for long enough.

It was on one of these mundane days when problems slowly arose. They were in the mall, sat in the food court. Spencer was looking over a new book he had just bought, it was a thick book on physics, it would probably take him a day or two at most to read it, his tray of food in front of him was still mostly untouched.

Unlike Spencer, Derek was eating. Though it was greasy mall pizza, it was still food. Derek decided he’d run a few extra miles to work it off as some sort of consequence for his action.

They sat in silence, Spencer already flipping through pages quickly, mouthing the words he was reading over to himself; and Derek chewing silently as he watched the genius in front of him.

That was, until, Derek’s phone rang. Breaking the ambiance that had surrounded the two. Spencer didn’t look up, he was too invested in the book in front of him. Derek reacted, though, wiping his hands off on a napkin before grabbing his cell phone out of his back pocket. He looked over the caller ID, it was Melissa.

Melissa was his newest fling, Spencer had heard bits and pieces of Garcia and Derek’s conversation surrounding the topic, but he knew the bare minimum- deciding best to not involve himself with how his crushes romantic life was soaring- meanwhile his was crashing.

Spencer didn’t know it was Melissa though, not until Derek pulled the phone up to his ear and said; “Hey, Melissa!”

If anyone on their team was with them and watching Spencer, they would have noticed the way his eyes looked off the book for a moment, up at Derek, before immediately turning back down; to reread the same page he didn’t need to reread because he could just go back into his memory to figure out what the words on the paper meant to say. But he had to reread the page. The strongest memory in the whole universe couldn’t tell him what was on the page in front of him, he was distracted.

Melissa on the other line started speaking. Derek listened before responding; “Oh, not much, Y’know- just at the mall with the doc.”

Spencer kept himself staring down at the book in front of him, even though he could feel the blush rising up to his ears. It was stupid that made him blush like a schoolgirl. But he couldn’t help it. So instead, he hid in the pages about quantum mechanics. Something real, something not confusing. Something that was pure and basic and understanding.

“No-“ Derek chuckled, “No, pretty boy ain’t that type of doctor,” god, this was going to be the death of Spencer. Pretty boy always was something that made him melt. He couldn’t help it, god knows he tried. He did all the distraction techniques he could find. None of them really worked.

Spencer opted to hide in his book more, act like he wasn’t listening to Derek. Even though he was. He was always hooked on every last word the man spoke, it always mattered. This was just a hopeless effort, Spencer realized, as he sunk down in the uncomfortable plastic chair.

“Now, what on earth are you- hey, baby- beautiful, what are you-“ Derek started, sounding concerned.

Spencer couldn’t help it at this point, he looked up over the top of the book. Derek was looking at his phone in bewilderment. It was no longer up to his ear.

“...Everything okay?” Spencer asked curiously after a moment. Derek just sighed setting his phone down on the table next to his food tray. “I don’t even know, man. I called you pretty boy and that made Melissa flip- she was all like ‘who’s pretty boy? We discussed you being bisexual already, you better not be changing up on me’. Then she hung up.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Spencer replied, book still up between him and Morgan. “Yeah, I’m confused. It was a joke.” Derek explained to Reid, as if Spencer was ever owed an explanation regarding this.

“She must be insecure.” Spencer theorized plain and simple. Derek watched him curiously instead of asking anything to lead him on, “If she gets the idea that we’re a thing- just based on a nickname, then she’s gonna hate you and Garcia. You don’t need someone like that.”

Derek sighed, “You’re right. But I really thought she was great.” “Maybe she is,” Spencer shrugged, “I don’t know her. You do. All I’m saying is, she won’t like you and Garcia if she didn’t like my nickname.”

That elicited a chuckle from Derek, a sound Spencer always cherished in hearing. “Yeah, I can’t have someone hating my favorite boy wonder,” once again, Spencer could feel the blush coming onto his face. He was just hoping the lighting inside the mall food court didn’t make it all too obvious. “I’ll talk to her about it.” Derek decided. Spencer just nodded, not entirely wanting to talk right now.

“Yeah.. um, do what’s best.” Spencer agreed blandly. He wasn’t sure what else to say. And wasn’t this just laughable? Giving his crush dating advice? Spencer wasn’t stupid, but he was in this scenario.

“Yeah, I will. Anyways,” Derek continued the conversation casually, reaching out covering Spencer’s book with his hand. “What are you-“ Spencer started, confused. “Taking away your book. Eat before your food gets cold.” Derek spoke plainly, as if this was so obvious. He pulled Spencer’s book out of his grasp, setting it down next to himself; before pushing Spencer’s untouched tray of food in front of him.

“I’m not very-“ Spencer started, already trying to reach back for his book. Derek just shook his head, pulling the book closer to him. “Nuh-uh, not today. Not today. You’re eating. No if’s, and’s, or but’s.”

Spencer sunk down in his seat a little as he finally caved, agreeing and eating the mall food. Granted, it wasn’t great, but it was food, and he did need to eat. Last thing he had eaten that day was a granola bar for breakfast, and Derek knew that he forgot to eat.

He ate in silence as Derek watched him, before moving his gaze to casually watch the other mall patrons. It was so entirely stupid and domestic of them. It was nothing special, it wasn’t even that good of a memory. But for some reason, Spencer knew that was the first time he felt something new towards Derek. More new than just his crush. It was a new, overwhelming feeling of “I wouldn’t treat you that way” “I wouldn’t care if you called someone babygirl” “I would be better for you” before finally, his mind landed on, “you belong with someone who wouldn’t judge. Someone like me. You belong with me.”

That’s when Spencer knew he was fucked, more so than before.

~

“...I’m in the room, it’s a typical Tuesday night. I’m listening to the type of music she doesn’t like. And she’ll never know your story like I do...”

~

The second time was at Spencer’s apartment. He had complained about his bookshelf not being stable enough to hold all his books, and Derek had practically invited himself over; “C’mon, Reid. It’ll be good. Get some quality time without the ladies, we can order Chinese, plus I can show you how to fix your shelf so you don’t have to ask for help next time.”

So yeah, now they had gone directly from work to Spencer’s apartment- the only pit stop being to Derek’s house to pick up his toolbox, as Spencer didn’t have one.

Spencer wished he wasn’t such a pushover, because damnit, now he was gonna be in his apartment with Derek. That didn’t seem like a problem to anyone else, obviously- because they weren’t crushing hard on the guy. So Spencer just had to stand there and hide how much he liked Derek, and how at home Derek made his apartment feel- because it felt better with him there. He belonged there.

Spencer ignored his thoughts as they got into his apartment, he led Derek over to the problematic bookshelf in question. Some of the books had toppled off the shelves, and were on the ground below. “Damn, Reid, you don’t mess around with all these books.” Derek joked lightly as he looked over the immense amount of books Spencer had shoved onto the shelf; Derek squatted down, lowering the tool kit next to him as he started taking books off the shelves one by one so he could further inspect what was wrong with it.

Spencer protested, not understanding Derek was joking, “It’s not my fault- the bookshelf is supposed to hold books, if it can’t do what’s promised then that’s on the manufacturers error.”

Derek just chuckled slowly in response before replying, still pulling books off the shelves “Don’t worry, pretty boy, we’ll get this sorted out for you, alright? Just get some music on so we got something to hang to.” Derek wasn’t looking at Spencer, thank god- or he’d see how the genius got so flustered so quickly, how quickly a blush spread across his face, and how he immediately looked away from him, to the walls, the floor. To look at anything but Derek.

“Yes- right. Music.” Spencer changed his focus, he couldn’t think about how good it felt to be called a pet name by Derek. He couldn’t let himself think about it, or else he’d never stop. So he busied himself with getting some music to play through the quiet apartment, he turned over to his old radio that was sat on his study desk, it was a loud radio, that’s why he got it. It was compact, but if he put it in the bathroom he could hear it from the kitchen. It was the perfect device for him.

Spencer turned the radio on, the channel he always listened to was already tuned in, so he left it that way. Soft instrumental music started flowing out of the speakers, Derek stopped his motion of putting books down to turn and look at Spencer semi-curiously; “What’s this music?” “Classical.” Spencer replied easily, looking down at the radio as he messed with the volume dial that always seemed to be loose. “It’s on 88.1, they play strictly instrumental and classical pieces. It’s nice.”

Derek didn’t respond, Spencer didn’t need him to respond. It was an inconsequential conversation about music. If Derek didn’t like the station, he was more than welcome to change it to another. But he didn’t, it was Spencer’s apartment, and the soft classical music playing just seemed fitting to play there. Plus Derek just wanted the music as a background sound to help him focus, it wasn’t really important what it was- just that there was music playing.

Spencer went off to the kitchen to find the menu he had saved from the local Chinese restaurant that does deliveries, meanwhile Derek continued pulling books off the shelves. Melissa would hate him for being here, ever since the call at the mall, she was convinced Derek was going to leave her for him- or for another guy. She thought he was “too gay” to stay with her, obviously that’s not how him or his bisexuality works. But Melissa didn’t see it that way.

God, everything Derek saw, Melissa saw differently, it was ironic he was even with her. He saw Penelope Garcia as his best female friend, his babygirl. Melissa saw her as a threat, they had a whole argument about it. Melissa had finally stopped seeing Garcia as a threat when he told her that Garcia was wrapped up in Kevin drama. He wanted to tell Garcia about all of this, but he knew that if he did she would immediately tell him to dump her. Anyone that came between their friendship wasn’t allowed, and that wasn’t a rule Garcia had made up, it was more of an understanding they had come to about their dynamic as friends.

Derek just hadn’t dumped her yet out of fear. This was his first significant other in so long, it felt like a failure to start something and end it. He wanted to fix it. Though he knew it was unlikely he could, he still wanted to try.

Derek kept thinking as he finished pulling the books off until there were none left, he then pulled on the board of the shelf to see how unstable it was, all while continuing to think. He thought about Melissa, but none of it was really positive. It was all what she would hate about him being here, other than the obvious of being with Spencer (which she already disliked. She hated the genius and she hadn’t ever spoken to him, which Derek didn’t think was rational at all.) She would hate how Spencer’s apartment was, the green walls and shelves of books, the lack of a television, the soft glow from the lamps. Derek found every single last one of these qualities endearing, it helped show who Spencer was as a whole. Melissa would see it as a problem.

She’d say green was a gross color, that Spencer needed to be aware of pop culture and get a television, she’d say that Spencer didn’t get out enough and he lived like a hermit; she’d say the lighting was weird and dark, instead of soft and calming.

Derek let out a sigh, deciding to abandon his thoughts as a whole, because they were just starting to irritate him. Spencer was great the way he was, Melissa was being problematic; and him and her really needed couples counseling or something. That was the decision he landed on as he gave his full attention to the wiggly boards in Spencer’s bookshelf.

Derek pulled on the shelf again to test it’s strength. It was loose, pretty close to just falling down altogether. It was good he was here to fix it, Derek concluded, as he reached for the screwdriver in his toolkit.

~

The night continued on, Derek went through part by part, working on fixing Spencer’s bookshelf; meanwhile Spencer had ordered them dinner from the local Chinese place. Reid had thought about setting up the dinner at his kitchen table, before immediately regretting that idea. This was casual, it wasn’t some type of sit down dinner with Derek. That’s the last thing he needed, Spencer decided, as he walked over to Derek and handed him the carton of beef broccoli and a pair of chopsticks to go with.

Derek took them and put them down next to himself quickly, before pivoting into a sitting position on the floor and turning himself away from the bookshelf, facing exactly to the dinner table- which is where Spencer had opted to sit at, alone.

“What’re you doing all the way over there?” Derek’s spoke out to him. Spencer tried to be casual, “All my stuff’s over here, and it’s not that far from you,” he shrugged, hoping Derek wouldn’t go any deeper. But of course, he did. “And I’m over here, so bring your stuff my way- you’re gonna make your repairman eat sitting on the floor alone? That’s cold, man.”

Spencer rolled his eyes as he picked up his carton of orange chicken and rice, “Okay, I’m here.” He tried to sound like he was annoyed, instead of stupidly simultaneously happy and unhappy with derek’s request (happy because his stupid crush on Derek, unhappy because of the same, unfortunate reason).

He made his way over to Morgan, sitting down across from him and using the back of his couch as a makeshift chair prop to lean against. He opened up his food, as Derek was now satisfied with this series of events and had gone back to paying attention to his beef broccoli. Spencer picked up his fork, ready to eat and just ignore how he was feeling, when Derek spoke up again; “Seriously- you still don’t know how to use chopsticks?”

Suddenly, Spencer was giving Derek a glare that had no malice, while Derek just chuckled at Spencer’s fury. “I’m tellin’ you. You need to learn how to use chopsticks.” “It’s fine.” Spencer argued weakly, “No way, if suddenly all the forks, knives, and spoons vanished, you’d have to eat with chopsticks.”

“Not true if sporks are still a thing.” Spencer pointed out, “I’m gonna smack you.” Derek replied, now it was Spencer’s turn to laugh.

~

“...But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers. Dreaming ‘bout the day when you wake up and find. That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time...”

~

The third time was when Spencer had resigned, accepting his feelings for what they were. He was now simply playing the waiting game, of waiting his crush out- because god knows he can’t go on like this forever. He hated how things have changed from a small crush into a serious never ending stream of thoughts he had whenever he was with Derek, but that’s how it was for him now.

He had ways to keep himself in check, though. As he always did. One was re-reading long old stories to himself from memory. It usually worked pretty well, and it was a good way to just pass the time in general.

Except for one, especially horrid time, when the FBI baseball team had a game against the CIA’s.

Spencer wasn’t playing, thank god for that. He wasn’t good at sports, though that one time he played baseball with Derek earlier in the season was a great memory he loved to go back to and remember. But that was a fluke, and he knew if he played again it wouldn’t go nearly as well.

Since he wasn’t playing, him and the rest of the team had come along to bring Morgan moral support from the sidelines of the bleachers. What Spencer hadn’t expected was Melissa showing up, too.

~

She showed up at the same time the team did to the field, they set up on the bleachers with some blankets and a basket full of snacks (courtesy of one Penelope Garcia.) and then she was suddenly walking over, surprising the team.

“Hi- um, are you Garcia? Is this the area for the BAU?” She asked, she had shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes, and was wearing a flowy pink and yellow sundress. She was pretty, borderline beautiful, there was no denying that.

Spencer decided to start re-reading the books in his head by that point. He could already guess it was Melissa, as Rossi wouldn’t have invited a woman to this event until at least the ninth or eighth date (though with Rossi, Spencer never really knew how he operated in terms of dating, and he had no desire to know). Spencer also knew she wasn’t Hotch’s, as Hotch was too focused on Jack and the team to even consider dating.

Emily was single, and definitely would not invite a guy (or girl) to this either. J.J. was happy with Will, and Penelope had the on and off thing with Kevin. So yeah, Spencer deduced easily that this beautiful mysterious woman was Melissa.

The fact Derek invited Melissa rubbed Spencer the wrong way. But it wasn’t his business, he reminded himself, as he did his best to start focusing in on pride and prejudice in his mind.

Garcia began welcoming Melissa, even though it wasn’t necessary; “It is! And I am! Hi! Are you Melissa? Derek told me you were coming!”

Spencer did his best to not focus on Melissa, skipping forward a few chapters into pride of prejudice in his mind, to keep himself focused. He got pulled from his book though, as Melissa introduced herself and Garcia started introducing the team back;

“Well, grandpa over there is David Rossi,” “Easy, or else you won’t get those extra vacation days I offered you.” Rossi replied simply as hell, reaching for a bag of chips from the basket. “Fine- that esteemed gentleman right there is David Rossi.” “Better.” Rossi responded, a small grin showing across his face. Melissa laughed softly with Garcia and Rossi for a moment before Penelope continued on;

“That’s Aaron Hotchner, and his son Jack.” Garcia pointed them out, Jack was playing on his Nintendo DS, only looking up to wave briefly as Hotch reached over to shake Melissa’s hand. “Nice to meet you.” “You too.” She smiled at him.

“Those two lovely ladies are Jennifer Jareau and Emily Prentiss, plus Jennifer’s hubby Will and their adorable son Henry,” they all shook hands with Melissa, and J.J. briefly told her that it wasn’t necessary to call her “Jennifer” but instead “J.J.” as that was the name she was most used to.

“Then, we got Doctor beautiful brain, Spencer Reid.” Spencer looked up, giving Melissa a small wave, finally looking her head on. He had seen her, sure, but he hadn’t made eye contact with her until right now. And damn, she looked wild behind the eyes. And not in a good way. She was perky, seemingly almost as positive as Penelope. But that positivity didn’t reach her eyes. She looked Spencer up and down, and there was something deep in her gaze that made him want to get up and walk to the CIA side of the bleachers. It was clear he was going to have to walk on eggshells around her, and he wished he knew why.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Spencer offered up as a greeting, “You too,” Melissa replied, smiling as she turned on her polite charm again. It was only in her eyes he could see her distaste towards him. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

~

Melissa settled down, sitting next to the rest of the team as they waited for the game to start. She was thankfully seated near Emily, J.J., and Garcia. So Spencer and her’s conversation was limited.

That was until, he was brought up in conversation; “Oh geez- one of the funniest things was when Spence and Morgan got stuck in that elevator together,” J.J. recounted, causing all four of them to laugh; meanwhile Spencer didn’t react. He was still deep in his mind reading, and though he heard his name called, it didn’t cause him to want to stop.

“Yeah- I heard about that from Derek, he said Spencer spouted off some fact about people and elevator deaths because he was scared.” Melissa turned to Spencer as she spoke, giving him an in to speak. Spencer didn’t realize she had even turned to him, as he was fully focusing his brain power on the pages of the book he had read over before.

“Uh.. what’s he doing?” Melissa asked in a hushed voice to J.J., “Oh- he’s just reading. Spencer, hey.” J.J. said, leaning over and tapping his shoulder, finally catching his attention; causing him to open his eyes.

“Sorry- what?” Spencer finally spoke, as he was fully there and listening to them now, instead of somewhat ignoring them and focusing on a memory of a book.

“..J.J. said you were reading?” Melissa asked curiously, obviously confused. Spencer nodded, “Yes. I was. I have an eidetic memory so I can look back at anything I’ve ever read. So sometimes I go back and read books I’ve read before.” Spencer explained awkwardly, “I do it to, uh, pass the time.”

“Hm.. that’s.. that’s cool. Derek mentioned you were smart, recounting lots of facts.” Melissa said slowly, it seemed like she was trying to gain some sort of edge in the conversation, but thankfully Emily butted in casually- not realizing the odd atmosphere that was slowly building.

“Oh yeah- Reid’s always doing that. Talk to him on Halloween and all he talks about is how paganism played a major role in the now very American, very non-pagan holiday.” The girls laughed on innocently as Melissa gained a serious look in her eye again.

“You know everything?” She asked him, “No.” he replied, he was self assured in this field, he knew how to handle himself when people were doubting his intelligence level. “I just know a lot.” He clarified.

Melissa looked like she was ready to speak, say something to him- he had no clue if it would be good or bad. But everyone’s attention got redirected on the whooping sounds both teams made as they entered the field. The game was starting.

~

Spencer had stayed focused on the game, even running statistics and probabilities in his head on who would come out victorious. Rossi made a joke they should bet on the game like people do on horses, and he’d just cheat and use Reid to make sure he won.

The rest of the team didn’t go for that, as they would employ the same strategy as Rossi, and Spencer was smart enough to give them all the wrong answers so he would actually win.

It was now the third inning, J.J. had gone with Hotchner and Will to take a short walk with the kids, as they were getting bored in their seats. Rossi went off to flirt it up with the older woman who was running the concessions stand, and Emily and Garcia had gone off to the bathroom together.

Now it was just Melissa and Reid alone, and Reid didn’t like her company. He didn’t mean it in a rude way, but also maybe he did- for his very stupid and very personal reason that she was actively dating his crush. But besides that reason, she seemed off, and on a team of behavioral analysts, he couldn’t be the only one who noticed.

There was something wrong with her, but Spencer couldn’t place his finger on what. That was, until, she sat down next to him on the bleachers. “So,” she started casually, “what’re you reading up there?” “Pride and Prejudice.. have you read it?” Spencer replied, doing his best to make polite conversation.

Melissa shook her head, “No, way too long of a book for me.” Spencer just nodded, an “Ah” sound escaping his lips before their conversation entirely diminished as they sat in silence, watching the CIA’s team line up for batting.

Derek was on second base, and while he waited for the CIA team to finish lining up, he turned to the only two people still on the bleachers and waved. Melissa waved in response excitedly, “Go Derek!” She shouted for good measure, Reid on the other hand just gave a small wave to him.

Their personalities were very different, Spencer gathered.

“Derek helped you with a bookshelf the other week, right?” Melissa asked after silence had settled over them, and Reid had almost returned to his brain book. Her question stopped him from reading, though.

Spencer nodded, “Uh, yeah. He helped fix my bookshelf, the boards were all wobbly and books couldn’t stay on.” Melissa hummed in response for a moment, before looking back out to the field. Derek was now busy talking to a teammate, a guy Spencer recognized from the terrorist division.

“Look, Spencer,” Melissa finally spoke again, letting out a sigh before she continued on; “We both know Derek is an attractive man, a great man. But he’s my man. I don’t need you confusing him and making him switch sides- believe me, I want to think that you two are just the best of friends and that’s it. But I don’t believe it, not for a second, especially not after hearing how he talks about you, and finally meeting you.”

Spencer stayed quiet, not looking at Melissa, instead opting to stare at his hands, that were now firmly clasped together as he took in what she was saying. “We are just friends, though..” Spencer finally spoke up in a weak defense for himself. Melissa just chuckled, their pleasant conversation had somehow turned to her speaking to him in a sickly sweet malicious tone.

“I don’t think you are. I think there’s something more, and I don’t want things to go any further- with either of you.”

Spencer stayed quiet again, seriously considering exiting the bleachers and getting a cab (as the team had carpooled over to this event together.) and just leaving, going back to his apartment and faking the stomach flu for a day and a half. It seemed so appealing to just disappear right now.

Melissa continued on after she realized Spencer wasn’t going to say anything. “I’m not trying to be the bad guy here, Spencer. You seem very kind, and smart. You told me earlier you don’t know everything, but you know a lot,”

Spencer nodded, that was true, he had said that, she kept going; “I hope you now know where your place is. Away from Derek. And I hope you know you aren’t alone with me talking to you, I would be telling Penelope Garcia the same exact thing, except she has a boyfriend, Kevin. Derek told me. So you’re the only single one who poses a problem. I hope we can be friends- but you need to back up.”

And that was all, she got up and moved away, and just in time as Emily and Garcia made their reappearance from the bathroom and onto the bleachers.

Spencer stayed frozen, however. Not really sure what he could say or do. All he knew now is that he had a very good reason to dislike Melissa. And he did, as much as he hated to admit it. He disliked Melissa, he wanted her gone. He didn’t want her and Derek together.

He was now only more sure that he would treat Derek better, he wouldn’t go around threatening his friends- he couldn’t even imagine that as something he would ever want to do.

Spencer stayed, shrunken on the bleachers as he watched the team play, staying quiet and reserved while Melissa and the rest of the team cheered.

Spencer just hoped Derek figured out that Melissa wasn’t good for him sooner than later, or else he’d never get out of the relationship scratch-free.

~

“Walkin’ the streets with you and your worn out jeans. I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be. Laughin’ on the park bench thinking to myself, ‘hey isn’t this easy?’. And you got a smile that could light up this whole town. I haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down. You say you’re fine I know you better than that. Hey, whatcha doing with a girl like that?”

~

Since Spencer’s unfortunate encounter with Melissa, he had done his best to steer clear of Derek. Only being with him when necessary (and they were only really together for work, though for the few latest times that Derek’s invited him out to get food or see a movie, Spencer’s declined).

Derek had subtly caught notice, wondering why Reid had been declining his invitations. At first he thought it was because Reid was busy, he was somehow also getting a bachelors degree in philosophy at the moment, it made since if he had limited free time.

But then he did more thinking, and even if reid was busy- he always made time for Derek. Morgan knew that for a fact, because every time he needed help (work related or not) Spencer was there, and ready to assist. Even if Reid was studying, the kid read so fast he only needed to read something once to remember everything. So it didn’t make sense. Not at all. Spencer was avoiding him.

So why? Derek now had to get alone with Reid, he needed to see what this was about.

~

And Derek got his chance, after solving a case in the sleepy city within Maine, called Rangeley. The teams plane was having a malfunction issue with a part of the engine, so they were stuck there for an extra day. Unfortunate for everyone else, but a blessing in disguise for Derek. It was the perfect time for the team to hang together, maybe get some meals or see a movie. But Derek set up a plan.

~

Morgan knocked on Spencer’s door the morning they had nothing to do, with his plan already getting set in motion. This was step one, of many.

Reid responded in his own special fashion, opening the door a crack to look out at Derek and into the hall, his hair looked messy, he was still slightly bleary eyed- and he was still in his pajamas and mismatched socks. He had just woken up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Derek asked, he didn’t want to start this morning off on Reid being rudely awoken. Reid nodded as he opened the door more, stepping forward the slightest bit. “Yeah, but it’s okay. What’s going on?” Reid was already aware of the plane situation, the whole team had been told last night, which forced Derek into making this last minute plan.

“Nothing- the team doesn’t have anything to do. Wanna go get breakfast?” Derek asked, trying to phrase his words and himself casually. He didn’t want Reid to get suspicious and back out. He just wanted answers from his best friend, that’s all.

Spencer rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before responding. “Okay, yeah. Let me go get changed.”

~

They arrived at an Ihop. It wasn’t anything special, but it was the nearest breakfast place to the hotel, so it worked for them. They were greeted by a hostess who showed them to a booth.

Spencer didn’t know why he agreed this this, he shouldn’t have. But in his half-awake and still somehow sleep deprived mind, breakfast seemed like a good idea. A great idea, in fact. But he now was anxious again. He didn’t want to deal with Melissa, call him scared, nonconfrontational, weak- whatever. He just didn’t want to have to deal with her. He enjoyed hanging out with Derek, but he knew if he did then it would be inevitable that he would end up facing her wrath again.

Almost immediately after the hostess showed them to their booth, their waiter appeared to take their orders. “Goodmorning, what can I get started for you two?” The older gentleman, whose name tag simply read “John” asked them.

“Just some coffee, please.” Derek ordered for the both of them. He knew what Spencer would want to order, and he also knew how bad Spencer was at conversing with people he wasn’t familiar enough with. John just nodded, saying a quick; “Comin’ right up!” Before walking off to leave them alone.

“Is the rest of the team coming?” Spencer asked as he stifled a yawn with his hand. Derek shook his head, “No, they all wanted to sleep in. Lucky I dragged you out of bed, though.” He joked, hoping to lighten the mood in the room. Spencer just smiled sheepishly for a moment before looking back down at the table.

They stayed quiet, which wasn’t unusual for the two, especially considering they were both still tired. But Derek didn’t want there to be silence, he wanted to talk about what was going on. “Reid-“ he started, but before he could continue his sentence, John was standing by the table with a pot of coffee. Derek and Spencer both wordlessly pushed their mugs over towards John, watching him fill them up with coffee in silence.

John finished pouring and stepped back, “I’ll give you folks some more time before ordering.” Derek just nodded at him, “That would be great, thank you.” And with that, their waiter was gone.

Reid was now focused on his mug of coffee, grabbing some sugar packets from the container on the table and ripping one open after another, before finally pouring it into his coffee. “How many sugars you plan on putting in there?” “Two.” “You’re already ripping open a third packet, Reid.”

“Oh.” Was all he said in response, Derek sighed, Spencer wasn’t acting right; he hadn’t for a while but this morning was peak Reid-being-weird, so Derek needed to take a stronger approach; “Reid. What’s wrong?”

“Hm? Nothing’s wrong.” Spencer said all too quickly to be believable. Derek rolled his eyes, watching the tired genius grab a spoon and stir his coffee with an intensity he never normally used. “That doesn’t work on me, man. We’re all profilers. I know when something’s up.” Spencer stayed quiet, still stirring his coffee with the spoon.

Reid didn’t want to be in this situation. He knew he should’ve hidden himself better, said and acted in different ways. Derek knew something was up, and Spencer couldn’t hide it forever. Especially not from him. He hated lying to Morgan.

“So..” Spencer spoke quietly, “What do you think is up?” Derek rolled his eyes at Spencer again, “Don’t talk to me like an unsub trying to stall. Somethings wrong. Did I do something- was it something I did or said?” Spencer put his spoon down as he watched Derek.

“I gotta be honest, Reid. I don’t know what’s going on here. We used to hangout so much, and suddenly you’re giving me the cold shoulder. I thought it was because of your studies- but you’ve done written whole thesesis while we’ve hungout. So it’s not you being busy with school. You make time. Why isn’t there any time now?” Derek kept going, voice raising in intensity as he got to the end.

Spencer wanted to say something, he wanted to say something so bad. But he didn’t know what. So instead he took a sip of his not-sweet-enough coffee. Derek watched him as he did so, intensity not wavering.

Spencer put the mug back down onto the table before he finally found his words, “It’s not you. You didn’t do anything.” “So what is it?” Morgan asked him almost instantly. Spencer sighed, he didn’t want to say it was Melissa. He couldn’t, he didn’t want to make Derek feel bad, he thought Derek was happy with her. He didn’t want to ruin that, even if Melissa was terrible. Derek was seemingly glad, and Spencer didn’t want him changing from positive to anything else (except somehow maybe more positive.)

“It’s nothing.” “It’s definitely not nothing, Reid. Please tell me.” Derek pried more. He couldn’t let this go. Spencer sighed, a weak sign of defeat. “Okay- but. I’m sorry. This involves Melissa.” He admitted, looking up to see Derek had a confused expression on his face. “What about her?” “When we went to the baseball game a few weeks ago and met her. She was really pleasant at first, but as soon as we were alone on the bleachers together she told me that I needed to stop being so close with you. And it really freaked me out, she saw me as a threat.”

Derek leaned back in the booth bench, unsure of what to do. “What did she say?” Derek finally asked after a moment, deciding he wanted to know what Melissa said to Spencer in full to make him act like this. Spencer didn’t deserve to be treated this way, he just didn’t. “I’m not going to-“ Spencer started, Derek just cut him off, “Yes you will. I know you remember what she said. So tell me. Please.”

Spencer fidgeted with the handle of the mug, “Okay, okay.. she said that you were her man and then she said, ‘I don’t need you confusing him and making him switch sides’...” Spencer spoke once more after that, before he could forget, “She also, um.. she said she would tell Garcia the same thing, except she didn’t because she knew she was with kevin.”

Derek stayed quiet, looking at Spencer before looking back down at his mug of coffee. Spencer stayed quiet, he didn’t know what he could say or do right now to make this better.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer finally decided to speak after it had been silent for a few minutes. “I didn’t want to tell you because you-“

Derek held his hand up as a simple gesture, indicating Spencer should be quiet. Spencer hushed up quickly, watching Morgan, who was sitting silently still, staring down with an intensity that could burn stronger than the sun. He stood up after a moment, pulling out his wallet and putting two twenty dollar bills down on the table, in front of Spencer. “For the coffee. Get some breakfast, too. I need to go.” “Derek, I-“ Spencer started, standing up, he wasn’t gonna leave Derek alone, especially to process this large amount of information. but he had started walking away, back turned to reid- leaving him alone at the booth. He wasn’t going to come back, and as much as Spencer wanted to follow him and never leave his side- he could tell he should leave him alone, at least for now.

~

After that whole experience, Spencer didn’t stay to get breakfast. He finished his coffee, paid, and left quickly. Deciding Derek needed space, and he wasn’t sure what else he could do, so he tucked tail back to the hotel. He lied to himself, saying maybe he could nap or watch T.V and ignore his imploding thoughts.

He couldn’t ignore his imploding thoughts, if that wasn’t painstakingly obvious. Spencer’s mind reeled from every aspect of their breakfast, to how he was curt and almost rude to Derek- he now wished he hadn’t been, but how else could he have acted? He didn’t know. He hated how things had went. He should’ve lied and told Derek he didn’t have the time for breakfast.

So, when Spencer finally got the hotel, he sat and thought and waited, waited for any sounds outside of his hotel door. Derek’s room was directly across the hall from his. So he waited for the sounds of the door opening, the beeping of the keycard, the sound of footsteps that were muffled by the soft carpet. Anything that would show Derek was back, back close to him, close enough to him for a conversation again. Because he knew that they needed to talk.

~

Spencer was counting. One hour and eighteen minutes passed before he heard any sounds of life that would match what he was waiting for. Namely, he heard the footsteps approach by his door, and then the beep of the keycard. And finally, the door opening and shutting quickly. Derek was there, he was back, Spencer got off his perch on the bed in record speed, exiting out to the hall and crossing quickly.

He was about to knock on the door, hand raised in the air, before he slowed himself down. Was this too much? What if Morgan didn’t want to talk to right now? What if Derek thought he was lying and was mad? Oh god, that terrified Spencer. He hoped Derek knew he wasn’t lying, he could run any behavior test he wanted to, but he wouldn’t lie to Derek. Not now, not ever.

Spencer still had his hand raised in the air, standing directly in front of the door. If Derek thought he was lying, he would prove he wasn’t. Nothing mattered right now, Spencer decided as he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Spencer heard movement from inside the room, before Derek opened the door. He looked stressed, the lines in his face were hard set, this was how he looked when he dealt with an unsub. This isn’t how he should be looking on a day off. Derek said nothing as he looked at Spencer, “Can we talk?” Spencer asked him after it was clear Derek wasn’t going to start talking.

Derek nodded. Wordlessly opening the door more, and stepping back to allow Reid inside. He stepped in, Derek’s room was a mirror copy of Spencer’s, simple and small. He had his duffel sat on the floor by the small twin bed provided by the hotel.

Reid stood in the room, Derek moved past him to sit down on the edge of the bed as Spencer messed with some loose thread on his jacket, “I, um... I got your change..” Spencer started, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the wad of cash and coins. He wasn’t sure what to say now that he was inside Derek’s room. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, so he wasn’t sure how to prepare. Derek wasn’t acting like himself, so he didn’t know what would work.

Spencer went to hand it back to him, “Reid, no.” Derek started, causing Spencer to stop in his tracks, holding the money in silence.

“You didn’t come here for that.” Derek motioned to the money with his hand. “No. I didn’t.” Spencer mumbled awkwardly, shoving it back into his jacket pocket, the coins clinking together all too loudly for his liking.

“I’m sorry.” Derek sighed after a moment, “I shouldn’t have ran off like that. It’s just- I couldn’t believe what you were saying.” Spencer nodded, he wanted to say so much to Derek. He wanted to say, “I swear on my mother I am not lying”, he wanted to say “I’m sorry, I should have stayed quiet” he wanted to say “I care about you so much and I don’t want to see you walk away, I don’t want to lose you”. But Spencer couldn’t talk, he wasn’t sure what would come out if he spoke.

“I, uh, I called Melissa.” Derek told him, “After I left. I called her, I asked her if she said that to you, and she said she didn’t say it like that,” He took a breath before continuing on, “I asked her what she meant, because she wasn’t denying what she said. She just was saying the wording was off.”

Spencer found his small, awkward voice, deciding to look down at the floor instead of Derek. He was scared of what he would see. “What did she say the wording was?” He asked Derek, “She said she was harsher than that, told you to back off. Then she tried to explain herself, as if any of what she did was acceptable and could be fine under the disguise of caring for your significant other.”

“Reid, look at me. Please.” Derek sighed, not continuing whatever else he was going to say. Spencer finally looked up to meet his eyes. Derek just looked tired, leaning awkwardly on the couch, as he kept his gaze on Spencer.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause this.” Spencer apologized, he had no clue if he needed to. But it felt like what he had to do.

“No, don’t.” Derek shook his head, as if to knock the apology out of his brain. “Thank you for telling me. Thank you. The red flags were there, Reid. And there were so many. I was just ignoring them.”

Spencer stayed quiet, watching Derek as he admitted this out loud; “I just- I wanted to make it work. But the fact she said that to you, and was gonna tell garcia, I just-“ Derek shook his head again, a mixture of defeat and anger simultaneously now instead of a signal for reid to stop.

“It upset me. I couldn’t believe it. So I called her and that happened and... and...” Derek trailed off, sighing simply as if that was the end of the sentence.

“...You broke up?” Spencer asked carefully, not wanting to misjudge. Derek nodded, rubbing his face with both hands. He was stressed. Spencer could tell.

“We did. It’s for the best. I can’t be dating someone who is like that. Especially not to you, or Garcia. That’s the biggest deal breaker out there.” Derek spoke, he was still serious but he was also sort of joking in a way to help calm the atmosphere down.

Spencer didn’t respond right away, instead moving to sit down on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from Morgan to give him plenty space. Derek didn’t like that, pulling on Spencer’s hand and motioning him to sit directly by his side.

Spencer complied, but cursed his face for causing a blush to form. This wasn’t the time to savor the feeling of Derek’s strong grip on his hand. It wasn’t.

Spencer was now sat down next to Derek, he wasn’t sure what else to say, so he stayed quiet. But he knew he didn’t want to leave Derek’s side now. He needed to be here. It couldn’t be easy for Derek.

“I’m sorry I left you at the restaurant.” Derek spoke after a while of them sitting side by side. “It’s okay,” Spencer told him, Derek gave him a sideways glance that proved he didn’t believe what he was saying.

“I didn’t end up having breakfast, though. I was worried.” Spencer admitted. Derek let out a low chuckle, and god, Spencer loved that sound. When was the last time he heard it? It used to be as common as hearing traffic in downtown Quantico, but as of lately; he hadn’t heard it often. Spencer knew in the back of his head, it was probably Melissa. Small things had changed with Derek during their time of dating.

First, it was calling Spencer “pretty boy”, and Garcia “baby girl”. Derek stopped saying it, and as much as garcia was worried about him, Derek had assured her he was okay. (Spencer didn’t mind the nickname stopping, as he finally didn’t have to come up with an excuse every time he blushed in front of the team when Derek would call him that.)

But then, Derek showed up to work looking tired, and sure- the job took long hours and restless nights and way too many coffee breaks. But he looked like he was losing that energy in his eyes. The excitement that made him join the team. He had told Spencer it was originally he missed Melissa. But now, Spencer was second guessing that.

Things had slowly changed with Derek, so small that Spencer didn’t even notice fully. But if you looked at all the reasons why he changed, it could be tied back to Melissa.

Good riddance. Spencer thought to himself. In ordinary situations, he would hate to think that, but today he didn’t; as he heard Derek’s soft, low chuckle. He didn’t want to ever stop see Derek being himself. He wouldn’t stop him from anything, he knew he wouldn’t. All he would want to do is care about him, kiss him, fall asleep in his arms, have a nice dinner with him- things a real boyfriend would do.

He would let Derek be himself, he wouldn’t stop him from working, he wouldn’t want to fight, he wouldn’t want to play games, and god knows he wouldn’t stop Derek and Garcia flirting. That’s what kept them happy, together, and secure.

“I’m sorry you guys broke up, but if it’s any consolation. You belong with someone better.” Spencer admitted, not adding on the last part he always wanted to say. If he could say it, lord knows he would. But he couldn’t tell Derek they belonged together. He sounded insane.

Derek softy bumped shoulders with him in an act of thanks, “Thank you. Now c’mon, let’s go get you some real breakfast, pretty boy.” He said as he stood up, the blush immediately rushed back into Spencer’s face. God, that name would be the death of him. He was seriously going to die like this.

“You still got my change? ‘Cause you’re paying.” Derek joked with him as he turned to pull on his coat, “It’s your money, why don’t I give it back to you?” Spencer asked him, the conversation now changing to a much lighter tone. Derek shrugged, “You paying a cashier will help your people skills. Now c’mon, I saw a good restaurant with outdoor seating that’s by a garden. You can give me plant facts while we eat.”

~

“...Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night. I’m the one who makes you laugh when you know you’re ‘bout to cry. And I know your favorite songs and you tell me ‘bout your dreams. Think I know where you belong, think I know it’s with me...”

~

Derek’s growing love for Spencer Reid was so slow he didn’t realize it until it was bursting out of his chest. It wasn’t obvious, it wasn’t, at least not to Derek. But suddenly it was everything Spencer did, it had his attention and captivated his thoughts. If Spencer was rambling about something, Derek would listen. Even if he didn’t care, even if he was tired, or hungry, or even mad.

To put it simply, it was every single thing that Spencer had ever done for him, suddenly making Derek feel something. It was every little funny thing Spencer did, it was every factoid he spat out to the team at the round table, it was how he was there for everyone in less than a second if needed, it was how Spencer complained about modern television, it was how Spencer grumbled in his sleep when they had to wake him up to get off the team’s jet after a long case. It was everything.

Every one of those instances just made something inside Derek squirm. Before, when Derek was dating Melissa- he was able to hold that feeling at bay. But it had now been months since his and Melissa’s breakup, and he had nothing to stop his mind from thinking about Reid, so the feelings and thoughts about the genius only grew stronger.

He thought about him nonstop. About how Reid was precious, amazing, handsome, smart, and god- he was borderline perfect. And what had originally started as a small inkling feeling inside of him was growing, growing into something almost unmanageable. It took everything in Derek not to just lean over and grab the genius’ hand as he was waving it around when speaking about something he was passionate about, and holding it tightly.

It was getting worse, day by day it was hell at work. But it was the best suffering in the world. Seeing Spencer sat at his desk, deep in thought as he typed reports out, along with emailing scientists and doctors on the side. God, Reid was an absolute genius. Morgan wasn’t sure if he could easily get over that fact anymore as he used to. Now Spencer’s smarts had more meaning, and he wasn’t sure why.

Spencer’s smarts always mattered, and definitely came in handy for the team, saving their asses more than once. But now, his IQ level was something Derek caught himself almost worrying about.

Spencer wouldn’t ever say it, but what if he thought Derek was stupid? The brawn to his brain. Nothing more than a dude to tackle the bad guys and handcuff them down. What if Spencer thought he wasn’t a good person, a good friend?

Now, along with the growing admiration, he also had growing fear. Derek was now going back and forth between doubting himself and wanting nothing more than pulling Spencer into a janitors closet and kissing him until they needed air.

Yeah, Derek was screwed. Work was painful. But he wouldn’t stop, he couldn’t. Even if he wanted to, he kept going along, because every day he saw Reid that feeling inside him only grew, and he didn’t have the willpower to stop it, and even if he did- he probably couldn’t. This was the strongest he had ever felt in a long time. It would take an army to stop how he felt (and even then, he might still beat the army).

~

The night it all went down wasn’t what derek intended it to be, he was pretty much planning on hiding his crush on reid to the grave, not admitting it to anyone ever about how he felt. Because as Derek saw it, Spencer was too smart for him. Definitely out of his league.

Because in Morgan’s mind, how dumb could he be? He had been slowly falling in love with his best friend, all while not even realizing it- and dating someone who was absolutely horrid during that entire process. It was enough to make him smack his head against his wall.

~

Derek was working late the night it happened, going over this same dilemma in his head as he finished up the last of his reports to turn over to Hotch.

Nothing was happening in the bullpen, and for the first time in forever, Spencer had left before the work day ended. He had been complaining of a stomachache, and Rossi had smartly deduced he was sick, and even though Reid didn’t want to leave- the team all but kicked him out the door, telling him he wasn’t any good working when feeling like vomiting.

Derek had missed him since he left, he felt stupid admitting that, but it was the plain and simple truth. His days were just better with Reid, and there was no other explanation than that. As stupid as it was, Derek had come to agree with that fact a while ago, and now it was just normal, him missing Reid. But thankfully Reid didn’t leave often enough for it to be bad.

That being said, Derek still worried. Deciding to call Reid, it was only 7 p.m., after all. Surely Reid was still awake.

His cell phone ringed as Derek held it up to his ear, twirling his pen absentmindedly between his index and pointer finger as he waited for Spencer to answer.

And he did, he sounded groggy, but he answered; “Hello?” “Hey, Reid.” Derek spoke, a small stupid smile creeping its way into his face. “How are you feeling?” He asked, he heard Spencer shuffling on the other end of the line, then the faucet running.

“I’m okay... just really dizzy now, so I got myself some water.” “Did you eat enough today?” Derek asked him, changing tones from a concerned friend to something more.

“Yes, I did. You don’t need to worry about my eating.” Reid said simply, he wasn’t the type of guy who liked being watched over. Derek understood why, but this was still necessary.

“Reid, c’mon now. When was the last time you ate?”

“11:23 a.m., Garcia gave me a muffin.” Spencer admitted after a beat of silence, “Reid, you’ve been not eating for almost eight hours- no wonder you felt so sick, man!” Derek said into the phone as he stood up, shrugging his jacket onto his shoulders, deciding to leave now. The reports were almost done, anyway.

“Well, I’m not hungry so it’s fine..” Reid argued weakly in response, “Oh no, no. Don’t even, Spencer. I’m getting you food and taking it to your place. Now go lay down and take some tylenol, drink that water you got.”

Spencer huffed weakly, but made no move to argue or protest Morgan inviting himself over. “Fine. Please get me chicken noodle soup.”

~

As agreed, Derek got Spencer some chicken noodle soup from a great nearby deli Spencer had told him about a while ago. Derek was proud of himself for this choice in food, even if Spencer had requested soup, he hadn’t requested where. And Derek felt smart for remembering one of Spencer’s favorite places.

Derek arrived to Spencer’s apartment, the door was left unlocked so he came in, carrying the container of soup in both of his hands, so he pushed the front door shut gently with his foot.

“Hey, Reid. I’m here,” he called out into the apartment, as he made his way to the bedroom, finding a sleeping Spencer on the bed, covered in a few miscellaneous blankets to keep him warm.

Derek sat the container of soup onto the nearby bedside table, next to spencer’s near empty water glass, before looking down at reid.

Spencer was perfect, regardless if he was awake or asleep. But asleep he was so peaceful, so calm. Derek could so easily keep Spencer safe from everything in his sleep, hold him in his arms and help ground him. He knew Spencer got nightmares, everyone on the team did. But he knew if he was there, he could help, he could make it better.

Spencer was breathing softly, his face looked slightly flushed, and his hair was all over the place, some strands had fallen onto his face directly, which Derek gently pushed out of the way to get a better look at Spencer.

“Mmm..” Spencer mumbled in his sleep, a response to Derek touching him, Derek took a sharp breath in. God, he wanted to just tell Spencer right now he felt, he so badly did. And Spencer was asleep, what was stopping him? He could say it and Spencer wouldn’t remember. Because unlike conscious Spencer, unconscious Spencer didn’t remember things.

So before his brain could catch up to his body, he did. “I love you.” He told Spencer softly, it was barely above a whisper. It was so quiet he was sure Spencer didn’t hear it at all, but it was just Derek’s unfortunate luck that Spencer started to stir.

“Hm?” He asked, sitting up slowly, Derek pulled his hand away from where he had tucked the strand of hair away.

“I said, I brought you soup.” Derek lied easily, hoping that “I love you” and “I brought you soup” were interchangeable sounding sentences. Spencer just nodded, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes slowly as he turned to look at the container on his bedside table

He didn’t suspect anything, Derek let a breath of relief out internally as Spencer reached for the container. “It didn’t come with a spoon, so I’ll go get you one.” Derek told him, getting up to go back into Spencer’s kitchen and grab a spoon from the silverware drawer.

When Derek came back, Spencer was more awake, holding the container of soup in his hands expectantly as he waited. Derek handed him the spoon wordlessly, before sitting down on the bed next to Spencer. “How are you feeling?” Derek asked him, as Spencer hadn’t tried out the soup yet (he was waiting for it to cool a bit more.) “Tired- sorry I left, by the way.” Reid responded slowly, he still felt the tiniest bit groggy.

Derek shook his head, “No Reid, don’t apologize. Are you feeling any better?” Spencer nodded slowly in response, starting to stir the soup to help it cool down. Derek watched him, the soft light from the only lamp on in the room casted off shadows throughout the walls and onto Spencer. He looked beautiful, even if he was wearing pajamas and his hair was messy and he was stirring his soup while half awake.

To Derek, he looked perfect. And once again, Derek’s body moved too fast for his brain to catch up with. He was suddenly talking; “Reid, can I tell you something?” He asked the tired genius, who just nodded and gave an “Mhm” sound in return as he continued to stir his soup.

Derek breathed in, he couldn’t go back. It was now or never. He turned to face Spencer, and if he hated him after this, so be it.

“I was an idiot, Spencer. When I was with Melissa, searching for a good moment to stay happy about was rare. But the entire time I’ve known you, everything’s been a good moment. Every opportunity I’ve had with you has let me grow and become smarter, and a better person..” he took a second to look back at Spencer, who was now looking at him with an expression he couldn’t read.

“But I’ve still been stupid. Because the entire time I was with her, I only looked forward to being with you. I missed the best thing right in front of me, and I hope you know that I am not normally this dense... but..” this was the hardest part of his whole speech, how the fuck was he supposed to admit something like this?

“But,” he started again, “I like you, Reid. I really like you. This entire time I was chasing the wrong person and following dead leads, like a rookie on a new case. But I realize the only person that makes me feel anything is you- and... I think, I- no. I am. I am falling for you. And I don’t even know if you like guys but-“ It was by this point Spencer put his soup down back on his bedside table, the soft sound shut Derek up easily.

“You’re falling for me?” Spencer asked, just simply clarifying what he had said. Morgan nodded, standing by it. “Yes. I am.”

Spencer breathed out a sigh of relief, something Derek hadn’t expected him to do. “You aren’t stupid... I- um. I’ve been falling for you too.”

That made Derek light up instantly, “You have?” Spencer nodded sheepishly, staring down at his fingernails instead of Derek. “I wasn’t expecting you to...” Spencer mumbled, as if that was a sufficient enough explanation on his part on why he was relieved and surprised.

“It just snuck up on me. I can’t get you out of my head, you’re all I want.” Derek admitted, more brashly than he would’ve liked to phrased things. But that didn’t seem to bother Spencer at all, as he started to lean forward slowly, Derek leaned forward too, reaching up to put his hand on the side of Spencer’s face to help him stay steady. Their lips were inches apart, but Spencer spoke. “Derek, I want to kiss you so bad. But if I’m sick I don’t want to risk infecting you-“

“Pretty boy, I’m breathing your air already. And I don’t think you have the flu, just low blood sugar.” Derek told him, which quickly shushed Reid up. They leaned forward more, and all the feelings of angst and dread that had built up between the two disintegrated as their lips touched slowly.

It was a soft kiss, a chaste one. But there definitely was passion behind it. Morgan stayed close to Spencer, resting his forehead against his.

“I belong with you...” Derek mumbled, he didn’t care if Spencer heard it anymore. He should hear it, he deserved to hear it. He deserved to know he was the only one Derek wanted.

Spencer pulled back, a small smile playing on his lips the entire time. “I can’t believe it...” he mumbled to Derek after a moment. “You should. You said it yourself, I belong with someone better. And it’s you. I just hope you agree.” Derek told him honestly, not leaving anything he said to chance. Spencer nodded, “Yes- you belong with me. Absolutely, yes. I agree.”

Derek smiled, pushing a loose strand of hair back behind spencer’s ear, before leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on Spencer’s forehead. “You eat that soup, I’ll go get you some more water.”

———————————————————————

[deepperplexity]

Prompt: 1. Mistletoe 

A/N: The first day of SNAPEMAS! I'm so excited! I hope you will enjoy this and join me for SNAPEMAS with your creations!

Setting: Hogwarts

Pairing: Snape x Teacher!Reader

ABBR.: │(y/l/n) - Your Last Name │

Word count: 1728

Warnings: Kissing, a few harsh words

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // SNAPEMAS POST

December had arrived and you were, like many, overjoyed at the nearing holiday. Christmas was closing in, your favourite holiday and this year you'd spend it at Hogwarts just as you had in your youth. It was all so exciting; you could barely contain yourself as the day swiftly passed.

Hogwarts was slowly transforming into a winter-wonder-castle. It was absolutely wonderful to behold. Hagrid lumbering trees into the Great Hall, Flitwick and McGonagall hanging up garlands and decorations of all kinds. You yourself forming warm ice over pillars to make them glisten and sparkle. You did have a weakness for sparkling things; you had to admit that.

As dinner started you took your seat next to McGonagall. "Isn't it wonderful?" you chimed excitedly with happy eyes and a giddy smile. "Oh, I do agree, Ms/Mr (y/l/n)." McGonagall seemed as happy as you about the nearing holiday. "I can't wait to decorate my own space," you said as food appeared, "I have so many ideas!" you squealed as you picked up your utensils and was just about to tell McGonagall of your plans when a rumbling voice cut through the air.

"Do not forget, Ms/Mr (y/l/n), that it needs to be cleaned up after as well." You would have known that voice anywhere. That humming growl of a sneering man. Professor Snape, the dark brooding man with the grim expression and the deep onyx eyes that absolutely mesmerized you each and every time you peered into them. "Oh, pish-posh," you said without letting his somewhat deflating comment get to you, "that's a problem for January, professor, not December," you continued with a wide smile; as if you were trying to smile enough for the both of you. Why? You had no clue, but you wanted to see the man smile more.

Professor Snape simply huffed and gave a slight sneer before he headed off towards his seat on the other side of McGonagall. You shrugged and stabbed the food on your plate as you began to devour the meal while McGonagall talked about essays and whatnot. Your mind were more on the garlands, the glitter, the trees and Christmas stars you were planning to decorate with after dinner. After all, the dungeons could use some colour and warmth. Even if it were only your own quarters. Perhaps I'll decorate the hallway too, it could use some jolly cheer...

The rest of the dinner you ate and chatted with McGonagall as you sneaked a peek at Snape from time to time. he looked as stoic as ever. But he seemed to be listening in on the conversation as he shook his head from time to time or the corners of his lips tugged upwards a tad.

Christmas carols played on the radio, you hummed and danced around as you decorated your living quarters with swift flicks of your wand. The music grew ever louder as you kept raising the volume as you got more and more into the giddy mood. "And up you go," you sang out as you raised the fifth garland with glitter and silver balls tied to it with your wand. "Damdi-do, damdi-da, la, la, laa, la-la-laa" you sang to yourself as a muggle carol spewed loudly from the little radio and you waltz around the area. "And pop, there you go, and pop, pop, pop," you said in a jolly voice as you hung som bells in the ceiling.

A loud banging was suddenly heard from the door. You knitted your brows, what in the world- you thought as you walked over with rushed steps as the banging grew ever louder. Harsher. It appeared whoever was at the other side was trying, with all their might, to bang down the whole damn door apparently.

You opened it with a rushed tug and was met with a furious Professor Snape on the other side. "Keep that infernal noise down!" he growled with a sneer as he leaned towards you in his towering way. You simply tilted your head. "It's Christmas music, Snape," you stated flatly, unmoved by his anger as the man never did anyone any actual harm. Despite what everyone else seemed to think of him. "I know what it is," he snarled before he stalked in with long strides. His boot-clad feet pounded the stone floor.

He turned the radio down until barely any sound came from it and you knitted your brows, a bit agitated. You walked over to him and simply turned up the volume again. "My quarters, my choice," you simply stated as you crossed your arms over your chest. Snape raised an eyebrow and then sneered yet again as he turned the radio down once more. "My house, my rules," he drawled. You huffed and raised the volume again. "Holiday spirit, holiday music," you stated as you turned the volume even higher.

Snape huffed and you stared at him, challenged him yet again as none other appeared to do. His eyes endlessly deep and your chest tightened as thoughts of lonely Christmases and jolly-free holidays crossed your mind. He seemed burdened and lonely where he stood amidst all of your decorations - that frankly covered every surface in your space.

He lowered the volume again, "you are distracting the students." You gave the man a huff and rolled your eyes. "You're being ridiculous! I am not distracting anybody," you said and raised the volume once more, "Some people enjoy the holidays you know, just because you don't like it doesn't mean you get to ruin it for anybody else!" Your voice rose and rose as you spewed out the words toward the grim man who seemed to grow even angrier at you. He turned the radio off completely and then stalked out of the room.

You gaped at the door he had slammed shut before you huffed loudly, "the gal of that man!" You started the radio and raised the volume all the way up before you added an amplification spell and the music roared out of the little speaker. I'll teach you not to mess with my holiday spirit! A content smile spread across your lips as you quickly went to the door and pulled it open so the music spewed out in the hallway. A few doors down was Severus office and his door opened a mere second later as you stood in the hallways with a satisfied smirk. I'm not giving in that easily, you thought to yourself as he stormed towards you with a look of disdain and contempt all over that beautiful face of his.

You took precisely two steps toward him, a plan formed in your mind in that very moment. A plan that ought to teach him a lesson but also gave you the chance to finally do what you had dreamed of for months. "Will you turn that infernal racket down?!" he hollered in such a thunderous voice you actually trembled a bit. He was an intimidating man but you were more stubborn than a kniffler holding on to gold.

You waited, patiently as he took the last steps that were needed for him to meet you in the hallway. "You are impossible, will you turn that awful sound down (y/l/n)?!" he shouted over the loud music. You stood still, you needed him to take one more step. Just one more step and the little joke you had planned for students would give you your chance. "(y/l/n)?! Turn it-" There, he took that last step and you smiled with wicked glee. Despite your heart hammering and the twisting your stomach was doing.  

Before he could react, before you got cold feet, you raised up on your toes, grabbed the collar of his cloak and pressed your lips to his in a flurry of rushed movements. You kissed him harshly, deeply, despite him not answering back you pushed against him for nearly five seconds. You felt lightheaded, you couldn't hear the music any longer and his lips against yours were heavenly soft.

He was stiff as a rock, rigid as a mountain. As you leaned back and gave him soft smile, your cheeks blushed but you held his eyes locked in yours for a second before you glanced up with a little grin. "Mistletoe," you said softly as the amplification spell wore off and the volume lowered enough for it to not be blasted through the hallway any longer. He said nothing. He just gaped at you. His eyes bewildered, his body as frozen as an icicle. Well, at least he shut up. The thought made you both happy and sad as you had desperately hoped he would kiss you back.

But, perhaps you had misread him. The little smiles, the long looks, the nightly patrols - all the talking of everything from potions to favourite seasons - and all the late nights working together in his office. Perhaps, it meant nothing to him. Even though it meant the world to you as you had in fact fallen deeply in love with the dark man.

You kept the smile on your face as you let go of his collar and made to turn around. "I'll keep the music down," you said and your voice was a tad sad. Both for his non-response and the fact that you couldn't quite enjoy the holiday - your favourite holiday - in the way you wished.

In an instance is hand grabbed your wrist, he swung you around and back towards him. You had no time to even gasp before his hands cradled your face and his lips smashed desperately against your own. You melted and your response was instant.  You kissed, deeply. His hands trembled as your knees felt weak.

When he eventually leaned back and broke the contact you were breathing hard. He chuckled and a tight smile lingered on his lips. Your chest hammered as his thumb stroked once, twice, across your jawline. "Mistletoe," he said in that soft, almost purring, voice of thunder and you could have sworn his eyes twinkled as a decorated Christmas tree for you. Perhaps this Christmas would be nothing like you had imagined, but a thousand times better. You melted into his embrace as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do as he kissed you once more under the glimmering mistletoe.

IT IS FINALLY HERE! SNAPEMAS TIME!

This is the first prompt and I had so much fun writing this - I really hope you enjoyed this one and I am hoping I'll be able to do all of the prompts I came up with for this Snapemas - hoping!

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // SNAPEMAS POST

Tags: @lizlil​  Want to be tagged in my Masterlist or for Snapemas? Please tell me! :D 

[Dec:2020]

[spookyold-saintjm]

I [Don’t] Wanna Be Free - Part 5

AHWM Yancy x female reader

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Warnings: Swearing, violence, mentions of death, and shit that just doesn’t make sense sometimes because that’s how the AHWM world operates. ~just some angsty fluff~ DESCRIPTIONS OF BLOOD AND VIOLENCE IN THIS ONE!!!

A/N: The big finale! Thanks oh so much to everyone who has been following along; I wasn’t quite sure where this was going to go, just that I wanted to try my hand at finally writing about the egos, and what better way than our boy Yancy? I definitely want to write more, but I’m still deciding how I want to approach it (taking requests or whatnot). I have some prompts that I’m working on next, but I definitely want to do more of my own Yancy stuff soon! Let me know what you thought and if you have any other ideas! My asks are always open :) Much love.

_______________________________________________________________________

Oh. Oh, no.

How had he known? How had he gotten in without either of you noticing? You cautiously walked toward him as he simultaneously made his way toward you, the both of you stopping only inches from each other in the middle of the yard.

“You lied to me.” he said simply, tapping the small backpack you were wearing. You let out a long sigh, nodding, and reached behind you to remove the box from your bag. You held it tightly with both hands, as you took a few steps back from Mark, whose eyes were now flashing between you and Yancy, now next to you.

“Wait, I remember him…this is what you’ve been doing this whole time?!” Mark’s voice rose quickly, and you tried to rest a hand on his arm, to calm him down, but he jerked away from your touch. “We managed to get out of this place, after your stupid decisions, and you’ve been coming back to fuck around with some brick-headed bastard with a fake accent?"

“The fuck did youse just call me?!” Yancy’s fists clenched tight at his waist, and you saw from the corner of your eye that he was essentially positioned to tackle Mark to the ground if he made the wrong move. 

“I don’t want no trouble in my home, y’hear me?” he said through clenched teeth. “Youse best get outta here.”

You stepped between them and spoke up, telling them both to calm down. Trying to explain to Mark you were sorry for not turning over the box sooner, that you’d didn’t know what had gotten into you.

Mark shook his head. “We’d built up years of trust, y/n. We’ve always swore we’d have each others’ backs, because we both know what it’s like to be in this shithole life alone. But you lied to my face over and over about the absolute biggest thing we’ve ever done! Do you have ANY idea what I, what we, are capable of doing with that box??”

You frowned and narrowed your eyes at him. It was about more than having the key, wasn’t it?

“Of course it’s more than the key!” Mark seethed. You felt Yancy protectively grab your hand and start to pull you behind him. You planted yourself firm, hardly let him budge you, and instead took a step forward to glare back at Mark and question him further.

“It’s my chance to START OVER!” Mark was all but shouting, and you knew for certain that security guards will be on their way any moment to end this for all of you. You’d never seen Mark like this. You forced down the bile rising in your throat and started to shout back, with no point in hiding, demanding that Mark tell you what the hell was talking about.

“Everything was ruined for me! Some time ago. My life was suddenly meaningless, thanks to those bastards—well, it doesn’t matter who they are now.” Mark’s voice lowered as he let out a short sigh. “The point is, sure there's the key, but that’s only one piece of the puzzle. The box itself a device that can, if in the right hands, manipulate time as we know it. We can go back, go forward, hell, we can jump to completely different timelines and planes or reality if we want! Don’t you want to fix the mistakes you made? All the shit you did that got you here?? You know damn well this isn’t where we belong."

The creeping fear you’d always had of him had finally broke to the surface. It took all you had not to begin to tremble. Whatever had happened to him, whatever he was trying to do, it definitely wasn’t good. You instantly regretted every little thing you’d told him. He’d discovered it all. And you suddenly knew exactly why you’d never fully trusted him.

You shook your head. No, you’d ended up where you were for a reason. You knew he was hurt, but tampering with time and space was so, so dangerous, and neither one of you were qualified...

“You don’t get it. I have to go back.” Mark wrung his hands together. "I have to fix it. I wasn’t supposed to be on this side of things, I wasn’t supposed to be here! I was supposed to be with her, and they—"

“Look, buddy,” Yancy had waited long enough and now jumped in, suddenly face-to-face with Mark. “I may not know what the goddamn fuck youse is talking about, but you sound like youse is one authentic, grade-A screwball.” Yancy stabbed a finger into Mark's chest. “So why don’t you back off my girl n'shove that box up youse’s uptight little—”

You heard the sound before you saw it. Mark knocked Yancy to the ground, hard. Blood was spattered across his nose and along his cheek. Yancy groaned but quickly recovered and was standing again, but Mark had turned his attention back to you, lunging at you to grab the box from your hands. You swerved and turned just long enough to chuck the box as far across the yard as you could, launching yourself back at Mark in retaliation. The both of you hit the ground, and you screamed for Yancy to take the box and get rid of it.

“I’m not going anywheres!” Yancy yelled back, but stumbled the first couple steps he took towards you, his head still spinning. In the meantime, you and Mark were in a struggle, the sound of fists connecting with bones crackling through the air as the two of you struggled for an advantage. You battled back and forth, exchanging blows. Eventually Mark had flipped you onto your back, prepared to swing the final hit that would knock you unconscious, but you managed to knee him in the stomach and quickly stand before he could touch you. You kicked your leg upward as he rose, but your timing was just barely off, your boot only narrowly missing his neck. 

You begged Yancy to go again as you threw a swift right hook to Mark’s jaw, knocking him back a bit. He turned back to you, the both of you now a few feet apart.

“Y/n, I don’t want to hurt you. You know that, right?” Mark said between heavy gasps for air, and you saw his hand move just enough from behind his back to reveal the knife he’d kept concealed in his back pocket. “But I need that box.”

You gritted your teeth at him, tasting the familiar copper of blood that had smeared across your face from somewhere on your head. You could only barely see out of your right eye, and a strange sensation in your ribcage told you something wasn’t right there, either. And you had nothing to defend yourself with. Not this time. 

Stupid. Stupid. The two of you stood still, assessing what the other’s next move might be, when suddenly you realized…

Where was Yancy? You weren’t foolish enough to look around, but you prayed to anyone who might be listening that he’d gone to do something about the box. You had to buy him some time.

You tried to talk to Mark one last time, tried to convince him that there was still a way to get out of this. They could end it here, go home and start over in the morning. They could figure something out.

Mark shook his head and let out an amused sigh. “No, it’s too late for that. You know what we have to do, y/n. We have to get out of here."

As he spoke, you prepared to strike.

You lunged toward him, swinging your legs to knock him off his feet again just as you felt the sharp sting of the blade slice along the length of your arm. You had no time to process the sharp pain, only to grab Mark’s arm that held the knife and hold it back as hard as you could; he had managed to pin you down. Your hands were shaking with the force of restraining him, and he didn’t budge as he dangled the knife over your throat. You knew that, while you were more agile, Mark was stronger than you by far, and you couldn’t hold him much longer now that he’d managed to overtake you. You begged your body to find the strength to do something, anything, but you were losing your grip, fast. You closed your eyes and willed yourself to attempt to shove Mark off of you with a final push of adrenaline-fueled strength.

But you didn’t have to. 

You suddenly heard Mark suck in a loud gasp for air, followed by several sputtering, choking noises. His grip on you loosened, and his knife fell to the grass beside you. You didn’t dare move, not even when Mark was flipped over onto his back by someone standing overhead, not even when that person stood over you with a switchblade just small enough to conceal in a prison uniform, and his arms came back down to shove the blade into Mark’s chest, again, and again, and again.

You let out a cry and forced yourself to your feet, pulling Yancy with you, pleading him to stop, stop, that’s enough, ENOUGH.

Yancy didn’t take his eyes off Mark, as if he were making absolutely sure he wouldn’t move again. You yelled his name, and shook him by his shoulders to try to snap him out of it.

Yancy shook his head, as if he were suddenly waking up, and turned to you. He sucked in a sharp breath and dropped his weapon to the ground. He grabbed you by the arms as his eyes frantically scanned over you. “Y/n, are you okay?! Oh God, you got a lotta blood goin' all over youse. We gotta go. Can you walk? Can you—"

You shoved off of him and spun back around to stare at the ground below you. Mark’s breaths had stilled, blood still running from his chest.

Yancy seemed to realize just as you did what had happened, and panicked breaths began to force their way out of his throat. 

“Oh no, oh fuck, I did it again, it’s happening again…” He sunk to the ground on his knees, frantically searching Mark’s body for any sign of life, all the while muttering to himself in panic. “The warden’s really gonna be mad at me now, I gotta go tell him it was an accident before he—"

As if on cue, a horde of security guards with flashlights and guns drawn stormed the yard, shouting at you and Yancy to put your hands on your head and lie on the ground. What choice did you have?

The box, you asked Yancy before the guards could make it over, the both of you lying on your stomachs on the cold, blood-stained grass. Had he gotten the box? Where was it?

“I…it was gone. It was gone, and I turns around and sees, he was gonna hurt you real bad, y/n, and I—oh, god.” He squinted his eyes shut and kept muttering. You closed your eyes too, and just hoped that whatever was going to happen, it would all be over fast.

“Yancy m’boy, what the goddamn hell is going on out here???” It was unusual for Murder-Slaughter to be at the prison at such a late hour, but his recognizable drawl carried through the night as he and the multiple security guards formed a circle around the scene.

“Warden!" Yancy started, what almost sounded like a nervous laugh escaping his chest. “There was a misunderstanding, you sees, and we, well, I, this guy was gonna—”

“Wait a minute, wait a MINUTE.” The warden leaned down to look scan your face, his eyes lighting up in recognition. “You’re the one that got away from us! And he’s—“ he turned to Mark’s body, wincing slightly, “well, was, your little partner in crime! I couldn’t forget either of your faces if I tried!"

Your chest was so tight you were struggling to breathe, but you remained silent and unmoving as you heard Yancy speak up again, trying to explain what was going on.

“I don’t wanna HEAR it, boy!” the warden nudged Yancy in the ribs with his boot, a warning. “Yancy, son, I had hopes for you, you know. I really did. But you just had to keep on lettin’ me down.” 

“Warden,” Yancy’s voice broke, growing more quiet the longer he talked “I’m sorry, I really am, but youse just don’t seem to understand—”

“I understand just fine,”  the warden looked at a couple of the bigger guards in the circle and jerked his head toward Yancy, a silent order to restrain him. The guards lifted him onto his feet as he’d finally grown quiet. You felt the sudden jerk of arms lifting you as well, and the now-familiar sensation of handcuffs snapped across your wrists behind your back. Orders were exchanged that you didn’t quite understand, but you suddenly realized you and Yancy were being pulled away from the scene.

In opposite directions.

“No, no! Where are youse taking her?! She didn’t do anything! Please—“ Yancy was still shouting, begging the guards to let him go, to let you go.

“Y/n! Y/n, I won’t let ‘em hurt you. I won’t! I promise. I’ll find a way outta this, I always do!”

The tears in your eyes were falling freely now, and you didn’t dare look away from him, but you remained silent. You knew there was no use. You simply watched him struggle against the pull of the guards dragging him across the yard...

Until they suddenly weren’t. 

In fact, they weren’t moving. No one was. It was as if…time had stopped, for everyone, but you.

“It’s a shame, isn’t it?”

A low voice echoed through the night air, the syllables drifting down around you. A low buzz began to thrum through your ears, and you slowly scanned the yard in front of you to find the source.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when a man in a white suit suddenly appeared in the few yards of space that had grown between you and Yancy. His raven hair was messy, his eyes dark underneath as if he hadn’t slept in some time. Yet his appearance otherwise was almost regal, and otherworldly. Your eyes could have been playing tricks on you, but he seemed to be fairly outlined in an aura of red and blue.

Although the guards on either side of you were wholly frozen in the spot, their grip on you remained strong despite your efforts to pull away, to run.

The man took agonizingly slow steps toward you, and you eventually scrounged up enough power in your voice to ask him who he was. The man stopped short, and frowned. He appeared almost…disappointed.

“You don’t remember me?” His head tilted to one side, and his form seemed to abruptly fade in and out of your vision. “Perhaps you have spent too long here, after all.”

You said nothing, too taken aback by the very sight of him.

He eyed you up and down for the quickest instance, waiting for you to respond. When you remained silent, he let out a sigh and slowly shook his head. “No matter. I suppose I expected as much."

Suddenly he wasn’t no longer in front of you, but was standing beside Yancy, his body frozen as well, mouth open in the middle of calling your name. The man reached a hand out toward him, mockingly tracing a finger down the cut on his cheek, under his chin. “Handsome, isn’t he?” the man mused, leaning to peer into Yancy’s eyes. You mentally willed Yancy to move, to snap out of whatever trance he was under, but of course he remained still.

“If I would have known you would have fallen for him so easily,” the man stated, peering at you over his shoulder, "I would have arranged your meeting so much sooner. Admittedly, I'm a bit…jealous. Don’t worry, though. We can keep him around, if you’d like."

You wanted to scream, but the sound wouldn’t come. Your throat was on fire, and your chest felt like it would cave in at any moment. You managed to ask the man what he wanted, what was going on. Was this about the box?

He was now only a few feet away from you, his hands behind his back. He let out a soft chuckle. “You mean this silly thing?”

He pulled a hand in front of his body to reveal the box. With his other hand he turned the lid, lifting it with a light click. A faint glow from the inside illuminated the man’s pale face.

“It’s a nice little toy. Useful…” He softly replaced the lid. “But not nearly as useful, however, as you.”

With a snap of his fingers, the box vanished. You suddenly felt the urge to look down, and gasped when you saw Mark’s dead, bloodied body resting at your feet, his eyes open and staring blankly into the sky overhead. 

“You see now, that your friend wasn’t who he always said he was. That he wasn’t to be trusted.” 

You suppressed a cry of horror as Mark’s body disintegrated in front of you, flesh and bone fading to dust, then to nothing at all. 

“Believe it or not,” he added, “this isn’t the first time you’ve come to that realization.”

He stood directly in front of you now and the guards disappeared from beside you. Your handcuffs were gone as well, but you were locked into place as the man in front of you gently took your hands into his. 

“My darling y/n…” he leaned forward, his mouth mere inches from yours, a long smirk dancing along his lips. “…we have so much to discuss."

_______________________________________________________________________

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[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

On Top

*Not my Gif*

Request: 1, 5 and 10 with Sirius Black? For the prompts 💕

Requested By: @lessthanaverageslytherin

1. “Leave, preferably before I kill you.”

5. “You can’t save me. I’m already Dead.”

10. “You’re lying. Why are you lying? What aren’t you telling me?”

Post Date: 6-10-19

Paring: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 1.3K

A/N: Hey guys! I have about 10 things I’m working on right now, so if you have requested something or want to request something I’m willing to write it, but it might be a while. Sorry! I’m loving your requests though! They’re so good! Let me know what you think of this and my other pieces.

- Ria

~Prompt List~

~Master List~

~Open Requests~

The thunder echoed throughout the late morning as you slept, unfazed to the noises around you. Your mind was racing the day before as you took test after test. The end of the year was your least favorite time, not only was it packed with tests and whatnot, but you had to say goodbye to your friends. You grew close to the Marauders over the years and Lily Evans as well. She became your best friend and you became hers. You shared secrets, for example you knew Lily really liked James and even though she keeps saying no to his advances she’s going to say yes eventually, and she knew how in love with Sirius Black you were, but of course you would never admit it. He was one of your best friends. Lily always tells you that he felt the same, but you never agreed. He would joke around with you, mess with a few people with you, and is always there to make you laugh, but you convinced yourself that it was all based on friendship. But now as you slept soundly, Sirius was sneaking his way up to your room right now.

​You were still asleep as your door crept opened, Sirius’ frame coming into your view, had you been awake. He stifled his laughter as he got closer to your bed, watching your sleeping form for a few lingering seconds before shaking his head, trying to get you out of his head as he jumped onto your bed, crushing you as you let out a groan at his impact.

“What the hell?” You mumbled as you tried to move underneath him, still unware of what was on you until he started laughing. “Ughh Pads. Really? Leave, preferably before I kill you.” your voice was low as you mumbled, yawning at the end causing your statement causing the toughness in your fate to fade as he just continued laughing, making no effort to move.

“Oh, come on Y/N, Class starts soon, and Lilly said you were still sleeping. I was sent up to save you from missing it.” He said as he finally got off you, pulling your lazy arms so you were sitting up. He stared at you as your eyes remained closed, a frown gracing your face as you groaned.

“You can’t save me. I’m already dead.” you muttered before slamming your upper body back into the bed as you pulled the cover over your face. You heard Sirius let out a sigh before jumping on top of you, straddling you as he pulled the blanket down. He glanced down at you as you finally opened your eyes staring into his.

“Hi.” He whispered while a smile made its way across his face as he stood over you. You couldn’t control the blush on your face as you stared up at him.

“Hi…” you said back before you gave him a smirk. “You know, typically in this position the girls on top.” His eyes widened as he smirked back, hands falling on both sides of your head as he leant down a little, causing your breathing to fluctuate. He noticed.

“Well, love, aren’t we cocky.” He said before you started bursting out laughing. He soon joined you as he fell onto the bed next to you. You were still laughing but now having to sit up along with him to be able to breath and an idea popped into his head. He quickly turned you around and you were facing him before he grabbed your waist and pulling you onto him. Your laughing ceased as your eyes met his once more. You were no longer smiling as wide as before but it was still there, as was the not-so-subtle blush dusting your cheeks. Sirius just looked at you, unfathomed by how good you looked when you just woke up. His hands fell onto your hips as he grinned up at you. “Much better.”

​You felt like you weren’t breathing, legs spread as you straddled Sirius. Everything in your mind was telling you to move, to not let your feelings take control as you looked at the boy you believed could never like you like you wanted. Your mind was put on halt as Sirius leant up, capturing your lips in his as you kissed back, hands falling onto the boys’ chest. You were shocked, unsure of what exactly was happening as you felt your heart begin to flutter. When you pulled apart you couldn’t help the laughter that escaped.

“Padfoot… What the hell was that?” you breathed out, words light as his smile faltered for a second. He pulled his hands of your hips and ran one through his hair as the other fell to his side. You didn’t dare move, not wanting to interrupt this moment.

“I-I’m sorry. I just- You were- You looked so beautiful, I couldn’t control myself.” He stammered out as your eyes went wide. You never heard Sirius to stutter, he’s always been so good with talking, especially with girls. Which then led you to be shocked that he was stuttering over you. You grabbed his hand that was in his hair and placed it back onto your waist as his other hand followed suit. You gave him a smile before leaning into him again as he leant up to you for the second kiss this morning. This time when he pulled apart, he caressed your cheek before laughing, which causes you to freeze.

“W-what? Was it that bad?” you asked nervous for the answer. He quickly shook his head no as he moved you a little, so he could sit up.

“No! No! Nothing like that. I was laughing at the fact that you might be my favorite person I’ve ever kissed.” His smile was contagious as you blush harder than before. “What about you Y/N? How was it snogging me?” he questioned as you smile wavered a little before you regained yourself. You looked into his eyes before looking down, nodding your head deciding not to say anything. His brows furrowed as he looked a little hurt that you obviously didn’t think the same as him. “You’re lying. Why are you lying? What are you not telling me?” his voice was soft and quiet as pulled your chin up to look at him. You felt your mind speeding up as his eyes bore into yours.

“I’m not. I’m not lying… I just… You were my favorite person I’ve ever kissed… because you are the only person I’ve ever kissed.” You whispered so quiet you were unsure whether or not he heard you. But when he pulled you back in for another kiss you knew he had.

“Well love, I’m glad because I don’t plan on anyone else doing this with you.” he said as you chuckled at his words. You moved to sit next to him, laying back onto the bed as you draped an arm over his stomach and your head fell onto his chest. He wrapped an arm around your back as the other tangled with your fingers. You felt content as you cuddled with him, you pressed up against his side and him giving your forehead little kisses. Without knocking, Lily took it upon herself to check up on you and Sirius who was supposed to get you 20 minutes ago.

“Y/N! Sirius? What the hell? You’re going to be late for- oh… um ok. I’ll just tell McGonagall you’re both sick then… Uh. Yeah. Have fun. But not too much fun! This is my room too, you know.” She said before swiftly closing the door, leaving Sirius and you laughing as you heard Lily’s voice through the walls as she yelled to all your friends. “They did it! They’re together!”

FEEDBACK IS WELCOMED!!

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[advernia]

the world in her heart, her heart in his hands

assorted sidenotes for the fic i made in response to an anon-sent aesthetic prompt! oooh boy, i sure took long on this one lmao...... _(:3 」∠)_

prompt #7: steady notes coming from a guitar nearby, fireflies dancing around the clearing, two sleeping bags close together, and a bright full moon briefly covered by a cloud.

so the core idea i had when i saw that prompt got requested was based on jonah’s say i do! route: he says that one day, he wanted to go to the land of reason + see the place alice was born and raised. tbh idk how the prompt even led me to that, but the imagery vibes i got from the prompt hinted of something like freedom. or something like lovers secretly meeting in the woods, which i sort of went by.

OKAY SO I SWEAR I FINISHED WRITING THE PROMPT (day zero!!!) EARLY (by my standards) LMAO.............. like, maybe a week after i got the ask or so? but then when i went about proofreading it i felt that it was... lacking??? i can’t explain it myself, but i didn’t wanna post it yet until i got that feeling cleared out - i tried revising + adding, but it didn’t help so i just started thinking about expanding the fic instead...

thinking about the scenes really took longer than i thought?!?!?! i wanted this request up early but i was stumped on what kind of scenes i wanted to see + how their lengths were gonna be.... plus i was thinking if i should go solely on narration + description........ or maybe more of dialogue...... then i jumped to holy shit what’s my timeline gonna be what cultural whatnot am i gonna emphasize and i think i fussed over those aspects rather than picturing the actual scenes LMAOOO.......................

great disclaimer: i have NEVER stepped into the uk..... or england + london for that matter ahahaha GET REKT tho i want to someday huehuehue....... i heavily relied my research on maps + history websites + train timetables to help me get through the touring parts so do forgive me if i messed up somewhere + butchered history haha..... i was thinking to make things vague, but since i’m always in for emphasizing the differences between cradle + land of reason, i decided to get a little technical with it......

i have to admit that i wrote most of the fic during breaks in work hELLA RAD........... i’m doing my job properly, i swear........ it’s just that when i already have a stable idea of what i want to happen, the scene becomes clearer in my mind. i wanted so! badly! to add scenes of jonah pronouncing words and looking at various things funny!!! jonah and his attempts to communicate with londoners!!! fussy jonah poking around a boutique, him being fascinated + studying displays of gun shops, or him accidentally offending the royal guard + constables LMAOOOOO but i couldn’t seem to write anything satisfactory involving those ideas........... ಥ_ಥ

back to the issue of timeline, i was picturing the london in this fic to be around the 1860s or smth.... but then i remembered that in edgar’s dramatic end letter, he mentions his fascination with electricity aka lightbulbs......... which were, like...... discovered early 1800s but only became common in 1882 ahahaha....... when i realized this i was already writing day 18 oOOPS so i just decided to go on and wing it I’M SORRY _(:3 」∠)_

on timeframe, i know that it’s very highly unlikely that jonah would take a vacation for two months. i bet the mere concept of a one-month vacation is enough to give him a heart attack LMAOOOO but let’s just say that red army told him to take his time in the land of reason, especially when they learn that jonah plans to formally meet alice’s parents. when he hears about this, lancelot tosses in the suggestion of proposing to alice while they’re in the land of reason, so that jonah can tell her parents about that too. jonah thinks it’s a fantastic idea..... so he decides to accept hot damn, a two month vacation!

whole route & lengths of stay (points streaked with red are mentioned within the fic minus nottingham whoops sorry):

london [16 days bc IT’S A BIG CITY LMAO (day 30 - 14). rides a morning train going to bristol on the 14th, arrives there midday.]

bristol [5 days (day 14 - 9). leaves bristol on the morning of the 9th to walk all the way to glastonbury, arrives there come late afternoon / evening.]

glastonbury [4 days (day 9 - 5). leaves midday of the 5th to walk their way to alice’s village, arrives there around sunset.]

alice’s village / ‘actual wonderland’ lmao [5 days (day 5 - 0). located somewhere in between bridgwater, taunton, and glastonbury. month 1 of vacation has ended.]

day log commentary!

thirty. arrival in the land of reason through falling - routes where alice does go back don’t feature her falling down london’s sky, so maybe she’s just... spit out from the hole????? idk haha so i altered it anyway!!!!! the landing scene was initially like this: jonah lands first, he catches alice in his arms, they banter a bit....... and then they suddenly remember the suitcase only for said object to fall right on jonah’s head LMAOOO....... it’s a cradle magical object that looks like a regular suitcase but will always be as light as a feather despite it’s contents + it has GREAT CAPACITY so jonah is actually okay!!!!!! i decided to scrap that scene concept though haha!

twenty-nine. does the hole to the land of reason only open around midnight or smth???? i’m sure it doesn’t, but i went with jonah + alice leaving cradle minutes before twelve o’clock, so when they arrive in london jonah gets to see the big ben signal midnight. is that planned on alice’s part? maybe. on another note, i’m assuming that a high-ranking officer + noble like jonah is definitely used to traveling to other countries so he’s definitely not one for homesickness, but i like the thought of him always feeling all sorts of uncomfortable on his first nights away from home - he doesn’t make a big deal about it bc he gets better three days in or so. idk, it just seems fitting for someone very particular like him.

twenty-seven. if luka’s hair is fucking dyed, my god (no wonder i found those light ends of his hair sorta funny), then here’s jonah excuse to adapt another hair color with the help of magic crystals LMAO - i always stick with a reality ensues standpoint, so his ikeman looks aside, i’m sure londoners would find jonah’s hair color (heck, maybe even his eye color) very unique. alice can’t deal with all that sudden attention lol but she somewhat proud that the man who has effortlessly captured the attention of the people of her world too is the man she proudly calls her lover ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

twenty-three. now that i think of it, what exactly does cradle mean when they say the land of reason? are they simply referring to the city of london, or earth as a whole??? most likely the latter, but i’m pretty sure no one except blanc (and possibly ray bc that globe in his room lol) know exactly how large the land of reason is. anyway, not gonna lie, i wanted jonah + alice talking about novels by maybe the likes of charles dickens, thomas hardy, george eliot or h.g. wells. heck, maybe jane austen and charlotte bronte too!!!! but i had to scrap that bc gaps in understanding cultural & historical references + use of language, figurative and non-figurative.... it’s a shame about the last two though - i’m sure jonah can somehow probably relate to the society depicted in their books since the red territory sounds like your typical breeding place of victorian era nobles lmao!!!!

eighteen. sometimes when people learn / gain a deeper understanding about new things, they have the urge to brag about said knowledge to others - of course jonah wants to show alice what he knows about her world so far haha! calling a train a mechanical beast tho lmao..... he refers to it that way, but i think it’s his target of fascination in london!!! noise and possibly environmental issues aside, it’s very convenient + efficient and can cater to all, but what he finds most impressive that it’s a man-made locomotive!!! that’s something worth incredible praise!!! ( ᐛ )و

fourteen. actual train ride!!! hmmm.... i think jonah only panics maybe a good thirty minutes in when the train starts moving??? alice tries to calm him down by pointing at the passing scenery out the window + idle chatter until jonah finally relaxes himself.... but then he starts to panic slightly again when alice suggests that they look around the train and he’s like: is that even remotely safe??? what about our baggages, can we leave them unattended??? hey, i saw you snicker - how dare you laugh at me!!!

nine. according to google, an estimate of a walk starting from bristol going to glastonbury is 8h 25min. that’s for the present time though - would’ve it been shorter or longer in the past??? idk, but definitely one’s pace during the walk affects the total time, lol. since railroads only started out around 1830s + i made alice a village girl, walking really is her way to go. pedestrianism was still a thing around the 19th century!!! her stamina in other routes tho lol (ﾟ⊿ﾟ)

six. here’s my self-indulgent thing of wanting to add a dance scene, pt. 1 LMAOOOO -   the steps in the scene aren’t really from a certain folk dance in england, much less from glastonbury itself... i did look up on england folk dances, but i couldn’t pick one that i wanted to incorporate into the scene so i went with describing some random steps on the top of my head _(:3 」∠)_ ..... maybe someday, i’ll write a proper one..... on another note though, i suppose jonah can adapt quickly to folk dances, but he may come off a bit stiff at first in line / column dances where there’s the switch of partners??? i mean, there are formal 19th century dances that have that same concept, but.... the finesse + personal boundaries are all there lmao -  he’s not against the casual intimacy + show of obvious joy in folk + common dances though, it’s just more of that he’s not used to the informality of it all, i think.

five. plot twist: alice does lead jonah to her home, the cottage on a hill like she always described, but what he doesn’t expect is when she solemnly says that she’d introduce him to her parents she leads him to the back of the hill and in the foot of the hill he finds himself staring at her parents’ gravestones as she’s smiling sadly with a bouquet of flowers in her hand OH WAIT WRONG GENRE WASN’T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FLUFF LMAO - kidding aside, i do hope cybird catches onto the idea of a story event of chosen suitor going to the land of reason with alice to meet her parents or smth!!! they did do a travel event in the jp ver, after all.... but i’m not keeping my hopes up haha....... _(:3 」∠)_

zero. self-indulgent thing of wanting to add a dance scene, pt. 2 - tho it’s in the latter part along with the prompt lmao!!! hmmm, i’m pretty satisfied with how this one turned out tho i had a little problem arranging the first half - the rest i relatively left untouched even after i added the rest of the days to the fic. hopefully, does well as a nice end to the fic itself..... tbh, the thought of summer dress alice + casual shirt & pants jonah both barefoot & running around like children in moonlit woods (don’t do this in real life folks) made me smile a lot. give me more soft-and-not-so-tooth-rotting-fluff scenes, cybird

also!!! since the prompt involved a guitar, i had a certain track on repeat lmao - you can listen to it here, and it’s the second to the last track titled umibe ni yurete (swaying in the beach)! (ノ^∇^)

and that’s all that i’ve got today!!! thank you very much for reading + hope you’re staying safe & well wherever you are!!!!（｡≧◇≦）ﾉ

[artificialqueens]

Blind (Trixya) - DenDenMonMon

Summary: Plot twist: Alaska is the one that can see Katya from her backyard.

A/N: First and foremost I want to clarify that characterization is EXTREMELY important to me, and, even when the idea came to my mind some time ago, I didn’t even start writing the story until I did my proper research. I wrote and re-wrote this so many times, trying to make the characters as close to real as possible, and I’m not even sure if I got them right. Nonetheless, this is a Trixya fic, so that’s where my main focus is going to be. No disrespect to any of the queens, especially Miss Alaska. Hopefully she’s not so OOC that you guys will want to burn me alive. Massive thank you to everybody who helped make this story even postable. They are the true heroes. Enjoy!

AO3 Link

Blind

“No, those go over there! Ohmygod!”

Alaska runs a hand across his forehead, exasperated. Why is he even allowing people to help him? It’s not so hard to organize a simple party, he has done it before just fine. He shouldn’t be running around the place, so late in the day, making sure the house looks good.

There’s still so much food to get ready, and he hasn’t even started cooking. Everything should be set to receive the Drag Race girls that will be visiting his place tonight. He has organized the reunion so they can watch the finale of the current season. As far as he knows, nobody is watching anymore. Sure, they are all working and touring and whatnot, and not all of them were super obsessed fans right from the start like he’s always been, but they could at least support the show that–

Oh, no! That goes in the dining room!

It takes him the entire day but, by some point in the afternoon, when people start to arrive, the place looks somewhat presentable.

The first one to walk through the door is Bianca, all smiles and big teeth.

“Hieeeeeee!”

“Hello, Lasky!”

Alaska studies him shamelessly. He’s wearing jeans, a simple black t-shirt but a bright purple suit jacket on top. “Ooh, I like it!” Alaska decides out loud as he runs his fingers on the lapel. “I mean, it’s not animal print, but I like the color.”

Bianca laughs as he pulls him into a hug. “Of course you do, you stupid whore. This cost more than your entire house…” Alaska is sure his insult is supposed to be much longer but, as Bianca looks around the empty living room, his thought process stops. “Wait. I’m the first one here? Oh, no. I gotta get out of here.”

It’s betweens laughs and giggles that Alaska stops him from turning around, his mood already getting lighter. “No, no, no. You have to stay!”

They sit in the living room and Bianca tells him all about the Australian leg of his tour; shares stories of dirty dressing rooms, and crowds that would eat up anything he would feed them. Alaska can actually feel the excitement and happiness exuding the man sitting next to him. Something warm fills him as he listens to the beautiful adventures of one of the most successful drag queens to this day, who happens to be a close friend. Bianca is having the time of his life, traveling the world and taking advantage of the amazing platform that the show gave him. This is what drag should be all about. It should bring people happiness and make them enjoy life just as much as Bianca is doing right now.

The conversation has moved on to Alaska’s new album when the doorbell rings again. He opens the door to a lesbian Courtney in all her glory. She is wearing boy’s clothes but her face is fully painted and she is sporting a high ponytail.

One by one, and with only a few minutes between them, is that his friends start arriving. Alyssa is all legs in a tiny pair of shorts, he barrels in, rearranging the furniture that Alaska spent the entire day putting into place. Willam gets there and immediately takes over the kitchen, making sure the snacks are just the way he likes them. As soon as Adore crosses the door, he jumps to sit with Bianca, saying how much he’s missed his dad. Ginger brings his husband, surprising absolutely nobody. Kim Chi arrives alone, though, which prompts Alaska to ask him about Trixie.

“I thought you were coming together.” His statement comes out more like a question.

Kim shrugs as he drops a box of pastries on the coffee table. “He wanted to make sure the other Brian came, so he went to pick him up.”

The show hasn’t started yet. Nobody is paying attention to the TV as the queens start to loudly talk over one another, sharing stories and simply catching up after so long without seeing each other. As he chats away with the group, Alaska welcomes with gratitude the smile that takes residency on his face. He loves it, every second of it. His living room is filled with laughter and he’s letting the moment envelope him whole. He had really missed his friends and having most of them finally reunited after so long feels like a dream.

“How dare you start this party without me?!”

All eyes shoot up at the sound of the familiar moaning. Right after the anything but graceful words of greeting, there’s a loud scream that can only mean Tracy Martel is in the house. The wheezing sound that follows simply confirms that the duo is completed. Without failure, Trixie and Katya walk in holding hands.

If the place had been fun before, now it’s completely pulsing with life.

The loud laughter that Trixie and Katya add to the mix is gladly welcomed by everybody. The sounds are piercing and annoying, and Alaska can’t help but hate to love them. His relationship with each of them is significantly different. He loves both Trixie and Katya a great deal individually; but when they are together, it’s as if a new side of them comes out and lights up the entire room. By themselves they are both amazing people, helpful friends, and incredible artists; as a duo, they are nothing but light. Just like now, they arrive and are injecting joy into the little reunion right away.

Alaska observes how they go around greeting people, giving hugs and kissing cheeks, but never letting go of each other’s hands. They sit close together on a couch and it’s impossible not to get a smile on his face at their interactions. He loses himself in their antics and, even when he is supposed to be paying attention, soon he has no idea where the conversation around him is going. It takes a moment for him to reconnect to the reality of the chatting happening around him.

“Yeah, I’m still sleeping on that mattress.” Courtney pops a piece of brownie in her mouth as she shrugs. “Shit happens.”

“Oh, bitch!” Katya exclaims. “I shitted all over the bed!” There’s something almost kinda sounding like pride in his voice. His hand lands on Trixie’s knee, and squeezes hard as the memories come back to him. “That medicine was rotted. That whole situation was so disgusting. You suck one dick in P-town and it’s suddenly STD-land.”

Trixie’s high pitch scream of a laugh is heard right after. “I told you! You just wouldn’t believe it.”

One of Katya’s teen girl voices takes over and his hand brushes imaginary hair off his shoulder. “Why don’t you ever allow me to make my own mistakes? Ugh, you never let me be my true self.”

The whole group burst out laughing. It takes them a few seconds to calm down but, once they do, almost as if on cue, they hear the voice of RuPaul coming from the speakers of the sound system. The chairs they’ve pulled from the dining room, and the few couches in the living room, are enough for all the guests to comfortably take a seat as the show starts.

“This better be good,” Bianca warns as his arms cross on top of his chest.

Adore slaps him on the arm playfully. “Shut up, man. You are gonna love it!”

Michelle Visage’s voice travels through time and space and welcomes them to the show. Everyone in the living room goes quiet. Alaska makes sure to move and take the seat next to Trixie. He needs by his side someone that has for sure being watching the show.

Alyssa criticizes the dance intro, complaining about the lack of technicality and how the queens of this season seem to have no sense of rhythm. Alaska has to laugh with a tiny roll of his eyes.

The girl has only watched this one episode and is already making assumptions.

As if everybody has decided to take on their area of expertise, Courtney right away judges the wigs and Kim Chi points out all the flaws on the girls’ makeup. Alaska just can’t keep his mouth shut when they wear such horrible nails!

Three by three the eliminated queens get to see their highlights of the season. They answer questions from the public and share not so hidden situations that took place behind the scenes. Except for Ginger’s husband, everybody else in Alaska’s living room has gone through that process; they know what really happened, what was most likely produced, and which storylines were forced for the sake of the show. Maybe that’s the reason why, as the audience gasps at the revelation of a secret, nobody reacts on this side of the screen. The queens only partially watch the show, too busy talking about the challenges and how different they were on other seasons. They comment on the outfits and condemn the most horrible garments to ever walk the main stage. The quick recap they get to see of the season is not enough for all of them to fully understand why the top three actually deserve to be there. Ru’s decisions are questioned as the eliminations are presented to them.

When they reach a particular lipsync, between two of the fan favorites, Trixie softly whispers. “You know, I thought she was gonna stay,” he says without really looking at Alaska, but his head tilts in his direction. One of his hands rests on the back of the couch, his arm almost around Katya’s shoulders. The other hand is on top of his crossed leg, which Alaska has noticed Katya squeezes whenever there is something exciting happening on the screen.

Alaska forces his eyes to move up from the touching hands to see the side of Trixie’s face. “I know!” He purposely drawls his last word for emphasis. “She didn’t deserve to go that night. I like that dress, a lot. I liked the mix of colors and textures. The outfit was amazing. When she wore that yellow dress, though. Girl, that was enough reason to fucking ban her from the entire show.”

Trixie’s laugh is short but loud, directing a few stares their direction. “But she killed the lipsync, though.” He points a finger to the screen just as the queen they are talking about drops into a split and starts bouncing on the floor.

“Oh, c’mon,” Katya suddenly butts in. “You call that a killer lipsync? Momma, I’ll show you what it’s like to pound your pussy so hard against the ground the whole Earth moves.”

Just as he’s finishing that sentence he starts going down between the couch and the coffee table. His legs spread slowly and his arms go up in the air as he exaggerates what can only be his attempt to be sexy. Half of his tongue comes out to rest on his parted lips, in a way that has become a signature expression for both Trixie and Katya. Everybody starts cheering and throwing imaginary money as he pauses half of the way down, spreading his legs a bit more then stopping again. He shows how he is always fully in control of his muscles.

“Move on, girlie!” Alyssa is suddenly pushing away the coffee table to stand right next to Katya. “Let me show you what a real split looks like.”

The TV has gone to commercials and all eyes are on the show being put up in the middle of the room. Except for one particular set of eyes. As everybody laughs and screams, fully entertained by both queens, Alaska can’t help but notice how Trixie’s stare is fixated on Katya. It’s like every move is being carefully registered in his brain. More than amusement, there’s something closer to adoration reflecting in his eyes and Alaska suddenly has an idea.

Sure, everybody has joked about their relationship before, how Trixie and Katya are pretty much two halves of the same idiot by this point, or how they resemble an old married couple. They have always brushed it off, laughing at the jokes, going along with them. Never accepting but never denying anything. So tonight, as he has them right here, close and personal, Alaska is going to get to the bottom of this whole ordeal. That is now his mission of the night.

An hour later Ru is giving the sceptre to a girl whose hair is too high to wear a crown. There’s a new member of the drag family; a girl that they don’t know but have to welcome with open arms, almost as true siblings. Alaska watches her go up and down the runway with fake excitement. The true footage, with her real reaction at some bar, will probably be posted tomorrow. A new program starts and the TV loses everybody’s attention. Still, Alaska can’t stop thinking about his duty towards the new sister. He should try to get her number at some point, get to know her, make her feel welcome. He needs to at least check Wikipedia in a couple of days, when it’s updated. But that’s a task for another day, he needs to concentrate on the one at hand tonight.

Katya has his legs across Trixie’s lap by now. His head rests on Ginger’s shoulder as he laughs silently but uncontrollably. That’s probably Alaska’s favorite laugh of his, when he gets so excited that no sound comes out of his mouth. Trixie joins him briefly, three loud and annoying seconds of his signature laughter and he’s back to serious. Nobody is surprised and the conversation continues to a topic that Alaska has lost again.

His eyes can only focus on the way Trixie’s hand goes up and down Katya’s calf, pretty much absentmindedly. His black jeans ride up ever so slightly to the movement but nobody seems to mind.

“You’ll be the first one to go, you useless cunt!” Bianca’s harsh comment makes Alaska look at him.

Trixie laughs harder, throwing his head back before putting on fake confidence. “What are you talking about? I’m a skinny legend!” His hands land on his hips and his shoulders shimmer, sending everybody into fits of laughter.

Alyssa shakes a finger in the air. “But, you see, you are not a resourceful woman.”

As they all listen to the explanation following that statement, Trixie drops his hand back on Katya’s shin.

“Don’t touch me,” Katya whispers, it’s quick and sudden, as if Trixie’s palm hadn’t been there for the last ten minutes.

It was literally just there!

Trixie doesn’t say a thing back, though, he simply moves his hand and lets it rest on his own stomach.

“This bitch right here, she would be dead within the first hour.” Trixie pushes his chin in Katya’s direction.

“Plot twist, Momma, I’m already dead.” He points his index finger to Trixie, the tone of his voice matter-of-factly.

The whole room burst out laughing again and Alaska welcomes that warm feeling in his heart one more time. This is the sisterhood he always dreamed about, this is the type of people he wants to surround himself with; smart, talented, funny people who can make fun of each other, rolling with the punches and laughing carelessly from the bottom of their lungs.

Kim rolls his eyes. “Why do you always end up talking about zombie apocalypses?” Even when he’s trying to sound annoyed, there’s no malice in his delivery. Plus, it’s hard to take him seriously when that last word proves to be nearly impossible for him to pronounce.

Trixie sits up straight, thumb pointing to a laughing Katya. “Because this bitch smells like dead already! Makes me wonder if other dead creatures will come and try to collect her.”

“They are gonna think we are hiding their fucking queen bee!” And just as the thought leaves his mouth is when Alaska realizes he has been sucked into his observations for too long. This is so unlike him. Hopefully, nobody else has noticed how quiet he’s been. Hopefully, between Alyssa’s energy filling up the room and Bianca not allowing the conversation to die for even one minute, nobody has noticed how little Alaska has been bringing to their discussions. Hopefully, triggering Trixie to yell ‘honey’ nonstop, with the sole mention of bees, is enough to distract all attention from him.

Ginger turns to Katya, stopping him mid-conversation. “I need a cigarette, care to join me outside?”

Katya nods.

Trixie takes a hold of his arm. “I don’t think you should go.” His tone is severe, leaving no room for discussion.

Nobody is really paying attention to them. Willam is telling a story about a guy whose dick was so small he covered it whole when his hand closed into a fist. Alaska is actively conversing with the rest, but the corner of his eye is focused on the situation evolving on the other side of the couch.

“Don’t let him tell you what to do. You can do whatever you want.”

Trixie huffs under his breath, letting go of the grip he has on Katya’s arm, but doesn’t say anything else. Their stares meet. Their eyes have a full conversation that nobody else in the room is able to understand. Their pupils do all the talking when words are not needed. Trixie finally looks away with the shrug of one shoulder, as if saying the final decision is ultimately Katya’s.

Katya looks at him for a moment longer, pondering his options, before nodding his head dramatically. “Yeah, yeah, you are right. Sorry, Minj.”

The outcome is unacceptable for Ginger. His eyes go blank, showing all the annoyance he is feeling. “You see, darling.” He turns to his husband, placing a hand flat on his thigh. His voice is filled with sarcasm, purposely thick with his southern accent. “Miss Trixie, here, is still a bit upset that I sent her home.”

“I went home because of her, which is different.” Trixie doesn’t even look at him when he speaks, he simply directs his words to the air between them. “I won the–”

He’s about to respond, but Katya wraps his fingers around Trixie’s wrist.

“Don’t.” The word comes out barely above a whisper, but Alaska manages to hear it, and so does Trixie, which is who matters.

With the tension rising, in full Kim fashion, he looks around almost confused. “When’s dinner?” The air clears to the sound of Kim’s infamous words. Laughter once again fills the room and hostility melts away instantly.

Excusing himself, Alaska makes his way to check on the food. As soon as he enters the kitchen, he notices Trixie is walking right behind him.

“Girl, what was that all about?” Alaska asks while lifting lids on the stove.

Trixie walks to the fridge, taking out a beer from the pack they brought. With a twist of his face, his shoulders shrug, dismissing the subject. “Brian wants to stop smoking. He does really well until Josh comes along. It happens every time.”

“You know…” Alaska turns around as slowly as he lets the words out. “He doesn’t need a savior. He can take care of himself just fine. It may take him some time, but he always manages to figure things out.”

Trixie brings the beer to his lips, doesn’t drink it, though, Alaska can tell as much. The movement seems more like an excuse to hide the true expression on his face. He nods instead, and hums in approval. “Mmm, yeah, I know… But, also, he’s a people pleaser. So if his best friend asks him to go for a smoke–”

He doesn’t intend to, but Alaska can’t help but laugh at his words. “Ooh, sounds like someone’s pressed.” There’s still a small chuckle accompanying his words when he continues. “You can’t still be salty about the whole best friend situation.”

There’s a small huff, an attempt to subtract importance from the subject. “Bitch, of course, no!” Trixie rolls his eyes, pretending to be exasperated. “You should all know by now that’s a lame fucking joke.” Trixie avoids Alaska’s gaze, his eyes roll before they are glued to the bottle in his hands. “I just…” The sentence dies on his lips.

This is a weird sight. Trixie Mattel is never shaky with her speech, but Alaska keeps in mind that he’s talking to Brian Firkus right now. He is talking to a man in his late twenties, wearing glasses and a floral button down shirt; the farthest stretch possible from the Barbie doll fantasy filled with confidence that walks the runways.

“I care about him a lot,” Trixie finally concludes. Then there is a heavy sigh, almost as if he is preparing himself to let the thought out. “I don’t think I have ever cared about anybody the way I do about him. And it’s fucking stupid, because I know they are his friends, but they don’t seem to care enough. Or maybe I just care too much. I just, you know, it’s hard to believe anybody can care about him like I do. Does that make sense?” He seems on the verge of embarrassment at the end of his rambling, but not there yet, that wouldn’t be on brand for him.

Brand. The brand. Miss Fame. Where is Fame now?

Alaska puts down the bowl of salad he’s been tossing since the conversation started, his bony shoulders dropping. “Okay, here’s the deal. Your friendship is the best motherfucking thing in the entire world, is that correct?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“So what does it matter what anybody else thinks? If Josh wants to believe Brian’s his best friend, fucking let him. Katya is an excellent drag queen, and I look up to her immensely; but Brian is a deliriously amazing human, such a genuinely nice person, and he’s been there for every single one of us when we needed him. He can be everybody’s best friend, but who is his best friend? When things went south for him, he asked everybody to step back, we did, we gave him space. Everybody but you. You stayed there, like, not there-there, ‘cause you still respected him, but you went through the fire with him. We kinda felt… relief, maybe.” The last couple of words come out more as a question, asking himself if they convey his true feelings on the matter. “He kinda, like, freed us from the responsibility, and we just waited for the dust to settle. You fought the fucking fight with him. Nobody can take that away from you.”

Trixie’s eyes look glassy, Alaska is not sure if that’s caused by her words or if it’s just the light hitting the transparent glasses. Since he has said his peace, and hoping that Trixie will understand where he’s coming from, he decides to light up the mood.

“So, if you have an issue with gay Danny DeVito over there, just bring it right to his busted face!”

The unmistakable Trixie screams comes out, it lasts only a second before he whispers a small thank you.

Alaska can see Willam and Katya making their way to the kitchen, most likely wondering why they are taking so long or, less likely, wanting to help.

Change the subject, now!

Without even thinking about it, he goes for a safety net and pretends they are talking about something else.

“She was robbed!” He exaggerates an infuriated growl, causing a laugh from Trixie and a confused look from the men entering the room.

“Why are you talking about me?” Katya quickly asks, his own words causing him to laugh hysterically.

Willam slaps him on the arm playfully. “They are clearly talking about Shangela, right Trix?”

“You fucking cunt,” Trixie replies with a chuckle as everybody else screams with laughter. The subject is put to rest as each of them grab something from the counter and take it to the dinner table.

It’s a pleasant scene they walk into, the seats around the table are almost completely filled and people chat amicably. Alaska stays a couple of steps behind, basket of bread in hand, and scans the room carefully. The only word that comes to his mind is: grateful. He could be feeling a lot of things at the moment, but the strongest of them all is an enormous sense of gratitude. He’s happy for the smallest of things that had to fall into place for him to be standing right here, right now. He’s thankful he auditioned for the show as many times as he needed to, for the amazing people he got to meet, for every mistake and every lesson. Most of all, he’s glad he stopped doing fucking coke. A sigh physically leaves his body as he, once again, allows into his mind all that he lost during those years. He wouldn’t have been able to enjoy simple gatherings like this one if he had still followed that dangerous path of self destruction.

Now, as he admires the smiles on his friends’ faces, lit by the soft yellow light above them, he understands that everything he had to go through happened for a reason. He can appreciate the beauty of this moment, because he has experienced the exact opposite. And that’s a place he doesn’t wish to go back to, ever.

“Okay, bitches, be quiet,” he addresses the room, pulling the chair at the head of the table. He blinks slowly a couple of times before he starts his speech. “Ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary people, and everyone in between, I want to thank you all for coming, for making time in your ass tight schedules.” There’s a round of laughter following his words. “Before I get all emotional, and in touch with the feelings I don’t have–”

“Not since the accident,” Katya interrupts from his seat at the other end.

The chuckles subside after a couple of seconds, allowing Alaska to continue. He shares a couple of stories of how things used to be and notes how much they have grown up and grown closer together with the passing of time. After a few jokes, anecdotes, and heartfelt thank yous, he invites his guests to start their meal.

“And if you are wondering what’s the soup of the day… it’s Vivienne Pinay!”

It is in cheerful laughter that people start serving themselves, filling their plates with the available food at the center of the long table.

Alaska takes his seat. His plans for the night didn’t include a seating arrangement. He has Bianca on one side and Courtney on the other. Several people separate him from the couple he’s supposed to keep an eye on, the same couple that inevitably has sat together on the other end of the table. He observes them from afar. Trixie talks to Willam, meanwhile, Katya takes the bowl directly in front of him and places some salad on both his plate and Trixie’s. As soon as he’s done, and without stopping the conversation, Trixie takes the ice cubes out of his lemonade and puts them in Katya’s glass. The moves seem almost automatic, like a well rehearsed dance. They don’t really need to think about them.

During his observations, Alaska is halfheartedly listening to the conversation happening around him, which has now moved on to politics. The topic alone is enough to remove his attention from the couple now fighting over a baby carrot, and focus completely on the matter at hand. He’s commenting here and there as he chews on romaine lettuce, and it isn’t until Adore starts sharing the story of a friend that he gets fired up.

“She was fucking attacked, man,” Adore says as he waves his fork in the air. “Right there in the middle of the street. How fucked up is that?”

Those words are enough of a trigger for Alaska.

“I just don’t get it! Like, how can you be so fucking mad at someone just because you don’t understand them?” A part of him knows his taking it too far, but he can’t help but feel so strongly about it. “Just because someone is different from you, they don’t deserve your respect? It’s such a waste of energy to be pissed off at, like, nothing. Fucking exhausting!”

Alaska’s rant ends with a push of his plate. He’s suddenly not hungry anymore.

“Aren’t you doing the same thing, though?” Courtney offers casually, her lips wrapping around the rim of the glass in her hand for a moment. “You are wasting your energy being mad at the haters. There really is not much of a difference.”

Is she even serious?

The condescendant twist of her lips is what does it. Alaska doesn’t want to be part of that conversation anymore. Instead of firing back, he gets up, bringing his glass with him, and walks to sit on the end of the table. The vibe is completely different on this side. Everybody is laughing and the atmosphere isn’t charged with political statements.

“I just don’t see the point of it.” Katya groans frustrated. “It really is pointless.”

Trixie looks at him, as if he couldn’t believe the words that just came out of his mouth. “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s the most basic human thing. It’s, like, essential to your well-being.”

Katya’s fork picks up a few stranded peas and he drops them on Trixie’s plate before continuing. “I just don’t see what’s so good about sleeping. It’s, I don’t know, this amount of hours that you just… lose! There are so many things I could be doing with my life but, no, my body must go into - into airplane mode and do - not even its most basic functions. I’m just lying there, doing nothing. The only use I see for it, is to practice for when you are dead. There is no other reason, really. Like, get, umm, you know, get your body used to being, like, dead.” His hands go all over the place as he’s talking, trying to explain what he can’t fully put into words. He seems almost apologetic, but the people around him simply chuckle at his rambling that is so unmistakably Katya. “Oh, my god. I could go on and on about this.”

“You did,” Trixie says between small laughs. “You literally just did.”

The wheezing noises leaving Katya are enough to have them all laughing hysterically right along with him. He pushes Trixie slightly, who doesn’t seem to mind at all.

“Shut up, you dumb bitch. Just because you sleep like a bear–”

“A bear?!” Trixie interrupts him in surprise. “Are you calling me a bear? Is that a read?”

Katya laughs for just a second before pretending to be shocked. “Read? I don’t like to read. I actually don’t know how to read. I’m illiterate and I’m cool with that.”

“Oh my God!” Alaska can’t help but finally intervene, drawling the last word as he waits for the people around him to calm back down. “It feels like I’m watching one of your fucking YouTube episodes. Do you ever, like, turn that shit off?”

The pair looks at each other, their eyes are glued to the other’s, and they mirror silly smiles as they let a slow but firm no leave their mouths at the same time.

“It’s like they share one brain,” Willam agrees. “Is there anything else you have shared?” The sexual connotation is evident, which pretty much is expected every time Willam opens his mouth to speak. “Cause you know, Kats and I have shared some… well, we have given some head together.”

“Yep, yep. Yep, we have.”

Trixie’s jaw is somewhere near the floor after hearing that last statement. This is not the facade he puts for the show, and this is not his exaggeration of a simple emotion either. He is fully and completely surprised by what he just heard. The wheels in his head are visibly turning, as he tries to rake his brain to make himself remember if he has heard about this before, coming up empty.

“Wait, what?”

Willam grins mischievously. “You never told her about it?”

“No!” Even when Willam’s question had been directed to Katya, Trixie is the one replying.

“I so did,” Katya assures him. “I totally told you. Didn’t I tell you?”

Trixie exhales loudly a couple of times, words getting lost before reaching his lips. “I - I think I woulda remembered the story.”

This is interesting.

Alaska’s mouth is wide open in amusement. The conversation has taken a rather entertaining turn. “What’s the story? Spill the beans, you bitch!”

A foot taps on Alaska’s chair, he turns around just to see Kim, each of his hands holding plates filled with food to the rim. “You’re on my seat.”

“Girl, can we switch for just a moment? I’m about to hear a nasty story here.”

Kim rolls his eyes but does it anyway, not without mumbling insults under his breath that nobody really seems to catch.

Willam is the one that starts telling what happened, not really trusting Katya with articulating properly and telling the story as it actually was. It was at one of the tours, Katya had taken someone back to the dressing room, which had a wall that didn’t go all the way up to the ceiling. Willam heard them from the other side of the wall, and decided to climb over it and join the fun. The details are extensive and intensive. Willam leaves nothing out about the vulgar encounter.

Suddenly, there’s the loud sound of the legs of a chair scratching against the floor. “Imma pray for y’all tonight,” Alyssa says as he dramatically gets up from his seat. “Your nasty souls need to be touched by the hand of Jesus himself, there’s no other way to save you. I’m sorry. I can’t keep listening to this disgrace anymore.”

“Yeah, I think I’m done here too.”

Trixie follows Alyssa and they make their way to the kitchen, empty plates in hand. That doesn’t stop Willam, the story continues for a few more minutes, as if nothing had happened, until the whole tale has been told. Katya’s attention is immediately disconnected, though. His eyes are trying to focus, and his neck is craning so he can get a view of the people that just left, one in particular, Alaska dares to guess. He’s just waiting until the moment that Katya decides to go after them, he clearly wants to, but doesn’t. They all stay there, striking pointless conversation that soon includes everybody else.

Alaska receives praises for his cooking as he goes around the table, picking up everybody’s plates and taking them to the kitchen.

“That’s what I’ve always said,” Alyssa says, placing a hand on Trixie’s shoulder. “You are a person of dignity, and respect, and - and people like you are really hard to find.”

Cleaning the dishes is enough distraction for Alaska. He tunes out of the conversation happening behind him as he drops the food remainings in the trashcan, then puts the plates in the washer. It isn’t until Katya’s voice is heard that his attention refocuses.

“Can I talk to you?”

“Alrighty, then. That’s my cue to leave.” Alyssa walks away with a click of his tongue.

Trying to remain invisible, Alaska pretends to be entertained by the china he’s putting away.

“Are you mad at me?”

Alaska looks up, just in time to catch the reflection of Trixie shrugging one shoulder. The darkness outside allows the light of the kitchen to project everything that’s happening behind Alaska. For a moment, the scene feels almost invasive. He feels like he’s spying on his friends. Especially when Katya takes half a step forward, entering Trixie’s personal space, and placing a hand on his arm. No words are spoken, they just look into each other’s eyes, share soft touches here and there, play with each other’s fingers. It’s intimate. It’s private.

Leave. Get out.

With the silent excuse of taking the trash out, Alaska can’t stand the closeness anymore and leaves them alone. He exits through the back door, Hefty bag in hand, and pushes it inside the large trash container. It’s too full, he is going to hate rolling that outside in the morning. That’s a problem for future him, though. Current Alaska looks up, and is able to see through the window how Trixie shakes his head. Katya’s hands are all over the place as he clearly tries to explain something, something that Trixie has no intentions of listening to.

Trixie walks to the fridge and takes out another bottle, shaking it in front of him as his index finger points at Katya. What appears to be angry words leave his mouth. Katya doesn’t seem to be intimidated or scared, at all. He takes a hold of Trixie’s hand instead, and puts the bottle down on the counter. He brings Trixie’s hand up to his lips and kisses it. Trixie’s eyes soften instantly. There are no traces of the upset person that had taken over him just seconds ago. The change is remarkable.

It seems like Katya is the one talking now, because Trixie is simply nodding his head from time to time. Occasionally, he will shrug, which Alaska has learned to identify as his way to cover up when something is affecting him. It’s hard to understand what’s going on, but the vibe of the whole situation has clearly switched.

Katya is apparently done talking. He is looking down, his head is hanging low. That’s why he misses when Trixie purses his lips, and is just left there waiting for a kiss. When he gets no response, he taps on Katya’s shoulder to call his attention. It takes him less than a second to meet Trixie’s lips briefly. There’s a hug and small smiles adorn both their faces.

Trixie takes his bottle and walks away, leaving Katya alone in the middle of the kitchen. He sighs heavily, supports his elbows on the counter in front of him, and his head falls on his hands. His fingers massage his temples for a moment. His breathing is physically heavy, Alaska can tell as much from his spot in the backyard. He wonders if he should just walk in and comfort his friend, but he wouldn’t know how to. He has no idea what the fuck just happened inside, he wouldn’t have the right words to help ease Katya’s feelings, whatever those may be. He seems to be almost… sad?

Before Alaska can make up his mind, Katya straightens his back and turns towards the window. Alaska jumps, he basically just got caught spying on his friend; but he remembers nothing but a reflection can be seen from the other side of the glass.

Katya walks outside, his hands digging in his pockets and finding a cigarette.

“Oh, hey!” He looks surprised to find Alaska there, but it lasts for just a moment.

Maybe it’s because he knows Alaska doesn’t smoke anymore, or maybe because he still has Trixie’s words playing in his brain, either way, Katya doesn’t light the cigarette. He brings it to his lips and simply lets it rest on the corner of his mouth.

“Are you okay?” Alaska asks genuinely concerned.

“What? Oh. Yeah, sure.”

The answer comes a little too quick, Alaska is not buying it. He tilts his head to the side, and his arms wrap around his torso, indicating him that he better try again.

“What the fuck just happened in there?” He tries a more direct approach when he still gets no reply from Katya.

“Bitch, I don’t know.” He runs a hand against his bald head in frustration. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Alaska’s eyes roll on their own accord. “You know that’s not true.” A worrying feeling suddenly invades him. “Are you guys okay? Are you fighting?”

Katya looks at him for a second too long, probably deciding if he’s the right person to let it all out to. Maybe he is wondering if he’s ready to let it all out in the first place. Most likely, he is not even sure of what the hell is going on and has no words to phrase the situation properly.

He takes the cigarette away from his mouth, toys with it for a moment, placing it between his fingers, before directing his gaze back to Alaska. “He is so confusing, you know?” There is no need for names, they know who the conversation is about. “Like, he knows I’m a whore. He knows I would literally suck any dick, any dick, even mine if I could reach it!” His hands flail around him, the white stick creating a hypnotizing line following his movements. “Sometimes he sounds, like, I don’t know, maybe, jealous? I don’t even know.”

A light chuckle escapes Alaska’s lips. “Of course he’s jealous!”

“Why would he, though?”

“Uh, maybe ‘cause you are out there sucking any dick but his?” Alaska’s sarcasm doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Bitch, I’ve tried!”

“Shut up. Not like that.”

Confusion is clear on Katya’s face. “Wha-what you mean?”

“Don’t act so surprised, girl. You know I’m right.” When the confused expression doesn’t leave Katya’s face, Alaska has to, once again, find a better way to touch the subject. “Okay, so, yeah, you know I love you both. Well, I love all of you guys, like, right now, I’m at home, I’m with my family. I am happier now than I have been in my… than I was when I was younger. I owe all of that to you guys. I know this sounds unrelated but I have a point, okay?”

A small chuckle accompanies his last words but Katya simply nods, allowing him to continue.

“I want you to feel that same amount of happiness. I know you, and I mean you, Brian, or at least I hope I do. I know you only look truly happy when he’s around, when you two are making stupid jokes and finishing each other’s fucked up sentences.”

Now it’s Katya’s turn to laugh softly.

“See, you know I’m right,” Alaska points out with a smile. “You are so guarded and so careful, hardly ever let anybody in. It took you and me to go to fucking drag war together for you to even begin to open up. Things with you and him just… are. It breaks my heart that you are so perfect for each other but have never really acted on it. That’s just… sad.”

This morning, when he was getting his house ready for the viewing - dinner party, Alaska had not planned on having this conversation. He hadn’t even been aware that he had such strong feelings about his two friends until right this moment. Now that he has opened this particular can of worms, he needs to go through with it. Judging by Katya’s reaction, this is a topic that he needs to explore as well.

With a drop of his shoulders, Katya groans frustrated. “Can I just suck his dick?”

Alaska can’t help but laugh wholeheartedly, the sound coming from the bottom of his lungs. “You could be doing that and so much more, don’t you want more than that?”

He doesn’t reply right away. Katya walks around in circles, unintelligible grunts generating at the back of his throat. “Fuck, I don’t know. I do? Maybe. It’s just… We have so much history. I would kill myself if I did something stupid again. I don’t think I could live with myself if I hurt him even one more time.”

“You are talking as if he didn’t have any saying in all of this. He’s so much stronger than you give him credit for.” Alaska’s words come out slowly, giving Katya time to absorb what he’s trying to say. “Have you talked to him about this? Have you asked him if he’s willing to give it a try?”

The huff that comes out through Katya’s nose is completely unintended. “We did talk about this… ages ago. We decided it was best to keep things as they are. Our friendship works pretty well, why change it?”

“Uh, don’t you wanna change it for something even better?”

“How can you be so sure it will be better, though?” Katya’s index finger points at Alaska, the question coming out almost as a challenge.

“I don’t!” He confesses. “I don’t fucking know; that’s the beauty of it all. You need to just fucking jump, have no expectation, no idea of how things are gonna go, and just, like, do your best and be there, and respond to things as they happen.”

The smile adorning Katya’s face is enough to make Alaska feel proud of himself. He has touched a delicate spot and he knows that, at the very least, he has planted a seed in his mind. Now it’s up to Katya to decide if he leaves it buried there, or if he nurtures it and watches it grow into something beautiful.

“When did you become such an insanely accurate witch psychologist of the heart?”

“I just… like, I used to drive myself crazy, overthinking about everything and then, one day, I decided to, like, stop.” Alaska knows that’s not enough of an explanation, but it’s all he has. “Listen, you and I specifically have been given all these fucking blessings, so many that they defy all logic. One of the very few things we are missing is someone to share them with. There are a lot of toxic fucks out there, and if you manage to find someone who is actually a good person, who is, like, willing to deal with all of this…” his long fingers point at Katya up and down, who takes no offense and laughs instead. “Then why not just go for it?”

The cigarette finally finds it rightful place in the trash can next to them. Katya stares at it for a moment, the jungle of thoughts in his mind visibly becoming untangled.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Just… would you talk to him? Would you bring the idea up and see what happens?”

Katya nods slightly. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try, when the time is right,” he finishes, turning around.

“When the time is right,” Alaska repeats to himself as he watches Katya walk back inside the house.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

He hears Trixie’s voice and shakes his head slightly. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but, hopefully, one day, those two morons will realize just how perfect they are together. For the time being, Alaska will just observe them from afar as they blindly fall even more stupidly in love with each other.

[tenacious-scripturient]

How do you keep yourself focused on one project at a time? I always seem to have a millions WIPs at once, and none of them ever get done...

hey! thanks for the ask, anon, hope you’re having a good day :)

well, i’m not sure if i’m the most qualified to answer this, seeing as i have very few WIPs in general LOL. but i’ll try. personally, i have one main project i work on, which is the biggest, and the rest are much smaller (usually fanfics lmao)

but, i can still try to give some advice. there are different pathways you can take, and the first is:

having fewer WIPs and ideas in general.

personally, i don’t have an abundance of crazy ideas for stories. when i do, they’re usually minuscule ones that power only short stories and flash fiction. 

but see, i don’t act on every idea i have. or rather, i don’t make them into their own separate universes. when there’s a line, a prompt, a character, or anything i want to write about, i usually integrate them into my other WIP(s). that helps with motivating me to write more (since i’m excited) and keeps my focus on a low number of WIPs.

or maybe a better idea is to let your new ideas ferment in the sun a little. over time, new things get added to it, and it becomes even better than before! or, like i said, it might be integrated with another idea. just make sure you note it down or something, so you don’t forget.

setting goals.

if you want to focus on a certain WIP, create goals for it. have them be bigger for the one you want to put most of your energy into, and small for the rest of them. that way, you’ll have more motivation to work on that certain WIP.

but also, remember to keep them reasonable. you can’t have 8 WIPs, and want to write 1000 words for all of them in one day. (well maybe you can. i’m not the boss of you, go do what you want!)

pacing yourself.

you probably know this, but working on so many WIPs at once can be exhausting. they gnaw at your mind all day, and that can lead to less motivation. not very fun, huh?

so you have to figure out how to pace yourself with all of your WIPs. for each person, it’s different. maybe you can work on each WIP for a certain amount of time every day, or change it up after one week. maybe you could even have a proper schedule. it’s just like any other work—it really depends on the way you function.

taking breaks.

taking breaks from your WIPs is just as important as pacing yourself. not only does constant working demotivate you, but it also hurts your writing. pausing from your work gives you time to replenish your energy and ideas.

and note that i don’t only mean lunch breaks and whatnot. i mean that, if you need to, you can take days, weeks, and even months off of your writing. i took a year-long break from Project: Easton after getting nowhere for 4 months, but now i’m back and better than ever!

taking longer breaks helps your ideas to grow, and once you get back into writing, you’ll have more motivation than you’ll know what to do with! tending to ideas takes time and patience.

and… that’s all i have. please remember to take my advice with a grain of salt! i am in no way qualified to teach lessons on writing, and these are just some things i noticed in my time as a writer :) 

[simonxriley]

55 on your prompt list for skylar/glaz its not my fault i ship them just as i ship skylar/tachanka

This took a little longer than expected, but if you know me than you know I write more than 1k words no matter what. You actually have no idea how happy I was to actually write about Skylar/Glaz, it was nice to get something out for these two! And I hope you enjoy this little drabble! 

Prompts #55 “Shut up and kiss me already.” 

Words: 2,516

Warnings: NSFW-ish 

I also posted this on Ao3 and FFN 

“-Valentine’s Day is an overrated holiday.” Skylar said while entering her room. Ash followed behind her, laughing. “I wouldn’t be this pissed about it if it was fun for all ages.” She sat down on her bed, setting her phone aside. “When you’re young you get to do those cute Valentine’s for your whole glass, but after that if you don’t have a significant other, you’re most likely getting bupkis.”

“Are you really this upset about being single?” Ash took a seat on her bed, removing her FBI hat and fixing her hair.

They just returned from a mission that went better than expected, even Thermite didn’t manage to fuck anything up. Skylar was in a good mood until she saw Zofia with a bouquet of flowers and chocolates in her hands, no doubt from her husband. Then it all went downhill from there.

“No I’m not upset that I’m single, I just hate that it’s kinda shoved down our throats.” She took off her hat, setting it beside her and scrubbed a hand down her face. “The only good thing about Valentine’s Day is all of the chocolate that’s going to be on sale tomorrow.”

Ash took off her aviators and looked her dead in the eyes. “Skylar, I can see right through you. You were fine until you saw Zofia, then you became a little bitchy.”

She threw her hands up in the air in defeat. “Okay maybe I am upset about being single.”

“But why? You’re out of their league anyways.”

“Thanks.” She chuckled and looked down at her hands. “It brings me back to watching my sister get a bunch of stuff from her then boyfriend, no husband growing up. She’s 12 years older than me and I guess I looked up to her too much.”

“You thought it would be the same for you, didn’t you? And when it wasn’t you got jealous.” Ash set her boots aside - grabbing her phone and leaned against her headboard, letting out a satisfied sigh.

“I was 3 when my sister started dating her husband. And every year onward I saw him bringing flowers and chocolates and card for her - yes I might have been naive to think it would be the same for me and maybe I did get jealous once I turned a teenager.” She sighed and started unlacing her purple boots. “That jealousy never lasted, and I shouldn’t be complaining about not getting a Valentine. Evan always brought me something too, whether it was a little box of chocolates or a stuffed animal. I just see how happy and in love they are, and deep down I kinda want that.”

Skylar set her boots aside and got up - walking over to her dresser. She pulled out a pair of navy blue sweats and an over-sized black t-shirt, tossing them on her bed. She turned to see Ash scrolling on through her phone.

A moment later Ash peeked up from her phone, a smirk spreading across her face. “You miss it, don’t you? Getting those little gifts from him.”

She hung her head and laughed, turning back towards her after a moment. “Yeah, I kinda do. It’s my fault though, I told him he didn’t have too, and with living so far away I didn’t want him shipping me something that could go bad or get lost in the mail.”

“Call him. Tell him you changed your mind.”

“It’s been 8 years Ash.” She walked back over to her bed, grabbing the clean pair of clothes. “He just made my birthday package a bit bigger. I’m gonna take a shower, I’ll see you later.”

                                                               xXx

After a much needed shower, Skylar made her way to her locker to put her M4 machine gun and M1911 pistol away, along with her unused grenades and flash bangs.

The locker room was rather quiet, then again it was late and everyone who had a mission probably already put their stuff away and called it a night. Upon walking up the stairs she heard Sledge talking to Thatcher about getting a beer tomorrow night. It wasn’t hard to miss either of their voices, both were always a tad bit too loud.

She made it to the top of the stairs, turning left to head to her locker. That’s when she saw them, standing outside Thatcher’s locker. It was times like these she hated having a locker next to Thatcher - not because of the man himself, she had great respect for Mike, hell she did all her recruit training with him. Just Seamus doesn’t have an indoor voice, and there were some things Skylar didn’t want to know.

“Seamus do you have to talk so loud? I heard you from the bottom of the staircase.” Skylar said with a laugh.

She walked over to her locker, punching in her code until she heard the buzzer to go in. She placed her machine gun and pistol on the bench, then went for the grenade and flash bang cases.

“Sorry love, I thought we were alone.” He walked over to her locker, standing outside it. Thatcher next to him. “Didn’t have any plans tonight?”

She set the cases down and turned to them. “Nope. I’m surprised you’re even here, I thought you would be at some pub tonight.”

“I would be if we didn’t get a last minute mission.”

“You guys too?” She flipped open her grenade case, placing them in it. “I thought the FBI were the only ones.”

“Not the case dear, we had a hit on some intel needed to get there fast.” Thatcher said. “Since you’ve already heard our plans, you’re more than welcome to join.”

“It’s good that your mission went well. And yeah I’d love too, a few drinks wouldn’t hurt.”

Seamus quirked a confused brow, tapping his fingers on the metal touchpad. “How’d you know the mission went well?”

Skylar placed her machine gun on it’s rack and laughed. “I’ve been on enough missions with Mike to know when something has gone his way or not. I can tell by the tone of his voice.”

He nodded his head in agreement, watching her put her unused flash bangs in it’s case. “Sometimes I think you’re the only that can - beside Mark, James and I.”

“You guys do know you can come in right?” She chuckled as she heard him open the locker door while she placed her pistol on its rack. “Well I can’t speak for anyone but myself. I’m the newest member and I figured him out relatively quickly, if other operators haven’t, it’s because they don’t want too. And that’s their problem.”

“Good point love.”

She grabbed her grenade and flash case, putting them back on the shelf. “Also how many people on this team have some sort of special gadget? Like more than half, that’s a small percentage that still use just plain old fashion weaponry. If they couldn’t use their special gadgets for some reason, then Thatcher would be right. And I don’t think they want that.”

“Are you saying technology has taken over the military?” Seamus said letting out a laugh.

“Not really, yes some technology has helped us and whatnot. But when you put to much faith in a robot to do your job, then what are you going to do when you can’t use it? I’ve done things more quickly and laid out more damage with a flash bang and my pistol than any other technological gadget.”

Thatcher walked over to a shelf on the other side of her locker, grabbing her ka-bar knife. “Technology can lag, go out or the enemy can hack us. A six inch blade never loses reception.”

“I’m not sure if she’s a female version of you Mike or if you should marry her.” Seamus crossed his arms, watching Thatcher set down the knife.

Skylar stood their kind of awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. She wasn’t sure if she should say something sarcastic or not to make it less awkward. Thatcher walked to the locker door, turning back to them.

“She deserves someone with less baggage.” He opened the door, stepping out. “I have a bunch of paperwork to do, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Okay, night Mike.”

“Night Skylar.”

Skylar yawned and stretched her arms over her head. “I think I’m gonna grab a snack and watch some netflix before passing out. I’m tired.”

“Mmm, I’m gonna give my girl a polishing before hitting the sack myself. Night Skylar.”

“Night Seamus.”

                                                                xXx

Skylar was walking down the hall with a bag of chips and a water in one hand, her phone in the other. She was scrolling through netflix, browsing which movie she wanted watch before bed. Nothing was catching her attention, and most seemed to b-rated for her liking.

Turning the corner she looked up when she heard another pair of feet walking along the linoleum flooring. Making eye contact with Glaz, she stopped and quirked a brow when she saw he had flowers in his hand. He tried hiding the flowers behind his back - he sighed in defeat, knowing she saw them and walked over to her.

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone Glaz.” Skylar locked her phone - sliding it into her pocket.

“I’m…..not. If everything goes well, I hope to be.” He looked down at the flowers, then back towards her.

“Oh, do you mind if I ask who they’re for?” She looked down at the flowers, a smile gracing her face. “Peach roses are my favorite kind of rose.”

“I know, because they’re for you!” He held out the flowers, a sheepish grin on his face.

She looked up at him, mouth slightly gaping. “Glaz….I I wasn’t expecting this, but thank you! The flowers are beautiful!”

She took them from his hand, bringing them up to her nose to smell them. They were in perfect blume, meaning he picked them up today.  

“You’re welcome!” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from her. “Skylar, there’s been something I’ve wanted to ask you and I should’ve done it weeks ago like Alex said. But I kept chickening out and I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way…”

“Timur, shut up and kiss me already!”

Glaz went quiet, looking down at her with a big smile on his face. His hands cupped her cheeks, gently leaning down until their lips met. Skylar wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, bothing humming into it. He pulled away after a moment, resting their foreheads together as they both tried to catch their breath.

“I take it this means you’ll go out with me?”

She pulled back to get a better look at him. It was cute to see how flustered he was. “I would love to go out with you Timur!”

“Now I’m really happy I finally found the courage to ask you.” He chuckled. “What were you doing anyways? I wasn’t expecting to see you walking around this late.”

“Getting a snack before heading to room to watch some netflix. You’re welcome to join.”

Glaz intertwined their hands together, slowly walking towards the dorms. “We could go to my room, we’ll have more privacy.”

“Maxim isn’t there?”

“No, he’s out with Alex and Shuhrat. They’ll be gone until morning.”

“Then yeah, let’s go.” They took a few steps before she stopped. “Wait, let me grab something to put the flowers in. I don’t want them dying overnight.”

Skylar headed back towards the rec-room with Glaz for a cup large enough to hold the two dozen peach roses. After some rummaging around she finally found a large enough cup - filling it halfway with water and setting it on the table.

Glaz was cutting off the stems to make sure they would fit better, and one by one they filled the cup. Once their mess was cleaned up they headed towards Glaz’s room.

                                                                   xXx

They were both snuggled up to each other under the blanket watching some ridiculous movie. Both of them knew from the get-go that it was going to be stupid, still they couldn’t pull their eyes away. Besides the movie, there was something else on Skylar’s mind.

She trailed her hand down his torso, feeling his white cotton shirt beneath her finger tips. Smirking when she heard him gasp as her hand went under the band of his sweatpants, cupping his growing arousal.

She gave him a small squeeze, hearing him grunt in return. Taking his semi-hard cock in her hands, she began stroking him - watching him grip the sheet and breath heavily through his nose. After a few more strokes, Glaz leaned forward, pausing the movie, shutting the laptop and placing it on the floor.

The next moment Glaz was on top of her, kisses and nipping at her neck. “Yebat’ fil’m, ya khochu tebya, ya khochu vsekh vas.”

                                                                   xXx

The morning sun peeked through the curtains, Glaz pulled Skylar closer to him, nuzzling his face in her chestnut brown hair. Last night felt like a dream and he was afraid he would wake up alone. He was thankful that wasn’t the case.

Skylar started to stir, slowly waking up herself. He kissed her cheek, making her giggle.

“Morning beautiful!”  

She turned turned around to face him, tiredness still showing in her eyes. “Morning handsome!”

“Did you sleep well?” He wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her to his chest and kissing her forehead.

“Like a baby.” She chuckled. “How did you sleep?”

“A lot better with you in my arms.”

“Awe, that’s sweet!”

She began to close her eyes again, hoping to get a little bit more sleep. Groaning when she heard the door open. Eyes snapping open when she remembered she wasn’t in her room and the person walking in wasn’t Ash. She slowly lifted her head, making sure the blanket was covering her whole body before looking at the door.

Letting out a small whine when she saw Maxim and Alex standing in the doorway, both with a gaping smile on their faces. She groaned into the pillow, covering her head with the blanket.

“About damn time you two got together.” Alex said a moment later.

Skylar sat up, making sure the blanket didn’t fall down. “This is awkward.”

Glaz sighed and sat up, shooting a glare at Alex. “Do you guys mind giving us some privacy? I don’t think she wants to get dressed with two other men in the room.”

“No, no take your time, you know where the condoms are.” Maxim said as he started pushing Alex out of the room and shutting the door behind him.

Skylar and Glaz looked at each other, both shaking their heads and laughing about the whole situations.

“Ya khochu detali Timur.” Alex yelled from outside the door.

She looked over at Glaz, seeing his face turn red and a hand scrub down his face. Whatever Alex said wasn’t good on his end, and to see the slightly older man flustered again made her smile.

[deplcythebattery]

Please please please refuse this if it’s too much but could you maybe do one where Whizzer used to Self Harm and like Jason or Cordelia see the old scars? It’s weird but knowing that my fav characters go through what I have is kinda comforting. Have a wonderful rest of your day

I’m happy to write this for you, no worries! I myself have been really anxious about my scars lately, so this will help me as well. Thank you so much for the prompt 💖

This one might be a bit triggering to some people since it deals with depression and scars! Be careful if you know you’re easily triggered, I don’t want to cause anyone to feel anything they’d rather not deal with right now

Whizzer started to stir as the sun hit his eyes through the blinds. He groaned and turned to his side, pulling the blanket between his legs and tightly against his chest. It was still warm all over - it hadn’t been long since Marvin had gotten up and left for work. Whizzer usually woke to the sounds of Marvin quietly shuffling around getting ready, or the latest when Marvin bent down and kissed his forehead, mumbling a soft ‘bye’.

That morning Whizzer hasn’t stirred. He’d been up till the early hours of the morning working on photography. Since it was summer, the nights were long and the soft, pale light of the setting sun had painted everything pastel and gold. It had been way past four when Whizzer finally crawled under the blanket he shared with the love of his life, too tired to remember to put on his plaid pj pants.

Whizzer groaned again as he pressed his eyes shut even tighter, trying to will himself to fall back to sleep. If Marvin had just left, it meant the clock wouldn’t show much more than 8am and Whizzer just didn’t want to wake up just yet. He’d kind of fallen back into the habit of sitting up when Marvin left, pretending like he was about to start his day too, but just going back to sleep as soon as he heard the door fall shut. This time, sleep just didn’t seem like it wanted to stay in bed with Whizzer. He tossed and turned for a while and then just gave up, threw the blanket aside, and frustrated he stood up.

The past few months had been a kind of a fog. Whizzer’s head seemed to be full of static and he couldn’t seem to concentrate. He either slept too much or too little. When Marvin was home, he kept up the happy exterior of a happy husband - well, boyfriend, since Marvin still hadn’t proposed - since everything between the two of them was good. They’d been together for two and a half years now, after growing a bit while spending time apart and then finally loving each other unconditionally after that fateful baseball game. Not that Whizzer complained or anything, he never admitted that he kind of would’ve wanted a wedding since Marvin didn’t believe in marriage after what happened between him and Trina. Whizzer couldn’t blame his lover, though, so he just stayed quiet when Marvin bashed on weddings and ceremonies and vows.

Eyes distant and face blank, Whizzer made his way towards the living room. He pulled his boxers up to keep them from falling and ran a hand through his messy hair. Marvin was good to him. Apart from the wedding thing, there wasn’t much they viewed differently. Their continuous fighting from the early months of their relationship had disappeared, replaced by loving bickering that made them both laugh in the end. Of course they still fought every now and then, but the toxicity of their love was gone. Now it was just that. Love. And Whizzer should’ve been over the moon. They had a beautiful home and Marvin took care of everything, meaning Whizzer got to do what he loved. He sold his photos to newspapers and worked gigs every now and then - wedding photography and whatnot - and everything was simply good. The quality of their lives together was good.

And yet, Whizzer woke up almost daily now and felt absolutely nothing.

The two years Whizzer and Marvin spent apart had been rough on Whizzer. He knew Marvin thought he’d spent them sleeping around and partying, but the reality was something different. He’d spent weeks behind closed doors, forgetting to eat and sleep. Of course every now and then he went to the bar and brought home a gorgeous stranger to drown out the ice that tore his skin where Marvin used to place his lips. In all honesty, Whizzer didn’t even remember that time too well. He’d been full of static and darkness and when he wasn’t drinking his brains out, he was sleeping. It was like a drunken haze minus the drunk part two thirds of the time.

But that feeling had disappeared when Marvin stepped back into Whizzer’s life. At least that’s what he thought and for a long while, over a year, that had been true. Everything was just so good and it really seemed like Whizzer had gotten clear. The only thing reminding him of the hardship that their breakup had brought him were his thighs, full of thin scars like a tiger’s coat. Whizzer had hated himself for pushing Marvin so far away that he’d actually left. He’d hated himself and he’d felt disgusted every single time he brought a stranger home. Booze and loud music couldn’t take that away and when Whizzer was alone, it had become too much.

The scarring had faded a ton, but the once rather deep slashes never really disappeared. They were there, a constant reminder for Whizzer to never let Marvin go. A constant reminder that he might not be enough. A constant reminder that he’d pushed Marvin’s buttons hard enough to make him walk away once already. The haze had started to come back and Whizzer’s days started to blend together again. He smiled to Marvin and kept his cocky grin up at cocktail parties, but when he was alone, he didn’t do much. Marvin didn’t know, but he hadn’t been on a work gig for a while and the previous night had been the first time he’d gotten out in days. Whizzer knew he was a good enough actor to hide it from the people around you and honestly, he didn’t want to feel like a burden. After all, he’d wrecked Trina’s family, Marvin didn’t need anything more to worry over, and the lesbians next door had enough on their plate with Charlotte being a doctor working long hours. He could handle it alone. And even if he couldn’t, would it really be that big a deal? He was just a pretty boy and nothing more.

Absentmindedly, Whizzer sat on the couch and ran his fingers over the uneven skin of his right thigh. He didn’t even really register he’d walked across the apartment and into the living room, but there he was, and his foggy eyes stayed still staring into nothingness. The silence felt deafening and soon enough Whizzer turned on the tv, curling up and letting his mind stay blank. The white noise made it feel like the crushing weight of feeling nothing, feeling like nothing, wasn’t as heavy and it was easier to just sit there. If the tv was on and Marvin came home early, Whizzer could always say he was watching some show without him just sitting there being questioned. The static in his head combined with the white noise from the tv filled his ears and numbed him, in a way, and he missed the knock that came from the door.

Whizzer didn’t realize someone had entered until he heard a voice from the doorway that led to the kitchen. It made him jump and his brain took much longer than was normal to decipher what had been said to him.“Hey, Whiz,” a soft voice had called and Whizzer blinked his pale eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. When he finally turned around to see who it was, he met the eyes of a worried blonde.

“Cordelia,” Whizzer stated with little emotion in his voice, trying to sound delighted, “what’s up?”“I just brought you some gefilte fish,” she said and offered Whizzer a smile. Cordelia walked over and sat next to Whizzer, worry evident in her eyes. “Aren’t you cold?”“No, not really,” Whizzer replied, but Cordelia was already pulling the blanket off the back of the couch. Before Whizzer could react, she’d already bent over and started to place it over his lap.

A gasp escaped Delia as her eyes shot wide, then her shocked expression immediately turned into a worried frown. Her motion had stopped completely and she just stared at Whizzer’s bare thighs. Confused, Whizzer turned his head to glance down, sure that he was definitely wearing his pj pants like he always did. His heart skipped a beat and then broke into pieces when he realized he was just in his boxers. Blinking, he had to turn his head as not to cry from the humiliating feeling of Cordelia finding out just how weak he was. The spiderweb of scars were clearly self inflicted and by the look on Cordelia’s face, she hadn’t missed that.

In that exact moment, Whizzer wanted to die. He swallowed hard to get rid of the knot forming in his throat as Delia sat beside him, gripping the blanket so hard her knuckles turned white. “Whizzer, baby,” she started with a choked voice, “what happened?” When Whizzer didn’t say anything and just kept staring away and blinking away tears, she finally looked up with tears in her own eyes. “I knew Marvin was worried about you, but we had no idea it was this bad.”

Hearing Marvin’s name pulled Whizzer from his static and his eyes moved to his friend. For a moment, he just looked at Cordelia. Then, with another blink, his cheeks got wet with pouring tears and a sob tore free from somewhere deep in his chest.

Whizzer lowered his head to his hands and just cried, broken and hurt, sobs shaking his body. Cordelia immediately dropped the blanket and moved closer, pulling Whizzer against her chest, trying to keep it together. “I-I-I-“ Whizzer started, unable to get any words through the violent sobs he couldn’t control.“Shh, honey, just breathe,” Cordelia soothed him in response, hands already going through his hair in a soft way, letting him know he was loved, “it’s okay.” Whizzer’s arms moves away from his face and wrapped around Cordelia’s torso, like a desperate and lost child, and he buried his face against her shoulder. For a long time, they sat there, Whizzer sobbing continuously and Cordelia holding him, saying it’d be okay, ignoring her own wet cheeks.

When Whizzer’s sobs finally started to die down, replaced with hiccups, Cordelia pulled away a bit. “I’ll go get you some water and tissues, okay baby?” She asked and stood up and Whizzer let his arms drop from around her waist. He nodded his head, avoiding looking at her and pulled the blanket up that had fallen on the floor. Cordelia moved fast and was back in what felt like a heartbeat with a big glass of water and a box of tissues. She sat back down next to the mess of a man and held out her hands. Whizzer mumbled a thank you as he took the glass of water, downed it in one, and placed the glass on the living room table to be able to wipe his face with the tissues. He took the box from Cordelia and blew his nose, drying his snotty and wet face, knowing he looked slightly dead.“Now,” Cordelia started softly again and Whizzer just fiddled with the messy tissues, “what’s going on?”

At first, Whizzer just shrugged his shoulders as another wave of tears tried to wash over him. He took in several sharp breaths to keep it from happening and tried to keep it together.“Whizzer, I love you and you can tell me what’s happening,” Delia continued and Whizzer nodded silently, swallowing hard again. Then he sighed out and finally spoke.“I just- I just feel so broken,” his voice was rough and full of pain, “like I’m absolutely nothing.” Cordelia put an arm over his shoulders to help him stay grounded, but her eyes spoke about how badly her heart broke at the words.“I don’t- I don’t know- I should be happy, yknow? Marvin and I, we’re- we’re so good, we’re happy, and I should be happy. I just can’t do it. When we were apart, it was the first time of my life, and that’s documented on my skin. That’s what you saw. I’m just- I don’t feel like I’m enough. We’re good but I still feel like he deserves better, like he deserves someone who’s worthy. I broke us up once, I feel like I’ll do it again,” Whizzer word-vomited, his hands shaking.“Marvin loves you,” Cordelia responded with kindness, “he wouldn’t give up on you. He’s noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately and that’s why I’m here. He asked me to come see you. But you said those scars are old? What’s up with you now, you’ve lost weight and I can’t remember the last time I saw your laughter reach your eyes.”

Cordelia’s words hit Whizzer hard. Maybe he hadn’t been as good at hiding the pain as he’d thought he was. A dry, almost bitter laugh that choked into a sob left his lips before he could say anything more and he had to gather himself again.“When I see my scars, I remember all that again. I just- it’s that- everything’s a haze nowadays. I should be happy and instead I can’t remember the last time I had a coherent thought or actually enjoyed waking up,” he explained and shook his head, “even showering is difficult.” Cordelia had noticed that Whizzer’s usually perfect hair was greasy and unstyled for a while now and it alone should’ve been a warning bell. “Oh could’ve come to us earlier, Whiz,” Cordelia said quietly and stroked his cheek with her soft hand. Whizzer nodded again.“I know, I just- didn’t want- want to feel like a burden.”“You could never be a burden,” Cordelia said, sounding almost scared of what Whizzer had said. He just shrugged his shoulders.

“When’s the last time you ate?” Delia suddenly asked and it made Whizzer finally look at her.“Uh, I had a candy bar last night…”“Proper food, Whizzer,” she shoved his shoulder gently, smiling softly though she dreaded his answer.“I- I don’t really know, honestly,” Whizzer said and averted his gaze again.“Okay, we’re gonna get you some food now, then we’re getting you in the shower and I’m calling Marvin. Together we can figure this out and get you to someone who can help get that static out of your head and your cocky arrogance back,” she said with determination in her voice that filled Whizzer with a strange kind of warmth. He didn’t want Marvin to know, but deep inside he knew it was the only way for him to get better. And he wanted to get better. He wanted back the happy life he had with the love of his life. And he wasn’t alone. He didn’t have to fight alone anymore. Whizzer just needed to hear that, to know he didn’t need to be brave anymore. And now he didn’t. Delia an Marvin would fight with him.

Cordelia stood up and held out her hand. Whizzer took it without hesitating and stood up a bit shakily, returning Delia’s soft smile with a real one for the first time in months. It would be okay.

[prettyway]

Bookstore kid | Zach Herron | (PT.3)

A/N: Because pt.1 was so popular and pt.2 was requested, I decided pt.3 wouldn’t be so ludicrous.

Summary:

Pt.1: The boys encourage Zach to get your number, and when Zach gains confidence to do so, he also thinks of an idea - that he thinks is rather cute - on how to get your number.

Pt.2: You go about your life, return to Barnes and Noble on the next Thursday to read your book, only for it to lead to a series of semi-annonymous messages.

Pt.3: The Saga continues, and a newfound obsession begins.

Word count: 972. (EVEN LONGER)

Warning: you might swerve to Zachs lane???? fluff is coming!

Prompt: #172. “Can I borrow that book of yours?”

Every visit to Barnes and Noble became more and more exciting as the letters continued. After Zach had read your last reply, he added a fresh new piece of paper to the book and wrote his reply.

“I strongly feel as if it is unfair that you know my name, yet but all I know about you is your love for this book - that we have completely vandalised.” Then, just like always, he left the store. The frequent employee’s at Barnes and Noble had kept an eye on you two ever since the day it had all begun. They began picking up on what you were both doing - and secretly read the letters themselves. Usually they’d respect the privacy of others, but it was in a book for heavens sake, anyone could have read it by now. They thought it was beyond adorable, and regretted that eventually they would have to ask, under managers rules, that any vandalised items should be purchased by the culprit. But for now, they let it continue.

You smiled at the boy and girl who had seemingly watched you for a few visit now before finding wherever Zach left the book this time. Once it was in your hold, you began writing in it. You didn’t bother sitting down, as you couldn’t stay for long. “What a pity.. It’s a shame that I wasn’t the one with an ever so bright idea to write in a book from a bookstore, that didn’t belong to me.” You shut the book, walked to the fourth isle and placed it between two Harry Potter books before proceeding out of the store with a kind wave to the workers.

Zach had fallen quite busy since the last check up, due to being famous and all. So when he had the chance, he was at the bookstore. He returned four times the week, three times he left disappointed, the fourth time he left happier than ever since you had replied.

“You’re such a hypocrite! You’re doing the same thing as we speak, well kind of... sorry for any late replies, band meetings and whatnot have my schedule filled. :(”

When it came to your reply, you were stuck on what to say. Not only were you stuck, but you were shocked. Zach didn’t seem like the type of boy to be in a band, but at the same time you only knew him through paper. So you decided it was time to get information. “Touché, touché... but you started it. And it’s not a problem, I have been busy too lately, hence my week-long waits. You’re in a band? What do you do?”

Zach was in the middle of warming up when his phone rang. He flew over and picked it up, hoping it was the girl from the books. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Zach?”

“Yes, who is this?” Zach bit his nails, nervous for the reply. That seemed to be a new habit of his, biting his nails while he anxiously waited for a reply.

“This is Leslie Tyan, I’m the manager of Barnes and Noble. We need to meet so you can pay for the book you vandalised, and considering it looks like its a two way conversation, we can arrange for the respondent to pay for half,” Zach sighed, he only wanted it to be the girl that he knew from paper.

“Uh, no it’s okay. I’ll pay for it myself. Thank you,” He replied.

“Okay, and Zach, next time, if you’re going to try and give a girl your number, maybe don’t write it on something that is open to the public,” Leslie laughed before beginning to arrange a day for the book to be paid for.

He worried that it would be the end of the - what felt like - never ending series of paper-notes, but an idea came to mind. “Hey, Leslie?”

“Yes?”

“Would it be stupid of me to ask if I could buy the book, but keep it at Barnes and Noble? If you read anything inside, it’s kind of a blossoming thing between this girl and I, and since we’re finally getting somewhere I’d like for it to continue until she connects with me voice to voice,”

Leslie hummed on the other end, making Zach concerned of his plan crumpling. “Fine,”

“Thank you so much!” Zach hung up the phone and immediately rushed to Barnes and Noble after being dismissed by their manager.

After he had paid for the book, which he had planned to give to you once you finally meet, he wrote another little message in it. Leslie had told him that she thought the idea was actually very cute, and seemingly very movie like.

“Okay, yes you caught me.. And so did the manager of Barnes and Noble. Maybe if you’d call me we could discuss the story behind what I had just said and we could talk about my band, your move, Bookstore girl.”

It took you a whole two weeks to reply. You had babysat the entire first week, due to your mom and the neighbour both going on a holiday to Spain. The second week you were caught up with schoolwork and chores, and so when the first free Sunday rolled around, you sped over to Barnes and Noble - this time actually enjoying being able to sit and read a book. Not before replying to Zach first, of course.

You playfully rolled your eyes as you began scribbling your reply. “Two whole weeks later and it’s back to this. I’ve been busy again, oops. And mom made me read a new series of books, she got annoyed by how many theories I had on the book - so I had almost forgotten about this book. You’re not going to give up, are you?”

A/N: Not long left until the ending now. I decided to stop it here because it’s getting long &&& kinda all over the place. Pt.4 coming soon. ;)

[silverynight]

Prompt: everyone at the ministry forgot Newt's birthday (even Newt) and the morning of his birthday his desk or office is FLOODED with gifts and letters and owls or whatnot and everyone is trying to figure out why&Newt starts crying at this photo book that Queenie made of Newt's time at MACUSA(the cover is a picture ofNewt,Graves,Tina,Queenie and Jacob!) the letters are from everyone from MACUSA even serphina! Then some asshole pureblood upsets Newt by being mean&Theseus comes and kicks his ass

I’d like to write this as a continuation of the last one I posted about Theseus and Newt. Here’s the link to the first Chapter

***

Where home is

Chapter 2

It’s been a month since Newt came back to England and he’s also been working for the Ministry. He believes he got the job mostly because of his brother ‘cause honestly nobody in there seems to care that much for magical creatures.

Still he does what he can.

He also knows he’s not liked very much inside the Ministry (he’s so different and doesn’t stay at any place for too long), but at least he’s respected and that’s just because Theseus Scamander is his brother.

He misses New York, well… actually he just misses his friends. But his home is in England as Theseus reminds him very often, besides, it’s not that bad at least his brother is always with him.

And Theseus… He’s always been so kind and patient with him. Newt knows he doesn’t deserve that because he’s constantly been the disappointment of the Scamander’s family. His parents thought that, but not Theseus… he’s the only one who always have been encouraging him to do whatever he wants. That’s why after their parents passed away he was glad that his brother became his official guardian.

That’s why he thanks Merlin to have a brother like him. A brother that sometimes seems to think about him first rather than himself.

So it’s not really a surprise to him when he walks in the kitchen in the morning and sees the table full of blueberry pancakes. His favourites.

Right, it’s his birthday.

Newt can’t stop the smile forming on his face when Theseus hugs him and kisses him on his curly hair.

“So… What do you want to do tonight?” Theseus asks. “We can go wherever you like to celebrate!”

Newt bites his lip. He knows Theseus would enjoy going to a pub or something like that, but he doesn’t find appealing to be around strangers and honestly he prefers to study and take care of creatures.

“I was thinking… I-I mean… The muggles have places they call animal shelters and they keep injured or weak non-magical creatures in there and I’d like to go to one of them and learn more about how they help them.” Newt blurts out, a flush spreading all over his cheeks. He remembers family dinners and how their parents used to scold at him for liking such things instead of being more ‘normal’.

Theseus doesn’t seem angry or irritated when Newt looks up at him, instead his lips quirk into a genuine smile.

“Of course! I told you, we can do anything you want,” he assures. “I have an idea. How about we go to the Ministry for a couple of hours and then go to find that animal shelter of yours.”

“I can’t, my boss doesn’t let anybody go till eight,” Newt explains.

But then, there’s a mischievous smirk on Theseus face when he says “don’t worry, little bird, leave your boss to me.”

And that’s one of the things that always make Newt wonder how much power does his brother really has in the Ministry of Magic.

***

Of course none of his colleagues remembers it’s his birthday, it doesn’t really matter anyway because he never liked them that much.

So that isn’t what makes him burst into tears. No, that’s not it.

He starts crying when he reaches his desk and sees all the gifts and letters from New York. And he sobs even more when he opens the album Queenie made for him with all the pictures of his friends at MACUSA. There’s Jacob too and Mr Graves, even though Newt never met him (because he was still unconscious when he left), but he looks better.

“Please do us a favor and go back to New York,” Fergus Fleamont comments. He’s leaning over his desk looking at him with disgust.

He always stares at him like that, but Newt’s used to people’s annoyed glares so he decided to keep that from his brother.

He wasn’t aware of how much Fleamont seemed to hate him till that morning.

Newt tries to ignore him.

“It must be a disappointment to a wizard as known as Theseus Scamander to have a brother like you. Even your parents were ashamed of you, everyone talked about that.”

He looks at the ground, letting the words to sink in his mind and somehow they start to make sense.

“But look, kid. Just think about what I say. I think your brother would appreciate if you put some distance between the two of you… I mean I know I wouldn’t want to be linked to a man that caused a disaster in New York. You really are a walking mess, aren’t you?”

Newt resists the temptation to nod and looks up just to catch a flash of light after the corner of his eye and realizing Fleamont fell to the ground.

“Are you okay?” Theseus asks looking at Newt’s face with a worried expression.

“Yes,” he manages to say and tries to stop himself from sobbing even more.

Theseus smiles caresses his cheek with his thumb.

“You know you can tell me if you don’t want me here you can say it, right?” Newt breathes and tries to calm himself down.

“What? Who said I didn’t-” he begins but stops as soon as he realizes. Theseus turns to look at the terrified figure on the ground who seems even more scared now that has the auror’s full attention on him. “I see.”

“L-look, Mr Scamander it was just a little joke, I didn’t really m-mean it,” Fleamont babbles, putting his hands up in surrender.

“He was crying when I got here,” Theseus reminds him almost with a growl. “You made him suffer…”

“'Seus, please,” Newt takes him by the arm.

Luckily, Dodge, his boss, arrives then and glares at Fleamont.

“What’s going on?”

But just when Newt’s about to say ‘Nothing, everything’s fine’ his brother steps in.

“He insulted my little brother,�� Theseus explains.

“Don’t worry, Sir… I’ll take care of it,” Dodge tells them without asking any further about the situation just accepting the auror’s word on it.

“Fire him.”

Newt almost squeaks then because that was a direct order. An order that the head of another Department decides to follow.

“Of course, Sir.”

“I think that’s too much, 'Seus,” he says but it’s too late because Dodge takes Fleamont by the arm and they both walk out of the room.

“C'mon, little one. Let’s go visit that animal shelter,” Theseus offers and takes his brother’s hand.

But Newt shakes his head.

“I just want to go home,” he sighs.

“What? Why? You were very excited about the shelter…”

“I-I still am, it’s just that I don’t want to go today. Can we stay home and watch movies instead?”

“Whatever your heart wants,” Theseus tells him and puts a hand around his shoulders. “I’ll make cocoa. But I think I’m gonna kill that bastard first.”

Newt giggles.

“That’s not very appropriate coming from a senior auror working for the Ministry, 'Seus” he comments. “If you do it, you’ll have to take yourself to Azkaban.”

Theseus winks at him.

“That won’t happen. I make the rules around here, they’ll forgive me.”

Newt burst into laughter and feels his heart warming up again.

***

When they get back to Theseus’ house, his older brother gives him the gift he was saving for the night.

It’s a rare and beautiful book about basilisks. A book he’s been looking for since forever and thought he would never find.

He thanks his brother and sits comfortably on the couch unable to wait a second longer to start reading it.

“I’ll be in the kitchen,” Theseus informs and Newt barely nods in response.

He hears Theseus chuckle even from there.

But he also hears a knock at the door. Intrigued, since Theseus hasn’t had any visitors since Newt arrived, he rises from the couch and opens the door.

“Uh… Hello? Mr Graves?” Newt blurts out, confused of seeing the American auror there.

Graves blinks at him for a few seconds before he can react. Then his lips quirk up into a full grin.

“You must be Newt Scamander… I mean… I have seen you, in pictures. Miss Goldstein keeps showing them to me and I… They told me what you did for me and I wanted to say thank you,” Graves manages to explain, but it isn’t quite clear to Newt yet. But of course he ignores that feeling because he’s more interested in asking about Tina and Queenie. He assumes he can’t talk about Jacob since he’s a muggle and probably Graves still thinks he has been obliviated.

Newt smiles back at him and he’s about to let him in, when Theseus walks in between them, blocking Newt’s view with his body.

Theseus points at Graves with his wand like he’s about to attack him. The other auror arches an eyebrow in surprise, but doesn’t move away.

“During the war… When I lost almost all my regiment and one of my soldiers took his own life in front of us I told you-”

“You told me you understood why a man could do such thing,” Graves interrupts.

“But I also explained why I’d never do it myself,” Theseus continues. “I gave you a reason. What was it?”

“You said you’d never do something like that because you had Newt,” the auror answers. “Because he was at home waiting for you to come back to him.”

Theseus nods in approval and steps aside.

“You can come in,” he invites the other auror.

When they’re back in the living room, Graves pulls a little teacup out of his coat.

“Miss Goldstein told me it was your birthday so I brought you this,” he says while he gives Newt the cup.

The magizoologist squeaks in delight when he sees the tiny baby occamy looking up at him from the cup.

“We found it in a basement, some wizards were trafficking with them,” he continues and for a moment looks sad. “We couldn’t save the rest.”

Newt feels his heart a little cold at the words, still he looks at the occamy and pets her head. She lets him and closes her eyes.

“I managed to convince Picquery to let me give it to you, because I thought it’d be better with you. You care about them.”

Newt knows he’s grinning from ear to ear when he turns his head to Mr Graves. He makes an effort this time and makes eye contact with him.

Then suddenly Graves’ face is covered by a deep blush. Or maybe is just the way the light is coming from the window that makes Newt imagine things.

He puts the cup in Theseus’ hands; his brother is confused by that, but doesn’t protest.

Then Newt walks right towards Graves and hugs him.

“That’s the best gift someone has ever given to me, thank you.”

Graves is so shocked he can’t even talk nor move. But just when Newt tries to step back, he feels a pair of hands on his waist.

“Mr Scamander-”

“Please call me Newt.”

Someone clears his throat behind them.

“I think you should go and introduce it to the others. Also it must be hungry.”

“You’re right, 'Seus,” Newt beams, excited and walks back to his brother to take the occamy and pull her close to his chest. “Thank you, Mr Graves.”

“Percival is fine.”

“Nice to meet you, Percival,” Newt smiles one last time then walks towards the stairs.

“My pleasure,” he hears the auror answer.

He definitely misses Theseus’ frown.

[orihime-maychan]

So I did a past life regression (for the first time) and this is my personal account O_o

Hello there, it is I, Orihime with an actual original (and long AF) post again. Well, not exactly super long but based on my previous posts, it sure is. I have been trying to do some meditating and stuff but I just had no idea how to do it. After a few successful tries, I then tried doing a past-life regression sesh. I used this quick and guided meditation regression video just to get an experience, so if you’d want to try for yourself, AFTER you have read my disclaimers and notes at the end of this post just click THIS . =) And if you’d want to know what happened to my own session, just keep reading. Thank you ^-^

After following the setting and calming down prompts of the video here is THE ACCOUNT of what I saw:

I kept seeing a sun rising on the horizon, despite the prompts saying that it was a starry night out on the sea. I felt the boat or whatever water vessel I was riding on to be heading on a North-western direction from wherever I came from. After a few more prompts I finally saw an island with a hill, and it was a light brown. I reached the island but I felt myself jumping off the boat, wading on the water and then walking on the dry, sandy shore. The beach had weird, yellow and fine sand, with cottages that seem reminiscent of coastal villages of the tropics. I actually smelled vegetable plants and crisp, sun-dried laundry, which I just absolutely like. In the middle of the coastal village there was this weird, dark passageway which somewhat reminds me of a cave but is actually made up of intertwined vines so it doesn’t feel so cool, and the humidity is quite low. I stepped down on some dark-brown stone steps which just lay on top of the weird yellow sand, but just a few steps after that instead of simply walking on steady ground I actually crossed what feels like a newly-built hanging bridge that was surprisingly sturdy. After the stone step prompt started again, I found myself finally crossing the bridge and seeing the dark stone steps again and finally going out into the light. It was still sandy and stuff but it felt more like a desert now, like Gobi or something but with yellow sand. I didn’t see any more huts even if the prompt says so, just high cliffs with golden-brown stones, and I just started running even before the prompt says so. Like I just started running upwards and around the chiseled hill until I found some stone steps and proceeded to climbing upwards, until I got into the bright but misty summit. I felt a strong presence of a red dragon (imagine Avatar Roku’s dragon, but with Toothless’ head shape), and I felt that he was waiting for me or something, so I just kept running until I saw the dragon.

Now, here’s the part where it gets really weird. I saw the dragon’s head first but then he lifted his head and then there was this guy, he looks like a warrior of some sort but not really, maybe a rounin (wanderer) but wears clothes like those in the A:TLA universe. He resembles an adult Prince Zuko but minus the scar, the angst, and the red clothes (OMG now I’m really weirded out, I realized this just now). But this guy has green, sandy-brown colors, (Earth-kingdom colors?!!) and when I got prompted to ask him questions, this rounin-warrior guy (let’s just call him Zuko-guy for now) didn’t talk. At all. He just shook his head as if saying NO. But being the annoying person that I am, I just pestered him to tell me who he was. Nope, nothing. Until he took my hand and we flew over the side of the summit that the dragon hid behind his back. Then I saw a nice, quaint East-Asian village, something within the Earth kingdom but a bit smaller, like Toph’s place or whatnot. OMG, another realization hits again. >_< So anyway, Zuko-guy took me to his place, and it was quite huge, but it seems that he lives alone there now, and when the prompt asks if he has any family members, I couldn’t feel any, like he had none there at the moment. I asked him again if he was alone and if he had any family, but I just couldn’t sense any. Weirdly he pulled my hand again and showed me (in flying fashion, of course) the insides of his home. There were a lot of servants, some ladies in waiting, but I strongly felt that he had no family members at all. He was alone, and he felt a bit lonely but not too much. Maybe he was an aristocrat who manages things? I’m not sure.

Things just couldn’t seem to get any weirder when I suddenly felt my soul merge into his body, and I started to feel myself fly towards the center of his house, where there was a courtyard with that same yellow sand and a tree was in the middle. Kinda like the square garden inside a Japanese-style temple thingy? That place just allowed me to plop right in, and I felt this overwhelming sense of peace, only to realize Zuko-guy appears again, smiles and weirdly pushes me out of the courtyard place into the edge of the house, flying-style of course. I suddenly realized that the whole place was built like a fortress; it had high walls of dark, gray stone which I saw just before stopping right in front of a small grove just in front of the walls. I started walking while feeling the wall because it actually looked quite cool. Then all of a sudden I saw the Gobi-desert looking place again, and when I turned back to look, the fortress was gone. I saw Zuko-guy beckoning me to look at the expanse of the desert, like just stare all around and look at the sun, the barren place with no life, basically the cactus-juice episode in A:TLA. I asked him why he was there, and he just smiles. All of a sudden I got pulled in this portal-warp tunnel thing and before I knew it I was flying over the Gobi desert, like I got sucked inside Zuko-guy’s body again. I saw so many stones and rocks on the desert while flying over that vast, yellow and sandy area like I was an actual dragon. Just when I thought it was over I got sucked into that portal thing again and I actually resisted a bit because the view was great, so I tried to see the ground and the sky for the last time before I allowed myself to enter that portal thing again. I flew back into Zuko-guy’s place again, and I found him sitting on the front building’s moon-watching platform. He seems to have been contemplating on what happened and I suddenly found myself feeling that he was now truly alone in his place, like the servants were all gone now. He made me feel like he tried to find enlightenment and all that jazz but when he got home his house was quite empty now. But weirdly, he made me feel that the spiritual journey was worth it. Also, I kinda felt that he went into a time slip and now, despite living in the same area, his physical body has somewhat entered another plane of existence and I could feel that his servants were still there but not in our plane of reality, like Silent Hill or something. After this I suddenly heard the prompt that I now had to go back to my own reality, and being the clingy person that I am, I had to begrudgingly go back to where I came from, starting from the summit where the red dragon was, to the stone steps that I climbed on, to the rocky sides of the hill where there were no houses, but because the prompt was so fast I just jumped on the side of the hill to reach the beach where there were huts and once I saw the boat I simply jumped high on board and sailed forth into the sunset, or noon.

The sun was still too bright when I left the island, and I felt strongly that I really didn’t wanna leave yet. The prompt of getting back to the present and my physical body pretty much did not stop my thoughts of staying, and even after the guided meditation was over I could still feel my hands and my legs tingling like I haven’t fully-settled in my physical body yet. It took me another minute to shake the feeling off before I finished the session.

Some realizations after the session

It turns out that there had been reasons why I have an actual strong tie with East Asian cultures, and this actually pretty much showed with the ideas and thoughts that I hold dear, even when I was a child. I can tell that it was very, very strong because no matter how much my environment seemed to deem Western cultures and ideas much more than Eastern ones, I had a strong hold on the latter, to the point that I actually can relate a bit more with East Asian ideals than with Western ideals. I guess this could also explain why I have a strong connection with Japanese and Chinese cultures growing up, even when at present we absolutely have no solid connections to such cultures other than what we see on TV. But then again, this is just one past life that I had, and in the future I might try to find out if I had other lives too, so I could write something like this again, maybe for other people who are also thinking about doing something like this too, but probably for myself so I could keep a record on whatever I am doing right now.

Notes on doing a session like this

1. Originally, I find it hard to focus and concentrate on the vocal prompts so prior to this session, I tried listening to a few guided meditations that helped me slow down my thoughts, my breathing, and my movements. Upon being able to attain musou (the state of no-mind or a blank mind) and hold it for longer than 10 seconds (yay I could do it now) it should be easier to let the mind go on creating the imagery or allowing images to appear without exerting a strong, conscious effort to do so. If you are interested in trying this out, I might suggest searching for some YT vids on guided meditations. There are a lot of free ones that could last anywhere between 10-30 minutes for beginners.

2. If planning to start a guided meditation or a regression, I would suggest on getting into a comfy position, preferably sitting upright and wearing warm, comfy clothes. The first time I tried a guided meditation I felt my body got pretty cold, quick. It made me so uncomfortable that I lost musou-mode and I couldn’t get back into it until an hour later, because the sudden coldness just freaked me out. A few words of comfort though, according to some studies, the body would normally decrease its metabolic rate during sleep and meditation sessions, so apparently my metabolism actually slowed down during the session because it got into the zone. Also, if you’re tired AF just don’t do it, especially on the bed because it will get too relaxing that your body would just let go and sleep. I had to play the video four times, and for the last attempt I did it fully awake and in a sitting position, which actually gave results. Similarly, please do not attempt getting into the zone when you’re actually required to stay awake in the real world because you have a class, a job, driving, or something of that sort. Please be responsible =)

3. I don’t know about others but for me, once I feel a strong, tingling sensation on the part of my head where the pre-frontal cortex lies (somewhere around the forehead area) it just signals to me that I have better reception to guided prompts. You can try finding out how your own body gives a signal to tell you that it is in a state of relaxation and can actually work with visualization guides.

4. It takes a leap of faith in trying something as weird as a past-life regression, so if you feel that after listening to the prompt and nothing happened for you, just take your time, especially in getting in the relaxed and comfy state. The brain can be quite resistant to certain ideas and prompts when it’s still dealing with real world stresses, so I would suggest that a few sessions of guided meditations be a prerequisite to prepare the mind, like a stretching exercise for the brain.

5. I am not saying that undergoing unsupervised hypnotherapy sessions, past-life regressions or guided meditations are sufficient alternatives to going to qualified or certified medical personnel in order to address real medical issues (including those that involve the mind), but rather I think it’s the other way around because even if it doesn’t seem like it, licensed professionals have a license for a reason, which is mainly to prevent others from getting harmed by their own actions. So please, please be cautious in dabbling with such ideas. If all else fails, maybe you can try it? I think that’s where the magic usually happens. But if you get results going to a pro while still thinking if an alternative method of treatments looms on the horizon, then just ask if it is possible to get alternative methods into your therapy too. If they really know what they’re doing, they could at least explain such important stuff to you.

If you have any questions about this post, please send them to my inbox or smth. I’ll try to document any regression or meditation/visualization sessions I might do in the future, just to add information to whatever is existing on the internet right now. Also, I am doing this as a record for my future self, which I would like to be a bit better, if not A LOT better than whatever state I am in right now. Ok, I guess that’s about it, take care everyone and may your day be as bright and shiny as the celestial bodies in the sky.

 Your friend,

Orihime M.