#wrong message

[holylulusworld]

Wrong message

Summary: A case of the wrong number…

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x fem!reader

Warnings: drunk reader, possible alcohol abuse, wrong number trope, implied breaking and entering, implied dark Lloyd (nothing happens)

“Just do it, just do it!” Your friends cheer you on. They are a bad influence, and you shouldn’t spend time with them. Today, they got you drunk. Margaritas are the devil’s work without a doubt. “Message, Mr. sexy ass!”

“Ughh… we had half a date, Kelly,” you slur, failing to unlock your phone. Your eyes are blurry, and you can’t focus on your passcode. “I don’t think he’ll answer.”

“Hey, I called my ex and asked him to send me a dick pic! You won’t chicken out now! It’s always the same with you. You’re no fun.” Kelly accuses you of being lame.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” you curse yourself, but being called lame angers you. “Let me just unlock my phone.”

“I don’t think she can talk,” Cheryl giggles before taking a large sip from her third margarita.

“She can message him,” Kelly replies quickly. “If he doesn’t answer, she can still call him.

“Damn it, bitch!” You curse your phone. “6969.” You giggle as you finally remember your passcode. “Here we go! Be prepared for—”

“The hottest pick-up line ever,” Cheryl cheers you on, while Kelly smirks at your wrecked state. Sam and Adriana already passed out and snored loudly. Not very graceful or hot.

“Hmm…” you scrunch up your face, thinking hard. Your foggy brain makes it difficult to think straight, so you write the first thing that comes to your mind. “Alright.”

Hey, sexy…🍆🍆

You harrumph and stare at your phone as he doesn’t answer.

Are you there, sexy…

… Three dots are all you get. You wait for him to answer, but the dots disappear.

“I don’t think he’s online,” you lie and try to close the chat. “Maybe another time.”

“No, now,” Kelly insists. All of you saw her ex's dick and made fun of her for settling for a tiny and crooked wiener for so long.

You scoff but type the next message. You may be more forward this time.

I wanna suck your dick so bad. I want to feel you shoot your cum down my throat and make your toes curl, and after, you can eat my pussy until I squirt in your face.

… The dots blink for a second, and then, he replies…

Who’s this? Is this a joke? I swear you’ll regret messing with me, sunshine!

“Fuck! Fuck!” You look at the number, realizing it’s not Scott’s number. You cry reading a stranger's reply. “I texted the wrong number!” You glare at Kelly. “That’s all your fault. Now some random creep has my number!”

“Fuck…shit!” Cheryl panics. “Okay. Just text him back and tell him it was a case of a mistaken number. He’ll understand. You can block his number if he’s a creep!”

“Okay! Good idea!” You try to stop your hands from shaking before you reply.

Oops…sorry dude. Wrong number. I hope you have a good night!

He immediately replies to your message this time.

Hell no, this is the right number, cupcake. Tell me where you are, and you can suck my nuts too. I’ll pay you back and let you ride my stache.

“Ride his stache?” Kelly cackles, much to your dismay. She can be a little too much sometimes. You still feel bad for texting the wrong guy, and she has to laugh about your mishap. “Who wears a mustache? Only losers.”

“You don’t even know the guy,” you huff. “This is your fault.”

Suddenly sober, you close the app and decide to forget about your mistake. He will get that you’re not interested in sucking a stranger’s dick.

Some hours later, your friends left, and you’re drifting in and out of your drunken haze. You groan, feeling something tickle your foot.

“Fuck off,” you grumble and kick the invisible hand touching you. “I’m tired.”

“Now, now,” you hear someone purr in your ear, “is that the way to treat a man flying down here to eat that cunt?”

A cold shiver runs down your spine, and you sit up, screaming, as the stranger is standing in your bedroom.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?”

“I came to collect.” He smirks and slowly slides the zipper of his pants down. “I hope your mouth is as good as you promised…”

Tags in reblog.

[duckysprouts]

if you were at your worst, if you’re a villain or a screwup or whatever, there is a goth man dressed as a giant bat who keeps coming after you, bothering you. he sabotages your journey of self destruction over and over. ur ready to give up but he won’t let you. you think, today he won’t come. today he will give up on me too. he never does.

[brie-annwyl]

Jason and Damian meeting at the league but Batfam doesn’t know Jason’s alive is one of my favourite fanfic tropes.

Dick, in his hoe era talking about getting beat tf up by some girl’s boyfriend: I genuinely thought the dude was gonna kill me! I was framed, I swear! Istg someone must’ve planted a strawberry handkerchief on me or something.

Damian, barely listing: was that an Othello reference?

Tim: how did you know that? I didn’t even catch that.

Damian: it was ja- *long pause ensues*

Tim: is his programming malfunctioning?

Dick: Ja??

Damian, brain farting: yep. “Ja”

*frantically messaging Jason saying he almost broke his cover*

—

Damian, annotating Jason’s old copies of the classics: I forgot how much of an idiot you were back then. *takes sticky note off page* “RIP queen, this is actually so depressing.” Yeah, Ophelia just died. Way to state the obvious.

Dick: ??

Damian:

Damian: I’m a medium. He-uh, talks to me.

Dick: oh okay- wait. What?

—

Damian, sneaking back into the manor after having a visit with Jason: *tip toeing his way to the stairs*

Bruce, waiting in the living room with a lamp: Damian, Where were you?

Damian, who can’t improv for shit: uh-

Bruce: *eyebrow raise*

Damian: I was kidnapped by red hood *runs upstairs*

—

Bruce, in his feels era: I wish jaylad was around to see this.

Damian, not thinking: can we not just ask him to come over?

Bruce:

Damian:

Bruce: what-

Damian: we can use a ouija board. That’s how I communicate with him.

Bruce, concerned: what???

[celebrate-lesbianism]

Dear butches,

You are not second place to a man. You are not an experiment, a backup plan, or a shameful secret. You are someone's first choice and she will love you, all of you, as you are. She will treat you like a serious and equal partner, she will be proud to be with you, and your love will see the light of day 🧡

[regicidal-defenestration]

Nearly time for new Doctor Who you know what that means

[cheeseandcake-from-ao3]

[beastlyidiocy]

Feuċ, súile Dé go fuireaċ air

[orbitprism]

𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕝𝕣 𝕒𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔 𝕓𝕠𝕪: ∟Christopher Chahn Bahng

| source: x - x |

[galazyprince]

How did they each first find out they were into each other? And how did they react when they realized it

[thebibliosphere]

I really don't understand hate following.

What's it like to have peaked in high school as a mean girl?

[inkydiamonds]

I HAVE REALIZED SOMETHING.

So. For people who are not Ethoslab watchers, in his most recent episode he showed off these beautiful statues Joel supposedly made of Etho in front of his house.

I figured Joel built them, and it seems Etho did too, because he sent Joel a message via mail about them.

This note... honestly surprised me a bit? I didn't think much of it at first, but the tone of it felt out of place. Obviously these two have this ongoing bit of being obsessed with each other, and they've done nothing recently but yes-and to the sun about it. This note seems to almost shut this bit down, saying "this bit hasn't gone too far yet, because I'm showing this on camera, but it's getting there." Which is a possible explanation for this note! But considering all they've done recently it feels very sudden.

And then. Joel claimed to not have built the statues. "Oh," I thought. "Joel is claiming not to have built the statues because he doesn't want to seem obsessed." Makes sense. Or maybe he *didn't* build the statues and someone is pranking them. That also makes sense.

But it was only when watching Joel talk about it on Impulse's stream, when I heard Joel say "honestly, I think Etho might have done it," that it clicked.

Oh.

This motherfucker.

He 100% did. That's why the message is so weird. Ethoslab built statues of himself outside Joel's base, messaged him via mail saying "that's kinda weird bro" and then DIDN'T EVER REVEAL THAT HE BUILT THEM. Oh my god THIS MAN...

From Etho's audience's perspective it just looks like Joel was continuing being obsessed with Etho, as usual, just another example in a long list. But *Joel* knows he didn't do that and *Etho* knows Joel will figure out who did. This mischievous motherfucker. Oh my godddd I hate them. Listening to him read back the note with that little smile in his voice. I am unwell. Why are they LIKE this

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

He just wants to be missed

[anastacialy]

guys, i think the hermits are going to accidentally start a prank war again. because just like last time, a game of telephone has begun. first, false made iskall's build into ''false beans,'' her shop from the previous season. however, to give herself plausible deniability, she signs it with "love, Joel. x" due to his username, smallishbeans.

next, iskall sees this, and completely believes it. he thinks it was joel who pranked him, and as he says to pearl while showing off the sign, which he kept even after tearing the prank down, "joel gave me a kiss." in his most recent video, he pranks joel by sending him loads of anonymous messages in order to completely spam and fill his inbox, preventing him from getting any more mail, with notes such as "thinking about you. x"

of course, joel is going to have absolutely no context for this, because he didn't make the initial prank. so who is joel going to assume sent him all those messages while he was away on holiday? well, i have a guess.

etho.

[tshifty]

swiftie clowning comes with so much drama these days like 😭 do people forget that we are canonically almost always wrong??? it is a rare moment we get something right that's half the fun of it. the merch store spelled out AMAS just for it to be a red herring that's so funny wdym 😭 people gotta be less serious, none of this matters

[orindis]

. • Message In A Bottle pt. 2.2 • .

The boys who lost their Mama way too early 💛

[andaniellight]

Ethan's absolute hatred and disgust towards AI that can mimic and duplicate human mannerism because the Entity tricked and almost lured him to his demise by using Benji's voice, someone he'd trust and trail after blindly to the end of the world

VS

Ethan having to stop every now and then as he goes on with his days because he's so used to being reminded by Luther about things he'd often forget, little things that'd slipped from his mind as his head injuries and age finally catch up with him, slowly realizing that perhaps one day, although he did promise that he'll continue living while dragging Benji along with him no matter what, now isn't so sure if he wants to actually live long enough to forget the sound of his old friends voice