#xander harris x reader

[noceurstars]

Rupert Giles

“Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.”

Spike / William

—

Xander Harris

—

• header and dividers credit goes to @/saradika

[evvyyypeters-fics]

Forbidden Fruit

William ‘Spike’ Pratt x f!reader

Word count: 5k+

Warnings: smut, pnv, period sex, Spike is a munch, porn w/ plot (sort of), absolutely feral shit, filthy, toe-curling bloody sex with the slutty bad-boy vampire himself, cringe, very specific characterization of Y/N, possible OOC Spike? (idk it's kind of hard to write a British accent lowkey), lots of banter, only like two uses of Y/N, mentions of Xander Harris, idk what else to add--that's it ig. It's some down-bad aah shi ok?

Author's note: My first fic in a whilleeee, hyperfixations always get me motivated. I’m back for now, but only to rant about my latest obsession. I'm actually surprised there was no period sex in BTVS. I mean for a pretty progressive y2k show about sweaty vampire romance and killing and there's not even an implication of periods let alone period sex? Not even a little quip or comment? Either that was too taboo even for BTVS or the writers weren't creative enough to think outside the box. (Either way, I come to serve the people).

It’s already been three days since Spike had that muzzle installed in his head. He refuses to stop complaining about it, and I don’t entirely blame the guy. Technically speaking, for a vampire, being physically modified to prevent the most natural of their instincts is like being forcefully castrated like some wild animal. Sure, it might be for the better and greater good, but it’s still sure to cause some discomfort and distress to said subject. Especially if they are a malicious, murdering monster and not a horny puppy. Though, when it comes to Spike, two things can be true at once.

Having to hand-feed the bound Spike with a mug of blood decorated with a straw was not on my list of things to do this month, that was for sure. But spending time with Spike turned out not to be all that terrible after all. If I just ignore his whining about being hungry because Giles and Buffy only allow him to eat a cup full of animal blood every day, he becomes quite the personality to be around. Specifically when he’s threatening what he’ll do when he eventually gets the chip out of his head and comes back to murder us all in cold blood in that casual, suave British tone that he makes sound so serious. But I know that he’s just bark and no bite now. The Scoobies agreed to keep pathetic Spike around for now since he has some information on the strange men who have been popping up around demon-hunting-related rendezvous, which of course cursed me with the duty of watching and taking care of him while they were off and living in their separate worlds. Separate from mine at least, as I practically lived at Giles’s house now to make sure the new pet dog didn’t get loose from his leash.

Today would have been just like any other day had I not conveniently gotten my period around the time I began babysitting the blood-sucking fiend. A few more days and I may have been relinquished of my duties from the bloodsucker, but alas, I would just have to hope that vampire senses were also a misconception, just like sleeping in a coffin during the day.

“Leavin’ you all alone again with the big bad, eh pet?” He croons, an all too familiar sly smile on his face as I enter the bathroom and pull up a chair a few feet away from him. He jokingly lunges forward and reaches his hands out, trying to scare me. But I barely jump before the chains holding them tight to the clawfoot tub hold him back.

“Funny,” I reply sarcastically, bemused by his behavior. “Are you going to do this all night? Or shall I ask Giles if I can chloroform you for a few hours just so I can get you out of my hair for once?” Crossing my arms as I sit back in the highly uncomfortable chair.

“Well, if you’re looking to shut me up, I have a few ideas on how to…remedy the issue.” Devious as always.

“And that would be?” I question, subtly quirking my brow.

He scoffs and flops back dramatically into the tub, rolling his eyes. “Well, what do you think, love?” He turns his gaze back to me, seemingly a little annoyed I couldn’t pick up on his non-obvious signals.

I continue sitting silently in the chair, my face scrunching into a more scrutinizing look as he stares me down, waiting for me to figure it out and answer. “What?” I ask offendedly as he scrutinizes me with his eyes.

“Blood you nitwit! I’m bloody starvin’ here!” He sighs exasperatedly, a slight growl in the back of his tone. “No pun intended—” His face drops softer as he quickly chimes, adding as he raises one finger in a dramatized gesture.

“You look fine to me.” I mock him, flickering a smile. “I mean, besides looking a little pale, but that’s just your regular Tuesday, now isn’t it?” He grits his teeth and turns his head, acting as if he wanted to strangle me with the way his hands flexed.

“Besides, we ran out. Xander was asked to pick some more up from the butcher’s earlier, and he probably won’t be back until way later like the others.” I added, though not kindly. “Seems you’re always hungry and sucked your own supply dry. You’re lucky any of us even bother to feed you.”

“Well, I am your hostage, love. Not a torture victim.” His annoyance is almost as amusing as his failed attempts to intimidate me now that he can’t actually hurt me.

“I mean, you always could be. That is if you don’t start talking.” I shrugged.

“I told you guys, I’m not talkin’ until I’m ensured that the chip will be removed.” He leans his head back against the edge of the tub defeatedly.

“Well you know that’s not happening any time soon, so you might as speak up now before we change our minds and kill you for it. I’m sure Buffy would love to do the honors.” I smirk at him, and I can see the flash of fear in his eyes as he foolishly tries to hide it behind his indifferent and sarcastic demeanor. “Though, at the end of the day, we might not need you after all. So, might as well make yourself useful.”

He groans with a slight growl in defiance, rolling his head against the edge of the tub before sighing exasperatedly. Finally convinced, he turns his head back to me and nods in my direction.

“Al’right, I’ll talk. But I want somethin’ to eat first.” A hidden grin appears on his face as if he’s caught me in some sort of loophole.

“I just told you we don’t have anything right now. You’ll have to wait until Xander gets back.”

“Well that’s not entirely true, now is it, love?” He says, a strange puppy-dog-eyed gleam in his look.

“What are you even talking about? I just told you we don’t have any blood left. It’s not like you can bite me or anything, you little chip-thing-a-ma-bobery will give you a nuclear headache.”

“That’s not what I meant, love.” He smirks at my innocence.

Oh.

I go still and silent when the realization hits, my confused and slightly offended expression drops and I stare at him blankly. He looks back at me with another sly smile on his face, enjoying my flustered reaction and waiting for me to respond to the inappropriate request.

“I was hoping the whole wolf-smell thing was another written exaggeration.” I finally spoke out, breaking the moment of silence that was a little suffocating to me.

“You hope or you wish?” He asks, raising a curious brow back at me, still beaming with that stupid smirk.

“Does it matter?” I ask rhetorically, aggravated and annoyed with him now.

“Not to me.” He shakes his head and purses his lips. Liar, of course, he said it to piss me off. Trying to convince me that I wanted him to know as if it wasn’t the farthest from the truth. But a part of me was somewhat grossly keen on the idea. But only faintly.

“Well, seems you’re just going to keep starving until Xander gets back. I can wait as long as we need for you to either talk now or be patient. And by that point, Buffy and the gang should be back in time to hear what you have to say too.” I put my foot down, smiling a silent proud grin as he gives me a look that mimics if I had just stuck my shoe in his mouth.

He rolls over in the tub defeatedly again, and I take the time of his moping to grab a magazine and flip through it. Making sure that I turn over each page with an annoying crinkle so that he knows my presence is still there, even as he attempts to nap, which most likely is just his attempt at pretending to sleep so that I’ll consider not breaking the silence with the annoying slice of loud paper wringing through the not-so-cozy acoustic bathroom. Which of course didn’t work on me.

For some reason, it began to feel like the Scoobies had been gone forever, and it was still dark outside. I kept checking the clock every few minutes even though it had felt like an hour each time. Normally when I babysat Spike the time seemed to go by quite quickly. It must be the subtly charged silence as I keep praying the minutes start passing quicker. Not even the books and magazines were helping it drive by. At the same time, I realized that my cramps were starting to worsen and I wanted to cry. Partially from the pain, but mainly because today felt like the worst day. The timing is so perfect it’s painful. Having to watch Spike the neutered dog while everyone is away, getting my period a few hours earlier, the worsening cramps, the hours seemingly taking forever to pass. Maybe it’s another demon who's playing tricks on me to drive me crazy with my worst nightmares. I’m sure something like that exists.

Spike hears the soft hitch of my pained breath as I clutch my abdomen, cupping my angry uterus lashing out at me. I try to keep the book in my hand steady and pretend I’m not in an infuriating amount of pain, focusing my eyes away from Spike as he turns in my direction.

“You alright there, pet?” He asks in a tender, concerned tone. But as I raise my eyes to him, I catch the shit-eating grin on his face that’s just dying to tell me ‘I told you so’.

“Yes, I’m fine actually. No thanks to you. I don’t need any of your help.” I grit my teeth to keep my voice from wobbling and revealing the absolute pain clawing at my insides.

“You sure? You seem to be strugglin’ a bit. You know, I heard that—”

“Just shut up, Spike! I know what you’re trying to do.” I hiss at him, stopping him before he could finish the sentence. I could feel the burn of my cheeks a little as they flushed.

“And what is it exactly that I’m tryin’ to do, love?” He asks, a faux offensive tone as he sits up a little higher and leans against the tub.

“Don’t play coy with me, Spike.”

“Your pouty face is so cute, Y/N. Do you know that?”

“Stop trying to be charming. It’s not working.” I slide away the magazine and cross my arms over my chest, trying to ignore the burning pain still coursing through my lower body.

“Oh, it isn’t? Well, my bad then. Excuse me for sayin’ anything.” He says sarcastically and annoyed, defeated again, giving up as he turns over once more and sinks deeper into the tub.

“Good.”

“Fine, then.” He pouts.

“Fine.”

I nod, pepping myself to refrain from talking with him anymore about this. Moving my focus to the boiling pain that is becoming harder to ignore. I think of every remedy I can to relieve the pain without having to get up because I have a feeling if I tried, I would keel right over. And then Spike would take his most glorious opportunity to run away, and I couldn’t risk that. So I sat in a longer and drawn-out silence than before trying to persevere through the pain.

My gaze flickers to Spike occasionally without thought, catching glimpses from the back of his radioactive blonde hair before dropping once more to the book in front of me. As waves of pain crashed through me I start to wonder if it would truly be that bad to take up on his offer. I mean, he says he will talk if he has some food, and Xander obviously won’t be here for a while. Alongside the rest of everyone else, so if I indulged him, it’s not like anyone would catch us. And say he didn’t give the information up, well I’d still benefit, and we’d probably kill him anyway. It’s a fully ensured mutually beneficial deal, well, swinging towards one way more than the other—but the schematics of it all doesn’t really matter. Not will the sharp throb of abdominal pain making my thoughts stutter and my brain swirl.

Frustrated, I throw the book to the floor and stand up, raising myself above Spike.

“Alright,” I state sternly. “You say you’ll talk if you have something to eat?” I question him–more like interrogate.

He turns his head to me, slightly startled by my jumping up, and possibly the fact that I seem to be agreeing to his terms. He doesn’t have that shit-eating-want-to-punch-him-in-the-face-bastard-smirk on his face, and that makes for something.

“Just a snack is al’right.” He says eloquently, shrugging. “Then I’ll tell you all you want to know. ‘Swear on my grave, love.” He peers up at me through his brow bone, his eyes latching onto mine with their dark depths. Something in that look makes me fold, it seems so genuine and raw.

“Oh well that’s promising,” I scoff sarcastically.

Nerves swim in my stomach as I become flustered with the realization of what I’ve just agreed to. I stand there for a moment before him, nearing close to the edge of the tub.

“You just going to stand there, pet? Y’know, if you unchained me I could help you a little—” He offers, a small grin hidden on his face as he snaps me out of my trance.

“Yeah, that’s not happening. We’re doing this my way.” I scold him as I start to unbutton my jeans. Spike catches my hands with his gaze as soon as they pop open the metal button and his eyes flash. I try to pretend that his gaze isn’t burning through me as I begin to shimmy them down to my ankles, but it’s no use.

“Are you just going to keep staring?” I ask, gritting my teeth a bit to hide the shyness, despite my obvious flushed cheeks.

“Well, what else am I suppose’ to do, love? Not watch the show? Besides, there are more embarrassing things that—”

“That’s enough from you.” I stop him mid-sentence, pressing my index finger to his lips and he smiles quietly against it. God, he’s just thoroughly enjoying this isn’t he? I’d regret to admit it’s turning me on. Especially with that look in his eyes, watching me like I’m the best thing he’s seen in weeks. Which technically speaking, could be true.

It was difficult to find positioning given the small space of the tub that he was totally overtaking.I was starting to regret not taking off the cuffs for him, but I knew (hoped) it would be better in the long wrong. Who knows, maybe that’s what he wanted me to do all along. Though, would it have mattered at this point? My mind was too far stretched to care even if he did, but I was too preoccupied with the look on his pale face to bother removing them anyway.

Positioning my bare, bleeding core over his mouth, his eyes are locked onto it hungrily. Something in his gaze made it unclear if he was entranced by the blood or my body, and regardless it was making my skin feel slightly hot. His lips drained of color from his forced diet, parted readily as I hovered, his tongue practically lolling as he begged silently for me to lean closer. Cautiously, I tempted him. Lowering myself closer towards his lips, it was a warm and inviting feeling, surprisingly gentler than I expected from him. Soft, experimental kitten licks as he explores the fleshy fat of my labia majora, wiping away any mess as he circled closer to my engorged clit. My whole body felt like it was pulsing, I could only watch him from below me with blown, wide eyes. Skin flushed and rosy from the sensation of his tongue darting out and licking stripes, as if savoring the taste. Seems he likes playing with his food after all. I found myself subconsciously pressing closer into his mouth and I only notice when he lets out a low moan in response, his lips pursing to press a kiss to my clit, making sure to catch my eyes as he sucks on it gently. A gentle popping sound rings as he removes his lips and licks a fat stripe with his tongue across my entrance, blood lingering across it. His lips were already stained from drool and arousal, mixed with the faint hue of blood.

I always thought vampires were disgusting, evil creatures, I couldn’t imagine how blood could be enjoyable. Even for a vampire. Especially when it came to Spike and Angel. I couldn’t wrap my head around it, which is why it’s already so confusing for me as to why I’d agree to him like this. But seeing the look of my blood covering his mouth, and the expression painted on his face of pure bliss. I understand a little more now.

Spike grins against me for a moment when I shudder after he flicks his tongue on my clit aggressively, becoming a little more bold.

“I thought you were going to eat my blood, not mess around.” I accuse him, trying to keep my voice steady and stern as before, but it still cracked anyway.

“I’m just enjoying the moment, love. You agreed because you want to feel good too, isn’t that right, pet?” He asks cheekily, his voice vibrating against me and I almost fall over from the trembling that shocks my knees, finding balance in gripping my hands in his gelled hair. Wait, did he say ‘too’?

“N-No more talking,” I say breathily and Spike beams once more, even more amused than before as he goes back to his ministrations.

He doesn’t seem to mind as I claw into his scalp, messing up his meticulously done hair. If anything he seems to enjoy it as he laps faster into my cunt, sucking out any of the blood that leaks forth, dribbling down his chin. My legs start to feel sticky as the blood starts to dry down them, which prompts Spike to lick stripes up my thighs to wipe it away, savoring every single drop as if he couldn’t possibly waste it.

I can feel the waves of pleasure reach higher inside of me as he focuses on my clit every few moments before plunging his tongue into me, twisting it and moving it in ways I didn’t know were even possible, and making me feel in ways I hadn’t even imagined. I couldn’t help the progressive yelp of moans that slipped past my lips, melting into the pleasure. I hadn’t even noticed that the cramps had almost completely subsided from how quickly I had gotten caught up. My hands went from gripping his hair painfully tight to massaging his scalp, and he purred just like a cat about it. The vibrations of his voice and breath against me brushed just right, pushing me closer to the edge. He looked even more like a puppy, being helpless bound, chained, and all, trying so hard to please me and get his fill.

“S-Shit…” I gasped quietly, my eyes squeezing shut. I could just feel the cocky grin on his face. But when I open my eyes to look, his expression is anything but. He looks almost dazed, mindlessly focused on lapping and kissing me clean of blood, utterly lost in the taste of me. His eyes were practically glittering as he stared up at me, his gaze unbreaking. Sweet blood mixed with arousal that made his skin tingle warmly. It was driving him mad, he looked more starved than he had before. As if he had been holding back how badly he wanted it, or maybe as soon as he had a taste he was overcome with the full extent of his hunger.

The look alone was getting me closer but mixed with the quick flicks and broad stripes of his tongue working closer, harder, faster against me. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I clasped a hand over my mouth as I cried out a little louder, my hips stuttering as they shook against his face, a gush of arousal I hadn’t known I had in me came out and he relished it.

He didn’t stop, continuing to slurp away, a little more intensely now. Overstimulating me with a purpose. I squealed, gripping tighter onto his blonde hair, now a mess. I don’t know how I kept my balance with the way my legs shook as wave of orgasm after orgasm crashed into me before he finally gave up, slowing down with gentle licks and kisses around my clit and upper thighs. I was heaving and on the brink of breathlessness, my throat becoming sore from the cries I rang out.

He leans his head back farther to gauge my expression better, darting his tongue to the corners of his bloodied lips that he licks away. “That better?” He asks, still being cheeky. I just nod silently, basically speechless.

“Good.” He tilts his head. “You should have told me sooner how delicious your blood is,”

“I hadn’t realized ‘til now,” I respond in a breathless tone.

“Still catty after all that, eh love?” The idiot smirks. Though, I couldn’t hate him for it. He was looking exceptionally prettier than usual. I chalked it up to the hormones coursing through me, still blissed from the consecutive orgasms.

“So…did the pain stop…love?” He asks, slightly shy. Which was a little surprising. Spike, a vampire who attempted to suck me dry of period blood, getting nervous over asking me about my cramps? Or maybe he wasn’t shy. There was something tender about his expression.

I shake my head. A lie. But one couldn’t hurt. Technically speaking, the pain had stopped, or at least numbed to a dull ache, but I still ached over something else.

“I see…” He responds his voice a low drawl that sent a shiver down my spine. “What shall we do about that?” He asks rhetorically, thinking. Something about the way he says it makes me think he’s already caught onto my lie but doesn’t want to call me out. However, it could just be my guilty conscious making things up.

“Aren’t you full though?” I ask, my lame attempt at segueing smoothly.

“Could it be you’re needin’ something else, love?” He asks, cracking that same grin again I had been waiting for, dragging his lips over my thighs as he places a tender kiss. His stark gaze continued to stare deeper into mine, not allowing me to break away from it. His tone is clear with innuendo.

I finally break free of his eyes, glancing away nervously, not knowing how to respond to him without sending pathetic.

“Well, if we’re going to do that, you’re unfortunately going to have to unchain me, love.” My eyes quickly snap to him.

“Absolutely not. You know I’m not doing that.” I say sternly.

“You might not have a choice.” He says, pulling at the chains that bound his hands close together and prevented me from getting anywhere close to him comfortably and I sighed to myself. Having to decide between giving up or risking unchaining him for a while. Weighing the pros and cons for a moment, I conclude that if he tried to escape it wouldn’t matter, but from the visible strain in his pants that I noticed, I recognized that he likely wouldn’t try. Regardless, I still didn’t trust him when I began to unshackle him.

He flexes his wrists for a moment, rubbing at the chaff marks. Before I can say anything he pulls at my waist and drags me into the tub, keeping me from hurting during the fall. I gasped before I landed and when I turn my head I catch a new stupid, cheesy smile on his face. He doesn’t speak or make any taunting remark, instead, he presses a tender kiss to my lips and I meet the mingling taste of cigarettes mixed with what I assumed was my own blood and arousal in his mouth. The soft, playful kisses turned into something more hungry and we were quickly meeting each other at a desperate pace. He was practically eating my face as I kissed him, and I returned the same energy. Allowing myself to let go and lean into his touch, turning myself and splaying my hands over his chest, my hips hovering over his as his hands explore up from my waist to my back. The hands running up and down the hot flesh trail their way into the base of my hair, cradling my head closer. I had underestimated the lack of breath vampires had when I had to fight to pull back to gasp for air between kisses.

We mutually grind ourselves together as the kisses become passionate, my hips roll against the thankfully black fabric of his pants (though I’m sure he wouldn’t care to begin with), and his buck up and grind against me in return. The bare friction of my core against the coarse fabric of his pants became a mix of pain and pleasure that left me searching for more. Impatience took over me, and Spike latched his kisses onto my neck and jaw as I reached back and freed him from his briefs. His hands were too busy squeezing my breasts and flesh to help me, holding me close.

Wasting no time, I sink onto him, my cunt swallowing him whole with a mutual sigh between us. My breath hitches in my throat again as I feel the full stretch, reaching to my cervix with a gentle kiss of his tip. Our chests heave against each other rapidly, my breasts pressing against his chest and rubbing against my shirt with their hardened peaks, sensitive to the softest graze. I lift my head from his shoulder to kiss him again, catching a glimpse of his dazed expression. He looked even more drunk on arousal than he had earlier and I questioned if that was even possible. I didn’t spend time staring, holding a hand to his cheek to pull him into another fiery kiss as I began to grind my hips. He groans into my mouth, choked moans leaving his mouth gaping for me to slip my tongue in. He responds and our tongues battle as he wraps his arms around my waist, his hips gradually bucking up into me without abandon.

It only takes a few minutes before we’re both completely worked up and he bullies my cervix, his tip aggressively hitting all the way back with each thrust. His arms held me in place to keep me from running as if I would even want to or could with the way that my head was completely numb. Zero thoughts running through my brain other than the intense pleasure coursing through every nerve in my body that was painfully active. He lets out multiple erotic sounds from deep in his chest, especially so when we break from kissing occasionally so we can nibble on each other. I pull at his earlobe while his tongue slides over my neck, desperately wanting to bite me for sure. Despite the clear loss of his inhibitions, he doesn’t attempt it.

The blood that continues to leak from my cervix only acts as extra lube, and causes a mess on both of our thighs, leaking down from his cock and splattering with each slap of our skin. The smell of blood and sex begins to linger in the air, even more so with the bathroom door closed. The sounds coming from us were filthy and if I weren’t lost in lust, it’d be embarrassing. But for the moment, it was the hottest thing I’ve ever heard, music to my ears. I was feral, and it seems that so was he.

I wasn’t even fully aware of what was happening until I clawed into his shoulders, my hands slipping from the back of his hair as a new orgasm crashed over me. I don’t even remember when our shirts fell to the floor, but I had wasted no time clawing up his back apparently as the skin was almost scratched raw. Sweat glittered on our skin, shining from the bright white light in the bathroom. He hadn’t stopped at the clear cry of my orgasm, continuing to buck up into me madly, reaching his own high. I finished once more, this time he followed pursuit, feeling the warmth of seed flowing into me. His thrusts pausing in a staccato pattern. Post-bliss buzzes through us and I lean my head into his shoulder as I find my breath once more. I don’t want to move, feeling too limp to attempt to get off him.

Though, I quickly change my mind when I hear the familiar sound of the front door opening. My body jolts out of its daze and I quickly fling myself off of Spike, throwing him back his clothes.

“Shit!” I hiss, half-hazardly pulling my clothes back on, my pad still attached to my underwear as I slide them up. During the quick minute, we were lucky no one came in, and I take the extra 30 seconds to make sure I don’t look too disheveled before I step out of the bathroom. Hoping that I can distract everyone from checking on Spike before he can put his clothes back on the way they were. As well as fix the mess of his hair I had made.

Everyone seems to be distracted and discussing something when I step out of the bathroom and gently close the door behind me, guarding it a moment before stepping forward when everyone turns their head to my presence.

“Y/N!” Xander chimes with a stupid friendly smile. “How’d it go with fangless? He bore the shit out of you again?” He asks, taunting me a little.

I nod, smiling and trying to act normal. But it feels as if they can already tell something is off. “Yeah, definitely! Man, how I hate that guy!”

There’s a moment of awkward silence between everyone as we pause, unsure of how to deal with the clear tension in the room.

“So, I’m guessing you guys were fighting and that’s why you look like that.” Anya points out bluntly.

I can feel my cheeks burn a little as I realize why everyone is looking at me so confused, trying to keep my face from turning too red.

“Yeah. That’s what happened. Don’t worry, I took care of him. I think he might actually be willing to talk now.”

“I’m sure you did,” Buffy added with slight suspicion in her tone. “Make sure to talk to him then if he’s ready.” She nods, changing the topic as she goes back to talking about whatever it was they were discussing before that I had no interest in at the moment.

As soon as Buffy says something I notice a flash of held laughter on everyone’s faces, even if they do know, nobody seems to care too much. Though, I can feel the judgment, only a little. But at this point, I don’t have the energy to care.

Taglsit (you can be added or removed at any point. If you used to be on my taglist and don’t see your username, let me know so I can update it. Same goes for if you want to be removed):

@fear-is-truth @xkaisxjazzxsingerx @marchsfreakshow @colinzabelswife @dearlizzies @americanwh0rerstory @xrag-dollx @lacucarachapisser @alittleobsessedbitch @n0tonlin3

[fandomtherapy44]

Stolen Moments Spike x reader Oneshot!

Paring: Spike x reader

Warnings: SMUT, language, small spoilers for season 5

Summary: Y/n and Spike have some stolen moments on the couch.

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WC: 2,646

Hey, y'all, I wanted to try something a little different. Plus, I have been obsessed with BTVS and especially Spike, so I created a fic for him. I got the inspo for this from this fic, Movie Night at the Summers Residence, so you should go check it out!

My life has never been… easy to say but it’s not like I didn’t have a support system I had my mother and my two sisters. I remember the day coming home from the orphanage and the feeling of comfort and love came over my body for the first time in my life. From that day I was Y/n Summers. I didn’t know life could be more fulfilling till I got my baby sister Buffy then my mom had Dawn a couple of years later. Even as a four-year-old, I knew I loved being an older sister.

So the day Buffy sacrificed herself to save the world again I had felt like I had failed not just Buffy but also my mom and Dawn. So I threw myself fully into being Dawn’s guardian the one she deserved, because like Dad would lift a finger. Motherfucker didn’t even call to talk to us about Mom’s passing it’s like as soon as the divorce was finalized he forgot he was still a father. Our friends did everything to help Dawn, Giles helped her get on track with her schoolwork, Willow and Tara would teach her a few simple spells, Anya and Xander would take her to do fun things to distract her from the heavy grief that both of us were going through.

But Spike crazily enough has been the hugest supporter of Dawn and me. It’s crazy because if you told me four years ago that Spike is reformed and that you trust him to watch your little sister I would laugh at your funny joke. He stays with her all night when I have to work the night shifts unfortunately I get more money from those. And somehow he and I built a friendship through our grief and just wanting someone to be there.

“Hey, how was it?” I asked quietly seeing Dawn asleep on the floor clearly falling asleep during the movie they were watching.

“Uhh, just a little scared,” Spike responded looking at Dawn. A mini heart attack goes through me and he sees my face.

“Sorry, I mean from the horror movie.”

I drop my bag and sit next to him on the couch. “Lead with that next time would you.” I joked and taped his arm. “And I thought we said no scary movies.” I gave him a knowing annoyed look. I can see him and how he's trying to come up with a good reason.

“Ah you know the little bit she is very convening with those damn puppy dog eyes.” He replied turning his body to me and trying that half-assed excuse on me and I had to admit it was pretty cute. 

“Ok fine you're off the hook but no more Micahel Myers at least till she’s sixteen… in half.”

“Isn’t that a little excessive luv?” He called me out while leaning back on the couch arm.

“I know I know I just want to protect her as much as possible as long as possible with how much she has lost in just the last three months I want to protect her while I still can.” I walked over and stroked her hair. I glanced up at him and in his eyes saw my earnestness and truth. 

“Can you carry her to bed I’ll pop open some beers I think we both could use one.” I ended with a smirk.

“Of course and for me-”

“In a bottle, I know spike.” I giggled and walked to the kitchen while he carried her to bed.

In an hour we were both delightfully buzzed our bodies across from each other on the couch and I got to rant to him.

“So get this I walked over to get this guy his coffee and not even a minute later he demanded it again calling me lazy, like I'm sorry sir if I’m not the flash.” We both laughed at that and almost spilled our beers.

“Bloody Hell Luv I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” He sips his beer looking in it.

And I looked in mine like it was a pond a movie character thinking about a decision but really it was still just beer. “Yeah well it pays the bills so in my book it’s the best job in the world.”

“You know I could still help.” He lifts his head to meet mine and his eyes bored into mine.

“Spike I really appreciate the offer but I just can’t take money from you, you already do so much for Dawn and me if I took the money I would feel like I was taking advantage and I couldn't do that, not to you.” I fiddled with the bottle thinking about it and before I knew he had moved right in front of me.

“Luv listen to me, if I can help you not feel like doom is around the corner then that way I can feel that I’m more than what my title is you make me feel like I’m more than a vampire, a monster you make me feel like a man.” He lifted my chin with his hand and I know he’s telling the truth.

“Plus I wouldn’t mind being taken “advantage” of.” He smirked. Leave it to Spike to flirt when things get a little too real.

“Oh really.” I played-shoved him and he caught my hand. And we were left with a sizzling tension between us that had also been building with the friendship. He slowly leaned in looking to me if it was okay. And I nodded yes.

Our lips met in the middle and it was everything I had been dreaming about. It started out slowly but there was a certain desperation behind it. He gently grabbed the back of my head to cradle it. 

SMUT 18+ ...... Below cut

“So should I go or…” He questioned and I grabbed him back into me.

“Spike I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time I don’t about you.” I breathed heavily.

He flipped us over to where he was on top of me and I was below. “Been dreaming of it, sweetheart.” He then pressed his lips again but this time more intense. Before I know it his tongue met mine.

“Mhhh spike.” I moaned between the tongues.

“Not so loud pet Dawn is right upstairs.” His mouth traveled down my neck slowly too slowly for my liking. I grab his shirt.

“Spike…” He chuckles at that.

“I didn’t know you were this desperate pet but have patience, I want to savor this moment.” He goes to remove my shirt. “This okay?” I just nod. He unbuttons it and just looks down at me.

I get self-conscious and hold my arms over my chest. He gently pulls them away. “Y/n you are beautiful no need to be shy but if you do want to cover up I'm fine with that too.” He whispered.

“It’s okay, it’s just I haven't done this for a… while.” I was a little embarrassed to say.

“Me too Luv, so we’ll go at this at our pace okay? I nod and take off my bra.

“Oh, the wait was definitely worth it.” He scanned down and made me feel… sexy which I haven't felt in a while between the sweat build-up and stress.

“Oh spike-” I get stopped by him sucking on my sweet spot. He goes harder and it starts to pulse with a little pain but soothed by him licking it. His hands go to my strap pulling it down I’m so distracted by the bite that I didn’t even feel him fondling my nipple. And it feels… electrifying. I sit up and fully remove my bra. I then glanced at him and annoyingly he still had his shirt on. 

“I think this is a little unfair don’t you think?” I crossed my arms.

“You're right Pet.” He pulled it off like it was a million degrees and was just waiting to shed his clothes. His chest was pale with a slight pink to it from us being like this his abs were well-defined and went into a sharp v-line. I don’t notice I'm staring.

“See something you like?” He smirked knowing the effect he was having.

“Oh just kiss me, dummy.” I pull him back down and we start to get into a rhythm fast-paced and arousing. Our chests blending turning us both on. His hands then drift down to my pants.

“How about we get these annoying things out of the way huh?” He asks and I just nod. His hands go to my waist and I help him shimmy out of my pants. He continues kissing me and his fingers go to my panties. I gasp into his mouth at the sudden contact. Feeling my wetness seeping through the fabric.

“All this for me huh baby?” He grunted like to me. Then his fingers go up and down my slit.

“Uh-huh.” I tried to get out. Then, his finger slowly goes in. “Spike…” The finger makes circles in my pussy. I am trying not to release just at that, and then suddenly, he adds in another. He starts to pump in and out. His thick fingers were rubbing against my soft walls, looking to my face, seeing my reaction and liking it.

“You like that?” He speeds up.

“Yes, Spike yes.” I moaned out he was going in between slow and fast seeing how I reacted to what he was doing well, studying me. It was heaven, in the past guys would barely warm me up and then pull down their pants thinking that would be enough. Spike was like a fresh breath of air.

He started to go more slow noticing I was getting closer not wanting to overwhelm my nerves. And my body was moving with him becoming one. 

“Spike I’m getting close.” His hand ramps up now pounding my pussy. “Ahh Spike!” 

“Let go just let go.” And I did I came all over his hand.

I breathed in deeply trying to recover from the best finger bang I've ever gotten. “Fuck spike you're… good at that.” I climb on top of him going back to making out.

“Yeah?” I start to grind down on him as an answer.

I gently grabbed his face. “Yes, you are.” I stand up and take down my panties.

“Holy… I think I believe there is a God.” He stood up quickly and pulled down his pants and underwear. His shaft springs forward and it is big and bulging the same color as the rest of him just a little redder. I step up and handled it and start to pump it.

“Would you like me to return the favor?” I whisper in his ear and nip his earlobe.

“Ahh Luv… I would but I don’t think I would last and I’m just dying to get inside of you.” he could barely get out finding it hard to focus with my hand pumping him.

“Okay then sit down.” he backs down on the couch. Watching my body strut over to him I straddle him and our bodies meet fully nude. We start to kiss again and get the familiar rhythm like we were meant to be here tonight. His teeth nip down on my lip and the tongue licks it. The air is thick with lust and emotions like I've never felt before. I hover over his shaft and start to grind on it. Getting us both ready with the slick. I lift up and get his shaft and slowly sink in. 

“Spike”

“Y/n” 

Both of us feel euphoric, I have to stay in this spot because he is so big that my walls have to get used to it the cum from before helping it be more comfortable for me. 

“Let me know when I can start moving kay?” He said trying to hold back, making sure this would be amazing for me too.

“Kay.” I breathed out. I rolled my hips to test the waters and both of us liked it. I lift up and slide down gently. He meets my hips and we go together. Breathing up and down together. He juts up into me and makes me lose my balance for a second but he catches me. His shaft goes faster into me.

He flipped us over again so he had more control and I didn’t mind it. My legs wrap his back and my hands scratch into his back. He starts to pound in faster and faster having the stamina of a fucking stallion. He then hits my G spot and stars. He knew how to use what God had given him. I pull him closer and he licks my bite again.

“So bloody pretty.” He heard my moans. 

“Spike… need… more!” He gets my hint and his fingers go to stroke my clit to really get me there. 

“Getting close Luv?” I nod.

He pulls my head to meet his and our eyes meet. “Ready?” He rubs quicker and quicker.

“Ahh! Ahh!” And obsolete explosion both of us came together. We breathe in together not believing what just transpired. He slips out and pushes himself next to me on the small couch barely keeping both of us on. 

“That was-”

“Amazing.” I finished.

“Yeah bloody amazing.” 

I then slipped off into sleep being the most at peace I have felt in a while.

My eyes blink open it being early morning. I then remembered what happened last night and looked to my side and Spike was sleeping there soundly. It felt almost… surreal like this could be regular. I then hear the shower going on upstairs which is weird because Dawn should be sleeping-. SHIT ITS A SCHOOL DAY! She will be downstairs in five minutes. I then notice the state of the two of us.

“Spike Spike! Wake up!” He woke with alertness and fell off the couch.

“What what is attacking us!?” 

“Nothing, Dawn is going to be downstairs now in three minutes!” He then comes to the same realization. 

“Oh SHIT!” 

“Yeah! So come on get your clothes on I have to make a quick breakfast for her.” I throw my clothes on and run to the kitchen. Spike goes to the backdoor but before he leaves he turns to me.

“I don’t regret what happened last night, do you?” Those damn blue eyes begged for an answer. I didn't but I couldn't get into this right now.

“Uhh We’ll talk later okay.” I responded while flipping the eggs not being able to tell to his face. I can tell he wants to keep going but knows he can’t so he throws on a blanket over his head and run out the backdoor. And not a minute later Dawn is in front of me.

“Hey did Spike sleep here last night?” She questioned innocently. I was pouring orange juice and dropped the glass.

“What what no no why ask?” I quickly picked up the glass and avoided her eyes.

“Just he left his lighter on the couch, you okay?” She saw my behavior.

“Yup just tired you know, well would you look at the time you should be off to school!” I pick her up backpack and lunchpail and practically push her out the door.

“Are you sure you okay Y/n because I can-”

“No! I mean I'm okay now go that brain needs knowledge.” I smiled and waved to her as she walked off super confused about her sister’s erratic behavior. I closed the door finally being able to breathe. I walk to the couch looking at the tangled blankets and remembering what only really happened a couple of hours ago and spot the silver lighter and pick it up.

“What did I do?” Did we ruin a friendship or start something more?

Now has a Pt 2!

[kolsmikaelson]

currently watching buffy the vampire slayer for the first time (im on s2 ep 11) and i need buffy moots immediately

[reginaphalangelobster]

You're My Perfect

Buffy Summers x Plus Size GN!Reader

Summary: You overhear something you wish you hadn't.

Warnings: self conscious reader, asshole Xander, sweet Buffy

Word Count: 700+

Request: Yes

Notes: This is my first time writing a plus sized reader so I hope it's okay!

“Run!” Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs.

You turned around to see a gang of vampires chasing you. There must have been five at least. Xander, Willow and Buffy were way ahead of you, almost free but you couldn’t keep up. One of the vampires grabbed your wrist and yanked you back, you were barely able to call out Buffy’s name through your ragged breaths. Her head whipped around when she heard you. She bolted back and leapt on the vamp that had you, just as his fangs were beginning to break the surface of your skin. She ripped him off you and drove a stake through his heart. You saw him turn to dust in front of your eyes.

“T-thanks, Buff”

“Are you okay? Did he bite you?”

“Nah, ju-just a scratch”

‘Let’s get you back to Giles’”

“You know, I’ll never get u-used to that”

“What?”

“The dust thing”

“Oh, right. I guess it doesn’t really bother me anymore”

You stand up, still breathing heavily and head back with Buffy. 

When you get back to Giles’ he patches you up while the others talk. You don’t mean to eavesdrop but they were in the living room and you were in the kitchen, not much distance between you.

“They were pretty tough, Buffy. Do you think something’s going on?” Willow asked.

“Maybe, vamps don’t usually work together unless there’s a new big bad in town”

“I think we’re glossing over something here girls” Xander moaned.

“What Xander?” Buffy responded with a signature eye roll.

“Hello? Y/n”

“What about Y/n?” Buffy straightened her back and tensed at his tone.

“Totally chubster? Always slowing us down? Almost got both of you killed tonight, am I making sense to anyone?”

You felt his words deep inside you, confirming all of your worst fears and insecurities. You couldn’t listen any longer, you grabbed your coat and ducked out before they could see you.

“I think that’s a little harsh Xander” Willow responded.

“A little?” Buffy turned to Willow.

“Well, you’ve gotta admit Buffy, they do slow us down a bit” “And what do you suppose we do, kick them out?”

“No! I just think maybe it’s better if they don’t come on patrol”

“I can’t believe you, Will! Xander, I expect, but you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Xander barked.

“I means that you’ve never been supportive of our relationship”

“Of course not! They can’t walk to the mailbox without breaking a sweat!”

It took everything in Buffy not to deck him right there. She walked out and looked for you, just to be met with an empty room.

“Giles? Where Y/n?”

Giles popped his head from around the corner.

“They left, seemed to be in quite a hurry”

“God, they must have heard Xander”

“Heard Xander say what?” By the time he got the words out Buffy was already out the door.

You rushed down the street, trying to get home as fast as possible and leave this terrible night behind you. Tears ran down your cheeks and began to soak your shirt. Through blurred vision you saw a figure in front of you, it was Buffy. Even blurry she looked beautiful.

“I-I don’t wanna talk”

“Okay”

She took your hand and led you to a nearby bench. You sat down and she just held your hand in yours.

“Why are you with me?” You muttered, your breath so shaky it broke her heart.

“Because I love you”

“But why? You’re beautiful and smart and amazing, you could be with anyone you wanted”

“I am”

You scoffed before you looked up to see the sincerity in her eyes.

“You heard Xander, didn’t you?”

“He’s right you know, I do just slow you down”

“No you don’t. You help me keep going when I feel like I can’t. You do everything but slow me down”

“You don’t have to lie to me, I can take it”

“I’m not lying”

“But you’re perfect! I’m nothing”

“You’re my perfect” You didn’t believe her but you saw her eyes, properly this time. You saw the love she carried for you in them, you saw the love you held for her. You saw your home. Buffy leaned in, her lips grazed against yours as though they were asking for permission, which you gladly granted.

“I love you too”

Tags:

@pinkthick @craftytacopiecash @meryuniverse @aliljaybird @thesimppotato11 @vixyl7 @macbaetwo @castielshunterwife @scarletluvsdanno @twentyonetornmyheart

[authorscurse]

The Masterlist—

Note: Everything I write is strictly fictional and for entertainment. Any names mentioned that pertain to any person in real life is only coincidental. Read at your own risk! Requests are open!

The Inheritance Games

Grayson. H | Jameson. H | Nash. H | Xander. H | Libby. G | Avery. G

The Maze Runner

Minho | Newt | Thomas

Percy Jackson and The Olympians

Percy. J | Annabeth. C | Grover. U | Luke. C |Clarisse. LR

Harry Potter

Harry. P | George. W | Fred. W | Theodore. N |Mattheo. R | Tom. R | Lorenzo. B | Hermione. G | Ron. W

Shatter M

Aaron. W | Kenji. K | Juliette. F | Nazeera. I

Jujutsu Kaisen

Gojo. S | Geto. S | Nanami. K | S. Ryomen | Fushiguro. M | Itadori. Yuji | Inumaki. T

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

AN: This fic is a continuation of this one. I just want to say a big thank you to @rmoonstoner and @queenofthehobos for your interest in the previous part and I hope you enjoy this one just as much.

Warnings: canon typical violence, mentions of violence, and jealous Ares.

You rested your forehead against Rupert's as you struggled to catch your breath in the stacks of the library at Sunnydale High.

"Did my kiss leave you breathless?" Rupert teased.

"Hush," you ordered before dragging his lips back to yours.

"GILES!"

Rupert regretfully broke the kiss, "What could they possibly want now?"

"They're kids in a library on a hellmouth. My guess? Academic support."

Rupert frowned at you, clearly not amused by your joke, before straightening his clothing and walking out to greet the teens. You walked out a few minutes later.

"Hey (Name)," Xander said as he sat at the table. "Any luck with breaking the bond that connects you and Ares?"

You shook your head, "Everything we've read so far states that since Ares created it, he's the only one who can destroy it and it doesn't exactly end well for the person on the other end."

"Why can't these gods keep to themselves?" He groaned.

"Well, I've been doing some research on the situation on my own," Wesley announced. "With the resources that the Council has graciously permitted me to use."

"Does he ever shut up?" Buffy groused.

You however had a completely different reaction, "You told the Council?"

"Well, yes. I am obliged to keep them updated with all the goings-on in Sunnydale." Wesley adjusted his glasses.

"If you were on a battlefield and you had been impaled in the shoulder, would you contact the Council and update them in the middle of the battle?"

"Don't be absurd," Wesley scoffed. "I would be placing the people that I'm fight...oh." He trailed off sheepishly.

"Glad we understand each other," you snapped. "Call me if you need me to patrol tonight Buffy."

You met Rupert's eyes before you walked out of the library. They were soft and apologetic but did little to cool your anger.

That night, your dreams were anything but restful. You dreamt of wars fuelled by passion and in each of your dreams, you could feel Ares' growing presence. In your last dream for the night, the god appeared in front of you and captured your mouth in a dominating kiss that left you woozy. It took far too long for you to realise that Ares had pressed his hand to the small of your back to keep you in place as he kissed you.

"The mortal's kiss might have taken your breath away once but my kisses are the ones that you'll be craving until the end of time."

[prettypinkporkchop]

Willow Rosenberg x fem reader

I Answered That Already

It's a regular night for you at the Bronze. You're sitting down at a table with your friends that you've had since high school. Buffy, Xander, and Willow.

You've had a crush on Willow since you can remember. But she's had a thing for Xander and then got with Wolfie Oz. You can't tell if she's into you or not, but you sure do make her flustered a lot.

The music plays and you watch people dancing. Buffy elbows you softly to catch your attention. You turn to her, confused.

"Day dreaming again?" She smiles.

"Yeah. I seem to do that often." You smile back. You turn your head to see Willow and Xander are gone.

"They went to grab drinks." She smirks. "Still got the hots for Willow?"

"Shut up." You roll your eyes.

"Come on. You're hot! Just hit on her. Well, she hasn't caught on. Just tell her!" Buffy takes a sip from her straw.

"Mehhhh. I'm not drunk enough for that." You never really get drunk enough to spill the beans. You've kept it that way on purpose. You don't shut up when you're drunk.

"Willow is a witch. If she wanted to find out, she would." Buffy says. "You haven't made it clear enough." She winks.

Before you can reply, Willow and Xander sit back down.

"Alright." Xander sighs and places a drink in front of you. "Your second one." He laughs.

"Woooww, slow down!" Willow jokes at the fact that they're ahead of you.

But that's how it always goes. "Ha ha. Very funny." You smile.

A slow song starts to play. Buffy looks at you with a serious face and then tilts toward Willow.

"Willow, wanna dance with y/n?" Xander smiles at you innocently.

"Uh.. I uh.. y-yes. Sure. Y-yes." Willow turns a deep red.

You gulp and stand up, holding your hand out for her. "Want to dance with me?" You ask.

"I answered that already." She furrows her eyebrows and then smiles, taking your hand.

---

"Light as a feather, stiff as a board isn't even real." She laughs, staring at the witch book in front of her.

You cross your legs on her bed, sitting across from her. "Well, you make me stiff as a board." You joke about a penis that you don't have.

She looks up at you from the book and raises an eyebrow. "If that's what you have, then I change my mind.'' She starts to laugh.

"You haven't even kissed me yet. How could you change your mind about nothing?" You cross your arms.

She freezes up and blushes.

"Awe.. is someone shy?" You pull the book from her.

She nods her head with her doe eyes.

You grab her chin and press your lips on hers. An instant spark that has been inside of you since school ignited in you. Her lips are so soft. The kiss feels so natural. You pull away from her and her face is just in shock.

"I think I'm lesbian." She whispers.

[queenpiranhadon]

Woohoo more x reader because I need more romance in my purposely single life

[thesparkling-diamond27]

When Love Remains: Kiss

Nick Nelson x Reader Nick Nelson x Charlie Spring

Nick feels guilty. You sense something is up with Nick. You don’t feel really great about yourself. Charlie is excited to go to a party. You finally meet Charlie and find him adorable. You get the chance to spend more time with Noah and Xander. Nick and Charlie kiss. Nick feels more guilt.

A/n: I’m sorry for being M.I.A. again. There has just been a lot going on with school. Here is next chapter and I will post the next three chapters for the next three days.

Warning: hints of body dysmorphia, and an eating disorder

Nick

I searched up “am I gay?” and came across a lot of results. I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions. What did all of this mean? Was I gay? If I am gay was I gay this whole time? Were there signs and I just didn’t realize until now?

What about Y/n? I know I love her, but what do these feelings for Charlie mean? If I tell her my confusion will she support me?

Then I went into a rabbit hole of lgbtq hate crime. Reported assaults, discrimination, same sex marriage, conversion therapy and an ultimate gay quiz.

Do you find yourself crushing on actors that are the same gender?

Are you a bit possessive of at least one friend of the same sex?

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to kiss a member of the same sex?

My results came out to be 62% homosexual. But could I trust the test?

The tears came before I realized they were there. One spilled, but I quickly blinked the others away.

I shut my laptop shut. The test was from online. It can’t be accurate at all. I’m not gay. I’m straight. Y/n is my girlfriend and I love her and Charlie is my good friend. Right?

…..

The next day wasn’t any better. I received a good morning text from Y/n.

[Y/n]: Good morning! I’ll see you at school xoxo

I ignored it. I couldn’t face her right now. I had too much to think about. I knew I was hurting her by pushing way, but I just couldn’t deal with anyone at the moment. Even her. My favorite person.

“Nicholas.” Harry got me out of my daze.

“All right?” I asked.

“How’s it?”

“It’s fine. Normal.” I wasn’t fine. Nothing was normal, but I wasn’t going to confide in someone like Harry.

“Pleased for you mate.”

“So, uh, what’s up?”

“Here to talk about a party, mate.”

“Party?”

“My sixteenth birthday party. St. George’s Hotel, this Saturday. You’re going to be there. And Y/n.”

“Uh…yeah. Sounds good. I’ll let Y/n know.”

“You’d better bring some extra cool people with you as well.”

“You are going to invite me?” Imogen said out of nowhere. I looked up and saw Y/n and Imogen.

Imogen looked at me eagerly as she expected me to invite her, while Y/n had a blank expression. There was no anger, but there was slight confusion. I know she was thinking about how I ignored her text this morning.

“Um, only if you’re cool enough apparently.” I said to try and lighten the mood.

“Um do you not think I’m cool, Nick Nelson?” Imogen asked.

“Fine, I…I guess I can invite you, Imogen.”

“Perfect!” She squealed and walked away. Y/n grabbed my hand and then kissed my cheek.

“Was there a reason why you ignored my text this morning?”

“I must have missed it I guess.” I know she didn’t by my lie because her eyebrows furrowed.

“Then why didn’t you send me a good morning text?”

Damn.

“I uh… I woke up early and didn’t have time to check my phone. Do you want me to check it now?” I began to dig into my coat pocket, but Y/n stopped me.

“No it’s okay. There’s no need. I’m already here. Just try not to forget again. I know it’s not obligatory for you to text me in the morning, but it just felt weird not getting one this morning. I guess I grown used to it.”

“Okay. I’ll try not to forget.” She smiled at my reply.

The bell rang.

“I’ll see you after school.” She said.

I kissed her forehead.

“After school.” I mumbled in her hair.

“Come on Y/n let’s go.” Imogen said.

“Alright Im coming!” She turned round me.“Bye.”

“Bye.”

_____________

“Alright everyone take a five!” Ms. Swan said.

“Thank you five.” We all said in reply.

My phone dinged and I quickly picked it up to see the notification, but it was a stupid notification from YouTube. I groaned in annoyance.

“What’s got you in such a sour mood?” Imogen asked.

“It’s Nick. I know it’s stupid, but he hasn’t sent me a good luck text before rehearsal. And yesterday he forgot to send me a good morning text. I know I’m sounding like a clingy girlfriend, but something seems off. I just don’t know what.”

“Hmm. That does seem weird, but I wouldn’t think too much about it. Just talk to Nick first. See what he has to say first before jumping to conclusions.”

I thought about Imogen’s words and it made sense. I should hear Nick out before assuming things and communication is key in a healthy relationship.

“Hey Y/n!.”

It was Ivy.

“Hey Ivy! What’s up?”

“The costumes are in and Ms. Carlotta wants to do your fitting first.” Ivy said.

“Oh yeah sure!” I turned to Imogen “I’ll be right back.” Imogen nodded and I followed Ivy to the black box.

“Y/n how’s your day been?” Ms. Carlotta asked.

“So far so good. How has your day been?”

“Can’t complain. Are you ready to see your costumes?”

“I’m excited.”

“Well here there are.”

Ms. Carlotta pulled out a costume rack and the 5 outfits that I had already put together were hung on the rack.

My first outfit consisted of black washed out baggy Jeans with a tight black crop tank top. A little stuffed purple bear was added as a little character element and the outfit would be paired with sneakers.

The second outfit was a cropped t-shirt with a shirt black skirt which would be worn with a lather jacket later on in the play.

Next were the pajama sets which were my favorite pink and blue plaid pajama shirts paired with a tank top with a moon and the sun on it that I stole from my cousin and pink socks. The other pajama set was a tie dye t shirt from summer camp, paired with my pink Nike pros.

The next outfit was black shorts pair with black halter top and a green sheer cover up that Carlotta found online paired with doc Martin’s.

Then my eyes came across two outfits that I did not recognize. One of them was a short gold sequenced dress and the other was a white satin midlength dress. These must be the custom made outfits that Carlotta was talking about the other day.

“Do you like them?” Carlotta asked.

“I love them!” I said. I let my fingers travel against the satin fabric. It was soft to the touch and the dress was absolutely beautiful.

“Would you like to try on that one first?”

I nodded with a smile. Ms. Carlotta plucked the dress from the costume rack and handed it to me.

“You can get changed in the bathroom and then Ivy can make some adjustments if needed when you get back.”

“Okay.”

I quickly scurried out of the black box and walked to the girls bathroom down the hall. I wasn’t the biggest stall, so I didn’t have a lot of room to change, but I managed. I hung the dress on the hook on the stall door and began to strip my clothes.

I always hated changing in bathrooms, but there was nothing I could do. The changing rooms only existed for tech week and the live performances because they were the band and chorus rooms.

I stepped into the dress, I made sure to not let it touch the floor, and put it over my shoulders. There was a zipper in the back so I zipped it up and it only went up half way. My arm wasn’t long enough, so I had to have Ivy do it when I came back to the black box

I grabbed my clothes and the hanger and walked back to Ivy and Ms. Carlotta. I entered the black box and Ms. Carlotta gasped.

“You look like an angel!”

I looked down shyly. “Thank you!”

“Does the dress fit good?”

“The dress fits, but my arm is too short, so I couldn’t zip it up all the way.”

“Well that’s okay. Ivy can zip it for you.”

Ivy smiled as she approached me and she told me to turn around, so I did. She tried to push up the zipper, but it wouldn’t budge.

“I’ll bring the zipper down and try again.” She said.

I nodded.

Ivy lowered the zipper and then tried to pull it up again, but it wouldn’t go up all the way again.

“Are the measurements correct Ms. Carlotta?” Ivy asked.

“They should be. Why?”

“Her dress isn’t zipping up.”

“Let me see.”

I heard footsteps and I felt a different set of hands handle the dress. The zipper still wouldn’t go up.

“I think I just ate a big lunch today at school. Really big tacos.” I said. That wasn’t true. I always ate food from home, but I felt like I needed to have an excuse for why the dress didn’t fit.

“Well that’s alright dear. We’ll just let it out a bit.”

I nodded, but I couldn’t stop the uneasy familiar thoughts and feelings that crept up in my mind.

—————————

Charlie

“Do you want to go to Harry’s party, with me?” Nick asked me.

“Oh…I don’t know. It doesn’t really sound like my sort of thing.”

“Please come. I want you to be there.

“Okay.”

“Great and it won’t just be me. My girlfriend Y/n is going to be there and so is my friend Imogen.”

…

[Charlie]: NICK INVITED ME TO HARRYS PARTY

[Charlie]: IM SCREAMING

[Elle]: omg your’re going to a popular people party

[Tao]: wait isn’t that tomorrow??

[Charlie]: yeah? why?

[Tao]: I thought we were having a film night round my house tomorrow

[Charlie]: I’m so sorry I totally forgot:(

[Charlie]: I told Nick I would go with him to the party

[Tao]: you said you’d hang out with us!!

[Charlie]: can we just do that another time?

[Tao]: it’s our film night!! It’s sacred!! Isaac and Elle, back me up on this!!

[Charlie]: I know, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you!

[Elle]: it’s okay it can just be us three tomorrow and we’ll do something us four soon :)

I felt bad for ditching Tao, Elle, and Isaac, but going to this party was something I couldn’t pass up.

—————————

Nick, Imogen and I were at Harry’s party and I was having a lot of fun. I hated Harry, but I loved his party. I know this party was celebrating Harry’s birthday, but my two favorite people were here and Tara and Darcy texted me that they were coming too.

Imogen went to go get a drink and I was currently dancing with Nick. I knew I had to talk to him about him being distant lately, but that could wait. Tonight was all about having fun and this was not the right setting to have a serious conversation. I looked at Nick and his eyes were on the door. Again.

“Why do you keep looking at door?”

“What?”

He must not have heard me over the loud music.

“Why do you keep looking at the door?” I said a little louder. “You’ve been looking at it all night.”

“Oh well I haven’t seen Harry yet and I want to wish him a happy birthday.”

It was odd that he wanted talk to Harry, but I didn’t think too much about it and nodded. Eventually Nick and I began talking to one of Nick’s teammates. One of the ones I actually liked.

He was talking about how annoying one of our teachers is when Nick waved at a guy. I turned around and noticed skinny looking guy with black curly hair. Nick waved him over and the guy sheepishly walked over.

“Hey did you just get here?” Nick asked.

“Yeah.” The guys replied.

It was silent for a moment and no one said anything. Nick looked back at me as if he just remembered I was still here.

“Oh uh…right. Y/n this is Charlie. Charlie this is my girlfriend Y/n.”

“Oh so you’re Charlie!” I said.

The boy nodded.

“I heard so much about you! It’s nice to finally meet you!”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” He smiled and it was a cute smile. He was adorable. No wonder Nick took a liking to him and took him under his wing.

“Do you guys want to sit over there at the couch? It’s kind of loud in here.” Charlie suggested.

“Yeah sure.” I said. Nick nodded. I grabbed Nick’s hand and the three of us walked off the dance floor. Everything was going great. I was getting to know Charlie more and more until Harry showed up.

“Nicholas! Y/n!”

“Alright mate?” Nick asked.

“What are you two hanging out in here? It’s a bit boring, innit?”The rest of Harry’s possy laughed and I rolled my eyes.

“We just are.” Nick said.

“Why so moody Y/n. Is it the time of the month?” Harry asked.

I rolled my eyes again. “Piss off Harry no one wants you here.”

“Ouch. I don’t think that’s a nice thing to say to the birthday boy. You know Nick I always told you that you need to control your—“

“Don’t finish that sentence Harry.” Nick said angrily. “Y/n is not just some dog that I control. She’s a human being and she’s my girlfriend and as my friend you should treat her with respect. So stop saying that I should control her it’s getting old.” Nick shouted.

Nick’s words sent a swell of pride in my chest. Seeing him stick up for me like that made me realize why I love him in the first place. His kindness and his heart.

I placed my hand on his knee and when he looked at me all the anger left his face and his eyes softened.

“It’s okay.” I said. Then I turned to Harry. “Some people just never learn when to shut their trap.”

I kissed Nick on the cheek. “I’m going to go look for Imogen.” Nick nodded and I turned to Charlie. “It was nice meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you again?”

Charlie nodded and smiled. I smiled back and then went to go look for Imogen. It didn’t take me long to find her. She was currently watching in amazement as a guy was making a concoction of some sorts. The guy was greasy looking, so the drink was definitely not safe.

“Come on.” I said as I pulled Imogen away.

“But my drink!”

“We can get drinks over here where we can see the alcohol come from the bottle and into the cup.”

I grabbed a bottle of alcohol and poured our cups.

“You don’t need to be so protective Y/n. I can take care of myself.”

“I know. But I don’t trust that guy.”

I handed Imogen her cup.

“Bottoms up in one go?” Imogen asked with an arched eyebrow.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe.”

“On 3.”

“1…”

“2…”

“3!”

We chugged our drinks at the same time and I coughed when I was finished.

“Wow. I usually do not drink vodka that fast.” I put my hand on my chest to try to stop the burning.

“Let’s do it again!”

I simply shrugged. What’s the worst that can happen? Imogen began poring us another round.

“Hello dear sister.”

I rolled my eyes, “Hello asshole.”

“Ouch that was harsh Y/n.” I turned around, ready to insult Xander again, but then I saw someone I wasn’t expecting to see. Noah.

“Hey Noah. I didn’t know you were invited.”

“Hey Y/n. Yeah Chris invited me and I invited your brother.”

I had no idea Noah knew I had a brother and that it was Xander. Not to mention that he was friends with my brother. I felt bad for not knowing so much about him. He’s my costar I should at least know basic information.

“What are you doing here?” I said to Xander. “You never go to parties.”

“A guy can change.” he shrugged.

I turned to Noah. “I didn’t know you two knew each other.”

“Yeah we’ve been friends since year 9.” Noah said.

“Year 9?!”

“Yes, yes I have a social life outside of you Y/n.” Xander said. “Anyway. Where’s Nick?”

“That’s a first.”

“What?”

“Not calling him names. Have you grown a soft spot Xander.”

“No. No! I was uh…just asking where the little twerp was. You two are usually always together.”

Xander always said he didn’t like Nick, and he especially likes to say so by calling him names behind his back. I knew he didn’t really hate Nick, because Nick and I have been friends for years. Xander is just taking the protective older brother role. But maybe he was warming up to Nick or possibly lying this whole time.

“He’s with his friend Charlie. I left both of them to go look for this one.” I turned to Imogen who had our cups ready.

“Bottoms up!” She exclaimed. “1, 2, 3!”

We downed our drinks again in one go. The burning and sensation was less strong this time.

“Woah. You might want it slow down there.” Noah said.

I shook my head, “Don’t worry I’m fine. You know this is the first time we’ve ever been with each other outside of practice.”

“Yeah you’re right.” He agreed.

Imogen put her arm around my shoulder.

“Let’s go dance!”

I turned to Xander and Noah. “Do you guys want to join?”

“Sure why not.” Noah said.

Xander downed the drink he had in his hand, tossed it behind him and said, “Screw it.”

The four of us made it to the dance floor and it was great. I also got to talk to Noah here and there and I learned more about him. It was nice to feel more connected with him. Us getting along better will definitely help with the play.

Imogen and I were dancing to one of our favorite songs when I saw Nick walking through the dance floor. I quickly walked over to him.

“Nick! Come dance with me!” He seemed caught off guard, but when I put my arms around his neck he didn’t hesitate to put his arms around my waist.

“You know I can’t dance.”

“It’s fine. I don’t care.”

We danced for a while and then I asked.

“How’s Charlie? I know Harry was a little harsh with him earlier.”

“He’s doing alright. I was actually looking for him earlier, he kind of disappeared.”

I stopped dancing and now I was alarmed. Charlie shouldn’t be alone at his first party and especially not Harry’s party.

“Do you want me to come help you look for him?”

“No…no I can go look for him. I want you to have fun.”

“Are you sure?”

I noticed hesitation in his face, but his words remained true.

“I’m sure. Go back with Imogen.” He kissed me on the lips and then slowly pulled away. I smiled before goofily dancing away. Nick instantly laughed at my antics, but there was a sadness in his eyes. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he walked away.

I turned around confused, but then I saw something wonderful. Tara and Darcy were kissing in public! In front of everyone!

I know they were taking about sneaking around less, but seeing them kiss made it more real. I quickly ran over to them to scream with joy.

————————

Nick

I watched Y/n dance away and I took her in. Like really took her in. I watched the glitter on her face shine as she moved. I saw the lights paint colors of blue, green, purple, and pink on her skin. I watched as she danced crazy in public, but didn’t care because she wanted to make me smile. This is why I love her. Her soul is beautiful. Y/n is beautiful.

She doesn’t deserve any of this. She doesn’t deserve me being confused with my feelings. She deserves someone to be there for her and I haven’t been there for her recently. I got too in my head and she’s starting to notice, but I can’t help it. I have a lot of emotions that I can’t process, but I need time.

A part of me wants to tell her what’s going on. How I have conflicting feeling for Charlie. Before we started dating she had always been a reliable person I could go to. A safe space and person. But I couldn’t go to her for this. I would basically be telling her that I have feelings for someone else, and that’s kind of cheating emotionally.

But I don’t know what to do! I can’t tell her this, as much as I want to, and I can’t keep treating her like this. All I can do now is stare at her and watch how care free she is. Capture herself in this beautiful moment.

Y/n must have noticed my change in demeanor because she stopped dancing, but I didn’t want her to worry so I began to walk away. Y/n will get an explanation, but after I sort everything out. Right now I just have to try my best.

I was making my way to the doorway when I saw Tara and Darcy kissing. I smiled. I talked with Tara earlier tonight. The last time we talked was when we kissed each other at a get together when we were 13. It was nice to catch up and she said that she was here with her girlfriend and how they wanted to stop hiding. I internally applauded for my friend and her girlfriend. They achieved a milestone and it should be celebrated.

Seeing Tara and Darcy actually reminded me of Charlie. Wait Charlie. I was looking for him earlier. He’s been gone for a while and now I’m starting to worry. I pushed past a few people on the dance floor, and after saying hi to a few people in passing, I finally found Charlie.

He was sitting on the couch Y/n, Charlie and I were sitting on earlier, but something seemed off. He looked upset. I walked over to the couch and sat next to him.

“Hi.” I said.

“Hi.”

“You left.”

“Sorry. I felt like I was in the way. And you’re year 11 friends are kind of intimidating, but Y/n is really nice.” He looked around for Y/n, “Where is she?”

“On the dance floor with Imogen. Yeah my friends can be intimidating, but I don’t know if I want to hang out with those guys anymore. I mean Y/n has been telling me for years to ditch them, but I think I’m finally going to stop hanging out with them. I’d rather hang out with you anyway.”

“So I just ran into Ben.”

Oh no.

“Ben?”

“Yeah. I mean—I dealt with it. He tried to like apologize for what happened, but I pushed him into a wall and told him to go away. I think he got the message this time.”

I was shocked. Charlie didn’t seem like the type to fight back physically, but he stood up for himself and I was proud of Charlie. I saved him from Ben and now Charlie saved himself from Ben tonight.

“I’m so proud.” I put my hand on top of his.

“Shut up!”

A bunch of cheers erupted from the dance floor.

“It’s kind of noisy in here isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Should we go somewhere quite then?”

I don’t know where this came from. The music was just fine, but for some reason I wanted to be with Charlie and away from all of this.

“Okay.” Charlie said.

“Come on.” I grabbed Charlie’s hand and cut through the dance floor, so I could find a quiet place.

“You want to race?” I offered.

“Oh you want to race me?” Charlie said and before I knew he already started running.

“No, no, no.” I said as I ran after him.

“Come on.” Charlie said as we raised up the stairs.

“Wait stop! You’re going too fast!” I forgot how fast Charlie was. I could barely keep up with him. I’m surprised he’s not on the track team.

“You’re going too fast! Slow down!” I exclaimed, but Charlie didn’t slow down one bit and he kept on going up the stairs.

We finally got to the top and I followed Charlie down a hallway. I was dust.

“Come on.” Charlie said.

“I’m trying!” I said through tired breaths.

“It’s ‘cause you’re old.” Charlie teased.

Charlie opened a nearby door and ran in. I followed him in shortly after.

“Woah.” Charlie said as I entered. I looked around the room. There was a big crystal chandelier in the middle and a huge decorated Christmas tree. There was no furniture, so the room was completely empty, well except for the tree.

“Yeah.”

“How did Harry hire this entire place?” Charlie asked.

“Oh he’s like extremely rich.”

“He should have gone on My Super Sweet 16.”

“Hmm. So he could cry when his parents got him the wrong color Lamborghini.”

Charlie laughed, “Exactly.”

My breaths started to slow down, but I was still tired from the run, so I took a seat on the floor by the window. Charlie followed suit.

“So…I guess you’re pretty happy with Y/n.” Charlie said.

“Yeah she makes me happy.” I said which was the truth.

“So you don’t have a crush on anyone else at the moment?”

I wanted to say no, but then I would be lying and I couldn’t do that. I hesitated before saying, “Well…I didn’t say that.”

“Oh.” Charlie took a deep breath.

“What’s she like then?”

“You’re just going to assume they’re a “she”?”

Charlie looked shocked. I was shocked too. Where did this sudden boldness come from. The last time I felt this bold was when I asked Y/n out on a date.

“Are they…Are they not a girl?”

“Um…”

I didn’t know what to say. I was still very confused about my feelings. Did I like boys? I don’t know.

“Would you go out with someoen who wasn’t a girl?”

I didn’t know what to say again. All my life I always had crushes on girls and liked female celebrities. I never considered seeing boys that way.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Charlie inches his foot closer and placed his right hand beside mine on the ground.

“Would you kiss someone who wasn’t a girl?”

“I don’t know.”

I felt his pinky slightly touch my pinky and jolts of electricity went through my finger.

I nervously looked up at Charlie and he was already staring at me.

“Would you kiss me?”

I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to say yes, but I wanted to say no at the same time. I didn’t say anything and instead inched my hand closer to Charlie’s.

I slowly looked up at him and down at his lips. The last lips mine touched were Y/n’s and I’ve only ever kissed girl’s lips in the past. But when I looked down at Charlie’s lips it didn’t seem so odd to do so.

“Yeah.” I finally answered his question from before.

Charlie slowly leaned in and after a few seconds I leaned in as well. I close my eyes and waited until I felt Charlie’s lips on mine. It was definitely different. Strange, but not bad. It was definitely a new experience for me.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked at Charlie and I quickly turned my body ahead. Charlie did the same. The atmosphere was awkward now.

I just kissed a boy, Charlie, and I kind of liked it. So what does this mean. Am I gay? No that can’t be right. Iv’e liked girls all my life until now, so maybe…maybe I like girls and boys. The thought felt odd, but good.

I looked back at Charlie, but he looked unsure. I guess it makes sense. This whole time he thought I was straight until now. Hell even I thought I was straight until now. I grabbed his hand to reassure him that everything was okay. He looked back at me and then we leaned in again.

He put his hand on my back and my hand found its way to his arm. We kissed for a few more seconds. It was simple and innocent and I almost let my mind go, but then my mind went to Y/n. Omg Y/n!

I just cheated on Y/n. My girlfriend. The one person I was supposed to protect, care for, and love. I just cheated on the girl I loved. I felt awful and not because of Charlie. Charlie had nothing to do with this. I felt awful about doing such a thing to someone as pure a soul as Y/n. She doesn’t deserve any of this.

“You okay?” Charlie asked. He must have realized something was on my mind.

“I…” but I was interrupted when I heard Harry’s voice.

“Nick, are you up here? Y/n is looking for you. Why are you hiding?”

I quickly stood up and pulled away from Charlie. Charlie looked shocked, but I couldn’t say anything. Not now. Without saying a word I walked out to go see Harry.

…

“And like it’s all just banter, isn’t it? I mean the lads can see it’s banter, you can see it’s banter. There’s no need to start anything, just ‘cause you’re in a bad mood at my birthday party.” Harry said matter a factly as if he had the story straight. But after everything thats been going on and with what just happened, I don’t have the energy to argue with Harry right now.

“Yeah. Guess I was just in a mood.”

“Yeah exactly. So we’re good?”

As much as I wanted to scream no at him I did the exact opposite.

“Yeah. Just going to find the loo.”

At least I could make up an excuse to leave. Then I thought about how I acted after I kissed Charlie. I acted like a total douche. I just up and left him with no explanation.

I walked back down the hallway to the room Charlie and I were in before and I opened the door, but it was empty. Charlie left. Great.

I walked out of the room and walked back to where Harry and his friends were and they were gone as well. At least I wouldn’t have to deal with them.

—————————

Tara, Darcy and I were talking on the couch that Nick, Charlie, and I were on earlier. Imogen went off to go snog some boy and Xander and Noah went off to go do their own thing.

Tara and I were talking about our last dance class when I saw Nick in the corner of my eye.

“Nick!” I said, but he didn’t hear me.

I stood up from the couch and ran after Nick.

“Nick! Nick!” I followed him down the hall and outside the door. We were now outside in the driveway of the hotel.

“Nick!” Nick stopped in his tracks when he heard my voice, but he didn’t turn around.

“Nick?”

I finally caught up to him, but he didn’t turn around. I gently tapped his shoulder.

“Nick.” I said softly and slowly Nick turned around.

I looked at his face and I saw what I saw in his eyes earlier with a hint of something else. His eyes were filled with sadness and now regret.

I said nothing and wrapped my arms around him. Nick wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my shoulder. He began to cry.

I’ve only seen him cry once before and that was when his dad left. But that was so long ago. We were kids back then. But as I held him in my arms now he looked like the little boy that cried in my arms all this years ago.

I rubbed circles on his back and I did something I always did when he was sad. I wrote a message on his back. At first I did it as a way to comfort him, but then we made a game out of it.

I traced on his back “I love you” and that just made him cry harder. Now I knew something we going on, but I didn’t know it was this bad. This whole time he was struggling and I didn’t see it. I’ve been a terrible girlfriend, but I can change that now. I patted his back before I slowly pulled away and Nick wiped his eyes.

“I’m going to text my brother and ask to take us home. Is that okay?”

Nick nodded.

I pulled out my phone and texted Xander.

[Y/n]: hey are you still at Harry’s party?

I waited a few minutes until he answered.

[Xander]: yea why?

[Y/n]: Nick isn’t doing too well and he wants to go home. I went with Imogen, but I know she wouldn’t want to leave so early. Can you take us home?

I waited a few more minutes, but he didn’t reply. Seriously?

“Hey.” I turned around and saw Noah.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Xander said you and Nick needed a ride home and I was the one who drove us here. Xander is just getting our coats real quick.”

So Xander decided to help.

“Well he could have had the decency to text that.”

“Where’s the fun in that sis?” Xander said as he walked down the hotel steps. I rolled my eyes.

“You got what you wanted anyway. Now let’s go.”

I grabbed Nicks hand and we all followed Noah to his car. We all got in the car and I sent a quick text to Tara to take Imogen home, since I was leaving. Tara sent a thumbs up.

Noah began to drive and Nick put his head on my shoulder. I interlocked our hands as I looked out the car window.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Thursday, December 5th and Friday, December 6th - Part One

SWEET: I'm the hot swing I'm the twist and shout [tapdances] When you gotta sing, When you gotta ... let it out.

~~Once More With Feeling~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Dreamworks by mabus101 (Anya/Tara, M)

I'll See You In My Dreams by OddDodd (Buffy/Giles, M)

Falling for the vampire by ashwhowrites (Willow/vampire!reader, not rated)

Slayer’s blood by Lilacsandorangeblossoms (Buffy/Spike, R)

Lump of Coal by ClowniestLivEver (Buffy/Spike, R)

Christmas Blackout by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, T)

Candles in the Window by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, T)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Soul Mate Magic, Chapter 20 (complete!) by Emma_M_Black (Giles/OC, M)

Indelible, Chapter 8 by indeliblemelody (Giles/reader, M)

Miss Summers Goes to Washington, Chapter 9 by storiwr (Buffy/Faith, E)

The Original Buffy Summers, Chapter 3 by broodybaby (Buffy/Spike, M)

Maps, Chapter 6 (complete!) by thisyearsgrrl (Buffy/Faith, E)

Spuffified: A Collection, Chapter 7 by satinsafe (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

The Degradation of Duality [Series Part 2], Chapter 66 by Ragini (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Carol of a missing lipstick, Chapter 9 by rossshin (Buffy/Spike, G)

Comin’ to Town, Chapter 2 by Melme1325 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

The Magic of Sunnydale, Chapter 12 by Buffyworldbuilder (Scoobies, Harry Potter crossover, FR15)

Why Me? Chapter 17 by JoeB (Buffy, Lilo and Stitch crossover, FR7)

Eyes Forward, Monster, Chapter 10 by Desicat (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)

The 12 Days of Christmas, Chapters 1-13 (complete!) by RavenLove12, Geliot99 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: The first Christmas of many by JSBirsa (Scoobies, worksafe)

Artwork: Giles by hexedhat (worksafe)

Collage: #256 [Spike] by thedecadentraven (worksafe)

Collage: #257 [Buffy/Spike] by thedecadentraven (worksafe)

Artwork: I'll Never Tell by x66r9u (Xander/Anya, worksafe)

Fanvid: Buffy Summers - Wasteland by Faith Victoria

Fanvid: Buffy & Spike || New Depths by Tifa&Rinoa

Fanvid: Buffy & Spike - My Old Man is a Bad Man | Lana Del Rey - Off to the Races by Buffy & Spike Channel

Fanvid: Buffy & Spike | Tempt My Trouble by KcchameleonProdz

Fanvid: Buffy and Angel - Goodbye by Rita Carvalho

Fanvid: Buffy & Dawn | She gets away with everything by Tara's_Willowverse

Fanvid: Spike & Buffy - Darkside by William Pratt

Video: BtVS | Spike - Well, I sing ... by William Pratt

Video: Buffy's Scythe! Replica Prop by Factory X detailed REVIEW and restoration in 2024!! by Dripped In Plastic

[Reviews & Recaps]

Ok this season just got serious! | S3 E14-15 “Bad Girls” and “Consequences” by The_Fullmetal_Titan

I have a confession to make: I don’t think I like Selfless very much by coraniaid

Video: Buffy's Musical Masterpiece... by Jack Antrobus

Video: Touched-Slayer Sunday by Jane Talks Buffy

Podcast video: Buffy S03E09 "The Wish" Spoiler Review by LGRN - Entertainment

Podcast video: Buffy's Angels: Deep Down by The Franchise: A Film Podcast

Podcast video: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 3 Episode 11 - Gingerbread by Sh*t 90s Shows Taught Me

Podcast: Storyteller S7 E16 Buffy and the Art of Story by Lisa M. Lilly

Podcast: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 3 Episode 10 - Amends by Sh*t 90s Shows Taught Me

[Recs]

Fanvid rec: Slayer by thedothatgirl recced by Priceless

Fic rec: The Sound of the Universe Coming Back (Buffy/Spike, G) by Shaitanah recced by Priceless

Fic rec: all we have (Dawn, G) by taxicab12 recced by Priceless

[frenzyarts]

idk if u ever wondered this but i wonder why whenever people talk abt au characters there’s like an exclamation point in the middle. like example yandere!sans like what was up with that

Reddit has the answer :D from this Reddit post (copy and pasted here for your convenience)

“"! = The Exclamation Mark or 'Bang' Symbol -- refers to a short form for expressing the presence of a particular trait or defining quality of a character in a story. One which is usually not part of the original canon characterization, or is at least an extreme interpretation of the canon characterization. Most often written in the format of trait first and character's name last, with the symbol in between. (For example: "Smart!Jack" in Stargate: SG-1, indicating that the character of Jack O'Neill is secretly smarter than he pretends to be.) The compact format of [trait]![character's name] manages to quickly and clearly describe to the reader an accurate depiction of the author's choice in characterization before they even read the story."

http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/moonbeam/terms.html

EDIT: found some more

"Fan Fic communities will often have tags specific to their fandoms that they use to describe tropes that occur with some regularity (Slytherin!Harry, Future!Hiro, or Vamp!Willow, for example). The title of a given Fan Fic 'verse, or an abbreviation thereof, can also be used to indicate the version of a character from that setting, particularly when there have been major changes to them: UF!Utena, SME!Jadeite. Because this kind of tagging is ad hoc and in no way formalized, it's common to see unusual and/or idiosyncratic tags that indicate some truly wild variants, such as Cyborg!Xander or Amberite!Xena. The practice is starting to seep out from fanfiction, though, and can also be used when talking about similar things in the source material, such as, for example, Future!Hiro, Vamp!Willow, or Brainwashed!Undead!Starscream (Energon!Starscream for short). It's also used in a more tongue-in-cheek manner to categorize examples of the Mary Sue in a quick, concise form. It can also be used to identify a specific version of a character or work when it had been done by different people and/or in different media since those can vary wildly from the source material. Sometimes this uses the name of the specific author or simply the form of the work (Manga!Pride, Anime!Greed, Leroux!Erik, or Movie!Phantom) These tags are also occasionally used when dealing with customizable characters in computer games. In addition, tags like this are used in spreadsheet programs to denote what sheet the cell in question is on if it's not on the same sheet as the cell you're typing in. Bang paths were used in early e-mail to specify a UUCP route to a given user, and they're still part of the return path in Usenet"

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterizationTags

EDIT AGAIN: Found even more. There seem to be conflicted views on the origins of this, but this one at least explicitly addresses them:

"Origins The adj!noun format is purported to have started in X-Files fandom. Good examples for this are Wombat's Spotter's Guide to the Common Krycek and the accompanying Spotter's Guide to the Common Mulder where several Krycek sub-species such as Bad to the Bone!Krycek, Bad but Lovin'!Krycek, Hot'n'dirty!Krycek or Misunderstood!Krycek and Mulder sub-subspecies such as Angst!Mulder, Basketcase!Mulder, HappySlut!Mulder, Sensitive!Mulder and WellAdjusted!Mulder are described. The first usage was Action!Mulder, referring to canon scenes where Mulder suddenly went all actiony (instead of talky), followed by Saint!Scully. Eventually they lost the initial capitals and the canon connections; by the time it hit other fandoms, it was being used to describe fannish things.[1] Some believe that the use of the exclamation mark came originally from coding, particularly javascript, where it has the meaning of "not". Thus, Saint!Scully would essentially mean, a characterization (in fanworks) of Scully as a saint which diverges from who Scully really is in the show. This possible origin remains obscure, though, and this belief about the bang appears nowadays quite rare."

http://fanlore.org/wiki/!

FINAL EDIT:

Thanks this was actually an interesting little side-trip into something I didn't previously know about.”

Also this:

“Thank you so much! This was exactly what I was after. :)

EDIT: I just found this additional explanation from a Tumblr post, makes sense!

It’s originally from C/C++ code. If you have a boolean variable that’s true or false and you put a ! in front of it, it just flips the value. If the variable is X and X is true, then !X is false. So it’s basically saying the character is the variable, ! activates a different version of the variable, and the identifier at the front tells you what version of the variable it is.”

I had wondered if it had something to do with programming, I’ve worked with C++ and javascript in the past 🤔 thanks for sending me down that rabbit hole anon!!

[fandomtherapy44]

Stolen Moments PT 2 Spike x reader

Paring: Spike x reader

Warnings: SMUT, Blood kink, semi-public sexual situation, language

Summary: Y/n and Spike have some stolen moments in the alleyway of her work

Reblog Banner and 18+ Banner

and divider

cafekitsune

WC: 1,123

Hey, y'all, so I'm not dead, yay~ I've just been super busy with life, and I did take a break in January. But I am back, and I'm super excited for this year. If you guys like JJK, I have some Fics in the works, so I hope you stick around. Hope you enjoy!

I breathe in deeply smelling old coffee, bacon grease, and smoke wafting from my night shift customers. The ancient TV noise bleeding through its almost rusty speakers blends in perfectly with the atmosphere of the thirty-year-old dinner I work at. It being almost eleven almost lured me into thinking the rest of my shift would go smoothly, but I would be wrong. The ding of the door shakes me out of my thoughts. I yell out the same thing I would to any person coming in.

“I’ll be right there!” I go to make the cup of coffee that every customer gets. But then I heard his voice.

“It’s okay luv I can wait.” I almost drop the fragile cheap cup. My neck hairs stand up and I turn around.

“Spike...”

“Y/n.” I snapped right back into being professional because right now was not the time to deal with… what happened.

“Hi welcome have a seat anywhere I’ll be right with you.” I replied with what I like to call my disney princess voice I use with all my customers. He walks up to the crusty diner bar and leans against it.

“Luv please can we talk?” He stares into my soul trying to get a word out of me that wasn’t about food.

“Talk about sir?” I place the cup of coffee in front of him and act like we didn’t bear our souls to each other a couple of weeks ago.

“How about the fact that we fuc-” He started and my eyes went wide.

“I’m going on break!” I called out to my boss threw off my apron and stepped outside with lightning speed. The cold air hit me like a brick forgetting my jacket in the speedrunning I did to get away from my problems. In the chattering of my teeth and the shivering of my body, I didn't hear the door open.

“Here.” He handed me my coat. I took it and slipped it on.

“So can we talk now?” 

I sighed, kicked a rock, and nodded. 

“Why have you been avoiding me like the plague, trust me I would know.” 

I pick at my nails and think about what’s been building up in my mind like a dame waiting to explode.

“I… I don’t know Spike I just thought about everything not just that night but everyone and everything. And if we came together how everyone would be against us. I also feel like maybe I wouldn’t be enough for you.” I finished my thoughts looking down and not hearing anything I looked up just in enough time for me to see him kiss me. His lips fit on mine like a puzzle piece that the box has been missing. They were chapped like he had been chewing on them from nerves. I throw my hands around his neck and pull him in closer.

“Okay, one fuck whatever else thinks or says because I know what I feel and I know what I feel. And two you are my everything, you are the badass woman who somehow wiggled herself into my heart and is the only one that I will allow to keep my lighter. Not enough? I would die for you Y/n.” 

I hear his words and let them sink into my heart. He sees my head lost in thought and lifts my face to meet his.

“Let me show how much you mean to me.” I nod and he kisses me again.

18+..... Below cut

Our lips touched and it was like no time had passed since the last time we did this dance. This time his lips tasted sweeter, like a sweet Carmel that sits on top of a lovely coffee that hits you with the feeling of entering seventh heaven. We stumble backward hitting the bricked wall causing his leg to go in between mine.

“Mhh Spike we don’t have much time.” I somehow got out between the mushing of our bodies.

“Well, I just have enough time to give you a treat then luv.” He whispered in my ear nibbling into it.

I could feel my panties getting moist from that. He moves down his mouth to my neck getting magnetized towards my sweet spot him knowing it so well already. He bites down and in it let’s out his fangs. Some blood dripless down my neck. Pooling in my collarbone.

“AH, spike!” I groaned out. The feeling of ecstasy came over me like I never felt before. Even more than when we slept together. His fangs are released. His tongue finds the blood dripping down and licks over the sore spot soothing it. One of his hands travels down to my thighs and parts them just with two fingers. Spike leans down slowly teasing me. And pulls down my almost-soaked panties. He then lifts my leg to put on his shoulder and bites down on my inner thigh. He goes in even deeper than he did on my neck. 

“Spike! Be gentle!” I told him as he was drinking my blood.

“As you wish.” He let go and then goes up to my pussy and kitten licks it. 

“AH FUCK!” I yell out without meaning to. He starts licking up my pre cum that was leaking out. Not even going in yet.

“Does that feel good baby~” He purred out. And before not even letting me speak he pushes his tongue in with force. My brain goes into an overshock, body feels electrified. He starts to move it in and out like a finger. It moves around mapping out each inch. His other hand goes to play with my clit. Lightly touching it to not overstimulate me. I then feel him suck up. I think I’m about to cum but he let’s go.

“Spike~” I whine out and he surprises me by kissing me but gently this time like he was telling me that this meant something to him. What I didn't see was his finger go under my dress and go to my pussy and push in. I moan into his mouth and search for his tongue longing for more. He complies and meets me in the middle I can taste myself and it’s the same sweetness of the caramel. His finger starts pumping up at a nice steady and fast pace. Ringing around making sure to touch every spot that his tongue touched. He gets faster and faster more and more pre cum is coming out of me. With a suck of my tongue and a jaunt up in my pussy. I squirted all over his hand. We come apart breathing heavily. 

“So can I pick you up tomorrow at eight?” Spike carefully puts his non-wet hand on my face. 

“Yes.” 

[gloomzombie]

I'll Bury You For This

Pairing: Jeff The Killer X Male Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4,122

Chapter Two: Boys Don't Cry

Ch. 1

I jolted awake at the sound of the USA national anthem playing. I groaned loudly, my hands roaming the bed for my phone. I picked it up and stopped the music. Goodnite Dr. Death? I thought I took that off my playlist..

I rubbed my face and combed my fingers through my hair. I look over at the clock. "Shit." 6:38pm? I went to sleep directly after school. Dammit. This is exactly why I usually don't take naps after school. I stood up and stretched, my muscles sore from the position I fell asleep in.

I looked around the dark room, my eyes not yet adjusted to the absence of light. The sudden noise coming from my stomach makes me realize how hungry I am. 

"Goddammit." I swear, opening my door as quietly as I can. I peak my head out, glaring down the hallway to see the blue light from the tv lighting up the living room. I take a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for if John is awake. I take small, slow steps down the hall so as to not make any sound.

I continue on until I'm by the edge of the wall, peeping around it. I couldn't help the sigh of relief from coming out of my mouth. He's asleep, his mouth slack open- saliva trailing down his lip onto the couch cushion. Gross.

I keep my footsteps at a low volume, but I quicken my pace as I walk to the kitchen. I look around and decide to settle for a few snacks and the water I didn't finish in my room. I take a few granola bars and a muffin, then make my way back to my room silently.

I drop the snacks down onto the bed and go back to the door, shutting it as quiet as I can. I sit down on my bed and take my book out of my backpack.

I ripped open the plastic off of the granola bar, taking a bite as I opened the book to the page I left off on.

Hours go by without me being aware of it. I can always spend hours upon hours with just a book. Reading takes me away from everything and gives me a different reality to be caught up in, if only temporarily. 

Sometimes I'll catch myself daydreaming about if I were a character in the book. Whether I be a student in Harry Potter, a half-blood in Percy Jackson, or a vampire in Twilight, everything in books seems much better than the reality I live in; the reality I have to deal with.

I try not to daydream because of it. What's the point in wishing for something when you know it's not going to happen? That'll only end up in disappointment, and red and swollen eyes, which isn't pleasant.

It's 10:48 pm by the time I put my book down. I didn't realize how tired I was getting until then. I yawned, rubbing my eyes. I feel tired, but I don't really want to go to sleep. 

I hate going to sleep because tomorrow is another day. Another day filled with endless questions and people. Godawful people. 

I put my book back in my bag and lie down on the bed. The covers were shoved aside from earlier so I pulled them over my torso. I take my phone and go on instagram.

I scroll through my homepage a bit, getting bored of that rather quickly. I bite my lip and decide to go to Xander's page. A foolish decision that was.

He posted on his story 10 minutes ago. I could feel my heart beating in my chest as I pushed myself to watch it. I stare at the screen without letting myself process what I'm watching. 

It doesn't surprise me, but it doesn't make me happy. Haley or Jade or whoever he said the girl was that he went home with, was in his lap. Xander had taken photos of her kissing him and a few with her basically chewing on his neck.

I let the last story pass and am met with his page once more. I sigh a shaky breath. I didn't even realize how my eyes started to tear up. 

I shake my head as if to pull myself together and wipe the tears away before they could fall. I make sure my alarm is set before putting my phone down and laying my head down on my pillow. 

I let the stray tears pricking at my eyes fall down onto the cotton pillow sheet as I pull my covers over my shoulders. I already know the nightmare is coming before I let sleep take over me.

August 20. 7:15am.

I’ve sat laying in bed for a while now. I woke up 15 minutes before my alarm and I didn’t see a point in going back to sleep. The past week has gone by in a blur, most of it spent doing the smallest worksheets and keeping to myself- well, for the most part. I’ve been getting closer to Gage, which is good timing since Xander is barely talking to me. 

The buzzing of my phone pulls me out of my reminiscing. I sit up immediately, getting a little dizzy. I wait for my vision to come back before wiping my forehead. God, I sweat so bad last night. 

I turn and kick my feet over the bed, getting up slowly so as to not get dizzy again. I sigh. At least today’s Friday. I push myself to move to my drawers, taking out a simple outfit for today. I don’t feel like dressing up.

I go to the bathroom and take a shower. After drying most of my hair with a towel, I put my clothes on which is just another band tee and oversized jeans. I didn’t bother to put on any jewelry, but I put on a black studded belt. If I didn't, the jeans were bound to fall down eventually.

I looked into the mirror, gazing at my reflection for a bit. I moved my hands up to my head and ruffled my hair a bit to let the layers show a bit more. I walked out of the bathroom and looked down the hallway. 

The blue light of the tv had been shut off, meaning John moved to his room. I quietly took my backpack from my room and hurried over to the door. I glanced over at the kitchen and decided to skip breakfast. I’ll just wait until lunch to eat there.

I slip my shoes on and open the door as quietly as I can, keeping my eyes locked down the hallway. I manage to leave the house without waking John up for once.

8:08am.

I make my way to school and to first period. Though I didn’t have to deal with John like I usually do, I’m still feeling very sluggish. It’s going to take a lot of time getting used to school again.

Just like every other day, I took out my phone and earbuds, stuck them in my ears, and listened to music. I don’t know how I’d live without it. I turn it up more, the sounds of screaming and electric guitars filling my ears and effectively shutting out unwanted thoughts.

I felt a light tap on my shoulder and looked up to see Lily’s pale face. I pause my music. “A little more tame today, I see,” She teased, nodding at my shirt. 

I felt a heat rush to my cheeks as I had to look down at my shirt again today. Linkin Park. “Oh, yeah I just threw this on.” I chuckled, a little embarrassed of how little I paid attention to what I put on earlier. 

“Well still, so far you’ve proven that you have a good taste in music,” Her ruby red lips curved up into a smile, and I couldn’t help but smile back. “Thanks.” I look down at her shirt. Motionless In White.

“Seems like you do too,” I looked back up at her, her brown eyes meeting mine once more. She moved her hand up to cover her mouth. “Thank you..Do you maybe want to hang out later? My older brother's band is playing a gig at 6.”

I chewed on my bottom lip, a nervous habit I picked up a few years ago. “Yeah, sure. Where’s it gonna be?” She took the seat beside me and scooched closer to mine. 

“It’s at a bar. My brother’s been going there since he turned 21 and because he’s friends with the guy that owns the place, he managed to get him to let me come with a plus one as long as we don’t drink.” I could see a hint of mischief in her eyes, and her smile looked more like a smirk now.

I raised an eyebrow. Is that allowed? Obviously not, but.. “Cool. I’m in.” Lily’s smirk turned back into a sweet smile. She pushed her chair away. “Awesome. Give me your number so I can text you the address.” 

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and tapped on the contacts, then handed it to me. I typed in my number, put my name in, and gave it back. “Oh, Stacy’s here. Talk later?” Lily looked over towards where her friend was sitting.

“Yeah, of course.” She smiled and turned, going over to sit with Stacy. I sighed, looking around the room. Mostly everyone was here, besides Xander, a few other people, and Ms. Johnson.

I look down at my phone. The clock read 8:20. Ten minutes left and the teacher still isn’t here? She sure is making a habit of being late. I look back up after resuming my music. 

Oh that’s great. Jeff trudged into class, almost stomping to the chair next to mine. I watched him as he took his seat and rested his head on the desk. I bit my tongue, resisting the urge to mess with him this morning. I’ve been making a habit of meaninglessly flirting with him to bother him, but I don’t think I should when he seems tired already. See? I’m a nice person.

I tore my gaze away from the boy next to me and focused on listening to the song, which was now AmEN! by Bring Me the Horizon. I didn’t think I’d like it, as it has a rapper on it but it’s actually really good. I especially love how Oli brought back some growls like in one of their earlier albums, Suicide Season. 

After that song passes, the next has barely started before Ms. Johnson comes into the room in a rush. “I’m so sorry, students! I- uh,” she fails to find words as she puts her things down on her desk. She looks up at the class. 

“I just got caught up in traffic. You can have more time to work on that word search.” She sat down and conversations started up around the classroom. I shrugged and put my playlist on again. 

I had already turned in my millionth word search yesterday, so I took out my sketchbook. It’s obvious I won’t be learning anything in this class this year since that’s all she’s given us this whole week. I flipped to a blank page and started to draw. I spent the rest of first period drawing and listening to music, it was actually really nice.

The bell rang and I stood up, closing my sketchbook and shoving it in my backpack. I make my way to the door, walking out. I walk to my locker, music still blasting in my ears. 

A hand pulls out one of my earbuds and I look up. “The fuck is your problem?” I immediately snapped without registering who I was looking at. I looked her up and down. It was the girl I saw on Xander’s story the other night.

“Oh..sorry.” I apologize before she can. I take my phone out of my pocket and pause my song. “No, no. I shouldn’t have done that,” She avoids eye contact and shoves her hands into the pockets of her striped jacket. 

“It’s fine,” I lied, “What’s up?” I kept my expression as emotionless as I could. I don’t know why, but I feel hostile towards her. “Um. I know you’re Xanny’s best friend. Do you know why he isn’t here today?” 

I have to stop myself from giving her a rude look. Xanny? Seriously? “Nah, sorry. He hasn’t been talking to me much lately, so I wouldn’t know.” I put the earbud she snatched out back in. 

“Oh. Well, thanks anyways. I’ll see you around.” She turned to leave, but I reached and grabbed her wrist. “Wait, what was your name?” I asked. It slipped my mind Monday, when he mentioned her. 

She turned back and I let go of her. “Jade.” I nodded. “Nice to meet you.” I couldn’t care less about her. Jade smiled. “You too.” She turned and I let her go. 

12:11pm.

I sighed as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. No one else was in here and I was really exhausted. I should’ve taken my meds today. I feel like shit and I want to leave.

I would rather be dead than be caught skipping though, especially when it's still the first week. I took a deep breath and left the bathroom, making my way to the cafeteria. 

As I walk in, I scan the room. I see Gage sitting alone and couldn’t help but smile. I walked over to him, not paying attention to the people that looked at me.

He doesn’t notice me approaching so I come up behind him and place my hands on his shoulders. I smirk as he jumps a little under my touch. “Hey, pretty boy,” I whispered in his ear.

He shudders. How cute. “Oh, h-hey.” He stuttered. I move from behind him to sit in front of him. “How’s your day been?” I asked, placing my elbows on the table. 

“Eh. It’s been pretty boring so far. I haven’t really made any friends or anything and the work’s been easy.” He took a bite of his sandwich and frowned at me. “Do you not have any food?” 

My smile dropped. “Oh. Yeah, I guess not. I was gonna just eat the food here, but I didn’t anticipate it to be as gross as it is today.” I looked down and fiddled with my fingers.

A chocolate chip cookie was placed in front of me and I looked back up at him. “I know it’s not much, but you can have it. My mom always packs them for me, but I don’t really like chocolate chips.” I couldn’t resist Gage’s soft smile. I sighed. “Thanks. That’s really sweet, why haven’t you told your mom you don’t like them?” I ask as I take a bite of the cookie. 

“I just don’t want to upset her. She’s been packing them in my lunches everyday since middle school, and I think if I tell her I’m not eating them she’ll get upset that I’m growing up or something.” He looked down, a blush grazing his cheeks. 

“It’s silly.” He added. I tilted my head. “It’s not. I think it’s sweet you’re thinking about your mom’s feelings.” My mom died when I was 3, so I never really had her pack lunches for me. 

Sometimes I think about how things would be different if I did have her growing up. I don’t remember how she was, or how she looked. John threw out everything that reminded him of her as soon as he could, he told me that himself before he started losing his memory- and I’ve yet to find anything that could’ve belonged to her.

Gage looked back up at me with a sweet smile. The blush on his cheeks had reddened a bit, but he didn’t seem to mind. “You think?” He bit his lip. I smiled back at him. 

“Yeah. I think so.”

1:32pm

I got to History later than I wanted, because the teacher was assigning math homework. I get it was going to happen soon, but I'm already sick of math. I walk in and Jeff is already in his seat.

I sigh and make my way over to mine, putting my stuff down as I sit. I take out my sketchbook again, turning to the page I had already started on today. As I started to add details to what I already drew, I could feel a pair of eyes boring into the side of my head. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” I suggested, keeping my focus on the page.

I heard him scoff. “I’m just making sure you don’t draw me again.” I stopped and looked over at him. He was staring at me, not the paper. I raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh, that’s why you’re so interested in what I look like and not the paper.” 

His face scrunched up, his eyes squinting. “Well, I was looking at it until you opened your big mouth.” I chuckled, scooching my chair closer to his. “Yeah, let’s both pretend that you don’t think I’m attractive.” 

I move my hand up to his face and tuck his hair behind his ear. I was expecting him to move away like he’s been doing, but I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist. Now it was my turn to be confused. 

“Yeah, Y/N. I just didn’t think you’d feel the same about me.” He whispered, his voice dropping a bit. I exhaled sharply, my heartbeat racing. “Well, you clearly thought wrong.” I found my voice and his other hand found itself tangling into my hair.

He yanked my head closer to his, my face inches away from him. I can’t imagine how red my face must be right now. I knew he was just messing with me like I’ve been doing to him, but I couldn’t help but feel so flustered by his actions.

His pale blue eyes locked onto mine and stayed there. I sighed and pulled myself out of his grasp, moving my chair back in place. He started laughing as I tried to even out my breathing. “Looks like he can’t handle it when someone plays his game against him” 

I rolled my eyes. “I can, you just haven’t done that before and it caught me off guard.” I looked down at my desk, my heart still pounding beneath my chest. Suddenly I could feel his breath on my ear.

“Sure thing, pretty boy.” He whispered and I had to stop myself from shuddering.”Have something you want to share with the class, Mr. Woods?” I didn’t even notice when the teacher walked in the room.

He pulled back, suddenly very awake now. “Nope, not at all Mr. Smith.” a few girls giggled at his response. Mr. Smith shrugged and went back to writing on the whiteboard. 

I looked back over at him and his eyes met mine. He winked then looked at the board. So he’s really gonna do this? Lord have mercy. I’ve gotta get used to this if I want to keep messing with him. 

2:58pm

The next class seemed to last forever, I was glad when it was over, being one of the first students to leave. I went over to my bike, picking it up and getting on.

The ride to my house was a blur, I wasn’t focused on anything in particular. I just wanted to get home. 

I make it home and I set my bike down outside, taking my keys out of my pocket and opening the door. I look around and notice John wasn’t there. I let out a sigh of relief. 

I go to the kitchen, looking around for something I can eat. There was nothing around that I really wanted, but my eyes landed on John’s wallet. I pondered the idea for a moment, and decided why the hell not.

As much as I hate to say it, he’s my dad which means technically I should be allowed to use his card for food since he can’t do it himself. I go through it and take his card out, shoving it in my back pocket. 

I put his wallet down where I found it and made my way to my room. I set my bag down and pull my phone out of my pocket. I had two messages from  a number I didn’t recognize. 

I opened it. ‘Hey !! It’s Lily. The bar’s address is…’, ‘Oh and you should try and wear something less teenage looking. I still think it’s a good idea to look as old as possible.’

I saved her number in my phone and sighed. I closed and locked my door, walking over to my full length mirror. These pants should be fine, but I should put on a different shirt. 

I go to my dresser and look through my shirts, carefully picking out which one wouldn’t scream angsty teenager. It was a Metallica shirt, so it should work. It doesn’t scream angsty teenager from this year. 

I slipped my Linkin Park shirt off and replaced it with the Metallica one. 

I went to the bathroom, taking a good look in the mirror. I guess I shouldn’t put on any makeup. I wonder if we’re going to be drinking tonight. I know she said the owner didn’t want us to, but you never know what happens.

I kinda hope we do, it’s been way too long since I’ve gotten drunk. I go back to my room and plop down on my bed after making sure the door is locked. I check the time on my phone.

I’ve still got a few hours until I have to be at the bar, but I don’t want to be alone with John again today. I go through my contacts and click on Gage’s. I got it on Tuesday, when I was teasing him about not giving it to me. 

He blushed and just blurted it out. I didn’t even mean for him to do it, but I’m very glad I got it. I send him a text saying: ‘Hey Gage, it’s Y/N. Do you wanna hang out for a bit?’ 

Not even a minute later, I get a text back. ‘Sure! What do you wanna do?’ I catch myself smiling at my phone. I’m happy that I have someone to spend time with.

‘Do you have a DVD player?’ ‘Yeah, what’re you thinking?’ ‘Maybe we can watch that movie I talked to you about, the one about the demon?’ ‘That’d be cool! Need me to come pick you up?’ 

I thought about it, chewing on the skin on my bottom lip. It’d be nice to ride with him, but that’d probably mean John would want to meet him..

‘Nah, I can take my bike there. What’s your address?’ I get up and take my backpack, shoving some clothes in it along with my deodorant, hairbrush, and other small stuff. 

After he sent me the address, I asked him if I could come spend the night after I left the bar. I told him about my plans earlier at lunch, so he already knew I was going.

I couldn’t help but get excited when he said I could. I haven’t been out of the house in way too long and it’s been killing me. After so long of having to answer my dad’s constant string of repeated questions and having so many arguments with him, it started driving me crazy.

I sling my backpack onto one shoulder, heading out my room to the bathroom. I take my toothbrush and my meds, putting them in the backpack as well.

I walk to the front door, placing the bag down. I make sure John’s card and my phone are in my pockets before letting out a deep sigh. I make my way back down the hall and to his door.

I open it to see him sleeping on his bed, a pile of what I assume to be dirty clothes on the corner of it. “Dad?” I push myself to shove him awake. His eyes roll open lazily. 

“Huh? What is it?” I took a deep breath. “Can I spend the night at Xander’s tonight?” I asked. I knew he wouldn’t know who Gage is, and I really don’t feel like explaining to him right now. 

He knows who Xander is, surprisingly, I guess because I’ve known him for so long. He groaned, turning over to the other side. “Yeah, go ahead.” I smiled. “Thanks.” He grumbled a “You’re welcome” and I left.

[reginaphalangelobster]

Stay High

Former Spike x GN!Reader

Summary: You lose the man you love and you go downhill fast.

Warnings: Alcohol and drug use, swearing, grief, depression, just a lot of angst

Word Count: 1,043

You walk through the front door and see the Scoobies sitting in the living room.

"Buffy, what are they all doing here?"

"We think you need help" Buffy said.

"You need to cut this out, you're making things worse for everyone around you" Xander snapped.

"Xander! We agreed to be gentle about it" Willow reprimanded him.

"We're worried about you, Y/n" Giles told you.

You get overwhelmed by everyone staring at you and you lash out.

"You have no idea what it's like!" You cried out "You don't have to live with it everyday!"

"You think it doesn't hurt for me? You think I don't miss him?" Buffy responded.

"You don't have to live with the guilt"

"I feel guilty, we all do"

"I don't" Xander muttered and Willow slapped his arm.

"You shouldn't feel solely responsible for what happened" Buffy said.

"Of course I feel responsible! We loved each other and I let him down!"

"I-I didn't know you loved him" Giles utters, trying not to upset you anymore.

"I do. I did"

"He wouldn't want this for you"

"How dare you stand there and tell me what he'd want? You didn't know him half as well as I did!"

"Y/n, calm down"

"How can you tell me to calm down?! Spike is dead! And I have to get high just to keep my mind off it, I have to spend everyday in a haze to forget what I let happen! I think about him all the time, getting high is the only break I have and that's starting not to work anymore!"

"Y/n" Giles said softly.

"I'm done with this" you stormed out, up the stairs and to your room.

"Y/n, you're not getting out of this!" Buffy called out.

You rifled through your drawers trying to find anything but coming up empty handed.

"Looking for these?" Anya said, holding up a bag of pills.

"Anya, would you just give them to me?"

"Nope, you're not getting these back, you have a problem"

You turn around anxiously and run your hand through your hair and over your face.

"Anya, I really need some, please"

"No"

You are detoxing and you can't handle it, you run at Anya and snatch the bag out of her hands. You run down the hallway and out the door before she can catch you. You make your way down the dangerous streets of Sunnydale at night, popping pills along the way. You go to the Bronze since you know you can score there. You walk through the door looking terrible and head for your dealer.

"Whoa Y/n, you look like shit!"

"Yeah, I know Ricky. Now do you have anything or not?"

"Always got something for my favourite customer"

He hands you four different coloured pills and you down them all in one go.

"Hey, that's too much you shouldn't take more than one of those an hour or you'll get really messed up"

"That's what I want, Ricky"

"You could die"

"Good"

You go over to the bar and get half a dozen mixed shots and drinks. You do all the shots at once and start chugging the drinks. All you want to do is get away, get away from the people, the town, your feelings, everything. You go back to the dance floor where you see some friends.

"Hey Y/n! Got anything good?"

Your head starts to spin a little and you trip and fall into someone's arms.

"Hey, you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"You don't look fine. Why don't you sit down?"

You decide to take him up on his offer and sit with him while you try and ride out your high a bit. He starts tracing your inner thigh with his fingers.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Sh, sh, sh, just relax, baby"

Before you know it he's on top of you and you're making out. You don't really know what's happening, spots start to cloud your vision. You feel his lips go lower and his fingers go higher. Suddenly you feel him get ripped away and you stare up to see Spike.

"Get up, we're going home"

You try to sit up but you can't even manage that. Spike picks you up and carries you out the door and into his car.

"You know you're an idiot. You should have told me, I would have helped you before you got to this"

"I didn't think I could tell you"

"Why not?"

"I thought you'd tell the others or end up hating me"

"You know I'd never do that"

"Do now"

You get back to his place and he helps you to his room and lies you down in his bed.

"Please don't leave me"

"I won't, pet"

He gets into the bed with you and just holds you for the next few hours, stroking your hair and telling you everything is going to be okay and for the first time since he died you thought it might be.

You wake up in a strange bed hours later, you sat up, very confused before you saw Angel walk in.

"Hey, you feeling any better?"

"What happened?"

"Giles called me, he said they couldn't do anything to help you and he thought I might be able to do something. I went to the Bronze and threw some pig off of you before I brought you back here"

"Where is here?"

"A motel room, just outside of town"

"Spike wasn't there, was he?"

Angel looked at you with a terrible sadness in his eyes. He may have hated Spike but you loved him and he could see the pain in your heart, he remembered what it was like to lose people and he wished you didn't have to go through that.

"No, Y/n, Spike died weeks ago"

"I-I know I just thought he was there"

"Sorry, just me"

"You drove all the way from LA for me?"

"Of course I did, you're my best friend"

Tears start to pour from your eyes and you collapse into Angel's arms. He holds you as you sob, he'll hold you for as long as it takes.

"A-Angel, I can't stay here"

"I know, we can go back to LA whenever you're ready"

"Thank you"

[ajoytobeheld]

Wolf like me (you think of a better title)

July 14th, 2009

Unless you have been living under a proverbial rock you will be aware that SFX released a vampire special this month and although it is a tad pricey, it’s worth getting your mits on for the Buffy mouse pads and very long and detailed interview with James Marsters. James a.k.a Spike was voted the number one vampire by the good readers of the magazine, which is a fair assesment. The top ten seemed pretty spot on if it wasn’t for Selena from Underworld being in there, but the commentry on her was “I SO WOULD PHWWWOAR” rather then a intricate reflection of her fanged antics… at least Robert Pattison’s placing in the top 50 had the pull out quote “When you read the book it’s like “Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself”"

In honour of this I have made a Top Ten Six Werewolf list

6. Professor Lupin: Isn’t it weird that his last name is a deviation of the latin word for wolf like AND he is a wolf?! It’s like those people whose last names are Pratt and they are pratts! Oh Miss Rowling, your subtlety never fails to amaze me…

5. The cast of Dog Soldiers: This British horror film is a favorite of myself and Ollie’s, and the name summarizes the film better then I ever could… It’s mindless, stupid, entertaining, and better then Severance so bonus.

4. Joanie in Cursed: This film directed by Wes Craven is a thinly veiled lesson in safe sex, with the werewolfness being spread by Joshua Jackson’s unprotected penis. Myself and Alek saw it in the cinema and felt the line uttered by the character Joanie “I guess there is no such thing as safesex with a werewolf” was wonderful. Plus it’s the only film I have seen with a werewolf giving Christina Ricci the middle finger.

3. Michael Sheen in the Underworld trilogy: Technically he is only in one and two, but because he can act proper and that he manages to make the films half decent. Plus this film is about the forbidden love between a vampire and a werewolf which we have all pondered over and contains a particularly impressive sex scene over the edge of a cliff.

2. OZ! When I was younger I really liked Seth Green and all I wanted in my life was a small ginger boy with black nail varnish who played guitar to sweep me off my feet, I was what you might call “emo” and “living in a fantasy world of my own creation.” Anyway, due to this affliction I was rather invested in his and Willow’s love.

I was impressed with how they dealt with him being a wolf and Willows little fling with Xander and I cried my little heart out when that EVIL SLUT Veruca teased him away with her werelady charms.

1. Brigette and Ginger in Ginger Snaps: This film is about two nerdy death obsessed sisters and is a thinly veiled (aren’t they all!) metaphor for going through fun puberty, where one of them literally gets “The Curse” but thinks it is just her hormones or a really bad period rather then because a werewolf bit her. It’s a good twist on the werewolf genre, and is maybe like Heathers but with Wereladies.

(Oh and the second one is set in Pagan times, and isn’t very good.)

p.s I went to see the first ever screening of the new Harry Potter film last friday in London and Simon Mayo was there, but sadly no Mark Kemode. However, I will give a little review of it after the premiere on Tuesday as well as covering myself with the free Harry Potter transfer tattoos I got.

Ellen x