#y'all know he's a freak and a maniac right?

[meanmisscharles]

Fanfic Stede:

"Weep you no more, sad fountains;

What need you flow so fast?

Look how the snowy mountains

Heaven’s sun doth gently waste.

But my sun’s heavenly eyes

View not your weeping,

That now lie sleeping

Softly, now softly lies

Sleeping..."

Show Stede:

"Look, I need a hard hitter, I need a deep stroker

I need a Henny drinker, I need a weed smoker

Not a garden snake, I need a king cobra

With a hook in it, hope it lean over..."

[kairiscorner]

the confounding case of dr. o'hara. — miguel o'hara x gnreader

✧ summary: your first ever real patient out in the field as a criminal psychologist, and it's the recently caught supervillain, dr. miguel o'hara; a disgraced genius geneticist that supposedly went insane after a freak accident that not only worsened his hunger for rapture, but also turned him into a horrifying spider mutant. you had to be wary around him, anything you could tell him could make him try something risky... but what he wants with you now that he's gotten a whiff of you and your scent is something far more than just risky... he wants your life, but not to take it, but rather, for you to willingly submit yourself to him and only him. ✧ pairing: miguel o'hara x criminal psychologist!reader ✧ genre: (honestly idk, it's not fully fluff but not fully angst nor comfort either ... ? tis just a guilty pleasure fic ig !) ✧ author's note: this is inspired by the lovely kimmy's art on twt !! I'M SORRY, IDK MUCH ABOUT THE DETAILS ON DR JEKYLL AND MR HYDE, I DIDN'T WANNA BUTCHER ANYTHING AND I HOPE I DIDN'T !! i mixed some traits between joker, gomez addams, and some elements of the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde ! ... i hope y'all like this :'DDD AND I'M SO SORRY FOR THE SHITTY SPANISH FGIRUFBUIRBIURTB google translate is all i got .......

i. the scent of honey and a vision of an angel.

pages and leaflets of the mountains of cases against this man successfully made you shiver at the sound of his name–you couldn't believe just how little remorse he had for every crime he had ever committed written down in these records, it was like being in the scenes of a true crime documentary; it didn't feel real that you were going to speak to the very man himself and see just why he committed all those crimes... and why he could only smile at the thought of wreaking so much havoc. you took in a deep breath and walked into the hall where his cell was in, taking cautious steps as you heard the leaking of pipes and the dripping of water accumulating into puddles the further down the hall you entered.

you had no idea why, as a rookie, your first patient would have to be a criminal mastermind—but you needed all the experience you could get, not many people in your field at your level of expertise get the chance to talk to high-profile criminals like him; and you were far more professional and knowledgeable at your job compared to your colleagues in the academy; surely this wouldn't be too bad... right? well, the minute you saw the light coming from his cell, you were greeted to the sight of a hunched over man, sitting quietly at the center of the room with his back turned to the glass in front of you. you gently tapped at the glass, but that didn't catch his attention. "i know you can hear me." you spoke as you tried to get him to turn around again, but he still didn't budge. you rolled your eyes and sat down on a chair across from his cell; preparing to ask him questions that he probably won't even answer.

you introduced yourself as a freshly graduated criminal psychologist from nueva york university, you hoped he would cooperate with you and give you reasons as to why he committed his crimes, explaining to him that he could get a much more lenient punishment if he could explain his side of the story as to why such a once well-respected man had spiraled into such a morbid life of crime. you heard a low chuckle rumble from the other side of the glass, and that low rumble became more audible, all the way until he was cackling loudly; the sounds reverberating throughout the rubber-padded white walls and rang throughout the glass. the cackling soon faltered out and ceased, you felt the hairs on your body stand up as you heard every octave of his maniacal laughter–you'd think that years of case studies and witnessing firsthand from your mentors that dealing with people like him wouldn't be too challenging or disturbing, but this experience proved you to be wrong, so terribly wrong.

as the laughter died down, the corner of the man's smile showed from behind his long, shaggy unkempt wispy hair; and when he turned around to face you, you saw that his eyes were a dark shade, they were bloodshot and crimson, they were deathly, and you knew he was far more dangerous than any other criminal could contend with. the man grimaced and slowly creeped his head around over his shoulder to get a good look at you. his body followed suit and gradually turned to face you, the brown restraints on his white, yet stained, straightjacket made him look both pitiful and dangerous all at once. suddenly, the man slowly got up and wobbled over to you–it was as though he had gone days, maybe weeks, without walking; could he have stayed in that position this whole time before you came to see him?

the man's gaze was bearing into your own, his eyes not leaving yours as his grimace widened; the corners of his smile reaching his ears as he chuckled every now and then in a delusional daze. his chin and cheeks were dotted with stubbles and hints of fuzz and a beard–he had gone days without shaving, either, it seemed. he pressed his forehead against the glass and stared down at you, and only then were you able to understand how big he was; about 200 centimeters and counting, and yet, he was able to be restrained... he was frightening, and he knew you thought that of him.

"...miel..." the sound escaped his lips, the first word he spoke in a long while. you looked up at him in fear and gulped, writing down what you heard. "...w-what?" you asked him, hoping he'd repeat the word. the man's grin widened creepily as he slowly opened his mouth to speak again, and a dribble of saliva dripped down his chin as he stared at you, hungrily, like a starved predator cornering its prey. "miel, mi cariño, it's... honey, sweet as... shocking honey, making me hungry..." he murmured out, hid constant breathing fogging up the glass. you moved your chair back a little and cleared your throat, making miguel press his face against the glass even further as you moved away from him. he thumped his forehead against the glass, making you jolt a little and look at him. he stared at you from underneath his eyelashes and smirked widely.

"don't... don't escape me, mi tesoro... c'mon, it's been... too damn long since i've had such a pretty little thing come here and look so shocking ravishing–" he gushed and mumbled as his breath quickened and his smile got even wider, but seeing as how uncomfortable and tense he made you, he, surprisingly, quit that and moved away a little from the glass. he hung his head in what appeared to be frustration, and mumbled in a hused tone, "ah, quiero arrancarte esa blusa... but i can tell..." he whispered as he sat down closely to the glass and leaned his head forward, looking at you with a sly grin. "you don't like men who are that straightforward, do you?" he asked you as he watched every little move and twitch your body made, sinking in all the details about you as he muttered to himself, twitching as well at your little responsive gestures that said more than words ever could help you articulate the feelings he was giving you right then and there.

he chuckled as he watched you restlessly fidget in your seat, darting your gaze away from him as much as you could. "you're so cute, mi amor... keep that up and i might just really break out of here, i finally have a reason to now that your pretty little face showed up." he said, gazing at you all... lovingly as he smiled the more you stuttered out the next thing you wanted to say. "...there is... literally nothing you'll get out of smooth talking me." you said defiantly as miguel chuckled aloud again, rocking himself back and forth in ecstasy. "you're not only cute, smart, and snarky, but a bad liar too... eso me excita, sabes?" he teased you as he stuck his tongue out, a couple of smuggled piercings on the tip of his tongue gleamed as he did so, making you a little more tense as before. he hummed to himself as he looked at you with an even more sultry, desperate look on his angled face. "you're like an angel... you'll be known as mi angel from now on, okay, mi ángel? keep visiting me more often, mi ángel, i need to be reminded miracles can happen... even to scum like me." he whispered as you looked away from him, making him whimper and beg for you to look at him in spanish and english.

"por favor no me hagas esperar… mírame, mi ángel..." he pleaded with you as he got on his knees and pouted, showing off his lower lip as he gave you such big, sad eyes that tried to convince you to look his way. though he tried to appear less menacing and pathetic, you knew this was just a front of his to get you to do something for him, maybe to get him out? to take his place for him? to... oh, you couldn't even jump to that conclusion, because there's no way that—

"i desperately need you, mi ángel... please, look my way, my little angel... come closer, i need to smell your... your honey-like scent again, it drives me crazy, crazy with love, mi ángel, you can't even imagine..." he begged of you, leaning his forehead against the glass again, sobbing audibly as you sighed. would you look him for a second time? would you kindly let him get a whiff of you again and crave for you? he would never hurt you if you did, of course not; angels aren't meant to be hurt, and you, his darling little angel, would never be hurt around him... he'll do everything to make sure you won't be, and no restraints will ever hold him back from getting his strong, toned arms around your beautiful body, around his little angel, once and for all.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce @oxrchd

[notsogothgf]

You're Gonna Kill For Me Or Die For Me

Johnny Slaughter X AFAB Reader⭐18+ MDI⭐

CW: Blood, Gore, kidnapping

CHPT: 1 Escaping Basement

Oh god things couldn’t have possibly gotten any worse. Every corner I turned the rooms looked the same, filled with blood and bones. I was never going to make it out of here. To think I actually listened to Leland. I just wanted to help Ana look for her sister, but of course this lug head wanted to check out the man with the beat up truck coated in blood. How they never got pulled over for questioning is beyond me. We went poking our noses where we shouldn’t have. Now I’m stuck in a stupid basement full of god knows what. I especially didn’t want to know who or what these bones came from. It was freaking me out the longer I was around them.I tried my best to avoid touching the bones in between the doors. Trying even harder to distance myself from the maniac with a chainsaw. While peering down the dark tunnel ahead I failed to hear the footsteps behind me.Two hands quickly grabbed at me one keeping me quiet and the other holding me still. Gasping and grabbing the hand around my mouth the assailant spoke.

“Sh sh shhh. It’s just me sweetheart.” It was Leland.

I quickly turned around punching him in the chest, “Jesus Christ you oaf you scared the shit outta me!” He smiled, wrapping his arms around me. 

Overcome with so many emotions: fear, anger, sadness, maybe even a little bit of guilt. I held him tightly, shedding a few tears not knowing if this would be our last hug alive.

“Hey now it’s gonna be okay we’re going to make it out of here. Okay?” He held my face wiping my tears with his thumbs.

I nodded, leaning into his palms.

“Now, I’ve made up a couple bone shanks to keep us safe. We just need to stick together and find a way out.” Leland gave my face one last squeeze before letting go.

I let him lead the way as I felt like I was only going round in circles. Before moving too far he handed me one of those bone shanks. I didn’t pay much attention where we were going, opting instead to watch and listen for that rattling chainsaw. The smell of decay and mildew was overwhelming. Made me miss the smell of home real bad, hell I just missed home in general. Bet Ma is worried sick. Leland stopped quickly shooting an arm out to grab me pulling me in a closet. About to open my mouth and question him, the look he shot me told me I needed to be quiet. Holding my breath and looking out of the little slit I saw the owner of the pick up truck slinking by. 

“M’ on yer tail I know y'all ‘r round here somewhere..”

Looking at Leland with wide eyes he just put a finger to his lips. The heavy thuds of his boots circled behind us heading down the rest of the hall. Leland peaked his head out first, slowly stepping out and offering me a hand. Taking it and following him back down the hall opposite of that psycho path. We ended up in what seemed to be the room.

“You see that tin thing? I need ya to open that for me. You know how butter fingered I am” He nodded towards what looked like a pigpen door.

I slowly opened the pen crawling through into the red lit room. I gasped as I saw all the different skulls littering the walls. He crawled out right beside me letting out a small ‘oh god.’ He quickly turned my head and led me to the large metal door.

“Do not turn around, understand me.” He stated as he started fiddling around with the lock on the door.

Everything in me wanted to turn around. “Why?” I whispered. 

He sighed, shaking his head, “ It’s- It’s Ana. Now please don’t look darlin’.”

I needed to know what he meant by the way he sounded. It couldn't have been good. What if I just did a quick look no longer than two seconds? I did and I wish I wouldn’t have. Grabbing Leland’s shoulder and letting out a sob. Ana was sat on some kind of meat hook. Limp. There was blood all around her. Leland sniffled, still picking the lock as he knew I looked and couldn’t spare the time to stop. This was no longer just some scary prank but a fight for our lives. Once the lock popped open he hugged me tightly. He pulled away, grabbing my face lightly.

“We’re gonna make it out of here and we’re gonna go get help. Whatever happens I love you and ‘m sorry I dragged you into this mess.” He kissed me softly.

He was always so gentle with me.” I love you too. Nothings gonna happen. Ya hear?”

Nodding he gave me one last squeeze before letting go. “Now I’m gonna open this door and we’re gonna book it. Do. Not. Stop. Running.”

I wasn’t ready but I had to be if we were going to make it out of here. Leland counted on his fingers as soon as it hit three he flung the door open and started sprinting. I fell behind not being able to keep up with his long strides. I had no idea where we were headed. I just knew I didn’t want to lose sight of him. Playing football really paid off for him though he was fast and agile. He ran through the maze of doors and bones until we stopped at what we thought was the front door. Grabbing the door knob twisting and pulling. It was locked.

“Shit, I don’t have a lock pick.” He whispered.

“I don’t either.” I looked around closely trying to find anything worth using, but not leaving the room. I fear if I did I’d get lost.

“Leland the stairs.” I point to a staircase leading to the second floor. “Maybe we kind find somethin there.”

[camryn-haitani]

Phobia Factor

Duncan x GNReader

Ep: Phobia Factor

TW: suicide talk and panic attack

All the campers are gathered around the fire sharing their fears. But you, you're a little smarter than that. but not as smart as Chris.

I know this isn't like a main fear some of y'all have, but this is a main fear for me. so I just wanted to put it out there beforehand. also just to clarify, y'all aren't dating in the beginning.

- - - - - -

"c-celine dion music store standees..." Duncan says while his head hung low. "uh exsqueeze me? I didn't quite catch that" Cody exclaimed while leaning more towards Duncan. "shut the fuck up you little asshole or I'll kick your puny ass into next week's challenge." Duncan said while holding Cody's shirt.

(in the confession booth)

"uhhh I'm a little scared right now. like I have a feeling Chris is gonna get some sick twisted idea for us. ya know, since we're saying what our fears were. but ain't no way I'm saying that shit Infront of people. and ain't no way I'm saying it here either." I say while crossing my arms.

(with Chris and Chef)

"heh heh heh, oh don't worry y/n. we've been watching you very carefully. you don't have to say what your fear is, I already know it." Chris said followed by a maniacal laugh. "ya know man, you're one sick freak. but me too." chef said while eating his dessert.

(back at the campfire)

"what about you y/n? what are you scared of?" Courtney egged on. "y'all a bunch of dumbasses ya know. y'all seriously didn't think that Chris is gonna do something with this info that he has on us now." I say. "omg you're rightttt." Lindsey said. you facepalmed and shook your head. "I'm headed to bed, good night y'all." I say while stretching and popping my back. "wait up sweetheart, I'll walk you there." Duncan says while walking behind you. "why's that bitch gotta take him away?" Courtney said quietly.

"you know, I have a feeling you're right about the whole Chris gonna do something with our fears thing." Duncan said while putting his arm around your shoulder. "I told y'all" I say, "well good night Duncan. I'll hopefully see you tomorrow." "good night babe." he says while kissing the back of your hand.

'why are feelings so hard. I think I'm falling for Duncan. we've just clicked from the beginning. shit. but I'm in this to win it.' I think to myself before falling asleep

(next morning)

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING CAMPERS. RISE AND SHINE. MEET ME AT THE LODGE FOR BREAKFAST IN 5 MINUTES." Chris yelled over the loudspeakers. "can't we just get 30 more minutes of fuckin sleep?" leshawna said while rubbing her head.

after I got dressed, I walked out of the cabin and was met with Duncan having his back facing me. "hey sweet cheeks, you ready?" "yeah yeah I'm coming." I say still trying to wake up. we started walking to the lodge and I felt someone glaring daggers into my back. I turn around and nothings there. I brush off the feeling and keep walking.

"heyyyy campers. while you finish up breaky, how about heather meet me up at the amphitheater. it's sumooooooo time." "WHAT" Heather spats out along with her drink which hit Gwen. "real fuckin nice heather." Gwen said while her face dripping in water. "awww at least it's a good look on you." Heather says while walking out, shaking with fear.

"see I told you assholes Chris was gonna do something." I yell. "hey y/n. I need to talk to you. it's something important." Chef says while he pulls me out the door.

"ok guys. I found out what y/n's fear is. and I'm really not gonna like saying this but, I need y'all's help to make it work." Chris whisper yells.

(after Chris explained what they need to do)

"you're one sick ticket dude." leshawna says. "yeah man, this is just wrong." Duncan said with his head hung.

(at the amphitheater)

"ohhhhh ok I get it now. thanks chef." I say while walking to go sit next to Duncan. "no problem y/n." chef says going back to Chris. "hey Duncan." I sit down next to him. *silence* "uhh Duncan? you ok?" "why the fuck are you always following me around? get the fuck away from me. this is why Courtney's better than you." he snaps. "......oh. I'm sorry." I sadly say. I get up and go sit next to Gwen. "hey Gwen." "ughh the hell do you want? if you're not gonna be useful then stop wasting my time." Gwen yells. I have one more person I can go to. "hey trent." I say hoping he's not gonna be the the other two. "omg y/n stop thinking we're friends. we are not friends and we will never be friends. go jump off the fucking cliff we did in the first challenge. you'd be doing us a favor." trent says while regretting every word that came out of his mouth.

'fuck fuck fuck. it's happening again' I say in my head. I get up and walk to the woods.

"SHIT. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME." I cry while sliding down a tree to sit down.

*suicide talk starts*

they were right. I should jump off that cliff. my breathing becomes ragged and unstable. I start to shake and my vision gets blurry.

(with Duncan)

'where did y/n go?' Duncan thought. but then a certain memory can across his mind.

*flashback*

"yeah I've had to move schools alot because of how much the people there bullied me and told me things that broke my mental health. I've been told to kill myself. multiple times. my biggest fear is being replaced and forgotten." I say.

me and Duncan were somewhere in the woods just talking. me and him have gotten kinda close but not that close.

*back to now*

Duncan pov:

"I fucked up. I fucked up bad." I say while standing up. I run. I don't know where I'm running to, but I'm running. wait, I'm running to find y/n. I check the cabin, I check the lodge, I check the bathroom. I check everywhere. wait, the woods.

your pov:

it's getting worse. this is the worst attack I've ever had. I start scratching my arm to try and regain neutrality. but nothing is working. I can't stand. I can't talk. I can't think.

Duncan pov:

shit shit shit. I hear them, but I don't know where they are. "Y/N" I yell to at least try. but alas, I don't hear a response.

your pov:

"Y/N"

I faintly hear my name but I can't respond. no matter how hard I try. my voice just won't come out. but I see some rocks. I pick one up and find the strength to throw it. I get one about a foot away from me. I pick up another one, this time I got it a little farther. the last rock, I throw it the farthest. then j hear rapid footsteps coming towards me.

"holy shit y/n. I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible person." Duncan says with tears in his eyes. he picks me up and puts me in his lap while he sits against the tree. he has his hand on the back of my head. 'this is nice' I think. Im still shaking. my throat is hoarse from crying. I'm weak from the energy I've been exerting.

after a good hour or two, I've finally calmed down. Duncan noticed it and asked, "do you wanna go back with the others or to the cabin?" it was around the afternoon and the challenge is over.

"I wanna go see Trent and Gwen." I say barely audible. "ok sweet cheeks let's go."

he picks me up and puts his arm around my waist and we begin walking.

"y/n omg I'm so sorry. I'm such a shitty person. please forgive me. I'll do anything." Gwen said while crying and hugging me. I hug back. "I forgive you. but please never do that again. promise?" "I promise." we break from the hug and I sit down. "fuck y/n. I'm so sorry, I'm a horrible friend. I shouldn't have said those things to you." Trent said while also crying. "please forgive me." "it's gonna take a while for me to forgive you. but I accept you're apology."

we all eat dinner and eve's drop the campfire ceremony. Tyler gets voted off. and we all go back to the cabins.

"y/n!"

"oh hey Duncan. what's up?"

"lemme walk you to your cabin."

"sure"

we begin walking and he says

"y/n. I think I like you. like I get nervous around you and I care about you a lot and when I saw you having that panic attack, I felt horrible because I knew I was the cause. but forget that, I want to be with you. I wanna be by your side through everything. even after this shit show."

"Duncan I like you too."

he closed the gap between us.

after a few minutes, we part.

"well good night sweet cheeks. think if me when you dream" he says

"I already do"

"WHAT" he says with the biggest blush on his face.

- - - - - - -

[hotxcheeto]

Yes the requests are open, (ok anyway) could you do lis characters with reader who has a twin who helps them asking out the one they want to ask for a date whilst embarrassing them as well?

━ 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 - Chloe, Rachel, Victoria, Nathan, Kate 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, mentions of nathan being high, embarrassing moments ig

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - i'm about to crash and burn y'all i got like 3 1/2 hours of sleep if that

☆ 𝐂𝐡𝐥𝐨𝐞 - Honestly, she wouldn't realize that it's not you at first. You're at your house, hanging out as friends. Just a couple of besties. And your twin decides to take it upon themselves to have a little chat, and they're leaning beside her from behind the couch.

Chloe couldn't clearly see them and they're just talking away and finally them pull a move. But again, they know Chloe thinks this is you. Even while saying some dumb stuff. Until they made that move, and asked her about moving things up a notch.

Then Chloe is like wtf, but doesn't say anything because she thinks this is funny. And your twin is just going in on making a move before they both hear you coming and your twin freaking bolts.

And you know they did some shit. You literally could not look at her after that because your twin totally admitted the huge crush you had on her and it really messed with you. But hey, you're dating her now, so you can't totally be mad.

But you totally beat them up after that.

☆ 𝐑𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥 - Knows immediately. You cannot get anything passed her and your twin knows it. Because lord can you not shut up about her. But your twin does not miss a chance to embarass you and get you to make a move.

They will tell her all about how you used to gush over your crushes and how you used to write your first name with their last name. And she's going along with it and laughing. Totally uses it against you later btw. You're screwed now that she has that info.

So then you appear and your sibling is like 'haha, gotta blast' and later they disappear. You are ready to beat somebody up and Rachel is in tears from laughing. Safe to say, you are not laughing until a very long time later.

☆ 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚 - You didn't go to school that day but you wish you had.. or not. Your twin pulled up to Blackwell with a mission when they found out you were sick and they hunted Victoria down wearing your clothes. Victoria didn't even realize it either until way after that it wasn't you. Your twin sure does know you well.

And they're just hanging you out to dry lmfao. They're just ripping on you but not in an obvious more so looking at themselves and saying something stupid about the outfit which is technically all yours. Or when asking Vic to a date at the diner, how you were a 'baby' and a few other names to go along with it.

Safe to say when you get a confirmation text from her wanting to pick a day for the date later you're very confused. But your twin just can't help my laugh maniacally while you chase them around.

☆ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 - Your twin was lowkey nervous to talk to him but at the same time, pretending they're you makes it easier. Especially since he was high when they came up to him, sitting at the diner, a grin on their face when they realized that they could probably get away with this.

They're talking it up with him to and he's just going with it and they're laughing and this whole time he's thinking this is you. And then Nathan gets a text from you and he's like, 'why are you texting me, you're right here?' and your twin is like 'shit'.

Totally blows it away and honestly probably forgets after like 10 minutes. But does trip out when he remembers again later, than you realize what your twin did and nearly make them into a documentary.

Nathan totally confesses he likes you after that conversation, don't ask what they talked about.

☆ 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐞 - So sweet but very observant. She's a watcher, not a talker. She knows almost immediately that it isn't you but does give your twin props, they're good. But not like Kate sees you, in a whole other light. So finally your twin gets to the gist of teasing about you.

Kate is blushing and totally trying not to listen to them because its obvious they're embarrassing you just to do it until the twin reveals how much you like her and then it's like tomato central, she is bright, fire engine red.

Your twin is laughing their ass off at this but thinks it's so cute because aww lovebirds. But you totally murder them after.

a/N: i'm so tired oh em gee

[poopyballz28]

Collection of poopyballz28 baki idea's and thoughts

While I get back into writing, I thought I'd compile a bunch of stupid thoughts that aren't worth having their own post. This is a pretty long one so please laugh. Also ignore that Kiyosumi rant I don't know what got into me guys i swear

-poopyballz28

remembering, like, a year and a half ago when I described Kaoru as being built like a garage door. Never forget. I even liked him back then, I DONT EVEN LIKE HIM NO MORE! He's a meanie fo feenie i dunno, the karate boys are better.

me (number one kiyosumi katou fanboy and knower) watching other writers write kiyosumi falling in love with a woman and being super sexually dominate and it freaking me out because I have been blowing his back out in my brain for like 2 years:

I feel like I don't stress enough how genuinely submissive Kiyosumi is. I don't really write a whole lot of nsfw generally but JESUS CHRIST GUYS LOOK AT HIM. His build is insane where are you guys missing this. Women don't see the visions like I do. They just...cant see it. Perhaps I am too bara obsessed but no...I know the truth about his character...I would know...I'm the number one Kiyosumi Katou fan.....I know....

It's not even JUST his body, ITS HIS WHOLE CHARACTER. uptight, spunky, ego maniacal karate fighter that's super fucked up in the head who puts on this tough, intimidating act but behind closed doors he's a timid, embarrassed, submissive little dick taking asshole with issues that have gone unchecked FOR OH SO LONG. GRAAAHHH nobody sees him as i do ohhhh the LONELINESS how it pains me

yeah sorry guys for...all of that. lets move on to actually funny interesting stuff I thought of.

I was never much of a sporty, working out type of guy so I guess I wouldn't really understand, but whats up with all gym bro Baki fans being obsessed with and idolizing Yujiro and Jack. I just, don't see the appeal. One is a serial rapist and murderer AS WELL as a dead beat father and the other is just a drug abuser. How is that motivating to you people. Why obsess over the virgin Hanma's when you can obsess over the chad karate boys?! But its okay, because I KNOW these people are probably mentally ill, so that's why one day I'm going to open up a HOSPITAL. And a REHABILITATION CENTER for all deranged gym bro Baki fans. Please send funds via my cashapp, $kiyosumiballsucker3000. (thats not a real cashapp guys im trying to be funny)

I'm into REAL characters, that are actually interesting and cool, such as, 56 year old karate veteran and his three autistic and/or mentally ill sons, british, silly highschool girl who causes problems for no one, and not to forget, incredibly (and probably accidentally) gay coded kukendo man who apparently nobody cares about but me. That's right, I'm a REAL Baki fan.

Wondering when I'll expand on that Kureha and Kosho visual-kei band idea. Just THINK ABOUT IT. Kureha on vocals (and perhaps guitar) and Kosho on bass and bg vocals. IMAGINE. Kosho wears beautiful goth makeup and is rocking that deep shade of purple lipstick, AS THINGS SHOULD BE. I will never forgive Itagaki and the anime for removing it. It's just, never gonna happen. The two are in these, fucking, elaborate and gorgeously made outfits christ I'm a fucking genius. Kosho would 1000% wear an elegant (but still incredibly badass) lacy, vkei dress, looking like that fucking mana-sama guy (ourple edition) Ohhhh dude. I need to write some more for this idea.

To all my hardcore artist followers, if y'all want to draw v-kei Kosho and Kureha, I give you free reign over the idea, do your magic.

Wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if Yujiro died from like, the most random, insignificant thing in the world.

He's the strongest man- no, creature, in this world. He can brutally defeat animals larger than half his size with his bare hands. He can stop (and probably start) earthquakes at will. He died of a urinary track infection at 37.

Talking specifically about the english speaking fandom here, why do you think Katsumi is so overlooked and underrated. LOOK AT HIM. He is genuinely (I'm serious here) one of the most attractive manga characters I have ever seen in my life. Not only that but he's been through several arcs and has been included in a large amount of fights, HE'S PRETTY MUCH A MAIN CHARACTER YET NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT HIM!?! HOW!? On both sides of the fandom, Wattpad girls barely write fanfiction with him involved (thank god actually) and the gym bro's barely make their shitty edits of him (DOUBLE thank god) It's just so confusing to me. He's everything I've ever wanted in a character. Ever-growing strength and morals, an adorable and lovable face, a kind but fierce personality, and not to mention that sweet, sweet rack. Gorgeous pair of tits. Absolutely stunning. need to bend him over.

You ever just be reading a Y/N x Baki nsfw fanfiction and they mischaracterize Baki...in like every conceivable way. This guy DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT SEX IS. BARELY. How are you people so clouded by horniness you completely forget his character. He's an awkward little boy, why are they writing him like a flirtatious sex god?! Baki doesn't know what fucking "flirting" is, he's an idiot. He wouldn't freaking "punish" you in the bedroom guys, if he did he'd be so awkward and stumbling over every other word. AND STOP MAKING HIM SAY SUCH VULGAR THINGS YOU FUCKING FREAKS. Baki doesn't know what "eating out" means, he doesn't say curse words often and most of all, he doesn't. understand. sex. He's had sex ONCE with his wonderful girlfriend and they both barely understood what the fuck they were doing ☠️

How about you guys write him like how he actually is. Wouldn't it be adorable if there was an x reader with Baki where you two have like, loving but awkward sex for the first time and you try to guide him and help him understand in a wholesome way!? Wouldn't that be so much more true to character AND unique?? God, I have to do everything around here. Fuck.

Katsumi playing basketball and pointing at you and going "This ones for you, babe." then completely missing the shot.

Have I ever brought up that Kureha childhood headcanon where I think Kureha would find (or even kill) small creatures just to do little experiments on them and dig in their guts. Kosho walks in like "Nii-chan 🙁 what are you doing..."

Another Shinogi brother hc, I think it'd be hilarious if that blackish-brownish color of Kosho's hair isn't actually his natural hair color, and his real hair color is the same as Kureha's. THINK ABOUT IT THOUGH. He want's to be different from Kureha so he dyes it every now and then to differentiate himself. Plus he thinks it looks totally cool. Sometimes you can see his blonde/orange roots when his hair grows out. And yes, Kureha does tease him about this sometimes. Kosho fucking hates it.

Now that I'm thinking about it, Kureha teases Kosho about, like, everything. His v-kei obsession, his dyed hair, his fighting, everything. Not really a cute or funny headcanon either ☠️ Kureha is literally just a manipulative and judgemental asshole. I whole-heartedly believe that to be true. And in a way it is, I mean he is pretty much canonically like that. Kosho doesn't deserve this. Love that little goth guy, he deserves more.

Thanks for reading all this goofy goober shit all the way through. I'll probably be working on something else by the time you're reading this, so be prepared for content. Love you guys 👍

[14dayswithyou]

▋PERSONAL / LOVE LETTER ASKS !

✦゜ANSWERED: To avoid flooding the dash with all of these asks, I'm just gonna compile them into one big "masterpost" ^w^

also y'all have my entire heart!! ty for these cute messages ;v;

By pressing 'keep reading' you confirm that you are 18 or older.

Anonymous asked: i’m like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth waiting for ur post notifications i mean this in the most complimentary way possible

WAHHH ILY!!! I MEAN THIS IN THE MOST COMPLIMENTARY WAY AS POSSIBLE TOO

Anonymous asked: OKAY i just found your game and was kinda sceptic but... It is so??? Good??? I can't i'm in love with ur work 😭😭😭😭 ur writing, art and whole atmosphere is impeccable. Waiting for day 2 with ma hart while sending my love and devotion to u🥺💞💞💞 And Ren- omg that scene made me- No thoughts, only desire to... Tease the hell out of him and play dumb after. Take the lead and make him shaky and needy. Just please him without taking anything in return. Boy deserves some love and pampering and spoiling 😔 I was never especially fond of yandere characters, but then found your game and fall in love with it (and with Ren, he's my comfort character now) I love your writing and art style so much! Thank you for this game! P. S. Please, hug Renren for me 💕

aaaaa thank you so much for sending such a cute ask!!!!! I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the demo (and Ren)! I'll be sure to pass all of your love, hugs, and pampering onto them <3

@kia97 asked: I would like to express all my love for you, because thanks to your inventiveness, you have been able to create a beautiful work!!  your art is so impressive it is beautiful that it was able to capture me from the first moment!!  thank you for sending me so many beautiful emotions and for passing them on in the future as well.  I hope you are Renren you will accept my words of love and I wish you the best💖.

Wahhh thank you for your kind words and support!! ;v; I always see you on twitter and I get so !!!^w^!!! whenever I see your name pop up in my notifications! <3

Anonymous asked: this is my ever first time on playing a visual novel with actions and choices i could relate so much! it's really refreshing and i found myself seriously immersed in it! thank you so much for making it!! giving you one tight online hug!!<33

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank youuuu ^^ <3

Anonymous asked: HEHSHFS just found your tumblr and game and playing the demo for the first time and GOD this is just reinforcing how much i love needy whiney men

In this household we stan submissive and breedable men uwu (who can also confidently rail you in the restricted area of the library)

Anonymous asked: how does it feel to have created the best yandere in the history of yanderes? 🤭 i wanna thank you for spending so much time with us, answering all of our silly questions, you're so sweet ❤ and sorry for adding another one oops you dont have to reply just wanted you to know you're an amazing dev ❤

JFDKFJKFAFK You're so kind nonnie!! ;o; I love talking and interacting with y'all too! <3 Thank you for sending this in ^^

Anonymous asked: Just wanted to say to you that you're an amazing person and Im so thankful that you gave us some people to simp over! Im so excited to see more of the game! Stay awesome and be proud! 

Wahh thank you for the support!! <3 I'm glad you enjoy all of the characters aaa

Anonymous asked: I adore this game 🥺 I’d love to throw some money at you through itchio, but haha… my president is a freaking maniac and is doing a pretty good job at isolating my country right now, so I might have to wait a couple of years. I guess you have readers in the unlikeliest of places. I just wanted to say that your writing is very nice AND accessible for people whose first language isn’t English. This account makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, you’re so welcoming. It must take a lot of work. Please take breaks and don’t strain yourself 🙏🏻 

It's okay!! Keep your money! I'm just happy (and very blessed) to know that people genuinely enjoy the game! ^^ But thank you so much for the support, and I'm very sorry to hear that you're stuck with such a terrible president right now >.< I hope things will get better for you soon nonnie! ;v;

@whispereons asked: Hey I found your game and I adore everything about it. I've been inhaling all your 14day content and from what I know this is basically you riding solo AND doing college. You are amazing, even if you don't feel like it all the time, and we are all proud of you. My next ask will be for simping cause you deserve one just for how incredible you are.

JKAFAFKASJK Thank you sm!! ;w; I'm just happy to see that people love the content that I put out, even if it's not much right now ^^; But thank you for your support!! <3

Anonymous asked: I absolutely love how you use different colored phrases in your text. It's like I can hear these responses - intonation and all. P.S. Love your game and all the characters (especially Ren <3).

Ty!! I'm glad you picked up on it ^^ It's also really fun to do lmao But thank you for your kind words! <3

Anonymous asked: i’d just like to let you know that i love you and ur work and ur very funny and talented mwah mwah bye

nonnie pls come back our marriage is in shambles.... the kids miss you.......... (but fr thank you so much!!)

Anonymous asked: (¡Hi!, I really enjoyed the demo. I tried all the routes and even took some time to make the translation of the binary code that appears at the end of it (Was a nice touch), and I'm excited to see what's next with other days! :D U are doing a great work with the game!

aaaa thank you!! I hope translating the binary code was worth it because I can only imagine how much time it'd take to do that ^^; so I'm very sorry for wasting your time afasfaksf But ty for your kind words!!

@niyalibata asked: Okay but RenRen you can have me anytime like-    💗💗  I’m just absolutely in love I honestly just found your game for the first time *very* early this morning & I can’t begin to tell you the hold Ren’s had on me since 😭. As you’re the person behind my new hyper-fixation I will now hold you accountable for my lack of sleep (Jkjk) In all seriousness though I’m really glad I found your game & I hope that it continues to grow! I can tell you put a lot of love in it. Also I can’t wait to see more but make sure not to overwork/push yourself too hard! ♡ I don’t have a question just wanted to be thristy for Ren & drop some kind words lol

LMAO ren's got everyone in a chokehold rn :') But thank you so so much for this lovely message!! aaaaa ;v; I'm very honoured to be the one behind your new hyper-fixation, but plEASE GET SOME SLEEP SFJAKFKA

Anonymous asked: I love you and this game sooo much 😭 You're seriously so talented and amazing! aaaaaaaAaaaAAA!!!!

wahhh nonnie thank yoooouuuuuuu!!!!!!!! ;o; <3

Anonymous asked: I finally played the game and I love it!! I'm excited for more!!

I'm glad to hear that you loved the demo!! Thank you for your support <3

Anonymous asked: Unrelated but ILYSM SAINT you’re telling me you like, writing, yandere boys, FFXIV, AND DND!!! Please be my friend You are so perfect shahhshsusvsgs (I don’t mean this in a weird way I hope you are by no means uncomfortable I’m sorry)

nonnie we are getting married in FFXIV and DnD fr I'm not joking (i'm joking) Lmao but in all seriousness, it's so relieving(?) to know that there are others out there that share the same interests as me!! Feel free to jump back into my inbox and talk to me about them!! Tell me what you love about writing, yandere characters, ffxiv, or even dnd!! <3

[the-firebird69]

You supposed to do work for this lady it's really a trumpster he says the guy is annoying him so much because he's excited about the idea that he can't do it that's true too kind of saying it it's way over the top and he's a maniac too good morning survive the day and she knows you're right about something what a freak so we're saying this we don't like their style but we like our sun style and he'll say we're not going to do this Friday job but we are LOL and Ken knows what it means it's fireworks so she wants hernia and we got that but they're assholes okay it's way too much s*** from them you know we're going to town on them. She's going to try to blacklist him from doing side work which he already is and when he says is he wants me to do it but I just don't have the energy to overcome this f****** moron but he's already getting rid of himself so she's saying you're going to abandon this it says of course you're the ones bothering me and she says essentially true and you force me to raise my army y'all want this quick buck this fast dream and fantasy to come true cuz I'm supposed to be jonesing and I'm sitting here raising my army losing this dog s***. She got really mad ran around saying dumb s*** almost came up to him five times but saw her her father and grandfather or whatever taken with him Non-Stop seems like this huge f**** I can't stop the f****** queer even after killing him four or five times a day not personally would kill him but not personally killing him but s*** the guy dies all the time and she said it's probably too hot for me too and her son says we're going to have to ride it out and see what happens by Friday because you're going to need to pop on him or you going to pop honest to God this guy is killing his own people faster than anything and she said she knows but doesn't so you know you made the offer the agreement he's going along with it he's such a nap pupil it won't know which way it is. So she says this it might be fake but who cares is a job for a so little money and noticed he's trying to interfere with the bodybuilding stuff and everybody is getting some training and that guy is a fool. And she says this this is irresistible I have to mess this guy up in order to sit around Friday doing nothing waiting for no One like we always do because of this idiot grandfather was just a big child molester and loser she said it too he's using condoms all the time is a f** and he calls people tell somebody but and it was a joy and they try to do it and he hits them and she's going to turn evidence and mulch the guy said she said it's right it's just way too hot and the retard is going to spontaneously combust then he tried to get into like 10 different characters extra you said you think you're doing something by changing costume turn on exercising power not really. No infected you're infected I should know I have caused it because there's such a threat he's been around on us started screaming you did this to me I demand recompense said you don't know what it is and it shouldn't ask for it if you don't know what the word is and it got really mad so you have what is coming to you I'm going to do to you by the law put smiles and says yeah that and it's already happening in the trial now a lot of people after them and Becca said that's too many times he's a piece of s*** then a son is saying that's a piece of s*** bothering this s*** out of me but you know it's educational we're not forcing the loser to do it he's just a loser now he's going to get killed tonight and we're getting on to that now

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues

I agree with what you're saying you're going to make it look like you're going to go there and we can hear it already he has licking his chops they don't think you're afraid to get money going to try then it will fail it'll probably buy a tire and see if she paid him try and get the girls to do this stupid Stone it is they don't want to do anything didn't want to do any of the dumb work but my husband doesn't want to do it either it's real slap s*** and it's cuz this idiot Trump or Trump whatever his name is chump and that's what he is he's a loser man but he's right between the weight lifting and the job thing is too much coming from him

Hera

We did miss it alone a little and the guys called up and said you're not really paying attention cuz you're pissed off like we are but we want to help and they told me so look what he's doing just over the little s*** so we're tightening up on them and it's all of them and we're going to tear them apart right now they're losing their fleet they're going to start threatening humanity and it's their major move it's going to be real hard for them because of what they've been doing

Thor Freya

They had you do it Trump and you did too but you're wrong and they're wrong but they're forcing you to it's stupid there's not cover or helping them you're going to go out to their ships and it's Brian's master plan and he said it was cuz he's a loser and he's going to try and threaten me in society to grab people of ours meanwhile he's not even in the Midwest and we've been training the whole time for this very moment other groups are geared up to stop him and the max when I moved the planet out into the universe and you guys are talking about multiverse and stuff when you're idiots so the oppose you on this kind of thing and don't care for you but the whole thing is that you trained us and you're trying to switch gears you're losing your fleets on purpose and those guys are killing you and change your talk and motif that's very opposition there's still a bunch of them too so have a nice day

Hera Zues

Okay that's not cover anymore I got to tell you something he's ripped roaring mad and this is wrong and it's reasons like that and if you give a s*** and he's got bigger fish to fry than to worry about our retarded asses that are going to disappear soon because of ourselves he's right too your AI boy Trump and you ruined everything and it's because of other people you don't have it you know it

Olympus

[yuichi-ro]

stop giving me hanma brainrot again pleaseee i am begging u-

consider smol hanma having reader as his only childhood friend. no one he actively sought out- kids didn’t like them and stayed away from him mostly- but reader just walked up to him, one day after their classes have been merged, look up and down his lanky figure and loudly declared hanma to be your friend.

and he is just sooo confused- you don’t make him do all the dirty work and don’t use him for more than sometimes opening your juice packages. he trails after you like a lost guard dog, a little unsure about everything but also awkward because hey you said you were friends and he doesn’t want to loose his first friend but at the same time… what is a friend?

a friend is you sharing half of your lunch because he didn’t bring any again, a friend is him giving you piggy back rides to win the duo race in gym class, a friend is doing homework together which he mostly copies from you, a friend is him acting as a pillow so you can rest after a long and tiring day-

but as he grows older he has to ask himself- is that really just being a friend?

you still grab his hand and drag him along, cheerfully chatting about your day but had you always intertwined your and his hand together? did you always make sure to memorise the way he liked his food? the chapstick you would always bring and apply during winter because his lips would always get so horribly chipped?

maybe its not only a friend. maybe it is love too.

help i am whipped stop it please this is ur fault

i am such a sucker for the bullied x first friend trope;;; he just deserves someone who loves him mannn

-🌌

*laughs maniacally like Stich does when he emerges from his escape pod* If I'm having Hanma brainrot, I'm taking y'all down with me-

now consider, Hanma who's always been above the curve in size. He grew up hearing comments from family such as "He was just such a homely baby." "Oh he'll grow into his features...hopefully." "He's just a little tall is all, he'll play a sport of something what else is he gonna do?" It doesn't take the kids in pre-k teasing him for his too short uniform or getting called a teacher all the time for him to realize classmates are just repeating an almost identical sentiment to what he hears at home. Hanma knows he's a freak, family made sure to let him realize that long before the nit picking kids in his class did the same thing.

then you happened. And happened fast. You had no reason to include the weird leggy kid at your color station. You had no real reason to extend an olive branch to him at all. But your offer is so warm, so confusing, so...not what everyone else does. When you offer him your very cool collection of markers and stationary to color with, well, Hanma asks why. And if more than a little startled to hear you say that's what friends do.

do friends really come as easy as the bullies do?

he looks out of sorts through every single grade you both graduate into. From kindergarten to middle school to high school. He still remains a head taller than you and the rest of the class throughout. And still the target for any nasty comments that go from juvenile and reparative questions about his size to downright nasty comments about his bony joints, how he can't seem to put on any muscle and that the rest of the boys in the class think he looks like an un datable freak none of the girls would ever talk to. Are they wrong though? So far they've been right in all their accusations, so what haven't you understood about that? And why do you allow him to follow you around like a lost puppy throughout all these years...

still you sit with him at lunch. Still you pack an extra snack for him even though you're going to cram school and he's going to go do something he'll regret later. Still you can't get the tab on your soda open and now you hand it off to without even trying to open it bc he's been opening your drinks so long he forgot when it all started. Still you show up at his house like he's going to sit down and study with you even if he's puffing on a cigarette blowing it out his bedroom window telling you he's just going to drop out there's no point in going. But...still he hasn't dropped out.

Hanma still goes to school. Still thanks you for the snack you packed him. Still opens your drink like it's second nature or listens to you go on about study work even if he isn't going to use it. Still follows you around with his hands stuffed in his pockets as you both graduate grade after grade.

he could have dropped out at any point. Should have dropped out at any point. And yet here he is. Watching you try to open the seal on your jelly treat. Knowing its his favorite flavor and not yours. But you got it with the intent to share so how silly of him of course you'd pick up his favorite. Or the way you swung his hand while you crossed the bridge over to the mart that you stopped by to pick up the treat. When did you even start holding his hand?

when his brows knit together and he's staring at your hand beside you because you're fiddling with your phone. Jelly snack gone but here you still are. He can't help but reach out and take your hand. Expecting you to pull away, act like the rest of the kids he grew up around, do something that would validate him feeling like a looser. But you don't. Of course you don't. It's almost second nature for you to lace your fingers together before you even look over at him. Brimming with a smile as you jiggle your hands up between the two of you before doing something stupid like licking his knuckles or anything else impulsive. Asking if he wants to get another jelly from the mart since it's a Friday.

Hanma doesn't really know what to say. He's never really known what to say. To you of all people. The only person who's decided you were friends before he knew what a friend was. And as you drag him out of his room. Leaving both your phones behind and his pack of smokes. Hanma has to wonder, if this isn't just friendship anymore.

[halsteadlover]

𝐈𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲?

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested: No.

• Summary: After the mysterious disappearance of some of his hoodies, Jay finally discovers who the thief is.

• Warnings: None.

• Word count: 1601.

• A/N: Hiii besties how are y'all? Hope everyone is doing great. I wrote this few days ago and I thought I could post it while working on a request. Let me know what you think and if I should change something. Sending so much love to every single one of you, stay safe out there. 💞

You were at your long time boyfriend's house, your head on his lap as both of you rested on his couch, your body covered with a duvet. Jay's attention was fully directed to the hockey match on tv. You knew nothing, and you mean nothing, could distract him when his favourite team was playing. He cursed when the opposing team scored, making you giggle as you kept looking at him. He was hilarious when he was grumpy.

God he was so handsome, even with that frown on his face. His brows were slightly furrowed as his beautiful green were glued on the tv. You didn't have fun during these games, God you hated hockey, but at least you had a chance to look at him without him opposing, since he hated being stared at.

You had a stupid smile on your face as your eyes were on him. He was wearing a black hoodie and a pair of gray sweatpants and he looked exactly like a freaking model straight out of a magazine. How could he look so good without even trying?

Damn, I look like a garden gnome compared to him.

The thought made you giggle.

“What?” Jay asked as he heard you. He gave you a confused look before immediately returning his eyes to the tv.

“Nothing” you answered, smiling, continuing to look at him. Damn, he was so focused he didn't even realize you were staring at him like a maniac. You couldn't help it tho, he was so good looking. And he was yours. It was hard to believe sometimes, that this sexy and handsome man loved you, wanted you. You felt so lucky.

You felt a flock of butterflies in your stomach and your heartbeat increased as Jay leaned slightly over you and kissed you on the lips, giving you a lovely smile before returning his attention on the game.

You sighed, satisfied and completely in love.

His right hand was gently stroking your hair while the other one held a bottle of beer. You looked at him as he raised the bottle to his lips and took a sip of beer.

A shiver ran through your body, the cold making you slightly tremble. This was the main reason you hated Chicago, the winter was unbearable and it didn't matter if the heaters were on or how many blankets you covered youself with, you'd still be frozen.

“Oh baby you're shivering,” Jay said “Come here.”

He hugged you as he could given the position you were, tucking up the duvet around your body, taking care to cover your shoulders. Jay took the opportunity to kiss you on the forehead.

“Better?” he asked, his eyes now on you.

“Actually I think I'll grab another blanket” you said, taking off the duvet and sitting on the couch. Another shiver ran through your body.

“Stay here, I'll grab one” Jay said. He was about to get up but you stopped him by placing a hand on his arm.

“No it's okay, besides I have to go the bathroom too”.

He looked at you and nodded, giving you a little smile. You kissed him on the lips before standing up and walking away. You glanced at him before entering his room, noticing he was again focused on the match.

“Hi...”

You almost felt your heart come out of your chest as you heard Jay's voice behind you. You turned to him only to see him laughing his ass off.

“Jesus Christ Jay! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!” you blurted out, closing the closet doors and facing him now.

“I'm sorry babe I didn't mean to scare you that bad,” he said a smirk on his lips as he looked at you “What are you doing here?”.

“Grabbing some blankets?”

“You know they are not here” he stated, one eyebrow raised as he looked at you with a knowing espression. He knew why you were there, he just wanted you to admit it. You knew you got busted but despite that you continued to act like you didn't know what he was talking about.

“Oh... I really thought they were here.”

His green eyes scanned your body from had to toe, his lips pressed together as he was trying not to smile. You were about to leave the room like nothing happened when he spoke again.

“Is that my hoodie baby?”.

You murmured a ‘fuck’ before turning to him, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Would you believe it if I said no?”.

“Are you serious?” he asked, trying not to laugh.

“What are you even doing here Jay? You are supposed to watch the match”.

“This happens to be my room Y/N” he stated taking a step towards you “I set you up baby”.

“What are you talking about?” you asked with a fake confused expression.

“What I just said” he said “You're a hoodie thief and you just got busted.”

Your mouth droppen open in false shock as if he said the worst of allegations and as if you weren't really wearing his hoodie. “No I'm not! I'm really offended right now.”

“So you're really pretending that's not my hoodie you're wearing?”.

“Exactly. You have to get checked babe, you're hallucinating now.”

“I can't believe you're denying it.”

“I'm not denying anything. This...” you said pointing the hoodie you were wearing “Is mine baby.”

“Oh... So the Hawks' and the gray one that mysteriously disappeared from my closet and magically appeared in yours are your property too, right?”

“Yes?” you stated, trying your best to not to laugh.

“You hate hockey! Why would you even have a Hawks' hoodie?”.

Oh. Yeah... This was a fair good point.

You smiled and blinked innocently as you keep looking at him. “I guess it's an incredible coincidence”.

“Stop it” Jay said slowly approaching you “You're a hoodie thief.”

Your heartrate increased realizing how close he was to you. It wasn't long before you found yourself completely lost in his eyes. God they were so bright and beautiful.

“You have no proof baby”. You noticed how hard he was trying to not to smile.

“I literally just saw you wearing my hoodie” he said, an eyebrow raised. You snorted, putting on the cutest puppy face you were capable of. “No, stop”.

“Babyyy”.

“No. Stop it right now. I'm made of stone” he said, taking his eyes off from you and focusing his gaze on a random spot on the ceiling. He really needed to be tough but it was so hard for him when you were being this cute.

“Babe look at me” you said giggling, wrapping your hands around his torso while looking at him still with puppy eyes.

Jay took a deep breath letting out a small whine as his arms spontaneously encircled your body. When his eyes returned to yours, he almost melted in them. It didn't matter how many times he looked at you, you always gave him the exact same effect. Looking into your eyes was like being given a punch on the stomach, it always took his breath away.

“C'mom baby you can't do this to me... You know I can't resist you” he whined, his eyes closed while hugging you tightly. He gave you a kiss on the top of your head, inhaling the scent of your hair that drove him so crazy, and one on your lips.

You giggled, lifting yourself slightly on tiptoe to give him a kiss on his neck which he reacted by shivering. His reaction made you smirk, you always knew how to get him.

“I know you're just trying to distract me Y/N but you're not going anywhere till you'll tell me why you keep stealing my hoodies when you literally have a full closet.”

“I don't know, they are just big and comfy.”

“I know this is not the main reason. C'mon baby tell me.”

You took a deep breath, unsure whether to say it or not. It was embarrassing to admit it.

“So?” he asked again, noticing your silence. He gently grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefinger, causing you to slightly raise your head so he could look into your eyes.

“It's stupid...”

“Nothing that your pretty mouth says is stupid.”

You snorted. “It's beacuse they smell like you and I... I like to wear them and think about you.”

Jay couldn't hold back the huge smile that appeared on his lips. God, how could you say something so beautiful and think it was stupid?

Without even thinking about it, he crushed his lips into yours. He kissed you with so much passion and sweetness, as if he wanted to express in that way all the love he felt for you.

When you pulled away you were both out of breath, your chest rising and falling quickly.

“God baby I love you so much you know that right?” he said giving you more kisses while cupping your face with his hands, his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks.

“So it's not stupid?”

“What? No! Absolutely not. This is sweetest thing I've ever heard.”

You smiled, giving him another kiss.

“You know what babe? You can take all the clothes you want, even socks, they look better on you anyway”.

“Ew I won't take your socks, I don't want to smell your dirty feets” you said with a look of disgust on your face, both of you bursting out laughing.

“I love you so much Y/N, please never change” he whispered, his face close to yours.

“I love you too Jay, so much.”

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[dannyphantom-rewrite]

Timekeeper's assistants AU

Alright y'all! This is gonna be my info dump post for the Timekeepers assistant Au- buckle up cause it's gonna be a long one!

Inspired by @queendibz post here

The entire purpose of the assistant squad is to keep all the time lines running smoothly- this can range from stopping a world ending event to making sure things misplaced by natural ghost portals get put back into the right time and place.

So First up on the crew list,

Dan:

-Dan definitely isn't a homicidal maniac anymore but he's not 100 percent "redeemed" either.

-I mean he's probably still a bit of sadist but he tries not to be?

-The best description I can give is that he's in recovery, basically.

-So, Clockwork knew that Dan would eventually bust out of the thermos just because it wasn't built to hold a ghost of his power level for a prolonged period of time. But beyond that?? He has no idea about anything in regards to Dan. Since Dan's creation was averted, his timeline doesn't exist anymore. He's a paradox that exists outside of time, and unfortunately, that means he's the one entity in the multiverse that exists in Clockwork's blindspot. There's no way for him to know what Dan's going to do next.

-Anyway, Dan eventually breaks out of the thermos fully intending to Fuck Shit Up, And Clockwork makes a point of informing him that if he leaves the clock tower he will cease to exist. (Like Dan, the tower exists outside of time, so he's safe there.)

-Dan is the first member of the assistant squad. Granted, it took a while for him to come around to the idea of helping Clockwork but he got there eventually.

-Dan is an entity that was born out of the rage and grief of two very broken people and he has so much shit he's working through as a result

-One of the first things he had to do was recognize and accept that he's an entity that's completely separate from Vlad and Danny. He might have all their memories and the weight of their mistakes on his shoulders, and on top of that, the atrocities he himself committed because of them. The first step is realizing that he doesn't have to be defined by the people that made him.

-It's a really fucking difficult thing to do tho and he's got a lot of weird emotions in regards to Vlad, Danny and the Fentons as a result. A near constant identity crisis, self loathing, daddy issues, something that could arguably be called an Oedipus complex, (FUCKING THANKS, VLAD)

-Cannot stand the smell of fast food, it makes him nauseous and the sight of Nasty Burger sauce alone is enough to make him vomit Ectoplasm.

-He's just a hot mess all around y'all

-He tries to keep his interactions with the Danny's as minimal as possible at first bc of this. The first time he meets them in person he shape shifts into Danny like he did in TUE and just pretends to be one of them. Some of them have had interactions with their respective Dan's already and would be super wary of him and probably pretty freaked out otherwise.

-Dan is eventually allowed to leave the clocktower for supervised "Field missions" with the aid of a time medallion to keep him from poofing out of existence, but it takes a while for clockwork to build up that level of trust.

-Dan's shapeshifting ability Actually comes into play a bit on a lot of those missions, since he can Mimic Danny it also makes sense that he'd be able to impersonate Vlad in the same way. Granted he's not incredibly comfortable taking on either of their appearances but it does help him hone his shapeshifting ability to the point where he's able to pick and choose features from both Vlad and Danny and sorta make his own human disguise.

-Most of the time he acts as the eye in the sky from the tower, monitoring for timeline anomalies and then notifying the appropriate member of the assistant squad.

-He has a room under the clock tower that he operates from. I kinda like the idea of there being like, catacombs down there? Anyway he's got all kinds of monitors and view screens and he very rarely leaves. It also doubles as his "living space." He doesn't need to sleep but he's got a big mess of a pillow fort that he crashes in regardless bc sometimes you just NEED to be unconscious for a while. The catacombs are also absolutely full of those little blob ghosts that wander around the zone bc They're attracted to the ecto energy the tower gives off. He's really annoyed by them at first but they grow on him after a while and now he just dotes on them.

-There's a specific throw pillow sized one that likes to hang out in Dan's room a lot and he ended up getting a little over attached to the stupid thing. His name is Dorian. Bc he's a gift.

-SIR THATS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BLOB

-Dan's appearance has changed slightly. He wears his hair loose now and it's kinda just this big fiery mane when it's not contained. His cape is more of a cloak now, it has a hood and he wears it sorta pinned together at the shoulder so the DP logo is covered.

-Dan's relationship with the rest of the Danny's is kinda weird, and a little strained. He has a hard time being around them for very long because, well, he used to sort of be them? Except not really? He does care about them tho, and the last thing he'd want is for one of them to end up like him.

-His relationship with clockwork definitely starts out pretty familial, after he becomes his assistant, anyway. There's room for that to develop into meddling minutes but I'm not entirely sure if I'm gonna go that route yet.

-The Danny's only ever hear his voice for a while before he finally let's them meet him for real, so they end up calling him Charlie for a while as a joke. Cause Ya know. Charlie's angels. Even after Charlie still ends up being his designated name on missions.

Mer! Danny:

-Was recruited bc a lot of the shit that gets sucked through natural portals ends up in a body of water somewhere and when that happens he's on call to retrieve it.

-Is Actually not at all ghostly! Mer Danny's situation is basically the plot of H2O (just add water), or if you haven't seen that, Aquamarine. And by that I mean he's only a merfolk in water.

-He's an electric eel

-His Jack and Maddie are marine biologists, with a particular interest in marine cryptids

-We're taking sea monsters baby!!!

-Not entirely sure how this Danny ended up half mer yet but I'll figure it out, lmao.

-14 years old

-His nickname/ designation is "Moray"

Crown Prince! Danny:

-Nickname/designation is Prince / Princey

-16 years old

-Not allowed to go anywhere in the zone without the Fright knight bc of some ancient ghost law bullshit, so he has a constant babysitter.

-He's next in line bc he sealed away Pariah, but can't take the throne until he is both, A) at least 18 years and B) Completely deceased

-Vlad is his Regent bc he did have a part in the whole sealing the previous king thing, but he's also not completely dead so his power is super limited there.

-As Prince Danny has the crown of fire in his ghost form, although now the name is kinda ironic seeing as it's completely frozen over. It's blue now and it smokes like dry ice.

-As Regent, Vlad has the ring of rage for "safe keeping"

-Vlad and Danny are pretty much constantly at each other's throats, fright knights probably had to shut down more than a few of Vlad's attempts to usurp the crown from Danny through combat.

-Princey deals with the timeline issues that involve the ghost zones' internal / political affairs, and he's gotten very well versed with dealing with the Observants.

Winged! Danny :

-15 years old

-Mallard duck wings

-His Vlad is a swan

-Comes from a family of waterfowl, Jack is a goose, and Maddie is a white swan. Both he and jazz are ducks bc of their grandparents.

-As Fenton his wings are white, like jazz, and as phantom they turn black with a green iridescent sheen.

-He's trans

-Nickname/ designation is inviso Bill. Bc ducks have bills haha get it-

-Ghostly wail?? Nah son he's gotta killer QUACK

-Absolute besties with Mer!Danny/ Moray, sometimes they go swimming together after a mission.

Clone! Danny:

-Physically he's a 12-year-old, but he's only been alive for a few months.

-Alt universe where Vlad manages to stabilize the perfect clone with his own DNA.

-Dani still exists, and the original danny from his time line also rescued the other problematic clones.

-Doesnt like the fact that he's a clone, and very much wants them all DEAD. Bc them running around is a reminder that he's not the real danny.

-Human half looks the same aside from the widows peak and the mallen streak. His ghost half takes after plasmius. Blue skin, and the Hazmat kept it's original white colors.

-Probably has fangs and a forked tounge.

-Not so much a member of the squad as he is someone that they need to be keeping an eye on.

-Does NOT get along with them.

-Dan enjoys making him uncomfortable.

-Designation is Masters / the brat (not to his face tho)

Family Breakfast AU! Danny:

-A BABY

-The boy is a fucking overpowered todler okay. He's an 8 year old.

-The biological son of his Vlad, was born a Halfa. Jack, Vlad and Maddie got their shit together and are in a healthy poly relationship.

-Got separated from Vlad one time in the zone and inadvertently adopted by the assistant squad and clockwork.

-His Vlad is aware of the squad and just. Dad's the crap out of the Danny's as a result. It makes for some..... interesting interactions.

-I can't think of a nickname so I'm just gonna be lazy and say he gets to be the one Tru Danny bc cute little kind privileges lmao.

Full ghost! Danny:

-15 years old, will always look 14.

-Nickname/designation is Toast

-Died in the portal accident and got fucking FRIED.

-He always smells like somethings burning.

-He's really bright and sorta sparks a bit, you can see his bones glowing through the hazmat.

-He still leave the zone to protect his version of amity, but lives with clockwork full time.

Canon Danny (NOT PHANTOM PLANET COMPLIANT) :

-Basically show Danny, except phantom planet never happened fuck you

-Joined the crew after the events of de stabilized

-Also he's trans fuck butch

-Franken! Danny

-Yall remember that Headless Danny Au? This is my take.

-Is Actually 20 years old, but physically stuck at age 14. Bc he's a walking corpse :)

-Came from a timeline that was directly parallel to Full ghost! Danny. He dies in the portal accident, but jack and Maddie are in the lab when it happens and manage to sort of bring him back using a combination of science and freaky ghost junk.

-So he's basically possessing/ stuck inside of his own dead body. Which, is thankfully not rotting or going into rigor mortis bc Ectoplasm is rather similar to formaldehyde, but he's not the most durable thing and bits and pieces fall off from time to time.

-Like his head. For example.

-He's pretty desensitized to it at this point and if he loses a leg after a ghost fight he doesn't see anything wrong with sitting down on the curb of a main street to stich it back on. His being dead isn't exactly a secret.

-Don't ever ask him to "give you a hand" bc he can and will not hesitate to pop one off and Chuck it at you.

-Said hand and any other body part will continue to function just fine even if it isn't attached to anything, btw.

-Nickname/ designation is Adam. Bc. Ya know. that's the name Frankenstein's monster gave itself.

Post Phantom Planet! Danny:

-A very jaded 22 year old who is driven only by spite and enough caffeine to kill a horse

-Very, very tired of the hero thing.

-Being a global celebrity isn't all it's cracked up to be.

-Decided to follow Vlads lead and fuck off to space for a while. Partially to get away from everyone and also partially bc he kinda feels responsible for the fact that the only other person like him and probably floating DEAD in the void somewhere? And yeah Vlad fucked up all on his own but what if he'd tried harder to get through to him things could have been different-

-Joins the crew after a natural portal opens up in space and decides to help out and use clockworks resources to try and track down his Vlad.

-Nickname/ Designation is Polaris, aka the north star.

[1-800-hellraiser]

Hey lad can you make a Yandere David Headcanons you know from Camp Camp?

Ofc! I put this into a oneshot bc I feel bad for not givving y'all enough content recently:")

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Requested by: Sam Clumsy (On Tumblr)

Image Credit: Mommy 🐇 on Pinterest 

Words: 1,131

Aged up: Nope

Song: Saccharine - Jazmin Bean

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Yan!David x Reader

!TWS!: Yandere/obsessive behavior, mentions of murder, gore, and swearing

(A/n: I'm so sorry this is so late y'all. Not only am I busy with school, but I got sick and now I'm behind :") But its okay! I'm getting better, and I hope updates will be more frequent :))

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"Everything you do, I'm obsessed with you. I don't mean to scare, but you're just so cute."

      You've been seeing David for how long now? Four months? You and David met at a bar, the poor guy was sobbing with a shirley temple in one hand, and a crumbled picture of a woman and him in the other. You assumed this to be his ex. You sat down next to him, asking him if you could buy him a drink. You've been in the same position before, so you could empathize with him. He nodded his head and you bought him a light alcoholic drink, because just by looking at him, you know he's very lightweight. 

       And that brings you to today, driving over to his house. You wanted to inquire about your best friend, Fraser, suddenly going missing after he sent you some...worrying messages. For example "David is fucking insane" and "I'm pretty sure he knows we talk, and he doesn't like us talking. I know what he's going to do." You did get some weird vibes off of him when you two hung out more and more. He seemed very obsessive and controlling, like he didn't want you talking to anyone except him. And only him.

     Although you brushed off this strange behavior, maybe he was clinging onto someone he just met because the love of his life just dumped him? You don't know, but that's how you rationalize it. You pull into the driveway of a white house with burgundy shutters, David's house. You get out of your car and hesitantly knock on the door. You stand and wait for a couple minutes then knock again. This time, when you knocked, the door opened ajar. You peek into the house through the crack in the door and see bloody footprints going down the hall. You gasp silently and rush into the house, not even bothering to take your shoes off. 

       Following the trail of footprints, you find yourself standing in front of the bathroom. You can hear soft humming coming from inside. You open the door to reveal a blood-soaked David, washing his hands of the crimson liquid in the now lightly dyed porcelain sink. "Oh Y/n! It's pleasant of you to stop by~" he purrs with a sinister tone. Your eyes go wide and you hand instinctively covers your mouth as you back away. "D-david, what the fuck did you do?" You manage to say, still shocked and now terrified. "Oh, I took care of some...business." he chuckles darkly, giving you a ominously lusty look. You gulp, trying to force out more words. "What does that mean?" You say, finally getting over your initial shock and now into full blown fear. 

      "Lets just say...Fraser won't be bothering you anymore, love~" he laughs maniacally. You cover your mouth with your hand and step backwards as David steps closer. You become nauseous at the smell of human rot and blood that David wears instead of his usual pine and campfire smoke. You resist the urge to scream when he cups your face with his bloody hand, knowing it will only make things worse for you. "Oh darling, you can scream if you want to." David says, as he leans in really close to your hear. "I love it when you scream~" he purrs into your hear, you manage to swallow the lump in your throat and try to shove him off of you.

      No matter how hard you shove, David doesn't budge. You use your last resort effort and manage to pull out your pocket knife and cut his cheek. He drops his lustful look for a more guilty and shocked one. He puts his hand to the cut and winces when his hand makes contact with it. "Honey, why would you do that..?" He whispers, looking like a kicked puppy. "You fucking killed Fraser David! Then you started coming at me, I got scared!" Your voice cracked as you yelled.

      Tears form in your eyes, David immediately feels regret and guilt. "I'm sorry sweetheart..." he says, holding you in a gentle embrace. You shoved him away. "Get away from me you freak!" You yell as you sprint to the front door. David gets up and yells for you to wait and stop. You don't listen, when your hand graces the door handle, something hits the back of your head really hard. Your vision goes dark as you pass out. David sighs, he really didn't want to have to do this. But you gave him no choice. 

      David hoists your unconscious body over his shoulder and carries you downstairs to his basement. His basement is rank, and smells of mothballs. His basement is full of random things and junk. David moves a tall cardboard box out of the way to reveal a rusty door. He opens the door to a long, dimly lit hallway with another door at the end. He walks up to the other door and opens it. It leads to another room that smell less rank.  The room has a medieval dungeon type theme. A black chandelier hangs from the ceiling, handcuffs and chains hang from the walls.

      A pole sits in the middle of the room along with an oddly comfortable looking chair. A black chest sits at the back if the room. Its filled with rope and other...items. He starts to hum a campfire song as he works. He sits your body up on the chair and goes to the aforementioned chest and pulls out some red rope. He ties up your body snugly to the pole. After he's done, he admires his work. After that, David shuts the door and locks it. Then he shuts the other door and locks it. He puts everything back into place and goes upstairs to finish cleaning up his mess. 

       A couple hours later, you wake up and immediately start screaming for help. A couple minutes later, David bursts into the room. "What happened dear?!" He says frantically . "DAVID YOU FUCKING WHORE WHY AM I HERE?!" You scream at him, he chuckles nonchalantly. "What do you mean darling? You're right where you're meant to be~" David says, that chuckle turning into maniacal laughter. You then realized that you're probably never going to escape him.  

[nostalgic-pancakes]

F is for friends who do stuff together - the awake at 2 AM remix

Joan needs a swear jar, Talyn's a lightbulb, Valerie is tired and valid, and Thomas+Sides are very confused)

Summary- Thomas has had his sides around for... a long time. That's for sure. And he knows that nobody else can see them (except maybe Lilly, but she has sides too, so).

Pairings- Pintroverts, Thomas and friends, Thomas and Sides

Read on AO3

Word count- 2666

Warnings- It has character!everyone, and NOT their real life counterparts. Please remember this.

Other notes- AU where instead of Vine, c!Thomas left chemical engineering for signing with a really dope theatre company with his friends. He still meets Nico at the mall, but Nico's a new writer for the company! All the sides are friends too! Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look, the first time was an accident, okay? Joan was tired and a bit incoherent and what was Thomas supposed to do?!! Leave them be? No! So Joan ended up staying the night.

Except, the next morning was when everyone had entered the courtroom together and they'd gotten WAY too dramatic over whether to lie to them about a text they'd made like… two days ago and that Thomas had only seen after combing through a barrage of memes and that Joan probably wouldn't remember, come to think about it. But that was hindsight and after the utter nightmare that was a whole day (A whole day!!) with Aunt Patty the day before, Virgil and Patton were absolutely freaking out, probably giving Deceit (Who, in hindsight, Thomas knows as Janus) a little extra leeway into the conversation that day.

Either way, Joan had stayed the night in order to recover from the utter sleep-deprivation that they'd been going through, and Thomas had forgotten about the fact that Joan was even there for most of the morning, only seeing them after the entire courtroom spectacle (and a suspiciously dire warning from Virgil) at breakfast, and them leaving to see Talyn a little after (with plenty of hugs involved, duh).

Then Thomas told Joan the truth over the call, and Joan had said The Line (as Roman, Virgil and Janus call it with an oddly cryptid-like voice) and Thomas felt himself go frigid.

Since when did Joan know that Thomas talked to his sides?! Had they learned their names? Figured out that Thomas might just have a few extra screws loose than they might have initially thought?

"Maybe they even hate us now because we got so crazed over one little text and--”

“Virgil. Not helping!” Thomas yelps, and Virgil catches himself in his spiel of worst case scenarios, looking a bit sheepish. Patton and Thomas smile at him reassuringly (he hopes) and Logan clears his throat, causing everyone to turn to him.

“Well, Joan seems to be aware enough of the fact that you speak to us, but mostly considers it as you, as they had said, ‘talking to yourself’, and besides, you didn’t name-drop us too many times, anyways. And while it’s not really...ideal, that Joan thinks you talk to yourself for this long-”

“You can say that again, Stephen Hawk-Nerd”, murmured Roman. Logan winces, and Thomas kind of wants to hug him, so he does.

“Yes, Roman, and as bad as that nickname is, note that this is not, in fact a worst-case scenario. This can be put down to the fact that Thomas has some strange personality quirks-”

“Did you just do some wordplay there, kiddo?” Patton beams at the implication, while Logan, currently being shared by Thomas and Virgil, just groans and descends further into the contact.

“No, I did not, Patton, but what I am saying, is that this is not too bad. We can talk about it as a general personality quirk. This is fine.” Logan finishes, and becomes a heap in the total hug-pile of Thomas and Virgil, flopping over. Huh, he (as usual) has a point. Maybe this can work.

The second time was a pretty near miss, but once again, it was unexpected! He and the sides were just watching Mulan together as usual! They were piled up together, blankets in hand, and yeah, it might look weird to anyone who can’t see the sides, he guesses, with the blankets stretched out in places that have nothing to stretch onto, but once again, he wasn't expecting someone to come over! But anyways- whatever happens, happens. He's trying to be better about it.

It really doesn't stop Janus from pulling out all the stops (teaming up with Virgil, even!) when it comes to having to come up with an alibi to Terrence over why the blankets are arranged so strangely, even though there is literally nothing keeping it afloat. In the end, it's not the most believable lie, but Terrence is busy with Valerie just after, so he probably doesn't really think about it too hard. Besides, Thomas has always been a pretty quirky guy! ("Which could be an insul--" "Jack and Sullen, we love you very very much, but please, for the love of all things Disney, please breathe and take out your fidget cube..") So hey, what was a new quirk when added to everything else?

Meanwhile, Terrence is trying to figure out what the fuck he just saw, because he's pretty sure that there were more than one Thomas there, and Thomas only has two other brothers. Also none of them dress like twenties mobsters or are semi-transparent.

Nico was having a good day. In fact, he still is!

He and his (amazing) boyfriend were sitting on the couch- though more draped on top of each other than anything while binge watching ELITE and Tiny Pretty Things, while also being pleasantly high (as opposed to stoned).

Things only entered strange territory when during one of the flashback murder-y scenes in Tiny pretty Things, a strange man who looked like an even more chaotic Thomas with some grey hair on him entered the room from seemingly nowhere, and proceeded to occupy the sparse space on Thomas’s lap with his head, essntially just napping on his boyfriend’s lap while also being kind of see-through (???!!!???AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH). Thomas noticed, waved a small wave and started playing with this weird guy’s hair.

Nico is now a little high from the bong that he and Thomas had shared, but not enough to hallucinate, especially since, when the high was pretty much gone, the guy was STILL THERE. MIERDA. At this point, he’s just going to call it ghosts. Thomas doesn’t seem to mind too much anyways, so they must not be harmful. Nico decides to table this for another day and go back to binge watching crazy maniacs with his very soft and warm boyfriend, and let the remainder of the high coast along.

"We have to talk about the Thomas thing." Is the first thing Joan says without any bullshit, as soon as everyone except Thomas himself, Gavin (because it's two AM) and Quil are packed together in Thomas's living room, where he just binged Parks and Rec with everyone. They've all finally managed to shove Thomas and Quil back to their respective areas of sleep after 42 hours without said sleep, and nobody was allowed to talk loud enough for them to wake up.

"The… Thomas thing?" Asks Valerie. Oh that sweet summer child. Joan once again quietly calls everyone's attention by asking Talyn to shake their hair around like a neon-coloured alarm bell. This was especially effective in the otherwise dark kitchen where they were trying out glow in the dark hair dye.

"Well, as of lately, we've been seeing a lot, and I mean a lot of really weird shit coming from Thomas. Everyone, recount your experiences." Joan says in the most serious voice they've got. "I'll go first."

They wave their hands like Matt Mercer, as if they were setting up a dope DND campaign. Quietly, of course.

"Well, about a month ago now, I was cleaning here, at Thomas's, because I was sleep-deprived and would have crashed and died if I'd tried to go back to mine and Talyn's. So most of the night goes normally, as one would expect, but when I wake up in the morning…" Joan readjusts their beanie. "I hear Thomas in the living room, talking to people called Logan, Roman, someone called Pat, Virgil and 'deceit'. And this debate becomes an ordeal, alright? He re-enacts a whole entire ace-attorney style courtroom scene with these imaginary people? I called him out on it over the phone when he apologized for some random thing- I don't remember, and he kind of just… admitted that he talks to himself? And moved on.

Everyone absorbs this new information. Camden keeps braiding Talyn's hair.

"But that's not too big of a deal, right Joan?" Whispers Camden, tying up the elaborate mini fishtail plait in Talyn's hair. "I mean, thanks Thomas we're talking about. He could have been rehearsing or something- isn't he JD in the next production of Heathers?"

Terrence speaks up next. "Yes, this would have been all well and good, had the Blanket Incident ™ not occured."

Valerie shakes her head. Why are her friends like this? Oh wait. They’re all theatre nerds, queer and D&D players.

"In the blanket incident ™, I was walking past Thomas's room, as one does. HOWEVER, while he was watching Mulan, I noticed something wrong with his blanket pile!"

"What, that they don't have any Vetal Miking references on them? Because that's the true tragedy here."

"Nope, sorry Tal, the weirdness here was not about Vetal Miking references, but the fact that parts of the blanket were freaking floating, in thin air! I have discreet pictures!"

"What the fuck, Terrence." whispered everyone in a strange, haunting unison that could only be possible at two AM as they saw the very strange pictures.

"And that's not it!" Pipes up Talyn, who is now realising that they are very close to becoming too loud for 2 AM kitchen chats, and makes an effort to quiet down.

"At breakfast today, Thomas's waffles were making themselves- Thomas can't cook, y'all. And he can't even use is fucking waffle iron. And he was on the other side of the room! Talking to Quil!" After Quil left, he told the waffle creator to chill out because the stack was getting too tall!"

"Is this about Thomas's ghosts, guys?" Asks Nico, the new cute boyfriend and new theatre company writer as he plops down in Quil's usual spot. Nico's nice- everyone likes Nico except maybe Nico, to which, well, mood. ALSO- ghosts?!!

"Nico what the fuck do you mean by ghosts, you serial killer in training?"

"One, just because I have to write a serial killer in this new script and I'm enjoying it, it doesn't mean I'm gonna be a serial killer, you tonte. Two: yeah, the ghosts that follow him around and look just like him? They seem nice enough." At everyone's super unspoken request to elaborate, for fuck's sake, he takes the hint and does.

“Oh! So the first time I saw them, I was at the mall. You know, where Thomas and I met?” everyone nods, and Talyn readjusts their braces.

“So there was this guy in a hoodie- Virgil, as you said, and the Disney prince. Roman, I think. And they were just kind of… there? Roman was holding Virgil’s shoulder affectionately, and that’s about it. They were only really visible after about three or four hours of us talking, though.” Some of the people hum.

“Then, we were watching a movie and these two guys who also look a lot like Thomas just kind of lounged? On the couch? They were pretty faint, like if their brightness was decreased to about thirty percent in Photoshop.”

“Hey, same!” says Terrence.

“Yeah, so those guys- the one in the green t-shirt that has the legs on the bus meme- so weird- kind of just stretches onto Thomas’s lap and stays there, while the twenties mobster just… curls up to his side? And thomas is probably like, used to this because he kind of just lets it be and curls the meme shirt-”

“I think it’s Remus.”

“-Remus’s hair absentmindedly and moves on.”

“Fuck.” Whispered Joan very softly, but with great feeling.

“So what do we do about it?” asks Camden. There, finally, someone asks the real questions.

“Well,” puts forward Talyn. “They’re not harming him, right? And he’s had them around for a long enough time, right? So what’s the harm? Thomas is just haunted and will probably be on Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural at some point when he dies but hey, if he’s cool with it, we are too.”

Everyone seems to agree with that, and they’re in comfortable silence, until Valerie asks everyone to go the fuck to sleep, we’re still doing the Heather’s costume rehersals and Death Week starts in two days. With groans and cracked joints from Talyn, everyone hobbles off to their respective rooms in the duplex.

Meanwhile, a certain white-streaked side and his hoodied companion are listening through the wall, far away from what anyone can see, and they both visibly sigh in relief. That didn’t go too badly. The question remains: what do we do now?

“They KNOW????” exclaims Thomas, the next day in the (thankfully empty) breakroom, in between rehearsals- Candy Store is being run through and that means that everyone else is outside.

“Yes, Thomas, they know. Or they somewhat know, I suppose.”

“Yeah, because they think we’re-Thomas is being HAUNTED!!’

“Are you not haunted, then?” comes a voice, and Thomas turns around, forgetting to let the sides dissipate in his surprise. It’s Nico, with Talyn and Valerie close behind, who are clearly taking in the six other guys in the breakroom. Well, fuck. The cat’s out of the bag for good, he guesses.

“Could you get everyone else during lunch break? I’ll explain then.” Talyn nods and leaves with a smile, telling him that they’re not mad at him, while Nico asks, voice farther away “So are you haunted or not?”.

“So they’re… aspects of your personality that you’ve been able to manifest since you were a kid?” Camden asks, a bit disbelieving, even as Logan, Roman, Patton and Janus drape themselves over Thomas on one of the beanbags in the breakroom, filled with other nerdy gay young adults. Logan pushes up his glasses, ready to go on another tangent. Go wild, you funky little dude.

“Well yes, that’s exactly what we're saying. I myself am the embodiment of Logic- every fact that Thomas has ever learned, and his, and these are his words, not mine, ‘the only braincell’. He makes the air quotes to go with the expression, but is also smiling fondly.

“Classic Thomas.”

“Yes, Valerie, I am inclined to agree. However, this is not specific to Thomas. Other people can, in fact, do what Thomas is. Lilly Singh is one of them- the reason that she and Thomas are even friends is because in high school Thomas caught her talking to one of her sides in the art room.”

“So wait-- we can summon sides too?!” asks Nico, and he and Camden look genuinely excited, but Thomas knows the answer to that question.

“Unfortunately no, not really. You have to have an extremely active imagination, and also be ‘innocent’, as society would put it. I’d say näive.”

“For example, I couldn’t make any more sides after i was fourteen, because I watched the news by then.” pipes in Thomas. Joan seems to process this first, nodding and grinning sardonically. “Ah yes, the news. Wrecking childhoods since forever.” everyone nods in gay syncing, because gay minds think at the same time.

Valerie suddenly speaks up; “So how many sides do you have, Thomas?”

Thomas perks up, because his sides are possibly his favourite metaphysical beings (as narcissistic as that might sound) “I have six! My logic, morality, both creativities- Kids and Family and PG13-and-up, anxiety and deceit! I have two creativities because of catholic guilt and my mind’s inherent need to cause chaos, I guess.”

“Valid” replied Valerie.

The rest of break passed by pretty smoothly, with questions being passed back-and-forth about what the sides truly were, considering they clearly were not just Thomas, and Virgil even felt okay enough to come in later! So that was good. Though he kind of wishes Remus had made fewer Heathers jokes- Camden was starting to look squeamish, even as Nico frantically took notes of gorey facts to use in his script.

Honestly, Thomas thought to himself. What was I scared of?

Irrational things. And rejection, replies Virgil in his head. He laughs and pulls him in for a hug, and tries as he might to deny it, Virgil is looking pretty chuffed.

[sapphic-schizo]

for some reason i did not blog about this back when it happened but the last time i went to the grocery store my mom was driving and as she turned off the main road in our town to go into the parking lot she slowed down a bit to avoid a pothole and this dumbass in a pickup truck (of course) fucking swerved around us like a maniac even though there was a stop sign one car space ahead of us so he would've had to slow down anyways. in like a 20mph zone. we were just like ugh what an asshole and were ready to move on cause we're from florida and no strangers to horrible freak ass drivers.

but then when we were walking up to the grocery store the guy was like..........waiting for us at the entrance???? in the fucking rain????????? just standing outside waiting to ambush us? and he was like "were y'all okay?" and for some godforsaken reason my mom started to talk to him and he just kept going on and on and i was only half listening just like oh my god please shut up and then i was just like "well thanks for apologizing" sort of like okay we're done talking to you now bye but then he was like "oh i'm not apologizing i'm just saying you're lucky i'm such a good driver when i was your age i was drag racing blah blah blah blah blah" and i wanted so bad to be like yeah i can tell you don't really know how to use your brakes.

and afterwards he just kept like.....following us around the store? my mom noticed it too and i was just like you really don't wanna try me half the male employees in this store are in love with me i could get like six huge men to take your ass out back in a heartbeat.

and when we were checking out he of course got in line right behind us the fucking creep. and then he was like ~drive safe~ as we were leaving like???? okay mr. big dick drag racer thanks for the fucking tip

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 2 』

· Sept. 26th → One Ball, Heart and Soul ·

Characters: Sawamura Daichi, Testurou Kuroo, Bokuto Koutarou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru, Terushima Yuuji

Prompts: A. favourite position/role + B. travel/journey

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, headcanons, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: I found it so hard to pick a favourite position/role, because they're all so interesting and important, and I love everyone 😭 But I settled on the role of captain because of the headcanons I thought of. Captain Sqaud, assemble! So, want to find out what these boys are like on a road trip?

(Just to be clear, I do love all these guys. None of this is hate 😂) All my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have some NSFW stuff on my blog, too. Feel free to check that out~ Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Dad-chi™

Comes prepared with all the food, drinks, snacks, med kit, camera – literally everything you could possibly need on a road trip

Plans out the route beforehand down to the tiniest detail nothing gets past this man

As well as multiple backup routes in case there's diversions etc.

Plans for regular breaks at two-hour intervals where everyone can pee, stretch their legs, buy anything they need, etc.

He's the one who's driving he's not letting anybody else get a scratch on his van, lmao

And he's good at it

No speeding he's a cop, y'all but he doesn't dawdle either, no running red lights, turns corners well, keeps an even foot on the gas, etc.

Just a good time, tbh

Nobody is getting car sick because of him that would be a damn disgrace

"Stop fighting right now, or I'm turning this van around"

And will actually do it if you don't stfu, lmfao

Don't even think about making a mess and dropping your rubbish in the van you'll be walking home

Everyone else thinks his music is boring and for old people, but Daichi honestly doesn't care

Besides, it's either that or no music at all, because he needs to concentrate on the road

He takes this shit seriously. People's lives are in his hands, dammit!

☆ Testurou Kuroo ☆

Likes to switch between driving and riding shotgun/being designated navigator

Is fairly decent at both

Is constantly eating something but, like, he probably doesn't even know what it is

Some kind of edible is shoved towards his mouth by whoever's riding shotgun, and in it goes shut up. Not like that, you cretins 😂

Somehow manages to behave like an overbearing grandparent and an overexcited child at the same time?? Nothing new there, I guess 😂

I'm sorry, Kuroo, I love you. Please don't be mad 😭

Has a banging playlist full of throwback songs from the 90s and early 2000s

Drums along sofly on the steering wheel or dashboard constantly

HATES driving in rain he's low-key terrified he's going to aquaplane

Likes driving with the windows wound down and feeling the wind in his hair

Will plan the route, but then forget to save it/print it off, etc.

Cannot work Google Maps or SAT-NAVs to save his life Kenma, please help him

Actually packs properly balanced meals, but is heavy on the snacks, too

You'd think he'd drive too fast, but he's actually really responsible

Constantly telling dad jokes to try and keep people amused the groaners are the best

Would probably fight someone at the gas station if they started being a dick and causing trouble

Kuroo, baby. I love you, but please don't get arrested 😭😂😭

☆ Bokuto Koutarou ☆

Dear God, do NOT let him drive leave it to Akaashi, I'm begging you

Has really bad spacial awareness in a vehicle and drifts all over the place

Probably speeds without even knowing it, too

Likes to ride shotgun, but is a terrible navigator, so is nearly always made to ride in the back

Is the loud one that moves around too much and blocks the rear view mirror strap him in tight, Akaashi

Belts along at the top of his voice to whatever music is playing, he's not fussy

Was told to pack essential items in his backpack and proceeded to fill it with sweets and snacks and a pack of condoms??? and thought he did good

Bokuto: Bro, you said they were essential

Akaashi: NOT FOR EVERY SITUATION

Rarely ever has to pee, but when he does, it's always miles away from any service station, and he has to hold it for hours

Has definitely peed at the side of the road multiple times because he couldn't hold it any longer, but he wasn't even embarrassed as numerous cars zoomed past

Likes sticking his head out the window like a dog on the motorway which gives everyone else heart attacks

Like, get the hell back inside you maniac 😭

If the car has a sunroof, he's 100% standing up through it with his hands in the air just you try and stop him

And they will. Everyone will try

"HORSES!!"

Will get out of the car in traffic jams to find out what's going on and end up chatting with random strangers until it starts moving again

And he's very sad when he has to leave his new friends. Droopy hair and emo Kou for the next 2 hours :(

Unironically enjoys playing 'I Spy' for hours at a time

Is a bit much to handle in such a confined space for hours on end, but he's just so excited for the road trip

Will fall sound asleep in a matter of minutes if you set him up with a travel pillow and it's freaking adorable!!

☆ Ushijima Wakatoshi ☆

No music whatsoever it's distracting. Why would he want it?

Okay driver, brilliant paper-map navigator

Will sit and do absolutely nothing but stare out the window the entire trip if he's neither

Breaks too hard and accelerates too fast, though

Is also kind of heavy-handed with the gear stick he may or may not have snapped one off before...

Never give him a SAT-NAV, though, because he will follow the directions with 100% accuracy and end up driving through a wall or some shit don't try and deny it

Does he ever even blink when he's looking at the road? We may never know

Might be astral projecting, who knows

Forgets people need toilet breaks but refuses to make unscheduled stops

"Just hold it in"

Uh-huh, sure. That's how that works, Toshi

No snacks

Or rather, no fun snacks. Protein bars and mineral water all the way, babyyyy 🙃🙃🙃

Could probably drive all through the night without taking any breaks but that's irresponsible

Don't do it, kids

Will likely devour the entire KFC menu at the service station he's big, okay? He eats a lot

Is prone to leg cramp after long drives oh look, he needs a massage 😏

Doesn't get car sick. Ever. Upset stomachs are for the weak

Has garbage and recycling pouches on the backs of the front seats use them correctly, or feel his wrath

Isn't exactly a barrel of laughs, but it's somehow endearing just like always *happy sigh*

But it's actually a good thing

There's no hidden side to Ushi or any bad or annoying habits that come out of the woodwork on a long road trip

He's just the same old reliable, adorably straightforward Ushijima ❤

☆ Oikawa Tooru ☆

Calls shotgun and demands the aux cord every. Single. Time but it's pretty decent music, so no-one really complains

Not that he's any good at navigation pray for Iwa-chan

Is constantly taking selfies, making TikToks, and documenting the trip on his social media

#ROADTRIP #SQUAD GOALS #BETTER THAN YOU

Will send all the photos in the group chat when it's over, and they actually come out pretty well

Will not stop complaining if the air conditioning is busted and Iwa-chan will threaten to dump him in the middle of nowhere if he doesn't can it 😂

Iwa-chan: I shoulda left you on that street corner where you were standing

Oikawa: But'cha dIDN'T

Bonus points if you get that reference, lmao

Has to keep taking breaks because his butt hurts when he sits down for too long because it's fLaT

I'm sorry, Tooru 😭😭 Forgive me. I love you, really

Is constantly on his phone

But he points out pretty views and interesting sights to everyone all the time awww

Low-key needs to pee all the time, but gets defensive if someone brings it up please stop bulling him, travelling is hard

"Are we there yet?"

Seems kind of annoying, but is actually just genuinely excited to go on a road trip and spend time with his friends 😭😭

Buys matching souvenirs for everyone in secret to surprise them with 🥺

When people complain about all the photos, souvenirs, and enthusiasm, etc. and ask why he has to keep doing it, Oikawa says:

"I want to remember as much of this as possible. I want us all to remember as much of this as much as possible," with a sweet little smile 😭😭😭

And that's when everyone realises how mean they've been to him about being over-the-top and irritating, and they all feel terrible

Just like in the freaking anime, man

☆ Terushima Yuuji ☆

Will hijack the aux cord to play his incredibly niche music taste

Feet up on the dashboard when he rides shotgun

Shoes on is bad enough, but shoes off just stinks up the entire car you have to roll all the windows down, lmfao

Will break all sorts of road laws if you let him behind the wheel please don't

Daichi will come and arrest him 😭😭

Lives on energy drinks

That's all the drinks he packs. Nothing else

Travels in sports wear and sliders yes, even though you reallly shouldn't drive in sandals

Like he knows or cares 😭

Will chat to girls at the gas station and ask for their numbers, even though he's never going to see them again

"You never know, man! It could be, like, fate or something"

Yes, Yuuji, you do. And it's 'or something'

Thinks it's a good time to sext his current booty call because, like, he has hours of free time. What else is he going to do?

Probably forgot to pack actual food

Has to live off of snacks and cheap service station food for the duration of the trip

But not his own snacks, of course. Everyone else's one doesn't keep friends and buy one's own snacks

Genuinely doesn't realise if he's being gross or annoying, so let him down lightly like a bro and he'll probably make an effort to stop

Doesn't plan the route or anything, even if he's driving. Just punches it into Google Maps as he sits his ass down on the day and trusts it to get him there in one piece and on time

Entire Johzenji team: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

For some reason knows how to change a flat tire, though, so he's good for something, I guess 😂😂

Probably saw a YouTube video on it. Maybe a WikiHow article

Somehow still manages to be an endearing part of the trip??

He smiles a lot and makes a lot of jokes, particularly when things go wrong, so it keeps everyone's spirits up

It definitely wouldn't be the same without him

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[blanket-fish]

Hold onto this Place, Chapter One

AO3

Summary:  James Kirk, an agent of F.S.F, has just come back from injury leave. The confrontation with his brother left deeper scars than just a bullet wound, but there's no time to focus on that, not with an impending attack from the Logic Extremists. Before he knows it, Jim is in deep with a dangerous organisation, and trying to keep up his cover is only the tip of the iceberg on his pile of problems, which happens to start and end with a man called Spock.

-----

There was an annoying clicking that just wouldn't stop. Jim had already turned off the water cooler, the radio and the heater but none of them seemed to be the cause. Pike would wonder why everything was off when he finally got here, but Jim had stopped caring about his boss's opinion after five minutes of this torment. Pike was now an hour late for this meeting, and he was the one that called it! One of these days Jim would get him to admit he planned his actions with the sole goal of irritating him.

Just as Jim was about to disassemble the plant pot, the door opened, and in walked Christopher freaking Pike, having taken the scenic route.

"And you talk to me about the importance of punctuality," Jim quipped, but refrained from going any further at the look on the other man's face. He watched as he dropped a file on his desk and went to pull out his chair.

"Take a look at that," Pike said "And tell me what seems off to you."

Jim raised an eyebrow, but walked over to pick it up. As he flipped open the cover, he could see Pike looking around the office. "If you're wondering what the noise is, I've spent the last hour trying to figure it out."

"Aren't you a trained operative? Stumped by... I'm guessing plumbing?" Most people though Pike was professional through and through. Those people had never worked with him.

Jim stuck his tongue out at Pike's shit-eating expression, and returned his attention to the file. S'chn T'gai Spock. As file's went, his was short. A scanned copy of his birth certificate, a few police reports about him dropping off the face of the earth at seven years old, and a passing mention of someone believed to be him being involved in a gang dispute a few months ago. Even the photo used was hand-drawn.

"I mean, he's a ghost and there's no confirmed sighting since he was a kid, but that's kinda run of the mill. I'm not sure what's making you be all serious," He placed the file back on the desk, cocking his head slightly ina questioning manner. Pike sobered up quickly.

"The issue isn't what's in the file, per se. It's more of a combination of things. Hold on a second," He turned to rifle through a filing cabinet, leaving Jim a little perplexed. "Spock is the son of a man called Sarek, or, as you might know him, The Ambassador."

It wasn't that Jim didn't recognise the name, it was just that the way Pike had said it implied that he should know... more than just that.

He realised Pike was looking at him, maybe expecting some kind of response. He shuffled awkwardly. "Ah, right, yes. The... Ambassador. I do definitely know who that is."

"Kirk, I know you were just on injury leave-"

"I still think you were overreacting."

"You... You got shot! I wouldn't say I - Doesn't matter, the point is, you didn't hit your head did you? The Ambassador? Leader of the Logic Extremists? Who hacked the TV networks last year?" Pike's face was incredulous, and he looked like he was torn between throwing something at Jim or just giving up.

"Oh! Right, them. That, that's my bad, that's on me." Now Pike had said it, a dozen more things they'd done sprung into Jim's mind. It was the clicking, it was a distracting. A pretty good excuse, if he did say so himself.

Pike shook his head. "At any rate, we've recently linked Sarek to a dispute previously believed to be between the... Collective, or maybe the Borg, doesn't matter, we linked Sarek to it, and the new theory is that it was an attempt on his life by a rogue part of his organisation. Our sister agency in Andoria took a suspect called V'Latak into custody yesterday. All they managed to get out of him before he offed himself was that Sarek was planning some kind of retaliation. Given that the attack he's retaliating to nearly took many more civilian casualties than it did, the concern now is that he might make a point publically about not crossing him."

Jim took a moment to process all the information that had just been hurled at him. "This attack, is it the same as the one in the file?"

"Yup. Some of the witnesses remembered his name being used to address someone, and our experts confirmed the description they gave could fit a grown-up Spock. It's tentative I know, but, and I am finally gonna get to the point of this meeting-"

"Meeting is generous. There's two of us."

"Okay, look, what else would you call it?" When Jim was silent, he continued. "That's what I thought. As I was-"

"Could call it a briefing."

"Right, information now, quips never. Pay attention. Anyway, the reason I called you here, is that we found an opportunity to get an agent on the inside. Our source says that they're recruiting people for a low scale heist, rally, thing, I'm not really sure. Thing is, they're usually pretty picky about who gets involved, but in this case they're apparently struggling to find getaway drivers with any kind of skill. Thus, you."

"Me indeed. When do I start?" Inwardly, Jim was glad to have an excuse to drive like a maniac again. Bones tended to frown on that at any other time.

"We've already made contact under a cover ID and have been told to meet Spock, which is why I had his file, I know you were gonna ask, at Victoria Docks tomorrow at 1900."

"Okay, cool, just to clarify, that whole 'Tell me what seems off to you thing' was completely irrelevant?"

"It set the tone. Not gonna apologize for that."

"Mm-hm, and I still don't know why you were all serious. This is all pretty par for the course."

Pike shifted awkwardly. "Alright, fine. Maybe I am a little worried about throwing you undercover when you just came back from leave. Especially with a group like this."

"Chris, I've been in worse-"

"I know, Jim. You just had me worried with the whole gunshot thing, it was pretty touch and go. So sue me if I'm a little concerned." Pike was pointedly not looking at Jim's face.

Pike was sweet, sometimes. Sometimes. But Jim was not ready to be affectionate with anyone so soon after what happened with Sam. So he just smirked.

"Aww, Chris, that's cute,"

"Okay, enough, go, do something else, learn your cover, I'll send it to you-"

"I'll keep you updated on the bus, yeah?"

"You are insufferable." Jim just grinned and left the room.

<><>

The rain pattering down on the car windscreen was oddly calming. Jim was waiting a few streets away from the docks, waiting until it was time for the meet-up and mentally going over his cover for a final time. After seven years working at F.S.F, he had covers down to a fine art, but it never hurt to check over things.

Jimmy Jackson, 26, well-known street racer in Delta county. He won his first race at 19, ran his first gig as a getaway driver when he was 20, doing a heist at the Oval Gallery. The best covers were the simple ones. No normal person would know the exact dates of every job they'd ever done, and that was the principle he was relying on. There was only so much he could memorise in a day.

Jim checked his watch. Ten minutes until the meeting time. It would be reasonable enough to head to the docks. He turned the key in the ignition, engine turning and being much louder than he was used to. There'd been a breakthrough in silent engines in 2068, about a decade ago, and the car he had was built a little before that. Still, it ran fine, had a decent speed, and crucially, didn't have the trackable gear regulator that newer models did. Something like that would've gotten him fired before he was even hired with these guys. Scotty had been able to rub it in Pike's face that keeping old cars around wasn't useless, and his look of glee had been priceless.

Jim slowed the vehicle to a stop as he entered the docks. He squinted into the darkness, just barely managing to make out a small group of people, hanging out on the hoods of some cars. Spock hadn't come alone, and Jim would've been surprised if he did.

He exited the car a small distance from them, turning his face away from the wind. They couldn't have picked a nicer night to meet. He walked over, running his eyes over the group. It was difficult to see most of their faces, but one near the front definitely looked like he could be Spock. Jimmy wouldn't know that though, so he stood in a non-committal spot in front of them.

"He-ey, heard y'all needed my help." He flashed an obnoxious grin. The man who he could safely assume probably was Spock stepped forward.

"We don't need anything from you, Mr Jackson." Jim could practically hear the eye-roll in his voice. "However, we may have an opportunity for someone with your... apparent talents." Jim knew they'd probably taken at least a cursory look at him over the web. Sulu and Chekov had been working hard on bookending his backstory as a racer, and given their track record, he probably didn't have to worry about anything suspect being found.

"Well, that's why we're here ain't it," One of the people behind Spock scoffed. "Don't suppose I get to know what said opportunity might involve?"

"Well, I suppose it would be pertinent," Spock looked him straight in the eye. "If all goes well, you will be driving."

His backstory might not be an issue, but this man's attitude might. Granted, the persona he was playing isn't someone he'd be best friends with himself, but Spock was going to drive him nuts.

Jim was ready to fire back, quickly formulating a Jimmy appropriate response, but then he could hear sirens approaching. Spock gestured to his people, and they moved to get into their cars. "We don't hire people on good faith, Mr Jackson," Spock said, moving to get into a vehicle. "You can consider this your trial."

The first of the cars started their engines. Spock met his eyes as he spoke. "Do try and keep up."