#yeah ive got a lot of issues i need to work on. oh the double edged sword of art being a release for all my anguish but also causing me it

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

8 for the artist asks?

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in?

oh man this is a hard one.

i don't necessarily keep track of that stuff, and my memory is abysmally bad too so i can't even exactly remember any in particular, but i know there's gotta be so so many

it depends too ig heavily on what it is?? there's some old original stories of mine that i scrapped almost in their entirety, though i know some concepts/characters i'd be willing to recycle for use in something else.

w/ fandom stuff ofc, i'm sure we've all seen authors/artists lose interest in something they were posting and stopped updating it, leaving it unfinished. i can't exactly blame them; as much as it might suck for the readers/viewers that were invested, it would suck even more for the original creator to be forced to do something they've lost all passion for.

some things stay forever but you move on from others, and it's not necessarily a tragedy despite the years of mourning endured

weirdly specific artist asks

[xofanfics]

Without Warning - Part IV

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

Genre: angst, slight fluff

Pairing: Reader x Mark ft. Doyoung

Word Count: 3k

Summary: You and Doyoung had the best summer you could. Now that he’s hundreds of miles away in college, you have to go through senior year alone. You meet Mark at a time when Doyoung is making you feel like you’re single.

Mark was completely taken aback by the events of the night. You’d kissed him and you held his hand and you brought him into your room. Mark could hardly contain his excitement about having kissed you, touched you, and having been close enough to pick up on your scent. For him it wasn’t sexual. It didn’t have to be and, to be honest, he didn’t want it to be. At least, not right now. For now, he was just enjoying this innocence with you.

You went in your drawers and pulled out pajamas, sending Mark into anxiety. Please don’t change in front of me, please don’t change in front of me, he thought. The last thing he needed was to get hard right now and to potentially scare you away. He definitely wasn’t ready for something like that. Thankfully, you excused yourself into the bathroom and returned a couple minutes later with a freshly washed face and pajamas on. 

You looked beautiful as ever, even with no makeup on. He’d seen you a few times without makeup but on most days, he noticed, you’d at least be wearing eyeliner. But here you were, no eyeliner, no mascara, and none of your usual lipgloss with the slight pink tint to it. 

Mark was lying across your bed, heart racing. He was nervous because he’d never seen you in this state and, of course, because he liked you a lot. “You feeling okay?”

You nodded. “Just a little tired. Do you wanna watch my show with me?”

“Yeah. What show?”

“I started rewatching Sailor Moon.”

“I’m down for whatever.” 

You crawled into the bed with him and snuggled up to him, lying on his chest. He wasn’t sure if you could hear his heart racing but it was definitely racing. His heart pounded so hard he could hear it in his ears. He didn’t know if it was because he’d been drinking or what; he just knew that he was very aware of himself right now. Was he breathing too hard? Was he breathing at all? Did he still smell like alcohol? Did you actually like him, the same way he did? He had so many questions and most of them, he couldn’t answer at the moment.

One minute you were watching tv in silence and the next minute, you were asleep. Mark looked down at you and smiled at how cute you looked with your mouth slightly open. He wished he had this view all the time. With a sigh, he thought about all the things you could do if you were his. But for now, he caressed your hand as you slept. He stayed like that with you for the rest of the episode before he figured he shouldn’t overstay his welcome. He scooted from underneath you but before he could get out of the bed you reached out for him, grabbing onto his arm.

“Don’t go,” you mumbled.

“What?”

You opened your eyes and pouted. “Cuddle with me…”

Mark’s heart started racing again but he did what you asked. Plus, how could he resist when you made a face like that. He got under the blanket with you and pulled you closer. You snuggled up to him and said, “Goodnight.” Mark smiled and wrapped his arms around you. And with you in his arms, he fell asleep more quickly than he normally would. 

*

“Y/N?”

Mark shot up, realizing that he probably should’ve asked you when and if your mom was coming back home. He looked down at you, still fast asleep. Should he hide under the bed? In the closet? He heard footsteps coming toward the closed door. Mark bolted into the closet, hoping that the door wasn’t the kind that would squeak as you opened it. Thankfully, it didn’t and he closed the door just enough. He took in a deep breath, praying that your mom had no reason to look in the closet.

“Y/N?” your mom said. She opened the door and Mark heard your mattress shift from outside the closet. 

“Hey,” you said. He heard you yawn loudly. He couldn’t see you but he imagined it in his mind. 

His heart raced while your mother spoke. Was he breathing too loud? Could your mom somehow sense his presence? Thankfully, he’d come over in his socks so there weren’t any shoes by the door to be evidence. He’d met your mom a couple times at this point but he was pretty sure your mom wouldn’t have been very happy to come home and find the two of you asleep in each other’s arms. 

“Did you have fun with Mark and your friends?” She chuckled as Mark’s heart continued racing. “That’s good to hear. Anyway, it’s been a very long double shift so I think I’m going to take a bath with those bath salts you got me for my birthday. Get a little more sleep.”

“Okay,” you said, “See you later.”

Mark heard the door close and relief swept over him. A moment later, when he was sure your mom was gone, he whispered, “Y/N…”

“Mark?” You opened the closet door, surprised that Mark was there. You found him in between your jeans and your t-shirts. “Oh my God, I thought you left! I’m sorry, I forgot to set my alarm. I should’ve told you my mom was coming home in the morning. Unfortunately, she’s not on vacation in Mexico...”

“It’s all good,” he said, chuckling as he stepped out of the closet. “As long as she didn’t see us in the bed together, I think we’ll both survive.”

You laughed, too. “That was way too close.”

“Yeah, for sure. I should get out of here before your mom comes back...”

You nodded, moving out of his way. “Let me make sure she’s in the bathroom.” You left him in the room for a moment. Mark grabbed his phone from under your pillow. You came back and said, “The coast is clear.” 

You waved him over and he followed you to the front door. 

Mark turned to you. He needed to know before leaving here. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah,” you said, stretching.

“Do you remember anything from last night?”

You nodded. “I remember everything. I meant everything.”

That brought a wide smile to Mark’s face. He felt his cheeks get hot and he wasn’t sure if he was visibly blushing or not. Then again, he didn’t care. Hell, if you meant all the things you’d said, nothing else mattered. You wanted to kiss him, genuinely. He wasn’t sure if you liked him like that but you clearly felt something. And, for now, that was good enough for him.

You had something you wanted to say but you hesitated. Things had taken a turn since last night. “Um…”

Mark noticed your hesitation. He supposed things did get a little awkward. “What’s up?”

“Since we’re sober now, will you kiss me?” you asked, taking Mark by surprise. You’d been so forward for the last ten hours and he had no idea what to make of any of this. You didn’t know what had come over you the past few hours.

“Yeah.” 

Mark leaned in slowly, pressing his lips to yours. Your lips felt the same, more or less. They weren’t as moist without lipgloss and they no longer tasted like cotton candy. But he enjoyed the kiss with you nevertheless. He pulled away a few seconds later with a smile. You looked into each other’s eyes for a moment and he kissed you again. “Is that what you wanted?”

“Yep.” You took his hand in yours and squeezed it. “Now get out of here before my mom catches you here.”

With a chuckle and a kiss on your cheek, Mark was gone with the wind. 

*

Doyoung was annoyed and frustrated. He’d been trying to contact you for weeks on end to no avail. You’d dodged every obstacle. He’d hit you up on LINKEDIN, for God’s sake. He was putting in all that effort and you ignored him every time. He’d tried contacting you through your friends, on social media, and so on. But there was never any response. 

And then the one opportunity he had to talk to you, you were drunk off your ass. Was it that bad that you couldn’t contact him sober? Was it that bad that you had to be drunk to speak to him?

He was frustrated because he fucked up. He fucked up and he didn’t mean to. New stressors in his life weren’t any excuse to treat you the way he did. He got caught up in this new life and he took you for granted. He assumed you’d stick around because you loved each other, even though he hadn’t been acting like it. College life became more important to him that managing the relationship. But he snapped that one time and that was all it took to destroy the relationship. He was so stupid not to realize what was going on, not to realize how distant he’d become. It didn’t look good on his part, as your boyfriend.

How could he have been so stupid? He missed you. Some days, you were all he thought about. Were you sleeping well at night? Were you having fun? Did you...miss him? 

He was frustrated because he made a mistake, one that cost him even his friendship with you. He lost his girlfriend and his best friend, all at once. And he hated it. He missed being able to vent to you when he’d had a shitty day and he wished that he could call and tell you about it. But you took that option away from him and Amber and Phil weren’t much help either. He didn’t want to put them in the middle; it was an issue that he had with you and it wasn’t right to try to go through them.

Doyoung’s phone rang on his desk, disrupting him from his thoughts. It was his mother. She was the last person he wanted to speak to right now. He let it ring, hoping that she’d just leave it at that. The phone stopped ringing and he let out a sigh of relief. The relief only lasted for a few seconds and she started calling again. Doyoung rolled his eyes and sighed instead of hurling the phone across the room like he’d imagined in his head. He picked up the phone from off the desk and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey mom.”

“Just calling to check on you. How is everything?”

“It’s going okay. I’m working on a paper right now. I’m almost done. I got an B on my biology exam. I think I’m getting the hang of how I need to study for that class.”

“That’s good to hear. I’m sure you’ll do better for the next exam. Start preparing now so you can get a head start.” She cleared her throat. “Did you book your flight yet?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ve been so busy. I meant to tell you about it yesterday.”

“Good. The prices were getting more expensive.” She let out a deep sigh. “I can’t believe your brother is getting married in three weeks.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to have to come right back to school after.”

“Me either. But you know how event venues are. They got a good deal considering it’s a weekend.”

“It’s going to be a long weekend.”

It would be. But all he could think about was the possibility of seeing you while he was back home. He had so many things he wanted to say, so many things to make up for. He just wanted confirmation if things between you two were truly over. What would he find if he looked you in your eyes? Love, hate, or indifference?

*

Amber hit you in the arm with the copy of Romeo and Juliet that had been sitting on your desk. “You and Mark what?” 

You shrugged and said, “We kissed...a few times. And he might’ve slept over last night...”

“Slept over? Did you guys do it?”

“No!” you said, probably a little more loudly than necessary. “It wasn’t like that. We just...cuddled and slept. But I forgot to set an alarm for when my mom came back so Mark must’ve heard her calling me and he hid in the closet.” You grabbed an oreo from the box sitting in the middle of the bed as Amber sat cross legged at the foot of the bed, waiting for the rest of the story. “At first I was sad because I thought he left in the middle of the night but he ended up in the closet because my mom came in to say hi.”

“Well this was definitely unexpected,” she said, “but Mark’s a pretty decent guy, being from the male species and all.”

“Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you tell me you liked Mark?”

“I didn’t know. I mean, I never thought about it.”

“So you’re not sure?”

“I think I do like him…I mean, I liked the kiss and the cuddling. And it’s not like he’s not attractive.”

“You’re not using him to get over Doyoung, right?”

You shook your head. Of course, getting over a two year relationship wouldn’t be easy but you had to move on eventually. And, with the way he treated you, it would be easier once you met someone who truly had your best interests in mind. Mark was a sweet guy and he was a good friend. Even though things had been platonic up until this point, Mark had become one of your closest friends. You could trust him with your life and you knew that, perhaps, you could trust him with your heart, too.

You weren’t sure what came over you that night but all you could think of at the time was “What if we kissed?” The alcohol gave you the nudge but you found yourself thinking of Mark constantly. And every time you did, you smiled. You remembered how you felt when things had gotten more romantic with Doyoung. You’d get butterflies when you heard his name and you were excited to see him everyday at school.

It was pretty early on but you knew that you were starting to like Mark, as more than just a friend.

*

Lucas jogged over toward Mark, sweaty and exhausted. He plopped down on the bench next to his friend and took a long swig from his water bottle. They’d been playing basketball for about an hour. “Ready to go?”

Mark nodded, standing up. “Yeah, let’s head back. I’m starving.”

Lucas stood too and they headed to the parking lot, in search of the car. Mark took out the keys to his parents’ car and got in. As Lucas got in the passenger, he said, “So what happened after we left last night? Did you tell her you like her?”

“Well we, uh, kissed...and I did tell her I like her.”

Lucas smirked. “So she likes you after all, huh?”

“I mean, I think so.”

“What do you mean, you think so? Did you ask her?”

“I mean I didn’t ask her directly.”

“So what the hell did you talk about then?”

“Well we actually didn’t do too much talking.” 

As soon as the words left Mark’s mouth, he regretted them. He knew that it sounded a lot dirtier than he meant. And he knew that Lucas would take it the wrong way.

Lucas’ eyes widened as he took it the wrong way. “You fucked her?”

Mark turned in his seat. “No, no! We didn’t have sex or anything like that. I know it sounds kinda weird but she brought me over next door to hangout because she didn’t wanna be alone and then she kissed me and then she wanted me to stay over and cuddle with her. So we cuddled and we both fell asleep.”

“Cuddle, huh? We all know what cuddling leads to…”

“Hey, just because that’s what you and Marina do doesn’t mean it’s the same for me and Y/N! When are you going to start dating her anyway?”

“Hey! Don’t change the subject! We’re not talking about me and Rina. When are you going to take Y/N on a date?”

“Soon. I’m just not sure what we should do. Got any date ideas?”

“Y/N is a pretty simple girl. What about a picnic at the park? You could go around dinner and watch the sun set.”

*

Mark was feeling extra excited today. He got to the bus stop a few minutes early, so he could rehearse what he was going to say to you. He’d rehearsed it a million times last night into this morning. Initially, he thought about texting it to you but he decided against it; he figured that asking you in person would be better.

He’d been texting you all weekend but he hadn’t hung out with you. Part of him was hoping that the two of you could hang out at least once but you’d been out with your mom all day yesterday. And he understood because your mom hadn’t had a Sunday off in a while. He was satisfied with the kiss you promised him over text messages. 

You snuck up on Mark without meaning to. He’d been so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even see you coming in his peripheral vision. He jumped when you appeared in front of him, almost dropping his phone. “Shit!”

“Sorry,” you said, giggling, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay.” He sighed. “Ready for school?”

“I’m never ready for school.”

Mark chuckled. “Are you busy this weekend?”

You shook your head. “Nope.”

“Would you wanna go on a date on Saturday?”

Your face lit up at his words. That made Mark happy. “I’d love that.” You hugged him, wrapping your arms around him tightly. And when you pulled away, you gave him that promised kiss. 

That, of course, made Mark even happier.

***

TAG LIST: @wanlore​

GENERAL TAG LIST: @to-all-the-stories-i-love​

If you want to be added to my tag lists, pls send an ask!

[1990jeevas]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[if-you-built-yourself-a-myth]

Check Ignition: Part II

The Sobbe fake-dating Hogwarts AU that one person asked for and I dove into headfirst.

Part I // Part II // Part III // Part IV

Requests are open if you have any ideas of what I should write next!

Moyo thought the situation was hilarious. “Dude,” he said, between fits of uncontrollable laughter. “You’re never going to get any pussy ever again. Oh my gosh.” He doubled over in front of the fireplace, clutching his stomach as if it would burst. As a Gryffindor, he shouldn’t be in the Hufflepuff common room at all, and neither should Zoë (a Ravenclaw). Zoë got permission because her boyfriend, Senne, was Head Boy. Moyo slipped under the radar because he never wore his tie around campus.

Aaron too had his concerns for Robbe’s love life. “Does it count as cheating? Amber said that Noor—”

“He just kissed you?” Zoë sat forward on the couch. “Just like that? No asking, or—”

Moyo cut back in. “You will never feel the sweet, sweet touch of a woman. The virgin Robbe.”

“Boys, boys,” said Jens, ever the peacemaker, ever Robbe’s protector. “Uh, and girl. We are solving the crisis, not bringing up new ones.” He gestured to Robbe. “You have the floor, my friend. What do you need from us?”

“I, uh—” Robbe began.

It had been Jens’s idea to tell Moyo and Aaron in the morning. Zoë just happened to be waiting around for Senne to come out of the dormitories at the same time. The Hufflepuff common room featured two tables on either side of the fireplace, each surrounded by four straight-backed chairs. One couch faced the fireplace, and right now, Aaron, Jens, and Zoë had claimed it for themselves. With all the prime real estate taken, none of the other students stuck around.

Plus, it was early, before breakfast and morning classes.

“Go ahead,” said Jens.

Robbe didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what Sander expected to get from the arrangement, either. What he knew:

1. Sander kissed him to get Britt off his back.

2. Sander referred to him as a boyfriend rather than a hookup.

3. Sander knew he wanted to get Noor to leave him alone.

What he didn’t know:

1. Did Sander want them to fake date?

2. Was it just a one-time thing?

He wasn’t a big fan of not knowing all the specifics. It was hard enough to trample down the feeling blossoming in his chest when he thought of kissing Sander again.

“I—I need—” What did he need? He needed to talk to Sander. They didn’t share any classes, nor were there any Hogsmede visits coming up in the near future. Robbe sure as hell wasn’t going to patrol down near the dungeons, even if Jana came with him, because they smelled like mildew and he didn’t want to run into anyone besides Sander. He decided on a placeholder for now. “I need you to go along with it. If Noor asks.”

“Go along with it?” Moyo repeated.

“Yeah, go along with it. Corroborate the story.”

“No. Absolutely not.” Moyo crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not lying to a girl. Especially not a pretty one.”

Aaron nodded along. “That’s messed up.”

“You’re not going to earn any points by not,” said Jens. Thank goodness for Jens.

“It is a bit cruel, isn’t it?” said Zoë. “Tell her you’re not interested if you’re not interested. It’s an asshole move to drag someone else into it.”

They dissolved into cacophony, talking over one another without regard for volume. It reminded Robbe of last night’s music. He’d meant to ask the boys if anyone had heard anything from the astronomy tower last night (had Sander made a bubble at all?), but he hadn’t gotten the chance when Jens opened with “Sander told everyone he and Robbe are dating so Britt and Noor will leave them alone.”

“And she’s going to find out,” said Moyo. “Girls know everything. Imagine how that’ll feel—Robbe hates you so much he’d rather be gay than snog you. It’s not fair.”

Zoë pointed at Moyo to emphasize his point. “I’m surprised to hear such a rational take from you.”

“I don’t hate her!” Robbe felt the need to step in and defend his honor. “I already told her I’m not interested. She keeps circling back around, and I’m tired.” In truth, he hadn’t said anything explicit. She should understand his apathy by the way he never took her coat or offered to walk her back to her common room. Perhaps that made him a bad person. “Look, this won’t be forever. We’ll give it a week and we’ll break up and everything will go back to normal.”

Moyo laughed without humor. “Yeah, minus any chance of ever having sex with a girl ever again.”

“You had to ruin it,” said Zoë. “Bad take.”

“Okay, but after the whole thing last night, Noor’s gonna be depressed no matter what,” Jens said. “You tell her that last night was for Sander, and she’s going to be all over you again. You tell her it was so both of you could avoid both of them, and now she’s just as upset as she would be with the fake-dating. It makes more sense to go along, fake a breakup, and let the whole thing fizzle. No one gets hurt.”

The others considered this analysis. Robbe took to pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. He really didn’t want Noor to get hurt in all of this—did he?—but the allure of having her leave him alone was too great to pass up. And she’d be hurt if he told her flat-out, so wouldn’t this roundabout way be better? Yes, Jens was right. Aaron, Zoë, Moyo, and Jens gathered together in a makeshift huddle to deliberate the issue like committee.

Robbe pretended not to hear their animated whispers. He caught bits and pieces.

“Noor is kind of annoying—”

“What’s done is done, isn’t it?”

“—something an asshole would do. Remember when Jana—”

“I would never—”

The giant clock on the wall above the exit read seven. Breakfast would be ready in the Great Hall any minute now, and they’d need to hurry if they wanted to eat in time for History of Magic. Any later than seven-fifteen and Noor would be downstairs, too.

“It’s agreed, then,” announced Jens. He stood up and adjusted his tie. “We play along. Robbe and Sander five-ever. C’mon, boys, class.”

Moyo and Aaron grumbled to themselves, but they followed Jens to the portrait on the wall and slipped through with Robbe at their heels.

***

The walk to the Potions classroom felt longer than ever before. It was the first class of the day that Robbe didn’t share with one of his friends, because Moyo and Aaron were shit at following instructions and Jens had never created anything that worked. They barely mustered satisfactory grades last year. Robbe was a rule-follower. That’s why he was a prefect, and that’s why he could make a damn good Wolfsbane potion.

“Hello, darling!”

Someone slammed into him from the side, almost knocking his textbook from his hands. Robbe looked up and right at Sander’s perfect face. Sander’s eyes were alight, even in the dim aesthetic of the dungeon hallway. He held an embroidered canvas schoolbag over one shoulder and a wand in his left hand. It was all Robbe could do to not collapse when he slipped his right hand into Robbe’s and squeezed—until Robbe spotted Britt standing at the door to the potions classroom. Her eyes locked on them.

That answered some questions, anyway. Sander wanted whatever this was to continue.

“Where are you headed?” Sander asked. “I’ve got Transfiguration in a half hour, so I’m free to take you wherever. He said the words a lot louder than he needed to.

Robbe shared Potions with Britt. He’d totally forgotten. And he couldn’t possibly go see her, could he? So really, there was only one thing he could say. “Free period. I’m wandering.”

“Lead the way, oh wanderer.”

They walked side-by-side down the corridor, passing in front of the haunted girls’ bathroom and a wall stained by something that looked an awful lot like blood. Sander’s long strides made it difficult for Robbe to keep up; it took two of his steps to match one of Sander’s. He noticed something he hadn’t before—he didn’t make a habit of watching Sander walk when they went out with Britt. Sander kept his chin angled toward the ceiling and seemed to base his gait on the people around him. Faster than everyone else. Even if it took more effort than casual.

“Is this a thing now?” Robbe whispered. He tried to hide the fact that he might be wheezing. “If it shows Noor I’m not changing my mind, I’m still all the way…”

“I’d assumed it would be. Are there going to be rules?”

“Rule number one: you sit detention for the music. I still reported you.”

Sander stopped abruptly; his eyes caught on something down the hallway. “Duck into this bathroom with me,” he said. “Lingering kiss, then bathroom. Cool?”

“Uh, cool,” said Robbe.

The words had barely left his mouth before Sander’s lips were on his, something sweet, soft, and sloppy. Not as good as last night’s. Robbe decided he hadn’t really enjoyed that one, either. It was nerves that made it seem that way. He pulled away first.

It was kind of good, though. Ugh, kind of.

They turned, and Sander dragged Robbe into the bathroom by his wrist. He played the part of lovestruck teenager very well, from the mischievous glint in his eyes to the exaggerated gesture of the dragging. Once inside, he backed Robbe against a sink like they were going to kiss again, hard enough to make a loud clank. Then he withdrew, peeked out the door.

“Saw Noor,” he said, by way of explanation.

“Huh,” said Robbe.

“Is that the kind of stuff you want?”

“Don’t you have Transfiguration?”

Sander dismissed him. “I can cut. More important matters at hand.” He spun around to lean against the sink next to Robbe, who hadn’t moved since he was pushed. The sinks were arranged in a circular formation in the center of the bathroom, accessible from the stalls on either side. A large stained-glass picture of a massive snake glared down at them from the far wall. “What do you want this to entail?”

The porcelain dug into Robbe’s back at an unpleasant angle. He tried to remedy the feeling with a little fidgeting around. “What do you want it to entail?”

“You came to me. Clearly you have ideas. Britt will hate whatever.”

Robbe took a deep breath. “I just want Noor to think I’m in a relationship. So, like, you can do what you think—I mean, what will make her think—”

“Got it, got it.”

The bathroom was suddenly smaller than it felt a second ago. Silence made it even worse. Robbe stared at the floor so that he wouldn’t stare at Sander; he didn’t want to give off the impression that he was enjoying Sander’s company too much. He found himself thinking the same thing he’d been thinking since Sander kissed him yesterday: if only the boys knew, if only the boys knew, if only the boys knew… Which was a fruitless pursuit.

This was an arrangement and the relationship was fake. He wasn’t actually enjoying it.

No need to tell Jens or Moyo or Aaron anything more.

“Okay,” said Sander. “Give it five more minutes here like we’re making out. Then we head to the astronomy tower and we discuss the finer details. Sound like a plan?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.

Sander raised his wand and pointed it at a roll of toilet paper that sat on one of the toilets. The roll transformed into a compact CD player, floated over to their place at the sink, and began to play the same song as the player last night. “Not going to sit here in silence,” he said. The implication was that they wouldn’t talk to each other, Robbe thought. He dug his fingernails into the edges of the sink and counted down from three hundred so that he didn’t notice the veins in Sander’s hands.

They carried the player with them when they left the bathroom, only this time, Robbe could tell that Sander had actually performed some kind of bubble charm on the audio. No one so much as glanced in their direction as they wove their way through the packed hallways. They climbed the stairs to the astronomy tower, keeping to the right, and Robbe was surprised to watch Sander hop up into the little windowsill that Robbe fancied he owned.

“Alright, actual conversation.” Sander folded his legs and sat across from Robbe. “I should know things about you if I’m going to be convincing. And vice versa.”

“I’m a Hufflepuff,” said Robbe. That seemed like enough.

Not for Sander. “Real things. You know, mother’s maiden name, first grade teacher, the name of your first pet…”

Hang on, those questions sounded familiar. “Are you trying to steal my bank account?”

“Ah, so you have one?”

“A muggle one, yes. Not at Gringotts.”

Sander nodded, satisfied. “Me too. I mean, I have one at Gringotts, but it’s got like twenty Galleons in it. Maybe.” He pointed to the compact player. “Muggleborn.”

Robbe was a little startled at this information—Slytherin house favored purebloods, even when not in the midst of a war based on magical purity. Something about the founder and this whole thing with a basilisk.

“You too?” Sander prompted.

“I—uh, no,” Robbe said. “My dad is a wizard, just my mom isn’t, and I live with her during the summer.”

“Hm. What do you like to do in your spare time?”

“I don’t know. I study a lot. And I hang out with my friends, I guess.”

“Who are your friends?”

“Jens, Moyo, Aaron, and the girls. Are you going down a checklist or something?”

Sander laughed self-consciously. It was such a nice sound, holy shit, Robbe could listen to it all day. Sander adjusted his tie and shirt collar. “Forgive me for wanting to know more about you.” Robbe felt something swell in his chest and die when Sander continued, “What if Britt asks for info and I can’t give details? She’ll know something’s up for sure.”

“Yeah, of course,” Robbe ceded. Of course it was about the arrangement, that’s why they were there. Focus, Robbe. “The girls are Jana, Zoë, Amber, Yasmina, and Luca, if you want to write that down. We’re not really close, though. Just me and Jana.”

“Why’s that?”

“Jens is my best friend and Jana dated him for a while.”

“Huh. Committing that to memory.” Sander put his fingertips on his forehead and hummed to the tune of the CD’s song as if he were downloading information. “Okay, it’s there. Anything else?”

Robbe scoured his brain for something interesting about himself that would be helpful for a boyfriend to know. Boyfriend. Fuck. He gave himself a moment to savor the way it sounded in his head. Boyfriend. My boyfriend. There was a crisis there, in that it was so right compared to girlfriend’s wrongness, but he wasn’t going to have that breakdown right now. Boyfriend. Sexuality debates could wait until the whole fake-dating thing was done, because Sander wasn’t an option either way. Oh, but still, boyfriend.

“My favorite food is shrimp. I’m not a fan of reading but I’m okay at studying when Yasmina’s there. I’m a prefect. Is that enough?”

Sande shook his head. “I need something not a lot of people know. Insider knowledge.”

Insider knowledge? There wasn’t much of that in Robbe’s head. He’d been pretty open with everyone, except the maybe liking boys thing, and he wasn’t ready to admit that to himself.

He didn’t like boys.

“I was the one who broke them up,” Robbe confessed. “Jens and Jana, I mean.” He didn’t know why he picked this specific piece of information out of everything in his head; it was just the most available. Maybe it would serve Sander better to know a dark secret. “I told people something I shouldn’t have, so… well, you know. On purpose. I think you should know that.”

Sander squinted at him. “Not a good secret keeper. Okay.”

Yells echoed from the Gryffindor/Slytherin Quidditch match outside, mostly profanity and the occasional creative insult. Robbe was a seeker on the Hufflepuff team, Jens a chaser, and Aaron an alternate beater. They had a game next week, and it would make a lot of sense for Sander to attend, given the circumstances of their relationship… There should be something more to say to each other right now. Sander seemed content to linger in the silence. He rested his head on the brick behind him and looked out across the Great Lake, glimmering in the sunlight.

“When does it end?” said Robbe, at the same time as Sander said, “It’s much nicer up here at night.”

Sander turned from the window. “You first.”

“Oh, no, you can—”

“You first.”

“Uh, okay.” Robbe wrung his hands and wiped them on his pantlegs. “I wanted to know when it ends. The whole fake-dating thing. Like, do we pick a time, or—”

“Oh, I know that. Given it some thought.” Sander ran a perfect hand through his perfect hair. Not perfect—wow, Robbe really had to stop thinking shit like that, about how perfect Sander was. Every time he snuck another glance, there was another little detail that made Sander that much more striking. “Britt will just jump back in the second you’re out of the picture. End of term’s only a month away. She lives too far to follow me home, so I think that’s our best bet.”

A whole month. A whole motherfucking month. Robbe didn’t know if the boys could handle the responsibility of something that lasted that long. He didn’t know if he had it in himself.

“Or until one of us finds someone better,” Sander added.

Maybe not a month.

Not much to say after that.

“My mother is sick,” Robbe tried. The hard-hitting stuff was better material, more trust-building. Yes, Sander could use it against him, but Sander didn’t strike him as that kind of person. “Sick in the head. It’s passed genetically, so if I don’t get it, my kids probably will. Is that enough?”

He took Sander’s lack of response as an affirmative.

Robbe counted to three hundred again on the windowsill before carefully getting down. Sander probably wanted to be left alone with his music, like he’d wanted last night. It would be rude to stick around, Robbe reasoned. And he didn’t have infinite free time. He needed to catch someone from his Potions class to get the notes if he was going to keep his outstanding.

“I’m off,” he announced. “You have detention at five.”

“I’m not sitting for that,” said Sander. Other students began to push their way up the stairs for their astronomy class. “I’m doing you a service.”

“Filch will see you then.”

Robbe headed to the left side of the staircase for the trip down, but Sander reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him into a smooth kiss. Like the lap of a wave on the shore. Robbe didn’t see Britt around. Noor would be her Charms class until five. He cast a passing glance at the students milling around the classroom doors, looking for someone Sander needed to convince.

“That one was for the fans,” said Sander. “I’ll see you at dinner?”

“You’ll see me,” Robbe replied. He had to hide his face on the way to his next class so that Sander didn’t see the blush creeping up his cheeks.

[thxngam]

omg share your seaborn administration headcanons?

@tunennbee came up with like half of these!

well sam would be like late fifties or something when he runs/get elected 

josh as first gentlemen is...interesting

typically the first lady does some ceremonial stuff, and when the president takes private dinners with prime ministers and stuff the spouse is supposed to be charming and nice and helps the president project a family man vibe (which is sexist but whatever) 

josh...does Not Do That 

everything devolves into a policy debate

his press secretary is like “what can you do that projects a family man vibe?” and josh is like “...i can’t cook and I don’t think the American people want to see me yell at stupid umpires”

he’s got this weird vibe of just being a guy who likes baseball and doesn’t like the instant replay on football and also being a world class politcal genius

he likes the easter egg roll though! and when families come to trick or treat at the WH josh loves the kids

idk if sam and josh have a kid but josh likes little kids - “kids are great yknow? there’s no double meaning. if they want a juice box, they’re gonna ask for a juice box.”

people like sam as president because he’s a good speech giver and a good man but he has the same problem as Bartlet where people think he’s too smart 

but then footage of sam falling over or something goes viral and people reassess

“maybe...he’s just a guy. a really smart guy who likes grammar maybe too much, but he’s also just a guy”

Republicans try to use the footage to show incompetence and sam retweets it like “my husband saw this and laughed so hard he cried. it doesn’t take hand-eye coordination to know tax cuts don’t help the poor and that we don’t need to keep endowing the defense budget when we’re not fighting a war” 

josh retweets it too and is like “ive got more stories of sam being a klutz if anyone’s interested”

as a couple people like sam and josh

they’re gay icons tho

sam gives a really moving speech at a fundraiser for the trevor project and people cry

at the end of it sam goes up to this woman and there’s shaky cell phone footage of sam apologizing profusely about “oh my god i didn’t mean to make you cry? are you okay? can i get you something?” and this lady is like ‘they’re good tears!!”

josh is fondly exasperated

they light up the white house like a rainbow every june and sam actually includes gay rights on his campaign, not just a side thing bc he’s a democrat

he refuses to shuttle his relationship away - he’s the president and gay. they’re not mutually exclusive

donna is untouchable

there’s a small thing when donna becomes chief of staff 

a republican senator tweets “the day we let liberal blondes with no college degree run the highest office in the land is the day our country goes to hell in a handbasket” 

donna quote-tweets it with an itemized list of every time that person has dropped the ball or screwed up on something 

sam gives an impassioned statement to the press - it’s five minutes of sam talking about how amazing donna is

josh laughs very very loudly when a reporter asks what he thinks and says something like “donna barged her way into my office, convinced me to give her a shot, and worked her way to where she is today. the senator is wrong about a lot of things but he’s never been so wrong as when he said donna was incompetent” 

and after all this donna tweets a picture of her, joey, and their cat so people are like ‘QUEEN’

lists of her accomplishments are trending

nobody dares to say anything after that

will’s speaker of the house and josh hates him bc of the one time that sam and him hooked up when sam was running for the 47th the first time

“it happened once let it go josh-”  /  “never”

“josh shut up, he’s literally the speaker-”

will cannot for the life of him figure out why josh hates him

will asks just the once and sam is like “yeah, no”

this is my favorite thing tho - ainsley as a scotus judge!

sam and ainsley still disagree on everything but they’re still protective of each other

someone calls sam too preachy to be president and ainsley to bitchy to be a SCOTUS justice 

sam fiercely defends her “she’s a patriot before she is a conservative. she is intelligent, capable, and strong-willed, and she’d tell you all of that herself but i suppose if she did you’d resort to throwing silly misogynistic slurs so. here i am preaching.”

ainsley marches up to a reporter and is like ‘sam seaborn is definitely not always right, but there are little other people who care so much about the issues facing our country”

she then proceeds to email him like ‘i still disagree with you on everything”

sam emails back like “yeah me too, we can call it even”

This got really long and i have no filter so. hope you like them!

[ofieugogyshz]

Fic;; Memories: Riolu IV

Word Count: 8900 officially over 9000 now

Summary: Sarah accepts Cynthia’s invitation to visit her in Celestic Town. On her second day there, she finds herself visiting Cynthia in her grandmother’s home, and, once again, facing an internal struggle that her Riolu, Lance, and Cynthia, were set on helping her with.

Warnings: Lots of bad mental health, self-depreciation spirals, abusive thoughts to self. Also some awkwardness. (But it gets better!)

Notes: This is the thing that’s just been. taunting and harassing me for weeks, and i am so done with it. i am so sorry that it’s like, 2x as long as the others. I really hope it’s worth it to you guys, because I am just so done with it. Edit: Fixed up some spots, and re-pasting it added paragraph indents, so ????

(Series Masterpost)

---------------------

After helping me with my Riolu, Cynthia invited me to visit her in Celestic Town.

“I'll be there for a while, researching more myths.”

I told her yes, but when she offered to take me with her, I declined. I said that I wanted to walk the rest of the route to fulfill my Pokedex.

“Oh, you're working on a Pokedex? That sure takes me back...” She had a wistful look on her face. “I went on a big adventure with a Pokedex when I was younger.” I told her to share with me some of those stories when I met up with her in Celestic Town. She gave me her number, and we parted ways for the time being.

I spent the rest of that day and the next playing with my Riolu named Lance to make up for the issues we had ran into. Totally not connected to the Lance of fame. Yep. Definitely not. But it wasn't like I had that much of a choice. My friend, his father's trainer, had named him that for me as a cute little joke. I suppose I could have picked a name and told my friend to name it that. But I wanted to know what a Pokemon was like before I named it; and without the Pokemon in front of me, it was so hard to find an appropriate name. But watching Riolu-- little Lance fight our way up Route 210, I couldn't help but think that maybe my friend Blaze had the right idea in naming him after him. He was definitely strong and determined like his namesake, and showed plenty of care towards other Pokemon.

<<Can we call my namesake today? I wanna tell him how strong I got!!>>

I laughed. Now that I had accepted it, it was cute whenever he asked to talk to Lance. Lance—the human-- thankfully couldn't understand what the little Riolu was saying, but watching him entertain the notion was cute. Endearing. Enjoyable.

I looked at the time. Lance might be available now...? I had tried calling him earlier, but it went straight to voicemail. Probably working, I thought to myself.

“Let's try again after we get to the Pokemon Center in Celestic, so you guys can see each other with the videophones.”

And so we went through the rest of the route. It was a rather annoying route; there were many obstacles in our way, not including the fog that limited visibility. It took a few days to traverse the rest of the route by foot. I was able to train up my Pokemon a lot more than I expected. But even with the great training it provided, I was so relieved when I finally saw the rustic buildings nestled away in the mountain range. Even if it hadn't been Celestic, I would have been grateful just to stay a few nights away from the mess that was the foggy mountainside.

It was daytime when we arrived. I immediately looked for the Pokemon Center and checked in. When my Pokemon were returned, I let Lance out of his Pokeball.

“You know what, I think I'mma call you 'Little Lance', if that's alright with you? It's a little confusing talking to my friends about the both of you...” That was only partially a lie. I thought it might help distinguish them, yes, but I also still felt a little embarrassed calling him by that name... I was hoping a working towards a middle-ground might help.

Lance considered it for a moment, then shook his head.

<<Nope.>>

“Aw, but c'mon! It's super cute, calling you 'Little Lance'. Ooh! I could even call you 'Lil Lance'”

But he wouldn't budge.

“Ugh, fine then.”

<<Can we try calling Lance now?>> he asked, pointing to the videophones. I thought about it for a moment.

“I suppose so... It's almost time for our weekly call anyways.”

<<Yes!>> Lance curled up his fist and pulled it back in excitement. It was so cute to see him emulating a human gesture; he must've picked that up from me in the last week.

I picked up one of the receivers and dialed Lance's number. My heart was pounding, as it always did whenever I called him. Often I worried that I was being a bother. Things like, “Maybe I should call back later,” would plague my mind. But for some reason, I felt less nervous about it now. Maybe because Lance the Riolu was there, just as happy as I was to talk to him, that it made me feel less scared.

No answer still.

“Hmm... Weird.” The landline recording asked if I wanted to leave a message; I hung up. It wasn't that important to me to miss once. I had to let it not be important.

<<What's wrong?>>

“He isn't answering. Hope everything's alright. He's probably busy with other stuff right now.” I wonder if they officially made him Champion yet, or if they're still filling out the paperwork on that, I thought. He had mentioned that a few weeks ago; though that had little to do with him not answering. My thoughts were wandering far away on the topic, musing on what that conversation would be like when he told me that it was officialized. Lance tugged at my pants.

<<Can we visit Miss Cynthia then?>>

“Yeah, let me just see if she's available.” I pulled out the number she gave me, slowly typing it in. It rang once before being answered. There was no visual, so I found myself staring at a screen that just said “No Visual”, accompanied by the image of a Chatot.

“Hang—Hang on a moment.” Cynthia's voice sounded far away and strained, like she was just out of reach of her phone. The distant sound made me curious on how she had answered it, but I didn't have time to think about that, because she suddenly came in much louder and clearer.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Cynthia? It's Sarah.”

“It is! I'm glad to hear from you! Are you nearby? I can go out and meet you if you want.” She sounded eager, excited. Had she been looking forward to this? I didn't think so. I was just a trainer she had met twice; and younger than her, I would later discover. Maybe the sound of her happy voice was because she just had a breakthrough with her research, and she couldn't wait to tell someone. I highly doubted she was excited to hear from me, after all. Not after the impression I gave last time.

Lance looked at me, his ears drooping a little as he examined me. Ah. Right. I shouldn't be thinking a thought like that. I guess that was something both Lances wanted me to work on.

“I'm already at the Pokemon center,” I told her. I scritched behind Lance's ears, making him feel better. It helped me, too. “I just got in.”

“Oh! That's perfect! I'll come get you.”

We hung up. She arrived in about fifteen minutes, brushing dust and dirt off of her coat as she arrived. Based on what I had seen of her in pictures and in person, I never would have imagined that she could look so disheveled.

“Where were you?” I asked. Lance and Pika both ran over to greet her.

“Oh, excavation. Have you learned about the Celestic Ruins yet? It's why I love coming back here so much! I can show you later, if you'd like.”

“N-no, that's fine for right now...”

We hadn't made any plans for the visit, so Cynthia gave me a short tour of the small town. In its center was a crater, and in the center of that crater was a small shrine. She told me that it dates back to ancient times; many of the town's residents still prayed to the deities and Pokemon they believed were tied to it. Behind the shrine was a cave; on each side of the cave's entrance were two large drawings, of what I presumed were ancient or mythological Pokemon. Beyond that, there was little of interest to passing trainers. The town was so small that it lacked a proper Pokemart. Instead, an old couple sold things from their home for any passing trainers that needed to restock between Mt. Coronet and their next destination. I wasn't sure if it was surprising or just interesting that the Champion considered this town her favorite.

For lunch, she took me to one of the few places to eat in the small town. While there wasn't much to catch Cynthia up on, I found myself excitedly telling her how Lance and I got along better since we last saw each other. She listened intently, speaking thoughtfully and giving me advice. I found myself asking her for a casual battle-- not one with her title on the line, but as between new friends.

“Very well then,” she said. “I should let you know-- I plan on going all out!”

“Couldn't ask for a better match myself!”

I sent out a Luxio and a Roselia, both Pokemon that I had caught here in Sinnoh. They were doing great at Gym Battles, and I figured the experience with a Champion might help them grow even stronger. Cynthia quirked an eyebrow, interested in the unspoken challenge of a doubles battle. She sent out a Garchomp and a Gastrodon. The double Earthquake duo had a huge advantage over Luxio; Roselia could handle Gastrodon, but that still left her Garchomp. As we battled, I did my best to keep my two Pokemon from fainting, but there was only so much they could do at their current strength. We both called back our Pokemon when the battle was over.

“That was a great match! The confidence in which you issued your commands allowed your Pokemon to trust you, and they responded well! I can't wait to have another battle with you when they've gotten stronger.”

“Tch...” Though she gave me high praise, the defeat still stung. “We should have another match with my aces.”

“Hmm. Perhaps another day... Don't forget that the key to growing as a trainer is to challenge yourself! Playing it safe is going to deprive yourself of new possibilities.”

She was right on both counts. One battle was enough for now. I had gotten a glimpse of what waited for me when I would challenge the Sinnoh Elite Four and its Champion, and I felt myself eager to train with my Pokemon for when that day would come. Beside me, Lance had looked on in awe, little tail wagging during the battle.

<<I want to battle too!>> he said to me. I knelt down to pat his head.

<<Maybe next time.>>

The next day, I headed over to where Cynthia was staying. We realized that we had a shared interest in mythology, so she invited me over to look at some of the texts that her and her grandmother kept. Pika followed behind me with Lance. I could hear the both of them talking happily amongst themselves, and I smiled. It was nice to hear him feeling like a member of the team again.

When I got to the address Cynthia gave me, an older woman answered the door. She adjusted her glasses, looking me up and down.

“Um, hi. I'm here because Cynthia invited me. This... is the right address, yes?” I looked at the address she had hastily scrawled down for me, and showed it to the woman. She didn't bother looking at it.

“That's correct. My granddaughter told me that she would be having a friend come over. Didn't think it'd be someone so young.” I winced. She motioned for me to come in, closing the door behind her. I took a look around. Stacks and stacks of paper were all over the living room, or what I thought was supposed to be one. Cynthia's grandmother followed my line of sight and sighed. “Pardon the mess. When we both really get into our research, it shows.”

“Ahaha, it's okay. Kind of reminds me of my room,” I said without thinking. Woops. Probably shouldn't've mentioned that. That wasn't a good impression, but hopefully it wouldn't mean something bad to them, if it came back up.

“In here.” Cynthia's grandmother had led me down the hall and stopped in front of one of the doors. “Cynthia's already in the library. She said she wanted to pull out some texts for you to read before you got here. Knowing her, she's probably already got a huge stack prepared for you. I'll be going out for a walk, so if you need anything, let Cynthia know.”

I was alone in the hall with my Pokemon. Lance and Pika stood on either side of me, looking up at me. I was a little nervous, and her grandmother's comment on my age left me feeling a little unsettled. Was she expecting someone older? How much older? I just realized that I don't even know how old Cynthia is! Is it really okay to call ourselves friends if she's much older than me? But I found the nerves paling in comparison to my excitement. I was excited to have someone else to call a friend; excited that the local Champion had called me a friend to her grandmother. But more importantly, I was excited to see the library that she had. All the books, all the texts, the myths and years of research that people had put into studying these things-- even if I was only interested in reading only the myths, being surrounded by so many books would be so exciting! Old books had that especially exciting aesthetic appeal to them, just thinking about it...

<<Are you okay?>> asked Lance. He tugged at my clothes, pulling me out of my reverie.

“Ah, yes. Thank you. Sorry, I got a little excited...”

<<You must really like books.>>

The comment made me smile. I took a deep breath and knocked loudly on the door.

“Come in!” I could hear Cynthia's faint response through the door. I turned the doorknob and pushed.

The sight of so many books greeted me. They were on the walls, stacked against shelving on the walls. Some stacks were so high that some of the desks and chairs were buried and hidden from view. Everywhere I turned was littered with books, folders, and handwritten notes.

“Sarah! I'm so glad to see you!” I could see Cynthia in the center of the room, holding a cup of tea. I could barely make out the sight of some fancy-looking seats centered around a coffee table in the middle of the room. I smiled, and closed the door behind me.

“Thanks for inviting me!” I said. I started walking towards her, my Pokemon carefully hopping from low bookstack to bookstack like the floor was lava. I began to talk excitedly, sentences running into each other as I couldn't wait to share what I had to say. “I'm so glad you asked me to come over, this is so amazing, and---L-Lance!!! W-w-what're y-you doing h-here?”

I stopped dead in my tracks, face flushing, unaware that there was going to be company. Much less company that I liked.

<<I'm sorry, was I not supposed to jump on the books?>> asked my Riolu. The sudden change in my reaction, the strange query mentioning his name, had left him confused. It took him a moment to realize what was going on with me. He looked to where I was stuck staring, as though I were stricken with a Glare attack and could not look away. I heard a happy yip from him, and he ran towards the red-headed trainer that was seated on the couch.

<<It's him!!! It's him!! My namesake!! We get to meet my namesake!!!>

“You must be the little Riolu that I've been talking to over the phone!” I heard Lance say. He caught the little Riolu, ruffling the top of his head. My Riolu looked up at him, starry-eyed, before turning back to me. I was still stricken to the spot. Cynthia came over to me, gently pushing me behind the back to lead me to a chair that was seated on the side, between both of theirs.

“Come on in! Don't be afraid to sit down with us!”

“I-I'm not!” I said quickly, the words out of my mouth before I realized what they were. I shut my mouth right then, glancing at Lance, before looking back at Cynthia. She gave no indication that this was intentional, but I had the underlying sense that it was... I was suddenly hyperaware of how I presented myself. I quickly placed my hands in my lap. I kept my legs together, though one foot would begin bouncing in place before I knew it.

Pika had heard the excited commotion and came over to me, peeking her head over a pile of books to look. When she saw who it was, she ran over and happily nuzzled Lance on the cheek.

I felt simultaneous embarrassment and envy of her at that moment. I could have cried. I wanted to cry.

Sensing the conflicting emotions, Lance-- the Riolu-- came over to me and climbed into my lap. He was emanating so much happiness from meeting Lance –the human-- that it started to put me at ease. I wrapped my arms around my Riolu, gently resting my chin on his head, wishing I could have fiddled with something instead.

I watched as Lance picked up my Pikachu and set her down on the couch, gently scritching her under the chin.

“And hello to you too, Pika! It's been awhile since we've seen each other, hasn't it friend?”

“Chu! Pika pikachu!!”

<<My namesake! My namesake!!!>>

This was going to give me a headache, if I didn't die from embarrassment first. I tried to suppress a groan, and looked to Cynthia once more, trying to get help from her. Any kind of help. But her attention was already towards Lance, ignoring my distress.

“I'm glad to see that you're such good friends with Sarah's Pokemon already.”

“I've met her Pikachu several times, both in and out of battle. The Riolu is new.” He turned towards me. “I hope he hasn't been giving you too much trouble?”

I sat up straight when he addressed me. “Hm?! Oh! Um, n-no, not recently,” I said, lying a little. But I could feel Riolu become a little angry with me for the lie. He didn't like me being dishonest, it seemed. “A-actually, Cynthia helped us with a, uh, misunderstanding about a week ago, so things are actually better than before!” I gave him a nervous smile.

“I see.”

“It was moving to see. Sarah really is passionate about her Pokemon.”

“Y-yeah, I am.” I turned towards Lance, asking him the same question that I asked earlier when I came in.

“W-what are you doing here, Lance? I thought you were busy, with, um. League stuff?”

“Cynthia invited me to come out. She said that she's found an ancient connection between Sinnoh and Johto, and asked if I was interested.”

“But aren't you supposed to be at the league right now?”

“Since we're still in the process of obtaining a new Elite Four member to replace me, the League's been closed. I normally have time off from the Pokemon G-Men when the League is open, so I haven't had as much to do for the time being.” He looked at me, a curious expression on his face. “Why, did you want me to be there?”

“W-what?! Uh, no, I guess? I think?” I didn't know if that was the right answer or not. This was making me so nervous, so on edge. I didn't know which way I should play into this. “I just thought that you wouldn't be able to come this far north, is all.” I looked away, cheeks flushing a little. “You never mentioned it in any of our e-mails or calls.”

“It was last minute,” Cynthia interrupted. I looked over at her; she had been watching the conversation. Her legs were crossed, one elbow propped up on a knee as she rested her chin on the back of her hand. She had an inscrutable smile on her face, but the body language told me all I needed to know. She definitely planned this. I felt my face grow hotter as I realized it, and all the implications that could mean. Riolu squeaked as my arms tightened around him.

Cynthia continued. “I had the breakthrough a few days ago, and I thought he'd be interested. I found some text that suggests that Sinnohans may have moved over to Johto, but the connecting thread mentions a cave that no one's been able to find in Johto. Not yet, anyways.”

“She thought that I might like to try and find it.”

“Ah.... I see...”

“Oh! Before I forget, these are some of the books I wanted to show you, Sarah.” Cynthia got up to grab a small handful of books. She placed a few of them on the table in front of me; I was so apprehensive of the situation now that I couldn't even glance at their titles. My Riolu looked at the books curiously. “You might enjoy familiarizing yourself with Sinnoh's myths and traditions. It's a region that's full of beauty and history!”

She handed Lance the other books she held. I watched as she spoke so passionately to him about the ruins that she had found mentioned in her texts. I found myself a little jealous. Cynthia was a beautiful, confident, and an amazing trainer. She had no problems talking to Lance and keeping him invested in a conversation. And I could barely talk to him without becoming extremely flustered, stuttering and stumbling over my words, uncertain of which ones to say at all. I wanted to say all of them, in all the ways and combinations, until I could find the best ones to say to him. But with that desire to talk to him came the same conflict of being noticed, of being watched, of being paid attention to. As much as I wanted it, I didn't want it; because if he saw me, then he was watching me. And if he was watching me, then that meant that I could be judged one way or the other over something I did. Something I said. The way I looked, the look I gave off. I didn't want him to think less of me because of that. Cynthia, on the other hand, didn't seem to care about the mess that her library was in. She knew who she was and confident that it was more than enough to be liked, to be respected. I yearned to have that kind of confidence, that fearlessness. But I had to be liked. I had to be well-liked. I couldn't stand letting someone think worse of me for an accident or lack of attention or knowledge.

So I sat there, quietly watching the two of them as they became more invested in their conversation, until I thought myself forgotten about. The things they spoke about were beyond my current knowledge, and I, for once, could not interrupt. The two of them got up to look at something else in the library, ancient maps I think. I sunk into my seat, letting out a long sigh. Riolu looked up at me from where he sat in my lap, confused and concerned.

<<What are you feeling right now? I know the confusion.>>

Jealousy, I thought back. I was jealous of her. Not to a bitter extent, but... She probably could have-- I couldn't finish the thought, the mere idea of it making me hurt. I wanted to cry. Riolu turned around to press his forehead against mine.

<<I don't understand your feelings, but I do know that you're in pain right now. I hope you can feel better.>>

“Thanks.”

I watched as Cynthia helped Lance find reference materials for the Sinjoh ruins that she talked about. He hadn't heard of it before, and Cynthia speculated it was somewhere far north of his hometown. Lance placed a hand on his chin as he thought, looking carefully at the maps she had on the wall and the documents she showed him. It looked natural, seeing them together. Perhaps if I was in a better place emotionally, I could have enjoyed watching him in a different element.

The two of them seemed to flow well together, I found myself thinking as I observed them. I didn't want to, but it came unbidden. They looked good together. People probably think... nicer things about the two of them together than if it were me with him. I was not pretty. Today, I didn't feel smart enough to even join in their conversation, though I obviously could have picked up the information. I couldn't deny that, and so, the argument inside my head began.

My thoughts struggled between telling me I was worthless as a trainer and proving all of it wrong. I was good at Pokemon battles, and I had defeated the Champions from Kanto and Hoenn, but I didn't choose to take that role of responsibility that came with being Champion. It wasn't something I could do. It required a lot of work, and I wouldn't have been free to continue on my own journey. On the other hand, it wasn't impressive to not take up the position. That was the only thing I was confident about. All those achievements didn't mean that I'd be interesting to someone. Someone that I struggled to initiate a conversation with, and sometimes procrastinated replying to text or email messages to, and thought for hours on a reply, just because I didn't want to worry about him thinking awful of me. But...

My eyes roved over to where the two of them talked. I felt something awful in the pit of my stomach. A pang of jealously.

I wish I could be like her.

Anyone but myself.

Ugh. I hated these thoughts. But once they started, they wouldn't stop coming.

If he got with me, it would be such a joke. The media would have a field day. And why would he even get with me? Because I have a one-sided crush? That's bullshit. Plus, she can talk to him about things, and hold a conversation, and, damn, even get him to travel to another region for just a myth that she thought he might be interested in? I can't even do that. I mean, I never asked him, but why would I? I know he won't show, even if he didn't have all those responsibilities. And I'm strong as a trainer, but I'm not as experienced as her. I can't even accept that my own selfish feelings might be hurting my Pokemon. I thought I knew a lot, but it's just as much hot air as Eusine. And then there's just... UGH. Expecting someone to get with me, looking like this? A Milktank, no a Snorlax-- wait what was that cat they have here? Purugly. I'm so ugly, so awful--

<<Sarah?>>

It was a sound like a cold drop of water. The burning, burdening chaotic swirl of thoughts stopped, for just a moment. Riolu's thought was like a cool, soothing balm. I opened my eyes. I hadn't even realized that I had them shut, tears welling up in the corner. He touched his forehead to mine. After a few moments, I felt a calming wave of energy sweep through my body, relaxing all the muscles that had tensed.

<<Better?>> he asked, thoughts full of concern.

Yeah, I thought back. I hugged him tight, closing my eyes again. That helped a bit. Thanks.

<<Good. Because you got Miss Cynthia's attention.>>

That made me jump. I opened my eyes again to see her standing nearby, a gentle smile on her face.

"Are you doing okay, Sarah?" she asked me quietly.

"Uhm.. Mm… y-yeah. I-I'm okay now."

"That's good. I'd hate for you to feel awful while we're all here." She gently ran her hand along the back of my head, and rested it on my shoulder. "Please, have some tea. Or, if you'd like, there are more beverages in the kitchen. I could get you something to drink.”

I looked at her, then looked over to where Lance was, still invested in the scrolls.

"Uh, um. No, I'm okay. I have water in my bag. Thank you."

It was strange. She had such a caring aura about her that I wanted to break down and cry to her. To let her know about everything that was upsetting me, including how I was both jealous of her, and that I admired her. That I hated my conflicting feelings. That I lacked the courage I would otherwise have, when it came to Lance. I wanted to ask her for advice, but I hated the idea of needing to seek it. Knowing that she showed so much care to me, a trainer she had only met a few times, was enough to make me want to break down.

But my Riolu, Lance, continued to emanate calm energy, keeping me from reacting in a way that I would have hated. He didn't understand it, but he understood enough to know that keeping me calm was what I needed most at the moment. Crying was one of the last things that I had wanted to do.

<<Thank you, Lance.>> I thought to my Riolu. I'd have to remember to give him a good treat later on.

"Do you want to step outside for a bit?" Cynthia asked me suddenly.

I blinked. I looked up at her, confused. Was she… Trying to get me to leave the room? But… did that maybe mean….

As though reading my thoughts, she quickly added, "I could give you a tour of the house. Though, I suppose we should avoid my room, it is a bit messy from all the paperwork…."

"I, uh…"

"Great!” She turned her head, calling out over her should, “Lance, we'll be back in a bit. If you're interested, there's some books I found on the Johto region, pre-dating the Tin and Brass Towers in that corner over there."

She got me to take off my bag and come with her. Riolu followed, though he didn't have much choice as my emotional support Pokemon at the moment. Pika stayed behind; she was enjoying the small snacks that Cynthia had left out. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her.

Cynthia gently guided me towards the back of the house. And by gently, I meant that she gently pushed me towards the back, ignoring all confused protests with cheerful replies. She led me outside, to where there was a wide, empty dirt yard. She let out her Lucario, much to the joy of my own Riolu, who now squirmed in my arms so he could say hello to his newfound hero.

"Gahhh… I'm sorry about all this. I should have thought more carefully about it or let you know that he was coming over."

"Wait, so it was planned?" I said, turning around on her. I didn't know if I should have been more angry or shocked that she knew all along about my feelings towards that Lance, and still let this happened. “Or at least the him coming over part…?"

Cynthia leaned against the banister of the porch. She didn't say anything for a moment, as though she was trying to carefully word her thoughts. I waited, trying not to be angry, trying not to be embarrassed.

"I thought it might help," she finally said.

My emotions decided: I was angry, mad at her, though I couldn't put into words why. But…. I believed her. She really was trying to help me. I could feel it. And as I stared angrily at her, I felt my conviction weaken. Her Lucario stood nearby, palms out; he was using his aura powers to connect our spirits so we could better understand one another.

"...You're really scared about this," she said with a mixture of pity and understanding. “And you're right to feel angry; I should have asked or talked to you about this beforehand.” She slapped her forehead, muttering a simple idiot to herself.

"Y-yeah. Yeah, I really am. Both angry and scared. Because I already did this once, like an idiot, and erroneously assumed that that's what you do to like people. That you just... Decide to. And then you tell them that you want to date them and then you become boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever and it all goes uphill from there. But it didn't. And I'm lucky at all that he still let me get to know him after that. But I guess not enough, if I didn't know that he was coming here..."

Cynthia paused, giving a thoughtful hum. Then, she said in a hopeful tone, "Well, what if he wanted to surprise you? When was the last time you guys got to see each other in person?"

Her questions gave me pause to think. I never considered that, but I also didn't think I was important enough for something like that. Like he'd come all the way out here just to surprise me, when my Pokemon journey meant that I could be anywhere between a city and a route, even stuck somewhere. Sure, I normally tell him where I was heading or planning to go; but there wasn't a guarantee that I would have been here. Or anywhere. Planning a visit was one thing, but a surprise one....?

"C-c'mon now…" I looked away from her, eyes searching ground for things to say. Burnt orange dirt greeted me as an answer. A single rock, a couple of weeds, more dirt. Nothing useful that could be said. “There's no way that he'd... wanna... I mean, I'm not someone important. I'm just a stupid, annoying teen, annoying some guy that I kn--” I stopped, horrified. “Oh Arceus, I should be leaving him alone, shouldn't I?! I bet I seem like some crazy stalker fangirl and-- ugh. Damnit, Sarah, how could you be so stupid!? You're bugging him so much--"

I was cut off as an unlikely hand-chop came down on my head, causing me more surprise than pain. Doink.

"Owwwowowowowow." I clutched at my head, tears curling up in the corners of my eyes from the pain. I looked up at Cynthia, whose hand was still vertical and poised to chop me on the head again. “What'd'you do that for!?”

“What about all those calls?” Her voice was stern.

"Courtesy. He's just doing them out of courtesy, or to be nice, or because I seem crazy enough that if he doesn't he's worried I might--"

Doink.

Another hand-chop to the head.

I rubbed the top of my head, tears welling up in frustration now.

“You need to stop the negative thinking! He wouldn't take the time out of his busy schedule to do all that just because you annoyed him, Sarah. Trust me; I've had my fair share of crazy fans, and I wouldn't let any of them near me like I've let you. I'm not saying this to get your hopes up, but it's clear that he think you're someone worth keeping near. For people like us, where we're constantly being hounded by media and trainers looking for personal gain and not much else, that's a lot. We have our own lives; but it's hard to let people in them. And with the frequency of those calls that you guys have--”

“E-EH?! W-w-wait, y-you know... a-ab-about.... th-those!?” The way she had so casually said it this time had caught me off guard. I don't know why I hadn't froze up at the first mention of the calls mere minute ago.

“Lance told me.” At the sudden deep blush that set across my face, she clarified. “Your Riolu, I mean. ...I see now why the name might have been difficult for you.”

“Oh.” I still felt alarmed, but I relaxed a little. That meant he wasn't sharing stuff like that with other people. Not that I wanted him to. I didn't want to think about what it meant if he was sharing that to someone else, especially not with Cynthia.

“I apologize, for not telling you that he was coming over. You were so afraid and scared to say Lance's name,” she said, nodding towards my Riolu, “that I thought having you come over while he was here might have helped. I didn't let you know because I thought that you might run away... And I thought that you might appreciate the surprise of getting to see him again, in person.”

“I--” I stopped to think about it. She was right; I would have thought about running away. But I realized that, despite all the fluster and frustration and everything else that just happened, it was nice to see him again, in person. I hadn't gotten to see him in person very often the last few years; part of that happily avoiding the awkwardness awarded to me by my thirteen-year-old self, while also us having our own, vastly different paths in life at the time. But, even with the information that Cynthia had now shared with me, I thought that maybe I should keep my distance from him. To leave him alone, and not bug him like I usually did. To not repeat the mistakes of the past. To make sure that I didn't do that.

I really wished I could have been better about that.

“You do like getting to see him again, right?” Cynthia asked me, noticing that my thoughts had started to spiral again. I felt myself flush right up, stammering out a reply.

"I-I… I'mma… Y-you're n-n-not… wr-wrong about… about that…." I crossed my arms, looking away for a moment so I wouldn't have to face the consequences of admitting it.

Cynthia laughed. "Who knows. Maybe this might help you get closer to him, so you're not always stuttering!"

"I'M NOT STUTTERING!!!" I shouted at her, face red. “I just…. Fumble… and stumble… over my, uh, words………."

"Can you even refer to him by name?" she asked, sounding concerned for a moment.

"Err, um… that is to say…. Uh…." I hung my head. "N-no… n-not r-really."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Um…." I paused to think. Why do I have trouble using his name? ...ah. That's why. I looked down, and I picked at the sleeve of my shirt. I didn't want to say the words.

"Because I don't think I'm worthy of saying it."

There was a solemn moment between the two of us. Putting it into words made it feel so surreal. It made no sense to think that way, or feel that way. After all, I was a human. I was a damn Champion; I've beaten his ass at Pokemon battles more times than it was worth, when I was much younger. So then, why did that not mean something? Why was I venerating a name that anyone could have? Even my own Pokemon had suffered because of those feelings.

Then, as I was contemplating the absurdity of it, Cynthia started laughing, wiping tears from her eyes as she approached me.

"Wh-WHAT?!" I shouted, embarrassed and confused. "I REALLY DO THINK- er, feel… That way… I guess."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for laughing. But just… The way you said it--"

"Ugh! Why did I even come out here with you?! I should have just gone off and trained!" I turned away, crossing my arms angrily. She came up and gave me a consoling hug.

"You really shouldn't feel that way about yourself," she said quietly. "Regardless of whether or not you're in love. It's not good to hate yourself like that. You are worth so much, and I see so much potential in you, both as a trainer and as a person. Don't give up on your dreams, because someone told you to feel this way once."

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will myself not to cry.

“W-what if...” It was a struggle to get the words out. “Wh-what.. i-if.... it w-was... m-m-more... se...several... people?”

“Not even then. Their lies are not what's true about you.”

Her words and compassion had finally gotten me to cry. Feelings that I kept pushed down inside myself burst forth. I turned around and pressed my face against her, trying to hide it, but so painfully aware in some part of my brain that it would result in some snot on her coat. It was embarrassing. But she didn't show anything other than kindness as I broke down. She soothed me with comforting words and hushes, gently rubbing my back. When I had finally stopped, spent of the emotions that I had kept bottled up, she recalled her Lucario and guided me back inside. We stopped in the kitchen for a moment; Cynthia suggested that I get something to drink before returning to the library.

Riolu had followed behind us, watching everything with quiet awe. I could feel that he had a query for me, but he couldn't quite formulate it clearly. And even if he had, I wasn't sure that I could answer him.

“Lance,” Cynthia called out sweetly to my Riolu. “Do you understand what just happened here?”

He shook his head, mouth slightly open.

“Ri.”

“Sometimes, when things hurt for us, we try to hide it. But if we keep doing that, then it gets to be too much to hold back. Sometimes you have to let yourself cry. Or scream. Or whatever it is that your emotions are making you feel. Sarah seems to be especially fond of holding them back. I can't say she's particularly good at hiding them, though.”

“Thanks, Cynthia,” I said wryly, face heating up as I took another drink. It was embarrassing having her explain things to my Pokemon, because it also felt like she was trying to wink-wink-nudge-nudge me about how to solve my own emotional issues. I should have been more than capable of doing that myself, without the explanation from someone else. She continued.

“So if you feel like she's ever in need of letting out her feelings, you might need to pull her aside and get her to open up to you. It might not be as easy as it was today. Sometimes, in order to protect herself from her feelings, she might fight you on it. But you'll have to be patient and wait her out, letting her know that you're there for her.”

“Ri...”

Riolu jumped up to hug me, startling me for a moment.

<<I promise to help take care of you!>> His feeling was sincere. The energy behind it, the strength of his feelings, almost made me cry again. I shook my head, trying to focus elsewhere.

When I calmed down, we walked back to the room. I was staring at the door again, mentally preparing myself once more to enter. The calm that I had gained was slowly giving way once more to nervousness. I found myself worrying that it would show all over my face that I had an emotional meltdown. (Cynthia told me it didn't look like I had been crying, but I wasn't convinced.) I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down while it felt like every fiber of my being was racing. My skin felt like ants were crawling all over it. I rubbed one of my arms and took a final deep breath.

Cynthia smiled at me.

“You ready?”

“Y-yeah. I'll be fine.” I picked up my Riolu, hugging him tightly. “I've got this Lance with me to help keep me calm.”

“Ri!” His tail wagged.

“We're back!” Cynthia called out when we entered. I could see Lance's tuft of red hair over by the table that we had been seated at earlier.

“Welcome back!” he replied. We walked over to him, and I could see Pika curled up beside his lap, taking a nap. I instantly felt envious of her. To just so casually....! Lance noticed that I was looking at her, and gave a small laugh.

“I came over to read some of the books, when I noticed that Pika had been left behind. I thought it was odd, but she didn't seem to be bothered by being separated from you. In fact, she curled right up next to me and fell asleep.”

I blushed. My Riolu looked up at me.

<<She felt confident that I could help,>> he said. <<I'm not sure why that is. Miss Cynthia was the one to help you the most! I think she just wanted to eat the cookies without sharing...>>

I frowned when he told me that. I put him down and picked up Pika, sitting down on the couch as I did so. I held her up, away from me, waiting for her to wake up.

Pika gave a sleepy little yawn. She squeaked when she saw me staring at her with an unamused expression. She squirmed, giggling as she tried to get out of my grip. I let go of her with a short sigh, and she fell into my lap. With a carefree attitude, she climbed back up the couch to sit on my shoulder, nuzzling me. She was definitely trying to be trouble.

“Honestly...”

“Is everything okay? It's not often that I don't see her without you.”

I jumped up for a second, forgetting that he was there. I tensed up, and feigned ignorance. “Hm? Oh, uh, Riolu said that she wanted to eat all the cookies and not share.” I gave him a nervous smile. “Some days, y'know?” I had no idea what I was trying to get at, honestly. But I hoped it was enough of an answer to avoid any future questions.

Now that I was no longer giving my Pokemon a condescending stare, knowing what her real motive was, I realized that I had sat next to him. On the same couch. I felt my face heat up and I slowly started to scoot away. Ah, but that's too obvious. Ah, quick! I patted the space next to me, motioning for Riolu to come sit there. He tilted his head at me, but obliged, climbing onto the couch. I scooted over more so he could sit between us; Lance raised an eyebrow at me.

“Ah, I forgot to mention it earlier, but Riolu's really excited to meet you!” I gave him a nervous laugh, and fumbled around for a further explanation. “Though I guess that much was obvious earlier... Ahaha... I thought, um. Well, uh... I don't really know how else to explain it, so just! Accept that he wanted to sit next to you!!”

Smooth.

As if picking up on the cue, Riolu turned towards Lance and wagged his tail. It wasn't disingenuous, as he really was excited to meet his namesake.

<<Hi, I'm Lance! I was named after you!!>> He stood up on the couch and held out his paw to Lance.

Panic coursed through me. My face instantly turned red and I grabbed Riolu. I pulled him away, hand over his mouth while trying to resist the urge to grumble something into his ear.

“What... did he say?” Lance sounded concerned, but I could hear muffled laughter from Cynthia, seated across from us. I had forgotten about her, but now wasn't the time to deal with her.

“O-Oh! Uhhh...ummm... y-y'know... how some.. Pokemon, just... say.... silly....things? To, um, their heroes?” I winced, feeling like the lie wasn't much better. My Pokemon wasn't satisfied with it either, and frowned. I could feel the dissatisfaction, right there, in my arms.

“I can't say that I know... Seeing as I haven't had any Pokemon talk to me in the same way that Riolu seems to with you.”

“Oh!” I let him go, and Riolu crossed his arms, pouting. “That's, um...” That's great! I wanted to say, but I knew that it was a very enviable thing to be able to understand Pokemon clearly. In specific words.

“That's, err, too bad, I think?” I relaxed, relieved that my Riolu hadn't somehow instantly been able to connect to and bond with Lance like he had with me. “I mean, it sucks, when they um, just have a lot of cool things they want to say to you! He thinks you're really cool!”

“And what else does Riolu think,” Cynthia said from the sidelines. I gave her a sharp look, and she stifled her laughter.

“Okay, I don't know what Cynthia thinks is so funny, but he really does look up to you!” I said, finally giving a genuine statement. “He's wanted to meet you for awhile now. And, it's, uh, it is nice to see you outside the league, for once. And not because of work!” I added, remembering that one time I had run into him. He was on a mission with the Pokemon G-Men, and somehow the events of that created this... issue. “I was just, um, surprised earlier to see you anywhere but Kanto or Johto, really. So I'm sorry if it seemed like I was being rude.”

Lance seemed to be confused by what I was saying, and I rolled my eyes and shook my head, frustrated at myself.

“Nevermind. Sorry if that didn't make any sense.”

He gave me a strange look, perhaps because my own words were strange enough without all the context on my end.

“I accept your apology, though I'm not really sure what it's for.”

“Um, 'cuz I thought maybe it seemed like I didn't want you here?”

“It didn't seem that way to me.”

I paused, trying not to overthink on what he just said. “I—oh, um. Good.” I nodded, trying to sound certain of myself.

An awkward silence followed, but it was shortly interrupted by Cynthia.

“Sarah,” she turned to me. “Where is your next badge located?”

Bless her for changing the subject to something less nerve-wracking. Riolu perked up at the mention of the Gym Challenge, and uncrossed his arms. I looked up at nothing in particular, trying to recall where I was told to go next. It was on the west side of Sinnoh, somewhere closer to Twinleaf Town than this side of Mt. Coronet.

“Umm... I think the city's called Canalave?”

“Then you should definitely make sure to train up your Riolu!” Cynthia looked excited, eyes brimming with energy and the teasing forgotten. “The Gym Leader is Byron; he's a steel-type user. Would you like to stay for awhile and train with me?”

I blinked. The offer was extremely honoring, and I couldn't figure out a reason to say no. “Sure, I'd love to! Thank you very much Cynthia.” I looked down towards the little Pokemon beside me. My Riolu jumped up, looking starry-eyed at Cynthia, tail wagging excitedly. “I'm sure Riolu would love it too, if he got to train with your Lucario!”

“Of course. I'd be more than happy for them to train together!”

“Would it be okay if I joined the two of you for your training?” Lance asked suddenly.

I felt myself freeze. I was not expecting that. I looked at him, scrutinizing him. Was there a joke in this? A prank? I was suddenly suspicious, wondering if somehow he and Cynthia were in on something. But if they were planning something like this all along, I couldn't tell; not from him. I quickly looked towards Cynthia, who clasped her hands together, smiling.

“That would be great! Incidentally, how long are you planning to stay in Sinnoh?”

“I've got a few days before I need to head to Blackthorn City.”

“Excellent! Then it's settled. We'll all train together!”

So maybe it wasn't planned. That didn't stop Cynthia from flashing me a devious smile right after. I couldn't help but feel apprehensive that she had something else up her long, black sleeves.

“That reminds me!” She pulled out a poster from under one of the books, and showed it to us. It had a drawing of a starry night sky, with what looked like shooting stars falling across it. Under that was the shrine, and the area around it was decorated.

“We're having a festival in a few days. Because we're away from any of the larger cities, the night sky is really clear. It makes it easy for us to see a meteor shower that happens once a year. It's one of the few things that draws visitors to Celestic Town, giving them revenue. The both of you should go! I'll be busy helping the town run it, so I won't be able to show you guys around, but I think you'll have plenty of fun exploring it without me!”

I felt my insides go hollow, instantly recognizing what Cynthia was doing. She was setting up an opportunity... for... a... I couldn't finish the thought, too frazzled to think it. I could only hope that, between the blanched feeling I was having and the inevitable blush that was to follow, my complexion looked relatively normal. Because I wanted to scream. And run away. And never come back.

Cynthia just gave me that, sweet, innocent, inscrutable smile, now decipherable, as a little nudge forward. She knew exactly what she was doing, and I hated that I wanted to thank her for it, too.

[tigerdrop]

okay kind of obsessed with the body swap art tho. idk why i just like benrey getting to bully gordon with his own body, his own voice, and i like gordon trying to navigate whatever weird shit benrey’s got going on. gordon not being able to figure out or control whatever organs in benrey’s throat produce sweet voice so it’s just spewing whatever emotions he’s feeling at random (including Horny? uh oh. can’t hide that as easily as a surprise boner can you gordon?)

this ask kicked me into actually thinking about it and your brain is so huge. massive. i lost control

last night i was struggling to articulate thoughts for the body swap thing but this is kickstarting me. i. really love bodyswap stuff........(sighing) i am yet again having to confront the fact that i latched onto an embarrassing number of Things after having first read about them in [REDACTED]. truly hate being alive

so like......potions. you can get into a whole lot of weird stuff with potions. truly loving that darnolds 5-minute existence gives me an excuse to think of the stupidest horny potions scenarios

and why in the fuck wouldnt he have a bodyswap potion just chillin in his lab. why wouldnt benrey crack that bad boy open and take a sip while darnolds bitching at him "dont you touch any of those goddamn potions. im not gonna tell you which ones which so if you die, you die"

gordon claps benrey on the back afterwards like "well, thats a risk im perfectly happy for him to take" but uh oh you fucking buffoon. the touch is what activates it. and shit just starts spinning and schlorping in his mind and he nearly falls over clutching the lab bench next to him and when he cracks his eyes back open, hes........shorter. and everybodys asking if somebodys okay but that somebody isnt him and hes kind of miffed about that

and then gordons head turns and he sees Himself being steadied on his feet by tommy and darnold and hes like.......guys? guys. hello! and the sound of benreys voice coming out of him with that irritated and loud timbre makes everybody turn to face him........b/c that is so insanely weird coming from him

im like way into the idea of benreys, like, Eye Darkness Thing transferring to gordons face when their bodies are swapped, too. its just his malevolent energies manifesting physically no matter what body hes in

Wait god wait. Like. Benrey in Gordon's body and he gets horny for some reason and has to live Gordon's fucking pained life of the suit edging the hell outta him- Bc now Gordon can actually fucking jerk off for the the first time in days. No edging bullshit from the hev suit

benreys newfound appreciation for why gordons such a bitch all the time

RRRRRRRRRRR gordon able to go wild beating his meat that night finally but right before he does he stops because hes looking down at. 8)!

YES EXACTLY....... gordon freeman humbled by the sight of benreys huge meat. except its his meat now 

at first he only feels mildly weird about jacking it when hes not even in his own body right now but hes been edged for days now and hes just thinking "if i can just get this out of the way now, ill be clear-headed for however fucking long im stuck in black mesa. maybe this is why ive been so goddamn stupid lately. yeah"

but then he gets some time and space to himself at long last and unzips and the shock of seeing benreys huge uncut dick instead of his own brings him back to reality like "?oh my god what the fuck am i doing"

embarrassment! guilt! but also hes still fuckin horny and eventually curiosity wins out. whats the harm, right. its not like he has to say anything about it. and gordon freeman is (mostly) heterosexual and hes never been this up close and personal with a foreskin before and hes just......curious. scientifically

maybe hes even.......locked himself inside one of the company restrooms while hes at it. just to make sure hes got privacy. and there is a mirror right there........  he was gonna just bust one out and leave as fast as he can but now hes curious

starts. thumbing the hem of his shirt under benreys vest. starts lifting it up experimentally just to see where all that hair leads. out of curiosity. and seeing the curve of benreys stomach peek out in the mirror makes him hiccup on sweet voice inadvertently 

weirdly enough theres a part of him thats both relieved and disappointed that hes never seen that color before

he never envisioned that seeing benrey like this would be a turn-on but like......with that vest and that helmet on he just looks like some kind of fuckin roundish rectangle shape. but now gordons intimately familiar with how his body feels to move around in......what hes gotta look like underneath all that armor and ill-fitting work clothes......and the hornier he gets the stupider he gets

takes off the helmet.......just to test the waters. if somebody manages to bust in, thats not so weird to explain. and hes surprised by the shock of black hair he finds under there. he doesnt know what he was expecting....but honestly, benrey looks, like, kind of nice like that. more like a person

im slightly obsessed with the idea of benrey just not even registering as a Real Guy, physically, to gordon, one that he could possibly be attracted to, until hes out of his work uniform.......like hes more of an icon of a person than anything up until that point. pure signifier. no substance

like......you know......the equivalent of how benreys HL model registers to 99% of people watching the series. sure, thats not necessarily anything youd register as "hot", most likely, but then u peel that away and its like........Oh

the model is the icon and the representation of the icon is the real

and gordon runs a hand thru benreys hair and tries out one of those shitty little smirks benrey likes to use on him and the effect is.......dizzying. is that him? is that what benrey really looks like to him?? he feels fuckin salacious doing this

he can even.........get his face up close to the mirror and really look at those teeth

run his tongue over them experimentally.......feel their sharp edges.......and, no, theyre not sharp like a knife, but they are definitely pointy. and surprisingly well-kept......hes never seen benrey brush his teeth before but clearly he must. theyre so smooth and slick under his fingertips

and then he flushes and drops his hand b/c hes getting some weird fucking thoughts right now........but looking back up at himself in the mirror and seeing benreys face all wide-eyed and red makes the issue worse

oh, you really like seeing him look like that, dont you. and gordons pissed b/c this isnt even his fucking brain but its still whispering the exact same neurotic, self-defeating shit at him that hes trying very hard to tamp down

and then he starts getting a little crazier. taking off the vest. he can explain that, no problem. its just kind of hot. heavy. he needed a breather! its normal. just in here to splash some water on his face and cool down, nothing wrong with that. but that just makes benreys shirt all the easier to access.......and he tugs the hem of it just a little higher and looks at himself in the mirror and runs a thumb over the curve of his stomach, where the hair is thickest, and he shivers

gordon freeman is deeply normal and would never get off to the sight of a guy with arms the size of his head tentatively dragging the hem of his shirt up, just for gordon to look at him closer

hands shaking from nerves as he decides to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning and he sees more and more hair-dusted skin and muscle and fat and a thin sheen of sweat reveal itself

> i could see gordon trying to tense and flex the muscles a bit just because hes normal

HE IS, AND HE WOULD

he doesnt know when "being horny b/c hes been pent up and edged for days and he just needs to get his rocks off real quick so he can be normal again" turned into "being horny b/c the way benrey looks under his uniform is scary good to him" but if he thinks about that too hard hes gonna have a panic attack

tells himself that its all just because he hasnt been able to get off. thats why hes thinking this shit. hell stop thinking it once he nuts

> hey this is a quick aside but yknwo how he talks to himself in third person sometimes? what if he does and then kinda does a mental double take at how his name sounds coming out of benreys mouth, with his voice. ok thats it goodbye

oh ym god thats making me go insane. doing it by accident and then.........saying it again. on purpose. just to hear benreys voice doing it

getting one knee hitched up onto the sink and leaning forward with his arm braced against the mirror and his forehead leaning on his arm and tugging benreys dick (no, idiot, thats your dick right now, stop thinking about it) and tentatively groaning out his own name and it comes out so hoarse and desperate that it punches him straight in the gut (too bad, hes thinking about it, he cant not think about it, not with the way he looks and sounds right now)

> remember in the series when benrey called him gordon one (1) time and he noticed immediately and was like..i think thats the first time youve called me by my name.

he looks so fucked out and slutty in that mirror that it almost makes him pass out

eyes darting like hes trying to commit every single detail of how he looks right now to memory (b/c he is. he fucking is. he wants to make benrey look like this so fucking bad. just for him. wreck him and get him flushed and sweaty and panting and moaning gordons name and jesus christ, okay, thats where his brains taking him. okay. cool)

hes dizzying himself thinking about it. he knows benreys hot for him by this point, theoretically. assuming his weird come-ons werent just jokes. benrey would probably let him do this to him. benrey would probably want him to touch his dick. gordon thinks about how good it might feel for his own hand to be on benreys dick and he cant get himself solidly into one headspace or another - hes gordon, hes benrey, he wants to touch, he wants to be touched, he wants to feel his own hand on this dick (and god, maybe he could. maybe he could ask. wouldnt that be crazy.)

benrey in gordons suit and gordons body and gordons face leaning over him, b/c fuck, he really is tall compared to benrey, hes figured that one out awful quick. and gordons (his) hand on his (benreys) dick and stroking him and leering down at him with those dark, dark eyes that dont even really look like his eyes, anymore, not with the way theyre shaded over, and hearing his (benreys) (his) voice moaning out his (gordons) (definitely gordons) name and all the little "pleases" and "thank yous" that he cant stop letting out b/c benreys voice was made for it, made to beg and whine and ask so nicely, and his heads spinning as he comes all over the fucking mirror and sink

> i wonder if this could be combine with the ideas that parts of the self or like mind is still a bit left behind if that makes sense, like with benrey also wanting this that part of the reason gordon wants to say those things

"do you want to fuck him or do you want to be him?" well my good bitch, perhaps you can have a little of both. welcome to my personal hell

hes never come so hard in his fucking life and the noise that rips out of him when he does, finally, after days of being jerked around (ha ha) makes his ears burn with shame

now if you really wanna go crazy. imagine that benreys up and walking around this whole time b/c being edged by his stupid broken suit is making it impossible for him to sleep, and he hears........all of this. stops and presses himself flat agains tthe wall to listen

he cant actually get into the bathroom to scare the shit out of gordon/offer to join in/etc, b/c this stupid flesh body of gordons cant even noclip, but he can press his ear to the door and. listen. and he can flush all the way down to his chest when he hears gordon in there, moaning out his own name with benreys voice

so thats what gordon wants him to do, huh. thats what hes thinking about.

poor benrey, tho. he gets to experience just a lick of the endless fucking suffering that gordon goes thru every single day just by being alive, and "the HEV suit trying and failing to suck him off to completion while his dick twitches against the hard metal of the interior every time gordon groans in there" is just one small part of it

anyway . see ya. my final message

[oh-for-fic-sake]

It All Worked Out In The End

When the parents are away the kids will play... or fight one of the two.

I am genuinely have a too much fun with these imagines.

Masterlist

Warninngs: Swearing ,Mentions of fighting ,Hinting at Drugging and Rape (nothing explicit)

Jaskier stood befor you in your rented room dunking the bloodied rag into a jug of cool water before wringing it out then lightly dabbing your eye brow and angry claw marks on your face. Ciri stood off to the side apprehensive watching the bard tend to the wound.

"Got her good tho didnt i?" He smirked at that trying so hard to be disappointed in you but he really couldnt. 

"Yes I even won a bit of coin, lets just hope the other two dont come back until this has gone down we can explain the black eye and cut but not the scratches."

"Yeah ... I still have all my teeth tho!" Cheerful in your victory utterly pleased with yourself Ciri shook her head at this then spoke up in disbelief.

"Where did that even come from?" You grinned wincing again as it hurt the bruises that were forming on your cheek and jaw.

"Well my sweet Cirilla a few years of pent up anger can do wonders for your right hook or in my case bitch slap" She snorted relaxing as she saw that you were to all intents and purposes unharmed. She wandered over to the bags on the chair by the bed.

"Wait Jask did you say coin? You put coin down?" Jaskier shrugged in response to your question dipping the rag in to the water again.

"Hey they started taking bets at the bar, I wasnt gonna join in but then looked at you , there was no way you werent gonna put her down ,your face looked a lot like Geralts growley face"  He swiped over your face one last time there was a pregnant pause.

"So you gonna split the coin?"

"Nope" He said popping the p dropping the now pink cloth with a wet slap on the table. Your younger sister from another mister walked back over to you with a small vial. Poppy milk or better known to you as morphine.

"Yennefer left us some poppy milk for emergencies, you should take some now before you really start feeling it.How are we going to keep this from them?" Waving a hand motioning to your damaged face as Jaskier prepaird the medicine. If you were honest you didnt think that far ahead at the time you just needed to ko that Bitch -which you did thank you very much- but you knew what Ciri was getting at Geralt and Yennefer were a couple of mother hens... allbeit slightly more intimidating... and dangerous... and volatile. 

"Not sure we can" You replied nodding greatfully at Jaskier who offered cup of water that held a dose of the pain killer. Knocking it back before pulling faces at the bitter taste.

"Oh god! Ugh no" you shook your head befor quickly eating a cube of cheese from the small platter in front of you. The singer shrugged ignoring your outbust looking between the both of you.

"All i do know is that your going to be in trouble when they do find out" He said in a sing song voice you slumped back in the chair grunting.

"Oh yer how'd you figure its just me in shit Jask" Sputtering he glared at you

"Maybe because your the one who decided to turn savage and attack a whore! You even bit her bit" You tapped a pointing finger on the table

"Ok fisrt things first she hit me first got a strict rule never throw the fisrt punch but allways throw the last and second yeah fair enough i bit her but she was fighting dirty. And you could have pulled me off her, you also placed a bet on me which was encouraging it.If im going down your coming with me." He gaped at you in disbelief.

"What about her she didn't intervene either?" 

"She also didn't bet on me."

"I don't think Geralt himself could have dragged y/n off her" Ciri quipped from the side lines you nodded at her continuing.

"Not only that im pretty sure they left you in charge bard so really when you think about it its all your fault" He pailed as you and Ciri high fived.

"I need to lie down" Wobbling to the bed flopping on it face first.You and Ciri shared a look after a few beats of silence befor being asked the enevitable question 

"So how did it start anyway?" 

"Thats what id like to know" Came from the bed as Jaskier sat up.

"Not really sure she was just running her mouth i geuss" You lied patting her head befor freighning tirednes making your way to the other bed deciding that she never has to know the real reason to you cat fighting with a whore. A few days later after the scratches and swelling had faded the others returned they hastily made their way up to the room. Geralt started speaking as he stormed through the door.

"Can some one explain to me why iv just had to pay for a whores loss of earnings And medical costs?" You balked

"Loss of earnings I knocked out her teeth surely shes making double on blowies" Jaskier snorted into his mug

"What the fuck happened?" Geralt growled out not finding your comment amusing in the slightest as he saw the clawed bruised cheek, blackened eye and cut on your brow he quickly gave Ciri and Jaskier the once over fearing youd all been attacked, relife flooded him when he saw they were ok . Yennefer gasped striding past the seething witcher stopping in front of you placing a soothing hand on you uninjured cheek.

"Who did this?" She whispered you beamed at her nuzzling into her palm.

"Dont worry I dealt with it. Besides I got off lightly you should see my opponent" Ciri nodded in agreement befor breifly explaining.

"Y/n had a fight with a whore, beat her into the ground actually then knocked her out with a single back hander. Was quite immpressive to watch"

"Made a satisfying sound to" Jaskier added Geralt looked between the three of you.

"So Y/n had a cat fight with a whore?" You all nodded

"And did enough damage to not only knock out teeth but keep her out of work for a few days?" The three of you shared a look and nodded the hunter sighed a deep breath crossing him arms.

"Do i want to know what started it?" 

"Probably not" was you offered choosing once again to keep the fact it was for Ciri's sake to yourself, trying to trick you in to selling yourself for a night was one thing but planning to drug and sell Ciri was a completely different ball game. She was family.No one was getting away with that not on your watch its lucky you caught on to the hushed conversation. You dont want to think about what could have happend if you hadnt been paying attention. Geralt threw his hand up looking towards Yennefer when it was clear none of you were going to elaborate any more then that. Aproaching he droped his swords and bag taking Yenns place tilting your face to inspect your wounds.

"Well they didnt do much damage or manage to fracture anything ,even your nose which is good." He leaned in kissing your forhead chasetly. As yenn preceeded to pull you over to where her bag was on the bed with a healing balm in hand stippling it over the cut on your face.

"Fighting a whore honestly, can't leave you alone for a few days with out you getting into trouble. I hope you know your in trouble missy" She muttered as she flitted threw her bag then began fussing over your split knuckles applying a different ointment.

"And the money we had to give her for this whole incident is comming out of your allowance starting today" Geralt grunted from the table Jaskier and Ciri watched in peels of laughter as you tried squirming away from the sorceress pleading with the unimpressed white haired male you continued protesting at Geralt's decision until he pinned you with a stern look that shut you up. Yeah he wasnt a happy camper.

"And your grounded from singing bard" Jaskier stopped laughing 

"What?"

"you were told to take care of them and it doesnt take an idiot to guess why this is considerably heavier you dont make this much from singing alone" he growled out lifting up jaskiers bulging coin pouch .All in all the couple took it better than any of you thought they would, you were relieved they didnt push the issue as if they knew what had kicked it off they probaly would have burnt that whore house to the ground, whores and all... Jaskier did share his winnings tho so it all worked out in the end,Jaskier made a weeks worth of coin in a night, you saved Ciri ,let out some pent up aggression and Geralt didnt have kill anyone.

[duhragonball]

Nanwum IV toolboxkit

I have a love/hate relationship with the word “tool”.  On the one hand, tools are awesome.    I like holding a big screwdriver and thinking about all the screws I can loosen with it.    I ordered a thing at work yesterday and I can’t wait for it to arrive.   There’s a rush of power in knowing some object will solve a bunch of problems.   Look out, screws.

On the other hand, it annoys me how people use the term “tool” in a more abstract sense, like statistical “tools” or using a flow chart to figure out what to do.    I can’t hold any of that crap, so calling it a tool feels like a bait-and-switch.   But I can appreciate the power of the term.   If you can liken a thing to a power drill, then you have my attention.   

Anyway, this weekend is for making preparations for National Novel Writing Month, which starts next Sunday, so I thought it would be useful to go over the stuff that I use to get me through it.  

1) The NaNoWriMo website.

Back in 2017, I seriously considered not even bothering with the website, because I figured it had nothing to offer.    I’m the one doing all the work, right?   But tracking progress is an effective motivator, and I like being able to see a chart that shows how well I’m doing.    There’s some bugs in it.    For some reason it doesn’t show my Camp Nano April 2018 as being complete, and when I tried to fix it, it doubled the word count instead.  

It’s also useful for where I’m at today.    Now that I’ve done this thing a few times, I can measure current performance against past years.  November 2018 was my personal best, so I’m going to use that as a model for this year.    I don’t need to beat 2018-me, but I do need to remind myself that I’ve performed this well in the past.  

2) George R. R. Martin motivational desktop wallpaper.

I started doing this as a joke, but looking at this dude sitting at his computer, not writing is a much more powerful motivator than I ever thought possible.  The idea is that if I minimize the writing window to do something else, I have to look this dude in the eye before I can look up Robocop clips on YouTube.   I’ve had months where I was struggling to meet the goal, and then I went “Oh, yeah, I forgot to change my desktop pic, and it pushes me over the finish line.   It’s like Popeye eating spinach.   

Now the Tone Police will take issue with something like this, and call it arrogant.   “How dare you put down a highly successful fantasy author just to make yourself feel confident,” they’ll say as they wag their finger.   “Don’t you care that you might be making procrastinators feel bad?”  To that I say: fuck’em.  

See, I’m a world-class procrastinator in my own right.   I have to get hyped for this stuff every year, because that’s the only way I can build up enough momentum to see it through.    Like all Sith Lords, I have to call upon all of my emotions -- fear, anger, pride, fernweh -- to fuel the creative monster.  I don’t make a dime on this, so if I can’t take some bloody satisfaction out of it then what’s the point?   

I’m pretty sure George doesn’t even know I do this, but in case he’s reading this, let me address him specifically: George, I’ve cranked out three of these Nanwums and you still haven’t finished Winds of Winter, which is well on its way to becoming the Duke Nukem Forever of modern fantasy.   I don’t know if you got soft, like Rocky in Rocky IV, or maybe you’ve lost your confidence like Rocky in Rocky III, but you have to kindle a fire under your ass, even if it’s a silly fire, like fear of dying before the book goes to print, or getting it done just to spite assholes like me.   But find something and use it.  

3) Kenny Omega vs. Sonny Kiss, AEW Dynamite 10/21/2020

This was a first-round match in a tournament for the right to challenge for the AEW World title, and it was Kenny’s big return to singles action, so I guess the idea here was to make him look strong by having him crush Sonny Kiss in under 15 seconds.   I’ve seen blowouts in wrestling before, but this one speaks to me on a different level, and I’m sorely tempted to swap out my GRRM image with this shot of in-the-zone Kenny Omega.

Because I feel this right now.    This isn’t like last year or the year before, where I got behind working on stuff in October so I wasn’t fully prepared.   I got all caught up a few weeks ago, and I have eight days to get ready.    I haven’t written a thing in weeks, and I’m itching to get back to it.    I want a big Day One total to start the month off, and seeing this match makes me want to aim even higher than 7000 words.    Can I hit 10,000 in one day?    The Cleaner sure thinks so.  Clapclap-clap clap clap.   

4) Focus Writer

You can check it out for yourself at https://gottcode.org/focuswriter/

The main selling point for Focus Writer is that it can be used for “distraction free” writing, in that it’s default setting makes it tricky to minimize the window to do other stuff.   But I turned that off a while back.    For my purposes, I just need the word counter.  

One thing I learned while editing work instead of writing from scratch is that you can just set the word count goal to 100 words.    That way, the percentage displayed at the bottom of the screen will keep track of how many words you’ve written in that session.   So if you write 1275 new words, the counter will say 1275%.  

I used to set actual goals, like 3500 words for the day or whatever, but I found myself constantly trying to calculate what 53% of that is, and that ended up being a huge distraction in itself.    So now I just stick to the 100 word “goal” and use it to track my actual progress, rather than setting lofty goals that I may not need to actually hit.   The Nano website does that for me anyway.

5) The Adventures of Dumplin

I’m essentially adapting the events of Dragon Ball Xenoverse 1 into this story, so I could break out my PS3 and play it through again to remind me of all the stuff I wanted to use from 2015, but it’s a lot easier to just watch someone else play it instead.   Team FourStar’s playthrough of the Xenoverse games is some of their best material, as far as I’m concerned, and knowing this is one of my go-to references is going to make this November pretty awesome.   

I’m not sure I could, or should, work Dumplin into my fic.  If I did, he couldn’t be the same guy who saved the day in this LP series, because I’m having Luffa do all that.   Early on, I envisioned a scene where she wakes up one morning after a night of heavy drinking and finds Dumplin in bed with her, but that seemed a little too goofy to use.    But I want you to have that mental picture anyway, so I’m writing about it here.

6) Diet Pepsi

Straight Edge, Hard Core.    Stephen King’s a wuss for using cocaine to help him write.   

[thewritingcaptain]

Pepperony Pizza: Part 1

“I’m just glad to hear anything, Potts. Especially your voice again.” He stopped, sighing again. Pepper looked at him again, her brows drawing together. “What?”

Notes: Yeah, okay, totally unnecessary to title this that, but I’ve been wanting to, like, since I joined the fandom. It’s just to punny to pass up. Sue me.

Also, notice, this says it’s parts, not chapters, because this isn’t a coherent story so much as a series of oneshots about them. In canon, out of canon, random, fluffy, and yeah, a good chunk of the time, likely smutty. So. You’ve been warned ahead of time. 

As always, let me know if anyone wants to be on the taglist, and enjoy!

(WARNING: Talk about trauma, to some extent, and smutty near the end. Post-IM1/AUy.)

The days almost seemed… longer.

It was odd. You’d think, spending three months imprisoned in a cave… well, every day seemed to last a week, and you would think it couldn’t get much longer than that.

Yet it had been mere days since he’d arrived home - only three - and the days had seemed to last… forever. Maybe it was just a combination of constantly being tired and sore and feeling a bit like a cranky child when he had to be in public for too long, or maybe it had more to do with his newfound appreciation for life. It was hard to tell. 

After his press conference the first day, he’d gone home, and he hadn’t left the house since. But he’d had a dozen or so visitors over the course of the past few days, and at least double that in phone calls. A lot of them he’d forced on to Pepper, who had thankfully taken it like a champ. 

Pepper. That woman had to be his savior. Not just because of her help since he’d gotten home, but in general. She’d run his life for him for the past… oh, upwards of five years at least, but his brain was still rather muddled, so give or take a few years. And she’d dealt with all his bullshit, his attitude, his responsibilities, and never said a word about it, except for rare occasions where he really deserved it. 

Hell, he’d never even given her a raise. He should do that. He should double her current salary. 

But more than what she did at home, she was what he had held on to those three months in the cave. When Yinsen has asked him if he had any family, he had to tell him nothing, because he truly had nothing. They weren’t really family; they were barely even friends, probably, as far as she was concerned. But she was all he thought about when he’d been asked that. She was all he had, all he really wanted to come back to. 

And when he’d stepped off that plane… it took everything he had not to run to her. It helped that it had been taking everything he had to stay upright at the time, or he just might have, willpower or no. But if she had responded to his sarcasm with anything but, he probably would have returned it in earnest. Hell, it had been three months. She had a right to feel however she wanted, to leave if she wanted to, but she hadn’t. She was still there. 

And he was happy about that. Even if he was exasperated at her fussing over him like he was an invalid or a child incapable of making his own decisions. 

Which explained why he was currently being checked out by a doctor who had set up shop in the middle of his living room, despite his protests that he had no need for it, and she was sitting in the chair across from him, looking oddly smug. 

He’d tried to resist for the first few minutes when the doctor had shown up, but in the end, he really did need treatment for some of his injuries. So he let him work on him with few protests. The only thing he did refuse was the cast he wanted to put his arm in and the IV fluids he wanted to pump into him. He was perfectly capable of rehydrating himself, and he’d be damned if they were going to cast a muscle issue just so he couldn’t use the arm. The sling would do fine when he wasn’t busy.

When the doctor finally left, Pepper was still sitting in the chair there, although her attention had long since moved on from focusing solely on him. Her long red hair was clipped - rather haphazardly, for as put together as she normally was - back out of her face, and while she was wearing her normal business attire, she hadn’t been bothered to do her makeup, either, and she wasn’t wearing heels with her ensemble like she normally did. She was still Pepper - still uber professional, still caring, still sassy and somewhat overbearing - but she also looked altogether more… normal. Human. Vulnerable.

Despite the witty banter they had going on, he - and everyone else really - knew that his disappearance had been hard on her. Even if she only thought of him as a boss, he’d been her entire life for several years, and him up and disappearing was more than enough to upset the fragile balance she managed to maintain between her life and his. For someone as hyper-scheduled and organized as Pepper, that in itself was enough to upset her.

He studied her as she worked, moving between a tablet and her notebooks, writing things down occasionally, but mostly scanning, chewing on the pen absentmindedly. 

He sighed heavily, shifting a bit and letting out a small, pained groan. Her head shot up immediately. “Mr. Stark?”

“I told you not to call me that anymore.” He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a breath to manage the pain before opening them again. “And I’m fine. Although I’ll have you know I wasn’t half as sore until you brought that monster in here to poke and prod me.” He mock-scowled at her. “I should fire you. For… for misuse of company funds, and for doing everything else I directly told you not to do.” 

Pepper raised an eyebrow at him. He could see the bemusement twinkling in her eyes, even if she tried to hide it with the pen by pressing it against her lips to smush down the little grin. “Tony, if you want a reason to fire me, go ahead. But we both know you couldn’t survive without me, especially right now.” She cocked her head at him. “And if you’re going to use money as an excuse to fire me, you’ve got way more ammo than you think.”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow back at her. This was news to him. “Is that so?”

“The doctor coming here is hardly the only thing I’ve done without asking you in the past few months. It's only fair to tell you that I continued to receive a salary from you even though you weren’t here, and… well.” She shrugged. “Things had to be kept running somehow, the same way I had to live somehow.”

Tony just laughed, then winced a bit. Laughing aggravated his ribs and all the injuries to his diaphragm, but it felt good to do it again, regardless. “I’m glad to hear it. Someone had to take charge around here.” He shrugged. “And it’s not as if you didn’t deserve it.” 

Her cheeks flushed with color, and she looked down. “I’m glad to hear it.”

“I’m just glad to hear anything, Potts. Especially your voice again.” He stopped, sighing again. 

Pepper looked at him again, her brows drawing together. “What?”

Tony just shrugged. He closed his eyes. “Would you do anything I asked you to, Pepper?” 

She stared at him for a moment, chewing her lip. She would never get used to hearing him say her name. He had always just called her Miss Potts. She wasn’t sure if she liked this new, informal version of Tony better or not. Especially when he asked her questions like that. “What?” she repeated, her voice wavering a little.

Tony tore his eyes from the ceiling to look at her again, meeting her eyes. He had such pretty brown eyes, like melted chocolate. And in the dim light… she shook the thoughts away. Get a grip. “Well?” he asked, quietly. “Would you?” 

“Tony, I…” Pepper hesitated. He didn’t normally ask questions like this. “Of course I would.”

“But would you, really? What if I asked you to do something you didn’t agree with, or that you didn’t want to do?”

Pepper stared at him for a moment, unsure. “I… I don’t know,” she admitted, lowering her voice to match his. “It would depend on what you asked me to do and why.” 

Tony nodded thoughtfully, looking away again. “So, you wouldn’t let me force you to do something, then? You wouldn’t feel like you had to listen to me, or else?”

“Is there an “or else” I should be afraid of, Tony?” 

He looked back at her, clearly still lost in thought. “No. Not from me. Not anymore.” Not that he thought he’d really have fired her for refusing to do almost anything before, but he definitely couldn’t bring himself to do it now. 

She nodded, just once, then looked away again. “Why? Was there something you wanted me to do?” 

Tony just looked at her. Once upon a time he might have seen that as an invitation for an innuendo, but now… “Can I be honest with you about something?” She stared at him and nodded, bewildered but listening. “I…” he stopped and swallowed thickly. He didn’t want to get emotional, nor push her into anything. He’d just given up on hiding how he felt. “I’m sorry if this is...odd, and I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to. I just…” he looked at her, those brown eyes soft and sad in the dim light. “Can I hold you?” 

Her mouth opened and closed a few times in surprise. That was definitely not what she’d expected to hear. A lewd joke, maybe, but not… that. She didn’t know what to say. 

There was only one answer, it seemed. She got up, moving over to him, and settling as close to him as she dared. He held his good arm out, and she leaned against him, burying her face in his side and closing her eyes. 

He dropped his arm around her, squeezing her as tight as he dared. “When I was in that cave, Pepper…” he closed his eyes, and she looked up at him, watching him. “You were my driving thought. I can’t lie to you, not anymore. I thought about how I had nothing but you and as time went on… I wanted nothing more than to come back to you.” He opened his eyes and looked down at her. She was watching him with watery eyes. “I owe you the truth, Pepper. I’ve wanted you so badly, for so long. And I’ve done everything I can to try to fill that void with something - someone - else. It’s worked about as well as you can see.” He stopped, his eyes searching her face. 

“And I know it’s wildly inappropriate and that you have no return on the interest. But I know you’re okay with it to an extent, or we wouldn’t have made it this long, and you wouldn’t be here. Literally here, next to me, but you also wouldn’t have waited for me, or put up with my shit for the past… however many years it’s been.” He sighed and stopped again, looking down. “I know, I just said… a lot. But honestly… I just need to know. How you feel. Because if it’s nothing, I'll never bring it up again. But if it’s not-...”

He barely finished what he was saying before she leaned forward and kissed him, gently, barely, once, then again, deeper, and again. His good hand came up and cupped the back of her head, pulling her closer. 

They kissed again, and again, for long minutes, the sweet passion building between them. Tony groaned against her mouth, pulling back after a long few minutes. “Pepper…” he leaned his forehead against hers. “God. I want…”

“I know.” Pepper cupped his cheek, staying close to him and feeling his heartbeat pulsing throughout his body. “But you’re not strong enough, not like you normally are. It won’t be what you want for your first time since coming back.” 

Tony looked down at her, kissing her forehead. “Sweet as that is, Pepper…” he ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her close. “I don’t really care about that sentiment right now. I want you. And if you can’t control yourself from taking me wildly, all the better, but…” he kissed her hairline again. “I only want you. I don’t need anything from you tonight except your naked body for me to taste and touch and…” he nuzzled her hair. “Honestly, I need to drive the night terrors away. Your screams will be more than satisfactory to do that without adding mine to the mix.” 

Pepper looked up at him, her eyes wide. This was escalating quickly, but… She suddenly knew he was completely serious, and it was terrifying and empowering. “I could just suck you off and send you right to sleep on a natural painkiller,” she offered, only half joking. What she said was true, but so was what he wanted. 

“Or you could just take off the blouse and that pencil skirt and bring yourself up to my level.” He raised an eyebrow at her. 

She stared at him for a minute, and he worried he’d overstepped and taken their back and forth too far. Then, “What did you want on your level? This?” She straddled his lap - carefully, not actually putting any weight on him - and leaned back a bit, unbuttoning her blouse slowly. 

Tony groaned, watching her. His bad arm was sore, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from shrugging off the sling and reaching up and palming her breasts through her bra. She groaned a little in return, her nipples hardening instantly. “Jesus, Pepper. I’ve been staring at these for years.” He squeezed her breasts, then ran his hands down her back, cupping her ass. “And this.” He squeezed her butt, cupping each cheek firmly. She squirmed in his grasp, her skirt riding up her thighs. 

He groaned again, the sight of the normally forbidden skin goading him on more. “Christ. Lay down.” He made to pushed her back on the couch in front of him, but she stopped him. 

“I have a better idea.” She kissed him gently, once, ignoring his questioning look as she stood up, unbuttoning her skirt and letting it slide to the floor. She sent her blouse and blazer with it, leaving her in just a flesh tone bra and blue panties - oddly, a color that made her eyes pop - as she climbed back onto him. 

This time, however, she didn’t sit back down, but indeed lifted herself up to his level, leaning over him, bracing her arms on the back of the couch. “Better?” she asked, half teasing as she kissed him again gently. 

“Yes,” he murmured back, completely serious himself. He cocked his head at her. “Except for the panties. The bra can stay, I suppose, but… those have to go.” He raised a brow. “Get rid of them.”

“Oh, but I thought you’d like to do the honors?” She moved a little closer to him, swinging her hips right into his reach. 

He shrugged, running his hands up her legs. “Don’t mind if I do,” he said, sounding so much like his normal, cocky self in that moment that she had to smile. Then he peeled her panties down her hips, and the moment was forgotten as his eyes latched into the patch of hair between her thighs. “Good Lord, Potts.” His voice was suddenly huskier than he remembered it being even a moment ago. “If I’d known how far your perfection spread… I probably would have tried to order you into bed with me years ago.” 

Pepper just laughed softly, already sounding breathless. “Tried being the keyword, Stark.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “It’s impolite to stare, you know.” 

“Oh, I’m going to stare, Potts. Give me a minute to get my fill.” He lifted his head, pulling her hips closer, resting his forehead against her hip. “If you don’t pull away right now, I’m going to touch you.” He glanced up at her, waiting for some kind of sudden rebuttal to how far they’d gotten. He hadn’t expected it to take this turn, but he wasn’t disappointed either. 

“Do it if you dare, Stark.” Her voice was huskier than she expected. 

“Challenge accepted, Potts.” He kissed her hip, nipping at it, then kissed across her waist to do the same to the other. “I’m going to need you to spread more, Pep.” 

The pet name alone sent a shiver down her spine. She readjusted her stance some, spreading her legs wide for him and leaning heavily against the back of the couch. 

“Better.” His voice was husky now too, and his long fingers grasped her hips, pulling her the last bit of distance toward him. 

She gasped softly at the feeling as soon as his mouth brushed against her slit. He kissed right above it, then down it, back up, then did the same thing with his tongue. She couldn’t contain a soft whimper. He hummed softly, the sound only egging him on to dive deeper into her sensitive flesh. He slid his tongue into her folds, up on side, down the other, starting a wet circuit around them and never once hitting her clit. 

“God, Tony…” her hips bucked against his mouth, almost of their own accord. This was the last place she’d expected to end up tonight, but it only made the whole situation all the hotter. 

“Hold still,” was his only response, a gentle warning, before returning to his ministrations, running his hands down her legs as he tugged at each fold in turn with his teeth, then moved down, his tongue tasting at her entrance. She hissed through her teeth and then groaned as she felt him press his tongue into her, giving her hips gentle tugs to both force it deeper and make her massage it inside of her. 

She panted softly, trying to heed his words and not move like he’d asked, but she couldn’t seem to hold still. She rolled her hips against his mouth, closing her eyes. He hadn’t even touched her clit, and her legs were trembling around his face. “Tony-“ She stopped, letting out an almost pained groan and tilting her head back. She wanted to grab his hair, force him to move on, but she didn’t trust herself to stay up if she let go of the back of the couch, and knowing Tony, he might actually stop if she tried to push him. “Please move on.”

He pulled back, glancing up at her through heavily lidded as eyes she panted above him. “Are you going to beg, Pepper?” 

She swallowed thickly, feeling the subtle shift of his body, his fingertips creeping up her inner thigh. “If that’s-oh!” He pressed a finger into her, just one, starting to stroke the inside of her walls. “Good Lord, Tony, if that’s what you want, then yes!” 

“It’s not a requirement,” he answered, almost absentmindedly, focusing on what he was doing to her more than anything. “But I suppose I could give you a little something in return if you did.” 

He pressed a second finger into her, stroking her walls, and she knew he was searching for that spot that would make her scream without abandon. As it was, the feeling was enough to make her legs tremble and her eyes go unfocused. “Tony! Jesus… I’ll beg for whatever you want, but please! It’s so…intense...” she arched her back as best she could, panting slightly. 

“Just like that is fine.” He couldn’t hide his bemusement, half-distracted as he rather was. Normally, he might have made her beg more, might have dragged this out as long as possible, but it had been so long, and it was Pepper, and he just couldn’t. He’d wanted to do this for so long that he couldn’t make himself do anything the way he might have before, because he didn’t want this to be like before. He wanted it to be different. He wanted her, and not just for tonight. 

That thought in mind, he leaned forward again, showering her thighs with light kisses and nips before finally leaning back in and nipping at her clit lightly. She let out an incomprehensible cry, and he leaned forward, drawing it into his mouth and sucking at it, finally letting his fingers brush that spot on her upper wall. She cried out and jolted so hard that he had to readjust his grip on her hip and lean forward slightly to maintain what he was doing. 

“Tony...oh… please, please… that’s so… too much…” She wasn’t even sure what she was saying anymore, only that she was barely holding herself up for how hard she was shaking and definitely wasn’t able to hold herself still anymore. 

He just hummed into her skin, unable to answer and unwilling to pull back to do so. He could feel how close she was, could taste it in her arousal. On another night, with someone else, he might have stopped, might have teased and made them beg more, but even as the thought occurred, he dismissed it almost as quick. He knew he couldn’t - not now, not with her. So he just continued his steady rhythm, pumping and stroking his fingers in her and sucking her clit, letting his tongue tease it just enough-

She gave a loud cry and almost yelled something he could have sworn was an expletive, but was too caught up in her to fully catch as she came against his mouth, her body collapsing into his lap, unable to hold herself up anymore. Tony just grunted and winced slightly, but did his best to cover the pain as he could, cradling her against his chest and stroking his fingers through her hair gently as she laid against him, still panting and twitching with aftershocks of the pleasure. 

Slowly, she came back to. She looked up at him and was surprised to find him watching her with those dark eyes, something like affection glowing in them. He smiled down at her, watching her closely. She could sense him searching for some bit of anger or regret of what had just happened, but he wouldn’t find any. She leaned up and kissed him gently instead. 

He hummed into her mouth, the hand in her hair pulling her closer again, kissing her again until she desperately needed air. She pulled back then, sucking in deep breaths, watching him as he tilted his head back over the back of the couch and closed his eyes, clearly also trying to regulate his breathing. She smiled at the sight and leaned in, pressing a few soft kisses to his neck. He let out a low rumble of approval, his hands lazily running up and down her back.

He was able to relax for half a second before he felt her fingers fumbling at his belt and sighed, grabbing her wrists to stop her. “Pepper…”

“If you try to tell me right now that I don’t have to-“

“You don’t.” He lifted his head, looking at her again with dark, serious eyes. “You didn’t have to do any of that. I want to do this right, Pepper. Maybe we should wait.”

She sighed, putting a hand on his cheek. “Tony. Please. If you really don’t want me to, I won’t. But I want this too, okay? And I want you inside me. Now.” She somehow managed to sound pleading and demanding at the same time. 

He groaned a little, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t even have any condoms, Pepper.” Why she’d decided to do this now, of all times, he couldn’t fathom, but he couldn’t handle the way she was looking at him, and he could feel her hands hovering just above his groin, and it was too much. 

“You don’t need any.” 

Tony frowned a bit. He hadn’t pinned her for someone who’d be willing to be so… well, irresponsible. It seemed out of character for her. “Of course we need-“

“No, Tony.” She shook her head, cutting him off. “I’m on birth control. You don’t really think I could have handled working for you for so long if I was PMSing every few weeks, do you?” 

“Oh.” He swallowed thickly. Under normal circumstances, he might have made a joke, but right now, with her sitting on his lap and looking at him like that, those blue eyes wide and earnest, he couldn’t find it in himself. “Alright, then.” He has no logical reason to say no, and he didn’t really want to, aside from his worry that this was all heat-of-the-moment and she’d regret it in the morning. But there would be no reasoning with her anyway even if it was, and he couldn’t deny how long he’d wanted this. So he just released her wrists and leaned back. “But you’ll have to control it. I don’t think I can.” He hated his weakness, but he knew it wasn’t possible.

“I think I can handle that.” She kissed his cheek and pulled his belt free, tossing it down on the couch. 

Maybe she could, but he wasn’t sure he could. This would be a first for sure. He draped his arms over the back of the couch and let his head fall back again, feeling her undo his button and fly and finally reach in to pull him free. He groaned at the feeling of her hand, petite but firm, wrapping around his hard cock. Then she started pumping him, and he hissed through gritted teeth, his back nearly arching off the couch even as he grabbed her wrist. “Christ! Pepper that’s not what we agreed on,” he hissed in one breath, squeezing his eyes closed. 

He could almost hear her pout as she murmured, “Fine. But if you think I won’t get you back…” 

The rest of whatever she was going to say was lost as she shifted to be above him and sank onto him slowly. He groaned, his hands tightening on the back of the couch. “Holy shit, Potts.” He threw his head back, screwing his eyes closed. “Dear God, I hope you do, but right now…” He couldn’t finish.

It was far from the first time she’d heard him curse, but definitely close to being one of the hottest. “Move?” she suggested, leaning forward, her hands resting on his shoulders as she started to move her hips against his. 

“Yesss,” he hissed, arching again under her and trying to meet her thrusts as best as he could in his position. “That’ll do.” 

So she did, and he groaned again, tilting his head back and moving against her the best he could. It had been over three months and damn it if he wasn’t trying to shake these urges in him in favor of finding what really mattered but he knew inside that that was Pepper, or at least that it could be and that he wanted it to be desperately. So he gave her everything he could in his state, pulling her close and kissing her deeply and desperately as they moved in rhythm.

When she started to get close again, she turned her head away from his mouth and pressed her face into his shoulder, panting hard and letting out low whimpers and groans, her hips redoubling their movements against his at a resounding speed. He groaned, pulling her close as he could and hiding his face in her hair. He was getting there himself, and he could not be happier about how it felt, about the fact that he was buried deep inside her and about to come with her around him and she had not only not stopped him but was going to come with him. 

Her arms wrapped around his neck, and he let his own drop and wrap around her, pulling her close as he groaned into her hair. “Fuck, Potts…” She was wrapped around him completely, trembling and making all those hot sounds into his neck as she rode him. He kept one hand on her back, panting and closing his eyes as the other travelled down and around her body…

“Shit! Tony!” Pepper cried, her grip tightening on him as his hand slid right down to right above their coupled sexes and started rubbing her clit firmly. “God, I…”

He threw his head back. Hearing Pepper of all people curse was almost enough to do him in right there. “I know, Pepper. Fuck.” He brought his other hand to tilt her head up, bringing her face to his and kissing her deeply again. “Come, Pep. Come on,” he murmured against her mouth, and the shudder and cry he got in response, the way she cinched down on him as she released again, was enough to do him in a moment later. 

This time he was too out of his own senses to really notice her going limp and shuddering against him. All he really knew was when he started to come back around, she was a weight on his chest and lap, clinging to him and panting softly again. 

He slid his arms back around her, kissing her hair gently, and for a while they didn’t say anything. He couldn’t even make a smart comment like he normally might have, for fear of ruining the moment. So instead he just kept quiet and did what he’d originally asked her to let him do. He just held her. 

After a little while had passed, Pepper shifted, looking up at him. He blinked down at her, surprised. He’d almost thought she’d dozed off. He was even more surprised when she spoke. 

“You’re… not going to fire me, are you?”

“What?” He stared down at her, mildly horrified. “Why would I fire you?” 

“Just…” she sighed. “Because you’re using me as a rebound. It’s obvious. And when it’s over-“

“It’s not going to be over. No rebound, nothing like that. Were you not listening to me?” He cupped her chin. “I’ve obsessing over you for years, Pepper, but what happened in that cave solidified for me that this is more than an obsession or pure lust. I want you. As mine. As a person and as a PA and as everything that comes with you. I’m not going to end this willingly and I’m certainly not going to fire you.” 

Her mouth opened and closed slowly. “Oh.” She stared at him, her eyes wide and… wet, if he wasn’t mistaken. “But you… I mean, you’ve never… really?”

Tony couldn’t keep a small smile from growing on his face. “Really. Christ, do you really think I would have hesitated so long if I didn’t mean it? I was so afraid to fuck it up. I still am afraid of fucking it up. But if you really feel the same…” He looked down at her. “I want to try, for real, with you. Please. We can… we can completely start over, if you want to, and this doesn’t have to happen again. Jesus, I shouldn’t have let it happen now, but-“

She leaned up and kissed him, effectively cutting off whatever else he was going to stutter out. Tony rambling was a rare sight to see, and it was oddly adorable, but his insecurity, on the other hand, was not. 

When she finally pulled back, he just stared down at her, looking unsure. “Pepper…”

“Yes,” she interrupted. “The past three months have been the worst of my life, Tony. I don’t need any more time to think about it than that.” 

Tony stared at her as that sunk in, and then his eyes widened, almost comically. “Oh. I see.” Then his expression softened a bit, and his arms tightened around her, almost imperceptibly. “Me, neither,” he said quietly. 

She smiled up at him, curling up tighter into his lap. Her head fell against his chest, and he automatically brought a hand up to comb through her hair as he held her close. It was quiet for a long few minutes again, and he simply reveled in holding her again. He could do this for hours. Days, even. 

They never made it quite that far, though. She looked up at him, eyes still glossy. “As comfy is this is… I’m kind of cold, and I’m pretty tired.” She met his eyes. “Can we go to bed?” 

Tony looked down at her, a fond smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. “My bed?” he asked, just to check. 

She quirked a brow at him. “No, mine,” she retorted, but she was clearly teasing. 

He just shrugged. “Whatever suits you, Miss Potts. So long as you don’t expect me to carry you. I can barely carry myself right now.” He sat up, with some effort, which only served to prove his point. 

Pepper laughed, kissing his cheek as she got up and gathered her clothes. “No. I can carry myself. Today, at least.” 

“Fair enough,” Tony agreed amicably. He fixed his clothes - leaving him in stark contrast to her, as she didn’t even bother to put any of hers back on - before getting up and letting her lead him down the hall to his room. The silence before he speaks again is brief but comfortable. “Pepper?” 

She glanced up at him. “Yeah?”

“Maybe we should…” He stopped, hissing a breath through his teeth. “Maybe we should… not do that again. For a while. I mean, I enjoyed it, and I hope you did too, but I… I really want to do this right. I don’t want to get comfortable and fuck it up. So if we could at least talk, perhaps, in the morning, when we’re both better rested and hopefully more clear headed-...”

“We’ll talk,” Pepper promised, smiling and giving his hand a gentle squeeze with the one that wasn’t holding her clothes in a bundle to her chest. “First thing in the morning. I promise.” 

“Great.” He didn’t know if that made him feel better or worse, but it was something, at least. 

They entered his room, and he hesitated at the foot of the bed, gesturing widely at it for her to pick a side. 

Picking a side is easy. Falling asleep in each other’s arms is even easier, even if it doesn’t entirely stave the nightmares away. But they work through that too. 

And if their talk in the morning resulted in him breaking the resolution to start fresh and abstain for a while until they can rebuild foundations they so clearly already have… well, no one ever needed to know but them. 

[teaandcrowns]

whispered truce

Chapter Seven: Diplomatic Solution, part iv

_________

It… was actually a really good idea.

Zuko wasn’t sure if it was surprise he felt that she’d come up with something so ingenious, or if it was embarrassment that he hadn’t thought of it first. It’s admiration, a voice that sounded curiously like his uncle’s whispered in the back of his mind. He ignored that voice. Behind him, the Avatar’s waterbender hovered over his shoulder, watching.

“You’re being distracting,” he said, a little irritably. Did she have to stand so close? His arm still tingled with a pleasant coolness from where she healed him.

“Oh,” she said. “Sorry.” Except—she also didn’t move.

Zuko set the calligraphy brush on its porcelain stand and twisted to look back at her. “What is it? Did I miss a stroke in a character? Are my brush lines not clear enough? Do you have an issue with my wording?”

Despite his flurry of questions, Zuko didn’t expect an answer; he expected her to take the bigger hint and give him a little more breathing room. Forging a letter from the Royal Palace Ministry of Domestic Culinary Affairs took a bit more precision from his brush strokes than he tended to give them, and that was considerably more difficult to accomplish with a waterbender breathing down his neck.

She blinked a few times, as if not realizing she was practically invading his personal space. More frustratingly, she still didn’t move.

“I’ve never seen someone actually write that well before.”

That caught him off-guard. “Well, I mean—” he started. “My handwriting isn’t normally this formal. But it has to look official.”

“Still,” she said, leaning even closer over his shoulder so she could reach out and brush fingertips along the empty space to the left of his last line. “The lines are just so crisp and decisive.”

A strange shiver snaked up Zuko’s spine at her words, which he attributed to the time limit and pressure they were under to get this done and in the right place before dawn. He cleared his throat, giving her a pointed look which was completely hidden by the mask. Finally, she got the message and straightened, stepping away from him to walk over to the door of the storehouse. With nowhere else either could really think of, they’d headed back to the record keeper’s storehouse. It still stank in here, but once the waterbender had crystalized the air and captured what she said were droplets of the foul smell lingering in the air, it was bearable. Zuko had no idea what she was talking about, or how crystalizing a scent even worked, but he chalked it up to being a waterbender thing, and so had set to work drafting up a fake letter to forge.

Her plan was simple, but Zuko thought it had a really good chance of working. All the domestic shipments of food and cooking items that weren’t homemade by families or produced in local towns were shipped out from the capital. That included things like rice, barley-wheat flour, soy sauce—and nam-pla. The letter he was writing made the proclamation that an unknown number of nam-pla containers across several shipments got contaminated, and would soon go bad if they hadn’t already. It claimed that because the contaminant had been caught only after the shipments were dispersed, it would take too much time to send representatives to every location and check all the jars that had been already distributed to only get rid of the bad ones. In order to expedite the health and safety of all Fire Nation citizens, it is hereby decreed by the Ministry of Domestic Cultural Affairs of the Royal Palace that all current stores of nam-pla be disposed of. City, town, and village officials are to order a double shipment with their next procurement requests to the capital in order to replenish stores. Failure to comply will be considered a lapse in public stewardship of citizens and location officials will be dealt with accordingly.

“What if they don’t actually get rid of this stuff?” the waterbender worried from her spot by the door. It was cracked open to let fresh air in, and a slant of moonlight spilled in through the opening. “It’ll be really suspicious when no actual officials show up to ensure the jars have been disposed of.”

“They’ll do it,” Zuko replied, picking the calligraphy brush up again to finish the letter.

A beat of silence passes, and he can almost tangibly feel the tension of her concern. “What makes you so sure?”

He didn’t pause in his brush strokes. “I think the mayor here will spook easily enough and comply. From what I’ve gathered, people have only been getting sick recently, so being caught so quickly would most likely make him want to get rid of the evidence. After that, hopefully it won’t matter that Culinary Affairs officials never show up because the poison will be gone, and word will have reached the capital about the skimming he’s been doing here for the last few years.”

“But that also means people won’t be coming around to make sure every jar’s been disposed of. What if some families don’t?”

That thought had occurred to him, as well. Zuko frowned at the scroll, pausing only momentarily in his writing. They couldn’t afford to waste too much more time if he kept stopping mid-sentence. Beneath the wood of the Blue Spirit mask, his mouth pressed into a tight line.

“We just have to trust they’ll all follow the order.”

He heard her pace a few steps behind him. “What if they mayor doesn’t let the people know? How can we be sure the word will actually get out?” Her pacing stopped short. “What if he thinks it comes from someone trying to work against him?”

It was strange, hearing his own concerns voiced so clearly to him. “I think,” he said, slowly, “that so long as this looks really official, he’ll do what it says.” Zuko finished the line he was working on. “I did put in that officials will be coming around to gather the emptied jars and check for compliance, so…”

“That worry will hang over him like a bad banana.”

“Yeah—wait, what?” Her comparison struck him so odd as to be funny, and it caused him to pause so long before starting the final line of the letter, he nearly forgot himself and let ink drip onto the scroll. Thankfully, he caught himself in time and moved the brush away. He’d have to start a whole other letter if a stray splatter of ink found its way onto what was supposed to be an “official” document.

He twisted back to look at her, and saw she had a sheepish smile on her face. She shrugged. “I don’t know, seemed like a fitting saying.”

Zuko shook his head and was glad that his own smile was hidden by the mask. “That was a really bad attempt at a metaphor.”

“Not if that bad banana falls on his head,” she insisted, and he honestly couldn’t tell if she was serious or joking. Why would she be joking with him, after all?

“Is… the fake letter the bad banana?” he asked, unable to stop himself.

“Well, the fake threat of officials coming from the Royal Palace are. The letter’s more the peel.”

Despite himself, despite everything, he almost laughed at that. At the sound, the waterbender seemed to realize the banter starting between them and thought better of it. She cleared her throat a little.

“How’s it coming along?”

Right. Back to business. But… the banter was a good sign, wasn’t it? Maybe if he won her over a little bit, she’d help convince the others that he should be the one to train the Avatar firebending. That was his ultimate goal, anyway.

“Nearly finished,” he replied, picking up the brush again and getting back to work. After a moment, he leaned back a bit to scrutinize his handiwork. “There’s only one thing left.”

“Where to take it?”

“Well—before that. The signature stamp.”

“Oh.” It was clear by the fall of her voice that she understood his concern. “Do you… know it?”

He knew it well enough—most of the Ministries’ seals were variations of one another, and incorporated some part of the seal of the Royal Palace. He’d had them all drilled into him relentlessly during his schooling, so much that he doubted he’d ever forget one. “That’s not the issue. I can recreate it, but it definitely won’t look like it’s stamped.”

“I think I can help with that, too. Can you write it on another scroll?”

Unsure of how exactly she could help, Zuko did as she asked anyway. With careful strokes he replicated the seal to the best of his memory. It was a pretty good rendition of it, that was for sure, but any other thoughts he might have had on it were interrupted by a soft crackling beside him.

The waterbender was shaping the end of a small block of ice while staring intently at the seal he’d replicated on the scroll. When she was finished, she carefully pressed the carved end against the still-wet ink, then used that to stamp the scroll beside the written seal.

“How’s that?”

He compared it to the one he’d written. “Almost. This line should be a little more tapered, and that one just a bit straighter.” Zuko watched as she made the adjustments and made another stamp. He nodded his approval. “Won’t the ice melt into the ink, though?”

The waterbender shrugged, unconcerned. “All ink is, really, is charcoal and water and a little thickening ingredient. I can just evaporate the excess water if need be, but it probably will be so little it won’t make a difference.”

Beneath the wood of his mask, Zuko’s eyebrow lifted in startled appreciation. “You know how to make ink?”

“I know how to make a lot of things,” was her reply. She moved her fingers over the seal he’d written with a fluid twist of her wrist, and the black ink glistened in the lantern light.

“Wait,” he said suddenly, just as she was poised to re-ink the seal. “It should be red.”

Quickly, he rummaged through the storeroom until he found what he was looking for—a small porcelain container with the iconic red seal ink that every letter-writing Fire Nation citizen had. He removed the lid and set it down next to the extra scroll.

“Here.”

With precision, she removed the outermost layer of ice on her block to clear away the black ink still clinging to the corners and contours she’d carved, then dipped the end into the container. Once the seal was coated in red, she hesitated and looked at the forged letter scroll.

Sensing her question before she asked, he directed her to the proper location for the seal, then held his breath for the brief moment she hovered directly above the scroll with the seal before pressing it firmly against the paper. When she drew back, Zuko looked over the letter, nodding.

“This looks…”

“Pretty official,” she finished.  “Do you know where it should go? Or who we should leave it for?”

“Yeah. But… it’s gonna be a little more involved.”

[kindlespice]

ooooh skin stuff?? what products do you use / what's your routine? im super nosy and fascinated about this stuff lol

oof, sorry this took so long to answer, i ended up writing a whole damn novel… my b. Anyway i buy my skin care pretty much exclusively from yesstyle (minus a few exceptions, but i’m always open to new suggestions! i am gonna take a look at jolse soon) so i’ll just link the products from there. Also i have a little dinky code for like 2-5% off if you wanna save like… $1 it’s 5NAYTT

Disclaimers before i start though, I have normal skin (i know i’m so lucky uwu) so i generally don’t stress about whether my products work better or worse for dry/oily skin—but i do tend to favor more hydrating/moisturizing products. Also i’m no esthetician or dermatologist, most of my knowledge comes from product reviews, skin care videos, and my own personal experiences. So basically take everything I say and share with a grain of salt :))

We’ll start out easy with my morning routine:

1.)  Mostly i start by wetting my face with warm water. you can also wet it in the shower if you’re a morning shower-er(?) but i’m not lol. IF my skin is feeling really dirty in the morning for some reason though (like if i sweat real bad on a summer night or drown in a pool of drool x-x) i’ll start with the Perfect Whip foaming cleanser

i find that most mornings, bc of my more extensive night routine, my face isn’t often in need of a cleanser

but i really like this bc you get SO MUCH use out of so little product; i use less than a dime-size amount per wash. but i do use this little foam maker thingy which builds up a better and faster foam than using my hands—not necessary but very convenient. there’s also foaming nets you can try, but i’m not familiar with them.

i don’t completely dry my face after use; i like it damp when i apply the toner

2.)  Apply Klairs Supple Preparation Toner

i personally use the original version as i don’t mind essential oil scents, and my skin doesn’t react negatively to them. If oils bother you for whatever reason though, you might want to try the unscented version!

i also pour this into a spray bottle (you can pick these up pretty much anywhere but these are cute if you wanna order some) and apply via spray. No reason other than I just don’t want to buy cotton pads :)

3.)  Apply Snail Repairing Essence

i use this pretty much as a moisturizer but you might want to use an additional cream or something if your skin is on the drier side?

4.)  Apply SPF

okay so… i don’t actually have a rec for this bc i just use whatever my mom has.  and i haven’t actually gotten a korean sunscreen yet bc i don’t go outside and i’m that person (who is v dumb) and doesn’t apply spf consistently in the winter -.- but rest assured, i’ll get some eventually lololol

Okay like i said, pretty easy in the morning! I don’t use essences, just bc i’m still young and a lot of them seem to be focused on anti-aging things that aren’t my main concern. And I prefer to use my serum at night bc it’s got vitamin C and i just told you i’m bad at sunscreen

But night time is where it gets complicated fun:

1.)  Hop in the shower (but if you’re not a nighttime shower-er then you can just cleanse out of the shower) and go in with the Clean It Zero cleansing balm (this also has other versions: purifying, revitalizing, and nourishing but i’ve only ever used the original)

i usually do double cleansing at night, so this is my oil-based “first cleanser”

but i have been known to um… “gloss over” this step if i’m being lazy….. -.-

i like oil-based cleansers bc they’re a nice, gentle way to remove makeup (as opposed to wipes and stuff) and i do use this to remove eye makeup as it personally doesn’t irritate my eyes; i also prefer balms over straight up oils bc they’re more fun ^-^

anyway, i massage it on, emulsify, and rinse! also, if you’re not in the shower, i would keep my face damp after rinsing.

2.)  Perfect Whip foaming cleanser while still in the shower

pro-tip, if you have a foam maker, i would make the foam BEFORE you start. that way you can just apply it right after the balm!

again, i keep my face damp after rinsing off the foam and hopping out of the shower

3.)  Klairs Supple Preparation Toner returns!

again, i have mine in a spray bottle so i spray it on and tap it in!

4.)  IF IT’S SUNDAY, then i will go in with the Lemon Sparkling Peeling Gel next

this is a chemical exfoliator (i finally ditched my knock-off st. ives XD) and i only use it once a week

5.) IF IT’S SUNDAY, and i have one available, i’ll put on a sheet mask next

sheet masks are… honestly all the same to me lol but i order these innisfree ones all the time; my regulars being green tea, tea tree, and aloe (they’re actually cheaper on their website tho so…).  i also really wanna try the A’PIEU Milk Packs particularly in banana and strawberry, so i’ll probs order and try those out when i can justify spending the money on a whole bunch (knowing me i’ll turn it into a whole $40+ order lol)

i leave these on for 15-20 minutes (usually 20), take it off, and pat the remaining product into my skin

also there’s usually some left over on the other side of the mask and/or in the package that i’ll massage onto my neck and body (we try not to do not waste product in this house!!)

if i’ve done a mask, then i will most likely skip this next step

6.)  Apply Klairs Vitamin C Drop

this is pretty much my daily serum as it helps with improving my dark spots and hyper pigmentation (my main skin concern)

i take 3-5 DROPS in my hand… that’s it, i literally wasted so much before i finally decided to stop dropping it onto my face.

apply and pat that bad boy all over!!

7.)  Snail Repairing Essence  returns!

again this is my probably-not-supposed-to-be-but-idfc moisturizer so i just slap it on!

8.)  Almost done, here’s the Snail Repair Eye Cream

this is actually new, but i bought a smaller tube bc 1. i didn’t want to spend a bunch of money on something that might irritate my eyes. and 2. i didn’t. want. to spend. a bunch. of money. but the little nozzle is actually really helpful for getting a small, good amount of cream actually XD

so i’ll squeeze a little line (more like an oblong dot tho) under each eye and use my ring fingers to glide that up to the lid and pat in the product.

9.)  Last one! Berry Lip Mask

basically…. i even buy korean knock-offs lololol

i just apply this to my bottom lip (my top lip never causes me issues??) and let it sit over night

Anddddd that’s everything! Very nearly got to that 10 step dream but, no essence, no clout i guess. Anyway, i do have some additional pro-tips too:

If you’re buying/trying new skin care products, be patient and introduce them slowly. it’s hard, but this way—if one or more products are causing a reaction—it’s easy to just cut it out of the routine. Also i like to think it gives your skin time to become used to the new ingredients and to “normalize” before piling on new stuff (but that could be total bs lol)

“Listen” to your skin; use products that make YOUR skin feel good, and use products when YOU need them. especially with serums and stuff, invest in products that will help you to address your skin concerns and achieve your skin goals (whatever those may be at the time)—and not someone else’s. Also don’t be afraid to admit if a product’s not working, better to chuck it than ruin your skin you know?

From someone who’s experienced a very unpleasant, burning unibrow :))) don’t remove hair on exfoliation day and avoid putting a lot of product on sensitive areas. Also, doing some sort of cleanse before hair removal helps to reduce the risk of dirt and stuff getting into the exposed skin.

Oh and be gentle with your exfoliators (whether physical or chemical) DON’T SCRUB FOR THE LOVE OF PETE to avoid cuts and burns!

If you have a spot (or feel one coming up) , use some sort of spot treatment. you’re much less likely to pick with something if it’s covered up by a patch (these are my faves) which will reduce irritation and formation of dark spots.

Be as hygienic as possible! There’s no towel drying steps in my routine for two main reasons. 1, i like keeping the moisture and hydration from the water as long as possible. and 2, bacteria. is. everywhere. Towels are pretty gross when you think about it and limiting contact between them and your face will probably greatly improve your skin’s health. Also avoid touching nozzle or dropper applicators directly to your hands or face: that way the applicator won’t come in contact with any bacteria or germs and transfer that gunk onto your face every time you use it. Washing your hands and/or tools that DO touch your face is also important in, again, reducing the spread of random gunk.

Take it slow, relax, and enjoy it! Skin time is my relaxation time (especially sunday nights oml so awesome!!), it’s honestly one of the best parts of my day just being able to kick back and take care of myself. Try not to make it a chore, it isn’t supposed to feel regimented or overwhelming, but relaxing and fun!

Okay that’s really it!! And yeah this got really really long….. sorry if you actually only wanted my yesstyle recs XD

[the-endless-storm]

Nuzlocke Shield Part Four

Part Three

An we are off again. Three zones to go through to get to Hammerlocke, let's see what we get.

Stony Wilderness it is snowing, and we get Sneasel, which is a dupe so let's try for a second one. It's a Chubcoo.

Oreo - Chubcoo (m) Slush Rush Sassy (SDf up / Spd down) “It scatters things often!”

Giant's Cap is sunny (thank god) and we get Lombre! Wasn’t expecting this.

Pina Colada - Lombre (m) Rain Dish Docile (no change) “It's impetuous and silly!”

Lastly Hammerlocke Hills is raining and we get Pelipper. Meh.

Febreeze - Peilipper (f) Drizzle Modest (SAk up / Atk down) “It's very finicky!” Rainy Mark

This is the first Pokemon I’ve caught that had a mark on it, but it's not enough to warrant putting Pelipper on my team.

I see Bede and the Chairman in the middle of Hammerlocke, but let's do some exploring before story time. First up, a house with a Blakckbelt and a level 2 Cottonee. Um ok.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. I forgot about Endevour. It left Snapper with 1 HP! That could have been a disaster!

I’m wary about going into the Battle Cafe. I know they're double battles against fairy types, and the only effective move I have at the moment is Acid on a baby Pokemon. So I’ll give that a miss for the moment, maybe come back when Toxel has evolved and I have some Steel moves somewhere.

Mmm, Chairman Rose knows exactly what he's doing walking around the city in those shorts. There's a guy outside the far left Pokemon Centre, trying to meet someone. Maybe if Chairman Rose spent more time on Grindr he wouldn’t want to resurrect ancient deities.

I wish we had a chance to explore more of the castle part of Hammerlocke. There are loads of paths and stairwells with gates on them that look like they should open up.

Anyway, let’s see what Route 6 has on offer, thankfully not another damn Ice type.

Oh wait, Team Yell first.

Yay, Jett is evolving into Toxtricity Amped Form!

Ah! Bullseye is evolving in Mudsdale too! Awesome sauce.

Ok finally back to Route 6 and our encounter is a Heatmor! Interesting, I have genuinely never used this Pokemon before.

Otis - Heatmor (m) Flash Fire Modest (SAk up / Atk down) “It takes plenty of siestas!” Rowdy Mark

I think I’m going to swap out Carcoal for Heatmor. It has better stats and isn’t four times weak to Water and Ground. There's a TM for Fire Spin in the Hammerlocke shop too, and whilst it's not the greatest attack it should cover Heatmor until it learns something else.

While I’m back here, I’ll check the Move Relearner for my newly evolved Pokemon too. Heatmor can relearn Incinerate, so Fire Spin isn't needed now. If money weren’t so easy to come by I might be upset about spending 10k.

Get to the end of Route 6 and the dumb fuck trainer has his Koffing use Self Destruct, good thing I swapped Otis out for Snapper otherwise that could have been a short career again.

I like Stow-on-Side, it's good a good look to it. No encounters here though, so I'll head up to the mushroom forest bit and see if I can catch a Psychic, Ghost or Dark type and not another useless bird or something.

Dammit Hop leave me alone.

Dammit Opal leave me alone.

Dammit Team Yell leave me alone. Can’t do anything I want these days.

Fine, Glimwood Tangle is out of the question until I beat Allister. Going to go train a bit.

Got everyone up to 35-36 and raided a few dens to get some TRs that really didn’t help a great deal with moves. A lot of my team have totally the wrong natures, boosting Attack when Special Attack would be better and vice versa (Toxtricity being a prime example). But we'll see where we go.

Also Drumroll has evolved into a Rillaboom. This play through is notably the first time I have used one of the starters, as I generally dislike all three in this game.

Time to hit the Gym.

The trainers didn’t put up much of a fight, but I’m wary of GMax Gengar doing a lot of damage because I don’t have anything that resists Ghost attacks. I hope Drednaw will be fast enough to get off a Max Darkness and survive anything Gengar throws at her.

Not faster than Gengar, but Gengar used Max Ooze which Snapper resists, and the Max Darkness KO'd it.

Ghost Badge get!

Dammit Bede leave me alone

If Rose disqualifies Bede in the name of keeping things fair, shouldn’t help also disqualify Marnie (or at least issue a warning) as a result of her supporters actively attempting to sabotage other gym challengers?

Dammit Sinistea leave me alo... oh no never mind. Sinistea you can stay :)

Chamomile - Sinistea (g) Weak Armour Gentle (SDf up / Dfc down) “It likes to fight!” Vigor Mark

Goodbye Machoke, Sinistea is on the team. I'll use the Cracked Pot I have to immediately evolve it into Polteageist, and as always check back with the Move Relearner.

I'm half way through the Gym Challenge. I have two zones left to explore in the Wild Area (Dusty Bowl and Giant's Mirror) not counting the two I need to cross water to reach. I’m in no immediate need for new Pokemon right now, so I’ll see what the weather is like on them going forward and visit when it's not snowing or raining.

I love Ballonlea, it's such an amazing looking town. This is the best looking location in the entire game, it's like all the design budget went here instead of being shared out elsewhere.

Got some eviolite, useless atm but you never know if I might need it in the future.

Let’s take on Opal and get that out of the way.

A trainer's Morgrem almost knocked out Chamomile with an attack, but luckily I was faster and able to take it down first. Close though.

Bullseye makes quick work of both Weezing and Mawile, and Opal's stat boosts certainly don’t go amiss. I was intending to use Jett here, but with Bullseye's Stamina boosting its defence, plus a speed and special defence boost from Opal she might not be needed.

It took three Max Steelspike's but Alcreamie fell to Bullseye. Opal only asked two of her three questions.

Fairy Badge get!

Back to Hammerlocke and Chairman Rose's Grindr hook-up is still waiting at the Pokecentre. I think now that I’m back I’ll do the Battle Cafe I skipped last time.

Oh fuck yeah, they're level 37 each. If I’d tried this back when I thought about it I would have been under level 30 and it would have been game over for me.

What a crap prize. An item that restores 20HP. Wowee.

Eww Bede is here again. Gross.

Let's do the two spots in the Wild Area now to get them done and out of the way before I head to Circhester.

Giant's Mirror gets me a Roselia. Not great tbh. Oops, knocked it out. Oh well.

Dusty Bowl gets me a Dubwool. A Dubwool!? Of all the Pokemon in the Wild Area I get the big goat!? Ffs.

Babs - Dubwool (f) Fluffy Relaxed (Dfc up / Spd down) “It's capable of taking hits!”

Back to Hammerlocke, past Sonia and the pointless bit of storyline that has no impact. Though it is refreshing to hear characters say “this isn’t for kids to worry about” instead of the fate of the universe resting firmly on your shoulders while the elite trainers sit and watch as is the norm in most Pokemon games.

God do I have to fight Hop AGAIN!?

“The way you battle, it kind of reminds me of Lee” you mean, well using proper strategy and skill instead that'a expected of someone aiming to be the champion, Mr “ive studied all my brother's battles, now wooloo use tackle on the steel type”?

“Now have a taste of our true power!” Water attack against a grass type. Ok.

Route encounter is a Corviknight, so another dupe. Next one is a Shelmet. Ok, I like Shelmet, but being unable to evolve it makes it pretty useless.

Kiniggit is a bad name I can't enter. I assume it's because the French used it as an insult against King Arthur during his quest for the Holy Grail.

G'night - Shelmet (f) Shell Armour Naughty (Atk up / SDf down) “It takes plenty of siestas!”

Ok, that's enough for today, this has been a long one. No deaths though so that’s good. Might finally have some balance to the team.

Current Team Drumroll - Rillaboom (lv 40) Bullseye - Mudsdale (lv 41) Snapper - Drednaw (lv 40) Otis - Heatmor (lv 40) Chamomile - Polteageist (lv 40) Jett - Toxtricity (lv 41)

Boxed Joltik Slowpoke Charjabug Croagunk Oddish Snorunt Sizzlepede Sneasel Chubcoo Lombre Pelipper Carcoal Machoke Dubwool Shelmet

Losses Bandit the Nickit - Knocked out by a fat squirrel Gumball the Tympole - Devoured by a centipede with a moustache Castlevania the Rookidee - Torn apart by a cute mole HaagenDazs the Vanillite - Murdered in an act of revenge by a smelly frog

Wild Area Tracker Rolling Fields West Lake Axewell East Lake Axewell South Lake Miloch Dappled Grove Watchtower Ruins North Lake Miloch Giant’s Seat Motostoke Riverbank Bridge Field Stony Wilderness Giant's Cap Hammerlocke Hills Dusty Bowl Giant's Mirror

Part Five

[alwayschoosechocolate]

One-night stands and one-shot chances (Part iv)

University AU

Pairing: Jin x reader

Who says sex has to mean anything? Who says you can’t just screw around without all the heartache? Who says only guys get this privilege? What happens when the biggest playboy on campus suddenly meets his match and gets a taste of his own medicine?

Genre: casual sex, mentions of sex, bestfriend!Hoseok, onenightstand!Jin

Wordcount: 2000

Masterpost with the other parts of the story can be found here (x)

Tag list: @esplosionedicoloriintesta @jeonjunggoodgod @rjsmochii @spookidema @pariz-lover @mymochimchimmy @friedclamtoadbanana @cloudyelizabeth @livesmileandstaystrong

A/N: Tumblr has been fucking with me and deleted parts of this update so many times.. I lost count of how many times I rewrote it, and I feel like parts of it never really got back again. I'm only on my phone these days, so I have no idea, how long it is either, but I feel like it's rather short unfortunately - sorry! I'll make up for it in the next update!

The whispers heard from two rows behind you were only getting louder, and it had reached a point that made even Jimin send them a sour look.

Your focus, however, was solely on the professor in front of the board and the notes you were scribbling down. Rumors and bitchy comments were nothing new to you. Being part of the royalty on campus, as Hoseok and his mates were called because of the small spire on the house, came with a lot of attention, and being Hoseoks best friend had made you an honorary member as well.

"I swear to God, if they make any more comments about your hair, I will pull theirs out," Jimin mumbled under his breath, making you raise an eyebrow at him.

"Jimin, just leave it. If the best they've got is comments about my hair" - you shrugged your shoulders - "let them have their fun."

"Can't you please just talk back one time? I don't want them to think they can treat our friends like this."

Jimin was fidgeting in his seat and his voice had reached a whiny tone, but the reason for his demeanor was anything but cute. He wanted to fight back. He hated people for not respecting his friends, and he knew Hoseok wouldn't have hesitated to clap back at the girls. However, you hated people fighting your battles, and even though Hoseok did it all the time, it always resulted in arguments between the two of you. The rest of the guys had learned not to challenge you on this.

"Not yet, Jimin," you hummed, eyes still on the papers in front of you. Mumbling under his breath, he leaned back in his seat with crossed arms, settling for absorbing their voices, so he would know, which girls to add to his non-shag list. No way, he was sleeping with them, when they treated his friend like that, he thought with a huff.

"I don't get why she doesn't have any self-respect. She must really have some issues," one of them whispered a bit too loudly, definitely wanting you to hear her. "I mean, can't she see that she is ruining her life?"

"That's rich," you snorted loudly, finally turning around in your seat and putting a hand on Jimins shoulder in the process, keeping him from jumping at the girl. "Coming from you." You locked eyes with the girl in charge of most of the comments and sent her a sinister smile. "When is your due date again?”

Hearing Jimin snicker at your comment fueled you on further and the missing response from the girl only added to it.

"Your daughter must really be looking forward to getting a younger sister," you cooed in feigned interest. "I just feel bad, they don't get to have that idyllic family life you always talked about. But then again, family is what you make it, with the people you chose to have in it, right? Who am I to tell you, how to live your life?"

Sending her one last icy look, you turned back to the board, still hearing the girls whispering, but for a completely different reason this time. Everyone knew her on campus. She had made it her mission to spread the word of God on campus, which involved celibacy, no alcohol and for some reason also no sea food. Funny thing is, she didn’t see the double moral in herself being pregnant with a second child from a different guy. Instead, she had made it her life mission to preach about how sex ruins both body and mind, ruining you for the future. And Y/N was her favorite target.

-

"You're alright?", Jimin asked, as they walked to the café for their free period. It was drizzling a bit, covering the campus in a grey curtain, leaving you and Jimin alone, as everyone scrambled to get out of the rain.

"Of course. It's nothing new."

Throwing an arm around Jimins waist, leaning on him, as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You walked a bit in silence.

"Come on, I'll buy you a coffee," he smiled, pulling you into the warm café.

You bought your drinks and Jimin even bought you a muffin as well, and you found a table in the back, where you could lay out your books on the table to talk about some assignment, you had to hand in next week.

"Btw," Jimin interrupted you in the middle of a sentence. "Did you hear anything back about the job yet?"

"No, not yet," you mused, with a small smile. "But I'm sure they just have a lot of applicants to get through."

As true as that might be, it had also been two weeks since they were supposed to get back to you. Knowing that you weren't going home between semesters, you had always opted for working or doing internships, and this year one of the professors on campus was working on a big project and needed help. Not only was it a great way of earning some money and experience, the professors field of study was exactly what you wanted to go into yourself. It couldn’t be more perfect actually!

That is, if you got it.

You hadn't told anyone about it - not even Hoseok. A thought, that still made you a bit uncomfortable, since you normally shared everything. Jimin only knew, because your application had gotten mixed up with some notes, you shared with him.

"I'm sure, you'll get it," Jimin offered with a sweet smile and a warm hand on your arm. "They would be stupid not to take you in."

"I don't know," you smiled at him. "You've been getting better grades than me lately. Maybe you should apply, Jiminie?"

He snorted out a laugh, falling on to the table while he giggled.

"Yeah, right. Me, in a lab coat all summer? No, thank you."

Joining in his laughter, it took af few seconds for the both of you to calm down.

"Besides," he added, eyes turning sincere again. "The only reason, I get good grades is because of your help."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at him, trying to pull your arm away from his grasp, but he only tightened his grip, making you look up into his smiling eyes.

"It's true, Y/N." His voice had gotten lower, and you felt your breath hitch at the close proximity of his face. "I couldn’t have made it through this last semester without you."

Letting yourself be hypnotized by his sweet words and demeanor, you suddenly realized who you were sitting across from.

"Aish, Jimin," you exclaimed in annoyance with an awkward laugh, snapping out of the trance. "Stop flirting with me! I already promised, we would work together on the year end project."

"Right," Jimin smiled sheepishly, rubbing his neck. "The year end project."

You had already turned back to your books and started suggesting topics for the upcoming assignments, when you got interrupted.

“You know, I’m not normally into the whole drowned-rat-look,” a sly voice commented, making both you and Jimin look up to see Jin walking towards you with a cocky smile. “But you really make it work, cupcake.”

Rolling your eyes at both his presence and words, you kept your gaze trained on the books on the table.

“Normally, I’m not into cocky guys with a nice body,” you retorted in a flat voice without missing a beat. “And you are no exception.”

“Ah, you think, I have a good body, doll?”, Jin cooed, as he dragged an extra chair to the table, making himself comfortable.

“Yeah, it does a perfect job of covering up all that sexism and…” – pausing to send him a confused look, you cocked your head at him – “Oh, I’m sorry. What are your other traits again?”

Hearing Jimins laughter fill the air, you sent Jin a cold smile, getting an annoyed look back.

“Damn. That’s cold, baby.” Jins voice was strained, trying to keep the tone light, but you easily picked up on the shadow of hurt looming in his eyes.

“But not uncalled for,” you reminded him, gathering your stuff and saying goodbye to Jimin, before walking out into the rain again.

Asshole. Thinking he could just go back to joking around again, after calling you a whore. Huffing a bit in anger, you walked towards the library to study there instead.

“Y/N!”

Groaning at the sound of his voice, you just kept walking.

“Hey. Wait up!”, Jin shouted, putting a hand on your shoulder, when he reached you.

Whipping around in annoyance, you saw him stumble half a step back in surprise at your sudden movement.

“What, Jin? What do you want?” Your voice was anything but welcoming, and if he had taken just two seconds to think about what he was about to do, he should have known better.

Oh well.

“I wanted to talk to a pretty lady, and you just happen to fit that bill,” he grinned at you, making you roll your eyes.

"Oh, lucky me! I get to be your designated whore of the day," you exclaimed in feigned excitement.

"What? No, that's..."

"Cut to the case, Seokjin. I'm not in the mood today." Crossing your arms in front over your chest, you sent him an impatient look.

"Well, erm." He coughed awkwardly, searching for the words. "I just wanted to apologize. You know, for calling you..."

"A whore," you stated, giving an evil smirk, when you saw him visibly tense at the sound of it.

"Yeah, that." He mustered every ounze of sincerity he could before continuing. "I'm sorry, I did that. It was uncalled for."

His eyes searched yours to see if you accepted the apology, but was hurriedly cast down by the sound of you clicking your tongue.

"Yeah, it was uncalled for. So why did you?" Curiousity taking over, you still wanted to know why, despite the anger.

Seokjin awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to come up with an explanation. Dammit! He shouldn't feel this uncomfortable in front of you. Get it together, Jin!

He was at a loss, so he did what he knew always worked. Or used to work at least.

Straightning up a bit, he sent you a shameless grin.

"You're just so hot, doll! I don't like the idea of other men seeing that body," he winked at you, reaching for your hand.

The second, the words left his mouth, he knew he was screwed. And if his own intuition was enough, he was about to find out.

"Oh, I see!", you cooed at him, smiling sinisterly, when you saw his frightned expression at your tone. "You think, because I slept with you once, you own me."

Jin looked like he had just been pushed out of a cliff, and was now frantically searching for somewhere to hold on.

"What? No, that's not..."

His comicly widened eyes and pouting lips made him look almost too innocent.

Almost.

"Shh," you shushed, reaching up to cup his cheek. "Let me tell you something." Tightning you grasp on his jaw, you saw his eyes widen in surprise. "I am not someone for you to stick your dick in like a flagpole. You do not have, or will ever have, any claim on me. Got it?"

Your stern eyes bore into his startled ones. Despite the height difference, you had no problem displaying your position. It made Jin feel powerless, and he really didn't like being in that position. It made his blood boil, and his brain go into overdrive.

"I don't need to claim you," he spat out, venom suddenly present in his voice. "You've been with so many that you're basically public property by now."

Feeling his own blood run cold at his words, he pushed your hand off his face, looking at your shocked features defiantly.

"You should feel lucky that I even payed you any attention after getting my share," he stated with an annoyed huff, before turning around and basically speedwalking away from you, heart thumbing in his chest.

Oh, he was so screwed..

// Part v //

[justkending]

Used to Be Overlooked. Chapter 21.

Summary: Steve Rogers was walking down the streets of Brooklyn after finishing a mission. The goal was just to take some time to clear his mind along the city streets, but when he runs into a gorgeous young lady that looks extremely familiar… How can he go about moving on? Who is she? What does he know her from? Was that memory even from this decade?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (Rosalyn Ember/ Y/N ?)

Word Count: 3100+

A/N:I haven’t proof read this one all the way through, so I apologize in advance for errors! I will do it later today to double check! Enjoy and feedback is welcome!!!

Series Masterlist

Chapter 21:

You felt an ache throughout your whole body as you slowly started to wake. You felt weak. Drained. So weak that opening your eyes was the equivalent to lifting 3 tons of cement. You tried moving, but your muscles weren’t obeying. All that happened was a small twitch of your arm.

The small movement did more than you thought it would. It gave you a feeling of a strap across your middle that went from one arm over your torso to your other arm, effectively keeping you in one place.

As you struggled to move more, you heard a large metal door creak open. You stopped fighting realizing that looking unconscious may help you more right now.

“She’s secure?” the voice you knew well asked.

“Yes sir. We have her hooked up to monitor her heart rate, blood pressure, and also to start the transfusion when ready,” the dweeby voice of the assistant you grew to hate said. Now sounding older and more frail.

“Perfect. Wait until she’s awake. I want her to be able to talk to her before she passes out again,” the deep voice said proudly and getting closer to you. “Oh Miss. Y/N Erskine. I finally have you now, don’t I?” You felt a hand come up and gently caress a knuckle down your cheek. You would have cringed at the motion had you had the energy or ability to. “You look as if you haven’t even aged. Impressive,” he chuckled. “Still as stunning as ever, but that’s no surprise.”

“Um, Dr. Bates? Security was trying to get ahold of you for-”

“What now?” he huffed walking away and stomping loudly.

The doors opened again, and you heard the single set of footsteps leave. You waited a second to hear for any further noise. When you heard equipment moving you figured it was the little sidekick of Bates. 

Edgar. He was always so obedient to Bates. He was annoying as hell and didn’t have a mind for himself, but deep down, you always felt for him. No matter how cruel he was to you all those years ago. He was very much a follower and was always lost in following a path of his own. You knew if you talked to him, and tried to convince him of doing good you could probably push him in the right direction, but whenever you did, he would always find some way to shut you up.

After a lot of energy focused on moving your head, you were able to roll it to face the other side of the room. That movement lead to you getting a little more power as you woke your muscles up. You slowly began opening your eyes and blinking gradually.

Again, your energy started becoming more and more powerful. You opened your mouth and were able to talk in a hushed whisper to start.

“I see he’s still got you whipped,” your voice was hoarse and quite, but he still heard, quickly turning to you.

He was shy. Didn’t say much to you. He turned giving you a look before looking down at the gadget he was playing with ignoring you.

“Not much of a talker still too. Wow. It’s as if nothing has changed.” Again he ignored you. You cleared your voice as best as you could and continued to talk. “Bate’s is still obsessed with me. Still can’t seem to understand science. Then you still don’t have a mind of your own. Still following him around like a lost puppy waiting for instruction, Edgar?”

He turned back giving you a glare and moving to the IV that was in your arm. You looked up seeing it was attached to some blue liquid, but couldn’t place what it was.

“Why are you doing this Edgar? How are you still even alive?” you asked looking back at him.

You just now got to processing him. He was old and hunched over from age. His sandy blond hair was no longer that, and was a deep grey now. Wrinkles were prominent on his face showing just how long he had been alive. Probably late 70’s. I mean he was just a kid when you first met him. Almost 60 years had passed.

“Boss helped me. I’m functioning better than I should be,” he answered never looking at you, but instead, fidgeting with the dose of the blue serum.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been doing this all these years,” you sighed rolling your eyes. He didn’t answer. “Of course you have. Why would I think differently?”

You turned taking in the room around you.

It was a high tech lab. Tables of computers, chemicals, utensils, and so much more. You looked down seeing you were strapped to a table with three big giant black leather straps; while the table sat up at an angle to where you were close to standing if you weren’t off the ground.

“You could have got out of this Edgar. Had a family. Kids. Lived your life, not-”

“Awake I see?” that damn voice said again walking in with a satisfied stride. “Are you tormenting Edgar still? It truly is like old times, isn't it?” He said with a smug smirk as he walked up to you.

“Garrison Bates.” The bane of your existence. The tall dark brown peppered gray hair, brown eyed, clean shaved face, of the man you once loved, and now despise. “What a tragedy to see you again,” you said with a fake smile before letting it fall and rolling your eyes.

“Easy there Y/N. You keep that up and I’ll think you’re flirting with me,” he said lifting your chin with his index finger like earlier.

“Touch me and you won’t have fingers to work with,” you seethed.

“Oh my, I see that fire in you hasn’t dimmed after all these years. Got to say, I admire it,” he said placing his hand behind his back and walking over to the computer Edgar was at earlier. “Your vital signs all look good and ready to go.”

“Go for what-”

“Edgar, you can start the serum,” he said ignoring you and nodding to his assistant. Edgar nodded back and added another IV to your other arm.

“What are you doing?” you said trying to wiggle, but the straps weren’t helping with your low energy thing.

“Adding a little something to help slow the healing process. Can’t have you healing up as I extract blood. We do that and you’ll be fighting us. Got to keep you slow,” Garrison explained crossing his legs as he wheeled a chair over to you. “Now let’s talk about how exquisite you look. You’ve only gotten better with the times, Y/N. Aged like very fine wine,” he said looking you up and down. You looked down realizing that you were in your sports bra and leggings. Your tank top and hoodie were gone leaving you more exposed than you liked.

You scoffed looking back at Garrison who was biting his lip at you.

“Can’t say the same for you Garrison. What? It’s been 60 years give or take… Doesn’t look like you’ve been aging as well as me, and wasn’t that the whole purpose?” you sassed.

He jumped from his chair and stood inches from you. Anger painting his face.

“Maybe if you would just give me the formula, I wouldn’t be like this. Instead, you keep it for yourself like the selfish brat you are,” he gritted through his teeth.

“There’s a reason I don’t give out the formula. So slimy, power hungry, self-centered, egotistical FAT HEADS like you, don’t get their hands on it,” you said each word like the diss it was. This man was a horrible excuse for a human, and only wanted the information out of you for the pieces of immortality it served.

His expression hardened, before turning softer.

“You always knew how to rile me up didn’t you Y/N/N… Well, I won’t give you the satisfaction,” he breathed turning around. “Edgar, how’s it going?”

“Almost done…” he paused. You looked down seeing him flip a switch and the new liquid start to flow into the IV. “There. All set sir.”

“Great. Now Y/N, you are going to be feeling a tad bit woozy in the next few seconds, but don’t worry I’ll make this as fast as possible. Kinda need to get a move on things.”

“What are you-” then it hit you. The cold fluid started moving through your veins. You took a deep breath in at the sting it left.

“Yeah, it doesn't feel too great. We’ll let that run for a second before extracting some blood. Just need to see how your cells react to it,” he explained walking circles around the table you were propped on. You tried to follow his movement with your eyes, but your head fell back in exhaustion. You were weak again. “We have quite the plans for you. I have it all mapped out too. Only downside is-”

“The Avengers,” you answered quietly.

“Good job, dollface.” You grimaced at the nickname. “The only time I could really pounce on you was at the Avengers compound. Trust me, I wanted to do it another time, but when duty calls, you pick up the phone,” he shrugged. “Anyway, because of that little ‘issue’ we are going to have to relocate every once in a while. Can’t have them getting close now can we?”

He brushed some hair out of your face, and you closed your eyes in disgust at the contact.

“Speaking of getting close. It looks like you and Captain America have been growing pretty fond of each other.” He paused for a reaction but you didn’t give one. “Awe, now don’t go all timid on me now. I mean the way he looked at you in that dress, and the way you looked at him in his little suite. It was cute. Can’t say I wasn’t jealous though. You looked at him in a way you never looked at me,” he shrugged. He had been there, and you were too oblivious to notice. This is why you were nervous to let your guard down in the first place. Look where it led you. “But the dress… That’s what threw me over the edge. You were-”

“Shut. Up,” you mumbled.

“Hush now. I’m trying to compliment you.”

“Don’t. I don’t want your compliments.”

“Fine. Have it your way hardhead,” he said throwing his hands up in fake surrender. “Edgar, how long?”

“14 minutes sir.”

“Perfect. I’ll be right back. You take care of her now Edgar. Can’t have my little experiment getting away. Again.” He walked over you cupping your now dangling head in his hand. “Come now Y/N. Did you ever thing you would be able to hide that easily?”

Your eyes were heavy but your were able to send him a glare still. He smirked before dropping your head not so gently and turned out the door with a new stride.

Next thing you knew, everything faded into black.

___

“Update Nat,” Steve said coming toward the front of the plane where Clint and her were flying.

“Nothing new yet. Security sent the camera shots with the car that we think may have been theirs and we are tracking from there. We should have a location in about 3-4 minutes,” Nat explained as she continued to click away on the tablet on the side.

“Did they really think they could get that far? What if this is all to easy?” Sam asked as he strapped his suit on.

“I don’t know, but any lead is still a lead. I would rather show up to an empty spot than not go at all and risk missing her,” Steve said hanging his head as he placed his hands on his belt. Something he did when concentrated on a mission.

Wanda walked over placing a calming hand on his shoulder.

“Steve. We’ll find her. They may think they have the jump on us, but we got Stark’s technology. We have the upper hand,” she smiled up at him.

He turned his head and gave her a soft smile.

“Thanks Wanda,” he said patting her hand. “I’m just scared on why they took her,” he paused thinking it over and then looking to Tony. “You don’t think they know-”

“I have a good feeling that if they took her from our home, they know,” Tony said bluntly. “Hate to tell ya Cap, but I don’t really have another explanation.”

He nodded knowing he was right, but not really wanting to hear it.

“Cap, I got something!” Nat shouted making Steve run back to the front.

___

“How’s it looking Edgar?” you hear Garrison’s voice say from the side, but it almost felt like a dream.

It was like the first time you were knocked out. You had no energy to show you were awake. Everything was heavy and your body wasn’t listening to any commands you were giving it.

“Good. I ended the serum and drew some blood for the sampling. I tested to see if the chemicals from the serum would effect modifying her blood for dissecting the formula and it looks like it did the job we were hoping for. I think we finally got it,” Edgar answered.

“We got it?”

“Yes sir. I believe we did.”

“Finally,” Garrison said in an evil tone. “Go ahead and start the blood extraction. I want a few pints before we start the transfusion to be safe.”

“Yes sir.”

“And Edgar? Good job. You finally did something right,” You heard footsteps coming to you and instead of stopping and silence, you felt a rough hand grab your cheeks and push your head up. “Wakey, wakey, dollface. It’s time for the games to begin.”

You tried blinking your eyes open and a groan made a way through your lips.

“That’s it. Welcome back bug,” he said once you opened them wide enough to see his evil grin. “I wanted you to be awake for the next part. You know, to catch up and all.”

“Screw. You,” you said almost winded by the energy it took.

“I’m sure you would love that,” he grinned again before throwing your head to the side.

You felt a pinch, and then saw a red line of where your blood was being drawn into blood bags.

“What happened to us Y/N? I mean, I thought we had it good. Then one day you spill your little secret to me, and then the next you’re three states over and moving every time I catch up to you,” he said unbuttoning his suit jacket, and throwing it over the chair that was next to you.

“Well,” you sighed. “It would help if after I had told you, you didn’t try dissecting me like a 6th grade science experiment for your own entertainment.”

“Entertainment? That’s what you thought I saw it as?” You shot him a tired glare which just made him tisk at you. “Darling, I loved you. We dated for what? 1958’-1960’? 2 whole years. Now back in those days, we might as well have been married and popping out little ones,” he said un-cuffing his wrist cuffs and rolling his sleeves to his elbows. “Then when you came to me telling me you had a little secret… Oh, I was scared. I thought we were pregnant out of wedlock, or you were cheating or something. Little did I know,” he brushed your hair out of your face. “You had a gift to give instead. The gift of near immortality.”

“It’s not a gift Garrison. It’s a curse,” you said staring deep into his eyes hoping he would catch on.

“I wouldn’t know. You never helped me understand,” he shrugged pushing away.

“I tried showing you! You just saw the parts you wanted!” you shouted best you could. It came out more hoarse and broken than you hoped, but the feelings of anger and disappointment were still prominent. “This isn’t a life you want Garrison. It’s not living at all-”

“YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT I WANT!” he shouted when he turned back to you.

You shrunk back in your spot. Face still stern, but not expecting that intense of a reaction. You looked over at Edgar who had retreated into himself, and did his best to make himself near to invisible in the corner. There was a long pause before Garrison continued. He ran a hand through his brown hair, and slightly messed it up with the gel that was holding it. You could finally see the age now. He was probably 10-20 years older than you in body years, and he looked to be in his 40’s. Which was still impressive considering he was actually nearing 80′s and 90′s.

“I loved you. I wanted a life with you. I wanted to grow with you. The only way to do that was to become like you,” he whispered.

Your eyes widened. That was the reason? That was why he tortured you, and treated you the way he did? That wasn’t love. That-That was- Hell, who knows?

“Why did you do the things you did then?” you whispered back. “You tore me apart.”

“You wouldn’t listen,” he answered standing straighter. “You wanted me to fix you, when I didn’t see something to fix.”

“Garrison-”

“Edgar. Are you almost ready?” he said composing himself, and not letting you see him vulnerable anymore.

“Y-Yes sir. We, uh, we can begin the transfusion,” Edgar stuttered.

“Good. Hook me up,” he walked over to the chair sat next to you, and rolled his sleeves up more so Edgar could insert the needle.

“This isn’t the answer. There is something bigger here, and you know it.” you said looking down at him, but he didn’t budge. He continued to look forward as Edgar worked around him. “I’m sorry you see it this way,” you said softly before throwing your head softly back on the cold metal table. You closed your eyes as you felt exhaustion start to overtake you again.

__

“Okay Cap. This is the place the license plate led us,” Clint said landing the quin-jet a good distance away. “The likelihood of them being able to move before we got here is low.”

“What about the likelihood of this being the place?” Steve asked looking out into the forested area.

“There was only one other pairs of cars that left the compound around the time Y/N was taken, and we already tracked seeing that those were harmless. Just agents going into the field and visitors going back home,” Nat answered.

“Ok. So this is it?” Steve said as the back opened.

“99% sure. The only thing now is where in that building,” Clint said as they all lined up.

“And that’s where I come in,” Tony said as the helmet of his suit shut. “I’m going to do a perimeter check and scan of the building with Friday. I’ll have a room for you in 2 minutes tops.”

Next thing, Tony was off in the skies.

“Ok team, we need to do this quickly and efficiently. We don’t know why they took Y/N, and we don’t know what they’ve done to her. We need to secure her first before we take care of the individuals responsible for this.” Steve instructed putting his helmet on. “If you find her before anyone else does, bring her right back here. Bruce you stay here unless code green is needed, and when Y/N is brought back, do a check on her alongside the nurses. She’ll want a familiar face.”

“Got it,” Bruce nodded placing his arms over his chest.

“Romanoff and Barton, you two stay together. Get to a security room to give us eyes on the inside. Vision, Sam, and Stark will work the sky and keep a birds eye view of everything around, and take out anyone who poses a threat, looks like they are going to give us away, or tries to get away.” 

Sam and Vision nodded their heads and started to make their way through the forest before taking off with Stark. Steve turned back to the last two avengers. 

“Wanda, Bucky, you’re with me. Let’s go get her,” he nodded, getting the same look from them. They turned leaving the jet and started racing to find the bunker where you were being held in.

Chapter 22

Used to be Overlooked Tag:

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If I tagged you and you aren’t normally on my tag list, I thought you would enjoy the story. Fair warning, it is a slow burn so we will get to the bottom of the issue later, but the burn is what makes it soooooo sweet. I’m really excited for this series, and would love your feedback:) Thank you!

If you want removed let me know.

[avengerscompound]

The Unicorn - Chapter 14

The Unicorn:  A Pepperony Fanfic PREVIOUS

Series Masterlist

Buy me a coffee with Ko-fi Word Count:    2075

Pairing:  Tony Stark x F!Reader x Pepper Potts

Warnings:  Sex talk.  Pregnancy

Synopsis:  The three of you go house shopping in New York to see if you can find something you’re all happy with.

Chapter 14

Over the next few weeks, things ramped up a lot.  There was another ultrasound to be had at 8 weeks and Tony and Pepper were determined to figure out where you should all live that gave the best options for school and work.

You seemed completely nonplussed on the issue.  You still went to Avengers training in the early morning and you continued going to your lab in the afternoon.  Just now before you left you seemed to struggle with the thought that you might throw up first.

By the time of the eight-week ultrasound, you weren't just thinking about it.  You had to factor in an extra ten minutes for throwing up before you made your way down for the dawn run.  It never stopped you though.  If you could go to training hungover a little bit of morning sickness wasn't going to stop you.

The strange thing was that Pepper seemed to be suffering with it too.  Initially, the three of you had put it on her just not handling vomit very well.  It wasn’t a totally uncommon thing that when someone threw up it might set someone else off.  Pepper had never been the weak stomached type but it was possible worries about the pregnancy was already making her slightly nauseated.

By the time of the ultrasound both Tony and you were teasing her about it being sympathy vomit.

The ultrasound went fine everyone was excited to see the twins again.  They still kind of just looked like a weird blurry picture of packaging peanuts.   Tony did still feel both relieved and excited when he heard the fast squish-squish sound of their heartbeats.

After the ultrasound, the three of you went to the first of the choices for the new home.  New York City.

When Tony had made the move to the compound he’d dissolved all his property.  Avengers Tower had become the Baxter Building.  It was probably the least practical course for them because it would mean reopening a branch of Stark Industry so that Pepper had an office and you had a lab, buying a home, and possibly opening a branch of the Avengers if you were set on remaining on the team after your maternity leave was up.

Tony had booked them the penthouse suite at the Gramercy Park while they looked at options.

“Dalton.  That’s the reason.”  Pepper said.  Her heels clicked loudly on the garish marble floors of the Upper East Side mansion they were inspecting.

The house was hideous.  The ‘American Renaissance’ period of architecture was a travesty.  The whole place, with its marble floors, chandeliers, ceiling murals featuring cherubs and gold scrollwork, looked more like a museum than a home.  It was dated, to say the least.  And dated to a period of opulence with no taste or subtlety.  All Tony could think was apart from the library which he’d keep for Pepper (the murals would have to go), the pool and the cinema, he’d gut the whole thing and start over.

“I don’t know, Pep.  It could have 100 Dalton’s but there’s no yard…”

“There’s a roof garden.”

“You want the twins playing on the roof?”  He said raising an eyebrow.

“Right, of course.”  She said heading into the kitchen.  “This is nice.”

“Yeah.  Very light and spacious.  I still think… I’d have to invest at least a cool billion to have us set up and even then it wouldn’t be right and it doesn’t feel like a home.”  He said running his hand over the floating kitchen island.

“What do you think?”  Pepper asked turning to you.

“I don’t love it.”  You said.  “I mean, doesn’t it scream masked orgy to you?  I bet naked asses have been all over everything.”

“Oh yeah.  I thought it looked familiar.”  Tony teased.

“God, you’re disgusting,”  Pepper said, whacking him.  Tony laughed and rubbed his arm.  “Well, we don’t have to get this one.  There were more options.”

“Yeah, but they’ll all be either Townhouses or Penthouses.  They won’t be where we can teach them to ride their bikes or run around with their dog.  We’ll have to take them to the park every time we want to do something like that.”  Tony said.  “Plus there’s the other investments involved.  S.I. is upstate now.  I’d have to reopen here.”

“The Avengers.”  You added.

“Yeah, I moved that because it was unsafe to have it just - in the middle of the city.”  Tony agreed.

Pepper pursed her lips.  She didn’t like that you wanted to stay with the Avengers the same way she didn’t like that Tony wouldn’t give up being Iron Man back in the day.  “We can consider it though right?  That’s what we’re doing here?  Looking at each option and picking the best?”

“Yeah, you're right.  Being here is better than in the compound.”  Tony conceded.  “I don't know how big the pull to Dalton is compared to just buying land near the compound and building exactly what we want though.”

“There aren't any schools around the compound though.”  Pepper complained.

“Start your own one, Elon Musk style.”  You said.

“We are not starting our own one like Elon.”  Pepper said sternly.

“I don't know… Maybe we should.  Give another incentive for people to stay on if it was more family friendly.”  Tony said with a shrug.

“Tony…”  Pepper sighed.  He knew that tone so he dropped it.

You went out to the balcony and looked out over the park.  Tony came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.  “It is a cool city though.”  You said.

“I won't argue that.”  He agreed, kissing your neck.

“Can we get out of this house?  I feel like I'm in a museum and the temptation to just touch everything for no good reason is making my fingers itchy.”  You said.

Tony chuckled and his hands ran over your stomach.  It was still far too early to show.  Even so, he loved that he could touch you and know that his children were in there and it wouldn’t be too long until he got to hold them.  It helped put that nervous impatience he felt in check.  “I’d gut it if we bought it.”

“Oh, yeah?”  You said turning in his arms.  “Not the library.”

“No, but that mural for sure.  I’d make it more shelves.”

“Oh, tell me more.”

“All the ugly ass marble and gold would go.  I’d change the light fittings to something sleeker but still a feature.  I’d keep timber as a feature, but make it less ornate.  Sleek lines but the timber would make it feel more home than office like.  The art would be modern but not surreal.  Maybe some Warhol and Pollack.  Maybe include some impressionists to break it up.  I’d install FRIDAY obviously.  The kitchen would be a similar layout but modern.  White and black.  Granite tops not marble.  I'd make the first floor about entertaining and the top two for us.  Bedrooms.  Living room.  That would be our family space.  It would be warmer colors.  Colors that take mess more.  I'd put a lab for us in the basement.  Probably a garage too but I might keep my of my collection out here.  There would be an office for Pep.  A gym.  I'd keep the cinema and the pool.”

You grinned and pecked his lips.  “Your mind has been racing even though you don't want this place.”

“Well, I mostly just want my girls to be happy.  If buying this eyesore makes you happy, then I’m happy.”  He said.

“That’s sweet.  But it won’t.  I don’t even think Pepper is sold on it.”  You said pulling him back inside.  “God, that bathroom is going to be in my nightmares.  The green marble toilet.”

Tony laughed.  “Yeah, that would be first to go.”

They made their back inside and found Pepper coming down the stairs followed by the real estate agent.  “Okay.  Let's go.  I think I’ve seen enough.”

“Good.  Let’s get something to eat.”  Tony said.  “I’m feeling Gray’s Papaya.”

Pepper scrunched her nose.  “I think the smell would make me throw up.”   She said.  “If you want local let’s go to Katz’s.”

You looked her up and down.  “You’re gonna need to dial in this sympathy sickness thing or see a doctor because I feel like you’re stealing my thunder.”

She scowled.  “I’m not doing it on purpose.”

“So, go see a doctor.”  You pushed.

Tony followed you outside where Happy was waiting with the car.  The three of you slid into the back seat and Pepper huffed.  “I just… it’s only in the mornings or certain smells.  It’s got to just be some weird sympathy thing.”

“Maybe you’re actually pregnant,”  Tony said.  He’d meant it as a joke but as soon as the words were out of his mouth it was like something clicked into place.  Maybe she was pregnant.  He couldn’t remember when she last had her period, and they’d been tracking it regularly right up until they did the first IVF run with you.

“Ha-ha, very funny, Tony.”  Pepper snarked.

“But maybe you are pregnant, Pepper.”  You said.

“You do kind of look like you’re glowing.”  Happy added looking in the rearview mirror.

“No.  How could I be?  We did all that IVF.”  She stopped talking and seemed to try and count something off on her fingers.  “How could I be?”

“Hap, stop at a pharmacy and get some pregnancy tests would you?”  Tony said.

“You got it, boss.”  Happy replied and swerved the car around, double parking it outside a CVS on Lexington.  He jumped out and ran inside as horns sounded behind him and someone cursed them as they went around.

“But… we couldn’t.  It wasn’t working.”  Pepper said.

“I can’t explain it Pepper, but it’s possible, right?  It would explain this.”  Tony said.

“How come you get glowing and I get a breakout on my jaw?”  You snarked.

“The glow is oily skin.”  Pepper said absentmindedly.  “It depends on how dry your skin was to begin with.”

“God damn it.”  You cursed.

“What will we do?”  Pepper said looking at him.  “We already have twins.”

“Triplets?”  Tony said making an exaggerated shrug.  He was pretty far from actually being worried about this.  He was actually pretty excited at the thought of the possibility of a large instant family.

“Does it count as triplets if two different people are carrying them?”  You asked.

“I don’t know.  I mean, they’re genetically me and Pepper and they’ll be due roughly the same time.” He mused.  “What counts?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s housed in the same uterus.”  You said.

“Can we please argue about that when I’m not freaking out”  Pepper groaned.

Happy ran back out and jumped into the car passing the paper bag back to Tony.  “Hotel?”  He asked.

“Yes, please,”  Pepper said.

“And can you swing past Katz’s after.  Get us some Matzo Ball Soup, a garden salad, and a Reuben.”  Tony added.

“And Knish.”  You added.  “Potato ones.”

“Sure thing.”  Happy said pulling back into traffic.

He drove the three of you back to the Gramercy and Tony lead you and Pepper back up to the Penthouse.  Pepper was in full panic mode by the time they got upstairs and rushed straight into the main bathroom and locked the door.

“Are you okay in there, Pepper?”  You called, leaning on the door.

“Yes, leave me alone to pee in peace.”  She called back.

You snorted and moved to Tony.  “Well then,”  You said.  “I bet she is.”

“I’m not taking that bet.”  He said.

“Oh go on.  A billion dollars.  I’ll bet you a billion dollars.”

“What do you need a billion dollars for?”

You shrugged and flopped down on the couch.   The door opened and Pepper slumped out.  “Positive.  There wasn’t even a wait for lines to show.  It was right away.”

Tony rushed to her side and pulled her into a hug.  A second later you had slammed into their sides and hugged them both tightly.

“Oh my god, this is amazing,”  Tony said.

“We’re going to be pregnant at the same time.  How awesome is that?”  You added.

“I don’t - how - how do we do this?”  She said.  “How did this happen?”

Tony really didn’t know the answer to that.  All he knew for sure was he had the resources and he was excited.  He was going to be part of a big family and he’d make sure they didn’t have to worry about anything.

// NEXT