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stewardofningishzida · 9 months

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Stephen Strange Meta-Fic Sequel — Chapter 15: Who Broke It?

More character bonding and development, plus some backstory! Not all is revealed, but enough to wonder. Also, multiverse shenanigans ahoy! The start of more to come in future chapters. Be warned: This chapter goes hard into real-life situations too.

TRIGGER WARNING: Attempted kidnapping, coping with grief/loss, mention of fatal house fires, mention of drunk drivers, mention of a mental breakdown

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Chapter 15: Who Broke It?

*We’re gathered together in the library, studying for our Master’s Trials.*

Me (concentrating hard on an advanced spellbook): Trix, am I translating this phrase right? Is it “नोद” or “आकर्षति”?

Trix (slightly distracted): The first one. *She continues on her work.*

Prettywitch: What are you working on, exactly?

Trix (looking up): Me or Steward? Because I’m working on creating more concise spell books from ancient texts that they were having difficulty translating. It gets my translating going, my record keeping and textual context practice in, and eventually my book binding. I have to do at least like four more of these so Wong won’t just stare at me when I ask if it’s enough for now.

Prettywitch: Oh sorry, I meant Steward.

Me: I have to go back under Kamar-Taj and sort out the spiritual wards and interact more with the guardian spirits down there. Update them, train new ones, etc. There are also a few older spirits who are ready to move on while the new ones come in. Also, I have to report my findings. Then, The Ancient One wants me to try some new techniques so I can refine my abilities.

Trix: What are you up to PrettyWitch?

Prettywitch: Oh, well I’m trying to see if maybe I can make my visions come at will. Or at least, trying to, anyway.

Me: Did Stephen have any advice?

Prettywitch: Actually, I haven’t talked to him about it yet.

Me: I’d ask him. No shame in asking for help. I wish I knew more about foresight beyond the basics so I could give you anything useful. *I really do want to help, but her skill level with this type of magic is beyond mine.*

Prettywitch: No, you’re right. I gotta get better at asking for help anyway. *She picks up her tarot deck and stands up.*

Trix: I wish you luck! Honestly, yours is the trickiest and I have all the respect in the world for you figuring it out and being so good at it already!

Prettywitch: *Laughs awkward* Ah, it’s nothing. I wish I had your power, honestly. It’d make international travel much easier for Moi.

Trix: Thank god the days of my brain breaking are over. I do have to learn how to speak everything though…which is likely to suck. But hey, all of ours are pretty interesting *She chuckles as she rubs the back of her head awkwardly.*

Me: We’ve all made it pretty far, huh? *I’m proud of us.*

Trix: Absolutely. I don’t think I would have made it without you guys.

Prettywitch: Yeah…Yeah, me too. I probably would’ve gone insane without you guys.

Me: Likewise. You guys already know what a mess I was in before meeting you all in the first place. *I give a morbid smirk and look at the floor for a moment before perking back up.* Anyway, back to work! I should go see what I can do with those ghosts.

Trix (jokingly): If you ever teach them to sing Grim Grinning Ghosts I will give you $100. *She grins*

Me (playing along): I’m sure they do get bored down there…I may have to give it a shot. *I’m amused.*

Prettywitch: *Laughs* Alright, I’m gonna go find Stephen. Ciao! *She waves goodbye and leaves the room.*

Me: The psychic connection’s almost always open. Contact me if there’s anything going on. *I get up to head to the basement.*

Trix: Good luck! I’ll stay here and keep working on these translations!

*Meanwhile, Blackie has been training with Wong and has improved considerably. She has risen to the rank of Adept.*

*A small mist forms outside the temple to Karmar-Taj. It slowly turns into Stephen, but one from a different universe. He leans his hand against the wall for a moment to catch his breath. He takes in his surroundings and sees where he is; Karmar-Taj. He decides to make his way in.*

*He senses some rather distinctive magical signatures…That and the spiritual energy in the complex is shifting. Old spirits departing and new spirits joining. Someone new is weaving the enchantments.*

*That when he feels a familiar magic signature. One that feels different, yet familiar all at the same time. He turns and sees Prettywitch and is stunned to see her. He goes up to her.*

Broken Stephen: Hello…?

Prettywitch: *She gets startled and looks up to see who it is…only to be confused.* Stephen…?

Broken Stephen: What? Oh yes, it’s me. *He clears his throat.* Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.

Prettywitch: Uhh…No, that’s okay…*She looks him up and down, cautiously. Sure, this man looks like Stephen Strange, but there are subtle differences in his aura. The Stephen she knows has a more relaxed aura, this one’s aura feels sporadic, like it doesn’t know who or what it wants to be. And that terrifies her, not because it’s an unfamiliar Stephen, but because of who this Stephen’s reminding her of.* I was actually coming to look for you.

Broken Stephen: Well, you’ve found me. Why don’t we go for a walk?

Prettywitch: Actually, why don’t we go get some tea first? I don’t know about you, but I’m parched.

Broken Stephen: Oh, okay.

*Prettywitch leaves for the temple with this other Stephen behind her. She has no idea how long she can keep this up, but hopefully she can find Stephen soon. If not? Well, it’s not like she doesn’t have magic at her disposal.*

*Luckily, she sees Stephen and Clea walking towards them.*

*616-Stephen is walking at a brisk pace. It seems he sensed something “off” and wanted to go check it out. When he sees this new Stephen walking with Prettywitch, he speeds up more, but does his best to remain composed.*

616-Stephen: Excuse me, can we help you? *He’s looking at his alternate self, already suspicious. He also casts a short glance at Prettywitch to see if she’s indicating anything to him.*

Prettywitch: Oh, Stephen. I was looking for you, I just happened to find this guy- *She feels Broken Stephen grab her shoulder and pull her away while he fabricates a shard from thin air and points it at Stephen & Clea.*

616-Stephen (growling): You do realize that there are two of us and one of you, right? *He opens a portal underneath his alternate self in an attempt to trap him and sends his Cloak to grab Prettywitch back, looking to Clea to run interference if needed.*

Broken Stephen (now floating and having blocked the Cloak): I’m aware of that. *Grins.* But I doubt you can beat me.

Clea: Would you like to test that theory?

Broken Stephen: *Laughs* If you’re so eager to lose your life, then come at me, faltine.

*The whole time they’re boasting, Prettywitch is quickly conjuring her makeshift Clow Card staff and a familiar looking card to boot.*

Prettywitch: Yeah, well. See you around, Bateman. Time!!! *She activates the card, which only affects the Stephen holding her captive. She slowly removes his hand from her shoulder and draws another card.* Sword!!! *Her staff becomes a sword, which she uses to destroy the shield blocking the Cloak. Then she holds her hand out. *

*The Cloak acts quickly and grabs her to get her away from this hostile version of Strange. 616-Stephen summons a pair of cuffs and restrains his doppleganger.*

Prettywitch: Thanks, Cloakie.

616-Stephen (concerned, at Prettywitch): Are you okay?

Prettywitch: Yeah, I’m okay.

Clea: That was a most impressive feat of magic.

Prettywitch: Thanks, but I don’t know how long it’ll last for.

616-Stephen: I’ll get him to a holding cell. *He opens a portal and pushes the man through.*

*In the meantime, I’ve finished up my tasks. The enchantments are back up, I helped 3 spirits move on, and integrated 3 new ones into the barriers. My aura has gotten a bit stronger from me having absorbed the leftover dregs of energy left behind from the spirits that moved onto the afterlife. On my way up from the undercroft, I notice what appears to be Stephen in a holding cell, but he looks “off”. Not to mention his aura is a bit different. This one looks more desperate. His eyes are bloodshot and his appearance is slightly neglected. I can’t help but stare in confusion.*

Me (trying to figure this out): What the hell…?

*Broken Stephen looks up and sees Steward.*

Broken Stephen: Steward…?

Me (tilting my head curiously): …Yes?

*I’m suspicious and won’t give any other information, but I’m privately assessing what might be going on. He sees me watching him.*

Broken Stephen: What’s wrong…?

Me (calmly): Nothing. I’m just gonna head back up. *I’m not giving anything away with my expression and turn to leave, watching him out of the corner of my eye.*

*Broken Stephen watches her leave and stares at the ground like a sad puppy…a sad puppy that soon begins to look angry.*

*I speed up when I notice the change in expression. Meanwhile, upstairs in the courtyard, Wong has joined the group and is getting information from 616-Stephen.*

Wong: I see. A hostile version of yourself from another universe. You do have a talent for attracting such things, don’t you, Strange? *He’s exasperated at the situation. Though not mad at his friend.*

*I emerge from the basement.*

Me: Hey guys, did you see-Oh. Ehhhhh…I dunno how long that cell’s gonna hold. He’s already pretty pissed off. *I shift uneasily.*

Prettywitch: Oh? That bad, huh?

Wong: We’ll have to figure out which universe he came from and send him back. We can put up wards to block off specific realms.

Prettywitch: Yeah, but are we gonna do with Patrick Bateman in the meantime.

616-Stephen: We’ll have to neutralize his magic so he can’t pull anything.

Me: He seemed to want to talk, but I already had my internal alarm bells going off. That’s why I ran up here. Better to not give any information to someone we suspect is dangerous.

616-Stephen: I’ll go down and seal him.

Me: Please be careful.

*He gives a quick nod and heads down to the undercroft.*

*Broken Stephen is just sitting in the corner of his cage hugging his legs when he hears someone approaching. He looks up and sees the other him, the one who belongs to this universe.*

Broken Stephen: *Grumbles* So, Mr. Pretty Boy’s come to visit.

616-Stephen (cautious): It didn’t have to be this way. We could have just talked.

Broken Stephen: *Shrugs.* If you say so.

616-Stephen: Will you tell me why you decided to try and kidnap Prettywitch?

Broken Stephen: *He’s silent for a moment.* Because you don’t deserve her.

616-Stephen (raising an eyebrow): What makes you think that? *He’s privately getting angry, but keeping it well-hidden.*

Broken Stephen: It’s not fair! Why? Why do you get to keep your girls while I lose mine?

616-Stephen: Tell me what happened. *He’s still willing to listen, if only to figure out his other self’s motives and whether or not he can peacefully resolve this. Stephen figures he’ll give this alternate version of himself one chance to be reasonable before he has to enact the sealing ritual.*

Broken Stephen: *Sighs* Agatha kidnapped Trix. We needed to rescue her, so the Avengers and the girls found her hideout. Lang went in to set-up an explosive device to level her house and…I stupidly let the girls go in with him to find Trix. *He starts tensing up.* Before I knew it, a fight broke out between the girls and Agatha as they escaped. I tried to…I tried to save them, but…but it was too late. She killed Trix, right in front of her friends. Before the others had a chance she…vaporized them…I…I couldn’t…I couldn’t…*He curls himself into a ball and softly sobs into his knees.*

*616-Stephen watches him and listens silently. Hearing this, he is filled with compassion for his counterpart. This one has experienced his worst fears realized in this past year. He stays calm in an effort to be professional, but he does want to help.*

616-Stephen (sincere): I’m sorry…Honestly, that scenario came dangerously close here too. The only things in their favor were luck and the ghost that happened to be following Steward at the time…That and Lang decided to get clever and sent several colonies of ants into the cabin to distract Harkness. She apparently almost stepped on the group while they were miniaturized, but they narrowly avoided it. I didn’t want them to go on the mission in the first place, but we couldn’t find any suitable alternative. The girls were hell-bent on acting. So, Prettywitch stayed outside the cabin to provide cover fire while Steward went in with Tear and Lang to steal Trix’s crystal. It worked with a very narrow escape. Look…I’m sorry that this happened to you, but kidnapping different versions of them isn’t the answer.

Broken Stephen: *Chuckles defeatedly.* I know, but…What am I supposed to do?...I don’t have a place to call home anymore.

616-Stephen: What happened to the Sanctum?

Broken Stephen: Don’t worry, it’s still standing.

*616-Stephen listens, trying to figure out what else happened.*

Broken Stephen: You see, I…I left. I used the time machine we keep in the Avengers compound to travel back in time, so I could save them. I wasn’t successful. But I didn’t give up. I tried again and again and again. I hadn’t noticed things had changed until I looked out the window…I…I saw Scott and Hope’s wedding being held on the courtyard…they introduced Wong as Sorcerer Supreme when he came up to MC. That’s when I knew…I was gone for so long they must’ve thought something happened to me…So I left…

616-Stephen: You may want to consider returning. They might still have a place for you. While I was Blipped in this universe for 5 years, Wong became Sorcerer Supreme. After I came back, he trained me to take the role and then abdicated. You know Wong…He prefers his books to administrative work. *He tries to make a small joke in an attempt to comfort his counterpart.*

Broken Stephen: *He shakes his head.* You don’t understand. I acted selfishly. Instead of grieving, I took it upon myself to play God and in doing so, neglected the friends and responsibilities I still had…just like I did when I lost my hands. I don’t deserve to be Sorcerer Supreme of my World, or any world for that matter…But I’m…I’m just so lonely…

*616-Stephen genuinely wants to help his counterpart. At the same time, he knows that this one has nothing left to lose. So, he errs on the side of caution and doesn’t release Broken Stephen from the holding cell just yet.*

616-Stephen: …I can’t pretend to know exactly how you’re feeling, but I have an inkling. Unfortunately, I can’t release you just yet, but we can continue to talk this out. *He’s being honest.*

Broken Stephen: I try abducting your girls and you still wanna reason with me? *He laughs harshly.* I don’t know if you’re just stupid or naive.

616-Stephen (shrugging, not letting this one get under his skin): I’m another version of you. So, you tell me. I’m just as human as you are. I simply wanted to see if we could resolve this peacefully first.

Broken Stephen: I suppose…

616-Stephen: That and if you took them by force and/or harmed me in the process, they would only resent you. The only way this could work out for everyone is if you stand down and agree to negotiate peacefully.

Broken Stephen:*He takes a while to think about this.* No. No, you’re right. They would resent me if I did that to them…but I’m not sure if I’m ready to accept that just yet.

616-Stephen: Have you attempted to abduct other versions of them before?

Broken Stephen: Yes.

616-Stephen: How did that work out for you?

Broken Stephen: Not good. I’d always end up hating myself for doing it.

616 Stephen: What did you do to them after you took them?

Broken Stephen: I’d kidnap but after a while, they escaped or I’d let them. I tried several times to use magic many times to make their will bend to mine, but…I could never bring myself to do it.

616-Stephen: I see…*He watches his counterpart as he speaks.*

Broken Stephen: I would see the horror in their eyes and just…stop.

*Meanwhile, since it’s been a long time, I decide to go down and check on what’s happening, albeit secretly via astral projection first. I lie down and project myself out of my body, phasing through the ground to invisibly check on the undercroft. I silently hover nearby behind 616-Stephen.*

Broken Stephen: They reminded me so much of Donna at that moment. How scared she'd be whenever it was thundering or whenever mom and dad fought. And I remembered all I wanted was to protect her…and them.

*616-Stephen is silent for a while hearing this. It brings back some memories that he had been hoping to repress. He senses a certain energy behind his shoulder and glances over.*

Broken Stephen: Are you sensing something, too?

*I silently go to phase back through the ceiling of the undercroft, trying to avoid being caught.*

*I rejoin my body and head down since it seems they’re just talking.*

Me (awkwardly): Erm…Is everything okay down here?

616-Stephen (flatly, with slight annoyance): Yes, Nosey. Did you seriously think that we wouldn’t notice you astral-projecting into here?

*I turn red.*

Me (defensive): I just wanted to check on you. It’s been a while since you went down. *I’m slightly embarrassed at having been caught so quickly.*

*Broken Stephen chuckles at Steward before returning to his depressed state.*

Me: What exactly has been going on here?

616-Stephen: Just getting some information. *He’s still guarded.*

Me: So, why is this happening, then?

616-Stephen: It’s a long story, but in short, Harkness killed all of you in this version of me’s timeline. He was kidnapping other versions of you to try and overcome his grief and loneliness.

Me (quietly): Oh…I’m sorry. *I look at the floor.*

Broken Stephen: It’s okay.

Me (gently): …I know it’s not exactly the same situation, nor does anyone process grief in the same way, but maybe I could help?

616-Stephen: As long as the situation remains safe.

*I nod at him and then look at Broken Stephen.*

Me: So…wanna talk?

Broken Stephen: *He’s taken aback by this…for a moment. He gives her a small smile.* Sure.

*I sit down on the floor just to get the strain off of my legs. 616-Stephen stays nearby just in case.*

Me (serious): Okay…Well, I kinda know what it’s like to have grief slowly eat you alive…I don’t like talking about this stuff much and generally try to keep things light, but in this case, it’s probably good to confront what’s going on. *I take a deep breath to calm myself before continuing.* I’ve lost a lot of people I loved. Eleven of them. Some to accidents, some to diseases, and other such things. Every time, it hurt. However, one of the worst ones happened when I was 16 at the start of a long chain of horrible events that brought me lower and lower until I didn’t even care what happened to myself anymore. I was supposed to take care of them. They had survived a bout of cancer before and because I was already interested in medicine, I wanted to try and help them through round 2. So, I threw myself completely into it and looked after him all day, every day. There were some good days and some bad days. It looked like he might have a chance at getting better, but then during New Year’s Eve, he took a really bad turn and before I knew it, he was dead. I tried to talk to him to see if he would wake back up. I held his body. Nothing. Just that horrible ventilator pumping air in and out, even though he wasn’t alive anymore. The nursing staff present didn’t do CPR or use an AED. They just…stood there. My parents had to carefully pull me away because I refused to leave him. Despite that, I couldn’t cry. Days later, at the funeral, I still couldn’t cry. The intrusive thoughts started…along with the nightmares. Some part of me had begun to believe that somehow, I screwed up. Maybe, if I had somehow done something more, he’d still be here. Honestly, still, I don’t know. Was it somehow my fault? Then, a couple of weeks after the funeral, we got more news. My aunts had both burned to death in a house fire. My mother was devastated and developed a lifelong fear of fire. Later on in the year, we also lost our house, my friend got killed by a drunk driver, and life just kept on hitting and hitting and hitting…After pretending to be fine for months, I failed my precalculus final and that was what finally broke the dam. I had a huge mental breakdown in my senior year of high school and went into a depressive spiral…but I refused to act on it. Do you know why, despite everything, that I didn’t go far enough to harm anyone?

Broken Stephen: No…Why didn’t you?

Me: …I knew that if they were still there, they wouldn’t want me to. If the situation were reversed, they wouldn’t do it either. I certainly wouldn’t want them to. Out of respect for them, I didn’t. I wanted to…Gods, did I want to sometimes, but I held on and opted to devote my life to helping others, both because it would make them proud, but also because I know how badly it hurts…I never want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone. Even on my worst enemy.

Broken Stephen: *He’s tearing up.* Steward…I…I don’t know what to say…

Me: I suppose that what I’m saying is that letting your grief consume you to the point of hurting others only leads to more pain. In a way, I kinda channel my pain into my determination to protect and help people. That way, instead of it constantly gnawing away at me, I acknowledge it and decide to find a better outlet. It’s okay to grieve. Healthy, even. However, dwelling on it constantly and letting it drive you crazy isn’t. It sucks and it’s gonna suck. Over time, it’ll slowly get a little easier to handle. Though you’ll still have bad days every once and a while, especially if something pops up to remind you. That’s kinda why I hate New Year’s so much. Anyway, you’re allowed to feel sadness like any other person…Just please, out of respect for those you love, don’t use that pain to hurt others. I’m sure that the other me wouldn’t want that, nor would the others…I know I’m not her, but if we’re similar at all, I’d hope that you’d know that.

Broken Stephen: No, no you’re right…She wouldn’t. *He starts to cry into his hands.* I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…

*616-Stephen has a lump in his throat, but is doing his best to stay composed. He undoes the force field keeping Broken Stephen in, knowing that he’s no longer a threat. I sit quietly, letting Broken Stephen let his grief out. I’ve been trying to keep a straight face myself. Reliving these events was very painful, but I knew it had to be done.*

*After awhile, Broken Stephen begins to talk through his sobs.*

Broken Stephen: What can I do?...What can I do to make amends?...How can I stop this pain…?

Me: I don’t know exactly how many attempts you made beforehand, but if it were me, I guess I’d start with this…For every person that you hurt, help 2 more. That and, to be honest, one of the reasons the various versions of us loved you was for your compassion and devotion to your oath. The fact that you held such a respect for life and always tried to find another way for everything to turn out better. Please…We’d like to see another Stephen like that in the multiverse. Go back to your oath, to your duties. I know it’ll be difficult, but that would be one of the most noble things that you could do.

Broken Stephen: *He smiles.* I’d like that. I just…I’m just still afraid I may be rejected by my friends after all this time. I mean, what will they think of me knowing I just ran away?

Me: They’re your friends. If you explain yourself, apologize sincerely, and go back to helping and supporting them and others around you, then they’ll eventually forgive you. If not, then so be it. There are billions of people on the planet. Surely, you can forge some new friendships. Though frankly, I think that they’re good enough people that they’ll eventually forgive and accept you again. Just the act of showing up again is pretty brave in and of itself. That and backing up your words with actions will help a lot.

Broken Stephen: *He nods.* Okay…

Me (smiling slightly): On a really bad day, if our version of Stephen is okay with it, you can always come by and we can talk. There’s actually a pub that I used to hang around during the bad days. I could show you if you want. *I look at 616-Stephen. He nods.*

616-Stephen: I’m coming with you. *He’s not being defensive this time. More curious since I hadn’t discussed my past before.*

Broken Stephen: Okay. Sure.

Me: Let’s head up, then. You should probably apologize to Prettywitch and meet Trix. Tear’s still around too, but she’s busy with work and family things.

Broken Stephen: Oh…right. *Sigh.* Well, let’s get this over with.

*We head up. Wong is currently with Prettywitch in the courtyard.*

Me: Hey, you two. Erm…Prettywitch, someone has something to say to you. Don’t worry, he’s not out to hurt anyone. *I reassure her and look at Broken Stephen.*

Prettywitch: Okay. - *She sees it’s Broken Stephen and becomes nervous.* Oh, hello crazy-I mean, Stephen. You…wanna talk to me…?

Broken Stephen: Actually, I wanted to apologize to you for…earlier.

Prettywitch: Oh…Oh, right…

Broken Stephen: I don’t expect you to forgive me, right away. Hell, you might never forgive me. But I want you to know that I’m sorry. And that I’m going to…no, I will work to become better…

*Prettywitch is stunned.*

Prettywitch: Well, you’re right, I can’t forgive you right away. Hell, I’m nervous being around you, right now.

Broken Stephen: That’s fair.

Prettywitch: But I’m glad to hear that you want to get better. AND I believe you will; there’s just something in you that’s inherently good, Stephen, and that’s you always succeed, by becoming the best version of yourself.

Broken Stephen: *He smiles.* Thank you.

Wong (still guarded): So, what else are you planning to do while here? *He’s not being directly confrontational, but he IS ready to defend if necessary.*

Me (calmly): I was going to take everyone for drinks. Trix could use a study break. *I’m hoping to reassure Wong.*

Wong: Fine, but I’m coming too.

Me: Okay. Let’s go get Trix. *We head to the library.* Hey, Trix…You’ve been studying really hard and some stuff almost went down. It’s already sorted out, but you should meet someone. Also, we’re all heading out for drinks. I think you could really use a break, even if just for this evening.

Trix (out of sorts): Huh? *She looks up to Steward and glances behind her to see two Stephen’s* Oh, I must have been studying too long if I’m starting to see double. *She groans and rubs her eyes*

616-Stephen: No, he’s really here…

*I lightly elbow Broken Stephen to nudge him into introducing himself.*

Broken Stephen: Oh, uh… *Clears his throat.* Hello, Trix. I’m Doctor Stephen Strange but from a different universe. I was here for nefarious reasons, but I’m not now. So…nice to meet you…?

Trix: *She blinks at him for a moment before smiling* Hello! *She frowns for a moment, looking him up and down before closing her books. She gets up and walks over to him.* Normally I’d shake a person’s hand when greeting them but Stephen Strange’s tend to be a different case. Plus you look like you need one of these. *She gives him a large hug instead.*

Broken Strange: *He blushes. Then he slowly puts an arm around her.* Uh…thank you…

Prettywitch: *Chuckles.* I guess all Stephen’s have trouble being affectionate.

Trix (still hugging): Being an awkward dork is a multiversal constant. That’s why we’re here to help! *She finally releases him before turning to Steward.* Now are we going to the one with the good quesadillas or the other one? I’m purely invested for the food and the company.

Me (rubbing the back of my head): Actually…I haven’t taken you guys to this one. It used to be the place I went on bad days before I knew you well. My past is still kind of a sore spot, but I think you guys have more than enough right to at least see a bit of it. The food is great and so are the drinks. It’s a bit old-fashioned, but it has some comfy seating and people generally leave you alone. It’s not obnoxiously loud and shows classic films on the tv over the bar. Admittedly, the bartender kinda knows me…

Trix (gently): Lead the way! *She gestures to Steward*

*I open a portal and lead the group to the sidewalk in front of the pub. It’s a rather small, plain-looking building that blends in with everything else, but every time the door opens and shuts from customers, delicious smells waft our way and we can hear the sounds of idle chatter mingled with a movie playing. I let everyone in and the bartender greets me.*

Bartender: Welcome to The Slaughtered Lamb-*He recognizes me* Hey, Steward! It’s been a while! You holding up okay?

Me: Yeah. Thanks, Martin.

Martin: No prob. I see you brought friends. *He’s mildly surprised.* I’ll get you seated in a few minutes.

*After a few minutes, we’re seated. The lighting is rather dim, but overall, the atmosphere of the pub is warm and inviting with various historical photos of the town on the walls. There’s a very small open area with a piano in the corner and although the bar’s interior is clearly worn-down, it’s kept clean. Tables are spaced out enough that people mind their own business. We look through the menus. There’s a decent list of craft and imported beers, some wines, and some cocktails. Also, there’s a lot of comfort food.*

Me: So, what looks good, guys? I used to get the garlic cheese fries, a burger, and some beer.

Trix (smirking): A Shirley Temple and some snacks.

Prettywitch: I’ll take cheesecake if you have any. If not? Nachos and a nice cold Stella, please.

Wong: I’ll try one of their beers.

616-Stephen: I’ll have a negroni. It’s been a while since I’ve had one.

Broken Stephen: I’ll have whiskey and coke.

*After the waitress takes our orders, we wait. I absentmindedly glance at the tv to watch the show.*

Trix: Y’know, if you told me two years ago where I’d be, I absolutely wouldn’t have believed it.

Me: No kidding. I thought I was just gonna do my job, apply for a doctoral program, and quit my job to earn my Ph.D if I got in. Was all focused on work and school stuff. Didn’t think any of this would happen at all.

Prettywitch: I know, right!? It’s funny how life works, sometimes.

Wong: We were fairly blindsided as well. Now that it has happened, what are your thoughts on everything? *This is his subtle way of checking up on us.*

Trix: Honestly? *She pauses a moment in thought* I know a lot of horrible things have happened to us but it’s also been some of the greatest moments of my life. It gives me purpose and I’ve gotten to be around some of the greatest people because of it.

Me: Agreed. Never been so worried about everyone in my life, but frankly, seeing as everything has turned out okay so far, I think I’m doing alright. Experiencing and learning all of these new things gives me life and energy that I haven’t felt in a long time. I love my medical research, of course, but these studies are on a whole different level. Our little group from this universe has effectively become a team of pioneers. I always dreamed of exploring new territory, whether it was metaphorical or literal. So, yeah. Despite everything, I’d say I’m actually happy…whenever we’re not being actively threatened, of course.

Prettywitch: Same. Especially since I haven’t been having such a great year.

*I give Prettywitch a reassuring look.*

616-Stephen: Helping and training all of you is difficult work, but seeing you girls learn and mature so quickly is rewarding. I’m proud of you.

Trix (teasing): Are you saying we’re difficult? *She grins at him*

616-Stephen (curling his lip): You ladies are really something else, you know that? *He’s teasing back.*

Me (flatly, sarcastically): Har har har…*I’m teasing him as well.*

Prettywitch: Yeah, I’m sure you say that to all the pretty ladies, Stephen. *She gives him a wink to let him know she’s teasing.*

*616-Stephen rolls his eyes in mock dismay.*

Wong: I’m relieved to hear that you three are doing okay.

Broken Stephen: Yeah, me too actually. *He smiles sadly.*

*Our orders arrive. Everything looks good. So, we tuck into the food and drinks as we chat. 616-Stephen gives me a look when he notices my rather unhealthy choices.*

Me (noticing): Don’t you start. *I’m amused.*

616-Stephen: You’re gonna regret that later.

Me: Worth it for now. I haven’t had this stuff in years. Probably not since…Hmmm…Yeah, I stopped slipping off to be alone here after about a year of getting to know the group. It always took me a while to get used to people, but Trix, Tear, and Prettywitch made me feel so welcome that I eventually stopped getting the urge to leave. Usually, I feel like an outsider or downright invisible. So, it was nice that they took the time to actually hang out with me. I know I wasn’t exactly friendly at first, but I was nervous. At least I warmed up to you guys eventually. Heh…Remember the cake I made for us for the 1-year anniversary of the group?

Trix: It was delicious! You were super worried about the decorations on it as well until we inhaled that thing.

Prettywitch: *Laughs* Oh yeah!

616-Stephen: So, you were always that nitpicky about cake decorating, huh? *He smirks at me.*

Me: Shut it.

Trix: I have it on good authority, Stephen, that you are also incredibly nitpicky as well so beware of the glass house you find yourself in.

Prettywitch: Ooh! She’s got you there.

Broken Stephen: *He laughs a little; apparently, nitpicking is a universal trait for Stephen’s across the multiverse.*

*Wong is quietly amused by our banter.*

Broken Stephen: *He takes a sip of his drink.*

Me: So, Trix, what drew you to joining the group in the first place? I joined in partly because I loved the Marvel comics and partly because I was lonely. That and my parents were worried about my lack of social engagement.

Trix: The MCU in particular for me. I was fascinated by such an undertaking to weave so many stories together to create such a cohesive tapestry of a universe! *She grows more and more passionate as she speaks before she realizes she’s gotten a lot louder.* Oops… *She blushes.* But yeah, I have some good and great friends but I was still almost always alone. I always had to be the first one to reach out and when I finally stopped because I was tired of always being the first one, I found myself alone except for one or two people but they always were busy, understandably. At least, until I met you guys. I finally didn’t feel like I was a bother and was included without having to make the plans myself. *She can’t help but close in on herself a little bit more after finally admitting it*

*I gently pat Trix’s shoulder to comfort and reassure her.*

Me: Yeah, I get that. Though my main thing was that after so much loss, I kinda shut down and figured, “Why bother? It’s just gonna happen again and again and it’ll keep hurting.” However, as I got more isolated, I knew that I was only getting worse. That’s when I realized that people need people. Even if they don’t want to admit it. So, I’m glad that I caved into my parents’ worries and my own loneliness to reach out to you guys. Hell, some of the liveliest discussions I’ve had were when you and Prettywitch were involved. *I smile gently at Trix.*

*Trix blushes and feels somewhat embarrassed at how much that helps.*

Prettywitch: For me, it was love for the good doctor that brought me to this group.

*616-Stephen blushes slighty.*

Prettywitch: I do agree with Steward, though; people need people. I always used my interests to interact with people because it was the only way I could properly communicate with others, but it led me to being friends with some people who weren’t good to me. That’s why I’m glad for the trajectory my life has gone in; I never imagined I’d fall this hard into Marvel fandom, but it‘s special to me partly because it led me to meeting my friends back home as well as you guys.

Me (chuckling lightly): To think that a small group of comic book fans turned into this. *I smile gently at my friends.*

Wong: You three are good for each other. This is encouraging.

Trix: Well, there’s power in 3’s! *She smiles gently before turning to Wong.* Now, I wanna hear more Wong Thoughts. *She scoots her stool obnoxiously closer to him on purpose before grinning at him*

*Wong remains stoic, not about to give her the pleasure of having irked him.*

Wong: What would you like to know? Any specific questions?

Trix: Anything you’re willing to share! This is sharing and caring time but we will not press. *Her smile is more genuine than teasing now*

*He grunts.*

Wong: Well, when the four of you first arrived in Kamar-Taj, I had my doubts. Especially four young women from a universe that has never previously known magic. I did not expect you to learn so quickly. Admittedly, it was amusing seeing Strange’s shock when you four were able to start producing sparks before he could unblock his own energy when he was first starting out.

*616-Stephen gives Wong a look.*

Prettywitch: Eh, I have an overactive imagination, that’s all.

Trix: I, for one, am very happy we did not need a field trip to Everest unlike somebody…

*For now, I’m just listening and enjoying the company while sipping my pint of beer. I snort at the last part.*

Me: Gah…Trix, You’re gonna make me spew beer. *I’m amused.*

Trix (staring Steward in the eyes): Good.

Me: *Muttering, teasingly at her under my breath.* Butt-munch.

Trix: Love you too~

Broken Stephen: *He actually laughs in earnest at that. He doesn’t even try hiding it this time.*

*Wong shakes his head at Trix and me.*

Wong: Anything else?

Trix (thoughtful): So, assuming we pass our mastery tests, what happens then? Y’all have been secretive about parts of it. *She looks at 616-Stephen and Wong.*

616-Stephen: Assuming that you three pass smoothly, we’ll begin to assign you missions. Some of them will be team missions and others will be solo. We want to see how all of you handle different situations on your own and with different people.

Wong: Sorcerers need to be adaptive and think on their feet. Missions will help reinforce that.

616-Stephen: When we think that you’re ready to handle the responsibilities, we’ll start work on placement and construction of Sanctums and a main complex in your world.

PrettyWitch: *She gets starry eyed hearing that.* Really!? Oh, this is gonna be awesome! I’m gonna totally set up mine to look like my ideal castle, with a pool and ASMR room and everything!!!

Trix (a bit melancholy): Oh yeah…I almost forgot we’re going home by the end of this. I’m just so used to being at Kamar-Taj and with you guys…

*I’m just quietly thinking about all of this for now. I have that distant stare into space that I usually do when in deep thought. To be honest, I have mixed feelings. I’m secretly fangirling over being able to have and run our own Sanctums, but also worried about all of the responsibilities this situation entails, and I’m a bit sad about not being able to hang around with Stephen and the group like we used to. It’s bittersweet. So, I continue to silently mull this over.*

616-Stephen (gentle): Look, we’ll still be around for a while and you can always call us if you need us.

Wong (gruffly teasing): …That and you have Sling Rings. I doubt that you will neglect to visit.

Trix: I swear on the Watcher that you will never be rid of me. *Pointing teasingly*

*Wong allows himself to look mildly amused at this.*

Me: So, what’s with the specialized exams?

616-Stephen: I would’ve thought that would be obvious-

Me: Really? We’re doing this? *I’m catching his snark before it starts, arching an eyebrow dangerously while looking him directly in the eyes.*

616-Stephen (quickly backpedaling): Erm-I mean-The exams are tailored to the sorcerer-in-training by their Master. There will be general material, but seeing as every student has a particular talent, we attempt to help them refine it so they can play to their strengths. These exams are structured to test you to your limits in every way possible and if you show a particular set of skills, then that gets even more emphasis so we can see exactly how much you know.

Wong (amused by the effectiveness of my death glare earlier): Including that?

616-Stephen (glowering at Wong): No…*under his breath* …Though it should be.

Broken Stephen: *He chuckles.* Oh dear…

Trix (realizing something): Oh. Oh. *She points at Wong and grins* I knew you liked me. I get to be the Wong of our group! That’s why I’m being focused on the book stuff!

Wong (attempting to remain stoic): I cannot show favoritism, but you do show considerable proclivity towards my own field.

*Trix just grins wider and scoots closer to Wong and wraps an arm around him.*

Trix: Book buddies have to stick together, I understand. *She attempts to look as serious as Wong does on a normal day as she gives a solemn nod.*

*I put my drink down because now I can’t help myself. So, I end up snickering into the collar of my jacket.*

PrettyWitch: *She grins ear to ear.* Why if I didn’t know better, Wong, I’d say you’re acting a bit like a tsundere, right now.

Wong (trying to ignore the comments): …Do they have tea here?

Me (curious, but answering): They do.

*He gets our waitress’ attention and orders a hot black tea.*

Broken Stephen: I’ll take some tea, too. It’s been awhile since I’ve had any.

*The tea arrives and Wong holds it close to himself.*

*Trix watches, amused, but still rather close as she hasn’t felt the need to move yet.*

*616-Stephen watches and notices something odd.*

616-Stephen: Wait…The steam isn’t just coming from the cup…*He looks at Wong and then the cup. Suddenly, something in his brain seems to click and he gets a wide grin. * So, THAT’s what your tic is.

*Trix, listening to Stephen, takes a closer look at Wong before she starts to grin as well.*

Trix: That’s honestly super subtle and absolutely suits you.

Prettywitch: Oh my God! *She starts cackling.*

*I watch everything unfold with a smirk.*

*The steam intensifies slightly before Wong takes a slow, deep breath to calm himself, dispersing the involuntary cast.*

Wong (attempting to be stoic, but sounding slightly annoyed): Well, now you know.

Trix: Honestly it makes me wonder what mine could have been if not for Agatha. I mean, I don’t think I ended up…as normal as a sorcerer could possibly be.

Broken Stephen: It’s hard to say, magic tics can manifest in all sorts of ways, especially when your innate magic abilities aren’t as grandiose.

Trix: Ever since I escaped the crystal prison, my magic is somewhat crystalline. It’s my passive magic, when I cast shields it tends to be made of crystal instead of a regular mandala. Loki also still has some of the effects as well but not nearly as much as me considering he’s a god and I’m just me.

Broken Stephen: *His eyes widen when Trix mentions escaping Agatha unscathed.* Oh…right… *He swifts his gaze away and takes another sip of whisky.* How did you escape, anyway?

Me (calmly): The whole situation and rescue were…complicated to say the least. *I watch Broken Stephen to make sure that he’s okay.*

Prettywitch: Yeah. We ended up going through these labyrinths designed to trap us.

Broken Stephen: Oh. *He nods and smiles sadly.* That’s good to hear.

*I look at him with a reassuring expression to calm him back down.*

Broken Stephen: *He looks at Steward and mouths “Thank you” to her.*

Me: *I subtly nod at him to indicate a silent “you’re welcome” and give a slight smile to comfort him. Then, I change the subject to steer away from this topic.* So, do we wanna ask for the check, then?

Trix: Yeah, let’s head out.

*The group finishes up and we pay the bill before leaving. We get to an empty alley outside and portal back to Kamar-Taj.*

Me (to Broken Stephen): I hope this helped at least a little bit…*I think to myself for a second before shrugging and hugging the man to comfort him. I hold him for a little while so he can feel safe before letting him go.*

Broken Stephen: Yes, it did. Thanks, again for this, Steward.

Me: No problem at all. *I’m privately relieved that we’ve managed to come to a peaceful resolution this time.*

Prettywitch: Alright, let’s go home. I’m starting to get tired.

Broken Stephen: *He smirks.* That’s because you chugged your beer like it was going out of style.

Prettywitch: Hey! It’s not my fault I’m a lightweight.

616-Stephen: Actually it would be, in this case.

Prettywitch: Hey! Don’t give him any ammo!

Broken Stephen: *Laughs.*

616-Stephen: So, what are your plans now, then? *He still feels a bit weird with a variant of himself hanging around, but he doesn’t exactly want to start anything up again by being abrupt.*

Broken Stephen: *He shrugs.* Well, I figured I’d try going home and owning up to my mistakes. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough magic to send myself back. That’s kinda how I ended up here, actually.

Me: We can help with that. We’re strong enough now that it won’t take such a heavy toll on us. *I’m calm and thinking logically.*

Trix: That’s true. *She’s a bit more subdued, almost lost in thought.*

Prettywitch: How did you get here, anyway?

Broken Stephen: Well, after I decided to leave I found a spell that would allow me to travel the multiverse by infusing crystals into my Sling Ring. The only catch was that it only had a limited number of times I could use it before the crystals ran out.

Prettywitch: And let me guess; you forgot you needed to replace said crystals, didn’t you…?

Broken Stephen: Well…Yeah. *He gives an awkward, embarrassed smile, like he got caught stealing books from the library in Kamar-Taj.*

Me: What was the source of these crystals? Maybe the other universe has some spares.

Broken Stephen: I think it was Hematite…? The spell required fusing the Ring with a gem that would protect you while traveling,so long as it’s “blessed” first.

Prettywitch: That should work. Let’s go find a gemstone store and see if they have any Hematite. If not? Well, that’s what Amazon is for.

Me: I actually have some in my rock collection back home. Things can be replaced. So, it’s fine.

Prettywitch: Oh, that’s great!

*We portal to my house and I quickly grab the hematite from my rock collection, handing it over.*

Me: Though blessing it…Hmm…Would you use the Vishanti or some other deity?

Broken Stephen: I’m pretty sure I used the Vishanti when I blessed the stone.

*Trix is in the background, scribbling into a journal and watching this go on.*

*I think for a moment to remember the correct incantation and then bless the hematite.*

Broken Stephen: *He removes his Sling Ring from his pocket and takes the Hematite from Steward.* Thank you. *He levitates the stone and ring and fuses them together before they become a bright, silver Sling Ring with a reflective surface. Then he places the ring on his hand.*

*I watch curiously and glance at Trix, thankful that she’s keeping a log of this new information.*

Broken Stephen: *He opens the portal, but before he steps through, he turns to us, nervously.* Uh…I know this is awkward, but…um…Could I…ask for a hug from you guys?

*I nod silently and open my arms so he can walk over to us.*

*Trix tucks her journal away before doing the same, ready for the group hug.*

*Prettywitch hesitates for a moment before caving in and hugging him tightly.*

*Broken Stephen hugs them and cries happily.*

Trix (still hugging): Is there anything else we can do? This entire thing has been difficult for you.

Broken Stephen: No. No, I’m good, for now. *He lets go of us.* Just let me know when you’ve returned home. I’d love to come and visit when I can.

Me: We will…Though it may be a while due to our studies. In the meantime, perhaps we could give you something to remember us by?

Broken Stephen: Yeah…I’d like that.

*Trix friend for a moment before her face lights up.*

Trix: I think I have an idea. *She creates three small crystals in the palm of her hand, each is clear. After a moment, one begins to turn orange and violet. She turns to Steward and PrettyWitch.*

Trix: I think this might help in remembering us, and our counterparts. If the both of you pour a little bit of energy in these *She holds one out to each of the others* they’ll eventually become something…greater over time if you *She turns back to Broken Stephen* treat them like seeds. *She then hands Broken Stephen her crystal seed.*

*I nod quietly and accept one of the clear crystals, holding it for a moment to infuse it with the energy of my aura. It turns into the indigo, tan, and magenta of my soul’s signature, shimmering in the light. I hand it respectfully to Broken Stephen when I’m done. When Prettywitch infuses her crystal seed with her energy, I pass it to him as well.*

*Prettywitch forms a rose quartz keychain and gives it to Broken Stephen.*

Prettywitch: There you go; it’s not much, but it’s a reminder of your love for us, and the capacity you have to love and be loved.

Broken Stephen: *He smiles.* Thank you… *He lets the Cloak wipe the tears from his eyes.* Well, I should probably get going. Goodbye for now.

Prettywitch: Good luck!

Me: See you later. *I wave.*

*I turn to check on Prettywitch once I know that Broken Stephen is gone.*

Me: You okay? I know it was rough. So, I didn’t wanna pressure you. You can always psychically let us know if you’re uncomfortable. In this case, we were just de-escalating the situation. Though at least this variant was more of a lost soul needing help rather than a straight-up sociopath. *I look her over carefully and respectfully.*

Prettywitch: Yeah, I’m okay. I just hope he gets better, that’s all.

Trix: I think we really helped him. Even if it was a talk and a meal, those can be the best remedies.

Me: So, last check-up…You’re sure that you’re good? *I want to be absolutely sure since I know what happened to Prettywitch and want to let her know that her voice will be heard if she needs anything.*

Prettywitch: Yes, love. I’m fine. Honest.

Me (relaxing a bit, knowing that she’s okay): Okay. On that note, we should head back to Kamar-Taj and study.

***To be continued***

#doctor strange fanfiction #doctor strange #doctor strange meta fic #doctor stephen strange #multi author #dr stephen strange #stephen strange #marvel #wong

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brothalynchhung · 9 months

Text

2023 overview

im such a loyal person man LMAOOO i still specfically come back here to do this lool anyways this year was fucking insane like FUCKING insane and long as hell... grniguehrsi

i think i started the year a lil depressed cuz i was working that fuckass job

lets seee

i think jan 2023 was nothing but me suffering through that fuck ass job, gyming, etc.,

that old apt ahahah i mean tbh it was nice but too big and TOO SECLUDED omg

actually the way i spent a whole year so isolated from society was crazy what the fawk

i dont even think i got much out of it like self improvement wise

maybe japanese? guitar? but that came only at the end

i guess playing ps5... lol -_-

i gained so much weight cuz of depression and that stressful ass job

the way i think majority of that weight was just the AMOUNT OF CORTISOL BUILD UP I HAD

anyways jan was whatever

then i went to umrah in feb which was stressful cuz the amount of ppl and the BUGS man god

this whole time i thought my prayers werent answers but they were tbh i had a good year even if there was struggles

i didnt get gl yet but APPARENTLY thats too much to ask for

whatever

then barcelona lMAOOO which was okay!! i think i would have obv enjoyed it more if i wasnt there for work but i mean still it was just another european city

my spanish was ass

i was too paranoid about someone jacking my phone lol

survived tho

ate some GOOD ASS FOOD. omg best food ever

and the sangriaasss omg

it was worth it being the canon event of me getting fired LMAO

hoenstly was a lil ugly ass bitch that co founder was fuck him fr

loser highkey

anywho

so spain barcelona and saudi 2 countries down within the first 3months of the year

tbh basically up until june majority of my year was this stupid ass job travelling here and there complaining about that ugly ass bitch

omg what a shaytan that man was holyshit and not like a powerful shaytan more like a whiny weak insecure life sucking pitiful pathetic piece of shit shaytan the one that lowers the energies of everything around it

pitiful ass human fr im so happy that shit got out of my life

that was the best thing to happen to me this year like not exclusively him but the whole job too LOL

like thanks for the pay and travel finessed the fuck out all tbh BYE

chaper closed thank god

and whats crazy is that the SECOND after that meeting i forgot about it all lMFAOOOO LIKE I WAS READYY

march was cool i finally got to go back to america

actually march lowkey changed my life

texas was so much fun omg i miss america man americans are nice just h8 their govt

sxsw!!! DUDE ive always wanted to go and GOT TO ALL under someone elses coin LMFAOOOOOO

met cool ppl ig, saw cool things, film and tv industry - coool cool cool

and i didnt rlly have to do shit there LMAO

anyways then went to houston where nadas friend HELD IT DOWNNNNN

like finally omg i got to get hiiii FINALLY

RODEO HIGH VEGAN SOUL FOOD HIGH

THE FOOD WAS SO GOOD THE RECORD SHOPPING WAS SEXY

so good

then i came back and i was mad depressed cuz i should be out there working and learning from ppl who like the shit as me not stuck out the middle of FUCK ASS NOWHERE DOING NOTHING

which yeah i think that like lit the fire out of my ass about how much i hated the job and place and cuz ad was like quarantine istg

thennn hmm april..OH YEAH JAPAN

BASICALLY ONCE I GOT BACK IT WAS HELL DEALING WITH THAT FUCK ASS JOB CUZ OF THE STUPID ASS.

i dont even remember waht the bullshit ass term is

uhhh i forget lMAOOO that stupid bullshit where i was PERFORMANCE PLANNN

stupid as fuck what kind of corporate fake working society term is that omfg

AND FOR NOTHING BUT THAT THING IN BARCELONA WHERE I DIDNT GO TO SOME BULLSHIT

i dont care was worth it like fuck yeah bitch!! i really am using yall to fuck around and travel cuz THIS STUPID ASS JOB IS NOT MY FUTURE

and it isint omg its like it never exsited LMFAO

anyways that stressed me out but thank god i had edibles lmao

DUHA HELD IT DOWNN

mmm then i survived to japan

I WENT TO JAPAN THIS YEAR OMFG AFTER YEARS!!! YEARSSSS!!! OF DREAMING ABOUT JAPAN!!! I GOT TO GO

honestly me going to japan was what made this year like this def had to be one of the best years of my life just for that on its own

actually like yeah this def was oddly enough one of the best years of my life?

emotionally hell yes but everything else was good

jsut stupid self-inflicted stress (minus that fuck ass job)

anyways japan was amazing left it wanting to learn the language and AM

i cant wait to go back

and the fact i hit tokyo kyoto and osaka all at once omg amazing

nintendo world 😭 shibuya 😭 just kyoto in general 😭

i bought so much omg

THE FOOD OMG THEIUEHGSEIUH

i had so much good food this year lmao barcelona, japan, texas 🤪

anywhoo after that i basically dont remember much of may like it was just tryna get through the shit and deal with that stupid ass plan and talking to that dumb bitch

which i punked off and he didnt like like fuck u u ugly untalented waste of life ? im not talking nice to u or respecting your bitch ass

and he think getting rid of me was a slap in the face as if that wasnt exactly what i wanted LMFAOOO

3 months leave with pay ??? and i scammed yall w the ticket price?? LOOOOOL oKAYYY THANKS!!!

CHAPTER CLOSED

so basically june they let me gooo true freedom then had the best month of my life in thailand which was FUCKKINGGG MAAZINGGG

omg thailand was so much fun i felt so free

the most free and most happy i ever felt in my life

krabi .. rayleh beach omg the weed and shrooms on the beach 😭

seriously i had no one in my face, no bitches, no work, money, freedom, time, no problems NOTHING

i seriously think those few days in krabi were the happiest moments of my life ever

like pure freedom and security and happiness in ever sense of each word

soooo grateful

and i deserved it after all the stupid ass stress that stupid ass job put me through

and the whole time i was there i was just so grateful i never felt that much gratitude in my life ever

thailand in general was fun omg i bought so much stuff i loved bangkok

i just love travelling man seriously im just built to travel around discover and learn about the world i love connected with the world and exploring and adventuring i hate being stuck in a place

all i ever want to do is travel and live like really LIVE

hate work

anywho right after i came back to my freedom then basically just chilled until i had to go to canada

which was 🙄

listen - ottawa was surprisingly okay actually i enjoyed it, i smoked, i walked around listening to y2k music, stayed at home all cozy, appreciated the nature and the nostalgia lmaoo even chilling w lina and her cousins was fun

but toronto -_- listen im never going to forgive that bitch for throwing me out and those other hoes for not being there for me

shout out to p tho lol

all i wanted to do was leave istg

toronto was a lil boring but i was also just mad cuz all my friends were all

CUT OFFFFF ill never see yall again except maybe nadine and p

for once ottawa was better than toronto

anyways i think im 1000% done w toronto

CHAPTER CLOSED

thank god finally

oh yeah i started a youtube account that im trying to take seriously i guess LOL

i still need to keep going and working on it but its fun

OH YEAH CHICAGOO

LOLLAAPALOOZAAA

yeah thank god that crazy bitch didnt come but omg what a waste of a ticket but anyways her L not mine

just thankful that i had the money for all of this -_- shout out that fuck ass job i guess lmao

part 2... ?

0 notes

dreamwritesimagines · 3 years

Text

Burn The Witch 23 - Haunted Heart [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Coming home can cause issues.

Series Masterlist

SIX MONTHS LATER

You flipped the knife in your hand as the guy tied to the chair glared at you.

“You know,” you trailed off, “I’ve had a really shitty couple of months, Johnny- can I call you Johnny?”

“No.”

“Rude,” you commented, “Fine. John. I’ve had a really shitty couple of months so you really don’t want to try me right now. Just tell me where I can find your boss.”

“You’ll never find him you stupid bitch.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Since I’m going to kill you in a couple of minutes I feel like I can share some things with you,” you said, “My best friend says I keep everything bottled and I should talk about my feelings.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“See, that’s exactly how I feel!” you pointed at him, “Thank you. I mean, I feel angry at myself. I kind of fucked up with the man I love.”

“Jesus Christ, just kill me already.”

“I’m waiting for a text to do that Johnny,” you pointed out, waving your phone at him. “So, I tricked him and used him and threw him to wolves. And then Accords 2.0 didn’t pass and he has been pardoned once again, and he’s a free man now. I have a strong feeling that he’s not the ‘forgive and forget’ type of guy. You know, assassin to assassin.”

“You’re the chattiest assassin I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you, I’m trying to improve myself,” you said, “I mean what exactly should I do? I don’t even trust my agency at this point, my handler lied to me and I have been at this fucking place for six months now, hunting you down. Well, your boss but…”

“You’ll never find him.”

“We’ll see about that my friend,” you said, “So anyway, like what am I supposed to do? I lost the one guy I actually loved. How do you cope with that? Because drinking doesn’t work, sleeping with others doesn’t work…. Nothing seems to—“ you were cut off when your phone vibrated and you touched the screen to open the text message.

From: Julian

Go for it.

“Wait, no no no, I’ll talk—“

“Kind of too late,” you pointed the gun at him, “Nice to meet you Johnny.”

With that you pulled the trigger, silencer doing its job as there was no loud bang or anything. His body fell back with the impact, and you heaved a sigh.

“Maybe I need a therapist I can’t kill,” you mumbled and walked out of the warehouse to approach the car before opening the door to the passenger seat to get in.

“Is it done?” Julian asked and you nodded, rubbing at your eyes.

“Yep.”

“Are you hungry?”

You made a face, “Just because the General sent you here does not mean we’re going to become buddies.”

“I’m not trying to become buddies with you,” Julian stated, “I just want to eat fries and there’s a two for one deal.”

You eyed him up and down.

“Fine, I could eat fries.” You leaned back in the seat as he started driving, keeping your eyes on the road. Soon enough, you reached the city center and Julian got fries from a food truck, then sat across from you.

“So,” he said, “You do realize this whole thing would’ve been over by now if we actually worked together?”

“I’m not going on the field with you.”

“The General sent me here to help you.”

You dipped the fry into sauce, then popped it into your mouth, “You can help me by pretending you’re not here.”

“Y/N.”

“You know what they say Julian. Fool me once…”

“Don’t tell me you’re still holding that grudge.”

“You mean when you left me behind to die on the last mission we were together?” you asked back, “That grudge?”

“I told you—“

“I’m not going to talk about that with you,” you cut him off, “And I work better alone. Who told you we could waste the guy by the way?”

“The General.”

You grabbed the salt shaker to pour some salt on the fries, causing Julian to make a face.

“Are you kidding me? That was salty enough-“

“Why did he not text me?”

“No idea. Maybe he’s avoiding you because he promised you handler and here you are. Field spy.”

Your jaw clenched.

Or maybe he’s avoiding me because he fucking lied to me.

You had to give it to him, it was the perfect plan. The moment he had suspected you were getting too close to Bucky, he had come up with the one thing he knew that would make you switch sides.

And that-

That was below the belt yes, but that was also masterly.

But at the end of the day, you barely had two people to trust in the entire world, and you seriously doubted you could ever forgive the General for what he had done. You knew he held duty above all, above family and surely above you, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

You shook your head at yourself and grabbed another piece of fry.

“So um…” Julian shifted his weight, “Are you okay?”

You shot him a glare, arching a brow, “Peachy.”

“No I mean… About Barnes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This whole Accords 2.0 failure, there’s no way we could go after him again.”

“I don’t want to go after him again.”

“You don’t want revenge?”

That made you straighten up your back and you put the fry down, “And why exactly would I want revenge?”

That made Julian fall silent and you nibbled on your lip.

“What exactly did the General tell you before you came here?”

“That there was a job here.”

“Bullshit,” you replied way too quickly, “Did he send you here to be my babysitter? He thinks I’ll go after Barnes myself is that it? That’s why they sent you here months after I left the country but right after Accords 2.0 didn’t pass.”

Julian licked his lips.

“Listen, the agency wants to keep you safe—“ he started but then his phone beeped. He grabbed it to take aa look at the screen, then cussed under his breath.

“What?”

“Check your texts.”

You touched the screen and frowned as your eyes skimmed the text.

From: General

Time to come home.

“Well,” you muttered, your heart dropping to your stomach, “Shit.”

***

Coming back home was harder than ever now. After catching up with Keith and Chloe, you were taken to your new apartment that was given to you by the agency as usual, and for the whole night you couldn’t sleep.

Even if there was no trace of Bucky in your new apartment –in your new life, you still couldn’t shake off this feeling. It was as if the moment you had entered the country, Bucky had entered your life in an instant.

Odds were, you wouldn’t really see him again. After all it was a big city, and Bucky wasn’t exactly the social type.

So your first week back in New York wasn’t exactly terrible. You were still waiting for your orders while getting to know to the city slowly, because after long missions it always took time for you to remember you had a real life there, real memories—

Well, as real as it could be, for a spy.

“Just see it as a vacation,” Chloe had said, “They threw you into another mission as soon as you got out of the country, it’s just a delayed vacation.”

As far as vacations went though, this one just sucked.

Maybe it was because you couldn’t keep away from places you and Bucky had been too, like this coffee place where you had first officially met.

You sipped your coffee, scrolling down on the news website as your eyes skimmed yet another article about Accords and whether you could trust superheroes or not, but you were soon distracted when someone pulled the seat across from you, making you look up from your phone.

And as soon as you did, your heart dropped.

You had to give it to the General, he was manipulative, he was a liar and he had betrayed your trust terribly but the one thing he had done right was training you well. Aside from that one second, you managed to adapt a look of nonchalance on your face, slowly putting your phone down.

“Hello Cap.”

Sam raised his brows and eyed you up and down.

“You’re back?”

You could swear he could hear your heartbeat and you shrugged your shoulders, looking around.

“Yeah,” you said, “Big apple and everything.”

“So much for the small town girl.”

“I have never been a small town girl,” you drawled, “Never been to Oregon either.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

You turned your coffee cup on the table just so you could do something with your hands.

“Why?” he asked after a beat and you shifted your weight despite your whole training of feeling calm and collected, nervousness hitting you out of nowhere.

“You’re a veteran, Wilson,” you managed to say, “You don’t need me to tell you how the chain of command works. Army doesn’t care how we feel about orders.”

“I’m very familiar with how chain of command works,” he pointed out, “But you’re not a soldier, Y/N. You’re a spy.”

“That makes it even worse,” you stated, “I know it sounds like an excuse, but… you don’t know how my agency works. I don’t get to say no to orders, and I sure as hell don’t get to blow my own cover.”

“But you wanted to, didn’t you?”

Jesus Christ, Wilson was really good at this observation thing.

“Doesn’t matter what I want,” you said, “I’m no use to anyone if I develop a conscience.”

“But you did,” he insisted, “Why else would you come to help us? Why else would you warn him beforehand?”

“He told you about that?”

He shot you a look, “What do you think, Y/N?”

You scoffed a laughter. “I was feeling generous,” you said, “No other reason.”

He kept his gaze on you for a couple of seconds, as if trying to see whether you would cave before he took a deep breath.

“You know he was going to propose, right?”

That-

That was just too much. You could feel your jaw hanging as you stared at him in complete silence, his words echoing in your ears.

“No,” you said after a moment, then shook your head fervently, your nose in the air, “No you’re wrong.”

“I’m not,” Sam said, “Apparently he was looking for this… house painted in white with—a red door or something.”

Don’t cry.

Do not fucking cry.

Spies don’t cry over heartbreak.

You clenched your jaw and blinked back the tears, straightening your back.

“It’s a good thing he didn’t get to, then.”

“Y/N, he loved you.”

“No Sam, he loved someone who doesn’t exist,” you replied, “Sweet small town girl with sundresses and smiles and some house in the suburbs with kids and all that shit. Girls like me don’t get that ending, I have way too much blood on my hands.”

He pressed his lips together and you cleared your throat.

“How much does he hate me?”

“Why do you think he hates you?”

“Assassins aren’t good at forgiving,” you said, “I would know, we don’t have that talent.”

“That’s not a talent, that’s a choice.”

“It really isn’t,” you muttered, “So?”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

You let out a bitter laugh, “Yeah no. Actions have consequences and I’d rather not cross paths with the deadliest assassin in the world after double crossing him.”

“But you want him to forgive you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Intuition,” he said and pushed his chair back to stand up.

“He didn’t kill your father, Y/N.”

You heaved a sigh.

“I know,” you said, “Trust me, I would’ve walked away so much easier if he had.”

“Enjoy your coffee,” he said and walked out of the coffee house. You threw your head back, closing your eyes.

“Yep. I shouldn’t have come back.”

***

“I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of hate that we’re not living so close anymore,” you pressed the phone between your shoulder and your ear and opened the door to your apartment as Keith chuckled.

“I knew you’d miss me.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re a softie deep inside. Very very deep inside.”

“If you repeat that in front of anyone I swear to God…” you muttered and he groaned.

“Have I told you they’re putting me in the same team as Julian?”

“You guys have a new mission?”

“Not a long one probably.”

“Why the fuck am I—“

“Because you’re on a vacation,” he cut you off, “And also they’re probably going to make you a handler, that’s worth waiting for.”

“That or….”

“We’re not talking about that on the phone,” Keith said quickly, “Amateur.”

“Careful there, I’ll outrank you soon enough,” you said, walking to the bathroom to wash your hands. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright, see you later!” he said and hung up. You put your phone into your pocket, then washed your hands and made your way to the kitchen.

It was only when you put the wine bottle back into the fridge that you noticed something was off. Your body moved on its own accord, before you knew it you had already grabbed the knife in your boots and threw it to the figure in the dark corner of the room but he easily caught it, metal hitting what sounded like another kind of metal before he stepped out of the corner. Your breath caught in your throat, and for the first time in your life you froze, all the training leaving your mind.

You were supposed to be looking for a weapon, any kind of weapon but somehow, your body refused to move.

Bucky turned your knife in his hands, his gaze pinning you to your spot before he tilted his head.

“Hi honey,” he said, his voice way too cold. “I’m home.”

Chapter 24

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagines

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heejojo · 3 years

Text

Love Isn't Beautiful But With You It Was

✰ summary: y/n and niki's journey from being enemies to friends to much more than that.

✰ pairing: Niki x fem!reader (and a Jay apperance)

✰ genre: fluff, angst, enemies to childhood friends to lovers

✰ warning: a few sad scenes but I'm not sure they'll be too bad! death

✰ word count: 1.8k (the most so far tbh)

a/n: this is my first fanfic so please leave comments about what should be improved. if you have any requests feel free to leave them! it's past 12am now and I need to sleep but I hope you have a nice day!

prompt gotten from @moonlight-chi77 thank you!

“Love isn’t beautiful but with you it was”

Life disappears in the blink of an eye, but the memories created and the human connection formed does not. The memories created are embedded in our hearts and follow us through different paths of life. Whether those memories are good or bad, they become something we reflect on in later moments.

Nishimura Riki couldn’t exactly remember the first time he met you but all he knew was that he had never hit off with someone the way he did with you.

September 2012

Although Niki couldn't pinpoint the exact date you guys started talking, he knew it was in September of 2012. He knew at first he disliked you and wanted nothing to do with you because you had stolen his spot on the swings.

“That's my spot, I told Jay I was going to stay here forever,” he said while his friend who was behind him nodded enthusiastically, backing him up.

“Your name is not on it and you didn’t buy it so why should I leave?” you asked him without coming down because you got there fair and square.

“I called dibs on it,” he said while puffing out his chest.

“Dibs are for babies,” you say while continuing to swing. “I’m not a baby,” he retorts.

“If you say so, then why are you wearing a Talking Tom T-Shirt?” you ask and his face begins to turn red. “It's cool, isn't it Jay?” he nudges his friend asking him for support. “Cool man, girls just suck” Jay responds and they both leave. “At least I dress myself!” you yell at their retreating figures

After that day, Niki made it his mission to disturb you every day and never wore his Talking Tom shirt again after that day.

August 2016

“Niki!!” you screamed as you felt another water balloon hit your leg. At this point, your entire body was soaked. The young boy continued to laugh and run as you chased him. You were beginning to regret spending your summer break with him when you could be watching TV instead. Eventually, you give up chasing the blond-haired boy and go into the house to dry off. Thirty minutes later, Niki comes in with a bottle of orange juice as a form of apology. You snatch it without further thought and drink it. Looking up at him after you finish drinking it, you both burst into a fit of laughter. “You’re lucky I love food,” you say. Maybe spending the summer with him wouldn't be so bad.

December 2018

Your crush on Niki was painfully obvious to everyone but him. Your friends teased you, his friends teased you yet when you were together you denied it with so much vigour. Niki had liked you for a few months now. Everyone was enjoying the slow burn that was going on between the two of you; the soft glances across the room, the way you always looked for each other among crowds, the way he knew where your secret birthmark was even though your close friends didn’t.

It was the way you complimented each other that made everyone cringe and aw at the same time. The jacket you got him for his birthday was his most prized piece of clothing and the only person he let touch it was his mum. This year though, you gathered enough courage and told him how he meant to you and how you were content with being just friends even if it hurt a little. But you weren’t expecting Niki to say he felt the same way, even more so. Your friends heaved a sigh of relief and choruses of ‘Finally’ were echoed.

It felt good being with someone.

January 2019

Everyone argued with people they loved right? Your parents did, the old lady that sells fruit and her boyfriend did so you and Niki weren’t an exception. After being childhood friends for so long you’d think you could trust each other enough to talk about the things that bothered you but he refused to, claiming that he didn’t want you to see him in a different light and how it would hurt his pride. You would tell him that no one knew him more and cared about him the way you did. At times, you’d let it go not wanting to push him but that day you couldn’t take it.

“We need to talk. Why have you been avoiding me these past few days?” you asked him.

“I’ve just been busy” he replied.

“No, you’ve been avoiding me. I know you well enough to know when you're hiding something” you said.

He wouldn't budge, he never did especially when you cornered him like this. He started to get irritated and said, “I said I’ve been busy so forgive me if I can’t give you attention all the time. Not all of us are as clingy as you” You winced; it was your fault for pushing him to the edge like that. Nevertheless, you wouldn't give up. “ I just want you to say how you feel and what bothers you. I’d never look at you in a different light and you know that. You might want to be strong but it’s okay to show some sort of emotion, it doesn’t make you weak rather it makes you look like someone that acknowledges what is wrong and doesn’t try to ignore the problem or solve it on their own” you comforted him. As the words entered his ears, you could see the walls surrounding his heart crumbling. “It’s okay to ask for help or just to rant to someone. Even if we won’t be able to provide an immediate solution, it should help” you added taking a few steps forward and grabbing a hold of his hands. You squeezed them tightly.

“I...I’m just scared you’ll leave once you see the not so perfect side of me” he managed to say. “I will stay with you, why don’t we make the best of everything without worrying about the future?” you asked while smiling. He returned it and pulled you in for a hug. “Thank you, truly,” he said and you smiled under his embrace.

After a few minutes you spoke up, “Oh yeah, Niki?” you called his attention and he hummed in response. “Don’t ever shout at me like that again, I can deck you and you know it” you said.

“Got it, boss. Sorry for being a jerk”

June 2020

You usually went on diets and exercised a lot but you were losing weight at an extreme rate and you weren’t even on a diet. Niki was worried but you brushed it off telling him it was stress from school but it got worse. You found it difficult for you to balance yourself, you felt nauseated, getting even more frequent headaches and being tired all the time so Niki decided that enough was enough and took you to the hospital. Neither of you had expected the result of the scans that were run.

“I’m sorry but there is a tumour in your brain,” the doctor said. The air left your lungs. “You can choose to get the surgery and live in the hospital for 8 months or live with the tumour for 3 months” he continued. You thanked him and left the hospital. The elephant in the room was very much alive and neither one of you wanted to address it. Did you want to stay in the hospital for the rest of your life or did you want to say with your loved ones? You thought that they would go through and that won’t be worth it.

“Niki” you called out.

He looked at you with a sad smile and just pulled you in for a hug, careful not to hurt you. “Do you want to tell your parents?” You nodded. You couldn’t just leave without saying anything. Picking your jacket, Niki drove you to your parents house.

“I just wanted you guys to know, I couldn’t just leave without saying anything,” you said with your eyes cast downwards. You couldn’t bear to look at your mom who was already crying or your dad who was blaming himself even when it wasn’t his fault or your sister who was basically your best friend. Niki had given you guys privacy but you knew it was just an excuse for him to be with his own feelings.

“I’m going to stay close to home in the meantime so I can be closer to you guys,” you said. Your eyes were already becoming glossy with tears. You inched towards your mom, taking her hand in yours and said, “You did an amazing job of being my mom and I love you so much”. Moving to your dad, you said “You did a good job of protecting me so don’t think otherwise. Let’s make all the memories we want to now without any regrets”. At that, your sister burst into tears “I… I can’t bear to lose you” Your heart clenched. “I can’t bear to lose you too” She continued crying. Your mom wiped her eyes and said, “From today, live the way you want to. Eat what you want and do what you want.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Niki staring watching the whole scene. After an hour, I stood up and went home with Niki. The car ride was a long and awkward one. When we got home, we just slept hugging each other.

Starting tomorrow I was going to live.

July 2020

The pain is getting worse but the smiles on my family and friends faces are enough to keep me going. I wrote letters and got gifts for them. Niki looks at the calendar every day, I can’t tell him to stop because I can tell he’s hurting so much. Why can’t I just be okay for everyone?

August 2020

The time comes faster, Niki and I went on a getaway for a few days. He deserved a break from everything that has been going on.

September 2020

I never thought I'd die as silly as that sounds. I asked my parents and sister to leave when I got to the hospital. Niki refused to leave and stayed there till I took in my last breath. He kept crying begging me not to go and how he’d do anything.

“Does it hurt a lot?” he asked between sniffles

“No it doesn’t, it just feels like a needle” it hurt like a truck.

“Liar”

I chuckled and held his hand till I couldn’t anymore. “I love you’’ I say as the lights fade.

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗

Dear Nishimura Riki,

When you see this, it means I’m already gone. First of all, don’t beat yourself up too much. I could write for ages about how much I love you but now that I need to, my mind goes blank. You’ve done so well for putting up with me, hats off to you. You might not want to but move on, even though id like you to remember me; let your heart heal and be happy.

Take care of yourself and don’t skip any meals. Eat well and be happy, make sure you visit the places we never got to visit and enjoy yourself. Live life the way you want it every day. Be nice to people and smile more.

Thank you for all the happy memories, my love, I’ll be forever grateful for you. You made my life colourful and worth living.

Love isn’t beautiful but with you it was.

Yours truly,

Y/N.

#enhypen #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #character death #enhypen fluff

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soothinglee · 3 years

Text

"it looks like i'm best"

c!dream x reader (1/2)

masterlist

genre: angst

warning(s)?: nothing yet.

this is has some lines from ENA- Temptation Stairway

(I dont not own these lines I just found inspiration from them. All credit goes to Joel G.)

Dream and Y/N have always been competitors since birth. Everything they did together was a competition. From who could brush their the faster to who could run to the community house the fastest. Dream always won. Not because he was the oldest but he had always been the most athletic. Could jump over a three block high wall and run for miles on end. Not only that but his stamina had always been high. Plus, Dream was always able to become good friends with people, they always liked him but avoided the gaze of Y/N. Dream always said that they were 'allergic to people' which made them stay away.

What made things worse was that Dream was mommas favorite boy, favorite child.

That pissed Y/N off to the end of time. Everything they tried to do always failed and they could never keep up with their brother. They tried working out for hours on end just to come home feeling weak and worn out. No sign of improvement happening. It was a loss cause.

Well...that was until Wilbur saw what was happening. After coming from a hangout with Sapnap, George and their brother they decided to take a walk. Their brothers bragging and flirting with a certain brunette becoming too much to handle.

Eyes trained on the ground, stumbing here and there while fiddling with their white and brown sweater they tumble into a figure that was much larger then they were.

"Woah, hey. Be careful there." A hand comes out to steady Y/N. If it wasn't for that they would've fell over and hurt themselves. "might wanna look up where you're going, don't want to hurt yourself now do you darling?"

Y/N looks up, Wilbur peers down at them from above as he smiles. Theres an undescriable glint in his eyes that seem all too familiar. Moments pass when things start to feel uncomfortable. "Excuse me Wilbur, I wanna go home. Plus you shouldn't be by me."

Wilbur gives a laugh in disbelief, his facial expression goes from a happy one to a slight shocked. His eyes narrow and his mouth goes slanted. If Y/N was going to be honest it kind of looked like he was taking a dump. "ha..excuse me? what do you mean I 'shouldn't be by you'? I quite confused and would love if you could explain that for me." Wilbur shifts on his feet and fixes his collar. Almost as if he was trying to...assert dominance...

Y/N rubs their pointer finger on their nose, they sniffle while their eyes start to water, an itch of a cough echos in the back of their thorax. Dismissally they say, "Im allergic to people" as it was nothing in the world. To them, it seemed normal. They've been told it all their life it was like it was nothing new. To wilbur though, it was a strange sentence, nothing he'd ever heard before. It was interesting , they were interesting. He liked that.

You see, Wilbur has always noticed how Dream practically bullied Y/N everyday of their life. How he always beat them. Wilbur hated that. Not only because he disliked dream with a burning passion but how much potential Y/N could give if they just had the right training.

Shaking his head he turns his attention back to Y/N who had been, drawing in the dirt with rocks and sticks. Wilbur whistles to gain their attention. "Y/N c'mere." they sigh and brush off their dirt covered jeans with a huff.

"what?"

"I have a proposal for you, one I think you'll like."

Y/N looks up and sighs, "What could you possibly offer me wilbur?"

"okay first off, rude. Second I see how Dream treats you. You and I both know how much that brothers you. So," he snaps his fingers. The sudden sound making Y/N jump. "How about I teach you how to fight. How to finally beat your pesky brother for the first time in your life. How does that sound?"

Y/N sucks their teeth and scoffs "I couldn't ever be as good as my brother. Theres no way I could beat him. Dead or alive."

This makes Wilbur laugh and he bends down to Y/N height "Well- ever heard of a monster pig named Technoblade?"

This causes Y/Ns' eyes to widen, they nod rapidly "Yes! I love technoblade. Ever since I read about him taking that village down in the paper with a single swoop in the paper I've always wanted to be like him."

"well guess who trained him?" a smirk starts too makes its way onto his chapped lips.

Y/N gives a skeptical look "No-"

"mhm"

"no WAY, YOU trained Technoblade!?"

"YEAH, I taught him everything he knows."

Y/N gives Wilbur a look up and down. For someone who trained the notorious Technoblade he doesn't seem like it. Dressed is a shaggy yellow sweater with a white long sleeved shirt underneath, his bottom half wears brown leather pants, a red beanie and circle glasses adorn his semi-round face.

"hm, okay. So where should we start off first, Teacher Soot."

taglist:

@angelicaschuyler-church

@kusuinko

#ENA #temptation stairway #DreamSMp x reader #Dream x reader #Wilbur x reader #Angst #revenage #x reader #Dsmp #Sibling!reader #cmerearson #C!dream x reader #C!wilbur x reader #dream smp techno

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

Text

Secret Door: the one where there’s a live flashback show

President James Buchanan Barnes is the first president to occupy the White House without a first lady ever since… well, President James Buchanan Barnes. But he’s not too worried about it, since he got his best friend from college acting as his VP, supporting him just like only someone who knew everything about him could do. What happens when feelings from the past start to resurface?

Or the one where you and Bucky used to date but now you got a country to run.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

specific warnings for the chapter: smut, oral sex (m, f), monster cock, dirty talk, name-calling, hair-pulling, begging, spanking, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie

Y/N’s P.O.V.

It had been so many years since I felt James’s touch on my skin. He was already great at giving me pleasure back when he was just a college boy, I couldn’t help but wonder how much his technique must have improved since then.

Even after all this time I could still recognize it - no one had ever made me as wet as he did.

We stumbled into his bedroom still lost in each other, eyes closed but hands frantic in their exploration of our bodies. It didn’t take long for his hands to slip down my back and I felt the zipper of my dress reveal my body to his eyes - or actually, reveal the lingerie I was wearing to the man I used to date.

“I knew you were hoping for this outcome tonight,” he chuckled, capturing my lips in a kiss again. He wasn’t wrong. I just didn’t think it would actually happen, and I still wasn’t sure it should be happening.

But right now, I couldn’t care anymore.

Dropping to my knees, I reached for his belt with a hunger I hadn’t felt in ages. I could still remember the way he tasted. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t an overexaggeration from my imagination, and the second I licked at his weeping head, I knew it wasn’t.

“Fuck,” I sighed, wrapping my lips around his member so I could start to suck on it, aching to make my own jaw ache, to choke myself on his delicious thickness.

But it had been too fucking long. Bucky had been blessed with a lot in life, and a lot in his pants as well. Back in college, it made for a lot of interest from the ladies department, but that was only until he got them in his room.

Once the boxers came off, pretty much all of them would scramble. It was an impressive, albeit slightly terrifying length and thickness.

But I wasn’t like anyone else. Where they were frightened, I’d always been peculiarly curious, and back when we started dating, his cock was the first one I’d ever seen.

I couldn’t be scared of something when I didn’t have a frame of reference. And now that I did, all I could do was miss it terribly.

“C’mon,” he urged, as I did my very best to train myself the way he spent months training me when I was barely even twenty. “I know you can take it.”

I knew it too, and it only made me wetter, more determined to get as much of him in as I possibly could. When I finally did manage to make his member until hit the back of my throat, a moan escaped my chest, arousal taking over me for being able to do this again.

“Fuck,” he whispered, knees buckling momentarily as he grabbed my hair to control my movements. “Yeah, there you go… No one knows how slutty the vice president is, huh? I’m the only one who can make you like this, darling.”

The reminder of my title - our roles - had me clenching around nothing, eyes momentarily closing to control my breathing because if I kept them open, the blue in his was going to drown me, I was certain of it.

“Get up.” His order was followed by a tug of my hair that left little room for negotiation, but I wasn’t opposed to it, anyway.

“I can see you’re just as bossy as you’ve always been,” I teased as his thumb brushed under my lip, smearing the spit that had gathered there.

“Well, I am the president,” was his retort, paired with a delicious smirk that gave me goosebumps. “I think I’m allowed to be as bossy as I want to, especially when it comes to this pretty pussy right here.”

His fingers found me easily, two of them spreading me open as his thumb fell on my clit to rub delicious tiny circles over it.

“God, I can’t wait to taste you again.” His eagerness shined through when he dipped me on the bed and knelt by it, tongue tasting me with hunger.

I loved that he was still mostly dressed while I was almost naked, but I had enough of it by now. “Off,” I ordered, sitting up suddenly and forcing him to lean back as I reached for his shirt. “I want this off!”

He smirked at my eagerness, but granted me what I was wishing for, deftly unbuttoning his shirt and getting rid of all of his clothing before he climbed on the bed once more.

“Remember when you were just an innocent little thing?” He whispered against my skin, crawling his way up my body, tracing his path with his nose. “Before I took your virginity and made you this cock hungry whore that you are?”

I didn’t know if my gasp was because of his words or the surprise at being manhandled onto my stomach, only to then feel his hands pull me to my hands and knees.

I moaned loudly when I felt his tongue lapping me from behind. “I always made you feel good, didn’t I, sweetheart?” It was the truth. No man had ever worshiped me like the man hungrily licking my arousal, humming in delight like my wetness was the best thing he had ever tasted.

“Fuck, Buck,” I cursed, falling down to my elbows momentarily. “Just fuck me. Please, just fuck me!” He chuckled at my desperation, taking his sweet time to separate himself from my cunt but at long last, he did what I asked of him.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Fuck,” I whispered as I started to slowly inch my cock inside of her. “Look at how well you take my fucking dick…” It was nothing short of hypnotizing.

When my hips met her ass, her gasp was so pretty I wanted to swallow her whole, but I opted to pull her up so I could kiss her cheek, instead. “You’ve always been the only one willing to take all of me, did you know that?”

Her lack of response had me chuckling as I let her go, only to watch her head hang loose between her shoulders. I started moving slowly, mindful of the stretch that was surely affecting her. I’d been walked out on many dates by women who were too scared to take my dick, but I knew how to use it.

Because she had taught me how to use it. She’d trained me and gotten me addicted to her pussy way back in college, and now that I was having my fix, I didn’t know if I’d be able to get over this incredible feeling again.

I don’t think I even wanted to.

“Yes, fuck,” I groaned once I managed to start thrusting, my hand falling over her ass to spank her the way I knew she liked. No one else felt this good. No one. And no one was this willing to be brutally fucked by me but her. She was the only person I knew who liked it exactly like I did.

“God, it feels so good,” she whispered, face pressed against the mattress but her hips raised high to meet me every time I bottomed out. “You’re so deep inside of me.”

She pulled my hand to press it against her stomach, showing me what she meant, and suddenly it was way too warm inside that fucking bedroom.

“I love the way you stretch me,” she moaned. I’d forgotten how much better the sex was with her. How vocal she was, how unafraid to express her emotions and her pleasure she’d always been.

I think the level of trust we shared helped with that. Not only was she okay with letting me know how my cock felt inside of her, it raised the sex to that more intimate, personal level.

No one knew me better than her, so I had never shared this way of fucking with anyone else.

I felt her thigh muscles tremble underneath me, announcing her orgasm. I leaned over her body, covering it with mine so I could sneak a hand to play with her clit, taking advantage of the proximity to rub my rough lips against the skin of her back.

“Cum for me, doll,” I ordered. “I want you to cum for me.” I was expecting her to scream like I was used to witnessing back when we were younger, but instead, she jutted her hips back, letting her head fall on her arms as she panted.

I knew she was cumming from how hard her cunt clenched around me, milking my own orgasm and forcing me to empty my cum inside of her. My arms momentarily faltered, but that moment was all it took for me to fall on top of her, making her huff.

“Sorry.” I pressed a kiss against her back before I rolled to the side, arm covering my eyes as I tried to catch my breath. For a second, we stayed there in silence, just trying to wrap our heads around what happened, but I didn’t want it to extend enough to give her time to regret this.

“You used to be louder,” I commented on a teasing tone. “Have I lost my touch?” My question had the desired effect, and she giggled, reaching out for my hand to press a kiss on the back of it.

“Never!” She assured me. “You just make me speechless now.” Her eyes were gentle and, dare I think, loving as she turned to the side to face me. I opened my arms despite being scared that she would deny me, but no other words were necessary. We fell asleep wrapped in one another, and at least for one night, I could pretend that I hadn’t made any of the mistakes from my past.

Just for tonight, she was mine.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes reader #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes reader inserts #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x yn #bucky barnes x you

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rafaelblackbird15 · 3 years

Text

Teen Wolf Fic Recs Part 4: Sterek

These are Sterek, Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale fanfictions.

I really love these. They are some of my favourite Sterek stories, and ALL of these are absolutely beautiful. Without a doubt. Send the authors some love, because that's what they've given me and us right here. :)

If there is a problem with any of the links, let me know and I will fix them.

For appropriate reading check the hashtags on the actual fics.

I hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

And check out my other Steter fic recs [Part 1] and [Part 2] and Sterek fic recs [Part 3]

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God Brings The Wounded by CallieB on Archive of Our Own

Words: 4938

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

“Jesus,” Stiles says, when he sees Derek for the first time, and feels his face do that thing where it tries to smile. Derek, or the weirdly fresh-faced teenage version of Derek that he is now, doesn’t flinch at Stiles’ exclamation.

He’s too busy flinching at everything else.

Requested by the lovely nohomohomie, who asked for something angsty post-nogitsune.

Has got to be one of my favourite canon teenage/de-aged Derek fics, with beautiful, angsty Sterek, of course.

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You're Not You by CallieB on Archive of Our Own

Words: 5266

Chapters: 1/1

Part 9 of the Sterek Bingo 2017 series

Summary:

Stiles lifts his head slowly, meeting Derek’s gaze. His eyes… they’re always clever, bright, perceptive, but today there’s something in them that Derek doesn’t recognise. He’s pale, but not defeated. He looks stronger than Derek expected. And unexpectedly, he feels it flash through him in a bolt of absolute, though surprised, certainty.

That's not Stiles.

Written for the Dark!Stiles square on my Sterek Bingo card.

This story is possibly one of the best EVER Void!Stiles stories I have ever read. The idea is complex and fascinating and unique. After I read this for the first time I was left stunned and I kept coming back to it in my mind as well as to read because I couldn't get over the idea. It's beautiful.

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Yeah, Pass The Salt, Stiles by CallieB on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3609

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Yeah, pass the salt, Stiles.

They're not particularly inspiring words. Not like the long stream of goo spilling over Scotty's arm. But somewhere, Stiles' soulmate is out there, waiting to say them to him.

If only he could stop thinking about the mysterious hot stranger he met in the woods...

**********

Author: CallieB

This author has 15 Teen Wolf works, most if not all are Sterek. Some of them in particular really hit somewhere special.

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Behind Locked Doors by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) on Archive of Our Own

Words: 11128

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek often showed up in his room—at least he used the fucking door now that he knew where the spare key was hidden—and he couldn’t escape people in general in the Jeep since they could see him through the window. His dad was home, and when he wasn’t, there was always the risk of other people showing up.

His bathroom, on the other hand? No, his bathroom was a small room with no window in the middle of the house with a lockable door and no judgement. He could sit in the bathroom for hours, and no one would question it. Was he watching porn on his phone and jerking off? Was he taking a massive dump? Did he have constipation? Was he stitching up the millionth injury of the month in private? Who knew? No one but Stiles!

The locked door at his back felt like a safety net for him sometimes. In the bathroom, he didn’t have to pretend. He didn’t have to smile and wave people’s words off, insist he was fine, laugh and act like everything was okay. In the bathroom, he was allowed to sit on the floor, his expression tight, and his body falling apart on him.

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Author: isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

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Should Have Looked on Craigslist by Akiruchan on Archive of Our Own

Words: 27217

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek is rash and self-sacrificing, everything that will one day get him killed. Stiles doesn't want that. He's become too accustomed to a life with Derek Hale in it. To live without, well, it just doesn't seem to be an option.

or...

The five times Stiles' expectations fall short, and the one time he's glad they do.

This is an incredible, slow burn, build of the winding relationship between Stiles and Derek and the world they now live in, side by side. It's wonderful and blessedly long.

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Bless You by Ankiruchan on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3070

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

It all started with a sneeze...

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Lend Me Your Eyes, Give Me Your Heart by Ankiruchan on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3057

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Stiles’ life sucks. He’s honest enough with himself to admit to at least that. More often than not he spends his free time running for his life, saving people from creatures who want to rip his face off, and all around having a distinct lack of self-preservation. It sort of comes with the territory. Not something he can avoid when his circle of friends happen to be werewolves.

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Nobody's Fault But Mine by Akiruchan on Archive of Our Own

Words: 26552

Chapters: 4/?

Summary:

Stiles has always been good at ignoring his problems. Preferring to wait them out until they are nothing but a distant memory. But when a midnight stroll leads to a nasty scratch to Stiles side, courtesy of Derek, Stiles finds that some things just can't be ignored, not that he doesn't try. Better hearing and improved eyesight, that is something he can ignore for now. The sudden urge to touch and smell Derek all the time? Not so much.

This is werewolf!Stiles, and it's one the of the laid back, kind, intense versions that I enjoy very much. Unfortunately, I think it's been discontinued, but I believe even so, these 4 chapters are worth the little heartbreak that comes with the knowledge it may not be finished.

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Author: Akiruchan

This author is responsible for some of the best slow build Sterek stories I've read.

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Lock All The Doors Behind You by entanglednow on Archive of Our Own

Words: 25960

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one.

I've come back to this so many times. The relationship is so vulnerable, down to earth and open and kind, extremely kind, which is something Derek really lacks in his life, someone to be kind to him. There's a feeling, somehow, that this is quite natural for them.

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In Case Of Emergency by entanglednow on Archive of Our Own

Words: 1826

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek falls through Stiles's bedroom window at ten past midnight.

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By Any Other Name by entanglednow on Archive of Our Own

Words: 33090

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

He doesn't know his name, he doesn't know who he is, and neither does the werewolf he's on the run with. But he's pretty sure they hunt monsters, because they seem to be really good at it.

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I Could Find My Way Back by entanglednow on Archive of Our Own

Words: 6250

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

What's the worst that could happen?

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Author: entanglednow

This author is responsible for so many amazing fics out there. They have 55 Teen Wolf fics, all with really interesting ideas and takes on the characters and supernatural world.

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You want forgiveness (I'll give that to you) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) on Archive of Our Own

Words: 2806

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek is running from the Alpha, suffering from wolfsbane poisoning and he’s clearly losing it. Why else would he be seeing his mother - and everyone else he might as well have killed himself. But Stiles can’t just let him get what he deserves. Stiles never leaves him behind, even when he should.

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(Fuck you they said) As they threw their threads from their wedding bed by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) on Archive of Our Own

Words: 96199

Chapters: 9/9

Summary:

First Son Stiles Stilinski just accidentally caused an international incident. And apparently the only way to save human-werewolf relations is to marry him off to Prince Derek of Triskele. Stiles is going to need all of his acting skills to make the marriage look real, because the Prince is kind of a fucking asshole.

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Author: dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)

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fake empire by Poe on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3685

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Stiles hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. He was going to tell Derek. The whole truth of it. He was halfway through when the phone rang. A half-finished sentence, left hanging in the air as his life crumbled around him.

(or: Stiles gets so, so lost. But he finds himself again.)

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you all over me by Poe on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3705

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

The thing about Stiles is, Derek thinks, is that he has no idea how enthralling he truly is. He’s easy to overlook, right up until the point he isn’t, and at some stage, Derek started looking, and now, it’s all he can do.

(or: the one where the pack is happy, healthy and alive, and Stiles and Derek are sort of inevitable)

**********

Author: Poe

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For If Dreams Die by veritas_st on Archive of Our Own

Words: 24169

Chapters: 8/8

Summary:

“I had a dream about a boy last night,” Mischief says through a mouthful of pancakes. His dad points the spatula at him and he swallows before he says anything else. “His name was Derek. He called me Stiles. I want to be called that from now on.”

*********

Author: veritas_st

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About Today by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 8901

Chapters: 1/1

Part 1 of the inside these arms series

Summary:

Stiles is having the worst day of his life and it keeps happening.

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Until Tomorrow by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 9016

Chapters: 1/1

Part 2 of the inside these arms series

Summary:

Derek's worst nightmares didn't prepare him for this.

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Let it be me by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 1495

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

After everything that happened, Stiles goes to see Derek.

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Even the stars they burn by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 5770

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek finds out quite by accident what makes Stiles shut up. If he reveals along the way that he didn't always carry this darkness around, then that's entirely Stiles' fault.

*********

Solstice. by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 4119

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

It's the first total lunar eclipse during winter solstice in three hundred and fifty years and Derek has no idea what's going to happen.

**********

Author: rufflefeather

This author has some intense, sometimes heartbreakingly endearing, and wonderful Teen Wolf fics.

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Hear The Wheels As They Roll by crossroadswrite on Archive of Our Own

Words: 44919

Chapters: 2/2

Summary:

“You can’t be here. This is private property,” someone calls out and for some reason that voice sounds painfully familiar.

When it hits him why, Stiles almost chokes with the realization, “Derek Hale,” he says, unbelievably happy because he remembers Derek when they were young.

Derek looks grumpier, sadder, angrier. Stiles can’t really fault him for that. He also looks surprised that Stiles knows who he is. He squint/glares suspiciously at him, his nostrils flare for a second before he widens his eyes almost dramatically.

“Stiles,” he says quietly, like he can’t really believe it.

Stiles beams, “Yeah, you remember me!”

**********

Author: crossroadswrite

*********

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more-stuff-of-pi · 3 years

Text

I’ll Fight For You

a/n: lmao i swear i’m fine, just needed good ol’ kiri to assist me in a v self-indulgent fic. also, sorry for taking forever to write something yoinks

notes: did i read through this after i wrote it? nope. we’re fucking rolling with the audacity of not even a single ounce of beta-ing. requests are open :) find my masterlist here

pairing: kirishima eijirou x fem!reader | genre: angst (w/happy ending) / hurt/comfort | warnings: abusive mother (mental/verbal), a father who doesn’t intervene | word count: 2,018

Your boyfriend was practically vibrating with nerves as he adjusted his hair in the mirror. It was artfully piled on top of his head, his dark roots making a sharp contrast against the vibrant red.

“Ei,” you smiled, “you’re gonna be fine.”

He worried his sharp teeth against his bottom lip, frowning all the while. “But what if they--?”

“They’re going to love you, Ei. Probably even more than they love me,” you joke, coming up behind Eijirou’s monstrously large form. Hero work had been both kind and harsh on him but he made it look effortlessly good. You gently slid your arms around his waist as you angled yourself so that you could still eye his reflection.

“I’m just… worried, is all.”

You cock your eyebrow. “About what, Ei?”

He incredulously meets your gaze through the mirror. “What do you mean, about what?!”

It dawns on you a little bit. “Oh, well, she’s not going to be mean to you, Ei. She knows how to play nice when it counts. And you, good sir, count.”

“That’s not as reassuring as it is worrying, you know.”

“My mother is just a little intense, babe, it’s nothing I’m not used to. Like I said, she knows how to tone it down in front of others. I’m sure tonight will be fine. I probably just exaggerate everytime I whine about her, so she’s probably not even half as bad as I make her sound,” you shrug, leaning more into Eijirou’s side.

“Baby,” he sighs, twisting a little to look directly at you, no mirror this time. His eyes are sad yet firm as if wishing you to understand that there’s no need to defend yourself with him.

You squeeze him tighter before letting go and walking to the door. “C’mon, we’ll be late if we don’t leave now.”

❁

You always forget that you don’t really ever exaggerate your mother’s behavior towards you until you’re around her again. Everything as far as introducing your boyfriend to your parents has been going incredibly smoothly. Your dad enthusiastically engaged Eijirou in hero stories, talking about Red Riot’s most recent media appearance where he was dressed in pajamas and carrying tubs of various ice creams you both had wanted to try when he dropped everything to prevent a construction beam from falling on clueless bystanders. Only one tub of ice cream had survived and luck had it that it was your least favorite flavor combination. Your mother praised Eijirou for his success and his coupling good looks at which she winked, making your boyfriend flush both at the phrase and the uncomfortable comments your mother directed at him. You winced at that, having forgotten to prepare him for the habitual talent your mother had of sexualizing anything, especially if it would ‘embarrass’ her child.

Your mother had made off handed comments throughout the whole night that you seemed to be the only one to pick up on. Your dad might have noticed a few but, as usual, he only looked at you apologetically, never interrupting his wife to stand up for you.

As much as you loved both of your parents and as much as they had their good moments, this fucking sucked.

“--not that she’s any good with that quirk of hers, of course,” your mother snickered as she brought the glass to her lips. You had become a good actor over the years in order to avoid your mother’s bullying over your ‘sensitiveness’, but something about her dismissing your hard work always immediately dismantled whatever mask you had thrown on. To cover what you know must be a crestfallen look, you give a laugh, something that could be called half-hearted at best. Your eyes remained trained on your food. “Oh come on, Y/n, that was funny.”

You chuckled again, hoping to force some genuineness into it. “Yeah--”

“No, it wasn’t,” Eijirou immediately cuts you off, voice straining with anger. You felt your face drain of blood as you noticed how tightly he was gripping his chopsticks. He was fuming. You don’t think you’d ever seen him angry before. The thought scared you. “That was just mean.”

Your mother quirked an unimpressed, subtly pissed brow at your boyfriend. “Don’t be sensitive, Eijirou. House rules: if it’s mean but funny, it’s okay.”

“As long as you get a laugh from it, it’s okay to abuse your child?” He spits at her like venom.

Your mother sets her glass down, eyes narrowing. “Excuse me?”

“You heard--”

You slap a hand over Eijirou’s bicep, squeezing so hard you wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up bruising. “It’s fine! Nothing I’m used to! I grew up on the ‘if it’s mean but funny’ rule, so it’s fine.”

The look he gave you was of incredulous anger. “No, it is not--!”

“Please, Ei. Please, just--,” you averted your eyes, ashamed of your own familiar defeat. “Just sit.”

Shamefully, you slide back into your seat, nervously smoothing out a napkin back onto your lap. Eijirou still stood beside you, staring daggers at your mother who effortlessly returned it. His fists were balled, the veins in his hands flexing with the effort of restraining himself. His jaw snapped shut with an audible clamp as he resolved himself to sitting back down.

Your dad clears his throat, more so than necessary as if the harder he did it, the better he could dissipate the tension. “Done, everyone?” No one answers him. He takes that as the go ahead to begin clearing dishes, desperately jumping at the opportunity to escape your mother’s impending tantrum. You loved your dad very much but, god, he was nothing if not a coward, always leaving you to fight your own battles. You don’t think you’ve ever won.

Your mother returns her cold attention to you, the ice starting to thicken and your mother’s hollow kindness starting to retreat along with her patience. “What are you even doing to help train your quirk, sweetie?”

Taken aback, you met her gaze. “W-what do you mean?”

“I mean, I don’t ever see you doing anything at all to help. You do realize that training takes work, right? What does it take? It takes--,” your mother trailed off, flourishing both hands to motion for you to finish the sentence.

“Effort--”

“Effort!” She clapped with your word. “It takes effort! And I only want the best for you, sweetheart, which is why I’m just asking what you’re doing. From where I stand, it doesn’t look like you’re doing anything at all to help improve yourself! As your mother, your concerned mother, I’m just looking out for you, sweetheart.”

Your mind is reeling at her words. You so badly want to defend yourself, assert all of the effort that you have painstakingly put in-- but you are reminded of the precise way your mother is able to leech any ounce of power or confidence from you. You would think that was her quirk if you didn’t know any better. “Mom, I am putting effort in, I train almost everyday--”

“Do you really?” Her voice drips with venomous shock. “It certainly doesn’t look like you do,” she gestures vaguely at you, eyeing your body with a vulture’s gaze. “Maybe you should consider morning and night. Oh! And a diet change, too. You know, since the popular heroes have a specific look to them and I just want to make sure that you can fit that. Since it’s your dream to be a popular hero. Like I said, you have to be willing to put in the effort. Oh, sweetie, don’t look at me like that. You know the difficult position I’m in! Trying to encourage you and help you achieve your dreams while not seeming too enthusiastic. You’re putting that stress on me, sweetie, I’m only trying to help.”

It really was incredible how quickly your mother could erase any confidence you had. Normally, you would stand beaming, more than happy to assert yourself and stand up for yourself and others. All it took was a couple words from your mother, and you turned into a dog with its head down and its tail between its legs, fearful of its master.

Your gut sank and hatred swirled throughout your body for both yourself and her as you once again let her have power over you. “You’re right. Sorry, Mom--”

“Do you know where your daughter ranks as a hero?”

Stunned, you both glanced at Eijirou, having almost completely forgotten that he was there. Throughout her tirade, you had felt a tragically familiar loneliness, used to having to defend yourself when no one, not even your other family members, would. Used to always submitting and used to the shame that always accompanied your forced silence.

“What?” She spat.

“I asked if you knew your daughter’s ranking. I just was wondering, is all. It would make sense if you weren’t aware that she ranks in the top 30 since you were asking about the effort she puts in. I would think that that accomplishment -- at such a young age, too, might I add -- was evidence enough of the countless hours, blood, sweat, and tears that she has poured into this. The effort she’s painstakingly put in. You’re right that being a hero is her dream, and she’s a damn good one, too. Saved my life more than once with ‘that quirk of hers’,” he sneered bitterly. “And, on top of that, she’s so beautiful through and through that sometimes it’s all I can do to stare at her in awe. Your thinly veiled shaming of her appearance is never the result of a mother’s so-called difficult situation, only the result of your own insecurities.”

Eijirou suddenly stands, having finally had more than enough for one night. “The only gratitude I will ever have towards you is for bringing this wonderful woman into this world. I hope one day you’ll actually realize how amazing your daughter is and how proud of her you ought to be. Because I am. I am so incredibly proud of her and her accomplishments and the results of her efforts.”

“And who’s to say that I’m not proud of her, Eijirou?”

He scoffs. Eijirou, the kindest, most patient man you know, scoffs in your mother’s face. “Haven’t you ever heard that actions speak louder than words?”

Your mother gapes up at him, opening and closing her mouth like a fish. In that moment, she resembles a fish and you couldn’t be more pleased with that comparison.

“He’s right, mom.” You rise to join him. “I know you love me. I have no choice but to believe it because I think it would destroy me if I didn’t. But maybe someday I won’t constantly have to defend myself to you and you’ll accept the things I say without dismissing them. You always say you admire me most for my assertiveness but you shut me down anytime I use it to stand up for myself against you. And that makes you nothing but a hypocrite.” You stare her down, reveling in the confidence Eijirou gives you in this thing against your mother. For the first time, you are not alone as you fight this battle. For the first time, you have help. And for the first time, you feel like you’ve won. “Now if you’ll excuse us.”

You take Eijirou’s hand and lead him out of the house, leaving your parents to stare after you in shock. As soon as you make it out, cold air hits you like a slap in the face that harshly wakes you from a daze.

“Holy shit, Ei, did I just stand up to my mom?”

He laughs and squeezes your hand. “It was pretty manly, too.” You laugh breathlessly, still in disbelief as you push your other fist against his arm. “And you know,” he continues, “that I’m the best judge of that.”

“That must mean a lot,” you grin, swinging your linked hands between you as you walk further from your parents’ home, feeling the fullness of a good meal and a battle won.

taglist: @samwrights, @mayaoliviee, @luluwiie, @gigglyparker (i thought i would tag you since you commented on the draft that i posted of this, hope you don’t mind <3)

#i'll fight for you #kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima x reader #bnha x reader #hurt/comfort #abusive mother tw #tw abusive mother #mha x reader #bro this fic lowkey fvcking sucks lmao so sorry that this is the first thing you see from me in a while #like it just feels really rushed which it probably is but it's incredibly self-indulgent and it fulfills my purposes so it's good enough #for me that is

123 notes · View notes

cocobeanncteez · 4 years

Text

ATEEZ Wooyoung- School President (Oneshot)

Genre: light angst, suggestive/steamy, high school au.

Pairing: SchoolPresident!Wooyoung x badgirl!reader

Warnings: none.

"Miss L/N, detention after school till 4 p.m." your chemistry teacher said, making you mentally groan. It was the last class of the day and you were dying to go home, but now you had to stay for an extra hour. All your classmates turned to look at you, but they weren't surprised. "You still haven't submitted the assignment."

"Can I just submit it tomorrow?" you asked in a bored tone.

"No, you were supposed to submit it a week ago," she said, gathering her stuff to leave the class. "Detention with Mrs. Hwang today." You heard people around you snicker. Well, fuck. Mrs. Hwang was the strictest teacher in school. Even you were scared of her despite your badass attitude.

You got up from your seat, leaving the classroom with an annoyed expression on your face.

"Detention again, Y/N?" your bestfriend asked as she made her way to you with your other friends.

You rolled your eyes. "Ms. Jang will never fucking let me live in peace. I'll see you guys tomorrow," you said, making your way to detention.

You were surprised to find the room empty. Usually, there would always be about three or five students. Since no one was here, you decided to ditch; you would skip school the next day so that your teachers will forget about it. You turned around to leave, but ended up bumping into someone, slightly startling yourself.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at your school president and heartthrob—also called 'senior's eye candy' at your school—Jung Wooyoung.

You had to admit, he was certainly the most handsome guy you've ever seen. Jung Wooyoung was absolutely perfect. Every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him. You were sure half your school tried to hit on him despite the fact that he has a girlfriend.

"Unfortunately, I'm here to make sure that you won't escape detention as Mrs. Hwang is busy, so take a seat," he said, moving around you to sit on a chair and taking a notebook out of his bag.

You always found Jung Wooyoung very interesting. Other guys like him—the nerdy ones—can't even talk to you, let alone look you in the eye. Jung Wooyoung was the complete opposite.

You sat on one of the chairs, immediately taking your phone out.

"You can't use your phone here," Wooyoung said, not looking up at you from his notebook. "Why don't you complete your assignment?"

You scoffed. "And if I don't? What are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing," he said, looking at you. "It's not affecting me in any way, so I don't care. However, Ms. Jang is gonna fail you again if you don't submit your assignment."

You knew he was right. And that annoyed you; you really just wanted to shut his pretty mouth up.

"Whatever," you mumbled, taking out a notebook and the assignment sheet to start working on the reactions you had to write.

However, you were completely blank. You didn't know or understand a word given on the sheet. You bit your lip as you stared at the sheet, wondering what to do.

Finally, you took out your phone and googled all the reactions, easily finishing the assignment in less than half an hour.

"You know, you won't be able to copy during finals," Wooyoung said, closing his notebook. "Even if you're copying now, at least learn what you've copied."

"I didn't ask for your comments," you retort. He was about to say something, but his phone rang.

"Hey, baby," he answered. " . . . I'm in charge of detention today . . . Oh, that's okay," his face fell slightly. " . . . No, it's alright. We can go some other day . . . Hmm, I love you too. Bye!"

You snorted, feeling bad for the boy. You were surprised someone as smart as him hasn't figured out that his girlfriend has been cheating on him. You've seen his girlfriend shoving her tongue down random people in the club, and hitting on people at your school. You remembered how shocked you were when you first found out that she was cheating on him; because why would anyone cheat on someone as perfect as Jung Wooyoung?

"You can leave now," Wooyoung said, getting up from his seat. "Detention is over." You nodded, leaving as fast as you can, just wanting to go home and sleep.

"Your grades aren't very bad, but they aren't great either, Y/N," your class teacher said. "You'll get into an average college with these grades. But I know you can do much better. So I've asked one of the prefects to tutor you in Chemistry and Physics."

You groaned. "Can I do it by myself?"

"You wouldn't do it by yourself," she said. "Anyway, Jung Wooyoung will be tutoring you. Discuss and decide your timings with him. I expect you to score well on the next exam. I do not want to see you fail in any subject again." Before you could say anything, the door to the staff room opened, revealing none other than Jung Wooyoung. "Ah, Wooyoung, I just told Y/N that you will be tutoring her," she said. "I'm expecting you to do a great job."

Wooyoung smiled. "I won't let you down, Mrs. Park. But Y/N must put in efforts or else there's no point," he stated in a polite tone, and you rolled your eyes.

"Yes, that's true," she turned to look at you. "I'm expecting nothing but your best efforts, Y/N." She's always expecting something, huh, you thought. You only smiled, bowing politely.

"I'll do my best."

"What the actual fuck is this?" you mumbled, staring at the lengthy derivation written in Wooyoung's notebook. He rolled his eyes, so tired of hearing you say that to literally everything you saw written in his notebook.

"Ah, why did they have to make me tutor you of all people?" he whined. "You clearly haven't paid attention in class for even half a second."

"No one told you to accept it," you said, ignoring his last comment.

"I had to," he scoffed, stretching his arms out, making you glance at the veins on his arms. "Extra credits, you know?"

"Nerd," you muttered under your breath. He heard you, but didn't say anything. He began teaching you how to derive it; you paid attention for the first few seconds before zoning out. When you zoned back in, he asked you to explain what he just explained. You bit your lip, thinking of what to say.

He sighed. "You didn't pay attention again."

"I zoned out, sorry."

"That's what you said for the previous derivation," he said, a disappointed look on his face while he packed up his things.

"You're leaving already?" you asked, glancing at the time on your phone; you still had twenty minutes left.

"I'm not going to waste my time teaching you right now," he said. "You clearly aren't in the mood to focus." You only scoffed, watching him leave the library. You bit your lip, feeling kinda bad for not paying attention when he was making an effort to teach you.

The look of disappointment he showed you had somehow made you determined to prove that you could focus and do better.

You were at Wooyoung's house, sitting on his bed and scrolling through your social media while waiting for him to finish changing out of his uniform. You spent an entire two weeks studying your ass off, and you were proud you made a big improvement, thanks to Wooyoung. He was quite surprised that you were actually making an effort to understand whatever he taught you. You both even became friends, and you were quite happy about that.

"I'm done," he said, coming out of his bathroom, making you look up from your phone. You held your breath at the sight of Wooyoung dressed in grey sweatpants and a black tank top. You couldn't stop yourself from checking him out: the veins running down his muscled arms, his exposed collarbones, his sharp jawline, his plump lips . . .

You were so immersed into checking him out, you didn't realize he was doing the same to you. He loved how your uniform skirt rid up your thighs, and how another two buttons on your shirt were unbuttoned, exposing a little bit of your cleavage. Before you knew it, he was slowly making his way towards you, eyes now locked with yours.

"Let's start, hmm?" he said with a smirk; he knew you were checking him out.

You clear your throat a little. "Yeah, let's start."

You spent the next half an hour trying to pay attention to whatever Wooyoung was teaching you. It didn't help that he absentmindedly placed his hand on your knee, or brushed your hand with his; he knew exactly what he was doing to you. Your mind kept wandering to the things you want him to do to you right now on his bed.

" . . . and now you should tell me," he leaned a little close to you with a smirk, making your heartbeat speed up. "Which formula should be used?"

"Fuck this," you muttered, pushing the books aside before straddling Wooyoung's lap.

"Took you long enough," he chuckled, and you crashed your lips on his. He instantly kissed you back, hands moving to grip your waist. You wouldn't admit it to anyone, but you have been dreaming about kissing Wooyoung the second he talked back to you a year ago.

You pulled away to litter his neck in kisses, sucking the skin gently. He groaned softly, making you smirk. "Fan of neck kisses?"

"You have no idea," he said, hands moving underneath your skirt to grip your bare inner thighs. He gave it a squeeze, making you involuntarily grind down on him. He moaned at the feeling, encouraging you to do it again. You moved your lips back to his, grinding on him even more. Wooyoung's hands slipped into your panties, grabbing your ass to help you grind down on him faster. The friction made you moan, craving for more. You tugged on his shirt, breaking the kiss to let him pull it off. You ran your hand down his toned torso in awe, loving the feeling of his abs beneath your fingertips. Your eyes widened at the tattoo above his hip bone. "You have a tattoo?!"

Wooyoung gripped your hips, moving you off of him so that he could hover over you. "Mhmm, bet you never expected the nerdy school president to have a tattoo, huh?" Your hands moved to his hair, playing it with while he began to kiss your neck, driving you crazy.

Wooyoung kissed down your chest till where your shirt was unbuttoned. He glanced up at you, fingers toying with the buttons. "Can I?" he asked. You nodded, letting him unbutton your shirt and slip it off you. You sucked in a breath when he ran his fingers over the lacy material of your bra.

"Take it off," you whined, making him chuckle.

"Patience, baby," he said, one hand gently rubbing your thigh.

But you really didn't have any patience right now.

You brought his lips to yours while you moved his hand to touch you where you desperately needed him, surprising him a little. He kissed you back hungrily while his finger moved on your clothed clit, applying pressure, making you get wetter. Your moans made him smirk; he loved how he was the reason behind it.

You both got startled at the sudden sound of his garage opening. He halted his movements, pulling away from you instantly.

"One of my parents is back from work," he said, quickly putting on his tank top and handing you your uniform shirt. You quickly buttoned it and straightened out your hair; you really did not want Wooyoung's strict parents to suspect anything since they already did not like the idea of him tutoring you in his final year of high school.

Wooyoung's father knocked on his bedroom door before opening it, finding you and Wooyoung busy writing equations.

"Oh, hey, dad! How was work?" Wooyoung asked with a sweet, innocent smile like as if he wasn't smirking a few minutes ago while touching you.

"Hello, Mr. Jung," you said politely.

"Hello, Y/N," he said. "Work was all right, as usual. How is your tutoring session going?"

"Good, dad," Wooyoung said, trying to control himself from smirking. "It's going really great."

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sweetlyskz · 3 years

Text

Drama Class

Genre: Collage AU!, Acting AU!, Drama, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Summary: Drama class has always been your safe space, a place for you to show off your amazing acting abilities, but when the new student, Kim Seokjin, joins your class, you find it hard to keep up.

Warnings: handjob, sex without protection, language... I think that's it :/

Word count: 1,5K

Finally, the second to last class of the day is almost over. You stare at the clock, waiting for it to hit 1:20 pm. Then, at 1:19, you finally hear it.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

You pick up your things and launch out of your boring Calculus class, heading o your favorite class of the day. Drama class. On your way there, however, you bump into some kid who is obviously not watching where he's going. Just as you go to tell him off he says,

"I'm so sorry, I'm trying to find my last class, uhh, room 304. Do you happen to know where that is?"

"Actually, yes I'm headed there now. You can come with me. Drama class right?"

"Yes, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You both walk to drama class very awkwardly. Once you guys get inside he sits right next to you, making you uncomfortable. He looks at you and whispers while the teacher is explaining the improve assignment for the day.

"My name is Jin by the way. You?"

"Oh, I'm y/n."

"Very pretty name y/n. How long have you been acting? Personally I like to act but I like singing way more. I actually take these vocal lessons and…”

God, he talks a lot, you think to yourself. You ignore him and ask the teacher to go to bathroom, needing a serious break from his constant talking. When you come back to class you see that kid Jin making everyone laugh with his improve skills. Even your teacher was getting along with him perfectly, as if he had been in this class since the beginning of the school year. This definitely made you upset. That should be you in front of the class, humoring people with your improve skills. Who does he think he is to show up and come for your spot like that?

As the school year continued, your dislike for Jin only grew stronger. In drama class, he always got the main roles. He looked at you with a smile that you greatly despise. Maybe your paranoia was getting to you but something was telling you that behind that smile was a person who was selfish and deviant. These thoughts led you to distance yourself from him, making smart remarks whenever he would practice or perform. He didn't really know your reasons for hating him but he knew for sure that you did.

On your way to drama class make eye contact with Jin who is talking to someone down the hall. You quickly break eye contact and speed down the hall as he tries to catch up with you.

"y/n! wait up!"

When Jin finally catches up you both walk in silence until he speaks up.

"have you been okay lately?" he asks you. "You hardly show up to drama class and when you do no one really notices, well except me.”

"oh yeah, I'm okay. I just kinda gave up."

"what? why? you love acting."

"Because... you showed up"

"Wow. you know, I had I feeling you didn't like me for some reason, but why? I have done nothing to!"

You both stop walking, now raising your voice in the middle of the hallway.

"Done nothing to me? Ever since you joined the class you have made everything difficult for me! You take my spot in class. You get all of the main roles. Why does everything come easy for you? You can't just-"

Jin cuts you off by wrapping his arms around your waist and passionately kissing you, you kissing him back. He smiles into the kiss and you slowly pull away.

"I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. It wasn't my intention, I swear.”

"Well you did", you say trying to still stay mad at him.

"I guess I just wanted to impress you, and everyone else, but more importantly you." You look at him confusingly. Why would he do that? I mean it’s understandable that he show what he can do to the teacher, but why was your opinion so important?

"Impress me? Why would you feel the need to impress me?"

"Because y/l/n y/n, if you haven’t noticed yet, I like you. I mean I really wanted to get to know you but you started ghosting me and-"

You pull him in for another kiss, cutting him off. He kisses you back and wraps his arms around your waist, smiling into the kiss.

"I like you too Kim Seokjin. I guess it just took me a while to realize it. And I’m sorry for being so jealous towards you. I can be a little oblivious and in my head sometimes."

"A little?" He remarks.

You giggle like a a little school girl and playfully hit his arm. You wonder what will happen now that you both have expressed your feelings for each other. Would you go on a date? Or maybe he doesn't want to be with you after you judged him. As if he could read your mind he says,

"Drama class is over in like 10 minutes so there's no real point in going. How about I take you to one of my favorite thinking spots on campus?" You smile and nod. With that he grabs your hand and gently pulls you out of the back doors of the main building, guiding you a secluded tree in the Uni's garden. Surrounding the tree are beautiful roses and tulips.

"Wow, this is so pretty", you say, sitting next to Jin in the grass. "How often do you come here?"

"Pretty often. I usually come here when I need to clear my head or ponder on things. It's always quiet over here, easy for me to just take a break from everything."

You gaze over at Jin, who is playing with the tulips next to him. He looks so perfect. With the sun beaming on one side of his face and the wind blowing his silky hair. You feel like you've fallen in love, not just because of his appearance but also because of his wise words. When he realized how quiet you were being he turns toward you, only to catch you staring at him.

"Everything okay?"

"Kiss me."

He laughs at your sudden comment. "do what?" he says.

You smile at him. "I said kiss me dork."

He waste no time and does what he's told, entangling his hands in your hair and kissing you softly. The soft kiss turns in to a heated make out session under the tree. You climb onto his lap and shower his neck with kisses and love bites. As much as he wants to take it further he stops you there.

"Not now baby, later."

"Please, I'll be quick I promise", you respond, slowly grinding on his lap.

"Fuck", he moans. "5 minutes."

You start back up kissing on his neck while unbuttoning and pulling the zipper down on his pants. "Fuck, I'm so needy right now". He groans quietly as you palm his hardening cock through his boxers.

"If you dont stop teasing baby I swear I will fuck you right against this tree", he says, grabbing your hand and putting it in his boxers. You take the hint and pull his underwear down for his erection to spring free (ya'll I giggled lmao). You use the precum already spilling out of his cock and move your hand up and down his length slowly, earning a moan from Jin.

"Shit ,baby please."

You decide to tease him a bit more. "please, what?"

"I need you pussy so bad right now, please." You suddenly remove you hand from Jin's cock, making him whimper, and slide your pants down along with your underwear. Aligning his throbbing cock with your heat, you slowly go down on him, causing a string of cuss words to come out of Jin's mouth.

"mm, baby your so big, fuck", you moan quietly in his ear. Finally, you start to ride his cock, making him grab tightly onto your waist. He moans when you start to suck on his neck, leaving even more hickeys on his collarbone. You reach your hand down and play with your clit, moaning in Jin's ear.

"Shit- I'm gonna come y/n", he exclaims. You ride him a little faster and use your free hand rub his nipples. he moans your name loudly, cumming inside you. you follow him soon after, convulsing on his cock, moaning his name. He gently pushes you off his cock, becoming too sensitive. "Well, I can checking fucking under a tree off of my bucket list", Jin says playfully. You laugh while getting up and putting your clothes back on. Jin does the same, buttoning his pants back up.

"So, are you free tomorrow night?"

"Depends. Is it a date or a booty call?"

He laughs until he realized you weren't joking. "A date of course."

You start to walk away, heading back home. Before you go you yell over to him. "Sure. I'll be ready by 8, don't be late."

A/n: Yes I know this is poorly written but personally I think I'm getting better :) I'll have a jk fic ready for you guys sometime this week.

#bts jin #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts smut #jin smut #kim seokjin #seokjin fanfic #seokjin x reader #seokjin smut #bts angst #jin angst #jin fluff

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avengers-age-of-fanfics · 3 years

Text

just for you, honeybee (6/?)

pairing: steve rogers x reader (platonic), natasha romanoff x reader (platonic), bruce banner x reader (y/n is a big fan of his), tony stark x reader, bucky barnes x reader

warnings: mention of bucky, fighting, training, mention of guns, takes place during The Avengers

words: 3,359

a/n: part 6! i honestly don't know how long this series will be, but i think i may end it at either endgame or TFATWS. so basically going through all the movies lmao, but skipping over a few. i just want honeybee and bucky to be happy but gotta add some angst.

Transitioning into a new world, the year of 2011, was no easy feat, and you appreciated Director Fury being somewhat patient and honest about how much has changed. Him, and apparently one of your biggest ‘fans,’ Phil Coulson, have been the most helpful with your adjustment, teaching you all about the new technology and supplying you with a new phone, courtesy of S.H.I.E.L.D.

However, along the way, were a few speedbumps. You and Steve trained consistently in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s gym, almost leaving no room for sleep or taking proper care of yourselves. You both knew it was terrible, you should be looking out for one another, but the loss and confusion overran your needs to live a normal life. However, over time, he seemed to adjust better than you, as expected. Even though Steve had only been awake a few months before you, he jumped right back into the new world.

For you and Steve, the both of you had seen Bucky a few weeks ago; you had seen Steve a few minutes ago, from the time you had woken up. To everyone else in the world, including Steve, however, that was history, a moment written in textbooks ages ago; and for Captain Rogers, that moment was months ago.

In your mind, you deserved to release your anger out on some punching bags.

It had taken Director Fury and Agent Coulson a while until they shared the news to you and Steve, that Peggy was alive. They had claimed that since they found Steve, high hopes were in store for finding you, hence saving off on telling him beforehand. Steve had immediately wanted to see her but you hesitated; what would Peggy say to the both of you? How would she react to you both being alive? No matter, Steve had begged you to come along to visit Peg and you caved, giving him some time with her before he called you in.

Peggy’s eyes lit up, “y/n, you’re alive! Sweetheart…”

You smiled, pulling up a chair next to her, “hey, Peggy. How’s the strongest woman alive doin’?”

She sighed, grasping your hand, “better…much better. Howard never stopped looking for you, the both of you. He’d be so happy to see you.”

You sucked in a breath as her eyes turned glossy, “we know, Pegs. We know.”

She held back her tears as she continued, “he had a son, Anthony; just as stubborn but smart as Howard. You’d love him.”

Steve chuckled, “sounds like a handful.”

Peggy laughed before falling into a coughing fit, turning away for a few seconds. After regaining her breath, she turned towards you and Steve, “Steve! Y/N! You – you’re both alive; you came back!”

Steve gave a sad smile as your face fell, “yeah, Peggy, we did…”

Steve’s eyes teared up, “I couldn’t leave my best girl; not when she owes me a dance.”

Over time, the visits to Peggy became too much and you needed to rest. So, with little convincing to Director Fury, you found yourself in a small cabin in Bozeman, Montana, with frequent visits by both Coulson and your new female friend, Natasha Romanoff. At first, you hated the idea of someone visiting you during your time to reflect, but once you realized that she wanted to help you train and become used to your super serum abilities, you appreciated the company.

You barely had any time to adjust to your newfound strength, among other things, and you slowly became grateful that Natasha had joined you over the course of a few months. Sure, sometimes she was so nosy and bossy, waking you up in the ungodly hours of the morning to train, but she had slowly become one of your closest friends.

Honestly, some days it felt as if you just met Natasha the day before:

You stood in Fury’s office, arms crossed, as he stood adjacent to you, Coulson awkwardly standing beside him. “Why are you sending a babysitter to a place where I am supposed to be, oh, I don’t know, relaxing? Reflecting?”

Director Fury grumbled for the umpteenth time, “because, Agent L/N, you never know when the day will come where we will need you and Rogers, along with your special abilities. You are unskilled in hand-in-hand combat, among other areas in defense, and it’d be nice to enhance our agents.”

You uncrossed your arms, still very pissed off, “I don’t want them to visit me every day. That’s my one condition. I need time, Nick; I feel like I haven’t properly…taken everything in. I just want time to myself.”

Phil spoke up beside Fury, “and we respect that, Y/N, we truly do. But we hope you also see where we are coming from. Natasha Romanoff is very skilled in her profession and understands your situation – you’re in good hands.”

“Phil, you’re making me blush,” a female monotonous voice spoke.

Whipping your head around, you were met with a beautiful redhead who definitely seemed like an Agent, someone who meant all business. You’d learn later on that was just a façade.

“I- Y/N L/N, you must be Agent Romanoff,” you said, holding out your hand.

Natasha grinned, shaking your hand in hers, “just call me Nat, Agent sounds too formal. I look forward to seeing what that super soldier serum truly did to you.”

Apparently, not too much as she continuously kicked your ass in combat.

Training with Natasha was, well, with your lack of combat, embarrassing. You had your ass handed to you so many times, it was a bit pathetic – but she always told you that you were improving. You used your heightened senses to your advantage, listening to her footsteps and figuring out what move she intended to use next. You hesitated to use your strength at first, but with continued training, you knew Nat could handle it.

With Nat, you also became very skilled in shooting handguns, rifles, the whole nine. Your aim was impeccable and target training was becoming a breeze. The thought of shooting someone terrified you at first, but when Nat reminded you that hesitation could get you killed, you understood – there was no room for mistakes.

During your stay in Montana, you kept in touch with Steve, but only through short texts. He was not thrilled with you leaving him, but he understood where you were coming from; you needed to mourn but also keep busy, careful to not fall into a dark abyss. Fury kept you updated, telling you that he had pushed himself into training continuously and visiting Peggy all he could. You knew seeing Peg was doing Steve no good whatsoever, and your heart ached...but at least he got to see his long love.

Nat had been there when Bucky’s birthday passed, holding you as you cried, unable to leave your bed the day of and a few after. She held you as you yelled at the sky for taking away the most important person in your life, leaving you so alone. She knew you had Steve, but it wasn’t the same – you needed Bucky. But she also knew by letting you cry, your emotions out of your body, you’d feel so much more at peace.

And she was right.

Natasha also told you about Howard's son, Anthony, and from what you saw on the news, that was definitely Howard's kid. Tony was arrogant, self-absorbed, but did what he thought was right. After his declaration of being Iron Man, you followed Tony all over the internet, but hearing first hand from Natasha of the man that Tony was...Howard would be proud. You wished to meet him, you did, but something pulled at your heart, telling you that Tony probably hated you for taking his dad from him, forcing Howard to become obsessed with finding you and Steve and thus, costing him his life.

Natasha told you he might see you in that light, yes, but if you ever got to know Tony, he'd warm up.

You weren’t healed and you still weren’t okay, but you were…better. You hated whatever being there was in the sky for taking your James, but you came to terms with it. But the one thing you were so resentful about was the fact that there was no body, no funeral for him.

Becca hated that, too.

You had visited her in her old age, just like Peggy, and the two of you held hands as you talked about James and Steve – your boys. She had missed you so much, just like she missed Jamie, and she understood your pain the best. She had tried to encourage a search party for him, to have some closure, but the government refused. He was gone, and they couldn’t send more men to find a disfigured body.

You hated thinking about that, what James would look like. It haunted you in your nightmares, waking you up in the wee hours of the morning, his frostbitten body staring right back at you. Phil had found you a morning after such nightmare, sitting on your porch in nothing but an oversized shirt and a blanket around your shoulders, cheeks wet with fresh tears.

You sniffled once more, wiping your nose with the back of your hand, watching as a black car parked into your dirt driveway. The car opened and Phil Coulson emerged, as expected - on time for your monthly visits. Hugging onto the blanket tighter, you shivered against the cold air, hoping Phil would just leave upon noticing your state.

He did the exact opposite.

Phil took off his jacket, resting it upon your shoulders even though you had the blanket. You sniffled, inhaling his scent, and hugged the jacket closer, feeling Phil take a seat next to you on your wooden bench.

"I always found snow to be soft, almost like a cloud, falling down upon it when James and I would make snow angels," you began. A shiver ran down your spine as you continued, "but now, I can't help but think of his body just...plopping onto the ground so roughly that he was hurting, still alive, yelling out for anyone and..."

Phil ran his hand over your head, brushing your hair back, "freezing."

You glanced to Phil, "freezing to...to death. He must've been so scared, I-"

Phil shushed you as the tears formed, "no what if's, y/n. He's safe now - that's what matters most. You're okay, and so is he."

Your bottom lip trembled as you held onto the dog tags, nodding to Phil's words, "you're right, as always."

Phil gave a tight smile, "let's go inside and heat up some milk, 'm getting tired myself." Coulson held your hand for the rest of the night.

Trying to convince yourself to get some closure, you told yourself that the next time you were in Washington D.C., you’d visit the museum and read all about Bucky, all that he had done, and see the amazed looks of citizens who saw him as a hero. Your James Barnes was a hero to so many people, including yourself, and you should be able to celebrate his goodness from when he was alive.

You were going to go the next day until Director Fury knocked on your door at 2:30 in the morning, holding a file labeled “CLASSIFIED.”

You raised an eyebrow, “couldn’t have given me this at a decent time?”

He narrowed his good eye, “it’s urgent, didn’t have time for formalities, your highness.”

With a snort, you grabbed the folder from his hands, “glad you know how to properly address me. What time do we leave?”

Fury tilted his head toward the quinjet, directing your eyes toward Steve who stood alongside Natasha, “once you get dressed, Agent. You’ll have time to look over the file in the jet.”

You weren’t sure why you got dressed so fast; seeing Steve for the first time in about 6 months, finally going on a mission, or just getting some new sense of scenery. Either way, you engulfed Steve in a hug and he laid a hand on the back of your head, “hey, honeybee.”

Your heart ached whenever he called you that, but you figured it was one of the last things he could hold onto Bucky as his dog tags laid against your chest, “hey, Stevie. So, what’s the deal?”

Reading over the file while Nat gave more information about Clint – someone else who you had grown quite close to – you grew confused. You looked to Steve, “the Tesseract. That’s the blue cube that…disintegrated Schmidt, right?”

Steve nodded, “looks like Howard recovered it and it’s been in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s hands since, but this guy, Loki, wants something to do with it – Hydra’s secret weapon.”

Fury spoke up from the front of the jet, “that scepter he has, it controls the minds of anyone it touches, including one of my sharpest agents. The Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy – that’s something the world sorely needs. Falls into the wrong hands, well…”

You shook your head, “you shoulda left it in the ocean.”

Silence overtook the quinjet until Phil came over to your seat, sitting beside you, “I’d like you to come along to recruit another member, if you don’t mind.”

You gave a small smile to Phil, “um, yeah, that’s fine. Where we goin’ and who are we recruiting, Coulson?”

Phil seemed a bit nervous as he spared a glance to Nat, who nodded her head, “Tony Stark, Iron Man.”

You sucked in a breath, “Howard’s son? You want me to come along?”

Phil laid his own hand upon yours that rested in your lap, file forgotten about, “I do, and I hope you wouldn’t mind tagging along.”

Holding back your tears, you nodded, “yeah, yeah, I’ll come. When do we leave?”

“Once we land in D.C., we’ll take a quick trip to New York. Easy car ride.”

You squinted your eyes, “isn’t that like, a 6-hour drive?”

Phil gave an uneasy smile, “not with me driving, we’ll be there in 2.”

You chuckled, “as long as I get there alive, I don’t really care how we get there.”

In all honesty, the drive to Stark Tower was relatively calm, save for swerving through traffic and going way too fast for your liking. Once you arrived, you and Phil talked to the impressive AI named JARVIS who told you both that he was informing Mr. Stark of your arrival.

“Impressive Artificial Intelligence,” you whispered to Phil, “definitely Howard's kid.”

Phil was about to respond until JARVIS spoke up, “Mr. Stark is not in, Agent Coulson.”

Your friend pursed his lips together, “please tell Tony that this is urgent and we need to speak. Now.”

Very quickly, Tony ignored your calls until Phil hacked into the system, overriding JARVIS and his protocols. Phil spoke into the phone, pulling you inside the elevator, “Mr. Stark, we need to talk.”

Tony sighed on the other line, “you have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark. Please leave a message.”

Phil rolled his eyes, causing you to let out a snort, along with Pepper Potts on the other line, “this is urgent, Tony.”

You and Phil stood in the elevator, about to reach his floor as Tony responded, “then leave it urgently.” Right on cue, the elevator doors opened and Tony held up his glass of champagne, “security breach, it’s on you.”

Tony’s eyes glanced over your figure as you stood beside Phil, Pepper getting up from the floor to greet him, “Phil! Come in. I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met yet, Miss?”

You smiled at Pepper, meeting her halfway and shaking her hand, “Agent Y/N L/N, Miss Potts.”

Tony stood beside Pepper, “the infamous Miss America, Cap’s sidekick. How’s S.H.I.E.L.D. treating you? Always annoying you with something, barging in without your knowledge, telling you that you've been asleep for 70 years?”

Phil spoke for you, “I’m afraid we can’t stay. We need you to look this over as soon as possible.”

Tony shook his head, “I don’t like being handed things.”

You let out a chuckle as Pepper took the folder, “that’s fine, because I love to be handed things. So, let’s trade.” With a quick switch of hands, Pepper gave Tony the folder as she handed Phil the glass of champagne, “thank you. Anything for you, Y/N?”

You shook your head, “no thank you, Miss Potts.”

You took a moment to look Tony over. Peggy was not kidding – he looked exactly like Howard, and certainly acted like him, too. They had the same eyes, the same face, and the same attitude; it was almost like looking at a clone of Howard. Your eyes filled with unshed tears but you pushed them back, taking a small breath as Phil continued, “this is not a consultation.”

Pepper’s eyes grew wide, “is this about the Avengers? Which I know nothing about.” She looked guilty once the words slipped.

Tony sighed as he walked away, opening up the folder and looking through it quickly, “the Avengers initiative was scrapped, I thought – and I didn’t even qualify.”

Pepper shrugged, “I didn’t know that, either.”

Tony continued, “apparently I’m volatile, self-obsessed, don’t play well with others.”

You mumbled, “kind of like Howard.” Tony pointed his finger towards you as he nodded, “and she speaks of him!”

Pepper nodded her head, “that I did know,” ignoring his comment towards you.

Phil shifted his weight, “this isn’t about personality profiles anymore.”

Tony grunted, “whatever. Ms. Potts, got a second?”

As the two were talking, screens were lit up of you, Steve, and others fighting, and you stumbled back with a slight gasp, still new to the whole holographic stuff of technology. Phil turned towards you, asking you if you were okay with a look, and you nodded. Pepper looked towards you both and back to Tony, whispering, “maybe while working on this, you can get to know her. Get to know your dad. I’ll take the jet to D.C. tonight. You have homework – a lot of homework.”

The two kissed before Pepper headed your way, “so, any chance you two are driving by LaGuardia?”

Phil nodded, “I can drop you.” Pepper smiled, “fantastic!”

The two began to walk towards the elevator as you looked on at Tony who held a holographic Tesseract in his hand. In that moment, your brain convinced yourself that was Howard, your Howie.

Tony turned towards you, “you joining them or you just gonna stare?”

You took a step back, a frown on your face as you mumbled an apology, meeting Pepper and Phil in the elevator. Pepper turned your way as the doors closed, “I’m sorry about him. When it comes to his dad and you, he gets a bit…”

You finished her sentence, “jealous. He missed out on a lot and I can imagine Howard spent too much time talking about me or Steve instead of him. I understand.”

Pepper gave a tight smile.

In a few short hours, you, Phil, Steve, and a few other S.H.I.E.L.D agents were on your way to the helicarrier, something that only a few of you knew about. You sat next to Steve, looking over Dr. Bruce Banner’s files, examining videos of him as Hulk, and how he was trying to recreate the super soldier serum. You had known about Dr. Banner and honestly, had become one of his fans – when he was in his human form, of course. His works on nuclear physics and gamma radiation greatly interested you and upon reading many of his published articles, you had completely forgotten about his condition. Having the opportunity to meet him in person was certainly one of your dreams and you just knew Bucky was making fun of you for being such a dork.

Phil stood up from his seat, walking towards you and Steve, leaning above you both. Steve looked to Phil, “this Dr. Banner was trying to replicate the serum they used on me?”

Phil nodded, “after Howard Stark’s death in 1991, Dr. Banner made it his mission to replicate it. A lot of people were. You – you both – were the world’s first superheroes. Banner thought gamma radiation might hold the key to unlocking Erskine’s original formula.”

Steve looked uneasy, “didn’t really go his way, did it?”

Phil shifted his weight as he looked towards you, then to Steve, “not so much. When he’s not that thing, though,” you interrupted him with a glare, “sorry, the Hulk, the guy’s like a Stephen Hawking.”

Steve looked to you, confusion written on his face. You shrugged, “a really smart person.”

Silence enveloped the three of you until you nodded to Phil, urging him to continue. Phil seemed all giddy, “I gotta say, it’s an honor to meet you officially. I’ve sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping.”

You snorted as Steve nervously smiled at Phil, covering your face as he continued, “I mean, I was present while you were unconscious from the ice.” Steve stood up as you continued laughing, making his way to the front of the jet, “you know, it’s just a huge honor to have you on board this.”

You followed Phil, clapping him on the back as Steve overlooked the ocean, “thank you for that, Phil, truly.”

Steve elbowed you as he mumbled, “I hope we’re the people for the job.”

Phil’s eyes lit up, “oh, you are – you both are, absolutely! We, uh, made some modifications to your suits, by the way.”

You glanced towards Phil – now this was what you missed.

honeybee taglist:

@clownerlyluv

@ginger-swag-rapunzel

@starkleila

@intothesoul

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 3 years

Note

Fake dating au where demetris on his third strike with the school counselor so when they're about to fight again he holds his hand instead. Hawk cant help but blush and counselor Blatt jumps to conclusions and tries to be overly accepting

PFFFFT okay this is fuckin great

Like I’m just imagining Demetri doing the PETTIEST bullshit to get back at Hawk for that destroying-his-science-project business, like he writes “COBRA KAI SUCKS” all over his locker in sharpie in cleverly-disguised handwriting or pours soda on Hawk’s karate equipment and tough dude sportsballs (because come ON--Eli’s had the same locker combination for years, and just because he’s badass now doesn’t mean it would occur to him to change it) or steals his portable hair gel so that the ‘hawk will be sad and sagging by 6th period, and as soon as Hawk catches on to what’s going on, it doesn’t take long for him to figure out who’s behind all this chicanery. And he fuckin goes RIGHT up to Demetri during the next passing period (he knows exactly what part of the school that little nerd is in because he figured out and memorized Demetri’s class schedule SOLELY for harassment purposes and not because he likes him or anything) like “BRO YOU WANNA GO YOU WANNA FUCKIN GO” and Demetri gets ready to fight like “COME AT ME ASSHOLE” and Demetri’s getting ready to throw the world’s meanest punch to start the brawl (because his douchebag ex-best-friend ain’t the only one who can strike first) when the accursed Counselor Blatt rounds the corner.

She turns and fixes an icy glare right on them, and Demetri has to think fast. He unclenches his fist mid-punch and wraps a hand around Eli’s wrist. Eli’s hand flexes out in surprise, and before he can react, Demetri’s fingers have found their way up his wrist and laced with his own. Hawk’s face goes redder than his (already, sadly, beginning to sag) mohawk.

And fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Hawk was absolutely not prepared for this. He absolutely was not prepared for the same goddamn helpless sensation of vertigo to hit as that time he held Demetri’s hand during Red Rover in the 6th grade (how in the hell did a couple of losers like them get invited to play, anyways? The teacher probably made the other kids include them or something). And Hawk fucking hates how warm and pleasant Demetri’s hand feels in his own, and how it fills him with the same hopeless longing that he hoped he could punch away into oblivion as soon as Kreese started training him.

But here comes that stupid-ass counselor, and something tells him that now is not the time to yank his hand away and slam Demetri into the lockers behind them, no matter how much he would like to.

“Demetri? Eli?” Counselor Blatt looks back and forth between the two of them, perplexed. “What’s this?”

“What’s what, Counselor Blatt?” Demetri pulls Hawk closer and swings his other arm around the shorter boy’s shoulders. Hawk can only bristle in barely-concealed rage.

“Did I just...see you about to punch Eli?” she continues. “When you’ve been to our seminar on respectful alternatives to physical aggression?”

“Oh no, you misunderstand!” Demetri laughs, and Hawk wants to smack him. God, his laugh is annoying. He’s annoying. Hawk wants to scream into a wall and he’s not sure why.

“I was just in a hurry to hold my boyfriend’s hand,” he goes on gleefully. “I haven’t seen him all day! Is that okay with you, Counselor Blatt?” He gives the counselor a challenging stare, and Hawk almost feels sorry for the woman and how utterly lost she is.

“I thought you were upset with Mr. Moskowitz here for ruining your science project,” Counselor Blatt says slowly.

“Oh, that?” Demetri snorts. “We were just on a little break. I think that was my indication that good ol’ Eli wasn’t taking it too well. But we worked everything out, and it’s alllll good now!”

He gives the counselor his most winning grin, and Hawk just turns to gape at him. Out of all the absurd directions Demetri could’ve taken this thing, framing him throwing a soccer ball across the cafeteria to smash Demetri’s project as a couple’s fight was one Hawk had not seen coming.

But then again...that did kind of let him off the hook, didn’t it? If all of his messing with Demetri was nothing but silly relationship drama. After all, Counselor Blatt hadn’t lifted a finger when the utter spectacle that was Kyler and Sam LaRusso’s breakup had ravaged the school’s gossip chain.

“You know, you really should be more accepting of LGBT relationships,” Hawk says, making a point to pull out the kicked puppy expression. “It’s hurtful enough that my boyfriend and I get as many stares as we do from other students.”

“I...! Well! I mean!” Counselor Blatt splutters, looking everywhere but their eyes. “I think it’s great you boys are able to...express yourselves so freely! I want this school to be an environment where students of all sexualities are able to be themselves. I’m so happy West Valley High is such a diverse place!” She smiles, brightly but still very confused.

“With all due respect, Counselor Blatt, we’re not just some token gay couple.” Hawk doesn’t let up on the puppy dog eyes. “We’re just two guys who love each other. That’s all. All we want is to be accepted for who we are.”

He feels Demetri stiffen beside him with surprise, but the grip on his hand and around his shoulder doesn’t loosen in the slightest.

Demetri’s really acting like he doesn’t want to let go. He’s really committing to this façade.

Makes sense. When they were in middle school, Demetri always tried to be the class clown--not that it ever worked. Eli would always cheer him up by insisting he had a natural talent for improv. The kid isn’t half bad at acting, he’ll admit.

“And...you are accepted!” Counselor Blatt reassures awkwardly. “I’m...sorry I misunderstood your relationship, boys. I should be better about checking my heterosexual privilege.”

“Not to worry!” Demetri says cheerily. “Anyone who works at being a good ally to the community is always appreciated!”

Hawk resists the urge to roll his eyes. What was this, a fucking gay Sesame Street episode?

“Sorry again, Demetri. Eli. Have a nice day.”

As soon as Counselor Blatt shuffles around the corner and out-of-sight, Hawk tears his hand away (as...reluctant as he admittedly is to do so. Feeling another hand curled around his made him feel calmer and safer than he had in months, no matter what utter pussy’s it was. Disgusting. Kreese would never train him again if he found out, that was for sure.). He shoves Demetri hard--not into the lockers, not in any way that’ll make a noise to be noticed, but enough to knock the wind out of that fucking runt.

“What the fuck was that?” Hawk snarls.

Demetri crosses his arms and glowers at him. “I just saved both of us from a month of detention. It was only so long before she figured out Cobra Kai’s the aggressor around here just as much as Miyagi-Do is.”

Hawk surges forward and tries to shove him again, but Demetri is ready this time and quickly blocks. “What the hell was your grand plan, anyways?” he scoffs. “Pick a fight with me in the middle of the school day?”

Demetri sighs, starting to back away. “Eli, Eli, Eli. I know you’ve got a good brain in there, buddy. Maybe start using it, if all the punches to the head haven’t messed it up too much.”

He taps his head a couple times before turning and disappearing into the throng of students around them. Hawk groans.

Mitch doesn’t make matters better as they walk away. “Dude, were you blushing?”

“Shut the fuck up, man! I was just fucking embarrassed!”

Bert sniggers. “I’ll say. Should I start planning the wedding?”

“Don’t make me fucking deck you! Look...he wanted to stay out of trouble, and I realized I could spin it to our advantage. So I did. We’re in the clear for now.”

“Yeah, only took a bit of...hand-to-hand combat,” Mitch snickers. “What’s next? Judo wrestling him in the janitor’s closet?” He and Bert break out in giggles, and Hawk shoots them both his most seething glare.

“If you mention any of this to Sensei Kreese, I will kill you,” Hawk growls.

“Fair enough,” Mitch says, shrugging. Bert nods in agreement.

Hawk reminds himself to wail especially hard on both of them during practice today.

#hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #binary boyfriends #hawkmeat #eli x demetri #demetri x hawk #elimetri #demetri cobra kai #eli moskowitz #counselor blatt #mitch cobra kai #bert cobra kai #cobra kai #cobra kai season 3 #hawk #demetri #eli #my askbox

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amyscascadingtabs · 3 years

Text

the way you keep the world at bay for me

post-the set up, a.k.a jake taking care of hungover amy, hungover amy taking care of sad jake, and mac caring mostly about himself because he’s a baby 😌

read on ao3

Jake doesn't get a lot of sleep that night, and for once, it's not even Mac’s fault. It's not even due to the pizza parlor simulator game either, although he does play a couple of rounds when Amy's finally snoring next to him after ranting to herself about the babysitter’s club for a solid ten minutes, but not even that can fully distract him from the dull sense of doom that's made itself at home deep in his chest.

This is bad. Holt wants to see him tomorrow, and Jake knows there will be consequences. There has to be. There should be. He made a mistake, and he's going to get punished for it, and there is nothing he can do but accept his defeat. He already knows what he has to do; the nerve-wracking thing is the fact that it's still hours away, and his brain is spinning too fast for sleep.

He really wishes he could talk to Amy. She's sleeping on her stomach with her mouth open, arms straight out to the sides like she’s trying to push him out of bed, but he still can’t be mad at her. He hasn’t seen her this drunk since before she got pregnant, and he’s seriously worried about the hangover she’ll be sporting tomorrow, but he also knows she did it for him. Because they’re a team. Because she trusts him, sometimes even when it turns out he was wrong.

He wrongfully arrested someone. The sentence keeps repeating in his head, appears pasted in bold font on the inside of his eyelids if he tries to go to sleep, and displayed in luminescent letters on the ceiling of his bedroom when he gives up and opens his eyes again. He should have known better, has learned his lesson time and time again since his early days of constantly glorifying his job and letting his impulsivity get the best of him, and he still made a mistake.

He just wants someone to tell him it doesn’t make him a bad person. If only Amy wasn’t so drunk he’s scared to wake her up right now, Charles wasn’t so devotedly biased in all questions involving Jake’s role as a detective, and Mac wasn’t, well… so completely unable to grasp any of the concepts involved in the question.

Amy lets out another mighty drunken snore, and Jake hopes she will consider it a testament to his love for her that he doesn’t voice record it. He turns his head instead and picks up his phone to go back to the pizza game. Maybe just a few more virtual customers will be able to lure him to sleep.

He must have fallen asleep eventually, because when Mac does start babbling to himself over the monitor, the morning sun is shining through the windows, and Amy’s stopped snoring. She’s only moaning uncomfortably to herself now, and Jake’s guessing from her strained grimace that the headache has kicked in hard.

“I’ll get you coffee and aspirin as soon as I’ve checked on Mac,” he whispers to her with a kiss to her neck, and he thinks he sees the hint of a smile as she reaches out for him in what’s probably an attempt of a pat on the back, but ends up more of an unintentional slap to his butt. Or maybe she’s still drunk, and it is intentional. It’s hard to tell.

Mac may have no clue about what’s currently going on with Jake, but at least it’s impossible not to smile when he hauls himself up and rocks back and forth on unsteady feet in excitement over the fact that someone’s coming to get him. He greets Jake with that wide grin that shows off all of his four teeth – two up and two down, and they’ve kept everyone up at night for weeks, but they’re so pearly white and cute so maybe it was worth it – and a laugh that’s been Jake’s favorite sound on Earth since the first time he heard it.

“Good morning, bud,” Jake tells his son as he lifts him up in his arms. “What do you say we get you a bottle and mama some coffee? Hmm?”

“Bah,” Mac repeats. Jake decides to give him the benefit of the doubt and say it means he agrees on the bottle.

“Bottle, exactly. You're so smart,” he says, booping his little nose and smiling as it makes Mac giggle. “Let's try another one. Dada.”

There's a tense moment of them both just staring at each other, and then finally, his son goes,

“Bah.”

“One day,” Jake says with a sigh as he carries Mac out of the nursery. “As long as you say me first, okay? We’ll get there. We’ll practice.”

He puts Mac in the high chair while he tries his best to work the coffee machine and the bottle warmer at the same time. It's trickier than to be expected on almost no sleep, but at least he manages to pour the breast milk from the freezer bag into the bottle and not into his coffee this time. He's only made that mistake once (fine, maybe twice, and he kind of liked how sweet it tasted but he's never gonna tell anyone), but he suspects Amy's never gonna let him live it down. He gets Aspirin from the medicine cabinet while he waits, and puts a couple of slices of toast in the toaster. His own day feels already pretty much beyond saving, but at least maybe he can improve Amy's.

Though, when she stumbles out of the bedroom, still in her pajamas with her huge glasses and hair on end and looking like she's either seconds from being sick or going straight back to sleep, he worries whether she might just be beyond saving, too.

“How are you feeling?” He asks as she gives him one drained look before walking up to the couch and face-planting on it with another pained groan.

“I think I might be dead.”

“That's called a hangover, babe. I think you used to be familiar with the concept once upon a time, but I guess it's been a while.” Jake grins at Mac, who only reaches his chubby hands out for the bottle out in response. “Toast?”

“Do I have to?”

“It's going to help.”

“Fine.” Amy pushes her head off the pillow to look at Mac. “He's not drinking the milk I pumped yesterday, right?”

“I poured that out for you. I know they say moderate amounts of alcohol are fine, but, well, you were speaking British.”

“Good call,” Amy mumbles as he puts the coffee, aspirin, and toast down in front of her. “See, this is why I married you.”

Jake just hums, but he does smile to himself as he goes to grab his own cup of coffee.

“I wish I could call in sick to work today,” Amy says between bites of toast, and Jake looks up from where he’s absentmindedly brushing crumbs off the countertop while finishing his own. “My head feels like it’s going to explode.”

“I mean, you did very much go through contractions while managing an entire precinct during a blackout once. You could think about that?”

“No, this is worse than giving birth,” she states confidently, and Jake has to try very hard not to laugh. “Don’t tell my past self I said that. Or my future self if I ever give birth again.”

“Yeah.” He grimaces. “I’m pretty terrified to go, too.”

“Why?”

“Because yesterday? All of it?”

“Ohh.” Amy sighs. “Right. Maybe we should both just stay home.”

Jake’s about to tell her how much he wishes that was an option when Mac drops the finished bottle against the tray, immediately starting to twist in his seat. Jake unclasps the belt and lifts him out before he manages to rock the chair – that kid’s shockingly strong – and Mac immediately crawls away towards the walker. He doesn’t use it to move yet, but he’s been pulling himself up with it for over a month, and the anticipation is high every time he lets go with one hand only to sit back down on his booty the next second. Sometimes Jake could swear his son does it for attention. At least Mac doesn’t seem to have inherited his impulsivity, Jake thinks, and then he’s back to beating himself up in his head.

“I just don’t know why I did it,” he mutters as he sits down on the floor next to Amy’s head on the couch. She nods slowly, and Jake takes it as a sign she might actually be able to listen to him now. “I should know better, right? These are, like... the kind of mistakes I used to make. I thought I’d gotten better at this kind of stuff. Smarter. Less impulsive. Less of a bad cop. But instead I arrested and tailed an innocent man, all because I thought I had a gut feeling and thought I was being set up.” He shakes his head. “I guess that FBI jerk was right about gut feelings.”

“You’re a great detective,” Amy says without missing a beat. “A lot of the time, your gut feeling is right.”

“That doesn’t excuse it. I still shouldn’t have done it.”

“No.” Amy sighs. “You shouldn’t have.”

“It sucked.”

“Yeah. It did. But there’s nothing you can do to change it now.”

“Do you think I’m a bad person for it?” The question comes flying out of him, and Amy frowns.

“Why would I think that?”

“Because it was a shit move! And because I’m definitely gonna get suspended for it, and that’s going to lose us money. And then we’re not going to be able to save as much for Mac, or pay for his baby music class or baby gymnastics. And then he’s going to end up broke and untalented and it’ll all be my fault, and then you’ll be ashamed of me and leave me and I’ll die sad and alone in a ditch.”

“And you don’t think you’re spiraling just slightly right now?” Amy asks. The smile on her lips is one of amusement, and it humbles him, bringing him out of his cycle of self-pity.

“I don’t know. I didn’t get a ton of sleep last night.”

“I don’t think you’re a bad person,” she says, and that does make him feel a bit better. “I think you made a really stupid mistake. There's no getting away from that. I’m not happy about it. But… I know you'll take responsibility for it. That’s already a whole lot further than a lot of people care to go.”

Her fingers brush through her hair, calming him as she speaks. The hangover has made her voice a little scratchy, Jake notices when she's this close. It reminds him of mornings after long evenings out before they were parents, a time that always feels far longer ago than it was. Sometimes he thinks everything before Mac might as well be another lifetime.

“And we'll work it out if you do get suspended,” Amy continues, talking over the obnoxious melody playing from a toy Mac has found. “It's not great, of course. But we can save lots of money on daycare if you stay home with Mac. That helps.”

“Like a paternity leave,” Jake says. He does like that thought.

“Oh yeah.” Amy laughs. “You’ll be just like one of those hip Scandinavian dads who get to stay home with their kids because they live in countries where they don’t hate people for having kids. And you two can go to all of the cool classes and playdates together. You’d be the sexiest dad at baby swim class for sure.”

“Wouldn’t I also be one of the only ones?”

“Good point. Make sure to mention your wife a lot. But hey, Mac’s going to love it.”

As if wanting to confirm Amy’s point, Mac crawls over to Jake and tries to climb up on his knees to sit in his lap. He does this sometimes when he’s playing on his own; retreats to their arms for a hug or a quick cuddle, only to try and wriggle out of their grip and go back to whatever it is he’s doing in the next moment. Jake thinks it might be one of their son’s sweetest qualities. Mac rests his head against Jake’s chest, almost hugging him like that, and he wonders, not for the first time, how a person that’s not even one year of age can make every other issue in the world seem so insignificant. Even if it's just for a moment, it's a pretty damn good moment.

Fueled by the most powerful motivation of all – their son’s love and attention – Amy sits down on the floor too, patting her knees.

“You want to come to mama, Mac?”

Mac squirms for a moment in Jake's arms, and Jake lets go of him. Using the couch as support, for a second it looks like he’s almost about to take a step toward her. Both parents gasp in anticipation, and it must confuse him, because he reacts by giving Amy a shocked look and sitting right back down on his butt. Jake laughs as their son crawls away again, heading for the soft building blocks outside the playpen.

“He's such a tease.”

“He gets that from you,” Amy says, and Jake huffs in mock-offense. “Are you sure we shouldn't just stay home from work?”

Jake thinks of his upcoming meeting with Holt. He's been fearing it for so many hours now, and he's starting to wonder if the anxious anticipation might just not be worse than the meeting itself. He already knows what he has to do; the only thing left is to rip off the band-aid.

“I don't think it will make anything better if we don't.”

“Yeah.” Amy sighs, closing her eyes and leaning on his shoulder. “I love you.”

“Love you too. And you should probably shower and put on makeup unless you want everyone to know exactly how hungover you are.”

“I know you're right, and I hate it.”

Jake grins and strokes her hair before getting up from the floor. “I’ll go get Mac ready for the day.”

“Jake?” Amy calls out before he can leave for the nursery with Mac in his arms, and he turns around. Her voice is still a little hoarse.

“Yeah?”

“It's going to be okay, babe. We’ll figure it out.”

Jake brushes his fingers through Mac’s already unruly curls. He thinks of playground dates, the storytime for toddlers their library holds every Wednesday, and how much time he’ll have to make sure Mac says his name first now. Then he thinks of the bigger image; of daring to set a good example for this child, even when it's hard. If he wants the world to be a better place for his son, he's going to have to start by taking responsibility for his own actions.

“Yeah. I know.”

For the first time that day, he dares to believe it.

#my writing #b99 #b99 fic #i put / bc tumblr doesn't do line breaks anymore clearly #anyway. this is late and not my best it's been a Week but i really wanted to write something so. here is Something <3

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marindram · 3 years

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full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!

huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)

Marinknows.best

Location: Seven Monolith Village

Last Login: 12/31/2019

Profile Views: 101,275

About me: I love listening to music and glitter

Friends (0)

June 26, 2018

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!

So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?

Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"

14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.

I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?

But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.

But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.

Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.

And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!

July 1, 2018

Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM

1. Kiss someone (who???)

2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)

3. Go to Paris

4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)

5. Go to Greenland (why not???)

6. Go to New York City

7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)

8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.

9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.

-plus an upstairs downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own

-plus an upstairs/downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.

10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)

11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)

12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday

13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)

14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true

15. Liquid eyeliner??

16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?

17. Kill me

18. Bye

19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.

July 30, 2018

Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:

I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that

people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.

If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.

August 2nd, 2018

I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)

So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL

Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.

I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!

September 4, 2018

I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.

Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol

October 16, 2018

I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.

November 12, 2018

WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.

I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??

Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)

So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.

I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?

There's just a lot.

January 15, 2019

Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!

I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.

I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.

I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?

My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.

So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.

January 16, 2019

Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!

February 14, 2019

Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.

Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.

Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.

Same.

February 19, 2019

I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?

It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.

March 2, 2019

This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:

The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.

If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)

Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.

In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.

March 9, 2019

Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.

Can. You. EVEN???

February 3, 2020

Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!

I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.

But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!

Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!

February 16, 2020

I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?

So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING

but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue

March 2, 2020

Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))

March 15, 2020

I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I

My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.

No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing

April 17, 2020

So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?

But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??

Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!

Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.

April 23, 2020

Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.

May 2, 2020

So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.

So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.

She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.

May 7, 2020

The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.

The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.

May 19, 2020

So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.

But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.

May 27, 2020

So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.

(gonna continue this in reblog)

#omega mart #marin dram #omega mart lore

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