#yeah... this route is getting pretty depressing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flowerui · 3 months

Text

♫ we both like apple cider, pgw

fluff & light angst, 4.1k words ୨୧ first fic on this blog! feedback is appreciated!! ^_^ i've had awful writer's block for MONTHS so i hope i havent gotten too rusty,,,

wherein dancing is your favorite way to destress, until a certain gunwook park goes and spoils it all.

꒰ requested. gender neutral reader (no pronouns or gendered terms used), reader is a year older than gw, dancer reader, bff hanbin, one-sided enemies to friends to lovers, college au, misunderstandings, set in the us, does this count as forced proximity? light angst, fluff (it gets so cheesy idk what happened to me), drinking/underage drinking ꒱

Dancing had always been your favorite way to unwind. After a long day of classes, practice is like a treat; the mental toll of having to listen to your professors drone on all day, and procrastinating assignments until the night they’re due is easily unraveled by dancing until you can’t feel your limbs—it’s unmatched.

That’s why, despite it being Wednesday (the second worst day of the week), you walk out of your last class with a skip in your step, like nothing could ruin your day.

Nothing except a man named Hanbin, that is.

After changing, you enter the practice room, ready to forget your worries. But before you can begin, you see a paper stuck on the wall beside the door—Hanbin must’ve finally put together the choreo for the solo and duet performances for an upcoming recital for some event on campus (truthfully, you can't be bothered to remember all the details, that's Hanbin's job), and decided on who’d best fit the roles. You’re a little late, so it’s just you who curiously shuffles over to take a look.

Seeing your name under Duet makes you smile until you read your counterpart's name. Gunwook Park.

You find a spot to sink to the floor in the back of the room. Suddenly, you’ve changed your perspective on dancing; it’s the worst thing to happen to you. You regret ever discovering this useless passion of yours, who even needs passions in this economy?!

Hanbin would tell you otherwise, but you believe that you have pretty good ideas.

You’d tried to take an easier route and complain to Hanbin that you absolutely could not work with Gunwook for a duet. But he was adamant about not making any alterations at this point, at least not just because you don’t like Gunwook—what a traitor, what happened to friendship?

Since complaining about your unfair working conditions did fuck all, you came up with a wonderful solution. You get paired with the number one person on your shit list? Just don’t show up to rehearsals. Boom, problem solved. Though it’s easier said than done; you’re a creature of habit, and the disappointment of remembering you can’t destress with dance is depressing.

And, of course, avoiding both Hanbin and Gunwook is a chore.

It’s on day four that you consider, maybe Hanbin is right sometimes. You were only successful in avoiding everything except schoolwork because college kicks everyone’s ass, and finding free time starts to feel like finding a needle in a haystack. But, maybe ditching practice when you live with the leader of your dance team wasn’t your best idea. On Sundays, both you and Hanbin usually end up being home at the same time.

And like an idiot, you forget this detail and trudge out of your room at two in the afternoon (no, you certainly did not just wake up, thank you very much) to find something acceptable to eat.

As you’re rummaging through the pantry, you hear your name called in that tone. The one where Hanbin’s voice sounds mildly shrill and a bit patronizing, the one that lets you know you’re in trouble.

Yeah, not your brightest idea—it might take over the number two spot of your top three worst ideas, followed by trying to gaslight a random group of people into believing that Play-doh is edible after you’d had a drink too many at your first college party at number one. (To be fair, you did not expect a twenty-something-year-old man to have Play-Doh on hand and tell you to prove it. Yes, you tried. You vomited on the guy’s shoes.)

Rigidly, you slowly turn to face Hanbin, who has a terse smile on his face.

“...Yes?”

“I thought maybe you hadn’t shown up to rehearsals because you weren’t feeling well, but yesterday, Gunwook told me every time he spotted you on campus, you naruto-ran away.”

“Uh,” you fake cough into your elbow, “Must’ve been someone that looks like me? ‘Cause I have been feeling kind of under the we—”

You shriek and make a run for it when Hanbin stomps over with that creepy hamster puppet you’d given him as a gag gift last year in hand. Eventually, you get cornered and get a creepy hamster puppet thrown in your face. “You can’t just ditch practice because you have some petty one-sided rivalry—or whatever it is—with Gunwook. You’re risking embarrassing the whole team! What are you planning to do, just not learn the choreography?”

“You know it's not a rivalry...” You grumble.

“You’re being childish,” Hanbin sighs, “I’ve already told you that whatever your deal is with Gunwook is some misunderstanding, he’s a sweet guy.”

“Yeah, whatever.” You huff, probably not helping the childish accusation. You’re tired of hearing that about what a good guy Gunwook appears to be because you know what you heard.

Without another word, you stomp off to your room.

If you had any hopes of getting out of going to rehearsal again, they’re promptly stomped on by Hanbin waiting outside of your class when you trudge out.

“Really?” You groan, and walk over to your supposed friend, “You don’t need to escort me.”

“I think I do,” Hanbin crosses his arms, fixing you with a look, like he knows you better than yourself… okay, he does ninety percent of the time, but that doesn’t mean he can act like it. “I’m pretty sure I saw you ready to head in the wrong direction before you saw me.” He says before grabbing your arm and pulling you down the hall.

“I don’t even get what your deal is with Gunwook,” Hanbin finally says when you’re about halfway to the studio, “I know you said you heard him say something… unsavory, but that just doesn’t sound like him at all. I think you should talk to him, I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding.”

“I know what I heard, Bin…”

“I’m not saying you didn’t hear what you heard, but maybe there’s some missing context.”

You try to consider Hanbin’s words, even as you absentmindedly head into the changing rooms, and reluctantly shuffle into the practice room afterward, you truly do.

But all the rational thinking and breathing techniques in the world cannot quell your ire when you see Gunwook. Calmly walking over and refraining from saying anything uncouth is a true test of mental strength—one that you are quite afraid of failing.

“Hey—” Gunwook rises from his spot in the corner of the practice room to greet you.

“Let’s get started.” You blurt out, aware of how cold and biting your dismissal comes off. To be fair, Hanbin didn’t tell you to be particularly nice, he just insisted you show up.

“Oh, right,” Gunwook’s expression wilts, but he clears his throat and plasters a polite smile on his face. “I’m sure Hanbin already let you know he wouldn’t be here to help us out today—he’s helping Natty with her solo. I’ve got the choreo down, so I should be able to guide you if needed.”

“I practiced at home.” You did. A little bit, it wasn’t easy with the limited space in your cramped—ahem, homey apartment. But practicing a duet by yourself, then giving up after stubbing your toe on every fucking piece of furniture in your home, and practicing it with your duet partner are two different things.

“Oh, that’s good… um, I’ll start the music.”

Your name is followed by an exasperated sigh. With reluctance—because your phone’s home screen is just that interesting—you glance up from your phone, to see Gunwook eyeing you through the mirror.

“Could we try to get through the routine? Maybe without you scratching me this time?” Gunwook gnaws at his bottom lip, sweat beading at his temple. He’s actually been hard at work, practicing while you sat in the corner of the room—essentially sentenced to a time-out after accidentally scratching Gunwook every time you tried to run through the routine with him. Accidentally.

You can’t help the frown that sets on your lips. Only to you, it seems, Gunwook Park is an enigma. When he first joined the team, he seemed nice, and he wasn’t much younger than you, you just never got the chance to properly talk to him. However, now you never want to speak to him, the fact that you have to work so closely with him is nauseating.

Tampering down all the ugly word vomit bubbling in your throat, you mentally repeat Hanbin’s words from yesterday to yourself, ‘You’re risking embarrassing the whole team’. Not only do you find most of your teammates to be more than bearable, but you also you can’t bomb a performance because you were too petty to practice the choreography, so, even though the thought of being so close to Gunwook—having to touch him makes you full body cringe, you suck it up.

“Sure.”

Begrudgingly, you get into position and wait for your cue. As the music starts up for what feels like the billionth time that evening, you miss the many nervous glances cast your way.

Succeedingly, you manage to not cause any more bodily harm, even when you have no choice but to get close enough to Gunwook to the point you cannot look anywhere but into his eyes. The urge to flee strikes, as unease among other odd emotions you will not address churn in your gut, but you deal with it (read: ignore it).

You manage to run through the routine once, then again, and again, and again, until your limbs feel like gelatin and you have no option but to sprawl out on the floor. It occurs to you how much you missed this feeling, you can barely believe you let your pettiness get in the way of it.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

Turning your head to the side, there’s Gunwook, also sprawled out beside you. Huh, you don’t even have the negative energy within you to loathe his presence in the moment.

“You just did. But you can ask one more thing.”

A goofy grin splits Gunwook’s lips before he turns his head back to face the ceiling, expression shifting a little more seriously. “Did I… was there something that I like did? Or said to upset you?”

Oh. Right. So, you haven’t forgotten your distaste for Gunwook. You feel your good mood sour, as you scoff, and force yourself to finally sit up—your limbs are very much protesting, screaming at you, matter of fact, but fuck them. And fuck Gunwook Park. “Seriously?”

You glance over your shoulder, Gunwook, who sat up shortly after you, only blinks at you curiously, as though he hasn’t got a clue.

“You really don’t know? Do you just talk shit about everyone and that’s why you can’t seem to remember me?”

“What…?” Gunwook’s brows furrow, “What are you talking about?”

“I heard you." You push yourself up off the ground, fixing Gunwook with an exasperated look, "After our performance at orientation in August, you had a lot to say about my skill, and how ridiculous I looked.”

“I don't…?” You watch as the confusion and then the recognition passes over Gunwook’s features, “No, I—shit,” he hangs his head with a groan, which doesn’t serve to dissipate any of your arising confusion. “That wasn’t about you.”

“I heard you say my name, don’t bullshit me.”

“I—okay, I definitely said your name, but it seriously wasn’t about you. There was this, um, character in a film my roommate watched for some project; they were supposed to be a dancer, but they were godawful. I was talking about the character, and I didn’t even think about how they had the same name as you, or about how loudly I was talking about that.”

“Oh,” you say, rather intelligently. You consider the thought that he could be lying, but he looks at you with such earnestness, remorse practically pooling in his eyes, you can’t even entertain the thought for more than a moment.

“Yeah, oh. I’m sorry you thought I was talking about you…”

“No, I’m sorry,” you quietly sit back down, anger gone as quick as it arose, and flop back on the floor with a sigh. Having your entire view of Gunwook Park debunked in a mere minute was not on tonight’s bingo card.

“I should’ve—Hanbin kept telling me it was probably a misunderstanding and to confront you, but I just stewed in my misguided hatred. God, Hanbin’s going to be insufferable once I tell him he was right all along.”

Gunwook huffs a laugh, “I’m glad we sorted this out, finally. Um, I guess we should wrap up for tonight since it’s getting late. Can I walk you home?”

“Don’t you live on campus? You don’t have to walk me home if you just have to walk back here…”

“It’s fine!” Gunwook smiles, oddly enthusiastic. Weird, personally, you dread having to walk home after practice. “I want to, and I guess now we can get to know each other? Now that you don’t hate me.”

“Yeah… okay, I’ll grab my stuff.” You sit back up again, as much as you’d like to become one with the floor.

“Okay, cool.”

“Cool.” you can’t help but smile, seeing the wide grin on Gunwook’s face. You’re going to choose to believe the warmth in your cheeks is because you’re still cooling off from rehearsing.

The idea of rehearsing is a lot more palatable now that you don’t despise your duet partner. The actual rehearsals aren’t too bad either… they’re actually kind of enjoyable.

Hanbin was, in fact, very insufferable when you spilled everything that’d happened that day to him. He’d been waiting up for you, sitting on the armchair in your living room, and nearly gave you a heart attack when he flicked on the lamp beside him; like he was your mother and he’d caught you sneaking back in the house.

“Hey, how was class?” Gunwook has taken to waiting for you outside your classes on rehearsal days, you even say hi to each other when you see the other on campus, and maybe talk if you’re not busy.

“Don’t get me started…” you groan, “I have no idea what my professor was on about today, but I thought his jaw was going to unhinge before he finally stopped talking.”

Gunwook chuckles, and grabs your bag from you, cradling it to his chest. “I thought I told you I could carry my bag myself?”

“And I told you that you could try to take it back.”

You did try, and you decided you do not like freakishly strong guys. “Whatever… what about you? How was your class?”

“Didn’t go today…” Gunwook trails off, glancing down at your linked arms. A habit after losing Hanbin in crowds one too many times. It feels nice with Gunwook, though. “Um, my roommate—” he clears his throat before he continues looking forward, revealing his red ears. Oh, that’s cute.

“He kept me up late ‘cause he needed help with his film project that he’s been procrastinating. I ended up waking up at like one-thirty…”

“Really? So, you just came straight here after waking up?” You tsk, choosing to look away from his pouted lips for your sake. “Did you even eat? Let’s stop by this café a few blocks away before we rehearse. It opened last month, Hanbin and I were supposed to check it out, but I think he forgot.”

You’re not blind, of course, Gunwook is, well, objectively attractive (subjectively as well, perchance). With much coaxing, you might’ve been able to admit it a week ago when you hated him. But, his attractiveness is far too illuminated when you’re a mere inches from his face; faced with his distractingly pretty brown eyes, and rosy cheeks. Oh God, he’s cute. He’s so fucking cute, and you are so fucking screwed.

Before you can say something so embarrassing you’d have to migrate to another country and assume another identity, you take the initiative to part from Gunwook, carefully backing away, and clearing your throat, “Should we take a break?”

Except that doesn’t even help, because when you sink to the floor to watch YouTube, Gunwook is beside you, smushed at your side to watch whatever you’re watching. You can’t even remember what video you tapped on, but apparently, you’re seven minutes into a video when Gunwook reaches over to pause it.

“Hey, um, one of my friends—his name’s Junhyeon, his frat, Zeta Rho Xi is having a party this weekend. He kinda roped me into going, and I was just wondering if you were free…? I would, um, it’d be cool if you could stop by.”

Parties haven’t been your thing for a long time; you tried to party freshman year, since people seemed to go on about the college parties. You just couldn’t get super into it, plus only things like the Play-Doh incident came from parties… and that’s why you’re not sure why you say, “Yeah, no, I should be free. I’ll check it out.”

You aren't even free, you have an essay you’ve written approximately two sentences for that happens to be due Monday. But the smile on Gunwook’s face makes agreeing feel like the right choice.

Immediately upon stepping inside, you remember why you hate parties. One, you lose Hanbin instantly. Two, trying to push through a bunch of sweaty, drunk people (who are surprisingly sturdy) is a pain in the ass. And three, it’s loud, you already feel like you need a drink. Or maybe three.

You manage to make it to a mostly empty kitchen, and at that point, you’ve lost any motivation to go search for Hanbin or even Gunwook. For the most part, you’ve given up caring about being ‘lame’, so, you’re perfectly content sitting in the kitchen on your phone at a party while sipping on possibly the worst quality beer you’ve tasted in your twenty years of life.

It’s maybe thirty minutes until you finally look up from your phone at the call of your name over the ear-damaging volume of music.

Hanbin stumbles into the kitchen, using Gunwook as support. You can make out your friend’s flushed cheeks, even in the dim lighting, you have no idea how he’s gotten drunk so fast. “There you are! I found Gunwookie, it looked like he was waitin’ around for you, ‘cause he was just in a corner lookin’ around… didn’t you guys exchange numbers?”

“I already told you I forgot to ask…” Gunwook mumbles.

“Oh,” Hanbin lets go of Gunwook to slide up beside you, “Hey, did you know that, um—” Gunwook rushes over to slap a hand over Hanbin’s mouth, are they both drunk? It’s more difficult to tell with Gunwook, his cheeks always look pink…

Hanbin removes Gunwook’s hand with a glare, “Don’t interrupt me,” he chides, as sternly as he can while drunk. “Anyway, ‘m so glad you two figured things out. I hope Gunwook tells you about his massive heart boner for you.”

Hanbin makes it probably ten times worse by continuing, “He’s—he’s had such a big crush on you since like, um, since like the millisecond he joined the team. But this whole time you thought he was mean to you, isn’t that silly?”

What isn’t silly is the look on Gunwook’s face, he looks positively mortified.

“...Okay, Bin, I think you’re ready to go home already,” you smile tersely, side-stepping the topic for now, maybe forever actually. “Gunwook, can you help me with him?” You ignore Hanbin’s slurred protests. It must take a moment for Gunwook to recoup before he’s at Hanbin’s other side, helping you pull the drunkard up.

You avoid looking in Gunwook’s direction, despite the fact you can feel him burning holes into the side of your head. Of course, there’s no avoiding the conversation—inevitably, you’re going to have to talk to Gunwook about what Hanbin said, but maybe you can get out of it tonight…?

It’s not that you’re particularly afraid… okay, well, you are, except it’s just unnecessary anxiety. Now you feel better about admitting to yourself that you’re interested in Gunwook. But what if Hanbin’s drunk rambling was just drunk rambling, and it was all nonsense? Well, Gunwook probably wouldn’t seem so nervous if that were the case, but maybe he’s nervous because he just doesn’t want you to be under the impression that he—

“Oh, hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for Hanbin…”

“Oh, Hao, hey.” you mentally thank Hao for unknowingly rescuing you from spiraling into your annoyingly irrational train of thought.

“Do you want me to take him off your hands? We were planning to ditch before he disappeared.”

Okay, time to put on your big person pants and be an adult. “Yeah, thanks.” Handing Hanbin off is pretty easy, the man completely unbothered that he’s thrown two of his protégés for a loop (he’ll probably feel a lot worse about it tomorrow, especially when he’s hungover). What’s less easy, is being left with Gunwook.

“Well, since Hanbin aired everything out…”

“Right, yeah. We should talk, maybe outside?”

Gunwook nods, leading the way to the back door, you follow closely behind him. As not to lose him in the clusters of people, and maybe just because you want to, you grab onto his arm.

Outside, your eardrums thank you for finally getting out of there, though your nervous heart is another story, rattling against your ribcage incessantly. Warily, you avoid looking at Gunwook, distancing yourself a good few feet away from him, “So…”

“I like you,” Gunwook blurts as if he won’t get another chance to say so, “like a lot. I initially joined the team ‘cause of you actually, I hadn’t even danced since middle school. But you were so—watching you on stage at orientation felt so… enchanting.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks at Gunwook’s flattery, and he only continues, “I thought you were perfect, so obviously I immediately signed up for the dance team, even though I wasn’t even sure if I was any good at it anymore, just so I could have an excuse to see you. Only for me to never gain the courage to even talk to you…” Staring at the wooden planks of the porch beneath your feet, you see Gunwook’s beaten-up Converse come into view, urging you to look up again.

“Gunwook, I—”

“It’s okay if you don’t feel anything like that for me, I just can’t let the what-ifs get in the way of me trying anymore.” Oh, how could you not feel something for him? Surely anyone could fall for him just by staring into his pretty brown eyes.

The weird feeling in your gut, which must be those butterflies people talk about, amplifies, you think you’d have to be a fool if you didn’t feel something for Gunwook Park. “I don’t… not feel something,” you hastily avert your gaze, “I guess I’m not entirely sure what it is, but I am interested in you. I, um, would be open to exploring that.”

“I understand—wait, you… really?”

You look up in time to see the overjoyed grin split Gunwook’s lips. It’s infectious, you can’t help but mirror his smile, laugh tumbling past your lips, “Yes, you dork. You better sweep me off my feet.” You playfully shove at his shoulder.

“I will,” Gunwook grabs your wrist before you drop your arm, thumbing at the inside of it, “are you free tomorrow?”

“I…” You aren’t free, remember that pesky essay of yours? “Yeah, I am.” Oh, well, you suppose it can wait; likely until tomorrow night, when you finally open your laptop at eleven-thirty at night, when it happens to be due at midnight. You happen to work great under pressure!

“Perfect, can I pick you up at your place at two?”

“Sure, are you gonna remember to ask for my number this time, though?” You tease, making a ‘give me’ motion with your free hand.

Gunwook’s cheeks somehow get pinker, as he finally lets go of your wrist and retrieves his phone from his pocket, handing it over with the new contact screen open. Quickly, you type in your number and then your name, cheekily adding a heart beside it.

“Can I walk you home? Or, uh, if you wanted to go back to the party, that’s fine too…”

“Nah,” you’d rather do just about anything else than go back into that mess, you’ve had enough parties for the rest of your college life, “I’m pretty tired, and I have a super important date with a great guy tomorrow.”

With a coy smile to match Gunwook’s shy one, you cozy up to his side and link arms with him, “Let’s go?”

You’d still consider dancing to be a great way to unwind—still one of your favorites, it's just been demoted to second place.

Nothing ebbs away your stress like Gunwook popping into your room with your favorite food after you’ve been staring at your laptop screen for hours as if you were hoping your assignments would finish themselves. Or his hugs—always so warm, it’s like hugging an oversized stuffed bear. Or just… him.

Unrivaled after several years, dancing has finally met its match: Gunwook Park.

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vampiretendencies · 1 year

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for my mental wellbeing PLS PLS PLS PLS write dad to be jj again

i beg of you. i was literally in a depressive episode and reading ur last jj fic was such a pick-me up. (ps ty for that 😭)

i LOVE u & i hope ur okay love

pairing; dadtobe!jj x pregnant!fem!reader

warnings; fluff, mentions of pregnancy, throwing up, talk of feet if thats a trigger for some, suggestive

authors note; came up with this earlier. hope this helps you, even if it's a little bit.

Hell has frozen over and JJ Maybank is folding laundry.

Really, he's only doing it so he can see the small animal patterned baby socks and the wholesome footy onsies. You'd washed them in preparation, as the nursery is adorned with all things baby, and your due date is to come any day now. Creeping it's way in, however pregnancy has been somewhat of a breeze with JJ at your beck and call.

Even if you are blowing chunks in the morning, he's breaking his rest in bare skin to hold your hair and press kisses to your spine.

"S'okay baby, still so pretty.” Is something along the lines of what he typically says, unbothered by the miraculous bile that ejects from your insides— using the nearest towel to clean you up earnestly and eagerly, he couldn’t fathom his baby appearing so helpless. Carrying your limp body back to bed, in his broad, bulky arms, insisting that you rest and not move a muscle.

He is so overly passionate when it comes to soon to be family.

He’s adapting to being a father, but he’s still the same old JJ.

“Do you think babies know they’re babies?”

You sat beside him on the fluffed out couch, nose crinkled in a manner of ‘what the hell are you talking about now’. JJ awaits your answer, absentmindedly folding a small pair of new born pants. The clothes basket is about half way full now and it’s taken him an hour to simply get that done, admiring the baby clothes and dreaming of when he gets to swallow the child whole with his enamoured ways.

“What, JJ?” You sighed exasperatedly, his antics peeling beneath your skin as he’s been doing this the lot of the time being seated here. Though he’s folding laundry his finger tips still find their way to your inner thigh, squeezing at the flesh with ease. Unable to go through extended periods of time without the proximity of your fiery being.

Always touching, explains the reasoning behind you being pregnant.

“Like what if our baby thinks-“

“JJ …” he knows he’s irked those pregnant hormones a bit too far from the rolling of your eyes and the way you keep saying JJ in protest for him to ‘stop talking about something so overly stupid’. Usually there’s so much patience in your voice when a ‘J’ rolls off your tongue calling his name. “I don’t know what you’re talking about … my fuckin’ feet hurt, my head is pounding, and I feel like a Goddamn whale.”

JJ eyes bulge, gesturing his hands in a surrendering way for he knows that any little thing that agitates you in the slightest will send you over the edge— breaking closer and closer to being dilated and in a hospital room. But, he never holds it against you, acknowledging that you mean no harm, merely in aching pain every growing hour.

Kind of like a shut up while you’re ahead sort of thing.

“Sexiest Goddamn whale I've ever seen," he tries to compliment, throwing a onesie to the side, the darting of your eyes makes the mischievous smirk on his face grow all the more wider.

There's always an urge of neediness behind every smirk.

His index finger traces your cheek bone to gain your full attention rather then the slim phone in your hands, a pout is beginning to form and it's making JJ's heart burst.

"M'not in the mood J, my belly's just gonna' get in the way."

"Never, your belly would make it even better ... but that's not the route I was taking baby, let me show you, yeah?"

And you nod willingly letting him take the pain away. JJ's dropping to his knees, keeping your complaint in mind that your 'fuckin' feet hurt.' Though your eyebrows furrow, you decided not to question, wishfully hoping for his contact despite it.

Pushing the throw blanket that was in your lap to the side, he puckers his lips around your knee. Practically worshipping the legs in front of him. Peering up at you with sensuous eyes, short-lived as he molds his mouth with the skin of your calves, granting each and every inch of skin with solicitous osculating kisses. Delicate with the way his large hands hold them upright to meet his mouth. Suctioning and delving all he could possibly reach.

"Thank you for carrying our sweet baby."

His voice sent goosebumps, vibrations of his heavy voice elevating to the point of you not being unable to muster a 'you're welcome' or 'of course'. Instead, your head falls back to collide with the couch cushion, eyes closing. Relishing in every empyrean like movement your lover ignited; heaven bled through every sullen kiss.

It came to a halt and know he's kneading your feet, oh so soft, lathered thick of a vanilla musked lotion. From the big toe to the heel his knuckles massage the foot, almost melting the swelling away like clockwork.

"Feel better, baby?"

"Feels so much better, J."

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yuikomorii · 7 months

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Heya! In which of the boys route do you think Yui was broken/hurt the most?

I always wanted to know which would be the worst scenario (route) for like.. an avarage girl irl . I know most girls would not survive there😅 but just wanted to know your opinion which of those 6 doors you would never open. Or 13 if we count all the characters.

// Since it's an otome game, it goes without saying that there will be a lot of plot armor and that the love interests can't really harm the heroine seriously throughout the route, regardless of what she does, because the plot would go nowhere like that. Most characters are jerks but not really that hard to handle, since they were known for scaring Yui rather than letting her get genuinely hurt. However there were certain Diaboys who were very scary, as it felt like they had no feelings of remorse or empathy.

Laito:

Can’t say that his HDB route is the worst thing Rejet has ever written (because it’s definitely not) but it baffled me how he was so okay with Yui breaking like that to the point where she lost all her will to live and only wanted to be set free from him. I mean, she literally tried to commit and he was just there not even intending to stop her bleeding veins despite being the one who cut them?? It’s true that in the Vampire Ending she doesn’t turn out that bad but after all, this is just because it’s fiction.

Kanato:

He was easier to understand than Laito because at least you were able to know that he had a soft spot for sweets and Teddy. Nevertheless, it was a bit too much how he kept stabbing Yui with the fork and a few chapters later, I’m pretty sure he stabbed Yui with a knife in more places as well. Still, it’s surprising how she turned out worse in his route, considering the fact that in the afterstory she kills innocent people—

Kou:

I love Kou but he was a literal demon in MB. I really hated how he made his fans bully Yui JUST FOR FUN. It wasn’t even any sort of punishment, he merely wanted to make her suffer. Another thing I couldn’t stand was how he kept putting Yui’s life in danger, only to make her prove her love. I understand wanting to test someone but it would have been way better if he actually saved Yui after seeing her do something dangerous. That way it would have proved that he cared for her yet he continued to watch her get hurt for him over and over again, without feeling any empathy. He was sorta redeemed at the end but yeah, most of his route was big yikes, especially since you wouldn’t have expected a cheerful and friendly idol like him to be such a wicked person.

Carla:

I like the Tsukinami family's desire to preserve their lineage but sorry, I must say that I find it repulsive that a 17-year-old would be forced to become pregnant out of the blue with strangers. I understand that Yui was partially to blame for Carla's anger and subsequent dungeon scene but that moment grossed me out sooo bad. She lost her will to live but Carla literally jumped on a depressed girl and was on the verge of rap€ing her, if his Endzeit didn’t kick in. He gets gradually better throughout his route but this scene left a sore taste in my mouth.

Kino:

Look, Kino is a great villain and a lot of fun, but his LE route was trash. Kino killed a child, mistreated Yui, abducted both Yui and Ayato, planned to sell Ayato to the church for execution, manipulated Yui and tortured Ayato. The pain he caused them both was immense and although I appreciated Yui calling him out, it's so sad that she was brainwashed. While it's true that Kino can be quite cute when he wants to, their romance was so rushed and forced because they didn't give us any reason why Yui would fall for him other than manipulation when Ayato, who was seen to care more about her than for himself, was right there. I wish they developed Kino’s feelings better, given that he straight up blackmailed Yui to become his, otherwise Ayato would had been killed, therefore Yui had no other choice but accept the situation. That’s why his CL route is way better.

I only mentioned 5 instead of 6 but that’s mostly because no other character came closer to them in terms of bad scenario. The rest of them felt decent in their routes for a game called Diabolik Lovers, lol.

#admin

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stardewstardropthoughts · 1 year

Note

Could you do how the bachelors would react to you opening up about your selfharm scars?☺️

Yeah for sure! This one’s gonna be below this cut simply because it can be triggering for some people, a reminder for you all, I love you! Remember to drink some water, have a snack and take your meds if you have them! 💙

Content warnings: talks of self harm and mental health, gender neutral reader

The bachelors react to reader opening up about their self harm scars

Harvey:

Has your doctor, he’s absolutely concerned about your mental health and how your doing

Has your partner? He’s extra extra concerned

Asks how old they are, how well you took care of them, how your doing now

Will offer to set you up with a therapist if you want to see one but won’t force you to

Even if Theyer pretty old he’ll probably keep an eye on you a bit more now just so he can catch any warning signs of slipping back into those dark thoughts and places

He’s very soft spoken when asking his questions though, he doesn’t want you to feel as though you’ve done something wrong and he’s certainly not trying to scold you

He’s very sad that you had once felt the need to do this but coming from a medical stand point he does understand why people often turn down that route

High key tears up at the thought of you hurting yourself in the past though

He just loves you and wants you to be safe and know that you can talk to him about anything, he won’t judge

Sam:

Catch this man sobbing honestly, he doesn’t wanna do that infront of you though because he doesn’t want you to feel responsible for his emotions

He asks a lot of questions so he can understand why you felt the need to do that, what things were happening in your life, what you do now if you get those intrusive thoughts clawing their way back into your mind

Asks if you want him to set you up an appointment with Harvey to get a recommendation for a therapist

Respects your wishes if you don’t want to see a therapist of course

Will also keep a close eye on you for the next little while, he wants to be there for you if you need him and he wants you to know you can rely on him

Elliott:

He’s confused mostly, and sad that you would have come to a point in life where you had felt the need to harm yourself

Would ask about it, has gently has he can in a soft voice to avoid making you anxious

The type to kiss your scars I think but only if your comfortable with it

Helps you make a little journal to write all your thoughts into if you want one

Always available to listen to you even if it’s three in the morning

Snuggles and cuddles galore

Shane:

He’s a little upset, not at you of course! He could never be upset at you for feeling so hurt in the past that you hurt yourself

He’s upset that something in life made you feel that way and that you felt you didn’t have many other options to turn to

He understands completely seeing has his form of self harm was alcoholism

He’s a little upset at himself for not having noticed sooner, he wants to be a shoulder for you to cry on, be the same rock for you that you are for him

He doesn’t think they make you any less perfect to him, your still his whole world

He wishes you had met when you were younger so he could have known the struggles you went through a bit better, he knows it might not have changed the outcome but he would have had a better understanding

Long cuddle session after, encourages you to share whatever information your comfortable sharing with him about your coping skills and how you manage any lingering thoughts and doubts

Sebastian:

He’s not unfamiliar with dark thoughts and depression but he’s never personally turned down the road of hurting himself

That being said he does understand why people do, but he would never have thought that the source of so much joy for him could have experienced such a hard life

Listens carefully while you talk being sure to soak up all the details you give him

Asks how old they are and how long it’s been since and if you’ve had any thoughts of doing it again

When you assure him Theyer old and you haven’t had any thoughts like that recently he sticks a star sticker on your arm, it reads “interstellar job!”

He thought it would be motivational and make you laugh a little bit

High key will start a sticker collection for you so on days where your having a particularly tough time he’ll put a new sticker on your jacket or something for a little bit of a pick me up

Alex:

He’s very worried, he doesn’t want you to be hurting or hurting yourself

His minds racing a million miles a minute with so many questions

He doesn’t have a great understanding of the darker side of mental illness since they didn’t teach about it to much in school

And he mostly threw himself into his workouts after moving in with his grandparents so he’s never really delt with these thoughts himself

He’s so willing to learn though so he can help you to the best of his abilities

Wants you to know you can lean on him and he’s there for you whenever you need him

Asks how long it’s been, what your coping mechanisms are, how you would want him to help and if your still getting those intrusive thoughts and feelings

Makes sure you know he’s not upset at you while you explain everything to him

He loves you and he just wants you to be safe

#stardew fanfic #stardew valley #stardew farmer #stardew x reader #stardew headcanon #stardew marriage #stardew elliott #stardew harvey #stardew shane #stardew sam #stardew alex #stardew sebastian

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godeaterazathoth · 11 months

Text

Issues I have with ikevamp

That I’m venting here because they won’t leave my skull

*Content warning, we’re talking about men in the past, they did some bad stuff*

Part 1, historical inaccuracies

I’m I history nut so this really gets to me, since I know the deep details of these peoples lives.

The timeline, ok so the game takes place in 18th France, correct me if I’m wrong but I think it is in the second empire (1852-1870) considered there is a noble class, yet you can clearly see the Eiffel Tower which was completed in 1889, there is no mention of the 1889 exposition, so it must be after the tower had become permanent, by then the 3rd republic was around, if we are in the republic the Count wouldn’t be called that by the npcs at all the parties he goes to, no matter which we’re in, NOBODY mentions Napoleon III at, NOT EVAN HIS UNCLE (WHOSE SOMEHOW BECAME CASS CONSCIOUS!)

How does the time travel work, example, Dazai died in 1948, his plan was seemingly to wait until he’s born in 1909 then kill himself as a baby, but then he decides to use the magic door, what are the consequences of 2 Dazais existing at once or him erasing himself from history, he’s a pretty important literary figure, does someone else replace him or does the space time continuum collapse?? Is the future Vlad sees set in stone or can it be changed, just copy someone else’s time travel bit!!!

So straight up these guys aren’t who they say they are, we’ll go through 1 by 1

Napoleon- doesn’t mention he left the love of his life to marry a girl 20 years his junior (like think how interesting it would be if he’s conflicted about love cuz he had to give it up for political reasons) -that scene where MC talks about all the ‘good’ that he did in Europe, like committing war crimes against the Spanish and Portuguese and Eastern Europeans, being a coloniser, killing the slaves he freed when they asked for more rights, killing thousands of men in a meaningless war (ligit H*tler vibes)

Arthur- goofy irl, literally believed in fairies, had 5 children and married twice but he never mentions any of this, he cheated on his first wife while she was dying of TB, he was a liberal unionist (tldr didn’t like Irish people) he was anti-immigration, might have committed fraud. We’ll get to the other issues I have with him.

Leonardo- fruity as hell, vegetarian

Mozart- they got his character completely wrong, the guy was a complete man child, vain, broke, by the end of his life his career fell off (Beethoven better composer), in love with his cousin 🤢, had a s*at fetish 🤢🤢🤢. The hole Salieri thing didn’t happen.

Vincent- they made him too mentally stable, I’m all for him being meek, but the guy had serious issues that they ignore, he ate paint thinner, was rejected by his both crushes, WHY DOES HE HAVE BOTH EARS, DID IT GROW BACK, THEY SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIM WITH ONLY ONE, also he should be ginger smh. Oh yeah and they never mentioned the s*ecide attempt.

Theo- doesn’t mention his wife, or son, WHO HE NAMED AFTER VINCENT, his wife is the person responsible for Vincent’s work not being completely forgotten, was way nicer irl.

Issac- tbh hotter irl, low key ace, maybe a fruit, kinda mean, the only thing they got right was the major virgin vibes.

Jean- WHY MAN!??!! Even if the didn’t want a lesbian route, they could have gone with any other guy from the 100 years war, Edward black prince, idk WHY GENDER BEND ONE OF THE MOST PROMINENT WOMEN IN HISTORY, I’m fine with the delusional trans dude lie, but they say that he was a guy all along, THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HIM BEING BURNT AT THE STAKE IF HE WASN’T CROSS DRESSING???!!! was he double cross dressing??? This is the worst of them all, give me the girl boss we deserve (revers fate)

Dazai- not depressed enough imo, he was a leftist, again missing wife, their were two su*ecide attempts, guy lived through fire bombing, had a few children that he is fine to erase from existence.

Shakespeare- probably a fruit, again never mentioned his wife and kids, btw the way he talks is annoying, some people don’t think he’s real.

Faust- NOT A REAL PERSON.

Sanson- too young, this guys is 67, really liked the guillotine, just saw execution as his job didn’t really care, had a wife and kids.

Vlad- Ok is he supposed to be Vlad THE impaler? Cuz he’s not evil enough, or is he a Dracula reference, cuz he can’t dance that dance either, why did they call him Vlad if he isn’t a blood thirsty war criminal.

Count- not enough history to work with.

Part 2, problematic moments

So I ha have seen some posts on the low key misogynistic way the MC is written and treated and there are a lot of issues wit white washing history so another trigger warning ⚠️

Misogyny- the MC of this game is not the best, I know she’s a self insert but she has no backbone at all. She lacks agency I’m most of the routes, like the MC getting kidnapped is a troupe in all these games, but Emma can escape on her own, Kate has ⚽️, even Alice had more depth to her, seems the only thing MC can do is cry and wait to be saved, I swear she gets kidnapped once in every route, I think they could have given her more character to work with. Another thing, but Jean being a man is bad, really bad, she’s a feminist icon but they made her a man, it’s sought of saying that women aren’t capable of this so she had to have actually been a man.

Handling of SA, important one here, I’m ok with the flirty guy, but I really hate Arthur, he doesn’t just flirt with her in chapter 1 he assaults her and acts like he did her a service, and she just forgives him!?! I’m fine with a guy that sleeps around, I like Jin and Nokto fine, but the way Arthur talks about women, always calling them Birds (if they were going for English slang it doesn’t work cuz he doesn’t have a cockney accent) or worse Skirts, it’s dehumanising, and shows that to him women are vehicles for sexual pleasure and aren’t on an equal level of understanding. There are smaller parts to, Leo kisses her without consent, the Count hides the truth from her, idk but Theo calling her a ‘hound’ sounds like he’s calling her something else…

Minor points on classism, I’m not expecting the communist manifesto, but all these games aren’t very good at dealing with class deviation. In Vlad’s route, the orphan boy thinks he can impress the rich girl, this is the 19th century, capitalism is on the rise, but there’s no comment about how it’s impossible. The little school Napoleons runs is strange, considering he was in a position where benefited from poor people existing and staying poor, ( side note, he’s teaching them swordsmanship when ww1 is right around the corner, just saying they won’t need it in the military) called MC out as a social climber, these games sought of depict the past through rosé tinted glasses, there’s only passing reference to how fucked people were in the past, Also all the historical inaccuracies above tie to this.

Anyway love to hear some other opinions, (I started playing this game before my transition and have always thought it it was wired, it’s my personal least favourite just cuz I couldn’t really get into any of the guys, my OC ended up as a Carmilla reference so….)

I have seen a post talking about some of the issues before so that’s what got me to write this out, if you disagree or want to add anything I’m all ears 👂

Thanks for reading 💗💖💖💕💓💝💗🥰🥰🥰❤️✨✨✨✨❤️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikepri #ikevil #ikerev #ikemen series

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a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten · 2 months

Text

SequenceShift Character Relationships

Don't worry, I still haven't given up on this AU yet. Even if it ain't popular, I do very much enjoy making content for it and seeing the same 5 folks like and reblog it. You guys are awesome! Now, I kinda just randomly selected a handful, so if there's others you wanna see (or maybe details I missed), lemme know!

Chujin and Ceroba

Ah yes, it's not an Undertale Yellow AU if our favorites foxes aren't divorced, huh? In all seriousness, Chujin and Ceroba met pretty much exactly as they did in UTY, with Ceroba being the one who proposed marriage to him. Things were going find, until a certain incident led to Kanako getting attack. After the creation of the Amalgams and Kanako's (presumed) death, Chujin was horrified with what he'd done and wanted to entirely pull the plug on Project Integrity, but Ceroba wanted to keep it going, entirely bent on her promise to bring back Fallen Monsters to life. This led to their falling out, and Chujin leaving the Imperial City with a handful of his followers.

Ceroba was understanding as to why Chujin didn't want to see her anymore and let him leave in peace. Unlike Asgore, she does know he's living out in the Remnants and of the Colony's existence. However, she allows them to live peacefully and undisturbed as long as they don't cause any problems. Chujin also doesn't hate Ceroba to the same degree that Tori hates Asgore, so there is a possibility for them to reunite, but they aren't exactly yearning to leap into eachother's arms.

Ceroba and Dina

Like I said earlier, Ceroba, Starlo, and Dina were a part of a childhood friend trio. It started pretty simple, with Princess Ceroba befriending two commoner kids who each had parents working for the Royal Family. As they grew older, Dina actually did develop feelings for Ceroba, but she knew Starlo was very much into the Roba, too, so she put aside her own feelings for his sake (yeah, didn't work out too well, but still).

Dina remained the humble bartender for a while until Kanako's assassination attempt. After seeing Ceroba spiral into depression, she volunteered to join the newly formed Royal Rangers. Of her companions, she was the one who was closest with the Empress, talking to her and comforting her when need be. She also took on the Royal Executioner role so that Ceroba wouldn't have to go through the pain of having to take a life with her own hands. Worth noting Dina's feelings for Ceroba have resurged by this time, but she doesn't want to make a move just yet. Though that might change in a True Pacifist Route... Sorry Chujin and Starlo

Moray and Mooch

Both of these two have had their troubles, especially considering the Wild East Massacre. Mooch had it particularly rough, as it left her with a fuckton of anxiety, which she hides beneath her 'gremlin' persona, as I call it. The more Clover kills, the more that side comes out. Moray tries to hide it, but they've also been hurt pretty bad by the Massacre. This has led them and Mooch to become really close with eachother, especially after the Feisty Five broke up as a friend group, so these two really only have eachother by the start.

They do have something of an older-younger sibling type relationship, where Mooch's chaotic nature and kleptomania contrasts with Morays more orderly side, but at the end of the day, they very much care for one another. Also worth noting that they both fight Clover in Lakeside at the same time.

Starlo and Kit

This basically started after Martlet requested Starlo to look into a strange monster sighting within the Barrens, thus leading him to encounter the usually elusive Kit. The two started talking and formed something of a friendship with one another. It's worth noting that Starlo doesn't know that Kit is Kanako, nor does he know that she's an Amalgam (in fact, he doesn't even know what an Amalgam is. Ceroba and Martlet are pretty tight lipped on that subject).

They aren't super close friends either. Kit is very reclusive and unwilling to share more about herself. Their conversations haven't really gone beyond simple small talk. Besides, she only really talks to him when he sees her (which he does have pretty damn good perception). Now Starlo does have a sort of funny feeling when it comes to Kit and maybe even almost able to put the pieces together, but given his role as Captain of the Rangers, he hasn't really had time to look into it.

#undertale #undertale yellow #undertale au #undertale sequenceshift au #uty chujin #uty ceroba #uty dina #uty moray #uty mooch #uty starlo

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cherryrainn · 1 year

Text

the perfect pair {onceler x reader}

.2| 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫 |

warning; s3lf harm, self-hatred, depression, mental health issues, etc, and A LOT OF ANGST!!

wattpad ver

song to play while reading if you'd like that i think matches this chapter

part before

next part

you stirred from your slumber as the faint buzzing of your phone invaded the peaceful morning air. with groggy eyes and a slight stretch, you reached out and grasped the device, bringing it closer to your face. as you swiped to accept the incoming call, a familiar voice washed over you, instantly drawing your attention and dispelling any remnants of drowsiness.

with a sleepy voice, you answered the call, feeling a spark of energy surge through you at the sound of his warm and friendly tone. "good morning," onceler greeted, his voice wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. "you must have been tired last night. i didn't wake you up, did I?" you couldn't help but chuckle softly, the sound carrying a mix of amusement and contentment. "kinda... it's okay. it's early, but i'm feeling pretty refreshed now."

"great, i'm glad to hear that," he replied, his voice filled with a sense of genuine happiness. "so, are you up for a little chat today?" you let out a contented grunt, a mix of agreement and a pleasant stretch escaping your lips. "of course. what is it that you wanted to talk about?" you asked, eagerly awaiting his response, curious to see where the conversation would lead.

"well, i was thinking you should come over now," onceler suggested eagerly, his voice carrying a hint of excitement. "get some fresh air, exercise, that sort of thing. i was thinking we could go for a walk. the area i live in has some really pretty trees." you nodded, the idea of being outside and surrounded by nature appealing to you. "yeah, huh? sure. i'll be there soon after i finish getting dressed," you replied, feeling a surge of motivation to start the day with a purpose.

onceler proceeded to give you detailed directions to his place, and you listened attentively, mentally mapping out the route in your mind. hanging up the phone, you couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation and joy bubble within you. having a scheduled activity with someone who genuinely wanted your company brought a much-needed spark to your day.

with a renewed sense of energy, you rose from your bed and turned on the television, filling the background with familiar noise as you prepared a quick meal of ramen. savoring the warm noodles and slurping the savory broth, you felt a comforting sense of nourishment both physically and emotionally. as you finished your meal, you moved about your apartment, tidying up and putting on your shoes, readying yourself for the outing ahead.

keys in hand, you took a final look around your familiar surroundings, locking the door behind you. the anticipation of meeting onceler and embarking on this adventure together filled your heart with a mix of excitement and curiosity. the day held promises of discovery and shared experiences, and you couldn't wait to step outside and embrace the possibilities that lay ahead.

eager anticipation coursed through your veins as you stepped out into the cool morning air. inhaling deeply, you felt the refreshing breeze invigorate your senses, awakening you to the world outside. each step you took along the sidewalk, the gravel beneath your shoes emitted a satisfying crunch, marking your progress towards your destination.

as you arrived at the designated spot, a gasp escaped your lips involuntarily. the scenery before you unfolded in breathtaking beauty, just as onceler had described. the trees stood tall and proud, their branches adorned with vibrant and whimsical leaves, creating a kaleidoscope of colors against the backdrop of the light blue sky. it truly felt like stepping into a fairytale, where imagination and reality intertwined seamlessly.

your gaze meandered across the landscape, taking in the enchanting sight. but then, your attention was captured by a peculiar sight—a lone tree stump standing amidst the grandeur. frowning, you examined the rocks scattered around it. how could anyone cut down such a lovely thing?

"y/n!" a familiar voice called out, causing you to turn and search for its source. your eyes landed on onceler, who was waving enthusiastically in your direction. with a smile, you made your way over to him, reciprocating the wave.

"you weren't lying when you called this place pretty," you remarked as you reached his side, taking in the breathtaking scenery around you.

"yeah, it is. i could stay here forever. this place is beautiful," onceler replied, his eyes sparkling with genuine awe and admiration. you nodded in agreement, appreciating his shared sentiment.

just as you were about to continue your conversation, a voice suddenly called "who's this!?", causing you to turn in surprise. searching for the source of the voice, you found no one in sight, until you heard a snap. "down here, toots," the voice chimed in again. you looked down to find an unusual sight—a small orange creature with a yellow mustache standing before you.

"what the hell?" you exclaimed, taken aback by the unexpected presence of this peculiar being. glancing at onceler, you noticed his awkward smile, which indicated that he was well acquainted with this colorful character. "i said, who's this? are you friends with beanpole?" the creature inquired, his voice filled with curiosity. a soft chuckle escaped your lips at the playful nickname he had given onceler. "uh... yes! i am, matter of fact," you replied, extending a friendly smile.

introducing yourself as y/n, you braced yourself for more questioning from the eccentric creature. "you aren't here to cut down any trees, are ya?" he interrogated, a hint of suspicion in his voice. feeling a surge of defensiveness, you quickly reassured him, "no way! of course not!" satisfied with your response, the creature nodded approvingly. "okay then, i'm the lorax, guardian of the trees," he proclaimed, asserting his role. he made clear that if you were planning to stay in this area, he would keep a close eye on you. with that, the lorax turned around, striding away towards a log where he settled down.

"well..." you turned to onceler, standing right next to you. "you live here, right? have you always been here, or...?" you tilted your head curiously, eager to learn more about his background.

"nope! i just moved here," onceler replied with a cheerful smile, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "and i'm workin' on selling something called... a thneed! come with me, and i'll show you!" his enthusiasm was contagious, and you eagerly followed him towards his cozy home, curious to see what this mysterious thneed was all about.

once inside, onceler proudly presented his creation to you. the thneed lay before you, a versatile and peculiar-looking item. "oh...! what does it do?" you inquired, your confusion evident.

"ohoho! it'll change the world, y/n!" onceler exclaimed, his voice filled with pride. "it has a million uses! it can be worn as a swimsuit and used to clean floors!" he swiftly demonstrated its floor-cleaning abilities, skillfully removing a dirt spot with the thneed in hand.

"a-a-ah! but wait, there's more!" onceler continued, his excitement growing. "the thneed is extremely absorbent due to its all-natural microfibers!" he proceeded to showcase its absorbency by plunging the thneed into a cup of water, you watched it effortlessly soak up every single drop.

"and... it also works as a hat!" onceler exclaimed, playfully tossing the thneed onto your head. you quickly yanked the wet thing off, chuckling at the unexpected moment. "wow... that's really cool, onceler!" you exclaimed, genuinely impressed by the ingenuity and versatility of his creation.

it took you a moment to process the revelation that the fabric of the thneed was sourced from the truffula trees. you looked at onceler, feeling stunned by the realization. "did you... cut down a tree to make this?" you asked.

onceler nodded, acknowledging his past actions. "i did," he admitted, his expression displaying remorse. sensing your concern, he quickly added, "but hey, hey, hey! that was a one-time thing! i've learned my lesson, and i'll never do it again."

you let out a sigh of relief, appreciating his change of heart. "oh, alright then..." you responded, grateful that he understood the importance of preserving the natural world.

curiosity sparked within you as you pondered the future of onceler's venture. "when are you gonna start selling?" you inquired, genuinely interested in seeing his plans come to fruition.

"soon, I hope," onceler replied, a glimmer of anticipation in his eyes. he sat down on his bed and patted the space next to him, inviting you to join. understanding the unspoken invitation, you took a seat beside him, finding comfort in his presence.

his enthusiasm couldn't be contained as he leaned closer, sharing his thoughts eagerly. "hey, do you work?" he asked, his voice filled with anticipation.

you shook your head, indicating that you didn't currently have a job. observing his widening smile, you couldn't help but feel a sense of hope emanating from him. "well... i know we just met and all, but i really believe this is gonna take off! and when it does, let's, like... work together!" he proposed, his words filled with genuine excitement.

you glanced at him, taking a moment to consider his proposition. lost in your thoughts, you looked down at your hands, a frown forming on your face. "are you crazy? onceler, we barely know each-"

he cut you off, taking your hands in excitement "yeah, duh! but, who cares! it's fun, you have nothing to do, you don't work so we can just hang out.. like, for a while!"

a wave of uncertainty washed over you as you questioned whether it was the right decision to embark on this journey with someone you had just met. you didn't want to burden onceler with your own struggles and disappointments in life. sighing softly, you felt a sense of sadness enveloping you.

"i'm really sorry, onceler, but i'm just not sure about this..." you confessed, your voice tinged with a hint of regret. you looked up at him, hoping he would understand your hesitations.

his face fell, and the sight of his disappointment tugged at your heartstrings. in that moment, you couldn't bear to see him so upset. "actually, i change my mind. i'm down," you declared, definitely not being down. his confusion was evident as he questioned your sudden change of heart. "what?" he asked, seeking clarification.

you shook your head, a smile breaking through the doubt. "i mean, i'm in. i'm in. let's do this," you affirmed, a newfound sense of optimism blooming within you. the thought of embarking on this adventure together filled you with a mixture of anticipation and hope.

the expression on onceler's face shifted from confusion to joy, and he couldn't contain his excitement. he jumped up and pulled you into a tight hug, momentarily catching you off guard. flinching slightly, you became aware of the self-inflicted wounds on your body, reminders of your coping mechanisms during difficult times.

day after day, week after week, and month after month, your friendship with onceler blossomed, you two were basically the bestest of friends now. he proved to be a kind and caring person, always showing genuine interest in your life and asking thoughtful questions. it felt both comforting and unsettling to have someone care about you in such a way. after years of feeling isolated and unimportant, the idea of being valued by someone else seemed odd to you.

sitting under a majestic truffula tree, you found comfort from the pouring rain. the droplets cascaded from the leaves above, creating a soothing melody as they hit the ground. the world around you was enveloped in a serene tranquility, as if time had momentarily paused.

as you sat there, your mind wandered, contemplating the complexity of your emotions. while onceler's friendship brought joy and warmth to your life, there was a lingering doubt within you. the notion of someone caring for you so deeply didn't align with your previous experiences and self-perception. it felt almost unnatural, as if it couldn't possibly be true.

lost in your thoughts, you gazed into the rain-soaked surroundings, grateful for this moment of solitude. the absence of any visible presence, including the lorax, onceler, and the barbaloots allowed you to reflect on your journey and the changes that had taken place. it was just you, the towering truffula trees swaying in the wind, and the gentle patter of raindrops against the leaves.

the rain continued to pour, soaking your clothes and drenching your hair, but you didn't mind. the cool droplets mingled with the tears that welled up in your eyes, a mix of gratitude and uncertainty.

"hey!" you hear the lorax's voice call out, and you frantically search for its source. eventually, you spot him perched on a branch above, his bright orange figure contrasting against the gray sky. following his pointed finger, you see a log nearby, and he invites you to sit. with a heavy sigh, you comply, seeking comfort in the presence of this curious creature.

"what're y' doin' out here, kid? it's cold, wet, n' gray," the lorax questions, concern evident in his voice. you lower your gaze, feeling a mix of vulnerability and relief in his directness. "i wanted to be alone," you admit softly, allowing yourself to be honest with this unlikely confidant.

the lorax hops off the tree and joins you on the log, his small stature emphasized in contrast to your own. he looks at you intently, his bushy eyebrows furrowed in genuine concern. "you look... down. somethin' wrong? beanpole do somethin' to ya?" he asks, referring to onceler. with a shake of your head, you clarify, "no, it's not him. It's just... everything. i'm scared, you know? scared that good things won't happen. i'm tired of the constant struggle, of feeling... bad. it's like i don't even like myself, and i can't imagine anyone else genuinely liking me either."

as you speak your truth, the weight of your emotions becomes palpable. the lorax remains silent for a moment, seemingly processing your words. his wise eyes, hidden behind his bushy mustache, convey understanding beyond his years. he reaches a small hand out and pats your knee gently, a gesture of compassion that offers solace amidst your turmoil.

"kid, i understand. it ain't easy," the lorax begins, his voice gentle yet filled with conviction. "but listen here, you're not alone in this. life can be tough, no doubt about it, but you're stronger than you think. sometimes, the nicest things come from the unlikeliest of places, and maybe, just maybe, the same goes for people."

his words hang in the air, resonating within your troubled heart. there's a glimmer of hope in his wisdom, a possibility that amidst the grayness, there exists a spectrum of colors waiting to be discovered. the lorax leans back against the log, a quiet strength emanating from him.

"y'know, i've seen this world change. i've seen trees fall and new ones grow. i've seen people come together t' make a difference," he shares, his voice filled with both nostalgia and determination. "Aand maybe, just maybe, you can make a difference too. start by believing in yourself. start by being kind to yourself. the rest will follow."

you take a deep breath, absorbing the lorax's words like a soothing balm to your wounded spirit.

the lorax's hand finds its way to your shoulder, providing a comforting squeeze. "whatever it is, kiddo, we'll get through it together. i'm here for you, and so is beanpole, and so are all the little guys running around this place," he reassures you, his observant eyes catch a glimpse of your hidden emotions, and he senses there is more left unsaid. without hesitation, he gently grips your shoulders, his concern evident in his furrowed brow.

"is there anythin' else you wanna tell me?" he inquires, his tone gentle yet persistent. you shake your head, a mix of hesitation and longing in your eyes. while there's much you yearn to share, now is not the time. his shoulders slump slightly, his expression reflecting a tinge of disappointment. "you don't gotta tell me nothin'. i'm sorry, kid," he sighs, his voice tinged with regret. "don't worry about it," you offer him a reassuring smile, appreciating his understanding and respecting your boundaries.

"let's change the topic, let's talk about the boy you met, those couple of months ago," the lorax suggests with a mischievous grin, redirecting the conversation towards a lighter subject. you can't help but blush at his prompt, feeling a mixture of excitement and uncertainty swirl within you. "onceler?" you confirm, seeking clarification, and the lorax nods affirmatively. "yeah, whatcha' think about him? y' like him?" he playfully probes.

your cheeks flush deeper, betraying your fondness for the subject at hand. "i... i don't know. he's a really sweet guy, and he's so interesting to talk to. we can spend hours chatting," you confess, a genuine warmth seeping into your voice. "but, he's also incredibly cute, and he has this infectious smile. but, he's just so... tall! i mean, i feel like a tiny speck around him," you chuckle, realizing the comical contrast in size between you and onceler. the lorax joins in your laughter, his joviality contagious. "i feel ya. it sounds like you're in love, y/n. yhe way you just spoke about him... adorable," he teases, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

your blush deepens, and you playfully protest, "can we not talk about this anymore? me and him are just friends okay? nothing more." the lorax smirks, thoroughly enjoying his playful role in the conversation. "nope, not until ya' tell me how much ya' love him," he quips, delighting in your blush. you release a heartfelt sigh, uncertain about the complexity of your emotions. love? were you really in love? the question swirls in your mind, intermingling with insecurities and self-doubt. after all, how could you love someone else when you struggled to love yourself?

#the onceler #greedler #the greedler #the lorax #reader insert #x reader #onceler x reader #greedler x reader #angst #fluff #mental health #tw s3lf harm #romance #onceler #reader x character #y/n #once-ler #mental health issues

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haircoveredwriter · 7 months

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This was kicking around in my head and it’s but no means up to fic publishing quality, but this is how I could manage to get it put together until my muse wants to not hate everything I write. I will also note I do NOT have any practice writing in script-style and thus know it’s fully of inaccuracies to what is correct. This is purely just my own spec (plus some of @freefromthecocoon ).

Rescue My Heart (1 of ?)

Day. Inside Genet’s office at Maison Mère.

A lingering, dark shadow looms despite the clear daylight just outside. The building has been overturned, furniture and paper strewn throughout the halls. Random walker corpses in various states of “newness” navigate the speed bumps of body parts and blood - some of them obvious Pouvoir soldiers and party guests who never made it home.

Carol stands behind the heavy oak desk, a familiar crossbow slung over her shoulder as she stares intently at the open file folder in front. A flurry of emotions play behind her eyes as we pan around, stopping behind her, the papers below covered with handwritten lists in French - she scans annotations up and down the margins before she stops dead on the name near the end of the list.

DIXON.

Flashback. Carol’s CW apartment.

Carol throws supplies into the awaiting bag on the edge of the bed, her anxious energy clear in her frantic movements back and forth across the room. Frustration reaching its peak and bunched garments slam into the lopsided sack. Daryl’s voice rings distant, her eyes closing from the overwhelming unrest.

Daryl: “I’ll be there in about a week. I promise.”

Her eyes spring open again in the desolate office, fingers pressed lightly to words that are only ink but act like an anchor to her heart. The hopefulness which carried her across an ocean exudes from her lungs at the same time her breath stifles beneath unsettled hesitation; she pushes through, searching the papers once more for anything useful, coming upon maps marked with pen-traced routes and quickly shoves them inside the breast of her jacket. In the background her travelling companion, Ash, puts down a walker; the limp vessel crumpling in the middle of the doorway, a bare flit of acknowledgment coming from her briefly raised head as he enters.

Ash: We need to go. There’s a large group of rotters in the tunnels, and with a place this size there’s bound to be more.

Carol offers another small nod, dedicated to completing the mission she’s set forth in her mind. Almost vacant. The flurry of papers dance across the tabletop, two drawers underneath groaning as she yanks them open until the room falls silent when the bottom drops out of her heart.

It’s then we see the tape recorder nestled against a wooden corner. Propped up. Waiting to be found. Her world turns upside down while reality stays still; time continuing its constant progression as her movements stop & stall, a looping broken record of her hands - now clasped around cold plastic - while she can’t bring herself to press buttons. Afraid of what she might hear, what she might learn … things she has to know, needs to know but may kill her just the same. The depressive clunk of the toggle resounds, static following momentarily until a recited speech begins.

Daryl: My name is Daryl Dixon…

Carol audibly gasps, strangling the oncoming tears which line her eyes with a mixture of relief and sadness.

Flashback. Commonwealth, early evening.

Carol sits in the communication centre in front of the radio.

Carol: Yeah, you know, pretty quiet here.

Daryl: Quiet’s good. You okay?

Carol: Yeah, just takes some getting used to, that’s all.

She pauses, expression falling slightly as she toys with the twine bracelet on her wrist. The corners of her lips lifting though there’s a distinct despondency to her face. A shadowed figure then becomes visible at the edge of frame but just offscreen.

Daryl: You sure you’re okay?

She won’t burden him with her issues while he’s so far away, not after she told him he should go. She puts away her emotions as best she can, knowing how perceptive he is to any slight change.

Carol: You never have to worry about me, Daryl.

The floor creaks and she turns her attention, finding Dwight leaning against the wall just inside the room. She’s clearly unsettled yet not surprised, continuing with her conversation while trying to decipher how long the living memory has been listening in. She pauses again to collect her thoughts, all the while maintaining eye contact with Dwight.

Carol: Hey, Daryl.

Daryl: Yeah.

Carol: Dwight came back.

The crackle of the broken transmission intersperses with every half word she can make out Daryl saying. Her repeated attempts to regain their connection melt into the endless static and her shoulders slump as she finally gives in. Crestfallen. There’s a long , weighted silence.

Dwight: You really think me showing up again is that important to him?

Carol: It’s not about important. Daryl makes his own decisions, we don’t hide anything from each other.

He pushes off the wall to upright, shuffled movements trying to impart he’s not warranting any caution.

Dwight: Look, I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but seemed to me his mind was focused on something else.

Her expression grows serious. She moves away from the desk to leave a few feet between them.

Carol: You don’t know anything about Daryl or me. I don’t know what you’ve been through since you left, you might have changed … we all have and I’m glad you found your wife. I am, but don’t for a second think you can come here and tell me things you haven’t the slightest idea about.

Dwight fights back a small chuckle.

Dwight: You might tell each other everything but you’re lying to yourself. Daryl gave me another shot back then, saw something I was trying to hide even from myself and I wouldn’t be where I am without that. Have what I’ve got. So I guess I’m trying to return the favour, because I’ve been “here”.

As Dwight exits Carol’s breaths are visible through the rise and fall of her chest. She’s shaken yet won’t let herself succumb to it, the various what ifs of the past and what could be play behind her eyes until the screen fades to black.

Ash: Carol? Hey-

The view of Maison Mere springs to life again. Carol gives herself a mental shake, finding Ash mere inches away and a bewildered concern across his features. The deathly growls having grown louder, signalling their impending arrival and Ash reaches a hand to her shoulder.

Ash: You okay?

Carol nods feverishly, tucking the recorder into jacket before they both carefully head for the halls. The camera focuses on Carol as she scans the corner for danger, the recited speech continuing while we watch them move down the dim corridor.

Daryl: If I don’t make it back, I want them to know I tried. Hell, I’m still trying.

#caryl #caryl positivity #caryl speculation #caryl fic #carol peletier #daryl dixon #carol and daryl #carol loves daryl #daryl loves carol #twd: daryl dixon #tboc #the book of carol #Spotify

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bluepeachstudios · 1 year

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GitS Asks!

It's all good ;P and no, not yet! He's been trying, especially with Ghost sleeping a lot more recently, but he has not yet succeeded. The problem is that Ghost can hear Don prepping the tagging gun.

Oh yeah. He regrets it a lot. Especially when Leo goes "well if you hadn't LEFT-" all dramatically. Leo's half-joking, but it really does just. Stab Ghost with guilt. He wishes he'd been strong enough to stay with them when they were younger. He could've helped Splinter a lot more, and they wouldn't have such abandonment issues now.

Ghost enjoys the absolute chaos coming from them even though he would never listen to this kind of music itself. Technically spoilers, but the boys don't actually tell Ghost that they're going to perform at Albeartoland. It's a very secret thing. Can you imagine the heart attack that man would have? It'd be insane.

He does. This is exactly why he printed out the pictures.

He's still a bit stubborn about it, but Ghost can get him to cave and admit fault pretty quickly.

Ghost has met them both! Dr. Delicate Touch he appreciates. It lets Mikey get out his anger, even though there's definitely kinder ways to put things, but Mikey generally pulls Dr. DT out when he's needed. Dr. Feelings, Ghost always gently puts his hands on his shoulders and tells him thank you for the reminders, but Mikey doesn't need to be the family therapist. He can help by being a little brother. Ghost will help them if they're having problems, as best he can, and they can talk about it as a family.

Mikey asks who's going to help Ghost with his problems, and Ghost just rubs his head and changes the subject.

Maybe one day Splinter accidentally leaves the manhole cover off as he's sneaking out for supplies. Maybe the kids followed him. Maybe Ghost is in the Hidden City, too far from his way home to get to them fast enough before they leave the safety net of his cameras.

He doesn't know what happened. He just knows that he finds only Mikey, hidden tucked away beneath a dumpster inside of his shell. Ghost pulls him out and coaxes him out and Mikey bawls and tells him that Leo and Raph and Donnie were taken by somebody.

Ghost takes Mikey back to the lair and is waiting there when Splinter arrives. There's a bit of panicking and yelling between the two. Splinter's scared Ghost has hurt his children, Ghost is angry at Splinter for being so careless. So begins Ghost's hunt.

Raph isn't easy to find, but he is the first purely because he's still on the surface. The EPF has him, and Ghost has been hunting for mentions of the EPF since he first saw youkai. He's never found any, but following what happened to the kids via camera shows Donnie and Leo being taken into the Hidden City while Raph was basically sold by a yokai in disguise to the EPF. It's been two months already.

Ghost doesn't use guns, but it's the first time he really thinks about it. Unlike usual, he has no plan. Instead, he goes in, mystic ability blazing out of pure rage and desperation. He finds Raph in a small cage, muzzled and whimpering in fear until he recognizes Ghost. Ghost gets the muzzle off, gets him out of there. Kills Bishop for good measure with Raph tucked into his cloak so he can't see.

He doesn't find Donnie for a year since they were grabbed. He doesn't have the power of technology in the Hidden City like he does above-ground. He gets him out of there. Leaves the Battle Nexus in ruins and Big Mama very dead.

Leo is with Draxum. Draxum is finding out he's terrible with kids. Leo is causing chaos wherever he goes. Draxum is fine with giving Leo back to be raised. He'll come back for him, though.

(I realized how long this was getting halfway through and went the more silly route with Leo fhgdkjfgdh)

Raph: may I present to you.... peepaw Brothers: cheering wildly Ghost: =.=

Surprise child you get gay depression instead!

These are fun thoughts fhgdkjfgh

Ah yes, approved and added fhgkdjf

Ghost can tell he's got self-worth issues. He doesn't approach it head-on, instead he's just trying to gentle push Leo in the right direction. He knows being a teenager is rough. Especially with how their lives are. But he also doesn't want Leo wallowing in that mindset for too long.

=================================

drainiandream asked:

It suddenly just hit me rereading chapter 27 that Ghost actually holds himself to a much higher standard than he does his own Splinter, even in hindsight. Like he always speaks about his own father in the highest esteem, and clearly doesn’t hold any blame or resentment toward him for “letting” them lose a good chunk of their childhoods to fighting otherworldly threats. Despite how much it clearly hurts him, he’s never entertained the idea that 03 Splinter was at fault for any of it (as he shouldn’t, tbh! 03 Splinter is fucking phenomenal in terms of parenting in any series with kid/teenaged heroes that have one present. I can’t actually think of another cartoon in general that had an informed parent in the loop that still did everything he could to protect them/wasn’t weirdly okay with child endangerment due to cartoon logic) And yet despite him clearly understanding this about his own father (or at the very least not allowing himself to look back critically on the people he’s lost), he clearly thinks he should be able to do better. The one unwavering thing about Ghost is his desire to keep the boys as just kids enjoying kid things. He’s still trying to hold onto that hope that he can do it even now, despite the piling warning signs that he’s in over his head (they all are). He blames himself when the kids worry about him or get into trouble he can’t prevent. Unfortunately for him, it’s a universal constant that the reason they become heroes/save the world is simply because they’re the only ones who can. It’s honestly a really interesting and potentially painful realization, if he ever has it. He resembles his father so much without even realizing it, and is going through the exact same emotional struggle 03 Splinter did during the series. Hell, it’s probably the one common ground (besides love for their sons) that he and Rise Splinter will have now as things get progressively more dangerous. I just. Man Ghost’s Splinter would be so proud of him today and no one in the Riseverse can even tell him that.

Ghost is incredibly hard on himself. He's depressed! He's got anxiety! Spending 24 years alone meant that all those bad thoughts were never interrupted. Everything negative he ever thought of himself was never interrupted, it just compounded on itself over and over until it was no longer a bad thought to him but the truth.

03 Splinter would be so proud of his son. He would be sad he never tried to reach out for company in a world where he could have (in the Hidden City) when they came from a world where they couldn't. He'd be sad that Ghost is torturing himself when it wasn't his fault.

Rise Splinter's the only one who could tell Ghost that his father would be proud of him, but coming from Splinter, it feels cruel. So Splinter says nothing, and Ghost continues to punish himself.

HEHEHEEE I'm glad you enjoyed it!! :D It's still so wild to me that people talk about GitS in real life. Or like. Not to me? Like this is a weird thought process I know but hear me out; the fact that people like something of mine enough to talk about it to their friends or partners or family is insane. Like. Holy shit. You're spending time and energy to talk about something that I spent time and energy making??? w i l d.

#asks #gits ask

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daybringersol · 8 months

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i think the reason that i love william wisp so much is that hes literally me when i was younger, like back when i was depressed, self-hating and refused to try cuz i was scared. i felt hollow, like there wasnt any personality left under that pain. at some point, the idea of getting better felt terrifying to me, cuz i didnt know what id find under all the pain and trauma, if there was even anything left under there.

// JRWI prime defenders S2 EP39 spoilers, tw for psychosis, derealisation and dissociation mentions

with this new era of william wisp, i wouldnt be surprised if I ended up relating to him even more. I think theres a lot of directions he could go towards, personality-wise, and even if he ends up not going the same route as me, i know that the idea itself of having to find yourself after so long spent hiding is gonna resonate with me no matter what.

another thing i find interesting is that i also got that moment when i realised that everything i wanted was at my fingertips, which was the catalyst for me eventually getting better. it was during my psychosis, this friend of mine (who i held in very high regards) ended up telling me off, i dont remember for what exactly (psychosis does funny things to your brain) but it was something related to me not trying to get better. they said something that triggered my derealisation, which of course, sent me into a derealisation/dissociation spiral for some months, and basically straight to rock bottom. of course, i wouldnt recommend that you do that for your friends who are going through similar stuff, im pretty sure i could have died multiple times back then, but in the end, its what pulled me through to where im at now.

i dont remember everything, but basically, the thought process was : nothing is real, its all made up in my head, so theres nothing stopping me from imagining a world where im happy and living in it. i wrote a poem about it, not my best work for obvious reasons, but theres still something to it i think. here :

I want to see tomorrow

I’ve been wishing my whole life for the strength to say "I'm doing great!" when someone ask me how I am

I've always had that strength

I can just say it

It's just 4 words

Doing

Great

Easy, see?

It doesn't matter if it's false

Or if the tone of my voice was off

Or if the way my eyes naturally met the ground as soon as you entered the room

It doesn't matter

So what, if I'm lying?

In a fraction of second, I might not be lying anymore

In a fraction of second, I won't be lying

I've been making planets and universes in my head since I could think

I never thought of making one where I was happy

Why should it matter if it's only in my head

My head is real, it's right there

And in the end, all the other stuff too was in my head

I can trust you

I can have friends

I can be myself

I can have my body back

I can be beautiful

Inside and out

I choose what is true and what is not

It doesn't matter if I'm lying to you

It doesn't matter if I'm lying to myself

In the end, we could be both only in my head

It wouldn't matter

So yeah

I want to see tomorrow

Even if it's raining and even if I don't even notice it's raining

I'll just close my eyes, and I'll have everything I've always wanted

so yea ! even if of course the superpower thing and coming back to life thing isnt very realistic, as a metaphor, williams story makes complete sense. i felt dead, back then. and i truly feel like a different person now.

and im looking forward to see where the story takes him in the future !

#jrwi show #jrwi podcast #jrwi prime defenders #solsthoughts #jrwi william #william wisp #jrwi spoilers #tw psychosis #tw derealization #tw dissociation

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familyvideostevie · 2 years

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love ur work babe!! 💖

just wondering if you’d consider my steve x reader prompt? basically it’s just steve going to surprise mc while she’s at university and her gleefully introducing him to her school friends. but then once they find out about where steve works they get kinda elitist. like say they’re getting dinner and he excuses himself to the bathroom and overhears them saying mc could do better and has such a loser boyfriend. cue steve being depressed and tryna “better” himself to prove worthy of mc. ofc, she finally finds out what happened and instantly comforts him 🥺🥺

thanks for the request, my love! i'm sorry it took so long (i made this extra long to make up for it!). we've got some sweetness, a little angst, and more sweetness! | 2.2k, fem!reader

"I'm so tired but I think I did well on all of them," you say to Steve over the phone. "Although philosophy was really hard." You've just finished your first round of college exams and are sat on your dorm bed, the phone chord twirling around your finger.

"Obviously you did, babe. You're the one with the brain in this relationship," he says, his voice deep and smooth across the miles. Little do you know, Steve's already forming a plan in his mind. He wants to drive up to buy you dinner and give you a kiss and be home before midnight so you don't get in trouble.

"Steve," you scold him. "Don't say that. I don't even know if this is for me yet! I could be back in Hawkins tomorrow."

"Yeah, well," he ignores you. He knows you have big dreams and he's all for you chasing them. "Are you gonna celebrate at all? Got any friends to go out with?"

"Some girls from my study group asked me to go to dinner. But honestly, Steve, I wish you were here and we could just watch a movie or something." Your voice goes soft as you admit it to him. "Miss you."

"Miss you too, pretty girl." He sighs, but his mind is going a mile a minute. No way he's not gonna see you as soon as he can when you say sweet shit like that. "Take a nap or something, and maybe call me tomorrow?"

"Okay. Can we plan a visit soon?" You're hedging a little, because you know Steve, and you can almost hear him thinking through the phone.

"Name the day. I'll be there! Love you," he says.

Just a few minutes later Steve sits in the front seat of his car, fingers drumming on the steering wheel as he flips through the atlas in his lap. He's buzzing a little at the thought of seeing you in just a few hours, hoping that he can make it up to your campus before dinner. It's just a few hundred miles away, and he hasn't seen you since he dropped you off like, over a month ago. His overnight bag is in the backseat just in case, but even just a few minutes would be enough for him.

"I'm so pathetic," he mutters to himself and tosses the atlas aside, route figured out, though he's smiling. "Christ." He pulls out of his driveway and heads north.

The drive is smooth and Steve rolls into campus early evening, having hit no traffic. He remembers where your dorm is and parks around the corner. As it happens, you're sitting on a bench in front of the building, pretty as anything. His chest swells just looking at you, and as if you sense him, you look up. The smile on your face is well worth the few hours he's driven.

"Steve?" you call. It's not a total surprise -- there was something in his voice on the phone that made you almost ask him to come up right away. You jump up from the bench and he jogs down the path to you. It feels like you're in a movie as you throw your arms around his neck and he picks you up and spins you in circle.

"Surprise," he mumbles into your hair, taking a deep inhale of you. You smell like generic detergent and perfume, but it's familiar underneath both of those. You smell like you. Steve wonders if he can ask for one of your shirts to bring back with him.

"Let me look at you, baby," you say to him, giddy. He sets you down and you drink him in, head to toe. Hair a mess, brown eyes warm and excited, face a little flushed. Pretty, as Steve always manages to be. His blue jacket and those jeans that make his ass look incredible. He's your boyfriend and he's here.

"College looks good on you, damn!" he laughs. "Your head is totally bigger from all the studying." You roll your eyes at him but tilt your face up for a kiss. He meets you halfway, bringing a hand to your jaw to deepen it without making it unfit for the public space you're in. You've missed this, dreamed about it.

"Thanks for coming, Stevie," you whisper into the space between you when he pulls away. He pecks you one more time before snaking his hand down your arm to string your fingers together.

"Anytime, baby, like I said. Can I crash your dinner ? I'll be sure to turn on the charm." You nod, eager to introduce him to the girls in your study group. You try not to talk about Steve too much, but you've got a picture of you two in your wallet and some up on your walls.

"I'm waiting for them now, they'll be here any minute! But, Steve, I don't know them very well, so I'm not sure if I want to be friends with them--"

"Hey!" comes a voice from behind you. You turn around and see the girls walking up. You send Steve a tentative smile and he squeezes your hand before flicking his hair back and smiling wide.

"Ladies!" he calls. "Room for one more in your plans?" They look at each other then back at the two of you and smile.

"This is Steve, my boyfriend," you say. He surges forward to shake their hands as they introduce themselves.

"We've heard a little bit about you," the one called Laura says. "How sweet of you to come over!"

"Are you at school nearby? I hope you didn't have to come far," says the other. Her name is Maureen, she tells him

"Ah, no," he shrugs, still smiling. "I live in Hawkins, where we're from. I just drove up to surprise my girl." The pair look at each other again, having a brief silent conversation that makes your brows furrow and Steve stand up a bit straighter, but he figures it's nothing to worry about. He's just happy to see you.

The four of you walk a few blocks to a corner restaurant and slide into a wooden booth. Steve's thigh presses tight against yours, like he wants to take every opportunity to be close to you while he can. He listens to the three of you chatter about your exams, the next unit in class, and you all order some sodas and sandwiches. When they arrive, the conversation shifts to him. Your hand comes down to rest on his knee.

"So, Steve," says Laura. "Tell us about you."

"Oh, yeah, well, I live in Hawkins," he says, casually. "College isn't really for me, so I work at a store in town." He can feel you looking at him, feel your thumb running back and forth over his jeans on his leg. Suddenly this feels like a job interview.

"That's interesting," says Maureen. "Do you have any...future plans? Goals? Stuff like that?" You turn to look at her when she says it, not sure what she's getting at. Steve works hard, and he's built a community around him that you can't wait to return to after you figure your life out a little bit.

"Well, I'm saving up for an apartment. Can't live at home forever," he laughs. You're proud of him for that -- getting out of his parent's sphere is something he needs.

"Oh!" The girls smile at him before turning back to you to talk about something school related. Steve feels kind of strange, like he's missing something that's right in front of him. He picks at his sandwich, not hungry anymore, before getting up to go to the bathroom.

As soon as he's gone, Maureen and Laura pounce on you.

"You could really do better, honey," Laura whispers. "He's nice, and he's cute, but he's not like us."

"There are so many guys here with ambition! College boys who could show you the world!" Maureen adds, picking at her nails. "You don't have to stick with Mr. High School forever."

You're quiet for a second, but you're seething with anger. Part of you thinks they're trying to be friendly, but most of you is mad that they look at Steve and see something lacking. You knew you'd meet some snobs in school -- Nancy had warned you about that -- but this was something else. They're coming after Steve, the best person you know.

"I love him," you say quietly. "And he loves me." They look like they want to argue with you but Steve returns to the table. He doesn't sit as close to you and you notice immediately, sending him a confused look he ignores.

"Well, ladies," he smiles, something false and strained in your eyes, "I got the bill already, so we're free to go." Maureen and Laura thank him politely before you spill out of the restaurant onto the street, the early fall evening having faded into dusk.

"We're going to go for a walk, guys. See you later!" you tell the girls before spiriting Steve away from them without another word of goodbye. You steer him up the sidewalk towards an ice cream place, looping your arm through his. His false smile is gone and he's quiet. What changed to rob him of his good mood?

"Stevie, hey," you murmur. "You okay?" He sighs. His head is a mess, but he doesn't want to make you upset.

"Yeah. I... just hear me out for a sec, okay?" He stops you walking and turns, taking back his arm to tuck his hands in his pockets. "I know this place is bigger than anything I've done. And you're doing big things, and you might outgrow me --"

"Woah," you interrupt him. "I'm gonna stop you right there." Then it clicks -- what the girls said to you at dinner. "Is this about what those girls said to me? Did you hear that?" You can't help but let your volume rise. You're not yelling at him, but the idea that those girls made him feel like he had to say these things to you makes your blood boil again.

"I did, but listen," he sighs, rocking back on his heels. "I love you. So much, I love you so much. But damn, that hurt. And I just want to make sure you know I get it if that's what you decide you want. A college guy." He looks so sad, but he's trying to hide it. You surge forward, hands framing his face as you look at him desperately, hungrily.

"Stevie, baby. Sweetheart, you are what I want. You are what's best for me." You're almost shouting, and his eyes widen at the intensity of your tone, hands leaving his pockets to grab your wrists gently. He doesn't like feeling this way, like he's something that can be brushed aside, and you've never made him feel this way. But those girls got under his skin.

"Just made me feel small, I guess. Like I should be better for you. I mean, I work at Family Video." The words feel funny as he says them, like he's never believed them to be something bad before. Your thumbs swipe over his cheeks. The way you're looking at him makes him want to melt.

"You don't have to be worthy of other people, Steve. There is no need to prove yourself, no need to make yourself better to be loved. And I love you. I love you so much." You'd spend the rest of your days telling him so. In fact, you want to.

"I know," he says, quietly. "I know. You've told me all that." He sighs, turning his head to kiss one of your palms. "Love you, college girl. Even if you drop out." He's smirking, but you know he's serious. At least he's joking and looking less like a kicked puppy.

"If I keep striking out and trying to befriend snobby people like them, I just might!" you exclaim. "They're wrong about you, Steve. They don't know a thing about you. They don't know how brave you are, how kind, how caring, how wonderful." His face flushes at your words, so you pivot to stop embarrassing him. "They did say how cute you were, though."

"Damn, I'd hope so!" he laughs. "I'm very cute. Got great pickup lines too."

"Even so, I'm not going to be friends with those girls. They are too snotty for me. They don't know the world outside of this campus!" You're getting even more worked up now, but Steve can't stop thinking how pretty you look, flushed and incensed on his behalf. How he believes everything you've said to him.

"You gotta find the nerds, or something. See if they have a D&D club. I'll get Munson to loan you some shit." He has no idea what he's talking about but you nod along like it's a good idea, already distracted.

"Do you want to sleep in my dorm? I can sneak you in and my roommate is away this weekend." You can't imagine sending him home after this night. You want to hold him. Steve leans in to kiss you, hands moving to cover yours on his face. You try to pour everything you're feeling into him.

"I'll leave real early so you don't get in trouble," he says against your lips. "Won't snore too loud, promise."

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