#yes i'm mostly referring to the little video or whatever the fuck it was of j and j talking about Dean's absence

[lemongrablothbrok]

Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love - Earl's Court 05-24-1975 Part 17

Okay, listen up people, Zep-heads, Jimbert shippers especially, because this video is un-fucking-believable in so many ways, and all of them good ways and I have a lot to say about it, mmkay? To start out, we have the boys coming out to do an encore, and Robert just...reclines on the platform thingy like the decadent demigod he is and eats whatever he's eating while Bonzo, the most laddish member of the group, in a fluffy robe, no less, declares that he finds football to be "a load of bollocks". Robert, almost certainly the most effeminate member of the group (I guess one might be able to argue that Jimmy - with his delicate features and willowy physique and soft speaking voice - might be a little more effeminate, but that's neither here nor there, the point still stands, and that point is that Robert is a pretty pretty princess), stands right up to defend the sport that he's so passionate about (side note: anyone know why he says "soccer" and not "football"? Because I can't think of another British person who calls it that. The first few times I heard him use it, it was during interviews with American interviewers and/or for American TV shows or publications, so I thought it was just for clarity so they know he's not talking about American football, but this is a concert in Britain with, I'm assuming, a mostly British audience. Anyone know why he calls it that?).

The song kicks off with Robert and Jimmy doing, as I referred to a few days ago on a post featuring a gif from this performance, "backwards humping", or, "the bisexual secret handshake". They are so shameless in their weird ass public courtship display that you might just miss seeing Jonesy's beautiful smile in the background (and if you do, take that video back a few seconds and freaking look at that gorgeous smile. You'll thank me later).

When we get to the first chorus, Robert freaking throws one arm around Jimmy's shoulder, pulling him close to share the microphone, and I shit you not, Jimmy's foot pops. And if that weren't enough, Robert pulls away for a second just to look at Jimmy's face and smile, only to pull him in closer again. Get a room, you dorks. Then when the second chorus comes around, they have the stupidest lovesick smiles on their faces, which are so close together they can probably taste each other's breath. Then Jimmy sort of pushes off with this shoulder nudge and one of them (Jimmy, I think? I sounds like Robert, but Robert's already in the middle of a drawn out vocal, so I think it's Jimmy) gives this soft little grunt/sigh/suspiciously sexual sounding noise. They spend a moment doing a short rendition of (I think?) James Brown's "sex machine" (worth noting/remembering here that Led Zeppelin have their own tribute to James Brown in "The Crunge", a song that gives off all the bisexual energy that's considered safe for human consumption), and then...then...

...we get to the theremin segment. The motherfucking theremin segment. The climax, if you will, of this entire performance. The part where Jimmy and Robert have hardcore sex right there on stage, right there in front of their audience, at least half of whom is probably male, and the vast majority of whom at least claim to be heterosexual, since this is the 1970s and there's very real consequences in store if you're a dude who goes around telling people out loud that one of the main reasons you go to Led Zeppelin concerts is to see and hear obscenely beautiful men fuck each other's brains out. Or even admit that you're aware that's just what's going on on that stage. Yes, this is the part where Jimmy does incredible things with his hands and long slender little fingers that make Robert moan and scream like a particularly horny banshee. Look, there's no getting around it. Even before I shipped it, I had to acknowledge (if in kind of a jokey-jokey way) that, wow, Jimmy is really dedicated to seeing how much and how hard he can make Robert cum. And Robert, in turn, is doing everything he can to let Jimmy know just how much and how hard he's cumming. Which is very much, and very hard. Some things to note are the way Robert not only mimics the sounds that the theremin is making, but also some of Jimmy's gestures, like when Jimmy puts both hands up in the air and then we see Robert doing the same. Meanwhile, the rhythm section are doing their thing, John Paul Jones' bassline providing the sort of bow-chicka-wow-wow type soundtrack to this auditory gay porn. Also, around 5:45, you can hear the bass do something that sounds an awful lot like "Achilles' Last Stand", which at this point hasn't been written yet, but that particular riff has been and will be used in concerts for quite a while before ending up in said homoerotic epic.

What really, really gets me about this performance, though, is what happens at around the six minute point, when Jimmy goes to grab his guitar back from offstage and Robert just has this look on his face. He's saying "ooh, ooh," slowly sauntering in Jimmy's direction, looking straight at him, his eyes filled with what can only be described as pure lust. This part isn't for the audience. Most of the audience can't see Robert's face with the direction he's facing, and those that can are too far away to be able to see it. He's not faking this. He's not pretending to be horny or desperate to be provocative, not in the look he's giving Jimmy, anyway. I'm not sure if the look in his eyes here is one that can be faked. Oh no. He feels it.

And then Robert gets back to singing, "Feel a little lonely, in the middle of the night. I need you darlin', to make things alright." And who is he looking directly at as he sings this? Just take a wild guess.

tl;dr: Robert and Jimmy are about as subtle as a rainbow fireworks display spelling out "WE'RE BISEXUAL DISASTERS IN LOVE"

[smeddiemunson]

Ok but that sex tape/interview concept but the writing format being clips from the interview alternating with clips from the sex tape. I'm not 100% sure that it'll read well in written word like it would in actual video format but I do think it could work

Okay so this has been sat in my inbox for a few days and I can fucking see it but I just can’t figure out how to write it. But anyway

It’s a documentary series, limited, maybe three episodes. All about Steve, who he is, his life, all of his controversies. Now this is a very British reference but idk a more global equivalent, it airs at like 11pm on Channel 5, ages after the leak/re-post happens so much that it’s barely ever mentioned when Steve comes up now. He’s made a name for himself doing other things. The series is made because it’ll make money but no one actually watches it.

And under the cut is a bit that I get

Interviewer: Can you describe Steve in one word?

Eddie: One word? I don’t know if I can do only one word.

Interviewer: Just say whatever comes to mind.

Eddie smirks directly at the camera, even though he’d been told not to look at it, to focus on the interviewer.

Eddie: Bitchy. Self-centrered. Vapid. Overconfident but with self-esteem issues you can see from space. A little but dumb but mostly harmless. Cutting. I could go on?

Interviewer: No that’s okay. How do you know Steve?

Eddie: We’re married.

*cut to Steve’s interview*

The interviewer told him how Eddie described him.

Steve: He said that?

Interviewer: Yes.

Steve scoffs. Completely unimpressed.

Steve: We’ve known each other eight years now and that’s all he could come up with. Pathetic.

—

And then I think they would show very tame clips of the sex tape. Everything blurred our or cut off. You can only see Steve’s eyes looking up into the camera, or the shot of Eddie pointing the camera at his own face, smuggest fucking grin, while he fucks into Steve, very clear from the way his body is moving what he’s doing.

The documentary has commentary from all of Steve’s friends, old teachers and acquaintances, Eddie’s band. It positions itself as something that’s trying to get to the bottom of the leak and who would want to do that? Frames a little victim blame-y

But Steve is having a great time. He thinks it’s so funny. And he never gave a fuck about the sex tape leaking. The only part he was embarrassed about was it being a sex tape with Eddie Munson but it led to them becoming friends and then slowly something more, so maybe it’s not the worst thing to ever have happened.

He still hates how often he gets asked to do porn though.

[hollywoodsargeant]

Could you do a sunglasses ranking please?🙏

YES. okay. so this is considering all of the pairs of sunglasses he wears that i am aware of... if there's more. well. i probably just thought they were one of these (or i forgot about them) but logan is a big sunglasses guy (self-proclaimed) like i don't think there is or ever will be a race where he doesn't wear sunglasses at some point. so ofc i have opinions about all of them

i'll put it under. a read more bc this post is excessive. open for logan sunglasses + thoughts

these are p1. i think i have mentioned that these sunglasses specifially are my favorite of is... i don't really know why but they're my personal favorite. and he wears them a pretty decent amount so i see this as a win (also that picture of him in monaco in the polo shirt makes me so stupid thought you should know)

i think i like the. idk what the word is. the little strip above his nose. idk. i don't wear sunglasses man i just have a lot of opinions about them

second place... These. just based on what i've seen i feel like he wears these ones the most. they're the origin of my "i love a man in big ugly sunglasses" bc they are kind of. Large. and for what it's worth i know these are the sunglasses he has in his GQ video where he says he can't live without sunglasses. maybe they are his favorite. who knows

final step of the podium. whatever the fuck these are. i don't think he ever wore them outside of this specific merch shoot? but i like them. maybe i'm just blinded by the fact that i like this merch shoot... that first pic is in like. every single post i've done where someone asks for my favorite logan pics. good one man. FOR REASONS...

this post is about SUNGLASSES sorry. i like these sunglasses. but i'm not entirely convinced they're real

fourth is these! if i have ever referred to these as my least favorite i mean they're my least favorite out of the three pairs of sunglasses i feel like he wears the most. (which is my first and second place + these) but i don't think he's worn these ones in a bit? like both of these photos are from F2. i know he wore them in jeddah two years in a row bc i had a whole thing about them

so not the point. even if he hasn't worn them in a while. not my favs. it's still logan so i will still eat it up but. i prefer the other ones

fifth? fish. i like these pictures. the are definitely a function over fashion thing for once (he has said he like sunglasses bc they're a good fashion statement... like okay... guy who wears the same quarter-zip every race week...) i have only ever seen him wear them when he's on a boat. i doubt he would ever wear these to a race see prior mention of fashion and all his other sunglasses i think are like. expensive. remember when i said i don't wear sunglasses yeah idk

i like the fisherboy in him. happy summer break logan put these sunglasses back on and go fishing thanks

and last i have. whatever these are. mostly at the bottom bc i don't think he's worn them since prema? but also they're kind of a lot. maybe i'm just crazy but i think he looks better in the darker sunglasses than he does these ones... anyways. i think these ones have been retired since f3. replaced. but they're included on this list bc i found this picture in my camera roll

since i did throw this one on the end. i am SURE... there are older pairs of sunglasses he doesn't wear anymore that i missed. my ranking is mostly of those three (which i put 1-2-4) but even above that mostly the top two. i feel like he alternates between those two. but i get irrationally happy when he wears my favorite ones because. Well. they're my favorite...

[foster-the-moths]

If you don't mind, could you give us a tutorial or brief explanation on how you render hair? /nf

YES!! unfortunately i got. very tired after making this so this is only one hair type :( was gonna go into all the different types of hair textures but. i will just have to do that later. also keep in mind i drew this in like. 7 minutes its just a simple guide to get out the basic steps

^i didn't put music in this so. listen to whatever u want while ur watching this (its 6 minutes 40 seconds). also its slightly sped up this isn't real speed

elaboration of each step under read more:

step 0: look at other hair tutorials/pictures of real hair to figure out how light reflects off of them. then completely disregard that and just make things up (this is the best artistic process trust me i do it every day)

step 1: just get out that basic shape. it doesnt have to be anything fancy,

step 2: just fill it in and adjust the shape as needed

step 3: figure out how the hair moves and flows, which parts go out more (highlights), which parts are closer to the head (shadows/base), etc. i highly recommend just looking at pictures of hair online, or taking pictures of your own hair. for coily/curly hair, you just kind of have to do this for each curl/coil. one thing to keep in mind the highlight is in the middle of the curl/coil and the shadows are on the edges (usually). i'll elaborate more on that once i have an actual video for it

step 4: just make it so the edges of the highlights transition a bit more smoothly into the base color. it just helps for later steps tbh. try not to over do it, don't want to completely get rid of the highlight, just soften it

step 5: add more highlights with thinner brush. this should be where the light would bounce off the hair the MOST. i think i forgot to say in the video uhhh add in some base value too. maybe a few shadows. mostly this step is for highlights tho.

step 6: idk what else to put here sorry. ngl just get silly with it

step 7: it is very important to do one stroke per area in this one. do not lift your pen off the screen/tablet/whatever until the little area youre working on is one smooth transparent shade, then move on to the next. idk if i'm explaining this right hopefully this makes sense.

step 8: complete opposite as step seven. make as many strokes as you feel it needs. not TOO many, just enough to get some texture and then some yk? i recommend making a copy of the layer youre working on before doing this so that if you mess something up you can always go back to square one.

also a lot of these steps apply to pretty much any hair type just. in a completely different shape with completely different rules. which is to say its exactly like this but it actually isn't like this at all. which is why i plan on making other videos some day (hopefully) also look up "hair texture chart" it will help you find the words you need to look up good refs

remember: always get silly with it. the only rule to to make things up and change your mind 400 times. bring a 'fuck it, we ball' mentality to your art program that the haters (your brain) really won't like. practice makes perfect and all that, do NOT expect to get something good first try, sometimes i still struggle with drawing hair in a way that i like and just scrap the whole thing. also i'm not kidding about those real hair reference pictures it helps so so much

hope this helped at least a little bit bc i am not good at explaining things 👍

[nocasnocare]

Actors/tptb: *talking about how people must already miss Dean and acting like he’s been gone for 20 years and saying that it’s okay because he won’t be gone too long etc.* *acting like fandom will collapse because the actor is playing Michael instead of Dean*

Meanwhile, Cas fans: *go for months at a time without Cas appearing* *already dealt with Lucifer possessing Cas for almost half a season* *remember the multiple episodes from last season that featured Cas appearing as just a corpse or for like thirty seconds and still counted as full episodes towards Misha’s already limited episode count* *sees Cas promoted as series regular and third lead only to realize he’s still in less than half the episodes and gets little screentime* *watches episodes with Cas only to discover that he does absolutely nothing and appears for 5 minutes or less and is often left out of important scenes/plot points/milestones* *constantly worry every season whether Misha will be brought back the next season* :\\\\\ That....must be terrible.... :\\\\ How will Dean fans survive this travesty? :\\\ We...just.......can’t...........imagine......

[sorenskyhigh]

Ok... this boy in my school that I'm friends with and likes me can speak fucking Korean and it just does something to me. I keep telling myself that 2D boys are better than 3D boys but like I cannot help it (he is from fucking Ireland btw). Anyway, if you get where I'm going with this... Tendou, Aone, Kenma and a character of choice with a spouse who can speak a different language... be creative with the languages queen and go crazy. Also as a scenario :) THANKS BESTIE :)

Ooooo i love this! Yes! I gotchu! Need a reminder of the real good men, FICTIONAL

A s/o Who Speaks Another Language

Includes Tendou Satori, Aone Takanobu, Kozume Kenma, and of course my pick is gonna be Kuroo Tetsurou but just for fun I'm gonna throw in Hanamaki Takahiro

Tendou Satori

Satori loved being in France, the language, like any, was hard to learn. Still, he loved everything about the culture here. You being his language tutor was a big help as well.

Since most all of your conversations were in French, unless you were practicing your Japanese (you wanted to learn it for him), Satori never knew you were fairly fluent in Arabic.

Arabic is one of a few of the most spoken languages in France (next to French of course and contending with Spanish, German and couple of others), so a good many people could speak it but Satori had no idea you could.

The first time he heard you speak it when you were trying to give someone directions.

You both were lounging about in the grass in The Champ de Mars, the Eiffel Tower at your backs.

It was a day off for Satori and he wanted you both to have a fun lunch out. Satori and you had both worked and cooked up a lunch to take with you to eat out in the sunshine.

You both were munching on some food, his long arm around your waist as you leaned into him when a work friend of yours came up to you.

"Hey, y/n, can you give her directions? She's trying to find her hotel I think?"

"Sure," you said, before standing up and engaging her in conversation. Turns out she was trying to find the Pullman hotel, it was known for its great view of the Eiffel Tower.

She was an older women and had no idea how to use her maps on her phone.

You gave her some quick help before she was on her way. Your friend thanked you, telling you they had no idea what to do and were so glad they saw you.

With a goodbye you turned around to join Satori and his eyes were wide in cartoony shock. You chuckle a little.

"What?"

"I didn't know you could speak, well I don't exactly know what language that was but, that was really amazing!" With that he jumped up and wrapped his arms around you , kissing the top of your head incessantly.

"Yeah, there were a lot of people at my old job that couldn't speak French very well so I learned Arabic to help them out."

"Arabic? Is that what that was?" He pulled away to look at you in excitement, his eyebrows shooting to the stars. His smile was wide and ever so slightly crooked.

"Yes," you barely get out through your giggling.

"You sounded so beutiful!" You could practically see the hearts in his eyes as he stared at you.

"Thank you, it's been awhile,-" Satori cut you off before you could dog yourself.

"Oh, my dear Paradise, as always you sound lovely. No matter the language."

He proceeded to quiet your protests of how shit your thought you were in Japanese with a rather passionate kiss.

He always surprised you with these in public. Satori wasn't shy to show affection in public, he just doesn't show it like this much.

You had to stop him when his long fingered and boney hands slowly wrapped themsleves around your ass cheeks.

Aone Takanobu

Nobu never said it, but he loved the German nicknames you gave him.

He truly loved a of them. Like when you call him your Liebling (darling) when you're asking for him to grab you something you can't reach. Then there's Schnucki when he does something cute or sweet, like when he got you something you had been wanting for a long time for your birthday.

All of these and the many more you use are great, but his favorite is when you call him your Knuddelbär. He melts when you refer to him as your cuddly bear.

You tended to use it when, obviously, you two were cuddling. Like tonight. You both were cuddled together in bed, his big, strong arms wrapped around you with his nose firmly planted onto the crown of your head, taking in your scent.

You had your face securely settled into his broad chest. His large heart beating and rumbling through your skull. It was relaxing.

Nobu liked feeling your smaller heart as well. He's such a big guy that, it didn't matter how big you were, he was bigger and absolutely loved it.

You were mostly asleep as you intook a large breath before sighing contentedly. You were barely able to get out a mumbled, "Knuddelbär," before completely passing out.

Nobu was officially awake, his face red as hell, and his mouth stretched into a massive smile as always. He sighed lightly into your scalp as he squeezed his eyes closed.

His arms wrapped around you a little tighter as it always did. His lips barely forming a kiss to place on your head.

Nobu knew he wouldn't be able to sleep for awhile. He just loved it too much.

Kozume Kenma

You played game with Kenma all the time. And he loved it. His absolute favorite thing is when you get angry and start angrily yelling.

You'd always revert to Filipino when you'd get angry. Kenma didn't like seeing you irritated or angry per se. But he did love see you get angry at video games. Of course he wanted to be happy and live happily and comfortably, but he always at the very least, cracked a smile when you'd start angrily yelling about who knows what when something happens in a game.

Like right now. There was a level you both were trying to get through. Kenna kept getting a little behind because he wanted all the extra stuff in the level. You on the other hand were trying to keep the bad guys off his back.

It was always in the same spot. Seven tries now, where you had died and had to restart the level. You were so angry that you kept making smaller and more ridiculous mistakes as you both went on.

Well you had a enough. It started out with gritted teeth mumbles as you about broke your controller from the grip you had on it.

Kenma told you to wait for him but that just angered you more. You wanted to get through this level. Honestly it wasn't even that. You wanted to destroy that mini boss.

The idea consumed your entire being. It needed to be destroyed or you wouldn't be able to sleep or rest.

So you charged forward and were taking it on on your own and, well, you were obliterated, once again.

Your hands shook as you death-grip clenched the controller. Your entire figure was shaking with rage. You were going to explode in three.......two.........one........

Now you were angrily yelling at the game and controller in Filipino. Kenma just sat there, too. Oh-so-calmly was he, with is controller in hand. His back slumped with terri ke posture as his lips lifted ever so slightly into a smile. He tried to hide it, he really did.

Kenma knew all too well what it was like to be in this situation. He had raged on camera definitely more than once for this very same reason.

But he just couldn't help it. You were all worked up and angrily pointing your finger at the screen after you had just as angrily thrown your controller on the couch.

Kenma stood up and very silently pinned your arms against your sides. He looked you straight in the eye for a moment. He liked to see you get angry, but he also knew when you should calm down and relax.

"Puddin'," he said very calmly and quietly. You stopped, smoke practically spewing from your ears. He simply wrapped his arms around you, still holding your arms down. You slowly lifted your arms as much as you could, and hugged him back.

He very lightly kissed you on your cheek before starting to rock you both back and forth. Nothing was said; nothing needed to be said.

Kuroo Tetsurou

Tetsu loved hearing you speak Spanish. He loved learning about the difference in the Spanish spoken in Spain, Mexico, Argentina, Peru, and all the others.

You knew so much about the history of the language and how the culture in each country would change that slang so much. He loved when you would go on long tangents about it.

Tetsu especially loved when you sang in Spanish. His absolute favorite thing is when he get home from work absolutely exhausted and he hears you singing away as you're cleaning, making dinner, in the tub, or whatever it is that you're doing.

For example, on this particular evening, you were taking a much needed soak in the tub. Lovely smelling soaps and a couple of candles to give a nice dim light for a nice calm vibe.

Bubbles tickled your chin as you sang away. The noise echoing slightly against the walls around you. It didn't matter whether you had a magnificent voice, an average one, or a terrible one. You were just enjoying the moment.

You heard the front door handle jangle and knew Tetsu was home. You continued to sing as you heard the door open and close. The shuffle of him replacing his shoes with house slippers skitter down the hall to you.

You hear him coming closer, dropping his suitcase and then haphazardly throwing his suit jacket, more than likely on the back of the couch.

You continued to sing as his steps got closer. Then you heard a shuffle at the doorway. You opened your eyes and looked. There stood Kuroo Tetsurou, his black button up shirt stressed across his chest, his tie dangling around his neck.

He stood against the door frame, eyes closed as he listened to you. His eyes looked tired, the same as his small smile.

You continued to sing. You sang and sang until the end of the song. At the end, Tetsu smiled so happily. He opened his hazel/yellow eye to look at you. His smile quirked into a smirk as he took some tired and lazy steps towards you.

He sat himself on the edge of the tub. "Mmmmmm, my Spanish Siren. Trying to sing me a song to pull me under the depths to have her way with me, then leave my carcass for the sharks." He snorted a little at the end as he gave slow loving strokes to your cheek.

You hmmed in satisfaction before oh so calmly saying," Like this?" With that you grabbed his arm and caught him by surprise, making it easy to tug him into the full tub, water splashing out onto the tiled floors. His loud, raucous laughter as well as yours rang throughout your home.

Hanamaki Takahiro

You are his baby, his sweetheart, his lovely. Hiro loved you so much. Everything about you just amazed him. One of the many things that just amazed him, was how you sounded speaking Italian.

The first time he heard you, he was blown away. Your voice was so sexy, not that it wasn't when you spoke Japanese. There was just something about it though that he found incredible.

Hiro would urge you constantly to speak in Italian and even teach him a little. You spoke it so much that he, naturally, picked things up.

He always tells you that him speaking Italian just did not have the same ring to it as you.

"Kah-"

"Kah-"

"Mirrah-"

"Mirrah-"

"Day-"

"Day-"

"Laetto."

"Raetto."

"See, you've almost got it. Camera de letto. Try again." You say. Hiro had been wanting to learn how to say bedroom in Italian. He was having some troubles but he was surprisingly good with learning it though.

He sighed in slight defeat. "I just can't do it like you do, la mia gioia." He loved referring to you as is 'joy' but in Italian.

"Please, just one more time," you encourage him.

"I think i need a little incentive, la mia gioia," he looked at you with a small sly smirk.

You sigh before turning to him, "Quindi vuoi incentivi? Che ne dici se smetto di aiutarti?" (So you want incentives? How about if I stop helping you?)

"Oh, you sound so sexy," you cut him off with a loud laugh.

Im sorry it took so long to get this out! I've been feeling a little better and have been having actual ambition to write and wanted to do my best! Thank you as always for sending in an ask!!

@kneecapstealingalien @multifandombrainrot @vaniatslover @popcorntime-doodles @i-need-coffee-now-pls @jiheonity @shadowsbutdead @goshikisimp @anothershadeofpink @mestayanon @ghostexhibit @smallmangi @thatfunnysprout @backalley-astrologer @itsallgonnabokayihope @g00s3 @boreateo @weareallhumans123 @lil-mellow-bunbun @strawberrymakki @beelziee @mehreenackerman @taiyahhh @sakusasgerm @cr4z3d-cl0wn @detective-lazy @mainnews32 @turtletris2tumble @oshun22 @syirahtorizawa @wouldsimply31 @sadisticbelle @queenkaye33 @h3nta1t0ast3r

[franken-x]

This isn't a fandom but. characters specifically from vocaloid music videos if that works?

OO YES YES

so I'll be linking the music videos and this is probably gonna be mostly nilfruits focused (we'll see where this goes)

blorbo (top fave) : doc/dr popart

it kinda depends on the day but i uh. i listened to doctorine around like 400 times last year (I don't have the number anymore :pensive:) so def doc

doctorine

(hospitals, suicide, hospital affiliated paraphernalia)

scrunkly (cuteness aggression) : the bellboy

literally look at him. and I had a whole au and everything. i love him he is precious to me and he's living his best life in ironina

haine kleine

(see below for content warnings)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated fave) : oro andalucia

I cannot put into words how much I love this anticapitalist waluigi

he saw capitalism and was like "guess ill die"

ALSO THE FASHION JUST SLAPS. ITS SO UGLY BUT SO GOOD HE DID WHAT MAGICIANS PURE LOVE WAS TRYING TO DO BUT 10000X BETTER also I like the surrealism the references

salvador

(suicide references, eyestrain)

glup shitto (obscure fave): haine

not quite obscure but when I saw him in the background of ironina I was like "oh!!!! the man!!!!!!" haine and kleine is that type of song that you forget about for a few months and then when you listen to it again You listen to it for a week straight

but in terms of who appears in the background of music videos the most technically flurry and welter who have had the most appearances, one outside their actual series (baba yaga silhouettes (0:41)

haine kleine

(flashing, alcohol, depression, choking)

poor little meow meow (pathetic or problematic fave) : Fuck I already said haine he's literally the pinnacle of pathetic man UHHHHH armis?

I stole my name from her she's problematic bc she's a bitch but also I think she should be a pathetic girlboss I love those ppl i hope she's still alive OH BUT ALSO CLAY? definitely the most popular nilfruits character (maybe slightly less than kalmia but ehh) definitely a poor little meow meow

okay honestly most nilfruits mv characters are pathetic little meow meows

ESPECIALLY THE ONES IN SHAMA (which includes winnie schrader it's complicated but if u know miyashita yuu you know winnie)

shama kilmer

(religious trauma, human sexual trafficking, eye trauma, homophobia)

horse plinko (character id like to torment for whatever reason): okay first off fuck gui oakes but that answer is too easy so here's my ranking excluding gui

1. Ai (a mistaken belief of love)

2. Baron (franken X)

3. Haine (haine kleine)

okay so all of these guys are actively going through some shit and being tormented in all their MVs but that little part of my brain is like "it'd be so funny if you made it worse" and that's basically why

a mistaken belief of love

(animal death, suicide, blood, flashing)

franken X

(dysphoria, hospitals, blood, eyestrain)

haine kleine

(flashing, alcohol, depression, choking, honestly it looks like onceler x onceler shit I'm not even joking)

eeby deeby (send them to eeby deeby): strelitzia dude

I think he'd fit in

strelitzia

(eye strain, flashing, the mortifying ordeal of living to serve someone wealthier than you, blood, alcohol)

[magnusgoetia]

Transcript of a Sinner’s Conversation: A Meeting with Caecus

--Begin (In Medias Res)--

Sinner: You kiddin'? Dyin' was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Caecus: There’s nothing you left behind? No family to miss?

Sinner: My family? Fuck 'em, I'd ‘ave hired 'elp to kill 'em already if it meant they'd be dead-dead, and I wouldn't have to spend time wiv 'em down 'ere. It wouldn't be right for me to force this on my friends either, but they'll be 'ere in due time anyway. I can wait.

Caecus: So, you’re expecting your friends to join you here as well. The wait must be awfully lonely.

Sinner: Ah, not really. I’ve made friends while I’m ‘ere. The shit I can do ‘ere is like, fucking magic and with it I can make up for what I lack in a lot of different ways. Just wish I could remember how I ‘ad died.

Caecus: Maybe it’s better not to remember… Not all of us intended to be here, after all.

Sinner: No. No, perhaps it’s best not to remember. I quickly found out that it's not just evil folks that end up here, lots of good folks, plenty of weird ones too. I'm sensing you’re of the “gooder” ones, you radiate...well, it’s 'ard to describe, but I don't sense any hostility from you at the very least, even though you were born ‘ere.

Caecus: How amiable of you. But remember, a birth is just a new beginning of sorts. You couldn’t have been alone since you were… delivered to us.

Sinner: Ah, you’re a poetic type aren’t ya? Anyway, I’ve not made many friends but I do ‘ave a particular fondness for this one clown...me an' 'im seem to 'ave this weird connection wiv each other. Actually, he's more of a jester type, though rather embarrassingly his name escapes me...

Caecus: Are you, by chance, referring to an imp named Blocko?

Sinner: Yeah, don’t surprise me you know ‘im. He seems like the type to ‘ave a particular reputation.

Caecus: That he does, and yet a divine will connects us. I’m being led to believe your intriguing appearance has an even more… intriguing history.

Sinner: Riiiight...Well, you know what they say about skeletons and closets. Though I suppose I ‘ave nothing to hide ‘ere...Well, to put it simply, I was a broken kid. I never got help, and I did... unspeakable things to anyone who ‘ad wronged me—or simply didn't like.

Caecus: Even the purest of souls can be corrupted by another’s sins.

Sinner: Yeah...Well, it's not like I'll stop doin’ what I did while I was alive, with all that murder and hedonism. Though death has a way of humbling some people...In any case, the murders mostly stopped as I grew older. I seemed to have preferred to just traumatise people instead, ruin lives of the people I saw as bad or evil.

Caecus: Then you found a different punishment for those you had judged.

Sinner: I suppose so. A lot of it involved me spying on groups of people. I'd worm my way into the seedy societies that thought they were safe in their little circles and collect dirt on them. Really sick shit too by the way but don’t worry, the hypocrisy wasn’t lost on me either.

Caecus: Oh? You judged yourself a hypocrite yet continued along a path of self-appointed righteousness... Why?

Sinner: I don’t know, maybe a sense of catharsis? A lot of these were people who I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about killing or whatever. Sometimes it was more personal too, there were—still are people I am attached to up there that got hurt, and I took my revenge on them in their place.

Caecus: Ahh, how noble. Fighting for your friends.

Sinner: Yeah, there was this one particular bastard. Actually, there were a few…but…eh, nevermind…this one particular guy who was essentially lying to one of these “friends” and caused them a psychotic breakdown. I didn’t take action right away, but I did end up killing ‘im. Didn’t even bother hiding the fact it was a murder.

Caecus: What made you wait?

Sinner: Money, mostly. It makes the world up there spin, and you need a lot of it to get anything done, right? Well, I ‘ad to wait until I ‘ad enough money to fly to the states on top of all that shit involved in immigratin’. When I settled in, that’s when I made my move on a buncha grudges. This guy was just the first. Moving to the states made my life a lot easier in some ways. Was a lot easier to sleep when I took care of the grudges too.

Caecus: Oh, wow. You must have had remarkable resolve to keep a “grudge” that long… Tell me, did all of them truly deserve it?

Sinner: No, most didn’t, but I am…was, an angry person. I found I was very much capable of venting my anger, to put it mildly, and I was much too young when I had...shall we say...discovered it.

Caecus: Young minds are impressionable.

Sinner: Right, and the fact that I was generally good at getting away with it made me feel just that little bit better about it.

Caecus: So, you exploited that validation to continue justifying your actions. Most sinners in your position never reach awareness...

Sinner: Yeah? I’ll take that as a compliment, but I was totally emotionally disconnected when committing my crimes. Afterwards I pretty much always dealt with conflict. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch. Though I had largely stopped my ways. I’m ‘aving way too much fun down ‘ere, and even though I won’t drag ‘em down here with me, I’d love to have my friends join me eventually.

Caecus: Would they be pleased being here, embrace this existence like you have?

Sinner: I dunno, some of them have a hard enough time as it is with one existence, I doubt they’ll be too happy to find out there’s another waitin’ for ‘em. The others I’d imagine would be quite surprised all the same, being atheists and such, but I reckon they’d come to like it.

Caecus: An existence you cannot escape is itself a prison. Albeit, choosing to enjoy it in spite of that perspective is a marvelous thing. If you could imagine them in your presence, what would you do?

Sinner: Again, I dunno. It’s hard to tell when they’re not here yet but I am somewhat interested in what’ll end up happening should they get here. I dunno if I’ll be able to tell if it’s them even.

Caecus: And how do you dare to enjoy existence now?

Sinner: Well, I’ve been doing everything I’ve ever wanted to do but could never do in life amongst other things. It’s kinda embarrassing, but I played a bunch of video games, so I miss those quite a bit. I’ve found plenty of ways to fill that void though. Some of your movies are pretty sick down ‘ere, and importing goods from the other rings to ‘ere means I don’t miss out…mostly, on their fun too. I just wish I could explore the other rings; I don’t get why us sinners can’t.

Caecus: Decretum is often difficult to understand. However, it would seem a blessing that you’ve been placed with the multifarious company of the pride ring.

Sinner: True enough, whatever that means. There’s a lot of strip clubs, greedy businesses and shit, stuff you think you’d only find in the other rings. Though I think I probably would’ve ended up in wrath if we landed in the rings based on our sins.

Caecus: Most catechisms view wrath as an excessive anger. You strike me as having more control than the average sinner.

Sinner: A lot of people on the surface woulda said the same too, I was and I suppose still am really good at keeping it in check, well, good enough to not make it obvious anyway. Though it’s been a lot tougher down here.

Caecus: This is a realm of collective temptation, after all.

Sinner: My only judge here is myself and perhaps my peers if I let them. I still kill down here, but it’s been in self-defence. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone out of anger yet but let’s just say I’d feel sorry for the poor sod who happened to piss me off on a bad day.

Caecus: You’ve always been your own judge. I suspect the lack of good comparisons for your behavior here has coaxed you further.

Sinner: Actually, I could tell you about the first person I “killed” down here. It was soon after I woke up. I suppose this guy thought it’d be easy—fresh sinner, just in time to be another tally mark on some statistic.

Caecus: A second death, the lake of fire…

Sinner: Uh...yeah, I reacted on instinct and it musta been a sort of “kiss of death” type shit. I only touched the dude with my hand, and he just kinda…shrivelled up and died. You know…like when a cartoon character eats a lemo—ah sorry, you can’t watch TV.

Caecus: Ah, yes… a shrivelling death is nevertheless descriptive.

Sinner: Anyway, I have a bunch of other powers too but that one I’m most afraid of you know? I can drop the ambient temperature of an area so shit gets cold, have some form of telekinesis and a buncha other stuff, like I have some kinda control over this weird glowy energy, it’s how I have my eyes, which are purely for show, I don’t need them since I can see perfectly fine without ‘em...not that you’d know I even have ‘em.

Caecus: I’m aware you observe our world, in a traditional sense. My observations are just a bit more… unorthodox. And I feel as if your fear is not from a lack of understanding.

Sinner: Well I seem to have it under control, but I’m afraid in a moment of weakness I might react without thinking, you know? I’ve not had it happen yet, but it would be so easy when flippin’ out that I just give ‘em the ol’ touch of death.

Caecus: Even a king’s heart is just a stream of water to the hand of… fate.

Sinner: Gonna be honest, I haven’t the foggiest of what you just said. Though if I’m being honest myself, I couldn’t care less if it was someone I didn’t know anyway. Only really care about my friends and such. You seem pretty neat yourself.

Caecus: The impression is mutual. It’s not often that I’m seen as anything other than senseless and intimidating. I don’t find it unwarranted, granted; my appearance is as disconcerting as my psyche.

Sinner: How do you even know what you look like? It’s not like you can just look into a mirror.

Caecus: I was presented with a vision soon before I arrived, my last blessing I suppose… Regardless, my rebirth is a tale for another time. I’ve relished in your company long enough, and I must answer my calling. I’m sure our paths will converge again.

Sinner: Hey, I hope so too...uh....

Caecus: Please, call me Caecus.

Sinner: Well, it’s only polite to give you my name too. I go by many names here, but I am quite fond of “Mr. Death” as silly as it sounds.

Caecus: Silly, yes, but very becoming of you. A pleasure, Mr. Death.

Mr. Death:Well, don’t let me keep you. I’d like to see you again sometime, Caecus. I’ll take my leave.

Caecus: All in due time.

--End--

[og-danny-dorito]

Twisted Wonderland : Some Pomfiore Headcanons

bitcH hhhh- I fucking HATE D*sney but these BOYS- I'm starting with Vil because uhhhh istanhim

{ Vil Schoenheit }

♛ Rich Blonde Bitch Energy™

♛ like that's not even an insult he literally looks like a mean girl and i cannot explain how happy that makes me

♛ cause like,,, there’s no way he’s NOT rich you know what i mean???

♛ like he’s literally a model and an actor by profession and has a fuckton of followers on MagiCam (5MIL exactly, i looked that shit up) not to mention i’m CONVINCED this thot has a youtube channel

♛ yes, it’s a makeup channel

♛ he does some other stuff like vlogs and story times where he talks about drama he heard in the hallways earlier that day and promotes his cosmetic brand because he likes that Coint

♛ he also gives tips for good makeup techniques and how to not fuck up your whole face for certain situations because he likes to flex his skills while also (and he probably wouldn’t admit it out loud) helping people get better at something he personally enjoys

♛ he is a part of the beauty commity as someone who both makes cosmetics and wears them regularly himself and makes a shitton of money from that because he’s pretty and knows that shit

♛ his subscribers/followers make memes of him making weird faces to get certain angles of his face like this and he highkey gets mad that they would sabatoge his good angles like that but says it in the most passive-aggressive way ever

♛ like they have a Q&A video or whatever and they send him something like this and he just looks at the camera and goes “I love your selfie, maybe try to look a little less crusty next time though. Maybe it’s the lighting?” and moves on like he didn’t just end their career, take all their money and snatch their wig with one sentence

♛ that means that his morning/evening routine is like, unfairly complicated. like HEINOUSLY complicated.

♛ he applies like 3 different moisturizers before actually putting his makeup on and because he grows some amount of facial hair be has to put color correctors down, and then he has to use this weird primer from like France or something-

♛ it's super complicated and takes him like an hour but he's the God of Self Care and beauty and if you ask him nicely he'll reccoment beauty products for you (albeit with some underlying insults here and there such as suggesting products for the acne you didn't say you wanted help with and so forth)

♛ also i’m convinced that he’s androgynous/gender fluid since he canonically presents as a man but uses feminine pronouns to refer to himself so like let’s make a petition to officiate that Vil Is Trans 2020

{ Rook Hunt }

♛ big art nerd right here

♛ like, as an art nerd myself you can usually TELL that someone is an art nerd too just by the way that they act and the Vibe they radiate, and this man screams “I will talk for hours about ‘The Last Supper’ and how i’m fairly certain that Leonardo DaVinci was gay”

♛ it’s also canon that his best subject is art and that he likes photography and stage play so like,,, not only is he an art nerd he’s a theatre nerd- ehem -i mean ✨thespian✨

♛ i don’t wanna go so far as to say that he’s one of those theatre kids that ONLY like musicals but like,,, he knows every score to “Phatom of the Opera” (listens to this shit religiously) and has like 5 Playbills for different plays sitting on a shelf that he takes care of religiously

♛ probably hums said musical scores to himself a lot while he’s doing things, mostly cleaning or cooking, to which the latter he does regularly

♛ you see there’s a certain way that he likes his food cause he’s a Picky Eater™ so he just makes a lot of it himself to satisfy his specifics

♛ it’s almost annoying because certain textures and flavors throw his whole food experience off

♛ he likes things that are easy to digest like soups or (his canonically favorite food) Liver Pâté and dislikes things that are too crunchy or hard to chew through like hard candy and fried foods

♛ like,,, not only is having to eat something hard gross cause he has to hear the sound of it in his skull but also because it makes him look sloppy when he eats it so he just avoids crunchy/crispy/overal messy foods altogether

♛ he’s a pretty decent cook even though he barely cooks for other people. the only time he really does cook for other people is when his house is doing a potluck or he has to go to an event where he needs to bring food and most of his share is gone within like 10 seconds because it’s so good

♛ don’t let him bake though. fist fighting god would be easier than helping rook bake and God Save You if you tell him he can’t do it because he WILL do it out of spite and seriously fuck up your kitchen

{ Epel Felmier }

♛ he’s,,, he’s baby

♛ no like fr tho he’s baby, i love him

♛ his whole complex of not feeling masculine enough seriously hits me hard too cause like same, and i feel like he probably does some of the things i did to make myself seem more masculine when i felt like i wasn’t

♛ he probably wears clothes a bit too large for him outside of his uniform, which always tends to make him look smaller than he actually is and kinda counteracts his efforts to look less like a doll

♛ like it genuinely bothers him when someone calls him “pretty” or “beautiful” cause he views it as him possessing more feminine qualities and being seen as more delicate and fragile than he’s supposed to be

♛ he doesn’t realize yet that he doesn’t need to be more physically masculine to still be considered just as manly as a 6’3” bodybuilder with big muscles and a beard, but he’s still 16 so i’m sure he’d pick it up eventually

♛ genuinely feels joy when someone tells him that he looks “handsome” or “very dominant and regal” tho since it gives him confidence and a sense of self-validation

♛ and, even though he’s not very good with words, he’ll try his best to give them a compliment back even though it comes out as a bit stuttered and meek since he’s not used to giving compliments like that

♛ he probably swears a lot though. dude is a quote unquote “brash country boy” who grew up in the middle of god knows where with what i’m assuming is a vast collection of old men to teach that cute little innocent boy how to say every cuss word in the book

♛ for real, his mouth is filthy and it catches most people off guard. in fact, when rook told him he looked a little bit like a porcelain doll at some point he high key looked him in the eye and went “fuck off” quietly enough so that only he could hear

♛ and no one believed him when he said that Epel, the sweetest and most fragile boy in the whole school, told him to fuck. right. off.

♛ needless to say epel made sure to do it more, albeit a little quietly cause he doesn’t wanna cross the line of being indecent

♛ Make Epel Feral 2020

{ ~Thanks For Reading!~ }

[shadyb00ts]

A Chromatica Review

So I never really use Tumblr, but when I do go on here, it’s pretty much to review something long-form. As you can tell from my profile picture here, and from my glowing review of ARTPOP from 7 years ago, I am and have always been a Gaga stan. Just read the melodramatic first paragraph of my ARTPOP review and you’ll get the gist of how much I idolize this woman. Well, idolized. Past tense.

That’s not to say I suddenly hate Gaga–I’m still going to follow her career and listen to whatever she puts out. There have just been several factors this past year that have changed my perspective on how I view her, this album being one of those factors. But I’ll get to those later. First I just need to lay out all my issues with this album.

Yes, this is going to be that type of review, so if you’re a fellow Gaga stan that isn’t able to criticize her work, this probably isn’t for you. Otherwise please read to the end if you can, because this is honestly about more than just the album.

Issue #1: The Mismatch Between Music & Aesthetic

When the cover of the album came out, I was so gagged. Like, just look at it! It’s striking, and Gaga has rarely ever disappointed me when it came to visuals. Actually, I can’t even think of any visual choices she made in previous eras that disappointed me. Even in the Joanne era, the pink cowboy hat became iconic and all of her aesthetic choices fit with the overall vibe of that album cycle.

So naturally, when she revealed to us the new visual direction she was taking for Chromatica, I assumed it would give us some insight into how the music would sound. The aesthetic of this era always gave me grungy cyberpunk and heavy machinery tease. When I look at the album cover for example, I can hear a song produced by SOPHIE in my head, the clink-clank queen herself. (There were rumors that Gaga was going to or did work with SOPHIE but that was never confirmed, unfortunately for us.)

For those unfamiliar with SOPHIE, here’s Ponyboy, which was most recently used in the ad campaign for Beyoncé’s Ivy Park clothing line.

That was the kind of production I was more or less expecting when taking the visuals into account; dark, metallic, basically similar to ARTPOP’s production (to be honest ARTPOP sonically fits better with the Chromatica aesthetic; think about it). 

But what did we get? Light, garden variety dance pop, a stark contrast to what the album cover and the promo images teased us with.

In the album, we get these orchestral interludes that are beautiful but don't really mesh that well with the actual tracks. The songs don't have any orchestral elements by themselves, so the interludes felt a bit misplaced to me. I wish they'd incorporated more of that into the individual songs, so that there could be an orchestral through-line to give more cohesion, like what Ariana did in her album positions by using strings. However I will say, the transition from Chromatica II into 911 remains unmatched.

I get that the album is supposed to sound happy, that it was her returning to her “dance pop roots” and singing about serious topics like mental health over happy-sounding beats, because it’s supposed to reflect her current mental state. I get all that. But if that was the case, I think she should’ve gone with a different visual direction to match. Personally I wish she went a different direction musically instead, but even if it was just the other way around and she changed the aesthetic of this era, my opinion of the album would probably improve slightly, cause at least there would be cohesion between the visuals and the sonics.

I look at that album cover, and promo images like the one below, and then I listen to songs like Fun Tonight or Plastic Doll for example, and there’s a noticeable dissonance there. 

You might be thinking “why are you so hard on her for this?” and I guess it’s because I’ve always held Gaga to a high standard when it comes to how she links those two elements. Think of every era she’s had in the past, and you remember how the visuals always just worked with their respective albums.

And that’s before I’ve even talked about the videos. Oh lord, the videos.

Issue #2: The Videos Are Lackluster (Except For 911)

It started with Stupid Love, the lead single. I had mixed feelings about that song in the beginning, but because I was so thirsty for new music from Gaga at the time, I played that song like hell when it leaked and it was on rotation for a good while. But when Gaga premiered the Stupid Love video, I’m not going to lie; I really didn’t like it.

The whole “shot entirely on iPhone” schtick really did the video a disservice. I’m sorry but it had to be said. If I imagined the video with a higher budget and more of a plotline as opposed to just being a dance video, I think it could’ve worked a lot better and been a decent introduction to not only Chromatica the album, but this fictional world/planet that she’s created. Which by the way, she didn’t really deliver in that regard either. 

The concept of Chromatica being a fictional world could have been expanded on further; she could’ve showcased all of the different factions (I know they were called “tribes” at first but that’s appropriative so I’ll call them factions) and perhaps had an overarching storyline about how these factions are at war, and it’s Gaga’s job as one of the “Kindness Punks”, as she calls it, to bring everyone together for a rave.

This is why I will always say it: Chromatica needed to be a visual album. Just imagine the storyline I mentioned just now being turned into a full-length feature, and now imagine the album’s orchestral intro playing as they’re essentially opening the gates to Chromatica and Gaga discovers this world for the first time, and then it goes into the first song Alice where she’s meeting all the factions and getting acclimated to her surroundings.

Honestly I could go on and on cause I have thought about this for SO LONG now and I’ll never shut up about it. It’s just such a missed opportunity cause the concept was just begging for a visual album. Anyway sorry for my tangent: back to the Stupid Love video.

The whole “shot on iPhone” gimmick really was unfortunate. Like she really ruined the quality of a music video because she wanted that Apple check??? Come on, Gaga, there could’ve been some other way to secure that check.

And then there was the Rain On Me video, which definitely have visuals that are a massive improvement from Stupid Love because it was professionally shot and cinematic. But even that was another purely dance video with not much in the way of storyline. Not that storyline is always required for music videos, but I think specifically when it comes to Chromatica, not having storylines in the M/Vs does a disservice to the overall concept.

I guess my issue with these two music videos, but mostly Stupid Love, is that Gaga isn't fully utilizing her COIN. Like she's successful enough to the point where she has budgets for these videos and can go all out, but doesn't. She has the capacity for extremely high production value, but up until 911, the last video she did that had that level of extraness was G.U.Y. I miss the days when her music videos were an event. I still remember where I was and what I was doing the exact moment the Telephone video came out. That's impact.

Taylor Swift I think is somebody who really knows how to blow her budget on a video. Look What You Made Me Do may have been a terrible song, but I always thought the video was sickening.

Anyway, I have no notes on 911. She's a masterpiece. If there was a music video category at the Oscars, I'd be campaigning for it right now.

Issue #3: Any Other Girly Can Do This

The thing I always loved the most about Gaga's music was that nobody was doing it like her. Everything she put out always felt like it was distinctly hers and hers alone, it's unmistakable. Even in Joanne, despite that album being a major departure from what she normally did.

I know Joanne is a very polarizing album, even for Little Monsters, but personally I've always loved it. Joanne was an album that I always knew she would make and I thought was essential to her career and body of work. Despite her straying away from pop for a more earthy, grass roots sound, it still sounded very much like her music. Even from the first track, Diamond Heart, her DNA is all over that.

It's difficult to explain what exactly I mean when I say there's a certain signature "Gaga-ness" or that she has a very specific DNA injected into her songs. If you've been a fan of hers for a long time or followed her career, you probably understand what I'm referring to. It's the way she laughs maniacally in the beginning of ARTPOP on Aura, how she says "I don't speak German but I can if you like, OW!" and proceeds to recite broken German on Scheiße, how she invented the phrase "disco stick", literally the ENTIRETY of The Fame Monster.

These examples probably give you the gist of what I'm trying to convey. Gaga is fucking weird. She has always been fucking weird and I love that so much about her. And her brand of weirdness was so specific that if any of the other pop girls tried to do what she did, it would have been cringey as hell. To me, the most disappointing thing of all with this album was that this weirdness that was so uniquely hers was missing.

It's there in brief moments, in tracks like Sour Candy, 911 and Babylon, but most of the album doesn't really sound like her music. It sounds like songs that she wrote for other people, like her old unreleased stuff. OG Little Monsters probably remember songs like Second Time Around and No Way. These were leaked unreleased songs that Gaga had written for other artists, and even though they were absolute bops, they didn't sound like her. They weren't supposed to.

A similar feeling I had was when her song The Cure came out a few years ago. I genuinely thought that was something she wrote for someone else, cause even though it was a solid pop song, it absolutely had zero Gaga-ness and any current pop girl could sing it. This pretty much encapsulates how I feel about the majority of Chromatica.

I was gonna say it sounded like songs that were written for Ally, her Star is Born character, but I think even those pop songs from the soundtrack sounded more Gaga than Chromatica does. 💀 I can easily imagine Hair Body Face being on The Fame.

Final Thoughts

It's funny that the last review I had posted on here before this was my review of Kingdom Hearts III. The Kingdom Hearts game series is something that's very near and dear to my heart, and I waited a wholeass decade for the third game to come out. And then it did, and I was so disappointed.

So you know what happened after that? What helped me deal with my disappointment of that game was my anticipation for Chromatica, or at the time it was still called LG6. I had no idea I would feel the same exact way about this album the way I do about KH3. Now when I think of both of these things, I'm mostly frustrated by all of the potential and the missed opportunities, but I also look at them with a certain fondness. I had fun playing KH3, and I also had fun listening to Chromatica, despite both of them disappointing me overall.

In the beginning of this review I said that there were certain factors that have stopped me from idealizing Gaga too much. Firstly it's because I'm much older now, and secondly it's due to the sheer state of the world this past year. The pandemic really precipitated the fall of celebrity culture, and all of that made me really examine how putting someone on such a high pedestal can be damaging in the long run.

Gaga is a human being and I haven't agreed with everything she's done, particularly how she handled the whole R. Kelly situation back in 2013. And also the simple fact that she's a white woman, we know how a lot of the time they can't help but show their asses and are bound to disappoint us in some way. I'm forever grateful for her artistry and how she saved my life when I was a suicidal little eighth grader, but I'm also going to hold her accountable for any of her mistakes, and I'd be ready to stop supporting her entirely if anything she does ever goes too far.

Now I stan artists for fun. It's not healthy to idolize them to the point of revering them. I mean, I like to make jokes like that about Beyoncé, like "no way on Beyoncé's green earth", etc. But even she is just a person that we shouldn't deify for real.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Chromatica being a lackluster album and era ended up being a good thing, because it helped me grow out of idolizing celebrities too intensely. Chromatica was pretty much the best disappointment I've ever listened to.

If you've read all the way to the end, thank you! Writing this was very therapeutic but also stressful; this is a second draft cause Tumblr fucked up my first post. 😭

Anyway, SAWAYAMA & Ungodly Hour are albums of the year. Argue with the wall.