#yes there are girls thinner than me and they are obviously they are gorgeous!!

[fawnwife]

this post is just for me but i giggling to myself over my fiance saying i was too fat at 120 lbs and then a guy who is taller, younger, thinner and more fit than him picking me up effortlessly multiple times and carrying me to the bed, holding me up against the wall and pulling me down on his dick in midair without missing a beat n also telling me i have a great body

[prettierthanurbf]

So What?

Y/n walked down the halls to find her best friend, getting the overwhelming feeling she’d be stuck walking into class alone, when she finally bumped into someone she knew. “Oh, great.” She mumbled irritably.

He turned around with a grin. “Well, hello, y/n.”

She rolled her eyes at his cocky grin. “Where’s your brother?”

The question just made his grin grow wider, making your patience even thinner. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” He teased.

She let her eyes wander around the halls to avoid eye contact when her eyes landed on him, sighing in relief, she pushed past his brother and hurried off to Tom. “Hey.” She said happily.

He looked up from his book. “Nice of you to wake up early for once.” He teased.

She laughed. “My parents are going to cut me off if I miss school to sleep in.” She explained.

He looked over her head, his eyes stopping on something that made his eyebrows furrow. “Mattheo’s staring at you again.” He whispered.

She quickly spun around to meet Mattheo’s eyes, turning back around so quick she almost fell over.

Tom helped her stand. “You alright?” He asked concerned.

She put a hand to her head. “I swear if he hexed me I’ll burn the little bastard.”

Tom chuckled. “Now I might just help you with that.”

Before y/n could say anything else, the teacher opened the doors for everyone in the class to walk in.

The whole class was a blur, mostly because y/n was asleep through half of it and hurrying to copy off of To ‘a notes during the other half, paying no attention to the teacher whatsoever.

Tom had to talk to one of his teachers before the next class started, which left y/n waiting outside on a bench alone with a book until class started.

Mattheo, who had grown bored of his friend group, walked off to bug y/n, sliding onto the bench and taking the spot a little too close to y/n.

She didn’t glance up from her book or move. “What?” She asked calmly.

He raised a brow. “No snarky comment? Hm.” He hummed. “Are you feeling alright?”

She rolled her eyes. “What do you want, Mattheo?”

“Ah, there’s the tone I was looking for.” He grinned. “What’re you reading?”

She clicked her tongue. “You could check the cover, you know.”

He shrugged. “It would sound so much better coming from your lips than mine.”

She shut her book, her finger holding the page she was on, snapping her head to look at him. “What do you want, Mattheo?” She repeated, this time a little less calm.

He smirked. “Maybe I want to help with your anger issues.”

“Maybe you should work on yours first.” She said back.

He laughed. “We could work on it together.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’d rather burn. Over and over. For eternity.”

He shrugged. “I could make it worth your while.”

She raised a brow. “What’s your angle, Riddle?”

He looked away with a small grin. “There’s no angle. I just think we could help each other out.”

“Have fun finding someone for that because I’m not your girl.” She slipped a small piece of paper into her book before getting up.

“But you could be.” Mattheo mumbled, but y/n had already walked off with all her things.

His shoulders slumped. “Great.”

Tom walked over to him laughing. “Did you seriously think whatever you were planning would work?”

Mattheo scowled at his brother. “It’s not like you’ve tried getting with her. Why is she so difficult.”

“She’s not into like that.” Tom said in a ‘duh’ tone.

Mattheo scoffed. “All the girls are into me like that.”

Tom shook his head and laughed a little more. “Not the one you like like that.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t like her like that, Tommy.”

“Then stop going after her, because I swear on my life and hers I will make yours a living hell if you break her heart or mess around with her for kicks. Got it?” Tom said sternly.

Mattheo put his hands up, a familiar teasing grin growing on his face. “It’s not that deep, brother.” And with that he walked off, another grinning glance at Tom before going straight ahead to see if he could find y/n.

He didn’t see her until school was over, when the clouds were making weird shapes up and the colors were changing from the sun going down, the black lake always looked prettiest at this time of day, which is why Mattheo chose to walk alongside it, also in hopes he’d find a weird creature in the water and draw it.

He came across y/n when he was walking back to the school, she was laying on her back, her head rested on her book bag, with a different book in her hands than she was reading hours prior. He walked over to her confidently.

“Hey, gorgeous.”

She sighed. “What?”

He sat down beside her. “So this is what you do after school?”

She rolled her eyes. “Quidditch practice was canceled today.”

He nodded. “Totally forgot you were on the team.”

She glanced at him. “Is there any reason you’re here or what?”

He shrugged. “Just wanted to know how you were doing.”

She pulled a piece of paper put of her robe, handing it to Mattheo without looking away from her book. “You read that and tell me how you think I’m feeling.”

His eyes scanned over the paper. “An animagus? Seriously?”

She shrugged. “Now I’ve got to wait for my uncle Newt to come down here and talk to me about everything.”

Mattheo handed the paper back. “So you can’t go home?”

She shook her head. “Apparently my brothers tore up the place pretty bad and they’re trying to get it under control.”

“So why don’t you just stay with me and Tom?”

She snorted. “Because it’s you and Tom. I swear both of you don’t know how to not argue, especially when you’re trying to do something ‘important’.”

Matthe scoffed. “We do not!”

She raised a brow. “So we’re just gonna play that game now?”

He shrugged. “I mean…”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re an idiot if you think you don’t argue with your brother a lot.”

“Just stay with us.” It came out more as a plead than a suggestion, which was not Mattheo’s intention at all.

Y/n laughed. “Beg me.” She joked.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, ha ha, very funny.” He said sarcastically. “Just stay with us.”

She glanced at him from her book. “If I do will you go away?”

“Maybe.” He said.

She shrugged. “Fine. Just let your brother know so it’s not a surprise or anything.”

“Okay.” Mattheo got up. “Did you finish the other book?” He asked, stopping himself from running off to find his brother so he could talk to y/n some more.

She looked up at him. “Yes. I had most of my classes to read through it.”

“How long have you had this one?”

“Since lunch. Why?”

He grinned. “No reason, no reason.”

“Why?” She repeated, this time sternly.

Mattheo looked down at her. “You’ll find out.” He winked at her before running off to find Tom.

When Spring break rolled around, y/n, Tom, and Mattheo went to Tom and Mattheo’s mansion they inherited when their dad mysteriously passed away.

Y/n explored a little since it was a bit of an upgrade from where the Riddle brothers were staying when she last stayed with them.

She stepped into a dark ish bedroom with lots of books. She walked over to the blinds and pushed them open so she could get a better look in the room.

“I usually like the curtains closed.” Mattheo said, scaring the shit out of y/n.

She turned to him with a hand over her heart. “Warn a girl next time, Mattheo!”

He laughed. “Sorry, sorry.”

She continued to look around. “You know, your room is the darkest one in this whole house. And the most gloomy.” Her eyes landed on the bookshelves. “Except for the books. They’re gorgeous.”

He chuckled. “You can go ahead and take some if you want. I’ve read all of them so I don’t really care.”

She raised a brow before laughing. “You’ve read all these? Like actually, actually? You’re not screwing with me?”

He shook his head. “Is that a surprise?”

“Yes! In all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you open a book.”

“You don’t spend any time in the library.” He stated. “That’s where I am during my free time.”

“When you’re not walking around the lake.” She said.

He laughed. “You stalking me?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mattheo. I’ve seen you walking around like a loner because I spend most of my time by the lake. It’s where some of the hot guys at our school swim so it’s a pretty good view.”

Mattheo clenched his jaw before letting out a forced laugh. “I forgot you like staring at strangers who are half naked.”

She shrugged. “If they’re hot, they’re hot. I gotta stare.”

“You’re not like… staring at them like that, are you?” He laughed. “Cause that would be weird.”

“Oh, like how you look at me?” She said, raising a brow as a grin pulled at her lips.

He chuckled. “Now, darling, I think you’re just seeing things.”

“Oh?” She asked, walking over to him. “So if I were to take my sweater off you’d keep looking at my eyes?”

He laughed awkwardly. “Well, I think a lot of people would look, honestly…”

She raised a brow. “If your brother was changing you’d look at his chest?”

He rolled his eyes. “No. Obviously not.”

She nodded. “But you’d have a problem looking in my eyes instead of at my chest?”

“Well you’re not my sister so I can look.”

“Well now you just sound like a creep.” Y/n teased.

Mattheo scowled. “Well now you’re not being fair.”

“Oh no?” She grinned, unzipping her hoodie and sliding it off her arms. “My eyes are up here, Mattheo.”

“Screw this.” Mattheo mumbled annoyed. He cupped y/n’s face gently before pulling her in and pressing his lips against hers.

She pulled away for air after what felt like a short time period. “You do that to all the girls who try to take their sweater off?” She asked dumbfounded.

He shook his head and laughed, his hands still cupping her face. “You’re so blind sometimes, y/n.”

She raised a brow. “And you’re not?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “No?”

“You sound unsure.” She teased. “But you are.”

He rolled his eyes, pulling his hands away. “You are more than I am.”

“I’ve been in love with you since I met you.” She said quietly. “And you never noticed.”

He grinned. “So the flirting was getting to you?” He teased.

“I’ll cut your throat.” She said quickly.

He chuckled. “I’ll take my chances.” He pulled her in for another kiss, pulling away when he heard footsteps getting closer to his room.

She quickly pulled back and stood by the bookshelf, getting a book off the shelf quickly. “What’s this one about?” She asked calmly.

Matthe cleared his throat. “Uh, uhm… werewolves.” He said after clearing his throat.

Tom knocked on the door frame. “Hey, there’s hot water on the stove right now. I’ve got to stop by the market to get some more stuff for dinner. I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

Mattheo grinned at y/n as Tom walked off to get his shoes on and leave for the market.

[mrs-heelshire]

A night in Rio

                           Threesome collab with @bubbleteaimagines​ 

                                         Hinata and Oikawa x F!Y/N

                                                    MINORS DNI

                           T.W : Sex, threesome and mentions of alcohol

It was early in the night, only 9 pm. You were on a trip with your boyfriend for the week. All was amazing, the two of you have been here since only yesterday. Only two days here before you learn that he cheated on you, even more than once, back in your country. You took all of your stuff and ran away after a quarrel with him. Was he always that mean? You weren’t sure, to be honest. Anyway, you can no longer stay here with him. Slapping him after closing your suitcase, you chose to change your hotel immediately. Thank god, you two didn’t live together. Anyway, now that you were in a new hotel, all by yourself, you decided to go out for the night. You need to change your mind and have fun so let’s not stay on the bed to ugly cry all night long.

Getting ready within half an hour, you were ready to own the night. Make up on, a sexy outfit, and your hair did, you were flawless and you knew it from all the looks people gave you. With a super short black leather skirt and a red croc top, tied by the back of your neck, your wavy hairs were adding a touch even more sexy to your look. Red lipstick on, mascara, and eyeliner were the only makeup on your face but god that was all needed to make you the prettiest person in the club you went to.

Many glances at you, you stayed for a moment at the bar. Drinking, you sighted. No man, no women, no non-binary persons.. no one catches your eyes tonight. Do you need to lower your standards? Hell no. No, you don’t. Paying for your drink, you were ready to move to another club when the barman gave you another one. Surprised since you haven’t asked for another, he didn’t give you the time to ask him to explain how and why.

“A little gift for the prettiest, from those two men here.”

With a small smile on his face, he let you look by yourself at who those two men were. Both of them were so fine. An orange-haired one, who seemed pleasantly muscular for his height, not much tall for a man. His friend was taller and thinner, yet he seemed as well though as the orange-haired one. Both tan, they immediately catch your eyes. Smiling at them as you raise your drink, you slowly drank it, exchanging glances with him. None of you took your eyes away as the three of you were finishing your drinks. They were checking you up as well as you were checking them up. For sure, now, the night seems to be more exciting.

The drink over, you got up, straight to the dance floor. It was the time to show your skills off. Moving your body, he didn’t take long before you felt a hand on your waist as the brown-haired one slighted behind you to move in rhythm with you. The smallest one in front of you, he put a hand on your waist as well, coming closer to you, moving in rhythm as well. Following the music, the three of you were in total synchronization. You never experienced something like that but god you knew what you were doing

“Our Hotel ?” Finally breaking the silence, the brown-haired one headed down to you, to be able to whisper in your ears so you can hear him over the loud music.

It’s only after ten little minutes on the dance floor that the three of you headed out. The orange-haired one grabbing your hand to be sure that you’ll follow them, the tallest one grabbed his car keys. It was him driving, meanwhile you and his friend were on the backseat, kissing each other already so deeply that you thought the two of you were gonna do it right here, right now. But now, the smallest one may be hungry for you, but he knew how to be able to taste you out the best.

“Can I ?” Asked the smallest one, kissing your neck as his hand went down, rubbing your most precious part, hiding behind the fabric of your clothes.

Nodding, the sound of his voice made you shiver. That was the most honeyed voice that you’ve ever heard. He seemed as needy as dominant. Letting him rub his thumb on your covered pussy, you let out some moan, making the driver’s jaw clenched. God the atmosphere all around in the car was so hot, it was suffocating. A good kind of suffocation.

The three of you were so horny that you can’t stop kissing and rubbing against each other even in the elevator and the hallway. Your mind is focused on them, you only notice the luxury of this hotel when they make you lean on the bed. For god’s sake, how big was it? Looking at the room around you, you immediately knew you were with two rich men. Well, this wasn’t like you cared about their money at some point. That was the last thing you were wondering.

“How about we take off this gorgeous outfit of you ?” Asked the orange-haired boy as he came back to kiss your neck. For sure, he was the most hungry of you three.

“I want to know your name first..” You moaned in his ears, making him blush softly.

You knew that question surprised them by the look they gave you for a minute. But they didn’t give you much time to think about it as the both of them came back to kiss you, all your neck, making you moan again as you slid a hand through each of their hair.

“I’m Tooru Oikawa and this small hungry man is Shoyo Hinata. What’s your name princess ?” Answered the tallest one, giving you chills as his voice was so sexy.

“Y/N” You answered back, curving your back as you felt Hinata’s fingers rubbing your belly.

Even if you still haven’t answered his first question, the smallest one takes away your top, immediately coming to cover your now bare chest with kisses, small bites, and sucking. For god’s sake, this man knew what he was doing. Petting his hairs, you let him do as he wanted with pleasure. Pleasure who quickly went double went, Oikawa slipped a hand under your shorts, coming to caress your precious little clit. Coming to kiss you, the tallest one dared to leave a hickey on your neck, a smirk on his face as he looked at it with pride.

Hearing Hinata groaned against your breast as he heard his friend marking your skin, he didn’t wait long before doing the same. Except that this man was a lot needier than his friend. Covering your chest and breast with hickeys, you can’t help but arch your back over and over, unconsciously rubbing your thighs against his dick who went straight up. Feeling not on, but two cocks hard as hell against each of your tights, you grabbed his orange-hairs as you felt yourself becoming even edgier. You wanted more. God yes, you wanted more than frictions. You don’t have to beg for a second before Oikawa hears you, slide two fingers inside you that he moved while he kept rubbing your clit with his thumb.

“You’re doing good, pretty girl.” He leans to whisper directly in your ears, slowly biting your earlobe with appetite.

All this pleasure was overdrawing you but you didn’t want to be the only one to receive. Sliding both of your hands inside their pants, you just teased them by only stroking them against the fabric of their underwear. Making them groan and growl, you smirked as you were still struggling to keep your voice decently down, not wanting the people around the hotel to hear you.

It didn’t take them long before they suddenly released you at the same time to strip. Well… strip is a big word. As Hinata took off his clothes like a beast in a rut, Oikawa took his time to tease your gaze. Quickly coming back at you, Shoyo grabbed your face between his hands to give you an amazing kiss that you extended, grabbing his fluffy hairs. Taking advantage of this distraction, Oikawa suddenly took off your shorts and underwear, heading down, making you moan hard against the other boy's lips.

“Gosh... You’re already so wet. Taste good princess.” He mumbles as he eats you out, letting a loud wet noise fill up the room, only to make you, even more, blush and moan. God those pet names will be the end of you, you already knew it.

“Move, let me have a taste of this sweet girl.” Groaned Hinata as he took his friend's place without hesitation.

God, the smallest of the two men, didn't talk much, but he knew all the better ways to use his mouth and his tongue. Playing with your pussy like a pro, using his fingers and his tongue, Hinata made so many noises. Wet noises filled the whole room. Groaning as he saw his friend take his place, Oikawa got surprised to see you moving the hand that wasn’t petting Hinata’s hair, to sign him to come to you. Wanting to please him as well, you took his hard cock in your hands. Using both your mouth and your hands, you're quick to make him groan. God his voice was so sexy. As Hinata was making you moan and groan as well, playing perfectly with your lowest part, your throat vibrated around the tallest man’s dick, making him quick to get on the verge of coming.

“Can I ?” Suddenly asked Hinata as he raised his head from your inner thighs that he also took the time to cover the inside with hickeys.

Nodding as you gently rubbed his cheeks, he slowly stood up, licking his lips who were covered by your juice. This man was so exciting, and he seemed to know it. Consuming you by his gaze only, the orange-haired boy took a condom off of his back pocket. Unwrapping it with his teeths he never stopped looking at you. He was so hot doing it that you could feel yourself leaking from arousal and even more when you saw him putting the condom on his hard as hell cock. He was so thick. Not as long as his friend but yet, you knew you’ll feel it coming inside.

“Tell me if it hurts, baby.” He said with a deeper voice than before.

God, it was so hot, your whole body was already sweating, and it was just the beginning. A beginning that Oikawa started to get jealous of. You never stopped your hand and yet, he started to get jealous of you only looking at his friend. Obviously, he will not let the orange haired boy take the lead alone. Oh, no. He will also take the lead.

“Don’t forget about me, princess.” He said with a smirk on his face, leaning onto you to slowly come to play with your nipples.

His hands were so soft and yet so rough on your skin. Making you moan, you still twitched and arched your back as you felt Hinata slowly insert inside you. It wasn’t your first time but it never has been that big and that appetizing. You already wanted more and yet your mind tried to tell you to wait a little to give yourself the time to get used to a thick dick like the one who was spreading your inside. Grabbing Oikawa’s hair, making him get even closer to your bare chest, things that make him happy. Immediately coming to eat your hard nipples, the setter was like a baby trying to get some milk. Which wasn’t possible, but it didn’t stop him from continuing to keep using his tongue and his soft lips on your cute little nipples.

Hinata only waits half a minute before starting to move inside you. Tearing your inside up, he still was able to make you feel good. A mix of pain and even more of pleasure, you were moaning so much that your mouth can no longer shut it. Mouth opens continuously, your eyes start to become teary. Gosh both of them were so good, and they knew it.

“You’re sucking me in.. fuck.. you’re gorgeous sunshine !” Grabbing your waist, Hinata was like a beast, trusting you with fierceness and yet so much caring.

He didn't want you to break. Oh, no, he wanted you to feel pleasure from his actions. Pleasure from his cock. Hinata seemed to perfectly know what he was doing. Feeling pleasure from all over your body was so good, so exciting. Quickly feeling yourself close to the edge, close to an orgasm, you started to moan louder, grabbing the sheets and the setter’s hair more strongly.

“You can come princesse, don’t hold it back… come for us.” Quietly whispered the setter, looking directly at you.

Both of them were. Both of them wanted to see your face as you cum and god that was so perfect, so pretty, so exciting. Squirming under both of them, you came screaming the smallest one name. He was so good, continually hitting your G-spot as he fucked you deep while his friend let down a hand to come rubbing your clit to give you even more pleasure as he was still sucking your breast, looking at you with so much desire. Looking directly at your O-face, Hinata almost let it all go inside. But, no, the orange haired boy perfectly knew how to last long. Obviously he knew how to.

“So pretty… God, you’re amazing... “ Mumbled the orange-haired boy as he leaned a little to cover your neck with his kisses.

Getting up, Oikawa smirked looking at you. He was thinking the same as his friend. You were so perfectly squirm under his team-mate's body. But this time, he wanted to step in. He wanted to get as much as pleasure and he will. With an only glare at each other, they both understand themselves in two seconds. Hinata leaning his back on the bed as he stayed inside you, making you lean onto him. Facing him, you didn’t saw Oikawa putting a condom on his hard cock. You’ll always regret it cause you knew this will have been an awesome view.  

“Tell us, princess, are you comfortable with using this part of this pretty body of yours ?” Asked the setter as he gently grabbed your ass in his hands.

You knew what would happen. The position you all were in and this question… Oh yes, you knew what would happen if you said yes. But like I said earlier, it wasn’t your first time. It may be your first threesome but it will not be your first time doing it from the back. Still, you were a little scared that it would be too much to handle for your body. What if Oikawa were too big to fit inside you? Breathing slowly, you took a second to think of it before nodding. You weren’t exactly sure of why, but you trusted them. They didn’t seem like they would hurt you and God, no, they’ll never do such things. Your pleasure comes first for them.

“I’m okay with it.. but please, fill me up… I want to feel you inside me…” You asked him, turning your head to look at him.

Surprised with the words used for this request, the setter was biting his lower lips as you looked at him with so much appetite. He was ready. Ready to increase your pleasure.  

“As you want princess.” He gently comes to whisper in your ears as he lays down against your back.

Squeezing yourself around the orange-haired boy as you felt his friend covering your ass with lube, you shiver. It was cold, but you knew you’ll need much of it. All the bottles. Making Hinata moan by squeezing your pussy around him, he is quick to grab you by the back of your head to come and kiss your neck. Rubbing your back with so much care, the smallest one

Oikawa didn’t come inside of you right away. No, he took his time to prepare you with his fingers. Only adding another one of them when you felt ready. Hinata was fucking you really slowly, and yet, it was so good. They were both so good. You were quickly ready. Regularly adding lub, the brown-haired man finished the bottle on your ass. Yet, it was only ten good minutes later, ten good minutes where they both praised you again and again, that Oikawa was sure that you were ready for more.  

“I’m coming in princess, tell me anytime if you want me to stop. I’ll stop right away.” He finally said, gently passing a hand in your hair.

Nodding again, you grabbed the orange-haired man’s arms as Oikawa started to insert himself inside your asshole. God, he was so big. You could feel it. He was a little bit thinner than his teammate but, yet, he was longer. Grabbing you by your waist, he got himself inside of you inch by inch. He wanted to fuck you right away but he was perfectly able to restrain himself. He didn’t want to hurt you.  

Moaning more and more, inch by inch, you squeezed yourself so hard around Hinata that he was unable to move for a moment. It was only when Oikawa was fully in that you could breathe properly. But… you knew it would not last long. As soon as they’ll start moving, breathing will be hard but it will be worth it and you knew it already. Waiting for you to get used to feeling both of them inside you, they both waited without moving, only waiting for your consent to start moving.

Consent that you took some minutes to give it to them. It was a new feeling. You were tearing apart from two big ass cocks and it was already so good. Giving them your consent, they both started moving slowly at first. They needed you to be fully used to their moving inside your two holes. Moving in crescendo, they’re quick to bring you to the edge of another orgasm. For god sake, you were overwhelmed by pleasure. It was a new feeling but you already knew you'd become addicted to it. It was so good. The room filled up with your loud moans and with their groans, it was so hot. You were now drooling from all the pleasure you were filled with.

With a lot of wet sounds mixing with your three voices, you suddenly froze as your back arched weirdly. Grabbing Hinata’s shoulders, you scratch them without noticing it. How could you notice that small detail anyway? It was too much for you, you were the first to come. Well… that's what you thought. Coming in unison, inside of you, both groaned their pleasure directly in your ears. It was like heaven. Even with their condoms, you were able to feel their cum filling the latex inside of you.  

“God..” You whispered, having a hard time catching up with your breath.

You were drained. No battery. Your body was shaking so hard, especially your legs. Your eyes were already closing themselves, you were so sleepy now. It was now too late to go back to your new hotel room. You’ll have to stay there for the night and none of them were against it.

Taking off their condoms, Hinata carried you to the bathroom to give you a little bath before sleeping while Oikawa was changing the sheets. You’ll all need a wash-up. The orange-haired boy was so gentle with you. Fortunately, he was, either way, you’ll never be able to wash up yourself.

.For the rest, you're not sure about what happened. You were so sleepy that you probably fell asleep in the bath. You weren’t sure. Yet, it was on the bed that you worked up.    

Feeling a gentle light on your face in the morning as the sun rises, you slowly open your eyes. God your lower body is sore but last night was so good that you can not regret it. How can you regret it? There is no way you would. But... Where were they? You were alone in this room and it made your heart squeezed. The room was so chic and big, but it wasn’t the same now. You were alone in their hotel room.

A small paper on the nightstand, you reached from it intrigued. It was a little note with two phone numbers writing on attached with each of their names with a small text underneath.

“Sorry for leaving you alone, we had a morning practice that we can’t skip... It was an awesome night, you are gorgeous. We hope you liked it as much as we did. Don’t hesitate to text us! For another round or for some time more soft and casual! 😋 O.T and H.S”

This small note made your heart melt, this was like a dream. But something was strange.. they seemed rich and that mention of “morning practice”... hmm... Were they professional athletes? Looking at their names on Google, you freeze seeing how famous they were. They had millions and millions of followers on Instagram, so many sports prizes were on so many sports magazines covers and... Oh, god. It was even more of a dream now. You’ll definitely contact them back but not because they’re famous athletes but because last night was amazing and that you were still able to feel the chemistry between the three of you.

@bubbleteaimagines Hope you’ll like it !

[kitkatd7]

Christmas Party

Summary: You’re having a great Christmas eve… until you aren’t. You’re being bullied and Loki isn’t having any of it.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Angst! self-consciousness, bullying/belittling, cursing, fluff ending

Requests: 

Requested by @myraiswack: Hello love, congrats again on 500!!! Could I request a prompt thing for Loki with 4. “Leave me alone” angst prompt but then a fluffy end with 9. “Hold me” (so kinda a hurt & comfort thing? Idk you can do whatever😁💕) Thank you so much 😘

Requested by @cap-n-stuff: Hi! Can I get an angst to fluff with Loki?? Thanks! 

Prompts: “You have to kiss me if we’re under the mistletoe.” (Season of Fiction Writing Challenge)

Word Count: 1482

A/N: This is for @star-spangled-beard-burn Season of Fiction Writing Challenge!! Congratulations again, and I hope you enjoy it! Beta read by the beautiful @rhemasky and the ever wonderful @cap-n-stuff thanks lovelies <3

Prompts will be in bold (Poem is not mine and I take no credit for it, I’m borrowing it from google) 

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You’re at Tony’s Christmas party with your boyfriend, Loki, and everything is perfect. The food is amazing, all of your friends are present, and you’re all watching Tony, who’s drunk, and singing Deck the Halls with the wrong lyrics. And to top it all off- You feel beautiful for the first time in a long time. Not that Loki didn’t tell you every chance he had how gorgeous you were- but having someone tell you and feeling it are two very different things. But tonight- Tonight is different. You look gorgeous; you feel gorgeous. A dark green dress hugs your skin delicately, accenting your curves. The golden sparkles that start at the top gently cascade down the strapless dress, thinning out until they disappear just before the hem of your skirt. Your hair twisted back into soft waves, held by golden pins. The necklace you never take off you rests at the hollow of your throat; An elegant gold star with small white gems. It was a present from Loki, gifted along with a poem: 

I want to invite you for a walk

To a quiet place; in the moor. 

When the breeze sings serenades, 

One of those nights-

The moon is full.

A restless pounding invades my heart

When I think of my confidants-

The stars.

If only they could speak,

What would they say?

If you could hear them speak,

For they know my fondness for you

And that in my thoughts,

There is no other one.

If only the stars could speak

They will tell you that I love you.

They would ask you, 

To love me back.

That was how he told you he loved you. The memory wraps around you in a warm haze as you smile up at Loki. His grip tightens around your waist as he presses a kiss to the top of your head, and you sigh contentedly. 

“Do you want champagne, love?”

You hum a yes, watching as his dark, deliciously clad form disappears into the crowd.

You roll your eyes upon hearing a high pitched voice call your name. You turn, coming face to face with one of Tony’s countless guests. Lord knows how she got an invite. 

“Aren’t you Loki’s ex-girlfriend?” She asks, not waiting for a reply as her friends shoot you a pitiful look. “That is so sad! I can’t believe it. Everyone thought you guys would work out- But can you really blame him for breaking up with you?” She snarks, tone shifting as she eyes you demeaningly. 

“What? No, we didn’t break-”

“I mean, sure, you’re sort of cute, in your own way. But honestly, you're not good enough for him anyway. It’s probably for the best. You’ve got too many… How can I put this lightly?” She pauses thoughtfully, her hand under her chin in fake contemplation. “...Imperfections.” She finally says maliciously as her friends nod in faux sympathy. 

“Also, you’re obviously way too clingy- Guys don’t like that.” She hums, shaking her head disapprovingly. “Loki needs a more confident girl. Prettier. Thinner. Someone like- well, someone like me, I suppose,” she says casually, eyes glinting assertively. 

All the air is pushed from your lungs as you choke back sobs.

Loki’s eyebrows furrow as he watches you whirl away from a group of women and push your way aimlessly through the crowd. He grabs your arm lightly as you turn to face him, looking up at him with tears in your eyes.

“My love, what’s wrong?” He asks, cupping your face gently when you shake your head and try to step away. He whispers your name, his eyes clouding in confusion. “Tell me what they said,” he prompts you gently. Blinking back fresh tears, you pull away. “Leave me alone,” you whisper hoarsely before rushing out, vanishing in the mass of bodies.

He looks around for the source of your pain, his eyes scanning the crowd so intently he doesn’t notice Thor come up beside him. “Are you alright, brother? You look tense.”

“I’m fine. It’s Y/N. Someone upset her greatly, and I think it only fair I return the favor,” Loki growled, striding across the floor with purpose, his eyes glinting. 

Stalking up to her, Loki glares daggers, his words dripping with venom. “I don’t know what exactly you said to Y/N, but I know the general context- If you think for even a moment that you are worth more than she is, you are desperately wrong. She’s the most beautiful, intelligent, gentle person I’ve ever met, and to call her anything less than that is simply your resentment overtaking the little sense you have. She is worth more than you could possibly imagine, and she deserves for you to treat her with more respect than anyone here. The only reason you aren’t begging for your life right now is because of her and the restraint she taught me. Consider yourselves lucky we didn’t meet a year ago. Now. Get. Out,” Loki snarls, eyes flashing with barely contained rage. 

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Some minutes later, Loki opens the door to your room softly, slipping inside to find you perched on the edge of the bed, smudged mascara and drying tears mixing on your cheeks. Your dress in a forgotten heap on the floor, replaced with sweatpants and a hoodie that you never gave back to him. He crouches in between your thighs, his hands resting gently on your legs. All his quick wit evades him, and he finds himself unable to conjure the perfect words to ease your pain. “I’m sorry.” 

You burst into fresh tears, burying your head into his shoulder, and all he can do is hold you as you try to find the words. “She’s right, you know?” You murmur, sitting up as a mirthless laugh passing through your lips as Loki looks at you in confusion.

“What was she right about, darling?”

“That I’m not like her. I can never be like her- I’ll never look like her, or sound like her, or act like her. I can never be that perfect. She was right about everything. She was right that I’ll never be good enough for anyone. But I’ll especially never be good enough for you-”

Your sentence cuts off as Loki’s lips capture yours, his hands cup your face as he kisses you with such a confident passion that it leaves you breathless when he pulls away. Resting his forehead against yours, he stares deeply into your eyes. “Don’t ever say that you aren’t good enough for me again. It is I who isn’t worthy of you, my love.  But she’s right-” He starts as you look at him in shock. “-That you aren’t like her... And that’s why I love you.” He huffs lightly to himself, brushing the back of his hand against the soft skin of your cheek while gazing at you like you hung the moon in the sky. “I don’t want you to be like her. I don’t want you to try to look or sound or act any differently than you are- Because as soon as you try to be someone else, you lose yourself. Darling, perfect is not a real thing. Perfect is a mask, an image of what someone else wants you to be. To be perfect is to be fake and to let go of every ounce of life in your being. I love you exactly the way you are, and always will.”

You stare at Loki in complete surprise, your lips parted slightly, at a loss for words.

He kisses you again with a dominating sweetness that you’ve never felt before. His lips are fierce and compelling against your own as you lean into him, all of the pain you felt slipping away into memory at the caring touch and soothing presence of your lover. 

“Hold me.” It comes out a breathless plea against his lips as he gathers you in his arms and moves you both to the headboard. 

You snuggle into him, your head on his chest and his arms securely around you. Anchoring you. “This isn’t exactly how I imagined us spending Christmas.” You hum tiredly against his skin in agreement. 

Before you can slip into sleep, you hear him murmur your name. Your eyebrows furrow at the soft expression on his face and the light dancing in his eyes. “You have to kiss me if we’re under the mistletoe,” he whispers. 

“Loki, there isn’t any-” You huff before following his gaze to the ceiling where there is, in fact, mistletoe. “That’s cheating.” you chuckle, leaning closer instinctively, eyes flicking between his and his lips. 

“Mm, perhaps. But if I get a kiss from you then it’s worth it.” He charms, lips curving into a warm smile. 

You sigh, into the kiss in pleasure and exhaustion before nestling back into his side. Maybe this isn’t a terrible way to spend Christmas.

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[og-danny-dorito]

[ 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐉𝐨𝐉𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 : 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 ]

———————————————————————

[ 𝐀/𝐍 ] straight up pulled these out of my ass at like 1-2 am but here u go anyway

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𝐉𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐊𝐮𝐣𝐨 :

- consistently smells like cigarettes and cheap cologne but he has the common sense not to buy axe since it reminds him of the middle schoolers in his school

- cant fucking cook to save his life because he refused to sit down and let Holly teach him. he suffers the consequences his first week in college and ends up eating dinner there for a month since he’s broke

- literally only smokes Marlboro Reds. like he’s super fucking picky about his cigarettes and it carries on for the rest of his life

- i can’t 100% tell what his sexuality is but i know he isn’t straight (it’s a gut feeling i just k n o w)

- i know everyone says he fucks but like,,, the concept of him having only dated jolyene’s mom rather than having multiple past partners and just marrying her like all the white southern people do with their “highschool sweethearts” in my area SENDS me

- i like to think that he’s bilingual since he grew up around his gramps and holly speaking it all the time so it’s kinda normal for him to stare into the distance for 2 hours straight trying to figure out the english word for “salt” during dinner with his english-speaking grandparents

𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐤𝐢 :

- BI-CON no you cannot convince me otherwise thank you very much

- probably has a male leaning preference tho cause like his vibe just screams “twink” to me for some reason

- he somehow speaks better english than jotaro (who’s grown up bilingual) and constantly likes to show it off by having conversations with his mom in front of him

- absolutely feral when playing videogames. like if you’re playing mario kart with him do NOT expect him to go easy on you since you’re a friend. in fact he might be even more competitive and a whole ass cheater by “accidentally” bumping into you while you’re trying to avoid a banana peel or some shit like that

- he likes cherries the most, but he pretty much likes any red fruit anyway. like he literally won’t eat any fruit that isn’t red, just because he doesn’t find it appealing. it’s been like this since he was a kid and his mom is still pissed off about it

- kinda insecure about his body since he’s thinner than the rest of the crusaders but polnareff makes sure to ABOLISH that shit since kakyoin is the Skinny Legend none of them could ever be. polnareff is basically his hype man when he feels unattractive no cap

- literally hates the way cigarettes smell and has complained about it enough to get Jotaro to finally put on some fucking cologne to mask it (even tho it does a shitty job) but it’ better than being suffocated by the smell of smoke all the time

𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐧-𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐟 :

- a pansexual icon, and likes to constantly clarify that by merely existing

- def the hype man of the group. like in the last one where i mentioned that he hypes up kakyoin when he’s feeling insecure?? yeah its not just limited to kakyoin (even though he arguably needs it the most probably)

- notices and compliments ever new piece of clothing any of them get and gives tips for their wardrobe unprompted (that being said he would literally fucking die if he saw part 6 jotaro’s snake skin print pants)

- can COOK okay like this man can make a 3 course meal blindfolded and with his hands tied behind his back and it still comes out looking straight outta master chef. he can also grill, but not as well as joseph can obviously

- LOVES chubby girls like,,, its not a fetish thing he just LOVES chubby girls with all of his heart

- beats the shit out of anyone who makes a r*pe/misogynistic joke in his presence with absolutely no exceptions

𝐌𝐮𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐀𝐯𝐝𝐨𝐥 :

- s o m f t,,, s o m f t  h u g s. like he’s just the warmest dude, and he smells so nice and has such a nice voice that reverberates in his chest- like if he sings you to sleep while you lay in his arms you might as well die right then and there because you’ve reached heaven

- probably smells like sage and chai tea with a hint of cinnamon in there. it’s v calming tbh like he basically feels like what you think home would be if it were a person

- gorgeous, but very VERY uncontrollable hair. like it’s v curly and thick and stuff and so he ties it in bantu knots so it doesn't bother him. he’ll let it loose sometimes just so he doesn't end up having breakage or anything like that, but if he’s actually trying to be productive he has to tie it up somehow

- i personally believe in puffy ponytail avdol supremacy thank you very much

- names all of the chickens. yes, all of them. and he remembers every single one of their names too

- theres a v v common headcanon that he’s Muslim and honestly? i don’t know much about Islam but i still think it’s cool regardless

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐡 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 :

- ya’ll thought he’s matured since he’s older now? lmao NO- he still does dumb shit all the time and i honestly doubt that it’s ever going to change. he’s a himbo for life ya’ll

- really likes film noir movies!! like the old shit is probably always going to be his go-to, but he also likes modern noir stuff too just because it’s so cool to him. highkey quotes lines from the movies when investigating something too and gets so excited when someone recognizes it

- i hate to fucking say it but i KNOW this man says “gracias” at Mexican restaurants to a) embarrass the fuck out of jotaro and b) because it’s canon that he has quote on quote “frequent failures at blending with the local culture and his struggle at battling Stands are a constant source of humor” (see the Joseph Joestar Wiki Page) and i plan to use that to the fullest of it’s capacity even if its a stretch

- highkey knows he’s a gilf but like refuses to let out the information that he has knowledge of modern lingo. he’d much rather use it incorrectly to make The Youth uncomfortable

- can actually use technology really well?? like you’d expect him to be a boomer about it but he’s knowledgeable to be able to help younger people with their phone problems (mostly courtesy of Hermit Purple)

- would die for some soul food at any given moment thank you very much 😌

[ ~𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠!~ ]

[lyricalimerence]

No Matter The Season - JJ Maybank

a/n: so this is based off the song no matter the season by sara kays, it's an incredible song you should listen to it. this is my first time writing on tumblr so i hope it's okay and y'all like it!

word count: 1879

warnings: little angsty, some fluff, lots of hating on yourself, lack of body confidence

summary: you're insecure and jj lectures you because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. all of you are beautiful and i know that it's just my word against what you think about yourself, but know that i think you're beautiful so don't beat yourself up or give up on yourself bbys. you're perfect.

i got my long sleeves on. baggy and way too long

The world was spinning on its axis, the sun rose in the east and set in the west, the tides pushed against the shores before being pulled out again. Everything was normal. It was just another day on the boat with the Pogues. Swimming, fishing, drinking cheap beers left over at The Wreck that Kiara’s dad so graciously donated to his daughter’s friend group. It was just another day. But as you stood in the mirror in the bikini Kie coerced you into buying when you two went to the mall as a girls’ weekend, you couldn’t help but notice everything you deemed was a flaw. Every little mark and every curve that was on you but not on Kie or Sarah.

Practically hearing the Pogues start to get antsy for you to hurry up, you reach into your closet and pull out your only warm clothes that were normally preserved for December and January. You let out a shaky breath and held up the hoodie to your torso, itching to just cover up all the insecurities that you have. Throwing the sweatshirt back onto your bedspread, you hold the pair of JJ’s sweatpants that he let you borrow but you’ve never returned, to your waist, remembering how safe you feel when they cinch in your waist and fall down past your ankles.

Dropping the pants to the laminate flooring underneath you, you hug your waist, as you suck in your stomach, feeling a manipulative dosage of serotonin surge through your brain when your arms follow your stomach into your ribcage and your stomach looks thinner in the mirror.

nobody has questions in december, but five months later, all i hear is:

Before you can pull the hoodie and sweatpants on to erase how you truly feel, a quick knock followed by the squeak of your bedroom door hinges rings out, revealing your blond haired boyfriend in your doorway.

A smile etched its way across JJ’s face as he looked you up and down. Scanning every inch of your body, he soaked in your features and how perfect you looked in that bikini, “Damn, Y/N! You ready?”

You clear your throat and retreat into the skin you hate so much, “Yeah, gimme a minute?” JJ nods and respects your request, walking out of your room and closing the door, but leaving it open ajar. You grab the hoodie and sweatpants, turning to see the connecting bathroom, it looks so tempting to just try to make yourself throw up, but you know JJ will hear, and you can’t bear to disappoint him. He just likes you so much.

You pull the sweats on, covering every bit of skin besides the sandals that cover your feet, your fingers that barely stick out of the oversized hoodie, and your face that is on full display as your ponytail pulls your hair back. You slip out of the bedroom quietly, hoping that JJ was already back in the boat, but there he was, his goofy, fun-loving smile playing at his lips while he hears the door creak.

aren’t you warm?

“Y/N?” JJ asks when he sees your oversized clothes, his smiling dropping into a look of concern, “You know it’s August, right? It’s, like, hotter than Hell.”

“Yeah, I just got a chill or something. Might not swim today.” JJ cast one last glance of uncertainty before throwing his arm over your shoulder and walking out of the back door towards the boat with you, bumping your hips together as you walked.

aren’t you sweating up a storm?

Kie jumped up when she saw your and JJ’s shadow from behind the back screen door, excited to see you in your new suit because she’s wearing hers too. Her expression drops when she sees your sweater paws and your sweatpants. “Y/N? Aren’t you warm?”

“I’m freezing, guess I’m comin’ down with something,” you say, your voice becoming raspy as you look at the ground, feeling too self conscious at the idea of just being there, in a bikini, when Kiara and Sarah look that effortlessly good in theirs. You and JJ hop onto the HMS Pogue, settling into a comfortable position at the stern of the boat as John B pulls the boat away from the dock and across the marsh.

JJ leans his head slightly to rest his face in the crook of your neck as he starts to whisper sweet words to you about how gorgeous you look, whether you’re in a skimpy bikini or a fully covered in his sweats or in the dresses Kie lets you borrow when she drags you to the Midsummers parties so she isn’t alone.

are you aware that it’s hotter than hell out here?

You smile slightly as you prop your elbow up against your knee and rest your head in the palm of your hand. Sarah had veged out across one of the seats in the boat and is now fanning herself as sweat starts to collect at her hairline. “Phew, Y/N, aren’t you sweating up a storm?”

“I’m doing okay, actually,” you say, the drops of sweat forming a patch on the back of your hoodie. However, you can’t help but revel in how good it feels to cover up and not to worry about how you look.

Pope drops the anchor into the marsh as Kie, Sarah, John B, and JJ pull off their shirts to get to their swimsuits. They dive into the marsh as you lean over and rest your head on the edge of the boat. JJ stops just before he could follow Pope into the water. “You’re really not coming?”

maybe i would dress for the weather if i would feel better, but i have to tell them all i’m freezing

The sweat forming around your hairline and underneath your arms and on your back starts to accelerate as you become overwhelmed with another lie. You mumble under your breath as the fragment of your friend group swims farther away from the boat, “I would dress for the weather if I felt better, but I don’t.”

“What?” JJ asks, following your eyes with his, managing to secure eye contact with you despite your fidgeting glances. Fixing your gaze on the floor of the boat, you swallow and shake your head, refusing to repeat what you said, not wanting to have said it in the first place. “Feel better about what, Y/N?”

You look up at your boyfriend. Your boyfriend who would flirt with Kie before you two got together, calling her hot and gorgeous. Sure, JJ says the same about you, but he called her hot first and she made it clear that her door was closed. Crossing your arms over your chest defensively, you stand up, digging your toe into the rough vinyl you stood on out of nervous habit. As you straighten up, you suck in your stomach, almost involuntarily. “Look at me, J!”

“I’m looking!” JJ yells, his exasperation rolling off his tongue in the same way as sweat rolls down your back. “And I think you look beautiful, you’re perfect, so if this is about how you look, I don’t understand!”

“I don’t understand either!” You shout back, immediately biting your lower lip as you analyze what you just said. JJ’s expression contorts, his look of concern and confusion falling into one of realization and anger. He reaches out to you, grabbing the cuff of your hoodie and drawing you into him. He shifts his arms once or twice around your body, trying to avoid the places where you sweated through the fabric, but in the end he didn’t care about it.

“You don’t think you’re beautiful?” JJ asks softly, the volume showing an air of compassion and love, but his tone showing his anger at you for thinking of yourself that way. “You are.”

“You can’t just tell me I’m beautiful and expect me to believe it.” You retort, your eyebrows furrowing as you grasp your bottom lip with your teeth even harder, drawing blood in an attempt to halt your lips from quivering.

“Why don’t you believe it?” JJ inquires, his tone softening to concern instead of anger as he pulls you into a seat next to him.

“You have eyes--”

“Yes, I do.”

“I don’t look like Kiara and Sarah do, and they’re actually beautiful.” You say, your voice dropping to a whisper as JJ watches your every move, overanalyzing every little twitch your lip makes to avoid your eyes from spilling over and every time you subconsciously tug at the hem of your sweatshirt, making sure your tummy stays completely covered.

“Obviously you don’t look like them. They have different DNA, silly.” JJ says, attempting to get a laugh or even a giggle out of you, but you don’t budge. Your arms crossing over you tighter, whatever you can do to encase yourself in armor. “Y/N, just because you don’t look like someone who is beautiful doesn’t mean it takes away from your own beauty.”

“I know that.” You mumble as JJ reaches out to push the cuffs of your sleeves up to your elbows.

“You need to believe it. It’s like evolution. It is factual.” JJ insists, tracing images onto your wrists and twisting the bracelets that wrap around your wrist into different shapes. “Your hands help so many people when they’ve fallen and your arms have pulled up the anchor so many times.”

JJ motions for you to take your hoodie off, to which you begrudgingly oblige, immediately wrapping your arms around your torso in a hug as you do so. “Your stomach has eaten so many of my molding PB&J’s without complaint, and your abs have beaten Pope in a push-up contest.”

“My stomach complained, you just weren’t there for that part.” You say with a smile as you tease JJ, his hand coming to clutch his heart in fake pain. You laugh at his antics, only for him to pump his fist into the air in triumph for your laugh.

You shimmy off your sweatpants, showing your tanned legs. You curl into an upright fetal position, trying to hide your thighs and your stomach in one fell swoop. JJ lifts his hands to bring your knees in to lean against his stomach so he can draw circles around your kneecaps. “Your legs have taken you on so many fun adventures.”

Intertwining his fingers with yours, JJ pulls you up to a standing position, holding you an arms length away by your shoulders as you squirm, very aware a passing fisherman could see you. “And your body has danced at so many parties with me and swam to find great treasures in sunken boats.”

“Y/N, you are perfect. You’ve always been perfect.”

“You can’t expect me to--”

“You’re right, I can’t expect you to believe anything I’m saying because the only opinion that matters is your own. But, you are perfect to me and to the rest of the Pogues, and it is okay for you to be insecure about things. But, never, never ever, put yourself down because that shit hurts me too.”

no matter the season.

[jilyyall]

Animal Magnetism - Ch.1

Edward Cullen was not a normal teenager; of that I was certain. But knowing that did nothing to stop the pull I felt towards him. And if what he was saying was any indication, he felt some strange pull towards me, too. It was like we were magnets struggling against hope to stay apart. I only wondered what would happen when we inevitably collided.

Chapter 1. Shiny New Girl. Fanfiction.net / AO3 Intro/1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/

I sat up in bed and looked around my new-old room, the white comforter bunched up around my waist. Once upon a time, this had been my nursery. Of course the walls, painted a light lilac color, were dark in the dingy grey light streaming through the window. No surprise, it was raining outside.

I had been in this city for all of two days and already more rain had fallen than I had seen in my entire time down in Phoenix. Rain wasn't a bad thing in small, reasonable doses. But nonstop it was suffocating. I just had to remind myself to take deep breaths and everything would be fine. I closed my eyes and let the cool air fill my lungs before I forcefully blew it back out.

"Bella, honey, you have to come down soon or you'll be late for school!" Renee's voice drifted in through my locked bedroom door and I flopped back down against my pillow, and threw my arm over my eyes in an attempt to ignore her. "Bella, get up."

I forced a cough just loud enough for her to hear me through the door. "I'm not feeling too well. I think the climate here doesn't really agree with me. Maybe I should just move back to Phoenix. You and Dad are more than welcome to stay here, though."

Renee was silent for a moment and I could just imagine her guilty expression. She knew how I felt about this move and for the past few days, I had been playing heavily on her guilty conscience. It wasn't my normal go-to, but I figured if there was a chance it might work, then it was worth trying.

Suddenly, my door swung open – I guessed Charlie had a key to every door in this house laying around somewhere – and Renee was standing there, her expression no longer guilty; now she was annoyed.

"Get out of bed right now," Renee exclaimed, standing there in the doorway. I could feel my eyes widen in surprise as she yelled at me. "I have spent the past sixteen years of my life alone and I am just trying to fix some of my biggest mistakes. I am sorry that you had to leave your friends behind, but I am tired of doing everything by myself. The least you can do – really, honestly, the bare minimum – is get up and get dressed for school!"

I didn't think it was particularly fair of her to imply that she had been working alone all this time. She had my help, and we were always such a good team.

"I am happy that you and Dad are back together," I said in a very small voice. "But Forks? Why couldn't Dad move in with us? Mom, don't you miss the sun?"

God, I missed the sun.

"Bella, I am sorry that we had to uproot you from Phoenix, but your father has an established career here. He's the Police Chief, for God's sake! He couldn't just walk away from that and start over somewhere else. He needs to be here." Renee's voice softened as she spoke and tenderness filled her eyes as she sat on the edge of my bed. "And we need to be here with him. I'm sorry, honey, but you're going to school here."

"Maybe you need to be here with him, but I don't," I grumbled. Renee's face tightened and some of the tenderness left her as she guessed what my next statement would be. "Why can't I just stay with one of my friends? Madison already offered, and I'll come back for vacations…"

Renee stood from the bed, bringing my grumbling to an abrupt halt. The annoyance re-entered her expression. "If you aren't out of that bed and getting ready for school in five minutes, Isabella Swan, I swear you will regret it."

Less than an hour later, I found myself in the front seat of Renee's car, my arms crossed over my chest as I glared out at the school in front of me. I didn't understand why there were so many buildings when there were only a couple hundred students in attendance, all of whom seemed to be crowded under the awning right outside my window gawking at me.

"Oh, Bella, stop pouting," Renee pleaded, but I rolled my eyes and stepped out of the car without responding and slammed the door behind me as I hitched my bag more firmly over my shoulder and trudged through the rain towards the office, praying I wouldn't slip and fall.

I managed to reach the building without humiliating myself and, trying my hardest to ignore the curious looks I was getting from my new peers, pulled open the door to the office and walked up to the front desk. The receptionist, a portly woman with a stiff red bob was on the phone and signaled for me to wait a minute, so I stood there patiently, drumming my fingers on the desk in front of me. I looked around, trying to gain my bearings and immediately regretted it as I locked eyes with more than one curious student milling around under the cover of the large awning that extended from the office towards the small courtyard; I supposed if not for my arrival, it would have been your typical morning here.

I started to turn away in avoidance of all this unwanted attention, but something caught my eye and held my attention outside of the office. There were five… people – students, I guessed, though I would have thought that impossible were it not for the book bags each of them was carrying – standing in the far corner, closest to edge of the awning. They all stood out from the rest of students around them.

Their skin was pale, paler than anyone else's in this sunless hell-hole. They were all devastatingly beautiful and I let my eyes wander over each of them. The first one my gaze was drawn to was huge, a giant of a man. He looked more like a professional football player than a student. His curly hair was a dark brown. I'd never thought the word beautiful could possibly apply to a man so large and brawny, but he certainly was.

Standing next to him in a clearly possessive fashion was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Her thick blond hair cascaded down her shoulders, curling inward at the ends. She stood only an inch or so shorter than her football player counterpart. One word came to mind as I studied her: confidence. She was the type of woman who knew how gorgeous she was, and owned it.

Next was a tall blond-haired man. He was muscular, but nowhere near as built as the first guy, and taller. He looked like the most reserved of the group, eyes angled downward, sort of like he was nervous, but it seemed every muscle in his boy was tense, anticipating. Something about him just screamed danger, like at any given minute he may spring into action and lay waste to us all. He, of all his companions, seemed to want least to be here.

Next to him was a cute miniature person. Her hair was black as midnight, cropped short; it just reached her collarbone and spiked out in every direction. Out of all of them, she looked most comfortable standing there as she turned her head to speak to the blond boy, her lips moving so quickly I was sure I wouldn't have caught a word she'd said if I were standing right next to her. The boy she spoke to didn't even glance at her, but shook his head in response to whatever she said and I got the impression that he was rather bothered by her words. She watched him for a moment before turning to walk away from the group, her gait smooth and graceful and every bit the way a ballerina might move across a stage, until she suddenly froze, her gaze going blank as she stared ahead of her.

The blond boy moved quickly to her and placed a hand beneath her elbow to steer her back toward the group as the other couple continued to stare away from her, looking totally uninterested in whatever was going on with their friend. None of the other students milling around seemed to notice anything that these five were doing and they seemed to like it that way.

It seemed that whatever had happened was over already. Her lips were moving quickly again. None of her companions were looking at her, but I had the distinct impression they were all listening carefully. Confused, I turned to the fifth member of the strange group, surprised when my eyes met his dark ones. His bronze hair was disheveled, almost falling into his eyes, but it was too short to obscure them. He was tall and lanky, just barely taller than the blond boy, and much thinner, but it seemed to me that he was still very strong, just less obviously so than the other two boys. His tan sweater hugged his chest and biceps, straining just enough to hint at the musculature beneath. I forced my eyes back up to study his face more closely and was struck by the realization that he was absolutely stunning. All of the five were startlingly beautiful, but this boy's good looks far surpassed the rest. Even the perfect blond girl was less stunning than he.

Suddenly, I realized that the eyes of each and every one of them were on me and I blushed, and dropped my gaze to the floor as I turned quickly to look at the receptionist, who had just hung up the phone.

"Can I help you, dear?" she asked, looking at me expectantly. I cleared my throat, still embarrassed to be caught staring, and nodded.

"Yes. I'm new here. I just need to get my schedule," I said softly.

"Ah. You must be Isabella Swan," the receptionist said. She picked up a piece of paper on her desk and studied it briefly.

"Bella. Yes," I said, trying to reign in the flash of annoyance at the sound of my full name.

"Bella Swan," she corrected herself, holding the paper out to me. "Here you go. This is your class scheduled and a map of the school. You should be able to find your way around, but if you need help, I'm sure any of your peers would be thrilled to show you around. I hope you have a good first day here at Forks High."

I took the paper from her with a murmured thanks and a forced smile before I turned around. I immediately noticed that the mysterious group was still there, but only two of them were looking at me still: the beautiful boy with the bronze hair and the small, waif-like girl.

She looked apprehensive as she watched me push the door open and the boy looked frustrated, confused… and a bit pained. Though they looked casual, and all were staring off in different directions, I did notice that each of his companions had moved, surrounding him almost protectively. The two muscular boys were on either side of him, their backs to me, and the blond girl was standing directly in front of him, angled sideways with her shoulder almost touching his chest. Only the small pixie-like creature who was also watching me hadn't moved from where she stood behind him. It almost looked like they were blocking him in, not protecting him, I realized. Protecting everyone else? From him? But that didn't make any sense. He was just a boy. What could he possibly do?

I furrowed my eyebrows and forced myself to look away and almost ran right into an eager-looking boy with blond, spiky hair who was grinning down at me.

"Oh… hi," I said, wondering why this boy was standing so near me.

"I'm Mike Newton. Are you new here?" he asked, sticking his hand in the limited space between our bodies as if for a handshake.

"Yes," I said tersely, and just barely managed to avoid rolling my eyes. Of course I was new here. There were maybe four hundred students here across all four grades. Everyone probably already knew each other and, if they weren't personal acquaintances they had to at least know of each other. "I'm Bella."

As reluctant as I was to make a place for myself here, I couldn't bring myself to be outright mean to anyone. I sighed and looked down at my schedule. English with Mr. Mason in building three. At least I wasn't starting out with a terrible class.

"Can I help you find your first class?" Mike offered.

I stared at him for half a second, tempted to refuse – something in his eagerness made me uneasy and even if I wasn't after making friends here, I had a feeling I wouldn't want to encourage him. I did not, however, feel much like wandering, lost, in search of building three. It wasn't a large school – nothing here was large except for the expansive forest and water on either edge of town – and I could read a map as well as the average person, but it seemed overall easier to accept this one small offer of assistance.

"Sure," I said, making myself smile at him, a quick upward turn of my lips before I handed him my schedule. "Thanks."

"No problem!" My new companion said cheerfully, taking the paper from me. "Okay, so building three is over this way!"

Frowning, I tried to listen to him as he rambled endlessly, but I couldn't concentrate, frustrated as I was with myself. How was it that I had managed to get myself stuck with a guy who was basically an over-eager puppy dog leading me through the gloom of drizzle and soaking grass. Something told me I wasn't going to find it very easy to avoid him as he turned his head to beam at me, still speaking, telling me about his own schedule. We had Government, Biology II, and Gym together, apparently.

"I could swing by after American History," Mike offered as he opened the door to a building with a large numeric three painted in the corner. "Walk you to Government so you don't get lost."

"Oh, that's okay. I think I can find it. You don't need to go to the trouble," I said, but his smile never faltered as he stopped in front of a classroom. Looking past him, I saw that the room number matched what was on my schedule, and the walls were plastered with literary quotes. It eased my worries, the familiarity of it all. Even here in small town, middle of rainy nowhere, an English class was still an English class.

"No worries!" Mike said, already backing away. I realized he was probably going to be late to his own class if he didn't hurry, else he likely would have stuck around. "I'll meet you outside."

Before I could speak again, tell him I really didn't think it was necessary, he turned and moved through the light trickle of students who hadn't yet made it to class. I huffed out a breath and walked into class just as the second bell rang. Every single eye turned to me, then, all twelve – could classes here really be that small? – students, and the teacher.

"You must be Isabella," said the teacher, a tall, thin man with a rapidly receding hairline. The nameplate on his desk identified him as Mr. Mason.

"Bella," I said softly, but nodded. He handed me a class syllabus, and smiled at me, trying to make me feel comfortable, probably, but I could see the curiosity in his gaze. Here I was Chief Swan's mysterious daughter, not just any new student. Although, I couldn't imagine Forks High regularly saw many new students.

When he ushered me to an empty desk in the back of the class without making me introduce myself, I felt the knot of anxiety, heavy in the pit of my stomach, loosen exponentially. Safe for an hour.

I studied the syllabus as Mr. Mason called the class's attention to him and started to recap the last lesson: Bronte, Shakespeare, Faulkner, Chaucer… I had already read some of the titles listed and didn't see anything I wasn't already familiar with, at least on a basic level. The knot loosened a bit more. Maybe… just maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

When the bell rang and everyone began gathering their books, I took my time, flattening my slightly rumpled class schedule and comparing it to the small, blurry school map I hadn't had much time to study. Mike said he would meet me outside, but I didn't want to rely on anyone overmuch. I walked slowly to the door, trailing behind the last couple of students.

"You're Isabella, right? Chief Swan's daughter?"

Looking up, I saw yet another helpful face, and almost grimaced. Two boys trying to help the poor distressed damsel in one hour? Maybe everyone here was just that friendly, I thought doubtfully.

"Bella," I corrected.

"Bella," he repeated, almost obediently. "I'm Eric. Eric Yorkie. Can I help you find your next class?"

"Um…" He looked nice enough – glasses, skin problems, hair nearly as dark as the girl with the spiky hair and graceful gait I had seen earlier. His limbs were long, too long for his body, as if he were still growing in quick, sporadic bursts, and he had a cheerful, helpful smile. He looked nothing like Mike Newton who was almost Nordic with his blond hair, blue eyes, and boyish features, but something in his smile reminded me of my first tour guide. "I don't want to put you out, but you could point me in the right direction, I guess."

He took my schedule from my hands, the paper slipping through my fingers quickly as he drank in the words. Maybe it was just my imagination, but he looked almost disappointed when he said that he was headed toward building four, but would be happy to show me the way to building six.

"Hey, Bella!"

Turning, I saw Mike rushing toward us. I tried to keep my face neutral when I saw the annoyed, almost dismayed look on Eric's face when he saw Mike, but dread coursed through me.

"Hi," I said when he caught up.

"What's up, Mike?" Eric sounded almost dejected and I wondered if he thought Mike might have some sort of moronic claim on me now.

"Hey, man," Mike said in a way that made me think that, while they may not be particularly close, these two boys were friends. He turned to me quickly, flashing that smile that only made me want to run away. "What's up, Bella? I thought we were walking to Government together."

"Oh, yeah, well… Eric was just pointing the way," I said, internally cringing at the awkward moment.

"We have English together," Eric said, almost boasting, immediately cheered by my less than enthusiastic reception of Mike.

"Building four is the other way," Mike reminded Eric, who glared at him.

Oh yeah, these two were definitely some type of friends… perhaps friendly rivals… if Mike knew Eric's schedule well enough to be able to helpfully point out that he, Mike, could help me out much more conveniently.

I was at a loss for what to say as they continued to stare at each other. So, instead of saying anything, I just turned in the direction Eric had started to lead me, and walked away.

"Bye, Bella!" Eric called. "I'll see you at lunch!"

Frowning, my back to him, I nodded. I heard Mike rushing to catch up to me, and found myself tuning him out as he started talking the moment he fell into step with me.

"Anyway, Eric's nice and all, but he's kind of weird, if you know what I mean," Mike was saying as he led me into our Government class.

I had never been so eager to meet my teacher. I all but ran from Mike's side and up to the sturdy desk in the front of the room to collect my syllabus from Mr. Jefferson. Once again, I wasn't forced to introduce myself to the class, though Mr. Jefferson did loudly suggest I get someone's notes so that I would be caught up for the test on Thursday. Immediately, Mike waved at me.

Once again, the only open desk was in the back of the classroom, several seats away from Mike Newton. With a sigh of relief, I angled my body away from him and began to doodle on my syllabus. When the bell rang at the end of the period, I was shocked – I had hardly noticed the passage of time, but my mindless art had shifted from mere doodles to a shockingly detailed, breathtakingly handsome face. I was no artist, really, not like Renee who made a living teaching, critiquing and occasionally creating art, but there was no mistaking the strong jaw, the messy hair, the intense gaze staring up at me.

Flustered, I hid the page away and shoved it to the bottom of my bookbag as I hurried to the door. How had I managed to draw him in such detail? I hadn't spoken to him, hadn't even seen him up close, but I knew, somehow, that down to the slight cleft of the chin, I had gotten every detail of the beautiful, bronze-haired boy I had seen for the briefest moment this morning.

This time, when Mike led me the short distance from building four to building five for my Trigonometry class, I was grateful for his incessant talking. It allowed me to ponder how, exactly, I had drawn him so clearly, and why. Mike left me at the door to the classroom, looking slightly put out. Apparently, he had noticed that I wasn't paying attention to him. Feeling guilty, I smiled and thanked him for showing me the way. He perked up immediately and brushed off my thanks with a promise to see me at lunch.

"I'm headed back to building one, so I won't be able to walk you to Spanish," he said apologetically. "But it's in building seven, right on the other side of the Government building."

"Thanks, Mike," I said again, waving as I headed into my class. "See you."

Mr. Varner, the Trigonometry teacher, was not as kind as the rest of my teachers. He made me wait next to his desk until everyone arrived, then had me introduce myself to the class. Only once I had stammered my name did he show me to an empty desk, again in the back of the room.

I slid shakily into the chair and rested my overheated face in my shaky palms.

"Hey… Bella?" I lifted my face to see the girl next to me smiling at me not unkindly. She had wildly curly brown hair and the most obviously fake spray tan I had ever seen. Her teeth were straight, and bright white. "Don't worry. Varner's sadistic. He made us all go around the room and introduce ourselves on the first day. As if we don't already know each other."

I smiled tentatively. She looked like she wanted to say something else, but Mr. Varner called on her to solve a problem on the board. She frowned, and then gave me a look that clearly said, See? Sadist, and walked confidently to the front of the class.

The knot in the pit of my stomach had tightened and about doubled in size, it felt, and had me trembling all over, but when my friendly neighbor smiled at me as she headed back to her seat, I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down. It was just high school. No big deal.

She turned to me as soon as the bell rang. "I'm Jessica Stanley," she said as we both shoved our books in our bags. "What's your next class?"

"Spanish," I said without consulting my schedule. I had it memorized by now. "Building seven with Mrs. Goff."

"Hey, me too. We can walk together," Jessica offered.

This, at least, wasn't as uncomfortable as walking next to Mike or Eric. At least it was less likely that Jessica might try to make a pass at me. She talked incessantly as we walked, and so quickly that I almost didn't catch everything she said.

"Mike was talking about you nonstop in American History earlier," Jessica said so nonchalantly that it was clearly anything but an off-the-cuff remark. "I swear Lee wanted to strangle him."

Jessica liked Mike. It was obvious in the way she forced a nervous chuckle and rolled her eyes, then watched carefully for my reaction. Hopeful, like she wanted me to reassure her that I didn't have any interest in Mike. Wary, like she was worried I would start raving about the boy she wanted.

I just frowned and shook my head. "Boys."

"Boys," she agreed, rolling her eyes.

Spanish was uneventful. Mrs. Goff didn't make me introduce myself, just handed me a class syllabus like all my other teachers, and assured me that she would answer any questions I had. I sat, once again in the back of the room, and wiled away the hour doodling. This time, when the hour was up, my doodles were nothing but messy lines outlining the page.

"You should sit with me at lunch," Jessica offered. "I can introduce you to all my friends."

It could have been just my imagination, but when she said 'introduce you' it almost sounded like 'show you off.' Still, I accepted her offer and followed her to the cafeteria, where we stood in line to get our food.

As we walked through the crowded cafeteria with our trays, I noticed them again: the five strikingly attractive people I had seen through the window while I'd been getting my schedule. We were going to walk right past their table. Though I couldn't help but feel somewhat giddy at the idea of being so near him, I tried not to look at any of them; I'd been caught watching them once already, I didn't need it to happen again. Even trying my hardest to stare straight ahead I saw, unmistakably, how he stiffened when we walked past. The boy with the bronze hair sat ramrod straight in his seat, his hands clenched into fists on the table in front of him. When he turned his head, ever so slowly, to glare at me with intense unadulterated hatred, all four of his companions looked at me as well. His eyes were pitch black and surrounded by dark circles, his lips set in a hard scowl.

I froze in my tracks, terror coursing through every inch of my body, before a sudden wave of determination washed over me. I had to get the hell away from them, from him. I was still terrified, but I rushed to catch up with Jessica, who hadn't noticed me pause, and was still talking about the Girls' Choice dance later in the year, and how she thought she might ask Mike to go with her.

When we stopped at a nearly full table near the middle of the room, Jessica smiled brightly and gestured for me to sit next to her.

"Hey, guys! This is Bella!" she announced, excitement dripping in her voice. It was clear she thought it was some sort of accomplishment that she was the one to bring me to the table. She ran through introductions so quickly that I wouldn't have been able to keep up even if I hadn't just had the life scared out of me.

Several minutes later, when the table was full of female chatter, I worked up the courage to look over my shoulder. He was still glaring at me. None of his friends were looking at me, but the big one had an arm slung over the younger one's shoulder in a way that would have looked casually affectionate if not for the way he was watching me. I had the distinct impression that the big one was putting in great effort to hold his friend in place.

I looked away and concentrated on playing with my food rather than eating it. Suddenly, I wasn't hungry. A while later, when I guessed the bell was about to ring to signal the end of lunch, I turned to Jessica in what I hoped was a casual manner.

"Who are they?" I asked, pointing over my shoulder without looking.

"Who?" Jessica asked, looking over my shoulder, but it was clear from the tone of her voice that she had already guessed whom I was talking about. She smiled wryly and leaned in close to me, lowering her voice to a hushed whisper. "Oh, those are the Cullens."

"The Cullens?" I asked.

"Yeah, they're Dr. Cullen's adopted kids," she said. "They're all related. I mean, sort of. The two blonds? They're twins, Jasper and Rosalie Hale. I think the doctor and his wife only adopted them a few years ago, not long before they moved here. The brunettes are Emmett and Alice Cullen. They're brother and sister. Technically, they're Dr. Cullen's niece and nephew, but his brother and sister and their spouses died like five or six years ago, I think? And he legally adopted them, so they're his kids, too."

"Oh." I frowned. That was only four. There were definitely five of them. I didn't want to ask, though, and show too much interest.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "They're kind of weird, honestly. Like, perfectly polite and all, I guess, but weird."

"Weird how?" I asked. I wanted to ask if coal-black eyes and unprovoked murderous glares were the norm for that group, but she had said they were always polite and the way he had looked at me was anything but.

"They keep to themselves a lot," she explained. "I don't think any of them have any friends except for each other. And they're all together."

She gave me a significant look, like I was supposed to think something of that. When I didn't react, she went on. "Rosalie's with Emmett, the big burly guy. And Alice – the little one? – is with Jasper, who always looks at least a little bit in pain. It's weird, right? That they all live together, and they're all dating?"

"I mean, if they're not actually related, I don't see why it's anyone's business," I said with a shrug, but I couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't said anything about the fifth one – the boy with so much hate in his eyes.

"Huh, I wonder where Edward went," she whispered then, and I watched her face as she scanned her gaze across the cafeteria. "He's Emmett and Alice's cousin, another one of Dr. Cullen's nephew-sons. He's totally gorgeous, but for some reason, he won't date anyone. Not even Lauren, and she tried really hard to get him to notice her when they first transferred here."

She lowered her voice and leaned in even closer so that she was all but breathing the words in my ear, obviously not wanting her friend, Lauren to overhear. I glanced around the table, trying to remember which one was Lauren. My gaze fell on the blond girl across the table talking to one of the boys a table over, a flirtatious smile on her pretty face.

"Hey, Bella!" someone said happily and I heard a quick scrape as someone pulled a chair out to sit in the empty seat on Jessica's other side.

"Hey, Mike!" Jessica exclaimed, leaning away from me and towards him. I looked up and nodded at him, happy to let Jessica attempt to distract him.

When I was sure neither Jessica nor Mike was looking at me, I risked one last glance over my shoulder. Sure enough, there were only four now, sitting at the table. The one who had looked like he hated me – Edward – was no longer there. The little one, Alice, turned her head suddenly to stare at me, and her sharp gaze went blank and unfocused again. Her boyfriend leaned close to her and wrapped an arm around her as he continued to look around the room as if nothing was out of the norm. Suddenly, her eyes came into focus again, and she beamed at me before turning to speak to her table quickly. Then, she got up and all but danced out of the room. After a brief pause in which all three of them looked slightly stunned, Jasper followed her.

When the lunch bell rang a few seconds later, I followed Mike to Biology, where Mr. Banner pointed me to the only empty table in the room. Mike came to sit next to me. A little annoyed, I turned to him with one raised eyebrow.

"Do you sit here?" I asked. Mike wasn't so bad, really, if you had someone to share his attention. It just seemed like being one-on-one with him might begin to wear on me.

"Nah, I sit over there by Tyler," Mike said, gesturing toward an empty seat a few tables away, next to a tall, lean, good-looking boy with short brown hair. "But maybe Cullen will switch with me."

My heart stopped. "Who?"

"Edward Cullen. This is his spot. He's the only one smart enough to do all the labs on his own, so Mr. Banner has always let him sit alone." Mike looked around the room as if expecting Edward Cullen to suddenly appear. "I wonder where he is. He was in American History this morning."

"Maybe he's just running late," I said weakly.

Maybe he's avoiding me, said a small, scared, sad voice in my head.

"Maybe," Mike allowed. But when the second bell rang and Mr. Banner told Mike to go back to his own seat, Edward Cullen still hadn't arrived. I was relieved – I didn't particularly want to spend an entire hour mere inches from a boy who seemed to hate me on sight.

Gym last period was horrible. It was Mike's last class of the day as well, so he walked me there, talking excitedly about getting to play basketball today. Apparently, Monday was basketball day at Forks High.

"You can be on my team," Mike reassured me, sensing my trepidation.

"Trust me, you don't want that," I told him, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Fifteen minutes later, I had been delegated to the sidelines after accidentally hitting three people – one of them Mike – in the head with the basketball.

"Wow, Bella," Mike said, still rubbing the back of his head as we walked towards the parking lot after Gym. "No offense, but you really can't play basketball."

"I really can't do anything involving coordination or physicality," I said weakly, hitching my bag higher on my shoulder and twirling the adjustable strap between my fingers absently as I scanned the parking lot for Renee's car. "And I did warn you that you didn't want me on your team."

"Hey, it's no big deal. And don't worry, I'll still be on your team," Mike said as he stood next to me under the awning. "Do you need a ride home? I usually ride with Lee, but I'm sure he'd be happy to make an extra stop."

I shook my head immediately. Aside from finding it odd and a bit rude to offer to have his friend drive me home without consulting him, I also didn't want to give Mike any reason to think I might like him. Honestly, I didn't really dislike him; he seemed like he might not be the worst friend to have. He was certainly kind enough to take the literal hit of having me for a teammate. I just didn't see myself liking him the way that I thought he might want me to like him.

"My mom will be here soon," I said.

"Okay!" Mike said brightly. "But, hey. If you get tired of having your mom drive you around, you know where to find me."

"Thanks, Mike," I said, stepping up to the curb when I saw Renee pull into the lot. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I thought I heard him respond, but I had already pulled the hood of my jacket up against the slight drizzle and all I could really make out was the taptaptap of water against the slick material.

FFN / AO3

[isitgintimeyet]

The Ties That Bind

Thanks for all your feedback on the first chapter. I loved reading it all! I hope you enjoy the second chapter.

Once again thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge for the beta

Chapter 2 : A Recreational Activity (well, a few)

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.  -Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

Jamie groaned and hoped that the banging inside his head would stop soon. This was the problem with drinking wine. Generally Jamie tried to steer clear of ‘grape’ and stick to ‘grain’. However, last night, he had supped copious quantities of both and now was suffering the consequences. He stretched his hand out hoping to find a glass of water and possibly even two aspirins left on the bedside table by his more responsible alter ego yesterday. There they were. Gratefully, he sank back onto the pillows and waited for them to do their work.  

Parts of his alcohol-induced dreams came back to him… miles and miles of hotel corridors and he was chasing, chasing... a woman with the most gorgeous legs he had ever seen. He kept chasing her, but she wouldn’t stop and she wouldn’t turn round. A flash of wild dark curls and…

The banging in his head seemed to be louder now. “Unca,” a cross little voice added to the general cacophony. “Unca, get up now. Mam says now. ‘Tis beckfast and then ‘wimmin’. Mam says.”

Jamie forced himself out of bed. Fastening the towelling bath robe, he opened his door. His little nephew rushed past him and started jumping on the bed. Jenny stood in the doorway, her eyes darting all round the room.

“I go ‘wimmin’ with ye, Unca, wiv Spideyman shorts. What ye shorts, Unca?”

Jamie sighed and looked at his sister. “She’s no’ here. She didna stay. Nothing happened.” He grabbed Wee Jamie round his middle, lifting him high up in the air. “And who said I would take ye swimmin’, ye wee fishie?”

“Mam said so, she did.”

Jamie gently set his nephew on his feet. “Aye, well, yer mam makes an awfa’ lot o’ decisions fer the men in this family. But I guess I canna refuse, no’ if I ken what’s good fer me.”

**************

Claire lay on one of the day beds next to the swimming pool and wiggled her toes, admiring the newly applied scarlet polish. She set aside the copy of Hello! she had been skimming through and turned to Geillis.

“This was such a good idea of yours, G. Total battery recharge today… and we’ve even had the whole pool to ourselves. I don’t reckon we’ll be seeing any of that wedding party any time soon. Not if last night was anything to go by.”

“I am rather full of brilliant ideas,” Geillis agreed. “Although I feel we may have missed an opportunity last night. So many men...”

“... And no doubt so many wives and girlfriends!” Claire interrupted.

“Och, well,” Geillis dismissed Claire’s interruption. “Guess we’ll never know.”

“Anyway, so I’ve a body wrap, then hot stone massage in twenty minutes. I’m going to head into the sauna for ten minutes first. You coming?”

“Aye, may as weel. I don’t reckon there’ll be anything worth hangin’ round here fer today.” Geillis gathered up her belongings and followed Claire into the sauna.

**************

Jamie sat in the male changing room, blowing up his nephew’s armbands (Spider-Man, obviously a theme here) while Wee Jamie hopped excitedly from foot to foot.

“Now, afore we go in the pool, are ye sure you dinna need a wee? Ye ken what I told ye, as how if ye wee in the pool, the water turns bright blue?”

“Nah, Unca, c’mon now. Wanna go ‘wimmin’.” The little lad pulled his armbands up, grabbed Jamie’s hand and headed for the door. “C’mon, c’mon.” He paused and stared intently at his uncle. “Ye no Spideyman shorts?”

Jamie looked down at his blue checked board shorts and tried to look sad about this. “Sorry lad, I’m too big fer such a fine pair.”

As they entered the pool area together, Jamie looked around. It was totally deserted, which, Jamie thought, was hardly surprising based on the amount of alcohol that had been consumed the day before. An abandoned magazine lay on one of the day beds.

Wee Jamie pointed to a small passage way on the other side of the pool. “What’s ‘at?”

“Ah, nothing for ye. Just the sauna... it’s awfa hot and no’ fer children and the girls’ changing room is down there too. That’s definitely no’ fer us lads, eh?”

Following Jenny’s instructions to “wear the lad out, we want him tae sleep in the car going home,” Jamie stayed in the pool, playing with his nephew until he noticed the lad’s eyelids start to droop. He scooped him up and carried him back to the changing room, intending to just wrap him in a towel and leave the tricky drying and dressing to Jenny.

Wee Jamie held tightly to his uncle’s neck. “You fib, Unca. Ye did. I wee’d and I wee’d but no blue.”

Jamie chuckled. God, he loved this little lad something fierce and maybe someday, God willing...

**************

Claire picked up the two whiskies from the bar and made her way to the table where Geillis was sitting. The pub was quite empty at the moment, just a handful of people, like them, having a quick drink after work before heading home.

Geillis looked Claire up and down appraisingly. “Ye ken I love ye, Claire, but could you no’ wear something a bit, weel, more alluring when we’re out?”

Claire gazed down at her old jeans and plain black tee shirt. “G, I’ve been on my feet in theatre for the past 8 hours. I’m so knackered, you’re lucky I managed to change out of my scrubs and into this! Besides, however can I compete with your alllllluuure?”  She drawled the last word out jokingly. “Maybe you have the allure for both of us? I can be your duff.”

Geillis raised a quizzical eyebrow.  

“Designated ugly fat friend.” Claire explained with a smile. “According to the movie, every friendship group has one. You and me, we’re a friendship group, ergo, I must be it.”

“Claire, ye may be many things but fat or ugly never.” Geillis said, “Yer hair’s a wee bit wild, mind. Do ye no’ fancy a Brazilian blow dry?” She ran her fingers over her sleek strawberry blonde locks.

“And here’s me thinking a ‘brazilian’ was about a different part of my anatomy altogether!”

Geillis smiled, then a serious expression crept over her face. “But, Claire, ye dinna think ye’re fat or ugly really, do ye?”

Claire stared at the beer mat on the table, her fingers picking at it, ripping it into tiny shreds of paper. She really thought she’d outgrown that nervous habit.

“Well, no, but, it’s difficult to explain. Frank...” She could hear Geillis tutting at the mention of his name. “Frank had certain… er, expectations of how I should be. How I should behave, how I should look. The disapproval on his face if I took an extra roast potato, ordered dessert, poured myself another glass of wine. There was always someone younger, more self-controlled, thinner. So, for a while I tried to become the person he wanted me to be. I tried to see myself through his eyes and I saw the fat arse, the lack of control, the not-really good enough...”

Geillis leaned closer and gently placed her hand on Claire’s. “Thank God ye got out of there. That wasna a healthy place tae be, Claire. Ye know ye’re worth a lot more than that.”

“I know. And I am joking about that duff business but occasionally, old habits are hard to break. That’s why I’m not after a serious relationship. I’m not sure I’m ready to let someone see me as I really am.”

“But a fling will do ye no harm at all. It will do ye the world of good, let ye see how another man treats ye. In fact, we need a list. A checklist. When ye’re in theatre, ye dinna start cuttin’ till ye know everything is in place, all the boxes are ticked. So we make a list of what ye want and ye dinna start, er, flingin’ till a man ticks all the boxes.”

Claire finally put the mangled beer mat down. “A list, really?”

“Aye, it’s scientific, ye ken.” Geillis picked up her bag and rooted around for a piece of paper. Finding an unused paper napkin, she smoothed it flat on the table, extracted a pen from the depths of her bag and sat poised ready to write. “Ok. Point one…” She scribbled something down quickly.

“Come on, Let me read it.” Claire laughed, turning the napkin round. “Must look good in, and out of, a kilt. G, you have a one-track mind.”

“Och, it’s a fling we’re talking about, ye only need one track, I reckon. So, what about point two?”

“Well, I may as well play along. Point two must be no complications.”

Geillis obligingly wrote that down. “Next point. Enjoys a drink. Likes to let his hair down.”

Claire took the pen from her friend and added another line. Geillis read it upside down. “Really, it’s a fling ye’re after. Ye’re tellin’ me if they dinna like the X-Files, that’s it? Is that a deal breaker?”

“What can I say? The heart wants what the heart wants.”

“Fine, but I’m adding this one then. Fancies ye as ye are. No changing ye.”

The pub was starting to fill up. Most commuters had already made their way home, to be replaced by those heading out for the evening, coming into the pub for a quick drink before their evening plans properly began. Even on a drizzly Thursday evening, it was getting to be standing room only. Claire noticed several people eyeing their table enviously. She drained her whisky glass and stood up.

“I think that’s me done for this evening. Any more and I’ll have to be put to bed right here.  I’ll just pop to the loo and meet you outside, G.”

As Claire crossed the room to the toilets, Geillis started to gather her stuff together to leave.

Immediately a woman rushed to the table, plonked herself in one chair, and stuffed her bag on the other chair. She eyed Geillis, willing her to hurry up and be on her way. Geillis ignored her and continued rifling through her bag, her movements deliberately slowing. Eventually, Geillis decided she’d had enough of the game, turned away and walked to the exit.

**************

Geneva caught Jamie’s eye as he moved away from the bar, drinks in hand, and pointed to the seats she had found for them. He sat down, taking a deep slug of his whisky as he put Geneva’s vodka, lime and soda on the table next to a tatty old napkin.  

“Someone’s shopping list, no doubt.” Geneva dismissed it with a wave of her hand as Jamie picked it up and carried on telling Jamie about the difficulties in trying to find the correct colour for a new bedroom throw. “...Not really a teal, but not quite a cerulean colour either…”

Jamie knew his role in this. It was just to nod and murmur appreciatively at appropriate points in the story. That gave him time to think… unfortunately. Thinking made him realise that Jenny had been right three weeks ago at the wedding. Geneva was not the one, he didn’t need to try again just to see. And she did talk utter shite.

He groaned, which Geneva seemed to take as indication of his deep interest in her tale of home furnishing trials and tribulations. He should never have slept with her. He hadn’t intended to but last night, as the blood left his brain and migrated south, he had lost the capacity for rational, coherent thought and had followed his baser instincts. Which had been a very bad idea.

Jamie glanced at the napkin he was still holding. Straightening it between his fingers, he began to read. A woman with long strawberry blonde locks suddenly leaned over and gently took the napkin from his fingers.  

“Thanks, it’s fer scientific research, ye ken.”  

He watched as she walked to the door, to her waiting friend. Her friend with the long shapely denim clad legs and mad curly hair and her face, so full of life with sparkling eyes he longed to dive right into.

“What an odd thing to want.” Geneva interrupted his contemplation. “That couldn’t have been scientific research. On a used napkin. Some people are just strange.”

Jamie felt his breath catch in his throat. Jenny had been right - he recognised it. What to do now?

[justjen523]

Perilous Paradise

Rating E (18+)

Chapter 6

How To Say “Sorry”

"Sit."

"...okay?" The expression he was donning made me simultaneously excited and terrified. He disappeared behind me and I sat incredibly still, nervous of whatever he was doing or about to do. He was so silent I began to turn around and jumped when I heard the close proximity of his voice telling me not to move.

"What are you doing?" I inquired nervously and yelped when his next words were spoken softly in my ear.

"Hmm. I wonder." He teased before I felt the bristles pull gently through my hair. I sighed happily at the exquisite feeling as he continued. I honestly couldn't remember the last time someone else brushed my hair like this. It felt so heavenly.

"Such a spoiled Princess." He cooed continuing to gently pull the brush through my hair.

"You like it when I touch you like this hm?"

"Yes.... it's so wonderful." I didn't have to open my eyes to see the smirk I have come to know so well.

"Don't get too excited, I am merely trying to apologize for strangling you earlier." There was an adorable sort of embarrassed edge to his voice and he was already forgiven. After it had happened and I had time to sort through my feelings I had to accept the reality of the situation. I fell in love with a man who would require a very different sort of love and relationship. Any of the usual rules went out the window with Unknown. He was unpredictable and borderline insane, but there was still enough left to be able to love and that made him incredibly unique and special.

"Okay my turn!" I sprung up leaving him momentarily dumbfounded. After a few quick blinks his brows furrowed and he leaned away from me.

"I don't need my hair brushed, I'm not a girl." I giggled at the aggravated expression staring at me.

"I don't want to brush your hair." He still regarded me skeptically as an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"Can I...... just look at you?" His posture began to relax though his expression remained the same.

"Yeah sure......look all you like beautiful." He still seemed guarded but allowed me to push him onto the chair. I gave him a gentle smile to let him know I was no threat.

"This is weird." He grumbled and I laughed cupping his cheek.

"May I sit then?" A crooked smile filled his handsome face.

"You want to sit on my lap Princess? Come, tell me how naughty you've been this year." Giggling, I straddled his lap facing him bringing us very close. It wasn’t the first time we had been so close face to face but it was the first time I was able to take the time to appreciate his features. 

His skin was so pale it resembled porcelain. His lips were a soft, pale pink pressed thinly together. His nose perfectly proportioned to his face. Freckles dusted his high cheekbones that made his face look thinner than it obviously was. White, silky strands of hair fell haphazardly across his forehead and pink tips dodged carefully around his thick black lashes. His eyes. My God his eyes. Pale green irises with barely noticeable flecks of gold around his pupils. He had such beautiful markings that appeared to encircle his pupil midway through his iris. He was the most exotic and beautiful creature I had ever seen.

 My eyes softened as I gazed at him lovingly, bringing my other hand to help hold his face tenderly in my hands. 

“You, whoever you are, are beautiful.” He smirked at me allowing the compliment to go straight to his head.

“I don’t mean just your looks. You. Your heart is beautiful.” His expression faltered, the cocky confidence slipped away and for a moment I saw his raw emotions. There was no way he would allow that to last of course and so his hands quickly tangled in my hair as his lips crashed into mine.

"Nnnmm...." His hands gripped my thighs squeezing firmly as our tongue's tangled together heatedly. He lit my blood on fire. His smell, his taste, his touch. I have never wanted someone so much in all my life. He was lethal and that made it so much hotter. He roughly pulled my hair, jerking my head back so my neck was exposed to him. His hot breath lingered a moment before he sunk his teeth in. When I whimpered he chuckled against my skin.

“Silly Princess. Did you honestly think I was going to be gentle with you? If so you’re a complete idiot. You should know by now, there is nothing soft or sweet about me.” He left a trail of bite marks down my neck, all of which stung from where his teeth punctured the flesh.

“Am I still so beautiful to you now?” Ah, so that’s it. He doesn’t find anything about himself beautiful. He loves the darkness. Without warning I rake my nails hard all the way down his chest causing him to hiss. Gripping the back of his head I yank before leaning in and drawing blood along his jawline.

“I love your darkness so give it to me. All of it. I like you how you are.” He leans away and observes me carefully a moment. His eyes narrow as he swipes his finger across the wound before pulling it into his mouth. A crooked grin and excited eyes hold my gaze as though he is challenging me to back down. Finally breaking the silence he barely whispers.

“You may regret saying that.” I just stare at him utterly fascinated and hopelessly charmed by this feral animal of a man. There is something just.... otherworldly about him.

"Are you even human?" I let slip and he chuckles clearly pleased with my thought process.

"Seriously. All of my instincts tell me to run. That you are dangerous and terrifying."

"You've got good instincts then."

"Are you going to hurt me?" He smiles wickedly as he contemplates my question.

"Maybe a little." There is a fire in his eyes that makes my heart pound and my breath hitch as I inhale sharply. He laughs wholeheartedly observing my reaction.

"Y-You like making me panic don't you?!" I snarl. He tilts his head back looking down his nose at me, a smug grin plastered to his face.

"Yes. It makes my dick hard every time you flinch. Every time you panic, scream, cry? My pants get.... uncomfortable."

"You're a pig." I snap in return. His smirk just widens and he sits forward bringing his forehead to mine.

"You're probably right. Though you're the one I know how to make squeal."

"Fuck you!"

"Yeah? You want my cock? Then beg me for it."

"How about you beg ME to actually let you fuck me."

"How cute! I love that you think I need to fuck you."

"Need? No. Want? Yes. Don't play games with me now. I know you want me."

"Mm. You're right. I definitely want you."

"See? I knew it!"

"To suck my cock."

"UGH! I hate you." He chuckles lovingly, running his fingers along my cheek.

"Aww Princess, don't be so angry. It turns me on you know." I'm so pissed I don't even realize what's happening before it's too late.

SLAP

I'm too shocked that I made contact to even say anything. I guess I thought for sure he'd catch it like he always did. His hand immediately covers the area where my hand collided with his face, looking at me wide eyed. He wasn't expecting that. The sadistic grin that quickly follows makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Tisk tisk Princess. Didn't I tell you before that it's bad manners to hit people? Guess you're eager to learn a valuable lesson." It happens so fast I have no time to react before I am bent over his knee, ass in the air.

"Y-you're joking right?!" His dark sounding giggle quickly informs me he is not.

"Mmmm. Such a shame. Look at this perfectly round and delicious ass. I would love to sink my teeth in. You however have been a very naughty girl and naughty girls don't get rewarded." My heart is pounding against my chest in panic at how far he's probably going to take this. To be honest, I was never physically disciplined as a child so I have no idea what to even expect.

His hand caresses the flesh of my back side rather reverently for someone who is threatening violence. Just when I think he was only fucking with me, his hand collides firmly with my ass causing me to yelp and wince at the sting that follows.

"Bastard! That really hurt!"

"The whole point of a punishment Princess."

"Tch. And to think I was actually going to suck your dick..." I feel his body tense at those words.

"Teasing is another punishable offense you know." I lift myself off of his knee and kneel between his legs. The smirk on my face is apparently enough to inform him that I am not simply teasing.

"Well now..... atonement will get you rewarded."

"I guess we'll have to see. I don't know if I will be able to handle the size of your cock. Because anyone with balls your size must have one hell of a dick to swing around." His grin widens and I watch his feline eyes darken and practically glow from this angle. Men are too easy sometimes.

"Help yourself gorgeous. It's all yours." It takes me no time at all to free him of his pants and my first impression shows easily on my face. He laughs as though he was expecting this exact reaction.

"Big enough for you? Hmm?" Wow. I feel like big is not an accurate description here. More like, never underestimate the smaller looking guys. Not only is it enormous, he has a piercing. I have never seen a man with his dick pierced before. It's actually kind of....sexy. It makes the entire ensemble a work of art. No way am I feeding his ego though. Instead I run my hand along his shaft and feel him come to life under my touch.

Curious, I swirl my tongue around the head before sucking the piercing into my mouth and tugging ever so gently. He growls approvingly and grabs a handful of my hair.

"Don't torture me Princess. If you're going to suck my dick, then do it." Guess he's got some built up tension. I smile at him keeping eye contact before nearly swallowing the entire length of his cock. He gasps at the sight and his lips part. There's no way I can take it that way over and over so I set a pace and let my hand pick up the slack where my mouth can't reach.

Hallowing my cheeks I increase the suction and the most delicious sounds spill from his lips. If I didn't know better, he sounded like a pure and innocent young man. That however couldn't be further from the truth. He may sing like an angel but goddammn he is the devil and I fucking love it.

His cock starts throbbing and is so hard now I know he's about to cum and I want it. I want it all.

"F-Fuck! I-Im... I'm gonna..." I merely hum in excitement and that is enough to push him over. He thrusts upward and holds the back of my head down releasing his load down my throat. I try not to choke and swallow it all even though there is so much.

"Fuck....yeah.......such a....good girl. I'm....nmm.... almost done..." He held me there until I had swallowed every last drop. When he finally released me I yanked my head up and coughed. He watched me reverently and it was the very first time I had seen him truly smile. Even his glowing, crystaline, pale green irises smiled with true contentment.

"You are redeemed my perfect girl. Come here." He patted his lap informing me he wished for me to sit on it once more. As I got to my feet he tucked himself back into his pants. As soon as I was close enough for him to touch he pulled me into his arms.

"Promise me you'll never leave me." He murmured into my hair before pressing a tender and gentle kiss to my temple.

"I'm not going anywhere Unknown. I'm your girl and I love you."

"Forever?"

"Yes."

"Say it."

"Forever."

"Mmm. Now get some sleep, we leave first thing in the morning. There's one more stop before we find the red head."

[katarinahime]

NaruHina, fluff “Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

Hinata stared down at her phone, having caught the haunting blue eyes of the guy across the bar for the third time. Which felt about like three too many times for Hinata’s overall comfort. Well, the very first time was fine, just an awkward, average, accidental eye contact with a stranger. An unavoidable experience sometimes. The guy wasn’t hideous either, on the tall side. Thin. White blonde hair, blue eyes. 

Blonde hair and blue eyes was Hinata’s type. Unfortunately. 

Having just gone through a horrendous breakup with a blonde, blue eyed artist with tattoos on his hands and chest, she wasn’t particularly interested with a new one in a shady bar. 

That’s the only reason she was in this creepy place to begin with. She had allowed Kiba and Shino (really it was just Kiba) to talk her into going out. Her “rebound”, Kiba had dubbed it. It was one of the incredibly unfortunate instances that Shino had not talked his boyfriend out of a stupid idea. And now they were running late. Kiba had sent an offhanded text about how it would be a “gay hate crime” if he didn’t show up looking his best. 

So Hinata, a widely known introvert, was sitting at the bar. By herself. And had made eye contact with someone. More than once. 

She could think of nothing worse than him hitting on her right now. 

Honestly, she didn’t even know how she got a boyfriend in the first place. She was so awkward. She’d probably spill her cranberry soda on herself, end up stuttering and leave. She was fairly sure that’s how it would go. A hundred percent sure. It had happened before.

She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and her heart sunk. 

‘No, no, no. Please god, no.’

She tried to take calming, yoga breaths. Anxiety and cigarette smoke swirled into her nose on a particularly deep inhale, making her feel nauseated. She took a deep sip of her cranberry soda like there was actual vodka in it. But there was nothing to save her.

“So what’s a girl like you doing here alone?” He asked, leaning in too close.

Hinata leaned back, trying not to be obvious about it. She had always tried to be a polite person. Which was probably why she knew she was going to get stuck talking to this guy for the rest of the evening. Or at least until Kiba and Shino showed up. 

They hadn’t even left yet.

Why, why did the guy’s opening line have to be so creepy? And commenting about her being alone?

She swallowed. “I-I-I’m waiting.”

Hinata tried not to hang her head in shame. Reverting back to stuttering? She hadn’t done that since high school. 

“Toneri Otsutsuki.” He held out his hand, though he was still standing barely and inch away from her. “Where are your friends at?” 

She started at his hand reluctantly before bringing hers to him. She was getting more and more uncomfortable with his questions. It felt like he was trying to zero in on just how alone she was. It felt predatory. She also could’ve been overreacting. His hand encased her own, and it felt cold, yet still clammy? And boney. She wasn’t going to shudder visibly, that would be rude. But she did want to snatch it back, which she felt like she couldn’t as he continued to hold it after they had shaken.

“I’m Hinata.” She bit her lip wondering just how much she wanted to divulge. She already trying to get her hand back with soft, gentle tugs. He wasn’t responding to them.

“Hinata.” Toneri smiled again, still holding her hand. She didn’t like how he had said her name.

She couldn’t look down at her phone. That would be rude. So she took another long drink of her alcohol-less beverage, regretting her drink choice. Regretting coming. Regretting a lot of things. She finally squirmed her hand back, wrapping it around her drink. Two hands. Like her first party in Ino Yamanaka’s backyard, holding her red SOLO cup like her life had depended on it. She’d heard horror stories about people spiking her drinks, though why she thought that could happened to her in little, sleepy Konoha with nobody but her graduating class at a tiny party.

But now, in the city, in a seedy bar, it felt like a much more raw possibility. Especially with someone like Toneri Otsutsuki lerking around. 

“They’re coming.” Hinata looked away, trying to give every non-verbal signal that she was finished talking.

“Well, I don’t mind keeping a pretty lady company until her friends arrive.”

Speaking about her in third person? Hinata grimaced.

“U-um, really, th-that’s not necessary. I’m fine.”

She could see his demeanor shift with the rebuff. He grimaced at her, his light blue eyes becoming icy. “I’m just trying to be nice. You don’t need to be a-” 

“Are you meeting someone here?” A deep, raspy voice interrupted.

Hinata and Toneri snapped over to where her new savior was standing. He was tall, and not just because she was sitting down. His hair was so blonde it almost looked yellow, and his eyes were bright sky blue. 

And she knew him.

“Because...” He continued, awkwardly ruffling the back of his hair, one hand holding the glass bottle of a beer with the other. “I think I’m that person.”

She could only stare at him, her mouth open. As he continued to stare at her, she realized that she was supposed to answer. Duh, Hinata. She shook her head yes, not even able to manage her stutter at this moment.

The blonde looked to Toneri, giving him the ‘better luck next time’ grimace/smile and tossing his thumb over his shoulder in the universal ‘beat it asshole’ signal.

Toneri frowned, obviously onto their improv exchange, but taking his loss in silent defeat. 

After he was out of hearing range, the man turned to her. “Sorry if I cock blocked you. You just looked super uncomfortable. I’m Naruto Uzumaki.” He held out his hand, laughing a little. 

Hinata looked up at him for a moment too long, drinking in his face. His whisker marks. He was thinner now, in adulthood. His cheeks and jaw more angular. But he was still beautiful.

“I know.” Hinata basically whispered. “We,” She started to stutter but she turned it into a pause, licking her lips. “We went to high school together.”

Naruto quirked an eyebrow at her, and Hinata’s cheeks burned in embarrassment. Of course he didn’t remember her-

“Oh!” He practically yelled. His eyes bulging out of his head. “Oh my god! Hinata?”

She nodded, looking down at the grimy counter, wondering what kind of pathetic loser Naruto could possibly remember. 

“You look, wow, you look so different.” He breathed. “But the eyes. Damn, how could I ever miss those?” He laughed again. “I’m so sorry Hinata. You really do look different.”

Hinata didn’t know how to take that. Did she look better? Worse?

“You look just the same.” Hinata countered.

“Ahh,” Naruto frowned. “I had hoped to get a little better looking.”

Hinata’s face burned. She had always thought he looked exceptional. 

“But wow. I remember your short hair, when you dyed it blue. That was so cool. So how are you? Last time I talked to Kiba, you were still in school. Dating that experimental artist? Or something?”

Hinata tried not to frown. “Yeah, I was. Not anymore though.”

“You graduated?” Naruto asked.

Hinata nodded. “Yeah, and I’m not dating the artist... anymore.” She took an awkward drink of her cranberry juice.

Naruto seemed surprised by this. “Oh really? You guys break up?”

Looking, down, Hinata nodded. She didn’t want to think about her ex. That was the point of this whole outing. She just wanted to hang out with her friends and forget. “Just recently.”

Naruto smirked. “Let me guess. Kiba drag you out, wanna get you on the rebound? Find you a new slam piece?”

Hinata looked away, embarrassed but laughed along with Naruto. It was strange how Naruto made her feel like they were back in high school. Back to being friends she joked with every day. Back to when life was a lot easier. A lot less complicated.

Back when she had the biggest, stupidest, most ridiculous crush on him.

She had thought it was love at the time. She wasn’t so sure later. Could you love someone at sixteen? She wasn’t sure. Had she loved anyone since then? She wasn’t sure about that either.

“And, he’s late. Shocker.” Naruto joked again.

That wasn’t new. She nodded. Yes, just like high school.

“What are you drinking? Vodka cran?”

“Uh, yeah.” She shook her head. “B-but, without the vodka.”

Naruto laughed but good naturally and shrugged. She expected him to insist on an alcoholic beverage. But he just ordered her a cranberry soda.

“If Kiba is with Shino, they wont be here for hours.” He muttered, more to himself.

Hinata nodded. Yes, this was very, very high school.

Naruto grabbed the drink from the bar tender, handing it over to Hinata. “Well, if Kiba is late to find you a new man, I’ll volunteer as tribute.”

“To be my wing man?” Hinata asked, for clarification. Since that was not at all what it had sounded like. 

Naruto shrugged, giving Hinata a wink. “Oh, we’ll see how where the night takes us, Hyuga.”

Hinata’s jaw dropped, staring up at the gorgeous blonde man as he gave her a mischievous smirk. He placed his hand on the small of her back, leading her away from the bar. 

[99redballoonsfloatby]

Bait and Switch - Part 1

Summary: She didn’t want to be his girlfriend, that’s why she chose the other option of being his...something else. 

Warnings: smut, obnoxious Hollywood celebrities, over use of the word “length” 

Author’s Note: Did you know “thrusted” isn’t a word? Apparently, it’s thrust. Just thrust. You would think a college educated woman would know that but nope...I spent thousands of dollars to not learn proper use of the English language. 

Also, thank you to everyone who got excited about the prologue! It just warmed my tiny heart to know people actually read this and enjoy it. So, thank you, you are fabulous. 

Prologue

She clutched her purse on her lap and glanced out the car window. Her first night in LA was supposed to be a quiet night at home, relaxing with her cousin, Cassidy, and unpacking the few things she would need to get by before she moved into her own apartment.

Instead, Cassidy had dragged her out of the house, tossed a designer dress at her and insisted she accompany her to the club.

“Jules…!” her cousin’s voice broke her out of her thought cycle quickly. “Are you even listening to me?”

Julia nodded, “yes, of course.”

The other girl scoffed, obviously not believing the lie.

“How do I look?”

Julia watched as Cassidy rearrange her boobs inside of the black dress she had poured herself into.

“You look great, Cass,” she smiled sincerely.

“Obviously,” she laughed and checked her hair in the mirror. “Are you slouching? You can’t slouch in my dress.”

Julia closed her eyes to keep from rolling them at her and sat up straight. She had gotten into town early in the morning, having flown through the night to avoid busy airports. Instead of picking her up at the airport, Cassidy made her take an Uber to her house. She had insisted that fans would have mobbed her if she was at the airport and Julia chalked it all up to Cassidy’s new personality that she had adopted now that she was the most sought after actress in Hollywood.

“Do I look ok?” Julia inquired as Cassidy took selfies on her phone.

Without stopping to look at her, she replied, “You look like a girl from Ohio in a designer dress.”

That wasn’t exactly the confidence she was seeking but Julia shrugged it off, like she often had to do with Cassidy.

“I’m going to get on TMZ tonight,” Cassidy smiled. “I’ll meet you at the bar, order me a cosmo.”

She emerged from the car to camera flashes and her name being called. Julia waited until she felt like everyone was distracted enough by Cassidy before exiting the vehicle. She made a beeline for the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey right away.

The alcohol burned its way into her senses and she closed her eyes and smiled. At least something in this strange town felt like home.

She ordered another drink, this time a jack and coke, and finally glanced around the huge club. It was nothing like the bars back home. This place was the size of her entire high school had been but was filled with flashing, bright lights and sweaty beautiful bodies. There was barely any room to walk or stand but no one seemed to notice.

After a third drink, she finally claimed a stool at the bar and Cassidy was no where to be found. She wasn’t worried, she was sure Cassidy could handle herself.

“You know,” a voice broke her from her thoughts, “I hear there is better alcohol up in the VIP lounge.”

She looked at the man standing beside her. A gorgeous brown haired, green eyed, nothing but legs and long fingers type of man. She bit her lip as he smiled and held his hand out.

“Bill,” his voice was as smooth as velvet and she as certain that he had the most beautiful name in the world. “Would you like to join me?”

She slid off the stool and steadied herself before placing her hand in his. “Julia.”

His hand was huge, her entire fist fit inside his palm and she found herself licking her lips in anticipation at the thought of what those hands could do.

“I don’t normally do this,” she mused as they found a couch in the almost vacant VIP lounge.

“And what exactly is that?” he asked as he waved the waitress over.

“Follow strange men into VIP areas and drink,” she laughed.

“What can I get you, Bill?” the waitress asked.

“What will it be, Julia?” he purred as he ran a hand down her arm.

“A beer? Coors light? Is that weird?” she laughed nervously and then bit her lip. Bill smirked, “not at all, I’ll have the same.”

The waitress hurried off and he moved closer to her. She took a deep breath, inhaling his cologne, electrifying her senses.

She wasn’t a stranger to attention from men but that was in a small town in Ohio. LA was different and she had full expectations to not date as soon as she moved here. She didn’t look anything like the women here. Her attractiveness was understated but she never let that bother her. She preferred to meet men who loved her mind more than her body.

“I had you pegged as a sex on the beach kind of girl,” Bill declared as if the twenty minutes that he had known her had told him everything he needed to know.

“Don’t count it out,” she winked at him as she picked her beer up off the table and took a sip. “How far is the beach from here?”

He laughed and nodded his head in a direction that must have been the beach. “Are you new to town?”

“Yeah, I just moved here about 12 hours ago. I got a job with Electronic Arts, the video game company.”

“That is far more interesting than I expected it to be,” he confessed.

“So basically what you’re saying is that you’re really bad at reading people?” she laughed. “You’re 0 for 2, Bill.”

He ran a hand through his hair and smiled down at her. “I’m usually much better at this. I could tell you would be interesting though. I could tell that when I saw you from all the way up here.”

She tucked her blonde hair behind her ear and blushed slightly. He moved towards her and placed a hand on her cheek.

“Do you have any idea how sexy you are?” he asked as he ran his thumb across her jawline. “And I know I’m not wrong about that so technically that makes me 1 for 3.”

She laughed loudly. “What should your reward be for finally getting a point?”

He looked down at her and moved in slowly for a kiss. “Stop me if you don’t want this.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she said as their lips finally collided.

His hands moved to her hair, his fingers combing through her long locks, dragging out the perfectly positioned curls that Cassidy insisted made her face look thinner.

Their lips moved in a slightly awkward rhythm for a second until they fell into a perfect dance, moving against each other. He cradled her head and she moved closer to him to show him that she didn’t want him to let go. Their tongues met with a fiery passion, getting acquainted quickly. He knew what he was doing and as they pulled back slighty, he bit her lip and smiled against her mouth. Neither of them moved for a moment, the shock of having such an amazing kiss still startling both of them.

“I have a car…” Bill started to say.

“Let’s go,” she stood up quickly, him following right behind her.

He led her out of the VIP entrance, away from prying eyes and hungry paparazzi. His car was parked in a private area, tucked away from the rest of the world. She practically fell into his back seat and he hurried on top of her, kissing her neck as their bodies adjusted to the small space.

She giggled as she looked as his cramped legs.

“Sit up,” she said as she pulled her dress up over her hips.

He obeyed, sliding out of his pants and boxers as he did. She crawled into his lap, her legs straddling his hips. He grabbed a condom, rolling it on quickly.

“I need you, Julia,” he whimpered as he pulled her against his chest. “You’ve been driving me crazy all night.”

She grabbed his length and positioned it at her entrance, completely forgetting about any type of foreplay, eagerness winning out over readiness.

She slid down on him slowly, gasping loudly as he filled her and then pushed even further.

“Wait, hold on,” she whispered against his neck. “I just need to adjust, I didn’t think you were going to be that big.”

Bill laughed before leaning in to kiss her. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

She rolled her eyes slightly but sunk back into the kiss. His hands wrapped around her hips and he slowly started guiding himself in and out of her, inch by inch, until she was able to take him fully without any pain.

Her whimpers were quiet but he could tell that she was completely ready for him. He thrust up into her, hard, and bit her neck gently. A guttural sound released from his mouth as she met his thrust and started moving faster, encouraging him to do the same.

His fingertips dug into her hipbones, grabbing onto her for better leverage and moving her so that he was entering her at the perfect angle.

Sweat was prickling across her skin and she tossed her head back to shake her hair away from her face. He took that opportunity to pull her dress top down and start sucking tiny marks on and around her boobs.

She grabbed his shoulders, her orgasm was approaching and her head was starting to float. His thrusts were growing frantic, ravenous and she knew he was close.

“Bill! Oh fuck, that’s it!” she cried out as her body started to clench around him.

Her orgasm pushed him over the edge quickly and he slammed into her a final time, coming hard and crying out in an almost virginal way.

She kissed him hard in between both of them catching their breath. She rested on his lap for another second and he opened his mouth to speak but was silenced when her phone started ringing.

“Fuck, that’s probably my cousin,” she said she rolled off his lap and sat next to him. “I have to go.”

She picked up her phone to see a handful of texts from Cassidy demanding she meet her at the entrance because she was ready to go home.

“Wait,” he said as he pulled out his phone. “I want to see you again.”

She typed her number into his phone and handed it back to him. “The ball is in your court, Bill.”

She adjusted her dress and then slipped out the back passenger door into the hot summer air.

Tag list: @krystiannap, @meemamar92, @bradragskills

[hellostarlight20]

Christmas Present 3/3

For @lizziea2 who asked for: Could I ask for some Christmas fluff for the TARDIS family of the Doctor, Rose and Jenny after the events of “I will….”? And @kelkat9 who wanted: Christmas Prompt: I Will Verse; Ten/Rose; The Night They Saved Christmas

Takes place in The Adventures of Bad Wolf and the TARDIS…and their Doctor a month after the events of I Will... Yes, you should read those, but it’s not 100% necessary. What you need to know: Bad Wolf Rose. Yup, that sums it up!

As always all my thanks goes to Mrs. Bertucci for her amazing beta and to my girls from FB where we had a great British Christmas song discussion! 

AO3, TSP, and Tumblr (and 2)

Rose crossed her arms over her chest. “You kidnapped my family. Why?”

 The three aliens cornered her in an alleyway, away from market-goers and innocent bystanders. They all pointing guns of some sort at her—killing weapons or whatever they used to take the Doctor and Jenny from beside her talking about snow globes into their particular snow globe—didn’t back down from her patented glare. She’d have to work on that. They also didn’t answer.

 “Who else did you take? I know you understand me.” The TARDIS hummed in her head, fully operational and pissed as hell that her family had been taken from her.

 Rose wondered if She always felt like that when the Doctor was in trouble, but until her time in that other universe, hadn’t noticed despite her bond with the TARDIS. A memory—brief and blurry, vague—flashed before her mind’s eye. Of Martha walking the Earth, carrying the fob watch the Doctor once hid his Time Lordy self in.

She’d heard all about Martha’s walk around the world, of course, and the Doctor shared his own memories of that time, the Year from Hell. This image felt more hers than someone else’s. Or maybe it was both, hers and the TARDIS’s.

 Rose promised herself, and the TARDIS, she’d look into it later.

 “No? Nothing? Well.” Rose dropped her arms and planted her feet, braced to duck or run or tackle meaty-paws and grab the snow globe. “I guess you should know that you’re in violation of at least a dozen Shadow Proclamation laws. This is a Level Five planet,” she added, pulling from her memory everything the Doctor had ever said about Earth. “And it is protected. Give me the globe. And run.”

 Nothing. Not a peep—though did one of their guns waver? Waver or steady, it was hard to tell. Rose tensed.

 “You speak our language so obviously know who we are.” The one holding the snow globe—the leader? —scowled at her.

 Not a clue, but Rose met his scowl with one of her own. “How did you think you’d pass on Earth?”

 He—or she, Rose didn’t know the gender or if they even had genders—scoffed. “We have been here nine days. They notice nothing, these pathetic Earthlings.”

 “Humans,” Rose automatically corrected. “We prefer Humans. But you should know that if you’ve been here nine days.”

 What she had said to Derica in the stall had been right, sadly so. No one had noticed the disappearance of whoever else these beings had taken or the fact that they only barely resembled humans.

 The long, sloping ears and the gill-like slits on their throats should’ve been a dead giveaway but alas.

 “This is the part where you tell me why you’re on my planet and what you want with Humans.” Rose emphasized that last. It seemed important they know the difference between Humans and Earthlings, though she couldn’t fathom why. Maybe it was the pounding in her head where the Doctor’s telepathic presence ought to be. Maybe she was feeling nitpicky.

 The one holding the gun laughed. “No, I don’t think so. This is the part where we add you to our collection.”

 Collection? Hmm, all right. Either they wanted Humans for pets—not the first time she’d heard that—or slaves or even repopulation. Possibly to experiment on, but usually scientists didn’t add to a collection for experimentation. That was a very specific word, that.

 The part of the snow globe facing her bulged.

 “No,” Rose shot back. “I don’t think so. This is the part where your collection escapes.”

 Oh, the confused looks on their faces! A frown was a frown was a frown, and apparently fuck truly was a universal curse word. Rose smirked and crossed her arms over her chest again. She really wanted to press her fingers to her temples and curl into a ball, but now so wasn’t the time.

 The globe itself, average sized and clear glass, had undoubtedly developed a protuberance on the side. The being holding it gaped—Rose valiantly tried not to snicker but doubted she succeeded—and nearly dropped it on the pavement.

 He juggled the globe. Rose braced to luge for it if he dropped it. What happened if it shattered? Did it kill her family? Her thudding heart skipped, but the alien steadied the globe. The swelling stopped, but didn’t rescind.

 Jenny and the Doctor had to be pushing from the inside. When the alien fumbled the globe, it must’ve shaken them from the glass, which was why the swelling stopped. They were trying to escape and believed they could by physically pushing their way out. So…if they pushed from inside, that meant shattering the snow globe would free them.

 Rose met the alien’s gaze, wider now as he held the snow globe tight. If he didn’t want to shatter the globe, either, then breaking it did free them.

 She grinned. He stepped back. The other two had regained their wits and now aimed their weapons at her. Rose ignored them. She focused on the middle man and braced herself.

 Two steps away from him. He held the globe in both large hands, Rose doubted she’d be able to knock it from him. He’d be more careful now that he’d almost dropped it. He met her gaze and stepped back, still cradling the snow globe.

 Rose leaped forward.

 She didn’t knock the snow globe out of his hands. Rose didn’t even focus on him. No, she rammed into the alien on his left, holding the ray gun on her. Knocking into him, she angled it just right—she hoped—so his taller, heavier frame knocked into the middle man.

 Like a domino effect, the three of them toppled down in the midst of grunts, curses, and frantic scrambling.

 The snow globe hit the pavement. Almost instantly, the bulge on the side, thinner than the rest of the glass now, Rose presumed, shattered. Ten people suddenly appeared in the middle of the otherwise deserted alleyway, normal height and looking none-the-worse for being trapped inside a snow globe.

 “Doctor!” Rose ran to him and crushed him tight in her arms. She reached out and pulled Jenny to her as well. “Are you both all right?”

 Very reluctantly, she stepped back, out of the Doctor’s arms and the gorgeous feel of him back in her head where he belonged.

 “We have to stop separating like this,” he whispered and pressed his lips to hers. “I thought we agreed, no more telepathic distance?”

 She choked out a laughing sob and kissed him hard, letting his love and relief, his very presence, soothe her. “I’ll work on that. Haven’t been back all that long, you know.”

 “Mum, you all right?” Jenny sounded concerned and Rose turned to look at her.

 “Yeah, darling.” She sighed and pulled the other woman into a tight hug. “You?”

 “You’re bleeding.”

 Rose frowned and looked down. Sure enough, her jeans were ripped at the knees, which were scrapped and bleeding. And, now that she noticed it, damn cold! “Oh. That’s nothing. Just a little street brawl.”

 She jerked her head to the trio on the ground, which was odd, Rose had expected them to make a hasty retreat.

 But then she noticed the others—all those who’d also been trapped in the snow globe now blocked the alleyway exit and refused to let the aliens by. Even though two of them pointed their guns at the Humans, no one budged.

 Rose hoped they didn’t have another snow globe.

 “And who do we have here?” The Doctor, hands in his trouser pockets in a deceptively casual pose, strolled to the trio.

 The Humans shivered. If the aliens had any brains, they’d have shuddered at the barely repressed fury in his voice. They did not. Instead, they turned to face him. They didn’t lower their guns and didn’t dare look in her direction.

 Maybe her glare had had some effect on them. Or maybe it was the tackling, snow globe breaking that did.

 “You have never heard of us, Human,” the middle one sneered.

 Which was a sharp turn from assuming Rose knew who they were because they thought she spoke their language. He did, however, use Human instead of Earthling. Rose considered that a point in her favor.

 “Oh, but I’m not Human.” The Doctor stopped just out of arm’s reach from the trio. “You should’ve scanned me before you kidnapped me and my daughter and caused my wife to bleed.”

 No reply. Rose hadn’t really expected one.

 “Now, then, a simple twist of my sonic.” In a flash, he pulled it from his inner jacket pocket and twisted a setting. “I can summon the Judoon. I’m sure they’d love to hear from you.”

 “I did try to warn you.” Rose closed the distance between she and Jenny, and the Doctor. “Told you this planet is protected.”

 “They never listen,” The Doctor sighed dramatically.

 “Why did you kidnap us?” Jenny asked. “Why trap us in a snow globe?”

 “Easy transport,” the middle man snapped then sighed and pressed his lips tightly closed.

 “Piracy?” The Doctor shook his head and clucked his tongue. “Even pirates know a Level Five planet is off limits. You’d have to be very desperate, or very stupid, to come here.”

 “Which is it?” Jenny asked, and she sounded genuinely curious.

 Rose snickered. That was so very Jenny.

 “We have it on good authority the Protector is dead,” Alien on the Left said and lowered his gun.

 Rose shivered but not from the biting cold. “What do you mean?”

 “The Doctor,” the middle man said. “He has died, opening up this planet to all its riches.”

 “The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” The Doctor stiffened, but didn’t look at her.[JB1] 

 “Who’s spreading rumors of your death?” Rose demanded. “Or did someone lie to them to get them to Earth?”

 “No idea,” he admitted. “But they’re not the leaders, so I doubt they know.”

 Just then a pair of ginormous rhinoceroses beamed into the alleyway. They spoke only a couple words in Judoonan, which the TARDIS refused to translate for reasons Rose didn’t want to examine. Just as quickly as they appeared, they disappeared with the trio, minus the shards of snow globe.

 “It’s over,” Jenny said to the group of Humans who’d been taken. “They’ve been arrested and are being dealt with.”

 Rose turned to the Doctor and hugged him tight. Jenny continued to talk to the others, answering questions and glossing over the whole aliens are real thing. All told, the eight people who’d been held captive for at least nine days took it relatively well.

 “I know what my favorite Christmas song is,” the Doctor whispered against her temple.

 “What?” Rose pulled back just enough to meet his gaze.

 “Christmas Present.”

 “Aww, that’s sweet but making up a song doesn’t count.” Even as she said the words, Rose knew he hadn’t made up the title.

 The intensity of his love for her washed over her skin, dark and possessive, consuming. All he was, all he wanted to be, she knew and held in her hands. His hearts. Rose blinked and took his hands, holding tight onto him.

 “Doctor?”

 “It’s by the Skyliners.”

 “The who?” Rose shook her head and chuckled. “I’ve never heard of them. Or the song.”

 The Doctor hummed a few bars then sang softly, “Baby, you’re my Christmas past, my Christmas present, my Christmas always.”

 “I love you,” Rose whispered and kissed him.

 “I love you, too, my hearts.”

This is the song Christmas Present by the Skyliners.

[girlwsoftsound]

With My Friends || Matty Healy Oneshot

Word Count: 1,906 Summary: “I need a part 2 to "back of my van" imagine, when they start officially dating and Matty shows her off and stuff and it's super fluffy!” Author’s Note: If you haven’t read Back Of My Van, be sure to do so before reading this! Hope you enjoyed all the fics while I was away! I’ll be back with some great stuff tomorrow! Be sure to throw in a like or comment if you liked it! I love seeing feedback from you all. Please feel free to read my other work here! Enjoy! 

You had come a long way since laying down with Matty in the back of his van.

The very next day, slightly hungover but still riding the high of being with Matty, you woke up and did the first thing you could think of: dial the blonde-haired boy’s number. You could barely remember his name. Henry? Harry? Hardy? It was something forgettable with an H. Trying to sound as sweet as you could, you told him that unfortunately the date would have to be broken, and that you had a previous commitment you wished to keep. Sure, it was far from a true statement, but blondie was sweet. You didn’t want to hurt his feelings and make him think it was something he did wrong that cost him you. It wasn’t his fault you couldn’t keep it in your pants around Matty the night before. Some things simply happen out of one’s control. He thankfully understood.

That night, you met up with Matty at the nearby park and talked. You talked about anything the boy’s mind would entertain, from the boy he went on roadtrips alongside to how he felt after the previous night. It was effortless, and warm. With each passing moment, you found yourself even more drawn to Matty than before. Something about the kid, his dark blackish-brown hair and his chocolatey eyes, drew you to him. He made ditching blondie worth it. His lips against yours did the trick, as well.

Three days worth of these meetings culminated in one final meeting. It took place on the swings, Matty lacing his hand in yours to keep you moving in time. Conversation was sparse that day. Matty seemed on edge. Had he not had his hand so tightly in yours, you would have thought him mad at you. You sent a frown his way, and were met with his eyes, boring their way into yours.

“Is everything alright?”

The boy let out a long, unsure breath. “Yes.” It was as if he was trying to convince himself, the way he spoke. You wished to give him a hug, but feared his reaction. The boy looked like he could snap at any moment. Instead, you squeezed at his hand. He sighed.

“Look, {Y/N}, I...I’m not sure how to say this.” Fear pooled into your stomach. The horror you would feel if he turned you down this early on would be dreadful for sure. He couldn’t possibly be wanting out now, not this soon. He barely was with you. All you did was fuck. Had he had any issue with that, he would have stated it on the first night after it. You bit your lip to distract yourself from the what ifs. Matty’s eyes flickered down to it briefly before returning back to your eyes.

“I...I think you are beautiful. I know I told you this that first night in my van, but I wanted to say it again...and let you know that I truly mean it,” he spoke, barely audible even mere feet away. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind since then. You’ve changed me...and I know that that sounds mental and honestly borderline creepy, but it’s honest. It’s raw and emotional and true. Just like my feelings for you. Fuck...will you be my girlfriend, {Y/N}?”

Hearing him say the words was incredible. Glorious, even. You felt like you were out of his league and just a fuck buddy before, but now? Now he wished to be your boyfriend. He wanted to date you, bring you around at his hip, kiss you whenever, fall in love with you. You. You barely remembered to speak and agree to his words, you were so shaken. When you did however, Matty’s face lit up. You received in that moment the first real, true, loving kiss from Matty’s lips. It was the most intense feeling.

“I want to show you to my friends.”

You blinked. You did not expect that. “Your friends?”

“J-Just three of them,” he explained, as if he could already sense your apprehension. “They’re really nice, don’t worry. Besides, you said before that some of them are in classes with you! It shouldn’t be too bad seeing them again, yeah? I don’t think they’re that shitty of students.”

Giggling, you shook your head. “No, they’re not terrible. I just didn’t think I’d be introduced to the friends so early on. I feel like that’s a privilege reserved for someone who you actually have been dating for more than a few minutes.”

“By the time you see them, it’ll already have been over a day.”

“Alright, fair point.”

“Don’t worry love, you’ll be just fine,” he spoke, assuring, reaching to squeeze your hand. “They probably will take one look at you and be as blown away as I was. When they hear you speak, they’ll be just as gobsmacked as I was as well.”

“You, gobsmacked?”

Matty grinned. “Absolutely. Felt like I was going to die, I was so worried.”

“About what?”

“About anything really. It’s not every day a gorgeous girl comes into view. I had to make a move, I knew I did, but damn,” he said, laughing in spite of himself. “It was next to pulling teeth in my mind in terms of how hard it was to get the courage to speak to you that first time.”

“I’m impressed.”

“You obviously were impressed, otherwise I would not have ended up with you in the back of my van, now would I?”

Shoving at his arm, you giggled. “Alright. Enough of that. Your friends. When will I meet them, and where?”

Matty paused for a moment, thinking. “Saturday, seven o’clock, my house. Do you have the address love? Shit, I think I haven’t given it to you. I’ll do that eventually.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you said, smiling. It made Matty smile as well.

So the plans were made, set, and hatched. Twos days of enjoying life with Matty as your new boyfriend came and went, and you found yourself driving over to his flat ready to meet people he considered important in his life. You chose to wear a pair of darkened jeans and a faded blue blouse with boots - not too casual, but still comfortable to wear. Letting your hair fall loosely, you hopped out of your car and headed up to the door, Matty’s door, the door to Matty Healy’s house. Your boyfriend’s house. Hands growing sweaty, you knocked once, twice, three times. Finally, he opened it, the sound of loud music and the smell of pot wafting through the door. A big, lopsided grin washed across his face at the sight of you.

“You...you look gorgeous, babe.”

Grinning, you let him bring you into a big hug. “Sure that isn’t just the weed talking?”

“Yes, because if it was, I’d be calling you fucking hot and the sexiest being I’ve ever seen,” he spoke, and regardless of whether or not he was teasing you, you felt your cheeks turn bright red. He ushered you inside, too excited to notice or care if he did. His hand slipping into yours and gripping you tight, he brought you forward and into a large open room, stark white but decorated with tons of beautiful knick-knacks and art. Scattered on leather seats were three boys, all watching you. One was tall, a big fellow, with blondish-brown hair dyed bright blonde at the tips and wearing all black, from head to toe like Matty, only with more leather involved. Another was draped on his own couch, his long legs spread comfortably. He had shorter dark hair and the thin makings of what could become a beard. The third boy, sitting next to the blonde one, had sandy hair and looked much thinner than the others. He had soft eyes and a unique look to him that matched his unique patterned shirt. You smiled at them all, and they returned it genuinely.

“Guys, this is {Y/N}. {Y/N}, I’d like you to meet George, Ross, and Adam,” Matty announced proudly, pointing to each as he said their name. Adam and Ross waved, while George got up and went to hug you. He was incredibly tall compared to you, but his hug felt warm and comforting, and in your nervous state it felt like heaven. Matty smiled at the lad as he sat back down, and then brought you to sit down with him on the third couch there. Once you sat, a bong on the table was brought to your attention by Matty.

“Do you wanna’ use it?”

You bit your lip. As tempting as it was, you did have to drive back home before the night ended. The last thing you needed was any drama involving that. Politely, you declined, and thankfully, Matty understood. He instead took to taking hits for himself, breathing the smoke in and out after preparing it as if it were his job. George shared it with him, growing even more spacey than he had looked before. You turned and grinned at Matty.

“Are we going to just sit here and get high then, or are you going to strike up a conversation so I get to know your friends?”

“I like her,” George said, smirking. Matty rolled his eyes.

“Sod off, George. Well, everyone, I suppose I’ll have her tell you a little bit about her to get things started.”

“Way to pass the ball to me.”

“You tell your story better than anyone, babe. Besides,” he said with a laugh, “we haven’t even gone out on a date yet. This’ll be informative for me, too.”

And he was right. As close as you were, and as fast as everything had happened, you had not told Matty much about yourself. He didn’t know the little things that made you who you were, and what you enjoyed the most from life. He, essentially, sat on the same playing field as the others. Speaking to them all, you hoped that it would shine a better light on you. From the look of adoration in Matty’s eyes when you finished, you felt that it had done just that.

“You seem really passionate about what you do,” Adam said, smiling softly your way.

“Yeah, and you have a great taste in music,” Ross noted with a nod. “It’s hard to find someone with those kind of tastes that’s like you.”

“I still like you.”

You giggled. “Shut up George, you’re high as a kite.”

“I do, though!”

Wrapping his arm around your waist, Matty brought you close and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, soft from how airy he felt, tender from the newfound adoration he had for you. It made you blush.

“I’m so proud to have you as my girlfriend. Little did I know I’d be meeting such a talented lass like yourself at that party.”

Smiling, you went to kiss his cheek. “You’re too sweet.”

“Just so you all know,” he announced, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, “I have the best girlfriend in the world now! Y’all are fucked, it don’t get better than this!”

And even though your cheeks tinge pink and you feel like hiding away in Matty’s shirt from the way the other boys look at you after this, you have to agree. As crazy as this new Matty-filled world is, you are not sure it could get better than this.

[inthisformiambadwolf]

Requested Anonymously

The Doctor hadn't imagined that you wearing a skirt would bother him so much. That's not to say that he didn't like it. He did like it. That was the problem - he liked it too much. It wasn't even that short of a skirt, either. There wasn't anything overly sexy or promiscuous about it. That, he would have been able to ignore. He had been ignoring flaunted sexuality all his lives (it never failed to make him uncomfortable), and it came easily to him at this point. But you weren't flaunting anything. You were in a tasteful, flowing skirt that cut off right at the knee. It flared out a bit whenever you turned, giving just the slightest tease of your lower thigh, but there was no inappropriate exposure. None at all. It was perfectly perfect. But the Doctor was scared of it.

"Wait a minute. What are you dressed like that for?" he asked when you finally joined him in the console room. He immediately bit his tongue when he realized how he sounded, but... he really wanted to know why you were wearing that... thing. And heels. Oh, no, you were wearing heels. They weren't especially tall and the wedge was hardly more than an inch, but this was more heel than he had ever seen you stand on.

You made a silly face at him in response, too accustomed to his non-ginger rudeness to be offended. "Is this alright for where we're going? I'll just change real quick if it's not. I just never get to wear it."

That's right, you never got to wear it. (Forget the heels. Can't run well in those, so they were out of the question.) The Doctor had never seen so much leg on you. You wore trousers, always, because you were smart enough to know that skirts were not for adventuring. Even in hot weather, though, you didn't wear shorts. You just wore trousers with thinner material. Shorts were nice, but the idea of running through dense underbrush or stinging nettles or a bog with bare legs didn't appeal to you, so you kept your legs safely covered. Until today.

"Uuuuuuuhhmmmm... Nooooo... It's fine," the Doctor said. He couldn't believe it. The sluttiest and most revealing of outfits would have turned him off in a second flat and left him feeling a bit dirty besides, but your rather conservative skirt was a doing things to him. "Uh. Nothing big today, just, um... Might not even leave the TARDIS, actually."

"Oh?" You tilted your head. "Why?"

The Doctor thought fast for an explanation. He couldn't let you leave the TARDIS. He couldn't watch you walking about in that skirt. It would kill him. He had wanted to go to the Great Andorsan Coast on the planet Huross, just so he could show you the completely unique underwater ecosystem there, but that wasn't an option. The Doctor pictured you, on the beach, in the water up to mid-calf as you examined a tide pool. The wind would tease your skirt, therefore teasing him, and sea spray would splash all the way up to your knees, and sand would stick to your skin where the water had dried. Oh no. That was bad enough in his head. He wouldn't be able to stand seeing it in real life.

"Wellllllll," the Doctor drawled, still feeling slightly panicked by the idea of you and that skirt at a beach, "I was thinking I would show you the... the Stellar Nurseries of Anglussar."

"The what now?" you said, mouth twitching in amusement.

"It's a place where stars are born," the Doctor said, and he internally congratulated himself when he saw your face light up at his explanation. "It's the perfect place for watching. Most stars take their time being born, but the Anglussaran nurseries are special! You can watch five or six stars being born in a single sitting. And they're all gorgeous, too. Top of the line stars, complete with sparkle and glimmer, eh?"

"Fantastic," you said, imitating his previous self. And you meant it, or you would have, if you weren't feeling so disappointed. Not about the location, no, because that really was fantastic, but about his... er, well, his attitude.

You saw the look on his face when he saw you in a skirt. You saw the way his eyes lingered on your legs. You took note when his pupils dilated. He swallowed thickly and you saw that, too, as well as the way he strained to smile at you. All in all, the Doctor looked panicked and uncomfortable with your choice of outfit. He had loosened up a little when he started talking about baby stars, but that still wasn't the reaction you were looking for. What reaction you were looking for, you weren't sure, but that wasn't it. A little flirting would have done the trick, you supposed, and although some of the signs he showed would normally spell out 'attraction', the Doctor didn't look attracted at all.

Panicked and uncomfortable. Ugh. Not what you were hoping for. Maybe you should go put on some leggings- no. No way. You weren't going to change just because the Doctor got antsy. Your skirt was perfectly appropriate and if he had a problem with it, it was his problem. You had put on the skirt with him in mind, but you weren't going to change just because he wasn't thrilled with your choice.

Even if it was... disappointing.

You hadn't been trying to seduce him, not at all. Not even a little bit. You knew better. You had seen the Doctor get panicky and flustered under the attentions of more forward people. You knew he wouldn't like that, not even from you, and making him uncomfortable was the last thing you wanted. You had just wanted to look nice for him, dress up a bit; get his attention.

This wasn't what you had been hoping for.

"... And that one right there, that one... can't say that I recognize that one."

"Do you know all the stars?" you asked, swinging your bare legs cheerfully. Your feet, too, were bare - you had taken your shoes off for fear that they would float off into space.

You and the Doctor were both sitting on the edge of the TARDIS's open doorway, happily taking in the spectacular view that was stars being born at an accelerated speed. The Doctor could tell you the names of most of the stars even as they were barely forming. The true joy of the experience, really, was his enthusiasm. He turned into such a little kid about this stuff. He loved the stars, and it showed.

"A lot of 'em," the Doctor mused with a nod, not taking his eyes off of the lightshow above you.

Except, it wasn't for the reason that you thought.

The Doctor was ready to give the TARDIS a good smack, if only he knew how. She usually pushed the gravity barrier out by more than an arm's length when the door was open in mid space, but this time, she had stopped the gravity right at the threshold. He could tell, because your skirt kept floating. And his hair, too, when he leaned forward far enough, but he didn't care if his hair was floating (it practically defied gravity all on its own anyway). But he was keeping his eyes off of your floating hemline and pinned to the stars. Thankfully, the stars were distracting. If he had picked anything less spectacular, this wouldn't have worked.

Eventually, the output of stars lulled, and your legs began to ache from sitting for so long, and the Doctor's chatter had lulled considerably. You tucked one leg under the other, just to offer your muscles some relief, and you held back a hiss as pins and needles shot down your thighs. That was weird - you hadn't even known your legs were falling asleep. They had hurt, yes, but... ouch. You clenched and unclenched your toes, trying to increase some blood flow. It didn't really work.

"Sorry, legs asleep," you muttered to the Doctor, who only grunted. You shakily stood, straying from the spectacular view as feeling rushed painfully back into your aching legs.

The breaking of the spell snapped you into an irritable reality. Watching the stars had been delightful, but you weren't watching the stars anymore. You were just a girl who had been silly enough to think that a skirt and heels would catch the attention of a genius, nine-hundred-year-old-and-then-some alien. One who had been host to many prettier, cleverer, more compatible companions than you.

Frustrated, you toed your heels off and stood barefoot on the grating, ignoring the Doctor, who watched you from where he still sat at the TARDIS's open door. The grating further irritated the pins-and-needles feeling in your feet. Your skirt, which had looked so flattering in the mirror and made you feel so confident only a few hours ago, suddenly felt like the most ridiculous, awkward thing you had ever worn. This was just- oh, you had really humiliated yourself today, hadn't you? The Doctor could barely look at you, and when he did, he cringed, like you were assaulting his eyes. There was no way he would look so uncomfortable and panicked if he didn't know why you had gotten dressed up, and if he knew and that was his reaction, well... Obviously, he didn't return your feelings. At all.

And he just let you do it. He let you make a complete fool of yourself. He couldn't just say, 'Sorry, but I'm not interested, no need to keep giving me hints'? Would it have killed him to spare you some embarrassment and tell you that he just didn't like you that way?

You stood still, legs trembling slightly as blood flowed freely though them again, and you raised one hand to cover your eyes with. You felt a slight stinging sensation in your nose and eyes but, no, you weren't going to cry. At least, not until you got back to your room. You couldn't lose it like this in front of the Doctor, especially not over something so trivial.

"Is... is something wrong?"

Too late.

You dabbed your eyes with the edge of your sleeve in order to seep away any excess moisture before you turned to look back at the Doctor. Suck it up and deal with it.

"I'm fine," you said, offering a weak, strained smile. "My legs were just worse than I thought they were. That's all."

The Doctor's brown eyes stayed well above your legs. "Sorry, didn't mean to make you sit for so long like that."

"No, it was great!" you exclaimed. "The stars were beautiful, Doctor. But, my legs ache now and we had a really, really long day yesterday, so I'm just gonna-"

"Sleep, in your room, yeah, that's a good idea, yes," the Doctor blurt out all in one breath. He looked away from you again. "You're, uh, you're sure there's nothing wrong? You seemed pretty quiet."

You almost said, 'yeah, I'm fine.' You almost waved him off. You almost made another excuse. But you didn't do that. For some reason that you couldn't fathom, your dumb mouth opened and you said:

"No."

The Doctor's eyebrows jumped up and his lips curled back slightly. "What, really?"

You frowned as sternly as you could manage even as you felt that hot sting at the corners of your eyes again. "Really."

"You wanna tell me why?" he asked, although he suddenly sounded like he didn't want to know why. Like, perhaps, he had wised up in nine hundred years and realized that when human women said they were fine, it didn't mean that they were actually fine, but it did mean they wanted you to keep your nose out of it.

You were right on the edge of crying, you could feel it. You were sad, you were tired, your body hurt, and humiliation was burning your cheeks. There was no more inconvenient time to cry, but hardly a time more likely, either.

"Nope!" you said. "I'm gonna go, uh, take a shower." Yeah, that was a good idea. You could cry in there, or calm down, and the Doctor couldn't follow you into the shower.

"Wait, no-no-no, you don't get to say that there's something wrong and then run off like that!" the Doctor exclaimed, leaping up to follow you even as you started making your way out of the console room.

"You do it all the time."

"Yeah, but this isn't about me, and you left your shoes!"

"Don't care."

"Hey!"

The Doctor grabbed your shoulder and spun you around to face him. You almost snarled at the manhandling. How dare he? The king of avoiding domestics and feelings, and he couldn't just let you walk away?

"What's your problem?" you snapped.

"What's yours?" he snapped back. "Look, I don't know where this is coming from, but you're my companion, and if there's something going on with you then it's my responsibility to make sure you're alright!"

"Your responsibility? Is that what I am to you?" Oh, come on, no. Don't do the drama queen thing. Just let it go. Don't let him rile you up.

The Doctor mentally backpedaled. "What? No! No, you're not, it's not- I'm worried about you, that's all! I care! What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me is that-" And then the floodgates opened. From your mouth spilled words that you never, ever wanted to say out loud. "It's you. You're what's wrong, Doctor. You couldn't just spare me some embarrassment, could you? You had to let me make an idiot of myself, with the skirt and the heels and-"

"What?"

"But, nooo, you have to just ignore whatever makes you uncomfortable, so you didn't tell me that you weren't interested, and I've been doing this for, what, a year? I've lost track. Two years? And that's only how long I've been trying, on purpose, forget all the stuff I was doing before without making an actual effort, but did you say anything? No, Mr. Big Scary Time Lord doesn't do domestics or feelings or confrontation, so you just, I dunno, turned a blind eye while I acted like a love-sick moron?"

The Doctor stared at you, eyes wide and jaw slack. If he had been a human, he wouldn't have been able to follow everything you had just said, but he was not human, and his brain could play every word back on repeat. And those words made a strange, alien sort of sense to him that he wasn't sure if he believed.

Your breath came shakily, hitching occasionally as you tried to fight back tears. That's it, you thought. He's going to get rid of me now. He hates this stuff. He'll find a new companion, one who doesn't cry over emotional drama in front of him.

"You did this," the Doctor said slowly, pointing down at your skirt, "for me? To- to get my attention?"

"Among a thousand other things," you sighed. He didn't seem angry, at least.

"But-" His eyebrows drew closer together in a deliberate frown. "But, no, you and Jack and the flirting-"

Ah, you knew the innuendo contest you had played with Jack would come back to bite you someday. "It's just a game, and Jack knows it. He knows how I... feel. About you."

"Feel about me." The Doctor blinked. "You... 'love-sick moron'?"

You shrugged. "Yep."

The Doctor took a shuddering breath. "You love me."

"Are you just gonna drag this out, or-?"

And then there were lips on yours, arms holding you close, hands fisting the back of your shirt. You closed your eyes and melted into the Doctor's grasp, overtaken by a kiss that was surprisingly gentle despite his harsh grip. And, oh, he was shaking as he pulled you as close to him as he could, his fingers clumsily curling against your back. He whimpered against your mouth, a pitiful sound that tugged at your singular heart.

You eventually broke for air, gasping under the Doctor's fervent attention. He didn't try to kiss you again, but instead lowered his head to rest at the crook of your neck.

"You love me," he whispered, and you could hear the joy and disbelief in his voice.

You reached up and ran your fingers through his mess of hair as you held him. "I do."

[robbiemeadow]

How Tinder Boosted My Self-Esteem

the Urban Dater is a blog covering the topics of Online Dating, Relationship Advice and Sex. Check out our latest entry here: the Urban Dater - A Blog About Online Dating, Relationships & Sex

Before this summer I had zero experience with dating apps (and dating in general). Tinder wasn't even released until two years after my long-term boyfriend and I had started dating. In the nearly seven years of our relationship I had played around on my friends' apps, but never swiped left/right, Bumbled, Grouper'd, OkCupid'd, or Coffee Meets Bagel'd for myself. Finding myself suddenly single at the beginning of the summer, and in desperate need of distraction, I dove headfirst into the pool of online dating. I started with Tinder because a) my town is too small for anything else and b) my cold, dead heart wanted hookups, not dates. That's the whole purpose of Tinder, right?

Tinder met most of my expectations: the initial “wanna fuck?” messages, dick pics, and an ejaculation video (why is that a thing?). I went a handful of dates, met some cool guys and some not-so-cool guys, and I hung out with a few truly interesting people (a radio DJ who runs a wedding business on the side and a former Marine/aspiring sommelier, just to name a few). What I did not expect from Tinder, however, was how most of these interactions started to make me feel good about myself. I mean, really good about myself.

Like nearly every other woman in the world, I have never been happy with my body. At a size ten, I’m labeled “plus sized” and I have worn glasses on and off throughout my whole life. I feel I give off the sex appeal of a dictionary. When I'm out with my girlfriends I am never the girl who is hit on, flirted with, or picked up. Ever since hitting puberty and becoming aware of attractive vs unattractive I have thought of myself as filling the role of “the fat friend,” who just sits back and smiles while her thinner, prettier friends make eyes with guys across the room. Obviously, I’ve had boyfriends, but they have always been my friends first so when they said, “You are gorgeous,” what I heard was, “I found you gorgeous only after getting to know you. I didn't immediately think you were pretty.” I know that having someone attracted to your personality is more substantial than them just thinking you're cute (my old counselor always reiterated that looks eventually “sag and fade” as if I didn't already know that), but I wouldn't hate having just one guy, who doesn't know me at all, tell me I'm attractive. Friends, family, and boyfriends I don't believe, but a total stranger? That person I might actually listen to.

This brings us back to Tinder (I'm focusing on Tinder because my current home is too small to use more than one dating app). On one of my first nights using the app, a friend and I sat on my back deck, drank wine, and decided who to swipe left and right on. With each “It's a Match!” we laughed and looked into the guys' profiles a bit more. After the third or fourth match, I said, “These guys are just judging me on my appearance, right?” My friend nodded. “So they are only swiping because they think I'm cute? Or are they just swiping on every single girl?” We concluded that obviously some of the guys were swiping right on every girl, but the chances of every single guy doing that were slim. We swiped some more. When I started matching with guys who were classically good looking (you know the type: triangle shape, buff, square jaw, etc.)…well, I won't lie, that felt really fucking good. A hot guy actually thinks I'm remotely attractive? What? No. How can that be?

Then the messages started. Some guys went right in with “you're really pretty!” or “beautiful smile :)” or “what gorgeous blue eyes.” Others went in for a conversation first before doling out compliments here and there. I know that this is how people operate on Tinder but keep in mind that I am not used to this at all. I can count on one hand the number of random men-who-I-wasn't-dating who have complimented my appearance (and I'm not counting the man who used to stand on the corner near my train stop and catcall every woman).

It wasn't until I started meeting with these guys that I wondered: Can Tinder boost my self-esteem? Two guys asked how someone as pretty as me was still single. I went on a date with one guy who told me, in Spanish, that I was beautiful and kissed me. Another guy, who I'd met up with a few times, blatantly asked, “What about sex?” I laughed like a loon in response. It wasn't the question that surprised me, but the fact that it was coming from an incredibly attractive, incredibly fit guy (because yes, I'm being shallow and only swiping right on guys who I find physically attractive––so sue me). When I was done laughing I said something awkward like, “Oh? Maybe? I mean, I'm not against it?” My mind, however, was saying: Are you serious? Do you want to sleep with me? Have you seen yourself? Have you seen me? Aren't there hotter girls you'd rather sleep with? I then had horrific visions of this guy, with all of his muscles and hott-ness, seeing me naked and realizing that I was in fact not attractive, but simply knew how to dress well. I promptly retreated into my unhealthy shell where I only sleep with random guys when I am inebriated.

Soon after Buff Guy, I hung out with a sweet, nerdy medical student, who was in town on vacation. We got along well, I drank too much trying to feign confidence, and, as is typical with Tinder, we hooked up. The next day, as we hooked up again, he seemed shocked that anything was happening at all. He kept repeating, “You're just so sexy. I never get to do things like this! You're just…you're really, really hot.” I don't know how to respond to compliments so I reflexively reached for my shirt. Med Boy shook his head. “Don't do that,” he said. “Don't body shame yourself. You are so attractive. Have you seen yourself? You are gorgeous.”

Something about Med Boy's insistence made my typical self-depreciating thoughts start to lose hold. Again, I know that this is the type of stuff people say on Tinder, but, let's be honest, Med Boy had nothing to gain by being so insistent. We'd already had sex. Why put in the extra effort? Unless…because it's true?

Somewhere between the casual Tinder chats, the handful of dates, Buff Guy, and Med Guy, my mind circled a new thought: am I attractive? I stared at myself in my full-length mirror. I tried to see what these guys saw; guys who did not know me at all, guys who are not being swayed by my personality, and guys who have no real reason to compliment me because I’m not looking for another relationship anytime soon.

Suddenly I'm starting to see it. Where I used to see unsightly lumps, hips that needed nipping and tucking, and a stomach I sucked in before turning off the lights, now I see a healthy, curvy, and––dare I say it?––slender body. I have muscular legs, hips and a torso that do the typical hourglass curve, and a stomach that actually does not protrude like a watermelon, despite my perception of it for the past two decades. Friends, family, and boyfriends have always told me I am attractive, but it wasn't until these strangers started repeating it over and over that I actually started to hear it.

So which is boosting my self-esteem: Tinder or just plain dating? Or are they working in tandem with one another because without Tinder I probably wouldn't be dating at all? Romantically, I tend to not “put myself out there.” I typically wouldn't dare approach a guy and try flirting with him for fear of rejection and humiliation. With Tinder, however, just matching with someone seems to lessen the fear of rejection. Whether you matched with them because they are genuinely interested in you or you matched because they’re saying ‘yes' to everyone––seeing the “It's a Match!” message eases a tiny bit of the tension that goes into dating.

Whether it’s thanks to Tinder or not, in the past few months I have discovered newfound confidence. When someone compliments me I say thank you instead of responding with a self-deprecating joke. When I meet a date for the first time, I work at being my usual chatty, sarcastic self, rather than being shy and quiet. I’ve flirted with guys, chatted them up, and even gave a random musician my number. For once in my life I feel like I am someone worth dating rather than fearing my significant other may be too good for me (as I have learned with my ex, that was certainly not true). Did Tinder give me this confidence boost or am I just getting older and wiser? I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is that I’m not going to stop online dating anytime soon.

Original article: How Tinder Boosted My Self-Esteem

©2017 the Urban Dater. All Rights Reserved.

The post How Tinder Boosted My Self-Esteem appeared first on the Urban Dater.

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[travisandersondatingblog]

How Tinder Boosted My Self-Esteem

the Urban Dater is a blog covering the topics of Online Dating, Relationship Advice and Sex. Check out our latest entry here: the Urban Dater - A Blog About Online Dating, Relationships & Sex

Before this summer I had zero experience with dating apps (and dating in general). Tinder wasn't even released until two years after my long-term boyfriend and I had started dating. In the nearly seven years of our relationship I had played around on my friends' apps, but never swiped left/right, Bumbled, Grouper'd, OkCupid'd, or Coffee Meets Bagel'd for myself. Finding myself suddenly single at the beginning of the summer, and in desperate need of distraction, I dove headfirst into the pool of online dating. I started with Tinder because a) my town is too small for anything else and b) my cold, dead heart wanted hookups, not dates. That's the whole purpose of Tinder, right?

Tinder met most of my expectations: the initial “wanna fuck?” messages, dick pics, and an ejaculation video (why is that a thing?). I went a handful of dates, met some cool guys and some not-so-cool guys, and I hung out with a few truly interesting people (a radio DJ who runs a wedding business on the side and a former Marine/aspiring sommelier, just to name a few). What I did not expect from Tinder, however, was how most of these interactions started to make me feel good about myself. I mean, really good about myself.

Like nearly every other woman in the world, I have never been happy with my body. At a size ten, I’m labeled “plus sized” and I have worn glasses on and off throughout my whole life. I feel I give off the sex appeal of a dictionary. When I'm out with my girlfriends I am never the girl who is hit on, flirted with, or picked up. Ever since hitting puberty and becoming aware of attractive vs unattractive I have thought of myself as filling the role of “the fat friend,” who just sits back and smiles while her thinner, prettier friends make eyes with guys across the room. Obviously, I’ve had boyfriends, but they have always been my friends first so when they said, “You are gorgeous,” what I heard was, “I found you gorgeous only after getting to know you. I didn't immediately think you were pretty.” I know that having someone attracted to your personality is more substantial than them just thinking you're cute (my old counselor always reiterated that looks eventually “sag and fade” as if I didn't already know that), but I wouldn't hate having just one guy, who doesn't know me at all, tell me I'm attractive. Friends, family, and boyfriends I don't believe, but a total stranger? That person I might actually listen to.

This brings us back to Tinder (I'm focusing on Tinder because my current home is too small to use more than one dating app). On one of my first nights using the app, a friend and I sat on my back deck, drank wine, and decided who to swipe left and right on. With each “It's a Match!” we laughed and looked into the guys' profiles a bit more. After the third or fourth match, I said, “These guys are just judging me on my appearance, right?” My friend nodded. “So they are only swiping because they think I'm cute? Or are they just swiping on every single girl?” We concluded that obviously some of the guys were swiping right on every girl, but the chances of every single guy doing that were slim. We swiped some more. When I started matching with guys who were classically good looking (you know the type: triangle shape, buff, square jaw, etc.)…well, I won't lie, that felt really fucking good. A hot guy actually thinks I'm remotely attractive? What? No. How can that be?

Then the messages started. Some guys went right in with “you're really pretty!” or “beautiful smile :)” or “what gorgeous blue eyes.” Others went in for a conversation first before doling out compliments here and there. I know that this is how people operate on Tinder but keep in mind that I am not used to this at all. I can count on one hand the number of random men-who-I-wasn't-dating who have complimented my appearance (and I'm not counting the man who used to stand on the corner near my train stop and catcall every woman).

It wasn't until I started meeting with these guys that I wondered: Can Tinder boost my self-esteem? Two guys asked how someone as pretty as me was still single. I went on a date with one guy who told me, in Spanish, that I was beautiful and kissed me. Another guy, who I'd met up with a few times, blatantly asked, “What about sex?” I laughed like a loon in response. It wasn't the question that surprised me, but the fact that it was coming from an incredibly attractive, incredibly fit guy (because yes, I'm being shallow and only swiping right on guys who I find physically attractive––so sue me). When I was done laughing I said something awkward like, “Oh? Maybe? I mean, I'm not against it?” My mind, however, was saying: Are you serious? Do you want to sleep with me? Have you seen yourself? Have you seen me? Aren't there hotter girls you'd rather sleep with? I then had horrific visions of this guy, with all of his muscles and hott-ness, seeing me naked and realizing that I was in fact not attractive, but simply knew how to dress well. I promptly retreated into my unhealthy shell where I only sleep with random guys when I am inebriated.

Soon after Buff Guy, I hung out with a sweet, nerdy medical student, who was in town on vacation. We got along well, I drank too much trying to feign confidence, and, as is typical with Tinder, we hooked up. The next day, as we hooked up again, he seemed shocked that anything was happening at all. He kept repeating, “You're just so sexy. I never get to do things like this! You're just…you're really, really hot.” I don't know how to respond to compliments so I reflexively reached for my shirt. Med Boy shook his head. “Don't do that,” he said. “Don't body shame yourself. You are so attractive. Have you seen yourself? You are gorgeous.”

Something about Med Boy's insistence made my typical self-depreciating thoughts start to lose hold. Again, I know that this is the type of stuff people say on Tinder, but, let's be honest, Med Boy had nothing to gain by being so insistent. We'd already had sex. Why put in the extra effort? Unless…because it's true?

Somewhere between the casual Tinder chats, the handful of dates, Buff Guy, and Med Guy, my mind circled a new thought: am I attractive? I stared at myself in my full-length mirror. I tried to see what these guys saw; guys who did not know me at all, guys who are not being swayed by my personality, and guys who have no real reason to compliment me because I’m not looking for another relationship anytime soon.

Suddenly I'm starting to see it. Where I used to see unsightly lumps, hips that needed nipping and tucking, and a stomach I sucked in before turning off the lights, now I see a healthy, curvy, and––dare I say it?––slender body. I have muscular legs, hips and a torso that do the typical hourglass curve, and a stomach that actually does not protrude like a watermelon, despite my perception of it for the past two decades. Friends, family, and boyfriends have always told me I am attractive, but it wasn't until these strangers started repeating it over and over that I actually started to hear it.

So which is boosting my self-esteem: Tinder or just plain dating? Or are they working in tandem with one another because without Tinder I probably wouldn't be dating at all? Romantically, I tend to not “put myself out there.” I typically wouldn't dare approach a guy and try flirting with him for fear of rejection and humiliation. With Tinder, however, just matching with someone seems to lessen the fear of rejection. Whether you matched with them because they are genuinely interested in you or you matched because they’re saying ‘yes' to everyone––seeing the “It's a Match!” message eases a tiny bit of the tension that goes into dating.

Whether it’s thanks to Tinder or not, in the past few months I have discovered newfound confidence. When someone compliments me I say thank you instead of responding with a self-deprecating joke. When I meet a date for the first time, I work at being my usual chatty, sarcastic self, rather than being shy and quiet. I’ve flirted with guys, chatted them up, and even gave a random musician my number. For once in my life I feel like I am someone worth dating rather than fearing my significant other may be too good for me (as I have learned with my ex, that was certainly not true). Did Tinder give me this confidence boost or am I just getting older and wiser? I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is that I’m not going to stop online dating anytime soon.

Original article: How Tinder Boosted My Self-Esteem

©2017 the Urban Dater. All Rights Reserved.

The post How Tinder Boosted My Self-Esteem appeared first on the Urban Dater.

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