#yet another stream reading a bit of dialogue and having to take a second to acknowledge how deeply it resonates

[reisaval]

Throes of the Watchmaker

I knew Valere's twin was going to hit me like a bag of bricks, but I never imagined the pair of them, Valere and Zale, would just be direct mirrors of myself and someone I used to know and care for dearly.

If that person happens to see this. Please play the DLC. You'll understand. It says more than I ever could.

[shotosprincess]

what if... — shoto todoroki

“ what if we kissed then? just to prove that we don’t have feelings for each other. “

summary: ever since you and todoroki started working together as pro heroes, your friends simply wouldn’t let up on teasing you two, suspecting that there was something between you—something that extended past the bounds of business.

notes: fluff ,, todoroki being flustered ( aaaa he’s so cute bye ) the bakusquad teasing and egging ya’ll on ( their dialogue is color coded so it’s easier to read ! ) ,, denki being a little bit of a busybody <3

“ ooooh look who it is! the power coupleeee! “ the sing-song tone of denki’s teasing rung through the hall as he spotted you and todoroki entering the building from a long day of pro hero work.

grey streaks of dust and ash littered your bodies, streaks of sweat and diluted stripes of dried crimson staining multiple sides on both your faces. his hair was tattered and slightly singed from the discord of an especially-messy battle, yours was tangled in a hopeless mess. a heavy sigh leaves you. that would be a pain to brush through later.

your numbed fingers, body exhausted and worn out, run through your hair in a wordless frustration. shoto tenses up noticeably at denki’s playful comment. “ denki. we’re not a couple. “

his lips raise into a cheeky, if not mildly-irritating smirk as he leans further into the velvet couch, draping his arms round the back. “ oh yeah? take your arm off their shoulder then, shoto. “

your partner’s face lights up with a rose so brilliant, it almost even matched with the rubied strands of his hair. his lips tightly purse together, sliding his arm, which was, in fact, casually resting on your shoulder, off with a hurried swoop.

“ shut it, kaminari. “ he huffs in a low, almost even threatening tone as he walks past the energetic blonde at an increased pace. you frown. he seemed so worked up over it, and for what? it’s not as if this was the first time someone had poked at you for being a “ couple “—which you were not, but you were never the one to readily disprove their remarks, though delivered in a joking manner. it’s not as if you felt anything of the sort for him...right?

so then why was it so hard to admit that you weren’t anything more than what you were on the field? it was the truth, after all.

“ jeez, what’s with him? i was just kidding. “ sticking a lollipop into his mouth, he turns to lay down fully on the couch, stretching his back out with such leisure.

your eyes followed him as he disappeared past a corner, shaking your head in confusion. “ no clue. “

it was just one of the countless circumstances in which people had poked at the two of you for your not-so-platonic habits with one another, habits which, admittedly, hinted at something...more than friendship. more than a partnership. this was nothing new.

but of course, you pushed it all away, allowing the rumours and silly hashtags and fanmade edits and youtube compilations to completely ricochet off of you. however, the same couldn’t exactly be said for todoroki. shame.

you didn’t quite know why, but he always got so unexplainably tense about it whenever someone brought the topic up. he’d curl up his fists so aggressively it’d leave crescent marks the next day, rearrange his face into a scowl—it was clear that he hated it, joke or not. honestly, you didn’t have the guts to attempt to make them stop, for you knew that if you had, you just knew that the public would somehow find a way to turn it into “ proof “ that you were dating, all because he got so riled up and flustered. which was silly, really, since it was a perfectly normal human reaction to something like this.

though you can’t help but wonder if, perhaps, he did feel that way about you, and maybe that was the reason he—

no, no, what were you thinking? he couldn’t possibly...right? you were just partners. nothing more, nothing less.

but if he did think of you like that, would you want something more?

“ oh come on, just admit it! if not to the public, then to us at least. aren’t we friends? “

“ yeah, icy hot. i mean, seriously, have more guts— “

“ ...how many fucking times do i have to tell you, bakugou...we’re not a couple. denki, stop playing around. you’re egging him on. “ shoto’s harsh tone cuts sharply through the banter between denki and the overly-intense ashen blonde, bringing it to an abrupt end. it didn’t exactly last very long, though.

“ yeah, yeah. that’s what i said about that dumbass deku, and look where we are now. “ he rasps, a knowing smirk playing on his face as he pulls his now-blushing boyfriend close.

“ not everything is about love, bakugou. “ he smirks.

“ yeah, who knew you’d be the one to turn out to be such a romantic? “ denki laughs, earning a solid punch to his arm.

“ owww! that actually hurt. “ his lips jut out in a pout, rubbing over the blooming patch of light purple.

“ oh, shut up, idiot! “

“ you know what? fine. y/n? “

you pause, perfectly still and unmoving as the coldness of his eyes burned his unknown intent into you.

“ y-yeah? “

he strides over to you, appearing only inches away within the briefest of seconds. one of his hands quickly finds a home against your cheek, tilting it to look up at him. your heart pulsates at a nearly impossible rate.

“ kiss me. “

“ what? “

“ just this once. to prove that we don’t have feelings for each other. “ he says, rolling his eyes at denki and bakugou, who were futilely trying to cover their smirks.

heat rises to your cheeks, cauterizing them with an unfamiliar flame. “ oh! uh! i—sure.“

what other choice did you have? after all, you did want to prove to everyone that there really was nothing between you and shoto. or maybe, just maybe, you were also trying to prove it to yourself?

no, no. that couldn’t be. it couldn’t.

he wastes no time. his skin, cold and smooth, fingers like porcelain streams, grasp your chin with a fast-paced elegance which sends a prominent shudder down your back. his lips hover just above yours, and the tension buzzing between you is ridiculously electric. he’s so close, your heartbeat rings in your ears and his breath shallowly fans upon your face as he peers into your eyes with his own. you allow them to fall closed.

as if on cue, his lips meet yours with a gentle, albeit fairly aggressive peck. but as soon as they do, your chest spurns with the fibres of your heartstrings, embroidering them tightly into the knots of his own tangled past. you know what he said. you know what you said—it was all to prove that you didn’t feel anything for one another.

but then why did it feel so oddly...right?

he pulls away, and your lips suddenly feel empty, deserted. the electric thrum still prickles at your lips, wanting, no—needing, more. you hate how much your body craved him, how desperately you wanted for his arms around you again. there’s too much emotion, an overwhelming influx. it is near impossible to even articulate it, at least not in a way which could ever hope to properly encapsulate the undeniable magic of the moment. you were being so damn melancholic, and that was saying something, even for you.

when his lips leave yours, you cannot help but be frozen in your simple state of bliss, utterly dazed with hazy remnants of how annoyingly addicting it was. your eyes gloss over with a sense of want, sparkling with the same glitters his icy eyes met yours with. his hand remains on your cheek, but his touch softens against yours.

your silent stare prolongs for more than just the fleeting moment, as if you were subconsciously grabbing at it with invisible arms, reaching desperately to bring each other back. that was when it hit you; the blinding realization that you did, in fact, want this. want him. and yet, you couldn’t help but hesitate. what about him? did he want this? no, no, he couldn’t possibly. after all, this whole kiss situation was only because he wanted to prove that explosive idiot wrong, that there was nothing between you two but teamwork and good quirk compatibility.

your heart stings at the minor epiphany, the thoughts piercing at your head in an endless swirl of emotions. second-guessing yourself, wondering why you even cared whether or not he thought of you that way. or at least, how he didn’t think of you that way. the tiniest shine of a tear begins to coat your lashes when—

his lips crash against yours for a second time, his hand now trailing towards your scalp, weaving through the fibres as his lips danced upon yours. your guard, your hesitation fully melting away in his arms.

but alas, you made the mistake of allowing yourself to forget that people were watching too.

“ ha! i knew it! i fucking knew it! “ kaminari’s playful voice rings like the most annoying song ( in this moment, i mean come on, you loved the guy, but right now? not exactly helping your stance of “ we don’t see each other like that “ ) as his head peaks out from the halls.

instantly you break away, pulling from each other as your hand flies to clamp over your mouth, eyes bulging wide at what you had just done. you had just kissed shoto. in front of, well, practically everyone! since when did mina and kirishima even get here?!

“ shit. “ shoto mutters deeply, thrashing his hands into his two-toned hair in frustration.

“ shoto, i—i’m so sorry, i didn’t know they would— “

“ no, no. don’t apologize. it’s my fault. i...i shouldn’t have gone for a second ki— “

“ honestly, i think i would’ve been more mad at you if you haven’t. “

“ WHAT?! “ your little audience shrieked. your palms clasped right over your mouth after the admission, face burning with embarrassment. the words left you before you could even think them through. had you really just said that? in front of everyone? how carefree can you be?

you stare into the ground, focusing on literally anything but him.

“ hey. look at me. “

you refused.

“ y/n. “ his hand goes up to your chin, making you look up at him. the pout on your face is so plainly obvious, it makes his heart twitch in a slight pain. you could almost swear you heard mina squeal faintly at the boldness of his action, considering the predicament you two were currently stuck in.

“ what? “

“ i...i think i would’ve regretted it more if i hadn’t kissed you again. “

“ you—what? “

“ i...i didn’t want to pull away. “

“ holy shit. “

“ shut up bakugou! “

“ i wanted...i wanted it to last a little longer. “

“ jeez, and i thought i was bad at confessing my feelings. pft. this is just embarrassing to watch. “

“ same here. i mean you did ask midoriya out by yelling ‘ i love you, dumbass! ‘ from outside his dorm window. “

“ hey, idiot! we don’t talk about that! “

“ shhhh both of you! shut up! we are witnessing an important romantic moment here! “

“ i...seriously? “

“ seriously. and i—i don’t know what the hell this feeling....is. but i....i just— “

“ it’s okay. “ you shoot him a reassuring smile, the same kind you always did in the midst of battle, that comforting smile that let him know you had his back. you communicated with your eyes, though usually they were bloodshot with adrenaline and smudged with ash, there truly was no need for words. not with him.

“ y/n...i— “

“ awwwww aren’t they the cutest? now kiss again! “

“ mina. “ he shoots her a lightly cold stare.

“oh come on! let us have our fun, yeah, icy hot? “ bakugou slings his arm over kaminari’s shoulder, whose grin matches that of his blonde-haired counterpart.

“ i thought i told you not to call me— “

“ shoto. “

he immediately turns to you, slipping into serenity at the sound of your voice.

“ ah shit, here they go again. we get it, you’re a cute couple! “

“ mina, i told you. we’re not a co- “ his eyes snap to yours, lips parting in a hesitant pause.

“ not a what, icy hot? “ the smirk exuding of utter smugness upon bakugou’s face only spreads all the wider.

he allows his hands to fall, taking yours within his. there is a brief, yet definite moment of silence before he speaks again. “ i mean... “

your gaze is focused on the way his hands fully envelope yours, and the unexplainable, tingly feeling you’re getting from it all. despite that, you could still very well see mina and kaminari excitedly waving and bouncing in all sorts of directions, as if they were...cheering you on? it was almost as if they were more fired up about all this than you were.

keyword; almost.

“ shoto, i— “

and suddenly his composure and poise breaks, and all that’s left is the rare sight of shoto todoroki, stuttered in a blushing, shaky mess. “ i mean, i wouldn’t be opposed to it. not—not like i desperately want to or anything, but at the same time i—i just—fuck, why is this so har— “

you rise onto your tip toes, hands encircling his neck as you kiss him. what unknown spirit possessed you with the guts to make the first move, it was fully unbeknownst to you. but you weren’t complaining, no. not in the slightest.

“ HOLY SHIT?? “

“ my baby’s all grown up now— “

“ dumbass, they’re not your bab— “

“ they’re mine. “

“ i— “

“ that is, if you want to b— “

“ well no shit, dumbass! “ you jump into his arms, squealing as you squeeze him tight.

“ good. because...so do i. “

“ i told you! “

“ shut up idiot! “

“ hey, so now can we start a fan account for you two on instagram? i’m sure it’d totally blow up! “ mina squealed with a wink, holding up her phone, already halfway through the sign up process.

“ mina! “ everyone groaned in a laughter-filled unison.

so that was it, you supposed.

you did have feelings for each other.

[marvels-writings]

Used To

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist

Sequel: World Turned Upside Down

Requested by @trikruismybitch​ : NatxReader, 12,18,19,22,29 <-said by R, angst questions. Nat cheats on R with R’s Bestfriend (Steve or Bucky) Nat saying 44, 23<- angst questions, 26, 49 angst dialogue. Just really angsty maybe include a little confrontation with Nat, R, Steve/Bucky with the avengers witnessing it? I’m in the mood for heartbreak (:</p>

12: “Can’t you see how fucked up this is?”

18: “When did you stop loving me?”

19: “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

22: “Which part of me wasn’t enough?”

23: “How do I make you love me again?”

44: “How do we fix this?”

26: “Will you ever forgive me?”

49: “Will I ever see you again?”

Word Count: 6.2k (heartbreakingly good)

A/N: I loved writing this, as tiring and angsty as it was. I think this is one of the drabbles i’ve cried while apologizing and writing it. It’s really good in my opinion, please do me the honor of reading it.

Moonlight blurred with string lights, bringing you into a gradient of golden and white colors. The balcony was set up, the fairy lights adorning the open-air gazebo above you. The light shone through the glass of red wine you held, the blood-like light splattering on your hands as you played with your food.

Natasha’s voice flowed around the small balcony, bringing to light her most recent mission. Her voice the only sound throughout the entire date. It wasn’t like her to ignore your silence, yet here you were. She had spent hours decorating the roof for your date night, even longer learning to make your favorite food and serving it to you, you were almost guilty for not trying to enjoy it.

How could you when your emotions cloud your judgment? The emotions brought from weeks of observing your girlfriend and your best friend. You thought you knew Natasha would never hurt you, you almost wished she wouldn’t.

But everything seemed to be changing around you. Bucky was spending more time with Natasha than before. You could’ve sworn you saw him leave her room just before you came back from a mission. You could’ve sworn you saw the same lovesick smile she wore around you, around him.

You were just being paranoid, you almost hoped you were being paranoid, to the point where you were ignoring the signs she didn’t cover. Today, you couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Your girlfriend was wearing an off-shoulder sweatshirt, revealing a hickey on the skin there. You had been on a mission for almost a week, today was the first day you came back. The dark mark was covered heavily in foundation, it showed through the heavy attempt to cover it up.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of it for almost half an hour. Every time you tried to look away or even distract yourself for it, for a few seconds. Your eyes always came back to it.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha asked, a coy smile playing on her lips. “You’ve been quiet lately.”

You tilted your head to the side, considering lying to her, even though it might not work. Taking your eyes off her shoulder to look at her eyes, you set down your fork. The green orbs shone in the soft candlelight, almost distracting you from your turmoil. Almost.

“What?” Nat chuckled, leaning back in her seat, squirming slightly. “I know my cooking isn’t the best, but-”

“When did you stop loving me?” You cut her off, licking your lips nervously.

Your heart hammered against your chest, terrified of her response. What if you were wrong? What if nothing was going on?

Some part of you hoped you were wrong and this would just be another fight. A small voice told you that you were right, you tried desperately to ignore it. You couldn’t, especially when you saw Natasha try to cover up the hickey on her shoulder. It only resulted in smudging the makeup, revealing it more as the cloth slid back.

“I didn’t,” Natasha stated, her brows furrowing in confusion as she leaned forwards into her chair. Her eyes bored into yours, almost asking you why you were upset.

“Then what is this?” You asked, leaning forwards, fingers reaching towards the mark on her shoulder.

 Your hand had barely moved forwards when your girlfriend pulled away. Natasha glanced to the mark before turning towards you. Her face wove itself into a mask, hiding anything she was feeling.

“I, this isn’t.” Natasha stuttered, falling silent when she saw the expression on your face. 

It wasn’t an expression she had seen before. Your lips were pursed tightly, the bags under your eyes seeming more prominent than ever. But your eyes, she wasn’t sure she had ever seen then so despondent.

“How long?” You asked quietly, clearing your throat as your voice trembled. You didn’t want to show how upset you were, not yet. She was barely showing any emotion, you wanted to try to do the same.

“What?” Natasha asked, unsure if she heard you correctly. Her hand inched towards yours on the table, almost flinching when you drew away suddenly.

“How long have you and Bucky been…” You trailed off, you couldn’t say it.

Maybe if you said it, it would become more clear than it is now. Even now, Natasha could deny everything, keeping reality away from you. You weren’t sure if you could handle this reality, starting to prefer if you hadn’t noticed anything.

“Not that long.”

Her mouth opened to speak again, maybe try to make excuses or try to get you to forgive her. You didn’t care, cutting off her lies before she could speak again.

“Don’t lie to me.” You hissed, face morphing into anger as you stared her down. The redhead flinched at your harsh tone, unfamiliar to having it used on her.

Natasha licked her lips, her fingers inching towards the mark to try to cover it up again. It would still be too late, she couldn’t hide the signs once they had been noticed, she couldn’t fix what she broke.

You waited for her to say anything, to tell the truth, to explain why she did this. Nothing, she didn’t speak at all. Her eyes bored into yours as if she was trying to beg you to forgive her with her eyes. You barely noticed when her hand inched towards yours again, her fingers touching yours.

You almost let yourself back into her again.

“I’m sorry, y/n,” Natasha whispered, her thumb drawing patterns on the back of your hand before you quickly drew away. Your thumb rubbed the back of your hand, trying to wipe away the feeling of her touch.

“Sorry?” You scoffed, gesturing vaguely around you. “You think you can just say you’re sorry and that would fix this?”

Natasha hesitated, emotions beginning to leak through her meticulously kept mask. The regret flooding off of her in waves. But underneath it all, you thought you could see a thread of fear. Fear of losing you.

“How do we fix this?” The redhead asked, leaning forwards in her seat. Wincing when she spoke the wrong word. Your eyebrow raised in anger.

“We?” You asked, eyebrow still raised as your arms crossed above your chest. 

Your jaw clenched tightly, muscles tensing as you tried desperately to form some sort of mask. It got harder as you spoke, your voice trembling as tears began to gather in your eyes.

“Natasha, I don’t think you can fix this.” You muttered, hoping you were wrong. 

But there was nothing she could do. The mistake had been made. You had to live with it, even though you wanted to leave it behind.

���You broke everything we had.” You muttered, a tear slipping down your cheek. It looked like liquid gold because of the lighting.

You inhaled sharply when you saw the redhead reach forwards to wipe away your tear. Leaning backward, you almost fell out of your chair when you stood up abruptly. Footsteps neared the door as you tried to leave this mess.

You heard Natasha’s chair clatter to the floor when she stood up to chase after you. Her footsteps barely behind you as she followed you out. More tears began to stream down your face, dropping on the ground below you.

The door slammed shut behind you, leaving Natasha outside. It wasn’t locked, she could follow you if you wanted to. Though, you doubted she would.

You leaned your back against the door, breathing heavily as tears soaked your cheeks. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do. Should you leave? Wait for her in your room? But you couldn’t go back to the same bed where she had forgotten you.

A heavy sigh left your lips as you went in search of someone you could trust.

————

The loud bang of the balcony door was accompanied by rapid footsteps nearing your door. Wanda looked up from her bed, frowning in concern. Pictures were spread out on her bed as she tried to sort through them, wanting to make a photo album.

She expected to hear the sound of your bedroom door slamming shut. It was usually what happened after you fought with Natasha. This time, it didn’t happen.

Waves of anger and despair hit her as the footsteps neared your door. The slam still didn’t sound, she decided you might be waiting for someone. She bit her lip, nervously walking towards her closed door to open it.

The door handle twisted slowly before revealing you. 

You stood in front of her door, your hand raised as if you were just about to knock. Tears stained your face, your eyes still glistening with them. Your hair was messy as if you’d been running your hands through it. Your hand dropped as she opened the door, your fingers wringing together as you glanced down.

“Y/n, what happened?” Wanda asked, opening the door a little wider. Her brows furrowed in concern as you avoided eye contact with her. Your entire body seemed to be shivering despite the warmth inside.

“Can I, can I come in?” You stuttered, shivering a little more. The witch nodded and let go of the door. But you didn’t seem to notice the gesture, your eyes vacant as you watched her.

“Of course.” She stated, stepping back to give you room to step in. The witch glanced around outside, incase Natasha was behind you. She spotted her red hair, glancing towards your girlfriend as she began to close the door.

Green eyes stared at the witch as she closed the door. It shut with a soft click, Wanda licked her lips nervously. Guilt rolled off Natasha in waves, the witch could almost hear her thoughts through the door. 

Shutting her off, she sighed and turned towards you.

You stood near her bed uncomfortably, glancing towards the pictures. Your eyes seemed to linger on the pictures of you with Natasha, more tears beginning to form in your eyes. Your lip slid in between your teeth, watching the images before turning back around to face Wanda.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, gesturing to the bed for you to sit.

Hesitantly, you sat down, not before moving away the pictures laying there. One of the pictures were when you had celebrate your second anniversary with Natasha, Wanda was posing behind both of you as you took a picture.

 Your fingers ran over your happy smiles with an air of nostalgia.

“It’s Nat, she,” You bit your lip harder, willing the tears to stop flowing.

 They spilled forth anyway, a drop of blood staining your lip from where you were biting it so hard. Letting your lip loose, more tears spilled forth. A sob wrenched its way from your throat as you hunched over, eyes stinging.

Wanda sat down in front of you, one of her hands resting on your knee. She tried to look at you, looking up at you to see your face. Your hands covered your face in a hasty attempt to hide your mess. Your back shook sporadically as you shivered, your body wracked with sobs.

Red wisps caught your eye, you glanced towards it before turning to look up at Wanda. Her hand gestured towards your head. She looked at you innocently, hoping you would let her see what had happened.

It wasn’t the first time Wanda had asked. 

You had come to her many times with nightmares or something that left you broken. She helped you with her powers, using them to help you instead of harming others. You trusted her completely, more than Natasha.

You nodded weakly, trying to bring the argument to the front of your mind. The images began to play through, the hickey on her shoulder, Bucky leaving the room once you came back from a mission, the looks they shared. All of it came to the front of your mind.

Wanda looked slightly confused, unsure of what was happening as she probed further. You tried to conjure an image of them in the act. But you couldn’t, more tears began to fall from your eyes as you tried to clear your mind.

But one image kept showing, no matter what. The same smile Natasha always wore when she told you she loved you. Her lies kept coming back to you.

Wanda’s eyes widened as red wisps stopped flowing between her fingers. Her eyes bored into yours, emotions running through her. The main one being shock.

“She, oh my god,” Wanda stuttered, unable to believe it.

Your relationship with Natasha was the strongest she had seen. You had plans for the future, promises to get through everything together. All of it made you what you were. For Natasha to tear that all down for a few nights of sex, she couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

By the looks of it, neither could you.

“y/n, I’m so sorry.” She whispered though a part of her knew it wouldn’t help. Her hand rested on top of yours comfortingly, trying to provide whatever support she could.

You nodded staring down at her hand nervously. Tears fell from your eyes, streaming down to your shirt and soaking it. Your lips pursed together before you drew your hand away from Wanda’s.

The witch let the silence settle over you, waiting for you to speak. There was nothing she could do, nothing she could say to make this go away. She stayed silent, hoping you would speak eventually. Though, a part of her hoped you wouldn’t say anything, instead seeking comfort in the silence.

“Why?” You asked, voice cracking as you spoke. You bit your lip tightly, trying to steady yourself. Taking in a deep breath, you turned to face Wanda.

Her heart broke a little seeing you like this. Your eyes were turning red and puffy, tears still falling from them. You looked at her with so much pain in your eyes, like you’d watched something die.

In a way you had.

“Why the fuck did she do this?” You asked again, your voice steadier than last time. It still broke slightly as you leaned back against the headboard. Your jaw clenched as you waited for the witch to answer.

You didn’t know what you expected her to answer. Maybe she would tell you it was a mistake, or this was just a bad dream you needed to wake up from. 

Part of you hoped for that last reason, almost clinging onto it like a lifeline.

“I don’t know,” Wanda whispered, shattering the last of your hopes.

You licked your lips, tasting the salt from your tears, remembering how Natasha used to wipe them away. You could feel the ghost of her touch her thumbs running over your cheeks as you cried. 

Her comfort after you had a nightmare. 

Her lips on your skin as she drew you out of your mind’s hell.

You wiped your face angrily, trying to wipe away the ghost of her touch. The last thing you wanted was to be seeking comfort from the same woman who broke you. Turning to Wanda, you saw the gears turning in her head as she tried to come up with a solution.

“Maybe you can still work this out?” Wanda suggested timidly, cowering slightly.

You huffed, running one hand through your hair as you stood up. Voice caught in your throat, you coughed before speaking. The witch moved away from you, knowing she had said what you didn’t want to hear.

“Wanda, I don’t think…” You trailed off, palms digging into your eyes to stop the tears from flowing. 

A broken groan escaped you, the pain worsening. Your chest tightening as your arms fell to your sides. You gave up, a sigh leaving your lips as you stared down at her.

“Can’t you see how fucked up this is?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing. It was as if you were begging her to see your point of view. 

Wanda winced as she shook her head, waiting for you to explain. You almost didn’t want to, scared of narrating your worst nightmare.

“I wasn’t enough for the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” You muttered, jaw clenching shut tightly.

Memories came back to you, memories of talking to Natasha about your dreams. Everything you wanted to do later, from the small cabin on the lakeside, to what you wanted to name your children. 

All of your plans, even to the small outdoor wedding you had planned. 

All of the things you wanted to do with her, gone.

“And Bucky, of all people,” You sighed, running one hand through your hair, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Deflating, you sighed as your anger began to leave you. An empty feeling taking it’s place as tears continued to stream once more.

“even if it was a stranger it wouldn’t be that bad.” You said, another heavy sigh leaving your lips as you set your hands onto your lap. You leaned backward, laying down on the bed, fidgeting with your fingers as the witch watched you.

Bucky is, no, was your best friend. He had helped you through your hardest of places, you’d helped him once he came back from HYDRA. He was the person you wanted to go to after a long day to rant about, the person you trusted most.

 It was almost ironic that he did this.

“When, when you and Vision broke up, how did you cope?” You asked, turning to face Wanda. 

Her lips were pursed, she wanted to keep the answer to herself. You had been there when the breakup had happened, you had seen how miserable she was. But she pilled through it in a matter of months.

“Y/n…” Wanda trailed off, not wanting to answer. She wasn’t sure if you were going to break up with Natasha, she almost hoped you wouldn’t.

“Please?” You asked again, watching her carefully. Wanda caved with a heavy sigh, avoiding eye contact with you as she spoke.

“I had a few one night stands.” She confessed, glancing up at your. “Then I left for a month, to take a break from everything.”

You huffed in frustration, her answer wasn’t something you had hoped for. If it was something you wanted to do, you would’ve gone for it. But one night stands, it didn’t make sense. 

Leaving everything, that seemed a better option, even though it shouldn’t.

Wanda watched you carefully, seeing what you were going to do. She could see you weren’t going to do what she did. But you might leave, she couldn’t blame you if you did.

“You’re not the kind of person for one night stands,” Wanda stated, her jaw clenching as she noticed your posture stiffen. You relaxed slightly as you spoke, your words more of a quiet confession than an answer.

“No,”

“But you want to hurt her the same way she hurt you.” She continued, hoping she was wrong. 

The look you gave her confirmed she was right.

Your pain was morphing into anger, wanting Natasha to feel some of the pain she was causing you. The last thing you had wanted to cause her was pain, after this, you weren’t sure what you wanted anymore.

“You didn’t need to read my mind to figure that out.” You scoffed, turning away from her towards the window. The stars shone in the sky, the clouds nearing the slowly to cover the light that remained.

“I didn’t,” Wanda whispered, almost too quietly for you to hear.

Silence filled the room again as you considered what to do next. What options were there, you could stay and try to work things out or break up with Natasha. Or you could leave, away from this giant mess she had created. You had the right to.

“Do you think I should leave? Take a break?” You asked, turning towards the witch. She shrugged, not knowing what to answer. Her knees were curled up to her chest, her chin resting comfortably on top as she watched you.

“I think you should do what’s best for yourself,” Wanda answered, truly thinking so for the first time. 

She didn’t want you to leave, but it was probably what was best for you.

You chuckled sadly, wiping away the tear stains on your face. A hand-wound itself in your hair as you smiled again. Your eyes glazed over as memories continued to filter through your head.

“You know, I used to think that Natasha was the best thing that happened to me, the best thing for me.” You turned to face Wadna, silent tears streaming down your face. 

They rolled off your cheek and into the blanket below you, creating small stains. Your words stung you, a crushing feeling in your chest as you continued speaking.

“That being with her was all I would ever need.” You continued, feeling the air leave your lungs as you remembered the feeling. The feeling of looking at her and thinking, almost knowing that this was all you needed for the rest of your life.

Natasha was all you had needed.

“I used to think she felt the same.” You muttered, turning to face the ceiling. Your arms felt heavier than they should be, too heavy to wipe your face. You let them remain there, licking your lips again. Aware of the pitiful green eyes watching you.

Wanda stayed silent, unsure if you were finished. Even if you were, there wasn’t much she could say. 

You opened your mouth again, closing it as you chose your words carefully. A broken chuckle left your lips as you turned on your side, propping your head on your arm.

“How foolish, I used to think she loved me.”

Your words resounded in the room, circling back to you as you spoke them. They were so tired like you’d already given up on Natasha. You’d given up on everything you had, even your plans.

Wanda watched you turn away from her to sleep. The crying had worn you out, you found some comfort in thinking your mind couldn’t come up with a nightmare worse than your reality.

There wasn’t anything she could do to comfort you. If she tried to reassure you, maybe tell you that Natasha loved you, she would be lying. 

You had already been through enough lies.

She sighed, pulling up her knees and taking a book from the nightstand. Sleep wasn’t something that would come easily to her. Your thoughts were still too loud, she did her best to try to comfort you using her powers.

Eventually, you fell into a dreamless sleep. 

One devoid of lies and Natasha, one almost better than the reality you were in.

————

Noise from the bathroom filled the room as you lay on the bed. Sunlight streamed through the open blinds into your eyes. Wanda was in the bathroom, you were alone in the small bedroom. The pictures which were there last night had been moved.

Treasuring the small moments of the morning, you avoided the events of yesterday as you hoisted yourself of the bed. 

Honestly, you weren’t sure what you were going to do. Natasha was still in the compound, waiting to talk to you. She wasn’t one to run away after fights, you were.

Rapid knocking sounded on the door. Your head snapped to the doorway, waiting for a voice to sound.

“Y/n?” Natasha called, the door muffling her concerned voice. “Please, I know you’re in there.”

You froze at hearing her voice, convincing yourself she would go away if you didn’t do anything. Soft footsteps sounded near the bathroom. Wanda stood in the doorway, hair wet from her shower as she watched you.

It was up to you to let her in. If you talked to her, what good could come out of it? Maybe the apology, maybe a plea, but nothing enough to make you stay. If you didn’t want to talk to her, you knew you could ask Wanda.

 But it wouldn’t make this go away. It would only delay the inevitable.

Licking your lips dryly, you shook your head, deciding not to talk to her. Wanda nodded to you, heading towards the door to tell her off. The lock sounded as the doorknob rattled, along with the sound of a lock being picked.

Your eyes widened slightly as the door opened. Natasha stood behind the half-open doorway. You looked away from her as she came in, jumping to your feet.

“Y/n-” Natasha began, not getting in another word as you whirled to face her.

“NO!” You shouted, finally looking at her. Her eyes were red and swollen, hair messy but she still looked like the same woman who had lied to you. You couldn’t do this, not now.

“Natasha, I don’t want to talk to you.” You stated, keeping your voice level to not scream at her. Wanda glanced at both of you, unsure what to do. You stared her down, waiting for her response.

“Please? Just let me apologize.” Natasha pleaded, wincing under your gaze. Her eyes bore into yours, looking for any sort of response. But you’d shut yourself down, adamant to not give her any reaction. though, you doubted that would last.

“Let me try to fix this.” She asked, hoping to get a response from you, hoping you would let her explain.

But you didn’t, you scoffed and raised an eyebrow. Your arms crossed over your chest confrontationally as you looked at her. Heart hammering in your chest, you tried to stop feeling. Stop feeling everything, the nostalgia of what you were, the pain of this, everything.

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” You asked, voice cracking as you spoke.

Natasha paused, the answer clear in itself. She had done enough, there was nothing she could do to fix this. Explaining it could only make it worse. What could she explain anyway? 

Explain why you weren’t enough for her?

You didn’t want to stay near her. It was strange, how her mistake managed to turn everything upside down. You used to think of her as your home, the only place you felt safe and protected. Now, you’d give anything to be away from her.

Shoving past her, you headed out the door. Natasha didn’t hesitate to follow you, arm reaching out when she stopped herself.

You didn’t know where you were going, storming into the common room where the rest of the team was. They glanced up at you coming in, Natasha and Wanda at your heels.

“Y/n, please stay, just-” Natasha began, reaching out for you again. You turned around at her words, close to shoving her away from you before she stepped away.

Bucky looked up at both of you guiltily while the rest of the Avengers observed. None of them knew about your fight yesterday. Natasha had kept it under wraps, hoping she could fix this before they found out.

“Why the fuck should I stay, Natasha?” You asked, voice cracking as tears began to form in your eyes.

 The whirlwind of emotions you were avoiding caught up with you. A sob choked in your throat as you glanced away from her.

“Why should I stay when everything I gave you still wasn’t enough for you?” You demanded, stepping closer to her to look her in the eye.

Natasha avoided looking at you, trying her hardest to mask her emotions. Every question you asked cracked her mask more until it began to break. The weight of her mistake was bearing down on her, nearing like a wrecking ball. She was scared it was too late to fix the wreckage.

“Why should I stay when everything we were,” You said, wiping your face hastily to clear the tears. “everything we could have been didn’t matter to you?”

You clenched your jaw tightly, unexpectant towards answers to your questions. You watched her, thinking she would lie to you again. But she didn’t, she stared down at the ground as her eyes grew watery.

Her mask finally broke.

Tears slipped down her face, dripping onto the floor, landing with the soft patter of raindrops. Showing emotion wasn’t common to her, crying was out of the question. She had rarely let you see her breakdown, let alone the rest of the team.

Silence shrouded the room in an ugly cloud. Natasha’s sobs the only sound in the room. No one dared to move, watching both of you intently. The redhead opened her mouth, closing it after as she weighed her words.

“You should stay because I love you,” Natasha whispered, her voice barely loud enough for you to hear.

You licked your lips slowly, eyes tracing the tears falling down her cheeks. A small part of you wanted to wipe them away, to never hurt her again. It was what you’d promised her after all, to never hurt her or lie to her.

It never occurred to you that she would be the one hurting you. That she would be the one who should have made that promise.

“I don’t love you anymore.” You stated, keeping your voice as flat as you could.

Natasha looked up to you, searching your face for your tell. She couldn’t see it, staring at you, desperately hoping you were lying. It was like she was searching for you, but instead of looking for the truth, she was looking for the lie.

There wasn’t one. 

You were telling her the truth.

“Not after this,” You muttered, facade breaking as you let out a sigh. Your eyes slipped to Bucky, who looked up at you. Shutting your eyes tightly, you looked away from him, unable to look him in the eye.

There wasn’t anything you could say. Your heart thudded dully in your chest, the nervousness of seeing Natasha wearing down. Now, you were just upset and angry. All you wanted was to leave.

But there was a question you needed to ask her.

“How do I make you love me again?” Natasha asked, speaking before you could. 

You sighed again, a despondent sound as you looked back up at her. Your eyes were vacant, sad like you’d given up on her.

“I don’t think you can Nat.” You whispered. A sad smile graced your lips, twisting the corners of your mouth into a broken look.

You turned around, about to leave when you remembered the question you’d been asking yourself the moment all of this began. You didn’t want to ask her, scared of the answer. But you wanted to know.

“Just tell me one thing.” You began, turning back around to face her. Natasha looked up at you hopefully, but your expression was serious, crushing her hopes easily.

“Which part of me wasn’t enough for you?”

Natasha opened her mouth but closed it after. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She should have answered something. Maybe lie to you, tell you that nothing was wrong with you. But she didn’t admit it, staying silent.

“No, I genuinely don’t understand.” You ran one hand through your hair, stepping backward. Your eyes glanced around the room.

Wanda was watching the interaction, looking at you worriedly. Steve’s face showed nothing, but his eyebrows were furrowed in anger as he looked at Natasha. You didn’t look at Bucky, you still couldn’t. He sat in your peripheral, looking from you to Natasha guiltily.

“I don’t understand how I wasn’t enough for you.” You spoke, voice wavering as tears began to form in your eyes. “I don’t understand how you slept in the same bed as me, knowing you had broken us.”

Natasha didn’t say anything.

She slept in the same bed as you, made plans with you about your future, told you she loved you. All in the same day she had cheated on you. All in the same day she decided you weren’t enough for her.

“How, how did you even sleep at night?.” You spoke, stepping forward to look into her eyes.

“In the same bed, we talked about spending the rest of our lives together, you broke us.” 

Natasha opened her mouth to speak, a strangled sound coming out. Her eyes glanced down, staring at the floor instead of you. She had never seen you this hurt. Even after missions, when you were scared and crying after a nightmare.

She hurt you more than anyone before, even though you had given her what no one had.

“Y/n, please, it was a mistake,” Natasha begged you, pleading you with her eyes. You stepped away, betrayal shining in your face as you did so. Her eyes slipped to Bucky who looked almost as guilty as she did.

“Please just,” She reached forwards to take your hand, watching you pull away quickly. 

Her eyes shut tightly in a desperate effort to stop crying. It only irritated her eyes as more tears slipped away. She looked up at you again, staring at your blank face.

“Will, you ever forgive me?” She asked, watching your facade crash into anger.

Forgiveness. After everything, after throwing away everything, she dared to ask for your forgiveness. It was almost funny how naive this situation had made her. Anger shrouded you as you looked at her.

“You don’t deserve to be forgiven.” You stated harshly, clenching your jaw tightly.

The redhead winced at your word, a broken chuckle leaving her lips as she looked up at you. She remembered when you had told her otherwise. When you had told her she deserved to be forgiven for her mistakes. 

What she had ruined would come to haunt her.

“You convinced me I deserved to be forgiven, that I deserved love,” Natasha whispered, fondly remembering your promises to her.

You remembered your reassurances as clearly as she did, maybe even clearer. Her nightmares were always more shattering than the reality. But you were always there for her, convincing her that she deserved your love.

“And you had me convinced that you loved me.” You breathed, watching the fondness fade from her face into heartbreak.

You knew she still loved you. She had told you too many times, making it a tradition more than important words. The first time she said them, it was more difficult than you had thought. After, it was almost like the words were meaningless to her.

“I believed you, I used to think you loved me.” You spoke, heartbreak resonating in your tone as you turned away.

Everyone was still watching you intently. Your entire family was watching you, the rest of the team was in the living room now. Funny, the only time you thought they would be watching you and Natasha talk like this would be at your wedding, the day you promised each other your lives. 

Now, they were watching as you broke apart.

She opened her mouth to speak. You winced, waving her off.

“Don’t, don’t say anything.” You stuttered, stepping back slightly. You didn’t want to hear her speak, her lies, or her truth. Not that you could tell the difference anymore. She closed her mouth in surprise.

“I can’t tell the difference between your lies and your truth.” You said, licking your lips nervously.

To your surprise, she didn’t say anything. Maybe she had given up on trying to fix this. You had already given up.

Looking down, you decided to leave. If you stayed, all you would get was apologies from your family and Natasha. If you stayed, nothing could come out of it. Wanda was right to take a break after her breakup. She came back stronger after it.

Maybe you would come back stronger after. You didn’t know if you ever planned to come back.

“I’m leaving, away from this mess.” You told her, looking around the rest of the room.

They were shocked, but Wanda looked like she expected it. She gave you a small nod, leaving the room quickly. The rest of them looked up at you in shock, almost stepping up to argue with you when they caught sight of a tear making its way down your cheek.

They couldn’t stop you from leaving. Not even if they wanted to.

Your eyes fell to Bucky. He looked up at you apologetically as you finally looked him in the eye. Everything was gone from your eyes, the affection you used to greet him with. He was sure his mistake would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

This was one of his biggest regrets.

“Will I, will I ever see you again?” Natasha asked timidly, hope underlining her tone. She couldn’t stop you from leaving her with her mistakes. All she could do was hope for your return. Upon seeing your expression, that seemed unlikely.

“If the entire world turns upside down, you might.” You said a halfhearted joke as you turned towards the door.

Leaving your things behind, leaving your entire family behind. There wasn’t anything here for you anymore. Her mistake had taken that away too.

Maybe in a few years, you would come back, turn this into a story to tell your friends. Tell them the story about how Natasha Romanoff loved you. The story about how you used to love her.

World Turned Upside Down

A/N: I actually wove all of them together. And everyone who made it down to here, please tell me how it is, I put a lot of time and effort into it. Comment and reblog!!!

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[ladyeliot]

It’s been a long, long time 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Summary: You never knew what fate had in store for you, as if it was testing what it had offered you one day it took away from you the next. It was almost four years after Steve gave himself up to save the world, but you had never given up hope of being with him again.

Warnings: Angst. Disappearance. Fluff ending.

Word count: 2883

A/N: Captain America First Avenger / Avengers Endgame. Some of the dialogue is taken from the film. Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Song: It’s been a long, long time - Harry James

1949.

The rumours of his possible return were fading with time, but hopes were not falling.

Nearly four years had passed since the end of the Second World War, and the consequences were soon felt worldwide, especially by those who had survived that tragic period. You had been present from start to finish, being a potent participant in the covert operations linking the US and the UK. Although you had not been on the front line fighting as a soldier, you had been on the front line commanding the actions they would take. In 1939 you became a member of the British Royal Military, then a recommendation from a superior officer led to you joining the Special Operations Executive, a British spy agency, changing your destiny, causing MI5 to contact you, and then you were seconded to the Strategic Scientific Reserve, a top-secret Allied war agency during World War II, created by President Roosevelt. Too many things happened in a single year, too many things that would change the course of your history, but the most important was yet to happen.

In 1943 you were assigned to Colonel Chester Phillips' training base, known as Camp Lehigh, where you were assigned to supervise the candidate division of Project Renaissance, the project that changed everything. Project Renaissance was a highly secret project run by the United States Government. Its aim was to create super soldiers to be deployed during World War II against the Axis powers, thus having a great advantage in strategic warfare, however things didn't go as planned and they only had one success, a young man from Brooklyn named Steve Rogers.

You could never deny that you didn't notice him the first moment you saw him, he instantly caught your attention in two ways. The first of them was his physical shape, he stood out for his small stature compared to the other cadets, and his physical appearance looked sickly, although his medical record didn't say anything about it. On the other hand, the other aspect that impressed and inspired you was his courage and endurance to face each of the tests they had to pass, as well as his cunning, all of which won you over, as well as the generals of the project, as he was selected for the Renaissance project. The time you spent together at Camp Leigh made you realise the determination and humility he possessed, traits that the other members of the group, or any other man you had met before, possessed only to a slight degree.

The day the experiment was carried out, that is, the injection of the Super Soldier serum into Steve was another turning point in your life, the young man who went into that machine was not the same as the one who would come out of it, at least for everyone present, a human being went in and a super soldier came out, although for you he was still the same Steve Rogers with 30 centimetres more height and greater muscle mass. From then on he became the secret weapon that would overthrow Hitler, as the leader of the project, Dr. Erskine, was killed which meant that Steve was the only one of his kind.

You would have liked to have been able to say that your relationship was moving towards a more effective environment, but you were really living in a period of war, plus your character did not easily fit in with the word love, it never really did, or rather, you had never shown any interest in any man. You were rude, you had suffered enough harassment in your job, a job by and for men, to become insensitive in several cases. You were selective with your friends and also with the people you could trust, that's why every time you felt any affection for someone you stopped it, and that's what happened with Steve at the beginning.

Frankly, there were not too many moments to show your affection for each other, nor to enrich it, but every occasion that brought you together, there were certain feelings in the air that were never expressed in words. You encouraged him to be more than a lab rat or a fair hand for the soldiers at the front, you also helped him from your position with the missions, which after his triumph in rescuing the soldiers of the 107th infantry, were assigned to him. You complemented each other, you understood each other in many aspects that no one had ever understood, you had faith in him and he in you, that is why deep inside you were waiting for the day when the war would end to discover what it would be like to be able to dance with him without any worries around you, but it was not that simple.

As if the universe itself was mocking you, everything it had offered you was taken away in a breath. Even if you had never extrapolated it, your heart shrank every time he marched on a mission in enemy territory, you used to find yourself behind the controls of the base of operations that commanded his missions waiting for his voice or news from him to indicate what the situation was, but the last time what you saw was different. It was all a consequence of your attack on HYDRA HQ, you had worked out a strategy to take out their leader, the Red Skull, Steve was inside and you later came in with the assault guard and became part of the operation. Things had gone a little shaky during the operation, as the Red Skull managed to gain access to a ship and almost escaped from the place, but at that moment you appeared as if you were a breath of air together with Colonel Chester Phillips to offer him the last chance for Steve to finish him off and gain access to the inside of the ship that was about to escape, but not before sharing your first and last kiss. Every day you remember the last words you said to him in person "Go get him." before watching him jump into the plane and disappear into the snowy mountains.

After that, the ship became a direct path to death unbeknownst to you. A few hours later, from the command post, you managed to maintain a direct connection with the ship, specifically with Steve who was still inside it.

"Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?" you all heard from the intercom.

"Steve, is that you? Are you alright?" your heart raced as it did every time he was away from you on a mission.

"Y/N! Schmidt's dead.

That brought a breath of relief that neither of you had experienced for a long time, you could see a little light at the end of the tunnel that was getting closer and closer to you, but what you heard next put the light out again.

"What about the plane?" you asked still worried about his situation.

"That's a little bit tougher to explain," Steve's words were choppy.

It really was complicated, the plane was loaded with explosive devices and was clearly headed for New York City, that meant there was only one possibility and you all knew what it was. You tried to talk him out of it, to find a new solution, but time was running out.

"Y/N, this is my choice," a lump formed in your throat at those words. "Y/N?"

"I'm here," you managed to say with watery eyes and a hand to your lips.

"I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance," you heard through the intercom, as a sharp gust of air rushed in between his words.

"Alright," you hid a soft sob. "A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club."

"You got it," he said firmly, making it seem real that he was going to show up there on Saturday.

"Eight o'clock on the dot. Don't you dare be late. Understood?"

"You know, I still don't know how to dance," a wistful smile appeared on your face at his words.

"I'll show you how. Just be there," you said almost begging him.

"We'll have the band play somethin' slow," Steve picked up the pace of his words, "I'd hate to step on your...

That was the last time you heard his voice, the line connecting the intercom to Steve went static with a soft continuous noise, that's when the tears flowed freely down your cheeks.

"Steve? Steve? Steve?"

Of course, life puts us all to the test, we believe we need redemption for the acts committed in the past, that often makes us lose hope that better times will come.  Almost four years have passed since those last events, since you shared your first and last kiss with your Captain America, since you heard his last words and since you felt that thing called love. Now your life had been turned upside down, you had dreamed for too long of meeting him, of seeing his face again and not only through those war films, but your life went on and you couldn't keep yourself stuck thinking about him, that's why you had decided to leave the Strategic Scientific Reserve and go into a new project with Howard Stark, called S.H.I.E.L.D.

It was unusual for the month of January to have that warm morning out, although it was actually quite comforting as it had brightened up your day, and even when you got home you opted to start cooking to the rhythm of whatever song was playing on the radio, which was unusual for you. The open windows allowed the sun's rays to stream into the living room, offering that homely touch that the little house in the middle of a residential neighbourhood lacked. Due to your countless projects and missions in the SSR you had not been able to enjoy home life as much as you would have liked, although it was really your decision, that house was too quiet and too big for you alone, although the radio offered you the company you sometimes needed.

As if it were a special event you had brought out the table linen and arranged the table in the parlour to eat there for the first time, normally you used the table in the kitchen, for you did not waste too much time on your meals, but this day was a new beginning, a new year, a good time to work out new habits. You opted to open a bottle of wine, which had been a gift from your dear friend Howard Stark, and poured yourself a glass while you waited for the chicken to make its acquaintance in the oven. The rhythmic melody of Nat King Cole along with your glass of wine lifted spirits that hadn't been this high for some time.

"Love is all that I can give to you," you intoned as you walked around the kitchen.

The midday seemed to be going smoothly, until a crashing noise from the front door brought you to a screeching halt. "Ogh, Mrs. Foster," you said to yourself before taking a sip from your glass of wine to fill your spirits. Mrs Foster was the neighbour from across the street who was always knocking on your door whenever she could, hoping to whisper about the other neighbours and glean as much information about you as possible, the funny thing was that she always barged in at the most inopportune times.

"I'm coming!" you exclaimed, taking off your apron and placing it on the counter. "I'm there!"

When you reached the front door you took five seconds to exhale the air inside you, position your dress correctly, take another breath, roll your eyes and expose a wide grin before you very quickly lowered the door handle. We've been talking before about all the turning points that changed your life and shaped your destiny, okay, that was one of them, maybe the most important one of all, the one that set the rest of your life on track.

"Hello Mrs. Fos-!"

Your voice disappeared, your vocal cords seemed to break at that moment, your wide, false smile also vanished as if it had never been on your face, your eyes seemed to have no eyelids and your lungs ran out of air, leaving you breathless. What you saw when you opened that door was your whole life, every moment appeared in front of you as if it were a frame. They say that happens when you are about to die, but it happened to you when the person you had loved had returned from the dead and was prostrate before you. You couldn't tell whether your reaction was the most humane or what someone else would have done in your place because you had never met anyone who had. Soldiers sometimes took long months to return home after the war ended, but it had taken Steve almost four years to do so.

Perhaps there had been hundreds or thousands of times you had imagined that moment, and now you didn't know what to do, your limbs were stiff, you were grateful for it or you would have collapsed in those moments. You kept holding the doorknob tightly, while he stood there on your porch staring at you, not knowing what to do. They were the longest minutes of your whole life, or maybe they were only a few seconds, you didn't know how time worked in those moments, but that didn't matter, your emotions recovered when you looked into his eyes, those blue eyes that you had dreamed of so many nights and they were watery, that was the sign that told you that this was not a dream, it was real life.

The air opened again and passed through your lungs in the form of a gasp, you shared the wateriness of his eyes in yours and in a moment you were wrapped in his arms. You could feel him again, or rather you could feel him around you for the first time. His arms were around your back bringing your body closer to his.

"You're... here." you murmured against his chest almost afraid that your words would make him disappear again.

"I'm home," he whispered against your forehead before kissing it and pulling away to look at your face.

It really was him, you noticed the odd changed feature, as if the years had passed him by more quickly, but there was no doubt that it was Steve. He placed his hands on your cheeks cradling your face, that sensation made you close your eyes as you placed your hands on his. Gingerly, you felt his breath collide against you and the longing for his lips that had haunted you for so many years came to an end.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours.

"No, you're home," you murmured, taking his hand and bringing his palm to your lips.

The open windows of the living room let out the melody of the radio, as if it were one of those Hollywood feature films with its own soundtrack. For a few long minutes you stood there on the porch of your house, oblivious to everything around you, oblivious to curious stares or if the chicken was burning in the oven, there was nothing more relevant than the two of you.

After a few minutes without taking your eyes off each other you took his hand and went inside your home, there were no unnecessary questions, no comments that could break the moment, your gazes were pleased to observe each other and as if your thoughts were connected and the person in charge of playing the songs on the radio knew it, one of Steve's favourite songs began to play. Harry James' voice came into the room, giving you the moment you had wanted for four years in your case, but for Steve it had been many more. 

“Never thought that you would be

Standing here so close to me

There's so much I feel that I should say

But words can wait until some other day”

His arm found position around your waist and your face found position on his chest. You listened to his heartbeat work to the rhythm of the melody, you could never have imagined ever feeling like this again, you would have made a pact with the devil on too many occasions to feel it. It was so unreal that you had to lift your face from his chest to look at his face again, to find out if it really was Steve in front of you, it was. 

“Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It’s been a long, long time

Haven't felt like this, my dear

Since I can't remember when

It’s been a long, long time”

Life had offered you a new opportunity to enjoy it together, and you were never going to miss it.

“You'll never know how many dreams

I've dreamed about you

Or just how empty they all seemed without you

So kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It's been a long, long time”

Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

[itsclydebitches]

re: the game.......it's supposed to be 100% canon (according to miles in part of the stream) and it's set during v7 which is why they intentionally had that timeskip montage to leave room for the events of the game. and miles made a pithy 'before you ask why they didn't talk about it in the show, there's only so much we can do lol we're trying our best' response to what is sure to be criticism the game will draw if something significant happens that we are left wonder why tf none of them ever mentioned anything (especially if they already have plans for the game when they were writing v7)

im already tired

I was admittedly dismissive of the game the other day, mostly because writing up a response to the teaser took a bit of time and when nothing in the game trailer grabbed me I was just like, "Eh, boring." Going back and giving it another go though I'm... mostly confused? First of all, why do we need to essentially skip things in the primary narrative to make room for the game's story? We've spoken ad nauseam about RWBY's tendency to put critical information in its supplementary texts and it's looking as if Arrowfell might be the next on an ever growing list. Why not just do an AU-ish RWBY with a self-contained story? Or rehash the webseries plot with gameplay elements? A lot of us thought Volumes 7-8 were missing crucial character work and if that ends up in the game rather than the show... well, as said, that's an ongoing problem. This approach of, 'We needed to save this for the game and then didn't have time to reference it in the show, sorry' remains incredibly strange to me. Your show is your foundational text! That should always take priority.

Second, am I the only one who finds it strange that we're getting this material immediately post-Ironwood's downfall? Not that RWBY can't ever return to villainous/dead characters, Roman is recent proof of that, though Roman also has a good five years between his exit and this new book. In contrast, we just watched Ironwood turn into someone willing to bomb his own city. He just died a pointless death as his entire Kingdom sunk. We just had the drama surrounding that paid message and the subtle implication that it's weird to care about him as a character, outside of hating him as a villain. Yet now, coming right on the heels of all that, we've got like... super peppy Ruby excitedly following Ironwood's orders?

The timing feels strange to me and even if I'd personally been happy with Ironwood's arc, I'd still be unsure of how to approach this. Again, if it was a self-contained story involving a whole bunch of RWBY characters, regardless of their status in the show — just like Chibi does — then good, great, I understand how we're approaching this. But canonical material of Volume 7, provided via the game as opposed to the show? Am I supposed to just turn off my brain and enjoy the side-scrolling hack-and-slash, putting the concept of canon aside? Read this with an element of tragedy as they do fun side-missions, ignorant of what's to come? Like yeah, it really doesn't need to be that #deep, but just from a storytelling perspective it's strange to get this after we've seen these relationships destroyed.

Finally, but very much going off of the above... why does the group start out fighting mechs? The gameplay and dialogue revolves around grimm attacks, but the opening is Team RWBY being super serious against Ironwood's army, their presumed allies at this point in time.

So what, is it another hack? Is the game going to explore them turning against Ironwood in a manner that retcons the end of Volume 7? Is this a meaningless opening just there for the drama? If so, why not just make all those goons grimm...

As said, the trailer mostly confuses me. I mean, the combat looks decent so far (from what little we can see), the characters are recognizable yet stylized, there's clearly some RPG elements in the form of a plot... I just don't know how to approach this as a piece of the larger RWBY puzzle. Making it "100% canon," rather than a stand-alone RWBY title feels like a mistake, one that keeps cropping up.

[matchamorphosis]

˚₊· ͟͟��͞➳❥  𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐞

𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 || ari punishes you for being a brat during your date out at the summer carnival

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 || pure filth, smut with some fluff

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 || modern AU agent!ari levinson × [black//woc]!reader + crossover!ransom drysdale

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 || 4K ⟶ 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 || @firefly-graphics

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || 18+ nsfw daddy!kink, age gape: reader is twenty one and ari is thirty five (don’t like, don’t read), heavy language, dirty talk, punishment: overstimulation, eating out, blowjob + spanking mention, movie crossover! + you might get a cavity just from reading this

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 || melting by kali uchis ♡ angel by kali uchis ♡ honey baby (SPOILED!) by kali uchis

𝐰. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 || this was initially for @jtargaryen18’s writing challenge #30DaysofChris but i took a long break in the middle of writing it, sorry for the long wait lovely! ♡ this took less time to edit and write than i thought and believed but i hope you guys enjoy it just as much! ♡ reminder : italic means flashback, bold italics means thoughts/exaggerated dialogue, and non-italic/bold means present!

 + p.s || do not repost, republish or plagiarize my work on any other fanfic platform such as: wattpad, ao3, tumblr, etc or steal my work all together. do so and i will rip your spine from your scumy asshole and shove it down your talentless throat. ♡♡♡  

my storybook ღ join my taglist

BABY THIS IS A WONDERLAND

when your tongue licks the bittersweet honey glaze of my pussy lips, where my sinfully divine bubblegum dreams collapse with your good boy deeds but you just keep licking my core desperate. ‘cause baby the milk that leaks from the honey hive in between my thighs is like a strawberry cone to you- and your going to lick me up before I melt under your hot gaze.

"Ari," your meek whimper spills but he keeps licking.

as if he's trying to break the dam that'll give him the strawberry milk that will quench his undying thirst. you’re stuck in this pleasurable killing punishment, if only you knew to stop when you were told to. listen to the voice in your head to stop acting like rotten spoiled brat and you’d have the pleasure to grind your honey slicked cunt against his bearded face.

if only you listened...

"behave," Ari growled into your ear.

the single command is enough for you to roll your eyes and stick your tongue out up at him and so you do. of course Ari is used to seeing this brat but he was sure that with a glare or two you’d clean your act up but you’re still continuing your rotten attitude.

no, you don't want to fucking behave.

subtly walking away from him to the cotton candy vendor, the sound of the man pouring the sugar into the spiraling machine is music to your ears. a glare marks your sharp roseate lined eyes and a pout pulls at your glossed lips, all focused away from Ari but he still sees your rage.

it really wasn’t fair how he expected himself to go on this carnival date with you but not do the one thing that made you want to go. all that adding on that he expects you to behave and not be upset, it wasn’t for and you weren’t planning on calming down.

not even a little tiny bit, cause you want to go into the tunnel of love with him. all the small promises and little compromises made throughout the day as you and him walked and played the colorful tent games did he promise you that you and him would ride.

Ari knew how much this meant to you, you always wanted a special someone to sit besides the romantic boat ride with ever since you were a small girl.

it was his fault that he fell in love with a hopeless romantic, someone yearning to allow themselves be enveloped within the arms of their lover. feel their warmth as the red violet lights start to dim, kiss your lovers lips when you two meet the darkness. giggle when he confesses his sweet darling thoughts of you, you were a romantic for gods sake.

you wanted it so bad, yet every time you seem to mention it Ari deflects the topic with something else. another question or comment or confront your claim in the most abrupt yet sweet way possible.

“not now sweetheart, later maybe-”

“babydoll, do we really have to go in there?”

“it’s to much of a risk for daddy, honey bear!”

he would sweeten those claims up with kisses that would butter your mouth like the popcorn he hand fed you. it was tiring Ari out with your demands to ride The Tunnel of Love but now as he stand there witnessing his precious apple dumpling turn into a rather rotten and bratty apple he may fully turn down the conversation.

on top of that your pink and white gingham sundress displays a bit too much cleavage and leg for Ari’s liking. well he doesn’t like the dress, he loves it but he wouldn’t want you going out displaying it for everyone to see besides him. the nymphet styled cloth you walk so confidently may or may not have half the boys and men eyeing you everywhere you go.

this scene, the boys and grown men undressing you with their list filled hues and eye fucking you with every step your platforms take does make Ari want to snap at them. wonder if their mothers taught them better than to gawk, glare at the silly pubescent boys until they run away shitless. maybe intervene with the lustful stares of the men with a double fist threat.

it doesn’t ease the fire behind his eyes and the clenched fist he has when he’s noticing your smirk- the pounce in your stride that you seem to enjoy the attention.

the very way you bend down near the mirrors of a souvenir cart to re-apply the amber peach lipgloss to your lips is almost intentionally teasing for both Ari and anyone else watching. the way you glance at him through it, lashes batting and your glimmer hint hues screaming fuck me

he now knows this is all part of your game of acting up, you think you can get what you want from disrespecting his order and authority. it was so cute to him how you thought you could get away with your spoiled behavior.

sooner then later Ari is going to bend you over and teach you a lesson on teasing him in public.

the taste of strawberry cotton candy and buttery popcorn is still fresh and lingering in your mouth but you want to taste your juices on his candy red tongue.

"Ari," you carp, his tongue just keeps lapping up at your labia. unbothered and unfazed as hair spills over his forehead, he doesn’t care for he smiles when your plush thighs cage his face.

the continuous strokes of his talented tongue make your pussy flutter and spine shiver. wishing he’d push a fingers or two, god those thick fingers could undo any orgasm from you in matter of seconds. the thought makes a little drool seep from the corners to your mouth and you hug the large blue raspberry bunny Ari won for you closer to your chest. smelling the fruity scent as you whimpered when he bit at your cunt and kissed it better.

you’ve kept the fluffy berry scented stuffie close when Ari striked your ass cheeks earlier wit the same hands that keep your thighs gaped now. allowed you to have that dear comfort as he took on punishing you with his rough spanks.

the burning hand prints are probably visible now just as the wet tears around your eyes. the same streams that stained your peachy cheeks have dried but it wasn’t just your teasing that brought you up in your well deserved punishment.

no, you were in much deeper trouble than for that…

after your little tease show Ari figured to let you have your way, for now. it was always best for him to let you have your way since you were generally upset about not riding on the Tunnel of Love.

now, the golden rays of the sun setting radiated your glowing figure, hand with Ari’s the other holds your frosty pink cotton candy as you take the last bites of it. glancing up at Ari, you see the almost finished chocolate sprinkle swirled ice cream cone in his hand being treated with long slow licks.

attention going from the melting cone to his tongue you can’t help but want it.

want his hot tongue on you, in you.

you want it so so bad that you’re caught off guard when he smirks, not looking at you at all but feeling your stare. he feels your needy wants, knows the devious perverted thoughts going on in your pretty head and its all a dead giveaway when you hold his hand tighter before turning your head away from him.

your sudden shyness makes him let out a laugh. finishing the small cone within a few licks and bites. damn you are a contradiction of innocence and dirtiness that only helps his blood pound in devotion and cock harden in desire.

“what did we say about manners princess? it’s rude to stare at people while they’re eating,” Ari’s deep hushed words rattle your thoughts.

“I know daddy, I-” your words almost stumble when you feel the cool chocolate breaths wave upon your ear and his muscled arm wraps around your waist pulling you closer to him.

“is my princess getting needy? politely tell daddy what you want and maybe he’ll give it to you,” Ari whispers with a soft yet quick peck behind your ear, it’s almost enough for you to whine for more.

Ari knows you just can’t have that, it doesn’t even fill in a teaspoon of the battered lust that needs to be soothed. you really weren’t good at telling him what you wanted, sure physical and replaceable things weren’t an issue, clothes, purses, shoes, books. lets make it clear, if you see it, like it and want it- Ari bought it without hesitation.

however in situations like these, it wasn’t as if it was easy or hard to tell him what you want or what you want him to do to you. you just want him to just touch you, to feel his delicious large and warm hands- his gifted mouth on you already without being asked so many teasing questions.

“I want your tongue, daddy,” your words almost stumble out.

eyes to his now, they flutter innocently at him, biting your bottom lip you look down to notice the small tent at his pants and you smirk. given that rather rude action Ari’s hand that’s on your side goes down to grope the curve of your ass, giving it an equally gentle yet painful squeeze.

“you want daddy’s tongue princess? first tell daddy where you want it-” his sentence was interrupted by the loud vibration of his phone.

buzzing in his pocket you scoff at him when he takes it out to look at the pixel name displayed on the small screen. rolling your eyes when he doesn’t put it away you cross your arms, and let out a huff glaring up at him.

"daddy! mhmm!- daddy no more!" his eyes snap to yours, the sight of you makes him lick his lips.

shiny hair sprawled in all directions, face clouded with lust, the neckline to your pretty dress folded down to reveal your plump tits covered in his love bites. he’s trying his hardest not to give in to the throbbing temptation and smash his mouth against yours, take handfuls of your tits and fuck you till you can only say his name.

but he has much more control than that, he isn’t a needy baby like you. drooling at a few licks to your messy cunt and tits, god Ari knew he was lucky to have landed such a woman like you and you were his to bring as many orgasms as possible.

even if you didn’t want them, you were his little baby and his baby had rules to follow. breaking those rules resulted in punishments and as much as it hurt him to see you cry and whimper it was getting his cock hard to.

“now princess you wanted daddy’s tongue, and now you have it. that’s what you wanted so that’s what you’re going to get.” he muses as you licks your sensitive over-stimulated folds.

“but daddy you gave me four cummies already!-” you fumble into somewhat of a sob but the cry stops once Ari pinches the meat of your inner thighs making you whine at the sudden pain. “ouchy!” you snap, hating these painful thigh pinches but adoring the slow pussy licks.

“i’m teaching you a lesson princess, you’ve been such a fucking brat today so i’m going to treat you like a fucking brat.”

“but daddy!-”

“but what, princess? Daddy told you to stop but you never listen, you’re such a bad listener.” the tinge of disappointment is heartbreaking. tears swimming in your eyes knowing you have let your daddy down and you only wish at that moment -no matter how overstimulated your pussy- you’d go back in time an hour ago to prevent yourself from acting up.

“i’m sorry daddy-” the little broken sob that slips between your trembling lips makes Ari question himself if he’s punishing you too harshly but he thinks otherwise.

so he just tuts you as if he is scolding a child and your eyes swell up with more tears and you feel your bottom lip trembling in hurt.

“Daddy doesn’t want to hear an apology, daddy wants you to stay still so he’ll bring two more cummies out of you,”

hot tears fall as your throbbing pussy is fluttering with pain and pleasure, honey euphoria taking over you moan as your thighs shake and you release on his rubbing fingers. chest slightly heaving, you sniff as you feel your tears drying on your cheeks and watch Ari bring your creamy essence to his lips.

“princess look at the mess you made on daddy's hand. let daddy clean it up for you,”

after that rude phone call you were said to be meeting up with a friend of Ari's, well wouldn't want to say ‘friends’ more on the lines of acquaintances.

"I thought today was just us, he's your friend so why are dragging me into this." you mutter, yet when you feel his soft gaze on your eyes ease on your anger.

"be nice for daddy, okay princess?" he murmurs into your ear, snuggling into your neck. your chest lifts as you try to take in a deep breath and all the offensive rude snappy remarks on the tip of your tongue soften.

you hate the effect Ari has on you, your superior diva persona of sharp wit and pettiness strips away at his sweet and considering remarks. you’re his little spontaneous firecracker but when he cups your chin you turn into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. his feisty tiger cub that always calms down with his calming words and even soothing touch.

“fine,” you say and he smiles down at your stuff pout, it’s the best you’re going to give him and for that he pulls you closer to his side in gratitude.

walking side by side through the crowds, Ari adjusts the cap of the baseball hat down his forehead and you tuck in a piece of his hair behind his ear. making a rose heated blush appear on his cheeks which only brings out a wide smile and giggle from you.

“so, where is he? where are we meeting your ‘friend’?” your comment is sharp yet still soft enough to not avert the vex towards Ari.

“he said to meet us at the circus tent, before the clown stunts,”

“you thinking i’m going to meet him is a clown stunt-” you couldn’t help but let it slip out, you were still mad and you can’t help not to express it.

“princess what did we agree to-” Ari heavily sighs, a simple sign your running his patience but you roll your eyes.

“I know what we agreed to but I know nothing about your so called ‘friend’,”

how the hell did Ari expect you to be nice and peachy with a complete stranger when he warns you of them on a constant basis?

“we aren’t friends, we just have business to deal with,”

“yeah and what a professional scene to deal business then in a tent with lions, tigers and bears-” and suddenly a sharp slap hits your bottom and your to stunned to even register it.

oh my, oh my you’re in for a surprise and you sense it when the powder blue egg color of Aris mystic eyes shades darker. that again is a warning, for you to drop the attitude and suck up to this little silly social gathering but the pulling voices of your angry thoughts echoing fuck no are getting the best of you.

you always had your way, always and forever.

you two were surrounded by people and you even thought yourself no matter how pissed he was he wasn’t going to spank you. not pull you over his lap for children and parents to see but looking around you notice the sound of rides, people chattering, and laughing and playful screaming is to loud. everyone minding there own business to even notice his hand gliding up to wrap his fingers around your neck.

“don’t make me loose my patience. you are going to greet him politely, sit with him and-”

“god Ari do you want me to fuck him to?” you grumble and with that Ari grabs your jaw, directing your stare to his.

the grip on your wrist slightly tightened, his soft lips are to the shell of your ear and from afar it may seem like Ari is whispering something kind and dear from the way he’s smiling but you feel the snide in his harshly hushed words.

“is it that hard for you to be nice for my sake for ten decent minutes? I won’t fucking hesitate to pull you over my knee and spank you for the clowns and acrobats to see. I promise princess, if you even step a toe out of line you’re going to pray you haven’t. do you understand me?”

your glare is your only response until you mutter a small I understand daddy through your teeth barely loud for him to hear.

“speak up princess. I said, do you understand me?” Ari says, his words softer now and the grip on your jaw and wrist soften.

pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek he averts her face to meet him. “I promise you’re not going to regret meeting him. i’ve pulled a few strings to get him here but it’s all for you to enjoy,” he says and you quirk a brow at him, a smile finally pulling at your lips easing Ari.

“and who is that?” you say but Ari shakes his head with a small smirk, “I know you’ve been telling me how close you are to publishing your book and I thought why not I bring the finish line to you,” he says, you are still confused.

Ari was right, you are so close to making a publishing deal but you haven’t received any word in months. you yourself are getting anxious but the way you left the establishment shaking hands with the famous Harlan Thrombey himself. how he emphasized being invested in your work tore all those worries and fears away.

although, you were suppose to receive a call months ago, yet deadlines and interruptions of some sort keep on pushing your meeting with Harlan week after week. after that a contract was supposed to be sealed and editor negotiations completed and done for. not three months later you’ve received nothing and here you are wondering if Mr. Thrombey is having second thoughts on your work.

what is Ari planning for you with his friend?

⋄⟢⋅⟡⋅⟣⋄⟡⋄⟢⋅⟡⋅⟣⋄⟡⋄⟢⋅⟡⋅⟣⋄⟡⋄⟢⋅⟡⋅⟣⋄

sweat glistening your hairline, your soft whimpers fill the fairy light tent, only causing Ari to grip your inner thighs tighter. all this while his hot cherry tongue slides in and out your slick hole, you throw your head back. this pleasure feels like a fantasy and you’ve been reminiscing it to this point.

trying to move your glossy locks of hair away from your eyes, you hate the way he snapped at you earlier how you weren't allowed to touch him. not touch his soft toffee hair, his thickly bearded cheeks and muscled forearms- not even the comfort of his hand.

cause you’re in trouble and you aren’t allowed to touch him or yourself now or later until he says so. you’re the bad girl and the bad girl doesn’t get what she wants, no matter how much she pouts and cries.

"daddy!" and his eyes snap to yours, the pretty innocent blue now replaced by yearning.

knowing better to call his private title in public but the empty red, blue, and yellow striped carnival tent is the only event to do something like this. the soft music of the carousel in the background fuzzy, one of his hands creep up your bodice.

pulling down the tight neckline of your dress, he grips the soft mound tit in his hand and you erotically whimper as he roughly pinches the hard nipple. your pale pink and white gingham dress crowded your upper hips yet still lengthy enough that it covers Ari’s head. large warm palms caress your frosty cotton thigh highs as long slow licks smooth the folds of your fluttering pussy, aching to be satisfied by the pulse of his dick.

slow circular strokes of his thumb rub along the small slippery nub and your thighs twitch in blissful thrill over each of his shoulders. your feet in pink strap heels bounce and flinch every time Ari shoves his tongue in your hole. pouring out moans from you as you imagine his lips polished and shiny with your sweet pussy milk.

you want to see him, you want to see him eat you up you’re desperate to move the cloth over his head. see him licking and sucking the sinful treat he craves everyday. hating the sight of just his head bobbing up and down and side to side from the cover of your own dress you want to meet his eyes as he loudly moans while eating you out. slipping the small and loud growls and carnal noises release as he as his special treat.

daring to do so, you reach the hem of the dress and pull the fabric off his head, and there you see your handsome candyman. tawny brown hair tasseled and cheekbones red from the heat his eyes twinkle in mystic hunger, his lips soaked in your sensual essense. both his hands softly gripping your thighs, stroking your hips as his tongue still deep in your hole you let out a small whimper as he slips it out.

pupils wide and both the corners of his mouth leak with saliva and your cum and you feel your legs shaking a slight when he licks the corners. more so feel your pussy wetten when he glides his tongue over his top teeth glaring at you. awaiting the degrading scowl he has for you yet your surprised when you doesn’t pinch your thighs or claw at your hips even when he just smiles.

“peek-a-boo angel,” he purrs, eyes back to their cloud heaven blue and you feel your heart melting in your chest although it quickens when you brings his tongue right back to your pussy.

“so you must be {y/n l/n}, i’ve heard so much about you.” the young man sitting across from you chimes. You and Ari sit side by side on one of the many picnic tables around the humongous red and white circus tent.

“good things I hope, you must be Mr. Drysdale. how are you?” flashing your pearly white smile you rest your hand in the mans extended hand.

“what a doll, i’m doing great and how are you doing on this fine day?”

peachy fucking keen

he sounds like he’s trying his hardest to at least sound interactive and social. blue eyes move from your face to your cleavage and you want to snap at him to fucking pick.

“well today was excellent as a matter fact, a special day. all until you came along, you see Mr. Drysdale-”

“please, call me Ransom. Ari Levinson, long time no see! before we catch up why don’t you buy your lady a soda pop. i’d like to know the writers first before signing them off to my publish house,” the young man remarks, his eyes not to yours at all but to the way your dress tightly hugs your body.

Ari sees this, anger bubbling inside him he bits his tongue. meeting Ransom from his latest cases he was shocked to find out that he hadn’t been convicted for the third degree murder his buddy was investigating that had him wrapped up into it. even more shocked to find out that he had inherited his grandfathers publishing company.

this ‘meeting’ is to ensure you get your book published and live in your glory. so instead of barking at Ransom telling him to stop eye fucking you he instead offers you a kiss to the cheek and a soft stern whisper in your ear.

“behave while i’m gone,” and with that he walks away to the food vendors, knowing full well that it’s going to be you that’s going to drive Ransom crazy and not the other way around.

“I don’t understand, when I spoke to Ari-”

“well sweetheart today’s your lucky day, it’s not like everyday you meet the CEO of the company you dream your work be published in.” his voice smooth he stares down at you with hungry blue eyes.

cursing yourself for wearing such an unprofessional outfit but how were you going to find out that you were going to make a book deal on a date.

“I don’t understand, I was suppose to meet with Mr. Thrombey-”

“oh have you not received any word? Harlan, my grandfather, passed away three months ago,” he says but every word in his voice sounds fabricated, remorseless.

your surprised once you feel a hand on your bare thigh, gripping it firmly and you shift away from Ransom. his tongue slowly licks his bottom lip when his blue irises catch yours, you had to admit they were pretty like Ari’s but they held something else- something darker.

keeping a safe distance away from you and Ransom you don’t move your eyes away from him, not cowering under his gaze but holding a stronger glance to him. you knew guys like this, you grew up surrounded by them and you even dated guys like him but not in a single situation did you let them take advantage of you.

so, besides sitting at the table trying to avoid a conversation you get this “meeting” over with. Verbally deflecting the flirtatious remarks of Mr. Drysdale. dodging the charming maneuvers of him asking you for more face to face meetings and you can sense the anger radiating off him. it only makes you wonder how long it takes just for Ari to get you a damn soda pop.

“i’m not sure if you’re qualified enough for a place at my establishment. you don’t seem to meet my criteria options and your work isn’t up to our standards,” he says looking down at his phone, typing a message to someone as if you weren’t worth his time.

“I don’t seem to meet your criteria options? you mean offering to take me out when you damn well know i’m already in a relationship? what is this? I thought we were talking about my book,” that sharp remark leaves him dropping his eyes back to his phone after he receives a message.

“my question is why are you with a man like Levinson? a sweet little lady like you with a busy man like him can’t treat you well, can’t pamper you well, can’t fuck you well-”

“we’re done here,” you feel your face getting hot with rage, you were wasting your precious vacation days on this. “and what about your book Ms. {y/l/n}?”

you’re up and away front the table yet you turn your head to meet his eyes again. no way in hell were you going to publish your book for a company runned by Mr. Drysdale.

“it seems as though your establishment isn’t up to my standards Mr. Drysdale,”

"d-daddy, am I sweet?" fluttering your lashes to him, a deep groan shakes against your throbbing cunt and you feel your organism washing over.

the continuous licking from the tip of his tongue tracing your hole and his thick fingers rubbing your puffy folds are removed just for his mouth to suck the sweet essence pooling your rose bud.

his sweet and innocent angel, so naughty and dirty at these times. such a sweet fucking treat, a sickeningly saccharine poison to easily overdose. sporting soft cotton candy thighs he doesn’t mind at all being in between them, licking the sweet sugary sweetness.

y/n l/n is a wish candy girl that’ll rot Ari’s teeth to his graveyard kind of girl and he doesn’t mind it one bit.

"like candy dolly. you're sweet like fucking sugar." you moan at the comment and he won't stop licking. sugar cotton floss, sticky candy apples, rainbow swirled lollies, and buttery caramel popcorn- you’re the whole damn candy bar and his head is so deep in Candyland he can’t think straight.

all he wants is to see is your pie crumble before him as you give him the custard filling. it’s what he’s been craving and the various messages that Ransom sent him whilst in the food line asking him if he could “take you off his hands” only increases the grind of his mouth and tongue on your bountiful mound.

"daddy's on a sugar rush," you giggle completely unaware of the situation Ari has dealt with but otherwise he smiles into your pussy.

god you always had the cutest shit to say when he’s eating your pussy and he fucking loves it, eats it up.

"bad princess, you're going to rot daddy's teeth," trying his hardest to not think about Ransom at a time like this, in his position with his mouth on you.

"mmh!- that’s so sad daddy. I always liked your smile," you moan and sigh, testing his patience once more you begin to lace your fingers through his long hair.

Ari shakes his head disapproving though he seems to occupied licking your saturation from your mound to bother telling you to keep your hands to yourself. keeping your fingers in his hair, his eyes meet yours in anger and with the glimmer of menace he knows so well in your eyes he should prepare for your reckoning.

with that a pretty petty smirk curls your lips as you yank his chocolate locks downward, shoving your dripping cunt as it grinds against his mouth. Ari doesn’t back away but invites it, pulling away slightly to glide his skilled fingers over the soaked folds avoiding your desperate hole.

a whimper slips out when Ari doesn’t give you the pleasure that’s lingering and dripping from your crux but only avoides you; but then again how long can Ari avoid your need for another release. burly arms wrap around your body’s waist as you pulls you onto his lap, letting you saunter your arms around his neck you stuff your face in his chest letting out a whinish sob.

“i’m sorry for misbehaving today Ari,” a bang of regret hits Ari’s chest.

this was all his fault for demanding you meet Ransom to see some opportunities for you when he himself knew it wasn’t the best idea.

“don’t be sorry angel, I went too far and you were right. I shouldn’t have forced you to meet him. shouldn’t have thought of this in the first place,” that little whisper followed with a kiss in between your brows.

he still can’t get the sleazy voice of Ransom offering to take you “off his hands” so you’d get a position at his company. feeling his sugar high blood boiling just remembering Ransom talking about you as if you were nothing but a pawn item for bargaining, right in front of you as if you had no say whatsoever.

“you know how I hate cutting corners, I wanna be successful because I worked hard. not because my boyfriend wanted me to take it easy and let a rich boy take care of it for me,” you whisper, head snuggling in Ari’s neck which he hums.

god, you may be stubborn but you were so loyal to your aspirations and independence. strong when he met you and stronger now, he always has admired that.

“remind me next time whenever I want to introduce you to someone who runs this relationship,” and you giggle at those words.

quickly straddling his lap arms wrapped around his neck you pull him closer till your nose rubs against his and your lips briefly touch his.

“I run this shit,” you cheekily whisper subtly licking his bottom lip and Ari takes your ass in his hands, lifting you up your legs wrap around his waist. “yes, you fucking do.” Ari growls and pulls your lips to his.

he’s all yours, your caring daddy, your carnival carnivore.

truly yours.

♡♡♡ thank you for reading! ♡♡♡ pretty please like, reblog and/or comment what you think and if you enjoy this follow me to read more of my future works! ♡♡♡

[shiyoneko]

[TL Summary] Kageyama Shien 100K Celebration Stream (4/10/2021)

ranslation Summary of Kageyama Shien’s 10 Hours Stream To Celebrate His 100K. Mostly covering his chit chat parts, scene that I myself find interesting, and marshmallow reading. Do remember since it’s a translation summary, there will be spoilers of game results and such! For those who haven’t watched the stream, I recommend watching it~

[100K Celebration!] The Unexpected 10 Plans! I’ll Be Playing For 10 Hours Straight! [Kageyama Shien/Holostars]

Congrats on reaching 100K subscribers, Shien!

The long 10 hours stream started with opening chit-chat

・He first greets the chat with his usual Mission Start! He said he’s been waking up at a healthy time for this stream so despite being a bit sleepy, he said he had a good sleep.

・Mentioned how it’s been a while (about 4 days) since he did a stream on his own channel, since he had to cancel Toraware no Palma for health reason.

・Mentioned why he planned on doing 10 hours stream in the first place. Thinking about wanting to do something different for his 100K celebration stream, he thought doing 10 hours challenge would be fitting and at first thought of doing 2 hours for each game until it reached 10 hours. But after reviewing all the games he had played, he conclude that he could do 10 games for 10 hours.

・Already predicting how it’ll surely be difficult to achieve each game’s goal and named some games that’ll took up time like Monster Hunter, APEX, and Fall Guys.

・He said there might changes for the games’ goal or how to achieve it depends on his circumstances during the stream –for he is the rule breaker.  Also mentioned the time schedule on the stream description:

10:00 ~ 11:00 JST :　OP Chit and Chat 11:00 ~ 12:00 JST :　Viewer Participation: Mario Kart (Will get punishment if ranked 10th or below) 12:00 ~ 13:00 JST :　Viewer Participation: Clubhouse Games 13:00 ~ 14:00 JST :　APEX Legends (10 Kill within 1 hour) 14:00 ~ 15:00 JST :　Fall Guys (Get a crown within 1 hour) 15:00 ~ 16:00 JST :　Minecraft (Get 10 diamonds in 1 hour) 16:00 ~ 17:00 JST :　Viewer Participation: Monster Hunter (Get a Purple Magna Orba within 1 hour) 17:00 ~ 18:00 JST :　Uma Musume (Win URA Finals within 1 hour) 18:00 ~ 19:30 JST :　Marshmallow reading 19:30 ~ 20:00 JST :　Sing

・Hanayura Kanon came and congratulated him for 100K, and also cheered him for the upcoming 10 hours battle

・Mentioned he’ll very likely skip the dialogues in order to finish in time for URA Finals (Uma Musume)

・Chat asked for live stream tag, wondering if it’ll be enough just to tweet about it in his usual stream tag #エンエアー (En・ea~) or if the fans preferred a special tag for the stream. A chat recommended #テンエアー (Ten・ea~) which made him really hesitate, but he decided to use #エンエアー(En・ea~) in the end.

・Remembered that he hasn’t brought the goods he’ll use for punishment so he goes and took it. (made Nekoayama watching over the chat) Turns out it was a toy that you need to put your finger into one of the 6 holes available and spin the roulette, and at 1:6 chances you’ll randomly get electrocuted. Looks like it cost a lot of batteries so he goes to get another one. (made Nekoyama watch over the chat again and Nekoyama got red SCs). Shien came back and tested the toy, it lets out a scary sound.

・Eating Time! And he brought an unexpected item: Canned coffee! (Shien is weak to caffeine in general and a small amount of it could make him awoke for a whole day) But he said it’s okay to drink it in the morning.

・Greeted a new viewer and apologized for talking and eating during stream. He 20% regrets doing it

・Another new comer said they like his voice, Shien was eating so he couldn’t give fan services so he turned on the echo and keeps eating.

・ Mentioned how set meals usually have the drinks of either coffee or tea, but he can’t drink both or else he wouldn’t be able to sleep so he thought it’s a such a waste that he couldn’t drink it. Tho he had received many non-caffeine tea from his fans during his birthday so he’s grateful for it.

・One hour had passed so he prepared his switch for Mario Kart

・After some technical difficulties with Switch, he finally able to open the game. He also mentioned about his PC’s condition lately which has been pretty good, but in case it happened he told us beforehand that it might died suddenly and pray it’ll never happened.

・ The first round starts and Shien praised those that came in while wearing purple suits. Also noticed a player that dressed their character similar to that of Silence Suzuka (Uma Musume). And the first game ends with him in 6th place, so electrocution avoided!

・Second round will start and he noticed a player dressing up their character as Haru Urara (Uma Musume), and… his Switch crashed. He’s able to get back. During the map selection, Haru Urara picked a theme park map and the game chose it in the end and Shien said it’s like a Go Out event with Urara. And he mentioned he had recently took her to URA Finals. …This his controller didn’t responded, and connection error happened. Looks like this is the first time he received such error. The match ended with him being the last. But since it’s an error out of his command, he didn’t count this one. A comment told him that Urara won first place in that race.

・Third round started with no particular error and he ranked 7th.

・Fourth round started with no particular error. He noticed a player dressed their character as Special Week (Uma Musume). Mid-game, he thought being 10th or lower for the punishment is too hard for him to get so he changed it to “If he’s unable to place 1st in 1 hour, he’ll do the punishment.” The round ended with him being 2nd and Switch died right after. He then determines to take it for repair and told us he won’t stream Switch games next week.

・He got into the room again and fifth round started. He noticed a player name theirself “50K Red SC” and said it’s interesting to race with a red SC. He won 1st place.

・Sixth round started and he noticed a player with character similar to Toukai Teio (Uma Musume). Mid-game, he said since he had took first place, he returned rule to it’s previous state; Get punishment if he can’t place 9th place or higher. He placed 8th.

・Seventh round started and he noticed a player with character similar to Biwa Hayahide (Uma Musume) and a player named “Holostars 4th Gens”. He placed 9th .

・Eight round started and he noticed a player with character similar to Gold Ship (Uma Musume). He placed 11th this time ＾＾

・Ninth round started and he noticed two players with each character similar to Twin Turbo and Mejiro Mcquuen (Both from Uma Musume) and Mejiro Mcqueen’s player name is “For The Honor of Mejiro Family”. He placed 8th.

・Mario Kart section is over and it’s punishment time! Enjoy his reaction

・The next game is Clubhouse Games and he decided to get punishment every time he loses. Tho there aren’t much to translate here, there are many interesting scenes so I highly encourage you to watch the archive!

・The next game is APEX and 1 hour 10 kill challenge.

・In the middle of the game, his party ended up with only 2 people. But even with such situation, his teammate didn’t quit the game and keep on fighting with him, which Shien said is very admirable since if he got two-people team, the other one will usually just leave the match and leave him alone.

・Unable to find any enemy, at one point Shien found a counter and start playing Receptionist, which his teammate catch up and both starts squatting together ww

・He scored a total of 4 kills and decided to take 6 times electrocution. He got electrocuted 2 times.

・The next game should be Fall Guys, but due to technical difficulties, he can’t open the game. And his PC died… Since he’s also getting hungry, he decided to change it to lunch time. While he go grab his food of bread and hashed beef rice, Nekoyama took over watching the chat and again received lots of SCs giving him food.

・While eating, he mentioned the Hololive collab with Sanrio characters. Some times back, he had talked about how he want Holostars to collab with Sanrio characters and started to thought of characters for each members. He said at that time, he wasn’t trying to hint of Hololive’s Sanrio collab or anything and also as oblivious of it as other fans, and it was a surprising coincidence.

・Chat mentioned that tomorrow (4/11) there will be Oukashou horse race and Shien said there are so many horse racing going on this month. Thanks to that too, the mission in Uma Musume has been added more.

・Continuing the talk about Uma Musume, he asked the chat who should he raise for the Uma Musume part. He said he hasn’t brought Teio to URA Finals yet. And he doesn’t have Rice Shower yet. Chat suggested Silence Suzuka, Gold Ship, and Oguri Cap. Shien commented that he just recently got Oguri Cap but is able to tell that she’s really strong.

・He goes to clean up his dishes. Nekoyama once again received many SCs.

・When he came back, he mentioned how there’s someone who posted a photo of their own creation of Mafiayaki –The dish he made with Oga in Himashokudou collab the other day. The poster said their kids also like it and hearing that makes Shien happy.

・His drowsiness came and he’s worried about the next part, which is Minecraft. A chat suggested him to scream some lines during the playthrough and Shien tried it with a loud “NOOO MY DIAMOND…!!”

・Hearing Diamond lately has instead reminded him of the new support card Kitachan Black and Satono Diamond. A chat mentioned how Satono Diamond’s name could be abbreviated to SatoImo and it reminds Shien of how the title of light novels could also be abbreviated the same way.

・Chat told him some light novel title like Oregairu (Yahari Ore no Seishun LoveCome wa Machigatteiru) and Yorimoi (Sora Yori mo Tooi Basho). He told a story of how in Niconico there are times where a series title was abbreviated by fans and when the management lets out the official abbreviation of the series, it tends to cause confusion especially if the fans did it first.

・A chat mentioned the kanji for Sora in Sora Yori mo Tooi Basho (宇宙よりも遠い場所) uses the kanji for Uchuu (宇宙) but it should be read as Sora, and the same goes for Kara no Kyoukai (空の境界) where even tho the spelling uses Kara, the kanji they used is Sora(空) and it’s complicated and Shien agreed.

・Shien saw Astel that tweeted about his 10 hour stream by saying “10 hours?!! That’s crazy!!” and mentioned how for Astel, 10 hours stream is the norm for him, and he commented that Astel is indeed an alien with incredible physical endurance.

・A chat asked who else in Holostars that does long streams and mentioned Astel for a usual long time of streams. Mentioned Rikka for endurance stream, and mentioned Roberu for 24 hours talking stream. And despite not doing much of it, Temma and Miyabi also occasionally did long streams. Chat mentioned how Temma and Miyabi did Planet Zoo for a long time, and Shien mentioned how Temma named one of the animals with his name.

・Chat mentioned they want to see Babudon endurance stream. Shien also wants it but lately Roberu has been busy. Chat mentioned they also want to see MaFia endurance stream and Shien wondered if Guilty Gear will releases more stuff in the future.

・A chat asked about the TRPG collab, and Shien mentioned it’ll be on May 15th and 16th.

・Mentioned how Yurustars had been digging for a lot of diamonds in Minecraft a while back to make the star for giant Christmas tree, and wondered if there’s still diamond left for him to dig. He’s thinking of whether making a new world to dig.

・It’s time for Minecraft and while opening the game, he told us something happened to the aforementioned giant Christmas tree. He showed us that something blew up at the tree’s terrace, destroying it and the leaves around it.

・He changed the BGM so he wouldn’t feel sleepy. He put a really funky BGM while saying “Alright, let us dig diamond with this calm BGM! This BGM will surely makes us sleepy! Now let’s grab our equipment! Let’s bring this pickaxe named “Pacifier” prepared by Astel for us! …This BGM is loud! Who turned this BGM on!” and he turned it off and changed it to one of his usual stream BGM.

・He instantly got 6 diamonds and will only need to search for the remaining 4.

・After some digging with no diamonds in sight, he said most of the game he was playing for that day requires a good amount of luck to complete. He mentioned how he always got weird luck.

・Miyabi came to congratulate him reaching 100K and said he’ll treat Shien parfait next time. Shien accepts the offer and said he would like parfaits from Ginza Parlour.

・Upon seeing two creeper separated by lava, he created a drama scenario of the two being separated twins and how the other one wanted to go to his place but the other one stopped them from going, dramatically.

・He found the remaining 4 diamonds, got swarmed by monsters on the way home, and with that Minecraft 10 diamonds challenge is finished!

・The next one is Viewer Participation Monster Hunter. The target is to get one Purple Magna Orb from a monster named Magnamalo. His Switch died a lot here..

・In the end, he got the drop item at the very last battle! He said that it was his first time obtaining it and he never once got it when he was playing solo. There are those that didn’t get to play with him because of his switch error and he apologized, and when he decided to do viewer participation again he’ll be happy if they can participate again and play with him.

・After a short toilet break, he set the Uma Musume game to stream and asking chat once again to choose who to raise. He showed all the Uma Musume he got.

・ A chat asked about his team formation and he showed it.

・Since Oukashou will be held the day after (4/11), he would like to raise a horse that has a history of running on the previous Oukashou horse race, and was wondering between choosing Daiwa Scarlet or Gold Ship. In the end, he choose Daiwa Scarlet.

・Borrowed Roberu’s Kitachan Black support card.

・And with that, the challenge to URA Finals had begun. He mentioned he’s been using a Support Card Dialog Checker, an app to see what effect will certain selection dialogue in each support card brought.

・During debut race, Shien mentioned about how every time a player train a horse, at first they will always only have 1 fans, and that’s the trainer. Shien liked the idea of having the trainer as the horses very first fans.

・In the end, despite late on leaving the gate, Daiwa Scarlet won marvelously in URA Finals.

・Time for Umapyoi! Umapyoi! ＾o＾)9 I strongly recommend watching his archive to see him hyping for Umapyoi Densetsu. Just do it, it’s gold.

・He realized it’s been 8 hours already. Chat asked about his throat condition. Shien answered his throat is getting tired, but he can still going.

・The next is Marshmallow Reading~

・The first mallow wrote their message of congratulations and happiness of able to see Shien’s growth from his very early day up till 100K and conveyed their wishes of Shien’s future activity. The mallow question is: Since Jojo will get a part 6: Stone Ocean anime soon,  they wondered what Stand does Shien like?

Shien answered with Sticky Fingers. Aside from it’s cool appearance, Sticky Fingers Stand user is Bruno Bucciarati who is voiced by Takahiro Sakurai.

・The next mallow asked whether Shien doesn’t mind to be called Shien-kun. Everyone called Shien as Boss, but the sender wanted to call him Shien-kun but is worried and ended up calling him Shiepi.

Shien answered it’s okay to call him either Boss, Shien-kun, or Shiepi. It’s fine to either use シエンくん or シエン君 either.

・The next mallow’s sender has a hobby of taking care of their nails. Upon doing so, the mallow sender wondered about what does Shien’s nail looks like. The sender asked if it’s okay for fans to imagine what does his nail looks like and put in fanarts and such.

Shien answered with how when his Mamu (his illustrator, Namakawa) draw his New Year costume, they draw it with his gloves off and it showed his bare hand with the nail only a bit longer. He claimed when Mamu was designing the costume, he cut the nail off ww

He said it’s okay for fans to draw his nails much more longer than that.

・The next mallow asked what kind of clothes he wear when he sleeps.

Shien answered with the Jerapique robe that Oga gave to him for his birthday, and not a pajama.

・The next mallow asked Shien to explain his feeling upon reaching 100K subs in just three letters (words, for English convenience)

Shien:感無量（Brimming・With・Emotion）

・The next mallow asked: Does he likes chocomint?

Shien answered that he’s neutral about it. He doesn’t hate it but he doesn’t eat it as much as those who likes it. He adds that whenever he goes to Baskin Robbins he’ll always order the Caramel Ribbon flavor.

・The next mallow asked whether he’s the type of streamer who remembers his fans or not.

Shien answered that there’s probably no fans he doesn’t remember, since he looks at live chat a lot. On the other hand, he would like if fans who realized they are recognized by him and start sending him annoying replies to stop that since its troubling him. He also remembers those that told their YT name when doing Oshafest, and also those that draw him fanarts, and those that always commented on his stream or throwed him SCs and the likes, he remembered them and tries to remembers them.

・The next mallow asked what does SSB stands for.

Shien answered with Shien Secret Base, and directs them to his Membership Opening stream archive.

・The next mallow asked him what is the memory that he can’t forget until now.

Shien answered with how when he was little, around middle school, he was going out to ski in one of the ski slope. For that, he needs to ride a lift and there he  had a chit-chat about Pokemon with a stranger that sit beside him. He still befriends that person and still in contact with them even until now. Other unforgettable memories are those that are accidental, like the time where he accidentally broke his chin (?!). There are other similar stories but he stopped with just that for now. Another unforgettable memories for him is the time where he and some of his friend was on a train, standing. Suddenly his friends started laughing at him for no particular reason. After they got off, Shien asked them why did they laugh back then and they told him that there was a man who starred and sniffed him from behind his back. Shien was surprised and yelled at them for not telling it to him sooner. In the end, the man didn’t do anything tho, otherwise he noticed by then too.

・The next mallow’s sender was having so much fun when Shien last time did a viewer participation Splatoon stream and asked him to do the same with Mario Kart

Shien answered that he just did it during this stream and will do it again in the future.

・The next mallow’s sender is a fans of voice actors and upon hearing Shien’s voice tweet that got RT-ed by his followers, they instantly thought it was a really great and praised Shien’s voice impression of Takahiro Sakurai by saying it really sounds like him and they ended up RT-ing the voice tweet as well. That’s all the sender has reported! They will continue to support Shien from now on too.

Shien: Thank you… Thank you… Im really hyappi. I wonder what voice impression they would like.

And he mentioned that he recently uploaded his voice impression of Yugi singing Umapyoi. While also feeling happy that he was being found, he also slightly embarrassed.

・The next mallow mentioned how in yesterday’s stream (Miyabi’s QnA marshmallow), Miyabi mentioned that Shien is fashionable and knows what clothes best fits him, so the sender is curious on what kind of plain clothes he usually wear, and whether he wear any accessories?

Shien answered that he likes Uniqlo brand and tends to wear simple clothes. For accessories, he sometimes wear necklace and wristwatch and tends to wear them on summer. Mentioned how Miyabi always glaring at his shoes when he goes out with him the other day and said that the shoe Miyabi  was looking at was the shoe gifted to him by subordinates on his birthday. It was white and purple and he likes it very much. He added that he usually wear PC glasses when streaming and gaming.

・His throat got tired so he read the next mallow in a low tone voice. The mallow asked, what will he do if he has infinite time and money.

Shien answered that he wants to do world travel and goes to lots of places  he doesn’t know, especially with him coming from a Beast world. If he can, he would like to go on a space trip too. After he finished that, he would like to continue his life doing nothing. He added that he would like to borrow a large dome and have Holostars-only event there.

・Realized that it’s easier to just talk normally so he read the next mallow with his usual voice. This mallow would like to see his no-archive Vocaloid only singing stream.

Shien said he always wanted to do one, and not only just Vocaloid songs, but also Disney songs too.

・The next mallow wrote their heartfelt congratulation for his accomplishment of reaching 100K. Shien had made their life happy and is grateful for him and asked whether he also felt happiness on doing his activity. They will always follow him from now on too. Btw they asked for the color of Shien’s pan peace (草)

Shien asked what the sender will do for him to make him say the color. For it,  they need a payment. If they couldn’t do that, he won’t answer it.

・The next mallow wondered about Nekoyama and the minions’ back, and specifically wondered whether Koyama has a tail or nor.

Shien answered that Koyama doesn’t have a tail and only a black fur on their back. Nakayama has one and Nekoyama has a tail too. He showed the three of them on screen and start describing Koyama as the one that wears a pacifier, Nakayama is the one who had the tail, and Nekoyama as the one who had a purple ribbon. Nekoyama’s tail is fairly small.

・The next mallow asked about books he likes.

He assumed it as novels and/or comics. He mentioned a book titled “Melancholy of Mickey Mouse”, a fiction novel that describes the “backstage” of a huge theme park. Also mentioned Fate/Prototype: Fragments of Sky Silver.

・The next mallow’s sender conveyed how they liked the tweet where Shien points out his favorite part of his new year costume, like the waist part that showed his body line, and his glasses, and his bangs, and his forehead, and his ponytail, and others.

Shien responded by showing all the points above again. He showed his feet on a big scale and started stomping it while saying “That day, humanity received a grim reminder…” and congratulate Attack on Titan’s final chapter. Zoomed his face and starts eating the chat (mogumogu).

・The next mallow… is a congratulation message with e-mail format… www

・The next mallow conveyed how the sender at first looks at Shien as a cool person, but over time it changed more into cute and wondered if Shien doesn’t like it if people calls him cute. And asked for words that he doesn’t want fans to say, if there’s any.

Shien answered that he’s doesn’t mind being called cute, since he actively acts cute consciously himself. He mentioned people has rights to say what they wanted. Tho as a man, he also wants to look cool too. As for the things he doesn’t want fans to say, for now there aren’t any. Usually, if he doesn’t like something being sad, he always says it at that moment too. As to why he could honestly say what he doesn’t like on stream, it’s because his subordinates always listen to him. He explained it’s not “he likes the subordinates for obeying his words” but rather “he likes subordinates for properly hearing him out”

・The next mallow asked about the parts of him that he likes himself, or parts he wants to improve in the future.

Shien quickly answered with Face・Voice. He also likes the part where he freely expressed what he likes. As for parts he wants to improve, it’s his singing. He mentioned Izuru suggested him to hear the recitations about song, and he’s using that as reference. The reference is filled with knowledge about intervals and how to properly let out voices and such. He also mentioned how he were amazed by Izuru’s Aishite Aishite cover.

・The next mallow asked about his favorite manga.

Shien answered with Yotsubato!, Gash Bell, YAIBA (written by Conan’s author, Aoyama Gosho), Black Jack, Hinotori, Otome Youkai Zakuro, Houseki no Kuni, Teichi no Kuni, Bleach, Kono Oto Tomare!, and others. He also likes reading doujin and mentioned the high-quality doujinshi made Holostars Mama and Papa (Illustrators) as well as his own Mamu’s creation. Despite knowing a wide variety of mangas, he mentioned that he hasn’t picked up HunterxHunter, Ueki no Housoku, and Rekka no Honoo yet. He stopped here since the talk will be infinite at this rate ww

・The next mallow sender is someone who just got into Holostars and asked who is currently the hottest (in terms of popularity) in Holostars so they can made them their oshi.

Shien answered with “KAGEYAMA SHIEN.” He mentioned how all Holostars members are also on their peak with Izuru reaching 100K, Astel’s Envy Baby reaching 100 thousand replays, and other accomplishments. He also said that Holostars in a whole is raising up in popularity as of now, so it’s a good idea to support them all now!

・The next mallow asked Shien to share a bit of his story from childhood.

Shien answered with how there’s a time where he got taken by his friend into a sunflower field. Shien then saluted the field before they enter, and when his friend asked why he do that, Shien answered “I’m on a patrol.” (Cute) Chat mentioned the Pokemon underwear and he starts re-telling his experience of wearing pokemon shorts while biking around town, unaware that it’s actually an underwear. He re-tells another story when he watched a Pingu episode where Pingu chew spinach and spit it into a toilet with a straw and thought “If Pingu can do that then so can I!” So he chewed the spinach in front of him and spit it out, and then his Mama got so mad at him and sent him outside the house as punishment. From then on, even if he doesn’t like spinach, he’s forced to eat all of it and now has able to overcome it somehow. Shien described his mom as quite a Sparta, not letting him waste a single food on the plate and ate it all. He still watched Pingu from then on.

・The next mallow asked whether he could revive the fallen Tsueso APEX archive he did on April Fools.

Shien answered that he initially would like to leave the archive stay an entire day of April Fools, just like how games did with April Fools event. But there are things that he couldn’t left it on the screen  as it is, so this time, he apologized that he can’t revive the archive anymore. Next year if he does another April Fool stream, he’ll let it live for a day and then erase it when clock hits April 2nd . Tho he don’t know if he’ll bring Tsueso again or not. He told subordinates to keep Tsueso close to their heart, and suddenly Tsueso hijacked the stream and said “Everyone, don’t forget me~ Lets meet again~!!”

・The next mallow asked him if he preferred pants or skirt (for girls to wear)

Shien answered that he would like skirt more, but he also likes hot pants. When asked long or mini skirt, he answered with the long one and would also prefer long skirt maid outfit than a mini skirt one. Chat asked about tight skirt and said he likes it too. But for Shieko, he insisted that she should wear mini skirt since she’s a gal.

・The next mallow’s sender is having difficulties on uploading their fanarts on Twitter, and wondered if he could still see it if they uploaded the art on pixiv

Shien answered that if they post a tweet with the pixiv link on it. Tho with that, the sender wouldn’t know if Shien had properly saw it or not, but if they’re fine with that Shien let them post their art however they want. He wondered if the sender doesn’t like getting RT-ed instead. Connecting the talk, he told about how he personally won’t RT fanarts that depicts him as the opposite gender. For such posts, even if it were tagged in his illustration tag and he saw them and liked them, he won’t RT them. It’s a matter of culture differences, and it’s only for him and there might be different opinions depends on the streamer.

・The next mallow came from an overseas fans and he tried looking up words to replied it, and then remembered that he didn’t asked it before (in his previous English learning stream). He praised overseas fans that went out of their way to translate their mallows themselves using DeepL and such.

・He mentioned that there are still many more mallows he wants to read so he extend the mallow reading time.

・The next mallow asking whether he’ll do a cooking stream.

Shien answered that he’s trying to find a way to do it. He needs a super long cable that connects his kitchen with his streaming room or else we won’t be able to hear him.

・The next mallow: HUG&RELEASE with LOVE&KISS for Shiepippi

Shien: *reads it with echo* …Okay, can I go on to the next one now?

・The next mallow asked about the name of the little cats he has on his shoulder.

Shien named Nekoyama, Koyama, and Nakayama by the order we see on the screen.

・The next mallow’s sender recommended him to sing Yuuki 100% during Shien’s singing stream back in February, and it happened to be a day just before the national pharmacist exam that the sender will be having, and Shien picked up their comment and sang it. It gave them courage for the exam and now reported that they had successfully passed the exam, and thanked Shien for giving them the strength they needed.

Shien congratulate them and said it was a really great feat. He’s so happy that he could boast this to others that one of his fans passed the national exam

・The next mallow is from a new fans, asking if he can play any musical instrument, and asked is there any special rule that fans need to keep when he streams.

Shien answered by ringing his New Type. For the serious answer, he couldn’t play any particular musical instrument and said he would like to learn how to play drums. Also mentioned that during his birthday, he got 3 kalimbas and don’t know what he should do with it. He thought it’ll also be cool to be able to play guitar and piano, he looked up to Sing and chat streams. He also mentioned Anpanman’s tambourine and castanet, but his castanet was missing. Chat mentioned triangle but he couldn’t play it on streams or else his mic will get weird again (because of the high frequency sound)

・The next mallow asked: Which do you like more, Roberu or your subordinates.

Shien: …………..BOTH.

He thought of it as a cruel mallow because no way he can pick just one of the two. Tho, he mentioned that the lines of his love to Roberu and to his subordinates are two different lines. He leaned more towards subordinates for they know him much more.

・tskr

・The next mallow asked him about his favorite color.

Before Shien answered the mallow, a red SC came to bless him for his sneeze and Shien thought red SC sneeze is just an urban legend but he’s getting it right now. Continuing one, he answered with purple, black, white, blue, and green. He mentioned that he usually wear blue shirts for his usual wear.

・The next mallow’s sender had their previous mallow about not being able to draw manga good got answered by Shien, and thanks to his advices they can now draw something great. They conveyed their congratulations message and their hope for his future activities.

Shien congratulated them and said that everyone could get a slump sometimes, even him, and it’s okay to feel like that. Shien said he’s happy to receive report mallow like this that said they had cheered up or achieved something, and would like to see more of it.

・The next mallow asked what dog breed he likes.

Shien answered that he likes dogs with short feets like Corgi. And he really likes Shiba Inu. He mentioned that he saw a video that tells how hard it is to keep a clever dog. The cleverer the dogs are, the more they are more sensitive to changes. He also likes big dogs like Golden Retriever and Siberian Husky. When chat mentioned Chihuahua, he said he’s particularly neutral with small dogs, but he likes Pomeranian.

・The next mallow’s sender couldn’t get themselves to listen to Shien’s voice pack. Despite already buying them, they already imagined what kind of cool voice waiting for them there and will get embarrassed first. They asked how they could get some courage to listen to it.

Shien was surprised they haven’t heard it yet and asked them to listen to it. He worked so hard to write the scenario himself. Chat also agreed with the mallow, saying they all need to prepare their heart before they listen to it. Shien encouraged them that their heart won’t get throbbed all suddenly like what they had imagined, and it’s not he will kill them instantly. In the end, he said it’s okay to not force themselves to hear it but if they didn’t, it’ll be a waste.

・The next mallow asked from where did he starts liking Takahiro Sakurai.

Shien answered the he first know of Takahiro Sakurai from his role of Kururugi Suzaku in Code Geass, and then starts listening to his drama CD of “Teiden Shoujo to Hanemushi no Orchestra” and became a fans from there on. If he need to list his top three of Takahiro Sakurai’s role, it’ll be: Makishima Shougo (Psycho-Pass), Ray Lundgren (Gun x Sword), and Shimogamo Yasaburou (Uchouten Kazoku), but he added that he likes more roles other than what he mentioned and couldn’t just pick a few of it. He mentioned that he also likes Cloud and Merlin, but to him personally, judging from Sakurai’s voice and acting, he likes the top three more.

Connecting the talk about voice actors, he mentioned Yoshimaya Hosoya had a role in one of the new legend card in Shadowverse

・The next mallow came from an overseas fans and asked when will he have another English-only stream.

Shien answered that he’ll consider it. He previously played Fall Guys in EN only, but for next time he wants to try something different.

・The next mallow mentioned how this year, the price of cabbage has been pretty cheap so they wanted to buy it but doesn’t know what will they make with it, So they asked Shien who is good at cooking for dish ideas.

Shien answered with pot-au-feu, since he tends to put lots of cabbage in it. Cabbage roll is good too, but it only use a bit of cabbage. Another dish he recommended is shredded cabbage and salted kombu with sesame oil and salt, and make it as a side dish. Chat suggested coleslaw but Shien said he doesn’t like it that much. Chat also mentioned cabbage with eggs

・The next mallow said they became Shien’s fans because of his talk about Kamen Rider and would like to hear more about the form he likes, or his favorite character or lines)

Shien answered that it’s depends on the series. If it’s Kamen Rider W, he likes FangJoker. If it’s Kamen Rider OOO, it’s Shauta and Tajador. If it’s Kamen Rider Drive, its Mach and Chaser. If it’s Axe-Aid, it’s Parad. If it’s Kamen Rider Build, he likes the Hazard Forms and said all of it are cool. Added more that he likes Heart Roidmude too in Drive. Mentioned that the series he likes OOO the most for the character bonding and development.

・The clock indicated that he had passed the 10 hours mark!

・Hanayura Kanon came again to congratulate him for reaching 10 years (eh? ww) stream. Shien played along and said that the 10 years felt so fleeting and he will work his best to continue his activity for 100 more years.

・He received many SCs and decided to sing for the last part. He’ll try his best to sing songs that doesn’t restrain his throat too much.

・Setlist:

-Started with his usual Devilman no Uta (Keizo Toda) -Mamoritai ~White Wishes~ (BoA) -READYMADE (Ado) -Gira Gira (Ado) -Sayonara Elegy (Masaki Suda)

・Connecting from the lyrics of Sayonara Elegy, he said it depicted his feelings of being happy with just us being beside him.

・He is really happy to have became one of Holostars and able to meet with so many subordinates. He then thanked us for spending 10 hours today with him, and also keep following him for almost a year.

・He also thanked the senpai of Holostars and Hololive that had helped him able to stand where he is right now.

・Mentioned TriNero, and recollecting the past 100K countdown stream where he said he would like to bring along the feelings of the members that couldn’t continue their journey together as Holostars, but he also told us that he doesn’t see it as a responsibility that binds him. Despite all the things happened, he wanted to be here because it’s fun. It’s thanks to all the people behind the screen, the members, and the subordinates that keep on supporting him that he’s able to be here, and he would like to always remember that.

・He wants to continue being in Holostars so that they could be seen in many more places, so many people can find and reach out to them more. He knows it’ll be very difficult to do.

・Just like how when he got an event offer from Argonavis and became a guest star there, he received words of thanks for participating. He participated because he like the series, but from there, he received new connections and many people found him and start becoming fans, and it made him very happy.

・He would like to keep showing his figure of having fun to his subordinates, just like how he showed his other side when playing Uma Musume earlier. He would like to show us more of his various sides. Tho, he’s aware that maybe amongst all the people there, some might find it weird and decided to take some distance away, and it’s okay for them to do so, it’s their choice. But he will work his best to entertain the subordinates who decided to stay. He also would like to show his cool sides. He’ll do activities in a way that won’t leave him with regrets, and will keep existing here as one of Holostars.

・He thanked us again for always following him, even to this 10 hours stream. Who knows that 10 hours will be his normal streaming time in the future, he’ll trust us to keep following him by then.

・He also thanked subordinates from overseas, from Japan, both girls and boys, those who watch his streams live and those who watch his streams from archive, he loves them all. His love is strong and heavy and told us to prepare for it. He said he won’t let go of his subordinates ever.

・He thanked us all again and said it was a really fun 10 hours stream, both for watching and/or sending SCs. He decided to read the remaining SCs that he hasn’t read in another chat stream.

・Please take care of Kageyama Shien and also Holostars from now on too.

・Reminded us to buy the White Day voice pack, the sale will last until 4/12.

・Also mentioned the Holostars “In Silence” collab in 4/11.

・Lastly, he thanked everyone again- From Shinove to Yagoo to other Holostars members, and also to his beloved subordinates.

 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆★ ★ ★

Thank you for reading and sticking with him for 10 hours! Good luck! 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

kiss me in the d-a-r-k .5.

wednesday

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Warnings: non/dub con sex (more oral)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: The girls go to the beach but our reader cannot escape Steve for long.

Note: Second last part y’all. Steve gets a bit darker in this as both he and the reader grow more desperate. I hope you all enjoy this and I know you can’t wait for quote-on-quote grande finale. ;)

That being said, I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think!

...

You awoke in as much confusion as you'd drifted off in. Images of Steve floated in your dreams and the same tingle burned at your core. You tossed and turned until the sun forced you up. You heard the sound of a car engine and rubbed your eyes as you sat up. You stood and peered through the window. 

Kylie's Mercedes rolled to the end of the drive and you frowned. Where was she off too? Or maybe, hopefully, Steve had borrowed her car. You shrugged and shook the sleep from your head. You needed to shower. You should have the night before but you were overcome in your bliss. You felt dirty now. The sweat and cum stiff along the edges of your panties.

You dragged your feet into the bathroom and cranked on the shower. You undressed with a series of groans and stepped under the stream. The steam rose around you and eased your muscles, stiff from a night of overthinking and all-too-vivid dreams. You closed your eyes and let the water wash over you. It was almost cleansing.

You jumped when the shower door slid open and you pushed yourself against the tile with a yelp. You tried to shield yourself with your hands but it did little to hide your figure. Steve's eyes roved every inch and he smirked. 

"I was knocking," He said. He didn't look at your face. "Kylie just went to grab some milk."

"What are…" Your voice died as he licked his lips. "Get out!"

"I won't touch," His voice was dusky, "Can I...watch?"

Your lips trembled and you gave a long exhale. "You should go. She'll come back."

"We have twenty minutes, at least," He raised a brow and backed up. He sat on the toilet and his eyes clung to your figure. "Better get cleaned up fast."

"Steve," You hissed and reached for the faucet. 

He tilted his head tutted. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Wait, I have something for you to watch first." He unlocked his phone and scrolled. "Can't have a house this big without security." 

He held up his screen and you squinted. It was you, stripping down to get in the hot tub. The footage played through and soon his lips were on yours. Without dialogue, it looked different. Almost as if you had tempted him.

"It would be a shame for Kylie to cut your visit short but she can be rather melodramatic," He lowered his phone away and shrugged. "Now, go on."

You shivered and turned back to the shower head. You tried to ignore his presence as you reached for your soap and loufa. He wasn't there. Just hurry up and wash. But you could feel his stare. Hear his subtle breaths. 

You scrubbed your hairand peeked over at him as you turned to rinse the soap. He held up his phone and you covered yourself once more. "What the fuck?"

"Ah come on, just a little something to remember you by," He smirked. "I'll miss you when you go. What is it, two days left?"

You shook your head in disgust and turned to quickly rid your hair of the lather. You grabbed the towel and wrapped it around your body. You stepped out and pushed aside his phone. "There. Now get out."

He stood and made sure to brush his front against you. Again his arousal was obvious. "Kylie should be back with that milk soon," He said, "Should I make some coffee?" 

You didn’t answer. You just watched him leave, sure you were still dreaming. You looked around as if the world would dissolve around you but it was all too real.

-

You dressed carefully. You took your time. You dreaded another run in with Steve. It had already gone way too far. That night in the gym...you should’ve never followed him to the hot tub. That had been your first mistake. That had been his invitation and now there was no rescinding it. Yet, you were a guest in his home but he was the one intruding on you.

You listened closely as you descended the stairs. You didn’t hear anything, not until you were halfway to the kitchen door. You paused and thought of running up the stairs. You could hide until Kylie returned. She was your only shield from him.

Yet you couldn’t be sure that your avoidance would not instigate him. One wrong move and he would bring up the video on his phone. Or, one of them. You cringed as you recalled his cell phone held up, its lens recording your every move.

I'll show you even more. His promise bounced around your head. Maybe it was best to leave early, but what would you tell Kylie? Maybe she wouldn’t care so much...but he would. And he’d still have those videos. You couldn’t face your sophomore year without your bestie.

Two more days. That was all. Bide your time and you'd be on your way home. 

You jumped as Steve appeared in the kitchen door. It was too late to turn back now. He smiled and tucked his phone away. You couldn't help but stare at the red case as it disappeared in his pocket. What had he been doing? Or rather, looking at?

"You take cream in your coffee?" He turned his body as he leaned against the door frame and waved you inside. "Unless you wanna wait til Kylie returns."

"I'll just take it black," You said and hesitantly stepped into the kitchen. 

He followed closely and you could feel his gaze on your ass. His fingers confirmed it as they squeezed. A gentle pinch as your paths diverged around the island. You flinched and retreated.

"Do you really think Kylie would believe you?" You asked as you watched him pull out a dainty pink mug. 

"Do you think she'd believe you?" He returned as he poured the coffee. He turned and neared the other side of the counter. "I mean...you're not that innocent."

You stared at him as he slid the mug across to you. You took it and frowned. "Why--"

"Because I want you," He didn't wait for the questions. He gripped the edge of the island and wiggled his hips. You could imagine his erection hidden by the marble top. "I've never had a virgin. As old as I am."

"So it's all just a middle-aged crisis? A check off your bucket list?" You asked.

"More than that," He smirked. "It's that little flowered swimsuit. The bikini was cute but…" He inhaled. "How another man hasn't already had a go is beyond me."

You sipped your coffee. You didn't know what to say. You were embarrassed. Nervous. Afraid.

"You didn't act like you hated," He slowly rounded the island. "In fact, I'd say you needed it. You need me." You set down the cup and took a step back for each of his. "You need someone to teach you. To show you how fucking sexy you are."

You gulped and nearly tripped over your own feet. He lunged forward and kept you from falling. He pulled you close and pressed himself to you. He rocked his hips so you felt his desire.

"I want to fuck you on this counter," He ran his hand over the island as his other gripped your arm. "But...there's still a few things I need to teach you first."

"Steve, I--" The front door opened and suddenly you were free. Steve was quick to move away. You held onto the counter as you tried to clear your head.

The door closed and Kylie's footsteps preceded her. Steve opened the fridge and searched inside. "Finally," He said coolly, "Was starting to think you got lost."

"They were out of soy milk," She replied and she planted the carton on the counter, "Had to go to the other store."

"Well, thank you," He turned to set a handful of fruit on the counter. "Coffee's ready."

"Awesome," She skirted around you and opened the cupboard. "All the better because we've got a lot to do." 

You turned to her with a curious hmm.

"We're going to the beach!" She sang as she poured her coffee. "Jenny and Dani will be here soon." She paused and turned to Steve as he loaded the blender, "Daddy…"

He sighed. He looked at her knowingly. "What do you want?"

"Can we borrow the rover?" She folded her hands together in a plea. 

"Well…" He looked over her shoulder at you, "It might be worth it for a day to myself." He placed the lid on the blender. "Fine. But leave the Mercedes keys...just in case."

"Thank you!" She grabbed her coffee and added a drop of milk. 

"Any scratches and your paying for the buff," He warned and hit the button. The kitchen filled with the same violent buzz that had taken over your mind.

-

It was a relief to be out of the house but the inevitability of your return loomed in the back of your mind. The sun was dulled by the shadow of dread across your vision. The sand was hot beneath your beach towel and the sound of waves lulled your mind. Even so, you couldn't help but think of Steve. The look in his eyes when he had said ‘I want you.’

It wasn't a general statement. He wanted you. Not just a virgin, the innocent friend of his daughter. The trope found in the pages of your sister's favourite novellas. He was set on you and he would find a way to have you.

"...right?" Kylie elbowed you and shook you from the trance beneath your round sunglasses. You looked to her and set down the book you weren't really reading. "Hey, I was talking to you."

"Sorry, I was...reading," You lied and sat up. "What's up?"

"I was just saying that next year I gotta get you laid," She trilled, "Loosen you up a bit."

You swallowed and crossed your arms over your knees. "I can handle myself." You assured her.

"Oh yeah? What's it gonna be? Another twenty years?"

"Shut up," Jenny tossed sand at Kylie, "Give her a break. We didn't all pop our cherries at fourteen just to spite our dads."

"You would if you had my dad," Kylie scowled, "It wasn't just him. It was...everything."

"Like mother, like daughter," Danielle muttered.

"Shut the fuck up, Dani," She grabbed her own handful of sand and threw it at her mouthy friend.

"Hey, hey," You touched Kylie's arm. You rarely saw her so angry. It had happened so fast you were almost frightened. "I'll give you one night, okay? I'll go to one of your parties. That's all."

"Face it," She fell back on her towel, "You wanna get some. That little nun act must get real boring."

"You know what, I kinda like the convent lifestyle," You kidded and reclined. You rolled onto your stomach and stretched. "It's quiet."

You hid your face as you leaned your forehead on your bent arms. Her laughter filled your ears and you tried not to think of Steve. Of what he wanted. Of what he would do. You had heard that it hurt, but you weren't so worried about the pain.

-

Kylie had a burn along her nose and cheeks and Dani had drained her secret flask of vodka. Her and Jenny argued for fifteen minutes about the lack of sharing. They finally quit as you piled into the car. You drove on the way back. The other three girls were sleepy from the day in the sun. You were too but sleep wasn't high on your list of priorities.

Once you reached the main strip, Kylie roused herself enough to give you directions. Jenny's house was the first stop, Danielle’s the second. The same suburban castles as their friend. The whole town was the pillar of white collar America.

You idled at the corner just before Kylie's house. She didn't notice as your fingers tapped the steering wheel and you stared at the familiar gate just down the lane. You hit the gas and pulled onto the long drive. Kylie yawned and opened her eyes as she sat up.

"Jeez, I'm exhausted," She said as you killed the engine. "Would you be mad if I zonked out now?"

"It's barely nine," You chided. You tried to sound like you were kidding but you really didn't want to be left alone. Not here.

"I'm sorry. I--" She yawned again. "I should have put my umbrella up sooner."

"And I'm the square," You joked as you followed her to the trunk and helped unload the cooler. You hooked your bag over your shoulder and lifted it between you.

"Now you know how it feels," She chuckled. "I'll get up early tomorrow, okay?"

"Fine," You grumbled as you followed her to the kitchen. You set the cooler down by the counter.

"I'll take care of that in the morning," She shrugged and dragged her feet back out the door. 

You were a step behind her as she climbed the stairs. Your skin was on fire as you listened for any sign of life. Flinched at every shadow. Steve was here somewhere. She patted your shoulder as she grumbled a good night and you parted to your respective rooms; impossibly far from one another.

You looked back as the door closed behind her and you sighed. You grabbed your handle and turned. It didn't budge. You jiggled it and tried again. You shook the door and cursed under your breath. Another trap.

The realization wasn't soon enough. You hadn't heard his door, you only felt the weight of his gaze. You turned to Steve as he leaned on his elbow against the doorframe and smirked.

"Need help?"

"No," You grabbed the door handle and pushed down with all your force. It didn't move. "I can…"

"It does that," He pushed himself from the wooden frame and neared. "You just need to know the trick." His hand closed over yours before you let go of the handle. He wiggled it and suddenly it released. "It jams every now and then."

He didn't release you. His breath washed over your head and you looked up at him meekly. "Kylie--"

"Was barely awake when she stumbled through her door," He said, "And if she wakes, you think she's going to come knocking on your door...or mine."

"Please, just...haven't you done enough?" You asked.

"Have I?" His other hand grazed your thigh. "It's one thing to be touched by a man but another to touch a man…"

He drew your hand away from the handle. He walked backwards as he tugged you with him. You tried to yank your hand free but his grip was strong; his hand almost twice the size of yours. 

"With these," He took your other hand and rubbed the back with his thumb, "You can drive a man crazy."

"Steve…" You pulled and he did the same; so hard that you collided with him, your arms caught between your bodies.

"Shhh," He led you through his doorway, "I know you're a smart girl...such a quick learner."

"I…" Your voice quivered as he spun with you in his arms and released you. The door shut with a click as you kept yourself from tripping. You looked up as he turned the lock. He grabbed the bag from your shoulder and plopped it behind him.

"You don't have to be afraid," He cooed as he neared, "I want it to be special for you...but tonight isn't the night."

"What are you--" He turned you by your shoulders and you looked around the room. His large bed was awash in scarlet light, thin scarves slung over the lamps.

"Tell me, have you ever touched a man before?" He took your hand and urged you forward. "Have you even seen…"

"N-no," He jolted you forward as you tried to resist. "I...no, please."

"We can take it slow. We have taken it slow, haven't we?" He brought you to the end of the bed. Again he turned you and pushed on your shoulders until you sat. "I've been gentle, haven't I?"

You lowered your head. He had been. You couldn't deny that; couldn't deny the feelings he had inspired in you. You couldn’t ignore the heat that was once again licking at your flesh.

"Sweetie," He purred as he cupped your face in his hands, "It's okay to enjoy yourself. Sex is not a sin. The human body...is beautiful." He brushed his thumb over your cheekbone, "Your body is beautiful."

You lowered your lashes shyly and he bent to kiss you. His lips met yours hungrily and his hands drifted down your neck and along your chest. He felt your tits through your tee and bathing suit beneath. Your nipples hard against his palms.

"Just relax," He whispered as he pulled away. He stood and ran a hand along the front of his jeans. "Take off your shirt, sweetie."

His eyes were intent on you. You pouted but your voice was but a wisp in your chest. You reached down and slowly pulled up the hem of your tee. His pupils grew as you stripped yourself of the pale yellow cotton to reveal the same floral bathing suit you'd worn on your first day there.

"Mmm, I like that one," You glanced down. You could see your nipples poking through the fabric. The pale pink patterns did nothing to hide your own arousal. "And your shorts."

"I…" You breathed and he pressed a single finger to your lips. He dropped his hand as you stood. You rolled your shorts down and he rubbed the crotch of his jeans. "Sit."

You obeyed a little too quick. You bounced from the force of your descent and he chuckled. He grabbed his belt buckle and swiftly undid it. You bit down as he unhooked the button of his fly and looked at you as he slid down the zipper.

He shoved his pants down just to his thighs. He tucked his fingers in the elastic of his brief. He pulled them down his pelvis and carefully past his erection. You gasped as he revealed his thick cock and your heart beat wildly. He rolled his briefs down to the top of his jeans.

He grabbed the base of his cock. "It's not so bad, is it?" He said, "You like it, don't you?" He stroked himself and shuddered. "Just like that."

He let go and inched forward. He reached down and took your hand from beside your leg. He wrapped your fingers around his cock and closed his hands over them. He led your grip up and down his length. The skin was smooth and the veins pulsed against your palm.

"Mmmm," He repeated the motion, "Yeah." You bit your lip and he released you after the third stroke. "Keep going, sweetie." You did it again and again and he leaned into your touch, his hands on his hips. "Ah, baby, you're a natural." He let his head fall back and ran his fingers through his golden hair. 

"Firmer," You tightened your grip, your eyes on your hand. "Faster. Yeah...oh god." His breath picked up as you continued. You could feel the wetness along your bathing suit. "Okay."

He stopped your hand with his and gently pulled it away. He stepped even closer. "Now," He took his cock in his other hand. "Try it with your mouth."

"What?" You blinked at him. "I…"

"Take it slow, use your tongue first," He coaxed as he spread his hand over the side of your head. "It's a lot, don't take it all at once."

You gaped at him and he urged you to the edge of the bed. He came closer still and pressed the head of his cock to your lips. You flicked your tongue out across his tip and he sighed. 

"More," He rasped. 

You licked him shyly, a swirl around the head of his cock. He exhaled sharply and you dragged your tongue down his length as you leaned forward. You went back to his tip and repeated the motion. He tasted salty.

"Just like that, baby. Make sure your ready for it," He cradled your head as you licked him up and down once more. "Use your hand."

You gripped him and started to stroke him as you used your tongue. His hand slid around the back of your head and he pushed himself to your lips. "A little at a time, sweetie."

You gulped and clamped your lips shut. You looked up at him as he pushed harder. 

"Open up that pretty little mouth," His voice was stern. "You can do it, sweetie."

You parted your lips and closed your eyes. He pushed his head inside and you stretched your mouth around him. You kept your hand on him and stopped as he prodded at your throat. He guided you back with his grasp on your head and shoved himself back in. You couldn't take all of him.

"Use your tongue," He directed, "Mmm, yeah, keep those lips tight. Yeah, like that." He hummed as he hit the back of your throat again. "Don't be afraid to get messy." 

You felt the spit spreading along his shaft and against your hand as you moved it in time with his mouth. You did you best to breathe past his girth.

"You're doing good, sweetie," He pet your head as he cooed, "Oh, yeah, so good."

He groaned and gripped the sides of your head as he moved you faster and faster. Your eyes rolled back as tears pricked and you gulped back the saliva pooling in your mouth.

"Can I cum on your tits, baby?" He grunted.

He pulled out suddenly. You could barely react as he grabbed the front of your bath suit and ripped it down. He stroked his cock as he wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and forced you close. He hissed as a warmth spurted onto your chest and between your tits. 

"Fuckkkk," The drawn out moan surrounded you and he slowed his hand as he let go of you. He leaned back on his heels and sighed. "Ah, that was so good, sweetie."

He flinched as he released his cock. He eased himself back into his briefs and carefully pulled up his jeans. He smirked down at you and you looked at the cum dripping down your tits.

"Even more beautiful than before, sweetie," He pulled the straps of your bathing suit up your arms and covered his cum. "Tomorrow," He bent and kissed your forehead, "We'll finish our little lessons."

-

tags to be added in reblog

[winchest09]

Our Virtual Lockdown - Lowdown

Hey everyone!

Our lockdown livestream was once again one filled with laughter, smiles and support and it warms my heart to see so many of your faces each time we do this. 

6 and a half hours we were talking…SIX AND A HALF and again, I loved every single second. It was so nice to see so many gorgeous faces, and I’m so happy that so many of you joined us! The support from you guys for each other, the love in this fandom; I can’t express how much I adore it. 

Me and @katehuntington​ love holding these events and we are already planning the next live stream (date to be announced) but it will be soon!

This is the lowdown for the fourth lockdown party!

Below you will find:

Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.

Q & A with our writers and readers. 

Blogs who want to help with your writing

Can you help us?

Fic & blog recs

Announcements

So without further ado… *cracks fingers*

To everyone that joined…

You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is.  So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat last night accompanied by their masterlist and what they have coming up soon! In no particular order…

@katehuntington​: Kate is currently working on the next instalment of Ride With Me, All I Want and she has JUST posted an adorable little oneshot/drabble called Wedding Bells! 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@flamencodiva​: This babe is currently working on a multitude of things and we are super excited to see them come out. She wasn’t with us for as long as normal so we didn’t hear what she was working on at the moment but we know its gonna be good! Head over to her page and send her some love! 

Check out her masterlist HERE

@whatareyousearchingfordean​: Alex is currently writing the ending to her Jensen fiction Et Cetera AND she has decided her next fiction!

Firefighter Dean x OFC Marina. From what we’ve already heard...it sounds amazing! I won’t give away any plot points that we were told just yet but it’s one to be put on your watch list! 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@talesmaniac89​:  This beaut also has a lot that she’s working on at the moment. The next instalments of The Man in Apartment 43. The next chapters of Lost (which is a little darker), she’s also working on a Heist AU and something that we’ve had a sneak peak at! 

She’s created a fake website called HunT and is creating a social media AU set in the universe. The whole story will be told through text messages and emails. It’s NOT one to miss!  

Check her out guys, her masterlist is HERE

@superfanficnatural​:  This babe is currently working on the next chapters of The Bringer of balance as well as the next chapters of The Choice! The fifth chapter of Bringer of Balance came out two days ago. Also working on a Oscar Isaac request as well as a new Smut Series, RPF Series and Benny x Dean smut! 

We’re living for it! 

Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE

@emoryhemsworth​: This beaut is still fleshing out the series she was writing last time we did the lockdown and she is also working on a sequel to a previous fic called Because Of You. The sequel will be in the hurt/comfort category so she is definitely gonna be stretching those angst muscles!

Check our her masterlist HERE:

@malfoysqueen14​: This lovely lady is new to the Supernatural fandom and is trying her hand at writing fanfiction! Her first fic “White Flag” is Dean x OFC and it’s going in a very interesting direction! Worth a read!

She hasn’t yet got a masterlist but you can check out White Flag HERE

@ellewritesfix05​: Another new writer to the Supernatural scene but guys, she’s a doll and her writing has me smiling! She’s currently working on a fiction called “Midwife Crisis” and it’s so good. 

You can check out her masterlist HERE

Me: I’m currently working on two series, Life for Rent and Man’s Best Friend! I also have a couple of Dean series being worked on in the background as well as a couple of oneshots…one which is gonna be called “Wasted on You” 

Watch this space!

To the new writers…

These guys are all new when it comes to terms of writing and are yet to create masterlists for there work. However, we do know that some of them have W.I.P’s right now and we are SO excited to hear more about them next time we do another stream. 

Fingers crossed, we’ll see some content from them soon! They have some amazing idea’s that I, personally, cannot wait to read!

Remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk fics, want me to look over one etc.

Go and follow and give them some love!

@janicho88​ @imjustadrummer​  @impalaprincess​ @waywardbeanie​

and to the readers that joined…

@leissa1287​ and the few nonnies we had! 

We love you, we thank you for reading and we thank you for all the support and love you give us constantly. Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3

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Q & A with our writers & our readers! 

During this live stream, we asked everyone to join in and to ask the writers and readers some questions! We had a few so the write up for this is below! I hope you enjoy reading them. 

Q) What comes first? The title then the story or the story then the title? 

Most of us: (in chorus) Stories then title. 

Mert (superfanficnatural): All I will say is, summaries are the devil!

Alex (whatareyousearchingfordean): If i’m honest, I don’t like the title Et Cetera so I’ve decided that I will be changing it once I get to the end of the fiction. 

Me (winchest09): For me it depends, sometimes I can get a story from a song and the title just fits. I had Life for Rent as I started writing it. Other times, when it comes to oneshots, it’s always the story that’s there but I have no idea what to call it and i’m bugging Kate or Sian (@deanwanddamons) for help!

Kate (katehuntington): I think of the story entirely first. I need to know what’s going to happen and I have to plan it all out and once that’s done, I can then think of the title. I like to put the title in the dialogue sometimes too. Ride With Me is gonna be a line in the fic!  

Alex (whatareyousearchingfordean): Yeah, if i can’t think of one (a title), I  generally pull a sentence from the line of the fic. A line that is of some significance or that could be important to the story.

Emory (emoryhemsworth): I love it when fics do that!

Q) What’s the way you write a series? Chapter by Chapter or have it all set out with a start middle and end before you set out to write it?

Mert (superfanficnatural): Chapter chapter but it kinda depends on the fic itself.

Elle (ellewritesfix05): Chapter by chapter!

Alex (whatareyousearchingfordean): Chapter by chapter but it depends on my mood. 

Me (winchest09): I generally have it all planned with my start middle and end. At least bullet pointed before i divide it into my chapters. But it’s all subject to change. Fics take their own life sometimes and you just have to roll with it. But i like to have a direction in mind. 

Kate (katehuntington): I do the outline, but I usually writer chapter for chapter publishing wise. But I definitely know where I'm going before I put down the first words

Q) Do you guys (writers) know how many chapters you’ll have when you start?

Kate (katehuntington): *laughs* No.

Me (winchest09): No, not all! I never expected Life for Rent to be this long and yet I still have chapters to go. I’ve also had to split chapters too with how long they’ve gotten!

Mert (superfanficnatural): Sometimes but not all the time. 

Q) Do readers feel pressured to leave feedback?

Shelli (waywardbeanie): No, not really. 

Emory (emoryhemsworth): In some instances...yes. When blogs point out and make people feel bad for the lack of feedback. I understand it’s important but it does add the pressure to leave a comment. 

Q) What do you do if you get writers block?

Angel (malfoysqueen14): I read comments, or I like to speak to people who are interested in reading my fics. Talk the story over with them, get the buzz going again. 

Emory (emoryhemsworth): I get up, walk away and have a break from it. Take a shower, have something to eat, have just ten minutes for myself then come back to it with fresh eyes. 

Kate (katehuntington): I feel like 70% of the time, I cant get it out. I can’t get the words out. I wish i could push over 1K a day but sometimes it doesn’t happen for me. 

Angel (malfoysqueen14): Another bit of advice would be to just write, even if its terrible or you think it’s terrible. Put it down and get some words out!

Alex (whatareyousearchingfordean): Yeah I agree. For ‘Et Cetera’ I actually wrote part 17 before I wrote anything else because that’s what I had the inspiration for at the time. Then I had to work out how to link it all but I got there. If that doesn’t work, then change projects for a bit and start something fresh. 

Kate (katehuntington): Yeah that’s what I did and why I wrote ‘Wedding Bells’. It definitely helped. 

Q) Do you write it chronological order or not?

Mert (superfanficnatural): Sort of. Like, in my head when i’m writing, I envision the scene, then as i’m typing i can see where the scene could go, like I have many different options to go down. Then i pick one as I get there! 

Kate (katehuntington): Yes, cause i feel like it’d be swiss cheese if not. Full of holes! *laughs*

Me (winchest09): No. I always think I’m a little bit of a strange one for this but I write all over the place. I can write the ending first, then the beginning, then the middle. I’ve got a scene written in my ending but i’m nowhere near that yet! I write what I have the inspiration for at the time then thread it all together. 

Emory (emoryhemsworth): My inspiration always comes out when i’m at work when I cant write. 

Me (winchest09): Oh that happens to me all the time! Especially when I’m driving! 

Angel (malfoysqueen14): I end up writing notes on pieces of receipts *laughs*

Shelli (waywardbeanie): A good idea maybe to record notes on your phone!

Mert (superfanficnatural): Yeah spit out ideas on your phone. That way when you feel like you’ve lost the inspiration, you can always listen to it again and it’ll give you the spark back to write it! 

Me (winchest09): Ok random...and this might make me look crazy but...does anyone else act out their dialogue?

Everyone: Yes! 

Me (winchest09): Thank god! *laughs*

Mert (superfanficnatural): It’s actually a good idea because it can help you channel the emotions. 

Q) For someone who hasn’t written smut before or had any experience to go on, what do you do?

Kate (katehuntington): Watch porn *laughs*

Me (winchest09): Read, read read read. Fanfic, normal books, talk to someone you’re comfortable with about it all, get them to have a look over your stuff if you want them too.

Kate (katehuntington): I have the perfect post to help with synonyms! It’ll be included in the lowdown (Check below in the need help section) 

Mert (superfanficnatural): Definitely ask someone that you speak too to beta it for you if you want them too! 

Alex (whatareyousearchingfordean): What also helps if you don’t have experience with a partner or a partner. Experiment with yourself. You’ll know what feels good and how to describe it. 

————————-

Need Help with a fic?

We’ve got you covered!

Need to has out a plot with someone?

The lovely @malfoysqueen14​ has offered herself up to be a plot buddy to anyone that needs it. Stuck on a plot point, want to talk through a story line with someone? Give her a message! She’s here to help <3

Also want an aesthetic making for your fictions? 

She also wants to help people by putting her photoshopping skills to use! Want an aesthetic being made? Give her a shout! 

Need help writing those all important fight scenes?

Give our babe @imjustadrummer​ a message! They are filled with knowledge and even give us a demonstration on how to punch correctly on the livestream! Definitely one to have on your contacts list! <3

Need help with research for a fiction?

The most wonderful @waywardbeanie​ has offered herself up to be a researcher for anyone who wants help with their fiction. She has been a die hard SPN fan forever and she’s like the Ellen of our live stream.

Need a researching buddy? Give her a message! She’s a doll <3

Need help with some sweet smut writing?

Our girl @katehuntington​ has got you covered! Check out this link HERE

————————-

Can You Help Us?

We are putting out the bat signal for our lovely @imjustadrummer​ who is after a blueprint to The Bunker’s garage! If anyone has one or know any information about layouts...please give her a shout! 

————————-

Fic & blog Recs!

In our live stream, we want to highlight what we’ve been reading and the amazing authors behind the words. So below is a list of all the fics that we recommend for some good ol fic binging!

Fic Recs

Sons of Lawrence by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​

Summary: You ran, ran as far as you could from your previous life, ran so far you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas of all places. You had no intention of getting involved with the most notorious biker gang in Lawrence, a biker gang that trafficked illegal drugs, weapons, and anything that might make them money. But Dean Winchester was impossible to resist. One look into those green eyes and you were gone. 

The Man At The Side Of The Road by @supernatural-jackles​

Summary: Driving down the road, going well over the speed limit. You come across a man walking in the opposite direction with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. His head cast down as he walked. Your gut instinct is telling you to check on this man, no matter what your parents told you growing up. Little did you know just how much this would change your life. Dirty Little Secret by @pink1031​

Summary: You are a new character on the show Supernatural, a new hunter named Riley. You are just starting your second season as a regular. Even though you have known Jensen for years and have been close friends, your relationship grows into something more during filming.  You both know that you shouldn’t act on your feelings but you just can’t help it.  What will happen if you do? 

Nicotine by @talesmaniac89​​

Summary: Dean has his vices, but they all pale in comparison to how he craves you. Yet he pushed you away, leaving him gasping for air.

Side by Side by @talesmaniac89​

Summary: You go looking for Dean on the eve of another hunter’s death anniversary. Knowing he’s lost, and needing to comfort him.

You’re Home by @impala-dreamer​

Summary: N.A but this looks like a must read! 

Home Is Where You Are by @muggleishly​

Summary: N/A but this looks adorable! 

The Voices by @fictionalabyss​

Summary: N/A but this looks angsty AF. Go read!

Who Do You Think You Are by @flamencodiva​

Summary: Dean and Y/N have a friends with benefits deal. But what happens along their journey.

Every Time You Leave, I Hit Rock Bottom by @arazialotis​ 

Summary: Scenes from the up and downs of Dean and Y/N’s relationship as they struggle to balance his life as a hunter.

Sky Full Of Stars by @smol-and-grumpy​ 

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, ex mobster boss, still a little cocky, less ruthless and not at all short tempered anymore. Instead, he thinks he’s hilarious (she doesn’t agree, though). They both try to live a quiet life. And Dean hopes, very hard, that his former life won’t come knocking at their door.

Cross My Heart by @smol-and-grumpy​

Summary:  After opening up a letter, the life as she knows it, changes forever. Her husband hires Dean Winchester to protect her but is Dean really who he said he was? And is her husband really worried about her safety?

One Good Reason by @sunlightdances​

Summary: Dean never brings women back to the bunker. It figures the one time he breaks his own rule, the state issues a lockdown. Navigating the next month is an exercise in trust, patience and falling in love. 

Protector by @fictionalabyss​

Summary: I couldn’t find a summary but this is a Biker AU and it looks AMAZING. 

Shattered Like A Stone by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Summary:  The Mark is demanding and the demon in Dean won’t deny it.

Marked by @there-must-be-a-lock

Summary:  This is a story about trust and control. It’s about the Mark of Cain, trauma and recovery, BDSM, vulnerability, honesty, and the marks we leave on people we love.

Playing Pretend by @supernatural-fangirl1967​ 

Summary:  When you confide in a stranger that you need a date for a week with your family, you don’t expect him to show up offering his help. You try and act like a happy couple, but things get complicated when you start to actually fall for this man. Could you pull it all off and get through the week as more than friends, or do secrets from his past show up to ruin it all?

Logged In by @talesmaniac89​

Summary: Sam tells Dean and the reader about a new online community for hunters and they both scoff at him, but secretly use it and end up drawn to each other.

Shackled by @itmighthavebeenintentional​

Summary: After nearly ten years, Sam Winchester calls Miriam Bard to collect on a life debt. Unfortunately for Miriam, Sam leaves out a few important details.

Blog Recs

@ne-gans​ , @saxxxologybookshelf​ , @negans-lucille-tblr ,  @samsexualdeancurious​ by @emoryhemsworth​ 

“I really love these blogs and the work they produce! Some stuff is only available on patreon but if you love their work, it’s definitely worth it”

@promptandpros​ by @superfanficnatural​

“This blog writes a lot of male reader fictions! Check them out! “

@impala-dreamer by @katehuntington​

I love her stuff. I love that she can do really angsty fics and then come up with crack fics off the top of her head, fics that have me laughing my ass off. Check her out! 

PHEW! I definitely think we have enough fics on here to last us for a few days if not weeks!…don’t you? ;) Please guys don’t forget to give these writers some love when reading their fics, comments, reblogs, asks. It means the world.

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Interested in roleplaying & DnD?

@imjustadrummer​ has set up a Dungeons and Dragons campaign set in the Supernatural (main) universe!

If you’re into role playing, fancy bringing one of your OFC’s to life or just wanna be badass yourself…why not consider joining?!

All the information you need on this is HERE

Make some new friends, live out your dreams of being a hunter, angel or demon and HAVE FUN!

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ANNOUNCEMENTS!

We some wonderful announcements to make once again!

Firstly...

Mert ( @superfanficnatural​ ) on June 6th, our darling Mert will be in the @spnfanficpond​‘s discord channel as a special guest! He will be there to give advice to anyone who wants it from the male point of view. Go over and say hi! 

Please note that to do this...you will need to be a member of the pond to participate in this but it’s super simple to join, the how to is on the page, and we are all a lovely bunch of coconuts (didleedum). But seriously...we are all lovely and friendly. 

Secondly...

Me and the wonderful @katehuntington​ are excited to announce that we will shortly be launching a podcast series! The name is still pending however we will be talking about all things fanfiction, all things life and everything else in general! We will have special guests, we can take questions or talk about issues that you guys wanna go over! 

Watch this space...

Thirdly....

This is only for you guys in the USA but wanna receive birthday texts from the darling Misha...we have his number for you!

3234059939

Have fun! 

————————-

I think that’s it!

Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 hours of laughs and i cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!

Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in a couple of weeks, date to be announced. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!

@deanwanddamons - tagging you babe as you asked so you can catch up on what we talked about <3

THANK YOU.

xox

[aion-rsa]

Jupiter’s Legacy: Choreographing Superheroic Stunts

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This article is presented by:

Stunt teams are some of the hardest working people in the industry. They literally put their lives on the line just to entertain us and yet there’s so little acknowledgement of their contributions. There is no Oscar for stunt work, but there should be. Netflix’s adaptation of Jupiter’s Legacy has secured one of the industry’s hottest stunt choreographers, one who is no stranger to superhero action, Philip J. Silvera. 

If you’ve read Jupiter’s Legacy already, you know Frank Quitely’s artwork leaps off the page, splattered with intense moments of sanguineous bloodshed. Quitely’s graphic style is a perfect fit for Silvera, who says he’s always been inspired by the visceral violence of films like Goodfellas and The Godfather Part II.

“My action in the past has always had a bit of a lead pipe brutality to it,” confesses Silvera with a grin. Who better to choreograph the huge superhero brawls of Jupiter’s Legacy? 

School of Hard Knocks 

Stunt work has always been Silvera’s destiny. “I always wanted to do stunts, since I was a kid.” Silvera’s father was a boxer who was just about to go pro, but his fortune took a bad turn after he broke his arm and leg. Nevertheless, Philip inherited his father’s fighting spirit. After starting his martial arts training in Karate, Silvera switched over to a Shaolin-based system of Chinese Kung Fu, which he studied for about 20 years. 

Silvera got his first break in 1997. He was competing in a martial arts tournament in New York City when he was approached to do an off-Broadway show called Voice of the Dragon: Once Upon a Time in Chinese America. It was a groundbreaking show from maverick playwright and noted jazz composer Fred Ho. Silvera describes it as “a bit of an urban Peking opera, really a martial arts ballet.” The show demanded he play a character, do martial arts, fight, fall, and flip on stage in front of a live audience. 

As Silvera got deeper into the stunt world, his training diversified to accommodate a wider variety of roles. He studied Kali stick fighting and even trained with Cecep Arif Rahman (The Raid 2, John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum). Beyond his film work, Rahman is a genuine master of the Indonesian martial art called Pencak Silat. As a stunt coordinator, Silvera must keep pushing his training forward so he can meet the demands of his next project. “I just constantly want to keep learning different things and evolving.”

Silvera began officially working as a stuntman in movies and TV in 2005. You must work your way up to that director’s chair, and in the stunt industry, that means you’ve got to pay your dues and take a lot of hard knocks. By 2010, he got his first action and fight choreographer credit with Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II. That was followed by several coordinator roles on more video games like DC Universe Online, Batman: Arkham City, and Star Wars: The Old Republic. After an uncredited role assisting with the fight choreography in Iron Man 3, he received his first credited movie fight choreographer role for Thor: The Dark World.

Changing the Game

However, it was his work on Netflix’s Daredevil that caught the attention of both action and superhero fans. Silvera served as the Fight and Stunt Coordinator for the first two seasons of the series, and for action connoisseurs, he built a choreographic trademark for the show: the one-take fight scene. In Daredevil’s second episode, Silvera orchestrated a showstopping one-take hallway slugfest and every fan of fight choreography took notice. That scene propelled action in streaming TV to the cinematic level of big screen fight choreography. “I think most people would be surprised to hear that we designed that one-shot sequence in Daredevil in a day and a half,” Silvera says. 

Silvera followed up that hallway fight with a one-take stairwell scrap in season two (an episode directed by Marc Jobst, who also directed two episodes of Jupiter’s Legacy). Hallway and stairwell fights comprise two of the three most common settings for extended fight scenes (the third being warehouse fights – there’s an innumerable amount of these in actioners because it’s just easy and cheap to find warehouse locations). Hallways serve as a device to narrow the playing field when one person must take on several opponents. The width of the hallway restricts how many adversaries can come at the hero at a time. Silvera’s Daredevil hallway fight is held in the same esteem as the epic hallway fight in Chan-wook Park’s Oldboy and is considered by many to be the greatest TV fight scene to date. 

Stairway fights showcase technical expertise. The footwork must be precise because one misstep can result in a devastating ankle twist for any stunt person. Additionally, falling down stairwells isn’t easy. It requires top notch stunt people to stage safely. 

Read more

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Jupiter’s Legacy: From Page to Screen

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Jupiter’s Legacy Ending Explained

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For Silvera to deliver such high-level fight choreography for the small screen was groundbreaking. Until the rise of streaming, most TV shows were more reserved with their action because it is a longer haul. A feature-length movie might contain half a dozen fight scenes, at best. An action TV series might stage that many fights in just two or three episodes, with plenty more over the course of the season. This takes an incredible toll on the stunt team, which is why many martial arts-themed TV series gas out before the season finale. This is what made Silvera’s work on Daredevil so revolutionary at the time. Now, a half decade later, many TV shows have upped their action game, but they owe a great debt to Silvera and his team. “I really enjoyed bringing Daredevil to life. Charlie Cox was amazing. That was a pleasure working with Steve DeKnight on that show.” 

Since then, Silvera has tackled several super powered action icons for the silver screen, like Deadpool, Terminator: Dark Fate, and the Jaegers in Pacific Rim: Uprising. Silvera has fond memories of sitting down with director Tim Miller while working on Deadpool and Terminator: Dark Fate and setting the parameters of superpowers in combat. “It’s always that they’re really good at this, but what’s their weakness?” The audience will accept superpowers if the film stays consistent within its constructs. For Silvera, it’s about finding a new challenge in every sequence. “What I try and do is always make it super relative to the characters and then make it so that the audience can feel something when they watch it.”

Super Fights

Spanning eight episodes in Season 1, Jupiter’s Legacy allows Silvera the space to stretch his choreographic legs. “I believe the action on our show pushes the story and the characters forward, as much as it does on any of the other shows I’ve worked on in the past,” Silvera says. “And I’m super excited to see what fans think of the storytelling, the nonverbal storytelling, that happens within our action sequences.” 

Non-verbal storytelling lies at the very heart of every action choreographer. The fight scenes are the climax of the story and that unspoken dialogue of conflict must rise to that or else an actioner will fail. “Nonverbal communication,” stresses Silvera, “like The Empire Strikes Back, the scene that happens between Luke and Vader.” His passion for the Star Wars franchise led him to direct “Star Wars: Scene 38 ReImagined.” It was a reworking of the first lightsaber battle we ever saw – Obi-Wan Kenobi versus Darth Vader. Silvera spliced together footage from Star Wars: A New Hope with new fight footage. Doubling for Obi-Wan was Dan Brown (Black Panther, Spider-Man: Far from Home). Vader was Richard Cetrone, who was Ben Affleck’s stunt double in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. “Both are seasoned stuntmen in this business and have been around for a while,” adds Silvera.

“Scene 38 ReImagined” was a huge success with over 33.5 million views on YouTube. “That was a bit of a test for myself, as a second unit director and a first unit director,” says Silvera. “I wanted to see if I could add the emotional content into a sequence, that you know the character’s full story from beginning to end.”

From Comics Panels to Movie Frames

Choreographing superheroes has its own unique rules. A still comic panel is one thing. Setting that action into motion is another thing altogether. While comics are akin to storyboarding, when it comes to fights, a few panels describe that action. It then becomes Silvera’s job to unravel that into a fight with a dozen or more beats. 

One of his favorite examples for Jupiter’s Legacy is the “Hilltop” sequence. In the original comic, it’s a ferocious battle told over only four panels. Silvera saw that raw brutality and constantly built on that mindset with his choreography. 

“Those four panels really set the tone of our show and you’ll see that in the first episode.” He’s especially proud of this Hilltop sequence, as well as many other favorites. Two more sequences that he mentions with special pride he dubs “Tokyo Alley” and “The Vault,” but Silvera won’t elaborate on those cryptic titles just yet. “I don’t want to give away too much.” Fans who’ve already read the comic can probably guess what he’s talking about. “It starts off big and it stays that way up to the very end.” 

And for those fans familiar with Frank Quitely’s spectacular art, Silvera adds “We do our best to match those panels and the emotion that he puts into them. He really set the bar for us. And I think we met it.”

Superhero Boot Camp

As with many casts, most of the Jupiter’s Legacy actors have minimal background in martial arts or stunts. However, Silvera prefers it that way. “You get to figure out their characters and their movement in a different way.” He’d have ideas for them and then see something natural come out of their body language, which he would cultivate into something new and exciting. 

The cast was put through vigorous training where Silvera says they all worked extremely hard. “Literally a month of bootcamp with the lead actors training every day with our fight team and fight coordinator.” The cast would come in and work on basic movements and fight drills. “And then they would ride the wire for hours because there’s a lot of flying in the show.” 

As Supervising Stunt Coordinator, Silvera is quick to credit his fight and stunt rigging team. Micah Karns is the fight coordinator and Jayson Dumenigo is the 2nd Unit Stunt Coordinator and Key Rigger, a critical role for a flying superhero show. The threesome has worked together since Daredevil and teamed up again for several successive projects including Deadpool, Terminator, Pacific Rim, and Love, Death & Robots. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

“We have such a tight workflow at this point, from the years of us working together, that we know how to expedite things,” Silvera says. “We know how to keep up the pace. And we’re definitely doing seven days a week on this show.” The stunt team worked hand-in-hand with the cast for months to achieve the action that they wanted. “I’m super excited to see them and what they did come together on screen.”

The post Jupiter’s Legacy: Choreographing Superheroic Stunts appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3o84dlO

[har-rison-s]

heaven: 16

nothing lasts forever

request/plot: Stan x Reader where they were together back in Derry and kind of forgot about each other after moving away but they always had a void in their lives. And then when Stan is just about to do it after Mikes call his phone rings and it’s you and you’re crying after just getting off the phone with Mike to come to Derry. You both end up going back and seeing each other at the restaurant and you guys just catch up after all these years that passed and old feelings come back.

A/N: Hi! Part sixteen already. Whew, last one was quite long, wasn’t it? It’s one of my best works ever, I think. Has me feeling so many emotions, and quite strongly, idk. Welp, here goes one of the last chapters. I still haven’t decided how many more chapters there will be, but I just know this Heaven is nearing its end. I hope you all like how this turns out. I’m still a bit conflicted between a few characters and plot points of the ending, like I have a few versions of the ending in mind, and I wanna execute all and none of them at the same time. If I decide on this one ending that’s the most strong out of all of them, I hope y’all won’t kill me. I just finished rewatching the 1990 mini-series. Damn, that’s messy. The dialogues, the special effects… Don’t even get me started on the acting. Anyways, happy quarantine reading! Love you lots <3

warnings: long as always hahahah, wounds, blood, food, nothing else

word count: 3.7k

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Gif credit goes to owner, which isn't me! (Also, it's raining in the gif but idc! Y'all know it's morning and sunny as hell in Derry, Maine rn!)

“Could we have six menus and a first-aid kit?” Richie Tozier asks the young waitress who has approached their miserable-looking table. Her eyebrows raise and she scans the eight adults to see why they would need a first aid kit—not that it’s any of her business—and she screams, coming across Eddie’s bleeding side. The Losers flinch at the high pitch of her scream.

“You need to get to the hospital!” She says, tears streaming down her face. Now this one’s quite emotional for six o’clock in the morning, the Losers think in unison and exchange looks between themselves, finding it imposible to say any words at the current moment. 

“I promise, he’s fine.” Richie tells the girl, looking at her through his thick glasses.

“It’s just a scratch.” Eddie says non-chalantly, and the waitress thinks to herself that these really are a bunch of crazy people, as she presumed when they walked inside the diner. “Besides, I’m a doctor. Could you please bring the menus and a.... uh, a first-aid kit?” He squints and tries his best at a smile at the crying waitress. 

She gathers herself, wipes her tears and smiles as wide as up to her ears. “Right away.” She says in a squeaky voice and leaves their table. The Losers exchange looks between themselves once again, overwhelmed by the events of the night and by the heavily emotional waitress that they have to deal with. They huddle closer together to one another in their red-and-white leather seated booth. 

The place smells of freshly cooked food, coffee and cigarettes. Oh, they’ll all definitely have coffee. A mood and energy booster, that’s for sure, that’s what they need. Though none of them are sure they even have such a thing as a ‘mood’, or ever will. This morning they’re certainly not in any kind of mood. To be completely honest, the Losers feel quite hollow. They feel completed, and they feel a lot of love and pride, but they feel empty inside, as if there’s a hole in their chests and it keeps getting more hollow. 

Stanley’s head rests on Y/N’s shoulder, his hair fallen against her delicate neck. She runs her fingers slowly through his semi-dry curls. Only the roots have dried, and slowly the draught moves further through his jet black strands, taking its time. Stanley places his hand over Y/N’s in his lap, their fingers intertwining seconds after. She lays a kiss on his forehead, and he closes his eyes. You can be at peace.

Y/N looks onto Eddie and Richie, both anxiously waiting for that requested first-aid kit. But they look more peaceful than ever before and Y/N thinks, they all must look that way. Richie’s arm has fallen with natural force around Eddie’s shoulders, and Eddie holds that slack hand in his own, creating a lock of security around himself. Richie’s other hand is drumming against the marbled surface of the table, and he looks at Bev and Ben across the table.

They’re talking to themselves abotu something so quietly that no one can hear them. Their foreheads are pressed together and they’re playing with each other’s hands softly, playfully. Bev’s crimson locks touch Ben’s cheek ever so softly and he closes his eyes. January embers. He opens his eyes again and looks strongly into Bev’s. My heart burns there, too.

Bill tries not to watch them too strikingly. But it’s hard, his first supposed crush and love sitting at the other end of the table with his best friend, completely in their own world, completely in love. It’s hard for his heart, to be precise. His mind knows better. You know better, Bill, you have a wife that you love and, now that you think of it, looks a lot like Bev here. And Beverly’s happy. So are the rest of your friends. You’ll go home and you’ll be happy, too. Back home with Audra, her movies, your novels and their shitty endings. 

Maybe I don’t want to go home, he finds himself thinking. And he’s a bit surprised by that thought. Hmm. What does that mean? Maybe I could live in Derry, spend the rest of my days here, watching as the town, hopefully, evolves, changes. Maybe he can live with Mike now. Bill looks over at his friend. Mike’s smiling, smiling for his friends and his own self, but he’s not looking at them. Mike is probably gonna stay, isn’t he? So what’s so bad about me staying here, and with him? 

Actually Bill doesn’t even wanna think about going back what’s been, for the last thirteen years, considered home. The thought of it makes him sick, for some reason. Maybe he’s not yet ready to think about it all, think about the possibility of going back to England and telling Audra they’re moving to Derry. Yeah, she is not gonna like it at all. And he’s not gonna like that she won’t like it. The thought of it makes him sick, as already said. 

“Here are your menus and the kit.” The waitress has returned, and she doesn’t look shabby anymore. She lays out the menus on the table with her delicate, seemingly teenage hands, and puts the first-aid kit on the table in front of Eddie. 

“Thanks so much.” Eddie speaks his thanks the loudest, and the young girl leaves again. Eddie immediately opens the red box and searches for disinfectant and bandages. He finds a bottle of Equate antiseptic and hands it to Richie, continuing his search for cotton gauze and pads, assuming he won’t find plasters as big as he needs in here. 

Richie unscrews the antiseptic and lifts up Eddie’s shirt. Jeez Louise, it’s a bloodbath. Eddie’s started to bleed onto the seat. Y/N sees their desperate situation and hands the box of tissues on the windowsill to Richie. But Richie gives them to Mike, so he can help clean the wound while Richie cleans it with wipes Eddie’s found in the box. 

“You’re losing a shit ton of blood, dude, you feeling okay?” Richie asks Eddie, carefully cleaning the scrape in his side. Eddie winces here and there, and even draws back when it really stings. 

“I’m fine.” Eddie replies in that same non-chalant voice he’s used for the past half hour. “It’s not that much, anyway.” Richie shakes his head at that statement. They’re almost done with cleaning the skin and wound. The blood still flows, though. 

“We’re going to the hospital later.” Richie states in a soft, commanding voice. Eddie doesn’t really pay mind to Richie’s words, having trouble connecting to thoughts about the next five minutes. He’s gathered some bandages from all that he could find in the kit. Then Eddie looks down at his left side and groans.

“Looks like something took a bite out of me.” He states, looking at the obvious strike in his skin and a bit further than that. There’s other layers visible already, a darker red than his skin. Muscle, that is, and he can see some blood vessels too. Oh, dear God, he’s going to faint. The blood flow is not stopping. 

“Be thankful it didn’t.” Richie reminds him. Eddie takes some medical wool and gives it to Richie. He puts it, as softly as he can, directly into the wound after it’s disinfected, to hopefully stop the blood drip for at least a while. Eddie winces, and his face scrunches so much he feels tears squirting out at the corners of his eyes. That is not a nice feeling at all. 

Mike presses his hand on the wool to keep it there while Richie gets bandages from Eddie. He puts the biggest plasters at the top and bottom of the wound, securing the wool, and Mike lets go. Then Eddie adds more wool, puts tissues and bandages over it, and Richie helps him secure it all with gauze. Quite messy, but for the time until they’re in the hospital, this will have to last. Richie cleans up the blood around their make-shift work place and puts Eddie’s shirt back down. They throw the tissues in a trash can under their table—wow, they have that kind of thing here?—and lean against the sofa, both tired, more tired than before.

“No staph infections in our lifetime.” Richie states between yawns. The ones who were there, in the back alley where the two holy words were spoken first, laugh. But Mike and Bev only share looks of confusion. Richie lays a kiss atop of Eddie’s head and embraces him back in his arms. Now they have time to look at what the menu’s offering.

Y/N opens the menu in front of her and Stanley so they can both read it at once. Stanley sighs. “I don’t have my glasses.” He mewls. The words printed on the laminated paper are blurry to him, and he realises his obstacles are either back at the  hotel or lost in the over-flown sewers or the underground lair. He blinks his eyes twice, but he still can’t read anything except for Derry Diner Menu, which are much larger and in bold. 

Y/N tilts her head to rest on his. “Breakfast. Pancakes - ones with caramel, ones with chocolate, ones with bacon and cheese, ones with berries and fruit, ones with ice cream…” She reads out loud. “Country breakfast - ham, eggs, fries, baked beans. Eggs Benedict, Lobster Benedict, Irish Benedict, Eggs Florentine, waffles, steak & eggs.” She sighs. “Anything strike your fancy?”

Stanley shrugs. “Keep reading.” He says, and feels his eyelids and chest heavy. Her voice is so sweet and soothing. Y/N nods.

“Breakfast burrito, mac and cheese, mac and cheese with lobster,” she widens her eyes, “chili, chicken pot pie… turkey, roast beef sandwhiches… sea food, side orders…” she flips through the menu, which requires to move the arm that’s around Stanley. And she finds that his body is limp against hers. She worriedly looks down. 

His breath passes through his slightly parted lips, his eyes are closed and his face is completely relaxed. He’s asleep. Y/N almost laughs into his face, but she turns away and suppresses her giggles. Her friends look at her. “He’s fallen asleep.” She tells them in a whisper, pointing down at Stanley. They nod and most of them smile. No wonder. They feel like doing the same, and they’re actually on the verge, if they weren’t concentrating on reading the menu and hoping for coffee soon. 

Y/N stops her giggling fit and looks down at the menu again. What do I want, what do I want… “What are you guys gonna order?” She asks her friends. 

“Probably pancakes.” Comes from Bev, who’s decided for both her and Ben.

“Us too.” Mike informs. “Bacon?” He asks.

“Berries.” Ben responds. 

“We’re gonna get that country breakfast or whatever.” Richie says. “To get proper fat, you know, grow into Eddie’s mom.” He explains further and everyone giggles, even Eddie himself. 

Y/N hums. “I’ve got no idea. I want everything, but it just won’t fit.” She states and Bill chuckles. “I know what to order for Stanley, but myself…”

“Take the same and stop working your brain.” Mike suggests. Y/N looks at him.

“It’s worked enough for the past hours.” Bill supports his argument. Her eyes shift to Bill, and then she looks down at the menu again, a smile on her face now. 

“I guess it’s just that easy now.” She admits and closes the menu, putting it on the table instead. Making decisions really is that easy now. She leans back into the seat, Stanley’s body moving with hers. He gets more comfortable while sleeping, his face nuzzling into her neck, tickling her a bit, and his arms going around her, securing themselves together at her waist. Y/N smiles and hugs him back, resting her cheek on his curls. She closes her eyes. 

“What will you have?” Bill asks her and she opens an eye to look at him, her own eyelids feeling sort of heavy now. “Before you join him.” He whispers, smiling. She smiles back.

“Love you, Bill.” She tells him sincerely. “Eggs Benedict for us both.” She says and Bill nods. “And coffee, too. Both black, but two sugars in Stanley’s.” She’s surprised herself that she still knows how he likes his coffee, or which breakfast option he’d always choose. It’s like it’s basic knowledge now, something that’s imprinted in her mind and feels like it’s been that way since she can remember. She closes her eyes again and lets her exhaustion take over. She wants to rest, just for a little bit, just lay with Stanley for a while.

She did join him in sleeping for a while. Bill wakes her up when the food and coffees have arrive, starting to tickle her, Ben doing the same to Stanley. The two adults jolt awake, eyes wide and confused, and make their friends laugh. 

“Morning, sleepyheads.” Richie nods to them with a smile. Stanley nods right back and Y/N and he both right themselves, sitting up straight. Y/N moves her hair behind her ear and Stanley flattens his shirt. They look down at the fresh food in front of them, though their vision and look on their environement is still hazy from the good-as-hell nap they just woke up from. 

“Bone, apple, tit, was it?” Richie suggests as a toast for the Losers’ diner breakfast. Everyone laughs once more, but they clink their coffee cups together, repeating Richie’s ridiculous words and they laugh again, harder this time. Languages have never been Richie’s strongest side. 

They all drink coffee in unison and regain some amount energy at that, then delve into their steaming breakfast which fill their noses up to the maximum with utterly irresistible aromas. Richie, like the beast he is, devours half of his plate in the first few minutes while everyone else devours their food bit by bit. But everyone is so endorsed in eating that they don’t pay mind to their friends, for the time they’re eating they even forget they’re with their friends, lest someone else entirely. Food is very good right now. Heavenly, if you might.

When they’re done, they all slump into their seats, letting out groans of content and holding their bellies. “For a diner, that was really good.” Bill says. Y/N laughs. Bill, Eddie, Stanley, Ben—cross that, all of them, except herself and Mike, have grown used to dining at fancy restaurants where it costs to even reserve a table, grown used to making great mega-dishes at home for themselves. They’ve grown used to business events with crazy dinners and a wide range of appetisers. Champagne, wine, whiskey of the highest classes. So this is entirely out of their usual menu, and Bill is, of course, taking it like a snob. Hence Y/N laughed. 

She and Mike have not lived the life their friends have. Not that it’s bad lives they’ve been living upto this point, just different, way different from most of the Losers Club. Y/N hasn’t become a famous writer, architect or fashion designer, neither has Mike. So for one, their daily routine differs, and two, their eating habits differ from their friends’. Diner food may be the lowest of them all, considered so by the highest class of society, but Y/N can safely admit that she likes diner food and doesn’t mind having it once in a while. And what can Mike have in this shithole town, anyway, other than make-believe restaurant meals, takeout and diners? Neither of them mind eating here now or any other time. 

“I want more.” Y/N manages to croak out, and everyone laughs. “Anyone up for a sundae split?”

“Ugh, we’re really gonna get fat.” Eddie sighs. 

“Haystack’s gonna have a come-back!” Richie announces and changes his face into an excited expression. But he still makes his friends laugh, including Ben himself. His laughter rumbles deep and low like a bear’s roar.

“I’ll have a sundae split with you, Y/N/N.” Beverly says, then. Y/N smiles at her. 

“Anyone up for a Diet Coke and salad?” Mike asks now, and they all laugh again. Richie joins the girls for a sundae split, and the rest agree with Mike’s offer. 

“Wait, wasn’t Y/N working in a diner for a while? In, like, high school?” Eddie asks now, as they wait for the waitress, and he looks at Y/N. She looks at him, tired and full from the eggs, but nods. 

“I was.” She confirms. “Not this one, though, the one in the center of town.” She leans towards the table to sit proper and rests her elbows on the surface. She crosses her arms and puts her chin on top of them. “After Bowers and Cockstetter were… out of the picture, I had the freedom to work in the skirt the diner required me to.” She recalls. Those boys were always onto her and Beverly, while they were still alive, which made it hard for them to ever wear something remotely feminine. They always got some sort of cat-calls, and groping was the worst of what would come from them. “Jesus…” 

“What scumbags they were.” Beverly joins in, also leaning against the table. She moves her hair out of her face, and looks to Y/N, but Ben’s worried gaze catches her eye instead. She turns to him. He only reaches for her hand with his own. I’m here now. 

“You working in a diner was the best thing, Y/N.” Richie says, putting emphasis on ‘best’. She looks at him now and smiles, remembering how stoked they all were for free food and the food that she actually made. Mostly deserts. Stanley’s arm makes its way around her waist. She leans closer to him. “I mean, the birthday parties there were amazing. Nothing could top them.”

“Wow, Rich, even college and work parties?” Mike asks, and they both chuckle.

“You bet your fur, Mikey,” Richie says, patting his friend’s shoulder. He looks reminiscent for a second, his head hangs down, and then he tries to put it into words, “you know, I think—I think because childhood, and teenage years, were the best part of my life. I mean, I’m forty now, so I’m old enough to say shit like that, you know, but… It’s true. I know that I thought it then and I know it now—those were the best parties of my life.” He admits and looks around at his friends. “Because—because I was still young, and because it was the best childhood, I think, any kid could wish for. Even counting in all the shame, the fear, and IT. And because I was with you guys.” 

A silence falls upon the Losers Club. But they smile at Richie, and at each other, realising that’s true. Those were the best years of their lives, and actually, taking the horrible parts, the best childhood any child could wish for. The best friends anyone could wish for to spend that childhood and those confusing, difficult teenage years with. Without each other, they wouldn’t be the same, and they wouldn’t be as strong and as full of love and, perhaps, belief. 

“You know…” Stanley starts to say, they look at him, “nothing lasts forever.” He states, shaking his head with a dreamy look in his eyes. Nothing does seem to last forever, that is true. But he has a feeling of differing in opinion with his own statement. Nothing lasts forever—the monster they thought had lived under Derry forever, eaten its kids and other residents, cast a spell on the adults and the whole air of Derry, is now dead. So that doesn’t last forever. The promise they made—it is fulfilled now, meaning it won’t last forever, either. It lasted as long as needed to unite them all again. But this… what they have…

“Except for friendship.” Y/N says, looking at him. “And love.” Yes, friendship and love. Those will last forever. The love they have for each other will outlive all their future deaths, all their future kids’ deaths, and their kids’ deaths. This love, and this bond, it will last forever. It will always be somewhere in the predicted long life of the Earth and humanity. It will fly with the wind, blossom in flowers and rosy cheeks, it will swim with the ocean and breathe with the air. Always.

“And love.” Eddie says it with Y/N in unison. They smile at each other. Love. What a wonderful thing. It might as well be a living creature, like fear was. Only much stronger.

“Desire.” Ben suggests. Beverly closes her eyes and leans her head on his shoulder. I know, Ben. But we’re here now. All the desire pent up in teenage and adult years seems much lighter now. For Beverly, Ben and for Richie and Eddie, too. And for Stanley and Y/N. All their desire towards each other has finally been released, even if the door to it is only open in a narrow slit now. Desire might as well live in all eight of them, desire for each other, desire to meet each other again, desire to have that unbreakable friendship again. Desire for that lived in their hearts all these empty years, it was unknown and mysterious, a feeling they could not guess. Now it’s known, and out in the open, nothing to hide from each other. Or anyone else, for that matter. They’re proud.

The Losers Club fall silent, but comfortably so. They’re finally in a comfortable state with themselves and each other, and with the world around them. Strange, vile and ignorant as it may be, the world is truly amazing, though, and much bigger than they all thought. Brought them together that one summer, made a bond that will last forever. They’ve got a lot to thank it for. But they’ve also got every reason to kick the world in the butt and other places. 

For now, they’ll let it slide. For now, they’re only focused on being in the diner, getting desert and then showering. Most importantly, for now, they’ve got each other, safe and healthy, and that’s all they need. That will do. 

“Anything else you’d like to order?”

Permanent tag-list:  @gabiatthedisco​​​​​​​ @v0idbella​​ ​​​​​@inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs​​​​​​​ @works-of-fanfiction​​​​​​​ @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen​​​​​​​ @stfxlou​​​​​​​ @ur-gunna-h8-ths​​​​​​​ @betweenloveandfire​​​​​​​ @but-legendsneverdie​​​​​​​ @deardeacy​​​​​​​ @thewinchesterchronicles​​​​​​​ @mavieesttriste16​​​​​​​​​​ @langdonzvoid​​​​​​​ @intrrverted​​​​​​​ @the-freak-cassie-131​​​​​​​ @eddie-spaghetti-boi​​​​​​ @anxiousanakin​ @terratori812 @urban-dreams​​​​​​​

Stanley Uris tag-list: @nightbu-g​​​​​​​ @sadhwstudent​​​​​​​ @shawni-h​​​​​​​ @gothackedalready​​​​​​​ @seasidecrowbar​​​​​​​ @starred-river @raspberryacid​​​​​​​ @facelessbish @tozierskaspb​​​​​​​ @plum-duels​​​​​​​ @whereyoustand​​ ​​​​​@kimseungminsgf​​​​​​ @stanstan-the-manman​​

Heaven tag-list: @lovvliies​​​​​ @kaspbrak-uris​​​​​ @happy-at-home​​​​​​ @jars-of–jupiter @violetzendaya @veronicapuff​​​

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

[saja-star]

I have slightly less, but very similar, items in return: 1, 2, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 17, and 38!

Question list here.

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

It’s mostly/all dialogue. The characters get in an argument about something, and during the conversation figure out where the other is coming from and come to some mutual understanding. Plot happens vaguely in the background.

2.  Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I’ve been wanting to write a sickfic. I feel like that’s so suited to Venom, with healing and an awareness of the body being such a big part of things.

5. Share one of your strengths.

I like to think I’m good at humor in dialogue. I can’t like, do it on purpose? But sometimes I’m writing a scene and it just turns into banter and that’s one of my favorite parts of writing.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

From Rescue:

There was a prick of danger as they approached the boy, and they got ready to cover his mouth if he screamed—

They collapsed, writhing on the floor as noise sheared through their flesh like a razor blade, slicing right down to the core of them, to the place where they were connected, and severing it, leaving Venom to drip from Eddie’s shaking body like black blood from a poisoned wound.

The sound cut off. Venom crashed into the silence like falling from a high place into water: one second writhing and helpless and the next floating in noiseless nothing, not sure which way was up.

The warmth of Eddie was jerked away before it could slink back inside. It felt vibrations in the floor—thumping, scuffling—and crawled towards the struggle. There was a spot of bright light—it couldn’t see on its own per se, but it had a vague sense of light and darkness. It barely registered the glow before the light flared into a jet of searing heat. Venom felt its flesh sizzle and pop as it burned away. Slow, agonizing seconds ticked by as it tried to flee and the stream of fire tracked its crawl across the concrete floor. It slowed, too weak to keep moving forward—and then suddenly there was dark and cool, except for the faint burn of the oxygen atmosphere. 

With Rescue, I set myself a challenge to write something that was much more plotty than my usual fics, particularly something with action, and I feel like it turned out pretty well. This scene is a good example of the kind of flowy, stream-of-consciousness style that I ended up leaning on for fight scenes. On the other hand, working from Venom’s perspective I also got to play with its sensory differences and try to write something very tactile, which is always fun.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

From The Inspirational Symbiotic Kissing Lichen:

Eddie stood in the door to the kitchen blinking blearily. "What is that and why is it over our door?"

It is lichen.

"Are you sure? It looks like a piece of tape covered in bits of dirt."

I had a hard time scraping it off the fire escape last night.

Eddie suspected that what Venom had found on the fire escape was a patch of flaking rust, but he kept it to himself. "What happened to the mistletoe?"

I threw it out the window. Mistletoe is a parasite. Why would you celebrate love under a parasitic plant?

"What? Plants can't be parasites."

Can too, Venom said like a first grader. Mistletoe grows roots inside trees and steals their nutrients.

God it was too early in the morning for this. Eddie needed coffee. "It's got leaves. It can eat sunlight. Why would it need to do that?"

Because it is selfish and bad. Are you arguing with Wikipedia?

"No." Eddie sighed as he headed into the kitchen. "So why lichen? Was it the only plant you could find?"

It is not a plant. It is a symbiosis.

"With what, rocks?" Eddie fumbled with the coffee maker.

No, it is a symbiosis. It is algae or bacteria mixed with fungus. And possibly yeast. And possibly another fungus.

"Okay. Fun fact, I guess. Why is it hanging over our door?"

It is a four-way symbiosis, Eddie. It is inspirational. And romantic.

Eddie stopped. "...Are you trying to tell me you want a four-way?"

You are missing the point.

This exchange is, for me, the sweet spot between nerdery and humor and fluff.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Figuring Out, not even close. I wrote it, hated it, came back to it a few weeks later, edited out about a third of what I had written, begrudgingly posted it, and then came back to it a few weeks after that and edited down another third. Still not especially happy with it--I feel like it kinda wanders around without the  coherence that a really short story like that needs. 

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Gestures. I sat down and wrote it in about fifteen minutes without pausing, skimmed back over it for typos, and then posted it. Most fics take me days to draft, and I edit them 3-4 times at a minimum. I have no idea what brain compartment Gestures came from, but the core ideas of it--non-verbal communication, tactile affection, Venom discovering a forgotten instinct for connection--I have rehashed in some form in every fic since.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Almost always from start to finish. I don’t plan a story in advance, so I don’t know where it’s going, so there’s not really a way to skip ahead. That’s not saying much though, since all my fics are real short. There have been a few times that, as I’m falling asleep and a bit of dialogue or whatever just comes to me without context, I’ve typed it out in the notes app of my phone and then, some weeks later while I’m working on some wip, I realize that segment could fit. 

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

From transpeterparker on Venom VS. Technology:

i love this....... i love this so much....... what the fuck............... this Series. Oh My God. fuck me up. i love their relationship i love. i l o v e grbhiefwklsjehvbfiwu

Every review I’ve gotten has made my day! This stands out in my memory because was the first (and maybe still only?) keysmash I’ve had in a review and I know that feeling of reading something and just being at a loss for words with happiness and it was so exciting to see that in a comment on my work.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 5: Last but not Least, let's (finally) meet Group C! (Commentary and Guesses)

Hey fellow Masked Singer fans! Welcome or welcome back to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana, recap every episode of the Masked Singer. I am so happy to be back after a short break after the World Series (thank God for the Dodgers). If you don’t know how these recaps go, first of all hi, feel free to follow me if you want to see more of these. Anyways, so how these work is that I first talk about who gets eliminated, give my thoughts, and then give my guesses and commentary for the remaining contestants and their performances. I also try to back up my guesses as much as I can by using the clues... even though I guide myself with the voice of the individual contestant. Anyways, having said that, let’s jump into it:

Warning ⚠️: If you haven’t watched the show yet, there are spoilers below, so read at your own risk.. this is your official spoiler alert warning. Don’t say I didn’t warn you...

With this episode, we met our last group of contestants, Group C, which consists of 5 masked characters, Squiggly Monster, Mushroom, Jellyfish, Lips, and Broccoli. Overall, to me, they are the weakest group vocal wise, but they were still fun to watch.

Alright, so let’s talk about the eliminated contestant, who was...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Lips 💋

Performance: Alright, so she sang “Native New Yorker,” by Odessy.... and I really try to be as kind and constructive as I can with these recaps especially when critiquing their performances because being rude really doesn’t solve anything and I want you guys to understand why I don’t like a performance if I dislike a performance (so we can start an open dialogue you get me?) ... but I am so sorry, this lady can’t sing like at all. Oh and I knew exactly who she was (haha insert Ken’s voice into that phrase lol) the moment she opened her mouth. The thing is she is talking and she messed up in the middle by laughing/snorting in the performance, it was kind of hilarious not gonna lie... it made me laugh, which I guess is a good thing, but like yeah it’s kind of obvious why she left first, because she (I mean no offense to this.. well maybe I do because I am not a fan of the person under this mask like at all since she ain’t kind and civil like at all) blew it, like it kinda felt like she messed up on purpose or that she is actually horrible at singing, which is ok because she isn’t supposed to be a professional singer and that’s fine. All that to say Lips made me laugh and I appreciate it but I am kind of glad she was the first one to go....

Anyways, she was revealed to be (to no surprise of my own) controversial talk show host...

Wendy Williams

Whoop whoop, I got it right (as did like everyone who knows who she is because her voice is that distinct... oh and also she spoke during the song so it was kind of obvious, but I am still claiming my victory: Gotten 3/5 correct so far and I am proud of that number)! Anyways here are the clues that pointed to her:

Shock= she says very shocking things on her show and is a pretty polarizing figure, you either love her or hate her (I am not fond of her myself but whatever I guess)

“Speak my truth”= she’s known for stating her mind and is unfiltered with her thoughts on things

West Wing= her initials WW

Fire= Hot Takes is a segment on her show and also a reference to her book Wendy’s Got The Heat

Alright, now that we have finished with her, let’s talk about our remaining 4 masked contestants:

1. Squiggly Monster 👾

Performance: I really liked his performance of Have You Ever Seen the Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival. He did super well, like I really liked it, I had low expectations because of the costume (it’s kind of creepy looking ngl) but I was pleasantly surprised. Having said that, the moment I heard him, because of his tone, I knew exactly who it was (again insert Ken’s voice here)...

So, for my guess, I think it is Full House actor/comedian:

Bob Saget

Ok, so besides the voice, lemme give you why I think that clues wise (credit goes to this Screen Rant article for the details idk on my own):

Penguin visual in the package= he directed a parody nature documentary called Farce of the Penguins

Father and a scoundrel= father part due to him actually being a father to 3 girls/his role on Full House as Danny Tanner (a single father of 3 daughters which I think is wow funny) and the scoundrel part referring to his raunchy/dirty comedy

Cookie clues= nod to Michelle from Full House and her love of cookies

“Breaking News” and him on a news show kind of thing= reference to his Full House character Danny Tanner being an anchor for Good Morning San Francisco

He also was on the show as a shrimp cocktail as the friend for the Taco aka Tom Bergeron! So it makes sense for him to come back this season which I am all into

2. Mushroom 🍄

Performance: Ok, so this is like the most confusing, is it a he or is it a she? That’s the biggest question, my money’s on a boy... so my guess is going to be male (I am gonna call Mushroom a he because of that so I apologize if I am misgendering them, I just need to narrow it down somehow and I am gendering them based on who I think it is, and I feel like he is the correct pronoun). Anyways, I love him, he’s my favorite Group C contestant, and his performance of This Woman’s Work was amazing, people said it was not good, but I really enjoyed it because I am a sucker for a good falsetto and this guy was almost all falsetto, I was feeling it. Having said that, maybe I like him so much because I feel like it is someone I adore, like if I meet him, I will faint status...

Having said that, I think it is Broadway star, heartthrob, actor, singer, adorable human...

Jordan Fisher

Omg he is so cute... sorry I am gonna stop being 😍 for him I promise. Anyways, big clue was a video of him singing this exact song (I think it sounds so similar, but you guys can judge for yourselves), here it is: https://youtu.be/3lzRsMl8M8Q

Apart from that, here are some actual clues (with a bit of help from this Screen Rant article) that got my mind thinking it is him:

WAITTT 🤔... before we get into that, what I found interesting is that he tweeted and I quote “Seasonal tweet to let everyone know that ____ on the masked singer is once again not me 💜” and THE MASKED SINGER RETWEETED IT... but also I just checked and this is the first time he’s ever had to clear that up... soooo maybe he’s a liar (bc of an NDA ofc you cannot really spill the beans.... but let’s go with he’s a liar)... a cute liar... but he’s lying.

Ok, now onto the clues:

A lot of Hamilton clues= “a healer and a scholar,” “young, scrappy, and fun-gy,” “shroom where it happens” = he replaced Anthony Ramos as John Laurens/Philip Hamilton in the Broadway musical Hamilton (and also can reference his Broadway roots in general like being on Dear Evan Hansen)

Started at a “rat race” and Men in Black were mice= could be a reference to his start on Disney (Liv and Maddie and Teen Beach Movie)

A shot to turn a hobby into a career= reference to him streaming video games on Twitch

Stars clue with audience= he won Dancing with the Stars back in 2017 and also hosted DWTS Junior

3. Jellyfish 💚

Performance: I really liked her performance of Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie even though I felt like she was holding back a bit (I can kind of say the same about Mushroom... but I still enjoyed it). I am really curious to see what she can really do, because I felt her nerves in the performance and like she can do more. This one’s killing me because I feel like I have heard that voice but I can’t put my finger on who it could be

So, with that said, I have no idea who to guess:

But I do know that it isn’t ✨Billie Elish✨

No, but like seriously, that ain’t Billie Elish even tho a lot of people are guessing it, I am not buying it... you’ll see why in a second, here are the clues:

The Little(ish) Jellyfish title on a book

Reigned supreme in an underwater kingdom

Fans, Tiara (“princess”)

Angel Fish

Flower Crown

Missed out on normal girl stuff like parties and making friends

Billie Elish “Bad Guy” lyrics in the background= that’s way too obvious for it to be Billie Elish

4. Broccoli 🥦

Performance: His performance of House is Rockin’/Whole Lotta Shakin Going On by Stevie Ray Vaughan/Jerry Lee Lewis was not what I expected to be honest. I thought it was going to be someone younger or a rapper, but it was an older gentlemen, and he was rockin, not gonna lie. I really liked it, not my favorite though I don’t think he is bad by any means. Anyways, I feel like I know who it is... maybe I am getting this from another person on YT’s guess who I really liked (Shoutout to them idk their user sorry)

So, for my guess for the Broccoli, I think it is legendary singer...

Paul Anka

The reason why is because of the following clues:

Can of Soup= he won a Campell’s Soup competition and that jump started his career

Tik Tok reference= his song Put Your Head on My Shoulder went viral on Tik Tok

Also, the letterman jacket is very 60s which is his era I guess (my mom knows more ab it than I do)

Anyways, that’s it, guys! I hope you enjoyed this recap, I apologize for how long they are, it’s kind of my thing lol! Don’t forget to comment your guesses (do you agree with me? Disagree? I wanna know below... especially Jellyfish guesses bc I have no idea who she can be), like, and follow for more Masked Singer content. I’ll see you all next week for the Group C Playoffs! Bye guys! 👋🏼

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Paper Mouth, Opera Game, Beautiful Place | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

This is December 5th Rachel here to tell you this has been sitting in my drafts since the prehistoric era and we boutta update on three chapters of Moth Work *cracks knuckles*. 

First, let’s start with chapter seven of the book, AKA Paper Mouth.

I wrote Paper Mouth back in August, and while I drafted it (over a few writing sprints), I was happy with it, but eventually realized I actually... didn’t like her, lol. Though objectively this chapter ain’t my fave, it does establish a very! important! thing! And that’s my shiny new gal, Eliza.

So, if anyone remembers from previous updates, I conceptualized most of MOTH WORK back in January when I was *stressed* at the end of a semester and needed a *break*. During this period of brainstorming where the whole photograph plot formed, I characterized a woman (the woman in the picture) who I knew would be central to the book. I knew I wanted to name her Eliza, I knew what she looked like, and had a loose backstory outlined for her, buuuuut… I started drifting from the photograph plot (it was only meant to be a booster) and without the photograph plot, I didn't have a reason to include her. So I thought I’d actually cut her involvement in the book way down from about 30-50% to 2%.

This changed however, when I added Lonan’s POV to the book (what I’m writing at the moment). Because I was in his head, I quickly realized how important finding this woman (someone who had a previous affair with his father [TEA]) would be to him. 

This is how we end up at Paper Mouth!

The chapter is almost a direct continuation of the last, and starts out as follows:

Scene A:

Lonan makes a phone call to Eliza from a phone booth. They’ve never met, she like new phone who dis, but after an off-screen explanation, we jump into scene two. 

Scene B:

This scene covers the two meeting for the first time outside of a diner. Lonan got dat brooding hoodie energy, and Eliza has tattoo-artist but also your mom friend energy, and we love the dynamic already! From here, she offers to buy Lonan a milkshake as an incentive to speak with him. Me too sis, me too. 

Scene C:

They chat, until Lonan moves the conversation to his father. Things go downhill lol, Lonan gets overwhelmed and heads outside to leave, despite having no way home, but is followed by Eliza. They have a convo that gets heated about his father, tho this sort of veers off abruptly my bad.

I honestly don’t love anything enough to share from this chapter, so let’s move on to the next!

EDIT: y’all this is the second edit I’ve made in this post because guess who forgot chapter 8 existed.

Opera Game took me so long to write, I forgot it existed! I either started it at the end of August, or the beginning of September--it took so long I’m pretty sure I only finished it in November, lol. 

Scene A:

We get more Lonan + Eliza time as Eliza pulls a Fostered book three and stitches up Lonan’s busted face

This goes wrong very quickly when Lonan keeps bringing up the fact that he thinks she’s spooked because he has his dead father’s (AKA her ex’s) eyes. 

Scene B:

We have din din with Eliza + Lonan and she gifts him back his mother’s ring (at last, the OG plot) that she may or may not have had wrapped for months to give back to his dad (yikers). << this causes some minor problems lol

Scene C:

Lonan and Eliza share a cigarette on her apartment’s balcony. They’re supposed to be just friends but let’s just say apparently I cannot write those (see Darren and Reeve lmfaooo).

The end of this chapter was so fun to write. Take with that what you will! I put Nothing But Thieves’ cover of Love You Should’ve Come Over on repeat to write scene C. Take with that! What! You! Will! ;)

And now for excerpts! Sharing this because of the word guileless:

Eliza looks like a girl. She’s a girl with too many tattoos bartered for free in college, convenience store lipstick she bought from the clearance section, a haircut she found in her mother’s mail-order catalogue, rings hand-bent from an age 12+ kit. She cries like a girl, and sits like a girl and wipes her face like a girl, and he sees the same thing in her that he sees in himself—something guileless, something see-through. 

I don’t usually share dialogue, but here is some dialogue from scene B:

“Should I have gotten something different?”

“This is fine.”

“They had chili chicken too. General Tso’s. I should’ve followed my gut.”

“This is fine.”

“There’s even an Italian place just a block over. I forgot about the Italian place.”

“This is fine, Eliza.”

And now, a very on brand excerpt ft. dead bodies:

He can’t remember why his mother died, or when, or why she’s more of a mother than his own mother. He only wants to visit her. Slip the ring back on her finger. She would smell like peaches, hibiscus, almost chlorinated, embalmed, absently pretty, not because she wasn’t beautiful, but because her body would be empty. 

EDIT (again): hi y’all it’s been a month since I drafted this, and so here we go with yet another chapter update because I refuse to do schoolwork! 

Beautiful Place is chapter nine of Moth Work, and is chock full of all the tea you’ve ever wanted! Watch Rachel take a pure friendship and make it *not* because that’s her #1 talent! Pure friendship? lol you THOUGHT.

I wrote this chapter over the course of my reading break. @sarahkelsiwrites​ and I went out to a coffee shop and did a few writing sprints, where a majority of this chapter was birthed. 

After Opera Game, I was a bit stuck with this book. I needed a chapter that shoved Eliza and Lonan closer together, but couldn’t figure out exactly how to go about this. I’d semi established a semi friendship between Lonan and Eliza, but wasn’t fully understanding how they’d go from “lol ur my dad’s ex” to “buds? hi!” to “lol ur my ex” and I toyed around with a lot of ideas in my head before I accidentally stumbled into the scene that defines the entire chapter.

Scene A:

All you need to know is Lonan is chillin’ on Eliza’s couch, she’s making some good ol’ french toast, and then tells him she wants to take him to a “good place” and he’s like ok)

Scene B:

Eliza’s place is a cove she found a while back with someone I cannot name because of spoilers (just know that this definitely changes Lonan’s opinion of being there)

When he asks her about the person who she found the place with, she gets *shady*, he gets *extra*, there is *tea*

Here is an excerpt ft. my most overused verb: starbursting (why)!

“You like the beach?” Eliza turns off the car engine, checks her lipstick in the rear-view.

“Just the water.”

“But not the beach?”

“I like the water.”

They get out of the car together, and Eliza’s sundress catches in the rain. The cotton is patterned with palm leaves, birds the size of his pinkie, and it whirls around her in the wind. He doesn’t ask why the good place is the beachfront, or what’s so good about it. He doesn’t shake her hand off when she takes it and leads him toward the sand. Eliza moves around amber driftwood and rubbery kelp like this isn’t an obstacle course but a regular commute. Her hair blows out of her face, starbursting like a halo. She says something about coming here when the Vegas lights blocked the stars. That it’s magical at night, it’s intoxicating, it’s spellbinding, and all of these words remind him more of his sister than sand, than waves. 

Here’s a description of the beautiful place ooooh:

The first thing he notices is the light. It’s only the sun reflecting off the stone, but he sees constellations, jittering like they’re both submerged in water. Bits of gold catch in Eliza’s hair and the peaks of the waves, and it’s the cove he notices next. They stand in the centre of it, the stone arched over a spread of water, lapping inches from their feet. It’s like being enclosed in a snowglobe, a private hemisphere of light, water, stone, sand. A resurrection. 

And here lies tea:

Eliza is spreading out a picnic blanket while Lonan kneels toward the water. He punctures the current, and lets it stream between his fingers. Even in his hands, the water is gold.

“A friend and I found it,” she says, as water drips into his palm, down his wrist. “I said it was magical.”

“Was it my father?” he picks up a clump of sand, lets it disintegrate back down.

When Eliza says nothing, he turns back to look at her. She’s rummaging through the picnic basket, humming something under her breath, fixing the corner of the blanket.

“Eliza?”

She looks at him, and then back down, glasses clinking. She pulls out two jars—one  orange, one pink. “Which do you prefer—marmalade or strawberry?” She digs through the basket, pulls out another jar, olive coloured, speckled with reds, yellows. “Or tapenade?”

“Eliza,” he says, wringing out his hand as he rises. “Was it my father?”

“I brought red wine, too. Do you drink?”

Lonan approaches, and crouches at the edge of the picnic basket. He plays with the hem, smooths his fingers over the metallic underbelly, the fleecy plaid pattern on the good side.

When she pulls out the wine bottle, he reaches over and places his hand on the neck. Their fingers brush when he secures his palm around it. When she doesn’t look at him, he moves his hand over until it covers hers.

“The friend you found this place with,” he says. “Was that my father?”

Eliza tightens her grip around the wine bottle and pulls it back, placing it into the picnic basket. Her sigh trembles, vibrato like a flute, an opera singer. She smooths her hair back, once, twice. “It’s shiraz. My mother sent it from Italy.”

And at last, I call this: Kind of A Wild Thing to Do But Pop Off I Guess:

On her pulse sits a tattoo of a single crow’s eye, and Lonan traces it with the tip of his fingernail. He touches down, to the dagger following the vein on her forearm, and when he reaches the golden cherub an inch from her elbow, leans down and kisses its head.

Aaaand, what a fun way to end this update!

I’m not sure if I’ll get another update up before the new year, but let’s cross our fingers! If not, here’s to 2020! Let’s finish these books y’all. 

--Rachel

[stoplookingupforheaven]

Glory

a piece inspired by bastille’s glory music video. the italicized dialogue is taken from that video and is not mine.

special thanks to everyone who helped me figure out how the hell to format this and how the “keep reading” function works on tumblr. i love you lot.

If tonight had a soundtrack, she decides, it would have to include a cello. Cello tones, hovering under the industrial sounds of the airport. Cello tones, long, low, and slow, to balance out the quick, bright flashes of silver and red and blue on the planes that take off overhead.

The whole scene feels like exhaling a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Sunday night. Airport grounds. A sky bruising purple-brown. The heat of the car’s hood. Passing the paper bag back and forth. The tiny, musical crash of the drops inside the bottle as it moves between them.

“What about when you were driving?”

“Yeah, you lost your phone.”

It had been in a fit of daring, an instant when Friday overtook his mostly-rational mind, and he’d dropped his phone out the passenger window. The sky was steel-gray and heavy with thunderclouds, the air oddly still despite the pre-storm breeze that rippled across the fields they were driving past. She hadn’t heard the smack of plastic on asphalt. She didn’t see how the screen cracked on impact, a spiderweb of lines criss-crossing it as they shot down the road. They’d laughed about it, said no one could find them now.

“And that weird dive bar we found…”

It was tiny, dark inside. He played pool with strangers. She danced alone. The atmosphere faded from pale blue to glowing red, as night fell outside and all thoughts of tomorrow were wiped from her brain.

“When you were dancing on the table, with that blonde wig-”

“It was pink!”

She snickers, knocking her leg lightly against his, relishing the slow buzz that runs through her body when he reciprocates the gesture. Cello tones, she thinks.

“You nicked that car.”

“I borrowed that car.”

They hadn’t bothered to stick around and find out whose it was, driving through the night instead to God knows where. They talked about nothing and everything - water, winter, warmth, how the world felt so wild, like it had gone mad and there wasn’t really a whole lot they could do about it. She let the breeze slip around her arm as she reached out, watching the lights play on the back of her hand, lonely orange and inky-blue.

“You ran into that lake with your clothes on.”

“It was someone’s pool, and you were supposed to come with me!”

It was a summery kind of cold, and he’d engulfed her in a bear hug afterwards, water streaming off of him and onto her, raising goosebumps on her arms. They were stuck in a bubble where time didn’t quite exist, where minutes stretched into hours and days collapsed into seconds. Where you were conscious of the world moving around you but you couldn’t - or maybe didn’t want to - move out to join it. Where gray skies meant warmth and not sadness, and green hills covered in flowers felt old and not new.

But there’s a glitch in the scene, and she can’t quite put her finger on it. There’s a disconnect in their narrative, something that should overlap but doesn’t. Some small detail, just a word or two-

She ignores it, because this is memory, and therefore the story is shaped by the person telling it. The cello melody is back, twisting around her head.

“What about those two guys that wanted a fight?”

“Oh they were fine, they just wanted to dance…”

How small she’d felt! But despite their unsmiling expressions, they really had just wanted to dance. And so she danced. It was an odd dance, but it was dancing. The tips of her shoes had moved over the concrete floor. Dancing with strangers was not something she normally did, but then again, nothing about anything felt normal anymore.

“You dared me to run through that couple’s house…”

The recklessness of youth is always easier to bear when someone else is made to suffer with you, she’d decided. It eased the thrill, spread the high out just enough so that the body did not completely succumb to the rush of adrenaline, so the mind was not overwhelmed by fear and bliss all at once. The house was aggressively mundane - beige walls, landscape paintings, area rugs over hardwood floors - and it felt hostile, like it didn’t want to accept the misfit of a young adult that she was. Like little kids, she’d dragged him through the living room, hand in hand, barely registering the shock on the couple’s face so much as-

“And the old guy had a gun!”

“What?”

He laughs, and she does too, and she misses the same feeling of a mismatch in the back of her mind. It fades away before she realizes anything’s out of place. Another red-and-chrome body soars over their heads. She thinks yet again of the sound of a cello.

“You didn’t want to dance in that class.”

“What are you on about? I totally outdanced you.”

They’d stopped in a town somewhere between the Midwest and the West, the kind of place where it was perpetually mid-afternoon and no one dared disturb the feeling. It looked like every place she’d ever been, and nothing like anything she’d ever seen. It was unique, and it was stereotypical, and it was too perfect, as though someone had set it up with the perfect small-town main street in mind and hit the mark a little too well. She’d laughed as he did toe taps and flailed his arms in time with the rest of the class. She’d danced away the memories of signs on the edge of town, signs that called for glory and heaven, two things that she felt were better left not chased.

“You slept through all the good bits.”

She’ll never know if that’s true, but she does know that she propped her feet up on the dash of the car, and dreamed. She dreamed of golden hours, Ferris wheels, old cars, kidnappings, and oceans. Rain pattered on the windshield. Inside the car it was dark, and the dim interior wrapped around her like a blanket, the evening stretching on into perpetuity. Was it evening? She didn’t know. But the old car held her and she sank into its embrace.

“Why steal such a shit car?”

“It’s a classic!”

She’d leapt in regardless. He’d adjusted his baseball cap (was that there before?) and they left, chasing the sun. Or maybe the night.

Whatever the car was, it had held up every mile, against all odds, past farms and fields and trees, the gray exterior blurring with the road beneath and the sky above until the car - and its occupants - were  a part of the landscape, instead of simply passing through. And they’d stopped it as the sun set, sitting on the curb at a rest stop and watching-

“That weird sky was full of pinks.”

It was unreal. There was no adjective in any language she knew that could begin to capture what that sky was like. The clouds were a child’s Photoshop project, purple and yellow and even green, dancing across a sky that darkened from pale salmon to something resembling wisteria - if wisteria could feel haunting and cozy all at the same time.

“I remember it being all yellow.”

There it is again - that flashing instant where something is not quite right, where there’s some odd catch in the world’s fabric. She tries to catch hold of the feeling, to make sense of it, because she wants to fix it. She wants to correct the mistake - for surely it is only a simple mistake - and mend the perfect seam she’s been stitching out of pictures and sounds. But it’s too fleeting, too fragile, and the feeling slips away like water through her fingers, melting into the perfect scenes she’s remembering. In her head, the cello plays on, the music writing itself without her aid.

“I beat you to the top of that mountain.”

“Pretty sure you didn’t.”

It was the only time she could clearly remember something and definitively call it pain: the burning in her lungs as she scrambled towards the top, the aching in her limbs as they stumbled back down. It hadn’t even been that much of a mountain. She wasn’t sure why she’d called it that. It was a mound of woodchips in a lot somewhere. But the only word that her lips could form to describe it was “mountain,” as if the world was telling her that she had to make it fit this narrative, which was feeling increasingly as if it didn’t fully belong to her, because who really recalled details like these? Vivid colors, but not complete pictures. Trains of thought inspired by a journey, but not the trip itself.

But he’d wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they walked away, and she’d forgotten the pain.

The rest of it is just flashes. Stoplights glowing through the rain and the windshield wipers. His fingers running through his hair. The young man dancing in a parking lot. Roads that wound through mounds of rocks. A burned road sign of overlapping triangles. She’d mentioned that it felt ominous, but he’d told her it was probably her imagination. The smile on his face when he spun her on the dance floor.

And this corner of the night. The middle of this airport service road she’s not sure how they got onto. Planes overhead, and lights in the sky, and his arm thrown around her shoulders.

It feels right, and that’s what makes it feel wrong.

“You tell it differently every time.”

“Well, I like my version better.”

She wants to look him in the eye as he says this, but her head won’t turn. She wonders why she said “every time.” They’ve never spoken about these memories before - have they?

She considers thinking about it, but chooses instead to watch the planes leave them behind. After all, it feels right, so she doesn’t worry about it.

In the morning she wakes in her own bed. There is no dive bar, no burned road signs, no weird pink sky. No airplanes. No strange memories. No one but her.

There’s a cello melody in the back of her head, and she’s not sure where it came from.

[grimelords]

There is no limit to how many good songs exist! There are just so many!

My June playlist is finished, and on time too! Please enjoy all manner of bangers from Dave Brubeck, Nelly Furtado and everyone in between.

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Night And Day - Hot Chip: I’ve started a band with some friends and my friend Tiana (who has requested a special shoutout in this playlist and is currently receiving it!) suggested this as a song for us to learn and she was extremely right to do it! It’s extremely funky and probably the most i’ve ever liked Hot Chip because they’ve finally allowed themselves to be emotional and feel the most important emotion of all: horniness.

Infinity Guitars - Sleigh Bells: The other day a friend of mine said ‘hey whatever happened to Sleigh Bells?’ and guess what: they have five albums and continue to release new music as recently as last year. They seem to steadfastly refuse to advance their sound and you’ve got to give them props for that. When nobody else sounds anything like you the smartest thing you can do is double down on your own weird thing. I’ve always loved this song and am totally enamoured by whatever mixing trick it is that enables this song to start loud as fuck and somehow finish even louder no matter what volume you play it at.

Hurricane - Bob Dylan: I haven’t watched the Rolling Thunder Revue thing on Netflix yet but I’m excited to because this is a good Dylan era and I’m always down for more footage of the world’s freak Bobby D acting like a maniac. This song is a good example of how have no control over how music is consumed once you release it because this is ostensibly a serious and angry protest song about a great injustice but my greatest memory of it is for at least a month when I was in boarding school a guy in my dorm would play it every morning super loud and we would all yell the words along as we were getting dressed. Having a great time being fifteen and yelling happily about a miscarriage of justice.

Grindin' - Clipse: I started putting together a playlist of songs with super minimal or no pitched instrumentation that almost totally rely on the percussion and the vocals to carry it. Basically the Pharrell special because he did it on this and Drop It Like It’s Hot and I’m sure more songs of his I haven’t heard yet. But also songs like Lipgloss by Lil Mama, Fix Up Look Sharp by Dizzee Rascal, Tipsy By J-Kwon (almost if it didn’t have the baseline) and The Whisper Song by The Ying Yang Twins. There’s heaps more I’m sure. It was a real minimal style for a little while in the mid 2000s and I think it’s great. It gives you so much space in the mix and it’s a great lesson: if the beat is hot enough and you’ve got enough charisma to carry the vocal you don’t need anything else at all.

Rock Lobster - The B-52's: Did you know the guitar in this is tuned CFFFFF? Did you know this song is nearly 7 minutes long? Did you know The B-52s had a hit with this and then didn’t have another hit until Love Shack fully ten years later? Truly everything about this song is insane.

Johnny Irony - Bad//Dreems: I think ‘are you bleeding?’ is my favourite bit of pre-song hot mic dialogue i’ve ever heard. I love the energy of this song, and what a fun throwback it is to I guess reference Lead Belly’s ancient song about doing cocaine Take A Whiff On Me for a new modern twist on a song about doing cocaine.

Girls On Film - Duran Duran: Have you ever noticed how the bass in this song is absolutely popping off? It rocks. I listened to just the isolated bass track on youtube the other day and it’s my new favourite song. I’m having a big moment with this early eighties art-funk thing where someone figured out you could put huge funky basslines into rock music and completely changed the game.  

Love - Lana Del Rey: I figured out this month that my vocal range seems to be just Lana Del Rey but an octave lower which is absolutely great news for anyone that wants to hear me sing this song in a cowboy voice in my car.

Want You In My Room - Carly Rae Jepsen: I am absolutely in love with this song and also absolutely furious at it. Absolutely in love with the way it’s written like a duet with herself, trading lines and overlapping and harmonising. The big ascending guitar line that leads into the chorus. I love how horny the lyrics are, I love the very 80s robot voice in the chorus who also wants to fuck. It’s just phenomenal, which brings me to the the think that makes me so furious: this song just fades out? After the second chorus just as the saxophone comes in? Just as it’s getting good???

Genevieve (Unfinished) - Jai Paul: It's just unbelievable how good this sounds. The bass sound. The way the whole mix seems to float around. The cuts to silence that feel like someone took a razor randomly to the master. It all culminates in this frenetic nervous energy that feels like the song could just fall apart and stop at any point. And it does! It just fades to silence and then comes back in as a totally different song near the end before fading away again.

Elephant Talk - King Crimson: King Crimson is on Spotify now and I’m comically striking them off my list of Bands I Have A Grudge Against For Not Being On Spotify. It’s always kind of surprised me that for someone who loved The Mars Volta as much as I did I never really had a big King Crimson phase. I always liked them fine, and I love this song, but I never really sat down and gave them a proper listen. Maybe now they’re on streaming that’s all about to change and my girlfriend will have to suffer accordingly.

Kids In The Dark - Bat For Lashes: Very excited for Bat For Lashes next album if this is an indication of the direction. She's always had a very hazy 80s feeling, so purposefully leaning into it is only going to be great.

CHORDS For Organ - Ellen Arkbro: My favourite lady is back with 15 minutes of rock solid chords. Something I've been thinking recently in regards to Ellen Arkbro and Holly Herndon is people who make pretentious art unpretentiously, truly believing in their process and outcomes but very aware  of and fine with the fact that it's silly, useless or unlistenable to anyone who's not interested. Ellen Arkbro posted a photo of an organ on instagram the other day and wrote "turned out this was one of the biggest instruments in berlin and it was also connected up to two other organs in the same space. Despite that I ended up playing an extremely quiet version of my music. I don't really know how that happened. I will play a louder version in st giles cripple gate in london this saturday if you're around" She posts like Courtney Barnett about her experimental organ drone music, I just love it. As for the music itself I don't really know how to explain this other than if you let it it can be extremely overwhelming. It's also the closest I've come musically to Malevich's Black Square and how I feel about that, which is hard to explain properly other that to say I love it.

SWIM - Holly Herndon: I'm obsessed with this Holly Herndon album. It's just amazing though I think the marketing and a lot of the writing about it is sort of.. misleading? There's a lot of emphasis being put on the machine learning and AI aspects of it, which as undoubtedly good and cool as they are, are sort of overshadowing what's so good about this in a simple way which is that it's just choral music for the future. It feels like it reaches so far back and so far forward at the same time it's incredible.

Too Real/Television Screens - Fontaines D.C.: I really had to stop myself from putting the whole Fontaines DC album on here because quite literally every single song on this is amazing. Just when you think guitar music is well and truly dead it pulls you back in!! Also the way he says 'aaa' at the start of Too Real just absolutely kills me.

Dangerous Match Ten - Scientist: I forget where I read it but some bass player was saying she learned to play by listening to Scientist albums, and so that made me listen to Scientist for the first time and go on a long dub trail and have a very good and dangerous day where I thought “..what if I become a dub guy?”. It’s very good. I don’t know anything about dub really, we don’t really have the jamaican population here for it to have any cultural currency like it does in america and the UK so my biggest exposure is the Dub radio station from GTA III and San Andreas which I’m now learning was mostly made up of Scientist songs anyway. Anyway dub is good, please keep an eye one me and watch as this playlist evolves into me becoming an evangelical dub guy over the next few months and start calling everyone m’brethren in a racist way.

Lipitor - Longmont Potion Castle: Lipitor. This is unfortunately unavailable on Australian spotify which is a crime but if you're from anywhere else please enjoy.

A Lot’s Gonna Change/ Andromeda - Weyes Blood: I am having such a time with this Weyes Blood album. Yesterday I spent all day playing A Lot’s Gonna Change over and over and over and today I spent all day listening to Andromeda over and over and learning how to play it. I suspect this will happen to me with the entire album, it has a complete hold over me.

I’ve listened to Weyes Blood before and she’s never really grabbed me and so it took a lot of people rhapsodising about this one to get me to give it a go and I’m so glad I finally did. This album really took me by surprise, and looking back now I love the development of her sound: from her original spacy noisy thing to the bonafide soft rock of Front Row Seat To Earth to this - an expensive sounding 70s singer songwriter pop album of absolutely devastating beauty and inventiveness.

Wasting My Young Years - London Grammar: I think what's so interesting about this song is that it sounds like an acoustic cover of a trance song. I don't really know how to explain it better than that. The way the deceptively fast four on the floor drums come in, the sort of adult-contemporary The XX instrumentation, the whole structure of it, it feels like a BBC Live Lounge cover of some forgotten rave classic. I love it regardless but it's an odd song as well.

Left Hand - Beast Coast: Beast Coast is lames and I didn't make it more that halfway through the album. On the fourth song there's a verse where one of these guys is doing that rap thing of talking way to graphically about eating pussy. He says lick lick lick it's gross. Anyway this song rocks though. The beat is that perfect mix of hard as hell and a little bit spooky and I love any song where one million guys do like four lines each.

Hung Up - Madonna: In the wake of not listening to Madame X I've been reflecting on how it's been 15 years since Madonna's last true banger, Hung Up, and in my opinion she's a legend forever for this song alone. Do you remember the Madonna x Gorillaz performance at the 2006 Grammys? Where she walked BEHIND the hologram? She still has so much to teach us. 

Never Fight A Man With A Perm - IDLES: I love just how purely sweaty man muscle this song is. 'concrete to leather' are you kidding me?? That's the coolest shit I've ever heard. 'You look like you're from Love Island' also quite good.

Speakers Going Hammer - Soulja Boy: I was listening to this the other day and had to keep stopping and rewinding because of how advanced the flow is when he says 'Style swift hot like it's July 10th/Fly chick in my whip with nice tits/Her boyfriend paid for it, I didn't" he's like five minutes in front of the beat and combined with the internal assonance it just sounds sick as hell.

African Woman - Ebo Taylor: Man goes ham on toy piano must see

(I’m Not Your) Stepping Stone - The Monkees: My friend Tiana (who I've mentioned twice now!) came to band practice and said she saw The Monkees last night. I thought no, that's impossible. The Monkees are all long dead, forgotten legends from a forgotten age. BUT I was wrong! Michael Nesmith and Micky Dolenz, the surviving Monkees tour to this day! And she introduced me to this great song which we learned for the band! Monkees forever!

Whoo! Alright! Yeah! .. Uh Huh - The Rapture: Somehow as time goes on this song becomes more and more important to me and more and more groovy.I used to think life’s a bitter pill but it’s a grand old time. Now that’s wisdom.

World Of Stone/Loinclothing - Hunters And Collectors: I've been getting very heavily into early Hunters And Collectors over the last couple of months.  I think I put Loinclothing on last months playlist as well but fuck it, it's great. It's so primal and raw it feels like the first caveman who learned to talk fronting a band of cavemen who sing songs about caveman issues and passion. I love the incredibly wide open sound the drums and bass have and the fidgety guitar combined with the unhinged vocals creates this really unique ambience of menace and power without ever getting particularly busy and losing the spaciousness. Feels like yelling about monkeys on a wide open desert plain.

Coisa No. 10 - Marcello Gonçalves and Anat Cohen: I found this song ages ago on ABC Jazz I think, and I absolutely love the intricacies of it. It twists and folds in on itself over and over and over without ever losing the groove or relaxing into anything easy. There's so much tension in it even though the melody and groove are so fun, it's a great mix. I also found out it's from an album that's a tribute to someone I'd never heard of before named Moacir Santos, so I got the great joy of discovering his music via this song as well.

Monologue/Nana - Moacir Santos: Moacis Santos, as I understand it, was one of Henry Mancini's film composition assistants and also the guy that taught all the Boss Nova geniuses like Sergio Mendes. I love this Monologue where he tells the story of a mystical vision that inspired this song, which you assume being inspired by a vision would be of mythical importance and weight and but instead sounds like the theme to a cartoon about a grandma who has superpowers.

Weird People - Little Mix: I need more info about the identity of the robot voice in this song. What is his relationship to the singer. He starts off antagonistic: “get off the wall” then commenting on what happened to her: “fell off the wall” then just echoing her: “on the other side” then becoming her “i’m living my life”. It’s complicated and hard to explain but I believe the robot voice in this song is god. Anyway this song is a masterpiece. It’s an incredibly goofy and great piece of 80s revival that imagines a glorious alternate future where Oh Yeah by Yello is the template for all pop music.

3 Legged Dog - Marisa Anderson: Marisa Anderson used to write songs with words here and there among her instrumentals but it seems that over the last couple of albums she’s decided to stick to instrumentals only which I think is a shame. She’s obviously brilliant at it but I’d hate to be missing out on beautiful little slices like this. I love how small time this song is, it feels like a song you’d sing to yourself more than a song for anyone else.

Nighttime Suite - Adam Gnade & Demetrius Francisco Antuña: Adam Gnade is a guy I’ve been following for about ten years now who seems determined to stay obscure. He self-releases all his stuff in limited editions or on cassettes, some of my favourite things he’s ever done don’t seem to be available anywhere digitally any more (if they ever were). I remember years ago he seemed hard up for cash and he ran a deal on his website called a ‘lifetime subscription’ where if you sent him I think $100 he would send you everything he’s ever done AND would continue to send you everything he made in the future for the rest of his life. It was absolutely great, I would get CD-Rs and tapes and zines and things delivered randomly to my mailbox every so often for a couple of years and they were all fantastic. I guess at some point my lifetime subscription lapsed because he’s released a bunch of stuff I haven’t heard or read but that’s ok, you shouldn’t be able to buy someone’s eternal soul for $100.

Adam Gnade has developed his own style of folk music where he just recites a sort of prose poetry over music and it’s incredible. In the hands of anyone else it could feel overly pretentious, and he pretty often rides that line. He’s reaching for a sort of poet laureate of Americana ideal but very often he actually grabs it. His writing is great and magnifies the minor details of normal life into larger symptoms of the American mindset, like depression-era songs of marginalised and exploited people individualised and updated for the modern era. Most of the time he backs himself on a lazily strummed guitar or banjo and his music sounds like sitting on the front step or laying down in the tall grass, but for this song he’s teamed up with Demetrius Francisco Antuña for some real Godspeed feeling dark soundscapes and it’s really something.

We Are The Same - Lurch And Chief: I think it's a damn shame that Lurch And Chief broke up before they even put an album out because this song is a damn classic and I have begun praying every day for the return of Lurch and/or Chief. I love a big voice and there's two distinctly huge voices in this song fighting for position.

983/Near DT, MI - Black Midi: Fucking hell I love this Black Midi album. I'm so, so glad it exists. It feels like the next generation of the Slint Hella, Tera Melos etc lineage of math rock and I simply can't get enough of it. Pump it directly into my veins I'm obsessed with it.

Take Control - Amerie: I just screamed out loud in my car hearing this song for the first time because it samples Jimmy, Renda Se by Tom Zé one of my absolute favourite songs ever. And samples it amazingly, totally transforms it into something new while keeping the spirit of the original. Do you ever feel like a song was just made for you personally? It’s a very kind thing of my vlogger wife Amerie to do for me but I guess that’s just how she is. Also, thanks to Spotify’s new feature where you can see the actual credits for songs I got to find out that Hall And Oates are credited on this because it basically interpolates the the whole verse melody from You Make My Dreams Come True which I didn’t even realise until I looked up why they were credited.

Unsquare Dance - Dave Brubeck: Dave Brubeck's brain is huge. I can't belive it's possible to make 7/4 this funky. How come nobody else ever ripped off this rhythm? It deserves to be a whole genre. I also totally love the piano solo near the end where it turns into like a funky 7/4 stride and then abruply ends with a shave and haircut like it's 1925.

Suddenly - French Vanilla: Get a load of this fucking slice of dance punk that Discover Weekly served me up. I haven't even listened ot the album yet because I just love this song so much I'm stuck on it. Singing "I like the nightlife! I'm in the spotlight!" like you're being hunted with a knife? Incredible. The impromptue glossolalia about halfway through? Incredible. Everything about the saxophone? Incredible

Maneater - Nelly Furtado: There's nothing deft or subtle about Timbaland. Everything he does is just so heavy handed and thick. The drums in this are so straightforward and they sound like garbage cans.. Nothing ever plays at he same time as anything else . It's like a gorilla learned to play and it's absolutely fucking sick. And then the whole rest of the song! His insanely thick buzzy synth lines against the big beautifully stack clean harmonies

I, The Witchfinder - Electric Wizard: I've been getting back into Skyrim because I have a little worm living in my brain and I've discovered a good trick is to turn off the game music and turn on Electric Wizard instead. It increases the ambience because it feels like if you did an x-ray of the Dragonborn's head this is all that would be in there. It's just stoner metal in there and no other thoughts.

Music Sounds Better With You - Stardust: Can you believe how lucky we are to live in a world where the greatest song ever written is finally available on spotify? You can just listen to this any time of the night or day and immediately improve your life.

Don’t Chew - Spilled Oats: Here’s a very good and underexplored idea: what if guitar music but it sounds like chopped and screwed? Absolutely dynamite.

 As an extra bonus treat here the absolute best ever chopped and screwed channel I’ve found on youtube, please explore Scobed & Robed: https://www.youtube.com/user/scottalexanderburton

listen here