#you get slammed for being ‘disrespectful’ as if they have a real definition of that word either

[cats-in-the-clouds]

it’s important to try very hard to be as patient and understanding and reasonable as possible and i tell myself aw c’mon how hard can it really be to just chill out and be nice? but every now and it hits me again how we’re all being subjected to a mass gaslighting campaign and then i’m like ah that’s why i’m exhausted deep in my soul all the time. i’m being made to think i’m utterly insane for wanting words to have actual meanings so maybe that makes me a bit cranky y’know

[jerseyshoresy]

I Pucking Love You

ANGST, FLUFF

Request for @laserotters ! Reader joins beer league hockey team--never having played the sport. Reilly and Jonesy lend their support, but will it be enough to impress Coach and capture his heart?

Coach x gn!reader

Warnings: language, some suggestive conversation

"What the fuck was I thinking?"

You muttered under your breath as you heard the slams of bodies against glass, your heart plummeting. This was a beer league, right? Why was everyone being so aggressive right now? You were watching your first game as a real hockey player unfold from the bench, not yet being put on the ice due to being the newest member of the team. You were tense as you fiddled with the laces of your skates, making sure they were tight for whenever you were sent into the game. You hadn't told anyone you were a complete rookie when you eagerly agreed to joined the league, your mouth and heart taking over the reigns when your head should've won the battle to keep you quiet. Instead, you had managed to make a complete fool of yourself in a matter of a few days and screw up the one good thing you had going for you. You took another nervous sip of your beer as your eyes scanned the players' bench, the doorways, the crowd for one person in particular—Coach.

The whole reason why you were here in the first place.

But you didn't know if he was going to show up to play, like he was supposed to, or watch from the sidelines and support you, like you wanted him to, after everything that had transpired yesterday. You wished with all your might that Coach believed in you as much as he once said he did.

Your team coach's voice pulled you out of your daydreams. "Y/n! You're going! Get in there!"

You gulped as you gripped your hockey stick tight, your knuckles pulsating under your gloves.

Here goes nothing.

“We’re looking for players for our beer league hockey team. You in?”

Coach had approached you three weeks ago while you were in MoDean’s, hanging out with your friends Jonesy and Reilly.

You almost choked on your drink in surprise but tried to hide it as quickly as possible. "Who? Me?"

You were a bumbling, lovesick mess when Coach spoke with you, walked near you, or even just looked your way. You'd had the biggest crush on the man for years but never wanted to make a move in case he wasn't over the death of his ex wife, Barb, yet. You would much rather yearn from afar than ever risk disrespecting him on accident. However, your refusal to admit your feelings was causing you to be on edge every time Coach was around, making you an anxious wreck.

"Yes, you," Coach said expectantly. "These two idiots are already signed up but we're looking for more talent. I'd love to get you on the ice if you're available."

"O-oh! Yes, sure! I love hockey," you said, your words tumbling from your throat. "When do we start?"

"Perfect! First game is in three weeks. There's practices Saturday and Sunday afternoons, but they aren't mandatory. It's a beer league so you can rely on any hockey skills you've learned from the past and you'll do fine." He clapped you on the shoulder and you tried your best to not keel over from his warm touch.

"Can't wait to see you in the barn, y/n."

"Right, yes, of course. Sounds great," you said as enthusiastically as possible, Coach giving you a small smile before walking away. Reilly and Jonesy exchanged glances with each other before turning their attention toward you, confused looks on their faces.

"Y/n... you've never played hockey," said Reilly.

"You've never even ice skated. That's, like... unreal for anyone in Letterkenny," Jonesy piped in, Reilly nodding in agreement.

"You guys are making me feel so much better." You rolled your eyes. "Besides, I have a few weeks! I can learn all I need to know, right?"

"Not quite."

"Definitely not."

Your friends' voices merged as they made their wariness at your decision known.

"You guys were great at hockey and you're already on the team. Can't you teach me some moves? We can practice every day from now until the first game. Please?" You gave them your best puppy dog impression but they, surprisingly, weren't moved.

"Why don't you ask Coach to teach you? That way, you two can spend some alone time together." Jonesy wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Then you can finally ask him out," Reilly suggested, making Jonesy high five him.

"Great idea, boys. Y/n can learn some sick moves and get a sweetie. Sounds like a great plan, boys."

"They'll get hockey sticks in both senses of the word, boys."

"Y/n can hit the puck then hit up Coach to fu-"

"Enough!" you exclaimed, embarrassed by what your friends were shamelessly saying in the crowded bar. "I get what you mean. I don't want Coach to know that I'm new to hockey and if I ask him to teach me, my secret is out. Can you guys please just help me out this one time? If I score in my first game, I promise I'll ask Coach out."

"That'll be two scores for y/n in one night, boys!" yelled out Jonesy, Reilly jumping up and down in excitement with his best friend. You finished your drink and paid your tab to Gail, not wanting to waste time at MoDeans any longer. You had hockey equipment to buy.

Your first practice was a total disaster. The simple task of ice skating was proving to be a lot more difficult than you thought, let alone trying to multitask staying upright while watching a puck fly around and doing your best to guard it from your personal trainers. You went home that day completely dejected until you thought of Coach and how happy he would be seeing you score a point. The potential of being the one to make him scream in happiness during the game was a strong incentive for you to return to the rink the next day, ready to give it your all. By the time the first team practice came about at the end of the first week of your private training, you were confident in your abilities to at least skate well enough while wielding your stick. You were competent enough at the sport now to where your teammates thought you hadn't played in a while but were getting back into it slowly but surely.

The second week of your training with Reilly and Jonesy went tons better than your first week and you were actually getting excited for the team practice to better hone your skills. Saturday's team practice was the best you had done, proving you could take a hit from someone without falling over and losing control of the puck. Sunday's practice, though, was one for the books. Coach made an appearance and your heart was hammering through your uniform. He looked so handsome in his hockey gear, a far cry from the suit he usually wore while coaching. You liked seeing this side of him, infinitely more relaxed while playing the game he loved deeply. You were honored when he chose to partner with you for drills but you found it hard to focus on the task at hand every time you spied Coach's muscles bulging from under his sleeves or when his plush lips spoke your name to get your attention. When you did focus on hockey, though, you were able to keep up with Coach's pace and found yourself on the receiving end of many compliments from your friends and teammates alike, igniting a fire inside you to keep working harder. You were dead set on gaining the skills needed to get that puck in the net during the game, if not only as a promise to yourself to finally ask Coach on a date, but as a testament to your dedication to hockey and unwavering determination in the face of a daunting task.

The third and final week of training before the big game had Jonesy, Reilly, and you practicing your abilities to shoot the puck into the net when there were obstacles to maneuver around. They took turns guarding you, as well as the net, successfully blocking you from making a shot all throughout the week, but by the time Friday came around, you had outsmarted and out skated the both of them, smacking the puck into the net and earning cheers and hugs from your closest friends as you celebrated your achievement.

"That's all we can teach you," said Reilly, "now you just have to remember all of this stuff when you're actually playing."

"But we know you'll do great out there. You had the best teachers after all." Jonesy pointed at himself and Reilly while you let out a laugh.

"Thanks for all your help, guys, I really appreciate it. I would've been completely at a loss without your guidance and hockey expertise."

"Hockey expertise? That's my middle name. Actually, according to my birth certificate it's not, but it should be."

Coach's voice boomed from the doorway behind you, making you jump at the unexpected, but very much welcome, visitor. Reilly and Jonesy packed up their gear and made a quick exit, not-so-subtly hinting at you to enjoy your alone time with Coach by making hearts with their hands and kissy faces. Coach was none the wiser at the shenanigans happening behind his back, which you were grateful for.

"So, what was it those boys were teaching you? If you need more help, I'm here to practice if you'd like to join me."

Even with the cold air of the ice rink enveloping you, you felt your face warm at his willingness to spend time with you. You told him what you and the boys were up to earlier and he hummed in approval.

"I like that you're prioritizing scoring. That's a real winner's attitude, I like that about you."

You tried not to let his phrasing get to your head because you needed to keep a clear mind during this practice, but you couldn't help but feel giddy at the fact that Coach complimented you so freely. No one else seemed to get that treatment; did he have feelings for you that ran deeper than friendship? It was much too early to guess at that, but no matter what, his words meant a lot to you since he was extremely honest so you knew he meant what he said.

"Why don't you show me what you got and I can see what needs improving?"

You nodded and drew in a breath, recalling everything you learned over the past weeks. As you skated around, puck flying across the ice, you did your best to avoid getting blocked by the various hazards placed by Coach as well as Coach himself. He was impressively fast and quite nimble in his skates, not leaving much room for you to find an opening to lob the puck into the net. After a few failed attempts, Coach stopped you for a moment.

"Can I show you a better way to hold the stick while you shoot?"

"Please do, this is getting frustrating."

Coach smirked. "That means I'm doing my job well. I want to see you succeed at the game tomorrow, though, so you have to make sure you can keep calm to barrel through anyone who gets in your way."

"You're right. I get in my own head too much, too often. I just have to have trust in my skills and I know I can do it."

Coach was now standing to your side, holding his hockey stick out. "Put your hands like this... no, like this... yeah, sort of? Keep them lined up like this."

His demonstration was hard for you to understand exactly how your hands should be resting on the stick, but before you could express more of your frustrations, Coach caught you by surprise for the second time that day.

"Would you mind if I move your hands with my own?"

"That's fine," you squeaked out, anxiously awaiting his now ungloved hands to rest on top of your own. His soft skin made contact with you as he gently moved your hands to grip the stick in a new position. You didn't want to know how flustered you looked at that moment. You felt like your entire brain shut down and you forgot how to function as a human for a second, too involved in the lovely feeling of his hand on yours. The proximity was killing you as he held you close, the slight smell of cologne wafting into your nose and making you never want to experience another scent in your life but that one. When he finally let go, your hands felt empty in a way you'd never known before. However, you shook off the feelings of heartache for the man who was so close yet so far from you in favor of whacking the hell out of the black disc in front of you.

"Just remember, be quick and precise with it! You'll want to-"

You cut him off with a slam of the stick on the puck as it went whizzing past him and into the net with breakneck speed.

"Like that?" you asked, a cheeky smile on your face.

"Just like that," breathed out an astounded Coach. "What a great shot. You're a fantastic player. Do that tomorrow and we'll have no problem winning."

"Yay! That's what I was hoping for," you told him, taking a swig from your water bottle. You both decided that you had enough practice, not wanting to over exert yourselves before tomorrow's game. You two sat on the bench together, shedding your skates and talking about your hockey journeys. You heard how Coach got started playing and why he's so passionate about the game, and it made you happy knowing that he trusted you enough to delve into such personal topics. It was now your turn to divulge your history, or lack thereof, with the sport, and you tried your best to be honest but not totally spill your secret. However, Coach's presence relaxed you too much and you found yourself speaking much too freely.

"It's hard to believe I figured this all out just in these past three weeks," you sighed dreamily, your chin resting in your hands as you observed the ice. All of a sudden, your eyes widened in realization of what you said. You prayed Coach didn't catch what you uttered, but you weren't so lucky. You reluctantly turned your head toward him and were met with a look of pure incredulity on his face.

"Wait, what did you just say?"

You wished you could lie your way out of this but it was impossible. You screwed up, big time, and now you have to own it.

"I didn't want to tell anyone that I'd never played before because I really wanted to be on the team," you said sheepishly, "but I have the skills I need for the game, all thanks to Jonesy, Reilly, and you, of course."

Coach didn't seem any bit convinced. "You're telling me that the game is tomorrow and you think you can survive out there after never having played hockey? Are you out of your mind?"

"It's a beer league, Coach, not the NHL," you argued. You were upset that he wasn't taking your progress seriously. He had said himself that you were a great player--why did it matter that you hadn't hashed it out with strangers when you were capable of holding your own against your teammates in practice matches?

"It may be a beer league, y/n, but you're still gonna get crushed out there. Absolutely pummeled. I'm not allowing you on the ice for a few games at least."

"I am an adult, you can't tell me what I can and can't do." Your tone was tinged with venom.

"I am a coach and I know what players should and shouldn't do."

Coach, in his anger, was leaned in toward you, his face infiltrating your personal space. You would've been elated to be so close to him at literally any other time but this. You huffed in annoyance while Coach's peeved expression stayed trained on you as you backed up and crossed your arms in defiance, neither of you saying anything but your expressions were doing all the talking. The large, empty rink was presently feeling much too small as you stared into Coach's narrowed brown eyes.

"I don't need this from you. I'm going home. See you tomorrow."

You grabbed your bag and walked away as fast as your legs could move you without looking too pathetic.

Now it was game day and Coach was nowhere to be found. No one had heard from him all day so it was assumed he wasn't playing. With another person out due to sickness, that meant the team had just the right amount of players to rotate you in and allow you some time on the ice.

Which is where you were now.

Literally on the ice because some jerk on the other team slammed into you.

"This isn't the NOSHO, asshole, take it easy," you grumbled, quickly getting up and back into the game. It was halfway through the third period with still no sign of Coach, and you resigned to the fact that he stood you all up. You were disappointed, to say the least. What was his problem? You didn't explicitly lie to anyone and you were able to (mostly) hold your own on the ice. There was no reason for Coach to be this upset at you for something so silly! You shook your head to clear your thoughts. There was no time to care about something like that when you had a game to win.

By the time the last minute was shown on the board, the teams were tied for points. You still hadn't scored your own point, but you were helping the other members of your team score by blocking players and passing the puck back and forth. For it being your first game, you weren't doing horribly. Jonesy and Reilly were by your side a good portion of the time to encourage and support you, making your heart swell with joy at knowing your friends always had your back.

If only my crush was the same way, you thought to yourself.

The puck had made it back into your possession as the clock quickly counted down. You were skating fast and hard down to the net, utilizing your training to avoid the players actively trying to block you. You sped around them, completely focused on the monumental task in front of you.

"SLAM IT IN! SHOW 'EM HOW IT'S DONE!"

Coach?!

You were stunned to see his figure up against the glass, slamming on it with his palms. His arrival was enough to kick yourself into gear, ready to prove your worth as a hockey player. You took in deep breath, making sure your hands were positioned just like Coach taught you. Without hesitation, you brought your stick back and rammed it forward right as you got hit from behind by an opposing team member. The puck went flying through the air and landed neatly behind the goalie as the buzzer went off, signaling the end of the game.

You just won!

As the crowd went wild, your teammates rushed over to you, cheering for your impressive game winning move. The exciting moment of victory was over as quick as it began, the rink clearing out in a hurry as people had better things to do on a Saturday afternoon than celebrate a beer league hockey game. It was once again quiet as you collected your things, ready to get home and take a much needed shower. You were currently putting your skates in your bag when familiar shoes entered your vision.

"Why weren't you here earlier, Coach?" you asked, hesitating to meet his eyes out of disappointment, but your love for him was stronger than your dismay. "We were all worried."

His brown eyes held an uncharacteristically soft gaze toward you as he spoke.

"I couldn't stand to see you potentially get hurt and not be able to protect you," he confessed, a blush lighting up his face, "but that's all part of the game, I guess. I thought it was best for me to sit this one out and let you experience hockey as it should be. I wish you would have told me you never played before so I could have taught you everything you needed to know to stay safe out there but... it seems like Jonesy and Reilly really pulled through for you. You played well today, I'm proud of you, y/n."

You didn't know what to say. You couldn't fathom that was the reason Coach didn't want you to play. The normally brash, aggressive man was standing in front of you, blushing, meeker than a mouse, and telling you he wanted to protect you. Did that mean...?

"I really like you," you blurted out. "I have for the longest time and I promised myself I would ask you on a date if I scored today so that's what I'm doing. Would you like to go out with me sometime?"

If you were shocked at Coach's admission of why he was MIA most of the day, he was triple the amount of shocked at your question-- you could tell by the way his mouth hung open before he sputtered out an answer.

"Oh! Well, I haven't been on a date since my beloved Barb left me alone on this earth... but I like you too, y/n. A lot. I'd love to join you on a date."

You exhaled a sigh of relief. "Wanna meet at MoDean's later tonight? I heard it's open mic night."

Coach's eyes lit up. "I'll bring my ukulele. See you there?"

"See you there," you said in agreement, a wide smile never leaving your face. You would have never thought that this day would come, but you were overjoyed that you gained the confidence to ask out the Coach of your dreams. Tonight would be the perfect ending to the perfect day.

You'd better pucking believe it.

[coleszzzworld]

Title~ infinity.

Yandere Bully!hawks x reader x yandere bully !dabi (she/her pronouns!!!) non quirk AU!

College Au! Reader is in her 3 year of college and dabi doesn’t not look like a burnt pice of toast in this 😭

Summary~”every since you started college your bullies won’t leave you alone they tease you and make fun of you . You eventually get tired of it and fight back “

TW⚠️⚠️just a lil of dirty talk 😤, cussing , bullying!!!!! ,just a douche bag energy!

———————————————————————

“Hello! Do you have a pen I can borrow?” I say cheerful too the red headed male next too me . “Fuck off bitch.” He replies back , “well that wasn’t nice of you “ I say in shock before turning too the blonde male on my left “um do you have a pen I can borrow “ I ask less cheerful , “yeah but it’s gonna cost you “ he says with a sleazy smirk , “e-excuse me ?” I say confused, “yeah it’s gonna cost you , you have too give me a kiss short stack “ he says as he winks at me , and the male on my right chuckles at the blondes words , “okay dick head , your being such a douche . “ I say leaving the situation alone . If only I knew … I wished I never fucking asked for a dumb pen . Maybe I wouldn’t be in my third year getting  tortured by these douches . Keigo - well hawks . He goes by hawks . He’s not that bad . Actually no he’s worse then his best bud . Hawks always teases me for literally anything he constantly harasses me . He flirts and says dirty things too me. Dabi on the other hand he’s blunt . He says what he’s thinking. If anyone disrespects him he’ll get them expelled real quick . His dad is the dean of the school. That’s why him and his dumb ass friend gets away with so much. “Aye dumb ass!” Some one says slamming their books on my desk . I look up , oh great it’s the fucking demons from hell. Dabi and hawks look down on me . “So baby bird , your gonna do our homework for us right ?~” hawks says winking at me . “Fuck no. “ i say pushing their notebooks and books and sheets of paper away towards them . “Fuck yes . You will and you have no choice babe.” Dabi says pushing the books back . “I mean unless you do want too lose your precious scholarship? , what would mommy and daddy say about you getting kicked out of college unexpectedly?” Dabi says as he smirks . “Alright fine . You guys are so fucking ev-“ I say as I get cut off by hawks “yeah , yeah we’re evil. Who cares you say the same thing every time . Maybe I should shut those pretty lips with something else ~” he says putting his hand in my chin eventually rubbing my bottom lip with his thumb. I slap his hand away. “Go die or something “ I say as I get up and as I’m about too walk away dabi slaps my ass , making me drop the books . “Dabi are you serious?!??!” I say embarrassed. And pissed off . “Couldnt help my self love . You look so damn good in that skirt “ he says giving a smirk at me . “Y’all are so disgusting . “ I say picking up the books then leaving .

“Hey y/n can I talk too you real quick ?” Kenji asks me as I put the books in my book bag , “sure what’s up ?” I say pausing for a second waiting for his response. “So I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me ?” He asks all shyly , “really kenji ?!?!, I would love-“ I look at him it’s like he literally seen a ghost , I look too where his eyes are looking and that’s behind me I turn around and their stands hawks and dabi , maybe he didn’t see a ghost but he definitely saw literal demons . “Fuck off you little shit she’s ours . “ dabi says nonchalantly. “Yeah fuck off. Before I whoop your ass dork . “ hawks says smirking and getting closer too kenji . “Of course I’m so sorry ! “ kenji bitches out and speed walks away . “Are you fucking serious right now?!?! What the hell is wrong with y’all? I’m not y’all’s ! I can date whoever I want . “ I say pissed off , “actually you are ours baby bird . “ hawks say getting closer too me eventually grabbing my butt, I push him . “ you know what I’m done ! Fuck the both of y’all . Go literally die . I can do whatever I want when ever I want .y’all are psychopaths!” I say pushing hawks too the ground. I grab my book bag and push into dabis shoulder and walk away .“Cmon dude “ dabi offers a hand too hawks which he takes . “ shit I think I want her much more now” dabi chuckles . “Yeah dude that chick is bad . For real. “ hawks agree. “True . Don’t worry we will get her soon. “ dabi says as they both walk away.

———————————————————————

A/N- I hoped yall enjoyed this . I’m definitely gonna make a part 2 fr🫶🏼

[razzle-zazzle]

In the game it's shown that Dion really respects and listens to the adults in his life. How do you think he'd act towards lucrecia after he found out about everything?

Oh, there's definitely going to be an adjustment period. Dion's having his whole worldview being turned on its head in a matter of days. Raz ran away. Augustus is pro-psychic now. Augustus is psychic. The Aquatos travel to the psychic headquarters because Raz is working for them. The curse isn't real. His grandmother isn't his grandmother, she's his great aunt and a war criminal and the curse was really just a suggestion that psychic put into her and Augustus' minds (and yet psychics are supposed to be good??? dion is pressing x to doubt on this one). Dion is getting slammed with all of these events and revelations over the course of days—of course there's going to be an adjustment period.

But ultimately? I think, as far as Dion's concerned, even if Lucrecia isn't his grandmother, she's still his Nona. She still helped raise him alongside his parents. Even if it takes him some time (the protections hiding the Gulch might not help in that regard), he's ultimately going to treat her with the same respect and care he did before. It might be shifted slightly, but I don't think Dion could be seriously disrespectful or avoidant towards Lucrecia.

[willowser]

this is bullshit, you need to learn how to do your job better

all the pens clatter out of your coat pocket when you yank it down your arms and you stare at the concrete for a long time, debating whether or not this will send you over the edge. realistically, it's probably not worth it, and screaming and fuming and groaning into the empty break room will probably just alert someone further into the building, amp up those rumors about the wing being haunted—but it might make you feel a little less tense.

it's so stupid; the patient clearly has no idea about anything that's done around here and you know that, but it doesn't make hearing the complaints any easier. the disrespect against you, your coworkers, all the hard work you do daily and what it's taken you to get here to this position.

you shove the material into your locker and bend to pick up your pens, the little notebook that fell out too, and you carelessly toss them in as well, slamming the door shut before they can come tumbling out after you; that, on the other hand, would definitely have sent you into a frenzy. the mess you've created will be a reminder of how this day ended, but future-you can handle that after a solid eight hours of sleep.

the metal reverberates through the back room, the slam echoing in the silence you've been left to. by the end of the day, most of your coworkers are happy to be gone, letting the ugliness of the shift wash off them as they shed their coats, as they leave their work behind them, and normally you can follow suit, but some days that ten hour shift refuses to let anything slide. at least for you.

it's ridiculous. you know it is. you shouldn't let this ruin what of the day is left to you, but you can still picture the patients face when he said it, the disgust in his eyes at your response. all the words you want to fling back into his face are rolling around in your mouth, and you can't stop thinking about what you should have said, just to try and make him understand.

"y'okay?"

you jump, looking up from the bench where you'd been tying your shoes to see bakugou. your manager. you hadn't even realized he would still be here, or in the back. it's been hard to think about anything else.

"uh, hey." you shake your head, watching his hands as he begins to tug off his white coat. meeting his eyes makes you feel a little silly, because you're not sure how much of the last twenty minutes have been silently thought or mumbled out loud. "yeah, just—assholes, you know?"

"fucking for real," he grumbles, leaning against the short row of lockers as he crosses his arms. for nearly all hours of your day together, you only ever see him with his sleeves down, and something about seeing his forearms, the biceps bulging against the material of his scrub top, feels intimate.

god, now you're just being weird. about your fucking boss.

again.

it's hard to say when your little crush on him began. before you'd been promoted to working under him, all you'd ever heard was horror stories. how aggressive he was, the little tolerance he had for mindless conversation and idle chit-chat, anything that would take away from you doing your job. bakugou worked quick, and if you turned out to be the one slowing him down with your incompetence, there would be hell to pay. in order to keep up with his pace, stay on his half-way decent side—you had to know what you were doing, be confident in it, ready to make decisions at the drop of a hat.

and it's terrifying, sure, but there's something about it you can't really pinpoint. seeing him come in on his scheduled days, solve problems because he knows what he's doing, the quick math he can do in his head and the extensive amount of knowledge he has about—everything. in some ways, he's a complete jerk, but you would be lying if you said the intelligence and confidence wasn't so attractive.

"what'd they say?"

you blink, and bakugou has shifted some, relaxed, hands tucked into his pockets. "the usual: why we aren't helping him right now despite all the other people waiting to be checked out, why we can't just grab pills from the shelf and throw them in a bottle and give them to him and send him on his way."

he snorts. "right, because it's not like we're running a fucking business here or anything."

"oh, yeah, clearly not." all the things you wanted to say to the patient before are piling back up now that you're talking about him again, and you have to take a deep breath so it all doesn't come rushing out. "not like we have operating procedures or licenses to protect or lives to fucking watch out for."

"obviously we should have helped him before anyone."

"obviously."

when you roll your eyes, he laughs quietly, shaking his head as he turns his attention elsewhere. a little smile plays on his lips and it has your stomach dropping almost painfully; it's not often he ever wears anything other than a scowl and furrowed brows. the sight of amusement on his face, no matter if its fuled by a patients own idiocy, is so new. more friendly, less professional.

this isn't the first time you've ever wondered what he's like outside of work, in jeans and a soft cotton tee. or maybe he wears a sweatshirt and cargo pants. heavy boots or sneakers or loafers—you have no idea. he has a facebook page, but you're not friends, so the only photo you can see of him is one in the middle of some canyon, hiking, in a sleeveless tank that shows off his muscles too well.

a beat of silence goes by and you pop all the knuckles on both your hands because you shouldn't ask him this, but you do anyway. "are you...going to mina's thing after work tomorrow?" his smile vanishes, face schooling back into it's resting, irritated expression, and you immediately wish you could swallow those words. "probably not, right? that's like, what, fraternization or something?"

bakugou inhales, holds it, and then sighs with a shrug. thinking. "'m a superior to mina, but i'm not really her boss, so no. but i ain't going to that shit, she always drinks too much wine and ends up tryin' to make me dance with her or something." you laugh and his eyes flick to you. your mouth and your neck and your eyes. "you goin'?"

would it be embarrassing if you said yes? would he think less of you? "uh, i don't know yet. maybe."

it doesn't matter anyway. because he's your boss.

he nods once and chews the inside of his lip, and when he speaks again, his voice is a little quieter. something he doesn't want reaching further into the building. "would be fraternization with you though. can't hardly be in the same place as you outside of here," he gives a lazy gesture to the walls, the ceiling. "if i want you to stay with me."

you think you might throw up. the sound of his voice echoes in your ears over and over and that's not what he meant and you're such a creep, but you're never going to forget this moment. what it felt like to hear him say something like that.

"not—fuck—not with me, just—fuckin'—here."

"yeah, yeah," you shake your head quickly, trying to seem aloof as you survey the change of color on his cheeks. the fluorescence back here sucks, but you think he might be turning a little red. "no, of course, i get what you mean."

"you'd have to, you know," bakugou shrugs again, looking down at his shoes as he shuffles, a little restless. hand scratching the back of his neck. fiddling with his watch. the collar of the coat still in his arms. "change departments and shit, if we wanted to—outside of work, or whatever."

"yeah," you don't mean for it to come out so breathless but it does, and his eyes shoot to yours. "and, i mean, we don't want me to do that." you bite your lip and he swallows, adam's apple bobbing as he watches you with more attention than you think you've ever had from him. "right?"

"'course not," and his voice is just as low as yours, but it picks up after he sighs, eyes drifting away. "you're the only one here that isn't a total dumbass, so, can't afford t'lose you"

"oh, only half a dumbass? what a relief."

"should'a taken that guy before anyone else, then maybe i'd be sayin' something different." he looks at you again when you laugh, another small, amusing smile hinted on his lips. a silence settles over you and you try not to wilt under his stare. you wish you could know what he was thinking. "next time someone gives you a hard time, just come get me alright? i'll fuckin' tear 'em a new one, i don't care."

what you wouldn't give to know. if there's even a single thought about you. if he's looked for more pictures of you on facebook. if he wishes he could go to mina's party, if he wants to see you outside of here.

bakugou swallows again, mouth firming back into a thin line as he steps away from the lockers, straightening his posture as he starts to leave. "won't let people talk to my staff that way. not just you, but anybody."

"yeah," you nod. the disappointment feels like a blush on your face, heat on your cheeks you don't know if you're hiding. not just you. not just you. "i'll remember that for next time."

he nods once before shaking his head, telling you to go home, get some rest, and then he's disappearing out the break room before you know it. all you can focus on is the shift of muscles under his shirt before he's gone.

and maybe it's best you don't know, afterall.

[run-me-through-but-not-like-that]

Hello, I absolutely love your head cannons. For my request, I was wondering if you had any headcannons about Izzy being super protective of his s/o? Him just sort of channeling that “small yappy dog” energy he embodies.

Izzy Hands is an ankle biter.

Izzy Hands being Protective Headcanons:

Izzy is protective over the people he cares about (so...you and Ed and that's about it).

That protectiveness mixed with his love language being acts of service means that he would probably do anything for you, and he definitely doesn't need to be asked.

Would he kill for you? Without hesitation and without question.

Say the word and their dead...not that you really have to ask...it's more like you need to stop him from killing anyone.

He's protective over the big things but also the tiniest of things.

Somebody threatens you? They're dead. You'll have to pull him away kicking and screaming if you want to avoid bloodshed.

Somebody disrespects you? They're about to get an earful about how to show respect, with plenty of threats against their life or wellbeing of course.

A member of the crew is trying to get you to do one of their tasks for them? Izzy is right there, snapping at them for their laziness. Still, normally you laugh it off and offer your assistance if you have the time.

Izzy may not be the tallest man, no even close among the crew, but he's always looming behind you when new people are around. He's not trusting of others in the slightest but he knows the crew isn't going to harm you, random strangers though? That's a whole different story. He lets them know to mind their step around you before anyone has even spoke.

You know that this man is fully in love with you and devoted to you when he protects you against Blackbeard.

Whatever the situation might be, perhaps Stede and Ed got into an argument and Ed's in a bad mood. All he has to do is snap at you for a task you haven't tended too yet and Izzy is by your side, telling the infamous Blackbeard to back down and take a breath.

Should Blackbeard actually threaten you? Well, Izzy may just be ready to duel him right then and there even if he believes he would lose.

The first time Izzy does the slightest thing to protect you against Ed, no matter how small, the shift is obvious to everyone one on the ship.

Well, that was all pretty serious.

Izzy can be a little...dramatic, which means that he's always ready to argue for you.

The crew is on land and you've gone to the pub for some leisure time.

If the bartender is ignoring you, Izzy is slamming his fist against the bar and barking your drink of choice at them.

Some drunk is bothering? Don't worry, they already have Izzy's knife to their throat.

You don't get to spend time on land often but you and Izzy have been kicked out of plenty of establishments for fights.

When on land Izzy is already on edge, so he's always close on your heel. The perfect guard dog, which the crew had referred to him as more than once.

He's attached to your hip at all times, already ready to come to your defence.

The crew might not be very scared of him anymore but they know that the threat of violence was very much real if somebody crossed you. Plus, they kind of admired his devotion to you since you were their friend, and at least they could trust him to never let anything happen to you.

[helenazbmrskai]

This Summer

Guess who’s back with another yoongi fic featuring my favourite trope so here’s another brother’s best friend au, I wanted to try a different setting for this one since I like summer camp aus a lot (and there’s not enough of it on this site I tell you) and I never did something similar to this also I’m sorry that there will be mistakes in here because I wrote this in three days but I’ll proofread it once I have the energy.

🏕️Title: ‹This Summer›

🏕️Pairing: ‹brother’s best friend and camp counsellor! yoongi x new camp counsellor! reader ft. brother and camp counsellor! hoseok›

🏕️Genre: ‹brother’s best friend, summer camp, camp counsellor, romance, fluff, angst, smut, idiots to lovers›

🏕️Summary: ‹This summer you’re going to stop liking min yoongi for good. The plan is flawless until it’s not (but you’re not the only one with plans.)›

🏕️Warnings: ‹smut, making out, oral (both parties) receiving, penetrative sex, condom sex, dirty talk, yoongi is jealous of jungkook having your boobs against his chest, y/n avoids yoongi like it’s her life mission for like 5k straight, a lot of angst but there will be fluff too so don’t worry, awkward tension, sexual tension, clueless hobi, everyone is stupid in this, jungkook likes meddling with y/n’s life a little bit too much, poor tae facing yoongi’s wrath without any reason lol›

🏕️Word count: ‹12.3k›

🏕️Masterlist l read radio sweethearts if you want another brother's best friend yoongi l enjoy!

Your brother is a ticking time bomb, no one knows when he’s going to take something into his head, he’s that annoying sibling that’s always full of energy and twists everyone around his pinky finger on family dinners. You love him with your whole heart, considering you ripped that mean girl’s hair out in elementary school when she called your baby brother (who is older than you but shh) ugly and made him cry.

Hoseok and you are polar opposites he’s cheery and positive always have a big smile on his face, ready to help all the old ladies with heavy shopping bags cross the street while you’re on the quiet side and often misunderstood.

It’s easy to see on holiday dinners and get-togethers that your relatives favour him over you because you’re less talkative and friendly, he has better achievements in life whilst you struggle with school but those you’re close with know the real you and awkward conversations about your nonexistent boyfriend because you’re so deeply in love with your brother’s best friend is not the best ice breaker your distant grandmas try to pull on you. Even so, when Yoongi decides to tag along to those said dinners accompanied by his parents and little sister, might just hell break loose.

The second man who basically acts like he lives in your house is your best friend slash knight in shining armour and partner in crime; simply named Jeon Jungkook for good measure who is your next-door neighbour. You have tons of unforgettable memories with him as he was the one you went to prom with, annoyed all the teachers on field trips with your loud rap battles and cried on each other's shoulders as you graduated high school together.

Your friendship with him came as a surprise to all your family members as they originally thought your brother and him will become close but instead, he spent most of his time with you while yoongi and hoseok with their other friends hang out separately. On rare occasions, your group would mix and go to see a popular movie or play games at the arcade on someone’s birthday.

Summer usually is the time when things are a little slow. No assignments to do or classes to attend, your brother leaves in early July for this summer camp that’s half a day far away from your home with his friends and the last two summers even Jungkook applied to be a camp counsellor as he likes to be surrounded by kids and nature just like your brother does so literally, everyone left for some time leaving you alone in your hometown with nothing to do but it was better this way because away from Hoseok meant that Yoongi will be far away too.

Your brother tries to persuade you every year to go with them but you always have to decline, sometimes your no is firmer than other times because Hoseok is excellent at using his puppy eyes on you.

However, this summer you had other plans. There’s no bell to ring once the last class is dismissed for the semester, tired from your finals you’re going to dedicate at least a week to catch up on your sleep and fix your eating habits but you have a big smile on your face as you climb into Jungkook’s run-down Ford slamming the car door behind your body since they don’t function properly sometimes. This car is his prized possession, got it for his 18th birthday after he successfully passed his test (at the forth try) and bragged about his driving license to you for over two weeks although you only dared to sit next to him after two months. Jungkook named his car Adonis and forbid you of disrespecting his little baby if you want to ever get a lift so you let him be.

Back to your important inner turmoil, you decided you will no longer simp over Min Yoongi your brother’s best friend and this summer you’ll get over him as a grown-up woman. Being in your second year at the local University that all the boys attend it’s surprisingly easy to avoid your brother and his friends and how everyone’s schedule seems to be so packed all the time during the semester, you don’t see them as much as you used to in high school.

”This was your last final, right?” Jungkook turns the ignition key ready to leave this hellhole of a place, holding your headrest with one hand as he turns to see the back of the car so he can back out of the parking lot without any accidents. You grab the smoothie from the cup holder before humming in agreement and take a sip whilst taking in your best friend’s features you haven’t seen for the past week.

”As soon as I get home I’m going to sleep till the next century.” Your dramatic response earns a chuckle and a jab to your left boob as he didn’t take his eyes off the road while delivering his hit. Jungkook wears his signature white tee with a pair of dark blue jeans no traces are left of the stress both of you went under, he was luckier than you as his finals ended a week ago.

”School sucks, we couldn’t even have fun together and I’m leaving next week. I’m going to miss you, you know. You really won’t come with us?” He tried to make you rethink your decision just like your brother but not even his bambi eyes can waver your summer plans, this time you fully intend to have one more Min Yoongiless summer, this silly crush you have on your brother’s best friend can’t continue.

”There’s always one place left for you at the camp Y/N. Hoseok would love to see you there too and we could spend so much time together.” The idea of spending a few weeks with Jungkook sounds nice but a voice in your head reminds you that Yoongi will be there too. He could be yelling at children and wear his trademark grumpy expression but you would still find something attractive about him. The worst part is that he’s never like that with you.

Yoongi is not as talkative as Jungkook or Hoseok, making him be more like you, at first you thought that your crush developed because he seemed to understand you in a different way your brother couldn’t. He cares for his friends, always making sure to show them by doing thoughtful gestures.

Hoseok tells his friends all the time that you and him are a package deal it’s either both of you or none of you, sometimes people have a problem with that but these five boys he hangs out with for years now are the good exception. You like them even though you don’t like all of Hoseok’s friends.

”I’m sorry Koo but I can’t, we talked about this before.” It’s not like you hate children because you don’t you’re not the best with them but they are ok, the heatwave is what you despise in summer camps. You love being in an air-conditioned place without bug bites all-around your ankles and not even the campfire with yummy marshmallows could persuade you to like outdoor activities.

Summer camps are just not your thing.

”What do you mean you signed me up?” The black t-shirt slips through your fingertips, it has a band logo at the front you remember Hoseok liked back in high school, his suitcase is halfway filled with clothes when he decided to tell you he faked your signature to sign you up as the new summer camp counsellor.

You admit that you have a weird talent for making nice origamis that kids would probably love to learn and a good addition to the routine activities, he would have swayed you with compliments if it weren’t for the fact that he faked your signature and signed you up for something you definitely said no to but still decided to do it without your permission. You heard nice things about the camp itself since it got renovated two years ago and Hoseok’s friends are nice people, he said their co-workers are nice people and your best friend would be there too, don’t get the wrong impression there, you even heard that the camp leader Seokjin is nice and a fun person not strict at all unless it concerns the kid's safety because he will not allow that.

”Don’t be mad, please. Jungkook and I just thought that this could be a fun experience for you, things will get busy next year so it’s going to be the last summer together like this. Pretty please?”

You sighed defeatedly as you can’t possibly say no to that when he phrases it like that. Hoseok looks at you with his round big eyes full of hope. Your summer plan was flawless until…it’s not.

Jungkook came almost knocking down your front door when you called him to come over after you were finally done helping Hoseok finish packing for the trip, you scolded your best friend for not stopping your brother as soon as he learned his scheme about ruining your summer plans you felt furious but he picked up on his way over to your house your favourite coffee flavoured candies and it made you forgive him too easily as you were soon munching on the treat.

It’s a huge disadvantage on your part that he knows your preferences so well. Now you can understand why he always seems so frustrated with you when you make him his favourite dish to get him to forgive you, this is just too much power to have over someone and when he crushes you with his tight hug listing out the things the two of you can do at the camp all of your remaining anger vanishes.

You will think about Min Yoongi later.

That later, however, comes sooner than you anticipated. Sitting on the kitchen stool drinking your coffee while all Hoseok’s noisy friends get a fill of breakfast and a cup of coffee, you have the unfortunate fate of housing all the boys to dine before getting on the road and after a lost rock, paper, scissors thanks to your brother’s ridiculous bad luck you become the host.

The kitchen got filled with animated chit-chats as they place a toast or two on their plates over the noises you almost don’t hear Jungkook next to you asking for the jam but you pass him the jar silently. Yoongi and Jimin are the only ones missing from the group because Yoongi has to drive Jimin to his parent’s place to pick up his car that he got repaired recently so they were running a bit late.

Namjoon is a new addition to the group after Hoseok met him in Uni so you don’t know him that well but he’s nice as far as you’re concerned, you talked to him a few times and his interesting topics never fail to entertain you. Jin steals a toast from Namjoon’s plate so he doesn’t need to get up and fetch one for himself but Namjoon looks too tired to care as he munches on his remaining one toast that his friend can’t steal because it’s halfway in his mouth.

Seokjin’s parents run the bakery on the main road so everyone knows him, he got introduced to the friend group when you were still in high school and you and Jungkook were regulars at the shop. Jin always sneaked a pair of baguettes for the two of you exclusively after you were finished with school.

It’s nice to see all these familiar faces after the stressful semester you had, momentarily forgetting about your problems you feel thankful that Hoseok went out of his way to ruin your plans and sign you up for this train wreck of an adventure, it’s been a while since everyone was together like this.

The doorbell rang interrupting Jungkook and Seokjin’s argument about who’s going to get the last toast piece but Hoseok perked up at the sound yelling excitedly that Yoongi and Jimin are here. Your brother quickens his pace after rising from his seat to open the door for them and grins when they step through the threshold.

Greetings are exchanged between friends and the place becomes livelier as the last pieces decide to join the puzzle, Jimin sees you first and knocks into Jungkook’s shoulder while he tries to get to you to give you a warm hug.

It’s been a while since you last saw Yoongi face to face, you’re added to the boy's group chat so in some depth you knew how he’s doing. He has been over at your house a few times hanging out with Hoseok but you always stayed late inside the library on the days he visited using the weak excuse that you need to catch up on school work so you had no chance of crossing paths with him coincidently while you were searching for a glass of water in the kitchen it’s humiliating enough that he saw you exit your bathroom wearing only a towel when you were a teenager.

Your curves became more defined and your body matured a lot over the years and knowing that he saw you like that when you had no ass or boobs. It’s embarrassing. Hoseok liked you that way because it meant no man would thirst over you as he liked to call it. The memory of him telling the boys that you’re off-limits and made them swear at the ’bro code’ to stay away from you is crystal clear in your mind even if now you are in your twenties.

The memory only makes your situation difficult as Yoongi probably doesn’t feel the same way.

As soon as Jimin steps back and releases you from the hug he has Jungkook in a headlock the next second, wrestling with the younger playfully, Jungkook is probably the closest to Jimin after you.

”Hey, it’s nice to see you.”

Yoongi has a half-smile on his face as he approaches you hesitantly pulling you into a hug like Jimin did but his approach is more gentle and careful as he pats your back with featherlight touches. His scent envelops your senses tuning out everything else that’s not him, it feels like forever that you hugged him, normally the two of you greet each other but rarely hug like this.

”Yeah, you too.” You murmur the words into his shoulder but he must have heard you because the side of his lips turned slightly upwards after you separate.

There are two cars available for the eight of you and Seokjin yells that it’s a matter of a game of rock, paper, scissors and everyone agrees as this is the common way your group chose who is riding with who.

”Easy, the losers ride with Jimin and the winners with Yoongs.” Jungkook is the first one to initiate the rules and everyone agrees except Jimin who whines about why he takes the losers but no one pays attention as the bloody battle starts. The first contestants are Namjoon and Hoseok and your brother ends up loosing while yelling like a banshee and making up excuses that he wanted to show rock and not paper as Namjoon choose scissors as his weapon.

You come up next with Jungkook as your opponent and you let a wicked smile appear on your face because no one knows him better than you, you know his move before he even thinks it through and you show paper getting your well-deserved victory.

Just later you realise that winners ride with Yoongi that you reconsider your decision, you were so caught up in your rivalry that’s your friendship’s base foundation with Jungkook at this point that it slipped your mind entirely.

Taehyung and Jin are the last ones to compete and the battle ends with Taehyung winning the last space in Yoongi’s car leaving Seokjin to dramatically kneel like a wounded soldier making fake sobbing noises. Taehyung ends up changing seats with Jungkook last moment and finally, everything is set to get going.

Jungkook and Namjoon take over the backseat as they loaded their luggage at lightning speed so they can claim their spot first leaving you with the only option to have the passenger seat at the front.

Yoongi obviously got behind the steering wheel entrusted with the task of operating the car throughout this long drive to the summer camp sight. Taehyung, Jin and Hoseok got into Jimin’s car like it was decided by the game.

The camp is bigger than you expected and the renovations got the place a little modern touch to it while still maintaining a close feel to nature with all the wooden houses and trees around but your favourite part is the lake at the far end of the campsite.

You share a room with a girl counsellor that spends her second year here, still, relatively new like yourself so it’s easy to befriend her. The campers will arrive the next day early in the morning Areum informs you as you two walk to the dining area to have the first meeting before everything starts.

By the end of the day, everyone knows you’re Hoseok’s little sister and new people approach you every now and then to confirm the facts and know a little bit more about you since everyone seems to like your noisy brother here (not that it surprises you), it looks like the counsellors are excited to start a new summer here and the atmosphere easily pulls you in, you watch Jimin and Jungkook have a water fight just to catch in the corner of your eye the figure of your brother pushing an unsuspecting Seokjin into the lake when he stands too close to the edge.

The day goes by like a flash as you hang out with Areum, she shows you her favourite places that consists of the greenhouse and the other side of the lake where there are built benches and tables for outdoor picnics.

Jungkook pouts during dinner fake crying that you replaced him and you have to forcefully spoon feed him to stop him from embarrassing you in front of all these unfamiliar people that gathered to have some quiet dinner. So everything goes smoothly, you have such a great time that it scares you.

It’s getting pretty late when all counsellors gather around the campfire to roast marshmallows and catch up with each other’s lives, you’re still new so you use this time to get to know Areum a little bit more since you and her are going to be responsible for entertaining the kids inside the art room alongside with Taehyung who teaches the kids how to paint.

You tell her about your silly hobby that landed you this job and she gets really excited to see your origami creations, you show the same enthusiasm when she reveals her major is classical statuary.

Even though Yoongi was always nearby it got easy to ignore his existence when so many new things surrounded you. It didn’t mean he fully left your thoughts throughout the day but made you feel that sense of false security that you could get over him. That all those years of pinning for your brother’s best friend could just vanish if you told your heart to stop skipping beats when he calls your name. Boose soon gets introduced to the mix and by the time midnight rolls around everyone is pleasantly buzzed and when Jungkook enters the state that he hangs off of you like a koala nuzzling his cheek into the crook of your neck you decided to call it a night.

You wake up with your head thumping inside your skull slightly feeling hangover; your roommate is in a similar state as you two approach the dining room getting small slices of bread to make a light sandwich.

You’re mid-bite into your food when you see Yoongi enter, walking alongside with your brother he catches your gaze sooner than you were able to look away and after they get their fills on their trays your loud brother flops down next to you with the loudest greeting that he could possibly muster up alerting everyone in the ten-metre radius.

Yoongi and you groan at the same time telling him to shut up like it’s a scripted response and your eyes meet for the barest of seconds before you focus on your half-eaten sandwich.

It’s hard not to look at him. Despite his gruff exterior, he’s very good at dealing with children, your activity where kids can learn how to fold origami is always after his cookie baking lesson and he smells like rough cookie dough and chocolate ship when he leads the kids into the art room where you would have all the coloured papers ready at each desk and folded a sample beforehand so they can use it as a reference if the instructions don’t look clear enough in the printed page.

The idea for this lesson formed last night, you were up all night as you researched on the internet how to fold hearts. It kept you up till the sun rose as you were trying out every folding technique that would look pretty but easier to do for the kids, you even accidentally cut your finger with the scissor while you were working using only the faint light from the lamp on the bedside table.

Yoongi greets you like he usually would wearing a little smile at the corners as he lets the kids inside first holding the door open for them, he always leaves silently after he delivered the campers to the art room but this time the door slides closed behind his form as he got dragged into the room by a kid named Minsung holding onto Yoongi’s hand he stood awkwardly while everyone else had a decided seat to take.

”Can Yoongi join us today Y/N?” Minsung asks holding Yoongi’s hand as he leads him further into the art room and every kid looks expectantly at you waiting for you to agree and seeing their faces you nod with a smile pulling out the chair next to you beckoning the embarrassed man to sit beside you.

He didn’t think you would say yes if he’s being honest. After you finished high school and he and Hoseok went to University and got busy with life he started to see you less and less, at first he didn’t think much of it but after some time it looked like that you’re actively avoiding him.

He has no idea why (that’s what eats him from the inside out on sleepless nights) he doesn’t remember saying or doing something that would make you upset and even now when you keep bumping into each other you seem skittish around him and he doesn’t like that, hence he even talked to Hoseok about this and your own brother couldn’t give him an answer why you started avoiding him.

”Do you know how to fold origami?” You ask him slipping papers in front of him as soon as he seats himself beside you, your heart beats inside your chest violently when you get enveloped in his scent yet again reminding you of the hug you shared that you’re afraid he’s going to hear it.

”I barely know how to fold my clothes.” The nervous joke lightens the mood as the kids laugh loudly the poor attempt at making you be more comfortable with him earns a little snort that makes a blush creep up your face rapidly in embarrassment but Yoongi thinks you sound adorable. You think you sounded like a troll.

”It’s fine I’ll help you.” Your little smile is still there even though your eyes are no longer on Yoongi as you focus on the kids, you tell them first what they will make and then go into detail how they can fold it while using the instructions and clearing some of the confusing images for them to understand it better. Lastly, you encourage them to not be afraid to ask if they have questions and you’ll gladly help them. It falls silent after as everyone gets absorbed in their work and you start making extra origamis for the children as usual until someone needs help.

Yoongi looks intent on finding out using the illustrations how to proceed and even though your instructions were pretty clear and well detailed he couldn’t figure out how to do it, he wastes two papers before he even got to the third step.

You see him struggling and he clearly gets worked up over it considering the number of creases appearing on his forehead once you get back to your desk after helping a kid figure out the instructions you move your chair closer getting his attention with the movement, your knees touch in the process but neither of you makes any moves to instal more distance between your bodies.

”Can I show you?” You reach for the scrambled paper but stop midway to look up and ask for permission.

Yoongi nods his head sliding the mess closer to you, observing as you unfold the paper and restart making more accurate lines and you immediately see what’s wrong with his shape. His measurements are off, even when he folded the paper in half that seemed uneven because he tried to fold it in one go and the paper sometimes moves around if you’re not careful enough.

After you fixed it and slid the paper to be in front of him you tell him your advice in a soft-spoken way. Heart still hammering inside your chest due to the closeness you share. ”Don’t rush through the steps, take your time while you fold it.” Your fingers touch briefly when you pass him the paper and you resume your working so it would take away from the embarrassment of how loud your heart beats because of him.

He looks so good today wearing a black oversized t-shirt with small prints in the front and even when his hair is damp with sweat his smile is able to melt your resolves any time you gaze up at those dark eyes.

Kids can be very attentive and they easily see how Y/N looks so smitten with Yoongi if those stolen sideway glances are anything to go by, every time he shows up you became a nervous ball of a mess it’s not rocket science to know you have a huge crush on the boy, the only mystery that campers can’t figure out is why you tiptoe around each other when Yoongi doesn’t seem indifferent either.

They often catch him looking at you as they run around the campsite during leisure activities led by Hoseok.

Minsung and Soohyung share a knowing smile as they watch them fold origami and it’s not overlooked by either of them when you focus back to do your work and Yoongi takes glances in your direction mesmerized by you, the task seems easy when he watches you do it.

A knock is followed by the appearance of your camp leader Seokjin leaning onto the doorframe interrupting your little bubble, looking at the kids with a fond expression before he addresses Yoongi and they leave together to discuss something, the activity is almost over as you learn glancing at the clock and Jungkook soon appears where Jin was a little while ago to get the kids.

Jungkook and your brother are the ones responsible for the outdoor activities and at the end of the day not only the kids are tired but their counsellors too by constantly running around to ensure everyone's safety.

Yoongi wanted to talk to you and help you clean up, have a real conversation in private, but things never turn out as he wants them to there seems to be always an obstacle standing between you two so he follows Jin to discuss a camp-related issue while he wishes he could spend a little more time with you.

If only you would tell him what he did wrong so he can fix it, this awkward state you two got stuck in makes him sad for some reason.

There was a time when you were greeting him with a big smile on your face and ask him about his day, he vividly remembers your chubbier cheeks and crooked teeth when you were younger but he doesn’t mind your feminine growth over the years, Yoongi always thought you will grow up to be a beautiful woman.

He remembers your prom dress, it was in a navy blue colour that complimented your fuller curves he only started to notice in your last year in high school, Jungkook posed beside you like you were Mr and Mrs Smith as your parents took pictures of you two and he found himself smiling fondly at you.

It was Hoseok’s birthday when the air shifted from platonic to something else in the short span of ten seconds, both of you were a little tipsy and you were sitting at a corner table together because neither of you wanted to hit the dance floor, the bar was packed and guys tried to hit on you numerous times just to be chased away by your brother’s antics.

You didn’t seem to mind that he prevented every guy from making a move on you and as you were all alone in a small booth chest to chest to hear each other over the loud music while you tried to tell him a story about Jungkook choking on fries at Mcdonalds when the waitress suddenly slipped her number scribbled onto a napkin trying not to ugly laugh yourself. His nose accidentally bumped into yours as he suppressed a laugh and if the others didn’t choose that exact moment to take a breather and have more drinks he thinks he would have probably kissed you right then and there.

The other time he felt something different while he was around you was when you and his friends took a trip to Busan to see the sea and you wore that one piece bikini, the bottom and top half were connected by a line of fabric but let your sides and hips be visible under the little clothing you had on.

Guys turned their heads when you passed them and he couldn’t even blame them like Hoseok because he looked at you a few times as well trying to seem as subtle as he possibly can since Hoseok otherwise would have killed him knowing that his best friend was ogling at his little sister.

”Don’t you dare!” Your yelling draws the attention of the kids and counsellors equally that’s how loud you are as your best friend approaches your form sitting under the umbrella trying to cool yourself down since today’s temperate is insanely (and unreasonably) hot. ”When we get home I’ll draw all your action figures a moustache using permanent markers. I’m not joking stop right there!”

Your horrific expression is validated since Jungkook has this shit-eating grin on his face when he’s about to do something you’ll most definitely not like, knowing him from your early stage of childhood when he was just a lanky anime fanatic and you were flat like a wooden board with huge pimples you’re an expert at distinguishing his different expressions and actions.

”You’re cute to think that will stop me.” Jungkook chuckles grabbing you by the waist as he drapes you over his shoulder effortlessly walking with you to the edge of the lake despite your efforts to break free from his grip, your friend jumps into the water with you still firmly clinging onto his body. The kids around you laugh at your friendly banter as you rise from the water like a lake monster and you duck Jungkook’s head underwater to make him pay for your ruined clothes and makeup.

Coming to help you, Jimin manoeuvres his boat next to you and stretches his hand out followed by a big grin to drag you out of the lake but it appears to be more difficult as you two almost flip over but you manage to unceremonially flop down next to him dragging your fingers through your hair to get the hairs out of your face.

”You really want war, Jeon. Just you wait but don’t blame me if I shave your hair off while you’re sleeping.” Coughing between your threatening words Jimin starts patting your back, rubbing your spine to help you feel better.

Jimin oars closer to the dock and you land your feet on the ground again without any more incidents occurring while Jungkook swims all the way, making comments about your appearance making the campers giggle alongside with him as your face gets warmer, once both of you are secure on land Jungkook hugs you close despite your distaste, your clothes cling to your body uncomfortably and droplets from his hair land on your cheek as he moulds your bodies together.

”Let me go, I’m not talking to you.” You try to push him away but instead of letting you go he scoops you up from the ground and spins you around, begging for your forgiveness but you don’t give in so easily.

Yoongi observes the scenes before him with a sour expression, he doesn’t even realise how he glares at Jungkook holding you that close to him while both of you are dripping of lake water, your boobs are entirely pushed against his chest as your best friend giggles midst of you struggling to break free.

Next to him Hoseok sits relaxed in his chair sipping his cold drink, shaking his head in faux amusement happy to see you have a good time here, your brother is normally very protective of you when it comes to guys but with Jungkook he knows that you guys are just best friends it’s hard to see you two otherwise when he witnessed your first period crying onto Jungkook’s shoulder that you’re going to bleed out and your poor friend almost dragged you to the hospital because he thought you were being real but soon learned that you overdramatise things when it’s that time of the month.

He often finds you in a weird position while you watch tv with Jungkook’s head on your tummy because the pressure and warmth of his head make the pain more bearable cuddling under blankets because you get needy when you’re on your period, your brother knows all of this because when your best friend is unavailable he has to fill the space and lay his head on your stomach until the feeling goes away.

He had his doubts in the early stage of your budding friendship when you first started to hang out with each other because things can get weird easily between friends if they are not the same gender but Jungkook proved to Hoseok multiple times that he supports you and would walk through fire for you. Nothing happened between you two in romantic aspects, there was no shift, even though someone who doesn’t see you daily interacting with him would assume something is going on.

”I’m going to change.” You announce to no one in particular, the way your shirt clings to your curves as you’re surrounded by male counsellors you don’t know adds extra pressure and their eyes on you make you uncomfortably fidget in place, your make up is probably smudged on your face giving you a panda effect.

”Wear this your bra is showing.” Jungkook gives you his wet shirt but the black material conceals your body to look decent enough and you thank him he could easily sense your distress and he feels a little bad that he pulled that trick on you. He had to coax you into wearing that bikini at the beach last year buttering you up with compliments so the two of you could finally get going, he knows better than anyone that you’re shy and insecure about your body if someone you don’t know sees you, you don’t hate your body but it makes you feel anxious if some stranger looks at you like you’re his meal for the evening and he totally gets it.

He glares at every single one of them who looks at you inappropriately alongside your brother who shares the same sentiment as him. You deserve to be treated right, that’s why he was super angry once you told him about your first time, that guy just stuck it in without making you cum.

Hoseok doesn’t know, however, you only told Jungkook about your unpleasant experience when you were tipsy, you had to tell him at a house party while playing truth or dare, you had to share something he didn’t know and considering he’s your best friend not much was there to confess. You hoped that he was drunk enough to forget about it the next day but he surprised you with ice cream and you talked it out with him, he can be immature sometimes though when the situation needs him to be serious he’s there for you. He never once made fun of you for something you felt insecure or not confident about.

Areum takes in your dishevelled look as soon as you step through the entrance of your current accommodation, opting for a quick shower to wash the dirty lake water off your skin you tell her what happened vaguely before disappearing behind the bathroom door and she snickers silently seeing your grumpy face.

Jungkook marches to the seat next to Hoseok the playful glint is still there as he rakes his fingers through his hair shaking the droplets out of his locks like a dog and the way female colleagues eye him didn’t go unnoticed by either Yoongi or Hoseok for that matter. Your best friend is not as dense as you think he is because for a while now he connected the dots why you seem to avoid Yoongi at all cost.

It shocked him at first but now observing your interactions closely he calls himself a fool that he didn’t realise it sooner. Your best friend knows about the ’you can’t woo my baby sister’ rule because it’s applied to him as well, Hoseok cornered him one day after you left to bring up snacks for a movie night and told him awfully descriptive outcomes what will happen to him if he tries anything on you all the while he pushed him against your lavender walls, that day he learned that smiley Hoseok can be scary sometimes.

It’s been years and his overprotectiveness lessened because you dated guys here and there and Hoseok was always supportive of you and your soon-to-be boyfriends, but you didn’t go to second dates with any of them.

He found it strange at first but after he found out about your little crush on your brother’s best friend some things clicked and your behaviour wasn’t soo odd anymore, Jungkook didn’t read too much into it at first because he thought it’s going to be a fleeting flame but it’s been years that you harbour feelings for the older man.

Yoongi was a harder nut to crack because he’s better at masking his feelings than you but he can see how his eyes linger on you when he thinks no one’s looking, his slip-ups are subtle ones and it would go over his head if he wouldn’t be so tuned in searching for his reactions.

His gut feeling tells him Yoongi feels the same way you do (his face might not be as expressive but his eyes are sparkling every time he finds you in the crowd) although he can’t be one hundred percent sure, the benefit of the doubt that makes him keep question every move and look he throws your way his confusing actions indicates that even Yoongi doesn’t know how he truly feels about you so Jungkook didn’t bring up the subject because he’s not sure how to approach this without making this more complicated.

He doesn’t want to give you hope when he can’t guarantee his intuition is right so he choose to silently observe and let things unfold naturally but it gets harder with time to ignore how you two are dancing around each other like idiots. Well, at least before now you straight out refuse to be in the same room as him.

At this point, he’s convinced that neither of you is going to make a move to let the other know about your romantic feelings, he wanted to respect the fact that you didn’t want him to know about your feelings towards your brother’s best friend but enough is enough and he’s tired of seeing you avoid the matter for another year like this.

His plan so far doesn’t seem to work, he convinced Hoseok to sign you up for the camp against your will but things don’t go forward as you keep avoiding the problem so he needs to give both of you a little push from the sidelines to end this.

He doesn’t like the idea of you hurting if he’s being wrong about this but the rejection would be better than living in denial, not knowing if he reciprocates your feelings, he hates seeing you cry but he’ll be there to kick ass and support you. Jungkook makes up his mind and calls Hoseok’s name to grab his attention.

”What do you think about one of your friends dating Y/N?”

Hoseok’s brow raises in question and Yoongi’s body stiffens at the mention trying to seem unaffected but Jungkook detects the slight change in his demeanour. ”Why do you ask? You’re not in love with my sister, are you Jeon?” He can’t stop laughing as he hears Hoseok accusing him immediately, he gets comfortable in his seat before answering. Waiting a little before responding to get a dramatic effect, he spends too much time with you as he realises he picked up some of your theatrical approaches.

”God, no. She’s my best friend I know too much about her to think like that.” His laughing subdues into small chuckles, he saw you at your worst and best moments, seen you naked by accident. You’re beautiful and funny but he doesn’t see you as a woman. Yoongi’s eyebrow twitches at the mention of ’knowing too much’ but Jungkook’s next words are the final blow for him to grip the armrest.

”I heard Taehyung is gonna ask her out and I wanted to know what you think about it.” Hoseok schools his features quickly after that, he didn’t know Taehyung liked you like that but he has no right to control your life or tell you who you can consider as a potential love interest. You can like whoever you want, he tried to show you his support when you introduced some of your dates to him and he’s going to keep his promise even when it comes to his friends.

You were always close but after he began to tell you who you can or can’t see your relationship became distant until he realised his mistakes, you forgave him easily because you love your brother a lot and he loves you just as much so after a heartfelt conversation between the two of you he promised not to do that to you ever again.

You’re aware he did this to protect you because you’re his precious little sister and big brothers could get unreasonably overprotective so after you almost drifted apart and even though you two talked it out. The fact that because of a boy you argued with Hoseok you decided you’ll never act on your feelings for Yoongi for the sake of your relationship. Jungkook doesn’t know that’s the main reason you keep avoiding Yoongi but he couldn’t have known because you two never touched upon the subject.

”It’s her decision.” Hoseok shrugs finally and Jungkook nods with a smile eyeing Yoongi who seem to absorb the answer he didn’t think he would get.

You’re aware of your feelings so it’s time for Yoongi to reflect on his thoughts and figure out what he wants.

Jungkook thinks that his plan might just work if he keeps up the good work. You can thank him later.

Taehyung is an unsuspecting victim caught up in Jungkook’s spider web to get you guys together. He likes every kind of art-related stuff and Jungkook showed him some of the origamis you folded for him as he has a few of the smaller ones stuffed inside his wallet under your graduation photo and of course when Taehyung asked you to teach him you agreed with the biggest smile on your face.

You took it as a great opportunity to get to know him better because you’re the least close to him in the group, not because you don’t think he’s a nice guy but before this there were not many occasions to bond with him.

He has the talent for it you realise this soon and you two spend hours inside the art room together folding new pieces after you’re free, he even suggests as a beginner what’s easier to make so the kids can be encouraged rather than making them do hard ones and be disappointed by the end result.

He visits you often and brings you tea to chat about art at first but gradually you get to know more about each other’s personal lives all the while you make origamis together. You skip lunch sometimes when you get too caught up experimenting with new shapes and Jungkook notices the displeased expression on Yoongi’s face every time someone asks about you and Taehyung’s whereabouts just to hear you two are yet again holed up inside the art room laughing and chatting.

He got even grumpier than normal and lashes out without any reason, the others dismiss his behaviour as he probably had a bad day but his best friend knows something is up with him, it’s not like he lashes out on the children because he smiles at them like he used to but his quick mood changes are getting on everyone’s nerves lately. Hoseok knows that something bothers him but every time he asks about it he says it’s nothing.

Jungkook sits beside Hoseok as he goes on and on about he has no idea what’s gotten into Yoongi lately and he’s close to rolling his eyes at him, no wonder you two are siblings he thinks. Both of you are idiots.

Yoongi didn’t show up for breakfast and you’re nowhere to find as well, he knows you’re not with Taehyung because he sits at the table behind him with Jimin and Seokjin telling each other funny stories about the kids. He shows some of the origami pieces he folded and Jimin compliments him while Seokjin tries to stuck one inside his pocket so a friendly banter breaks out at their table.

”.. and he doesn’t even tell me what’s the problem. Hey, Jungkook are you listening to me at all?” Hoseok waves his hand in front of Jungkook’s face who munches on the garnish almost finished with eating while your brother’s plate is full of food because as soon as Jungkook joined him at the table, since he couldn’t find you in the crowd, started complaining about how difficult Yoongi is being as of late and it’s too early to deal with this bullshit.

”Yoongi is upset because Y/N hangs out with Taehyung too much. If you look at the signs you would have seen that he obviously likes your sister but because of that stupid rule you made neither of them is acting upon their feelings for each other.” The outburst momentarily shuts up Hoseok, his mouth hangs open like a fish out of water blinking rapidly and it’s noticeable how the wheels are turning inside his head as he processes the information.

”Yoongi likes my sister?!” The three surrounding tables turn after hearing Hoseok’s signature banshee yell and Jungkook audibly sighs at the shocked expression he’s sporting like he suddenly grew four heads and three legs. He just might because the food is weird sometimes.

You tell Areum you have to pick something up from the art room and you’ll join her a bit later to eat breakfast hiding your hands in your hoodie’s pocket as mornings tend to be on the colder side, she gives you a thumbs up as she walks towards the dining room and you wait until she gets out of sight to turn on your heel.

You visit the art room first but what you’re searching for is not there and you head back to your cabin to see if you brought it back by accident without you realising it.

You made that origami star Taehyung whined to you about. He wanted to make one but it just can’t seem to look like it should be as he showed you his attempts. It took you a few tries to succeed as well since folding the edges were quite tricky to figure out.

On your way to the dining room, you bump into someone and the star you made end up on the ground slipping out of your grip. Raising your head instantly to apologise to the person, you were not ready to face Min Yoongi out of all people, he picks up the origami and hands it back dusting it off before giving it to you.

”Thanks.”

”Uh, everything’s alright? You seem to be in a bad mood.” You’re hesitant to address the elephant in the room, you didn’t really witness his mood swings as others because you spent most of your time in the art room but seeing him now with dark circles under his eyes a grim expression on his handsome face, it speaks volumes of how true it is, and you would hate to get on his bad side because you ask a question everyone probably asked before you.

”I’m fine.” Yoongi tilts his head towards the sky and sighs, you wait for him to say something else but that’s all he does before he walks past you.

You grimace at the lack of response, sure, things were awkward nowadays but he never straight out ignored you like that, he didn’t even look at you while he answered and left just like that.

When you join Jungkook and your brother for breakfast they have a weird aura around them and you’re itching to interrupt their silent talk as they eye each other like you’re not sitting right next to both of them.

What is wrong with anyone today, huh?

”Okay we need to do something, things can’t continue like this.” Jungkook places his hands on each side of his hips as he captures everyone's attention when he climbs on top of one of the tables like he’s about to give a grand speech about something world-rocking kind of important matters.

”I agree. I can’t even say something to Yoongi that doesn’t end with him taking my head off.” Jimin and Taehyung agree immediately since they had to deal with his temper for the most part.

”And what do you suggest we do?” Hoseok puts his weight onto the broom as he speaks, after Jungkook told him that his best friend is in love with his sister everything made sense in a way.

Why he asked about you a lot like how’s school or how’ life going for you, made sure to get something for your birthday every year, he thought that he’s nice to you because you’re his little sister, after all, he told him to treat you right. He couldn’t be more wrong about it, however. They are supposed to be best friends and Hoseok didn’t even know he liked you like that.

”I think you should talk to her Hobi. She doesn’t act on her feelings because she thinks you wouldn’t like them together, maybe if you tell her it’s ok to date each other they will end our suffering. I don’t think I can manage this moody Yoongi for another day he looked like he’s about to murder me in my sleep.” Because of Jungkook’s scheme, Yoongi went extra hard on Taehyung and the poor soul didn’t have a clue why he’s suddenly replaced as Yoongi’s personal punching bag.

Hoseok makes sure to visit your cabin after they are done cleaning and it would be an understatement to say he feels a little nervous. It’s weird that he’s here to tell you to go after his best friend as it is.  

He already had a talk with Yoong in their cabin before he came here and his friend seemed terrified when Hoseok told him he knows that he’s in love with his sister.

All the colour drained from his face and he actually took pity on him that it feels him with so much dread that his best friend knows he likes a girl, even if it’s his sister he’s happy that he found someone he likes.

Hoseok tells him that nothing is going on between you and Taehyung so he should stop torturing him, Jungkook just tried to make him jealous by saying that, it felt nice for both of them to talk openly about everything.

Yoongi told him about the party when he almost kissed her or when they would stay up all night talking to each other about everything and nothing, he shares his genuine feelings and admits that for a while he didn’t know what he felt for her but he wants to be with her.

You had similar reactions like his friend, at first you tried to deny the fact but later when Hoseok reveals everything and speak about Jungkook’s plan, you gave up to lie and instead tell him you liked him for three years and you tried to move on but you couldn’t that’s why none of your previous relationships seemed to work out.

Your brother feels stupid for not seeing the signs, maybe Jungkook was right and he’s really an idiot.

It’s awkward knowing that he feels the same way about you you’re not gonna lie, it feels like a dream but at the same time, you’re afraid one day you’ll wake up and realise all of this was just a fragment of your imagination.

Hoseok’s support was a pleasant surprise and even though you want to strangle your best friend with your bare hands for meddling with your business and literally shouting out to the world you love Min Yoongi to the moon and back moments ago to have everyone witness your face flame up you decide against all expectations and you give him a bone-crushing hug because without him all of this wouldn’t have happened. All that matters is that he likes you back.

”How did you know?” You curiously ask and Jungkook feigns he’s thinking about the answer whilst pinching your cheek, that smirk he wears when he’s about to say something stupid makes you reconsider. You shouldn’t have asked.

”I mean I discovered it recently so you were quite good at hiding it because normally I always sniff out your secrets right off the bat but as soon as I focused on your reactions it was easy to tell.” He points at Yoongi standing a few feet away next to Hoseok and he suddenly burst out laughing.

”I saw you running into a fucking tree when you saw Yoongi wet because Hoseok threw him into the lake.” You clasp your hand over his runny mouth before he can embarrass you further, you were not ready to see Yoongi blush so cutely at the comment while Hoseok doubled over because he laughed so hard seeing your face after Jungkook said that.

You denied it in a high pitched squeal. ”That fucking tree wasn’t there that’s why!” Everyone seemed to find your excuse hilarious as they laughed continuously at your attempts of saving your last piece of dignity but even Yoongi chuckled couldn’t contain his biggest smile to take over his features as he thinks you look so cute when you’re embarrassed, and you like him back.

”Can we see a kiss at least if we had to put up with grumpy Yoongi for an entire week, I really started to fear for my life, you know?” Jimin chimed in, it was endearing to see Yoongi turn bashful in front of you.

”Now that it was brought up Jeon Jungkook I can’t believe you used me like that! I had no idea why you suggested that I try to learn making origamis from Y/N. Our friendship is over!” Taehyung points at your best friend accusingly and he only scratches the back of his neck.

”I did it for a good cause…wait Tae where are you going? Look I’m sorry…” Jungkook chases after the former boy trying to hug him from behind but Taehyung doesn’t reciprocate it and your friend starts whining at that telling him that he’s so sorry while Jimin and the others unoccupied at the moment resumes their staring at the both of you to move and kiss finally.

Even Namjoon and Seokjin who were silent until now joins in and chants alongside the others to ”kiss kiss kiss kissss”

You let out a shy chuckle taking the first steps in his direction and his eyes go wide in surprise when your shoe touch. Kissing his cheek instead you tiptoe to reach his height so you can easily circle your hands around his neck and pull him down to hug you, it reminds you of the hug you shared with him before the whole trip to the summer camp started but this time it felt different.

His embrace was warm and inviting as he held you by your waist his chest vibrated against you as he laughed when your friends demanded a real kiss.

Yoongi found himself sitting beside you inside the art room as you explained how the kids can make bunny-shaped origami out of the grey coloured papers in front of them and his hand immediately found yours under the table to intertwine your fingers together once you sat down next to him.

You try to suppress a smile as you watch over the kids ensuring that they don’t cut themselves with the scissors but your body betrays you as you subconsciously lean into his frame he smells like vanilla extract and chocolate. He showed the kids how to make muffins in today’s lesson, it turned out good because Yoongi measured the ingredients while the kids only mixed and did simple tasks such as portioning out the dough or decorating the top of the treats.

Someone had two or three muffins left on their table as they worked, focused on their folding technique occasionally they stole bites making you and Yoongi giggling under your noses when you would catch chipmunk cheeks.

Yoongi helped you clean up after the lesson throwing out leftover papers and sweeping the floor before you joined the others for lunch.

Things changed in the group’s dynamics after you started dating Yoongi but overall they were happy to see both of you happy.

Even though Jungkook likes to make jokes about how you two are basically joined at the hip for days and soon after starts to complain about how you spend less time with him now that you have a boyfriend, he’s clearly happy for you. It’s a new situation for everyone and Hoseok has a hard time picturing you with his best friend but seeing you so happy with him he supports your relationship wholeheartedly.

After you’re done with the activities for the day you and Yoongi retreat into his cabin as everyone else stays at the campfire. They see the two of you slip away hand in hand, howbeit no one dares to comment on it but you see Jungkook having an inner battle to stop himself from yelling out ’use protection’ luckily Taehyung stuffs his mouth with a handful of chio chips before that could happen.

Your boyfriend pulls you closer by tugging on your intertwined hands caging you between his arms and the door, kissing the corner of your mouth he moves downwards to kiss over your jawline and neck, smiles into the juncture of your neck when you chase after his lips as he pecks your cupid’s bow next, impatient to feel his lips against yours you pull at a fistful of his hair guiding his mouth to capture his lip between your teeth. Yoongi grunts into the kiss tasting your sweet mouth never cease his hunger for you, only leaves him wanting more and more.

”I can’t believe you’re mine.” He seals his words over your feverish skin with in between kisses, marking up your neck, nibbling and kissing every inch until your breath becomes laboured under his sweet attacks.

You weave your fingers into his hair whilst a soft mewl leaves your parted lips as his knee parts your legs to brush against your centre.

He presses his thighs further into your throbbing pussy swallowing the noises you make getting lost in your body heat. He wants to take his time with you licking every corner and dip until you shake and pant his name.

”Wait. What about my brother?” You jump a little when you feel his hand on your ribs travelling up until he cups your breast over the shirt you’re wearing. Kneading your flesh over the fabric your body relaxes into his touch it’s enough to leave you breathless seeing his expression so earnest to please you, pupils dilated as he looks at you under his hooded lids it’s hard to control his urges when you look good enough to eat.

”He stays over at Namjoon’s don’t worry about him.” Yoongi catches your earlobe with his mouth biting down on your shell playfully, the sensation makes you heave a gasp, the words barely registering in your brain.

”Off. I want this off.” Feeling especially bold today you sneak your hands under his shirt caressing his sides with your fingertips, pecking his collarbone that peaks through the collar of his clothing. A whine resonates within your throat when your boyfriend steps back to pull his shirt over his head revealing his stomach and shoulders for your hungry eyes to feast upon disliking the cold air that fills the space once his body is not there to keep you warm, you pull him close diving in to connect your lips in a heated kiss tongue licking into his mouth.

His hands wander under your clothes this time mapping out your smooth skin following the lines of your sides to find the opening on your bra, once he gets the clasp open he traces your spine with his index finger grabbing your ass with both hands as his wandering hands reach south. Your moan gets lost inside his busy mouth that explores your hot cavern at the same time his hands cup you over the fabric of your leggings. It doesn’t give your throbbing pussy justice when he decides to rub your clit and drag his fingers over the dampening material.

”Let’s move things to the bedroom shall we?” The innocent peck he places onto your cheek makes your heart flutter, excitement and love mix inside your veins sweetening your blood as your pulse quickens under his adoring gaze. You nod kissing him again before you let him guide you to his door, not separating from your sensually moving lips as he blindly closes it behind your entangled forms.

He removes your pants and shirt in one go, letting the garments form a pile on the floor promising your sweet release with each removed clothing until the only remaining barrier that keeps your naked glory from his piercing gaze is slipped down your shaved legs, he feels how soaked the material of your cotton underwear had become after so little foreplay and he finds himself insanely turned on by the discovery.

Yoongi eagerly encloses his mouth over your erect bud eliciting airy moans when he alternates between sucks and licks on your sensitive mound paying equal attention to both sides as he massages the neglected one with firm hands whilst he blows air to the saliva coated nipples and watch your expression morph into torturous pleasure but he’s not satisfied with your shy suppressed noises.

Your slick oozes out of your empty opening running down your thighs and stain the bedsheet your clit aches to be touched and your hole clenches around nothing as your lover keeps his head between your boobs kissing and licking your skin there until your nipples get too sensitive to his touch, red and swollen when he rolls it between his fingers. His leg parts your thighs keeping them wide open so you can’t get any stimulation until he decides to move lower.

Seeing how you shake under his body parted lips keep asking him to give you more, he doesn’t have the heart to deny you any longer as he starts to rub your thighs keeping your legs open for him to bury his face between your beautiful cunt swollen and needy for his touch he lets his tongue dip between your folds tasting you first before gently sucking on your clit.

He hears you call his name perfectly in tune with his tongue’s strokes as he intends to eat you up. Your essence covers his chin as he licks your hole clean lapping up everything your precious body can produce for him dipping inside the tip of his tongue your muscles tense up ready to get filled with something bigger and Yoongi’s cock twitches inside the confine of his underwear.

He doesn’t need to remove his undergarments to know his tip is red and slick with his precum desperate to fill your empty hole up but before that, he coats two of his fingers in your wetness and pushes them inside parting your walls gently to ease you into the feeling preparing you to take his cock.

Your hips buck into his hand as he curls his long fingers inside your velvety walls feeling your muscles constrict around his digits he moans with his head thrown back as he imagines his dick getting the same treatment later, your musky scent and visual laying beneath him taking what he gives you drives him crazy with need.

Perking up at the sound you open your eyes blinking to get the blurriness fade dreamy half-lidded eyes watch as his fingers fill you up and you almost close them again because of the pure ecstasy his expert hands give to your overwhelmed body.

You see the painful tent that formed inside his briefs before the numbing pleasure could consume you yet again and there’s a wet spot in the middle that lets you know he gets off on seeing you enjoy yourself. His hips unknowingly to him ruts against the sheets to get some kind of friction realising that he focused solely on your pleasure and put it aside to chase his, he’s so different from the partners you previously slept with and the sudden urge to please him overtakes your selfish side to just receive and receive.

You palm him over the wet spot following the outline of his hard dick to give him some well-deserved relief and he immediately grinds into your palm letting out breathy groans and low moans, you don’t mind at all when he gets lost in your touch instead and momentarily forgets about his goal to get you prepped nicely for his cock. The fingers he has inside you stills and your head clear out a little, you’re able to focus on his face learning what he likes as you study his reactions to your movements, you know his moans will probably become your favourite sounds.

You take advantage of his current state to switch positions, letting his fingers slip out of you as you get rid of his underwear grabbing his thighs to lower yourself while he sits down at the edge of the bed.

Taking his tip into your mouth to taste his precum you feel Yoongi’s nails digging into your scalp as you swallow around him trying to get him into your mouth as much as your poor jaw can handle. Holding the base of his cock to guide him back into your wet cavern you set a slow pace, stroking what you can’t fit.

”You look so good sucking my dick baby.” You learned that he tends to be on the quiet side even in the bedroom, his reactions however are good indicators of how you’re able to affect him with every swirl of your tongue. Letting him use the hand tangled in your hair to set the rhythm of your movements your vision blurs as tears swell in your eyes due to the quickened pace and force he starts to fuck your mouth but he pulls out before he could get too close to cumming.

”I need to have you know. Lie down on the bed with your legs spread wide for me.” You follow his instructions showing him your drenched swollen pussy as he climbs on the bed after you, admiring the way he ruined your cunt before he reaches for a condom retrieving the item from inside his drawer.

He touches himself in front of you watching you squirm under his gaze as you wait for him to roll the condom down his length, your body aches to finally be filled with something bigger.

”Yoongi. Fill me up.” You part your pussy lips for him revealing your hole clenching around nothing, beckoning him to fill you up Yoongi looks at the sinful image in front of him saving this memory of you for later when he’s alone with his hands but today he plans to have your cunt wrapped around his cock rather than his fingers.

Your drenched walls suck him in as he enters you, hips lowering in slow motion to bury his entire length inside, nice and steady, gripping his shoulders for support you moan into the sloppy kiss feeling so full.

You hear his guttural moan loud and clear just as his breath hits the shell of your ear and your walls squeeze around him, wet squelching sounds ring beside your mixed love language thriving off the sounds he grunts directly into your ear encouraging you to meet his movements in the middle.

It feels like you stand in front of the gates of heaven when Yoongi increases his pace thrusting in and out, not being able to stop as he feels his balls tighten with the need to cum he parts your legs even more as he watches his dick emerge from the pussy he owns now coated in your juices taking his hard length and moan out every time his tip curves to touch your sweet spot with each delivered stroke.

You cum first around his dick, he helps you ride out your pleasure only pulling out when you whine from oversensitivity and he rolls the condom off to finish as well, watching your spent pussy glistening with your cum he uses the sight in front of him to get off, he collects your slick to lubricate his shaft as he starts to jerk himself off faster.

Once your breathing evens out and you see the concentration on Yoongi’s face while he lucidly moves his hands up and down his throbbing cock with the desperate need to cum you touch his hips drawing soothing circles onto his sweaty skin taking him back into your mouth to help him reach his high.

He comes in your mouth with a soft cry throwing his head back as you keep sucking him licking his sensitive tip until he pulls your head off with a shaky hand stroking your cheeks with his thumb.

”So friends and family, let me introduce you to my boyfriend Yoongi. You might have already met him before.” You joke in front of your relatives of all ages and you see in the corner of your eyes how Hoseok rolls his eyes.

© helenazbmrskai lll Please do not copy, reblog and like instead!

[aggravatetheaxe]

slamming fists on table give us those headcanons

okokokokok!!

the thing is he's such a complete and well rounded character already it's hard to have headcanons about him really but here is a non exhaustive random list!! this got a lot longer than i anticipated, sorry, i just can't stop talking about him. i had to force myself to quit typing

born 1965 by my own fucked up lil calculations

i'm not dead set on this but i think it would be cute if he owned rats or ferrets

doesn't like cats. probably from bad experiences as a kid :( that's why he got a banana sticker for being nice to this cat

but ya know i think he could get used to a specific cat if he lived with it for a while! they just aren't his cuppa tea

this is actually canon but i just never stop thinking about it: he injured his left knee playing basketball when he was 12 so he's got a slight limp and needs his left pedal loosened

trans gendered , of course

i hc him as bisexual, maybe with a compulsive lean toward the ladies? just because, well, he was queer in the 80s. he had to choose who he was getting with carefully, for more than one reason. later on in life i can see him relaxing more into the full range of his sexuality though. yay for progress!

"pickles" is a family nickname. he doesn't remember why or where he got it, he's just always always been called that. it feels more like his name than anything else, so he just... made it his name! that's why his family never deadnames him - they've never really called him "shannon"

in that same vein i hc he was born shannon kelly. his deadname is one of those things where like he's not traumatized by it (for previously stated reasons) but it just literally is not his name and has never been, so it'd be like calling him... franklin or bob or jessica. like, who? plus, you know, it's pretty disrespectful and where did you hear that name charles have this man killed-

you and i were talking about this the other day, but i think it'd be funny if he doesn't even like pickles. he used to guzzle pickle juice for the electrolytes but he just uses guitarade now. "pickles" slowly became less of a family nickname and more a reference to him constantly being pickled, as in drunk. also a bit of a play on the fact that he does Not have a penis

seth is his older brother! and seth isn't always acutely awful toward him, they are capable of bonding, but mostly he's acutely awful

i hc seth may have helped him out with something bad at one point and that's why pickles feels so beholden to him specifically (in my magpickles fic it's the pregnancy)

doesn't mind having a tdick and a vagina, but he refers to his genitals as his "dick" almost exclusively. the real dysphoria was with his chest and he tended to injure himself binding back in the day

looked like THIS at the age of 16, so we have to believe he was bullied pretty fucking badly in school for being a "dyke," right? that's probably why he can take a beating and is so prepared to get in fights. he's never taken physical violence lying down (even from his family... but their emotional abuse hurts more)

started living as a boy on the road to LA (easier, safer) and everything just....clicked

okay so like... in SNB we see him wearing a beard but honestly that makes no sense to me, historically. no glam metal band on this earth had a member, especially not a frontman, who wasn't clean shaven. but alas, we're stuck with the ahistorical beard. so i'm just gonna say it was false

i know realistically he's probably something like 5'5" but i'm 5'2" and i think it would be hilarious if he was 5'3". i'm not dead set on it though. either way. small

again not really a headcanon, but definitely the one out of the band who can hold his liquor the best

terrified of the institution of marriage, of dating, and indeed anything that is considered "normal" in that regard. two and a half kids and a picket fence sounds like his literal hell world. of course, this is because of trauma and internal issues, and could be worked on, but i don't see him ever wanting kids. he'd rather be an uncle.

tony thunderbottom is his oldest friend and was the person who got him into SNB

in turn, magnus hammersmith was a touring member of SNB for a number of years and pickles hooked him up with dethklok. magnus, pickles, and nathan were the core of the original dethklok (explaining magnus's weird megalomania and insistence that the band is "his"), murderface kind of came as a package deal with nathan, and magnus and/or pickles sniped skwisgaar from smugly dismissed

BUSH. firecrotch

[dilfbane]

It Gets Better(A Silky Pearl)

Summary: It’s been a long time since things have gotten this bad. Loki, returned from his latest mission, lets you know that, with help and support, you can overcome the worst of things, and makes sure you know that he’ll be there with you to get you through it, each and every day. 

Pairing: Loki/Female Reader

Warnings: Reader in this fic struggles with eating disorders. Thoughts and feelings related to these(specifically to anorexia and bulimia), are made throughout the fic, especially those that, in my personal experience, people with these disorders experience. I cannot stress enough that this will be discussed/referenced/talked about, sometimes explicitly(Though not graphically) and sometimes implicitly, so please be aware of that and know that it’s OK to take care of yourself and skip this one if that would be triggering to you! 

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: I want to preface this by saying that there are a LOT of people, both here and on AO3, who have made some amazing Loki/reader oneshots where the reader is struggling with mental health and/or physical health issues, that really provide a sense of warmth and fluff and support to people who may be going through those things themselves, and I’ve taken a lot of comfort in those fics over the course of the pandemic(I’ll be shouting out a couple of them in the tags!). I want to acknowledge that these exist, and that they’re awesome and have partly inspired my own writing, before talking about this little project I’m embarking on. 

Because, while I have gotten a lot of comfort out of many of those pieces of writing, there are definitely some things which I feel like aren’t talked about as much in pieces like these which I have gone through, and which a lot of other people have gone/are going through, and…. I figured that maybe I could take a crack at trying to provide that hit of fluff for people dealing with those things, if I can, and hopefully use my own experience with them to do it in as respecful and accurate a way as possible. 

All that being said, the first oneshot in this little project is going to be dealing with a pretty heavy subject, that being eating disorders. The reader in this fic does struggle with eating disorders - specifically anorexia and bulimia. I will not be actively describing anything too graphic about these disorders in this fic, except to highlight through implication and some sparse details that this is what’s happening here, as well as show some of the inner thought processes of the reader, but there definitely is enough in here to show that that’s what’s going on, so if anyone would be triggered by that, please take care of yourselves and give this one a pass! Also, I will further disclaim that there are many types of eating disorders, and everyone’s experience with them is different. In this oneshot, I wrote based off what I know to have been true during the time in my life when I struggled with the same conditions, and I really tried to make the fluff and support as kind and encouraging as I possibly could. If for ANY REASON there’s something that I did badly at, or something that’s disrespectful, anyone reading this may feel more than free to let me know and I’ll do my best to fix it! I don’t want this fic to be a place where anyone feels hurt or disrespected, that isn’t my intention at all, and if I make a mistake in that regard for any reason whatsoever, I would really appreciate knowing so that I can correct it!

Anyways, after that extremely lengthy A/N, just… please know, if you’re going through something like this, that you’re not alone, that help does exist and is out there, and that you are seen and heard. And take this Loki fluff, because honestly, there can never be too much of that in the world! 

You know that he worries about you. Even before his latest, three-week mission, you know that he worried about you. In the mornings, as you pour your coffee, you watch him watch you with careful nonchalance, gaze boring into the back of your head, slight furrow creasing his eyebrows, frown pulling small at his lips. He dresses early, because he wakes early; it is a battle, most mornings, for you to get out of bed. And so what, if you take your coffee with more creamer than is necessarily normal - it has to last you a long time, this coffee. You need the sugar of it, to get you to that clean pain. It is sharper, more real, than any scalpel, any knife that Loki keeps concealed by his armor; all that fine Asgardian leather, green and supple and him. It gives you back the control that you lack. Lets you be the person that you would be. 

It’s not that you’re afraid of your body, but you are ashamed by it; cannot fathom, even now with his gaze on you, that Loki could love somebody so dreadfully overweight. 

Today, though - Today, you had thought, you had hoped, that it might be different. You don’t know why you have that hope, but it brims up in you; a physical need, a visible yearning, for you to be enough for once. Someone that Loki can stand to look at. Someone that Loki can love. He is looking at you now like he’s seeing you for the first time, and you flinch from the frown that creases his piercing gaze, unable to bear how it roves up the planes of your body; silhoutted in the light coming in through the window, you can feel each ounce of fat that stretches over your sinew, cartilage. (You know that Loki hates your body - He traces it sometimes like he’s probing you, trying to find where your bones are. You wish that you could call him on it, and know that you never could). 

You stand at the counter, and turn from him; rummage in the cabinet for your coffee mug with shaking fingers; you almost feel like they’re rubber. Blue and cold, like his Jotun skin, but you know that it isn’t enough. Pins and needles prick at them - you can almost convince yourself that it’s only your guilt and shame, but you cannot hide from the pain suffusing Loki’s voice when he speaks. 

“Darling,” He says, on a shaky breath, “We need to talk about this.” 

“I know -” You tell him - you know that you can’t run from this, anymore. He knows how you look, how nothing you do is fixing it. And now, he’s going to leave you. “I know, Loki - I tried, Loki, I’m so sorry -“ 

The agony that wells up in you threatens to overwhelm your ability to speak, and you feel your knees buckle the second before you fall. Your kneecaps slam against the cupboard underneath the sink, your head hitting the edge of the counter as you slide down hard to the floor. It hurts. But every part of your body hurts, these days. It’s as constant as your worthlessness. And something else, too - 

He is there, on the floor with you, in less time than it takes place to blink, pulling you hard and desperate into his arms; you don’t understand why, and you try to wrench yourself from him, sobs bubbling up and spilling out from your tightly shut eyes. You can feel the bruises starting to form on you, a lump throbbing at your temple. 

“Love,” He is saying, “Y/N, sweetheart, come back to me. Come back to me, darling, please.” He is stroking your hair; you feel his fingers at its strands, thin and brittle. God, you think, how pathetic you are - you can’t even keep yourself pretty for him, for this god and all the sacrifices that he’s made. You cry harder, unable to stop your own wailing. When you finally do, you’re exhausted - it takes everything out of you. 

“Loki,” You say, on a wretched whine, “I’m so cold.” 

“Hush,” He says, “You’re alright. You’ll be warm soon - We’ll sort it, darling, I promise.” 

You don’t know how to tell him that it isn’t something you can sort, but somehow you know, deep in your heart, that Loki understands. Still, his voice is so sweet, and the shudders that wrack you begin to halt in the steady hold of his embrace; the tender brush of his fingers over your skin. You feel like you can look at him, now, so you do it, sucking your bottom lip into your teeth to steel yourself for the cruel things you’re certain he’ll start with. But Loki’s gaze isn’t angry at you, not full of fury or disgust. They sparkle with unshed tears and concern, emerald in the daylight. It takes you a moment too long to realize all that pain, all that worry, is for you; when you do, though, you flinch away. Feel Loki’s fingers drop from your hairline to your cheek, then your chin, tilting your head up so that you can’t run and hide. 

“I’m losing you, love,” Loki says. His voice is low, and steeped in sorrow. It is his turn to look down, with guilt and shame, and you feel a pang blossom, raw and red, in your heart. He sighs, and straightens his shoulders. He is filled with some new resolution, some new determination you can’t wince away from. 

“I need to know,” Loki tells you, “How long this has been going on. I need to - I need you to tell me why, love. I can’t bear to see you like this.” 

“I can’t,” You say, blinking back a fresh torrent of tears, “Tell you why. It’s not - I can’t - I don’t know.” 

But you know, and Loki does, too. It’s the god of lies, holding you - of course he can tell that you’re lying. It is something other, and runs deep, this bone-y reluctance. A complex game of mental gymnastics. How could you ever tell Loki about the control that it gives you, the desperation with which you used all your calorie-counting and aching restraint to regain the love that you lost? The nights bent over toilet bowls; the way that, sometimes, you empty stomach made you dig your nails hard into your palms ’til they bled, to stop yourself from crying out at the pain. And he loves you - the part of you that craves his affection, that yearns to burrow fast and fierce into Loki’s embrace and spill all your secrets to him, makes sure to remind you of that.

“Y/N,” Says Loki, soft and tender, yet infused with a note so harsh that you would wince, if you could. “You can tell me anything. You need to.” 

You notice things, now, in the face of his determination. You notice that Loki is looking at you like he’s in physical pain, and that there’s something sticky and red on the pads of the fingers that brushed up against your head. 

“I’m bleeding,” You say. It comes out soft, horrified. 

The frown that creases Loki’s face would bring you to your knees, if you weren’t there already. 

“It’s just - a thing that I do,” You tell him, too ashamed to look at his face as you reveal it. “You don’t have to worry about it.” 

“That’s not enough for me, love.” 

Loki’s lips are pursed tight, and the wound in his eyes has hardened to steel. The you part of your body - the fleeing part, the one who knows how to survive - seizes its’ chance and you duck out of his embrace, with far more strength than you had possessed in what felt like, potentially, years. Scrambles, backwards, like a cornered animal, over the tile floor, before heaving itself up to standing. It faces Loki, and its’ breath comes in stabbing-sharp. It is hard to remember that you have to call it ‘myself’. You feel older than you were, yesterday, and you cannot, quite, get air to come into your lungs. That’s not enough for me, you hear your lover say, ringing in your ears like a hyena’s howl. 

You’re not enough for me, love. Your fingers spasm, clutching the sides of the kitchen table white-knuckled. You wonder, fleetingly, what Loki would do if you died. The thought makes you cry out in pain, a whimper ripping out from a throat rubbed fingernail-raw, but Loki does not move to stand. 

“Come back to me,” He tells you, spiked with sorrow and need. And, perhaps for the first time, you admit it - to yourself, as much as to him. 

“I don’t - I don’t think I know how.” 

He smiles the smiole of someone who’s seen his own pain, faced his own lashing demons, and you pause to take him in fully, this god who says that he loves you, the man he is trying to be. You catch on hixs eyes, those bright emerald coins, his hair like the feathers of crows. His high, pale cheekbones, and his silver-tongue cut like glass. The pads of his fingertips, slender and cold, tender and fierce on your skin or the hilt of a dagger. You breathe in the smell of him, parchment and iron; peppermint tea and the smoke from a lorn, crimson fire. Wet leaves, after a rain. You feel your resolve start to waver. 

“Well,” He says, all thoughtful, all trickster, “Sitting down, I believe, would be a good place to begin.” 

The teasing lilt of his voice - an act that he is putting on, and all for you, always for you - cajoles you, coaxing you to lever your elbows and slide back down onto the floor, your weary legs feeling unimaginably grateful. Loki shoots you a new smile now, light and proud. He beckons you, with a cock of his head and a slim, fond gesture, to him - Of a sudden, the tiles beneath you seem like a desert, an ocean. You feel the weight of your emptiness. It laughs at you, its’ white teeth filed and barred. In your head, your failure is heavy; a hot and cackling creature with seven-foot claws pressing down on your chest, restricting your matchstick limbs. You are lost to the unyielding insistence of it, trapped in the maw of its cage, and Loki’s words, when they come, sound as far away as the shores of a country ancient and foreign. 

“I was hardly gone,” He is saying, but you cannot answer him. “How could it have gotten this bad?” 

It is that - that sadness, that fear in your lover - that breaks you, and you take the thing at a clumsy, terror-steeped sprint, not caring how wretched you look, so long as you can reach him - So long, you finally let yourself think, as there is something left of you for Loki to hold in his arms. Your body hurts worse than anything. You feel every scrape and bruise and chill on it; the pins and knives working at oxygen-starved nerves, and the gnawing clamp of your hunger, a brand pressing into your gut; and you know that Loki can’t save you. But maybe, just maybe, you can find some way to save yourself. And his fingers are there, going up to your hair, thumb rubbing at a hollow cheek and catching the salty dirge of an errant tear. 

“It gets better, you know,” Loki tells you. He gets you onto his lap; you feel his heartbeat under your palms where you clutch tightly at his shirt to hold yourself up. A steady, thrumming proof that he is alive. And when he says it, you get the sense that, somehow, you’ve always know it, this whispered secret he’s weaving into your soul. “If you get proper help for it. If you want it to.” 

He speaks casually, but there is a weight to his words. Miraculously - you’re not quite so sure how - you find yourself able to meet them. 

“I want it to,” You tell him. “I didn’t, before - “ And here his eyes widen, and he shakes his head like you’ve shot him - “But I do. I want to -“ 

“Alright, love,” He tells you, running a soothing hand down over your side, past the hard planes of your collarbone, “Alright. It’s okay. You’re such a strong person- It’s going to be hard, for awhile, but I know that you can get through this. I’ll be right here with you, darling. Right here, by your side.” 

“You will?” You ask him, voice cracking, hardly daring to hope that despite all this, he would stay. He chuckles, sadly, as if your thinking it hurts him, and he is deadly serious when he tells you,

“Y/N, of course I will.” 

Somehow, though he’s the god of lies, you don’t doubt his words for an instant. You nod, and the nodding takes effort. Yet you are certain he understands what you mean. 

“So,” Says Loki, “Can you - Tell me about this?” 

You have to think, for a minute. Can you tell Loki about this? You know that he’s telling the truth, that he isn’t going to leave you. Still, you’ve never been this vulnerable with him before, not even in bed, and the fear in you won’t be put to rest so easily. You shake in his hold, and realize, with a frigid shock, how you must look to him - how badly you are hurting him, and how badly you’re hurting yourself, by keeping your feelings inside yourself and leaving your body to rot. You know, now, that Loki will  help you through this - that he will be there, kind touches skirting the bad days; warm, mischevious smirks smoothing the wrinkles of your persistent self-doubts. There was a time when you needed to do this - there will, probably, still be days when you feel like you need to do this, to get a firm hold over your life, and keep the jackals at bay. There are other words to keep yourself safe, though. Loki’s breath in the dark is more home to you than anything you’ve ever had, and his open waiting, here in the daylight, makes you brave enough to speak. 

“Maybe… Over lunch?” You offer. You bite your lip and hold out the query, a silky pearl in your hand. For one moment, Loki seems to consider; after all, he is the trickster, and a man not given to acting rashly, or stripping the drama from his complicated schemes. If this is a scheme, you think that you might forgive him - Later, when his lips are on your frame, when you’re there with him, again. His lips twitch into a grin so affectionate and proud that you know- you know - that if you seek proper care and really want to get better, you’ll get through the days that feel like walking on broken glass. You’ve done so much for me, that grin tells you. Let me do this for you.

He reaches out, and takes the pearl. You hardly recognize the man who rained hell down on New York, who snorts and jabs with sarcasm at every word that comes out of Iron Man’s mouth. 

“Breakfast?” He counters, shooting a pointed glance at the microwave clock. It is a dare and a promise - a challenge, but never a trick. It tastes like honey on your tongue. 

“Fine,” You say, “But you’ll have to cook.” Some kind of joy is creeping its way into you. Your voice, you find, barely trembles. 

“Midgardians,” Lok says, with an eye-roll - a friendly, loving glint in his eyes that refuses to fade. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who burns water.” The joke prods your tender, new understanding, reassures you that he is still Loki; that he isn’t going to treat you differently, like a child, just because you’re suffering. The smile comes full onto you, and you wriggle, stretching your arms over your head and yawning, exaggerated for effect to add to the banter. 

“I never said that I couldn’t cook,” You tell Loki, “Just wanted you to do it.” 

“Mm,” He says, “And what will you be doing, then, while I cook?” 

You chew at your lip, and choose to answer before your nerves make you panic. 

“Finding the right words,” You admit, laying the truth bare to him. 

His hands are wending through your hair now, and his lips are unberarably gentle on yours. He tastes like embers and ink. That sweet, slightly metalic tang that you’ve come to associate with his magic; cinnamon, tinged with steel. He kisses you for a second or two, before pulling away,  but you could live in those seconds - Unfold it, like a blanket, and let the care of it warm your thin, freezing bones, if Loki weren’t here to show you that, with the right help, you can learn how to do it yourself. 

“Finding the right words,” Loki muses, vaulting himself up to stand in a movement that’s unfairly graceful. “I’d much prefer yours, to be honest.” 

He holds a hand out, and you take it, letting him pull you up. The floor, underneath you, feels solid. The sun is coming through the clouds, and out there in the wide world you can hear bird-song, the low, sugared sway of the breeze. There is something else there, too: 

You let it wrap its tendrils around you, and you decide that it’s hope. 

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

Wrecker NSFW Alphabet Headcannons

Involes 18+ headcannons I mean it is the NSFW Headcannons for a reason-

A=Aftercare - What they do/act like after sex.

Cuddling galore

B=Bondage - Are they into BDSM, and how far they'll go if they have a green light.

No not really, he likes the ideas and has a fantasy but never really ask, oh and he wouldnt want it on you- he wants it on him.

But he also thinks those collar chokers are hot on u- you know the one with the spikes, big or small- preferable small spikes- hes poked himself with the big ones

C=Cum - pretty self-explanatory.

You cant ever take it all, its thick and definitely a large load. He likes stuffing you with it as you mewel in pleasure.

D=Dom - Are they dominant, submissive, a switch?

Was a total sub before you leading him through it, showing he wasnt going to hurt her as a dom.

Hes a switch now.

E=Edgeplay - Similar to 'Kinks' except it's a lot riskier than usual kinks (knifeplay, breathplay, etc.)

F=Fantasy - A fantasy of theirs (ex: a teacher/student )

Yeah no hes good

Being tied to a chair and you giving him a lap dance or being tied up and used (consensually) in general so he wants to put his hands on you but cant.

G=Got Caught - How they react when they get caught having sex.

"Oh. Hey guys..." and tries to Casually cover you up

H=Hot Spots - A place that drives them crazy when stimulated

His neck and his chest.

I=Intimacy - How romantic they are, or can be, before, during, or after sex.

Guys its Wrecker, of course love like too the max all day everyday period.

K=Kinks - list a few of their kinks, be they the normalized ones or kinkier kinks.

J=Journey - Their ideal way of leading up to sex.

A warm make out session that went to far with consent

L=Location - Where they like to have sex at, do they like risky locations, etc.

Dominance his partner ontop always makes him feel horny

Anywhere your comfortable, except in extreme public like at dinner, but in the bathroom oh for sure.

M=Masturbation - How they are when they get themselves off, what they get themselves off to.

He thinks of you, and you telling him what to do, how fast to go jack himself off or how slow.

N=NO - A few things that they will absolutely, under no circumstances, ever do.

Contuine if your whimpering or saying no, he'd know others would maybe just think of it as a moan but he always makes sure your comfortable

O=On's - Their top turn on's that they have (things that'll get them super horny super quickly).

You in tight fitted clone armor, hugging every curve

Lingere, especially if its a one peice swim suit deal, or a matching bralet and panty set with stocking and garters, hes even more horny if there the panties with a slit in them.

You in lace, especially if its red, white or black- maybe even all of them combined.

You standing up to his brothers and he dont mean just because there teasing- he means to squadrons of regs, and even soemtimes his closest brothers in clone force 99

P=Position - Their favorite position to have sex in.

Missionary or any varation because damn does he love those expressions you make, also he feels like hes being disrespectful if you dressed all pretty and sexy for him (like in lingerie) just to turn you around to fuck you doggy, but if you wanted to try doggy he'd be up for it.

Q=Quickie - Do they like it, do they prefer quickies over actual sex, etc.

Maybe once or twice you've been able to sneak away, usually when 79's is busy you two sneak away, your dress pulled up just above your breast showing your perky nipples and panties off on the floor, a leg on his hip as he fucked you.

He actually likes them alot, not over real sex but he likes seeing you pleased when he can please you.

R=Rough - How rough they are, or get, when in bed.

He really watches himself if he gets rough, scared to actually hurt you. He usually not too rough with you, but sometimes, like in the refresher it just slips and be becomes slightly animalistic, you're not complaining- sure it was hard to walk after but you'd do it all over again.

S=Stamina - How long they can go before they tap out.

Dont get me started

T=Toys - Do use toys, do they own them, what kind, etc.

No need he has you

U=Unfair - How much they tease you, how they tease you, etc.

He isnt unfair because in the end he'd just be teasing himself

V=Volume - How loud they get when having sex, things they might say, etc.

He can get loud, especially if your on top of him, he may beg or plead with you.

W=Wild Card - a random letter for the character of your choice.

S= Scenerios write a smexy scene or the ending of having it- something nsfw

She had begged Wrecker for it all day, and now she finally had it. Wrecker had her bent over and braced against the wall of the refresher stall of 79s. Thrusting deep in her cunt as she clenched around him. Her stomach in knots and her knees weak.

"H-harder!" She begged, Wrecker bent over her form as he held her hips. Groaning heavily in her ear she cried out as he slammed into her harder.

He hadn't even bothered with her panties or her dress. Her dress half way pulled up and panties pullled to the side as he destroyed her gut.

Crying out for a final time her stomach snapped as she groaned.

"Take it Mesh'la. All of it." He told her softly, his thrust becoming sloppy as he fucked her through her high.

Her eyes pricked with pleasurable tears and drool running down her chin as he slammed into her for a final time.

X=X-Ray - How they look with their clothes off.

She cried in pleasure as he groaned into her shoulder, his cum pouring into her already stuffed cunt.

He's big all around- Everything is big- hes a big guy

Y=Yearning - How often they need to have sex.

He ca go long periods without havibg sex like the others can you known because of oh I dont know- war. But he'd like to please you atleast three times in a week.

Z=ZZZ - How quickly they fall asleep after having sex.

He tries not to fall asleep quickly, but he will always hold you no matter what after.

[harryhandstan]

u know that tiktok prank where the child is rude to their mother as a prank to their dad and see how they react?? can u do a fic where ur child and u do that prank on harry? sorry if that made no sense x

I spend way too much time on tiktok so I knew exactly which trend you meant! It made perfect sense, no worries. I’m only sorry it took me so long and hope you enjoy it!

This is also my first time writing Harry as an established dad..everything else Dad!Harry I’ve written has been pre-dad Harry when the reader is still pregnant. I also left the gender of the child up to the reader’s imagination hope that’s okay!

I really wish I was creative enough to come up with a title but I haven’t had any sleep so here’s 1.4k of Dad!Harry below :) ran it through a spell check and proofread it myself but no beta reader so I apologize for any mistakes!

“Now remember, you’re not really mad at mummy, but we have to make daddy think you are, okay? You have to sound really mean.”

Your 4 year old nods, that same glint of mischief in their eyes that you’d seen in Harry’s countless times before. They were all too eager to share in the prank that you’d planned the night before. 

“Promise I won’t be in trouble, mumma?”

Harry wasn’t easy to surprise, would often figure out quickly what you were up to, but he would never suspect you to rope your child into something so sly and devious. But the second you saw the trend, you knew it was something you at least had to attempt. It was harmless, and even if he did get upset, he would never stay mad for long.

You kiss your child’s forehead, “‘Course not, baby. Just a little joke we’re playing on daddy, alright?”

They nod again, and you question for a second if maybe this is too cruel. But then your child straightens, looks up at you with a big grin on their face and says, “Ready!”

It was business as usual here in the Styles household, an early morning rushing through breakfast and getting your child ready for school. Harry had offered to clean up the breakfast mess while you assisted your little one with whatever they needed to prepare for their day. Normally, you were running late, rushing through your routine and getting out the door later than planned. But this morning, you had sneakily outlined everything earlier so you could hopefully pull everything off in a timely manner.

So when you hear the water to the sink in the kitchen shut off, you know he’s done with the dishes and only seconds from climbing the stairs to get himself ready for the day. He’ll be close enough to hear the argument, but far enough away that hopefully you can compose yourself enough to make him believe it’s real.

“Here he comes, now!” 

Your child springs into action, quickly running to the doorway of their room and shouting, “I hate you, Mummy!” before slamming the door as hard as their little body could. You have to admit it was convincing, if you didn’t know it was a prank, the sting of the words would have truly cut right through your heart. This child was your baby, your love, the perfect mixture of yourself and Harry.

His feet are just landing on the top stair at the slam of the door, and you can tell by the genuine shock on his face that he believes it was real. It’s your turn to play your part, so you turn to him, face scrunched up in mock sadness. You even impress yourself, managing to squeeze a tear from your eye to add that much more to the scene.

You stifle a laugh at how suddenly his face turns from surprise to displeasure. You muffle it enough it sounds like a sob, and he glances between you and your child’s door, not sure which to attend to first. He chooses you, hoping he didn’t hear what he thought he just heard. Surely between the two of you as parents, your child would know better than to act such a way. Sure they tended to get sassy every now and again, but this was a new level of disrespect that he was in disbelief of.

“What’s happened? Leave you two alone for 5 minutes..”

You shrug, “Just offered to help pick out clothes for school and..” You bury your face in your hands, fearing you’ll break out into laughter and ruin it too suddenly. You know if he gets close enough, he’ll be able to see right through the façade and determine it was false.

“S’alright, love.” He touches your elbow, then bends to kiss the top of your head before turning back towards your child’s bedroom door, “I’ll talk to ‘em.”

His footsteps are falling heavier across the floor now and you almost stop him right then and there, confess it’s all fake. You know your child’s not in danger of any real punishment, truth is you were normally the one that had to be firm when it was necessary. Harry was too soft, always forgiving too quickly and not following through with consequences. But this was serious, he would not have his child speak so rudely to anyone, especially their mother.

He tosses the door open, trying his best to cast a stern look across his face. Not so harsh as to scare them, just enough that they know how unacceptable their behavior was. He leaves the door open behind him and you move closer to listen, curious to see just how long your child lasts before they give up the secret the two of you share.

You stand just outside of the door, hear the squeak of the mattress you’re sure was caused by Harry sitting on the edge of it. You can just see your child, fully committed to this charade, thrown across the bed, an arm dramatically covering their face. Like you said, a perfect mix of you and Harry, but definitely getting more of the dramatic side from you. 

Harry keeps his voice low and calm enough that you don’t make out all of what is said, but when you hear the phrase “apologize to mummy” you take that as your cue to join them, leaning against the frame of the open door. There’s a quick exchange of a look between you and your child, who sits on the edge of the bed next to Harry, still in their rainbow pajamas, hair a ruffled mess of curls from how they had slept the night before. You bring a finger to your lips, a reminder not to say anything yet, before poking your lip out just enough to look upset again.

You almost have to suppress another laugh as your baby sits up on their little knees, leaning close to Harry’s face to the point their noses are almost touching, hands on their hips. They’re precariously balancing themselves, but determined to look their father in the eye when they say, “NO. Won’t say sorry cause Mumma was mean to me.”

Though your child had been stubborn and reluctant to do things in the past, they had never outright refused to do something they were instructed to do. Harry’s mouth opens to say something, but it closes just as rapidly, awe written on his face as he looks up at you. You try to mimic his expression, a hand in front of your open mouth to add a more theatrical flare to your features. His hands come to rest on the child’s shoulders, more in fear of them falling off the bed than anything. He lifts them to sit in his lap, bending to look right in their eyes as he says, “Bubs, what has gotten into you today? You wanna be in trouble?”

The child wiggles expertly out of his grip, running to where you bend to scoop them up, hugging them close with a hand behind their head. Harry’s face is even more puzzled, truly baffled by your child’s behavior. You just shrug at him again, hand continuing to work through the soft, light brown curls on your little one’s head.

Finally, you break the silence, giggle bursting out of you before you whisper loud enough for Harry to hear, “Should we tell him now, lovie?”

The babe looks at you and then back to Harry before returning your laugh, “I think so, mumma.”

“S’all a joke? You BRATS I knew y’were up to somethin’!” He narrows his eyes at the two of you before pointing his finger at you, “M’gonna get ya back for this, s’not nice to tease.”

He lifts himself from his spot on the small twin bed, wiggling his fingers at the child now clinging tighter and squealing with laughter at the idea of being tickled by their dad. 

“G’nna get you too, bub,” He tugs the squirming child from your arms, raising them upwards and spinning with them once before bending to press kisses to their tummy, only causing the squeals to become louder. They put their little hands on his cheeks, “Stop, daddy! Hafta get ready for school!”

“Oh now ya wanna be good and get ready like y’were supposed to be doing? Right then, off you go.” He lands them softly on their feet, final kiss to their cheek, turning them to the dresser in the corner of the room.

He turns back to you, a smirk tugging once side of his mouth upwards. He leans to whisper, keeping his voice low in case the babe were to hear, “I’ll take bub to school this mornin’.” 

He squeezes your hip, “Hope mummy’s ready f’her lesson about why s’not nice to tease daddy when I get back.”

[cuttinqlines]

IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR

                                 IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR I

(richard ramirez [ahs 1984] x reader | mainly implied xavier plympton x reader)

trigger warning; drug use, toxic relationships, mentions of abuse, toxic characters, xavier is portrayed as a major piece of shit for the first few installments, glorification of a serial killer, knives, etc.

disclaimer: i do not support the real richard ramirez in any way, shape, or form. this is simply based on the fictional version from ahs 1984. no disrespect is intended in any way. please, feel free to click off of the fic if you don’t enjoy this type of content. any hate will be ignored.

word count: ?

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BILLY IDOL blared softly out of the large window, casting an eerie echo out onto the empty street below. The street lights cast a soft glow into the otherwise dark apartment, illuminating your face. You sat alone on your bed clad only in the white lingerie you hadn’t bothered to strip out of. The dark silk sheets of your bed were lazily draped over you, your comforter discarded on the ground beside the bed. You stared up at the ceiling blankly. Your thoughts were racing, a mixture of deep-seated rage and numbness eating at you. The day had been shit to say the very least, with a certain blonde wanna-be actor to blame.

“Fuck,” you muttered out loud, rubbing both of your temples lightly, “I need a bump.”

Slowly sliding your legs out from under your sheets, you stepped down onto the floor. The cold air hit your legs, causing you to let out a barely audible hiss. You could hardly see in the darkness, only making out the faint outline of your vanity that was placed adjacent to the large window. The thought of turning on the light briefly crossed your mind, but you hardly wanted to see yourself in the mirror.

A soft sigh escaped your lips. Your hands fumbled around in the top draw of the vanity, searching for the mirrored tray that was tucked just out of sight. Through the noise of the shifting of the contents of the drawer, a soft thud of shoes against the marble tile sounded. You hardly would’ve noticed it if it had been any other day. You rarely paid attention to the little things going on around you, living only in your own little world. It was harder to get attached that way- harder to get attached to things, to people.

Tonight, though, you were on high alert. All of the hairs on the back of your neck seemed to stand up. You took a step back from the vanity, cringing as the wood floor beneath you seemed to creak. You heard the thud of shoes again, but it was louder. Closer. “Xavier-” you called out, your voice wavering slightly. “If that’s you, get the fuck out of my apartment.”

The sound of a deep laugh filled your ears. It was unfamiliar. You had definitely given away your location, that much was clear. There was a stranger, a criminal, in your home and you had lost the one advantage you might have had. “Guess again, baby girl.”

Chills ran down your spine. The intruder’s voice was sinister. Yet, you found yourself being drawn to it, despite every fiber of your being urging you to hide. It was as if the devil himself had crept in and came to collect your soul. A shiver ran through you. You needed to get it together. More importantly, you needed a weapon. Luckily, your vanity seemed to be full of them. Well, it was full of blunt objects and that was more than good enough for you. Dying was not on your agenda, especially not today.

You took a tentative step forward, careful not to step on the same creaky floorboard from a few moments ago. Spotting a lamp to the side of the vanity top, you reached for it with one hand while the other flicked the lights attached to the gaudy mirror. Most of the bulbs had burnt out previously, you not having been bothered enough to change them. You were rarely home most nights anyways. With three of the bulbs still burning, you would at least be able to see the guy coming, instead of continuing to stumble through the dark.

The sudden light seemed to attract the intruder, like a moth drawn to a lamp. You could see the tops of his shoes stop in front of the door. Nervousness flooded your veins, though you didn’t have it in you to be completely afraid. All of the fear that your body could have possibly held had been taken from you by someone else. Pushing the nervousness now, you took a silent step back towards the wall.

The door swung open quietly, your eyes quickly moved towards the dark figure who had just burst in. His dark eyes scoured your scantily clad body, stopping at the base of the lamp you had an iron grip on. His facial expression flickered from one predator eyeing his prey to amused. He let out another laugh. It seemed to make his face light up. In any other circumstances, you would be enchanted by his handsome features. “Is that seriously all you got? I hate to break it to you, but that won’t be enough to stop the Night Stalker.”

He grinned sinisterly. “You’ll be famous, though. I’m going down in history. Doing the master’s work always gets the headlin-” He stopped mid-sentence, his gaze meeting your face. He studied it for a moment, his eyes feeling as if they were burning holes into your skin. “What happened to your face? Did somebody else get you?”

You couldn’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously. Was this his version of playing with his food before eating it? Why would it possibly matter enough for him to stop his clearly well-rehearsed speech? Still, at the mention of your face, your free hand carefully went to the deep bruise that had blossomed underneath your left eye. “‘Did somebody else get me?’” You couldn’t help but mock. However, your tune quickly changed when his hand seemed to grip his blade a little tighter and his feet took him a step closer.

“Somebody else got me, yeah. They always do. You’re about to, too. A robbery gone wrong, am I right?” your voice had gone soft, bitterness etched into every word. You knew that you should be afraid and you were extremely prepared to knock him over the head with your lamp, but at least he was someone to talk to. Something that had become scarce in your daily life.

The man took a few more steps forward until he was face to face with you. His eyes met yours more intently than before as if they were searching for something. He shifted his blade to his left hand, slamming his right hand into the wall directly beside your face. He had you boxed in, the smell of cigarettes and cinnamon filling your nose. Your breath caught in your throat. He brought the blade up to your face, dragging his thumb ever so lightly across the bruise under your eye. He brought his hand down to softly caress your face, the blade scraping your skin too lightly to leave a mark. “You know,” he said after what felt like decades, “you look like a fallen angel. Like a flesh for fantasy.”

Your heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might escape your chest. Every word he spoke caused your heart to skip a beat. He had an intensity about him. It seemed to add gasoline to the fire that was already burning around you. “And you look like the devil.”

“I could never live up to that, but fuck I am trying- It’s the ones like you that make it difficult. There’s so much untapped potential that I can taste it. I can feel your rage, little mama. And it burns. Give it to us.” His voice was hardly more than a whisper now. He brought the blade down until it was caressing your throat.

You dropped the lamp. It landed on the floor with a dull thud and surprisingly didn’t shatter. You couldn’t move now. You didn’t want to. So many feelings were overwhelming you. You weren’t exactly sure what he meant when he said ‘Give it to us’, but you wanted to give it to him. The rage, the numbness, the evil, the ‘perfect’ life that had been eating you alive. You would have thrown it in the fire right then and there, but you held yourself back. “I can’t.”

Annoyance and anger shifted across his face and his right hand slammed into the wall harder. He pushed back, pulling the blade back from off of your throat. He tilted his head towards you, moving to whisper in your ear. His lips grazed against them slightly as he spoke. “Giving in to the rage isn’t so bad. You just don’t know how to be free. I can teach you. ”

He moved away from you, his eyes flickering over to the vanity. The tray of white powder and wads of cash caught his eyes. He took a step towards the vanity slowly. “You can think about it. I’ll find you soon. Satan will show me the way. Tonight though, the devil is owed his dues. I’m taking the coke and cash. Next time, I’m taking you. You know you want to dance with the devil, baby girl.”

Before you could let out another word, he was out the window and off into the night.

[elliesguitarstrings]

YOUR LAST BLURB WAS SO CUTE can you write a part 2 where the reader is having a hard time to understand what the waiter is saying cause he's talking too fast and english is not her first language, so the waiter is really rude to her and Peter gets pissed?

ahhh thank you and yes we love protective peter hehe. this ended up being longer than I expected but oh well :)

Warnings: language, sorta angst

It’s been one week since you first met Peter, and the two of you have already gotten close. After his tour of New York on the first day you met, the two of you have hung out every day after school, stopping at Delmar’s and touring the city. It wasn’t until yesterday that he finally asked you out, on a real date.

You’re going to a fancy Italian restaurant a few blocks from your house and you could not be more excited. Sure, you are a little nervous, but you know everything is going to be perfectly fine. What could possibly go wrong?

You hear a knock at your door, and you look out the window to see Peter standing outside, holding a single rose. You smile, quickly check your outfit, hair, and makeup in the mirror, and rush downstairs to greet Peter. When you open the door, Peter holds out the rose with an adorable smile. 

“I got this for you. I, uhm, I would have gotten more flowers but I wanted to save up for dinner and everything-”

You cut him off by taking the rose from his hand and practically throwing yourself at him, hugging him tightly. 

“Peter, it’s perfect. Thank you.”

“Oh, um, you’re welcome,” he blushes, “should we get going then?”

“Yeah, let me just grab my purse.”

You run upstairs to grab your bag, making sure you have everything, and quickly run back down and out the door to Peter, saying a quick goodbye to your parents as you leave.

Once you arrive at the restaurant, you immediately notice how packed it is. You barely have enough room to fit all the way past the door, and it takes you almost five minutes to navigate through the swarm of people to reach the front desk. 

“Hi, reservation for Parker at 6:15,” Peter yells over the noisy crowd in the lobby.

“Party of two?” the hostess asks.

“Yes, that would be us.”

“Alright sir, we’ll get you two a table as soon as possible, but we’re extremely backed up tonight so it may be a while, is that okay?”

Peter looks at you, questioningly, and you nod your head. 

“Yes, that's fine, thank you.”

The lady hands Peter a buzzer, and the two of you shuffle back through the crowd, finding a small bench near the front entrance to sit and wait.

Twenty minutes later, the buzzer still hasn’t gone off, and Peter is quite visibly annoyed.

“I’m sorry Y/N, we should have just gone somewhere else, this isn’t how I wanted our night to go. At this rate we won’t be eating for another hour,” he huffs.

You take his hand in an effort to calm him down, “Peter don’t worry about it. As long as I’m here with you, I’ll be perfectly happy. They’re just a little backed up, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” you smile, leaning your head onto his shoulder as you wait.

Finally, after about fifteen more minutes, your buzzer goes off. You and Peter get up and once again navigate through the large crowd back to the front desk. The hostess leads you to a small table towards the back of the restaurant, and you thank her as you take your seat and she hands you the menu.

You and Peter look over the menu, trying to see what looks good, but also what is the least expensive. Soon, you see the waiter quickly walking over to your table.

“Hi there, my name is Jackson and I’ll be your server for tonight! Have either of you been here before?” 

“No, this is our first time,” Peter responds.

“Alright then, let me give you a quick rundown of what we have to offer...”

The waiter starts talking fast, and you start having trouble understanding him. English isn’t your first language, and normally you have no trouble understanding it. However, with the combination of his quick talking and the noisy crowd, you can barely understand a word the man is saying. It all just sounds like a jumbled mush of incomprehensible random words, and you start to panic.

“Um, sir, I’m so sorry, would you mind slowing down and speaking a little louder? It’s a bit hard for me to understand you,” you ask timidly.

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that,” the waiter replies dismissively. 

He continues talking, but his pace doesn’t change. It’s still extremely hard to understand him, so you speak up again.

“Sir? It’s still really hard for me to hear you, could you slow down just a little more please?”

The waiter rolls his eyes, visibly frustrated, “Look, as you can tell, we’re extremely busy. I have other tables to attend to and a teenage girl who can’t seem to understand basic English is obviously not my first priority. I’m not going to spend the entire night spelling out every single word just so you can understand me. Everything is on the menu, so just look at that, or can you not read that either?”

You look down at your feet, extremely embarrassed, and on the verge of tears. Peter, however, is fuming. He stands up, face to face with the waiter.

“What the fuck did you just say to her?”

You look up at him, “Peter, please, it’s really not a big deal, don’t make a scene.”

“No! I’m sorry Y/N, but I’m not gonna let this asshole talk to you like that,” he turns back to the waiter,��“apologize to her right now.”

“No, I’m not going to apologize to her, she can’t even understand what I’m saying.”

Peter slams his fists down on the table, shaking the drinks and silverware, “DON’T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT. APOLOGIZE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW YOU ASSHOLE.”

“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave, this is extremely disrespectful to the other guests who are trying to dine here,” the waiter snarkily comments.

“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S BEING DISRESPECTFUL TO HER-”

The waiter cuts him off by calling over his manager, who escorts both you and Peter out of the restaurant, all while Peter continues to scream insults at him. 

“FUCKING ASSHOLE!” Peter calls out one last time as the rude waiter slams the door in both of your faces. 

Peter looks over to you apologetically, “I’m so so sorry Y/N, that was so rude of him, I can’t believe that dick - why the fuck are you smiling?”

“You called me your girlfriend,” you giggle.

Peter blushes profusely, “Shit, I did, didn’t I. I’m sorry if that was too far, it just kinda came out in the heat of the moment.”

“It’s okay,” you grin, “boyfriend.”

Peter smiles wide and takes your hand, “What do you say we get out of here and head to Delmar’s instead.”

“I say let’s definitely do that.”

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Mice in the Walls

CW: stalking, implied parental abuse, implied victim cutting ties with abuser, captivity, “it” as a pronoun meant to demean, choking, hitting, implied delusions, angry whumper, controlling whumper. 

Please read the CWs on this one. I’ll be more than happy to give you a general summary if you need (will probably do so anyway) let me know if you want a specific tag, and I’ll tag everything with this topic “Bernard tw” as he’s the culprit. 

Stay Safe loves, and do what’s best for you. 

[First Part] 

The doorbell rang and Bernard took a breath. As he opened the door, he put on his smile. The friendly smile, the inviting smile. The one he used at work and for the cashier at the checkout lane.

The mask. 

“Steven! How the hell are you?” he asked cheerfully, reaching out for a firm handshake. 

“Doing well, life’s just a joy.” The body smiled back at him, cheap wine in its hand and absurdly  ignorant of how pedestrian and mediocre its life was. Bernards eye’s skimmed over the man’s obnoxious shirt pattern, its ill filling slacks and cheap shoe polish before opening the door wider and gesturing it in with a smile. 

“Well, I didn’t invite you over just to stand on my porch! Come on in, lunch’s almost ready.” He had prepared some simple things, mostly store bought. He had no intention of trying to impress this pawn. 

“So Bernie, what’s new in the Wright household?” Steven asked lightly, setting down the bottle of wine and peering at the others displayed. Perhaps it would spark some recognition of how abject of a gift that had been. 

Bernard doubted. 

“Nothing much, Steve. Just livin the good life,” he recited as he ventured into the kitchen. 

“How’s Adam doing?” 

Bernard kept his back to the man, dishing out the potato salad. 

“Oh good, getting ready to graduate.” 

He could feel Steven pause behind him. 

“Oh? I thought something got jostled when he moved schools?” 

He bristled. Adam had moved, again. Always moving, blocking his numbers, spreading lies about him. How did he not realize that he just wanted the best for him? That he could help, that he could be a resource? The world wasn’t what Adam though it was, it was dangerous and hateful and-

The plastic container cracked. 

“What was that?” Steven asked, popping its head over Bernard’s shoulder. 

“Damn cheap plastic. Good thing I already got some out, eh?” His voice was pitched light and jovial, softly concealing his rage.  He put the now broken container to the side and picked up the bowl to set on the table between them. 

Bernard ate almost in silence, the body across from him droning on and on about the most inconsequential, mundane things. Its wife, its car, the remodeling of its house. It was pitiful. Nearly fifty-years of existence with only the most boring of conversations to show for it. Surface level, meaningless accolades that only made it seem more pathetic for how much it cared. 

The only time he found himself truly paying attention was when the conversation turned to the man’s daughters. They were also highly inconsequential, but they were the link that he had been searching for. 

They knew Adam. 

“Kesly is doing great, just about to finish high school. Man, can you believe it? Feels like just yesterday she was playing princess and pirate and now my baby’s going to college. Maddie’s just made varsity at her school.” 

Steven took another sip of its drink and winked conspiratorially at Bernard. “If Adam still plays then maybe they’ll face off some time, eh? She used to to whip his butt when they played in middle school.” 

Bernard squinted slightly with a toothy smile. “Only because he let her. And he’s gotten far better over the years.” He hadn’t seen Adam play since then, but he could only assume that his skill had improved over time.  

He took another bite of his lunch and made a mental note to find Maddie’s school and locate what colleges were in the district for lacrosse. 

Irritatedly, the conversation shifted to something pointless again and Bernard was left to wait until it could be useful. As the time dragged on, there was a dull thud from somewhere higher in the house. 

“What was that?” Steven asked, turning around its chair to look behind and above him. 

The fork bent under Bernard’s hand. 

“I didn’t hear anything.” 

Steven shook its head, wiping its mouth with its napkin. “No, no there was definitely a noise.” 

“Oh, that,” he replied casually, taking an even breath. “There’s mice in the attic.” 

A huff. “Sounds like pretty big mice to me. I can call a buddy out if you ever need anyone to do something about it. He’ll do it real cheap, too.”

Bernard waved him away, keeping the utensil under the table and bending back to its correct shape. “No, no need. I’m handling it myself.” 

They continued to chat uselessly, meaninglessly, until Steven finally decided it had wasted enough air here and would go be pointless somewhere else. Bernard watched him leave, said the expected this was great, we need to do it again soon, see you later before locking the door, finally free of such a useless creature. 

Teddy was hiding. Or at least, closest that he got to hiding with the chain giving his location away. He was between the bed and the wall, in the small space where the roof met the floor. 

He had been reading, laying on the bed trying to get lost in the book he had already read a million times. Maybe it had worked, considering that he had fallen asleep. The book fell. 

Now he was shivering in his only hiding place, desperately hoping that no-one had been home. He wished he knew what day it was, he wished he knew the man’s schedule, he could tell went it was safe. But no, there was no safety here, no regular pattern for him to latch onto. It was hell. 

The locked clatter and the ladder slunk down, filling him with fear. He was here, he had heard it. Teddy curled a hand around the bedpost. 

“Come out.” 

He didn’t, he couldn’t. He didn’t want to go back in the coal shed, didn’t want to be punished. It was an accident, and even then he was afraid that the nearly-memorized books would be taken away. 

“Now,” the man growled. Teddy shook his head and held on harder. 

Bernard groaned and wrapped the chain around his hand once, then twice, then pulled. The boy was still holding on so Bernard pulled again, harder this time. There was a small cry and a dragging noise as Teddy was pulled from behind the bed. 

Bernard looked down at him and only one thought screamed back in his head. 

Adam moved. 

Adam had moved again. 

He had moved, and blocked his number, his profiles, ever way that Bernard could contact his son were shut down, forbidden from him. He cut him out, disrespected him, shamed him left him to suffer through hours of meaningless conversation just for the smallest bits of information. 

Looking down, Bernard couldn’t contain his anger any longer. 

“You switched schools? Again? Without consulting with me? You ungrateful bastard,” he sneered, kicking the boy in his ribs. He yelped, eyes wide with fear. Good. He should be afraid, he should be ashamed of his pathetic behavior. He had been taught better than to disrespect him like this.

Teddy coughed and froze, tears starting to pour from his eyes. No, no no not this again. “Please,” he coughed, rolling onto his side. “Please I’m not Adam.” Every cough hurt, sending little bolts of pain through his chest and side. Still, he looked up to the man, staring into the steel cold eyes. 

“M-My name is Theodore Ramirez,” he rambled quickly, not for the first time. “My parents are Diana and Jonathan, they live in-” 

“NO!” The man shouted, pinning it down and wrapping his hands around its neck. No! No, no no no this! Stop! He squeezed, putting more and more weight on it’s thin throat. He would make it stop. 

Teddy wheezed, shoulders pinned down by the man’s knees. He was on top of him, he was choking him, he was killing him. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Struggling was useless, the man being so much larger than him. His clipped nails left practically no marks, drew no blood. 

“Don’t. You. Ever say that again,” growled, lifting its neck to slam it back into the wood. “Never. You are Adam, and you’re going to stay this time.” He loosened his grip the slightest bit. 

“Understand?” His question only had one correct answer. Teddy knew it, didn’t have enough air left to deny it. His head still spun from the blows, a loud ringing obstructing some of the words. 

“Y-Yes,” he managed, only the ghost of a noise. “Yes, I’m Adam. I’m sorry - I’m Adam.” The pressure let up more and more as he complied. By the end, the man was only resting his hands over the boy’s throat. 

Bernard signed and raised a hand to brush it across Adam’s cheek gently. “There. See, things are so much better when you stop lying. Let me take care of you, keep you safe.” 

The boy coughed and cried underneath him, never leaving him again.

~~

taggy boissss @whump-me-all-night-long @starnight-whump @highwaywhump @panic-and-chaos @as-a-matter-of-whump @cowboy-anon @just-a-raccoon-in-a-party-hat @milk-carton-whump

[writing-in-april]

The Five Stages of Grief

Stage five: Acceptance (5/5)

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (Spencer’s POV)

Thanks to @zhuzhubii who helped me so much with this series and made this gif for me 🥰

Summary: Spencer going through each of the stages of grief after the death of the reader. Stage five is acceptance.

A/N: Can’t believe my first series on here is done!!! I’m not gonna lie you guys this chapter is super emotional for me- I no joke cried the whole time while writing it and while rereading to edit. I basically have been going through the same thing recently with my Nana. This chapter is very close to my heart and is definitely the most personal chapter for me. The whole series is actually heavily inspired by season 3 episode 19 -one of my favorite episodes of criminal minds- and I also used elements from season 3 episode 15. This also kinda helps explain a lot of my writing choices throughout the whole series if you’re curious. I did my first real attempt at foreshadowing in this series, I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you for all the love and support on this series- with a special thanks to @spencerreidsmiles and @andiebeaword -you all have been so lovely and amazing.

Warnings (All warnings for the whole series are on series Masterlist): Sad Spencer, References to past drug use, References to past suicidal behaviors, Small panic attack, Hopeful Spencer, Unreliable narrator (much less so in this chapter)

Main Masterlist | The 5 Stages Masterlist Word Count: 3.5k (longest chapter)

It’s been a year; One full year since they had died in my arms. One full year since they had been shot so cruelly by a heartless unsub in an alley. One full year since I had been graced with their presence and the sound of their voice.

The elements of my emotions were extremely complex according to my therapist, and surprisingly I found myself starting to feel the benefits with them more every time I went to an individual session or a group session. It was hard for me to realize that I would have to learn to accept my situation.

It was hard to learn how to understand my own emotions when I had been so willing to shut them out, to try and convince myself that they didn’t exist.

I had begun to learn that I carried around the water that felt like I could drown in, the fire that burned so hot that anyone near it would get burned, the earth that I had wished would bury me with the pebbles I had chosen to cope with, and even the polluted air of my sadness around with me everyday. But, now I somewhat accepted the fact that they would always be with me, or at least I was trying to.

I had to learn to accept.

Even if it hurt I had to learn to at least try.

The next goal I had been given by the therapist was the most daunting of my tasks yet in my opinion. Trying to convince myself to open the boxes in the corner of the bedroom I had once shared with Y/N was harder than trying to get clean. The thought that had propelled me forward into getting clean was that I felt as though I would be disrespecting Y/N by not staying clean. They had been the reason all those years ago that I had spilled the clear liquid down the toilet and I needed to do it again, if only for them.

The boxes were something that were easier to ignore. I could ignore them by turning my back to the stack of boxes, choosing instead to stare at the painted walls of my apartment instead. There was no reason for me to stop ignoring the boxes, no one was trying to pressure me to open them besides my therapist. Everyone else in my life had no expectations for me to open them at any time, if ever, including Y/N’s family.

But, it had begun to feel like maybe I could try to attempt to open the boxes. I wasn’t sure what had finally prompted my brain into thinking that perhaps it would be a good thing to stop ignoring it. I stopped trying to understand why my mind works the way it does long ago, I had poured enough time into my life thinking about that.

I had felt this overwhelming urge to be able to look back at things that once belonged to them with some semblance of peace. I wanted to enjoy the memories we had together once more. I was tired of letting the memories get soiled by the unsub, I deserved to still think back on the one that I loved with a smile. I deserved to be able to preserve their memories with happiness and not let them sour with sadness. I wouldn’t let the unsub be able to kill something else while he was behind bars, my memories.

I was ready.

I was ready to open those boxes.

I was ready to at least try.

I was ready to try and look back at the memories.

I wasn’t going to let their memory die too.

My first attempt to open the boxes in the corner of my bedroom consisted of me staring for two hours at the stacks. I knew that I at least wanted to try to attempt to open a box, even if it was the smallest of the bunch.

That day I had gotten the lid of one of the boxes open. That was as much as I could handle emotionally in that moment. There was a small part of myself that wanted to push myself to look inside the box, but I couldn’t do it that night. That night I laid down on the bed, again facing the wall, unwilling to look at the boxes. I knew if I did I’d feel as if I had failed and I had to keep trying to convince myself that small progress was still progress.

I tried again despite the swirling anxiety in the hole in my chest.

I was still willing because I still wanted to have my memories unsullied by sadness.

I still knew that I deserved that despite my volatile elemental emotions threatening to push me into another toxic loop.

The next time I tried to look in the box I had previously opened just a little I immediately got choked, recognizing the contents sat at the top surrounded by other smaller insignificant items. I only managed to grab one of their old tchotchkes that used to sit on their desk in the bullpen. It was insignificant enough of an item that it didn’t make me fall into an endless loop of my emotions. I clutched it all night while I tried to sleep, though I still faced away from the boxes.

I hadn’t given up yet I still wanted to try, if only for them.

I would still try for them, even if I didn’t succeed, I still felt better for trying.

It had taken me awhile to muster up the courage to look at the box again, even though I still wanted to try I was scared that the contents would be too much for my fragile psyche. What I had gotten a glimpse of at the top of the box was something that used to be important for Y/N.

The next time I tried to look I successfully managed to pick up the item that had triggered the painful memory in my mind. It was ironically, it was another box.

The box wasn’t something that was explicitly tied to memories that we shared together. I knew it to be a music box from their childhood, given to them by someone that had meant so much to them. Out of curiosity I cranked the knob on the side and slowly opened the lid, wondering if I could handle the sounds of a song that I had often heard every time they had opened it to listen to the twinkle of the box they cherished.

As soon as the beginning notes of Swan Lake floated into the air I slammed to top shut, unwilling to open up the box of my emotions all the way just yet. I knew I couldn’t get rid of it, it was too important of an artifact in Y/N’s life. Though I knew that this wasn’t something I could keep to myself, this belonged to Y/N’s family. I clutched the box for a second in my arms when I came to the realization that the trinket should be with someone else as if it would be cruelly ripped from my arms right then and there. I felt a little fire being stoked in my belly at the thought of people taking it from me, even though there was no one there in my lonely apartment with me.

I started a breathing exercise that my therapist had told me to use when I felt like this. No matter how much it pained me to admit it, it did help immensely in snuffing out the emotions when I could feel them begin to spiral out of control.

I couldn’t let myself fall into an endless loop of volatile emotions again. I had worked hard to get clean after I had started to write my amends. It had been a hard uphill battle even after I had written down my amends, my grief hadn’t magically gone away that day. Getting clean had been much harder without my rock and the person who had helped me get clean the first time around. I wouldn’t disrespect their memory by going back to dilaudid again.

Once the initial fear began to fade and my breathing had grown steady I forced myself to loosen my grip on the music box. I then carefully set it down in a place that would be suitable enough for a stack of things I’d pass off to other people that had been important to them. I hoped I’d soon be ready to make a donation pile despite that I despised the mere thought of giving something away that belonged to them to a mere stranger.

It was already too much for today, I could only bear looking at the one item. I didn't know how I’d be able to handle it if the box was filled with more trinkets that were important to them. I did however find myself thinking when I laid down on my bed for the night after a hot shower to relax my mind. I found my mind thinking about the trinkets they’d had an affinity for collecting. It still brought tears to my eyes to think about giving away their stuff, even if it was to people who also mattered in their life. But, I found myself thinking about their old cute little trinkets without as much pain, though it was definitely still there.

Maybe tomorrow when I try, I’d do better.

The small box that I had begun to unpack over a series of days didn’t hold anything else seemingly important to Y/N’s life. Besides the music box I had found prior, the small box was only filled with unimportant trinkets that thankfully didn’t spark much meaning in my mind. It was obvious that when the team had initially helped me to put their stuff away until I was ready that things had been put away in a slight haste. They must’ve done it so quickly as a way to try and help me. The animosity that I had held towards my team for the last year because of Y/N’s death had been slowly melting away over time. I still wasn’t as friendly as I had been before, but I knew my frigid nature after the event hadn’t been justified. I knew now that they had only my best interests at heart, even if they didn’t always pinpoint what they were correctly. I had even begun to regain some of my desk duties once I had gotten clean. It had felt good to feel somewhat normal even though the sight of their desk directly across from mine and their still empty round table chair still made my heart pang with grief.

I had even begun texting them more frequently again, though I was still aversive to text, so I guess it still wasn’t that often. Some things really do never change despite the fact that my life had turned on its head in the past year. I had even begun to write letters to my mom again.

I knew I was lucky to still have people by my side, even if it wasn’t the one I knew deep down I still wanted with me.

I thought I could have at least done the box without crying anymore.

That was until I found something at the bottom of the box that made the dam holding my memories back in my mind break to flood my mind. The book would probably seem inconsequential compared to the rest of the items that I knew sat in the other boxes. Most people would assume after just looking at the surface level what items of Y/N’s meant most to me, the ones I wanted to keep. The black paper back was well worn around the edges, almost like if I read it too frequently and I wasn’t too careful that the spine would break. I ran my fingers up and down the battered book as I began to willingly reminisce. To other people the book would’ve looked beaten already beyond repair, maybe as if it had not been loved enough, battered perhaps because of neglect.

But, just like me I knew that Y/N had loved the book more than most people would be willing to.

I knew that I wanted to keep this book, no matter how painful I knew their contents would be for me. I hoped that I’d be able to read it so much that I’d be afraid for the binding of the book, just to be able to feel close to them again. Though I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to dig up this particular memory, it might still be too painful for me.

I remember they had bought this book for us after I had connected with a grieving father on a case. He had specifically quoted a poem to me that stuck with me for weeks after. Once I had told them of the excerpt quoted to me they had immediately grabbed a copy of where it had originated from, a long Wordsworth poem. The book “Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood” became their favorite quickly, in fact it used to take residence in the top drawer of their nightstand. They had often loved to read me their favorite excerpts at night just before bed when my eyes couldn’t stand to focus on the pages anymore.

When I opened the well worn book it flipped open to where they had set their bookmark last, I recognized the excerpt immediately. My breath got caught up in my throat when the words danced around in my vision. I wasn’t sure if I could face this specific excerpt quite yet, or even be able to read any part of the poem. The book held so many memories of them. This specific poem held so much meaning to the both of us.

However, there was something in me that wanted to try. I wanted to be able to read the poem again and remember the memories we shared fondly. I wanted to be able to enjoy my memories with them. I had come to realize over the past year that their memory deserved to be nurtured with fondness not overwhelmed with sadness.

So, I decided to try.

The memory’s attached to the excerpt immediately began flooding back even as soon as I read the beginning words. The bookmark had landed on the page that had been quoted to me by the grieving father, the words holding even more meaning in my life now than ever before.

“What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my-“

The tears in my eyes blurred my vision, so much so that I had to stop reading for a moment to wipe my eyes. I didn’t know if I wanted to continue, just those first few lines were already weighing heavily on my mind. I was already focusing on the radiance that had left my life forever. A radiance that was once so bright, but was now snuffed out, forever taken from my sight. My sorrow was creeping in with small little waves in my mind, I just had to hope that it wouldn't drown me. I didn’t want to get stuck on an endless loop of emotions again, I had just gotten fully clean a little while ago.

Even though I was feeling intensely emotional over just the first few words I wanted to keep trying. I wanted to read this poem and smile. I wanted to be able to look back at our memories with love, to take back what had been polluted by the acts of a heinous man. Once I had somewhat collected myself and my thoughts I began to read again from the beginning of the excerpt-

“What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my sight, Though nothing can bring back the hour Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower,”

My entire being could not help but ache as I read the words, still aching for the presence of the one who had been forever taken from my sight. When I reached that part that I remembered asking the grieving man about all those years ago, the words held an even deeper meaning to me now than I ever thought possible. There was nothing I could do to bring back the hour where I was still in my lover’s embrace. I wanted to be back in the moments of splendour in the grass and glory in the flower, I knew that soon I’d have to fully accept that it wasn’t possible.

Again I had to wipe tears from my eyes before continuing to read the stanza. This time a few tears dribbling down onto the pages, marking them with my sadness forever no matter if it dried into the parchment or not. I continued to read the page despite the saltwater that continued to drip down my face,

“We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind; In the primal sympathy Which having been must ever be; In the soothing thoughts that spring Out of human suffering; In the faith that looks through death, In years that bring the philosophic mind”

I felt a small watery smile creep onto my face, it had been so long since I had remembered to smile with sincerity. I was thinking about some of the times they had read this to me as I tried to drift off into a most likely restless sleep. Though I had always slept better when they read to me. At the time the words hadn’t meant as much to me as they did now, I now had a permanent connection to the feeling of grief that would never be erased. For the first time in a long time thinking about them didn’t hurt as much for a moment, I actually smiled, even though it was rather watery. No matter how small or sad the smile was, I was still smiling. And, I knew in that moment that Y/N would’ve been proud of me.

I pondered on the stanza’s meaning in a deeper way than I had done before. The things stated in the stanza about how I would gain strength from this situation made me contemplate what Y/N would’ve wanted me to do after their death. They wouldn’t want me to give up as I had done before, they had always wanted the best for me. They would want me to gain strength from the situation.

They would want me to grow from the pain that sat in my chest.

They would want me to move on, to accept.

I didn’t know if I’d ever find someone else that I’d ever love as much as I loved them. I didn’t really ever want to, I had found my true love already. Maybe one day I’d find someone to fall in love with again and if I did I knew they would be happy that I was able to move on with someone else. Even if I ever did move on with someone else there’d always be a part of my heart that belonged to Y/N. For now I was ready to move on in a different way. I was ready to live my life without them, by myself.

The trauma of losing them would always weigh heavily on my soul, I’d carry that with me until I rejoined them in the earth. But, I was now ready to keep living, if only for them. I felt less guilty now since I had grown to realize that they’d want me to try and live the rest of my life as fully as I could. They’d want me to try and find happiness. I didn’t know if I would ever truly find it again, whether it was on my own or with someone else.

They may have been forever taken from my sight, but I found comfort in the fact that the radiance they brought into my life would always reside in me. Instead of letting the deep hole in my chest gape until the hour of my death, I’d let it fill with the radiance of their memory.

I was ready to try.

I was ready to try even if I knew the water that felt like I could drown in, the fire that burned so hot that anyone near it would get burned, the earth that I had wished would bury me with the pebbles I had chosen to cope with, and even the polluted air of my sadness around with me everyday would sometimes take ahold of me again no matter how hard I tried.

I’d always carry those emotions with me, but I knew I was ready.

“Nothing can bring back the hour of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower.”

I knew I was ready because their memory would always be with me to give me strength and to guide me. They’d always be there to help me try to live the rest of my life peacefully.

When I slept that night I faced the boxes while clutching the book to my chest.

Even though it still would always hurt on some level, I was ready to live in a reality where I could accept.

—-

Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar

Spencer Reid/CM:

@calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes

5 stages of grief:

@joonie-centric @tatesimper @half-blood-dork @mcntsee @illuxions-x @rainsong01 @nomajdetective @loveheathens @day-n-night-dreamer @reidbuck

[animesmutfest]

Benimaru x reader

You and Beni are in a heated argument at the moment as you have had enough of him calling you over only to disrespect you and or use you for sex. If he wanted to be an asshole to you he could find someone else to do that to. “I’m leaving and don’t fucking call me again” you yell storming out. “Whatever ill see you soon love” he says not knowing the weight behind your words. He honestly expected you to call him a few days later for a hook up but it never came. “She’ll come back any day now” he thinks to himself but man was he wrong. Weeks turn to months and you never called or showed your face around his home. He was practically loosing his damn mind without you around. “Don’t you think maybe you should just call her and apologize?” Konro says watching him binge drink. “Why should i?” Beni replies gulping down the rest of his cup. “I cant lie Beni she had a point... how many times has she showed you she was more than a toy? At one point she practically begged you to give her a chance and you turned her down like she was nothing to you” konro says. “I told her I didn’t want to involve feelings so its her own fault” Beni slurs. “I can tell her not being around is bothering you Beni. You’ve pretty much been drinking yourself to sleep the past few months” he say patting him on the back. “When your ready to stop holding back your real feelings and actually let her in, ive heard she’s been going to the bar every Friday, the local one downtown” he says walking out Benis room. “The bar?! What the fuck is she doing there every weekend?! Is she seeing someone?” He thinks to himself before laying down and dozing off. The week flies by and before you knew it you were getting ready to go out to the bar. Doing your hair and even putting on a sexy make up look before sliding on your tight short dress with matching heels. “Well time to go drink my sorrows away” you say walking to your car. As you enter the bar the bartender greets you and asks if you want the usual Long Island. You confirm it and begin your weekend routine.4 or 5 drinks later you were pretty drunk and thought you saw Beni enter the bar and sit down at a table far from the seats. You shake it off as your imagination and a young attractive man approaches you and offers to pay for a drink. You smile and accept his offer as you too talked and had a few drinks. “Who the fuck is this prick?!” Beni exclaims from the table he sat at. “So she is seeing someone... I don’t know why that bothers me so much” he adds feeling a ping in his heart. He sees her get up and walk to the bathroom he quietly moved through the crowd following her inside.

As you lean over the counter thinking of Beni you hear the door shut and lock behind you. You look up and see Beni leaning against the door looking at you. “What do you want?” You snap at him. “Who’s that guy you were talking to?” He asks calmly ignoring your question. “Why does it matter? Its not like you care...” you say getting irritated. “How long have you been fucking him?” He asks slowly walking towards you. For some reason you find yourself excited at his appearance but you refuse to be his toy any longer. “What are you talking about?!” You exclaim “you heard me y/n now answer me. How long have you been fucking that prick?!” He says towering over your body slamming his hands on the counter behind you. “Ive never seen that man before tonight... I don’t even know his name.” You say melting a bit under his gaze. “Why haven’t you come back to me?” He asks leaning into your ear. “Because i refuse to be treated like a fucking toy Beni I don’t belong to anybody especially someone who only calls me when they want to get their nut in!” You yell pushing him but he doesn’t budge. “You know what?” He grabs the back of your head and pulls you into a rough kiss. You realized that you didn’t even push him away instead inviting him in. After a minute of your tongue dancing with his you come to your senses and pull away from the kiss. “No! I’m tired of being used” you say with. A tear falling down your face. His eyes grown wide as he wipes away your tear. “I’m sorry y/n” he says softly “for how i treated you, for how i acted like I didn’t care, for making you feel like you were worthy, for everything”. “You don’t mean that so stop” you say. “But i do... it took me till a few weeks ago to realize how much i missed having you by my side. And for me to realize that i do have feelings for you” he says kissing you tenderly. Your heart melts at his confession and without a second thought you wrap your hands around his neck kissing him back. You were relieved to hear him finally say he felt something for you. And now you can fully indulge in him without feeling used.

He picks you up and sits you on the counter behind you and he moves his mouth to your sensitive spot on your neck. He left marks all around your sweet spot on your neck as your hands trail through his hair. Normally you would have to do most of the work but he wasted no time with you. He slowly pulls off your panties and shove them in his pocket as he runs his fingers on your throbbing clit. You moan as your body quickly gives into him and his ways with you. “I missed you so much baby girl” he whispers in your ear as he increases his speed on your clit. Your legs shake as you neared a climax. You realized it had been months since you came. Your body was so sensitive that you knew you were doomed the second he started. Your moans go wild as you reach your first climax. “I didn’t even go inside her and she came. I guess she did miss me” he thinks to himself as he gets on his knees and licks up your slit a few times before sucking on your clit and sliding in a finger. “B-beni i- mmmph. I need you inside me now!” you moan gripping the edge of the sink. He smirks removing his mouth form you and unzipping his pants and boxers pulling them down allowing his dick to spring out. It looked painfully hard, much harder than ever before actually. He kisses you one more time before lining himself up with your pussy and slowly sinking inside you. Your legs shake and your body tenses up at the feeling of him stretching you out. “Fuck baby~” he moans in your ear as he bottoms out. Your heavy breathing and gripping his back with your nails turning him on even more. He pulls out a bit before slamming back inside you giving you no time to adjust to his enormous size as he fucks you deep and hard. Beni was practically falling apart inside you. You cry out in pleasure as you feel yourself close to cumming again. Feeling you clench down on him and speeds up “Look at me baby” he moans causing you to comply. Your eyes sinking into his as you feel yourself losing the tiny bit of control you had left. “I know you want to baby... so go ahead. Cum for me” he moans in your ear. Your orgasm ripped through your soul at his words. If it weren’t for the music everyone would have definitely heard you. Kisses your neck praising you through your high. Once you’ve calmed down he hooked your legs with his arms and picks you up slamming you against the wall.

He relentlessly pounds into you while admiring how well you are taking him. “You’re mine y/n” he growls at you. “A-all yours baby” you moan loudly leaning back on the wall as you melt. Your skin flushed red and sweat littering your bodies. His thrusts becoming faster and sloppy. You sink your mouth onto his neck causing him to dig into you more. You were beyond happy after telling him you belonged to him for so long and to actually be his was hitting completely different. His eyes looks at you wildly as he made sure to let you know how good your pussy felt on his dick. After “fuck baby girl~ I’m gunna cum s-soon” he moans biting your neck. You rest your head on his shoulder realizing you were going to cum again too. He was now slamming against your cervix making your body jolt with each thrust. The moment your climax hit you squeezed him so tight it caused him to cum as well. He tells your name as he slams deep inside you. Through your panting you realized he came inside. “No no no I just got him back and now he’s just going to freak out and leave again” you think to yourself. But instead he kisses you deeply as he pants. And in a low growl he says “like I said you’re MINE”. You sigh relieved as you weakly reply. “I’m yours”