#you just desire a close connection with someone and have been made to believe romance is the peak of it.’

[jrwiyuri]

Aromantic chip jrwi.. save me aromantic chip jrwi

[gildedphoenix]

During the great depression, somebody made a wish. Fueled by desperation, powered by the pure dumb luck of being in the right place at the right time to be heard by an ancient Djinn (it was totally Desire) with a sense of humor. 

After the wish, everyone had a red string hanging off their left pinky. It dangled down a few inches and then just faded into non-existence. Nobody knew what it was for a few years but then stories started coming out. People finding their perfect match after feeling a tug at their string and following it. The string would twist and twine and lengthen as you got closer to your fated mate, your strings eventually connecting together. 

Most people’s strings just hung limp. Maybe listing in one direction or another. But 8 Billion people in the world and only one is your soul mate? Most people didn’t meet theirs. It was true that your soulmate was always within 10 years of age as you. But 10 years older to 10 years younger still gave you a 20 year range to work with. Everyone’s string appeared by the time they were 10. Some babies were born with their string already spun, a small red thread fading off into a wisp after a scant inch. 

Nowadays, it was common to go on a “string chase” vacation after graduating high school. Some people were close enough to their soulmates that they could just follow the leadings of their string, which would become longer and more opaque the closer you got to your mate. If your string gave you no leads, there were all kinds of "methods" to help pick which direction you should go.

Tucker and Sam were determined to go on string chase journeys post graduation. Tucker because he loved the excitement of an adventure, Sam to find someone who would truly understand her.

Danny was not so hopeful. At one point they'd all agreed to go together, but Sam felt like she was being led to the west coast while Tucker was just going to start in Metropolis, the nearest big city and go from there, hopping the next train out of town after a few days if he still had a slack string.

After a lengthy discussion of pros and cons, they decided that Tucker was more likely to get himself into trouble than Sam, so Danny found himself packing light and on a Greyhound to Metropolis. It was a shitty trip. Objectively the worst way to travel. Walking, or even hitch hiking would have been more pleasant. The bus was late. They had no way of making their connection in Chicago, and the vent fan in the bathroom was broken, making the bus reek of sewage.

Danny has shit luck and just doesn't believe he'll ever find his soulmate. The universe just doesn't like him that much.

Jason has, somehow, always had a leading direction on his string. When he was younger, there was nothing he could do about it. And now he had baggage and didn't want to pursue romance or relationship. (Even though he's a total sap for soulmate meet stories)

While in Gotham, both their strings keep tugging and lengthening and then falling slack again.

----

I know this isn't much but I promised myself I would post whatever I had and it's almost 1 am. So there. There's that fucking thing. I'll try to flesh it out more tomorrow, Enjoy red ♥️🧵♥️

[honeycrispjamz]

No one ever brings up how absolutely… fucked this scene is when you take some things into consideration.

When this scene takes place, it has only been a few days—maybe a week—since the plane crashed and Ben’s leg was injured. In that short amount of time, Misty has made it her responsibility to tend to not just Ben’s overall physical well-being but his mental well-being as well. At this point in the show, someone might assume she took on this kind of pseudo-motherly role because she believes Ben might have feelings for her too, or because she has her own sadistic fantasies she wants to play out in the safety of the wilderness.

However, in the pilot, we aren’t given any hints that they had a good or healthy relationship before the crash for Misty to misinterpret to begin with. In fact, we’ve seen numerous times (even before the crash) that Misty is tiring to Ben, and her attempts to connect with him only result in him being cruel/pessimistic towards her. He isn’t close with her like he is with Natalie or Travis, and they lack the usual close relationship found at the basis of most ‘forbidden romances’ (aka sexual abuse) between mentors and students.

It is more likely that, at this point, Misty is taking care of him out of the kindness of her heart, with a bit of it definitely fueled by her own personal desire to be needed. But I don’t think she really thinks he likes her back at this point, nor do I think she is unaware that he kind of despises her. I think it’s more of a one-sided crush than anything, something she knows won’t happen but still entertains.

So what happens? What changes?

This happens. I think Misty has learned, either through observation or her own lived experience, that people will never give her what she needs. So, she takes whatever she gets instead. Because what else can she do? When Ben hits her and screams at her, she takes that rejection and pain and morphs it into something she needs: attention. It doesn’t matter if he’s yelling at her or being violent towards her, as long as it’s directed at her. You can see it in her face after she’s hit, how she swallows down her anger/hurt and instead chooses to soothe him, because it’s what she was taught to do. Do whatever it takes to get what you want, right?

And, worse, it works. He melts right into her, lets her calm him down, and the tension in the air is... gross. If you look at the other girls, you can see just how messed up this all feels to them too. They look scared, even, like they are watching a train wreck they can’t stop.

And because it worked, because he only shows her kindness after being violent with her, the idea that she has to let people hurt her in order to feel wanted is reinforced. This can be seen later in her relationship with Natalie, how she lets the girl tear into her over and over and over only to brush it off like nothing happened. Because she believes Natalie needs her more than Misty needs to feel accepted. Same with Ben, Misty truly thinks he deserves her kindness/patience more than she deserves his.

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi I loved your amnesia fic and I was wondering if you could do a follow up?

Here you go! Thank you for the prompt and compliment and I hope you enjoy because i do love that fic so I’m happy to add to it!

—

They don’t go to the loft, not when Magnus has been lax and let too many know its location. He’ll go himself, later and move it, secure it somewhere safe that he can take Alexander back to when he’s better. However the comfort of home can’t provide the safety Magnus’ instincts are requiring.

So Magnus doesn’t take his love to another country, he takes him to another dimension. To the small pocket of home that Magnus once showed him, during a moonlight romance, and that they promised to return to when others needed them less.

No fire messages will work, no tracking will connect and Magnus can keep Alexander safe and secure and protected from all the forces that will try to take him from Magnus.

Even Isabelle and Jace aren’t exempt from Magnus’ new list of enemies.

They’ll think they know better. That they deserve more. They’ll want their brother close by and under angelic protection and they’ll tell Magnus ‘its the best thing for him, we’ll give you updates’. They've done it before and Magnus fought them then and he’ll fight them now.

Except he doesn’t have to fight. Not really.

Alexander made Magnus his legal guardian, a contract more powerful than even their marriage or Alexander’s ties to the clave. He put Magnus in charge of picking the next leader of his Institute and Alexander’s people willingly and happily referred to Magnus as Commander in Alec’s stead.

He wonders what he ever did to earn such devotion and then there is a gasp of, “Magnus! Look at this!” And he looks up to see Alexander — who is finding the world new all over again — turning to him with a butterfly fairy perched on his palm. It’s antennas are tickling his skin, looking for the sweetness of the flowers Alexander’s been touching and marveling over.

It’s like everything he sees is so incredible that he has to touch and Magnus has no desire to stop him, only encourages him further.

He’s never once seen Alexander this vulnerable and open about exploring things and it hurts, to know this part was beaten out of him before Magnus ever got to him.

Sunlight hits the fairy’s wings, during the delicate limbs into a translucent kaleidoscope of color. Like two pieces of stained glass, delicately fluttering and perched on Alexander’s hand.

The fairy leaves and Alexander drops, breathless with delight next to Magnus.

“It’s so beautiful and light.” He says, and then he grins, unafraid and so happy every time he looks at Magnus. “How did we manage it, being together? I don’t remember much but I know enough of clave laws and—“ he frowns, a glimpse of the man he’s forgotten how to be coming through. “I know it’s exhausting. Trying to figure out how to survive around their laws when half of them overlap. I remember enough of it, but I find it hard to believe they’d let me have this.” And Alexander looks at him, in such tender awe.

“We fought for it.” Magnus tells him quietly. “Both of us, in our own ways and together. So we could be together, because our devotion and love for each other was stronger than the law of the clave.”

Magnus braces himself for whatever Alexander might think of that, but he just gets another warm smile.

“That sounds nice, having someone to fight with against the clave. I can remember why, but I feel like I always thought I’d be on my own. Struggling to stay one step ahead of them, so I didn’t become less of me and more just, nothing."

“You’re very unfiltered, like this. Magnus notes, hesitantly because he doesn’t want Alec to feel like he’s being compared to something he doesn’t remember.

Alexander ponders a moment and then shrugs, reaching out and — when Magnus offers his hand — eagerly taking it.

“I think I’ve forgotten why I had to be quiet. All the reasons the clave beat into me, was to first keep my thoughts to myself and then later, to stop thinking of certain things at all. Simply because probably, at some point, not hoping at all was better than losing it again and again.

Magnus realizes that this is going to be painful; this open and free Alexander. And not because he shies away or is unfamiliar with Magnus — because he’s not, it’s like Alexander thinks the only thing that makes sense is Magnus — but because this is who Alexander should have always been allowed to be.

“Your eyes are like golden moons.” Alexander says, which he has no business doing because Magnus’ heart can’t take much more. “I know of them, but I can't remember quite what the moon looks like. But I feel like I can remember how beautiful it is, when I look at you.”

Magnus takes a breath to steady himself and then leans over, gripping Alwxander’s jaw and holding it still.

Alexander blinks at him, trusting and soft and Magnus sighs and pulls him closer and gives him a gentle, chaste kiss.

“What on earth am I going to do with you, darling?” Because this is just proving to Magnus that he will never be able to resist his beloved, even when his beloved doesn’t remember him.

“Keep me.” Alexander tells him, cheeky and grinning but also with a hint of desperation.

“Oh, well that was always going to happen.” Magnus assures him and gives him another, gentle kiss.

[ina-nis]

There's something really conflicting I noticed lately... it has to do with my social fatigue and friends, as much as I wish it was not true...

Because, to me, romantic feelings are the natural outcome of friendships, with the ones I talk to, somewhat, regularly, it's always a matter of time for me to fall in love with them so... now that I can actually confess without destroying these connections, I'll take the rejections as redirection and move on, except...

I don't really move on. I compromise. I prefer to maintain the relationship as it is and let go of my feelings but... it's complicated because I fall in love with these people for a reason. By choosing to set my own personal feelings aside in the name of friendship, I end up with all these frustrating feelings that have nowhere to go, being in love with several of my friends, having been rejected by all of them, and compromising by staying friends with them.

I don't... really want to go there but this is, truly, me "wasting" time with unavailable people. The difference is that I put friendship over my own romantic desires - since friendship is something I desire as well! - and it really exhausts me.

I feel silly about only having realized that so recently...

Dedicating so much of my social time and energy to my friendships it's awesome, so long as I keep on avoiding the budding frustration! I thought I got over it already, since I finally can maintain my relationships after a rejection... but it's more the case that I have built a higher tolerance, therefore I can withstand frustration for longer. The end result is the same, I assume.

The time/energy I'm spending with my friends is precious and I treasure it very much. At the same time, it drains me to all other social activities, maybe even stuff like actively trying to date.

When I'm coming from a "blank slate," e.g. when I burned bridges and relationships didn't survive rejection, I could keep on pushing onwards, and looking for what I need without attachments or social "obligations" - when you're alone and you don't need to worry about nurturing your relationships, since you don't have any close to you, etc - I feel like it was "easier" on me, "easier" on my heart too: the rejections were, quite literally, redirection. I'd move on from the person and that relationship and that was it. No lingering attachments, no lingering feelings, no lingering connections. That connection would not provide me with what I want so I'd stop spending energy on it and go find something that would.

The tricky part is that I also want friends so... casting that aside was painful, not having people I can talk to regularly, not having someone to share, and so on... that was all very painful, too.

I found this middle-ground where I can keep my friends, and I feel like the suffering just gets drawn out... without proper "closure," the frustration doesn't go away. It doesn't really matter when I decide that I've "moved on" and "accepted" the rejection because that person will likely remain an object of love to me.

I know the reason why this happens is because I don't have my feelings reciprocated - and I can absolutely tell the difference now, after I've experienced that with my, then, safe person, a few years ago! - I believe once my feelings are reciprocated, I'll have someone I can redirect my love and desire, and I'll actually be able to have friends normally, since I won't constantly fall in love with them and have to repeat that cycle over and over again.

Existing in such state, where I'm trying to maintain my friendships, and said relationships all made me go through falling in love and then rejection, is excruciating. The frustration just takes a longer time to build up but it does happen and I worry it'll eventually become too much for me to deal with.

While I'm spending so much energy to maintain these fulfilling friendships that come with unfulfilled romance attached to them, I drain my social batteries, that I could be using to pursue this fulfilled romance I need. But... the result wasn't that different before, I guess. At least now I can keep people in my life. I'm not sure what to do about that whole falling in love thing that always happen, considering that's the main cause of my ailments currently.

Whatever I choose to do, whatever path I chose to take, there's a lot of things - namely, people - out of my control so I really do need to be "alright" with sitting in this discomfort, but I do wonder what would happen now, if I stopped dedicating so much time to unfulfilling, but yet, precious relationships.

How would the me from today act as a "blank slate?" I'm sure it would be at least somewhat different considering I did change quite a lot in the last couple of years.

I wonder if I'll find something good, or at least comforting, in the midst of these circumstances, too.

[constellationink]

Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

⭒ Genre: Fantasy, Romance

⭒ My rating: 1/5 (dnfed)

So. I’ve let my feelings settle since I’ve read this book so I can give a clearer review because I felt quite strongly about this book after I ‘finished’ it, aka asked a friend who loved it to just spoil the rest so I didn’t have to keep struggling through it from the 50% point. If you love this book and cannot bear to hear criticism, do not read past this point as I unfortunately have little to say in the likes department.

⭑ Summary: Violet Sorrengail has trained her entire life to be scribe, but has just been thrown into becoming a rider by the general: her mother. Riders bond with fearsome dragons after undergoing intense tests, many of them dying in the process just for the chance of making it to Threshing, the day where dragons choose their riders. Violet survives the initial test, only to run into Dain, a childhood friend of hers, and Xander, the son of a traitor who was killed by Violet’s mother.

I’ll stop here. I love dragons, I love fantasy, and I was so excited for this book, but there were a number of things that I tried to tolerate until I was sighing every page and finally decided I needed to put the book down. Let’s go through them.

⭑ Writing

This book has a bad habit of telling rather than showing to the point that I found what I was being told unbelievable. It’s crystal clear about everything. At some points for some reason, Violet doesn’t understand something obvious that happens (I’ll get to this), but someone else always comes in and explains it to her. My main issue with this is that I wasn’t seeing the same things I was being told I should see. Violet’s close relationship with Dain for example is more written as a thought in Violet’s head rather than much of their bond showing through. This combined with more immature writing (this book should not have been advertised as NA) made this book very hard to read for me.

It’s written like YA, featuring a middle schooler talking about how hot her crush is, and it’s just plain cringy considering she’s not 13. She tries to be witty and for some reason people around her like it? I just don’t think I meshed well with the attitude or humor of this book, and it just felt much more immature than I usually like to read. Also, including world information through Violet talking to herself to keep herself calm not once but twice has to be lazy writing. Come on.

⭑ Characterization

Most of the characters are shallow or inconsistent, or barely present, so I found myself struggling to connect with them. Violet is smart yet sometimes fails to understand obvious things until someone explains it to her. The book starts out with her love for being a scribe but she doesn’t really seem to care all that much and it’s basically swept under the rug to focus on her sudden desire to be a rider. She talks about how weak/short she is constantly but gets upset when Dain points out the same things.

Dain himself only seems to be there to complete a love triangle that doesn’t even really exist (Xander is the hottest man Violet has ever seen from the start), and his main function is to discourage Violet from becoming a rider because he’s worried about her safety. He wants to help her go back to being a scribe, which, as you may recall, is what Violet has wanted for her entire life. Instead, she gets upset that he doesn’t believe she can do something that she has said she’s at a disadvantage (small and weak) against and with only six months of training under her belt as opposed to most people with a lifetime of training. I just felt more confused about who Violet was supposed to be and what motivated her besides proving herself (?).

The dragons. I was very excited to meet them after hearing how fearsome and powerful they were. Yet Violet got sassy at the first meeting and well. The dragons liked that? The fear factor goes away pretty fast when you can hear what they’re saying. Before we meet them, I had the impression that they were wise and mysterious, dangerous, terrifying, beings that transcended humans. The reality is that they’re pretty much just the same as humans except they can breathe fire. This is partially on me, because I love when creatures are creature! But also I feel the element that makes dragons dragons wasn’t quite there.

⭑ World-building

Yes I need to talk about it a second time: Violet keeping herself calm in dangerous situations through reciting memorized information. Aka info dumping world information for the reader. Once, I excused. Twice? The world building is shaky already, but then we find out essential things about the world through an info dump in the middle of a tense scene. This is the telling not showing in action, and I suppose yes it is easy to follow, but it was also enough to completely take me out of the book.

I understand leaving the readers somewhat in the dark to reveal things later, but it felt like there were a lot of hanging pieces that were important but barely touched on because the book was so centered around Violet. I’d understand it if she didn’t know anything either, as it’s from her pov, but the lack of knowledge as a reader just felt like an excuse for plot twists because Violet does know a lot about her world as a former training scribe. What ended up happening is I didn’t really care much about the war, so this ended up reading as much more of a romance than a fantasy book.

To put it lightly, I really did not like this book. I think it could be a fun read for some people, but had so many glaring holes for me that I couldn’t even finish it. It doesn’t really offer substance and that’s what I usually read for, and the high rating on Goodreads is definitely overblown considering everything. However, if you’ve read this review and still want to try I’d say:

Read this book if you want an easy to understand, cheesy, YA with spice, romance book. It’s full of thrilling scenes, it’s much more romance with a tinge of fantasy, and has a female protagonist who really prevails against all odds.

[ladyartemesia]

The Kiss

◐ PART VIII of THE ALPHA ◐

◐ Series Masterlist ◐

◐ Part I ◐ Part II ◐ Part III ◐ Part IV ◐ Part V ◐ Part VI ◐ Part VII ◐

Pairing: Alpha Werewolf Jimin x Omega Reader

Rating: Hard Mature 18+ (for this installment)

Warnings: this one is a little darker, descriptions of violence, ABO sexual dynamics including discussion of scenting, marking, mating, and claiming, strong sexual innuendo, discussion of violence relating to ritual combat, possessive behavior, injuries and discussion of injuries, lots of people have, use and are threatened by knives, kidnapping and drugging, its not as bad as it sounds, but it is definitely a bit darker…

Word Count: 4250

Author’s Note: I said it before but it bears repeating...You have no idea what your support has meant to me. Truly your asks and your messages and comments…they made me so happy. You made me believe that people wouldn’t forget about this story. I am so grateful you were able to wait. As many of you know I faced a medical emergency recently and you were all so lovely. The best followers on this site and I MEAN that. As always, my angels @ppersonna @xjoonchildx and  @untaemedqueen​  were (and continue to be) the best betas and the best friends anyone could ask for. My thanks to ALL of you for helping me bring this story to life! I don’t know what I would do without your daily encouragement and your daily support. You guys are the heartbeat of this story. It wouldn’t be here without you.

——◐——

Two Years Ago 

——◐——

Centuries ago the moon goddess stumbled across her human soulmate while he was sleeping. Struck by his beauty, but reluctant to reveal her identity, the goddess began to visit him in his dreams where she could hide her true form and appear before him as a mortal woman. 

In the world of dreams their love flourished and from that blessed union the packs were born…

The wolf nations celebrated this sacred romance every ten years during the Festival of the Lover’s Moon…

The day of the festival was spent eating and drinking and dancing at large parties, but when the sun went down… well—

That’s when things got really interesting. 

On the night of Lover’s Moon the young unmated wolves of the pack were permitted to commemorate this legendary love story in a decidedly scandalous manner. 

The unmated men assumed the role of the goddess’s sleeping lover—they were blindfolded (to represent slumber) and led into a large sectioned off area of the dark forest to ‘wait and dream.’

Unmated she-wolves over the age of maturity (eighteen) took herbal scent suppressors and ventured out into that very same forest in order to anonymously ‘visit’ the young men ‘in their dreams’...

The rules for what exactly that meant were pretty fast and loose which was why Min Yoongi was thanking the goddess and every other deity he could think of that Yunli was still seventeen. 

“But I will be eighteen in two days! Please can’t I just—“

“No. Absolutely not under any circumstances ever.”

“But Yoonji is going!”

“Ji-ah is nearly nineteen and has never been interested in any of the snotty little man-pups of our pack.” He snorted. “She’s probably going out just so she can shove a bunch of them in the lake.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Yunli mumbled irritably. 

Kim Taehyung yawned idly and snuggled into the cozy little pallet he prepared at the base of his favorite tree. The blindfold he and all the other unmated ‘lovers’  wore was made from witchcloth and could not be removed while the sun was down—so he had snuck into the forest earlier to set everything up. 

Now all he had to do was wait until—

“H-Hi Taehyung.”

Oh sh—

“Uh. Hello...Miss.”

Taehyung didn’t recognize the owner of that voice, but he knew for sure who it wasn’t. 

“I was hoping to find you tonight.”

This is not good. 

“Well I’m—I’m flattered… naturally but—”

She touched his hand and he squeaked. 

“I was thinking you and I might get to know each other a little bet—eep!”

The sharp point of a custom blade pressed directly into the unfortunate young beta girl’s pulse point. 

“Are you lost, puppy?”

A heavy cloak obscured the newcomer’s features, but there was no mistaking her meaning. 

Taehyung bit his lip to keep from snorting as the poor she-wolf scrambled away. 

“Ji-ah,” he tsked with feigned disapproval, “that wasn’t very nice.”

Min Yoonji grinned as she sheathed her wicked looking dagger and slid languidly into his arms. 

“You don’t like nice girls, Kim Taehyung.”

“I like you,” he whispered breathlessly against her lips. “Nice or not—it doesn't matter to me…” His hands slid greedily over her soft curves—pulling her closer till he felt the beat of her heart against his own. “I’ll like anything as long as it’s you.” 

This was the stupidest idea in the history of stupid ideas. 

Jimin huffed as he struggled to find a comfortable position against the giant boulder he’d chosen as his perch.

Why did I let Taehyung talk me into this?

He could be at home—in bed—comfortably sleeping off the all-day feast he’d indulged in. 

Instead he was out in the middle of the forest sitting blindfolded on a rock in the off chance that one of the she-wolves was out looking for him. 

Not bloody likely. 

Not when prime targets like Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook—and countless others—were scattered throughout the woods. 

“Park Jimin?”

Every hair on Jimin’s body stood on end. 

It was a soft whisper—the speaker clearly didn’t want her voice to be recognized, yet something about the sound sent a curious frisson of interest down his spine. 

He gulped. 

“Yes… that’s me. But if you’re looking for Hoseok he’s just a little deeper in. You probably caught his scent downwind so—”

“I’m not looking for Hoseok.”

Jimin licked his lips and the sight of it sparked a odd curl of heat in the pit of your belly. 

“I don’t know where anyone else is…”

“That’s quite alright.” A muted shuffle of movement reached his ears as you settled down beside him. “I was looking for you.” 

“Oh…” He rubbed the back of his neck idly. “Are you sure?”

Laughter like fairy bells whispered through the air and Jimin felt his heart clench.

Don’t get your hopes up. 

“Who are you?”

You were silent for a long time and then—

“I am someone who owes you a debt. One I have never been able to repay.”

Jimin’s head tilted curiously as he considered your words. 

“I’m sorry, miss… you must be mistaken. There isn’t—“

“You don’t remember.” 

It was a statement—not a question. Your voice was nearer now. He could feel the warmth of your body close to his—though not quite touching. “It was your wolf that saved me. But you had not gone through the Change yet.”

Familiar shame spiked sharply in his chest.

“I’m seven years past the Change...Why have you never mentioned this before?”

“Circumstances prevented me from doing so.” 

There was a cold finality to your pronouncement—which of course did nothing but further inflame his curiosity. 

“Then why come to me now?”

“I’ve come to repay you.”

Jimin’s mouth dropped open. 

Were you trying to—?!

“Oh—no please that-that’s not necessary—I could never take advantage of—”

You giggled again.  

“I am not offering my body, Park Jimin.”

Jimin breathed a heavy sigh of relief then shook his head with a wry chuckle. 

“Well considering the circumstances I can hardly be blamed for assuming you might be. And honestly most men would jump at the chance to—”

“You...are not most men.” 

Jimin’s eyes narrowed beneath his blindfold. 

“Little she-wolf—I may not be wrestling bears for fun or bare knuckle boxing in the town square, but I am still an alpha.”

The weight of his command poured over your body as he spoke the last word. There was no order or intent—he had simply given you a taste of his power. 

Aside from your direct blood relatives, no alpha had ever dared unleash their compel in your presence—therefore you were utterly unprepared for the effect it had on you—

Utterly unprepared for the strange surge of want so potent and profound that it stole the breath from your body. 

It was primal—invigorating—

Sensual.

You and your wolf may not have been entirely connected yet, but she was suddenly quite vocal about her desire to fully bask in Park Jimin’s attention.

A wicked grin played over his lips as he leaned in closer and you could almost feel the soft brush of his lips against your cheek. 

“Did you think I would not desire the touch of a beautiful woman in the moonlight?” he whispered. 

Please touch me, Alpha. 

Your eyes widened. 

Dear goddess. Your inner wolf was turning out to be a shameless hussy. 

“You might desire it, but you are far too  honorable to accept it as payment for a debt.”

Jimin drew back warily. 

You were correct of course. After all he had refused you when he believed that was your intent but—

“How could you know that?”

Evade. Evade now. 

“Well... how could you know I was beautiful? You’re blindfolded.”

He shrugged and your wolf took careful note of the way it made all the pretty muscles in his back and shoulders ripple. 

He will give us such strong—

Oh boy. 

He will do no such thing. Please calm down. 

“Not everything must be seen with your eyes.”

Is that how you found me? All those years ago...

Questions churned chaotically beneath your consciousness but you dared not give voice to them. 

Focus.

“I must repay this debt. Ask for what you want and—if it is in my power—I swear it will be yours.”

Jimin smiled again, but this time it was somehow softer. For a moment he looked almost…

Sad. 

“I’m afraid that the only thing I have ever wanted is not within your power to give...and I dare not ask you or anyone else for it.”

For her. 

He sighed and drew even farther away from you—in fact it seemed like he was preparing to leave. 

No. 

Your hand reached out almost of it's its own accord and wrapped tightly around his wrist. The contact sent a shock of searing heat through his veins and he froze. 

“Please alpha. It is not acceptable for someone like me—” a leader, a Luna, “—to owe another my life and offer nothing in return. You must let me pay my debt.”

Omega, his wolf growled, sweet perfect omega. 

Suppressors may have hidden your scent, but the siren song of an omega pleading prettily in his ear was unmistakable—irresistible…

“What if all I want is your name?”

You sighed deeply. 

“I cannot give you that. My name is… not mine to offer.”

Jimin laughed. 

“A woman I cannot remember with a name I cannot know and whose face I cannot see.” He shook his head. “Perhaps you are just a figment of my imagination.”

It was hard to explain what happened next...For whatever reason his words cut you deeply and you were overcome with the desire—no need—to refute them somehow. 

“I’m real enough,” you whispered, bringing his hand to your cheek. 

Jimin was genuinely beginning to wonder if you were a witch as well as a she-wolf. Being close to you was intoxicating and the urge to draw you in was steadily overpowering every other thought.

“Could I ask you for a kiss, then?”

“You—...You saved my life and all you want... is a kiss?”

The air grew heavier as the strange magnetic pull between you swelled to a silent inescapable crescendo. 

“In Seoul I often searched for someone who could ease my loneliness, yet each time I walked away emptier than before.” His thumb brushed gently over your lips and your eyes fluttered shut. “I have never had a kiss that meant anything to me.”

But yours might. 

It was unclear who moved first, whether he pulled you to him or you surged forward but when your bodies aligned and your lips met his for the first time it was as if you had never been separate from one another. 

As if you had always been deeply—intimately —together. 

The indescribable feel of him lit over your senses like a struck match. It was an ignition in the purest sense of the word— a fiery visceral awakening fueled by a consuming flood of desire. 

Yes, Alpha. 

He might never see your face or hear your name, but Jimin knew he would remember the taste of you for the rest of his life. It was hot and bright like liquid sunshine— a pure relentless light flowing through him where there was once only darkness. 

A soft needy moan rose up from your chest and he growled in primal satisfaction as you melted against him. 

Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt of their own accord, desperately trying to bring him closer until he wrapped his arms around you in a heated embrace. 

“Please,” he begged breathlessly against your mouth. “Please tell me who you are.”

The words crashed over you like a bucket of ice —dousing the hazy pleasure of his kiss with a cold bite of reality. Suddenly you were wrenching yourself away from him and your wolf whimpered in misery at the loss of his touch. 

“I can’t,” you whispered. 

And then you were gone. 

“Did someone hurt you?”

You looked up to find Jin taking in your tears with cold fury. 

Twin knives were already gleaming dangerously in his hands and he appeared ready to filet whichever bastard was foolish enough to make you cry. 

“No,” you sniffed—well aware of how pitiful you were at the moment—crying in the corner of your cousin’s kitchen. “I got myself into this mess without any help—as usual.”

Jin sighed and slid down next to you. 

“Tell me.”

“Something happened that I…I didn’t intend.”

“Oh I knew that already. The Luna isn’t supposed to be running around on the night of Lover’s Moon in a forest full of blind horny wolves—“

You snorted and shook your head. 

“You’re absolutely right. I should have stayed away.”

Jin’s eyes narrowed and he wondered if perhaps you had caught Kim Namjoon with another omega. Nothing would be official until after the Change of course, but your bond with him was basically a foregone conclusion at this point. 

“You went looking for someone...didn’t you.”

You nodded miserably—all but confirming his fears. He made a mental note to push Namjoon in the swamp at the next available opportunity. 

“You know... the stories say that a Luna is powerfully drawn to her mate under the Lover’s Moon—that her wolf can sense him even before the Change.”  He reached over and gently began to brush the tears from your eyes. “So it’s not surprising that you sought him out, but it’s not really fair to hold whatever it is you saw against him. There is no relationship between you yet and…” he chuckled, “kisses beneath festival moonlight don’t really mean anything anyways.”

It was clear that Jin had somehow gotten the entirely wrong impression, but perhaps that was for the best. 

No one knew of your connection to Jimin and no one had seen what passed between you. 

Still…

Something about his assessment stung you. 

“You really believe that? ...That a kiss exchanged tonight means nothing?”

“I do.” Jin spoke with conviction. “There’s ancient magic at play in those woods. You can’t always trust what you see—or what you feel.”

“Oh I...I didn’t know…”

After a moment you laid your head against his shoulder and let the last of your tears run silently down your cheek. 

“Jin-ah have you ever wanted something you knew you couldn’t have?”

“Yes.” He sighed heavily and pulled you in to snuggle a bit closer. “When I was younger I dreamed of having a mate just like everyone else…”

The words were so softly spoken—almost wistful. Your heart splintered just hearing them. 

“But… she could be out there—your mate.”

Jin shook his head. 

“When is the last time you heard of a female alpha?”

Fresh tears welled up in your eyes. 

“Jin…”

“Hey,” he whispered, “don’t waste your crying on me. I’ve long since come to terms with who and what I am.”

“You’re not sad anymore?”

“Well… maybe sometimes I am… but I had to accept that people like us are not like everyone else. Our destinies were written long before we were born.”

“And you believe you’re destined to be alone?”

“Wolves in a pack are never really alone.”

“Yes...but they can be lonely,” you whispered thinking back to Jimin’s words. 

For a moment Jin’s eyes were the saddest you had ever seen them. 

“Well...I suppose they can.”  Then he chuckled and gave your nose an affectionate little tap. “But you don’t need to worry about that. When the time comes Namjoon will take his place at your side and the two of you will build a wonderful life together... Isn’t that what you want?”

Isn’t it?

Your treacherous thoughts drifted back to the boy in the moonlight—to the way your body sang when he touched you and the strange insatiable desire to know him and be known by him in return.

“Please...Tell me who you are.”

A heavy ache settled in your heart. 

You were the Luna of the mountain nations. A true born moon princess. 

You could never be the woman who kissed Park Jimin underneath the stars. 

You were not like everybody else. 

“...Yes. That is what I want.”

——◐——

Now 

——◐——

Jimin’s heart pounded as he tore through the dark paths of the wood with Taehyung, Yoongi, and Jungkook close behind. 

He had never led an attack—had never been trained to command wolves in battle. 

It was his first true test of leadership and he hadn’t even been a leader for twenty-four hours. 

Yet the fears and anxieties that might have normally clouded his mind were notably absent. 

There was only you.

Ironically Jimin owed Namjoon yet another debt—this time for explaining what exactly someone like him was capable of. 

The alpha Jin captured had given up their plan and position after being exposed to Jimin’s unique gifting, so he had a concrete target in his mind… He suspected however, that your captors had taken precautions after leaving some of their men behind. They had shifted their camp. 

But it wouldn’t be enough to save them. 

Jimin didn’t need your location to find you. 

He spent years refusing to look at you, and even then he always knew exactly where you were. He could sense you in any crowd—hear your voice in a thousand.

Once it had tormented him cruelly to be so aware of you. 

Now it was the only thing keeping him sane. 

He followed the connection between his heart and yours like a lifeline and it guided him as surely as the stars. 

The alphas followed him without question. 

If any of them harbored lingering doubts before, they were firmly laid to rest after what they saw at the cottage. No ordinary wolf could do what he had done. 

The Alpha would bring back their Luna and retribution would be swift indeed. 

The drugs in your system kept swinging you in and out of lucidity like a nightmarish pendulum. You tried to shift after the initial nausea faded, but whatever they gave you kept your wolf caged beneath your skin. 

Jimin

The longing you felt for your mate was the only thing tethering you to reality. You could almost hear him echoing in the far corners of your mind—  

I’m coming Omega—hold on. 

I’ll find you. 

Part of you recognized that his voice was likely nothing more than the wistful creation of your drug-addled mind, still you clung to it like the last shred of hope while the minutes (or hours) flew past.

Chaos clouded your thoughts even in clearer moments as many unavoidable concerns forced their way through the haze. 

Jin was at the house with you when they broke in. You had no way of knowing if he survived. 

The men who took you were crass and irreverent. Their eyes followed your form with too much interest and too little respect. 

It was starting to get cold and (due to you nearly dismembering a high council member and needing to be compelled unconscious) you were still wearing a thin white ceremonial dress which offered very little protection from the elements. 

You wondered idly if your idiot captors would let you freeze to death before they accomplished whatever it was they took you for. They clearly needed you for something or you would have been long dead by now. 

None of them struck you as particularly brilliant planners so the mastermind must be somewhere else... 

Frankly the entire situation was as puzzling as it was troubling. Iron Claw had always gotten along well with your pack. 

Technically they were (almost) what the human governments called a vassal state. The presence of a Luna determined the dominant pack in a region and the Luna of the mountain nations had been born into Silver Fang—your pack—for the last thousand years or so. 

Why would they challenge us now? 

The birth of a Luna indicated that the goddess had chosen that pack to lead. Their willingness—not only to kidnap you—but to go against the dominant pack by doing so was alarming to say the least. 

A sudden explosion of movement and sound interrupted your contemplation. Motion erupted all around you—boots pounding on the ground, men falling into their wolf forms, knives being drawn… 

You lifted your head—straining forward to see the source of the commotion—and nearly collapsed in relief when you finally did. 

Alpha

Your mate stood at the edge of the camp flanked by two enormous black wolves. 

A deadly looking jingum sword gleamed dangerously in his right hand. You recognized it immediately as your great-grandfather’s combat blade—the thousand year-old weapon of the Silver Fang Alphas. 

Relief flooded your chest all over again at the sight of it. Only Jin could have given him that sword—which meant he was still alive. 

The black wolves—Yoongi and Jungkook—snarled viciously but made no move to attack. 

Your captors were still scrambling into some sort of combat formation when Jimin finally spoke. 

“You have violated our sacred laws, trespassed in sovereign pack lands, kidnapped a Luna under the protection of our goddess, abducted the mate of the Silver Fang Alpha, and risked open war between our peoples.” He took a single step forward. “Surrender now and I will be merciful.”

The biggest of your captors—a man you recognized as the de facto leader—spat viciously on the ground. 

“You are not my Alpha,” he growled.

A cold—almost cruel—smile twisted over Jimin’s lips.

“Very well.”

Then he dropped to one knee and a massive grey wolf—Taehyung—leapt over his head and tore out the defiant leader’s throat before he even hit the ground. 

Your mouth dropped open. 

Bangtan formation.

Yoongi and Jungkook lunged forward in opposite directions, tackling their targets to the forest floor in a bloody clash of teeth and claws. 

One of the larger Iron Claw alphas half-shifted and charged Jimin but his arm shot out lightning fast, catching his attacker by the throat to send him flying through the air into a tree. 

The next several minutes could only be described as terrifyingly beautiful.

It was immediately clear that Jimin had been holding back when he fought Namjoon. 

He dispatched his opponents with such elegant savagery it was almost art.

You were so mesmerized watching Jimin sensually sword dance his way through a dozen alphas nearly twice his size that you almost missed Taehyung’s wolf rushing over with a dagger clenched between his teeth. 

Luna are you okay? 

You grinned and held up your rope-bound wrists. 

“I’ll be better once you pass me that knife.”

Taehyung nodded once and dropped the blade at your feet before tackling another wolf that was tearing towards the two of you. 

You sawed through the ties around your ankle first then twisted your arms to try and slice through the restraints on your wrist. 

The Iron Claw wolves were clearly no match for Jimin and his alphas. 

Jungkook and Yoongi chased after the few who were trying to run while Taehyung half-shifted to subdue the handful of wolves left alive as prisoners. Only Jimin continued to fight as the last three of your captors still standing took turns being slammed into the dirt by his strikes. 

He was clearly capable of dispatching them, but you were fairly convinced that you would die if you had to stay away from him for another second. The ropes, however, were surprisingly thick and the angle you were cutting them at wasn’t the best. If only—

You were almost free when you saw it. 

One of your captors had pulled a hunting javelin from their supply wagon. He must have hid himself at the onset of the fight, but now he was comfortably concealed by the shadows—and taking aim at Jimin. 

Your heart dropped into your stomach. 

The attacker appeared to handle the weapon with familiarity. He was too far back—too well hidden—Jimin would never see him in time—

The last cord around your wrist snapped and you were on your feet, pushing through the combined haze of fury and sedatives to charge the wolf who dared attack your mate. 

By the time he saw you it was far too late. 

Under the effects of the drug your aim was a little skewed but you weren’t Kim Seokjin’s cousin for nothing. 

One clean flick of your wrist and the dagger shot through the air, burying itself between the brute’s shoulder blades—all the way to the hilt. 

His body fell to the ground just as Jimin sent the last of your captors careening into a pile of previously defeated foes. 

For a moment all was quiet. 

Then your eyes locked across the distance and everything around you sharpened to a single whispered word. 

“Jimin.”

He had run non-stop for miles and torn apart a dozen wolves to get to your side—no amount of space between you now was tolerable. 

The sword clattered to the forest floor as he moved toward you—desperate to feel you—to wrap himself around you and know that you were safe. 

What happened next was as natural as breathing.

You opened to him and he lifted you into his arms, taking your lips in a hot unrepentant kiss. 

Fire exploded across your senses, burning away everything but the touch and taste of him. Every part of you was at once fiercely and gloriously alive. Desperate moans passed between you as he licked into your mouth—a dark primal promise of the pleasure he would take between your thighs. 

“Alpha,” you whimpered, too delirious with want to manage anything else. 

Suddenly Jimin’s eyes shot open. His hands flew to cup your face, searching it with a mixture of realization and disbelief.

“You… It was you.”

If you are already on the taglist, then I will automatically tag you for the next part! If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know.

Please tell me what you thought of this update! I am really excited to hear your thoughts! Feedback really does fuel my writing and hearing from you means a lot to me! On days that its hard to write, I go back and I read your lovely words and it makes me want to keep going! I cannot overstate its value in my heart! Seriously this story keeps going because you guys have been so supportive and wonderful. You have no idea how much just a few word can brighten my world and fire up my muse. 

[rainbowxmisa]

Could she be... What I've always been waiting for?

Michael Langdon has been a lot of things in his short life; a special boy, the chosen one, a delinquent, a warlock, the alfa, the supreme, the antichrist... But what he believed the most, is that he always has been a monster. Or at least, that's what everyone had made him believe his entire life.

When he arrived at the outpost 3, he still believed it. He was received with a lot of different glances; glances of fear, glances of curiosity, glances of malice… but when he looked at her, he saw a glance full of something entirely different from what he was used to; it was a glance full of kindness. And he wondered why he felt that she was so different from the rest of them.

From that moment, he started to feel curiosity towards her.

It was like she belonged to a different place, but at the same time, it was like she felt at total peace with her surroundings. Everyone at the outpost 3 was dying to get out of there as soon as possible; but on the other hand, she seemed comfortable where she was. Everyone was trying to please him to get a place at the Sanctuary, but not her.

At some point, he started to feel like some sort of magnetism towards her. It was like the universe was trying to tell him to get closer to her; to know her better. And he was happy to oblige.

They shared gazes in the corridors, always accompanied by a sweet smile from her, but it was on his second night at the outpost 3 when he finally chose to approach her. She was playing the piano, lost on that world that looked so entirely hers. He decided to sit on the stairs rather than the sofas to listen to the melancholic tune she was playing, not wanting to disturb her. He observed her, trying to understand why his chest felt so tight every time he glanced at her.

When the song was over and she was about to stand up, she noticed that she wasn’t alone. Her gaze found Michael and she smiled softly.

“Did I wake you up?” she asked concerned.

“Oh, no. Don’t worry about that. I was already awake.” he answered. “Can you play that song again?” Michael asked, approaching her.

“Of course.”

She started playing the tune once more, carefully, like she wanted to slow time with the music, and then, she was lost in her world again. With her eyes closed, she let her fingers roam the keys like they were a second skin for her.

Michael basked on her beauty; on the peace and tranquility she radiated. And in that moment, he wished that his life could be just like that; full of peace… just the two of them.

She played the last part of the song opening her eyes and looking at Michael, always with that sweet smile of hers.

“How’s the song called?” asked Michael.

“I love you.” she answered, making Michael’s heart drum on his ribcage like a thunder.

“Excuse me?” he asked confused.

“That’s the title of the song, ‘I love you’.” she said with a shy smile.

For a moment, Michael thought she was saying that she loved him, and for some reason, he liked the idea.

“Why aren’t you sleeping like everybody else?” asked him, trying to change the topic.

“I like the quiet of the night, even though you can’t know when it’s day and when it’s night inside here.” she said, smiling brightly.

That made him smile. And smiling with so ease was something he wasn’t used to.

He wanted her to rest, but at the same time, he wanted to know her better, and this was the perfect occasion.

“It seems like you don’t like to be surrounded by the rest of the people of the outpost.” he observed.

“I tolerate most of them, I think. But I’ve always liked to be on my own.” she answered, shrugging her shoulders.

Michael related to that, and he understood why she wanted to be on her own in a place like this.

“Then I understand why you roam the outpost like a vampire.” he said with a sided smile, trying to joke a little.

That made her laugh; and with that beautiful and jovial laugh, his heart started to beat faster and faster. He swore his heart never felt more alive until he met her.

“I like vampires, so I won’t complain about that.” she stated proudly.

Michael liked that she was so open with him, like she didn’t fear him like the rest of the outpost. She was like a ray of sunshine, even though he could feel that there was dark inside her, too.

“What else do you like?” he asked with curiosity.

“That’s a tricky question, because I like a lot of things. But I suppose there’s little left of what I used to like, except for one thing: books!” she claimed extending her arms to the big bookshelves that surrounded them.

“Then lucky you to have so many books to read. What books do you enjoy the most?” he was starting to feel that connection towards her growing and growing with each passing second.

“Hmm, I suppose any book with an interesting plot is more than enough for me.” she answered, pursing her lips.

“May I make you a recommendation?” he asked, approaching one of the bookshelves.

“Of course!”

He roamed one by one all of the bookshelves until he found the book he was looking for. He remembered each one of these books like his own hand; he was fond of the memory of this place when it was a school for gifted youngsters. He approached her again and gave her the book in question.

“I really enjoyed reading this book years ago, and I hope you will enjoy it, too.” he said with a little smile.

“What is this book about?” she asked, touching the cover with tenderness.

“Since you like vampires, I thought you may like this story. It’s a story of a vampire falling in love with a human. I don’t want to say too much, but it has a lot of romance and drama.” he explained.

“Sounds interesting, I like it already! I really can’t wait to start reading it, thank you, Mr. Langdon.” she said sincerely.

“You can call me Michael.” he stated.

“Then, thank you, Michael.” she said with a bright smile, embracing the book, and without knowing it; a piece of Michael’s heart, too, making him feel less like a monster.

On his third night at the outpost 3, Michael went back to the library in search of her, knowing very well he’ll find her there. And he wasn’t wrong. There she was in one of the sofas by the fireplace, reading the book he recommended to her.

“Are you enjoying the book?” he asked softly, sitting right by her side.

“I’ve been reading it for hours, I’m loving it!!” she exclaimed with joy.

“I’m glad to hear that.” he answered, proud of himself.

“It’s a beautiful story, but it’s so sad…” she said, looking to him so intensely that he felt her gaze on his very soul.

“What is so sad?” he asked, approaching her a little bit more, enjoying that intimate moment between them.

“That their love is condemned to death. Everyone sees the vampire like a monster, like a beast incapable of love. But they’re wrong. He is capable of love, he’s nothing but a good and caring lover to his future wife.” she explained, her words full of passion and anger.

Michael felt his heart ache with desire and longing. He wished intensely for her to see him like the vampire of the story; someone worthy of love.

“And what do you want to happen at the end?” he asked.

“That they could have a happy life, to prove everyone wrong.” she said with conviction.

Michael knew the end of the story, and he knew she was gonna be upset with it.

“Then better you keep reading it.” he said, feeling a little bit bold and opening his arms so she could be more comfortable reading. Or maybe he just wanted an excuse to cuddle a little bit with her.

Hearing her little sobs, he knew she was about to end the book.

“What's the matter?” he asked concerned.

“I can’t keep reading it.” she answered in tears.

“Why not?” he asked, rubbing her arm with tenderness.

“Because my heart hurts.” she explained with grief.

“I told you it was a drama, too. Do you want me to read to you the end?”

“Yes.” she answered, wiping away her tears and passing to him the book.

She cuddled more into him, trying to search more comfort.

Michael started reading with a soothing voice, feeling the quiet sobs of hers in his shoulder where she was hiding her face.

“The end.” he stated softly when he arrived at the end of the story.

“It’s so unfair.” she said so mad at the book.

“It is.” conceded Michael.

“Why couldn't they be happy? Why was it such a crime to fall in love with a vampire? The monster of the story isn't the vampire, it's the people that killed his wife just because they couldn't understand their love.” she said full of rage.

“I guess not everyone has a good heart like you to see that.” he said, caressing her cheek, feeling again his chest tight at the sight of her crying with her heart broken.

“Why everyone is so scared of you?” she asked suddenly, touching the hand that was caressing her cheek, looking right into his eyes.

“What do you mean?” he thought that this was the moment where everything ended; where she finally discovered the monster he was.

“Everyone after their interviews said you were evil, that something was wrong with you. But when I look at you, the only thing I see is someone, that like the vampire of this story, was misunderstood. Someone capable of love, wanting desperately to reach to that light buried inside of him.” she explained, approaching their faces a little bit more.

“And why aren’t you scared of me, too?” he asked, feeling their lips just millimeters apart, wishing she truly meant what she just said.

“Because since the first moment I arrived to this place, I knew I was meant to die, but after meeting you, at least I can do it knowing that you always treated me with kindness, and that I never saw the monster all of them talk about.” she explained with a smile.

Kindness. That was just what he felt about her the first time their glances met. And he really wanted to believe her.

“You’re not gonna die. Okay?” he assured her.

“And why are you so sure about that?” she asked.

“Because you’re coming to the Sanctuary with me.” he stated.

“But you still didn’t interview me.” she said confused.

“Do you think I need an interview to know I want to spend the rest of my life with you?” Michael asked, with their lips impossibly close.

“I don’t know, maybe you needed to know me more before.” she said, trying not to smile.

“We’ll have plenty of time in the Sanctuary to know each other more.” he said, joining finally their lips on a much desired kiss; a sweet kiss full of love and yearning.

After they lost the count of the kisses they shared, she started to feel a little bit sleepy. Michael carried her in his arms to his room. After undressing and getting into the bed, Michael refused to sleep. He used the time to caress her arm and her face with delicacy, basking once more in her ethereal beauty. Tomorrow will be Halloween, and after his plan will triunfaly work, they’ll have the rest of their lives to share in the Sanctuary, finding that peace that he desperately wanted. But not the light though, because the light he always searched inside of him, was lying just beside him.

She was the reason that made him truly believe he wasn’t a monster all along.

He was worthy of love; worthy of her love.

For the one's wondering what song was the Reader playing on the piano, is this one: 'I love you' by RIOPY I was highly inspired by this clip of Skam France where Lucas plays the same song: SKAM FRANCE EP.2 S3: Vendredi 19h34 - Surprenant

I really hope you all enjoyed this sweet and self indulgent story. Michael always deserved better :)

You can also read this story on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30491691

[captnjacksparrow]

I wish people would stop caring about the canon pairings and marriages in Naruto/Boruto because they should have absolutely no relevance for SNS shippers in terms of validating said ship. Those who say we are delusional because “Well, Naruto married Hinata so she is THE one he loves!” (I'll focus more on Naruto's marriage here... Is Sasuke's even a marriage?) simply don’t get that it just doesn't really matter who Naruto and Sasuke married because that in no way diminishes their feelings for each other. The main plot of the series revolves around the bond between Naruto and Sasuke. It is their story. They are each other's most important people and this was established back in Land of Waves arc even before the dramatic events that take place on the bridge - the whole point of that very first arc was making this a fact right from the beginning, because the story has always been and was always supposed to be about the two of them and the profound love and understanding that grows between them ever since they exchanged glances, smiles and pouts as lonely little broken kids. No reason to list all proof of their feelings and bond here, it has been done extensively, and if somebody watched the show/read the manga and missed it, they are missing half a brain. That these boys love each other more than anyone else is absolutely obvious.

So what about the canon pairings? Kishimoto stated time and time again that his focus was never romance, and that is not because he can't write romance as we know it (he clearly did), but it’s a matter of concept: what HE considers romance is the attraction that unites people with the purpose of marriage (confessing your romantic love for japanese people is the same as saying you want to be in a relationship, because feelings shouldn’t be voiced without an intention), and that, to him, is NOT the greatest expression of love, nor does it represent the most special bond two people can share.

It is understandable that westerners put so much weight into marriage because we consider it the epitome of love. Well, the truth is marriage in Japanese culture is mainly the only socially admissible means to have children and has very little to do with romantic love. In fact, in Japanese literature, it is much more common for unmarried couples to love each other than married ones. Obviously, there is no absolute truth when it comes to feelings and human relationships, what I'm doing here is generalising social norms and expectations (not exposing my opinion on them - that would turn this rant into something else entirely). A large number of Japanese marriages are loveless (and arranged, but no point getting into that either) and what motivates choosing a spouse is their ability to fulfill familial duties, meaning: is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? Is the man willing and capable of putting his occupation above everything else, working extremely hard and for long hours, with total dedication and diligence for his job, to the point of not even seeing his family most of the time, as an honorable man should do as a provider? That's what makes a GOOD married couple: two people following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family (again, please, this is not MY opinion!). What a Japanese man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children.

Do these descriptions ring any bells?

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true. Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it, and trying to discredit the obvious unmatched connection and feelings between two characters because they never got married to each other or married someone else is ludicrous. Yeah, a married couple can love each other deeply and above anyone else, but that is just not what marriage is ABOUT in Japanese culture and definitely not what Kishimoto wanted us to believe was the case here after dedicating 699 chapters to a story about the special bond between two boys that didn’t culminate in marriage. 

You know what IS a symbol of romantic love in Japan? Being willing to die together when the love you feel goes against your moral obligations, holding on to the belief that you will be reunited in the afterlife, where you will be free of any burden and able to love freely.

Are more bells being rung?! 

Oh, some bonus info: We also tend to associate sex with romantic love. Well, Japanese married couples with children rarely have sex, if at all. After a woman becomes a mother, she is no longer considered sexually desirable and becomes a mother figure to her husband as well (what happened to Hinata’s big "attributes" in Boruto? Huh). This is especially true when couples sleep in separate rooms and the mother shares a bed with her children. (Hinata co-sleeps with Himawari and we know Naruto sleeps in a separate room. Just saying.)

What's your say?

Is Sasuke's even a marriage?

Geezz!!!! LoLLLLL!!!! This sentence just made me cackle so hard for a good 5 minutes, Anon!!!!!

Hmmm.... So let's get back to your ask.

Well, I don't know how to react to this ask, Anon. Because, I don't know whether you are from Japan or you have a very close Japanese friend who might've told you all these cultural thing about marriage and relationships.

So, what I am going to do is to analyze from the facts you have provided , combine with my own cultural relevance and provide my answer. If there is any Japanese readers who are reading this, you can confirm or dispel this by sending me an ask. But again, I don't want exceptional case like, 'No, my family is different'. I want to know about the general lifestyle of a common citizen and their married life.

Having said that, this ask made me just yell at myself, 'Goshh!!!! Seriously???'

Because whatever you said, It fucking exist in my country too and is still followed by almost 70% of people in my country and I absolutely detest it. That is,

Most of the marriages here are loveless nd arranged - Check

Is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? - Check

People following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family - Check Check

What a man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). - Check Check

Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children. - Awww!!! A million Check.

That's why I was envious of Western people in this aspect, because they have a freedom to choose their own partner without any time constraints and when they do, their marriage can be said to be 'The Epitome of Love'.

My parents marriage is also an arranged one. And whenever they have disagreement and that leads to verbal war, they let out this words, 'I'm here with you because of my 2 daughters otherwise I would've left you long back'. So... Yeah. Here, most of the marriages are child-centered. Again, it's not just my opinion. Majority of the arranged marriage based family revolve around their child.

And I was born, a year after my parents' marriage, and If I hadn't been born, then people will question my parent's fertility factor and start to discriminate them. So, I can boldly claim that, I was not born out of Love or something. I was born because of social obligations.

But it doesn't mean, my parents don't love each other now. How should I say???? It's like a Stockholm Syndrome??!!!! Like when you stay with a person for a long time, you will eventually start to develop some feelings over the course of the time. It took them 15 years to come to a complete understanding of each other. It's the same case with many couples here.

Considering all these, Sasuke never even stayed with Sakura enough to make her understand him, So I wonder what kind of couple are they????? Weird!!!!!

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true.

Awww!!!! Man, Seriously???? I made this claim long back in this post where I said, these women were used as a tool to bring out Next Generation Kids. My claim was based on Analytical Perspective.

And then one of the rabid SS stan reblogged my post and pulled out a hetero card stating, 'They are married and blah blahh...' when in reality, I never discussed about their sexuality in that post. That post was purely based on the number of pages each hetero couples shared with each other against the number of pages Sasuke & Naruto shared together.

Now, you have provided a cultural perspective for those shitty canon pairings.

On one side, I feel the need to smirk, because I am right.

But on the other side, I feel bad like, 'Is this how, this show must go on?? What are you trying to convey from this?'.

You know what IS a symbol of romantic love in Japan? Being willing to die together when the love you feel goes against your moral obligations, holding on to the belief that you will be reunited in the afterlife, where you will be free of any burden and able to love freely.

Hmmm.... It's interesting to know this. Anon.

This is where it differs slightly in my country.

Romantic love here is,

No matter what happens, I'll stand with you, You are just not alone. I will leave my fucking clan, parents, relatives if they don't approve you and we will start a new life somewhere.

[[Here, marriages happen mostly between their clan members. If you love a person from another clan, you will be ostracized or tortured or honour killed by your very parents. It just differs from clan to clan. I was subjected to this same problem and that's why I hate my Clan and left my parents. And this is also one of the reason why I love Itachi. Because we share similar Ideals. That is, Not to be obsessed over your clan and think beyond this restriction.

Also, here in Asian Culture if someone is willing to leave their family (when they don’t approve you) and prefer you over everything.... It means.... that's some Love beyond Comprehension. Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his Family (like Sakura and Kakashi) and like to stand with Sasuke... Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his own family and go on a long mission with Sasuke]]

So does it remind you of anything?????

It's the whole SNS dynamics starting from their childhood to VoTE2. That's why I started to ship SNS, because it represents the true love we always wish for.

Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it

This is very true, Anon.

I mean, they don’t even have to take a groundbreaking route. 

They should have given everyone an open ending, just like Kishi left at chapter 699. What is the need of a marriage, if Naruto is going to adopt Kawaki??? If Orochimaru was going to create a Baby Artificially?? If Rock Lee is going to have a child out of nowhere???

But I am happy that SNS bond is the only one that wasn’t diminished in this hot mess called Burrito. So, atleast we should be happy about that.

When someone pulls the marriage card, I just block them immediately because they are not even worth having a good conversation. NH will pull out the Last movie and SS will pull out, ‘Sasuke called Sakura ‘My Wife’.... So, it’s just pointless.

So, to conclude

Considering my Analytical perspective, I already made earlier in other post and your ask which provides some insight about Japanese culture which eerily resembles the culture I belong to, It all makes sense that this whole pairings and trash is just for the sake of bringing out Next Generation series and those boys never loved those girls whole heartedly. And I agree with you on this.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 5

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Pairing: Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader (Gender neutral) Rating: T for language and mentions/references to an (emotionally) abusive relationship. Mild, brief violence. Warnings: TW for referenced emotional abuse, mild TW for possible physical abuse (sorry, angry Dani is not 100% gentle with people she doesn't love-love) Notes: Music for this chapter here. If you're following this story and really want to continue reading, but worry about the TWs for this chapter, just send me an anonymous message and I'll write up an alternative version of this post. It's not something I would do without it being requested, but it's also not a big deal so don't feel like you're bothering me if you want that. Previous Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Tocatta

Chapter 5: Poco a Poco (Italian: Little by little)

Finding a schedule for lessons to follow proved to be an insurmountable task. Consistency was something that Daniela struggled with greatly, even when it came to things that she genuinely cared about. Things like ensuring you lived long enough to entertain her. Instead of working with you to find a balance that worked for both of you, the youngest Dimitrescu daughter seemed intent on doing things in her own time. Little by little. Which would have been fine, if the two of you weren’t restricted by time.

Fate wasn’t entirely unkind, however. There were still a few things that Daniella recalled from her “youth”, bits and pieces of musical theory, the bare basics of reading sheet music. Not having to teach her proper posture or the structure of a piano would save you a little bit of time. On top of that, you had been informed that, somewhere in the castle, there were a few books of sheet music you could borrow. Assuming you were eventually able to find them, that is. So far they had eluded you, but you hadn’t even had much time to search, as you were still expected to perform your usual Maiden-related tasks.

In the end, it was Daniela herself that proved to be the biggest obstacle in your way.

“Look,” Daniela said one day, barely ten minutes into a lesson, “I think we should take a break… maybe have some fun?” One of her hands is resting on top of yours, the other tucking your hair behind your ear. There’s a smirk on her lips, unsurprisingly, and she’s mere inches away from kissing you. If not for the heavy threat hanging over your head, you would have already thrown yourself into her arms. Instead, all you can do is sigh, turning away from her as you do. “Don’t be like that, sweet thing. C’mon, no one can hear us right now. Might as well enjoy ourselves.”

“Babe. Darling. Buttercup, honey, cute little button on a bear, you are not the brightest bulb in the lighting department,” you replied, holding the bridge of your nose between two fingers. Instantly Daniela is upset, giving you a (thankfully) playful smack on the arm. Before she can protest more you continue speaking. “Your family would not hear us making out, true, but they would definitely hear us not playing the piano. I’m pretty sure your mother already thinks I’m doomed to fail as a teacher, and the last thing I need is to give her a reason to drop the curtains this early into our performance.”

“First of all, I am not an idiot,” Daniela said, a bit of a growl to her voice. “Secondly, what harm can a few minutes really do? Don’t you think I’ve been working hard enough to earn a little reward?” Now she’s holding a finger under your chin, lifting it up, making sure you’re looking right at her. There’s no dissuading her, it seems, as she leans in for a soft kiss. This was one of the more frustrating aspects of dealing with (courting?) her; communication felt like a one-man play, except the audience was as likely to throw knives as rotten tomatoes. Whenever Daniela acted like this, pushing away your concerns in favor of her pleasure, it felt helpless to try and resist her.

So you kissed back, wrapped your arms around her, and hoped that she’d be more open to compromise afterwards. At least kissing her was nice. Even though it had only been a week since you first kissed her, she was already getting better, evidently learning through experience. The passion behind her movements had grown as well, leaving you a tad breathless. Regardless of her odd perception of romance, and her insistence that she knew best, you found yourself charmed by her. It was scary. Terrifying, really, how you felt yourself falling under her spell. Wait. Hadn’t you been in this sort of situation before?... Staying with someone who wasn’t good for you? Why were you kissing her? Why were you starting to tremble, tears in your eyes, mind falling down a slippery slope of memories?

By the time you snap out of it, you’re sitting on the floor, Daniela awkwardly kneeling by your side. What the fuck? You think, sniffling a little. Head spinning, mind reeling, you struggle to form coherent thoughts. Next to you Daniela is unsure of how to help. But she’s trying, sort of, one hand holding your own, the other gently rubbing your back. She’s saying something, the words going right over your head. Understanding her takes times, focus, like tuning an instrument until the pitch is just right.

“I don’t understand, we were only kissing, what happened? Can you even hear me? Is this your way of tricking me into not making out with you? Because that’s a total dick move and-” she rambles, only stopping when you give her hand a soft squeeze. Then she’s meeting your gaze, looking uncomfortable, shoulders tense. “You’ve been weird for a while. Distant. Like you don’t want to touch me anymore. Don’t you still love me?”

There’s real, honest pain in her eyes when she speaks. If the timing had been different… you’d have thrown your arms around her and covered her face in kisses, promising to hold her onto she felt better, promising that yes you cared. You cared so fucking much. But she’s making you exhausted; every second has to be focused on her, not you. Every moment of concern is flipped around until she’s the victim, or at least the one that needs comforting. You didn’t think that she even realized what she was doing. Well, you hoped that she didn’t, wanted to believe that if she understood she’d change.

“Remember the first day we kissed?... how you pulled me close, and I kissed you harder, and we started…. Remember how I made a move and you pushed me away? I’ll never forget the look on your face. I felt like shit afterwards. I should have asked before I tried anything,” you explain, letting go of Daniela’s hand so you could pull your knees to your chest. Somehow you can’t bring yourself to maintain eye contact with her- not right now, not when you could still remember what it felt like to be on her side of this story. “I don’t want to push your boundaries, or make you feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do. The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you like that.”

“Oh bullshit,” Daniela snarled, shocking you, before getting to her feet. Confusion doesn’t begin to describe how you feel in the moment as you watch her pace back and forth. Both her hands are clenched into fists, and she’s refusing to look at you. There’s a buzzing sound in the room, faint but growing louder, like she’s a split second away from entering swarm mode. “We’re a couple, aren’t we? Shouldn’t you be able to tell what I want? Shouldn’t it be obvious what I desire, when I’m pinning you to the wall and shoving my tongue down your throat? What more do you require?”

“Holy shit, Dani, I know communication isn’t your forte, but have you really not even considered talking to me? That’s simple, easy, literally the first thing that should come to mind!” You snapped, too in disbelief to keep your voice down. For a moment Daniela stops her pacing, turning to stare at you with narrowed eyes. If you weren’t so mad, you’d be convinced she was ready to kill you. But she doesn’t move to grab her sickle, or otherwise advance on you, instead groaning and tugging on her own hair in frustration.

“Because that’s not romantic, genius!” She replied. Some dots start to connect in your mind, but you lack the full context, as if looking at sheet music with no clefs or time signature. It’s not until Daniela continues that you really understand; and, by extension, realize just how ridiculous this whole mess is. “None of the books I’ve read involve conversations like this. People just… they just love each other! And figure it out as they go along, reading each other’s body language and facial expressions, inferring what they need to know through touches and reactions. Why can’t we do that?”

“This isn’t a fucking book, dumbass! I don’t have powers like you, I can’t just read your mind and figure out what you want. That’s not how relationships work! Communication is key. And you can’t just talk, you have to listen, hard, and understand,” you continued, still on the floor, heart pounding so furiously you thought it might leap from your chest at any moment. As angry as you are, you wonder if you’re being too loud, too angry, wonder if there was a better way to get through to Daniela. Before you can think of a solution the air is ripped from your lungs. Your “partner”/student is grabbing you by the front of your shirt, yanking you to your feet. Instinct makes you struggle against her, as useless as it is.

“I. Told. You. I’m not an idiot!” Her free hand comes up to your face, cupping your cheek for a moment, then pulling away just as fast. When it moves back up she’s gripping onto her sickle. The sharp edge ends up resting against your neck, the slightest movement threatening to cut you open. This is the most Daniela has ever openly threatened you, and in that moment all your anger melts back into fear, tears spilling down your cheeks. A flicker of something shows in her eyes, making you think that even she doesn’t like where this is going. “Give me one reason not to end this right now.”

“... I don’t… I can’t think. I… Why would you?” The words leave you in a rush, even with the pauses, and each syllable makes the sickle press into your skin a little more. There’s sure to be a cut there, though you can’t even begin to estimate how bad it is. The blade is sharp, clearly, and it hardly even hurts as it slices you. Thankfully the sensation doesn’t last long. Once you’re done speaking, Daniela’s grip loosens considerably, hand slowly letting your shirt go. Her other hand takes a few seconds to move, but eventually pulls away without any fuss. For a few seconds she just watches you, eyes filled to the brim with a rich sorrow, mouth open but unmoving.

“No lesson tomorrow. I need a break,” Daniela whispers, barely audible. Then she’s dusting herself off, no longer looking at you, and heading towards the exit. Just like the first time you met, she pauses in the doorway. “How’s that for communication, hmm?” When she laughs, it’s empty, forced. Part of you wants to stop her and ask if she’s okay.

Instead, you watch her leave, unspoken words tangling with your tongue until you almost can’t swallow.

Then your feet move, automatically, leading you to the piano. You sit down without thinking. You touch the keys without thinking. When you play, you play without thinking. It’s just a song, the world tells you, and you have no choice but to play. It’s not just a song, you know this, but you can’t think. Can’t argue against the personification of your isolation, or the embodiment of your trauma. All you can do is let yourself get lost in the music, softly, recalling lyrics from a forgotten time.

I’ve been running all my life, trying to find a place to hide ‘Thought that I had settled down, but I guess things are changing now Don’t make me go, don’t make me go Just don’t make me go, this feels like home

As soon as the last note fades out you stand, wordlessly, and leave. Your feet carry you down corridor after corridor, past maidens working, some of whom gasp when they see you. But you don’t stop, not even when you cross paths with Lady Bela, who eyes you with surprising concern. She doesn’t try to stop you, though, and you doubt you would have cared if she had tried. It’s not until you are within your shared room that you finally stop moving. It is there that you sit, shaking, finally pressing a cloth to your neck. Blood stains the fabric, first in just a few dots, then spreading out. There’s not enough to make you fear for your life, but there is enough to make you cry harder. Washing the wound will sting… so you don’t do that. Soon you will have to return to your work, and the thought puts pressure on your skull, summoning an all-too-familiar migraine.

When you close your eyes, you don’t mean to fall asleep, but that is exactly what you do. And when you dream, you do not wish for nightmares. You never do- and fate never denies you their company.

[fanmoose12]

catch me if you can

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman

Genres: Mystery / Romance

Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

Chapter 9/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

“We aren’t looking for Krista Lenz. We’re searching for Historia.”

Despite the evidence quite literally staring right back at her, Hange could scarcely believe what she herself had just said. Krista Lenz, the missing girl she was searching for, wasn’t actually Krista Lenz? Apparently, the girl’s name was Historia, at least, according to the birth certificate. But it didn’t make any sense, and, what’s worse, it raised so many additional questions…

The main question, of course, was the reason for why the girl was living under a false name, and how did Kenny Ackerman acquire this piece of information? And for what purpose?

Luckily, she had the person, who, hopefully, could shed some light on this new mystery. Hange shoved the photo and the document in Ackerman’s hands, staring at him expectantly. “Do you know something about this?”

He didn’t answer right away, and that gave Hange a semblance of hope. Perhaps, it was just a misunderstanding? Perhaps, the photo and the birth certificate were put into one envelope by a trick of fate? And Krista Lenz was truly Krista Lenz? Hange certainly hoped so. It would save her so much trouble.

Ackerman’s eyes were narrowed as he studied the document. Hange watched him with bated breath.

Her world crumbled when he gave a little nod.

“I think I know where Kenny got it. Remember the robbery of that politician’s manor? Kenny stole this thing from the guy’s safe.”

Hange remembered that robbery, remembered that murdered man. But how could it possibly be connected to her recent case?

“How did you know where to find it? And why did your uncle need it in the first place? It makes no sense…”

“On the contrary,” Ackerman shook his head. “Now everything makes perfect sense. I couldn’t understand why Reiss asked us to rob that guy’s house, but now I’m starting to think that your missing girl…”

“Wait! Wait!” Hange silenced him with her palm on his mouth. She whirled around, starting to pace around the room. What he was saying just now? He didn’t mean it, right? At least, not in the way Hange comprehended it. It couldn’t be, she refused to believe it. But what if Ackerman was telling the truth? What if— Hange turned back to him, her eyes pleading for him to say it was an ill-timed joke. “What was that about Reiss? Did you mean Rod Reiss, the member of the parliament? That Reiss?”

“Naturally.”

Hange slowly sank into an armchair. Her head was spinning, her thoughts were going in circles. Rod Reiss, the model politician, the law abiding citizen was working directly with Ackermans. It seemed completely outlandish.

“Are you serious?” she asked quietly, to keep herself from shrieking. “Are you actually fucking serious?”

Ackerman shrugged, looking so nonchalant, a stark contrast to her frantic appearance. “Why would I lie about this?”

Why indeed… Logically, Hange knew there was no reason for him to lie about Reiss’ involvement, but, damn it, she just couldn’t wrap her head about this. Even the notion seemed utterly ridiculous, like it was taken from a dumb conspiracy theory.

“Just before I dropped your case…” Hange began, desperately trying to find a way to contradict Ackerman’s claim. “He wanted to help me solve it. He offered me money and people, anything to get you behind bars.”

And that meant that he wasn’t working with them, right? It meant that Reiss was actually a good guy, who wanted to fight the bad ones.

He’s a politician, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Erwin reminded her. You can’t get so high just from being good.

Despite her endless stubbornness, Hange couldn’t disagree with that. Those who held a lot of power didn’t acquire it from being honest and honorable.

Reiss claimed he wanted to catch Ackermans, but that desire could just be his attempt to cover up his traces.

Fuck.

Ackerman was right. Everything was starting to make sense.

“I guess Reiss wanted to get rid of us,” Ackerman confirmed her guess. Hange’s heart sank. “Maybe, that’s why Kenny didn’t return him this,” he showed her the birth certificate.

Hange felt another wave of nausea. If she correctly understood what Ackerman was implying…

“Are you saying that the missing girl…” she swallowed, reluctant to end that sentence. It would become more real then.

“Yes,” Ackerman nodded, his voice a little softer. Was it his attempt at giving her a bit of comfort? Did he simply pity her? “I think that your Krista Lenz is actually Historia. And that her father is Rod Reiss.”

Even before he spoke, Hange knew that Ackerman had reached that conclusion. Reluctantly, she was almost ready to agree with him. But… her inner world was practically in shambles. Rod Reiss, the good-willed, kind looking man with a gentle smile, was working with the criminals. He had a secret daughter.

She really couldn’t trust anyone, huh? She should have learnt this simple truth by now. Levi Ackerman did a great job of teaching that lesson to her, after all.

Hange dropped head into her hands, letting out a deep, bone-weary sigh. Couldn’t she have at least one simple, easy case? One that wouldn’t make her revalue all of her relationships and lose her faith in the humanity?

A case like that would have been real nice.

But instead she had a case that grew more complicated with each clue and a girl who was waiting to be rescued.

If nothing else, Hange couldn’t let Krista Lenz down. Or Historia, whichever name was the correct one.

“Hey listen…” a tentative touch to her shoulder and a gentle voice in her ear made Hange jump. She looked up and saw Ackerman, standing right next to her. He was… gods, he looked worried. Hange didn’t know if she should be amused or slighted. Just how pathetic she seemed just now, if Ackerman decided to comfort her? “I know it’s a lot to take in…”

Hange brushed his hand aside, abruptly jumping to her feet. Ackerman could take his pity and fuck himself with it. It was a lot to take in, but she was fine. She had taken it all in, she dealt with that mind-blowing revelation. Well, she didn’t really deal with it, but she took a pause in dealing with it. She’d finish the processing after this fucking day was over and she’d get drunk at some shitty bar. But now, she had work that needed her attention. And Hange was ready to begin.

“Give me that,” she snatched the birth certificate out of Ackerman’s hand, studying it intently. The graph with the father’s name wasn’t filled, but the mother’s name was there. Alma. There was no last name, but still, it was a start. Certainly not very promising, but Hange did more with less.

Alas, there was nothing interesting about the document except the name of the child’s mother. The child was born here, in their city, twenty two years ago. Krista Lenz was exactly twenty-two years old. A small detail that simply couldn’t be overlooked.

Next, Hange turned her attention to the photo. The picture showed adult Krista, and it was shot from distance, only her profile visible. Could it mean that someone was spying on her? If Krista was Historia, and a daughter of Rod Reiss, it made sense that he was keeping tabs on her. However…

Hange’s eyes widened, the realization swiftly settling.

The photo and the document, it didn’t come from Reiss. Reiss asked Ackermans to steal it for him, meaning…

“Do you think Reiss has enemies?” she asked Ackerman. “Do you think that someone wanted to expose him?”

“Perhaps,” Ackerman tentatively replied. His eyebrows furrowed, as he continued, rubbing his chin. “The guy that we killed… he wasn’t supposed to be at home that night. Reiss said he wasn’t going to be at home.”

“But he was.” Hange uttered, confused.

“He was,” Ackerman agreed. “And I think Reiss knew about it.”

“You think he tried to set you up?”

“Possibly. Or it was a pure coincidence and the guy just decided to return from the party earlier. Or…” he spread his arms, his point more than clear.

Closing eyes, Hange rubbed her temples. Possibly, Ackerman said. Well, she was definitely getting into something she shouldn’t. Secret children, Ackermans, nasty politicians… It was well above her paygrade.

But she couldn’t just give up. And, fortunately, she knew a place where they could find more information. If the person spying on Krista wasn’t Reiss, then it was someone who was actively trying to expose him. Someone who had died before he could reach his goal.

Hange still remembered that brief conversation she had with the politician’s widow, remembered her mentioning something about a girl that worked for her late husband. Perhaps, that girl was the one who took that photo of Krista. And if she found Krista once, perhaps, she’d help them to find her again.

The plan of action was prepared, and that was enough to calm Hange’s mind. At least, for a short while.

“We’re going to visit the politician’s house,” she announced to Ackerman. “His widow might know something.”

“You want to go to the house of the guy we robbed and killed? Awesome.”

Hange hummed, letting her eyes linger on Ackerman’s bored face. There was a question that’s been bugging her for a long time now, ever since she learnt about his true identity. They weren’t in a hurry yet, so she decided to take another moment to satisfy her curiosity. “That guy… were you the one who killed him?”

Ackerman stared back at her, his eyes surprisingly honest. “Would it make you feel better if I tell you that my uncle did it?”

Would it make her feel better to know that he was just a thief, and not a murderer? Maybe. Or, maybe not. Hange wasn’t sure what feeling this knowledge would provoke. These days, she wasn’t sure what to feel at all. The only feeling she was certain of was the exhaustion.

“Back at the museum…” perhaps, bringing this up was unreasonable. Perhaps, completely unnecessary. But she had been thinking about it, a lot. She had already formulated an explanation. Now she wanted to hear Ackerman’s reasoning, and see if the two versions were compatible in any way. “I know you weren’t the one who shot me, your uncle is much taller. When he raised that gun, he was aiming at my head, I could see it clearly,” she laughed, the sound too broken to be genuine. “I thought I was already done for, so why…”

“Why what, four-eyes?” Ackerman snapped. “Why did I stop him? Do you actually not know?”

Ackerman was staring right at her, his impassive mask slipping to reveal his anger and… frustration? Hange couldn’t clearly interpret the look in his eyes, not when she was so confused herself. She swallowed heavily, her heart pounding as she struggled to look away. Ackerman’s gaze… was burning.

“I wouldn’t have let Kenny kill you. I couldn’t bear the thought,” he said, his voice raw. He took a step towards her, and, subconsciously, Hange took a step away from him, her back now pressed against the wall. Despite their height difference, Levi seemed to loom over her, his eyes brimming with feeling. The feeling of… what? Hange didn’t know if she wished to know the answer. “Do you actually not understand why I did it?”

Ackerman was wrong. She did understand. She had him figured out, all thanks to dark, long and sleepless nights.

“You still needed me, right? That was your reason? I was still useful to you, that’s why—”

“Useful?”

Hange flinched at his tone. There was no protest there, no anger. His voice was thick with pain. Her eyes widened at the realization.

“What did I use you for, Hange?” he grabbed the lapels of her coat, roughly pulling her close to him. His breath was hot on her skin, and his fists were clenched so tightly she could almost hear the sound of the coat’s fabric ripping. “What did I ever use you for? Did I steal something from you? Did I get some piece of information out of you? You gave me the keys to your damn office, I held your shitty notebook in my hands, and did I use it?”

In the face of his outrage, Hange felt numb. She didn’t try to push him away, felt too weak to escape from him. She could only stare helplessly at him, feeling small and insignificant. Feeling like she had missed something vital, a central piece of the puzzle.

“I don’t know,” she murmured. “I didn’t check, perhaps you did take something—”

He breathed a curse into her face, his eyes a liquid fire. Just as suddenly as he had grabbed her, Levi let her go.

His back was now facing her, as he stared out of the window, his breathing loud and irregular.

“You can think whatever you want about me,” he said, deadly quiet. “You can think that I am a liar, a thief and a scumbag. But I didn’t use you Hange. It was never my intention. And if you really don’t know why I didn’t let you die, then you’re a shitty fucking detective. No wonder you couldn’t catch us.”

He stormed out of the room a second after, leaving Hange to stare incredulously after him.

His words, his touch, his eyes, it weighted down on her. They made it hard to breathe.

The places where Levi had touched her were burning, his words were still ringing in her ears and she couldn’t quite shake off the image of his eyes, his stare furious, but simultaneously hurt.

She was hoping to gain some clearance, hoping to deal with one of the many mysteries of her life. But now she was even more confused.

She took one deep breath after another, clutching at her chest. What the heck had just happened? What was Levi so worked about, what was he— it was another lie of his, another act, it had to be, Hange at last decided. What else it could be? Levi, no, Ackerman, he couldn’t really speak the truth just now? Because if that was the truth, then—

The loud bang of the closing door snapped Hange out of her reverie.

She was being naïve and foolish, again.

She was letting him get into her head, she was allowing him to fool her once more. But she wouldn’t let him do it, not after everything she had gone through.

She also couldn’t let him distract her from the case. Be her name Krista or Historia, but that girl needed to be saved. Hange had to save her.

And she wouldn’t be able to find her if she continued to stare numbly at the wall.

Hange shook her head, pushed the hair back from her face and fixed the lapels of her coat. She had no time for confusing feelings, she had to get back to work.

She was fully intent on doing that, until she remembered what had helped her get her focus back. The front door was thrown closed…

Hange shrieked, her hands flying to her head. Ackerman! He had escaped!

With a lightning speed, she rushed out of the room and out of the apartment. She took two stairs at the time, hurrying to get to the bottom of the stairwell. Her mind worked just as fast as her legs, as Hange tried to predict what direction Ackerman would take. Where would he go? Would she be able to find him? Should she even find him, after everything that just transpired?

By the time, she reached the exit of the apartment complex and tumbled out on a street, Hange was completely out of breath. She took a fleeting second, doubling over in an attempt to stop her lungs from burning out. Shit, she was getting too old for this kind of thing.

With her breathes still coming out way too rapidly, Hange slowly straightened out. Left or right? Which direction Ackerman would take? Maybe, if she was lucky, she’d catch him before he ran away.

But as Hange turned her gaze to her left, she was surprised to see that the escaped criminal… didn’t actually escape. He was standing right next to her, lazily smoking a cigarette.

“I thought you had a girl to save, detective?” he asked in a bored, indifferent voice.

Hange hated how good he was at concealing what was going on inside him. She was still shaking.

She also hated how attractive the damn bastard was, especially while smoking.

But Ackerman was right. There was a girl, and she needed to be saved.

Hange shrugged, adopting a more confident stance. She couldn’t let him know she was worried that he left. Or how handsome she thought he was. She had embarrassed herself plenty already.

So with a determined face, Hange lifted an arm, hailing a taxi.

There was no time for feelings. Not when there was work needed to be done.

***

The time they’ve spent in taxi was spent in silence.

Hange was looking out of the window, stubbornly refusing to even look in his direction. Levi himself was staring at his knees, lost to his own thoughts.

There was a lot he had to think about, the main focus, of course, was on Kenny and his involvement with Reiss and his new-found daughter.

Levi had kept a faint hope that when they got to their apartment, Kenny would be there, laying on a coach with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of beer in another. Until the very end, he hoped that this whole ordeal with kidnapping and letters from Kenny the Reaper was a result of a weird coincidence.

Unfortunately, his hope was crushed without mercy.

Kenny wasn’t at home, and what’s more, the state of their apartment frightened Levi. Kenny wasn’t as obsessed with cleanliness as him, but he had never created such messes either. At least, it had never happened during all these years they’ve lived together. Was the mess caused by the fact that Levi had left? Or was Kenny truly going crazy?

If he decided to kidnap a girl, Reiss’ daughter, and then run off to god knows where, then he was definitely not quite right in his head.

But that wasn’t the only thing occupying Levi’s mind. Ashamed as he was to admit it, Kenny wasn’t in his thoughts nearly as often as was Hange.

Their fight back at his apartment was, for the lack of better word, a complete disaster. He made a mistake, he shouldn’t have lost his cool, he shouldn’t have admitted the things Hange didn’t have to know.

For fuck’s sake, he practically admitted that he was smitten with her. Worse yet, he almost admitted just how far he was willing to go not to hurt her. It was dangerous and it was foolish. Luckily, Hange wasn’t too interested in listening to what he had to say.

And still, the things that she had said hurt him. More than Levi was ready to admit.

She really lost all trust in him, didn’t she? Perhaps, this outcome was not at all surprising, but… painful nevertheless.

Levi stole a glance at Hange - she wasn’t looking back at him. So he allowed himself to admire her profile. Her bright, brown eyes, that hawkish nose, those enticing lips… He sighed, tearing his gaze away.

Coming here was certainly a mistake, he could have hid a little better, could have tried to run from Hange for the second time. He could have done so much more, could have at least attempted to not get caught in all of this.

Too late for any regrets now, he thought bitterly. Besides, it wasn’t like he had come here for Hange, right? He had to get Kenny out of whatever shit he had involved himself into this time.

Kenny, he was there for Kenny. For him and him only.

He had to repeat this to himself a couple of times more, because with Hange sitting so close to him, with their thighs slightly touching in the backseat of the taxi, it was hard to remember his main and initial goal. With Hange so close, it was getting hard to focus at all.

He had to think of something else.

Levi looked out of the window, watched the streets they passed by. They were getting close. Close to the house of the man he murdered.

Levi gulped. Perhaps, the idea to focus on something else wasn’t as sound as it seemed at first.

Another train of thought then. He turned to look at Hange again.

He couldn’t think about her, but there was the matter of their case. He could try and pay attention to it.

“You mentioned that the girl is missing for almost a week. Why are you the only one who’s working on finding her then? Aren’t these types of cases supposed to be…” he waved his hand around, gesturing uncertainly. “Especially time-sensitive?”

Hange sighed, showing just how stressed she truly was. “They usually are time-sensitive. But… thing is… no one actually cares if I solve this case or not.”

“Do you mean—”

“Yes. Krista, or, well,” she winced, “Historia, doesn’t have a family. She doesn’t seem to have any friends either. We received the tip about her disappearance from a fucking anonymous call. No one even noticed that she is gone. I talked with the students at her college, and some seemed sympathetic, some even mildly worried about her well-being, but no one actually cared about her. No one truly knew her too, at least, no one knew her well enough. As I asked about Krista, I got the same answer. She was kind, always ready to help. She was attentive and diligent during classes. And that world ‘was’,” Hange shook her head, her palms clenching into fists. “It seemed like everyone had already accepted that she was gone for good.”

Hange sounded so sad, so frustrated, Levi desperately wished to give her what little comfort that he could. He understood now, why she was so determined to find that missing girl and bring her home.

It was good to know that people like Hange existed. People, who would do their best to try and help someone else.

Levi could be that girl, he realized. If he went missing and Kenny wasn’t there to find him, no one would care to help him. If something like that ever happened to him, he could only hope to come across a person, who would be as selfless and kind as Hange.

If there were more people like her, perhaps, his life wouldn’t be so miserable. Perhaps, he’d be a different person.

But pondering on it was pointless now. He was who was he was. For the better or worse, Hange was who she was too.

“So no one is pushing you to hurry?” Levi glanced at her beneath his fridge. “Then what was that shit about? When you ran out of my apartment, red in face and panting like a dog?”

“Oi,” Hange slapped his knee. “Fuck you.”

“Fuck me?” Levi raised his eyebrow, remembering their first conversation. “Aren’t we moving a little too fast?”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, turning her face away. Just before she did, Levi saw the red on her cheeks.

Hange blushed. Hange, the hot-shot detective and a huge pain in the ass, had actually blushed after his stupid joke.

Well… now Levi had something to be proud of.

“I just thought—” she huffed, moving hair from her face. “It doesn’t matter what I thought, but… thanks for not running away. I… appreciate it. Looking for you would be a large inconvenience,” she gave him a side-glance, her lips twitching. “Thanks for not creating even more problems for me, I guess.”

And who said that Hange wasn’t a paragon of politeness? Levi almost felt good about himself. He almost thought that things between them were… not as disastrous as they actually were.

“We are almost there,” Hange announced, nervously tapping fingers against her thigh.

The bubble busted. There was no time to fool around. There was no time for playful banter and witty back and forth. There was no time to… appreciate that bright sparkle in Hange’s eyes.

Levi nodded, acknowledging her words, but remained speechless. What was there to say? He was going to the house that belonged to a man his uncle had killed right in front of his own eyes. And he was going there willingly. God, his life was just a string of one fucked up shitty event after another.

Hopefully, this visit would help him learn more about Kenny’s new job and, maybe, even find Kenny himself.

Hope… that’s all he had these days.

The taxi took a turn and drove up to the tall, black gates. Levi remembered climbing over it during that awful night two months ago.

This time, he wasn’t climbing over it.

Hange got out of the taxi, just as they approached the front gates. She spoke through the intercom, requesting entrance. After a long moment, the gates slowly opened and the taxi drove inside, bringing them to the large doors.

Front doors. Last time Levi was getting inside through the back door. Well, another improvement. Another sign that this visit, hopefully, wouldn’t end so horribly.

Hange paid the taxi driver and told him not to wait for them. Together they exited the car.

As they walked to the door, she leaned in to him and whispered, “It’d be best if you don’t tell the grieving widow that your uncle killer her husband.”

“I’m not an idiot, four-eyes.”

Hange chuckled and lifted her arms, palms-up. “I’m just saying. I don’t think she’s eager to meet us as it is.”

When the front door had finally opened, they were met by a butler. A fucking butler, dressed in a suit and tie and with glasses on his face. Levi stared at him, incredulously.

Killing people in general went against Levi’s principles, and killing the owner of this house in particular was obviously wrong, but stealing from him? Perhaps, he and Kenny should have also taken a few paintings.

“Good day,” Hange smiled – to Levi the expression seemed a little forced. “I’m detective Zoe and I wanted to—”

“I know,” the butler bowed his head, gesturing for them to follow him. “The Lady asked me to bring you to her office.”

The Lady? It took all of Levi’s willpower not to scoff. Rich people were ridiculous. That’s why he preferred to steal from them. Served those fuckers right.

The butler led them through a big, brightly lit hall, up the majestic stairwell, through a row of ugly paintings, and finally they stood before a brown oak door.

“The Lady is inside,” the butler said, taking a step back. “I’ll bring tea in just a few minutes. Now if you’ll excuse me…”

Hange waved her hand, obviously not interested in his false politeness. She threw the door open, walking inside without waiting for the invitation. So that was detective Hange at work? Levi watched her, hiding his amused expression.

“Sorry that we didn’t give you a heads-up,” she spoke to the woman that was sitting behind a long, mahogany desk. Suddenly Levi realized it was the same room, where Kenny had killed a man. Suddenly he realized that he was staring at the face of a woman, who had lost a husband because of him and Kenny. Avoiding the widow’s gaze, he did his best to hide behind Hange. “But there’s something we wanted to discuss.”

“Did you find my husband’s killer?”

No, but I'm his nephew and I was there when your husband had died, Levi almost blurted out. But Hange had warned him. So he wisely kept his mouth shut.

“No,” Hange walked further inside, plopping down on a chair. Much more humbly, Levi did the same. “But we think your husband is related to our other case. So we were wondering if we can ask you a few questions?”

“Who are we?” the widow arched her perfectly thin eyebrow. “Last time we spoke, I didn’t remember you having an assistant.”

Hange’s smile became strained. “That’s, um, Levi,” she gestured at him. “My, well, he’s sort of my partner.”

“A partner, huh?”

“He helps me with the case,” Hange answered vaguely. “Now about our questions…”

The widow arrogantly waved her hand, allowing Hange to continue. “Just be quick about this. After my husband’s death, I have a lot of work on my hands.”

And all of it because of him and Kenny. Great. Levi sat lower in his seat.

“I remember you mentioning…” Hange took out her notebook, Levi cringed at the sight of it. As he watched her shift through it, he briefly wondered if that note he had left for her was still there. Did she tear it out, rip into pieces and then burn the rest? Or did she… leave it there, so she could stare at it whenever she felt especially angry? Levi wasn’t sure which option was more preferable and which one would make him feel more sad. Meanwhile, Hange continued, “A girl who visited your husband. Do you remember what she looked like? Can you describe her to us?”

The widow scrunched her nose, clearly displeased. She reached to the desk’s drawer, taking out a pack of cigarettes. She opened it, putting a cigarette in between her lips. “If you don’t mind,” she mumbled, flicking up a lighter. The widow took one long drag, letting the smoke curl up towards the ceiling. She lazily traced its movement, then, when the smoke had dissipated into nothing, she spoke, “I saw her only once, she was leaving our house late in the evening. It was dark and I didn’t get a good look on her face, but I remember that she was tall,” she squinted, looking at Hange. “Slightly taller than you. Had brown hair, gathered in a low ponytail. Her clothes were baggy, and, overall, she looked just like…”

“Like what?” Levi snappily required. “Like a criminal?”

“Well, yes,” the widow agreed, throwing the ash off her cigarette. “I think she was doing some shady work for my husband.”

“Do you by any chance have a way to contact her?” Hange asked. “A phone number or a home address…”

“And why do you need it?” the widow looked at them skeptically.

“Classified information,” Hange smoothly replied. “But it’s for the greater good, believe me.”

The widow huffed, obviously not buying it. But she put the cigarette down and reached for the drawer again.

“I don’t know if that will be of any help, but,” she rummaged through the drawer, taking out a yellow envelope. “I found this when I was looking through my husband’s things. He must have destroyed the letter that was inside it, but there is the sender’s address on the back, so…”

“Thank you for your time,” Hange spoke sincerely, snatching the envelope from the widow’s hands. “You really helped us. A lot. You might have even saved a young girl’s life.”

“Whatever,” the widow rolled her eyes. “Just get out of here already. I have the work I need to do.”

“Thank you,” Hange repeated, rising to her feet. “Have a nice day.”

“And…” the widow hesitated. “Good luck with your case. I hope you do better this time.”

The smile on Hange’s face faltered, but didn’t disappear. “I’ll do my best,” she promised, before walking out of the room.

Throwing a quick last glance at the widow, Levi dutifully followed.

***

The address on the envelope led them to the worst part of their city. To the streets that were filled with garbage, where the walls had paint falling off and most windows stood completely smashed.

Hange in her fancy light brown coat looked starkly out of place. Perhaps, Ackerman was right about her having too much privilege. Right now, the contrast between her and the more unfortunate ones were sharp as ever. Although, Ackerman’s attire wasn’t that humble either.

Hange stepped a little closer to him, in a futile attempt to hide from the unfriendly gazes that followed after her ever since they stepped into this part of the city.

“I’m surprised you’ve agreed to come here,” she spoke to him in a quiet voice, “Since I know how much of a clean freak you are.”

The look Ackerman gave her could probably freeze someone to death. “I wasn’t always living in a nice and neat apartment, four-eyes. People like me usually come from the places like that.”

Hange’s eyes widened at the realization. She glanced at the man beside her, tilted her head to study him more intently. It was hard to imagine sharp-dressed and clean-shaved Ackerman, or younger Levi living in a place like that, walking through the dirty streets with broken windows. He came a long way, it seemed. Hange was amazed at his perseverance.

“I think this is the right house,” she pointed at the grey four-story building. Hange took out the envelope, checked the address again. “Yes, this is it.”

Wordlessly, Ackerman started walking in that direction. Hange caught him just before he pushed the front door open.

“Shouldn’t we, like, knock?” she asked, doing a poor job at hiding her nervousness.

Ackerman just rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an idiot,” he scolded, adding a quiet ‘tch’. “There are several apartments here. You’re not trespassing on someone’s private property yet.”

“Oh, alright,” Hange mumbled, letting him open the door and following him inside.

The inside of the building… was dirty. There were bags of trash lying around, shards of broken glass and half-shattered empty bottles. The house wasn’t silent too, from somewhere deep inside the building a child’s wailing was heard. It was accompanied by the sounds of a fighting. Or, maybe, extremely passionate love-making. Hange desperately hoped it was the latter.

“We need to go to the basement,” she said to Ackerman, trying her best to sound nonchalant and confident.

“Basement?” he repeated incredulously. “Is the address actually pointing to a basement? Are we looking for a vampire?”

“I don’t know who we’re looking for. But here,” she thrusted the envelope to him. “You can check it for yourself.”

He pushed her hand away. “I’ll trust you on that one.”

They made their way down the stairs in silence. Not wanting to see something that wasn’t meant for the police officer’s eyes, Hange kept her gaze focused on Ackerman’s face. Unsurprisingly, his expression was indifferent. But his breaths were coming out more raged than usual and he was walking with his head bowed low.

Compared to his regular level of emotionlessness, Ackerman seemed almost overly distressed.

Was this place affecting him so much? He had hinted at his not so happy childhood before. Were bad memories the reason for his emotional state right now?

Hange placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Ackerman, listen…”

Roughly, he slapped her hand away. “I’m fine, four-eyes. Focus on the task at hand.”

She stared at him, affronted. Here she was trying to— what was she trying to do? To comfort him? Because she was worried about him? Hange conceded. Perhaps, Ackerman had every right to scold her. She was losing her focus. She couldn’t allow herself that.

As they climbed to the end of the stairs, Hange looked around, searching for an apartment 009. It stood just at the end of the hallway, and without hesitation she marched right there.

She knocked, quite forcefully. And received no answer. She huffed, ignoring Ackerman’s amused gaze, and knocked again. Again, there was no answer.

Hange put her ear closer to the door, listening to any signs of life inside. There was… nothing.

“I think no one is at home,” she announced mournfully to Ackerman. “Perhaps, we can come back later…”

“Or we can stop wasting precious time,” he rolled his eyes. “Move your ass, four-eyes, I’ll get us inside.”

Ackerman went down on his knees before the door, searching for something in the pocket of his jacket.

It took Hange a long moment to realize what he was about to do. As soon as that realization kicked in, however, she rushed to pull Ackerman away from that door.

“What are you doing?” she cried out. “Ackerman, it’s illegal!”

He gave her a pointed look. “I’m a criminal, remember?”

“I’m not! I can’t let you break inside someone’s house, I’m a police officer!”

“And can you let a young girl suffer? My uncle is an impatient man, if she pissed him off…”

“Don’t joke about it!” Hange scolded. Fuck, she didn’t know what to do. On one hand, she couldn’t let Ackerman just break into someone’s house. On the other, she couldn’t really waste any more time.

“You can look the other way, four-eyes,” Ackerman proposed, his voice an octave softer. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Damn it, Hange couldn’t believe what she was about to do. Ackerman and his damn influence, if Erwin ever finds out…

She sighed, surrendering, and turned away from that door. “Do your thing already,” she urged. “I’ll be… on a look-out. Or whatever you people say.”

“You people?” he repeated teasingly. “What kind of people?”

Hange could practically hear the laughter in his voice. Well, at least, someone was enjoying himself.

“Criminals,” she gritted.

“Just don’t forget that it’s a nasty criminal,” he said, “That helps you solve this case.”

Gods, what a fucker. But he was right. He was helping her. For his own reasons, sure, but even so, Hange was working with him for merely a day, and already she accomplished so much. Perhaps, after all of that mess was over, she could even thank him.

If he wouldn’t give her another reason to hate him.

Ackerman dealt with the door just in mere seconds. Hange didn’t know that it was possible to break the locks so swiftly. He surely was talented.

“Wow, you really are good at it,” she marveled under her breath.

“Figures why you couldn’t catch us, eh?”

So he was not only a fucker, but a cocky one as well. Hange shouldn’t have found that trait of his attractive. He lied to her, for god’s sake. But she had to admit – he looked damn good while doing it.

Ackerman opened the door and let Hange go in first. She did, a bit precautiously.

The first thing she noticed was, of course, the absence of the light. Outside the afternoon sun was shining brightly, painting everything in warm orange colors, but here, in the basement, it was dark as ever. Distinctively, Hange could hear the sound of the pipes leaking, the steady drop, drop, drop that set her just a little further up on edge.

She blindly searched for the switch on the wall. As soon as she had found it, a lone lightbulb filled the room with faint light.

Apart from that, the interior of the apartment wasn’t so different from the interior of the whole building. It was in similar bad shape, with torn wallpapers and leaking ceilings. But, surprisingly, the apartment also seemed strangely empty, like whoever was living there didn’t actually consider it their home.

As Hange looked around, she found nothing personal there, no photographs or postcards or any other kind of trinkets people usually treasured.

There were some clothes thrown here and there, but that was about it. The rest of the apartment was disappointingly empty.

“I don’t think we’ll be able to find something here,” Ackerman said, as he walked inside beside her.

Truthfully, Hange was of the same opinion. But they came here. They broke inside. She wouldn’t leave until she finds at least something remotely useful.

“Let’s look around,” she said, deciding to start with the kitchen.

Unfortunately, there was nothing useful in the kitchen. The only thing Hange found was the insane amount of instant noodles and cheap beer.

No clues were found inside the living room as well. She looked under the dusty old couch and the rug, behind the shattered TV-screen and the wardrobe. But she found nothing.

Met with the absence of the clues and Ackerman’s increasing impatience, Hange was starting to get desperate.

“We’ll find something,” she murmured, to assure both Ackerman and herself.

He simply clicked his tongue. “I searched the bedroom already. I didn’t find anything that might be of some interest.”

“I’ll go and have another look,” Hange stubbornly pushed past him. “Perhaps, you missed something.”

“Or, perhaps,” he countered, his voice laced with venom. “This lead is a dead-end. And we’re just wasting our time.”

“Need I to remind you that this is the only lead we have? Because you’re unable to find your own uncle.”

Hange knew she had said the wrong thing as soon as the words had left her mouth. She didn’t mean it, not really. But she was frustrated. She was tired and lost, and Ackerman’s proximity and their shared history were making her even more stressed than she already was.

But all of it didn’t mean that Ackerman deserved her bitterness. Not in this moment, at least. Hange knew she was in the wrong, she wanted to take her words back, but then— then Ackerman decided to retaliate.

“And need I to remind you that the only reason I’m here is because you can’t solve this shitty case all by yourself. So stop accusing me of being useless when I’m helping you out of the kindness of my heart.”

“Out of the kindness of your heart?” Hange repeated, completely scandalized. She couldn’t believe that she was meaning to apologize to that shithead just moments ago. And he had the audacity— Gods, he infuriated her to no end. “You’re a fucking asshole, Ackerman. When you were lying to me like a total scumbag, were you doing it out of the kindness of your fucking heart as well?”

Ackerman was getting riled up to, his face became contorted with faint lines of anger. His hands clenched into fists, he took a step forward, breathing heavily. “Are you still going on about that thing, really? Yes, I lied to you, but I’m sure I’m not the only person in this life who did it. So can you just let it go already?”

“Let it go?” Hange felt like she was boiling, there was so much fury inside of her that it seemed like it was pouring out of her. She wanted to smash or break something, preferably Ackerman’s stupidly handsome face. “Are you seriously asking if I can let it go? Do you really not understand how much—” she faltered, choking on the hurricane of her emotions. “I trusted you, Levi, I believed you were a good man. For god’s sake, I was starting to develop f—”

Hange abruptly stopped herself. She was angry, true, she was overwhelmed as well. But she was not so lost as to reveal to him just what he truly made her feel. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how good his lies were and how much they’ve hurt her.

After taking a deep breath, she risked a glance at Ackerman. He was staring right at her, wide-eyed and shocked and… was that sadness in his eyes?

Before Hange could decipher his expression, it changed again, became more cautious.

She blinked, and Ackerman was already moving, rapidly, in her direction. All out of sudden, he was standing right beside her, close enough for Hange to hear just how loudly his heart was beating.

Confused, she wanted to push him away, she meant to do it, but before she could react, Ackerman had her encircled in his arms. He pulled her to the side, and just as Hange was trying to get away, they swayed and tumbled. In a mess of limbs, both of them fell onto the ground.

No more than a second later, Hange heard a loud, sudden noise.

A noise she knew so well. A gunshot.

Confused and with her ears ringing, Hange tried to make sense of her surroundings. There was a gunshot, and she fell but she wasn’t on a ground. Ackerman was on the ground, and she was lying right on top of him. Hange stared at him, wide-eyed and shaken.

Their sudden close proximity made her thoughts move even slower.

Still in Ackerman’s embrace, she turned her head in the direction, where that gunshot had come from. A girl stood there, her gun raised and aimed at them.

How long had she been standing there? How in the world Hange hadn’t seen her enter?

The reason for her lack of caution was still beside her, holding her tightly to his chest.

It felt good to be so close to him, Hange felt so warm and safe—

“Get the fuck off me,” feeling her face burn, she pushed Ackerman away, and jumped up to her feet.

“That’s the thanks I get for saving your life,” he grumbled, standing up as well and dusting off his jacket. “And I did it for the second time, four-eyes.”

“Shut up,” Hange gritted, returning her attention to the girl who almost shot them both. She was tall and brown-haired. Could it be their mysterious lead?

“I’m terribly sorry to interrupt… whatever that was,” for a second the girl’s lips curled in a wicked smirk, but then she gripped the gun in her hands tighter, her finger going to the trigger. “But who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?”

Still slightly shaking from the whole ordeal, Hange’s fingers trembled as she took out her police badge, showing it to the girl. “I’m detective Hange Zoe, and I came to ask you some questions.”

The hand that held the gun didn’t lower. “Regarding?” the girl asked.

“Regarding Krista Lenz’s disappearance.”

The girl relaxed. The gun was tucked safely inside her leather jacket. “So the police have finally taken notice of that case? Took you long enough.”

“I’m hoping to rectify that mistake. And I hope I’ll be able to bring Krista home. What is your name?” Hange smiled and tentatively offered her hand for the girl to shake.

“Ymir,” just as cautiously, she shook Hange’s hand. “And Krista isn’t her real name, you know?”

“She is Historia, right?” the smile on Hange’s face widened, as she saw Ymir’s genuine surprise. “We found that bit of information already.”

“Seems like you’re a real deal then,” Ymir concluded with a nod. “I’ll share what I know with you. But,” she raised a finger. “I have a condition – you’ll let me join the investigation.”

Their crew was rapidly growing, and two-thirds were presented by criminals, Hange thought grimly. Well, she was ready to do anything to bring Historia home. It seemed like she would have to stick to her own promise.

Just when Hange was ready to accept Ymir and her proposition, Ackerman took a step forwards. His eyes were narrowed to slits as he glared at their new companion.

“And what guarantee we have that we can trust you?”

“You have no guarantee,” Ymir replied, staring down at him. “But as long as our goals align and as long as you promise not to hurt Historia, I promise not to betray you.”

Ah, so their crew was rapidly growing and they couldn’t really trust each other. A recipe for a horrible disaster, but… Hange had no other options.

She clasped Ymir’s shoulder, giving her the most convincing of her smiles. “Welcome aboard then. What have you managed to find out?”

Ymir grinned and turned around, gesturing for them to follow. “Probably much more than you did. Come with me, I’ll show it to you.”

[blueascend]

Omura Aimi had been working at Toyokawa for roughly four days when she realized that their ace salesman, Kurosawa, had a boyfriend.

To be fair, she had been on the lookout for particular signs. Omura hadn’t been able to be out at her last job and she’d been hoping that Toyokawa would be different. She’d done her best to befriend everyone, keeping her ear out for office gossip, getting the lay of the land.

The first time she saw Kurosawa with his boyfriend, she breathed a sigh of relief. Surely, if the most popular man in the office could be himself so openly, Omura wouldn’t have any issues.

Unfortunately, it soon became apparent to her that most of their coworkers weren’t aware of Kurosawa’s relationship status. Everyone seemed to believe he was single and straight.

How? Didn’t they have functioning eyes?

It became a slight obsession for Omura over the next week, watching Kurosawa blatantly flirt with his boyfriend without anyone noticing. They even had matching red pens they kept waving at each other like the least secret signal in the world!

Then one day, someone caught her staring.

“You have a crush on Kurosawa?” her coworker, Nakamura asked. She laughed, not unkindly. “Better get in line, then.”

“Huh?” Omura furrowed her brow. Kurosawa was now fixing his boyfriend’s tie, standing way too close to him to do so. “No, not really.”

“No?” That was Chino, her voice bright and shocked. “But just look at him.”

Omura looked at her coworkers, a knot forming in her stomach as she saw their confused expressions. Uh oh. She wasn’t ready for that kind of suspicion, not when she had no idea how they would react.

“He’s not my type?” she tried. When they kept staring, she added, “I, uh, like someone else?”

Nakamura and Chino glanced at each other. “Don’t tell me,” Nakamura said. “It wasn’t Kurosawa you were looking at, was it?”

“You like Adachi!” Chino concluded.

Omura swallowed. Adachi. Right, that was the name Kurosawa’s boyfriend wasn’t it?

Well, if it would throw them off her trail. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

Both women giggled.

“He is cute, I guess,” Chino said. “And much more attainable than Kurosawa.”

Nakamura clapped her hands. “We need to get you two together! An office romance, this is so exciting!”

They were gone before Omura could object, whispering between themselves. Omura groaned. That could’ve gone better.

Someone tapped her shoulder and Omura turned around to see Fujisaki. They didn’t know each other that well, as Omura had spent most of her time with the other women in her department, but she’d heard nothing but kind things about her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t mean to be nosy but I overheard you. Just so you’re not disappointed, I think Adachi is actually seeing someone.”

‘I think he’s seeing someone’ she said, but the glimmer in her eye very clearly stated ‘I know he is’. Had Omura misread the situation, was she actually Adachi’s girlfriend?

But no, then she would have said as much. She didn’t seem jealous or territorial either, only genuinely concerned that Omura might be in for a disappointment. How much did she know?

Deciding to test the water, Omura carefully admitted, “To be honest, I didn’t even know his name. It’s just easier to say you like someone when people are asking. I’m new here, I wanted to fit in.”

“Ah.” Fujisaki’s gaze turned curious. She looked at Omura for a few moments and Omura wasn’t sure what conclusion she reached, but she finally offered a kind smile. “I see. In that case, I’m glad I don’t have to worry.”

Omura smiled back. Maybe it was too soon to tell but she felt like she had an ally in Fujisaki. 

*

“Omura, you are going to love this!”

Omura looked up from her laptop, seeing Nakamura and Chino approach her. “What?”

“We’ve just arranged for a group of us to go for drinks after work,” Nakamura said. “And we got Adachi to join! This will be the perfect chance for you two to spend time together.”

Omura’s stomach sank. “You - you did?” 

“Don’t be nervous,” Chino said, misreading her expression. She reached over the desk, putting her hand on Omura’s shoulder. “We’ll be right there with you if you need help.”

Nakamura nodded, shooting Omura a finger gun. “You got this.”

“I got this,” Omura echoed faintly.

There were eight of them at the bar later that night; Omura, Chino and Nakamura, as well as Fujisaki, Adachi, Kurosawa, and two male coworkers Omura hadn’t learned the names of yet. 

Chino and Nakamura, in full matchmaker-mode, managed to arrange the seating so that Omura and Adachi sat together at one end of the table, with Kurosawa and the rest of the women on the other. 

Omura glanced at poor Adachi, who looked supremely uncomfortable to be there. Even if he didn’t know about Omura’s supposed crush on him, he didn’t seem like the type to enjoy these kinds of gatherings. Omura was sure he’d much rather be at home, unwinding with his boyfriend after work.

Sorry Adachi, she told him in her mind. She frowned, considering. But at least now I can try to find out if I’m really right about your relationship with Kurosawa.

“Have I introduced myself to you yet?” she asked him.

Even that polite question was enough to startle him. “What? Ah, I don’t think so.”

She gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile and nodded. “I’m Omura Aimi, I started working at Toyokawa recently.”

“Adachi Kiyoshi.” Adachi nodded back. “Do you - do you enjoy your work?”

“Very much.” Omura looked over at her friends, who both gave her not-so-subtle thumbs up. “It’s a nice atmosphere, much more friendly than my old workplace.”

“I see.”

An awkward silence descended between them. Omura had a sip of beer as she wondered what to say next. She had no idea how to casually broach a topic like hey, are you gay like me? Adachi mirrored her, grimacing slightly as he drank.

This really wasn’t his scene, huh?

“What do you like to do outside of work?” Omura finally asked. 

“I, ah,” Adachi fumbled as he placed his glass down, spilling a few drops of beer. “The usual things, I suppose. I like reading, drawing, playing on the Switch.”

“Yeah? I like video games too, I just started a new save file in Stardew Valley.”

Adachi perked up. “I’ve also been playing that. I got Kurosawa to join me in multiplayer but it’s been going kind of slow. He can’t master the fishing mini game and it’s been frustrating him. He’s not used to being bad at stuff.”

Omura giggled. “I can picture that. I love the multiplayer too, especially since I can use it to get married to-” my girlfriend, she barely stopped herself from saying. She cleared her throat, smiling awkwardly. “Anyway, it’s a lot of fun.”

“Mhm,” Adachi agreed.

Another awkward silence commenced. Omura looked to her friends again but they were busy talking amongst themselves. Fujisaki met her eyes and smiled. Next to her sat Kurosawa and he was glancing between Omura and Adachi, frowning unhappily.

Maybe Omura was reading too much into it but he looked almost... jealous?

She turned back to Adachi, the desire to confirm her suspicions growing stronger than ever. Screw subtlety, what she needed was privacy.

“Adachi?” she asked. “Do you mind if we talk alone?”

Adachi stiffened, eyes widening in panic. “Eh?”

Omura stood up. “It will only take a moment.”

Reluctantly, Adachi got up as well and followed her. As they walked away, Omura could hear her friends talking, the alcohol likely making them a little too carefree and loud:

“-so bold! But I guess with a guy like Adachi, the woman has to take charge.”

“Do you think she’s going to confess already?”

Their voices faded away as they turned a corner. Omura lead Adachi to the balcony connected to the bar. It was thankfully empty and as Omura slid the doors shut behind them, they had perfect privacy.

“What did you want to talk about?” Adachi asked, clearly dreading the answer.

Omura bit her lip. How to word this? “You... we...” she rubbed her hands together, finally settling on, “I think we might have some things in common. Besides video games.”

“Like- like what?”

Omura opened her mouth to answer but before she could, the doors to the balcony were shoved open. Kurosawa stood in the doorway, looking as much a mess as Omura had ever seen - that is, still very put together, but hair slightly ruffled and cheeks pink from either the alcohol or the warmth inside the bar.

“Don’t!” he cried and this was it, as blatant a sign as Omura was ever going to get.

“Relax, Kurosawa,” she said. “I’m not going to confess to your boyfriend.”

Kurosawa blinked. “You’re not? But they just said-” he stopped himself short, clearly realizing what he’d just admitted. “I mean-”

“He’s not my type,” Omura cut in before he could panic too much. “Besides, I doubt my girlfriend would approve.”

Both Kurosawa and Adachi stared at her. For a second, Omura feared she’d really misunderstood them after all, but then Kurosawa slumped against the door in relief.

“I see,” he laughed.

Adachi looked relieved as well. “So that’s what you meant by ‘things in common’, huh?”

“Yeah,” Omura said. “But sorry if I made you nervous.��

“It’s fine.” Adachi waved his hand in dismissal. “How did you find out, anyway? Did Fujisaki tell you?”

So Fujisaki really was in the know. “No, and I don’t think she ever would. You two are just really obvious to those who know what to look for. Especially Kurosawa.”

Kurosawa shrugged, not looking the least bit ashamed. Adachi rolled his eyes fondly.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go back inside,” Omura said. “I’ll tell them I chickened out on confessing to you or something. They’ll lose interest in this whole thing soon enough.”

She passed Kurosawa, who stepped out onto the balcony as she went inside. As she closed the door behind her, she could hear Adachi teasing Kurosawa lightly:

“Were you being jealous again, Yuichi?”

“Don’t be mean. How could I help it when Kiyoshi is so cute, I want him all to myself!”

Adachi laughed but it was muffled. “Not here, someone could see!”

Omura shook her head as the doors sealed shut, leaving them to their privacy. 

She couldn’t wait to tell her girlfriend about this.

[littlewetbeast]

so this is coming from your tags on a post about s8 and 9. as someone who only joined the fandom after nov 5, I'm always curious about what the fandom was like when the show was airing. can you talk about that a little bit more? maybe elaborate on your tags? thanks a lot <3

i can only really tell you what it was like from my perspective back in the day, and what i can say is that there was SO. MUCH. HYPE. when season 8 was coming out. people were pointing to the source material and going, wait! that shit isn’t just a gay sex joke, that shit is like - textual romance! and that’s what made people begin to argue that this time, it wasn’t bait, but a narrative that they surely wouldn’t drop the ball on. of course, now, in hindsight, we all know spn is the baitiest of bait and supreme trashfire, but at the time it truly did seem like things were headed in a new direction - and we had the textual evidence to back us up on that. i mean, i was there watching it all live throughout season 6, 7 and 8 - most of my close friends watched it, and the destiel tumblr community was on fire by the time season 8 rolled around. i wish i could find some of the old meta posts, but essentially, season 8 truly got so many people thinking that this time, the tides were changing. charlie and kevin were now part of the main cast, and there was undoubtable intent in season 8, not just from cas' side, but from dean's as well. people went bonkers over the aaron scene. this was a time where queerbaiting was at a an all-time high amongst so many popular tv shows, but there was simply no one that went the length that supernatural did. and it wasn’t just the undoubtably gay shit - it was the introduction of kevin and charlie, that incremental effort to include more characters outside of a white, male cast, which bolstered the argument that spn was finally headed in a new direction. i mean, they’d done the same shit over and over for years, surely this was a sign that they knew they had to switch things up. i remember being so genuinely hyped, along with my other queer friends, because we started to believe that perhaps spn truly was going to follow through on this. it was literally all there, in the text! one of dean’s closest friends was a lesbian. dean was in a love triangle with two men. dean got romantically flustered when a gay guy hit on him. dean hallucinated cas and altered his memory to cope with him leaving. dean was on his knees telling cas he needed him, and it broke the connection. there was just so much. anyway. having had that experience, the unfolding of spn’s ending and cas’ confession literally felt like a ‘classic spn’ moment for so many of us. we’d already been burned before by having the naïve expectation that spn could... you know, actually be normal about queer people, and write fulfilling narratives for them. throughout season 9 through 10, a huge amount of things that season 8 set up were undone - kevin was killed, charlie was killed, cas and dean were separated and no homo-ed repeatedly. there wasn’t an outrage that i could see on my dash, but myself and all my close friends just... stopped watching. there were crickets on my dash, maybe a few gifs here and there. the interest completely plummeted. there was a silent deflation and quiet acceptance from those of us that had actually gotten our hopes up that spn really was that show. when i discovered they’d killed off both kevin and charlie, that cemented the knowledge that supernatural was never going to give us what we wanted. i can’t even fully describe how fundamentally that experience changed me, but my attitude towards media and queer representation was completely altered as a result. spn has refused to move with the times, but they had already demonstrated before that they were never going to make that leap. they were in the stranglehold of the network, and the desire to retain their conservative viewership overrode every attempt to move beyond the gun-slinging sam-and-dean bro show.  so yeah, in the end, i have such sympathy for newer fans that got burned so badly by the finale, but as an older fan, i looked at it as it was all unfolding and just went - yup, been there, done that. it’s a classic spn move. i stopped giving credit to those who were throwing out crumbs of representation, when what we actually deserve is to feast. anyway, in summary, spn has expertly burned its queer fanbase for almost a decade. in response, i reject many parts of the canon and simply enjoy the fanon content, because it’s stupid and i do what i want. 

[persephone-andromeda]

Love That Will Last

Requested? Yes | No

Will you please write a Bucky x Ivar x Reader fic that takes place during Victorian times? Lots of romance please

Pairing: Victorian times!Winterboneless x reader

Summary: You are the duchess to be of Duke James Barnes and the lover of Lord Ivar Ragnarsson in secret. On the night of a ball, you and Ivar have an argument and you wonder if this love is meant to last.

Song inspo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8GxG7IuI0Y

Warning(s): Angst, reader and Ivar get into an argument, loving James, ends in fluff

Word count: 2.8k (oops)

A/N: This is my first request in a long time! Hope you like it!

Tags: @unbetaedimagines​

The ballroom was blazing with light. Chandeliers cast mini rainbows as the crystals gleamed. A fountain could be heard faintly bubbling outside against the chatter and music of the room and the footsteps of eager ladies and less eager gentleman. Cream and gold decorated the walls with expensive frames of art and sculptures pushed to the corners of the room but placed in a way that looked deliberate. Opulence was the name and it showed.

You were standing by one of the open balcony doors to get the faintest trace of a spring evening breeze. The dress you wore was too tight and the heat of the room made everything too claustrophobic. Maybe it was the champagne too…

A glass of water appeared in your vision and you cast your eyes to your fiancé before downing the liquid quickly. You sighed in relief.

“Thank you. This room is absolutely stifling.”

“Here I thought it was just my presence.”

You snort and hand him the empty glass.

“I could never be bored in your presence, James, no matter what you think,” you tell him before taking him in.

James Barnes, your town’s most eligible bachelor, and a holder of a very large estate, was the most eligible bachelor, is dressed in a smart suit with black tails behind him and a bowtie to match. His blue eyes are slightly shadowed in the light and they make him look even more alluring with the slight smirk on his face.

“I am a lucky man.”

“You better not forget it, or I might just leave you,” you tease.

He fakes a gasp as he holds the glass close to his chest.

“My love you wound me.” He casts his eyes around the room. “Which one of these insufferable fools would you leave me for?”

You also cast your eyes around the room for a few moments and you spot the lord of the house, Ivar, sulking away in a corner with a half empty glass of whiskey. You grin a bit as you turn back to James.

“Well, there’s a lot of qualities and responsibilities that I’d need to replace you,” you start and rock on the balls of your feet, as much as the shoes allow. “First, he’d have to be able to support me and whatever endeavors I hope to achieve. Secondly, he has to be attractive and fun. He can’t sulk away the day. Finally, he has to have an open mind. I have ambitions and dreams and maybe I want to cause some trouble too. He has to help.”

James nods as he twirls the stem of the glass between his fingers.

“Hmm, well, I do believe you’re out of luck here sweetheart. None of these men here have all three qualities that you desire. I guess you’re stuck with me.”

He grins at you and you flush at his gaze as you know what that look means.

“Behave, James. We’re in public,” you whisper as he draws you close to his side.

“Maybe I just want to have a little bit of fun.”

The band concludes with the song and you applaud politely with everyone else as they take a break. You kiss James’s cheek, as the sound of scraping chairs and hurried footsteps around you gives you an opportunity to lean away from his promising touch.

“Will you get me more water? I’m parched.”

James nods and then goes off into the crowd. You take a moment to look for Lord Ivar again, but he is gone from his spot in the corner. You frown for a moment and then hear the signs of squeaky wheels halt at your side.

“Miss (Y/L/N),” he says, and you turn to see him beside you. You start into a curtsey. “You don’t need to do that, you know.”

You smile coyly as you dip back down anyways, just to torture him with the neckline of your dress.

“It is your family home, my lord. It would be impolite to not pay my respects,” you say and complete the curtsey before standing back up.

“And because it is my home, I can command you to do certain…acts,” he teases back.

You fight the flush that tries to crawl its way under your skin.

“Of course, my lord,” you drawl. “But I always make you pay for it later.”

You wink at him and then casts your eyes around the room to make it seem like you and the lord are having a simple conversation, perhaps about the artwork lining the walls. No one needs to know that you’ve been here may times before and you’ve memorized the lines of wallpaper meeting together and the places of frames, even when they are taken down for cleaning.

“Has there been any news about my father’s statues? I thought that you would have told me something by now…” you enquire.

Your father conserved ancient marble statutes and once he had died, since he had no male heir, they were sold at the house auction, breaking your heart. Before you had met James, you spent quite some time looking for them, but you hadn’t been able to find them. Upon James introducing you to Ivar, and learning about his connects, he put out enquiries into them. He had found them two months ago but no new information had been provided since then, leaving you antsy.

The squeak of leather alerts you to the fact that he’s shifting in his seat, either from discomfort from the topic or from the pain in his legs. If this was any other situation, you would help him, but you cannot. No one can know.

“You know I cannot talk about that. Only James is privy-”

“To that information, I know. You always say that,” you finish and sigh before looking at him again. “You know my background. My father didn’t educate me in conservation for years just for you and James to disregard my experience, even in our….relationship. It isn’t fair.”

“Can you believe that we are trying to protect you?”

“No. If you wanted to protect me, you never would have asked me to risk my reputation every time you ask me to come see you. James and I will be married, Ivar, and I don’t know where that leaves you.”

You look away again at the many pairs of feet that are lingering by the drink table or swaying to an unheard song on the floor.

“I understand that you are angry at me for not indulging you, but there are certain things a lady of your disposition-”

You can’t help but laugh at that and then you stare at him again, making him stop.

“Don’t pull that with me. I’m not your mother. You cannot command me to do anything.”

“Watch your tone, woman, or I’ll-”

“What? Hmm?” You stare him down. “What will you do to me? Punish me? Arguing with you is punishing enough and I will not do it anymore, even if you want my forgiveness.”

He snorts.

“Forgiveness? Why would I want that? Have I slighted you, my darling?” He asks with a slight rage burning behind his eyes, begging you to keep going, but arguing with Ivar always ends in someone’s feelings getting hurt and you are not in the mood.

Enraged, you look away from him, just as James returns.

“I’m gone for two minutes and you two are already at it,” he comments and hands you the refilled glass of water.

You down it quickly again, feeling the water cool your anger, but not entirely.

“I want to leave. I’m tired and annoyed,” you address James, ignoring Ivar completely. Two can play at that game.

“You will come back tomorrow and we can-” Ivar starts, and you whip your head around so fast it makes you a bit dizzy.

“I am not cattle to be herded. You will do your best to remember that my lord. I am going to be a duchess and you will show me the respect I have earned.”

He opens his mouth to counter back, but he is stopped by James.

“That’s enough, both of you. If I knew that you two were going to be at each other again, I never would have suggested that we come. My love, let us go and, maybe, we will return tomorrow with cool heads. Agreed?”

“Ever the logical one,” Ivar sneers.

“Ivar,” James says sternly, and shuts his mouth again.

James turns to you.

“Agreed?”

You nod curtly and hand him the empty glass again. You know that Ivar will not say that he agrees but he might if he decides to behave.

“Alright. Let us go before the storm kicks in.”

James leads you away from the crowd of bustling dancers as the music starts up again and you don’t bother to turn around to see if Ivar is watching you go. You doubt he even cares.

On the carriage ride back, you’re abnormally silent as you look out the window. Your annoyance has calmed but it still lingers, even in the cool night breeze.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you tell James as you know he wants you to, at least, say something.

“I’m sure he’ll be sorry in the morning.”

You snort again.

“When Hell decides to freeze over, then maybe then there will be a chance of him apologizing, and actually meaning it.”

“(Y/N)…” James sighs and from the corner of your eye, you see that he has turned to look out the window on his side. “I don’t understand why you two fight so much. There’s nothing be gained from it.”

You swallow and blink back the tears.

“I know.”

You argue because most of the time you don’t believe that Ivar truly loves you as he says he does and when you argue, at least you can see some emotion laced in his words and in his eyes.

“Will you sleep on it? I can come get you in the morning and we can have breakfast at that café you like and discuss it then,” he suggests gently.

You nod.

“Alright,” he concludes.

Fifteen minutes later, the carriage rolls to a stop in front of your home but before you can get out, he stops you. James kisses your hands.

“My love, please think on it. You and I both know he loves you, and don’t look at me like that. You know it’s true.” He kisses your forehead and opens the door to help you back down onto the gravel road. “I love you and no matter what happens, that will never change.”

You nod again and give his hand a squeeze before parting.

“I love you, James Barnes. Always have, always will,” you proclaim softly.

You’re rewarded by one of his dazzling smiles and as you lay in bed that night, you wonder about the future and how uncertain it all seems.

********

At that same moment, Ivar sits at his desk in his study tapping his pen against a piece of paper that has many scribbled and struck out lines on it. He cannot seem to find the right words to apologize or tell you how he feels, even when he knows you’re only trying to help.

He balls up the piece of paper and throws it into the fire before he sighs. He looks at the picture of you on his desk and gently strokes the image of your cheeks.

“What am I to do with you, my love?” He asks himself softly.

He looks at the clock on his desk just before he hears the small bells chime for midnight. Maybe he’ll have a better idea in the morning. He swallows at that and downs the rest of his whiskey before he stares back at the picture.

Right then, he knows what he has to do, and he can only pray that his hands can keep up with the words flowing from his mind.

********

You debated going with James in the late morning, but the argument could not be left unresolved or else bitter feelings would grow between you and Ivar. You are both very stubborn but driven people and you two were bound to clash every once in a while. James always has to play Switzerland, the neutral ground, to make sure that you two didn’t reach the point of no return. That only happened once, and you and Ivar didn’t speak for two weeks. You can’t even remember what that argument was about. That’s how silly it seems.

You sigh a bit as you look out the window as his manor comes into view.

“Remember-” James starts as he’s adjusting his cuffs.

“I know. Be nice, smile. Be a duchess to be.”

James sighs a bit, but you don’t have the energy to respond to that. What you do have is curiosity as you see the servants bringing in a wooden box, and by the sounds of their grunting, a very heavy wooden box. You frown as the carriage rolls to a stop in front of the manor.

The footman helps you down as James rounds the carriage to come to your side.

“What is this? Did Ivar mention anything to you?”

James shakes his head and once the box is securely inside, you enter the manor. The manservant is inspecting the states of the boxes and is making notes in his book as he spots you. He bows to you both.

“Your grace, my lady. Lord Ivar is in his study,” he says and you both nod as you make your way to his study.

“This is very odd,” you whisper to James as he just smiles a bit. You frown again. “What is it?”

“Oh, nothing,” he chuckles. “He’s smarter than I thought is all.”

Now you’re even more confused, but Ivar’s study door is open and the conversation halts. Ivar looks up from the paper he’s studying and looks back down before gesturing for you two to come in.

As you enter, you see papers littering the floor around him and you can only imagine the state under his desk. He isn’t looking up, but you take in as much as you can.

“Have you slept?” You ask gently, your argument almost forgotten.

“No,” he speaks, and you want to protest but stop as he speaks again. “But you will see why. Come with me.”

He sets the pen down and wheels out from his desk and in front of you and James. He stops at the door and looks back at both of you.

“Well, come on. Hurry up so I can sleep this day away.”

You roll your eyes and takes James’s hand as you follow Ivar back out to the main hall where the boxes have been arranged along the sides of the walls deliberately. You can then read the words that are stamped onto the fronts of the boxes that read fragile in Italian. Your heart leaps in your chest.

“Ivar-”

“Shh, let James open them first before you get too excited.”

Ivar gestures to the crowbar that is resting on top of one of the shorter boxes and James takes off his jacket and hands it to you. You take a step back and your heart flutters with nerves and excitement.

It takes James a moment to creak open the front of the box and the protective stuffing comes pouring out, revealing the smoothed marble of one of the statues, completely unharmed.

“Oh,” you exclaim, and James moves aside so you can investigate.

You almost start to cry as you move away some more of the stuffing to see the face of the statue looking out over your head. You gently stroke the marbled cheek and let out a sound between a choke and a sound of exclamation.

You turn to Ivar.

“How did you get them here so fast? I thought that they had been lost or something.”

He shifts in his seat again, this time from discomfort as pink decorates his cheeks.

“You were right last night. I know they were your father’s greatest possessions, besides you of course, and…..I had lost them for a while there during transport and I didn’t want to tell you in case something had happened.” He meets your eyes. “I didn’t want to disappoint you and…..I’m sorry for being so snippy lately. I’ve been worried about them. I managed to send a letter to the dock master late last night when he was on shift and he said he was going to write me because they had arrived around ten. I had them delivered here as fast as he could manage it.”

You rush over and hug him tightly, despite his chair. You press kisses all over his face.

“Oh, Ivar. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I cannot tell you how much this means to me.”

He smiles, a real one, and he strokes your cheek.

“You’re welcome and I am sorry.”

You look at each other for a few moments before James speaks.

“I guess it won’t be a cold day in Hell after all,” he teases.

You know then that this love will last after all, no matter the situation or the fall. Loving forever and forever all time.

[thatshithurted8]

Marigold (2)

Summary: Getting to know JJ Maybank is something you hoped for, but a jealous Rafe makes it his mission to put a stop to your developing feelings.

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader, Fem!Reader x Platonic Rafe, JJ Maybank x Introverted!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k (I went off I guess)

Marigold Masterlist

Currently you sat in the passenger seat of Sarah Cameron’s car as she drove through figure 8 and into the cut. The blonde girl beside you kept going on about some guy named John B and how much she likes him. As you listened you couldn’t help, but wonder what you guys were doing in the cut. You had nothing against anyone or anything in the lower class part of town, but every time you’ve hung out with the Cameron siblings you’ve never seen any of them step foot into the cut willingly.

Sarah invited you to have a sleep over for the weekend and you were going to politely decline considering you weren’t close with her and socializing with people you don’t know well was draining, but your parents caught wind of the invitation and made you go. However, little did you know it wasn’t Sarah’s idea to invite you. Yes, she wished you two were closer, but JJ was the one that ultimately came up with the idea. 

A few days after Midsummers the blonde boy brought up you and how you still haven’t contacted him yet. That was when Kie mentioned how JJ said that you and Rafe seemed to know each other so Sarah must know you as well. Sarah wasn’t surprised when JJ asked her about you. You were a beautiful girl after all, but you barely even spoke, how’d he manage to have a conversation with you? 

Seeing how smitten JJ was for you warmed Sarah’s heart and of course she obliged by inviting you to visit for the upcoming weekend. And when you agreed JJ asked Sarah hundreds of questions about you and what you were like. 

About ten minutes later of Sarah continuing to talk about John B you notice the blonde become quiet while driving down a dirt road before ending up outside of a shack like house. 

“We’re here.” She says turning off the car and smiling over at you. You simply respond back with a smile and follow Sarah out of the car, making sure you grabbed your bag and then walk into the chateau. 

As soon as you stepped foot into the chateau your whole energy changed. You just got comfortable with being alone with Sarah, a girl you’ve known basically your whole life and now you were greeted with a room of fellow teenagers. You could feel yourself retreating back into your shell even though you didn’t want to. 

“Hey I’m Kiara, but you can call me Kie.” A familiar girl says standing up and walking over to you as Sarah passes her to greet another familiar boy which you assumed was the infamous John B. 

“Hi I’m Y/N.” You say timidly before following Kiara over to the couch and sitting down. You felt extremely awkward as you weren’t in your typical surroundings so you didn’t even notice how rigid and uncomfortable you looked sitting pin straight on the couch beside the brown haired girl. 

“That’s Pope.” Kiara says pointing over to the boy leaning against the kitchen counter that was eating cereal. He nods over in your direction, acknowledging you and you smile back. 

“And that’s John B.” She says pointing to the boy holding Sarah in his arms. You simply nod, making a mental note to remember everyone’s names. Just as Kie opens her mouth to talk about the pogue that was missing your direction is turned to the hallway when you hear heavy boots make their way down it. 

“Hey, John B I think I clogged your toilet agai-” JJ says, but instantly stops when he sees you sitting on the couch beside Kie. His cheeks turn a shade of red at his embarrassing statement, but you try your best to bite your tongue to stop yourself from laughing. After seeing JJ you were finally able to connect the dots as to why everyone in the chateau looked so familiar. 

“Hey Marigold.” JJ says, regaining his confidence when he sees how flustered you got at the nickname. 

“Hi.” You softly say back with heated cheeks. 

As the room full of teens becomes engulfed in conversation you don’t notice JJ practically begging Kiara to move from where he stood leaning against a door frame. Finally giving in Kie rolls her eyes and gets up, joining Pope on the floor. Without a moment to spare JJ quickly walks over to the now free spot beside you and plops himself down. 

When he does this you can feel your heart beat increase and nerves started to wash over you. You were worried that he was going to ask you why you didn’t text or call him and he did exactly that. 

“You know I’ve been sitting beside my phone for the last week waiting for a call or text from this really pretty girl that I gave my number to.” JJ says for only you to hear. 

Still sitting up straight you look over at the boy beside you who was sitting comfortably against the couch. His gaze on you was intense and felt hot. You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with him as he made you too nervous. 

“I-I wanted to text you, but I lost the napkin.” You softly say telling the truth. When you were chasing after Rafe who was chasing after JJ you dropped the napkin JJ gave you and didn’t notice until it was too late. 

“Well I can give you my number again, but this time I’ll write it down in your phone so you don’t lose it.” JJ says winking at you when you finally make eye contact, but you instantly look away blushing when he does so. 

Looking up at the teens in front of you who were laughing at something Pope just said you pull your phone out of your shorts pocket and unlock it before handing it over to JJ. 

JJ watches you as you do this and he truly enjoyed how flustered you got because of him. As cliche as it sounded though when both of your hands touched when exchanging your phone he could’ve sworn he felt electricity. 

For the first time since you got to the Chateau you looked at JJ and admired him without being too scared or nervous to do so. The blue eyed boy typed his name into your phone and then his number and then decided to put a emoji beside his name. As you watch him search for the perfect emoji to use you can’t stop yourself from starring at his large hands and ring clad fingers. He really couldn’t get anymore perfect could he?

It didn’t take long for JJ to find the emoji of his choice which ultimately was a flower that resembled the marigold flowers that were in your hair when you two first met. Satisfied with his choice JJ hands his phone back over to you and admires your frame while you put it back into your pocket.

-

To both yours and Sarah’s surprise after a few hours of hanging out with the pogues you started to open up and leave your shell. You found it extremely easy to talk and open up to the blonde haired and blue eyed boy that remained by your side your whole visit the day before. You’ve never opened up to someone this fast and you started to realize that there was nothing to be anxious or worried about when it came to JJ and the pogues.

It was now day two into your weekend sleep over at the Cameron household and you were actually quite glad your parents made you go. Currently you were laying down in the hammock while JJ and Pope tried to start a fire.

Sarah and John B left to find more fire wood which was taking them quite awhile, but you didn’t mind. You were too busy admiring JJ who was crouched down trying to get the wood to ignite with his silver lighter. 

Just as the two boys finally get the fire started Kiara opens the chateau’s door and comes outside. “Hey Y/N can you help me with the smores stuff?” 

Shifting your attention from JJ who’s face was now illuminated by the fire to Kiara, you nod your head and get up. Without realizing, as you walk over to the wavy haired girl JJ’s head follows every step you take, admiring how adorable you looked in one of his sweatshirts. 

“Is JJ Maybank debating on settling down?” Pope jokes once you were out of ear shot. 

“If I do that means the only two people that won’t be dating are you and Kie.” The blonde responds back with a wink, instantly wiping Pope’s smug smirk off of his face. 

The truth is that JJ didn’t date. Everyone knew that even tourons that return every summer, but when JJ first saw you it was like a scene straight out of a disney movie. Although you guys haven’t known each other for long JJ somehow knew deep down in his heart that you were going to be very important in his life. He just knew. 

“So Y/N are you warming up to us?” Kie asks, letting the door close behind them as they walk inside the dimly lit chateau. 

“Yes, I hope we can hang out more this summer.” You say truthfully. 

Over the last 48 hours you have grown close to the small group of teens, even Sarah, a girl you’ve barely made a connection with before. It was like the pogues brought something out of you which made you feel carefree and to let your wall of shyness down. Of course you were still shy, but you could feel yourself leaving your shell more and more just with every conversation you had with them. 

“I do too. And I know JJ does too.” 

“What do you mean?” You ask while Kiara opens the fridge and grabs a few cans of beers. 

She turns and looks at you funny before looking through the fridge again to find the chocolate, after all John B didn’t have air conditioning and it wouldn’t be useful if it melted. “You don’t see the way he looks at you?” 

“No?” You ask. She was acting as if JJ looked at you 24/7 and with the same love and desire as Stanley did with Rosalie, the main protagonists in your newest romance novel. 

Kie scoffs and closes the fridge, not believing anything you said. She was honestly dumbfounded on how you didn’t see the way JJ looked at you. It was so obvious that JJ liked you. 

“Oh come on girl he looks at you the way John B looks at Sarah.” The brown eyed girl says bringing a finger up to her mouth and pretending to gag, causing you to laugh. “It’s so obvious that JJ likes you that even a blind man can see that.” 

Kie always respected the pogue rule where you don’t tell anyone each other’s business, but from her experience when JJ had a crush on a girl, which was rare he never made a move despite being the playboy of the island. 

You blush at Kie’s kind words and look down at your feet. “JJ told me how they left you and Sarah on Pope’s dads boat.” You say giggling, while trying to change the topic at the same time. 

“Sarah and I have to get them back for that still. You and JJ should pretend to hate each other so we can do something similar.” She says grabbing the smores ingredients while wiggling her eyebrows at you. 

You simply laugh and grab the cold beers off of the counter. “I wouldn’t mind that.” You say truthfully causing Kie to hype you up as you two walked out of the chateau and down the porch steps. 

By the time you guys got back Sarah and John B were also back and were sitting side by side in lawn chairs. Pope was also sitting down, leaving one lawn chair left and the hammock, but Kiara quickly sets everything down away from the fire before plopping down in the last chair. JJ remained standing, looking down at the fire like a proud father who just witnessed their child take their first steps. 

As you hand the beer around, giving one to everyone except for Sarah as she was driving JJ looks up and his heart beat increases once he realizes he’s in your vicinity again. 

“Here you go.” You softly say, handing the last can of cold beer to the blonde while the rest of the group were engulfed in a conversation about what was the best surfboard wax. 

“Thank you.” He responds back with the same tone of voice before nodding over to the hammock. You nod your head and follow the blue eyed boy over to the white and navy blue fabric hanging between two trees. 

JJ holds it while you get on, making sure you don’t flip or fall off. Once you were on he hands his unopened beer to you and joins you, moving around a bit at first before finally getting comfortable. 

If your friends at home heard that you made five new friends over the weekend and cuddled with one, and that one being a boy they wouldn’t believe you even if you had picture proof. It wasn’t like you to make connections with guys and when you did you usually got heartbroken from having too high standards from your novels. But as the minutes and hours went by you realized you liked who you were when you were around the pogues and Sarah. After having a taste of letting go you were dreading going back home. 

JJ opens his beer and takes a big gulp before wrapping his arm around you as you two spooned. Because you were so introverted and shy you’ve never been this close to a guy physically other than Rafe, but this was different. With Rafe he was a brother to you, but with JJ you felt something and you can only describe it the way your favourite authors do when their characters begin to like each other. 

“Do you want some?” JJ asks lifting up the can closer to your face. 

You shake your head, “No I’m okay. Thank you though” You say nestling your head into JJ’s chest. 

As you do this you can hear his heart beat and how fast it was beating. Maybe Kie was right? But wasn’t it way too soon for that? After all you’ve only known of each other for a week, and two of those days you’ve actually gotten to know each other. 

JJ’s thoughts of how content and happy he was in that moment were interrupted when John B throws a marshmallow at the blonde. “We’ve been playing truth or dare it’s your turn.” 

“Oh uh truth.” He says, picking the choice he didn’t pick often. JJ loved doing dares, but he didn’t want to get up and leave the position he was in. 

“What’s your love language?” Kie asks wiggling her eyebrows at JJ like she did to you earlier. Considering JJ, Pope, Kie and John B have been friends for so long they knew practically everything about each other, but they wanted you to know the answer for the future they hoped you two had. 

“What the hell is that?” JJ asks confused, never hearing of the concept before.

“How you express your love.” You say softly turning to look up at him. 

He looks down at you and smiles while a blush covers his face, but luckily the darkness of the night prevented you from seeing your effects on him. “Uhh I guess I express my love by doing things for people I care about no matter the risk.” He says shrugging his shoulders and pulling you closer to him. 

Content with his answer JJ asks John B truth or dare and the brunette responds back with dare. 

“I dare you to stuff as many marshmallows in your mouth as you can then french kiss Sarah.” 

“No way in hell.” Sarah says shooting a disgusted look at JJ causing everyone to laugh. 

“Oh come on I think it would be hot!” John B exclaims intertwining his hands with his girlfriends. 

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and I’m gonna make a smore.” She says rolling her eyes playfully while getting up to make her treat. Pope and Kie follow suit, but Kie sits back down when Pope says he will make her one. 

“Do you want one?” JJ asks looking down at you in his arms. 

“I’m okay.” You softly say as a yawn takes over your face before your roll over so you were facing JJ. You snuggle into the blondes chest once again and let your eyes flutter closed. It was understandable why you were tired, after all you were socializing all day while being out in the hot sun and JJ taught you how to surf when you all went to the beach. 

JJ brings the can of beer to his lips and gulps down the rest of it’s contents before throwing it at Pope’s butt and wrapping his arms around you. Even though you two were the farthest away from the fire JJ felt warm and fuzzy, a feeling he hasn’t felt before. 

- 

Rolling over you check the time on the analogue clock beside the guest bed you were sleeping in. 3:27am. 

You look around the dark room in the Cameron household, searching for your glass of water, but you couldn’t find it. With an annoyed groan you kick the blankets off of you and step out of bed, realizing you didn’t bring one with you. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but you were supposed to wake up early with Sarah to meet the pogues at The Wreck for breakfast before you went home. 

As you tiptoe down the winding staircase and into the kitchen you secretly hope that Rafe was sound asleep in bed like everyone else in his family. You loved Rafe, but you were still quite upset at him for what he pulled at Midsummers and on top of that you didn’t want him to find out you were hanging out with the boy he was ganging up on at Midsummers. So avoiding the oldest Cameron sibling was your plan until you felt like there was no longer any tension. 

Quietly you open a cabinet and reach inside for a glass. You didn’t bother to turn on the light since the moon was shinning in through the windows. Just as you bring the glass to the large stainless steal fridge the kitchen light turns on, causing you to jump and almost drop the glass in your hands. 

“What the hell Rafe?” You ask, slightly laughing with the glass close to your chest while you slow down your frightened breaths. 

“So you have been hanging out with my sister and the pogues?” He says getting straight to the point while leaning over the island with crossed arms. 

“Yea.” You simply say, turning back to the fridge to get your water. 

“Is that why you’ve been ignoring me?” 

You raise your eyebrows while taking a sip of your cold water. “No, I’m still upset about what happened at Midsummers.” You say truthfully. 

Rafe scoffs and pushes himself off of the cold marble before walking around the island to stand closer to you. “Is that what they told you to say? I bet they also told you how much of a dick I am. Especially that Maybank kid, he is a sly motherfucker.” 

“If you’re going to talk shit about my friends I’m going to go to bed. I have to get up early to see them before I leave anyways.” You say drinking the last bit of water then putting the glass in the sink before walking past the brunette. 

“Y/N wait.” He says grabbing a hold of your wrist and softly pulls you towards him. 

“I need to tell you something?” 

You look up at the boy in front of you expectantly, you could feel the bags growing under your eyes and you just wanted to go back to bed. 

“My dad and I have been trying to tell Sarah this for a while. Those pogues aren’t good people. First John B stole our scuba diving equipment and sold it for quick cash.” Rafe lies, causing you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion. The John B you know wouldn’t do that. 

“They’re all bad, but JJ is the worst. You know my friend Topper?” He asks keeping eye contact with you. 

You nod your head still confused as to what Rafe was getting at. “Well, JJ pulled a gun to his head.” 

You simply snort at Rafe’s statement while rolling your eyes playfully. “You don’t believe me?” He asks pulling his phone out of his pocket before pulling up a video. 

Intrigued you look over at the screen as he turns it for you to see and your curiosity turned into horror as you watch John B and Topper wrestle around in the sand and water. Clearly there was a party that went wrong and someone took a video of the fight instead of helping out the boy that was currently being drowned. 

Suddenly you see a mop of blonde hair rush over to the two boys and a black object is pointed against Toppers head. ‘Yea you know what that is!’ JJ yells in the video before party goers start to scream and yell because the Maybank boy raises the gun into the air, firing multiple shots. 

The video ends and Rafe puts his phone back into his pocket. You look over at him confused, shocked and at a lack of words. Some may argue that you couldn’t tell that was JJ in the video and that’s probably why the police didn’t do anything, but you knew it was him. You recognized his hair and voice and he was even wearing the same shirt yesterday after you guys went surfing. 

“And that’s not the only thing Y/N.” He says with a sad sigh even though he knew his plan was working. 

“What?” You ask even more worried while your heart seemed to beat a mile a minute. 

“JJ made a bet with John B to see how many girls he can sleep with over the summer. And I’m afraid Y/N that you’re just a quick fuck to raise his score.”

- 

“Hey guys.” Sarah says with a bright smile, getting into the van after coming out of her house. “You guys ready for breakfast?” She asks looking around at her friends in the back seat. 

JJ instantly ignores the blondes question and looks out the window at her large house. “Where’s Y/N?” He asks, hoping that you were just going to the washroom quickly or something. 

Sarah’s excited smile for breakfast quickly turns into a scowl. “I don’t know she was gone when I woke up. I think my dad said Rafe was driving her home?”

@write-from-the-heart @collecting-stories-main @mk15x @joshy-obx

[julieloveupstead]

"I'm Never Leave You" - Upstead

Chapter 2

Warehouse, a bloodied Roy handcuffed to a pipe by Voight above him. He spotted her. He pointed his gun at her. Animal fury was painted on his face, pure desire for murder in his eyes. He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. Hailey was frightened of her Sergeant for the first time. For a moment, she runs her eyes from Roy to the Sergeant and immediately understood what was going on here. Hailey is trying to appeal to what she thought was still the remnants of a human conscience she saw in the Sergeant not so long ago, but from the moment she looked into his eyes she already knew she was at a loss, but she wanted to believe that there was still something of humanity in him, that she would succeed.

Unfortunately, it only took a split second for everything to go wrong. Voight walks over to Roy and buckles him down. Roy takes the opportunity to take the gun. Hailey screams for him to leave, barrel pointed at Voight, he repeats to put the gun down, but to no avail. Gun pointed at her, repeat three more times. Two shots. Roy's body slumps inertly to the ground. Blood everywhere. The first thoughts that come to her mind are what was the best thing she did? What did she do? Jay, after all, he's going to hate her. This will be the end. What did she do? No. No. Nope. NO. NO! Noooooo!

- Hailey. - I hear a voice in the distance, quiet and unclear. Hailey tries to focus her attention on it, but she keeps seeing this blood everywhere. A dead man. After all, she killed a man. She crossed an unacceptable line. - Hailey. - That voice again. She knows that voice, but from where, at this point, she finds it hard to connect the voice to the person. She feels cloudy in the head, and the sight before her eyes is just that blood. Voight looking at her with that demented look of his.

Jay woke up as soon as he heard Hailey quietly sobbing in her sleep he tried to rouse her gently from her sleep, so he whispered softly in her ear, but it had no effect and to tell you the truth he even felt it made it worse. Hailey started to squirm, pushing him away, but he didn't let her go, holding her in his arms the whole time. His heart was breaking at the sight of his girlfriend suffering, and it hurt even more knowing that there wasn't much he could do to help her. All he can do is be there for her every step of the way.

- 'Baby, it's all right now. I've got you. - He kept repeating softly into her ear, stroking her shoulder. He wanted to show her in every way that he was there for her, that he would never leave her no matter what fate put in front of them. - Angel, I am here. I have you. I have you. No one will hurt you anymore. I promise. - Jay kisses the top of her head without stopping whispering and keeps holding her in his arms. No, that's not possible. After all, Jay, he hates me. He can't know. - I love you. It's going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere. It's all right now. I'm holding you. I will never let anyone hurt you again. - he continued in a calm tone.

Finally, Hailey opened her eyes slowly, looking around. She wasn't in a warehouse, but in her bedroom, warm, strong arms embracing her. She turned and saw the outline of a face and instead of fury-filled stares she saw green wise, calm loving and worried eyes.

- Jay - regaining control of his voice and when reality finally came to her in her eyes, Jay saw panic arise and another wave of tears, and immediately tears came to him too. He hated to see his treasure crying for even the slightest reason, he wanted to protect her at all costs, even at the cost of his life.

- Shhh Angel I'm here - he kissed Hailey on the top of her head and pulled her whole body onto his so that her head was placed against his chest, so that she could hear his heartbeat and he could embrace her whole and hold her until the end of his days. He could feel her body shaking from crying, so he hugged her tighter - Do you hear? It beats for you and because of you, and while it beats, I will do everything to protect you. No matter what, no matter who I have to go to war with, no matter what I have to do, I will be here, I will be by your side. I love you and I always will. I will never leave you. We'll figure something out, both of us. Step by step.

Jay assured his beloved to reassure her. Listening to the sure, tender voice of her man, Hailey closed her eyes and completely focused her attention on the beating of his heart, the way he soothingly whispered and the gentle kisses he placed on her head. No words were necessary for them, because what could they say in such a situation anyway. They just lay there and that was completely enough for them both to calm their battered nerves, to slow their hearts down. Hailey loved that moment when she felt like their hearts were beating in the same rhythm. The feeling of being one with someone on so many levels is something amazing, something special, something that little girls fed on fairy tale life hear about, or as grown women reading romance novels or watching romantic movies. Imagining a special love for Hailey was a springboard for what was going on at home. When her dad would come in drunk and rowdy locking himself in his safe place and reading books she would dream that this wonderful hero, this knight on a white horse would suddenly appear at her window and take her, her mum and her two brothers away. But these were just naïve dreams, only a foolish hypocrisy of reality, which after some time ended with a painful clash with reality. She would never have thought that in her life there could really be someone who would love her with all his being, accept her as she is, stay by her side when he finds out about her mostly and want to stay by her side in spite of all that, and want to protect her from every evil. And yet she's found Jay and can't believe he's her friend, her partner and still her boyfriend. For the first time in Hailey Anne Upton's life, she feels safe and really, really loved. She constantly wondered how she ever deserved such a wonderful, warm and honest man like Jay.

- Jay - Hailey spoke quietly after a long moment of silence, with an audible panic in her voice and hoarse from hours of crying.

Hailey felt no fear only of the consequences of what she had done and what might happen between her and Jay, and what was happening now at the police station, because after what had happened everything had turned upside down there. Kevin even though he was there for Kim when they were sitting outside the room yesterday, it felt like the argument that started between him and Adam at the police station the day Burgess was kidnapped has completely changed their relationship, and it's not going to be the same as it used to be. Besides, she can't imagine how she's going to turn up at work tomorrow and how she's going to work in the same place with Voight. Certainly not after what happened in that warehouse. And how is she has going to look Kim, Adam and Kevin in the eye? Damn what she has gotten hersself into.

- Yeah? - He asked, kissing Hailey's head again,bringing Hailey back from her reverie. Jay started playing with her hair, and she closed her eyes again, giving herself over to the caresses.

- What's going to happen now? - she asked in a weak voice.

- What do you mean? - Jay asked her. His watchful green eyes full of peace and love looked at her, soothing her anxious thoughts now and giving her the courage to continue.

- 'Well, Kevin and Adam are at odds and I doubt that will change any time soon. - Jay nodded, letting her know he was listening, so she could keep talking. - 'And then there's this thing with Voight and me. I... Ah... - she moved away from Jay to sit down, Jay continued to look at her tenderly, giving her his full attention. He never rushed her, always waiting patiently until she was ready. Hailey really can't express how grateful she is that she met Jay on her path and for his patience and most of all his understanding with her all these years. - I mhm after that... - Jay, seeing that she was finding it difficult to express herself, placed his hand on her thigh and drew circles on them to help her relax and so that she could throw out whatever was sitting in her head. Hailey concentrated on these movements, closed her eyes and let out the air she had been holding, and was able to start speaking again. - What I mean is... - she interrupted again. It had always been hard for her to open up sometimes even in front of her boyfriend and that made her feel bad because after all it was only Jay, and she knew that she could trust him with everything, but now she felt that every word could bring her closer to losing the man who was most important to her in the whole world. Now that was her greatest fear. But Jay proved to her every day that he would not leave her, that he accepted her fully, so holding on to that she gathered her courage and began to speak again. This time, in a more confident voice, she said what was bothering her. - How, am I supposed to come to work tomorrow? How am I supposed to look into the eyes of Kim, who deserved to look that son of a b*ch who did this to her in the eyes and show him that she is alive and that he didn't break her, that she survived this hell. - Tears began to appear in her eyes. Jay slowly rose to sit down, reached out and wiped the tears from her cheeks. - How am I going to look them all in the eye? How am I going to work with Voight now? Jay, what's going to happen to us? - She covered her mouth with her hand to silence the sobs that escaped from her throat.

Jay immediately pulled her to him, and she snuggled into him tightly, as if Jay was a last resort, and maybe he was. Hailey wrapped her arms around Jay's neck with her own and laid her head in the hollow of his neck and inhaled the oh so familiar, soothing scent. Jay hugged her tightly, nestling his face into the hollow of her neck, giving her kisses every so often in that spot.

They didn't know how long they lasted in such an embrace, but they didn't think to pull away from each other. Both of them felt safe only in each other's embrace and after the events of the last days, they were an anchor for each other, which meant that they did not lose touch with reality.

- 'Hailey, my Angel - he spoke in a tender voice, close to Hailey's ear, focusing her attention on him. - First of all, Hailey, you didn't do anything wrong. Roy was dangerous, incalculable, and could have really hurt you. He could have shot at you, and then I...- she felt him struggle to swallow his saliva and knew he must have imagined the situation, so Hailey hugged him tighter to keep him from thinking whatever he was thinking about now. Jay pulled Hailey away from him, so he could look at her, so he could admire her beautiful face, her gorgeous blue eyes. She was wearing his t-shirt, and she looks so beautiful, and the moonlight that was coming through the window gave such a glow that Hailey really did look like an Angel. His Angel. He loved her so much and wanted so much for her to finally be happy and for no one to hurt her anymore. He couldn't imagine life without her and knowing that someone had hurt her. Damn it, why Hailey? Why did Voight pick on her? WHY?- I want you to know that whatever happened in that warehouse is not your fault, Voight is responsible for all of this, and I promise you that none of our friends would look at you any differently than they are looking at you right now if you told them. Honey look at me - with two fingers he lifted Hailey's face, so she could look at him. Looking into those beautiful blue eyes, now reddened from hours of crying, caused his heart to break again.

Watching the most important woman in his life suffer, and he couldn't do anything about it, was like the ultimate torture that he hoped to never experience again. He felt this way when he came back from Afghanistan as a 20-year-old and his mother fell ill, and during that period he watched his mother suffer in pain and all he could do was be there for her. Even under the time he was on the front line and seeing all the destruction, the deaths of his friends and innocent people, the worst thing was this powerlessness, this realization that you can't do something to make it better, to help them. After his mother's death, he promised himself that he would never again stand by and watch someone he loved suffer, which is why he wanted to enlighten Lindsay a few years ago, to save her from suffering, but somewhere deep down he felt it wouldn't work. It was the same for Mouse, who decided to return to the army because it was the only place he felt fulfilled, needed and alive. The realization that he couldn't help his friend and that he let him go to his death haunts him to this day. And now that he has Hailey, the woman he loves more than anyone before, and he can't do anything. He can't give up, not when it comes to her. Not now that she's finally by his side, not when in his dreams instead of nightmares of what happened on the front lines he dreams of a wonderful future with her. So he can't give up and has to figure something out.

- I'm sorry Sweetheart, but at the moment I'm not able to find answers to your questions - he said, feeling tears appear in his own eyes as he saw the disappointment painting in Hailey's eyes for a split second. That sight broke him down even more. - I'm so sorry, Angel. I'm so sorry. - he said in a breaking voice. - But I know one thing for sure, and I can promise you here and now that as long as we love each other and as long as we have each other, everything will work out somehow. You will see, Angel, we will work something out. - Seeing another wave of tears running down Hailey's cheeks, he felt how much he had let her down. - 'I'm sorry Hailey, I know it's not much, but...' - Hailey interrupted his nervous chatter by placing a kiss on his lips.

- 'Jay, knowing that you're here, with me, and that you love me, means more to me than anything else you can imagine. Whatever happens, I'm not afraid of it as long as you're with me. - Hailey cupped Jay's cheeks in both hands to let him know that what she says is what she really means. - And You're right, as long as we're together, I'm sure things will somehow work out. - She wiped the tears running down her boyfriend's cheek with her thumbs.

This time it was Jay who kissed Hailey. It wasn't a brief kiss, it was a kiss assuring that they are and will be by each other's side until the end of the world and one day longer.

Because the truth is, when they're together, nothing can compare.

❁❁❁

They didn't even know when they fell asleep in each other's embrace, but they were awakened by the sound of the phone ringing.

- I think it's your Jay - Hailey called out in a sleepy voice.

- Shit, I know darling - Jay's voice after waking up was her favorite sound and if it wasn't for the awareness of the events of the last days maybe it would have been the beginning of interesting things. 'Wrap yourself up, your friend is fighting for her life, and you're thinking about stuff like this. Hailey stiffened in thought.

Hailey fell asleep resting her whole body on Jay, because just feeling the warmth of his body and hearing his heartbeat meant that she could fall asleep peacefully, and sleep went on without nightmares. She sat on the bed leaning against the headrest trying to rouse herself, she studied her boyfriend's body language. She saw Jay flexing his muscles and tried to set herself up for the worst.

- "Hmm, good. Okay, we'll be right there." - As Jay ended the call, Hailey prayed that what she was thinking about didn't come out of Jay's mouth. She didn't know what she would do if Kim... No, she can't think about that right now. Kim is strong and has someone to fight for. She's sure she'll come out of this. Hailey is sure Kim will.

- It's Kevin with the new information about Kim," he said, wiping his face with his hand, as he usually does when he's tired or overwhelmed by information and all she could think about at that moment was that the worst had happened.

- God no, no, no. - Hailey hid her face in her hands and cried. She couldn't believe it, this couldn't be happening for real. Jesus and what about Makayla, after all this little baby has already lost two moms and her biological father is in prison. She's been through so much at the age of six, it's unimaginable trauma for such a child. It's a good thing that she still had Adam, maybe the loss won't be so hard and she can grow up normally.

- Hailey, Angel, Kim is alive - Jay pulled his girlfriend in closer.

- What are you talking about? - Hailey raised her head and looked in disbelief at Jay, who had a big smile on his face.

- 'Kev just called and said Kim took the surgery well and made it through the night. He said that now Kim is in for tests and as soon as the doctors allow it will be possible to see her. - he continued enthusiastically.

- For real? - Hailey couldn't believe it. Jay nodded, and Hailey cringed again, but this time not from despair, but because of the relief she felt at hearing that her friend had survived and was still fighting. - Oh my God, it's a miracle.

- I told you everything would work out. - he said, kissing the top of her head.

They both felt a huge stone fall from their hearts with this good news. Their friend, their sister is still with them and that is the most important thing, and they know that everything will end well.

- 'Okay, give me thirty minutes, and we can go to her,' she said, pulling away from Jay, and getting out of bed. She felt like a new energy was coming into her, she wanted to go to Kim right away. However, she was stopped by arms wrapped around her, she felt herself being pulled to her chest.

- Angel, I would love to be there too, but unfortunately the bad people don't have free time. - he said and smiled slightly.

- What is it this time? - Hailey rolled her eyes, but immediately switched into cop mode. She moved away from Jay with reluctance.

- The shooting at 8709 Moonworth - Hailey only nodded, but before she left she placed a deep kiss. She was so happy, the fact that Kim had survived hell gave her hope that maybe her situation would somehow end well too.

- I love you, Jay - she whispered against Jay's lips.

- I love you, Hailey - they whispered and joined their lips together again.

Yes, everything will work out.

❁❁❁

After 30 minutes, Hailey and Jay show up at the scene of the shooting.

- What have we got? - Jay is the first to speak up, seeing Kevin's apartment building coming out.

- Two bodies that we haven't been able to identify yet. - explained Kev as they entered the building with Jay and Hailey. - The house was used for storing drugs and weapons. We found a few bags of amphetamines in the cupboards, but that still needs to be confirmed by the lab, and in the basement we found several pieces, military weapons and more guns.

- Gang meth? - Hailey asked, looking around the living room they were in.

- We think so. Voight's talking to the gang unit. They're in the back of the house.

At the mention of Sarge's name, Hailey clasped her hands together nervously, which didn't escape the attention of Jay standing next to her, who immediately moved closer to her to give her some reassurance, if only in that way. And if Kevin noticed anything, he didn't comment on it, for which Jay was grateful to his friend.

- 'Then I'll go talk to Vo... Sarge, and you guys go back to headquarters. Maybe Trudy will have some information on who owned the house, and maybe there have been previous reports. - The name of their Sergeant, couldn't pass Jay's lips, he also knew that he had given Kevin and Hailey tasks that could be done by uniforms, but he didn't want Hailey and the Sergeant to meet. He realized that they wouldn't be able to avoid it forever, but as long as Jay felt he could have control over it, he would do everything he could to make it happen as late as possible.

Hailey was grateful that Jay had taken on the responsibility of meeting the Sergeant, she knew she wouldn't have been able to face him herself. Not after what had happened, so she was relieved to follow Kevin out.

- Are you all right? - Kevin asked as we got into his car.

- Yes, why? - she didn't dare to tell Kev the truth yet, so she tried her best to control Hailey's emerging panic attack about Voight being there.

- 'Nothing, I just got the impression that you guys reacted strangely when I said Voight was in there, I probably thought. - he said in a curious voice. Again though, I slowly clenched my hand into a fist and my heart started beating faster, I could feel my breathing speeding up. Hailey closed her eyes and tried to calm down, repeating to herself that he is not here, that Voight is not able to hurt her, that she is stronger than anyone can imagine.

- You know, it's probably because of the whole situation with Kim that everyone is over-sensitive. - she said with a calm tone.

- You are probably right. I'm just glad that Kim got through the worst of it. - She only nodded at Kevin's words because I didn't trust my voice to betray that I was barely keeping myself from crying.

Fortunately, the rest of the way to the command passed in pleasant silence.

At the same time, Jay was trying not to say something inappropriate and come off as rude, but it wasn't his fault that as soon as he stepped in front of the Sergeant he felt like punching him for what his Hailey had done. It had always puzzled him how one event, one word could cause us to change our outlook on a person. It wasn't that long ago that he considered Voight to be his so to speak august authority, at one point he'd even counted on his opinion like the Latrell case, and now all Jay felt about the man standing in front of him was dislike and disgust.

- Detective Halstead, please meet Sergeant Smith from the drugs department - Voight turned to Jay, and introduced a man around 50 years old. Jay shook the Sergeant's hand. -This is one of my best men. - Hearing such a formal tone of his superior he felt like snorting, standing here by his side cost him a lot of willpower. - Jay you will be in charge of this case, I hope that you will cooperate and that there will be no problems. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to. - Voight turned and began to head towards the car, and Jay, prompted by the rage he'd felt inside him ever since he found out what this man had done to Hailey, said goodbye to Sergeant Smith with a brief nod and followed Voight.

- 'You want something from me, Jay? - Voight spoke up without turning to Jay. Well, yes, the brunet could have guessed that the older man would realize that he was following him.

- I want you to know that I know what you did. - Jay didn't feel like playing the under card, so he got straight to the point. Voight finally turned his front to Jay and smiled at him as if he'd expected it.

- But I didn't do anything - the confidence with which Voight spoke terrified Jay. The man he was looking at now was not the same man he had known for almost 9 years. As the flaps fall from Jay's eyes, and he now sees the real Sergeant he always was. Now it came to him what a monster he had given his loyalty to. After all, Voight didn't even feel remorse, and no guilt in his eyes. - And how's Hailey doing there, Jay? - What a son of a b*ch. Jay barely managed to stop himself from punching the man he'd considered some sort of authority figure for years, and now all he feels is rage and disbelief that he didn't see who he really is sooner.

- Just try to get close to her Son of a b*ch- threatened Jay, approaching the grey-haired man so that only he could hear.

- Because what are you going to do to me? - Jay knew Voight was testing him on how far he would go for her. Voight's problem, though, was that he was overconfident and the fact that he brought up an even more clever detective.

- 'I won't have to do anything, I'll just remind you that you're in the swamp and if you do something that gets Hailey in trouble because of you then Hailey has a lot of people around her who love her and who are ready to pull her out and you,' he stabbed a finger at Voight, 'And you don't have anyone left Hank and that can only be due to yourself. - And without waiting for any response from the Sergeant, he walked away.

Jay knows that Voight is able to find people who owe him a favor, and maybe they will be able to help him, but Jay also knew something else, that there are more people who Voight got under his skin and after so many years of work he has more than one thing to say, and if Jay had problems because of that, it would be nothing. The most important thing for Jay was that Hailey not suffer anymore because of anyone.