#you know I’m hindsight I should have a tag for the bullies

[pixlokita]

What are your designs for the other three bullies in FNAF 4?

You mean aside from Ramona and Michael? I already showed a group pic but here I also drew Sebastian and Kevin being idiots :’v

[mariejordans]

i honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post, so i guess i’ll start with hi! sorry, i’ve been gone so long, though probably most of you didn’t even notice i was gone lol. sorry for not giving any warning to my absence, and i am especially sorry to the mutuals who have reached out to me that i haven’t responded to. i was and still am struggling with anxiety and depression and towards the new year it was getting to be a bit much for me, so i decided to take a mental health break from social media.

i’d honestly been contemplating coming back, but today i received a dm from someone with a link to a post that was accusing me of bullying and creating fake accounts to bully other people in this fandom. first of all, i would like to emphasize that this is not true. attached below is a screenshot of all the blogs that i own (EDIT 2/9/24: i have since deleted the screenshot for my own privacy and i believe that since i made this post, there has been more than enough evidence to clear my name.) milfsociety is my main account, which i have linked before on this blog and many of my mutuals also follow me on my main, and the rest of them are just me saving my old usernames or other sideblogs that i rarely use, but all of them have been inactive for two months at least.

i do NOT condone bullying ever, and to be continually accused of it by this person is very disheartening. it started with this post (seen below) that i made back in november after seeing a post discrediting marie as the main character of gen v. i admit that my language was probably a bit harsher than was necessary, but honestly my intention was not to send hate to op (which is why i never tagged it with any gen v related tags) but to defend marie. it also wasn’t meant to be solely specific to this one person but as a general post because at the time, there were lots of accounts discrediting marie and to be honest, i was just kinda venting bc of how sick of it i was. (also, just to mention, i have intentionally left out their username because the last thing i want is to send hate to this person.) this was the only post i made on the topic and later i heard that apparently op blocked me afterward (which does not offend me in the slightest since i have since done the same thing) so this honestly should have been the end of it.

i honestly hadn’t given this post a second thought until a little under a month later i received this ask out of nowhere, accusing me of ableism and bullying. i replied to this ask, which i will link here. honestly this ask came as a complete shock to me, because i had honestly forgotten all about my previous post.

i responded to anon and in the reply i apologized to their friend for my hurtful comments and expressed that it was never my intention to attack anyone, especially anyone with a disability, which i did not know about when i initially made the first post. i also explained my side, stating why i made the post in the first place, which i still stand by. originally, i had linked their post in my reply, which in hindsight was a mistake that i regret and i should’ve known better. again, my last intention ever is to spread hate and negativity or to bully anyone, so i deleted the link when i was asked by a third party. this person has also since deleted that post about marie entirely.

shortly after i posted the reply, i guess i can only assume that whoever anon was told them about the reply. i’m honestly not sure if they’ve ever actually read this reply or not, but they made a response to my reply, accusing me of harassment and bullying. honestly, it really confused me at the time, since i’d only made two posts in reference to them, and one was a reply to an ask, but we ended up having a third party account who was mutuals with both of us acting as a mediator to settle things and i genuinely wanted to move on from the situation. we both had each other blocked and it seemed to me that anon was just trying to instigate more drama between us, so i thought it best to just leave it at that. i was also going through some mental health issues at the time (unrelated to this situation even though it didn’t help) and had been considering taking a break from tumblr, and so i thought it would be best to just go inactive for a while.

this is honestly the first time i’ve used tumblr in the two months since i’ve been gone, so i have no idea what else has been happening regarding any other blogs and this person, but apparently i am being named as the sole instigator here and i just wanted to once and for all clear up this issue and my name. i’m honestly not sure if this person will see this post or if they’ll even accept it as truth. i can’t force them or anyone to believe me as i really don’t know what else i’d have to do to prove that i don’t have any other secret accounts other than making this post.

i will probably continue to be inactive on this account as i think it is in everyone’s best interest. i never wanted to contribute or start any drama in this fandom, but i feel like i am partially responsible in how this situation has turned out, so i would also like to apologize to you all as well. i’ve never had an account of mine get as big as this one has (thank you to everyone who liked and supported my silly little ramblings!) and i can honestly say i have had the best time interacting and fangirling with you all about this show and these characters that i love so much and i will continue to enjoy and love gen v and marie from afar!

goodbye for now,

rose (aka mariejordans)

[fairy-writes]

Congratulation! I would like to make an request for your event!

Song 27 "Take on the World - You and me at 6" with BSD Dazai 💙

TAKE ON THE WORLD

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing(s): Dazai Osamu x Gender Neutral!Reader

Song: Take on the World by You Me at Six

Notes: I’m taking some liberties with Dazai’s backstory because I genuinely cannot remember if they talked about a lot of it

Tags: Dazai-typical mentions of suicide,

__________________________________________________________________________

Just say the word, we'll take on the world

Just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst

Oh

It was always you and Osamu against the world. Even after all these years, it felt as if the world was against you, and it was only you two protecting each other.  

I can see, see the pain in your eyes

Oh, believe, believe me, and I have tried

No, I won't; I won't pretend to know what you've been through

You should know, I wish it was me, not you

You had met as children, you had been six, and Osamu was seven. You both lived at an orphanage, his parents having died in an accident a year prior and yours having been teenage parents who couldn’t handle a child at their age. 

He had been a loner, even as a child. 

He always sat in the corner under a tree whenever you played outside until, one day, you approached him. You slung your bug net over your shoulder and stood defiantly before him. He looked up from his small chapter book and scowled, 

“What do you want? You’re blocking my light.” He said, and you stubbornly huffed, 

“Come play with me!” You had said, and he shook his head,

“Go away.” He replied, and you tightened your grip on your bug net. 

“Nope! Sensei said I should play with you. So I’m gonna whether you like it or not.” 

You and Osamu ran away from the orphanage when you were twelve, and he was thirteen. Six years of fighting bullies when he wouldn’t because he just didn’t care about his well-being. But he fought them off for you if you were injured. He said it was because he didn’t like fighting, but you knew it was because he considered you a friend. 

The rest was history.

And just say the word, we'll take on the world

Just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst

Nobody knows you the way that I know you

Look in my eyes. I will never desert you.

And just say the word, we'll take on the world.

He tried to commit suicide for the first time when he was fourteen. And you blamed yourself. You should have seen the signs. You should have stopped him. 

A doctor named Mori Ogai had saved his life. And you had thanked him. 

In hindsight, you should have killed him when you had the chance. 

And it's the fight and the fight of our lives

You and I—we were made to thrive

And I am your future. I am your past

Never forget we were built to last

Step out of the shadows and into my life

Silence the voices that haunt you inside

You had joined Osamu in the Port Mafia because, of course, you did. It was always you and Osamu against the world. You and Osamu against the Mafia. But soon, that turned into you, Osamu, and Oda. 

At first, you were jealous, was Osamu replacing you? Was he getting rid of you? When you had brought this up to him, he had laughed, ruffled your hair, and pecked your forehead. 

“Of course not!” He had said, but you still saw that sad look in his eyes. The one that said he was alone and abandoned. The one that had been there—despite your best attempts—ever since his parents died.

And just say the word, we'll take on the world

Just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst

Nobody knows you the way that I know you

Look in my eyes; I will never desert you.

And just say the word, we'll take on the world, we'll take on the world.

As you got older, you followed Osamu out of the Port Mafia. After Oda died, he wasn’t the same. Instead, he put on a show, a facade that even you couldn’t crack. 

You joined the Armed Detective Agency, though you were a secretary rather than a person assigned missions. Osamu had teased you, but you knew he was happy you were out of danger. He always hated it when you went on Mafia missions without him, but he was always paired with Nakahara Chuuya. 

You thought you knew him. But as always, he kept secrets. He kept secrets of what he had done and seen in the Mafia. You knew Mori had done things to him, had changed him for the worst. 

But he was always gentle with you.

And nobody knows you the way that I know you

And nobody knows you the way that I know you

We'll fight, we'll crawl into the night

Our world. We'll go with you by my side

The calm, the storm, we'll face it all

It was always you and Osamu against the world. 

You protected him to the best of your ability. 

And he protected you in return. 

And just say the word, we'll take on the world

And nobody knows you the way that I know you

Look in my eyes. I will never desert you.

And just say the word, we'll take on the world, we'll take on the world.

[devoutvesta]

Hi there! I saw your post about Christian fans of epic on a Tumblr Blaze thingy. I’m really curious as to what you meant by it because it was a bit vague? I’m a Christian and I love greek mythology. I’ve studied it, heck I took a semester long course on mythology that went through multiple cultures. I love epic the musical and understand it’s not very accurate in most places. I’m just a bit confused is there any chance you could elaborate because I’m really interested in knowing!

it was definitely a targeted post! someone just happened to annoy me. if i blaze a post, it’ll be one of my helpol related posts once in a while in order to curate a following around that topic :) but in hindsight, i should have definitely blazed my aphrodite one instead D:

i did think some people might relate to it though, which is why i blazed it.

when participating in a greek myth/religion centered discussion, many people happen to be greek myth enthusiasts or those studying the topic at the university or grad school level. some of them are scholars, and some of those people happen to be fans of adaptations like tsoa or epic, or other greek myth inspired media. which is totally fine! i’m also a fan of epic :) i love adaptations, i think adaptations should be allowed to be inaccurate.

however, it can be difficult to have discussions with some of those people. they will bring their misconceptions from their fandom over into a completely different space, usually dominated by qualified educators (definitely NOT myself) or someone who just happens to have a bit more knowledge on the topic. they’ll want to participate in these discussions, without the nuances necessary to discuss these ancient stories and the deities they claim to be so interested in. i think their perspective on greek mythology and religion is narrow, and not one that many of us share, so they’re appalled at the idea of people worshipping gods such as zeus or apollo. and not only will they repeatedly ignore anything you have to say and insult you, but they’ll try to bully you as well. you can cite as many sources as you want, be as polite as you can, but there are always people out there in any online space who won’t be willing to listen :) and my question is, why join these discussions or online spaces geared towards a specific topic, if you aren’t willing to learn or speak politely? is it just to insult something you can’t understand?

ancient greek religion and ancient greek mythology both require a bit of research to understand, to say the least. and people not knowing everything is understandable, so that is not at all what i’m referring to. there are many things i want to learn about hellenic polytheism that i don’t yet understand. i’m sure there is always more to learn about a topic.

although, i don’t like their perspective, i’d rather they keep it within their own fandom, as these notions of the gods are exclusive to their favorite media. i guess, for example, making a post about a topic and including incorrect information, wouldn’t necessarily be bad if it was specifically for fans of their favorite game or musical or novel. but when you’re trying to draw in an audience of people outside of that area, and you get upset when one of them happens to mention something you disagree with or that doesn’t align with what you previously knew, maybe limit your use of tags to just that of your favorite musical.

[dramaqueeenamby]

Waves: Quarantine

A/N: It's been way too long since I've done something for the Wavesverse, and I apologize deeply. I have a few requests related to this series to complete, but I couldn't knock this idea.

Words: 4K

Warnings: None

Tags: @babe-im-bi @notacamelthatsmywife @missyperle @queenoftheworldisdead @tashawar @valkryienymph @letsshamelessqueen-m @hello-therree @mani-lifes @liquorlaughslove @toni9 @koko-michelle @theequeenofcurses @taylortheeshowpony

Waves

Summer placed her phone inside of the mount and made sure that it was secured before she sat back in her bed, getting comfortable with the mass of pillows supporting her back, and smiling tentatively. “Hi, guys.”

Summer!

Someone tell me this isn’t a joke???? Please???

She lives!

Sis, blink twice if you need help.

Summer rolled her eyes. “Ya’ll better stop. I know it’s been a minute since I’ve hopped on live, but it hasn’t been that damn long.”

Summer continued to read the comments where more than a few people pointed out she hadn’t gone live on Instagram in over three months. Her mouth dropped. “Ya’ll lying. It has not been almost six months, has it?” She placed her hand over her mouth when people started dropping dates in the comments. “Okay, I stand corrected. Damn, I’m sorry, guys.”

Don’t be sorry, bestie. Do better!

Damn, ya’ll are so entitled. Celebrities have lives too.

What life? We all been in quarantine.

Rich people quarantine be different from us poor folks, I guess.

“So that’s actually one of the things I wanted to talk about.” Summer cleared her throat. “And I’m going to try really hard to make sure I word what I want to say as clear and as effective as I can, but I know this is still going to end up as a salacious headline. So, it is what it is.”

Oooh, Summer about to drop some tea.

I don’t see her wedding ring, ya’ll…..

I’m scared omg.

Watch this be nothing but a role announcement.

She shrugged and took a deep breath. “Okay, so a few days ago, I did the Buss It challenge, after being harassed by Sanda. And can I just say that filming was a challenge in and of itself? Not necessarily the movements but preparing? I’ve got two kids, twins, who are like the Tasmanian devil. I was literally up at 3 something in the morning trying to record it because my wild children won’t let me be great.” She chuckled. “Kids are something else.”

Summer truly jumped through hoops and was a damn near acrobat trying to figure out when she could not only get herself done up but actually record the challenge. Being the perfectionist that she was didn’t help, but the fact that she couldn’t recall the last time she’d put on makeup and dressed up was a whole other fiasco.

Quarantine definitely brought out her bum side.

“All of that aside, I truly was satisfied and happy with the final product when I posted it. In hindsight, I should have just left it that, but I wake up every day and choose chaos, so I decided to read the comments.” She blew out a breath. “One of the most frequent comments and really, insults, I’ve received my whole career. Primarily, since I was cast as Storm, revolves around how I look. I.e., my weight. I’ve been called fat, obese, out of shape, and so many other things.”

It was 100% true. The minute Marvel announced that she’d been chosen to play Storm, the racists came all out of the woodworks. She was too short, too chubby, too dark, too black. And Summer didn’t care, not a bit.

“Even,—and I’ll tell you guys this, when I first started my SS training, that’s what I call it, SS for Storm Shape, there was a—person who worked for Marvel at the time who came to visit me while I was training.” She smiled thinking back on that day. She could still recall it so clearly. “He basically was pissed because to him, I still looked the same, fat and out of shape.” She adjusted her top and shifted in her bed. “That same day, I deadlifted and bench-pressed over 200lbs” She paused for effect. “What I need for people to stop doing is stop fucking projecting—and I’m going to cuss in this, so if you don’t like it, oh well. I work for Disney, but I’m a grown ass woman, and I’m going to say what I want.”

I am screaming. Summer said we getting alll the tea today!

So, it’s wrong to point out that someone is physically unhealthy now, cool?

The problem is that no one wants to see a fat superhero. It’s not realistic.

^^^^ Tell me you have a small dick without actually telling me you have a small dick.

“I saw Lizzo, whom I adore, post a Tik Tok where she basically said that she workouts to have the body she wants not what ya’ll want, and honestly? Same. She said that her body type is no one’s fucking business, and that’s so true. Ya’ll love to hop on this internet and pick apart people you don’t even know and criticize bodies you don’t even have to live in and move around with. And for what?” She shook her head, slamming her fist into her open palm as she spoke. She was fully invested now. “I know we in quarantine, but damn, pick another hobby cause being a bully is not it, sweetie.”

I really needed to hear this today.

Using Lizzo as a point of reference makes everything you’re saying null and void. Lizzo is clearly overweight and at risk for diabetes, heart disease, just to name a few…..

I been saying this! You can’t look at a person and say they’re unhealthy.

Bodies come in so many forms, and all are beautiful.

“Now, I bring all this up because a lot of people were commenting on my Buss It challenge and pointing out the fact that I’ve gained weight, and guess fucking what? I have, and you know what else?” She leaned over to whisper while covering her mouth with her hands for focused effect. “I don’t care.”

Summer laughed and shook her head. “As others have pointed out as well, yes, we have a gym in our house. I 1000% acknowledge the fact that having the resources that I do as a celebrity and someone who has money puts me in a different category. Hell, my husband has a whole fitness app. I recognize that. If I wanted to keep up with my workouts, emphasis on wanted, I could have. I own up to that, but I just didn’t feel like it, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is to send and leave mean messages calling me all kinds of names.”

Summer had thick skin. She always had. Growing up with her family, who always ensured to feed her self esteem and make sure she knew that she was beautiful, definitely paid off. It was just a combination of quarantine and not having a lot of opportunities to keep herself busy with work that had her feeling some type of way.

“And that’s something else I wanted to bring up.” She blew out another breath and tried to gather her emotions. This was the subject she was almost certain she’d grow teary eyed discussing. “I love my husband to death. My children are everything. Christopher’s family is like my own, but— I haven’t seen my family, like my mom, grandma, brothers, etc in almost a year.” She paused, dwelling on that. Almost an entire year since she’d been able to physically hug and interact with the people who made her who she was. “And I’ve always made it clear how much I fucking love my family. I live in Australia. I can’t do a drive by with grandma so I and my kids can at least see her on the doorstep.” She quieted again, eyes darting off as she quietly cursed. “I’m trying really hard not to cry right now.”

Please don’t cry, bestie.

This is the side of quarantine that people don’t talk about enough.

Has this woman never heard of FaceTime????

I feel her pain. I live in Europe, and my family is in the states. This quarantine has been brutal.

My grandma died from COVID, and I couldn’t even go to the funeral. Summer is bringing up a good point.

“Damn,” Summer chuckled bitterly and wiped at the tears that fell. “I’m okay, I promise. I just bring this up because quarantine has also been very hard for me in that aspect. At certain points, I’ve been down, I’ve been in my head a lot, and I just was not, for the most part, in a space where I felt like I had to keep up my fitness regimen. And that’s okay. I put my mental wellbeing ahead of making sure my body is socially acceptable. Sue me.”

I really appreciate her honesty.

Summer never goes beyond surface level in interviews, so seeing her this vulnerable is really surprising.

Are we supposed to feel bad for her? She’s rich. She can afford whatever help she needed.

These comments are not passing the vibe check.

Ya’ll are all mental health advocates, but when a black woman is opening up about her struggle, it’s discarded?

“And let me make this clear too, I have an amazing husband who is so patient and so kind. He’s one of the best people I can go to when my anxiety hits, so I don’t want this to come across as me complaining that I’ve been alone. I have him and our children. I just miss the rest of my family. That’s all.” She dried her eyes and started to read the comments, unsurprised by the mixed reaction. She expected as such and was unaffected. At least until she saw one comment.

@ChrisEvans: ❤️❤️❤️

“Evans!” Summer wasn’t expecting to see his name pop up. It’d been such a task convincing him to join IG, let alone teaching him how to operate it. “Let’s go live.”

Not my husband and wife in my head about to go live!!!!

Imagine being able to call Chris Evans your best friend

I still say they smashed idc

It’s Christopher Jamal Evans hopping on this live for me.

^^^ I’m so sick of y’all with that shit.

“Let me try to add him,” Summer spoke to herself, scrolling through the comments to find his so she could request him. “Alright, I requested him. Let’s see if he answers.”

She wondered if she should have sent him a text asking if he was available when he appeared on her screen, effectively splitting it with her on the top and him on the bottom.

“Punk.”

“Kid.”

Summer smiled and greeted, “Hi, best friend.”

He chuckled. “How you doing, Summer?”

“Clearly not as good as the people watching,” she chimed. Summer saw nothing but heart eyes and hearts in the comments. “These people really love you. You truly are a manipulative bastard. He’s an asshole, guys.”

“Don’t be jealous, Summer. It’s so unbecoming of you.”

“You can go to hell.”

“Language,” he playfully reprimanded. “Where are the kids?”

“At preschool. Things are finally starting to open back up over here. Thank God.” She clasped her hands together. “Y’all, please wear masks. Don’t be Karen’s.”

Chris laughed, grabbing his chest. “We’re getting there, Summer.”

“The lies you tell,” she countered. “Don’t A Starting Point, me. Ya’ll are far from getting there, and I’m tired of it. I wanna see my family.”

He sighed. “I know, but how are you feeling today?”

“I got rid of the kids, so that’s definitely a weight lifted,” she answered honestly, laughing when she saw judgmental comments in the chat. “Listen, if you’re a parent, you know where I’m coming from. You love your kids, but my god, sometimes you just need some space.”

“As soon as this all blows over, I told you to send em’ by me for a couple of weeks.”

“Best friend, I already purchased their tickets.” He laughed. “As soon as I get the green light, they are all yours. Feel free to keep them.”

“You guys see how she is?” He pointed to Summer, leaning and squinting to read what was being said. “I do love kids, especially the twins, they’re amazing.”

“He is really really great with them, guys,” Summer added. “One thing about Evans, he’s patient as hell and really, just a big kid. Why do you think him and Christopher get along so well? 40 going on 4.”

“I resent that.”

“Is it a lie though?”

He hesitated. “No.” They both laughed.

I’m loving the dynamic between these two so much.

Is it just me or are they flirting with each other…..

Ain’t nothing inappropriate about this conversation. Ya’ll are reaching…

Ya’ll remember that blind item that came out years ago alleging Chris (Evans) was the biological father of the twins? Hmm…..

^^^^^This kind of bullshit is the reason we’re in a global pandemic.

As always, Summer and Evans ignored any foolery that was being dropped in the comments when she caught a comment that didn’t contain some ridiculous rumor.

“Yes, it is true that Evans and Christopher weren’t allowed to do press together anymore. Ya’ll, they literally could not stay serious for more than a minute. I felt so bad for the poor interviewers.”

“Hey, we were not that bad,” Evans protested, his Boston accent more prominent.

She gasped. “You guys were terrible, Evans, and you know it. I was so mad when they put me with ya’ll those few times. I could barely hear the interviewers over your laughing and stupid commentary that literally no one asked for.”

“We did not.”

“There’s deadass video proof, Evans.”

“Fake news.”

She opened her mouth but caught herself. “I was about to say something.”

He laughed and asked, “Do you remember how we all got drunk before the Infinity War premiere?”

“No, ya’ll got drunk. I was big and pregnant, remember?”

“No,” he dismissed. “You were drinking with us.”

“Evans, how was I drinking when I was pregnant?” She challenged and reminded. “I got drunk with ya’ll for the Endgame premiere, not Infinity War.”

“That’s right,” he remembered and chuckled. “You think we’ll get in trouble for saying this?”

She shrugged with one shoulder. “You’re dead, Christopher never gets in trouble for anything, and I do what I want. I think we’re good.”

Kevin Feige watching this live right now like 🥴🥴🥴🥴

I never realized how arrogant she is……

LMAO. Not the whole cast showing up drunk to the biggest premiere of their lives.

Chris Evans is too damn fine to be approaching 40 and still single.

Their friendship is so goals omg

@ChrisHemsworth: Snitches

Summer’s jaw dropped as she caught the last comment, swiping up to click the name and make sure that she was reading correctly. “Christopher, what the hell are you doing on my live?”

Evans brows furrowed. “Hemmy is here? Shouldn’t he be working?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Summer supplied. “And how long have you been watching?”

@ChrisHemsworth: Long enough.

She smiled nervously and looked off to the side. “I feel weird now. I don’t like when he watches my lives.”

“Aren’t you guys married?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be shutting the fuck up?”

Evans lifted his hands in a defensive manner. “Touchy subject, I see.” They shared another laugh as he cleared his throat. “Why don’t you add him now? I’m supposed to be helping Scott cook.”

“My favorite Evans,” she gushed and furrowed her brows. “You, cooking? Since when?”

“Get out of here.” He waved her off and reminded. “I’m not the one who constantly causes near fires when in the kitchen.”

“So, you really just putting all my business out there like that?”

“Summer, it’s not secret to anyone that you can’t cook for shit.”

“Wow, it really be your own best friends.”

He chuckled. “Love you, kid.”

“Love you too, punk,” she blew a kiss. “I’ll text ya’ later.”

“Alright.” He smiled for the camera. “Thanks for having me everyone.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said jokingly. Evans and Summer said goodbye one last time before he left the live. She blew out a breath and ran her hand through her hair. “Baby, comment something so I can add you. It’s too many comments to wade through.”

Summer adjusted her phone and checked the time on the clock on the wall. It’d been a while since the kids were away at school, and she didn’t want to get so caught up that she was late picking them up.

@ChrisHemsworth: I can’t. I’m too drunk.

Summer released a mixture of a laugh and a snort reading his comment. “You are so damn petty.” She clicked his name and adjusted her outfit while waiting for him to answer. She almost cursed when it seemed like he wasn’t going to join, only for her to smile when his face appeared on her screen.

“Hi,” she greeted in a soft voice with a small smile.

“Hello, Sandcastle.”

“Did you just—I swear to god, it’s always something with you.” Summer rubbed her temples and shook her head. Christopher smiled in response. “Why aren’t you working?”

“I am.”

“You are?”

“Yes.”

“If you’re working, how are you talking to me?” She asked, sassily.

“Umm, a little thing called multitasking, ever heard of it?”

“Wow. You are an asshole.”

“That’s mean.”

“You’re mean.”

“Christopher, you are literally a child.”

“Does a child have muscles like this?” He flexed, and Summer stilled. Christopher stayed in ridiculous shape, but this was another level. He’d never been this massive, and she wasn’t too proud to admit that. Just not aloud.

She faked a yawn. “Am I supposed to be impressed?”

They really just be roasting each other all the time, and I’m here for it.

Summer must be legally blind because this man is stupid fine tf

It’s gotta be steroids. That’s not natural.

^^^^^He’s the god of thunder.

Summer rolled her eyes at the typical nature of the comments. These were the reasons she limited her time on social media and especially stayed away from reading the comments. Her attention was redirected to the top of her phone. It was a text from Christopher asking her to call him.

“But we’re—oh, I get it.” She realized he wanted to talk to her, not her and her tens of millions of followers. “Alright, guys, I’m gonna get off here so I can talk to my husband, alone.”

“She just doesn’t want to share me with you all, that’s all.”

“Don’t even start, Christopher,” she lectured while he laughed and got serious, for a minute tops.

“Hope you all are taking care and staying safe,” he spoke honestly. “And we’ll talk to you soon.”

Summer waved and smile. “Bye, guys. Remember to be kind.” Summer offered a final smile before ending the live. Closing up the app, she moved to open FaceTime and called up Christopher. He answered almost immediately. “You know I hate when you watch my Lives. Now, how much did you see?”

“Enough to know you’re coming to see me tonight.”

She laughed aloud. “Funny.”

“I’m serious, Summer.” Focusing on him, she realized that there was no humor in his voice nor his expression. Summer also noticed that he didn’t have the Thor wig on yet, which was probably why he was able to go live with her. He was waiting to get into hair and makeup. “Leave the kids with Liam. It’s not like he’s doing anything.”

“Christopher!”

“What? Is he not a professional unemployed bastard.”

Summer’s smile remained as she shook her head. “You are so mean.”

“I’ll handle the flight arrangements. You, my beautiful wife, just make sure you get on the jet so I can handle you.”

“Christopher, you’re working. People with everyday jobs don’t just up and show up to their spouses workplace because they miss them or need a break from the kids. That’s how folks get fired.”

Christopher started to move around, walking somewhere, she realized. “What are you doing?”

“Hey, Tike.”

Summer’s eyes widened slightly. “Christoper!”

“Sup, man?” Taika asked casually, as Summer laughed again. Taika Waititi was such a character.

“You mind if Summer comes up for a few days?”

“Sure, man,” he replied almost right away. “Bring the kids and chickens too.”

“I am not bringing those damn chickens,” she immediately protested.

Christopher made a sound. “Ha, so you are coming!”

“I didn’t say that.”

Taika joined Christopher so that he was in camera. “Hey, Summer, why don’t you come on join? You can have a cameo. Chickens, too.”

She rubbed her temples. Taika’s and Chris’s friendship would never not make sense to her. They were cut from the same cloth. “One, hey. Two, I was already in Ragnarok. I’m good on the cameos. Three, what is with ya’ll and those creepy looking chickens?”

“Whoa, creepy? What did the chickens ever do?”

“Exist,” Summer answered dryly. She still hadn’t forgiven Evans and Christopher for convincing her to let the kids keep those damn things. Her home was becoming more and more of a farm with each animal that joined the household.

“Tough crowd, that one, ehh?”

“Always,” Christopher agreed.

“I can hear you both,” she reminded and groaned loudly. Summer would love to spend a few days away from the kids. Chris would be working, yes, but she’d at least get some time for herself. Even better, alone adult time with her husband. That had also been a bit tricky during quarantine because of her rambunctious twins. Still, she disliked using her status as a celebrity to gain things, and this would definitely be a case of using status for pull. “I don’t know….”

Deep in her thoughts, she hadn’t realized that Chris had walked away and returned to wherever he was prior to finding Taika, most likely his trailer.

“What if you only stayed a night?” Chris tried to bargain. “The flight is only an hour and a half. That will give you more than enough time to come here, let me fix you dinner, run you a nice bath, maybe get in the good ole’ horizontal tango—”

“You know I hate when you call it that,” she reminded quietly, admitting. “That does sound nice, though.”

“Or, I can come to you—“

“Absolutely not. Christopher, you’re already doing so much back and forth as it is.” One of the good things to come out of quarantine, to Summer at least, was that it forced many people to take a much needed break. Her husband was one of those people. Christopher had been working nonstop since she met him. Project after project, film after film, many of them Marvel films, which put a whole other layer of difficulty what with the strenuous physical requirements. Even now as he shot Thor 4, he was in the best shape he’d ever been, muscles nearly tearing the cotton of his clothes. He looked amazing, but it was what they couldn’t see that she was starting to grow a little concerned over. Christopher wasn’t as young as he once was. He had to slow down, eventually.

Summer realized this would be a perfect chance to have a conversation about just that with him, which all but led her to her final decision.

“Alright,” she conceded, finger up as she made her demands. “Three days, and I stay at the house while you shoot. We may be returning to normal, but we’re still in a pandemic. I won’t go around anyone except you.”

“So I get you all to myself? Hardly consider that a stipulation.”

“And…we talk.”

“After the horizontal tango—“

“I swear to God, if you don’t stop calling it that—“

“What was that, sweetheart? I wasn’t listening.” She saw that he had paused the screen, causing Summer to remember that she hadn’t even consulted with the babysitter. “Making flight arrangements for you.”

“Shit, let me text Liam and make sure he’s available.”

“He gets reception in the box?”

“Christopher! For the last time, your brother is not living in a box.”

“Do you know that for certain?”

“Goodbye, Christopher,” she prepared to end the call before smiling softly. “I love you, Christopher, and thank you.”

He winked. “I’ll always do anything for you, Summer. Anything.” A beat. “Don’t forget to leave the clothes. You won’t need them.”

“Christopher!”

[maliciouslycreative]

How I played damage control to an anti in a small anime fandom and may have led to her ultimate downfall

I know I had a really nice write up of this at one point but oh well. I’ll spill more of the tea in this one because honestly the tea was so hot.

There are a few things that I have to give context to first. Gaia online was like THE mega forum of the 2000s, you made a little avatar and through posting and doing other activities on the forum you made money to buy clothes for your avatar. There were forums for everything but the fannish portions were really what drew in most of the people. The anime I was into was Beyblade. It was a shonen anime about fighting with tops that were possessed by the spirits of magical creatures. The story was honestly pretty average but the characters were fantastic and the fandom is to this day still one of my favourites. The series had a primarily male cast and didn’t even have a female lead until the second season. This led to the fanfic for the English fandom being about 70% canon/OC, 10 % canon m/f, and 20% slash. The most popular character in the English fandom was by far Kai Hiwatari, the loner badboy of the team.

Also before we get started I would like to add that one of my best friends was neck deep in this and the two of us were more or less fandom married. This is the same friend that I fake dated, had feelings for, and she nearly got me into kpop in 2011 so like if you haven’t read that story please read it too because it will give you a good idea of how stupid I am and how much of a fanfic I have truly lived. 

To set the stage I was 16, soon to be 17 when I joined the fandom and it was 2004. In September of that year I wrote a humour longfic that became an absolute smash hit and I found myself somehow fandom famous. It was around this time that I joined Gaia online. I made my little avatar and immediately went looking for the beyblade thread so that I could make new friends. I found the main thread, made my little introduction and at the end of it mentioned that I was a slash writer but I supported all ships. This is where I met C. She had declared herself the authority on Beyblade in these parts and I had just committed the crime of mentioning slash which was very obviously not canon and we did not discuss in this thread because we only discussed canon things. I was like well that’s a bit severe but like sure whatever I just want to hang out and have fun. 

Oh boy did I have no idea what I was in for. 

C was a year older than me and unfortunately that made her older than the majority of the fans at the time. Her favourite character was Kai, and she was not shy about talking about this fact. She stanned Kai above all other characters, and often at their expense. She was also a fanfic writer of a popular canon/OC series. Actually, she was so full of herself that she didn’t even call herself a fanfic writer, no her stories were in fact novels and were apparently very good. I never read them. But more on that later. 

Eventually the slash fans got tired of her being rude to us in the general thread so we made a Beyblade slash thread. There was a core of like 8 or so of us and we honestly had sooo much fun. When C would be too unbearable in the main thread the people from there used to come over to our thread and we’d chat with them about non slash stuff because we were honestly all multishippers and just wanted to have fun. We’d get comments like “wow, I’ve had more pleasant canon het ship discussions in the slash thread than the regular thread”. We never worried about C coming over and getting upset about comments like this because she refused to be associated with anything related with slash lmao. 

I tried my best to keep the peace between C, myself, and the rest of the fandom because ultimately I hate being in fandom drama. I just want everyone to have a good time. I’m a people pleaser. Unfortunately my newfound fame put me in the awkward position of being the most fandom popular person in our small community aside from C. Virtually every fan that read fanfics that came into our thread knew one of us or the other by reputation and C HATED this. Especially because people would come in to the thread, recognise me and go “oh my goodness I love your fanfics!” and I’d be super sweet with them and it’d lead into “I can’t believe how nice you are, I love you” which would lead to us crying at each other. This was not the kind of fan interaction that C got, no her fans were more kind that were there to praise her and worship her like a deity that had blessed them with some gift. Rarely did they tell her how kind she was. 

Back in the mid 2000s there were really commonly those commercials (usually by Christian organisations) asking people to sponsor say children in Africa or to help build schools or provide drinking water. You all probably know the ones; know the language that they used in those commercials. My fandom wife, who I suppose I shall call wifey because yes we were THAT couple back then, once said that C described her fics like those people described donating money to save the lives of Children in Africa. So we used to joke that her fics were so good they’d save lives in Africa. Looking back at it all, she almost had a very fundamentalist Christian approach to bringing people into her fanfics. She of course tried to get all the slash people into reading it. None of us read canon/oc fic mostly due to our poor treatment at the hands of their fans and creators. Getting fed up I one day told her that if she would read any one of my fanfics that I would read the entirety of her novels. Yes, I was willing to commit to read a couple 100k of canon/oc fanfic that I’d never touch normally if she would even read one of my 1k 1 shots. Heck, I had a fic even that shipped 2 minor characters so she didn’t even have to sully herself reading about one of the main characters. It was honestly a good deal in her favour. I kept this up until the day we all left the fandom. Sometimes I do wonder if her fics were even ¼ as good as she claimed, but I will never know because she refused to read my fics. 

She wasn’t all bad and a tyrant all the time. As long as people kept the conversations on track and didn’t come in to the thread saying things like “KAI IS SO HOT ND T3H BEST N I AM GUN 2 MARRY HIM” she stayed mostly civil. It was always hilarious watching InuYahsa or Naruto fans try to come in and bad mouth Beyblade because they’d unleash the dragon and C was great at chasing off undesirables in the thread. 

The real apex of goings on though on Gaia was the guild drama. So guilds were like exclusive themed mini forums within Gaia. Anyone could buy one and run it however they want, as long as it still adhered to Gaia’s ToS. C of course was the owner of the only Beyblade guild. The fandom wasn’t really big enough to support 2 guilds so we just kind of let it go. Technically she allowed people to post slash fanfics but like everything had to be explicitly tagged and there was absolutely no slash RP. Wifey and I controlled a handful of minor characters together in the forum RP and definitely used to try to push the boundaries a little bit. Some ambiguous flirting here, a stray comment there. It was such a fragile balance though because C was heavy on the ban button. The active portion of the guild was just people that were in the cult of C and worshipped her writing. 

Understandably the other slash fans and myself were getting disheartened by this. So we pooled our funds together and decided that we’d open a second guild that though it was run by slash fans we would welcome anyone into our ranks. We just wanted to have a fun place for everyone to hang out, and to hopefully run a few events out of. In hindsight, we should have seen what would happen. When we opened the guild, with me as the guild leader, it was like somebody blew up the whole dam protecting the delicate ecosystem we had cultivated. Every single person in the Gaia fandom that was not a zealous follower of C applied to be in our guild and left her guild. We of course figured that we’d attract some of the gen population but we did not expect to accidentally poach all of it. All of the moderators were getting messages from people thanking us for giving them a place where they could say whatever they wanted without fear of getting their faces ripped off or banned. 

C lost her shit. She was so mad that we went behind her back to ruin her guild. We literally had to show her posts in the very public slash thread that we had been planning this in public and that it was not to ruin her life. We just wanted a place where we could freely post slash. The two of us had some spicy comments back and forth and then she dropped an absolute bombshell on me. Since Gaia’s mail system is terrible I unfortunately no longer have exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of “Ok, you win. I’m going to close my guild.”. Us slash fans had never been doing this to win anything. We had never been competing. We just wanted a safe space to be ourselves. 

C never joined our guild. The fandom slowly faded out within the next year anyway. We weren’t getting new content so naturally people just drifted into other fandoms. C kept up with the main Beyblade thread for a lot longer than most of us but eventually that eventually faded into obscurity too. 

I learned a lot about fandom bullies from those days. But honestly the thing that stuck with me the most out of everything was that if you provide a positive safe space for people they will flock to it. It may seem like there are so many hostile people out there, but there really aren't. They're the minority but they just make sure that their voice is the loudest. The best way is to ignore them and just do your own thing. The bullies just want attention and if you don’t give it to them and prove to them that their opinion doesn’t matter to you then they’ll move in and find something else to yell at. 

[mvnvgedmischief]

unremarkable days.

summary: sirius black is trying to be a good man, a good brother, a good person. Sirius has a steady job designing book covers for a publishing house, a flat he never leaves, and a traumatized brother who was just removed from the custody of his parents. All in all, it's wildly unremarkable.

chapter:  5/?

characters: sirius black, regulus black, wolfstar, background marauders

tags: tw: canon compliant abuse, child abuse, social services, abuse, eating disorders

read it on ao3 here

read the last chapter here

words: 4.2k

Sirius felt his mind whirring, as usual. God, it was so hard for him to be normal, to cope with the stress and the frustration and the exhaustion. He didn’t know how he was meant to. He remembered just a month ago, when Alice told him he should take a parental leave. Six weeks off he could have had if he wanted them. But he wanted to keep his trajectory undisputed. It was a mistake, in hindsight. He didn’t know then just how difficult his parents would make things. He didn’t know then what he knew now. He would have said “fuck it” to his trajectory if he would’ve been able to sleep. After all, it was the only thing he really wanted. It was the only thing, other than Regulus’s safety. 

He knew that he couldn’t do anything about this Remus situation. It was too dangerous. If he did something, he didn’t want it coming out in court. If he didn’t, Remus would probably never approve a design again. At least, not from him. So he chose to do what anyone would in his position. He called Marlene and looped in Alice. The calendar invite specified the meeting would begin in twenty minutes. He had titled it “Team Touchbase: The Girls are Talking Shit Again” in hopes to lighten the mood. However, there was no way that it would work. Not with the conversation he was about to have. 

He found himself breathing deeply. Trying to muster the courage to do this. They would be upset. He was sure of it. Especially when it was something this earnest, this niche and close to his chest. But Sirius didn’t have any other choice. Not as far as he could tell. So instead, he made plans for all of the inevitable ways they would try to convince him not to do this. But his mind was already made up. There was no going back now. Not when he was already this committed to the decision. 

“I need to be dropped from this project.” He doesn’t even bother with pleasantries. “Alice, please take me off of this project.”

The scoff caught him off guard. In all the time he had spent working closely with Marlene, she had never scoffed at him. Then again, he’d never asked to be taken off either. “You’re gonna let one bad meeting get to you? It’s not that big of a deal, Sirius.” Marlene was looking at him expectantly. As though she expected him to realize that he was wrong and laugh about it. 

“They’ll all be bad. I need to be dropped from the project.” He stated it like a fact. Maybe because to him, it was one. He just kept repeating it because if he said it enough times maybe they would just believe him and drop him from this book, and this chaos.

“What happened in your meeting earlier? I feel like I’m playing catch up.” It really wasn’t fair to Alice that she didn’t know. But Sirius didn't feel like explaining. 

“Sirius wants to get dropped from the poetry book.”

“But—“ Alice paused. She looked like she was sussing something out. “But aren't those your favorite pet projects?” 

“Yeah, but—” 

“So what’s the problem? “ Marlene cut him off again, and Sirius was beginning to lose his will to do this. He knew he couldn’t just not show up to meetings, but it would show them he needed to be taken off this project. 

“Alice, I have so many projects right now where the author doesn’t hate me. I don’t really have the time to be on a project where he does.” He wasn’t even acknowledging Marlene right now, because she clearly didn’t understand. why he wanted to be taken off. And that was okay, he didn’t mind, as long as he could get off this project. 

Marlene and Alice were good people. They weren’t going to make him do this when he reminded them of how much he was doing, how much weight he was actually pulling. He was sure of it. 

“Bullshit. He doesn’t hate you.”

Well that wasn’t what he anticipated. 

Marlene wasn’t having this. She began to extrapolate on her point, and Sirius was only half listening. “He thinks you’re cool and intimidating, Sirius. He was trying not to feel small. It might not be your style to take that on, but he doesn’t hate you and you know it.” Marlene seemed really keen on keeping him on this project. Sirius wondered why for a moment, but he couldn’t be sure. He didn't know how hard she worked to put him on this account in the first place. 

“Marlene, I don’t know how else to tell you this, but,” he could feel his tone rising. He was starting to get upset. “I don’t have the luxury of time right now to redo the last week of work by myself. Especially when he wants it by today. I don’t have the fucking time. All because he doesn’t like me. I don’t have the time. Take me off the fucking project.” 

“I’m sorry what? What even happened in this meeting?” Sirius wished she had just been there. He wished she watched it happen, because the idea of going through all of the gory details all over again made his skin crawl. 

“Her,” It was probably unfair to place that much emphasis on the word, as though it was Marlene’s fault, “client told me to start over, and when I asked him for any feedback, he essentially told me that if I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it that I should be out of a job.” 

“You’re being dramatic, Sirius! He didn’t say that! He just said that–” She paused, and Sirius assumed it was because that was exactly what Remus had said. “that you were the artist, not him.”

“Marlene, we don’t let our junior designers take project lead most of the time. I know you really wanted him on this project, but one of the reasons that junior designers don’t lead projects is because a team of two designers on one project is less likely to get bullied. Start cc’ing me on all your emails, I’ll be overseeing this project. “ Alice was speaking with conviction and grace, something Sirius knew he lacked.  He knew that lacking in that made him hard to root for, but he didn’t care. 

“Can I clear out my schedule from these meetings? I really don’t want to even look at them anymore.” He wished he didn’t sound like a kicked puppy right now.

“No.” Alice affirmed, “You are not about to let a client bully you out of your job. Besides, I’m overseeing this project, and this relationship. If you’re not there, there is no relationship.” She really had an air about her that made her hard to question. Sirius wished he had that. 

With that, the conversation was over. Neither Marlene nor Sirius look satisfied, but Alice has provided her mentee as good of a solution as he was probably going to get right now. And effectively Marlene got what she wanted. Sirius was still on the project. 

“Both of you, take the day to cool off. I’ll be getting in touch with the client later today to make sure that our client relationship terms are actually being upheld. Something tells me he didn’t read them.” 

Sirius nodded numbly. He felt emotionally tapped out. There was no way that this was going to work. How was he supposed to juggle all of this, on top of his already stressful life. So instead, he logged off, like Alice suggested. He was not going to be logging back on any time soon. He could practically guarantee that. 

Sirius found his way to the couch, with its ever inviting comfort. All of the coziness of falling asleep, none of the bedroom associated trauma. That was definitely a bonus. Falling asleep on the couch always seemed far safer than falling asleep in his bed. There was less likelihood of nightmares, less anxiety, less flashbacks. It was a wonder Sirius ever made it to bed. Today, he didn’t. He sat on the sectional, curling himself into a small ball in the corner, and turned on something low intensity. He put on a documentary series about penguins, which felt like it would be soothing, and before he knew it, he was asleep. 

He was lucky when he logged out of his email, it auto populated his Out of Office message. Or at least, usually he thought that. Today he would have rather died, then have that functionality turned on. Because he was sure it was what prompted Remus to wake him from his peaceful nap with a call. 

Well, peaceful was a strong word. It definitely had its own fair share of thrashing, but Sirius would take thrashing and nightmares he couldn’t remember over this phone call. He dreads it until he slides the accept call button.

“Sirius Black.” He begins, because what is there to say. His voice sounded thick with exhaustion. He could hear it.

“We need to get that meeting on the calendar.” Didn’t Remus know he could just send a calendar invite? This remote thing wasn’t nearly as complicated as he made it out to be. 

“I’m out of office Remus.” His tone was dripping with contempt. He didn’t want this. He wanted to sleep. 

“You’re always out of office. You never answer when i call you, it’s fucking nutty how hard I have to work to get you on the phone.” 

“It wouldn’t be if you could just check the google calendar or get your nose out of my business.” Sirius didn’t know he was feeling this spicy today. But apparently, he was enjoying controlled confrontation.  

“i don’t think that’s—“ 

“Stop asking people why I’m not in office. It’s none of your business.” He wasn't pulling any punches right now. He was going to get this man off of his back. “It’s fucking weird. I don’t know you.”

“I was just–“ Remus wasn’t going to get a word in edgewise. Sirius wasn’t going to let him. 

“And for that matter, it shouldn’t matter whether or not I’m remote. It seems to bother you so much, but you were the one who tried to put me on the project. You were the one who asked Marlene about it. I’ve been remote since before you got picked up, it’s not news to anyone else on the team. It’s weird that you’re so concerned with me.”

“You were the one who—“

“That was a big fucking mistake.” Sirius spit in response. Sure, he wanted to see Remus again when he had asked him on that date. But putting it all in perspective, he couldn’t do that. And he didn’t like that Remus was pressing everyone for the details of his personal life. He would rather cut this off here, not risk the court date and the details being aired out. Especially not since they could be used to take Regulus from him. He couldn’t risk it. 

“What was the point of it then? Why’d you ask me and then pull this?” Remus’s voice sounded small. Like he was going to cry. 

“I liked you until you started prying into my life. I don’t need more people running around trying to dig up information on me.” Sirius shouldn’t have said that. He felt it in his chest, but he couldn’t take it back now. He practically wants to scream, you could have just waited, I would have explained. But he could not do that, because it definitely wasn’t true. 

“Oh.” That’s all Remus said, before he clicked the phone off and hung up. 

Sirius didn’t have the time to think about that. He just didn’t. While six months ago he would have spiralled out of control thinking about what that short “oh” meant, but he couldn’t spend that time right now. Shit. What time even was it? He checked the time when his eyes began to focus again, and took a moment to try to collect himself. It was half past five, and he had no time because Regulus would be home from football in twenty minutes and Sirius needed to have dinner on the table. So he jumped off of the couch, and tore from the living room area into the kitchen. What was he even going to make? How would he even pull this together? 

He was moving at a speed he wasn’t sure he even possessed these days. He was running through what he could make mentally, trying not to come up with anything that would wear on him too heavily or signal a lack of effort to Regulus. It was a fine line that he walked every night. When food was too terrifyingly bland, too ashen in his mouth, and too overwhelming to his mind, how did he settle on something comforting for his brother? And on top of that, he needed to be quick.  He was running out of time.  He grabbed a jar of pasta sauce that he had made earlier in the week, and a box of spaghetti, and hoped that this would be enough. It wasn’t good enough to stand up to the chefs in the Black family home, but then again, he didn’t think Regulus wanted that anyways. 

When Regulus finally walked through the door, Sirius was almost done cooking. He had meatballs in a pan, the pasta was strained, and the sauce was warm. Maybe this would be enough. Maybe he would have done enough for them to just enjoy dinner, and have a normal night. 

“Hey, Siri.” Regulus looked calm for the first time in a long time. Hopefully tonight would be a good night. Hopefully they could have a normal meal, laugh and smile and have a good time. It would be nice. 

“Hey, Reg.” Sirius replies, putting together a bowl for his younger brother. He wanted so badly to just let things be normal. He puts one together for himself as well, and brings them over to the table.  If he needed to do it, he would. He didn’t want to be anything other than a positive force in Regulus’s life. He didn’t want to cause problems for him. “How was school?” 

Regulus looks up, god, when did his eyes start looking so sad. Where did the light he used to have in his eyes go? Had Sirius really missed so much  of his life? “School was fine. Kind of long. They sent me  to the  social worker today. Grilled me on what it was like living with you.”

Sirius felt his eyes go wide. Sure, it wasn’t surprising that they did, but still, it terrified him. 

“I told them everything was awful, obviously.” Regulus chuckled, and for a moment, Sirius’s heart dropped. However, in a moment, he was laughing right along with Regulus. Of course it was a joke. He hadn’t told them that, because he didn’t want to go back. Sirius was terrified of anyone taking Regulus, but Regulus seemed to be terrified of being taken away. At least today, he seemed to be. “I told them it’d be easier to get acclimated if someone stopped mum and dad from taking us to court all  the time.” That statement was smaller, more fearful. It was as if Regulus was afraid he had done something wrong. 

“Mate, I–” Sirius began, but Regulus stopped him, “Siri you can’t stop them. You don’t need to apologize to me.” 

That sentence could have made him crumble. It probably would have, if they weren’t interrupted by a knock at the door.  Sirius felt himself jump, and he watched Regulus do the same. God, Sirius wished they weren’t so fucking damaged. He wished that any noises that they didn’t know was coming didn’t startle them.  He wished they hadn’t been conditioned to be afraid for so many years. But then the key is clicking into the lock, and  Sirius is jumping up. He  doesn’t want this right now. He can’t do this right now. He knows it’s Jamie as soon as the sound of the tumblers click into place.  So he walked over  to the door with speed and a mission. He would keep them out of his home if he could help  it,  because he couldn’t do this tonight. They needed a calm night at home, a night of peace and family time, and Regulus was shifting uncomfortably  in the chair. 

“Jamie, you can’t  be here.”  Sirius began, before he even opened the door. 

“Mate, you didn’t come to the family dinner. We wanted to see you, so we came  to you,” James laughed and when Sirius looked around, it was the team. Including Remus. 

“No,” Sirius puts his foot behind the door,  holding it closed with only  his head poking out. 

“But Sirius it’s been forever since anyone’s seen you,” Peter called from behind him.  

“No, lads. Go home. It’s a school night.”  Sirius wasn’t budging. In fact, he was pleading.

“You don’t have a kid.” Remus called, clearly looking bitter. Sirius wanted to scream that he didn’t know what he’s talking about, because he didn’t.

“Go home, guys. You can’t come in. It’s a school night.” He repeated. They couldn’t. He didn’t want Reg to be so uncomfortable, which he clearly was. 

“Fine.” James looked irritated. Sirius understood why. He understood that he had forgotten the plans James made, but at the same time, he couldn’t juggle this right now. He didn’t have the time for all of this. He knew he had been MIA from his friend’s lives, but this wasn’t forever. It was just until he was done with all of these hearings. Just until his parents would stop. Just until Regulus felt more comfortable. Just until the chaos ended. 

Sirius returned from the door, and sat down at the table again. He didn’t really care to talk about it, but his brother looked so guilty that he felt like he had to. 

“They could’ve come in. I would’ve eaten in my room.” His eyes welled with tears, and he looked so deeply uncomfortable. 

“Reg, this is your house. Not theirs.”  Sirius responded with as much authority  as he could muster, but he definitely didn’t want to scare him. He didn’t want to seem like his parents, he didn’t want to behave the way that they did ever. It was a fine line to walk, and he knew it would get harder when he needed to put his foot down, be a disciplinarian in any way. But for right now, that wasn’t a concern of his. Right now he was much more focused on making this a welcoming environment. It needed to be comfortable for him before they could handle anything else.  

“It’s your house, you can have people over if you want.” Regulus’s voice sounded thick with concern, laced with guilt. Sirius was terrified that he was royally screwing this whole thing up. He wanted to be a good brother, a good guardian, a support system. “I don’t wanna cause problems.” There it was, the sentence before the crumble.  Sirius could see it coming, because it was like looking into the past. Regulus reminded him of himself so much that it hurt sometimes. 

“Reg, mate,”  he started, and then he stood up (and pretended that he wasn’t seeing stars). “You aren’t causing problems,” in just a moment, he was beside his younger brother and his arm was wrapped around the teen’s shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re here. All I’ve ever wanted is to get you out of there. I just couldn’t before. The council wouldn’t let me.” 

“But– but–” Reg was stuttering and spiralling, “If I wasn’t here they wouldn’t be taking us to court all the time, there wouldn’t be private investigators, you wouldn’t have to worry.” His words felt like burns on Sirus’s skin. It felt like a vice gripped his heart, and all he wanted to do was support his brother.  All he wanted was for everything to finally be okay. 

“Reg, look at me.” Sirius’s calloused hand gently pulled his brother’s shoulder to face him. “I want you here. I have wanted you here since I left. I missed having my kid brother around, alright?” 

“Oh,” Reg responded, but he had already become despondent and detached. He wasn’t coming back from the stress and the emotional turmoil tonight. Sirius understood. He had been like that when he first left. Hell, he was still like that. He didn’t have the energy to do for himself what he had done for Regulus, by getting him the best treatment he could, and making sure to keep him together. He was trying to do for Regulus what Euphemia and Monty had done for him. He knew that he wasn’t measuring up to them, but he was trying. He knew that he had taken for granted what they had done, he was re-engaging in behaviors that weren’t healthy for him. Things they had worked so hard to pull him out of. But he was trying, and he didn’t have the time to take care of all of those old behaviors that had flared up. He didn’t have the energy to work on himself, when he had all of this going on. 

Shortly thereafter, Regulus decided to go to bed. Sirius understood, it had been a lot of effort to go to school, and footie, and deal with the stress of Sirius’s friends showing up out of nowhere. And Sirius was thankful in a way, because he was about to rip into James for doing this again. He should know better. Within minutes, he was ringing James and seething. He can barely wait until the phone is done ringing to start going in on him.

“Jamie, you can’t fucking do that to me.” He began, “You can’t just bring people to my fucking house, especially not people who don’t know what is going on. I can’t have people over– they have a fucking PI looking into me, documenting everyone who’s here, when they’re here. I can’t have a bunch of people over on a fucking school night! They’re going to try to take him from me over the smallest fucking thing, let alone having several twenty somethings over in the middle of the week out of nowhere!” He was not even taking a moment to breathe, “How could you fucking do that to me? Why do you want to help them?  I can’t even fucking leave my house without being fucking interrogated about it every two weeks in court! You can’t bring people here!” He reached up to push his curly black hair out of his eyes, and he realized that he was crying. He was really caught off guard by it. 

James waited a moment, before responding. James was always much better about keeping his cool than Sirius had ever been, and if he was honest, Sirius appreciated it. He appreciated that James kept it together when he couldn’t. “Sirius, I didn’t know. I don’t want you to get him taken from you. I’m sorry.”

“Jamie they can’t do it– they can’t take him– I can’t let them–” Now it was Sirius’s turn to spiral. The anger had subsided, and all that was left was his fear. He was terrified that he was going to lose his brother again, and he couldn’t handle that. 

“Siri– a judge would have to be mad to take him from you.” While that might have been true, it didn’t quell Sirius’s fears. 

“They have so much money, Jamie. They have so much power. They can do whatever they want and get away with it. It doesn’t matter if it’s legal.” Sirius wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. He was so terrified, and there was nothing that anyone could do to make this less terrifying. It was almost terrifying just how much power the Black family actually held. Sirius wasn’t sure that he could do enough to stand up to them. 

“I’m worried about you, Pads.” James let out a sigh, it seemed like this was a conversation he was dreading having. “You’re alone all the time. You never go anywhere. You’ve been lashing out at people— Pads, I can’t remember the last time it was this bad.” He sounded almost as terrified as Sirius felt. 

“I see them more now than I have in years, Prongs. I can’t handle this.” His voice is breaking. He was trying so hard not to lose it, but it hadn’t worked and it probably wouldn’t anytime soon. 

“You haven’t been seeing your counselor.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. 

“You don’t know that.” He was right, Sirius hadn’t been seeing his counselor. 

“Yeah I do. You’re online when you usually see her. Is it about the money? Me and Lil can help you out with money.” Sirius hadn’t expected to be called out like that. He didn’t have the energy to handle this conversation right now. 

“I can’t do this right now.” Sirius responded, “I’ve gotta go.” He didn’t really, he just wanted to be alone. He just wanted to not talk about it anymore, pretend everything was fine, dissociate for hours. That was what he wanted. It was completely unremarkable. 

[burstingsunrise]

Hiya molls! I realized in the tags of my reblog of in the in between (omg I never remember fic titles but I KNEW that one wow it's cuz I love that title) ANYWAYS It occurred to me that I haven't publicly declared my love for you or cyberbullied you in a while. So here I am!!! I have a couple of things. Number one is that I bought a water bottle today that is The most violently vibrant shade of violet and it makes me think of you. Number two is that I think in the in between felt so real precisely because it had no plot the way most other fics do; real life doesn't have arc plots. Real life is linear. Outta sight, outta mind. And that's what you wrote so perfectly. Lately I've been thinking about the existence of other timelines where I've probably said batshit things in public and been all around more unhinged. Is it possible for me to have gotten where I am, which is where I want to be (I think) and have been a little crazier? I'll never know. Have you ever felt like you're right where you're supposed to be?

ahhhh adri @cringeycal i have missed getting asks like this from you in the middle of the night. i know you've been very busy with stars and a normal sleep schedule so u know...sometimes you have to sacrifice anon asks.

when i first read about your violently violet (nail polish name) water bottle i interpreted it as the water being violet and i had a lot of questions, but now that i've sorted it out i'm very glad you think of me every time you hydrate.

i'm very happy you like the title of in the in between bc i'm terrible with titles. that doc had so many working titles and none of them felt right. that's normal, though, i almost never feel like my fic titles are right and i just have to live with it. but then i was listening to wfttwtaf for approximately the millionth time and that little tidbit of baby blue jumped out at me. i'll pass your compliments along to luke; i'm sure he'll appreciate it since he knows you're a hard sell.

you are a very perceptive person so it is no great surprise that you make a fantastic point about plot. real life doesn't have a plot. stuff happens, and it's never really clear exactly where it starts and ends; sometimes it never does. there's usually no grand climax or resolution, and if there is, you only really realize it in hindsight, not in the moment.

this is probably one of several reasons that as both a consumer and a creator i tend to favor characters and relationships in stories over plot, but i have never really thought about it so directly in this specific way before, so thank you for that.

interesting thoughts on alternate realities and it's like, way too early for me to make sense on the topic, but yeah it's sort of crazy to think about. we've all had these moments where we really WANT to do or say something but we don't for one reason or another, and how might things be different if you'd done the thing?

you probably would've either been emboldened to do the thing (or other similar things) again, or had a bad enough consequence that you never wanted to try anything like it again out of anxiety or fear. and in either case, that winds up creating a different version of you than the one that actually exists, just based on that outcome! sort of insane.

but i like this framing of it as being right where you're supposed to be. because even though i clearly have things i could work on as a human, there are definitely times i think...wow, life is very strange and i never would have guessed i'd be in this specific situation but it's exactly as it should be.

a relevant example: answering this ask from you.

a year ago i was here, reblogging stuff quietly and not interacting with anyone, only starting to consider the possibility of maybe writing a fic, obsessing over fics from people like meg and jess and not having anyone to talk to about any of it.

but look at how things are different now! jess actively bullies me! i've met people like you who i love and can talk to about the thing i love and more! the fact that i've had meg to talk to these past couple of months with all the luke solo stuff is all the evidence i need that i'm right where i'm supposed to be at least in one specific way.

as i say that i realize i sound absolutely unhinged framing, like, big life questions around a blonde guy with an album but i figure it all counts in one way or another. because even if i weren't here i'd still be insane about it, now i just get to be insane with other people.

well that was certainly a way to start the day.

i love you adri thank you for forcing me to address existential questions at 7am. :wrymouth:

[thorniest-rose]

Hey, babe. I just wanted to say that at the beginning i didn't really like what u wrote but maybe it was cuz i didn't think it had all the tw it needed. i am kind of a hopeless romantic but i also enjoy dark, twisted and kinda purple/pretentious prose (if it doesn't offend u to call it like that even tho it's more on the poetic side) so i like reading what u write. i think it's the kind of stuff u have to analyze a bit, with ur characterization, i mean. i usually omit the sex parts even if they're important because I find your writing and characterization more interesting. I'm sorry for all the hate u got. I hope you are doing better and am glad that u make people conscious of these stories and what happens to them. I think that to enjoy what you write you have to think and understand where all of your ideas came from and that my favorite kind of media!! I hope you're doing well and love u

Hi there! Thanks for your message, reading it meant a lot to me. I try not to think about the hate I got last year because it makes me a bit sick, but it’s not your fault it happened so please don’t feel bad. I’m definitely doing better thank you. Despite how much I still love IT and writing about Richie and Eddie, distancing myself from tumblr has been good for me. Looking back at last summer and how I was having panic attacks and unable to eat due to my anxiety makes me realise just how much my mental health had plummeted. No one should ever be made to feel that low over fanfic of all things.

As for my tagging, it’s funny because even with hindsight, I still don’t think I did a bad job. I was never trying to mislead people or hide my true intentions. Could I have been more receptive to tagging recommendations? Sure, probably. But I also bristled a lot at the way people scolded and spoke down to me after I posted a fic. I also still don’t think I write an abusive dynamic and being bullied into adding an abuse tag to a lot of my fics makes me sore. I did it because people wanted me to, but I never wanted to. Plus people suggested that there was something wrong with me for not viewing my fics as abuse, which really started to pick away at my self-esteem. But mostly I’m past it. I feel a lot stronger than I did six months ago and I’ve learnt from it. 

I’m also really glad that despite not liking my fics at first you came to appreciate them (or at least that’s how I’ve read your ask). Writing fanfic has never just been an excuse to write porny scenes about characters I like (though there’s nothing wrong with that!) Instead I really love delving into the psychology behind a relationship and exploring the thorny, complicated emotions that make love messy. Things like jealousy and insecurity, obsession and pain. And I love telling people about that! It’s definitely been one of my favourite things about being in this fandom - sharing my thoughts with the people who like reading my work. When fandom was really good, it felt amazing to know my fics resonated with people and that they wanted to know more about the things I write. It was like a big collaborative project! 

Thank you for reading my fics and taking the time to write me about this stuff, it’s really nice of you. And I don't mind if you think my writing's a bit pretentious haha 😊

[rayofdawnworld]

A Good Girl

So, for context: Earlier this year our darling @saiyanprincessswanie got sick and needed surgery. I being a worried friend, reached out wished her luck promised her a get well fic, and then prayed for her. All good and dandy. But not. See, the incredible idiot that I am, NEVER POSTED THE FIC!!! I PUT THE STORY IN MY POSTED FILE BUT I DIDN'T GIVE IT TO HER!!! I. Am. A. Moran... But, this has allowed me to re-read my work and I can make it better. So, I'm posting part one now and I'll post part two next Monday. Our beloved @saiyanprincessswanie deserves more than just a one-shot at this point. I'm so sorry my Dear. I so hope you like it.  

For those interested, Tag list is open for this fic. 

Moodboard by me. :)

Grey!Steve/Sassy!OC

A Good Girl

Part One- Warnings: None

She was a good girl. Anyone with half a brain cell could see that. Steve looked at the young man once again stunned. Not only was the young woman beautiful, she looked soft and sweet,he could hardly believe that she looked so young. If asked, Steve would have sworn the beautiful woman was a young girl of eighteen and not a woman of twenty-seven, but she did have an inner lining of steel running through her, she had a fire, judging by the way she was ranting with the younger man. Steve found himself drawn to her, captivated in a way that no one ever managed to captivate him. Not even peggy. A man can get up to some very bad things for just a chance at getting a Girl like her. He thought to himself with a half formed idea backing at the back of his head. 

In hindsight, he was glad that he came with the idiot. They had met in one of his Support Group Meetings. The young man was in bed in the “act” when his girlfriend was dusted. But the relationship had been rocky, and he had been thinking about an old girlfriend of his, more and more. From what he gathered the girl had been left alone. An orphan, she had gotten a scholarship in Forensic accounting where they had met. They had dated throughout their college years but had sadly drifted apart when they hit the workforce despite having both been accepted in a prestigious firm. The stress had simply been too much. That's when things had ended. 

One of the many consequences of the snap had been unemployment. Companies had gone bankrupt either because they had lost all or most of their workforce or because the owners and shareholders had evaporated and there was no one to sign the paychecks and pay the bills. The snap had caused more problems than solved them, at least on earth. Such, in point, was the young girl's case. Steve hadn't understood why she had quit her job at the firm and had gone to a much smaller firm with a significant downgrade in income, but now he understood. She was working as a waitress in a rundown diner. The smaller firm had lost everyone. She had been the only one left. 

Steve had only just managed to dodge a flying cup aimed for the young man but alas, she didn’t have a very good aim. This argument had been going on for the better part of forty minutes. She knew she was going to get fired, so she may have decided to go all out. 

The idea had been to go with the dolt, as moral support, go talk to the girl. He had sat in a booth, while the younger man had sat in another. Her face had soured from the sweet smile she had the moment she had recognized her ex-boyfriend. She had been polite, asked him what he had wanted, he said he wanted coffee and a chance to talk. She had agreed and went to get his order. Her boss had given her ten minutes that would be reduced from her lunch hour. He listened in thanks to his superior hearing. It had been a simple conversation at first. The air stiled when, the Moran had said that he missed her. Things became frosty when he informed her that the other woman had been dusted. It took a turn for the worst when he said that he wanted her back. At first, she just laughed, then… Then the argument started. That's when Steve got the truth. He had always suspected that there was something off about the sap story the other asshole had shared with the group. Now he knew. My poor sweet girl. Don’t worry I'll  take care of you. 

Sadie was done. Just done. All her life she had been a good girl. She always did what the nuns told her to do. She never broke the rules, worked hard, was kind to all even when she was bullied. She did her damn best, to tell the truth, she saved herself waiting for “the one”, she had been faithful, loyal. She was humble, modest. And for what? To be called boring and humiliated by being compared with another woman. She had felt so small when Kevin had said that, what’s her name was sexier and better in bed. She had rebuffed that she had been a virgin when they had met. Not to mention that he never wanted to try anything new, telling her that she shouldn’t try to be someone she wasn’t, whatever THAT meant. Kevin then had the gall of saying it was all her fault he slept with the other woman. She should have done more, tried better. Learned more. When she asked him acidly, if the point of exploring one's sexuality was to do it as a couple, the bastard had accused her of making a scene. She had quit her job and left the apartment they shared that very day. He had called her accusing her of being childish and overreacting, she threw her phone away, just in case he could track the serial number. Sadie wondered how long it would take the firm and his new flame to find out that eighty percent of his so-called excellent work was done by her, at home. In some misguided and deluded idea of good to him.

The world had changed a year after that. She was still hurt. But not in the way most thought. She was hurt and angry at herself. For not saying what she wanted. For not realizing what a jackass Kevin was. But above all, she wished she could have punched him. And now here he was… Telling her how sorry  he was, what a mistake he had made, and how much he missed her and how much he wanted her back. Everything went red after that, she didn’t know what she said but she did remember throwing something at him. She nearly hit the client sitting in the booth behind them. She was going to get fired for that. She just knew it. She didn’t care. It was a lousy job anyway. She did on the other hand get to do something she had dreamed of ever since they had broken up, no ever since she had caught him cheating and left him. It wasn’t a punch, no. But it had been a slap. And a very big mighty slap. 

Later that evening, Frank had been gracious enough to “let” her finish her shift, with no job and slim prospects, she was still smiling. Her smile dropped when she saw Captain America himself waiting outside for her with an apologetic face. Now that she thought back on it. Kevin had walked in with him. Before she could say anything the tall Adonis took a step forward and smiled minutely.

“I’m sorry about today. I didn’t know the whole story. If I had I would have stopped him from coming here.” Steve Grant Rogers was talking to her. Apologizing to her. Sadie smiled stunned but sadly.

“It’s alright. Kevin has always had this way about him. It takes a bit for you to see past his bulshit.” Steve chuckled and shook his head. We’ll have to do something about this language though. “I’m not surprised you fell for it. You're a good man, Captain.” 

Hearing that did things to him. She was perfect in every way. Sweet, pure, good-natured. She deserved better than Kevin. She deserved someone who would keep her safe from the ugliness that this word had become. She deserved to be cherished. Taken care of. And HE wanted to be the one to do all those things for her. But he also realized that he would have to pace himself. 

“Well, to make it up to you how about I offer you a job? I was going to give it to Kevin, but I think there's a story he’s not telling us about him being fired from the firm you were both working at, so I feel my safest bet is offering it to you.” Steve said shifting his weight from foot to foot. Sadie smiled at that.

“Yea, someone at the firm must have found out that he was a slacker. I did most of his work for him remotely from home at night. And with no hot, exciting girlfriend in HR to cover up for him…” was all she had to say. “What kind of job are you talking about?”

“Simple accounting. Nothing out of the ordinary. Howard Stark stopped the government from declaring me dead so the hundred dollars I invested in his company have grown in stock value ever since. He also apparently bought a bunch of Real Estate and a lot of other stuff, so now I don't know what I have or what I owe to the IRS. I need someone to look at my books… that have been untouched since nineteen ninety-one.” Steve explained, a bit overwhelmed. Sadie wished she could have told him that she needed to think about it. But she didn’t. Without any job prospects, she wasn’t in a place to decline Steve's offer. The fact that she would be working for America's Golden Boy and getting one over Kevin was just a bonus. Thanking him he gave her the compound address and they parted ways. 

He followed her from a safe distance. He wanted to make sure she got home alright. At least that's what he told himself as he melted into the darkness. 

[orionsangel86]

.

You know when I first joined Twitter I had many reservations. I had always heard that Twitter fandom was pretty toxic and for that reason I tried to avoid it as long as possible. Eventually with Tumblr slowly dying I just went for it. I was... pretty damn naive when I joined up.

I have always said, over and over again, that my main reason for even being in fandom was to meet new people and make new friendships that would outlast Supernatural. At this point in time I feel I have accomplished this, though I am always open to making new friends. I like to think, that this being my primary reason for being here, it makes me a genuine person. I am not altogether that interested in popularity, getting the most followers, making my opinion the one everyone MUST believe in, and I never had much interest in “fighting” antis first hand. Sure I liked writing meta and would defend myself if I was attacked, but seeking out drama and forcing my opinion on others were never things that I cared about.

Twitter changed me. I said I was naive, and I was particularly naive to people seeking me out, being super nice to me, inviting me into lots of various fandom GCs and welcoming me with open arms. When people do that, you feel loved, you feel like you are a part of something, and very quickly it can become addictive. You very easily start feeling like those people are your friends, and you get protective of them. You support them, stand up for them, and turn a blind eye when their behaviour gives you pause.

The other thing you should know about me is that I am an empath. Sometimes this is a strength, and sometimes it is a weakness. I hate the idea of upsetting people, and I feel strongly towards those who are upset. I always try to see different points of view in a situation, and I am very consciencous of offending people - When I have offended others, I tend to dwell on it for a long time afterwards, wanting to make things right. But I also think that being empathic can make me prone to manipulation. Especially of the emotional kind. When that happens I can get defensive myself, when I suspect emotional manipulation I shut down very quickly, and I can get spiteful towards it. It’s a defense mechanism. I often regret my actions later. I feel like Twitter fandom has brought out some of my nastier qualities, but I feel that I need to explain where I think this has come from.

I was invited into a GC that in hindsight, was a bad place. It was supposedly a place created to vent about things that upset us, and to keep an eye on that “other” side of fandom - the bronlys. It was a secret place, you must never talk about this GC, I was told. This GC didn’t exist. I’m going to talk about this GC, and in doing so will probably get attacked, subtweeted, called out directly, called a liar, exposed for being this that and whatever, probably have my private DMs shared, and yeah... a whole bunch of shit probably. I’m altogether not prepared for any of that, but since I have that whole bunch blocked now, I’m hoping any shit they say about me will blow over. Anyone who truly knows me, knows I am not the person they make me out to be anyway.

When I first joined that GC the point was to call out hate towards the cast and the writers. To find tagged tweets and bullying and harassment and make sure that the wider fandom knew exactly who the problem people were. I believed in that process. I believed that we were doing good for the fandom in making newer fans aware of who needed to be avoided, as I had heard stories first hand of people who had come into fandom reached out to bigger fandom accounts and immediately been shut down and bullied just for saying they liked Castiel or shipped Dean and Cas. I was angry at those hateful people and wanted some kind of justice for them, so yeah, I joined in happily with the call outs.

But over the past year, things have changed. First, it was not just calling out bronlies, it was calling out extreme stans, who also tagged the writers in their hate. Sure, I wasn’t happy that anyone was tagging the writers in hate, so fuck those people. They can go to hell. I’ll support the calling out of those names too. Then, when people started turning on meta writers like me and taking the piss out of our meta, calling it bullshit and mocking us, it was hurtful, so when that GC rallied together to support me and my fellow meta writers and call out those assholes I was all for it. They were screencapping my meta and calling me deluded after all, why shouldn’t I defend myself and get my friends to help? People in fandom can be dicks when they want to be. But then again, so can we all.

Then it got weird. I think people in fandom started getting nervous about the final season announcement and how the show would end. Cas stans started getting extremely negative about his chances for survival. Destiel shippers started complaining about Destiel being queerbaiting and planning on going after the writers if it didn’t go canon. These were people who I was mutuals with, whose accounts I followed, and whose opinions, whilst they were kind of upsetting for me as a positive fan, were untagged personal opinions and not hate. Those people weren’t attacking positive fans, though sometimes discussions got heated, arguably it got heated on both sides. When the GC started going after those people I started feeling uncomfortable. But I kept quiet. This, I have come to realise, was a huge mistake.

Suddenly other fans were fighting against the GC people. They (we) were called “the fandom police” and “the bully squad” by so many others. I started noticing how other fans, fellow Destiel shippers, were blocking me and avoiding me for my associations with this group. I watched as the GC people started slagging off accounts that were my long time mutuals, my close friends, people I had met in real life and knew to be good people all because they had voiced a slightly negative opinion about the show. If you are relatively well known in Supernatural fandom, chances are this GC has slagged you off.

At the same time, I had watched how some of my friends within the GC “clique” had started changing, how their behaviour online was becoming aggressive and mean. How they were antagonistic and bullyish. My friends. People who I knew were good people before. The dog piling, the condescending tones, the entitled sense of righteousness, it all added up. I started trying to voice my concerns, both to people I was close to within the GC privately, and timidly within the GC itself - for which I was shut down. I started reconsidering my own behaviour online. Had I too acted like this? Had I also aggressively gone after people for simply voicing a negative opinion? Had I also shown myself to be exactly what this GC was supposed to be fighting against?

Some of the others privately admitted to feeling the same way. Some of us backed off and stopped associating with the main GC accounts. We kept our distance from them, some I know muted them. But none of us left the GC. I wish I had back then rather than letting it escalate further.

It had once again got worse from just going after people with negative opinions, now they were going after anyone who disagreed with their specific opinions. Either you agree with us, or you are an idiot. I couldn’t stomach it anymore. My friend, who was also in the GC, decided to query this new line of thinking because she disagreed with the “big opinion”. This is what kicked off all the drama. I’m not going to go into detail about it because otherwise it’ll get too obvious and personal and I want to keep this vague because whilst these people have hurt me and spread lies about me I actually don’t intend to call them out personally or reveal whose who in the group.

Just know this. By the time I eventually spoke up it was apparantly too late. My admittence of my discomfort was seen as a betrayal. There were private DMs in which I got defensive and snapped back whilst emotional about basically losing all my closest Twitter friends, and some messages I sent which I am not proud of. If they get out, fair enough. Judge me all you like. Just understand that I was extremely upset and confused how no one else apparantly saw the issues I was seeing; that this GC was indeed bullying and policing fandom, and that these people were intimidating, threatening, and manipulating everyone into believing they were victims.

I tried to let it drop, I tried to ignore it. I wanted to keep quiet. But my quitting the GC, my request to those who were calmer and less inclined towards bad behaviour to at least keep the ones who were bullying fandom in line, didn’t stop them. Their behaviour has only escalated further and Twitter fandom right now is an awful place because of it. The bronlys must be laughing at us, because Destiel fandom has turned cannabalistic.

I spoke out recently. I tried to keep it vague in a tweet about the recent drama in general. But one thing I said gets pulled out separately and suddenly I’m the big bad wolf invalidating people and I’m a horrible person who is clearly fetishising destiel as I want them to fuck on the map table apparantly?!?! I mean, this is what these people do. They take something and blow it up. They twist your words, they basically throw a dictionary of large complex words at you claiming you are x,y,and z. they use terms like gaslighting and strawmanning aimed at you and in the confusion it takes you forever to actually realise that they are doing those things themselves. Constantly. To everyone.

Look I took it too far. I subtweeted too. I exhibited those bad behaviours as well. Hell, I learned from the best after all. I was in that GC for a year. Of course I am still trying to unlearn those behaviours. I am not proud of my behaviour on Twitter. After this post, I will try to do be better. Everyday. I will be better. I apologise to anyone I may have hurt by supporting and encouraging that behaviour.

I have had mutual friends tell me privately that I need to stop. What upsets me, is that those mutuals aren’t exactly telling the others to stop too. No. Those were the mutuals who stayed quiet whilst those particular people just constantly attacked and bullied everyone. So I’m sorry, but this is me not stopping, this is me making one last post on the topic. This is me telling my story as I see it. This is me pouring my heart out and getting it off my chest. This is my truth. I’m not spinning lies here, I’m not trying to twist anything, because I think I also come across quite badly. But the recent accusations against me, claiming I don’t care for anyone else in fandom, that my calling out “so called bullying” is just my personal vendetta against people who used to be my friends. Well, yes. Technically you’d be right there, they did used to be my friends, but no. Where you are wrong, is saying I don’t care. Because if I didn’t care about the bullying that I am STILL seeing on my timeline via upset mutuals reacting to the hurtful tweets of those I have blocked, I would just ignore it and not cause myself further drama. If I didn’t 100% believe those people were bullies, they’d still be my friends. I wouldn’t have called them out. Why would I put myself through all this if I didn’t 100% believe what I’ve been saying? That’s just madness.

Because here’s the thing, I HATE bullies. I have been bullied my whole fucking life, and what I hate MORE than that, was that through that GC I also became something that I hated. Because by associating with them for that year, I might as well have called myself a bully too. And that I just can’t forgive.

So my reason for writing this post is twofold.

1. Yes, it’s to defend the lies spread against me. So that those wondering if I am actually a fake bitch with a vendetta against certain people can make up their own minds. Perhaps this post exasperates that, or in your minds confirms their accusations about me. Maybe it does. I would argue that I am not fake. This isn’t fake. This is my personal truth and a very personal account of things that have greatly hurt me and caused me much internal conflict over the past few months. Those people who I am accusing (whose names I have left out to stupidly protect their privacy because believe it or not I’m not a bitch who encourages harassment against anyone even people I consider bullies) will never admit that their behaviour is wrong. They will continue to attempt to convince anyone who asks that I turned on them for no reason, or because I blindly follow my friend who they are also attacking and exposing right now for getting emotional and taking a DM convo too far. If you choose to believe them that is your right, clearly you and I were never close enough for you to trust my word over the words of people whose behaviour is clearly and proudly splashed all over their own social media accounts. Frankly, if you see all that, and still believe that behaviour is okay, you are no friend of mine.

2. It’s because I want people to know that actually, through all the pain and drama and emotion and loss of friendship, and conflict and struggle with my mental health, I do care. I care too damn much. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have spent an hour of my Sunday writing this out. Because this has been toiling and whirling inside me painfully for months and I am fed up of it. I had to write it down. I had to get it out of me. I want these people out of my life for good, but I can’t sit by and let bullies continue to manipulate my fandom, my mutuals, my friends who I see encouraged by their behaviour to imitate it. They are unfortunately very good at encouraging others to also partake in their behaviour. Please do not fall for it. Please consider your tone when tweeting or replying to someone with an opposing opinion. Please don’t feed bad behaviour by liking it and tweeting it just because you agree with the specific opinion buried within the condescension. Please don’t throw around strong accusations like homophobia against your fellow queer fans just because they have different desires from this dumb show that we all love.

If you can all do that for me, then I will promise to do it for you too.

I am terrified to post this post. I know that in doing so I am burning quite a few bridges. I know that those I accuse will do everything in their power to make out that I am insane, that I am a psycho. I know that I am exposing myself to more attacks, more harassment. I am sure there will be plenty of twitter threads dragging my name through the mud. They’ll dismiss all of this, call it bullshit, once again claim its just my personal vendetta against certain people. I guess I’m hoping that by anticipating all this and writing it down, it might give those people pause to just stop and leave me be. Stop the cycle of bad behaviour that has caused all this escalation and go back to enjoying the show without policing everyone else.

At this point I just want everyone to know the truth. Whether you believe it or not is your prerogative. This show ends in a few months time and I just want to enjoy it without seeing bullying in my timeline. That’s what this has always been about.

We must stand up to bullying. We must not let it ruin the final few months of this show. This post is my final word on the topic. I won’t respond to anything else. I won’t respond to any threats, any subtweets against me going forward. Hateful anons will be blocked. I won’t respond to anyone asking me for more info and I have no intention of naming people personally or giving more clues as to the GC or the people who were in it. So please don’t ask. Just keep an eye out for bad behaviour in fandom and if you see it, block or mute the source, only call it out if you know you have the mental capabilities to tackle the gaslighting. But absolutely do not support it. Do not feed the bullies as attention is what they want most of all, that and making their words the only words fandom follows.

I am done with this now. I won’t discuss this more.

[paladinwife]

On Shared F/Os, Possessiveness, and Bullying in the Community

I’m not thrilled to have to write this, but I want to share an experience I have had in this community. 

For one, I do not intend to send any hate this person’s way. In fact, I have no intention of revealing their name, url, or the f/os we shared, and I will only refer to them by they/them pronouns, just to be sure that nothing comes their way. I just really need to talk about this publicly.

Recently I have had two experiences with possessiveness and bullying over shared f/os with this person. The first was a few months ago. I had been apprehensive about adding this f/o for a while out of fear of how they would react, which in hindsight was likely a red flag already. When I finally revealed that I was picking up this f/o (because they asked), at first they were fine with sharing. Then, a few days later, they retracted that, insisting that I tag all content with this f/o and saying that it made them feel “inadequate” that I shipped with this f/o.

This hurt, certainly, but I put up with it and tagged content for a good month or so. I figured that it was just poorly worded discomfort with sharing (because, in fairness, they never should have put blame on me for them feeling inadequate) - that is, until they publicly encouraged someone else to consider this f/o. They didn’t actually approach me at first, even though I was absolutely crushed by seeing this. It took another mutual friend to push this person to apologize to me - and even then, I really had to pry for an apology beyond “sorry for not thinking of your feelings”. During this time, I learned from them that the behavior had stemmed from frustration that I had been encouraged to pick up this f/o and their belief that the people encouraging me should have “considered their feelings”. Again, this sounds like a red flag - though they admitted that this wasn’t my fault, saying it like this indicates a possessiveness over the f/o that seemingly persisted. I shouldn’t have to tell you that you don’t need permission from someone who has an f/o for... really anything. But at this point, I let it go, though I kept a cautious eye on this person because I wasn’t completely satisfied that this would stop.

This next incident happened just a few weeks ago. Again, I was being encouraged to pick up another new f/o, with some of the encouraging happening in a shared server. This time, they reacted with what I can only describe as competitive behavior - derailing conversations where I brought her up or someone else was discussing the idea of me with her, making a vague post about adding this f/o “sooner than expected”, and even arguing with me over my own personal headcanon for this character.

I no longer speak to this person, because at this point I’m not convinced they will improve this behavior. They have also treated multiple friends of mine in a competitive or possessive way. I would not be surprised if there were other people with the same issue. They also have not apologized to me for this behavior, even after a talking-to by the admin of the server.

Part of why I write this is because, when I made a post expressing my frustration over people being rude over sharing f/os, a concerning number of people seemed to be going through similar struggles. I remember as I was going through this, I often wondered if this was my fault or if I was being too sensitive. If you’re going through something similar, I promise this isn’t your fault. Your emotions are real.

And with this, I’d like to give everyone a kind reminder to stand up for your fellow self-shipper if you see this happening. We’ve certainly seen posts about sending death threats over f/os, but often times the bad behavior never makes it quite that far, but it can hurt someone or their experience in the community nonetheless. Be ready to extend a hand and help if you know this is happening.

And if you’re concerned that this may be you, frankly I think concern over this is a good sign that you’re not bad or irredeemable, and you very well might not be part of the problem at all. Just remember to communicate honestly and kindly. People will often be willing to tag or will understand if you can’t interact. It’s not your fault if you have difficulty sharing and feel negative things from it - but remember that it isn’t theirs either.

[irondadfics]

do u have any super whump fics like the third option or when you cant crawl?

The Third Option by @signofuncertainty and When You Can’t Crawl by @jolinarjackson are both wonderful reads! Besides just being SUPER whumpy they do share some similar themes.

Peter dealing with abuse and/or bullying.

Peter struggling with doubt and his own self worth.

Peter keeping secrets/hiding the severity of his struggles from Tony until they become too much for him to handle on his own.

Tony misunderstanding Peter’s situation and maybe not handling it very well at first because he doesn’t have all the details.

Here’s a few stories that share some of OR all of these concepts, but please remember to check the tags. Stay safe!

Hindsight by elephreak @ironwebbs

In hindsight he knows that he saw this coming. He recognised the signs with more than enough time to have alerted May, or anyone on what he knew was progressing. But in the end, he just really wanted it to not be true. Just to be a figment of his paranoid over-reactive teenage mind, conjuring up the worst possible scenario. Maybe he had just seen it so much out on the streets as Spiderman that he was bringing it home with him, still seeing the darkness in those kinds of people’s eyes… in the way they moved and spoke. Or maybe he had just assumed that the blearing alarms of his spider-sense from the moment he shook hands with the guy was just aftershocks of the armed robbery he had just wrapped up only moments ago.Hindsight can be a real bitch sometimes. OR The one where Peter is being abused in the worst way

Damaged At Best (Like You’ve Already Figured Out) by JolinarJackson @jolinarjackson and ShoyzzArt @shoyzz-art

”Don’t come any closer,” Spider-Man said, his hand raised threateningly, his fingers resting against a trigger mechanism nestled into his palm.”Alright,” Tony answered. For a moment, they looked at each other – Tony stuck to the wall on one side of the alley and Spider-Man stuck to the other – then Tony opened his helmet to show his face. ”Hey, there”, he said. ”Nice to finally meet you.”—The Avengers are left shaken in the aftermath of the Sokovia Accords. With half the team under house arrest at the Compound, Tony finds himself seeking refuge in Avengers Tower and starts forming a tentative friendship with the neighborhood vigilante Spider-Man. A friendship which is quickly threatened by Secretary Ross doubting Spider-Man’s intentions and integrity.Tony is left wondering who to trust, especially when Spider-Man manages to uncover the one secret Tony never wanted anyone to know about: the child Tony had with a woman named Mary Fitzpatrick sixteen years ago.

Sick by WindsOfWisteria

After not seeing Peter for over a week, Tony Stark gets a frantic call from May Parker. Due to her call, he makes his way to her apartment only to find Peter dangerously ill. Despite his high fever, profuse vomiting, and blaring headache, he refuses to go to the hospital or to Bruce. The question is- why? Tony knows there’s something more to this than Peter is telling him.

broken playgrounds by hailingstars @hailing-stars 

“Kid,” said Tony. He gripped the edges of the workstation and let out a breath. “Look… I’m not trying to grill you, or call you a liar, alright? It’s just you and me down here, and you can tell me, if something’s wrong… it’s just, I have this feeling – that something might be.”Peter considered it. Telling Tony the truth. The words were on the tip of his tongue. They were begging to get out, but he couldn’t. Tony wouldn’t understand, and he had this covered. He could handle Skip on his own. He just hadn’t worked out how he wanted to go about doing that yet. He managed a smile, but it faltered. “Everything’s good, Tony, really. Everything’s fine.”ORWhen Peter finds out a man who sexually abused him as child is working as a teacher at Morgan’s school, he struggles with his past, whether or not he should tell Tony what had happened, or handle Skip himself.

Waste Not, Want Not by mttraspberrypie @miactive 

Really, Peter’s only trying to make life easier for everyone.It sucks that he has to starve to do it, though.

Make Way For Tomorrow by hopeless_hope @tonystarkstan  

Peter swallows and looks at Tony, unable to keep the heartbroken look off his face. His hand grabs for his book bag while his other sweeps the vials up. Maybe he’s being paranoid, but he can’t risk going back into the system. He closes his eyes, for just a second, to mourn the life he could have had.“I’m sorry,” he says to Tony.He doesn’t wait to see the man’s response before he pushes through the crowd of people and runs. “Wait!” Tony calls after him.But Peter’s already out the door.-Before Ben died, Peter won a booth to present his project at the Stark Expo. But even on the run from the foster care system, he can’t pass up the opportunity to attend and show the world his project. It all goes so well, until it doesn’t. Trying to avoid being caught, Peter runs out on Tony just as the man is about to make him the offer of a lifetime.Bold of him to assume Tony won’t try to find him.

Comeuppance by PinkEasterEggs 

“Do you think all bad people get their comeuppance?” Peter asked suddenly. “What makes you ask?” Mr Stark looked worried.“No reason,” Peter shrugged. “I would like to think that karma gets everyone eventually,” Mr Stark said eventually. “Do you believe in karma, Pete? Do you believe all bad people get their comeuppance?”He paused for a second and thought. How many times had be dreamt of Skip getting put behind bars? How many times had Peter imagined the man getting what he deserved? It seemed like countless nights that Peter had closed his eyes and dreamt of a world where the man who’d hurt him was finally exposed for what he was: a monster.But then Peter opened his eyes and Skip was still living a good life, his true self hidden from the world.“No,” Peter sniffed, trying to not see the look of worry Mr Stark was giving him. “I don’t.” Peter Parker was 9 years old when his Aunt and Uncle hired a babysitter to look after him. He was 9 years old when his life changed forever and Peter realised that monsters weren’t something that hid under his bed at night.

Peter Parker is young, dumb and reckless (and also in constant pain) by Minkey222 @minkey222 (series)

It was about the time in the night where Peter started to think about going home when a shrill noise enters his ears.

[just-random-obsessions]

Funny Moments In Avengers 1 (this time with gifs!)

Find Thor 1 here

Find Thor 2 here

In hindsight, I probably shoulda done this either before or right after Thor 1 but I’m horrible at planning so. This post is going to be listing the humor in Avengers 1 and then giving some thoughts afterwards. Post starts underneath the tag list. If you want to be added/removed from the tag list, let me know.

Tag List: @fyrecrafted​ @lokijiro​ @nikkoliferous​ @miskiett​ @icyxmischief​ @iamanartichoke​ @juliabohemian​ @Official-and-unstable-satan @darthxerik​ @melodylnoelle​  @just-another-human-2019​ @fandomsfanfictions @mentallydatingahotcelebrity​ @cateyes315​ @burningarbiterheart​ @imnotacreepijustlikeyou​ @usedtobegoodfriend96​ @alexakeyloveloki​

Also, side note but I find it kinda interesting how the humor doesn’t start till several minutes after the film starts when the arms dealer guy is interrogating Natasha.

~ Arms dealer: “you listen carefully” Coulson: *bitch you listen carefully*

~ “I’m working! This idiot is giving me everything” “I don’t give her everything”

~ “Let me put you on hold” *Coulson waiting very quietly as he listens to Natasha’s hold music which consists of bones breaking*

~ “Oh I’ve got Stark. You get the big guy” *Natasha DEFINITELY saying “fuck” in a different language*

~ “Should’ve got paid up front Banner”

~ “Doctor we’re facing a potential global catastrophe” “oh no those I try to actively avoid”

~ “What does Fury want me to do [with the Tesseract]? Swallow it?”

~ “Is there anything you can tell us about the Tesseract? “You should’ve left it in the ocean

~ “Ten bucks says you’re wrong [about being surprised by new things]” *Steve later giving Fury $10*

~ “How does it look?” “Like Christmas but with more me”

~ “Give yourself some credit please. Give yourself 12% of the credit.” “12%?! Of my baby?!” “An argument could be made for 15”

~ “You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark. Please leave a message”

~ “Phil! Come in!” “Um his first name is Agent”

~ *I know nothing about the Avengers initiative but I do know that my boyfriend is a dick sometimes*

~ *Pepper saying something racy in Tony’s ear*

~ *Both of the men’s faces*

~ “The guy’s like a Stephen Hawking.” *?????* “He’s like a smart person”

~ “I watched you while you were sleeping” *wow I should’ve stayed in the ice cause this convo went sideways real quick*

~ *Loki straight up sassing the asshole who tortured him like the Queen he is*

~ “Did he ask you to sign his captain America trading cards yet?” Trading cards?” “They’re vintage. He’s very proud”

~ “Really? They want me in a submerged pressurized metal container”

~ “Oh no this is much worse”

~ “I mean, if it’s not too much trouble” “no no it’s fine”

~ *Loki bitch-slapping the guard in the face with the scepter*

~ *cap punches Loki and Loki’s bitch really face”

~ “Kneel!” “Not today!”

~ “Make a move Reindeer Games”

~ “Rock of Ages giving up so easy?”

~ “What’s the matter? Scared of a little lightning?” “I’m not overly fond of what follows?” *?????*

~ “Now there’s that guy”

~ “We need a plan of attack!” “I have a plan. Attack”

~ “You think yourself above them?” “Well yes dumbass”

~ “You listen well brother” “I’m listening”

~ “Doth mother know, you weareth her drapes?”

~ *Loki calmly watching them fight*

~ “Power at 400% capacity” “How bout that?”

~ “Let me know if ‘real power’ wants a magazine or something”

~ “He really grows on you doesn’t he?”

~ “An army. From outer space” *should’ve stayed in the ice cube*

~ “He killed 80 people in 2 days” “He’s adopted”

~ “No hard feelings Point Breaks, you got a mean swing”

~ “That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn’t notice but we did!” *they later show the guy playing Galaga*

~ “How does Fury see these?” “He turns.” “Sounds exhausting”

~ “When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?” “Last night”

~ *Tony and Bruce geeking out over science*

~ “Are you nuts?” “Jury’s out”

~ “Is everything a joke to you?” “Funny thing”

~ *Tony supporting Bruce by offering blueberries*

~ “The Stark tower? That big ugly-” *Tony’s face* “building in the sky?”

~ “Followings not really my style?” “And you’re all about style?” “Of the people in this room who is 1) wear a spangly outfit and 2) not of use?”

~ *Ancient powerful deity trying to describe what a Bilgesnipe is to a mortal*

~ “How is this now about me?” “I’m sorry isn’t everything”

~ “Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off and what are you?” “Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist”

~ *Tony and Steve arguing* “Put on the suit” “I’m not afraid to hit an old man”

~ *SHIELD gets attacked* “Put on the suit” “Yep”

~ “Is the sun coming up? Then put it on the left dumbass”

~ “It seems to work on some form of electricity” *I should’ve stayed in the ice*

~ *Tony speaking Science TM* “Speak English!”

~ “Target angry! TARGET ANGRY!!!!!!”

~ “Are you ever not going to fall for that?”

~ *After blasting Loki* “So that’s what it does”

~ *Master assassins who bite each other*

~ *Thor vs Windows episode 2*

~ “Cap hit the lever” “I need a minute here!” “LEVER!!! NOW!!!”

~ “Uh oh I’m fucked”

~ “Are you an alien?” “No” “Well then son, you’ve got a condition”

~ “Hey you guys aren’t authorized to be in he-” “Son, just don’t”

~ “Please tell me you’re going to appeal to my humanity” “Actually I’m planning on threatening”

~ *Tony very calmly “threatening” Loki*

~ “I have an army” “We have a Hulk”

~ “This usually works” “Well performance issues. It’s not uncommon 1 out of 5-” YEET

~ “And there one other person you pissed off. His name is Phil”

~ “Right. Army”

~ *Steve trying to stay safe in the jet as it falls to the ground* *I SHOULD’VE STAYED IN THE FUCKING ICE*

~ “Stark are you seeing this?” “Seeing. Still working on believing”

~ “You think you can hold them off?” “Captain, it would be my genuine pleasure”

~ “Just like Budapest all over again” “You and I remember Budapest very differently”

~ “Why the hell should I take orders from you?” *Cause I’m a fucking badass that why*

~ “Welp. We got his attention. What the hell is step 2?”

~ “So. This all seems horrible”

~ “I’m bringing the party to you” “I don’t see how that’s a party”

~ “That’s my secret cap. I’m always angry” *honestly tho Mood TM*

~ “Better clench up Legolas”

~ “And Hulk. Smash”

~ *Hawkeye not looking where he’s shooting and still hitting his mark*

~ “Well Thor’s taking down a squadron on 6th” “And he didn’t invite me”

~ *Hulk punching Thor out of the frame*

~ *Steve hiding his whole body behind his shield*

~ “I recognize that the council has made a decision but given that it’s a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

~ “Nat what the fuck are you doing?”

~ *Loki catches the arrow like a Badass TM but it still blows up in his face anyways cause Hawkeye is also a Badass TM*

~ “I am a god you dull creature and I will not be bullied by a-“ *gets smacked around like a rag doll*

~ “Puny god”

~ *Moans* (NOT LIKE THAT GET Y’ALL’S HEADS OUTTA THE GUTTER!!)

~ “Jarvis. You ever hear the tale of Jonah?” “I wouldn’t consider him a role model”

~ *ITS SHWARMA!!!! In the back ground!*

~ “You ready for another bout?” “What you gettin sleepy?”

~ *Hulk roaring to wake up Tony* “What the hell?”

~ “What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me!”

~ “Lets just not come in tomorrow. Let’s just take a day. You ever tried shwarma? There’s a shwarma place three blocks away. I don’t know what it is but I wanna try it.”

~ “If it’s all the same to you, I’ll have that drink now” *Tony smirking*

~ “Superhero’s in New York? Give me a break!”

~ *The Shwarma scene*

~ *Tony realizing he was scared back to life by the man on his left*

~ *Steve nodding off like the senior citizen he is*

~ *Thor eating literally everything on his plate*

~ *Clint and Natasha taking up each others personal space*

Alright some side thoughts. First of all, there’s no humor in the opening scene when Loki is stealing the Tesseract. I find this interesting as I see no reason for there not to be humor. Not complaining, just wondering.

Also, just like with Thor 1 & 2, there’s little to no humor when Thor and Loki are arguing. Whether it’s wen Thor breaks Loki out fo the jet after Stuttgart or when Thor and Loki are fighting on the Stark Tower, there’s barely any humor, if there’s even any humor at all.

[ivemadeanopinion]

Hello! This is my first post on this account. I recently posted about something political on my other account, and thought that I didn't want any politics on there really :)

I'm a 14 year old girl who really wants to formulate her own opinion and break away from my father's. He's a strong republican, prolife, doesn't believe in climate change, and thinks liberalism is a mental illness, or something along those lines. He basically assumes everyone from the other side is stupid. (Though, it wouldn't be infactual to say I've seen Democrats say so too about republicans.)

I hate sitting in my house, hearing my dad rant on and on about these things no one in my household cares about, and I thought, why not care? Why not care and begin to formulate my own opinion???

The amount of times I've embarrassed myself in school. Like I said, my father doesn't believe in climate change. I have a huge personality. So I've said it before. Tried to discuss it. And people look at me as if I'm insane. I didn't know better.

Whether you're republican, a Democrat, whatever you are, I'm open minded to any information, articles or anything you have to provide.

Please, although people can be assholes, not ALL people are assholes. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. On this blog I will try to avoid saying anyone is dumb, or say things negative about them. Discussing opinions is okay. There is no need to take it further than that.

I'd appreciate having a civil discussion. I might give you information my father has told me, and I wouldn't mind if you explained why he is wrong.

I don't believe that all Republicans are bad. I don't believe that all liberals are bad. I don't believe that a whole entire group of people is bad. Just certain people inside it. Yet every day I see posts bashing entire groups of people, defined by their gender, looks, race, sexuality other than what they believe in. There are always nice people in a bad group, and bad people in a nice group. (Of course, depending on how vague you go. If you say pro life, you arent saying that they're pro "you have to always give birth even if it's a child from rape." That isn't every person in the pro life community.)

Though I understand how posts go, and when you say "republicans" and stuff. It makes sense. I'm probably gonna say "most republicans" in my posts though, when it ever comes across, because it's a preference I guess. My whole family is republican and seeing the ones who aren't super terrible like my dad be grouped up in there just bothers me i guess.

That's the main opinion I stand for, and here's why (huge rant ahead. TLDR at the end of the lines. I reccomend you read, but it's alright if not.);

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When I began going to school, out in Florissant, Missouri, as early as kindergarten, I was bullied. Practically everyone in that school was black. I grew up in the hood area, I would say. Not as bad as some places, but still quite bad. Soon enough, I was bullied for being white. I've had people tell me that there's no way that's why I was bullied. Well, kids saying i should 'go to hell for being white', probably is an indicator, but what do I know? I was terrified. I kept to myself. My only friends became the special ed kids. Rachel and Summer were my best friends. Summer passed away in 2016. I wasn't informed till late 2017, by seeing my friends yearbook.

Nevertheless, I was called racial slurs, I was literally 'the plauge'. I blocked most of it out, it's trauma, but I can just remember trying to play a game with people and they say "the white girl is infected!!! Don't touch her!!" And, well, I didn't get to play with them. I played with Rachel instead, but she thought they were just playing tag. She didn't understand why they were running away. (They ran from her because she was special ed. She wasnt white.) It all got worse after the Ferguson riots. I was about 9 then.

I made my first friend in 3rd grade. His name was Kenan. He was outcasted because he was a crybaby. We became friends, but I still didn't play many games. Then Cayl'E came along in 5th grade. She was friends with everyone. She ended up becoming my best friend. Now she is family to me. She made everyone actually realize, that I might not be a terrible person just because of how I look. people still didn't touch me for a while. (not letting me be involved in house, no one picking me for heads up 7s up, etc, not like some weird stufd) but it soon got better for a few people. (Definitely not all. I can still name 3 kids that made my final weeks of 5th grade TORTURE. Yes, I cried really loud during the date ceremony because this kid was purposely overstimulating me)

Most traumatic time at that school? This might sound like the most fake part, but no, this is real; My 5th grade brother calling a 1st grader short, and a bunch of middle school kids (they looked tall) running up and beating the shit out of him. I was in 3rd grade. I had to run to find help. I couldn't help my brother, from getting beat up by like 20 guys. In hindsight, it probably wasn't that many, but I was in 3rd grade, I over exaggerated a lot.

I moved in 6th grade. Out to a better school. I was scared of the loud kids. And soon enough became used to it. Now I have a huge personality. I'm open, and today even walked in on my brothers zoom meeting to say my armpits smelled like burritos then walking away. Im not scared anymore. Most of the time. Sometimes I have flashbacks, but we don't need to discuss that.

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TLDR: I was severely bullied because of my skin color. I have some post traumatic stress from it it was quite bad. Yet through it, I made friends who helped me, despite the color of my skin. So through every bad there is good.

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What I'm trying to say from that is, not all white people are bad. Not all black people are bad. Just the certain people who made me so hurt much today. They didn't mean it though (I hope. A couple kids apologized about two years after moving.)

Not every group is bad just because you've had a bad experience with a few people. There are always kind people out there.

Whether I'm one is your decision, and whether you want to discuss some politics about like climate change, abortion or whatever, is also up to you.

Sorry for going on and on. Hope to hear back from anyone! (In a hopefully civilized discussion, I'm 14, not 54.) Oh and!! Don't be shy due to my age. I know way too much, I'm on the internet! I might be impressionable and stuff, but what's more impressionable? An opinion I can hear the facts to, or whatever the hell my dad is going on about? I've been stuck with this nutcase for forever, I wanna be able to say something about it.

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m back! Temeraire Let’s Read:Tongues of Serpents

- Tharkay literally shows up at the beginning of the second sentence; STRONG start, I highly approve, great improvement on every level

fsdafhsadkjlfh cooly tossing tables and throwing people’s drinks in their faces in the bar brawl fkjsdhfksdalfhasdj this ain’t his first rodeo huh

- these dumbasses having to clean up from the bar brawl before going home so their dragons don’t go out there and demand to have a word with the dudes who bullied their lil boys... oh my  g o d 

- “it was true, if one wished to be very particular about such things, that laurence was a convicted felon”  t e m e r a i r e... ~*technicality schmechnicality*~ it was barely treason at all really  

also temeraire being in super protective mother hen/older brother mode over the eggs is perfect  

- Jane Rolands bluff, jovial letter writing is Everything

- “Have Temeraire throw him overboard,” Tharkay had suggested laconically, when Laurence had escaped to his quarters for a little relief and some piquet . . . “He can fish him out again later,” he added, as an afterthought.

A VISIONARY. An unmitigated joy. “Have Temeraire throw him overboard”. He says what we’re all thinking. 

- AAAAAAAAH MUTUAL FIRST NAME BASIS!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL WTF HAVE THEY BEEN DOING ON THIS TRIP TELL ME IN DETAIL WHEN THE SWITCH HAPPENED PLEASE (also I really like that the first instance we see is “But Tenzing, I cannot trust myself” b/c that was literally the whole point of that scene in VoE. laurence... yes you can. tfw your crush is the goodiest of twoshoes and can barely move for it and doesn’t even knoooow)

- y’know if Laurence could get over this thought that asking a direct question to a friend is just ~*intolerably rude*~ he could get so much shit done 

(I guess tharkay, clearly a follower of the rosa diaz school of ‘no one is ever going to know shit about me’, is like fuck yeah I’ve struck gold with this one)

- “So spake the pot” oh I do love Actually Pretty Chill Dad William Laurence finally letting the snark out more frequently, it suits him very much (I guess his main claims to fame in a lot of circles is a) treason and b) spoiling his dragon rotten)

- rankin’s name is mentioned and everyone’s like HIIISSSSSSSS and RIGHTLY SO FUCK THAT GUY JUSTICE FOR LEVITAS

- temeraire is talking to the egg about consent and saying he’ll make sure it won’t have to do anything it doesn’t want to fjklsadhfkaslhfsd my heart

- lol lol lol weeeell in hindsight who could’ve guessed captain and second in command of the dragon pirates would have a materialistic superficial kid huh

- . . . Granby said, with a look half affection and half exasperation oh granby baby still carrying that torch huh

- lol lol lol just the implication of sara maden and laurence silently tops up his drink and he’s like ‘cheers’ and they’re both quiet for a moment flskdfs 

if you think about it that must’ve been such a wild day in his life tho -- like first  Laurence furiously fires him for being gone at a crucial moment and then immediately unfires him when it turns out he’s been chasing a lead and being the only goddamn person really working on solving all their problems (as is his wont), then he finds out his ex is getting married and steadfastly pretends it doesn’t even bother him, lol what are feelings I heard only losers have them (extremely relatable -- I guess he must have known it was in the cards though, because he specifically tells Laurence at the beginning he didn’t intend to go back to Istanbul, so it’s been over for a while?) then they go on a life and death chase through the sewers, and THEN, before he knows it, after half a book of being kind of a mistrustful dick to him, Laurence does a 180° and is there offering eternal friendship with big soulful eyes after seeing him get upset one time and y’know I guess I see why that got to him lol 

- aw man I know it’s never going to happen but I am getting sort of wistful and teary-eyed over this pirate (cough cough I mean legally sanctioned privateer of course) AU that’s going entirely to waste

here are some tags I left on this superb piece of fanart: #I just got to the part where tharkay makes the suggestion and like... I know it's not happening #but what a shimmering tender mother of pearl dream to carry in one's heart lol #just a lil pirate family out there wrecking shit #temeraire would get wind of what the east india company actually does and they'd inevitably turn against them and fuck 'em up... *sigh* #fix it fic: the boys kiss and the east india company is stopped from committing further atrocities! all is well

so that’s basically my position on that

- “I’m sure there’s nothing too dangerous out there, in the fucking untamed Australian wilderness,” Temeraire said, tempting fate to a frankly anxiety-inducing extent 

- hell yeah demane is the only one with presence of mind to actually find some food; you go buddy <3

- my boy tharkay slinking off in the middle of the night without telling anyone and solving everyone’s problems... *dabs at eyes* just like old times

- oh wow rankin really is just a piece of shit in every way huh

- fhasdklhfsadfsad temeraire being like ‘I know tharkay is a strong independent human who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and don’t need no dragon... but also he’s clearly one of my humans tho why is he riding on another dragon :(’ THE CUTEST SHIT

- temeraire silently dissing his dad over refusing to believe in ghosts ~*except*~ for the holy spirit adslfhaskjdlhfs

- demane taking in the strange little hatchling... im crey... he truly hits me straight in the heart every time

also laurence steadfastly Doing The Right Thing and following his convictions is so deeply healing after all that bullshit he went through in the last book... makes me feel all safe and calm inside haha

- actually when you think about it it’s so fucked up that they apparently just straight up murder dragons with birth defects in england as a matter of course b/c like. dragons come out of the egg fully sentient and capable of understanding what’s being said around them. kulingile literally understood every word they were saying as they discussed whether or not they should be KILLING HIM.  j e s u s  thank god for demane and laurence’s stubborn insistence on being good

- temeraire going straight from mother hen to extremely impatient and jealous older brother the moment an egg hatches never gets old. all these dumb little babies just complaining and stealing his crew ugh (HOW FUCKING CUTE is him deciding kulingile could be a scholar or something tho #dragon rights)

- “I wish,” Temeraire said to Laurence, “I do wish that other dragons were not always thinking me peculiar . . . it makes one doubtful.” BABY BOY NOOOO he’s just so sweet and he’s so secretly scared that laurence might resent him a little after the whole treason business and OW right in the parental heart that fucks me up

- Temeraire’s indignant “Oh!”s always soothe my soul it’s so adorable

- little emily roland yelling “damn you all for cowards!” after a bunch of grown men fleeing while she reloads her gun and takes aim again is incredible poetic cinema (and also demane joining her... I love the bond they’ve got going on in the background here)

- aw poor sipho :( at least he still has temeraire to nerd out with and stuff but that’s some difficult shit to process for a kid

kulingile bobbing around tethered to temeraire like a small balloon at a fair is such an image, what a blessing, temeraire’s exasperated brand of babysitting is so funny

- laurence being a Dad to the kids in his crew... mana from heaven

- YESSS they crossed the endless miles of DEADLY AUSTRALIAN WILDERNESS so laurence could be MORTIFIED as the emperor’s adopted son at a party this is the content I am here for

- hell yeah let’s play a round of pimp my captain!!!!!!!!!!

“And,” Laurence said. “And you are certain that this should be appropriate for the occasion; not, perhaps, excessive?” I can’t  b r e a t h e  he can’t even say shit because his dragon boi is so happy fsaldfjsldhfasjlh and then granby making fond fun of him what a beautiful cherry on top of this sweet sweet laurence being embarrassed sundae 

- william ‘I’m here to kick ass and describe menswear in fastidious detail and I’ve already kicked my own ass twice today’ laurence strikes again

- this description of the dragons sitting around squabbling as they watch shiny sparkly things is the most endearing few pages in modern literature do not @ me

- it’s kind of fucked up that the emperor of china is giving laurence more of the sort of warmth and validation a father should than his actual dad ever did lol. u did good curing the dragon plague, weird european adopted son I am proud of you

- every time temeraire is really upset about something my soul suffers a small wound

thank god he doesn’t actually know what opium is really used for most of the time yet (also I am obligated to divulge that I am entirely charmed by tharkay’s sardonic yet clear eyed cynicism on the issue, I cannot be anything but what I am and he hasn’t had enough proper page time in this half of the book so I will take what I can get)  

- ...I kind of just realized that I imagine the sea serpents basically as long-ass gyaradoses... OH NO

I will say I respect the ‘give no fucks’ vibe they give off -- it’s a real ‘we’re here to eat fish & party and if you try to get in our way we’re gonna have you as a snack’ mood and I cannot fault them for it

- iskierka is such a fuckboi it’s glorious 

- nOOOOOO tharkay is leaving again fuck ;_______; is his life just an endless procession of semi-unwillingly having to go back to istanbul again these days 

Temeraire did not see why Tharkay should have to go so far, only to deliver news; and particularly when he did not seem as though he wished to go, very much. DDDDDDDD: THIS SUCKS you know that when a) he’s letting it show and b) temeraire notices it that he is dragging his heels big time over this lol

‘there can be very little to call you back to this part of the world any time soon’ LAURENCE YOU 24 KARAT IDIOT YOU ARE HERE HE CAME TO AUSTRALIA FOR YOU ALREADY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

all that said whenever I see a ‘Tenzing’ on the page my heart does a happy little dance. ah well now let’s settle in and wait for what horrible catastrophe will happen now that tharkay is gone... come back soon buddy

- ooooooooooooh that is so good, using the last chapter + epilogue to show how the... idk moral wound I guess laurence received victory of eagles has finally healed, that’s so reassuring. he just wants to do good things for good causes and can’t be badgered, cajoled, threatened or convinced to do anything less anymore and it’s all so sweet and well earned. that’s some good development through this book too, from ‘tenzing I cannot trust myself’ to this. excellent stuff

- while I did quite enjoy this book for the character moments it is incredibly weirdly structured? like the beginning drags a bit with the quite uninteresting colony politics and stuff but then they’re finally travelling and then... nothing really happens plot wise before the sea serpents freak the fuck out at the end there lol. I’m mostly a character-oriented reader tho so I’m pretty fine with it.

ETA: actually now that I think about it I’d say that my biggest gripe with this book is that it doesn’t engage at all with the perspective of the native australian people? even though one of the dragons settles down with one group? god knows it’s not like there was no time to dive into it, considering all that time spent in the fucking wilderness lol

we’re going to the inca empire next tho apparently fuck YEAH!!! that’s such an underexplored and extremely interesting part of history, my body is Ready