#you know how bad the kids at my school would be?

[andmaybegayer]

Wait what are the hilarious reasons you're bad at chess

The hilarious reason I'm bad at chess is that the chess club at my primary school was populated almost entirely by clowns who were so comically bad at chess that I played them for years without learning a single iota of strategy.

These kids. Man. They would blindly mirror my opening and then let me put them in a bishop pin and then distract their knight and take a queen in under ten moves multiple games *in a row*. Truly astonishing in retrospect. You could just clean them out and take every piece and perform some rudimentary checkmate without thinking at all.

There was one other guy who knew anything about chess, who was actually good at chess in the conventional way, and I could occasionally beat him and so I was like yeah I'm second best at chess of these 40 kids that's pretty good right? I had no idea that I had been checkmates georgd.

I didn't really play much chess after I left that school and when I finally picked it up again my opponents were like. Do you know how to play chess? You know the rules and the notation and even some relatively niche terminology but you play like shit. And eventually I figured out that I had gone through some kind of horrible fucked up reverse-gauntlet that allowed me to play hundreds of games and learn nothing.

[superiorsturgeon]

Jaune: *walks into Arc family living room to confront his mother* Mom, we need to talk!

Pyrrha: *following behind Jaune*

Mama Arc: *folds her arms* 🤨

Jaune: I know you’re just trying to protect me, and I know it’s not what you wanted for me…

Jaune: But Pyrrha is my partner and she’s not going anywhere!

Pyrrha: Yeah! How do you like THAT?! 😜

Pyrrha: *immediately hides behind Jaune* 😣

Jaune: *slowly turns* …Pyr…we talked about not doing that… 😑

Mama Arc: Look, Jaune, I’m not trying to control you, but you’re just so young! You don’t know what kind of hurt you could be setting yourself up for! Fame and celebrity can destroy a relationship, and I don’t want you to have to go through that!

Pyrrha: 😥

Mama Arc: Pyrrha may be your partner now while you’re both in school, but once you’re out in the real world-

Jaune: Mom, that’s enough! 😠

Mama Arc: *pulled up short* 😦

Jaune: *straightens up* Pyrrha is strong, skilled, and the greatest huntress I’ve ever met! But she’s also the sweetest, kindest, most loving and caring person in the world…

Jaune: *turns and takes Pyrrha’s hand* I know that she’s a celebrity, and a lot of people expect a lot from her, so there’s going to be a lot of tough stuff for us to deal with, but we’re partners and we’re going to figure it out together!

Pyrrha: 😳

Jaune: *smiles at Pyrrha* …I’m the luckiest person ever to have her as my partner, and I want to spend the rest of my life trying to be the partner Pyrrha deserves! 🥰

Pyrrha: 🥹

Mama Arc: *puts her hands on her hips and steps closer* …well, it sounds like you’re all grown up and making decisions now, aren’t you, Jaune? You left home for the first time and suddenly my little boy knows what he wants for the rest of his life? 🤨

Mama Arc: *somehow looming over her much-taller son* Well, Jaune, you’ve said your piece, and now it’s time for you to listen to your mother! 😡

Jaune/Pyrrha: 😰

Mama Arc: …I’m proud of you, Jaune! 😌

Jaune:

Pyrrha:

Jaune: …wha…?

Mama Arc: I did everything I could to change your mind about combat school, becoming a huntsman, and dating Pyrrha, but you stuck to your guns and showed me how much your partner and becoming a huntsman mean to you!

Mama Arc: You two have my blessing, and if you’re really determined to make this relationship work, then you have your mother’s complete support.

Jaune: *sags in relief* Wow…! Mom, thank you so much! I can’t begin to- 😮‍💨

Mama Arc: AH-AH-AH!!! But remember, I will be watching you both! I expect you to buckle down and treat combat school and your relationship seriously!

Mama Arc: And if you do something stupid…

Mama Arc: …like get Pyrrha pregnant while you’re still in school…

Mama Arc: …then I will be there like lightning to drag you home by your ear! 😠

Pyrrha: …oh…then I guess this would be a bad time for…the NEWS…😖

Jaune: 😨

Mama Arc: 🤯

Pyrrha: …I’m kidding! I’m just so excited!! 😆

[warning-heckboop]

"Hot take I guess: Peri was really bad at his job" god you're so real for this. like. peri is literally my favorite character but he's SO bad at the emotional aspects of godparenting and i wish people would acknowledge that instead of always presenting him as some kind of hyper empathetic super dad.

I'll be honest, I saw the beginning of this ask in my notifications, and I was like. "oh no, here we go, the Peri supporters are going to tear me apart"

I'm glad to know some people seem to agree! Like you said, I love Peri as a character, but part of what makes a good character good is that they aren't perfect. Like if Peri was the perfect god parent and then they made Dev the villain anyway, it would just be. Kinda bad writing imo? Like, yeah, a lot, if not all, of Dev's bad behavior stems from his dad's mistreatment and being raised spoiled. But that's part of the reason Peri is there. He's not just meant to wait around for Dev to ask for something and do nothing else until then, like he seems to think he is (again, see the birthday episode, both in regards to how Peri comments on pretty much exactly that when Dev comments that he could have been the one to give him something like the rocket boots instead of Hazel, as well as in regards to how Peri reacts when he sees Dev is upset in his dad's secret room, but instead of trying to comfort him himself he just. asks if he wants to wish for something. He makes zero effort to try to comfort Dev himself and instead puts it back on Dev to make the decision to comfort himself through the conduit of Peri's magic). A fairy god parent's job is to help their god kid with what makes them miserable, and for Dev, a large part of what makes him miserable is his own bad behavior. But instead of trying to help him work on that, Peri just gets moody in return.

He gets the wish granting part of being a god parent just fine, but that's about it. It's like. You know when someone is book smart and does really well in school, but then when they try to apply it to real life, they're a mess? Thats how I see Peri. He's a great god parent on paper, but in action? He's lacking some key skills they probably don't test you on in god parent school.

If we do get a season 2, I REALLY hope they address Peri's flaws as well as Dev's. They both need a redemption arc imo, and I don't think either can really fully make up for their mistakes without growing together!

[preppyacademy]

From a meaningless virtual life to the preppy boy I am now

Elliot's story

To convince you to come to the Preppy Academy, here's Elliot's personal testimonial. His life has changed radically thanks to our school's methods. The following are his words: 

Hello, my name is Elliot, I'm 20. I'm a student at the Preppy Academy. I'd like to thank M.Gilliard, our principal, who has asked me to write an account of my time here. 

Two years ago, I was still living with my father. I often dressed in sportswear; I loved Adidas clothes, so comfortable and easy to put on. Did I do any sport? No, not at all, but my mates dressed the same, so I followed suit. When I wasn't at school, I used to play video games all the time. I wore my clothes for days on end because I was too lazy to change. My bedroom was a real dump, with everything strewn all over the place. My diet consisted of eating chips and drinking sodas. 

My father was fed up with my bad behavior. He works in business, economics, something like that. My mother left us when I was a kid, and since then it's just been me and him. He'd tell me to “tidy my room”, “get dressed properly”. But I didn't give a damn, soon, I thought, I'll be able to leave soon, and I thought I'd be able to live with a friend in a flat-share for a bit of fun. 

There was a week when I made a decision that I had regretted at the time but that now makes me what I am. That week, it was at the beginning of my school year and I was playing a game that was too epic and I wanted to do it too much, so I made my dad think I was going to high school while I was pretending. Then, when he left for work, I'd come back and play on my P.S. console. But my stupidity caught up with me, and my father was contacted by the school and told of my repeated absences. It was a Thursday lunchtime, I remember, and he came home to find me quietly in bed. He came into my dirty room and said: 

" Elliot, that's enough! You're not going to school anymore, you're dressing like crap. Look at you, you've got holes in your clothes. You haven't washed or combed your hair in days. Things are going to change for you. A colleague at work told me about a boarding school that would be perfect for you. "

I was on my phone when he said this so I half-listened, as usual. He was clearly desperate about my behavior and had every reason to be. Now I understand. At the end of the afternoon, my father called me and reminded me that he had to take me to the dentist for an annual check-up. I'd completely forgotten, it wasn't something I was interested in remembering. I stayed in the same clothes and he took me to the dentist. I really didn't remember the appointment. Once there, my father accompanied me inside. A waiting room with other parents and their teenagers. There were guys from high school, who were also dressed in sweatpants and sweatshirts and sneakers. I wasn't the only one who dressed like that, which is why it seemed normal to do so. When it was my turn, the dentist called me in. I sat down in his dentist's chair. He asked me to lie down so he could check the inside of my mouth. He put some products in my mouth to relax it. And these products were starting to put me to sleep; he'd put in more than usual. 

I had fallen asleep on his armchair, I didn't know for how long. When I woke up, my hands were tied tightly to the chair. I tried to speak, but my mouth was still anesthetized. My father was talking to the dentist, and they were both looking at me. My father had collected my things, my bag and my phone. Looking around, I soon realized that I wasn't really at the dentist. The man posing as one approached me and said: 

"Elliot, your father, has informed us of your behavior at home and has decided to leave you with us for a while. Do you agree? "

I couldn't answer as my mouth was still anesthetized. 

" Since you're not answering my question, I imagine you're completely in agreement. If you don't say anything within a minute, we'll assume you agree."

I was trying to speak to refuse and scream for help, but only discreet moans came out. 

" Then we do have your agreement. "

My eyes began to tire again and I finally dozed off again.

I don't know what treatment he gave me, but it was like a dissociation. I saw myself outside my body like a ghost looking at my body. My father left with my things. The staff laid me properly on the bed and undressed me. I was completely naked at one point. They put a red ball in my mouth and covered my mouth with a gag that held with a tight strap behind it. I was as if unable to act, in the hands of my kidnappers. They dressed me in a white short-sleeved polo shirt, buttoned all the way up, tucked into khaki shorts with a brown belt, white knee-high socks and black loafers. They then cut my hair and styled it, neatly styled to the side and held with wax. I began to regain consciousness little by little, but I felt as if I were paralyzed in my own body, between the products that were still taking effect and the bonds that prevented me from fleeing. 

"Elliot, you're back with us. We've prepared you in a more respectable outfit than the garbage you used to wear. This preppy outfit suits you much better. Your hair looks much better like this. You probably have a lot of questions, but you're in good hands. I'm Doctor Greenwood, I'm here when sometimes you need a little push to get you into the Academy. I'll leave you here tonight and you'll make your official entrance tomorrow. "

I was stuck on this bed for several hours, and above me they'd set up a screen with a series of images and sounds that I had no choice but to watch. And no matter how tempted I was to close my eyes, a deep voice kept reading every word on the moving image. Eventually, I fell asleep to the rhythm of the video, which hypnotized me as it went along. 

“I want to be a preppy boy. Good preppy boys must obey, serve, submit, behave. Good boys comply. I want to be a good preppy boy” again and again and again...

This mantra was stuck in my head like music that never wants to come out. I still felt resistance, an urge to rebel and run away, but I was blocked and strangely began to feel pleasure at the idea of being a good preppy boy. 

When I woke up, four men in their thirties, all dressed in pastel shirts tucked into their pants, with bowties and loafers, took me by force. They took me by the arms and forced me to follow them. They put me in a van and tied me up. My gag was still in my mouth and I couldn't scream. I was at their mercy, with no power or control over the situation. I was their object. 

I was taken to a large, ivy-league type establishment, at the top of the main entrance is written “Preppy Academy”. I was led inside and up the stairs. I arrive in a very elegant office, with wood paneling and bookcases on every wall. The 4 men undress me.

I find myself in a preppy outfit: a white and blue striped OCBD shirt, pastel yellow shorts, red and blue suspenders, a dark blue and red striped tie tied around my neck, long white knee-high socks and dark loafers. Nothing to do with my outfits at home. I've been completely transformed into a preppy boy. I'm left with my hands tied and my mouth gagged in this office. I don't know what to do, I'm a slave to this establishment. My outfit isn't as comfortable as the one at home, I can feel the fabric of my shirt on my torso compressing me, the suspenders holding my shorts are like two ropes binding my outfit to my body, the pulled-up socks are so humiliating, I feel like a boy. But as I think I'm disgusted by my outfit, I realize that it actually turns me on. I like to think I have to be dressed like this to feel good. A few minutes later, a man in his fifties walks in. He's dressed in a nice three-piece suit, with a red tie. He looks at me deeply: 

"Hello Elliot! Welcome to the Preppy Academy. Your father told me you weren't behaving properly at home. He contacted us and paid for your enrollment. Whether you like it or not, you're staying here. You'll wake up here and sleep here. Your education needs to be reviewed. You must learn to be a good preppy boy for your superiors. I am M.Gilliard, the principal of this prestigious establishment. I am the Master of all the students here. You owe me obedience, submission, service and respect. "

These words enchanted me, and even though I wanted to leave, I could only nod in agreement. 

"To complete your admission among us, I must collect something. "

The 4 young men from earlier return and make me sit down on the chair, holding me tight. Mr. Gilliard unzips my pants and pulls out my penis. I start moaning, not agreeing with what's happening. Mr.Gilliard puts a sort of cage on my penis, forcing it to stay very small and any erection would hurt. 

" It's called a chastity cage. I'm the only one who keeps the keys. Every good boy here is caged. Your personal pleasure doesn't matter; you're here to obey and learn to serve. Your only satisfaction at the end of the day is to please men superior to you. "

“I want to be a preppy boy. Good preppy boys must obey, serve, submit, behave. Good boys comply. I want to be a good preppy boy”. This phrase made more and more sense. I was introduced to the establishment, the rules to follow and taken to a room I had to share, with a wardrobe full of preppy clothes, nothing I'd had before. 

I've been here for two years now and I don't want to leave. I like to serve my Master when he asks for it. I like being a good preppy boy. Obedient and helpful. I don't miss my old life anymore. I encourage all boys and men to come to the Preppy Academy. You'll love it! 

[littlemisscantloveyouback]

Hii! I just found your works and I am IN LOVEEEE OMGGG 🫶🫶

I’m not too good at requesting these things, but could I ask for a Logan Howlett x short! AFAB reader?

I’m 4’11 and haven’t grown since sophomore year of high school, and everyone I know comments on it in every sort of way, and usually in a demeaning, teasing kind of way. (Like, going out of their way to make fun of me and stuff I can’t do, or how they can’t take me seriously). And no one listens to me when I tell them that it’s starting to hurt my feelings or be annoying lol

It can be a full fic or just a couple HC’s, up to you!!! Please take your time and don’t forget to take care of yourself 🫶

YES OFC I wish I got more asks bru

Anyway thank you

Tw ⚠ : short reader, afab reader, sexual tension, sexual talking, protective logan, masturbation (f),

You lay in you bed not wanting to go downstairs, logan had been gone for days on a mission for Xavier to find another mutant and she had to sub for Storm because because there both gone.

Logan was supposed to call you after class so you reluctantly got up got dressed and went downstairs to the classroom, you always hated leaving your room without Logan he was practically your bodyguard because of how some of the other girls treated you because of your hight you are 4'11 after all and they always told you she looked like a kid but when logan stepped in they left you alone.

There was even a time when you almost threw the girl into the fountain for bullying her but logan put a stop to it ever since then he always took a liking to you.

You made it to the classroom with no run-ins land waited for your students to show up for class you were teaching how to control your powers with mind, body and soul.

Storm is better then me with children

You thought to yourself as the kids started walking in, you waved at them as they took there seats and began your lesson.

After you were done you got a call from logan.

"Hey bub." He talked into the phone, you looked down at the floor wishing he was here instead.

"I'm really hungry,but the kids were fine," you walked back to your room. "And I miss you when will you be back?"

He looked around the hotel. "Me and the others should be back tomorrow afternoon." You laid in bed and looked at his side.

"I want you so bad loagn I wish you were here with me," he regretted taking this mission knowing it would be stressful for you. "Touching me, and telling me I'm yours." You moaned into the phone.

His pants tightened thinking of you laying on your bed waiting for him.

"Trust me honey I'll be there soon enough, now sit and be a good girl for me when I get back I love you." He hung up the phone after your goodbyes

And you sat there trying to fall asleep but after three hours you just gave up, you couldn't stop thinking about Logan and the way he would have gotten you to sleep, rubbing your back and your thighs.

I wonder what he would do to me right now ?

You thought to yourself as you rubbed your inner thigh, your hand had other plans when it started rubbing your clit thinking about him

You picked up your phone to call him and see if he's awake, turns out he was

"Logan." You moaned, he could here the wet sounds from the other end of the line.

"Y/n you need to go to bed, I can't talk there gonna here you." He quietly yelled at you.

"No please I need you now loagn I can't wait any longer." You mewled.

"Y/n please you need to wait So i can actually fuck you." Logan couldn't lie the thought of you playing with yourself was making him hard but he had to control himself or he was gonna wake up Storm.

Your orgasm was coming, and he knew it. "Baby, I want you inside me, please." You begged as you came over the phone.

He hated when you did this sometimes you always got what you wanted when you called him like this and he wasn't gonna just let you tease him he wants to touch you but your not here and he's gonna put a stop to it.

"Y/n stop calling me horny when you know I can't touch you like I want, your teasing me your gonne be the death of me." He hung up the phone.

You gasped not believing he just hung up the phone on you like that.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Ok how do we feel about me writing logan I love hugh jackman and I was waiting for something like this should I make a part two?

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

oh ye children of lands that probably know more about this than i do

i humbly ask your opinion

so ive talked before abt how bad my knees are, right?

so i finally went to the doctor, he was really nice, said something something something its a problem with my plica, which are little folds in the lining of my knee left over from growing as a kid. and theres no treatment except for a really invasive and potentially useless surgery.

but!

that doesnt stop me from being in near-constant pain!!!!!

and i have a velcro knee "brace" thing, but mostly what it does is make my knee sweaty and sometimes hurt more. and also both of my knees hurt, and i only got one brace.

all this to say, i'm going antiquing with my brother this weekend, and i know for a fact that a few of the antique stores we're plannin on goin to have one of those like buckets of just. antique canes.

do you see where i am going.

i have this thing in my head. that tells me that a cane might help. but then it tells me that it would make me look like im faking it to get a cool cane. (which the looking cool thing would only be a bonus tbh)

so i humbly ask of ye, oh cane users and really bad leg pain havers, what do i do? do i ignore my pain, potentially to the detriment of my knee lining, or do i get a cane and look like i'm faking?

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

[tatsumi-rin]

Moral Orel doesn't seem 100% like a show I'd feel seen in if you don't know me but then I remember the episode with the special ed kids and underneath the usual satire on extremist bible belt religion it reminds me WAY too much of how actual special ed departments treated me and other kids growing up.

Like the writers must HAVE BEEN THERE IN LIFE, man. I'd kill to sit down with Dino Stamatopoulos and find out what the fuck inspired him and the other writing staff that day.

[mallevsmaleficarum]

alright, since all important faculty members are evil, maybe augefort is the bbeg for senior year

[slightlytoastedbagel]

actually On Your Feet gave us two good things (well. three if you like Realize which I do). Kohane's "it's frustrating" line and the great crack fic idea of Vivid Bad Squad getting cancelled online for skipping school to yell at The Kotaki Taiga as he was about to go back to America.

[ocpdzim]

what you’ve got to understand about working conditions in education (and also other care-oriented careers) is that if they’re shit, two things are true at once:

that does not ever excuse being cruel to a kid, no matter what

until those conditions are fixed, education will continue to suck absolute shit

this is because when working conditions for teachers are really bad, many of the good teachers who recognize when they are reaching a point where they can no longer be the sort of teacher the kids deserve due to burnout WILL quit. they will do the responsible thing and go away for their own sake and the sake of the kids. and you end up stuck w a combination of new teachers who are trying their best but won’t last long, burnt out teachers who are trying their best but have nothing left to give and therefore aren’t very effective at actually teaching, and cockroach shitheads who take out their misery on the kids.

we have all had terrible experiences with bad teachers, many of them flat out traumatic, but for fuck’s sake please try to look at the systemic underpinnings of the problem for one minute. spitefully declaring that teachers don’t deserve good working conditions or even the right to complain about bad working conditions because ms. whoever in 5th grade was a bitch is only going to create more of her. if you want good teachers then we need an education system they can survive in

[titsthedamnseason]

something just clicked in my brain i have no idea why i can’t stop thinking of them suddenly but ttpd has major blackstairs implications

[shadesoflsk]

rookie cop leon who meets teacher!reader at a kindergarten

[karmaphone]

actually you know what I'm not done talking about this. do you know what it would have meant to fat girls to see a fat Carrie rip her abusers to shreds in 1976. Sissy Spacek did a wonderful performance but it absolutely does not carry the nuance that the book did, or the literal weight that the book did, because she wasn't bullied for being fat or pig-like or ox-like or big or slow. a fat girl wasn't tripped and laughed at for physically blundering after she was covered in pig blood after the first and only time in her life she ever felt even remotely beautiful or even marginally accepted, and so her breakdown scene means significantly less

[serendipitous-mage]

......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier

[vaugarde]

"i just dont understand how a sane person could think of this" in response to a perfectly cute little piece based on a silly little image. i am attacking people with hammers