#you lot ask a lot of ethical shit and I can only answer in the best way I know how

[rainybubbles]

How do you accidentally confess to COD men ?

Soap, Ghost, Alejandro, Gaz, König, Alex, Price

(Sorry in advance for my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue. So sorry if it's badly written)

S O A P :

-"I can't lose you, Soap. Shit, you're important to me," you say while crying.

-"...I'm flattered, but can you focus on fixing my leg first?" he says.

-You blinked awkwardly.

-Let's start over and try to understand this, shall we?

-Well, you were a nurse working on a military base.

-When all the doctors asked you to wake up at 3 AM, you knew something had happened. You ran to the infirmary and saw Soap.

-He was heavily injured.

-Your heart skipped a beat.

-You and Soap had known each other since his enlistment.

- You were just an apprentice nurse, and he was a cadet. He always burnt something, and you were there to look after him, even when he accidentally burnt the ass of his sergeant.

-You had a crush on him since that time, but you decided a long time ago not to act on it.

- Soap was clearly not interested in you, and he had gone out with a lot of people.

-You can definitely say you're not his type at all, and you like your bond the way it is.

-But now, seeing him like this, it was different. Your heart was overwhelmed, and your mouth spoke before you could filter what you said.

-"I can't lose you, Soap. Shit, you're important to me," you say while crying.

-"...I'm flattered, but can you focus on fixing my leg first?" he says.

-You blinked awkwardly.

-"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm not ethical at all. You need help, and I'm talking nonsense."

-You helped the doctors and quickly went outside when you finished, in order to think about what had just happened.

-"Shit, it was so awkward. I really thought we were in a movie or something," you said, angry at yourself.

-"Well, honestly, it was fun to see you like that. I mean, it could have been the climax of a movie if Ghost had started to play the violin, and a slow-mo started on your face," a voice joked.

-You turned around and saw Soap.

-"You're supposed to lay down. You can't walk."

-"What can I say? Seeing you make miracles," he says with a smirk.

-You sighed and walked towards him, offering your arms to lead him to a bed. He smiled.

-"I'm sorry for what happened. I shouldn't have said that," you said.

-"But you mean it?"

-"That's not the point. It was not the moment, and I know the answer. It was just cringe."

-"...damn, loving me is cringe?" Soap said teasing you.

-"That's- you know that's not what I mean."

-"Yes, I know. I feel the same, by the way."

-"But you..."

-"It's been three months, I realize. I know it's longer for you."

-"You noticed," you realized, all these years thinking you were good at hiding it were in fact obvious to him.

-"Yes, but you decided not to tell anything, so I never acted on it. But I...I feel the same now, and you almost confessed, so can you give me a chance?"

-"You mean when you can take me on a date and not bleed to death?" you said, looking at his injuries.

-"Yes," he chuckled.

-"Okay," you whispered, scared that it was a dream.

-"Okay," he repeated with a smile.

G H O S T :

-"WHAT DO I DO NOW ?!" you screamed and looked at your friend.

-"Just...explain to him."

-"Oh yeah and how do you explain why I send him a fucking eggplant emoji at 4 AM without anything ?" you screamed panicked

-"Tell him the truth." your friend casually says.

-"He won't believe me. Like 'hey I sent you this emoji not because I want to fuck you, but because my brother sent me a lot of memes with eggplant so every night we sent this emoji to each other laughing. And I made a mistake and sent this to you, not him. Nobody does that. He won't believe me." you sigh."Oh fuck, he rode the text."

-"Well...he's your crush no ? I mean you talk about him often so if anything happens it could be good."

-"Yes he is, but I don't want to confess, not now. Fuck, I only met him like three times and only thanks to Soap. We're just acquaintance. I only have his number because I'm Soap's emergency contact."

-"And now he thinks you want to fuck him." your friends resumes

-"Thanks for your help." you say sarcastically."Shit he's writing, what would he say ?"

-"Well I bet on a peach emoji."

-You looked at your friend and showed them your middle finger.

-"What if I make things awkward and-"

-"You are always awkward."your friend interrupts you.

-"...thanks for your support." you said ironically.

-"I mean the worst is that he says no and when you'll meet again the only thing he remembers will be this fucking emoji. That's fine."your friend says.

-"No. I don't want to be the eggplant emoji in his mind."

-"It's too late."

-A ring interrupted your conversation.

-"It's him." you said looking at your notification.

-"And ?"

-"He sent a comma."

-"A comma?" your friend asks lost

-"Yes."

-"what does it mean ?"

-"I DON'T KNOW ! Does it mean he stops to breathe, or I should breathe or-"

-"Or he made a mistake and typed wrong."

-"No, he's good with his hands."

-"I don't want to know how you know that." your friend says looking at you

-"...I wasn't implying anything weird. He's a fucking military." you answered.

-"Ok. So what do you do ?"

-"I could send a comma too ?"

-"Yay revise your punctuations with Y/N and Ghost." your friend says ironically.

-"I...oh fuck, he sent another text."

-"And ?" your friend asks

-"Does the eggplant be used to convey a desire to meet me or is it some weird shit like Soap does usually,"you read out loud his text

-"he texts like a grandpa." your friend comments

-"Fuck you." you say.

-"Calm down, I'm just saying the truth. You should answer it's because you want him."

-"No way, I told you we're acquaintances. I have a crush yes, but we don't know each other well and I-"

-Ting.

-Another text from him.

-"Because it's okay in both cases." he texted you.

-"Oh fuck." you say with your eyes widen.

-"You can say that again !" your friend laughs.

A L E J A N D R O :

-Being a soldier means living in a community. And even if sometimes you're lucky and have your own little room, it's obviously not a hotel.

-So when Alejandro was doing a patrol to check everyone was asleep, he didn't expect to overhear you.

- But it was normal, the walls were thin and he could hear Rudy's snore from here.

-So yes, he heard you talking in your sleep.

-Except it was a fever dream you were having, and it was his name you were whispering.

-He froze.

-He didn't want to intrude, so he stepped back, but it was too late.

- He heard you clearly because of those thin walls.

-The next morning, when all his soldiers were eating together and you were present he couldn't stop looking at you. He didn't know what to do.

-He was not a moron, and he didn't want to confront you about that, but keeping this silent was also horrible.

-"Everything is good, Ale?" Rudy asks.

-"...I overheard something."

-"Let me guess, two soldiers making out? It's like the fourth time this week. Are they rabbits or what?" Rudy sighs at the new cadets.

-"No, it was not two soldiers," Alejandro answers.

-"Oh." Rudy realizes, "oh. Well...it's also common to do it solo. Why are you making this a big deal?"

-"Because they say my name."

-Rudy chokes on his bread and starts laughing.

-"Why do you find this funny?" Alejandro whispers angrily.

-"Because you seem all flustered. You're usually a smooth talker, but you seem so shy about it. It's not the first time a soldier has a crush on you, Alejandro."

-"I know, but it's different."

-"And why is it different?"

-"It's them."

-Rudy smirks.

-"I see."

-"But I can't say I overheard them, but I want to tell them I feel the same. How do I do this when all I could think when I see them is this memory?"

-"Be honest, you don't know how to lie. You're an honest man, Alejandro."

-"You're right, I have to tell them," Alejandro says. He's brave, he can do that.

-"They're coming, good luck," Rudy says and winks.

-You sit at your usual place, greeting everyone, and look at Alejandro.

-"Is everything okay?" you ask him when you notice his expression.

-"I overheard you," he says blankly out of nowhere.

"...can you be more clear, because I have no idea what you're talking about?" you say lost.

-"Last night, I was checking if everyone was asleep and I overheard you saying my name in a feverish dream."

-You raise your eyebrows and smirk.

-"Is that so?"

-He notices the smirk.

-"Why are you smirking?"

-"Because I was on cleaning duty this night; it's Mina who was in my room."

-"Oh."

-"Yes. I guess you have to talk to her," you say.

-"You're right. Sorry, I didn't know."

-"That's okay, but if I may ask, what were you planning to do after telling me this?" you tease him.

He notices your playful tone and smirks back.

-"That you don't need to dream, you can have me in real life."

-"Smooth, really smooth, Alejandro."

He smiles.

-"So it's a yes?"

-"Yes, but you still have to talk to Mina. I wasn't joking; it was her in my room last night."

G A Z :

-It was a night mission.

-You were waiting with the 141 for the order to go.

-It's been hours since you were waiting, and you knew after this mission you probably couldn't see the 141 again.

-Because you were in a different unit, and your collaboration was only for this mission.

-So you knew it was probably the moment to shoot your shot with Gaz.

-You inhale and go to his figure lying in the dark.

- "Gaz, I know we get along with each other. I can't count how many nights we spent just talking to each other on the base or even how many times we laugh together.I...I'm interested in you in more of a friend way. I know it's horrible to say that now, but afterward, it will be too late. So yeah." You say.

-Silence.

-You only hear silence as the figure doesn't move.

-You feel your heart aching.

-Shit, is he rejecting you in silence without saying anything?

-You look at the ground.

-"I think you should activate your vision nocturne, soldier. Gaz is at your right."

-Shit.

-Shit, shit, shit.

- You open your eyes wide.

-You...you just confessed to Price thinking it was fucking Gaz.

-"Shit, I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean that obviously. I-"

-"Calm down, soldier. And go talk to him. We still have time here, but look at who you're talking to." Price teases you.

-You nod and walk towards Gaz ashamed.

- "Are you okay?" Gaz asks.

-"I just made the worst mistake of my life."

-"What did you say? Did you say to Price he had a nice ass or what?" Gaz jokes to light up the mood.

- You stay silent.

-Gaz opens his mouth. "No, you-"

-"It wasn't his ass. But yeah, I basically confessed to him, because I mistook him for someone else. ?Because obviously in the dark without night vision you can't see anything."

-Gaz laughs.

-"Stop laughing, it's horrible. I'm the worst, he probably will report me."

-"No, he knew it wasn't for him, didn't he ?"

- "Yes, but it...I'm feeling so ashamed."

-"With who do you think mistake him for?" Gaz asks.

-"I don't answer that question. I have made enough confessions for today."

-"Come on, tell me."

-"Nope."

-"Let me guess then."

-"We're only five here, I don't want to let you guess."

-"Soap?"

-"Gaz, I said no."

-"Because if it's him, I don't think he-"

-"You. It was you." You say to shut him up. "Happy, now?"

-He stays silent. You look at him.

-"Yes," he says, smiling. "Even though I'm jealous that Price got the whole speech, it felt like I'm only having the crumbs." He teases you.

-"Shut up," you smile.

-"But I'm happy, I feel the same."

-"Good, because I have enough rejection for today."

-"Ohhhh, Price's rejection is not a good experience?" He jokes.

-"I could never again look at him in the eyes," you say.

K Ö N I G :

-"I thought you were just getting to know him," Soap says.

-"Yes. And that's why I was doing."

-"So could you explain how König ended up with his vest burnt if you were just talking ?" Gaz says skeptical.

-"I...well I was lighting the vanilla candle and he was here, with his eyes and I-"

-"You were checking him out and didn't pay attention to the matchstick, isn't it ?" Soap asks.

-"I was absorbed by his eyes ! They're like so beautiful and he was so close, I-"

-"You burnt his vest." Gaz says.

-"Thanks for the reminder, Gaz. I know now my chances are ruined with him. Shit. The worst is that I can't tell him why I accidentally burnt his vest, so now he thinks I hate him."

-"Well you could find an excuse." Soap says.

-"What excuse could explain a burnt vest, Mr. explosion ?" you asked.

-"You wanted to test if his vest was fireproof." Soap tried

-"..." you said.

-"..." Gaz said.

-Soap sighed.

-"Ok it's not a good one. But I'm trying to help, okay ?"

-"I have to tell him the truth. I don't want him to think I hate him. He's so gentle with us."

-"He's here. Go !" Gaz said as he pushed you.

-You opened your eyes wide. You didn't expect you would have to do that so soon.

-You walked anxiously towards him.

-When he saw you, he stepped back a little.

-It hurt you, but it was fair after the incident.

-"Hey, König, I- I wanted to explain what happened."

-He looked at you and just nodded, waiting for your explanation.

-"In fact I burnt your vest because I was admiring your eyes.I was gazing at you. And I didn't concentrate at all on the candle and I let the matchstick fall. I'm sorry."

-He opened his mouth. He didn't know what to say.

-"I- you were gazing at me ?"

-"Yes, I find you beautiful. But it's not an excuse for what happened. I should have paid more attention to the candle" you said honestly.

-"Thanks for the compliment and the apology"

-"I hope that you don't have any grudges, or you don't think I hate you. I wanted to make it clear."

-"Oh no, well, I know it was an accident. You seem..." he stopped himself to find the right word to described how much you were screaming and scared "terrified ?"

-"Yes." you confirmed.

-"So I knew it was not intentional, but I didn't understand why. But now I know."

-"Cool, so we're okay ?" you asked.

-"You don't want to know ?"

-"Know what ?"

-"If I find you beautiful too ? If I'm gazing at you sometimes ?"

-"Oh, no. I mean I didn't expect anything, so don't feel pressured or anything and-"

-"Because I do." he interrupts you.

-"Oh."

-"Yes."

-"So if I ask you on a date ?"

-"Yes."

-"Cool, cool, cool," you said anxiously but happy

-"Tonight ?" he asked.

-"YES ! I mean, yes of course."

-He smiled under his mask and left. You walked back to Soap and Gaz.

-"So ?" Gaz asked.

-"I have a date."

-"WHAT ?" Gaz said.

-" WHY DID Y/N HAVE A DATE WHEN THEY PUT HIM ON A FIRE AND I CAN'T EVEN HAVE ONE ?!" Soap whined

-You laughed. You didn't know why, but you definitely knew you were lucky he said yes.

A L E X :

-You were a barista at a coffee shop. You were taking Alex's order as usual, since he was a regular when your colleague interrupted you.

-"I prepared the order of the regular hottie you were talking about."

-You looked up at Alex.

-You looked at your colleague.

-He opened his eyes wide.

-"Oh shit" your colleague said.

-"I'm sorry Alex." You said, "This one is on the house and the next time my colleague will serve you. Sorry again." You gave him his coffee and left in the backs now not only your chances were ruined, but you could be possibly fired.

-Shit, it was unprofessional to talk with your colleagues about your crushes on some clients.

-But this was worst because the said client knew that now.

-He knew he was the hottie.

-"Hey", your colleague said after few minutes "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

-"That's okay you couldn't guess he was here. In fact you could because it was his order, but yeah..."

-"But I'm happy."

-"Happy ?" you said a little angry by his remarks now.

-"He let you that." he said giving you a paper.

-"What..." you took the paper and saw a number :"glad to be called a hottie by a hottie, call me."

-"oh wow"

-"It's like a romantic movie !"

-"Absolutely not."

-"YESSSSSSSS" your colleague teased you.

-"I'm just glad to not be fired right now."

P R I C E :

-You were an interpreter. During a long, boring brief, you were chatting with Gaz.

-"Nikolai, Lasswell, Price. Kiss, marry, kill," he says.

-"Lasswell is married, Gaz." you answer.

-"Then Ghost."

-"I kill Nikolai."

-"You dare to kill him!" Gaz says shocked.

-"I mean, I like him. He's a good guy, but I don't know him well. So yes, kill him, kiss Ghost, and marry Price."

-"Your judgment is so biased," Gaz says laughing.

-"Biased?"

-"You only marry Price because you like him."

-"Yeah, that's the point of the game. It's based on preferences, Gaz," you say.

-He smiles.

-"You don't deny what I say."

-"It's because that's obvious, I have a thing for him. Plus, everybody knows Price is like the perfect husband material."

-"Hmm, thanks for your comment," a voice says.

-You and Gaz look at each other.

-The whole room is staring at you.

-Lasswell points the microphone at your right, which is still on.

-"Fuck," you say and your voice echoes throughout the room.

-"Sorry about that," Gaz says, and he switches off the microphone.

-"We are so dead," Gaz says.

-"I am so dead, you mean. I'm surprised if they don't replace me with another interpreter at the end of the day."

-The meeting ends, but as Gaz and you are leaving, you hear Price calling you.

-You hesitate but walk towards him.

-"You know what I'm about to say."

-"Yes, Sir, it was inappropriate, and we should have paid attention to the brief. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. As you can guess, my goal was not to let this slip," you answer.

-Price nods.

-"Good. You can leave."

-You leave the room.

-You thought it was the end, Price clearly rejects you.

-Yet a few weeks later, when the mission ended, Price approached you.

-You were sitting at the bar with the 141 celebrating the success.

-"So you're not working with us anymore," he said.

-"Yeah, that's the end of my mission." You answered, smiling.

-"So it's not inappropriate if I ask you on a date?"

-"A date? Wait, you-"

-"I keep my work and personal life separated."

-"Shit, so if you didn't say anything, it was because we were colleagues."

-"And because it was fun to see you defeated," he chuckles.

-"You're mean." You laugh. "But that's a yes."

If you want more my Call of Duty masterlist : here

My masterlist : here

[spacelazarwolf]

that college post is wild. as an engineer (with a degree in engineering) the idea that we're either taught everything we need to know in grad school or on the job so we can just basically ignore our bachelors is crazy! your bachelors degree is the foundational knowledge you need so you can be taught in grad school or on the job! (maybe not for all jobs, but for stuff like engineering at least)

like to be completely honest here, i already struggle some to apply what i learned in college to what i do now. but without a doubt if i tried to do this job having completely cheated my way through my bachelors i would be absolutely fucked rn.

(also ai cheating sucks anyway, if youre gonna cheat at least do it the old fashioned way so that you can network with your classmates and build better support systems.)

yeah!

when i was in college i had a professor who was very much anti-establishment, he'd struggled through college himself so he knew what it was like, he had a lot of empathy for me and my difficulties keeping up with endless assignments and essays etc. he was probably one of the only teachers i'd ever worked with who didn't make me feel like shit for my very obvious untreated adhd. he's the reason i made it through. he also taught a class where the tests were the exact same every time and had been for years, and he knew full well people were passing around old copies of those tests so people could memorize the answers. he said as long as we were getting what we wanted to out of the class he didn't care. we were never going to be asked to do what we had to do on those tests in real life. we just needed the knowledge he was sharing in the actual class, it was the administration that forced him to give tests.

that, to me, is an ethical form of cheating. having an ai, that has probably ripped work from people who had no idea their work was being integrated into an ai, to write an entire essay? no. writing is an important skill! everyone has to do it in some form or another! i know it sucks but just write the essay! even if it sucks! even if you have to rush through it! even if you have to ask for an extension! it's better to turn in a paper that's kind of shitty than one that is very clearly written by ai and might get you in huge trouble. you'll never learn anything from the ai essay. you might learn something from feedback on the shitty essay.

[kdinjenzen]

On the whole SE thing, I have a question because I agree with you fully about the AI crap, but I have been full hyperfixation excited for Rebirth, which is saying a lot because life has been soul sucking shit and mustering enthusiasm for anything has been an uphill battle. Where is the line for supporting a cause you firmly believe in, and self indulgence that contradicts that for the sake of personal pleasure? It feels like I either stick to the fight and let something positive to me go or ignore it for myself, which just feels selfish and wrong. This has been eating at me since that news dropped and I don't know if there is a right answer or if any of this even makes sense outside of my own mad rambling. Any input?

13,000+ people were laid off just within the video game industry last year. All the big corps who did those layoffs said “no, Ai won’t replace anyone” and then announced heavy dealings with Ai generated writing, art, animation, etc.

Over 13,000 people… and that’s just in video games.

That’s not counting other branches of the entertainment industry which have also said “no, Ai won’t replace anyone” and then also announced they’d be dipping into Ai generated writing, art, animation, etc after doing massive layoffs.

And if you’re thinking “Ai isn’t that far along” - Disney used Ai generated content for the intro to one of its Marvel Disney+ series last year, SE already has Ai artwork in their games and in their promotional materials, and Valve now allows generative Ai (artwork, animations, assets, voices, etc) developed games on their platform.

The only thing businesses, corporations, CEOs/Owners, etc understand is money. If you talk big talk on social media and can’t back that talk up by not buying a thing, they’ll just use the money you gave them to prove you wrong.

The generative Ai companies have already shown their whole ass by having massive lists leaked of artists, animators, voice actors, musicians, etc that they’ve stolen from. You can’t even pretend “well maybe it’s actually ethical and they asked permission” when there are lawsuits from artists of all kinds, bug and small, trying to take these generative Ai companies down for outright stealing their work to train their Ai program.

There’s a whole world of games, movies, books, etc out there to enjoy that don’t steal people’s works and cut people’s jobs to make “quick and easy content for cheap” - find something different to enjoy.

But, quite frankly, anytime I speak my piece about ethical treatment of workers I’m either ignored or harassed so it honestly feels like it doesn’t matter what I say despite dealing with shit like this from multiple sides of the industry and from people for 17 years.

So you do what you wanna do, you’re a whole person yourself and can make your own choices and draw your own line in the sand.

However, not only was I one of those affected TWICE by layoffs because of this, but countless of my friends and colleagues were also let go in favor of building cheaper things with Ai.

[librarycards]

hi sorry i saw u rb posts on veganism & i was wondering how you reconcile that stuff re: ED's (for context i am vegetarian -which ik isn't the same thing- for eco/ethical reasons but also have loved ones with eating problems that i never never never want to shame for eating ever)

this is a good question! I've addressed it a few times before on here, but in brief: veganism is a philosophy and ethical orientation around all forms of consumption and relationality. food is, for a number of reasons (many of which also contribute to the prevalence of eds - fixations on false ideas of 'perfectable' heath; desirability politics; etc) a hypervisible component of vegan life. this is particularly true given that there is a massive imbalance in the ways that we collectively gather. a focus on food-themed events marginalizes a wide variety of disabled people and/or people with religious/ethical food restrictions, and in this case, being vegan and living with an ed are actually pretty similar re: exclusion and frustration.

given the above, more and more people these days have been delineating between "vegan" and "plant based". to be vegan, here, is to have a certain set of political commitments - toward multispecies + climate justice, via critical analysis and collective organizing regarding what we are, literally and figuratively, expected to swallow under settler colonial capitalist hegemony. to be, or eat, a plant-based diet, is no more than what it says on the tin.

with that important distinction aside, i actually want to focus on one part of your ask: the idea that to be vegan is in and of itself an act of shaming. i want you (and not specifically you, because this is something a lot of people should ask themselves) to think about why you find veganism itself to shame (verb) nonvegans. generally, there are a few reasons for this: perhaps it's just not having met a lot of vegans and only hearing internet scaremongering. perhaps it's a discomfort not unlike other unwillingness to look at the horrible shit that makes "our" lifestyles possible. it is hard to understand our own complicity in hegemonic violence, and, vegan or not, it is impossible to extricate ourselves fully from it. but we do need to look. veganism, at its best, provides a critical lens for looking, and a set of practices to minimize, as best we can, our buy-in.

truthfully, i think that people who feel shamed by the existence of a vegan in their midst should figure that problem out on their own. this includes psychiatrically disabled people, incl. disorderly eaters. this does not give any of us license to harangue vulnerable people for their eating habits, but it also doesn't morally obligate us to change our lifestyles for their comfort!

as a vegetarian, you probably don't have a whole lot of occasion to talk about your vegetarianism (outside, say, drs offices or food-based gatherings). people are often surprised when they learn that i'm vegan, because they assume all vegans must be "preachy" (i have yet to meet a vegan over the age of eighteen irl who is like this. i've met a lot of Big Mad protein bros, though, as well as MYRIAD preachy med professionals and laypeople who freak tf out that i'm a principled vegan anorexic). at the end of the day, you need to be able to live a life you can tolerate, one that best facilitates you to impart good in the world + in your relationships. one that allows you to understand the gravity and importance of your own survival, on your terms. if vegetarianism or veganism do that for you, those who love you will support it, even if it takes a while.

so, yeah. i'm not sure if you wanted explanation, advice, or both, so I gave both. sorry for the long answer (even though i promised brevity...) but i believe very strongly in bodily autonomy - this informs my veganism - anarchism - broad politic, and my answer to this ask. so you got an essay!!

[miracles-and-butterflies]

How did the family react to Mirabel's gift?

Isabela was fully ready to pounce the moment she heard the lock turning in her cell door. The only thing that really stumped her is that the man entered her room. Nobody has done that in… she’s not really sure. They usually just wait for her in the doorway, restrain her and then drag her to wherever she needs to be. They know if they enter her room it is a death sentence. But, as she eyes up the ugly face, she doesn’t think she has seen this man before. Perhaps he’s new? Ah well, it won’t matter when he’s in hell.

The man suddenly stops and Isabela blinks at him because he froze in the most unnatural way she’s ever seen. She’s not picky. If he wants to take death without fighting back, fine by her. It just makes it boring for her.

What was even stranger is that someone else followed him in. Not another scientist. Like her, the girl is wearing the same scratchy hospital gown. Isabela tries not to, she can’t stop herself from staring. The girl is young and small, but her hair is fully white (or maybe it’s a very pale blonde? The lighting is horrible in here), though it looks healthy as opposed to old people’s. Her skin as well is a patchwork of pale skin, combined with a few speckles of darker spots. On top of that is a plethora of injuries. One eye looks purple(?) from lack of pigment, the eyelashes and eyebrow as fair as the hair; the other eye is almost striking in brown. As she examines face, she can’t help but see the resemblance to—

“Mirabel?”

The other nods, an eyebrow raised questioningly in her tone. Then realisation settles and Mirabel holds up a hand. “Oh yes, this is… a failed experiment. A few skin cells losing pigment isn’t important right now.”

Isabela didn’t blink. “It’s a lot worse than just a few skin cells…”

“What?” Mirabel squeaked in alarm.

Coming to the conclusion that Mirabel probably hadn’t seen her reflection at all and could only see what she could see herself, she probably had no idea.

Glancing back to see the guy wasn’t going to do anything, she took the chance and pulled Mirabel into a hug. The latter accepted it and hugged Isabela back, though she winced and mumbled something about being mindful of the injuries. Which Isabela quickly pulled her hands away from and adjusted her hold, making it a little awkward. She didn’t care though; she was just glad to have someone here.

“What’s going on? ..Why are you here? Who’s this?” Isabela asked when they separated.

“We are leaving, I came to get you, and no idea.” Mirabel answered, counting each off her fingers as she did. “He… he is under my control. I think that… I think that the miracle has finally given me a gift and this is it.” She held out her index finger.

“What?” Was Isabela’s response.

Her sister stepped closer, still holding out her finger for Isabela to examine. There was nothing there.

“What am I looking at?”

“Can’t you see it?”

“Yeah, I can see that your finger has been drained of colour.”

“No, the… you can’t see the thread, can you?”

Isabela slowly shook her head.

Mirabel sighed, stepping back alongside the scientist— has he just been like that this entire time? Holy shit, she knew the people who worked at the centre were psychos but this is something else.

“He is under my control,” she repeated. “I can control him with my mind. There’s a little teal thread that connects us. I made him stop beating me and I made him take me to each of your cells, yours just happened to be the closest…” Isabela nodded in understanding. She has a lot of questions for their miracle - like why the fuck didn’t she get that gift? Mirabel wouldn’t use it to its full advantage. Imagine how many people she could fuck with. “I don’t quite know how it works or how to make him stop, but—”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll just kill him when we’re done.” Isabela waved off.

“I… that doesn’t strike me as very ethical.”

“I said don’t worry about it. Just get us to the next cell and let your big sister handle it.”

“It’s nice to see that you haven’t changed, Isa.”

“I know, I’m a goddamn gem.” She retorted, already skipping to the exit. But she stopped for a moment to be serious. Her thirst for blood could wait a minute. “It’s nice to see you too.”

[patamus-warmer]

Do you live in butte? It kinda seems like you’re treating my town like a poverty zoo for your art. Do you even know any of the people that frequent pissers palace? Why are you taking pictures of peoples homes like that? I get the maybe displaying capitalism decay in a town that was used and abused for its resources and then left for dead. But genuinely your photos feel a little cold to me. It just feels like we’re focusing more on the aesthetic of a decaying house (that btw people live in) and not like the humanity of the fact that people have to live there.

I’ve lived in uptown Butte for two years and no I don’t know any Pissers Palace regulars. Honestly, I don’t have a lot of friends here because I’m not the most socially adept person and Butte is the kind of town where it’s hard to make friends if you’re not from here. However, those facts don’t really matter considering the issues you raise, anon. I want to avoid addressing these valid concerns with some kind of PR-tailored bullshit statement and frankly there may not be much I can say that will satisfy you. So, I’ll try to do my best to answer as sincerely as I can.

I hope this ask isn't a troll because it was upsetting to read. Not due to my personal feelings, but because a member of the community feels like my photography is exploiting Butte by only seeing the decay caused by de-industrialization without seeing the broader community as it is, let alone the people. This is a fair criticism that I do think about with my work—probably not thoroughly enough—and one that’s at the heart of photography ethics (e.g. taking pictures of homeless people while doing nothing to change their material conditions). My interests and curiosity do gravitate towards darker aspects in society such as the consequences of de-industrialization and late capitalism on communities. I’m not the first (or last) photographer to explore these phenomena, especially in Butte, but it’s what I often photograph. At the same time, this type of photography doesn’t do much to break cycles of exploitation and can create a myopic perception of places inviting gentrification. It definitely makes me consider what I photograph and why, particularly if the work is perceived as “cold” poverty aesthetics. I think one of my intentions with the photography is to help see the deep rooted history in the landscape of Butte that is out of time and special, especially compared to all the gentrified shit holes a lot of cities are now.

However, there’s also the issue you raise which is there’s much more to Butte than that and it’s not just aesthetics. Point taken. My last b&w post doesn’t exactly express positivity while probably coming off as cliche and annoying to people from Butte. Nobody wants to see the place they live in reduced to mindless social media posts. I’ve had a similar, yet inverse reaction many times seeing influencers portraying Montana as a new bastion of freedom while everyone who grew up in the state often view them more as tax-dodging gentrifiers who don’t care about the people or the history. I think the other issue with the lack of humanity in the photography is the lack of portraits. It’s something I’m personally working on to be less shy and take portraits in a respectful manner—with the subject’s permission—without creating a dour perception. Also, I didn’t mean to disrespect the people living in any of the homes I took a picture of—I’d love to meet those people and talk with them.

The last thing I want to say is this: I have nothing but respect and admiration for Butte. And not to sound patronizing or condescending, I specifically admire the passion and dignity of this community that comes through in your ask, the town’s strong labor history and compassion for marginalized people. One event I attended last year was when after the public library gave into nazi demands to cancel a trans speaker, our local community radio station hosted her talk and the town came out in force to stand in solidarity with her. They did the same thing recently to make sure an ADA ramp wasn't defunded by the county commissioners.

I’ll never be from Butte, but I’m honored to live here and want to contribute to it respectfully. I see more beauty and the wonder of a place out of time in Butte than a decaying town to pity. You may see it differently in my photos and that’s fine.  If you want to discuss this further, please feel free to reach out: patrickwarnerphoto@gmail.com.

[ftmtftm]

This is a long ask sorry. Recently I saw screenshots of some transmascs (usernames were understandably cropped out) saying that transandrophobia stems from “sex, which is immutable” and these screenshots were being held up as a reason why the idea of transandrophobia was stupid (and if this is the only encounter someone has had with the conversation around transandrophobia I don’t necessarily blame them because that is stupid)

I think in response to that post going around, I’ve also seen a couple people (who were transmasc themselves) accusing people that believe in transandrophobia of like, perpetuating radfem rhetoric and claiming “femaleness when it’s convenient, to victimize themselves”.

I was wondering if you had any thoughts or insight on navigating conversation about transandrophobia or antitrans masculinity when there is the occasional bio essentialist shithead, and that kind of person seems to be the most associated with the theory?

Okay so - I just want to preface this and say this is genuinely just my own personal course of action informed by a lot of my experiences having been on Tumblr for over a decade. I honestly don't know how helpful it is for others, but it's ultimately how I personally do it, so I'll share.

My go to response for the kind of people who seem to be self victimizing or who seem to be bio essentialist shitheads - and my go to response to the people who use that to say they're perpetuating radfem rhetoric by self victimizing - is honestly usually to just scroll past, sometimes block depending personal comfort, and move on.

Sometimes I do engage despite my better judgment and usually? I feel like shit afterwards because it ended up being pointless arguing. Most times I'll draft something that responds to concepts being brought up by those people and make my own post later or I'll reblog a relevant post that I've already made, but I do really try not to directly engage and I would encourage others to do the same.

Instead, I try to contribute in the ways I'm personally good at like via academia/original posts/answering asks. I feel very confident in my own opinions and my ability to back them up in response to accusations of Radfem ideals and self victimization because I know myself and I know my understanding of both Radical Feminism and Intersectional, Black, Decolonialist Feminism. I pretty constantly try to do a lot of self examination, but ultimately I'm confident in my core ethics and morals and I try to reflect that out to others in a human way. That carries a lot of weight for me personally.

That's all really important to me because this is ultimately still Tumblr and there's a lot of people in a lot of pain here. It's the piss on the poor hellscape webed site full of extremely traumatized people that have been at each other's throats over the worst faith readings of every opinion possible for longer than some users have even been alive.

When you've been here and in discourse spaces specifically for awhile - it becomes pretty obvious when a hurt person is lashing out and not actually engaging with an idea in a way that isn't focused on their own pain. I can do what I can, but those conversations specifically tend to devolve into nothing good real fast. So? It's just genuinely not something I try to dedicate a lot of time to engaging directly with. Especially because it gets really exhausting and honestly bad for my own mental health at certain points.

Hopefully that's helpful in some way? I'm genuinely not really sure if it is, but I hope so.

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Asking questions if i dare - what have you been learning about recently reid? Use this as an official excuse to talk about it if you like

Okay, this probably isn't the kind of answer you were expecting, but thanks for giving me the opportunity to talk about it.

The internship this summer was hard. Emotionally. Physically. Ethically.

I was living in a college dormitory, without access to a fully functioning kitchen and without a meal plan in a cafeteria. I've lost about ten pounds—and not in a good way—because I wasn't eating enough. I was sleeping on a bed that wildly exacerbated my chronic pain.

The material I was working with was really difficult. I'm not going to go into detail, but it wasn't all Christmas cards. Pretty much every -ism and -phobia you can think of, it was in there. I had to spend eight hours a day carefully and respectfully sorting through the papers of a woman who would not believe I deserve the same respect I was giving her.

I am doing much better now, but it was rough there for a little while. I was also definitely not prepared for how lonely it would be (thank you to everyone who pushed those good vibes buttons, you have no idea how much it helped).

I guess what I wanted to say is that I learned a lot about myself over the course of those six weeks. Lessons that all the therapy in the world couldn't give me. I've come out of that experience with a set of professional ethics that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. They will inform every other research opportunity I ever undertake.

I'm also saying this because sometimes I worry that I give off the impression I'm this Put Together Person™ who has all of the answers and is always doing fine. In reality, I'm just a Person™ who has been through a lot of shit and has worked very hard to climb out of certain holes, but I still struggle. This summer was one of those times where things were harder than others, but I've learned things about myself that will help me the next time around.

I'm closing out with this gif because it's more or less the mantra that I repeated to myself when it seemed particularly unbearable. Sometimes gritting my teeth and clenching my fists and muttering this is a character building exercise was the only thing I could do.

So yeah, the next time things suck for you, maybe try envisioning Mickey and see if it helps? Don't marinate in the suck too long, or it'll drown you.

-Reid

[justsomeoneunordinary]

if you're still accepting asks for the character ask game, then numbers 12 and 20 for Mito? and/or 2 and 7 for Kakashi?

Thank you for the asks!! 🥺💕💕

Mito:

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I mean... considering Mito doesn't really have a canon characterization, everything about her is made-up anyway, so that's kinda difficult to answer when her entire personality is a headcanon. Especially because I write her however I need her to be and that can differ widely from fic to fic.

Buuut in my heart I know this woman is extremely shameless. I headcanon the Uzumaki to be quite laid-back and open-minded in all manners, especially the sexual, and Mito brings that with her when she moves over to Konoha. She may look all poised and well-behaved but she will walk up to Madara and look him in the eye, telling him in not-so-subtle words what she and Hashirama had been up to the night before just to watch him squirm.

I know this to be true and I am more than willing to fight Kishi about it.

Along with that, I think she's a gremlin of a woman. Mito causes mischief wherever she goes just because she can and because she's bored, and no one suspects her except for those few people who know her well enough.

Also!!! Zero self-preservation instinct when it comes to seals! That woman shoved a whole-ass Bijuu inside her with an experimental seal and I refuse to believe she actually calculated the risk. Unless Kishi actually mans up and writes the scene of her sealing Kurama, I will simply continue believing that she looked at the big, mean, grumpy fox and went "I will show that fucker who's boss". In my heart, she's more of a crazy scientist than Tobirama.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Tobirama!!! Am I biased? Yes. Do I care? No. They should be sealing besties!!! I need them to do all-nighters in Tobirama's lab and come up with seals beyond human comprehension, beyond any ethics and morals. These two would fuck around and find out and it would be terrible horrible no good for literally everyone else but they sure would have the time of their lives. I know Tobirama didn't come up with the Edo Tensei all of his own, I know Mito helped him! No one can convince me otherwise, come and fight me Kishimoto and be prepared to lose!

Kakashi:

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Everything? He's my favorite character, literally just remembering how great of a character he is dragged me back into this hellhole of a fandom after I told myself I would never return here lol

I love his personality, his history and what made him who he is now, his quirks, his design... I think if I have to pick a favorite it's how caring he is. Kakashi acts so aloof all the time, but he cares deeply.

He claims he has no one left anymore but Gai is there, Tenzou is there, Asuma is there, the other Jounin are there - and he cares a whole damn lot for all these people for someone who claims he has no one anymore. He disobeys Tsunade's - his Hokage's!! - orders to help with the Sasuke retrieval because he cares about his team, damnit. And he shows how much he cares for his Genin over and over throughout the series. Because those who abandon their friends are worse than scum and he lives by that til the end even after the whole Obito-shitshow during the 4th war.

He's just. Such a big softie on the inside at the end of the day, despite everything, and I love that about him.

(Also, his design fucks. He's the only Naruto character who actually looks like a ninja. He's the shinobi of all shinobis Imo.)

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

... You should've asked the opposite, that would've been easier to answer.

Okay, I love how much Kakashi whump there is. He canonically went through so much shit in his past - and it continues getting worse!! - and the fandom looks at this man who's already on the ground and goes "Is anyone going to kick him while he's already down?" and doesn't even wait for an answer. Yes, he deserves a relaxed and happy ending!! But I greatly enjoy whump and angst and the Kakashi fandom certainly delivers.

Also, I love it when the fandom gives him Lichtenberg scars! Not only because they look cool af, but more importantly because I love it when fandom ads consequences to jutsu experimentation! Yes, show me what could go wrong when experimenting with raw lightning, no matter that it's his natural element! These shinobi should have more scars anyway, and in that regard the fandom doesn't disappoint :D

-

Send me character asks!

[shoezuki]

Drunk Gep anon back at it again. How bout I call myself Whiskey🥃?

Fully agree. Dude didn't make it to Captain of the guard with little noodle arms and a weak stomach. I'dimagine Sampo'sbeen slung over his shoulder more than once lmfao. He's defo been shoving bite-sized anything in his gob since he could crawl.

Also love earnest Gep!!! Gepard being all soft and inquiring. Bet Sampo isn't used to havin someone so genuinely interested/knowing of him but so gentle about it, with no ulterior motive. He's got Natasha but she's more the loving yet serious sister who damn near KOs him with the first aid kit when he tries to sneak out whilst injured. Now you've got my head spinnin with ideas!!

May we also consider:

Sampo fucks up. Geppie started gettin soft, not quite drunk but enough to loosen him into sayin things that make Sampo's heart warm and hands fidget, and he just stopped keeping track of his drinks.

He's on cloud 9. Maybe? He's not exactly ecstatic but he's havin a pretty grand time. Maybe cloud 7? He doesn't remember when they left the bar but they've been wandering about for so long it's gotten dark and his mind's too foggy to recognise where they are.

He's also too loose lipped, knows he's being too honest, that his attempts to play off his words as jokes is too long winded and fake but he also can't quite remember what he's said???

Gepard is havin a grand time. He's pretty out of it but can at least walk this time. Happy to trail after Sampo, ask questions about obscure places they pass in the Underworld and about the people, before working up to talk about Sampo himself. How he's a pain in the ass but he admires his work ethic yada yada. He's unfamiliar with the area so he's hoping Sampo knows where they're going. He doesn't.

Neither of em make it home. Not even into a building. Sampo wakes up in the geomarrow equivalent of a tree, doesn't fall purely because he's damn near tied to the thing. There's more half empty bottles on the floor and Gepard has absolutely no clue where his jacket is and Sampo does not own a cane that embezzled, where did he get that?

There's an attempted 'arrest' of course. Gep may be off duty but he's nothing if not devoted to his role. They don't make it far and Bronya/Seele find them half curled up on the floor, holding their heads up against the cold brick XD.

The previous night's open-hearted discussion is blurred but not forgotten.

~ 🥃

GBFJDV GODDDDDD ANON UR SOF RCEYEKE. GOD. FICK SHIT...

Sampo stumbling into gepard at a bar nursing a drink, not tipsy but still loose enough to tell sampo to leave rather than tryna arrest him right away. Sampo obviously staying cuz this is a Great Opportunity no way hes letting this chance to break down geps walls slip thru his fingers.

And just. Sampo wanting to get gepard to open up to him and break down his barriers. Totally to get info out of him of course its not like hes infatuated with the man and wants to know him underneath his position as captain.

Sampo doesnt realize hes getting drunk too, opening up himself. Doesnt realize hes actually having fun w gepard and enjoying talking with him. Doesnt realize hes actually answering gepards questions, telling both personal things about himself and small inconsequential things that arent important but gepard acts like they are.

Gepards genuine So SO genuine and earnest. All kinds of 'youre a hard worker you do help the underworld a lot even if you pretend you dont' and 'i know some of those tips about illegal operations were from you sampo thank you' and 'i admire how focused and strong you are. If only youd put the criminal stuff behind you' and sampo isnt sure if its the liquor or gepard hes drunk off of.

And it ending with gepard having the fucking worst hangover of his life, sampo tied to a large stalagmite passed out and snoring. Gepard like 'god my head hurts. That was the best night of my life. Time to arrest him i guess' and seele being the one to find em bickering halfheartedly while gepard keeps trying to get handcuffs on sampo

[violetren]

Controversial opinion but, Gabe's level of crappy was well adapted actually.

I think the fact that the maintenance guy felt the need to apologise to Percy because Percy had to go into the house with a freshly annoyed Gabe, and the fact that Percy "my mother is more important than the gods" Jackson was surprised that Gabe has been answering her phone implying that its a breach of privacy and not a thing Sally would normally allow if is she knew, and just a few other things in general do work well as subtext that Gabe can be a lot worse than we got to see of him so its weird for me seeing everyone be like "idk man its probably gonna feel bad when the medusa him like the books, he's just kind sucky."

Like it's a live action disney show made for CHILDREN, there are a lot of things they are never going to get away with showing. Like showy domestic abuse. Violence only flies if its fantastical or if it is in small doses by people in the same peer group, like kids fighting kids, adults fighting adults. There isn't as much wiggle room as in say animation where its easily stylised to be less confronting, or in text where its all theatre of the mind.

Just because a lot of the original fans of the series are adults now doesn't mean the show was made for us, and would go in on those darker themes. It was made because its popular children's franchise that has the potential to get a whole new generation of viewers, they aren't gonna get by today's ethical standards for a children's show by making Show!Gabe more overtly like Percy's descriptions Book!Gabe.

Also do you know what actions we get from like the dozen or so lines we get of Book!Gabe at the start of the story when you strip away Percy's internal monologue about how awful he is? We get an entitled man child who sits on his ass playing poker for most of the scene and cares more about having cash to gamble than Percy or Sally's happiness. A loser who is placated into leaving the scene and becoming irrelevant by being offered food he likes.

So no, we didn't see him asking for Percy's change from the cab fare but we also didn't see Percy get a cab. And no, he didn't make some shitty comment about the money for the trip coming out of Sally's clothes money, but we did get him answering Sally's phone without permission and telling Percy he better take his shoes off in the car implying that Gabe sees his boundaries and belongings as sacred whereas theirs aren't. Gabe was only ever just kind of a pathetic jerk who had to prompt his so called friend twice for the guy to get in on jeering at Percy so honestly it makes sense that a modern version would only play online because he wouldn't have the charisma or attitude to get an in person table.

Book!Gabe only seemed more hardcore because we had Percy's internal monologue adding layers that couldn't have been put into adaptation without adding an extra 10mins of run time or using a voice over technique that wouldn't mesh with the rest of how they have constructed the show and would have come off as cheap. And arguably even with the internal monologue the only reason his death still feels justifiable as an adult is because we've been steeping Percy's (aka the heroic audience surrogate protag that our young minds all latched onto) satisfaction at his death in nostalgia for almost two decades.

So yeah, he seemed pathetic and kinda manageable in the beginning, but the reason abusers can be so prolific is that a lot of the time they do look pathetic, or manageable, or if you're especially unlucky they can even seem charming, and attentive, right up until they aren't.

For the adults and older kids that know the character that means we know what he is under that pathetic facade, for those that don't some red flags were dropped, and for the kids he's just vaguely a jerk compared to Sainted Mother Sally Jackson and that might be enough of a hand wave when they have much cooler fantasy shit and other characters their age to be more busy sympathising with.

Obviously we don't know how things will play out, maybe because they "scaled him back" they'll drop the medusa statue approach. Maybe we'll get flashbacks or conversations about Percy growing up that will show Gabe's more sinister side to justify it happening anyways. Maybe we'll see nothing but when Percy and Sally will arrive home and Gabe will blow up at them for having to sit through the big game alone and without his sandwich completely ignoring that they were missing for over a week beyond how it inconvenience him, and make it a moment of self defence. Maybe it will be played for cheap laughs or a cheaper girl-power™ moment.

My point is for what the show is and who its aimed at, Gabe was an acceptable level of crappy, and its too soon to make a judgement call on whether he deserves his book death since we don't know if they'll have scaled that back to match his new incarnation. It was funny and felt kinda like justice in the books, but it wasn't a major plot point, it was just a loose end being tied up. They could end the season evoking much of the same emotion just by kicking him out of the apartment with nothing but his wrecked car and a sandwich that doesn't even have peppers in it.

[mattsdae]

help wanted pt 3

read part 1 and part 2 and part 4

content warnings: joe young x masc reader , hurt/comfort , joe’s congregation finds out about his little side gig , lots of fluff , reader actually being nice to joe , but also gets called out , makeout session lol , cumming in pants , situational humiliation but /neg , joe has a weird surge of dominance

word count: ~4.1 k

synopsis: joe gets bad news and goes to reader for comfort

a/n: this is set some time in the late 90’s/early 00’s. once again, i never watched the movie so idk when it actually takes place but i get the vibe.

“joe said he can’t come in, so i guess the whole shoot is cancelled.” dave’s voice crackled over the phone line as you huffed. it was 8 am, only a couple of hours before you were supposed to head in to film. you thought for a moment, still trying to wake up. he was clearly upset, probably being told they wouldn’t be paid if nothing was released. it was a common threat, but it never got to that point before.

“do you know why he cancelled? that doesn’t seem like him.” everyone on the shoot knew how reliable he was. he’s never called out on a shoot before or showed up late. even though he was only a pornstar, he still had a solid work ethic. you and everyone else on the team trusted him more than any other pornstar in the past.

“he said there was some personal shit he had to deal with. he sounded real upset, so i just let him go handle it.” you nod.

“okay. i guess just let me know when our next shoot is. i’ll try to check up on him later, just to make sure he’s okay.” dave laughs.

“if y’all are queers, just say it.” you scoff.

“dude, chill. you know joe’s mormon, he’d probably have a heart attack if he knew what we were doing was gay.”

“he doesn’t know already? didn’t he cum on you?” you flushed.

“look, just let me handle it? okay? he’s really sensitive and i don’t need you running around talking about how much of a fag he is.” you rubbed your temple, frustration clear in your voice.

“i’m not calling him a fag, i’m calling him a queer. there’s a big difference.” you rolled your eyes and laid back down in your bed.

“i’m going back to sleep. call me if you need me,” you said and hung up. just as you were curling back up in your sheets, you phone rang again. without looking at the caller id, you answered with a groan. “what?”

you heard crying along with what you assumed were words. you looked at the number and recognized joe’s. he kept crying while trying to blubber out explainations.

“hold on, joe. calm down. take a deep breath,” you tried to comfort but he kept crying. he kept babbling, too upset to form proper words. you quietly hushed him, a small shh until he stopped talking. “take a deep breath. try to follow me.”

you took a breath, counting to four as you breathed in, held it and breathed out. even though he gasped and sobbed throughout, he was at least trying to listen. you repeated until his breaths were relatively even.

“are you okay? can you try to talk slow for me?” you asked but he almost instantly started sobbing again.

“they- they know! they saw my videos and, and they kicked me out!” he wailed.

“who? what did they kick you out of?”

“my church!” he let out a long cry, sniffling and gasping as he did so. you didn’t know how to respond. you weren’t exactly expecting a phone call from joe at 8 am about being ex-communicated from mormonism. you swallowed.

“shh, shh.. it’s okay. just breathe, that’s all you gotta do. just breathe..” he still cried, but was no longer wailing. “good, in and out. everything’s gonna be okay, joey. just breathe.”

“i’m sorry, i know you sleep in but- but i don’t have anyone else..” your heart ached as he said it.

“it’s okay, baby. where are you? you’re safe, right?” he sniffles.

“i’m in my car.. i had to pull over ‘cause i couldn’t see too well.” you cooed.

“i’m so sorry, sweetheart. is everything okay?” he hums.

“as good as i can be. i’m sorry, y/n. i shouldn’t have bothered you..”

“don’t apologize. what do you need?” he whimpered.

“can i come over? i-it’s fine if i can’t,” he started to ramble. he tried to cover up the fact that he needed you, making sure that you knew he didn’t need to come over, but the truth was obvious.

“yeah, you can come over.”

joe was knocking on your door within 15 minutes, which interrupted your frenzied cleaning as you picked up whatever trash you had laying around. it wasn’t perfect, but definitely presentable. you opened the door.

“hey-“ he cut you off, pulling you into a tight hug. he squeezed, arms wrapped around your waist and forcing your hands in the air as you avoided them getting pinned to your sides. it almost hurt how tight he held you, his strength hidden well by the costumes and the uniform he always wore.

“i’m sorry,” he mumbled. his face was buried in your chest, unable to bring himself to move away. slowly, your arms wrapped around him as well, a hand finding it’s way to the back of his neck, fingers becoming intertwined in his hair.

“you don’t need to apologize.” he nods. you toy with his hair, waiting for him to make the decision to pull away. after a while, it felt like he never would, too enamored by your embrace. “do you want to tell me what happened?”

“they.. they found out about my job.” he sniffled. you sighed. for some reason, you never really questioned how he did porn as a career. you knew he was religious and most likely used different stunt devices to avoid showing himself off, but you forgot to question how he went to church the next day, knowing he was going against one of the biggest laws of his religion.

“oh, baby..” you held him closer as you heard him sob, parts of your shirt starting to feel wet against your chest. his grip tightened. his hands gripped onto your shirt, forming fists as he cried. you looked up, blinking away tears of your own. you weren’t a cryer, but hearing him made it difficult not to. “let’s sit down, okay? i’ll put something on, how does that sound?”

he nods, slowly letting you go. you led him, hand on his back, towards the couch. he sat and looked up at you with big, teary eyes. you pouted, holding his cheek for a moment and wiping the excess off. he shut his eyes, leaning into the touch. he really is gorgeous, even with flushed cheeks and red eyes. you understood why he held you for so long, now wanting to stay in this position forever, just as he did.

“what do you want to watch?” you pulled your hand away, sitting next to him. he looked down.

“i never really watched tv before.” you looked at him, trying to read his face and see if he was joking.

“you’ve never watched tv?”

“i have! but not that often. i used to watch service on the tv when i was sick and i couldn’t go in. that counts, right?” your jaw dropped, a grin spreading as you quickly flipped through channels.

“dude, you really never watched cable? that’s fuckin’ crazy!” you laugh. he shrinked a little in his seat, taking your attention away from the tv guide. “it’s fine, man. i’m messing with you. i’m about to show you some of my favorite shows, if i can find them.”

you wrapped your arm around him, ruffling his hair with a smile until he returned it. you pulled away again. you glanced over at him, seeing how politely he sat. his back was straight and hands were placed directly over his legs.

“dude, relax. kick your feet up or something.” he watched as you rested your feet on the coffee table. he looked shocked.

“on the furniture?” you nod. he leans down, taking off his shoes and placing them underneath the table neatly before awkwardly kicking his feet up. you wiggled, digging yourself deeper into the couch.

“just lean back and relax. do you want something to eat?“ he shook his head, trying to copy your movement and get more comfortable. “i can’t find anything good. it’s too early for all the actually entertaining shit..”

“oh, what about tom and jerry! i’ve watched that before!” he pointed at the tv. you almost shot down the idea, before deciding against it. he was already upset enough, why not let him watch whatever he wanted?

“uhh, sure.” you clicked on it. he pulled his feet away from the table, instead pulling his knees to his chest and watching the screen with his head resting on top of them. he smiled as it instantly opened to tom chasing jerry down the hallway before getting hit by a frying pan. he giggled.

“why are you staring at me?” he looked over. you didn’t even realize you were staring until he said it. he was still smiling at you. your face reddened.

“oh, i was just making sure you’re.. okay.” you excused, leaning back and focusing on the tv. he nodded. you stretched your arms across the top of the couch, now feeling anxious about having him in your house. you almost felt paranoid about leaving something out. you didn’t clean out the fridge, so that probably looks bad. you also forgot to put your laundry in the hamper. actually, you forgot to do a lot of stuff. you should have cleaned the bathroom at least, maybe even mop-

“do you have any movie recommendations?” he pulled you out of your racing thoughts. his arms wrapped around his knees, bottom half of his face covered by his bicep. “i never watched any movies before. maybe i should start now since i’m not.. mormon anymore.”

“uhh, yeah, man. i have some tapes we can watch. or we can go by blockbuster and you can pick some stuff out. my treat,” you smiled. his eyes lit up.

“really?! i always wanted to go there!” within 10 minutes, you were driving him to the nearest blockbuster in the same attire you slept in, only with socks and slides added to your outfit. he was buzzing, a big smile on his face as you parked. “have you been here before?”

“yeah, dude. i used to work here, actually.” he smiled even harder.

“really? i used to always wonder what it was like to work outside of the church.” he mumbled as you both stepped out of the car. you stuck your hands in your hoodie pockets, glancing over at joe as he basically skipped to the door. you smiled.

he was cute, you admit. he was sweet and so innocent you could barely wrap your head around it. the idea of someone like that actually existing made you hurt, especially since he trusted you of all people. you sighed as you opened the door.

“aw shit, get out! get out!” the manager yelled. joe paused, staring in genuine fear as you laughed. you patted his back.

“he’s fucking with us, dude. that’s anthony.” you pointed towards him as he held out his hand to shake joe’s. he awkwardly held his out as well before anthony took the initiative to grab it and shake.

“anthony. what’s your name?” he asked before glancing down and noticing his name tag. elder young. “damn it, y/n. you dragged a mormon in here?”

joe quickly unclipped his nametag and stuffed it in his pocket.

“ex mormon. now that he’s ex-communicated, we thought to do some things he wasn’t allowed to do.”

“oh, i’m sorry about that, man.” joe nodded, still looking away. “we have most of the classics in stock, short of pulp fiction. some guy came in here with his girl talking about how it’s the greatest piece of fiction ever created.”

“what a douche,” you laughed. joe glanced at you and you tilted your head towards the shelves. “go look around. just grab whatever you think looks cool while i catch up.”

he nods, disappearing behind a random shelf that he clearly wouldn’t be interested in. you watched as his eyes darted around the store, trying to find a genre that caught his eye. he was clearly overwhelmed by the volume of movies.

“how’s that.. ‘filming gig’ going?” anthony spoke up, using air quotes as he scanned returns and put them in a box. you shrugged.

“it’s going pretty okay. that’s actually how i met him.” you nodded towards joe as he grabbed ring and jumped when he turned the boxset and saw the girl crawling out of the well. you chuckled. “i’m making good enough money to get by. i was supposed to be filming today but something came up.”

“oh yeah? so you decided to go out on a little date with an ex mormon.” he emphasized the ‘ex’ like you did before. you rolled your eyes.

“it’s not a date, dumbass. we’re just friends.” this time, he rolled his eyes.

“i’m the dumbass? you’re the one walking in here with heart eyes for the dude. plus, you met on a porn set.” he whispered the last part. he glanced at joe, who wondered his way to the 18+ section before quickly departing. “was he an actor or did he pull up on set trying to sell the whole jesus thing to you.”

“shut up. look, i just helped him out with figuring out what certain words mean.“

“did you demonstrate or-“

“fuck off.” you turned away as he laughed. he put the final tape down and leaned forward on the counter.

“he seems like a sweet kid. you aren’t.. taking advantage of him, are you?” you turned to him, shocked by his bluntness. “i just wanna make sure. i know you aren’t a bad guy, but i gotta look out for people. if i thought someone was taking advantage of you, i’d say something.”

“i’m not taking advantage of shit. he asked for help, he gave him help, end of story.” you sat by the counter for another couple of seconds, waiting for his comeback.

“i’m guessing he was ex-communicated because he’s gay?” you tensed up a bit, looking away.

“no. he doesn’t know that..” anthony furrowed his eyebrows, looking you up and down.

“you had sex, how doesn’t he-“ you shushed him.

“we didn’t have sex. i just.. told him i was just helping him out. i don’t want him to freak out about being gay. he already called me crying over being kicked out of his church, i don’t need to make him more upset.”

“so you’re lying to him?” you paused.

“what?”

“you’re lying to him so he doesn’t know that what your doing is gay.”

“i’m not.. i didn’t lie. i’m just protecting him.” anthony held up his hands, turning away.

“whatever you say, man. he’s gonna figure it out at some point, though.” you scoffed.

“whatever.” you went towards where he was, seeing he was stood in front of the kids movies. he already had a couple in his arms, including the lion king, a tom and jerry movie you didn’t know existed, and mighty joe young. “you picked that because it has your name, right?”

“what?” you pointed at the vhs and he blushed. “oh, um. y-yeah.”

“that’s cute.” you didn’t even realize you said it out loud until anthony laughed in the back. you poked your head from between the shelves and glared. he mouthed ‘just friends’ as you went back to joe.

an hour later, you were sat on your couch with joe watching titanic. turns out, he never heard of the titanic so after a brief history lesson, you started the movie. joe watched intently while you mostly spaced out. you’ve seen the movie a couple of times, but never found it super interesting. he liked the cover, though, so you rented it.

“we should do that.” he pointed at the screen, pulling you out of whatever thought you were having. you looked. jack and rose kissing at the front of the boat. you turned a little red, trying to figure out if he was joking. obviously, he wasn’t.

“what? they’re just kissing.” you shrugged off the comment as if you weren’t flushed. he pouted.

“i’ve never kissed anyone before. is it nice?” he looked at you, genuinely curious. you nodded.

“yeah, kinda. if you like the person, it’s nice.”

“why would you kiss someone you don’t like?” he questioned. you flushed, looking away and watching the screen.

“i mean, i don’t like every girl i sleep with. it’s weird to kiss someone during a one night stand anyways; it’s too intimate. i mean, i don’t even like kissing that much.” now, he flushed.

“why would you.. sleep with someone if you don’t want to be intimate?” you shrugged again, starting to feel defensive.

“sometimes you’re just horny and you have to go out and find someone to sleep with. it’s common.” he stopped asking questions after that, most likely realizing that you didn’t have good answers anyways.

it was quiet for the rest of the movie, leaving you to marinate in your embarassment. he didn’t mean to, but he made you feel horrible. maybe it was a mix of what anthony said earlier along with his questioning that made you feel this sleazy.

the movie ended and you went to rewind the tape before putting it back in the case. he didn’t say anything, not even about the movie. as you clicked the case shut, you looked at him.

“do you really want to practice kissing with me?” you tilted your head. he thought for a moment before responding.

“do you want to?” you did, but him making you admit it made you feel even worse. holding back your ego, you nodded before sitting next to him again.

you felt your heart race as he shuffled a little closer. you patted your lap, inviting him to sit. he adjusted, lifting his leg to go over your lap and straddle you. he planted himself, now closer to you than ever, his nose just an inch from yours. you could feel him, the heat from his body radiating onto you as your heart beat quicker. you could smell him, too. a fresh scent that you weren’t familiar with. it was intoxicating. his eyes flicked between your features, focusing on your lips. he swallowed.

“what should i do?” he asked, voice cracking as it broke the threshold of being a whisper. his hands landed on your chest, kneading your shirt nervously. you wondered if he could feel your heart racing. you held his waist, glancing down at his lips as he chewed on it.

“kiss me.” and that he did. he closed the gap between you two, lips pressed against eachother, just as you started to kiss back, he pulled away with a quiet smack, only giving you a small peck. you chuckled, hand leaving his waist and to the back of his head, fingers pulling at his hair. “come on, baby. you can do more than that..”

he nods, closing the gap again. he was still gentle, nervous to do something wrong, but with you now guiding him, he felt more confident. you bit on his lip, making him moan against you. you could never get enough of his noises, instantly trying to find ways to hear more. he squirmed, hips moving in circles subconsciously. you joined him, moaning as he grinded against you.

he sucked your bottom lip in, hands moving from your chest to your face. he cupped your cheeks, holding you still as you licked. his mouth opened as he let go and you took the opportunity, tongue meeting his. he moaned again, hips bucking against yours. your right hand gripped his hips, guiding them back and forth while you played with his hair. both of you echoed eachothers noises, muffled by your lips. you pulled away.

“you’re good at this..” you huffed, weirdly out of breath for something as simple as making out. you looked at his lips, shimmering. when you looked back up into his eyes, you found he was watching you intently, pupils blown. you smiled.

“you like it?” he asked. you chuckled. you did like it and he should be able to feel how much you like it just as you felt him. either way, you nod, pulling him closer again. his eyes fluttered shut, lips just barely grazing eachother.

“i love it, sweetheart.” you couldn’t get enough. his hips rolled against yours and his hand moved back to your hair. you were throbbing in your pants, but you couldn’t imagine pulling away. his slacks were almost rough against your sweatpants, fabric constricting his thighs. you quickly unbuckled his belt. he pulled your hair, making you gasp.

“i just wanna kiss. is that okay?” your eyebrows furrowed, mouth hung open as you nodded. he kissed again, picking up exactly where you left off. your groin felt warm as you witnessed dominance in him. you would have felt proud if it weren’t trumped by pleasure. he toyed with your hair, making you whimper.

never in your entire life have you been this turned on by making out. it almost felt like a chore to you most of the time, but now you couldn’t get enough. you could feel him, through his uniform, the nametag in his pocket prodding. the feeling heated you. knowing he was ex-communicated, that he’s all yours, only made you want more. you needed to teach him everything. you needed him to know how to please you and only you. he let go of your hair and you grabbed his wrist.

“fuck, keep pulling it..” you whined. he nods, yanking it. you whimper, gripping his hip harder as he did it. you looked at him, seeing a look on his face you could only describe as corrupted. he wanted more, just like you did. he wanted to hear you and feel you, desperate for it. his eyes were darker than you’ve seen them, glancing over you as he thought of what to do next.

the gap closed. your hands ran up and down his body, sliding over the button up. you untucked it, fingers running over his bare skin now. he moaned, squeezing his fist and pulling again to hear you respond. you did, squeezing his side. his skin was soft, almost silky. you pawed and caressed him as he grinded down on you. it was addicting. the push and pull, constantly grasping at eachother for more.

his free hand retreated from your face, running down your chest. you groan as he begins palming you, experimenting with his touches as you writhed under him. it was overwhelming. you needed more but you couldn’t handle it. everything was warm and he was moaning against you. his fingers tugged at your hair with just the right pressure. you fucking loved it. you loved him.

you trembled, moaning into his mouth as he did the same. you throbbed, cumming in your pants. he kept moving, hips stuttering as he came at the same time. you both sounded pathetic, high pitched whines and moans as he grinded down. his thighs trembled, your hips bucking up into him.

he pulled away, panting. you buried your face in his neck, still rutting into him as you finished. your arms wrapped around him and you pulled him close, basking in his warmth. it took a while before the wetness in your underwear made itself more apparent and you realized what happened.

“shit, shit.. it’s okay.” you quickly adjusted him until he got off. he watched as you looked around, trying to find something to wipe off with. “fuck, it’s fine. let’s just.. let’s get cleaned up.”

“what’s wrong?” he asked as you rushed to your room. you grabbed a rag from the bathroom, wetting it, before you grabbed whatever underwear and pants were clean. “y/n, what’s wrong?”

“don’t be embarassed, baby.” you comforted, ignoring the fact that he wasn’t even embarassed. you kept mumbling comforting phrases as you cleaned him and yourself up. you dressed him, putting him in a pair of your underwear and pants.

“thank you.” he said slowly as you dressed yourself. you didn’t respond, instead grabbing up all the dirty clothes and throwing it in the wash, desperate to get rid of any evidence that anything happened.

don’t get it twisted, you weren’t embarrassed about making out, at least not that much, but you were utterly humiliated by cumming in your pants. you never thought it would happen. you almost struggled to cum when you were with girls, why would you cum prematurely with a guy?

you found your way back to the couch, sitting on the opposite end as you realized he put another movie in. this time, it was the lion king. you didn’t really watch, though. instead, you stared straight forward in shock. he turned to you.

“is everything okay?” you nod. he scoots a little closer, reaching his hand out and touching your thigh. you looked away, hiding your face in your palm. “i don’t know why you would be, but don’t be embarassed. i’m sure everyone’s done it before. i did it, too!”

you wanted to cry. he tried to comfort you the same way you did for him. his voice was so gentle, it hurt. you loved him. even though you tried to convince yourself you were confused and horny, it settled in. he was perfect and you loved him. he patted your leg and pulled away, settling on the opposite end as scar was introduced.

[blubushie]

do u just name the guns/knives or do u name other stuff too (i'm asking respectfully)

Ok, since you come respectful I'll answer respectful.

Getting this out of the way: I'm autistic. Object personification is a symptom of autism. It is something I have. This paper will be very sad if you don't read it. I will also be referring to people as "humans" throughout this to separate from my own concept of "people."

I'm an extremely low empathy autistic, plus some other things. While I'll see non-human things as people, I also don't really see humans as people. It's more like watching animals go about their natural behaviours. I'm an outsider looking in, taking notes on behaviour and interactions within the community. I don't think of humans as any different from the animals I observe and hunt. We're all just organisms. Humans are people with our own place in the food chain, try as we might to rise above it. There is me, a person. There is Misty, a person. Once I get to know another human well, they become a person to me instead of just another animal.

Only ones this doesn't apply to is kids. I'm horribly empathetic to kids. Teenagers are on thinner ice but still get empathy. But kids fuck me up hard. If something happens to a child I'll be fucked up for days.

This doesn't mean I go around being an arsehole, because I'm polite and learnt a long time ago and that no one will ever really understand my perspective on how I see other people. They'll call you a monster, a freak, a psychopath, etc. They'll think you want to harm humans, or that you're a bad person because you don't see other humans with the same personhood as you see yourself, or say you dehumanise humans. And I don't reckon I dehumanise humans, because all of humanity is like this to me. Additionally, while I'm low-empathy, I'm not a fucking sadist. I don't want anything to suffer. Shots I take on animals are clean and accurate--ethical and humane. I try to have the same approach with people. If someone is in distress, I am going to help them because that's the right thing to do. I might not personally care about the person, but I will help them because it's good to be kind. Sometimes that means I put up with a lot more shit than I should.

When I get close enough to someone, I start seeing them as people. Those in my server, my mates, my family. If I become emotionally attached to something, my empathy starts working and they become a person to me. But this also means that anything with sentimental value to me is now granted personhood. Misty is a person. My rifle, Winnie, is a person. My knife, Kaz, is a person. My stockwhip Stozza, my ute Matilda (though really, Matilda is the camper and not the rig itself). These are all people to me. They have emotions and feelings and this paper will be very sad if you don't read it.

And when something is granted personhood, I grant it a name. There's a reason everyone in my server--my friend group--is given a nickname by me, even if most of them don't know what I've given them. There's a reason my rifle and knife and car have names. There's a reason my dog has a name. People have names.

When I first got Winnie at twelve, she was just my gun. "Can I bring my gun?" No, Jet, we don't bring guns to Macca's. "I'll leave it in the car. I just wanna bring it." I didn't wanna let her out of my sight. She was my pride and joy, even then. And later that year, after I was assaulted, there was days I'd spend shooting tins out behind our caravan, and she was the only thing that made me feel like I had any power over my life. Because she felt powerful. She made me feel safe--like if ever I needed to, I could protect myself. She couldn't change what had happened to me, but so long as she was by my side I was sure it'd never happen to me again.

When I was fifteen and went bush, I brought her with me. .30-06 is fucking overkill for rabbits, but I shot a roo with her and the meat lasted me the whole near-three weeks I was out there until the coppers found me 60km from Ghan. She kept me alive, because I didn't bring enough food for three weeks. To be fair, leaving was an impulse decision and I was also 15 at the time, but still. Her dedication to me then was rewarded with her going from a gun to my most beloved companion, and being granted the name Winnie.

They took her when I was taken into custody, and I wouldn't talk to the detective until he assured me I'd get her back once I left the copshop. I went directly from the copshop into a mental facility, but she was there at the detective's house when he pulled me out of it.

By the time I was 17 and going to high school in rural California, I was in the school carpark when I noticed one of the boys at my school had a semi-auto shotty on the rack in his ute. So on the drive home I stopped by our local gunshop and immediately bought a gunrack for my back window, which is where Winnie rests now when she's not locked in her safe in Matilda or by the door.

Eventually Kaz went from "dad's knife" to "the KA-BAR", then back to "my knife" cuz KA-BAR is a mouthful, then finally to Kaz. By the time I'd bought my camper for my ute, I'd come to terms with sometimes people just Name Things when they get attached. And as I was 17, going on 18, and homeless at the time, I immediately named her Matilda.

When I became a stockman I wasn't given a station knife because I had Kaz and told them I didn't need one, but I was given my stockwhip and after it was used on me I finally gave it the name Stozza. And sometimes I take it out and crack it a couple times just so it's not sitting there coiled in a box at the bottom of my wardrobe.

The pronouns comes with the name territory. I just get a certain vibe off things, if that makes sense? Winnie is, without a doubt, feminine to me. Kaz is feminine to me. Stozza is masculine, but I usually find myself calling him an "it" instead of masculine pronouns because while I'm attached to it for sentimental reasons, it's not quite reached a level of personhood with me yet.

Anyway, hope that covers things. Cheers.

[undead-discourse]

I feel like the only way this blog can ethically exist is if there's a basic requirement of civility. If you allow and post "confessions" like "proshippers should be neutered" this blog just becomes a way for ppl to anonymously bully folks.

I'm just gonna post these both together and respond to it all at once. I had to chew on it for a while and I had a meeting, so I'm sorry I didn't respond to your first ask right away.

Under a cut since this got a little long.

I honestly thought that person was being sarcastic. To me, it read very similarly to a lot of the things people were saying about the whole paraphilia thing from a few days ago, the whole "Right, because we should seriously kill people for kids they MIGHT hurt in the FUTURE" sentiment I saw a few people toss around.

But whether they meant it or not, whether they're seriously someone who holds this belief or someone mocking said belief, it's clearly ambiguous enough to hurt people regardless.

Posting that in the profic/proship tags (especially with no trigger warnings) was irresponsible of me and I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry to anyone I hurt, especially since I didn't give you any way to effectively prevent seeing stuff like that.

Honestly, I've been kind of skimming my asks for a few days, ever since the paraphilia shit I mentioned. All of that made me kind of want to vomit and I hated reading anything about it. Everything involved in that was kind of disgusting and there were several asks I genuinely couldn't finish. But...

I really don't like censoring or deleting the things people have to say in my ask box. When I created this blog, it was to post anything and everything I received, with no filter and no censorship (except for personally identifiable/directly targeted asks). Screaming into the void about silly fandom discourse and shipping two characters together. It isn't about which side has good or valid points or makes any sense at all, it's supposed to be cathartic.

I wanted to see what people would say when they knew there was no pressure or expectations to say one thing or the other, that no matter what they said, I'd still post it. Even if the content made me feel sick. Even if it were something I find genuinely immoral.

I completely understand why people wouldn't want these asks up, and especially why they wouldn't want it in the profic tags, which is why I've purged them all from the profic/proship tags. I'm also in the process of adding trigger tags to each post that might be triggering (formatted as "tw: *trigger*" if you want to block them). However, I've been posting things I don't personally agree with and things I genuinely cannot read all the way through, because I specifically don't want to delete anything anyone has sent.

I can delete the more aggressive asks completely and never answer anything like that again, but If I do that, I'll be deleting asks about my personal triggers as well. This means that asks involving discussion of incest, pedophilia, or necrophilia in any depth, real or in media, goes too. If I'm filtering out what people can send me, I'm not going to intentionally trigger myself anymore for this blog.

Or I can keep those posts "up," but with heavy trigger warnings. If I go with this, I'll put them under a cut as well so people have to read the trigger warnings and then click a button to see it.

Again, I'm very sorry for posting that ask in the profic/proship tag where anyone could see it completely unprompted. I need to be more responsible with this going forward, that much is certain. I'm going to leave the route this blog goes up to you all. Please give me your thoughts.

[cee-grice]

Hello! I'm getting caught up on all your amazing asks here... But here's my pre-emptive Ask for Storytelling Saturday for next week:

Describe your WIP in bullet points so my ADHD brain gets it quickly!

hey hey Belle!! oh man, I also have to clean out my inbox, it's getting a bit embarrassing haha... I know you said this is a pre-emptive STS ask, but!.. I saw it and got excited lol, so you're getting it answered Now

so! my current WIP, When White Crows Cry, described in bullet points:

(this is gonna be long)

it's a science fantasy?? only instead of robots and space we have chemistry and pathology lol

also dark academia vibes

set in a secondary world reminiscent of 19th century-esque europe, only with modern advancements in science

the magic system is science-based - essentially, if you wanna manipulate the fabric of reality, you gotta. understand said fabric of reality

so, to cast a believable illusion you need to perfectly understand color and light and depth and all that (so you gotta be a kickass realism artist lol)

or, to change a glass ball into a gold one, you gotta understand the molecular composition of each material and know how to manipulate it so it would change forms

there's one tiny teensy issue with magic, though - it is a limited resource ahaha

ANYWAY that's the gist of it

main character - Quil, an exceptional transmutation mage who got exiled some years ago for performing human transmutation (very bad very taboo)

(he, of course, continues doing human transmutation)

(despite the Trauma)

the second most important character - Endra, who has this nasty magical parasite slowly eating away at his body and mind, and his only hope at a cure is... human transmutation

you can see where this is going

anyway so that's the Past timeline - Quil trying to figure out what's going on with Endra's body and finding a way to fix it

(this is also the Romance timeline lol)

we also have the Present timeline

and that starts with Quil getting revived a year after his death in the country he'd gotten exiled from

:0!

(that's literally the first chapter so it's not a spoiler lol)

anyway he gets offered a Deal - help his ex-mentor with her project that could potentially save magic, and in exchange he'd get amnesty

the issue? he really, really hates his ex-mentor

and he would have really, really preferred to stay dead

this whole magic dying thing is Not his problem, either lol

counter issue? the project concerns the same magic parasite that Endra had (has?), so it could put him in danger, and Quil quite literally would die again before he let that happen, so.

he agrees

(so that he could sabotage it lol)

but also! Quil doesn't know what happened with Endra post his death, so that's something he works on figuring out as well

(he gets far more questions than answers. where IS this guy)

anywayyy that's the gist of the story

now for the lightning round

this would be for you if any of this intrigues you:

highly questionable academic and medical ethics

characters forsaking morality to get what they want and losing sight of what truly matters

So Much Interpersonal Drama

no physical fights - a Lot of verbal fights

dealing with the horrors of resurrection

dealing with the horrors of facing your loved ones after they'd mourned you for a year

a cast of eccentric scientists

an obsessive, codependent queer romance between people who don't know how the other looks like

a lot of fucked up queer characters in general

an incredibly spiteful trans protagonist who just wants to be left the fuck alone but everyone insists on dragging him into their shit, so instead he's gonna Make them leave him alone

everyone wanting you to live apart from You

magic biology! magic chemistry! magic science! nerd shit!

anyway oof idk if this helps but omggg is it hard to explain a fantasy story quickly ahaha....

(this is the general tag for this wip so u can check out more stuff about it that's explained in a more cohesive manner lol)

[bbsourchef]

intro!!!

hihi! :D i am chef mio (it/itself or she! but mostly it!!)!! of class 3-2!! it is!! so very nice to meet you all!! on this little screen. it must be oh so cramped in there :(

but hi! hihi!! uh. what can i say about myself?? hum. well! i like pincurchin! they are!! friend shaped!! my partner pushpin is the one i am closest to. :) but they are not the only ones i like! it is!! good!! to have varying taste in pokemon. it improves team percentage, or something?? but i want to have the highest percentage in pokemon friendship :D

it requires being smart though!! so i'm a part of a few different clubs!! the biome club is where i usually am though! i am overseeing a project now! it's very cool! but i'm also a member of the cooking club!! because i want to improve!! my cooking skills for people and pokemon!! even if i mostly just want to make all of the world's best sour foods :D

hum. i think that is enough for now! but i want to make lots of friends!! with people too!! so i hope to be able to talk to lots of them! i'm good with food and biome research! but i will try to answer anything asked of me! :) byebye for now!

((ooc info below the cut!!))

Another character in the Sable's Pokemon IRL Cinematic universe, apparently people really liked her, so! I have made a blog for Mio! Basically, she was supposed to just be an NPC for Ren's Orthworm project and my hand proceeded to slip and make a whole ass design. Whoops.

Anyway, Mio is a minor! For the love of god no NSFW or I will block you on sight.

Pelipper Mail/Malice are on, Musharna Mail/Malice are off. The Pelipper one may change, but the Musharna will not.

If you want your character to have history with Mio, please, feel free. Her blog is probably gonna be updated the least out of my four (yes i have a fourth in progress don't you DARE at me), but she is a background NPC for the people okay.

To basically sum her up: she's a girl who worked at the Sinnoh Battle Factory and learned a lot about utilizing Pokemon from a young age, serving as one of it's trainers up until she started attending Blueberry Academy. She basically got there on a scholarship, lmao.

Mio is a very silly lil chef who's basically to sour food as Crispin is to spicy, but she's genuinely a good cook! Like with Pokemon battles, a meal must be well balanced.

She's also a member of the Biome Club! I will probably have to google-fu any answers to advanced questions but Mio knows a hell of a lot about Pokemon adaptation and environmental effects of invasive species and the like. She's just below the Club's leader in terms of intelligence, pretty much.

Mio. Absolutely comes off as a dumbass with a weird typing style, but she basically makes up for it in competence in what she does best, and the work ethic of a god. This is a girl who multitasks her way into straight B+s and nobody knows how.

Feel free to throw some silly shit this way, this blog is very unlikely to dip into the high stakes waters at any point. This is a firm Silly Only zone. (maybe with some minor drama/angst but we're mostly gonna be silly here)

Any long absences are going to be explained by her phone breaking. She's a walking techbane but literally only for phones.