#you made sense btw! and i know you’re not babying him knowing myself i’ll probably watch the video one time out of curiosity and then

[taehyungfirst]

I know you might disagree and most tae fans might even label me an anti for “not being proud” or something (happens on twitter for some reason.

But I can’t be the only person who genuinely doesn’t feel good seeing tae in military uniform?

Like people are already going on about how great he looks and how hard he’s been working etc, and it’s all true, but we’ve all heard what happens in the military, and how difficult it is, and I just feel like everyone tends to ignore that in order to marvel on how idols look or how hard they’ve been working etc….but it’s like…the military is not a picnic??

Like promotional videos? It’s propaganda and there’s no way to tell whether any idol wants to do them or doesn’t want to, and I’m already seeing ppl go “omg SDT is milking Kim Taehyung because hardly any celebs join the unit haha 😁”

And it’s like…that’s not something to laugh about? “Oh his impact will be insane” dude….this is FORCED enlistment we’re talking about. I’m from a country with mandatory enlistment. It’s genuinely a very difficult think that changes all our men and a lot of times in negative ways.

Also there’s nothing good about being used for a country’s propaganda, especially when you probably can’t say no (and this goes for any country).

Idk how to word this but this weird romanticization of the military as a result of seeing them, but especially tae, look good or healthy or strong, etc… just feels wrong.

And at risk of sounding like one of those weirdos who treats him like a 5 year old, I wanna make it clear that I’m fully aware he is more than capable, and that he’s a grown man who chose to challenge himself and I have nothing but respect for that, and I completely disagree with babying him or his choices, my issue isn’t with him or his choices but with the government and the way IT uses it’s soldiers, but especially celebs.

Like I feel like this is a conversation that’s had every time but everyone just completely loses it once pictures drop (not even from tae himself) of tae or others.

And I know a lot of fans don’t do it with ill intentions but it can still be weird, y’know??

I don’t know if I’m making sense, but my entire timeline is freaking out over the pics, and I just wish we as a fandom bothered to just leave them be, especially in the military (which is already not an easy thing) instead of spreading the things further and helping out with the propaganda.

Im glad tae and the others seem to be doing their best for themselves though and I wish him and them the best.

Hi! Since I’ve seen those picture I knew my inbox would’ve been all over the place.

I wanna start by saying that we all are different people so we are all proud of him for different reasons or just mean “being proud of him” in a different way, me personally I’m proud of him for having goals and for achieving them, for trying to focus on the few good aspects of that awful experience and turn it into something positive for HIMSELF. I don’t think you’re an anti, and I don’t completely disagree with you either. I feel weird seeing him with a gun in his hands too, I feel weird knowing what will be the sick reactions and projections of the fandom. I also know that his unit has made those promotional videos since forever and they’re not doing it rn because KTH joined them.

I know (like you do) that saying no in those contexts is nearly impossible, NJ did it with that whole speech too, idols that perform at those military events did it too… it’s a nuanced discourse. It’s not just black or white. I’m proud of him or I’m not proud of him.

I just wish fans could stop projecting on him, and I wish he would stay safe and healthy. And that these 18 months pass by quickly.

[treyisms]

i beg for ur thoughts on matt and or trey with an innocent reader

this totally isn’t gg btw

oh, lets get into this anon (my gi 😉)

cw: nsfw content (eighteen plus!), fluff, innocent/virgin f!reader, if this isn’t your thing that is a-okay lovebug but pls don’t be rude to anon or myself ! ☮️🫶🏻💌

trey:

- we already know this man has a corruption kink, there is significant evidence, so i think he’d absolutely love a kind hearted & innocent (probably virgin) gf

- you’re sitting on his lap while he giggles after he makes a joke (probs “the aristocrats” one) and you don’t get it :(

- holding his hands up in front of him to regain his breath after he giggled so much you were nearly bouncing off his lap, “baby…. think about it” “think about what trey?! you’re just saying a bunch of dirty words!!!”

- he knows how easily you get blushy and he’ll lean down and whisper in your ear while giving your cheek a little pinch “what’s got you so red honey, huh?”

- tells all his buddies “she’s a nice girl, i mean like a nice girl”

- when he finds out you’re not sexually active, or haven’t even teetered onto being sexually involved…. omfg .

- “what do you mean you’ve never been touched before?” “i’ve just never got around to it..” “what, being fucked?” “TREY!….. i’ve never been … felt like that before” “oh, so you’re missing out & depriving some other stupid fuck of a girl like you” “maybe i like the “stupid fucks” of the world” “well obviously or you wouldn’t be dating me babe”

- one day, while just sitting on the couch with your head in his lap, staring up at him & tracing his face, just to throw him for a loop, you ask to suck him off & his eyes almost bug out of his skull because of how earnest you look

- “w-what?” “can i suck your co—” and he is immediately sitting cradling ur head and lifting his hips to untie his sweats <3333

- he loves to doodle you (even before you’re dating) with little hearts all around your head in a sweet little sunddress you wore on the first day you met

- the first day you met he told matt “oh fuck, i gotta have her dude” and he’s said that many times since in different contexts

- mf LOVES a height difference & loves to look down at you with his perpetual heart eyes like “hi y/n, you look really nice today, is that a new top?” while playing with the string of your tank top

- but once again, it’s trey so he is naturally staring at your chest & the lil dainty necklace dangling between it as your breathing picks up due to your closeness to him

- tells EVERYONE you’re the sweetest person he knows and is so genuine about it, probably says that lil “y/n makes me better, ya know?” sll the time & even matt can’t help but smile for his friend

matt:

- matthew richard stone where on earth do i begin?

- you definitely start out as friends first, because believe it or not matt has a huge soft spot for gentler souls with pure energy (shocker)

- quickly moves to him becoming infatuated with the way you jump at little, friendly touches from him on your arm or back

- like one time he touches your waist to move past you in a quick “excuse me” motion and he sees the way you get goosebumps and he is ABSOLUTELY hooked

- will absolutely be man spreading in a meeting & can sense you’re staring without even LOOKING at you

- turns to face you across the table (while trey is still speaking btw) and asks “i look good today?” with this nasty lil smirk while he waits for you to sputter out a response

- when he speaks the entire room quiets down because matt, believe it or not, has a really domineering personality & everyone stops to listen to his real deep voice

- “you like the beard?” literally eyeing you down & scratching at his chin cause he loves to see you blush

- he thinks you have the absolute most beautiful eyes & i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again he 100% calls you “angel eyes” & all variations of it

- you’ve just made out in his office & you move back to stand after a knock at the door & this mf is heaving with lil lipstick marks across his cheeks, mouth, neck & collarbone looking at you like prey & HES SO BIG LIKE SO TALL, goin “pretty eyes, you leavin me?”

- definitely the “places your hand on his hard-on & goes ‘see what you do to me?” type of guy

- matt LOVES to be around someone who is just genuinely enjoying life & trying to keep the peace rather than be money hungry or obsessed with ultimatums, so he finds your energy super refreshing

- “i like being with you” “really matt?” “yeah, you’re sweet, and i don’t feel like i need to be a dick around you to push you away” “well… i’m glad you’re not being…… mean, to me either” “i couldn’t be if i tried, i can’t be mean to pretty girls it’s against my moral code or some shit”

- you’re literally such a comfort to him, because you don’t see the bad parts of him as horrendous & you accept him & his temper for who he is <3

- that being, on the other side of things, he absolutely loves watching trey tell you a gross joke & seeing you not entirely understand it, tilting your head and squinting your eyebrows and staring off a bit trying to piece it together

- if it’s reallyyyy dirty matt wants to be the ONLY person telling you what it means because he cannot handle the idea of anyone being remotely romantic or sexual around you but him

- “and so the hooker says—” “trey don’t be fucking disgusting” “WHAT? matt you loved that joke last week!” “well now i don’t and it’s gross so shut the fuck up”

- turning back to you with a wink <33333

[beneathashadytree]

Hey! I absolute love your writing it literally gives me life!!! Okay so basically my request is like the straw hats doing one of those WIRED autocomplete interviews but the last question asking is you or zoro are dating and the whole crew cannot keep straight faces so it’s obvious you are and seeing the poor man flustered while you laugh 😭🙌 I hope you like my idea i’ve just been watching too many do them interviews and they are so freakin funny!!

WIRED - RORONOA ZORO X READER

Warnings : this is a sort of AU in which the internet and cameras exist in the One Piece world, a few curses I think, one sexual innuendo, a hint of Frobin (but you can interpret this as platonic if you like), this is not proofread, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : fluff and crack (I love them)

Word count : 1.5K words

Additional notes : Aaaaa you’re really too sweet to me holy shit😭 I absolutely ADORE these interviews btw, so this was so fun to write. It was more lighthearted than I’m used to, which made it the perfect way to unwind after hectic days at uni! Let me know what you think of this💗

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp.

Masterlist

“Okay, final batch!” Nami called out, taking the cardboard and setting it on her lap. Luffy let out a huff of relief at that.

“Finally—!”

“Luffy, you can’t just say that to the camera,” Chopper cried out from beside him, “People will think you’re not happy to be here.”

“It’s just that I’m hungry…” he moaned out, rubbing his stomach exaggeratedly.

Rolling her eyes, Nami grumbled, “Fine, fine, I’ll hurry up. Quit whining, you big baby.” To her left, Usopp ripped the paper off the first question, leaving it for her to read. “Are… both Sanji’s eyebrows swirly?”

The blond stiffly smiled from the couch, “Suppose there’s no use hiding it any longer.” He pushed his bangs upwards, exposing both curled ends. His crewmates “ooh”ed and “aah”ed in fascination, and Zoro rolled his eyes at that.

“Bastard probably did it knowing it would be all over the internet,” he mumbled under his breath, earning a glare from Sanji.

“Next question,” Usopp hurried, removing the paper on the question before a fight would break out. “Are… Franky’s modifications on every body part?” Grimacing, he glanced at Chopper. “Should we… should we really be answering this now and here?”

Chopper had a tired look on his face. “There isn’t much I haven’t seen at this point.”

With a shrug, Franky said, “Your call. I’m answering it anyways,” and leaning in conspirationally towards the camera, he grinned wide. “Yep, every body part. The adjustments guarantee a super time, if you catch my drift.”

“Franky, I think you should shut up. Permanently,” Robin sharply said, with an admonishing glare. The cyborg only winked at her, but did remain quiet afterwards.

“This feels like a déjà vu, doesn’t it?” Nami sighed as she ripped off another question. “Are… Brook’s signature moves inspired by other musicians?”

“Of course,” he answered with a benevolent smile, “I always pay homage to legendary dead artists whom I respect—though I myself am dead as well! Yo ho ho ho ho!”

“You’ll wear out that sense of humor one of these days.” Jinbei shook his head, though he looked at the musician fondly as he said it.

Luffy laughed, stretching his arms and wrapping them around Brook, slinging himself over to hug him. “I don’t care, he’s still a funny skeleton to me.”

Everyone looked at their captain with apparent affection in their eyes. “Onto the next question, let’s go,” Usopp enthused, his turn to rip next. “Are… Usopp’s curls natural?” A smug look made its way on his face. “Absolutely, one hundred percent. I have thirty handmaids to wash my hair, and ten servants to help style it perfectly every morning. After all, the great Usopp—“

“When did I turn into thirty handmaids?” came a snort from his left, and he turned his glare on them. Smirking at the camera, they jutted a thumb in the sniper’s direction. “This man right here comes crying to me every time on wash day because he’s too tired to do it himself.”

“Well, at least—“

“Settle down, ladies,” Nami interrupted coolly, before reading the next question out loud, “Are… Nami and Robin that beautiful in real life?” She blinked, glancing at her friend who was chuckling to herself. “I don’t know if I should be flattered that they think we’re beautiful, or offended that they think it’s all makeup and editing.”

“Oh dear,” Robin said, “Considering just how pretty you are right now, Nami, I’d take it as an honor.”

“You’re the best, I swear,” the navigator sighed happily, and everyone could almost see hearts in her eyes. She absolutely worshipped the older woman. “All compliments are ten times better when they come from someone as beautiful as you.”

“Ah, the most stunning flowers in the world—!“

“Are… Jinbei’s hugs as nice as they seem?” Usopp quickly butted in the middle of Sanji waxing poetic. After reading the question, every single one of the Strawhats grinned, answering in unison, “Yes!”

Their newest crewmate glanced at the fishman with a soft smile. “I was the last to join, but his gentle heart was enough encouragement for me to.”

With a sheepish smile on his face, Jinbei relented to the weight of Luffy tumbling from Brook onto him. He patted his back, and his captain only grinned wider.

“How sweet,” Nami cooed at the sight, before turning to rip the next question, “Are… Luffy’s attacks pre-planned?”

“No,” he bluntly replied from Jinbei’s hug, shrugging, “I do what feels right to me. I know my own strength well enough to know what to do.”

“Luffy’s much smarter than he looks,” Franky nodded, “His attacks are super deadly for a reason.”

Usopp hummed, “Alright, final two questions. This one says,” he paused, “Are… Chopper’s medical texts updated?”

“Of course. I have to have the latest discoveries and researches published in my books,” smiling as he spoke of his passion, he added, “Medicine evolves every day, so I can’t slack off as the ship’s doctor.”

“And the best doctor of all,” Brook gently patted his head, causing the reindeer’s face to quite literally glow.

“Asshole! That doesn’t make me happy at all.”

“And the final question,” Nami paused dramatically, before removing the paper, “Are… the two of them dating… Zoro and…” she leaned over trying to read the name furthest from her side, “Oh, it’s you!” she turned to her friend on Usopp’s left.

Silence fell in the room, everyone awkwardly glancing away from each other. Nami picked at her perfectly manicured nails, Robin found it awfully fascinating to card her fingers through Franky’s freshly-cut hair right now, and Usopp was too busy fussing with Chopper’s hat that was suddenly somehow completely askew.

Luffy’s (very obviously lying) face gave everything away when he said, “No… they’re not. Aren’t they, Jinbei?”

“Why would you ask me that?” he replied, dismay on his face as he was thrust into the spotlight he didn’t want one bit.

Brook deflected before they could even turn to him as the usual gossipmonger, “Don’t you like talking about love and romance, Sanji?”

The thunderous expression on the cook’s face was more than enough for him to choke on his words and turn away from him quickly. Much to their exasperation, that murderous look only served to affirm the public’s suspicions; his pure jealousy wasn’t so easy to conceal.

All the while, the rumored couple in question did their absolute best to avoid even glancing at each other.

Zoro’s stony expression would’ve been enough to deter even the bravest soul from asking any questions, but what completely contradicted it was the terribly endearing flush that climbed up down his cheeks to the nape of his neck. Though his eyes were guarded, his gritted teeth weren’t out of anger but embarrassment. It was laughable, really; how flustered the mere notion of being brought up as a couple made him.

And laugh they did, after having finally given in and spared the swordsman a glance from their place beside Usopp. Their knees knocked into his, and they could feel all along their body where they were touching just how tense he was. Simply unable to keep up the unreadable front, they wheezed with laughter at just how red their boyfriend currently was.

“You’re unbelievable,” they chortled, placing a hand on his shoulder for support as they bent over laughing.

Zoro glared at them, his blush only intensifying. “Shut up,” he hissed out, which only made them laugh harder, knowing that there was absolutely no venom behind these words. He truly was horrible at dealing with affection in a forthright manner.

Shaking their head at his antics, they only turned to the camera with a cheeky grin. “We’ll leave it up to the people to interpret it.”

“And cut!”

As soon as the words were yelled out by the director and the blinking of the camera turned off, Zoro swiveled in his seat to openly glare at them, his face still warm. “The hell was that about?”

“Your blushing gave it away, you musclehead idiot,” they rolled their eyes at him, “We’ll leave it up to PR. They’ll let us know what course of action we’ll take.”

“Why’s everyone so interested in us anyways,” he mumbled under his breath, and Sanji gave him his most disgusted look.

“Maybe it’s because your eyes are constantly defiling them, you shitty mossheaded bull—“

“You know there’s something about a pot and a kettle,” Nami scoffed, “Come on, Sanji. Let’s leave the two lovebirds.” Indeed, all the others had already packed their things and walked out (the first of them being a famished Luffy, of course).

“My sweet Nami-san! Of course I shall do whatever my goddess asks of me…”

Once they were alone, they carefully asked him. “Did… the question bother you?”

“Why would it?” Zoro looked confused.

“Just checking in with you,” they shook their head, a gentle smile on their face as they leaned in and kissed his cheek, “We’ll deal with whatever comes next together.”

He hummed, large hand reaching up to pat their head affectionately. Really, he couldn’t help but feel something melting inside his chest whenever they did things like that—even though he still remained a little flushed up till the tips of his ears.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go. By the time we make it back to the ship, Luffy will have had both our shares of lunch.”

Taglist: @stories-that-shaped-me @wifeofkyojuro

[hyunverse]

you’re so right hyunjin would 100% write you literally anything you like or would just come up w smth new whenever he felt like it. also would def just give you artwork he made for you 🥲. imagine him giving you little pieces of your fave animal or his fave pic of you guys together </////3 god id be in shambles. also i did not realize malaysia was that hot ?? i couldn’t do it i hateeeeee the heat. but then i also hate the cold. like i’ll literally be going to school in -20C weather where i live😭😭 it’s so awful. so spring and fall are 100% my times of the year like i’m always happiest at those times bc the weather is just normal

so true men are just men. i think we got lucky w our skz’s zodiacs. bc changbin is the only leo man that can exist okay 🙅🏻‍♀️ he is nothing like these average ass horrible leo men. he’s bias wrecking me so hard lately like he’s literally fighting w hyunjin rn for the spot. i can hear them bickering in the back of my head 😒😒

ALSO RIGHT i can’t help but baby him 💔💔 same w seungmin i just want to squish his cheeks 💔💔💔 manifesting seungmo forehead rn 🙏🏼. SO IMPRESSED W THE BOWLING BTW THATS AWESOMEEEE. i hope you had sm fun 😋 i’ll have to try it again soon and lyk. most likely i’ll be shit but it’s worth a try. my day was not the besttttt i’m rly stressed out and have a ton of crap going on but seeing ur response made my day ^_^. i saw it and blushed and squealed not even kidding. ur the sweetest you always put a smile on my face. i hope your day is good today :)) i think it’s like 6 am there rn which is so funny bc i’m about to eat dinner. like it’s cool to think we’re doing our opposite routines at the same time. does that even make sense ?? 😭 this is what i mean w the rambling i’m just 💔 LOL

alsoooooo i’m gonna reply to your other post here too and say i’m so glad you moved on from those pos’s. relationships suck and that’s why i read fanfics like yours to fill the void 🙏🏼. i’m jk i’ve also moved on but im a lover girl at heart so not being in a relationship is legit torture. like i just want to talk to someone and be loved and like go on dates 🙄 KISSES AND HUGS FOR U THO you deserve all of them bae <33

- 🐈‍⬛ (spammed again omg what is my PROBLEM ?? you bring out the talk in me and most ppl can’t do that <33 i can’t help it ur too kind)

hyun <3 painting u <3 with a fond smile in his face <3 they don’t make men like him anymore!

malaysia IS hot bae. . . it’s located at the equator </3 spring and fall seems so pretty, especially fall!! like dawggg i wanna be jumping on piles of fallen leaves too mane 😔🙏 dress up cute ‘n stuff. i will be showing up everywhere lookin like rory gilmore 💯 everytime i see an autumn grwm i gotta stop myself from kicking and throwing a tantrum cs i don’t live somewhere with the four seasons 🤸‍♀ -20°C weather is insane i would literally drown myself in boiling water 🧘‍♀

the thought of changjin bickering IS SO FUNNY like those two istg. . . love how hyunjin rejects every single one of changbin’s affections LMAO i always laugh at them. binnie in the samsung ad got the girlies going CRAZY LIKEEEEE. . .

i get the desire to be loved tbh. likeeee feeling loved is so nice but at the same time i feel like i have no mental span for a relationship anymore 💀 i am so busy during the times i am in campus so having a bf wud probably be disastrous for me.

u need to come bowling with me i Will defeat u 💯 LMFAOOO. or maybe you, too, will find out that ure actually a hidden bowling prodigy. u never know ykyk. also yeah timezones are so odd but it is somewhat painfully endearing. . . ? just two people doing opposite routines but still being able to be friends at the same. isnt that so cute omg. i’m sorry your day was crap my love, here i giv u minho pics to hopefully make ur day today better than yesterday’s!!

mwahmwah sending u my love sweetheart <3

[hatsukeii]

Fam I needed to just write something to restart my brain and jumpstart some shit so

Just yeah you can ignore this fic if you’d like but I’d say still maybe give it a read because I don’t even know what I’m doing it’s 6am and I was brainstorming and got this

Angst btw, haven’t done that in a while

Okay but before that look at my baby though like he’s so perfect and precious and I love him sm🥺 so let’s make him suffer more on my blog hm🥰

Proud// Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word count: 1.6k+

Warnings: Depression, self hatred, self harm, dead reader

Summary: I honestly don’t know at this point I just wrote down everything I could think of

All that clouded his mind were thoughts of disappearing. Staring mindlessly over the school’s rooftop, he felt a sense of euphoria. Maybe it was just his suicidal tendencies, or maybe it was more, but at that very moment, Tsukishima was imagining how it would feel to jump right off. It didn’t matter, really, did it? People took it as a joke. They took his attempts as a joke. “You’re just being overdramatic,” they’d say. “There’s no way you’d ever do that.” “Stop chasing attention.” Even with cuts on his bare skin, nobody reached out. “You wanna die? I’ll buy you pills later, yeah?” Well, yes, he did want to die, but the team never realised he was serious about it. Nobody ever realised he was serious about it. High schoolers took mental illness as a joke anyways. A twisted, disgusting, horrid joke that Tsukishima could do nothing about but smile and laugh along in order to hide his pain.

Except you.

He still remembers the way you would smile at him. God, you were the only one that would do that. How you sat with him in an empty classroom every single day, rubbing circles into his back as you told him everything would be okay. All those library weekends and study dates together, and not once did you ever complain about his need to rant. You were there to listen to him when no one was, yet all good things had to end. You were gone, and he wasn’t sure what to make of your death. It hurt. Everything hurt. His mind wasn’t stable enough to process it.

It was when you finally gave your last breath in that stupid, stupid hospital ward, did he realise how much he needed you. All the times he’s stopped himself from overdosing were because of you. He knew how devastated you would be if one day you woke up to the death of him on the news. You’ve done so much for him, he would never let himself cause you pain. Never. Yet now, he was back to square one. He was alone again. He was left on his own to fight through this dull, torturous, cruel world. He had to push on with his life, yet there was no one here to push on for. His one reason for living was gone.

The rooftop was quite chilly. Wind blew across Tsukishima’s, as if it was slapping him across the face. Did he look good at that moment? Tucking his shirt back in properly, he grabbed a jumper from his bag, pulling that over himself. If he was going to mourn, might as well mourn looking at least decent. He didn’t remember the wind being this cold. Was it always this cold? “Hey (Y/n), do you need a sweater...” He turned around, expecting to face you, when another gush of wind sliced across his cheeks. This was going to take a while to get used to. He used to let you wear his sweaters when it got chilly like this. You would always pull the sleeves over your hands to make sweater paws, the one thing that never failed to make Tsukishima smile stupidly. The extra sweater he habitually brought to school now sat in his backpack, with no one here to wear it. Sure, he could give it to someone else, another girl even, but it wouldn’t feel right. It never would.

“Ahh, it really never lasts does it?”

And he would be right. The best relationships never last for him. Was it a curse? Some kind of sick hex on him? He would never know. Two good relationships down the drain. First his brother, now you. Why didn’t he see the signs? How you oftentimes skipped school without a warning, the way your face went paler and paler by the day, it almost made him laugh at how utterly stupid and unsuspecting he was. How could he have let all those little things slide? He hated himself for not noticing earlier. If he knew he would’ve done anything to make you the happiest person he knew. There were so many things he wanted to do with you. He was planning on bringing you on a date someday, before telling you how he had quit the cutting. He wanted to show you all the constellations someday, as per your request to him. He wanted to feel your arms around him, hands stroking his hair and his neck tickly from you mumbling sweet nothings into it. He wanted to one day hold your hand in his, comparing the sizes as he laced his fingers with yours. He was trying so hard not to disappoint you. He made a promise to himself that he would let you be the first to know, yet that won’t work out now that he can’t tell you anything. He was so close to his goal, going from cuts all over his arm to occasionally a cut or two on his wrist. He could imagine the way you would cover your mouth like you do when you cried at the movies out of joy, before lunging forward and holding him tight, not letting go, just like how you usually would when he made you proud. Would someone else ever do that for him? No, that would be over demanding for anyone else. High schoolers didn’t have time for shit like this. Nobody cared enough to sit there for hours on end trying to unravel the puzzle that is his mind.

He could almost hear you next to him, patting his back and whispering into his ear just like the old days.

“Kei, I’m so sorry. I really am. But I... please don’t hate yourself. Hate me. Hate me for leaving you so soon. Hate me all you want, but never, ever hate yourself. You are the best thing I’ve ever com across. Your poor soul needs to heal, and I promise, I’ll be watching you from above.”

The thought of your last words snapped the fragile string in him as tears rolled down his cheeks, the rooftop breeze blowing them into his mouth. He would never hate you, even if you wanted him to. He simply couldn’t and that goes without question. When he heard about you being in a hospital ward, he practically dropped everything he was doing and zoomed over, praying he could see you at least one last time.

“I... fuck- promise..?”

He shakily held out his pinkie, his eyes shut tightly as he tried to stop the tears. For a moment, he felt your pinkie graze against his, before it fell.

“(Y/n)..? (Y/n) wake up, wake up please! Please, you can’t leave me now, I can’t handle it by myself, please... I’m begging you...”

Your parents stared as the unknown blond boy wailed, pouring his tears onto their child’s hospital bed as he refused to accept it.

“(Y/N)! I’M SORRY, I’M SO, SO SORRY! I’M... I’m sorry, I couldn’t make you the happiest person in the world.”

It’s okay, you thought.

You already did, Kei.

He never got a reply to his question.

“Tsukki? Tsukki! Lunch is about to end!”

“Ah, shit”

Rubbing his eyes, he looked down, eyes painful from crying. Was it already the end of lunch? Probably, but it wouldn’t hurt to skip a class or two once in a while.

“It’s fine Yamaguchi.”

His friend was the most concerned after your death. He knew that Tsukishima was bound to have a hard time accepting the death of his anchor. He may not have realised it himself, but Yamaguchi knew Tsukishima well. And from everything that he’s seen, he was absolutely sure that he was in love with you. He was so in love with you to the point where he would probably never recover from losing you. He could see that you were such an important part of his life, that losing you would be equivalent to dying. Yet now, his best friend was alone again. Yamaguchi never fully understood Tsukishima, you were the only one that was able to dig deep into his mind and console him properly. You were the definition of his comfort and vice versa. The two of you were inseparable. Yamaguchi truly didn’t know how to help at this point. Tsukishima was damaged beyond return.

“Tsukki, I know it’s really hard on you, but I promise it’s going to get better. Please don’t do it even if you think it’s worth it because it’s not. I’m not saying this out of pity. You helped me up at my lowest and I want to do the same for you. Losing you would be losing the person I’m the most thankful for.”

Tsukishima would kill himself with no problem. What stopped him was knowing that even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to meet you. He could never see you again no matter how hard he tried. A person like you, who selflessly helped him during his hardest times, greeted everyone with a smile, you were bound to end up somewhere nice, whether it was heaven, or reincarnated into a millionaire. The universe would never accept someone like himself. He hurt himself and others in many ways, he was going to hell for everything he had done, and although that would be okay with him, a promise was a promise.

So he was going to live.

He was going to live on, stop cutting, and be the best person he could, all in honour of you.

He was going to live and make you, watching him from above, proud, even if the two of you were to never meet again.

Tags:

@izzyphantomgamer @sunshines-and-tatertots @tiredgr3mlin @tiger1719 @skyeackermans @macaronnv @ewfilthymundane @samanthaa-leanne @kaylacinderella @inlwlevi @random-fandomlover @majorfangirl37 @itmekisuu @trashcanweeb @sakusasgarbage @eightaces @fandomwriter73 @mariechan123 @iwaigroomi @oyasenpai @sneezefiction @emsvegetables @poppirocks @shoutsukii @bokutokoutarou @artsamber @xonfusedsoul @justachillgirl @just-another-bored-writer

I’M BACK FUCKERS

I’ll do some requests now lmao

[2dmenenthusiast]

Let’s be sad together (Peter Parker x Depressed Reader)

A/N PLEASE READ!!: heeey so before we get into this, this story is told in the first person, which I know some people don’t like but I felt it was best for this particular fic because there is some self-hate in here and I didn’t want the reader to feel targetted and make them feel like shit? I hope that made sense. keep in mind this fic deals with themes of DEPRESSION, something I myself struggle with. So if you’re not comfortable with this, please don’t read. I’ve read plenty of x depressed! reader fics, and most of what I read doesn’t do the feelings justice or it romanticises depression. It’s usually like “oh youre depressed? Well i love you and boom youre fixed!” Yeah I hate shit like that lol. But I am certainly not trying to romanticise depression or mental illness by writing this. I wanted to make a fic people like me can relate to, the thoughts and feelings, etc. It was honestly super difficult, I wrote the first draft and completely scrapped it cuz I hated it. I really tried my best here, guys, and I hope you like it. And always remember that you’re not alone and things do eventually get better. It just takes time and a little help. Once again I tried to keep the reader as nuetral as possible so everyone can read! (I fucking suck at titles btw)

Plot: Peter notices something’s been wrong with you lately, and you prepare yourself for the inevitable break-up once he confronts you about it.

Words: 2,562

Warnings: Themes of depression and anxiety, self hate, angst

Loving Peter Parker was absolutely suffocating.

Sometimes I couldn’t decide if dating him was the worst or best decision I ever made, but I knew one thing for sure. He had me wrapped around his finger, and there was no leaving him even if I tried. Not that I wanted to. Peter is… well, he’s perfect. Sure, he’s dorky and can ramble about technical stuff that I can’t even begin to understand for hours on end, but if anything, those things only added to the list of reasons why he’s perfect. Oh, and he’s Spiderman. My boyfriend is Spiderman. In other words, nights were spent worrying about whether he’d make it home safely or not, and some were spent patching him up when he came knocking on my window after a particularly bad fight. He made me happy. Happier than I had ever been probably. So… why did I still feel this way?

At first, a part of me thought that being with Peter would… fix things, I guess. That maybe if I was in a relationship, it would cause all the rushing thoughts inside my head to go away. And at first, it did help. There were more nights that I could sleep peacefully, and there wasn’t a constant feeling of anxiousness sitting in my stomach. But of course, that relief never lasted long. I knew it wouldn’t, but a part of me hoped it would.

Overthinking had always been an issue. Every situation had a “what if,” and this was no different. Thoughts of Peter leaving me began to occupy my mind almost every second of every day, and now, rather than feeling relaxed in his presence, I felt a constant feeling of anxiety. Like my heart was stuck in my throat and I couldn’t breathe, an invisible weight crushing my chest. Sometimes I’d get so overwhelmed with my feelings that I’d have to leave the room and calm myself down so that I wouldn’t cry. And other days I’d completely close myself off from everyone, laying in my bed all day and feeling so upset and worthless.

This wasn’t Peter’s fault. No, he treated me like fucking royalty. This was due to my own dumb self and my own dumb emotions and my dumb fucking ways of overthinking shit I shouldn’t even be thinking about. But it’s always been like this, and no amount of listening to sad songs and telling myself everything was going to be okay was going to change that. I wasn’t immune to feeling insecure either. Especially when Peter hung out with his other friends, but I immediately told myself not to think about that stuff. I didn’t want to be that partner that gets jealous of their partner’s friends when I’m not getting every second of their attention. No, thinking that way felt toxic, and that was the last thing I wanted to be.

But sometimes, I couldn’t help those thoughts from sinking in. There were so many people out there. So many people that were funnier and better looking than me… So why did Peter settle for me? Why would he want to date someone with so much fucking baggage? Someone who could barely get out of bed in the morning while already wishing for the day to be over? Someone who thought so fucking little of themselves as a human being? There were times where I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror, because those were the days I really hated myself. Sometimes I feel like he fell out of love with me a long time ago and now he won’t leave me because he feels bad, which only made me feel worse for keeping him in a relationship he probably didn’t even want to be in. 

I couldn’t say anything to Peter about this. How could I? He would just try to fix everything and I didn’t need fixing. I just wanted him there to reassure me that he loved me as much as I loved him. That he wouldn’t leave me because of how mentally fucked I was. Even if he did tell me those things, I don’t know if I’d even believe him. My mind probably wouldn’t even let me. I imagined if I did try to tell him everything I was feeling, I probably wouldn’t be able to explain it in a way that he could understand. I was just so tired. Tired of waiting for the inevitable moment when Peter would break up with me, and I’d be left with an expected broken heart. I’ve even been preparing for the day it happens so that it doesn’t kill me when it hurts, just like I do with every situation. Rather than give my hopes up and be disappointed, I just assume the worst from the get-go. 

I don’t know how it hasn’t happened yet. How he hasn’t noticed the way I just shut down when the day gets hard. How I constantly look like I’m just in my own head, either when all of us are hanging out or when it’s just me and him. I want him to know. I want to tell him all the shit that’s running through my mind, but a part of me is terrified that I’ll just scare him away. So I just pretend it’s fine. Like I’m not ready to bust and rip open at the seams.

Today was another one of those days where I just felt like locking myself in my room and never coming out. However, the usual excuse of “I just don’t feel good,” didn’t work on Peter this time. He knew that there was something wrong. I could see it in the way he looked at me. I thought I had gotten away with it at first, laying in my bed and mindlessly scrolling on my phone, not even present in my head, just kind of there. But I knew I was screwed when I heard a knock on my window and opened my curtains just to see Peter sitting on the fire escape. I didn’t say anything as I opened the window, just watching as he stumbled into my room while pulling on the sleeves of my hoodie, something I often did when I felt that familiar anxiousness creeping in.

He made sure to shut the window after he was inside, and I immediately shrunk under his gaze when he turned to me, feeling too ashamed to meet his eyes.

“Hey, um…” 

He hesitated, and I watched the way he rubbed his palms against his jeans, almost as if he was feeling nervous. I could imagine how he was feeling, though. I was nervous too.

“I know this is kinda abrupt, um… but I just wanted to stop by and you know, make sure you’re feeling okay and all that. I was worried, so…”

Worried? He was worried about me? I blinked a few times, trying to rack my brain for a quick lie I could tell him, but that wasn’t what came out when I spoke.

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I guess I’ve just been feeling kinda low today.”

I immediately wanted to swallow the words that left my mouth, not believing that I actually willingly let him know that I wasn’t really feeling okay.

“Oh?” He took a step forward, which immediately made me want to take a step back. “How come? Was today just not a good day?”

Peter was so unbelievably sweet and considerate, I almost wanted to cry right then and there. He always treated me so well… but he deserved someone better. Someone that wasn’t me.

“I-I guess? I don’t know, it’s just kinda hard to explain,” I muttered, reaching a hand up to rub the back of my neck that felt strangely warm.

“Do you wanna talk about it? I have plenty of time. I actually left the group to come see you, so I don’t mind listening.”

My eyes slightly widened as my gaze quickly met his, looking at him as if he was crazy. Hell, he just might’ve been if he stopped hanging out with his friends just to see me.

“You… Why would you do that?” I asked softly, my voice almost a whisper as I tried to keep it from trembling.

His brows furrowed and he tilted his head slightly, looking at me almost incredulously as he stepped closer.

“Do I need a reason? I wanted to see you.”

He said it so confidently, as if he was so positive that he rather be spending his time with me than his buddies. It kind of made me feel a bit guilty. He could be spending his time with his friends and having fun, but instead, he was here, and I was trying not to break down in front of him.

“But your friends… wouldn’t you rather hang out with them?” I asked, arms crossing over my chest as if I was protecting myself from something.

Peter just smiled. “I could chill with them any time I want. Why would I skip out on an opportunity to see my baby, hm?”

My hand quickly shot up to cover my mouth, and I could feel tears starting to push through.

“He wouldn’t say that if he knew,” I thought, and it immediately became harder to contain the tears when he closed the short distance between us and placed his hands on my shoulders, his expression clearly one of concern.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

I shook my head, sniffling as I reached up and wiped at my teary eyes.

“I’m fine, I just-”

You’re not. You’re really not fine, y/n. This is not fine.

My walls were quickly crumbling down as a tear slipped down my cheek, which caused more to follow, and I let out a choked sob as Peter placed a hand on the back of my head and gently pulled me into his chest, his other hand running over my back. He didn’t say anything, just let me cry to my heart’s content as I gripped onto the front of his shirt for dear life.

“I… I’m not okay, Peter. Nothing’s okay,” I mumbled into his chest, and he gently pushed me back as he carefully held my face in his hands, thumbs wiping at my tear stained cheeks.

“What’s not okay, y/n? C’mon, talk to me.”

“Everything!” I yelled, and I could tell he was surprised by my sudden outburst as I pulled myself away from his embrace.

“Everything is not okay, Peter. Fuck, I just…” I brought my arm up over my eyes as my bottom lip quivered, my eyes burning as more tears fell. “Everything’s just so hard and I’m so tired. And I’m making everything so complicated for myself, it’s not even anyone’s fault that I’m feeling like this. It’s mine.” I sniffled and wiped at my eyes again, but it did nothing to stop the endless tears that had spent too much time being held in. “A-And I don’t know what to do, Peter. I really don’t. I’m so fucking tired of hurting and I just want the thoughts and feelings to stop. Fuck sometimes I just wish I felt nothing!”

I looked up at Peter when he didn’t say anything, and found that he was just looking at me. There wasn’t any judgement or disgust in his eyes. At least, not from what I could tell. He looked… worried. Maybe even a little sad. Was he upset over what I said? Is he bummed out that he found out what I’m actually like? I let out a sigh and wiped my nose against my sleeve, suddenly finding my feet very interesting as I looked down. The silence was fucking deafening, and in that moment, I wanted to throw myself off the fire escape and into traffic below.

“How long have you felt like this?” Peter suddenly asked, his voice quiet as if he was trying to not startle me.

I hesitantly looked up at him, pulling at my sleeves again as I shrugged my shoulders.

“If you’re talking about all the depressing shit, ever since my early teens, I guess. But um… I’ve been having other thoughts recently. Ever since we got together, actually.”

I winced as soon as the words left my mouth. Would I regret this? Most definitely. Did Peter need to know? No, but he deserved to.

Peter frowned. “Really? Like… what kind of thoughts?”

I sighed and ran a hand down my face.

“Fuck, Peter, I just… You’re Peter Parker. You’re Spiderman! And I’m just-”

“Amazing, beautiful, the best partner I could ever ask for. Should I go on?” he asked with a small smirk, and I let out an amused huff as I placed a hand against his chest and lightly pushed him.

“I’m serious, Peter. I’m just… I’m fucked up, okay? Nothing about me is normal, hell the thoughts I have certainly aren’t. And I doubt you wanna be with someone who has so much shit going on with them-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Peter interrupted, waving his hands in front of my face. “Who said anything about me not wanting to be with you?”

I scoffed. “I mean, it’s a no brainer, Peter. You saw me just now. I mean, sometimes I break down over the dumbest shit-”

“It’s not dumb if it makes you upset,” he said, his tone a bit harsh.

I didn’t know how to respond to that. No one had ever really validated my feelings like that before.

“I-”

“No, y/n. Why would you think any of this would be a problem for me? I mean… No, nevermind, I understand why you would think that. You can’t help it right? But listen to me.” He placed his hands on my arms, making sure I was focusing on him. “No matter how messed up you think you are… you’ll always be my favorite person, y/n. You don’t have to hide how you feel, you don’t need to be scared. If you’re having a bad day, tell me, and we can have a bad day together. We can lay in bed all day and munch on food that will probably take years off of our life, we can do anything you want. Just tell me, okay? If something ever happened to you… shit, y/n.”

He then pulled me into a bone crushing hug, holding onto me as if I’d disappear if he let me go.

“That’s my worst nightmare. I could handle being kicked out of the avengers or any other terrible stuff. But losing you? Just thinking about it breaks my heart, baby.”

I felt the tears rising once again as I took in what he said, not used to hearing someone say these things to me. Leave it to Peter Parker to make me feel completely vulnerable and open, something I usually hated. I immediately relaxed in his embrace, letting out a soft cry as my arms wrapped around his waist and I buried my face in his neck.

“I love you, Peter,” I muttered softly, my heart skipping when I felt Peter’s lips against my temple, smiling against my skin.

“I love you too, y/n. Please don’t ever forget that.”

Maybe opening up a bit wasn’t the worst thing that could happen.

[jalapeno-princess]

Second Chances

CEO Mark Tuan X Chef Reader

Word Count: 18.5K (Damn this is the longest imagine I’ve ever written I didn’t even realize how long it was)

Genre: Ex’s to Lovers, angst, fluff

Summary: There were no words to describe the love you and Mark had for one another. You were an aspiring chef and after graduating high school and going straight in to culinary school, everything seemed to be falling in to place for you. You were pursuing your dream career with the love of your life by your side. You felt as if life was going perfectly for you. That was until one night, something happens at a dinner party where he finds himself having to choose between you and his family and by choosing his family, he lost you. Years later, after starting up your own restaurant and becoming an extremely successful and renowned chef, your first catering client just so happens to be your ex-boyfriend and his soon to be wife.

A/n: Hey guys! A bitch is back and dying here in this quarantine. I hope you are all doing well. I AM SO FUCKING SHOOK OVER THEIR COME BACK LET ME TELL YOU I AM NOT BEING BIASED BUT THIS IS MY BABY MARK’S COMEBACK UGH DO NOT GET ME STARTED THAT MAN IS OTHERWORLDLY AND WE DON’T DESERVE HIM. Anyways, this imagine is based on the song “Once upon a dream” by Lana Del Rey and I don’t know why but lately, all her songs have been reminding me of Mark (I literally wrote at least 10 Mark imagines based on her songs ugh I can’t get over her last album and how almost every single song makes me think of Mark) I’m #sorrynotsorry this is so long but I hope you all enjoy! This is honestly the reason why I’m failing in my marine science class BUT WHATEVER (BTW, if you’re a JB stan, I suggest you stay away. Don’t say I didn’t warn you)

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem But if I know you, I know what you'll do You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream

“Hey boss, there’s a lady on the line. She’s wondering if we can cater to her wedding.” You smiled politely at your sous chef as he popped his head in to your office and silently thanked him before picking up the phone. 

“Thank you for calling Sunrise Restaurant, this is y/n. How may I help you today?” 

A soft and gentle voice quickly answered. “Hello. I’m a big fan of you and your cooking. I’ve been to your restaurant many times and I think your food would be perfect to serve to the guests at my wedding. Do you guys cater?”

You took a second to think about it. You owned a decent sized restaurant, but the amount of chefs you had were enough to cook for your customers. There were three sous chefs, two prep cooks and one line cook. No one has ever asked you to cater for an event before, so you didn’t think you and your team, no matter how talented and hard working they all were, were capable of taking on such a task. However, the thought of it did excite you. If things were to be a success and the guests of her wedding were to appreciate your food the way the lady on the phone seemed to, your restaurant would become even more successful this bringing in so much more customers. Without a second thought, you found yourself agreeing. 

“When is the wedding and approximately how many people are you planning on inviting?” The line went silent for a few seconds before she spoke up again. 

“It’s in August and I’m expecting at least 150 people. Is that okay?” You hummed in agreement while writing it down. Once you were finished with the call, you’d have to alert your team beforehand even if her wedding wasn’t for another five months. 

“Would you mind coming in sometime this week so we could talk about the menu?” Although you couldn’t see her, the way her pitch increased made it known that she probably had a huge grin on her face. 

“Of course! I’ll call you again to set up an appointment with you. You don’t know how much this means to me! Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day.”

As soon as you hung up, you released a long sigh. Sure, you were always up for a challenge, but you should’ve consulted with your fellow chefs before signing them up to something they may not want to be apart of. However, you were very confident in your team, you’ve been working with them for over three years. If anything, you considered them to be family rather than just mere employees. 

After taking a few moments to relax, you made your way towards the kitchen where they were all preparing their sections for dinner service. 

“Hey guys, I need to talk to you.” The smiles that were all on their faces as they chased each other around the kitchen soon were replaced with blank and worried expressions. 

“It’s nothing bad. Well, that’s my opinion. I don’t know how you all will feel about it and I should have talked to you before accepting the offer, but I agreed in catering to a wedding. I’m sorry if you guys don’t want to do that but—“ you let out a soft giggle when you saw all of them releasing breaths of relief. 

Two of your sous chefs Yugyeom and Jinyoung made their way toward you and tightly sandwiched you in between the two of them. Since both guys were quite taller and more broad than your petite frame, you were practically suffocating from their embrace and began playfully punching on their chests. 

“How is it that the tiniest one of us is the one who tells us what to do? You’re so cute y/n. Shit, you scared us. I thought the restaurant was closing or something.” 

You glared at the lanky boy and shoved him towards his section. “Hey! My restaurant is pretty amazing if I do say so myself. There’s no way I’d let this place shut down. I’ve worked too hard to open it up just to let it close.” 

Soon you felt another presence behind you and arms were wrapped around your waist as he placed his chin on your shoulder. “You better watch what you say Yugyeom. She might be tiny, but she’s feisty and at the end of the day, she cuts your checks.” You absentmindedly leaned back in to Jaebum’s chest but quickly came to your senses and remembered who you were currently surrounded by. “We’re perfectly capable of handling a wedding y/n. Don’t you trust us? If we can feed at least 600 people from the time we open to the time we close everyday I’m sure we can handle a wedding. We’ll be fine. You’re an amazing chef and a wonderful restaurant owner. The client chose you for a reason. There’s nothing to worry about.” You smiled softly at the older boy while he playfully pinched your cheek, earning the two of you groans from the others. 

“Stop trying to butter up the head chef Jaebum. Just because the two of you have a little thing for each other—OW. I can’t cook if my arm is in pain. Control your woman Jaebum!” Your eyes widened in shock at BamBam’s sudden revelation and right as you were about to chase after him, Jaebum softly tightened his grip around your waist. 

“Don’t waste your time on him. We have customers to tend to chef. Come on, the sooner we finish, the sooner you and I can go out to dinner.” 

What you and Jaebum has was hard to describe. Out of the six guys, Jaebum was the first one you met three years ago in culinary school. He was always to himself and your classmates labeled him to be mysterious. There was one time the two of you were paired up for an assignment and it was in those few weeks of working alongside each other that you learned of how kind and extremely soft he was. To most people, he was intimidating and he hardly had any friends in your major because of it; but he liked it that way. That was until he made a friend in you and from that day on, the two of you were attached to the hip. 

He was the first person you reached out to when you began planning on opening up a restaurant and he was quick to agree to be one of your chefs. Although you’ve known him for quite some time now, the two of you only recently started developing feelings for each other a little over three months ago but even then, it never escalated in to more than just some flirtatious banter, lingering touches and stolen glances between you two. However, even if you wanted to consider Jaebum to be something more, your heart would never let you. 

As much as you kept trying to tell yourself it was because you didn’t want to lose your friendship with him if things were to go south between the both of you, you knew there was more to it. 

The night went off without a hitch as it did every night and once it was over, Jackson offered to treat everyone out to dinner as a way to celebrate your restaurant’s first catering opportunity. However, you were too tired and couldn’t wait to go to bed. This earned you multiple frowns and boos from the rest of the crew but Jaebum was quick to silence them with a scowl. 

“She’s had a long day. It’s understandable. You guys have fun, I’ll take her home-“ This brought even more boos but also a couple of winks and eyebrow raises from the two youngest chefs. 

“Just say you want to have y/n all to yourself. We all know neither of you are going to get any sleep tonight if you go home together—that’s it! The next time we wash uniforms I’m purposely putting a red sock in your pile you asshole. Good night y/n. Get some rest and we’ll see you again tomorrow.” 

You said your goodbyes to the guys while Jaebum reached for your things and led you to his car. “Congrats again y/n. This’ll be great publicity for the restaurant if things go well with the wedding.” You felt warmth rise to your cheeks as he opened the passenger door for you. Whenever any one of the other chefs would compliment you, you’d simply smile and thank them; but whenever Jaebum said something nice about you, you always found yourself blushing. 

Something about the way he’d look at you as if you were the only girl in the world would send butterflies to your tummy. However, he had yet to take things further between you both and you felt as if he was hesitant for the same reasons you were. But you liked how things were going with you and Jaebum, and your restaurant  was your main focus as of right now. A relationship wasn’t in your plans at the moment, especially because of how your last one ended.

“But what if it all goes to shit Jaebum? What if I mess up? What if the guests don’t like our food? What if we forget something once we get there and what if—“ he brought his finger up to your lips in attempts to prevent you from continuing saying such negative things about yourself. Jaebum thought the world of you and hated that you never saw yourself the way he saw you. 

From the first day he met you in college, he knew you were someone special. He saw how dedicated you were when it came to your craft and perfecting your dishes. He always looked up to you and could only dream of being even half of an amazing chef as you were. When you first called Jaebum to tell him you were opening your own restaurant and asked him to be one of your sous chefs, he wasn’t surprised to hear that you were opening your own restaurant. It was a dream of yours ever since you were a little girl. Jaebum was completely aware of how many extra hours you picked up at your job on top of being a full time student just to save up for a restaurant. Seeing as how you did it in less than a year after graduating was pretty impressive and he knew you had it in you. 

“Will you stop that? Stop thinking so negative about yourself y/n. You’re one of the best chefs in the state. They didn’t write about you in the newspaper for no reason. It’s obvious you have a gift y/n. That lady chose our restaurant out of the hundreds of other restaurants who are known for catering and you wanna know why? Because our food is spectacular. Our recipes, our menu. It’s unique, it’s different. Our staff is entertaining, you’ve decorated the place really nicely and guess what? The owner and head chef is an extraordinary person. You are a marvel y/n. Now stop worrying that pretty little head of yours and go get some rest. We have a long week ahead of us. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”

The rest of the week went by far too quickly and finally, it was the day the soon to be newlyweds were coming in to meet with you about their wedding day. The bride Erica, whose name you learned when she set up a meeting with you two days after your first call, called you just a few minutes before her scheduled time to let you know she was running late but that her fiancé was almost there and that it was fine if the two of you started without her. 

You were in your office filing some paperwork when Youngjae came in and let you know that Erica’s fiancé was there. When you walked in to the dining area and saw who he was referring to, your heart sank to your chest. It was as if the whole room was spinning and you couldn’t breathe. 

Three years. 

It’s been three years since you last saw him. 

Three years since he let you walk away from his parent’s house in tears. 

It’s been three years since he broke your heart and now here he was, standing in your restaurant, waiting to meet with you to talk about his wedding. A wedding the two of you talked about many times in your almost seven years of dating. You felt like you were about to throw up. Was it too late to say you couldn’t do it? There was no way you’d be able to cater to your ex boyfriend’s wedding. You couldn’t stomach the thought. 

“Y/n, aren’t you coming?” You didn’t even realize you weren’t moving until you felt the older boy tug at your wrist. 

“Youngjae, I—“ If you were coming off as rude and unprofessional, you didn’t care. This was the man you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Your first love, your soulmate, your best friend. How could you possibly cater to a wedding of a man you planned on marrying? There was no way you’d be able to do it without crying during the process. All the memories of your relationship to your last night together came rushing back and you felt tears brimming at your eyelids. Before you could turn around and attempt to walk away, you heard his breath hitch. 

“Y/n.” You released an exasperated sigh before making your way towards him. “Hey. It’s been a while.” As hard as it was seeing him after all these years, you had to put on a strong face and pretend like nothing was wrong. No matter how much you were on the brink of crying. You wouldn’t let yourself cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve you or your tears. 

“Please follow me. We have no time to waste. I have to start preparing for the lunch service.” The sharpness in your tone and the spine chilling glare you sent his way didn’t surprise Mark. He deserved it after what he put you through. What he wasn’t ready for, was seeing you after three years. He didn’t think he would be able to sit in a room alone with you without crying over what no longer was. 

Seeing you again after how things ended between the two of you only brought back images of your puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks. It was the worst day of his life. 

When the two of you entered your office, you made your way towards your secret cabinet where you stored your alcohol and began preparing yourself a drink. When you heard him snicker, you rolled your eyes and took a shot. 

“Are you allowed to drink on the job?” You poured yourself a glass of red wine before finally taking your seat in front of him. 

“This is my restaurant. I can do whatever I want and I’m going to need a few sips of liquid courage if I’m going to have to deal with you.” He frowned before sitting up right so he could take a better look at you. From the day Mark met you, you always had a very bright and bubbly personality. You were one of the sweetest, kindest and most generous people Mark knew. But hearing you speak to him so harshly made him hate himself for turning you in to such a stone cold person. 

“Look y/n, I can already tell that you hate having me in your presence and I’m sorry this is happening right now. You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to. I can talk to Erica and we can find someone else—“ You shook your head in disagreement. 

“I am a chef. My professional life comes before my personal one. I’m fine. If you’re going to have a problem with dealing with me then you can go ahead and tell her you want to look someone else.” He furrowed his brows while biting his lip. It was something he did many times when he was contemplating something. You hated that you still remembered the meaning behind every single movement of his. 

“I’m happy to see that you followed your dreams of completing culinary school and opening your own restaurant. I’m proud of you y/n. And you haven’t changed a bit. Still breathtakingly beautiful, as you always were. Always will be.” You scoffed in disbelief. Was he really saying all of this to you? He was engaged to be married and yet complimented you on your looks. Sure, he made it known how beautiful he thought you were every single day back when the two of you were still together, but this was a completely different story. He also had the nerve to tell you he was proud of you for following your dreams when it was the reason for your breakup in the first place? You couldn’t believe your ears. 

You and Mark started dating in your freshman year of high school. He was a junior you had met in P.E. Him and his group of friends were known throughout your high school. He was the captain of both the baseball and soccer team and he was one of the only students with a car. A Lexus to be exact. Everyone was completely aware that Mark’s family owned one of the biggest technology companies in the country. However, he was very simple and modest. He wasn’t this narcissistic, big headed asshole that everyone assumed he was just because his family was rich. 

One day, your class was running the mile run when you tripped on a rock and sprained your ankle. Mark was quick to run towards you and didn’t hesitate to pick you up bridal style and carried you all the way to the nurse’s office. He stayed with you for the rest of the period and in that half an hour, the two of you talked about anything and everything your hearts desired. From that day on, you became really good friends and it didn’t take long for you to fall for him. He never failed to make you laugh at the cheesiest jokes, he would always bring you snacks and made sure you were eating your meals. He would drop you home from school almost every day and when the two of you exchanged phone numbers, he would find himself texting you all kinds of memes, videos and links to posts he’d find funny. 

Less than a month after your accident, he confessed his feelings for you and you were excited that he reciprocated your feelings. Dating Mark was a dream. You didn’t think he could be even more amazing as a boyfriend than he was a friend, but he proved you wrong. He took you on many dates that he’d plan out thoroughly, wrote you cute little love letters, attempted to help you with your studies even if most of the time you were together was spent making out and would end practice early just to spend as much time with you as he could. Since he was well aware that he was your first boyfriend, he let you control the pace of your relationship. He only did whatever you asked him to do and didn’t want to cross any boundaries in fear of scaring you away. 

Although he’s been in multiple relationships before, you were the first girl he’s ever been in love with and he had a huge feeling you were going to be the last.

When Mark graduated from high school, you were afraid the distance was going to take a toll on your relationship. However, Mark never failed to reassure you that nothing would change between the the two of you. If anything, it brought the two of you closer. He made sure to continue picking you up and dropping you off to school because on some days, that was the only time he got to see you. And he never failed to call you and text you when he missed you. 

Your life revolved around the older boy. He was all your heart knew and wanted to know. You started losing friendships because of how focused you were on your relationship but you didn’t care. Mark was your main priority and he made it obvious in his actions that he felt the same way about you. 

Once you graduated from high school, you went straight in to culinary school and to say you were excited was an understatement. Cooking was a passion of yours from the time you could talk. When your siblings would watch cartoons, you found yourself watching the food network. Instead of joining a sport or some kind of dance class, you joined cooking and baking classes. There was something about the art of cooking that went beyond just throwing some instant noodles in to a pot of boiling water. 

Cooking meant more to you than what it did to most people. You were lucky that you had a boyfriend that was extremely supportive in your dreams and your goals. No matter how many times you told him no, Mark would buy you everything you needed in order to cook. All the supplies you needed in your classes, he bought nothing but the best brands. There were some days you felt shy having to bring your Martha Stewart cooking set to class knowing everyone else had brands that were sold at Walmart. 

Knowing that your boyfriend wanted nothing but the best for you made your heart flutter. Whenever you wanted to try a new recipe, he would always offer to be the taste tester even if you knew it was just his excuse to get a free meal; but he deserved it. Mark made it aware that he was your number one fan. The two of you moved in together not too longer after you graduated because he wouldn’t stop complaining about how much he missed you. 

Even when he was back in high school, he knew he was going to take over his dad’s position at his company when he were to retire. Which is why he never got to attend college and went straight to work at their company. However, you knew deep down that Mark had dreams of his own. 

You’d watch him draw pictures of buildings, you’d see him look at construction sites in awe and you’d catch him watching hgtv in the wee hours of the morning. Mark wanted to be an architect, there was no doubt about it and you knew your boyfriend was capable of becoming an amazing one. Unfortunately, whenever you’d bring the topic up to him, he’d give you a sad smile and just shrug it off; ultimately changing the topic. 

One thing you both loved and hated about him was how obedient he was. He did whatever people told him to do. From an early age, he was groomed to become a CEO, even if he wanted nothing to do with the company. 

On the night of your breakup, you and Mark were invited to his parent’s anniversary party. You’ve met the Tuan’s many times and they were some of the sweetest people you knew. They were also very particular when it came to their reputation and when Mrs.Tuan heard that her oldest son’s girlfriend wanted to become a chef, she wasn’t having any of it. You were all currently seated in their grand dining room area having dinner when curiosity got the best of her. 

“Y/n sweetheart, you’ve been with Mark for seven years now and you’ve been in college for almost three years but I have yet to learn what it is that you’re majoring in. What are you studying dear?” You smiled widely at her but before you could say anything, you felt a pinch on your thigh. You quickly turned towards your boyfriend and frowned at his worried face, not understanding what his expression meant. But once the words “culinary arts” fell from your lips and the whole room went in to uproar, you knew exactly why Mark looked so bothered. 

You felt like everyone was stabbing at your heart with every laugh that was being thrown your way and when you turned to Mark, he was staring at the ground with a blank face. 

“Y/n, dear. You cannot be serious. A chef? Are you crazy? You want to cook for people? Now why in the world would you want to do that? There are so many other occupations out there much more impressive than that. Whose going to be impressed when I tell them that my future daughter in law is a cook? I’m sorry, but that just won’t do.” 

You could feel your throat getting dry and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole in that moment. As much as you liked and respected Mark’s family, you couldn’t go past the fact that they were looking down on you and belittling your dream career. They should accept you and your future career for what it was. 

However, it wasn’t their words that were hurting you. The fact that Mark allowed them to continue attacking you and treating you as if you were some pathetic being who didn’t deserve to be there instead of defending you and your dream is what was slowly tearing you apart. How could he claim to support you in everything you did, love you more than anything or anyone in the world and want nothing but the best for you, yet fail to protect you from his family? His silence spoke volumes, which is why you weren’t surprised when your next few words fell from your mouth. 

“You have nothing to worry about Mrs.Tuan, because I have no plans on marrying your son for that matter. I refuse to marry in to a family who doesn’t accept nor support my dreams and I refuse to change a thing about for anyone but myself. Thank you for having me tonight. I wish you all nothing but the best. Happy anniversary.” You did not waste any time getting out of there and mentally cursed yourself as you remembered Mark drove the both of you to his parent’s house. 

You started briskly walking to the nearest bus stop seeing as how it was getting quite late. Tears began to fall from your cheeks when you came to the realization that Mark wasn’t chasing after you, but you knew his family probably kept him from doing so. 

Throughout your walk, a part of you felt as if you should’ve kept your mouth shut. No matter how much the Tuan family seemed to like you, you should’ve known that they were people who cared about their wealth and social status. But another part of you refused to give up on your dreams in order to impress people who clearly didn’t deserve you at all. 

The fact that Mark didn’t fight for you or for your relationship is what was killing you the most. You loved him with every fiber of your being. You had plans to settle down with him, get married to him, have kids with him; you wanted it all. Now, you wanted nothing to do with him. You were going to head back to your shared apartment in order pack up everything and head back to your parent’s place. When you finally reached the bus stop, you called your mom up and explained the whole situation to her. 

You’ve never heard your mom swear so many times in one sentence before. She was fuming and she had every right to be. As much as she wanted to be angry with Mark, she was much more disappointed. Parents claim to want nothing but the best for you. However, if you feel in your heart that what they want for you, isn’t what you need, it’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re going to take responsibility for your own life, or continue to let them tell you what to do. Mark would always do whatever his parents wanted him to and there was nothing you could do about it. 

Once you hung up the phone with your mom, you took a look at yourself and let out a hysterical laugh. You were a mess. Your eyes were swollen and your cheeks were red and puffy. It just occurred to you that you lost the love of your life. This was it for the two of you and you didn’t know what you were going to do. How were you going to live without the man who was all that you knew? You were so deep in your thoughts that you failed to notice Mark trying to get in touch with you. After a few moments, you saw his Lexus pull up to the bus stop and you turned towards the other direction. 

“Y/n. I am so fucking sorry baby I—“ he got out of the car and made his way towards you but you continued to give him the silent treatment. When he came in to view, you refused to look at him. 

Your mind felt disgusted with the boy kneeling in front of you. Where was the man who held you as you cried because finals were too hard? Where was the man who stayed up till the wee hours of the morning to take care of you when you got the flu? Where was the man who bought you twelve different pints of ice cream once because he knew how much you loved ice cream? Where was the man who cried in to your shoulder when Moana’s grandmother died? Where was the man who told you he loved you more than life itself and promised you the sun, the moon and the stars? It was clearly not the little boy on his knees in front of you. The boy in front of you chose his family, his pride and his reputation over you. Over your seven year relationship. Over your love, your happiness, your life and future together. This was not the man you loved. 

“Don’t. Just go Mark. They’re probably waiting for you. Go.” He shook his head and wrapped his arms tightly around your legs as he placed his chin on your thighs. “Mark, get up. You’re being ridiculous.” 

He began to cry in to your lap and you could feel the tears building up again. One of the things you loved most about Mark was how sensitive he was. He cried over many different things and you knew it was because he had a big heart. Whenever he would cry, you’d find yourself crying too. You hated seeing Mark cry, but he never cried over you. He never had a reason to, until now. He made a mistake, and he was now paying for it. 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve said something. I’m so fucking stupid. But you need to understand that—“ you groaned in disbelief. 

“I need to understand what Mark? That I’m not good enough for you? Or your family? That I’m considered trash to you because I want to become a chef? What’s so good about you huh? You’re taking over a company. Woohoo! Good for you! We all know that’s not what you want. It’s being handed over to you. You don’t have to do shit. I’m sorry I don’t come from a wealthy family like you. Things don’t get handed to me on a silver platter like they do for you Mark. I have to work for the things that I want. You made me feel like shit. Like I’m nothing in front of your family. You made me feel as if you were ashamed of me and my career path when you are the number one person who pushes me to go after my goals and chase after my dreams.” 

His sobs only became louder the longer you explained your thoughts to him, but you didn’t care. He needed to know how pathetic he made you feel. 

“How do you think your parents would react if they knew their son put hundreds of dollars from their company in to buying me cooking equipment? I bet they wouldn’t be too pleased knowing you’d leave work early in order to come support me at my competitions and drive me to wherever I needed to go. Nor would they be too happy knowing you paid off my entire tuition no matter how many times I begged you not to. Love is about sacrifices Mark. You claim to love me and up until tonight I know you did, but you failed to sacrifice your pride for me and I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that. Thank you, for showing me your true colors tonight. I’m glad I found out who you really are and what your main priorities are now rather than later as I waste the rest of my life with you.”

He finally took his face off of your lap and looked up at you. Seeing the broken look on his face made you want to cry again, but you held yourself together. He gripped both of your wrists before roughly connecting your lips together. Your heart was begging you to react to the kiss. You wanted to be understanding, you knew how hard it was for Mark having to choose between his family and you. But if they were really his family, they would love you and support you no matter what the case and they failed to do so. 

You knew this was probably your last few moments with him and as much as you wanted to hate him, the love you had for him would always be stronger. Seven years of your life spent with him was not going to disappear in a matter of seconds. So you were selfish and allowed him to kiss you for the time being. Just a few seconds later, you pulled away and placed one more kiss on his lips.

“Come on, we’ll talk about this more at home—“ You shook your head in disagreement and you could feel him grip on to the hem of your party dress.

“Y/n, please. Please baby. Hear me out. Let me make things right, please. I can’t lose you. You mean everything to me y/n. I love you so fucking much. I can’t live without you. Are you really going to let seven years go to shit because you want to be stubborn?” 

You scowled as you tried to pry him off of you. “DON’T YOU DARE GIVE ME THAT SHIT. YOU DECIDED TO LET SEVEN YEARS GO TO SHIT WHEN YOU FAILED TO DEFEND ME. WHEN YOU FAILED TO PROTECT ME. WHEN YOU LET YOUR FAMILY LAUGH AT ME AND TALK NEGATIVELY ABOUT ME AND MY DREAMS. You should have grown a fucking pair and told your parents just how proud you are of me and how supportive you are of my occupation but no. You let your mom make me feel stupid and inferior because she doesn’t think my occupation is good enough for you. You always have to do what mommy and daddy tell you huh? I’m sorry. I refuse to let anyone tell me how to live my life. I love myself too much for that. I love you Mark, and I’m always going to love you. But I love myself more. So much more. Have a nice life and take care of yourself.” 

With perfect timing, the bus stopped in front of the curb and you grabbed your things while quickly getting on. You faintly heard him calling after you, but you made your way towards the back and plugged in your headphones. It felt like a huge weight was taken off of your shoulders. Once you reached your apartment, you released a sigh of relief when you noticed he wasn’t there and began to pack away all your things. You were going to miss this place. So many memories were made here and you couldn’t help but reminisce.However, tonight’s events would not stop playing in your mind and you decided to push back all memories of Mark to the back of your thoughts. 

You successfully put away all your things before he could come home and stop you and made your way to your car in order to drive to your parents house. You haven’t seen or heard from Mark since that dreadful night and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him or thought about him from time to time. But you knew what you deserved and like he’s told you multiple times before, you deserved nothing but the best and that’s the only thing you were going to accept. 

“Yeah. All my hard work paid off. Let’s get started on this shall we?” You tried your best to look anywhere but at him. There was no doubt Mark was good looking. He was the most handsomest man you’ve ever laid your eyes on and like a fine wine, he only gets better with age. However, you could still see remnants of the teenage boy you fell in love with many years ago. You knew you wouldn’t be able to concentrate if you were to look at him. 

“Let’s start off with allergies. What is Erica allergic to?” When he didn’t respond after a few minutes, you gave up on giving him the cold shoulder and finally looked up at him. You looked at him in curiosity and he shrugged at you. “You don’t know what your fiancée is allergic to? Seriously?” 

Hearing his name and the word fiancée together sent an unsettling feeling to your stomach. You’ve always dreamt of going through this with him. Planning things for your wedding. Talking with a florist, a catering company, a baker, hiring a wedding planner. You would always find yourself planning your future wedding and Mark would always join in. Knowing he wanted to be involved always made your heart melt in to a puddle. That should be you sitting next to him with his ring on your finger, but things just weren’t meant to work out that way. You could only hope Erica was nearby so you could get this whole thing over with. 

“If I’m being honest, I don’t know much about her. So we should just wait for her to come.” You released a frustrated sigh before humming in agreement.

 “So, how is the restaurant doing so far? I like how you decorated the place. It’s really—you. The wallpaper, the booths and tables, the flooring, the fairy lights, the wooden plaques you always loved buying from Tj Maxx. If you don’t mind me asking, why Sunrise? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice name. But why?” 

You furrowed your brows and took a sip of your wine. You couldn’t believe you were going to tell him the reason, especially because it had to do with him and your relationship. But you were never one to lie. “Remember that one day we were watching the sunset at the beach and I began to cry because I was upset at the thought of how all beautiful things come to an end?” He nodded in remembrance of the memory and motioned for you to continue. 

“When we broke up, I was a wreck. For months. Hell, almost an entire year. I don’t know how I did it, but I graduated from culinary school with a 3.6 g.p.a and worked at multiple restaurants, trying to get as much food service experience as possible. I saved up enough money to open up a restaurant and here I am today. This restaurant had no name for two months because nothing sounded good to me. One of my sous chefs told me it’s always the darkest before the dawn and that with every sunset, there is a sunrise. As corny as it sounds, with the sunset of our relationship, came there sunrise of all my hard work and success. I lost you, but I gained myself. I achieved all my goals and now look, I own a five star restaurant. I’m a boss bitch if I do say so myself.”

This earned you a soft giggle and you didn’t realize how much you missed his laugh until you heard it again. Mark had one of those distinct and very contagious laughs. Although he was almost 27 years old, he had the cutest little high pitch laugh that you were sure could cure cancer. “Y/n, I—“ before he could continue his sentence, there was a knock on the door. 

“Oh my God, I am so sorry. I had a doctor’s appointment at 11 but it ended up being pushed back till 11:30. I also made a quick stop to my favorite bakery which is right next door. Here y/n, this is for you. This is one of their most popular items, a peanut butter and raspberry jelly croissant. I hope you like it.”

You gave her a soft smile before attempting to reach for it but Mark was quick to pull the paper bag away. “Mark—“ he took the pastry and placed it back in to the plastic bag she was holding. 

“Y/n is allergic to peanuts and she hates raspberries. Just save it for yourself and eat it later.” You looked at him in awe. Mark was always such an amazing listener. He always asked you so many questions about yourself and what you were allergic to was one of his first questions even before the two of you started dating. You found yourself warming up at the thought of how attentive he used to be whenever it came to you, but you quickly came back to your senses. He was getting married. Even if seeing him again awakened some feelings you still had for him, you couldn’t let little things like that affect you in any way. 

Hate was a very strong word. You couldn’t say you hated Mark. You could never hate him, no matter how much you wanted to. But you were disappointed in him and you didn’t know which feeling was worst. 

“Wait, how do you know—“

“We were talking about allergies before you came. Can you tell her yours, I have no clue.” 

Seeing the way the two of them were interacting made you confused. For two people who were getting married in a few months, they sure didn’t act like a couple and by the looks of it, Mark seemed irritated with her. She was completely oblivious towards his emotions, but you’ve been with him long enough to know when someone was getting on his nerves. 

How could they be getting married when it felt as if neither of them wanted to be there? It’s as if the woman on the phone and the one sitting in front of you were two completely different people. She didn’t have the excited tone in her voice like she did a few days prior and you couldn’t help but feel her fiancé had something to do with it. 

“Okay, how about we decide on the way the food will be served first? Did you guys want a buffet, or would you rather the dinner be brought to the guests?” Mark leaned back in his chair and shrugged his shoulders. He was making it pretty clear that he didn’t want anything to do with the decision making, nor did he seem to care about the wedding in general. You couldn’t help but get curious about their relationship, not that it was any of your business. You were consulting them about a catering inquiry not having a couples therapy session. And what did it matter to you anyway? Mark was in your past and you planned on keeping him there at all costs. 

While you and Erica continued to go through the menu, it felt as if Mark wasn’t even there. However, you could feel his eyes on you the entire time. Your assumptions were confirmed when you turned to face him as Erica brought up what she was interested in having. 

“Maybe we could do a surf and turf? So maybe some type of meat with lobster or crab—“ You looked at Mark and your breath hitched when you saw that he was already looking at you. 

“Mark’s allergic to shellfish.” Although you looked away before either of them could respond, the smirk that rose on his face made your heart rate increase.

“Oh, really? Well, in that case we could go with salmon or maybe cod?” Mark sat upright and placed his hands on the table as if he was now interested in the conversation. The rest of the meeting ran smoothly, or so you kept trying to tell yourself. As you and Erica continued to make decisions, Mark would throw in unnecessary comments and you couldn’t help but feel as if he was doing it purposely to get under your skin. But you didn’t let it bother you in any way. You weren’t going to allow him to get to you. Not anymore. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did the two of you meet?” Once the question fell from your lips, you were quick to notice the way Mark tensed up and you were extremely curious as to why. Why did that question seem to bother him?

“Oh, well our fathers are company partners and they thought we’d be a good match for each other.” A bitter laugh fell from your lips as you ignored the fact that Erica was there and turned towards Mark.

“Still doing everything daddy tells you huh? Why am I not surprised?” He glared at you but he knew he had no right to fire back. It was the truth. The two of you were so busy in your own little stare down that you failed to notice how confused Erica now was. 

“I’m sorry, am I missing something here? Do you two know each other?” 

You gave her a sad smile and nodded in agreement. “Knew. We went to school together. That’s pretty much it. Well, I think we’re done here for today. If you have any more questions Erica or need to update the menu, feel free to call the restaurant and I’d be happy to help. Have a nice day.” 

She quietly thanked you before making her way out, however, when she noticed Mark wasn’t following after her she tugged on his wrist. “Come on Mark, we have to meet with the florist.” 

You knew there were so many things he probably wanted to say to you, but you didn’t want to hear it. This meeting was nothing but a coincidence. But you couldn’t help but feel like it was the universe trying to tell you something. Out of the hundreds and thousands of people living in your hometown, how could your ex boyfriend and his soon to be wife be your first catering client? There was no way this happened by coincidence. 

After the two of them left your office, you sank to your knees and began to cry. Why did seeing him again after three years upset you so much? Your sobs filled the room and you felt as if you couldn’t breathe. You were so caught up in crying that you failed to notice Jaebum enter the room until you were brought on to his lap. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Shhh, you’re fine y/n. I’m here. Everything going to be alright.” He continued to console you and gently rocked you back and forth to try and get you to calm down. He ran his fingers through your hair and placed a few soft kisses on your forehead. Not too long after he entered your office, you stopped crying and sighed in to his chest. 

“Have you ever had your heart broken before Jaebum?” The sudden question flustered the older boy and he didn’t know how to respond. 

“Y/n—“ you frowned at his worried expression. 

“That man that just left, he’s my ex boyfriend. Ironic isn’t it? I’m catering to my ex boyfriend’s wedding. This has to be a joke. Someone must’ve set me up, this is bullshit. There’s no way I can cater to his wedding. Is it too late to cancel Jaebum? I know it’s unprofessional, but look at me. I’m a fucking wreck and this was only the first meeting. What more at the actual wedding?” 

Jaebum didn’t know how to respond. It was clear that seeing Mark again was ruining you and the walls you’ve took so long to build up after your relationship ended. He didn’t know what to do or how to help you. He wasn’t aware of the situation and even if you’ve known each other for a while, he had no clue who Mark was. His heart hurt for you. Seeing you so distraught over your ex and this unfortunate situation broke his heart and all he could do was hold you as you cried. Once your sobs began to slow down, you slowly got up from off of his lap and wiped your tears before giggling softly. 

“Sorry, I ruined your uniform and I probably kept you from doing something important—“ he brought his finger up to your cheek and wiped away a few of your tears. 

“Will you stop apologizing? God, how you are still so cute after crying is beyond me. What am I going to do with you y/n? You are the strongest and most hardworking person I know. I’m sure it is a lot to take in, but you’ll be fine. We’ve had people complain about our food, compare us to other restaurants and even walk out without paying for their meals and you’ve handled each and every negative situation with so much class because that’s who you are. If you decide that you don’t want to go along with this, then you don’t have to. But the y/n I know isn’t going to let something like this get in the way of her passion. You don’t have to tell me everything, just know that I’m here for you if you need to talk. Why don’t you just call it a day y/n? I can handle it from here. Maybe go to the spa or something. Take your mind off of what went down today.” 

You shook your head in disagreement before pulling him in for a hug. “I’m a big girl Jae. Although a relaxing day at the spa sounds nice, I’ll be fine. Thank you for consoling me. I should be outside in a few, I just have to finish up with their menu.” He placed one more kiss on your forehead and gave you a sad smile before heading back to the kitchen. 

Jaebum was right, there was no way you could work without making a mistake. Thoughts of Mark were clouding you your mind. An arranged marriage. He was getting married to someone because his family set him up for it. Although you didn’t feel like you had the right to think like that, it was only natural that you did. You watched them interact. You paid attention to the way Mark looked at his fiancée in disgust. It was nothing compared to the way he would look at you. Whenever Mark looked at you, your heart would always combust. He looked at you as if you were one of the seven wonders of the world. Whenever Mark looked at you, you couldn’t help but feel like the most ethereal being he’s ever laid eyes on. 

He looked at Erica like she was scum under his toes. She didn’t seem all too happy with him either, but she was handling it better than he was. Taking Jaebum’s advice, you took off your uniform, grabbed your things and made your way towards the kitchen. As the guys heard you coming in, you noticed how quick they pulled away from the huddle they were formed in and you knew Jaebum had probably warned them about your frazzled state. 

“Hey boss, we’re ready whenever you are.” You smiled softly at Youngjae while playfully running your fingers through his soft, blue locks. 

“I’m not feeling all too well. I’m sorry guys. I’m going to call it a day if that’s okay. Jaebum is in charge, please don’t give him a hard time. If you need anything, feel free to call me. I’ll be back tomorrow. Thank you for all your hard work.” The guys nodded in agreement and said their goodbyes as you made your way towards the door. 

“Please get some rest. And don’t overthink too much. Call me if you need to okay? I’m always here for you.” You grinned up at the handsome man and gently pinched his cheek. 

“Who knew the oh so intimidating and mysterious Im Jaebum would be such a softie for little old me? Thank you again. I’ll see you tomorrow. If I come back tomorrow and the restaurants in flames, I’ll kick your ass.” His laughter filled the room and he jokingly shoved you out the door. 

For the rest of the day, you did whatever you could to take your mind off of the fact that Mark was back in your life. You thought you were over him completely. Or at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. It was one thing to say you had no feelings for someone when they were no longer in your life. 

But now that you saw him and talked with him, the love you had for him all those years ago came rushing back. He was your first love, there was no way you could pretend that nothing ever happened between the two of you. 

A week after your extremely awkward meeting with Mark and Erica, business only increased, giving you a chance to focus on other things rather than your ex boyfriend who seemed to be clouding up your thoughts. Unfortunately, Mark took your little run in as a sign of fate. He was a realist. Like you had thought right after talking with him, there was no way this was a coincidence. Erica could have picked any catering company to reach out to but she chose your restaurant instead. 

Mark never believed in things like fate, or soulmates. But that was all before he met you. When you came in to his life, you were all his heart craved to know. You were all he longed for and everything he’s ever dreamt of. You weren’t aware of how much he regrets that night at his parents house and if he had the chance, he’d do whatever he could to go back in time to change the turn of events. He was miserable without you. Heartbreak was a foreign word to him. Since the two of you were madly in love with each other and planned to spend the rest of your lives together at one point, he didn’t think he would ever experience the pain that people claimed came with a broken heart. However, right after you got on the bus and walked out of his life, he knew you took a huge part of him with you. He hasn’t been the same since. 

He wanted to chase after you, to beg you to forgive him. He would take any beating or any negative words you threw at him because God knows he deserved it. But instead he let you go. The damage was done and he knew that even if you were to forgive him, you’d never forget what he did. He’s never been with anyone since you left. Mark knew there was no one else for him. You were it and you’d always be. Which is why he made a vow to focus on nothing but work. He took on extra shifts in attempts to get you off of his mind, but it never worked. He couldn’t stop thinking about how those words fell from your lips and slapped him across the face. 

You have nothing to worry about Mrs.Tuan, because I have no plans on marrying your son for that matter. 

Once you said those words to his mom, he knew it was over. He didn’t even have to look at you to know that you were upset and as soon as you left the table, he got up and ran out in to the yard, screaming and punching at anything in sight while kicking down both the mailbox and trash can. Mark didn’t give two shits about his family’s company, he didn’t care about their wealth or social status. He’d give it all up if it meant getting you back in his life again. He still had a hard time understanding why he didn’t just speak up and tell his family the truth. If he wasn’t such a coward, the two of you would still be together and he’d be cheering you on and giving you his endless support like he always did.

Unfortunately, Mark wasn’t like you. He didn’t have the strength or courage to go against his family and chase after his dreams like you did. He cared about what people thought about him. He didn’t want his family to be upset with him. But hearing them talk so negatively about the girl he loved more than any single one of them made him angry beyond belief. You were right. By not defending you, he chose them. Whoever said blood is thicker than water had to be an idiot. You meant more to Mark than anyone sitting at that table that night, but being the pathetic man he was, he couldn’t find it in himself to go against his mother’s wishes. 

He knew they wanted nothing but the best for him, or at least that’s what he thought. It took him years after your break up to come to terms with the fact that the Tuan’s would rather their son be miserable marrying the daughter of a wealthy business man who couldn’t give less of a shit about him other than his money, than to allow him to be with the love of his life who happened to be a chef. If they knew just how successful you and your restaurant had become, they wouldn’t have been so judge-mental towards you. 

As the years went by and Mark made it known that he had no interest in a relationship with anyone other than you, Mr.Tuan took it upon himself to find his son a bride. There was no way Mark could take control of such a big company without an equally successful woman by his side. When his father gave him the news that he was setting him up with the daughter of one of the company’s partners, Mark was floored. How could his father allow him to marry someone he never had met before let alone develop feelings for? 

Erica was a very sweet and soft spoken person and in Mark’s opinion, things could be worse. But he knew he could never look at her in a romantic way. He could never look at anyone the way he looked at you. It was his karma, but being the pushover he was, not being able to speak up against his parents, he found himself agreeing to the arranged marriage. His father kept trying to convince him that maybe somewhere along the line, the more time he spent with Erica, sooner or later he would develop some sort of feelings for her. It’s been almost a year since they started “dating” and the only skin-ship they shared between each other was the handshake that sealed the deal of their engagement. 

The word miserable couldn’t describe even half of what Mark was feeling. From the day you broke up with him up until now, he never stopped thinking about you. How you were doing, how school was treating you, how life would be like for the two of you if he just spoke up and praised you the way you deserved, if you missed him the way he missed you. If you still loved him, the way he couldn’t stop loving you. Seeing you again the other day made his heart both flutter and sink. He was meeting with you in regards to his wedding. Although you weren’t aware of the situation between him and Erica and he was sure you were moved on, a part of him felt guilty. Here he was with his fiancée, asking you to cater to their wedding. 

Not only did he feel uncomfortable being in a room with you, his ex-girlfriend and the woman he was still so madly in love with, but he was hiring you to do something his family practically laughed at you for doing. There was no way he could do that to you, but he had no choice. It took him every bone in his body not to walk behind your desk and pull you in to his embrace. 

There weren’t enough words to describe just how much he missed you. Mark didn’t think it was possible, but you were even more beautiful than when he last saw you. Your hair was longer, your eyes still had that pretty glow that he loved so much, your already petite frame got even smaller and you radiated so much confidence as you spoke. He was an idiot for letting you go and he’d never let himself live it down. 

As he made his way back to the apartment the two of you shared together, he began thinking about what to do to make things right between the two of you. Now that he knew where to find you and that there was a chance he’d get to see you a few more times, he had to do whatever he could to get you to forgive him. It was too late for you to become a couple again and he accepted that. But that didn’t mean the two of you couldn’t be friends and if that was the only way he could have you in his life, then so be it. He’d take whatever he could get. 

You could pretend as if you were unbothered by his presence, but Mark knew you like the back of his hand. Hell, he knew you just a bit more than you knew yourself. If you didn’t care about him, you wouldn’t have spoke up about his allergies, nor would you have brought up the fact that he hates artichokes. You wouldn’t have stolen glances at him the way you were when you thought he wasn’t looking. 

He saw how you smiled to yourself when he took the donut away from you and had to stop himself from blushing at the sight. He was older now and considerably more mature. Although he was still living by his parent’s rules, attempting to make his way back in to your life was a rule he was willing to break. That’s if you’d let him of course. 

When you went in to work one morning, your office was surrounded with dozens of sunflower arrangements and you knew exactly who they were from. Only one person knew how much you loved sunflowers; it was the same person who could not leave your mind. You furrowed your brows in confusion, why was he sending you flowers? Just because you had to work for him did not mean anything. You weren’t planning on reconnecting again. You just wanted the whole wedding to hurry up and be over with so that Mark would be out of your life completely and you could get your sanity back. 

Each bouquet had a card on it with different phrases and quotes you loved and you could feel warmth rising on your cheeks. You felt a tear against your cheek, but you refused to let any more fall. Did Mark think that sending you a bunch of flowers was going to fix what he broke years ago? He was getting married to someone who wasn’t you, so why was he sending you flowers? What did it mean? 

“Hey y/n, the food supplier is here—holy shit. It’s like a garden in here. These are obviously not from Jaebum, he doesn’t have the brains nor the money to think about buying all of this. Do you have a secret admirer? He must be rich. So that’s your type then huh boss? I better let Jaebum down easy—OW! For someone who claims I am your favorite, you always seem to show your affection through abuse. My bruise from the soup ladle you whacked me with is still healing you know!” 

You rolled your eyes before throwing on your apron and motioned the blue haired boy out of the room. “I think you’ve been spending too much time with Jackson and BamBam these days Youngjae. You’ve been exceptionally nosy and I hate that those two losers corrupted my sweet little line cook in to a monster. Don’t worry about the flowers, worry about the vegetables that need chopping. Shoo.” 

He playfully frowned while exiting and closed the door behind him. You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he remembered what your favorite flowers are. Every Valentine’s Day and birthday you celebrated together, no matter what gift he gave you, he’d always give you a bouquet of sunflowers. There was one bouquet that you had yet to read the letter attached and since curiosity got the best of you, you found yourself reading it. 

“I don’t care what you think, I know it’s fate that brought us together again. You don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to, but since we’ll be seeing each other every so often, it wouldn’t hurt to be civil. Give me a call when you get the chance.-MT” 

You released a frustrated sigh before plopping down in your chair. This man was going to be the death of you. As your mind began to have an internal argument with your heart, you found yourself reaching for your phone and sent him a quick text, thanking him for the flowers and asking him when he was free. Sure, there was no going back to what used to be; but he had a point. You couldn’t keep acting so cold towards him. The obvious animosity between the two of you which was more so on your part wasn’t going to make things any easier. He was quick to respond, letting you know that he was willing to meet right now if you were free in which you found yourself agreeing to. 

There were red flags going off in your head, but you didn’t care. It’s not like he’d be able to hurt you again, there was no chance of getting back together. Once the wedding was over, he’d be a married man and the two of you would go back to being strangers again. It bothered you that you were upset at the thought of no longer seeing him once this was all done but deep down you knew it was the fifteen year old girl who fell in love with Mark all those years ago that was making the decision for you. 

“Y/n, where did you move the first aid kit? Yugyeom’s dumb ass cut his finger again—wow. Are you giving up cooking to pursue decorating flower arrangements?” You shoved the older boy before removing your apron and reaching for your bag. 

“I have to meet up with someone. Can you let Jaebum know? I should be back in an hour. Thanks Jinyoung.” Before he could open his mouth to say anything, you were making your way out of the restaurant. You began feeling nervous, but at the same time a part of you felt happy to see him again and you hated yourself for feeling that way. 

He asked you to meet him at a coffee shop the two of you would always frequent back when you were together. He chose that place on purpose, you were sure of it. First the sunflowers, now your favorite cafe you haven’t been to since the breakup. He was trying to get you to reminisce on what once was and you weren’t going to allow yourself to fall for it. After pulling up to the shop and parking your car, you made your way in to the coffee shop and it didn’t take long for you to see him sitting in the corner. You walked over towards him and your heart warmed when a smile rose on his face as soon you made eye contact with each other. 

“Hey! I’m not taking you out of work or anything am I?” You shook your head in disagreement and took a seat. You’d be lying to yourself if you said he didn’t look good. He was growing out his hair and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him doing it for you. Mark would always complain about how his hair would get in his eyes once it grew a certain length but you made sure he was aware of how much his long hair would turn you on. At one point, his hair went past his neck and that’s when you decided it was time he got a haircut. The memory made you smile to yourself. 

“I ordered your usual if that’s okay. If you’re not in to ice caramel macchiatos with coconut milk anymore I can go change it—“ he stood up but you motioned for him to sit back down. It was so cute how flustered he was acting towards you. Were you really in a relationship with this man for over seven years? He was acting as if it was your first date all over again. 

“That’s fine Mark. It sounds really good actually. I haven’t been here for quite a while. I’m glad to see it hasn’t changed a bit.” The two of you sat in silence for a few moments and you tried to look around the room in attempts to feel less awkward until he spoke up. 

“I’m sorry.” 

You looked up at him in curiosity and decided to stay silent as he continued. “I’m very grateful you agreed to meet up with me. I don’t deserve to be here with you right now and I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but you didn’t let me explain myself at the bus stop—“ 

Why did he feel like this was a good environment to talk about your failed relationship? You were sure he knew you were probably going to cry, so why did he want to talk about such a sensitive topic in the public? “Mark—“ timing always seemed to be on your side. The waitress came over and gave you both your drinks all the while handing you a cranberry scone. You could feel your throat getting dry as your tears began to form. This was all too much for you to handle but you didn’t want to cause a scene, so you quietly thanked the waitress and kept your eyes on the table. 

“Erica and I, I’m sure you’re aware of it. You’ve always been so good at observing people. We’re not an actual couple. My father set me up for an arranged marriage with her in order to strengthen our companies together. I haven’t been in a relationship since our break up and because of this, my father took matters in to his own hands and being the weakling I am, I agreed to go along with it. But I hate it y/n. The meeting we had the other day was the first time I’ve seen her in months and she’s taking this whole arrangement better than I am but I’m sure she’s just as upset if not more with her father. I haven’t been treating her too kindly and it’s not her fault that this is happening, but you and I both know I don’t want to spend my life with anyone other than you. It’s always been you y/n. I meant what I said when I told you we were soulmates.”

You took a sip of your drink, but you didn’t have much of an appetite the more he continued to talk. As much as you didn’t think you could continue listening to him confess his feelings for you, you wanted to hear what he had to say. Which is why you found yourself still sitting in front of him instead of running out like you probably would have if he did something like this right after your break up. 

“I should’ve stood up to my parents, and told them how proud I was of you. How proud I am of you. Look at you. You’re one of the most youngest and extremely successful chefs in the country. You have your own restaurant and achieved everything you said you were going to do. You’re such a wonderful human being y/n and I hate myself for humiliating you and making you feel worthless. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m still so fucking in love with you and it fucking sucks because it’s my fault we’re like this. I don’t know how you feel about me, you could hate my guts for all I know but I deserve it. It’s obvious there’s no way we can be together again and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to get back with me even if there was a chance for us. But I have to go through with this wedding and I think this is my karma. I have to spend the rest of my life being miserable because of the choice I made that night. You have to admit though, meeting up again after all of these years is fate.” He scratched the back of his neck, something he always did when he felt as if he was upsetting you. 

“I’m not going to lie, I found myself searching you up on several occasions to see how you were doing, to see if you accomplished what you put yourself out to do. There were so many times I found myself standing outside of your restaurant, but I didn’t think I deserved to come in. When Erica told me where she was planning on getting the food from, I felt a tad bit excited at the thought of seeing you again. I’ve missed you so much y/n. I can’t even describe how painful it was to lose you. The day I let you walk away was the worst day of my life. If I could go back to that night and did what I should’ve done, I would.” 

You scoffed in disbelief. “But you can’t Mark. The damage is done, so take it for what it is. You didn’t love or care for me enough to think that something like this would happen. You should have known that you would have to choose between me and your family and you chose them. You knew how becoming a chef was my one and only dream; that’s why you supported it. When your mom laughed in my face and tried to make me feel pathetic for wanting to be a chef, it felt like a slap in the face and I didn’t care how much I loved you. I wouldn’t have given up my career to impress your family or to find another job that would make me miserable just to be good enough for you.” You clenched your jaw and could feel your anger building up. You were afraid of saying something you would soon regret if you were to stay a little while longer.

“I tried telling myself that it was hard for you, to choose between your mom and I, but if I were in your shoes, I would’ve chose you. I would’ve done anything for you Mark. I didn’t care about anyone or anything other than my passion for cooking and you. You were all that I thought I could ever need. So that’s why I was devastated when you didn’t seem to have the same mindset that I had. I don’t know what you wanted to come out of our meeting today and I’m sorry if you thought that by apologizing, I would magically end up back in your arms again. It doesn’t work that way Mark. I think it’s best for us to pretend as if we don’t know each other. You’re just another client to me. What we had was indescribably beautiful, but it is no longer. Nor will it ever be again. I’m sorry you’re being forced in to marriage, but you do have a say in it. You just can’t go against your parents wishes. You’re a grown man Mark. Not everything your parents want for you is what’s best for you. It’s okay to choose yourself sometimes. Thank you for the coffee and the scone. Have a nice rest of your day.” 

You ran out of the cafe and quickly got in to your car before you could react to the whole interaction and soon your sobs echoed throughout your car. 

I’m still so fucking in love with you. 

Out of everything he said, those words stuck with you. They were haunting you and you knew you still loved him too. There was no doubt about it. But there was nothing either of you could do about it. He was getting married and with the way he was allowing himself to go through with it, you knew he’d continue doing whatever he could to please his parents. You refused to be with someone who wouldn’t stand their ground when the situation called for it. Instead of returning back to the restaurant, you made your way home. There was no way you could work without breaking down and crying. 

You texted Jaebum and let him know of your plans in which he was quick to offer to head to your place once he was finished. But you didn’t want to burden him with your problems and you wanted to be alone. Mark reached out to you, apologizing for pulling such a stunt and accepting the fact that the two of you weren’t going to be what you used to be. As the months went by, the wedding date only got closer and closer and to your surprise, you and Mark became friends. 

After that day in the coffee shop, he gave you your space and didn’t hear from him unless he had to call you about the wedding. However, there was one night he called you in the wee hours of the morning and you couldn’t help but answer the call. He never used to wake you up with a phone call unless it was urgent and when you heard him crying over the phone, you knew it was serious. Mark was infamous for having panic attacks and he made it known to you that you were the only one who could get him to calm down. 

He knew he was taking advantage of having your number, and he was selfish for wanting to call you. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop crying unless he heard your voice and that’s exactly why he dialed your number. You did your best to console him softly and soothingly and after a few moments, his sobs finally stopped. Hearing him so weak and fragile broke your heart and you decided to forget about everything negative for a little while in order to focus on him. 

You loved this man for a huge chunk of your life; you weren’t going to allow him to suffer on his own if there was something you could do about it. After that night, you let him know that he could find solace in you whenever he needed to. It didn’t take long for the two of you to start talking to each other on a daily basis and you finally accepted the fact that you were falling back in love with him. However, as soon as you felt yourself gaining back your feelings for him, you had to remind yourself that he was going to be a married man in less than a month. 

Although he wasn’t romantically involved with Erica, he was hers legally. You and Mark were stuck in your own little world that you failed to notice your surroundings and what was going on around you. The closer you got with Mark, the more distant you became with Jaebum and you knew it had to deal with the fact that he had feelings for you. 

You liked Jaebum, there was no questioning your feelings for him. But the love you had for Mark was strong, too fierce for you to look at anyone else in the way you looked at him. If you and Jaebum were meant to be more than friends, something would’ve happened between the two of you a long time ago.

Jaebum didn’t know that Mark was the one you were constantly sneaking around to meet with, but he knew there was someone who was currently taking up all the space in your mind and possibly your heart. You didn’t realize how serious things were getting between the two of you until Erica asked to schedule a meeting with you. She never really worried about anything considering your catering share of the wedding and if she did, she would normally call you. So you were curious as to why she was wanting to meet in person. When she entered your office, she had a blank expression on her face and you were quick to notice the way her brows were furrowing as if something was on her mind. You were surprised when the question fell from her lips. 

“Please be honest with me. From one woman to another, you and Mark. You weren’t just classmates, were you?” 

You began to chew on your bottom lip and took a deep breath in before responding. “Did he tell you something?” 

She shook her head. “No. That’s why I’m here, asking you. His dad told my dad that he thinks Mark is secretly seeing someone. Apparently Mark’s been in a very good mood lately and I couldn’t help but notice it happened right after our meeting. Please let me know if there’s anything going on between the two of you so that I can cancel this whole thing. I don’t know what your relationship is like, but I don’t want to go along with marrying him if someone else is in the picture.” 

You began nervously picking at your nails and couldn’t look at her in the eyes. Although you knew that her and Mark weren’t actually together, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. But you didn’t understand why. It’s not like you and Mark were seeing each other. The two of you were just friends. However, she did have a right to worry about Mark interacting with another woman, even if you weren’t together romantically. If word got out that he was having an affair, both his and her father’s companies would receive a lot of backlash. So you could see why she wanted to know. 

“Mark and I were in a relationship almost four years ago. But I promise you, there’s nothing going on between us. What he and I had was in the past. We’re friends, but that’s all we’re going to be. However, if you don’t want to go through with the wedding, do it for yourself. Mark told me about the arrangement. You shouldn’t have to get married to someone you don’t want to marry for the sake of your father’s company. You’re still so young, I’m sure there are many men out there—“ 

She frowned. “You don’t understand how this works do you? Our engagement is already out in the public. Hundreds of businessmen invested in to both our companies because of it. We can’t stop the wedding for no reason y/n. Mark and I may not be a couple and we both probably will never have whatever it is the two of you once had. But he and I both were groomed to take over our companies one day and we are both responsible for making decisions that will benefit our businesses. Whether we like it or not. I’m asking you now, for the sake of your business and ours. I didn’t want it to come to this, but I won’t hesitate to take your restaurant down if you do get in the way of our wedding. If you know what’s best for you, leave my fiancée alone. I’ve also decided that we will no longer be needing your services. Thank you for your time.” 

With that, she took her bag and stormed out of the room, leaving you speechless. You sank lower in to your seat and your heart felt as if it was going to jump out of your chest. Erica was a very polite woman, but hearing her threaten your restaurant made your blood boil. You had no intentions of getting in the way of her and Mark’s wedding and if anything, it was him who was instigating everything between the two of you. 

As much as you cared for Mark, if you continued being friends with him, both you and him would suffer the consequences. It wasn’t Erica that you were afraid of. She was all words, you knew she was just trying to scare you. You were however, afraid of what both her father and Mark’s father were capable of doing if they did find out about your friendship with your ex. You teared up at the thought of losing him again; you were getting used to his presence and having him around, now you were going to lose him permanently. However, that’s what was best for the two of you. You typed out multiple texts, letting him know that you could no longer be friends with him, but you found yourself deleting the messages all-together. 

You couldn’t do it, you couldn’t lose him. Then the thought of your restaurant, your employees and all that you’ve been through to get to where you were ran through your mind and that’s why you told Mark that you could not continue your friendship and that you were no longer going to be catering to his wedding. As soon as you sent the text, you sank to your knees and cried for what felt like hours. It seemed as if every time you cried at work, Mark was the reason. 

You heard a soft knock at the door and you were too distraught to ask whoever was knocking to leave you alone. When Jaebum made his way in to the room, it all felt like deja vu. Just a few months ago, he was consoling you over Mark coming back in to your life. Now here he was, rocking you back and forth at the thought of losing Mark. He didn’t say anything and continued to run his fingers through your hair as your tears kept flowing down your cheeks. When Jaebum realized that you were no longer heaving, he motioned for you to look up at him.

“It’s because of that guy Mark again isn’t it?” You shyly nodded in agreement and Jaebum sighed. “Does it have to deal with his engagement, or is it personal?” You began to contemplate telling him exactly what just went down between you and Erica just a few minutes ago. As your main sous chef and best friend, he had the right to know. 

“Erica no longer wants us to cater to their wedding and it’s because she thinks Mark and I are having an affair.” You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. You could feel Jaebum frown against your neck but you didn’t want to act upon it. 

“I know you y/n, you’re not the type of person to do something like that. Or at least that’s what I’d like to think. But is her assumptions true? Are you and Mark back together again?” You were quick to disagree. You didn’t think your friendship with Mark was going to get in the way of their marriage, but if Erica was willing to cut you off from catering to the wedding, then it was probably serious. After taking a few minutes to get yourself together, you explained everything to Jaebum. From the time you and Mark started dating, to the night of his parents anniversary. Then you updated him on how the two of you became friends again and he just sat there as you talked like the amazing listener he was. When he felt like you were done going in to detail about the mess you were in, he spoke up. 

“You don’t still have any feelings for him, do you?” He took your silence as your answer and released a frustrated sigh. He wasn’t upset with the fact that you gained feelings for your ex boyfriend. It was inevitable. No matter what happened between the two of you and no matter how long you’ve been apart from each other, you could never forget your first love. Just like you, Jaebum was afraid of taking things further with you just in case it didn’t work out between the two of you. 

He wanted you in his life whatever way he’d be able to have you, even if it meant just being your best friend. For the three years he’s known you for, there was always a part of you that you hid from the world, including himself. He knew something must’ve happened to you prior to becoming friends with you, but he never wanted to ask about it. Seeing the way you reacted right after your first meeting with Mark answered pretty much all of his questions and he knew that there was a chance you were still in love with Mark. Jaebum was there for you through it all. 

He’s seen you at your lowest points, and he’s been with you through your highest. He was completely aware that you were such a tough person with a good head on your shoulders. However, after seeing you so fragile, so broken over what had just happened made him worry that not even he could fix you.

“Y/n.” You looked up at him with the saddest look on your face and Jaebum swore his heart broke in that very moment. “If it’s meant to be, it will be. Okay? Love will always find a way. You said so yourself, they’re in an arranged marriage and he’s told you multiple times that he’s still in love with you. If he loves you like he claims he does, then he’ll do whatever he has to do to make things right. Even if it means finally standing up to his parents and backing out of the wedding. If he can’t do that, then it’s obvious he doesn’t deserve you. And I’m telling you right now, if he ends up breaking your heart again y/n, I won’t hesitate to kick his ass.” 

You giggled softly in to his chest before placing a chaste kiss there. You honestly don’t know what you’d do without Jaebum. Your life was so much easier with him in it. Once he felt like you were completely calmed down, he stood up and brought you up with him. He snickered at your tear stained face and placed some of your hair behind your ear. 

“Come on, put on your big girl shoes and let’s get cooking. The guys and I feel as if we hardly see you nowadays and I know Mr.CEO has a lot to do with it. I hope he knows that the six of us will always be your favorite men. I’m obviously the number one man in your life.” You playfully pinched his cheek and put your hair up while Jaebum helped you with your apron. 

You tried your best to focus on cooking and the jokes the guys kept making throughout the day, but you couldn’t help the fact that your mind kept wandering to Mark. Did he get your message? Did Erica talk to him? How did he feel when you told him you could no longer be apart of his life anymore? The day felt as if it was dragging on and you couldn’t wait for it to be over with. Luckily, many customers seemed to come in, giving you a chance to focus on something other than Erica and Mark. Once it was time to close, you made a beeline for your phone and frowned when you saw all the missed calls and text messages from Mark. 

You weren’t ready to hear what he had to say, so you shoved your phone in your bag and packed up your things in order to go home. As you were walking towards the kitchen, you felt a gentle tug on your wrist. 

“I know you’re probably going to overthink if you go home tonight and as much as you want to be by yourself, maybe it’s best if you slept over my place. Just for tonight. We could watch a movie and I’ll make you some ramen. I’ll even give you my favorite hoodie that you love so much. Please? I hate the thought of you suffering alone. We can even steal some ice cream from the freezer.” 

You smirked in response, causing his grin to widen. “Fine. You had me at your hoodie. And ramen. Thank you Jaebum. You’re truly amazing you know that?” He playfully wiggled his brows at you. 

“Oh I know. I’m a catch. I hope you know I wouldn’t do this kind of thing for anyone else. Jackson still complains that he has yet to see my apartment. You’re special y/n and you mean a lot to me.” You were sure he could see the blush that rose upon your cheeks, but he didn’t say anything as he took your bags and led you to his car. 

The drive to his place was quiet, other than the soft jazz playing on the radio; but you liked it. It was a peaceful and calming kind of silence. Most of your rides with Jaebum would consist of loud music as the two of you would sing along to at the top of your lungs, but Jaebum knew that’s not what you needed right now. Once he pulled in to his complex, he walked over to your side and helped you out. Sometimes, you found yourself wondering how your life would be like if you and Jaebum were to end up together. 

He was quite the gentleman, he knew exactly what to do to make you laugh and smile like an idiot, he took such good care of you and wanted nothing but the best for you. However, your heart always belong to Mark and over the years, you continued holding on to a tiny string of hope that he would come to his senses one day and finally choose you. 

After entering his apartment, he quickly made his way to his room to get you something to wear as you took your place on his couch. You decided against looking at your phone for the rest of the night just because you didn’t want to ruin your time with Jaebum. The thought of losing Mark permanently sent an upsetting feeling to your stomach and you were sure he was doing his best to get in touch with you in order to prevent you from doing so. But there wasn’t anything you could do. The ball was in his court now. If he wanted it to be different this time, it was all up to him. 

“Here. I got you some sweats too if that’s okay.” You smiled politely at him and followed him to the kitchen where he began cooking dinner for the both of you. The night was spent eating everything his fridge had to offer while watching the first three Star Wars movies. He pulled you close to him and had his arm wrapped around your shoulder throughout the entirety of the night. You’ve always felt so safe in Jaebum’s arms and you were afraid of how lost you’d feel if you no longer had him around. 

Everyone and their mothers knew that Jaebum harbored feelings for you, it was painfully obvious and the guys made it known almost every day. You were afraid that knowing you were trying to mend your relationship with Mark would only ruin your friendship with Jaebum. If you had to choose between the two of them, you know you’d choose Jaebum. 

Mark chose his family that night, but Jaebum always chose you no matter the circumstance. When you called him and asked him to come work for you, he already had many offers on the table from well known restaurants that he’s never told you about, but he agreed to you in a heartbeat. When his ex girlfriend at the time didn’t approve of his friendship with you and had him choose between you and her, he broke up with her the following morning. 

In the first month after your restaurant opening, you hardly had any customers and you were so embarrassed. You didn’t know what to do. It came to a point where you wanted to give it all up, but the man whose arms were currently wrapped around you never let you do so. Jaebum had always known you were destined for greatness. You were the most hard working and passionate person he knew; so he did his best to put your restaurant on the map by handing out fliers, putting ads online and even handing out free samples to people. It didn’t take long for customers to start coming in and no matter how many times you’ve thanked him for making your restaurant what it was, he made sure you knew it was all because of your talent and determination. 

Your heart cried for the older boy. You wished you could return the same feelings for him. However, even if Mark didn’t come back in to your life, you were sure a relationship between you and Jaebum wouldn’t blossom. The two of you have known each other for too long to put your friendship at risk if something negative were to happen. 

You didn’t even realize you fell asleep on his shoulder during revenge of the sith nor did you feel the soft kiss that was placed against your lips as he placed you gently on to his bed. When you woke up the next morning, it took you a few seconds to recognize where you were; but you’ve slept over Jaebum’s apartment countless times to know you were in his room. The navy blue bed sheets and cream walls suited him. So did the Bart Simpson poster on the wall. You made your way out in to the living room and frowned when you noticed he wasn’t there. It was then that you realized what time it was and began to freak out. Did you really sleep until 11:30? It was practically already lunch time and you were about to lose your mind until you noticed the post-it note waiting for you on the counter. 

“Hey, I’m not too sure when you’ll read this and knowing you, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m home by the time you actually get up. I went to work. I didn’t want to wake you, you deserve a break after everything you’ve went through yesterday. I’ve prepared you some breakfast, it’s sitting in the microwave. You kept stealing all the blanket last night by the way, so you owe me one. Rest up and I’ll see you later. Have a nice rest of your morning..or afternoon.-JB” 

you smiled at his words before eating your breakfast and deciding to head back to your place. You didn’t want to take advantage of Jaebum’s generosity and you really wanted to take a shower. Since he was the one to drive you over to his place, you called for an Uber and patiently waited for it to arrive. 

In that moment, you took out your phone and finally began to read Mark’s texts and listened to the voicemails he left. As soon as you heard his muffled cries, you began tearing up yourself. He sounded extremely devastated. He had just gotten you back in to his life and he knew he was slowly gaining back your trust. There was no way he was going to lose you that easily. Mark knew what had to be done in order to win back your love completely and even if it took him years of being away from you and crying over you to come to this point, he was prepared to give up everything for you. 

His texts were filled with apologies but it seemed as if he didn’t know what to do either. There was no way he would stop being friends with you, but he too was afraid of what his father was capable of. Throughout the entire ride, you felt numb. You couldn’t think. Sure, you could beg and plead for Mark to leave you alone even if you both knew that’s not what you wanted. But you knew Mark, he wasn’t going to give up that easily. You just weren’t sure of what he had planned or how far he was willing to go for you. 

After the driver dropped you off to your building, it took all your energy to drag your body to the elevator. Your fingers hovered over his contact multiple times. It was selfish of you and you knew that you’d only make things worse by trying to reach out to him after telling him to leave you alone. However, the slumped figure that was sitting on your welcome mat made your head spin. Not knowing how long he’s been waiting there for, you found yourself running towards him and he was quick to lift his head up at the sound of your shoes against the concrete. 

Once his eyes landed on yours, he got up from his spot on the ground and didn’t hesitate to pull you in his arms. You felt so relieved yet extremely nervous to see him. What was he doing there? Was he not afraid of the consequences if Erica were to find out he continued to stay in contact with you? You felt tears against your neck as his grip on your waist only tightened. 

“Mark, what are you doing here? How long have you been waiting for?” You opened the door to your apartment and pulled him in, not noticing that he had yet to respond. Before you could ask any more questions walk any further, he turned you to face him and hesitantly brought his hand up to your cheek. “Mark—“ when you felt his lips against yours, it’s as time stopped and the room began to spin in slow motion. 

You knew it was wrong, but you’ve missed the sensation of his lips on yours. It felt so foreign, yet all too familiar and you didn’t realize how much you craved the taste of his lips until you deepened the kiss. Things began getting hot and heavy between the two of you, after not having each other like this in so long your bodies were reacting desperately and hearing his sweet moans sent warmth to your core. Unfortunately, red flags began to go off in your mind, causing you to pull away. He knew you were confused by the dazed look on your face so before you could say anything, he spoke up. 

“I quit today.” You looked up at him in shock. What exactly did he mean? He giggled at your blank expression before stealing one more kiss. 

“I’m assuming Erica confronted you and threatened you. She told me she went to see you and I knew something was up when she said she was no longer in need of your services. She began to belittle you and said rude things about you and I couldn’t take it so I stormed out of the conference room at her dad’s company and made my way to my family’s company. That’s also around the same time I got your messages and I was pissed. I know I don’t deserve it; I don’t deserve you, but I just got you back in my life. This is the happiest I’ve been in a really long time. There’s no way I was going to lose you again. Not if there was anything I could do about it. I made my way up to my dad’s office and let my heart do the talking. I told him I was resigning and refused to go on with the wedding.” 

He smiled gently at you and playfully booped your nose. “I chose you, something I should’ve done three years ago. My dad was furious and even started cussing at me. I’m pretty sure I’m disowned by my family now, but I don’t care. You’re all the family that I could ever need. I know, you probably think I’m insane for doing something so abrupt and not putting more thought in to it and I did it without even knowing how you feel. I don’t know whether or not you’d want to be with me. I can only hope and pray that you’ll take me back. Even if you decide that it’s too late for us, I don’t regret my decision one bit. In choosing you, I also chose myself. I don’t know why I allowed the wedding plans to get this far. I just felt like I deserved it I guess.”

He gently placed his forehead against yours and grazed your wrist with his thumb. “The thought of you made me realize that I’m so much more than what my parents want me to be. As much as I hated not having you in my life, maybe we needed this. I mean, I needed it. I learned my lesson. I’m a grown ass man, I have the right to make my own decisions. Even if it means going against my parent’s wishes. There’s so many opportunities I missed out on because it wasn’t something they would’ve been proud of. But I don’t give a shit about what they want anymore. It took me years to come to the realization that they couldn’t give two shits about my happiness yet I was so willing to do anything and everything they asked of me. I wanted to be the perfect son and I lost both you and myself in the process. Fucked up isn’t it?” 

You could feel him tense up at the thought of all he’s been through and you found yourself gently caressing his arms in attempts to calm him down. “You don’t have to say anything, I know it’s a lot to take in. It was a lot for me. I came here as soon as I left the company. I needed to see you and tell you everything. I’m screwed, honestly. I don’t have a college degree nor do I have much experience, but that’s not my main focus right now. I’ll worry about all of that later. You. You’re all that matters right now. I’m all yours if you’ll have me y/n. I can’t give you much. I can no longer provide for you in the ways that I used to be able to. But I can give you my mind, body, heart and soul. I’ll support you, care for you, love you. Do whatever you need me to do. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. I built thick skin during the time we were apart. I truly believe that God, for whatever reason that I will be forever grateful for, brought us together again and I couldn’t let you get away this time. I love you y/n and I’m sorry. I know that my apologies probably don’t mean anything to you, but I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m deserving of you and your love. That you’re all I could ever dream of. I’m going to do whatever I can to gain your trust again. We’ll take things at your pace y/n, that is if you decide you’re willing to come back to me.” 

For months after your breakup, you found yourself crying and getting drunk almost every single day in order to prevent your mind from wandering to him. It took you almost an entire year to come to terms with your breakup. You tried your best to lie to yourself, telling yourself that you hated him. That he was never man enough for you. That you deserved better. You made a promise to yourself that if Mark were to ever come back and beg you to return to him, you wouldn’t give in. 

However, the handsome man standing in front of you was different than the boy who failed to put you before his family. He was more mature, he finally realized his worth and no longer cared about what anyone other than you had to think about him. It took a long time, but you were over the moon to hear his sudden confession. You were glad he was aware that you deserved better. But you didn’t want better. You wanted Mark. For as long as time would permit you to have him for. Seeing the way he was looking at you with so much love and admiration in his gaze is the reason you found yourself reconnecting your lips together. You could only hope that he could feel the love you had for him through the kiss and as he smiled against the corner of your lips, you knew your message was received. 

“I love you too Mark. So much. I wish I could say I stopped, only because I was so upset with you. But I never stopped and I know I never will. You own this pathetic heart of mine. I know I deserve better, but I also know that you’re not the same person you were three years ago. I’m so proud of you for building up the courage and putting your foot down. God, you have such a way with words. I really don’t know how to respond to all of that. I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry you had to sacrifice practically your entire life for me, but I’m extremely happy you did. Like you said, you didn’t do it just for me, you did it for yourself too. I know it will be hard for you to start from scratch, but you’ve never failed to make me proud in all that you’ve accomplished. I’m sure you’ve gained a lot of knowledge working at the company. You could go to college and get your degree in architecture and maybe even start your own company. I’ll be by your side the entire time and I’ll help you in any way possible.” 

You smiled up widely at him and giggled when you saw tears form at his eyes. “You were always so sensitive, come here my crybaby.” You brought him towards your living room and laid on your couch, brining him down with you. He placed his head against your chest and began leaving soft kisses along your jaw. 

“You’re perfect, you know that? Thank you for taking me back baby. You won’t regret it.” To your dismay, he got up off of you and as you were about to complain about the loss of warmth, he threw you over his shoulder and playfully slapped your cute little butt. 

“Mark! What are you doing?!” He laughed as he made his way to what he thought was your bedroom. 

“Three years. I went three years without you and your beautiful body. I haven’t had sex in three years y/n, I’m sure I could be considered a born again virgin. I’m sex deprived, hell, I don’t even know if this thing still works. Give it a try babe. Don’t look at me like that. We have a lot to make up for, so be prepared. Why don’t you take out all your built up anger you’ve built up over the years and dom me princess—OW. Yes, I love the aggressiveness—okay I don’t find that kinky at all—will you stop that?” He threw you down on your bed and jumped on top of you. Your hands made their way in to his hair and gently tugged on it, earning yourself an erotic moan. 

Mark began leaving kisses all around your face before making his way down towards where you needed him the most. As he began nipping and sucking on your chest, he suddenly pulled away, earning himself a glare. However, his next words made your cheeks warm. “Thank you for coming back to me baby. This is only the beginning of our forever. Aw babe, don’t start getting emotional on me now. I was just seconds away from eating your pretty pussy and fucking your brains out—okay. You’re definitely gonna get it.” 

Before he could go any further, you cupped his chin with your fingers and made eye contact with him. “I love you Mark Tuan.” He kissed you passionately, as if his life depended on it before grinding himself in to your thigh. “I love you more y/n. Don’t you ever forget it.”

[sukirichi]

read the new chapters and aAAACKKKKK BESTIE???

y/n - ‘I was born to make everyone’s life a living hell’ maam this LINE?! JAW DROPPED, TIME STOPPED being insecure all her life and wanting to live up to the expectations to her dad just to have that sliver of attention from him, that sentence gives us a glimpse on how little she felt despite being accomplished, rather successful actually because she always cleans her boss’ mess have a lot of baggage to unpack. and when the secret was confirmed, her anger rejects all of the entity that ties with her past because both her parents deprived her for the things she was supposed to have– becoming greedy to fulfill those. then eventually, somehow, going back to her roots aka being humble after having the talk with her dad. As most of her insecurity started because of him and how she had to be the bigger person for his other family, clearing out the misunderstanding between them brought a sense of peace  while she’s settling in the restless turn of events.

and with our main man gojo, this guy, it is not wise to- 😤😤 how can you say you’re engaged after doing the body tango huh? esp when you said you want y/n to be your wife? oh gee and the revelation of his past relationship with mia and how he sees her in y/n is so fucked up. can’t help but think that satoru wanting to marry and be this lovey-dovey with y/n is just him reliving the moments that mia never gave him in the past. and y/n accepting that their current relationship is based on how they’re filling up the cracks in their needs and settling for the sake of familiarity. imagine how deep in love our girl is to keep satoru in her life 💔 im still in it for the second lead agenda

needless to say, everyone here needs a therapy so they can get their shit straight together 🤧🤧 (ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ ~ ┻━┻

BUT i know you mentioned this many times but laywer! naoya all poised and in his best behavior while helping y/n in her new situation has my heart go💕💕 winning lots of cases and is known in his field, he proved that he is both beauty and brains. and the pen spin??? man be pulling those fast spins either to distract or impress the person he is talking to flashing those perfect white pearls wtf now i can’t get that out of my head naoya brain rot 🥵🥵 also celebrity chef! sukuna in charge of all those delicious, exquisite cuisines? imma make myself broke just to taste his masterpiece🥲 ooh but how about him being a michelin star chef and owning a michelin-starred resto?! no doubt, left and right you see this man appearing on some high food magazine on the cover 😊😊 oh oh i also saw that supermodel! choso?? also his face is plastered on magazines AND luxurious advertisements ex. shibuya crossing! where most people be drenched in his glorious presence yea weird shibuya arc ref pls kill me and everyone talks how handsome and intimidating he is while he just have a rbf and only the closest people in his life get to see him drop that front 😌😌

with that in mind, imagine supermodel! choso being a godfather to the baby of y/n?? he would go soft immediately at the sight of the child and would probably love giving lots of branded clothes it will be good enough for more than a year ☺️🥲😭

oh and there is this one scene in chp7 that reminded me of the recent korean movie i watched i dont wanna say it in case you wanna check it out its called sweet and sour and oh god idk why but watching it, mind keeps on prompting your fics 😬😬 maybe bcos i some of your fic always had med related topics and the main actress role there is a nurse. i remember that you’re on your clinic training so maybe thats why 😳oohh pls don’t forget to take breaks and be safe heart and oh ur a psych major too? oh wow hi ig in relation to one actress in the sweet and sour fic, she was also in a kdrama the heirs- which was popular at the time with it being packed with some solid household actors and actresses. sky castle tho, ig it relates to the theme of reckless more because its mostly how parents from the upper class will mindlessly destroy someone’s life to attain their materialistic desires  🤧🙂

this fic, easily in my top 3 ‘heart belongs to who it dictates’ so many twists, so much drama and ANGST! YES BESTIE GIMME THOSE ANGST 🥲😌

i hope you’re doing well nowadays :’)) we need to find gege the best chiropractor to take care of his back, so good that it’ll make naoya respawn to life 🙂 suki i don’t think i’ll get tired of saying how much i love your work that it feels illegal im reading it for free 💔. i don’t really have much to offer, but im wishing you good health and success in your life :’)) aah i’ve mentioned this already but take care always 💕💖😊🥰

- 🍳

read the new chapters and aAAACKKKKK BESTIE???

y/n - ‘I was born to make everyone’s life a living hell’ maam this LINE?! JAW DROPPED, TIME STOPPED being insecure all her life and wanting to live up to the expectations to her dad just to have that sliver of attention from him, that sentence gives us a glimpse on how little she felt despite being accomplished, rather successful actually because she always cleans her boss’ mess have a lot of baggage to unpack. and when the secret was confirmed, her anger rejects all of the entity that ties with her past because both her parents deprived her for the things she was supposed to have– becoming greedy to fulfill those. then eventually, somehow, going back to her roots aka being humble after having the talk with her dad. As most of her insecurity started because of him and how she had to be the bigger person for his other family, clearing out the misunderstanding between them brought a sense of peace  while she’s settling in the restless turn of events.

and with our main man gojo, this guy, it is not wise to- 😤😤 how can you say you’re engaged after doing the body tango huh? esp when you said you want y/n to be your wife? oh gee and the revelation of his past relationship with mia and how he sees her in y/n is so fucked up. can’t help but think that satoru wanting to marry and be this lovey-dovey with y/n is just him reliving the moments that mia never gave him in the past. and y/n accepting that their current relationship is based on how they’re filling up the cracks in their needs and settling for the sake of familiarity. imagine how deep in love our girl is to keep satoru in her life 💔 im still in it for the second lead agenda

needless to say, everyone here needs a therapy so they can get their shit straight together 🤧🤧 (ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ ~ ┻━┻

BUT i know you mentioned this many times but laywer! naoya all poised and in his best behavior while helping y/n in her new situation has my heart go💕💕 winning lots of cases and is known in his field, he proved that he is both beauty and brains. and the pen spin??? man be pulling those fast spins either to distract or impress the person he is talking to flashing those perfect white pearls wtf now i can’t get that out of my head naoya brain rot 🥵🥵 also celebrity chef! sukuna in charge of all those delicious, exquisite cuisines? imma make myself broke just to taste his masterpiece🥲 ooh but how about him being a michelin star chef and owning a michelin-starred resto?! no doubt, left and right you see this man appearing on some high food magazine on the cover 😊😊 oh oh i also saw that supermodel! choso?? also his face is plastered on magazines AND luxurious advertisements ex. shibuya crossing! where most people be drenched in his glorious presence yea weird shibuya arc ref pls kill me and everyone talks how handsome and intimidating he is while he just have a rbf and only the closest people in his life get to see him drop that front 😌😌

with that in mind, imagine supermodel! choso being a godfather to the baby of y/n?? he would go soft immediately at the sight of the child and would probably love giving lots of branded clothes it will be good enough for more than a year ☺️🥲😭

oh and there is this one scene in chp7 that reminded me of the recent korean movie i watched i dont wanna say it in case you wanna check it out its called sweet and sour and oh god idk why but watching it, mind keeps on prompting your fics 😬😬 maybe bcos i some of your fic always had med related topics and the main actress role there is a nurse. i remember that you’re on your clinic training so maybe thats why 😳oohh pls don’t forget to take breaks and be safe heart and oh ur a psych major too? oh wow hi ig in relation to one actress in the sweet and sour fic, she was also in a kdrama the heirs- which was popular at the time with it being packed with some solid household actors and actresses. sky castle tho, ig it relates to the theme of reckless more because its mostly how parents from the upper class will mindlessly destroy someone’s life to attain their materialistic desires  🤧🙂

this fic, easily in my top 3 ‘heart belongs to who it dictates’ so many twists, so much drama and ANGST! YES BESTIE GIMME THOSE ANGST 🥲😌

i hope you’re doing well nowadays :’)) we need to find gege the best chiropractor to take care of his back, so good that it’ll make naoya respawn to life 🙂 suki i don’t think i’ll get tired of saying how much i love your work that it feels illegal im reading it for free 💔. i don’t really have much to offer, but im wishing you good health and success in your life :’)) aah i’ve mentioned this already but take care always 💕💖😊🥰

- 🍳

y/n becomes a real baddie when she’s pissed off 😫

hmm y/n wasn’t really working hard for her dad’s attention, it was more like she felt so left out and unwanted (she feels unwanted wherever she goes) that she just decided to pack up and support them from afar bcos to her, she’s so alienated in her dad’s family that she felt like she had to work hard to earn a spot in their table. she knows she’s the outsider but she wants to feel like she can be part of them, that she is also a child deserving of love and care, but becos her stepmom focused more on her actual kids and her own dad was too busy with his new family now, it made y/n feel that she had to do something to be worthy of that.

that’s why most of the money she made working in tokyo was still wired to her family; she put her brothers in school and supported them, all because she hoped it would make them accept her more. now, things are different because she finally found her biological family, but even if valeria and co. still don’t want her, y/n is now more focusing on building something that’s truly hers that no one can take away. yes yes, she did become greedy, but more for power than of acceptance. she got to a point she doesn’t care as much vying for her parents’ approval and now thinks her luxury gives her comfort; only because at least she has that much. like she said in the latest chapter, happiness was not what she needed, it was stability and money - all things she lacked before.

and yea she did go back to her roots! all of her issues started with her dad anyway but that part is slowly patching up 🩹💔 oooh actually your theory is right bestie 🧐 gojo found y/n interesting bcos she reminded him of mia, so the more she pushed him away, the more he’s like wait, i’ve been here before, let’s not repeat past mistakes but i can do better now. on the part where gojo talked to mia while she was asleep, notice how he said he’s given a second chance to do better now, all because he couldn’t do them with mia but he could with y/n.

ohhh actually y/n was the one who established that ‘fulfilling mutual need and settling for familiarity instead of being lonely’ type of relationship. gojo avoided her for weeks and he’s pretty settled in keeping his distance, but she was the one who sought him out. deep down, y/n is afraid if she doesn’t at least use him as an anchor to her more humble roots, then she might spiral out of control and end up like valeria, thus using him as a ‘distraction’ but in reality, she needs his comfort to be grounded.

SECOND LEAD AGENDA OMG LETS GOOO 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ geto the fine fine option.

NO BESTIE MOMENT U MENTIONED LAWYER NAOYA I JUST KNEW I WAS GONNA SCREAM. okay but lawyer! naoya is so fine, i love his character so much bcos he’s a pure bean. originally, i was gonna make him an antagonist but i found he had more potential as a good, supportive character. HIS PEN SPIN HELPPP WHY COULDN’T HE JUST BEEN OUR BABY DADDY 😫 he pulls them fast spins bcos he’s nervous btw HAHAHAHA y/n can be quite intimidating and lawyer! naoya is sometimes too precious.

celebrity chef! sukuna is MEAN! he was pictured after gordon ramsay so lmao. omgggg sukuna being famous not only for his food but also his handsomeness 😳 he gets so cocky over how no one can get in his level while popping a battle of champagne, listening to ‘careless whisper’ while dancing to his reflection in the mirror 😤

also yoo supermodel! choso is THE hot shit 🥵 he’s so famous his schedule is packed for an entire year and a half and those are just for very selected brands and designers! ugh imagine going to work on the subway when you see supermodel! choso with rbf posing sexily and you swoon because he’s so sexy. plot twist that choso doesn’t know how to drive bcos as a kamo family member, they grew up with drivers taking them to and fro, so when his driver got sick and everyone else was busy, supermodel choso takes the subway himself and hides behind a face mask and cap while still wearing extravagant clothes that makes him stand out more. he does not have ‘subtle’ on his book at all.

and yeah people say he’s intimidating but its more his height and build + rbf! in reality, he’s just as soft and sweet as naoya, but both of them go into protective mode when someone they care about is being crapped on. and boy when they DO get into “what did you just say?” mode, better run away 🏃🏻‍♀️ supermodel! choso is also an heir to the kamo empire though not after the business, but he still has enough power to take you down in a second.

meanwhile, lawyer! naoya didn’t become this successful without being so savage yet composed he makes you question your entire existence before he drags you to court. lawyer! naoya is so scarily convincing that he can make you plead guilty even tho you did nothing wrong 💀

aaaah omg supermodel! choso LOVES babies actually! as the eldest child who looked after his brothers bcos the kamo parents are always away for work, being a father figure is so natural to him. i can picture him being the one who cries harder than gojo if the baby is born bcos he’s so excited, then reads poems to the baby before sighing that childbirth is such a beautiful thing 🥺

omg i know sweet n sour, the actresses are one of my faves tho i haven’t watched it yet! oooh they’re a nurse? i didn’t know that 🧐 i actually finish my short training in a week so i’ll be heading on to heavy majoring in psychology! wait bestie are YOU also a psych major 😳💕 oh and i see i see, sky castle *jots that down for future references* reckless actually has lots of significance in terms of the parents’ roles so i’m excited to see that! and aww thank you so much, can’t believe i made it in someone’s top three 🥺💕

HELP AHSKWKW i’m gonna call the best chiropractor in the world and send them gege’s way, i’ll cry a river if that’s what it takes to bring my boo back to life 😭 and noo baby the support already means a lot to me, i’m just happy to indulge in my hobbies and share it wih you all so thank you very much for everything 🥺 please take care of yourself too n have a nice day!! kith MWAH 💕

[jawusa]

Goldie's Adventures on the Moon - Day 2

Chapter 2: First signs of happiness 

When I had returned to my suite last night, I thought it'd be the worst night ever and I wouldn't get any minute of sleep! Well... I guess I judged that hotel too fast? For some reason, I woke up rather peacefully. At first, I was mad at Dad and Rhett for deserting me, but actually, I was the one who kept complaining and begging for 'some time off' - and yesterday, I just had 'some time off', so why wasn't I happy? Anyway... I also received a text message from Dad, which was like: "Hey honey, I and Rhett will be at the Lunar Market around 1 pm. So, why don't you also come and join us? I'm sure you'd find something you like!" Normally, they'd always bore me and I would never want to spend some time with them, but STRANGELY, I was actually pleased to read this and I felt like a little girl who had lost her father for many years and was happy about the news of him returning? When I arrived at the Lunar Market, I couldn't find Dad or Rhett - neither of them!

I went in every store they had there; not really wanting to buy stuff at all! I never felt so lonely; it was like I was lost in outer space and nobody could rescue me ... although they had left me just yesterday? It felt like eternity! But when I entered in the souvenir shop, my heart suddenly started to pound - it was that cute boy! He did notice me when I entered the shop and then... he winked at me...

"Hey, I recognize you... weren't you at the aquarium just yesterday?" I didn't answer, nor did I nod... or did any other gestures! "You... OK? You look like you... What happened... if I may ask?" I suddenly burst into tears... in front of him... and for some strange reason, I didn't know why? (I do have pics of me crying in that moment... and also him consoling me, but this diary should be all about fun anecdotes to remember - and to be honest, that wasn't it!)

But apparently, they were all there, but I kept missing them when I was entering the shops whilst looking for them... that made me feel SO dump! What was I doing there AT ALL? How couldn't I notice? Was I so blind... or so stupid? Or probably both?

"Oh, I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, I didn't mean to.. it's just that..” "No, it's not you! I'm fine... actually, I enjoyed the conversations I had with you?" *blushes "Aww, how cute! Me too, although you never really spoke to me.... hey, maybe some fresh air at the garden makes you feel better... let's go there together, sweetie!"

That garden really made me feel better... or was it because I was talking to him? I don't know... but I really enjoyed the scenery over there! It was... beautiful! "Hey, let me show me how we greet here! ... just do it like me!" 

"Uhmmm... OK? I guess I tried to bow like you... ? Kinda..."

"I think you're good for now, it's cute of you to try! You're doing it great, really! "Thanks... I guess?" "I like you, you seem to be such a cool sim! What's your name? Btw, my name is Qiu Wan... yeah, I know, kinda hard to pronounce, but hey, you can call me whatever you like! My friends call me just Q." "Nice to meet you, Q! I've never heard such a name before, that's unique..." "You find me unique? ;)" *doing a flirty face "You're cute... I guess... anyway, I'm Goldie Hart! I'm just... a regular nobody!"

... I was so dazed and suddenly, I completely forgot about Dad and Rhett. I saw that my phone was ringing - it was Dad... and previously, there were five other missed phone calls from Dad.. and three from Rhett! For a minute or two, I felt happiness again! I knew it felt so good to be needed! Anyway, they asked me where I were and what I was up to - they said that they had already left the Lunar Market and had been waiting for me in the local bowling alley which also had a diner.

HOWEVER, when I arrived there... I wished I had never done that; they were just singing some weird karaoke songs and this time, I felt EMBARRASSMENT again for being with them! But luckily, Q wasn't around... which was GOOD!

We had lunch together again after such a long time! I think, that was the first time ever on the moon... when they ate, I wouldn't come.. or when I ate, they wouldn't come! But now, I started regretting it - they were talking about random stuff and I just didn't want to embarrass me any longer... so, I went outdoors!

"Hey, do you mind if I just join you? I love bowling!" "Yeah, sure! Bowling alone ain't fun.. so why not? Do you know any tricks? Show them off!"

I really loved bowling with her and got to talk to her a lot on that day; she was very talented and also very funny!

"Btw, we were talking about all kinds of stuff, but never really got to introduce ourselves, lmao! What's your name?" "We... kinda missed that indeed! It was nice to talk to you, though, I really enjoyed bowling with you! But yeah, I'm Goldie Hart! How about you?" "LOVE THAT! I'm Hua Ling - the girl with crazy anime hair and one earring. My mom owns that clothier/jewelry shop down the street, maybe you've seen me over there already." "Actually, I've never been there..." "Hey, let's meet there around 6 pm-ish? I'd like to show you some of the outfits which I've sewn myself! They'd look awesome on you, I swear!"

While I was chatting with this rather outgoing girl, Dad was kinda trying to copy some famous artists' dance moves - I can't tell whose... but the locals around there seemed to be amused, at least... they look amused in Rhett's snapshot?

He was in good mood, though! Dad would never go skating, but on that day, we REALLY went to a roller rink! It's funny since he'd never let me go roller skating back home, and here... he went roller skating himself! That was SOO fun! I screamed like a little girl! I was SO happy again after such a long time of grieving! 

I didn't want to upset Hua, though. So, I went to that little business which she runs with her mom... and to my surprise, Q as there as well? I... didn't see him when I first entered the little shop, and that made me feel so insecure again? I just... didn't understand whyy! Did I have bad kind of butterflies? Anyway... I randomly picked one of the qiapos they had (or kinomo? ... yeah, whether they called that stuff) and tried to disappear as fast as possible into one of the changing booths.

"Hahaha, why Goldie? You didn't even show me the clothing? What's wrong with you, lol? "*giggles Then... I also heard some other giggles beside hers! I... hoped Q didn't notice me and it's not his giggles? But I wasn't sure! I was afraid to even go out... but I had to. "Why were you hiding? Did you see someone? I was like: wait, whaat?!! What's going on? Did I miss something?" "I... just... no, not at all, lol!" "But hey, you look beautiful in that outfit!"

I looked around insecurely... but couldn't find Q anywhere, so he must have left, but still, it was bizarre him showing up... was he following me? Also, why did the cashier over there resemble Sadie Wilke from Widespot so much? I've seen her in another snapshot before... but this can't be her?! I mean, we'd have seen her when she travelled along... and it would absolutely make NO sense for her to travel to the moon every day, work here for some hours and then return to Widespot to run the General Store in my hometown! ... I just had to tell this Hua, she found it funny, though! Anyway, later on, I joined Dad and Rhett at the SkEye Observatory! I was very eager to try out these telescopes, since I had never used one before - I knew, that a fellow student back at home... well Woody had some of these in his home, but it'd be kinda weird to ask to use, so... I didn't bother to ask! Not to mention that his dad wouldn't have allowed me to use anyway.

I could tell, though, that Dad and Rhett weren't really into stargazing! I heard them yawning all the time... "Honey, do you mind if we leave you lonely for a minute or two? I think... i've seen a meteorite crashing downstairs!" "Fine Dad, I know you're bored and you just try to find an excuse to go to the bar downstairs!" "Yeah, that's exactly what I was about to say! But didn't want to... uhm... hurt your feelings..." "Just... leave me loney, I'll be alright!"

While I didn't know what they were up to downstairs, this snapshot didn't really surprise me! I just knew they'd be flirting... again! This time, I wasn't necessarily mad at them... not even at Dad for moving on too fast after Mom died? Anyway, my second day on the moon was a great success! It didn't start that well, but I made friends with some really good guys out there! Q's been so charming recently, but I never dared to... uhm ask whether he has a girlfriend... let alone boyfriend? I kinda felt ashamed to weep in front of him, what does he think of me now... after all of this? I was such a cry baby! But hold on, was it really him who was kinda... following me? Anyway, I've never been this shy before, I don't get this, I'm an OUTGOING girl! I've never struggled to talk to someone... so, what's wrong with Q? I think Hua's noticed that I had a crush on him? NOO, it's not a crush! It's just... well, I only find him cute, that's all!

[crimson-snowfall]

Ikemen Vampire: Language of Flowers - Vincent

Flower: White Rose Bud

Meaning/Symbolism: Heart innocent of love

Word Count: 1052

You’re probably expecting it to be sunflowers, but when I was planning this I thought that would be too cliche, so yea. 

The skies were devoid of any clouds and the sun is shining radiantly. This is the third date you’ve been with Vincent ever since the two of you officially became a couple and you made the decision to stay in 19th century France.

The two of you are now laying on a grassy hill littered with tiny white flowers, fingers entwined with one another’s as you held hands. Vincent was laying on his side, and the gentle breeze must have lulled him to sleep, but he had a small smile on his face.

If you didn’t knew any better, you would’ve mistaken him from an angel from the heavens above, visiting the Earth.

You rolled to your side so that you’re facing each other. As much as you want to give in to the desire to join Vincent in his little nap, his sleeping face is too precious to miss out on and you just want to savor every moment of it. You carefully reached with your free hand and his eyelids gently fluttered open the moment it made contact with his soft cheeks, revealing a pair of miniature skies of comparable beauty against the vast one you’re under.

Vincent pulled you closer to him, planting a soft kiss on your forehead as he mimicked your gesture and caressed your cheeks.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

His cheeks emitted a little heat from your question. “No, actually…” he briefly looked away, as though contemplating his next words, then spoke once again, the softness of his voice showing mild hints of embarrassment. “I was hoping you would fall asleep too if you saw me sleeping.”

You let out a little chuckle of amusement. “Why?”

Vincent was silently hoping you wouldn’t press the matter further, but now that you did, it was getting harder for him to hide his flustered state. “I wanted to watch your sleeping face. Is that such a bad thing? Does that make me… you know… a creep?”

You didn’t want to laugh because Vincent sounded genuinely conscious of his own behavior, but you found it quite difficult to hold your amusement in. So you rolled on top of him and buried your face into his shirt as you worked to stifle your laughter. Once you were sure you can properly speak without bursting into laughter, you looked up at the now fairly bewildered angel.

“If wanting to see your lover’s sleeping face makes you a creep, then I wonder what does that make me? Because I want to see a lot more of you, Vincent. There’s no way you are a creep. If I could keep my eyes on you all the time so I wouldn’t miss a single adorable thing you do, then I would.”

Your reply washed away all of his worries. “You’re more adorable though, mijn schatje.”

It was your turn to get flustered as Vincent uttered those words. You don’t know why, but it would always send your heart racing whenever your sweet angel calls you that. “It’s not fair though. I don’t get to watch your sleeping face as often. Usually, you’re already up by the time I wake up in the morning.”

Vincent didn’t say anything in response, but he had a contemplative look in his face. After a short while, he sat up and turned you around. He leaned on your shoulder and his warm breath tickled against your neck.

“Schatje… everything we just talked about, is that all part of what it means to love?” Vincent peppered your neck with light kisses, and you had to hold back the urge to moan over how ticklish it is.

“Yes. To love means a lot of things… and sometimes, you’ll find yourself wanting to do things you’ve never wanted to do for anyone else you’ve ever met.” In your case, you never would’ve even thought about abandoning your old life, if not for Vincent.

“I think I know what you mean. I’ve never wanted anything nor anyone this much in my life before.” Your lover pulled back and you almost whined at the loss of proximity, but then you felt his fingers begin their work on your hair.

“For instance… I want to be the only one who gets to do your hair. I want to to be the only one who gets to kiss you all over. I want to be the sole person in this world who gets to see the expressions and the sounds you only get to make when you’re in bed. I want… I want so much more. I want everything of you. I’ve began to desire a lot of things in such a short period of time, that sometimes I find myself afraid of whether these feelings are truly love or just plain selfishness. You’re a beautiful woman,  so it only makes sense for me to want to give you a beautiful heart, right? And I was afraid that all these desires might’ve turned my heart dark and unworthy of you.”

Vincent finished braiding your hair around the same time he finished confessing his feelings. He weaved a few of the small white flowers into the braid, and it looked really nice on you. You find yourself at loss for words over his revelations, so you just leaned back on him and allowed his warmth to envelop your being. After collecting your thoughts, you finally spoke.

“Vincent… there’s no way I’ll ever think your heart is dark and unworthy of me, and even if it does turn dark, it will still be worthy of me, and my feelings for you will continue to grow deeper and I will keep on loving you. Your heart is the most beautiful heart there is in this world… and if I must ask something of you, then I forbid you from ever thinking so badly of that wonderful heart of yours ever again.”

You were about to look up at him so you can see his expression, only to have your lips captured in a burning, passionate kiss. You could feel Vincent shaking from emotion, and after what seemed an eternity, he pulled back and you could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Thank you. Thank you for coming in my life and saving my heart, mijn schatje.”

Wow, and here I thought 898 words for Arthur were a lot. At first I was thinking of how I can somehow incorporate some smutty stuff in this since people seem to like it the most when there’s smut but then I thought, screw it, it defeats the purpose of the theme so I’ll just make it fluff instead, and I might’ve had a desire for Vinny to speak more of his feelings... so that’s how this came to be.

Oh btw “mijn schatje” means “my baby/my darling”, something like that.

More on this series:  [[Napoleon]] [[Mozart]] [[Leonardo]] [[Arthur]] [[Theodorus]] [[Isaac]] [[Dazai]] [[Jean]] [[William]] [[Comte de Saint Germain]] [[Sebastian]] [[Vlad]]

[electrozeistyking]

ZIMVOID KING ARC - Headcanons and Facts for the AU

So! I spent a few days working on headcanons and facts about my Invader Zim AU, the Zimvoid King ARC (or ZKA for short). All written along side of installment three, "Dark Claws of a King", and now here on the net to burn your eyeballs, here's the master post on the ZKA facts and ideas I've recently spawned for the AU. Enjoy!

if you manage to read this all, you’re a certified creature

   ~   ZIB RELATED    ~ Facts that mainly surround the cockroach (and i'm pretty sure the majority of this post mentions this guy).

-Zib has fobidden himself to go on any adventures involving Zim. He's decided that it's not his place to try to stop a version of the Irken that is not his own. Plus, he's a merger. (This is all just nonsense he tells himself. The real reason is that he doesn't want to get involved with that shit all over again. PTSD and stuff, yanno?)

-Zib has a real problem with keeping his hands from doing things. He's actually gotten a Rubrix Cube to keep his hands occupied, and he keeps the cube in one of his pockets at all times in case he needs it. It's probably due to a deep, insatiable urge he has to build, build, build; creating his mech, modifying Voot Cruisers and such... once he'd had nothing else to make, he'd been left with an itch in his hands.

-Zib can also be seen tinkering with some forgotten technology Professor Membrane has laying around. The professor has actually only caught Zib doing this once; the roach had almost finished with an invention Membrane was only preparing to start working on.

-Zib's senses are all heightened and improved. His eyesight has never been more perfect, his hearing (despite his obvious lack of ears) has never been clearer, and though he regrets having it, he does happen to have a perfect sense of smell. So he knows if something stinks, it fucking reeks. Ugh. Awful, dude.

-Sometimes Dib will be like "Oh, lookit us, we're a couple of Dibs, ain't that cool" and then Zib does something very Zim-like and he goes "Fuck, I totally forgot he does that".

   ~   PAK!ZIM RELATED   ~ Facts that mainly surround PAK!Zim.

-Zib and PAK!Zim occasionally do something I like to call "syncing", where the two act and think as one entity, one mind instead of two. When synced, these two can be caught using terms like "us" and "we". Neither of them knows how this works, but I like to think it's like fusing in Steven Universe, minus the dancing and stuff; any distruptions to their sync (like if one of them really doesn't like something), they become two minds opposed to one again.

I like to think this is syncing in a nutshell:

   ZIB: We'd love to!    DIB: We?    ZIB: aw shit    P!ZIM: nice going genius

Zib finds syncing to be very relaxing. PAK!Zim likes how powerful syncing feels, even if he won't provide a comment on it.

-These two may have overcome their differences (well, were forced to), but Zib and PAK!Zim are still a Zim and Dib duo. From time to time, their little playful fighting turns into a real spat, and in the Zimvoid, it always hurt Zib whenever PAK!Zim tried to pull the silent treatment on the bug boy.

-PAK!Zim still occasionally threatens Zib that he may dig one of his PAK legs into the roach child's shoulders again. He feels too weirdly guilty about doing it the first time (as mentioned in the first installment of ZKA, "King of a Barren World"), so he'll never actually do it... but Zib doesn't know that.

-PAK!Zim calls Zib "stinkbug", since I thought that was more fitting, as people do call him a roach (this is especially true for me). He's a little cockroach.

-PAK!Zim can only talk in Zib's head. Zib once wondered if PAK!Zim's voice is real, or if it's false. He quickly remembered that inner voices you typically have in your head cannot change volume. PAK!Zim can yell, and it gives Zib headaches and nosebleeds every time he does. PAK!Zim often tries not to yell when the duo are around other people; both are worried if people would think the PAK is ruining his head, and they don't want to know what could happen.

-PAK!Zim has terrible eyesight. And by that, I mean he can't see. The only time he can see anything is when he and Zib are synced. Neither of them really mind it, but they always try to avoid syncing when Zib's showering. Despite how comfortable they are with each other when synced, that is the only discomfort both of them have. They just... I dunno, I'm kinda getting uncomfortable about it myself.

-Zib finds himself to be weirdly possessive over PAK!Zim. Maybe it's because that he sees the sentient robotic backpack to be an anchor for him when shit's getting tough. Having had four years to get over their differences, Zib has actually befriended the PAK and doesn't know what he would have done without someone to talk to all that time.

-To branch off that last one, I have the firm belief that because of Zib's weird attachment to the PAK fused to the back of his head, Zib would probably cease to function if PAK!Zim is ever removed. Ever since PAK!Zim officially woke up, Zib has developed this seemingly comfortable, permanent sense of knowing that someone is there for him, will always be there and they're not going to leave him alone because guess what? PAK!Zim has no choice but to go wherever Zib goes. He occasionally forgets that, though.

The idea of having the PAK (his PAK) removed terrifies him; you'd be tearing that feeling of never truly being lonely away from him. Removing the PAK would remove his buddy, his pal, his Zim. He'd be lost, confused, alone, and he'd have no idea what to do. It's just him by himself all over again, no one else. Plus, who knows what else could happen to Zib? What if it turned out he relied on the PAK to survive, and removing it could potientially kill him? Neither PAK!Zim or Zib are willing to see what could happen.

TL;DR: Take away the PAK, and Zib gets crippling depression and he might die.

-Though he can't see, PAK!Zim can hear pretty damn well (even if he barely listens half the time).

-No one else knows that PAK!Zim is alive. Dib wants the PAK removed because he thinks that if they remove it, Zib's thoughts will stop being so... "corrupted". In his own mind's eye, Dib thinks that if they remove the PAK, it'll be helping Zib, but what he doesn't realize it would absolutely DESTROY Zib's mentality.

   ~   FAMILY RELATED   ~ Facts that involve the Membrane family as a whole.

-The fact that his other son has claws perplexes Professor Membrane to no end. He pretty much tried to see if he could study Zib's weird claws once he found out about them. So far, what he's found out from his studies is that Zib's claws are really fucking sharp and they really hurt (mentioned in installment three of ZKA, "Dark Claws of a King").

-More facts on the stinkbug because yes, Zib has another huge problem: it turns out rants from his "brother" Dib helps Zib conk right the fuck out. It unfortunately works every time.

-Zib, Dib and Gaz just... they kinda see themselves as siblings, even though Zib and Dib are just alternate versions of one another. After a while, they kinda got over it and now it's just:

"This is my brother! I have a brother! We're brothers! We're practically twins! See this? This guy right here? Him? That's <my> brother. I love my brother, and I'll kick your fucking ass into the goddamn dirt if you insult him in front of me." (this is all just from zib btw.)

   ~   GOOFY   ~ Facts that are INTENDED to be goofy.

-For whatever reason, I enjoy the idea of Zib having a weird addiction to eating sticks of butter. Yes, his new family decides to have an intervention about Zib's addiction, but it totally fuckin' flops, so they end up having to try to hide the butter and cut him off from it instead. (they gave up trying when it all disappeared from its hiding spot later that very same day.)

   ~   IDK FACTS   ~ Facts that I've no clue where they should go.

-On Keef in ZKA: the little red head has actually mellowed out now that he's a teen. He still adores his friends, but he's calmer, not as clingy, and is an excellent listener, so he'll let Zib ramble, but will occasionally interrupt to ask questions. He's like Zib's mini therapist.

-I like the idea of Keef being bisexual.

   ~   AUTHOR TRIVIA   ~ Trivia from the author that you totally won't need but may find interesting anyway! why was i speaking in third person—

-"King of a Barren World" was posted on the fifteenth of May, but Archive kinda fucked up and it says I published it on the sixteenth.

-You'll see me call Professor Membrane "the professor", but only because I totally forgot he's a scientist. Not sure how, because his schtick is REAL SCIENCE, but—

-This AU was made by accident. And by that, I thought up a scenario, wrote about it, thought up another scenario and wrote about that one too, and then found out people actually liked this nonsense I was writing, so it's an AU now and forever -or at least until I die-.

-The Zimvoid King ARC is not a real arc. I just thought the name sounded cool.

-Before anyone asks "what does ARC stand for", it doesn't stand for anything. I just capslocked the word arc because I just thought that looked cool.

-I accidentally made a Discord server for ZKA.

-Speakin' of accidents, I may have accidentally started shipping Keef and Zib. Oops?

-I really like calling Zib a stinkbug. As user MelodyoftheVoid once put it: Half man, half bug, all stink.

-I have strictly forbidden myself from making Zib's hair-scythes antennae. I love headcanons on them being antennae, sure... but I decided that I'd have no idea how to write them in ZKA, so I was like "Nah, dog".

-Of all my IZ AUs, ZKA is the one I haven't dropped yet. Maybe because it's only four days old at this point, but still. omigosh zka is a baby au :0

[feingeister]

As a german, what do you think are characteristics druck’s characters have but you wouldn’t notice as a non-native speaker? I read Matteo mumbles but i wouldn’t have noticed myself. Do they have accents? Does the way they speak tell you anything about their personality? Idk if this makes sense but i’m curious cause i get a much stronger feeling about people who speak my language.

oh this is super cool and there is no way i’m going to cover everything in this ask but i’ll try. also a lot of it might just be me rambling about language quirks that everyone can pick up on.

- first off: matteo. i’ve said this a lot but i absolutely love the way he talks and it adds a LOT to his character imo. he mumbles, which would usually be annoying and maybe it’s me and my rose-tinted glasses but it’s just super charming with him. it fits his vibe. he sounds cool, chill, awkward and quiet all at once.

- you know how in the early, awkward flirting stage matteo lights up like christmas tree when he talks to david? you can hear it too. i made a post here about matteos voice getting higher (that still makes me laugh every time), another clip where it’s pretty noticeable is the “kranker turn-up” one. when he invites david to his party, he sounds a lot perkier, his voice is slightly higher and he’s generally more enthusiastic. still mumbles tho.

- when matteo is nervous, he slurs his words even more, and he gets quieter, and sometimes his voice is a little higher. you can heart it when he compliments david on his drawings, when he greets the boys in his coming out scene, when he explains to sam how to measure a dick and in the “arschloch der stufe” clip where he apologizes to sara. that last one is especially bad, he sounds so apathetic and monotone and his words are a lot more slurred than usual.

- special shout-out to the “kann ich mir jetzt was wünschen?” (“can I wish for something now?”) line. i don’t know if you can hear it but the way he says it..... it’s all in the tone of his voice: the neediness, the vulnerability, the softness. he also kiiind of sounds like that in the coming out clip with jonas. it’s just…. in these scenes his voice carries the vulnerability of his character and it’s INCREDIBLE.

- now that we’ve discussed matteo being baby, here’s a thing people often forget: he’s also a bastard. and i don’t mean his general brattiness. he’s a softie but he has a bit of an edge to him that I think probably get’s lost in translation. some of his remarks, especially with the boys are downright mean, but not in a way that sounds intentional. it’s just that his tone sometimes misses the mark of friendly teasing and he ends up sounding like a bit of an ass lmao. it’s fine tho, we love him and forgive him.

- okay now david: lukas is someone who doesn’t slur his words at all and he speaks very clearly. this is especially obvious because most of his scenes are with michi who is the opposite. it might be the fact that he’s from hamburg (northern varieties of german are said to be closer to the ‘perfect’ hochdeutsch) or it’s just lukas being lukas

- you want to know what my first impression of david was when he and matteo first talked? this boy is afraid to speak up. if i look back at that clip now, i can barely believe it’s david. he is VERY quiet, his voice is very monotone and he just sounds… totally different, he even slurs his words in that clip. he warms up around matteo a little bit, but still in that entire clip his voice is a lot less melodic and he just sounds a lot less… alive than he usually does.

- the line that carries the most emotion in that scene is not “best music city ever” it is “what would you have wished for?”. when he said that he sounded a lot more like the david we know: kind, gentle and very clearly giving in to matteo.

- in the joints and sandwiches clip, david is a whole other person. i know you can see it but you hear it in his voice too. it’s seriously crazy, the way he talks is a lot more enthusiastic and not reserved at all

- the shy, monotone voice comes back a couple times in school, when he doesn’t seem to be entirely comfortable. i think it’s (again) most evident in the “kranker turn-up” clip when he gets his beanie back. he’s obviously trying to stay cool, calm and collected.

-  again, special shout-out to two lines: “aber manchmal ist das anders” (“but sometimes that’s different” in his coming out scene) and “und unten weiß ich nicht” (“but bottom i don’t know” in the morning after clip). i don’t know what it is about these lines, but he says them in exactly the same way and it’s a tone/voice we don’t hear any other time. he sounds kind of… choked up, a little like he’s about to cry (even though he isn’t). he just sounds especially vulnerable when he says it, but it’s not like matteo who’s vulnerability sounds hopeful, desperate and kind of begging for love, for david it’s quiet, still holding back and like he’s afraid to get hurt. yes, i am most definitely reading too much into this, you’re welcome.

- i don’t know if we have successfully conveyed that “na?” is the stupidest conversation starter that could possibly exist. you could just as well say “hello i want this conversation to go nowhere”

- speaking of, their first conversation cracks me tf up because the whole “krass” “geht” exchange is SO awkward. david is actively working against having a proper conversation. god bless.

- the award for “character that is most lost in translation” will go to carlos. you know he’s funny but you don’t know HOW funny he is. people say germans have no sense of humor and they’re right. but i’ve found that very often, we’re funny not when we make actual jokes but when the way we say things are funny. it’s hard to explain but a particular choice of words can make a statement hilarious and i think i only ever laugh at german comedy when it’s that kind of funny. instead of “hey it’ll be cool if you could fix things with kiki” carlos says “das wär echt ‘n feiner, korrekter zug, wenn du mal die wogen ausbügeln würdest”; instead of “i’m not that ugly” jonas says “als wär ich so’n krasses gesichtsgulasch” and instead of “it matter how you say it” Kiki says “der ton macht die musik, ne?” (i’m quoting this from memory btw). so yeah. carlos is very funny and the way he talks is just… very unique to him.

- anselm is one of the best actors in druck. his lines always sound 100% natural and he makes jonas just… sound really cool.

- everyone has an accent. your mama, your cousin, you, me, everyone. but i know the question is if any of the cast have noticeable regional accents and the answer is no. they all speak a variety of german that is called “hochdeutsch” aka standard german. i’ve heard some mixed opinion on whether or not you can hear where everyone is from but the consensus is probably that it’s hard to tell. in my opinion, anselm and michi have the most noticeable accents, but if i just met them randomly i would never be able to tell that they’re from berlin.

- fun fact: out of the girl squad, the person who uses the most slang and gets closest to boysquad levels of dumbassery is…. amira!! actually, don’t quote me on this but i definitely feel like she says “digga” the most and she’s just generally… more slang-y idk. it makes her vibe a little more chill and less “proper”.

- OVERALL: i don’t think there are any character traits that get completely lost in translation but i think there is some stuff that just… enhances the characters and gives them a tiny bit more nuance if you understand the language. oh and a lot of the humor gets lost.

also, these are not facts, it’s all just personal observations and opinions.

[of-fishnets-and-black-lace]

True Love is a Lie pt. II

Request: Can I please have a part two to “True Love is a Lie”? The first one was so good! Can I have it where it’s been a couple of months and you’re dating Sam and Lucifer comes and asks you to take a walk through the woods while Sam and Dean follow behind, just in case, and you tell him that you’re pregnant with Sam’s child and can you name the child Diana from Wonder Woman and also include the young Diana Prince?

Read Part 1 here!

Word Count: 1892

Warnings: Angst, pregnancy, fluff, cursing, terrible writing, idk what else since it has been too long since I’ve read this, the format got messed up when i posted this from my google docs

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Past Lucifer x Reader

A/N: I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Shit has been so crazy the past few months/years but I’ve got my mojo back! It has been so long since I’ve done anything but I am hoping that with this pandemic I can finally post and write all the requests I have been getting, sequels to my other stories, as well as new stuff I’ve been working on. I am still not taking any requests until I have finished those in my inbox. I love you all and I am so happy to be writing again!

A year went by since your last heartwrenching encounter with Lucifer.  You nearly forgot about it because of your new life with Sam.  Sam always made sure to be attentive and by your side at a moment’s notice.  He made you trust in people again after your confrontation with Lucifer.  He knew after that experience you’d be broken, so he made sure to be there to mend the pieces.   

You did not want to dwell in the past and think yourself into a  depressive mood, especially with the Winchester boys and your new best friend, Jack, gone on a hunt.  You would’ve went with them had you not felt so nauseous and tired.  It was a typical salt-n-burn so you weren’t exactly missing out on anything important.  Nevertheless, Sam hated leaving you, especially with Lucifer still out there, but you were safe. 

Just as the thought of the moose enters your mind, your phone buzzes.

Sam: Hey baby girl, we’re on our way back.  Need anything?

You: Just some warm cuddles from my moose. 

You: Actually, I need oranges like right now. Not joking, I feel like I’ll die without oranges.

Sam: Is everything ok? You’ve never asked for oranges and I’ve never even seen you eat oranges since I’ve known you.

You: Yeah I’m fine, just a bit nauseous.  Also I’ve just been having a weird craving for oranges for some reason.  Oh well.

Sam: Hmm, I’m no doctor but maybe you should get checked out.  I worry about you, honey.

You: I know sweetie, but the doctor is expensive. It’s probably just the stomach flu or something.  Btw, how much longer?

Sam: Probably an hour, give or take 15 minutes.

You: Ok, Love you! See you soon!

Sam: Love you too! Can’t wait!

“Ok, so I have about an hour or so to check and see if my suspicions are correct.” You say aloud to yourself.

“What suspicions?” Cas suddenly appears out of nowhere, scaring you half to death.

“What the hell Cas?!” You all but screamed.

“Sorry, I thought you were praying to me.” Cas was never any good at lying to you.

“Umm, no I wasn’t just tell me why are you here?”

“I heard something on angel radio, and I needed to know if it is true.” He places a hand on your stomach.  “So it is true.”

“What? What is wrong with me?”

“(Y/N), your suspicions are right.  You’re six weeks pregnant.”

“How is that possible? Sam and I were so careful! What will he think or say? No, I can’t tell him. Not yet.”

With Sam and Dean still not home, you made Cas get a pregnancy test.  You trusted the angel’s words, but you needed concrete evidence.  You made Cas leave for a few days; you knew for sure that Cas wouldn’t be able to keep the secret.  The plus sign emerged with seconds to spare as Sam’s heavy footsteps could be heard approaching your shared room.

“(Y/N) I’m home!” Sam yelled as he collapsed onto the bed. You run out from the bathroom, pounce on him, and kiss all over his face.

“I missed you, Moose.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart.  I got the oranges you asked for.” 

“Thank you, baby…” You said as you chewed on the inside of your cheek.

“What’s wrong, baby girl?”

“Sam, have you ever thought about having kids?”

“Well yeah of course but… Isn’t it a little dangerous given our profession?”

“Yeah that’s true, but we’ve got out once, we can do it again.  Besides, I know I am safe when I’m with you and when I’m here in the bunker.”

“Enough with the chit chat, we have company.” Dean interrupts 

You and Sam follow Dean to the lighted table, sitting there was God himself, dressed oh so casually and a look of nervousness graced his face.  He twiddled his thumbs and a small smile made its way to his features as his eyes locked with yours.  

“Uh hehe, hey (Y/N), Sam, Dean, Jack.”

“What’s up, Chuck?” You said, holding onto Sam.

“Um, Lucifer asked me to tell you that he’s outside and would like to speak with you.” You grabbed onto Sam a little tighter.  

“I’ll talk to him, but I want Sam and Dean to stay close to me.  Jack should stay behind since it’s his father.”  

“He knows, he said that they could.”

You make your way outside and there he is, dressed in a nice suit and tie with a bouquet of (f/c) (f/f) in his right hand, but one thing was different: you couldn’t see his wings.  Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, but Sam gave a reassuring squeeze to your hand.  You began walking toward Lucifer, Sam and Dean close behind.  Lucifer handed you the bouquet of flowers and gave a quick peck to your knuckles.  This apparently didn’t sit well with Sam as he cleared his throat with anger. 

“Will you join me for a walk through the woods, (Y/N)?” Lucifer asked and you look to Sam and Dean. “Don’t worry, they can follow behind.”  

You all walk to the edge of the woods in silence, your heart beat faster with every step closer to the treeline.  Through your peripheral vision, you could see Sam clench and unclench his jaw.  He was just as nervous as you were, if not more so.  You and Lucifer finally enter the woods. Sam and Dean follow a minute behind to give you some form of privacy, while still able to barely make out your conversations.  

“First of all, I want to say I’m so sorry for what I did to you.  I should have asked for your permission and talked it through with you.” Lucifer says, breaking the silence.  

“It’s alright I guess. I did some research and I now understand that I would not have survived through labour.  However, that does not justify your actions, what you did really hurt me.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry.  I never meant to hurt my soulmate.”

“Soulmate?”

“Yes, you were my soulmate.  That’s why you were able to see my wings.”

“Then why can’t I see them now?”

“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about.”  There was a pained expression on his face, you’ve never seen the devil quite like this before.  “I had God make Sam your soulmate after what I had done to you.”

“This isn’t like you Lucifer, why would you do this?”

“I have to prove to you that I will always love you and do what’s best for you, even if it meant letting you go.” He sighed and placed a hand on your stomach. You could hear Dean hold Sam back as he spewed threats if Lucifer were to harm you.  

“Hurt the baby and I will not hesitate to pluck every feather from your wings.”

“I swear on my Father that I will protect yours and Sam’s child. It’s the least I could do to make up for everything.” He said as he kisses your forehead. “Name her Diana.” With that he disappears.

Sam finally breaks away from his brother and runs straight to you. He sees you place a hand protectively over your stomach and smile to it.The words of Lucifer finally make sense to him as he asks “You’re pregnant?”

You shake your head and smile, afraid to say anything.

“I am going to be a father!” Sam shouted with excitement as he picks you up and spins you around.  Tears of joy threaten to spill from both you and Sam as you lock eyes.  As he goes in for a kiss, you both are interrupted by Dean, yelling incoherently and excitedly about him being an uncle. You and Sam look at each other and giggle. It’s not a perfect family, but you can’t live without them.

Time Skip to Wedding Day (3 years later)

You look at your engagement ring then to your flower girl, Diana Prince Winchester, waddling down the aisle leaving flower petals in her wake.  She looked so adorable in her little white dress and you couldn’t help but to tear up.  The audience gasp and awe as they watch your daughter.

The wedding was surprisingly large for a pair of hunters.  Hordes of hunters (friends and some you’ve never seen before), the Winchesters’ monster “friends”, a few angels, and some family came from all over to see you two get married.  With God sponsoring your wedding, you expected something extravagant like a wedding at the Vatican. However, this was not the case.  The ceremony was held in a beautiful meadow that somehow matched your (f/c) wedding theme. The icing on top of the cake was Chuck himself officiating the wedding.  

The wedding march began and Gabriel walks you down the aisle.  Sam couldn't help but let a few tears slip as he watches his two beautiful girls in white.  Dean, the best man, elbows him slightly but he too couldn't help the tears.  Cas, Lucifer, and Jack all smile at you and then to Sam.  They know you two are perfect for each other.  You weren't phased by Sam asking Lucifer to be a groomsman. Besides, it was your idea to have him as Diana's godfather.  You finally reach the altar, and neither of you seem to care about the sniffling and hiccuping. You were finally marrying each other so let the waterworks happen. 

You were hardly paying attention until you hear Chuck say it's time to share your vows.  Sam clears his throat and begins: 

“Y/N, I've known you for as long as I can remember.  We've been fighting side by side since we were little and our dads would go on hunting trips together.  I would always tell myself, that one way or another I will marry this girl and protect her from any and every monsters.  You may have not been my soulmate then, but you are my soulmate now. And as your soulmate, I'm never letting you go.” There was a slight pause and an awkward cough from Lucifer. “I will love you until the end of time.” 

He slips the ring on your finger as you begin:  “I’d never thought I would be standing here with the infamous Sam Winchester, yet here I am with a ring on my finger.  You were my first best friend and my first crush and my first protector.  you’ve saved me from being broken in more ways than one, and for that I owe you my life.  While it is true we were not soulmates before, we are soulmates now and that’s all that matters.  I will love you forever until the end of time.” 

After the expression of the “I Dos,” you hear the words you’ve been dying to hear since you made it to the altar: “You may kiss the bride.” Sam grabs you by the waste and pulls you to him.  With the passion of a thousand suns, he kisses you and everything melts away.  It was just like the first time you two kissed.  

In the back of your mind, you could hear Lucifer whisper “I will always love you” but that didn’t matter to you anymore. You are Sam’s and he is yours.  Nothing will change that.

[puffmamaa]

Elbow Deep: Part 2

Hey, everybody! So here is Part 2. Finally! After racking my brain for daaayss, I was able to find some inspiration to write this. It will be a series btw. My first, so be gracious. I’m sensitive about my shit.

CATCH UP: Part 1.

Pairing: Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens x Black, Dark-Skin, Plus Size OC. (Always💛)

Summary: It all started with a plate of hot wings, y’all.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Cussing. Use of the N-word. Mention of the death of a parent. Mention of emotional abuse, fatphobia, & cheating in a romantic relationship. And a small mention of Steve Harvey, just in case the thought of his mustache triggers anybody. 🙃

A/N: I had to make some changes. One big one is that Erik isn’t the director of the Wakandan Outreach Center like what was mentioned in Part 1. He actually doesn’t work with it at all. But it’ll all be explained as we go along. Hopefully, it’ll makes sense. If not, I’ma need y’all to just roll with it anyways lol.

Bold, Italic font is inner dialogue.

——

Janessa moved through the gala hall towards her sit, her thick hips swaying between the tables.

“Girl, where the hell did you go? Leaving me here all by myself,” Chantelle, Janessa’s best friend, scowled lowly. She was a tall, fluffy-thick with sepia brown skin that was complimented well by her long, navy gown. Her fluffy burgundy twist was pinned in a cute updo.

“You’re the one who nearly begged to be my plus one. I figured you wouldn’t mind,” Janessa whispered back, tossing her black, waist length locs over her shoulder as she sat down. “Plus, I was hungry and had to find something actually edible.”

“Heffa, you ate without me? What kind of friend…” Chantelle gave her a betrayed look.

“You looked fine picking at that bird food early. Kiki-ing real hard with whoever that guy was.”

“That’s because he looked like he had a little money. But he was a whole cornball. Going on about Steve Harvey being his role model or something. I couldn’t hear shit else after that.”

Janessa scoffed. “You better leave them bootstrappin’ negros alone.”

“I know. I usually wouldn’t even entertain…” Chantelle trailed off. “Who is that guy staring at you?” 

“What?” Janessa replied, looking in the same direction as Chantelle. “Oh. I meet him earlier in the kitchen. We had some wings together.”

“You sure all he wanted was the wings? Cause he’s looking at you like you’re a bowl of gravy. And he’s the biscuit.”

“Girl,” Janessa huffed.

“Uh, uh. He FINE fine.” She squinted her dark brown eyes. “Did you at least give him your number?”

“Hell no. I didn’t come here for all tha—OW!” She yelped.

Chantelle had given her one of those big mama church pinches.

“What the fuck was that for?”

“Letting his delectable ass get away. I should do worse but we in public so I’ll let you live,” she half joked.

Janessa rubbed the sore spot on her thigh and looked over towards Erik. He was staring. And he was fine. It’s not like she didn’t notice before. She definitely did. His smooth brown skin and dark amber eyes. The way his meticulously sculpted facial hair framed his deep dimples. And those lips. She could feel herself starting to overheat. Uh, uh. No Ma’am. To her, a man like that couldn’t be nothing but trouble.

“Girl, I’m good,” Janessa said.

“Nah. You trippin’, is what you is,” Chantelle huffed, turning her attention back to the stage.

—

“And now for a particularly special part the evening. My favorite, I might I add...”

Erik tuned out the sound of T’Challa’s voice. All he could focus on was the beautiful woman in white and the way her dark, umber colored skin glistened against her bright dress. Janessa. The woman he’d just spent over half an hour eating hot wings with. The woman he’d felt oddly comfortable with in such a short period of time. The same woman he let leave his presence without asking her out or at very least, getting her number.

To be honest, Erik didn’t usually have to ask. Women would sell their panties for a chance to get at him. He even had to keep a few beckies at arm’s distance throughout the night. But not her. She actually walked her fine, plump ass out of the kitchen without so much as a second glance back. It hit him in his ego, he’d had to admit. But it also made him more interested in her.

Erik moved from his spot on the wall, eying a way to get over to her.

“Hey—Wait a minute, aren’t you from Wakanda? A short, thin-lipped white man asked.

“No.” Erik said blankly, attempting to move past him.

“Yes! I remember seeing you with the King before. Wa...W’kabi, isn’t it?

“Hell nah,” Erik flared his nostrils. “Ain’t nobody ever tell you it’s rude to talk during presentations?”

“Oh! Well, I didn’t me—“

“Yeah, uh huh,” Erik said inching away. He scanned the room. I just had my eyes on her...

“...so let’s give a round of applause to our honoree, The 2019 Most Influential Community Leader of the Year, Janessa James!”

Erik snapped his neck around so fast he swore he heard it crack. He looked up to see Janessa on stage exchanging a handshake and hug with T’Challa.

—

“I’m so proud of my baby!” Chantelle squeezed her arms around Janessa’s neck. “The best Director East Oakland Community Outreach Center has ever seen and now being honored by the King? My bestie is a bad boosh!”

“Thanks, girl!” Janessa hugged her back just as tight. “But you know we all put in hella work for the community. What would I do without my Assistant Director, holding me down?”

“Well, shit let me hold the award then.” She said taking the plaque from her bestie.

“Congratulations, Janessa!” Shuri hugged her from behind. “I’m so glad you and the center are getting the exposure you deserve!”

“I should be thanking you too. All you’ve done with helping us start the STEM program,” Janessa beamed at the teenage genius.

Shuri shot her a big smile. She had spent the last year partnering with the East Oakland Community Outreach Center. Her work introduced the youth in the community to STEM education they wouldn’t regularly have access to in their underfunded school system. She loved the center and had built meaningful relationships with so many of the people there.

“You are too kind. You know, I...” Shuri turned around slowly, feeling a large yet familiar presence behind her.

“Congratulations. I didn’t know you were being awarded tonight,” Erik said to Janessa, slowly moving his cousin out of the way.

“How do you two know each other?” Shuri questioned.

“We met earlier,” Erik replied, not taking his eyes off Janessa.

“There he goes with that staring again,” Chantelle teased as she moved to greet him. “I’m Chantelle. Janessa’s best friend.” She extended a hand to him.

He smiled and took it. “Erik.”

“MMhmmp! Look at those dimples. Deep enough to hide from the police in,” She chirped.

Janessa chuckled. Her friend was so damn extra.

Erik turned his attention back to Janessa. He look her over slowly and licked his juicy lips. “I was thinking, since we had such a good time earlier, how about I treat you to a real meal?” He ran his knuckle down the length of her arm.

Janessa raised an eyebrow at him, flicking his finger off of her. “Uh, no. I’m good,” she scoffed.

Erik and Chantelle both cocked their necks back.

“You good?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, are you busy or something? Cause I can do lunch too.”

“No. Well, I am a busy woman. But that’s not why I’m not interested. I just...don’t want to.”

“You don’t want to? Why?” Erik was genuinely confused. He did not expect her to turn him down. “I thought we were vibin’ back there.”

“We had a nice little conversation. A cute time. But that doesn’t mean I owe you a date.” Janessa said in a harsh tone.

“And I—oop.” Shuri yelped.

Chantelle’s jaw damn near hit the floor. She knew her friend to pull no punches with men but she was laying it on extra thick with Erik.

“Come on, baby girl.” Erik ran a hand over his hair. “You serious right now?”

“As a heart attack, baby boy.”

Erik furrowed his brows.

“Well, we’ve got to get going. Bye Shuri. I’ll see you later,” Janessa gave Shuri a quick hug.

She gave Erik a cold once over and turned back at Shuri. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

She grabbed Chantelle, whose mouth was still wide open, and headed towards to exit. Erik stood there, still thrown off at the scene that just played out.

Shuri exploded with laughter. “Now, N’Jadaka. I thought you said you had ‘the juice’.”

She patted her baffled cousin on the back and walked away, still giggling.

—

“BITCH, what the hell?” Chantelle pressed hand to Janessa’s forehead. “Did you bump your head or some shit? That fine ass man just asked you out. Not only did you decline, but you left that poor baby with half his face on the floor,” She laid her head back against the seat, still in shock at her friends actions.

“He’s a grown ass man. He’ll be just fine. And like I said to you and him, I’m good,” Janessa bent down to remove her heels. “I know his type. Arrogant. Smooth. And rude as fuck. Talking about ‘Let me treat you to a meal.’ Because I’m a big girl, I must want to eat? Tuh! And did you see him touch me? Uh, uh. He’s probably used to having his way with women.”

“If I were you, I would have let him have his way with me,” Chantelle retorted.

“I’d rather not be number ‘umpeenth’ on his hit it and quit it list.”

“That‘s a damn shame,” Chantelle shook her head. “He look like he got good dick. The kind you need right about now. That ‘let him drop you off at your job in your car’ kind of dick.”

“Well, I guess we’ll never find out.”

“Speak for yourself. I’ma see if his ass is on BLK.” Chantelle pulled out her phone and stated swiping through her apps.

Janessa gave her a vicious side-eye.

“OKAY. I’m was just playing, damn.” Chantelle said as putting her phone away. She pulled out the parking lot and headed back towards their neighborhood.

—

Janessa pushed her large black rimmed glasses further up her face and streched her body in her plush office chair. She rubbed her hands down her high waisted olive colored pants and adjusted her long-sleeved, cream colored wrap top. She sighed as she pulled her long ponytail of locs over her shoulder. The center was preparing for its Annual Juneteenth Celebration. Which meant more work added to her already full schedule. But she couldn’t complain too much. It was her favorite event of the year. The whole block came out; youth, elders, and everyone in between. They’d have spades and uno games going. Basketball and baseball competitions. And a huge cookout, where the women would argue over who made the best potato salad while the men drank Coronas and grilled meat. But the best part was the ending ceremony. Everyone would meet in the basement of the center. One of the griots would tell stories of their ancestors and their survival through middle passage and slavery. The youth would give dance performances and skits, inspired by the favorite Black icons and moments in history. At the end, they would pray and sing songs to pay respect and homage to those that came before them. It was a beautiful day and never failed to bring Janessa to tears. Seeing her culture celebrated so proudly across generations really touched her heart.

A small knock at her door shook her out of her thoughts.

“Come in.”

“Hey, boss lady,” Chantelle smiled, walking into the office. She sat down in one of the chairs in front her friend’s crowded desk.

“Hey, Channy,” Janessa said, “What’s up?”

“Derek just checked today’s delivery. The order for the sports equipment was short.”

“Short? That’s not possible. I doubled checked the numbers myself,” Janessa furrowed her brows. “Did they mix up the order or something.”

“Nope. We both checked the invoice. I wasn’t a mistake on their end.”

“That can’t be right…” Janessa let out a deep sigh. She pressed a button on her office phone, buzzing her assistant. “Tandy, can you come here for a second?”

She was met with low giggles and whispers from the other end.

“Tandy?” She said a little louder.

“Oh! Hey, what‘s up?”

“I asked if can you come into my office.”

“Um yeah, hold on.”

Tandy entered Janessa office holding her cell in her hand. She was tall, slim and light-brown skin with a short brown TWA.

“You rang?” She said in a sing-songy voice.

Chantelle groaned.

“You ordered the sports equipment, right?”

“Yeah, I did. Why?”

“Well, only about half came. And based on the invoice, it’s because the wrong order was placed. Did you order thirty, like I asked?”

“Thirty? Girl, I thought you said thirteen. My bad.”

Janessa rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Chantelle gave Tandy a wide-eyed look.

“Tandy. I sent it in an email. And I told you in person. Twice.”

“Ohh, Pffhhtt! I don’t be checking that email like that,” Tandy let out a short laugh. “You want me to order more?”

“No, Tandy,” Janessa tried to remain calm and professional. “They wouldn’t be here in time anyways. I’ll take care of it.”

She shrugged. “Okaay. Well, do you need anything else from me?”

“No, that’s all.”

“Cool. I’ma go head and take my lunch then,” She exited the office, giggling at something on her phone as she closed the door.

Janessa threw her head back and let out a loud groan.

“I swear that girl is gonna be the death of me.”

“I don’t know how you deal with it. Between all the attitude and incompetence. Girl I can’t,” Chantelle shook her head in disbelief.

“Who you telling? If it’s not her constantly messing something up, she’s flirting with any breathing body that walk through the door,” Janessa rolled her eyes. “Last week I caught her getting fresh with the damn UPS man. And don’t get me started on the volunteer sign up. She ‘forgot’ to update the dates on the form and now we’re short-handed for this weekend.”

“Two words: New Assistant.”

Janessa sighed, “I know, I know. But I’m trying to give her a chance, you know? She’s young and needs experience. And you know it’s hard for us. What’s the point of me being in this position if not to put other Black women on?”

“I hear you. But for one, she’s not that much younger than us. And for two, she obviously doesn’t take her job seriously. I get your trying be patient and understanding, but you got to consider the big picture. It seems like she’s adding more stress to your load than anything.”

“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” Janessa rolled her lips, looking off into the distance.

“Listen,” Chantelle rubbed her hands over her knee-length black dress. “There’s something else I needed to talk to you about.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“That whole scene the other night, at the gala.”

“Girl, I know you’re not still on that.”

“Yeah, well you were kind of doing the most, friend. What was up with that?”

“I told you. I don’t trust guys like him.”

“But you don’t know him,” Chantelle said. “He could be a decent guy. I mean, he was cool enough for you to eat chicken wings with. What could a date hurt?”

“Why are you defending him? You don’t know him either.”

“I’m not defending him. I’m looking out for you,” She scooted closer to the desk, looking Janessa in the eyes. “I’ve seen you shut down almost ever guy who shows any kind of interest in you. I know men can be trash but you don’t have to give up on all of them. Everybody isn’t Andrew.”

Janessa shifted uncomfortably at the sound of her ex-boyfriend’s name. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“I mean you haven’t really dated anyone seriously since him. And it’s been years now.”

“So what? Being single is a problem? Turning down some stupid ass niggas who just want to waste my time is wrong?” She scowled in a defensive tone.

“No. It’s just...I worry about you sometimes. I know between dealing with Drew and what happened with you dad, it’s been hard for you to—.”

“I said, I’m fine. Okay?” Janessa fingered the sun-shaped pendant on her necklace. ”Look, I need to pick up this equipment while I have some extra time.”

“Nessa, I’m didn’t mean to upset you,” Chantelle grabbed her hand.

“I’m cool,” Janessa snatched her hand back. She stood up, grabbing her denim jacket and purse. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

Chantelle sighed, walking out of the office with her. “Okay.”

—

Janessa rushed through Joyner’s Sporting Goods, one of the only Black-owned sporting good stores in the city. She hated last minute shopping. But she obviously couldn’t trust her assistant with a simple task. Plus, she needed to get out the office. Chantelle’s comments had gotten to her. She knew she meant well, but her relationship with Andrew was a sensitive topic for her. He was her first everything, including her first heartbreak. She met him right after her father passed. He took advantage of her vulnerability and insecurity, always insinuating she wasn’t pretty enough or needed to lose weight. In the end, he winded up leaving her for some chick he was sleeping with while they were still together. Janessa was a complete mess after that. Chantelle was the one who helped her keep it all together. She didn’t have any other family around since her father was basically a single parent. Chantelle was even the one who encouraged her to start volunteering at the center in the first place. She was all Janessa had.

“Damn. I should have gotten a cart.” Janessa said as she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She shifted the stuff in her arms around to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey. Just checking your ETA. We still have some details we need you to finalize for this weekend.” Chantelle said through the phone.

“I’m still in Joyner’s but I should be finished soon,” Janessa sighed, shuffling her weight between her feet. “Channy, I’m sorry about earlier. I know I was a little rude. It’s just all that stuff...I don’t have time for it right now.”

“Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have brought it up while you were working. I was just concerned,” she said.

“I know. And I appreciate it. You’re always looking out for me.”

“And you know this,” Chantelle joked. “For both you and your lil nani, at this point. Because I’m concerned for her too.”

Janessa let out a loud laugh. She turned around to continue her shopping and smacked right into a shelf, knocking everything out of her arms.

“Shit,” Janessa yelped.

“You okay?” Chantelle asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Janessa sighed, trying to balance her phone between her shoulder and ear as she kneeled down. “I just need to hurry up and get out of here.“

“You need some help?”

Janessa looked up in the direction of a familiar voice. Standing there was Erik, with a smug little smirk on his handsome face. He wore a black hoodie that read ‘Lost Tribe’, black basketball shorts, and all black Air Max 90’s. His locs hung loosely to one side.

“Aw hell,” She whispered, still crouched down. “Not you.”

“Look Too Tough, I’m just trying to help. With your short, little arms I don’t think you can hold all that and run ya mouth on the phone at the same time,” He teased, leaning on his shopping cart.

“Huh? Who was that?” Chantelle questioned.

“Nobody. I’ll talk to you later,” Janessa quickly hung up and turned her attention back to Erik. “Too tough? Really nigga?”

“Yea, cause that’s how you was acting the other night,” He grinned, his gold slugs gleaming.

“Whatever,” She tried to grab some of her stuff off the floor. “I’m good, I got it.”

“You good,” Erik mocked, squatting down to help her. “What you need with all these toys, anyways? You got kids?”

“And if I do? Will that get you to leave me alone?”

“Nah. Kids love me,” He placed a couple of baseball bats in the cart.

Janessa rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. “Well, for your information, nosey. I don’t have any kids. These are for the center I work at.”

“Riight. Director of the East Oakland Community Outreach Center. Most Influential Community Leader of the Year.”

“You’ve been stalking me or something?”

Erik chuckled, “No, but I do tend to research things that interest me.”

Janessa snorted, rolling her eyes harder. “You’re laying it on pretty thick there, sir.”

”I could say the same for you and all your attitude, ma’am.”

Janessa let out a long sigh. This nigga got an answer for everything.

“Look, I still have more shopping to get done and other places to be. So, I can’t stand here and chat with you all day.”

“Cool, me too. Let’s go.” Erik grabbed the cart, and turned around. He pushed it towards the next aisle. Janessa reluctantly followed. She didn’t really need a shopping buddy but that didn’t stop Erik from grabbing her shopping list and picking things out. She attempted to regain control over her shopping trip but Erik wasn’t having it. Eventually she relented, figuring it was easier to let him take over instead of fighting him in the middle of the store. She tried to keep the conversation at a minimum but that was damn near impossible with all the questions he asked. Eventually, she told him more about her work at the center, including the Juneteenth Celebration. He told her that he owned and operated his own fitness studio, which made sense as to why he seem to know the store like back of his hand. And why he was built like a fucking brick wall. Janessa had to catch herself from staring at his body every time he turned away or bent down. But before she realized it, she found herself actually enjoying his company. Well, for a second time.

They both checked out and headed towards the parking lot. Janessa unlocked her car and popped the trunk. Erik pulled the shopping cart towards it and loaded her bags inside.

“Thanks,” she said jingling her keys in her hands.

“No problem,” Erik closed the trunk. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’re letting me help you, Too Tough.”

Janessa laughed at the nickname this time. “Are you always this corny?”

“You could find out if you let me take you on a proper date.”

“Haven’t we done this already?”

“Yeah, when you shot me down in front of all those people and left me heartbroken in the middle of the floor. Only to twirl away and out the door with your friend,” Erik recited, dramatically flaring his hands. “Yet here I am, brave enough to try again. You gonna go easy on a nigga this time?”

Janessa rolled her eyes. “That was me being easy on you.”

Erik let out a light laugh, “I couldn’t tell. I mean damn, ma. You act like I got the cooties or something.”

Janessa noticed his face soften a little. She sighed. “Listen, I got a lot going on right now. Things have been crazy hectic at work. And this weekend is approaching fast. I have tons of things to do. Paperwork to review. Hella meetings to attend. And I still have to figure out how to replace the volunteers we lost,” Janessa took a long breath to stop her ranting. “I don’t have the time for this.”

“Volunteers?”

“Yeah, we’re short a bunch of volunteers for the celebration.”

“Hmm,” Erik rub his hand through his beard. “You know, I’m free this weekend.”

“What?”

“I’m saying, I can stop by and help out. Whatever you need.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. On one condition, though.” Erik moved closer and lowered himself to meet her height, his nose almost touching hers. The scent of his cologne teased Janessa’s nostrils. Damnit, he smells good.

“And what’s that?” She said, bringing herself back to the conversation.

“You agree to go out with me.”

Janessa squinted her eyes at him. She wasn’t in a position to turn down volunteers, especially if she wanted this event to go off without a hitch.

Erik raised an eyebrow at her, a smirk dancing on his lips.

“Fine. I’m sure your brolic ass could help with some of the heavy lifting.”

Erik shot her a big grin and licked his lips. “Perfect.”

Janessa gave him the center’s contact information and a copy of the event flyer before getting into her car.

“Aight, Too Tough. I’ll see you this weekend.” Erik said.

She pursed her lips lightly. “See you, Erik.”

He winked and jogged off in the opposite direction.

Janessa started her car and pulled out the lot. As she drove, her thoughts drifted to Erik. His persistence was annoying as fuck. But at the same time, kind of cute? She thought about what Chantelle said earlier. Maybe she could give him a chance. It’s just one date.

She let out a deep sigh. The whole thing still made her feel uneasy. Erik was a charming motherfucker. She knew that too much of him and she’d be like Jill Scott, singing about grits and shit.

She clutched her necklace, fiddling with the sun-shaped pendant.

It was going to be an interesting weekend.

——

Taglist: @essaysbyciara @janelledarling @destinio1 @bitchacho25 @chaneajoyyy @quietstorm-73 @lifelover4u

Let me know what y’all think!

Like, comment, & reblog!

🌞

[krizaland]

Detention Chapter 2

First Chapter

Chapter 2 is here! things are getting spicy!

Be warned: There’s swearing and very strong flirting ahead!

Here’s the song I used btw

“Ugh! Y/N! Why didn’t you tell me to cover your cage?! You know I want to keep you for myself!” Number 1 growled as he marched up to your cage.

“I’m sorry, sir. You just seemed so mad, I didn’t want to-”

“Whatever. I’ll tell you what. I’ll let this slide if you agree to marry me!” Number 1 purred as a few drops of spit splattered against your cage.

“How about I just dance for you again instead?” You grumbled as you folded your arms.

“Oh fine! But you can’t keep rejecting me forever!” Number 1 sang as he pulled out an alien looking remote.

ZAP!

You were freed from your cage!

You glanced over at the exit only to earn a disapproving glare from Number 1.

“Y/N, you aren’t thinking about escaping again are you? I don’t want to have to electrocute your pretty face again.” Number 1 chided as he wagged his wrinkly finger at you.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t.” You groaned as you followed Number 1 to his throne.

“Well? I’m waiting, Y/N.” Number 1 grumbled impatiently.

You sighed as you begun to dance once more. You were forever destined to preform for Number 1.

Or so you thought.

As the day went on, Majestzee ran through The Track of Fire faster than all of the other Zims!  

However, when it came time to challenge number 100, Majestzee was a bit intimidated.  

While he would never admit it, Majestzee wasn’t very confident in his weightlifting skills.

Especially when compared to the skills of a behemoth like Number 100.

Number 100 was cheerfully lifting the heaviest weights the training chambers had to offer.

Majestzee swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

“Attention Number 100! The great and glorious Number 1 has requested that I challenge you to weightlifting competition!”

“Huh, Number 2 wants to challenge Big Zim?” Number 100 asked as he stopped lifting.

“Y-Yes! Do you accept?” Majestzee stuttered as he struggled to stay calm.

“Sure, Big Zim don’t care.”

And with that, Majestzee took off his cloak, climbed onto the benchpress next to Number 100, and wrapped his fingers around his weights.

Majestzee’s arms wobbled as he struggled to lift the weight. He groaned and panted but the weight refused to move.  

Meanwhile, Number 100 lifted his weights as if they were nothing more than thin twigs! Not a single bead of sweat dripped down his face as he kept going.

Pink sweat poured down Majestzee’s face as he started to lose his grip on the weight. More grunts and groans escaped Majestzee’s throat as his arms begun to throb.

Number 1 was well aware of Majestzee’s insecurities and was gleefully watching him squirm from the comforts of his throne.

Majestzee was ready to give up when his mind wandered to think of you.

“You know, you kinda sound like Zim royalty to me. I hope we can meet again someday..” Your gentle voice echoed throughout Majestzee’s mind.

Majestzee’s eyes burst open as he tightened his grip on his weight.

“FOR THE GLORY OF Y/N!!!”

And with that, Majestzee finally had enough strength to lift his weight.

Majestzee found himself making light work of his current weight and he decided it was time to go heavier.

Pretty soon, no weight became a match for Majestzee! Whenever he felt himself grow even the slightest bit tired, all he had to do was think of your sweet smile and his energy would spike right back up.

It wasn’t long before Majestzee had finally defeated Number 100.

“VICTORY!!!” Majestzee cackled as he raised his tired arms high into the air.

Number 1 nearly fell out of his throne! That wasn’t supposed to happen! And why was he screaming out your name?!

“Y/N! You’ve got some explaining to do!” Number 1 snarled as he marched up to your cage.

“Why?! I didn’t even do anything!” You huffed as you folded your arms.

“Oh no? Then explain this!” Number 1 seethed as he played back footage of Majestzee’s outbursts.

You blinked in surprise. You didn’t realize how much of an impact you actually had on the poor Zim.

“Well?! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

The sound of Number 1’s impatient growl woke you from your thoughts.

“I didn’t do anything wrong! It’s not my fault he thinks I’m beautiful!” You countered.

“Oh so he thinks you’re beautiful does he?! I thought I told you that you belonged to me! No one else is allowed to have you! Do you hear me?! NO. ONE!!” Number 1 roared as he banged on your cage, drool firing in all directions.

“Like I said, it’s not my fault! Just because someone thinks I’m beautiful doesn’t mean we’re dating!” You snapped.

“Alright Y/N. To make up for your misbehavior, you are not only going to dance for me but you’re gonna sing too!” Number 1 cackled as he pulled out his remote.

ZAP!

Your cage didn’t open.

“Oops! Wrong button!” Number 1 chuckled as he pressed the correct button.

ZAP!

Your cage finally sprung open.

“There we go!”

Little did Number 1 know, that he had accidentally let his chamber forcefield down.

Noticing that the forcefield was down, Majestzee assumed Number 1 was ready to see him and trotted inside.

However, the moment he saw Number 1 talking to you, Majestzee soon realized that he wasn’t quite ready to see him yet.

He was about to leave when he heard something that made him stop dead in his tracks.

“Really? I gotta sing now too?” You pouted.

“Weeeell, you could always marry me instead!” Number 1 cooed as he slurped up his drool.

Majestzee felt a pang in his chest! Number 1 wanted to marry you?!

Majestzee felt like he shouldn’t be so surprised. After all, you were probably the most beautiful being in the galaxy! So it only made sense that you would be betrothed to Number 1.

Still, the mere thought of you belonging to anyone other than himself made Majestzee sick to his squeedilyspooch!

Majestzee quickly hid behind a pillar to try to regain his composure.

However, you had already noticed Majestzee and were graced with an idea.

“You know what? I think I’ve got a really good song to sing!”

Majestzee let out a sigh of relief. Clearly the whole ‘You could always marry me’ thing was simply an inside joke! Yes! That had to have been the case right?

“Aw, man! I almost had you there! Oh well! Proceed.” Number 1 smiled as he plopped down into his throne.

You took a deep breath and begun to sway your hips a bit.

“I’m not a bad guy. So don’t treat me bad if I’m feeling sad, alright?” You sang as you strutted towards Number 1.

The moment Majestzee heard you sing, his PAK sparked. What a lovely voice!

Number 1 let out an excited giggle as he watched you come closer.

“Please don’t be mad if I don’t smile back, alright?  If I fuck up my words don’t think I’m absurd, alright? Alright?” You patted Number 1’s cheek before strutting back to the center of the room.

“I’m physically exhausted, tired of my knuckles piercing. I’m chewing gum to pass this time, sadness can’t you see it? You’re too busy seeking selfish wishes. Look at how

I’m feeling! You write me up and say it’s love, and I can’t believe it!” Your movements matched the words perfectly.

“Baby, can you meet me tonight, in detention? I can feel your blood pressure rise. Fuck this tension.” Your voice was as smooth as velvet as you discreetly sent a wink Majestzee’s way.

Majestzee’s PAK sparked again as his face turned a darker shade of green.

“Let me crawl up into your mind. Did I mention? Pretending everything is alright is detention. De-Detention De-Detention Pretending everything is alright, is shh… ” You playfully put a finger to your lips.

“You’re like a teacher that doesn’t care about me. Fuck how I feel. As long as I make you happy. I let you do whatever you want to me. You’re the customer I’m chopped meat! I’m chopped meat!”  You sighed as you tried to distract Number 1 from the harsh lyrics with your sensual movements.

And your distraction attempts were indeed successful! For Number 1 was so captivated by you, he didn’t even notice Majestzee slowly poking his head out from behind the pillar to get a better look at you.

“I’m physically exhausted, tired of my knuckles piercing. I’m chewing gum to pass this time, sadness can’t you see it? You’re too busy seeking selfish wishes. Look at how

I’m feeling! You write me up and say it’s love, and I can’t believe it!” You were on the verge of tears but kept your cool.

“Baby can you meet me tonight, in detention? I can feel your blood pressure rise. Fuck this tension!” You discreetly flashed Majestzee a playful grin before falling to your knees.

Majestzee let out an excited chirp but quickly clamped a hand over his mouth once he realized he was being noisy.

“Let me crawl up into your mind. Did I mention? Pretending everything is alright is detention. De-Detention De-Detention Pretending everything is alright, is detention.” You sang as you crawled towards Number 1.

Number 1 sprung up straighter in his throne as his eyes literally lit up.

“I wanna go home but you say ‘now is not the time’ Fuck being all alone in the back of the classroom. Ah,” You sat up a bit and raised your arms above your head.

Number 1 let out a giggle as his neck spasmed with excitement, soaking the ground with drool in the process.

A shudder ran down your spine as you shielded yourself from the storm of drool headed your way.

“Please just leave me alone and stop, trying to say I’ve been out of line. When all I’ve ever asked was to go to the bathroom.” You sighed and you dramatically rose to your feet.

Despite his ever growing excitement, you could tell that Number 1 was starting to catch on to the lyrics.

You decided to turn things up a notch.

You swallowed your pride and strutted up to Number 1’s throne.

You put on the most flirty expression you could muster as you drew closer.

Number 1’s neck spasmed like crazy for a moment as another excited giggle escaped his throat.

You shielded your face from Number 1’s stream of drool as you waited for him to calm down a bit.

Once his neck stopped spasming, you leaned in as close as you could.

Expecting a kiss, Number 1 closed his eyes and puckered his slobbery lips.

However the kiss never came.

Instead you simply tickled him under his chin and strutted back to the center of the room.

Number 1’s eyes popped open as he let out an annoyed pout.

However, his annoyance melted away the moment  you started shaking your hips again.

“Baby can you meet me tonight, in detention? I can feel your blood pressure rise. Fuck this tension!”

“Let me crawl up into your mind. Did I mention? Pretending everything is alright is detention.” You sang as you playfully strutted up to the pillar Majestzee was hiding behind.

“Oh won’t you meet me tonight...” You leaned into Majestzee and gently caressed his cheek before elegantly sliding out from behind the pillar, “I can feel your blood pressure rise...”

Majestzee let out another excited chirp as his worm like tongue fell out of his mouth. His PAK sparked like crazy as he tried to steady his breathing.

You strutted back to the center of the room.

“Pretending everything is alright, is detention.” You whispered as you playfully posed.

Number 1 let out a few whistles as he rapidly applauded you.

Next

[golbrocklovely]

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter twenty-two: saying goodbye, scared to say why

A/N: IT’S SO GOOD TO BE BACK WITH THIS STORY!! i missed writing this, but it was a nice break. that being said, i’m gonna try to update this once a week, things might get a bit crazy when thanksgiving comes up bc i work retail and i’m gonna be working a lot so hopefully i won’t have to postpone anything. btw, at the end of this chapter i talk about the ‘colby and sam tour’. i changed how they originally had the dates for the tour. they still go during july and aug, but instead of philly being in july, it happens when they had the chicago show, and vice versa. it’ll make sense later why i had to change things around. alrighty, enjoy this chapter and lmk what you think :)

description of the story

taglist:  @ajosieface , @localsleeper , @julyrubyrose , @far-to-many-bands , @absolute-randomness-forever

trigger warning: cursing, mentions of breakup

word count: 1922

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DAY 13/14

“Skye… Skye… Baby. Wake up.” A deep voice whispered sweetly into my ear.

I slowly stirred awake, my eyes landing on the voice.

Colby smiled. “Hi babe.”

“Heyyy.” I slurred, my body beginning to stretch.

“So… it’s a little after ten, and I was thinking we could go do something.” He stated, his hand cupping my face.

I yawned. “Yeah? Like what?”

Colby smirked. “I want it to be a surprise. But first, I need you to go home and change.”

“Into what?” I asked, sitting up lazily.

“You’ll see. I got Casey to lay it out for you at home.” He slid out of bed, pulling his clothes on.

“You’re really trying to be sneaky about this, huh.” I laughed.

He chuckled. “Well, once you see what you’re changing into, you’ll probably know where we’re going.”

I rubbed my eyes and smiled. “Alright then. Take me home.”

/  /  /  /

After driving me home, Colby told me that he needed an hour to get ready for our date. I decided that after spending all night in bed, I needed to shower anyway. I took a long shower and stepped back into my room. I glanced at my bed and saw my bathing suit laying out on it.

Are we… going to the beach?

I smiled to myself and walked towards my closet to grab some flip flops and shorts. As I walked passed my mirror, I gasped at my reflection.

Covering my neck were little bites and hickies, reminders of my previous night. A light blush came to my cheeks as I touched the marks. None of them hurt, but they were all big and noticeable because of my pale skin.

I pulled the towel from around my body, gazing all over to see if there were other reminders. Subtle bruises rested on my hips. I shook my head and sighed.

I’m gonna kill Colby.

As my phone laid on my bed, it began to ring. I looked at the screen, seeing Colby's name pop-up. I grabbed it and answered.

“Hey. Just wanted to let you know I’m here.” Colby said happily.

“Okay. Were you gonna tell me I had hickies all over my neck or are you just blind?” I jeered jokingly.

He remarked. “What? They aren’t that bad.”

“The fuck they are.” I exclaimed.

“I’m sorry babe. If I’m honest, I kinda like seeing you have them. It’s hot.” I could tell he was smirking at the other end.

I pursed my lips, huffing. “Shut the fuck up. I’ll be out in five.”

“Bye Skye!” He beamed, laughing lightly.

“Bye.” I rolled my eyes, hanging up the phone.

I quickly threw on my bathing suit, a basic black one-piece, and some denim shorts. I grabbed my concealer and began to dab some on my neck, blending it in hastily. I grabbed my bag, slid on my flip flops, and reached for my beach towel. Looking myself over in the mirror, I gave my outfit a once over. Nodding to myself, I left my room.

As I walked to Colby’s car, I could see him smiling at me through the window. I got in and shook my head at him.

“You’re an ass for not telling me about the hickies.” I hissed.

He raised his hands in the air, defending himself. “You can barely see them.”

I scoffed. “That’s because I covered them up.”

“Are you that upset about them?” Colby questioned, biting his lip.

“No… not really. Just annoyed.” I continued, changing the subject. “Is there a reason why we’re going to the beach?”

“You told me the first night we hung out that you hadn’t been to the beach since you were five. I figured since you’re leaving tomorrow, this would be the perfect time to go.” He replied.

“You remembered me saying that?” I murmured.

He smiled sweetly. “Of course. That was the night I kinda fell for you.”

A light blush came to both our cheeks. I bit my lip softly, looking down at the car floor.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

/  /  /  /

After a two-hour drive, we finally arrived to the beach. It was semi crowded; the afternoon rush hadn’t kicked in yet. Hand-in-hand, we walked onto the beach. Colby carried an umbrella while I carried the towels and my bag.

We found a spot not too far from the shore, placing the towels and umbrella down. Colby shoved the umbrella into the sand, the shade feeling lovely compared to the hot sun.

“Can you get my back?” I asked, handing him a bottle of sunscreen.

“As long as you get mine.” He winked, taking the bottle and pouring some sunscreen into his hand. He slowly rubbed the cool lotion over my skin, circling my shoulder blades before moving down my back to the edge of my bathing suit. I could feel goosebumps rise on my skin as I felt his breath on my neck.

He lightly kissed my skin and whispered in my ear. “My turn.”

I let out a quiet laugh as I turned around to him, taking the bottle from him and pouring some into my hand. I rubbed the lotion in, studying his skin as I followed my hands.

“You have a really nice back.” I mumbled.

He chuckled. “Thank you... I think?”

Colby spun around to me and smiled cheekily. “So, what do you want to do first?”

I hummed. “How about we lounge? Listen to some music?”

“Sounds like a plan.” He replied, pulling out his phone and a pair of headphones. He handed me one ear bud as he laid down on his towel, scrolling through his phone and picking a song.

I laid down on my stomach, placing the ear bud in my ear. I buried my head into my arms and lazily listened to his music.

After a couple minutes, Colby brushed his hand over my back.

“Do you wanna go swim?” He queried.

I glanced up at him and nodded. Colby stood up, sticking his hand out for me to take. I grabbed it and pulled myself up.

We walked to the ocean, slowly stepping into the cool water. Colby lightly kicked the water towards me, splashing me. I giggled as it hit me. As we got deeper into the ocean, I retaliated, splashing at him.

“Oh, you’re gonna get it!” Colby exclaimed, smacking water at me.

This began an all-out war between us. By the time we finished, we were drenched and laughing hysterically.

Colby swam up to me, wrapping his arms around me. He leaned his forehead against mine, sighing deeply. His lips pecked mine softly.

“Let’s go dry off.” He decided.

I nodded my head swimming towards the shore and walking back to our stuff.

We wrapped our towels around ourselves. Colby stepped up to me and embraced me, pulling me into his chest.

He rubbed my back gently. “Are you having fun?”

“Yeah. Especially since I’m here with you.” I gazed up at him, smiling sweetly.

He bit his lip, leaning down and kissing my forehead.

/  /  /  /

After spending another hour at the beach, we decided to leave. I asked Colby to stay over at my place for my last night, and he agreed. Stopping back at the trap house, I got to say goodbye to everyone as Colby got changed. I gave them hugs and made sure they all had my number.

“Will you be coming back?” Corey whispered as he hugged me.

I sighed. “I would love to. But I don’t know when.”

“Well, you always have a place to stay here.” Sam added, smiling.

I replied. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

On the drive home, I stayed quiet, my mind racing.

I didn’t want to go home. I mean, I missed my mom, and my own room.

But Colby...

What’s gonna happen to us?

As we pulled into the driveway, Colby gazed over at me. “Are you okay? You’ve been really quiet.”

“I’m alright.” I muttered, unbuckling the belt and stepping out of the car.

As we got into the house, I could tell Casey wasn’t home.

Bet she’s with Brennen...

“I’m gonna shower. Make yourself at home.” I spoke. Colby laid down on my bed and nodded.

I showered quickly, wanting to get back to Colby. I got changed into some comfy clothes, stepping back into my bedroom. Colby was still on my bed, scrolling through his phone and watching something on the tv.

As his eyes landed on me, a soft smile came to his face. “Come here.” He mumbled, reaching his arms out for me.

I slowly walked over to him and fell into bed, landing gently on him. I snuggled myself into his chest, pressing as close as I could to him.

His chest vibrated as he hummed happily. He tightened his embrace, kissing my forehead.

I broke the silence that had fell over us.

“I don’t want to go.”

He exhaled at my words, rubbing his hands over my back. “I don’t want you to go, either.”

“Can I ask you something honestly?” I sat up quickly, looking into his eyes.

“Yeah.” Colby responded.

“What’s... gonna happen to us... when I leave?” I questioned.

His face twisted up. “What do you mean?”

“Are we...?” I suggested, unable to finish the sentence.

He filled in the blank. “Over?”

“I mean, I’d understand if you wanted to end things.” I fretted.

Colby sat up. “Why would I want to end this?”

“Because I don’t know when I can come back. I’m not rolling in money to just hop on a plane and rent a place to stay.” I sighed, continuing. “I could be gone for a while.”

“I know this. I wouldn’t have asked you to be mine if I was gonna end it.” He insisted.

“So... we’re staying together?” I uttered.

“I have no plans to end this any time soon.” Colby confirmed.

“But what about-”

His lips cut off my words. He savored the kiss, pulling away slowly. “It’s gonna suck that you’re not here, but I still want to be with you. We’ll make it work.”

“Okay. Because I really didn’t want us to be done.” I admitted, laying my head back on his chest.

He pulled me closer again. “The feeling is 100% mutual. Get ready for me to FaceTime you like every day.”

“Not if I do it first.” I chuckled.

He snickered. “And if it makes you feel better, me and Sam are going on tour soon.”

“Holy shit, really?” I blurted.

“Yep. We’re announcing it in our next exploring video.” Colby beamed.

“Wow. When do you go on tour?” I asked.

“We’re going through July and August. And guess where we’ll be stopping?” He teased.

“Is it a tiny city called Philadelphia?” I guessed.

He disagreed. “Philly’s pretty big.”

“Much like my ass.” I smirked.

Colby rolled his eyes, wheezing out a laugh. “Oh my god Skye.”

I smiled brightly, his laugh making me giggle.

“When are you coming to Philly?” I asked.

“August 19th.” He mentioned, rolling over and resting his body on top of mine.

“So... two or three months from now.” I noted.

He stared into my eyes, his hands falling to my waist. “I’ll be counting down the days.”

I slid my hands through his hair, pulling softly. “Well until then, let’s enjoy our last night together.”

“I can think of a few ways to do that...” Colby bit his lip, leaning in and kissing my lips hard.

<< CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 23 >>