#one piece crack

[generalkiira]

its the hello kitty tv for me

[zorosleftmantit101]

One Piece characters as tweets I found stupidly funny Part 1

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Robin, Law, Kid, Bartolomeo, Ace, Sabo, Shanks

A/N: shit posting is my superhero

C/W: swearing, idk like general shit post stuff,

Luffy: you'd be amazed at how many times i've fucked around without finding a single thing out

Zoro: sunscreen smells so good i be lathering that shit all up on my nuts

Sanji: when the parmesan wont come out of the container so u have to spank its little ass

Usopp: This is the worst video I've ever watched. I'm going to kill myself now thank you

Nami: My husband finally confessed to me that he's depressed and thinking about ending it all because he thinks I'd be better off without him.

I always thought he was strong and reliable, and seeing this weak side of him is making me think he's probably right.

Robin: why do they call it horseplay ive never seen horses play. they're always just standing there like they saw someone get shot

Law: noise cancelling headphones aren't enough i need everyone to die

Kid: something about saying

"your honor"

dont sit right w me... send me to jail. i aint dickriding you

Bartolomeo: thank god my anal itching was hemorrhoids

Sabo: walking downhill is so embarrassing like ooo look at me doing a little trot like a stupid fucking horse i'd rather be dead

Shanks: not liking my posts is like seeing me lying in the street covered in blood and you just keep walking

Ace: MY DAD GOT ME THIS YEARS AGO, I think it was a ploy so l'd choose him in the divorce

@zorosleftmantit101 2023

[shanksxbuggy]

[joi-me-hoi-me-noi]

Winning against them in a fight - OP!

This includes: Shanks, Luffy and Zoro

TW: blood... only a bit but still including this!

SHANKS -

You watch as he wipes the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. He was smiling, adjusting the hat on his head. Why the fuck was this man smiling at you?

"What's so funny?" You walk toward him, cracking your knuckles with a slight upturn in your lips.

He stands, his build towering over your smaller one. He spits on the ground and tilts his head at you.

"Nothing's funny, I'm just happy a pretty little thing like you is taking the time out of your day to fight little ol' me."

Heat makes its way to your facial features as you place your hand over your mouth to hide your smile. He sure as hell knew how to make you flustered.

"Shut it! Do you yield?" You ready your staff for another attack, eying his movements.

His crew watches from a distance, shocked that a 'pipsqueak like you' could take down their captain.

"I'll yield if you go on a date with me." He holds out his hand to you.

"Deal." You place your hand in his and put your staff back on your back.

You feel his hat sit on top of your hair as you adjust it to not block your sight. He throws you over his shoulder and walks back toward his crew of men.

"Alright men! Drinks on me tonight!"

LUFFY -

"Damn, did you eat a devil fruit too or something?"

Your eyes widened but then you laugh out loud. "You ate a devil fruit, I thought I'd be dead by now...you're pretty weak."

He tries again to hit you. You dodge yet again and smirk.

"You have bad aim too." You click your tongue and shake your head, smile still etched on your face.

He then shoots himself forward, screaming as loudly as humanly possible. You hold out your hand, gripping his neck as he struggles against you.

"Tap out." He doesn't listen to you, he's fading.

"Tap out before you die." He squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them, tapping quickly on your forearm.

You let him go and watch him fall to the ground, taking big gulps of air with tears in his eyes.

"You're not worthy to have me on your crew, small one. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll take my lea-" You look out to the ocean and your boat is sailing away...without you.

"WHATTHEFUCK!" Your hands cover your face and you let out a loud groan.

Luffy puts his hand on your shoulder and smiles at you. "You gonna join my crew now?"

"Yes captain, I will." A soft smile graces your face as he jumps up and down with happiness.

He then groans in pain and you hold out your hands, telling him to sit down. "Dawg, I hit you pretty damn hard in the ribs...do you want me to carry you?"

He tries again to get up and then just sits on the ground still.

"Yes."

ZORO -

"What the-" Your heel connects to the underside of his face.

He groans and doesn't go down.

You hum and smile at him. "That usually messes people up. Just a little bit of blood for you, cutie."

You point to your nose and he rubs underneath it, red liquid stains his knuckles. "Nice hit, but it won't happen again."

You smile and raise a eyebrow at the man in front of you. "Oh really? Let's see if you can keep up."

You rush toward him and sweep under his feet, causing him to fall. The katana in his hand presses against your neck as you straddle his waist and hold his wrist, pinning it to the ground. Your blood drips down his katana and you hum yet again.

"Very good. You got me but you put your guard down too quickly."

You pry both katanas out of his hands, deflecting the one in his mouth and holding the other up in the air, preparing yourself to stab him. Zoro tries to deflect it but misses entirely then the sword goes into the ground a few inches from his ear.

Still holding the sword, you lean down and whisper into his ear.

"We'll meet again. Don't let this happen again, I won't hesitate next time."

You remove yourself from him and walk away from him, not turning back.

He stays on the ground for a while before collecting himself and sheathing his katanas. He was utterly speechless at his performance with fighting you. You almost killed him.

"Definitely not letting that happen again."

[bby-deerling]

a shameless ripoff of @traffys meme about law

[sanjisblackasswife]

reader plays this with one piece men around 🦦 your pick for the men ofc

before i come off rude, hi and pretty please <33

“𝙴𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙷𝚒𝚜 𝙰$$”

𝙵𝚝. 𝙻𝚊𝚠,, 𝚉𝚘𝚛𝚘, 𝙻𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚢

i maaaayyyy do a part two w three more…i just lost ideas for sanji, shanks and ace🌚

Bad Summary: Look at the damn link, yall this isnt abt the reader eating ass😒….👁️👁️

Black Fem Reader in Mind

CW: …crack….and bad memes

Law

The MOMENT he hears the instrumental and the camera to his face he already knows you on some bullshit.

You: NOW IM EATIN HIS ASS—

Law:

You:

Law is just..he’s so tired. He took ur phone while it was still recording and explained himself—-

“The acts that go on between y/n and i in our own home is nobody’s bu—-“

You: LAW GIVE ME THE DAMN PHONE TIKTOK DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ALLAT

He took your phone for a week and his social media accounts were flooded with comments calling him “Law the Surgeon of Munching”

He may have taken your phone but you ain’t took away your voice so now all he hears is you echoing through the sub saying “EATING HIS ASS EATIN HIS ASS”

Zoro

First of all he’s more insulted you called him a switch

Unfortunately Luffy has played the song on repeat because he knows Zoro hates the song and due to that Zoro knows the song by heart

This was him when he first heard you hum it while yall was chilling on the bed:

“Stop.”

“Stop what?”

He knows youre full of shit so tonight as he settles into your chest for the night and he hears the song plays he immediately starts twitching in the eye

“I AN NOT A SWITCH!”

“Yes you are…and You a munch…cuz u love my ass.”

“SCREW YOU I AM NOT—“

*casually shows this picture to him that you took last night*:

You: 😄

Zoro doesnt like that song or you.

Luffy

Sings it with you.

Knows the song backwards and forwards so when you play it with him he does a whole dance routine until he falls like this—

(the white guy is Usopp)

He doesn’t care for the meaning of the song and whether it’s true or not of him eating your ass he just LOVES that damn song

“Y/NNNNN Play that song again, mami”😁

You: Luffy when did you first hear this song?

“In Dressrosa!😁😄”

Zoro and Law that have to hear Luffy hum it all 3 days:

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

As someone who’s never consumed any One Piece media, this is legit all I knew about the characters going into the Netflix show:

Luffy is going to be king of the pirates and he’s made of rubber since he ate the gum-gum fruit.

Zoro is just like a samurai

Nami is a lady and she’s not shy

Usopp is a marksman

Sanji cooks

Chopper doctors

[punktactical]

OLDER , ace + ?

★

summary ; ace finds out you like him. time to make his move! things don't seem to go as planned . . . (highschool au)

warnings ; cussing , older man - younger woman , crackfic-ish? , fluff.

a/n ; requests r open, that's all i've got to say

★

★

everyone knew you had a thing for ace, it was no secret.

you always asked to be partners in projects, always coming over to his house, and always finding excuses to be close to each other. so when ace finally found out, he was ecstatic.

"holy shit, [y/n] likes me?" sabo rolled his eyes, frowning. "didn't you know? it's obvious as hell." ace shakes his head, slightly flustered. he always thought you were cute but he never thought you'd fall for someone like him. luffy chewed on his granola bar, smacking loudly. "so are you guys getting married?" ace screeched, glowing red. "no, what the hell? that's for grown ups, luffy!" sabo snapped his fingers, bringing ace's attention back to him. "so what're you going to do now with this information?" ace shrugs, rubbing the back of his head. "ask her out, i guess." luffy raises his hand, grinning.

"there's a dance this friday after school, how about you ask her to the dance!"

so that's how ace got here, standing in the middle of the hallway with a bouquet of roses in his hand and a teddy bear in the other. sabo looked around the corner, before turning back around with a whisper-shout. "here she comes! get ready!" sabo and luffy rush to hide, while ace gulps down his nervousness. he can hear your sweet giggles down the hallway, chatting with your friends. he could listen to you all day.

you finally turn the corner, stopping in your tracks. there stood portgas d. ace, your close friend, holding a bouquet of flowers for god knows who. your group whispered amongst themselves, before nudging you forward. ace grins sheepishly at you, before holding the items out to you. quirking an eyebrow up, you question him. "what's this all about?" with a shaky breath, he answers -

"do you wanna go to the dance with me this friday?"

your friends squeal, obviously taking videos capturing the cute moment. you smile, cheeks warming a shade of red. "of course, ace." you grab the items and wrap your arms around him. he smiled into your shoulder, arms snaking around your back. he felt like he had finally won at life.

the day of the dance had finally come around, leaving ace anxious. does he look good? does he look stupid? why wasn't his hair cooperating, damn it! as he continued to fuss over his appearance, a looming figure crosses over him.

"ace?"

the raven-haired boy shrieks, spinning around. it was that damn old man, garp. he laughs at the younger boy, arms crossed over his chest. ace grumbles, pouting slightly. "can you not sneak up on me? i'm busy right now, grandpa." the older man shakes his head. "what's got you so worked up?" ace brushes through his hair, a soft blush collecting on his face. should he tell him? nah, he'll embarrass him even more -

"ace is going to the dance with his girlfriend." luffy speaks between chewing, a piece of chicken in his hand. "fuck you!" ace barks, stomping away to his room. he can hear garp's boisterous laugh from downstairs, taunting him.

★

"do you really need to drive me to the dance?" ace was currently sitting in the back of garp's car, arms crossed pathetically. garp shakes his head. "no, but i just wanna see yer little girlfriend." he grins, flashing his teeth in the rear view mirror. ace sneers at him. "why? you've met her before, it's [y/n]." garp's eyes widen, grin deepening. "her? that sweet girl? why'd she go as low as you?" ace is about to go off on him, before feeling a buzz in his pocket. snatching his phone out of his pocket, his face lights up at the text displayed.

' meet u there <3 cant wait to see u in ur fit xx '

he melted at your text, responding with a heart. garp looks at the boy through the mirror, smirking. "she textin' you?" ace nods, eyes never leaving his screen.

★

ace hops out of the car, waving goodbye to garp. "bye? i still need to take picture of you two, you're growing up real fast, ace!" grumbling, ace rubs his face. why did he need to keep embarrassing him? "ace, over here!" there it was, that sweet voice. the one he could listen to all day. his head snapped in the other direction, catching you in your dress, jaw dropping. you looked gorgeous.

"ace, go pose with your girlfriend!" garp smacks him on the back, sending him forward. "s-she's not my girlfriend, grandpa!" ace growls, standing next to you reluctantly. garp waltz over, a grin plastered on his bearded face. "you look lovely, [y/n]." you smile, shyly tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "thank you, sir." he chuckles.

"just call me garp, sweetheart."

you blush, watching him position his phone before taking the picture. "you both look great, less ace though."

"whatever, you can go now!" ace ushers him back to the car. "i'll be back to pick you up, see you kids later." he winks at you before finally driving off. ace sighs, relieved, turning back to you. "[y/n]? you okay?" you have a dazed look on your face, a bright red dusting your cheeks. "ace."

"your grandpa is so fucking hot."

his face dropped, eyes widening in horror.

maybe that's why you always wanted to go to ace's house, to see garp, not him.

who knew?

[cipher-zoo]

I solved the question about Buggy's nose....

We all know, that Buggy keeps predicting his own future, right? ["I'm gonna join the four Emperor's" etc.]

And we all know this meme?

That ball looks familiar doesn't it?

In conclusion: Apollo hit Buggy so hart with his dodge ball it got stuck in his face.

[the-villainous-ace]

They are looking respectfully (Luffy still wondering if he needs to wear a bra...)

[generalkiira]

its them!

[zorosleftmantit101]

That ONE thing one piece men do that make you wanna just

Characters: x fem reader

A/N: its 5 in the morning and im feeling silly

C/W: craxk post, swearing

Luffy: doesn't wash his hands like... ever he prolly has like fucking hand Syphilis.

Zoro: leaves weights EVERYWHERE, their not even in reasonable places he'll go to do smth while still holding his weights put it down and "loose" it. You have a notepad of everywhere you have found a weight so-far.

Fridge

Shower??

IN the washing machine

Bed

Under the sink

Kid: will come in after working in his workshop all day covered in grease n shit and just flop down on your fresh clean sheets.

Killer: will roll over crush you and kill you in your sleep ❤️.

Law: he just up and forgets you live with him. like he'll be walking through y'all's house see you and be like "oh hey what are you doing here" and you just give him the most deadass look of "mother fucker I live with you."

Shanks: has bigger tits than you 😡

Buggy: will hear everything as you saying smth about his nose like you could come home and be like "hey buggy im home" and hell get up and be like "did you just call me a big stinky slut with a red nose"

Ace: will wipe shit on you constantly like oh what he got mud on his hand fucking apparently your back makes a good fucking wash cloth

Corazon: nothn the mans perfect... to perfect...... your issue with Corazon is that he's too perfect.

Crocodile: just fucking sandstorms away when he doesn't want to do smth. "Hey croc could you grab me a drink of.." *sandstorms away*

Doflamingo: Is a hoe

Mihawk: man scares the shit out of you. You'll walk into y'all's room and he'll be sitting and reading in silence and just be like "hello" makes you jump so bad the whore doesn't even apologise either.

Marco: will just fly away randomly

Katakuri: has just picked you up off the ground turned and put you down out of his way. What? Your in the fridge getting a snack? Nope 🤗 your ass is now being picked up and moved out of katakuris way.

[shanksxbuggy]

film blue is where buggy gets hitched to shanks and gets to be uta’s new step-dad

[ooffmlsorry]

Wildin' out this morning...I just KNOW irl Law would have Pete Davidson eyes

[bby-deerling]

"...the MIHAWK system. that, my friends, is the key to winning any girl's heart."

[sanjisblackasswife]

Here’s some text that remind me of OP Men:

Shanks

Sanji @ me fr

Zoro

Ace also

Franky @ Robin

Luffy

Benny (and Sanji) @ Me