#you’re not a bad person unless you choose to keep being one

[sticks-and-souls]

I love that star wars tells us time and time and time again that the only thing a person needs in order to make amends is the desire to. And if you want it enough to work for it, then there’s a place for you to bring good back into the world.

Emerie and Rampart in TBB finale both had opportunities to switch sides the only difference between them is that Emerie wanted it and Rampart didn’t. And the narrative treated them accordingly. And rather than treating Emerie like the evils she did were the only thing that would ever define her, Echo said “fine, if you want to help, then help” and those kids got out of there because of her.

[lexisecretaccx]

Good little Girl - Matt Sturniolo

(Fem reader x Matt Sturniolo, smutty, use of nicknames, suggestive, kissing, oral fem!receiving, Dom!Matt, idk)

Summary: reader and Matt just hooked up but he doesn’t want it to be just a one time thing and she learns a secret about him…

I stand off the bed and start to get back into my outfit, my mini skirt and tight shirt. “What are you doing?” He groans as he leans up on his elbows. I turn to him now standing just in my underwear, “I’m leaving, isn’t that what you do on a one night stand?” I ask continuing to pull up my skirt, he gets out of bed and walks towards me.

He grabs my hand that is pulling up my skirt and pulls into his chest, “I don’t want you to leave.” He spoke hardly and spun me around to face him, his hands trail down my shoulders, arms and onto my waist.

“But why..” his hand comes up and tugs on my bottom lip, he pulls me in closer, “please.. be a good girl.” He spoke softly in a tone that caused butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

“Okay.” I say quietly, and step out of the skirt I was previously putting on. He keeps my hand held and pulls me back to the bed “I can’t do it again, it was amazing but I’m all fucked out right now..” I breathe out as we sit on the bed, “no.. I want to lay with you.” He spoke as he pulled me on top of him to straddle him, his hand comes up the the side of my face.

“Did you think I only wanted to fuck you and never see you again?” He asks me his hands rest on my hips, I shrug. “You have security guards in your house and you live in a mansion.. I thought you’d only want a one night stand.” I say and I lay down on top of him, getting into a comfortable.

“Im sorry I gave you that impression, I’m not all bad.” His hand finds place on the back of my head. “What do you do.. for work? Because at the party you had a bodyguard looking guy next to you.” I ask as I pull the covers over me and him.

He sighs, “I can’t tell you that sweetheart.” I move off of him and look at him, “why not?” I say in an annoyed tone. “Fine.. but please be a good girl and listen to what I say, don’t be scared.” He sits up before pulling my face in and gently kissing my lips, “okay.” I nod.

“I’m not a good person, I hurt people.. not you of course but people who deserve it.” He breathes in, studying my face for my response. “What do you mean? You seem like a good guy to me.” I tilt my head at him. He chuckles, “I’m a good guy to you.. I wouldn’t hurt you but other people deserve it.” I watch his composure shift to that of nervousness.

“What other people?” I continue to question him. “People who owe me things.. and people who hurt my loved ones.” He studied my face for any sense of fear, instead my eyes widen in excitement.

“So you’re like a loan shark?” I speak excitedly, loving the rush of hooking up with someone with such authority. “Not exactly sweetheart,” he breathes in, “I have many aspects to my job but that’s not a major one.” He leaned into my ear to whisper something. “I’m Matthew.. Sturniolo.” That last name rang through my ears.

Sturniolo.. as in the Mafia bosses, people who run the town from behind the scenes, picking and plucking anyone they choose. There’s three of them, their names always kept hidden but as I recall from news arcticles they’re brothers.

“I hooked up with a Mafia guy?” I whisper the last part of the sentence, he nods and I stand up. “Oh my god, does that mean I’m your property now?” I say in panic but a still a slight hint of excitement, he’s a gorgeous man with a protected house and a stable sense of income, on the plus side if anyone fucks with me he will kill them.

I need to not think about what I could gain from being with him, that’s selfish. I lean against the wall, placing my hand in my hair, trying to figure out what I’ve just learnt about my ‘one night stand’ “No of course not, I don’t own you. Not unless..” he walks up to me and lifts my chin with his large hand, “you want me to?” He pulls my mouth in and our lips connect softly.

I hum into the kiss, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck, something about him just makes me melt.. he’s got this appeal, maybe it’s the nicknames or the fact he’s a mafia boss but I’m drawn to him.

He lifts me up from my thighs and holds me, this only deepens the kiss before I pull away to speak “I want you to own me, I want you to use me.. I think I just want you.” I whisper, lust filling my senses. “Be careful what you wish for darling.” He spoke as he threw me down onto the bed, causing me to yelp.

“Can you be my good little girl and do what I say?” He leans down smirking, I nod quickly. “Words.” He spoke. “Yes I will..” I reply, filled with excitement and my stamina feels refuelled just from his kiss and touch.

He removes my panties and unclasps my bra, before removing his underwear too, revealing the large cock that I, not long ago, had inside of me. This time I feel even more sexually attracted to him due to his power.

“Such a pretty pussy.” He spoke as he dipped down between my legs, before I could reply he started swirling his tongue around my already wet entrance. I moan out loudly, his tongue slips inside of my hole causing me to arch my back. “Fuck..” I squeal before looking down at him, staring up at me with a seductive look in his eyes.

He sucks on my clit softly, elicting whimpers and curses from my lips. I already feel myself clench due to the pleasure, “fuck I’m gonna cum..” I breathe out between moans.

He hums before dipping his tongue into my entrance again, his nose hitting my swollen bulb just right. My back arches further and I tangle my hands in his hair. My thighs close around his head as I feel my climax reaching closer. “F-fuck.” I scream out as I feel my arousal leaking out of my entrance onto his slightly bearded face.

He forces my thighs open, which are still shaking and lifts his head, my juices around his lips. “Taste yourself..” he swipes some arousal from off his lips, onto his fingers and pushes the fingers into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around his fingers before he removes them from my mouth. “Good girl.” He praises.

He pulls me closer to him before lining his tip up with my sensitive entrance, before giving me a chance to breathe he pushes into me harshly. I grip onto the sheets as he pounds into me roughly, maintaining eye contact. He pushes his forehead to mine, staring deeply into my eyes as he fucks into me. I bite my lip due to pleasure and a weird mix of pain, a good pain.

My core fuzzes again as he repeatedly hits my g-spot with his large member. “Fuck you feel so good around my cock.” He groans, I can’t reply as my eyes roll back into my head and the pleasure grows as I feel myself clench around him, causing his hips to jut forward. “Cum for me darling.” He breathes out, his forehead still pressed against mine.

His pupils dilate even further as both of our orgasms reach closer. “Fuck.” I yell out as I come undone, him following shortly, releasing his cum inside of me, as I had previously mentioned I was on the pill the first time we fucked.

He removes his cock from inside of my hole, leaving me feeling slightly empty. “I’m tired.” I whine. “Let’s sleep then.” He cleans me up and moves me under the blankets before sliding in next to me. “So what am I to you now then? I don’t wanna be a fuck doll or anything.” I lean into him.

“No of course you’re not a fuck doll.” He laughs before pulling me to face him and look him in the eyes.

“You’re my good little girl.” He smirks, “shut up.” I turn around pouting, “let me take you to dinner, I’ll show you what you are to me then.” He leans on my arm and brushes the hair out my face.

“Okay,” I sigh and smile slightly, “why me?” I ask and confusion fills his face. “Why did you pick me?” I ask again, he wraps his arms around me, “I could tell you were a genuine person. You were the only one at the party who wasn’t intimidated by me, you seemed innocent.” He smirks, “I was wrong about that.. you’re not so innocent.”

“I wasn’t intimidated because I didn’t know you were the mafia guy, I don’t even remember why I was invited to the party.” I shrug and nuzzle my head in to his chest, “I wanted you to come.” He whispers and I turn my head to face him quickly, “what?” I ask.

“I saw you, at the restaurant.. you were waiting a table and that big guy tried to intimidate you into giving him a discount and you argued back.. you weren’t scared of him, so I told my men to give you an invite to the party so I could get to know you better.” He looks at the ceiling above him, his arm still around me.

“The guy was tryna use his size to intimidate me.. I knew he wasn’t gonna do anything,” I say and he looks at me to show he’s listening. “You definitely got to know me a lot better..” I chuckle, looking at us laying in the bed naked together.

“I just felt like I needed you, that man was one of my rivals.. he verbally abuses women and I hate it so seeing one of them fight back made me drawn to you.” He stroked the side of my face, “you have me now.” I smile.

He smirks back at me and nods, “let’s sleep.. I’ll show you around in the morning.” He spoke quietly as he turns down the light, “okay.” I breath out on his bare chest.

I start to doze off before I get woken up slightly by him, “I’m so proud of how well you took my dick.” He whispered in my ear.

“Such a good girl.” He coos in my ear, stroking my hair before we both fall back to sleep.

A/n: I wanted to write more one shots since I haven’t in a while! This was fun and refreshing to write. I love papi Matt. Mafia Matt though 😍😏 ALSO IM ALMOST AT 500 FOLLOWERS TY YALL ILYYYYYY❤️

Taglist: @blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @sturniologurl4l2008 @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosmind @fratbrochrisgf @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @stingerayyy2 @freshsturns @riasturns @sturniololvrrr @maryx2xx @whicked-hazlatwhore

[webslingingslasher]

taylor swift song request lesgooo!!! end game from reputation where y/n has a really big reputation as a 'bad girl' and peter (good boy loml) ends up tutoring her, and sees she isn't all bad...

first off, i am so sorry this took so long, you may not even be on my page anymore, but this struck something in me & i couldn't stop.

second, i switched up the request a little because if you listen to the song, (in a non snooty way lmao) taylor is the one expressing she wants to be with this person but she has a bad repuation and everyone's heard about it, and it's a lot to commit to because of the talk surrounding her.

---------

Everyone had it wrong. 

You were good. And kind. And smart. And talented. And confused. And lost. And just like every other kid in the school. You were good. You stayed to yourself. You didn’t gossip. You didn’t judge. You didn’t tattle. You were good. 

So why did everyone hate you so much? 

It was your brother’s fault. His reputation preceded yours and it ruined everything for you. 

He was the one that picked fights. 

He was the one that pushed teachers to the limits. 

He’s the one that sold dope from his locker. 

He’s the one that hooked up with a girl in the teacher's lounge. 

And the third floor bathroom. 

And the girls locker room.

And underneath the bleachers.

He’s the one that made everyone think you were just alike. 

It ruined everything about high school so far. 

Jokes, rumors, lost friendships, people refusing to date you. 

It was childish and unfair. You wanted one person on your side, the one person you watched in class, the one person that was nice to you in a school of jekyll’s. And you couldn’t have him. 

“Hey, still coming later?” 

Peter Parker had a smile that could make the devil buckle. He was sugar, spice and everything nice. Long time crush, but the part where you’ve been smeared into a good for nothing whore, made nothing possible. 

“You sure you still wanna do this? I don’t mind asking Mrs. Stu-” 

Peter called your name like you were telling a joke, “it’s my honor to tutor you! Don’t blow me off.” 

You want to protect him. You like him too much. He hangs around you long enough and accusations with his name start flying around with yours. 

“If you’re so desperate,” grinning brightly, “I’ll see you later.” 

Peter was so kind to tutor you. Your teacher asked on your behalf, she said she thought you’d be a good pair and you couldn’t deny the extra help, too bad Peter had to be the one on the chopping block. He was being a good samaritan and you knew what it would cause for him, even with the alone time you’ve been craving, you’d keep him pushed away at all costs. 

You didn’t want the fallout to burn him, you’re used to the sting and he’s someone that shouldn’t feel anything but a loving touch. 

Even if it would kill you, you’d have to pretend to be disinterested in Peter Parker and watch him walk away. 

Oh, the things you do for love.

—------------

You’ve never felt so paranoid in your life. You swore everyone was looking at you, or maybe they were looking at Peter. Telling themselves it seemed fit that a nerd would be trying his shot with the school whore, because it’s not like you’d say no. 

“Hi, can I sit?” Peter pointed at the patch of grass next to you, your eyes squinted as you looked up at him, it was hard reading his expression. You were the shade but he was standing under the sun, everything was washed out and too bright. 

“Um, here?” you pointed at the same spot, taking a chance to look around, you felt eyes all over you. “Yeah, I mean, unless you want me here?” He pointed at a patch on the other side of you, “or here,” gesturing next to your feet, “you know what? You choose, I’m the guest.” 

He’s so nice. Gentle, even. You hadn’t experienced someone so kind, so golden hearted, in a minute. His kindness shouldn’t be his weakness or his downfall. With one last scope of the scene you assume he could stay for a moment, at least you could figure out where to meet later. 

You give Peter a smile and pat the first spot he pointed out, “you can sit,” answering his original question. His backpack hit the ground first, jimming himself closer to the tree behind you to rest his back on. Peter’s fingers picked pieces of grass, you assume in boredom. 

“So,” you both speak at the same time, a soft exhaling laugh at the symmetry. You wave Peter along, the sooner he gets it out the sooner he can leave, the quicker he is with you the less he’ll be attacked. 

“Wanna meet at the library?” 

And have everyone see? Have his reputation smeared like your own? There’s a reason you don’t have many people around you, you can’t believe he doesn’t see it.

“No,” he’s taken a bit back by your blunt tone. Peter hums low, “your place?” 

You scoff, “absolutely not.” 

There’s no other option then, “alright, my place it is. Wanna come with me after school? We could take the bus, unless you prefer the subway.” 

God, there’s nothing in the world you want more. It was too dangerous, if you got close enough it’d be too hard to rip it away. If you were seen leaving school with him, going to his house with him, it’d be over for him. You would give him the mark of cain. 

It hurts more than you’d like to admit, you take your turn at plucking small weeds, avoiding his face. He’s hard to say no to. 

“I can’t. But, I’ll come over tonight.” 

You hate how happy he sounded when he answered, it was so unfair. You were a good kid, your brother was the bad one, but you dealt with all the repercussions. Your heart felt so weighed down, you wanted nothing more to reach out and hold Peter’s hand. 

You wanted a boyfriend. 

You wanted a friend. 

You wanted love. 

You wanted to feel accepted and heard and validated and supported by one person. 

But you couldn’t have him. 

“Cool. Wanna give me your number?” It’d be better than talking in person, easier to keep him away from you unless absolutely necessary. You nod, finally looking at him when you hand over your phone, he’s got a giant smile and you have to look back down at a patch of weeds with a single dandelion poking from it. 

“Yours?” 

Peter’s fingers brush yours when he hands his over, a warm jolt spreads down your wrist and into your elbow. It makes you feel alive, it’s a welcomed feeling. You try to forget it immediately. 

His screen is cracked and scratchy as you type your number in, feeling him watch over your face you scan the crowd of people. You swear you see someone pointing, you shove his phone back in his hand, scrambling to stand. 

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way, I have to go.” 

He’s not allowed to care this much. It’s unfair. 

“You don’t want to have lunch with me? I have half a sandwich if you want it, I know we only have like, ten minutes left but if you want it, it’s yours.” 

‘If you want it, it’s yours.’

Does he mean it? Is there a limit to what could be yours? 

Too bad you’ll never know. 

“Thank you, but I can’t.” He almost looks disappointed, you have to stop making things up. 

“You sure? I don’t mind sharing with you.” 

You do. He can’t suffer the same consequences you do, it’s too isolating. Lonely. You were lonely. He doesn’t deserve it. 

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll see you later, Peter.” 

Peter takes his time unwrapping his homemade sandwich from cellophane, he takes a bite from half and moans, outstretching his hand with the other half, still wrapped up. “Here, take it to go. My aunt made it, if you try hard enough you can taste the love.” 

He’s god damn irresistible. 

You take his gift, slowly backing away, “thanks, I’ll search for it.” 

Peter’s smile hurts your eyes, “good, it isn’t hard to find.” He’s adorable, even when he’s wrong. 

It must be his superpower. 

—-------------------

Peter’s aunt was two things. 

A lot, and very kind. 

You can see where Peter gets his aggressive pleasantry from, the moment she opened the door she was eager to please you. May wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug, her voice cheery in your ear.

“Oh my goodness, it is so nice to put a face to the name.” 

Politely patting her back you swallow thickly, she’s heard all about you and your make believe history. She’s kind but you know in the back of her mind she’s hoping you’d leave her nephew alone, get what you need from him and leave. 

“Nice meeting you too, you make a killer sandwich, by the way.” 

She gasps, pushing you away by your shoulders, moving her head to catch her eyes. An unfamiliar smile crosses her face, you don’t know what it means but it feels as welcoming and radiant as Peter’s. 

“Oh, good! He shared.” 

May said it like it was planned, like she could tell you were confused she broke your attention away. “I made cookies, because everyone knows you need sugar to help you focus.” A wink, she was so gentle, it’s something about those Parker’s. 

You play along, it’s nice to be welcomed for once. Even if it’s until you’re gone, the moment she tells Peter she knows all about you and to keep his distance. 

“I think I read a story on that once, nine out of ten dentists agree, right?” 

And just for a moment you let yourself dream, floating on your imaginary high of Peter Parker when his aunt laughs at your joke, her smile slowly dimming while she looks at your face, deep in thought. A confident head nod. 

“Peter was right about you.” 

You should take it negatively, but you don’t. There’s something about her that tells you she only means well. It must mean she hasn’t heard the bad things, but once she does, she’d be eating her words. 

But damn, if you aren’t curious about what Peter said. Was he nice, did he hint at a crush, did he make his aunt believe you were someone you’re not? 

“Peter was right about what?” 

The devil himself appeared from nowhere, his body standing next to yours, so closely you can feel hints of his cotton zip up hoodie brushing your arms. You closed your eyes to breathe slowly, the sight of him with his hands flat on the kitchen counter, leaning his weight into the laminate, his hoodie strings dangling in a tempting way. 

In a way you want to pull him closer by them, curling the fabric around your fingers and tugging him until his mouth is on yours. 

You’re easy to read, you can see it on May’s face the second you open your eyes. You know in an instant she knows that you like her nephew. Even more surprisingly, she looks excited with the knowledge. 

Her eyes flicker back to her nephew, “how lovely you said our guest was, what else did you say?” 

You can see Peter freeze, “May,” it’s a warning tone. His aunt bulldozes, “wasn’t it something about how pr-” You don’t know what she says, Peter speaks over her. “May!” Jumping in your spot, caught off guard by his sudden tone and volume change, Peter moves a hand to your arm, “sorry,” it was delicate, it was him saying he was only sorry towards you, sorry for catching you off guard. 

Fighting past his numbing touch, you smile, “it’s okay, I didn’t know you could be so stern.” 

You need to see a therapist, because you swear you shared a moment. “Only when it’s something I’m passionate about.” 

He’s talking about you, he has to be. You want him to be. 

You have no idea how you’ll keep yourself from tying to him. But you’ll give it a fighting chance. 

“You know what I’m passionate about?” Peter shakes his head, it’s hard to look away from his eyes, you never knew brown eyes could be so pretty. But you do, attention directed to fresh made chocolate chip cookies. 

“Cookies.” 

Peter won’t let you off that easy, “what kind?” 

You bounce different flavors over in your head, “you’re opening pandora's box, parker. I mean, are we talking grocery store, homemade, or bakery?” 

His arms crossed over his chest, “well, now I need to know every answer.” 

You blow out a breath like you’re about to compete in the olympics, “alright, off the shelf grocery, you can’t go wrong with double stuffed oreos. But, personally, those keebler elves, with the fudge? I love em, my mom stopped buying them cause I’d eat half the pack in one sitting, so now my dad sneaks them to me. But, I mean, you can’t go wrong with those little bakery sugar cookies, you know, the ones that stick to the roof of your mouth?” 

Peter bites back a grin, you weren’t lying, you really were passionate. 

“I know what ones you’re talking about, they’re gross.” It’s the most offensive thing he could say to you. “You’re wrong, but okay.” He laughs, “opinions can’t be wrong,” you pull your head back, “they absolutely can, yours is proof.” 

You look for support from his aunt but she’s long gone, you didn’t even see her back away. 

Peter rolls his hand, amping you on, “homemade?” 

You spit the answer quickly, “butterscotch oatmeal.” He’s never heard of them, or tasted them, but if you love them, he thinks he would too. “You’ll have to bring me some to try, they sound tempting.” Agreeing with him, “you’d never go back.” 

“Bakery?” 

“That’s the tricky one, it’s a rare find, not every place has them. But it’s my all time favorite flavor of anything ever made, s’mores.” 

Peter loves it, your favorite treat was s’mores and it fit you. 

His personal mission was tracking one down and bringing it to you. 

“S’mores? Really?” 

You nod, “really, really. If you find one you’ll have to try it, unless you have another wrong opinion and don’t like s’mores.” 

“Nah, I love s’mores.” 

Peter Parker was too good of a person to bring down. You need to shut down your admiration, because his alienation would hurt the most. 

—---------------------

This wasn’t good. No, this was bad. This was really bad. 

Peter Parker just called open season on himself and it was all your fault. 

You should’ve refused for him to be your tutor, that was the mistake. The moment it was agreed upon it was over. You should’ve never gone over to his house, if you hadn't then you would’ve never told him about your favorite cookie, and he wouldn’t have gotten you one. 

It happened in third period, he approached your seat and set a small white box in front of you. Your eyes flickered from the box to him several times before you asked, “what’s this?” A gift, you knew that much, he’s given you a gift and Jeffery Stewart was watching it go down. Peter would have an hour until he was tied to you. 

“Open it,” slowly opening the cardboard your heart skips three beats, once for each cookie. You’ve never felt so seen, dare you even say loved? He listened, that’s what it was. He listened to you and he tracked them down and presented them to you, he was proud. 

Peter Parker has made everything about your current life harder. 

“Oh my god, where did you find these?” 

He shakes his head, like it doesn’t matter where he sourced them, what matters is that he did. 

“You were right, they’re hard to track down, it took me three days. Surprisingly, they’re mostly seasonal.” 

You tsk, contemplating tearing one in half right now. “It’s so wrong, isn’t it? I mean, you can buy s’mores stuff all year long, so it doesn’t make sense.” Fuck it, it’s selfish, but he went above and beyond. 

Splitting a cookie, you hand half over, cheersing yours with his. You throw your head back and hum the second you bite down, they’re the best ones you’ve ever had. You weren’t sure if it was because they were that good, or because it felt like they were purchased with care. 

“Holy shit, Peter. These are unearthly.”

He’s in the same boat, he can understand why they’re your favorite now. 

Nodding excessively, “my world has changed for the better.” 

“Yeah, mine too.” It was a slip, you didn’t mean to say it. It came out without thinking, you said it sincerely, and he knows it. Peter finished the rest of his cookie and licked his thumb, “good, I’m glad to hear it.” 

This was bad. This was very bad. 

Because Peter Parker lays his hand on your desk and leans in, really closely, it makes you stop functioning all together. He needs to leave, he needs to back away, he needs to leave you alone. He doesn’t know what he's doing to himself, but you’re too selfish to stop it. 

Even with Jeffery Stewart staring you down like a dog in heat, a wicked grin spreads while he ropes over the many rumors he’s about to flood the halls with. 

“Wanna come over tonight?” 

Lost in a world of a million thoughts, all of them being about the distance from his lips to yours. Blinking back to attention you groan, “I don’t really feel like studying tonight, my brain is mush.” 

Peter nods, then moves in, just an inch closer, you feel like you’re about to die. 

“Not what I asked.” 

“I don’t-” 

“I asked if you wanted to come over, not if you wanted to study.” 

The room is spinning, everything is a blur. He’s flirting, Peter Parker is flirting with you in front of an audience. He’s fearless, it’s impressive. There’s no way he doesn’t know about your reputation, the things people say about you, the things you do. 

Suddenly, a chill creeps up your spine. What if he knows exactly what people say, what if that’s why he’s being sweet, what if that’s why he’s acting like he cares? Fuck it, you’ll call him out on his bullshit, but privately, you don’t need any extra attention. 

“Sure. Same time?” 

“Same time,” it’s set in stone when the bell rings, Peter knocks his knuckles on your desk before he walks away. It’s unfair how much you hate to see him pull away from you.

—------------------

The upside to being cynical is that when things don’t work out, like you plan, you’re not that hurt, because you called it the whole time. 

Just like Peter, you knew the second it circled back to him he’d be gone. It proved to be true when you heard mumbles by your locker, eyes flicking to you and back, quicker whispers shared. 

From what you’ve gathered, either Peter has seen your nipple piercings or he’s given you nipple piercings. Not that you had them, but that didn’t matter. What now mattered was that Peter was directly tied to you and your boobs were involved, that’s enough alone for him to get a clap on the back while you’re being shamed for even acknowledging your body autonomy. 

What a lame rumor, Jeffery Stewart could’ve gone to the moon with theories but this was the one he settled on? Usually he was a bit more creative, his last one ended up with you and the guidance counselor in the principal's office informing you that it was a safe space, and that if the school’s janitor came onto you it wasn’t your fault. 

It took three weeks for people to totally forget it, but those few weeks you’d hear claps and wolf whistles when you passed by the janitor's closet made you feel like you were on the constant verge of vomiting. 

Usually it wouldn’t bother you, but once they involved Peter’s name you felt sick. Everything you feared itching to life, and right when you heard a third possibility you couldn’t stay silent, slamming your locker door shut and giving wild eyes to the girl talking to her friend on your right. 

“Which one is it, Lindsey? Was he holding my hand while I got them done, did he see them, or did he do them? I don’t know about you, but if I heard three totally different versions of a story I’d question the authenticity of the claim.” 

It didn’t matter who was watching, you couldn’t hold it in.

You felt like you were on fire, you could see her sputter, like she didn’t expect you to call her out. You felt like the walls were closing in on you, she didn’t start the rumor but she was helping it spread and she was the closest person you could explode on. 

“C’mon, Lindsey. Which one? I want to hear your side, unless you think it went down a totally different way. What? Scared to talk?” 

Your throat’s closing, you can’t stop, you step closer, you shout at her. 

“Which one, Lindsey!” The hall was dead silent, for the first time you had no cares about who was looking. 

Her shoes squeak as she backs up, her eyes wide and blinking, a flash of terror, it makes you want to squeeze her and shake her, try to get her to understand this was what it felt like to be you.

“Fucking answer me!” Your voice cracked, she whimpered, fat tears falling. 

“None! I don’t believe any of them!” 

She doesn’t. You can see it written all over her face, she was just talking to talk, knowing you could hear every word she produced. It just made you feel sad. 

“You can hunt other women as much as you want, Lindsey. But the collusion doesn’t save you from the same hunt.” 

Lindsey nods, like she understands. But you know she doesn’t, you know she’ll keep being the same, until they turn on her, and then she’ll wonder why no one stands up for her and how anyone could believe the jargon they say about her. And on that day, you’d be nodding with the crowd. 

—-------------

If Peter told his aunt about today she had an excellent poker face. Because she was more than happy seeing you when she opened the door, hugging you close before she could even shut it.

“Hi, sweetheart! How are you doing?” Politely hugging back, you talk back in her ear. “Hi, Ms. Parker, I’m good, how are you?” A squeeze before you’re released, her hands warm on your shoulders. 

“Oh, please, just call me May. Did Peter give you the cookies?” 

You nod while biting back a grin, she might have a clue for how you feel about her nephew but you’re not announcing it either. “Good,” she’s got something in her that makes you feel like she’s more of a wingwoman than aunt. 

“Peter’s in his room, I won’t be back until late, are you sleeping over?” 

You feel off balance for a second. May’s leaving you and Peter alone, for several hours, and then suggests you’ll be spending the night. She really is a wingwoman. It makes you second guess everything Peter might have told her, it’s clear she can see your mental gymnastics when she pats your arm. 

“He said you guys are gonna hang out, maybe watch some movies. I just meant, will I be surprised if I come home to you two cuddled up somewhere.” 

Is she saying not to fuck in the common areas?

“Are you saying-” 

“Keep it in his room.” 

Mortified. She must assume the worst out of you, you’ve only met her twice and her thought was that the second you were alone you’d be fuck bunnies. To be fair, Peter is really attractive. She can tell how embarrassed she’d made you and she’s quick to jump over it. 

“No accusations and no shaming. I’d just rather be clear to both of you. Peter had a worse conversation, be glad.” 

You take that as her permission, and that she likes you. She has to, she just implied she’d be cool if you and Peter hooked up. Even if the world hated you, having her approval made you feel like you had someone to impress again. 

“Okay, I understand and accept the rules and boundaries of your home.” 

May laughs, hooking her purse over her shoulder she pats your arm again. “You’re a good kid, don’t forget that.” 

And that made you want to curl up and cry, you haven’t had unprompted support like that in years. It worked, because you’d never, not once, cross any boundary of her’s. In fact, after that? You’d die protecting hers. 

“Thanks, May. See you later.” 

A wink, “See you later, honey.” 

You took a second to breathe, and look over yourself in the mirror before approaching Peter’s door. Knocking for a second and opening it when he answered, he spun one eighty in his desk chair, a blur of blue plaid until he settled. 

Before he had a chance to speak you did, “did your aunt give us permission to have sex, or am I tripping?” 

Peter’s grin dimmed, he looked to his closet doors while his cheeks tinged pink. “I promise you, whatever she said to you, is nowhere near as bad as my talk.” 

“She mentioned that, was it all about the ins and outs of pleasuring a woman?” 

Peter’s avoiding eye contact, you came here to tell him he should keep his space but watching him shrink under your questions made you feel powerful. Each blush he gives makes you want to dig in further. 

He more or less shrugs, it’s a damn bold line, you don’t even know what you're saying until it comes out in full. 

“Tell me, Parker, could you please me?” 

Seconds tick, you can hear it on his clock, finally he looks at your face. Any trace of a blush fallen, it makes you feel choked. 

“I’m not sure, but I’d love to find out.” 

Panic. He’s not supposed to say that, he’s supposed to back down. You’re supposed to back him down.

Peter can’t go down this road and it’s your job to block his path, but you can’t stop yourself from moving out of his way. 

“I mean, since you already know about the nipple piercings…” you trail your words, expecting a sneer. Instead he laughs, a full on body laugh, it makes you smile, just the pure happiness radiating from him. 

For once a rumor is just something you can laugh about. 

“Psh, of course I knew about them. I mean, isn’t that the third time you’ve had them?” 

It was. You didn’t realize it but that was the third time the rumor was reused. You didn’t notice but he did, did he notice all the other ones too? All the ones that stated how bad you were? Did it even matter if he believed them, you didn’t think so, at least not at this point, you just didn’t want him to suffer the same fate. 

Peter pats the top of his bed, “take a seat,” your stomach lurches, the thought of being in his bed enough to ignite you in flames. His aunt said keep it in his room and he’s luring you right in, your palms feel like they’re sweating. If he heard all the rumors about you sleeping around and thought you were like that, he was about to be disappointed. 

Holding your eyes shut and squeezing fists you rush the words out, the quicker said the quicker this would be over. 

“I’m a virgin!” 

Instead, he looked utterly confused, looking around his room like he was trying to figure out where the explosion came from. Settling on a low release of words, his eyebrows furrowed in, “so am I?” 

Just to be clear, “I’m not looking to change that tonight, so if that’s why you wanted-” 

“No!” Peter almost slips on the floor he stands so quick, “that’s not at all why I wanted, I just thought…” He doesn’t know how to say it, he almost said he thought you needed a friend, but that could be offensive, or worse, he’d be friendzoning himself for you. 

“Thought what, I’d be an easy piece? Cause I know you’ve hea-” 

“I asked Mrs. Sturgis if I could tutor you!” 

You stop talking, his words looping in your brain. That doesn’t make sense, because if he did ask then that means he wanted to tutor you, that means there was a deeper meaning, that means when his aunt said he talked about you it went further than what was said at school. 

“Please,” he pleaded your name, “come sit? Just for a second.” 

You follow his command and sit on the edge of his bed, watching Peter pace as he combs his hands through his hair. He’s nervous. 

“I don’t know how to talk to you, my brain is just… you make me really nervous.” 

“Why did you ask to tutor me?” 

Peter stops moving to look at you, it was easier to answer when you asked. 

“So I could talk to you.” 

It’s a start, “why?” 

“I just wanted you to trust me. I hear what everyone says, and I don’t believe a word of it, but I didn’t want you to think I was asking for the wrong reasons, or making a joke out of you.” 

Your face scrunches, “you thought, I’d think, that you asking to tutor me, directly, would be a joke?” 

Peter shakes his head, sitting back in his chair and taking a second to answer you. 

“No, I think if I asked you out on a date you’d think it was a joke.” 

You laugh, “well, yeah… It’s not like you…” 

Except he does, and you can see it all over his face. He really, really does. With the new knowledge you don’t know how to act, suddenly aware Peter Parker sees you in a different light. He doesn’t see you as his student, he sees you as a potential mate. 

You only know fight or flight, and your flight option was crawling further up his bed, backing away until your back hit the wall, a dull thump produced. You give a barely audible, “ow,” your brain racing with thoughts, trying to catch up with his admittance. 

“You okay?” 

You’re thankful he can’t see you, the top bunk perfectly cutting your head from his viewpoint. 

“Peachy,” you can barely speak. 

“Cool, cause it seemed like you kinda freaked when I implied I wanted to ask you out.” 

You nibble on your thumbnail, “implied or asking?” 

“I’d rather ask when I can see you.” 

How is he so calm, he was the one that was just pacing the floor talking about how nervous he was. Now he’s a smooth talker.

“Is that why you asked to tutor me? So you could ask me out?” 

“Maybe, but you also need a tutor.” 

Rude. Fair, but rude. 

“So, you like me?” 

You wish you could see the smile he has, you know he has one, you can hear it in his laugh. 

“What would give you that impression?” 

You shrug, but he can’t see. “I don’t know, you’re not nervous anymore.” 

“I don’t have to be, the girl I like likes me too.” 

You gasp, you’ve said no such thing! There was absolutely nothing to base his accusation off of. You mock his words. 

“What would give you that impression?” 

Another laugh, you wish you could see that laugh. But once you emerge it’s over, it means he’s signed his life away to be with you. An act of selflessness you didn’t know was possible. 

“Look at yourself, you’re hiding cause you’re petrified to be asked out.” 

“No, I’m not. I’m protecting you, cause if you don’t ask, you won’t be ridiculed.” 

You imagine he looks offended, because he sounds it. 

“Do you think I give a shit what anyone thinks?”

“It’s isolating, Peter. I’d feel like I’d bring you down, and you don’t deserve that.” You take a breath, “you’re very kind, and I really like that.” 

“You’re kind too, and smart, and really, very, pretty. And I think once you have a boyfriend and a friend group, things won’t be so bad and everyone will forget why they teased you.” 

You hum, playing with your nails and chewing at your bottom lip, silence took over. It was a rush of a lot of emotions, you’re shocked and excited. You’re also panicked and jittery. It was everything you feared and wished for at once. 

Peter Parker is asking to be in your life, no matter the cost. 

That’s the bravest thing you’ve ever witnessed. 

Clearing your throat, “who would be my boyfriend?” 

Peter pretended to think about it, “you could have whoever you want.” 

“Anything you want, it’s yours.” An immediate flashback to the first day he sat with you, you mumbled out the words and scooted, just an inch, from the wall. 

“What was that?” 

You announce it, moving forward another inch, “anything you want, it’s yours. You said that at lunch the first day you sat with me, do you still mean it?” 

There’s just something you’ve been dying to do, something you’ve been wanting to do. And he said whatever you wanted. 

“Whatever you want, I mean it.” He sounds sincere too, you move forward a few inches. 

“Have you kissed anyone before?” 

Peter doesn’t understand the correlation but he’ll entertain it. “Yes?” 

You offer up more information, hoping he’d catch the hint. “I haven’t.” 

He doesn’t. “That’s no biggie, I think over half the school-” 

You speak over him, “but, I want to.” 

It takes Peter a second to register it, and when he does he almost collapses. 

“Oh. I see. Um, want me to come in there, or you come out here?” 

Your heart races, he’s so willing to do whatever with no qualms, you just asked and he’s delivering. You were about to have your first kiss with your number one crush, and he liked you too. 

“Wait, you’re gonna do it?” You’ve never been so excited. Or anxious. Were these the butterflies people talk about? 

“I’m sorry, did I read that wrong?” 

“No, you’re just… right now?” You think you’ll puke all over him, that’s why you’re stalling. 

You can see Peter drum his fingers over his pants, “do you wanna hold off for a second? I’ll do it whenever you want.” 

Your heart clenches, “Peter,” you groan out his name, “stop being so nice, it hurts.” Waiting a moment before continuing, “I’m gonna suck, and you won’t like me anymore.” 

God, you wish you could see the cocky grin smear, you can hear it, but you want to face him more than anything. It’s like he’s doing it on purpose. He knows you can’t stay hidden forever. 

“Wanna bet?” 

Why not? If you really think about the last year and change of high school, what else would you really have to lose? 

Plus, he was really cute. 

Overwhelmed with the knowledge of knowing you were about to have your first kiss, you slowly shimmied to the edge of the bed, right where you were before you hightailed it backwards. 

Peter looks even better than you’ve pictured, his hair fluffy from where he ran his hands through it. A greeting smile rested on him, and his bright brown eyes warmed. “Well, hello there, I was afraid you got lost.” 

Sucking the life force from your bravery, “I was told there would be kisses out here.” 

A surprised look crossed Peter before he fell back into neutral, pushing off his desk to glide over in front of you, his knees knocking yours, suddenly you feel panicky again. “There absolutely can be.” 

Peter catches your nerves and figures it’d be easier to actually get it over with, because the second he would pull away all panic would hit near bottom ground. Using what little skill he has, he rests his right hand on your thigh while his left cups your face. 

You suck in a breath, following his guide when he brings your face up to his. Peter swipes his thumb across your cheekbone and you feel everything in you be set ablaze with desire. 

You wonder if he can feel how warm your cheek is under his touch, if he does, he doesn’t comment. When you give him no disagreement he leans in, he can hear your breath hitch, it brings him a little pleasure to be the ‘cool’ one in the situation. 

When he’s closer than you would’ve ever imagined he gives you a grin, “hi.” It was a hushed whisper, you give him one back, “hi.” Your eyes flash from his gaze to his mouth, you were caught, it makes you look down at your hands. 

Your mind spirals, why hasn’t he kissed you yet, and also, what do you do with your hands? Giving it a shot you press them against Peter’s chest, but it feels like you’re pushing him off, so you move to his shoulders but it doesn’t feel quite right. 

“Want some help?” Peter caught on to your struggle, of course he did, he just notices the little things with you. He doesn’t even pull away, just bringing his hand that was on your thigh to bring your left hand around his neck. Your right hand outstretched to rest on his ribcage, when you look back he seems much closer, this time he’s looking at your mouth. 

“Do-” 

Peter cuts you off, a hushed whisper, “I’m gonna kiss you now,” you breathe in sharply, “oh, okay.” Peter can’t fight the smile, “is it?”

You don’t get a chance to answer, his mouth is on yours, and it’s heaven. You feel like you’re floating, his lips velvety smooth, the only way you know how to show your shock and appreciation is by gripping his shirt. Peter’s bottom lip favored your top lip, moving into his kisses awkwardly. He was much more experienced, but he didn’t make you feel overwhelmed, it felt like he was guiding you. 

You didn’t feel like you were doing much, but it felt like everything you imagined. It made you dream of a day where you could do this with him whenever you wanted. It felt like he was pulling away, you refused to part and followed him, holding tight to his flannel. It failed when he was able to push you away with ease. 

Peter sounded slightly winded, you were blinking with stars in your eyes, your heartbeat in your throat, and just a little shy to look at him. “Funny thing about kissing, you gotta breathe to keep doing it.” 

You're new to it, gulps of fresh air weren’t as refreshing as him. You wanted to kiss him again, but you didn’t want to put him out, and you still weren’t sure how to initiate or ask for it. 

Peter tapped on your knee, “wanna take me out for another test drive or are you happy with your purchase?” 

He wanted to do it again. 

That’s a good thing. 

“If I buy it, does that mean the test drives stop?” 

“Of course not. That just means you don’t need to ask to drive it.” 

You lean in this time, “but I have to ask now?” 

Peter speaks against your lips, “it would be the customary thing to do.” 

“Well then,” you speak softly and look at him, “would you kiss me again?” 

Your eyes close when he brushes against your mouth, a kiss is pressed to the corner of your cheek, “depends, are you planning on purchasing?” 

Boldly, you give him a chaste kiss, “everyone at school is gonna hate my new car.” 

Peter kisses your cheek, “best in show, baby. Best in show.” 

You take a deep breath, it wasn’t a bad thing to need someone. And it wouldn’t be bad to let yourself have them. 

Peter Parker heard everything everyone said but he wasn’t even listening, it felt dizzying, for the first time someone saw the real you, the good you and wanted you. He wanted nothing and everything at the same time. You liked him, maybe a bit too much, and the risk of losing him was enough to send you flying. But the chance of love, and hope and trust was even bigger. 

Someone wasn’t scared to have a big reputation with you. Peter Parker was proud to have the same big enemies as you. 

And for that reason, 

“Sold.” 

[kth1fics]

KTH1 MASTERLIST

© All rights reserved under @kth1fics​​ / @kth1​ - do not copy, repost, modify, edit, or translate any of my work without my direct consent. This TUMBLR and AO3 are the ONLY places my fics are posted.

Unless stated otherwise, all my writings are generally nsfw (18+). All works are marked with a rating for a reason, if you are underage please click away! All works are pure fiction. Stories do not reflect the real life persons. Characterization is my own. 🍓

✶ Apples in February | werewolf au | fluff, smut

↠ Jin was the type to make you feel good, to show you all your worth. Always understanding of another, you accept the fate of being his mate.

✶ Cherry Topper | idiots/friends to lovers au | fluff, smut

↠ Seokjin is a busy man with a full schedule on his plate at all times. He’s getting through it so he can finally have you though.

✶ The Imminent | demon au | royalty au | smut, horror

↠ A princess from a royal family buys assistance from a witch in the woods to seek out a yellow-eyed demon who can save your ill-fated father, the King.

✶ Winter Whiskey | established relationship au | fluff, smut

↠ Taking your annual friendcation with your loving boyfriend, Jin, the two of you share heartwarming memories together while resting and relaxing.

✶ Again | vampire au | smut

↠ History with a vampire, you think I’d be over it by now. Yoongi comes and goes as he pleases. But why does he keep coming back?

✶ Cut Shot | boyfriend au | fluff, smut

↠ Summer vacation has many moments of fun loving gestures, even when Yoongi goes out of his way to pick up the sport you love playing.

✶ Get Jinxed | cyberpunk au | angst, smut

↠ You battle with the decision between the justice of the law and the rogue ex cop who has you wrapped around his finger.

✶ I Won’t Hurt You | scream au | smut, angst

↠ You find out that your boyfriend is Ghost Face, but he doesn't want to hurt you.

✶ The Little Things | boyfriend au | fluff, smut

↠ When the present isn’t exactly enough for you right now, Yoongi is here for you through it all.

✶ Tiger Layer | royalty au | smut

↠ You are here to serve your king. In any way he pleases.

✶ Twisted Fate | vampire au | smut

↠ A slice of vampiric lifestyle here inside the Briarwood Manor walls after you ultimately picked the Lord you wish to serve.

✶ Welcome Home | marriage au | fluff, smut

↠ After picking up your husband at the airport, you greet him with what any lonely wife would in the comfort of your shared bedroom.

Series:

✤ Tale of a Champion m.list : | medieval romance au | s2l, smut ↠   ❝Dive deep into the thicket of Aurozuto and live through a feverish tale of love, romance, adventure, power, vengeance and passion!❞

✶ Crosscurrents | mermaid au, royal au | soft, fluff, fantasy

↠ A bittersweet scaly tale about a lovely mer-prince who falls for a beautiful land princess.

✶ Protecting the Bloodline | vampire au | smut

↠ Understanding the role you were given by the Church you took on your duty of serving the one Prince you choose with ultimate pride.

✶ South Side | gang au, bad boy au | strangers to lovers | smut

↠ You’re too curious about the alluring, dangerous bad boy down in the south side of the city.

✶ Atmosphere | celebrity/boyfriend au | smut, fluff

↠ Namjoon and you have been dating for a few years now, fully aware of the worries a relationship with a celebrity would be like.

✶ Mishap | relationship au | smut, slight angst

↠ You wonder what path you’re heading down when you keep finding yourself in his bed.

✶ Caught Elvesdropping | christmas au | smut, fluff, pining

↠ This Christmas season you find yourself caught in a consistent magnetic attraction to the most handsome North Pole Elf ever.

✶ My Princess | vampire au | smut

↠ An event to celebrate the possible new world of coexisting among the supernatural. you were reluctant at first, not wanting to indulge yourself back into this type of life. But a silver-haired man from a royal family ended up changing your mind.

✶ Safe Haven | werewolf au | fluff, smut

↠ When a wolf protects the royal family for many years, he’s faced with one special princess who he’ll do anything for.

✶ Shake Shack | strangers to lovers au | fluff, smut

↠ Crushing on a man ever since high school, you failed time and time again to actively talk to him. Until one sweaty summer day, you finally developed the courage to ask him out on a date.  

✶Strictly Confidential | slice of life au | smut

↠ How did you find yourself messing around with him when he’s publicly with someone else? I guess what’s what makes a secret relationship... well, a secret.

✶ 00:00 (Zero O’clock) | slice of life au | super fluff, smut

↠ A night full of movies and intimate conversations with the love of your life and his fluffy dog whom you love more than anything leads into something more.

✶ Aberrant | hybrid au | fluff, smut

↠ Meeting a handsome and rare fox hybrid was the last thing you had expected in a world of coexisting hybrids.

✶ Baddie | situationship au | smut

↠ The bad boy in your life, Kim Taehyung, comes visiting once again for his basic needs to be met.

✶ Down Bad | boyfriend au | ft. yoongi | poly, smut

↠ To spice up your sex life even more, your boyfriend, Taehyung, suggests a brand-new offer to you. One that includes another piece of Daegu that is extremely hard to resist.

✶ Dream | boyfriend au | fluff, smut

↠ Your subconscious was messing with you a little too much, leaving you restless, nervous, and weary. Taehyung is here to reassure you though.

✶ Game Point | volleyball au | smut

↠ TBA!

✶ Let’s Try Again | slice of life au | smut

↠ Taehyung, your husband and father of your child(ren), continues to lead a teasing game which consists of persistence, dedication, dirty talk, and more.

✶ Northdows Forest | faerie au | smut

↠ A lovely interaction with a newfound magical creature who has round peculiar eyes, wispy red hair, and beautiful silk wings.

✶ Playful Dominance | werewolf au | smut

↠ As a werewolf, being separated from your mate is hard, it takes a toll on your emotional, mental, and physical being. You’re sad, you’re lonely, and you’re horny.

✶ Tanzanite Treasures | mermaid au | fluff, smut

↠ You’re met with a handsome man who hands you back your missing necklace given to you by your late grandmother. What you didn’t know is that the necklace holds such a powerful secret about life under the sea.

✶ The Sheets | idol au | smut

↠ On your night out with the gals you get hit up by the one and only, Kim Taehyung, who’s been eyeing all of your Instagram stories. It’s no shocker that he attempts to get you back to his place once you finally decide to leave the club because this isn’t your first rodeo with the determined and insanely hot, fuckboy.

✶ Welcome to Woodsboro | scream au | smut, crack

↠ One generation’s tragedy is the next one’s joke as two horror enthusiasts set out to visit California’s most infamous murder site, Woodsboro.

Series:

✤ Black Ravens m.list : | vampire au | s2l, smut, angst, romance ↠   ❝What the world has to offer is much greater than you could ever imagine. Your life turns upside down when the captivating establishment, Black Ravens, grants you the unthinkable.❞  

✤ 2 Player Games m.list : | established relationship | fluff, smut ↠   ❝Your extremely, effortlessly attractive gamer boyfriend ends up being a bit too playful in a series of videogame ways!❞  

✶ BlueKooBerry | streamer au | fluff, smut

↠ He’s your lovely, most amazing, streamer boyfriend one could ask for.

✶ Long Time No See | werewolf au | angst, smut

↠ Jungkook shows up at the apartment door filled with animosity and unanswered questions. Where did he go? Why did he leave?

✶ Lucky, Lucky Girl | roommates au | pwp, smut

↠ The joy of Jungkook having a grand ol’ time with his own personal karaoke night causes you, his roommate, to grow more and more annoyed.

✶ Office Santa | office christmas party au | smut

↠ On the verge of leaving the office Christmas party, you find a reason to stay just a little bit longer.    

✶ Piquant | vampire au | angst, smut

↠ Jungkook is your awesome roommate who also happens to be a vampire. What could go wrong?

✶ To Find the Sheep | werewolf au | fairytale, angst, smut

↠ TBA!

✶ Christmas with Bangtan: Secret Santa | chrismas au  ⏤    ❝This holiday season we have a surprise in our own ways; seven gifts for seven days! A tasteful present from us to you, these seven lovely senders have tales and stories of seven men you wish you knew.❞  

✶ Be My Bangtanvine | valentine’s au  ⏤     ❝Featuring seven beautiful rose petal authors, we gift to you seven delectable stories in honor of this romantic holiday full of love and affection. From sour war-heads to the overly sweet chocolate hearts, we hope you enjoy our twists of fics!❞  

✶ The Last Splash | mermaid au  ⏤     ❝Surfs up dudes! Or, swim with some of those little fishies! To draw in the last bits of summer, seven authors have gathered together to give you that one last hoorah to end it off!❞    

✶ Briarwood Manor | vampire au  ⏤     ❝For the prince you come in favor for, you are endlessly indebted to them and only them for the rest of your days. You will be their property, for them to take and to use you to their liking as they give back security, safety, and shelter. You are born to provide the prince of your selection, raised on the purities of the world around you, a clean human offered under the blood moon.❞    

✶ Bangtan Cinema: Horror Night | movie au  ⏤     ❝Come watch read some haunted themes being featured at the Bangtan Cinemas! All stories based in a universe of a special horror-related movie! Isn’t that spook-tacular? So come on down, grab a couple of your friendly goons, some buttery popcorn, and enjoy 7 movies fics directed written by amazing and horrific authors!❞

✶ Paw Prints Academy | dog trainer au ⏤     ❝Welcome to the Paw Prints Academy for Dog Training and Behavior Program! Thank you for taking part in our community of puppy adoration and love. Seven authors have come to participate in telling a brand new story for you all; confidently trained by the best dog trainers PPA has to offer! We will continue to support and resource you with the softest, fluffiest, and wholesome interactions as you venture deeper into your program! We strive to give you the best dog training (fics) experience possible!❞

[tea-plantz]

could i rq general headcanons of yandere bill cipher? :-) have a wonderful day btw!!

Dude Bill is literally my fav Gravity Falls character, anyways here you go and thank you for the request!

They/them for the reader

!tw: mention of blood, violence, kidnapping, torture and typical yandere stuff, spoilers!

<Yandere Bill Cipher x Reader HCS>

Ok so first of all, Bill first stumbled upon you in a small, weird town called Gravity Falls.

You were walking around in the forest, looking at trees, picking up rocks, simply enjoying a warm summer day in the bizarre town.

Bill can’t really explain why, but you strangely seemed to have caught his attention, as he continued to watch you from afar.

You seemed rather interesting and Bill didn’t exactly have anything better to do than to follow this eye catching h/c human around.

———————————————————

After that little incident, Bill couldn’t get his mind off of you. He didn’t understand why though, you were just a mere human after all, and he was a literal demon! But there was just something special about your aroma, like you were pulling him in somehow. You just seemed so different, unique, pretty… weird huh?

Bill decided that he needed to know more about you, so that’s exactly what he did! For a few months he continued to stalk keep an eye on you, gathering some information about yourself. Nothing wrong with that, right? He was just looking out for you.

Over time, Bill’s obsession with you started to grow, and not in an healthy way. He found himself craving to talk to you, to make you smile and to kiss you…(how that works, I do not know:P)

The triangle finally decided that enough was enough. He NEEDED to have you.

After a little thinking, Bill decided that the most appropriate way to go about this would be to try and make a deal with you. It’s his specialty after all!

So one morning you woke up to find a… dorito person?? floating right above your head, staring straight at you. Had that thing… had it been watching you sleep?!

“Greetings, my lovely little muse!” The yellow thing said, while bowing down and tilting it’s hat in a formal way. “How are you, Y/n, doing on this beautiful morning? Would you like some rabbit teeth-“ “AAAAAAAAAAH”

Bill desperately tried to calm you down and tell you that he meant no harm. After a bit of a struggle, you finally calmed down and listened to what he had to say.

The demon offered you a deal that honestly seemed too good to be true. You would get whatever you wished for, and all he needed in return was just a small, little favor! Whether you choose to expected this deal or not is completely up to you.

If you expect, he would be thrilled! “Great! Just great, my little friend! Now, my dear, I just need an itsy bitsy little thing from you… you!”

If you declined, however, he would just have to resort to more drastic measures to get what he desires. Either way you’re coming with him, whether you like it or not.

——————————————————————————

Now that Bill finally has you, I feel like he’s actually going to treat you pretty decent! He’s a gentleman you know, and he knows how to treat you right.

He has a romantic side, constantly giving you gifts, telling you how precious you are, and he even plays the piano for you!

Don’t be fooled though, if you do get on his bad side he won’t hesitate to punish you.

Bill can be a bit of a sadist and his punishments are usually cruel and inhumane. However, I don’t think he’s gonna hurt you physically, like cutting limbs or torture, no. I feel like Bill, being the bizarre creature he is, is probably going to punish you by for example turning you’re legs into chicken legs! Basically anything strange or abnormal that would cause you distress. He probably enjoys it as well, seeing the look on your face as you scream and run around the room. “You’re gonna have to run faster then that toots! Ahahaha!”

The dorito man probably wouldn’t chain you up or something, unless he has to. He’ll let you walk around freely in his weird dimension, moreover, you probably wouldn’t even dare to try and escape either way , since Bill has stated various threats, and made it crystal clear that he or other creatures in his dimension will hurt you, or people you care about (y’know like in the show, with Dipper and Mabel? The “ini mini miny YOU” scene) if you leave him for too long.

When it comes to jealousy, I don’t think Bill would get that jealous, honestly. He knows you’re his, plus you wouldn’t really be able to leave anyway. Although, if anyone did look at you the wrong way, well… let’s just say he won’t hesitate to kill for you. The triangle would sometimes even bring you present to remind you that you belong to him and him alone, although the gifts could sometimes be a bit gory, if you get what I’m saying. Bill would someday want to rule over the galaxy, with you by his side. That’s his ultimate goal and fantasy.

I don’t really think this is the worst situation to get stuck in, I mean come on! He can literally get you whatever you want, just as long as you love him! With just a few dark moments here and there, I think Bill would actually be a pretty good significant other, even though he can be a bit possessive.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

How They Feel Being Loved by You | CSM Edition

 tags: gn!reader, headcanons, tarot, spoilers for makima’s

a/n: a spin on my usual tarot hcs of how it feels being loved by a certain character but rather how they feel being loved by someone else. something light-hearted to cheer up after a recent, unfortunate event. let’s enjoy csm tuesday tomorrow woo!! i don’t apologize for the person i will become when angel is officially in an episode, i am saying that right here and now. (also for the anime onlys, i’m a manga reader so lwk just assume anything with makima unless specified otherwise isn’t anime only-friendly)

denji

knight of cups, the emperor, ten of cups, the hierophant

ever the romantic who doesn’t ask for much, denji is wholly satisfied with your relationship and the love you give him. as far he’s concerned, he’s living on cloud nine. you’re the bonnie to his clyde, the thelma to his louise, you’re partners. he’s spoiled by what you do for him, big and small. you make denji feel safe and secure, he doesn’t need to worry when you’re around and if you’re apart, he knows your relationship is just as strong. what more does he have to ask for? although, if denji was asked, he supposes he does have a small list of things he’d like to ask you for. boobs and ass please going on lots of dates together, steak every morning for breakfast and an unlimited amount of jam and butter.

aki

the lovers, five of swords, the hierophant, king of wands

love was freedom for aki. all these years being pulled by his hate and desire for revenge led him into conflict after conflict with the devil hunters and it wasn’t until experiencing love did he consider following a different path. love for his new family, a new family that includes you. rather than his strength being fueled by hate, aki’s strength is fueled by love and his fear he will lose those that he cares about. he wants you to have a long life even if he knows that you won’t be able to enjoy a long one with each other. he wants to spend as much time as he can with you regardless. he feels your warmth and passion and love for life envelope him completely, that’s the foundation for his actions.

power

the lovers, king of swords, eight of cups, the world

power feels like she is on top of the world when she is with you. she isn’t the brightest tool in the shed, nor is she as brave as she claims to be but you make her feel that way 100%. there are tendencies power will never be able to let go of as the blood fiend. she will always thirst for blood and she will always be fond of the idea of violence and chaos and her general dislike of humans will remain. but if it’s you, humans aren’t all bad. meowy likes you after all and if you have her beloved cat’s approval, power knows in her heart that you’re the one for her. you know what she is and isn’t capable of and you accept power, flaws and all and she accepts you human and all. she’s the ultimate, great and feared power and you are her ultimate lover

angel devil

queen of chalices, the devil, queen of swords, two of pentacles

being loved by you is a sign to angel that it’s finally okay for him to be selfish. he no longer has to put on airs or be fearful of the terrifying beast that keeps him chained to the devil hunters. angel chooses you. you make him feel balanced and like it is okay to release the emotions he keeps quelled inside him; love, happiness, fear and anger. he lets them flow as freely as the newfound selfishness you awakened in him. he can make this work, he can get through any trial his relationship with you may come across. it matters not if he is angel or devil first, angel is first and foremost yours. he will always be cautious of touching too freely, but he welcomes the affection he can receive like its the finest wine

makima

the world, the fool, five of swords, four of wands

your love is a new experience for makima. until you, every relationship she has had was one that was based upon her powers as the control devil and that fact has haunted her for many years. but you came and freed her from those chains, the one person the control devil can have a relationship with where her powers didn’t play a part. for makima, this is as freeing as it as luxurious. everything about your relationship is something new for her and it makes makima feel as if she has everything and is everything. for makima, close isn’t close enough she wishes she could live in your skin. your love the is the blood that flows through her veins, the air she breathes and if she could she’d live in your chest as your heart. for makima, your relationship is a harmonious one. she hopes that through you, she can form more relationships like your own. relationships that are equal. but you will always be her favorite.

[cherliin]

the sims 3: crybaby whims legacy conversion 🧸🩹

note: if you're like me and you've been playing sims 3 but find there's a lack of new challenges, I hope you find this challenge to your liking. you can find the original made by draeyad for sims 4 here. I will be including the original descriptions for generations with very minor changes.

i highly recommend using the family secrets mod!

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐫 𝐮 𝐥 𝐞 𝐬 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

— ᡣ𐭩 You must complete every goal for each generation before moving on to the next. This means completing the lifetime wish is optional unless specifically stated in the generation goals. — ᡣ𐭩 Some cheats are allowed to progress the story. I’ll clarify in each generation. — ᡣ𐭩 No money cheats. You may, however, use familyfunds [sims last name] [money wanted] OR freerealestate for your first home in generation 1. — ᡣ𐭩 Lifespan can be kept on normal OR long. Adjust as you see fit. — ᡣ𐭩 You can take sims into CAS by shift-clicking and selecting "Edit in CAS" since you may need to change traits. — ᡣ𐭩 Fill in traits as needed if not all are listed for a sim.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐃 𝐎 𝐋 𝐋 𝐇 𝐎 𝐔 𝐒 𝐄 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅            𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟏

lifetime wish: perfect mind, perfect body career: none at first, politics as an adult traits: perfectionist, neurotic, family-oriented, nurturing, neat

colors - yellow and white

— everyone thinks that we’re perfect, please don’t let them look through the curtains —

you grew up with a perfect white picket fence life in a perfect home. perfect parents, perfect siblings, perfect grades. nothing was ever out of place. or was it? your memory is a little jaded, it seems. maybe, you got it all wrong. you were taught father builds the home and mother maintains it. but how was dad making money again? jeez, you can’t remember. did you choose to forget? and like the perfect sim you are, you fell in love in high school with the perfect person. or, you thought they were perfect until you saw them kissing your sibling. and only a few years later, they got married. you weren’t even invited to the wedding. no, this wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

you were perfect. where did it go wrong?

you promised you’d keep to your mother’s beliefs. you married young (18 to be exact) and took care of your spouse and home. but your ex was always hanging around your sibling's house. and you guys may have accidentally hooked up. and now you guys are pregnant, each having a different spouse.

— is it weird to co-parent with your sibling's spouse? should you keep seeing your ex? what about your partner? will they catch you cheating? will you tell them the truth or continue living a lie?

— ᡣ𐭩 have a high school sweetheart you start on bad terms with (you may cheat this or have them yell at each other a lot) — ᡣ𐭩 have a very caring spouse who you’re madly in love with — ᡣ𐭩 have a perfect white picket fence home with your spouse — ᡣ𐭩 slowly rebuild a relationship with your ex — ᡣ𐭩 start hooking up with your ex until one of you gets pregnant — ᡣ𐭩 raise the child under your roof — ᡣ𐭩 have three more children with your spouse — ᡣ𐭩 divorce your spouse as an adult and take all the children — ᡣ𐭩 stop being a stay-at-home parent and join the political career — ᡣ𐭩 fulfill your lifetime wish — ᡣ𐭩 will you continue seeing your ex?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐁 𝐎 𝐌 𝐁 𝐒  𝐎 𝐍  𝐌 𝐎 𝐍 𝐃 𝐀 𝐘  𝐌 𝐎 𝐑 𝐍 𝐈 𝐍 𝐆 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅                             𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟐

lifetime wish: the perfect garden career: gardener traits: unflirty, loves the outdoors, excitable, green thumb, shy colors - white and pink

— pinky promise, i’ll still love your garden. even with no flowers. —

love isn’t real. it doesn’t feel real. you’re not even sure who your real other parent is. your parents were always too busy messing around and barely found time for you and your siblings. you basically swore off love, thinking it only caused problems. it’s not like it mattered anyway. you all died in the end. until you met someone at a coffee shop who shared your love for the outdoors. it was rare meeting anyone as passionate as you. at first, you rejected any and all attempts to go on a date with this person. but wow, they kind of insisted on it. so you decided to humor them and despite your unflirty ways, they liked you. it was a strange feeling but it made you fall madly in love for the first time.

and then a cowplant ate them.

see, you knew this would happen. nothing can ever be sunshine and daisies. it’s too much to ask. but after stumbling across some pomegranate seeds, you got an idea. it’s not like there was anyone else for you in this world. was it wrong to bring back a dead person?

— will your relationship be sustainable with someone who is back from the dead? was it cruel to bring them back in the first place? can you continue to love them as they are?

— ᡣ𐭩 have a dead lover with the traits loves the outdoors, loner, vegetarian, good, and friendly — ᡣ𐭩 plant a pomegranate garden in your backyard — ᡣ𐭩 grow a life fruit and catch a death fish — ᡣ𐭩 bring back your dead lover using ambrosia, but replace good and friendly with the grumpy and evil traits (use cheats) — ᡣ𐭩 have children (as many as you want) — ᡣ𐭩 master gardening skill — ᡣ𐭩 have partner join the criminal career after resurrection — ᡣ𐭩 fulfill your lifetime wish — ᡣ𐭩 how will you keep this relationship alive?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐂 𝐋 𝐀 𝐒 𝐒  𝐅 𝐈 𝐆 𝐇 𝐓 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅             𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟑

lifetime wish - the emperor of evil career - criminal, evil branch traits: evil, mean spirited, computer whiz, rebellious, light sleeper colors - pink and orange

— no, no, no. don’t you choke. daddy chimed in, go for the throat. —

having an evil parent in the mafia was no joke. and oh, did you admire them for all their hard work. i mean, they literally came back from the dead. how cool is that? you wanted to be like them and would do whatever it took to gain their approval. your grades were awful, your friends were the worst and your parents got weekly phone calls from school about you. it was a nice feeling. you even met a partner just like you and you felt inseparable. kind of like a modern bonnie & clyde minus the bad parts like dying in a hail of bullets. that’s bad.

when you had your first and only child, you didn’t take much interest in them, though.

it wasn’t their fault, you just had a crime organization to run. so your parent, the non-evil one, mostly raised them. and maybe that was for the best. you didn’t have much parental instinct and who knows how messed up they might have turned out if you raised them. all’s well that ends well.

— how long can you keep up this lifestyle before it catches up with you? Are you going to regret ignoring your child? or worse, will you regret not conforming to a normal life?

— ᡣ𐭩 get terrible grades in school — ᡣ𐭩 pull at least 10 pranks on your parents while living with them and sneak out past curfew to party frequently — ᡣ𐭩 meet and fall in love with a sim that has the exact same traits as yours (cheat this if needed) — ᡣ𐭩 have three friends, all with the evil trait — ᡣ𐭩 get pregnant but take no time off (link) — ᡣ𐭩 have your parents move in to help take care of the baby themselves (cheat a longer lifespan if needed) — ᡣ𐭩 maintain a low relationship with your child — ᡣ𐭩 have 3 enemies — ᡣ𐭩 reach top of criminal career — ᡣ𐭩 will you ever have a good relationship with your child?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐓 𝐑 𝐀 𝐈 𝐍 𝐈 𝐍 𝐆  𝐖 𝐇 𝐄 𝐄 𝐋 𝐒 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅                  𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟒

lifetime wish: professional author THEN LATER super popular career: writer traits: romantic, genius, bookworm, night owl, cat person colors - orange and red

— fully undressed, no training wheels left for you. and i’ll pull them off for you. —

unlike your grandparent that raised you, you were a believer in love. love at first sight, opposites attract, enemies to lovers. if it was a love trope, you believed in it. you pretty much devoted your life to the idea of love. so when you met the one, just like in all the obscure fanfiction you read, they swept you off your feet. you would do anything in the world to be with them. every hour of every day. you just couldn’t get enough of them. your life felt perfect when you were with them and nothing in this world could make you feel bad again.

until they dumped your ass.

you spent the better half of your breakup keyboard smashing new fanfic titles about loveless relationships while downing a whole tub of ben & jerry’s. and really, who could blame you? that was rough. and thus, the baddies club was created. a club of three pretty best friends, all single, that didn’t need a damn relationship. or did you?

— is this the life you’ve been dreaming of? or are you still a hopeless romantic at heart, waiting on someone to come take you away? but how would your besties feel if they knew?

— ᡣ𐭩 go through a dramatic breakup as a teenager — ᡣ𐭩 write three books with hateful titles about relationships — ᡣ𐭩 switch lifetime wish to super popular — ᡣ𐭩 start a club of singles and get only two pretty best friends to join (link) — ᡣ𐭩 develop an extremely close bond with your two new friends — ᡣ𐭩 go out with your besties every friday night — ᡣ𐭩 host a movie night on saturdays — ᡣ𐭩 max out writing skill — ᡣ𐭩 fulfill the super popular lifetime wish — ᡣ𐭩 move your besties in with you and adopt and raise a child together — ᡣ𐭩 will you ever find love again or are you and your besties true soulmates for life?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐏 𝐈 𝐓 𝐘  𝐏 𝐀 𝐑 𝐓 𝐘 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅           𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟓

lifetime wish: heartbreaker career: stylist traits: commitment issues, irresistible, diva, snob, dramatic

colors - red and black

— it’s my party, and i’ll cry if i want to. i’ll cry until the candles burn down this place. —

you’re a brat. it’s as simple as that, really. with so many people watching over you while growing up, it was rare you didn’t get what you wanted. and you were always kinda jealous of how smart your parent was. they were just - so good at everything. and all you really had was beauty. who cares about that crap? beauty fades. well, it was really your only defining attribute so might as well make the best of it while you could. you just wished people liked you for you and not because you were extremely smoking hot.

well, then. if you can’t be happy, no one can. that’s a principle you always lived by.

you became a prolific fashionista and a professional life ruiner. not only did you ruin marriages, you broke the hearts of your own lovers. it just felt so dang good to be in control. until - uh oh. you met a gym rat and now you can’t stop thinking about their perfect eyes. no, this can’t be happening. you don’t fall in love. who the hell do they think they are, walking into your life like that? better make them pay.

— are you really falling in love that easily? or is it just a fluke? will you keep ruining lives forever or do you think it may be time to settle down?

— ᡣ𐭩 do yoga every morning (link) — ᡣ𐭩 be enemies with every sim that you come across that is as gorgeous as your sim — ᡣ𐭩 reach 3 star celebrity level — ᡣ𐭩 meet a super attractive sim at the gym — ᡣ𐭩 make them fall in love with you and break up with them — ᡣ𐭩 fulfill your lifetime wish — ᡣ𐭩 rekindle the old flame with the sim you met at the gym — ᡣ𐭩 max martial arts skill (to be done through yoga) — ᡣ𐭩 have identical same-gender twins with the gym sim (you can cheat this if needed) — ᡣ𐭩 will you put your past behind you and accept love into your life?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐂 𝐎 𝐏 𝐘  𝐂 𝐀 𝐓 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅         𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟔

lifetime wish: surrounded by family career: stay-at-home parent (artist freelancer) traits: artistic, avant garde, clumsy, good, loser

colors - black and peach

— you’re a copycat. you take it, then you leave it just like that. —

you were born as a twin to a narcissistic parent and unfortunately, you were the scapegoat while your twin was the golden child. your twin always got the three hundred dollar christmas present and you were lucky to get the book you asked for. if your twin did something wrong, it was actually your fault. you couldn’t wait to break away from the dysfunction in your family. and break away, you did. you moved out the minute you turned 18 and you didn’t look back. mostly, you made money by selling art on simblr. but a sim that you met on the same website offered for you to come stay with them. and eventually, like a movie, the two of you fell in love. you even started talking about a future together. you mentioned wanting children to treat them better than your parents did you.

but, wait. why the hell is your twin showing up at your door suddenly?

without much invitation, your twin is now living with you guys. you’ve explained to your partner that you can’t really say no to your twin. you’d feel like a bad sibling if you did that. however, you twin is acting kinda weird. a streak of jealousy, perhaps? oh, they’re just like your parent! not only does your twin insist on sharing the same roof, you caught them flirting with your partner who thought it was you. and why is your twin wearing your favorite cardigan? and when you guys fall pregnant with your first child, suddenly your twin wants to take the baby. oh, hell no.

— how will you choose to handle your twin trying to steal your life? you still love them so what can you do? do you let this run its course or intervene? could your family be in danger?

— ᡣ𐭩 move in with a sim you met through online dating — ᡣ𐭩 have your twin move in with you — ᡣ𐭩 your twin should have the traits slob, kleptomaniac, couch potato, and inappropriate — ᡣ𐭩 get married to your soulmate, but your twin crashes the wedding by acting inappropriately and upsetting guests — ᡣ𐭩 you take up freelancing art professionally and your twin joins at the same time — ᡣ𐭩 catch your partner cheating on you with your twin — ᡣ𐭩 rebuild your relationship with your partner over time and fall pregnant — ᡣ𐭩 have your twin constantly take over caring for the baby — ᡣ𐭩 have two more children — ᡣ𐭩 move the annoying twin out of town with one of your babies and half your money. they stole your baby! — ᡣ𐭩 switch to that household and dedicate your life to raising the stolen baby as the annoying twin — ᡣ𐭩 will you ever get your sweet baby back?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐎 𝐑 𝐀 𝐍 𝐆 𝐄  𝐉 𝐔 𝐈 𝐂 𝐄 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅              𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟕

lifetime wish: jack of all trades career: business, then switch to architectural designer then switch to your choice traits: grumpy, virtuoso, ambitious, workaholic, brooding

colors - peach and brown

— your body is imperfectly perfect, everyone wants what the other one’s working. —

you suffered terribly with your identity. you didn’t know who you were or who you wanted to be. your parent couldn’t provide a birth certificate or photos of you at the hospital when you were born. you didn’t even know who your other parent was. everyone has two parents, right? see, that’s your problem. you want to be like everyone else, unable to find yourself in all the confusion. the confusion of going nowhere. you’ve always been told this or that is the right way. but have you ever considered your own way? maybe it was time to stop comparing to others and just go.

now yours would be a journey of self discovery. you deserved it after all.

after going through some documents at work one day, you saw a missing flyer of yourself. no. it couldn’t be. you were stolen. that explains so much about everything! you’re determined to find your real parents and figure out where you fit in in life. kinda weird you look so much like who you thought was your bio parent. maybe there’s more to this than you realize.

— how will you confront the person who raised you? what path will you choose when you finally have a sense of identity? are your parents everything you thought they would be?

— ᡣ𐭩 get a job in business straight out of graduating high school (aging up to a young adult) — ᡣ𐭩 stay living with your parent to help them cover the cost of your home (you can use cheats if funds are low) — ᡣ𐭩 decide you don’t like business and switch to architecture — ᡣ𐭩 find your birth parents and start building a relationship with them — ᡣ𐭩 go to the park with your real parents every monday and have a barbecue. — ᡣ𐭩 kick your fake parent out once you have reached 100 friendship with both of your real parents. keep all household funds to yourself. — ᡣ𐭩 decide what career you want and stick to it — ᡣ𐭩 max five skills of your choice — ᡣ𐭩 meet your future spouse at work and have children with them that your real parents get to know — ᡣ𐭩 whatever happened to your fake parent that stole you?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐇 𝐈 𝐆 𝐇  𝐒 𝐂 𝐇 𝐎 𝐎 𝐋  𝐒 𝐖 𝐄 𝐄 𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 𝐀 𝐑 𝐓 𝐒 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅                              𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟖

lifetime wish: your choice career: education traits: childish, party animal, social butterfly, easily impressed, heavy sleeper

colors - brown and gold

— if you can’t handle a heart like mine, don’t waste your time with me. —

you were a class clown. everyone, and i mean everyone, just adored you to pieces. but of them all, you only adored one back. they were your rock and you truly loved everything about them. their hair, the way they smelled, even the way they talked. but maybe you were a little too friendly and you gave the wrong signals. you were always just the best friend. when they introduced you, you were just the best friend. you wanted to be more. you always hoped for more. but at the same time, you didn’t want to ruin what you had going. all the way through high school and into adulthood.

and then they got married and you realized you were still in love with your high school best friend. your sweetheart.

you confessed your love for them one starry night and they confessed they’ve always felt the same. but now there’s a problem. their spouse. without much time to consider it, your best friend gets a divorce and is all about you now. this is what you wanted, right? is it? uh oh, someone is getting cold feet now.

— is this the life you want or maybe did you just want to prove you could do it? would you be better off with someone who chose you first? or better off alone?

— ᡣ𐭩 accept EVERY party invitation you receive on your days off — ᡣ𐭩 have a total of ten good friends — ᡣ𐭩 complete three wishes every week — ᡣ𐭩 confess your attraction to your best friend at their house during nighttime — ᡣ𐭩 influence them to leave their spouse — ᡣ𐭩 max out charisma skill — ᡣ𐭩 go on a date with your best friend once their divorce is finalized — ᡣ𐭩 get married, but leave them at the altar before the wedding ends — ᡣ𐭩 find out one of you is having the other’s baby — ᡣ𐭩 will you go back to them and work things out for the sake of the child?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐌 𝐑 𝐒  𝐏 𝐎 𝐓 𝐀 𝐓 𝐎  𝐇 𝐄 𝐀 𝐃 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅                   𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟗

lifetime wish: living in the lap of luxury career: you’re too gorgeous to work traits: neat, hates children, mean spirited, over-emotional, mooch

colors - gold and silver

— do you swear you’ll stay forever? even if her face don’t stay together? —

when you were little, you had dreams and aspirations of grandeur. you couldn’t imagine an amount of money that would satisfy you. however, you didn’t really wanna work for it like other people. you were kinda hoping it would just fall into your lap. and fall into your lap, it most certainly did. in the form of the wealthiest sim in town. it started with them offering to cover your coffee and as you turned up the charm, they only became more smitten with you. you were gorgeous with youth on your side. they simply couldn’t resist. everything was going so well. all you had to do was keep up your appearance, manage your home, and look stunning while doing so. nothing could bring you down.

nothing except maybe aging.

as you got older, your now spouse seemed bored with you. the children you had together even seemed annoyed with you. you decided to ask your spouse for some money to “fix yourself.” they provided the funds for you to get cosmetic surgery, but they didn’t stay. now you just had a large empty home with screaming children, living on borrowed fortune and big lips. so it’s mostly up to one of your kids to strike big and take care of you. it’s not like you’ll be getting a job ever.

— will you realize beauty is only skin deep? will you ever find love again? could you learn how to be the parent your children need?

— ᡣ𐭩 never work a day in your life — ᡣ𐭩 marry the wealthiest sim in town as a young adult — ᡣ𐭩 max out fitness skill only by jogging/treadmill or reading — ᡣ𐭩 max out charisma skill — ᡣ𐭩 accidentally have two children before becoming an adult — ᡣ𐭩 accidentally have one more child as an adult — ᡣ𐭩 change your sim once a sim week as an adult in CAS by slightly altering lip size and breast OR muscle size. — ᡣ𐭩 divorce your rich spouse and be left with the house, but only half the money — ᡣ𐭩 will you get revenge on your ex-spouse? you thought they’d never leave you.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐒 𝐇 𝐎 𝐖  &&  𝐓 𝐄 𝐋 𝐋 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅              𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐞 𝐫 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧  𝟏𝟎

lifetime wish: superstar actor career: film, acting branch traits: snob, adventurous, star quality, charismatic, supernatural fan

colors - silver and lilac

— i’m on display for all you f*ckers to see. —

you lived a lavish life in the lap of luxury. you were the child of an elite and pretty much got everything you wanted. your face was already pretty well known so when your recently divorced parent put you into showbiz, it was pretty easy to get in. you knew your parent was only using you so that they didn’t have to work. and as crappy as it is, you still loved your parent very much and wanted to also be able to provide for your siblings. so you couldn’t really say no. as time went on, people loved you. you were charismatic, outgoing and sweet. somewhat. but the pressure to maintain your image started to build and people’s expectations of you grew higher.

it felt like they were always screaming dance, monkey. dance.

to make matters worse, you were becoming a household name and the elite wanted you as part of their organization, promising immortality. they drink blood so you’re pretty sure they are a vampire cult. you can’t get them to leave you the hell alone. but wow, one of them is kinda gorgeous.

— will you join the elite yourself and become an immortal? or maybe it’s best to go into hiding and never be seen literally ever again? this cult stuff sounds pretty serious.

— ᡣ𐭩 reach the top of the film career — ᡣ𐭩 send your parent money every week (min 500 simoleons. cheat this by deducting 500 every week) — ᡣ𐭩 have an eccentric silver(white) & lilac penthouse in the city — ᡣ𐭩 win 3 acting awards — ᡣ𐭩 find an obscure hobby of your choice — ᡣ𐭩 cycle through four different relationships at the same time — ᡣ𐭩 meet some hot vampires who want to turn you into one of them — ᡣ𐭩 fall in love with a vampire and run away with them into seclusion in a different world — ᡣ𐭩 drop your fame and never return to the spotlight, lose all family connections, and live out a secluded life with your vampire lover.

okay damn that was long but it's done! please let me know if I forgot to change anything!

[toji-bunny-girl]

ANON says: I am always a sucker for classic aomine x reader x kagami goofy jealousy type stuff (like could you IMAGINE them trying to deal with each other while having a crush on the same person someone would for sure get suplexed or wwe style choked out)

Def 100% totally absolutely will have those moments where they’re like,

“(Y/N)’s gonna hang out with me, fuck off”

“Shut up, retard. I knew (Y/N) first, she’s gonna hang out with me”

“What d’you call me?!”

And there it leads to those cat and dog fights 🫡

Whenever you mention one of their names in front of the other, they’ll start to look pissed off, like, REALLY pissed off and starts talking shit about them while you’re there liek 🧍‍♀️‘what did I even do-’

On the romantic side, Aomine would be bolder than Kagami and would probably steal you away from him and spend more time with you compared to Kagami (UNLESS you fight him off so you can be with Kagami LMAOO)

Either way, if you choose between them or another person, they would stop trying to pursue you and instead, keep their feelings to themselves as to not make you uncomfortable :(( Would still be protective asf over you and will defend you whenever you’re on bad terms with your man with the excuse of you being seen as they’re ‘younger sister’ (when it’s so much more to that)

[waffles-art-writing]

Music Is An Escape, So Is Touch - Ghost!Platonic x Fem!Reader (JOKER)

Summary: The quiet night of finding a place to listen to your music by yourself, turns into a night of soft music and a comforting presence by the one person you would never expect.

Proofread: Nope - Well kinda… not really.

Pairing: Task Force 141!Platonic x Fem!Reader - Kinda more a Ghost!Platonic x Fem! Reder

WordCount: 2.8k

Age Rating: Any

Codename: JOKER. ( Part 1 - Part 2 )

KEY: Y/N - Your Name, L/N - Last Name.

Warning/Info: PTSD, smidge of trauma, Fluffy Fluff, self esteem issues and self image issues.

A/N: I would like to thank everyone who has shown interest in this little series! And for everyone’s support of my writing! It means a lot. :) also I kinda stick with the design of Ghost from the comics and stuff for this one. I may also draw something related to JOKER and the 141 if y’all are interested. :)

Taglist: @boogieman-23 (Tell me if you want to be in Tag list for this series)

——————————————————

You weren’t one to openly share your things, music, earphones or headphones, or anything really. Unless you really had to, like they were going to suffer without them. But when it comes to music, everyone kinda just looks at you like you’re some weird person when you say you don’t want to share. ‘What do you listen to preschool songs on loop all day?’ Your friends - albeit your ex-friends - would joke, causing you to curl in on yourself even more when it came to choosing music for a road trip, party, or a group study session. Which more likely turned into a bitch talk and boy talk get together, which you didn’t mind but it did affect your grades at times.

When it comes to the rare time that it is quiet on base, being able to be by yourself. Unbothered by Soap’s pestering or Gaz’s questions, or even Price requesting you to help train some poor sod who fainted when they saw Ghost lurking in the shadows. You were able to find a quiet spot, plug your earphones into your phone and just listen to your music. It’s almost like an escape from the hellish reality that is life, it allows you to block out all the voices in your head that tell you everything that is bad about yourself, nit-pick at everything you do.

Your footsteps are quiet as you walk across base, the night air cold in your lungs, it stings every so slightly, but it is soothing. Better than the burning fire fire that is crackling within you most days from the anxiety and the stomach churning memories of the day you ran for your life, silently wishing you could’ve just been shot there and then, and not have to deal with the prying eyes of every woman or man that works at the base you’re currently stationed at.

Your hands are burrowed deep in your hoodie pocket, wrapped around your phone and tangled mess of earphones, Price allowed you to have your phone for music while in the medical wing. Thankfully he didn’t mind you having it outside of that white tiled, chemical filled building. The same building you have silently committed to the ‘Buildings I will burn before I die’ list. It ranks pretty high.

You peek around the large building, looking to see if anyone is out and about, it’s spring, so it’s not too cold but still chilly. The floodlights are on, the bright light beaming down on a few people outside, some talking others playing a game of some sort. You couldn’t tell from the distance you’re at, you’re on the outskirts of the base, skirting around the lights and populated areas. You may have a scarf on to bury your face in but you’re not going to risk being seen.

You quickly make your way across an open area of the base, dashing towards the low stone wall that runs between the residential area of the base and the more tactical and defensive area. You see the small lights of the runway glow in the distance, a few military vehicles scattered around, one behind you thankfully. You sit on the low stone wall, your feet dangling like a child on a chair, swinging them slightly to keep the chill at bay.

Your fingers work on the tangled mess of your earphones, the rubbery cord becoming an annoyance. Your phone still resides in your pocket, waiting to be switched on. You sigh as you tug at the black and red cord, hoping you’re not damaging the wires inside. After a few minutes, which felt like hours, you finally get the cord untangled, sighing with relief when you plug them in and can hear the music easily.

“Finally” you sigh, tipping your head back, eyes closed. You lean on your hands, fingers clutching the uneven surface of the stone wall. Your eyes flutter open to look up at the stars, the shinny twinkling dots, they could’ve died but we just don’t know yet. The light from them still reaches us before the darkness of the night sky swallows them, drowning them in the dark blues and purples of space.

The music plays softly, drowning out the breeze, the distant chatter from the people outside, the crickets and other night animals that lurk outside of the base. You’re not really paying attention to the music, but more to the stars, trying to find the constellations that hide amongst the other stars. Your mind finally quiet, no inner voice berating you, making you want to crawl under a rock and die. Not making you feel like everyone is staring at you, looking down on you, making you feel miserable and lonely. Just peace and quiet, almost tranquil.

A noise, a sharp baritone noise sounds out from your right.

Fear bubbles in your veins, hands ripping the earphones from your ears harshly, causing a slight wince. You head snapping to the side, eyes scanning the darkness, hands pushing on the wall ready for your fight or flight instinct to kick in. Flight is almost winning when you see the outline of a figure, tall and broad, clearly powerful.

“It’s just me, Kid.” The Manchester accent of your Lieutenant pierces the night air, your lungs that were on fire now simmer down to a low flame, eyes once wide now lowered. Your hands loosen on the rocks, picking at the rough surface as you bury your face into the warm scarf around your neck. You sigh as you see Ghost’s boots enter your vision, warmth is radiating off him like a large fire, it’s comforting when you know who is next to you. “Sorry if I scared you, Joker.” The timbre of his voice sends a shiver down your spine, you just know he is looking at you with his cold and calculating eyes, a frown probably pasted on his lips under the dark mask.

“It’s fine…” You pause, breathing in deeply, trying to find your voice. “Just didn’t expect to see ya out here is all.” Ghost just hums in acknowledgment, the same deep sound rippling the air around you. He’s sitting next to you, his feet firmly planted on the ground, his arms folded as he leans into the metal side of the large armoured vehicle behind you two. He seems at ease, quaint, almost peaceful.

You glance up at him, he’s still stiff as a board, no surprise there. You look away, looking out over the runway and open space, your eyes have adjusted to the darkness, clearly seeing the faint outline of the mountains in the distance.

“What were you listening to?” The man next to you asks, his voice low, trying to keep the peaceful atmosphere around you. You glance over your shoulder at him, in question for a moment. The large man is looking at you, motioning with his hand to your pocket, to your phone. “Oh uh… nothing that you’ll know of” you mumble, trying to avoid having to share your music. “I’m sure I would’ve heard of it, at least.” He replies, he doesn’t sound annoyed, just sounds tired, you can’t blame him. So are you, you’re beyond exhausted, sleep deprived.

“It’s uh… it’s ‘It is so’ by Elevation Worship” you finally state, after checking the screen of your phone, it’s at the 3.36 mark, just over halfway through the song. Ghost tilts his head slightly, trying to decipher why you’re so closed off about your music, he’s pushing his own boundaries when it comes to you. Becoming more open, concerned, approachable.

“Haven’t heard that one” his voice brings your mind out of the dark cloud that looms over your head, the voice taunting you with insults and remarks about your music, saying no one likes it. “Not many have… at least I don’t think. I like it…” you state, bringing your knees to your chin, balancing on the wall with ease. Your phone and earphones are still tucked away in your pocket, music paused and waiting to be listened to.

“Mind if I listen?” He asks, adjusting himself on the wall to lean forward onto his elbows, trying to see your expression. But there’s no need. You look at him, face hidden behind the scarf - apart from your eyes up - your brows are furrowed with hesitation. “Wha-” you cut yourself short when you realise your staring at him, I mean he stares at you why can’t you stare at him? But it’s still rude to stare.

“I guess yeah, I just didn’t peg you to be into this type of music.” You mumble as you dig around for your phone, Ghost lets out a short huff of air. A chuckle? “Well I don’t know what it sounds like, so I can’t say anything.” Your face blanks when you realise that he’s right, if he hasn’t heard the song, he can’t have an opinion on it.

You tap your screen dragging the song back to the beginning, handing an earphone to Ghost, who in turn accepts. You pause for a moment, how is he going to put it in when he’s got his mask on? “I can uh turn around for you to put it in… yea I’ll do that” to stumble with your words, feeling horrible for giving it to him when he would have to lift his mask when he’s so careful that no one would or could see his face. A mumble ‘thanks’ comes from him when you turn your head away, your eyes skipping across the different stones you can see in the limited moonlight. The moon is only a quarter full, very little light is shining down on the earth.

Your mind is miles away when you feel Ghost tap your shoulder lightly. He’s been calling your name for a few moments now, he was worried you might have fallen asleep. You flinch and turn to look at him, eyes wide and brows furrowed. “You okay?” You nod your head, looking down at your phone and following the black and red cord up to where it disappears under the skull balaclava. “Just lost in thought is all.” You mumble as you fiddle with your phone, turning the music on and putting the other earbud in.

(I suggest to listen to the song: It Is So - Elevation Worship)

You sit there, eyes towards the sky, watching them attentively. Mind mumbling within your head as you get comfortable with Ghost’s presence, his warmth that’s radiating next to you. You hear him shift, probably just getting comfortable.

Ghost is content, interested in the meaning behind the lyrics. Slowly connecting the dots between the song and you, he watches as your eyes watch the stars. He has this little warm feeling bubbling in him, happy you’re not scared of him, happy to not hide in on yourself, happy you’re opening up to him. He’s happy.

You sigh as you pay more and more attention to the lyrics, your head dropping, eyes looking at your lap, tracing the camo pattern of your cargo pants. Hands fiddling with a pebble you found on the wall, trying to get your mind away from the tingling feeling that’s forming behind your eyes. Your eyes flutter close, a single tear rolls down your cheek. You're wishing, hoping, begging that Ghost can’t see it or hear how your throat is tightening and choking the breath from you. You don’t want to disturb the tranquillity you two have. But to your demise you sniffle.

Warmth envelopes your hands, not rough material of gloves but the rough calluses of Ghost’s hand. You turn your hand over, threading your fingers with his. His grip is tight as you feel him rub small circles on the back of your hand. He’s moved closer. His shoulder touching yours lightly, he could practically see you shutting down, curling in on yourself. Knowing how it is when you’re left to your own thoughts. He’s been there and done that many times. He doesn’t push you to do anything, just allows you to grip his hand like it’s your life line.

You turn to hide your face into his shoulder, your mind is taking in the lyrics and playing them through your memories, new and old. A small sob leaves you, your forehead is pressing into his shoulder. You’re beyond thankful that he’s here with you, supporting you in his own way.

Ghost stays quiet, allowing you to feel the emotions, he knows he could do more but he doesn’t know how. He’s stuck in his own mind more times than ever, he knows your pain. He’s taking a large step by holding your hand, especially without his gloves, knowing you just needed something to ground you past the music. His own chest aches ever so slightly when he feels you lean into him more, he adjusts slightly, letting go of your hand to tuck you into his side more. His hand coming to rest on your arm, keeping you close, he rests his chin on your head. Breathing slowly, silently encouraging you to match him.

Your hands grip his jacket, hands curling around the thick material. “I’m here kid, just breathe.” His voice low as he mumbles into your hair, you keep your face hidden in his shoulder, your breathing slowing as you focus on his breath. “That’s it.” You let out a shaky breath, not thinking about moving as you stay tucked up to him.

“Thank you…” you whisper, looking up at Ghost. He shakes his head lightly, his hand coming up to move some hair from your face. “I’m always here for you.” He mumbles, he dips his head resting his forehead on yours, luckily he’s just wearing the plain black balaclava and not the one with the hard skull. The skull would’ve hurt.

You stay like that for a few moments, listening to each other's breathing, foreheads pressed together. Your eyes flutter open meeting his, dark molten chocolate eyes surrounded by the dark greasey paint. You smile slightly at the feeling of his thumb brushing over the scars that paint your cheeks, his touch is feather light. “Don’t blame yourself alright? Or I’ll have to put you on cleaning duty for a week, copy?” He lightly sneers, his tone holding a hint of sarcasm. “Copy that L.T” you smirk. “Atta’ girl.” He quips, his mask shifting, eyes squinting slightly from his hidden smile.

The Ghost smiled, smiled with you.

[cranberrv]

⪩⪨ dating steve randle headcanons

a/n : not proofread, this was honestly pretty difficult for me because i cannot imagine dating steve (im a dallas gal!) but still very fun to write nonetheless :) hope you enjoy!

- steve is every single hot douchebag character that you see in shows

- you spend a lot of time in the DX hanging out with him since he’s not good at planning actual dates

- soda is always always third wheeling no matter what

- going to the drive-in to make out during a bad movie? he’s there too. you’re flirting with steve over the counter at the DX? soda is flirting with steve too.

- in fact, soda knows every little thing about your relationship, and it’s honestly a bit creepy the way he’ll casually ask how steve was in bed last night

- watching him fix cars when he’s all sweaty and hot?? sign me up

- if you’re hanging out with the gang or you’re in public, steve is always glancing at you to make sure you’re alright, giving you cheeky little smiles whenever you catch him

- he’s always play-fighting with you, in public and private

- it’s a very ‘friendly’ relationship, i imagine him treating you like a friend more than a lover, unless you guys are being physical iyk what i mean

- which leads me to how you two were fwb before you started dating

- he has liked you since the moment he met you but he had absolutely no idea how to be in a relationship with anyone but evie

- after he broke up with evie, you came into his life a few days after, so he was heartbroken over one person and had a crush on another

- so he did what he did best, pursuing you in a physical manner

- until he decided to take you to the drive-in, and then a few more dates after that, and you two started going out!

- you two have your fair share of arguments, i wanna say he’s a bit of a guilt-tripper, putting his relationship with his dad on you

- obviously you sympathize with him over his father but he uses it to win arguments sometimes

- that’s about the worst arguments get!

- being hugged by him is heaven, practically crushed by his muscular arms in a bear hug, and he always refuses to let go

- he’s so playful and boyish it’s adorable

- it’s so hard to choose if he’s hot and stoic or teasing and playful because in full honestly it switches daily

- i would keep rambling but i think it’s about time to wrap this up!

- in conclusion, he’s very complicated but he’s a great boyfriend that’s good at making you feel safe and loved without even having to do much <3

[violivs]

NMTDaily: The first three of Ben’s costume party vlogs (episodes 21, 22, 23)

I’m gonna do these all as a set. They flow together as one long scene, so it makes sense. Then I’ll do another combined post on episodes 24 and 25, the second half of the story of Ben’s party vlogs. Long post under the cut!

Episode 21: hello guys i’m at pedro’s party

- Ben starts out very enthusiastic at the beginning of this clip (party party party!) but immediately gets uncomfortable when people start walking past him and it occurs to him that other people can see him vlogging. Add it to the social anxiety headcanon evidence list!

- Hero walks by and says “Batman.” And here’s the thing: she should be able to guess that it’s Ben in that costume. He’s the only one of the boys who would be filming because he’s the only one with his own channel.

- That means either she really isn’t paying attention, or Beatrice never asks where Ben is in front of Hero- or, Hero chooses not to tell Bea that Ben is there or what his costume is.

- Or she does tell Bea and Bea knows it’s Ben she’s talking to when she fires off all those insults later. I tend to think Bea does not realize she’s talking to Ben in that moment, but I had to mention the possibility.

- I’m going to watch the Bea insults Ben at the party clip now, just for fun. That video will still get its own post later, this is just an experiment to see if watching that scene first gives me any new insight into Ben’s videos about it.

- It is interesting to think about the fact that if you’re watching the series as it airs in 2014, at this point you don’t know if you’ll ever actually see the Bea insulting Ben scene itself. For all you know, Ben’s POV might be the only one you get.

- We can assume that in between this video and the next, Ben finds Pedro’s laptop, posts this video (unless he filmed and posted the first video on his phone, which seems unlikely but would be faster), then joins the party and starts drinking and dancing. In a break from the dancing he has the conversation with Beatrice, has his feelings hurt, goes and gets Pedro’s laptop and the camera, and holes up in the bathroom because it’s a convenient and private place to mope.

Episode 22: bath time it’s a bath im not actually having a bath

- First of all, shoutout to belovedcreation’s Beadick anniversary future fanfic that’s named after this episode (rated M so look it up only if you’re cool with that)

- Okay, back to the present. “Parties bring out the sad bitterness in people” definitely feels connected to “vlogging takes the sadness away”. I think this is the episode that starts Ben down the path of emotional dependence on the camera. He’s hurt, and it makes him want to brood alone instead of talk to anyone in person about it.

- “Some… princesses… are bad for your health” is a hell of a line, lol

- “Bad for your mental stability and your general well being” oh hohohoho don’t get me started on your mental health mister, I’ve literally written novellas.

- “Not to mess with people’s emotions or screw with their heads” - That’s interesting, because it sounds like Ben thinks Beatrice did know it was him she was talking to, and that she was insulting him to his face on purpose.

- “When you have a bad thought, you should just keep it to yourself.” Says the guy who called Beatrice a bitchface on camera and posted it. As lovingly as possible, *Meg’s Hypocritical song from lolilo plays in the distance*

- “Go away, I’m Batman!” Another underrated classic NMTD moment right here. I almost forget that he’s talking in the Batman voice until this line, and it cracks me up every time.

- Best comments: esthereckstein2532 from 7 years ago with “why is Ben equal parts annoying as heck and adorable?” (Huge mood, very true), and speaker8417 from three years ago with “Legit thought of the song Michael in the Bathroom” (I’m dying I’ve died I’m dead this is SUCH a great call lmao)

- Making a Ben gifset from this series of episodes with Michael in the Bathroom lyrics, BRB. Can’t believe I hadn’t heard that song yet when I made the nmtd musicals fanmix or that would’ve been on it for sure!

Episode 23: Claudio joins me in the bath of emotion

- The official coining of the term “bath of emotion”! A historic NMTD moment.

- Is it me or is Ben acting 100% more drunk in this episode than the last one? I bet he was drinking while uploading the last video. Not healthy to drink alone, bud.

- the video description is adorable. “Computer is in bathroom but not wet. Pedro has lent me his computer but he does not know this has happened.” Drunk Ben is ADORABLE.

- “parties are a gateway to a spiral of doom and awkwardness” sounds about right. That’s rough, buddy.

- Claudio arrives! Ben is so happy to see him!

- Notice here that Claudio is dressed as a cowboy, because he’s been watching Hero’s videos and knows she wanted someone to go as a cowboy! Cute, but also how does he not know Hero likes him if he’s watching the videos? Either he’s just that insecure, or maybe he doesn’t really watch the videos and Ben told him Hero wanted him to go as a cowboy? Idk

- “you silly billy” “I am a little tipsy yes” ADORABLE

- Why is “he’s stating the obvious now isn’t he” the actual flirtiest thing Ben has ever said lol

- There it is, he DOES have a drink with him, he did get drunker between last episode and this episode

- “I don’t know what it is but it’s so good, it makes my tongue go all tingly” Ben. That might mean you’re allergic to it. Don’t ever drink something if you don’t know what it is! (It’s probably just that it’s carbonated, but still.)

- “The camera takes your sadness and makes it go poof” is an important character sentiment for Ben that will come up again. This IS where his attachment to the camera first starts to get unhealthy!

- “Like tears in the rain” listen I love this loser SO MUCH

- I said he was a sad wet cat of a drunk, but Ben is also a very silly drunk. Scolding the camera for making Claudio sad, awww

- “not the camera, the Captain” Pedro is the captain before he’s even himself, no wonder he feels so pressured to be perfect

- “this EXHAUSTIVELY DOWNER PARTY” meanwhile the background music is all cheery and everyone besides Ben and Claudio are dancing and having a grand old time

- Claudio, if you were brave enough to talk to Hero yourself when you have a question for her, you would avoid a lot of heartache.

- “he hasn’t gotten her for you, he’s gotten her from you” you’re not even dating yet and she can make her own choices!

- “the party’s been infected by a sadness bug” this sounds like a Doctor Who plot or something tbh

- “look at his little face!” Ben doing to Claudio what I want to do to Ben, he’s so squishy!

- “that hurts!” “I know it does, buddy, but you will get through it! You’re a brave little soldier!” Lol amazing

- Claudio is angry angsty, while Ben is sad angsty. You can tell Claudio will lash out at others about it while Ben will mostly just lash out at himself and the camera.

- Claudio leaves, Ben promises to tell Hero bye for him, and turns off the camera. Why are these all separate videos he turns the camera off after making? Maybe shorter videos are easier to edit quicker.

- Comments: loving on Tipsy Ben, being sad for Claudio, clocking Claudio’s cowboy costume as being for Hero. One comment saying Claudio doesn’t even seem to like Ben, which makes me sad because Ben is currently worrying that his friends don’t like him.

- Favorite comment: sydneymcgowan with “he looks like a little angel boy aw Ben”

- Indeed that’s my little angel boy and I LOVE HIM and his squishy face <333

💖🥭🦩

[diltonsstrangescience]

So there’s this one comic where Dilton is absolutely FLIPPING OUT over how much Jughead annoys him. It’s really crazy. I’ve never seen him that emotional about ANYTHING. He looks like he’s going to murder someone. It’s one of my favorite comics.

I had wondered, before reading this, what a direct interaction between my two favorite characters would be like. This comic reveals the obvious fact that the two are polar opposites. The overachiever and the slacker. Of course they’d be at odds.

I’m going to completely overthink this comic, and write entirely too many paragraphs about my headcanons for it. You have been warned.

The first thing I glean from this comic is that Dilton has a serious control-freak streak. “Some people just aren’t happy unless everyone else is just the way they want ‘em to be.” I will Remember This Detail. I must collect characters’ flaws for future reference. Dilton gets pushy with other people when he thinks they should be different. It’s not enough for him to follow a strict set of rules, everyone else should too, or it irritates him to the point of cartoonish fury. (If anyone thinks they’re above the desire to change others, try being the only person in a group project who does any work, and see if you’re still willing to live and let live. I can definitely relate to Dilt here, to some degree.)

The second takeaway is that I headcanon exactly what led to the ending panel where Dilton’s been converted to Jughead’s way of life, instead of the other way around. I want to make a comic about it. Dilton’s been harassing Jughead for days about how he should change every aspect of his lifestyle. Jug asks why his lifestyle is so bad, and Dilt again lists off the things Jug does that he thinks are wrong. Jug then sort of disproves these claims, not denying them, but denying that they’re problems.

Sure he sleeps in class a lot, but that’s because class can be boring (surely gifted student Dilton understands this?). Jughead still gets mostly good grades, so he must be doing something right. He pays attention when he needs to. And maybe Dilton thinks his clothes are stupid, but who cares what he chooses to wear? How is that Dilton’s problem? And as far as “cluttering the landscape” by sleeping at the park, and eating a ton at the Chocklit Shoppe—seriously? He’s just existing in public places, doing completely legitimate things to do in those places. He’s minding his own business. Gluttony and sloth aren’t crimes unless they actually affect someone else’s life. And these actions shouldn’t be. So why are they affecting Dilton so much?

There are plenty of other reckless teenagers to try to reform, ones with way worse actions and way worse grades. So why Jughead? What makes him specifically the object of Dilton’s fury? Is it because he gets away with it all? Is it because—look, I’m gonna skip to my point. Dilton’s so bothered by Jughead specifically because he’s jealous of him.

He’s jealous that Jughead sleeps through boring classes because he already understands the material—Dilt is also sick of sitting through repetitive or easy lessons, but he wants to keep up appearances as the “responsible smart kid,” so he has to look alert even when he feels his time is being wasted. Dilton is jealous that Jughead finds it so easy to relax, napping in plain view of any passerby—Dilton cares too much about how other people see him, and he’s terribly afraid of appearing lazy or wasting time, and anyway he’s always too anxious to relax properly. Dilton is even sort of jealous of Jughead’s unabashed gluttony, because it displays a lack of shame that Dilton finds unattainable. Jughead doesn’t worry if the things he likes are “good” or “bad”, he just does what he wants. And it almost always works out for him.

To put the situation simply, Jughead is like the kid who speed-writes his essay the class period before it’s due, and still somehow gets an A. To someone who spent a week researching and revising theirs, this is infuriating. It feels so unfair. Sure, Jughead’s metaphorical A doesn’t do anything to remove Dilton’s A. Whether or not Jug succeeds, it doesn’t affect Dilton. Except it does, because it doesn’t feel fair that Dilton spends so much time anxious and planning and monitoring his behavior in an attempt to be perfect, and Jughead can just skate on through life without worry and be doing basically just as well. Because if there aren’t serious consequences for laziness and indulgence and nonchalance, then that means Dilton’s been putting himself through all this stress for nothing. If Dilton’s way of life is equivalent but less efficient, then it’s wrong, and Dilton is not used to being wrong about anything. It’s not something he handles well.

So yes, he’s flipping out. Because he needs Jughead’s actions to be objectively wrong and in need of correction. Or else he’s got to reevaluate pretty much everything about himself.

Probably Dilton’s not even aware that all of this stems from jealousy. He won’t admit it to himself. He feels far too self-righteous to examine his motivations. But at some point while he’s chasing Jughead all over Riverdale, he’s going to slip up and yell something that reveals basically everything I just wrote up there (but more concisely). He’s going to reveal (and realize for the first time) that this whole thing is just a desperate attempt to justify his own anxieties. After two weeks of this “reform Jughead” nonsense, they say something like:

J: [at the end of his rope] “I just don’t get why you hate me so much!”

D: [also at the end of his rope] “Hate you? I WISH I could BE you! It’s not fair!”

Jughead is completely shocked by this, and Dilton starts rambling about how hard he tries to be perfect and how he wishes he didn’t care what people thought of him and how Jughead can relax but he just can’t and how Jug has to be doing something wrong because if he’s not than Dilton’s wrong and he’s failed at life and that’s literally the worst thing that can happen and—

And Jughead immediately responds by saying that’s waaaay too much to worry about. (Because it really is. That doesn’t make it easy to get rid of though.) Jughead says okay, if you’re so jealous of me, then let’s flip the script. You stop trying to turn me into a teacher’s pet, and I’ll start teaching you how to enjoy life a little more. How to care less about what people think of you. How to worry less, and know which things are actually worth worrying about. How to be a little lazy and waste a little time without feeling like you’re committing some sort of crime. I am going to teach you to be like me, for the sake of your sanity. Because if that stressed mess you just said is what the inside of your head looks like all the time, there’s no way you can keep going like that for long without imploding. (Boy, he thinks, I always thought the brainiac students had the least worries out of anyone. If being on top makes you this paranoid, then don’t sign me up.)

So that’s how you get from point A to Dilton wearing a matching sweater and whoopee cap and asking for burgers. He’s learning through imitation. (Probably too strictly exact of an imitation, but those instruction-following instincts get drilled in deep.) The original joke is that he just spent too long around Jug and sort of absorbed his vibes, I guess, instead of the other way around. But my explanation makes more sense to me. It’s not like Dilt’s being brainwashed, he’s making the choice to act like this. And why? Because he really needs to be less hard on himself, and he finally understands that. Look at him at the start of the comic: wound up and melting down over this tiny little issue that’s not even his problem. Look at him at the end: relaxed, hanging out with his friend, going to do something purely recreational. Sure it’s funny that he’s dressed like Jughead’s mirror image, but when you think about it, this is clearly a good change for him (in all ways but the twinning outfit).

I really do think Jughead needs to impart his wisdom onto Dilton. Needs to teach him to calm down and do things not for a grade or an award or a reputation, but just for his own well-being. To go out to restaurants. To take naps in the park. To worry less about school. To exist in the world outside of his strict framework of self-imposed rules. He needs to teach Dilton to choose imperfection, and to be proud of it.

Because I need him to teach me that.

As always, this entire thing is 100% completely projecting.

[thatfanfictionchick]

This is intended to be...archival, for myself, mostly. But if you find it interesting you should definitely check out Ikemen Villains!

Ikevil Event - Wrapped in Wicked Romance pt.2

Harrison's Route Ch. 2

·✦...·✧

Kate: “Accomplice…?”

Harrison: “What, don’t feel like you’re up to it…?”

-time skip-

Kate: “H-hey, that tickles!”

Harrison: “Sit still or else I can’t get this necklace on you.”

Harrison: “I’m helping you since you couldn’t put it on yourself, remember?”

(I wasn’t expecting him to make me change clothes all of a sudden…)

I wore a chic black dress, an expensive necklace, and high heels–a far cry from my usual self.

As for the person who made me change, he now walked slightly ahead of me.

Kate: “Um, where are we heading?”

Harrison: “The dangerous place Al told you about. The casino.”

Harrison: “I’m pretending to be a naive, well-to-do noble there.”

Harrison: “And your role is to play my devoted, adoring girlfriend.”

Kate: “...So that’s why we’re dressed to the nines.”

Harrison: “I would’ve thrown something together anyway if you hadn’t shown up.”

Harrison: “Anyway, there’s something I want you to do in there.”

Kate: “And what’s that?”

Alfons had said that Harrison’s curse was the Lying Fox, and that I should be wary of him.

Honestly, I didn’t know much about Harrison yet.

I had no idea why he was going to the casino, either. I’d asked, but he’d insisted it wasn’t for a Crown mission.

However…

Kate: “Earlier you said I was going to be your accomplice.”

Kate: “So does that mean you’re going to make me do something bad?”

Harrison: “Pretty much.”

Kate: “But what if I decide that I can’t be your accomplice?”

He paused for a moment.

He turned toward me and smiled faintly.

Those eyes that could detect any lie seemed like they were piercing right through to the depths of my heart.

Harrison: “Well, that casino’s right there. And beyond the door is a place full of lies.”

Harrison: “You have to choose very carefully what’s a good lie, what’s a bad lie, who is evil, and who is just.”

Harrison: “You said you wanted to see it for yourself to make your own decisions, right?”

Kate: “...Yes.”

Harrison: “Good answer. All right. What I want you to do is…”

-they enter-

Kate: “Whoa!”

As soon as I opened the door, I saw a sight so dazzling it didn’t even seem real.

Luxurious decor, the scent of wine, stacks of bills and coins on the game tables.

(I had no idea a place like this even existed. Just looking at it makes me feel kind of dizzy.)

Harrison: “Hey. Pull yourself together or people will get suspicious. You’re supposed to be my girlfriend, remember?”

Kate: “Yes!”

Flashy Woman: “Look over there! Isn’t that Lord Oscar? He’s been winning an awful lot lately.”

Flashy Man: “Yes, that’s him. I heard he’s the heir of a very rich noble family. Must be nice to be rich AND lucky.”

(Hm, so Harrison calls himself Oscar here.)

I made eye contact with him and he placed a finger to his lips and smiled.

(I’ve been thinking this for a while, but I bet Harrison is super popular with the ladies… He’s attractive and has that air of casual charm.)

It seemed like all eyes were on him as he walked through the room.

Harrison: “You’re being too awkward, you’re acting too suspicious, and you’re bad at lying.”

Kate: “W-well, I didn’t think we were going to get so much attention!”

Harrison: “...Fine, then. Come over here and just sit still and act like my girlfriend.”

He wrapped an arm around my waist, and his light, minty fragrance drifted through the air.

I stood up straighter, trying to pull off my role a little better.

Man with Mustache: “Y-you’re cheating!”

A man nearby shouted.

(What’s going on?)

Man with Mustache: “There’s no way the same card would keep coming up! It’s impossible!”

Man with Mustache: “...Please let me play one more round!”

Man with Mustache: “My daughter has a high fever and she’ll die unless I can afford her medication…”

Dealer: “You’re the one who decided to bet such a small amount. Please leave.”

Man with Mustache: “B-but…!”

Dealer: “Take this man out of here.”

Two men in black suits grabbed the man by both arms and dragged him away from the table.

The moment they passed by us, Harrison spoke up.

Harrison: “...Hey.”

Man with Mustache: “...Huh?”

Harrison: “They played you. You can’t protect anything with pure intentions alone, you know.”

Man with Mustache: “...Ugh!”

The man’s face filled with despair and sadness as they dragged him away.

(Why did he say that?)

Kate: “Harr–Oscar. You didn’t have to kick the man while he was down.”

He didn’t look toward me at my words, his focus remaining up ahead.

(Huh?)

Harrison watched the man being dragged outside.

And I saw anger and then sadness on his face.

(...Why does he look like that?)

Dealer: “Lord Oscar! Welcome. What are you planning on playing tonight?”

Harrison: “Ah, could I get a bottle of your finest wine first?”

Harrison smiled calmly at the dealer.

There was no longer a trace of his carefree demeanor from earlier.

Harrison: “I wanted to take that as a gift and play against the owner of this casino, since he’s rumored to be the most competitive player in England.”

Owner: “I’m happy to hear you’d like to play with me.”

A man wearing a nice, tailored suit strolled out from the back room.

(This must be the casino owner.)

Owner: “Sounds like a good time. I’ve got the wine and a special partner to play against!”

Owner: “How about a game of roulette, Lord Oscar? I believe you’ve never played that before.”

Harrison: “Sounds good to me.”

They showed us to our seats, and the owner sat in the dealer’s seat.

Kate: “So this is roulette?”

Harrison: “Oh, I’m sorry. This is my girlfriend. She’s been pestering me to come to the casino for quite some time now.”

Owner: “Oh, I see! Haha! Well, we can’t have you losing in front of your lovely girlfriend, now can we?”

Harrison: “The dealer spins the roulette wheel and throws the ball onto it.”

Harrison: “We predict where the number will fall, and place our chips on the betting slots.”

Kate: “If the ball hits our number, we win. If it doesn’t, the chips go to the dealer.”

Harrison: “Exactly. I’d expect nothing less from you, my dear.”

Harrison: “Shall we begin, then?”

The game started off surprisingly calm. A small amount of chips moved back and forth.

It was almost like an appetizer for our wine.

Harrison: “Hmm, don’t you think this is a bit boring? Let’s raise the stakes.”

Harrison arranged the highest value chips in order.

(That’s a lot of money. If he loses…)

A small wave of anxiety washed over me.

Harrison: “Six again? The probability of the ball hitting number six consecutively is extremely low, don’t you think?”

Owner: “That’s what they say.”

Harrison: “Then the next number should be anything but six. So I’ll bet on a different number.”

However, the ball landed on…

Harrison: “Six again?”

Owner: “Oh! Well you know, things like this happen sometimes.”

Harrison: “Surely, it wouldn’t happen four times in a row. I’ll bet on everything but six again.”

Harrison tapped twice on the table.

-flashback-

Harrison: “This is what I want you to do.”

Harrison: “When I tap on the table twice, I want you to bet all your chips on the number that appeared consecutively.”

Harrison: “In other words, bet everything. That’s all you have to do.”

Harrison: “And until then, just pretend to be my girlfriend.”

-end flashback-

(I’m still not exactly sure what his intentions are.)

(And maybe this is some kind of trap, for me or otherwise…)

(However…)

(I can’t stop thinking about the anger and sadness I saw in his eyes before.)

(He told me I had to decide what was a good lie, a bad lie, who was evil, and who was just.)

(So in that case…)

Owner: “Last call.”

I grabbed all of my chips and–

Kate: “I’ll bet it all on number six!”

·✦...·✧

[bitter end] [premium end] [main page]

[vigilskeep]

I'm replaying DA2 and I'm trying to gain Rivalry with Sebastian and earn that trophy, but fucking somehow as the anti-chantry, anti-templar, pro-mage Hawke I keep getting friendship points with him! Even when I bring him on missions that specifically lead to letting mages go and helping maleficars and fucking over templars and telling the chantry to fuck off. HOW?!

LMAO. okay here’s some notes. seb isnt THAT anti-mage; he does lean that direction and a handful of those choices are going to work for you, but his approval’s not defined by the issue like people like anders and fenris, who are “about” that aspect of the game. instead, most of all you absolutely need to convince him to take back starkhaven!! seb’s rivalry/friendship routes are defined by whether you try to convince him away from or towards staying in the chantry, which may be related to being pro templar or pro mage but is not quite the same issue. always push starkhaven for rivalry

sebastian is a very moral person. his easy money rivalry is based on making the “evil” choices, killing npcs you could choose to spare, making deals with bad guys, sometimes just being aggressive/mean, etc. you shouldn’t have to do anything with this to get him up to 100% though. i play an aggressive hawke which might have gotten me 5 once or twice but i never rlly did anything bad and i definitely spared at least one person on his advice without taking too hard a hit

otherwise, bring him when you agree to help people like anders and merrill in their personal quests. talk to elthina and disagree with her. i suggest looking up how you can max rivalry on quests like uh night terrors for 20, i think on the loose has some, no rest for the wicked can land you 10... and his personal quests obviously. you’re going to have to take some damage on his act 3 personal quest unless you go all out in favour of holy war, because sebastian actually gives friendship for telling leliana an exalted march is not necessary. however it should be easy enough to make up as long as you’re aggressive to elthina. remember to pick up the starkhaven bow gift for him during repentance and choose aggressive dialogue

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

was she calling the community/fans disgusting and demeaning and inappropriate, or was she calling the media that? because at least I interpreted it as disgusting and demeaning and inappropriate that the new york times wrote a piece speculating about her private life and sexuality after she said a thousand times that she's not gay. speculating about someone's sexuality in the mainstream media like that is gross, because what if she was and didn't want to come out, etc. but I didn't see it as her or her camp calling fans that? did I miss something though?

did you actually read the article or are you just going off of the misinterpretations of the article you’re seeing on social media? because i read the article and that’s NOT what the op ed was doing. the nyt article was analyzing the references she’s made in her artwork to other (gay) artists and doing queer readings of the work that those artists inspired. there was actually nothing at all wrong with the article, unless you view queerness and reading queerness in art as wrong.

t*ylor sw*ft has openly and explicitly referenced: loie fuller; emily dickinson; rebecca; the lakes poets; the lesbian publication, the ladder; queer fashion; stonewall; “hairpin [dropping]” (not once, but twice!). she has repeatedly used the bi flag in visuals, including a bracelet stating the word “PROUD,” her wig in the YNTCD music video—where she makes herself the mayor of gay town—, and most recently has used the lesbian flag in eras tour promotional materials. she has explicitly said the words “gay pride makes me, me” in a movie she made about herself. she tweeted “ME! out now” on lesbian day of visibility.

she has actually never, ever said the words “i’m not gay” OR the words “i’m straight.”

i personally do not believe that t*ylor sw*ft is gay. but you cannot repeatedly use WELL-ESTABLISHED queer references, flags, and inspiration in your visuals and lyrics and then turn around and say that “speculation” or queer readings of that art is disgusting, gross, inappropriate, or invasive. there’s nothing wrong with establishing boundaries with fans. but if that’s what she was trying to do, then she should have said something like “i love and appreciate that you see yourself in my music, but i’m straight.” which, again, she’s never said. it is not disgusting for queer fans to read queerness is mainstream media, regardless of whether the artist or creator themselves identifies as queer or not.

speculation about the way someone presents themselves to the world is not inherently wrong. we do it all the time. my student recently asked me “what’s it like being an openly queer woman in academia?” i’ve never ever said the words “i’m queer” in my classroom because i teach in a red state and i’m not an idiot. but there was nothing wrong with them asking me that, because being queer is abt MUCH MORE than who i choose to fuck and there is nothing inherently bad or disgusting about being gay. “speculating” about other people is literally how we interpret the world around us and how we socialize and find our communities. if i wear a bi flag pin on my coat, i am flagging to other members of MY community that i’m one of them and that i’m safe. it’s only recently that mainstream culture has become aware of the ways the queer community flags to each other and what pride flags and queer fashion actually look like.

no where in that article did the author assert that t*ylor was gay, nor did it speculate on a single private relationship she’s ever had (it didn’t even mention k*rlie or d*anna once and barely even mentioned tr*vis). the article was solely focused on how she publicly presents her artwork and how fans interpret that artwork.

if she doesn’t want to be seen as gay, then she can keep our community, our aesthetics, and our culture out of her artwork.

there’s nothing wrong with being perceived as gay, unless you find it offensive to be gay.

[scarrletmoon]

this is going to keep bothering me unless i finally put it down but let’s really quickly talk about ed, gender and trans femme headcanons

just right off the bat, i’m not saying that you can never HC ed as trans femme, and if you say that’s what i’m demanding, please point to the exact paragraph where i said that

moving on

my reticence to jump into the babygirlification of ed teach in the first few months of the fandom comes from the fact that i’ve felt this undercurrent of discomfort around masculinity in fandom and online queer community.

i mean, i say undercurrent but any trans masc can tell you how much (online) queer spaces hate trans men, especially bc they think of them as gender traitors. people will proclaim how progressive they are, how they’re fighting for queer liberation and bodily autonomy, and then turn around and say the most vile shit about men that you’ve ever heard. people will often excuse it in a myriad of ways — “obviously I don’t mean all men, but you asking me to qualify that means you’re a misogynist” or “i’m allowed to say this bc men have hurt me” or “if trans men are men then why are they trying to escape their compliance in patriarchy. i’m actually affirming their gender by assuming they’re dangerous as soon as they come out”

all of these reasons are fucked in different ways but this ain’t about them. this is about ed

i bring up the adversity towards masculinity bc i thought it might be a possible explanation for what i was seeing; some people seemed to be treating ed like a closeted trans woman, especially based on his actions in s1 ep10. he’s acting more soft and “feminine” so maybe he’s a trans woman and just doesn’t get it! and this bothered me for a bunch of reasons

first, ofmd goes out of its way to depict many different kinds of masculinity, across race, gender identity, sexuality and even hobbies and interests. all of the men on the revenge aren’t the idealized version of what masculinity is supposed to be. and yet they’re all still men.

second, there’s nothing inherently wrong with being a man. the real problem is patriarchy, which even women (and which especially white women) uphold too. this demonization of masculinity makes it so much harder to talk about how patriarchy actually functions. women are not inherently pure, non-violent angels. men are not inherently evil and irredeemable

third, ed is not white. we should know by now that gender and gender presentation are not exact matches across all cultures

so i think part of the reason why people HC a brown indigenous man as trans femme is bc they see some feminine traits — long hair, emotional vulnerability, a penchant for finery, etc — and bc they’re uncomfortable thinking of ed as still a man, they can incorporate him into womanhood in a way that matches their worldview (namely, that women are harmless and victims to protect, and worthy of that protection in a way that men are not)

(btw the first time i tried to explain this on twitter i had to delete the whole thread bc people started calling me transphobic and let me tell you, white trans people telling me, a black trans person this? not a good time)

anyway, i don’t think trans femme headcanons of ed are bad. i think they’re pretty cool actually. but being a woman is more than your hobbies and the way you dress and your actions. the single requirement for being a woman is choosing to exist as one, in any capacity, whether you come out or not

another thing is that ed doesn’t have the same gender shift that jim does, at least not from my perspective. i think ed is pretty comfortable with being a man. he’s just a queer man who also likes soft things, and gets to be softer and more traditionally “feminine” around stede. so it feels very uncomfortable when white people in particular assign ed as female when he’s shown no indication of being so

it also bothers me bc i love seeing a man of colour get to explore that part of himself. it means a lot to me to see depictions of masculinity that aren’t white, that are about being emotional and loving and feminine as well as protective and masculine and strong. and when people say “ed’s a closet trans woman” it feels like “there is one way to be a man, and that’s not ed”. and as a person who spent their whole life feeling like their gender was decided for them by others, it hits home (in a bad way)

it took me a long time to be comfortable with calling ed babygirl and all that stuff; i know it’s mostly tongue in cheek but it sometimes wasn’t. i eventually decided that i wasn’t going to let others ruin my fun, even if it means that when i talk about babygirl ed, it’s different to what everyone else is doing

so i guess TL;DR: ed is a man, but he’s also an indigenous man, and trying to contort him to fit a white supremacist version of gender isn’t going to work