#you're dead to me podcast

[haveyouheardthispodcast]

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (18-24 Feb 2024)

i'll always prefer the og but this iteration is entertaining

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

The Old Codgers Greatest Hits Album (AggressiveWhenStartled, author; quietnight, narrator) - 57K series, canon-divergent stucky co-starring peter parker. Reread of this hilarious forever fave where first teenage peter is forced to deal with two body-swapped geriatric supersoldiers and then bucky is forced to deal with two teenage spidermen trying (and failing) to stealthily rescue their "dog". Great podfic by quietnight, absolute hilarity

History of American Capitalism (Zenaidamacrouras1) - 85K, shrinkyclinks college AU with superstar QB!Bucky & history nerd Steve - incredible found family dynamics, can't believe @zenaidamacrouras1 made me actually really get into an AU that involved both undergrads AND football. The nerve! The talent! (the fic is single POV but there's an amazing companion piece that's Bucky's convos with this sister that give a his POV on some of it and it's equally amazing)

���💖 +347K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Half sleep, half waking (softestpunk) - The Sandman & Rivers of London crossover: dreamling, 8K - amazing crossover! I wish there was 60K of this for me to read

Road to Joy (Oddree13) - Stranger Things: steddie, 25K - latest chapter in this omegaverse steddie series that I absolutely adore

Knit One, Purl Two (mollus) - MCU: stucky, 32K - reread; forever fave WS recovery fic with lots of softness in the form of: knitting, dancing, soap making and senior citizens

Red, White & Royal Goose (fairestfaerie) - RWRB: alex/henry, 7K - I just love a good Soulmate Goose of Enforcement fic

This Sunlit Land (eyres) - MCU: stucky, 38K - wonderful canon/timeline-divergent WS recovery AU

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Resident Alien - s1, e1-3

QI - series S, ep 7-9

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "The Fall of New York City" (s7, e1)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Heaven and Hell on Earth" (s7, e2)

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Stress Tested" (s21, e7)

D20: Adventuring Party - "A Negroni and a Bowl of Spinach" (s16, e7)

Ghosts (US) - s2, e16-22; s3, e1-2

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Vibe Check - Hey, Sis: featuring Kimberly Drew

The Sporkful - Can A Restaurant Makeover Make Diners Spend More?

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Boston’s Blue Hill

Short Wave - The Life And Death Of A Woolly Mammoth

Desert Island Discs - Sheku Kanneh-Mason, cellist

I Said No Gifts! - Jay Jurden Disobeys Bridger

The Assignment with Audie Cornish - Where Does Fani Willis Go From Here?

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - World’s Loneliest House

⭐ Switched on Pop - Adult Contemporary, but make it cool (with CHROMEO)

Shedunnit - The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club (Green Penguin Book Club 1)

Up First - Julian Assange Extradition Hearing, Egypt Buffer Zone, Louisiana Special Session

Today, Explained - The Panama Canal is drying up

It's Been a Minute - Jada Pinkett Smith, the artist

Vibe Check - Welcome to Tip Check

Outward - True Detective: Night Country’s Lesbian Subtext

⭐ Code Switch - Why menthol cigarettes have a chokehold on Black smokers

Short Wave - When The Sun Erupts

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Stone of Destiny

⭐ 99% Invisible #571 - You Are What You Watch

Films To Be Buried With - Tyler James Williams

Ologies with Alie Ward - Black Hole Theory Cosmology (WHAT ARE BLACK HOLES?!) Part 1 with Ronald Gamble, Jr.

Off Menu - Ep 226: Noel Fielding

NPR's Book of the Day - 'Thank You Please Come Again' pays homage to Southern gas station food shops

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Buffalo Soldiers National Museum

The Assignment with Audie Cornish - Jake Tapper on American Political Scandal

⭐ Throughline - Dance Yourself Free (Throwback)

If Books Could Kill - The Better Angels of Our Nature

Our Opinions Are Correct - We Don't Give a F*ck About Canon

⭐ Today, Explained - Fight at the Museum

The Sporkful - Deep Dish With Sohla And Ham: Bagels

Dear Prudence - My Friend Has a Master’s Degree in Lying. Help!

What Next: TBD - The Coasts are Sinking

Short Wave - Didn't Get A Valentine's Love Song? These Skywalker Gibbons Sing Love Duets

Endless Thread - Endless Thread: The Musical

⭐ Twenty Thousand Hertz+ - Industrial Musicals

Strong Songs - "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden

You're Dead to Me - Queen of Sheba [turned out to be really perfect timing to have this knowledge right before getting to certain relevant bits in my current read The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi]

It's Been a Minute - Have we hit celebrity overload? Plus, Miyazaki's movie magic

Simply Reflecting - Did You Say Delusional?

Under the Influence - Seeing is Believing: The Power of Demonstration Commercials

Hit Parade - The Bridge: Bon Soir, Barbra

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Chromeo

Living Colour

Chicago House Foundation

Presenting Soundgarden

Swing Fever [Rod Stewart & Jools Holland] {2024}

Adult Contemporary [Chromeo] {2024}

Campfire Classics

[breitzbachbea]

A Rec For All The Hetalia History Nerds Out Here

Hello my fellow enthusiasts of the five minute comedy anime. I actually decided I should do even more unpaid PR for my favourite BBC4 Podcast.

Anyways, if you are a fan of Hetalia and already a history nerd/would like to get into history, do I have the thing for you:

You're Dead To Me is a Podcast for "people who don't like history, people who do like history and those who forgot to learn any at school". Each episode, the host Greg Jenner (Public Historian & "Chief Nerd to the TV show Horrible Histories") sits down with a comedian and a historical expert, to deliver nearly an hour of a funny history lesson. While you can't cite a podcast for a term paper (as my Dozent pointed out again today), it is still genuine, university lecture level knowledge! And to make sure your head won't explode from all the facts or that the academics won't get lost in ivory tower vocabulary, the class clown is there to ask clever questions and make silly jokes. So it is super factual and super accessible at the same time.

Often, you will get a glimpse at how historians work & how they access the past, too! I know the Anti-Intellectualism is rampant these days, but making academia more transparent and shed light on why certain stories haven't been in the spotlight until recently due to all kinds of bigotry is a much better start than people making shit up on tiktok.

Tomorrow (June 10th), the new series starts, but you can start to listen to the podcast right now with a backlog of over 80 Episodes!

Over 80 Episodes on what, you ask? Everything!

You want to learn about Black History? You will love the episodes on The Notting Hill Carnival, Paul Robeson, the Haitian Revolution, the Harlem Renaissance & many more!

You like your royal history, full of politicking, personal drama and intrigue? We've got The Borgias, King James IV. of Scotland, Saladin and The Mughal Empire for you!

Love the ladies, past and present? Let me introduce you to Eleanor of Aquitane, Joan of Arc, Harriet Tubman, Josephine Baker, Mary Shelley and Mary Wollstonecraft!

Sick of hearing about Western (European) history? Sure thing, find something more to your tastes with The Asante Empire, Mansa Musa, The Tang Dynasty, Genghis Khan, Ivan The Terrible or The Ancient Babylonians.

I could make so many more categories and I'd still not cover every single episode, I am sure. You're Dead To Me is avaible online, on the BBC Sounds App, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

If you could check out the podcast & share this post/the podcast itself, it would mean a lot to me. As a history student who is currently working on getting her BA, it's immensely important for me that people learn how to recognize the past in the present. That they look around the world and see how we got here a little more clearly; that they look at remnants or depictions of the past and see its context better. If you think that sounds marvellous, if you always wanted to get into history beyond the googleable hard facts, then I invite you to start your journey here with me.

Also, the jokes are often really funny, I swear to God, there are so many bangers that live in my head rentfree.

"So I'm a Dutch-Brit?" "You're a Dutch-Brit." "So I'm Brutch -"

"I have a few silk shirts, every single one of them a mistake. I bought one of them in Italy and I don't know what I was thinking, I look flat-out divorced."

"They found 400.000 [clay] tablets, mate? That's amazing, that's more than at Glastonbury!"

[usareiis]

Twitter getting obsessed with conspiracy theories about where redacted is makes me feel so fucking terrible when there is so much worse going on that people are literally begging you to pay attention to but instead you want to focus on scenarios you made up in your head and play true crime detective

[hephaestuscrew]

There's something so interesting to me about the role of Michael's farewell letters in the story of Greater Boston. In both real time and the timeline of the show, it's been a while since Michael was rescued from the Third Sight office by Dmitri. There have been 8 full-length episodes and a ton of mini-episodes since Michael nearly starved to death. And yet the show (and therefore the listener) is still reckoning with that near-tragedy.

In the present day of the story, Michael is alive, he is safe, he is not starving. But through the farewell letters, we keep hearing from a past Michael - a dying Michael. Again and again, we keep being brought back to the time when he believed he was going to die. We keep confronting that awful possibility through the varied perspectives of the people he wrote to when he was near the end.

And even though we already know he was rescued, it still matters what he wrote when he thought he was going to die. Bernie is still determined to deliver the letters. Their readers are still impacted by his words, even if in very different ways.

What almost happened to him is not something the narrative can move past, or at least not quickly. It's not something we can just leave behind once the danger is past. We keep being reminded of what he went through.

It's clear that Leon's death has echoed throughout the whole story of Greater Boston. To a lesser extent, Michael's almost-death is echoing through the story too.

[flowercrown-hobbit]

One of my favourite podcasts is you're dead to me from the BBC. It's about history but specifically things that they normally don't teach you at school, like queer history and the history of Bollywood movies. The presenter is Greg Jenner who wrote jokes for horrible histories and there is also one expert and a comedian. One episode Matthew Baynton there to learn about medieval ghost stories.

[dabblingreturns]

So @radioactivepigeons recommend a podcast to me called "you're dead to me" by the BBC she promised a comedic looks at history.

So of I pop to stitcher and type in "dead to me" because who can be botheted to remember exact titles of podcasts

And I find a podcast called "dead to me"

And I click on the first episode to discover it's about boom of Buddhism among greatfull dead fans and how that mirrors the spead of Buddhism in 5th century BC India....due to some social and economic similarities

And I listened to it a bit and it was interesting but I had but it wasn't very comedic and it sounded very American.

So I went to the next podcast called "you're dead to me" which was two Australian and I figured "okay BBC does get people from the commonwealth....that why it's called BBC world service" but then there was no history....just a really funny rant about KitKats

So I whent online and found the correct podcast....which hadn't been available in my podcast app.....

So now I have two podcast apps, a backlog of podcasts to listen too.

And a creaping belief that what ever your podcast is about, if it had the phase "dead to me" in the name, I'll probably enjoy it.

[youkilledpetunia]

Yoooooo Mat is in today's new episode of You're Dead to Me: Medieval Ghost Stories. How appropriate.

[puppadumz]

Me, starting Haunted House Flippers after the explanation that the marriage dynamic changes quickly for the better:

"Aw, she's so mean to him, that must be what changes."

Me, 10 minutes into the first episode:

"Never mind, I would've committed homicide. Janet is actually holding it together pretty well."

Me @ Tom:

[thebendsbyradiohead]

i know white man with a podcast has become almost a meme by this point but i genuinely cannot listen to podcasts hosted by men? i've tried several times with different ones but their voices are sooo aggravating and i'm always like "uhh yeah sure, whatever u say bro 🙄"

if a man has anything worthwhile to say he should write a letter and send it to the newspaper like god intended, keep the talking to yourself

[hardlyhardinge]

The thing with rqg using real people as characters (particularly real people I don't know so much about, I can happily separate out real Oscar Wilde and rqg Oscar Wilde for example) is that you'll be listening to a podcast about ancient Egypt and they'll casually mention Howard Carter and your whole brain just goes HKJJJHGSKJSJJJK

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (7-13 Jan 2024)

the addition of this disaster boy was delightful

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 Second First Chances (Kedreeva) - 92K, steddie, canon-divergent Ladyhawke AU. Very well-written, exactly what it says on the tin. Very enjoyable.

😊 Murray Mysteries (Knöves Storytelling) - "full-cast audio-drama style re-imagining of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, set in the present day. Mina Murray is an unemployed twenty-something, jigsaw puzzler, and brand new Podcaster. Her life doesn’t exactly make for interesting content. That is until her best friend Lucy falls mysteriously ill and Mina’s boyfriend Jonathan loses contact on a work trip to Romania…" Very creative, very queer, very enjoyable!

🥰 ship-to-ship combat (pomeloquat) - 76K, SuperBat - "Clark, in an attempt to make some spare cash, unintentionally stumbles into the world of superhero fanfiction, becomes a prolific writer for Gotham's OTP, and tries his best to fend off rival fans who want him to convert to superbat instead." - extremely funny and delightful identity porn fic

🥰 Tension and Tonic (Zenaidamacrouras1) - 78K, cellist!Bucky/artist!Steve, one night stand that develops feelings. Mostly hilarious, with some fantastic characterizations, especially of the supporting characters. Fic does go to some pretty dark thoughts very briefly but ultimately the vibe I ended up with was much more on the funny side of the scale.

💖💖 +41K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

A Letter from "Crawly" to Azirapil (mostlydeadlanguages) - Good Omens: Aziraphale & Crowley, 486 words - actual cuneiform on actual clay tablets, 'translated'. Our boy Ea-Nasir gets a shoutout. Fan makers are amazing.

veracity (pomeloquat) - DCU: SuperBat, 3K - a group of Metropolis criminals give Batman some truth serum to find out how to deal with Superman & get more than they bargained for. Absolute hilarity. Fantastic related art.

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

8 Out of 10 Cats - s22, e11

QI - series S, ep3, 5

D20: Fantasy High: Sophomore Year - BONUS "Fireside Chat with Brennan & Friends

D20: Fantasy High: Sophomore Year - BONUS "Making Chungledown Bim (with Lou Wilson)"

Finding Your Roots - "Fathers and Sons" (s10, e3): LeVar Burton & Wes Studi

Hollywood Reporter Actors Roundtable 2023

The Holdovers (2023)

D20: Escape From The Bloodkeep - "The Tomb of Ultimate Evil" (s2, e6)

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Summer Scaries" (s21, e1)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Yaaath Queen" (s16, e1)

All Creatures Great and Small - s4, e1-7 (😍😍😍)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

The Sporkful - Ozempic Isn’t So Great For Fat People, Says Aubrey Gordon

Pop Culture Happy Hour - All Of Us Strangers

Up First - Congressional Funding Deal, Israel and Lebanon, Lloyd Austin Fallout

Today, Explained - Pirates of the Red Sea

How To! - How To Keep Caring Amid Endless Crises

Shedunnit - Whodunnit Centenary: 1924

Switched on Pop - The case of the missing vocals, and other listener questions

Vibe Check - Look to God, Not Monica

ICYMI - The Nine-Month Cruise Heard Round the World

Code Switch - Everyone wants a piece of Martin Luther King Jr.'s legacy

Outward - Raquel Willis is in Bloom

Ologies with Alie Ward - Ethnoecology (ETHNOBOTANY/NATIVE PLANTS) with Leigh Joseph

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Baldur's Gate 3

NPR's Book of the Day - Roxane Gay fleshes out her strong 'Opinions'

99% Invisible #565 - Mini-Stories: Volume 18

Just One Thing - Be Kind

Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Sibling Rivalry Edition (w/ Ify Nwadiwe)

Dear Prudence - A DNA Test Revealed a Secret Sibling. Help!

What Next: TBD - Boeing’s Max Mess

⭐ Endless Thread - The Minnesota Timberwolves score NBA fandom in Brazil, but there's a kink

You're Dead to Me - History of Kung Fu

Today, Explained - Hollywood’s secret musicals

⭐ Hit Parade - And the Grammy Goes to… Edition

Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly - Copycat Brands

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

'80s Soft Pop

The Golden Age of Boy Bands

Presenting Britney Spears

Def Leppard's Greatest Bites

Best of '80s Adult Hits

Covers & Remixes

Singer-Songwriter Classics

Red Hot Chili Peppers

[breitzbachbea]

I thought you nerds might want to know about the history of fandom since the 18th century 👀

[qcomicsy]

If batkids had a podcast XVI

Red hood: Just us today?

Nightwing: Just us today.

Red hood (laughing) I wonder why–

Nighwing: Dude– (laughing as well)

Red hood: I–

Nightwing: Dude don't do it–

(just both of them chuckling)

Red Hood (close to the mic): They're grounded.

Nightwing: (CACKLES)

Nightwing (crying): This is not funny

Red Hood: This is hilarious.

Red Hood: Were last survivors of our kind. . .

Red Hood: Adults.

Nightwing: Adults.

Red Hood: He can't ground us anymore.

Nighwing, chuckling: He can't ground us anymore

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Fuck.

Nightwing:

Red Hood: We're b– (pause) We're both the oldest now.

Nightwing: Yeah– You, me and–

Red Hood, at the same time: Yeah– (pause) This is so surreal

Nightwing: You think?

Red Hood: Yeah. Dude – I was. . . I was the youngest.

Nightwing: Oh your sweet summer– I was a only child.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Nightwing: It really isn't that weird to me.

Red Hood: Really?

Nightwing: Yeah– I was always the oldest man.

Nightwing: I was the oldest of my team

Red Hood: What?!

Nightwing: Yeah!

Red Hood: You're fucking with me.

Nightwing: Nah man– I was the oldest. I am the oldest, I'm not dead.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're older than Arsenal?

Nightwing: I'm older than everybody man.

Nightwing: People look at me and assign me to take care of children.

Red Hood (imitating Damian voice): "Father genes"

Nightwing: HA– "father genes" (pause) Why are you looking at me like that?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're ancient.

Nightwing: IM NOT ANCIENT.

Red Hood: You're older than the Teen Titans, fucking older than Young Justice.

Nightwing: You're older than Young Justice

Red Hood: I was dead man it doesn't count.

Nightwing: Of course it does– How old are you?

Red Hood: How old are you?

Nightwing:

Nighwing: I– I am an adult.

Red Hood: Uh-huh.

Nightwing: In a reasonable age.

Red Hood: You're in your thirties aren't you?

Nightwing: NO

Nightwing:

Red Hood: You look like you're in your thirties– The bag under your eyes

Nightwing: Because I'm tired????

Red Hood: The hunched posture.

Nightwing: Hey I do not have hunched posture– Fuck you.

Nightwing: You try to take care of an entire team of teenagers just to end up taking care of more two and a grown ass depressed middle aged man.

Red Hood: That was Red–

Nightwing: That was Red. (pause) I would have fucking killed him.

Red Hood: Oh Definitely.

Nightwing: Point still stand man I'm tired.

Red Hood: Both of us.

Nightwing: Both of us– (chuckles) Robins if you're hearing this I love both of you and I would do it all over again. Titans– (closer to the mic) You know what you did.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Red Hood (closer to his mic): You know your sins.

Nightwing (laughing): Flash owe me 30 dollars.

Prev Post / Next Post

[bandgie]

On Your Knees Pt.2

ONE | TWO

synopsis: They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but this one seems eager for a treat.

warnings! MDNI 18+, fem!reader, incel!seungmin, pussy eating/fingering, PIV (raw), edging (m!), blue balls, multiple orgasms (f!), dom reader (kinda), banter, prolly more that I missed lol

3.1k words

Seungmin doesn't think there'll be any way for him to live how he has been. Even the friends he spends time with hardly compare to the time he spends on the bathroom floor eating you out. Embarrassingly enough, it's all he can think about. Even as the podcast he's watching blares through his headphones, he can barely make out what they're saying.

Something about how it's submissive for a man to eat pussy. How demeaning the act is for a man to do. Yet, Seungmin questions the validity of what these so-called 'alpha' men are saying. Is it truly so terrible to have the taste of a cunt on your lips? To suck and lick on such a delicious flower?

He shuts his computer off, ripping the headphones by the wire to hone in on his conclusions. 

Okay so maybe this is normal. Seungmin's a big boy; it makes sense that he would eat pussy sooner or later. And if he liked it, that's also fine. He's a man, after all, it makes more sense to like giving girls head than to hate it.

Just as long as he doesn't try to reach out to you. Now that would be submissive of him. And if there's anything Seungmin is dead set on, it's that he is not submissive. 

But days after not seeing you with Han, days of not getting a taste of the pussy that has him whipped has him doing things he's sworn not to do. He found your number, he texted you, and he's going over your house on your conditions.

He's so fucked. 

It's too late to turn back by the time he's at your front door. Seungmin only waits a few seconds before the door swings open. He's seen you about a dozen times, but it's the first time he's felt his heart swoop at the sight of you. He reasons it's just because you're in a t-shirt.

"Oh wow," you take a step back and look at him up and down, somewhat in disbelief. "I can't believe you actually came."

Seungmin can't find it in himself to believe he came here on his own violation either. "Whatever," he shivers from the cold, night air. "Are you gonna let me in or what?" 

You take a step aside to make room, "Since you asked so nicely."

Seungmin takes awkward steps into your apartment, noting the cozy setup and simple plants littered in your living space. His fingertips run on the soft material of the couch, pulling on the loose threads automatically.

You walk past him, taking a seat on your couch and reaching for the remote. "I was just about to put something on," you turn and look up at him. "Come on."

Tentatively, Seungmin walks around the sofa to you. Just before he takes his seat, you click your tongue. "Nope. On the floor." You point to the space between your legs. Seungmin hands close and open, unsure what to make of the situation. You sigh and loll your head to the side, looking at him unamused. "You gonna sit down or what?"

Seungmin glowers at you, "I am. You don't need to be such as ass about it." He grumbles a little more before bending down and crossing his legs to face the TV. "Nope, wrong way," you twirl your finger in a circular motion to indicate him to face you instead. 

He looks at you confused, "But you said we were gonna put something on." You shake your head at him, "No. I said I'm gonna put something on. I never said anything about you." A hint of red begins to show on Seungmin's face, but before he has the chance to most likely curse you, you spread your legs. 

You can practically see the words die in Seungmin's throat at the sight of your bare cunt. He acts before he can think, twisting his body fully and gripping the underside of your thighs to spread you further. It's better than he remembers.

"This is why you came, right?" You look down at him. "Missed the taste of this pussy?"

Seungmin licks his lips, nodding mindlessly. Something about taste and pussy, but he understood nonetheless. His tongue pokes out, but you grip his hair and yank him upwards. Seungmin whines, like an animal tore away from his meal, but you ignore it. "You're just here to make me feel good, got it? You don't get to cum, only I do. Do you understand?"

You have to shake his head to force an answer out of him. "Yes yes yes." He shifts anxiously in your hold. "Only you. I'll make you feel good."

Despite his desperation, you smile. "Good boy. Go ahead."

The moment your grip loosens, Seungmin latches onto your core. It's soft, it's warm, it's good. He moans into your cunt, inhaling through his nose and he dips his tongue between your folds. It's only been days since he's tasted you, but it feels far too long. How could he go a single minute without tasting you? Getting that sticky arousal on his lips so the taste could mingle in his mouth the entire day? Seungmin puckers his lips and kisses your cunt, a thank you for introducing him to a whole new world. 

Your fingers mindlessly click on the buttons of the remote as you try and find a show. You keep switching back and forth between options, clicking random buttons until you accidentally set the caption to a different language. One of your hands pet the top of Seungmin's head, pushing back his hair and twirling it in your fingers. 

His tongue slides down until it catches your entrance, barely prodding it until he slides it back up to your clit. He swirls your bud in his mouth, sucking and licking until your hips buck. "Shit," you breathe. "You really missed my pussy, huh?"

Seungmin opens his eyes to look up at you. He turns his head sideways to place your clit in his mouth, flicking your clit rapidly. That's as much of an answer as you're getting, but it does the job. He lifts his head back up and sucks harshly, pulling on your sensitive flesh before releasing it. You shiver and moan, feeling your arousal drip onto the couch that you'll make him clean up later. 

"Fuck yes," your grip tighten on his hair. "Finger me." Seungmin leans back and uses his hands to rub your pussy. His fingers rub and swirl around your core until they're drenched. He trails them down until they catch your entrance, pushing his middle and ring finger in. 

You throw the remote on the couch and grip the cushions. The stretch is slight, but his fingers are long. They reach much deeper than you could ever do yourself, and you let out a loud moan when they finally settle all the way inside. Seungmin pumps you slowly, getting used to how your walls pulse and clench around him. He watches as your cunt swallows his fingers. His cock throbs in his pants. 

"Shiiit," you throw your head back onto the headrest. "I'll cum if you keep doing that."

That's all he's ever wanted. Seungmin places his mouth back onto your clit where his tongue flattens against your cunt. He moves his head up and down while thrusting his fingers in and out. Both of your hands are tugging on his hair, pulling and pushing him away. 

"Already?" He pulls away for a moment to speak. "Didn't think you'd be this easy, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised." A devilish smile appears on his lips as you lift your head to look at him. You wish you could come up with a snide remark, but your head starting to feel fuzzy and all you can focus on is how close you are. 

You push his head back to your pussy and wrap your legs around his body, locking him in. "I'll make you regret saying that."

Seungmin laughs into your cunt, happy that he succeeded in pissing you off. Now that he's pushed against you, it's a little difficult to finger you as rapidly, but you rather like the shallow thrusts. It gives you more to clench down on and ride while he licks your clit. You buck your hips and ride his face inelegantly. The first hints of your orgasm build in your stomach, making your body feel unbelievably warm as your hips stutter. 

"Fuck," you rasp. "Imma cum." You blink a few times and lazily smile at him, "Did you miss the taste of that too?"

As an answer, Seungmin buries himself so deep into you that his nose is pressed against your clit. The extra texture is enough to send you over the edge, creaming on his fingers and twitching in his mouth. He happily gulps down your arousal, slipping his fingers out to replace them with his tongue instead. 

You just taste so good. Seungmin is delightfully reminded of how it felt to swallow you for the first time, how the taste settled on his tastebuds. His tongue scoops out the white cream your pussy flooded out and spreads it on your clit before licking it back up again. 

He hums, shoving his cum-stained fingers when you finally release him from your hold. 

Seungmin wants it again. His hands splay over your thighs to spread them. After all, it's you who gets to cum. It's only fair he makes sure you can as much as possible. But before his tongue has the chance to find its rightful place in your pussy, you snap your legs shut.

He looks up at you like a wounded dog, "Hey! Open them back up!"

Seungmin isn't sure what he's expecting to see, but it definitely isn't how you look right now. Flushed with a heaving chest, eyes that are wide and full of arousal, and a cheeky smile on your bitten lips. He's reminded of how pretty you actually are. 

"Get up," you snap him out of his thoughts. "Take off your pants too."

He doesn't need to be told twice. Seungmin rises from his aching knees and fumbles with his belt. He unties it quickly before undoing the top of his pants, shoving them down along with his boxers. You gasp, eyes locking with his cock for the first time. 

"Holy shit," you slap a hand over your mouth. He's hard. His cock is red at the tip, leaking with so much precum you think he's had to stain his underwear. You can almost see it twitching from lack of attention, begging to be touched. 

Seungmin smiles, grabbing the base and squeezing it. "You like it, huh?" It's not easy to take your gaze off his length to look into his eyes instead. The sight of him has you aching to be filled. Your pussy clenches around nothing, but you keep your nose upturned, "It's alright."

He scoffs, but the smile never fades. You widen your legs and welcome him, watching as he gets into a half-squat position to angle his cock towards your entrance. Seungmin rubs his tip over your sensitive clit. When it catches your nub, you jolt. You wrap your legs around him and bring him closer. He does it again, this time pressing the head of his cock down to apply pressure. 

You reason he's doing this on purpose. Making your pussy squelch and your hips jolt to try and get him inside. As much as you hate to admit it, he's good with his dick. Teasing you by slowly dragging the fat of his head down your slit, slapping his tip and your wet cunt. You're annoyingly reminded of what he said days ago; 'I can make a girl cum. I just don't care to.'

The words echo in your mind and you scrunch your nose. "God, fuck! Stop pissing me off and put it in already."

For a moment, you think he's going to defy you. His tip trails lower and lower until it's against your entrance. Seungmin steadies his cock at the base and pushes forwards, barely spreading you open. "Didn't think I'd ever hear you begging for my cock," he smiles at you teasingly. "You were being such a feminist the other day. What happened?"

Not-so-nice words begin to form in your head and before you get the chance to spew them out, Seungmin pushes all the way in. His cock stretches you out more than you anticipated, and it's whines that leave your lips instead. He doesn't give you the chance to adjust as he pulls nearly all the way, save for his tip, before slamming back in. Your entire body jolts and you whimper again. 

Your pussy can't keep up with his pace, but you hardly mind the pain. It blurs into white pleasure that burns hot in your cunt. 

"You hear that?" Seungmin pants through his thrusts. "That's the sound of your pussy getting fucked by an...what was it again? An incel?" He laughs as your eyes darken with anger, seething with a type of emotion you're not too familiar with. 

You reach out the grip his wrist that's placed on the side of the couch, digging your nails into his flesh. Seungmin hardly notices the pain, his teeth shining in his shit-eating smile.

The words are stuck in your throat. You want no more than to tell Seungmin how much of an ass he is, that his cock is merely adequate, but you can't. Every drag of his length rubs against your walls deliciously. You can practically feel every vein on him as he fucks you raw. He makes your hot pussy even hotter and he, unfortunately for you, keeps dragging his cock against that sweet spot deep inside you.

"You," a breath from you, "are a dick."

Strangely enough, your words seem to spur him on more. He tears his hand from your iron grip to place them both under your hips. Seungmin angles your hips upwards and drives forward, shoving his cock unbelievably deeper. Your hands shoot up to your face, trying to block all sounds of pleasure, but Seungmin can hear them. He can hear the gasping behind your fingers, the high-pitched moans muffled in your hands. 

Seungmin laughs, but it sounds winded. "A dick huh? That's funny. You seem to like being fucked by one."

It occurs to you that you've been too lenient on him. Letting him eat the very same pussy he's thrusting into, letting him fuck you raw. His attitude needs some shaping.

You let him keep fucking you. You let his cock throb and twitch in your pussy. He's close, but he's doing good at holding back. Seungmin must be used to dumping his cum and leaving, but he seems to hold out just for you. It's cute, but your plan is better. 

Your head bounces with every thrust. Seungmin makes sure to keep his long fingers at your clit the entire time, switching between pinching and flicking against it. It helps to build your second orgasm. Your jaw falls open and your moans become more frequent.

"Shit," he breathes. "Pussy gripping me so tight. Is someone gonna cum again?"

Blinking up at him, you nod. Your hand grips your chest, squeezing your boobs underneath the material as you keep nodding. "Mhm. Keep fucking my pussy and I'll cream all over your cock." That does it for him. Seungmin has been holding back his orgasm so much that his ears feel like they might burst. 

With new vigor, he fucks into you harder, deeper. Seungmin doesn't try to hide the animalistic sounds he makes, groaning and moaning as your walls wrap around his cock. "You want my cum, huh? Acting all big and strong when it's you're begging for it. Say it. Tell me you want my cum."

You don't, not because you're prideful, but because you can't. He's thrusting into you so roughly that words seem to leave you. His hand pulls your clit roughly, and the harsh tug drives you over the edge. You squeeze your breasts so tightly to anchor yourself. You can feel how your pussy floods with your cum, leaving your legs trembling and shaking. 

Seungmin can feel it too. The pulsing, the wetness. It's enough to finally let him release. His balls tighten, his dick twitches, and he-

"Pull out."

Seungmin doesn't know why he listens. He was so close to his orgasm, he could still taste it on his tongue. But your demand outweighs his need to cum. With a wail, he pulls out. A small whimper makes its way past you as he finally slips out, cock shining in your cum. 

His cock is red, rubbed nearly raw from how good he was keeping himself at bay. You can see the head of his cock pulsing, worse than the first time you saw it. A wicked smile finds your lips. 

"Do you remember what I said earlier, Seungie?" You speak with artificial gentleness. Seungmin is too busy trying not to cum, squeezing the base of his cock almost painfully. You have to repeat your question before he finally looks up to you. "Huh? About what?"

"About who gets to cum," you remind him. "Who is it that gets to cum tonight?"

Seungmin thinks back about how you presented your cunt to him, bare and wet. He briefly recalls how you said something about being the only one to cum, but he was so entranced by your sweet pussy that he hardly cared.

He frowns, face flushed. "But that's not fair! I ate you out. You came on my tongue. You came on my dick. I'm so hard and-"

"And that doesn't matter," you interrupt him. "I never said you can cum. That's your fault for assuming you could." You have to bite back you smile at his pitiful reaction.

Even with his dejected look, you can't help but find it somewhat cute. You fake a pout and click your tongue, "Poor thing. Here, kisses will make you feel better."

Seungmin wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't you widening your legs and him falling to his knees. Yet, he does just that. You feel his warm, wet tongue on your throbbing clit. Sucking and licking eagerly like he forgot about the aching cock between his legs. 

You fondly brush the hair from his face as he eats you out for the second time tonight. His eyes look up to you with your clit in your mouth and you shiver. Seungmin will be a handful for sure, but you can't help but think you've found the perfect diamond in the rough.

a/n: omfg I actually had a whole different idea but I scraped it and did this instead :p. if you wanna ask for a third part, please don't, I have no more plot for this fic tags: @mynsung, @andassortedkpop, @jminnnnnnn, @geneziesm, @applekiwi3202, @i6gyuu, @lazycarolinamoment, @lewoh-ot8-wh0re, @ihave-atummyache, @seeeeking-skz, @loeyscock, @blankdyean, @dini-recs, @yzsqu, @desirehorizon-recsextra a/n: I need to start asking if people want tags rather than looking through my comments and see who was asking for a pt 2 :(