joblovv

[sobinsrentedcorner]

big fan of epileptic designs, looks like shit i'm a fan

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

where the shit does all this smoke keep coming from

it’s fine one day and then you wake up and overnight it’s become a little nebulous up there in the sky. and then the next day it’s gone away overnight it’s perfectly clear. and then you wake up the next day and oh shit ae can’t see anything past aey backyard

how does that happen how does smoke just swoop in overnight and then disappear like that

[vers-1]

Spotify wrapped day

Jump scared me, didn’t kno I was gonna get that today. And I want to be mad at it and I am. It’s so NPC of me to have the songs and genres I got

Also???? How much hozier have I been listening to?? Cause there’s no way I’d be even close to a top listener and why him??? Not complaint just confused

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Spear baby: (is crying/being fussy)

Vaggie: (0:35-0:43) https://youtu.be/10oPGM2_ZAc?si=udKrX2fwrUDpP14O

Vaggie: (rocking baby) "Rock. Rock. Rock. Maternal gesture."

Husk: "Woof."

Cherri Bomb: "Yikes."

Niffty: (gleeful) "I'm in paaaaain!"

Vaggie: (annoyed) "What?"

Angel Dust: "'s not an incantation or magical girl attack move, Vaggie van Gay, ya can't just say Maternal Gesture! an' expect the kid to absorb a blast of loving family energies or whatever."

Vaggie: "Wow thanks and here I thought it was actually working and them screaming LOUDER was a good thing. Got any better ideas?"

Charlie: "Maaaybe if you tried singing to them?"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "...sleeeep little baby, shut up and don't cry... uh, one of your moms is hot, and other only has just one eye..."

Hotel Crew: (cringing.jpeg)

Charlie: "Maybe I should do the singing."

Vaggie: "What? Why? That was, educational right?"

Charlie: "Childhood education usually starts with like, um, shapes, single words! Basic emotions..."

Angel Dust: "Gay is a very basic emotion."

Charlie: "...body positivity and confidence building..."

Cherri Bomb: "The eye thing."

Vaggie: "What eye thing- I DO only have one-"

Husk: "And saying it like it's the opposite of your hot girlfriend?"

Cherri Bomb: "Yeah like, rude much?"

Niffty: "Don't pass on the self hate to the baby! Give it to meeeeeeeee~"

Vaggie: "Fff- fine okay, point made. I'm not good at baby lyrics."

Charlie: "Aww Vaggie noo- why don't you try just, singing like you would for me? Like when I'm scared."

Vaggie: "For you?"

Angel Dust: "Bit early for givin' a sex education innit- Youch!"

Husk: "Shut it."

Cherri Bomb: "Don't ruin the freaking mood!!"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (slow breath) (low humming)

Vaggie: "...you've, already found so much. So many hearts you've bound- so many lives you've touched."

Baby: (goes quiet)

Vaggie: "And~ in~ the ennnd... if it's all I have to say...."

Charlie: "More than anything~"

Baby: (staring up at them)

Vaggie: "More than anything... need you to know, I love you more than anything."

Charlie & Vaggie: "More than anything..."

Their baby: (sighs) (snuggles into vaggie's shoulder) (falls asleep)

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (whispers) "... charlie?"

Charlie: (whispers back) "...yeah?"

Vaggie: "I don't wanna wake them up again but uh... I can't feel my arms."

Charlie: "Oh!" (giggling) "C'mon. Let's sit down. I'll hold you, while you hold them, so you don't have to be the only one holding them. Okay?"

Vaggie: (half listening) (busy staring at baby) "Okay. Sounds good."

Husk: (SNIFFLES LOUDLY)

Charlie: "....we'll do that aaaaafter everyone else goes back to what they were doing, that is."

Hotel Crew: (grumbles and leaves, using husk's wings as tissues)

They get a package from heaven later, after Cherri smuggles a recording of a moment to Sir Pentious via Lucifer and Emily. He sent them a music box (apple shaped of course) (no sharp edges)

When they open it, two little figures of them spin together with the baby snuggle between them, and the instrumental of their "more than anything" reprise starts playing softly. their baby is fascinated and holds it tight in their tiny claws, even long after they're fast asleep

[serialkilluh1996]

❀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒❀

Stu Macher x Nerdy-male-reader

Stu is a very pushy boyfriend, but this time, he's pushed his fucking luck and crossed a line.

Warnings: Angst, death, slight gore, multiple mentions of SA, arguing, contact me if I need to add more.

Proshippers, Comshippers DNI

It wasn't hard making friends when it came to you. Yeah, you were a considerably nerdy guy who preferred to stay home and watch movies and read, and you certainly weren't some dashing Adonis who had a way with words, but you had a certain style, a strange charisma, that attracted people to you.

It's how you met, or, as people call it, "bagged" your boyfriend, Stu. He was a pretty fun guy. Always optimistic, and down to just about anything. The issue with him was boundaries. He had a bad habit of trying to push past yours.

Like now, for example. Throwing on some old orange flannel he'd given you as a gift, tightening the belt on your light boot cut jeans to with mild irritation to get ready for one of Stu's parties.

You hated parties. He knew this, but somehow, he always managed to manipulate you into going. With his pouty lips, his cartoonishly sad voices, and his puppy eyes, there was almost nothing he couldn't get you to do for him.

You knew this, and you never did much to resist. Cognitive dissonance, really.

"I don't know what you see in that clown." Your friend, and Stu's number one hater, Clyde scolds you, standing in the doorway of your bedroom as you get dressed. "It's not for you to see. It's for me to see. That's why he's my boyfriend." You joke, tying your shoes.

"I don't trust him, dude. He doesn't really respect you." He leans against the doorframe. "He respects me." You retort, standing up. "Until he doesnt get what he wants." Clyde raises an eyebrow. "I don't need you to be my dating coach."

"I'm not trying to be your dating coach, I'm trying to be your friend. And as your friend, I'm supposed to be supportive and honest with you. I've been supportive already, and now it's time to be honest. He's not good for you. He's slowly but surely pushing your boundaries and one of these days he's gonna convince you to do something you REALLY don't wanna do." Clyde sits up as you walk past him and out of your room.

"☆☆☆, I'm serious," he follows behind you, "the party may seem like a small inconvenience, but he's only doing small things first to test your layers."

You grab your car keys, ignoring his words. "You know, I don't need this right now." You turn around. "No, ☆☆☆. You need this a lot more than you think." Clydes eyes squint with anticipation. "I'll go with you." He offers. "To third wheel my date?" You tease him.

"Oh, puh-lease. It's a party. He'll never suspect me anyway. I'll just... keep my distance. But I'm not letting you go alone to some drug infested fuckfest full of college boys with little to no morals so he can spike your drink and let God knows who do God knows what to you." He stands in front of the door.

You wince at his words. "Yikes, Clyde. I get being concerned but you're getting too comfortable with these accusations."

"You're right, you're right. I went too far. But still, just let me go with you." Clyde begs. You sigh. "Get in the car and don't say another word about him." He nods in compliance as you both walk out, locking the door behind you.

You fold your arms as you walk past all the pre-inebriated. "Ugh, the party started twenty minutes ago and these people are already high as a kite." He pouts.

"POOKIE!" Stu yells out, tackling you with a hug that you don't return as your arms are folded. "Seriously, Stu?" You raise a brow.

"Don't be such a downer, honeybun. It's a par-tayyy. You need to let loose." He boops your nose. "Hey, Clyde." He says flatly, rubbing a hand across his face. Clyde frowns. "The fuck off me." He swats his hands. "Youch, Clyde. Still sore because I asked first?"

"Asked what first?" You ask, Clyde looking ready to burst. "Come onnn. I wanna show you somethin'." He pulls you towards the stares. "But, Clyde–" "Clyyyyde can wait." He kisses your forehead, pulling you along up the stairs.

Clyde pouts as he takes you away, struggling to hold back frustration as he knew what was about to go down. Stu didn't deserve you. He storms past some unlucky lady, causing her to slightly spill her drink as he slides into the garage.

He grabs a beer out of the fridge, bringing it to his mouth and slurping it down with only a quarter of his usual manners. "Fuck!" He exclaims, throwing the glass down and watching it shatter and fizz with the beer. It wasn't fair. He's wanted you so long. He's respectful, supportive, he adores you. And you choose some skeezer like Stu.

And just when he thought his luck couldn't get any worse, his phone rang. With a huff, he answers. "Yeah?"

Stu presses you against the bathroom sink, standing crotch to crotch against you as he tugged at your belt. You put a hand on his chest, pushing him back with what little energy you had, your half empty cup of liquor sitting on the sink. "What's the problem?" He asks, now slightly bothered by your resistance.

"You're going too fast." "I'll slow down, baby." "No, I mean us– this relationship– I don't think we're this far yet." "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Stu, I–" your heart drops at the sound of a man screaming. You push him a way and back into the wall, running out of the bedroom. Scurrying down the stairs as you fix your pants, your startled by what you see.

Clyde stumbles into the living room, swatting his left hand, the right clenching his heart as blood spilled past it. He gargled incoherently, falling limp onto the couch. "Clyde!" You shriek, running down to his side.

"Clyde, buddy, talk to me." You shake him, pulling his hand away to see the myriad of stab wounds to his chest. You scoff in shock, your breath catching in your throat to see his eyes empty, lifeless. "What the fuck?!" You curse, backing away. "Clyde!!!"

You lay on your side in your bed. Tears are streaming down your face. It's been hours, but it feels like days have passed. You tremble quietly, sniffling. God, you should've listened to him.

Your phone rings. You don't want to answer. You don't want to live. Nothing even had purpose anymore. Your best friend, gone without a goodbye, and someone had the nerve to be calling you, as if they wouldn't have plenty more time to talk.

You snatch it off the line.

"☆☆☆, baby–" "No!" You interrupt Stu, fury filling you in an instant as you recognize his voice. "This is all your fault, damn it. I told you I didn't like parties! You always do this to me! You never respect my boundaries, man!"

"..I... I do respect you.." "No, you don't! Just last night, I had to force you off of me in the bathroom and when I told you I wasn't comfortable, you KEPT. PUSHING! WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU WOULDVE DONE HAD I BEEN ANY DRUNKER?!"

"Aww, dude, honey, you know I would...I would never do anything like that to you..." he sounds so genuinely bad, almost hurt by your words.

"Clyde is dead, Stuart! He's dead! He ain't coming back!"

"..I know.." "No, you DON'T. You don't know ANYTHING! THE ONLY THING YOU KNOW IS TO BEG AND PUSH TIL YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT!"

"I DIDN'T KILL CLYDE!" "I DON'T KNOW THAT!"

The line goes quiet, and the only thing you can hear is the static.

" What are you trying to say, ☆☆☆?" "I'm breaking up with you. I can't do this with you anymore. I can't keep begging you for basic respect in this relationship. I'm tired and I'm scared and for all I know, you could've done this."

"No, baby, no. Please, no. Please, don't do this." His firm words turn into pleading whimpers. "I'm sorry, but I've made my decision." You hang up the phone. And Stu stands there, the line buzzing as tears run down his face.

You can support me by liking, commenting, reblogging, and/or cashapping me @fundsbrownie. Donations are optional, but much appreciated. Have fun! And remember, take care of yourself.

[colibrie]

Mosaic Moments

Prompt 1: Suprise quiz and Saved by the bell.(Donnie and Leo)

Based on art by @trilobitepunch

"Leonardo."

"Donatello. Donathon. Donnie-doodle. Dontron. DeeDee. D-youch! Whyyyyy?!"

Donatello rolled his eyes as he tucked his bo back into its spot on his shell. He turned away, pacing a few steps until he was strategically placed at the optimum angle to block the TV.

"Now that I have your undivided attention, dearest dumb-dumb and deralict leader, I can announce that it is time."

"Huh?" Leo blinked, scowling as he rubbed his head and tried to lean around Donnie to see the screen. "Time for you to be unbearably annoying? Hate to break it to you egghead, but I think that's just a constant state for you."

"It is time," he continued, ignoring his twin, "for an examination regarding your recall of the field call signs as designated by the Genius tech (tm) handbook."

"The wh... no...."

"That's right. It is time," he paused for dramatic effect, quietly savoring the growing wave of dread behind him, "for a suprise quiz!"

He whirled on his heel, arms crossing as the fingers of one hand rose to frame the cheshire smile splitting his face. He took a second to revel in the panic written into the fine print of his twins expression before commencing.

"What is B-52/001?"

"Uuuhhhh"

"In what scenario should you employ a 009-DU10?"

"Erm...?"

"When should you provide your brilliant, suave, handsome brother Donatello with uranium?"

"Never."

"Incorrect!" He yelled, subtly pushing a button on his wrist brace. He permitted himself exactly one internal giggle of delight when an expertly hidden water gun nailed his errant brother in the side of the head. He'd have to screenprint that one later.

"Bleh! Uggggh, Donnie what the shell?!"

"Oh there is more where that came from dearest brother. Next round. There is one last piece of perfectly delicious pizza left. Do you activate a R49, an M1K, or a D03?"

"What answer doesn't get me hit with water?"

"Ah bup bup! No cheating! You have 5 seconds."

"Wait, since when was this timed?!"

"3...2..."

The screech of an alarm, one of his own, split the air.

"Oh no!" Leo gasped, flipping up and over the back of the couch, "a motion alarm providing a convenient excuse to be anywhere but here! Don't worry Donbon I am alllllllll over it! "

"Leonardo we are not-"

"Sorry, can't hear you!" Leo replied cheerily, flicking Donnie and jaunty two finger salute and grin as one katana flashed, tearing open a signature sky blue portal, "maybe ask Raph!"

[barrenclan]

I was about to say ‘maybe Malmo would suit Barrenclan’ but uh Rainhaze isn’t looking too hot and youch

ANYWAYS I think the song Malmo by Moon might suit Barrenclan as I mentioned before, specifically the popular part (it’s always the popular part)

Three of us sleep next to three others

(Not sure who it’d match)

It's hot and we rot in this oven

(referring to Barrenclan’s environment)

Now there's something about the language

(followed by next part, but maybe Rainhaze about the welcoming of death or injury in Defiance)

Something about these people

(Pinepaw with the new scar or maybe Corm or maybe Rain. I think they could all decently match??)

That look an awful lot like me

(Same as before, Pinepaw with the new scar or maybe Corm or maybe Rain. maybe even talking about Slug right now too)

I'm surprisingly accepting of this discomfort

(Why I said Rain is at this point (right before death but close enough) is because he didn’t seem to mind it anymore)

But I'm not trying to be much of a person right now

(don’t know)

I'm just trying to get some sleep

(Pine with the nightmares and now grief. also with the shock.)

Not sure if these actually match but they seem close enough and I’m very tired anyways OH MY RAIN HOLY BDDBXBBBDB

Wow, Paul Dano is in this band? That's cool. I like your analysis of the lyrics!

Why it's an absolute classic! In terms of characters I think it fits Deepdark a bit better than Rainhaze, though.

Do I even need the lyrics for I Can't Decide?

ANOTHER classic! I like this one sort of swapping off between Slugpelt and Rainhaze, where he's trying to get her to come back to him in their youth, but now it's flipped the other way.

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof? You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you

The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken Remember the pact of our youth Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you

This one's been suggested a couple times, but I still really like it with Slugpelt, so here it is again.

I don't this it has! Ah, I recognize it from IncuriousCat, of course. They're very popular on this blog it seems. Rainhaze is a good character for song about making bad deals.

I'ma make a deal with the bad wolf So the bad wolf don't bite no more

My enemy is a friend of mine in a friendly place to be seen, hey You know I'll run away for a couple years just to prove I've never been free

Has Ride the Cyclone has a re-emergence? I feel like I've seen it a lot lately. It's nice to have a song with old BarrenClan anyways, before all the tragedy and drama.

What the world needs Is people like me To keep it all spinning around I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

He put it into words, and it's plain to see We need a little less of them A little more of me!

Yeah, I think you could chuck this in a Rainhazeward direction!

All this time, I've felt like my time to go would arrive That it can't last forever; I've been decaying Moldy scaffolding, ritual strangling No matter what I try, I seem to stay alive

My body should be cold The eyes of maggots gazing through to my soul I left so long ago Behind me are the tears I couldn't control

HOORAY! I'm a big Pink Floyd fan. It'd be so cool to see a "Trial" scene with him as Pink and all the other characters as the other roles.

Day after day, the love turns gray Like the skin of a dying man And night after night, we pretend it's all right But I have grown older, and you have grown colder And nothing is very much fun any more

Oooh, Bauhaus! Also a big fan of them. That's a good alternate voice claim for Deepdark, too.

Thank you, it is! I'm always taking more song asks, of which I have got quite a few. I'm glad you like the comic!

May you die wide awake With a look of great surprise May your eyes be taken just Before you can weep As you see what you stole stolen from you <- yuuuup rainhaze

Aww, that makes me sad. But it does fit well with them.

I dreamt I found you hanging I didn't know what it meant Your eyes would follow me through Everywhere I went

The window on the fifth floor Shattered as you wept What am I witnessing? What stories have you kept?

Damn ran outta links, I thought I got it this time

[legolasghosty]

"There's a cactus in my car..." is giving me Willex vibes for sure.

Hehehe okay here you are! With... pretty darn close to the original context.

It was in the fridge first. Alex opened it one morning to get out the milk and there it was, on the top shelf, wearing that sleepy smile he's now become quite familiar with. He'd just stood there for at least a minute, shivering in his pajamas in front of the open fridge as he stared at it. Willie had entered the room a moment later and busted up laughing.

Apparently it had been a gag gift from some friend of theirs. Willie claimed it, "Added enrichment to their enclosure." Alex wasn't totally sure about that. But he chuckled anyway and went on with his day.

The next time, it was in the medicine cabinet in their bathroom. Alex, still half asleep, went to grab his toothbrush and found the mirror already partially ajar, held out an inch from the frame by the soft, creamy white 'pot'. He'd laughed that time, less confused by its existence. He'd taken a picture and sent it to Willie, who'd left early for work, claiming it must have borrowed their toothbrush.

When he found it in the microwave a few days later, he decided it was time to get revenge. He re-hid it under one of Willie's hoodies and went about his day. It became a Thing after that. One would hide it, the other would find it somewhere in their home and move it. It became a part of their routine, like going grocery shopping on Tuesdays and sleeping in together on Fridays. One more part of their daily existences twined together in a way that made Alex's chest feel all floaty.

----------

Alex stares into the back of the van. He really shouldn't be as surprised as he is. Willie has found all sorts of insane places to put it, from tucked into their bed to hanging by its fluffy little feet from a light fixture. And yet, the thought that Willie would have figured out a way to make it follow him to the band's out of town gig in San Fransisco never crossed his mind.

"Hey Alex, something wrong with the gear?" Luke asks, coming around the side, already nearly vibrating out of his skin with energy.

Alex shakes his head quickly. "Nope," he answers, voice pitched a bit higher than he intended.

"Then let's get stuff unloaded," Luke decides, moving past him to reach for his beloved guitar case. Then he freezes, apparently spying their little stowaway. "Uh. What is that?"

Alex shrugs helplessly, then bursts into giggles. He can't help it. The whole thing is just too random and so deeply Willie. They'd gotten all of their gear into the van the day before, so Willie must have snuck it in sometime between dinner last night and when they left LA early this morning.

"What are we staring at?" Julie mumbles as she joins them behind the van, stifling a yawn.

Luke points to it silently. Alex pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of it, nestled just right between his kick and the cymbals.

"What even is that?" Julie questions, rubbing at her eyes. Alex sometimes envies her the ability to sleep in moving vehicles.

"It's Willie's," Alex explains. "Long story." He leans forward and collects the little plush. "Don't worry about it."

Reggie comes back just then with one of the venue people right behind him. "Good news, we can unload right here," he announces, before catching sight of Alex's little friend. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Awesome, thanks Reg," Alex says quickly, avoiding the question. He ducks back into the front seat and sets the visitor down beside his duffle bag.

He can hear his friends laughing behind him, but he ignores it in favor of pulling his phone out.

Alex - There's a cactus in my car.Willie <3 - Wow, weird! You really gotta clean that thing out more often if things are growing in it...Alex - Yep, got some prickers in my hands getting it out.Willie <3 - Youch! Be careful up there in the wild north!Alex - Will do. Love you <3And thanks <3Willie <3 - Love you too, have a good show!

Alex sends back a cactus emoji and the photo he'd taken of the stuffed potted plant in the trunk, then rejoins his band with a smile and a little more energy in his step. Leave it to Willie to make him feel cared for with a stuffed plant in the back of a van. He wouldn't have it any other way.

(The cactus in question)

[crissiebaby]

Million Diaper Baby: Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: This story contains diaper usage, humiliation, domination, sissification, chastity, masturbation/diaper sex, and other ABDL themes. I hope you enjoy!

Commissioned By: Gun1242

-------------------------------------------------------------

*THUMP! THUMP-THUMP!*

Holding up a pair of punching mitts, Matthew did his best to ignore his overtly feminine attire while serving as Amy’s dutiful sparring partner. His pink dress, made of lace and taffeta, severely contrasted the target gloves and protective headgear, the latter of which he was thankful to hide his blushy face behind. If only he could say the same for his regulation boxing diaper, which was on prominent display beneath the hem of his short, frilly outfit. The noisy article was even more obnoxious than usual without a pair of gym shorts to dampen the sound. Adding to his distress was the wet itch of makeup that saturated his sweaty face. He was lucky Amy used waterproof products so it wasn’t running into his eyes, though that also meant his face stayed “pretty” throughout the entire day. And to think, this was only day one of seven. Amy’s punches were certainly fierce but no impact would ever land as fatal a blow as the one she delivered to his ego.

Meanwhile, Amy was having the time of her life squaring up against her sissified bestie. It wasn’t that she felt zero guilt for what she was doing to Matthew and his image around the gym. It was merely that the guilty part of herself was greatly overshadowed by how amusingly cathartic it all was. Every day since she was old enough to train alongside Matthew, she’d been reminded time and time again that she would never measure up to him, or any other guy for that matter. If only those same naysayers could see her now.

*DING! DING!*

“Fighters! Trade out!” announced the gym’s manager, clearing the rings to allow the next set of boxers to spar.

Relaxing his stance, Matthew made a beeline for the ropes. Never before had he been so happy to hear the final bell toll. It had been a grueling twelve hours of back-and-forth workouts, brawling, and waiting on Amy's hand and foot, the latter of which was by far the most energy-draining. Still, regardless of what Amy had planned for the six days he had left on his sentence, the first was officially in the books.

“Ahem!”

Matthew began stepping between the ropes, only to pause at the sound of Amy’s grating voice. “Well? Aren’t you going to hold those open for me?” she said, gesturing at the ropes in his hands.

Ignoring the ardent jeers being lobbed at him from anyone in earshot, Matthew glared at Amy as he stepped aside and stretched the ropes wide enough for Her Highness to step through. No matter how hard he tried not to let these little moments get to him, it was the condescending tone she used when ordering him around that truly got on his nerves. “Really milking this for everything it's worth, huh?” he said snidely, attempting to dampen whatever satisfaction Amy was getting from this.

“Oh, Matti-cakes, if you think this is milking it, you’ve got a big storm coming,” responded Amy as she squatted between the ropes. Midway through, she allowed her back foot to kick the rope out from under Matthew’s foot, dislodging it and causing the elastic to snap back to its original position, “Oops!”

*TWIP!*

“GAH!” grunted Matthew, forced to cling to the top rope as the middle one slammed against the base of his diaper. The padding did provide some level of protection but not enough to make it painless. His body slowly rag-dolled to the ground.

Covering her mouth and feigning innocence, Amy rushed to Matthew’s aid. “Youch! Sorry about that,” she said, patting his head in the least soothing way possible, “But hey, look at it this way. At least you know you’re still a guy under all this.” Her fingers teasingly picked at the frilly shoulders of his dress.

Swatting Amy’s doting hands away, Matthew attempted to sit up, only for Amy to immediately pull him back to the floor. “Ugh, c’mon,” he muttered, feebly pawing upward like a turtle on its back. The indentured servitude schtick was bad enough without literally being pushed around schoolyard bully style. Sadly, there was little he could do to fight back since his hands were tapped into thickly padded target gloves.

*CUP!*

Matthew gasped as Amy’s hand abruptly planted itself against the front of his diaper. “My Goddess! I’m shocked you’re not leaking with how soaked this thing is,” she stated loudly and proudly, acting as though she hadn’t refused to give Matthew a single bathroom break. Her cruel, greedy smile expanded as Matthew’s cock stiffened beneath her palm, “Ya know, Mama Amy would be happy to change her baby girl’s diapee. I bet my Matti-cakes would like that lots.” Her performative behavior quickly garnered attention from many of the gym’s attendees, and unlike before, the gymnasium was nearly at capacity.

Curling his arms around his head to mask how flustered he was, Matthew knew shoving Amy’s hand away would expose his boner to everyone gawking at the two of them. The last thing he needed was for anyone to believe he enjoyed Amy’s sissy baby treatment. Caught between a rock and a hard-on, he could do nothing but lie flat and pray that Amy would take pity on him for once.

Unfortunately, Amy had a million thoughts swirling around in her mind, and not a single one of them was merciful. “Roman, would you be so kind as to retrieve my duffle bag?” she said as she watched the gym revolve around her like clockwork, bending to whatever whim popped into her head next.

Lifting his arms from his face, Matthew’s heart skipped a beat as Amy’s heavy gym bag was plopped down next to his head. “What’s going-” he said, silenced immediately by Amy’s pointer finger pressing into his lips. Amy had certainly had her fun up to this point but there was no way she was going to do something as depraved as changing his diaper in front of the entire gym…right? The answer to that question appeared to be a resounding yes as he watched her pull a soft, plastic rectangle out of her bag of goodies. He lunged forward in an attempt to get up only for Barry’s fat hand to plant itself against his chest, gluing him to the floor. He wasn’t going anywhere until Amy said so. “This is messed up, Amy!”

“Oh, hush. What’s a diaper change between friends?” said Amy, brushing aside Matthew’s well-justified concern as tore the tapes off his diaper one by one.

Matthew opened his mouth to protest only for a pacifier to invade his oral cavity, halting his speech. He gagged as his tongue lapped up whatever strawberry-flavored jelly seemed to be coated around the bulb, which was by far his least favorite flavor. 

“Quit your yapping. You freeball around the locker room without a care in the world. It’s nothing we haven’t seen already,” quipped Barry, referring to Matthew’s shamelessness when it came to locker room shower etiquette. He took joy in nudging the binky back into place anytime Matthew tried to spit it out.

Squirming in place, Matthew was helpless to do anything but avert his gaze as the front of his diaper was pulled open. “Dude! Haha! You’re not actually supposed to use your diaper!” “No fucking way! Is he hard?” “I think we’re gonna need a new Welterweight champ after this.” The mocking and opportunistic voices of his toughest competitors swarmed him, eating away at the last vestiges of his reputation as Amy proceeded to thoroughly wipe down the length of his diaper area.

“I hope you know that this would go a lot faster if you’d quit wiggling,” said Amy, playfully slapping at Matthew’s erection with a wet wipe before rubbing the length of it multiple times over. Her smirk was impermeable as she whisked away the droplet of precum that had formed at the tip.

For as miserable as Matthew was, it was hard to deny how euphoric Amy’s diligent fingers felt. His breathing became shaky and haggard as she mopped away the urine that had soaked into his crotch with a cool, soothing wipe. Gritting his teeth against the rubber pacifier, he opened his mind up to the dismally somber concepts of war, famine, pestilence, and death in hopes of easing back his saber from its battle-ready stance.

Thankfully, Amy didn’t hold on scrubbing Matthew's cock longer than necessary, her hands instead moving southward to continue cleaning. Using her free hand to grip both of his ankles together and hoist them high, she ran a second wipe down his grundle and in between his untouched booty cheeks. His adorable reaction to her teasing his little hole for a split second further fueled her inner sadist. It wasn’t her intention to awaken anything inside herself but sexual domination was something she could see herself delving more into. Armed with a kinky hypothesis to test, she returned to her duffle bag, curling her lips inward as she examined the vast array of fetish products gifted to her by CrissBaby in her welcome package.

With his legs back on the ground, Matthew prayed that his diaper change was nearing its end. However, he soon realized this would not be the case as he spotted Amy removing a pair of CrissBaby’s trademarked changing products from her bag: a half-used container of CrissBaby Infinity Powder, which was an adult baby powder designed for extending wearing, and a full bottle of CrissBaby Dreamy Cream, an aphrodisiac-infused diaper lotion.

Not that Matthew was familiar with either product. Typically, boxers simply utilize an odorless talcum powder to prevent chafing from their diaper. As such, he was oblivious to all the different lotions and powders involved with changing a literal baby. He wanted to refuse and ask for his usual powder but for some odd reason, he found it impossible to cease suckling on the pacifier between his lips. It was as if his anxiety jolted anytime his sucking slowed. What was Amy doing to him?!

*SQUISH!*

In an instant, Matthew’s resistant thoughts were vaporized as his stiffy was unceremoniously coated with a handful of creamy lotion. He had barely held it together when she came at him with the wet wipe. That pleasurably prickly sensation one feels before an orgasm radiated around his cock like a rapidly spreading wildfire, causing his hips to buck against Amy’s hand.

“Uh oh, I think someone’s starting to like having his diaper changed,” taunted Amy, leaving Matthew with blue balls as she shifted away from his penis after a few seconds. Men were known for possessing only a single load, and she didn’t want him wasting his just yet. Depositing another several squirts of lotion onto her fingertips, she again collected Matthew’s ankles and moved to lather him up from taint to tailbone.

Though, it was Matthew’s tailpipe that ended up seeing the most attention. In the midst of buttering up his rear crevasse, a cruel desire arose within Amy. It was his doleful yet huffy expression that did her in. She couldn’t get enough of that timid look in his eyes. She needed more. Bunching her index and middle fingers together, she swiftly and secretly jabbed at Matthew’s colon.

“WUHH?!” muttered Matthew from behind his pacifier as a shockwave of aching arousal laid waste to his weakened lower half. It was only momentary but the impression Amy’s digits whipped his already withered mental state up into a frenzy. Unbeknownst to him were the effects that the various CrissBaby products were having on his body, specifically the lotion, which lingered to stimulate his prostate even after Amy’s fingers had fully retreated. Tangled within a spider’s web of lustful prurience, he gasped with eyes as wide as dinner plates as he began adding to the amount of white cream in his diaper.

The crowd was once again launched into an uproar over Matthew’s mortifying bodily reaction. Each spurt of jizz elevated the volume of their incessant cackling. Not a soul among them held a shred of respect for Mr. 19 and 0 any longer.

“Whoopsie-daisy. Looks like someone had a little accident,” cooed Amy, twisting the knife further as she mopped up the lines of cum drizzled across Matthew’s lower tummy, “Good thing I have a solution that should nip your teensy problem in the bud.” The male chorus at Amy’s back cheered viciously as she plucked a small, pink chastity cage from her gym bag and waved it around for Matthew to see.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Edited by AllySmolShork

Special Thanks to Our CrissBaby Diaper Company Investors: BlushyBen DD JFN Nike PrincessKittenLizzi SissyDina Strawberry Sweetsamantharebecca & One Anonymous Investor

[mukimokai]

we can be gay besties but youre the one that constantly has to put up with my fangirling over kaveh and alhaitham teehee

hGsgdudgv youch my eyes hurt i should go to bed /joe hawleu reference

its okay bro

i too squeal about fictional characters an unhealthy amount

[fireflyflarenight]

Dark in CRK concept art

Once upon a time, fireflyflarenight randomly thought, hmm... What if TDL in CRK??????

Here are the results of that thought

The Gacha sprite? [Quality kinda bad, sorry]

This would probably be one of the story sprites?

crk stats and descriptions

You see something in the distance. Someone, rather. They're floating, high above the raging amber flames that consume the ruins of the city. It's the infamous internet terrorist, The Dark Lord! With hands full of fire and an aura that inflicts terror, they have destroyed countless websites and lives. Their overwhelming power renders them unstoppable. Recently, however, they have been suspiciously quiet. Is the internet safe at last or are they plotting something terrible?

type: charge

position: front

rarity: legendary [or Super Epic]

skill: [how do you come up with a skill name???]

The Dark Lord slashes the opponents within range with their blades, deleting parts of the opposing team's code. The corrosive nature of the attack dispels all buffs and inflicts stun and shock debuffs while increasing CRIT DMG received and decreasing DEF. The Dark Lord gains CRIT%, CRIT DMG, and healing. The Dark Lord's ATK SPD increases if The Chosen One is on the opposing team. If The Chosen One is on The Dark Lord's team, DMG focus will be activated (The Dark Lord reduces The Chosen One's DMG received and takes a portion of the DMG received by The Chosen One.) and The Chosen One will gain DEF and healing buffs. When using this skill, they become temporarily immune to interrupting effects.

Soulstone Description: This stone holds a piece of The Dark Lord's soul. Youch! It gave you a static shock. [???]

Debuffs given to opposing team: Injury, Fatal wound, DEF Down, Shock, CRIT DMG Received Up, Stun, Dispel [Should injury and fatal wound be replaced by data corruption?]

Buffs: CRIT% Up, CRIT DMG Up, Healing Up

Random things I want to say:

These stats aren't very balanced. Dark deletes your buffs, stuns you, and reduces your max hp. That feels incredibly unfair.

^I thought it would be funny if I gave Dark cutesy eyes^

^me using scratch instead of a normal drawing app^

Some of the writing in this post might be questionable because I have a low English grade :D

Also, I used they/them pronouns for this goofy stick because yes.

[vers-1]

I really do believe in all that peace and love shit. I mean not for myself but like to a ton of stuff outside of me. It’s kinda weird being around people who like to hate sometimes. Like what do I say when I don’t agree with you without bringing the mood down

[minevn]

What would the li give mc for a christmas present

Minato: I think Minato would get you guys matching somethings. I personally like matching keychains, with his being a shiba, and yours being your favorite animal. But really anything matching with you would be fine!

Haruto: I think Haruto would give practical gifts, but something that still fits your style. An example being lets say you had cute animal themes gadgets in your kitchen, Haruto would get you another useful animal themed gadget that you didn't have. Also the type to gift you clothes, don't worry he knows exactly what you want.

Jun: Jun handmakes multiple outfits to give you.

Hoshi: Hoshi prefers to just make you food as a gift, that's what he would want as a gift afterall. Literally the way to his heart is through his stomach. But he'd also get you anything you want, even if it's something small or cheap or stupid in his eyes. His least favorite gift to give you would be makeup though, he doesn't care about appearance and thinks you look pretty no matter what. (Please either make him food, get him a new apron, or new utensils.)

Habiki: He'd make an entire spotify playlist for you, BUT NOT JUST THAT! He'd also compose music inspired by you and make an entire playlist of that music with the sappiest nickname you've ever seen in existence(Something you didn't even know was possible for Habiki)

Kage: I think Kage would prefer making a clay model of your favorite anime/cartoon/game character. Figurines are so expensive, why buy one when you can just make one?

Kei: Anything your eyes landed on while he was watching you.

Yani: Yani would give you a piece of itself. The hair in it's brush, it's yours now. A fingernail clipping(Or the entire nail, YOUCH), dried skin, a literal piece of their meat(not that meat), spit in a little container. Very very strange gifts. Would also probably gift herself to you.

Aki: Aki really likes giving nostalgic gifts. It doesn't even need to be from long ago, it could be a picture of a trip you two took that summer. Sometimes though she likes gifting things like familiar looking teddy bears or toys that you two used have and play with all the time. She likes gifting something memorable that you can look back of fondly, something that tells you she pays attention to you and remembers all of your moments together, that she cherishes you.

[mini-sae]

NSFW Alphabet

Steven grant

Hi everyone ! So I'm gonna do an NSFW alphabet for my favorite characters. This is how I view them.

Don't hesitate to to say if you don't agree 😉.

Steven Grant :

A ( aftercare ) : Steven is nothing but a pleaser. Especially after sex. Even if he's not particularly rough with you, he always worries about you and makes sure that you feel safe and content.

B ( body part ) : Steven has definitely a thing for your breast. Either during sex or just watching a movie. He's touching them for his and your pleasure. And sometimes, just because he soothes him.

C ( cum ) : it's actually something he does not really like. He's always embarrassed by the mess he's making. He loves to cum inside you, of course, but you know not to toying with his cum.

D ( dirty secret ) : It's not much of a secret to you anymore, but he always enjoyed you feeding him. At first he pretended to be in a hurry for work and you had to put the toast in his mouth cause his were busy putting his clothes on. But it kept happening. Again and again. So now, he always tastes his food on your fingers at least twice a day.

E ( experience ) : None. Before you, Steven had never touched a girl in a sexual way. He kissed one girl, once. So you had to teach him pretty much everything. Luckily for you, he's a quick learner.

F ( favorite position ) : He's in for pretty much everything you suggest, but he's the most happy when you're on top of him. He can youch your breast while watching your face with loving eyes, all along letting you do as you please with him.

G ( goofy ) : He's so goofy that sometimes you have to take a minute before going back to business. At first, he was ashamed of his clumsiness, but you quickly reassured him. It's not like you were not clumsy yourself sometimes. Now, you were just both laughing so hard.

H ( Hair ) : Well like his alters, Steven has no hair on his chest and face. But he his hairy down there. Not too much, but enough for you to enjoy.

I ( Intimacy ) : Steven has no problems voicing his feelings for you during sex. Or in general, really. He always tell you how much he loves you. How beatiful you are. How lucky he is to have you.

J ( Jack off ) : Steven is not really into that. Before you, he sometimes touched himself, but not often. He mostly craved of emotional intimacy more than sex.

K ( kink ) : His hair. He doesn't like roughness, but when you harshly grip his hair while you're lost in pleasure, it makes him loose any control he has.

L ( location ) : Steven is not the adventurous type. He enjoy your shared bed, but he has a thing for the couch though. When you two are watching TV, and you gently running your hand on his thigh. He takes you by the hips and positions you onto him. There's something about the comfiness of the living room that he likes.

M ( motivation ) : You usually initiate sex. You know he's not a very sexual person. Sex comes after a lot of things. But when you show him that you want him, his desire appears out of nowhere, so strong and fast that you don't even have to play all your tricks.

N ( no ) : Anything that Steven considers rough and brutal. Even if you say that you like it, the idea of hurting you disgusts him. He can be very intense in his pounding, but never in a harmful way.

O ( oral ) : Have you seen a dog eating an ice cream ? Then you see. Steven could spend hours with his head between your legs. It was his favorite meal. And when it's your turn to please him, he just can't believe how good it feels.

P ( pace ) : Most of the time, he's slow and sweet. He just loves taking his time while kissing your entire face. But sometimes, he just needs to have you, possess you. He would become more demanding, but again, always careful about not hurting you.

Q ( quickie ) : It's very rare, but it happens when you surprises him at work, or when you wake up at night with a need of him.

R ( risks ) : Well, at work. The only risk he takes, is to be discoverd in a closet or in the bathroom of the museum.

S ( stamina ) : He can make love to you for hours. Sometimes, you even want to speed it up. But once he cums, he's like a baby. After making sure you were okay, you rock him in your arms and he's gone for the rest of the night.

T ( toys ) : He likes using a sex toy. He fucks you with it while you jerk him off. And sometimes, he likes to watch you use it yourself.

U ( unfair ) : There's not much unfairness with Steven. He's not the kind of making you beg. If you want something from him, it's yours before you even finished asking.

V ( volume ) : Steven talks all the time. Even during sex. Asking you if you like it. If you want to change position. If you want it harder. And when he cums, he plunges his face in your hair and growls.

W ( wild card ) : Unless you want him to fuck you, don't walk around with his shirt on. This is the cutest you can be for him. And he never can resist to take his shirt off of you and take you to bed.

X ( x ray ) : Despite not being a fan of working out, Steven has such a strong body. Well muscled and healthy. Guess he has Marc and Jake to thank for that.

Y ( yearning ) : Again, Steven is not yearning for sex. Not as much as most a people. But once he starts, he worships you to no end.

Z ( zzz ) : Unless one of the alters is fronting, Steven sleeps peacefully, his head on your chest. Your heartbeat is his favorite lullaby.

[crzyimp]

Wander and Monkey: Harvest Moon

Author's note: So I've been stewing on an idea, mainly what was Sun Wukong’s 30 yearish journey for his first master like and how he interacted with society and the customs as an outsider. Then I thought about giving him a friend who's in a similar boat as him, two goobers traveling together learning about anything and everything about ancient China. It's also a perfect excuse for me to look up and research topics and stay focus.

Now for context about Wander; I explicitly(or try too) avoid mentioning anything about their features, they gender, and where their from. I want to make them relatable/or for people to view Wander like it's them or an Oc. Wander name isn't even their real name! Wander is meant to be a lone traveler until meeting Sun Wukong(or currently Monkey since he doesn't get his name yet). I do have ideas why Wander traveling, but that can be another story to tell.

I'll have my inbox open for any prompts or suggestions,it can be anything related to ancient China or just Wander and Monkey getting to know each other.

Prompt: Mid-Autumn Moon Festival

I like to give a special shout out to my friend @sparrow-in-boots for helping me and supporting me

“Incense and offering?s Here out in the open at night?” Wander said, a furred cloak slipped over their shoulder, body leaning on the walking stick at an angle. Callous fingers brush over the lines and crosses etched into the staff, absentmindedly humming. They eyed the display, a lone stand with various items out by the side of the road. Whoever put this here took great care to set everything up on the cloth. The display was visible with no need for a torch or a lantern, thanks to the bright glow of the full moon and the absence of clouds in the sky.

‘Must be a village or a city nearby for something like this,’ Wander thought with a hand under their chin. Porridge and fruit laid next to the incense along with a scroll. Their same hand reaches out to brush against the cool bowl; no warmth, but not unexpected in the autumn air. They sighed and their shoulders slouched as they continued to stare at the porridge and the fruits next to it.

“Oh! Monkey knows this!” Monkey said with excitement, nearly toppling Wander over the stand as Monkey jumps onto their back, a powerful grip against the furs and colorful cloths as both hands reach for the wooden scroll. “It’s an offering!”

“I just said that, Monkey.” A hint of annoyance in Wander’s voice.

“Yes, but you didn’t say who!” Monkey said in a matter-of-fact tone, proud that he knows something that Wander didn’t for once. “It’s for a goddess. I overheard farmers talking about it, gifting things in exchange for the harvest giving light for the next year.”

“Is that so- Ouch!” The scroll hit Wander right dab in the face, Monkey chuckled as he made himself comfortable. “Can you even read that?” Wander certainly can’t, nor is anyone in this region eager to teach them either. Many refuse both the foreigner and their strange travel companion, but Wander is used to that reaction and will eventually find someone who can and will teach them.

“No, but I like the brush strokes.” Monkey said, his tail thumped against his friend’s back before it curled around the walking stick. His eyes feasted on the choice of words the writer used for the poem, also enough to make him write his own. “Oh, I even heard you can make a wish!” His voice echoed with his shaking hands, oblivious of the scroll slipping through his grip, only for Wander to catch it with practice ease before placing it back with the others.

“I can believe the offerings for next year’s harvest, but a wish?” Wander smiled with a soft laugh.

“It’s true! I’m a king and say it’s true!”

“Well, you’re not my king, so- Youch!” Something sharp like a pinch and something wet brushing against Wander’s ear. “Sorry, sorry!” They quickly rubbed it until the sting went away. “I thought I said don’t give me discipline bites.” Their hand pulled back and the two inspected the hand.

“Monkey doesn’t see blood, so Wander’s okay.” He smacked his lips rapidly. His fingers soon started to comb through their hair, intent on giving them a new hairstyle with gentle care. “Did your people do something similar back in your land?” Two hands became three as Monkey felt something against their head. “So dirty,” he mumbled under his breath.

“Yes…yes we did.” They replied quietly, fingers tracing against the incense down to the base. “We also had our own customs in hopes of a good harvest next year.” Those same fingers retreated to the side, eyes focused on the incense. “It was also when the barrier of the realm was the thinnest. Monkey, can you grab my flint stone? It should be in the-” Suddenly a hand, or rather more of a foot, shot out into view holding the exact thing they needed. “Thank you.” Wander took it without a second glance, tufts of hair falling over their face as they lit the incense and whispered softly.

“Hmm? Did you say something, Wander?” Monkey asked mid-groom, keeping a focus on their hair even as he felt a shift, the surroundings slowly changing from the corner of his eyes. The two, well, mainly Wander and their bare feet, walked down the dirt road. The only signs of life were them with the moon lighting their path, all was quiet besides the two’s breathing and Monkey’s occasional chirps.

“Just something in my native tongue, for guidance and safe travels.” Wander explained after some time had passed.

“How come you didn’t use your chaos language thingy?” Ah, the secret Wander held close to their heart, a way to understand all spoken languages, perhaps originated from their homeland. “Monkey wants to know what you said!” Wander winced as Monkey tugged a little too harshly on their hair.

“Well, it’s nothing really, just that this time of year the lines of the realms are at their thinnest. Or at least that’s what it was back home…” Monkey’s grip loosened until Wander’s hair was free, falling onto their shoulders. Soon after, he swung himself off their shoulders and onto their chest, mindful to keep his feet off their pouched belt. All four of his hands gripped onto them as eyes like the stars against the night looked up at them excitingly, with a lip curled and wobbly. Eager to learn more about Wander and their own home, Monkey didn’t care how he got it out of them, but he mostly got it this way. Wander sighed as they stared into his pleading eyes, their shoulders sagging. “Fine, I’ll explain more. So…”

[embodyingchaos]

❥ plain sight | chapter one

pairing: la!sanji x fem!oc genre: best friends to lovers! slow burn! warnings: attempted assault, fighting, light angst word count: 1.8k masterlist: plain sight next chapter: -

a puff of smoke escaped out of her mouth and out the window. it was one small moment to herself but it meant so much to her before returning to the annoyance of complaining customers and taking orders.

“lorrie, you best get out here before the old man decides to kick it up a notch, huh?” vincent, one of the other waiters, warned her, reminding her that she indeed had things to do, despite the fact she only took three puffs out of her cigarette.

with a huff, she put it out in her ashtray, placing it back on the window sill before heading back into the restaurant to resume her job of waiting tables.

“couldn’t even give me enough time to finish a whole stick, vince?”

“come on, you know zeff, lorelai.”

lorelai scoffed, “sadly.” she quietly replied, taking off her sunglasses and hanging them around the waistband of her skirt. she took a deep breath in before stepping out of the kitchen doors.

from the rushing and hectic kitchens to the jazzy, dim-lit seating area, the change in atmosphere was nearly enough to give you whiplash. it was, somewhat, a particularly busy hour. though, lorelai’s definition of busy can be extremely different compared to others’. at least, that’s what her best friend likes to say.

the girl walked towards a table of four, her long, black hair swishing behind her as her hips swayed from side to side. 

she placed her right hand on her hip, “welcome to baratie, my name’s lorelai. how may i serve you?” it wasn’t uncommon for lorelai to be straight to the point when serving customers, after doing it for over four years, she’d learned it best to just be nonchalant. 

“oh, you’re serving us just fine, sweetheart.” the man with orange hair sitting closest to her on her left replied, a conceited-looking smirk creeping onto his lips. however, the comment didn’t receive any sort of reaction from lorelai. she’d gotten used to this since she first started waitressing at baratie at the tender age of 15.

“would you gentlemen prefer to start with some beverages? perhaps some wine, or bleach.” she whispered her last few words to herself, trying her best to be polite.

“right! yes, please. sorry about him.” a smaller, meeker man with curly, dark brown hair and a scar on his lip quickly said, “behave, owen!” he whisper-shouted to his friend, widening his eyes as a warning.

the orange-haired man, owen, only rolled his eyes, not taking his friend seriously at all.

they told her what they wanted to order, having been here before, they didn’t really need to look at the menu to know what they wanted.

“and could i get a side of ‘do you have a boyfriend’?” the other guys at the table groaned either quietly or loudly.

“sorry, we’re all out of that. too many lonely, desperate men had asked for it.” lorelai’s reply has all of them but owen stifling their giggles and laughs. “youch.” one of them commented, side-eyeing their friend.

“i’ll be back with your orders.” she told them, not missing the vein popping out on his forehead. she smugly smiles when she turns around to head back to the kitchen. the moment she enters the cooking stations, a blonde-haired chef grabs her by the waist, dragging her towards him.

“hello, dollface.”

“hello, coworker.” her cold reply has him feigning hurt, “ow? that’s not how you should greet your best friend of ten years.” lorelai’s eyes widened, “dear god. it’s been ten years already? i need to get out more often.” the man frowned, “okay, i was actually jokin’, but that one stung.” he pouted, resting his chin on lorelai’s shoulder.

she could only shake her head, “what do you want, sanji?” she asked, crossing her arms.

the blonde, sanji, grinned, “well…” he pulled away from her and grabbed a spoon with some sort of brown sauce on it.

“open wide!”

“no.”

“come on, open wide for sanji!”

“even more no.”

“here comes the airplane! wooo!”

“if you don’t stop, i’ll kick you.”

“...taste it, please?” lorelai let out a heavy sigh when her best friend pulled out his sad, puppy-dog eyes.

“fine.” upon hearing that word leave her lips, sanji wasted no time and shoved the spoon into her mouth. “how is it?” he asked, taking it out and dropping the utensil into the sink.

throughout their friendship, sanji found that she could always be the best taste-tester when it comes to his food. always sincere, always honest and always blunt, no sugarcoating nonsense. plus, it is extremely hard to please her taste buds and her picky eating habits.

lorelai wrote down the order from the table she waited on as she let the flavour of it run down her tongue. 

“too salty, texture’s runny- holy shit, ji. what the hell is this?” the sight of her nose scrunching filled sanji’s heart with joy.

“light soy sauce. just wanted a reason to talk to you.” his answer has her deadpanning immediately, spitting into the sink. 

“and now, that will be the last time i ever talk to you.”

“no, i won’t live long if you do that, lorrie!”

she could only roll her eyes for the seventh time that day at his dramatics. “uhuh. table two wants three medium-rare steaks and a chicken caesar salad.” at her words, sanji’s expression morphs into one of disgust. “i know, heathens, am i right?” lorelai’s sarcasm was evident but the blonde chef was too caught up with the fact he had to cook steak like a boring, old robot again.

lorelai pressed her lips together, “hey, cheer up. just cook whatever you want. i’ll convince them to eat it, ji.” she told him, looking everywhere but his eyes.

sanji smiled, “thanks, lorrie, but i don’t want you gettin’ in trouble with the old shitbag.” she snorted, “please. me? in trouble? have you ever heard of such a thing?” her words made him raise an eyebrow.

“just go cook already, you cheeky bastard.” she ushered him in the other direction as she grabbed herself a sliced cucumber and popped it into her mouth to wash the soy sauce’s taste away.

after serving table two their food, and watching sanji and zeff argue over whatever he’s cooking that’s not on the menu(it’s a part of her daily routine at this point), lorelai chewed her gum as she asked them if there was anything else they needed.

“it’s alright! this is all enough.” 

“that’s good to hear. if you would like anything else, don’t be shy to ask.” 

as they were talking, the orange-haired man had moved his hand to smack her on her rear. unlucky for him, she’d seen it coming a mile away.

with a swift turn, lorelai grabbed his arm with her left hand and twisted it before using her right hand to give him a punch straight to his jaw, sending him flailing to the ground.

“what the fuck!” owen exclaimed, holding his chin and swiping his thumb over his lip, a bright crimson red colouring it. “where’s your boss?! you’re going to get sacked for this, you bitch!” the ginger yelled, standing up. despite towering over her, lorelai could barely feel threatened.

“i don’t think you’d want to call him, you might get a broken, bloodied up nose next.”

“and why the hell would i get that?”

“because he’s my father, numbnuts.” she said with a bored expression, “so, if you don’t want me tellin’ him that you just attempted to slap my arse and risk a limb being torn off, what do we say we eat our food in peace like a good, paying customer?” owen slowly sat down in shame and terror. shame, because the entire restaurant was staring at them, and terror, because he almost got himself a death wish with former pirate, red-leg zeff.

“enjoy your meal.” lorelai simply said with a toothy grin before heading back to the kitchens, her eyes immediately drooping as she was suddenly starting to get sleepy but still mustering up the energy to chew her, now flavourless, gum.

from afar, she could feel four sets of eyes on her. irked, she turned their way and her gaze immediately landed on a boy wearing a straw hat. the boy stared at her with mesmerised eyes and a wide smile. lorelai continued to stare at him with an unreadable expression before his eyes widened and he awkwardly turned back to his friends.

“huh.” she muttered, blowing a bubble before it popped thanks to a certain blonde… waiter?

“now, this is a sight.” lorelai stated, smirking as she eyed sanji up and down in his suit and tie. “i might just thank pops for making you a waiter again.” her joke doesn’t elicit a single chuckle from him, he was obviously quite upset over it.

“yeah, yeah. whatever. what’s up with that table over there?” he gestured to the table of the almost-assaulted-by-ginger-man incident and lorelai shook her head. “nothin’ much. in fact, i think you have a fight to break up over at that table there.” she told him, pointing at the table in front of them with her thumb.

sanji sighed heavily and grabbed a plate of bread, “see you.” he simply told her, walking to that table to put a stop to the argument happening between two men.

lorelai frowned at his demeanour, not used to it at all. of course, he had his bad days but they were rare, and he’d always be cheering up at her jokes or even just by the sight of her. her head was swarming with thoughts as she pushed through the doors of the kitchen, but they soon came to a halt.

“what do you think you’re doin’?” 

the black-haired girl silently groaned, “walking.” she grumbled, turning to her dad.

“well, then, you would have no trouble walking back out to serve some tables, hm?” zeff smiled, grabbing two plates of food and handing it to her. “now, get movin’.” he demanded, crossing his arms.

“this is child labour.” lorelai said loudly, as she slowly walked back out the door.

“too late for that now. you’re 19, sweetheart.” zeff’s reply only made lorelai even more annoyed.

she walked towards table seven, placing down their food, “hello, here is your lobster, and here is your pasta.” the couple smiled, “how’d you know whose is whose?” the man asked, “i have a very keen eye.” lorelai gave them a small smile back. that smile immediately vanished as she heard sanji serving the table behind her.

“something wrong with your eye?”

“just blinded by your beauty.”

lorelai swore she also heard a crack in her ear at that. she shook her head and got her former expression back, “enjoy your meal.” she said quickly, rushing back to the kitchen.

ignoring the shouting and calls of her name from her father as she grabbed her sunglasses, a packet of cigarettes and walked through the backdoors of the kitchen.

“break time!” she yelled out, the door swinging behind her as she did.