#younger people have made far better shit than u ever will

[mikewheeleranti]

hogwarts legacy characters as tropes

includes: sebastian sallow, ominis gaunt, garreth weasley, amit thakkar

a/n: to the sebastian sallow stans, i'm gonna SPARE you. in this, anne is fine and he doesn't get into the dark arts.

sebastian sallow:

found family/friends to lovers

when you came to hogwarts, you came lonely. when you looked around after getting sorted into your house, everyone was sitting with somebody they knew, chatting away. planning to walk out, you're stopped short when a girl with short brown hair leaves her table to comes up to you. "hi, i'm anne! i couldn't help but notice you didn't have somewhere to sit, come by me and my brother, if you want to."

oh pls after that it was history, anne wasn't letting you go

ever since that dinner with anne and her twin, sebastian, in first year you were done for. sebastian's freckles and the way he blushed lightly in embarrassment when his sister would tease him for something made you swoon. ominis and anne taunted you about this endlessly, making you hide your face every time without fail.

anne definitely set you two up

anne told you many times that he did, in fact, like you back but it was hard to believe. he treated you like a normal friend, and those times you caught him staring at you he was just zoning out. so, pushing your feelings aside, you got ready to go to hogsmeade with anne, ominis, and sebastian. it took you and sebastian 15 minutes at honeydukes to realize the other 2 weren't coming. at the end of the day, you had confessed after you spilled butterbeer on his white shirt. "shit, im sorry! merlin, this is embarrassing. spilling a drink on the guy you like.." yea if u think you've seen him red you hadn't until that day.

you alr know those friendsgivings HIT

thanksgiving at hogwarts always made you a bit homesick, that feeling didn't come in 7th year with your "family." coming back to the slytherin common room after dinner, you stayed up all night talking with sebastian, who coincidentally got plastered with anne that night. " 'm gonna marry you one day" as he rested his head on your chest and dozed off, leaving your heart racing.

ominis gaunt:

forbidden romance

ominis' family would not approve of you, that is something he knew for a fact. his family was cold, distant, and in his eyes, evil. when he was younger, he would fantasize about escaping with his aunt, noctua gaunt, and moving somewhere far way. that wasn't possible anymore, but he still had you. you were his safe space, his place of hiding, and you meant everything to him. which is exactly why he had to hide you from anyone who could report your relationship to his family. many people warned you about being so close with a gaunt, but you both knew better.

many late nights sneaking around the castle and secret touches

you and ominis were once again sneaking around the castle, desperately trying to avoid peeves. his wand was leading both of you in the direction of the undercroft, linked arm in arm. when you two had gotten to the spot you made years ago, you would spend hours basking in each others presence. in the late hours of the night, ominis would make up for his lack of vision through sight and memorize everything about you. gentle touches along your face, kisses along your cheeks, forehead, eyelids, even. this man wants nothing more than to absolutely worship you, he thinks of you as his saving grace.

expect fear of his family

to put it lightly, ominis is terrified at the idea of his family ever finding you. he will do anything in his power to protect you. when the new fifth year tells him they need his help with sebastian, you are not coming, and that's final. he doesn't know what dangers may lie there. going back to the undercroft, he promises you many things, promises he will hold to his heart forever. "i will always protect you, my love" with a kiss as light as a feather below your ear. "you are so perfect" with your foreheads leaned against each other, and his hand rubbing your back.

garreth weasley:

good girl x bad boy (even if you aren't a girl)

you were never one to break rules in any way, always trying to keep up with your academics. you weren't at the top of your class, but you were up there and you had good relationships with your professors. which is why it was a little surprising that garreth weasley, the schools infamous "troublemaker" was talking to you right now. it was almost more surprising he knew your name. "y/n, help me out. please." "weasley, i am not stealing a dumb feather for you, please go back to making your wiggenweld potion."

lowkey cringed having to write troublemaker

also a bit of enemies to lovers

you were already annoyed enough that day, and the last thing you needed was weasley dragging you into his antics. though, fate was not on your side when you were walking out of the library and got dragged into a row of bookcases. "what the hell? let go of-" you were quickly cut off when garreth wrapped his hand around your mouth and kept you against a bookcase until you heard an angry professor sharp storm past. now whispering, you ask "what the hell is wrong with you?" just for him to cup the side of your face and kiss your cheek before smirking and walking away. "thank you, darling!"

it's definitely unexpected when you start dating, but not unwelcome.

his rebellious nature started to grow on you, not that you would do some of the stuff that he does around the castle. truth be told, he does find it adorable when you come up to him and proudly told him you skipped one class period. your professors and classmates alike are definitely shocked when they see you two laughing quietly together in the back of the class, but you convince him to study more and the improvement in his grades does not go unnoticed by your professors.

loves embarrassing you in public

he would never push your limits too far, but he loves teasing you in public whenever he can. he was always convinced he wouldn't be into pda, but then he met you. how could he resist from it if you were going to squirm away like that? if you told him you were uncomfortable with this he wouldn't, of course. but if you let him he would have the time of his life very obviously pulling you into an empty room when you were on your way to class.

amit thakkar:

academic rivals

amit frustrated you. you were at the top of your class for a while now, until he got out of second place and replaced you. this grabbed your attention on him, constantly glaring at him in class and in the hallways, which made you fall behind more. what was even more infuriating is that he didn't do anything more than give you a small smile in class. in fact, he admired you and your wit, and your dedication to staying at the number one spot drew him into you.

since he's the sweet man he is, he'd probably lead to your friendship

after you finally got your spot back, you didn't stop studying. there was no way anyone was going to take your spot again. astronomy was almost over, and the rest of the class was given to spend freely while professor shah handed back the most recent test. "good job, y/n." smirking, you looked at the red 98 on the parchment, turning over to amit to ask what he got. "95, what about you?" your smile could have lit the sky in replacement to the stars, he thinks. "98, maybe i should tutor you sometime." when you walk out of the room, he puts the parchment in his bag, glancing at the bold "100" on it.

people were definitely confused when you went from glaring at him to holding his hand

you were joking when you said you would tutor him, but he held your word to it. it was the week before exams and he actually had to help you grasp the fact that aries is not just a straight line. you could've gotten this long ago, but you noticed yourself becoming entranced with him. how was he so patient with you, and so kind? when you finally got the idea, you went into the exam ready. when you got one point higher than him on the exam, he congratulated you with a tight hug, and when you separated, you weren't very separated. leaning in, before your lips connected you said one last thing to him before summer. "don't think i'll go easy on you next year, you better write to me."

[robinsroom]

You can develop your OCs as you go.

...

S- So, like uh, will you, will you, OCs- Uh

🥺🤲

okay so like, i have like a handful of ocs but they were all from when I was younger and the make me cringe so I've only taken one or two with me into my """adulthood""".

~~

Heaven

Ofc one of them is my main OC Heaven who ofc is bascially kind of a self insert but better because who doesn't have one. Shes like part wizard, 10% human or something. I would write about how she would go to school specifcally made for other kids w supernatural powers to hone them and ofc this gave me an established excuse for her to meet characters from large franchies or created by people (on dA or tumblr) who I adored at the time.

Her powers specifically would change from time to time based off of characters I thought were neat like shape shifting, being a siren, telekinesis, rumoring people into doing shit she wanted (props to u if u know where that’s from).

For her personailty, she would go from being a brat to a badass bitch to being the biggest submissive goon you've ever met. It really depended on how I was feeling that day LMAO

Now a-days, since she’s out of school and I’m a bit more mellow (lying) on her whole personality being centered around impressing people, she’s a chill entrepreneur who wants an excuse to stay around in the (this is gonna sound so cringe but here goes) “fandom specific worlds/universes” and make her mark you know?

Right now, in the year of our lord, 2023, since DOL is my obsession, Heaven is apart of the OC group that I’m slowly building for Rape City lmao. I’m not sure how yet though beyond her wanting to take control from Bailey. Maybe??? Mayhaps????? Someday??????

Speaking of Rape City, I have two OCs so far.

Winnie & Skylar and maybe another one who might be coming when I take a break w Sky's play through.

~~

Winnie

Winnie was a coke abusing goof ball who catfishes people for funsies. There's not alot to her backstory right now but basically, she wanted to get out of her home and took a trip to the UK. She ended up getting stuck there after giving some sob story to Bailey about how her parents died in a freak BDSM accident.

I like to think any other persona who might be stupid enough to get themselves in a situation like this, are smart enough to, you know, get tf out of it but Winnie is too much of a goof ball to really care. She has free room and board. She can do pretty much whatever she wants and all she has to do is pay 4k to this guy who is mean but attractive. You can get away w anything if ur good looking, right? Better than being stuck at home with her brothers I guess lmao.

Anyway, she uses her knowledge of catfishing to trick creeps into giving her compromising photos, info, etc. which she then posts publicly be it at school or online. She of course has access to, can’t live without it. Bailey took her shit yeah but he didn’t find her phone which she uses to keep in touch with her mother who assumes that her daughter is having an amazing time!

~~

Skylar

Skylar isss...well no one knows who Skylar is. They just randomly showed up one day, even Winnie swears the room they are in was empty literally the hour before they were there. Anyway, Winnie loves paranormal shit and Sky seems pretty paranormal themselves so they automatically became besties. Although it wasn’t easy at first considering Sky was shy and would rarely leave their room after seeing what the other orphans had to go through.

It was school then straight home.

However, Winnie showed Skylar that they have nothing to fear. Most people who decide to mess with them can be subdued with the 7 cans of pepper spray they have shoved up their ass at one time thanks to their close relationship with Kylar. Eventually, they took to crossdressing and since their naturally androgynous appearance, they can pass as a boy or girl without issue.

Eventually this escalated into them branching out and working at Darryl’s strip club on random nights. In fact, they quite enjoy it especially with how friendly Darryl is. They almost look up to them as some sort of silly goose family member.  Eventually they began skipping school but still visit to see Kylar for longer than a few hours in the park. Despite their delinquent behavior, they maintain good marks (unlike Winnie >.>) and an amicable relationship with their teachers inside and outside of school. But Leighton is a dick and they avoid them at all costs.

Speaking of good relationships, if it wasn’t obvious, they’re deeply infatuated with Kylar who gladly returns the sentiment. Even after being kidnapped by him, they were happy to simply spend the evening with them even if they were a hot mess by the time Kylar came to his sense and let them go.

Sadly, this is all I have for them at the moment, the more I play, the more I’ll come up with eventually.

[seerofmike]

💀 🌙 🌸 ♥️ random headcanon? On seer, crypto and octane If you don’t mind.

Also happy holidays

teehee thank u

octane

☠ - angry/violent headcanon: so i've actually always had the headcanon that octane gets SUUUUUPER passive aggressive when angry and season 9 onwards has kinda proven me right lmao. i think he would need to be the right combo of drunk and truly pissed off to like, yell and all that, but for the most part he would just be like. mean girls level of petty and passive aggressive and vindictive. see the season 14 interactions where he laughs like a huuuuge bitch @ seer for literally no reason LMAO

☾ - sleep headcanon: stays up literally all week chugging energy drinks, then passes out late saturday evening and sleeps all the way until monday morning. gets hot easily so he kicks all the covers off. and since he's used to sleeping on that beanbag in his dropship room he sleeps all curled up in a ball.

✿ - sex headcanon: literally always down to fuck even if he isn't actually in the mood. sex is really casual to him and asking if he wants to have sex is kind of just like asking if he wants a snack. he'll take it even if he's not hungry because it'll be satisfying regardless. also he's a bottom bitch but will top OCCASIONALLY and has a horrific green strap-on for such occasions

♥ - family headcanon: has no extended family that he knows of, doesn't care about blood family all that much anyways and likes the little found family he's claimed for himself among the legends. i think he's not gonna be ready For a family any time soon but he would be a really cool fun uncle for now, and a slightly irresponsible but spoils-his-kid(s)-a-lot dad later. and he WOULD want to eventually be a dad when he's in the right headspace in it and he wants to be a dad for kind of petty reasons at first ("i'm gonna be a waaaay better dad than my old man watch") but he's gonna be ride or die for that kid as soon as they're adopted. i hc him as trans obviously but i think he would prefer adoption over biological kids.

random headcanon: he did track and field in high school and actually has really good running form. it's kind of janky now cuz he has uhhh metal legs but if he'd actually focused on track and field instead of just viewing it an outlet for his energy and a way to avoid home he probably could have pursued a legit track career instead of shooting himself out of cannons and shit

crypto

☠ - angry/violent headcanon: of the three crypto is probably the most prone to violence when angry? he never gets violent with people but he is very much a "turns and kicks the car/wall/table etc" kind of person when something is angering him. he is also kind of always seething. just in a shit mood sometimes and finds everything annoying and is plotting his revenge internally. he never acts on it but it's thereupetic to him. he'll probably get over it when he stops feeling crushed under the weight of the Horrors

☾ - sleep headcanon: very light sleeper, jerks awake at the smallest of noises if he can even fall asleep in the first place. sleeps on his back usually and always wakes up with his hand under his shirt for some reason.

✿ - sex headcanon: i know it does nawt seem that way based on all my cryptane fics but crypto is definitely the horniest one between them even if octane usually proposes because he's more forward about stuff. i think he just has a lot of frustration towards...Everything, in general, and sometimes instead of acting out violently due to that frustration he'll just get horny. angry horny. and also he has a very vivid imagination and is definitely far kinkier than he will ever admit to octavio

♥ - family headcanon: so i actually like to hc that he and mila were the oldst kids at mystik's orphanage and were therefore babysitting the younger ones a lot, so crypto is really good with kids and he wants to start his own family one day. he's mostly made peace with the fact that he'll never know his biological parents and he loves mila and mystik but there's a small part of him that wants just One blood connection so as soon as he settles down and gets his shit together he is going to start wanting kids. a lot

random headcanon: enjoys cheesy romcom books and movies, will never admit it even at gunpoint. every time one of his friends finds out he considers changing his identity again

seer

☠ - angry/violent headcanon: i don't think he gets angry very often and is really good at hiding his anger because of the bullying he used to undergo. he might even be Too good at hiding it. i think he'll go a while not realizing he *IS* angry until someone is like "yo obi are you ok you're so tense" and then it'll all break like a dam and he'll pick up a pillow and scream into it before acting like nothing happened

☾ - sleep headcanon: sleeps with a little eyemask on and is actually a very heavy sleeper. ramya has drawn on his face while sleeping and he didn't even rouse. actually he has the incredibly powerful ability to fall asleep on command. seer says "i am going to bed" and he lays down and falls asleep in 5 minutes. he MEANS it

✿ - sex headcanon: i think cuz of the way boreas treated him the thought of a real, emotional, romantic relationship seemed kind of faraway to him and he didn't start dating people For Real until he was like. 23/24. and like he's an #empath and all but i think for his first couple of relationships before that, it was mostly a sex thing but then he got more comfortable being vulnerable around his partners and now he's really picky about sleeping with people. like it will take maybe 6 dates now before he considers sleeping with someone. and they will appreciate it because obi is very good in bed actually,

♥ - family headcanon: nobody has ever trusted obi around children at ALL and therefore he doesn't know how to handle them and probably doesn't want any for a while. like he'll be nice to kids but if you hand him one even if he is going ":)" inside he is crying screaming shaking because he doesn't know what to do. all his extended family cut his parents off when he was born but he never really knew them so he tries not to think about it. and he was also Very Loved and slightly spoiled by his parents, as he deserves to be

random headcanon: he does not like tea or coffee. he prefers energy drinks. he does NOT want to admit this and will never buy them for himself, he has to convince ramya to buy him a can and then he discards the evidence before anyone can notice

[lovebunnie]

oh golly gosh i didnt really expect anyone to respond to this so i guess ill explain whats goin on also im just gonna vomit type and ignore the read more because 1. im on mobile and 2. this is my blog ive been writing for more than half my life, believe it or not fan fiction all the way back when i was a lot younger. i used to write invader zim fan fiction and it was my real first fandom that made me look into everything it had to offer its impossible for me to think that i havent improved atleast a little bit since then, but i feel as though in the 3 years times ive truly dedicated myself to writing i havent really improved too much. all my destiel pieces look like my overwatch pieces and it sucks to see yourself stuck in one place for so long. thats really the meat of the problem: i know what it takes to make a good story but i cannot execute it. its clear as day in my head but i absolutely detest my own writing to the point that i want to delete it all and erase any evidence that i wrote. most recently, my fic has gotten the most reads of anything ive ever made and has eaten up the most time, since i started scripting it out in late September. back when i updated weekly, i did it to keep the most people engaged and get as many reads as possible. now i cant even look at the chapters because they seem so shoddy and poorly executed. its a bad fic and now the pressure to keep people happy is on me like never before and its exhausting. i want to give out good content but everything I write i hate and im absolutely sick of it. ive been told people like my reading and i million other people could tell me that but i hate it so much and it makes me sad and angry to do it so i figured why do i keep doing it? i have so many ideas to express and no way to do it. i cant draw, i cant write, i dont have enough followers for people to give a shit about what i have to say, no one irl likes what i like. it makes me wanna scream im just so stuck and have been for the past three years. writing is destroying me and i dont want to do it anymore. ill update my fic because i promised and only because i promised but after that i dont know what ill do.

[lululawrence]

Can u please be nicer on ao3? Maybe you should try answering people's comments

when i read the first line i was honestly flabbergasted and wracking my brain trying to figure out when in the world i wasn't nice on ao3 ever. because i honestly truly try to be nice to everyone always, even when i'm angry or frustrated or people are going after those i love and want to protect. if there was a time i WASN'T nice on ao3, i wondered if it was maybe because my comment had been misunderstood or someone saw me razzing an author i'm good friends with and they didn't get that we are close and i said what i did with so much love and appreciation, you know? like what??? did i do???

but then i read your second line. and please forgive me if i come off as rude in my response to this, because honestly i'm in a pretty bad spot mentally and emotionally in general right now, but PARTICULARLY today, and this ask triggered an anxiety response in me. so. i'm trying really hard to word this in a way to educate without being condescending or mean, but i might not succeed.

firstly, thank you for your comments i'm assuming you've left. i'm also assuming they were nice comments, in which case extra thanks. i'm sure i'll send you effusive responses on ao3 when the time comes.

secondly, please understand that sending an ask like this, on anonymous no less, is incredibly entitled. writing is not my profession, i receive no compensation for my works that i post for free online, and as a part of that it is not required of me to respond. i do my very best to reply to every comment i receive, but it is not always in a timely manner, because i have other priorities in my life. all of which leads us to my third point, which is:

writers do not owe you a reply to your comments. end of. there are no other qualifications or quantifying modifiers to be added to the statement. is it nice to be acknowledged and know your comment was seen? sure. but do they OWE you one? hell no.

in fact, i'd like to offer you a suggestion. a way of tweaking your thinking about the comments you leave on fics. instead of looking at comments you leave as being something that deserves a reply from the author, think of your comments as your way of paying the author for the gift of their time and talents that they have shared with you by posting their fic. that's how i think of the comments i leave for authors. i'm giving them my thanks for the words they've shared! i want to help THEM feel as amazing as they have made ME feel when i read their fic. in fact, my hope isn't necessarily a response from them, but instead my hope is THE GIFT OF THEM SHARING MORE FIC WITH ME. i'm a selfish bitch in that way and i always want all the fic to read. i never want that well to go dry. one way i can ensure that doesn't happen is by supporting authors and being kind to them and spreading all the love and excitement i can about their writing in the hopes that my words will inspire them to share more.

because whether they reply or not, i GUARANTEE they are seeing your comments. i PROMISE they are. and for all you know, your comment might be the one that keeps them writing even when their words aren't coming easily or when they are tempted to give up.

but, again, please remember that no matter what, these authors (including me) don't actually owe you anything.

the rest of this is going under a cut, because honestly my reply is already far too long and i have a LOT more to say now that you've gotten me started.

now, all of this in mind, i'll explain to you why i'm not great with keeping up with comments made on my fics the last couple of years. i don't owe you this explanation any more than i owe you a response to your comments, and i'm honestly not sure you deserve this explanation either, but i'll still offer it anyway. it'll help me feel better knowing i at least put this out there, whether you care or not, mainly because if i don't do that it will cause me greater anxiety having you possibly think i am not responding to people because i feel all high and mighty or that i think i'm better than the comments or whatever the fuck kind of motivation you're attributing to me to see my lack of a response as something "not nice" towards the commenters.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i put out a lot of fic. like a lot. a lot of words and shit. i love writing, it's often my therapy and a way for me to help keep my anxiety and depression and ptsd at bay.

now, more personal shit for you, i've got three kids ages 9 and under. the oldest has adhd which we have yet to find a med for that helps to the extent she needs without side effects that aren't healthy for her to continue with, she also has anxiety, AND she's extremely gifted and starting a new program at a new school, all in the midst of a pandemic. and all of those situations exacerbate her anxiety! huzzah! she's also dealing with the beginning of her tween growing up shit, which is great fun because it means where she used to be pretty damn understanding of her younger brother, she is finding it much more difficult to. because the second oldest? he's autistic with some pretty significant gross motor, speech, and socialization delays that have only been exacerbated because of the previously mentioned pandemic. PLUS he transitioned from his special needs preschool to a fully integrated elementary school for kindergarten last year and then had to deal with all the ups and downs of the switch from e-learning to hybrid to all in schooling when everything in him screams for a normal schedule he can rely on to keep his own anxieties and fears and struggles at their minimum. and that youngest child? he was born in january of last year. he STILL barely leaves the house and has only met other children in close range a couple of times because, once again, pandemic!

add onto all of this my own mental health issues, the fact that my husband ALSO battles major clinical depression, adhd, and anxiety, AND we live with my parents who have their own health issues, both mental and physical. i run the home for our house of seven. i keep this place functioning, fed, clothed, clean, and everywhere we need to be for all of our five million appointments every. fucking. day. there is a REASON i've been borderline burnt out for the last fucking year and a half.

now, for fun, i have fandom shit. i love it here, even if it is a dumpster fire on the best of days, and getting to be a part of the writing community is so very lovely. i adore it. honestly, it's because of those friendships i've built with other writers that i have been able to keep writing and have found just how helpful it can be for my mental health. but i'm REALLY. INCREDIBLY. BUSY. i hardly have time to get on tumblr for just a quick swipe through my dash most days. i put off asks so long i forget i have them. i don't have the mental and emotional capacity to talk to people on here or interact fully a lot of the time. but i do my best to do so and be kind while i'm at it even when i don't want to be.

then, on top of that? i also run fic fests like @wordplayfics and help friends run their own. because not only am i a writer, i'm a reader. i LOVE fic. fic has saved me soooooo many times over the past seven years that i've been here. i want to do what i can to support other writers the best way i can, which is to provide a space for them to create their works that welcomes and helps promote them, but also by doing my monthly fic lists and pocast highlighting what i've been able to read, reblogging their fic posts, and then commenting and kudosing their fics too.

sometimes i get really fucking down on myself because i'm so behind on replying to comments, but my brain is very much a "if you start this, you have to finish it" kind of a brain, and i feel even WORSE sometimes if i reply to comments on some fics and not all of them. but i do my best and reply when i can. i was actually really fucking proud of myself because i had a couple days to myself in june, and i spent hours replying to comments on 20 of my fics. when you have almost 150 fics (i think? i don't even know how many fics i've posted by now), that is only scratching the surface. but i tried and i was so so happy i did that many fics at once. it's exhausting, though, and takes a lot of spoons for me to reply to them in mass like that plus time consuming. so i tried to be happy with those 20 fics and the comments i responded to there and told myself that when i ha a moment to breathe, i'd go and work on replying to some more.

but see, that again causes anxiety and guilt. because i haven't replied to all of them. and that anxiety and guilt can cause me to put it off further OR to put off important things like feeding my children or getting sleep in order to finish it, so i have to make myself put things into perspective and ensure i'm doing the important things, like taking care of myself and my family, first.

and then, i have a moment where i CAN go ahead and reply to comments... but i also have MANY fics that are on deadline and i actually have a schedule. a SCHEDULE. for when i'm going to focus on which fics. i can spell it out for you if you really want. i made it back in APRIL to make sure i didn't sign up for too many fic fests because there are so many going on right now that i want to participate in, but i know i can't do all of them so i had to pick and choose. and when you are SO overscheduled and busy that back in APRIL you had to figure out what fics you would focus on at what time to ensure you got everything written when you wanted to through THE END OF THE YEAR, more choices have to be made.

for example. my writing time and time for myself came down to only one evening a week for ALL fandom things i'm doing and a part of right now once the kids were out of school for the summer. it quickly became apparent that for my own self care i needed more time, so i worked with my husband to find two other days i could carve out at least 30-60 minutes to myself to write every week. and i did. but if i'm already only getting that much time and have committed to those fics and fests and things that you're running etc, you have to choose am i going to use this time to try to squeeze in some comment replies? or am i going to write? and i choose to write. simple as that.

so yeah. see it as selfish if you want. see it as mean. you can honestly see it as whatever the fuck you want, but for me? i know that as soon as i possibly can and i can breathe freely for once and not feel like i am constantly drowning in my day to day life and am doing pretty well when it comes to my fic deadlines and getting started on those christmas cards i'm once again going to be making by hand for everyone on tumblr who chooses to sign up for one this year out of the KINDNESS of my heart and the love i really do feel for so many of you, then i promise i'll be on ao3 catching up and commenting. my friends laugh and make fun of me for it sometimes, because they will sometimes get 10-12 replies to their comments in a single day. they know that's how i work. i WILL reply to every single comment i get, no matter how old it is. but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT add to the anxiety and guilt i already feel over it. the only place that will get you is the ask/comment getting deleted if it's a good day, a fucking long rant like this one if it's not, and a block if it's a REALLY bad day.

if you're asking me to be nice on ao3, then i ask in return that you also be nice by not demanding things of people that they are not in any way obligated to give.

[babybluebex]

sugar pie, honey bunch [lee bodecker smut]

➽ pairing: lee bodecker x fem!reader(y/n) ➽ word count: 4.3k ➽ summary: lee gets tired of your secret rendezvous at work, so he comes to your house and does something about it.   ➽ warnings: NSFW/MDNI. explicit language, smut, unprotected sex (pls wear a condom), daddy kink, degradation, infidelity by both parties, loss of virginity, mentions of anal sex ➽ a/n: if you know me irl no u don’t <3

It was quiet. Too quiet. I hated that. The silence let my thoughts run amok and that was never good for anybody, but least of all me. I had a tendency to overthink things, and quiet and still only amplified that. Knockemstiff, Ohio was the absolute worst place to live if you hated silence, because nothing happened in that little town. About twelve years ago, there had been a veteran who killed himself after his wife died, but that was the loudest thing that had ever happened to my little Knockemstiff. I should know; I worked as a secretary at the police station. I heard all of the gossip from around town. Earlier today, someone had been arrested for being drunk, which I think everyone in Knockemstiff could be in violation of. Every other day was quiet. It was hell. 

I could hear the crickets way out in the fields as I walked around the house. Those bugs served as my soundtrack as I found a box of matches and quietly slid a few into my mouth, and I padded through the house until I reached the front door. Knockemstiff was the sort of town where people didn’t use their front doors unless the Pope was showing up; it was all side doors and garages (if you were lucky enough to have one, which most of us didn’t). All that to say, I knew I could smoke by the front door and nobody would smell it. 

The night was hot. Oppressive and stifling, nearly suffocating. My skin was tacky against my nightshirt as I struck a match and lit a cigarette, and I leaned up against the side of the house. The moon was full, casting silver light onto my barren front yard and the dirt road that stretched exactly from one side of town to the other that ran in front of the house. It was a weird sort of beautiful. But quiet. Oh so quiet. 

Quiet, until I heard the far-off rumbling of a car. It wasn’t unheard of to get visitors in the night-- usually someone coming to ask me about the police station, because nobody had the balls or willpower to call our sheriff after hours-- but the noise drew closer at a snail’s pace. Whoever this was wasn’t in any hurry at all. Finally, a car rolled up in front of the house, the headlights off. There was a moment where I watched the car, then I sighed when the door wrenched open to reveal Lee Bodecker. The sheriff was a nice enough guy, maybe at the risk of being too nice sometimes and a total prick at others, but I was at a loss for why the hell he’d be here this late at night with his cruiser’s lights off. If it were an urgent police matter, he’d have his flashing lights on. 

“You shouldn’t do that,” Sheriff Bodecker told me, his voice carrying across the yard. 

“Do what?” I quipped. 

His boots brushed the porch as he climbed the steps up, and I caught his eye in the moonlight. “Smoking’s unbecoming of a young woman,” Bodecker told me pointedly. “Anyway, it’s a bad habit.” 

“You come to lecture me on smoking?” I asked. “I ain’t quite finished typing up that arrest report yet, if that’s what you’re after.” 

“No, no,” Bodecker said. “Nah, I ain’t here for that, sugar.” 

“Oh?” I said, crossing my arms. “And what are you here for?” 

“We’ll get to that soon enough,” Bodecker said. “Ain’t you gonna invite me in? It’s awful late.” 

“Exactly why I’m not gonna do that,” I said quickly, taking an exaggerated drag on my cigarette. “People talk, Lee. Blowjobs in the supply closet during lunch break are one thing; showing up to my house unannounced at half past midnight is something else. And I ain’t gonna be no Whore of Knockemstiff, ya hear me? Run along. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Invite me in, Y/N,” Bodecker said, tilting his head down to look me in the eyes. Bodecker was imposing: six feet tall and sturdy as a mule, even if his middle was getting a little soft. He had these steel-blue eyes that cut right to my core and gorgeous eyelashes, with puffy pink lips and a little cleft in his chin. Maybe if he were ten years younger, thirty pounds lighter, with one less marriage, I’d be into him properly, but that wasn’t the case. Our relationship was one of necessity (but aren’t they all?). His pretty little wife had stopped sucking his cock and he had a thing for my pink lipstick. It worked. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy our little trysts, because I definitely did, but something felt off about this certain encounter. He had never paid me a visit at home before. “Be a good little host for me.” 

I huffed and stamped out my cigarette. “Come in, won’t you?” I grumbled, throwing open the squeaky screen door. It felt off to have Lee in my house, but everything about us was off. I guess this was only normal. 

I flipped the light on and settled myself against the counter as Lee pulled off his tan sheriff’s hat. His hair was dark as pitch, shorn short on all sides but getting a little long at the top, and little wrinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes as he squinted at the pictures I had on the fridge. “And who’s this?” he asked, pressing his thumb into a picture. 

I looked at it and clenched my teeth. “Boyfriend,” I answered simply. 

“Oh?” Lee chuckled. “And where is he?” 

“Well, right now, he’s in ‘Nam,” I answered. “He enlisted, got sent over.” 

“And he didn’t propose before he left?” Lee asked, and I shook my head. “Hmm. Usually when men go to war, they make sure that they’ll have someone waiting for them when they get back.” 

“Why are you here?” I asked suddenly. “What do you want?” 

“The wife’s mad at me tonight,” Lee said. “She was drinking and started yellin’ at me. Said I was better gone.” 

“And you came here?” I said. “Why?” 

“Got nowhere else to go,” Lee shrugged. “And I figured that you’d welcome me.” 

“You couldn’t go to a bar?” I asked. 

“Not unless I wanted to run into my sister,” Lee said. “And I don’t feel like having a fucking lecture.” 

I sucked in air through my teeth. “Fine,” I finally said. “But you’re on the couch.” 

“Aw, c’mon, babe,” Lee groaned. He approached me at my place at the counter, and his arms went on either side of me, keeping me right where he wanted me. “It’s been a long day for me. You’re not really gonna make me sleep on no stinkin’ couch, are ya?”

“I sure am,” I told him. “‘Cause you’re sure as hell not sleeping in the bed.”

Lee tilted his head. “Not even a good night kiss?” he asked. 

“No,” I said. “This is an inconvenience for me. I got shit to do tomorrow and I need sleep.” 

“Which is why you were outside smoking,” Lee said. 

“Helps me calm down,” I snapped. “Lee. Let me go.” 

“You sure are a stupid little bitch, huh?” Lee sneered. “You really think I rolled up to your house just wanting a place to sleep? Honey, you shoulda been expecting more.” 

Lee regularly spoke to me like this, but it was usually while I was tying my hair back and kneeling down in front of him. “Don’t call me that,” I said. 

“It’s true, though, ain’t it?” Lee asked. “Just a dumb bitch, that’s all you are. You fuck a married man and try to act like you’re better than everyone else. And you don’t think everyone knows?”

My ego deflated in half a second. “Do they?” I asked shakily. 

“That’s why the wife kicked me out,” Lee said. “Someone told her I was fuckin’ you, and she got mad. Asked for a divorce and all.” 

“We’re not fucking, though,” I tried to counter. 

“Oh, so you’ll put my cock in your mouth and call it ‘convienience’, but you draw the line at calling that ‘fucking’?” Lee scoffed. “C’mon, sugar. The whole town already knows it.” I tried to keep my chin up, but I know that Lee saw my lip trembling. “Oh,” he chuckled. “Except the whole town doesn’t know, do they? Your little boyfriend goes to sacrifice himself for the betterment of our fuckin’ country, and you’re here, whoring yourself out for me? Is that why you don’t wanna fuck me proper? Saving your first time for that bitch-boy?” 

“I’m not a virgin,” I said, but Lee instantly saw through my lie. 

“Bullshit,” he said. “You know how I know? You suck cock like a high schooler.” Lee’s hand went to my waist, and he held me a tight, bruising grip. His hands were so much stronger than I had imagined, and an unfamiliar heat bloomed between my legs. My arousal wasn’t usually a part of the supply closet moments between us, and I had never really felt that before my boyfriend left. This was uncharted territory for me, and I hated that Lee seemed to instantly know that. “I bet you think about me every night, don’t you?” Lee asked. He leaned into me and pressed a kiss to my neck, and a shiver ran down my spine. “Don’t you?” He growled, taking my skin between his front teeth. 

“Fuck,” I hissed. “You’re a dick.”

“Answer me,” Lee snapped, smacking my ass hard enough to make me gasp in pain. “You think of me fucking you stupid every single goddamn night, don’t you? I can tell, with the way you eye me at the station. You’re not subtle, honey, not in the slightest.” 

“Lee,” I whimpered. “You’re hurting me.” 

“Good,” Lee huffed into my neck. He shoved his hips against mine with enough force for my waist to collide with my countertop, and I became well and truly stuck between Lee’s rock-hard cock and the counter. I knew what he was offering, and I couldn’t deny that the thought of his thick cock inside of me made butterflies erupt in my tummy. He kissed my neck, becoming more needy by the second, and he finally sank his teeth into my skin. “Gonna have to make up your mind, sugar, or I’ll do it for you.” 

I gulped down my anxiety, and I whispered, “Be gentle.” 

“That’s a good girl,” Lee chuckled. “Show me where that bed is, sugar. I’m gonna fuck you ‘til you can’t remember your own goddamn name.” 

As soon as I pulled Lee into my bedroom, he had pushed me onto the bed and was kissing me hard. He bit my lips and sucked on my tongue, and he swallowed every pathetic moan I let out. God, I was pathetic. I was shaking, I wanted him so badly. Lee obviously knew that and had no problem with letting it go to his head, because he situated himself over me and gave me a wolfish smile. “You want me to undress you, sugar?” he asked. 

“I can do it,” I told him. 

Quickly, I rid myself of my nightshirt, and my skin tingled at the exposure to the air. Lee gave a gentle sigh, almost like one of relief, and dipped his head to my chest. He ran his tongue from the dip of my neck to between my breasts, and he latched his teeth onto one of my nipples with no warning. I nearly gave a shout of surprise, but I kept it contained. If this bit of foreplay was any indication, there would be enough time for shouting and crying later. 

“These…” Lee growled, grabbing at my breasts with rough hands. “Perfect fuckin’ tits, sugar, Jesus. Wanna come all over them. I just might have to.” 

Lee’s mouth went to my other breast, and one of his hands fluttered down from my chest to my waist, and even lower. Again, without so much as a censure, he pushed a finger past my folds and sunk himself knuckle-deep into my throbbing heat. My back arched against my will and I cried out at the amazing feel of it, and Lee laughed into my tits. “I’m only doin’ this ‘cause it’s your first time,” Lee told me, slowly dragging his finger in and out of me. It was a feeling like nothing I had ever experienced before, and I felt tears welling in my eyes. It was so fucking good. “If I had it my way, I’d already have my cock in you. Have you on your belly, fucking the hell outta you, watching myself fuck you so deep.”

“Please, Lee,” I sobbed. 

Through my watery gaze, I saw Lee smile against my chest. “Oh, what a good girl,” he moaned softly. “You’re my little fuck-toy, ain’t ya? Just fuckin’ desperate and begging for it. I guess it won’t take too long to fuck you absolutely stupid, will it?” I shook my head, and I jerked in surprise when his calloused finger drove itself into that spot inside of me. I called out his name; I was too far gone to care about the sick pleasure I knew it gave him. “Beg for it, sugar. Beg me to fuck you dumb.” 

“Please, Lee,” I whimpered. “Lee, fuck, please. I-I want you to fuck me so hard, please, babe.” 

Lee withdrew his fingers from me and sent a hard slap to my throbbing clit. This time, my gasp was one of genuine pain. “That ain’t what you call me and you fuckin’ know it,” he grunted. “Do it right or don’t do it at all.” 

I knew what he wanted, and I was too far gone to care. “Oh, Daddy, please,” I mewled, squirming, longing for his touch once more. “Fuck me, Daddy, fuck me ‘til I can’t walk. I want you so deep in my pussy, please.” 

“That’s more like it,” Lee whispered. Then, with a strength that I didn’t know that he possessed, he turned me onto my stomach and tugged my hips into the air. My arms shook as I tried to steady myself, and I felt my wet arousal drip down my thigh. As I tried to steady my breathing and remove the fog from my mind, I heard the sounds of Lee undoing his belt and shoving his pants down his thick thighs. His big hand captured a handful of my hair unexpectedly and he tugged me upright with only a small huff of exertion, and he bit my neck again. Lee Bodecker was an animal, and I liked it that way. 

One hand stayed in my hair as his other guided himself inside of me, and I nearly felt sick. The stretch was otherworldly and, dare I say, painful. Maybe the prep he had been doing wasn’t such a poor idea. But I had made my bed; now I had to lie in it. “Slow down,” I panted, feeling the tears return, and I writhed in his grip. “Fuck, Daddy, it hurts.” 

“I know it does,” Lee whispered, biting my ear. “But you asked for this. You asked for me to fuck you, and I’m gonna do just that. And ya know what? I think I’ll come in this pretty little cunt. What do you think of that?” I started to protest, but Lee shoved his fingers in my mouth, effectively shutting me the hell up. Even if I wanted to say something, I couldn’t. “Fill you up to the fuckin’ brim, have it drip outta you, it’ll be such a filthy thing to see. Your little boytoy comes home from the war and you’ve been letting an older, married guy stuff you full of cum? You think he’ll like that? Think he’ll wanna share?” Lee snapped his hips forward, fully burying himself inside of me, and I gave a wrecked sob around his fingers. I thought for sure that he would split me in two. 

Lee’s fingers dug into my hip as he started a steady rhythm. I truly had no idea how old he was-- I imagined probably late 30s or early 40s-- but he was fucking me hard and fast with the stamina of someone my age. Either he had a lot of expertise in the field or he truly had the fantasy of coming inside of me and was wanting to hurry the process along. The more I thought about it, I realized that I really knew nothing about Lee. Not his wife’s name or if he had kids; I didn’t even know that he had a sister until he had mentioned it earlier. However, something about not knowing was better than knowing. At least, this way, I could sort-of distance myself from the act. I was fucking the sheriff (or, technically, he was fucking me), but we weren’t an item. I was just his favorite toy. 

Lee suddenly wrenched my arms behind me and captured them against his chest, fully restraining me and leaving me pliable for him. With his fingers still in my mouth, I could hardly do anything but submit, but I liked that. I couldn’t tell if the throbbing in my pussy was pleasure borne from the way he was punishing my g-spot, or pain derived from his taut balls hitting my wet pussy every second. I had gotten my wish; there was to be no walking in the morning. I could feel spit gathering at the corners of my mouth, and I nearly choked on it, but Lee suddenly slowed down, molding his soft body against my back. “Fuck, honey, I’m gettin’ close,” he panted in my ear. “Now’s the time to tell me if you want me to come in ya or not.” 

His fingers left my mouth, and I tried to form any thought. Lee was the only thing in my head, though, and I could only whimper out his name. That was answer enough for him, because he released my arm and shoved me down onto the bed. His hand grasped the back of my neck and held me down as his hips pounded in and out of me, huffing and panting. I never could have imagined that the sound of that would have turned me on as much as it did, but my muscles tightened around his fat cock, and he laughed. “Aw,” he cooed. “Does the little cunt need to come? I’ll be honest, I forgot all about that. Wanna make a mess all over Daddy’s cock, don’t you?” 

I answered with a keening whine, but that didn’t seem to be enough for Lee. He smacked my ass hard, surely adding to the redness and bruising that I know already existed, and he fisted my hair tighter. “Answer me, bitch,” he growled. “Say it. Say ‘I wanna come on your cock, Daddy’.” 

“I wanna--” I started, and a shudder went down my body when I felt something warm and wet find home on my asshole. I was so far past the point of degradation, and my mind instantly went somewhere else. I had heard about that, sure, but I had never imagined that that could be something that I wanted. And yet, here I was, Lee’s spit coating my ass, mumbling out words that would send me to hell. “Fuck, Daddy. Can you fuck my ass?” 

“Oh, is that what you want?” Lee asked. “As tempting as that is, I’ll save that for another night. I’m not sure you’re a virgin, sugar, begging for it up the ass. But, fuck, it looks so good… I guess we have something to look forward to, huh?” 

Lee’s arm wound around my body and he instantly went to my poor clit. His fingers had tugged at it enough to make it tender to the touch, and he abused it as he fucked right into my g-spot. “Jesus Christ,” Lee whispered. “Squeezing the shit outta me. I’m serious, honey, let me know if you don’t want me to come in you. You’re about to not-- fuck, Y/N-- have a choice.” 

“I want it,” I told him. “I fuckin’ want it.” 

That seemed to be the final straw, because Lee sent one more hard fuck into me, and I felt his cock twitch before warmth spilled into my pussy. The squelching as he continued to fuck me through his orgasm was so loud that I was afraid that the whole of Knockemstiff would hear it, but I couldn’t make up my mind on whether I cared or not. Somewhere in the middle of that, Lee cussed and began to rub my belly, whispering sweet things to me that would have felt out of place only minutes before. I didn’t realize that I had come. I liked the feeling of it, though, especially with how sweet Lee was suddenly.

“Good girl,” Lee told me. He shushed me as I moaned and cried, my pleasure edging on pain, and he pushed my hair away from my neck and placed gentle, open-mouthed kisses on my throat. “So, so good for me, ain’t ya? So goddamn pretty when you’re coming all over my cock. I can’t tell you how much I dreamt of this…” 

My entire body trembled as Lee pulled out of me, and I collapsed onto my bed, panting and trying to form a coherent thought that wasn’t just the sheriff’s name. Only a few seconds passed before he was on me again, but it felt different this time. Lee moved the two of us under the blankets and rubbed my back, and he kissed my forehead gently. I nearly thought it was love. As my tears dried and feeling returned to my fingers and toes, I became aware that Lee was naked against me. As far as I knew, he hadn’t undressed as he had fucked me. His skin was so warm and it was comforting, and I nuzzled my head into his soft chest. My throat was so dry as I tried to swallow to form words, and Lee titled my face up in order for me to look him in those pretty blue eyes of his. 

“How’re ya feeling, sugar?” He asked, his voice as wrecked and raw as mine. “Feelin’ alright?”

“Sore,” I mumbled. “It hurts, Lee.” 

“I’m sorry, honey,” Lee whispered, and I knew that he was being honest. Lee was perhaps the biggest jerk in town, his elected title obviously inflating his ego more than it should have, but I never knew that he was capable of being sweet in this manner. “I was real rough with ya and I just shouldn’t have been. I feel plum awful ‘bout it.” 

“No,” I croaked, splaying my hands against his chest. Underneath the coarse hair, I could make out white marks on his skin, and I pressed my forehead against him. As I studied his body, I saw more and more of the marks, and it was only when I saw my hip against his that I connected the dots. Stretch marks. My Lee had stretch marks all over him, just like I did. “Please don’t. I woulda stopped you if it was too much. Thank you.”

Lee nodded and sighed into my messy hair. “You looked so beautiful,” he told me. “Any man that calls you his is a lucky fuckin’ bastard, I’ll tell you that much.” 

I couldn’t help myself. My lips pressed against my chest, and I took care to kiss every mark I laid my eyes on. “You’re…” I began. “You’re gorgeous, Lee.” 

“Nah, knock that shit off,” Lee chuckled. “I ain’t nothin’ compared to you, sugar.” 

“No, really,” I told him. “Those big blue eyes, your pink cheeks… Your fat fuckin’ cock--” I laughed at myself, and Lee kissed the top of my head. “You’re the most handsome man I ever met.”

“Even more than your soldier boyfriend?” Lee asked. 

“My soldier boyfriend’s like a twig, Lee,” I told him. “There’s nothing there for me. But you…” 

“I’m fuckin’ fat, s’what I am,” Lee said with a smile, but I saw the hurt in his eyes. “I’m old and I’m fat--”

“Alright, shut up,” I said. Suddenly, a different sort of desire burned in me, and I pushed Lee onto his back before I straddled his waist. “There ain’t nothing wrong with you, ya hear? You are fucking perfect, Lee.”

The insecurity flashed across his face, darkening his features for only a second. “But the marks--” 

I twisted my body to show him my hip and thigh. “I got ‘em too,” I said. “And don’t act like you didn’t see them, not for one second. And what did you do? You didn’t give a shit. I don’t either. They’re a part of you, and you are so sexy, Lee. I wanted to jump your bones from the moment I met you, and nothing ‘bout that’s changed and nothing’ll make it change. And ya know what? I’d reckon you’re stuck with me, so get used to it.” 

“Oh, I’m stuck with ya, am I?” Lee asked with a smile. He tugged me down to him, pressing his tongue into my mouth once more, and the ache between my legs was replaced with the now-familiar pleasing tingle. “And I get no say in it?” 

“I think you got your say when you wanted to fuck me up the ass,” I said, sinking my teeth into his plush bottom lip. “What a fuckin’ cliche we are, huh? The sheriff fuckin’ his secretary.” 

“When I first hired you,” Lee began, his warm hands traveling all over my body, and his fingers took special care to trace the white marks along my thighs, hips, tits, and ass. “My wife hated the idea. She said she was worried that late nights at the station would wreak havoc on me, and having a pretty little thing like you there with me was dangerous.” 

“Don’t go talkin’ ‘bout your wife,” I groaned. “That’s such a turn off, Lee.” 

“Oh, is it?” Sheriff Lee Bodecker laughed, stuffing his fingers back inside me, just like nothing had ever happened. “‘Cause you seem all wet for Daddy, just the same.” 

[amazingphilza]

snapchat :: c!tommy x reader

fluff / angst , platonic , gender neutral ! first request whoop whoop :D [check pinned for more info on requests]

synopsis: ‘what’s so bad about adding every person on snapchat?’ tommy thought. unknowingly, with all the other people he begins talking to during exile, one ends up being you; tubbo’s younger sibling. that is until you both visit tommy in logstedshire.

cw: i purposely misspell a few words for the texting part, i hope it’s still readable for y’all! and i haven’t actually used snapchat in years so let’s pretend i know what i’m doing :)

tommy smiled at his brand new phone

first thing he does? install snapchat and reddit

if he couldn’t talk to his best friends face to face anymore, at least he had people online to talk to, right?

tommy hoped from all his possessions dream would destroy, he could at least keep a phone

without much thought, tommy opened snapchat and began adding every account and messaging them the same obnoxious message

BE MY FRIEND . MESSAGE BACK NOW.

most people chose ignore tommy, not having a clue why he was messaging them

but as for you, when you had the notification that someone added you on snapchat and started aggressively messaging you, it made you curious

you read their user

“wife haver”?? huh???

instead of immediately blocking the person, you replied back

what?

not even less than a second later you get a reply back

OH MY GOD FINALLY SOMEONE

IM DYING

without context, you were more than confused

genuinely dying is very alarming but you shouldn’t text a random stranger your last words

huh?

THE GREEN BASTARD TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME

YOURE ALL I HAVE LEFT

plwase helo

Help

where did tou go

Ohm hgod

hHello?

NOOOO NOT YOU TOO

PLEASR

you laughed at the person’s desperation and ignored the messages

if the stranger wasn’t going introduce themselves, you wouldn’t either

however, after a while you realized you had over 100 snapchat notifications within an hour of trying to ignore the person

however it was just jumbled up words and useless spam, nothing important

as if the stranger would said anything important to your concern anyway

do you ever shut up??

fuck you

a normal person wouldve taken offense by these messages but you found them quite amusing

it wasn’t like you had anything else better to do

and this acceptance was the start of your odd friendship with the stranger

you were still on edge because you had no idea who they were and their intentions but the anonymity was mutual nonetheless

if the desperate spamming “wife haver” isn’t going to formally tell you who they actually were, you weren’t going to risk exposing yourself first

but in the past few weeks, you and the person had normal conversations apart from the first day they messaged you

well as normal as you could’ve expected from someone named “wife haver”

they were the first to send an actual snap as well

that was when you found out the “wife haver” was an obnoxious boy that looked around your age, maybe a slightly older

he had sent you a photo of him holding a thumbs up and trying to smile when he was clearly upset

just got all my stuff exploded again, feeling good

you noticed his messy blonde hair and tattered clothes

what the hell happened to this guy?

part of you was confused, and the other was concerned

u good bro??

well

i don’t have anymore tools and materials if that’s anything

so no

this is shit

lmao it was probably deserved

FUCK YOU!!!!!

im kidding that’s sad

but like do u actually need stuff?

you contemplated sending your next message and thought of the consequences

but in the end, you were probably better off than him so if he did try to do something suspicious, you could easily just leave with your trident or defend yourself

i can bring some things over if you’d like

please oh my god it’s so boring here

where the hell do you even live???

it finally hit that you would be visiting this mysterious person

you never really had much to do during the day and he had nothing against your enchanted netherite armor when compared to his worn-out clothes

you were surprised that he was quick to be comfortable with you visiting him so continued to message the boy

if you live nearby i can just stop over and bring some spare diamond tools and armor if you’d like or smth

DIAMOND !,?’/:@!?:/-',(

ya sure lol

WTF

GOOD SHIT LAD! THANKS

WHEN DO U WANT TO VISIT???

his shock and excitement made you smile

maybe this wasn’t a bad idea

before replying, you quickly ran to your storage room you gather your spare items

instead of normally texting, you decided to take a picture of all the enchanted tools and armor and send back a snap

i’m down for tomorrow, turn on your snapmaps so i can come by ;D

he quickly replied back with handfuls of ‘holy shits’ and ‘YEAHS’

you couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear which caught the attention of your older brother who had just walked in to get blocks from the wall of chests

“ew why are you smiling at your phone like that?”

“oh shut up, tubbo”

“it’s weird”

you roll your eyes at him in a playful matter

“whatever! i’m gonna be out tomorrow to visit a friend, okay?”

“you have friends? wow, sounds like a first”

“you’re such a dick!!” you yell at him whilst trying to hold in your laughter

“oh yeah? go on, tell me about this friend of yours then. meeting strangers online, hm?”

“if you’re so concerned, you can come with if you’re not busy with whatever a president does. i promise they’re not some weirdo like you”

tubbo’s tone was sarcastic but he agreed then left you to your own thoughts

you were excited for tomorrow that you were restless in your bed when nighttime had came

somehow you managed to fall asleep from tiredness in the middle of the night

soon enough it was morning

before doing anything, you checked your phone and went through all your notifications

you then checked snapchat, browsing snapmaps and realized how far you had to travel

despite the long travel, you brought yourself up from your bed and gathered all the items you were going to bring

you stuffed a full set of enchanted diamond armor, tools, and over a stack of golden carrots all in your inventory

after finishing all your preparations, you searched for your older brother

with just a loud yell of his name he appeared almost instantly

“you ready to go, tubbo?”

“yep! you know where you’re going right?”

you scoffed at the question

“of course!”

and with that, the two of you traveled on foot until you reached the ocean

you had brought 2 boats with you knowing that you couldn’t imagine being in the same boat as your brother; it would’ve ended up in endless bickering

after a while of being at sea, tubbo started to become impatient

“what the hell! how far does this person live, y/n??”

“i dunno!”

you knew the general direction you were supposed to be going to after studying your snapmaps all morning but you couldn’t check how much farther it would take to get there; there was obviously no signal in the middle of the ocean

it felt like forever before you saw land in the horizon

suddenly you regained all the energy you have lost from rowing

“there!! that place with the white tent, i can barely see it”

“finally”

with the burst of energy, you got to land in no time

the moment you got off your boat, the blonde spotted the two of you and ran in your direction

once appearing nearly feet apart, he stared at your brother who also had the shocked expression

“TOMMY?”

“TUBBO?”

your brother had more of a confused expression whilst the other boy seemed a bit mad

maybe he was always mad considering the endless conversations you had with him ranting about some ‘green bastard’

but tubbo quickly got defensive, stepping in front of you

you didn’t understand how they knew each other beforehand, but at the same time you never caught up with tubbo’s friends either

you needed answers

“what’s going on?”

“y/n! you were messaging tommy this whole time? why didn’t you tell me?”

tubbo was clearly frustrated and a feeling of guilt washed over you

it didn’t click that you never exchanged names and admitting it did not seem believable

tubbo was in complete shock, trying to process everything that was happening

“WHAT?! AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING?”

you mumbled out your words

“a few weeks, i can’t remember”

“uh, yeah sorry” tommy had confirmed your statements. “i didn’t even know you had a sibling, tubbo! i actually didn’t know their name until now as well..”

“HUH??”

“but if i knew i was messaging a tub-ling, i wouldn’t have in the first place!”

“what the fuck tommy!!!”

“no, but how do you even know each other?” you had interrupt the two

tubbo had chosen his words carefully

“we’re... friends”

tommy had seemed upset at this

“tubbo....”

“no, don’t talk to me, tommy. you were exiled for a reason. y/n? give him the stuff you wanted to him and let’s go, this was a waste of time”

you were saddened but obliged, you didn’t want to anger your brother even more

“fuck you, tubbo! can’t believe this was how you visit me for the first time, i don’t even want your pity shit”

before you could react, tubbo led you to the back of his boat

he got in the front and quickly rowed away from the land you barely stayed on, leaving your boat behind on the shores

you looked back at tommy who already had left back to his tent

the boat ride was silent and full of sorrow until you arrived back at l’manburg

once you got home you immediately opened snapchat to message tommy

hey tommy i’m really sorry about today. i had no idea,,,

you thought he would’ve ignored your message but instead replied right after

but your heart sank at reading the message

it’s fine

i think it’s best we stop talking y/n

you didn’t want to lose a friend so quickly but after all the tension from today, you didn’t know how to come back from it

so instead of arguing you agreed, even if it wasn’t honest

yeah, me too

and that was the last message you sent to tommy

even though the whole situation was confusing from the start, it didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy the random conversations you had

the bizarre encounter was unforgettable

it made you even sadder when you realized the first time you two used each other’s names through text would also be the last

a/n: ngl, i didn’t think i would finish this on a kinda angsty ending but here we are! and grrr it’s 4am and i just wanted to finish this,, let’s hope there aren’t that many grammar mistakes LMAO anyway i hope y’all enjoyed <3

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 13 - P I L L O W T A L K

-

A K U T U G A W A

“Aku, can I ask you a legitimate question?” You would inquire timidly, your voice meek and frail. “Of course.” He would murmur in response, the softness in his voice filling the suppressed silence in the room. Although the room had been swallowed in an impregnable, numbing darkness, both you and Akutugawa would lie awake, your bodies entwined in an intricate tangle. Furthermore, you had given up on sleeping hours ago, your conversation seemingly never ending. “Do you really love me? Do you really see a future with us?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, your cheeks turning crimson. You were thankful for the darkness in the room, for it hid your abashed facial expression. You knew you shouldn’t be asking this question. Out of the multitude of times he had reassured you that he loved you, you knew all too well that you were completely ridiculous for asking, and yet you still did. Why couldn’t you grasp the concept? Why couldn’t you just realize o that he really, truly did love you? “Y/N.” Aku would finally sigh, his voice disapproving yet understanding. He knew your struggles. He knew you all too well. And where he was far from perfect, he loved you greatly. And, quite frankly, since he met you he had became a better person and that’s all he ever wanted to do. You deserved nothing but the best. Constricting his arms tighter around your body, Aku would kiss your head for a few lingering moments. “If there is no you, there is no me. I plan to spend the end of my days with you. There is simply no other way. I love you more than I’ll ever be able to show you.” A ragged gasp would slip from your lips, your eyes slipping closed in elation. “Thank you.” You would breathe, your head nuzzling against the crook of his neck, relief trickling through your veins. “And I know you are probably feeling guilty because you asked, but please know I’ll tell you I’ll love you a million times if I have to. My heart is yours and yours only.” Finding your lips somewhere in the dark, he would silence your racing thoughts with a tender kiss to your lips. These late nights were nights you cherished the most.

-

D A Z A I

Your body would involuntarily launch forward, your breathing shallow, your body covered in a sheen layer of sweat. You could feel your heart slamming against your ribs, yours hands clawing at your chest desperate for any relief you could find. “Shhh, it was just another nightmare, love. You’re safe.” Jumping as two arms pulled you back, you would remain tense even after Dazai would reach over and turn on the bedside lamp. Even though the light made things a little less alarming, you would still struggle to come back down to reality, your pounding heart being a reminder of that. “Breathe with me.” Grasping his hand in yours, Dazai would inhale slowly then exhale encouraging you to calm yourself. Where it was difficult to get you to breath, it was not impossible and Dazai was patient as he completed the breathing exercises with you. This was something you always loved about him; he never gave up on you. “It’s that damn green snake.” You would mutter, sitting up as you rubbed your temples. “Green snake?” Dazai would inquire sitting up with you as he rubbed your shoulders from behind. “Yeah. When I was younger and I was under a great deal of stress, I would have a dream that a never ending green snake would be slithering under my porch. I use to scare the crud out of my family screaming every night about it. Good to know I can carry on the good legend by scaring the bejesus out of my boyfriend.” Chuckling humorlessly, you would shake your head pinching the space between your eyes. Great. Why had you just told him this? Little did you know that Dazai was smirking behind you, his heart swelling with adoration. “Belladonna, I’m not entirely sure if this is coincidental or not, but I actually use to be a snake slayer of the green variety.” Grabbing a pillow you would turn to face him, smacking him gently in the face with it as you rolled your eyes.

“Shut up.”

“It’s true. I, Osamu Dazai, use to pride myself in being Yokohama’s number one green snake slayer. Which means, as of right now, you are with the safest person you could possibly be with.” Pulling you into a bone crushing hug, you wouldn’t be able to stifle your giggle as his lips pressed against the crown of your head. You wanted to be mad at him for mocking you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to. Why did he have to be so damn charming? “But in all reality, Y/N. I will always protect you nightmare or reality. And when you lay your head over my heart to fall asleep every night, I hope you know that it beats for you and you only. These nightmares may be temporary, but know that my protectiveness over you is eternal.” Stroking your hair softly, your heart would slow back down to a steady pace, your breathing evening out. You knew all of this to be true, but hearing it would bring you the smallest shred of relief. How did Dazai somehow manage to make everything better?

-

C H U U Y A

“I know I come off as confident, I know I am powerful, but sometimes I truthfully feel a little insecure.” His words would be slow, his hand lazily stroking through your tangled locks. “Chuuya.” You would muse, your chest tight as you rested your chin on his bare chest, your eyes sad. Chuuya had never displayed this side of himself to you. Perhaps his mind was still hazy from the raging intercourse you had just engaged in, perhaps he was finally allowing his guard to tumble down around him. Either way, you were enjoying this side of him. Even if it did make you sad. “Chuuya. You are so handsome, truly debonair.” Raising your hand to run your fingertips down his cheek, he would twist his mouth in chagrin, his eyes wondering anywhere but your own. “Don’t be embarrassed. You know you are allowed to feel insecure, right?” Finally locking eyes with you, he would reach his own hand to run through your bangs, his eyes soft and gentle. “Y’know, it’s this misconception among genders that men aren’t allowed to feel insecure. That men are expected to lift their girl up and to be strong at all times. I’m telling you right now that that’s horse shit. Chuuya, you have every single right to feel this way and to embrace it. In fact, I want you to talk to me about it. I want to lift you up the same way you lift me up,” Propping himself up on his elbows, he would stare wide eyed at you struggling for the right words to say. Furthermore, he had never in a life had someone tell him this. His whole life, he was expected to be strong and dependable. His whole life, he was expected to be a leader before he could even fully grasp his powers himself. Never had he let his guard down this way, and had someone tell him that it was okay to be soft. Where it was something he didn’t want to get himself in the habit of feeling, it felt nice to know that his thoughts were safe with you. “You are amazing, you know that? I mean, seriously, Y/N.” Sitting up completely he would ogle at you, his eyes sparkling with wonder. “And you are beautiful. And intelligent. And strong. Everything about you. Those eyes, that nose, that smile, all of you. It is all perfect.” Giving you a chaste kiss on the lips, your eyes would widen before closing slowly, melting into the passionate kiss. “Just don’t forget who’s the boss after you’re done showering me with compliments.” Chuuya would joke, his laughter gentle. “Oh, hush, you gorgeous, ravishing man.”

-

A T S U S H I

His careful eyes would drink in your every move. Trembling as the rain began to pour harder against the windows, jumping at the smallest rumbles of thunder, wincing whenever the lightening strike was particularly bright; you were afraid. Very afraid. It was odd, seeing you in this light. It was odd seeing you trying to conceal your feelings when typically you were an open book. Were you embarrassed? Perhaps, you didn’t want Atsushi to know. Perhaps, you didn’t normally tell people this, but honestly did you really think he’d care? “Atsushi, you’re so deep in thought.” You would muse, poking at his cheek playfully. “I can always tell when you’re thinking hard because you furrow your eyebrows and you purse your lips.” Brushing your fingertips over his lips, you would smile up at him as he nuzzled his nose against yours giving you an Eskimo kiss. “I was just thinking the same thing about you, Y/N.” Atsushi would say a little sheepishly, taking in your baffled expression carefully. “You don’t like storms do you?” Punctuating his inquiry perfectly, a loud crack of thunder would send you trembling under his arm, clutching onto him tighter than you were before. “I guess I’m busted.” You would sigh, looking up at him with red cheeks. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you know that, right? Your feelings are understandable, storms can be destructive and alarming.” Stroking his fingers through your hair with one hand, he would rub circles into your back with the other knowing that this was what typically calmed you down when you were anxious. “I know I don’t have the ability to control the elements, but I do have the ability to make you feel safe and I will always make sure I’m doing everything I can to make sure that you feel safe whenever you’re with me. I promise you that.” Kissing the top of your head, you would bury yourself deep in his chest settling into his warm embrace. “As long as your arms are around me, Atsushi, I will always feel safe.”

[yukipri]

On the Baratie, Prologue - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Thanks to everyone who sent in their opinion on the East Blue stories poll! I think Sanji’s had the most, so we’re starting off with more Baratie!

While there’ll be a continuation, here’s a bit of prelude, because they need a different reason to go to the Baratie. The ASL Pirates already have a cook after all!

Like a prologue to On the Baratie, Part 1

~~

When Thatch makes up his mind to accompany Ace back to East Blue, he knows that there's one place he wants to visit no matter what.

He's only been to East Blue once, and it was honestly ages ago, and he doubts there'll be another chance in the near future. Not many opportunities to visit the weakest Blue as a commander in an Emperor's crew, after all.

And while Thatch doubts he'd travel halfway around the world for the sole purpose of visiting this spot, he's lucky. Because on this particular trip, it's practically along the way. They're passing right by the area on their way back to re-entering the Grand Line, so there's no way in hell he's letting this slip by.

It's the only request Thatch has made on this journey, and Ace and Luffy, who are the Captains and therefore technically get to decide where they go, have no objections. Luffy's already bobbing up and down in excitement, despite their guides estimating that they still have a ways to go.

"The Baratie, huh," Ace grins. "Never heard of it, we didn't pass by our first time through, did we Deuce?"

"You've never heard of it because you lived in the middle of nowhere, in a jungle with barely any contact with human civilization," Deuce says pointedly. "Most people in East Blue at least know of it, it's kinda famous."

Ace just shrugs, and Luffy whoops as the movement of his shoulders momentarily boosts her higher. Ace indulges her and repeats the movement more aggressively until she's bouncing, and Deuce sighs. The two captains' attentions have shifted, and now they're preoccupied by the most important topic of all: food.

"Food~!" Luffy sings, hopping from one arm to the other as Ace switches to spinning her around, and Deuce has to duck to avoid her tail. "Yummy yummy food at a restaurant! It's gonna be amazing!"

"It really will be amazing, if Zeff hasn't lost his touch," Thatch agrees, and Luffy and Ace cheer. "I've never eaten at this restaurant of his, but I was a fan of the Cook Pirates when I was a kid." 

His expression darkens, and Ace stills, recalling that Thatch mentioned they all died or something.

"Sucks what happened to them," Ace offers.

But Thatch just shrugs. It was around a decade ago, and shit happens out at sea. "I'm just glad Zeff survived. He'll have trained the new cooks well, and it'll be funny to see the old man actually settled down as a civilian."

Thatch was still a teen the last time he saw Zeff, who was Captain of the infamous Cook Pirates back in the day. They were always picking fights, and picked the wrong one with Pops, and predictably lost. Pops let them live, and they had a grand party, and Thatch remembers being captivated by their culinary expertise.

Thatch chuckles to himself, and the two brothers look at him curiously, blinking with adorably similar expressions.

"I just remembered, Zeff tried to scout me. Pops wasn't thrilled."

Ace barks a laugh, hefting Luffy into a more comfortable position before she suddenly squirms out of his arms. Luffy makes a grabby motion towards Thatch, and Ace obligingly if reluctantly moves closer to let her swing up onto the taller man's shoulders.

Thatch perks up at the sudden attention, because it's not every day that the little mermaid chooses to climb someone other than her brother. Thatch knows she doesn't need it, but offers her a hand to get settled more comfortably, which she takes with a pleased little purring sound that makes his heart skip a beat. Thatch pointedly doesn't look at Ace, but he can still feel his burning gaze.

He's not sure what prompted the sudden transport transfer, but suddenly Luffy's leaning forward over his shoulder to peer directly into his face, and she's close. Thatch tries very hard not to blush.

"But if the Zeff-dude cooks are that good, are they better than you, Thatch?" Luffy asks, eyes wide. "That can't be right, because Thatch's food is the best in the world! Better than even Makino's!"

Those words do make Thatch flush crimson, and Ace snorts. Thatch ignores him, too busy trying to control the warmth bubbling up inside his chest.

Thatch doesn't think he's arrogant, but he also isn't unused to his food being praised. As ungrateful as most of his brothers back aboard the Moby usually are, he's still the head chef who leads the culinary division of their entire fleet, and it's a position he's earned. He's personally trained and assigned all of the cooks on every Whitebeard ship. He knows he cooks well.

But there's something special about Luffy's unique brand of painfully genuine praise. Even though they've been traveling together for a few weeks now, she never gets bored of singing her appreciation at every mealtime with, if anything, increasing enthusiasm. It's like every time is her first time trying his food. Thatch in no way needs her compliments to adore her, he was besotted far before she even knew he was a cook, but boy does he appreciate them, and he doubts he'll ever really get used to them.

Thatch has been called the "Best Cook in the World" by many, and he'd accepted their words politely. But to hear them from Luffy feels like the highest honor he can ever attain.

Thatch feels unbearably fond as he reaches up to fluff Luffy's hair, and she leans into his hand, eyes curving up into slits like a happy kitten, her tail curling back and forth at his back.

Ace cheerfully ruins their moment.

"We'll just have to see, Lu, and maybe if you like their cooking better, we can ditch Thatch and kidnap one of their cooks." Ace leers like the evil little shit he is, and Thatch gasps with exaggerated indignation.

"No, no!" Luffy boos her brother, clinging to Thatch like he's the embodiment of all the meals Ace had threatened she'd lose, before she swings her tail around to smack at Ace none too gently until he grudgingly raises his arms in surrender.

"If we like their cooking, then we can keep Thatch AND kidnap one of their cooks!"

"Lil Seastar, you're not satisfied with just me, even if my food is the best in the world?" Thatch teases, and sticks his tongue out at Ace when he scowls. The young Captain isn't so thrilled with Thatch's new nickname for his baby brother, and Thatch thinks it's fair revenge for him being mean. 

"Thatch's food is the best!" Luffy cries again, and Thatch glows. "But if we steal a Zeff, then we have two cooks, which means more food!" She nods, pleased with her conclusion. "More food is always good!"

Well, she's a little confused, but her point is made. They hopefully won't steal Zeff himself, as Thatch doubts he'll be happy to part with his beloved restaurant, but perhaps nabbing one of his assistants isn't a terrible idea.

While handling even Ace and Luffy's appetites is no problem for Thatch, who's used to feeding the entire Moby Dick, some company in the kitchen might not be bad.

(And, a voice whispers in his head, that they'll need a cook that Thatch approves of when he inevitably has to leave to return to Pops. It's a voice Thatch ignores, so that he can enjoy this moment, for now.)

~~

~~

I don't think it's actually ever officially stated whether Thatch's Division is actually in charge of dining, but there are other divisions that are specified, so I thought it would be interesting, so I made it that way ^ ^;

(Edit: Actually it IS explicitly stated that the 4th Division is in charge of dining, this is canon and not just a headcanon whee~!)

And if Thatch as the head of the cooking division, then to me it makes sense that he'd be insanely good at it, not just your average chef. Because I mean, they're the Whitebeard pirates. And sure, they're not as food-centric as the Big Mom Pirates, but the WBs always have quality. Cooking, I feel, is a lot more subjective than say, "Strongest Swordsman in the World" but I don't think it'd be a stretch to say that Thatch is Up There.

This isn't at all to shit on canon!Sanji or his cooking which is probably also insanely good, but Sanji's a lot younger, and the places he's been, the people he's learned from, and the people he's cooked for are far more limited. He, like everyone else, is learning rapidly by stepping out into a far larger world.

Thatch, in comparison, has been on the Grand Line for a loooooong time, traveling with the most infamous crew currently in existence, and probably has picked up a LOT of things from a lot of people. While he doesn't have an official canon age, given the ages of the other Commanders (Marco 45; Jozu 42; Vista 47), I'm putting him at 41 here. That's decades of difference in experience.

It's one of the reasons why I think exploring Thatch and Sanji's mentor-rival relationship in this AU could be so much fun, because think of how much Sanji could grow with someone like Thatch in the crew.

Luckily, Sanji's dream is to find All Blue, not to defeat the cooking equivalent of Mihawk in Iron Chef Grand Line, so outside of fighting for the heart of the love of their lives, I think they can get along quite well ^ ^;

(also do u like his nickname for Lu. I had to consult a friend. But I think it's beginning to stick for me ^ ^;)

As always, any thoughts or comments make my day! Thanks for reading <3

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

Read the next part: 👒🐟On the Baratie, Part 1

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

hi! i don’t wanna put any pressure on you or anything this is totally up to you but would you ever consider writing a boxer!grayson fanfic/concepts/blurbs? i love ur writing and hope u have the best day💖xo

The week before a match has always been the hardest. Grayson could easily lose himself in the long training sessions and dehydrating himself to keep a certain weight for the match.

Tensions are high, his temper short and conversation scarce.

When he started boxing, it was meant to be a vent to get out all his anger and ease his mind. As a temperamental man by nature, Grayson struggled to keep a clear head and the anger? It was always in him. It felt like poison eating away at him, rotting his heart.

Whether he liked it or not, Grayson alienated everyone he cared about. In time, even Ethan was gone. Grayson didn't hold it against him though, genuinely happy Ethan had moved to Australia with the love of his wife, a baby on the way. There was no bad blood between them, but the distance took a toll.

That's how he found himself alone, using a punching bag as his therapy. Knuckles are safely wrapped, his vision blurring with the sweat getting into his eyes. His hair is falling on his dampen forehead, sticking. Every punch brings more pain – the kind you can't heal with a band aid and the kind you'd never see just by looking at the handsome boxer.

The world sees him as a man-whore who spends his millions on women and cars, but he was empty – just as empty as the bottom of every bottle he got to. Drinking is bad, he knows that. Hell, he preached that every day to younger generations, but he found solace in it – solace in the ability the drinks had to knock him out at the end of the day. Dreamless, alone and never sure he'd wake up the next morning.

Biting his bottom lip, Grayson groaned as he used all his strength, slamming his fists into the bag, imagining it's him. He wished he could beat the bad out of himself, to start anew. He wished for a new life, a woman by his side – the kind of happiness his brother had managed to secure.

It's ironic – Grayson was the brother who wanted a family and kids with the house on a beach in Australia and Ethan, the brother who wasn't sure he'd ever want to get married got exactly what Grayson wanted.

With one last punch, Grayson sent the bag flying, the chain holding it breaking with the forceful impact and while he was used to finishing his sessions in the same manner, the surprised gasp he heard informed him someone else hadn't.

“Who the fuck are you?” Grayson grumbled, turning toward a girl who was trying to remain inconspicuous, keeping to the shadows.

“I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!” His roaring voice caused the girl to step back, frightened.

“I just wanted to talk.” She managed to say, breathless. She didn’t seem to falter in her wish to do so.

“This was a closed session.” Grayson lowers his voice, noticing the girl is uncomfortable, but he still couldn’t see her face. “I don’t appreciate strangers around when I train.”

"Sorry," the girl shivered as Grayson approached, his usually dark eyes filled with anger.

"Don't ever. Do that. Again," he growled; his eyes completely turning black. He wanted to make sure she deleted any footage if she took some, but when she steps closer, he’s the one losing his breath.

“Y/N?” His eyes widen, finding it hard to believe she had come to see him. After almost a year of no contact, Y/N, his best friend, had come to him.

“You don’t seem well, Gray.” Her concerned tone breaks him out of her spell and he swallows thickly.

“It’s the stress of an upcoming match. I’m fine.” He shrugs it off, dragging his forearm across his forehead to clear the sweat. He didn’t know if his heart’s speed was due to boxing or seeing Y/N, but the ache in his chest was certainly her doing.

“Is that why you can’t look me in the eye? You forget I know you.” She licks her lips, stepping closer with caution. She could admit Ethan had sent her because he was drowning in guilt of leaving, but she wanted to see him again. Even if the last time she saw him was also the time he broke her heart and told her to leave and not come back.

He often spoke in anger, things he never really meant. It was something she was used to, but she couldn’t take any longer. So, when he spoke the unforgivable words, she listened. For once in her life, Y/N listened and to be here, stand before him? That was the hardest thing she ever had to do.

“You’ve been gone for a year. You know shit about me now.” Grayson spat, turning halfway away from her to find his water bottle.

“And whose fault was that?” She purses her lips, leaning against a wall with an unreadable expression on her face. Well, he could tell she’s annoyed, but that was a constant for her in his presence. She had learned to hide her feelings away and in a way Grayson was happy she did. It was far too easy to read her in the past and he knew it would bring her a lot of grief in the past.

“You chose to leave.” Grayson counters, his frown deepening and yet her scoff made him soften.

“You told me leave and never come back! If you ever watched that big mouth of yours, you’d realize the shit you say hurts! It pushes people away and if you keep telling them to leave, they eventually do!” Y/N never intended to shout, but he always had a way of pushing her buttons.

In the past, Y/N was the calm to his storm. She could easily diffuse any situation, set him back on the right pat. She was the one girl Ethan truly believed could ever fit his brother’s temper. She was perfect for him in every way. But Grayson was determined to prove his brother otherwise and he managed to do so when she checked out of his life.

“You know what?” Y/N chuckles dryly, raising her arms in mock surrender. “I’m done. I shouldn’t have come.” Turning on her heel, she had expected to walk out, her mind at peace. She told herself she tried and that was more than enough – more than she owed him. In fact, she did it to remind herself why she was right to walk away, but the last thing she expected was for Grayson to run after her, taking her by her elbow and spinning her to face him.

“Please don’t.” He whispers, barely forming words as he chokes up at the thought of watching her walk away for the second time in his life. He made the mistake once, he didn’t plan on repeating it.

“Don’t what?” She didn’t make it easy on him, daring him to stop running and just admit he needs help.

“Don’t leave me.” Grayson manages, his grip on her elbow growing tighter, nearly painful.

“Why not?” Unblinking, she fixes her gaze on him, awaiting for any reason to stay. She had so many reasons to go, too many to count, but only one would make her stay and it was the cause of their last argument.

But he didn’t say it. He didn’t utter a single thing, simply releasing her elbow as she pulled back.

“You’ll never be able to say it, will you?” She narrows her eyes at him. Eyes that once looked at him with devotion and longing had turned hard and haunted. “You threw the words around so easily back then, but you could never tell me the same.” Shaking her head in disappointment, Y/N’s eyes fall to his wrapped hands, taking notice of the way he wrapped them.

Once upon a time, she wrapped his knuckles. She was his lucky charm. She was the girl who loved him so easily, without a doubt, but he never loved her back.

“Good luck. I truly hope you find what you’re looking for.” She wraps her arms around her, as if she’s comforting herself.

Grayson watched her leave, staring at her disappearing figure as he felt loneliness creep up on him again. He had traded everything for his career, Y/N included.

She’s right, he threw the L word around so much that it lost meaning. And perhaps he did love her, but could he give her anything more than a maybe? It didn’t feel fair to drag her back in his life only to break her heart again.

Y/N deserved better, Grayson decided. For the first time in years, he did the selfless thing – he let his good luck charm go. It didn’t feel good, but it felt right.

Drawing a deep breath, Grayson closed his eyes and hoped one day she’ll see that letting her go was his way of saying “I love you”.

[magiefish]

hhhhhhhhhh guess who drew all the batim characters in prep for the comic they’re making!

yeah so it took like 4 days to draw all these guys, and it was actually pretty fun figuring out colours and designs and stuff!

(also, update on the Reveries Twisted comic, I have a plan for the first chapter but i have like, 7 tests next week and I haven’t started drawing it yet so it’s definitely not going to be coming out anytime soon sdfgsdfsj but i am still working on it!)

anyway, i felt like writing little descriptions for every character, so feel free to read these below the ‘keep reading’ line if you feel like it! My ask box is also always open, so if u have any questions feel free to ask

Bertrum Piedmont-he/him, gay/ace

-Started working as a mechanic at about 15 and worked his way up from there -Everyone in the studio @ him: why are u british -His big ego often gets in the way of things, but at his core he's a good person (doing bad shit but ultimately having good intentions is common among these guys shdgfs) -Wlw & mlm solidarity w/ Lacie, who is his most trusted confidant and friend -Actually treats his employees well, even when they do basically nothing all day, so he does a lot of work himself most of the time Linda Stein-she/her, straight as a ruler -Parents immigrated from Spain -She's very catholic and very into 'traditional family values' and that sort of stuff -She is sweet, but her strict morals and black and white ethics often make her do unintentional harm -She is also pretty oblivious to most things Jack Fain-he/him & they/them, pan/ace, OCD -Mother immigrated from China to France, and then he moved to America, it's confusing -Can play the violin really well, but is terrible at composing his own pieces -Peak friend material -Short and round and soft with a love of a good espresso -Kind and quiet but ultimately ineffective and happy to watch from the sidelines Daniel 'Buddy' Lewek-he/him, aro/ace, autistic, jewish -He is curious and observant, but very very naive -He finds it hard to pick up on social cues, and tends to daydream a lot -Never really had a father figure, and unfortunately kind of half sees Joey as one (baaaad choice), but his mother is great -Loves drawing and tends to chew on pens (and most objects really) -Too young Susie Campbell-she/her, demi -Her parents were Russian and she picked up their accent, but taught herself how to cover it up. She is now excellent at voice acting. -Has a birthmark most theatres turned her away for. But luckily voice acting gave her another chance at performance, and the music department really does not care about it. -Her dad was a butcher, so she now knows a concerning amount about how to cut up and dissect meat. -She gets easily attached to things emotionally, and has a whole pile of random bits and bops she keeps on her person because she can't throw them away. -Naive, but smart enough to know how to read and deceive people if needed. Ms Abigail Lambert-she/her, lesbian -A very gifted artist, who is quite frustrated with the business aspect of animation. -Picked up quite a few things about engineering from Lacie. -Stern, but kind. Motherly, if she likes you and you squint hard enough. -Used to fighting for things. -Giving her food is a pretty good way to get her to like you. Being an artist, she forgets to eat at the correct times a lot, so a meals always appreciated. Norman Polk-he/him, gay, albino -Knows how to fix things, knows how to fight, knows how to hide -General cool uncle vibes -He watches people a lot, and gives off some creepy vibes, but he does genuinely care about people -Knows something is up and is determined to find out what (even if he dies trying) -Fought in WW1, then worked at a cinema for a bit. Emma Lamont-she/her, heteroflexible -Keep dancing even when everything goes wrong -Bit of a 'i'm better than these fools' mentality going on -But she's pretty chill, and willing to act when needed -Basically every woman in the studio knows her on the basis that she chills in the girls bathroom. -Hates Joey, but knows those who stir up a bit too much trouble usually 'resign' Sammy Lawrence-he/him, (vocal-romantic) bi/ace, ADD -His dad sucked, so he ran away. He's also the reason he's largely abandoned his faith, but he still holds hope that there is some kind of god out there. -He and Jack are basically brothers, they've known each other for a long time. -He can compose music in his head, but can play basically every instrument. -Tall and thin and sharp with a love of black coffee. -He's actually pretty chill and nice, but the conditions of the studio (workload, noises, dreams) have left him quick to snap and a stressed out mess. -He's pretty oblivious to his own feelings and spends basically all his time thinking about music, so he usually only realises that he has a crush on someone if he hears them singing (hence the vocal-romantic joke) Johnny Hart-he/him (she/her), gay (trans), heart condition -A nervous wreck who avoids everything and everyone -Trans but doesn't realise it, he thinks this level of discomfort has something to do with his heart condition or something like that. -Speaking of which, if he gets genuinely terrified or panicked he could have a heart attack. -Hence why he's a recluse who remains in the organ room and interacts w/ literally no one. -Except Dot and Buddy (who forgets he exists and who he also has a crush on). Wally Franks-he/him, pan -Friends with literally everyone who isn't one of the older folks (and thomas) -Honorary member of the music department because he can play a harmonica and vibes with everyone there. -Tries to put a positive spin on everything, often beyond the point of reason -A mischevous, mildly selfish prankster with a heart of gold -Gossip pals with Susie and Norman The Violinist-she/her, nobody knows -Has literally never expressed an emotion ever -Seems to know things are going to happen before they happen -Just generally pretty weird -She isn't friends with Dot, they're both just vaguely interested in what the others doing -She looks a lot like Allison, but the two have never spoken and nobody knows if they're sisters Thomas Connor-they/them, gynephilia -He is just. So tired. -An actual mechanical genius who gets his work used for the wrong purposes. -Is very of the 'when you're on a path stick to it' mentality -Cold and hard exterior that vertually no one except Allison has ever managed to get through. -He can and will beat you up. Henry Stein-he/him, gay, vitiligo -Nice and hardworking. -Doesn't have many emotions other than to draw. -He's in fucking narnia he's so deep in the closest. -Feels emotions, but buries them deep down and doesn't express them too clearly. -Has difficulty setting healthy boundaries with people and represses himself far too much. Joey Drew-he/him, homoromantic/pansexual, bipolar disorder, alcohol and cigarette addictions -Chaotic, feral, short little man who lies to everyone -Charismatic as hell, but also a terrible friend and person in general -He doesn't blink enough, does not know the meaning of personal space, and hasn't aged for about 4 years, which are all very bad signs. -Doesn't understand how to run a business but does so anyway. Doesn't understand how to interact with people but does so anyway. Doesn't understand how to create life but does so anyway- -He isn't pure evil, he just gets into very bad mindsets and makes poor decisions that lead him down the wrongest way to go. -Does some self evaluation and goes 'maybe this wasn't the right way chief :/' just a bit too late Audrey Dempsey-she/her, lesbian, Borderline Personality Disorder -Feral conspiracy theorist -May or may not be related to multiple studio members -Everyone's called her crazy for years and made her feel like a burden, and she is hellbent on proving everyone wrong -Quite socially awkward, and rather sarcastic with a dark sense of humour -Works for Archgate Allison Pendle-she/her & they/them, androphilic/ace -Is forever lost in a vintage clothing store -Most people say she seems nice, but everyone just kind of subconciously registers that there is something up with her -Knows a lot about the supernatural -The person closest to Joey, which doesn't necessarily mean they're friends -Nobody has ever seen the right side of her face Dot Acciaci-she/her, pan -Her parents are Italian, and she speaks a little herself, usually using it to encrypt her private notes -Mischevious & curious, but ultimately kind -She will find out your secrets, and is very good at reading people -Great storyteller -Struggles with loneliness a lot Dr Eleanor Hackenbush-she/her, aro/ace -Science knows no bounds -Doesn't care what your motivation is, as long as you give her some cash and some experiments -Filled with nothing but utter spite Ms Reina Rodriguez-they/them, demi -Tired of everything -Although she puts up a calm exterior, Rodriguez is very attached to the studio and views it as her 'new family', having a terrible relationship with her old one -Her family drama connects to the fact they're very catholic, but she nobody knows what this drama is other than Joey Tessa Arch-she/her, straight -An absolute bitch -Trusts her husband far too much -Not very smart, but compensates for this for being good looking and rich Shawn Flynn-he/him (intersex), pan -Jovial, but gets angry quickly -Willing to do 'wrong' things if it helps someone else out, kind of like Robin Hood or something -His mother taught him how to sew and he helped her make clothes when he was younger -Found it hard to get a job because he's Irish, so despite being tired of all the bullshit of JDS, he is reluctant to look elsewhere -Friends with Lacie and Grant because they appreciate his humour Lacie Benton-She/her, lesbian, trans -Tougher than the toughies -wlw & mlm solidarity w/ Bertrum, who she views as one of the only genuinely smart people in JDS and who she has worked for for basically all of her life -Feels like something is up, but doesn't notice much if it doesn't connect to her work -Has automatophobia -Friend with Shawn and Grant because she respects their dedication to their work Grant Cohen-He/him, bi, depression, jewish -Absolute madlad at maths -Acts like he doesn't care what you think, cares far too much about what you think -Everyone wants him to just get therapy already -Doesn't have many friends, but has a weird 'we're both horribly overworked' kinship with Sammy, so they usually just chill and smoke together -Friends with Shawn and Lacie because they're actually mentally stable and he needs some rocks Nathan Arch-He/him, straight -You should hate him -You should hate him a lot -Super rich and doesn't pay his workers enough -Silver tongued -Basically a spider. Creates webs of manipulation and lies, sees a lot, and knows plenty about waiting for his prey to come to him.

[ghostiewriter]

for the queen of the word sprint, i want to see what u do for the prompt list 66 :-]

You love me so much, Mia🤡honestly, feeling the love!

Word Count: 1.2K

Prompt: “K.”

Kiara never considered herself a jealous person. In fairness, there was never a situation for her to be jealous in. She enjoyed her life, she enjoyed what she had, she valued the privileges she was given like a roof over her head and food on her plate. Maybe she felt a little envious when she was younger and someone else in school had the brand new toy she wanted—but that was different since she was young, had no sense of money and didn’t realise her parents had actually gotten her it for her birthday—but she’s never been jealous.

That was until tonight.

Tonight was the start of summer, three months of freedom after the hell that was junior year. They were finally able to relax and chill and do what the hell they want because who was there to tell them otherwise. This was meant to be Kie’s chance to finally just let go off all the stress she had been facing during finals and enjoy some time with her friends.

But she had to ruin it. That she being Tracy Martin. Captain of the kook academy varsity netball team and probably one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. And that was the issue. As much as Kiara wanted to hate her, she couldn’t and so now she was left with the horrible green monster on her back while she watches Tracy’s hands trail all over JJ. Her JJ.

She tried to convince herself she was okay. JJ wasn’t an object, she couldn’t have ownership over him. He was his own person and obviously she trusted him. But the way Tracy’s fingertips trailed over his biceps and the way she laughed way too loud at his jokes just made that uncomfortable tug in her gut grow.

It’s how she found herself sitting on a log not too far from the main party, eyes glaring over where JJ was telling a group some crazy surfing story whilst Tracy is practically glued to his side, like she had been all night. And of course, JJ seemed oblivious to it all.

“You know, you’re meant to drink that not squash it into smithereens.” Pope spoke up, causing Kie to snap her focus over to him. She then followed his gaze and saw that the red solo cup in her hand was now crushed and the cheap beer now making her hand all sticky.

“Whatever.” She muttered, placing it in the sand beside her with a mental note to throw it away properly before she left.

“You’re making it so obvious, it’s actually pathetic to watch.” He snickered, clearly drunk Pope was taking pleasure in her misery. And when she simply rolled her eyes at him, he only continued to tease her until she was absolutely done.

“I’ll be inside if you need me.” She muttered, picking her trash that she needed to throw away before heading towards the Chateau. She heard Pope calling something after her but she ignored it, barely aware of the party around her.

Once she had thrown away the trash and washed her hands, she found herself sitting at the back, fingers playing with one of the bracelets on her wrists as she lightly hummed to herself. She could still hear the party but it had been drowned out by the distance, muffled by other noises and Kie was gladly basking in it. She was so into it that she didn’t even hear him approaching until he slipped into the seat next to her, offering the joint that he held between his fingers.

“I’ll pass.” She muttered, clearly more interested in the frayed bracelet than his company.

JJ frowned a little, not sure if her rejection to the joint or bitter tone surprised him more. “You good?

“Peachy.” She deadpanned.

His confusion only grew as he lightly nudged her with his shoulder. “Well, that’s not very believable.” He mused. “What’s got your panties in a twist?”

“Nothing.” She huffed out. “My panties are fine.”

JJ snickered at her response, there was something amusing about someone saying ‘panties’ in a serious voice. But when she still didn’t laugh, JJ let out a whine before moving to kneel on the steps in front of her so they were facing each other. “Seriously, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“I’m fine, JJ. Just go back to the party.” She said, eyes still focusing anywhere but him. “Go bother Tracy or something.” She added bitterly.

JJ’s eyes narrowed slightly, his brain taking a few moments to process her words before it finally clicked. And once it did, he couldn’t help but let a shit-eating grin take over his face. “Holy shit!” He laughed. “You’re jealous!”

“No, I’m not.” She quickly muttered in defence.

“Yes you are!” He sang.

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Whatever, doesn’t even matter.” She rolled her eyes. But JJ wasn’t giving this up.

“So, you don’t mind if I head back and smoke this joint with Tracy then, since you don’t want it? Right?” JJ questioned, and if she had looked up she would’ve seen that mischievous little smirk on his face.

“Sure.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Right then, off I go.”

“K.”

JJ broke a little, huffing out a laugh. “K?”

“K.” She answered again, a little harsher this time.

But JJ only grinned in response, standing up from his spot and Kie’s heart stopped for a second. This fucker is actually leaving, she thought to herself and the uncomfortable tug returned once again. Except, she was wrong.

JJ reached for her hands, giving her no chance to argue as he tugged her up from her seat, causing her to stumble forwards a bit. He was quick to steady her, hands on her waist whilst hers were clenching the fabric of his tank top. And when she avoided his gaze even then, one of his hands moved to gently tilt her chin back so she had no choice but to look at him. His expression softened a little when he saw how upset she was. She wouldn’t admit it and maybe to everyone else she looked completely fine, but JJ knew better.

“You have no reason to be jealous of Tracy, you know that, right?” He spoke softly, his hand moving to gently cup her cheek, his eyes never once leaving hers.

She sighed, nodding her head ever so slightly but he noticed it. “I know, I know.” She murmured sheepishly. “It’s just she had her hands all over you and I didn’t like it, okay? I trust you and I know you’d never do anything with her but she could be a lot less touchy.” She huffed out.

“You know you’re really hot when you’re all territorial.” He said with a smirk on his lips, one which only grew as Kie lightly slapped his chest. “No, I’m serious. Maybe I should get you jealous more often, possessiveness really makes your eyes pop.”

“Whatever, asshole.” She muttered, attempting to pull away from his grip as though she was annoyed but he could see the smile tugging on her lips.

“Not so fast, baby.” He grinned as he pulled her back, his lips instantly finding hers before she had a chance to argue, and she happily kissed back. Her arms wrapping themselves around his neck as she tugged him closer, feeling him smile into the kiss. Okay, so maybe she was a little territorial.

“Jay?” She whispered against his lips.

“Hm?” He hummed in response.

“I think I’d quite like that joint now.”

[nelllraiser]

adventures in guilt | dave & nell

TIMING: shortly after nell summoned a shark-jellyfish demon. PARTIES: @seizethecarpe and @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: dave returns the jacket nell forgot on the boat, and the two try to navigate a life with guilt. CONTENT: sibling death mentions.

Dave carefully folded down the coat over his arm, smoothing out the material idly. That wasn’t the full reason, the texture of the scales under his fingers was captivating, more interesting than anything else nearby. But this was the college campus, Dave wasn’t sure he would want to touch anything else, the risk of beer stickiness on everything was too damn high. It was drizzling, cool gusts biting the needles off of nearby trees and blowing them around the park bench. As unbothered as he was by the cold, Dave hated icy winds. The sooner the ‘caster showed up, the better. He waved at her when he spotted her, standing up from the bench. This’d be interesting. 

Generally Nell didn’t come to campus this early. Her visits to the university mostly consisted of visits to her friends, and the occasional sleuthing for a bounty, but classes hadn’t even begun yet for the day. Thankfully she hadn’t overslept, because the witch hadn’t slumbered in the first place. With Bea gone to New York, the house was just herself and Luce, and far too much like it had been when their third sister had been struck down, existing only as a ghost. It made for restless nights that came more often than they already had, though Nell had managed to fill a good amount of them with work. As Dave came into sight, Nell felt the familiar sensation of guilt flooding her stomach, a feeling that hadn’t left her since the accidental deaths she’d caused— but one she’d learned how to manage in a way that allowed her to function rather than wallow. Unfortunately the sight of the selkie brought all the regrets of that day back the instant she set eyes on him, though she squared her shoulders in sheer refusal of letting them overwhelm her. Finally getting within speaking distance, she gave the man a nod before speaking. “Hey.” Shit, what else was she supposed to say? There had to be something else, right? “Thanks for keeping my jacket.”

“Wasn’t about to do anything else with it,” Dave said, handing it over, scrutinising her with a trademark scowl, that did little to show what he was really thinking. Somehow, she looked older now than the last time they’d met, and he knew how that kind of guilt could eat at someone’s youth in the worst possible ways. But he also knew that the younger you were, the more important it was to be able to hide that kind of shit, and he had no doubt that plenty of her younger friends didn’t see it at all. “You holding up alright?”

Under any other circumstance Nell might have jokingly asked about whether or not the jacket was his color, or if he’d sneaked one single try on. Nevermind the fact that she was fairly certain he wouldn’t even be able to get his arm into the sleeves of the tiny jacket. Instead, she just accepted the jacket wordlessly before layering it over the sweater she was already wearing. Yet another thing she hadn’t inherited along with her lack of fire abilities was the heightened body temperature that went along with it, and Nell was almost endlessly cold in the winters of Maine. His question caught her wholly off-guard, rather convinced that he still thought her some idiotic, and guitless spellcaster who didn’t know what she was doing, and didn’t care to think beyond that. Surprise flickered ever so briefly over her features before it was quickly replaced with a frown, and suspiciously drawn eyebrows. “I’m not the one who got eaten by a demon shark.” She wasn’t about to admit the truth to a man who’d witnessed one of her greatest mistakes when she barely admitted it to herself.

“No. But I know a thing or two about being eaten by guilt,” Dave replied slowly, like the words were being dragged out of him. That he knew he could offer her the comfort that people who hadn’t been there couldn’t. He still wasn’t convinced she deserved it. He wasn’t convinced power like that, the kind that was at once a tempest and could summon a tempest, ought to be allowed to live. But that sorta shit wasn’t his call to make, not unless she was deliberately slaughtering people. Hell, in a town like this, there was probably some sort of person who specialised in ‘casters. 

Nell watched the man with a guarded gaze, as if trying to see below his exterior to see what secrets or well-hidden intentions were hidden underneath the apparent concern he was now exhibiting. Though even calling it concern might be a bit of a stretch. His words seemed reluctant— almost as unwillingly spoken as her reply was. “And you think that’s what’s happening to me?” Nevermind that it was the truth. Beyond her inability to properly express herself was the question of why he was bothering with her in the first place. WIth the way he’d reacted on the boat paired with his attempts to pin her against the railing- she’d thought he’d want to get in and out of this situation as quickly as possible.

 “Don’t know. It’s why I’m asking. Doesn’t mean you gotta answer.” Dave replied with an off handed shrug tracing his fingers over the grain of the bench. The arm of the bench had been smashed off once or twice before, the wood was a different age to the age of the sea, but even still there was an unnerving stain deep inside the grain of the wood, that couldn’t quite be washed out no matter how hard the college tried. Dave knew a thing or two about that sort of stain, too. “Well,” he said after a moment, “If that’s all,” He eyed her, just the hint of softness buried in all his wrinkles. “I know how busy you young folk are. Wouldn’t want to keep you.”

“But...why do you care to ask?” Nell replied with another question, still not entirely willing to answer his question. There was still a wariness to her gaze, as if she were waiting for him to turn around and start yelling like he had on the boat. Why did he care whether the guilt was eating her alive or not? She couldn’t help shake the feeling that Dave was simply waiting to turn the tables once again, that he’d change his mind and cast her out just as easily as the coven and her parents had. He was right about her being busy, though. Between the demon cult, her bounty hunting, and potential new jobs she’d been kept running. Still...there was something making her want to linger despite her anxious certainty that nothing good would come of it. Perhaps it was the smallest hint of softness beneath his words, and the fact that she found so little of it these days. “What about you? You said you know about being eaten by guilt.”

“I can take the question back if it bothers you so,” Dave replied with a nonplussed lookin on his face, because the answer to her question was complicated as hell. “Sure do. Life as long and messy as mine, I got plenty to feel guilty for. Not summonin’ demon sharks, I’ll give you that, but enough messes with a body count, that’s for sure.” Dave rubbed the bridge of his nose. Grey clouds overhead were beginning to promise rain. He wasn’t about to share the nature and brunt of his messes, whether they were the sinking boat variety, victims of a monster Dave had failed to stop, or drowning someone who… it was probably not right to have drowned. “Just saying, storing that emotional stuff like a Molotov’s just gonna have it blow in your face. I’d know.” 

“It doesn't bother me,” Nell commented defensively, even though the opposite was true. She just didn’t want to admit such a thing. Not to herself and certainly not to the man who’d already see too much of things she wanted to hide or forget. “Does my question bother you?” She posed the rebuttal as a means of trying to get the burden of explanation off herself, shifting it in Dave’s direction instead. The mention of a body count wasn’t something she’d expected from the selkie, and it was plain to see her curiosity had been piqued. Fortunately, she knew better than to ask for details at a time like this, but that didn’t stop her from asking another question. “Well then...what do you do with it?” Her tone was uncomfortable, arms folded defensively over her chest. She wasn’t fond of appearing weak in front of people she barely knew, or asking for help at all, but desperation was starting to get the better of her. Besides- maybe he would just think she was asking for someone else’s sake. 

“No,” Dave replied honestly, eyebrows raised at her defensive demeanor, quietly letting her know that he could see just how reticent she was to talk about it. But he didn’t push again, getting ready to leave her to her coat and her guilt when she pried another question out of herself. Dave’s look was probably more understanding than she’d like, but he still sighed. 

“Agh, hell,” Dave ran his hand through his hair, turning so he was side on to her when he leant against a nearby fence, his brows dipped deep in thought. For all his gentle cajoling, he wasn’t quite ready to open up to a stranger either. “Different things for different guilts. Some folks act like they never did anything wrong, bottle it up and continue on like nothing ever happened. Some folks spend a lifetime chasing a type of redemption that doesn’t exist, so they can do enough good to outbalance the bad, like it’s some cosmic scale they just gotta weigh up right. Hard to say which way leaves you more fucked up. Guess I deal with it with something in the middle. ‘M not a good person, but I can ensure I don’t make the same fuck ups as before. Focus on what keeps me going. If I face judgement after, I’ll have earned it.” He looked at her sidelong, trying to parse her reaction. “That answer your question?” As vague an answer as it was. There was no talking about the nights with angry outbursts, darker shades that he saw the world in, how quickly his mind twisted to the thought of solving issues by killing. He barely knew this girl, after all. 

Nell still didn’t understand why he’d taken the time to answer her questions to begin with, constantly surprised when he continued to linger with her as they spoke. She was silent as she mulled over Dave’s words, trying to fit them into cracks that lived in her as a result of her own guilt. She knew redemption wasn’t an option, one good thing didn’t magically replace one bad. And ignoring her guilt had never been an option for her, not when she was much better at wallowing in it. “So what you’re saying is it doesn’t get any better,” Nell snorted somewhat derisively, but it was meant as a comment at her own expense rather than Dave’s. She was thankful for his words, even if they hadn’t necessarily filled her with hope. Her foot scuffed at the ground, still uncomfortable despite letting the clam shell of her emotional state open in the slightest. “I mean- thanks for answering. I guess it makes sense that you just gotta learn from it and then deal with it.” After all that had been her experience so far, hadn’t it? Something about not being a good person struck a nerve in her, and she couldn’t help but think of how close Adam’s guilt had gotten him to making a lifelong mistake. “I think trying to be better is at least...the mark of a decent person.” That was the closest she managed to get when it came to offering Dave an opinion on his judgement day.

"Wouldn’t say it doesn’t get easier with time,” Dave replied, tilting his head until his neck cracked, easing some of the tension this conversation was giving him. “More manageable, less raw. Easier to put these things in perspective. You’re still young, you’ve got time to figure out how you want to deal.” Even if it didn’t, Dave was always aware that when he talked to young adults about shit, they had so little framework for how much they still had time to change and grow that he didn’t want to say shit to stifle that. The surest way to keep someone the same was to tell them they had no chance of changing. He looked at her sidelong, the tiniest corner of a smile on his face. “I like to think so,” he replied, in a distant, hypothetical way. It wasn’t something he was interested in applying to himself. 

He was right, technically. Nell was still young. But it felt like she’d been aged some fifteen years in that last twelve months alone. Being raised in White Crest meant she was more than familiar with its oddities and quirks, but she hadn’t remembered the little town being quite so emotionally destructive. Or maybe she’d just been too wrapped up in the swaddle of youth to experience it herself before she’d left, only to return after seeing how gruesome the rest of the world could be. For some naive reason she hadn’t expected it to follow her back home, but here she was with the literal scars along her arms and neck to prove otherwise. Her lips pursed as Dave refused to take part in her little charade of ‘asking for a friend’, feeling set off kilter when he addressed her and the guilt she held directly. “I never said I was talking about me,” she replied stubbornly as her face took on a somewhat petulant expression despite it being obvious that she’d been doing just that.

The beginning of his smile also caught Nell off-guard, and parts of why she’d found it so hard to believe that he could turn his anger from the boat around so quickly fell into place. She’d wanted him to be the persecutor, to tell her that she’d fucked up and confirm her as deserving of the guilt that lived in her chest like an iron set of chains. To give her the punishment she felt she deserved like her mother had done. The realization had her looking away from him, not wanting to give away any more emotion than she already had. “So you...what? Don’t have time to figure it out anymore?” For once her words weren’t meant as an old person joke at the expense of who she was asking. “Or have you just been letting it ‘get easier’ and put into perspective? And that’s the thing you’ve figured out?”

“Hmmm,” Came Dave’s noncommittal response, just looking at her sidelong. When she pouted like that, it was damn hard to remember that the girl was an adult who had gotten folk killed, not just a lost kid finding her way through the world. Which was what made her more dangerous.

“No. Just got bigger fish to fry.” It was a pact he’d made with himself a long damn time ago, as unhealthy as anything else on his list. He’d face his penance, whether that came at the end of a hunter’s knife or an Aipaloovik’s embrace. Dave knew damn well there were consequences to the choices he’d made over the past couple years, but that didn’t slow him down. He’d face it all, but only once the fury was dead, and he had his family’s pelts once more. He could carry the other, less important deaths he’d caused by choice or negligence or malice until that day. He was, in fact, doing just what he’d told Nell not to, letting a guilt define every part of him. “When it came down to it, I learned to carry what I needed to so that I could do what I had to. That’s all.”

“Yeah...yeah I get what you mean,” Nell mused as she thought back to the other times guilt had threatened to consume her. She’d gotten Bea killed. Watched her sister die because she’d been reckless and selfish, and hadn’t taken care of her problems properly. But even as that sickening knowledge had clawed away at her gut, she’d learned how to stomach it well enough to focus on bringing Bea back. Done what she needed to do...just like Dave had. Or at least it sounded that way. At this point she wasn’t sure what else there was to say, already feeling as if she’d said perhaps a little too much. “Anyway...thanks for the jacket.” Nell shrugged her shoulders to help it sit better on her shoulders as she stood and waited to see if Dave had anything else to say on the subject of guilt and otherwise.

“Sure,” Dave replied, noting the quick shut down of conversation with a wry smile. He straightened, shaking his head to work out any cricks as he began to turn to leave. “I know when I’ve been dismissed.” He began to walk away, before turning back to give her a stern look. “Don’t summon any more demon sharks, kid. I won’t be so nice next time.” Dave said, tapping the top of his head like he was tipping his cap to her. This time when he turned, he did not look back. Hell, he even whistled a tune he hadn’t been able to hear for 30 years.

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 

“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)

“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”

“You said that six seasons ago.”

Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”

“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.

Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.

(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)

“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”

A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.

Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)

Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.

Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.

“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”

“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.

“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”

“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.

“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”

Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.

“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”

“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.

“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.

Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.

 Childe

12:35

ur a horrible influence on tonia

 Childe

12:35

and whos this ZHONGLI

 Childe

12:35

also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os

 Twin 1

12:37

a normal person would say hi

 Twin 1

12:37

also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school

 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?

 Childe

12:38

thats not very convincing

 Childe

12:38

also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares

 Twin 1

12:39

isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12

 Childe

12:42

thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”

 Twin 1

12:42

well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk

 Childe

12:42

whats asmr

 Childe

12:43

asking for my sister btw

 Twin 1

12:44

A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.

 Childe

12:45

wtf?

 Twin 1

12:45

people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????

 Childe

12:45

idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos

 Twin 1

12:47

… makes sense

 Twin 1

12:47

check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type

 Childe

12:48

i thought we were talking about my sister????

 Twin 1

12:50

[message screenshots.jpg]

 Twin 1

12:50

ya she told me everything

 Twin 1

12:50

have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA

 Childe

12:51

hope he does it

He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)

It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)

When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.

The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.

Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.

Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.

“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”

Holy shit.

For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)

His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.

Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”

This time is different though.

Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.

And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.

The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)

Oh God — oh fuck.

“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)

“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)

“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”

“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”

“Huh?”

The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?

“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.

“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.

“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”

“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”

“Yeah.”

Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.

Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.

[cloveroctobers]

• JENIFER “JEN” MARLOWE •

IG Info/bio: @/justjenw1n | 220k followers | Fashion | just a LUVer who owns a lovely blog that you’re more than welcome to check out here... astoldbyjenmarlowe.co.uk 🪞🛍🪄

22 (24) (25 in 2021) years of age

From London, England

Her family has French origins

Tends to visit once a year mainly with her family

For her 18th bday, her parents also sent her to Paris with her bf that she’s been dating since she was 14

they broke up since he wanted to stay in Paris to pursue his dreams and she felt like she needed to be back home...which she felt Paris was not

Extremely close to her parents, some may say a little TOO close...

See, I feel like jen comes from a family that spoils her where her parents did everything and took care of everything for her. She had the privilege and didn’t have to work too hard to get things she wanted so that made her a little bit different than a few of her friends, hell—even her bf

Didn’t have to work until she reached her twenties

She also didn’t have too many friends because her parents felt like her cousins and/or her sibs were really only allowed to hold that title

However her parents had some sort of a soft spot for her when they allowed her to date her bf at 14 since he came from a nice background...

And to have at least 1-2 best friends...

I can’t decide if I see her having 3 other sibs with her being the second eldest, or her being the eldest with a younger sister? I can also see her being a only child too? Idk y’all can decide

Because her family is a tight knit one, she values everything they say and do...which is canon/evident

She got her thigh tattoo in Paris and even thought about asking her parents permission but her bf talked her out of it

she later showed them that night while he was in the shower. Her mother openly disapproved saying it was, “unladylike or unclean” while her father was more lenient towards it 

Her mother even scheduled her for laser appointments but this was one of the things jen was sure of, she loved her tattoo and she didn’t want to erase it from her body which led to her mother not speaking to her for about a month—even tho they live in the same household

I feel like she looks more like her dad with her mom’s hair and smile

Got into fashion due to her maternal grandmother who seemed to live a extravagant life as a old time actress, she always had and owned the finest of things

Jen loved having sleepovers there, it felt like she had her own personal Liz Taylor inside of her nan...but better!

Definitely found inspiration through Liz Taylor, Kate Moss, Victoria Beckham, and Naomi Campbell

she had no clue what she wanted to do in life (she never had to think too hard about it until now, it’s true what they say about your twenties) and she made the choice not to continue thru with uni & I’m not going to make her out to be the stereotypical “dumb blonde” I think she did well in school—so she kinda just chilled after it was all over

Her first job at 20 was probably working in retail where she learned all about the bs you put up with but she loved clothes! That never changed

So she decided 6 months into her job that she was going to make a fashion blog

she made one separate from her tumblr but kept it under construction since she needed to brain storm what exactly this blog would entail

It didn’t take too long to her to figure it out by how she wanted the blog to look then discussing pieces from celebs/models then slowly discussing her own wardrobe + advice

She didn’t immediately gain success for it —altho she did have a good 1k people follow her thru her tumblr where she also provided the link to her separate blog... but she worked/works hard at it, hoping one day it’ll get her somewhere and that maybe she can get paid for it too?

Retail fucking sucks and people are horrible twats so when she was approaching 21 she deff quit with her parents still hammering...more so her dad on what she needs to do with her life but she found happiness in her blog and no one was going to take that away from her —not even her parents

‘What’s the use of working if it doesn’t make you happy?’ She thinks but again! she has the privilege of living under her parents roof and not having to pay bills so she didn’t have to worry too much rn she knows they’d never kick her out right?

she has two bunnies named “bugsy” and “Lola”—u know the reference right?

I feel like she values the flinstones & jetsons because it was something her dad loved watching as a kid and still does , probably has the dvds showcased in her room that she watches when she feels sad

Seems like a smiley person but when she’s sad? It kinda sucks to see cause she turns into a whole different person and she always seems happy with a smile so wide that turns her eyes squinty

If she disagrees with something, she’s 100% giving her opinion whether you like it or not? Wrong is wrong. But when the shoe is on the other foot? She hates being wrong LOL or doesn’t view herself being wrong. Doesn’t take accountability well...at all!

She’s also showed her ass by being a gossiper and fake as hell with Allegra about mc with the whole, “let’s pretend like we’re there for her” if you’re not fucking with somebody just say that or SHOW it sis cause that snakey shit will come back to bite you in the ass (I forgot about this lol as I’m replaying)

she’s all “mega resting bitch face” until she breaks out into a large smile

Libra sun? + Virgo moon? + Gemini rising?

I feel like she only knows what she wants when it comes to relationships but not with the rest of life?

Lol she was very determined with levi in the beginning, explored shit with jake, (I can’t remember if that was after you/mc showed a interest in him or not in that route? I’m doing a talia/Rohan route rn But that’s kinda foul if she’s smiling in ur face and then boom goes and does what she wants but hey that’s the game right? Fck that tho) and then stood by Tim after only some time?

She wasn’t feeling him in the beginning either cause he thought she was too posh for him and snakey which he’s right to some degree but she’s also right if she finds him too immature for her liking

To you jim? Ten? Stans— Idk what their ship name is but it probably wouldn’t have worked out in the long run either because I don’t see both of them wanting to change themselves completely to satisfy the other. (Tim tried) Sure if you’re showing unhealthy behaviors and are open to diminishing that for yourself then trying to work on your relationship then that’s great! But they already started from the jump not liking each other’s personalities/characteristics....

And hey! Ofc I know people grow to like things they might have disliked about you in the beginning but you can also find yourself not fully accepting it in a relationship and that doesn’t mean you didn’t try

+ it’s been hinted at that they’re not endgame & if you love yourself some Tim not platonically then this works in ur favor. if not? Then you can keep them endgame by all means! For me? That endgame shit is a no! For those that don’t gaf about either of them that’s fine too lmao

YES I feel like they were both hurt over the breakup and it probably happened right around the holidays or either a couple of months after Christmas/New Years 2019

Jen is probably the type to keep checking up on her ex, not necessarily talking to them but finding out who they’re with now

and if it’s Tim with mc she’s definitely gossiping about the shit with erikah and Allegra or making shady tweets or posts on IG for sure

“5 outfits to wear when you run into your ex” type posts on her blog looool

She hopes if she runs into Tim, she’s looking her best and she would 80% go up to him & mc/his new girl if not mc and be all huggy with him and holding conversation before she even thinks to acknowledge mc/new girl and when she does it’s a shady convo with fake smiles

Absolutely loves watching housewives so she was prepared for that moment if it ever does come

Her parents openly didn’t like Tim which made him feel like shit since it seemed like jen never defended him in front of them but again, she values her parents opinion and always wants their stamp of approval that’s just the way the girl is/ was brought up

She owes them everything but deep down knows that in her relationship with Tim she could have been a little more understanding of his needs like he was with her love for her parents...but she’ll never admit that

Doesn’t get over breakups as easily as it may seem like her exes do in her opinion.

It sure didn’t take long with Tim to date mc/new girl months after they broke up! Which was like a slap in the face

The ex bf she spent time w in Paris who looks like Matthew Noszka is now engaged, lives in AMERICA—& of all places??? California to be exact, and just released his debut album!! She knows which songs are probably about her, it’s a nice album she screamed about it for hours into her pillow and cried for what felt like weeks

Lost her voice over that breakdown too

Her mother even went as far as sending a nasty letter to this ex bf’s new address...since ya know? jen’s dad is a private investigator & all!!! but dad had no knowledge of this being done

She’s still fond of Levi and jake but not like in love with them? Like she thought/felt she was with Tim but she still considers them her mates

Maybe in 2021 she’ll be open to dating again and hopes erikah and Allegra will be her wingwomen when the time comes BUT she’s focusing on her blog rn and it’s the best it’s ever been!

She had the show to thank for that now that she has a manager and is getting paid for running her blog now! That’s right this girl is officially employed!

“At least one good thing came from the show ;) 🧽🥐🥂” type of tweets

There’s never not a moment where she’s not connecting her posts whether thru ig or Twitter to her blog: astoldbyjenmarlowe.co.uk!!!

Both erikah and Allegra talk a little shit about that together...WHEN they DO talk, the pair only really socialize when jen initiates it but if one pisses the other off?? they’re going to gossip about it with the other forsure

She doesn’t look that tall to me? Taller than erikah? 5’2-5’5 the 5 is pushing it for me? Maybe? lol I’m still deciding between her and Allegra far as height and I’m too lazy to go back and see what I put for her

Hates straightening her hair, that pin straight look is not cute to her. She loves having waves and body to her hair

Get her eyebrows micro bladed since she doesn’t have much hair up there to begin with

Adores French cuisine, always has since she was a little girl. Bisque used to be her fav back then and all that she would eat

Loves spring season especially pastel colors when it comes to her wardrobe

The type to say one thing and do the complete opposite

I feel like she probably has a little bit of lisp and it’s not really noticeable until she says some words, she’s insecure about it and thought it had something to do with the structure of her teeth and begged her parents to get them fixed but it literally had nothing to do with them

Yet she still got colorful braces in middle school even tho her teeth were pretty straight. She didn’t have to wear them for a whole year, thank goodness

Went to speech therapy to help

Has stacks of fashion magazines even from the early 90s all over her room: her night stand, her vanity, her closet, underneath her bed etc...

Adores the Hadid sisters, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, & Georgia May Jagger

Makes the best white chocolate chip (that’s right, white not just regular chocolate) banana bread but cooking/baking? Isn’t really her thing

Early riser

Loves yellow: yellow phone case, yellow laptop, yellow room, yellow tulips, yellow shades, etc...

Getting Prada shades was probably one of the best things that happened to her, s/o to her nan for granting her this wish

Words of affirmation is her love lanaguage, this girl is a talker and a bit of a thinker too I mean duh? She runs a blog

Likes bright colors on her toes but nude and clear polish on her hands?

Loves a good mascara but she also loves magnetic lashes but is trying her best to grow her lashes out rn! Thanks to erikah for sending her some good ol’ coconut oil!

Smokey eyes? Set her up

Gets a belly ring, and two more tatts one in between her boobs and the last on her ankle & that one she shed a tear over!

Maybe she’ll start changing her physical attributes more so than the way she carries her life at first? (Or ever) She’ll cut her hair below her collarbone to the top of her chest, and maybe she’ll try a light light LIGHT brunette (she loves being a natural blonde) with blonde highlights? Who knows

loves espadrilles and wedge sandals

Loves going wine tasting and visiting vineyards, if she’s vacationing? You can bet ur ass she’s looking for a vineyard to visit

Deff a lightweight

Here’s her unpopular opinions on s2: Thought Felix was a wannabe Tim and hates the fact that he follows her, thought graham was unattractive and said so to Allegra who snickered, thought marisol’s clothing choices were rather boring,

didn’t feel 100% bad for Hannah but disagrees with the way Gary and noah spoke about her + the way Gary tried to slide back over to Hannah on her comeback episode

but doesn’t feel like Lottie is wrong for choosing Gary after Hannah left

isn’t a fan of priya but is glad she’s doing fashion since jen strongly believes in if something isn’t making u happy then u need to let it go

Thinks Hope should have won and cannot tolerate Bobby. Feels he’s WORSE than Felix,

would be open to dating Ibrahim or Carl from that szn

has spoken to Harry from s3 due to his drunkenness and actually made a friend out of him? But low key wants to get to know seb? Take that info as u will 👀

Her anthem: Michelle — SUNRISE

[exclamaquest]

Clestia wondered about the time she had hated her classmates. She had thought of them as annoying, distractions, and people in the way. She almost wanted to laugh at her younger self's foolishness. Her friends were the best thing that had ever happened to her; but she did have some times where she thought they were total idiots. This was that day. -luna (1/?)

“What on earth are you doing?” Celestia looked over at the guilty expressions on Leon and Chihiro’s faces while Junko didn't have enough shame to even look slightly guilty. 

“Baking a cake! Want to help dearie?” Junkos excitedly replied. She would have said no even if they didn't have flour all over themselves.

“Absolutely not.” This time Junko pouted, disappointment clear on her face. “What are you idiots even doing?” 

This time Leon's face showed excitement; “We're making a cake for Taka’s birthday!!! He said he never had one, so we're making him one!” She looked over at the lump that was the ‘cake’ with disgust, but she thought the sentiment was nice, even if it looked like they mashed ingredients together. She sighed and threw out the ‘cake’ ignoring the protests. 

“Well since Taka is my dearest friend, I'm not letting you all give him a cake that looks like horse shit.”

Thankfully, no one tried to protest even with the insult. They knew she was right. She got out the actual tools needed; and set to work, ordering around the others when needed. The end result was a decent cake, with chocolate roses. She had remembered asking Taka what his favorite flower was; and roses were a fitting choice for him. 

The cake had red and black frosting, with black and red roses. (They had made chocolate and white chocolate and put red food coloring for the red roses.) It was a two tier cake because Celestia was a little dramatic; she will admit it. The end result was far better than whatever her idiots had been doing. “Holy shit Celes! This is amazing!” Junko exclaimed looking over the cake. Ah yes flattery, the only way she would be motivated to do things. She smiled. “Now tell me what else we are doing for Kiyotaka’s birthday?” She was instantly answered with shouts of excitement and joy. She loved these idiots.

AWW this is so cute thank u so much!!! her idiots....they r :]