tofu-gaycat - Tumblr blog

[tofu-gaycat]

Finally got my real lesbian pin and trying to get out of unstable life episodes.

To be honest with all of you, the reason I created this blog was to remind myself and my best friend Mari who also reads this blog that it’s fine to feel left out due to comphet since it has started to affect us more severely last months mostly due our “friends’s” TERF opinions and her view on lesbians and m-spec people as a whole. It’s not like I’m questioning at all (I don’t because I at least see how is attraction and emotional bond is for me). I think time has come to share what this “friend” tells me:

1. She believes that all men, regardless of their deeds, thoughts and life situation should be dead. And if I think otherwise it makes me less lesbian somehow? I just don’t like men in sexual and romantic way but in platonic I can be good and even close friends with them.

2. All trans women are predatory men who just want to invade lesbian spaces and do horrific things to them.

3. That if I like trans women = I’m bisexual only since all lesbians “must” like only AFAB people.

4. Only radical feminists are normal people and if I want to meet a girl she “must” be only of these views because others, according to her, are bad people.

5. She believes that I also share these views while I just say that I don’t find men attractive at ALL due to simply being lesbian and having HUGE standards when it even comes to aesthetic attraction to them.

6. All women are holy, great and just beautiful people even if they fuck up in life, it’s all society’s fault since it affects them and it only makes them do what they do. Listen, many people can be bad people as any person of any gender. Double fucking standards.

Do you see how many “all” are in her thoughts - I get that she is radical but radical feminism shouldn’t be upfront hating all men just because of their gender. I’m a feminist myself and I despise people who do bad things, who make women seem unworthy and just overall not like people at all. She, in fact, isn’t a radfem to me, she is just a men hater who hides behind feminism. She just sees a person she doesn’t know and automatically assumes stuff like that of them.

I’m open to discussion if you don’t agree with me.

In the end, fuck you, TERFs.

[tofu-gaycat]

Reminder!

I love being a lesbian

Being attracted to women doesn’t make me any less worthy of a person

Comphet doesn’t define me, my past experiences and current ones do

Even if I don’t fantasise about women now as often as I did it doesn’t make me less lesbian

It’s okay to be unsure and then return back to being lesbian

It’s okay to be question

It’s okay to be friends with guys and feeling as you “must” date them - sign of comphet!

If you are traumatised it’s still a valid lesbian experience

Even if many others do like men you are not obligated

Even if you feel like you stand out because of being not attracted to men you are still valid

Remember, how many fun and important things you had as a lesbian! Being lesbian is always great and you don’t need men to feel more fulfilled

You can be friends with men: wanting to hug someone is a platonic sign not romantic. Society makes everything into straight romance.

(Will add more with time)

Pic: I ordered a lesbian pin to put on backpack since I’ve been wearing a handmade one for almost two years :,3

[tofu-gaycat]

My not so old “bisexual experience”

In previous post about comphet I briefly mentioned how it influenced my “beliefs” and what I “should” feel according to society’s opinion: “that I should love men no matter what because other girls do so”.

I had been feeling sure about my sexuality for a bit less than a year (February of 2023) when the confusion hit me like a truck at actually pretty random moment: my close friend Mari (she will appear in other posts too) had (and still has) a boyfriend and always talked about him and how he leaves positive impact on her life - at the moment I didn’t realise that these words caused me to be confused and search for an attraction to men in my past. All male crushes, which now I know - forced, were taken as granted and a reason to call myself bisexual. In this case I mainly just thought that my past experiences is what I am - classics. Luckily, I got out of this crisis quite fast because Mari helped me to realise what she feels doesn’t have to happen to me! I’d call this crisis the easiest one to deal with.

Second crisis happened in October of 2023 when during PE lesson I again unconsciously thought of how mainly people in here are attracted to men and I felt “left out”. Funny how at that moment I forcefully imagined doing stuff with my character (aha! Not the real person again) and after a a quick conversation with my friend (who is a TERF btw…) came to conclusion that I was bi again - I completely forgot all my old thoughts and I just felt like fitting in. Funny how I felt like I belong with others because of that - I forced some fantasies for myself and did everything to “show my attraction for men off”. This exact crisis has led to me finally discovering lesbian doc. and term compulsory heterosexuality and that my experience with weird attraction to men isn’t a unique thing. It helped me to resolve this crisis for a few months…

Last crisis happened to me exactly on previous week - the reasons were the same - wanting to fit in, to feel safe in heteronormative country and not to be a black sheep of the family, I thought that it will bring me closer with Mari and others, since attraction to men comes natural for them so it should for me? My lesbian friend’s experience is different from mine and that’s why she also convinced me that I was bisexual. But I never was and never will be just because attraction to men ISNT natural to me and all “attraction” I forced for myself was still for unreal ones: to characters I made in my head to match my unreal standards whereas I have almost none for women.

But how did you realise that you don’t like real men and characters you make are not an experience - you will ask? Well, now we move to last section of my post - real life interaction with men in my life. To understand the background I will repeat the part from my last post - when available men wanted to ask me out I’d always push them away simply feeling uncomfortable and not feeling any attraction even if it was a long interaction. “But isn’t that just being not ready for relationship and not liking them in particular?” - Compthet speaks in me. No, I did that with everyone and never felt anything to them, despite his character and attitude (funny enough how I didn’t feel any sexual attraction to real life men). Each of them I interacted with in real life doesn’t match my standards by just being a real life male - however, when I sometimes chat with random men who text me from various Discord servers, I sadly sometimes feel that I must like them but I don’t anyway!

To conclude this long work, I understand how easily some women can be influenced by comphet and question themselves, despite definitely being homosexual - in this case it’s again important to point this influence out and recall all of the experiences with either genders! Take your time and identify however you feel safe and comfortable with.

Pic source: Pinterest

[tofu-gaycat]

Post by my bestie makes me feel better :,3

I relate to many points here so it’s essential to post

This is the time to talk how exactly compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) affected me and in what ways trough my life, this is more of an intro post and a personal story.

When I was young I was always told that “guys should look after me and will pay attention to me eventually, that will make me happier and just be essential with time”. Even back then I didn’t understand what so cool about dating a guy? What makes him so special and why each girl should do this somehow? That it brings kids? Isn’t our planet already overpopulated? Some people can be child free? Even when I was small I didn’t really care for this “aspect of happiness” and therefore wasn’t affected compulsory heterosexuality due to my young age and attitude - I didn’t see my future where I settle down with a man.

Everything has changed when I thought I caught a first crush for a guy since everyone around me already did and it so cool. It wasn’t cool and it wasn’t a crush in the first place, it was a first example of attraction I needed to unconsciously fit in. After this I’ve developed another one-funny how both of guys were unavailable and of course ones I made in my head. Back then I couldn’t even bring myself to a thought that it was comphet. After I’ve finally came with terms that I was lesbian all along (May of 2022) and was repressing my attraction to women, I explained it as an attraction to men didn’t feel so real as it is to women, plus I’ve never had an attraction to men who were available and ones who were available were pushed away by me (literally lol). Even when I did so I couldn’t give it a name and just thought it was my unique experience and people don’t usually deal with it…I was wrong.

In one of my previous posts I shared a lesbian doc: it says that having attraction to unavailable men (fictional and ones unavailable irl) not seeing your future with a man and just feeling as this attraction is forced - is a huge sign of comphet (you can read it for yourself).

However, the story doesn’t end here since trough those almost 2 years I couldn’t live without having a damn crisis. I went back and forth from lesbian to bisexual - all due to same reason and wanting “to fit in” aka being forced into standards by compthet- the past issue like this is no easy to fight with even after years of being sure. I’ve never in my life felt legitimately sexually and romantically attracted to men. I can recall liking several girls and women and it felt real and not forced. Funny enough how despite getting romantic attraction almost never - I felt it for woman anyway. So all my “crises” ended in their own when I recall that comphet is still there and can affect anyone so it’s important to outline an issue so your true self won’t have to hide away.

In the end, I believe that it takes a while to spot and realise your comphet, how to fight with it and seek similar experiences. Don’t worry - being a lesbian is beautiful and no one should tell you otherwise <3

P.s I will make more posts about my exact experience with it so stay tuned!

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Love for y’all, stay safe👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽

Meme by @louvainisntacity

[tofu-gaycat]

This is the time to talk how exactly compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) affected me and in what ways trough my life, this is more of an intro post and a personal story.

When I was young I was always told that “guys should look after me and will pay attention to me eventually, that will make me happier and just be essential with time”. Even back then I didn’t understand what so cool about dating a guy? What makes him so special and why each girl should do this somehow? That it brings kids? Isn’t our planet already overpopulated? Some people can be child free? Even when I was small I didn’t really care for this “aspect of happiness” and therefore wasn’t affected compulsory heterosexuality due to my young age and attitude - I didn’t see my future where I settle down with a man.

Everything has changed when I thought I caught a first crush for a guy since everyone around me already did and it so cool. It wasn’t cool and it wasn’t a crush in the first place, it was a first example of attraction I needed to unconsciously fit in. After this I’ve developed another one-funny how both of guys were unavailable and of course ones I made in my head. Back then I couldn’t even bring myself to a thought that it was comphet. After I’ve finally came with terms that I was lesbian all along (May of 2022) and was repressing my attraction to women, I explained it as an attraction to men didn’t feel so real as it is to women, plus I’ve never had an attraction to men who were available and ones who were available were pushed away by me (literally lol). Even when I did so I couldn’t give it a name and just thought it was my unique experience and people don’t usually deal with it…I was wrong.

In one of my previous posts I shared a lesbian doc: it says that having attraction to unavailable men (fictional and ones unavailable irl) not seeing your future with a man and just feeling as this attraction is forced - is a huge sign of comphet (you can read it for yourself).

However, the story doesn’t end here since trough those almost 2 years I couldn’t live without having a damn crisis. I went back and forth from lesbian to bisexual - all due to same reason and wanting “to fit in” aka being forced into standards by compthet- the past issue like this is no easy to fight with even after years of being sure. I’ve never in my life felt legitimately sexually and romantically attracted to men. I can recall liking several girls and women and it felt real and not forced. Funny enough how despite getting romantic attraction almost never - I felt it for woman anyway. So all my “crises” ended in their own when I recall that comphet is still there and can affect anyone so it’s important to outline an issue so your true self won’t have to hide away.

In the end, I believe that it takes a while to spot and realise your comphet, how to fight with it and seek similar experiences. Don’t worry - being a lesbian is beautiful and no one should tell you otherwise <3

P.s I will make more posts about my exact experience with it so stay tuned!

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Love for y’all, stay safe👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽

Meme by @louvainisntacity

[tofu-gaycat]

Before my main post I would like to share more Sparkly flag wallpapers I made a while ago!

You guys can ask for a flag to edit in comments!

Lesbian and Lithromatic/Lithsexual flags :3

[tofu-gaycat]

Hey hey hey guys, in case anyone’s questioning I got a classical doc to help you out. Its not made by me but it helped me a lot during crisis!

Hope that helps <3

[tofu-gaycat]

Hello everyone! Catra’s here, I use any pronouns and im a proud lesbian who fights with compulsory heterosexuality.

This is a smoll introduction to my blog which I’ve started years ago (seriously its been almost two years!)

I’m 18 years old, I study in art college for art historian and do art of my own plus some writing here and there. My personality type is ENTP. I love listening to rock, electronic (especially Hurts) and metal (Rammstein).

My full labels are: Aroallo, (Demiaroace), lesbian, pomoromantic, librafluid and transfem!

Here I will talk about my experiences with sexuality as well as curious life situations plus some mental health advices and stories!

P.S if I know you close, you can call me Tofu :3

P.S 2 Follow me on Pinterest, I post some of my art there plus random LGBT boards! I will always mention if I take something from there for my posts.

~

DNI:

1. Homophobic and transphobic + ableist

2. If you don’t believe in compulsory heterosexuality

3. A man who enjoys lesbian NSFW content (srs wtf it’s disgusting)

4. If you in any way fetishise lesbians

5. Believe that aroallos are predators (NO we ain’t)

6. Hate furries for some reason (yk, each group has bad apples, don’t judge everyone because of them)

7. Support MAPs and ZOOs

8. If you hate catra. I don’t wanna fight with anyone because of that.

9. TERFs (I had enough of you really)

10. Overall aggressive people

~

[tofu-gaycat]

Hello um me two years ago time to recap all the stuff happened to our labels (yes its crazy I know but it all was caused by gender confusion and grand gender dysphoria plus Ofc compulsive heterosexuality!!)

Straight -> Bisexual -> Pansexual -> Asexual Panromantic -> Demiromantic Panromantic (still ace) -> Aroace (aromatic asexual) -> MLM oriented aroace -> Aegosexual MLM Aroace -> MLM aroallo -> Demiaroace (still aroallo and stayed as one) MLM -> Lesbian Demiaroace -> Lesbian Demiaroace Pomoromantic -> had a crisis so went back to Bi several times :/ ->

Now proud Demiaroace Pomoromantic lesbiab :3

(Funny how in MLM era I experienced only unreal attraction towards men I made in my head and intentionally held myself from loving women <I will tell this story later in other post>)

As for the gender, oh god…

Cisgender -> Non-binary -> Transmasc (caused too much confusion, was made out of unreal expectations by straight girl and due to high dysphoria, mental breakdowns) -> Libramasc -> Agender -> Genderfluid + Agender = Librafluid -> Librafluid transfem (mainly feeling fem while still half fluid and half Agender)

However to lessen the confusion I just say that im fem and lesbian XD

hey if ur lgbtq rb this with all ur past labels nd the one u use now

i’ll go first straight, bi, pan, demi, then lesbian

[tofu-gaycat]

ARO WALLPAPERS! (Just a few, will make sure to do more)

[tofu-gaycat]

RANDOM LGBT WALLPAPERS PT.1

🌸1-transmasculine

🌸2-transfeminine

🌸3-transneutral

[tofu-gaycat]

Why not renaming my blog and dedicating it to anything I think👀

I will write more from now own and if you have any theme ideas, ask me questions!

[tofu-gaycat]

Strange experience with my friend @aro-power-to-rule-the-worlds

[tofu-gaycat]

Just a reminder that you don't have to like/love someone back. If someone confesses to you, you have no obligation to reciprocate those feelings. If your partner/friend/family member says they love you, you don't have to say it back. Your attractions and lack thereof are valid.

[tofu-gaycat]

I have its figure and I really like it 😭✋ (overall aesthetic and just a colour palette)

alloaro culture is snivy being one of your fav pokemon because of its color palette

[tofu-gaycat]

"Green as the grass we are walking, green as the trees we are growing, white as the sky above us, and grey and black as our ground"

Did you write that op?? Because I love it

I have just noticed that 😭

Yep I did, in fact I’m a writer so sometimes I like to make my posts poetic

[tofu-gaycat]

Yeah in mine too, so I have to make myself some pins and hide them :,D