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FLEETING

On the days when I feel unlovable, and unwanted.

On the days where my brain feels to messy and the storm feels like it won’t pass.

I sit and remind myself, that I am safe.

Allowing myself to sit with how I feel.

I gently remind myself that how I feel in this moment,

Will pass.

As surely as I know winter turns into spring.

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ALWAYS.

May you find a love who heals you,

Not hurts you.

May you find a love you cherishes you,

Not uses you.

May you find a love that unlocks all the beautiful moments and memories.

Because you deseve it,

Even when you might not think you do.

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UNLOVABLE

You taught me I was fragile,

You told me to always carry something to use as a weapon,

You told me to never walk alone at night,

So that’s exactly what I did,

But I flew to close to the sun,

And look what happened to me.

I wanted to prove I was worth more then looks,

That I was someone worth being proud of.

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CHAOS

Chaos is beautiful to me.

Or maybe it’s just that I’m used to it.

It’s the feeling that ’m the eye of a hurricane.

As the chaos roars around me and I alway feel safe.

Because as long as I’m helping everyone else with their problems, no one can see mine.

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WILD CHILD

I watch the rain drip down the leaves, my hands wrapped around my favourite mug.

And I wonder where you are today?

Are you laughing ?

Are you happy ?

Do you miss me,

7 years of you being my best friend, and these last few years without you have been the hardest,

And I wonder if we’ll ever talk again, do you think she still knows I love her?

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LOST

“ how could I ever love someone like you “ he said. Running his hand down my cheek. “you became everything I said I wanted, and lost everything that made you you in the process”

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I stopped looking for you in every crowed room. I stopped searching for you in every person.

And today I walked past you, you had your hands wrapped around another girl.

And the way you looked at her, like she was the most precious thing.

It made me wonder, if you ever looked at me like that.

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My legs dangle over the edge of the brick ledge.

My stomach tying itself into knots, as I look down and wonder what it would feel like to fly.

The cold feel of the metal railing brings me back to reality, I’m just girl sitting alone.

Wondering if she’ll ever been brave enough to see if she can fly.

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And on some days, sometimes just being here is enough.

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It’s 3:00am, and I can’t sleep.

I’m replaying all the things you have said to me.

And I wonder, am I ready to risk my heart again.

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“Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions aren’t your problems. You stay kind, committed to love and free in your authenticity. No matter what they do or say, don’t you doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth. Just keep shining like you always do.”

— Scott Stabile

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Laying alone with my fairy lights dimmed, the window lightly opened, and rain falling around me.

I used to fear being alone, in these moments.

It’s been so long since I felt this safe, and right now, I couldn’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.

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Surgery

1 day after surgery and you swooped in with beautiful words and caring gestures.

2 days after surgery and you filled my head with charming thoughts and empty promises.

3 days after surgery and you told me all the things you couldn’t wait to show me.

4 days after surgery and you told me you couldn’t wait to meet me.

5 days after surgery and you promised you’d be gentle, movies and dinner was all.

I believed you.

6 days after surgery and I’m alone at home bleeding, but you promised to be gentle and I had beloved you.

7 days after surgery and no word from you, despite promising me you wouldn’t use me,

And silly girl, why had I believed you.

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You're a little fucked up but it's really hot

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guilt tripping - frank iero

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