apheda1914

[apheda1914]

"Maybe I'm just a wildflower in a world that preaches roses..."

[apheda1914]

"I am not fragile like a flower. I am fragile like a bomb..."

[apheda1914]

Not...enough

Not healthy enough +

Not fit enough +

Not skinny enough +

Not curvy enough +

Not fat enough +

Not smart enough +

Not intelligent enough +

Not clever enough +

Not wise enough +

Not responsable enough +

Not organized enough +

Not patient enough +

Not hardworking enough +

Not punctual enough +

Not creative enough +

Not careful enough +

Not perseverent enough +

Not brave enough +

Not autodisciplined enough +

Not independent enough +

Not caring enough +

Not spiritual enough +

Not empathetic enough +

Not energetic enough +

Not respectful enough +

...

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= HUMAN ENOUGH

[apheda1914]

Reba McEntire - The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia (Official Music...

I would listen to this song and have thoughts like: "Ok, this is great, but when will they make the movie? I really need a movie based on this story!"

This is not a joke! I am serious!

[apheda1914]

"I truly believe my fate is to wear my traumas like smoke - clinging and choking, yet invisible to anyone who doesn’t breathe it in...”

[apheda1914]

Phobias

I hear people talking about their phobias quite often. Some are afraid of snakes, mice, heights etc., mainly things that exist. Other people are afraid of things that don't exist, or at least things that lack the evidence of existence, like ghosts, demons and even aliens. Some people are afraid of being alone, while others are terrified of being surrounded by people. The majority are afraid of the unknown, while not that many are frightened of knowing too much. I'm a human being too, therefore I have my own fears. Yet, labeling my fears as phobias may not be appropriate due to many factors, mainly the intensity of my emotions and reactions. However, I once had one phobia that was eating away at me for years. I was 8 years old. I didin't know much about the world I was living in and about how things happen, so I had many fears. One of them was so intense that I could actually say that it was a phobia. I was thinking about the very same things every single day, and when that happened, my heart would start to beat really fast and I couldn't breathe anymore. One day, I scored poorly on a history test and the teacher scolded me for not studying enough. I was so upset that I went straight home after school. At home, I ate some soup that my mother cooked for me, and after eating I turned the TV on. I pressed the buttons on the remote trying to find the cartoons TV channel, but I accidentally came across the news TV channel. There I saw some people speaking about someone who passed away, an actor from what I could understand. They were showing photos and videos from his funeral while that man's youth best frind was talking. I remember him saying: "We, the ones who were close to him, have good reasons to be sad. We listened to him, and he listened to us. We helped him, and he helped us. We loved him, and he loved us. However, nobody lives forever. Nobody is immortal. Everybody dies. That can happen earlyer or later in life, in gentle or harsh circumstances. It happens even if you want it to happen or not. It's inevitable." I heard this, and everything changed. I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and said to myself: "Everybody dies. Nobody is immortal. Death is inevitable." I pointed at myself and continued: "You will die too one day. You will die too." That was the moment I realised that my only phobia was burried by that man's wise words.

[apheda1914]

The sacrificed infant

Early in life I was already old,

Freshly harvested, yet covered in mold,

Mama's womb was warm, but I was cold,

Just begotten, already sold.

Such silent screams in that noisy night,

Clergyman ahead, mother and father on my left and right,

Caress was so heavy, yet so light,

Still a close-eyed newborn, already a bride.

Rooted deep, yet ready to fly,

Bound in chains, yet touching the sky,

So new in this world, couldn't even cry,

But learnt how to do it when I heard mama say goodbye.

[apheda1914]

Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit (Official Music Video)

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” feels like an explosion of everything you can’t say out loud — rage, boredom, rebellion, numbness. When I hear it, it’s like being thrown into a teenage mind where nothing makes sense, but everything matters. The distorted guitars and Cobain’s voice don’t just sound messy — they are the mess, and that’s what makes it honest. It’s not polished or perfect, and that’s exactly why it hits so hard.

This song is such a piece of art!

[apheda1914]

Downtown

This song really feels like a warm escape. It’s hopeful, comforting, and full of that classic 60s charm. The song captures the magic of getting lost in the city when you're feeling down - like the lights, sounds, and energy can lift you up, even just for a while. It’s simple, yet deeply uplifting. A few years ago, when I used to have multiple panick/anxiety attacks a day, I would listen to this song while smoking and it felt like all my problems, fears and dark thoughts were fading away.

[apheda1914]

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO...

"You've never bought me food… You have no right to say I'm too fat or too skinny.

You don’t pay for my clothes...You have no right to tell me I'm overdressed or underdressed.

You didn’t buy my shoes...You have no right to say that they're too worn or cheap.

You didn’t do my makeup...You have no right to say if it's too much or not enough.

You don’t live in my skin, see through my eyes, hear with my ears...You have no right to make comments on the way that I present myself.

This is my body. My style. My energy. My choice...You can look, but you have no right to judge, label or comment."

[apheda1914]

"They laugh at me because I’m different. I laugh at them because they’re all the same."

— Kurt Cobain

[apheda1914]

Nietzsche suggests that suffering is an unavoidable part of life, but what gives life value is our ability to find meaning in that suffering. It’s not about avoiding pain, but about transforming it into purpose.

[apheda1914]

Kafka suggests that freedom comes with risk, uncertainty, and responsibility, while “chains” — like rules, routine, or conformity — offer comfort and safety. It’s a bitter reflection on how people sometimes choose the safety of limitations over the danger of true freedom.

[apheda1914]

- Albert Einstein

[apheda1914]

"I'm not lost... I just don't want to be found..."

[apheda1914]

"Maybe l'm just a lowercase god..."

[apheda1914]

"I do romanticize the silence between what we say and what we mean..."