ash-says

[ash-says]

Ash-Says Commandments for Keeping Your Sanity (and Your Stuff)

Because you’re not running a community sharing center, babe.

You’ve read the rant. You’ve felt the rant. Now here’s how to actually live it without turning into the local villain (unless you're cool with that, too):

1. The Two-Warning Rule

If you’ve had to say no twice, that’s your cue.

Don’t say it a third time. Just shut it down.

Anyone who keeps asking after that is betting on your guilt, not your grace.

“You don’t respect me. Period.”

Script:

“I’ve already said no. Please don’t ask me again.”

2. Pre-Emptive Boundaries = Less Drama Later

Some people need rules in writing or they’ll pretend you “never said anything.”

Set the tone upfront:

“Hey, I don’t lend out personal items anymore. I’ve had too many bad experiences.”

Saves your sanity. And no one can say they “didn’t know.”

3. Keep the Emotion Out, Keep the Control

Don’t let their sad eyes or sob story make you spiral.

You’re not heartless—you’re just not a doormat.

They’ll act hurt to distract you from their irresponsibility. Stay cool. Stay factual.

Ash-says level clapback:

“Don’t give me excuses. Just give me the stuff.”

Let that echo in your spine.

4. No Return? No Repeat.

If someone doesn’t return something once, that’s it.

No “next time.” No “maybe they forgot.”

We’re done.

Soft version:

“Since last time didn’t work out, I’m not lending things anymore. Hope you understand.”

Savage version:

“I don’t lend to people who treat my things like afterthoughts.”

5. You Are Not Their Mom

You don’t owe them forgiveness.

You don’t owe them reminders.

You don’t owe them your damn mascara, sweater, charger, or patience.

Affirmation from the Church of Ash-Says:

“I am not your mother. I do not forgive and forget. I remember and adjust.”

6. Practice Saying No Without the Guilt Monologue

You don’t need a 4-paragraph essay. You don’t need a reason that sounds valid enough.

“No” is complete.

But if you must add spice, try:

“It’s just easier for me not to lend. I’ve learned the hard way.”

7. Keep a Little Black List (Mentally or Literally)

If you need to keep a Notes app list of chronic item thieves, do it.

They remembered to ask, but forgot to return? Oh okay.

You’re not petty. You’re precise.

Bottom Line:

Your things are yours. Your peace is priceless.

You are allowed to protect both.

Repeat after me:

“I’m not rude. I’m just done being used.”

[ash-says]

Mini steps towards being independent:

I know. I know the frustration of not being in charge of your life. Especially when you are financially dependent and for some under 20s. Everyone treats you like a child but expects you to be an adult.

Then we have the group who go on insisting they are adults and capable of taking life decisions but for the love of God can't change their bedsheet responsibly.

Thus, I have come up with some mini tricks that will make you feel just a tiny bit independent:

Anytime anywhere list

1) Learn how to cook.

2) Take responsibility for household chores such as washing clothes, utensils,etc.

3) Do groceries shopping.

4) Keep track of the essentials required at home and make sure to stock them up.

5) Change the bedsheets weekly.

6) Clean your cupboards timely.

7) Plan a trip with your friends and take care of the execution part.

8) Decide what to make for lunch, dinner or breakfast and execute it solely (right from buying the food required to cooking it).

9) Check on your younger siblings studies. Take an update of their life or keep your room organized and clean.

10) Grow plants.

Planned execution list

Live alone. Try to get out of your parental home and start a new life in another city.

Get an internship/job.

Manage your finances on a budget and save money at the same time.

Take major life decisions such as your career field, whom to be friends with, etc solely on your own judgement.

Learn to navigate difficult social situations with ease.

Adopt a pet.

Develop your own ethical system.

Curate your discipline.

Identify your non-negotiable in different aspects of life.

Learn to speak up for yourself.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

[ash-says]

This one is for my girlies who grew up in dysfunctional families.

Girls who don't know healthy love, care and affection. Girls who grew up watching fights, in violent and stressful environments, being picked on by their peers, their own family members.

Know that it's not your job to maintain peace, people please and accommodate yourself to other people's expectations.

Take this as a BLUNT reminder for yourself:

1) Have strong boundaries. Surprise. I know you read this a thousand times but before you eyeroll read this again.

2) Stand up for yourself. It might be scary but sometimes fighting back against your family can be helpful. Do it strategically. Don't rush in blindly. The main goal is survival afterall.

3) No doing drugs, self harm, compulsive relationships, casual sex, alcohol and many destructive, addictive and escapist behavior won't help you in rebelling against your family. What are you three years old???

4) Establish your relationship with God or whatever the hell you believe in. Have a strong belief system. That's the only way you can save yourself and keep yourself on track. Even if you deter on the wrong path it will swing you back. Trust me.

5) Form strong female friendships. PLEASE. Female friendships are literally holiness in disguise. My girls are my biggest assets. The amount of emotional intelligence and support a female can provide. Chefs kiss.

What ? You can't vibe with girls?? You are more of a girl who vibe with boys?? Girls are secretly jealous of you??

Okayyyyy... I am no one to criticize but I think we need to reassess somethings.

At least one female friend. Won't cost you a fortune. Will it???

(If you think you got no one around you. My inbox + Gossip Box is always open.)

6) Academic Validation>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Male validation. Always.

7) Exercise and work out. Woahh did not see it coming right. Well it's important because it helps you in calming down your mind and expressing those repressed energies. Any anger issues babe in the house?? Guess what it's the best outlet for all your angst.

8) This is for those girls who are into toxic households please find a way to get out of there. I won't suggest permanently cause I believe in mending things and parents are a crucial part of your life. But find a way to live your college life or at least two to three years of your life out of your hometown. A lot of things you will understand by yourself then. If you know. You know.

9) Sharpen your people and survival skills. I hate to say this but we are highly susceptible to attracting people who want to take advantage of us. So listen to your gut the next time it warns you against someone.

10) Tone down your intensity. Not everyone is trying to get you or attack you. Coping mechanisms are great they kept/keep you alive but make sure they won't create trouble for you. Keep them in check. Got it??

[ash-says]

Just in case someone needs a manual for getting their act right.

Hey Girl, Tired of Being Told to "Be Nice"? ‍

Forget the sugar and spice, it's time for some fire and ice! This ain't your mama's self-help blog. Here, we ditch the damsels in distress routine and learn to be the queens of our own damn castles.

Remember the following mantra's while interacting with this blog:

"Kill or get Killed."

"Be Pretty. Be Petty."

We're all about unleashing your inner boss babe and conquering your goals with a side of sass. Here's a taste of what you'll find on this hot mess of a blog:

1. You are your own saviour.

Survival 101

Tips for Dysfunctional Family Girlies Part 1

Tips for Dysfunctional Family Girlies Part 2

Saviour Complex Fever

Tried and tested Manipulation Techniques

From Whom Did I Betray Myself?

Social Media Experiment Lessons

2. Quit Being Basic, Get Iconic

Mini steps towards being independent

Devil may care- A guide on being unbothered

Tips on how to be Goody Two Shoes and Pure in the society's eyes

Be Bold. Be Shallow

Being Audacious

The vicious cycle of Needs, Wants and Demands

The Art of People-Pleasing and how to Fail at it

Corporate Tips

Things to be aware as a hopeless romantic

22 highlights for the next year for me and you

Normal Know Hows

3. Mic Drop Talk

Tips to improve People Skills/ Being more Charismatic

Practicing Tact and Open mindedness

Listening techniques

Handling curiosity so the cat doesn't gets killed

Hush Hush Honey

Tips on how to dodge personal questions in a Professional Setting

Tips on Confrontation

4. Mind Over Matter

Cheating Anxiety With Me

Exercise and staying fit

How to tackle Fragmented Sleep/ Sleep disruptions

5. Siren School

Being in touch with your sensuality

How to feel sexy instead of cute

6. Opinion Time

Opinion Time 1

Opinion Time 2

Opinion Time 3

7. Random Motivation

Motivation 1

Motivation 2

Motivation 3

Motivation 4

Motivation 5

Motivation 6

Is that Britney Spears ,"Gimme more" playing in the background??

I know you'll be coming back for more like a moth to a flame.

[ash-says]

MIC DROP TALK – Tips on Confrontation

1) Do NOT start emotionally charged. Especially if you’re dealing with someone who lacks basic logic or emotional intelligence. If you walk in fired up, you’ve already lost. Keep your emotions on a leash—this is about control, not chaos.

2) For the love of God, do NOT yell or create a scene. The moment you start raising your voice, they win. Now you’re the "crazy one," and everything you say—no matter how valid—gets thrown out. Keep your tone deadly calm. It’s unsettling, and that’s exactly what you want.

3) Fight with logic, not petty insults. If they try to bait you, do not bite. Let them throw their weak little jabs while you dismantle them with cold, hard facts. Don’t give them the chance to hit you with “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re overreacting.” That’s a trap. Don’t fall for it.

4) Expose the truth they’re dodging. People love to sugarcoat, deflect, and conveniently "forget" things. Don’t play their game—end it. Call out exactly what they’re avoiding and watch them squirm. Nothing shakes a person more than hearing the exact thing they’re trying to run from.

5) Walk in like an equal—or better, one step higher. You are NOT a burden for addressing something real. You are NOT difficult for refusing to let things slide. If anything, they are the coward for pretending it’s not there. Act like you run the room, because in that moment, you do.

6) Do NOT let manipulation slide. Call. That. Shit. Out. Gaslighting, guilt-tripping, twisting words—I don’t care. Call it out. Let them know, loud and clear, “I see what you’re doing.” The second they realize their tactics won’t work on you, their power crumbles.

7) Play smart with power dynamics. If they’re in a higher position or someone you don’t know well, start with a neutral, polite tone. Not weak—just unreadable. Let them reveal how they want to play this. Then decide whether to turn up the heat or walk away with your dignity intact.

8) Check your facts. I’d rather be clueless than confidently wrong. If you walk into a confrontation unprepared, you’re walking in with a gun full of blanks. And that’s embarrassing.

9) If you’re confronting someone for hurting you, be strategic. Start by asking, “What did you mean by that?” or “Why did this happen?” Let them dig their own hole. Once they’ve said enough, THEN you hit them with how it actually affected you—but in a way that they can’t twist against you.

10) If they refuse to take accountability, disengage with power. No matter how civil you are, some people just won’t own up. That’s when you drop this line: “I see it’s useless talking to you. It’s all my fault.” Then stop. No more words. No more effort. Just go cold. No favors. No warmth. No access to you. That silence? It’ll haunt them more than any argument ever could.

Bonus Power Moves:

11) Weaponize silence. When they start fumbling, just stare. Let the silence stretch. Make them uncomfortable. People panic when they’re forced to sit with their own bullshit.

12) Trap them in their own words. If they lie or contradict themselves, repeat exactly what they just said and ask, “So just to be clear, you’re saying [X]?” Watch them stumble when they realize they’ve boxed themselves in.

13) Be unpredictable. If they expect you to explode, stay eerily calm. If they expect you to let it slide, press harder. Keep them off balance. People don’t know how to handle what they can’t predict.

Final Rule: Confrontation Is a Game of Power. Play to Win.

The second you stop reacting emotionally and start controlling the pace, you win.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

[ash-says]

Hello ladies so today I am going to share a psychological observation of mine around how people perceive opinions in real life vs social media.

So storytime, I ran a trial video on Instagram today for hardly 12 hours where I was mocking men for their push and pull behaviour. I wanted to see how people react to it. The video even if it seemed as a random rant on the surface was packed with various psychological trigger points.

The observations I ended up with were:

1) Men hate being challenged publicly even indirectly. It doesn't matter if they are not the person in question, they still feel the hit personally.

2) No matter how much your female friends are close to you but if you challenge the status quo and might attract trouble they won't interact.

So lessons to be derived here:

1) Keep your opinions to yourself. Do not be foolish to run your mouth on social media because it can be used against you as a proof.

2) Patriarchy runs deep so being actively against it will cause more harm than good.

3) People are animals who crave comfort zones more than ideals. Very few people will give up the safety for their ideals when pushed to it that's why they are termed as great.

4) Right now most of you are feeling comfortable to like my posts and opinions because it doesn't expose who you are in real life and the people in real life don't know you follow me. The same rule applies to me and ladies if you are smart keep it that way.

5) No matter what men do we are not allowed to speak about it publicly. Does it mean we stay silent? I will say never but that doesn't mean we go on running our mouths anywhere. Strategise and Improvise.

That's all for today. Currently you might feel I am going off topic also but yeah I am more of a on the go creator so this is what's on my mind and don't worry my instagram is private and has hardly 20 followers mostly women and surprisingly the video had 50 views but 8 likes it shows how deeply uncomfortable we feel to confront problems or speak about it especially around men.

[ash-says]

For Whom Did I Betray Myself?

The Ancient Curse of Blood:

For eons, since the very existence of humankind, women have been asked—no, expected—to adjust themselves to soothe the men around them. Expected to understand, to go with the flow, to never question. Dismissed when they dare ask for their fair share. Told I love you, only to be shamed the moment they ask for anything more than what men are willing to offer.

The love of men comes in shackles and bondages.

The rage that pulses through every woman is not just from the injustice she has faced in her own life, but from the fury of every woman who was scorned before her. Her grandmother, her mother, her great-grandmother—every single woman who was told to keep quiet, to sit still. Who was shamed for asking for too much. Who was silenced, shut down, slaughtered, burned at the stake, cut through the throat the moment she asked for what was rightfully hers.

When she refused to bow. When she called out the double standards. When she dared to demand more.

For centuries, women have been forced to be the caretakers of men who refuse to grow. Forced to be the babysitters for literal toddlers, repeating themselves for the thousandth time, only to be dismissed over and over again. But then—when men needed them—suddenly, they were met with soft words.

"We love you." "We care for you."

Not because they truly valued them, but because they needed them. Because they knew that if they said the right words, the babysitting would continue. The cycle would repeat. And women would stay.

As Paris Paloma so bluntly puts it in Labour: "It’s not an act of love if you make her, you make me do too much labour." And yet, that’s exactly what women do. The work of explaining, of justifying, of carrying relationships on their backs while men remain comfortable in their complacency.

Emotional Labor: The Unpaid Debt Men Owe Women

Emotional labor is invisible. It is the unseen work of remembering, adjusting, anticipating, and accommodating. It is the effort of keeping a relationship alive, not through grand gestures, but through the small, everyday acts of care: sending the first message, checking in, planning the dates, softening one’s words so as not to offend, managing both her emotions and his.

And what does she get in return? Silence. Dismissal. A cold, transactional exchange where he receives physical intimacy, comfort, and unwavering support, while she is left begging for basic emotional effort. The irony is painful—women are accused of being needy and emotional, yet it is their emotional labor that sustains relationships. Without it, everything crumbles.

Men are rarely expected to reciprocate this effort. When they do, they are praised for doing the absolute bare minimum. He bought flowers once? What a great boyfriend. He finally called after ignoring her texts for days? He must really care. He didn’t cheat? Wow, what a loyal man.

Loyalty, in its most basic sense, is not a gift. It is the bare minimum. And yet, men weaponize their so-called loyalty as if it justifies everything else they fail to give. “At least I’m not cheating.” But is fidelity a favor, or is it simply a fundamental expectation? Women have been conditioned to accept loyalty as a substitute for effort, as if their mere presence in a man’s life should be enough to sustain them.

It is a pattern as old as time:

Women ask for emotional effort.

Men either dismiss it or claim they don’t understand.

Women lower their expectations.

Men remain unchanged.

Maisie Peters captures this cycle in History of Man:

"She stays up, he’s sleeping like a lamb. She begs him, he says he doesn’t understand."

And he never would—because he never had any reason to. It is always the woman’s job to carry the burden of emotional labour. To shrink down her expectations, make them digestible, avoid hurting his fragile ego. To take care of his emotions so he doesn’t feel emasculated by her stating her basic needs.

She overanalyzes, puts it in simpler terms—like a mother explaining to a three-year-old why he can’t play with fire—only for him to fan the flames with mockery, dismissal, and an utter lack of responsibility.

If a woman still stands firm in her basic needs, she is labeled:

Crazy.

An overthinker.

High-maintenance.

A bitch.

Stuck-up.

And then comes the age-old jab:

What do you bring to the table?

Do you think you are all that?

Yes. She is. She is ten times more than what she is bargaining for.

A tale as old as time—she asks, and he doesn’t understand. And when she finally walks away, the breakup came from nowhere?

Really?

You're worried about her cheating? Maybe you should be worried about your nonexistent emotional intelligence. Women are continuously expected to carry the burden, to bear the weight of shame and neglect, teaching themselves to live with it. And when someone comes along who does the bare minimum, we celebrate him like some kind of hero.

OR We tell ourselves: It’s fine, he’s just like that.

But when did just like that become an excuse for emotional neglect?

Weaponized Incompetence: The Ultimate Power Play

The most insidious part of this cycle is that men benefit from it.

A man who claims he doesn’t know how to meet a woman’s emotional needs is a man who knows full well that if he drags his feet long enough, she will either teach him—doing all the emotional work for him—or stop asking—so he can remain unchanged. This is not ignorance; it is a strategy.

Because while women are sitting there thinking, Maybe if I just explain it differently... maybe if I give him more time... maybe if I don’t make a big deal out of it...

Men are sitting there thinking… nothing.

They don’t have to think about it. Their comfort is intact. Their life does not change. The only person who changes is the woman.

The Blame Always Falls on Her.

Maisie Peters puts it best: "The men start wars, yet Troy hates Helen."

Men cause destruction—whether through neglect, selfishness, or outright harm—but it is always the woman who gets blamed for reacting to it. Women are called too emotional, too demanding, too much. And yet, what we ask for isn’t excessive. It’s basic. It’s effort.

The Feigned Ignorance Epidemic

"What do you mean by emotional effort?" "What exactly are you asking for?" "Why do I have to do that?"

These are not genuine questions; they are tactics. They serve to exhaust the woman into silence, making her feel unreasonable for wanting the bare minimum.

It comes in the form of I don’t know how to cook. It comes in the form of I didn’t know you wanted it. It comes in the form of You’re making a big deal out of something so small.

But in reality, he never tried. He never wanted to understand what a woman needs. He does just enough—the required bare minimum—where it’s not explosive enough to justify leaving but also not enough to fulfill her.

Why He Wins Every Time?

He wins because she stops asking. She learns to accept less. The less he does, the more grateful she will be for scraps of affection when he does something—anything.

And the cycle repeats.

Not because women are weak.

But because society has conditioned them to be patient, understanding, and endlessly forgiving.

The Starved Beast Inside Every Woman

They Pavlov-train us into feeding on breadcrumbs, throwing us a feast once in a while—and like mindless, starving beasts, we devour our own sanity, questioning our worth.

We sit there, analyzing every move, overthinking every silence, dissecting every lukewarm display of affection like it’s a goddamn riddle we need to solve.

We perform for them, thinking:

"If I act a certain way, maybe I will be rewarded." "If I soften my voice, if I phrase it differently, if I don't push too hard, maybe this time he'll understand." "If I don’t ask too much, if I let it go, maybe he’ll finally see my worth."

But the truth? He already knows. He has always known.

Because deep down, in every woman, there is a beast—one that has been starved for generations.

They Feed Us Just Enough to Keep Us Hungry.

Men know the only way to tame this beast is by strategic feeding. Just enough to keep us from leaving. Just enough to make us doubt our rage. Just enough to keep us hopeful.

So, when, on one rare afternoon, he offers her comfort— She mistakes it for salvation.

The History of Man Is Written in the Blood of a Woman

This anger is not just personal—it is historical.

It is the anger of every grandmother who stayed in a loveless marriage because she had no other choice. It is the anger of every mother who worked twice as hard, raising children while managing a husband who refused to grow up. It is the anger of every friend who has sat in a bathroom, crying over a man who made her feel small.

"The capillaries in my eyes are bursting, if our love dies, would that be the worst thing?" – Paris Paloma

For centuries, women have been silenced, gaslit into believing they were asking for too much. They were told to be patient, to be softer, to be more understanding.

Men build kingdoms on the sacrifices of women. They take and take until there is nothing left but a hollowed-out version of the woman who once loved them. They rewrite history, leaving out the women who carried them there.

But we remember.

The rage felt by every woman reading this is not just about him. It is about every woman before her who was dismissed and belittled for being who she was and demanding what was rightfully hers. It is the helplessness that creeps in when she realizes that no matter what she does, she cannot escape this cruel fate.

The twisted rage seeps in, taunting her for being the softer version of herself, for putting so much of her on the line when both history and the present are filled with stories that prove one thing: the house she built with so much love and sacrifice will burn down in the end.

It is the cost of betraying herself for a man who wouldn’t betray his desires for a single second. It is looking in the mirror and hating what she has become.

And because the world does not accommodate a woman’s rage, she turns it inward.

No matter how many times she starts over, the ending is always the same. The hourglass in this timeline can be reversed, but escape is a delusion. They delude us into believing that we are the wrong ones, that we are at fault, while they sit fat and comfortable, untouched by the consequences of their own neglect.

The question that haunts her: "For whom did I betray myself?"

The irony is unbearable—to realize she is not the woman she owed to the little girl she once was. She can feel the spirits of the women before her watching her misery, with both condescension and sympathy. The blood running through her veins whispers: "Didn’t you learn the lesson in your own house?"

As Maisie Peters sings: "I tried to rewrite it, but I can't. It's the history, the history of man."

The End of the Cycle

Women are indoctrinated from birth to believe that their greatest virtue is sacrifice.

Sacrifice yourself. Your desires. Your needs. Your voice. Your very essence.

Because men benefit from it.

They don’t have to do anything. They don’t have to take responsibility for their actions.

But the real test of love is not endurance. Love is not supposed to feel like a thousand knives thrust into your heart. Love is not supposed to feel like swallowing acid, burning your voice forever.

Love is knowing you can exist selfishly.

The greatest act of love a woman can perform is to love herself so fiercely that she walks away at the first sign of danger—when someone threatens her in even the slightest way.

It is in understanding that she was never asking for too much.

In reality, he was never enough.

"You’ll lose me—the best you’ll ever have." – Maisie Peters

[ash-says]

On today's episode of "Quit being Basic, be Iconic" I am here to info dump some basic survival skills that help me in my personal and professional life.

Yes I know I was MIA for the longest time but I am slowly trying to crawl back from my hibernation as it's Spring Ladiessss!!!

So no more delay let's get into it:

1) VALUE. VALUE. VALUE over anything. Be a person who has something to offer. Best if it's multiple things.

2) Know the cost of your value and trade it efficiently. Bargain like a Man and act humble like a Woman.

3) Arrogance without substance is a recipe for disaster. It's tricky being a woman you can't be arrogant because then you are a bitch and self stuck up (which you should be) but assess the right place to channel it. Don't be arrogant in front of your teachers or peers who might be useful to you tomorrow for sure (you know having a tribe kinda thing) but be arrogant with that girl in your class who is always making things difficult for you or with that guy who can't take a no for an answer. Arrogance with substance always but also served at the right place and right time just enough to scare them from causing any drama.

4) Honey we never stir up a drama but surely know how to end one.

5) This is a corporate tip: You don't threaten the person in power. Especially your boss who has the promotion. Never show who you are. Take time in assessing what is expected out of you not just from the work front but also as a person and soft skills wise. Blend yourself in their work style rather than expecting them to blend with yours.

6) Channel the masses but don't be afraid to fuck the masses if required. There's something really intriguing when you are one of them but still don't need them for anything.

7) Effortless. Everything you do should look effortless.

8) Don't say or act like you are above others 24/7. Pavlov them into it with small repeated consistent subtle reminders. It's all in the small things.

9) Never rush to impress or try to put on a performance. Even if you are, we have to make it look like that's you in your natural state. If that person was not here you would still act the same way. Impress them with your naturality. Baffle them with your skills.

10) One thing my manager told me early on in my job and I swear by it," Create dependency." Be a need not a want.

That's all I got. I am having a feeling I am repeating the same things again and again might need some time to gather my thoughts.

[ash-says]

Recently I have been realising the biggest hurdle is not doing what is best for yourself but to do it consistently with the right amount.

Another time I had an Ahha moment is when people around me say,"No. Don't you think it's too much? Do you think it's possible?"

Because in my head if I want it I just get it (not irrationally I have an analytical mind which is overworking 24/7) but sometimes I feel like I live in alternate reality completely focused on myself that I truly forget what is easy for me might be emotional damage level to others.

Honestly I just love this unbothered state of mine where I just listen to myself, my body and my intuition but again living in a society asks you to be in tune with others also at times for your own benefits. Won't say I struggle in this department but it's a slippery road so keep yourself in check ladies if you are like me.

[ash-says]

I think the game changer of my life was to have : Audacity.

That's it.

I observed the people around me especially 'MEN' and I realised the one thing they all had in common was "AUDACITY".

Even the successful and strong women around me and those who I admired through this phone screen.

Each and every one of them is "Audacious".

They were not afraid to ask for what they wanted.

A phrase I believe in," If you don't ask, the answer is always no."

Audacity + Confidence + Great people skills = New opportunities

Just grab it and you will figure it out on the way.

Know what you want and be audacious to demand it.

Life became a lot simpler for me this way and it was easy to reject anything that did not align with my vision.

Be Fucking Audacious.

[ash-says]

hiii ! i love your post about being audacious 🩷 do you have any tips about improving people skills/ being more charismatic? thank youuuu 🤭

Hello girlll!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the audacious post. It's one of my fav tbh I literally came up with it while I was cooking. So coming to your question let me see how I can help you out tbh I share my opinions and what has worked for me so far. So practice discernment and take everything with a pinch of salt✨✨

Tips to improve People Skills/ Being more Charismatic:

1) Find your USP:

USP means Unique Selling Proposition. What makes you unique and I mean it in a personality sense more here. You can extend it to your looks but start from a personality trait cause it will be forever and very personal to you. Even if someone copies it, it will always be a cheap one.

I will elaborate on this with an example:

One of my ex colleagues was really good at socializing. He was 27 years old but I kid you not he looked like a 20 year old or even younger at times. He had a boyish charm and he used it to his full advantage. He literally had a child's energy and would jump here and there in the office, act like a literal child when not working. He had a refreshing energy to him the type that reminds you of your childhood days. Heck after a meeting with the CEO he used to watch cartoons to destress and made us watch it too so we could also relax but when it came to work he was smart, efficient and knew how to use his easy going socializing energy to generate sales. So you get my point right?? Find what attracts people to you or what value you can offer to them.

2) Knowledge. Education.

I personally swear by this. Be as disgustingly educated as possible. Know about various topics at least the basics of current trends or what's hot and some off topics. This adds dimension to your personality and helps you to hold a conversation with anyone. Plus you never run out of topics to speak on.

3) Confidence. No elaboration needed.

4)Sense of humour.

Why bore people to death by reciting the merciless nature of Julius Caesar when you could present it as a joke when something relatable comes up??? People are more likely to find you charismatic if you can make them laugh.

5) Master the art of Storytelling

This!!! Right here is a cheat code I tell you. You don't have much knowledge to speak on for now? Fine as you gradually work on it hold conversations by sharing bits of your life in a colorful way. Engage people with your life stories. Make them fun and a little dramatic. I am not advising you to lie. There's always a way you can convey something in an entertaining manner. Master it. I personally use it a lot and it's fun to connect with people cause they too loosen up and share their stories and then you link it up with your sense of humour by adding a nice comment or comeback.

Warning : Never share details that are very personal to you. Only share funny incidents and situations that won't bring you in trouble if gossiped about. Practice with discernment.

6) Learn positive body language and develop empathy. Empathy truly helps you in connecting with people on a deeper level and creating a bond based on trust and emotions.

7) Smile. Don't grin like a fool but when you see someone you know make a note to address them. Wish them good morning ,etc . Pass a genuine smile towards them. Be polite.

8) Be genuinely interested in other people but not in a nosy way instead in a healthy way. Help them out if you can. A good deed never goes to waste.

9) Have a positive outlook on everything. No one wants a pessimistic person around them. Even on days you can't. You know the mantra ," Fake it till you make it".

10) Support people. Be kind. Soft spoken. Know your place. Don't downplay yourself in front of people who are clearly not at your level and don't overestimate yourself in front of people who are professionals in those fields. Get a grip on how to act with whom. You won't know it until and unless you won't do it. Have a strong sense of self, be opinionated, confident and be witty. It's fun that way. Push your limits and don't be afraid to network with new people and talk to strangers. Who knows what will happen??

Possibilities are endless.

I hope this helps you out✨✨

[ash-says]

Just wanted to say I found your blog 3 minutes ago and it’s already my favourite one on here 🫶🏻

Thanks love✨✨🦋🦋🦋

The appreciation really means a lot to me as it motivates me on my tough days to keep going✨✨🦋🦋

[ash-says]

✨ BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out ✨

Not you making me tap in my soft girl energy with all this love♥️♥️♥️ Thanks beautiful✨✨🦋🦋

[ash-says]

Thank you sweetie✨✨✨🦋🦋🦋 sorry for the late reply I have been off from Tumblr for a long time just saw it and literally you made my night✨✨✨✨🦋🦋🦋🦋

☆ — put this star in the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! 💗ྀིྀི

😍💗 tysm xxxxxx

Here are the darlings I’d give stars to cus there’s too many:

@pastel-charm-14 @study-diaries @elonomhblog @honeytonedhottie @prettieinpink @thatgirlie-diaries @ash-says @studyingscribbles @malusokay @flowerflowerflo

[ash-says]

Survival 101 :

Buckle up your seatbelt darling because this is going to be triggering and one hell of a ride. Don't expect mushy from me. Might do it when tapped in my soft girl era but today I feel like a Villain.

1) Keep your mouth shut where you don't hold the power. No power no expressed opinions that can put you in trouble.

2) Learn manipulation and seduction skills. This will help you to detect when someone is trying to manipulate and seduce you. Saves a lot of drama and heartache.

3) Fight back strategically. We don't want to lose a job, a degree certificate, a bruise on your body,etc depending on your situation.

4) Facts over emotions. Always.

5) 90% of older men are creepy. Speaking from experience here. Play with them by ear. Get what you want by being polite and respectful but if they try to harass you or take advantage we turn Medusa on them or if you are not in a position to fight and walk out safe just play cutesy and shy and dumb. Ask him what he means and do not take a word said by him seriously. Dodge his advances like your life depends on it until you get an opening to run for the hills.

6) Snap out of delusions and pay attention to reality. People are not what you make them out to be they are what they show you. Stop making excuses for them.

7) Anxiety can be crippling. Panic attacks are the worst but no matter what happens try your level best to never show them publicly. Men are vultures and vulnerable women are easy prey for men.

8) That one friend who is all sweet to you and is your bff but anything positive happens in your life and suddenly starts becoming passive aggressive. Not your friend. Don't share any secrets. Best to be kept as an acquaintance.

9) Develop sarcasm and don't be afraid to put self entitled bitches and bastards in their place. Better being called a 'Mean Girl' over a 'Doormat'.

10) Bully back the bullies. It's 2024 sweetie we don't wait for an opportunity for revenge we fucking create it.

11) No matter how tough your life is going everyone shouldn't be getting a broadcast about it. At least not by your own mouth. Try to act as put together as you can.

12) Kindness is virtue but being apathetic saves you. Don't be the fool who bleeds through the stabs of the same knives again and again. "Because I can't see them in pain. I have a heart." Babygirl you have a life too. All that emotional stress is going to result in some serious problems in the upcoming years.

13) Learn when to quit. The most emotionally intelligent people I know are great quitters. They know when it's the end of an era.

14) Never disclose your family issues to outsiders. Until and unless a person has proved their loyalty to you year after year only those selected one or two people should know your domestic issues. Anyone else knowing it is like having a good gossip for tea time.

15) Lastly, there are no fucking saviours in real life. You are your own saviour.

[ash-says]

Tips on how to dodge personal questions in a Professional Setting:

I know. I know. I said I will be on a break and I still stand by that but it was difficult to throw away the sudden surge of motivation so here I am.

I received a request to make a post on this long back so here is your girl serving it. Honestly I am not much of an expert at it either but I have some ways that work sometimes so here goes nothing.

1) Do not give in to the pressure.

Literally that's the starting point. Whenever someone asks us a personal question we feel obligated at some level to answer because of xyz reasons. That's why we first need to escape the pressure of answering.

2) Straightforwardly and Politely state I am not comfortable answering that.

The bulletproof method. No explanation needed.

3) If you are in a situation where the person is being really nosy and can't take a no for an answer. Try saying to them,"I don't understand how it's relevant to our topic of discussion."

4) If you are not in a position to decline at all which happens when the person asking the question is of higher authority and has influence in this situation give vague answers that lead nowhere.

Example: So are you dating anyone?

It's tough to say in particular you know the dating scene nowadays it's difficult to put a name on anything.

Or what do you do on your weekends?

Nothing just the usuals. I am an office worker after all.

This creates a sense of familiarity with the crowd but at the same time does not reveal anything in precision.

5) Turn the topic on them. One of the smartest things you can do is make them the central focus. People love to talk about themselves so it works most of the time until you come across someone truly smart.

Example: hey how's the new office? Are you liking it here?

Ans: Well I am still getting used to the environment here. What about you? How long have you been working here?

6) Another thing you can do is dance around the topic but not on the topic. You remember how you used to write a 1 mark question for 5 marks exactly like that. Tell the prequel and sequel of the question but never answer the exact question.

7) This one is kinda rude I won't suggest doing it around randomly but if you have been in the corporate space for sometime you would know that there are some people who like to ask things only to belittle you or spread gossip or to be mean. The jealous ones that don't have a life of their own.

In case they ask something or say something rude or cross a boundary just start singing a song or change the topic completely. Don't acknowledge anything they say and continue with your random talks or humming. Trust me it's the easiest way to get rid of them.

Still some are persistent and will try to get an answer. Simply say it's not worth discussing. It's boring.

8) Apart from that there are subtle things you can do which can create a persona that conveys you are not open towards personal questions. You can do it by simply detaching yourself whenever someone starts talking about their personal lives. Don't be a participant or a listener. It gives a que you are not looking to bond personally and many other similar things.

9) If you are truly in a toxic work culture where your colleagues seem to constantly bug and bully you to share personal stuff (happened with me in my previous workplace) Firmly state,"I come here to work not to make personal relations."

10) Ignore.

I hope it helps even a little there's not much we can do without offending the other person but we can be gentle and polite in our tone and gesture that's the only way.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

[ash-says]

Hello ladies I hope you all are doing great✨✨

Starting today I am going on a break for sometime so I won't be active here much.

All the people who had sent in their asks regarding certain topics I assure you I have a proper list made of it and will get to it the first thing when I am back.

Till then take care and be safe out there.