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Wake up with your dream life: affirm & relax challenge

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

This is a challenge suggestion created by @leilth that I expanded upon ❤️

This challenge is going to help: calm your anxiety & stress, remove negativity, help reprogram your mind for manifesting your dream life, shifting, or entering the void.

Most beneficial for people with: overthinking tendencies, overactive minds, stress & anxiety, difficult circumstances

Why affirm & relax?

Most people have heard about affirm & persist, which has a lot of baggage attached, and may be seen as “robotic” or a chore. We’re switching that mindset up now.

We’re affirming because thinking positive thoughts makes us feel good. We’re thinking all the time anyway, we might as well be thinking thoughts that make us happy.

We’re relaxing because we know our dream life is on the way and we don’t have to do anything to deserve/earn/achieve it.

We’re not forcing ourselves or doing techniques to “get anything”. Like doing a yoga class or getting a massage - we’re doing it because it’s relaxing & makes us feel good.

We already know our desires belong to us, the techniques are just calming the doubtful human mind to make the transition easier.

We are relaxing and not obsessing about a deadline or time crunch because we know time is an illusion and our success is inevitable.

Challenge steps!

1) Decide your focus/intention. Do you want to wake up with all your desires? Master the void? Shift to your DR? Decide now and make your script or desires list, if you haven’t already. Got it? Alright, it’s yours! All you have to do now is sit back and relax and wait for your reality to conform.

In the meantime, here’s what you can do to relax and embody your desired state until it materializes:

2) Pick a sub playlist or make your own. I have curated a couple playlists with trusted subs you might want to try:

If you have a lot of negativity and unfortunate circumstances in your life, this playlist is for releasing negativity, curses & toxic people and manifesting a better life.

I collected a bunch of subs for this challenge that include topics like waking up with your desires, manifesting overnight, shifting, self-concept, blockage removals, boosters and more. The first sub in the playlist is one that can be looped overnight to wake up with your desires.

Subs for the void state

Pick the ones most relevant to you and make your own playlist to use daily.

3) Listen to your playlist 30-60 minutes a day. Try listening once in the morning and once at night, but any time works. You can also loop your playlist in the background throughout the day or night and listen while doing other things.

For about 10 minutes of your listening time, try to relax and breathe deeply while sitting in the psych-k position.

4) Listen to an aff tape for 10 minutes while doing psych-k or another calming exercise. Instead of psych-k, you could also try SRT, tapping, breathwork, lying under a weighted blanket, or any other calming exercise. If you do it with psych-k then do it 5 minutes each sides.

My aff tapes:

comfort & relaxation

self-concept & void concept

master shifter & master manifestor

I’m living my dream life

5) EFT tapping for your desires twice a day. You can follow the basic script I provided here, but try to use your own words with whatever specific emotions you find coming up for you in the moment. Try to tap for around 10-15 minutes. In the morning just after you wake up & before you go to bed are the most powerful times.

You can also do quick mini tapping sessions throughout the day. It’s fine to just tap only on one point while repeating your affs for a positive tune-up.

6) Each hour say your affirmation 30 times. Set a repeating reminder on your phone with one blanket aff such as “I have all my desires” or “I woke up with my dream life” or “I’m in my desired reality” or “I have mastered the void” and repeat 30x when it goes off. It’s ok to repeat it in your head if you can’t say it out loud.

The specific number of 30 affs is based off Cleo’s 12hr movement challenge which was very successful for many people who tried it. Feel free to repeat more or less based on your preference.

7) As you are drifting off to sleep: imagine, affirm, or intend to wake up with your desires. You might picture a brief scene opening your eyes to your desires in the morning (if you’re good at visualization). You could repeat the same aff you have been repeating throughout the day, or pick a short phrase that would make you feel successful like “I did it!” to loop until you fall asleep.

8) Repeat daily until you wake up with your desires!

NOTE: You may or may not see 3D acting up but again it's a good sign that what you are doing is working. You can tend to the 3D but don’t react to it. That’s just the old story trying to pull you back. Treat those old thoughts and circumstances like unruly children, firmly tell them “no!” And don’t let them get away with anything!! You are the boss now!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Daily Activities Summary:

1) Listen to your sub playlist for 30-60 minutes. It’s fine to listen while doing other things. Try to sit in the psych-k position while listening for at least 10 minutes.

2) Listen to an aff tape while doing psych-k (or other calming activity) for 10 minutes. Just breathe deep and relax while listening.

3) EFT tapping for 10-15 minutes, once in the morning & once in the evening, more if you want!

4) Affirm with your main aff 30 times each hour you’re awake.

5) Affirm or imagine waking up with your desires as you drift off to sleep.

6) No identifying with 3D circumstances, tell negative thoughts “No!” and counteract them with your affs.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Why do we do each method?

Psych-k: we do psych-k sessions while listening to subliminals or aff tapes because it helps calm our nervous systems and connect both sides of our brains, releasing stuck stress and speeding up the process of learning the affirmations.

Tapping: we do tapping because it helps us to remove all blocked energy & emotions holding us back, replacing it with beliefs that say we already have our desires. It helps us shift our state to feel like we already have what we want and makes it easier to accept our new affs.

Repeating affirmations: we are repeating affirmations each hour so we saturate our mind as much as possible and remind ourselves of the new story. We’re doing this to calm the impatient overactive human brain that wants to keep telling the old story.

SATS/lullaby: Imagining your desires fulfilled or repeating affirmations as you go to sleep are some of the OG methods of loa manifesting. Whatever you think of right before you fall asleep is going to powerfully affect your subconscious mind.

How long is this gonna take??

Everything depends on how much resistance you have and your personal mindset and journey. We’re not making deadlines or limits because time is an illusion right?

But on average, both EFT and Psych-k have been proven to permanently change beliefs in about 7 sessions. So one week should be more than enough. Since we’re also doing tapping and affirming and listening to subs, it’s gonna work from all angles, speeding up the process even if you have doubts, fears, or limiting beliefs.

Now stop scrolling and go affirm and relax!! You’re gonna be living your dream life in no time at all! 💕

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EFT Tapping Script Template for Void State, Manifesting & Shifting

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

This is an example EFT tapping script to use to clear your negative beliefs, calm your nervous system, and reprogram your mind with positive affirmations around entering the void, manifesting your dream life or shifting.

If you've never tried tapping before, this quick video demonstrates all the points you need to know. Some people don't use the wrist point and that's fine, I prefer to use it. You can also tap other places on the body, especially places that might hold tension like your lower back or shoulders.

Phase 1: Set-Up

Tapping sessions start off with a "set-up" on the side of the hand, where you tell yourself that even though you have all these negative thoughts, it's ok and you love yourself anyway.

The set-up phrase template is: "Even though I [have this negative thought/feeling/situation], I deeply and completely love and accept and forgive myself." It's usually repeated 3 times, but can go longer if you want.

It's best to use your own words, but this is the basic idea:

For void state: "Even though I think the void is hard to enter, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I have tried so many times to enter the void, and I keep failing, and I'm so frustrated and annoyed, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself. Even though I have tried so many methods and nothing is working, and I'm so mad that people make it seem so easy, and I feel like something is wrong with me, I deeply and completely love and accept and forgive myself. I'm willing to change the way I look at things. I'm willing to change my mind and my state. I'm willing to let go of the past."

For manifesting your dream life or shifting: "Even though I think it sounds impossible that I can wake up with all my desires/shift to my desired reality, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I have so many limiting beliefs from society, doubts that this is real, and people telling me this is ridiculous, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself. Even though I have tried so many methods and keep failing, and I wonder if I'll every be successful, and I feel like something is wrong with me, I deeply and completely love and accept and forgive myself. I'm willing to change the way I look at things. I'm willing to change my mind and my state. I'm willing to let go of the past,"

Take a deep breath, rub your hands together, drink some water.

Phase 2: Venting

Start tapping on the main points in a cycle and continue with the venting.

Void: "I have been trying to enter the void for so long. I haven't had any success. It's just so frustrating. It's just so hard. No matter what I try it doesn't work. Every morning I wake up disappointed that I failed to enter the void again. Why has it been so hard for me? Some people make it look so easy. It's just not fair. What am I doing wrong?"

Manifesting/shifting: "I have been trying to manifest my dream life/shift for so long. I haven't had any success or movement at all. Every morning I wake up in my same old reality and I'm so frustrated. I just want to wake up with all my desires. I'm just sick of this life. Why do some people make it look so easy? I've tried everything and keep failing. What's wrong with me?"

Continue venting for as long as you need. You might want to go through 2-3 (or more) rounds of the negative before you move on.

Phase 3: Bridging

Next I like to start making "bridging" statements. Like you're creating a bridge from your past negative state to your future one, you're gradually guiding yourself to feel better.

Example bridge for any: "I know I've been trying for a long time. But I also know I've had a lot of things to overcome. Yes, my life has been difficult. I know it's not my fault. I know I'm not doing anything wrong. I can't compare my journey to anyone else's. I don't know what they were going through before they had their success. But I do know I am in control of my future. No matter what happened in the past, I'm willing to believe I am in control now. I'm willing to believe that life can be easy for me. I'm open to believing that I can be successful."

You can continue to bridge as long as you need to. If you find your affirmations hard to believe, you can do a few rounds saying them starting with bridging phrases like:

Maybe I can start to believe that ____

I'm willing to believe ____

I am open to the possibility that ____

I can start to accept that ____

I choose to believe ____

Phase 4: Positive Affirmations

Finally, start using your positive affirmations and hyping yourself up.

Void: "It literally doesn't matter what happened in the past, because I am in control now. I was overcomplicating things because of tumblr and putting the void on a pedestal. I don't have to do that anymore. I know the void is real. I also know the void is no big deal. I know I enter the void every night when I sleep. I've entered the void a million times before. I know the void is just myself in my highest form. I know I am in control of the void because I am the creator. I know the void is easy to enter. I know I can enter the void easily no matter what."

Manifesting/shifting: "It literally doesn't matter what happened in the past, because I am in control now. I was overcomplicating things because of tumblr/ShiftTok and putting my desires on a pedestal. I don't have to do that anymore. I know manifesting/shifting is real. I know I am the creator of my reality and I can have anything I want. No desire or reality is more special, bigger or more important than any other. I know I can have whatever I want. I know I can shift/manifest easily. I am a master shifter/manifestor now. It's so easy for me to get all my desires."

Continue with the positive statements for as long as you want. In total the whole thing would probably take 10-20 minutes, but you can always go longer.

When you're done, rub your hands together or "Namaste", thank yourself for doing the work, and drink lots of water!!

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12HOUR MOVEMENT CHALLENGE

i mentioned several times in the past that at some point in my journey i used to set alarms for every hour i was awake to remind myself to affirm. though i don’t do that anymore due to it being too freaking much, it definitely gave me a lot of movement every time. if you love affirming as much as i do then you should definitely try this! technically it’s only a one day challenge since that’s all you need but you can do it however long you’d like to.

𝐈 ︴decide what you want and create an affirmation

» example: i want to be 5’0. my affirmation will be “i am naturally 5 feet tall”

𝐈𝐈 ︴set an alarm or a reminder for every hour your awake

» assuming you already know how long you’re usually awake, set a reminder for every hour. you can use the self pause app, reminders app, alarms, whatever it really doesn’t matter so pls don’t inbox me “do i have to use that app or any app?” just make sure you have something that’ll remind you hourly. my reminders were usually set from 7am - 10pm so not necessarily 12 hours but whatevs.

𝐈𝐈𝐈 ︴repeat your affirmation 30x

» each time my reminder went off, i repeated my affirmation 30x (aka said it in my head 30x). i wouldn’t necessarily say i said it robotically, i just said it normally like if i was reading a sentence from a book or something.

𝐈𝐕 ︴dassit honestly

» that’s it y’all. it’s real easy. i did this around the lowest part of my journey and still got results so i don’t wanna see any circumstances or excuses in my inbox. i rebuke.

⸻ okay. tomorrow morning i will clear my inbox then after that i am going on a hiatus. as a girl, i feel as if i need a whole week to prepare for this vacation loll plus i spend a lot of time on here so i could use a break. so any questions you have try to get them in by 8-10am ish idk sleep schedule kind of fawked.

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𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇-𝐊 / 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐅𝐒 + 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆

what is psych-k? •°. *࿐

according to the psych-k frequently asked questions, PSYCH-K, "is a proven and safe way to change subconscious beliefs that perpetuate old habits of thinking and behaving that you would like to change."^1 dumbing it down, you are using psych-k to tap into your subconscious and conscious simultaneously, rewiring your brain with a single affirmation. and while doing this, you may begin to have a rush of negative, limiting thoughts, but instead of pushing them away in frustration, you will invite them in. think of it like this... you are the teacher and your affirmation is a brand-new lecture. you're standing at the front of the room in front of many desks, all filled with 'students' aka your thoughts, emotions, etc. as you are 'lecturing' (repeating this affirmation over and over and over) the 'students' begin to disrupt you with hurtful words or overall trying to debate with your 'lecture'. how do you handle this? you continue to 'lecture', you can continue to listen to your 'students', and eventually, the 'students' will quiet down until there's complete silence and that's when your 'lecture' has started to implement its knowledge into your 'students'.

how does psych-k work? •°. *࿐

"PSYCH-K® is a unique process, having evolved from years of brain research and thousands of sessions with individuals and groups. It creates a receptive, “Whole-Brain State” that dramatically reduces unwanted resistance to change in the subconscious mind. The subconscious can be accessed in a way analogous to a personal computer. PSYCH-K® works as a kind of ‘mental keyboard’ — a user-friendly method of communicating with the subconscious mind that is simple, direct, and verifiable."^2

has there been scientific research on psych k? •°. *࿐

absolutely. if you'd like to read more about this, you can go here and download the various articles and give them a quick read.

how does psych-k differ from other methods as well as other healing techniques such as meditation? •°. *࿐

if you're looking for a thorough answer to this question, feel free to look at this for reference as it better explains the answer to this question in its entirety. the bottom line, however, is that this technique is just as important as others and is not meant to replace any other methods, it is simply another addition. many healing techniques will depend on outside sources of the person, such as a psychologist, hypnotist, or anyone with similar titles. however, psych-k will depend on the inner-workings of those who are performing it, psych-k simply provides the tools and you, the one who is getting into this 'whole brain state' are the one actually doing all of the work. you will be the one taking apart your limiting beliefs and replacing them with whatever you truly desire.

will it benefit me? •°. *࿐

PSYCH-K, "[...] enables you to communicate with your subconscious mind so you can change beliefs that are limiting your self-esteem, relationships, job performance, even your physical health…and much more! PSYCH-K® is popularly characterized as a spiritual process with psychological and physical benefits. While the term “psych” is often used as an abbreviation for “psychology,” in our case it is used as a variant spelling of the word psyche, meaning “mind,” “soul,” or “spirit.” The letter “K” represents the Key to sustainable success."^3

why should i test out the psych method? •°. *࿐

just like anything else, you do not need to try this out, however, what do you have to lose? the results may shock you.

can anyone do the psych-k technique? •°. *࿐

absolutely anyone can do the psych-k, it is not limited to any particular group of people, and it can effect people differently depending on how they use it.

how do i do psych-k? •°. *࿐

there are many videos on YouTube that will provide a visual guide of instructions on how to do it, however, this is the video that I use and I highly recommend that you watch the entire video to get a logical understanding of what's happening (if you prefer logical info like I do). and if you're having trouble figuring out how to position your hands, watch this video as well. I'd also like to mention that if you're unsure of which side of your brain has more resistance to a new belief, set yourself a timer for 5 minutes and do psych-k with your left ankle crossed over your right and your left hand crossed over your right. after the timer goes off, switch your right ankle to cross over your left, and your right hand to cross over your left. a l s o, if you decide to have resistance against this method bc or any method in general (bc you're stubborn perhaps), take the time to do psych-k and affirm that all methods work for you, boom, fuckin' foolproof.

can i use psych-k to manifest anything i desire? •°. *࿐

yes, yes you can, you're changing your beliefs right in the moment, there are no fuckin' limits unless you create those limits for yourself.

can i use psych k to enter the void state? •°. *࿐

yes, you can do anything you want with psych-k. @urgurljodie has a bit more information on this, but, i am aware that they sent an ask to someone and stated that while doing psych-k you should affirm that you're in the void state/in the void etc.

how do i know if I'm doing it right? •°. *࿐

there's no need to overcomplicate this, don't fear the replacement. simply sit down, get into position as instructed in the videos provided above, and follow their words. stay in the psych-k position for as long as needed, repeating your new belief over and over, invite the resistance in, and simply keep thinking this new thought until you no longer feel resistance towards your new belief. you'll know if you did it right, promise. may sound unbelievable at first, but again, what do you have to lose?

can i combine psych-k with the laws of manifestation? •°. *࿐

absolutely, use any affirmations you want.

do i have to do psych k to eliminate limiting beliefs? •°. *࿐

nope! this is simply just another method of sorts, you don't need to try anything you don't want to. no one is forcing this shit down your throat...

notes •°. *࿐

i'd recommend this technique that combines psychology and kinesiology to anyone and everyone who thinks they are struggling to build new beliefs or manifest their dream lives. the worse that could happen is that it doesn't work or it just takes you a little longer to replace the programming in your mind. give it a try and report your results. a l s o, before anyone comes at me i will give proper and due credit to @urgurljodie for bringing light to this technique to the tumblr void community, ya should be thanking them for this. this particular technique has thoroughly pleased the logical and more scientific-based limiting beliefs I've had for a while. this post was simply meant to add onto what's already been established, all due credits go to the developer of the technique of rob williams as well as the tumblr user mentioned above.

references.

all of the quoted information comes from this site.

1. https://psych-k.com/faq/#what

2. https://psych-k.com/faq/#what

3. https://psych-k.com/faq/#what

4. here's some information on muscle testing and psych-k

5. clearer instructions for the correct posture (en)

6. more information on the whole brain state

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she cries if I dont hold her, so I have to use my exercise bike like this

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Anyone else remember the time a few years ago where whenever you put "anti harassment" or "antihara" on your blog with out ANYTHING else even related to shipping, let alone shipping discourse, and people would come out of the wood works in your asks telling you how "anti hara is a proship dog whistle" or how they "hope youre not proship, every account that says antihara seems to be" or whatever. Like.... If your first response to seeing someone being against harassment is to assume they're proship... Maybe that should tell you something about how violent and gross the antiship community is? Like if you see someone going "I'm against harassing random people" and your immediate reaction isn't "that's good" but instead is "that's the morals of the group I hate, I need to make sure this person isn't icky and gross like them" maybe you should like, I dunno, reevaluate yourself?? Maybe think about WHY you don't associate being a decent person with your own community?

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Ever feel like your characters are holding out on you? Like there’s something lurking beneath the surface... but they’re just sitting there, being cryptic?

We’ve got some new templates to help you discover their emotional arcs, relationships, and backstories!

Character Arc Planning Template: Growth, self-destruction, spiralling into chaos at the first sign of trouble... Track how your character changes (or refuses to).

Character Relationship Template: Friends, enemies, lovers, ex-lovers-who-are-now-rivals-with-awkward-sexual-tension... Explore relationship dynamics and define how your characters connect.

Emotional Wound Template: Uncover concealed motivations, and craft character-defining backstory with depth and care.

You can find them in Ellipsus—head over to the blog to read more!

- the Ellipsus Team xo

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reblog if you ship a ship that's unhealthy, toxic and fucked up

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Snegulus fic where Regulus is Snapes younger sugar daddy (Theyre like 18 and 20), and his parents love Severus, even Walburga, because Snape is a powerful and well respected Death Eater.

Sev is Regulus' Princess, its almost embarrassing how much they're into eachother. Like the little Black kisses Sev's knuckles everytime they so much as walk by one another in a hallway.

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Man, I've gotten so used to reading fanfics where Severus is portrayed as a bottom. Reading stories with him as a top now feels kinda illegal.

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Can we talk about how Severus is portrayed differently in each of his ships?

I read fanfic of him paired with anyone and I've noticed that he is very different in every ship.

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This post is uh, extremely normal I swear

So hello yes I am absolutely On My Bullshit regarding my new favourite game. 

That’s right, it’s the cannibal incest game, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. And I’m here to shove five thousand words of pretentious analysis down your throat because, and I do not exaggerate, I think it is one of, if not the best written game I have ever played. And I have played a lot of games, including Baldur’s Gate 3, Final Fantasy XIV and Undertale, to name a few narrative luminaries to come to mind.

That wordcount is not an exaggeration. My brainworms are extremely powerful and now you can share them with me as I walk you through my insane skyscraper of inference-driven analysis.

Or you can click away. I really wouldn’t blame you, it’s quite a lot.

Content Warnings: …Yes?

(To drop the bit for a moment, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley covers extremely disturbing material and challenges you to examine aspects of living in this world that many have taken for granted all their life, it is not a comfortable game, this will cover similar topics and will often echo the game’s unremitting scepticism on basic principles of society and humanity and you should look after yourself first. My Content Warning is framed as a joke, but it’s also quite real in that the game is designed to make you uncomfortable and there’s no shame in that not being for you.)

This was originally posted on and formatted for Sufficient Velocity, and you can probably more easily read and discuss it with me here.

With that said, let’s dig in. I have had to split this into multiple posts because tumblr will only allow so many images.

She’s excited, are you?

It’s All About Ashley

It really is, isn’t it? I mean, for approximately eighty percent of the total game as currently released and the entirety of Episode 1, you’re in control of Ashley, just as she’s in control of her and Andrew’s relationship for 80% of the game, up until the various ending sequences where it begins to slip. The only other characters who really matter at all in and of themselves are Andrew and her mother — and the former is under her thumb, and she eats the latter. It’s all about Ashley. Even her obsession with Andrew is, ultimately, about Ashley.

But who is Ashley? What is Ashley? Why is Ashley, even? Let’s take a look.

Ashley as presented to us in Episode 1 is very straightforward, so let’s list off the traits we’re given — she is malicious, she is fearless, she lacks empathy, she doesn’t have anything resembling a conscience, she demands Andrew belong to her and her alone, she has him at her beck and call.

In Episode 2, we’re ostensibly shown how she has him at her beck and call— she leverages the threat of reporting Nina’s death over him and had him swear to be with her forever. We’re shown that even as a child she was “just, like that” — but as a child, she hadn’t learnt to live with it yet, to laugh at the farce of it all.

Yeah, exactly like that!

And she does this throughout Episode 1 — The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is a remarkably silly game much of the time, finding moments of absurdity and levity against a backdrop blacker than pitch — and most of the time, your internal narration is coming from Ashley and the jokes will not-infrequently come at her own expense.

She will later get negged by her human sacrifice for her poor ritual circle drawing

Her reaction to being told that her soul is as dark and viscous as tar is “You guess you already knew that” — it’s confirmation to her, not new information. Ashley knows who she is. But who taught her this? There’s layers to this, nothing in this game is as simple and straightforward as it appears at first sight, which is why I’ve been obsessing over it for days.

While it’s common in fiction, the truth of the matter is, most ‘bad people’ really do think they’re good people. But Ashley has never once thought of herself as a good person — or perhaps better put as a person worthy of love — as we learn across Episodes 1 & 2, with our flashbacks to Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!!

I really wish I had space in this essay to talk about this, but I’d like to touch on these being traits usually more easily forgiven in young boys than young girls at some point.

If she removes all other options, only then can she expect him to like her.

This is something that is echoed in the modern day — her seeming self-assurance is easily shaken and she reaches out to the world — usually Andrew — to affirm and validate her, soothing her insecurities, using any tool she deems necessary. Even when her life is on the line when Andrew has her by the throat at the climax of Episode 1, the only ‘compelling reason’ she can give Andrew to not kill her is her ability to soothe his nightmares. When he tells her there are sleeping pills for that…

Most people would have a bit more to argue for their existence.

While she, unlike Andrew, acknowledges having had friends before the quarantine… you know she’s got a point that they didn’t even bother to answer her calls, that was clearly not something the state was interfering with given Andrew’s calls with his mother and his girlfriend, and given her general demeanour it’s not hard to imagine that… they weren’t ever very close. When we see her and Nina talk in the infamous ‘box scene’, it’s clear that Nina doesn’t like her very much, despite Andrew’s assessment of Nina as being one of Ashley’s friends.

We see further support for her general lack of companionship in her dream sequence in the Burial route — Leyley and Leyley Alone. No matter what you do, you can’t place the pink plushy at the family table, the flowers won’t bloom if you give the Julia and Nina plushies her own as a companion instead of Andrew’s — and if you’re bold enough to go for the ‘incest route’, in the ‘Love’ room you see that no one ever looks happy to be with her in the childlike depictions of her history, nor is she happy in turn, save for when she’s with Andrew. In a bit of heavy-handed metaphor, the player then overwrites all of these tense, upset, hard moments with Andrew, having him fill in for everyone else in life — and happy with her.

Once Upon A Lousy Life…

THE END

And that’s why she needs him to affirm her, because no one else ever has and no one else ever will. It’s even included in their comic beats — when the siblings are getting along well, they’ll often play a game where Andrew dramatically overpraises Ashley while she demands more; it’s a comedic bit but I mean — it really does matter to her!

For the record, she opened a door. She gets a little heart in a speech bubble after this exchange.

We have a great example of this dynamic, that of insecurity and affirmation, in Episode 1, after Andrew has killed for her, butchered for her, his girlfriend broke up with her, he’s seemingly thrown his entire life away for her… she’s still insecure over her relationship with him, she’s uncertain of her control and she needs him to reaffirm it for her.

This is her victory, surely?

Andrew affirms her once, with his usual dead-eyed look.

But she's still not so sure.

He actively reaches out to affirm her again with cheer.

Look how happy she is!

While it’s most obvious and clear cut here, it’s hardly the only case. Let’s look back to the aftermath of Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!! (I’m not using the other name). Leyley is, after similarly extreme acts — he murdered a girl and hid her body for her — convinced Andy doesn’t like her and she needs this leverage to keep him around, to meet her basic needs for survival. Because that’s what this is — she receives no care of affection elsewhere, so she forces it out of the only source she sees available through the means she sees as necessary.

I really hope we see some of their earlier childhood in Episode 3

What exactly made her like this? Was it just neglect, or something more specific…

She needs this to be the case because otherwise she doesn’t believe he’d stay.

This pattern repeats throughout — Ashley’s insecurities are hit on and she reaches out to Andy to affirm that she is not alone, and she will use any and every tool to exploit her ostensible control over him and force him to be what she needs him to be — and as long as she has that, as long as she is everything to him and it’s not possible for him to leave, she’s happy. As long as she thinks he loves her in her very particular, very peculiar view of love, she’s content, come what may. As long as Andy and Leyley are together, they can take on the world.

Let’s talk about that view of love, because there’s always more layers to unpack here I’m only scratching the surface with this essay — Ashley consistently refers to anyone else Andrew may have befriended or spent time with as a whore, a slut, a bitch — highly gendered insults that bring to mind the idea that he’s cheating in some way. But it’s not even about sex — when Andrew mentions that their parents had friends, she accuses them of cheating on each other in the same way!

There’s a lot to unpack about Ashley’s view of femininity and the role the patriarchy plays in their relationship.

Any kind of emotional engagement, any kind of commitment, any kind of life outside of your significant other is, to Ashley, cheating. Because that’s what she needs from Andrew, a seeming complete and total commitment, secure in her place as the only thing in his life, because she cannot understand anyone picking her if they have a choice.

This insecurity she has in her relationship is what drives her to empower the trinket — he can’t leave her as long as she can protect him with prophetic dreams, after all. She needs every kind of leverage she can get because until she succeeds in being everything to him, in devouring him so completely she has him in her thrall mind, body and soul she can’t be sure of herself — hell, her dream sequence in Burial has you placing Andrew’s signature green plushy, ‘the best thing in the world’ in a cage far away from anything else.

Ultimately, it really is all about Ashley — even her seeming obsession with Andrew ultimately comes back to her own insecurities. If she is everything to ‘the best thing in the world’, some of that ‘best’ must surely reflect on her! 

But that’s enough about the more normal, straightforward and understandable sibling. 

That was not a joke.

Andrew’s Rank 100 Deception

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he did not exist.

Let me explain.

You might have noticed that in the previous section I often use language such as ‘ostensibly’ or ‘seemingly’ to describe Andy and Leyley’s relationship, and there’s a good reason for that. From the beginning of the game through to its end, Andrew is lying to you, the player, without ever falsely representing or misinforming you about events that occurred.

The common, or obvious ‘initial take’ on Andrew as presented in Episode 1 is fairly straightforward. The game primes you to think this way, it frames things and strings reveals just right so as to make it very easy to overlook the incongruities it introduces in Episode 2. He’s a victim. Plain and simple, Ashley is his abuser and he is her victim and would be fine, a normal albeit kinda depressed guy without her.

It really is not a difficult conclusion to draw

You can go all the way through the game, have him try to accept his mother’s olive branch and enter the Decay route as a method for him to finally actualise his desire to get out from Ashley’s thumb and it makes sense, it’s a reasonable way for the story to go, given his character.

You see him this way because the game primes you in Episode 1 to view their relationship like Andrew does — he’s lying. He’s lying to himself, he’s lying to Ashley and he’s so good at it — Deception Rank 100 — he even lies to you. Without misrepresenting a single event or otherwise misleading you directly, the game gets you to buy into his preferred self-perception. Nina? Ashley. Julia? Ashley. The murders they commit in the course of the game? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, it’s not his fault he’s not to blame he’s just a doormat at the beck and call of his demonic sister.

But he wants to be there. From the very outset, the very first puzzle, that’s made clear. Does anyone else remember this exchange, from right at the beginning of the game?

Ashley wants to investigate the music!

Andrew disapproves…

…Or does he?! 

Like. Listen. Okay. You do not frown when saying ‘Nope’ and then smile when saying that you’ll instead tag along if they do it if your heart is at all in the no. That’s not an objection, that’s using Ashley as his excuse. Especially if you immediately throw her the balcony key that she could not possibly have gotten from you by force (more on Andrew’s ability to use force later).

This is the very first time you control both characters together with Andrew following Ashley instead of off on his own, the first adventure, the first puzzle! 

But put a pin in that for now, let’s talk about his initial framing in Episode 2 first. Episode 1 has set us up to, generally speaking, believe the superficial framing of the siblings as portrayed in its promotional art:

The question that we then ask, right at the heart of it is… why is he a doormat? We explore this in his dream sequence in Episode 2, which does make it clear that the boy’s not okay but— it’s real easy, given the priming from Episode 1 to make you think that he’s the one with the originally functional moral compass, to think that that him being fucked up is damage done to him by Nina’s death and being bound to Ashley for his entire life. She corrupted him.

But, well, is that the case?

You're primed to ignore this as manipulation (which it is) but the best manipulation has some truth to it.

Precisely two things spur Andrew to action in the entire game, consistently — they are the fear of consequences and Ashley. And the first incident of that fear, the very first time we’re shown his seeming moral compass as a kid — the first time it’s really hammered home that it’s a fear of consequences rather than any true moral qualms is after Nina’s death. And why does he fear consequences here?

……

The ‘natural’ read that many take away from this sequence, particularly those who have only played Decay, is that Ashley browbeat him into doing this against his will, using emotional blackmail to overwhelm his objections, and then used the event itself to bind him to her forever as her personal doormat.

In a strict sense, this is true. But this doesn’t match up with the details, something the game uses shock to encourage you to overlook. That outburst is before any kind of threat has been made, and absolutely nothing either of them say anything about it being morally bad until Ashley weaponises ‘you’re a bad person’ against Andrew — morality didn’t seem to enter his mind or the equation at all until Ashley brought it up. More than that, his greatest fear and driving motivation even prior to that is, as shown above, being taken away from Ashley.

She, of course, recognises this and uses it against him. But she never needed to, it didn’t change anything about Andrew’s attachment to her, it was there to address her own insecurities.

Just like to touch on how a lot of his affirmations are preceded by him confirming her insecurities.

I adore this phrasing

There’s a second prong to this as well, to the question of ‘who really calls the shots here’ because — Andrew can, at any stage, apply an ‘ultimate veto’ of physical violence. The game is very clear to the player that that is on the table — even when they were children, when Andy swears their blood oath, he briefly considers killing her — and take note of how he ultimately got a ‘winning’ condition out of her by not specifying there wouldn’t be others and she is forced to accept that, there. Even outside of their most serious confrontations, Ashley is portrayed as having to convince, manipulate or otherwise coerce Andrew into going along with her schemes — she really can’t make him do anything, she doesn’t have the supremacy in violence and, to a lesser extent, capability that would allow her to. 

Andrew, you are like ten years old.

The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don’t mean in the sense that I’m saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this. He needs her.

But it’s true that he hates her, too. He has to hate her, because if he doesn’t hate her, if he isn’t forced to have done this, that means… he’s responsible. And nothing, at the start of the story, is as important to Andrew as avoiding the consequences of his own actions, not even Ashley. By the midpoint, he loves her, he hates her, he can’t live without her, he wants to kill her — by the end… well, that depends if you’re on Decay or Burial, but more on that in a bit.

A great scene to study for this dynamic is the climax of Episode 1, when Andrew grabs Ashley by the throat and considers strangling her to death. She’s pushed him too far with hurtful words and assault, and he’s seemingly had enough.

It’s still framed as a question of risk, of consequences happening to him. 

Like, this is not the usual behaviour of someone who’s been pushed past their breaking point.

He tells Ashley that he wants to kill her, because she’s just going to throw another fit and that’s a risk to him. She is… not framed as being able to fight back (she does have a gun here, and more on that in a later essay, maybe). He’s so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence here, which isn’t at all what you’d expect of someone about to commit a crime of passion… but it’s very easy to overlook because of the abuser/victim narrative that the player fits his behaviour into the narrative that the game primes them to accept, brushing incongruities under the carpet.

At the start of Episode 2, we get to control Andrew for the first time, and the first obvious holes in his cover start to show. Some of this is optional — you only learn that he’s been faking having nightmares in order to share a bed with Ashley if you choose to go back into the motel room and check the bed, for example — but not all of it.

----

[duck-in-distress]

The four penguins from Madagascar are, somehow, isekaied in the middle of the clone wars

[duck-in-distress]

i think the Jedi-Positive and Jedi-Critical stances can be summed up on whether you value authorial intent or authorial execution.

Most of the Jedi-Positive people I follow quote George Lucas and director commentaries to prove their points, as well as utilize analyses from others at LucasFilm that have to keep the general status quo. It's all based on what Lucas was trying to portray, while ignoring the product in execution.

The Jedi-Critical stance tends to look at the prequel execution, and they question the obvious uncomfortable moments that have real-life parallels to atrocities. They tend to be more Legends fans, whose writers actually delved into the terrifying implications. It's all on criticizing execution while disregarding intent.

Like, take the argument about Jedi children. A Jedi-Positive person would argue that all the children are all given up with consent from their parents; this is what I am sure Lucas was intending to portray. A Jedi-Critical person will look at this and go "wait. how much 'consent' was in this encounter? the government can legally take these kids and have a representative show up to a farmer's house and tell the farmer they can technically say no? that is some bullshit." And there is real-life evidence for this. It's more on the execution.

Or the argument about love. Jedi-Positive people turn to Lucas's interview to show that they really meant it in the Buddhist sense, and if you value intent that works. Jedi-Critical people would argue that the marketing states that the Jedi cannot love, and nothing in the movies states that the Jedi meant non-toxic love when they eschew attachments.

They're both valid positions, but I think a lot of fandom brutality comes from not understanding either view, or demeaning one view in favor of another. It's perfectly acceptable to value one over the other.

[duck-in-distress]

The only thint that felt really out of character to me was anakin's reaction (or lack thereof) to Slick's speech in "the Hidden enemy".

Isn’t it weird and by weird I mean hypocritical that the Jedi found value in saving Clones, who were made to be disposable, but they couldn’t be bothered to save Shmi, Anakin’s actual mother?

It depends on what you meant by jedi putting value in saving clones. though it’s true most Jedi would do everything they could to save their men during battles, the ugly truth remains that, as an order, they did very little for the clones. 

The was no attempt to given them citizen status;

“I don’t feel like a Republic citizen, because none of us are, in case you hadn’t noticed. We don’t exist. No vote, no identification docs, no rights.” — Fi (Clone Trooper) in Star Wars - Republic Commando: True Colors by Karen Traviss

“He’s not a citizen. He’s a clone soldier.” “I know. And?” “We have no agreement for long-term care with the Grand Army. In fact, as far as the Republic is concerned this patient doesn’t exist, and as he’s been declared brain-dead by the duty neurosurgical team, we would normally terminate life support, except he’s still breathing, which is highly abnormal.” The droid paused as if to check if Besany was following its train of logic with her inadequate organic brain. “Withdrawal of life support in his case means withdrawal of hydration or feeding, or both.” “Starving him to death, for us lay-beings.” “Indeed. This is clearly ethically undesirable, so euthanasia will be administered.” Besany thought she’d misheard, but she hadn’t. “No,” she said, hearing her voice as if she were standing outside herself. “No, it will not be administered. I’ll get his care authorized. In fact, I’ll get him moved to private care.”Did I hear that right? Do they really put patients down like that? Like sick pets? “He’s Grand Army property, so unless you have a Defense requisition, you can’t take possession of him.” “He’s a human being.” [Star Wars - Republic Commando: True Colors by Karen Traviss]

There was no plans for their future post-war.

“[Darman]’d once asked Etain what would happen to the clone troops when the war was over—when they won. He couldn’t think about losing. Where would they go? How would they be rewarded? She didn’t know. The fact that he didn’t know, either, fed a growing uneasiness.” — Darman (Clone Trooper) and Etain Tur-Mukan (Jedi Knight) in Star Wars - Republic Commando: True Colors by Karen Traviss

There was no freedom (clones weren’t allowed to leave the GAR).

While Vau slept and Ordo piloted the ship, Skirata admired the haul for a while, imagining all the safehouses, escape routes, and new beginnings it could buy for clones who decided they’d completed their service to the Republic. He wasn’t encouraging desertion. He was liberating slaves.”— Kal Skirata in Star Wars - Republic Commando: True Colors by Karen Traviss

There was no respect for dead or injuried clones:

That careful comment meant a great deal in political code if the listener wanted to interpret it. Skeenah seemed to. “Yes, I’ve asked repeatedly about casualties—the medical field units are woefully inadequate, and I can’t find out what happens to those killed in action. To the best of my knowledge, the bodies aren’t recovered. There’s no heroes’ return for these poor men. So if you see large sums allocated to clone welfare, I can assure you there’s no sign of it being used to that end.” Star Wars - Republic Commando: True Colors by Karen Traviss

“You might know, then, what happens to them.” “In what sense?” “When they’re wounded but can’t return to active duty. You see, I can find out what happens on the Rimsoo medical stations—or at least I get some limited answers from the Defense staff—but I’m getting no answers about the men who can’t be patched up and sent back.” […] “I would imagine they die,” Besany said. “The army seems to go to a lot of trouble to send them back.” “Ah, but life isn’t that tidy,” Skeenah said. He lowered his voice, even though the doors were shut. “There’ll be injuries that a man can survive, but that means he’ll never be fit for service again. I can’t seriously believe something like that hasn’t happened in more than a year of this war. And yet there are no homes for these men, who must surely exist, and we know they don’t end up being cared for by family—because they have none. So where do they go?” Besany didn’t even want to think about it, but she had to. The only answer she could think of right then was that the most badly injured who might otherwise have been saved were left to die. But some mobile surgical units had Jedi advisers. No Jedi would let such a thing happen … would they? 

They were property, bought like livestock and no jedi ever questioned it.

“He wanted to ask her why only a handful of Jedi objected to a slave army, and why they could claim to believe in the sanctity of all life and yet treat some life as being exempt from that respect.” — Star Wars - Republic Commando: True Colors by Karen Traviss

“‘Explain something to me, littl’un,’ Rex said. Maybe he could have asked Skywalker this same question, but something told him it was a bad idea. ‘What’s the difference between Jedi who fall to the dark side, and do whatever it is that dark siders do, and Jedi who just let bad things happen on their watch?’ He really wanted to know.” — Rex and Ahsoka | The Clone Wars: No Prisoners by Karen Traviss

Considering how clones were treated it makes sense there was no attempt to free the slaves on Tatooine. And it’s not just about Shmi. There were numerous CHILD SLAVES on the planet and the only child they ever tried to rescue was the son of the guy enslaving them.

The Jedi Order was focused on the bigger picture, they can look away if it might work in favor of the greater good. and that’s the exact mentality Palpatine used against them.

[duck-in-distress]

I'm listening

Okay listen

1. Any AU where Anakin isn't a Jedi is probably one where Ferus still is

2. Any AU where Anakin and Ferus are still in contact is one where they have hate sex or at least angry makeouts

3. Any AU where both are true is one where Anakin is so interested in shutting up this stupid stuffy sophisticated snobby sexy Jedi with his mouth

[duck-in-distress]

Master Anakin in Foolproof, Foolhardy is foaming at the mouth jealous of Qui-Gon for having Obi-Wan's padawan braid, isn't he?

oooo i think knight anakin is foaming at the mouth for a lot of obi-wan's padawanship under qui-gon!!

i think i really tried to show that qui-gon and anakin's relationship is never the same after qui-gon agrees to take obi-wan as his padawan even if anakin begged him to do it. he's too jealous. he's too involved. he has a screaming fight with qui-gon about teaching obi-wan soresu because even if he isn't his master, he can't let him go AND he can't truly live with not having any part of obi-wan in his life (because i think in the early years of his padawanship, obi-wan is completely icing him out because he's the most hurt then, and anakin never really expected that)

BUT i think honestly anakin is fine with not getting obi-wan's padawan braid by the end of the fic because he gets obi-wan!! in ways he never even dreamed of when he asked qui-gon to take him as a padawan!! obi-wan loves him just as much, wants him just as much, in ways that go wayyyy beyond padawan&master relationship

so in the end, he's fine with it

(if he sometimes braids a section of obi-wan's hair into a little braid while obi-wan is asleep, that's just between him and the Force)