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[faerycross]

this is my fic's james. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

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sirius: i hate it when an artist covers a song and changes the pronouns like can't you just be gay for three minutes

remus: just the other day you were changing the pronouns to an hozier song...

sirius: and that's the same thing how?

remus: can't you just be straight for three minutes?

sirius: ew, what the fuck is wrong with you?

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remus: "i'm giving a chance to short men hoping to find my tom holland", i said. and here i am, married to my lord farquaad.

sirius: i want a divorce.

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a little snippet from the fic i'm working on. enjoy :)

“You okay there, Rem?”, Peter asks.

“Fine, why?”, he brings the cigarette to his lips. He still hasn’t moved his eyes.

“It looks like you’re eye-fucking him from across the room.”

“Well, that’s because I am.”

James almost spits his beer, then chokes on it. That manages to bring Remus’ attention back on him. He starts patting his back, and he’s anything but gentle.

“I’m fine, fucking hell!”, if he’s not gonna choke, he’s sure gonna have a few broken ribs.

“Easy there, Jamie. Don’t get too excited, it’s just a beer”, Remus dares to say. James glares at him.

“Jesus James, I didn’t take you for such a prude.”

“Just because I’m not deprived like you, it doesn’t mean I’m a prude”, he deadpans.

“Don’t act so innocent, it’s not like you were looking at his brother any differently the other day.” It’s Peter’s turn to choke on their beer.

“What?”, he almost shouts. “Our Jamie? Experiencing the feeling of lust? And I missed it?”, and they're pouting. The bastard is fucking pouting.

“First of all, fuck you”, James points at Remus. “Secondly, no. I wasn’t lusting after Sirius Black’s brother. And thirdly, it was a fucking photo, that would be weird.”

“Oh yes, because the multi-billionaire porn industry is definitely not based precisely on that”, Remus says, unimpressed.

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this fic is currently a work in progress, but i might start publishing it very soon. my ao3 account is faerycross. for any update, see the pinned post on my profile.

UPDATE: i started posting it :)))

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regulus: i absolutely smashed that autism test

sirius: ...

james: i think you should look into that-

regulus: nonsense. i simply am not physically capable of failing. nothing more.

remus: yeah, same

sirius: ...

james, whispering to sirius: gotta love our autistic boyfriends <3

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sirius: today is about self-care. so i'm deleting my tiktok timer and getting unlimited tiktok time

remus: that's not a self-care choice at all.

sirius: I CAN'T BELIEVE MY OWN BOYFRIEND DOESN'T SUPPORT ME TAKING CARE OF MY MENTAL HEALTH

remus: that's exactly what i'm trying to d-

sirius: THE BETRAYAL

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regulus: the idea of being perceived 24/7 is unbearable, i could never live with another person

james: we're literally married and live together every day of the week

regulus, visibly annoyed: well you're the exception okay??

james: (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

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in an au where both james and regulus are famous james has a secret tiktok account used exclusively to like and repost regulus' thirst traps. one day he forgets to switch accounts and reposts like 15 reg edits and the internet blows up. when he realizes his mistake he doesn't even bother to delete the reposts. that's the day regulus finally follows him back on every social.

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thank you all so much for your appreciation for this idea :) you actually encouraged me to write this as a fic, so i'm currently working on it

my ao3 account is faerycross, i will update you once i start publishing it :)

UPDATE: THE FIRST CHAPTERS ARE FINALLY UP

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james: honey you're fucking familiar like my fucking mirror years the fuck ago

regulus: babe are you okay?

james: i fucking love hozier.

regulus: fair point

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that awkward moment when your boyfriend drinks blue powerade and starts telling everyone he's the messiah

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evan: it's so funny to me how people want to fuck their celebrity crush cause i, as an ace person, just get this intense urge to aggressively kiss their cheeks

barty: which cheeks?

evan: go fuck yourself

barty: that's exactly what i do to keep you babygirl ;)

regulus: idiot

evan: :D

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barty: who tf sleeps at night is go around biting hot people

regulus: so that's what bit me last night

barty: no that was the bed bugs you ugly bitch

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james got a belly button piercing, part 2

*james is sporting his belly button piercing and looking for regulus*

*regulus is having a crisis in his bed*

james: hey, babe. what is it? what's wrong?

regulus: go away

james: have i done something wrong?

regulus: i can't even look at you right now

james: reg... *touches his arm*

regulus: OW *jolts away in pain*

james: what? oh my god have i hurt you?

regulus: you're too hot

james: reg i'm so so- wait, what?

regulus: YOU'RE SO FUCKING HOT

james: ...

james: *wheezes*

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james: mum can you teach me how to crochet?

effie: of course darling! why do you want to learn all of a sudden?

james: *checking the endless mental list of slvtty crop tops he wants to make for regulus* no reason...

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james: baaaaabe

regulus: what?

james: there's something tragic about you

regulus: ...

james: something so magic about you

regulus: james-

james: don't you agree?

regulus: james i know you're speaking hozier to me

james: BaAAaaAbe~

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*sirius and remus are debating intensely*

sirius: there's no way james would ever get a belly button piercing. he's a sports guy ffs

remus: wanna bet on it?

sirius: sure

*a few days later*

james: yo moony you were right, i do look amazing with a belly button piercing

sirius, to remus: no. fucking. way. how did you do it?

remus: i told him regulus would love it

sirius: where is he anyway?

regulus: *screaming into a pillow at the top of his lungs*

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sirius always carries period supplies for regulus because he knows that reg only feels comfortable asking him if he ever runs out. then, when james and regulus start dating, reg tells him about only trusting sirius with this and james immediately respects it. however, he starts carrying supplies as well. he knows reg will still be going to sirius, but he still carries them. just in case. if his boyfriend will ever be comfortable enough to ask him, he'll be sure to be prepared.