igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight - Tumblr blog

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

I still love you.

Don’t underestimate the depth of my love for you.

I still care for you.

I still love you.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

Fuck you to the moon & back

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

As if the moon gives a fuck…

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

I‘m not immune to how she looks.

I‘m not immune to how she thinks.

I‘m not immune to how she speaks.

I‘m not immune to how she smells.

I‘m not immune to her.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

The smaller something is the louder it is. You want me to proof?

Batteries. Goes from a simple A to AAA real quick.

Men. Their dick especially.

Dogs. We talk about Chihuahuas.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do with her. Or for her. It’s not that I would betray myself to be around her. But I’d try anything with her. I’d do anything with her. And for her. But you know. I wouldn’t let me lose myself in the process of doing anything for her. So it’s kind of my first healthy relationship I guess. Which is crazy. I never felt this way before. And somehow I like it. Even though it makes me nervous because this must be love. Real love. And I didn’t knew I were able to feel this. I thought I am not made for love. But I love her. And I like myself while being with her. I love her and I’d do anything for her. Without losing myself. That’s more than I could ever ask from myself. It’s crazy.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

The thing is I am so fucking mad at myself when even the slightest thing goes wrong. I have no tolerance when it’s about me making a mistake. I always make myself worse than I am and I hate myself for every mistake I make. But when someone else is doing something wrong I am the most tolerate person on earth. I excuse every mistake other people make. I try to understand them and I say shit like „It‘s not their fault. They didn’t knew it better. They are sorry so wtf. Don’t let your mistakes ruin your future….“ and I think that’s funny because I would never say that to myself.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

Yesterday I was sad. I missed you. Not because we haven’t seen a long time. But because we saw each other and knew it would be the last time. Maybe not the last time we’d see each other but definitely the last time we saw one another with open eyes. With our hearts. Definitely the last time we shared our dreams and fears and the last time we trusted each other. And this made me so sad. I sat down and took my own hand - and I imagined it was your hand. That calmed me down. We’re strangers now. Again.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

Of course I would absolutely love it if she fell for me. And yes I sometimes hope for her to fall in love with me. I dream about it and I think my favorite love story is ours by far, even though this is no love story. But no matter how much I miss the feeling of being loved. And no matter how much I wish that she’d love me, too. No matter how often I fantasize about us living the most adorable love story ever. I am always so fucking thankful that I am in love with her. That it’s not the other way round. Every single moment I thank god that I am able to give love. To feel love. Because no matter how much I want to be loved.. showing love makes me happier I guess.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

Okay.. and now?

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

Secretly I wanna die. But no one knows. So everything’s fine. Right?

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

Oh. I see. You hate me.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

I don’t understand the meaning of business cards.. are you guys really into getting called or even worse visited? Personally I am glad for everyone who’s not contacting me.. so maybe I am the weirdo but I don’t get it.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

Just made one of these tests everyone’s making and it showed that I am positive for being a burden.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

I can imagine exactly one situation where I‘d like her to shut up. If we’d watch the moon together I would need her to be quiet for a short time because I appreciate looking at the moon together but I need a few seconds where I pray to the moon and where I am able to drown in her beauty. That’s it. And after a few seconds she could talk again. As much as she wants to. And then I’d take time to drown in her way of being beautiful.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

Kinda feeling like this unicorn. Broken but still smiling and even though I am damaged I am still magical.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ

[igowiththemoon-sayinggoodnight]

The thing is you don’t need skin contact to be tangled in one another. You don’t need to actually touch each other to be in touch. We didn’t touch one another for a long time and even though I never felt her I was so fucking close to her. We shared our dreams and fears and that made us so close to each other that no skin contact could compare to that. So no, it’s not always about sex and touching physically. It’s about the souls that tangle around each other and blend together. Touching her soul without touching her skin was so damn personal and intimate.. sex couldn’t compare to that. Anyway I love touching her physically because it feesl like touching the Milky Way but that’s not the point here.

Mᴏɴᴅᴍᴀ̈ᴅᴄʜᴇɴLɪɴ